The Glass Cannon Podcast - Giantslayer Episode 99 - Good Night, and Good Rukh

Episode Date: April 18, 2017

The party begins climbing the central tower of the cathedral, uncovering relentless danger, mysterious intel and unspeakable horror along the way. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. To become an official member of the Naish, subscribe today at http://www.jointhenaish.com. Want to be a part of Glass Cannon Nation? Follow us at twitter.com/glasscannonpod instagram.com/theglasscannon facebook.com/glasscannonnetwork tiktok.com/@glasscannonnetwork Get the best apparel and gaming accessories in the biz at https://glasscannonnetwork.com/store If you enjoyed this, we have several other series featuring Call of Cthulhu - Time For Chaos Delta Green - Get in the Trunk Pathfinder 2E - Glass Cannon Live! Strange Aeons Pathfinder 1E - Legacy of the Ancients Traveller - Voyagers of the Jump and so much more! Join us every Thursday night for Campaign Two of The Glass Cannon Podcast – a playthrough of the Pathfinder 2E Gatewalkers Adventure Path! Videos premiere on YouTube Thursday nights at 8PM ET with a companion podcast available at midnight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on the Glass Cannon Podcast. I'm throwing this in the trash. I don't care if it's episode 99. It's the longest episode in GCP history. Oh, I love it. This is it. I say it a lot, but I think we should defy expectation. That's what we're known for.

And he will use his bottle cap. Umlaut cap. Umlaut cap. This is the most bottle caps used in an episode. Let's get a natty Twanzo for humble. Level up. Roll twice. And now how many do you have left?

Bottle caps? Yeah. Zero. Oh, this is it. Now this is what I like. Bottle cap economy. Oh, natural 20. Automatic.

I'm not even joking. I'm going to kill Baron. I'm using old neon green and little sister green here. She's good. 91? Yes! The march to 100 reaches its zenith.

Why me? Why? Right now. Hey, everybody. This is Skid. I may not be able to tell right now, but this is Skid, I promise. My voice sounds this way as a result of GMing our live podcast recording yesterday and also shouting several four high burys and belting out many David Bowie songs in the bar afterwards. I want to say on behalf of all of us, we just had the most amazing experience.

It was so great being able to do the show in front of listeners and being able to meet friends old and new and have match up faces to Twitter handles and screen names. And it was, we just had the most amazing time. And I hope the people who attended did too. Um, and we want to, I want to thank everybody else on the crew.

I want to thank Matthew, Matthew, Troy, Joe Grant, and, um, Nick Lowe, uh,

for everything that they did in putting it together. I want to thank everybody who attended for coming. You guys were amazing. And I hope we get to do many more of these kind of things in the near future. And I also want to thank the Geekery HQ for putting us up. They were fantastic. And they said they had one of the top three sales days in the entire history of the store. So they were pretty happy.

We were happy. Everything worked out really well. So without further ado, and before my throat literally catches on fire, let's dive right in to our newest episode, episode 99, Good Night and Good Rock. And tonight we're going to party like it's episode 99. Episode 99. Holy mother of pearl. Wow. The march to 100 continues.

No, this is the last one. This is it. I say it a lot, but I think we should defy expectation. That's what we're known for. We're known for defying expectation. So this will be the last episode of the Gold Station. Always leave them wanting more. That's what they say.

It's going to end against some vultures and a cyclops. There we go. I never showed you guys a picture of this. I meant to do it after you left last week, and I was like, eh, fuck it. But they're pretty gross. The last time a greasy bird came to this party, let's just say somebody had a baby. Oh, boy. Look at those.

Two-headed. Gross. I thought you were calling Ingrid Held a greasy bird. You a greasy bird? It's for the it, yeah. I thought you were calling Ingrid Held a greasy bird. Are you a greasy bird? It's for the birds, mate. Yeah, two-headed vulture eating maggots, strips of rotting flesh. Do you think we could talk one of them into eating the fleas off of us? Ooh, I've noticed you guys haven't rested since then.

You fought Tharg. No. You took a beating there, but you just wanded away, wanded away. Went into the next room. Went into this room. That's cool. That's cool. I'm down with what you're cooking. Now, I said to you guys last week, the size of this room. Now you

can see the map. You saw it. I had it all set up when you guys came over. Look at the size! I say this a lot, but I don't think I've ever played an encounter in Pathfinder in a room this size. Unless somebody just didn't draw anything on the map. Well, it takes you two flip maps to make the map. Yeah, to put two maps

together. The room is 150 feet across. Yes. 150 foot diameter. 150 foot diameter. Circular room, 150 feet diameter. You've got this giant L-shaped table. Four giants to like, there's chairs all around. Is this like a meeting room? You don't see food

anywhere. In fact, you see the opposite of food. You see papers, which is the opposite of food. You see diagrams, maps, all sorts of shit. That's an old SAT question. You see a... Black is to white as food SAT question. You see a...

Black is to white as food is to... You see a poster of Pink Floyd's The Wall. There's a poster of Pink Floyd's The Wall up there. It's very nice. But yeah, very, very, very, very strange. Do the maps look old, like ancient maps? I mean, you're taking this in really quick. They look hand-drawn for the most part.

Some of them look a little more detailed than others, but I see eyes darting back and forth. Now, Sir Will, you're not even there. Yeah, you haven't crested the stairs. Oh, that's right. That's right. Nester and Loudy McLouderson over there. How far back are we?

It's Ash Peak. So you guys are 15 feet behind them. And when I say you guys, I mean Della. I almost said Nella. Della, Omlo, and William. Stop! Are in the back. 15 feet away from the ranged characters.

It's going to be a five on six battle as far as you can tell. You got the Cyclops and these creatures known as Rux. Rux? Rux. Rux. Rux? Rux. Rux. Rux. Is heady Ruxpin? Two-headed, greasy vultures.

It should be interesting. You know, the biggest issue with this is that giant table, especially for the ranged characters. This is a table that's probably six feet high, so you have to get around it to get into position. And then if you've got Baron, who has to be 20 feet away, he's already used his judgment for the day. He's already used long shot. So he's going to have to get up close and personal with these guys. What did you think was going to be on this

level? Because I always think you wonder, I bet you it's going to be this. I thought third, well, second floor is usually the food court. So that's what I assumed.

Maybe an Orange Julius or a Dairy Queen. Yeah, lingerie, maybe Victoria's Secret or something. Handing out free samples of chicken teriyaki. Right.

On spaghetti. General Tso's chicken. No, it was not that, in fact. No, I didn't know what to expect at all. I thought that there might be some sort of big baddie. I thought that it might be like a priest of some kind, because we were talking about priest stuff last time. But I was not expecting two-headed birds.

No. Many, many two-headed birds. And a cyclops. What is the cyclops? I haven't seen it yet. I was going to say, what is the cyclops. What is the cyclops? I haven't seen it yet. I was going to say, what is the cyclops wearing? Is the cyclops wearing armor? Is it robed? Or is it cash?

He's wearing a formal event. Are these figures accurate? He's wearing armor. On the table? No. I don't have the rucks. There's a couple bats, a huge butterfly. I'm going to forget what all of those are once this battle starts.

It's a menagerie. But yeah, no, I don't have the pawns for this particular breed of ruck. But the Cyclops is spot on. Oh, it is. And he has a name. So hope he grits. Is he wielding an axe?

He is wielding a great axe. Oh, that's a times three, I think. Oh, it is. It sure is. I bet he's open to negotiation. It sure is. It's also two-handed. I hope, I want to be strong.

I wonder if he'll get that strength bonus to a two-handed weapon. Jamel! I bet he's willing to sit down at this table over some nice diagrams and just hash it out like adults. Let's just sit at the table and be diplomatic about this. So Will would like to do a diplomacy check? Let's talk this out. We never talk it out. We never use our words.

Use your words. We prefer for you to die. There's just a lot happening here. I'm excited about this combat. I want to see this. I challenge you as players and as people listening to this show who want to see how do you really get a lot out of Pathfinder, I challenge you to explore the space. Really, really explore the space.

It's not going to happen. And let's have some fun. Five minutes from now, I guarantee it's a bottleneck on the stairs. Yep, exactly. Full-tech action, full-tech action, full-tech action, full-tech action. I'll do my best to play smart. And hopefully we'll kill somebody. Roll for initiative.

Oh, there it is! Ooh! Roll for initiative! And it continues for me. I rolled a natural two. Natty, tell me, Della! Matthew, Matthew. Keep drinking demon's blood.

So what does that give you total, Dells? Nine. Matthew, Matthew. Keep drinking demon's blood. So what does that give you total, Dells? Nine. Nine, Della. Umlo, who's playing Umlo this week? Who wants to step into some Umlo shoes? I'll play Umlo. You want to play Umlo, Joe? I'll play Umlo.

Joe's going to play Umlo. All right. Joe is playing Umlo. I thought we banned Joe from playing him when combat happened. I think Joe just wants to be relevant in combat. Yeah, I was going to say. I mean, if I'm going to play characters that have no powers or abilities whatsoever, I might as well play two.

He'll double his chances to do nothing. Umlo is the Joe of this game. Of this story. Of this story. What did Umlo roll? Umlo rolled an 11. An 11. An 11. To be more correct.

Sir Will? 19. 19. Sir Willamette. Nestor? 26. He's come to fight. Baron rolled a 22.

22. Gentlemen. Two. Well then, my fine-feathered friends. And by fine-feathered friends, I mean my rucks. My teddy ruckspins. Oh, my combat pad is giving me agita, just looking at it.

But we're gonna do this. It is episode 99. We're gonna party like it is. Yeah! Round one. Woo! I'm excited! Hear that, choice neighbors? Nester coin. Nestor is going to take a five foot step to his right and take a full attack action on this giant moth.

On the giant. Very confusing. The rock to his right. I only get a plus one for my study target because it's non-humanoid. That's right. You kill humans. Yes. And that is a 26 to hit.

26 flat-footed. Yeah. Okay. And that will be... 41 points of damage 41 points of damage I really I wish that I wish that Hero Lab had a many shot act like a button

on here you know fuck Hero Lab we're to keep saying shitty things about them until and unless they decide to sponsor us. It's been 99 episodes. Come on, guys. Alright, another attack. Alright, second attack. That really pierced one of their necks.

