The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 44 – Tiger Bomb

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

The wild Indianapolis weekend continued with more Glass Cannon Live! at Helium Comedy Club. This time joining the crew was Paizo's own Erik Mona as Tiny Murder Klowne reemerged to join the heroes deep within the Enchanted Forest of the Dreamlands. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Grant Berger and Matthew Capodicasa as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/FWZ05qrUF60 Recap 9:40 Gameplay 16:13 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping. Robo code searching. It takes skill. Speed. Sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet,

a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus, and Amazon Prime. All starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack. All starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack. Only at CUDO. Conditions apply. The all-new Hyundai Kona electric SUV. It charges fast.

And goes far. It's how we made it more one. You are listening to the glass cannon network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. We are riled up. It is reverberating off the walls. Wow. How we doing, day drinkers? Wow, we thought it was going to be a real slow time in here tonight, but you guys are fired up!

My computer reset, so all my notes are gone. Oh, my goodness. It's in Windows right now, which is fun. The only reason it does that is so I can play Gloomhaven. But now I can play Gloomhaven on the Mac. So this is just rough. What was I going to say? I'm always worried when we do a matinee

that it's just going to be an elderly crowd. All the blue hairs come out for the matinee. I don't know if you know this, but most of our audience is 70 plus. Did you know that? But so, just to be safe, we'll keep everything

PG-13 this afternoon. No, we'll not talk about our enormous fantasy penises. Defiling monster corpses. That's Matthew's thing. He's always going on and on about his huge

fantasy characters. God, I hope your and on about his huge fantasy characters. God, I hope your notes come back. Going to town. Please, God. Going to town on a dead orc. That's Matthew's weird role-playing kick. No, but seriously, on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being

paranoia about getting COVID this weekend, and 10 being fired up to watch five men play pretend. Where are we at today? Good! I just got COVID. You just got COVID from that cheer from the crowd.

We have a special guest with us this evening. He is the publisher of Paizo Inc. and he is also one of our closest friends. Give it up for Eric Monack! Hello! Hello! Eric! How are you, buddy?

We got you doing a lot of shows this weekend. You're a busy boy. I am having a great time. It's been great to be in the on-floor studio working with you guys. And now to be here at the Helium Comedy Club. Holy crap. Isn't this nice? Very nice. You get to see all their faces.

I cannot see shit, but it is nice. You can smell who's been showering and who hasn't. Well, thank you for coming out here. We always like having you. And we especially like having Tiny Murder Clown. Oh, no. I look excited to contrivately shoving him

into the adventure tonight. Now I'd like to introduce you to three other men whose significant others don't care about size. Is that it? Yeah, that's it. That's all I got. We're into girth. No.

You have a lot to say about our penises. You know, I just, it's my front door joke. I go for wieners. I'm a hack, damn it! Everybody else stay up till 3 a.m. drinking 300 beers? No? Cool. Yep, there they are.

I hear them. You guys missed out? Got a lot of networking done. No, first up is a writer and beard enthusiast who enjoys musical theater and correcting people's grammar in polite conversation. Give it up for Matthew Campanacasa!

Go on. Go on. Wow. Too much. It is all old ladies. I guess it is. Bunch of mother-in-laws in the audience tonight. Matthew, big Matthew crowd. Apparently.

Or maybe just a big beard crowd. I think that's what it is. You were busy. You just went over to the booth and played for two hours and then ran back here. That's true. I had a blast. How are you feeling? Well, I just played Sc for two hours and then ran back here. That's true. I had a blast. How are you feeling? Well, I just played Scum and Villainy with Jared Logan.

Awesome. As you know, great game, but also Jared is an excellent GM, so I've never played with Jared right before playing with you, so I worry about you. He brings you up and I'll bring you down. Obviously, we missed Grant this evening, but I'm glad to have Eric here, and sadly, Matthew is with us,

but we are very thankful to have the first member of the network that will benefit from our currently non-existent retirement plan. We need to get one of those. Give it up for Skid Mara, folks. Skid Mara. Thank you. Skid Mara, folks. Oh, thank you. Skid!

Skid, I was thinking about this. Do you think about when you'll retire from doing this? Yeah, all the time. Yeah, pretty much constantly. Are we going to be just like doing Glass Cannon Live in a strip mall, opening for REO Speedwagon? Well, that's the thing.

It's not like football. I can just keep doing this as long as my mouth still works. Yeah. Yeah. But will we look lame if we're really old doing it, trying to bring the funny and we're telling Oliver North jokes and stuff. Stuff that's wildly out of touch with a young audience. We are really old in telling Oliver North jokes.

How about that Jessica Hahn? She's quite a firecracker, right? Right? But the important thing is, quickly, for those who were at the last show and disappointed in any way, I believe... Thank God.

What did you do different to get it to work? My computer is made out of magic, and it sometimes will catch made out of magic, and it sometimes will catch some kind of field, and it's just, I don't know. I don't know. But the staff was very helpful, too. They managed to figure out some problems as well, so yeah.

That's good. And now you'll at least know how to fix it next time. Sure, just wait. And lastly, you know him as Joe O'Brien. Don't get too excited. He went to bed at 7.30pm last night No, no Shouldn't have done that Everybody knows that Gen Con starts at 9pm

Because you're going to go out and you're going to network He is so unflinchingly rigid In his terrible decision making Just drives you nuts. Joe Bright. I feel great. Matthew.

There they are. Shut up, LeBat. I'm tired, Jen. You lose that title. Matthew was out till 1230 lose that title. Matthew was out till 12.30 a.m. Matthew! He opened the tab

and you were sleeping. The difference is that when Matthew is out till 12.30 a.m., he can have an Amaretto Sour at 9.15 and drink water the rest of the night

and be completely fine. I'm incapable of doing that. If I go out, it doesn't stop until I go to sleep. And then I just feel terrible the next day. Terrible. We are having amaretto sours tonight. You know that. You just sealed the deal. Are we going to be bad?

We're going to be so bad. Amaretto sours are delicious. A round of amaretto, please. It's too much sugar. This has been, there's still two days left, obviously, but I think this has been

the best Gen Con experience of our life. That's what I said last night. Best Gen Con ever. Yeah, has everybody come by the booth? Booth 174? Yeah. I saw you there, and you there, too.

You were there. Obviously, it's just been wild. This was an idea that came together pretty last minute, and I'm shocked at how well the team has pulled it off. And so thanks to all of you that have helped us to do stuff like this. Yes. Thank you, guys. Very, very excited.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. It is your support that allows us to take big risks like this, and we've already booked a booth twice the size for next year's Gen Con. Maybe three times the size.

They weren't as excited about that. All right, twice the size. A 60-foot booth. Half the size? As usual, I have a lot I want to get through tonight, and we'll get through about a quarter of it. So I'm not going to waste any time. Can you take it to the recap?

Oh, boy. Oh. I don't know if you can take it to the recap. Oh. Why is it so weird all the time? See the space bar? Yes! Thank you, Grant Berger.

Thank you, Grant. Pretty good recap that was only four or five seconds late. Let's talk about this recap. This is a short one. Our heroes, in case you haven't been following the story and you stumbled in here thinking it was Dane Cook, prepare to be disappointed.

Our heroes... You know it's not Dane Cook because his fans tend to be much younger. That's true. Oh no. You just insulted the crowds, kid. How dare you do an age joke? I was going after Dan Cook. Don't you mean the news? Too late.

Our heroes have been doing their best to navigate an area of the dimension of dreams known as the dreamlands they are trying to track down a man named Count Hazerton Lowles the fourth a man some of them used to work for who at some point during their employ sacrificed their minds and memories and locked

them away in an asylum now that they're out they've been trying and memories and locked them away in an asylum. Now that they're out, they've been trying to find him, and eventually they discover that he is on the hunt for some very specific knowledge. At some point during his research, he enacted a ritual to enter the dreamlands to continue his studies. While he was there, he met someone named the Mad Poet who told him that the knowledge he seeks

is in a book called The Necronomicon, which is located far away to the south. So you're taking a boat down the river to find this Lyle's to chase him. But you have all this shit of his. And so you start reading his books and whatnot,

and you find the ritual he used. So you enact Lyle's dream ritual, whereby you meet a man. Somewhere in your memories, you think this man to be Lyle's himself, but he says, oh no, I am not Lyle's. I am the... I was the... There I am.

I am the Yellow King. The Yellow King explains you want to know more about the Lyle situation Uh oh I'm going to kill you I mean there is no greater horror for you Than your microphone going away

Hello Can you hear me I can project I just did it With my ears I used to tread the boards And all the hands Your mic is unplugged, Troy. Apparently you haven't been mic'd on stage for 25 years. We didn't have microphones in the theater. You didn't need them when you had a voice like mine.

I could whisper a soliloquy from King Lear And they'd hear me in the back room If only you had performed soliloquy from Carousel You would have learned how to use a microphone I don't know what Carousel is The fuck was I talking about? You met this guy, you thought he was lousy Nope, he's the Yellow King

And the Yellow King and the Yellow King explains to you that if you want to know more about Lowell's and his situation, you should also seek an audience with the mad poet as well. But in order to do so, you should do what Lowell's did. Travel the dreamlands in search of specific gifts to give the mad poet in order to gain his favor. gifts to give the mad poet in order to gain his favor. So you research the first gift and travel to an opulent and creepy ball to secure a Viscount's signet ring. The second gift is a purple and blue mottled feline tail that you discover while doing your research belongs to a creature known as a pard that lives somewhere in the enchanted forest in the dreamlands. So, you enact the ritual.

You travel to this forest and are attacked by a terrible anthropomorphic horse creature known as a Tikbalon. More familiarly, Michael. His name was Michael, and I say was because after a

thrilling and brutal battle you finally defeat him. As you do so, a group of tentacle-faced rodents emerge from the shadows. They are creatures known as zoogs, native inhabitants of the trees of the enchanted forest.

Your newest companion, a barbarian who spent his life in the Dreamlands after getting lost from his parents, was raised by Zoogs and became their king. But they no longer recognize this pretender, Xantar, as their ruler. Xantar challenges their new king. What was his name?

Charlie Thumbbottom. Charlie. Charlie. Challenges this tiny one and a half foot zoog to single combat and annihilates him. While they do not recognize Xantar as their king again, they do.

They are impressed by his prowess in battle and they agree to give you the pardtail you seek. If you rid the area of tigers who hunt the boughs above and bring them the sweet feline corpses in return so that they may feast. bright sun above, Sir Julie notices flickering lights in the bright sunlight, creatures flying towards you, going in and out of visibility in the bright light. They are known as lurkers in light. And they attack. But first, let's flash back to the Selin Starling, the boat that you're on as it glides across the calm waters of the Selin River we see the little

halfling captain, Skywind Freeling, talking to her crew, she's like she's Irish, alright listen up men those weirdos we brought on the boat at Thrushmore are having another one of their dream orgies below deck.

I made a deal with them that then when they return, they're going to swab the deck and clean up all the River Drake shit and stuff. So you leave it there. They'll clean it up. However, in the meantime, and as she's talking, Fingers O'Toole yells out, Man overboard! And all the crew rushes to the side of the deck, and they look down, and sure enough, there's some creature flailing in the water,

so they grab some poles with hooks on them, and they lower them into the water, and they try to pull this creature onto the boat. And when they do, they notice it's someone they've seen before, a very small gnome dressed in a brightly colored ghillie suit. It's Tiny Murder Clown! Oh! Oh, thank you for saving me. There are many things that I do best,

but swimming is not one of them. Are you all right, little one? We thought you were dead for sure when you got pulled overboard by those things we fought four or five episodes ago. Yes, I've been floating in this river all along, shouting for your attention, and no one has heard me until now.

I've been hanging on to some seaweed trailing from the back of the boat. This is embarrassing, you know. I heard that yelling, but I thought it was my dreams. Often in my dreams, in my waking nightmares, I hear people screaming. Never once did I think to look behind the boat. Never occurred to me once.

It might want to start. And you've been swimming ever since. Well, I've been dragged along. I'm so sorry. And I've been pretty lonely. Oh. I miss my oldest friends.

Well, your weird friends are downstairs below deck. I'd knock before entering. I never know what's going on down there. No, no, not them. I meant Fingers O'Toole, Fanny Creminger, Dinky Fustable, Pedro Alacabam, Porkchop McIntyre, and Spitty Pie.

Well, then you're in luck. They're all here. That's good. I'm going to go see my other friends now. No, we should just role play this while your friends are talking about it. Spinny Pau, unfortunately, is taken ill. She got dysentery. She's in the toilet or whatever we call it on a boat.

