The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 55 – Last Christmas

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

The heroes enter the Dreamlands once more in search of an Ambassador's Heartstone to give to the Mad Poet. This episode was sponsored by Dauntless Snacks. For 10% off your next order, use code GCNNAISH at https://dauntlesssnacks.com/ Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa and Sydney Amanuel as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/avX0xHfyx4E For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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People window shopping on Fifth Avenue All I want for Christmas is you Take it, Matthew. What accent was that? Come on. I want to know. I'm trying to, I was going to yes, Angie, but I was like, I don't know that I can do that voice.

It would just be a letdown. Question, who sings that song and who is the band accompanying that singer? I thought you made up that song and who is the band accompanying that singer i thought you made up that song like you're right in the right headspace here i can't believe first of all i can't believe that's the question because my statement was going to be one of the things impresses me the most about you is that for each of these intros you sing a christmas song that i have never heard in my life you've heard that one it's in many many christmas movies that i have never heard in my life you've you've heard that one it's in many many christmas movies you just it was impossible to discern from whatever weird

accent is there a weird accent spin it was like yeah you were like doing like a norwegian spin i didn't i felt like i was just being me uh that home alone 2 lost in new york that's uh obviously uh very well known from that movie. It's Darlene Love with the E Street Band behind her. Oh, I love the E Street Band. You can't say Christmas without Darlene Love, let me tell you. I assume as a devotee of Christmas music, you have that Phil Spector Christmas album, which has all those amazing tracks, like the Ronettes

and the Darling Love and everything. But then you get to the weird track with the creepy message from Phil Spector that comes on. I have not listened to that, no. I mean, I have all those songs individually, but yeah, I haven't had the creepy Phil Spector voice. Skid, I imagine you're a big Darling Love fan. Didn't she always do Letterman, the final

show before Christmas on Letterman? She'd come out and sing... Never heard that name before in my life. Come on! do Letterman, the final show before Christmas on Letterman. She'd come out and sing. Never heard that name before in my life. Come on! Are you thinking of David Sanborn? No. She did every single I think it was

she would sing Christmas Baby Please Come Home on Letterman every year like the last show before Christmas. And then like the year he retired, she came back. I was like, she's done it for like 15 years or however many years

and we're bringing her back for the last one. You of all people, I'm surprised. I'm surprised. If it didn't happen during the NBC era, I wouldn't know.

It's a marshmallow world. She's in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I'm glad. I tried. I was thinking about you the other day. I was thinking about you the other day because we were... We were in the shower touching yourself. That's so stupid.

Oh, God. That makes me so sick just thinking of it. I was just thinking the other day, I was talking to my wife about Christmas decorations. And when this is all going down, when we're going to put the outside decorations up, because it's it's a bit of a cold snap here for the next seven days or so in in the Northeast. And I was curious if yours are already up. Is your whole house already lit from outside like the house is pretty well decorated on the inside. I've got lights up on the inside all throughout the house. The way we like to do it is we keep the kitchen harvest-y Thanksgiving themed until Black Friday. Then that turns over.

So I've got like six boxes downstairs ready to come up. But I've already brought up six. In terms of outside lights, two days ago on the 15th, as is tradition, I did the lights along our white picket fence. this tradition. I did the lights along our white picket fence. And then this weekend, I will try not to die as I hang them on my house. Because it's, it's pretty scary. I have a ladder that I have to stand on the top rung to get to two spaces. And it's just like rickety. And I always think like, this last year, I was like, if I fall, I'm going to die, not just break my leg, I'm going to die. But it's Christmas. It is so scary.

When I get up, I got this ladder and it's new. And I'm excited about it. I did some gutter cleaning this fall up high and I didn't like it. I was very scared. I'm scared of heights naturally. But when I get up on this thing, I'm like, this is a new ladder. It was not cheap. It's a good, well-made ladder. But really, all that is holding you is like two pieces of metal that are like this thick. I'm like, this is a new ladder. It was not cheap. It's a good, well-made ladder. But really, all that is holding you

is like two pieces of metal that are like this thick. Yeah. And they just, they go into this little slot. And if that thing just gives for any reason, it's just,

shut that! And it's either paralyzed or dead. You know, those are the two options. So it is so, so damn scary. It's very,

very scary. It was easier to take them down than put them up. But I felt like last year, I was going to hire somebody, and the guy came and was like, yeah, we can do it for about $7,000 or more. I remember you saying on stream, you were like, I'm just going to pay somebody to do it.

That is not the holiday spirit. Nicest guy in the world came, gave me an estimate, and it was like $7,000. I was like, yeah, I'll be in touch, because the lights are expensive. And so last year I did it, and a lot of it was just like I can't reach. The ladder is rickety. Now I feel like I've got a system.

So those will go up this weekend. And then we have a giant 20-foot-tall Santa that goes on the lawn. That will probably go up on Sunday. Is that a blow-up, John, or is it like a huge plastic Santa? It's a blow-up, John. You know, it inflates every day at 4.30 p.m. So, like, now it's so dark in Westchester. Every day it's just like.

It deflates. Everything on a timer. Oh my God, I didn't know that's how those worked. Yeah, it's pretty great. You don't want to pay for the electricity all day long. Yeah, no. You see our bill. It's just like in National Lampoon.

It's like spinning the meter. But I was thinking about getting some more blow-ups this year we'll see uh the santa one's a real big hit um but it's so dark there's no street lamps in yorktown or anywhere in westchester the taconic doesn't have a single fucking light on it so i light up the entire grid of the neighborhood because there's just now there's light and it's great i'll walk out there in the middle of night just admire the lights and then run back away from the raccoons. Are the neighbors fans of the blow up Santa or are they scarred by the 430

occurrence? I think that I think they're into it. I mean, who doesn't love a little Christmas cheer? They know we have kids and you know, a lady the other day saw me put it. She's like, wow,

you're hanging those up early. I'm like, yeah, it's for the kids. And then I said, actually it's, it's for me. It's mainly mainly for me i uh i just love it so much please never speak to me again please don't talk to me exactly that's what i say troy have you seen speaking of christmas have you seen the netflix movie falling for christmas yet is that the lindsey lohan one

yeah yeah it's on our to-do list. I've been so deep into Hallmark. I just haven't had time, Skip. There's a new Lindsay Lohan Christmas movie? Yeah, it is. I highly recommend it. No one in the movie wants anything to do with being in this movie. It is so incredible. Everyone there looks like they want to leave.

It's fucking great. Yeah, they're all trying to get into the Christmas movie game to compete with Hallmark and Lifetime. So Netflix has started to dab their toe. Last year they had. They have their toe. They've been deep in it. Are you not a Christmas prince? I didn't like it.

Christmas Prince 2? Christmas Prince 2? I sat through both of them and I wasn't a fan. It just doesn't have the sort of morphine drip that the Hallmark has. The formula and the morphine drip. I watched the one last year with the, what's her name? The comic and the girl. I can't remember.

I'm turning an old man. You know the one with the comic and the girl? The funny man. The funny guy. Anyways. And then they go on a road trip, see? Her and the joke teller go on a road trip, see? Or in the joke tale, I go on a road trip.

The reason I was really into it is it was supposed to take place in Lake Placid, but they didn't actually film it in Lake Placid, and Lake Placid is such a big part of our Christmas tradition, so that's why we watched it. It was good. I was surprised that it was good. Did you get to watch my favorite Christmas movie last year?

Which is? We talked about it on the stream. Let's see how well you pay attention to my Christmas spirit. It's a weird one. I remember. It's not a weird one. It's a best picture winner, Troy.

That's why it's, yeah. Remember you said it, you were like, some like it hot. And we were like, what? That's a good one.

It's the apartment. It's the apartment. I knew it was something like that. It's a really, it's a really long movie. Some like it hot. It had to be something weird. It's not weird. It's the apartment. I knew it was something like that. It's a Billy Walker movie. It had to be something weird. It's not weird.

It's a classic. How's everybody doing tonight? Skid, you look like you're ready to hit up the Playboy mansion after this. I'm good. Well, Troy, you can relate. We have to keep our heating off because it's very loud while this is going on, and it's freezing outside. Actually, the heating system was broken for two days which is like 52 degrees in here

oh it doesn't sound that bad if you're outside if you're inside in your home it's horrible so to shield myself against oncoming hypothermia i have to look like i'm father christmas but skid you are on record as being very pro-robe. I love robes. I'm a big robe guy, so any excuse. But in this case, I actually need it to live. Do you like a robe with nothing underneath, or do you like robe with clothes?

No, I like having clothes on underneath. I like layered roping. Layered roping. You're a layered robist. I'm a layered robist. That's my method. That's my choice. Well-known, well-documented layered robist. Lay layered robist. I'm a layered robist. That's my method of choice. Well-known, well-documented layered robist.

Layered robist. Okay, where do you stand on this whole robe debate? Yeah, I don't want to start, I don't want to open a whole can of worms, but I'll just say for my own personal taste, layered robing is how I choose to live. Okay, you a big robe person? We were waiting for you to speak, Kate.

Would you take us on a tour of your robe collection? I don't wear robes. It's something that I see other people do, like get out the shower and put on a robe while you get ready, and it looks fun. And I'm like, I want to be that person. But then I get a robe, and I'm like, I don't want to fuss with this. I don't know. I have my routine, and it doesn't involve a robe. My husband loves robes.

He's got a robe. He's a robe boy. Big robe guy? Yeah. Robes are a lot of work. I'm not going to lie. I'm going to admit. Let me ask you.

Is it sexy for a guy, and this is for all of us, to wear, like, a silk kimono that ends at the hip and nothing else? Is that a good look? It's good we can have your opinion on this. Oh my god. I imagine you prancing around the house in one of those flowery kimonos. I just like the feel of it on my skin.

Just picture the hair that's coming out from the pants underneath. I do have a robe, and it's a silk robe, and I wear that robe because it does feel good on your skin. Yeah, I like a silk robe. I don't a robe and it's a silk robe and I wear that robe because it does feel good on your skin. Yeah, I like a silk robe. I've never, I don't think I've ever worn a silk robe. I got one for being on a bachelor.

I was a bridesmaid for some, and yeah. And the bridesmaid's dress was silk robes? No, they gave us robes to get ready in so that we get ready and we match and we're all cute. Yes. You know, like vibes. Like vibes? Like vibes, Joe.

God. As many of you know, I enjoy a good hotel room robe, especially when you've been caught in the rain, which has happened, I think, two or three times when we were on the road. And I've worn robes with Skid. You and I wore robes together. I wore robes with France. Yep. And Boston. I'm not a robe guy.

No, I have the same problem with robes that I have with slippers. I don't wear them because they just instantly make me sweat instantly. I just, I can't, it's uncomfortable. A buddy of mine started a company. I think I told you guys about this years ago.

He started a company called sportrobe.com, if you ever want to check it out. Sportrobe.com. What was that name again? It's jerseys as robes. Like every sport, every major athlete, you get the number, the name on the back. It's a robe. And they're pretty legit. My dad had a robe.

It was a silk robe in the 70s and it was the ugliest thing in my memory. It's the ugliest thing I can think of. It was like striped with like black and orange and red. It was like the skin of a psychedelic tiger that caught fire. It was the worst thing I've ever seen. It's burned into my memory.

Do you remember Zubaz? I'm dating ever seen. It's burned into my memory. Do you remember Zubaz? I'm dating myself here. That's what it was like. It was like a robe, a Zubaz robe. Sounds like a Bengals Zubaz robe. It was. That's the closest comparison you could possibly make. Any Zubaz fans in the chat?

I think my dad still has a pair of early Pat the Patriot Zubaz pants. They were so awful. They were so horrible looking. I think my dad still has a pair of like early Pat the Patriot Zubaz pants. Oh, they were so awful. They were so horrible looking. Well, I'm excited to be back. We obviously, we weren't here last week.

And this is the last stream of this show of the year. The next show, which will be the last show of the year for us, is the Philly Show. And there are still some tickets available to that. We just sold out of VIP. So get your tickets. And if you need a little extra incentive, guess who's going to be there? Joe's going to be there. Skid's going to be there.

Matthew's going to be there. I'm going to be there. Cindy's going to be there. And Kate's going to be there in Philly. And Kate's going to be there. Kate was going to be there. Kate's going to be there. She's going to be where? They're going to be in Philly. I actually didn't either.

Wow. It's going to be very exciting. But the there is the problem. It's Philadelphia. That's the, yeah. I made a dinner reservation a year in advance, and they canceled it already. No, it's, if you just don't talk to anybody, it's a good time. Or try to eat in a restaurant.

Yeah, don't do that. Many of the buildings. Excited to go there for the first time. You'll love it. If you just, yeah, picture without people. Picture a neutron bomb going off. It was an Omega Man situation. It's the buildings themselves.

Many of them are quite nice. And quite historical. Kate strikes me as a real American history buff. She is. You can tell. I like architecture. Yeah. Pretty buildings.

Okay. You don't know me. Yeah. I'm just saying. The multi-unstripe is someone who's been like, if I don't see the Constitution before I get out of here, I'm going to lose my mind. It just doesn't seem.

They have the Constitution there? Yeah. you want to see it the original sure sure sure um i hope that i i bet you we just sold a thousand more tickets now that people know kate's coming i'm excited uh we're gonna have a full house i mean that we're at city winery. This is like a, it was like a nice place for us vagrants to be hanging out. Um, so that's going to be a great show. And it's always our favorite show of the year.

We call it the, uh, the Christmas extravaganza. It's really a, really good time. There's ugly sweaters. Uh, I'm,

I'm bringing back the eggnog, I think. Um, hopefully I'll feel better than I did when I came onto stage, but, uh, question. Yeah. Instead of my ugly sweater, the eggnog, I think. Hopefully I'll feel better than I did when I came onto stage. Troy, question. Yeah. Instead of my ugly sweater, which I enjoy wearing very much,

but it does tend to get a little hot. How would you feel if I wore a robe? Is it a Christmas-themed robe? I don't know. I don't have one. I'd have to find a robe. If you get a Christmas-themed robe, I think that's appropriate. Yeah, I already got my outfit. Yeah. I already got my, my outfit.

Yeah. I think I'm, I'm down Matthew. I think it's appropriate to walk out on stage and like, it's not so much a Christmas sweater for a Christmas party as much as it is an outfit for what you'd be wearing Christmas morning. So like pajama pants and a Christmas robe and like a cup of coffee. I think it's legit. I like it real cute.

How about some pajamas under that robe? That's what he just said. Literally what I just said. Oh, well, I didn't know if he was going to do that. You got to go, you got to get the Hannah Andersons. We get the Hannah Andersons for the family every year. They're a little pricey, but they're so nice. Wait a minute, wait a minute, guys.

Why don't we just get pajama grams for all of us? Oh. Matching, like matching set. A matching set of pajamas for the Christmas show. Would be adorable. And we could have stockings across the front of the table. Oh my God.

And we can all have, we can go through our Christmas stockings when we come out on stage. We'll have surprise gifts. We'll do Secret Santa. Do a Secret Santa. Do a Secret Santa on stage.

Oh, that would be so, I don't know about you, but I think you guys are getting in the Christmas spirit. Something just happened here. I actually just got there. I wasn't there at all. And I am fully on.

Like, I just got all Christmassed up. I heard matching pajamas and I was in. It took seven years and I did it. I'm not even joking. Let's do matching pajamas. Oh, my God. I love the secret Santa on stage. Come on. Sydney's in chat right now. She says, I'm going to joking. Let's do matching pajamas. Oh, my God. I love the Secret Santa on stage. Come on.

Sydney's in chat right now. She says, I'm going to make stockings. She'll start knitting stockings. Yes, she will. I bet she will. Yeah. It shows in like two weeks, isn't it? This is phenomenal.

This is great. Well, I'm excited. Please come out. It really is our favorite show of the year year and we've got a lot of fun exciting surprises for that so come on out in the meantime I do want to play Pathfinder but I've got six or seven more announcements if you

watch the State of the Nation you probably heard me talk about how we've got all these growth initiatives we're doing and in order to do that we want to find sponsors for our various shows like the new shows that we did this year we're doing, and in order to do that, we want to find sponsors for our various shows. Like the new shows that we did this year, we want to find sponsors in order to be able to bring those shows back. But we're looking for sponsors just for the network in general to help us kind of achieve all the exciting things we want to achieve.

We want to move into a new studio somewhere in New York and cause money. And like in an ideal world, these sponsors would all be sponsors that are tied in to what we do. But if Trojan or Summer's Eve calls. After tonight's episode, maybe they will. Dosh. Give Pajama Graham a call right now. I'm a Hannah Anderson guy.

I don't cheat. Unless Pajama Graham knows how to now. I'm a Hannah Anderson guy. I don't cheat. Unless Pajama Graham knows how to write Glass Cannon LLC on a check, in which case we'll talk to them. But we do have a sponsor for tonight's episode. Our first sponsor. And this is a company that's owned by a member of the Nash. This is Dauntless Snacks. Look at this. They gave me about 20 of these sticks.

McD sent them over to me. These are meat sticks. We've had these before. They sent them to the office, and we plowed through these in a week, just eating meat sticks. This company is owned and operated not only by a member of the niche, but a Marine vet. Always great to support veteran-owned businesses. Just had Veterans Day recently. And let me tell you something.

