The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 98 - Ettin Down to Business

Episode Date: April 11, 2017

After successfully sneaking into the cathedral, the party faces a terrible threat as more mysteries begin to unfold. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. To power attack or not to power attack. That is the question. Whether to snobbler in my two minds. A fearsome enemy has spotted the heroes. Let me check out this thing's reach. And evil lies in its wake. What a horrible place.

Yeah, this is really depressing. I'm picking the vacation spot next year. But the heroes must remember their mission. All that's important is that we make a difference. It doesn't matter what the difference is. And not give in to anger. Hey, Troy, I never stop being angry at anything. It just kind of simmers down low

and I'm ready to explode, so let's shake me up and see what happens. I see the veins bulging on those biceps. The adventure continues. Should I take it to Clevetown? Should I go to Cleveland? No. welcome welcome welcome back everybody to another episode of the Glass Cannon Podcast. How are you? My name is Joe O'Brien and I am so excited that you have joined us for another installment in our March to 100.

Hashtag March to 100. That's right. It is episode 98. 100 is right around the corner. We are knocking on the door and let me tell you, it is exciting. It is so exciting. Good things to come. So that's why I'm going to zoom through this intro and let you get right to the episode. But first, a couple announcements. On Monday, April 24th, we are going to do our Reddit AMA.

That's the Ask Me Anything that has been lovingly organized by the mods over at our Glass Cannon Podcast subreddit. I strongly recommend, if you don't have a sign-on yet, that you get all set up with Reddit so that you can be there that night. We're starting 8 p.m. Eastern Time on Monday, April 24th, and going straight through till Episode 100 drops at midnight on Tuesday, April 25th. Please join us for questions, comments, whatever you guys want to talk about. We will be there to answer those questions, and we're going to just be hanging out in general. I'm told there will be Facebook Live videos. It's going to be a big hang. You should probably set an alarm and just get up in the middle of the night if you're in Europe, and hang with us. Come on, make it happen. Don't be lame. It's going to be fantastic.

happen. Don't be lame. It's going to be fantastic. Next announcement is GCP Live, which is this Saturday. That's right. Just a few days away, we are going to be setting up and performing for you guys live, recording it, releasing it to Patreon subscribers. It is exciting and completely terrifying. I'm going to tell you a true story. I had a GCP live nightmare like three nights ago, not even exaggerating. Like half the people didn't show up. The equipment did not work. The place was not ready for us. Matthew wasn't even there. It was my friend from high school was randomly the other guy in the show.

And he was like, how do you play Pathfinder? And I was like, oh, my God, this is a complete meltdown. But the more I thought about it, the more I was like, well, if you were there to see that, that would be extremely entertaining. So I guess it couldn't be that bad. Whatever we do, we are going to have a great time. So without further ado, please just let me get you to the episode. It is a good one. It's interesting. There are some interesting things ahead for you this week. So please enjoy

it. Ladies and gentlemen, as we close in on 100, here it is, episode 98. One of the disadvantages of this being a podcast, as opposed to a video that you could see people. You don't get to see the stuff that happens at the table. More importantly, the stuff that happens as we're setting up. And Grant didn't bring his Baron figure today. Nope. So it's like, Grant, can I get your Baron? I want to put him on the map.

And he's like, don't have him. Here you go. And he handed me a little tiny Emmett Smith, former running back of the Dallas Cowboys. At which point, the other three members of the podcast who root for NFC East teams refused to play. Not only that, he was technically a large creature. That was my biggest problem. Covering two squares. Emmett Smith has reach?

Greatest of all time. I had to bring out the big guns today for this poop monster, and I thought, who else takes it to the end zone like Emmitt Smith? It's really sad. He's like standing off to the side alone right now. Don't leave him there. He's watching. He's waiting for us.

He got benched. That dude gets 50 feet of movement speed. Hey, Barry Sanders, where your rings at? Greatest of all time? Me, not you. Yeah, so that was... That's how we started this episode. How's everybody doing?

It's been a while since I've just checked in with the players. Nobody really cares about the characters anymore since they've all gone to shit. Joe, how are you doing oh man terrible yeah terrible i probably shouldn't have started with you no no well we could get me out of the way i

have uh i have very few powers or abilities and i've been spending the time just learning how to what to not look at on my character sheet and And it's daunting. I don't know what's going to happen. Well, the good thing is if you make any mistakes, no one will hold you to it on the internet. Luckily, we have that going for us. See, you should write into Hero Lab and suggest that they make a button for Fallen Paladin. Yeah.

And just boop, and all the powers go. All get grayed out. Just everything. So you just get base attack bonus and stuff. Sure. Yep. Yep. Base attack bonus,

save bonus. That's it. Yeah. That's it. I still have my strength bonus. Good for you. It's a 12. Okay.

Matthew, how's things with you writing new plays this week? He's a regular Tennessee Williams. The time it takes you guys to set up this podcast for you to do six laps around your apartment. Yes, I have. What's it called?

What's the title of your latest play? Your latest opus? Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. I feel like that's plagiarized. Damn it. Actually, titles, with some some exceptions are not copyrighted Oh I thought you were going to say titles are not your strong point

Which you told me in confidence No no I will say it that publicly They are 100% Not at all You can write the play but when it comes to naming it That's not your jam You should just hire Skid to name your plays I'll name the play right now.

You should name it People Having Sex. That does happen in most plays. Right. And then everyone will just show up like, oh, fuck, yeah. So then it all comes to the show. It doesn't matter what it's about.

It's sold out in previews. Yeah. Meanwhile, it's like a Cold War drama. It takes place in an underground bunker. You should just name it the last line that the character says. There we go. That'll be like the last two words. And then at the end we can all go,

Oh. That's the title of the play? That's why it's called Over There. That's the title of our show. You're really rewarding the smart viewers. Grant, what have you been up to? Lifting weights? Lifting weights.

You know, just going down to the beach. Muscle beach. Having a protein shake. Beating Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild on my Nintendo Switch. Oh, you beat it. Almost. He's almost there. Right there.

I have all 120 emblems all leveled up. He's faffing about now. I just want to max out my armor because I want to beat the final boss with like God level. Is it fun for adults, Zelda? I didn't know if that was true. You haven't even seen Jurassic Park. I'm sorry.

That's a legitimate question. Yeah, it is. It's the highest rated game. I saw that. It's incredibly highly rated okay it's actually um are you not a zelda fan i know i i loved zelda i was nintendo i had like the original like before it was nintendo power the uh original um books they would send out whatever they call i can't remember i've been nintendo forever but once i switched to playstation there was no looking

back um but yeah i just i don't know i was like that for a while. Came back GameCube. Wind Waker brought me back in and they are some of the most lovingly made games in the history of time. Well, I appreciate your input and the fact that you are the only one with a Glass Cannon Podcast t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. Yep.

Muscle Beach, they don't let you on if you don't cut your sleeves off first. Muscle Beach. Uses it at the Glass Cannon gym. GTL, GTL. All of the dumbbells are see-through because they look anyway april showers bring grant's guns uh skin what's going on with you i'm good i just got back from colorado that was a few weeks ago though yeah but uh it was fun and i haven't stopped thinking about it are you gonna move there and end this podcast yep is that i that was a rumor i

heard yeah you would just be leaving us and we would have to replace Skid, which is obviously the easiest replacement. I have a whole thing to tell you, but I guess I'll just say it now. Are you going to do a knife? It's over. No. So, yeah, it was great. This is an episode of The Bachelor. I climbed a mountain.