The head. You know where your people dump those buckets, right? Oh, no. This isn't a ghillie suit. That is embarrassing. And again, I felt as if as they were doing it, the screams got louder. But again, it was just my past

haunting me. It was you yelling as we dumped shit onto your head. Didn't you hear me say, I got some in my mouth? Yes, but again, I thought it was a very specific memory of mine. More the fool I was to not

take two seconds to look out the back of the boat. Do you know how hard it is to sleep in the water? I imagine it's very difficult. You look quite haggard and hungry. We'll be stopping soon to resupply it and sir, I'm glad you're okay. Go see your other friends.

I better go see my friends. Where were they, you say? Downstairs. Just take that door. Take a right at the landing, and like I said, knock. I should let you know, though, one of your friends is in the brig. knock. I should let you know, though, one of your friends is in the brig. He did some weird stuff. And so we need to lock him away until Nashville. And...

He's down there, and you can talk to him. But don't give him any food, and don't try to break him out, or I'll throw you back in the water! I'm sure he's enjoying his solitude. Where's the rest of them? Down these stairs? Down those stairs. You can't miss them.

Okay. I just shake off some more water. Do you have a towel? No, I'm so sorry. Okay. We don't carry towels on the boat. You dry under the sun, just like our forefathers did. Okay, I'll go downstairs.

All right, see ya. Sir Julie, where are you guys? It's your old friend Tiny Murder Cloud. I'm back! Oh, no! Imagine hearing that when you're asleep. I know, coming into your bedroom. Oh, no.

Any room for me to snuggle in? You get down the stairs. I just want to be held. You get down the stairs. The door is closed. You knock. No answer. Knock again. No answer. You open it. You go in there.

Ta-da! And you don't hear anything. There is a staircase in the middle of the deck leading below deck, and you would think where you are, there shouldn't be much more to the ship. That if anything, if you walk down those steps, it would lead you directly into the water.

And as you stare at this, you do hear a voice in the back. And you see your old pal Halster Price sitting in a cell. And he talks to you in his trademark voice. Greetings, fair gnome. It is good to see you this day. Halster, what have you done to get in the clink?

Oh, terrible things. I shaved a rat and stuck needles in him. What? It's a long story. I'm haunted by my past. But the point is, I deserve to be in here. So here I shall stay. But your friends, they went down those stairs. Follow them!

Okay, but if you need help for any tips, escaping is what I do sixth best. No, no, I deserve this. Talk to me in Nashville. I'm sure I won't. Bye! And I walk down the stairs. Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good, Mona.

You walk down the stairs, and as you walk, you're shocked at how far these stairs go down. And you keep walking, and then slowly the stairs begin to turn into, like, knotted wood. And you see branches and stumps and leaves start to grow out of the stairs as eventually you find yourself on a giant oak tree somewhere else in another world. However, when you do so, you hear a screaming

and Sir Julie and Atticus and Aldo, you are standing there as you hear Xantar just scream and go in and out of focus as you see Xantar just scream and go in and out of focus as you see Xantar and Tiny Murder Clown shifting back and forth in reality until finally Xantar is gone and he's here and nobody asks any questions about it. It's the craziest thing.

And then you roll for initiative. No. Oh. Yeah. It's good. You got your drops. Yeah, I got it. Roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll for initiative.

Oh, I needed those drops back. Yes. Joe, take me to the map. Let's see this forest here. This forested area. Now, if you remember, I said Sir Julie was the only one that hit a perception check to even see these creatures coming toward you. There are perhaps four of them. Little tiny bug fairy creatures.

Bulbous heads. Huge eyes. Let's talk about initiative. Sir Julie, what did you get? 21 and I'd like to remind you that because of my pilgrim's token if I tie with anyone for initiative

I go first oh, interesting I don't care Atticus Grip, what did you get? 21 suddenly I care it's a roll off Atticus Grip, what did you get? 21. Suddenly I care. It's a roll-off.

No, it's not. It's a roll-off. It's a roll-off. It's a roll-off. Because of my faith in Sarenrae, I beat you. Okay. 21. What about you, Aldo? Aldo, Kazimir got a 24.

24? Okay. I'm not subject to the rules of your trinket. What about Tiny Murder Clown, a.k.a. Ferbal Hoss? Yeah, I got a 15. 15. All right. Here we go.

This is what's going to happen. Very, very interesting here. Way up to the north area, you see, I would say even all of you can see, but Sir Julie, you certainly see a creature start flying close to you, but not on top of you. Let me reveal what this creature looks like. Shaka-ka-ka-ka. Oh, I hate them so much. Oh this creature looks like. Oh, I hate

them so much. Oh, this is awful. Oh, I hate them. It's a cool creature. That's the 2E art. It just moves towards you, and then fires this mote of light at you, Sir Julie.

Yeah. Let's see if it hits. That is going to be a 31. Yes, that hits. Awesome. A couple things are going to happen. I bet they will. First thing that's going to happen is that you take some damage.

You take five plus seven points of force damage. And then I need a will save as this light that comes out from its hand hits you and starts to explode around you, covering you in a glow. 29. You're fine. Okay.

You would almost say that you're immune to this glow for 24 hours. Yeah. Now, it moves again, okay? But here's the thing. As it moves, it disappears. What? It becomes invisible. Oh.

And now, it is Aldo's turn. Skid, you were struggling with your alchemist the other day. I was. Did you learn anything new over the past 48 hours? A little. Alright, so first thing I'm going to do is try to identify this creature

and particularly any weaknesses that it might have. So, will this be Arcana again? Sure. If you have nature it would be better, but I'll take Arcana. I could, well, nature I could also do. I'll do a nature.

30. Okay. Looking for weaknesses as you do. Applauding for a knowledge check. This is going to be good. Thank you. Oh my god, I'm so touched. Oh god, I have so many people to thank. I would like our agent, Kevin.

I would like my parents, obviously. Obviously, you know it's a lurker in life. I spoiled that. It has a weakness to cold iron. Do you have any cold iron weapons? Sir Julie, you rocking cold iron over there? I believe I am. Okay.

Not currently, but... And then, what else? So, basically, it has a reaction that it can do every round. When it moves, it can go invisible. Okay? Okay. So, deal with that.

Alright. I wish I had something to help with that. Alright, so I can't see I can't see it. I can't see any enemies right now. You can't see any of them. They are currently undetected to you. Okay. I am going to prepare

an action. I am going to throw a tangle foot bag at the creature if and when it appears. Or if any of them appear. If I see any flying enemies, I will throw a tangle foot bag. Another thing you can do is you can use a seek action to try and detect it. If you detect it, then it's hidden to you and you can still attack it. But you have to roll a flat check to see if it hits.

Okay. Alright, I'll seek it. I'll do a seek action. Okay, seek action. This is going to be against Stealth De Sizzle. 23. 23, you say. Nailed it. Okay. Okay.

So, here's what I'll tell you Somewhere to the south here You detect there is one about 10 feet away from you So if you want to attack it now It's a flat check, DC 11 You can either roll that before or after the attack Okay So he's going to like

He senses this thing behind him And he's going to quickly Pour a couple of ingredients together together from his bandolier. And, boom, throw this beaker in the direction of what he detected. He's going to toss a lesser tangle foot bag in its direction. Oh, natty 19. Whoa. All right.

So that is a 35. That is a critical. Okay. We won't do the fan critical unless it's a natural 20, so that's just going to be double damage. Okay. So now I've got to do the flat check? Yeah, now.

And it's 11 or higher? 11 or higher. I'm sorry. I've got to get you all excited. 19 again? He's trading 19s on a Saturday afternoon. Okay. So on a critical hit, it is a creature is immobilized for one round,

and a creature flying by a wings has its wings tangled, causing it to fall safely to the ground and become unable to fly again for one round. Wow. Okay. That was... Occasionally, these things work out, Skid. And that is a very good one for you to get. So, you hit it. Give me double damage, and then... There's no damage. It's just immobilized, and you can't fly.

Okay. Still kind of fun. You used a seek action. You didn't attack. Was pulling all that shit to make the bomb an action? No, no. It was the knowledge check. The knowledge check. Thank you.

I used quick alchemy to do the other thing. Maybe I couldn't have thrown it on that round. Anyway. Good story. Cut me some slack. I had a terrible time last time. I'm going to take 17 free action. As compensation for what happened to me in the last show.

For your faulty plug. My faulty plug. All right, it is Sir Julie's turn. Sir Julie, you have learned from your friend Aldo that they are weak to cold iron. What do you do? I can see, if I can't see the creature, I can at least see the Tanglefoot bag gripping it. You sure can. To the south of Aldo, you see a Tanglefoot bag gripping nothing.

Now, normally, if a creature goes invisible in front of you, it is hidden to you instead of undetected. However, it became invisible while it's moving, so you have no idea where that one was that attacked you. Just don't want to hear it from Joe in the morning. I wasn't listening. I know. You do see a Tangleput bag right schmah on the map. Where is schmah? Schmah. I stride to schmah. Okay. If you're

pinging it, I don't see it. Okay, I'll put your schmah where the schmah is. There it is. Perfect. Okay, and then I will strike once with my greatsword. I do have a cold iron dagger, but the damage is just so palt strike once with my greatsword. I do have a cold iron dagger, but the damage is just so paltry compared to the greatsword. Don't need your life story. Okay.

That is going to be a 30 to hit. Okay, there we go. Correction. Correction, 31. Well, that changes everything because a 31 is still just a basic hit. Now, here's the thing. I'm still going to need a DC 11 flat check from you

because technically it is hidden. Okay, 15. Okay, give me that sweet damage. Okay, all right. That is going to be 20 points of damage. Whoa! That's more damage than you did all Thursday. That's just not true.

It sounds fun to say. It sounds fun. It's a comedy club, Matthew. It's not a truth club. Wasn't it hilarious, those of you who were there, how much damage I did on Thursday? Don't encourage him. Okay, second attack is a 27.

27 is also a hit. Give me a DC 11 flat check. That's going to be a miss. 10, I miss. I knew it. I can sense it. I can sense it in my bone. I can feel his failure.

That's my turn. Okay, is that it? Is that all you're going to do? That's my turn. Great. Good round. It's time for my lurkers in light to pounce. Oh, and it just so happens that it is the one right next to you.

Now, Skid, it can't fly, right? It cannot fly. Before you go, they rolled a 21? Yes. Wow. That is a fast one. Yeah. You get to go after them.

Don't ever interrupt me again when I'm attacking. All right, so this one is going to... Wait, are you serious? They really roll a 21? Yeah. So your thing works like crazy. My random, obnoxious joke hit two separate ties. You're killing... Hey, is that George Carlin over there?

He's killing it with his random joke. Shut up! Something in the universe is happening right now. All right. This thing's going to claw you, you knight. Here we go. Here comes the claw. All right.

That is going to be a natural one to hit. Yes! Yes! Are you going to play a critical fan fumble? The Disney will tumble Fan fumble Okay Give it to me straight Were you swinging or were you shooting a ray?

I was hitting him with a claw, neither It's a melee claw Natural attack if you have it Except melee. On this sweet new app. Wow. Okay, closest one is Ben from Georgetown, Kentucky. Hi, Ben.

Ben? Ben? Ow, my John. You hit your own John. In just the right place. Roll a fortitude save. Roll a fortitude save. I rolled a 22.

Fail. You gain the sickened two condition. Oh, wow. Awesome. Oh, that's brutal. Remind me sickened. I'll look it up. Okay.

It's bad. Can we just compliment Ben on the best use of John in the world? Yeah. It's just so adaptable. Right. It's so adaptable. He could have been any creature. Any of us.

Yeah. Sickened. I don't like that. Did you look it up? Yeah. What is it? It is you feel ill. Sickened always includes a value.

You take a penalty equal to this value on all your checks and DCs. You can't willingly ingest anything, including elixirs and potions, while sickened. You can spend a single action attempting to retch, which gives you an immediate fortitude save against the DC of the effect. What is the DC? I don't know. You said I failed it. Well, 22 is low. All right, I'm going to retch.

This is how he GMs, by the way. It's a show. All right, well, let me know if I hit the DC when I retch, Joe. Well, the DC should probably be her AC. Here, you take this thing. The DC should be Sir Julie's AC. I mean, that's what it typically is. Yeah, we haven't talked this through.

Ready? I mean, it should probably be the class DC of whoever did it at this point. I guess there's some popular support for the notion. I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. No, that could be it too, but I don't know what that is. Excuse me, I'm talking to the GM. Skid, what is it again? Every character has a class DC that applies to like a wide range of abilities.

Let me talk to my other assistant, GM. Get out of the way. Get that giant Irish head out of the way. What is your class DC? How do I find it? I figured that. Ready and wretches. Oh, God!

What did you do to me? All right, that's a good roll. That's a 23. That's probably still a miss. And wretches again. Oh, God! Damn it you do to me? All right, that's a good roll. That's a 23. That's probably still a miss. It wretches again. Oh, God! Damn it, all right. So that's my whole round.

