The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 47 – This Gug's for You

Episode Date: September 13, 2022

Strange Aeons returns to the Masquerade in Atlanta for the fourth time with another wild night of dice rolling nerdage! Sydney Amanuel and Jared Logan join three fifths of the OGs once again as the heroes' exploration of a necropolis in the Dreamlands come to an ending you'll have to see to believe! Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa and Sydney Amanuel as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/CwTRGZifstk Recap 14:47 Gameplay 23:32 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Only at Subway Price and participation may vary Extras, taxes and delivery additional Expires April 8th You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network The premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Oh, come on in, Laura! Come on in! How are we good people of Atlanta? Actually, how many people here tonight are actually from Atlanta?

All right, how many people are here just for DragonCon? And how many people are here just for us? You're fucking lying. That math doesn't add up. I saw some dude here. I said, who's from Atlanta? Raised his hand. And I said, who's from Atlanta? Raised his hand. And I said, who's here only to see us?

Also, sir, you might be a nice man, but you're fucking lying. One or the other. Oh, baby, this is our third show in three days. We did a show Thursday night in Nashville, and then yesterday we drove two hours to Chattanooga, followed by eight hours of Chattanooga to Atlanta, when we were 45 minutes late for our Dragon Con show, which was a great time for those 5,000 people that showed up.

Can you believe we had five grand in that audience yesterday? They stuck around. They stuck around for the whole four-hour show. And we're back here at the Masquerade. This is our fourth time since 2019 here at the Masquerade. Shout out to the Masquerade. And just because we like you, as you you can see we've gotten both funnier and more attractive who's who and we added sydney oh no no and so it begins

it's gonna be that kind of night, Sid. Buckle up! Speaking of which, allow me to introduce you to two of the founding members of the Glass Cannon Network and two contractors who will probably make more than those founders combined because of all the shows that we put them on. We've got to get out of these contractor deals. It's really hard hurting the bottom line. Love the way you guys run a company. We have health insurance now.

First, he is the game master of a little show called Haunted City. Have you heard of that? Also the game master of the hottest show of the summer, the Game Garage. Woo! And now, like Matthew, he makes us feel bad because he doesn't drink and eats impossible

meat sandwiches everywhere we go. Give it up for Jared Logan! Yes! Ah! I came here to kick ass and drink ginger ale and I'm all out of kicking ass. And I'm here only for

the money, LaVallee. You better make sure I have that check when I walk off stage. Yes, Mr. Logan. All $35 of it. We had to take out some expenses. Yes. That ginger ale budget.

Look at this. This is so ridiculous. I have just two giant cups of ginger ale. People are going to be like, is he a 71-year-old woman? What is he doing?

We should have just put plastic on your side of the table. Yeah, I mean, really, Sid needs a barrier here. I don't need to look at this. Yeah. Oh, you want a full curtain. Oh, yeah. Yeah, okay. Opaque.

Well, I have a slight cold. You're a big Atlanta guy. You love Atlanta, you said. I love Atlanta. Yes, I love Atlanta. I do. What are your favorite things about this humble city? Game three.

Great town to perform in. Yeah, back when I was an exotic dancer, I performed here often. Remind me, what was your stage name again? Sour Cream. Remind me, what was your stage name again? My sour cream. Coming up to the stage, give it up for sour cream. Sour cream. Yep. Well, I'm glad you're here.

You're always a delight to have. Happy to be here. Very happy to be here. Jared Logan. Next up is the only member of the team who was chosen to join the tour by picking a name out of a hat. Wow.

I thought you were going to say the only woman. And I was like, that's true. That's just true. Give it up for Sidney Emanuel! Thank you. Sidney, what was it like being the lead singer of No Doubt in the 90s? I have to know.

Don't speak. You know what? I'll take it. It's a Gwen Stefani look. It's a very no doubt look. I would have hoped you said Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill. I feel like that's a little more my vibe.

Despite your illicit affair with Dave Coulier, I didn't mention it. I am thrilled to be here. I've been to Atlanta a few times. I do like Atlanta. I find, whoo, I find it is impossible to walk anywhere in Atlanta, which I'm not used to coming from New York.

And we had a moment, we tried to walk somewhere from our hotel, big mistake. And we had a moment, we tried to walk somewhere from our hotel, big mistake. And Troy insisted that we could do it. Meanwhile, we are crossing an active highway. And he's like, it,

it just says that we just go straight and we're looking at like force. And I was like, there's no Troy. It's Atlanta. You simply can't do this. And when we ended up in some sort of aqueduct, I was like, there's no choice. Atlanta, you simply can't do this. At one point we ended up in some sort of aqueduct, I feel like. We crawled through the sewers to get to the venue. I'm thrilled to be here. I'm happy to be here playing amongst you guys.

And I didn't know that anyone was getting paid. It kicks in after the eighth show. You have to vest? You have to vest. Eight shows. You've got to earn your keep. We'll cut her after seven. Give it up for anyone else!

No. We love you. And I'm so glad you're with us. And whether we like it or not, you're here to stay. Thank you. Thank you. We had quite a fun day today at Jared's Urging. We went for a team pedicure before the show. I'm sure you've seen the photos all over Instagram,

and some people had some very mean comments about this next gentleman. But I will say I saw his bare legs for the first time today myself, and I couldn't help but feel bad for this poor woman rubbing the shag carpet that was covering his highly underdeveloped shins. I've heard of skipping shin day, not skipping shin life, Matthew. Gotta work those shins. But no, no, it looked like a woman was massaging the floor of a barbershop as she was going after it. I've got a couple more, but instead, Matthew

Capitacazza, folks! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Matthew! Matt Lanta! Matt Lanta! Matt Lanta! Matt Lanta! That sounds like an experimental drug.

My doctor prescribed me Matt-lanta. I see Matthew with his wife in a park chasing a soccer ball with a dog. Matt-lanta. Matt-lanta. It can work for you. Side effects include hair everywhere. side effects include hair everywhere. Did they offer...

Here's what I was thinking as I was watching you and trying to riff to myself. Did they offer you like a waxing package? And if so, at what point did they stop? Did they just keep going?

Like, I would wonder. It would look weird if you just went up to the knee and was hairy down to the knee. Like a pair of shorts. They offered me no such package. Maybe they thought it would be just pointless. Maybe they thought

you would leave sooner if they didn't. I'm glad you guys had such a fun time just storing up your material the whole time. The rest of us were relaxing. Well, the thing is, you can't just wax it or shave it. You've got to get like a number three razor and just give it a trim, you know?

Make it look nice, like you're going to the army. They shave your legs when you're going into the army? Clearly, you don't know how the army works. Troy, with all his going in the army experience. Right. I'll have you know I got the military discount for our hotel. No, I didn't. I think you're

confusing enlisting in the army with joining the high school swim team. I've been telling people I was in the Gulf War. Is that not something to do? To get free ginger ales at the bar? That's right. I'll have you know

I was in Desert Storm. Just take the ginger ale. They're free. Finally, folks, let's just do this for two hours. Good crowd. Every team, we're a team up here, right? We're a fucking team, and every team needs a quarterback. Am I right?

We need somebody to lead the squad, and this guy is like our quarterback, except he's more like former Atlanta Falcon quarterback Michael Vick. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it. If you just replace dogs with joy.

Sydney, he murdered a bunch of dogs. I know that. Give it up for Joe O'Brien, everybody. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. How are you, sad sack? I am fantastic!

I truly do love it here at the Masquerade. It is an amazing venue. Thank you so much to Kenny and Stone. Our sound and lighting guys are amazing. Thank you. Thank venue. Thank you so much to Kenny and Stone. Our Sound and Lighting guys are amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. But it really is so great to be back here. And when we're back there, we can hear you guys. So like 90 minutes ago, Jared Logan is back there,

and he's like, it already sounds pretty high out there. And I'm like, we're getting after it. I'm like, oh, it's Atlanta, Jared. Like, it'll mess around. And I know you guys are ready to laugh. I can tell. And I'll put that to the test tonight. We have, you know, it's so much fun what we do.

And we always have a blast. And every trip is different. But this was like a really really uh sweet fun trip because it was a different group than we've had obviously we're shaking things up a little bit and uh who knows when we'll get the five of us together again i just said that backstage but uh this was uh just such a fun it felt like a vacation but also kind of like a shitty rock band too like a shitty rock band vacation. Oh yeah, well we went to multiple places where they kind of asked us what was up.

They're like, are you traveling from out of town? We're in a small place in Chattanooga. Then at the pedicure place, and we're like, oh, we're just on tour. You know, the life on the road. And then they'd go, oh, you're a band. And Joe would go, no. No.

Have you heard of podcasts? And they'd go, no. But yeah, it's been awesome being on the road with you guys. I told people we were a quadruple. Getting pedicures. Yeah, that's what I told the pedicurists honestly that's way easier to digest than the truth so

they're like explain nothing thank you you know it'd be fun I'm just saying this idea on the spot I don't know if we can pull it off but like all year long we have guests join us maybe for the final show of the year in Philly we just fill the stage with every guest that we have. Wouldn't that be fun?

Make it a real Christmas party extravaganza? We'll see. Depends how the ginger ale budget's doing. Keep an eye on those ginger ale budgets. If Sydney hits her eighth show by then, we'll have to just put a photo of her up. No. We love you. We'll spring for cardboard cutouts.

Perfect. That's all I am to you, Matthew. No, that's a pale imitation. But it will be life-size, so it will be good. I'm going to kill Matthew in this encounter. Nice! Nice! This is going to be a juicy sesh tonight, and

as usual, big fan of juice up there, as usual, I don't think we can get through all of it, so we might have to just keep playing until they politely ask us to leave. We don't tend to fuck around in Atlanta, so let's get to it.

Joe O'Brien! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Yeah, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Joe, let me ask you something. In terms of menial jobs that anyone could do, why are you doing this one? That's me vamping. Oh, dude, I can't even begin.

I could ask someone from the crowd on five minutes notice to play the recap, and they could nail it. I'm so angry. So, so, so angry. Wait. Yep. Say it again, say it again. Wait, wait again pause for edit is Atlanta ready Joe O'Brien

take it to the recap oh oh we recap. Pretty good cap. Pretty good cap. I'm tired of doing these. You guys know what the show is. I'll just like send out a mailer. Here's the recap. Our heroes are in the middle of

doing two things. One is a boat trip down the Selin River, hot on the trail of a man responsible for doing some horrible things to some of them. A man named Count Hazerton Lyles IV. Not only do they need to find this count and confront him, but they've also discovered that he's in search of some possibly quite dangerous eldritch knowledge. We're not protecting the boat from the dangers of the river. The second thing they are doing is looking through the Count's journals and books to find out everything they can about him. In so doing, they found a dream excursion ritual that the Count was taking to enter the dreamlands to further his research.

So our heroes have been enacting that same ritual in search of gifts to present to a dreamland figure known as the mad poet. For the count spoke to this man after presenting him with very specific gifts. And the mad poet may very well be the key to understanding what the count is doing. Our heroes have obtained two of these seven gifts and have now entered an underground necropolis somewhere in the dreamlands in search of a skull

of ghoul royalty. No. Yes, Matthew. Okay. Lost my place. The ghouls of the dreamlands, however, are quite different from their counterparts on the material plane.

They're more social, though none less deadly. Last show. In the greatest city in America, Nashville. Sorry, Atlanta. You are a close 53rd. Yeah, you made top 55. They made top 55! That's rough.

I know what I said. In Nashville, our heroes found themselves in a ghoul war camp, more specifically a Leng ghoul camp, where a group of these canine looking ghouls were about to launch an attack on their old stomping grounds because the necropolis they used to occupy has now been taken over by a group of creatures known as Gugs. Gugs. Don't do Gugs. The ghouls consider their old home sacred, and the presence of these Demogorgon-esque creatures,

for the girlfriends of fans out there, or boyfriends. Is an affront to everything the Leng ghouls stand for. Some of the lesser ghouls amongst the camp have been praying to the outer god

known as Nyarlathotep to send them aid in the battle ahead. And when the PCs arrive magically after doing this ritual, the ghouls think that they are that aid. So our heroes go along with it and begin marching with the camp in hopes of finding the skull of ghoul royalty. A leader amongst the ghouls named Jimmy Wilkins tells them that they are about to take their, oh, that they, the heroes, are

to take their strike team and attack the Plaza of Bones, where they believe a group of Gugs have moved in. It's a place of strategic significance, but they need a small group of four specialists, such as our heroes, to go in. Did you just call us specialists? Those are his own words. That's a typo. Got him.