Oh. I guess it was a 10,000 foot mountain. I got to the top of that. Very proud of myself for that. Now, when I picture climbing a mountain, you have to use handholds and stuff? That was a trail. You walked up a mountain. Yeah.

Well, I walked up a hill and came down a mountain. Okay. You're climbing at quarter speed. That's a great title. Ask it for a friend. Yeah. See, there's a title for Matthew. And I bought some weed. I bought some great title. Yeah. See, there's a title for Matthew. And I bought some

weed. I bought some legal weed. How was the experience? It was mind-blowing to walk into a store and buy

marijuana. It was crazy. Well, you're like, I'll take two, please. Yes. It's like, oh, yes.

It's like, would Monsieur like to smell the product? It's like, but of course. Would you smell it for me? I'd like to see.

You should have been really pretentious, like, ah, you called this weed? Throw it back at them. Throw it in their face. But it was funny,

too, because I went, I said on Facebook when I went, like, I went into my old childhood game store and,

bought some dice and everything, and I'm such a loser. Like, I go in, like, I wear my, like,

Glass Cannon t-shirt and, like, I think, in the vain hope that there'll be somebody there who listens to the podcast. They're like,

oh, hey, what's up? Where'd you get that shirt, man? Hasn't happened yet. Just a bunch of dudes in Adventure Zone t-shirts. Right, right. Come on, man. Open your...

But I brought in... I brought some postcards of ours and dropped them off there. So maybe they're listening now. I don't know. Probably not. Well, one can hope. Someday someone from that store will listen to this and they'll laugh.

Yeah. Well, that's all the time we have this week. Oh, wait. No, there's a gigantic creature you guys have to find. Oh, right. Let's take it back. Last week, let me just check my notes here. You murdered in cold blood

two hill giants who, by the way, were good aligned. Good thing we were evil aligned. Oh, did you guys know that? Yeah, they were good aligned hill giants. They were actually infiltrated the fort and we're going to take it down from the inside. Well, we're right on par with Sir Will's storyline. Right. Yep. So, business

as usual. All that's important is that we make a difference. It doesn't matter what the difference is. So after the cold-blooded murders, you guys faced one of the greatest enemies any adventuring party can face. Fleas. Oh, I forgot about the fucking fleas. Oh, I didn't. I got big notes here because I know I'll forget them from time to time.

But yeah, Nestor and Della. How appropriate. They have fleas in their heart and now fleas in their skin. Well, you lie down with dogs and then you wake up. You mate with them? No, you wake up with fleas is that a title

of one of your plays i got really long really want my all my titles to just be old sayings you've seen them all the play um well nestor is also played by flea that's true That's true. So it was foreshadowing when you chose that actor. All right, so you guys have Fleas, and Lexington, I think, has them as well. Yes. Sir Will, Baron, and Umlo are infected, but the eggs have not hatched as of yet.

Don't worry, they will. Let me just roll the D4. Spoiler alert. Oh, tomorrow. And then Nestor listens on this door. He hears plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk, plunk, dropping sound, water. You walk in and you see an enormous Ettin. And when I say enormous, huge in Pathfinder terms.

Look at the size of that pond. I love that pond. I love that pond. Isn't that beautiful art? It's about the same size as the Jotun blood cyclops that we fought. Exactly. I love that pond. I love that pond. Isn't that beautiful art? It's about the same size as the Jotun blood cyclops that we fought. Exactly.

Yep, same thing. Same huge creature. Nestor opens the door. It has awesome perception because it has two heads. Even though it only has three eyes, turns around,

starts rushing at Nestor. Roll for initiative. Oh, baby. We are going right in. All right. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So, was this thing dropping like Vespasides Dukes or like Volkswagens? Like, how big were the Dukes? If you survive this fight, I will let you look at his toilet. Okay, thank you.

That, I promise you, Grant. I do that every time we come over here to record. I just do a quick check. Stop flexing. All right, who got over 20? 21. 21 for Nesta. Anybody beaten Ness?

25 for Bear. Oh! Fetchling? Damn, Fetchling! Della, where you at? 13. Sir Will? 12. Oh, and UMS? Who's playing UMS?

I'm playing UMLO. Oh, Skid's playing UMLO. No, it's like I'm UMLO today. What was UMLO's initiative? That's a good question. It is 10. 10, okay, perfect. It was funny, before we started recording, we were like, who's UMLO? And we started talking and then we never really decided. She's like, perfect. You know, it's funny. Before we started recording, we were like, who's Umlo?

And we started talking, and then we never really decided. She's like, I'll be Umlo. All right. This thing, obviously its intention is to run directly at Nestor. Round one. Baron, you got the jump. Oh. So I could hit him with...

I'm not worried about hitting him, so I'm not worried about getting a shot off. He's's a little far away so what baron is going to do he is going to reach up to the heavens and call down the power of torag to issue a judgment of sacred protection plus one upon himself uses his one judgment per day sacred protection boost your ac yes sir so i should Sacred protection. Boost your AC. Yes, sir. So I should be at 25. So please roll plus 25 on all your attacks against me. I will. And then he is also going, as that is my standard action. I think it's swift to enact a judgment, if I remember from my Inquisitor days. Ooh. Oh, well.

I think that's right. But then again, I try to take the time between sessions to learn my character. Yeah, swift action. Swift action. So as a regular action... Standard. As my move action, actually, I'm going to cast Longshot on myself. Oh!

To increase the range out to 30 feet. And then for my... I might just... Standard action, Longshot, and then... He should be within range now for me to just get one shot off at him. Yeah, he's going to get a little boost to his AC, obviously. Wait, wait, wait. Long shot? That's a spell.

Yeah, I cast it on myself. That's not a standard action? It's one action. It's standard or move. No, no, no. It's standard. A spell is always a standard action. Oh, well, then I'm done.

Unless it says one immediate action. It says one action. No, it says one action. It doesn't say standard or move. I've never seen that. Yeah, I've only seen move or standard. I have. On Hero Lab, I have it, too.

For, like, Cure Light Wounds is one action for some reason. Oh, okay. Then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's standard. Okay. So then I will just stand side by side with Nessar, then. Long shot.

So that increases your touch AC range from 20 to what? 30. 20 to 30. All right. All right. It is now. Tharg three eyes turn. Oh, boy. Rolled a natty 20. Oh, fuck him. On the Anish. Nice.

Oh, shit. Let me check out this thing's reach. Booyah. 15 foot reach. Booyah. 15-foot reach. Cheesy, crazy. So he's just going to basically... Oh, man. I wonder if I can 5-foot step to a full-tack match.

Let me see. 5-foot step. I think you can, yeah. 5, 10, 15. 5, 10, 15. Ooh. Should I take it to Clevetown? Should I go to Cleveland?

No, I've got four attacks, two attacks with each hand. I'm going to rain down some straight fire. Let me check the old powers here. Sure. To power attack or not to power attack. That is the question, whether to snobbler in my two

minds. No, don't do it. Alright, Skid, you win. First attack on Nestor. 17 to hit. Miss. Flat footed AC. Uh, oh. That might hit. Yeah, that does hit. Wait, would you roll? 17.

Yeah, that hits, yeah. Hits Nestor for 20 points of damage. Fuck me. Second attack on Nestor coin. 19. Yep. Also hit.

