The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 24 – Lost in Translation

Episode Date: June 30, 2022

It was another hot night in HOTlanta as the heroes continued their search for clues in the bowels of Fort Hailcourse. An incorporeal horror reached into Ser Joolee's soul but could their greatest enemy yet be a staircase? Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Grant Berger and Matthew Capodicasa as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/mxcj-jMIXPU Recap 14:26 Gameplay 21:43 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that's... That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans?

Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca Order up for Rebelsis! Hi! Hi! Good evening, if you don't know us, we are the Real Housewives of Atlanta. And tonight we're going to spin some tea.

I think that's what they say. Oh, it feels so good to be back down to the South! Yes! I love the South. I want to put the South in my mouth. Everything's better down here. Football's better. Drinking, country music, incest.

They've got it all. Don't knock incest, Matthew. Everybody's got a hot cousin or an aunt that's really into yoga. You only live once, kid. You only live once. He's choosing not to speak it looks like how's everybody doing tonight

you're so far away I can't reach you I see a lot of people have costumes on who's got costumes stand up if you're dressed up let's see some costumes everybody else is dressed as a shell of the person

That they were before the pandemic Like us That's fun This pandemic can really eat my nuts I don't care for it Don't get me started Big shout out to the Masquerade For making sure everyone took horse dewormer

Before coming in tonight That was nice Thank you Thank you masquerade though for making sure everyone took horse dewormer before coming in tonight that was nice thank you thank you masquerade matthew approves of that joke the human race is doomed we shouldn't be laughing um i am at the height of my pandemic anger these days walking around with a mask in 104 degree weather does something to a man. It changes you. It really does. Just want to return to my normal life of avoiding people

and places on my own terms. Is that so much to ask? Anyways, get vaccinated if you can. Please be safe out there. Don't get mad at me and throw Bibles just because I'm pro-science.

You... Bibles, just because I'm pro-science. You lawless rubes. Let me ask you a question. Who here lives in Atlanta? Because I know a lot of people travel to the con. Good amount of people. Let me ask you. I've been to Atlanta a lot for work, and every time I come here, I enjoy it. It's a very fine city. I always enjoy where I eat, where I drink.

But then I'm at the hotel, and I'll Google, like, things to do in Atlanta, and it always comes up, that page does not exist. When I go, what do people do? Do you just go to the Coca-Cola plant and take a tour every day? I don't understand. What's so funny is no one is actually born in Atlanta. I looked this up before the show. Half a million people in Atlanta and only seven were born here. Did you know that? Seven! 499,993

people chose to move here. What, do you like wake up one day and you're like, well, I really like Michigan, but I want to go someplace where my ass can be soaking wet 24 hours a day. I'll go to Atlanta. I asked my lift driver from the airport why she moved to Atlanta

because she was in New York, and she was like, because the air ticket was $59. I was like, that makes sense. She was like, I looked at the whole map, I was like, what's the cheapest place I could go to get out of here? $59. So there you go.

Atlanta. No, it's a great city. Good for you. Good for you and your city. I'm happy for you. We like it so much. We're coming back tomorrow night. Two shots.

Wait, is this our first ever two in a row? First ever two in a row. First ever two in a row? First ever two in a row First ever two in a row, Atlanta Tickets still available It's packing in here Friday night And my birthday at midnight tomorrow We're gonna have a party

It's the man's birthday at midnight tomorrow I'm gonna get sloppy and arrested Yeah, how are we gonna celebrate? With you falling asleep in a chair? That's rude. How do you, Troy, I have a question for you. How do you combine both your love, your true love

of celebrating your own birthday and having everyone around you celebrate with you and also being so sad that you're so old? I look good for almost 43, Joe. That's the difference. Keep telling yourself that. I used to, and then I had kids.

Folks, I want to introduce you to four men who I am proud to call when I need something inconsequential done. First up, he is the Dominique Wilkins of playwriting. That's what they call him around here because he is as good at writing plays as former small forward for the Atlanta Hawks, Dominique Wilkins is at writing plays. Matthew Capitacasa!

Let him hear it. He has tiny ears. They can't hear as well. I didn't understand that joke, so it just rolled right off my back. These are flashy and selfish. Well, now I'm upset. I see you dressed for the

Atlanta heat with your woolen dinner jacket. The nice thing about being a sweaty, disgusting mess 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year is it doesn't really matter how you dress or what climate you're in. You're always a little gross. It's true.

Well, I'm glad you're here. Next up is a man who is as tall as a professional basketball player, but they let him play for fear that he would eat the ball. Give it up for Grant Berger, folks! Grant! I bet if I threw you a basketball, you'd peel it like an orange right now.

I was begged by the coaches in middle school to play basketball all the time. They would corner me at the lunchroom and say, Berger, if you just stand underneath the basket, just do it, man. Just do it. And I would always say no because I cried at my first basketball camp. You cried at your first basketball camp? Yeah. They tossed me the ball at a layup line and I tripped and fell and just cried in the corner. Did your mustache break the fall?

It did. It did. It's back again for the first time in 30 plus years. Thank you. It's a pro mustache crowd tonight. I got to say, it's tearing my family apart. My father is cheering it on. My mother is just reminded of the terrible divorce she had from my father who has a mustache every time she sees it. So she wants it off. But Skid's father is now involved in the family feud.

Mr. Marr is now commenting on all of my posts and saying, it's looking good, Guido, on every one. He loves Grant. He loves Grant and the Italian people. Yes. Grant asked me in the hotel room last night, he said, if I repeat Mr. Marr's joke, will people think that's offensive? And I said, I mean, speaking as an Italian, I'm only offended by the implication that we can't grow mustaches. That's offensive. And I said, I mean, speaking as an Italian,

I'm only offended by the implication that we can't grow mustaches. Folks, he's the only member of the Glass Cannon Network who also was a member of the Goody Mob, OutKast, and TLC. Give it up for Atlanta's own Skin Ma! Skin Ma! Atlanta's own. Atlanta's native son returns.

Right. How are you, Skin? Once again, people, do not go chasing waterfalls. I've said it a hundred times, and you don't listen. Are you having a nice Atlanta visit? I didn't see you until today. Yeah, I actually am. Samantha's here with me, and we're in an Airbnb downtown.

My wife? No, not your wife. Oh, thank God. It gets very confusing. I was wondering why she didn't text me back. Yeah. She said, an Airbnb? Cozy and up to you! It's good that we clarify occasionally, though.

But no, I actually went out to get some lunch, and I realized that we're actually like blocks away from MLK Jr.'s birthplace. from MLK Jr.'s birthplace. So I walked down towards it, and I checked out the memorial and the gift shop, and I actually started to cry. I actually started crying on Auburn Boulevard. And I was holding it together okay until I got to the statue of Gandhi.

And I started, and then there's another part, like there's a fountain, and there's like, it lays out like the six principles of nonviolent resistance. And one of the principles is, lays out that evildoers are victims of evil too. And that's one of the things that we do in these RPGs

is like we treat evil as a tangible thing. And so that spoke to me. It's just like these evildoers are infected by this evil. They're not the true enemy. The evil is. And that combined with

seeing Gandhi statue like that, I'm going to cry again. I was like, I got really like moved by it. So I was like, it was, uh, yeah, it was a really, really lovely thing. And I'm sure probably everyone here has been there, but it's like right downtown and it's amazing. It was nice. I've been here a couple times. I've never seen it, so I'm glad I checked that out. Wow. You're a sensitive guy, Skid.

Nothing wrong with that. I'm sorry to bring it down. No, no. I'll be sure to ruin that moment with this next introduction. Because lastly is a man who is to Atlanta what the bomb in Centennial Park was to Atlanta during the Summer Olympics. Joe O'Brien, everybody! Oh, I could see all of you. Thank you. That was amazing on the lights. That was really mean. And I knew it was coming right after he gave that heartfelt thing. I know. skit.

I love skit. He's a very close friend of mine. But he makes me look bad all the time. In so many ways. Because then, you know, Troy's going to kick it over to me and it's going to be like, what did you do today, Joe?

And I'm going to be like, I went to Topgolf. You went to Topg golf and I beat you. That's true. Well, once, but I, I hit a 240 yard drive. So that's incredible. I don't know if that helps. That's bested only by MLQ Junior's achievements. I bet he never hit a drive 240 yards. We all have our strengths. This is going to be fun tonight. I am hungover, so I'm going to have a beer. Has nothing changed since I saw you on the street at like 11 a.m.? Oh, yeah, I did see you on the street,

and we had to stop so I could vomit in the bushes. We were walking down the street at one point this morning to breakfast, and Troy literally went, Am I limping? Why am I limping? And you said, Did you not give enough water to that leg? It's in rough shape. I got here too early was the thing. I can't say no to six Bloody

Marys on the plane. It's impossible. How do you say no when they're like, would you like another Bloody Mary? So I'm like, yes, I'll make it a double. would you like another Bloody Mary story? I'm like, yes! I'm making a double. Would you like another? Yes! But no, now I feel great because we're here with the Niche. And we have got a Hub Dinger tonight! Oh man.

This might not even be fun. This might just be bad. I'm going even be fun. This might just be bad. I'm going to have fun. You're going to have fun. They're going to be miserable. Yeah, I would like to share with the crowd, if I'm right, a little bit of correspondence you sent us four days ago. May I?

The subject line is Strange Aeons Atlanta. And this is the email in its entirety. Make backup characters love Troy. Yeah, I was in the middle of my prep and I was like, oh shit, most of them are going to die from this encounter. But we'll see. I say that a lot and sometimes it doesn't happen. I love these characters. I don't want them to die. How much of it is showmanship

and how much of it is actually like, this is real? It's real. It's real bad. Is it real bad? Yeah. People who know Stray Jons, you guys are... You don't have a cleric! And it's a ghost!

Grant, let's take it to the recap. Take it to the recap! We just gotta jump right in. I'm not sure what's happening. This is your worst recap yet, Grant. I know. Here it comes. Is Joe making your recaps? Take it to the...

Okay, just give me ten minutes. Coca-Cola, huh? That's crazy. Here we go. Do we have sound, Kenny? Did we lose sound, Kenny? Did we lose sound, Kenny? Yeah! I'm going to play it one more time with sound.