He knows he's afraid. Small group of special asses, such as our heroes, to go in. Google corrected it to specialists. In that plaza lies a mausoleum. Joe, spell mausoleum. Matthew just tried to catch something that was thrown at him, and it was adorable. Thank you.

He missed it by a foot. I think Brennan overestimated my wingspan. Or your athletic ability. He definitely overestimated my athletic ability. I said, in that plaza is a mausoleum, and then I asked you, Joe, to spell mausoleum. Oh, come on. M-A-U-S-O-L-E-U. Oh! E-U-M?

Yeah. Yeah. That's correct. Why did someone say no? Wait, but how do you say it? Yeah, how do you say that word? Mausoleum. Oh, I thought you'd say like,

how do you say a place where there are paintings? Finish the sentence. The natural history. Gallery. Stop it. The metropolitan blank of art. Museum. Does that sound dumb?

It doesn't sound weird to me. I don't understand. Muse ham? You say muse ham. Museum. Can you say the wax writing utensil that children use in coloring books? Crown?

Guys, he's from Philly. Leave him alone. The water in your city makes bread taste so good and people talk so stupid. You mean the water in my city makes stupid... All right, let's go. In this plaza lies a mausoleum of a ghoul prince. Doesn't that sound dumb?

Which should provide them with the skull they need. Some of the lesser ghouls are like, oh, wait, wait, wait, balking at the idea that you, out of nowhere, would defile this sacred ground, as years ago, a skull of a ghoul queen was stolen in a similar manner. But this is the deal you strike,

so you forge ahead. When entering the Plaza of Bones, you see six pillars lining this chamber lit by phosphorescent multicolored fungus. And four of the pillars come to life, essentially, as three skeletal snake constructs and one creature known only as a bone golem attack. And the battle was going fine. Doing great. Until your newest companion, Ave Maria, was struck by one of these snake constructs.

Bitten! And paralyzed. Yes. She was. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Don't speak. Joe O'Brien. Shit.

Would you take it to the map, please? Let's go back to the map. Way ahead of you, good buddy. Look behind you, Troy. It was up there as soon as you said pillars. I was like, they need to see the pill johns. Let's do this. Okay.

Awesome. We are mid-combat. You were saying this is like your favorite way to start a sesh. Absolutely. Mid-combat. You know what you're getting into. Yeah. And you actually have time to think about what to do.

But I forgot to do that today. Yeah. Because you started drinking wine at 11.30 a.m. Because I had white wine at the nail salon. We were so bad. We were so bad today. We were so bad. You were a bad girl.

Let's go! I changed the music to fighting music. We have to fight now. Okay, shut up. I'm ready. Now we fight. I'm ready. I'm ready.

Bad Girls Club. Let's fight. Let's fight. Bad Girls Go! Bad Girls Club. All right, now, Ave Maria, let's talk about 2E Paralyzed, because while it's not as bad as 1E Paralyzed, it's still not great. What is your condition? You are flat-footed?

Yep. Flat-footed and... Can't do shit. Well, you can think about things. You can recall knowledge, so that's probably going to be helpful. Yep. You can recall the, so that's probably going to be helpful. Yep. You can recall the time when you weren't paralyzed. And reminisce.

Well, here's the good news. There is one person left in this round, and that person was a former king of the race known as Zooks. He is Xantar, king of the Zoot!

All hail Xantar! Long may he reign. I've got to give a shout-out to Simon Brumad, who made this sweet pawn of Xantar. Oh, yeah, Simon! That's my boy right there. That's Cy Monstrous on Twitter. The drool is accurate. That's my boy right there.

That's Psymonsterous on Twitter. The drool is accurate. All right, so Xantar, he has loped behind this pillar and loped back around the bone golem to get behind him, because in the jungle, you don't fight things head on. You sneak up behind them

and you smash them really hard and then you eat their carcass. And he's confused that this thing is made of bones and it doesn't seem to have any meat on it so it doesn't look edible and those kinds of things confuse him. But what he's going to do

is he's going to spend his first action to rage! Rage! He's angry that this thing is inedible. And that's going to give him plus ten temporary HP and plus two to his damage. It matters. It matters, gang. It all adds up.

And then for his second action, he's going to heft his mighty great club. And with two hands, he's's gonna shatter this thing's carapace. Alright, you know it does have some sort of resistances, but the bludgeoning damage has been getting through. Strike away.

Here we go. Great club. Oh, and I'm using a die someone gave me in Nashville. This better work guy that gave me the die. Rawr! Natural one. Oh! That's going to be a fan fumble.

Oh, no. How about somebody from Hotlanta? We already used a couple Hotlantas in Nashville because there was no one in Nashville. So Critical, Melee, Fumble. I wasn't listening. I know. You're too busy talking to your hairy little friend. We're going to go ahead with Atlanta.

All right, let's do it. Okay. Oh, jeez, we don't have Atlanta. We do have Charles from Greenville, Tennessee. We have nothing from Atlanta? Well, it's very specific. It has to be a fumble and it has to be melee. You know what's cool?

If we don't have someone from Atlanta, we can just not do a fumble. I think that's fair. That's only fair. All right, this one's called Promises Broken. They said it would hold up great in combat, but it's clear by now. The painful pinch on your buttocks that the person who crafted your armor was a damned liar. The sudden jolt of pain and subsequent... Subsequent?

I always say subsequent. Dummy. You big dummy. Dummy. This Charles busted me in front of this whole crowd. Subsequent destroyed a pane in subsequent needed adjustment

Oh my god. This is so poorly written. Isn't there a word count on these things now? There is. I'm sorry I can't read this. It's poorly written. The result is

you cannot take reactions until your next turn. No reactions? So what you're wearing is fouling up and you're like too busy worrying about that. My loincloth went up

into my sensitive area. Yes, you have a wedgie in your privates. Right. And you can't take reactions. Let's be blunt about it. My taint is in great pain. Yeah. Okay. You you can't take reactions. Let's be blunt about it. My taint is in great pain. Yeah.

Okay. You're experiencing taint pain. Can we say taint on the podcast? You should try Madlanta. Say it a few more times. You should try the two pills of Madlanta. It will help you. Well, that just makes me rage even more!

Who cares about reactions? Xantar has no need for your civilized reactions. Angered by his miss, he spins in place and brings the club around again in a reckless, haphazard way, taking his second attack at negative four. Is that correct? Do you have an agile club?

Oh, does it have to be agile? If it's not, it's a minus five. Actually, but it might be negative four. Right? I believe there's a barbarian ability. It's negative five, guys. It's negative five. It's negative five because there's nothing agile about it.

What are the properties? Can you read the properties on the club? Can you see the words? There is one word that I think read the properties on the club. There is one word that I think would matter here. Melee. Okay. Plus one striking great club.

And it doesn't... It's not agile. It's a part of a tree. No, no, it doesn't have to be agile. It's not a rapier. There's one with two-handed weapons where if you miss, you get a bonus on the next swing because it's the force of it. Okay, I don't think it's this. Here comes my attack.

And I know that people on Reddit have been saying, don't take the second attack. And to you I say, here comes the second attack. That time, Daddy rolled a 23. Unfortunately, that's a miss. No! Daddy missed. Daddy missed. I'm telling Mommy.

Daddy's going to go get drunk. Leave him alone. I'm telling Mommy. Daddy's gonna go get drunk. Leave him alone. Daddy said some weird stuff when he came home from round one. It's the top of round two. Actually, it might be round three.

Who cares? It's Ave Maria's turn. Oh, wait. You're paralyzed. Okay, so... Excellently timed, LaVallee. Okay, but in 1E, I've been paralyzed before, Legacy of the Ancients. It sucks ass. I don't need your life story.

In 2E, you said it's a little bit better. So how long am I paralyzed for? The only reason it's better is because there's no coup de grace mechanic in Pathfinder 2E. That's really the only reason it's better. However, because you got paralyzed by this snake construct, John, you tell me if there's anything you want to do this round before I give you some more information. I would like to become unparalyzed, Troy. Is that your final answer?

Yep. Give me a fortitude save. Easy. Fuck. Oh, no. 17. You are still paralyzed. Oh, no. 17? You are still paralyzed. Oh, no!

Thanks for playing Paralyzed Cleric. The new hit game sweeping the nation. So what's the deal, though? I make a check every round? You can make a check at the end of each of your rounds to try and remove this horrible paralytic condition. But in the meantime, you are basically helpless. Oh, go ahead.

No, no, I was going to say, if these guys start doing a full attack on you, oh, baby. But they can't coup de grace. No, they can just slowly wheel away at your hit points until you die. She makes strong eye contact with any party member that looks at her, pleading with only her eyes. We're embarrassed for her, so we avoid eye contact. Oil can. It's just awkward when you bring somebody along into the dreamlands and then they get paralyzed. Oil can.

All right, now remind me, because I'm sure you guys have thought about this every day since the last show, which among you are stunned one from failing on your role against the snake's sexy dance of death? Atticus was really into the sexy bone snake's dance of death. He is stunned one. And I think it's just you, and perhaps the rest of you are now immune to it. For 24 hours. Yeah, okay. Great. Just checking. So now we

will move on to a little character known as Atticus Grimm. Oh, no. Well, the problem is that this bone dude is immune to magic, for those that tuned in in Nashville. Which is my only

jam. However, you did do some knowledge checks on this guy and you find out that he's harmed by sonic and slowed by cold and he is currently slowed so he only gets two actions per round. Yes, which is great

but I still didn't do any damage to him, and I'm trying to see if I can help anybody out here, but I don't think I can at the moment. So Atticus might try to get in there and help Ave Maria. So in

the interest of that, shit! Dah! He's going to I'm not going to overthink it, this is bad, but he's going to cast Mirror Image. I'm going to cast Mirror Image, because I think I have to get in there, and the reason I say it's bad is because I think this is the start of a long run into this place, and I don't want to use up

all my stuff, but Mirror Image. How many are you? It doesn't work that way in 2E. I don't really know, but it's not like, I don't roll for images, I don't think. I'll get back to you on it, but that's all I can do this round because I'm stunned one. All right. So I lost an action, and then I made 11 Atticus's.

Does that look good? 11 Atticae. We're sticking to the traditional Latin. That's just fun. That's just good, clean fun. It's three. Three images of myself. Swirl about my space. Swirl about my space.

Swirl about my space. Okay. Cool. Fun. Good times. You think the swirling would give it away that they're fake? Yes. Yes.

The main Atticus was not swirling around so much. So, yeah, maybe it would give it away. Don't ever do that again. It is the Bone Golem's turn. And you're about to enter the Bone Zone. He is going to do some fist attacks. And you know that his fists does bleed damage. Now, Sir Julie, last show in Nashville, if you remember, you laid on hands to heal,

and we erroneously thought that that would cure your bleed damage. Not so in Pathfinder 2nd Edition. You have to roll a DC 15 flat check. However, little GM Fiat, I could say that's a DC 10 check. So I'm not going to give you extra damage, but at the end of your turn... Actually, give me it right now. Let's see if you're done with bleed. 15. 15? All right, you're done with bleed.

All right! Nice job! Good talk. Now let's see if I can hit you and give you the bleed condition yet again. Now that we got that out of the way, here comes its bony fist. Ooh. Ooh. 34. Yep.

Hit, not a crit? Just a hit. Not even close. I need some new D6s. My D6s suck. I don't know why you asked. All right. That is going to be 13 points of damage plus one D6s. My D6s suck. I don't know why you asked. That is going to be 13 points of damage

plus one D6 bleed. The second attack whirls around with that fist. It's like one of these things comes to hit you, Sir Julie, and just keeps going to try and punch Xantar, King of the Zoos. 23 to hit. 23 to hit is

a... Has to be a miss. That should be a miss. Wait, loincloth, taint. It's a miss! Huzzah! Huzzah! You barely graze his sweaty pecs. He misses.

Excellent reflexes, Your Grace. We've got a sweaty pecs fan in the audience. Thank you, Sir Julie. Your Grace. We've got a sweaty peck spanking in the audience. Thank you, Sir Julie. Your Grace. And because the Bone Golem is slowed for Manicus's cold spell earlier, that is the end of its turn, and now goes

to Sir Julie Andrews. Sir Julie! Sir Julie! Knight of the Dawnflower. Alright, this is what Joe and I were hobnobbing about. So, first action, sure, Julia's gonna activate her mercy, and then she's going

to lay on hands Ave Maria. Yes! So she is, you're healed 24 hit points. And then, because of the mercy, I get to roll to counteract the paralysis. You angling for a bottle cap over there, buddy?

I'm always angling for a bottle cap. All right, so you're rolling against the original DC of the paralytic effect. Yes. All right. There is one important thing here, which is, did it come from the bone snake, John? It did. So you need to have their level and round up. Why?