By the way, I did not put on power attack. 19 points of damage on the second attack. Third attack at Baron. So that first flail comes around. Boom, boom, just hits Nestor twice. Third attack at Baron. So that first flail comes around. Boom, boom, just hits Nestor twice. Second attacks on Baron. First attack, natural 10. Oh, fuck you.

25 to hit. That is exactly a hit. You know it is. That is going to be 22 points of damage on the first attack. Second attack, the more I roll this neon, the more chances of a 20 come in. Here it is. Look at my dice.

I'm backing up from my table. Natural. Natty, 20. Natural, 20. God, that neon green die. Oh, shit. It never stops. Stop dancing.

Initiative was a 20. Nestor attack, Nestor attack, Baron attack. Fifth roll, another 20. To confirm. Initiative was a 20. Nestor attack, Nestor attack, Baron attack. Fifth roll, another 20. To confirm. Sounds like a loaded die to me. This could be ugly because a flail is just bad news. Natty, 17 on the confirm. So you rolled an 18 total, right?

Confirmed crit with a named character. Oh, boy. Baron loses a hand? What are the odds? Why did I decide? crit with a named character. Oh boy. Oh. Why did I decide? Why did I step up next to him again? That was really dumb. Flail would be bludgeoning, correct? Yes. Or piercing, I think. No, I think it's

bludgeoning. Okay. It's called What's Going On? Oh boy. Uh oh. Double damage, which is not pretty. And 1d4 hours of target's memory erased. Whoa!

Oh, boy. That is huge. To be fair, Baron didn't know who he was to begin with. Three hours, your memory is erased. Wow, wow, wow, wow. who he was to begin with. Three hours. Your memory is erased. Wow, wow, wow, wow. So you don't remember the last three hours. Well, I don't either because I haven't listened to the last episode yet. Wait, is it the next three hours?

No, it's the last three hours. So the last three hours you don't remember. Let me find it. Last thing you knew, you didn't murder two hill giants in cold blood. Your conscience is clean. But let's talk about the damage. Was the whole thing in the tent, was that more than three hours ago? No, because you guys rested in the tent.

Okay. And then came in, yeah. So you basically, you have no memory of the hill giant in the tent. He doesn't remember that he has fleas, or he doesn't have fleas. He doesn't remember we have fleas. That's right. So we can like hug him. Hey!

Hey! Give me a kiss on my chest! There's no hugging on Muscle Beach. All right, now, I haven't laid out a crit in a while. Remind me, I double the damage dice and I double the bonus? No, you double the bonus and then roll the damage twice. Roll the damage twice. You double the amount of dice.

If it's 10d6, I roll 10d6 twice. Yes. I don't roll 20d6. 20d6. Wait, what? 1 plus 2 plus 1 plus 1. I just want to make sure. Let me just... Joe, do you have like 15d6s?

I'm just gonna... Alright, here we go! We're having fun. Oh, boy. Oh, Jesus. Whatever Troy rolls for damage, it always seems to surprise him. 41 points of damage. Oh my goodness. If a flail was times three...

Sheriff! No! Could have been unconscious. Yeah. That was Tharg Three-Eyes' turn. Next up, Nestor. Still a round line. Alright, I am going to take a five-foot step back. Next up, Nestor. Still round one. All right. I am going to take a five-foot step back and do my full attack action.

Wide open shot there because it's a huge door. So even though you're shooting through that space, the door is open. Right. Okay. At least on your side. And it's a... Hold on. Let's see.

You've got deadly aim. Study target. I like this music. 25 to hit. 25 hits. 39 points of damage. 39 points of damage. Next attack.

And second attack is... Is that the multi-shot? Yes. Next attack. And second attack is... Is that the multi-shot? Yes. Second attack. 15. 15 misses. Cinderdella. Why am I Cinderdella?

I just was trying to think of something fun. Della's going to cast Grease underneath the atmosphere. Yeah, there you go. All right. Talk to me about the... DC 14 reflexes. DC 14 reflexes. 10 foot square, there you go. All right. Talk to me about the... DC-14 reflexes. DC-14 reflexes. 10-foot square,

so it's entirely underneath him. Okay, well, he takes up 15 feet all the way. He's a 15-foot square. Exactly. So he's entirely standing on top of it. A portion of it. Okay. What's the DC?

14. Fail. Yeah! Oh, baby! So does he just go prone? He falls. Falls. Boom! Oh, nice! Tharg hits the ground. Excellent. Yeah! Oh, baby! So does he just go prone? He falls. Falls. Boom! Tharg hits the ground. Excellent.

Boom! Good job, Della. You gonna use a move action? She'll take a five-foot step to her left. Okay, and grease happens immediately, right? Doesn't take one round to cast? No, no. It's not like a summon. Yeah, it's not a summon. It also says on here, like, one action. One action, okay. But duration, rather, is's not like a summon. Yeah, it's not a summon. It also says on here,

one action. One action, okay. But the duration, rather, is instantaneous. Just making sure. Yeah, yeah. Okay, sir. I'm just going to call you Will.

Hey, come on. He still has his knighthood. Hey, hey. Come on, don't take my titles. Hey. Taking it all. You can strip a knighthood. I don't even know how that works.

You don't have that authority. Knighthood's next, buddy. Talk to the queen, baby. Exactly. They break his lance. Get an audience with Queen Godfrey. Then talk to me. Yeah.

All right. Sir Will is going to, now that this creature went down and has fallen, he sees a weakness. For a second, he was really scared because one of his paladin abilities is immunity to fear. Not anymore. So he was like, he saw Baron take that hit. I was like, he might not even act. I don't know. But now he falls.

Full-on challenge him while he's on the ground. Yeah. In old Highbury style, minus the god's help. Sure. And then full-on Highbury charge at the prone creature. Yeah. Are you upfront enough to be able to charge? I feel like you don't have a clear shot to charge.

Just be honest with me, Joe. Straight through. Straight shot. Oh, you're right on that end of the door. Yeah, he's right at the end of the door. Step to the side. Shades of the Gristlecrack fight. Exactly. Fires twice, and then for Highbury! For Highbury! Natural three.

God damn it! I could have bet a million dollars Well it's minus 4 to his AC God It's minus 4 to his AC And when he's down on the ground And I rolled an 18 18 total No I'm sorry

That will not be enough That's insane Oh my god Now one thing we always forget and I rolled an 18. 18 total? No, I'm sorry. That will not be enough. That's insane! Oh my God. Now, one thing we always forget, but maybe this doesn't apply to Cavaliers, when you charge, your AC goes down until the next round. Does that, Cavaliers, ignore that?

That is correct. AC drop? Okay. So just remember when you charge, your AC drops by two, I think, until the next round. Right. All right. Let me just put my conditions prone on because I love using Hero Lab for easy to

use character sheets. Make sure you use Hero Lab and maybe one day they'll give us money. No. Stop talking about it.

Stop talking about There's no motive to give us money. If you keep saying that. Keep saying how great they are. I just love it so

much. It's not about the money. It's about Umlo. Umlo, you're up. Let's go, Stublo. Oh. That's love it so much. It's not about the money. It's about Umlo. Umlo, you're up. Let's go, Stublo. Oh, um... That's you.

All right. Well, I guess... You're so mean. Hashtag Stublo. I guess Umlo, he's standing in the back, so I guess he'll have to double move to, like,

get within... He won't provoke because the guy's on the ground. But he'll double move and get into stabbing country there. Only 15 feet. Or rather.