Back when I – I'm going to eat the – there's an original one and a jalapeno one. I'm going to eat the jalapeno one while I let you guys – I have not tried the jalapeno one yet. Oh, dude, it's great. I'm saving it for mid-app. Sometimes I need a little pick-me-up. I haven't gotten mine yet, but I've never had a meat stick before. Oh, Kate, let me tell you something.

Back when I was in peak physical condition before I had children and success, when I was working out like a madman doing CrossFit, I could never get enough protein. You know, they say you're supposed to have one gram of protein for every pound you weigh. so if you weigh 200 pounds

you're supposed to eat 200 grams of protein a day and that's fucking hard to do it's really hard you're gonna eat like six chicken breasts for lunch to get that you want to get that pro as they call it and the beauty thing oh my god it so good. It's like what a mongoose eats. Dare I ask who the they in that source is? People who are ripped and shredded, Matthew. See, this is the problem. A vegetarian like Matthew, he needs a meat stick. When you hug Matthew, it leaves an impression like a memory foam pillow because he doesn't get enough protein. But the beauty of this is like you just need a snack during the day.

Instead of eating cookies or chips, you just grab a meat stick. And these Dauntless Snacks meat stick, the jalapeno is really good. It's got like a nice kick, but it's not overpowering if you like too much spice. Anyways, I made fun of Matthew. You should check this out. And they're giving discount. Go to dauntlesssnacks.com. Use the code GCNNASH to get 10% off your order. They got subscription boxes. Maybe you got somebody in your life that likes to pound the pro. Get a little Christmas gift for them. Put some of these in our stockings.

They just gifted a ton of subs in the chat right now, too. Oh, come on. That's awesome. I might get my Secret Santa some Dauntless Snacks. If it's me, please. please so i love meat sticks i really i think that they're a great snack like there's just times when i don't want chips or like pretzels you know what i mean it's like just a great snack sometimes and they're salty you know you get it fills that salty craving with also giving you the protein that you need. Yeah. I've said this many times over the years, but Joe, that is going on your tombstone.

I love meats. I'm getting a really long tombstone cooking here if Matthew's carving it. I just want to say thank you to Dollar Snack, seriously, because they sent us a huge box. It's going to look like the Stanley Cup. They sent us a huge box when they first went into business two and a half years ago. It was around then, I think, about two years they were um they were a member of the nation they were just uh so thankful for i think if memory serves they basically said we started this because of the inspiration of you guys starting a business you know and it was just really awesome and to

have them come up and be like we want to sponsor you after we did the nation it was just awesome so thank you so much i met him too uh out in denver he came to nick shelton's one of nick shelton's stand-up shows and he and nick shelton are hanging out now which is really funny they pounding that pro together yeah yeah yeah it's great great it's a really cool guy and uh yeah and i love i love the meat sticks as well. I mean, so Big D is working chat, and he just posts, pound that proat, and then the link to Dauntless Snacks. I think we have a new tagline for Dauntless Snacks, and we'll give you that for free. Pound that proat. I'm not even joking.

That was so fucking good. Yeah, I love things with jalapeno. Anyways, please check them out. It's just fantastic. We have sponsors now. I guess we should play some Pathfinder. Anything else? Philly tickets.

Kate's going to be on the show. Matthew's. We'll get to that later. Guess what's in the recap recap take it to the recap Kate this is a quick one Kate hit the music yeah got it

alright on it click hit the robe um this is a quick one actually last time god it was forever ago

two weeks ago three weeks ago anyways you finally bid farewell to all of those thralls that you saved from the Razmiran Faith Barge. The Mighty Edgelord and his crew bid farewell as they left to go to this little fishing village to return to their old lives,

or perhaps, in some of their cases, start a new life. Except for one of them, O.J. Simpson, who was convinced to stay and join the crew of the Selen Starling. And I hope Paizo writers are listening and decide to bring the Selen Starling back into an adventure one day and write O.J. Simpson into it. I'm sure they'd like that.

I think that's very likely, is the word I'd use. Did we establish that it's Simpson with a Y or something? Yes. So we're just being clear. O-J-A-Y-S-Y-M-P-S-O-N. OJ. OJ Simpson. Like the OJs, the band.

Right, like the OJs. So OJ's a part of the crew now with all those other weirdos. The only thing that they have in common, which is just very coincidental, is that he refers to himself as the Juice. Right. It's just a coincidence. that they have in common, which is just very coincidental, is that he refers to himself as the Juice. It's just a coincidence. It's Juice like J-O-O-S-E if you're actually describing it. Come on, leave the Juice alone.

So the Juice, he's part of the crew. After that, you continue to journey down the cellen until you saw these three well-dressed people waving at you from the far side of the shore, so you approached cautiously, having been burned

now several times on your journey. And they told you that they were heading in the direction of Taldor, which is where you're heading, but they were attacked and robbed, and now they're seeking safe passage. You feel like they're on the level, so you agree to help. They tell you that their employer is holed up just up

the way in a barn with what little stuff is remaining from the attack on them. So Skywin, your captain, tells the five of you to go investigate to make sure everything's on the up and up. So you go there and you find this handsome fat guy asleep in the hayloft. Turns out it's a man named Emilio Daldamain, the rogue senator that the Grey Gardener was looking for when you stopped in Debril. So you corner him, you're like, ah, yeah, that guy they're looking for. And he tells you he has no idea why the Revolutionary Council wants him dead, but just as he found

out that they were after him, he received this strange missive from some group known as the Stardust Augers, and they say they want to help him out with his predicament and offer him refuge in the Verduran Forest, if he can get

there. So he sends his wife and children ahead separately, knowing that his life is in danger. And he takes his three trusted employees with him to try and get down there. And they were, of course, attacked. So you agree. All right, come on. Come on, fatty. And he decides to come with you.

And just as you're walking back to the boat, the Grey Gardener, Gwower, shows up. Wouldn't you know it. As if it was written into the adventure. Of all days. Random D100 rule. And she shows up with two militia trackers. And it's like, all right, you give me him and we're cool. And you're like, no, fuck that. And so you fight. And we get all, all right, you give me him and you're, we're cool. And you're like,

no, fuck that. And so you fight and we get all the rules right. And you kill her. So now recap done. There it is. Kill the, kill the recap music, Kate. Oh, okay. Got it. So now we pick up, we'll say we'll fade out of that scene as Glower Glauer's, the light goes from her eyes that you can't see behind the mask. We remove the mask. And she's beautiful and dead. She reminds you of your ex-wife. I want, that's weird because of what I'm about to say, but Ethel Merman, I just want to, for the record, dismembers the body and buries the Grey Gardener's

pieces in various spots so they won't be traced back to them. Okay. You guys watch that. And I'll assist, actually. I will. I'll help, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Actually, there's a lot of enthusiasts, a lot of cadaver enthusiasts here. I'll supervise.

Okay. But I'm going to use an alchemical solution to dissolve the pieces of the body as they lay buried in the ground, like kimchi. We get a plastic tub in which to do it. Definitely plastic. Yep. I'm going to try to take her eyeballs in my cloak. She was beautiful. Without you seeing.

She's very disfigured now and buried in several places around the barn. So we fade out of that horrible, horrible scene. You tried to gloss over it and we just turned into all of us sawing into a body. Like a pack of hyenas. The last thing you see is just Eris with the decapitated head of Glauer scooping out the eyeballs. We fade from there. We come back up on the ship. Obviously, the thralls are gone, but now you have Senator

Emilio Daldamain and his three companions. Skywin was happy at the prospect of having them aboard, thinking that maybe they had a little money, but now knowing that they're wanted and conveniently robbed of their riches, she's now

begrudgingly still planning to sleep out under the stars in the hopes that, just like he told you, the senator will be able to make good on his promises to give you all these rewards once he reaches safety. So it's a little more cramped, but certainly not as bad as it was when all those people are on there. There's four new people. Meanwhile, there are still three of the seven gifts that you've been taking to the Dreamlands taking trips to the Dreamlands to try and inquire. There's still three of those seven

gifts out there. You have three and you lost the chance of getting the fourth one. In the research that you've been doing now you have several wise magic users at your disposal seems to be taking you in search of a heart stone belonging to a night hag, this soul trader and ambassador to where from where you don't know,

known as Quiviandra. What do you guys want to do? You want to keep doing your research into this and try and take that trip? Yep. Yeah, I think we said it was tonight or was it tomorrow night? Tomorrow night. I believe.

Yeah, but we still have to do the research. We need to get the phrase. Oh my God, I forgot the most important thing. You guys leveled up at the end of last episode. Leveled up, you say? All right. This is amazing. Is this your first level up in Tui?

Me? We know it's yours. But have we leveled up at all in this book? I don't think we have. I can't remember. I don't remember either. There were a couple shows I was going to level you up, but I forgot. And then months passed, and it was just never the right time.

I think it is the first time. I think it is. Okay. Well, you guys, you earned it. Let's talk about this level up as we do. Joe, sorry to keep you awake. Who wants to start? Matthew, do you want to talk about

Eris's, not Eris, what the fuck's your name? Ethel. Ethel's level up. I wouldn't be able to talk about Eris's, but I can talk about Ethel. That'd be fine. Ethel gets, at this level, Ethel gets a fighter feat and a skill feat.

Ooh! Nice. It is nice. Let's get the skill feat out of the way, because the skill feats... I don't know. There's not a ton of great skill feats for me. Joe recommended one that sounded great where I could just train myself on a new

skill, but I don't have the intelligence for that. You're stupid. I'm stupid. Because you're stupid, Matthew. Because you're stupid, Matthew. Because I'm stupid, I'm sorry. Yes, of course. So I just took battle medicine, which is useful,

and I figured, you know, I've seen some things. Do you have any wisdom? I have a little wisdom. Do you have any? Okay. You're trained in medicine? I'm trained in medicine. Oh, sweet. Wisdom? Do you have a little wisdom? Do you have any? Okay. And I have some, you have, you're trained in medicine.

I'm trained in medicine. Oh, sweet. Um, so yeah, so I took battle medicine. Uh, but then I had two amazing,

like actually spectacular options for a fighter fee. And I'm really, really torn. I think I made my decision, but you know, okay, so, but here's the one I didn't take.

Okay. It's really, it's blind fight. Blind fight in twoe is spectacular. Is it really? Yeah. So here, this is one I didn't take. But Blind Fight, if you're fighting an opponent that's hidden from you,

or you don't need to succeed at a flat check to target concealed creatures, you're not flat-footed to creatures that are hidden from you, unless you're flat-footed for them for reasons other than the hidden condition and you only need to make a successful dc5 flat check to target a hidden creature oh that's great and as you know this was flat checks have been bane of ethel's existence yeah so uh and you know invisible creatures are awful so i was really really torn really, really torn. But then I read about flensing strike. Oh, wow. That sounds good.

I love flensing. That's a great Moby Dick vocab word. Yes, flensing. I'm going to say flensing slice, actually. So this builds on my- That would be great if we go up against any sperm whales. Yes, sperm whales or pro-cuts. Right, you made it weird um so yeah so this builds on my double slice ability uh if i hit with both attacks i flims the target making it bleed and creating

a weak spot target takes 1d8 persistence bleed damage per weapon damage dice of whichever weapon has the higher uh the most damage dice that I'm using and becomes flat footed and its resistances to any physical damage types are reduced by five. Wow. Great. Until my, until my next turn. Wow.

The, but the, yeah, I was like, well, that's cool. I took that. That's,

that's very cool. Yeah. The feats, when you get to these, get to unlock these high level feats, they have, they do sound pretty cool. What about you, Joe?

What's Atticus? Some new spells? Yeah, he's got new spells, 8th-level feat, and 8th-level skill feat. I'm pumped. I am pumped with this level up. So let's start with a bang on the class feat. There's some really good options, but I went with Advanced School Spell, which I think is just awesome for the way that I like to play and my vision of Atticus.

So your Advanced School Spell is you take a feat that unlocks your next focus spell, focus power of not only your class but your school that you took. So I am an illusionist. And so I unlock at 8th level as a focus power invisibility cloak. And so I spend a focus point, and I can just go invisible like a 2nd level spell. And I can recharge that with a 10- rest and i think it's a 10 minute rest and that take two actions or no yeah i believe it would work like the spell so it would take two actions but yeah he can just vanish uh i mean it's just like having a vanish all the time plus

i got another focus point so i can do it twice without having to rest. And I have another thing I think that synergizes well with it, which is linked magical focus for my focus on my magical object that allows me to cast one. I've already cast per day. When I use that, it recharges a focus point. So all these things are loading onto each other to allow me to be really go invisible invisible whenever i want which i think is perfect for an illusionist um that's cool for my uh for my spells i'm not going to say what my spells are they'll come out in in uh when we play did you get a new level of spell i did not uh i was i was already casting fourth level spells i got another fourth level spell slot which is great um and I learned two new fourth level spells. So they're all high level spells that will come out eventually.

Nice. And then, oh, I got a skill feat. And I'm actually really psyched about this one because same thing. I looked at it and I had the fourth level wizard skill feat options or spellcaster options. And I was just like, I don't really like this. I'm never going to use it. And maybe this is something I'll never use, but I was really happy with skill training,

which allows me to take a skill from untrained to trained. And I went with thievery, which I don't think we have a lot of. And it boosted my thievery from a plus four to a plus fourteen. Holy shit! Just making it trained because I got my proficiency

and I have an 18 dex. So, like, it just synergized really well. And so it just gives you a lot more options in a party without a rogue, you know? That's kind of fun. I mean, obviously, with traps and stuff, having that, sometimes you need to be of a certain ilk. But having that bonus is going to help you actually detect it. But what's interesting is, like, in Pathfinder first edition, if you spent a feat on boosting a skill, like that was a big investment because like there's so many spills

as feats that boost stuff that's super useful. Getting that plus 10 to acrobatics is like very specific. You're giving up a dodge and other things like that. Having the skill feed is a nice addition. Yeah, I agree. agree and i and i love the jump it makes such narrative sense to me too not just mechanical sense the jump from untrained to train is massive you know the jump from trained to master is a little bump master to uh or trained to expert is a little bump expert to master is a little bump but the biggest bump is getting your proficiency bonus which is based on your level Going from untrained to trained is huge. That's really interesting.

Just to train to master and master it. That's more about what the kind of tasks that you can unlock by doing that rather than the bonus. Yeah, you're getting better and better. But if you are just untrained at something, you can't do it. No. What about Aldo? I think aldo's due for something juicy or did you take a little dip uh i did not take a dip i actually it's funny i leveled up i think like two months ago because i just i was trying to learn something about how pathfinder works or

something uh so i can't really remember the one thing that i did get i don't think anything too exciting i did get i took toughness uh as a feat nice so my recovery roll instead of 11 plus dying value is 9 plus dying value so um that helps a little bit i i can i took the uh And I took the calculated splash ability, which as a bomber, instead of using the splash damage of whatever bomb I'm throwing, I use my intelligence bonus instead. So instead of plus one or sometimes plus two, it's plus four. Oh, that's huge. Yeah, which is really, really nice. And I can read lips.

I took the lip read. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. That's fun. Especially as this campaign develops. Yeah, there's a lot of cosmic beasts, but there also seems to be a lot of who do you know and nobility. There's an opportunity for some intrigue. That's really cool. Or if you see a Shagoth just whispering to a haunting horror, you'll know what he's saying.

Hey, you owe me 20 bucks. Hey, the 20 bucks for that back alley blowjob. Sorry. That's what this show got. Shagoth was given DJ to the alley? To the hunting horror. Sorry. It's your game.

You're running it. You're running it. It's your world, Troy. It's your game. You're running it. You're running it. It's your world, Troy. It's my world. We're just living in it. We're just playing it. It's my fantasy. Kate, what about Eris?

You had a long run at seventh level, so I'm sure you're ready for this. Yeah, I was really excited to add on more stuff. Because you had already mastered where you were. Honestly, Joe, I heard you say you got a spell and I was like, fuck. Oh, you forgot about spells. I saw it.

And I thought that it was just I got another spell slot for number three. So I was like, oh, okay, I get another spell slot. I didn't realize that I got another spell. But I'll just start with something.

I think you probably get two more. You probably get two new spells. Are you serious? No, I'm pretty sure it's just one. Is it just one for a witch? Anyway, the second you said that, the entire time you guys were talking, I was like, oh, I gotta pick a spell right now. But for the feats, skill feat, I got, like everyone else, a skill and a class feat. I chose quick recognition, so I can recognize spells swiftly.

Any spell using a skill, which i'm a master of as a free action which is a cult oh wow oh great that could be useful um okay and then i for my class when i had to take eldritch nails oh cool so my nails they're already supernaturally long and sharp but they gain like an unarmed attack that deals 1d6 slashing damage just the way they are. And they're in the brawling group. They have agile and unarmed traits. And then I can also etch runes into them.

So I did. I spent a little coin, a little coin that I have, and I etched the striking rune into it. So it actually does 2d6 slashing damage. Nice. Where'd you buy those runes? I don't know. Well, I'm gonna buy them.

Did you stop at the rune store near the barn? I plan on finding a rune store somewhere. Ethel actually dabbles in a little rune selling. I'm kidding. Maybe you sent away. Maybe it took four to six weeks and they're just arriving. They just arrived.

You send in a couple gold pieces and approve a purchase and you go in. You see me in the back of the boat gluing on fake nails on top of my current ones. Lee, press on runes. Press on runes. Lee, press on runes.

