The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 95 - Tent of a Woman

Episode Date: March 21, 2017

Deep behind enemy lines, the party encounters a strange creature in her tent outside the cathedral. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Just outside the walls of the cathedral. This is such a sticky situation. The heroes clash with a powerful spellcaster. Face my wrath in the name of the Storm Tyrant. And as the battle rages. That was intense. This is... I got my heart pounded out of my chest.

Roll a cower maneuver. Thousands of giants lie in wait just yards away. Oh no! Oh no! No! Oh God. Terrible news. This is horrible.

I'm sorry I asked. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know. The adventure continues. My turn sorry I asked. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know. The adventure continues. My turn to have fun. My turn. Now. Welcome to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. It's your dwarf, Grant Berger, a.k.a. Baron Ashpeak.

Ooh, feels weird saying that first time on an intro. We've had a lot of long intros lately, guys, so I'm going to give you a gift. As a thank you for listening and supporting the Glass Can-Am Podcast, we're going to get right to it. Episode 95, Tent of a Woman. It always feels like... Can't do it. Can't do it. Can't do it.

It always feels like somebody's watching me. Oh, baby, can't you see? That's what I could think of when you guys were looking at these jars of eyeballs just following you around. Oh, yeah.

You know the story behind that song? Who's the guy that sang it? It's Rockwell. He's Barry Gordy's son. Right. And so he asks, he's like,

my no-talent son wants to be a star. Do you mind singing the hook of this song to Michael Jackson? And he's like, my no-talent son wants to be a star. Do you mind singing the hook of this song to Michael Jackson? And he's like, all right, Barry. I'll do it for you, Barry. By the way, how old's your son? Did you know that his...

Maybe I could help him be a better musician. His grandma? Is that what we're walking into right now? That's where we're going It always feels like His body's watching me I think Grant had a His grandson is actually one of the guys from LMFAO

Really? He's been getting his progeny Like pop hits they shouldn't have For decades now When you described this last episode It made me think of Augra's home in Dark Crystal. The shaman that he visits, that Gelfling visits in the first act of the movie.

God, I haven't seen that in ten years, but I actually have seen it. She has a crazy laboratory with all kinds of accoutrements. Bubbles. And eyeballs. She plucks out her eyeball and looks at you with it. Yes. Oh, now I remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gelfling? It is a pretty common thing in this sort of fantasy to come into a room with some sort of creature like this, and they have brains and hands and eyeballs and jars. I'm surprised it's taken us this long. No, it only took 95 episodes to get it. Now, one thing I don't think I made 100% clear last time as we were playing Theater of the Mind. I drew

for you guys before we recorded how last episode actually looked because I think that sometimes Theater of the Mind is great because you can really play with your imagination. Like, I want to do this, but I have an idea of exactly what it looks like,

and the best I can do is try and tell you guys, and you have to just go along with it. But now that I've drawn it, I think it makes a little more sense. One thing that I didn't mention, I guess I basically hand-waved it, is once you went under the fence, through the poop chute,

to get to the other side, you saw that winding giant staircase. And at each turn of the staircase was a pole with like a skull on top of it or a disembodied body part. Giant skulls or like human skulls? All sorts of skulls. You couldn't quite tell from the distance because it was far away. And that led up to the plateau that the cathedral sits on.

Well, you were able to just get up the plateau from the section that you were on. It wasn't a steep climb or anything. And that's where you are now in the section where you saw these two tents. So I didn't make that clear. You obviously, if you'd went over to the steps like, oh, let's just run up the steps, you would have been killed by four stone giants. Plus whoever else they were letting. When they were letting people pass the gates at the palisade,

you know, a couple at a time, one or two at a time, they were winding their way up that staircase to go to the front doors of the cathedral. So now you are over here to the south of the cathedral, okay? And you see to the west the makings of the first tower. From far away you saw that there were three towers, the middle one being the largest, going up into the clouds. But in front of you, you guys have skulked around to one of the two tents, the closer one to where you were standing. There's one a little bit farther away, a little bit closer to the front portion of the cathedral. Maybe it's 100 feet away or so.

But you guys skulk your way up here. And you actually come around to the other side, so now your backs is to the cathedral. Baron and Nestor stealth around to the flap, the opening. And you saw what you saw. Now, I've been holding out for a week to tell you what you actually saw, and Baron, roll a perception check.

Oh, God, I'm so nervous. I don't want this thing to see me. What do I get? I get a 19. 19 perception check. Mm-hmm. Now, her back is to you. But it looks very similar to the marsh giant that you fought outside the entrance to the Vault of Thorns. Oh, wow.

The only other marsh giants you have fought were the marsh giant wights. Right, that were dead. And obviously they were decaying. But this has all the markings of a marsh giant. But it's like clad in

like robes. Gruesomely ugly. Without even seeing her face. Looks disgusting. I mean, it's a marsh giant. They're not known for their beauty. That is what you see.

I think that this smooth criminal and I should moonwalk our way over to her and let her know the way that she makes us feel. That's pretty good, Grant. You know what? I'm going to give you a bottle cap. Yeah! That was good. It wasn't funny so much as it was clever.

Thank you. It wasn't funny so much as it paid tribute to you. Right. Yeah. And I will always reward for that. Grant, I can't remember the time, the last time you got a bottle cap. It was when I gave Us Cross Armor to O'Luller. No, it was another

Michael Jackson song. I was trying to get another bottle. Yeah, you better take a look at the man in the mirror. Oh! Matthew, I want you to give me all your bottle caps. This is a thriller.

I gotta tell you. Oh, boy. This is a real thriller. I feel so excited we better call my friend Billy Jean. You know what? Beat it.

Beat it. Just beat it. We're living off the wall here. This is just bad at this point. You guys can get bottle caps. It doesn't matter if you're black or white. I will give you these bottle caps. Oh, man.

We are a bunch of stupid people. Oh, my God. So Baron, with his giant bane heavy crossbow, he's going to load it real quick in the six seconds it takes, full round. Okay, so. He's just going to pull in there. He's going to look at Nestor and give him the eye, and we're going to go weapons drawn right behind her,

and I'm going to say to her, in giantess. Giantish? Giant? Giantess? Reachish, giant. Giantess. Reach for the sky. You got yourself two of the quickest draws in all of Galarian on your back. And I'd like to try and intimidate check, too, if I have a chance to do that. Sure.

So you want to roll. All right. So say what you want to say and then roll your check. All right. So he does that. I come in behind him. I've got my bow drawn and I say, try not to scream,

Nav. There'll be plenty of time for that later on. 18. 18. She whips her head around, strands of hair slapping as she does so. Who are you?

She does not look intimidated. We're the cavalry, love. What cavalry? We're the people that ride on horses at the best possible moment. I know what cavalry is, you fool. Why are you here in my tent?