Yeah. So Umla rushes in and takes a right right when he gets into the room and now he's 10 feet away from the prone Tharg Three Eyes. Right. It is the beginning of round two. Baron, you have this turn until Tharg stands up and provokes Little Sir Wheel.

And Umbla. And Little Umbla. No, and we've gone over this before, but Refresher cannot ready a full round action, correct? Correct. I always know when you ask a question very politely that you know the answer. Yes. I'm just hoping that you will forget and let me do that. I'll be blinded by the size of your deltoids.

I'm going to get up close and deadly. It's gone on a little too long. I'm not going to lie. I will keep going until it's uncomfortable. Rapid shot, deadly aim. We're gone. It's a J.C. against a giant creature on the ground. Go.

That's a hit. That is a hit. So that is... Missfire, missfire, missfire. Ooh. Oh. 17 points of damage. Okay. 17 points of damage. Next attack. That is an 18 against touch AC. 18 against touch AC is a hit.

It hits. 14 points of damage. Okay, just... Third attack, up close and deadly. Nice. That is a 19 against such AC, a hit. Yep, hit, hit, hit. So, boom, boom, boom. Nobody heard that.

Here we go again. 24 points of damage. Nice. 24 points of damage. Nice job. Excellent. Okay. I. Okay. I'm sorry.

I'm reading the text of Grease now. Yep. A creature can... No, sorry. Here. You sure? Wait, are you reading the book from Grease? The musical?

Just the book, not the music. Just the book. This doesn't say anything about an Etten. Yeah, it's, I was, Is this nothing helpful here at all?

The next check you make, if you fail, you just can't move. I don't care if she's a beautiful dropout. Just stand up doesn't cost me anything. I don't believe so.

It's moving out of the grease. Yeah. Okay, it's an acrobatics check to move out of the grease. Tharg stands up, provokes from Umlo and Sir Will.

All right. I don't believe Sir Will can make an attack of opportunity with a lance. With a lance. It doesn't make a lot of sense. Is it a reach weapon? It is usually, but this is a small lance. You could poke him to anger him. Yeah, exactly. Umlo, did you hit?

I mean, it's just like... Yeah, I'll roll an attack. 21 to hit. Miss. 26 an attack. 21 to hit. 26 to hit. 26 to hit. Hits, actually. Four points of damage. A mosquito! So we could have skipped that.

That's why I said I don't think it's worth it. Alright, now, standing up, I can't do a full attack, right? You can do a standard actione. One standard actione. Is cleave a standard actione. One standard actione. Is cleave a standard action? Sure is, good buddy. It sure is.

But the problem is, none of you guys are adjacent. That's right. Because of your different varied weapons, nobody is in reach to do a cleave. So, fuck you guys. I'll do a cleave. So, fuck you guys. I'll do a power attack. No. I forbid it.

Sir Will. It works last time. It did work. Umlo, Barron. Sir Will hasn't done any damage. Umlo hasn't done any damage. I'm 20 feet away from you. Did you back up?

No. You just stood up in the same place. I don't think you should have hit me the first time. Is this you? Yeah. Yeah. You're 5, 10, 15 5, 10, 15, 20 I'm one square over

You don't count around the van You go 5, 10, 15 like that Otherwise you can go 5, 10, go this way I'm 30 squares away from you Well, you went backwards and forwards I'm going to attack Baron The damage dealer The only one that is

Doesn't make any sense Besides Nestor. It's Crack Die. Oh, miss. Yay. 14 misses. Just boom, and only gets one attack. And it is Nestor Coins' turn.

All right. I'm going to do another full attack. All right. I'm going to do another full attack. All right. Come on, Nesta. Fumby? Second. Nope. Missed all three?

Oh, no. The first one was a many try. You know, it was like the cocktail. I was like, I could have been generous to myself. It was a 14. And I was like, no, I'm going to be totally fair. And I rolled a two. That's why.

There's your first mistake. Yeah. That's what you get for being lawful good. Yeah. Around these parts. Della Narn. Della Narn is going to. Chaotically evil.

Just adding that. Are you ready? That adverb. Della is going to double moveotically evil. Just adding that. Are you ready? That adverb. Della is going to double move into the room. Oh! Provoke, provoke, provoke. Alright, so Della will run to the other side of the room past the reach of Tharg.

Tharg lashes out with a flail. Nothing. Let's expand the battlefield, shall we? This is why we play Pathfinder, folks. I'm just talking to my wall. See, guys, this is what we play. As if we had an audience here. I turned around. Sir Will! Sir Will is going to

not stay in the shadow of this great beast for long. He will use a standard... Yeah, he's going to use a standard action to enact a cavalier ability, which I will be focusing on these days. And you're allowed to do those? I am allowed to do those, yes.

I still have my knighthood. Just checking. And he is going to enact an escape route. So he's going to get out of there for right now. But when he comes back in on another charge, anybody who's adjacent to him will not provoke attacks of opportunity for moving in any squares adjacent to Sirius. Oh, interesting. So if they follow you, you keep them safe from AoAs. Exactly.

But for right now, we're all kind of spread out, so I'm going to continue the spread, and I will provoke an attack of opportunity getting away. Okay, well, it was on power attack, so lower chance to hit, but higher damage output if it does. And he rolled an 18. That is a miss. Dodged it. I was thinking to myself,

I'm never going to get an AOA, so what does that matter? Way to go, little man. All right, Umlo. Still waiting on that confirmed. All right, Umlo. I know. Umlo is going to take his confirmed crit. I know. Umlo is going to take his first stab. Oh, 25.

25 is a hit. And Oh, shit. Great roll. 23 damage. 23 damage. Nicely done. And I think he's got another attack. I do. I'll never hit unless I crit. 18, yeah.

Yes. So, Umlo just lodges that. Gets heart spit in there. Heart spit. Yeah. God, once somebody crits on that, just pulling that fear out. You know, somebody pointed out that you said, once Umlo crits, you didn't say anything about a confirmed critical. True, true.

And he did get an unconfirmed critical. I did notice that. And I took it under advisement. Just pointing it out. Pointing out your hypocrisy. Yep, yep. Yes, yes, yes. Round three.

Baron. Baron, are you still angry that I attacked you who did 90 points of damage to me in one round? Asking for the audience as well as my own sanity. Hey, Troy,

I never stop being angry at anything. It just kind of simmers down low, and I'm ready to explode. So let's shake me up and see what happens. I see the veins bulging on those biceps. He packs it all into his little ball in his arms. It's like that Elliot Smith song, Bottle Up and Explode, except less sad. So five foot step back outside of the immediate reach of the... Etten.

Creature. And he's gonna full round attack. Inspire, inspire, inspire, inspire, inspire, inspire, inspire, inspire. That's another hit. He's just rocking him. 11 points of damage. Minimum damage. 16 against Touch AC.

Doesn't matter. The 11 puts him down. Oh, shit. All right. Can I get that gunshot sound, Sir Will? I mean, Sir Joe? You know, I want to... I think there were five of them altogether.

I just want to make sure we have... I want to say something. I want to say something about... That's a new gun, Baron. Baron, put that gun down. That's the rapid shot. That's the rapid shot. That's terrifying.