Yeah! Yeah. Nice, Ben from Kentucky. Well, that sucked. All right, wait a minute. Oh, I still have Xantar here. So I couldn't find Tiny Murder Clown's pawn. However, I did find this pawn called Frantic Gnome.

Nice. That one fun? That is so good. My limbs have never looked so good. We put a lot of hours in to make sure that we don't use the nice art that Angeline made. Instead use Franticantic gnome.

That's probably copyrighted. All right, here we go. There was another one. Look at him on there. That's so funny. So that frantic gnome is just... Was there a manic gnome? Just another manic...

All right, this one is going to come over here. Look at that stupid rat. It flies over near Atticus Grimm, and it's going to shoot a motor light at your stupid face. Come on, Natty19. That is going to be a 33, dude. That is a crit. Oh, no.

Critical threat, threat Critical threat 18 points of damage Give me a will save Fail it, fail it like the failure you are 26 Damn it You could say you're unaffected for the next 24 hours Sweet

However this creature then moves again And as it does It disappears And now hours. Sweet. However, this creature then moves again and as it does, it disappears. Disappears. And now, now it is Atticus' turn. Okay, Atticus is going to...

Boom. I had a long time to think about this. Okay. Gonna put some briars in there. Something weird. Another illusion. Illusion. Illusions. Michael. No briars today.

Well, I shouldn't speak too soon. It's early yet. Atticus is going to fire a ray of frost at the one that's in front of Sir Julie. Okay. Will you take a penalty to that since she's in the way? Or is it an unerring ray? I don't think she's in the way.

But if you want her to be in the way, I will move. You mean the character that's in front of you and the creature? I got a clear line to the creature. Oh, yeah? You want me to move? I'll move. No, you can. I ain't afraid of moving.

No, that's okay. Take your shot. All right. In front of this beautiful audience. Ray. Up. Drop. Dropped. Die. Take your shot. All right. In front of this. Here we go. Here we go. Full audience. Ray. Up. Drop. Drop.

Die. God damn it. Join us. Suddenly not missing the drops so much. I think that actually is a hit. 21. 22 is their AC. So that would be a miss. 21. 22 is their AC. So that would be a miss.

Okay. Second action? That is... Or is that two action? That's a two action cast. And you moved to get there? No, I didn't. So I will...

That thing had attacked me, so he will move away from the group just to get away from that thing that was attacking him. Okay. And get invisible. How fun. It is the last Lurker in Light's turn. Unfortunately, Tiny Murder Clown rolled the lowest of the bunch. And luckily, you moved right next to one of these things, Atticus. And it comes out as it attacks you with its claw.

Actually, I got some spells, don't I? Oh, I forgot I got spells! I'm going to hit you with some searing light. Oh, no. Oh, this is going to be awesome. Here we go. Oh, this is amazing. Okay, shitty roll.

That is going to be a 20 to hit. That's a miss. Yes! Yes! Holy smokes. And that was two actions. Beautiful. So instead I'm just going to move and disappear once again.

See ya rat. It says in its weird fey voice Goodbye rat Tiny murder clown's turn to finish out round one Come on Tiny They glow with an inner energy It must come from their souls

I will swallow their souls And I wrap up my fists And I jog over to him. And for some reason my arms are going like this. And I take my little

stick arms and I flurry them at him. Boo boo boo boo! And I try and punch him a couple times. Alright, so you go right up to the one that Sir Julie is attacking. I sure do. And give it the old college try. I want in on this action! And I flurry of blows.

First is 30. 30, okay. That's a hit. And second is a miss. What was it? Well, it was 15. That is a miss. Yeah. All right, give me the flat check where it is still... Oh, no, it attacked Sir Julie and it didn't go invisible, so it is visible, no was 15. That is a miss. Give me the flat check where it is still... Oh no, it attacked Sir Julie and it didn't go invisible.

So it is visible, no flat check. How about instead you give me a saving throw from the Stunning Fist DC-23! What? Is that Fortitude?

The old stunning fist. Useless. First edition. Tell your boss. Let me take a note. This is really... 22 fortitude save. Oh, well, you fail. You're stunned.

Come on! I'm stunned by this fist. Yes, you are stunned for one round. Oh, but I still have one more attack. So I'm going to throw out my final actions and attack. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. 19 rolled plus... I should really play this character more often.

27. Not a crit, definitely a hit. There you go. There you go, tiny. And I'm stunned? Yeah, well, you're already stunned But I didn't give you damage the first time either You did not

Okay, so let's do a whole bunch So, boy, howdy Wow, that was terrible Seven Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen Plus twelve is twenty-seven points of damage Nice Twenty-seven points of damage

And by the way, am I stunned one? Yeah. So I lose my... You didn't critically fail. No, I didn't. No, you just failed by one. So I lose my next turn. Oh, that's a bummer.

Or I lose one action. You lose an action. Yeah, you lose an action. Okay, great. 27 points of damage. And then did you hit on that last one? No, that was all of the hits. I got you.

Okay. One is stunned. At least three others are still invisible. If you go into round two, and it is the first lurker in light's turn. I like when it's your turn because I can just sit and read. I'll go. This little guy comes up. It's going to shoot a mode of light.

Actually, no. I'm going to do a spell on you. I'm going to do searing light on you, Aldo. No. This is way more damage. No. Okay, 25. That is a heat.

Yikes. Okay, this is a lot of damage. The ray deals 5d6 fire damage. No. Are you a fiend or undead? Not as far as I know. Two sixes already. Three sixes I rolled, so that's going to be 23 points of damage.

Oh, no. Okay. It just says, taste the rainbow. Boom! Steering light fire. And that's its turn. So it will stay visible because it moved and there was a two-action spell. And now it is your turn.

My turn? Yes. All right, great. So it is visible. It is. Right. So I am going to do a quick alchemy and make another Tanglefoot bag. Okay.

That is awesome. Yeah, it's pretty cool. And I'm going to throw it at the creature. Yes, that is a 29 to hit. That's a hit. Alright, so it is immobilized. That's so

smart because it can only use its invisibility thing when it moves. That's the trick. I didn't think of that. We rarely ever do things smart. And you didn't mean to do it. You should have just owned it. It's immobilized.

And then with my remaining action, I'm going to turn about and toss a moderate alchemist fire at the one that is still Immobilized, my last Tangled Lookback. Okay. Oh, yeah, man, I'm crushing it. Oh, that is a 32. That is a 32 to hit. That is exactly a critical.

Yes! Critical Trag! Wait, wait, wait, wait. Critical Trag! Critical! Critical Trag! That is exactly a critical. Yes! Critical threat. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Critical threat. Critical. Critical, critical threat. Joe has to pee in your Cheerios real quick. Go ahead, Joe.

I just told you off. I didn't hear you. I didn't hear what you said. Did you take the multiple attack penalty? That's what he said. That, uh, oh, right. So it's a hit. Sorry, I'm sorry.

I was thinking of it as a spell. Why are you going to make him feel bad? All right, never mind. You told me to do it. I would never say that. Okay, but it is still a hit. So that is ten points of fire damage. Ten points of fire damage.

And it is on fire. And it is on fire. That guy is on fire. That guy is on fire. That guy is on fire. Yeah, Aldo. What a round. Good thing we're not around any wood. Sir Julie, can you...

Fire in the forest? You'll be fine. Sir Julie, can you finish this flaming fairy off? I'm going to try. That wasn't meant to be. Please. Please. Did you hear what Troy said?

That was not meant to be taken the way you took it. It was meant to be literal. My God, you know us better than that. It is actually a fairy that is on fire. Calm down. That's a pretty good defense, Troy. We're doing too well to be canceled. That's when they get you.

That's a 27 to hit. 27 to hit is a hit. I'm assuming I do not need to roll a flat check and it's still visible. Yes. Okay. That is 18 points of damage. It's dead along with everything I said. Yes. Good Lord. Okay. dead along with everything I said. Yes!

Good lord. Okay, how many actions left? Two. Sir Julie will stride to the other one in the other Tanglefoot bag, which is also still visible, it appears. Okay. And I'll swing with my second attack. Alright. Don't forget your multiple attack penalty, as Joe pointed out to Skid moments ago.

Right. That's a 22 to hit. No, 23 to hit. Hits. I was going to say hits exactly. Okay. That is also 18 points of damage. 18 points of damage. One.

And these are some effective characters. This is neat. Okay, one Lurker in Light is gone, but there are still three that remain. Now, let's see which ones. Two of them are to go right now. We have no arguments with you, creature. Be gone!

We don't like you. To the north, one appears, and it's going to do a spell on you. A little bit of fairy dust flies through the air. And lands right on your eyes. I do believe in fairies. Give me a fortitude save. I know

what this is going to be. Natural one. Oh no! God! This is great. This is great. This is great. Critical success. The target is unaffected. Success.

The target is blinded until the next turn. That's success. That's success. Failure. The target is blinded for one minute. Critical failure. The knight is permanently blinded. Amazing!

Oh my god! This is exactly what happened to Baron. Exactly. The exact same fucking thing. In an enchanted forest. I know Exactly. The exact same fucking thing. In an enchanted forest. I know. It's the same fucking thing. Right, on a wooden bridge.

And this is not a mental effect. This is not a mental effect. It's literally dust covering my eyes. Yes, you're blind. You don't think you're blind. You're blind. Yeah, it's not hysterical blindness. It's just blindness.

Your optic nerve is connected to your brain, and I will want to use a hero point. Thank you, blind. Yeah, it's not hysterical blindness. It's just blindness. Your optic nerve is connected to your brain, and I will want to use a hero point. Thank you, audience. Yeah. Can I? No, you can't do it. It's after the fact. Sorry, audience.

But he knew it was a fumble. He knew it was a fumble already. Should I let him use it? Yes. How many people think yes? Seven or eight people. Real 50-50. How many people think no?

That sounded like way more. All right, use your hero point, but I hope when you go to bed tonight that you know what you are. You all right over there? Fine. I roll a natural 18. You make me sick!

Yeah! Hey, hey, the spell is good. You could still buy me for a... You munchkin! Grants at home! He's our normal Munchkin. So that is going to be a 31. 31.

No, yeah, you succeed. So wait a minute. I'm still blind. Yeah, I know. You're blind for the next turn. Great. Okay. I forgot it was my attack.

I'm all over the place here, because you ruined everything! Do you remember when you said you root for us? I don't root for you anymore. Let me play like this. Are you still about to blind me? I'm just going to shoot a motor light at you with my last action.

And that's a miss because I got the attack trade on that. Okay. Doesn't my AC go down if I'm blinded? I don't care. Just put the thing. I rolled a natural three. There's no way

it's going to hit you. All right. It's the other lurker's turn. I believe this is the one. Actually, maybe this is the one that was dead. Someone is trying to send me a photo,

which is weird. They look naked, too. Give me a second, person sending, airdropping me a photo. Uh, sir, I think,

I'll deal with that in a second. There's a lot going on! Eric, I'll show you, too. It's weird. It's a DM from FlamingFairy125. That's it.

Watch your tone, Matthew. Uh, all right. It's weird. It's a DM from FlamingFairy125. That's it. Watch your tone, Matthew. All right, it is Atticus's turn. The other lurker is dead. I am not accepting that photo. Until I get home. You're lost. Atticus is going to draw out a wand. Yeah, okay.

And he's going to fire at the ferry directly north of Sir Julie. Okay. North of Sir Julie. I got you. A scorching ray. Yes. Need to do...

Need to hit on an attack roll here. 22. Hits exactly. Hits. Nice. Exactly. What did you roll? So important.

What? What did you roll? I rolled a seven on the die. All right. Nice. Exactly. What did you roll? So important. What did you roll? I rolled a seven on the die. All right. That is 13 points of fire damage. 13 points. Not persistent fire.

No, not persistent fire from what I can tell. All right. And Aldo, you put one of them on fire. Did that one just go? Was I supposed to roll? That was the one that died, I think. That was the one that died. Okay. And Sir Truly, don't forget, you have one of them on fire. Did that one just go? Was I supposed to... That was the one that died, I think. That was the one that died. Okay. And so, Julie, don't forget, you have a cold iron weapon, so it's going to do five extra damage any time you hit.

No, I'm not using it. You're not using your cold iron weapon? It's a dagger. It does nothing. Sorry I brought it up. Atticus, any actions left? No, drawing out the wand was an action. Okay.

And the spell was two actions. Very good. It is the one right up here that you can't see. Hello. He comes back. I'm going to blind you. Oh, man. Roll a fortitude save.

How's your wizard's fortitude bone? My bone is pretty bad. Yeah, worse. The worst one. Yeah, worse. The worst one. Good. Shit. Don't forget you have a hero point. I've got two, baby.

Well, you can only use it once for one thing, right? Natural 17. Nice. Nice. What's the total? 29. 29. Okay, so you're blinded until the next turn.