Because that determines how easy it is for her to counteract. Don't say yes. You don't know. All right. Have the level. What does that mean? Counteracting is famously complicated. But I think me andew just figured it out

on stage i think we should i say matthew and i it only matters i have to i have to hit the dc first for that to matter okay uh and i doubt i do with a rolling natural two for 14 she is still paralyzed. Hold on.

Hold on. Yes. Yeah, you're right. She's still paralyzed. Wait, is the... Thank you. This is higher than 14. This does matter.

So on a regular failure... No, it doesn't. Because you still have... Oh, yeah, it does matter. It does. I was right. Oh! All right.

It's a regular failure, not a critical failure. What? What is the creature's level? Is it like a seventh level... I don't have to tell you right. It's a regular failure, not a critical failure. What? What is the creature's level? Is it like a seventh level? I don't have to tell you that. Are you a cop? If you're a cop, you have to say you're a cop. You look like a cop.

You look kind of like a cop. Half the creature's level, because this could matter. All right. Half the creature's level would be two. It's a fourth level creature. Okay. Okay. So.

I think. So I do. What is the DC? The DC. All right. Is's a fourth level. Okay. So, I think. So, I do. What is the DC? The DC. Is this a critical failure? No, it's not a critical failure. She's no longer paralyzed. Let's go! Yay!

Sir Julie! Wait a minute. Matt Lantau! Matt Lantau! Matt Lantau! Matt Lantau! What is your nickname in this one horse town? Matlanta! Matlanta! Matlanta! Matlanta! Matlanta! What is your nickname in this one horse town? What?

Oh, it's Matlanta. You don't have a nickname here? No, no, it's Matlanta, dude. You're in Matlanta, bro. I didn't even... I'm taking you to downtown Matlanta. Oh, he's taking you to Mattlanta. Yeah, so because the creature is much lower... She's not paralyzed. Great.

Good for you. You win. You know what? I can't wait until they shred us on the boards for getting that wrong. I know. I think that's the worst part. I think we got it right. I can tell this crowd is a very hero-forward crowd.

No bottle cap! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! He loves playing the heel up here. I can end this fucking show right now. That guy just threw his hat. A man threw his hat because of you. I'll say, I'll see you in Boston so fucking quick.

You don't even know. You don't even know whose turn is it. You still got actions? I You don't even know. Whose turn is it? You still got actions? I still have a third action. Kill him! So I am going to go after the bone snake, the northern bone snake. The northern bone skin, as they're not known.

The bone in the north! That is a 20 to him. 28? 20. 20. hit. 28? 20. 20. Ooh. 28. That is a big old miss.

I'm done. Yeah, you are. Oh, wait, no, I'm not. Give me the bleed damage. DC 15 flat check. Five. Awesome. You take two points of bleed.

Bleed. I'm bleeding, everybody. Bleed, old woman. Now it's my turn. We've done so many dances of death, I'm tired of it. I just want to go whale on you. So here's what I'm going to do.

Oh, fuck. I don't know what your reaction situation is That's okay This little piggy Is going to Fuck, the way you're all standing It's very hard to flank you guys That's how

Mattlanta works You don't talk to me like that Let's see how much speed they have Fuck my ass 5, 10, 15, 20 25 Maybe later but Alright

Stay focused LaValley We'll deal with one exciting thing at a time All right. Stay focused, LaValley. We'll deal with one exciting thing at a time. All right, here's what's going to happen. This old bitch is going to walk around and try and fight you. No, no. Don't you talk to me. You don't talk to me either. Does that provoke from Sir Julie?

No. Now, what's you know about? I just was saying no. See what I have to deal with? I'm just filling the space. Do I get an attack of opportunity? I don't have a reaction. No?

I mean, clerics in Tui are known for their attacks of opportunity. That's why people build clerics. I think I should get one. That's why people build clerics. I think I should get one. That's not how this game works. About 20% of people have attacks of opportunity. So that snake slides, slides, slippity slides around Sir Julie, laughing as it does so. Gets you into flanking position. You are flat footed, Minus two to your jaw.

Here comes a jaw attack. Fuck. Nice. Sixteen. Miss. That is a critical failure. Oh! All right.

It doesn't matter. It's not a nat one. So it's just a really embarrassing miss, I guess. And then I'm going to try it again, and I missed again. Now, the other one is going to also take a bite on you at your little minus two. Or do I want to paralyze you again? Well, we'll see. The knight is young.

First is the jaw. Fuck, 15. Critical failure. First is the jaw. Fuck, 15. Critical failure. Cut. All right. And then the second attack against you is a miss, and then it is going to create some distance here and move away. Oh, nice.

And it is Xantar, king of the zoogs' turn. I'm back, baby. Okay, let's think about this carefully. I'm going to hit it with my club. Yeah! This time... My liege. This time, I'm going to hit it...

He's not really your liege. I'm just pumping everybody up. Come on, man. Now, you are keeping in mind that your organism is flat-footed, right? My organism is flat-footed? That's a really weird way to say that, Jared. I don't like the way you said it. Oh, because it's flanked.

You're flanking with your jewelry. Flanking with the old woman. All right. Flanking with the old woman, by the way, is the title of my first album. Flanking with the Old Woman, by the way, is the title of my first album. Xantar, blood is coming from his eyes and ears and nose. He's so angry. And he's bringing his club down again.

And that time, ladies and gentlemen, it's a natural 20. Oh! Xantar! Oh, baby! All right. Do we have anything close to Savannah, Georgia, Joe? Savannah. Oh, man. This is...

Well, if you put it in Atlanta, Savannah comes... Okay, come on. Come on, come on. Melee crit from Savannah. Please, okay. Well struck, sire. Patrick from Atlanta?

Yeah! Yeah! Hi, Patrick. Wait, wait, wait. Let's find out if this is really him, because no one was more psyched for Jared's crit than that dude, who I think is also the one that said he's from Atlanta Let's find out if this is really him, because no one was more psyched for Jared's crit than that dude.

Who I think is also the one that said he's from Atlanta and only here to see us. So let's see if he's Patrick the liar. All right, let's see if this is really the Patrick you say you are. Do you remember? That's you? That's going to be the best feeling in the world in a lifetime. It's going to be the best. Patrick! It's got to be the best.

Again, huge thank you to Gearbox Build who built this and our website. They're amazing because this opportunity is so good. And also your $15 subscription will pay Sydney's salary this evening. Thank you, Patrick. Thank you. Minus taxes. Once she vests. Once she vests.

Once she vests. You only have to do 30 live shows. Only a few more shows. All right. Do you remember the sweet sounds of earth, wind, and fire? Fill your soul and body. Do you remember? Double damage.

and fire. Fill your soul and body. Double damage. For the next one for the next 1d6 rounds you get a plus 2 to your dex bone. Extend this effect by 4 rounds if you can sing the first verse of September

by Earth, Wind, and Fire. Alright. September September The leaves are falling in September It's back to school It's September All my friends at school and I Play Pathfinder So close.

The correct answer was... Do you remember? Is that the song? Yes, yes. The 20s. Do you remember? Do you remember? The 20s.

Something, something in September. Two more lines. Something like that, right? Two more lines. Something like that, right? Why would you make the good thing be based on singing? I would have crushed that. This person knows entertainment, Jared.

The correct answer was, do you remember the 21st night of September? Clearly, I don't. Love was changing the minds of protectors. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Can Troy lower the rounds by singing the first verse of September by Earth, Wind, and Fire? Can he actually sing it? I haven't. I think he's right here.

He pulled up the lyrics. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I No, you got a couple... What was it? Is it extra 1d6? No, no. It's just 1d6 and extra four rounds if he could sing it. I'll give you an extra round. An extra round of...

Of that plus two dex bone. So roll a d6. Roll a d6. Roll a d6. Two. All right. So for three rounds, you get a plus two to your dex. That's fine.

Okay. Plus two to my dex. But for right now, double damage. So roll your damage as normal and then. But for right now, double damage. So roll your damage as normal and then double it. I already rolled my damage. If I double it, you're looking at 44 damage. Oh!

Dude! Bludgeoning. Bludgeoning all gets through. That makes me want to sing. We're going to get sued. Do you have any more attacks? I get so lost. Yeah, I'm sorry. That was one action.

You know what? People say, don't take those other attacks, but here comes one. I thought so, with you. Zantar after cracking the bones of this thing and seeing a little bit of marrow ooze forth he gets sexually excited and brings his club down again at

negative five and that time he rolled well let's just say with the negative five it is under one so he missed you've got one more action. Do you want to move into a new position? Or perhaps... Yes, he does.

Actually, he wants to keep flanking with Sir Julie. So, um, this thing's probably immune to demoralizing it, right? Um, there's a good chance that it is immune to mental effects such as that. Yeah, it's a construct.

It's very smart of you. Let me see. I only have 20 feet of movement, so I can only go... Here's something you can do. I'll throw it out there if you don't like it. Throw it right back. You could do something, if you describe it flavorfully enough, that would help Sir Julie on her next turn.

You could try to roll to aid, correct? Oh, aid her. Do you have to be adjacent to do that? Yeah. Okay, so I want to leap up and down like an ape, making the thing, yeah, like, you know. So that the construct, because it just, it has to keep focused on me and not on Sir Julie. Okay, make an attack roll or a skill check if you have a skill you'd like to use instead of an attack roll. A skill? Intimidation. I will use intimidation for that.

Okay, great. Where I have a plus 13. Baby, make it good. And I rolled a 38. Whoa. You. Right? No, 28.

28. 28. All right, you're going to be aided. You're going to get a plus one to your attack when I put you back around. Nice. Nice. Nice. Okay.

Hit the thing, old lady. It's round 27, and it's Ave Maria's turn. Woo! Here we go! Ave Maria! Do you remember? Do you remember? New mashup, I love it. Back in the game, baby.

She's going to reach her hand back towards Sir Julie and say, thank you! And she's going back towards Sir Julie and say thank you! And she's going to heal Sir Julie with a heal spell, just somatic so that's only one action because she's touching her. Coward! And it's smart. And you're going to get

1d10 hit points back. So let me roll that. A little heal action for your friend Sir Jules. It's only five. The light of the dawn flower shines upon me. Thank you, Ave. And she says,

I'll do more when more people are hurt because the spell's more effective for more people. It's useless to do it now. Not a lot of people took damage yet. See you later. And she runs toward the snake to the south. The bone snake to the south.

The one fleeing like a coward? No. The snake that's fleeing like a coward. I was like, I'm not. He's just gearing up. For what? Don't worry about it. She, she, well she already had it unsheathed, it's not an action unsheathed,

but her scimitar, and she is going to swipe at it with her brand new badass plus one wounding, which wounding doesn't matter, striking scimitar. Nice. All right, let's go. Fuck my ass. Oh, no. This is a children's go. Fuck my ass. Oh, no. This is a children's show.

Matthew's baby listens to this to go to sleep. I'm sorry to Matthew's baby. You just voided your contract. That I said that. No, and only one more show. Give me that $15 minus tax cut. Great. Now I owe Troy money.

My three-year-old daughter listens to the podcast, and the other day she told her preschool teacher, fuck my ass. And now we can't send her to that preschool anymore. So now she's going to be stupid. All because of Sydney. She's never going to get into college, Sydney. I really wanted to say thank you to Eric from North Foundry for throwing these dice up for me.

Yeah, North Foundry! North Foundry's in the house tonight. But I can't. Because I rolled a natural one. No! tonight. What'd you roll? But I can't because I rolled a natural one. No! Dude, this might be the best subscription

tier on Patreon. I know. Why are you... Wait, what did you do? What did I do? Swing with your scimitar. Swing with your scimitar, that's right. I missed Joe is what I did. Okay. Oh man, this is far. Goose from Richmond, Virginia

I'm getting too old for this shit I don't know, Ave Maria, I don't know You miss, and while you don't hurt yourself or anyone else, this reminder of your inevitable decline due to age is such a downer that you must roll a will save

Against what? Becoming depressed? It's against the AC of the creature. So this is going to be... You're going to fail. No, I'm not. Let's see. Watch this.

That's not bad at all. That's a 29. Take that. That's a pass. Whoa. A pass This still affects you This frustration At your age catching up with you

You are slowed One for 1d4 Four rounds What was a fail? I'm just curious Fail was slowed two for 1d4 rounds. A round! Oh, no! You dirty little dice off my table.

That's poison. Catch it! So for four rounds, you only get two actions. Oh, brutal. Brutal! So that's your turn. Good turn, Abed. Thank you, Goose.

