The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 96 - Tent of a Woman 2: Payback's a Witch

Episode Date: March 28, 2017

After a ferocious near-deadly battle, the mysterious, self-proclaimed Oculus rises and all hell breaks loose mere steps away from the Cathedral! For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast.

All of a sudden, the room goes dark. The oculus rises. This is going to be so bad. And to defeat her, the heroes must make a choice. You have made a terrible mistake. You've doomed us all. That will threaten the very ties that bind them together. Shut up.

I'm tempted to just kill you right now. The adventure continues. Did everything just change, or am I looking at a different show? No. Hey, it's Matthew, and I have to intro this episode, which I don't even know how to do. I don't. I went into this episode thinking one thing was going to happen, and then a couple of things happened. So, I mean, I don't even know how to talk about it, really. I don't.

I've tried, and I failed. So we'll talk about it after. How about that? So you can email us or tweet us or, you know, whatever you want to do. And then one of the other guys who's allowed to be on Cannon Fodder'll answer your questions at some later date um yeah anyway i'm just wasting time here and there's a whole episode on the other side of this so let's just get to it okay so here it is episode 96 tent of a woman to paybacks a witch it always feels like guys it's not repeating.

There's no problem with your podcast. This is 96. It really is 96, everybody. I just kept listening to that first part over and over again. I could have listened to you guys riff Michael Jackson titles all day. So stupid. I went on YouTube this week and I watched that Rockwell video. It's really, really horrible. Remember? Yeah. Can't recommend it enough. That's stupid. I went on YouTube this week and I watched that Rockwell video.

It's really, really horrible. Remember? Yeah. Can't recommend it enough. It's just him and his house. Right. Him and his house, like, complaining, basically. Yeah. He's got terrible...

He just kind of talks through the song. There's something... He's like Richard Simmons. He's a shut-in now. Oh, Richard Simmons. Isn't Vincent... Isn't Vincent Price in that, too? Or no, I'm thinking of Thriller.

Yeah, Thriller. He's in Thriller. Yeah, Thriller. He's in Thriller. Yeah, Richard Simmons, there's a story going around that his housekeeper is keeping him hostage. It's like brainwashed him. He has dementia. Yeah, there's another part. There's, in fact, a podcast about all this. There's a whole podcast just about the state of affairs of Richard Simmons?

Yeah, it's going to be amazing. It's really good. I listened to the first two episodes. It's an old friend of his that has been trying to contact him. And he interviews all of Richard Simmons' old friends, and it's wonderful. Why are you guys listening to the Glass Cannon podcast? Matthew, what's this called? Let's give them a free plug so they'll stop listening to our show.

What's it called? Like Missing Richard Simmons? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Why are our Patreon numbers going down? I mean, fuck that show. Poor Richard Simmons. Rest in power. He's still alive

So you guys You make it into Menderhall's Valley Yeah, you find this gate You see the cathedral You have your midnight run To get To get under the poop chute And then you climb up to the plateau

You see a tent We got this. Stealth Baron. Stealth Nestor. Nail the stealth. Surprise this marsh giant witch crazy powers, who knows what's going on with this crazy woman. She says she has the oculus.

She's stormborn, and there's a storm coming to Galarian, and that she will take you out in the name of the storm tyrant. A battle ensues. Let me try that again, Joe. Shut up.

Shut up. A battle ensues. And it gets ugly. But you guys are holding your own. The invisibility is brutal. She goes invisible. Maybe she's healing.

Maybe she's doing this. Cone of cold. Lightning bolt. And then all of a sudden, gunshot alerts old rotter blood freckle. What a charming woman. Disgusting, overly pregnant hill giant. Be speckled. What does it mean to be overly pregnant?

She's ready to burst burst I'm not just pregnant I'm more than pregnant I'm overly pregnant that's too much pregnant for me covered in blood bespeckled in dried

blood freaks blood freaks blood freaks Robert Freaks blood second in command of the starship Jonathan

Jonathan Freaks Robert Freaks is my friend who listens to this podcast. Oh, hey, Robert. You just gave him a shout-out. Hey, Robert, you're my man. I didn't know he made XO. Yeah, number one.

I just got caught in a loop. Blood flakes. Blood flakes. She's covered in blood. Right. She comes charging in. Can't get far enough. Sir Will ducks in.

Shared defense. Umlo's like, I got this. Comes out, braces. Gets her right through her baby maker. And then she proceeds to almost crit and murder Sir Will, were it not for the magical shield his mom got him on his 16th name day

his mom unbelievable turn of events finally yeah by the way i was thinking about it and honestly without those blocks even probably especially the second one will might be permanently dead i mean on regular damage he went to negative 12 oh yeah i mean the second the second crit was normal damage, and I rolled that for you anyways and wouldn't have hurt you. But that first crit was double damage. I believe it was double damage. 1d3 strength and con drain,

and a DC 29 fortitude save, or you lose your right hand. Oh, my gosh. Insanity! That is the worst crit card I have ever seen. Not worse than the capitation. Right, because at least you still live, but this might be a fate worse than death. That's humiliating. That's humiliating. We have a steel hand. We have a magical steel hand. We have a crustacean.

I'm low can hear you. Oh my gosh. Stublow. So, you... Oh boy Riffing and raffing over here Finally Nestor Dispatches with the Oculus

Or so you think Comes outside Boom Crits for the 19th time In that combat Kills Rotter Blood Freckle

Now what do you do? Drag this body in That takes a few minutes for the 19th time in that combat, kills Rotter Blood Freckle. Now what do you do? Drag this body in. That takes a few minutes. Of course, Della goes straight to Demon's Blood. Sir Will asks for Demon's Blood. Again, Della, without giving it a second thought. I asked him like six times.

I even thought that he had an addictive personality after he told her you're an enabler please Della don't do that please Della don't hurt him please Della don't do that

maybe he said twice you sure you sure alright gives the demons blood and then Della in a

continued act of pure evil announces you don't know that announces to the group and I'm gonna cut continued act of pure evil. Announces to the group, I'm going to cut this thing's neck open and put some blood in a jar. I got an idea. Goes over there, rolls a 12 on the

perception. If you'd roll a little bit higher, you would have noticed her chest heaving up and down, that she had started breathing. Because in all the time that it took for you to drag the body in, anoint yourself and Sir Will, get shit together,

she was slowly regenerating. Hit points. And then, when you came over, she goes invisible. What's everybody's hit points at? Walk me through. Who's playing Um hit points at? Walk me through. Who's playing Umlo today? I'm at 35.

Big Baron? I'm Umlo. I'm Umlo. 35 for Nestor. Okay. Baron? Baron is at 78 hit points, and Umlo is at a gentleman's four. Gentleman's four.

Della? 51. 51. Gentleman's five. Pardon me. Gentleman's five, okay. It was a cartoon hand I was counting on. Right, right. Gentleman's five. Pardon me. Gentleman's five. Okay. It was a cartoon hand I was counting on.

Right, right. I was missing one of the singers. It's a Simpsons hand. Yeah, exactly. I'm so sorry. Sir Will and Lexington. Sir Will is at 24, and Lexington is at five. Okay.

Another cone of cold kills at least three people in this row. Yeah. Roll for initiative. Oh, my God. Better start burning those healing spells. Oh, man. I'm going to be the weird white guy. Roll for initiative.

Roll for initiative. All right. Oh, man. This is going to be so bad. Wow. This is another podcast first. It only took 96 episodes to have the combat completely repeat, but now the party is down to nothing.

It is very like a Wicca, like you guys mentioned last week. Who's over 20? 26. Good boy, Nestor. Umlo hit 20 exactly on the nose. He beat Baron out on an initiative. And what does he have, a minus four to initiative? Plus two.