Yeah. That's a 16. 16 misses. Alright. Baron. Uh, that's a 16. 16 misses. All right. So, Baron. Uh, Baron is going to... Oh, and, sorry, make a DC 15 Fortitude save. Oh, who do you think you are?

Made it. Okay. 22. That has never worked. But when it does, it's going to be a good story moment. It sure will. It worked during an ogre, but you killed it in the same's going to be a good story moment. It sure will. It worked during an ogre, but you killed it in the same shot. It was kind of irrelevant.

He just died like seconds later. His death did make him fail that fortitude save. Yeah. That really did a hit in this constitution. All right, BearBear, what do you got, BearBear? Baron's going to take a five-foot step, making this creature two increments outside of his range increment, but I'm hoping that with the flat-footed AC bonus

or detriment that he has that I'll be able to hit. Your turns always have a lot of math. Two quick shots. I like it. That is a 19 four uh 19 against touch ace or against regular ac 19 against regular flat footed is a hit yeah so that is seven points of damage uh and this is uh excuse me this is the one that nesta shot or yeah yeah okay so you're very smart just kind of how many points of damage? Seven points of damage.

Seven points of damage. Okay. The second attack is a 13. 13 misses. Sir Will's turn. Nice, kid. Feels so good. Sir Willamette!

Sir Willamette is going to move into the room. He hears all of a sudden The bow shooting and the gun shooting And he's going to charge up the stairs Past Della Move out of the way And get himself into the room And this is the first time you're seeing what's going on This all happened kind of fast

It's not like they're whispering Two-headed vultures, cyclops You just saw like, boom, boom, and bang, bang Right, it all happened kind of fast He turns to you and he says, boom, boom, and bang, bang, and boom. Right, it all happened kind of fast. He turns to you and he says, I'm going to explore the space. And he flanks off to the left.

Matthew's so frustrated right now. Well, Joe's about to be really frustrated. Matthew, I don't do full attack action, so I'm not frustrated. I don't see why that would matter. You're still gonna be frustrated. Alright, so Sir Will comes charging up the stairs, bolts off to the left.

It is time for the rucks. Oh, I don't like... ruck? Ruck. It's time to ruck and roll. Oh. I don't like their speed Oh that's right because they fly Let's see if we can make it

40 feet here I don't think we can 1, 2, 3 4 Are you going to count to 40? This is going to take a long time That's 20 feet right? Great radio 20, 25, 30, 35, 40.

Wow. Let's see if they have 15 feet of reach, though. They may not, in which case you guys are going to get off scot-free, and they don't. Yay. All right, so the other one will close the same distance. We're kind of bottlenecking. Yeah, they're closing the distance. It's okay, though, because you're way over there.

Yeah, trying to split it up. So all of the rucks are going to do that, for the most part. That would be really scary to see all these giant, greasy two-headed vultures converging on your position. Actually, you know what? The two...

You got the one that Ness just shot. That one converges. The one behind it converges as well. The one that is up near Sir Will, that one's going to start making its way to Sir Will. I don't think it's going to get there. Can you charge while you fly? I don't see why not.

Yeah. But there's, like, dive bomb feats and stuff like that. I don't have them offhand. I don't see why you can't. If you have fly as a movement speed, you can move double your movement. Well, in that case, this one will get to attack Nestor.

This one won't. And this one will attack Sir Will. And the one behind it to the left is going to fly over the table. And the one that the Cyclops was feeding is also going to stand behind the table, and the Cyclops is going to move up behind that ruck. Make sense? So, yeah.

You can charge. So that first one that Nestor shot at just comes swooping in with a bite. They're taking a two-pronged strategy. A bite attack. 26 on the Bizite. On who? On Nestor Coin. That is a hit.

They actually don't have reach. It's all right there. All right. So it's going to be six points of damage, and it goes to grab you in its snout. Oh, come on. It is going to be a 27 to grab, mister. Yes, that gets me. So this thing just grabs you in one of its beaks.

The other beak, you can see, might want to come around next turn. Same thing happens to Sir Will. 16. Miss. No. Oh, you have plus two. Yeah, first. Boom.

Misses Sir Will. And then the other ones just position. They all come off their perches and they're just flying. And the Cyclops, very cagey, standing behind one of the rucks in the back of this enormous room. Umla. As played by Joe O'Brien. Umla is going to step up into the room and attack whatever he can attack if he can. And these things are, they're obviously of the giant subtype, right?

The creatures? Stop it. Stop it, Joe. I gave it a shot. Okay, so that's a legal move. He's going to come up. He's 15 feet away. He'll take one stab with Hart's bit.

Do it. 20 to hit. 20 hits. And this is the one that attacked Nestor? Yeah, this is the one stab with heart's bit. Do it. 20 to hit. 20 hits. And this is the one that attacked Nestor? Yeah, this is the one that charged at Nestor. He comes around the side of Baron there and does max damage. Oh! Boxcars, baby!

Woo! 16 points of damage! You might just save Nestor's life. You kill it! Yeah! And that one just drops Nestor out of its mouth. Nestor lands on his feet with his cat-like reflexes. All right. Della, rounding out round one.

That is enormous, Umlo. Yeah, that was huge. Well, look at that. Boxcars, love it. Della, tell Joe why he shouldn't have moved. Well, everyone else is just going to start to feel a little more speedy than usual. I'm going to cast haste. Oh. Yeah. All right. That's why I was saying speedy than usual. I'm going to cast haste. Oh, all right.

That's why I was saying it doesn't matter. I don't do full attack. You get double movement. Yeah, but I already have a lot of movement. All right. Listen, if you want help, go ahead. Is everyone in your range have accepted your will? Okay, so just haste. But this is evil

aligned haste now. Is that different? Does that work differently? Yes. You benefit as a fallen paladin. You get extra moves, but you're really angry. If it's evil haste instead of being fast, you're wicked fast. You're wicked fast, dude.

And then Della will then charge into the room towards Sir Will's side. So Della casts haste, and then you just move. You don't charge. Okay, Della, move in. Haste, baby. Haste. Ah!

See? Ah! That's a really good spell. Joe, you should have stayed closer to the door. I should have metagamed a little better. Let me ask you this. Is that a paladin spell you can cast on yourself? No, especially not Liberating Command, which I always had.

These things do grappling. Yep. Round two. So far, everything seems to be okay. One down. Now it's an even playing field between the Rux and the Cyclops and the TrueNOW5. Nestor coin. Yeah, I'm going to take a full attack

against the Ruck behind the one that just grabbed me. This is the other one that was swooping in. 19. 19 against regular AC. Yes. Yes. All right, hold on. 38. Yes. All right. Hold on.

38. 38 points of damage. And second attack. That many shot when that hits. Forget it. Come on. Forget it. 20.

That's a hit. My goodness. 14 damage. Okay. And third attack. 24. It's a hit. That's a hit.

18 damage. That's all it took for this one. Yeah. Boom. Chunk, chunk, chunk. Deadzo. Boom city. Yes. Deadzo.

All right. Baron. Two of us down. Five foot step. I'm just one range increment out on this guy, and I'm going to take full attack and hopefully not blow up my handbanger. Yeah. Or if you're on my side, hopefully. Ooh, that is a hit.

That's a 27. 27 is a hit. That is 12 points of damage. Okay. Second one is a 20. 20 is also a hit. 17 points of damage. Okay. Second one is a 20. 20 is also a hit. 17 points of damage. Another attack?

Oh, that's a hit. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. 16 points of damage. For Christ's sake. Last one is... You should get four attacks. Only plus four.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, re-roll. Fell off the table. Grant, you should get four attacks. Only plus four. Oh, Jesus. Reroll. Fell off the table. Grant, you should get one of these dice trays, I think. Oh, wow. That is a hit. Yes. 11 points of damage.

11 points of damage. Ouch. Sir Will, what do you got? He is going to step up here and say, Della, flank it. And he'll go total defense. Nice. All right, so Sir Will steps up to it on the back of Lexington, five foot step, and then does a total defense.

Is this the first time you've talked to Della since the incident? Yes. In the heat of combat, he's not even thinking about, like, drama. He's like, let's work together right now to get this thing down. How does that land on Della? It's battle? Della's going to do what she wants. Okay. Okay. That's like, let's work together right now to get this thing down. How does that land on Della? It's battle? Della's gonna do what she wants. Okay. Okay. That's why. Cool.

You do you, Sir Will. Real cool. Ruck five, gone. Ruck four, gone. Ruck one, about to be gone. Alright, so the one that Baron just fired at is five feet away from Sir Will. Correct? It's in melee with Sir Will, yeah. In melee with Sir Will.

All right, so that one will attack Sir Will four times. First attack, 11. Second attack, miss. Third attack, 22. Miss. Get out of here with your misses. Fourth attack. Another miss.

Yeah! Click, click, click! See, you still have your armor bonus. You're still at your tank right now. You're still a good tank. Yes. If nothing else. A tiny, tiny tank. Oh, that's right.

You went total defense. I completely forgot that when I did the attack. Still, I wasn't going to just attack Della. It doesn't know you have total defense. Any point? Okay. I kind of think it wants to get out of there, but that's going to provoke Sir Will.

You just did a full attack action. Yeah, I can do a five. It has fly-by attack, but I didn't move to begin with. You got anything else irrelevant, Pat? Yeah. It's name is Steve. Speaking it out here. I didn't move to begin with. You got anything else irrelevant, Pat? Yeah, yeah. His name is Steve. Speaking it out here.

His parents are Lutheran. All right, the other ones. It has an appraise skill. It's plus three. Let's see here. The other ones don't do anything for the time being. It is now... Yeah, anything that's gone beyond that table has been melted instantly to death.

So why go that way? Yeah, seriously. Yes, that the Cyclops is like, Stand back! Stand back! Umlo. Stand back. Umlo. Umlo is going to charge at the one that just attacked Cernun. Oh, yes.

Yes. So he will charge. And with Heart Spit, that's a 23 to hit. That is a hit. Beaudious. And he does 12 points of damage. And Umlo kills that one. Three rucksacks. Thisucksacks on a roll.