Okay. All right, so that was two actions. And then I'm going to make that guy just slide away. He's going to slide away, and as he does so, he's going to become invisible. I feel like he's the leader of the group, and he's smart. Slip, slide, and roll. And finally, it's Tiny Murder Clown's turn. I know it's been 45 minutes since your last turn.

Tiny Murder Clown. Do these things bleed? Yes. So he's finally got a little blood on his hand. Yeah. Because all the rest of the blood that used to go up to his elbow was washed off six weeks behind. It's blue. The blood is blue.

Some of his skin also sloughed off, but let's not worry about that. And so he, again, leaning into the noodley arms of my pawn here, he puts his arms and fists in the air, and he's running up. It takes a circuitous route to flank the lurker in light.

And as he runs, he goes, Give me the kill! Give me the kill! Give me the kill! And then he's going to try to flurry of blows again. Oh my god. Ooh, not real great Give me the kill! Give me the kill! And then he's going to try to flurry of blows again. Okay. Ooh, not real great, if I must say. First one is a 21. But I'm flanking!

So 23. 23. Well, it's AC goes down, so it's a hit either way. Yeah, right. Same diff. And then the second one is literally a 22. So I think that. That is a hit as well. So two hits from the flurry.

He needs to make another. This guy, for the first time, needs to make a stunning fist saving throw. That's a DC 23 fort. Fortitude. Oh, natty 18. 27. So regular success. So he is not stunned. And then I have one more attack. Probably won't hit, butty, 18, 27. So regular success. So he is not stunned.

And then I have one more attack. Probably won't hit, but take this in the eyeball. And oh, natural 20. Yes! Oh! Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. Damn it! I'm so happy.

In the eyeball! My poor monsters. This is going to really, really hurt you. You get a fan critical. Oh, oh, oh! Could be triple or quad damage. Actually, let's resolve the damage from the other two attacks then before we figure that out. Okay, yeah, sure.

So that's 10, 14, 17 plus 12 is 29. Wow. 29 points of damage. Okay, this might... If this is a good crit, this might be enough. I can swallow his soul! Joe looks really excited. I'm really excited. Thank you, Zach Stevens

from Elkhart, Indiana. Oh! In the hole! Stand up. Where is he? Oh, in the hole! Stand up. Oh, stand up. Where is he? Oh, in the back. Oh, he's pumping his hand. He's going nuts back there.

Right. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down. This is amazing. Adrenaline rush. Oh! Especially for Tiny Murder Clown. Monk? Yes, I'm so pumped up!

I'm so pumped up! Your strike connects in such a way that you feel the rhythm of the battle course hard in your veins. Yeah. Deal double damage and gain the quickened condition for one D4 round. Oh, nice.

Woo! Woo! Time to take him to Clown Town! Clown Town! 46 points of damage! the clown town. Three. 46 points of damage. Oh my god. The back of your skull hurts my knuckles.

Do you ever let a mosquito sit on your arm for a long time and watch its abdomen swell? Yes. And then you pop it? That's what happens here. I do like a little breakdance move, but it's all, like, super fast. A super fast breakdance move. Just a pool of blood.

Yes! Yes! One punch! I think at this point I do need to remind everyone that murder is what I do best. Yes! Yeah, it is!

Yeah, it is! The proof is in the pudding that used to be a lurker in light. It is now round three, and it's lurker in light one's turn. My least favorite of all the lurkers. I don't think he's alive no more. No.

Yeah, no, so it's going to go straight to Aldo's turn. Aldo, excellent. So Aldo is going to perform another quick alchemy, and he's going to create a, what's it called, a bottle of lightning. Bottle of lightning? A bottle of lightning, and he's going to throw this bottle of lightning at me. I can't believe you were able to capture lightning in a bottle. I did.

Lightning in a bottle. Message. Got a message in there, too. What does it say? Camera of the lyrics. Send SOS to the world. Just a cast away. Just a cast away.

That's 29. It is 29 to hit. All right. So you're hitting the one that is exposed up here? Yes. 29 to hit is a hit. Okay, excellent. So that is eight points of damage.

Okay. And it is flat-footed until the beginning of my next turn. To everyone? Yeah, to everybody. Sweet. To everyone? Yeah, to everybody. Sweet.

And with my final action, I will use a second attack to throw another bottle of Alchemist Fire at it. Okay. Oh, wow. Okay, that is a 90-16. That is a 25. And that includes what Joe was talking about before, the, what do you call it? The multiple attack penalty? I didn't make it up. Yes, I'm in there. Your words were daggers and skids ears.

No, he was right. He was right. Yep, that's a hit. Oh, wow. Okay, so that is 17 points of fire damage. And it is on fire. Oh, great. And if there happen to be any other invisible Twigjacks adjacent to it,

they also take four points of damage. There are no adjacent ones there, and none of your friends are adjacent either. So just remind me to take that damage on my turn. Great. It is Sir Julie's turn. Sir Julie, you coward. You cheater.

You fool. So this is the trade-off when we use the hero points as detailed in the rules. You consider us cowards? I think you should use the hero point immediately upon failing. Not when a crowd of 200 people tells you to do it. I agree. Call me

old-fashioned, but that's how we did it in the 80s. I agree, but I old-fashioned, but that's how he did it in the 80s. I agree, but I forgot. That's in my defense. No one should ever be punished for their incompetence. No, ever.

No one should ever suffer any consequences for their own incompetence. That's what I think. All right, Sir Julie is going to... She is blind. You still succeeded at blinding me. Congratulations.

I'm going to have her use a seek action to detect the sound of roasting bug and see if I can locate... point myself towards this lurker. Alright, so now what's the DC for this seek? Because it's not trying to stealth, right?

It is a stealth DC? Thank you, Kaid Sir. Would the sound of the fire perhaps modify that DC? No. Why not? Tell me, how easy it is for you to hide when you're on fire? It should be different. It should be different somehow.

Something that's on fire is easier to find. That's true. Almost always. But there's fire all over the place. I smell it. Just roll your perception check. Well, I'm rolling at a penalty. Natural 19.

30. Yep. You smell a toasty fake creature ahead of you. So I take a tentative step forward and I swing with my greatsword. Okay. It's going to be a 22.

It's exactly. Yes. Oh. 28 points of damage. Oh. I'm sorry, what? 28 points of damage. Oh. I'm sorry, what? 28 points of damage. Still up.

That's my turn. Okay. All right, that one is in bad shape, and now it is, I believe it's its turn. It is. Skid, what is the fire damage that I take? Two points of fire damage. And now it's Ted. Yeah! Yeah!

Saturday afternoons at Gen Con used to be fun. Oh, I'm having a great time. I bet you are. Alright, made short work of those things. There goes that guy's turn. It's Atticus. Here we go. This should be good.

There's an invisible one left. One invisible John left. Well, Atticus... And he's taunting you. You can't see me. Show yourself, John, or whatever your name is. No. Now I can hear.

I don't want to. Atticus is going to roll to hear where that's coming from. With a seek action. Fifteen. I definitely can't. I hate him sometimes. So Atticus. Stop it. Stop.

Please stop. Please stop. Stop it. Stop. Please stop. Please stop. In a very minor attempt to defend himself, Atticus is going to cast a shield of force in front of himself, raise it up, and hide behind it

in the direction of the sound, basically. Now you can see me. It's huge. I grew. All right. So it's its turn. This guy did use his searing

light blast and he used his blindness. Hey, don't forget you were blind. That's how I started the turn. I wasn't listening. I just wanted to remind you of that. Alright, so I already used my good spells. I don't want to do that. Alright, so I'm just going to try

and get you. And for the first time, I'm going to remember that I get sneak attack damage. So, it's going to come up. Oh no. And it's going to get right in your face. I don't like the looks of you! And it claws you!

I don't like the looks of you! I don't like the looks of you! 27 to hit. Oh, that is a hit. All right, so that's going to be 2d6 plus 2 slashing plus 2d6 precision damage. Oh. So back where I come from, that's 4d6 precision damage. So back where I come from,

that's 4d6. 17 plus 2 is 19 points of damage. All right. I can take it. That was its claw. It moved up to you. It clawed, and you know what? It's going to claw again. No. No, it's not. Yes!

Natural 2. Yes! All right. Oh, and, it's not. Yes! Natural two. Yes! All right. Oh, and now it is so dead. Now he's exposed. You're no longer blind, and it's Tiny Murder Clown's turn. Hey, did you roll your quickened? Do I have to roll it?

1d4. 1d4 rounds. Oh, okay. And who was it? Zachary was I think this was from? Zachary, this is for you. Hopefully. Yeah.

It's a one. Thanks, Zachary. Throw the die at me. Way to go, Zachary. What a garbage crew. Thanks a lot. Thanks, bud. Nothing.

So only get one extra action. All right. I run over here. Is there room enough to balance on the end of that for a moment? I think you just fell off the log. I'm not going to do it if I'm going to fall. There's a stem. Look at the stem.

There is a leaf there that is strong enough to hold your weight. I'm only a little wee man. Yay, I'm right up here. Now I have three more actions. Let's start with the Flurry of Blows. Surprise, surprise. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I got a 25 and a 22.

Yes. Yes, exactly. And also a flanking, so ha, ha, ha. Yes. All right. Well, let's do... How wounded is this guy? Not at all, right?

No, no, he hasn't been touched. Call yourself a leader. You must be most delicious of all. 15, 30, 46 points of damage. Oh, my God! Good Lord! That is pretty awesome. Then I'm going to attack him again.

Yeah, quick and... But this is only a Oh I think I missed my one It's a 19 I am flanking But I think that means I missed my one Right? 19 is a miss yes

Well while Actually Yeah it is a miss Just missed it No I just Friggity friggity friggity That's it No I get one more attack actually actually, because of the quickness.

Come on! Sorry! But it's terrible, and I just sort of tickle his chin. Okay. Top of round 12. Aldo's turn. Aldo. All right, so he's going to

take out his rage and he says I don't like this dream this is the worst dream I've ever had and it's a high bar to cross so

I'm cross with you as well I'm going to stop soliloquying right now I'm going to throw soliloquying right now. I'm going to throw another alchemist fire. No, no. Wait, no. I'm going to throw a quick alchemy and do another bottled lightning. That was a journey to get there.

I'm sorry. It's a true journey. Oh, yes. That's a 27 to hit. That is a hit. Oh, that is 11 points of damage. Okay. And it is flat-footed until the beginning of my next turn.

Great. And then with my final action, I'm going to throw another bottle of Moderate Alchemist Fire. It looks like it's on the ropes. Add a penalty. Penalty. Oh, 20. 20 to hit. Did you hear it, Paul?

It's flat-footed. That hits exactly. Yes! That's right. Thank you. Thank you. That's awesome. Okay! That's right. Thank you. Thank you. That's awesome. Okay.

That's great. Oh, okay. So that's 13 more points of fire damage, and it is on fire. No. It's dead. Oh, yes! It's tricky to rock around, to rock around. That's right.

On time, it's tricky. It's tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky. Tricky. The battle ends. You catch your breath. You see your old friend, Verbal Haas, standing there. And Xantar, you assume, is dead. Who cares?

Waiting around. No, My leash! Verbal, how did you find us? The last I saw, you toppled off the side of the boat. Well, it's a long story that involved being dragged along by kelp for many weeks. No sad stories

today, my constitution can't tell. But I have returned and I found you the simplest way of all by going down a set of stairs. That is a happy ending, I approve. How the hell is there a tree in this boat? Why do you keep following us?

You know, every time I turn around, you're here, you terrify us. Because you're my friends. Oh, God. How about a hug for the old clown? You named me. He's crying. It just puts his arms around him.

Thank you, Father. Please, God. Please. Take him away from us. Thank you. Before I met you, I was just Ferbal Hoss. But now I'm the tiny murder clown and I couldn't be happier. Oh, sorry. I got the tiny murder cloud and I couldn't be happier. Oh, sorry.

I got some fairy blood on your arm. It kind of glows. No, no, no. So nice to be back. Everybody, as you're greeting your old friend who pops up every so often during a convention... Whatever, Eddie, come on, he shows up!

Everybody roll a perception check. I'm horribly injured back here. All right, you don't roll one. Could anyone help me, please? Allow me to lay my hands upon you. Oh. Not like that. Thank you, Sir Julie.

I can do two. I press my hands up against your face, around your snout, and I call on the light of Sarenrae, and you heal 36 points. Oh, that was juicy. And then we wait, and I refocus. Okay. Thank you, Sir Julie.

Do you need more? I feel reinvigorated. No, I'm much better now. Tiny Murder Cloud! Yes. I'm glad you're here. Thank you. You look really well healed.

I am, thank you. Was that Sir Julie who did that? Oh, yes. Hey, Sir Julie, do you got anything? She has magnificent hair. Do you got anything for like six weeks of sunburn? Come. Let me lay my hands upon you.