We're here, uh, well, the question is, what are you doing here in your tent? What am I doing here in my tent. We're here, well, the question is, what are you doing here in your tent? What am I doing here in my tent? Yeah. A storm is rising in Galerion, young

man. A storm gathers around us even as I speak. A storm so great it will wipe the lands of men from the earth and leave only the chosen ones behind. And as I am stormborn, it is in my blood to help eradicate those unfit to weather the storm. I am the Oculus. Face my wrath in the name of the Storm Tyrant! Roll for initiative.

Beautiful. No! Oh, baby! Damn it! Damn it all! Sounds promising. Curse this die of mine! This die of mine. Alright, who is

over 20? Now don't forget Will, Della, and Baron. Who's playing Baron today? Oh, not Baron. I'm Baron. Umlo. I am playing Umlo today. Alright, so Joe, you're Umlo. Alright, who's over 20?

21 for Della. 21 for Della. NBL's over the Twins? 26 for Baron. Oh, good time to be at 26. 21 for Umlo. 21 for Umlo. Della has a higher bonus.

Okay. Nestor? 16. 16 for Nestor. Sir Will? Sir Will higher bonus. Okay. Nestor? 16. 16 for Nestor. Sir Will? Sir Will's 15. Okay. Did Della, Umlo, and Will hear any of that big speech?

You heard behind the time. That's okay. So yeah, you don't know yet anything is going on, and it is Baron's turn to act. Baron's going to look directly at the Oculus and say, Ashpeak Redheart can't lose. And he's going to immediately spend a bottle cap on his first attack. Oh, nice. That's a good idea.

Good idea. With his plus one giant bane heavy crossbow, he sizes it up. It feels a little heavy and unwieldy compared to his pistols, but... Oh, he rolled a one

and a 12. All right. So 24 to hit. Oh, 26. 26 to hit. 26 against flat-footed AC is a hit. Yes.

Yeah. Kill her. She's a witch. It would be funny if you just killed her with one shot. Ooh. 16,

22 points of damage. 22 to lead off. Not too shabby there, Baron. Do you get another attack? I do not because of the reloading speed of the crossbow, so I'm actually going to

drop the crossbow at this point. Okay. So free action, drop the crossbow. And the crossbow, so I'm actually going to drop the crossbow at this point. Okay, so free action, drop the crossbow. And then move action, can I pull out my pistol? If I stand on the same spot? Move action. Because I loaded the crossbow before we started. Yeah, the crossbow is preloaded, you shot it,

you dropped as a free action, and you want to move to draw? Yep, stay right where I am. That works for me. Okay. Della, you're up. Should I roll a perception to see what I can hear? Yeah. To see if it sounds like trouble?

I heard the crossbow. 21. 21. You do hear a crossbow go off. Okay, so Della is going to I think she's going to have the double move to get basically into the

to the opening of the tent. Alright, so you're going to go right up to the opening or are you going to pass by Nestor and Baron to get into the action? Well, how far can I get you? There?

That's 55. Great. So I'll stand right behind Nestor if I can take another five foot step. Alright, so Della moves 60 feet. Double moves to get right behind Nestor still outside of the tent, but at the opening of the flap. Swift action. Keen and shock the scimitar.

Nice. Umlo, you see Della take off towards the door. of the flap. Swift action, keen and shocked this image. Nice. Umlo, you see Della take off towards the door. Or the flap. He's just going to run after Della. So, double move. Okay, which for him is what, 10 feet? 40 feet. 40 feet.

All right, Umlo, 40 feet. It is time for the Oculus. No. The Oculus goes invisible. Oh, no. Nice. Come on. My turn to have fun.

My turn. Oculus goes invisible. That's all you see. Nestor, coin. All right. I'm gonna yeah

oh shit god I hate this uh fucking uh I'm gonna take a five foot step to my left and I'm going to ready an action

if I see her I'm going to take a single shot Nestor five foot step readies single shot last one of the round, Sir Will.

Della, umlo, took off towards the door. Tonk! Sir Will is going to just ride, I think he has to double move. Yeah, so he's going to just double move and get behind Della. Okay, plenty of movement, and you get behind

Della. So right now in the tent, at the opening of the flap is Baron. Ten feet to his left is Nestor, who is ready to action, and then now the tent has an opening for Della to walk in. She is triangularly positioned behind them. Sir Will behind there, and Umlo just huffing. He's still tired from that three-mile run.

Don't forget, Umlo is wearing a plus-two breastplate now not the nails giant nail scale armor oh I did not know that yes okay he took it off you should probably

listen to the episodes that we record I'm the only one who did I find it helps the overall story when the players listen back to this hit show

Troy I want to point out that I did listen to it that's good that's why you're everybody's favorite and I read the adventure ahead of that I frowned upon're everybody's favorite. And I read The Adventure Ahead of Time. That I frown upon.

Now that's conscientious. That I frown upon. All right. Round two. Baron. Baron is going to assume, based on the outlook of the room, that she's not moved. Now, it's been a while since we fought an invisible creature. If I shoot into the square and it's occupied by said creature still, there's

concealment, right? 50% mischance. No, it doesn't work. You cannot target something you can't see. Okay. Are you allowed to, like... No, you can. You can shoot... No. You can't... You can't target anything that has total concealment. Well, you can't target it, but you can target a square where you think it is.

Right. Shoot at the square. I think you're allowed to do that, and then it's a... If my creature's there, it's a 50% mischance on top of that. I don't think so. I think why the rule is that you can't even shoot at something that you can't see.

I know it doesn't make sense, but I think that's in the rule. You can't target something you can't see for the purposes of spellcasting or targeted effects or something like that. You can always just shoot an arrow into a hole. There's just something I've read about you're allowed to try based on where you think it is. Yeah.

But I'm not. I mean, that's what's his face. Oh, well, that was melee. I was going to say that's what the Cyclops did to Della. Just swung in the space where she just went invisible. Yeah, that was a melee attack. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I'm talking about ranged attacks. You can't attack an opponent that has total concealment, but you can attack into a square that you think he occupies. But is that ranged attacks? It doesn't specify. Okay. I swear I thought I read that you could not fire, even though it doesn't make sense.

Right, right. I read it like you couldn't do that, but, you know, whatever. Matthew, unless you find something that separates between ranged and melee, Grant, I'll let you do it. Okay. Here comes the whole giant army. Oh, that's a good point.

Oh, boy. Sorry, I took your hand off the chest piece. I've already ruled to allow it, Grant. All right, I'm going to shoot. I'm going to shoot, all right? I'm going to... I was just kidding. I'm going to shoot. I'm going to shoot. All right? I'm going to... I was just kidding. I'm going to rapid shoot.

Oh, jeez. Rapid shoot. Oh, that should be a hit if it's there. So that is a 23 against touch AC. It shatters one of the glass jars with an eyeball in the back and goes right through that empty spot. All right, then I stop shooting, and I move to the right of the door

so that other melee people and magic users that have something they can help us with can get in. Very conscientious. Now, were you declared rapid shot to begin with? Does that lock you into it, or are you allowed to pull out? I think you're allowed to stop, because if someone dies... Yeah, you have to announce it for the purposes of taking the minus to the first shot,

but you don't ever have to shoot again if you want to. That makes sense with me. Della, you're up. You're now at the flap, wide open, no one in front of you. Della's going to stay there so she can make sure she doesn't slip out of the tent, and she's going to reach over and touch Nestor and vanish him. Touch Nestor and vanish him. Two can play at the end.