Thank you, Goose. It now moves on to Atticus, who, by the way, has done nothing this combat. And will continue to do nothing. You did all this? Atticus killed a snake? I killed the only creature, FY Izzle. I am just, I got a lot going on. I got that.

I got the music. I'm doing crits. I am going to, so this bone snake that came at me, but then turned its attention to Sir Julie, is still kind of freaking Atticus out. It's only 10 feet away. So he's going to start grabbing up the loose rocks from the cave that are in front of him and just start

just shooting it at this thing from the ground using telekinetic projectile. It's very cool. Oh, come on! That is an 18 to hit. That's a miss. That's a. That's very cool. Oh, come on! That is an 18 to hit. That's a miss. That's a big old miss.

And then he is going to... Oh, that's brutal. You know what? Yeah, he's going to get out of there. So he's going to run away from this creature, comes around the pillar, and then finds himself suddenly in combat right near Ave Maria

and the other bone snake. And has to kind of rethink his strategies. Maybe he can help her. I don't know. But that is going to be his round. Okay, and the telekinetic thing was two actions? Correct. This is going to be the whole show.

No. I'll kill someone. Here we go. I'm having a good time. It's time for the Bone Golem. The Bone Golem is mad. And he is going to whip out his bony fist again. He used that sweet bone prison on Sir Julie early in the fight. But the frequency of that was once per day, unfortunately.

So I'm going to wail on Sir Julie to start. Let's really take you out. First attack. Here comes the critical hit, because that is a 37. That is not a critical hit. Oh! Sir Julie of the Dawnflower! But it is a hit.

That's not a cheap price. Okay. Alright, that is going to be 11 points of damage. Okay. Second attack is on Xantar King of the Zoogs. Ah! 28 to hit Xantar King of the Zoogs. That hits! And that triggers my

Retributive Strike. Ah! You're done, kid. You're done. So you get nine resistance against whatever damage he rolls you. Eight damage to you, plus bleed. That's taking off the nine? What? That's after the jump. That was after the reduction? Oh, it's nine?

Yes, you take no damage. Yeah! It's only eight points of damage. Yeah, I rolled two ones on 2d6. Alright, and here's my attack. Natural one. Oh, my God! We're having a good time. What has happened?

What did we do to the gods? We are going to get farther and farther from Atlanta on these fumbles, you buffoons. All right. San Diego fumbles. Seriously. Grant from O'Fallon, Missouri. O'Fallon! Hi, Grant.

Grant? O'Fallon? Oh, no. Didn't make the trip? Oh, no. Blood fountain. Your attack completely missed your opponent and instead finds your artery

spewing blood everywhere. Deal normal damage to yourself. Oh. And? And gained 1d4 drained. What? I don't even know what that status is. Oh, that's bad.

I have it right here. 1d4. I'm going to roll it in front of Joe. But drained, when a creature successfully drains you of blood, force, or life, you become less healthy. No shit. Drain always includes a value. Let's see what that value is. Two. You are drained two.

Throw that on your character sheet. You take a status penalty equal to your drained value on constitution-based checks, such as fortitude saves. You also lose a number of hit points equal to your drained value on constitution-based checks such as fortitude saves. You also lose a number of hit points equal to your level. Yeah. That hurt. Yeah. Times the drained value. So wait, your level is 7 times 2 is

14, so you lose 14 hit points and your max HP is lowered by that same amount. How do I get rid of this condition? I'm sorry? How do I get rid of it? Oh, a full night's rest reduces the value by one. Yeah. Oh! This is amazing.

Grant! Alright, but it's still going, Grant. He really took a lot of Johns with his Oh, man. All squares in a 15-foot cone in the direction of your target. Now, a 15-foot cone in the direction of your target. Now, a 15-foot cone puts Xantar, I think, outside of it, just barely. But the creature in it, because of all this blood,

those squares of the creature become under the effect of the grease spell. Creatures attempting to move through must make a reflex save or an acrobatics check against your class DC to move through the squares. So you're not trying to move through the squares, but you're fine. So wait, there's blood. How much blood? It's a ton of blood. It goes 15 feet away from Sir Julie. And if the creature attempts to move out of those squares, it's going to have to succeed at a save to move normally out of those squares. Okay. Blood everywhere.

Sir Julie dying. Dude, drain two is no joke. I really should have used the hero point, but I didn't think the thumb was going to be that bad. Remember that Atlanta show when Sir Julie died? No. I'm not going to die. We're in the dreamlands. I'm just going to be horribly afflicted with a new mental disorder. I'll not going to die. We're in the dreamlands. I'm just going to be horribly afflicted with a

new mental disorder. Try to wake up. Alright, now that I know your fortitude saves are down, this snake is going to attack you. Let's see. Oh, dude. This could be so good if I could just roll well. Come on, Lavelli! Crap.

18, followed by a cracked eye. Oh, oh, oh, 25. Both miss. 18's a critical failure. It's meaningless. All right. So this guy that's next to you, attack, attack, and then backs away.

The other one is going after Ave Maria. Ave Maria, this doesn't look too good for you here. Nope. First, the jaw. 20 to hit. 20 misses. Then a second attack. Ah, shit. Does a natural 20 hit?

Oh. Wait, does it? I know it hits, but is it a crit? What would it be? It would be a 26. No, not a crit. I thought a natural 20 is it a crit? What would it be? It would be a 26. No, not a crit. I thought a natural 20 is always a crit. Would it hit?

Yes, it hits me. Of course, so then that becomes a critical. It's a long story. We'll talk about it in the green room. Are we pulling a John for this? What? Are we pulling a John for this, or is this an unnamed? Yeah, because it was...

Well, no, it's not a named character. Don't worry about it. So double it. Okay. However, I need you to roll a Fortitude save. Not this shit again. All right, let's see. Well, I roll double damage.

Double damage. I think that's going to be okay. It's a 26. You're not paralyzed. Thank God. Thanks, Sarah and Ray. However, you take 20 points of damage. That's fine.

That's nothing to me. Damn, she ain't afraid. And then he steps between you and the multiple Atticus's. The multiple Attachi. And we finish again with Xantar, King of the Zoogs. Let's finish again with Xantar, King of the Zooks. Let's see. I guess... Yeah, I mean, I want to take down this bone golem.

I'm going to take another swing at it with my club. I haven't gone since he aided me. Whose fault is that? Yours. It's your turn. Sorry. I skipped you. I went right to the snakes.

Okay. Sir Julia is going I went right to the snakes. Okay. Sir Julia is going to attack it against the bone guy. The flat-footed bone guy. The flat-footed bone guy. With the aid from the king. That's right. Plus one. Come on, dude.

Okay. That is going to be... Oh, it's going to be a hit. Is it a crit? It's a 30 to hit. Not a crit. It is a 30 to hit. Not a crit. Is a hit, though. Woo!

Come on. Get him! Oh! 29 points of damage. Yeah! Is your weapon a bludgeoning weapon? No, it's not. You notice that not all of that gets through.

Yeah, yeah, yeah Okay, second attack Is gonna be a 22 to hit Miss Okay, and third attack I am going to aid Xantar Ooh Yeah, working together, synergizing

Team building What's good for the goose is good for the gander And I am going to Just fucking roll a skill check Racing. Team building. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. And I am going to... Just fucking roll a skill check. He used to do that shit in our home game. Just like spout stuff and it would stop all the action. And everyone would look at him and be like, what did you just say? Why did you say that?

I before E except after C. 22. A bet he saved is a 22 intimidation. All right, that's going to be a plus one. Yeah! Zantar! And it's Zantar! Zantar!

Zantar with his plus two from, oh, no, wait, that's damage. Plus one from Sir Julie. Tries to shove his club in and then kind of pry the thing open like a locked car trunk. And I stand by that metaphor. That time, Xantar rolled a 30.

That is a hit. Yeah! Get him! Get him! Alright, here we go. I smell blood or bone dust, one or the other. Damage. You're looking at 15 damage.

15 damage. All of it goes through with your bludgeoning weapon. With your bludge. Troy, we forgot to do my bleed. Okay, roll a flat check, DC 15. Fail. You take three do my bleed. Okay, roll a flat check, DC 15. Fail. You take three points of bleed.

I also forgot to deal the damage to myself from my wound, from my fumble, so I just did that. So Sir Julie's looking pretty bloody right now. Awesome. Sir Julie not looking good. Second action from Xantar is his negative five attack. If I can do this one time. Yo, it's just negative five to your bonus.

It's not a net negative five. Yeah, you just go off what's your sheet. Right, I know that. Yeah. Okay. This last time you were like, it's below zero. I just kind of let it go. Oh, with a die roll.

I got you. I got you. Okay, just make it true. Yeah, you know what I was getting at. But if I can make this, I'll be a legend. Let's go. A legend in this town. Uh, that is...

What the hell? Oh. It's like a 20... It's like a 20... It's like... Sorry, I got it. 21. Are you sure?

Uh, well, give me five minutes. What's your regular to hit my regular is plus 16 alright so add 11 to what you just rolled right 19 it's a 19 it's a 19 that's a mess yeah I thought so

that's okay and we've also proved that I'm bad at quick math this whole table whole table not into quick math. Sydney, you know you're not into quick math. I can do quick math. That's quick maths. Seven plus five. Two plus two is four.

Seven plus five now. Seven plus five. Fourteen maybe. Nope. Fourteen maybe. Fourteen maybe. It was less? 12.

When your teacher told you in school you need to know math, and you were like, what am I going to use math for? Tabletop role-playing game. Was it 17? I feel like you've been lying on all of your rolls I really don't want to say yes or no It was 12, I said 12 It was 12

Oh, was that your first guess? No I think that head tattoo ink went to your brain The ink has bled into my brain That's how it works Science It sucked math right out of your left brain.

Let's go. I have a third action and I'm going to use it to try to aid Sir Julie. Intimidating! Can I just do it by coordinating my club swings with Sir Julie's rhythm so that we're playing out a song of doom on its rib cage?

Can I just make an attack roll to kind of aid? Just do an intimidate. An intimidate. Here we go. It's so metal. The intimidate roll altogether is a 17. Oh, yikes. It fears you not, my king.

It will. I mean my king. It will. I mean, sorry, it will. It's round 29, and it's Ave Maria's turn. Ave, you are flanking this skeleton. But I only have two actions. Yes, you're slowed. And Sir Julie is not looking good. No, but there's a

fight here you must focus on. Ave yells to... I'm a cleric first and foremost. Ave yells to Sir Julie. Sir Julie, do you need aid? I can only do one or the other. I am very badly hurt, Ave Maria. She says no.

All you hear is no. Do you not see the fountain of blood, the geyser of blood that has erupted from my shoulder? It's literally a blood fountain. She's going to take the damage, assuming when this thing attacks her, because she's not going to be able to do anything else,

but she's going to heal Sir Julie. Oh, man. So brave. Okay. Do you have to move to her to do anything else, but she's going to heal Sir Julie. Oh, man. So brave. Okay. Do you have to move to her to do that or no? No, I'm doing a two-action verbal and somatic, so it takes up all my shit. But... Deeper, Sir Julie.

Your bleeding is getting really out of hand. I'm worried about Sir Julie. Ave's not a doctor. She looks at all this blood. She's like, are you all right? I'm very about Sir Julie. Ave's not a doctor. She looks at all this blood. She's like, are you all right? I'm very badly wounded. Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. You take 14 points of healing energy.

That's how everybody acts. I want to just say. All right, let me talk. There's nothing wrong with counting on your fingers. Don't shame me. The only thing that's wrong with counting on your fingers is it only gets you up to ten. Yeah.

There's nothing wrong with that. That's fine. It's quick maths. My four-year-old used to count on his fingers as well. Do you have any other actions? Fourteen points. No, fourteen points. Thank you. And then she bravely... on his fingers as well. Ha ha ha ha! Do you have any other actions? 14 points. No, 14 points. Thank you.

And then she bravely stands facing the bone snake with her scimitar, unable to do anything else. Speaking of unable to do anything else, Atticus Grimm, what do you do?

He's ready for some bone-on-bone action. Yeah! Maybe later. Nice. How do you always have to sexualize every encounter? I'm sorry, did you just say bone-on-bone action and expect none of us were going to touch that?

I was simply speaking of the littered bones rattled throughout this cave that Atticus is gathering up and gathering up with his arcane energies to then shred through this creature that is in melee with Ave Maria, hopefully trying to

destroy it before it can harm her. So again, casting a spell to grab all these bones and have it crush the creature in front of Avi and Maria. If it has an attack of opportunity, it could take it. I didn't think so. Come on, dude. Fatstick.