Plus two. So Umlo's next. Baron, what do you get? Baron only got a 12. Oh, Della? Umlo has a 19. A scoundrel's 12. Scoundrel's 12. 19 for Della.

Sir Will. 8. Oh my. Everyone, with the exception of Baron, Della's okay. But you know how fast things can turn. Not in a great hit point situation. Now you know this creature has burned off some spells, some big spells.

But you don't know what level creature this is. First of all, second of all, since when does a marsh giant cast these kind of spells? What is going on? And this is a very... And regenerate. And regenerate. And also, this is a very unique situation

here, because it is round one of a new fight. But I would, I think you would all agree with me tactics have to drastically change if you want to keep people alive I don't agree with you though about something being very unique because by the definition of uniqueness it means one of a kind

so there are no degrees of uniqueness I want your bottle cap back already spent it jokes on you well didn't she say something about being thunderborn? Stormborn. Stormborn. So, I mean, I think there's different giants that... Did we run into a Jotunblood giant

at one point? Yes. Jotunblood Cyclops. The Cyclops was Jotunblood, yeah. So I think there's some kind of infusion of power giants can get, and this might be another kind of example of that. Very interesting. Well, tactically speaking, seeing what she did last time,

we have to split up. Like, that's the main thing. We just have to spread out and not be in a line and not be in a cone. Yes. So we've got to just run. Run. I'm going to hold you guys to where you're standing in the room when you pushed all your pawns into one cluster.

But tell us by yourself. Where is the giant? Oh, the giant went invisible. We don't know where it is. Giant went invisible. Holy moly. Alright, round one. Oh, doggy! Might as well be round eight or nine. What did we get done last week?

Nestor coin. Nestor.... Nestor. How high is this horseshoe-shaped table here? It is five feet high. All right. I'm going to double move and get on top of the table. Okay, double move. That's fine.

So not a big jump up there. All right. Interesting. Very interesting. Question for Della. That web, does it have a time limit From last week? I believe it's a 10 minutes old level

Oh, but you can dispel it I can dispel it You think when you came back in the room You were like, alright, let's get this thing out of here We can search the place Let's just work around it I mean, obviously you could be like, no, I left the web there We don't need to look in those locations

We definitely had a few minutes. Yes, that's how I was able to regenerate. And actually, I mean, we would have been searching the room during that time also because otherwise we're just waiting for the demon's blood to fully work its magic. So otherwise we're just standing around. Right, right, right. So I don't know if we want to wait. I figured people were, like, tending to their wounds and stuff.

We had to drag that giant body in, so Della might have been like, you know, let's get the web out of the way so we can get the body in here. Right, right, right. For sure. Well, I mean, I promise you this. Whoever lives will be allowed to search the room. That is my promise to you guys,

and I don't care. I think it's fair. Umlo, played by Grant Berger. Umlo says, In today's episode, the part of Umlo will be played by Grant Berger. You know, this reminds me of the time at the Wheeling Wench when the food critic came back in again after giving us a terrible review in the local paper.

That fat sow. God, I gotta make sure she never leaves again. He goes to block the door. Oh, Baron goes to block the door. Umlo. Umlo goes to block the door. We're both dwarves. We all look alike. All right. Umlo. Umlo goes to block the door. We're both dwarves. We all look alike.

All right. Della. Still floppy arm? No, that's come back, too. That's certainly come back. Can I roll a knowledge check to see? Because I saw her body, right? Saw the body.

She's right in front of me. Yep. Can I roll a knowledge check to see if it was regeneration? What might have happened? What would I logically conclude? Yeah, roll a knowledge arcana. 20. Regeneration.

Okay. For sure. How else? You guys knocked it out, thought it was dead. What is regeneration? Is that a spell? Or is that like a racial ability? It's not fast healing, right?

No. Roll A. You know, it's like a... I think it's a racial ability. She didn't cast something on herself, is my question. Right, no. It's like fast healing, but it's different. Okay.

I don't know if it's racial or not. No, I got it. Anyways, it's regeneration. You win. That's your turn, right? The standard action? Yeah, my free action turn. Della is going to spend the standard action? Yeah, my free action turn.

Della is going to spend the standard action to light the scimitar on fire. Nice. And then she's going to move to the back corner of the room. All right, Della, knowing what's up with the regen situation. And she'll call out that she regenerated. Give me role play. She regenerated! I rolled a really good knowledge check! Sorry. Break the fourth wall. I didn't have anything. That's why I wanted you to do it. Give me roleplay. She regenerated! I rolled a really good knowledge check!

Break the fourth wall. I didn't have anything. That's why I wanted you to do it. Alright, Matthew. Or should I say, Della. It's up to you. All of a sudden. If it's been seven minutes, I still have the long arm.

You tell me. No, no long arm. You tell me. No, no long arm. You're pulling this body in. You're thinking, let me just leave this one arm really long while I wrap the rest of it around this body. You might need a music change for this, Joe, because all of a sudden, the room goes dark. Oh, darkness. Jesus. The whole tent just...

All light extinguishes from the tent. You just hear breathing. Now, if you have darkvision, can you see through the spell? If you have a question that Troy doesn't know, does it stop the podcast? It goes from dim light to darkness. doesn't know, does it stop the podcast? It goes from dim light to darkness. Creatures with light vulnerability

or sensitivity take no penalties in normal light. All creatures gain total concealment. Creatures with dark vision can see in an area of dim light or darkness without penalty. So darkness, you can still, I mean, dark vision, you can see everything. No dark vision, I think

that's going to be Sir Will and Nestor and Lexington. Right. For Lexington's first bite attack that he's not going to do. Tent goes dark. Picture that. All lights extinguish and it is

Baron's turn. Man, so you can see Baron's turn. Man, so he can see. Baron's going to continue the strategy of spreading out away from the area of effect spells and he's going to move towards

the left side of the tent from the entrance. Left side of the tent towards the entrance. And he of the tent towards the entrance. And he's going to ready an action. Should the oculus become visible, he is going to spend his last grip point and get up close and deadly. Okay.

Actually, he's going to target the feet of the legs of her. Okay. So is that still a grid point? Yeah, that is. I spend a grid point. And you can ready a grid point at action, right? That's like a standard action. I think so.

I'm fine with that. Yeah, you can't ready a full attack, but that's okay. Sir Will. Sir Will is... He's standing next to Lexington, so when it goes dark, he can't see anything, but he knows Lexington's right next to him. So he's going to attempt to fast to Lexington So when it goes dark he can't see anything But he knows Lexington's right next to him So he's going to attempt to

Fast mount Lexington As a free action Okay And does not, then fails So it's a move action So he still gets up on Lexington Lexington's not in great shape either, right? Lexington has three hit points

Or something like that Oh no, he's a little higher than that Five He's fine Oh, he's a little higher than that. Five. He's fine. Oh, he's fine. He's fine. That'll survive. Speaking of which, I don't think it's going to do much for Lexington, but definitely for Sir Willie could make the difference between life and death on a cone of cold, so I'm going to channel.

Positive. Positive. Do you get everybody or am I excluded from that? I get everybody but Della. And I get her, too, actually, because I don't have selective channeling. So if she's within 30 feet of Sir Will, you don't have to tell us, but just know that. Well, I'm going to tell you something else instead. You go to Fast Mountain Lexington.

Can't get up there. Move action to get up there. What do you pray to Yomadai? Yeah. Yomadai, preserve us! You go to channel. Nothing happens. Dimension? You son of a bitch.

Oh, no. Sir Will has lost his paladin abilities. No. Oh, God. No. What was that? Joe's very angry at me. Oh, no.

That's my standard action. That's my standard action. That's my standard action. Yeah. Holy moly. Who's next? It sure is. Round two, Nestor. Darkness, indeed.

