The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 29 – The Rat Stands Alone

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

It was a rocking night at Newport Music Hall when the Glass Cannon boys rolled into Ohio State Campus for another installment of Glass Cannon Live! After being lowered into a hole in the ground, the ratfolk wizard stands alone as two elder mythos abominations rise from the deep to greet him! Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Grant Berger and Matthew Capodicasa as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/_QPoBmXfjqY Recap 23:40 Gameplay 30:26 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chauncey was going to take me on a trip to the place he's from. From the producer of Megan, Five Nights at Freddy's and The Black Phone. Alice! Alice! Alice! Get out! Now. Many kids have imaginary friends. Ready or not. Just because you stop believing in them doesn't mean they're gone. Here he comes.

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That's what I'm talking about! Woo! What is going on, Columbus? Oh, what a crowd. I love you, Mom! It's our first show. What a crowd. I love you, Mom! It's our first show. What a crowd. What a Saturday night crowd in Columbus. This place is electric! Have you... The scene outside of this place is nuts. It looks like

John Woo is filming a movie about college life. It's really something else. You folks, you lucky few are in for a special night tonight, let me tell you. Tonight is a special night for

so many reasons. This is my first time in this cool-ass city. Skid and Matthew, too. I think Joe's been here for a heartbeat. Grant for a second or two. Yeah, my dad's from here. Anyone here from the Hilltop? No?

Oh, we got some Hilltoppers. West High School represent. All right. I love a college town. I love it. I feel as old as shit when I'm here. Especially because when I'm on the road, I treat my body like a truck stop glory hole.

I can't control myself. But there is nothing better than being ensconced in the energy of a college town. It's intoxicating. Makes you feel young again, even though I'm at the age now where I could pull a muscle just trying to pee. It's really not funny. That happens sometimes. We are literally staying on Ohio State campus right down the road.

I stayed out by myself until past 1 a.m. last night, working when these losers went to bed. Oh, I was working. Working the ladies at the bar. No. I love you, wife.

I love you, wife. I love you, wife. I love you, wife. I love you, wife. Well, he called me wife. I stayed out really late because I was stressing out about this show because we just did a show in Chicago two nights ago. With this quick turnover, I'm like, I just got to, until I feel like it's ready, I got to stay out. So I stayed out late and then I walked

an hour back to the hotel so I could talk out the show and think about all the possible things that you guys might do. And as I walked back, I began to walk amongst the Friday night college crowd. Had my little backpack on.

And blended right in. Felt like an under... Hello, fellow kids. Hello. What's new with the rock or roll? No, but I did have my little backpack on. Let's stand on kegs. Am I right?

Good thing there are no policemen here. No. I just, I walked back, and I'm walking amongst this crowd, and as I did, I was transported 20 years'm walking amongst this crowd and as I did I was transported 20 years back to when I was in college it was like jumping in a time machine just young, drunk, hot

stupid people everywhere just stumbling from bar to bar, house party to house party all of them ready to go have unremarkable sex that they'll regret later. There's one guy in the audience really excited about unremarkable sex.

You know what it's better than? No sex. And overhearing all their conversations, they're so beautifully dumb. Here's a couple gems I picked up. This was a young lady. She was like, I heard from Jake's friend Carrie that you sent a snap to her saying that you have a crush on me,

and now I have the receipts. Ooh. I don't know what that means, but it sounds scandalous. If you like that one, this one will really get you. This one's a short one, but it went, and I'm not even joking.

Bob. Bob. Bobby. Bobby! You still got that rumplements? Bobby! Bobby! Bobby! You still got that rumplements? Bobby! Bobby! At one point,

I was just ready to make my turn onto campus to walk to the hotel, and this kid bumps into me, and he's like, oh, I'm sorry, sir. Like I'm this frail old man. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you. Do you need help crossing the street or anything?

I mean, if you had made a couple different life choices, you could have been his dad. It's true. I might be his dad. Either way, I gave him a piece of ribbon candy and patted him on the head. Went about his day to the chess club. I always keep Werther's Original in my backpack, just in case. Do you like a hard caramel, son? Be careful you don't chip your teeth.

Besides that, it was an amazing walk. caramel, son. Be careful, you don't chip your teeth. Besides that, it was an amazing walk. I loved the sights, the sounds, the smells. I honestly didn't think I'd ever get to have that feeling again. And I loved nostalgia, so it was just an amazing way to end the night, even though I stayed out a little later

than I should have. The moral of this story is, we're all gonna die. All of us. All of us. So once in a while, you need to take a drunken walk amongst the dumb youth of America

and just soak in their careless, carefree ignorance for a moment and let it take you back to those feelings that you once had before you decided that being an adult was exactly like this. Because if you die tomorrow,

will you be glad that you went to bed at 9.30 p.m. the last four nights like a fucking loser? I feel like if I didn't go to bed at 9.30, I would die tomorrow. That's why that happened. I promise. Also, he'd be dead. He wouldn't care.

I was all alone. This is also a special night because this is our sixth show that we've done in the last four weeks. This has also a special night because this is our sixth show that we've done in the last four weeks. This has been a marathon. Yeah. This is the closer. This is it.

This is the last lap. And so I want to make sure that we leave everything on the table. Tonight. Yeah. After tonight, we've got a month before our next live show in New York on Halloween's Eve, which, if you haven't already dropped everything to come to, you're dead to me. It's Mischief Night. What's that?

The day before Halloween, it's Mischief Night. Mischief Night? Yeah. Is that why it's your birthday? I mean, it is also my birthday, but it's called Mischief Night. Well, if we know one thing about you, it's you love mischief. It sounds vaguely like you might not know what Mischief Night is. Do you not know?

Never heard of it. Is that a thing? Oh, my God. What? Mischief Night? You heard of Mischief Night? So has everybody in line at the bar next door. They have all heard of Mr. Knight.

Wait, wait. Who wants a hard caramel? That's where you go around egging houses and throwing toilet paper rolls in people's trees. Ah, see, I was raised by good parents. That's why. I never heard about that. I was aware of it. So you were the target of all the toilet paper and the eggs.

Yes. But, you know, this past month of hell is over tonight. This is the final leg, and we really need to change the game tonight. I mean it. Back in August, we looked ahead to this month with fear in our eyes and a gentle moistness in our pants. They called me mad at the university when I presented it. But in two hours, we'll

be able to say we did it by gum. So let's go all out tonight. I'm going to put this out there. Joe, if you can play tonight without delaying once, I'll give you a bottle cap. once. I'll give you a bottle cap.

However, if you do delay, you owe me two bottle caps. Oh, that's brutal. No, I don't take the deal. I am out for blood and I want PC death and the great stain of OH! I love that.

Oh, it's been a long week. The five of us drove here from Chicago yesterday in the smallest SUV ever manufactured. Wasn't an SUV. It's like a Hot Wheels car. I was driving. Daddy Longlegs over here was in the passenger seat, and Moe, Larry, and Curly were in the back. They obviously had the worst

of it, but we had a really good time. Right? We had fun. Matthew actually ran us through character creation for the Traveler RPG, which spoiler alert, he's going to be running on New Game Who Dis in a couple weeks. which, spoiler alert, he's going to be running on New Game Who Dis in a couple weeks.

That was a scoop for this audience. Yeah, only this audience knows. A little Columbus scoop. And I realized about two hours into the drive that that was the first time the five of us have gamed without recording equipment in years. I realized that in the first two minutes. It's been years. It took me an hour because I was focusing on the rude. And two things stood out to me, how much fun we have when there's just the pressure off,

no worries to be on, and how absolutely filthy we are when the cameras are off. Even Matthew was loosening his bloomers and giving in to our brand of depravity. No joke, if two minutes of this character creation hit the internet, we'd be shut down. But we had so much fun. I mean, Skid created the youngest, most decorated admiral in the history of the galaxy.

It was awesome. It was awesome. Grant was this wildly successful world colonizer, and I cannot talk about Joe and my character. I can't say anything about them. He had to make a lot of hard choices. Let's just say he got to the top.

The only way he knew. Well, without further ado, I want to introduce you to four men who root for Michigan. I don't. Three, four.

I just want them to hate you. I don't. Folks, he may be the tiniest member of the group, but he makes up for it by also being the most petty. Matthew Capitacaz, everybody. Matthew! Matthew Capitacaz,

what did you do today as you strode across Columbus atop your high horse? Well, Graham and I did go for a run, so that is actually a pretty apt description. Did the 19-year-olds point and giggle? Look at them try. It was like us, like, glumping across the bridge, yeah.

They were mostly laughing and thinking, why can't that tall man keep up with that short man? He has much longer legs. It's a thought experiment watching the two of you run. You can come with us next time. No, I'm busy. I got work to do. Some of us have work.