But for spells spells so yeah confirmed Kate you get two spells two new spells are you serious okay well I didn't pick out the second one yet but like just off the bat

we'll wait we'll wait we'll wait for you to find the second spell let's take five I'll eat another meat stick but like for the first one just off the bat I was looking through them We'll wait for you to find the second spell. Go on, let's take five. I'll eat another meat stick.

But, like, for the first one, just off the bat, I was looking through them, and Gash's form looks really cool. So the target transforms into a vaporous state. In this state, the target is amorphous and loses any item bonus. But it takes... It gains resistance 8 to physical damage and is immune to precision damage. You can't cast spells, but you can fly and slip through tiny cracks.

So for Aeris, I'm just kind of like, new ways to get into children's bedrooms and then eat them. Yeah, totally. Thematically, it's great for you. It's also a great way to run away, like if you need to run away. Terrific escape spell. Get to places where we're not allowed. So I might take that. For my second spell, I'm just going to pretend like I'm being mysterious

and not telling you. That's just smart. Research it after the session. Don't rush that choice. It's a the session. Don't rush that choice. It's a big choice. Don't pen in gaseous form. Just pencil it in. Pencil. All right. Everyone at home, if you're keeping track,

like a baseball game, just pencil in gaseous form. Fly out to center field. Great. And now, Sydney, text me all your updates and we'll read them aloud yeah Sidney link your character sheet in chat

post it on twitter alright but hurry don't post it on twitter alright so we want to take a little dreamlands excursion ritual so you spend the rest of the day meeting

Amilo and his three buddies and get to know them. They seem cool. They're fine. They kind of keep to themselves. They very graciously accept Skywind's cabin. Skywind's like, you better have money. All of a sudden she sounded like a pirate this guy better have money. All of a sudden, she sounded like a pirate.

This guy better have money, or I'll throw him overboard. And then the next night, you do the dream. Did Greg Gardner have any cool stuff, by the way? Oh, my God, I did have this, yeah. We always forget. Usually, we're live, and a couple cocktails, and we forget to search people. But I did write down the gear.

So the militia trackers had 20 crossbow bolts each, a crossbow. They each had plus one kukris. That's awesome. That's great. Yeah, seriously, Matthew. I'll take one. Oh, actually, I don't think I can use it. Plus one kuk.

I'll take one as a souvenir I actually don't think I can use it. Plus one kook. I'll take one as a souvenir. They make great souvenirs. They make great gifts, actually. Yeah, put it over the mental piece until I settle down. I can carve you a little stand for it. Oh, that'd be lovely. They each had leather armor, and they each had greater trackers goggles.

Very cool. Very cool. Very cool. I just want to remember what those did, because I feel like it was something. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's a bonus to survival checks. It is. To sense direction and track.

And if you fail track, you can try again after 30 minutes instead of an hour. Who cares? But with greater trackers goggles, you get a plus two. You know, it's so funny. All of these goddamn abilities.

I always think that they're cool. I always want to involve them. And in playing Pathfinder for a decade, we have never once had to track a quarry through the desert, through the jungle, through the forest, through the plains, and follow their tracks hours at a time. You know what I mean? It has just never

once come up. And it sounds like a really cool ability. They never indicate any direction that anything went. They're just going in all directions. Every time we look at tracks, there's no indication of where that thing went. Well, you got those stupid goggles. And then the Grey Gardener had a composite longbow, 20 arrows.

Had a, oh man, studded leather armor. A force shield, which you should look that up it's a magical shield I don't know no real shield wielders here but a force shield you basically you can activate it with an action

once per day and it surrounds you with a bubble of force that gives you resistance 5 to physical for one minute. Oh, cool. As long as you're holding the shield. All of us want that. Yeah, she did that.

Actually, I don't even think I had my shield out. But anyways, I had it on my sheet. Things I could have done. Anyways, pretty cool. Force shield. And then Potion of Flying. A religious symbol of Norgorber. Oh, nice.

Which I used to call him Knob Gobbler. Knob Gobbler, you actually do. Back when we played the Pathfinder Adventure Card game. And here's the best one. I think this is right up Ethel's alley. A plus two striking short sword oh come on with this

that is an unbelievable upgrade Ethel what do you have you're a two weapon guy right what are your two weapons I have a plus one striking warhammer and a plus one striking returning hatchet oh right get rid of that shitty striking warhammer, and a plus one striking returning hatchet. Oh, wait.

Get rid of that shitty, shitty warhammer. I believe the striking is actually transmuted via my rings. So you have these doubling rings. So basically you wear a ring on each hand, and basically any rune or property you have on one weapon can be doubled in the other hand. Oh, that's cool. Oh, that's cool. It's very cool.

You know those rings that are like doubling rings? So what was it, a plus two striking short sword? Plus two striking short, John. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That's really nice.

How about, Ethel, you take the big sword and I'll take one of the little tiny swords. You want the kukri? Can I have one of the kukris, please? The kukris.

Did you add another syllable to that? Kukri. Do you want me to, like, whittle you a little stand for you to put it on your mantle when you're not using it?

Yes. You know, I do have a shrine, for you to put it on your mantle when you're not using it? Yes. You know, I do have a shrine, which I have not set up on the ship yet for when I do my little rituals. So, like, if you make me a little stand for my kukri, yeah, I'll put it in my shrine. Awesome. I'll do this for you.

We just got to find the wood, and then find a good, like, a nice ash, and I'll make a thing. It'll be beautiful. Awesome. I'm so excited. And so the heroes. Oh my god. The force shield is

amazing. Yeah, I want it. For no one in this party. It's pretty good for Ethel, right? Well, yeah, but like, you know, you're kind of designed around your two-weapon fighting. Do you know that I don't think with the force shield you need a free hand, right? It is a shield. It's a shield.

Oh, it's an actual shield. It's a magical shield that has this once a day ability. Skywin says, I don't want any long bows on my ship. And she snaps it over her knee and throws it in the water. I put that on my sheet in anticipation of winning the roll off. The only reason I did that is because Sydney wrote, I hope someone remembers that I use a bow. No composite longbows on my

ship! It's like Joan Crawford. More wire. No wires! Hi, guys! Does anyone want this religious symbol? Take it.

Thanks. It's all about you. Of course. What does the symbol of Norgorber look like? Norgorber. He's a Talden deity. Did you know that? The Talden deity of thievery and assassination.

Oh, cool. That's cool. It's a weird card to be a fan of. For this person to have a symbol of? Yeah, that's like, it's the patron god of assassins, like the Red Mantis assassins, I think, or Norgorber worshippers. Yeah, I mean, she actually,

she's like an executioner, essentially. Yeah, yeah. And the symbol is a one-eyed mask. It's a Bloonor Gerber. It's like a black mask with one starry eye. Well, this is interesting. The short sword actually is not a huge upgrade, even at plus two.

Wow. But the biggest thing it's going for is that it's agile, which it actually did. Oh, that's big. That is very big. That's better than your warhammer. Oh, well, I for it is that it's agile. Yeah. Oh, that's big. That is very big. That's better than your Warhammer. Oh, well, my hatchet is also agile. Oh.

Tricky. Oh, is it an agile Warhammer? Is that what you said? No, it's an agile hatchet. Well, you should switch out. So it's just a plus one. That's all it is. So if you want, you could just sell it. We could just sell it.

I'll hold on to it for now, but when we get to town, I'll consider selling it and adding it. Group gold. Alright, can we add it to a list? Is anybody keeping a list right now? I have it on my sheet. You should keep a list. I can't keep it. I'm running the show. I'm running the whole fucking tech.

Come on, somebody do a list. I'll email the stuff to you guys. Don't forget that potion of flying. Yeah, that's really valuable. I would give that to Ethel. Or I was going to call you Alfonso.

Remember SideQuest? SideQuest. Or to Aldo. I think Aldo would be pretty cool it would be cool if Suki was a dinosaur that could also fly

what do you think Suki yes that would be a great idea that would be a great idea oh my dress fell off again. Whoops. Whoops. I'm naked again from the back inside in a tasteful way. No, she wears pajamas under her robes.

Okay. She's a layered robist. She's an unlayered robist. I'm looking at the chat, which I know I'm not supposed to do, but also in the core rulebook, page 580, apparently you can transfer runes. Oh, yeah. Oh, totally.

God, I didn't even think of that. Tell me more about that. Yeah, you can totally do that. I'll look into it, and then maybe I'll be able to transfer one of the plus two rune to my warhammer. Yeah, that's cool. And then you could give one of the... Wait, are they actually...

Are both of your existing weapons have runes on them, or they just functionally have runes on them? Yeah, like is one of them mundane when it comes out of your grasp? I have to look. I can't remember what I decided. I wanna be your war hammer. Because you could give one of the plus one runes to Kate

for fingernails. Yes, so my my hatchet is actually not plus one or striking. It's just a returning hatchet but by virtue of my rings, it becomes plus one striking, I guess. All right.

Well, I'm 90% sure you're doing something wrong, so I'm sure we'll find out. I'm reading the book right now. Oh. I'm reading the book. Let's read Count Lyle's books to learn more about this next gift

you've been reading about this ambassador's heart stone you know that Lyle sought the heart stone a very specific hag this ambassador and soul trader named Quiviandra you learn about the normal properties of a night hag's heart stone. All these night hags,

they have these heart stones. And you know what? I think I told you that, that you learn what the properties are, but I never actually told you what the properties are. Each heart stone is powered by the spirit of a specific night hag. If it's separated from her for 24 hours, or if she's been dead for 24 hours,

it becomes a non-magical gemstone. A heart stone allows the hag to use additional occult innate spells, such as ethereal jaunt, bind soul, and shadow blast. And with the nighthag's Heartstone it retains its magical properties for a month outside of her possession, not only a day which for you guys is great

because when you're holding onto it once you get back to the Dreamlands you could use those powers should you get it from her you found a register of extraplanar diplomats listing Quiviandra as an ambassador to the city of Dylothleen, which is a grim city of basalt

and one of the Dreamlands' most notorious havens for vice. And according to a diary brimming with spiteful rumors, Quiviandra has an unnecessarily large retinue of retainers and an insufferably impervious

manner. And you remember seeing a night hag that matched this description while you were traversing the Caravanserai during your first trip to the Dreamlands. So, you enact the ritual.

You pass the staircase around hoping that it will work staircase goes from one hand to another growing, growing as it reaches the third set of hands growing even more as it reaches the fourth you already said goodbye to Xantar and Suki because they ate some bad fish and they're not feeling well

and they said you go our ability because our ability to improv reasons they don't go is really poor really bad they're always just sick they're sick

there's a lot of fish that you're eating they had some bad ones no matter how tolerant they are doesn't mean they can't make you sick right an intolerant one must have slipped in there must have slipped in there I've had intolerant fish

I actually would love to do like how long does it take for them to do the research Troy well you've been doing it for about a week and you're ready to enact a ritual do you want a flashback so the I would love a flashback the so it's a crafting check it's a crafting check to slow down

since you got the rune it been like a day right like it it's one day of research right since the encounter it's not day of research, right? Since the encounter. It's not like we got this rune a week ago. It's not like it's been a week since that encounter.

Takes one day. Perfect. Yeah, you're good. I'm looking at it. The only thing I'm having trouble finding is the DC. So it does cost money. I'm going to need to borrow it. I'll set it. 40.

It's the DC of the crafting check to transfer is determined by the item level of the rune being transferred. So, that's all it says. Well, the item level of the rune is pretty obvious. What's the level of the rune? Uh, plus two...

A weapon potency plus two is item level ten. Right, so then Troy would just... It's based on the, like, level ten things all have a DC. Like, level ten has a DC in 2A. It's in the game mastery part. Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

I don't know what it is either off the top of my head. Level-based DCs for ten is DC 27. That sounds dead on. I'm going to wait a minute then because I only have a plus 10 to my crafting skill and perhaps we can find someone who can help us. You could use a hero point.

Could use a hero point. I might need that hero point though. Are you willing to die for your rune? As you're trying to craft that, Skywind comes over and says, No runes on my ship! I mean, she's truly a badass if she just broke a rune over her knee. She just Bo Jackson'd a rune?

She just Bo Jackson'd a rune. And then we come back to the handing of the staircase. And the last one that touches it is Aldo. He's the most wise. And the staircase is just huge in your hands. And you let it fall to the floor. There's a staircase leading down yet again into the sea. You walk down. Oh no!

Is Eris gonna pass? Is this how it always is? It seems like you're walking into the sea. But really you're just walking into darkness that feels like you'd be going into water. He looks. He can see the trepidation in her face. It is only an illusion.

Don't believe it. We are not walking into water. In fact, we are escaping the water. Just close your eyes a few months. Okay. Closing my eyes, because I don't believe that. That doesn't make any sense to me. Okay. And you can also tell her that these madnesses

do not take hold of you when you're in the dreamlands. So Ethel will not be fatigued. Atticus will not have his cognitive dissonance. And Harris will not have her insufferable fear of water. Phasalophobia. Phasalophobia? It's the last of phobia. It's likealassophobia. It's like made up of Greek words.

I should be able to say this. It's a fear of deep water and like big water. I have it. Like Caitlin has it. In real life? Yeah. Too big water?

Did I ever tell you my... You said Caitlin has it and my wife also does not love deep ocean settings. Did I ever tell you my deep water fear story? It's very quick. You didn't tell me it, but I heard it on one of the podcasts. I knew we talked about it at some point.

And I was like, listening to... I have no fear of this stuff. Water doesn't bother me at all. I can swim. I can swim. What does it matter how deep the water is? I can swim. I got off this boat in the middle of, I think it was Bermuda.

Oh, no, it was in Hawaii. And we were snorkeling, and they drove us out to this island. And halfway between the main island and this other island we went to, they were like, all right, we're just going to get out here so you can look at how deep this is. And I was like, awesome. Like, didn't even think. And I got out, and you're floating there.

And they just dropped a coin down. And it was so clear.. Like, didn't even think. And I got out and you're floating there and they just dropped a coin down and it was so clear and the sun was shining. And I could see that coin drop for no exaggeration, like more than 60 seconds. Solid. Horrible. And then I started to feel this overwhelming sense of like this maw below me, like this infinite sort of abyss that could just pull me in. And I was like, okay, I got to get out. I got to get out. It was really weird mental reaction that I had to it.

It's very, very strange to me. It's your like lizard brain instincts of like, ah. I started seeing the size of it and the depth, and I just got really weirded out and I had to get out. It's like standing on the edge of a cliff or something. Yeah. It's so horrifying to me. Did being on the boat

alleviate that? Yeah, as soon as I got on the boat I was fine. I don't know. It was just in that moment, it's like something clicked about how really unknowable this is, right? Like how... It was really scary. It was really scary.

Was it in Raleigh Cthulhu Sleeps? Or whatever. Relay. Relay. Oh, yeah. Relay. Relay. Um, staircase. You guys walk down. As usual,

as you start to walk down, you look behind you, and the boat is no longer there. It's just stairs going down. You look you don't even see your companions traveling with you. Once you enter that staircase you enter this extra dimensional space. This pathway

between planes of awake and asleep. Your bodies remain behind on the boat to be diddled by weird crew members. Aww. As you start to continue down,

you start to smell smoke. Smoke that is like fruit-scented and spice, like a very strong, pungent spice smells. In fact, that haze begins to cloud your vision as you continue downward and to eventually find yourself walking downstairs into a spacious, round room. There's a vaulted ceiling above you that's barely visible in this haze of blue, mostly blue, but multicolored smoke. There's soft, round couches covering the floor with

several golden braziers, these ornate hookahs, small little tables covered in all sorts of things. You see the wall around you just curves, and every so often there's a curtained area behind it that you can't see, and then more wall, and then another curtained area, like these small little alcoves hidden from the main room. You look around, and there are people all over the place, several different ancestries, all basically humanoid. In fact, it's mostly populated by these sullen-looking humans that are relaxing in this common room

and partaking in all sorts of recreational drugs. You see three or four scantily clad men and women circulating the room, just politely selling these insidious substances to the patrons, like, what about this?

And they'll give some money and then be handed something, and maybe they'll teach them how to smoke it or insert it. Let's go to the map real quick. Let's go to the Dave M map with new pawns by Angeline! Oh, Angeline!

So Atticus is unchanged, but we have a new Aldo complete Aldo has Warner on his neck oh that's awesome hold on you gotta you put Aldo up again I want everybody to see it

on stream oh wow that's awesome and disgusting they sent these to me this morning. I was like, this is perfect, Adelaide. So, new Aldo, and then new Eris. Or Eris, actually. Whoa, that is way creepier than I originally imagined Eris.

Look at my poppet. Look at the little poppet. And of course, the neck, mouth, and chicken hands. I like the blue tongue. Look at the little poppet. And of course, the neck, mouth, and chicken hands. I like the blue tongue. Yeah, the blue tongue. And of course, the neck, mouth, and chicken hands. And then this one is a sneaky favorite here. Oh, wow.

That's a merman. Amazing. Amazing. Wow, that is phenomenal. You look like Rusty Venture's dad from Venture Brothers. He's going mountain climbing. That's what it looks like. I love that.

Isn't that great? I have Suki, too. Bravo, Angeline. Seriously. So, as you're taking this all in, and, you know, as usual, you have to imagine this, the map is much larger than what we're actually seeing. You're seeing about a quarter of the room. If it's a big, wide circle, this common area, these alcoves are all around this circle near the staircase.