I'm not actually injured at all. She doesn't hear you, she just wants to sprinkle... Touch me, Sir Julie. I've been so alone for so long. And her hand is currently glowing with the light of Sarenrae because she already started the process and she just slaps you across the face. Watch out.

Yes! I love you guys. Anybody want to roll a perception check? Oh, right. I haven't been treated this well since the orderlies. 32. 32. Natural 20 for 31 for Aldo.

23 for Atticus. Not as good as your friends? No. And 17. Also not great. You guys are wrapped up and catching up on old times. Best friends Atticus Grimm

and Frodo Hoss. I'm atrophied. You notice up ahead, just to the north of where Tiny murder clown is standing there's a wide leaf that looks like it's stained at first you think maybe it's just like a discoloration in the leaf but as you look you realize it's stained with dried blood and also it's perforated with thorns that are trailing bits of rope that almost look like it's meant to hold something or someone

in place. Actually, those look like it's meant to hold someone, and the reason you think that is because you see someone tied, bound, gagged, and staked to the leaf. You could have just opened with that.

This is so exciting. I see some thorns. When we see someone bound and gagged, kept prisoner, the first thing we think is, wow, look at those ropes. I like leading with the descriptive and ending with the reveal of this dude. Where is this?

Right there. On the map. Where is this? Right there. On the map. He's dressed like Rey Skywalker. There he is. He has the letters Ro on his chest. Ro! No, Ro! Hello over there.

Ro Skywalker. His name is Ro Copyright. Yes. Don't worry about him. Do you guys see him on the map? He's on the leaf. Scroll up a little bit, Joe. Scroll up, you doofus.

There he is. There he is. He is on the leaf, and obviously he's been watching you distracted by this fight. He sees Tiny Murder Clown there, and he's bound and gagged, but he's just going like this,

like wide-eyed, looking at you. Don't, don't go. No, no, no, no, no, stop him. Somebody stop him. Stop the Murder Clown. No, Tiny Murder Clown, stop. You're a great guy when no, no. Stop him. Somebody stop him. Stop the murder clown. No, tiny murder clown, stop. You'll greet me when you do that. There you are.

It's going down. What is it? Oh, he's bad. He's gagged. Can't speak. Hmm. Do I have anything in my arsenal? No, of course not.

Remove gag. Can't trip. Hello over there. He's gagged. Yes, I know, but he can still communicate non-verbally. Are you shaking your head because you do not want us to rescue you? Are you shaking your head

because you do want us to rescue you? Nod your head. He lost track of the you. Nod your head. He lost track of the question. Nod your head if we should not walk to you. Should we walk to you? Is the leaf trapped? Describe in detail who did this. Tell us where the traps lie.

Speak clearly. What's wrong with you? Is there another way around? Well, I'm sorry. Best of luck. He looks like he's been beaten and he's covered in dry blood. Atticus is going to... He's going to cast fly on himself.

Oh, cool. Okay. Okay. You say, Keep a lookout, said Julie. Watch the skies. And he's going to cast fly and hover over the leaf. Okay.

I saw a bird. Just about a foot over the leaf. Just like hovering, not putting a paw on it. Okay. And moving toward the guy. Okay. Still shaking his head. I can't do it anymore because it's making me dizzy.

Okay. You'll believe a rat can fly. He'll reach out if he can and dislodge the gag. All right, you reach out very tenderly, dislodge the gag. And now I need a voice for this guy. Who are you? Oh! Oh, no.

Oh, I am very hurt. No, no, we took the gag off. Oh! Oh! I've never seen a rat fly before. Oh, my name is Nestor Bindley. What? Say again?

I can't hear you through your Dick Van Dyke accent. We can, listen, we can exchange pleasantries later. Right now I need help getting off this leaf. You said quiet. You said the leaf was trapped. How so? I didn't say the leaf was trapped. The GM did. Those creatures, those flying fairy creatures, they weakened the stem there.

You might be able to roll something to disable the trap. Or if you're strong enough, you don't look it, maybe one of your friends could come and lift me off. But don't step on that leaf anymore. Wait, and we'll all fall to the forest floor. Aldo, do you think you could reinforce the stem somehow? And he affixes his goggles to his eyes. It's just like, oh, I figure I could give it a go. Do you think it would take more than five minutes? I don't know.

Troy, will it take a while? No, you have to. There's certain skills you can use to disable it, but I don't know if you guys are going to have it. Yeah, we're not. You've got to roll to try and figure out what those skills are. All right, what can I roll to try to figure out what the skills are that we'll need to use this thing?

What do you roll to learn about traps? Thievery, right? Thievery? Okay, roll thievery. Does anyone have thievery? Of course! Oh! What do you take me for? Murderous tiny gnome, but surely you have other skills as well.

I have to steal to survive, so I know how to steal, sort of. Would you like to put your life in the hands of a plus three bonus party? Plus three. But can we access what we think is the trap from the tree? Yeah, he told you that it looked like the stem, which is right near where you're standing, Tiny Murder Clown. Let me get to it. I crack my knuckles and kind of with a flourish pull my fingers apart and blood just shoots off of me. And then I'm going to try to disable the trap.

Okay. I don't think you can do it because you need to be a master at thievery. I am, in fact, untrained. I'll just tell you. You can either be a master in thievery, an expert in athletics, or an expert in nature. I'm an expert in athletics, of course. I'm far better at athletics than at thievery. All right, give it a whirl.

Give it an athletics check to try and stabilize the leaf so it won't fall. Okay. I take out my noodley arms. And I stabilize the stem. With your immense athletic prowess. Check it out. I'm making it more stable, you guys. Clearly, he was a varsity athlete.

Yes. Won an Olympic medal for stabilizing leaves. Is it? It's a 27. It's so stable. I hope it's a 27. It's so stable. I hope it's stable enough. That's good enough. Yes.

Stabilize the leaf. And untie this fool. Atticus will untie him and say, And he stands up. It's safe now. You can walk to the branch. You still appear to be laying down. No, I'm standing now

As you can see Imagine this being my upright Walking position Yes, my back is killing me You are quite a dancer Step carefully I'm still trying to keep it stable Alright, I'm going as careful as I can

Thank you for saving me. I'm very hurt. Do you have any whiskey? Whiskey? I've got some homemade Pepsi that's been burning a hole in my water skin. A potion of dragon breath? No, I don't need that. Are you dreamers or hunters?

What brings you to the enchanted wood? We are dream hunters. I like to think of myself more as an entertainer. You are dressed, well, not you, but the rest of you are dressed like people from where I'm from. Where was that? Where are you from? I live in an area known as the Verdurin Forest. And you would know that that's in Galerion.

Oh. Where in Galerion might that be? Where all the trees are. Right. I do. I recognize the name. It's along the Selin River, basically. Ah.

Yes. It's along the Selin River. There's Ah. Yes. It's along the Selin River. There's lots of trees. It's a forest. Yeah. Animals, trees. It's a sacred, special place. Well, it took us some complications.

A ritual to get to this place. How did you get here? Well, I've been traveling the dreamlands in search of someone. A big game hunter named Kelveta Bricks. Have you seen her? No, we have not seen her, but we are also on the trail of some big game, as you say. Tigers, in fact. Tigers, you say? Well, last I heard, she was hunting tigers to the east of here,

and I was hot on her trail before these awful creatures ambushed and captured me. Are you hunting the hunter? On her trail. Just do these accents to try and make Skid laugh. Troy did one the other day and the fucking dread game was like

couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day. I'm still laughing thinking about it. I am an Englishman. What was your question? Are you hunting the hunter? Yes, you could say I am hunting the hunter. What do you plan to do once you find her? I'm going to fuck her up.

Why? That sounds awesome! Where I come from, I am at one with the woodland creatures and the trees and all that shit, and she is known... Very devoted.

Let me tell you about her. She is known as a cruel and capricious hunter all throughout the Vadoran forest. She defiles these creatures and spits on my trees. Who spits on a tree? It's rude. Verbal, put your hand down.

Trees breathe and eat and make love just like you and I. That's why they call it having wood Describe this Tree love making you speak Surely I'm not the only one among us that has made sweet love to an elm. Consensual, mind you. All three of us slowly turn our head to Sir Julie.

And Sir Julie goes... I'll tap that ash. Oh! Oh! That's a hero point. Bottle cap. Ah, well, anyway, she spits on my lovers, bottle cap ah well anyway she spits on my lovers and I

I've been following her for some time following her tracks to confront her and end her tyrannical reign of terror and spitting in my homeland then about six months ago shit

she disappeared entirely. She what? She disappeared entirely. So I asked around and I discovered and I discovered and I discovered that Confederate Sema

found her way here into the dreamland where apparently she picked up right where she left off spitting on

trees killing animals and whatnot trying to find denizens of this beautiful enchanted wood to add to her trophy case. So I followed her here to stop her. Don't quite remember how I got here, because it wasn't written in the adventure path.

But let's just say she's nearby. And if you haven't seen her, and you say that you're looking for tigers as well, then odds are, if they're tigers, you'll find Kelveta. What's her name? Kelveta. One more time, let me read your lips. Kelveta.

Kelveta. Kelveta, Briggs. Can we have some bricks? Thank God you found me. I was going to fall to the forest floor. Those creatures were... I speak fair. And I was listening to them and I heard that they needed five hermeneurs like me

to make a ritual so they could go back home to the first world. No doubt they were going to kill you and sacrifice all of us so they could go home. Sir Julie, who is a paragon of goodness,

is very near to pushing this guy right off the branch. Anyhow. Now they may roast. Now may they roast in the fires of the abyss. Fuck them. If you seek these tigers Perhaps I shall turn you party And I will hunt with you Not the tigers

But the The Calvator Well You say You do not wish for the hunter to hunt beasts in this forest either. What if we, how would you feel if we killed the tigers? As long as you don't engage in animal baiting, painful traps or wanton butchery. No.

I understand that such is the cycle of life. understand that such is the cycle of life. Sometimes you must kill animals, but you must honor them. You don't just go up and kick them and punch them

or defile their corpses. You honor them down to the last piece of meat, down to the last bone, and you never cut down a tree. This guy's a real joy kill. What can we do? You may murder the animals with honor.

Murder them with honor? Could you explain that last part? How do you do that? You say a prayer when you're done. You say a... Wow. You say a prayer when you're done. As for Kelveta, she deserves no quarter.

You may cut off her head, kick her, do all the things that I wouldn't want you to do to the taggers. And then we say brr. What? do all the things that I wouldn't want you to do to the tigers. And then we say brr. What? What's the magic word again? Brr? Cabretta. Are you talking about Caleta Bricks?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we... You're looking at me as if you don't understand what I'm saying. Have you never visited the Videran Forest? We all talk like this. I'm more of a city gnome. Let's make a note.

Never go to the Verdun Forest. It's a beautiful place this time of year. Have you been anywhere beyond this place, this branch? Have you seen any of what's ahead? But I was magically

transported here, I walked around for a little bit, stopped at the gift shop, bought myself a magnet. Then these fairies captured me. Whoa.

It's actually what happened. There were four fairies that captured me. Fair creatures. Thank God you saved me. Oh, yeah, thank God. My name's Nestor Bindley. I don't think I got your names. I'll say them back to you after you introduce yourself.

What is your name, sir? I'm sorry. I wasn't listening to anything. You said, um, Aldo Casimir. Aldo Casimir? What a lovely name. And you? People go, well, father calls me Tiny Murder Cloud.

Tiny Murder Curl. With a K. Tiny Murder Curl, that's what I said. Yeah. What about you, rat person? Atticus Grimm. Gratimus Kim. And you, Sir Knight? I am Sir Julie Andrews

Sir Julie Andrews Well met, friends Let's go explore You sound like the Swedish chef As played by Dick Van Dyke and Mary Poppins I'm standing up. It feels so good not to be bound and gagged. I feel as if I could dance.

Oh, let's do it. Oh. Take my hand. Hold on. This tree is rather sexy. Better yet, don't take my hand. Would you like to travel on and look for these tigers?

Very much so. What did you know? Please, can we move ahead? Yes, I have magic powers. Oh, no! Please, can we move ahead? Yes, I have magic powers. Oh. Yes, I did mean to ask. You came here to kill, to murder, to defile. I would not defile.

How did you intend to do it? I was going to use my magics. And what sort of magics are those? Oh, great. What is your tradition? Great magics. I am a powerful sorcerer. Oh.

Well, then you are most welcome. Of what bloodline? I don't know. I don't know. That is rude to ask a man. Is it? Yes. Where I come from, you never ask someone what their bloodline is. I apologize.

You didn't know. Okay. Are there multiple directions to walk, or is there one path along the branch? We're really rushing through this adventure. I myself am flashing back to the time when the show started. You said we had a lot to get through tonight. I know.