I'm going to move along the oh no never mind I can't see I'm just going to ready an action if I see her I'm going to take a shot imagine how this is working out everybody's just like where is she especially the people that can't see in the dark oh my god

I'm trying to imagine what's going through Will's head right now you better start googling Umla's going to hold his action and brace just the tent flaps of the door. He doesn't think she can, like, you know, he's standing there. He's ready in case she goes past him. He's going to whack him. Is he bracing or just bracing?

Yeah, bracing. Okay, bracing in case she comes swooping down at him. Because you guys know that she can fly. Della. Della is going to cast dancing lights. There we go. How appropriate of Della to cast

a dancing spell. These kids and their discotheques. So you have four lights just leap out of her hand and just spring up and illuminate the room. And that should be enough to add light to everyone, I believe. Because you can put those I think you can space those out pretty well, that that's going to at least create dim light.

So that's going to give now, if she appears, 20% missed chance. A lot better than 50 for Sir Will and Nestor. But I think Sir Will has a lot more to deal with than that. It is the Oculus' turn. Nestor, roll a will save. do we get our readied actions or is she visible she'd be yeah so we did this last time right she becomes visible to kill or is it when you cast the spell on someone they become visible you know what i mean like it's the casting time invisible and then you like as soon as you as soon as the effect goes out, you become visible?

Yeah, I think we did it wrong last time. She should have got the spell off and then you attack. You know what I mean? It's not like... That makes sense. She can get it. I guess the more important thing, it has a casting time of one round. So this won't happen until next round.

Okay. Right. Casting time one round. But then she's making sounds if it has a verbal component. But we can see... Well, yeah, so she's making sounds. Yeah, so I guess when she... When she appears...

I'm so confused. When she appears next round, they get a shot off. Or they can take... I think they should be able to take a 50% mischance shot now where they hear her if they want to interrupt the spell. I'm fine with that. If you want. Yeah, because I don't think I would hold my readied action another round.

Do you know what I mean? I would rather just wait for her to become invisible and take my full attack action in the initiative order. Does that make sense? Yeah, next round. So I don't want to keep on holding my action to be able to take one standard attack at her. I want to be able to take a full attack after she does a full turn. I've already tipped my hand now that it's a one-round spell, so it changes things. But anyway, so Oculus' turn.

Nothing happens. Well, are you guys going to take shots? I'm going to take my shot. Yeah, you hear him. Yeah. 21. 21. 21. Or 22.

22 misses, Baron. 29 against Dutch AC. All right, so you guys, boom, boom, fire off. Are you close enough? 50% missed chance. Well, I don't know where she is. So if it's out of my first 20-foot range increment, it is 27 against regular AC, so it should hit either way. All right, roll first.

Yeah, roll. Yeah. 63. Nice. Yeah. Good shot. Really good shot. Just imagine everyone is just pointing every which way, waiting for it to appear, and then Baron's just like, boom.

I heard something. Up close and personal, right? Yeah. What'd you get, Baron? get baron oh no i targeted the legs so this is gonna be great okay so this is 11 points of damage it's regular uh damage and then targeting the legs is great because on hit the target is damaged normally and knocked prone but she's flying. Oh, is she flying? Yes. Okay, then. I said I would target the legs. I'm going to stick with it. She's fine.

And so a DC 21 concentration check or lose the spell. Fail it. Natural one. Oh, jeepers. Just made it. 23. You said 21? Yeah.

Okay. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. Oh, man. That would have been brutes. All right. So now Baron and Nestor move in front of the Oculus. Right. Okay. Sir Will. Oh, no! Oh, man. That would have been Brutes. All right, so now Baron and Nestor move in front of the Oculus. Right. Okay, Sir Will.

Oh, my God. Sir Will. And where did Baron fire at? Where in the room did he fire? Well, we all heard where. Yeah, that's true. It was all coming from the center of the room. Up.

Up. Like hovering in the center of the room? Yep. Hovering up at the center. Like a boss would do. in the center of the room yep hovering up at the center like a boss would do okay uh sir will talk to me talk to me um and don't just look at me like you're mad talk to me sir will is mad i'm looking at you like sir will um yeah he's baffled right now he has no idea what's happening uh i think i think i'm just gonna take another round i'm just gonna take another round oh because like i can't like i can't imagine in one round he'd be like okay now i know

what i need to do tactically like he just tried to channel for the first time ever he wasn't able to right so i think he's going to spend another round channel trying to channel trying to lay on hands you know like this is really like just really shocking yeah hit the bat like replace the batteries like backing up against the wall. Maybe I just prayed a little wrong. Try it again. Right, you try it again. Fails again.

And fails again? Yeah. Yeah. I want to pull Sir Will out of the game system that is Lexington and just blow on his bottom. It's very dirty. That's very dirty. Round three. Umlo at the door.

Umlo going to stay at the door right now? Sir Will kind of likes it. Round three. Umlo staying at the door? Upon seeing where approximately she was based off of the

sweet dwarven teamwork that has got to be there, he's going to stand under where he thinks she is and get ready to Alright, so he moves up into the room, stands underneath Renny's in action to stab if you see that. Della.

Damn it. I mean, I was going to cast Glitter Dust, but she's going to become visible at some point. It'll help everyone else. She's going to be too high for Ramlo to hit, but if she comes down a little bit. So if I cast Glitter Dust now, we'll see her outline, and if she becomes visible and goes invisible again,

would it just... She'd just be invisible. So I don't know that it's even worth it. I think she has to do additional concentration checks if we hit her. She could go blind. Yeah, well, there's two benefits to you casting Glitter Dust. She'll be seen so that Nestor and Baron can take a clean shot this round. Because we go before her. Because it goes

Della, Nestor, Baron, Oculus. That's true. All right, that's worth it. So Della will cast Glitter Dust in the area that Baron shot at. Okay, and that automatically hits her, right? Yes, and the dust covers her instantaneously. But she has to do a... DC 15 will.

Right. DC 15 will. She's got great will. 18. Okay, you're not blinded. Okay. But we can see her. Okay, so now you see the Oculus in the center of the room floating.

She's about 25 feet in the air. She's at the top of this tent. Picture this scene. This place, it's got dark, four dancing lights. She's hovering at the top about to rain down hell. And it is Nestor's turn. In the moment that I see her, I'm going to study her again. It's just like, oh, right. She's got that

arrow sticking out of her throat. Same for that. So I'm going to take a full attack. Studied target. Deadly aim. Fuck. 18 to hit. Miss.

Second attack. First hit. Miss. Second attack. Miss on the first one. 25. 25 hits. Okay. So did not get the mini shot, but... 22, five of which is shocking damage. All right, so...

Okay. Okay. Now, do I have to roll concentration for that damage? Yeah. Yeah, because I have to maintain. It's a full round cast. So it's, the DC is... 10 plus the damage taken.

So 27. Yeah. This is going to be tough. She's got great concentration. Come on, Neon. Come on, Ne. Natural 20. This die has been on fire for weeks!

Smilodon! Oculus! Ladies and gentlemen, that's what a liar sounds like. Rotterblood Freckle. All right. But Baron, you've got a chance to interrupt it now. Baron, you said 25 feet up in the air, so that's out of my first range increment. Seemed hard to hit when we first killed her.

So I'm going to move up onto the five foot table. Okay. And I'm going to take one good shot at her. Alright, you hop up on the table. Call it a move, Axe. Nice. Hit. 13 points of damage.

13 points of damage, and now I've got to roll a DC 23. Do you have more attacks? No, because I moved. 13 points of damage. 13 points of damage. And now I got to roll a DC 23. Do you have more attacks? No, because I moved. Oh, that's right. 13 points of damage. She lost the spell. Oh, yes! She lost the spell!

It's going to be impossible for her to get a spell off unless it's like one action. All right. So now it's her turn. Maybe she shouldn't summon then. It's going to be impossible for her to get a spell off unless it's like one action. All right. So now it's her turn. Maybe she shouldn't summon then. It's her turn. So she will now cast a spell that has one action. She will cast Scorching Ray. She's going to do two Scorching Rays.