And there are these little setups with people milling about all over. But standing out amongst the crowd in front of you is a rather commanding presence, surrounded by a decent-sized retinue. You see laying on a mahogany and velvet divan a red-skinned woman with elaborately coiffed hair in a curvaceous form draped in expensive and partially see-through

fabrics. She also has like two ram's horns coming out of her head. In fact, one of the attendants is like oiling the horns so that they glimmer in the blue light of the room.

There's a lot going on in here, but it's a very chill atmosphere because of the drugs. And she notices you immediately as you step into the room because you don't look like anyone else there and you seem to have your bearings about you. Also, I imagine Eris's neck mouth gains a lot of attention wherever you go to have your bearings about you. Also, I imagine Eris's neck mouth gains a lot of attention wherever you go. It's not always visible.

I have my cloak on. Oh, so maybe she doesn't see it, but she senses it. She maybe motions to one of the people near her, whispers in her ear, and then that woman scurries over to you. It's a tiefling woman, in fact.

Comes up to Atticus and says, Ambassador, how does she talk? Ambassador Quiviandra has noticed you and requests the pleasure of an introduction. Oh, then we shall not keep her waiting. Thank you so much. And she walks back to the couch. I'm glad Atticus knew these traditions.

Right. When in Dilothleen, you walk over. I forgot to pull the image of her, but the pawn that I stole off the internet is pretty accurate. Just look. I don't want to zoom into it because I just grabbed it off Google. But she's got those ram horns, red skin. I'll try and get an image up when you guys start role playing. But she brings

you over and there's all these people all around her. And she just kind of disperses them. Leave us! And the crowd that's like really really close to her moves away. She's like, come, come closer.

I can tell. Yes, what do you say? I was just going to say, wait, come closer. I can tell. Yes, what do you say? I was just going to say, when we come closer. I didn't know if you were waiting. Do you come closer? Stalling to think of what to say. Good evening, friends. I can tell by your wide-eyed looks and general comportment that you are strangers here to Dylathleen.

You are also not the sort of dissolute addicts otherwise prevalent in this den. Where are you from? where are you from that is a complicated question we have all the time in the world my friend please regale me with tales of your

homeland or world well Aldo sort of looks around and says, I'm from somewhere very far away. A southern land, a great continent full of deserts, rainforest jungles and strange creatures.

Oh. Sounds magnificent, I do, and from far away, many of these people are. And what about you, rat person? Oh, we have that in common, Aldo, Casimir and I. Also from the desert I was born, in the warrens beneath a great city called Candira. Oh, Candira, yes. I have heard of such a place, though have never visited.

And you, young lady, you have a strange look in your eye. West do you hail? West do you hail? West, do you hail? West? Such a strange accent. This is the part when we'd be hanging out in Troy's apartment when he would do that. We'd be like, You are such a fucking

geek! And then someone would punch him in the arm as hard as he could. Oh, guys, I'm in role play. Guys, I'm just role playing with my friends. You asked me to run this game. She talks different, see? What he would do is find the image of the character

and just hold up the image in front of his face and do that for us. Yes, yes. He would actually do that. Creepy. That's true. Oh, God. Or do a gun high.

That's right. Oh, my God. On the edge of the world. Where else do you hail, woman? Woman? Oh. I'm from the Manor Wastelands. Oh, that sounds like a delightful place.

Yeah. Do they have any available real estate? Um, I mean, I guess so. It's not really, like, a hot market. Um... A cold weather place? Very variable

weather. You never know what's gonna happen day to day. It's a wild place. It sounds lovely. And you, young man, oh, you are a strapping son of a gun, aren't you? What's your story? Well, to begin with, I was born in the River Kingdoms.

Ah, yes. We moved around a lot. You know, Dad was looking for work. Mom was looking for work. It was just one of those things. Is that all you need to know, or do you want me to go on? No, that's enough. It's more than I wanted.

All right, well, excuse me. I found a picture of myself. There I am. Oh! Hold on. I'm a pirate. Hello. Oh, hold on. Elvira hair. Hello.

Oh, wow. She kind of looks like B Arthur with ram horns. And she told me that I looked different and weird. My eyes looked weird. Yes. Yeah. I can't help but know she doesn't have any irises.

Weird. Recognize weird. I see some dots in there. Those are people. She looks like Agra from Dark Crystal a little bit, with the horns and the hair. Like Bride of Frankenstein hair. Yeah. Anyways, I am an ambassador here in Dylathlin.

You may call me Quiviandra. So, we know where you're from. Why are you here? Are you here to partake in some of the delicious vices we have here in this den? Just maybe, but what kind of vices do you have available? Is there a menu of some kind? Yes, there is.

Flayleaf, of course, is very popular. Or if you are into the harder stuff, perhaps you could try shiver. Make your hair stand up, and I don't mean the ones on your head. Ethel looks around just to see if we're going to be partaking. No, I'm afraid that at the moment

we are a bit out of our league in that respect. Yeah, we're on the job, you see. Yes, indeed. We are working as it were. We seek a powerful gift. A powerful gift? A powerful gift?

A hearthstone. She pauses. A hearthstone, you say? If you have come to attempt to kill me like the others, then I can't

imagine you'd be so bold as to just ask about it. No, in fact, there is no desire on our part at all. Is it? That's just what a killer would say. Do I look like a killer? So small, So ineffective. I've been told this my whole life.

No, we come begging. We are humble in your very presence. We are afraid this hearthstone is something that we so desperately need to save our own lives. Is there any way?

Why would it save your lives? Explain to me why you seek this. We came under the power of a count, a man who took us in and proceeded to annihilate our minds, even giving us a level of amnesia that is only now just beginning to wear off. And as a part of it, we remembered him oh so vaguely. Do you possibly have any memory of a human man, a noble, moving through these paths? This is a quick question. Is this something that, like, do the Dreamlands just, like, repeat and ship?

Like, do people, would people not remember someone coming and killing them and taking their item? Do they just, like, revive? Like, do we know how it would work here? I think you've done enough study at this point to know about the Dreamlands without having to roll dice. enough study at this point to know about the dreamlands without having to roll dice um uh no it isn't like a repetitive cycle but time does move strangely like you could uh take a trip somewhere come back go back the next day and years could have passed um so time does move so knowing that there's a chance that uh you know, if Laos did come here, he came here years ago or, like, days ago. Like, it's just there's no way of really knowing because of the way time flows.

But when you mention that, do I actually see a human noble? She says, says no not particularly but in the past few weeks I have been the target of several assassination attempts perhaps this noble was involved

poisoned food delivery of a cursed robe are you robists by any way? Well, rather a personal question, but I am in fact a layered robist. I was given a cursed robe as

an anonymous gift. Luckily I snuffed it out. But then there was an ambush where they succeeded in stealing my heart stone, but not killing me. No, in fact I laid to waste the entire group except for the one that got

away with my jewel. Perhaps this noble you seek was behind these attempts on my life. Very possibly. And it is he we seek. And believe me, if we find him, we have no intentions of allying with him at all.

This could be a great revenge for you. If you could tell us more details of who this was that took it, describe this person, and perhaps we could track them down. I have sent my best out to try and find this creature. By all accounts, it was some mercenary who is now lost to the wind. But I do believe I may still be able to help you because, you see, I have replaced my original heartstone

with a new one for someone in my line of work can never be without this very special gift. And I would even perhaps be open to giving it to you

if you could help me with another problem of mine. Come closer. Is that the thing you need help with? Yes, I need you to come. I can't hear very well. Done and done.

There, I'm as close as I can get. If you'd hand it over, please. And here is the heart stone. Thank you very much. Well, that by far was the easiest. That was not so difficult. We were all awake. I was expecting something quite a bit more difficult.

Come closer. I don't want everyone to hear this. Perhaps this count, this man you seek, was behind these assassinations. But either way, I believe someone in my retinue is responsible. But either way, I believe someone in my retinue is responsible. Perhaps they fed my location to this man.

Perhaps they have their own reasons for wanting me out of the picture. As you can see, my retinue is rather large. And you look around, there's just like almost two dozen people. but i have been using my powers to figure out who is the one and i've narrowed it down to three there is this miserly steward named amanetta there's an astrologer and fortune teller named doeth. What is so funny? Did you laugh at the name Dolfeth? Could you spell that? I don't want to be offensive, but sometimes people have a lisp,

and then you don't know if it's actually with a D-H or if it's just an S. Dolfeth. D-O-L. D-O-L.-O-L Feth It's interesting It's a similar conundrum with the Aerith Aerith thing In Final Fantasy which we have here

Our friend named Aerith So very ironic that this is coming up again D-O-L T-H-E-T-H Dol Feth Is also a musician in my ploy employee named Kavriki anyway I have a

private room right over there she points with her long finger at the I'll ping it on the map here over there take them one by one interview them

snuff out the assassin and inform me and the heart stone is yours no questions asked uh clarifying question quiet you'll keep your voice down clarifying question how do you chunk of man

uh I think that's a compliment So thank you He's going to be single Rather soon Actually the paperwork's been signed I am single Oh congratulations Thank you it was a dark day

We don't need to get into it Single you say Have you ever made love On a nightmare It was a dark day. We don't need to get into it, but, you know, the result. Single, you say? Have you ever made love on a nightmare? Well, let me ask you. He should meet his ex-wife. Question answers itself. Have you ever looked into the eyes of another person

and you know, you know in your heart that they are your soulmate? You know it. And yet they want your soulmate. You know it. And yet they want nothing to do with you? Yes. That, that is the nightmare, my friend. You've sent shivers down my red spine. Anyway, I just wanted you to define... Stop yelling! Sorry.

I wanted you to define Snuff Out. Like, can I just kill them? I want you to find out who they are. Don't worry, I will be taking care of them. Find out which one of them is the bad duck in my troop.

The bad duck in my troop. As the saying goes. It's not a local expression. It's a dialogue lean expression. Find out which one is the bad duck in my team. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard this. I'm a bad duck in my team. And then tell me, and I will take care of them.

Do not let them know why you are questioning them, but they will follow my commands. So question them, but don't let them know we're questioning them. Perhaps they are being hired. Perhaps they're being promoted. Considered for promotion. We need to do an interview.

He looks around. Don't, Veth. Sorry, I was so wrapped up trying to understand what you were saying. Don't, Veth, I was so wrapped up trying to understand what you were saying. Don't fit. I forgot what his station was again. He is an astrologer. Astrologer.

Maybe, maybe, I'm sorry, maybe we're a consulting group that you've brought in to do the interview and you know thin the herd so to speak we're like the headhunters

we're like a headhunter consulting group here to help you deal with your staffing and promotional needs we'll tell them that we're about to go hardcore and they can either agree to that or they can get three months severance.

They'll definitely choose the former. Yeah, they'll all have to fall in line and agree. I'm sure that won't backfire at all. There's no downside to this. If you're just mean to people enough, they'll let you be mean to them. I like this plan. Just be cool. Like I said before

this stream, I'm sure defensiveness is just a corporate strategy, apparently. That's true. Why don't we at first give them all little blue checkmark badges? I don't understand.

We can walk in with a kitchen sink. And then take them away. And then take away their food. And then... Do you want this bag? Listen, whatever method you employ, be discreet. And when you're done, come to me. Who would you like to speak with first, Amanetta?

Dilth, Doltheth, or Kavriki? Come to me. Who would you like to speak with first? Amanita? Delth? Doltheth? Or Kavriki? We'll go in reverse alphabetical order. To be fair. Kavriki. You want to speak to Kavriki? Yes.

All right. Kavriki, hey! While you're, like, grabbing her, I turn to you guys and I'm like, so guys, listen. I usually only use this on children, but my puppet can help me make a good impression on people sometimes. So I just wanted to let you know, don't be freaked out if I involve Egg. Great. Puppet's name is Egg? Yeah. Egg? It's good involve Egg. Great. Robert's name is Egg? Yeah. Egg? It's good to know.

Good. Yes. Doesn't sound horrifying at all. Listen. Everyone should be moved near her and I'll move everyone else away. Is it time, Joe? I already started. It was delicious. It is delicious.

My dauntless snack. and somebody in chat was like is he snapping a slim jib snapping a slim john alright so you guys are sponsored the stream member of the niche support him you guys are all around here

and uh this uh woman comes over round Quiviandra here. And she's like, hi, Kavriki! And this woman comes over. Kavriki. She says, yes, my mistress. Go with these men and women

into my private chambers. They are doing some work for their consultants. Well, they'll explain to you why they need to speak with you. And Kavariki bows with her lute and begins walking in that direction. Do you guys just follow? Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. I will open up the me app a little bit here. Do a little reveal of me. A little reveal Zaloni. And you guys can place yourselves in that private room back here. Unless you don't have access to your pawns. Do you use this app? Do I not have access to my pawn?

It's possible. Right, you just click it. Yeah, no, I don't have access to it. Okay, I'll try and fix that. In the meantime, I'll move you in. I'm there in spirit. You're there. And so, let me see.

So, you want to speak to Kavriki. She says, yes, hello. I imagine I am to delight all of you with a song. Alas, Christmas, I gave you

my heart. Please, please. As beautiful as your voice and that song is, we have other more urgent business. Give you my heart. Peace. Peace. What? You do not want to hear my song? As beautiful as your voice and that song is, we have other more urgent business. Do you not like my music? Should I kill myself? Oh, I love it.

No, no. Well, that work? Well, we're not really interviewing you for like your professional skills. It's more like soft skills. So we're going to ask like, what are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Yeah, Kate has been on several job interviews

in the last couple of weeks. We should let her take the lead on that. She is super fresh. Honestly, Kate, you take it, but I just want to make it clear to all the listeners and to chat that the character that is saying this and speaking this way

has chicken hands and a neck mouth. You don't see the neck mouth and it's not immediately obvious. You know? It's just maybe something's off about her. So she's wearing a turtleneck. She's got a cloak on that ties right around her neck. And it's a long cloak.

I just wanted to make sure everyone had the right image. Go on. We're going to do some ice breakers with chicken hands. Can you just maybe give me a brief... What do you mean by soft skills? I do not understand. Can you just maybe give me a brief, like, you know,

tell me about yourself and why it is you want to work here. Well, I do work here. I am the musician for Covillandre. I am the musician for Covillandre. I play many songs for her whenever she asks. I am a master of Christmas songs. I can play anything on my lute. Name a song and I will play it for you.

Stairway to Heaven. Oh, I don't know that one. Mbop? Mbop. I've also never heard of that one. Everyone, literally everyone knows Mbop. It is a very simple chord progression. I am ashamed. I must kill myself.

Please, you've said this one too many times. It is the way of Dylathleen. Are you happy here working for your mistress? Oh, very much so. She is a very giving and

kind mistress, and I do all that I can to delight her and her retinue and her guests some of which are very high society important people How do you feel your performances have been

lately? They're alright Do you think that she is in your you are in her good favour? I'm a bit of a perfectionist I feel like I can always do better but I have been trying my best to learn new songs

would you like to hear Last Christmas once more no that's what I just learned we don't need it at the moment are you from Galt from where Galt have you ever moment. Are you from Galt? From where?

Galt. Have you ever heard of the nation of Galt? No, I have not. I am from Dairathleen. I was raised in places such as this. You are not familiar with the area? No, we are visitors. In fact, our consultancy is based very much so on not being from here and offering a new perspective. It's how we say not biased.

Ah, yes. Outside consultants. Many people such as myself. It's a kid. It's just like the... Outside. Many people such as myself, we grew up here in Dylathleen,

grew up in and around the Vice Dens. Many of us are the unwanted children of the people who have come seeking pleasure and forgot about what they left behind. I am one such creature. That is why I do my best to try and uplift the spirits of this place. I'm sorry.

Did you say unwanted children? Yes, Darlene is full of unwanted children roaming the streets, and hopefully they too will find a place. What are your vices? There's a movement underneath the cloak. Yeah, as her neck mouth starts to quiver. Ethel lurches forward and is like, what are your vices?

I, I, I, I, I smoke. You smoke? What do you smoke? What, I smoke. You smoke? What do you smoke? What do you smoke? Yes, I... You're hitting the doobie? I'm mostly Parliament lights. I, it was...

It's like a session. I, I, they told me not to, but I am, how you say, the bad duck of my troop. How you say, the bad duck of my troop. Do you ever get a chance to travel far from the chambers here? Where do you make your home? I go wherever my mistress needs me. I live, we are always on the move as she is an ambassador. Are you not familiar where she is from? at her.

Are you not familiar where she is from? No. She asked us all where we were from, but was not so interested in sharing her own experiences. And we didn't want to pry. Then it is not for me to say either, for I am but a simple musician.

Does everyone know her intimate secrets of where she is from, etc., as much as you do? The steward, Amanetta, I believe she knows much of our mistress's movements. She's always talking about things that I wonder, how does she know? How does she know these things? And what do you think of Amanetta as a person and servant to your lady? She has always been very kind to me, but very nosy, if you catch my drift. Why are you trying to get Amanetta fired?