We can't just jog about campus. Did you go shopping today? Yes, I bought my son a, what's his name, Brutus hat. Your son? Yes. I bought my son, what's his name? I boughtus hat. Your son? I bought my son what's his name? I bought my son off the black

market. I now have three. I bought a child off the black market while you were running. You're so much better than me. He's so judgy about the children buying. It's a weird hill to die on. Folks,

he may be the largest member of the group, but according to the tight pants he's been wearing lately, he may not have the largest member in the group. Grant Berger, everyone. Grant, when I start my diet and lose some pounds, the diet starts tomorrow, right?

Shut up! I give you permission, if you ever see me in pants as tight as yours, to hit me with a tire iron. I'll take you up on that. Those are tight pants. How do you breathe? I don't think they're that tight.

They're very tight. Yesterday you were driving next to me, and I gently put my hand atop your knee to cajole you. I said, and I thought I was touching your skin. Really? Yeah, it was very tight. I don't know. Do you guys think these pants are

this tight? Let's take a look. Wait, they're going to see everything. That's going to get flagged on YouTube. Those leave nothing to the imagination. Like, we're nothing at all. Nothing at all? Nothing at all.

Folks. He may be the oldest member of the group, but he's young at heart, even though his heart is almost 50 years old, which means it's not young at all. Skidmar, everybody. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, buddy.

at all. Skidmar, everybody! Yeah, buddy! Looks like the lighting guy is a big Skid fan. What did you do today after your EKG? That's not funny. I just, I woke up at like 10, and our hotel is on campus.

I just wandered around campus. I just love a college campus. It's awesome, and it's great. And I was saying last night, I was just like, man, I think I'm going to try to sneak into one of the big buildings and just sit down in a lecture, just sit in the back, just audit it, just for just audit it just for the day, just for the thrill of, like, auditing a lecture. And Matthew was like, isn't tomorrow Saturday? He's like, oh, right. So I just wandered around.

You could have sat in on somebody's work study hours. Well, that's not fun. So, yeah, it was great, though. I just, I walked all through, I walked through the circles. I walked through Victorian Row, whatever it is, I walked all through, I walked through the circles. I walked through Victorian row, whatever it is. I walked all through the town. This town is, I went to the arena district. I love this town. This town's awesome. It's great. Talking seriously about retiring here in four to five years. You should have walked in on like a lecture on Darwinism

and sat in the back and listened and been like, I've sat here for an hour and I've listened to this diatribe, but I'd like to show you a book that begs to differ. And then just rip out the Bible and start walking towards the teacher. That would have been fun. That would have really riled him up. Yeah. Next time. We'll come back on Friday

That's a really good idea I'll do that next time Finally folks He's the joist member of the group A man A man whose name Is synonymous with lame A man

With a face even his mother doesn't love. Not true. The face of a leprechaun that got hit by a frying pan and then somebody peed on it. Stupid, bearded face with piercing blue eyes you just want to punch once in a while. Unnecessary and aggressive.

What's he hiding under that beard? Fear. Fear and deep, dark secrets that will only see the light of day when his letters to himself are uncovered long after his early death at the age of 46. Got real dark.

Joe O'Brien, everybody! Yay! Joe I.O. Oh, that's fun. Did I say Joe I-Hio? Joe Hio. Joe Hio. Yes!

You do have beautiful eyes. Thank you. I still want to punch you. I know. How are you, buddy? Did you have a fun day today? Yes, I had a great day today. Tell us about it.

Well, I agree with Skid. It's a beautiful city. I was here once before, and it's been a long time, so I'm happy to be back, and as I walk around, it's just gorgeous and mostly clean, everything that I saw. And, uh... Yeah, no, it was...

That sounds like such an old man thing to say. They keep it clean! No riffraff? No, it was great it sounds like such an old man thing to say. They keep it clean. Clean, no riffraff. No, it was great. It was great. And I was reminded of the first time that I was here. And then later we talked. This is wild.

There's a lot of shit going on here because there's a lot of history here. Not only here in this building, as we found out right beforehand. I mean, this place is obviously, this is one of the most amazing venues that we've ever been in, by far. And I truly don't say that to be a shill. Everybody that works here is amazing. Fantastic experience. The whole staff, top to bottom.

And the theater itself has got a great history, and we found out that it used to be called, what do you remember? It used to be called a ballroom. It was something ballroom. Angora Hall or something? Angora Hall or ballroom or something like that. And that the police played here! And I was like, what? And you too. The band, not the

municipal entity. Right. The Angora Ballroom. You know, we could be getting all these facts wrong, in which case just pretend that this is true. In which case, it wouldn't be that unusual for us. But it said that our buddy Harry, our videographer, said that Sting and the police played here. And Harry and I are huge Sting fans,

and we went and saw them when the police came back, and it's Sting's 70th birthday tonight. And he's like, now you're playing with Sting played. And U2's first American show was here, somebody said. It's just crazy. Something like that. The guy said that Slayer and Motorhead played here. It's like, that's fucking awesome.

And I can't help but think, like, every time it's cool, like, we do these things and we share these stages with these eminent people, and I just can't help but think, like, how mystified they would be at what we do. I just would not get it at all. What if Slayer fans accidentally showed up?

Oh, they're here. Slayer fans on stage right now. I'm alright. I'm a sucker for it because I'm a huge fan for history. I'm a huge fan for place and to be where things happen. And there's another incredible event going on in this city right now

in the form of the Origins Game Fair. And none of the guys have ever been to it. I was to it once, and it was really, I was in it in like 2011 or 2010, and it was one of my first big gaming cons that was really devoted to tabletop. And I had never seen anything like that. I mean, full-on miniature wargaming and all kinds of just old-school gamers doing their thing. And it's really a remarkable thing. And when I was digging into something, I found out something interesting,

and I wanted to share it with you. And you guys, I haven't told you about this, but we, back a long time ago, our GM converted Tomb of Horrors into something that we could run in Pathfinder. And we had a great time playing it as part of our campaign. And we had a great time playing it as part of our campaign. Well, I did a little digging and found out that Tomb of Horrors was written for Origins 1 in 1975. And was released right here in Origins in 1975. And thanks to our good buddy, Dave Elliott, I brought a copy of the original Tomb of Horrors. Whoa, I didn't know that.

Oh, wow forgot that. Wow. Wow. Holy shit. The original, original edition. It is in relatively good shape considering its age. It's absolutely beautiful, and I can't think of a better way

to celebrate you guys than to give it to somebody in this audience tonight. So, yeah, I'm going to figure out when. We'll pick a good moment, celebrate you guys than to give it to somebody in this audience tonight. I'm going to figure out when. We'll pick a good moment, but I'm just going to fucking give it to somebody. I'm not going to throw it into the crowd. We're going to have to figure... Just shatter into a million pieces. We're going to have to figure something out.

It is amazing. S1 special module. It was the first ever special module. Are cast members eligible for this contest? Yeah. That's weird. Where did it go? Ah, well.

I will. Whoever ends up winning it, watch out. Watch your fucking back. Why don't I just run this tonight? Oh, man. Beautiful, beautiful.

Not even God himself can stop me from getting this module. Folks, it's Saturday night in Columbus. It's been a long month, and we've got another long month coming up. We could not be more excited to be here. I think tonight is going to be real fucking spooky and crazy and wild. So my good buddy Grant, if you still have some circulation left in your fingers,

take it to the recap. Oh, setting the mood. It's going to be a dark one tonight, I have a feeling. Oh, baby. We are in the thick of it now. Although our heroes began their journey long ago, it seems like, in a fugue state, trapped in an asylum that was caught in a rift between the material plane and the dreamlands.

You get the feeling, you just get this feeling that they're closer than ever to finding out a little more about who they are and what happened to them. Since leaving the asylum and arriving in Thrushmore, they've come to know that, with the exception of Sir Julie, they were not good people. They were working for a man named Count Hazerton Lowes IV, doing his bidding, and in at least one case,

killing innocent people, perhaps on the Count's behalf. But you have no real memory of how you got involved with Lowes, what your job really was, and why you were basically traded to the asylum in exchange for Lowell's being able to extend his research. But Lowell's has left his post here in Threshmore, continuing his peculiar studies elsewhere, and his estate has been left in the hands of a mysterious woman named Melisande. You four are at the estate now, Iris Hill, after learning that Melisande is working with a cult of the king in yellow,

a cult dedicated to one of the great old ones, Hastur, and they are kidnapping people, murdering them, and using their blood to power gateways to Hastur's realm in the hopes of bringing the one who shall not be named here to Galerion. By using the two stars to lay in town, these monuments that have apparently been here longer than recorded time, the cultists can teleport about town, and now you know there is a third one

somewhere on the grounds of Iris Hill. You come to Iris Hill. You smiling son of a bitch. I am just... You know how we talked recently about how I hate spoilers, and I hate even like the next week on, and I used to hate that with Game of Thrones.