My only note for him here was do something fun. Okay. Done and done. Mission accomplished. So, would you like to lead the way? Yes. Follow me. Is there multiple ways, or is there just one path

ahead that it seems? Don't raise your voice at me, we're just men. If you look, there's lots of different ways to go. But this largest branch there seems like the most likely way to go. For the love of all that is holy, let's go that way. Come on, new friends. And so you travel through the forest. Wow.

And so we travel through the forest. Are we staying on the map, or are we? No, this is all theater of the mind, this next part. No, you're traveling through the forest, and as you get deeper with your new friend Nestor Bindley, eventually the sunlight that had opened up when you went to that area where the canopy had kind of dispersed, it begins to close over you again. You're going east, but you can tell

that you're going higher up the tree as well. And the sunlight above begins to dim as the trees cluster, and there's deep shadows now over the boughs and leaves in this area. You're walking along and you all have this very uneasy

feeling. Ooh, wait. Let me just stop you there and say that, uh, we're in exploration mode. Okay. And I'm going to detect magic in exploration mode. So I'm just constantly detecting magic. Also, which one

of us has the highest perception? I have a 15. I have an 11. I'm also 15 No, 13, sorry Alright, so Aldo is going to prepare an eagle eye elixir

for Sir Julie to imbibe which will give her plus 2 on her perception checks for another hour Oh, nice Also, Aldo I love your voice change Well It is It is the result of three days of drinking and gaming Also, Aldo, I love your voice change.

Well... It is. It is the result of three days of drinking and gaming without sleep. These people know what I'm talking about, am I right? Everybody roll a perception check. 15 for Aldo. 18. 16. That is going to be a 35.

Yes! See? There you go. Okay. going to be a 35. Yes! See? Okay. Once again, Sir Julie is the only one alert, and Nestor

is so focused on caressing each branch as you walk by, that he too doesn't notice things crawling out of the shadows towards you. No, no. Sir Julie, you're just looking up ahead, and you see in this mass of green and black and brown,

streaks start to move, and move quickly, as jumping out from the boughs above and all around you, several tigers start pouncing at your friends. Instead of orange and black stripes, though, they are covered in black and green stripes. There are five of them in total, and one particularly nasty one looks like the leader of the pack

and is going right after you. Tiger, we come in relative peace. We only need two of you. And we promise to eat all of your meat and every bone. We will say a prayer when we slay you and honor you in that way. Let's poach them. Just take their skins and be done with it.

This is a poacher's dream. Roll for initiative. Sheepers, we found them pretty quick. Roll for initiative. This we found them pretty quick Roll for initiative This is pretty huge here What you need is that Pardtail from the Zooks

The Zooks said if you bring them A carcass of one of these Tigers that has been terrorizing the area Up here they will trade that Carcass for a Pardtail and perhaps Will recognize Xantar As their king once more, though Xantar is nowhere to be found. We need two pardtails, remember. Yes, the second one is for Sir Julie to do weird sex stuff with.

So at least two tiger carcasses have to be brought to the zoo. It is Aldo's turn. I mean, Aldo's... God. What's your initiative? 31, so probably it's my turn. Aldo's turn. Atticus. So it is Aldo's turn. 26. 26.

Sir Julie. 27. Okay, and... Tiny Murder Clone. Thank you, Aldo, for the elixir. 26. 26. I go first because of my pilgrim's token? Yep, yep.

Actually, as I said very presciently moments ago, Aldo, it's your turn. All right. Aldo is going, well, first going to do a knowledge check to see, try to identify anything about these creatures and the specifics. Is this another nature? Yeah, nature. Okay. Oh, 29.

29. Okay. They look like tigers. Okay. But they're green. It's all fake. Green tigers, and one of them is very large and green. Okay.

But they're just tigers. They're tigers that are native to this area. They do tiger things like pouncing and biting and clawing and area. They do tiger things. Like pouncing and biting and clawing and wrestling. They do wrestling. Elbow drops and body slams. They do sneak attack damage

when I remember it. But they don't cast any spells. These are vicious creatures. If they lock onto you with their jaws and start... It could get real bad. Okay. So...

Oh, no! These beautiful, majestic creatures. Please be careful, Aldi. All right. So... I don't know. Please be careful, Aldi. All right. So, Aldo is going to do another quick alchemy, and he is going to quickly create a dread ampule. Dread ampule?

Have you done this before? I've never done this before. You son of a bitch. I'm going to shout out, you're about to get a tiger beating! And he's going to toss the Dread Ampule at the largest tiger. Ooh, you can almost call him a Smilodon. You're not going to be smiling for long!

Don! I'm not going to do for you. Don! That is a 33. 33 is a critical hit. Yes. Yes.

Right. Don't burn the hide. We need it. No, this won't. In fact. All right. So do we get a fan critical? No. Was it an ad 20? Oh, no.'t, in fact. All right, so do I get a fan critical? No.

Was it a nat 20? Oh, no, never mind. Yeah. Okay. All right, so, ooh, that is seven points of mental damage. Okay. And it is frightened two. Oh.

La-di-da. Wait, you're doubling. You got to double the damage. I did. Oh, I rolled twice, though. It can't-da. Wait, you gotta double the damage. I did. Oh, I rolled twice, though. Alright. You rolled three and a half points. Oh, six. Six points of damage.

Okay, six points of damage. Great. Frightened 2. You're gripped by fear and struggle to control your nerves. Status penalty equal. Okay. Frightened condition will go down by one. You said Frightened 2? Frightened 2 on a critical hit. Okay. Frightened condition will go down by one. You said frightened two? Frightened two on a critical hit.

Okay. Any more actions? That is it for me. I'm afraid. Okay. And that was at the Smilodon. Now it's the Smilodon's turn. And the Smilodon... Oh, man. Thing's got some cool abilities. I am going to pounce at Sir Julie,

and the Smilodon strides and makes a strike at the end of its movement. Pounce. So, ha-ta! Pounces at you. I'm telling you right now, Sir Julie, I want to kill you. Here it comes.

That is going to be a 31 to hit. That hits. Let me just find my D8s. Never get to use those for damage. Not a big D8 crowd. That's cool. Oh, shit, a 4 and 1. All right, 11 points of slashing damage.

Not great. It's also less great because I have resistance to slashing. All right, now it is going to attempt to bite you with its mouth and put you in its fangs. Cracked eye. Natural one! Yes! Yeah!

Yes! God! Natural one. Yes. Yes. God. The monster, the rumble, the digital tumble, fan fun mode. Brutal. Brutal. What did you get? They all say John in the title. A lot of Johns.

Aaron from Peoria, Illinois. Hi, Aaron. They all say John in the title. A lot of Johns. Aaron from Peoria, Illinois. Hi, Aaron. I'll read it as Nestor Bindley. Dad, I need you. It had all those extra vowels. Dad, I need you. You brace yourself, plant your feet, and prepare to land a crushing blow, and out of nowhere you hear a blood-curdling cry

of desperation. Your attack misses, and you are flat-footed until your next turn as you decide whether or not you pretend not to hear it. Wow. Oh, oh, I think it's like a kid being like, Dad! Yeah, Joe. I need you in the background. Clearly written by a parent.

Yes. Oh, I haven't revealed the map to you guys. You just want to sit in there. Yeah, exactly. You said we weren't using the map. No, I haven't. I was lying. He was lying, and I kept looking at you like, am I crazy?

Like, nobody wants to use a map. Yes. I was making a very funny joke. Yeah, no, look. Oh, now. Wow, look at that. Action. Look at this.

Deeper. Deeper. God, I hate this. I put an R and an O on my chest. All right, now it is Sir Julie's turn. That sucks. All right, so that thing's flat-footed. Minus two to its AC.

That's great. Sir Julie's going to take at least a couple attacks on this guy. First attack with the great sword. Natural two. 18. That's green. Second attack. Natural 20.

Yeah! Critical threat, critical threat, critical, critical, critical threat. Yeah! Critical crit. Critical crit. Critical crit. Critical crit. Critical crit. So many crits. A lot of crits. That app's getting some use.

It really is. Once again, a big thanks to our friends at Gearbox who made our new website that we launched this week. Really, really phenomenal. It's like a huge quality of life improvement. It's fantastic. Remember our original really shitty website that I made? Yeah. The second one was

better, but that one sucked too. This one's great. Lots of vowels in these. Andrew Waba from Columbus, Ohio. Columbus! Rage! Hi, Andrew. You strike with such ferocity you temporarily awaken a primal rage

from deep within your soul. Deal double damage as you enter into a rage as the barbarian class feature except you can still use concentrate actions that don't have the rage trait. There's no end of this. Or is rage just per round?

I don't know how it works in 2. Do you have to use rage every round? Or once you rage you just rage just per round? I don't know how it works in 2D. Do you have to use rage every round? Or once you rage, you just rage until you stop? You rage first. So that's going to be 2 additional damage on melee strikes, minus 1 penalty to AC, and we don't worry about the cops.

Okay, so another 2 damage. It's 1 minute. So double damage. Boom! Boom, Matthew double damage. Double damage. Boom, Matthew. It's highly unnecessary. Okay. Be careful with your sword.

That's the other voice now. That's the one you were using yesterday. I strike with Anna. 32 points of damage. Whoa. Yikes. Taking points of damage. Whoa. Yikes. Taking down the mama. All right.

And then I'm going to take... Why not? Let's go for a third attack. Why not? The book suggests not to. Natural two. Oh. You get everything you deserve. It is Atticus's turn.

That's you, Joe. Yes. Atticus's turn. That's you, Joe. Atticus Grimm. Atticus Grimm. Yes. Soon it would be my turn. This map just freaks me out. Every single one of these leaves, giant tigers are standing on, and it doesn't matter at all, right?

They don't bend or move at all. They didn't bend when your fat ass got on one of them. Oh, no. Never did. Never did. That's why. That's why I was confused. These are tough leaves.

The only ones that bend are the ones that are trapped, like the one poor nasty big lizard. Okay. Atticus is going to... He's going to move. He's going to step away from the Mama Tiger. Because he's up in melee with the Mama. The Tiger says, Call it!

Very scary. Whoa! Wait, is that in common? Yeah, kill them! Sure. And he's going to fire a Ray of Enfeeblement at the Mama. And here we go. A little touch.

Come on. Come on! 22 to hit. 22 to hit. Misses by one. Oh! Are you including flat-footed? Why is it flat-footed? From the grip. Yeah, that's a hit. That's a hit. Misses by one. Are you including flat footed? Why is it flat footed?

From the grip. That's a hit. Oh, from the fumble. Alright, great. That's huge. So it is enfeebled one. Oh, I'm sorry. You get a saving throw. I do.

Fortitude. It's got decent fort, but I haven't been rolling well. Let's do a little neon green here. Decent fort. Okay, that is going to be a 27. Yeah, so you are enfeebled one. Okay. And I will get you that in turn.

Okay. All right. Strength. Any actions left? Oh, you moved, and then that was a two-action spell? Correct. It is tiny murderown's turn. Lot of tigers.

And you've been instructed to fight with honor. What do you do? For the first time, I have no idea. Fighting with honor, what's that? Okay, I'm going to trigger a bunch of attacks of opportunity if this thing has it to reposition myself to gear. If they have it, yes. It might have it, yeah. That's why I took a step back.

I was a little nervous. I'm no coward. Oh, I didn't mean that for you, Ratty. What are you thinking? I'm thinking I'm trying to set up a flank that actually isn't going to work. So I just move over there to attack it. Okay. And you slide around and you get to the other side of the Smilodon.

Right. It works, doesn't it? The flank? I think Sir Julia would need to be one square to the south to set up. What? Thank you. It doesn't work. It'd have to be center. What? Thank you. It doesn't work! It'd have to be there. Right, right. But maybe next

time, surgery. So, okay, so I move over there, and then I'm going to flurry of blows again. Okay. Ooh, that's pretty good. I got a... Come on, character sheet, don't fail me now. 31, uh, 32.'t fail me now. 32.

32 is a hit. Yes. And then my second one is a 27. Another hit. Yes. How long does it remain flat-footed there, whatever your name is? One, until the start of your next turn. Okay.

You need to make one of those DC 23 will saves. Oh, God. I made it with a 26. Okay, sounds good. And then just before I do my damage, I'm going to try to attack one more time. It's probably not going to work. Okay. No, terrible.

So forget that. Two big hits, though, with your flurry of blows. Guys, we're all focusing on this. 34 points of damage. Okay. Okay. Oh, it's good to on this. 34 points of damage. Okay. Okay. Oh, it's good to be back. All right.

Tiny Murder Clown steps up and messes up the mama as well. But now it's time for the other tigers to get fucked. No. No. And the first one. This is a very strange and awful situation. Yeah. The first one is going to pounce. Try to grab Aldo in its jaws.