I am not. I am just telling you, um, I was just answering your question about Amanetta. I appreciate the honesty, indeed. She is the tiefling that is in our group. Have you had any exchanges with Dolpheth? Dolpheth? No, I do not believe in

astrology and the stars. She's gonna say, no, I do not believe in Dolphin. We've been assured that he exists. We've never seen him. It's funny. No, yes, no, he does not exist. I am not a child

to believe in this Dolphin. All right. so at this point I'd like to roll a perception just to get a sense of sense motive. Yeah, sense motive. How about that?

You guys can mix and match if you want. What is it? Well, there is no sense motive anymore. There is, but it uses perception. You guys can mix and match if you want. Isn't it? What is it? Well, there is no sense motive anymore. There is, but it uses perception. Sense motive isn't action, but it uses your perception. Yeah, so it would be

like if she was lying, it's against her deception DC. But it is a perception check against her deception DC. Yeah. Okay. Ooh. That was really good. That's a 31 for Atticus. 33 for Ethel.

Oh, Ethel, you badass. And Aldo's just going to do a general perception check around the room. 25. I got a 37. Wow. Wow. Wow. Right? No, that's wrong.

I got a 27. That's very wrong. All right, so. You should have waited until right after we heard the answer to then correct yourself. That's how we play the glass cannon way. That's right. That's the glass cannon way. Oh, wait.

canon way. That's canon way. Oh, wait. Well, Eris and Atticus and Ethel, you don't detect that she's being duplicitous at all in her responses to you.

As you, Aldo, start to look around the room or look at things, you do notice that she has some hidden daggers like in the folds

of her clothes that just seem sort of out of place for a musician. Do you have society? Any good points on society? I believe I do. I'm untrained, but I'm not

terrible. I'm trained. I'm trained in society, but I wasn't quite looking for hidden weapons. You tell me. Unless Aldo shares this information like, hey, notice I got some weapons. Let's have Aldo roll to society, see if you learn anything. Natural 20. Oh, anything. Natural 20.

Oh, shit. Natural 20. Yeah. So you notice the daggers. You're like, huh, that's strange. And then as you continue looking at her, you think that her clothing is far too expensive for that of a common musician that she claims to be so she's on the take

she's on the take well only you know this right you're not sharing it I'm not no okay um before we let you go uh please the full rendition, Last Christmas. What was it?

All the verses, please. Thank you. Last Christmas, I'll give you my heart. She does like an Aaron Neville version that takes 45 minutes. And our last Christmas. The Bleeding Gums Murphy version. Bleeding. Is there anything else?

No, thank you so much for your cooperation. If we need to talk to you again, you will be here? Of course, I will be right around. Wherever my mistress is, you will be here. Oh, of course. I will be right around wherever my mistress is. You will find me. You've been most helpful. Yes, one of us will reach out to you and let you know about the next

phase in this interview process. Very good. So just keep an eye out for that. All right. Well, enjoy your time. Be sure to do some drugs. She's great. Goodbye.

She walks out. So as soon as she's out of earshot, Aldo will show us this. Didn't her clothing seem a bit fancy for someone who claims to be in the position she's in? Also, she had several hidden daggers tucked into that fancy clothing. Oh. Very interesting.

That is interesting. What kind of daggers? I don't know. Sharp daggers. Sharp daggers, the kind that you'd use to cut things. I knew it. I knew it. I knew that rendition of Last Christmas wasn't up to cut things. I knew it. I knew it. I knew that rendition of Last Christmas

wasn't up to snuff. No. Yeah, certainly her outfit is far greater than her rendition of Last Christmas. It would lead us to believe her earning capacity is. Let's not jump to conclusions. Yes, but I detected no deception in her responses, being loyal

to her lady and trying to do her best, being a perfectionist and always falling a bit short. It seemed to be rather honest, though. Let's talk to the others and we can still make a judgment. Though this is a very important piece of information, Aldo. Well done. Well done. Thank you. How about this

mythological Dulcith? Dulcith. Continuing in reverse alphabetical order, that would be our next interview. We open up the door and walk back to her. Yes, how did your

talk with Kavriki go? We would prefer to not share details until we have spoken to all three. Is Daltheth available? Daltheth, yes. Hey, Daltheth! And Daltheth comes over, and he says, Yes, my mistress. Yes, ho! Wait. Yes, oh, wait.

Wait, I'm hearing. I'm hearing a voice. I'm hearing a voice. Did one of you, did one of you lose someone recently? And you do a C, F, or go. He's just like trying to keep his composure. I'm hearing someone, someone passed.

Did you lose someone recently? I'm sorry. We need to stay unbiased while we are consulting. Oh, but of course, but I just, I hear these voices and I can't help it. Out of curiosity, what would that voice be saying? It's a woman's voice, yes. Did a woman pass recently?

One of you? We'll ask the questions. I see the letter K. A K or a J. Something about the money. Something about the money? Who is it guys? Something about the money? Who is the guy with the John Edwards?

John Edwards. It's the John Edwards thing. Something about the money? Something about the money. I'm seeing something like A, maybe an M. Something, I'm seeing an A.

T. M. Have you guys watched The South Park about John Edwards? Yeah, I was just thinking about that. The biggest douche in the universe? Yeah, biggest douche

in the universe, right? Well, she wants you to thinking about that. The biggest douche in the universe? Yeah, the biggest douche in the universe. Well, she wants you to know... You are the biggest douche in the universe. She wants you to know that the money's... The money's okay. You can see a single tear roll down Ethel's cheek. Okay, we definitely can't use

any of Ethel's feedback in this. Yeah, Ethel's gone bye bye in the room pal yes yes I'm hearing another alright we'll go in the room and uh you walk into the room with Dolpheth

and uh let me update the map here so Kavriki is out, and Dolpheth is in. Indeed, I am curious from a metagaming standpoint, why you must put these on a map. Why is that? It's just a nice map.

It is a nice map. It is a nice map. Well, it's funny you should mention that, because once all of you get in the room, something very strange happens. Adolphus is like, I'm hearing another voice, and all of a sudden you see the curtain like straightens taut,

and locks to the floor, and all of a sudden there's this burst of purple gas filling the room. Everybody roll a fortitude save. What the shit? What the shit? What is this? Are you just like...

I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed. I'm no longer fatigued, right? That's only my night terrors are only in the waking lands. Okay. That helps marginally. Fortitude save.

Did you say fortitude, John? I did. Oh, no, skin. That's a bad roll. Shit. I also rolled terribly. No. It's a 27 for Atticus.

Okay. Natural 2. 17 for Ethel. 17 buddies. 17 buddies. And what about Eris? 33.

I rolled a natural 18. Nice. Everybody roll for initiative Oh my goodness What on earth What am I rolling Perception I thought we were going to be

Interrogating this fellow But it looks like He's a dirty bastard But I knew it because I rolled Great initiative What did you roll Ah, he's a dirty bastard, but I knew it because I rolled great initiative. What did you roll, Eris? 27.

27. Ethel? Another good roll. Ethel rolled a 22. Atticus? 28. And Aldo? 13, natural one.

Oh, jeepers. Get those out of the way. Alright, here's what happens immediately. This gas fills the room, and Dolph is like, wait, I'm hearing another voice. He starts, like, grabbing at his throat. And he hits the floor, and you just see, like,

he's out. Eris, you seem to be fine by this initial gas that enters the room. However, Atticus fails, and Aldo and Ethel critically fail. I failed with a 27? You failed with a 27. Eris succeeded with a 33. Sheated with a 33. Where Aldo... I don't know if you know this,

but this book was inappropriately converted. Yeah, I have a complaint to lodge. All right, so this thing that you're inhaling to Aldo and Ethel, you immediately go to stage two of this poison, and you take eight points of slashing damage. It's like inhaling fiberglass that's cutting up your insides, and you're stupefied one.

Atticus, you take five points of poison damage. Five points. So five points of poison damage to Atticus, and Aldo and Scooby-Doo Ethel take eight points of slashing damage, and you're stupefied one. He, like, coughs blood up. All right, let's go in round order here

as these stages play out. It is Atticus' turn. Give me another fortitude save. If you pass, you will be cured. And you know this is at the beginning of your turn. Yeah, I'm basically using Initiative Order to track the stages unless something changes the situation. Okay, but it's definitely the beginning of my turn. So, for example, if I ran out of the room, that doesn't matter.

No, you can do something like that. Try it. like, for example, if I ran out of the room, that doesn't matter. No, you can do something like that. Try it. Okay, so he is going to run out of the room. You go to run to that curtain, and it's completely taut and impassable. It's something, some sort of trap has been set in the room. All right, so that is, oh, this is crazy. All right, so that is... Oh, this is crazy. All right, so that is an action. In the meantime, I'm going to see if afflictions tick at the beginning of your turn or not,

just in case you can, like, cast something that boosts your spell. Yeah, exactly. Like, I feel like it goes at the end of the turn. I mean, do these have flat checks? No, they have a save. I'm looking to see if I have something that would allow me to jump. I just don't have it right now. I don't believe so.

End of your turn. End of your turn. Yeah. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. It's a trap! It's a trap! It's a trap!

Yeah, I'm not seeing anything that would boost fortitude saves or allow me to jump to the other side of the door. So I will ready an action. I'm going to ready an action with the two actions I have left, but I can only ready one action. I'll just ready an action to put up a shield if something comes near me. And in the meantime, just to keep it moving, and I will roll Fortitude save. And I'm going to fail, I mean, obviously. Yeah, that is a fail.

That is a 24. Alright, so you progress to stage two, and you take 13 points of slashing damage, and you're stupefied one. Oh, my God. And now it goes to Aris. Hey, so I'm going to turn myself into a gaseous form. Oh, nice.

Gaseous form. And try to get out of this room through a tiny crack. Wow. Having that spell immediately come in handy is perfect. Yeah, that's awesome. That's so perfect. How many actions is it to cast gaseous form? So that's a two action spell. It's polymorph and transmutation traits.

Somatic, verbal. And one willing creature. And I'm willing. And it's a five minute duration. So you cast it on yourself and then you still have one action left to try and move out of the room and I'm going to say that you're able to find a crack that lets you slide back out

into the common area. That's what I do. But you are just a cloud of gas. Which in that room wouldn't look out of place as there's smoky haze everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Okay, it is now Ethel's turn. Ethel, you are at stage two of this

and stupefied one. All right, Ethel is going to move toward the curtain, the door, and draw his hammer and his hatchet and just begin to hack at the curtain trying to cut us free. I love it. Give me a fortitude save.

All right. Oh, that's terrible. 22. Oh, boy. All right, not bad. I rolled bad. You take eight points of poison damage and now you're stupefied two.

And do I do any damage to the curtain? Yeah. You don't have to roll it. I'm just gonna say you've begun damaging this curtain. It doesn't feel like a curtain anymore. It still has felt on the outside, but there's some sort of metal behind it that you're banging into. It's metal? Oh, gosh.

Alright, so with that, I'm not that, I'm only stupefied too. It's not like I'm a building capacity. So oncepefied too it's not that not like I'm a building capacity so once I realize what it is I'll share there's some sort of

metal door we need to find another way out find another way out and it is Aldo's turn alright first thing I'm gonna do

as I'm coughing up blood is I'm gonna do an alchemical lore check to see if I can identify the substance that we're breathing in uh ooh okay that is a 29 check to see if I can identify the substance that we're breathing in. Ooh, okay. That is a 29. Yep, that's

enough to know. This is a burnt Other fumes trap. You've heard of Other fumes? No. O-T-H-U-R. I thought you were mispronouncing other. No, it honestly might be pronounced. Do you mean other? Are you trying to say other? It probably iscing other. No, it honestly might be pronounced.

Do you mean other? Are you trying to say other? It probably is pronounced other. This actually goes back to D&D 3.5, I think. Oh, wow. They're an awesome poison. I'm just looking to see more information on that. But you know it's burnt other fumes. Okay.

And is there any counteracting agent or anything? You know that it only lasts for a certain amount of time. Actually, I can tell you. It lasts six rounds. So at the end of six rounds, if you haven't fully saved or brought yourself back above stage one, it

stops to run its course. But if you keep failing saves, you're going to keep taking damage and keep... I don't know if the stupefied will stack or not, but anyways, you're going to keep taking damage. It's IFA! And I'm going to do a perception

check to see if there's anything notable about the situation that I haven't seen yet. That is a 25. 25. 25. All right, so the one thing you do notice in the northern part of the room,

there seems to be a little outline on the wall that looks like it might be a secret door leading out of this chamber. Oh, huge. Oh, my God. So I'm like, he's coughing and pointing at that spot on the door.

And I think that's basically, that's his third action. That's basically all he can do. Okay. Give me another fortitude save. Man, another natty ten. That is a... It's a fail. It's a fail. Alright, you're going to take 13 points of poison damage,

and you're stupefied two. The stupefies for this do not stack. It's just one round, but you'll keep taking this poison damage. And now it goes to round two. Atticus, you're still afflicted. You're at stage two. What do you do? Yeah, no threat came out for him to cast his jawn,

so he is going to, oh, my God. He's going to follow Aldo's lead to the wall, and he'll just start trying to find and open this secret door. All right, you move to the wall. First action, second action, you move to the wall. First action. Second action. You open a door, and you see this little alcove here. It looks like it's meant for people to sneak in and out of Queviandra's room. And, yeah.

You want to roll another perception check when you're in there to try and find out how to get out of that? Well, move to the door. Open the door. That door that's two actions yeah third action would be moving in fourth action would be looking around so i'm gonna look before i move in yeah it's a very tight space so if you moved in there you could be blocking the way for others yeah so i'm gonna take a quick like peek peek peek oh that's good, dude. Nice. That is 28. Yep. Nice. Sure enough, you see an outline of another door on the opposite side. Okay. And he's coughing.

And he's waving everybody this way past him. And another fortitude save. Yep. I mean, you're trying to dodge the fumble here. This is bad. Yeah. This is really bad. Okay. Didn't fumble. Same thing. 27. Oh. This is really bad. Okay, didn't fumble.

Same thing. 27. Oh, no. Oh, no, it didn't go down. Will goes down with stupefied, not fortitude. 27. All right, 13 points of poison damage, and you're stupefied, too. Like, on the wall, it's just, like, blood coughing up, and it's splattering on the wall.

like on the wall. He's just like blood coughing up and it's splattering on the wall. You see Dol Theth's skin is completely purple and his veins are like crawling up his neck to his face and his eyes are just frozen open. He's dead. He's dead already. He's dead already.

What? He didn't have as many hit points as you guys. Yeah, he's not a hero. He's not eighth level. If he was, he wouldn't be working for this one. He was a first level astrologer. I'm seeing, I'm seeing,

I'm getting M, the letter M. Maybe a J, a J sign. J or G. It's Aris' turn. Something about the money? Okay, so like, Kate like Eris doesn't see this

that he because like I was thinking that Dolphith did this but maybe he didn't but like she's not in the room anymore so she un-gashes herself okay that's right is that one action to un-gashes the target herself. Okay, that's probably, is that one action to

un-gash-us? The target is dismissing the spell. Okay, that's probably a one action. Yeah, and then discreetly walk to Quiviandra. Whoa, oh man, we have split the party.

And say, um, someone trapped the room we're interviewing in. My comrades are dying. I think we might have found the person. Can you help? Wait.

Wait. Stop speaking so quickly. What happened? Calm yourself and explain the situation. Some gas trap was let off into the room. Gas trap in my quarters?

My God, this is amazing. I mean, Kate, you are portraying this as if we have come in to interview people that we're going to fire. And as part of doing so, someone in like a cubicle set off a death trap for the people that were're going to fire. And as part of doing so, someone in like a cubicle set off a death trap. The people that were interviewing them. And then you walked out to the boss and we're like,

someone said a death trap. Definitely going to fire them. In the most calm tone. Also, the trap is probably meant for her. So it's like. Right? Like just in case it was the last person we didn't interview. Like I remember she told us to keep our

voices down, so I'm just trying to just walk over there and tell her, hey, shit's going down in that room. Gas, poison. Obviously. Obviously. Music. There is a... Listen, there is a

secret passageway in the room, to the north of the room where my quarters are go in that way and let your friends out but do it quickly okay got it thanks for your help yes be cool don't let everyone know this will be important for the investigation yeah yeah i'm cool i'm cool she goes well I don't think she does anything. That was like kind of three actions. So she ends her turn standing there saying she'll be cool. One, two.

You can begin moving over there. Talking is free action. Oh, okay. So you can begin moving over there. And now it is Ethel's turn. Ethel will pick up Doltheth, not realizing he's dead, because he's stupefied. He'll pick him up, throw him over his shoulder.

I'm assuming that's going to be two actions. He's right next to me. One. Yeah, sure. All right, one, and then I'll just move into the room and then open the door. Okay. So you move into that little crawl space, and you open the door into another little alcove situation,

and we'll say there's a couple people in there, and they're getting high. It's this guy and this dude. He's like, hey, hey, get that door closed. I'm getting high in here. Come on, man. Me and my girl are getting high. Come on, man.

Shut that door, dude. You're letting all the weed out. Your room stinks, man. You got some bad flay leaf. Roll a fortitude save. Do I get any kind of assistance for not being in the room anymore and directly exposed?

Yeah, give yourself a plus five now that you've got a little more fresh air coming into there. You're not in that closed quarters. Okay, that is much better. That's going to be a 35. All right, 35 is going to take you from stage three to stage two, which is just going to be 9 points of slashing damage and stupefied 1.