They drew first blood. Talk to me about the sound of the gun. So, yeah. So, I just want to relay an anecdote from my own life. Because somebody was pointing out that gunshots aren't necessarily as loud as you think they're going to be. When I was in eighth grade, my best friends... You were shot? No, no. But my best friend lived next door to a crack house. And I was spending the night,

it was a Saturday, and there was a police raid on the neighboring house. And there were shots fired and people got wounded. People got hit by bullets. And I didn't hear anything i was awake my friend slept through the entire thing house next door didn't hear a thing so just want to say and that's modern firearms firearms and here's some little known fact were they using silenced weapons yeah the police were using silenced weapons little known uh high budget yeah uh and he's he. He's bleeding out and dying, but he has regeneration and a vortex! Are both heads unconscious? One of them. The light is still in its

one eye. You see an axe wound over the other eye and it starts to slowly fade out and for a moment, any of you with a perception over eight can see that this poor Ettin was not all there. Oh.

And was just this savage beast, perhaps left to guard that stairway leading up, perhaps left to guard the door on the opposite side of the room in which you entered. But he has a chain around both of his necks that gave him full run of the entire room. But you just see, and now thinking back to the actual fight itself, there was no there there with him. So maybe this axe wound with which he lost his eye in did something to one of his brains.

And yet again, you've killed an innocent, beautiful creature. Well, Nestor starts walking up to him and he's laughing. Like, belly laughing. And he's standing between the etin and the cistern, the toilet. And he says, Normally they start shitting themselves after they see us coming. Oh, boy. Can Della go to the opposite door and listen to see if there's any sound approaching?

Sure. Della goes to the opposite door. Roll a perception check. 14. All right. So opposite you is from the door you came in. If you guys don't remember from last week, there's obviously the staircase going up.

There's the well. There's some windows that are like all patched up. And then there's the door that Della went to, which is on the opposite side of the room. You listen. What would you roll? A cool 14. A gentleman's 14.

A gentle lady's 14. You hear nothing. Which is also the name of your next play. Nothing or you hear nothing? You hear nothing. You hear nothing! It is also the last line of said play. That's a good idea for

the last line. What do you hear, Clarice? What do you hear? You hear nothing. It writes itself. So there's stairs, and there's stairs leading up, right? There's stairs leading up, and then there's windows on the... Yep, there's windows that, and you guys know

that the back three towers, as far as you can tell, and as far as Della could tell in her flyover, are abutting, built directly into the mountain face. The largest peak that you've seen since you've entered the mountains. But the windows themselves, there's air on the other side of them, and they've been patched up with dung and... Mud. Mud. Straw.

Straw. Bird's nests. Tuna sandwiches. So, all right. Well, anyway, as I'm standing over there, Nestor's going to just... I'm sure he wasn't a wealthy yet, but I'm going to check his body. Check his body. You find a note.

Really? Ooh. Oh. Is it pinned to his sweater? Yep. It's in his breast pocket. If found, please return to owner at 367 Giant Murderer Lane. I grab it and I start reading it.

It says, I am a brain-damaged Ettin. I have no treasure on me. I crumple it up and throw it down the toilet. I'm having a lot of fun in this episode. You clearly are. All right, well, let's search the rest of the room. Yeah. I suppose.

Yeah, sir, we'll do a perimeter search around the room. 14. 14 around the old room, huh? 28 for Nestor and 14 for Umlo 28 for Nestor, 14 for Umlo yeah you

look around and you don't really see anything of interest, I mean it's refuse and at least this brain damaged Etten knew to use the well as a latrine. You see like a little winch and a rope next to it. But otherwise, it's just a pretty gross room that this poor thing was living in.

Like a spindle and a crank. We lie in pieces next to the well. I should say it's broken. wheel lie in pieces next to the well. I should say it's broken. So Baron's going to approach the Eddins, refuse his waste material. He's going to take a knee.

He's going to drag a finger through it in a detective manner and smell it. This will give me the clue I need. And he's going to roll specifically to find secret doors. Did you take an investigator level? Inquisitive, isn't he? That's a 22. 22. Now, you don't detect anything.

You only see the door you came in, the door opposite that, which Della listened to and heard nothing, and stairs leading up the tower. Well, it stands to reason that these doors go into the next tower, right? Right. Yeah, that's how we go. So let's go up the stairs and clear this tower? Yeah. Sure. It's fine with me.

I'm going to do some healing on the way up. Yeah, I could really. Nestor could use quite a bit. Yeah. Do we need some wanding? Do we need some infernal? I'll tell you anything you want. I'll give Nestor the infernal.

And do you want some wanding, or do you have a wand? All right, so we did the healing off air. How many charges did we use on the wand? About seven. My wand is more than half used. It's more of an exact number I'm looking for. Well, I didn't keep a tally mark I just hit on Hero Lab Our not sponsor

That's fancy We've used 27 out of 50 charges on that wand Okay And do we have another wand Or is this the last one 13 left on the old So we have about 40 Well there's always infernal healing

Your thoughts Oh baby There's also channeling about 40. Well, there's always infernal healing. Your thoughts? Oh, baby! There's also channeling, don't forget. Oh, jeez. I just put my foot right in my big old mouth. God, I'm sorry. Alright.

Y'all ready for this? Every time we make fun of Sir Will, I feel like Jock Jam should play. Everybody dance now. Maybe you could lay on hands. Everybody dance now. That's so stupid. I just want to put it out there.

I am backtracking on the straight up the stairs, just in case there's something dangerous up there. I'd like to take a peek in the side door just to see if it is indeed the second tower, in which case we can obviously go upstairs. But we don't know. It might not be the second tower. Could we roll a Dungeoneering or something? I do not have that. You're looking for the third tower, by the way. You're in what you think is the second tower.

Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I thought we went in the very first one. Okay. You went in the first one. The first one was where we got pleased. That's right. Who degrossed the hill giants.

You degrossed them. The kind, benevolent hill giants. We can peek or I can roll the Dungeon Earring check if you want. Yeah, let's take a peek just because I feel like this thing might be protecting something upstairs that is very dangerous. 23 on the old Dungeon Nearing Knowing what Della told you And knowing what you know

Just from having stormed many cathedrals To defunct ladies Most of my resume is cathedral storming It is indeed Most likely The third tower You know it's funny because Baron doesn't even know that we're in a tower. That's right.

Yeah, he doesn't. He has no idea where we are. What the hell are you talking about? But we get him up to speed. Why am I so itchy? Who are you people? I thought I didn't sleep with Inger Hill. Wow.

She's passed. Please. She's made up. Her brother is made up. That's passed. Please. She's made up. Her brother is. That's a good point. That's exactly how I feel. Every time someone's animal companion or familiar dies and we're worried about it dying, I'm like, come on. It's not a real person.

Let's just kill it. Come on. It's an imaginary not real person. When it comes to Anger Hill, you don't screw around. All right. So, yeah, you think it probably is that third tower. Well, should we clear out this level and then go up, or should we... Yeah, let's clear out this level, just

in case it's... I'm down. It was protecting something upstairs, rather than just the other tower. Alright, so we array ourselves at the opposite door. I'm going to do a... Well, you already did a perception check, right? Yeah, I do. I'm going to do another one Well, you already did a perception check, right? Yeah. I do. I'm going to do another one just for a good measure.

27. 27, yeah. You don't hear anything. Okay. All right, open the door. Oh, check it for trap. No, you open it. That was...

Seven fireballs. Okay. Try to stealthily open the door. All right, stealthily open the door. All right. Stealthily open the door. A huge stone bench carved with strings of runes runs along the circumference of this circular chamber. It's like a meeting room.