No! First it's going to pounce with a claw, and then I will try to bite and swing you right off this tree. Here we go. Oh, God. These garbage rolls. 18? No, that's a fumble. Shitstick.

All right. Here we go. This is going to be with the jaws here. 25? Yes, that is a hit. Let's go. Now some fun is going to happen. Let me get my D10 out for some damage.

That's going to be 11 points of piercing damage. And then when it's final action, it grabs you in its jaws. No. No. Bad things are going to happen next round. In the meantime,

it's nest-a-bit last turn. Oh, beautiful creatures of the forest. I honor you in what I'm about to do. And for his first action, he closes his eyes. And as he closes his eyes, he goes to a place where he sees himself walking with all of you somewhere. And he reaches out and he touches Sir Julie in this dream. And Sir Julie, you now have the effects of True Strike on you.

Ooh. Whoa. Cool. So one action ability called I Dreamt of This. Nestor recalls a prophetic dream and grants himself or an ally within 30 feet the effects of True Strike. That's so cool. That will last until the end of Nestor's next turn. It's really freaking me out hearing you say Nestor

in this context. This could be the end. Okay, and then for his final two actions, I think what I want to do, let me just see if this is ranged. I want him to cast Heroism on Aldo. Yeah, he's going to use his final two actions to cast Heroism on Aldo. That'll give you a plus one bonus to attack rolls, perception checks, saves, and skills.

Awesome. This is for you! Oh, well, thank you. And he touches you just above, like, your hip bone. Right. That is a very fine place to be touched. Yes. Like if your aunt ever touched you there, you'd be like, all right.

All right. Why did you touch me on that part of my hip? There's certain limits. And now the tigers are going to come. The other one pounces after Sir Julie. And tries to take a claw out of Sir Julie with another

natural one. Oh my goodness. You are ice cold. I was red hot on Thursday. Ice cold time. And the fun go. I was red hot on Thursday. Ice cold time. Okay, this is Ryan C. from Cleveland, Ohio. Hi, Ryan.

Hi, Ryan. Hi, Ryan. Skid Bane. Oh, no. What is this going to be? Wait. You were attacking Sir Julian Rold the Fumble, right? Yeah. You're not sure if it's because you slept wrong or you're just getting old,

but you tweaked something as you attacked your foe, and now everything hurts. That's cold. It's too close to home. I'm disallowing this fumble. It's cruel, but fair. Roll a Fortitude save. Roll a Fortitude save?

Okay. Yeah, and it says the DC is per the DC on the level chart for the GM screen. So that is a critical success unaffected. You're good. Great. Now I'm going to bite you. Here we go. Okay, 21.

Miss. Miss. Yeah. Okay, then with its last action, it slits its throat with a penknife. It moved to me with its first action. No, that was a pounce. Oh, pounce. I'll have you know that was one action that allowed me to move and strike at the end of my movement.

So it still has one more action. Very low chance to hit, and he misses. They're trying to grab you in their jaws. I just want to give Ryan from Cleveland his just explanation for why it's Skid's Bane. Skid, this fumble, if you fail, you are immobilized for 1D4 rounds. If you critically fail, you are paralyzed for 1D4 rounds, which is why it was Skid's Bane. Oh, I see. Okay.

All right. Skid's Paralyzed. Thanks. Thanks, Ryan. The one on this leaf comes after Atticus with a pounce. Alright, come on. Here we go.

Pounce, pounce, natural 20. There it is. Oh, no. Not a named tiger. Critical threat, critical threat, a named tiger. Critical threat. Critical threat. Critical. Critical. Critical threat. There should be a decent amount of damage here. We'll see.

24 points of slashing damage. Actually, this could get real ugly real fast because of your AC. Its second action is going to be a jaw attack. And that is going to be a miss with a 12. I'm going to try it again because I really want to hit you with these jaws.

I still think that's shit. 21. Miss. Yes. Awesome. Alright, so he's free. 24 points of damage. I'm rolling terribly. The last one pounces at you, Tiny Murder Clown. It doesn't have to. It wants to.

I'm assuming misses with a 21? Miss. Okay. And then I'll try the jaws. Come on. Can I hit something? Nope! And then it takes out a cigarette and smokes it. Let me know when it's round three. Is that one of those jazz cigarettes?

One of those jazz cigarettes? All right, so now it is round two, and it is back to Aldo's turn. You guys came out relatively unscathed from this. So I'm still in this thing's mouth, right? You are grabbed by this creature. So if you put the grab condition on, you're still able to do things, or you're going to spend an action to try and escape. I am not going to try to escape, because I don't favor my chances

to do so. So I am instead, as he's being ripped around, as he's being whipped around in this thing's mouth, he's going to pull from his bendelia another pair of ingredients. And he's going to mix up quickly another dread ampule,

and he's going to smash it against this thing's face. Oh, yes! Okay, that is a 30 to hit. Okay, and I just have to... Joe just sent me a text to ask you this. While you're grabbed, you're also immobilized. Did any of those actions use the move trait? I don't know.

No, they don't indeed. Then you're all right. All right. Joe, I'll text you back. The answer was no. I never texted that. Yes, so that is a 30 to hit. 30 to hit, yep.

Okay. Which one are you going after? The one right next to you, right? The one that's biting me currently, that has me in its mouth. That's the one that seems most pertinent. Look at that beautiful, majestic beast. Okay, so that is another, that is five points of mental damage. Okay.

And it is frightened one. Okay, okay. Frightened one, five points of mental damage. Any actions left? I do have one left, so again, I'm going to pull another, oh wait. Okay, actually

I will spend an action now to try to get out. Okay, that is going to spend an action now to try to get out. Okay, that is going to be in the escape action. Okay. Let's just look at escape. Okay. You attempt to escape from being grabbed to minimize restraint. Choose one of the... You need to roll a thievery check against the athletics DC of the creature grabbing you.

A thievery check? That's what it says creature grabbing you. A thievery check? That's what it says. That's not right, right? Alright, I try to steal myself away. Oh no, I'm sorry. I read this wrong. Acrobatics or athletics. Oh, okay. Or your attack modifier, but I think one of those is going to be... I will try

acrobatics. Exactly. John 3-6-2. All right. There's a 23 acrobatics. 23, what is this? Oh no, 24.

24? Yep. That's enough to get out. He slithers his way nimbly out of the thing's jaws. Okay, man. You just got out of there. I wish that was the Smilodon. All right, so you're not grabbed,

and I don't want to play anymore. It is the Smilodon's turn, and he's mad, and he is going to try and do something against Sir Julie. This one's going to be fun here. Oh, come on. So much fun could happen. Come on, Neon Green, you son of a bitch.

All right, here we go. Fang attack. Okay. Here we go. 31. Yes. Yes. Go!

All right. 31 to hit. Hit you with the fangs. That is going to be. Oh, baby. I! All right. Come on. 31 to hit. Hit you with the fangs. That is going to be... Oh, baby, I'm so amped right now. I'm so juiced. So juiced right now. 17 points of fang damage.

That's piercing. Then it uses its second action to grab, and then with its final action, it's going to do something called Pierce Armor. Oh, this is why you were asking what our armor artist was. Okay. All right, the Smilodon makes a fang strike against a creature it's grabbing. And there's no save for grab.

Nothing. No. Pathfinder 2E, maybe you should read the book once in a while. Too busy reading. Hustler! Does Hustler even exist anymore? I don't know. I saw it hanging out of your bag.

You had a 70s Hustlers. It's weird. Just the thought of Matthew, of all people, having a 70s hustler in his bag. Vintage, vintage. All right. Here we go. Okay. Oh, God, I'm going to miss.

22. To hit? Yeah. To Julie. She is good at what she does. He has gone from a smilodon to a frownadon. About 17 people said it with you

at the exact same moment. Sharp crowd. Sharp crowd. Gotta be sharp to get in the niche. Is that Ray Romano out there? All right, it's your turn, Sir Julie. Sir Julie will step to her right to flank

with Tiny Murder Cloud. No, no, no. Not there. No, you're left. That's not a brand new flank. Sir Julie, no. No, stop. Take one step to the suit. Take one step to the suit. Come on. To the sea.

Look at this guy. What part of shit don't you understand? 26 to hit. No, you get 26. 26 to hit. My poor Smilodon is a hit. Nice. Palpable hit.

This is going to be tough. Remember to add that damage. Rage damage. Rage DiMaggio. 21 points of damage. Rage damage. Rage Damagio. 21 points of damage. Good. No. Oh, yeah.

Oh, sorry. I can roll. That's supposed to be I roll twice and take the better. Did you look up Pathfinder 2E two strikes? Roll two strikes twice and take the better. All right. So see if you get a 20. I rolled the exact same number.

Oh, no. No. I dreamt of this. Am I under the effects of that for the next? the exact same number. Oh, no. No. I dreamt of this. Am I... Is that... Am I under the effects of that for the next... Thanks.

That was just my next attack, right? Not all my attacks? I don't know what's going on. What? I wasn't talking to you. Skate, is that just my next attack, not all my attacks? What?

We played a lot of games this weekend. That was just my next attack and not all of my attacks? What? What are you talking about? It's going to move on. True strike. It said you get the benefits of true strike until the end of Nestor's turn. Oh. Okay, good.

So I roll twice once more for the second attack. I roll a natural one and a natural three. Oh. Okay. What was the three? Fourteen. Fourteen? Yeah.

Against the Smilodon? You're all right. Okay. Are we pulling fumbles on not natural ones on attacks? Okay. That's it. That was just a miss, not natural ones on attacks? Okay. That's it. That was just a miss, not a fumble. Strike, strike, strike.

Strike, strike, strike, strike, strike, strike, strike. That was Sir Julie's turn. Now it is Atticus's turn. Atticus is going to, in his very ratty way, going to slip through Aldo and past, what's his name, who I could never understand what he said. You're standing on my space. You're smothering me with your fur.

He's going to move away and get out of the heat of these tigers. Do they have a tax opportunity? They do not. Then he will slip away onto a leaf off the main branch, position himself appropriately, and then up to the northeast there is a tiger. Beyond him, another tiger. He will cast Lightning Bolt. Oh, beautiful. King!

That is not under a bed. Nice work, Skid. I'm sure these tigers have terrible reflexes. North, make it go a little further. That's me. I was experimenting to see if there's a better square. All right, so reflex save. The first tiger rolls a nat 20.

And the second tiger rolls a 21 total. Well, that's a fail. Okay. Yes. That's great. First tiger takes no damage? First tiger takes no effing damage. Brutal. Brutal. What about the second tiger? What about the second one? Uh,

give me 15 minutes to... Oh my God. 16 points of damage. Oh. On 4D12. Oh, my God. You've been... Well, if you think about it this way, Joe,

if you had to roll 4D4, that would have been max damage. Yep. That's a glass half full approach. Atticus is having a shitty die day. 12! God damn it. But that one doesn't count, right?

Exactly. Nice work. Any other action? No, it wouldn't have mattered. No, that was two action casting. We're good. Okay, now it is Tiny Murder Clown's toying. Get out of here. No, it wouldn't have mattered. No, that was two action casting. We're good. Okay. Now it is Tiny Murder Clown's toying. How wounded does the Smilodon look?

How wounded? He looks in pretty bad shape. Oh, let's keep it going. Kill him. Oh, by the way, in the spirit of Gen Con, I just wanted to shout out a booth that's across from us. I don't even know the name, but it's right across the camera. It's Hero Pins or something like that.

And this guy has this concept that I think is awesome. It's a little thing that you can pin. Vicky, you'd love this. To your, like, lanyard or whatever. And it's a damage meter that is just green for, like, full, yellow if you're hurt, red if you're almost dead, and then dead. So like around a table of like strangers or whatever. You can know the character's

like current situation. Oh, that's cool. On top of it. That's awesome. That's a really cool, simple thing. And they're heavy and metal. They're cool. They're cool. Yeah, yeah. So come by our booth. They're right across. They gave us a few. We're making friends. Yeah. TMC?

I don't want to be friends with Ismailadon. Flurry of blows. Flurry away. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The first attack is at 34. Oh, my God. But it's flat-footed, so keep that in mind. That matters.

Critical hit. Tiny is so murderous! Critical! Critical! Critical! The second attack of the flurry misses, but I'm afraid to tell you you need to make another one of those DC 23 Stunning Fists saves. I think I won't have to, because it is dead.

Yes! All right! I know what your damage is. It only had 16 hit points left. Well, yeah, it's dead. I don't even have to roll. It's officially dead. Boom.

Oh, no! I would pray for you. I still have two actions left. So Tiny Murder Clown's just going to lick the blood on his hands. Dear Jesus. Watch over this target. I have defiled it. Sweet Jesus.

Do you have any actions? No, my last two actions were licking my left hand. That's right. Nestor is just praying. Alright, it is... Man, there's still four tigers left. The one next to Aldo is going to go right after you with a fang attack again. This is

going to be a... Maybe for the tenth time this show, another natural one. Yes! All neon green, by the way. The monster's over. Oh! They make real tough bull fans. Oh!