Well, you can't there. I mean, you have to get in the tent to do it. All right, five foot step in. Five foot step, touch Nestor to vanish. Yep. Okay.

Classic. Classic Della. And she's just going to, you know, be ready for, you know, anything that, large that tries to slip by.

Okay. That makes sense. And now, yeah, now it's a five foot space to get out of there. So if this thing wants to run or call for backup, not a lot of room to get out there. They would have to squeeze by.

What's the rule for invisible creatures? Can you walk through someone's space without rolling a CMB, or how does that work? I mean, I think you have to rule that based on the size of the creature, the location, all that kind of stuff. Size of creature. I'm more asking so we can find out from the fans after we screw it up.

Alright. Umlo. Umlo is going to move 20 feet to the open area and he will ready an action if he sees the creature within 15 feet, he'll attack. Alright, so Umlo walks up right to the

flap, readies an action with... Yeah, so he comes around. He doesn't know what's in there. He's like, what are you looking at? But he's got the spear out, and if he sees something that he can hit, he's immediately going to attack it. Okay.

It is the Oculus's turn. No! I'm glad we all clustered together. Area of effect spell, please. Please. Well, it sure is. Stinking together. Area of effect spell, please. Please. Well, it sure is. Stinking cloud. Area of effect spell.

She is now... Let me just make sure I get this correctly. She is up on the table. She's a limber girl. Strong table. That's a well-built table. We're going to cast Joe's favorite spell in the whole world. And by favorite, I mean his least favorite, for it is so deadly.

Everyone roll a reflex save for Cone of Coal. Oh, no. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Twenty-four. Finesse stuff. Twenty-four for Nestor. Twenty for Baron 14 for Della

14 for Della Umlo and Will Umlo rolled a 12 Will rolled a 20 And Lexington rolled an 8 Oh wait I actually get my shot off Before she does that, because I'd already That's correct. Let me just resolve this.

So, the failures were Lexington, Umlo, and Della. You rolled a 20, you said? 20 for Sir Will, yeah. Yeah, it was DC 20, reflex save for half damage. But, Nestor, you get your shot off. This is very bad.

This is very bad. This is very bad. This is like... 14 damage. Oh, so it hit? Yeah. What was the... It definitely hit. I rolled a 17.

She has to roll a concentration check to cast that spell. Right, with the damage. DC 10 plus the damage taken. So DC 20... Oh, 15 damage. DC 25 concentration check to get off Cone of Cold.

All right, 15 damage. DC 25 concentration check to get off Cone of Cold. All right, 15 damage. Let me check her concentration here. I think, because I think the order is she goes to cast the attacking spell. She becomes visible. She takes damage. He interrupts it. Right. Potentially.

Oh, awesome. So what is the DC? 25 concentration. Okay, she's got great concentration. Not even joking. 25. Oh, awesome. So what is the DC? 25 concentration. Okay, she's got great concentration. Not even joking. 25. 26. Ugh.

26. God! This is going to hurt so bad. Let me just get my wolf. Let's do the ever-popular counting of the D6s. Nestor, I think you could get sneak attack damage. You were invisible. Oh, no, you're right.

You're right. Oh. Good points. I, no, you're right. You're right. Oh. Good points. I didn't even think of that. So that's 12. Another 12. Yeah. Sneak damage.

Well, Conan Gold is still paying off. She would have failed her concentration. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm moving on with it because the hand was off the chest piece. 1d6, 2d6, 3d6, 4d6, 5d6, 6d6. He wants it so bad. He wants it so bad. 3d6, 2d6, 3d6, 4d6, 5d6, 6d6, 7d6. He wasn't so bad! He wasn't so bad. Great and cheating.

Oh, baby! Alright. 10, 16, 17, 18, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, and 4 is 29 damage to the people that failed, 15 to the people that saved. And so, I'm sorry, how many?

29. You're rounding up, not rounding down? Oh, I'm rounding up. Oh, wait. No, no, no. It's zero, because it never happened. I don't know. It is tricky, though, because she was invisible. Maybe. I don't know. Whatever. We rule this, so we're moving on, but she would have become visible

when she started casting the spell right because it's an offensive maneuver and then that would have activated Nester's attack

she had no idea where he was sneak attack damage she failed to save right she failed the concentration check right but the

problem is is I already told you that I made the concentration check and I told you the number

that I made it and then it's like oh wait let me add this number you know what I mean like you are technically right but because this is all happening behind the screen it gives made it, and then it's like, oh, wait, let me add this number. You know what I mean? Like, you are technically right,

but because this is all happening behind the screen, it gives me no leeway. That's fine. All right, so... We're all okay with that. You skid most of all. I get both sides of the argument. All right, so what... Is everybody okay?

Everybody alive? Yes. Lexington is unconscious and dying. Unconscious. Well, do you bleed? Well, I guess... Yeah, I mean... Yeah, I guess whenever you go unconscious and dying. Unconscious. Well, do you bleed? Do you? Well, I guess. Yeah, I mean.

Yeah. I guess whenever you go unconscious. Okay. Lexington, unconscious and dying. The Oculus is now visible. All right, Joe. Talk to me about Sir Will. Sir Will. Lexington just got knocked out from under him with this cone of cold.

So he is dismounted. I'm going to roll a ride check to not go prone. I think I'm good. 19. ride check to not go prone. I think I'm good. 19. Should be fine. All right. So you just land on your feet as Lexington collapses.

And then I'm going to do – jeez. This is tough. I am going to channel positive energy. Actually, no. I'm not going to do that god i hate this i'm gonna i'm gonna do uh i'm gonna do a heel check on lexington just to attempt to stabilize him uh so lexington goes down he's like oh my god and he takes a second to to make sure that he's okay uh and he succeeds uh dc. So just stabilizes Lexington. That's his round. Stabilizes Lexington. Okay.

I was going to ask you to roll a constitution check for Lexington. So you just stabilize Lexington. Yes. Okay. We know what side your bread is buttered on. Round three. Baron. Baron will take a five foot step forward.

Okay. And is going to really fan off the trigger on this on a rapid shot. He's not going to stop shooting. 15, And is gonna really fan off the trigger on this on a rapid shot. He's not gonna stop shooting. 15, 20. She's up on the table. I think that's probably still... Take a five foot step forward instead of to the side and you'll be alright. Like here? Were you right at the door?

I was here. Oh, you were there. So take it diagonally forward. Yeah, now you're okay. Alright, we are all set. Um, three rapid shots. Do it. Misfire! Oh! Was it a one, two, or three? It was a one.