We're nothing if we're not pros. Polished like a pair of shoes. It's really a live show, isn't it? It's very live. Folks, let's talk about this recap. A lot to recap here, but I'm going to keep it tight. If you're right. Do you mind if I go to the bathroom for 15 minutes?

How dare you? It's so damn long. There's important information here. I am going to keep it tight because thus far, this has been, I think, our tightest run through an Adventure Path book since we started the company. Yeah, I think so, too. We're moving. We're cooking. Yeah, book two of Strange Aeons is flying by,

and although one or two characters are going to permanently die tonight, you guys have been doing really well. Really well. You escaped the asylum. Hot, not exactly hot on the trail, but maybe lukewarm on the trail of the man who had you committed in the first place, a man who you used to work for in some capacity,

and a man who may know what happened to your memories, Count Hazerton Lowes IV, a mysterious would-be scholar and de facto leader of Versailles County and the principality of Ustalav. You come to this city of Threshmore where the count resides and find a weird little town full of its own problems. The count's gone. The magistrate's gone. Several townspeople are missing and there's some sort of strange cult activity going on as well. You speak with a woman named Cesedia Rents at the Sleepless Detective Agency, and she tells you that she believes that the Count was stealing money from the town to fund some project he was working on.

A royal accuser working for the Crown came to Thrushmore to investigate, royal accuser, working for the crown, came to Thrushmore to investigate. Thinking that perhaps this missing magistrate had something to do with the count's absence, she went to Fort Aylcourse to speak with the constable, to see what she knew, and to look through the books and records to try and figure out what's going on. She went to the fort and never returned. You knew this. I know, I was reacting for emphasis. I was empathizing with the story.

It looked genuine. Thank you. So now, the four of you have stumbled into this citywide mystery, which you have a vested interest in, so you go to Fort Halecourse. You're met by the constable who, behind closed doors, tells you she's done everything she can, but the garrison is unmanned since the town can no longer afford

to pay the mercenary guard, and she's under strict orders to not allow anyone in. So leave me alone, she basically says. You don't care for her tone. So you break in, where you're attacked by what appears to be these missing mercenaries, soldiers who have been turned into juju zombies. Juju zombies. You keep exploring and run afoul of these horrible amphibian scum who you now know snuck into the fort through the

sewer system, the town's aqueduct system. Who sent them? Was it all part of some grand plan to take over the fort from within? Or did they just show up looking for a place to jam? In your search of the fort, you find out that the Count's parents seem to have died mysteriously. The father of a sudden illness and the mother, soon thereafter, of perhaps the same illness.

But you also find records of a man named Dr. Climes Pret, who was charged with treason for poisoning Lyle's father, Count Lyle III, and sentenced to die, rot in his cell, right here in Fort Alecourse. No. Yes. How? I can't tell you. to die, rot in his cell, right here in Fort Alecourse. No. Yes. How? I can't tell you.

Last session, last sesh, after dealing with more scum who were looking for food, now that the human meat has run out, you almost directly walk into a creature known as an id-oos who grabs Aldo in a constricting death grip that almost ends his life. Were it not for the brave and pious Sir Juliandrus. Also Halster who kept healing him constantly. What? Also Halster who heals him a lot. That's true.

Halster did stuff too. I... You did nothing. I did a point of damage. You find... Let the record show. You then find some cells, prisons, covered in blood. Two bodies that seem to have been ritualistically murdered, killed, flayed.

And one survivor. A young man named Sean, whose sister, Holisa, approached you in town, begging you to find him. You found him. Sean, like his sister, hopes to one day be a great knight, and Sir Julie, upon meeting the boy, agrees to take him on as her squire, and now it's canon, and I hate that that came out in improv. I didn't even prompt you on that. You volunteered. You did it, man. I don't think Sean's going to make it out of Atlanta.

That's all I'm going to say. I hate running NPCs. Sean tells you what he knows. Because he speaks fluent Abileth. He tells you that the scum may be working with this cult in town, a cult that you know is dedicated to Hastur, the king in yellow, and that these cultists are kidnapping people and sacrificing them to use their blood to power gateways to another world

through the use of these star steles in town. So you take all that information in, you walk into the next room, a room that looks like it's been untouched for a long time. There's dust everywhere, and all of your eyes are drawn towards a portion of the room that looks to be plastered up, magic radiating behind it. As Sir Julie uses the pommel of her sword to break open the wall, a ghostly apparition emerges, grasping towards Sir Julie, speaking of tasting someone's wife named Namira

and loving her more than her husband ever could. Gentlemen, this is gonna be a fucking doozy. Can I? Roll for initiative. Roll for initiative. Oh, baby.

Now, Oh, baby. Now. What'd you do? I rolled a natural 20. We were celebrating. Oh. You'll need that. Critical threat. Critical threat.

Oh, sorry. You'll need that high initiative since you failed the perception check and will not act in the surprise round. However, I did not allow Aldo, Halster, and Atticus to roll a perception. So why don't you give me a perception

to see if you caught this where Sir Julie did not. Oh, man. 20. 20. Pretty good. Halster? 15. Not as good. Aldo?

25 for Aldo Kisumia. DC? 39. DC 39 it has a plus 20 to stealth and I rolled a natty 19 I'm happy for you Troy alright tell me your initiative this could be the last time this character ever tells me their initiative

then you could just go and visit the Coca-Cola factory This could be the last time this character ever tells me their initiative. Then you could just go and visit the Coca-Cola factory if you could die early in the show. Halster, what'd you get? Twelve. Twelve for initiative. Atticus? Uh, thirteen. Wow, I thought I rolled poorly, but, uh... No, it was terrible, and I really...

Whatever, it's dumb to say you wanted a high initiative. This is incredibly bad. This time I really wanted... Aldo? 17 for Aldo. Good. Sir Julie? 21.

21. All right. Are we on the map here? Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! You see this thing come out at you, just... I think I said he had like swirling tattoos and eldritch symbols all over his body and he just

half of his body is coming out of the wall, the other half is still in the wall and he, in a surprise round, goes to put his hand right through Sir Julie's chest. You know what, let's use neon green. Where are you buddy? It begins. If we're what? Let's use neon green. Where are you, buddy?

It begins. If we're going to kill, let's use kill or die. This is going to be a touch attack. This is going to be against your flat-footed touch AC. It's going to be a guaranteed hit. For a minute there, I was like, flat-footed? Alright, there's a chance. Touch attack. Yeah, I mean, god, I was like, flat-footed? All right, there's a chance. Touch attack.

Yeah, I mean, God, this is so, so bad. If I crit, you just, you're done. Here we go. Jeepers. Grant, I see you looking over here. He's looking. Bad roll. Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter. Ten against touch. Ten? My flat-footed touch AC is 11. Oh! Wow. Yes! Oh, amazing.

Amazing! Oh, that's dope. I had a 94% chance to hit you. What would have happened? Well, you'll see. I'll get you this round. It is half out of the wall and half in, so it is going to get some sort of cover here.

But now it is the top of round one, and it is Sir Julie's turn. Okay. Sir Julie is... I'm just going to guess that this thing is evil, so I'm going to smite evil. That is a... That's a wild assumption, Sir Julie.

Maybe he was saying, I want to talk to you! Does he say that? No. He talked about eating somebody's wife. Tasting. I tasted your wife. Tasting. Cooking. I don't have a wife. Sir Julie says. And then swings with the grace. And then swings. Cooking. I don't have a wife. Sir Julie says.

And then swings with the grace. And then swings. Okay. Okay. Smite evil. Power attack is on. A few crit right here. Come on.

Furious focus is on. That's going to be a 21 to him. With the cover. That is a miss. Oh, no. Okay. Sir Julie will then take a five-foot step back. Coward!

You are no knight! Guys, having a nice conversation over there? I rolled a seven, but then when I went to reach for the die, I knocked it and hit a 15. That's when Joe saw it. He got excited. Why don't we all just stop looking at each other's dice? It's a good rule of thumb.

Tuck my... I would have liked to take the 15. The 15 was better. Right, right, right. But the rules of the game state that you read what's on the die. When you take the five foot step back, Sean watches you and makes a note.

This is who I've pledged my service to. He's studying your every move. Mind you, Sean is wearing a silk blouse and armed with a dagger. Stay back, Sean is wearing a silk blouse and armed with a dagger. Stay back, Sean. Sean.

Sean? Just like you, Sir Julian. I shall stay back. It is Aldo's turn. Alright. Aldo. Aldo is... He sees this thing coming out of the walls. Oh, I know what to do with this situation. And he pulls a bomb out of his bandolier.

Okay. To throw. And I have a fun new audience interaction thing gimmick to do now. Gimmick! So, love a gimmick. I have loaded up this bandolier with real-life candy, fun-sized candy. I thought you were going to say, I've loaded up this bandolier with real-life bombs. No.

You're like, that is a real gimmick. With live grenades. Anytime Aldo throws an alchemical bomb, I am going to throw some candy into the audience. Unfortunately, here in Atlanta, the front row of the audience is about 400 feet back from the stage. So I'm going to have to stand up.

Someone's going to get pelted by some M&Ms. Whoop! There was no arc on that. M&Ms. There was no arc on that. It was a line drive into someone's face. You just knocked that woman unconscious. Yeah, Skid, you looked like a middle reliever for the Mets. Is anyone a doctor? I knew I should have loaded up with gobstoppers. That is

a 20 against touch. That is a miss as well. Against touch? It has a ridiculously high touch AC. Okay. Life is going to get easier for you once it comes out of the wall. But now that I know you can't hit it, maybe I'll just hang out in the wall. It is this ghost's turn.

Well, wait. The bomb, ghost turn. Well, wait. The bomb, as some bombs do, explodes. Yes. On impact. So, actually, it doesn't matter where it hits. It's going to take the splash damage impact, so it is going,

being incorporeal, I assume it is going to take half. M&Ms everywhere. Eight. Eight is the minimum fire, magical fire damage that it can take from this bomb. So we'll take half of that. It would take four points of damage. Four points of damage.

And now it's just mad. It comes out of the wall. He's dead as a wife. And I'm not going to miss again, Sir Julie. I'm not going to miss again. Gotcha. Fifteen against touch.