It goes. The only place it doesn't cover the circle of the room is the door in which you entered and the door opposite you. Otherwise, it goes completely around the stone bench, all carved with rooms. A narrow ledge along the back of the bench holds several dozen stone busts of stern-looking giants. All different giants just looking stern Kind of like a museum To the southeast So basically if you were to walk in to the right

So directly to your right There is a high backed granite throne Sitting atop a small platform overlooking the room. To the west, so to your left, and to the northwest, just a little bit farther into the room on your left, there are six tall stained glass windows, just like you saw in the first tower, covered with iron grates lining the wall. The glass is nearly opaque from centuries of dusty mountain winds. And like the other rooms, numerous panes have cracked, or in some cases just blown out completely

and the holes have been sloppily patched with clay and dung and more of the same shit you've seen. There are a number of tree trunks propped against the bench above large piles of wood shavings. I wonder where all the trees in the valley went. Maybe some of them went in here. And each of them is in the process of being reshaped and bound into an iron-banded club. Oh, wow. Armory. On the opposite side of the room. Oh, wow. Armory.

On the opposite side of the room. It's like a fuss case. Sort of to, if you were, like, basically directly opposite you to the left of the door, there are a number of open crates. They look like they're packed with tools, rope, wood, chunks of coal, iron ore,

and a bunch of other objects. And these crates are piled throughout the room on the other side. Dozens of broken or rusted weapons and shields have been haphazardly thrown into a scrap pile directly to your left. So crates on the other side of the room, on the west wall, a pile of weapons. The last thing I will mention, I saved it for last.

Underneath this throne directly to your right, several human corpses have been stacked like cordwood in a very sad, macabre pile. Do they have their fate attached? They do. Okay. How many? Six or seven.

Some of them are in various states of, like, chopped up. So you can't quite tell how many there were. Weird. But you do see feet. Okay. What a horrible place. Yeah. This is really depressing. I'm picking the vacation spot next year.

Shackles it is. We're going to the shackles. We're going to the shackles. I'm going to check that. So the pile of discarded weapons is right by us, right? Yeah. If you enter the room and go to the left, there's a pile of weapons. Directly to your right is the pile of bodies.

Opposite the room is the crates. If you want to start looking at the weapons, you'd think it would probably take you 10, 20 minutes to go through all of it. But there's a lot of stuff in there. All right. Well, I'm actually going to go over the of it, but there's a lot of stuff in there. Alright, well, I'm actually going to go over the bodies. Let's see what's up with them. Alright, you start piecing it together and now you see

seven, eight men. And the only thing that's recognizable to them is their tabard, which bears an image of a white tree on a green field. Gondor!

White tree of Gondor! Is there a knowledge check I can roll on that? Knowledge nobility? That's right. Do I have that? Della doesn't have it, but I can roll it untrained. It is the most underused knowledge skill in all of Pathfinder. And yet it's like the bread

and butter of Game of Thrones. It's what you teach everybody. I rolled a 10. Well, it was DC 10. Oh, there you go. Plus that would have been a bummer if you used knowledge ability once in your entire life. I had to use bardic knowledge.

I don't have a point. I'm surprised Sir Will doesn't have it. You lost it? I have local and religion. What's your I had to use bardic knowledge. I don't have a point. I'm surprised Sir Will doesn't have it. You lost it? I just have local and religion. What's your sign? Sigil? The two griffins mating? Yeah.

No. What did you call it? You had the great way to put it. Oh, a rampant on a field of birds. Della, I don't know where you would have come across this in your studies, but... Maybe Galabros made a note in one of his books. Perhaps he did. He was wicked smart. The image of a white tree on a green field is recognizable as the symbol of Nirmathas.

Oh. Which is a nearby settlement. Nation. Nation, yes. Settlement. Settlement. Nation. Nearby. Like Russia is a nearby settlement. Nation. Nation, yes. Settlement. Settlement. Nation. Yes.

Nearby. Like Russia is a settlement. Nearby. Yeah. Hamlet. A small village in the Volga. Known as Russia. There are seven people that live near Mephas.

There they all are. Wow. Okay. All right. Wow. Sir Will would like to. I just bought the Inner Sea World guy, but I haven't gotten the ends yet. That's true.

I just bought it. Well, I'm glad you didn't because now... Yeah, now I get to learn something. Sir Will wants to go through the weapons. I'd like to take 20, if I may, on a perception to kind of slowly look through them and see if there's anything of value that was discarded that the giants didn't realize was good weaponry, well-made weaponry.

Okay, so I feel like one of you can look through the scrap heap and two of you can look through the boxes. Can I speed things up by using detect magic at all to find any magical auras within the crates of the weapons? Absolutely. Baron, you detect magic, and you do get an aura of magic throughout the room. Huh.

But there's so much stuff. Like, you don't... In the weapons? In the weapons. And in the crate. And in the crates. Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, you're like,

ah, there's stuff here. But, you know, it depends on how much time you want to take. All right, so we'll say Sir Will's going to look through the scrap heap, and we'll say two of you can look through the boxes. I'll go. I'll go through the boxes.

And then one of you can look through the bodies. All right, then. I'm going to do that. So 22 for Will. What am I doing? Am I doing crates? You're doing crates. Whoever's doing the crates, roll perception.

25. 25 on the crates as well. 17. Oh, wait, no, 27. 27. And you did crates too. Yeah, you all did crates. That's fine.

It was DC 25, so only two of you passed. Oh. You do find something, Sir Will. have you passed. You do find something, Sir Will. You find a large, magical dagger.

Large in size. With a stout, wide blade and a long, wooden handle with jet inlays. Very cool. So is that like a long sword for a halfling? I don't know.

That is a good question. Isn't a large dagger just a small sword? I mean sting. That's what sting was. So Sir Will will try to detect magic and do a spellcraft

check, but he's unable to. Right. Right? Yeah. But I can see that it's really nice, so I'll bring it to Baron and just sort of ashamed. Be like, this looks very nice and well-made, but I'm not sure how to do it.

I just see you get wisps of magical aura around it, but you can't see anyone. It's like blurry wisps. Yeah. There is a veil fallen over your vision. Baron says, well, that looks like some pretty good craftsmanship, and he rolls a 23 on spellcraft. 23. It is a large plus one dagger.

Oh. Alright. It's good to have a dagger in your back pocket. It'd be nice if it wasn't large. But you have it. Is that a dagger in your pocket pocket. It'd be nice if it wasn't large. But you have it. Is that a dagger in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me? So what else is there to check? Della.

I'm going to tell you what Della found. I'm going to tell you what Nestor found. I'm going to tell you what Umb's found. Della, you find a broken, huge, magical shield. Oh. Huge. Huge. Magical shield that's broken.

I can mend things. Yeah. You sure can. I will spellcraft it. Okay. Natural one. It is a fine hat. Give it to Baron.

Della carries it over to Baron. Oh, come on. That's a hot ape, and we can't do it until tomorrow again. Yeah. Not going to know what it is. So Della will, however, mend it. She'll cast Mending, and then I guess we'll put it in the bag. That takes several minutes.

Does it? Yeah. We're taking 20, so. Yeah. You got the time while Nest nester is uh peeking through uh nester you find a heavy irregular chunk of pocked black rock about the size of a human skull that catches your attention as you go through all this stuff you get the sense that it's probably worth something.