It was a one? So that's a possible fumble as well. Roll to confirm the fumb. Oh dear. Oh, that's an absolute hit. So it's not a confirm. Okay confirmed Okay Alright so misfire Gun is jammed So should I fire again And risk another misfire

Or should I You know what I'm going to spend a grit point No because that's a full round action I can't interrupt a rapid shot Okay I'm going to have to wait until next turn to clear out my gun, then I don't want to risk blowing it up, shooting her.

Oh. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Because if it blows up, it's gone forever, as we learned from my first gun. It's true. Just like your hat. If it was something like... Not like your hat.

When are we going to find a haberdashery, Troy? Yeah, really. Maybe I get a brand new beautiful hat like your Red Sox. Just ask around when you get your cathedral. That's where I can get a good hat. When are we going to find a haberdashery, Troy? Yeah, really. Maybe I'll get a brand new beautiful hat like your Red Sox. Just ask around when you get in the cathedral. That's where I can get a good hat. Yeah. I'm sure there's tourist carts. Immediately squashed by a great club.

All right, Della, you're up. What do you got? Della's going to cast Web. Web. Oh, it's been a while since we've seen the old Web. Show me what two parts she's sticking it to. She's sticking it to the wall of the tent and the table desk thing on the other side. So between here and here?

No, no. Here and there. Yeah, where it gets funny. So from this wall all the way through this to here? It's a 20-foot radius, basically. Right. Yep. Okay.

I think you can do that. It's a fixed object, right? Yeah. Or it could be the roof of the tent. Or it could be the roof of the tent. It's whatever. Yeah, I'm just trying to picture if you can go across three points. You know what I mean?

Like you're going from the desk over it. Okay. Yeah. Go for it. You throw a DC 15 reflex save. DC 15 reflex save. Not her best save. Cracked eye.

16. Okay, so you're in the web. I'm in the web, so if I want to move now, I've got to roll to escape artist, or I'll let you look that up. Yeah, you're otherwise affected. You're not caught. You're not grappled or anything. Right. But I think there's a chance you can get caught if you try to move.

All right. Umlo. Umlo is going to move into the room and attack her. Okay. Umla just stabbing up at the table. Heart spit. Heart spit. Heart spit.

Here we go. Natural. That's a 23. 23. Miss. Awesome. So you need to do a combat maneuver or escape artist check as part of your move action. The DC is 15 to move through the area of the web.

Okay. So she's going to automatically move out of that. Dang. But. Not if she rolls a one. Not if she rolls a one. You know what the last web battle was that I remember when we fought Tark Sinskin and that worked out great for everyone.

Hey, we won. We survived. It did not work out well for Gajnak. No. That poor, poor man. That poor cook who had his thoughts sowed. We could have had a cook-off show between Umlo and Gajnak. It's a shame he died. Nestor,

you are up. Alright uh i'm gonna take another five foot step to my left and take a full attack against this uh horrible woman 30 30 hits and damage uh 19 No, no, no. That's many shots, so that's 35. 35 damage. 35 damage. Okay. And then second attack. Miss.

Miss on the second attack. Okay. Give me one second here. Just going to look at a couple things. And you've been rolling shock damage, right? Yeah. Okay. All right. It is her turn. She goes invisible again.

Now, you have to account for this I refuse to accept you not accounting for this Talk to me We can see the webs moving Sure She is not, magically not in this plane anymore Right She's just invisible

So whatever direction she moves in, if she moves We at least get perception checks to see where the webs move Right, okay And the webs, are they floor to ceiling? Yeah. We said they're attached to the wall and then down to the... They're about 40 feet high, 40 feet wide. Okay.

Kind of a wall of webs. Okay. And she was in them. So if she does move, we would see the web shake. Right. Even if she gets out of it. I mean, it could be subtle. It could be like, oh, she moved back. We don't know what square she's in shake. Right. Even if she gets out of it. I mean, you know, it could be subtle. It could be like,

oh, you just, she moved back. You know, we don't know what square she's in necessarily, but. Okay, you see the web start to lift up.

Toward up. Yeah. Oh no! Oh no! No! Oh God! Don't even have to roll a perception for that.

Just whoop, the web start to lift up. This is terrible news. This is horrible. I'm sorry I asked. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know. The nerds is bliss.

Sir Will, roll a perception check. Okay. Sir Will Perception. 19. 19 perception. You hear to the right, or rather, you see. Oh no. Oh God.

Oh no. A fat, clearly pregnant hill giant coming around the corner. What all is going on around here? Oh no. Small folk. I'll put you in my stew! And this hill giant comes charging around the corner. Oh, no.

It can't make it to you, though, with the movement it has. Oh, my God. And you see, as she gets close to you, big, fat, pregnant belly and speckles of blood all over her, and she's got a giant cleaver in her hand. Oh, my God.

That's the actual pawn. She's another chef. Another cook. Another cook! Too many cooks! Too many cooks! Too many! Boop! Uh, alright. And now it is Sir Will's turn. Oh. Oh my god. She looks so creepy. Sir Will, hand on Lexington, is going to say I'm sorry, friend.

And he's going to jump, like, into the tent between Nestor and Della, and he's just going to say, They're flanking us! Roll a cower maneuver. He's going to say, They're flanking us! And he's going to enact shared defense.

So Nestor and Della, and anyone who wants to move adjacent to me during this combat, plus one to AC and plus one to saving throws. Sweet. All right, shared Sweet. Thank you. Ah, alright. Shared defense. Round four. Baron!

Baron is going to spend a grip point to quick clear his gun and remove the broken condition from it as a move action, and he is going to ready his standard action to fire when ready upon any giant that comes into his field of view. And do you want to move into shared defense range?

I use my move action for the quick clear. Got it. All right, Della Dells. Okay, Della, hearing Will's warning, is going to cast Longarm and move out to get into melee with the hill giant. Oh, a little one-on-one with old Hilly. Actually, you know what? No. She's going to stay where she is because that hill giant is certainly coming our way.

Yeah, exactly. But you threaten more squares now. Exactly. What was that? Oh, you cast a spell, right. Okay. Umlo. What was that?

Oh, you cast a spell, right. Okay. Umlo. Umlo, seeing that it is pointless to look for this, to try to attack this flying... What is she? Marsh Giant? He's going to... Hearing Will's call, he will move out to attack the hill giant that's flanking us. Or at least see what it is.

They're flanking us! hill giant that's flanking us. Or at least see what it is. They're flanking us! And he comes out around and stays 15 feet away and attacks with heart spit. Against the hill giant who goes by the name of Rotter Blood Freckle.

Big pregnant belly. Actually, you know what he's going to do? Seeing this, he's going to move put him just one square back. He's going to do? Seeing this, he's going to move, put him just one square back. He's going to brace Hardspin against a charge. Brace against a charge. So he comes out, sees it, it's like 20 feet away or so, and he's going to try to subtly, like, I don't have a spear,

and just wait to see if it charges him. And he's going to go stun the back to everybody else and ready a brace. And now I'm going to look that up for 15 minutes. Okay, good, good, good. Nestor, you're up. Okay, god damn. This is such a sticky situation. I hate invisibility. I hate it.