We are ice cold tonight. That is an 18. And I'm angry. Trying to sing so I don't break my computer. 18 to hit. That's the same thing you rolled last round. It really is. It was two natural threes in a row.

The blood's getting out. The blood is... Now the blood is covering it. He starts slipping on Sir Julie's artery blood. Oh no. The whole room is filled with blood. As my third action,

I would like to do an action that I don't know if it exists. Is there a... Shit. I don't know the rules enough. But is there like an instant... Is there a... Shit. I don't know the rules enough. But is there like an... Is there a... Like an action... Like a taunt.

Is there a taunt action? I think it's demoralize. Demoralize. Demoralize. Shitty ass. That's one of the four things you can do with your third action to not make fans angry. Well, it's a construct. It's not going to get demoralized.

But I do want... Demoralized has the mental trait. You would assume that this is not going to hurt them. Do you have a weapon? Do you have anything that you can do to contribute to this fight? I can't do anything. That was my big try to harm it.

Dude, I killed one in one shot before. If I rolled better, I could do it. But what I want to do right now big try to harm it. Dude, I killed one in one shot before. If I rolled better, I could do it. But what I want to do right now is try to draw its attention from Ave Maria to me. Like I'm not afraid anymore. I've got many atakai in the fight. But I don't know a way to draw it.

Especially with her not moving. So, he's just going to How about a, he's going to do a perform check and be like, and just get weird in its face. And I'm going to roll a die. And I don't care what you say or think about me as a person. That's a 20.

Ah! Yeah! Well, dummy, that will give a plus one to her. Woo! Aided your friend with that performance. Sure, sure. Isn't that fun? Yes, it is fun.

I just wanted it to attack me. That's all it's called. Well, it's not going to because there's too many of you. I'm not going to hit you. This is for you. Is it a genius? Actually. You just said it had no mind.

Yes. I'll have you, it has a minus five to its intelligence. It is the Bone Golem's turn. This thing is still alive. And I think I'm going to attack Sir

Julie because you are at the precipice of death and I want to kill you in the dreamlands. Here comes its bony fist. I just had one quick question for Joe.

Joe took a pretty bad fall there. Yeah, that was pretty ugly. He fell off the side of the stage. Did Joe break his leg? He's yelling. He's in a lot of pain, it seems like. The grace of a gazelle that was shot

while it was running. Here comes the bone fist. Well, actually, 27. Miss. What is your AC? I don't have to tell you that. All right. You could have figured it out if you were better at math.

All right, second attack. Hit me! Hit me, bone creature! Hit me, bone boy! I'm coming after you, Xantar! Oh, fuck, I should have went after Sir Julian. That's going to be a 33. That's a hit.

And it activates my reaction. Ah! Ah! So you get resistance nine to whatever shit he rolls. All right, so you only take three points of damage because of the resistance nine. And I roll the natural one. Get out of here!

It's set. Let me look in a town that I'll make up. Critical fumble. Or do I just do this? All right. I don't know how these fucking computers work. He just closed the window. I found it!

Wait, it's gone again. Ruh-roh! Fuck! again. Ruh-roh. Wait. This fumble is amazing. There is a lot of interesting information behind the screen. Get over here. Look at this fumble. It's from Sergeant Farber.

Is Sarge here? It's called I Went to. Sarge here? Woo! Farva! It's called I Went to Juilliard. Oh, my. Farva, you beautiful bastard. Oh, this is great. As you begin your melee attack, you remember that you attended Juilliard

and are an artist, not a fighter. Oh, Farva. They teach stage combat there. Unless you are a bard slash have the bard archetype, spend one of your actions each round for the next 1d3 rounds

attempting to write the next great Galarian play. Amazing! How many rounds, Troy? One V3 is going to be two rounds. Wow. That's what you're missing with the audio recording, is they didn't know between your last sentence and that one,

you were on two different microphones. That was fun. It was pretty fun. That's why you pay to see us. It's pretty fun. That's why you pay to see us. Woo! All right, so that was your attributive strike,

and this thing is slowed. That's its turn. My Bone Golem sucks! But you refuse to kill it time and time again. So, Julie, it's your turn. That means the blood puddle expands. What do you do? Oh, my god.

I spend one action trying to come up with ideas for the next great Galarian play. What are some ideas? I come up with nothing. That's usually what it's like for me when I'm like, let's try to come up with some ideas. If you only use one action, nothing really comes of it. It's really a three-action action. It's hard to write a play when you are bleeding out of your arm. Yeah, that's usually a little bit of a distraction. All right, with my second action, I will attack with my greatsword against the bone goon.

My god, there's so much blood. Okay, 26 to hit? 26 to hit the bone golem. Is he flanked? Yes. Yes. That is a hit. Yes, Sir Julie!

All right, 12 points of damage, slashing. 12 points. Barely grazed him, Sir Julie. All right. Just embarrassing. Second attack is going to be a 22 to hit. 22 to hit is a miss. Oh, and let's do the bleed.

Yes, give me a DC 15, Vlachek. Four. You take six points of bleed damage. Maximum bleed, which makes the blood flow even further. Oh, this is getting really out of hand. My God. All your guys now are subject to a grease spell. Oh, my God.

New guy's in the corner puking his guts out. It is the snake construct's turn. Thank you. The first one, seeing Sir Julie, bloodied and foolish, strides over to you. And attacks you, and I hope I hit and paralyze you for the way that you have ruined this show with your ineptitude. Miss. Okay. Yes. Sir Julie. in this show with your ineptitude. Miss! Okay! Yes!

Followed by another miss. The other one goes after Ave Maria! Miss! Boom! And a miss! Holy smokes!

And then we'll slide out of the way. It is now the Xantar King of the Zooks' turn. Ah! I bring my club down on its disgusting head, trying to crack it open. I'm waist-deep in Sir Julie's blood, and it only makes me excited.

Blood must flow in battle. I respect her more as a warrior for letting it flow. And I roll... Oh, that's good. I roll a 33, bone creature!

Oh! That is a hit. Yeah! Destroy him. Is it a critical with the flank? No. Oh, it is? Okay.

Oh, it is. That is a 16 damage. The bone golem had 15 hit points left. Oh! Santa! Santa! Santa! And his name is John Cena! John Cena!

Skid, we love you. We miss you. We miss you, Skid. All right. The bone golem finally falls There are two of these snake constructs left Do you have any actions left Sandor I do that was just my first action And now I am going to stride

Over it's broken body And insert myself I think I can make it between Ave and the thing. Nice. That's a hero. And then damn your multiple

attack penalty. I'm swinging at the snake. And that time it is 14 plus 16 which I believe is a 30. That is a hit. With the minus 5? With the minus 5. I rolled a 19. Wait, is it flanked?

It is not flanked. And you rolled a 30? Yes, I should have gotten a flanking position. I rolled a 30. Okay, that is a hit. That's a hit, baby. A hit, a hit, a to the planking position. I rolled a 30. Okay, that is a hit. That's a hit, baby! A hit, a hit, a palpable hit! Boom!

Oh, that's good. 22 damage. Wait a minute. 22 damage on the one right there, and it is dead. Two kill rounds! Two kill rounds! Two kill rounds! Two kill rounds! Two kill rounds! Two kill rounds!

Two kill rounds! Two kill rounds! Wow, what a round. I raise my ginger ale. To great battle. After destroying the bone golem and killing the necrophilius, the other one realizes it has no chance, so it leaves.

Oh, come on! What? It vanishes through the wall. Do you want to fight it? No, but at least have it leave by a proper direction. I don't want to fight you! It can talk? It can talk.

So Julie will offer you terms. Wait! Wait, you can It can talk. So Julie, we offer you terms. Wait! You can give us information. I'm going back. Hold on! Do you have any money? I said I don't want to fight. Grab it! What are the anarchists? I don't want to do this combat anymore! Come back, bone worm! We won the encounter! It's over!

What a combat! Thank you for your assistance, other heroes. We live to serve your grace. You were spectacular, my king. Well done. Thank you. I am spectacular. And then Xantar eats a bug off the ground.

You're very brave. You must be very hungry my king. Can we hand wave the time to treat wounds? Sir Julie, come here. I treat all of Sir Julie's wounds and save her. The end.

A little wound treating? The audience is calling for careless whisper. Do you want me to do, like, an actual treat wounds or healing hands? I can do, like, how much time do we have, I guess? Well, I can also, you know, I only need 10 minutes to refocus, so it won't take me very long to also help with my healing. Lay on hands. I can do battle medicine, 2D8 healing.

I have plenty of stuff to do. Do a regular heal, but I think Troy might be willing to hand wave the dice rolling. Yeah, you don't, fuck it. We're good. That's what it says in the core rule book. Say fuck it. It just says page 28. Fuck it. Okay.

So I was asking Joe off camera. Actually, not off camera. On camera. How long his mirror images last, and they're done. So you have killed the bone golem. You have sent these creatures known as necrophiliases back yes from whence they came yes and so a necrophilias yeah was uh i'm going to take about 15 minutes to tell the story of my home game that is not involved i'll go to the bathroom

a necrophilias killed multiple pcs in a one shot i was running because it's not undead and is a construct. It is a deadly-ass creature. So I was like, three of them! But we crushed it because we have Zantor, king of the zoo. Zantor! The Julie of the Dawnflower! And Ave Maria. I didn't really do anything this time.

Come, my friends. We must head. We have an assault to coordinate with our friends. Yes, my friends. We must head. We have an assault to coordinate with our friends. Yes. We are behind time now. We have lost much time. We must move forward. Go. Go. Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. Santa, you're red team. Go.

What do you want me to do? So, run with all haste. Forward. Bring the bone piles. Let's go. Heedless of the dangers ahead. Everyone's healed. Everyone's healed. Scary area. Yes. Bring the boon piles. Heedless of the dangers ahead. Everyone's healed. Scary area, yes. Are you all fully healed?

I didn't take any damage. I'm down like 11 HP. I can heal that. You can heal that, but you still got some conditions. Can you remove those conditions? The only condition I have is drained and I cannot remove that condition. Alright, just be honest. But the bleed is healed.

For once in your life. What a dirty thing to say to your friend. I didn't say it to my friend. Just try for a... As Matt Lana said in Nashville, everything Troy says, 20 to 30% true. At least. All these jokes. So dirty.

Alright. Ahead, Santa. Lead the way. Carve us a path through these ruins. As king, I should lead the way. He scratches his ass. We always put... It is very wise to put your political rulers in the forefront.

Lead the van, Chief of State. I've come to some sort of black barrier that I cannot... Xantar strides forward. I've come to some fog. A fog of war. A shadowy obscurement. As you move further into this cavern, further into the plaza of bones,

the bones become more plentiful. In fact, what wasn't impeding your progress through that initial pillared hallway starts to slow you down. You might even call it difficult terrain.

Don't finish as my sentences for me. It makes me nervous. Why won't this... Oh, wait, did I draw shit on here? Yeah, you did. You drew a green line. I was trying to do a polygon reveal and I drew shit. There's some kind of green line going through my head.

What sorcery is this? Atticus jumps back. I don't understand your green lines. I was raised in the jungle. Damn it, that was a good polygon reveal, too. So, holy shit, you wait, and you walk up, and you see bones and shit. It's so dark. And then you see this.

Oh my goodness! A lot of bones! What a map! That initial plaza opens up into a large cave with strange stone buildings built into the walls. There are cracked bones of numerous shapes and sizes completely covering the floor. of numerous shapes and sizes completely covering the floor. In fact, some of them are piled into these grisly, jagged dunes of bones.

Ahead of you, the center of this open plaza, there's a solid square building jutting from the bones in the center of the room, surrounded by a low, circular wall of gray stone. Everything in here is difficult terrain

that means every step you take should you enter combat, you might not. Shut up! Shut up! Would cost you two squares of movement. Someone help Sydney.

She won't be able to do this math. That is unbelievably rude. Carry the five. Minus two. This man had a pedicure today, and he's still just... So mean! So mean! My feet hurt when she was done.

Well, she was really intense. No, she did a good job. You seemed relaxed at the time. You closed your eyes and reclined. I closed my eyes and thought of a Matthew Lisch show. Then I opened them, and there you were. A basket of hair sitting in a chair. I'm sorry.

I immediately tensed up again. What do you guys do in this bony room? Ave whispers to Atticus at the back of the line and says, Do you think any of the skulls on the ground are the skull we're looking for? Or there's a lot of them, huh? No, Ave, I don't believe we'd be safe. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Something's happening! Difficult terrain! Atticus! Ah! The words difficult terrain surround us in a fog. I hit the word. Can you read it, Ave?

Ah! I know you have trouble with math, but can you read? It's too big. It's way too... Oh, it's small again. I attack the letter C. Get your hands off my wife, says the letter U. Ave says to Atticus.