I'm such a psycho that I also hate previously on because it really is leading you into what storylines are going to be like discussed or played or whatever. Everything about this recap is just talking about the dreamlands and the fucking Cthulhu shit, and I'm so scared. I'm so scared. We've left the mystery of the regular world

behind and now we're talking about really dark stuff happening. It's gonna get dark tonight. Happy birthday, Sting. Roxanne. You can still hear it. You come to Iris Hill. You get past the cultists and cannibal kuru guards

and get inside of the grounds and you find four outbuildings, one manor house, and then three living topiary attack you. An elephant, a giraffe, and a donkey named Jesus Weinstein. Excuse me. Jesus. Jesus.

Weinstein. This guy knows. The first building you search is a simple bathhouse with three bars of magical soap that don't actually clean you, but give you a fresh save against mental effects when used. The second building has two kinky nobles inside. They seemed weird, but they were quite friendly at first,

talking about how they came to Iris Hill when they heard a royal accuser was dispatched to look into the Count's disappearance. Evidently strange happenings, especially those related to the occult, really gets them off. They keep offering you wine, but Aldo sniffs the bottle, notices poison, and so you attack. And that battle got hairy. At one point, Sir Julie fell under the power of the female noble's suggestion spell and ran out Iris Hill, Leaving you to fend for yourselves But you're able to kill them And steal their money and sex toys

The next building You walk into Is a carriage house It was the raunchiest live show We've ever done by far Next building you walk into Is a carriage house It was the raunchiest live show we've ever done, by far. Next building you walk into is a carriage house with a freshly dug hole in the room and a staircase leading up and a door leading further in.

Being the bold adventurers that you are, you send the weak, squishy wizard alone down the hole. Maybe squishy. Maybe squishy, but not weak. Weak. Shut up, Grant. He's incredibly weak. This ratfolk, elder

Mephthah scholar, Atticus Grimm, descends downward alone to find a natural cavern that rises to a pool of water in the back, feeling an otherworldly presence about. Atticus activates his talisman of revealing and notes the presence of not one, but two creatures known as Elder Things, which begin to rise from the water in the back. These terrifying barrel-shaped creatures with writhing tentacles radiating out from their star-shaped heads, floating towards you, hurtling, haunting piping sounds

and chill cries. And that is where we begin tonight's adventure. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Atticus, this is what you hear. Hold on, I need water to do this right. Ho, ho, ho, ho, God. You're making that fucking sound all day. I've been working on it all day.

Terrible. I was doing it at lunch. He was doing it at lunch, and we were joking that the server was going to come over and say, Sir, I'm sorry, we're going to have to ask you to leave. Two patrons are losing their sanity. The sous chef is like, is that an elder thing? Got an elder thing in here today for lunch? Let's take a look at these motherfuckers.

So you can really get another look at what these guys look like. Oh, baby. Talk about a face only a mother could love. These guys are gross. And they float out of the water, water dripping down their alien bodies. Water dripping down their alien bodies. Oh, the sound is haunting. But while it sounds unsettling and even angry, they are not rushing to attack you.

You, the elder mythos scholar wizard, whose mind has been swapped with a Yithian, a creature from the other side. What do you do? he reaches for it. I'm so scared. Shut up. You startled me, man. He reaches back. He reaches back for the rope, and he grabs it to tug it twice to let Sir Julie know that there is danger.

He grabs it and doesn't tug. He stares for a second, and he's just like, What are you? Who are you? And can my talisman of revealing give me any indication of what another thing is? What it's capable of? Why it wouldn't be attacking.

Like, what is it? So I imagine your talisman is just like radiating energy. It's radiating like void-like energy. It's like this darkness. It's like a nothingness. You know what I mean? That's like broiling around it. They are creatures known as Elder Things.

And the sense that you're getting from your talisman is that they are trying to communicate with you in a language you do not know. God damn it. Okay. Okay. They cock their star-shaped heads at your nonsense. Do you not speak common?

By any chance they continue and you realize you you probably have no way of comprehending their languages right you don't have a spell like that no I don't have comprehend languages yet but what you do have and it's just amazing

that you were the one that was dropped down here what you do have, and it's just amazing that you were the one that was dropped down here. What you do have is a mind that has been swamped with a creature from their world. And so I imagine that there is something within you, just like we talked about last session, where you have knowledge that you don't know how you have, there is a part of you that can communicate with them, but it is the Yithian part of you that is taking over, if you want to succumb to it. Oh, yes. Just to be clear for those that don't know,

swapping with the mind of a Yithian gives you access to knowledge of all everything in the universe but it comes and fits and starts you can't control it it is very disturbing and can drive one to madness he embraces it. If he even for a moment could communicate with them,

he will go down that path. He goes. He releases the robe. Releases the robe. The talisman starts. It feels like it's burning your skin, but you're gone, and just whites of your eyes pop up and an

otherworldly presence takes over to communicate with these elder things and you hear words start to form. Mm-hmm. I'm afraid I don't truly know. Atticus, I am cold, I presume. But to be honest, I don't know who I am suffer your lesser mind.

Long have we slept, and we need strength to emerge. Are you allied with the woman priestess? Do you call her medicine? Yes. Yes. Does she work to restore your strength? Perhaps. Long, long ago we came to this world

falling in the footsteps of our enemies, the flying polyps. They have left their previously conquered world in search of new worlds to infest. They specialize in genocide. specialize in genocide and our kind cannot allow them to gain a greater foothold in the universe

so we followed as well to see if this would be a world suitable for colonization that we could take for our own kind. The polyps arrived first and climbed the land for themselves, erecting a triad of monuments. He coughs. In two places. You really should quit smoking. Did they say that the polyps erected the star-stile? A trio, a triad of monuments in two places.

And they did so, so they could travel back and forth to their home world with ease. And one day sacrifice this new land to their home in Carcosa in supplication of their master, Zomendor. Then the serpent folk came. Sorcerers and priests drove the polyps back as well as our kind. Only we

two survived. Pounding our way below ground to hibernate and wait centuries to return. This is so hard. Recently,

someone unearthed our lair. And once the cavern was open to the outside world for the first time in ages we began to awaken this woman, Melisande asked us many questions told us our presence was revealed to her in a dream and sought the knowledge we are now giving you.

And you gave it to her. All of it. Yes. And more. Did she offer to help you in some way? Simply by unearthing us was all the help we needed. But our time to speak with your feeble mind is over.

is over. Once we regain our strength, we shall return above ground and see your world as it exists now to determine if it is a suitable home for our kind

to take over. But wait. My feeble mind, you speak of. Can you not help? Is there nothing you can teach me? There's like a desperation

in his eyes and a feeling that everything that he has gone through that we've seen in this story until now has led to this moment. Everything he was training for, the book that he stole, the people that he's hurt along the way, was all in pursuit of knowledge his competitors did not have.

things that he could do to warp the minds of audiences in a way that would make him the richest and most famous illusionist in Galarian. And he had no problem going down this dark path to seek it, and if he can get anything from these creatures, it would be almost like hitting a goal in his life in recent years, you know? So he's like, is there nothing you can show me? Is there nothing you can do to help my feeble mind? They float towards you very slowly. He slowly reaches back toward the rope.

Your mind is feeble. Yet there is another within you, powering you to connect with us. Yes. Who is it I do not know but I feel their presence we do as well

so I will offer you this when the time comes for us to take over this world should we find it ripe and call our brethren to dominate it

we will perhaps let you live and he's thinking this is this is how it happens this is the deal that somebody like Amelie Sen makes. And he just says,

okay. Then, and he takes a half step back and grips the rope. I should probably go. Takes another half step back. They float towards you. No need to do that.

I'm going to go now. My feeble mind will return to the surface and... Tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug. And he starts tugging on the rope and moving back quickly to the hole he came down. Roll for initiative. Oh! Roll for initiative!

Oh, if there was ever an important roll. Oh, man! It's all about the role. He said you'd have me live. All right. Could be worse. Sir Julie, what'd you get?

13. 13 for Sir Julie. Halster. 17. 17 for Halster. Aldo. Aldo. Aldo got a 26. Oh, yes, Aldo.

Atticus. 19. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Round one. Let me just move these guys a little bit closer. Oh, let me move a little bit back. And then I move a little bit closer.

Round one. Aldo. Aldo, what is going on up there? Can you hear any of this? Are you looking down? Can you see? I don't. I mean, as far down as it is,

you might hear some, like, noise, unintelligible noise coming up, but nothing that we can understand or act on. And then we hear the... We feel the tug, tug, tug, tug, tug. And Aldo's like, how many tugs is that? What was that supposed to mean?