I hate it so fucking much. To be fair, we do it to Troy. Do you remember the first a wigga fight? I hate it so fucking much to be fair we do it to Troy remember the first every combat yeah we do remember the first a wig a fight oh my god

I remember it like it was yesterday the most edited episode yeah because it was like 45 straight minutes of me bitching yeah I'm just gonna and that's the thing

with ready to action too is I can't do the mini shot because it has to be the first attack and a full attack action right so it fucks me there so yeah I'm just gonna fucking ready in action like is I can't do the many shot because it has to be the first attack and a full attack action right so it fucks me there so yeah I'm just gonna fucking ready

in action like if I see her I'll shoot her again and hopefully Nestor ready it is the oculus's turn

I hate this name the oculus I am the oculus sounds like a machine I am stormborn so she says that and we know where

she is? Right, you hear that as the Nestor fires. Nestor, you get your radiation. Okay. Well then. Well done, gentlemen. It's like playing Battleship, but one player

can see the other player's board. That's invisibility for you. All right. The oculus appears and Nestor gets her shot off. She is hovering above Vic's bookcase over here. And Baron. And Baron. You both get your shots off.

Oh, miss. Fuck. Can it be any standard attack action? Oh, actually, it would miss anyway, because there's like three lines between them. You had to write a specific attack action. You said you'd fire a shot. I was going to spend a grip point to ready it. I didn't realize I could.

Next time I would. No, it wasn't up close and deadly, actually. You think you know, but you have no idea. You don't know me. Welcome to real world true now. That is absolutely a big old hit. 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage, not two shabs.

The Oculus calls down the power of lightning. This can only go in a straight line, so Della, Sir Will, and Nestor roll a... I believe you get a reflex save on this. I will do it as long as it's not call lightning. It's not call lightning. Okay. It's lightning bolt. Got it. G's not Call Lightning. It's Lightning Bolt. Got it.

Gormley had that. Remember, plus one. Plus one to your saves. Reflex save. 24. 24. Nest of Coins. 32.

32. 18. Fail. No. Sir Will, we're the fail. The little man, no. No. I'm a tiny target.

And what is it? Does it affect people more with metal armor? Thank you for asking that, Grant. I think it's an extra 5d10. I think it might increase the DC. Troy, let me correct you there. It's d12? Basically, it sets fire to combustibles and damages objects in its path.

It can melt metals with a low melting point. It's a cool spell. Yeah, it's not going to... Oh, I rolled a D. Why did I roll a D8 in there? I meant a D6. And that D8 was a 1, so I'm going to re-roll that. 6.

Oh, rolled a 6. Not a good job. Oh, man. Jeez. 16, 20, 26. 31 points of damage to Sir Will. 15, we'll do 15 to the Nestor and Della.

Oh, God. He's going to will. Good thing you, would you roll Della? 24. God damn it. It was a 19, was it, DC? Oh, no, I don't have my own shared defense. I'm sorry, I don't have my own shared defense. I'm sorry. I don't have my own.

Boom. That is what the Oculus does. And now it's, Rotterblad Freckles turn. What are you doing over here? And she charges at Oculus. Beautiful. Look at that.

Beneficent GM. Here we go. Well, she was charging at Sir Will, so I had to keep that. Anyone have a bottle cap? Anyone? Yeah, I'll give you a bottle cap. Can Anyone have a bottle cap? Anyone? Yeah, I'll give you a bottle cap. Can I get a bottle? A bottle? I'll give you one.

Let me get a bottle. And are we going to hold it to you if Umlo does a crit with Heart Spit? I will allow the level up of Umlo, yeah. It's not going to happen. Joe's rolling. It's the easiest promise I ever made. Here we go. First roll. Natural four. Of course.

Sega roll. When you're bracing, you get multiple attacks with a brace? No, this is a bottle cap. This is the bottle cap. Oh, the bottle cap. Why don't you roll

two d20s at the same time? I dropped one and I don't have time for this. We're live. No, I'm trying to do it that way. Oh, natural 20!

Gotta confirm the crit. Come on, don't make me confirm it. Roll twice on the confirm. Oh, roll twice on the confirm. Can I get the roll twice on the confirm. Oh, roll twice on the confirm. Can I get the roll twice on the confirm? Wait, no. Here's the question. Do you want Umlo to level up?

I don't care about Umlo, and I don't care about you. Roll once to confirm. Here we go. Natural one. That's so shitty. That's so shitty. That's so shitty. That's so shitty. Max damage, though. But you so shitty. That's so shitty. That's so shitty.

Max damage, though. But you get max damage, and it's a giant, so you get the extra 2d6. But I don't max that, right? I roll that. No, I think you get max everything. Yeah, this isn't critting and multiplying. It's not precision damage. That's our house rule.

44 points of damage. 44 points of damage. Now, if it was a bit of luck, You would have got the extra d20 on the confirmed I can understand Bottle caps are so powerful It's as powerful as a first level cleric I mean you give them out so rarely That you get to use 7 times a day

Except not even I gave you a bit of Joe instead That doesn't help anyone Rotter blood freckle charges and power attacks. One attack. 29 to hit. Yeah, that'll do it. Will that do?

That is going to be 19 points of damage to Umlo. Umlo goes down. Boom! Cleaver to the chest. By the way, Umlo hit her right in the pregnant belly. Oh, God. That's a really morbid thought. And then he goes unconscious.

Sir Will. So, element. Okay, he is seeing Umlo go down. He is going to try to be brave and go after this thing, I think. I mean, what else is he going to do? Go after the Oculus? No, he can't go. Is the Oculus on the ground? No, she's flying.

Exactly. You hear behind you the stab of the spear and then just a sound of Umlo crying out as he crumples behind you. Right. Well, I think that if Sir Will goes after the hill giant, the hill giant might kill Sir Will. But I don't really see any other recourse.

His friends were all flanked. He's going to try to protect people and take the attention of the giants. What are you sitting on for hit points? I am sitting on 44 hit points. What about the armor? I have no armor on. Oh, you took it off. Oh, about the armor? I have no armor on. Oh, you took it off. Oh, that's right.

You have no armor on. I thought you put leather on. Leathers. I have leather armor on. You have garbage armor on. I have garbage armor on. I just don't see anything else to do besides... You could be our tiny little channel.

Yeah, I can channel and bring Umlo back up so that they can just kill him in one hit permanently. You'd do what you think Sir Will would do. I think Sir Will is going to say, For the rose and the light! And charge at this giant. At that volume? We're sneaking.

All right, so you're charging out around the flap? Oh, yeah, so I'm not going to charge. I'll just move, and I will roll a reflex save to avoid an attack of opportunes. I was just going to ask you. And I will not make it because I'm sure the CMD, this thing is ridiculous. Yeah, fail. And power attack is still on. Right.

Oh, 17. Hit. Oh, miss. Miss. Yes, good. Because it's a giant. Okay. Wow.