One at Baron. One at Nestor. So I believe you guys just get hit by it, right? No, it's a ranged touch attack. Oh, it's a ranged touch attack. Okay, let me just... There's no save for it. No save.

Alright, so, Baron, to hit touch AC. 18. That's a big old miss. Wow, alright. Because of defensive training. I'm a big old miss. Wow. All right. Because of defensive training. I'm assuming it's giant subtype.

And then Nestor it is. Nestor, it's going to be 17 against touch. That's a hit. All right. So Nestor gets hit by the Scorching Ray. I guess the other one just goes away, right? And it's dodge bonus. So Baron just moves his shoulders just a little bit and goes right over his shoulder. Yep, it's

the rays must be fired the same or different targets, but you get a roll both times. Alright, so Nestor gets hit. Twelve and four is two. Eighteen points of fire damage. Scorching ray.

Oh, I'm in rough shape. Nestor is in rough shape. Just have Sir Will channel. Ow! Stop! It's not funny. Sir Will, you're up. You did this to yourself!

God, this is awful. What a jerk. Maybe you could do lay on hands. Cast a first level paladin spell. Stop it. God. Smite evil. Smite evil?

Any other paladin jokes? A paladin walks into a bar and says, no thank you. I'm a paladin and walks out. I'm just completely baffled. I don't know how to play my character. I will I will

use a wand of cure light Light Wounds on myself. Wand of Cure Light. I'm sorry. Yes, on myself. That I will allow. That I will allow. Well, you have to. Well, no.

I mean, he could say that since you lost your spellcasting abilities, that you would have to use a magic device. Oh, right. Actually, yeah. That's right, Skid. Why don't you roll a use magic device on that Cure Light Wounds run? So you drop Roselight, and then you pull out the wand. What's the DC?

Then you... Use magic device. You guys have... I've never had to use it before. I have my... I'll just roll a die. It'll be low anyway. It's actually complicated.

Yeah, fail. I rolled a four. Good. Move along. Sir Will. Nothing happens with the wand either. Yep. be low anyway. It's actually complicated. Yeah, fail. I rolled a four. Good. Move along. Sir Will. Nothing happens with the wand either. I'm cursed! Sir Will has no magic.

Round four. Umlo. You see her. You gotta get up on that table. I'll get up on that table. You know what? Mama always told me, when there's a table in front of you, God opens the window when the door closes. That's a weird bit of advice. Your mom, man. I'm a strange advice.

You know what? You know what? Don't talk about my mother. She's not really your mother. Okay. Within 15 feet on top of the table from there. Does that work? Okay.

A quick stab. I believe the first attack is a plus nine. I'm new to this whole umbrage thing. You only get one attack, so. Yep. Yep. I'm not an ignoramus oh 18 27 to hit that is a hit oh this is how you unload now

d10 plus 2d6 right um that's 13 points of damage. Della, you're up. Can I do a knowledge check? What do you want to check? What is she? It would be knowledge planes. Do you know anything about planes, Della? Della happens to know a little bit about planes. Luckily. But you know what Matthew doesn't know anything about?

Rolling. Yes, yes. And that will continue. I rolled a 2. Oh, my God. So 13. I've never seen anything like this Get out of here with that poop And again that was a standard action

So next turn It's like you're sitting next to a cooler or something in Vegas Exactly It's like when William H. Macy came and sat down next to you And is fucking up all of your luck He actually is sitting here right now He's really quiet And he's fucking invisible!

I hate invisible William H. Macy! No, Gene, no money! They say whenever at least two people gather, William H. Macy's spirit joins the room. Well, if we say it three times, it'll show up. So let's say it again. Such an absurd joke. All right, Della, what are you doing?

Della's going to magic missile to start. All right. Do me a favor before you count those die. I roll three ones. Roll spell resistance. Oh, it sounds like a... I love that. I love that.

No one will hear that. 21. 21, you pass spell resistance. All right, well, not that it matters. I think that's the first spell you guys have put on her, I hope. Yeah. Glitter dust. Six points of damage.

Yeah, glitter. Yeah. I don't know if glitter dust has, I hope. Yeah. Glitter Dust. Six points of damage. Yeah, Glitter. I don't know if Glitter Dust has... I think it's Spell Resistance now. Eleven points of damage. Okay. And then that was three ones of four. And Del will run up and get up on the table next to her. And start dancing topless.

All right, Nestor. I had to take a third inch. Glitter Dust does have Spell Resistance. We talked about this before. It happened in the Wigafight, but we decided that since the dust, the invisibility removal effect is just a physical effect of the dust being there, that that would make her invisible. The spell resistance would apply against being blinded. Right, right, right. Actually, spell resistance, no, on Glitter Dust.

Oh, really? It says C text. Oh, yeah. So it probably was Skid's text. That's probably what it is. It says C text. It says C text. What part it probably Oh well that's That's probably what it is It says C text It says C What part of C text Don't you understand?

Alright I'm going to Many shot do full attack Okay Fucking 19 God damn it 19 misses Second attack

Miss How does she have So many hit points? Yeah really Did you just start her over? At max? She did regenerate for like seven minutes. You do yours, Sir Will.

I'll do me. I'm angry. One round is six seconds. Regeneration five, I think a few seconds passed by during that time. Nestor did bring her very, very low, but as we've learned from regeneration, the only way to end it is with fire. Good thing Della used magic missile. Baron, you're up. She's out of range of burning hands.

I've been drawing little triangles to do Pythagorean theories all night. Look at this nerd with his triangles. I was like, all right, Della's almost six feet tall, so her hands would be about three feet tall. She's up on the five-foot table. No, she's still too far away.

Will you guys let me know later what Matthew just said? Baron, you're up. Nestor's having trouble. You gonna be able to do it? You're within your touch AC range. Let me get the good dice. Sorry, guys, off mic. I know it's unprofessional, but we're back on mic. We're hearing the

beautiful tones of my voice. Shut your mouth, Matthew. Grant with dice is like a popcorn maker with the lid off. It's just like shit flying everywhere. Just shit flying all over the place. Each of the popcorns is like a metal pellet. It's like...

I'm like bubbles from the wire right as he gets a fix on me. Alright, here we go. First attack is... Another natural 18! Alright. 18 points of damage. 18 points of damage.

17 on the die. 12 points of damage. Hit. Well, let me have you tell me if a 21 hits against touch AC. It does. 11 points of damage. And she falls to the ground keep shooting her the ground burning answer

as soon as another seven oh no she hits the ground it was her turn her next move was to blind one of you permanently don't like I've been there would be great just letting you know that it would be great just letting you know that I was going to roll a d4 to see who she decided to

blind if it was Sir Will no paladin abilities and blind one could say he's already blind to God yeah

blinded well it's Sir Will's useless turn what do you got Jesus Christ Sir Will is starting

just starting tip of the iceberg to understand what's happening here. And enraged, tears in his eyes, he sees her hit the ground and he's just like, like screams crazy and charges at her while she's down with Rose Light and goes to attack. Coup de Grace? You hit her with the wand? Oh. No, with the longsword. You can do it.

Wand offhand. You can do a coup de grace. She's helpless. You're holding the shield and the wand in one hand? So it is charged. I'm going to charge. I get double damage if I hit. Critical threat.

Natural 19. Wow. Natty 19. So. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Critical. Natty 19, so... Critical! Critical! There we go. Thank you, Nick. Natty 18! Wow!

That's gonna be a confirmed crit. Your sword does fire damage. Let's hope. Let's hope. Okay. Missing ear. Normal damage and one charisma drain. You cut off her ear. Yeah.