It felt like... It was two to pull him back up. But it was like six or seven. It was at least. That means stay. No. Maybe six or seven means I've found some food and we should...

And we can rest for the night down in this... No, no, wait. My superior intellect has thought of something. Wait. Answer me this. Was there an even number of tugs or an odd number? Can we roll back the tape and see what Joe said? I'll answer you for you. It was an odd... It was an even number.

That means, I think, pull me up, pull me up, pull me up, pull me up. Very urgently. So, I have a plan. And he pops open another vial that you've seen on his bandolier, one you haven't seen him use

before. And he's just like, bottoms up, and drinks it, and he's like like he grows like his muscles start bulging out. One of his eyes like pops out of its sock. Bonjour! Oui, les gars!

He's like a UFC fighter. Let's pull the bugger off! Pull the bugger off! And he gets plus four strength and minus two intelligence from his mutagen. Whoa! Okay!

Woo! So Aldo does a quick shot of steroids. And, uh, that's your turn, right? You're ready to pull. Ready to pull. Well, Atticus, you rolled higher than they did. It is your turn. Oh, no.

Okay. Okay. Does my knowledge of them, does the ability to speak their language sort of supplant my ability to know their, like, useful information about them strategically? No, there's no reason it should have to do that. I'm going to tell you...

I have a primary request. Okay. Can they see invisibility? You don't believe that they can. Yes. Anything else? They can't be flanked. They are immune to cold.

Oh. That is good. That's good for you. They are immune to cold. Oh. That is good. That's good for you. Yeah. You love a good ray of frost. Love a good cantrip. And I'll also tell you, and then this is enough, they have combat reflexes. Okay.

Lovely. How far is it to the ceiling? How far what? How it to the ceiling? How far what? How high is the ceiling? 30 feet, and then it's another 30 feet through the hole to get back into the room. So you're 60 feet away from your friends. Oh, it's 30 feet to the ceiling and 30 feet up the hole. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. In that case, I'm going to use my wand of invisibility and vanish to them. Oh, this is so terrible. How much of the rope disappears? According to the rules, from what I could interpret, 10 feet of the rope disappears. So it's sort of like this cut-off, loose-hanging thread up 10 feet. Rope trick! Yes!

That's what it is. It's lost in an extra-dimensional plane, of course. And he will... You know what? He's gonna leap on the rope and attempt to go up five feet. Okay. Which will be very difficult.

Well, you've got a rope, but you don't have anything to bear on. So what do you think? DC 10? Sounds good. And I believe I will fail. Let's go. He grabs it and just invisible No. No. He's got a wand

in his hand. Damn it. He's just going to come and stand under the hole and be like, please pick me up. And so he will move one square. Cast invisibility, move one square. Okay. I've thrown that little dot there to denote where the

rope is. Good turn. Let's see what Halster can do. I see you've been holding that die, rolling it like there's no tomorrow What are you thinking? I've never been more excited to hear Atticus tug like that So Halster is

Thrilled To use fervor Yeah And also very excited To see his best friend get swole So he himself is going to get swole With some bull strength. Yeah! Fervor on

himself and he's not going to waste any time. Because that was a swift action he's going to reach over to Sir Julie and try to share the load. Grab the rope and start pulling up on it. Share the load. Share the load. Now here's what you can do. You can pull

or you can grab it so that once Sir Julie and Aldo have it, then someone can initiate the pull. So you can initiate the pull, or you can ready to help your friends. What do you want to do? Well, can they take over if I start pulling this turn, or is it better to kind of get into a... It's better for the three of you to pull. Maybe faster. I'll get ready so that everyone else can take turns.

Okay. Here we go. It is Elder Thing number one's turn. And lucky for you, he's the one that has to move more than

five feet so he can only do one attack. But he has no doubts as to where I am. He does not know where you are. Well he doesn't know... Joe, it went invisible and then moved. Oh, you went invisible and then moved. Oh, you went invisible and then moved.

I moved one square, so the rope could give it away, but I just wanted to make sure you were on the same page. The rope swayed, but it did not move with you the way they could see. Well, here's what I'll do. Atticus sticks the rope

out so it seems like it. Oh, no, it's still leaning that way You were just to the north of the space you are now when you went invisible? Yeah, I moved from the space where I went invisible So that guy is going to move to there, attack into that spot And know that you're not there Will he? Okay But his friend may have a different idea.

It is Sir Julie's turn. Okay. Sir Julie will start to pull up the rope. Okay. And Halster will join. Yes. All right. What are we thinking here?

Strength check, maybe? You tell me. Atticus weighs next to nothing. Yeah. Who wants to aid and weighs next to nothing. Yeah. Who wants to aid and who wants to pull? What's your strength now? 21. You should pull and I should aid.

Or do you want to wait for Aldo and see what happens? We're going to have to do a bunch of these, right? Because you've got to get him up 60 feet. We'll see. Once he gets out of range and they start flying, we'll deal with it when we come. Let's pull him now. Let's pull. All right. You roll to aid. DC 10.

Got it. Plus two. All right, that is going to be a 22 strength check. Ooh! I'm going to say you pull Atticus 10 feet up. Stay quiet. Stay quiet. Stay quiet!

The rope's around your waist, so I just imagine you're just kind of like... And I'll be honest here. With you invisible, and them not knowing where you are, and you being pulled up, they don't know. They don not knowing where you are and you being pulled up, they don't know. They don't know where you are. So you're pulled all the way back up. Yeah! You earned it. Got out of it.

But you made some pretty powerful enemies. And here's the thing that you can relay to your friends if you so choose. Their goal is to regain their strength, come above ground, and perhaps, if they find this world suitable,

take it over. I like that they turned into Bond villains very quickly and told Atticus all of their plans immediately. It was super helpful. I loved it. It was great. What happened down there, Atticus?

It was very strange. Hard to explain. Flashes of knowledge come and go. But there are creatures down there that are not of this world. And I don't mean of. Hell or the abyss. Something far worse. Something beyond the dark tapestry.

They are a creature called. Elder things in me. They've been awakened. By merely sin. They know of her. They have spoken to her. And according to their awakened by merely sin. They know of her. They've spoken to her. And according to their own revelations that I was able to understand, they gave her knowledge.

Some terrible knowledge I'm sure she could use against us. You need a case. And he's still invisible. And he's like talking quickly. He's like, you need a case. The situation we have here is dire. For I felt great power within them. Otherworldly power.

And they seek to reclaim it. Once they do, they will rise to the surface and slay all in their path. Can we defeat them as they are now? And you see a huge vein pumping out of Halster's neck. It's this full strength. It's just like, I've got four and a half minutes left to kill them. Yeah.

Halster, I believe you. Yes. Oh, let's go. Let's go. Eat the bludgers. Oi! Oi! Sound surprise ya?

New energizer. Let's get them. I am a paragon of goodness, and we must murder these creatures. Yes! Let's go them. I am a paragon of goodness, and we must murder these creatures. Yes. Let's go down now. Let's crack a tin and get down now.

Go burk her on them. You're getting me so pumped up. Truly, though, their powers seem diminished perhaps at the time. This might be the only time to strike at them but it could turn bad for us quickly be prepared, strengthen your minds their evil goes beyond anything understandable

but if we want to go we must go now now, now yeah yeah yeah we must go now. Now. Now. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! And like Halster and Aldo are just like smashing their foreheads together.

No! How do we get down there? I'm just gonna give it to you. Do know that they can fly. They could hover to the top of that cavern. It is no less than 30 feet high. They will be unreachable by your simple weapons if we can't find some way to strike at them from the ceiling.

Oh, let's bring them up here. Oi, you flipping, crappy bludgers. Get up here. Oh, you want a fort? You want a bar? They were up here waiting for you. Come on. It is useless they know not our language

they would not understand your ravings no what language they speak I speak a hundred languages you you hear nothing in response. You raise some good points. Atticus becomes visible.

Actually, I don't know. I forgot. It's three minutes. So would three minutes... Wait. No, it's more than that. It's going to be like five minutes. Yeah, it's five minutes.

Well, tell me what the plan is here. Are you going down to fight them? And if so, how?'s more than that. It's going to be like five minutes. Yeah, it's five minutes. Well, tell me what the plan is here. Are you going down to fight them? And if so, how? Is there a way that you can... Tie off the rope. Slide down quickly. I could cast a spell on you to let you descend without using the rope at all, if you like.

Do you have the ability to let us fly, perhaps? No, not with that level of control, but I could levitate you or feather fall you. Though feather fall would cost a great deal more than I care to pay. Can you levitate multiples of us? No.

As they said, my mind is feeble. I have yet to learn how to do so. You're visible now. While you have this debate. What did you say? I said you're visible now while you you have this debate. What'd you say? I said you're visible now while you have this long debate with Sir Julie about flight. Fuck!