You want to roll in a praise? Yeah. 19. You don't know, but you know this is worth something, and it's like otherworldly. How much does it weigh? About 50 pounds. Sounds like it's

cold iron, perhaps. I'll tuck it away. Mr. Tucks away this... I'm not going to put that on the loot sheet, then. ...chunk of pocked black rock, size of a human skull. And then, meanwhile, I'm low. I'm sorry, did you say it was 50 pounds? No, I said 50.

Yeah, it's about 50 pounds. Oh, then never mind. I bring it over to say, hey, look, does this look like something that might be worth something? What do you think? Can I roll a spellcraft? Do you want me to do an appraise?

Oh, yeah, you could appraise. That is insane. I don't have much of an appraise, even with a bottle cap, the chances I get this are slim to nothing. Give me a tap. 13. Yeah, let's put some cash come on dwarf uh my appraise well it's i get a bonus because it's like gem like so sir will just rolled a natural 20 if that matters 21 what's your 20 20 adjusted yeah so the fact that you all like even with Baron's keen eye, can't figure it out.

He doesn't have much of a... Does Umlo have a praise? That's why I'm going to praise. Well, while you guys look at that, I'll tell you what Umlo finds. Umlo is looking through everything, and he finds, like, three chain shirts. Oh. Three suits of scale mail salvaged from the bodies of this Nirmathi group of men and then he finds something and he brings it

over to Sir Will and he's like I don't know much about magic at least not yet and I know that you're struggling with your powers and whatnot but I feel like this is something special it just seemed to stand out amongst the other. And what is it? It's a magical suit of armor.

Oh. Oh. Really? Like, uh, what? Like chain armor or, like, plate armor? Mail. Mail. Huh. But it's medium.

Yep. Yeah, because it was taken off the patrol. All the other stuff was large weapons. The stuff in the crate was a little... And Sir Will can tell just looking at it that it's really well-made. You can still see those faint wisps of magic. I just had a sense that it's something special.

Yeah, so again, he'll take it over to Baron and ask Baron to help identify it. Help, Baron. Help! Ooh, there you go. It is plus two giant defiant splint mail. Oh, wow. That is awesome!

Oh, wow. What is it? It sounds amazing. It sounds great. Giant defiant. Giant defiant. I love it! Plus two.

Two. That's pricey mail. Split mail is medium? Yeah. That I don't know. It's a first class mail. That I don't know. I said it, but I don't know.

It is medium. Defiant. No, I think it is. It's like similar to Bane. No, split mail's heavy unless it's Mithril. If it's Mithril. All right. Against the designated foe, the item's enhancement bonus to AC is plus two better than its actual bonus.

And DR2 everything against attacks from giants. Oh, come on. That is amazing. Oh, cool. I mean, that's when someone in this group is going to be like, I'm taking heavy armor proficiency next level. Because it's worth wearing something. You get DR2 against giants and a plus two on top of the plus two. Maybe I could put the giant defiant over Oskaroth's armor.

Can you wear heavy armor? Yes. I've never played a paladin. Well, Joe's not playing one now. I used to play one. I used to play one. I used to play one. I'm not a paladin, but I played one on a podcast. So, yeah, very grim room.

You've got this treasure. It seems like they're taking things. Are there no regular-sized weapons in the scrap pile? No. Like, they didn't take these people's weapons. Okay. Yeah, and they're... So you see trees

being made to build clubs, so they're building weapons. Then you see a horde of stolen weapons from large creatures, you would think. Then you see this dead group of men

from Nirmathas. Yeah. Soldiers, border patrol. I don't know. Why are they piled up in here in front of a throne in this room with all these

stern- looking giant heads I wonder if it's the weapons From the Giants from the fighting pits That lost That got They take their weapons And they just throw them in here

And To outfit whoever comes along later If they're If they're worthy A weapon take Although that's not what that means Can Della check out the bus? Are they Yeah if they're worthy. A weapon take, although that's not what that means. Can Della check out the bus?

Yeah, Nestor also wants to look at those. He's curious about those. Sure. Yeah, you just go over. They're not emanating any magic or anything. It's just various species of giants looking very stern. They're being revered. Are they bolted to the shelf, or are they loose?

Could you... They're heavy as all hell, but they're... Yeah, you could probably... You couldn't be like, Baron, catch! You'd break his face. Nestor... Sorry, Nestor goes down the line, and looking at the face, he said,

Bubba Booey? Bubba Booey? Oh, sorry, I thought they were Howard Stern-looking statues. I'm sorry. Oh, my boy. Give me all of Grant's bottle caps. That's only fair. That is only fair.

Del is going to tilt a couple back and arcane mark underneath. Ah, okay. Really? It's heavy. What's your strength? Ten? Yeah, you can't even lift them. All right.

She'll arcane mark the back of him can I do can I do a knowledge local to identify them yeah you could try I mean it looks like it's from another time

but try it well knowledge local also includes like legends and stuff right so 29

29 good lord well small best skill 29 29 well it's my best skill because you know what every slayer needs knowledge local that's like screen wise

yes yeah he's an assassin criminals better know your way around yeah alright let's fill for 15 seconds

while Troy looks it up no I'm just trying to think of a good way to describe it. So, Nestor, you walk around and you look at these busts of giants from another time. And you think that this, especially with the throne and everything, that's all from another time. The runes and whatnot. This was probably a chapter house for

the original inhabitants. Or maybe the inhabitants that came after the originals and maybe these busts are all the great priests that ran the cathedral over time. And so

until Linda Hall went extinct, they were being revered. Would we think that the priests sat in the throne and held these meetings in this little hall? Did they have leadership positions like that? Almost political? Probably. There's probably a diaconate

and different stations below the head priest. And so maybe they came in there and they had their meetings and whatnot, and this was like their initiation room. But now it's being used to make weapons and hold bodies. Is there any value to the throne? Is it made of a precious metal or anything?

No, no, it's stone. It's built right out of the bench itself. There's runes and whatnot, but... Is there anything else that we've missed? Matter of fact? I'd like to roll a, have we missed it check? Use magic miss? I mean, there's a lot going on in this room,

but without taking a lot more time, you guys have found pretty much everything you're going to be able to find. You've got doors leading out. To what we think is outside. What you think is either outside or that larger long room building. Not even the room building that Della saw. Or back

and up. Back and up. Well, I'm going to take a quick look at the other door. Yeah, I want to do a perception check too. Alright, Baron and Nestor roll perception. 31. 16. 16.

All right, so Baron, you listen at the door, and you hear very muffled, like, you don't know if it's arguing, you don't know if it's merriment, you don't know if it's a fight, don't know if it's a fight but it sounds very rambunctious but super muffled very far like it's not right on the other side of the door but it's also not you know a mile away it's it's coming from that direction it's just all very muffled it sounds very rambunctious.

It sounds like your neighbor is playing music. So, Baron, we'll relay that information that I have very nonspecific information about what I hear. I'm going to try to stealthily open the door and see what's on the other side. Stealthily open the door? Yeah. Roll stealth. All right.

31. Gosh, you guys and need 31s You stealthily open the door And you see a small Anti-chamber With another door Across From where you are And if assuming

Baron relayed the sounds he was hearing, now you hear even more loud sounds. But again, you don't know if it's a fight, you don't know if it's a party, but you know it's a good amount of people, and you hear that on the other side of the door across from where you are. Well...