Roll a Fortitude save. I don't even know if I can roll this damage. It's so high. I might have to do it electronically. Oh no, I have enough D6. Nin's so high. I might have to do it electronically. Oh, no. I have enough D6s. Natty 19. Yes! So truly.

Natty 19. All right. It's 7 D6 damage. You'll be taking half of it. And I rolled three 6s. So that's 18, 19, 20, 24, 29. You're going to take 14 points of damage. Jeez, man.

That could have been 29. I would have killed Atticus. And what would have done to Sean? All right. Seeing as... Oh, shit stick. I don't want to do that. Yeah, I'm going to stay right there for now.

Okay, that's what I'm going to do. It is... Yeah, Atticus's turn. You're not going to do anything useful. Come on! I don't want to pile on, but useful would be my preference as well. Atticus is... You hear Halster, you hear Atticus's voice behind you,

and he's just like, buy me a little time, Halster. I just need a moment. And he's going to come out of the room, leave, go past Aldo, and get back out in the hallway, and prepare to run away immediately. leave, go past Aldo, and get back out in the hallway and prepare to run away immediately. Buy me a little time, Halster! No, he's actually gonna

run back there, and he is going to begin a sort of dark incantation. He starts moving his hands around, and this sort of wispy purple cloud starts forming in front of him. And that's all you see right now. Okay.

Okay, very... I wouldn't call it useful, but it was something. Let's finish out the round here with Houster and Price. We learned four sessions ago of the official interrogation of Hasterton about the death of his mother Namira who was mentioned as being tased by this very same

spirit we also learned in that same session about a memo for a trial of high treason against Dr. Kimes Pret for poisoning Hasterton's father I think he was framed, I think he was set up for this, and I think this ghost is Dr. Kimes Prett. So

Halster is going to say into the air, we know you're innocent, Dr. Prett. We're here to make Hasterton pay for his crimes. Just stand down, dammit! Awesome. Because that's exactly who it is. Bottlecat is by the way

there you go oh come on get off I'm being withholding you awful Lucille Bluth asshole give me a diplomacy check. Okay.

Okay. Here we go. Two charisma damage from earlier in this dungeon. So... Come on. Six. Can I throw in a bottle cap?

What? This Can I throw in a bottle cap? What? This is a Topo Chico bottle cap you gave me pre-pandemic. It has sat in my dice bag, my travel dice bag, for all that time. I don't drink Topo Chico. Wait. I love Topo Chico as much as anybody. But I think this might be Troy just, the showmanship of Troy, such as it is. Him, like, pretending that there's any chance of us getting through to this apparition.

I think this could just be, like, he's going to make a big play out of this. Oh, no, he wrote so poorly, and there's no chance we could have done it. So don't waste that bottle cap, I say. I'm with Skid on this because the other thing is just purely mechanically, even if it could happen, it's like DC 35 or some shit. He'll never hit it.

Look at him. Look at Grant. Nobody likes Halster. Nobody's going to listen to Halster. Look at that mustache. No matter how he rolls. No one's going to listen to this man. You can't trust a man with that mustache. The DC went up by 10 just because of the stache. It's in the rules. The GM screen in parentheses.

With mustache. Plus 10 DC. It says it right in the book. Plus 10 to mustache. I'll hang on to my cap for now. You guys are such cap blocks. Yeah, the ghost just doesn't even register you. At the mention of wows, he kind of looks over in your direction.

Wows killed me. Oh. Can I do any type of knowledge check on it to ascertain what type of creature we are fighting? Yeah, give me a knowledge religion. That is going to be a 15. 15? It's a ghost.

Okay. A g-g-g-g-ghost. Then Halster is going to take a five-foot step backwards and channel positive energy to harm undead. Ooh! I like it! Wow. Okay.

I will roll to save on that. Was that a will save? Get a little bonus. I'll let you know if you pass or not. All right, Here we go. Not a great roll, but he does have channel resistance. So that is going to be a 13. He passes because of my charisma damage.

I'm going to use a blessing as well to empower that with the powerful healer ability, which also works against channels against undead. Okay. So that will be nine points of damage halved. Nine halved four points of damage. Okay. Chip and away. War Bros.

That is 300 hit points. That's the end of round one. Good round one, everybody. Solid round one. All still alive. You told Sean to stay back, right? Yes. Okay.

He's just taking notes. Looking at Atticus. He kind of writes something and doesn't let you see what he's writing. It is Sir Julie's turn. Sir Julie, you are a knight. You have seen horrible things in the world wound. This is a ghost covered in eldritch symbols.

Perhaps it is Dr. Klein's pret. Okay, I'm going to try this again. Swing with the great sword, power attack, furious focus, smited evil. All right. It's no longer in the wall. Come on, Matthew! Natural 20. Natural 20! Yeah! Power attack, furious focus, smited evil. All right. It's no longer in the wall. Natural 20. Natural 20!

Yes! Yes! Confirm it, dude. Come on! Two confirmed. Natural 2. Oh! Oh, you hate to see it. 16.

16 total unconfirmed crit. Wait. Wait. Wait. Bottle. Here we go. Once per day, I can re-roll a confirmation roll

because of my shitty archetype. What are you thinking of? No. There's no bonus to hit from the Smite Evil. Okay. Just checking.

Can I have exploding dice? I'll give you exploding dice. You're gonna need it. I don't explode. Oh. I do deal 27 points of magical

damage. Woo! Baby! So, 13 points of damage? Yes. Would have been nice if you crit. It would have been really nice if I crit. You guys are doing a lot better than I thought you would.

In hindsight, I should have turned in my bottle cap. I am going to take a five-foot step back and lay on hands. That's where you want to use a bottle cap. Not on a diplomacy check that I'm never going to let pass. On a critical confirmation roll. Check time. I rolled much better on my lay on hands. Just so you know.

If you'd like, I'll let you retroactively use the bottle cap to confirm your crit. What? Yeah, I'll let you do it. It's up to confirm your crit. What? Yeah, I'll let you do it. It's up to you. Don't listen to them. Don't listen to them. Confirm that crit, Matthew. Julie knows no fear.

Can I roll a knowledge religion first? Sure. Can I roll a knowledge dirt bag? 18 knowledge religion. Is there anything particularly you'd like to know? Is it immune to critical hits? It is. Almost got you!

Almost got him! I'll get that Topo Chico if it's the last thing I do! You know what? Oh, that would have been amazing, because I would have taken it away, and I would have laughed and laughed and laughed. You have felt sick all day, and that would have turned it all around.

I already feel good. My headache's gone. I feel great. I see the light. Aldo, you don't have as tricky of a shot now. Everyone is backed up. It's no longer getting that cover bonus from the wall. A little bit easier of a target.

How many fun-sized candies did you bring with you? I brought every pocket of this genuine leather bandolier is filled with fun-sized candies. leather bandolier is filled with fun-sized candies. So Aldo is, yeah, he sees this apparition, and he's definitely like, oh, oh, it's a ghost!

He says, well, see you like the taste of alchemical fire! And throws another one. You see that wrist action he put on that? I did. I did. That was the form. Were those Skittles? That is another 20 against Touch AC.

That one is going to hit. Yeah, baby! And that is 15 points of magical fire damage. Okay. Seven more down. Doing pretty well, but now it's its turn. Doesn't really care for the damage that Aldo has been laying out, but I did pick on him in Boston.

So I think I'm going to take a five foot step here. And attack Halster. Only because you looked at my dice. Don't look at this. Jump. Here we go. Touch AC. Not great.

Eleven. Exactly my touch AC. Shit rolls. Exactly my touch, yes. Shit rolls. But he's that good. I believe you. He rolled 11. Here's the thing. I need that fortitude save, buddy.

Come on, Halster. Come on, dude. 11. Oh. 76 damage. Oh, man, I didn't know I could roll that many sixes. Oh, God. By the way, shout out to Amanda for these nameplates.

Yeah! Verdu Kai. Now you know who we are. That's going to be 25 points of damage. Okay. 25 points of damage. And then, let me see here. Yeah, you know what?

This will be fun. It is then going to... Oh, it'll provoke from both of you numbskulls. You know what? Forget it. I'm just going to... Fuck it. Let's have some fun. It already moved. It has mobility.

Why don't you give me your Topo Chico bottle cap for being so rude? What? Mobility? It doesn't mean anything. Spring attack. Ooh. What? Mobility? Doesn't mean it can be. Spring attack. So the mobility will give me the plus four against both of your AOOs. So go ahead and take your stupid AOOs

against my beautiful ghost. So you didn't take a five foot step you just moved five feet. It was a flavor five feet. That is a 31. Oh! Yes! Sir Julie! Sir Julie. 18.

Alright, that one misses, but that one hits. I believe power attack is still on. I believe it is. That'll be 28 points of magical damage. That was be 28 points of magical damage. That was a real dumb move by me. Does Shom take a note of that?

It moves over here and goes straight through the wall to be next to Aldo and Atticus. Oh, shit. Shit. Aldo and Atticus. Oh, shit. Thereby making it impossible for Halster and Sir Julie to get to it.

Do you want to kill Sean that much? Sean will not see Friday night. You could just have him, like, run off with his sister to go join the night training academy. Do you need to kill him? Sean will never sister to go join the night training academy. Do you need to kill him?

Shone will never know who wins the bachelorette. Aww. It is Atticus's turn. Casting a spell next to a ghost. What do you want to do? Oh, my God. This thing comes through the wall, and Atticus is just like,

he's shocked by it, but he's trying to keep the concentration on this spell as he's completing the casting, this sort of dark purple wisps of cloud that are forming between his rat-like hands. No, they're just rat hands. And it's... And slowly the purple starts getting these lines of green

and these lines of gold, and then the gold expands and the green expands until there's no more purple, and it just sort of like, whoosh, this like wisp goes past Shone and all the way through to the other end of the corridor, and at the back of the room near the doorway, it materializes into this golden-like shaped wiry creature, and he summons a lantern archon.

Yeah! In the corner of the room that just like... Question. Question. Since you started that spell on your last turn and you're finishing it right now, do you think it should provoke from the ghost that is right next to you? No, I don't think so, because it just completes at the start of my turn.