I rolled two fives this time instead of two sixes. Wow, awesome. Yowza. All right. It's actually 14. Good job. Well, you've taken care of their vanguard. Yeah.

And they have done no damage to speak of, except a little, little pinch to Nestor. Della, end of round two. What do you got? Sir Will said, Della, flag me, but now that thing's down. Now it's dead. Della's going to cast Cat's Grace on herself.

And then move farther towards the edge of the room. Alright, so she's moving around the perimeter. She's like at the wall. Further to the left, yeah. Further to the left. Round three. Sir Nestor Coyne.

He has not earned that. Green Godfrey. Let me see here. So let's see. I'm going to move to my full movement. Nestor's just walking past the corpses of these rucks as they're bleeding out.

They're still breathing. Move around to the right of the stairs around the perimeter of the room. Mirroring Della. I think I have a clear shot at the vulture thing, right? Because it's flying anyway, right? Yeah, it's going to get a plus two just because of the chair there. But you've got a clear shot. So I study it.

A relatively clear shot. Deadly aim. 19? 19 is a miss. Studies hit. Will it be enough to turn the tides? Probably not. You guys are very strong. Baron!

Baron immediately moves 40 feet, which is double his dwarven movement speed And approaches the rear of Nestor And admires it Approaches Nestor's rear I have been walking a lot 40 feet So you just move the body of that creature

Because that's what you wanted to do I saw that It's irrelevant anyway I saw you Alright so double move Baron Anything else you want to do? I saw that. It's irrelevant anyway. I saw you. All right. So double move, Baron? Anything else you want to do?

Oh, I could double move, actually. No, that's my standard move speed now. Yeah, yeah. So that's way outside of my range increments. I'm not even going to hazard a shot at that guy, so I'm going to double move. Let me ask you this. How many grip points are you sitting on? You burned a few up close and deadly against Tharg.

Two. I gained it back after I took him below zero. Booyah. So I have two points out of three left. Two grip points left. Getting a little itchy, too. Might want to rest. Get those grip points.

Have some eggs hatch on your skin. Let's rest. Let's rest right now. Let's rest right now. All right. So Baron moves 100 feet. 80 feet. I think I did that legally. Let's rest right now. All right, so Baron moves 100 feet. 80 feet. I think I did that legally. That dwarf is running full.

Okay, so Baron covers a lot of ground with that haste, and now he's making his way around to where the ruck and the cyclops are. Okay, okay, okay. Let's see what we want to do here. That was Baron, right? It's Sir Will's turn. That's cool. That's cool.

I'm going to keep things like that. That's fine with me. Sir Will, you're up. All right, Sir Will is going to... It's like, check! Yeah, Sir Will is going to double move at speed on Lexington around the circumference of the room, the outer wall. Does he have hooves? No, but I like to make him sound like he does.

You didn't give him horseshoes on his feet? No. He's comfortable with the paws. Okay. All right, so Sir Will, a lot of movement. A lot of movement. A lot of movement, but no hasted movement. All right.

It is their turn. The rock that Nestor shot at. Oh, man. You guys are so good now. I want to give you a real challenge, but you're so smart. And you've spread out there. I have to give you credit. You have spread out the arena here.

The only person who's kind of left in the lurch is Umlo, but he already killed. Yeah, Umlo's still by the stairs. Surprise, surprise. Baron and Nestor are off to the right. Della and Will are off to the left. This is where I'm like, seven stone giants come up the stairs. You just came down and killed Umlo. Yeah.

Wouldn't that be fun? It would be great. Okay, so you got Baron and Nestor, two very deadly ranged characters. So, I am going to have this one double move and get right up in your grill. Okay. And, uh, the Cyclops, this little sun gun is going to, uh, double move as well to kind of come into you guys. But I don't know if he has the movement to get right up

in your shit. He's approaching Nestor and Baron. He's approaching Nestor and Baron. Ooh. Ooh, I think he can. Yep. So he comes up as well. So they bided their time. So now Nestor and Baron are face-to-face five feet away from

the Cyclops and the Ruck. And I will actually leave the Cyclops right there. Sorry, hand was off the chest piece. If you could please move him back to where he was. He's got some reach. All right. So that's what they do. The Ruck on the other side, the one that is going to hopefully do some damage

to Sir Will and Della, he's got kind of a circuitous route, but he knows through the power of GM that those aren't ranged characters. He just swoops around, we'll assume it's a he, and comes to where, gets over to that action. I don't think he's going to be able to make any attacks, but he's going to come around. Why doesn't he just fly over the table?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. His wings are only good for long distances. Yeah. All right. So he'll do that. And I guess he can attack Sir Will. Thank you. Thank you, everybody that said so he'll do that. And I guess he can attack Sir Will. Thank you, thank you everybody that said that I could do that.

It's really not good when you guys are helping me attack you guys. All right, so it will try to attack Sir Will, and it misses, because everything misses Sir Will. Yes. But it's not smart enough to know. And it doesn't have reach, right? So it's right up on Sir Will. It's right up in your...

In my grill! Um, low. Um, low. He looks to the right. He sees the Cyclops and the bat creature? What is this? Sure. The two-headed...

Do we have to roll for his attack no matter what? Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. And the enraging of the Cyclops. Yeah. That's a good idea. And the enraging of the Cyclops. Yeah. That's a good idea. Will save, natural 20, makes it. So he's not suggested to attack the Cyclops automatically. And he's not within 30 feet of the Cyclops

for the Cyclops to be fearful of that armor. Well, he's not wearing the armor anyway. He's not wearing the armor anymore. Ah, da-da-da-da-da-da. Hmm. Who is... He's going to say Will and Della have it in hand. There's just the one ruck over there,

and so he will begin moving over this way toward Lester and Baron. It's funny how Umlo, now a veteran of a good couple dozen battles, is starting to figure out how battles work. Very interesting to see the progression of Umlo right before his untimely death at episode 100. Why wait? Just do it now. Della Narn. progression of Umlo. Yeah. Right before his untimely death at episode 100.

Why wait? Just do it now. Della Narn. Della is also faced with a similar decision. You have Sir Will, who's been nothing but a dick to her. Her best friend. Nothing but a dick to her? Nothing but a dick. That's what the record reflects. And then a convergence upon everybody

else. Alright, Della's going to get up and flank the Rook. Oh! Heeding Will's words. Swift action, Keenan shocked the Scimitar, and then she's going to take a swing. And it does not have reach, so it does not provoke moving into that space. 18 to hit. 18 misses, Delanon. Because that's... Oh, no, flanking. 20 to hit. 18 misses, Delanar.

Because that's... Oh, no, flanking. 20 to hit. Matthew! All right. I don't like it, but all right. I know you don't like it. I didn't do it on purpose. Now we're even for every 99 episodes.

So that is 1d6 plus... 2d6, 3d6, plus 6, plus my ring that we got. I'm going to go get a beer. Yeah, go ahead. I'll just keep talking. I get to do an extra d6 from that ring because I'm flanking. Oh. Twice per day.

That's like the ring you got from the Eddins? Yeah, the ring of swarming stabs. I totally forgot about that. That's awesome. You get sneak attack damage? Basically, yeah. I forgot about it for multiple episodes. Oh, that's great. That's awesome. You get sneak attack damage? Basically, yeah. I forgot about it for multiple episodes. Oh, that's great.

But I think it's only flanking, right? It's not like other sneak attack situations. Yeah. It's specifically flanking. Yeah, not for like flat-footed green. That's really, really cool. All right. What do you got, Dells?

19 damage. Nice. 19 damage. Nice. That is great. All right. All right. Interesting to see how this round is going to shake out.

It's actually cool right now because Della and Will are matched up against one, and we know it can grab one of them, but then there's somebody else there to back him up. And it's going to force one of them to possibly save the other one. Or watch them die and smile. Round four. Nestor and Baron. one right or watch them die and smile yeah round four nester and baron you've had pretty easy go of it so far i'm lois he's doing his best to make his way over there but now baron's got a rock right up in his face and actually uh so does nester so both of you will provoke on any sort of ranged attack if you don't take a five foot step Nestor coin. You know what? I think I'm going to take a five

foot step back. Highly recommend. Highly recommend. I'm going to take my full attack on the bat thing. Oh, that's funny. I thought Nestor was the other one. Baron is the one up there. 22. 22 is a hit

41 points of damage Holy lord almighty With a mini shot Second one on my second attack bonus It's a miss Third one full attack bonus 20 20 hits

12 points of damage 20. 20 hits. 12 points of damage. 12 points of damage on the second one. Not two shabs, Nestor Coin. Baron, what you got? Bang, bang. Baron's going to take a five-foot step to the right. All right. And he's going to toss in a bottle cap,

and he is going to use one of his gunslinger deeds targeting, and he's going to target the legs of the cyclops. Oh, I love it! Good, I in my head decided I wasn't going to give out any bottle caps so Grant uses all four of his. Oh!

It's an absolute massive hit. A 19 and a 13 on the dice. An absolute massive hit. Is this going to knock him prone? 12 points of damage and he is prone. Oh my goodness. No reflex save. None.

There is none written into the rule. Wow. That's it. Boom. If he had four legs, it would be different. All right, so how much damage? 12 points of damage. 12 points of damage.

So you basically sacrifice damage for an automatic prone. Yeah, I want to help out Umlo. I want to help out everyone. Just nail this dude. Yeah, that's great. Brilliant. I'm definitely going to kill you, Baron. If this fucking thing lives, I'm going to stand up and kill you.

I'm just putting that right out there. Sir Will, hurry up so I can kill Baron. Sir Will is just going to do... That was such a badass move. Sir Will is going to do total defense And let Della do the work Yeah She's going to be much more likely to do any damage

I'm rolling dice, remember that Yeah, so He's going to do total defense And just try to take its attention He's going to be like, after me Don't I look like a bunch of maggots? Never mind that William H. Macy is hovering over that man in the corner.

Alright, so... I taste delicious. Let me see. Look at these thighs. So, Will, you're just... Get me, get me, get me. Okay. I'm making it look like there's an opening,

but as soon as it moves, I'm ready to put my shield right in that opening. So I'm just making it look like I'm weak. It attacks Della. Four attacks. First attack on Della with a bite, 16 to hit. Miss. Second attack, also a miss. Here come the talons.