Minus four penalty on perception check. Oh, no. Now she's ugly. The worst thing that could have happened. Cruelest thing. Wow. Yeah. Let's see.

Does. Nine points of damage. Okay. No, I'm sorry. Ten points of damage. Ten points of damage. Okay. No, I'm sorry. Ten points of damage. Ten points of damage. Uh, alright. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Little regeneration.

Round five. Umlo. Umlo, uh, is going to take it from the top rope of the wrestling ring. And he's gonna jam Hardspit right into her chest. He's gonna do a jimmy, super fly snooker. I'll allow it.

Okay. Hardspit is taller than Umlo. Give yourself a plus one to attack. You're on higher ground. And she has a minus four to AC. Natural 17. 27 to hit. Oh, yeah.

That'll hit. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Umlo says, to hell's heart, I stab at it. Okay. I think you need to reread Moby Dick, Mike. That is ten points of damage. Alright.

And now, Della, take it home. Let's do a little Burning Hands, shall we? There we go. Want me to even roll? Nope, Della burns it. She was already... How much damage do you think? Minimum damage.

It's 5v4. It's 5v4, so... Minimum damage would take her exactly at her negative comm score. Yay! Burn the oculus. I see what you did there. You took Matthew's rolls out of the equation so he didn't just fumble and kill himself.

I'm just trying to give him a little extra luck. And as the fire, the magical fire, begins to dissipate, you see the visage of this marsh giant drastically change. Oh. Into an oni. Oh. Wow. Creepy.

Maybe not all of you recognize an Oni, but I'm sure Della and maybe even Baron would recognize an Oni. Or excuse me, Della and Sir Will in their studies of Arcana would maybe notice what an Oni looks like. The Oculus was an Onicus.

Wow. Are Onis from Tianzha? They are demons from the east. From the far east. A demon, sir, Will. Wow. Appropriate. Oh, man.

What do you do? Can Della do the thing she was going to do last time? Sure. Thanks. So Della will grab an empty flask from somewhere around the room and is going to cut her throat with a scimitar and drain a pint into the flask. Well, now you know it's demon's blood.

Oh, yeah, she'll do it twice. You know what? I need a refill. I need a refill. Sir Will, can you hold this one for me? She'll say, Sir Will, are you feeling okay? He looks at her like looks daggers at her. He's like, I told you not to give it to me.

I told you. You also told me to give it to you. I told you no matter what I said. But then you, you're a confusing person. You have made a terrible mistake. You've doomed us all. Now listen, mate, don't blame her. Shut up.

Be fair. He turns to Nestor. Shut up. Well, hey, I don't want to start a fight, but if I did, I'd win, because you clearly don't have your powers anymore, mate. So... Della is enraged by this, I'd win because you clearly don't have your powers anymore, mate.

Della is enraged by this, and she's going to unstop her the flask of demon's blood she just did, and she's going to drink it. The whole thing. She's going to drink it. Oh, Jesus. And cast the spell, Blood Transcription. What does that do? Blood Transcription.

If I drink the blood of a caster within 24 hours of its death, I get to take a spell from its spell list as if I know it, and I can put it in my spell book. Oh, my God. What is your alignment, Della? Chaotic neutral. Chaotic neutral? Taking a step?

I'm making you take a step in your alignment after that action. Chaotic evil? Not chaotic evil What would I go to? Neutral evil That act, maybe it'll wear off by tomorrow But at least right now you are detecting as neutral evil After that action

And after what you did to Sir Will I've never done this in a game I don't think there's even rules about it But you know what? Alignment is something that never gets really tossed around. But you have been heading in this direction. I am anointing you neutrally evil. And Sir Will sees this.

Until I decide that you have changed. Sir Will sees this. She throws down the empty flask. It was Sir Will's feet. What is going on with this party? Listen, I don't want to get between what's happening here, but I have to say, that was the single sexiest thing you've ever done.

Shut up. See, I'll listen too. Baron, this party was really gelling, and now it is completely falling apart. Baron kind of doesn't want to step in the middle and he wants to see what the reaction is. He doesn't want to step in until things get violent. If anyone throws fists,

if it's just words for the time being. Maybe they need to battle. He's going to let them tire themselves out. It's kind of like at football practice when you'd let two guys kind of tussle a little bit. Yeah. So Della and Will... If the pads come off,

coach is in there. Why are you doing this, Della and Will If the pads come off Right. Coach is in there. Why are you doing this Della? Why are you taking us down this path? It's evil. You know it's evil. You sat me down and you said

by any means necessary This is too far. There are innocent people at risk. It's too far. Too far for what? You're becoming like them. You're like her.

You're drinking her blood. And now Look at what she has become. Is this what you want to be? I want to be the thing that stops all of this from happening. By any means necessary. You want to save people? You want to protect people?

You asked for this. I didn't push you. You're right. You're right. But it is a very dangerous road we walk down now. You're right. You're right. But it is a very dangerous road we walk down now. Who knows, if you're able to use these powers to unseat these giants, I don't know that you would not let the power go to your head and use that same evil and that same power that you had grown

to oppress more people. I'm going to be watching you. Know that. You watch whatever you like. Listen, William, I, ordinarily, I would find this all very funny. And it a bit but if I weren't bleeding from

several burn marks and frosts and whatever we do need someone who can bring the healing you know and it's normally you and it seems that he can't do it now so i'd like to advise you to make peace with whatever your god is i can't remember her name but uh oh no yeah that's right well that's colloquialism i don't want to but if you uh i think if you could just uh you know do whatever you have to But if you I think if you could just You know Do whatever you have to do To you know Pray and whatever you've got to do Because please

Because it hurts So Your Condescending tone Is becoming exhausting Now I'm tired of hearing it Think to yourself

Is that something A lawful good person would say? Think Making peace With this is not so simple as you may think I don't I don't know that any of you Deserve To be servants of Yomadai.

I will have to think about this. Do you deserve to be a servant of Yomadai? That's all that matters to me. Clearly I do not. But if I am able to atone for this... But if I am able to atone for this, it is the company I keep that has done this to me. I must rethink things.

Now, I had an uncle in the Five Kings Mountain. Went by the name of Rothgar Ironbeard. And his family was starving. And in order to feed them, he was stealing bread from the baker. Robbing Peter to pay Paul, if you will. When they finally caught him, boy, we do not look kindly on stealing up there. Boy, we do not look kindly on stealing up there. They had a summary trial, exiled him, shaved his beard off. Umlo, you know how terrible that was, how humiliating it was.

He left the Five Kings Mountains, went on a quest for atonement himself, and it wasn't until he took personal responsibility that he was allowed back in these walls. It's not about the company you keep, Sir Will. It's about yourself. She gave it to me! Stop. She anointed me with the blood! You can't control external forces. You can only control yourself.

And until you do, you won't have any peace in this time and Baron walks away and starts rifling through books and they can keep talking if they want but now that we have less healing he's hoping that this alchemist witch person has some stuff that can help us

why don't you help your uncle rather than let him steal bread? Was he an estranged uncle? That's an excellent question. Did he touch you in the nasty place? Oh, was it that uncle? At the time, even though I looked quite a bit older as a dwarf, I was not of wage-earning age at that point, and I myself could not.

Oh. I certainly... And the adults in your family didn't like him. Well, I don't like to speak ill of the dead. Well, we don't have to get into it now. We can explore this later. Holy shit. Did everything just change,

or am I looking at a different show Sir Will goes to channel at the end of the first round nothing he now had demons blood three times I think once unwillingly at the end of the rift rake fight

when Della said I'll show him I'll show him that it's worth it Sir Will got mad and then had a conversation with Della said, I'll show him. I'll show him that it's worth it. Sir Will got mad and then had a conversation with Della and then realized later on, after the fire geode plant episode, after you guys fought the plant and Della almost got taken out by it,

at least Sir Will saw danger there and made amends with Della. It was at that point that the party really felt like it was coming together. But then after the Smilodon fight, Sir Will asked for it again. And then said, do not, under any circumstances, give it to me. It was a moment of weakness. And then Sir Will asked for it again, after this back-to-back Oculus encounter.