It's a full round casting. Right, but weren't you still casting? What do you guys think? Yes? I'm hearing a lot of yeses. All that was off flavor, man. All right. Let me find a fun token for this. Please don't be mean to my Lantanaka.

It's good and hot. He's inspired by Sir Julie's goodness, and he's trying to make a connection with at least something good from beyond our realm. So this creature materializes and immediately attacks the ghost through Aldo, so you will get the benefits of cover with a ray of light. Yes.

There is your lantern, Archon. That is... A ray of light. Oh, come on! It's terrifying. It's terrifying. For God's sakes. She had just got back from Myrtle Beach.

You pulled me right off the beach! Uh, alright. She, uh, little lantern-archon, uh, fires, What is your bidding, my master? And then smokes a marble thin. Fires a ray of light.

Natural 20! Yeah! All right. Ray of Light. Does that provoke? Or you cast offensively? It's firing a Ray of Light. Oh, it's firing the Ray of Light.

Yeah, it's its turn. Through Aldo at it. Natural 20. Natural 20. Okay, don't worry about the confirm. Immune to crits. Oh, that's right. Fuck's sake. But I. Natural 20. Okay. Don't worry about the confirm. Immune to crits. Oh, that's right. Fuck's sake. But I will give you exploding dice.

If he rolls a natural 20 on the confirm, will you do something cool? Sure. No. Alright, here we go. Uh, that is three points of damage. So one point of damage. One points of damage. So one point of damage. One point of damage.

I like to stay consistent. May I return to the beach, master? He's going to need that natural 20. And he's got a... She's got, I'm sorry. She's got a second ray of light. That is a 19 against touch AC. 19 against touch, but it's through Aldo,

so that's going to be a miss. Okay. And then... Oh, this is juicy. Is this cell open? Yes. Yes, that cell is open. Stay back there, damage.

Stay small. Don't attract attention to yourself. Her name is Tammy. Tammy! Down! No, now is not the time. Yes, my master. Is she trying to smoke her Virginia Slim

or is she trying to praise Log? Yeah, it's really... It does look like she's looking at something. Anyways, where she's like sneezing. Is that cell door open? Does anybody remember? Did we just never open it? Yeah, that's the cell door that Shone was in.

So it stands open. Yes. He's like, ah, don't look under the bed! Okay, then Atticus is going to take a five-foot step back, look across at this creature, and I'm going to do a knowledge check. Knowledge, religion. Oh, damn it.

It's a 14. 14, religion. It's a ghost that's immune to crits. Yeah, it's a ghost. Oh, man. He says, I don't know who you are, but you will never know who I am. And his hands go in front of his face,

and he disappears. And he casts invisibility on himself. Okay. That's a pretty good move, leaving Aldo there to die. It is Halster's turn. Perhaps Halster can yet again save Aldo's life. The only thing Halster can think to do

is to turn to Sir Julie, the sword of justice in our party, and say, banish it, banish it from this realm. Make sure it never comes back. And he reaches out and touches Sir Julie and casts Bull's Strength on her. Ooh. Juicy.

Little Bull's Strength on Sir Jules. This has been round two. It is now round three. Halster's five-foot stepping as well. It is now round three. Halster's five foot stepping. It is now round three. And it is Sir Julie's turn. Sir Julie, your back is against the wall,

but you feel like you have the strength of a bull! And Sir Julie will go out following this creature and will provoke to step into the square that Atticus has just vacated. Wow! Bad ass! Alright.

Here comes the natural 20. Here comes the natural 20. Natural one. Yeah! Yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I am done getting excited about my monsters. Bullshit!

I'm so glad I didn't do any of that work on the backup character that you asked. All right, so that's melee. You know, if it's a weapon, we'll adapt it, but it's a melee touch, basically. Got something good? I know you were working on these in the hotel today. Yeah, I was trying to see if there was anybody from around here.

Any Atlanta-based melee crits? No, I don't have any. But I've got... How about Melbourne, Florida? Shaw Shaw? Is Shaw Shaw from Melbourne, Florida here? Alright. Shaw Shaw from Melbourne, Florida here?

alright, Shawshaw, Melbourne, Florida this is called not the bees not the bees not the bees you feel a tickling sensation on your scalp that quickly turns into a terrible stinging sensation. There is a ghostly wasp in your ghostly hair. You must drop your weapon.

Oh, no weapon. And take the panicked condition for one round. Whoa! As you run around in panic trying to swat it away. No save. Wow! That could be really big. It could be big because it's going to provoke

attacks of opportunity from all of us. Including Sean. You told Sean to stay out of this. He's in it now. This method will be tested yet. I feel like Matthew just trying to look at a way that I can negate that crit.

Fumble, whatever. Crap. All right. So my ghost is scared. I know. Stupid. And I believe I now get to take my attack. You may.

Natural one. Natural one. Natural one. Natural one. Okay. 24 to hit. That's a one. Okay. 24 to hit. That's a hit. Yes.

That bull strike is amazing. Max damage. Oh. 38 points of damage. Yeah! Don't even have to worry about panic. Yeah! Yeah! Here comes the bull!

Here comes the bull! That was amazing. The poor staff is like, people pay to see this? That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, I think, yeah, they were definitely like, those are the two least athletic people we've ever seen run across this stage. You can say that about me, but you bite your tongue about Grant. Grant is having an athletic renaissance. Yeah, he is.

I want you to do that. Cycling is not running. I would like you to do that every time both strength is cast. Oh, there goes my mic. Hey, everybody, wait. Let's talk about what you want to do here. The enemy has been neutralized. It just... And it kind of

dematerializes and disappears. Oh, man. Can we check out his house? I don't think it's his house but yes you may go over and continue banging that wall wow that was a whole sort of i went kitchen sink on that and it didn't matter yeah um what do you say to tammy just as she disappears? Yeah, he walks over invisible to Tammy and he's like, Tammy, I know you can see me. She's ascending towards the camera as you're talking to her. You did wonderful.

I'll call again. Thank you. And sends her back to the beach. And she just disappears. And all that's left is the smell of her menthols. How long does bull strength last? Oh, rounds. Just rounds. It's minutes. You want to barrel through the wall? How long does Bull Strength last? Rounds. Just rounds.

It's minutes. You want to barrel through the wall? Oh no, it's five minutes. So is invisibility, so let's push. We need to open up the wall. I bang down the wall. Is anyone else hurt, by the way? A tiny, tiny bit.

I'm going to channel because I need a channel for myself. Oh, I'm hurt as well. That would be lovely. Weave Atticus out of the range. Nine points of healing. Oh, wonderful. Keep pushing, Sir Julie. I can't be seen. Sir Julie, you're very strong. You're imbued with bull strength.

And after some work, you're able to smash down the wall. It's really interesting what you see behind it. As the plastered part comes down, you see that from floor to ceiling are bales of hay covering the corridor. He's rich. And you can see a... He's rich. And you can see a... He's an affluent man.

With such staggering wealth. He's been accumulating wealth in the afterlife. You can see beyond the riches a cell door on the other side of the hay. Like a hillbilly pharaoh of old! Hillbilly pharaoh. I'm hearing everything on a slight delay. So, everyone laughs and I'm like, oh, that was funny.

Oh, no, that was funny. That was really funny so if you push away the hay you get to a locked cell door do we have a key? I can't remember did we find any keys? you did find a ring of keys

I use it to open the door yeah sure it opens and You did find a ring of keys. I use it to open the door. Yeah, sure, it opens. And... Who gives a shit? It's the fucking... Are we going to get to a point where we're like, and you couldn't open the door. End of adventure.

There's a key under the mat, all right? Right. There's a little fake rock. You open it. There's a key. You see a tiny little room and sealed from the outside world just like the previous room for clearly many, many years.

The cell smells like a tomb. At first glance, it looks just like the cells in the other room, maybe solitary confinement or something, but it also has the appearance of a torture chamber, a horrible place to be. You think of what Halster said during the battle, this Dr. Climes Pret, said that he poisoned Liles. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Maybe he was just sleeping with Liles' wife. Liles found out, killed him. He did say, Lyle's murdered me. But which Lyle's?

The third? The fourth? You don't know. But either way, if it is Dr. Pratt, he was tortured in this room to death. And then they walled him into his torture chamber? Yes, and huddled in the middle of the floor next to a bench lies the body of a man. How old?

Very old. The desiccated corpse is dressed only in a ragged loin cloth and has started to undergo the process of natural mummification. Gross. The most recognizable features on the corpse

are several large tattoos on the torso and the thighs that you can still see, mostly depicting these abstract, swirling monstrosities with too many eyes and too many mouths. Can we roll a check on the tattoos? Sure. What would you like? I don't know. What do you want to do?

I got planes and religion. Um, I would say planes. I don't know anything. What about Atticus? This is more your jam. Sir Julia's a known fool. I'll aid you. Atticus. I succeed.

So, 23. I succeed. So 23 knowledge planes. He actually would be very interested in these things. By the way, you know what the material components of bull strength are? A few hairs or a pinch of dung from a bull. I mean, can we choose the hairs? Like, can you be like, my bull strength is, it's the hair bull strength.

No, Hal's already smelled like his own urine, so you really couldn't pick up on the bull turds he was carrying around in his pocket. I prefer the dung bull strength. It's like you just examine the bull's droppings and you're like, I'll just take a pinch. They're occult symbols connected to what's beyond the veil, beyond the dark tapestry, the world beyond the stars. Was he a cultist?

Was he just a scholar that was obsessed with this stuff and tattooed his body with it? You don't know. It does seem rather evil. And he did try to kill you. And he was able to smite him, right? Yeah, you were definitely able to smite him.

The ghost appears to be restless. And Halster, you would know that there's a chance that if you don't take care of this body, the ghost could return. It's a horrible way if you don't take care of this body the ghost could return. It's a horrible way that they left him. We must prepare a proper burial

for this awful, awful man. There are many graveyards that will not accept his body tattooed as it is. We must find a proper place. Yes, I agree. Now remember you did detect magic in this room, so if you

bring that up again and try and locate exactly where the magic is coming from, it appears to be coming from inside the corpse. Before we bury it with full sacrity and honors let's tear it open

and pick through its bowels see what magic might lie within. Absolutely. Atticus will lean over and he pulls out his masterwork silver dagger. Wait. What? I am a paragon of goodness. I shall leave the room.