First talon. Ooh. 25. That's a hit. All right. It's going to be nine points of damage and goes to grab you. And grabs you. 27.

Let me know if your CMD is. Yep, that goes. All right. So gets the Talon. And the Talon, like, sinks into your skin. And it pulls you to it. It does one more Talon attack and a minus two, which will be a 19. Miss. Miss. And don't forget your AC is lowered because

you're grappled. It's also raised because of the cat's grace. Don't talk back to me. And the haste. Don't ever talk back to me. I have a 21 AC, so what'd you roll? No. You're alright, Dylan. But you are grappled. This talon is sunk into your

translucent skin. Grant, you had a question. I juston is sunk into your translucent skin. Grant, you had a question. Oh, I just wanted to throw this bottle cap at you. Oh, thank you. Please. So I can throw this right in the trash. Where is it? It's disappeared.

It's one of those clear bottle caps. I'll throw this in the trash. I don't care if it's episode 99. All right. So that ruck caused a little bit of a ruckus. Name of the episode. All right. little bit of a ruckus. Name of the episode. Alright, so this other ruck, this mother rucker, five

foot step full attack on Nestor because the Cyclops, I'm not even joking, I'm going to kill Baron. First attack on Nestor. I want to put on all my power attacks, Every possible thing I have

Alright, first attack, miss Second attack, miss Son of a chitten, motherfucking gorilla Miss! Two, three, two, alright, last attack Ah! Oh, natty 19 That's definitely a hit

Miss! God, you son of a bitch Minimum damage 5 points of damage And it tries to just Nah Oh I don't know 19 against your CMD

No that is a That's an abject failure mate Son of a bitch The Cyclops Who goes by the name of Surrog Surrog I like that name Stanza Thank you Grant The Cyclops, who goes by the name of Surog. Surog. I like that name.

Stands up. Thank you, Grant. It is very appropriate that you were the one that picked him up. Surog, wielding his mighty greataxe, uses a power known as... You know, okay. Standing up. You're not in range to hit as... You know... Okay. Standing up. You're not in range to hit him.

You know. Standing up is a move action. Move action. Okay. So I don't get the five-foot step. No. Okay. So it has one...

You can double move into his face, but you can't do a... Get out of there with me. Okay. I stepped outside of your range increment when I stepped out, so you can't attack me I'm going to move and do one attack

you can't because you got up you need to just close the gap I see what you mean it's as if Grant's strategy worked exactly how he planned right because I can't five foot step son of a bitch can you strike at someone while you're laying on the ground Right, because I can't five foot step. Son of a bitch!

Can you strike at someone while you're laying on the ground? You wouldn't be within range then either. I'm 20 feet away. Yeah, you're 20 feet away. I want to kill someone so bad. So there's literally nothing I can do. You have to roll right now to see if you attack Amlo immediately. You haven't done your well save yet. No, no.

He's not running. Oh, right. Gosh dang it. Why didn't I listen earlier? I'm still going to kill you. I'm just trying to figure out. Well, I mean, if you close the distance right up to him now, he's back against the wall. Yeah.

Yeah, damn it. I really want to swing at him. All right. You can't swing this round. Now Baron is literally cornered. Can you even attack me while you're that close? Is the reach a function of your weapon? I'm going to make it just impossible

for you to take any step right now right where I am What are you angry about, Joe? That's just Is the great axe a reach weapon? It is not, right? No So this is what we talked about before

You can attack right next to you as long as it's axe a reach weapon? It is not, right? No. Yeah, so this is what we talked about before. You can attack right next to you, as long as it's not a reach weapon. Right, but his natural reach is 10. Yeah, so it's going to get right up in your face. Yeah, we screw that up all the time. We always mess that rule up. All right, so now Baron literally cannot move anywhere and will provoke while shooting anything. You made it one more round, Baron. Let's see what's wrong.

He's going to kill you next round. Okay. You sons of bitches. Alright, Umlo seeing Baron backed into the corner is going to move to flank the Cyclops. Yeah, he can.

Totally. With haste. Yeah, with the haste. Thanks to haste. He takes the long way around. Takes the long way around. So as not to provoke. Yep.

And he's 15 feet away outside of this thing's reach. Oh, man. Heart spiack. I'm going to kill. Coming at you. Fuck yes. Heart spiack. I'm going to kill you.

Stab him right in the back. I'm going to kill. I'll kill. I'm low. That is a 21. Get out of here with that garbage. By the way, Joe, next time if you want to spend Umlo's bottle cap to make it a double bottle cap show, since we love it so much, feel free. Umlo has a bottle cap?

Oh, yeah, he does. It's right there. It's a hard one. Oh, I didn't know that. That's why I said the H for Umlo. All right. The old retroactive bottle cage. The old Humlo.

All right, Della. You're in the claws of this mighty two-headed vulture. So she's wrestling with it, so she's going to do Shocking Grasp as a punch attack. I love it. Now, does that provoke or know where you're going to wrap? You have to roll the concentration check against the opponent's... It's 10 plus the opponent's CMB plus the spell level

or double the spell level. Am I casting defensively or just rolling a straight concentration check? When you're grappled, you have to roll a concentration check to cast a spell. Okay, so you tell me the DC and I'll do the roll. It's just his CMB. Grappled or pinned while

casting is 10 plus the grappler's CMB. Plus? That's it. That's all it says on concentration checks. 10 plus the grappler's CMB? Yeah. Plus the spell level, I would think. It doesn't say plus the spell level.

No, it's not plus the spell level because other things say plus the spell level. So when you're grappled, it's just 10 plus my CMB. No, it won't. All right. Well, then I'll roll. CMB is lower. And I'll throw in a spell load. So when you're grappled, it's just 10 That's going to be pretty high. plus my CMB. No, it won't. All right. Well, then I'll roll. And I'll throw in a bottle cap. And if you fail, you lose the spell.

I'm going to throw a bottle cap in. All right. Roll twice. And now how many do you have left? Bottle caps? Yeah. Zero. All right.

Now this is what I like. Bottle cap economy. Oh, natural 20. Automatic. Not automatic, but it might as well be. I got to succeed on a touch attack 91 who wants to read the card I

Troy's like a kid I thought skin red he I got all excited. He literally pranced off his seat to get to the card. Oh, I wish you were right next to the Cyclops. I wish... Why? It's called Why Me. Why Me.

The name of Matthew's next play. Is that joke still good a week later? I think it is. It's the last line in the play. Why me? Why? Why? I've got to see this play. Sounds pretty good.

You provoke attacks of opportunity from all threatening foes. Oh, sure will. Here's the thing. I'm grappled. I'll hit her. I'm grappled with you, so I'd have to release the grapple.

But, sir, you're welcome to attack her. No, I'm good. I'm good. All right, Della, you got off easy. You didn't lose the spell. You burned your bottle cap, but you did fail. Yeah, so my hand

is still charged. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, because you made the concentration check and just couldn't touch. I couldn't get a good, like, I couldn't get around

and get a good hand on him. Why me? Why me? Why me? Why me? I mean, that's a good question for me as a human being to ask. Why? I got the natural, I put, that's a good question for me as a human being to ask.

Why? I got the natural. I put it through in a bottle. Yeah, the 120 you get is on a concentration check. I probably would have made the concentration check on my other roll, too. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

I guess the world will never know. Round five. Really interested to see how this shakes out. Really hoping for something juicy. But I got my two ranged characters. Back to back. Nestor, what do you got? All right, I'm going to take a five foot step back and to the left.

What was that again, Skip? And to the left. One more time? Back and to the left. I see you now. And I took my first many shot attack against this creature. That's a hit. I take my first many-shot attack against this creature.

That's a hit. So many dice. 28 damage. And this was the one you were attacking last turn. That one is dead now. Yes. Which may provide the window that Baron needs. I wish he wasn't dead. And I'm going to

take my second full attack bonus attack. Now, can you restudy a target? Yeah, I can do two. Per turn. I can have two at any one time, and it's a swift action. So I take a swift action to study this jerk. He has a name, you know. I don't remember it.

And that's 28. 28 to hit. And that's 28. Surrog. 28 to hit. Surrog. That is a hit. All right. Damage.

That's 18 damage. Okay. Okay. And my third attack. Damn. 16. Shit. Awesome.

Baron, any last words? Now, if you're watching this at home, Baron is stuck between a rock and a hard-on here. He has no room to move anywhere without provoking. He can five-foot step back, but that still would provoke when he tries to shoot. He is in a real pickle. I'm going to full withdraw.

Full withdraw back. I think he's still taking the time, though. Still provoke, yeah. Still provoke. Just one, though. From the big baddie. Oh, okay. Then I will take a...

Well, I won't even take a... I'm not even going to take a five-foot step, because I'm going to provoke either way, right? But I think you provoke every single shot. Okay. Or if you withdraw, you only provoke one time. Okay. What would Emmett Smith do if he were here?

I'm going to move 20 feet away from the giant. And hopefully, can I do an acrobatic check as I leave to attempt to avoid the attack of opportunity? Yeah, I believe you can, right? Okay. I don't see why not. Do what? Acrobatics check to avoid the attack of opportunity. Not if you're wearing medium armor.

Are you wearing light armor? Medium armor right now. I changed into that plate of the whatever. So, 20 feet away, I take my attack of opportunity. Go ahead, Troy. Okay. Okay. opportunity. Go ahead, Troy. Okay.

It's going to use as an immediate action a power known as Flash of Insight. Which allows you to choose what the die is.

And I choose a 20. Are you kidding me? No. You just have to choose your roll. Are you kidding me? No. You just have to choose your roll. Yep. Now I have to roll to confirm. But you get to choose as an immediate action. Once per day?

Once per day. Oh my gosh. I told you I was going to fucking kill you. Oh, Jesus Christ. With the great axe? Times three crit. I'm going to disadvantage you with one of my bottle caps. Ah, yeah. That's a good use.

That's a good use. I got two out of them. This is a win-win. One left. I can't lose. He gives me all his bottle caps. All right, roll 5d20. Take the lowest.

All right. Papa needs a new pair of shoes here. I'm using old neon green and little sister green here. She's good. Octomarine green. Here we go. At his highest attack bonus, a times three crit for a name cyclops. Come on, Twatis.