Wow. And he will attack with Rose Light. Will's Last Stand. Will's Last Stand. That looks will attack with Rose Light. Will's last stand. Will's last stand. That looks like about a Joe roll. Natural six. Yep. On his last roll ever.

Awesome. Great. On his last roll ever. Good stuff. All right. Round five. Oh, my God. The Oculus just flying around, going invisible, ignoring sneak attack damage.

So powerful. And now floating at the top of this, she just, lightning bolts down. Boom, cone of cold before. And now you've got this other thing to contend with that heard the sound of Baron's gun and came rushing from wherever she was holed up. Rotterblood feckle.

Freckle. Feckle. I don't want to be feckle about it, but Baron, you're up. Baron is going to spend a grit point to target her head. And should it hit, she will be confused and, I believe, unable to act next round. Well, confused, you roll a D100. Yes, confused for one round if I confirm

if I can hit her. It's quite a leap saying she can't do anything. Well, it's, uh, well Confusion is so much fun. I'm confused just thinking about it. Okay. 17 against touch AC. 17 against touch AC

is a hit. Yes! Oh, minimum damage. 11 points of damage and confused. 11 points of damage and confused. All right, there's no save on the confused? Nope. All right, so I roll a D100.

I'll roll it on her round. Remind me. Hold me to it. That'll be fun. And it is going to... You got more actions, Baron? Or that targeting is a... I'm not going to rapid shot and target at the same time,

just in case I'm wrong and I don't want to be too crazy. Until I confirm it. It'll take too long. Kill the flaw. Della. Sir Will stepped into Della's... Well, can you melee attack through an ally's square? How does that work?

Remember he ran into this with Lockmore Eddergun? Lockmore stabbed past. Yeah, you can do it. They just have cover. Yeah. Okay, Del is not going to do that. Del is going to cast... You know, since I feel like this is a callback episode,

she's going to do a little Glitter Dust. Yeah. Oh, Glitter Dust. But no, that won't... If she's currently visible, it won't work unless you're just trying to blind her but the dust will settle on her regardless right yeah no it works that spell will is it a persistent cloud though because like if it gets on her and then she turns invisible the dust turns invisible too i see right it makes invisible things visible i don't think it like

says just just playing it safe here with yeah no it If you could blind her, you're losing half of the effect. All right, well, then I will. Hold on to that until she turns invisible. I'll take the five-foot step and swing spell combat, spell strike, shock and grasp over Sir Will, and I'll take the cover. All right, so just walk me through this. You're attacking the hill giant? Yes.

Okay. All right, so it's going to get a plus two with AC? And what does she have for a weapon? Cleaver. So I get a plus three from the Shocking Grasp. Yeah. Because she has something metal. Yeah.

Oh, I thought they had to be wearing metal. Metal weapon or metal armor. Oh, interesting. Okay. Wouldn't that be every creature? Not necessarily. Giants and natural animals. Not wild animals.

Not Neanderthals. Not Smilodons. Not Neanderthals. 17 to hit. That would be a miss. Okay, and then here's the actual attack. That's such a weird thing, the way it's worded. I don't know how I'll really attack.

Natural 1. Oh! Oh my god! Roll to confirm the thumb. No, give me the card. Just take it. I don't have multiple attacks. He doesn't have multiple attacks yet.

Still don't have multiple attacks. Eighth level, Magus. That stupid bard level. Della is a fumbler. Della the fumbler. So is this melee? Yeah. Slit.

You are knocked prone. Oh, no. You really are on the worst streak. This is worse than anything Joe has done. Yeah, it really is. And it's been across all games, too, so it's not just here. Yeah, it's the curse campaign. It's everything.

Unbelievable. Nocturne. Nocturne. You never should have... That was natural A, natural 1. You never should have accepted that toadstool soup from that old woman in the park. That was my mistake. You're never going to learn, Matthew.

All right, Umlo. You roll to stabilize yourself. Or are you already stabilized? No, I don't think he has that. How far in the negative are you? Negative two. Negative two, so it's DC twelve? DC twelve, yes. So it's ten plus the damage

below zero to stabilize yourself. And what's your fortitude? He fails. So he takes another point. Takes another hit point of damage. And I believe his con is at what? Ten. Ten, so he has seven rounds from permanent death. Seven rounds believe his con is at what? Ten. Ten. So he has seven rounds from permanent death. Seven rounds from permanent death. Or an AoE spell that affects everybody in the area.

Right. Which would kill him, Lexington, and hopefully Della. All right, Nestor, you're up. All right. So we have now, outside this tent, we have two bodies now. Lexington and Umlo are out. Yeah, and three people on the ground because Della's... And Sir Will is out.

Yeah, and Della's on the ground. And Sir Will... Della, short-footed dancer Della. Like... It's that long arm. The long arm is too upper balanced. All right. I'm going to fire at the Oculus.

I've got study targets. Totally clear shot because she's up in the air. Doing many shots. This has to kill. Yes. Natural 20. Natural 20, mate. Roll to confirm.

Natural fucking 20. Does not confirm, but that's max damage. That is max damage. Which might be better. Yeah, so that's 48 points of damage. Yes! And you kill the Oculus. Yes!

Holy shit. I'll tell you right now, you could have hit twice with your attacks. You have three attacks, probably hit with three attacks, and it would have lived, but it didn't. Boom, the Oculus. Run the fucking throat! Run the fucking throat, mate! Oculus goes unconscious and takes another five points in falling damage. Boom, hits Oculus. Damn. Right on the fucking throat. Right on the fucking throat. Oculus goes unconscious and takes another five points in falling damage. Boom, hits the bookcase.

The bookcase topples over and glass goes everywhere. Potions, maybe some magical potions. Oh, we need that. 48 points of damage. Right on the fucking throat. How much of that was shock damage? 12. Okay.

Unbelievable. Nicely done. Fuck yeah. Nestacorn. Okay. Unbelievable. Nicely done. Fuck yes! Nesta coin! We needed that. Case Morpheus! It is the Oculus's turn. She stays down.

Okay. Obviously. And now it's Rotter Bloodfreckle's turn. Standing up in the face of Sir Will. Come at me! I'm feeling a little critty. Oh no. I'm feeling a little critty. Oh, no. I'm feeling a little critty.

No, you're not. All right. That's shitty, Troy. That's what you're... I'm going to keep power attack on. Two attacks. No, you're going to have to move first. You can't attack me that close.

I'm too tiny. Five foot step or forward or back? Back. Okay, fine. Five foot step back. Unless you don't want to step back and would rather not attack this round. I want to know what's going to hurt. Oh, you know what?

Del is on the ground, right? Can you attack creatures on the ground? Yeah. Yes. Sure. I'm wondering if I can cleave. Do I get a bonus? Oh, no, no.

You can't. No, you can't hit me at that range. So you could attack her. Or you can take a step back. You can only pick one of us to attack because of your positioning. Oh, right, right. So, yeah, that's the tough thing about Clit. You both have to be ten feet away for it to work and adjacent to each other.