Sean takes notes. Do you have good heel, Joe? Can I help you with a heel check to help guide your hand surgically through this? Yeah, give me a heel check to show him, like, how to do this correctly. He's already dead.

24. Okay, he dead. He's 24. Okay, he says, right there. Yeah. Shut up. Alistair, shut up. He just makes this incision where he has identified the magical aura. He slices open and pulls back the desiccated flesh. Yeah, like dust comes out.

Moths. Moths. Moths. He was full of wool. His belly was full of wool. A small little man is like, oh, thank you, God. It was hot in there. And he gets out. What year is it?

What year is this? What year is this? You see inside of this awful, like imagine, have you ever cracked open a wasp's nest? Or seen like the inside of a wasp nest? It has that sort of texture as you look inside. And as you crack it open and the dust comes up and the moths and the small man, you see something. It's a fig. That makes your eyes pop out of your head.

It is a ion stone. Oh, there you go. Perhaps his most prized possession that he swallowed before he was tortured to death in here. Give me a spellcraft. You're gonna love this. You're gonna love this! Oh, come on, baby.

31. Atticus pulls it out. Blows this dust off of it. Yeah, his eyes just widen. He holds it up. What are you? It is a scarlet and blue sphere ion stone, which is a plus two bonus to intelligence.

Oh! Oh, baby! Oh, my God! The stone grants the wearer a plus two enhancement bonus to intelligence. It has one skill associated with it as a plus two headband of vast intelligence.

Wow. It is the perfect toy for you. Aldo leans over James' shoulder and says, What is that, James, my love? The other intelligence-based catheter leans over and asks, What do you say to him? My love.

Oh, it's a stone I found in the corpse. I'm drawn to it. I cannot explain. Beautiful thing. Yes, it is, isn't it? It is. And he starts to slowly pull it down and away from you, looking back up over his shoulder.

Don't hide it from view. I wish to look at it some more. Maybe now is not the best time. No, no, no. Now is the perfect time. As his hands, his long, spindly hands slowly close over his throat. Hans' long, spindly hands slowly close over his throat.

He steps up, like, away from your hands. Like, startled. He steps away. He's like, why shouldn't I have it? Why shouldn't I keep it? Because it's my birthday, James. And I want it. It's mine. I found it.

You still need to get angry. Okay. Nerds! nerds the little guy comes back in he's like, did anybody find a small stone in there? I left an iron no, shut your mouth, fuck off fuck off you little bastard thanks for letting me out thief

stole it he stole it he stole it from us he stole it our birthday present he's already getting ready to roll I'm ready to roll oh god oh god

you want to use Matthew's bottle cap? yeah come on Atticus. You need this so bad to be effective. Oh, fuck. I rolled a seven. I rolled a six. I was shaking off the net!

Oh, it's amazing. It's amazing. You would have had such a high intelligence, all of your DCs would have gone up. You'd be the envy of every rat in town. But you are cursed it's so unbelievably valuable it's more spells

higher DCs on illusions because those have been so helpful in the past kick him while he's down but no, James I think about it, I can exclude one more person from my bombs effects you could save Sean

yeah, exactly he hands it over and falls into a puddle of tears did you add, you already added it to your character sheet? no hands it over, and falls into a puddle of tears. Had you already added it to your character sheet? No. Troy, what is the knowledge associated with this stone? I don't know.

I'll tell you after the show. It says it has one skill associated with it, so just pick one. Okay, I, let me, I'll pick one in the next five minutes. Okay.

Or by tomorrow night. And that's all that you see in this room. Have we, do, it seems like what I'm at it on the map here, we've explored all of the downstairs.

It appears so. And even Atticus swam through this very thin sewer duct where he met a hydra that was trapped there. But the hydra informed you that it just led to the aqueduct system. Shall we go upstairs and do that other wing that we haven't hit yet? Yes. Yeah. Yes.

All right. Let's go back to this old map. Remember this map? I really have no idea what you guys are going to do. But let's put Sean here on this map. There he is. Little piece of shit. Where did Sean get the notebook, by the way?

What notebook? Is he holding a notebook? Oh, the notebook that he's taking notes? He found it on one of the scum's bodies. Does it have chord progressions for a new song? It might. He ripped out those pages. You've got some more rooms here on this first floor to look at.

And then you've got two sets of staircases going up. Actually, you've got two staircases going up. One in this kitchen area. One over to the north here. And then you've got those staircases that lead up the towers as well, two of which you've uncovered. When you were standing outside, you saw five towers and a donjon atop the battlements. So what do you want to do? You want to clear out the first floor? If you remember, when you first came into the fort,

waves of juju zombies were coming from the western side of the fort. So you have every reason to believe you were able to kill a lot of the enemies in those rooms. So if you want to just do a sweep, you could do a careful sweep and see if you run into anything. And then, of course, there are those angry dogs out in the courtyard. Somebody do something. Let's do a careful sweep of the first floor. A careful sweep. A gentleman's sweep, if you will. Alright. Starting right there at that door You open up that door And it looks like a barracks

There's an arrow loop And another spiral staircase leading up to a guard tower And a door leading out to the courtyard, which you now know And then another door leading out to the courtyard, which you now know, and then another door leading further east. No magic. Nothing of import. Sweep on. Keep going. You keep sweeping

and swapping. Bippin' and boppin', and you open the next door. Shug on. Oh. Oh no! Want to take this computer and fire it into the front row. Some people get a fun-sized skittle. I'm so excited.

This L-shaped room is mostly empty, but holds a few neatly stacked piles of military-style camping gear sitting against the walls. You also see a case of arrows sitting near each of the arrow loops. And an extinguished hooded lantern sits on the floor near the arrow loop in the western wall. Let's look out that loop. Looking out the loop! There are two arrow loops that allow views outside. Another spiral staircase in the northwest corner

allowing passage up, probably to another tower. You go over to the hooded lantern loop and you look through and you see in the distance atop a hill, a giant hedge surrounding what looks like several large buildings. And you think this must be the grounds of Iris Hill, Count Lyle's residence. You had heard from somebody that he erected a hedge around the property, seemingly overnight, some said.

Seeing this lantern and the view of Iris Hill, you'd think that the inhabitants, the guards of Fort Hale, of course, probably used this line of sight to send signals with the lantern if other methods of communication weren't available, like cell phones. Oh.

There's some gear here. You could collect the hidden lantern. You also find a box of 20 tinder twigs, but nothing really of interest besides that ominous view. And no magic. Of Iris Hill. No magic.

What about in the door that Sir Julie's standing outside of? Is there magic beyond that door? Uh, no? Question mark? Why don't you just tell? Yeah, no, there's no magic. There's nothing there, Sir Julie. You pop that bad boy open and you see the southern barracks. Bunk beds, wooden lockers, small chests, coal braziers and stools,

and a rancid smell lingering in the air that you didn't smell in the other rooms. Sean. Yes, Sir Knight. Sniff out the source of that smell. All right. Every knight begins with their nose. All right. He looks back again.

Okay. He walks in, sniffing in the air proudly. Gives you a thumbs up. Walks around. He seems to catch a scent of where it's coming from. And he starts to go down on the floor and look under one of the beds. And he's like, I found it, Sir Julie. It's milk. Oh, Julie. It's milk.

Spoiled milk. It looks like it curdled on top. What could it mean? What foul creature would spill milk and not clean it up? What creature indeed? Must be a four-year-old human child. They're monsters. Did you see these terrors in the whirlpool?

You hear of these horrors? Hungry for your children? Ah, yes. Battalions of them. Screaming mad. A horror. They come out at night. They really are chaos demons.

The beds are all carefully made. If you open up the chest, all the gear is properly stowed in the chest like the room was ready for an inspection. So whatever they did with these mercenaries, like, people didn't leave in a hurry. Everything looks very neat.

Got some more spiral staircases, more towers. Now you're going to have to make some decisions. Holy shit, you guys have done a lot of this for it. Look at that. Basement cleared out. This area cleared out. Clear it out. This area. Clear it out. Clear. Clear.

Shall we go upstairs? Yeah. Yes. But which staircase? Let me weigh in with my newly improved intelligence. I say it's a good move.

And also, in addition, this device, this artifact, has gifted me with the new complete knowledge of the history of Galerion. I've taken the history skill as a bonus. Which is actually kind of cool because he's not from Galarian. Right. So it's like he puts his finger and goes, oh, whoa! I know Kung Fu. I know Kung Fu!

So he's very excited. He's just like kind of running through the Rolodex of Galarian history and it's just like, this is amazing. Through the Rolodex of Galarian history and his society. This is amazing. What a creatively constructed fantasy themed world. There's so many adventure possibilities. Behind you Atticus's face darkens.

He's just staring at it as it loops around your head. Thinking in his head, I will have it. One day. I'll pull it off his corpse if I have to. Want to go upstairs above the kitchen? Got a lot of options here. One, two, three, four, five towers.

And then two staircases. I do think the library stairs may lead to the most lucrative parts of the building. Whereas the stairs leading up from the kitchen might lead to something more mundane. But, your call, Sir Julie. Do you hear that shade? Yeah. And he throws it. Make a choice. It's your call.

Let's go above the kitchen. Yeah. Oh, busting. Let's see what mundane nonsense lies at the top of these stairs. It's a win-win. Either we find something cool or we delay the cool thing to the top of these stairs. It's a win-win. Either we find something cool or we delay the cool thing to the end of the show.

The end is fast approaching, my friend. Don't rest on your laurels. Go. Move quickly. All right, so what did you decide? I wasn't listening. We're going to go up

at the kitchen. The kitchen. Oh, the kitchen. The kitchen, you kitchen. Oh, the kitchen. The kitchen, you say. All right. You, uh, how are you guys approaching it? It is a thin staircase. Who's going up first, second?