A 24. Miss. Wait, is it 24 miss? Yeah. Oh, well then they both miss. It's still a hit. It's still a max damage. Unconfirmed 20 So it is Sadly

Only 28 points of damage Could be worse That could have been quite a bit worse That could have been Brutal Flash You guys should all build Cyclopses

They're fun Baron's going to spend his last bottle cap I'm giving them all in. I love it. I know. Hey, it's episode 99. Tonight we're going to party like a... Did you bring this one from home, Grant?

Never seen this clear one. All right, so, Baron, you moved. You full withdraw, didn't you? Or you just moved 20 feet? No, I moved 20 feet. Because if I'm going to take the attack, I'm going to... Yep, and moving only provokes once. I'm using my final grip point to shoot him in the fucking legs

yeah worked once yeah got 15 on the die touch AC 14 points of damage and he's down he's down I want to read the and he can't follow up emails that say that he gets a reflex save. But I will guarantee you kill Baron in episode 100. Alright. Damn it, Baron. That was good.

You threw everything. You threw the kitchen sink. Would the other attack have hit had you not used the bottle cap? You rolled seven on the die. Seven plus... Well, that's with rapid shot. Against touch? Yeah. You're just making sure. Uh, seven plus, uh, well, that's with rapid shot. Against touch? Yeah. Against touch, yeah.

So you're just making sure. I respect that. But you know who I don't respect? Sir Will, you're up. Oh, man. I need a segue, sir. Sir Will, seeing Della grapple, is going to drop his Highbury Lance. Uh-huh.

Sh-ing! Sh-a-quing! Draw a rose light. Oh! And, uh... Provoke. Just kidding. Say, Delano! For the rose!

And the light! And take one swing, 20. 20. To hits. Yes. 20 to hit, and he does a whopping three points of damage. Yes! Three points of damage with a rose light.

They don't count heart. They don't count heart in damage rolls. They certainly don't, Sir Will. They certainly don't. I think the louder you yell, the more damage it should be. That makes sense to me. All right. All right.

Actually, sorry. You know what? I do get a second attack. Yeah, sorry. You know what? I do get a second attack. Yeah, I'm going to take a second attack. I forgot. Rather than move. It's just hard to hit. Is it move action to draw the sword?

Oh, yeah. You're right. That's why I didn't do it. You're right. Thank you. Matthew still. I would have missed anyway. Still cutting you down.

All right. Teacher's pet. It is the Ruck's turn. The one that has Della in its talons. I thought it was in its beak. In its talons. No, it latched a talon into you. It goes to maintain the grapple.

Maintain the grapple. And it does a power known as snatch. Where it just takes you in its talon and fucking flings you across the room oh whoa 1d6 times 10 feet oh shit whoa and that's the damage you take that is a cool power 1d6 times 10 damage you take 1d6 per 10 feet traveled 40 feet. You fly. Which way? In a really advantageous way. And you take You only take

26 of damage. It tosses me over the table? Yeah, right over the table. That's cool. That's pretty awesome. It throws you over the table. That's kind of fun. And you take

6, 7, seven, eight, nine, and two sixes. Fifteen points of damage. What a cool power. Snatch. One of its head talons just flings you. I've never seen that. That's so fun. Snatch and grab.

Alright, that other ruck is dead, so all that's left is Surrog. And the ruck that just flew down, flung Della. All right. I feel like he can stand up and attack. He will provoke from Umlo, though. That's right.

Be aware. He can't reach Baron. Baron purposely stood outside of his reach area. That's not where he fell? I was 20 feet away from him at the time. You can't get within. He definitely wasn't over here. No, I put Umlo 15 feet away from him.

Yeah, he was right there. He was right there? Yeah. So he will stand up and provoke from Umlo. All right, Umlo takes a swing. Is getting up, does he take the minus four to AC while he's getting up? I don't believe so. From being prone?

I don't believe so. Can you give me that one? I split it at negative two. 22. 22 misses. I figured. What do we want to do here? I mean, you got these guys that are just blasting away.

He knows. This guy has intelligence, unlike these rucks. Who are actually very wise. I feel like I want to keep closing. Are we going to feel bad about killing the rucks by the time this is all through with? They're neutral good rucks. The rucks are being held captive here by Surog, the ruck torturer. Oh, no!

No! All right. So, yeah, we'll just move there. Okay. All right, so he's just... Now it's Baron and Nestor facing... Side by side. Side by side in front of this Cyclops

who may have just signed his death warrant, but he believes in himself, almost ferociously so. Umlo, you're up. Umlo's like right behind. You could do a charging stab in the back. He's like, I'm gonna charge this giant right in the back. Bottle cap.

And he will use his bottle cap. Umlo cap. This is the most bottle caps used in an episode. Let's get a Natty Twanzo. Come on. Level up. For Anglo.

Level up. Natty 16. That's going to be a hit. That's going to be a hit. That's going to be 25. 25 hits. Natural seven on the other one. Hits with the...

So, 4D6? Oh, my... I just rolled three sixes on 3D6. Oh, wow. Here's the 4D6. That's a one. Had's the fourth d6. I won. I won. Had to even out.

Yeah, but that's 23 points of damage. Wow. Umlo has been incredibly effective this combat. He's been awesome. Yeah. I feel like Umlo knows that it's episode 99. He's feeling it, man. And he's ready to party like it.

All right, Della. Della just got... Della is going to stand up, and then she's going to scramble up on top of the table. Ah, all right. That's your action, Della. Okay. How are we doing on haste rounds?

What round is it? It's going to be the top of round six. I believe... There's two left. Yeah, it's seven rounds, right? I think it's seven. It's your one round the top of round six. I believe... There's two left. Yeah, it's seven rounds, right? I think it's seven rounds. It's your one round per level? So you get it for Bard and Magus levels.

Magus is level seven. Ah. All right, round six. Nestor. Yeah, seven rounds. Baron. Toe to toe. Face to face.

With Surag. Keeper of the rocks. Okay, so if I take a five-foot step back with his reach, he would still get an attack of opportunity, right? Correct, but then he wouldn't on Baron. Yeah, so I'm going to go ahead and... Unless he has combat experience. I'm going to take a five-foot step and go ahead and do a full attack on him.

That is brutal. Okay, I am going to take the... This guy's seen the damage you can do, so I will take said attack action. Okay. And use Flash of Insight. No. Wait, no. Stop.

Ooh, 30 to hit. That's a hit. Hits old coin. This guy hits like a freight train. For, oh, not too, too bad. 17 points of damage. All right. Could have been worse.

Great Axe just. Okay. All right, coin. What do you got? What do you gote just... Okay. All right, go ahead. What do you got? What do you got going? So, first attack, many shots. 23? 23 hits.

Okay, awesome. Damn it. 37 damage. 37 damage 37 damage you hit him with many shot and Nestor you're a worldly man I feel like this thing should be dead but it isn't

it ain't what do you got attack number 2 alright let me take my second It ain't? It ain't. What do you got? Attack number two. All right. Let me take my second. Is it a ferocity situation? 34 to hit. 34 hits.

22 damage. And you killed him. Yeah! He did have ferocity. That's nester for you. I tried. Flash of insight. Come on.

That's pretty cool. That was awesome. That and the fling. The fling, right. Keep keeping it real. Wish I could do a Wilhelm scream. These rucks, they're actually rucks out of Bestiary 4,

so they got new powers that we really haven't dealt with in a lot of our games but that's more cannon fighter top Baron what he got oh right we still have a rock alive rocks alive rocks alive there are rocks alive

in here am I can I do a quick perception check to be certain he's dead I don't want to oculus situation absolutely yeah that's just being smart that's learning from your mistakes 17 Can I do a quick perception check to be certain he's dead? I don't want an Oculus situation here. Absolutely, yeah. That's just being smart. That's learning from your mistakes. 17.

17. He looks like he's dead. You just saw Nestor light him up. But, you know, you don't know. In your experience, they don't have regeneration, but this guy had ferocity. I'm going to shoot him once and then move 40 feet. Okay. 26 to hit.

11 points of damage. Echoes throughout the chamber and just that bullet wound just explodes with blood. Covers Nestor's chest. Gross. And stay down. Sir Will. Face to face with a rock. Yeah, it's all up in his face.

Sir Will is like, Yomadai, protect me! Please. I'm so sorry. He's taken some damage, but he hasn't taken Nestor Baron level damage, so they've just kind of been

chip, chip, chip, chip, chipping away at him. I'm so sorry. Missed. He takes a swing, and he does, 25. 25 will hit.

To hit. Will hit. And he does five points of damage. Okay. And then he swings desperately again. Chip, chip, aroo. 17 to hit. And he does five points of damage. Okay. And then he swings desperately again. Chip-chip-a-roo. 17 to hit.

17 misses. Figured. But then, hearing the desperation in his voice, Lexington is going to attack. What? Lexington's going to do a bite attack. Get out of here. A desperate bite. Come on, Natty Twins.

What a badass move. Come on, baby. Let's do it a bite attack. Get out of here. A desperate bite. Come on, Natty Twins. What a badass rule. Come on, baby! Let's do it! Natural three. Natural three. God damn it! Well, you know what? Man.

Four attacks on Lexington. Oh, come on! First attack. Oh. 23. Miss. Get out of here. 23 misses, Lexington?

Miss. You got crazy good armor. he has heavy armor second bite miss talon uh 21 damn it next talent now they all miss four attacks fight by talent talent miss miss miss i'm sorry wait i was miss miss miss i'm sorry i screwed up 23 is exactly a hit well i get to reroll all those other attacks. I'll allow it. Alright, so it attacks Lexington. It hits once for nine points of damage. Oh, and you know what? That means it gets

a grab on Lexington. And it will attempt to grab and it is a 25 against Lexington CM Dizzle. That is successful. Alright, so it bites into Lexington's skin, grabs a chunk of its fur, and now it has Lexington grackled. This is why I tell them not to attack.

Umlo, what do you got? Nothing. Yeah, Umlo's got nothing. Della, you're over there. What can you do? Umlo's going to jump onto the table to start running crazy dwarf style. Crazy. Across the table, just kicking off all the silverware.