Great. If you save again, you go to stage 1. Save again, you'll be fine. And I believe this is round 3 of 6. And now it is Aldo's turn. Oh, God. I mean, we really need... What's her name?

Sarah. Suki. To heal us. Yeah. Aldo is going... He's going to rush through, like, pushing past Atticus and Ethel into the next room, getting into the... Hey, come on, man!

This is a two-person party! I don't have enough drugs for you! And I cough blood, this giant gout of blood, onto both of them. Ah! Ah! It's a great thing to experience when you're super high. And I'm going to do a perception check in this room

to see if there's anything I notice. Okay. Probably not. 19? There's lots of drugs and the curtained wall isn't as hard as the one from the one you left. It's not as hard.

Roll a 42 save with a plus 5. That's another fail. Not a plus 5. Okay. That's another fail. Not a critical fail. Okay, so you just repeat stage 3, which is obviously still pretty bad. 6, 12. Oh, God, 17 points of damage.

Oh, my God. And stupefied 2. This is a brutal poison. All right, good news is that's the end of round three. It now goes to round four. And it's Atticus' turn. Okay. Atticus, I guess there's nothing else to do here,

but follow everyone, run out, and get the hell out of there. Okay. So he'll move through. Hey, come on, man! Running into the room. I'm seeing rats! This blood is making me see rats! Oh, get him off me!

He's going to go to the curtain and push the curtain open. Ah, okay. So you push the curtain open, and you bust into that room, and now you've got much more space. Give yourself a plus ten to that save because you've still inhaled it and it's entered your body. Like right into this nice party he just starts like hawking up blood.

Eris sees him pop out. And people just like, oh man, he had too much. He had too much. He partied too hard. And there's the natural twenty. Too much shiva. Alright, that's great. And there's the natural 20. That is a 43. All right, that's great. So that's going to take you from stage three to stage one. Huge. It'll bounce you up two,

which is just a simple six points of poison damage. One more save. Do I lose my stupefied condition? Yes. Oh, huge. Okay, great. Great, and now it's Eris. Eris, you see the curtains open,

and it looks like your friends have found the way out. But they're still coughing up blood. So I see they found the way out, but I also just realized, I feel like as she walked to this curtain, and she passes by, I mean, the pawn is there for Kavriki, but is Kavriki still out in this room?

Ah, she is. She's saying, last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day. So she goes up behind her and just says, you really have to learn another song. We need to talk. And like grabs her by the hand. Or like puts her hand on his shoulder. Why is that chicken?

What is the matter? I don't understand. I'm playing. You interrupted my song. Is there a way I can like intimidate her like I have an intimidating glare

I'm gonna glare at her and try to demoralize her it's a train I'm trained in intimidation and I can demoralize with a mere glare and when I do the demoralized. And when I do, the demoralized loses the when I do, demoralized

uses the auditory trait and gains the visual trait and you don't take a penalty if the creature doesn't understand your language. Oh, okay, cool. Alright, so do you still have to roll an intimidate check or is it automatic? It doesn't say it's automatic. Yeah, you still have to roll.

Okay. Intimidate. It's like Teen Wolf. I would like a cake. You better stay where you are, you sneaky little bard bitch. How dare you?

Bard bitch! I rolled a natural five for a 19. Let's talk. Don't cause a scene. Let's talk. Moved to her. Talking is free. I rolled to intimidate. One action plunged a dagger into her throat.

Yeah. An action to just grab her. Like, okay, just grab her by the arm. Like, you know, you're in trouble, missy. Let's go to the other room. The other room? Yes, the room that we were in. I can fix this.

You can fix this? Yes. I'm gonna put you in that room. I'm not gonna come in with you. All right, just bring me over there. Okay. I'll do it next round. Can't wait. I'm out of actions. What do you want me to do?

I'm simply out of actions. It's Ethel's turn. Ethel's still carrying the body of Doltheth. We'll walk through the room and ruin those two people's party. Oh, come on, man! You got knives! And we'll just carry Doltheth out into the main room. Don't cut my drugs!

Don't cut my drugs, man! Come on, knifey, don't cut my drugs! You carry that Dol, Knifey! Don't cut my drugs! You carry that doll of death out and bring him into that room. Roll again with a plus ten. Okay. Thirty-eight. Okay, and were you at stage two

or were you still stupefied two or what were you? I was stupefied one. Okay, so at thirty-eight is a crit. You go from stage two to or were you still stupefied two, or what were you? I was stupefied one. Okay, so at 38 is a crit. You go from stage two to you're fine. Amazing. Okay. Huge.

Huge. Actually, no, 38 is not a crit. You just go to stage one. I'm already at stage one. You go from stage two to stage one. I was at stage one. You were at stage two because you were stupefied one, right? Oh, sorry, I was stupefied one.

Sorry, it takes seven points of damage. But one more save and you're fine. And now it is Aldo's turn. Alright, Aldo, he's gonna like, he's knocking over tables full of drugs, sending them scattered, scattering. He's coughing blood up onto everything that someone put in their mouth.

You're worse than your friend Knifey! There's always a bad duck in every troop! I'm a knife! I'm the worst duck you'll ever see, mate! And he goes outside, covered in blood, poison, and flay leaf.

And I'm gonna try to do a fortitude save. Oh my god, dude. 24. No, it's so god, dude. Uh, 24. No, it's so high, the save on this one. So, you take... Oh no. 14 points of damage, and you

remain stupefied, too. So this thing is just eating you guys alive. Um, and, uh, and then it's round five. Uh, and at the top of round five, she motions to all of you. And she, I'm talking about Kavriki,

walks over and you see her very subtly tap something on the curtain. And the curtain parts. And she motions for all of you to go inside you know the curtain like softens and then she motions for you all to come inside it comes to atticus's turn atticus you're still are you fine now or you're one save away from i think you're one save from fine yeah i went to Yeah. I went to stage one. So he's still got it in him and he's coughing. He's like, are you out of your mind? There's a cloud of poison

gas in there. No, no, it's fine. It's fine. I took care of it. Great. I'm going to go along with this because it's a stream. This doesn't make any fucking sense am I still doing a plus 10 I mean yeah

that is a 39 alright so you're fine now uh he will follow okay you go in there and there's no more gas in the room and the curtain's totally normal he tripped something that turned off the trap why did you do that sorry Totally normal. She tripped something that turned off the trap.

Why did you do that? Sorry. I have to protect myself. I do not understand what is going on here. Indeed. Are we out of combat? Is everybody else going to come in here? They're still choking. But Eris, it's Eris's turn.

Eris, you're not choking. Do you want to just come into the room? Yeah, since I was like, like I grabbed her arm, I like, I would assume went into the room with her. Yeah, I guess. And also, because she's demoralized, she is frightened one. Of me, at least.

Ah! Ah! Ah! So I go with her, and I kind of just, like, hold my hand out at her, my fingernails. I was like, don't do any more funny business. I won't. You don't want to see me and what else I can do. You don't, truly.

You don't. And then me and what else I can do. You don't, truly. You don't. And then she takes out her poppet. She goes, and you don't want to see what Egg can do. Oh, man. Please, please, please. Please, no. Ethel. Ethel will follow them and I guess make another save when he gets in the room. Yeah, make another save.

Still plus ten. There's no more gas abounding. So you're starting to get that fresh air in to clean out your lungs. Okay, 38 again. Alright, so you're fine. But poor Aldo is left still at stage 3. Alright. Give me another save here. Alright, I'm still pushing my way past all these drug addicts.

I'm still carrying Dolbeth, by the way. I just carry this dead body through the room. Uh, okay. Oh, there the way. I just carry this dead body through the room. Uh, okay. Oh, there we go. There we go. Uh, let's see. Uh, 41. 41! Alright, so you just go to stage one,

uh, and you take four points of damage. You get into the room and, uh, close the curtain behind you. And she's like, Alright, listen. You don't understand. I had no choice. Queer Leandra is...

She is very evil. She is very evil and this was meant for her. This was not meant for you. Of course she is evil, but what do you mean? If it was meant for her, why does it go off the moment you leave the room? Because I can trigger the trap. I figured if you were poking around, wondering things, you may find me out and hand me over to her.

So I felt my only chance was to eliminate you as well. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You probably have no reason to trust me or believe me, but if you have any goodness in you at all, you will know that I am not your enemy, though I just tried to kill you. It was in self-defense, for I knew that... Well, I didn't know.

The point is, Quiviandra, she is involved in horrible things. She is here on Dylathleen to try and establish an illegal network of soul traders to bring her night hag practice of bartering souls into the dreamlands.

This is what she does on her home world, in her home dimension of Abaddon. This would ruin the dreamlands if she did that here. This is dark sorcery. She considers the souls of the dreamers who inhabit my home to be an untapped resource. These extraplanar bazaars. She wants to corner the market herself.

And steal our very souls. The souls of my people. These souls are already broken. Like I told you before. Wandering children in the souls of my people. These souls are already broken, like I told you before, wandering children in the streets, wondering who their parents were. I keep hearing about this, but I haven't seen it yet. She will steal their souls,

the souls of these children. They will never grow up to sing Last Christmas in a drug den. It's terrible, yes. But I don't want to get too excited talking about lost children on the street and their souls or bodies being eaten. Yes, I'm afraid

you may have stumbled upon the wrong crew. We are not exactly interested in doing what is what you call the right thing. She must die. She must die to stop this important practice. But yet you have been serving her for how long? So, she must die, yes?

Yes. She killable? Yes. How? A simple poison like this, it did nothing to us. What would it have done to her? It would have weakened her, and then I could have come in and finished the job. It did something to me.

Oh, yes, I'm very sorry. Again, I did not know. You live. Eris walks over to you and puts her hand on your back and goes, there, there, Alto, it's going to be okay. And she's going to soothe you, if you're willing. And you get... What is this?

You get 13 hit points back. Oh, that is quite soothing. Thank you. And you get a plus two status bonus to saves against mental effects for a minute. I don't know if this is a mental effect or not. No, it's poison. Ethel heaves the body of Dultheth onto the floor. You look like you were just carrying out a guy that

had too much. He's been over-served. And then he draws his warhammer and his hatchet and he turns to Aldo and Atticus. He's like, do I kill her or do I kill the other one? Please, you appear to be very formidable. The fact that you could withstand this poison

when that terrible astrologer died in two rounds shows me that you have the strength to defeat her. Just help me turn the tables on her. Let me go back out there, and then you call her in here to discuss your findings. I will not trip that trap. It needs to be reset. It's a whole thing.

But once she comes in, you launch your attack on her, and I will keep her retinue occupied in the common room. If you try to face her and corner her out there, there's no way of knowing how many people will come to her aid. In here, you can make short work of her.

But you must trust me. She is the one you want, not aid. In here you can make short work of her. But you must trust me. She is the one you want, not me. You think you whatever reward she promised you, she will not give you. She is full of lies and deceit. This is what she does. She not only trades in soul, she trades in lies!

Do you have made a defense? Three cents motive. Three cents motive. Three cents motive or something leave us you can still sense motive I can leave leave us last Christmas

yeah I mean I mean of course it's all legit oh wow I've been crushing this perception roll. That is a 31. Crushing it for a wizard. Anyway. You know that you rolled a 30-something before,

and you didn't pass her deception, so she's a very skilled liar. So if she was lying, you still feel like, if she's lying, she's fucking if she's lying she's fucking good yeah but the thing is there is a certain logic in it isn't there regardless

of whether or not she is lying the odds are if we're playing it what's more likely I thought it strange at the time why merely outing this assassin would she just give up the hearthstone I thought it strange at the time. Why merely outing this assassin? Would she just give up the hearthstone? Just give it away?

Something that she needs to survive? It seemed a little too easy. Perhaps this one is right. If we could get her in here, get her cornered, we'll also have an ally. An ally who knows how to kill. Seems to me we got a perfect no-lose situation, because if we

bring her in here, we got a dead body. We just say, it was the astrologer. And then if she says, here's the hearthstone, we just go. But if she's like, ah, excuses, excuses, bullshit, bullshit, then we kill her. Ethel, that's a great point, Mike. I like it, Ethel.

I like it very much, though I am so hurt. I am too. I could do some healing as well. I mean, this is fucked. Who took field medicine? Was that you, Ethel? Yeah, I can heal. For an action, I can heal for an action.

I can heal each of us 2d8 hit points if I make my medicine. Well, it's better than nothing. I mean, this is a brutal way to face a boss. I don't really know that we have the stuff. But let's take some rounds to do this, at least. Alright. That's a pass for me. That's a pass for

Aldo. That's a natural 20 for you, Joe. Nice! Does that mean anything? Yeah, I think it's double. I think it is. There's some kind of bonus I can't remember. I believe it is double. I think.

I'm not even making a joke. You're treating wounds, right? Yeah, it's treat wounds. you can do treat wounds as an action then you're immune to it for the rest of the day yeah but i think you get double on a crit yeah all right that's double all right yeah you get double so what's the done are you um eris were you hurt i was fine i passed the check and I can soothe two more times. It's a level one spell. But before I do,

I would like to ask Kvrikvi, what are her weaknesses? What's good to use against her before I blow those slots? She is very powerful. Nighthags, they draw power from their... Wait, she has a different voice She is... I forgot her voice

She is very powerful These nighthags, they draw power from their heart stone She can cast spells Spells that mess with your mind With your dreams, both while you are awake and asleep She has the power of the shadows at her command. She is dangerous, but your numbers alone should be able to take her out.

Is she kind of maybe not as receptive to other mental spells being cast on her? I have not heard such things. I'm sure she has some resistances, but she never disclosed them to me. I never saw her character sheet. She probably has a really high will save

if nothing else. Skid, you heal seven. You heal seven, and Joe, you heal twelve. You can try to recall knowledge on Nighthags just to see if you can get some more concrete information. Yeah, I feel like maybe Eris knows about

other types of witches, so let's roll this dice. Recall knowledge is rolling. It could be, for this one, Planes or Arcana. Let's do Arcana. I'm trained in that. Nine.

So that's a 23. All right, 23. I can tell you... Arcana might have... Anyways, that they do... They typically do have resistance against mental. All right. Okay.

How are you feeling, Aldo? I'm in a bit of a tough, rough way still, not feeling quite up to snuff. Oh, are you still feeling a little bad? And she like puts her hand on your back again. You already did him once. You already did him once. Do you feel worse than Aldo?

Most definitely. I feel pretty terrible as well. I'm worse than both of you. I see how this is. Everyone wants me to tell them that they're going to be a little better. I could use a back soothing. How does the soothing work exactly? The soothing.

Are you going to touch us with the mouth? I don't need to touch you, I guess. Just a chicken hand, bro. I grace your mind and boost your mental defenses and heal wounds. So I feel like the main point of this is you gain plus two status bonus to saves against mental effects. Yeah, that's huge, too. For a minute. Huge.

But then you also hear 1d10 plus four. I should warn you, there are some wounds in there that just aren't going to heal, no matter how hard you try. All right, let's pass that around. And, Skin, can't you heal us? Can't you heal us all? I can give each of you two elixirs of life. Amazing. So that would be 2d6 plus 2 healing for each of you.

We just roll it for ourselves. And I don't need any, just so you know. Don't count me. And wait, so 2d6 plus 2 per elixir? No, for both. A total of 2d6 plus 2. Okay, that elixir actually does me pretty well up there.

I'll drink mine. Grab your roll. I got 7 total. And then can you please soothe me? I get 1d10 plus 4. Aw, okay. Come on, Aeris, please.

I need your soothing. It's going to be alright. Don't worry. Nothing's gonna come out and take you while you sleep and eat you. I don't know why I'm rolling. You said it was 1d10 plus 4. Yeah, I know. I just rolled a d20 for no reason.

I rolled a natural 20. Let's just say it's a 10. That's a 10. So 14. Yeah. Roll it. Oh, okay. You could say a d20 is a d10.

Okay. Troy's not saying anything. I'll sleep just fine. Troy's not paying attention. Perfect. Blue under the radar. It's like rolling a D6 for a D3. You can't do that.

You gotta roll a D10. Oh, okay. Yeah. You get eight points that's I rolled a four god damn it you dirty cheaters

this is so you soothe me as well the minute dad turns his back really okay wait I thought you said you were gonna be fine I mean I'm

I hope I'm gonna be fine I mean there are some things I'll be fine about but you know okay no more don't tell but he could use the bonus too he Okay, no more. But he could use the bonus, too. He could use the bonus as well. He could use the bonus. What is the bonus?

What is the bonus? Plus two to mental against mental effect? Saves against mental. For one minute. Oh, yeah, that's not a lot. Yeah, so, like, we got to set up the trap. It's not going to. Yeah, we can't do, like, a conversation.

I'll pass on the soothing. Are you sure? Yeah, like I said, there are some things you just don't come back from. I owe you one for the whittling of the wood. If you know what I mean. The guy from the other room is like sitting next to you and he's like,

Can I get some of that soothing? Come on, lady. He just shoves him back into the other room. I give them an intimidating glare. Oh! Oh, no! Rats! Alright, um, so what do you want to do? Do you want to try and take her on

in this tiny little room? Do you want to lure her into another room? What is your strategy here? I think the tiny little room is going to give us the biggest advantage because if she's going to try to get off spells, I at least can get off attacks of opportunity. She doesn't have a lot of room to maneuver. Yep. Agreed.