I'll bring up the rear. Okay. I shall take the lead if you'll allow it, Alster. I'll follow you, Sir Julie. I'll follow you, Sir Julie. I'll follow you into the depths of hell. Aldo, by all means, go ahead. No, no, no, no. You see, my newly improved intellect tells me

that I should in fact be behind you lot because I'd be most effective that way. Don't worry, my young rat friends. I have a suitable amount of pity for you. For you will never know the heights of genius that I'm now capable of. But don't worry, I shall share any fruits that I'm able to pluck from the tree of inspiration. Yes, I may pluck a few things myself. Let's go, Sir Julie.

All right, so it's Sir Julie, followed by Halster, followed by Aldo, followed by Atticus. Oh, no, followed by Sean, then followed by Atticus. Sean. Sean. Let's rock. Okay. Here's what happens.

You start climbing the steps. Roll a perception check, Sir Julie. I will do this. I will do this. I'm going to use my ability called Second Chance. Nope, not Second Chance. A different ability called Inspired. Okay.

To reroll and take the better result. Oh, there you go. It's fair. Okay, that is better. 23. 23. Okay. As you're climbing the steps,

you hear a voice that sounds very familiar, but a little bit more sinister. It's like... Like it's trying to cast a spell. You get to the top of the stairs, and you see yet another scum

holding a trident in one hand. And let me move you to the new map here so I can do a close-up of the creature that you are about to throw down with. Oh, shit. Roll for initiative. Oh, baby. Roll for initiative. Oh, baby.

Roll for initiative. This is going to be spicy. I can't help but notice that you left Atticus out. I assume it's because he's useless. He's on there. It's just he's at the bottom of the stairs. When you tell me you want to move, I'll put you on the map. See you right here. Hello.

What did everybody get? Let's start with Aldo, clearly the most intelligent member of the group. Aldo, the newly crowned intellectual giant of the group, has rolled a 20 on his initiative. 20? Wow. Okay. Atticus? 11.

Ooh. Don't worry. That sounds like a typical dumb character's initiative. Halster? 8. Ooh. I spoke too soon. Sir Julie?

17. Ooh. Not as good as Aldo or my character however aldo you see sir julie halt at the top of the steps and you hear this sound as well and you get to act first can i actually see what's going on in the room from where i am? You can't see the creature yet. Yeah, you'd have to come. But I see Sir Julie is like, okay, so... Bombs away, Aldo. Yeah, Aldo, with his genius, his new instinct for everything that's going on,

pushes past Halster and Sir Julie with his narrow frame into the room and says, I hope you like being caught on fire by explosive incendiary devices. Oh, boy. Yes. Oh, that hurt.

Knock somebody's glasses off. All right, so you chuck a bomb at this dude. A bomb? That is a 16 against touch AC. That is a hit. Beautiful. And that is 19 points

of magical fire damage. Jeepers! And I think that might disrupt his concentration, don't you, Skid? Shut up, Matthew. Matthew. It is now the creature's turn. That was a flavor spellcasting garbled sound. Oh.

He will now actually cast grease on the stairs. Nice! Wow. That is amazing. Right on the old stairs. Let me just find my grease symbol. Here she is. No.

Tammy, no. That's grease from Roll20. Right there. So, yeah, let's talk about grease I haven't cast this shit in a while grease hasn't been on the network in forever any creature in the area when the spell is cast which is everyone but Aldo

must make a successful reflex save or fall a creature can walk within or through the area at half normal speed with a DC 10 acrobatics check. Failure means it can't move that round and must make a reflex save or fall. Failure by five or more of the acrobatics check means it falls.

So, everybody give me a reflex save here. Oh, dear. Fail, fail, fail. I failed. Check. Oh, you failed?, fail, fail. I failed. Check. Oh, you failed? I failed. Ooh.

I failed badly, too. Eight. Oof. Bad news. What about you? Five. Five. You rolled a five?

I rolled a five. Okay. What about you, Aldo? Oh, I took... Oh, no, you're fine, Aldo. I'm sorry. I meant Atticus. A seven., you're fine, Aldo. I'm sorry. I meant Atticus. Seven.

Jeepers. Halster? 16. Okay. I think you're going to be all right. Let me just make absolutely sure. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is impossible, right?

Greece is a ten-foot square. There can't be three of us in a straight line in Greece. One is a ten-foot square. There can't be three of us in a straight line in Greece. One object or ten-foot square. All right. I will cast it on the Sir Julie and Halster portion of the room. Halster is fine, but Sir Julie slips and falls down the stairs. It's convenient that you got to make that decision after we rolled.

I will focus it on the ones that failed the same. I think given that you cheated, we should all re-roll. I think you're going to take four points of damage for falling down the stairs like an idiot. That seems like the opposite of what I want.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And you all just move out of the way and let her slide down. And Sean looks down. He takes notes. It is now Sir Julie's turn. Prone on the floor, covered in grease. Look at the fool.

Was that four points of damage real, or were you just... Yeah, you fell down the stairs. If I threw you down the stairs right now, it would hurt. I kind of want to throw you down the stairs. I'm not wearing armor. That's true. Four points of damage. Did you see this grease?

I'll stand up. I mean, look at this grease. That grease looks slippery. It does. Oh, no. You know what? It's his failure means it can't move that round. So do I just stay on the ground? No, no, no, I think this is a unique situation

because you fell out of the grease as part of the spell. Yeah, you're fine. So you're not in the grease. I will stand up and walk back straight through the grease. Okay, I'm going to need an acrobatics check and if it's DC 10 and you can move half speed, if you fail, you fall back down the stairs.

Which would be hilarious. As soon as you guessed it, I was like, this is amazing. This is potentially quite comical. This is potentially the best strategy against Sir Julie ever. And Sean is just standing there. She falls again. Boom. Take another three points of damage. I was only on the first step. she falls again. Boom! Take another three points of damage.

I was only on the first step. No, you had to get back up to where Halster was, and then you would tumble down. What a fool. You lay at the bottom of the stairs, covered in blood. It is now Atticus's turn.

Atticus has Halster in front of him, an open space of grease on the stairs, and then Aldo at the top. He looks up at Aldo, past the grease. Aldo! It is all but impassable. Good luck. And he delays. It is all but impassable. Good luck. Any delays?

You've got the stone. It's all you need. It's all right, my friend. I understand that you can't think of a way to come up here and help me. Believe me, I was once where you are, my friend. It is Halster's turn. Halster, you're in the same predicament here. You've got to use acrobatics.

DC 10, or you're going to fall and land on top of Sir Julie. Luckily, she will break your fall and take the D6 damage. I have a negative four to acrobatics. That's what I got. Wow. Negative four, buddies. That's a good four to acrobatics. That's what I got. Wow. Negative four, buddies.

That's a good spell to carry. Do I have line of sight? Can I stand where I am without risk of falling right now? You need to move at least to the top step where Sir Julie was when she first caught sight of this creature. All right, I'm going to attempt to move into that square to get line of sight in order to cast an ability on this creature. Hey, you'm going to attempt to move into that square to get line of sight in order to cast an ability on this creature. Hey, you can roll

really high. Um, that's a negative one. Oh no. You fall down the stairs and Sir Julie takes two points of damage. Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo. Boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo. No! Oh wait, I moved.

Tammy. Alright, so you fall down, land right on Sir Julie. So now Sean is standing there, wondering what the hell to do, as both Sir Julie and Halster are prone at the bottom of the steps. Atticus has delayed, and Sean looks at you like, what do I do?

Clean off the grease. All right. And so Sean steps up, and then he falls down the stairs. And you take six points of damage. His little golf pencil goes right into your cheek. So now Aldo is alone. You look back down at Atticus. Atticus is just like,

thumbs up. It's a new round. It's Aldo's turn. Aldo, you look down the stairs, and you see Sean on top of a house, on top of Sir Julie, and Atticus smiling at you. You're going to throw another bomb.

Oh! Oh, that is a 28 against touch. Jeepers! Got him! That is a hit. It's a one-on-one fight. Yeah. He tosses it under, he, like, rolls it along the ground and, like, explodes against its feet for 15 more points of fire damage.

Oh! Phenomenal. Okay, okay. It's its turn. And it doesn't like your whole bomb-throwing shenanigans. So its hand starts glowing with electricity and he steps up with you to you and casts Shocking Grasp whoa

so this is going to be a melee touch attack he casts it before he steps so it won't provoke here we go against touch AC that's a 16 that's a hit yikes

this is going to be 5d6 damage. Holy shit. Whoa, sixes for everybody. 12 plus 5, 17, 21. 22 points of electricity damage. Oh, just like Raiden's fatality in the original Mortal Kombat. And the grease electric flies as well bad situation here

Aldo has done significant damage but he is alone and that grease is just going to hang out there I also have three hit points left three? yeah because I was never fully healed from before. You took the healing from my last channel, right? Oh, no, I didn't.

I believe nine. Nine. Thank you. You know what? Audience bottle cap. Yeah. Now I only have two left. For the record, he didn't reach the front row.

Come on, give it a little more oomph. Do you want to act, seeing this situation? Is it my turn? No. But you didn't act in the first round. He's like, Aldo, get out of there! Basically, I can't do anything with Aldo in that space. That's my hang-up right now.

Do I have line of sight on the creature that it moved there from this? I'm like three spots down the stairs. I'd say if you got on that first grease spot, you could see him. You'd get a real good view if you got right on Tammy's head. Right.

He's not going to do it right now because he doesn't know that if he steps on that space, he'll see the creature. It's really tough because where Aldo is positioned, it doesn't have any clear space for you all to get up

without moving through the grease or staying on the grease. You just want to stand there and watch him die because you've got a pretty good view of it. I will say it is Ser Julie's turn. I just said get out of there. I'm saying get out of there, and if you

withdraw, you can get out of there. You can definitely get out of there. Without provoking. Alright, so you say that to the much more intelligent Aldo, who could devise a plan on his own. Does Aldo go before the creature? Yes, right?

Yes. It is Sir Julie's turn, though. Sir Julie will stand up and ready in action. Okay. Once Aldo gets out of the way, she'll charge up the stairs. Oh, that's going to be fun. Yes, it will. You know what?

It now comes back to Atticus's actual turn. He'll delay. Okay. Okay, just checking the duration of grease. It is minutes per level. Oh, yeah. It's here the whole time, buddy. This will last for the whole combat.

You ever try to get grease out of, like, some fabric? Just take it. It just cleans. Man, this is bad. It is Halster's turn. Prone on top of Sir Julie with Shone on top of you. Sir Julie is standing up.