The whole way. I like when Joe plays Umlo. He's just like a mess of a person. Stuffing things in bags. Remember the treasure? That was the best Umlo moment for my money of the entire running podcast. Take it all and let him see you do it. Take it all and let him see you do it.

That's right, let him see you do it. Della, what do you got? Della seeing Sir Will and Lexington in danger is going to... There's these weird thoughts in her mind ever since she drank the blood and she's going to do the best thing she can think to do, which is step over here

and cast lightning bolt. Oh, it has not been 24 hours. So she's going to do the best thing she can think to do, which is step over here and cast Lightning Bolt. Oh, it has not been 24 hours. So she's going to move so she can get the ruck in a straight line without getting Sir Will in Lexington. I literally thought you were saying because you drank the blood, you were going to get Sir Will in the line. I was like, oh my god. I just keep having these funny thoughts. Yeah, that's a clean shot that will only hit the creature. I believe it's a ranged touch attack.

No, no, it's a reflex for half. Ah, reflex, so it's automatic. Okay, it goes for the reflex save. 19. Does it have improved evasion? Stop it. No, it does not. That should make it. It makes it. Okay, so half damage. So I just see Della has

these visions of what the Oculus could see and what the Oculus thought. These weird urges. Clouds. Stormborn thoughts clouding her brain. How appropriate. How much damage? You take 15 points of damage. 15 points of damage.

And you kill the rock. Yeah! Nice! Before it can snatch and toss Lexington. Awesome. And you kill the rock. Yeah! Nice! Oh, my gosh. Before it can snatch and toss Lexington. Awesome. Answer will. They're so right.

Awesome, yeah. I love it. So Will's like, no! That's just going after Lexington, and then just a lightning bolt. Hold on, hold on. There's a dark black stain on the wall. You just hear, like, the thunder, like, rippling. I am overwhelmed by all these bottle caps I have in front of me. Yeah, we did the thunder like rippling. I am overwhelmed by all these bottle caps I have in front of me.

Yeah, we did cash in a lot on that. We went all in. Troy. What's this one? That's the last bottle cap. That's the one I turned in. Yeah! Oh, I love when you guys turn them in. You know what would make us turn them in more? If you gave more out. You're not wrong.

Alright. Heat of battle. Not a super tough battle, but Baron can tell you that could have gone out of the way fast. The Rucks weren't going to do a lot of damage. If they could have grappled more, but with the ranged characters they can just do so much damage before the Rucks

even get within range to do this snatch grapple i was trying to do that snatch toss since the beginning of the combat that thing was that was really um but it just shows you you guys are too strong for this line of defense huge ass room 150 by 150 maps, hand-drawn diagrams, papers laying about, and dead bodies. What do you do? Well, the first thing Nestor does is he walks over, kind of like limps over to Umlo. And, you know, he's wounded and everything.

And he has this kind of like sheepish look on his face like you've never you've never seen him like it looks like contrite and he comes up to umlo and he says uh listen mate i know we were we got like uh in a bit of a row earlier, but I just wanted to say you, well, you say me right there. I mean, I was, I was in that thing's mouth and you,

you took it down. And I think that that was a key to all that. Like I was able to, I just want to say that I, I respect you. Like you've, you, you're a,

you're a, you're a, you're a, you're a true warrior. I know you don't think of yourself as one, but you're a true warrior. I know you don't think of yourself as one, but you're a true warrior. I respect you. And you're an honour to your ancestors. I don't know if that's the right thing to say or not. But I just...

Yeah, so... Umlo jumps off the table. Boldly lands on the guy in front of Nestor. Boom. Steal a hand. Yeah, he just kind of looks at him seriously, contemplating what he said, gives just kind of a hard nod,

and is like, it's nothing you wouldn't have done for me. I know it. And he holds out his hand in like a, you know, kind of a hard nod and it's like, it's nothing you wouldn't have done for me. I know it. And he holds out his hand in like a, you know, kind of slap hands, holds his hand for a second and then just walks away. Right. And I know it's still, I'm not as charming as I like to be,

but I'll just say, I promise you right now, if we run across some more of these magics that get us back to normal, it's all yours. I'm just going to say that. It's, I understand. You're, uh, we need you. We need you strongest. I believe that. I do.

Alright, mate. Well, let's, it's not getting mushy. Let's just look at, let's see what we've got here. Let's hug it out. Later, later. A quick hug. Alright. Alright. And then, later. A quick hug. All right. All right. And then Nestor and Umlo hugged, said the narrator. That's brilliant.

I didn't think he'd say that. Lot going on in this room. Lot going on. The stench of bodies. You know, now that all the bodies, or at least the body of Surag and the bodies of the Rux have fallen, the only thing staring you in the face are these severed heads on top of spikes. If anything, it looks like you can tell the flesh has been stripped from what's left of their skulls,

probably just used as food for the rocks. Gross. Very gross. Who were these people? Did they have families? Are they medium-sized humanoid heads? Yes. Or are they giant heads?

And they're almost like, they're irrecognizable. They can't be like, Steve? Were any of the bodies in the throne room headless? No. No.

So, can Baron react or are you still explaining? No, no, no, no. Tell me what you want to do. There's a lot going on here. So, first of all, Baron wants to grimly take

all of the medium humanoid heads and say a blessing of Torag over them to give them some sort of rest. And then he's going to grimly, with no pleasure in his eyes, walk over to the Cyclops we just defeated. I thought you said, I was going to say, it's Gormley. Gormley. Not grimly. Oh, jeez. Oh, it said grimly. Oh, jeez. Oh oh jeez oh it said grimly oh jeez

oh jeez Howie the green stinging scorpion sneaks out of Baron's duster and gives him a little kiss on the cheek

I missed it Howie and then Baron proceeds to remove the head to decapitate the cyclops and he doesn't know

if he's going to resurrect himself it's largely a self defense mechanism but he's also going to put it on the spike and write for Abria

on him very interesting leaving a trail of disaster in your wake okay what are the rest of you doing I'm going to take a look at these papers yeah Della would like to do so as well it's weird there's like Okay, what are the rest of you doing? I like it. I'm going to take a look at these papers and see what's...

Yeah, Della would like to do so as well. Yeah, it's weird. There's like, on the table itself, there's several giant-sized ledgers. They shop at the giant staples, clearly. And sheets of parchment just lying scattered all over the conference room table. A quick glance, it looks like primarily...

Is there like an LCD TV and a webcam? A whiteboard? Is there a microphone in the middle of the table? This is actually the video conference room. Is there a pitcher of water on the side? A bunch of small glasses? You know, a quick glance at the ledgers on the table, it looks like rosters of giants who have been, like, passed, who have been recruited into the Storm Tyrant's army.

And then, so there's that. Does it have, like, stats and stuff? Does it have, like, informational character sheets? Well, no, I'm serious. Like, does it have information about them that is... Yeah, it's like... Like their race, their blood type.

Sometimes it'll be name, but definitely race, and, like, a brief description of how they did in the pits. Yeah. And, like, specialties. What their weapon of choice is. You it's it's pretty detailed wins above replacement overtime losses batting average with runners in scoring position true plus minus uh and so wins above replacement giant We're nerds about ever. And so along with these sort of rosters, you also see logistics reports, like dealing with how to supply such a large number of giants.

That's what's on the tables. Okay. So Baron and Nestor are looking at those. Maybe Della and Sir Will. Buddies again. Maybe not. Maybe. Looking at the walls.

Maybe they're opposites of the room. And the walls have, like I said, maps and drawings detailing the surrounding region, including Minderhals Valley. And what looks like the location of other giant strongholds in the Mindspin Mountains. Ooh. Intel. Nice. One of the diagrams really stands out from the rest, if nothing else, because of its fantastical nature. It doesn't look like it was drawn by a child, but where everything else is like maps of the valley,

or maps of like, there's a stronghold here, a stronghold here. This one just kind of sticks out because it depicts a huge castle floating on a cloud. Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, do you know what that is? I sense that it's a pretty big objective of ours. Oh man. I'm guessing how accurate any of this information is though. It's hard to tell because most of it's hand. So it's all in the mists. Yeah.

It's not like we have Simon. But it's like drawn. We have a storm tyrant. But it's like drawn by a child. No, but it's just like, it just seems so, a castle on a cloud. Like a doodle. Yeah. What if Othdan, you remember Othdan?

Yeah, I've forgotten. What if he sells his cow to get some magic beans like Jack and the Bean Swallow? It flies up to the top, and we find Othdan on top of the throne, and he's the storm tyrant all along? Oh, boy. Yeah, so there's a lot going on. These are cursory glances. Yeah. Now, you guys share this information with each other.

How do you want to dig in? Should we take them with us? Well, there's also stairs going up, right? This is Intel. I know. We should take all this shit. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we should be rolling this stuff up and putting it in the giant bag.

Little poster tubes. They look like paper towels. I mean, we also have to search the bodies in the room. We'll have to search the bodies in the room. Yes. We love to do that. Sir Will would like to, because he's small, he would like to go, like, walk the full length of the table underneath the table. Like, looking up under it, see if there's anything hidden, any hidden compartments in the table. Oh, my God, there's so much gum under here. Exactly.

Roll a perception check. Three. Three. It's dark in there. God! A lot of gum. I thought that was a good idea. It was a good idea, just not for you.

Yeah. Can we search the body of the Cyclops? Sure, nothing of interest. And obviously the Rooks weren't wearing necklaces of fireball. So what else is cool in the room? Well, you know, the heads on the spikes you guys dealt with, or Baron dealt with, and then you killed everything else. The staircase going up, and then there's, like, piecing all this information together,

depending on how much time you want to spend, like, really digging in. Can I detect magic on the room? Sure. To narrow down any auras? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nothing. Okay. Sir, we'll do a quick cursory check of the perimeter for secret doors in the wall.

Yeah, I'm going to do that as well. Okay, perceptions all around. I'm low, too. 22. Pointless to roll. Yeah, I mean, Nestor, you feel pretty confident looking around, and you don't see anything. The only way out is two ways out.