We're trying to play a serious game here, Troy. Why do you always have to fuck it up? Drawing shit on the map and putting words down. I'm just reminding you that the area is difficult terrain. Ave whispers to the group and says, What's the best course of action? Stealth? Or...

Sir Julian and Xantar exchange a look about stealth. To be quiet. Well, Atticus is going to roll a knowledge on this place. He has read so much about this area, about where we're going, and wants to know if we believe that on the throne here, within this mausoleum, if this could be the mausoleum of... Is it Skarkrim Fost?

Like the queen of the... Prince Skarkrim Fost. Yes, a former ghoul prince whose mausoleum allegedly lies in the Plaza of Bones. But do we think we might be in this mausoleum right now? What's that? We are. They told us we are. We're definitely in the Plaza of Bones, but do we think we might be in this mausoleum right now?

What's that? We are. They told us we are. We're definitely in the Plaza of Bones, but whether or not that mausoleum... I didn't know if we were fighting our way to the mausoleum. Okay. Yeah, you don't see any creatures. All right. He's gonna...

Atticus is just gonna fucking walk in. Fuck this. I'm so tired of this. I'm so afraid of traps. I don't wanna... It's a movie, man. He's walking in. I grab your arm.

That is as predictable as every other RPG player in the world. What? You fear danger. Why? Have fun. Wait! And I grab your little arm. Atticus alone, small, walks forward.

Wait! This is... What now, Ave? I just wanted to say, good luck. She taps you on the shoulder and casts guidance. That's what I wanted to say good luck she taps you on the shoulder and casts guidance that's what I wanted to do Atticus will say Sir Julie if you are afraid

then let us see if we can bypass the eyes of even the undead and he is going to go and he starts doing this casting under his breath eyes of even the undead. And he is going to go Hosh Hashanah. And he starts doing this casting under his breath, waving his arms around in a wide

arc, moving his fingers in a strange way. Ave Maria, you're up close to him because you just whispered in his ear, so move your character. And he... Ave and, uh, Sir Julie who just got him, and he

is going to cast a spell. He's going to cast uh, invisibility sphere around all of us. Oh! And so all four of us are invisible. Wow!

I didn't know you could do that. And all of a sudden you see the world kind of shimmer around you as if you're looking through Atlanta heat on a street. Just like everything becomes wavy. And he's like, do not leave this sphere lightly. Anything you walk out of, or if you walk out, you will be seen. If you attack anything, you will be seen. But until then,

they will have no idea we are here. How far does this sphere extend around you? It's a ten foot radius. Ten foot thing. What color would you imagine it to be? Purple. Awesome. Because that's the color I wanted

my nails to be at the salon. He's not joking. He's not joking. You put this invisibility sphere around you and your allies as you approach this mausoleum in this

bony area. I say, follow me and stay close. There is a door in the front of the mausoleum in this bony area. I say, follow me and stay close. There is a door in the front of the mausoleum. I've already revealed the inside of it, so I'll hide it again for effect later. And he starts moving rather quickly. What? He starts moving rather quickly.

Everybody roll a perception check. Ah. Everybody. Everybody. 34. 24. That's a 25. 25 as well.

Sir Julie and Sir Julie alone to the right of this dumb rat. You notice... I thought it was a pretty good scene. Around the back of the mausoleum, you see... It happens so quickly. But you see this, like, hand, this long, clawed hand, kind of grasp around the edge of the mausoleum.

Looks like maybe a left hand, followed by another left hand on top of it. Can you ping it on the map? Yeah, right. Shma. Yeah, okay. Oh, that's what I thought. That is awful. Yeah, okay. Oh, that's what I thought. That is awful. Shh. Shh.

I'm sorry, did you say two left hands? Yep. One creature has two left hands. We should run. The hand is the size of your face. You would run just because it has two left

hands? Everything's going to be all right. Well, we don't know this yet. Only you have heard... Can I do a knowledge check? On the hands? Yes. Sure.

Can I roll knowledge, religion? Great. Yeah, knowledge, religion on a fucking hand. Natural 19. 34. Wow. That's a pretty good roll. It's one of the best ones I've had tonight. You think this hand

belongs to a living creature. Does it appear Gug-like, perhaps? You don't know what a gug hand looks like? How do you know? I don't, actually. I actually possess the skill knowledge gugs.

Does it appear to have, is it like coming out, or is it just kind of like holding on for fun? It's like it's fucking peeking around the corner. It's like Gollum. Yes, but we're invisible and I don't want to... I quietly whisper this knowledge to my compatriots. Okay.

Atticus is about to open the. Okay. What do you say? Atticus is about to open the mausoleum when you say this. Pauses. Around the back. Around the back. Okay. Lead the way. But go slowly, or you will break the spell.

And he'll follow Sir Julie's lead. We quietly slide to the right. Totally invisible. Totally invis-y. And slide to the right some more. Do we have a view behind the mausoleum? I said that weird. Mausoleum.

Mausoleum? Mausoleham. We're looking to the other side of the mausoleum. Mausoleum. Congratulations. Mausoleum. it's a boy. All right. Right there.

Oh, baby. You're about to see some shit, dude. You are about to see some motherfucking shit. Says the guy who can't do a polygon reveal in time. Can I? Oh! It's like wavy. It's beautiful. It's

beautiful. I don't know why you deprive us of this beautiful map, being able to see you know, like that area. Well, I left one thing off this map that I'd like to show you now. For right behind this mausoleum, looking as

if it saw you and then didn't, is a gook. Look at this fucking thing. Sid, do you ever find a gook? Oh! It's a Look at this fucking thing. Sidney, you ever fought a Gug? No! It's a Hirsute Gug.

It is a Hirsute Gug. It's played by Matthew Capitacazzo. Tonight, in the role of Gug. Its face reminds me of something. Yes. I'm trying to think what it reminds me of. A movie. Can't put your finger on it.

Maybe a movie. I don't know. It feels like a part of someone's body. Yeah, a movie. It's called Teeth. Have you seen it? I was going to make that joke if you didn't. Look at that son of a bitch.

And this thing is just like, it's massive. It's a large creature, right? It's got these yellow teeth that kind of a bitch. And this thing is just like, it's massive. It's a large creature, right? It's got these yellow teeth that kind of come around. It's not even like a lamprey-like mouth. It's like a head that splits in the middle and opens up that is ringed with these long yellow fangs. It has four arms. It kind of like breaks at the elbow bone and splits off into two other arms. And it's sitting there, like, looking,

and you can see it, like, it almost seems a little frantic. Like, it saw you, and now it doesn't. What do you do? Can we all see it now? Yeah. Shit. What are you gonna do?

Um. Atticus. I do, in, Atticus. I do, in our In our pre-established hand signal language, I ask Atticus if he has any ideas for springing a surprise attack. As you're walking, I should say,

you are crunching bones underneath your feet. It's very loud. And it's looking, and it seems like it's starting to smell. What do you do? Five, four, three, two, sit down. I also look at Atticus. I make eye contact, and I hold my scimitar up, and I'm like, I'll fucking do it. I will.

Xantar, what do you do? Xantar runs toward the front of the mausoleum and tries to bash the doors open to get the skull. Xantar slides to the front of the mausoleum to bash the door open. Atticus, what do you do? Brilliant, a distraction. This is amazing. Atticus is... Ooh, man.

Atticus is going to cast an illusion. Okay. Why can't... Why does... How do you... Really? This is a forever thing? It's over? The computer broke? There we go.

For God's sakes. Atticus... What the fuck? Atticus is seeing this thing. Sir Julie's saying she saw something living. After having just dealt with this thing, he is going to say, Sir Julie, hold for a moment.

You'll know where to go. And he is going to cast an illusory object. This creature possibly saw us and now has not. And he's going to cast the exact image of Sir Julie behind it right now. Getting it distracted enough for Sir Julie behind it right now. Getting it distracted enough for Sir Julie to make her move. Xantar,

King of the Zoogs, meanwhile, starts bashing at the front door of the mausoleum. You call up this illusion of Sir Julie directly behind this massive hideous gug. Just as Xantar breaks through the doors into the

mausoleum, let me reveal for the first time ever what the inside of this mausoleum looks like. Oh my god! This small squat mausoleum

is eight feet square. It sits on a raised dais in the middle of a fountain that has long since dried up and is now heaped with bones. The image of a leering ghoul's face with a long canine snout and a haughty expression was carved on the stone door to the mausoleum. However, when you bash that door down, a couple of things are going to happen. Did you start two encounters? Huh? Huh?

All of a sudden, like, is it Ghostbusters? When he's like, open that tank, right? All the ghosts come out. Well, here's what happens. When he bashes down the door, suddenly all these ghostly clawed hands come out. What? What? And they go after Ave.

And they go after Xantar. They can see us? Yep. They crawl around to see Atticus. And they grab at Sir Julie's breastplate. Hell, they even go after the Gug. Everyone roll a will save. Oh my goodness.

Oh my god. Oh my goodness. Oh my God. Oh my God. The Gug passed. But you need to know what level of success for each of you as well as the Gug. The Gug rolled very high.

The Gug, in fact, rolled a regular success, not a critical success. Xantar, in fact, rolled a regular success, not a critical success. Xantar, King of the Zoogs. 19. 19? 19. Yo. Okay, Ave? 24. Yikes.

Let's go with Matthew next, Sister Julie. 27. You big dummy! What about you? Natural 1. No! you big dummy what about you natural one wait hero point yes you son of a bitch 29

woo oh had to I had to I had to that will save get out of here no way critical fumble. No chance. Xantar, Ave, and Sir Julie are cursed. What was the DC?

Don't worry about it. 27? It was high. Don't worry about it. Just in case you didn't hear me over there. Each creature that fails gains weakness 10 to negative. So anytime you're hit by negative and damage, you take an extra 10.

You're also enfeebled one for one round every time you roll initiative. So you are all enfeebled one. Not you, rat. Roll for initiative. Yeah. Oh. This is, this is.

I don't know what to think of this. That is a 26 for Atticus. 26 for Atticus. 26 for Atticus. Rolling pretty well. 31 for Sir Julie. 31 for Sir Julie. Xantar. 23.

23 for Xantar. Ave Maria. 16. Terrible. That's a dollar more than we pay you. All right. Now here's the thing. I'm just going to throw this out there.

If you don't like it, toss it on back. Your goal is to get that skull of ghoul royalty. It's right there. A curse has been unleashed. However, you always have the option to try and wake up out of this dream. It is a simple will save. You know it's bad when he's giving you and wake up out of this dream. It is a simple will say. You know, it's bad when he's giving you the wake up option.

The old wake up option. However, one, you could fail. Nothing really happens. You just burn in action trying to wake up. Or, you could leave your allies to die at the hands of the Gug. Just keeping it out there.

It is Sir Julie Andrews' turn. You are currently... Hold on a second. Invisible. I casted my spell. Doesn't that happen? I think the... Yes. Okay, so flanking this creature is Sir Julie.

Yes, exactly. Thank you. Sir Julie. Exactly. Thank you. Sir Julie whispers to her allies, Grab the skull and wake yourselves up. I'll hold it off. Oh, interesting. Strategy! You see,

this is why you bring a board game guy to an RPG fight. Alright, go. Am I still in visibility in that square? Yes. Okay, great. I saw that. Your knee is showing. And it's flanked.

The creature, the illusory creature provides. Enfeebled, but flanking. 19 to hit. I'm considered for flanking. Okay. Alright, enfeebled, but flanking. Uh, 19 to hit. I'm gonna use my hero point. Yes! Come on! Woo! Come on! Come on! Okay, 27 to hit.

Pretty good. Miss. Oh, no! Flat-footed? Flat-footed. That is a miss. Wow. Oh. Okay. I guess we're all waking up Everyone wake up This was a really fun dream Fun nightmare everyone

Okay, third action I'm not going to be able to hit it without a Natural 20 So instead Go get the skull and wake up I'm going to run around and grab No, I'm going to continue to hold this thing off. That aura, you can just kill it now.

Because she attacked, it kills the sphere. The whole sphere. Oh, because she attacked, the invisibility sphere is gone? Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. I mean, it's basically like because once you get into combat, it really breaks down. This Gug is going to fuck you up.

I mean, this Gug really does... 30 plus AC. 30 plus AC. Dude. Is there a full total defense in 2E? You coward. I'm going to stand there... It's not cowardly.