Can you see me right now? How's your timing? My bolt strength's over. I no longer want to fight these guys. Let's go to another house. My magent is good for another 45 minutes. Come on! I gotta smash something. Down the hole,

Aldo. Here's what I'll say. If you want to go down there, if you really want to throw down with these things, I'll let you keep your shit, I'll let you keep your shit. But the first person down on the floor will start the initiative. Start a new initiative?

A new initiative. And then it's a battle royale. Can you render me invisible? What's that? I wasn't talking to you. Oh, I'm sorry. I can. I shall go first. And I shall be invisible and wait for the next one of us so we can then take them on. I will be next.

I will have my revenge upon these things that oodled at you down there. Yes. No one oodles it, my friend of mine. I'll have his revenge as well. No! My friends, my friends. Revenge shall not offer you anything fulfilling. Simply settle for killing.

And saving the world. Right. Are you ready? Yes. All of you. Invisible. Yes. Oh, I'm mad as a cut snake.

This is all in the sheet. This is all in the Australian sheet It's all in the Australian sheet. Then let us go. One, two, three, four. Invisibility. I'll give you a surprise round. Roll for initiative. All right!

This is a weird game. I don't know what we're supposed to do, but I think it was flea. Here we go. All right, let's talk initiative. This is really going to determine how this all works out. Aldo. 19 for Aldo. Pretty good. Pretty good. Halster. 18. 18. Sir Julie. 6. 6. Atticus. 14. 14. Okay. So I'll take it a step further up. I'll put all you idiots down here. You basically are all stacked on top of each other here.

That was your, you slid down, you're invisible. This is your surprise round. It's Aldo's turn. All right. Aldo is going to jump down the hole. No, no, we're down there. You're already down. So you're down on the floor, and now you get your action.

I'm going to jump now that I'm down the hole. Just going to jump. A little jump. Just a little stutter step. Like Abbaso Siriano catching a fly ball. Just going to jump a little bit. And then he's going to say, Boy!

You dumb buggers! Catch this! And throws a bomb at the one closest. Yeah! Oh dear! Don't miss! That is a 19 against Touch AC!

You dropped the bomb on me. Yeah, dude! All right. That is 16 points of fire damage. Capers! And a reflex save from the other one. All right, so 16 to this first one, and then a reflex save for the other guy is a 19.

Okay, so they saved. So that's 19 points of fire damage to the 16 points of fire damage to the one, four to the other one. But the one that I hit is on fire. Beautiful. Skid, I think you owe the beautiful people of Columbus, Ohio a bomb! Can he reach the front row? Boom!

Yeah! Caught it in the air. Love it. You shot it happy. Gotta wait for that one. All right, so that guy's on fire. Gotta wait for that one. Alright, so that guy's on fire. Now, obviously you guys can't all share the same space,

so go ahead and choose one space to move to out of this spot. You mean right now, not counting our supplies? Yeah, it's going to give you a free space, because you came down there and you initiated combat. Okay, great. Wonderful. Can I, I just, I, I, no. There we go. It is fucking Halster's turn. Halster,

what do you do in a surprise round? Yes, in a surprise round where I get one standard or move action, Halster is going to slash out, not looking for vengeance, but for death, and here comes the attack, a 29 to him. Oh my goodness!

He burns! He's got a 21 strength! This is your daddy's Halster! Here it comes, baby! That is max damage, 15 points of damage! Boom shakalaka! Boom! Boom! Oh, these anabomics feel great.

It is Atticus's surprise round. Atticus, what are you going to do? Atticus is going to... No, I'm going to try something rather different. Atticus is going Atticus Atticus is going to appear

in the square behind the two of them. Look at the one who was not hit by the bomb. Uh-huh. And just look up at it and get across in this weird and strange language. Whose mind is feeble now and stands right next to it. Now, is it really him or is it an illusion? It is an illusion.

It's an illusion, Michael. It is an illusion of him. But you remain, your corporeal form remains here. Yes, and invisible. Okay. All right. Seen this trick before. corporeal form remains here. Yes, and invisible. Okay. Alright. Seen this trick before. But only once.

Make no mistake. This is not silent image. It speaks. It has odor. It has all major image. It stinks like a rat! Guilty rat! You dirty rat! It is Sir Julie's turn in a surprise wrap!

They didn't hear that on the podcast. It's all right. Sir Julie shall appear as she takes one massive swipe. Yes. At the elder thing before her. Power attack. Yes. Serious focus.

20 to him. attack. Yes. Serious focus. Ooh. 20 to hit. Hit. Yeah! Yeah! To pieces. Get it, Julie. Shred it. That is going to be 16 points of damage. Ooh. Not bad, Sir Julie. Not bad. Hope everybody enjoyed

their surprise round. That took a lot of damage. It sure is. Yet the creature lives. Round one. It is Elder Thing 2's turn, which is the one here in the back that was just yelled at by this fucking image.

These are highly intelligent creatures. I'll tell you right now, 20 intelligence, these things are. Whoa. But how wise are they? Don't worry about it. I love how they're talking shit on my feeble mind. I'm a 19, man. It's one point.

Have you lived hundreds of years? Maybe. Maybe. You don't know. Have you lived hundreds of years? Maybe. You don't know. These stupid fucking images.

I got to play like a fucking dummy for these 20 and... Oh, I'll just strike down the image. Lose my turn. All right. Oh, so dumb i will attack your image with a tentacle whips out at it this is one of those things i wanted to talk to you about before the show here we go all right 12 to hit your image now here i'm interacting with the image you know there is a precedent, having read the boards, that in other

spells, not major image, but other spells, an image has an AC of 10. Shut up! You don't make the rules! Most likely they know them better than you. Where is security? Security! Security!

Brennan! Take this liar out of the audience! they know them better than you. Where's security? Security! Security! Brennan! Brennan! Brennan! Take this liar out of the audience! Son of a bitch. Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Explain to me what you think happens when this guy just like...

with a tentacle. Um... I'm okay with a DC of 10. Basically, what I think is it should hit my AC to really interact with it. Because I can move it around. And either way, hit or miss, I think that you get a will save. You know what? I like that as a fair compromise. If I hit your AC, then I get the will save. Are you good? I like that as a fair compromise. If I hit your AC,

then I get the will save. Are you good with that? Yes, that's what I meant. Yeah, if you hit my AC, you get a will save. You want to shake on it? Yeah. Wow. Wow.

Second attack out of five. Something's fishy about this. You never mentioned the five attacks. Immune to cold damage, you bastard. 14. Miss. Third attack. Gotcha.

25. Oh, that did it. We'll say. Now the wills. I really like this compromise. This is good. This is fun. We're having a good time.

So, like, Atticus is, like, he's invisible's invisible, 15 feet away, and he's controlling the image, and it's whoop. Here we go. Whoop. Okay. 21. Succeeds. Oh, no.

Fuck. Burn three attacks. Okay? Yeah. Now, here's the situation. I can take a five-foot step and now attack Alistair. Yeah, that is true. With two attacks.

Fuck. Maybe I'll attack the real Atticus. In fact, I will. The real Atticus is invisible. He has no idea that Atticus is there. Are you invisible still or you attacked me? He attacked. One could argue that the major image was an offensive spell.

It's not Absolutely not How is that? Boo! One could argue that If one were an asshole And didn't know the rules of the game Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I was offended by the spell.

That should count for something. All right. You guys all made a great argument to kill Halster. Hope you're happy. Now we know how much you care about that character. First attack of the remaining two. 13. Miss. You know what? Let's get Neon Green. first attack of the remaining two. Thirteen. Miss.

You know what? Let's get Neon Green. Oh no! Oh no! Here we go. Final attack. Very, very close. I can't remember your AC. I think I hit it exactly or I'm one short. 22.

Exactly ahead. No! A couple things are going to happen. Oh, man. The scariest thing were those low hits that he had against me. I was like, that low to hit means whatever happens when you do get hit is so goddamn bad. First, we're going to do a little damage. Max damage.

Six points of damage. And then he's going to go for a free grab attempt. Spoiler alert. If I succeed, he constricts. Here we go. 21 against your CMD. Success. Oh, no! Halster has been grabbed,

and now it constricts for max damage, which is six more points of damage. This thing has Halster in its clutches, and now you know the other one has five attacks! Now we're having fun. It is Aldo's turn. All right, Aldo's turn. All right. Aldo is going to,

now he's furious now that his best friend has been grappled by this creature. And he says like, why? You got a smited face like a smashed crab. Moves around

to the back of the cavern and says, I didn't come here for a haircut! Throws another fucking bomb at the other one. At which one? The one that's grappling Halster, or the first one? The one that's grappling Halster. That's minus four.

That is a natty 16! Yeah! Yeah! That's what I say! That is a hit. That is a lot of damage. It's, uh... Come on, you bleeding bugger.