Of course, we don't have to start the fight immediately. We're going to offer the body of Doltheth, saying he turned on us, we had to kill him, and now we can hand over the Hearthstone. It's true, Kavriki will not be happy with that, but you just need the Hearthstone. I don't work for Kavriki,

alright? I work for this guy and this rat. Alright, so, what's the plan here? How do you do this? Do you go out there and... Do we say that it's the dead body body because we do have the option with your old buddy Atticus to

hide the body and make this guy just appear alive? Why? Standing in the room. He was the guy. And say it's him. But he can't really talk. I mean, he makes sounds and stuff like that, but he can't really sound like himself exactly. It was him. Sorry. He tried to attack us.

We had no choice but to respond. Yeah, maybe I'll make an illusion of him gagged and bound. Yeah. Just so that she doesn't think that we just killed off somebody. She's a hag. She's going to be able to see through your illusion.

If anyone's going to make that will save, it's her. So I would just... Why lie? We killed him. Okay. Well, we are lying. Why pile on to the lie? Yeah.

Well, because he could be a combatant. That's what I'm saying. It's not just like a fig a figment. Like, he... It's, uh, an illusion that can attack her. But... That's fine. Let's just go. Let's just go. Let's see what she says. Alright, so who goes out to bring her in?

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Do we... Are we concerned about, uh, Amanetta not even being interviewed? Like, do we need to do a show of interviewing Aminata before we pull her in and say we know who it is? I don't think so.

If we can just say he was like, I'll kill you, never find out. And then we had to kill him. Right, right. Ethel will go out and be like, excuse me, ma'am. Um... Ethel will go out and, uh,

excuse me, ma'am. Uh... Yes? Handsome? We have, uh, results. If you want to come, uh, confer with us in the other room. You do?

That was quicker than I expected. Well, you get what you pay for. Well, uh, see, it for. Well, I see. It seemed like there was a bit of commotion, but I did not want to stare. We'll explain everything. All right, I entrusted you with this mission. Let me come into my quarters here.

Would you hold my hand? Sure. It's been a while since a man touched me like you touch me. I'll be honest, it's been a while since I've been touched in any way. All right, I'm here now. What do you show me? Dolph Fett! What, he's... Is he tied up? He looks like he's tied up or he's dead.

He's dead. He's dead I explicitly told you If you found the person to Tell me and that I would Meet out justice You see remember when I came out And let you know what was going on

Yes He set off a trap and attacked us A trap? We defended ourselves. I told you about this, and you told me to figure it out, so we did. Yes, he said he... He said that he would... He had an escape plan or something.

He said, you will all die, and I will find my way out of here. And Ethel, it was, cut him down before he could do so. I hit him. I hit him with my hammer. Dolpheth! I... I did suspect him, but he is not the violent sort. No, he

was not. In fact, he was rather unviolent. Poison is a coward's weapon, after all. He shut off the poison and then fly tried to flee from the room he wanted no physical fight with us at all he just wanted to kill us and make his escape so he couldn't possibly tell you that he was the one who had set you up and of course he's the one who set you up because he didn't do the deed himself he had it outsourced to those who had the wherewithal to fight you, or fight your people, at least.

And you saw him trying to, like, you know, sweet-talk us before we came into this room and distract us, and... Yeah. Yes. I suppose it all adds up. I just wish I had the opportunity to speak with him and let him know the hurt that he caused me. But you are certain

he was the culprit? Oh, indeed. Hundred percent. Hundred percent. Ten percent. Hundred ten percent. And so, with that, I very much appreciate the hearthstone. Yes, I believe you have earned this.

I went to great pains to retrieve one of these, but a small price to pay to do it again for my life, I suppose. She like wraps it up in a cloth. Here. May you enjoy your travels, whether it be here in Dylathleen or elsewhere.

Can I examine it? See if it's authentic? Yeah. You may. Alright. To an arcana. You will forgive us. We are indeed unfamiliar with the artifact. We must take pleasure.

Well, it is very powerful. I would be very careful with that. Yes. Its magic will linger. And I'll detect magic. While he's looking at it more closely, I'll just see if it's even magical. What is this casting you are doing here?

Oh, just a simple detect magic. I want to make sure it is indeed emanating the magic you say it does. It may not, you owe it. It is a magic you would not see, as it is only magical in my possession, and even outside of my possession, the magic fades, so you may not detect the magic as you normally detect it. And what did you roll, Aldo?

32. It is not a heart stone. It is a large jacinth, probably worth a couple thousand gold. Certainly a sly substitute, but not the real thing.

Are we all done here? Yes, I guess you're right. It is a magic we are unable to detect, and Atticus is just getting ready to... Yes, this is quite precious. Very impressive. And we do appreciate the gift, however...

And he's kind of tucking it into his belt pouch. However, it is not quite what we agreed upon, so as a result, we are going to have to kill you. I'm very sorry. That is necessary. And I sever with my kukiri. Kukiri. My kukiri.

My kukiri. My kukiri. Right in the back. You are born as fools. Roll for initiative. Oh my goodness. Oh baby. Oh man.

If ever you want to get a good one. You've got her completely surrounded. Jack. Shut up! I'm gonna need another beef stick. Yeah, for real. Shit's going long, bro. I rolled a exceptionally bad

initiative. 31 for Aldo. Nice, Aldo. Ethel? 22. 22 for Ethel. Ethel? 22. 22 for Ethel. Eris? 21.

21. Okay. And Atticus? And 23 for Atticus. Oof. All right. So we're going to go a little longer because I'd love to wrap this up. And now Cindy's character is here.

So let's see here. You guys are a little beat up, but you did do some healing after that poison. Did significant damage, especially to Aldo. But you do have her surrounded in this tiny little room. Atticus, is that where you wanted to stand? I wanted to stand as far away from her as possible.

So I was trying to duck into this little secret room thinking she'd be in the other corner. I mean, I think that we need to be, you know, Eris needs to be right next to her. There's no way we would position ourselves anywhere other than we knew we were going to fight her. So Eris would be right next to her, and Atticus would be behind.

Never quite done a combat like this. Let's see how it goes. It's Aldo's turn. Alright, Aldo is going to shake up a vial of bottled lightning and throw it right into her face. Ah!

Ah! Oh, that is a 32. 32 to hit. Okay, now is that um is that, oh forget it. Sorry. 32 to hit is a hit. Okay, now is that... Is that... Oh, forget it. Sorry. 32 to hit is a hit.

Okay. Oh! Box cars on the damage. Oh, dude, amazing. 16 points of damage. And I think there's something else, some other effects. Surprise? Yeah, it would be a little surprising.

And then he's going to throw an acid. He's going to throw acid on her. That is, oh, that's a 27. 27's a miss. Okay. So she takes four points of acid damage. With your new John Ski. Okay. So she takes four points of acid damage. With your new Jonski. Okay.

Great. Anything else, or is that it? I'm just going to do a... Lightning has to do it. Yeah. I'm going to do a knowledge check to see if she has any weaknesses. Probably should have done this first. That would be 31.

She's weak to cold iron. Cold iron. Okay. Cold iron! If you've got to cold iron. Cold iron. Okay. Cold iron! If you've got a cold iron, use it! And Aeris knows that she has some resistances to mental damage, but she's weak to cold iron. Okay.

It is Atticus's turn. Oh, boy. This is very, very, very interesting. Um... This is very, very, very interesting. The woman who set this up is nowhere to be seen. Her plan was she is going to distract people outside. You can hear the distance. Last Christmas. So she was not going to come in and stabby stab away.

She was going to distract. Okay. Oh, and she's flat-footed. And the curtain is closed behind us, right? She's flat-footed? Okay. She's flat-footed until the start of my next turn. Okay, great. That's huge. And can I just ping where she is?

Is this her right in the middle of the room we have her surrounded, or is this her in the corner? No, no, that's Doll Theth in the corner. He's dead. So she's smack in the middle of the room. Wow, this is a wild situation. Okay. Then I am going to open then with a three-action bone shaker on her.

Going right to the bone. Going right to the bones, dude. And that is a Fortitude save. Gonna try to avoid that Will. Go Fortitude. Let's see how she does on Fort. Okay. Great. So... Here we go. Let's get Neon Greensy

out. That is going to be a... 34. Joe looks distressed. No, that was awesome. It is 3d8 damage and I rolled 3 7s. Oh, wow.

But you succeeded. So it's half? Not a critical success, right? Yes, it's half. So you take 10 points of damage. Ten points of, I believe, bludgeoning damage. Okay.

And I will... Um... Free action. Ethel, you want me to push her against the wall? Or do you want her to stay right in melee with you? Because I can move her bones. Better if she stays in melee with me. Okay, and he will just let it go.

So 10 points of damage. 10 points of damage. Okay, great. Guys really lit her up here. And it looks like her fucking fortitude save is pretty good in addition to her will save. Yeah, I can tell you more

later as to that. It is Ethel's turn, though. I'm telling you, a real bad initiative, which kind of changes the entire combat for what I played. Alright, Ethel's gonna double slice, hammer and hatchet. Uh...

Oh, God, and hatchet. Oh, God. Not great rolling. Okay, that is going to be a 28 on the warhammer and a 29 on the hatchet. Miss. Really? Flat-footed? Close.

Oh, flat-footed. Those are both hits. Yes. Nice. I like it for the win. Amazing. I got the whole foot on there and I forgot. Guess what I get to do on the first episode? I get to flinch you, bro. Yes, flinch!

Oh, you flinched me, bro! Let's deal with the damage first, though. So from the Warhammer, that's going to be 22 points of damage. Oh, my God. And from the hatchet, that's going to be 14 points of damage. Okay. And then third action will be the flensing strike. So that is going to take 2d8 persistent bleed damage. So 2d8 persistent bleed damage So 2d8 persistent bleed damage

and you are flat footed so you're flat footed for a little longer and any resistances to any physical damage types are reduced by 5. Wow! So 2d8 persistent damage at the end of her turn which she'll then roll a

flat check to see if it stops. So Ethel just slams into her chest with the hammer and then just does a massive slice across her face maybe. And she's just bleeding. This is her nightmare. We are

her nightmare. He loves being a nightmare. Okay, this is interesting. Alright, it's her turn. The only one she beat in initiative was Eris. The first thing she's going to do is cast a spell which will provoke

both... Eris, do you have a weapon? You have your claws now, right? It's just that you don't have that reaction. Oh, 9018, that is a 37 to hit? 37's reaction. Oh, uh, 90, 18. That is a, uh,

uh, 37 to hit. Seven's a hit. Is that a, uh, not quite amazing, dude. Wow.

Okay. That's, uh, 17 points of damage. Nice. Wow. Remember her resist. If she had any resistances of physical damage,

they're reduced by five. All right. So here's what happens. She cat, she casts a invisibility, and she goes invisible. And that's... Let me see, that's two actions, and that's all you see. So now it's

Eris's turn. And then she bleeds. Oh, and then she bleeds. That's right! All right, do you want to roll the 2d8? Sure. Five points of damage. She has taken so much damage in this first round. And now I roll a flat check, DC 15 to stop the bleeding. Nope. I roll the six.

DC 15 to stop persistent. I love that rule. It's one of those, like, what a cool rule. It makes persistent damage terrifying. Terrifying! Yeah, that could last for six rounds. Okay, Eris. Tough thing.

She disappeared, but you know she's hurt. There's blood all over the place. The door is closed, right? Like we would see her leave. Curtain shut, yeah. You would see the curtain move for sure, and it didn't. I had a plan, but then she went invisible, which is like really cool of her.

I'm just, like, looking through my stuff really quick to make sure there's not something I'm missing. There might be something I'm missing. I'm going to just prepare to cast a spell that I was originally wanting to cast as soon as she becomes visible. Okay, so you're going to ready an action. Yeah. Okay, that's two actions. When she becomes visible, I'm going to do the things that I wanted to do. That's your trigger.

And does the trigger happen immediately, or does it happen at the end of... That's one thing I want to remember. Like, if she becomes visible, like like say it's not greater invisibility, right? And she takes an action. Does the trigger happen before her action or does it happen at the end of her action? For some reason,

I remember reading that like her action happens and then the trigger in first edition, it was before. Are you saying in second edition, it's after also, I could be missing. I'm sorry. What were you readying?

I'm specifically readying a spell, Organsight. I don't think you can. I think readying is two actions to ready a one-action thing. Oh. Really, you can only really ready swinging a sword, I think. Choose a single action or free action you can use. Oh wow, you can't ready spells. That's why I said he would ready shield

last time. He couldn't ready a two action spell. Let me... So she's invisible. So that means I can't attack her. I'm just gonna hold. You can do'm just gonna hold you can do a seek action you can do a seek action it's a perception check uh to yeah because we just can't see her she would still give off other clues there might be little things she's stepping on on the floor

or the way that something moves on the wall around her yeah um you could follow the trail of blood the gallons of blood that she's leaking yeah that would give us some kind of a clue as to where she is that's what the perception check is for so basically right now she's invisible to you you can use the seek action

which is a perception check to try and figure out her location which would make her hidden to you so you'd still if you were trying to do something you have to roll a flat check because would make her hidden to you. So you'd still, if you were trying to do something, you have to roll a flat check, because she's still hidden to you, but it's one step. The flat check's slightly easier.

I'll do that. Okay, so roll a perception check. I'm just trying to remember what the DC is. You set the DC is. You set the DC. Well, whatever. No, it should be. Obviously you set the DC, but it's...

Alright, so the target becomes invisible. It's probably against her stealth DC with a bonus for the invisibility. Because if you're invisible, it doesn't mean that if you're an unstealthy person, you could still be like a bull in a china shop. You know what I mean?

Right. The target's invisible. That makes it undetected, though the creatures can attempt to find the target, making it hidden. That's what you're trying to do. So it's a seek action. I just need to know the DC. The DC is her stealth DC. It must be.

Without even a bonus. Is this the stealth DC? Yeah, because all it does is move her to hidden. She's still hidden. Right, right, right. Okay. I'm stalling to see if someone says anything in the chat. If that's the case...

Forman2317 says, she might be screaming, I've been flensed. You can use a seek action to attempt to figure out an invisible creature's location, making it hidden from you. Yeah, I don't think it's stealth DC because she doesn't have a stealth DC.

She doesn't have stealth. Oh, well then, it's going to be really easy to find her. Yeah, that's why I don't think it's stealth. Okay. When invisibly you can't see. If a creature succeeds a perception check against your stealth DC, you become hidden. Yeah.

You're right. Because you're not finding her. She's just hidden. I wonder if invisible condition gives you a bonus to your stealth. Why would it? The bonus that it gives you is when you succeed, you're still hidden.

You know what I mean? It's going to be just a flat DC 10 perception check. I rolled a 24. Alright, so she is... Basically, you know where she is.

Yeah, and you take a 25% basically, it's a DC, whatever, DC. I had this down before we started. It's a DC five flat check still, wherever she is. Well, I'm gonna try to slash her with my nails. Like, I'm going to try to, like, grab out at her. Like, I kind of think I know where you are, you sneaky little minx.

And then she, like, reaches out with her nails and, like, tries to slash at her. Okay. Sorry, DC 11. DC 11 for hidden. Okay, but you still hit that. But that tells you what space she's in as well? No, you're still guessing the space, right? This is the thing that I read this morning

and I completely just fell out of my brain. Like, because I'm supposed to roll the attack for you and I'm supposed to roll the flat check so you don't know if you hit or not. And I'm just trying to remember. There's one little step we're skipping about like you don't know what space. Yeah, I know what space you occupy,

but little else. You're barely perceptible by me. She knows the space. You do know the space. All right, so what's your attack bonus? My attack bonus is... Claws plus what? Um, it's, um...

If you were gonna attack with your claws... You just rolled it. You literally just rolled it. No, no, I rolled to find out where she was. Oh, you only rolled perception. This is a brawling thing. Yeah, so whatever your claws attack is, what's that number? How do you roll for brawling

it should just say like under your weapons claws it might also say like fist or unarmed and then it'll give you some the attack rolls on that it's a feat it should add it to your...

The Eldritch Nails. Yeah, it should just be your unarmed attack, then. Yeah. Which should be under your weapons. Under melee. Offenses. Melee. Melee. Fist. Sorry, I'm using a different character sheet than all of you,

and that is not on here. Okay. Are there any attacks at all on there? Under weapons, no. Under melee, there's no numbers? No, you have to manually add everything. I'm using the Path Builder 2E thing. So it doesn't...

It's plus 10 plus your... Are decks, are claws finesse weapons? I would assume they are. Well, she's just doing one attack, though. Oh, but it might use the deck. That's not agile. Finesse, you would use your deck.

So it would be 10 plus your decks would be the attack. If you're not trained in melee fighting. I don't know anything about that. They're in the brawling group and have the agile and unarmed traits. It doesn't say anything about finesse. Agile and unarmed. So it's not finesse.

It uses your strength. Okay. And you're unarmed. I don't have any. All right, so 10 plus. So just 10. Just 10. Okay. All right, so 10 plus, so just 10. Just 10. Okay.

All right. And then what is it, a flat check DC 5? DC 11. DC 11. All right, so you just, you scratch in that area, and you don't feel like you find purchase upon anything. Dang it! God!

But we know she's, but if you point it, but we see that she's in that corner. Yeah, you feel like she is right in the middle back. And so Eris can tell you that, but you attacked there and didn't feel anything. All right. Round two. It is Aldo's turn.