Down? Yeah, I mean, this should just be open air on the outside, right? Like where we're at right now in the tower. Yeah, you see the countryside. The outside of the tower should just be open air on the outside, right? Like where we're at right now in the tower. Yeah, you see the countryside. The outside of the tower should just be open air. You look out the windows, and you can see, you know, the sort of long house that was on the other side of the cathedral. You can see on top of it. Like, there's no second floor to that. So you know that. I mean, Della kind of knew that as well but you see that and then you know if you

would have you can't like peek your head out the window but if you were to look out and down you would see where all the giants were gathering that where you guys came up but this looks out on the north and the south um it's beautiful if it were, it's such a horrible, horrible place. Baron's going to sidle up alongside Sir Will and he's going to look at him and take a look at Lexington, Pat Lexington on the head. And he's going to say to him, I haven't been as good of a cohort as I should have been to you, sir, Will. And I probably should have said something with all that demon's blood stuff. But I'd like to give you something while you're finding your way that helps guide me and focus me as we went into Menderhall's Valley. guide me and focus me as we went into Menderhall's Valley. And he takes the brooch he got from Aubrey's grandmother and offers it to him as additional protection.

And he says, I'd like this to protect you because I haven't always done such a great job being a teammate as I should have. Sir Will takes the pen, the pendant, and you can see his eyes start watering. And he's trying to not do anything, but it's just welling up. He can barely contain it.

And he's just like, you were right. It was my fault. And I'm going to make it right. I will. And I think I need your help. So I thank you. And he's just kind of like looking at the ground.

He can't even look up. Because he's just so embarrassed. Like this is someone who is praying to Torag over these bodies and who is invoking Torag to, what did we do last time, in the room with the priests, you know what I mean? And he feels lost. Like he should be sanctifying that room. He should be doing things to pray over these bodies and these people, but he feels lost right now and he sees this now all of a sudden

religious leader in Baron, not just a martial leader or a marksman. It's a whole different level, and he's just like, yeah, so he basically is saying, I can't do it myself. Something is wrong. Something's broken,

and I can't fix it myself. So he takes the pin, and he puts it on. And now that he knows he has some help, he feels a lot more confident. Grant, you were in this, buddy. Oh, no. He got it right back. I can't believe I'm giving you another one. This is bottle cap to loser. That's good role playing. Well done. That is a barren bottle cap, no. He got it right back. I can't believe I'm giving you another one. This is bottle cap palooza.

That's good role playing. Well done. That is a Baron bottle cap, too. And so Baron just walks away and says, I know you can do it. That's it. That's some good leadership. Sure is. All right.

So there's a lot going on in this room. You take these documents. Maybe, like, next rest, you can start digging through them. Like, this isn't the time. You don't know if any shots got off. Yeah, that was another thing I was going to say. I'm so bad at looking for stuff,

I was just going to keep an eye on the stairs. Or at least listen to see if I can hear anything up there. Alright, so you take as much of this stuff as you can and you got this handy haversack this is way a lot so you just kind of like are you ripping stuff off of the wall yeah yeah yeah rolling it up yeah all right so you clear the place out of information which is smart it's like that's so awesome we'll deal with this best stuff yeah this is intel this is the most

valuable stuff yeah some of it does look very crudely drawn. You don't know, like, is this to scale? But there's other stuff that looks like books you can pour through. Just put it in the bag. We'll sort it out later. Right. What do you do now? I guess we've got to go up, right?

Yeah. I mean, is a rest necessary right now? Where do these stairs go? Della doesn't have many spells left available. Not that I think we can just plop down a rest? Where do these stairs go? Della doesn't have many spells left available. Not that I think we can just plop down and rest here. I'm just trying to gauge where we're at as a party with resources and all that stuff. I could use

a rest, but I don't know if we can. It doesn't make sense. That's what I was saying when Troy said, you didn't rest before you came up here? I was proud of you. Not questioning you so much. I don't know. It doesn't make much of a difference to me, obviously, because I don't have any powers.

But I have one power that I could renew. So I recuse myself. If I hit myself with this wand a bunch of times, which I'm going to have to do anyway if we rest, I can go up. I'm okay with it. I mean, I just won't have buffing abilities for us. My healing abilities are going to be... I have to heal myself a little bit right now. So, I mean, I understand.

But yeah, but this room, this in-between two floors of pure evil, it doesn't seem like a great place for us. I could use some healing, definitely. And also the reality is now you've left your mark. So you have to think to yourself, there's a Cyclops, dead Cyclops, dead rocks, a Cyclops head on a thing,

and all the intel has been sold. You're on the clock. You think you can just go back to the Oculus's tent and rest. We'll come back tomorrow and no one will be the wiser. Sure, but let's make it quick. Let's heal up then quick and explore upstairs quick. Do we want to heal up off pause for healing? Yeah.

Pause for healing. All right. Uh, Oh, you know, actually someone, I don't know if I should say this on air, but some,

someone wrote, wrote in saying that they have a house rule. I saw that guy. You see that? Yeah. It was interesting. Like if you're resting, you just,

you assume that you get maximum dice on all your healing so it's like you roll an 8 on every die like whatever like if you're resting like if you're in a combat situation it's not like our original rule

where you get all your hit points back but you get like max max heal yeah max channels max wands I mean that makes wands

last a lot longer yeah so you get 3d6 channel when you were channeling so you'd be 18 channel for everybody yeah

you need healing I mean yeah it is interesting channel when you were channeling? So you'd be 18 channel for everybody. Yeah. You need healing? I mean, yeah. It is interesting. Only when you're resting. But it's a good way to... It's a middle ground. Yeah. All right.

Nine and... But so far we have not been in the death store because of playing by the rules. Okay. We're already modifying it with the plus condoms. Do you need some wanding? I'm down 20 still. All right. And then I'll hit you with the wand. We're already modifying it with the plus condoms. Do you need some wanding? I'm down 20 still. And then I'll hit you with the wand.

Two. Switch die. Five. Okay, thank you. Alright, what are these wands at now? Sorry, can I get one hit on Lexington? Yeah.

Make it a good one. Six. Okay, that's good. Baron's Wand, formerly Sir Wills, is ten charges left. Good. I had to use a Pearl of Power to do the Infernal Healing on myself, and I am... We're just skipping

over that action like it was nothing? Yeah. Wait, you also have a Pearl of Power? I have two Pearls of Power. We have two? I have two level ones. You have the was nothing. Yeah. You also have a Pearl of Power? I have two Pearls of Power. We have two? I have two level ones. You have the level three.

Okay. By the way, the one thing the boards were unanimous about is that you were a jerk from taking it from me. That's very true. Yeah, it is.

It is. I'm waiting for that. You got to earn that back. I have a plan. Let's back this up here. We were just like, and yeah, I used Infernal Healing.

So you used Infernal Healing. I did. Nestor needed healing. Lex have a plan. Let's back this up here. We were just like, and yeah, I used Infernal Healing. So, you used Infernal Healing. I did. Yeah. Nestor needed healing. Lexington needed healing. I used the Pearl of Power to recall. Just wanted to make sure that it got on here. I used the Bard spells to cure Nestor. Okay. We're hurt. I just want to make sure we know that

Nestor, excuse me, Calabras' dream meant nothing to you. Can I... She didn't drink the blood again she's still thinking about that that's true what do you got baron i just want to know i don't know if i can because i don't have like detect evil as an orison i do a fireball um totally different spell but uh i know it seems self-evident but i'm just trying to get an aura or a vibe off of what magic happens when he does Demon's Blood. So I don't think Baron even thought about that necessarily the first couple of times. Yeah, I mean, it's pretty dark.

You know, mechanically, you can't detect evil, sure. But like... It's conjuration, if that's what you're wondering. You sense the presence of great evil. You sense the presence of a devil coming. I mean, it's no different than raising the dead and commanding them. It's the same level of evil. And it's also, you know, it's not demon's blood.

It's devil's blood, yeah. We've been getting that wrong. I cleared that up a couple of fodders ago because I really don't care. It's evil. It's awful. It's terrible. That's what I'm really. And they're diametrically opposed, but yes.

Yeah. We started saying demon's blood instead of devil's blood. Yeah. It's because it's demon souls. I blame demon souls. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, Baron, that's something. It's got to be off-putting to you.

Did you take the healing at all? I did once, and then I thought better of it. All of them felt better. Yeah, yeah. The whole them felt better at one point. But Baron had the strength. God, Del is so excited. Baron had the strength to know that that wasn't for him. Sir Will is a weak little man.

He's like Ned Flanders' kids. He's so sheltered and the second he gets exposed to something like like soda yeah

like the pixie sticks like give me that smelly head I miss mommy alright so what what do you guys do now uh I

go upstairs yeah upstairs same you want to do Nestor Baron Umlo Della yeah

this is episode 99 we're gonna push this A little bit Nice I can't be like See ya Alright so Nester Baron

Umlo Dells Little Willie in the back You guys wanna stealth? Yeah I'll let Nester go ahead Alright so we'll go Nester Solo

Baron Nester solo stealth Umlo Della He's just better. I'll say that. He's better at stealthing. Are you happy? Now I am.

All right. We'll see. It's a shame you don't have other skills, Baron. Yeah, really. That was a natural one. So that's 17. Jesus Christ. Still a 17 So Nestor just sneaks up there

And like Will can hear him in the back It's like that doesn't sound like him But You do not Hear anything And it doesn't seem like You alerted anyone to your presence In the next room.

You get to the top of the stairs, and the room appears to be empty. It is an identical in size circular chamber to the one you were just in. But unlike the last one that had the L-shaped table, the conference room table, and the giant chairs, and the heads on spikes, and two-headed vultures, this one is divided into two very distinct areas. Also, like the one downstairs, there are great arched windows encircling the perimeter of the room, offering an even more impressive panoramic view of the mountains and the valley below. So now you can really see out. If you look close enough, you can probably see the gate where you fought the Smilodons,

the Etten and the Hill Giant. You're really squinted. Can we see if Reginald's still there? Reginald is dead. He was killed by a rift rake. She's dead. To the northwest. So, to your left.

I tied her up out there a week ago. I know. She's probably starved to death. So awful. What's Sam's horse's name? Bill? Old Bill. Old Bill.

Old Bill. Slap her ass and send her on her way. To the northwest, Nestor, which is directly to your left, stands a table and half a dozen chairs sized for giants. Sorry, Sir Will. Sorry, Sir Will. To the southeast, so far side of the room to your right, is a huge box bed. Oh. Filled with a pile of fresh straw covered with wool blankets and the furry pelt of a massive dire bear lying against one of the walls.