Bang, bang, bang! I'm going to leave well enough alone. And I think I vote we go back and go up the stairs. I agree. Agreed. And on the way out, I'm all your thoughts. Well, I think we should. God damn it. This fucking accent.

It's so good at it. I'd like to get. No, I'd like to go God damn it, this fucking accent. I used to be so good at it. I'd like to get... No, I'd like to go up the stairs, please. On the way out... Nailed it! Bottlecap! I'd like to go up the stairs, please. On the way out, Baron's going to take a quick little sit on that throne.

See if anything happens. Okay, Jamie Lannister. Climbs. You have to, like, climb up. You step on the bench and you climb up and you sit on the throne. Do you want a booster chair? Yeah, I mean, you do. You look like a child. A child in a barber shop.

Baron's first haircut. Don't cry, Baron. You're killing my hairs! You're killing my hairs! You're killing them! It hurts! It hurts! No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't hurt. My beard hurts.

Oh, it's so itchy. You're sitting there and, like, it doesn't help that you're a dwarf, but, I mean, you are just dwarfed by the size of this throne that you're sitting in. It's a very strange feeling, especially as an Inquisitor now, as someone who's a new holy man, a holy avenger, or whatever you are, you get this ancient sense of religion.

And in a weird way, it feels kind of good to sit there. Oh, interesting. But I can't exactly say why outside of Feeling the pull of history Might just be the shit bags that you're hanging out with Yeah Just slowly There's no reason to talk about Sir Will like that

The power of this cathedral is palpable And you as the leader De facto leader of this group Wonder for a second How much the evil Deity Is seeping into the minds and souls of your companions and for a moment you feel that rush you feel that quickening and you get off this in the place of the dark lord you will have a queen terrible but beautiful as the dawn treacherous as the sea

the second time we've done that speech it's a good speech it's a great speech haircuts and galarian are no joke they give you a quickening They summon a lot of A lot of power Well let's go up those stairs Yeah let's go Let's do it

Yeah back Backing up So you go back I'm assuming you guys Are closing all the doors Behind you Slamming them As hard as we can

With and firing off a gun After each one To signify that it's closed Because they're not that loud That's how you lock it. Like Homer. Door's locked. Della, do you want to do any sort of noticeable damage to the room, or are you just doing the behind

the statue arcane locks? Behind the statue degradation. Okay. Defilement really is the word. Defilement, yes. So you go back to the room where you met the lovely Tharg Three Eyes. And you are in the middle of the Spire Sentry here, facing steps leading up, straight up. What do you do? I should point out that the room you were just in is one tower.

The room with the neutral grid hill giants that you murdered in cold blood was one spire. was one spire. This middle room has stairs leading up to the middle spire, which rises directly above the cathedral itself. Can we see up the stairs at all?

How much can we see? Is there a smoke machine at the top? You were going to say, can we skip it? Can we skip all this? Moving on. You can't. It's very dim.

Very dim up there, and it's past 60 feet. So it goes up into darkness. It goes up into relative darkness. Relative darkness. Well, let's go. Can we do a perception check? Sure. Tell me a party order just for my own.

You can go two by two if you want to Or you can go single file Or you can all ride on Lexington He can handle stairs? He is magical Don't worry about it He can't go upstairs, Matthew I think we should do

Ranks of two Alright, so who's up front? Umlo Umlo in the van Who's in the up front? Umlo. Umlo in the back. Who's in the back yard with Umlo? Umlo is by himself. Umlo, okay, Umlo low and up front.

No, Baron will join him. Umlo and Baron, the two dwarves. Put Della in the middle so if I need to buff, I can buff. Yep. Della in the middle with... Della and Nestor. Della and Nestor in the middle. He's in a pod. So Will will watch the rear.

And William Keswick. It's not William. I said that to belittle him. Little Willie. In the back. Little Willie Stiles all with it. Getting jiggy with it. Protecting the flank.

Thank you very much. Umlo and Baron. Leading the charge. Thank you very much. Umlo and Baron leading the charge. Roll a perception check. 30. 25. You hear up ahead in the room. You get the sense

that the next room is very, very large. But you can hear with who... You roll a 30, Amal? Oh, you roll a 30. Baron did. Baron, you just hear light.

Oh. Oh, I don't like that sound. That's very far away. Can I roll Knowledge Nature to tell exactly what's breastfeeding? No, you may not. Okay. Sir Will. Okay. Sir will. Okay.

I let them know about the noise up ahead, and I say we... So it's doors. Yes, it is doors. Oh. No, I'm sorry. It's not. No, it's just...

An open... Stairs lead straight up and open into a room. How far can we see? You can see... it's just an open stairs lead straight up and open into a room. Uh, how far can we see? Uh, you can see it. So we, so we haven't crested the top of the stairs.

Oh, I heard this. You can hear as you're going up. It's very strange. You know, you're going up these, there was no door to get onto the stairs. You don't see a door at the top of the stairs,

but you can't see into the room until you're at the top of the stairs. There are walls, right? It's not like an open staircase. It seems to be, obviously, circular. I think the stealthy among us should maybe go first. So, Nestor's going to switch places with Omlo

and try to stealth up, and if Baron wants to do that, he's welcome to join us. Alright, Nester and Baron roll stealth. 29. What'd you get, Bear Bear? Care Bear?

Oh no. He knew he shouldn't have rolled. I saw it in your face, Xt. That's not that bad. Awesome. Oh, no! All right, so, as usual, Nestor, cat-like grace. I knew I shouldn't have...

Tiptoes up to the edge of the steps. Baron right next to him. Both of them in the vanguard. You slowly come up. And I don't know, Baron, if you just like step on a pebble or something, who knows what you do. But you get to the top of the stairs

and you see into the room. And it is enormous. If you see my hands right now, like when I put the map out, this is the size of it. Oh, wow. The circle. Troy's hands are easily 40 feet apart.

At least 40. You ever seen a picture of Michael Jordan's wingspan? That's how big the room is. An immense... Six foot nine? An immense L-shaped table carved of black walnut and polished until it gleams

serves as the centerpiece of this large, circular chamber surrounded by several chairs. All around the room, numerous arched windows look out, and you can see, right at your crest at the top, Master and Baron,

they look out over the countryside. It's the last beautiful thing you'll see. Between the windows, this is all happening very fast, you see like a variety of maps, drawings, diagrams, and all this

like posters and shit pegged on the walls. A line of severed heads, skewered upon long iron pikes, runs around the perimeter of the room. Interspersed among the pikes are five large iron perches.

We'll get to those in a second. Birds? Drinks? On the opposite side of the chamber, to the east, directly across from you, you see a second set of stairs now curving upward along the wall, leading to the next level.

On the five perches... He's smiling. He's giddy. He's giddy is the word. You see five vulture-looking creatures with greasy feathers occupying all the perches throughout the room. Vulture-looking, but they have two heads. Oh. Every single one of them.

Oh! Oh. Every single one of them. As you walk into the room, as you walk into the room, there's a creature with its back to you. A large creature. I know.

Feeding one of these two-headed vultures. What looks like either maggots, maybe strips of rotting flesh. Now it's much louder of a sound. And as you enter, if Nestor was by himself, probably wouldn't be a problem. But Baron, 16, just didn't do it. And the creature stops its feeding and whips its head around and looks directly at Baron with its one eye.

See you next week. No! Not again! No! I want to play so bad. No, Odin! Odin. Odin. Outro Music