Getting a workout for these Christians. I mean, we are working through them. We're going to need some people to upgrade their Patriots. Seriously, we are moving through states like hotcakes. Why don't you do one nowhere near here? Do one like the other side of the world. Yeah. How about one in Australia?

Melbourne. Melbourne. I'm doing an Australian accent for Nestor. All right, a fumble from Melbourne, Australia. Yes. All right, we got Paul from Dunedin, Otago, New Zealand. Oh. Hi, Paul.

Hey, Paul. Are you here? Paul, you didn't make the trip. Paul here? Paul. Paul, see you in a few months when I come down there. You're going to Australia? Yep.

I didn't know you were going to Australia. Well, New Zealand. The title is Baby, Let Me Hold You. You get distracted in the midst of the fight By a string hanging off of one of your ally's clothes What's more You make to pick at the distracting thing Drawing the attention of your ally

Both you and your ally become stunned too Your ally gets a will save To negate the effect and rebuff your advances No such luck for you. Very strange. But it is... Yeah, very strange. Really doesn't work with tigers.

Huh? Yeah, the string. Fur, okay. So you start pawing at your ally. I mean, the string works even better. They're cats. Yeah, exactly, yeah. All of a sudden, the magical ball of string.

Maybe Nestor is like, Hey, kitty, kitty. Here's a ball of yarn for my mother. And he just throws a ball of yarn on. And both of these, I just failed the will save. They're both stunned, too. Yes. So its first action was to bite Nestor.

I then lose my last two actions, right? I believe so, yeah. I'll double check. Then it moves to Nestor's turn, and the other one will only have one action. Nestor be dead! It's his turn, and he is going to do I dreamt of this again.

Sir Julie is immune to that for a day, so he's going to do I dreamt of this and give true strike to Skid. What the fuck's your character's name? Aldo. Gives you true strike. Yeah! He lets you have that and then he is

going to cast another spell. This sounds fun. Wanderer's Guide. What does that one do? Have you heard of Wanderer's Guide? No. It's probably a non-combat spell. Yeah, it sounds lame. It sounds like it.

All right, I'll do Heroism on you then. I'll give you a plus one. Oh. To all your Johns. Okay. A little more Heroism. This is for you. Thank you.

Next time. And now it is the rest of the Tigers' turns. So the one that is down to the south of Aldo and Sir Julie will pounce towards Sir Julie, and this will be its only action this round because it is stunned. That is going to be a 28 to hit. That's my AC exact.

Actually, no, because I'm raging, you beat it. Eight points of damage, minimum damage. Piercing, slashing? Slashing was his claw. Five points of damage. Smilodon's dead. The one near tiny murder clown is going to try and take a bite out of you. Misses with an 18.

I am officially putting neon green away for the day. Oh, no. Somebody gave me this die, and I wasn't going to bring it, and then I dropped it on the floor as I was putting it away, and it was a natural 20, so I said, you're coming with me, baby. Oh, no. And it's right for this moment. Right now. 24 to hit. That's exactly what you needed.

Oh. A couple Johns are gonna jump. No, don't jump. 11 points of piercing damage. Second action, grab. Third action, wrestle. Okay, cool

I make a claw strike against you And if I hit, you're prone So it just tries to lift you up Give you a DDT like Jake the Snake Robert And his name is John C Wait for it, everybody Here it comes. And with my brand new die, I rolled a natural 20.

No! No! Natural 20. You are so prone. Yeah, the whole thing with this is that you become prone, so you're like super prone. You've never been so prone. In fact, it wrestles you

so hard you almost want to just fall asleep and wake up back on the boat. How's a 7th level monk ever going to get up from prone? Don't milk me! The other one pounces on Sir Julie to end the round here. You nervous about this die?

I would be, Matthew. That is going to be a 25 to hit with the jaws. Miss. Thought so. Second attack. Another miss. Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss. All my characters suck.

Third round. Aldo's turn. The Smilodon is gone, but the tigers remain. All right. Aldo. Oh, great. Okay. So he is going to throw an alchemist fire at the one directly to his north.

He's going to throw a bomb of fire right to his north. Okay. That is a 28 to hit. 28 is a hit. Right. All right. Oh, yes. That is 15 points of fire damage.

Okay. He's on fire, and the other catty-corner cat takes two points of splash damage as well. Splishity splash. Okay, but not your allies? None of my damage as well. Splishity splash. Okay, but not your allies? None of my allies, no. Okay. Second attack is going to do the same thing. And that's going to be a miss, I believe.

Two strike. Oh, we all have it. Okay. Two strike. Oh, okay. That is a 27 to hit. That is a hit. Right.

I dreamt it. That's 13 more points of fire damage, two more points of splash damage to the southern eastern one. Okay. Good round so far. All right. And you got true strike, so you might as well attack three times. Yeah.

Actually, yeah, I will. I will attack a third time. That is a natural 19 on the second eye of the third attack with the third vial of alchemist fire. That is 15 more points of fire damage and two more points of splash to the southern one. Wow, okay, hell of a round. Good round for Aldo.

Smilodon's dead. It goes back to Sir Julie. Sir Julie, you need a real heroic round here. All right. Sir Julie is going to go after the Smilodon to her east. I no longer have true strike, but I still am raging. A strange, magical rage is flowing through her, enhancing her strength. Be careful.

First attack is going to be a 25 to hit. Hit. That's going to be 17 points of damage. 17 points of damage. Excellent. Second attack is going to... I used to have a lot of hit points. Right?

Yeah. Am I crazy? What? You used to have a lot of hit points. No, the mama did. These guys don't. Oh. Second attack is just a 20 to hit points. No, the mama did. These guys don't. Oh. Second attack is just a 20 to hit.

20 is a miss. Okay. And let's go for a third attack. Why not? Nope. 14. We needed a heroic round out of you, and we didn't get it. If only you would cast heroism on me.

If only I did. Atticus will waste it. It is Atticus's turn. Yes, I will. Rather pointless, don't you think? He is going to take a step closer to the main branch. The one to the north that Sir Julian Aldo are fighting. He will draw another branch of this tree with a loose branch

with telekinetic projectile. He'll draw it off and drive it at the creature and attack the one right north of Sir Julie, natural one. Oh no, come on! The monsters will rumble, the day they will tumble,

fan and follow! You're being prompted by the fans that are smarter than you to use your hero points. I forget. I always forget. All right. Hero point. That is a 26 to hit. Yes.

With heroism? That's a hit either way. Okay. I've got such garbage rolls all day. 13 points. Luckily, Aldo softened it up It's dead Awesome Three tigers left

Fucking trash That's bad Let's go to Vegas Is that your round? That is my round Tiny murder clown you're prone What can you do? I look up at the tiger, and I wink at him.

And I go, you're going to love this. And then as a free action, I use the kip up ability to stand up. Oh, yes. Amazing. Shades of Shawn Michaels. Then I take both. It's almost like fluid action, as if it's the same action even though it's not. I take both of my bloody fists and I flurry of blows right under its chin.

Awesome. Using it as a heavy bag. I got a... I missed on the first one. Second thing is probably a hit. 29. 29 is a hit. All right. So you need to make a DC 23 stunning. 29 is a hit. Alright, so you need to make a DC 23

Stunning Fist. We'll save. Four for a miss. Yes. Failed save. Well, for starters, you're going to take 21 points of damage from that hit. Yikes.

Monk is pretty good. I'll use my second action to attack again. That time I got a 24. That's a hit. Nice. This might be it. 21 points of damage. And that's it.

Yes. Yes. Woo. And that's it. Yes! Woo! You punched it in its udders. These tigers have udders.

It's tiger... Tiger milk. Tiger Chew is still around. Now, is he still stunned, this guy? No. He's back to business, right? I don't remember. He was stunned 2. Does stunned go down 1 each?

Okay. All right, so now it's stunned 1? No. You lost both your actions. It's gone. Okay. I asked the question. I didn't listen to the answer.

Oh, okay, great. All right, it's going to try and bite Aldo. I think it misses with an 18. That is a miss. Okay, I'll try one more bite for Shits and Gigs, and misses again. Yes. It's ice-cured, and it is next to be blistered. You guys are doing so well.

I think I'll close my eyes and have an energy. And this time he dreams. He dreamed of Sir Julian. He dreamed of Aldo. So he will now dream of you, tiny murder clown, giving you the effects of True Strike, which is even better for you. Oh, God, I love that so much. That's great.

And then he will give heroism to Sir Julie. That lasts to the end of his turn, so all of your rolls next round. Good luck, legend. And now it is the remaining tiger's turn.

And he's going to try and bite Sir Julie. Here we go. Natty 19. 32 to hit. Yes. That is going to be 15 points of damage. Second action, grab. Piercing damage.

Piercing damage. Third action, grab. Piercing damage? Piercing damage. Third action, wrestle. It is going to try and bring it out of the ground with an arm bar. And it misses with a natural one. Yes. Another natural one.

Alright, so that's his turn, but you are grabbed, Sir Julie, so please stay honest. It is Aldo's turn at the top of round four. I have a feeling it's going to be the last round of the night. All right, Aldo is feeling lucky now. He's feeling energized. He's going to take a step back, and he's going to throw a pair of bombs. He's going to throw more alchemist fire at the southernmost tiger.

Okay. He's going to throw more alchemist fire at the southernmost tiger. Okay. First attack is going to be a 26 to hit. Yep. Okay. That's 15 points of fire damage. It is on fire.

Okay. 15 points of fire and it's on fire. It's on fire. And second attack of the penalty. Oh, that's 25 to hit. 25 to hit? Yep. Great. And that is 14 more points of fire. Okay.

Great round. Great round. Yeah, you have really bounced back, Skid. Really bounced back. Real bounce back. It's Sir Julie's turn. Okay, who's the tiger to the east is the one that's

grabbing me? Okay, I'll go after it. It's a judgment call, but yeah, he's grabbing me. Okay, that is gonna be a 28 to hit. 28 is a massive hit. But a critical?

Not that massive. Not that massive. Okay, that's going to be 20 points of damage. Yikes. Nice. Second attack. Okay, that's going to be a 28 to hit. 28 to hit is a hit.

Oh, okay. That's going to be 23 points of damage. It's dead. Yes! Burning through him now. Burning through him now. And as it dies, Nestor is like, Sir J.L.A., please, please, friends, new friends,

stay your hands, put down your weapons. You got what you came for. You needed two carcasses. Let the other tiger run free. I will speak to it in its language and let it know that we mean it no harm.

It's lost its brothers and sisters and mother. Just let it go. What? Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't understand what you just said. Please let this beautiful tiger go. We've proved our point.

You have the pearls you need. Let this one go. Tiger, run free. You don't speak, tiger. Well, translate for, then, man. All right, say something and I'll translate it. Tiger, run free. You are free.

Who's the last part? Run free? Run free. And he goes on. That was the whole part. And the tiger leaves. This is why tigers... This is why tigers never get anything done. They take forever to say anything. Nestor says, That was honorable of you to let that egg again.

But listen, this is a bad sign. If these tigers lived, that means Kelvator has not been in this area. Though the five of us struggled mightily, she would have made short work

of them with her abominable tactics. I must press on through the forest to make sure, but perhaps we will meet again back in our home worlds. And with utmost respect I say I hope not.

Thank you for saving me. And remember, animals and trees are people too. And he leaves. You go back to the zoogs and they're looking around for Xantar. They don't see him, but they're like, ah, wonderful, a mothered tiger and her children.

They will make a healthy feast for us. Wonderful, a whole murdered family. Yes, ah, you can see the tears in the children's eyes. Clearly, the mother died first, and they fought. Oh, my God. That makes the meat all the more sweet. That's called a... Yes. Oh, my God. That makes the meat all the more sweet. That's called... That's marination.

Yes, when children watch their parents die, and then they die shortly afterwards, it is much more gamey. Anyway, here's your tail, and... Paul, two tails. All right, you tried to slip one past me. Here's another tale for you. Be careful with that.

Don't use it all in one night. And also, because I like you... Take this magical drinking horn you can look up later in Nashville. It makes a lot of wine upon command. You may need that to find someone to use that tear with I need no such assistance Often we zoogs will stay up all night And get chocolate wasted on the sweet vintages

From that fucking thing Here's your tale Good journey on the sweet vintages from that fucking thing. Here's your tale. Good journey. Tales. Tales. I almost tried to keep it. Here you are.

Good journey. And we will see you in Nashville. Oh, man. Long one, isn't it? Long one. Indy. Long one. Gen Con. Gen Con. Thank you, Indy.

Gen Con. Thanks for listening to the glass cannon network for more podcasts and live streams visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else subscribe today at patreon.com slash glass cannon Let's get in.