It's how you fight. I'm going to stand there and absorb its blows Total defense, Pathfinder 2E You know what, I'll Google it for you, Matthew I'm in the core rulebook, I can't find it Here's a Reddit thread How do you defend yourself in combat? You can't unless you have a shield

Alright, now the Sir Julie that's behind me I'll let you think about that Unless you want to take another action. I assume if there's a... I'm not going to attack and I'm not going to hit, so I'm going to do something to either draw its attention or do a total defense, if that's an option. Play dead. Yeah, I don't see a typical total defense situation in Pathfinder 2. Yeah, so I'm just going to... Demoralize.

I'm going to try to demoralize it. Nice. All right. Okay, a couple demoralized fans in the crowd. Yeah, so I'm just going to... Demoralized crowd in Hotlanta. Okay, I rolled a 19. Natural 19 for a... That is going to be a 36.

Okay, that is an intimidation check against the Will DC of this creature. So 10 plus its Will, and you said what? 36. Okay, that is an intimidation check against the will DC of this creature. So 10 plus its will, and you said what? 36. You made it. Yeah! You may strike us down,

but we shall return more powerful than you can possibly imagine. The question is, what language were you speaking? I'm speaking common, but in a very intimidating manner. Unfortunately, you don't share a language with this creature, so it just looks at you funnily with its no-eyed face. If the target does not understand the language you are speaking or you're not speaking a language, you take a minus four. Circumstance penalty of the check.

What was the total? 36. Still passes. Woo! It is frightened one. Nice. So Julie, everyone get the skull and run. It is the Gug's turn.

Now the Gug sees both the thing behind it and the thing that just attacked it, right? Correct. They're both the same. They're identical. I'm going to attack. They smell the same. I'm going to attack the old woman that attacks me and not your illusion. So let's see.

I'm going to do this thing called furious claws where I can make up to four claw strikes, each against a different target. That's the part of the sentence I don't like. So you're going to attack the illusion? Alright, so here's what I'm going to do. I am going to... Ah, I don't want to move. I am...

Cock sandwich! What do I want to do? Alright, I know what I'm going to do. Fuck it. I'm going after Sir Julie. Alright, Sir Julie, here's what I'm going to do. First it. Maybe later. I'm going after Sir Julie. All right, Sir Julie, here's what I'm going to do. First, forget Furious Claws. Forget I even mentioned it. I'm going to do one claw attack against you. Come on.

You know what? Let's bring out old Neon Green, right? It's the end of the show. Let's finish strong here with the jaw. It's the end of the show. I'm ready to go three more hours. 34 to hit. That hits.

Okay. Hope I have a couple of D12s, because that's the damage. I do 25 points of damage. Slashing? I'm sorry? Is that slashing damage? Piercing. Is it?

Yep. Dad's played Pathfinder. Piercing jaws. No, that was supposed to be dramatic. But piercing. Yeah! Alright, here we go. Second attack with the jaw.

Actually, I meant claw. Did I say jaw? I'm sorry. That was claw, and it was slasher. I'm gonna give myself three points back. Okay, I meant claw. Did I say jaw? I'm sorry. That was claw, and it was slashing. I'm going to give myself three points back. Okay. And I rolled the wrong damage, so let me roll it again. There's a reason I did this, and I'll explain it later. It would only have been 21 points of damage.

Slashing. 18 points of damage. Damage. Here we go. Now, second claw. Dude. 32 to him. That hits. A couple of things are going to happen. First,

I'm going to roll some damage. This is going to be 25 points of damage, and then with my final action, I rend you. Oh, no. And that is just auto fucking damage. That is going to be another 25 points of damage.

Oh, my God. Oh, okay. I get it. This is the thing. It's a nightmare. You cannot possibly beat it because you're in a dream. Get the skull! Uh-huh.

Get it! That's what I'm trying to do. And GTFO! Sir Julie, how are you feeling? Poorly. Are you still up? Yes. I mean, she went from full to almost not up in the first round.

My full is not my full anymore because of the drain. Oh. This is amazing. All right. Atlanta. It's getting a little late. What should we call it here? We can do a cliffy right here.

I mean, this would be a great place for a cliffy. Seems like a good cliffy spot. All right, we're going long! We're going long! We're going long! We're going long! So good job, Lodge! Because we're going long!

We're going long! We're going long! So good job, Lodge! Because we're going long! Yeah! love. It's a good job love. It's good to play love. Go in love. Yeah! I think I heard some harmonies out there. That's nice. Atlanta's got it

going on. Sound like the Oak Ridge Boys. Atticus Grimm, it is your turn. You believe in your dumb little rat brain that this is an unwinnable fight. Yes. Should you just grab the skull and run? I know

it is over. He turns. He says, Santa, get the skull and GTFO. Ah, GTFO. He turns and he tries. He sees Sir Julie fighting this fight within a nightmare, being beaten to death.

He... For God's sake. He is going to try his damnedest to go... Shit. Hey, I love it. The game is hard. Every single thing makes you make tough choices. The other Sir Julie vanishes. See ya.

For he is not sustaining, he is grabbing. He is grabbing the teeth, the shoulders, the arms, the legs, the ribs, everything within this living creature. And he is shaking its bones! The arms, the legs, the ribs, everything within this living creature. And he is shaking its bones! Yeah! So go ahead and roll a fortitude save. Not my bones!

Not my bones! Fortitude save. Ah, fuck. Natural 20 for a 42. Oh, fuck. Natural 20 for a 42. Oh, no. You really know how to kill a show. Neon green! He goes to grab this thing and he's like,

a nightmare! Run! At the top of his lungs, because the creature is completely unaffected. I mean, even on a success, amazing shit and bad shit happens to you. A critical success, nothing happens. That is all three of his actions.

He is exposed. Sir Julie is dead. Xantar's an idiot. I'm still alive. We are fucked. So he screams at the top of his lungs. Run! This is so amazing.

All right, so I have to remind you, should you choose to use the Awakening action, it takes three actions to do so. And it's a will save. You either make it or you don't. I have the DC here. It's straight out of the book. But it's a will save. You either make it or you don't. I have the DC here. It's straight out of the book. But that's a three action John.

This, you guys are about to see the most fun 20 minutes of Pathfinder. This is gonna be nuts! All right. Oh, dude, I'm going. Oh, shit! Oh, no! Oh, shit! Oh, no!

Oh, shit! Oh! I just pissed. Your cocks is feeling better? He just turned his chair around. He's the cool teacher now. That's right. Hey, what's up, kids? Listen, we all want to have unprotected sex.

Xantar, king of the zoogs, you're up. Drugs aren't cool. Xantar, you said the doorogs, you're up. Drugs aren't cool. Xantar, you said the door was open, right? The door is open. Xantar jumps in, rips the skull off of the skeleton. Yes! One action. And then, uh, Xantar

comes back out the door and then, like an ape, crawls up onto the top of the mausoleum in one swift move without even having to roll a skill. I like it. I like it. Does he need to roll a skill? Does he need to roll a skill? No.

The way the bones are piled up, you could easily scamper up there. One move in, second action is to rip that skull off. Third action is to move to the top of the mausoleum. That's where he is. Okay.

Yes, Santa! And now it's time for... Ave Maria! We're going to lose subscribers because of this name. Ave is shocked. Everyone loves singing that song. Except for you. No one doesn't love singing Ave Maria.

I sing it in my car all the time. It's fun. You do. That's why I don't drive with you. Ave, what do you got? Things are bad. Your friends are dying. Your turn.

Things are very bad Ave, hearing Atticus scream to just run, she's like What? We can't, this is her first time in the dreamlands, and she's like We can't, Sarjulis

We can't just run Run! And she's like, no! And she moves over to have a clear line of sight Are they? It's just not the real world! on the Gug and she is going to cast

for better or for worse Searing Light Heightened and I shoot a blazing ray of Saren Ray's pure sunlight with holy energy, making a ranged spell attack that I will fail. Or might crit. Might crit.

And if the target is a fiend, it takes five extra. Do you think it's not a fiend? Everyone's shaking their heads. It does not have the fiend trait. Which should be. It looks horrible. According to this, it doesn't have the fiend trait. Looks like not fiend. Everyone's shaking their heads. It does not have the fiend trait. It should be. It looks horrible. According to this, it doesn't have the fiend. Looks like a fiend to Steve. I mean me.

Alright, I'm going to make this... I'm going to make this ranged spell attack. Okay. Here we go. Come on, come on. You still have one hero point. Probably not going to need it. Maybe a natty 18 for a 31 to hit?

We actually don't even know if that's a hit. I don't know. Hit. Oh! Boom! Don't know. Hit. Oh!

Yeah! Boom! Oh, okay. So, six, eight. That hit my hand. It's nine. Oh, boy. You're just making up numbers. These are the parts we edited out of Legacy.

These are the exact parts. 25 points of fire damage. 25 points of fire! It squeals in pain. Ah! And then its jawed head turns towards you. Oh, no. She's already short,

but somehow she gets shorter. Do you have any actions left, or was it move to action John? Move to action John. It is round two of the last round of Sir Julie's life. Dude, no joke. Like, shit.

Listen, I've told you that you can't really die in the dreamlands. Something much worse happens. What do you do? Sir Julie will lay on hands twice. Yeah. Oh, you're not waking up. What? You're not waking up.

I need to cover your retreat. Wow. And then I will remember you Why aren't you running? Who? Run, you, all of you I told you, it's a nightmare

There is nothing real here I'm waiting for Xantar to get out I can't leave you Xantar, it's over Me got scald. Me wake up. You can hear him. He has it. Don't be drawn in by

it. Alright, so Julie lays on hands twice and then uses a feeble attack with her drained state and misses the gugg. Here's the thing about the gugg. It don't miss. It is going to...

Man, I want to fuck you guys up so bad. But I don't want to not rend Sir Julie. Okay. Okay. Everybody calm down. Rest assured, you're going to fuck Sir Julie real bad, even if you don't, friends. All right, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to move right up Shema. Does that provoke? Does that provoke?

So we moved up between Ave Maria, Atticus, and Sir Julia. Perfectly. And here's what I'm going to tell you. If you remember from Giant Slayer, you fought these things. Remember they could squeeze oddly? So as it slides between that area between Ave Maria and Sir Julie, the Gug's body funnels itself and then expands again

as it gets within reach of all four of you because it has 15 feet of reach. Oh no! And now it's gonna do furious claws. Here we go! How tall is the mausoleum?

Xantar's behind a stone wall. I believe I said, no, Xantar's on top. I'm on top. So height. Sorry. Eight feet up. It's eight feet up. I explained that in the flavor text. So he's 18 feet away. I didn't listen. It's eight feet up. I explained that in the flavor text. So he's 18 feet away. I didn't listen.

It's eight feet up. And then Xantar is right there. Pythagoram. About 15. I'd say 15. Yeah, he's 10 feet away and eight feet up, so you can't hit him. He's got 15 feet of reach. You just said it's eight feet up.

And you're standing five feet away from the roof. Five plus eight is 13. Troy, I'm with you. He has the reach. What do you have standing 5 feet away from the roof 5 plus 8 is 13 Troy I'm with you he has the reach I thought he was 10 we're going to split hairs here doing quick maths I just want to thank my fellow bad girl for going to bat for me

but I think he has the reach I'm using the ruler that's my man right there Sydney I'm sorry we don't trust your math. Yeah. We'll go from basic addition to Pythagoras. Right. Is it not ten? We've moved from simple addition to the Pythagorean

barrel. Is it not ten feet? Am I a steeper? We'll talk about this at home. Time for Furious Claws. Wait, wait, wait. Do you live together? Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to Don't ever correct me in front of the children Four claw attacks against you fucking goombas

Here we go, first claw against Sir Julie 37 No! You're gonna get hit by 27 points of damage. Next attack against Atticus Grimm. Bring it! You want me to bring it? 36!

Bring it! Is that a crit? Oh, that's a crit. Oh! However, that activates my reaction. Yeah! Sir Julie of the Dark! She's still in the game!

She's still in the game! So you get resistance nine against whatever damage he rolls. Okay. And I get an attack. Hoping for a natural 20. Natural one. Oh! How?

How is it possible? Why? How is it possible? How is it possible? Why? How is it possible? Why is it possible? How? How did it happen? This is amazing. Are you kidding me?

Holy shit! This is... It's over. Sydney's gone. Jared and Sydney left. They're going to the green room. Are you using this? Jared is taken.

Matthew's died. All right, everybody calm down. Everybody calm down. Sidney just quit. Sidney just walked off. She's gone. Sidney's gone. She's going to get her abacus from the green room.

Because that'll make it easier? We need an American city. It doesn't have to be American. Let's do an American city. How about... Jacksonville, Florida. Jacksonville, Florida Jacksonville, Florida Is that where you want your doom to come from? I think we deserve it

Because in our game of Pandemic Legacy We always let that city become condemned We actually do We actually do, we're always like What's Jacksonville? We're always like, what's the difference really?'re always like, what's the difference, really? We get swarmed. We're like, hey, somebody's got to die.