And Della gives it to him. Now no Paladin powers. Della then cuts, let me just make sure I'm getting this correctly, cuts open the neck of this Oni, fills a jar with demon's blood

in the middle, in the heat of the argument, drinks the demon's blood to cast blood transcription. That, by the way, was what I spent, I've been spending those arcane pool points on.

It's fantastic, and I'm going to tell've been spending those arcane pool points on. It's fantastic and I'm going to tell you what you can take from the mage. Oni mage. And then I arbitrarily decide this has gone on long enough.

You're neutral evil now until I tell you different. Baron, you're doing the best you can and Nestor in typical Nestor fashion may be just speaking the most truth in the room

but needling and needling and needling and needling while he does it. Let's work on blood transcription first. My head is spinning right now with all the shit that's going on. You want to take her best spell available? I can only take what's on the

mega spell list, so why don't you tell me what? I know. So her top spell was Lightning Bolt. I'm assuming you don't have that. Lightning Bolt was her only third level spell, and it's on the major spell list, so why don't you tell me what? I know. So her top spell was Lightning Bolt. I'm assuming you don't have that. Lightning Bolt was her only third level spell, and it's on the major spell list. Great. Yep. So you now know it for the next 24 hours, and you have time between now and 24 hours to try and learn it in

the... I can copy it into my spell book. Right, copy it. I think you have to roll a check to make sure you do it, and then once you know it, you can learn it like a normal spell. Right. I'm assuming you want the best spell. You could also go for one of her second level spells, Blindness, Deafness. Lightning Bolt sounds more fun. Yeah, Lightning Bolt's always good.

So, you know Lightning Bolt. You know tongues, dude. I know Kung Fu. There's a lot going on in this room. I'm assuming that Baron and Nestor are going to be the ones sort of leading the charge, looking at this stuff. Della, you probably go right back to work because you know you're going to need to spellcraft

and whatnot. There are shelves all over the place, full of various filters. And most of them appear worthless at best, and probably toxic at worst. But a few

magic potions and elixirs can be found on her shelves. And by a few, I mean a bunch. Who can roll Spellcraft? Baron. Sir Will, you cannot. Della can. Okay, roll Spellcraft, both of you.

Roll it once each. I think I can roll Spellcraft. Yeah, he keeps his knowledge. You'll roll it, I tell you. 23 for his knowledge. You'll roll what I tell you. 23 for Del. You're in timeout, Joe. 20 for Bear. All right, you find...

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 10 potion elixirs oils. Wow. An elixirs oils. Wow. An elixir of fire breath. I like that. An elixir of hiding. Ooh, I like that.

An elixir of love. An elixir of vision. Something for Nestor, perhaps. An oil of flame arrow. Uh-huh. Well, I. An oil of flame arrow. Well, I see either one of those. A couple of good potions back to back. Oh, but we can't split it up, right? No.

No, we can. We just have to have all the stuff together. Stuff has to be in one place. A potion of bark skin. A potion of bear's endurance. A potion of pass without trace. Oh. A potion of protection from energy cold And last but not least

A potion of restoration Finally Is Umlo doing the Macarena? I mean Nestor's down two Umlo's down three Poor Umlo He's not gonna get any of it.

Remember that decision. Remember that decision if that's the one. I do think we need to talk about it because role-playing-wise, I'm like... There's so much going on. You guys are gonna need it. Hey, you're controlling him. Yeah.

Grant, man. You can role-play him anywhere you want. Oh, no, don't put this on me. I don't know how to take personal responsibility. You are a dwarf. You have ability drain, and two times it's been healed in front of your face, and you haven't gotten a chance to do it. Go.

And don't forget, in your words, you are on the... And you're kind of Scottish, but kind of Northern, too. Go. Let's have a pint it's good while you're sulking in the corner roll a perception check can I still make perception

or is that gained by my deity that I can no longer you watch out, perception's next 14 god can I make an acrobatics check? Sense motive? That's next

Don't make me take sense motive You lose the power to chew food 14 14 14 That's fine You see a Little

Pill Emanating magic Enough that you like still see faintly, like, you know, faint lines of magic as your powers are slowly fading. You see a little lime green pill next to a bunch of elixirs that look like there could be

curasirius wounds or deadly poisons. It's being held by Lawrence Fishburne. I'll walk up to the pill. Okay. And take it and swallow it and eat it. Oh, wow. That's what I do. Whenever I go to a pharmacy, I just grab stuff at random.

Ooh, pretty color. I guess players will always surprise the GM. All right. Roll six for the chintz. You do not have the ability right now to tell what it is, but you can either hold on to it or talk to them about it. I'm going to hold on to it and not tell them about it. Okay.

You find all this stuff. Very lawful good of you. I think. Baron, what... Not lawful good anymore. What's going on with him? Look, he sees the potion of restoration and i think

it's pretty clear and that's just like finally good i'll take that what does baron say is he fine i'm lost i'd like to drink that i've been uh helping i've been so held down for so long i i know

i know mate but it's not i just haven't felt myself ever since we ran into that naked dying dwarf man you haven't felt yourself i've almost died on five different occasions it's a it's a tough world haven't felt myself ever since we ran into that naked dying dwarf man you haven't felt yourself i've almost died on five different occasions it's a it's a tough world i mean i've almost died as well there's people shooting at me listen i'm normally so much more charming than this you

saw how pissed him i have been chosen by the lineage of steel hand to save this earth. You're gutter trash. Oh, man. Now I'm tempted to just kill you right now. Take the hand and the potion. Is that what you'd like? I am in a moment of weakness and my mic

has been turned down because I shouted. I can barely hear anything. Just take it back to gutter trash. See, if you were trying to charm me, it failed. I have to tell you. So we could fight to the death for it. I mean, I'm more than willing to do that. It's so scary because Nister is so fucking deadly.

Like, how do you argue with him? Now, listen, if you want to be fair, if you want to be nice, I can propose a game of chance. We can, on equal ground, win a take all. I've already sacrificed more than you could

know throughout this journey and I'm used to being bereft of skills and loved ones and if you want to take and take and take as you have always taken you can continue i am as you have so astutely and wryly pointed out negotiating from a point of weakness as i've almost died and bled for you and the rest of this party time after time. So continue to be a taker, which is all that you know how to do. Take lives, take lucre,

and take your ass out of this room. Well, I am glad that you've come to your senses and he takes it and drinks it. Are you curing... My strength. Strength damage. Wow! Man. You should get a bottle cap, though.

Yeah, I'm sorry. It's a bottle cap for Umlo. This is an Umlo bottle cap, the H. Only for ums. Yes, I hit the mic. I got so overwhelmed by that. Everyone should get bottle caps, but just Umlo. Is it 1D6? No, you automatically cure... Oh, great. Okay the mic. I got so overwhelmed. Everyone should get bottle caps. Is it 1D6? No, you automatically cure.

Oh, great. Okay, awesome. I'm just going to repeat that back. Everyone should get bottle caps, but just a moment. But it's just one ability, right? Yes. One ability all the way back, and it cures all permanent negative levels. Excellent.

You know what, though? I'm going to give all of you bottle caps. Yay! I think you guys more than deserve it, and I don't think I've ever done that. Yeah, community caps. I don't even have a fourth one. I just gave Umlo... Oh, here's some caps.

Here. Let's crack another beer. Here we go. Hold on. Joe, how many does this make you at? Is this one total? Well, it's one now, but I'll just turn it in to get all my paladin abilities back. Sorry.