On top of Sir Julie's feet. There we go. Halster's going to stand and ready a spell. So I should be able to cast Cure Moderate as normal and the trigger is Aldo getting within my range. Okay.

Very good, very good. Perfect. It is Aldo's turn. Aldo is going to wave bye-bye to the scum and, like, jump up and slide feet first down the stairs down the grease stairs so awesome if you succeed on the acrobatics check i'll say that you don't fall you just make it look really cool uh 14 14 yeah so you just slide like a like you're sliding into second base like a pop-up slide. Badass. All right, so you go to the bottom of the stairs next to Atticus.

That activates my action. Yes. Actually, I think it activates. It first would activate Halster's. Well, you can have Aldo move further down if you want. I'd have him stop by me, probably. Yeah, I have him next to you. You just can't see it because the room is too small

you're on another map basically so it's going to heal 50% more of this I'm using my final blessing of the day and I rolled max fucking healing oh he needs it 31 points of healing that's what best friends are for.

I can't wait for the email that explains why that was wrong. Sir Julie, he's looking at it. Sir Julie, what is your activated thing? You're going to charge up the greasy stairs? Flavor charge. Flavor charge.

Flavor charge. Flavor charge. Just make a DC 10 acrobatics check. Yeah! Sertoli, no! What? Demons in the world weren't stymied by a flight of stairs.

I think we should just let him come to us. Exactly. You take three points of damage and land prone. Honestly, I've now taken more damage from these stairs than I took from that monster down in the basement. The ghost. It is now the creature's turn. Atticus will go.

What's the CR for these stairs? That's a CR 6, Tammy. As soon as Aldo slid by and vacated the space, he begins his casting, and it has this dramatic flair to it like he used to do on stage, and he's just like, oh, but what is suddenly over there? And running up the stairs successfully, jaunting over the grease like it's nothing,

is Sir Julie running up and standing right in front of the creature ready to fight. And he casts an illusory image of Sir Julie right in front of the creature. ready to fight. He casts an illusory image of Sir Julie. Nice. Right in front of the creature. A silent image. Okay. And then she rears back her sword to swing at him. Alright. Interesting.

Interesting. I wonder if the creature knows about action economy. Yeah, I was just going to say. But it was a double move. That's why she can't swing now. He would know that. Didn't she just fall down the stairs? What was her standard? He didn't say.

He says to himself. All right, he is going to attempt to... Well, shit. He's going to try to... Bite Sir Julie. Bite Sir Julie. So what is it, a will save to disbelieve it now that he's attempting to interact with it?

Um, no. He has to do an attack roll. Yeah, he has to do an attack roll. Okay. And if I hit, then it... Actually, it's a little bit... It's kind of up to you. Because it does say you can move the image like...

Oh, you know what? If you fail the will save, I'll move like I... You missed the attack. Yeah, we did this in... That's right. Giant Slayer with the... Okay, so will save. Will save, all right.

To disbelieve the illusion. I rolled an 11. Yes! All right, so he goes to bite and she dodges out of the way like a trained warrior she is. And I just love it. Atticus is below this. Just like a puppet master. That's so David Copperfield. It's so awesome.

I love that. Alright, and then he's going to go to claw. So I'll roll another will save. I think it's one per round. He's got three attacks. Yeah, but I think that that one per round. He's got three attacks. Yeah, but I think that that will save represents whatever. The whole round of him attacking. I mean, it doesn't say each attack provokes a save.

Right, right. Well, for me, I'm wasting the whole round doing it. You know what I mean? So, like, I attack once, I go to attack again, and I hit you, but then I realize that it's a... Illusion. Illusion. Illusion, sad. You do my illusion.

Do you keep it there? What's that? Do you keep it there, or once it knows, do you get it out of there? Yeah, I mean, he can keep it there. I'm just curious why you failed the save. Right, but I then attacked it again, so I interacted with it again, so I roll a fresh save.

Do you know what I mean? Okay. I just don't think that's how it works. Yeah, no one knows. So, uh... But if he... But you... Slices through it and, like,

clearly knows it's not there, he'll let it sort of vanish. Yeah. Yeah, but, I mean, you wasted its turn, which is huge. Yeah, he wasted a wrap. Yeah, okay, that's it, then. Okay.

Then it is, uh... No, uh... Sir Julie, you acted, so it is Atticus's... Well, no, it was Atticus's turn. Everybody moved in the initiative here, so it goes back to Aldo. Well... I'm going to delay.

Yeah! Okay. See, that orb really is teaching you how to play. It is now Halster's turn. Halster can't get up those stairs either, but rather than just delay in what is probably a very narrow battlefield anyway, he's going to cast Defending Bone on himself,

which he meant to do before going up there. So he's surrounded by a swirling shield of bones and he's going to go headfirst into battle when this awful scum comes down the stairs. Okay. Sir Julie.

Sir Julie is going to delay. She'll wait down here. Thrilling. And she will taunt the scum. Okay. I don't care for your family's music.

Ooh. It's quite loud and discordant. That is just rude. Your manager, Reen Kincaid, has shortchanged several venues. Those Partridge family references always kill. They, one fucking time,

someone's gonna understand these references. I much prefer Susan Day's work on L.A. Law. Are you visible, Atticus? I tried to throw you a bone there, Skip. Atticus, are you visible now? Yes. Alright, the creature will

step to the top of the stairs and throw... Wait, wait, wait. It needs to be my turn. Do you act now? Did you move in the initiative as well? Yeah, because remember I just went right before him. Alright. Go ahead. You're just going to delay anyways. I will... I will ready an action.

Okay. My action is going to be if I see him and he begins casting a spell. Okay. Well, that's going to trigger because he steps up and begins casting a spell. I cast a spell. Okay. Ooh, yeah. To interrupt his casting a spell. Okay. Well, that's going to trigger because he steps up and begins casting a spell. I cast a spell. Okay. Yeah. To interrupt his casting a spell.

Okay. And he's going to grab, reach within the flesh of this creature, grab his bones, and rattle them inside and break them to pieces! Yes! We cast Bone Shaker on the creature. Yes! Any type of save?

Fortitude? Yeah, Fortitude save. Okay. Went from a natural 20 to a natural 2. Yes! Oh, my God. I never thought you'd actually do it. Oh, my God.

Phenomenal. Phenomenal. Okay, you're gonna take 665 on the first 3D6. Whoa. Holy shit. Can't even do that math right now. So excited.

That is 24 points of damage. Whoa! As his skeleton is rattled within him. Ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh, ksh. Well, that changes everything. Wait, is this a spell that allows you to move them? If they're undead, I

can move them. Oh, wait, let me see if it works for regular creatures. Yes. Yes. Move them, perhaps, onto the grease? And I move them toward me. I pull, because I can move them five feet. And I pull his skeleton toward me. Thank you for reminding me.

Wait, you pull him towards you? Oh, no, and he goes right on the grease. So I got to roll a reflex. I love this, dude. Atticus just like grabbing his skeleton and drawing. It's fucking Vader, dude. It totally is. This is so badass. It's force Vader, dude. It totally is.

This is so badass. It's Force choke. He makes the reflex save. Oh. So he's just standing there now. 22. 10 feet from Atticus. Standing 10 feet from Atticus on top of Greasy Tammy.

He was going to cast one spell, but now that you've done this, it's changed everything. No, no, no. Now that I've done this, he has to roll a DC 34 concentration check to not lose the spell. I tried to get away with that, but you're right. Okay.

Okay, shit. Here we go. Fail. Did he get a DC 34? It was the perfect use of that spell. Dude, I love caster on caster, man. Wow, that really changes everything.

Okay, well, it is standing on the grease. It didn't fall, but you just effed it up with Bone Shaker, and now it lost its turn again. So you've made it lose two turns effectively. Can Sir Julie act? Sir Julie may act, yes. I'll stand up.

Here we go. And try to step onto this step. If I could roll above, I'd be happy if I rolled above a 10. I'd still fail, but I would be really happy. Want to use the bottle cap? No. Come on. No, no, no.

So Julie falls back down the stairs. That helps to Julie. You take five points a day. Oh, my God. Okay, swift action lay on hands. Sean left. After the fifth time that you fell down the stairs.

He's just like, I'm out of here. It is a new round and it is Aldo's turn. Can I see him now? He's standing right at the top of the grease even though you can't see yourself on the map.

You can see him. Who else is standing in grease right now? Just the creature. Okay. Oh, this is gonna be bad. Alright. I'm actually out of candy, but

I'm gonna throw one final bomb. That is a 16 against Touch AC. Yeah, that hit. Yes! Yes! 17 points of damage, and the grease catches fire. Oh! So here's what happens.

Yes! You hit it. You kill him. Oh, yeah, baby! And then he falls down the stairs, lands on Sir Julie, and she takes two points of damage. Dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. Is any of that mechanical? No, that was all actual damage.

Mechanical cuts right through your DR. All right. That was awesome. You're awesome. Creature is dead zony. Awesome. Oh, I almost had you there. I had you on the ropes.

Take that knight out of the fight. I have a chance. What do you want to do? I have a question. Yeah. Has it been taken below its con? Why do you ask? It was on fire, wasn't it?

Oh, no, it slipped down the stairs. Why do you ask? It doesn't... You have no reason to think it is. Let's stabilize it and question them. Find out who sent them here. Can you wake it up? How much damage did you do there?

17? 17. You could if you wanted to. Question it. We might be able to bring it back. We bind it? Bind it. Stabilize it.

Yes. We need to know what they're doing here. Who told them of this place? They didn't stumble upon this sick rehearsal space. Someone told them about it. Will you bind its arms, Sir Julie? I shall. Stabilize.

Alright. you stabilize the creature. You strip it of its gear, I'm assuming? Yes. Oh yes. It didn't have any armor but it did have a masterwork trident. It did have two potions

of cure moderate wounds. Oh nice. Sweet. And it does have a magical headband. Yes! Get the fuck out of here! Smoke rip! Smoke rip!

Smoke rip! Unless it's a sorcerer, in which case it's a... Shut up, Matthew! Wait, is it a sorcerer? Is it a goddamn alluring charisma bullshit? That is a 21.