We have to save Miami because it's full of wonderful people. All right. Oh, boy, buddy. This is Steven from Norfolk, Virginia. We're still going all the way up to Virginia. Apparently, we love a lot of fans in the south. Hi, Steven. We're still going all the way up to Virginia.

Apparently we don't have a lot of fans in the south. Hi, Steven. I hit my... And then it's a dot, dot, dot. And then an exclamation point. Oh my gosh, she's going to do damage to herself. Through some unfortunate turn of events, you've landed a devastating blow on your own equipment. Count your equipment,

then roll the next closest corresponding die to the size of the list count your equipment I have a great sword, a dagger, a short bow, a crossbow and some full plate armor five? yeah five, so roll a d6

one, I'll re-roll. Six. Wait, why'd you re-roll a one? Oh, because I figured we'd re-roll on one of the numbers. One, great sword. I think that means the great sword. Honestly, I don't get this, but roll a reflex save. All right.

My best save. Natural four. Oh, I mean, it gets us to... Fourteen. I mean, it says hit your equipment for double damage and ignore its hardness.

I hit my sword with my sword. It's really dumb. I would say maybe you hit your sword on the sword. It's really dumb. I would say maybe you hit your sword on the ground. Or you hit your armor. And it shatters it. I mean, it should have the broken condition, but if you're ignoring hardness, that's a ton of damage.

That might full-on destroy the weapon. I have its hit points here, so I can roll for it. Okay. Ignore its hardness. Are you ignoring its hardness? I'm ignoring hardness. Are you? Oh, you rolled low. I rolled low. It's only for it. Okay. Ignore its hardness. I'm ignoring hardness. Are you? Oh, you rolled low. I rolled low. It's only 12 points of damage. It has 36

hit points, so it's not even broken. Wow! Alright, but it's damaged. Heavily damaged. Okay, now you said he gets resistance 9? Yes. It was going to be 46 points of damage. Instead it will be 46 points of damage. Instead, it will be

35 against Atticus. Moving to this side of the table, as I shift the urine to the other side of my pants. You peed your pants? Don't worry about it. Here comes the claw against Ave Maria!

35. Is that a crit? No. Ah, fuck. What's your ace? Oh, no! A 23 AC. Oh!

Oh! 52 points of damage. Oh! Mama likes gags. Last attack against Xantar, king of the zoos. It swipes up at Xantar atop the mausoleum.

Natural one. Ah! Ah! Pick a city, Troy. Pick a city? Oh, how about Boston, Massachusetts? You would. You would.

How dare you? How dare you? We got Mark from Worcester. Mark! Mark, did you make the trip? Mark from Worcester. Hi, Mark. Irish guilt.

Your inept attempt to strike your target makes you question your life. Would your mom be proud of that attack? Would your grandma? Your attack misses. You must then make a will save as you dwell on your failure. And it's against your target's AC. He made it. He's okay. He made it? 28 against 28. He made it. He's okay.

He made it? 28 against 28. He made it. Okay. No effect. No effect. Okay. Success is no effect.

Oh, my God. And that is the Gugster, and the Gug gets within range of all of you, and with its remaining two actions, it does Furious Claws. Now, I can't rend, because that takes an action, and one of you would have needed to be hit by two claws, like it did to Sir Julie last round.

It is now Atticus's turn. Once again, I'll remind you, if you want to use the Awaken action from this ritual, it takes all three of your actions, and it's a will save. Yeah. A heartless. Yeah, I think we're here. To me, it is, I love Yeah, I think we're here. To me, it is... I love this.

I think it's so... I honestly think this is amazing. Right? It is 10,000 times better than the Gug combat of Giant Slayer. Can't even compare. Which was like four Gugs, and we just mowed them down. This is what a Gug should be, which is a nightmare. Like, it is like, ah!

Like, it is going to kill all of you, and there is absolutely no way. There is a way, though, to zoom in on its mouth for the crowd of Atlanta. It is so horrible. Atticus used one of his more powerful spells. He used his full three action casting. It rolled a natural 20. It is so

able to defend against anything he could possibly do. And then he crushed him more than half of his HP in one shot. I'm trying to wake up. Yeah. Atticus is like, and then he crushed him more than half of his HP in one shot. I'm trying to wake up. Yeah.

Atticus is like, I'm out. This is it. So I'm going to try to wake up. I have the DC here. Let me just make sure I wrote it. Okay. Oh my God, it would be so scary to just be like trying to wake up and not able to. Go!

Atticus! No! 22. 22. I lost it. I'm looking for it again. I'm sure it's not 22. 22.

Dreamlands. What the fuck? I just had it. 22, Dreamlands. What the fuck? I just had it. 22? Yeah. It's DC 23! Oh! And I already used my hero point!

Amazing! Oh, no! And you're just standing there like a dummy! It is Xantar, King of the Zoogs' turn. Here he is. Xantar holds the skull. Look at his dummy. He holds the skull under his arm,

and he thinks about how he was trapped in the Dreamlands for many years until his friends reminded him he can just wake up. And he thinks, must get out of this place again. Can't let it hold me here. Must awaken. Three actions. Rolls his will save. And he rolls. Three actions. Roses will save. And he rolls

all together a twenty five! Xantar wakes up! Xantar, king of the zoogs, is back on the material plane. You hope, but you are still sitting here.

Now, one ally down. It is Ave Maria's turn. Ave, what do you do? I have to go. I'm about to die. And she is going to roll her will save to try to wake up, which she's never done before. She's never been here before.

This is all new. Let's see. Oh, yeah. That's a 28. 28. Swamp. Ave Maria wakes up as well. And it's... Look at the two of you!

Here's how this is gonna go. It's Sir Julie's turn. Then it's the John's turn. Then it's the John's turn. If Sir Julie vanishes, Atticus will die. Atticus, by the way, failed that will save. Sir Julie, you are up at the top of this next round. What do you do?

What do you do? You had to miss it by one. Leave him. Leave him. Leave him. Is that what Atticus said? Leave him. Yes.

He's like, go. Run. Leave him! Leave him! Yes. He's like, go! Run! Sir Julie can't run. Oh! Wow. Wow. Matt Lantop! Matt Lantop!

Matt Lantop! Matt Lantop Matt Lanter! Matt Lanter! You see, he's earned that name. Sir Julie is going to first action smite evil. Yes! It doesn't do that much of a dewey, don't worry about it. It's for the show. And then she is going to swing with her greatsword. Oh, I'm no longer enfeebled.

I'm no longer enfeebled. That is going to... 28 to hit. Is it flat-footed? No. Miss. Okay. Last action.

One more swing. You shall not have him, foul beast. Miss. Miss. Awesome. Oh, no. It's the Googs' turn. Listen, I'm not asking for myself.

I'm asking to let them know. What is everyone's hit points at? Are you having fun? Sir Julie is at 34 hit points. Oh, baby. Atticus is at 27 hit points. And neither of you have a bottle cap. Nope. Nope.

Nope. This is awesome. This is why we wake up in the morning. If only we could wake up. Good luck, guys. You know what's cool? For Furious Claws, the Gug makes up to four Claw Strikes, each against a different target. So I'm going to do two on you, two on you.

If they both hit... I don't think you can do that. Each against a different target means you need four targets. Yeah, you're right. Fuck. All right. Boo! All right!

All right, then I'm just going to do some Claws. But I want to rend one of you. I'm going after Atticus. Actually, first claw is going to be against Sir Julie. And that is a 31 to hit. Yes. Awesome. The claws do slashing, right?

Yes, they do. That is going to be only 18 points of damage. 15 points of damage. Still up. Fuck it. Second claw is against you, too. Oh, no. He lied.

He lied. 38. 38. Is that a crit now? That is a critical. Yeah! Nanny 19, baby! So you do four attacks with no attack penalty. No, I've got attack penalty.

It's a plus 19 to hit with the second attack. It is here to kill you. Yeah. And I just rolled on this crit. Before I rend, unless I go after Radicus. I can't even do this math, it's so much. Ask Sydney, she'll help. 56 points of damage.

53 points of damage. 53 points of damage. I'll have you know. All right, now, that's going to take you below, right? Yeah. So that's going to take you straight to dying two, where it was a critical. That is correct. Okay. So you're fucking dead, dude.

Sir Julie has the diehard feat. Oh. You're going to have to try a little harder than that, Mr. Gug. Oh! Are those your dying words? No, I'm unconscious. Final attack is against Atticus. Neon green has been red hot.

You don't want to try and kill Sir Julie? You could do red damage. I'm just going to knock him unconscious and then wail on your corpses. All right. 26. That is a hit. Oh. Yeah, it was worth attacking again.

That is going to be 22 points of damage. He's not down. Atticus, describe to me this scene. Sir Julie, you get like mauled by this thing. You fall to the ground. Do you have any parting words for Atticus? Fly, you fool is it my turn? is it my turn?

there's nothing I can do to this creature but I think to help himself, he will fly, you fool. And he will cast fly on himself. And then rise into the air above this creature. That provokes an attack of opportunity. It has a reaction! I didn't mean it literally!

What a nightmare! You got too cute, O'Brien! You got too cute! Can you just do me a favor and roll your awaken check? Oh, this doesn't fucking matter. Why would you do that? Of course it'll be a fucking high, dude. Yeah, it's an easy awaken on the roll.

Instead, 32 to hit. That is a hit. And you take 21 points of damage. Take it. Yep. We had not established that it had attacks of opportunity.

Nope. He's got four arms. Hindsight! My friend. If I could have flown, I could have rolled wake up checks for hours for like 10 minutes are you unconscious and dying yeah you're dying one

is there anything either of you can do yes there is okay alright then we'll zippity do da to the next round so Julie you're dying, too. First thing you've got to do is roll to see if you improve your situation. Yeah.

So this is going to be DC 12. Flat check DC 12. 10 plus the dying condition. Natural 1. Oh! Wait, is that a critical failure that bumps her to dying 4 or no? It bumps me to dying 4.

You are dying four. I'm still alive. You're still alive, you son of a bitch. What are you going to do? What are you going to possibly do? That's it, right? That's it. Okay.

The gong attacks you. 34 to hit. I'm unconscious and dying. You hit me. You're dying five. I'm dead. You're dead. You hit me. You're dying five. I'm dead. You're dead. Jesus fucking

Christ! I'm so angry! So... So you tried to fly up. You should have left! I was unconscious. Well before that. You flew up like what? Two feet and then just fell back to the grass?

No! I could have dude don't give me that shit I could have gone up in the air and rolled for ten minutes and everything would have worked out fine if it didn't have an AOO and you could have left last round but you stayed I stayed so you could

wake up but you wanted to go flying I mean I could have rolled anything lower than this number, and I'm still there anyway. And yet, you rolled enough. Yeah, but you know what I would roll. Guys, guys, you're both cute. You go to fly up, it grabs you,

and like Bam Bam from the Flintstones, it just... Smashes you, Sir Julie, with you. Sir Julie is dead. It has two more attacks. If it hits on both of these, it will rend. First attack against your fucking corpse. Why are you rolling dice, you moron?

Why are you rolling dice? Why are you rolling dice? Can you tell a story? Maybe it's negative one. 26 to hit. Go fuck yourself. Dying two. Anyone else like watching their GM masturbate to killing them?

Fucking idiot. Then a 30 to hit. Dying three. And then it rends and kills you. What was that dying for? Yeah. He's not dead. Because he has the diehard feet, motherfucker.

You have diehard too? That's right. Diehard. Atticus doesn't go down so easy, even in his dreams. So yeah, anyway, next round, you do it anyway. He's a hearty soul. It's your turn. Fortitude save. DC

14. Flat check. Flat check. Flat check. DC 14. Come on, Joe. Fail, obviously. I can't believe you tried to fly over. I mean, let's just take it back a second. You get there. You're all invisible, as safe as safe can be.

But Sir Julie, with her heightened senses from all those years in the world rune, fighting aberrations such as Guts, sees the telltale signs of two left hands crawling around the building. We should go there. Xantar, being the only sensible member of the group, smashes at the doors to the mausoleum, opening them up, unleashing a thousands-year-old curse on all of you. Some of you save. The Gug saves.

The Gug then goes to Maul Town. But Ave gets out. Xantar gets out with the Skull of Ghoul Royalty. But it mauls and kills both of you. And we will see you real soon. God! So bad! Long live King Gug!

Thank you! Long live King Gug! Doodle Drain! Atlanta! Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glasscannon.