All right. I was trying to hurt a bunch of you. I'll just hurt you, Joe. All right. First attack. Natural one. Oh! Right.

She thinks she just lost her baby. She's freaking out. All right. I think that you'll confirm. I don't think you'll confirm. 22. Does not confirm. All right. So, miss. I mean, yeah, it's just a miss. Probably the worst. I mean that you'll confirm. I don't think you'll confirm. 22. Does not confirm. All right, so miss.

I mean, yeah, it's just a miss. Probably the worst. I mean, that's great for you. It is. And then second attack, 24 to hit. That hits. So that power attack, looks like Sir Wills might make it through this old combat. It's going to be 18 points of damage.

Boom, power attack. Boom. Oh, yeah. Who knows what's on that cleaver? You might have to roll for it, you'd say. I'll think about it. Sir Will, you're up. Sir Will, undeterred. Lexington, unconscious and dying. Not dying. Umlo, unconscious and dying.

Unconscious and dying. Will is going to continue the fight. Step forward for the rose and the light. Miss with the first attack. Come on, where's the light? Oh, buddy. Second attack.

Natural 18. But I have to actually look at my bonus because it's not great. 24. Hit. Yeah, hit! Hey! There you go, Sir Will. The rose.

And he does seven points of damage with his little sword. Not very good at all. No. No. No. Not very good. He's taking attention. Now Deli can get up without provoking an attack of opportunity.

Baron, you're up. So Baron's weighing the pros and cons of firing his gun outside of the tent and attracting more attention versus healing his companion, Umlo, and he sees will and dire straits. I think he's going to keep it covert because that's what's gotten us this far. Hope the tent muffled things. But if I fire outside the tent at blood freckle, I'm worried of attracting more attention. Right. So he's going to walk over towards Umlo.

Very casually. Nothing to see here. And he is going to cast Cure Light Wounds on him. Cure Light Wounds on Umlau. Okay. Stabilize him. Boom. Comes over, lays on hands. And does eight points of healing to Umlau. Wow. Very nice.

What's that? D8 plus one? Yeah. He opens his eyes on the ground. Nice job, Baron. Baron, the healer. Excellent. Well done. Della, you're up.

Or actually, you're down. Up! Oh, hey! See what you did there? Della's going to stand up. And... That's all she's going to do. Because Shocking Grasp is still charged,

and if I cast another spell, it'll dissipate. All right, talk to me. His long arm still... That's still active. So Dull stands up with his long, dangly arm dragging on the ground. She'll do total defense as a standard action.

Okay, Dull stands up. Move action. Total defense. Okay. She's got like Kevin Durant's arms. Umlo, you are now up and you are awake. Okay. At what? a solid four or five hit points? Yeah. Umlo

is going to reach over, grab Hardspit, pull himself up, and roll a save looking at this creature to see if he has to go attack it. And he passes. So, then that's his round.

So wait, what does he do? I never rolled the save on a steel hand. Well, he never saw a giant. That's the first time he's seen it. No, no, he did a lot of damage to it. It charged at him. Oh, that's right. Oh, he's not wearing the nail armor.

Well, he attacked it anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Right, right. Okay. Well, no, but right now... Almost instincts were correct as if he had failed it. He went out there and fought

it so right okay just remember you passed it so now you can do whatever you want Nestor you're up you're inside the tent you hear this shit going on out there Nestor is gonna step outside the tent and move to Della's right and take one standard shot with the study target and do standard shot.

Natural 19. Oh, he's on a roll. 32 to hit. 32 to hit. 18 damage. One point of which is shocking damage. Okay. 18 damage. Nestor just...

This is a guy you want shooting arrows at enemies. Yep. That's what you want. It is Rotter Blood Freckle's turn. That went really fast. It did go really fast. And let's see here. Really want to cleave.

Sir Will's right in the way Literally it's Rotter Blood Freckle, Sir Will standing Toe to toe with a giant and then behind him The entire rest of the party Grouped in like a four square I really want to do cleave I'm going to kill Sir Will instead

Alright, power attack still on First attack, crack die Natural 20 Joe's looking at me Power attack still on. First attack. Crack die. Natural 20. Oh. Joe's looking at me with dead angry eyes. Oh, no. To confirm.

Crack die. Stop it. No. To confirm. Another crack die. No. 29 to confirm. Don't put a question mark at the end of that.

You know what, though? This is a card. You know what, though? This is a card. You know what, though? I do have a light fortification, light steel, plus one shield. That's what my mother gave me! I have a 25% chance to avoid any extra damage from that crit. Really? To negate the crit.

I thought fortification reduced damage, not negated. It negates the bonus damage from the crit. Oh, really? To negate the crit. I thought fortification reduced damage, not negated. It negates the bonus damage from the critical. So you still get a hit, but it's just not a crit. Okay, so it would be regular. So what is it, 76 or higher? 76 or higher. Roll it on the old map. 76 or higher.

Come on, Sophia! 84! Are you kidding me? I got it! Yes! 84? The magic shield! The magic shield! Because you have a magic shield. 84 are you kidding me I got it 84 the shield the magic shield because you have a magic shield it really works

you have a 25% chance of negating a crit or sneak attacks yeah holy wow okay let's uh read what

the thing would have been on the crit card well I think status effects would still happen though right oh my god I'm not even joking this is on the crit card. I think status effects would still happen though, right? Oh my god. I'm not even joking. This is what the crit was.

Severed hand. Normal damage. Target loses hand and takes 1d3 con and strength drain. Oh my god! Fortitude negates. Jesus Christ. And the fortitude save would have been, what is it, the confirmation?

DC 29. So he comes down, she comes down with the cleaver right on Sir Will's hand, and the shield is right there. Knocks it away. Severed hand with umlo and everything. Can't we just let it happen? It's better for the story if it's severed hand. No, not without a cleric. You are the one that draw these death crits.

Yeah, seriously. So what are we going to call it? Max damage or I roll for damage? It's max damage. No, normal damage. Oh, right, because, yeah, it just turns into a normal damage. It's going to be 18 points of damage.

Oh, God, it's lifesaver, literally. That was the first attack, right? Yes. Okay. I can do this all day. Wow. That was intense. This is...

Oh my god, my heart's pounding out of my chest! Stuff is happening here. I can see Sir Will just killing Umlaut. No. No! No! Natural 20. Oh my god.

Is that the neon green die? Neon green die. Look around here. I can see it! It's a 20! Holy shit! This is... I did this with the Smilodons a couple episodes ago. Let me roll to confirm. You's a 20. Holy shit. I did this with the Smilodons a couple episodes ago.

Let me roll to confirm. You're going to confirm. Cracked up. No, I'm kidding. 18 on the die to confirm. Oh, shit. Well, roll your fortification. I don't roll.

Oh, my God. Really pushing my luck here. 76 or higher. 76 or higher. Oh, my God. 80. 100. higher. 76 or higher. Oh my god! 80. 100! 100!