18 damage! 18 damage. You're on fire! Does the other guy have to roll a reflex save? Yes. I don't want to. Your thoughts. Okay, here we go.

Reflex save from the other dude, natural one. Okay. Oh! This guy, by the way, is on fire! Eight more damage to that guy. And because my intelligence is lowered, I can omit one fewer person from my splash damage. So I...

Oh, actually, no. I'm out of the area. I was going to put it on me, but it's okay. I'm still good. Well, isn't it great to be scared? It is. Shut up, Columbus. Go blue. Go blue. Oh.

All right. All right. Shut up. Everybody shut up. It's Halster's turn. Halster can still strike out at this creature, I believe, with his short sword in one hand. He sure can. All right, so here comes a viciously roided up attack from a grappled Halster.

To hit. 28 to hit. Yeah, baby! That is going to be 12 points of damage. Okay. Slicing off one of its dumb slug eye stocks. I have cries out. And it is Elder Thing 1's turn, and he is on fire.

How much fire damage is that? He is indeed on fire. Six points of fire damage. Four hit points left. Yes! Yes, baby! It's tricky! It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky!

Oh! This snake thought it was going to take over the planet! We killed it in a round! No. He is dead. He is dead. The Elder Mythos is being defeated by the power of friendship!

It's beautiful! It's beautiful! I think that's what we learned here tonight. The power of friendship defeats all otherworldly creatures. It is Atticus's turn. Atticus, the real Atticus, is standing next to the one remaining elder thing, a thing that a part of your mind has now inexorably connected to.

So even if you defeat this thing, there's something in you now that can never be erased. Of course, and he was ready to make the deal in a way, but why have it kill all of the people he knows? Okay, he is going to...

Oh boy. This is going to get dangerous. It's tricky. Yeah. He is going to get dangerous it's tricky yeah he is going to cast no he is not defensively he's invisible so he is going to

actually he will cast to be honest it's going to be a safety precaution here I think yeah It's going to be a safety precaution here, I think. Yeah, he is going to cast... Levitate on himself. Ooh, okay. So he's just, like, hunkered in, like, the view of this creature,

and it's holding Halster, and he's like, there's nothing I can do yet, Sir Julie needs to get over there. And he's going to cast Levitate on himself, just in case he has to get the fuck out. Okay. In the fuck out. Okay. In the last minute. I like it.

It's Sir Julie's turn. Sir Julie, you can step on the space of that dead creature if you so choose. I will not choose. I'll just go the long way. Okay. And I'll take one attack. One attack. Power attack.

Power attack. Furious focus. Critical threat. Oh, come on, dude. Critical threat. Critical threat. To confirm. Natural 20. Oh, man.

Oh, that's me. Do we have any Ohio-based, Ohio-based points? Actually, is there a Stephanie from Northfield, Ohio here? Any chance? No? Stephanie? No? Come on, Steph Hi, Stephanie Can I call you Steph? Hi, Stephanie Hi, Stephanie Alright, this one is called I'm Made of Awesome

Oh Whether it's from your God Which it is Years of training with a pure evil in your heart, you are imbued with the cosmic energy of awesome. Normal damage. And your next attack automatically scores a critical threat. Ooh. Wait a minute.

Automatically scores a critical threat. If the critical threat is confirmed, select another crit. Well, you would have selected another crit anyway. Alright, so basically, on your next attack, you don't roll. You just roll to confirm. I mean, that's pretty good, because if nothing else, it's an automatic hit.

Yes. So, yeah. Okay, 21 points of damage. Oh. Too bad it wasn't double damage. Yeah. That would have been... That would have been great. Better than that damage.

Yes, it would have. Best thing about this... Well, he's going to get double damage, essentially. But he could get triple damage or more, depending on the confirmation roll. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's its turn. The top of a new round. but he could get triple damage or more depending on the confirmation roll. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's its turn. The top of a new round.

And it's in bad shape but it's holding Halster. So I could try to maintain the grapple. I mean, it's also on fire. How much fire damage? Two points of fire damage. Still up. And just for shits and gigs, I am going to release the grapple.

Ooh. And I'm going to attack you again. You don't want to attack me? I can't hear you. Thirteen. 13. Miss. 19. Miss.

Natural 20. Oh! Critical threat, critical threat, critical, critical, critical threat. Two confer. Natural two. Yeah! Oh, beautiful, beautiful. Natural two. Yeah! Oh, beautiful. Beautiful.

All right. Five points of damage. I will go to grab. Natty 19 on the grab. Grabs and constricts you for another six points of damage. That was my third attack. I got two attacks left, which I will take at a minus two, because I'm grappling as well. Here we

go. Natty 19, motherfucker. That's gonna be five points of damage. And then the final attack. Gonna be very close. While your AC is down, this is gonna

be a 21. Hit. Max damage again, 6 points of damage. So this thing's just like with its gross tentacles and you're grabbed and you're constricted but it's on its last gross

legs as it goes to Aldo's turn. Aldo sees this thing flaming, wrapping up his best friend again, the second time in its tentacles, crushing the life out of him. And in his lowered intelligence mental state, he pulls out his sickle from his belt.

It runs and slashes at it! Yeah! That's a 21 to hit! That's a hit. Woo! Finish it. That's eight points of damage! It's dead.

Yes! Nothing gets skittish pumped as that music, baby. John Tish. I actually have a good reason for you to play that music again. Because with that kill, you level up. Oh, dear.

What the hell are we supposed to use, man? Harsh language? Because with that kill, you level up. Oh! Oh! Get out of here! We did it! Little Columbus level up. Oh my God. Holy moly. We're going low! We're going low! Amazing.

You just killed two elder things. That's no joke. You level up. You're in this cave now. This is a great place to level up. And you know what? Because we're all friends, I'm just going to say you get all your new powers right now.

Whoa! Whoa! Very generous. Well, I'm a giver. That's what I'm known for. It's kind of my thing. It's kind of my thing. I want to jump right into it then, and I want to just get a kind of broad strokes synopsis of what a level six or seven now six level six uh aldo halster atticus and sir julie looks like as you frantically level up your characters i'm gonna start with uh aldo since he dealt the killing blow. So Aldo, he's still sort of

like he's got the veins bulging out of his biceps and his neck. And then all of a sudden this like goiter forms on his neck. Someone

knows what's coming. So this thing, this growth forms on his neck. And he's like, and he like, with his fingernails, he like rips it open. And he pulls out

this object. What? And he like, he cradles it in his hands and he opens it and it's this thing, it's this like spiky ball. And he like holds it and it's like, it's like covered in like blood and gore. And it slowly unfolds into a little hedgehog.

What? And his new sixth level discovery is tumor familiar. You have a tumor that is now a familiar? Yes. It's not a tumor. It's not a tumor.

Not a tumor. It's a a tumor. Not a tumor. It's a tumor familiar. I have to ask, what is it called? It unfolds and it's like sniffing the air and he like, he's a little confused with his lowered intelligence. He like holds it up to his face and it like sniffs at his nose and like kisses

his nose. He holds it back and he's just like, I think I shall call you Werner. Everybody, meet Werner Hedgehog. It's so horrifying. Wow. Keeps getting weirder. Dare I ask what other abilities you got at this level? Pretty much it.

Just the tumor hedgehog? Yeah. That's cool. Halster, what about you, buddy? Is this a big level? I'm kind of nervous. Are we going to roll HP? Live? Oh, yeah. You got to roll HP. Oh, yeah. you, buddy? Is this a big level? I'm kind of nervous. Are we going to roll HP live?

Oh, yeah. You got to roll HP. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we should. You guys like seeing that live? Yeah. Now, remember the rule. If we roll the same thing, even if it's good, we re-roll.

Skid, what are we rolling here? It's a D8. D8. I should have had a D8. Ooh, Grant got a front row seat to this. What'd you get, buddy? Eight. Seven.

Yeah! Phenomenal. Phenomenal! Grant, what happened, buddy? Did you take a little arcanist? Yep! I have been so absolutely bedazzled

by the presence of Werner Hedgehog that I had no other option but to take Warpriest again. And... Did you get anything cool? A new channel? A bump up in your channel? Bonus feat. I was talking to Joe about that

backstage. It's really, I'm missing some basic things to make Halster very effective in combat right now. So it's power attack. Okay. Boring. And then I got an extra third level spell which means I'm just going to memorize Bull Strength one more time.

Great, great. Because it's the best. But yeah, so an extra third level spell. Remember the Lemon Law? The Glass Cannon Lemon Law applies. If by New York you want a different feat, I will consider it. You ready to roll HP, buddy? Oh, I am.

What are we thinking, D4? I was thinking D12. No, D8. I believe you. Here we go. Grand rules in effect. Ooh. What'd you roll?