Thanks, dude. It's basically like Bit of Luck, except it only works once. Matthew, how many does that put you at? One. One. Good. That's already too many. Grant?

Three or... No, it's four. Four? You're at four bottle caps? I was at four when you gave me one for the Michael Jackson. Give me that back. Give me that back. All right, so Umlo has one, and you have four.

Yeah. This is ridiculous. Just remember that next time one of you guys dies. Oh, I'm going to hand him out like candy next time. This is two for me. This is two. All right, far too many. These are so powerful.

They're so overpowered. I hate to unbalance the game. I hate them. This printing game. I hate them. This printing is great on this one. Alright. Can we search? Do we need to search her body? Chris, do you have anything on it? I haven't seen it. Yeah, search her body.

There's just so much. And freckle. Blood freckle. We should really do an autopsy and see what's inside. Alright, so let's first search the oculus you don't have to roll perception on I'm just gonna tell you the oculus has nothing of interest on her and the hill giant has nothing of

interest either whatever powers and anybody have knowledge arcana besides Stella already rolled it. I do not. I rolled it to see what she did with the regeneration. That's fine. Try it again. Spend that bottle cap. Right on this roll. 21.

21. 22. She had sorcerer powers as well, so all of her magic was from within. She didn't need wands or armor or anything like this. So, yeah, nothing too exciting. And the only thing the Rotter Blood Freckle has on her is her cleaver, which is not magical. And we searched this room thoroughly?

Yep, yeah. I mean, there are other potions. Like, if you, I don't know, you probably leave Sir Will to himself, but there are other potions there. But it's so foreign and strange to you because they're so weird looking and homegrown. You can't tell if it's a, oh, this could be a,

I think that's a cure spell? Or is that poison? But you can drink it and I'll roll 50-50 to tell you what it is. I'll refrain. Can I just stand in the room with a detect magic? Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, nothing. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'll detect undead

on everything. They're all over the place. Well, Sir Will's not going to be able to do it. So I'm fairly badly, I'm still fairly badly

hurt, so I know other people are. Del like secretly walks, he's like subtly walks over and would you like a little demon's blood? Oh, absolutely.

I've got no problem with it. So she can only do this as a first level spell. I love it. I love it. I can only do this as a first level spell. I'll do it recreationally.

Ten points. Socially. I'll do it socially. Ten points? While they're doing this, I want to distract Will from looking at it. So I'll walk over to him

and say, I saw you had some trouble with that wand. Would you like me to help heal you with it it's a safe yes way to heal thank you and i grabbed the wand from him and i get how many shots do you want how many times you want to roll eight nine tell me when to stop remember when you uh wanted to be a paladin so you'd have someone with a channel ability? Remember that? Oh, boy.

Kicking a will while he's down. All right. You guys came into this room. I know you can tell me what you want to do in a second, but I just want to give you a little idea of the lay of the land. You came up here. You saw two tents.

You didn't see any other people. So you can infer, whoever has the highest wisdom, that probably Blood Freckle came from that other tent. Okay? Other than that, to the left,

the building starts wrapping around and you see the edge of the first spire. Okay? And that eventually, you know, you're not, I'm just telling you you haven't gone over there and looked, but I'm saying it goes all the way until it goes straight into the rock wall. To the front, you saw a front gate, and that's where people

are coming in and out. You don't know anything else because you haven't explored the grounds. You saw two tents, one to the left, one a little farther away to the right. You went to the one on your left. This is where this encounter took place. A couple rounds in, Blood Freckle comes charging up when she hears the gunshot. You also hear, coming from the direction of the cathedral, loud chanting, maybe? Cathedral. Loud. Chanting, maybe? It sounds like it's coming from

that direction. It's so loud, but it's muffled as well, but it's the sound of many, many voices uniting. Did this just start? Now that the heat of battle has ended, you can hear it as everything gets really still. Does it sound like prayerful chanting or does it sound like...

And it wasn't happening like when we were sneaking around the tent? No. Okay. Midnight Mass. No, it could be. What do you do? Well, I think we should heal up a bit more and then go check out the other tent personally. I agree.

I'm way down on spells, so if we run into a big combat, it's going to be pretty dangerous. I mean, do we think that this is as good a place as any to rest? Or we could rest in the poo tunnel. Can we sleep in the poo tunnel?

I mean, it might be safe restful restful night's sleep yeah or do you want to send out scouts and assess what's going on um uh yeah listen you don't hear besides that sound of chanting you don't hear like guards running at you or anything she might have scared away everyone else and this may be why she has her own tent away from the main part of coachella off in the distance we're just selling weed burning man i mean you definitely only saw right now you only see two tents so there might be tents on the other side of the cathedral but on this side of the cathedral it is two tents and then this enormous structure uh well listen i mean baron and i i mean we can go quickly check out, sneak over, check out the tent.

If you give us, you know, get us healed up a bit, come back, report what we see. Okay. How's that sound? And then we can spend the night here. It'd be nice. A little slumber party in the tent. With all the eyeballs? Yeah.

Yeah. Find it rather soothing. It's just like having a bunch of dolls, like when you have to sleep in your cousin's room that has all those blinking dolls. No, it's like my old mom looking down on me from many different angles. Okay, so yeah, I can cast

Cure Lins a couple times and I have the wand. I can't do the metamagic rod with Infernal Healing because I'm out of second level spells. Right, okay. And did Will give me the rod he has to cast UMP on? Okay, so I have a rod, too. Retconning one thing, the hill giant did have a pierced belly button right above her pregnant belly.

Damn right she did. And that belly button has a pearl on it that is emanating magic. Oh. Forgot about that. Spoke up? Yeah. I will just tell you. 22.

It is a pearl of power,. I will just tell you. 22. It is a Pearl of Power third level. Wow. Whoa. That's awesome. All this talk of spells and whatnot, I'm like, oh, yeah. Wow. That would be a... Della would love to have that.

Yeah. Skid, could you let me know what a Pearl of Power third level does? It gives you an extra spell, right? Yeah, I'm going to roll on anything that Della wants to take. Okay. Sir Will is going to roll on anything that Della wants to take. Okay. Sir Will is going to try to keep her power limited. He knows my weakness is rolling. No, she's evil, yeah.

This could be a great way for Troy to expend all the bottle caps he just gave off. By having Will against each other. Definitely use your bottle caps for roll-offs. So we are role-playing this. No, I want it. No, I want it. No, I want it is the result of the dice roll. So go ahead. Okay.

Oh! What's your bonus? Whoa! Cheryl rolled a 12, and Della rolled a lucky evil 13. That's a 12. Wait, you both rolled 12? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was a 13.

No, it's even better. Oh, all right, so I get it. You got nobody. All right, I gave it to you to announce the tie, and you ruined Oh, I thought it was a 13. No, it's even better. Oh, all right, so I get it. You got nobody. All right, I give it to you to announce the tie, and you ruined it. I thought it was a 13. It was a tie! Oh, my goodness.

Yeah. There we go. Wait, does it work with Inquisitor spells, though? Well, you don't have any third-level spells, right? It works for everybody, but it's only third-level spells. Oh, well, I wanted to. The roll-off has ended. Too late. Sorry, Greg. Well, you're going to regret everybody, but it's only third level spells. Oh, well, I wanted to. The roll off has ended. I'm sorry.

Sorry, Greg. Well, you're going to regret that when I exclude you from the haste. Wow, this is making my job a lot easier. Yeah. All right, so Nestor and Baron

want to go check out the other tent. Yeah. Roll of stealth checks. All right. Anybody else want to go? Clunky McGee? What does a Pearl of Power do?

Let you recall a third level spell, I think. 33. Recall one you've cast today. 33 for Baron. Nice. 36. 30. Always out-stealthing me.

Stealthing like a fox. You guys walk up to this tent, and the flap for this one is facing the east. Roll a perception. Skulk up there. Nobody comes up. 16. 26. 26.