100! Holy shit! Oh my god! You had me! You had me! You had me! You had me! Shailen and Yomadai are shining upon you. Sir Will of it!

That's the power of good. Regular damage. 20 points of damage. What was the crit? The crit was spun around. Normal damage, the target is flat-footed for one round. Sir Will is unconscious and dying. Unconscious and dying,

but would have been perhaps, well, it was normal damage, but still. The hand one would have been. You've got to be kidding me. He's at negative 12. Negative 12. What's your con? 18. Oh my God. Wow.

Little Willy style. Well, I mean, if I go down, that is a way to go down. Just king and then one way to go. King and then another way, but still taking cuts. Still taking cuts. That's your mother's shield? Yep, that she bought for me. Wow.

Wow. Somebody's looking over Sir Will as we go into... Oh, actually. Actually. No, you know what I'm just gonna go down I'm just gonna go down Why you have an ability to stay

I have an immediate spell That I can do to Lay on hands myself But that is such a heavy blow It won't even bring me above zero It's not worth it Alright Round seven

Oh shit Seven We don't Crown must never get to round seven Baron Ashpeak Um Baron's going to Continue field med um baron's going to continue field

medicating and he's going to stop uh his friend sir will from uh dying okay he's gonna use his last spell of the day and say torag and yomadai unite once again okay. Yep. And he rolls. Max nine. Nice. Upfield. Sir Will is stabilized. Sir Will may live another day.

Oh, my goodness. Look at Matthew's heart. It's like... Are you still below zero? Yeah. Sir Will is down. Negative three. But stabilized and at negative three. Perfect for an AoE spell.

All right. Baron, you move up there. All right, so now it's just bowling pins. It is Della's turn. Floppy arm. Della is going to get... Now she's going to move within ten feet of the hill giant and swing with her still-charged scimitar.

I'm going to throw in a bottle cap. There you go. Yeah, there you go. Take him out. Natty 20. You do. Kill it. Kill it.

Critical threat. Critical threat. Critical threat. Critical threat. Critical threat. To confirm. 20 to confirm. 20 to confirm.

Does not confirm. All right. Did you roll a 20 on the die? No, I rolled a... All right, so roll for 10. It does not confirm. All right. Did you roll a 20 on the die? No, I rolled it. All right, so roll for damage. Okay. Critical fail. Hang on.

So it's not flaming because we were sneaking around, but it is shocking. It sure is. Troy just restrained himself. 96. 96 plus four. Oh, my goodness. 34 points of damage. 34 points of damage. Ooh, doctor. Plus 4. Oh my goodness. 34 points of damage. 34 points of damage.

Doctor. So close. So close, Doctor. Alright, is that your action? You have 17 more times. Well, Della will take the opportunity to taunt the hill giant in giant. Oh, what do you say? That was one less giant in the world. Now let's make it two.

Well, actually it would be three. Well, three, really. I didn't think about the cast. I was talking about the one that we get Umlo killed in her belly. And now we're going to make it two. That's meaner than what I said. Well, yeah, I'm trying to antagonize her. I'm just trying to be mean.

I'm just saying, I expect more out of you. Della, I just wanted to let you know that there's a counselor at your school you can always talk to about your feelings. Umlo, you're awake. Are you up? Yep. Sorry. I was still staring at my natural 100 on the deep tens. Umlo is now up, standing.

He's just going to hold. Umlo holds for Nestor Coyne. All right. He's just going to hold Umlo holds for Nestor Korn Alright, Nestor's going to take a five foot step And he's going to take a studied action Deadly aim, full attack Against this Until recently pregnant creature Natural fucking 20! Oh my god

Holy How many crits? This is just completely nuts. 46 damage. And the hill giant's dead. Boom. Right between the eyes. Oh, my lord.

Oh, man. Will, are you still unconscious? Yeah, still unconscious. And so is Lexington. Della will wand both of you very quickly. Zoom, zoom. All right. Wow. Seven for Alright. Wow.

Seven for you. Eight for Lexington. Well, she's out of my life. Another Michael Jackson song. Yeah. Alright. Talk to me. There's a lot of shit that went down. A lot of loud noises. You got one body outside the tent. One body inside the tent. You don't have to worry about that one.

What are you going to do? Let's drag it in. Drag it in. That's exactly what it is. It's like, let's quickly... Drag it in. Drag it in. All of you, like... I'm low.

With a steel hand. Blood leaking out of her stomach, out of her head. Still nighttime, though, right? Still nighttime. Yeah. You pull the bodies into the tent. Horseshoe-sized table. Gruesome.

One bookcase knocked over. It's got the body of the Marsh Giant laying on it. Della's gonna take a little drop of demon's blood. Della takes a little dose of the demon's blood. Okay. Della, uh, may I

have some? I'm at four hit points. I'm a little concerned. You seem to be... Do you have an addictive personality, by the way? I don't know what that means, but I am very, very, very weak. Are you sure you want it?

Absolutely, yes. Okay, I'm just saying. Baron, Nestor, you guys hear this conversation too. All right, so Del will anoint Sir Will. Nestor's laughing he's not so bad it's not so bad no feels good doesn't he and dela is then going to walk over to the body of uh the uh what's her face the oculus the oculus and she's gonna is there an empty vial or flask around that she could grab? Sure. She's going to take it and she's going to take it with her

scimitar, cut her throat open and collect a pint of her blood. Gross. You walk over. First of all, I'm amazed that you just did that to Sir Will after he begged you not to do that again. But then he told me again, do it.

But it was that simple. He said, no matter what, don't give it to me again. And you did it. Am I the only one amazed by that? Listen, I'm pretty. He's giving very mixed messages. I actually thought that Joe was role-playing as Umlo during that,

because his voice was a little different. I thought maybe he was being ums. It just blows me away. He was like, do not, no matter what, give it to me. That was pretty clear. And then he was like, Della, can I get some of that?

Sure, no problem. I asked him, are you sure? Are you absolutely sure? It's very, very interesting. I'm just very, very interested. Of course I'm sure. You go over to the

marsh giant on the ground and you reach for a broken piece of glass. It was like an empty flask. An empty flask to cut its neck? I want to just collect its blood. She has knives. Well, I'm asking.

Oh, you weren't trying to... I thought you were breaking... She's trying to collect the blood. I'm just trying to be clear. I thought you were taking the broken glass to slash its neck. No, no. I used a scimitar to slash its neck

and collect a pint of blood. Troy's been in too many bar fights. Roll a perception check. Oh. Twelve. Twelve. You go over there to do that, and the marsh giant disappears. Goes invisible.

Why? We'll see you next week. What? What the fuck? Oh, no! I hate it when some people do that! God, I don't know what the fuck oh no I hate it it was a police what god

even with their fucking dead they do it let's get put that glass down fuck it's a knife it's a knife

it's a knife it's a knife it's a knife it's a knife it's a knife it's a knife it's a knife it's a knife

it's a knife it's a knife it's a knife it's a knife Outro Music