You tell me. No, I wanted to know what you rolled. Eight. Six. Yeah! God damn! These guys are so good. That drop was so good.

I feel like this boatodes really poorly for us. Yeah. They took it all, Matthew. They were all rolling. All the good rolls. Let's see how the left side of the table is doing. What does a sixth level Elder Mitho Scholar Wizard get? Mitho Scholar Wizard.

Did I say it weird? Sorry about that. Nothing of interest. Let's just keep it moving. Can I say it weird? Sorry if I went off. Nothing of interest. Let's just keep it moving. He gets, I mean, as a wizard, he gets a ton of skill ranks, so that's going to be fun. And can I learn that language? Like if I put a point in linguistics,

is that a knowable language? It is. In the rules of the game. Well, if I put a point in linguistics, I don't know. Yeah, you know, I like that. I like that the Yithian part of you has left that knowledge behind.

That's really cool, O'Brien. Are you guys okay with it? You're cool with it? You guys okay with it? Left side is cool with it. Well, if they're cool, O'Brien. Are you guys okay with it? You're cool with it? You guys okay with it? Left side is cool with it. Well, if they're cool, then I'm not. Oh, come on. Put your arms going for the air.

What the fuck? I'm more of a right side of the room kind of guy. See how I pit sides of the audience against each other? It'd be a fight on the park. I don't know left side. Fight each other! That was when the great war between the left-siders and the right-siders began. This is a very testosterone-heavy show. What happened? Yeah, I don't know.

It was that mutagen. The night Columbus burned to the ground. All those college kids next door are like, those Glass Cannon fans got really out of hand. which gets next door, like, those Glass Cannon fans got really out of hand. Yeah, you now know the language known as Elder Thing. Yeah! Awesome! It's a language that only they speak, but who knows?

Might come in handy sometime later in the adventure. Yeah, we'll see. I'll take it. I do that a lot, actually. I've done that with Zora a few times where I put a point in linguistics and then I take whatever language I just like interacted with somebody with or something because like there's no way of knowing what's really going to come up in the adventure. So I just sort of go with what works narratively. penalty associated with beginning to understand the unknowable a little bit more based off of your time kind of studying how Lovecraftian, Cthulian horror works. I think what he's getting at is you like to

make life hard for yourself. Would you like to do that now? Yes. Okay. I will say you will fully be able to speak it fluently at seventh level. But you can read it.

What kind of dice are we rolling for your HP? D6. Here we go. I do get two new spells, but I'm not going to mention them now. Let's mention them in combat when they come up. D6? Let me find a good guy. D6. It's brutal, man. I'm going to use old Whitey Bozer. It is Brutes McGreeves. Here we go. 1, 2, 3.'s brutal, man. I'm going to use old whitey bones here. It is Brutes Magritte.

Here we go. One, two, three. Come on, Columbus. One. One. Three. All right. Boom! It's all good, though.

You know what the best part about leveling up to a six-leveler Elder Mythos Scholar is, though? Here in Columbus, somebody gets Tomb of Horrors. There you go. Wow. Right side, right side. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

That is my favorite. Oh, that was so good. Thank you so much for coming. We have a good time. Congratulations. Congratulations. Watch your fucking back. I think he's got VIP.

We'll take him later in the alley. Matthew, I saved you for last because I know this is a big level for Sir Jules. There's not that much that goes on. Oh, really? Anything jump out at you? Yeah, I got a new mercy. A new what?

A new mercy. Oh, that's good. And two attacks. Oh! You're done, kid. You're done. Two attacks around, dude? Forget it.

His name is John C. All right. All right. A new mercy. Two attacks. Power attack. Furious focus. You could be dealing like 50, 60 points of damage around now.

It could be bad for you. Could be. I want to warn you. Coming for you, Sir Julie. What's your die, buddy? D10. D10. Oh, I didn't bring any. Alright, here we go. I feel like this is going to be... Oh, you got a bad one, huh?

Alright. Oh, I hope we have a roll off. Those are always fun. Okay. Okay. What'd you get? Two. Five. Okay. Alright. What'd you get? Two. Five. Okay. All right. Shit. We really did.

The left side of the table got screwed. Good five drop. Good five drop. All right. You are now imbued with new powers, and they all come to you. Yeah, I feel like maybe it is emanating off of these creatures in some way. It's like their destruction has infused us

with some otherworldly strength. The act of facing them has empowered us directly. Yeah, that's cool. Now, Skid, when i was uh role playing while destroying my voice with joe i saw you light up as i was giving out some of that information uh do you want to enlighten this idiot as to why uh well actually well there were two things one thing was that uh aldo has comprehend languages so he could have at least understood what they were saying if not actually communicated with them And the other thing was that they mentioned

that they have been interred since the serpent folk ruled this part of the world, which is like before the Aslanti Empire reached its ascendancy. Like this is who they were fighting before they established their empire. So this is millennia. This is like in the very earliest days of like

any sentient being walking the surface of this planet these creatures were there the age of serpents as it's known it's it's phenomenal and i thought the same thing is if you guys uh got deeper into the emerald spire it starts to be like here's reckoning of the Age of Serpents. It goes way back. Like you said, before the Aslanti. It's so cool.

So the information that really jumps out at you is that the polyps, these flying polyps are the ones that came and erected a triad of monuments in two places. Now you now know there are three monuments here, but the Elder Things have told you there are

three monuments elsewhere as well. Somewhere else. Gateways that they could use to bring their patron, Zomendor, here. And did I get the sense that those three other monuments were in another city in Galarian, or a place in Galarian, as opposed

to meaning the other three monuments are just in Carcosa? No, here, in Galarian. Just add it to the list of other things we've got to deal with. So he'll explain that to them as well. These three stars today are not the only ones.

There are others. They are able to move between their world and ours so easy. And somehow they gave Melisande access to it. We need to find her as soon as possible. I feel invigorated.

I feel strengthened. I've learned things I've never known before. They try to hold their knowledge from me But you slaying them You slaying them Has helped me learn things I never knew

Let us push on After we search the pool And he dives in You dive into the water? He goes to the water and does detect magic. He what? He goes to the water and does detect magic. Ah, he detects magic.

He does not detect any magic in the water. Can I do a perception check in the water? Is it clear water or is it murky water? It's a little murky. You can go in it. Swim around if you want. What's the left side say? It's like a fucking idiot with all his scrolls on him. He dives

in the water. You dive in the water. You dive in the water. I assume you give yourself some sort of light so you can kind of see through the murkiness. Roll a perception check. He's a rat man. What? He's a rat man.

I don't care what you are. Dark vision. Dark vision. Okay. Well, roll a perception check. You got a good buddy. 17. Okay. We'll roll a perception check. You got a good buddy. 17. Okay.

You do see towards the back of the water a tunnel that looks like it curves up. So it kind of goes deep into the bottom of it.

You see a hole, and you peek in, and it looks like it starts to curve upwards. However, the water just, it's gross. There's something real gross about it. So I need you to roll a fortitude save. Ooh, is this disease-related? Oh, yeah. Well, then he will take a slight bonus.

But... Diseases are bad man they're not good and you don't have do you have any means to take care of diseases you know what do you have any means to take care of diseases I will tell you the mercy I just took

was disease there you go look at that how convenient wait for it hold your applause until the end. Unfortunately, due to my archetype, I can't share that with you. Good answer, good answer.

I actually didn't know he took disease. I just know that every single thing about his archetype is only for him. It's only for Sir Julie. I can rest and take, remove sickness. I think I can rest and take. But not remove disease? Let's see. I ask because I'm considering a bottle cap.

I might take a bottle cap on this to not get a disease. I don't know if I have, it's a level three spell for me. All right, you know what, fuck it. I'm not going to do the bottle cap. Let's just see what happens. Yeah, I can. I'm a rat. I have, it's a level 3 spell Alright, you know what, fuck it, I'm not going to do the bottle cap Let's just see what happens I'm a rat, I'm a hardy rat I have swum in diseased waters before Get out of here with that shit

Easy 18 Everything seems to be okay Which means everything is Everything seems to be okay. Which means everything is... Okay, through this brackish, disgusting water, he's able to deal with it, but this path goes, like, to the surface, you mean? It seems to curve towards the surface? It seems to curve up, yeah.

Did we see a well or anything outside? There was a well in the middle of the... Yeah. Yeah. Did we see a well or anything outside? There was a well in the middle of the John. Is there like does this remind us of what we saw in Fort Hale course? Because we went down a long tunnel. Is there like an underground connection of like all

these? Because the scum were like moved in there or found their way in there. So I'm wondering if they can like pop up anywhere in town. Yeah, the scum came through the town's aqueduct system to get under Fort Hale course. Obviously you're not over there, but you would know, Atticus, that it

has a similar feel to that. This looks like it just goes up, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't branch off in other directions should you start to follow it. He'll swim back up to the surface. Emerge to the surface. Water coming all over his fur. He's just like,

the water's disgusting. Don't come near it. I think, though, there's a path below. I'm going to see where it leads. Hold a moment. And he goes back under. Wow. He goes back under. And he's going to start swimming, kicking his little rat legs deeper in. I'm picturing seriously rats of NIMH, like when they're in the water.