I assist. It is a headband. Of alluring charisma. Alluring charisma plus two. No one benefits from that. We need to find a traitor. A traitor? I shall roll for this headband.

I'll roll for it too. Might as well. Do you want the headband? I'll pass. Really? Yeah, I'm turning a new leaf with this mustache. Okay. I'd rather you roll for it and shave the mustache.

What are you going to do with it? I'm going to wear it. The mustache or the headband? Maybe the effect of the headband is that it gives you a mustache. And that is what's so alluring. I would pay $10,000 for that. Headband of alluring mustache. That's how the charisma

manifests is a spontaneous mustache. It gives you a classic Tom, is a spontaneous mustache. It gives you a classic Tom Selleck handlebar. Yeah. Alright, roll for it. Houser, do you have anything mechanical in your class that uses charisma? He must not.

He must not. You don't either, right? What? There's nothing mechanical in your class besides diplomacy checks that would use... Right. All right, let's roll for it. And intimidate checks? Let's roll for it.

I just did. Oh, fuck. It's really high. 17. I rolled a 17. Oh! It's a true roll-off. Here we go. Let's dance.

Let's take some bets here. Same time, man. I don't know you. Three. One. Yeah! You earned that, Joe. And now Atticus has a mustache. It's canon.

This mustache comes off of it. Is that mustache music? Yeah, that's the mustache. Music to mustache. Was that Dan the Butcher? Dan the Butcher of Toronto. The Butcher of Toronto, that's his theme. Dan the Butcher Hill.

Dan the Butcher Hill. You know right. Dan the Butcher Hill. You know what? I think Dan Hill has a mustache. Does he really? Oh, and a beard. He does now. Alright, so you got a useless headband for a wizard. Let's talk about this room. Everything in here is in

disarray. There's overturned and broken furniture littering the floor. There's sprays of dry blood marks on the stone walls. And a... Am I reading the right room? Well, more importantly, we want to bring this guy

back to consciousness. Yeah, but let me tell you the flavor text, then you can do your stupid thing. There's a cracked mirror hanging on the eastern wall as well, right at the top of the stairs. It looks like it used to be a nice room for lodging. Maybe it was the

magistrate's bedroom, who knows? Or the cook, since it's right above the kitchen. Maybe it was the steward's apartment, but now it's a disaster. There's a portrait of an aging couple lying amid bloodied and torn bedclothes near a large double bed.

The room's wardrobe stands open, its mirror cracked, and its contents spilled out in front of its mahogany doors. What do you do? The portrait is of an aging couple? Yes. Dead?

No, they're just aging. Who draws a portrait of dead people? That's why I was confused. I said aging. Yes, but then you said they were lying bloody in bed. No, they're lying amongst bloody bedclothes. So, yeah, Atticus will turn to Aldo. Now, with his refined mustache,

looking a little more scholarly, he says, you said suddenly you were overwhelmed with the knowledge of the history of Galerion, were you not? Yes, ask me anything. Bring me to your next trivia night. This, he looks up at the painting,

this couple, is this Laos III and wife? Let me scan my newfound memories. Uh, 18. Is it Laos and his wife? Laos the third, whatever. The one, the wife and the death, the disease, the poisoning.

Who is it? Who the fuck is it? You don't know. There's no name. Okay. Man and wife. Dead. Or soon to be dead.

Man and wife. Say man and wife. He's good at what he does. So what do you do? Wake him up. Gonna wake him up? Okay. Let's find out what they're doing here. He wakes up.

I'm going to wake him up. Okay. Let's find out what they're doing here. He wakes up. We need Sean. He speaks Aquan. That's true. It's canon.

Yes, Sir Julia, I can translate for you. Sean, tell him. I forgot about Sean. Aquan scholar, Sean. I forgot about Sean. Tell him we'll let him live if he tells us why he came to this place. All right. Who sent him? Arluradru.

Galawum. No, Sean. Umadru. With vigor. Waluradru. Ugarunilalavavadru. Don't appear fearful. You must project confidence.

Atticus takes a note. The creature looks at Sean and says, La la la la la. La la la la la. What did he say, Sean? He's quite upset. Said something to the effect of, He'll never talk to you, coppers. Sean, this will be your first great test.

I'm ready, Sir Julie. You must convince him to talk to us. Use all of your intimidation and diplomacy skills. Sean straightens his silk blouse. His urine-stained silk blouse. His urine-stained silk blouse. His urine-stained silk blouse. All right. Sean says. Creature

looks at Sean. Blah, blah. He looks, Sean. Yes, no, hold. Oh, hold. Oh my. It seems he and his kind were recruited by someone named Meliksen to come here and bring their scum soldiers to take over the fort. They came through the aqueduct system, as you knew. They're working for her. They're in cahoots.

And they were the ones behind the clearing out of the fort. Did they make the juju zombies? Is this one capable of it? I'll ask, looking at the caster. Allow them juju zombies. Is this one capable of it? I'll ask, looking at the caster. O-la-o-m, o-la-o-m juju. He says, I don't know nothing but no juju. I don't know how to make no juju. Evidently not.

Where is Melisandre? Ask him. Ask him. Melisandre. And you know what he said. Filthy liar. He says he doesn't know where she is. What? He says he doesn't know where she is. No, he doesn't know.

He doesn't know. they were paid handsomely but he he's sad that he has failed in his mission but he's happy that you have allowed to let him live and would now know like to know if he can leave

no no no certainly not he said but we made a deal And would now like to know if he can leave. No, no, no. Certainly not. He said, but we made a deal. No, of course. What did you say to him, Sean? What's that? What did you say to him?

What did you offer him? I just said what you said, that you would let him live. And of course, my intention is not to kill him. What I need to know is, he's lost his employer. He no longer has this opportunity. Perhaps he'd be willing to take another. Perhaps we could add yet another NPC to this party. We have found quite a few valuables left behind by Melisande and her friends. We'd be happy to share the treasure with him

if he'd join us. Thank you. I'll ask him. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He says, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Sean says he would never. It would be a disgrace to his people if he was ever caught working with the likes of land breathers like you. Well, that was just rude. I agree. Throw him in the dungeon, then. Yes. We said we'd let him live. We didn't say we'd let him go free.

Who knows what dangers he could pose, set back out into the world. So, Julie, I leave it to you. You are, after all, the fairest among us. Should he be jailed, or should we let him go free? He shall be jailed until the justice system in this town is restored and they may try him as they see fit. Tell him, Sean, you're going to prison. You'll be tried fairly when the time is right. Until then, you will get no food or water, no sunlight,

and will not be allowed to walk for several weeks. Sir Julie listens to you say this and says, I am a paragon of goodness. That's what you meant, right? I'll leave the room. I hope to one day be a knight like Sir Julie. I don't feel comfortable with this, so you'll have to tell him.

I think I've picked up some of it. I have rather high score in linguistics. He stretches. The creature yells back to Sean. Sean says he didn't understand a word of that. It was all gibberish. And I did my best. Anyway, you have him now. We will escort him to the jail cell downstairs,

and we will provide food and water for him. You bring him down, you lock him up, you give him food and water. Can we do some healing before we do the last room? Heal him? Absolutely. Here's a quick final channel. Six points of healing for everybody.

He says to you. I didn't heal him. He was in the dungeon. He excluded him with his feet. You took selective channeling as a feat then, did you? Yes, but it requires the person I'm trying to exclude to be in a dungeon on another floor at the time of the channeling. He will waste away in that jail.

In the meantime, you come back up to this room. Do you want to do anything in this room? Any searching? Yeah, detect magic on the room. You don't detect any magic. I want to take that portrait right off the goddamn wall and see if there's a safe behind it. Oh.

There is not. Damn. Alright, let's move on. East or west? Can I do an appraise to see if it's a worthy piece of art? Yeah, sure. I will aid you in that and succeed. 27. 27.

Yeah, you think it might fetch a nice price. Stolen art from the town garrison. Someone would certainly want a piece of that. a nice price. Stolen art from the town garrison. Someone would certainly want a piece of that. So passive aggressive. A collector would go crazy. Did you steal that from the town garrison? Did you steal it from the police

department? You walked into a police department and stole art from the chief's office. Let's go east. East. Okay, how are you approaching this? Just banging the door open? We'll listen at the door.

All right. 21. 21. 21. You hear... Is that someone shushing somebody else? No. It sounds like footsteps dragging against stone in a slow and deliberate pace.

I kick open the door. Woof! slow and deliberate pace. I kick open the door. Kick open the door to reveal the battlements. It's wide open here. Wide open spaces.

You see stairs to the north leading to the dungeon. You see that it sweeps all around. You see the tower doors to the second level of the tower. And it just keeps stretching all around. I'll give you a quick sloppy reveal of some of this. You bust that door open and you hear, uh-huh, uh-huh.

And something seems to be moving towards you. What do you do? Sir Julie steps out into a defensive position and grips her greatsword. Ready yourselves. Something approaches. Okay. What does Halster do? Um, Halster will cast

a spell on himself preemptively. Divine favor. Divine favor. Do you step out? I do. Okay. Halsterster steps out what does aldo do uh aldo steps up oh i guess he can't get to sir julie okay he is going to drink an extracts, casting Shield on himself. Ah, a little buff for the fight that may occur. What does Atticus do? After that last fight, Atticus is utterly exhausted. He stands in the back, looking across.

Here's this shuffling suspects, zombies. You guys walk out in there and seem to be ready for battle. He stands behind and just stares at the iron stone whipping around Aldo's head. He levels his gaze and delays his action. It's a bold move. A bold move indeed. Well, whipping around the corner to Halster and Julie, you do see one of those juju zombies starting to come right at you.

From behind, you hear another one is coming to reach you from the north. And then to the right of Halster, roll a perception check, both of you. Twelve. Natural one. Oh no, Halster, no!

Four. As you step out there, one juju zombie comes from the south, one comes from the north, and directly next to you, neither of you see. Another idus appear. No! You have to be shitting me.

And reach out. You have to be shitting me now! And we'll see you tomorrow night. No! Oh my god! You're gonna have to come see it! Everybody come back We'll be here

Come back tomorrow You guys are the best Thank you Thank you, Rithwala.