You hear nothing in the tent. But now that you're closer to the cathedral, you can see as you skulked around, in addition to the steps leading in to the front where people have been coming through giants one or two at a time, there's also a side entrance right behind this tent. A passed down gate. And the door is slightly ajar, and that's where you hear the...

This is just like Conan! But right now you're at the tent. Take a peek in. I really want to punch a camel in the face. You take a peek in and the earth all around this huge patchwork animal hide tent is stained nearly black with blood. So as you walk in, it's like all stained black. The entrance outside and then when you get inside, the ground is totally black with blood. So as you walk in, it's like all stained black. The entrance outside and then when you get inside, the ground is totally black with blood. There's a blood-stained table

in the middle, fashioned from a thick wooden block, supported by sturdy iron legs, just standing in the center of this longhouse. Wooden buckets, filled with blood and awful, surround the table. Along the edges of the tent run links of iron bar set atop large wooden posts driven into the ground, all along the edges of the tent. And from the bars hang butchered carcasses,

cows, horses, mastodons, and, sickly enough, even Nestor's stomach has to turn a little bit. Humans hanging from the bars. On the table itself is a butchered mastodon whose head had just been sawed off. Looks like Rotter was interrupted while at work. So, what do you think? Do you want to check this out now? Run back, get down, what do you think? I think there's

a chance that she... Do you think she could have been a butcher for these people? That's what it looks like to me. I know butchery when I see it. Let's take a quick look inside and then go back. Let's take a quick look. So where are you looking? Just looking through the... Just looking.

If there's anything between the awful and the... It's pretty awful. I didn't know it could be pronounced awful, but it's awful and awful. It's both. According to dictionary.com. Ophel, awful. All right. You look around, and the only thing that would even be, like, slightly not disgusting to you is half a dozen mincemeat pies that do not appear to be magical in nature.

But she has, like, a stack. Bless my eyes. More supplies. Six min has like a stack. Bless my eyes, more supplies. Six mincemeat pies. So she's like, maybe she's providing, you start piecing things together, maybe she's providing meat for the recruits. Maybe she's providing meat for the higher-ups,

or like meals and whatnot. She's the camp's butcher, but why is she outside the temple? You can't quite figure it out, but she has six mincemeat pies. I really wish that Will had not kept that pill because it might be poison and we might be able to poison all those pies with it.

And unless we saw him take it, there would be no reason for Baron to ask him about it. Possibly too. It's going to be hard for Rotter Bloodforkle to deliver these pies now that she is dead along with her unborn baby. Okay, let's go back.

Sleep in Creeptown. You walk outside and 25 feet away cracked door side door of the cathedral up a small set of steps in here and then it starts raising to a crescendo and you hear like do you want to do anything? Let's look inside I'm just asking I'm going to take a quick look Let's take a quick look

Well should we all go? I mean if it's like this only one chance That this door happens to be open and unattended And we can all slip in We'd have to go back to the tent and then go back So it's up to Nestor and I to decide now I guess Stealthy Let's stealth it up and then go back, so it's up to Nestor and I to decide now, I guess. Stealthy.

Let's stealth it up. I can touch of laws. You can touch of law him. You can't touch of law yourself. If you want touch of law... I can do you if you want. Okay. Do it on you. Just do it on Nestoror and Nestor go alone.

Yeah, okay, that sounds great. I'll do that. So you don't roll. So, yeah, so it's 20 or 30, 30, 34. All right, so you... No, 29, sorry. 29. I'm going to roll for all thousand orcs.

Guys, just give me 20 minutes. Nestor, you walk up to the door, and as you get closer and closer, the sounds become louder and louder of cheering. And you look inside, and again, you don't want to be peeking too far in, but you can see the inside of this massive, massive cathedral. Huge stone benches that are, I mean, as taller than you, all with giants sitting atop them, all manner of giants.

And again, you're just kind of peeking in so you can't see too much, but you do have a clear shot way in the distance of the altar. And as you come up, you see what they are cheering about. They're banging on the ground with spears, clubs, hitting the benches with their fists, and then a regal-looking stone giant steps onto

the dais, greeted by even more cheers. Every giant, and you can see there's probably like some up in the balcony behind you but again you're not getting a great look he uh raises his hands up in the air to silence them he's played by Chiwetel Ejiofor oh and he looks

like that oh wow oh Like that. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Wow. Oh. Whoa. Oh, my. Giant hoop earrings.

He just got his ears pierced at Hot Topics. Yeah. Blue-skinned. Blue-skinned stone giant with the big furs. And he puts his hands up in the air. Chiwetel Ejiofor and the entire crowd. Phew! Silence. He kind of paces back and forth a little bit, thinking to himself,

as everyone just watches on. The second coming is upon us. Oh, believe it, my brothers and sisters. There will be a second coming of giant domination over this world in which our people will again reclaim their place as the rightful rulers of Galarian. And everybody just... And Nestor, your chest is shaking with the sound of the crowd cheering. It almost feels like you're blown back from the door.

He again slowly paces the dais. Like many of you, I came from simplicity, Like many of you, I came from simplicity, but knew in my heart there was greatness in my blood. I was born in the southern Mindspin Mountains to a small tribe of stone giants who believed themselves to be direct descendants of the first race of giants that walked the world long before the coming of the smaller races. As a child, I grew up listening to ancient tales of the coming of the runelords and the great diaspora in which my ancestors fled their homes out of fear of the runelords' horrific rituals which transformed giants into scarred rune slaves. During my adolescent years, I made many forays north into the mountains

that were once a part of ancient Thassilon, and as I grew older, my inquisitiveness turned into obsession. I ventured into Varisia's Iron Peaks to seek out the fabled temple on Minderhall's Anvil, the sight of which overwhelmed me and yet awoke in me a deep conviction where I knew in that moment that one day I must somehow renew my people. There's more cheering and applause, and some of the giants start making like hand signals of a fist and a triangle. Like giant power hand signals. Thereafter, I made annual pilgrimages to this temple seeking to uncover the past and thus build a foundation for the future, our future.

During my visits, I plumbed the temple's vaults for forgotten clues and lost mysteries, fragments of my people's history overlooked by time. I soon adopted Minderhall as my patron, and though I never felt the calling of the priesthood, from that day forward, I pledged my life to become an inquisitor of his faith. More cheers. Ness is chest-shaking. It was not long after this pledge that I uncovered hints of another temple devoted to Minderhall. In a secluded valley in the mountains

just north of my homeland, it was said that ancient giants, even perhaps my direct ancestors, had constructed a tremendous temple known as the Cathedral of Minderhall. He looks all around him. Believing, like all of you believe, that Minderhall's valley belonged by right

to my people, I launched a crusade to rediscover and restore this ancient temple of he who makes and he who unmakes. It was then that my efforts caught the attention of the almighty Volstice.

More cheers. They're like, Volstice! Volstice! Oh, you. They're like, Volstas, Volstas. Oh, you hear Volstas, Volstas, under their breath to each other, these giants. Yes, yes, yes. The wise and powerful storm tyrant saw in me the perfect deputy to recruit his armies. For he knew that I shared his dreams of a giant revolution that would seize the reins of power back from the smaller races and place them firmly in the hands of the giants.

Together, we chosen few will help usher in a new age for giants, an age of giant supremacy and an extinction of all other races. Whatever the cost, a new age for Urafash, a new age for Vulfdas, and a new age for Menderhall. And the place explodes. So much so that the door shuts on Nestor's face. And as Nestor turns around to walk back towards Baron, of everything he just heard, the only thing that strikes him

is when he punched his chest and said, For Urathash! Because it has been the name that has been stuck in his head ever since he was captive by hill giants so long ago. We'll see you next week. Oh! Very sweet. Very sweet. Very sweet. Outro Music