Hanging on the wall? Mm-hmm. Okay. Three coffers of polished stone stand near the bed. And to the south, so directly to your right, is a massive stone

tub filled with water, along with several huge water barrels. And of course, on the opposite side of the room, is a second flight of stairs going up. Oh, shit. So you've got a conference room, a smaller table,

a bed, a tub, three coffers, stairs, beautiful view of Minderhals Valley. I, like, wave the rest of the party up clank clank clank I watch the tubs right there

I check out the tub perceive it 18 perception it's bath water you're in someone's personal chambers. Can we see if there's anything in the bed from where we are? Yeah, by now

you're into the room. There's nothing. It appears empty. Check out the coffers. Yeah, the stone. It's on the dwarves. Send in the dwarves. They're pretty heavy. You'd think they'd probably weigh hundreds of pounds each.

Even the lid would be probably hard to lift. But do like a couple of you try to open them? Yeah. Okay, so the strongest among you

25 pound lid. Get the first one up. Nothing. Second one up. Nothing inside. And the third one's locked. Ooh. I know that the fucking Ark of the Covenant is in this one.

Yep. All right. I'm going to check it for traps first. 21. Looks okay. I'm going to try a disabled device. 34. Nailed it.

There you go. DC 30. No joke. No joke. The third one, the only locked one, opens up at the deft hands of Nestor Coin. The only locked one opens up at the deft hands of Nestor Coyne. And it holds a human-sized lace wedding dress of obviously very high quality.

What? Which is slightly torn and stained with blood on one of its sleeves. What? It looks like it'd be worth something if it could ever be mended. But right now it's just eerie. And they lock that up? It's not magical, right? It does not appear magical.

I'm going to do a quick appraise on it. 19? 19. You'd think it might be worth a thousand gold if you could ever fix it, mend it or whatnot. Throw it in the bag. It looks to be a roll of knowledge local,

Nestor, because I know you have that. I do have it. Ooh, 31. It looks to be, you're 100% sure you've seen this style before It's an Andoran wedding dress Oh yeah On our once new widow from Andorra

Had a dress just like this Little nation wedged between Spain and France Mountain nation They love weddings Big weddings How did you know her? Well, I knew her. Like in the traditional sense of the word.

What does that mean? Well, I fucked her. Sorry, I asked. I don't know, to be honest, now that I think of it, if the wedding ever went through as I left that night. Anyway, sorry, getting wistful.

So there's nothing else in there. No, there is one other thing in there. Well, a couple of things, but they all seem to be tied together. Are they going to happen? Grenades. Live grenades, couple things. Fire geodes that explode. It also holds a wooden game board

carved with strange notches. A leather pouch with 30 stones polished and shaped to resemble eggs. And a collection of 12 quartzite crystals carved to resemble rocks

in flight. R-O-C-S. Oh, wow. That's what we just fought, right? No. Those were rocks. Oh, but rocks are also rocks. Rocks are mythical giant eagles from Greek mythology. Well, at least we'll have something to entertain ourselves

with by the fireside. Yeah. Can we roll a knowledge local on this game? Sure. 16. 16. 16, not going to do it. 31, again. Bella and Nestor have heard of this game.

It's a game called Rocks. This is so confusing. Is that with a K or no? It's like a popular betting strategy game among giants. It's called the rocks. And the quartzite pieces are probably worth 50 gold pieces each. Oh, excellent. And as you're pulling this out and looking at it,

you notice that there is something else underneath it. Carefully wrapped with an oiled deer skin are three torques. Do you know what a torque is? Like an ornamental neckband? Yeah, it's like a necklace. That would probably fit as a ring on a giant. Like ring-sized for a giant. Two of them are forged from mithril and have designs of dwarven origin.

Ooh. Baron Anomlo. While the third is emanating magic. Spellcrafty, Spellcrafty. Go for it, sister. 24. 25. 25.

Did you add your flanking bonus? Oh, boy. I said it immediately this time. I needed to get over to that screen. I just wanted to make sure you added your flanking bonus. He's like, the checks are normally multiples of five, so let me get up there first. Yep, exactly.

All right, so that's Cannon's greatest cheater, Matthew Capitacazza. So what was the final score? King of the liars, Matthew Capitacazza.

Oh, sit on your throne of lies. Yeah. 25? I think so. 27 with flanking. It is a... 25, Matthew goes,

yeah. I honestly don't remember. Your mocking has... Discombobulated him. Oh, my God. We are literally having fun. It is a torque of Lionheart Fury. Ooh, I like the sound of that.

Is that barbarian fun? I don't know where you would have got this knowledge in your weird little life, but each end of this heavy copper neckwear bears the image of a snarling lion. The wearer gains a plus two morale bonus on saving throws against fear. Remember when you could do that, Sir Will? Yep. If the wearer is a barbarian of at least 12th level, 12th level,

she gains the fearless rage rage power. Hell yes. And if she already has this power, she becomes immune to the panicked condition while raging. And any panic-causing attack against her while she rages cause her to regain one round of rage. Holy shit. So cool.

So that's, you know, a wedding dress, a betting strategy game the giants play, and three torques, one mithril of dwarven origin, more dwarven treasure you're finding, and one thing that would be a very specific powerful barbarian. Seems like... What is going on? A dowry or like a wedding was raided and these were... That seems... But a game that's popular with giants.

Yeah. A human dress. But could a giant have been marrying a human female? Oh, it is like... By force. Bloodstained. Yeah, what's that all about? And it's human size? It is like bloodstained. Yeah, what's that all about? And it's human size, not like dwarf size. Right.

It's a human Andoran woman, as far as you know. I kind of wonder with... I'm thinking because of the template for a lot of barbarians and kind of this world as half-orcs, and it makes me think back to Grisseldeck? Granseldeck, yeah.

Granseldeck and the orcs and the giants becoming aligned, so maybe I feel like it could be a half-orc barbarian lady that's gone now. What is going on? All you know

is that there doesn't seem to be anything else of interest in this room. Unlike the table downstairs, there are no notes left on the table in the far corner of the room opposite the bed. Let's check the bed. And is there anything interesting on the dwarven runes of note? No, they're not runes of note? No. They're not runes that you recognize.

Is it dwarven? Yeah, it's just more. You found it with the Lucratas. You found it with the cave giant things. I think you found more evidence of it somewhere else. I can't remember off the top of my head. And now in this second level of the spire, you find very locked away

at the bed of whoever's bed this is. 21 perception. Digging through to find nothing. 31? Nothing. 35? Add your flanking. There's another level.

The stairs going up. Let's go. Nestor in the front, followed by there's another level. The stairs going up. Let's go. Let's go. Same thing. Nestor in the front, followed by Baron, followed by Umlo, Della,

and Will. 20 stealth. You know, all these levels, there's no doors. Yeah. You know, you just kind of come up,

and you... Open floor plan. ...reach the next level. Perfect for stealthing with firearms. Yeah, seriously. Nestor, you approach the top of the landing and you are confident that you have been noticed. But roll a perception check. 20. but roll a perception check 20 you do not feel

threatened by what or who has noticed you I call him up I'm like looking around it's very dark in there so you need some help probably Della and Baron are going to be able to see better

there's braziers burning but it's kind of hard to adjust to the room but you don't feel malice in danger per se so Nestor calls up especially Della and Baron Malice? In danger, per se. So Nestor calls up, especially Del and Baron,

because you're the only guys with dark vision, right? And Umlo. And Umlo, sure. Sure. Sure, sure. Get up there, Umlo. Right as you hit the top of the stairs, Nestor, and then Del and Baron and Umlo,

as you come up, the top of the stairs, Nestor, and then Della and Baron and Amlo, as you come up, the smell of death fills your lungs. A smell that you've all come to become almost too familiar with, whether more recently for some of you, with which death has become almost too commonplace lately.

Della, Amla, maybe even Baron. How much did Baron kill before this? And with others, Nestor, the smell is familiar as logs crackling on a fire. Iron instruments of torture

lay about the room on tables hanging from the walls strewn about the floor. Della and Baron especially you can see carved into the center of the floor of this chamber

is the symbol of a mountain and a giant anvil. I've seen different variations of this before. Mystic runes painted with fine, glittering dust sprinkled over what appears to be blood encircle the carving on the floor. The walls, unlike the two previous chambers, and even the bottom floor,

are windowless and covered with lines of maybe carved text. It's too dark to see. There's another staircase on the opposite end of the room leading up. Here.

As your eyes begin to adjust to the darkness of this now windowless level of the tower, you see a number of cages on opposite sides of the room for each other. Like on either side of the staircase that you came up. To the right there's some cages,

to the left there's some cages, which would be the north and the south. And interspersed among them are stone braziers burning small coke fires. It smells like smoldering pine cones, giving this little bit of glow to the room, little bit of light. It's a lot to take in. But you can see, to your room, a little bit of light. It's a lot to take in. But you can see to your right

what looks like a frail old man lying either unconscious or dead, face first on the ground in one of the cages. And just beyond him you see two young men clinging to life.

You know that they're at least for the moment still alive because you can both see and hear them agonizing over all the parts of their skin that have been flayed

from their bodies. Oh, come on. Leaving like tons of patches of bare muscle and bleeding sinew open to the rancid air in the room. You look to your left and you see much of the same,

but something catches your eye in the foremost cage, barren and dull especially. Whether it's your dark vision or just You see something eerily familiar But also like Very unfamiliar Very different

You see this ghastly Thin Sickly Looking older man Lying naked to the waist in a fetal position at the bottom of one of the cages. And you're just looking in, looking in at him. And he's just lying there with his back to you,

a crown of gray hair about his head, scars from a hundred battles across his shoulders and his sides, and skin the color of moss. It's Sergeant Lork Iron. He begins to stir and turns over very slowly, like it's taking every last bit of his energy to push himself to his other side.

Oh, my God. And as he does, and he turns, you both feel this horrible, sick pit at the bottom of your stomach as you notice that he's missing both of his feet. We'll see you at episode 100. Oh!

What? Oh, no! Lieutenant Day and I lost my legs! Where's Barry? Barry! Outro Music you