Yeah. You don't have a swim speed, right? Oh. Forgot about the rules. No, I don't have a swim speed. The only reason I ask is we need to track how long you can hold your breath, which is twice

as many rounds as your constitution. But you do need to roll swim checks if you're going to start swimming up. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If that's what you want to do, let's be adults here and play by the rules. Okay. Okay. Okay.

What is your constitution? 14. Okay. So you got 28 rounds. Fuck. You start swimming with your dark vision. Fuck. And you see that about 15 feet away or so

it keeps climbing up and then it splits in two directions. Up and then further like a passageway off to the left.

This is a NASCAR race. Left! Left! Left! Come on, Dale. Come on, Dale. You do realize this is tight here. Your companions, if they are adept at swimming,

although it's Sir Julie's plate, it's going to be tough, and they've got to deal with whatever poison is in here. It's going to be tricky, but you're small. You can squeeze. What do you do? Do you know the rules for spellcasting underwater? What do you want to do?

Cast a spell underwater. First, I want you to make another fortitude save. Another one? You are not immune to whatever is in here. Well, how often does it repeat? As often as I fucking want. As often as I fucking want. Fucking dick.

Well, shit. Yeah, man. You're not forever clean from whatever this disease is. 17. Everything seems to be fine. But you know the longer you stay here, the more you're going to have to fight against this. And I don't say this to discourage you from exploring.

I'm just letting you know the reality of the situation. Should you continue to travel, you will have to continually roll saves against this brackish water which is actually getting more murky and more gross. Now you may be fine. Even though you barely made

the last two saves. He's just trying to goad me. But will your friends be able to watch? Without knowing the rules for casting underwater, it's DC 15 plus the spell level is your check. Thank you, Grant.

What kind of check? Concentration check. Okay. Concentration check, DC 15 plus the spell level. Okay. Then I will do a concentration check. Okay. DC 15 plus the spell level.

Okay. What level spell are you trying to cast? A second level spell. Okay. Easy little DC 17 concentration check. Also, Troy will love this part. Some spells might function differently underwater, subject to GM discretion.

My two favorite words in the English language. Come on, Joe. Show them how it's done in Ohio! Okay, here we go. Ah, shit. Sorry, just... So it's just my level. That's hard.

Okay, here it is. Natural 20. Yeah! And it's blinking! Yeah, baby! And his name is John Cena! Yeah! He casts...

Yeah, Joe Hiaw! Oh, I like it here in Ohio. I cast Mirror Image on myself. Okay. And you will continue to swim. Okay, which way do you swim? Why don't you roll a die, Joe? All right, who wants left?

Who wants right? That's tough. I think the rights have it. I'm going right. Oh, abandoning the left. Go ahead and give me another fortitude save. I wanted him to go left. The left never forgets, Joe. The left never forgets, Joe.

The left never forgets. Give me that fourth save. You're due. He's got five images. I don't care. Oh, okay. Oh, no. Fifteen. There she is.

Suddenly you're overcome by a very familiar feeling. Felt fever. Something doesn't feel right. What do you want to do? You want to keep swimming? I mean, I didn't go anywhere. You didn't show me anything.

I turned and I've got dog vision. Can you show me anything? I mean... All right, so to the right, it looks like it continues going like in a parallel direction to the cave, whereas continuing to the left is going up. So don't think about this map

in three dimensions. To the right, it's going like parallel to your fight in the cave, whereas to the left, it's going up, up, up. Alright, he'll start on the right side. He's got to turn it to the left, it's going up, up, up. Alright, he'll start at right side.

He's got to turn it to the left. Oh, shit! I wanted to go up. That was my whole point, is to see where it goes up. Okay. Well, he's got darkvision. How far does he see? Does it turn right there? Yeah, if you go to the right and you look, it looks like it continues going.

And honestly, it has a very, do you have Dungeon Earring? I do. Give me Dungeon Earring. Don John Earring. Don John Earring. That is a 16. 16. It has a very similar feel to what you saw in Fort Hale course that Graham was talking about. You get the sense that this thing is going, this is feeding water from the aqueduct system into this

pool and then wherever it's going up. Could be another well, could be something else, but going to the right, it's not going to lead you anywhere really. Okay. He's swimming. He keeps swimming up. I don't need you anywhere, really. Okay. He's swimming. He keeps swimming up. Keeps swimming? Okay.

You keep swimming. You're starting to feel a little sick. But you just keep swimming and swimming. And now you know, like, okay, I'm actually getting to the point where I've got to turn back or I will not be able to hold my breath any longer. And it just keeps going. Endlessly. Fuck. You don't see an end in sight. It's going up

and it doesn't end? Wait. You're going to the right, right? No. I turned and went left when you said it goes up, up, up. Okay, I usually just go by where your fucking character is on the map. Oh, so you're doing it from the way you're looking at it, not the way the character is coming to the corner?

Joe. Who's the dummy here? I'm the dummy? Is the dummy Joe? No. I'm the dummy? Yes. You would say that no matter what I asked.

This way here where your character is, to the right. It's almost as if there were... It's almost too bad we didn't invent cardinal directions to help us in this situation. I told you it's tricky, because you've got to think of this in three dimensions. To the right looks like it's just... Please...

It's tricky! This is hard enough. To the right. It looks like it's just going to the aqueduct system. Atticus swam to the intersection, and he went to the right. Yeah. And you said left went up. Yes.

So he's going left now. Okay. That's the way he's going now. All right, so I'm going to move your character to the left. Which way are you looking? That's the left! He's thinking about you, not the Atticus, as he's swimming towards the intersection.

Oh, because it's turned... Yes, it's almost as if he was trying to inhabit the character he was playing. Well, he didn't move his guy on the board. Do you see what I have to deal with in my home game? Do you see this? He didn't move his guy! You gotta move your guy! Alright, that's a grant move.

I want to go up, up, up, up, up, up, up. Keep swimming. Fucking kill you in Columbus. It amazes me. Was that my fault? It amazes me that we still pretend that we can entertain people with arguments about left, right, west, and east.

Dude, not for nothing. You're asking me to be like, oh, hold on. Let me just flip my computer screen upside down and know that you meant right when you didn't even move your guy. So why don't you use west and east? I'm not talking to you, Matthew. I literally moved him to one side and then said I'm switching to the left and moved him to the other side. Okay, well, Atticus drowns and dies. Halster, what do you do?

You keep swimming? Yeah. You fucking dummy? Keep going. If it keeps going up, I keep swimming. Okay, you keep going up. Running out of air. So wait, did I get to the point now

where if I don't turn back, I can't get back No, you can get back Alright, he's going to keep going up Keep going? Yeah Okay You keep going I see something

And you see That it ends In a little tiny well with a lip leading up to air. Oh, no. You come out. He looks up into the well. What does he see?

So Atticus... Oh, man. Atticus comes out. I love this. You see a low, circular stone wall marking the lip of a well in the center of this room. A bucket sits beside a block and tackle attached to a wooden frame near the wall of this round chamber,

and you see a corridor exiting to the west. Oh, dear. Oh, God. All right, he will go invisible. And he will start sneaking down the corridor to the weest. Do a perception. In this room, at least. Twelve. You just hold at least, 12.

You just hold your horses, O'Brien. Start going down the corridor, or at least that's your plan. Just say, okay, interesting. Just saying. Okay. Interesting. Perfect.

You hop out and you start walking down that corridor. Roll a perception check. Fuck. Eight. Who's clapping? Who did that? Somebody over there. Yeah.

What was your goal here? To put on a good show. Well, isn't it simple? Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? That you did. Because at that moment,

you start to hear a very, very familiar sound. A sound that sounds like you, in a way. But lots and lots of sounds like you. As all of a sudden... Rats begin to come out. Oh, come on! Oh, disgusting! Not rats! Oh, disgusting. Those rats.

Oh, God. Oh, my God. Wait a second. Give me a second. Seven dire rats crawl out of a hole in the back. What is this? And behind them is an awful, awful, awful sight.

It looks like several giant rats have become tangled together. Rat King! Rat King! In a horrible mess, only known as the Rat King! Rat King! In a horrible mess only known as the Rat King. Oh no! Oh God no! And your friends

are nowhere to save you. Oh God. And we'll see you in New York. Oh! Not the rats! Oh, God! Columbus, I love you guys!

You're amazing! Oh, my God! Oh, God. you