All right. Aldo is going to throw another acid bomb at that square. Okay. What's your attack bonus? Plus 16. Okay. All right. So the bomb.

This is where it gets stupid. It's just splash damage. No, it's not. Okay. It's not hit what well it's not it's not hidden it didn't hit her you know what i mean that's why it's i hate these stupid gm rules the checks it's fucking dumb uh so i you missed so it's flash damage what's this so it's just four four points of splash damage yeah uh okay Okay. And then, yeah, same again. Same again.

Plus 12. Or plus 11. Sorry. Plus 11. Okay. Yeah, same thing. More splash damage. Four more points.

Okay. You can't just try to target you and just roll the flat check? That's what he's doing. You're supposed to have the GM roll it, so I'm rolling it. I just don't like it. I don't like that. Then don't do it. You don't have to do anything you don't like.

No, I know, but I understand the spirit of it, too. Yeah, it doesn't really make any sense in this case, though, because we know she's there. You know where she's there, yeah. Also, Put-and-Mash Makes a good point Which I've seen before It is an action to point out A creature that you know where it is

And no one else I think Kate had an action left Kate just said you had an action Yeah I was trying to like Grab at her but also scratch her Why are you attacking that empty square Extremely small room. She's right here.

We've got to talk to that weird witch later. All right, Aldo. I'm sorry, buddy. Do you have anything left after this? I'm going to try to do an aid. Can I do an aid with Arcana? Yeah, so save that for when it triggers. And who do you want to help?

I'm going to help Ethel. Ethel, okay. It's Atticus's turn. Okay, Atticus is going to... Man, because I'm running the stream, I keep clicking on the broadcast to move my mini. I've done that before. Yep.

Atticus is going to move down. Now knowing exactly where she is. And taking no penalty because he's so talented. I'm going to use one of my new jaws. It's a little fourth level spell. You've all heard of, though. I don't know if you know how it works in 2E

The dark spell The spell of the darkness As Atticus moves more and more towards the dark A little spell called Enervation Oh, very nice And you are welcome to continue Being invisible I truly don't care Very nice. And you are welcome to continue being invisible. I truly don't care.

And this line of negative energy just goes straight through to the back of the room, hitting any creature in its line, unaffected by your hidden nature. Awesome. Really? Wow. Because it's, unless I'm reading it wrong, but it is essentially an AOE. There is no attack roll. You don't need line of sight. It is a 30-foot line and affects every creature in the line.

Yeah, so she's in that line. That's great. So it is a Fortitude save. All right, you know she's got Juicy Fort. Juicy Fort. I need a low roll. I need a Fumboni. All right, I rolled a three.

Oh, sweet. Let's see, thatumboni. Alright, I rolled a three. Oh, sweet! Uh, let's see, that's going to be a total of a 25. Oh! A 25 is a failure. Yes! There we go. Yes! There we go.

You are drained one, and you will take 4d8 persistent negative damage. Holy shit! Wait. The darkness is real. Holy shit.

Alright, drained. You take a status penalty equal to your unconscious. So my fort goes down by one. My fort's safe. I also lose a number of hit points equal to my level times the drain value and my max hit point.

Holy shit, and I don't get those back even though drain doesn't decrease until I get a full night's sleep. Yeah, we were drained once in one of these dreams, I think. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that fail is huge. That natural three, I mean, dude, a natural four is a success. That's enormous.

That was huge. This is her last Christmas. This is her last Christmas. Very nice save. You gave it away, and you were drained. That's right. So she takes damage, and she's got that minus one to her fourth save. Wow.

Okay, all right. Sorry, sorry. Let's not forget. 4d8 persistent negative energy. Now, is she... She doesn't take that until her turn. It's at the start of her turn. End of her turn, she takes it.

At the end of her turn. So it doesn't tick before that. Before the end of her turn. Still, brutal. We'll see what you roll, before the end of her turn. Still brutal. We'll see what you roll. It's Ethel's turn. Okay, Ethel is going to step forward, first action.

And then second and third action will do a double slice. And I aid. And you aid. So I'm adding plus two? Yep. And what is your explanation of your aid? You're like, eh. Look at that telltale shimmering around the edges

that every undivisible creature. Aim for that. I love that. You still have to roll. Did you hit it? I did roll. Yeah. You got Natty 17.

So do you want to roll the flat check, Troy? You can roll the flat check. Fuck this. So DC, she's DC 11 now because you know what square she's in? Yeah. No, but she's still... Hidden. She's still, no, she's undetected to you, right?

Or did Eris do, is that enough to detect her? When she points out, it becomes hidden. Okay, gotcha. So yeah, DC 11. Basically, hidden is defined as you know the general location of the creature, but almost nothing else about where they are in that space. It's so funny. It's like a typical Pathfinder prep.

I had this down cold, and it just fell out of my brain as we started. I pass the flat check for both attacks. Okay. And I rolled an 18 and a 16. Natural 18, natural 16. What are the totals? For the warhammer, that's going to be a 27 16 So for the Warhammer that's going to be a 27 For the Hatchet that's going to be a Or a 37

And for the Hatchet that's going to be a 33 Those are two hits And she's flat footed No longer flat footed At the start of your turn Okay so Okay 16 points of damage from the Warhammer, bludgeoning.

And then that will be 12 points of damage slashing from the hatchet. Oh my god, okay. And that's your turn, right? And that is my turn. And because I use a production move, I can't do the flensing spike. All right, so I put all my eggs in this one fucking basket to try and pull this off. All right, so she comes out of invisibility.

Bad idea. Because she is casting a spell. And so as she is casting that spell, she is casting that spell on Ethel. That provokes, though, right? No, because she's casting it. The only thing that's making her visible is she's casting an offensive spell.

You know what I mean? So she's invisible, she's casting the spell on you, and she becomes visible. So that doesn't... After the time for your AoO has passed, your reaction ability has passed. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. If she was visible and cast, you cast it. But she's... The only reason things is making her visible is the casting

of the spell. So it already happened she cast the spell and then she becomes visible because it is a hostile spell give me a this is huge this is really really huge um just need to see what the fucking

thing is where is it okay there it is uh give me a will save at a minus two because you're flat-footed to her while she's invisible. Okay. Alright. Use a different die.

Okay. Flat-footed is a minus to everything, including will saves? No, it's this... She has this power called spell ambush. A creature flat-footed takes a minus two penalty to save, so that's why I wanted to go invisible first, because it empowers the attack. That's cool. Spell Ambush.

I think I'm going to use my hero point to reroll. I rolled a 12, which is a real tweener. I feel like this is going to be a real... You're right. You could fumble. That's why we play, isn't it? That's why we show up every morning. It's going to be a real... Yeah. You're right. Better go for the... But you could fumble. But I could fumble. That's why we play, isn't it? And then we play.

That's why we show up every morning. Oh, my God. I rolled a 12 on my first roll, which is going to give me a 26 will. I'm sorry, 24, because of the minus two. And then I rolled a natural one. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh my god! Oh my god.

Holy Oh my god. I was like, just don't do it. Just take the fail. Take the fail. This is why we play the game, isn't it? She just cast Dominate on you.

Oh no! So, failure is, you control the target. It gains the controlled condition. But it can attempt a will save at the end of each of its turns. On a success, the spell ends.

But you critically failed. Critical failure is as failure, but the target receives a new save only if you give it a new order that is against its nature, such as killing its allies. So controlled in this

is you can have it do anything. So Ethel is effectively out of the fight and only gets a save if it's to kill us. Yes. But the good news is that's exactly what she's telling you to do. What? Run?

Kill them. Oh. So that is the command she gives you. And now you take a whole lot of persistent damage. And now I take a whole lot of persistent damage. I now I take a whole lot of persistent damage. I take the 2d8 and the 4d8 and then I guess it would be two separate checks to try and remove these.

Ethel's eyes, I imagine, just like cloud over and go full white. Oh, that's so scary. Looks like he did it in his custody hearing. I can't believe you critically failed on dominate. That's amazing. Alright, give me the 2d8 there, Matthew. Oh, right. I roll it.

Sorry, I was waiting for you. Trying to figure out, like, what if you guys kill her with this persistent? Does the spell keep going? No, it ends when she's dead. Does it? Yeah. But you're controlled, so it's like, what is that? Oh, right. That's a good point. Eight points of damage from the 2d8. Okay. She's visible now, so let's like, what is that? Oh, right, that's a good point. Eight points of damage from the 2d8. Okay, she's visible now, so let me put her out there.

All right, eight points of damage from the 2d8. And 19 from the 4d8. All right, she's still cooking. Was that mental damage? No, that was... It was the innervation of the missile tray. Negative damage. It doesn't have the mental trait. Yeah, I figured.

It is necromancy, arcane, and negative. Okay. It's basically death. It is like taking your life away as opposed to a mental thing. It's purely physical. Ethel is completely dominated and it is Eris's turn. Can you kill her before it comes back to Ethel is completely dominated and it is Eris's turn

can you kill her before it comes back to Ethel's turn I'm gonna try um I'm gonna cast the thing that I was going to do that first time um I'm casting organ sight so I'm trying to see

her as though she's dissected in like a raid for me I'm trying to find a vital organ to stab, stab with something. Um, and to do that, I need to do a recall knowledge check using medicine to spot that organ. Oh,

that's cool. And I don't fully understand what that means. I know. You just roll a medicine check. Yeah. And then I, I, I know what the DC or I'll,

I think the DC is in here somewhere. And then if you hit that, then you can, what is this thing called? Organ what? Oh, you'll see what happens when I, if I hit it. No, but let me look it up just in case.

Yeah, it's organ sight. So if I succeed, the next time I deal piercing damage or slashing damage, I deal 4d6 additional precision damage. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's like a one-two punch kind of thing. Okay. Alright, so

you get a plus two bonus on medicine checks. Oh, wait. Recall, child, you're using medicine to spot a violet. If you have the lore skill, you can use that. You don't? Okay, great. So recall some knowledge. I have a plus nine

because I have untrained unquavization. Okay. That is a 20 medicine check. That is a 20 medicine check. What is the level of that spell? It is a level three spell. That's okay. Yep, you succeeded.

Nice. Okay, so I got her all right out in front of me, and I see her heart or something, or her liver or whatever. Did you guys ever play that Mortal Kombat when the fatalities would sometimes like slow down and show you the internal organs? That's exactly what's happening right now. I'm focusing.

I'm taking out my kukri and I'm going to stab at that. Clancy Noct says the pancreas wouldn't be very fast, but it would be painful. That's true. All right, so that was two actions. You've got one action left. Is your next action to draw the cookie or did you already have it out?

Hmm. I don't know if I already had it out. I feel like maybe we could imply it, but I mean, no, I was trying to grab her last round with my nails. So you can draw the cookie so it's ready to go. No, no. So you know what? Telekinetic projectile, something sharp in the room

that can do beers and damage. Like a freaking crack pipe. Yeah. Yes. Okay. So I'm going to do that. All right, that's one action, telekinetic projectile. Make a spell attack roll.

Let's see. Yeah, you should have a spell. Oh, telekinetic projectile is two actions. Oh, goddammit. Can't you just claw her? Yeah, I'll claw her with my sharp nails I guess alright roll a d20 and add 10 roll a d20 and add 10 oh shit

that went crazy 14 24 it's a miss you could hit though those sharp claws would have done it are you serious that's okay cause now you can next round draw the kukri and kill away if she's not already dead. It is.

Round three. And it's Aldo's turn. Aldo, she's on the ropes. Okay. But Ethel has been dominated. All right. I'm going to try, probably say that this is happening to Ethel.

I'm going to try to free him before he goes, if I possibly can. By killing her, I'm going to throw another bottle of lightning. Oh, that is a fucking fast math. 29. 29 to hit. Yes. Is she flat-footed still? No.

I was trying to make her flat-footed. All right. Well, all right. I'll do it again. I'll do it again. She's trying to make her flat-footed. All right. Well, all right. I'll do it again. She's hard to hit. She sure is. Sorry. And I can't read these dice.

Yeah, another miss. I'm just going to try to, well. That's, I'll throw another one. Do any of those have splash? Yeah, actually they do. Okay, so that's eight points of splash, and I'll throw another one. That's another miss, but another four.

Okay, so that's 12 points of splash damage. You know, nothing wrong with 12 points of splash damage when she's on the ropes like this. Yeah. All right, and now Atticus's turn. Atticus, you Atticus is staying in the dark lane This is it, by the way

This is it The question is Is Ethel You know what, you guys play this however you want I don't think Ethel's going to see this coming Atticus is going to I'm going to say that Atticus knows what's going on here.

The whites of the eyes. All of a sudden he goes rigid. She touched him. We know she's a mental controlling kind of creature. He's not gonna mess around. And he's going to try to snap Ethel out of it while also doing some damage. And he's just going to

fire a lightning bolt straight through Ethel and her it while also doing some damage. He's just going to fire a lightning bolt straight through Ethel and her at the same time. Dang! Can it hit Ethel too? He's going to hit Ethel too. Reflex save? Reflex save. Okay.

Don't fumble me. I did. I rolled pretty high. I rolled pretty high. I rolled very high. 34. I rolled great. I rolled great. Okay, but you guys both passed,

so you take half damage. Let me just look at her hit points. I rolled a 31. That's, what, 15? 15 points of electricity damage. She's still up. God damn it! You know, Troy, you can say whatever you want.

You're not... If I didn't know what was happening next, I certainly would fudge a roo here, but now it's Ethel. Can I go to the bathroom then? Yes, of course. Ethel is right in the middle.

Can attack literally anyone. Eris, Atticus, or Eldo. Hold on a second. It's also like this commanding. Is this just free? Does it have an action associated with it? It does not have an action. Oh, great.

It even says doesn't count against her actions. Or typically doesn't count against her actions. Or typically doesn't count against her actions. So I'm going to have you do three attacks, and then you'll get to roll your will save, because even though you fumbled, this is the one condition that allows you to. I could have just said, like, wake up. Well, wait, why doesn't he roll his will save

before he starts swinging it? This is the command that triggers it. It's at the end of your turn. The failure is it gains the controlled condition but can attempt a It's at the end of your turn. The failure is it gains the controlled condition but can attempt a will save at the end of its turn. Unless it tries to hit one of us. Unless it tries to issue a command that is against its... But it's as failure, which allows the will save at the end of the turn.

But the whole point is the target gets that save only if I try to command it to do something. So it's as failure. The failure condition is you get to roll that save at the end of the turn. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, but you change... The command you're doing is against the creature's nature at the beginning

of his turn. Right, but that first as failure... But then it modifies it. But the target receives a new save. Right, but the point is, like, if I don't tell you to harm your allies or kill yourself, you don't get that save. The only thing that allows you to get that save at the end of your turn is if I actually... I think that's on the failure. It's like, oh, if you just fail, at the end of each turn, every six seconds, you can get a new save.

Now, the way you did it, you get the new save if you issue a command. No, because that makes it better than failure. Failure, if you just failed, I could be like, attack your allies with all three actions, and you would have to do it, and then you get the will save. No, I think the benefit is,

you could say, leave. That's not against my nature, and I would never stop being under your control unless I pass that save at the end of the turn. In this case, you're saying, oh, you want me to do something actively against my nature, I get the turn. In this case, you're saying, oh, you want me to do something actively against my nature. I get the same.

The chat's agreeing with me. I'm going to stick with my interpretation. But here's the good news. I'm going to let you attack each person once. And we'll do it... Why don't we start with Eris? Why? I'm just throwing it out there. I'll roll randomly for the first person.

One, two, three, four, five, six. All right, so the first person is Aldo. And then one, two, three, four. Second person is... Got Aldo three times. Four times. Five times would have been Aldo. All right, then the next person is Atticus.

So Aldo first attack, Atticus second attack,o, first attack. Atticus, second attack. Eris, third attack. Which weapon would you prefer, since this is bullshit? Everyone in the chat's agreed. Three people agreed with you. Everyone's agreeing with me. Statistically, 100% of people agree with me. It just makes sense the way I'm explaining it.

It makes sense to you because you want it to happen. It doesn't make any sense at all. You're reading it incorrectly. The failure condition would be like attack somebody, and then you get a will save. Or it could be like jump off a bridge, and then you get a will save. Critical is it's like failure. Jump off a bridge, and then you get a will save? Do you realize what you just said?

No, I know. But I can tell you to do anything. The critical failure is go wait in my office. You're under my control for the rest of your life. Sure. The critical failure is, go wait in my office. You're under my control for the rest of your life. Sure, but if I say to do something that's against your nature, you actually get the will save that you get at the end of your turn as failure. No, right then. You're definitely wrong on this.

I'm definitely right, but just tell me which weapon to use. You're going to feel funny when the Reddit explains how wrong you are. Now, roll the attack against Aldo, and then Atticus, then Aerith. Whatever does the most damage. Warhammer. Natural 2. 21. Miss.

21 against Aldo. Miss. Fumble. Atticus next. Fumble. I think he's so distraught he doesn't take any more attack. Yeah, that's so surprising. Who's next, Atticus or Error? Next up is Atticus. Same weapon?

Is that good? Whatever's easier to hit. Okay, that's a natural 17. 31 to hit. Sorry, Joe. That's alright, that is a hit. What is this spell called? Dominate? Troy's totally right. I read the rules And he's right

Sorry Maybe you believe Kate Kate, I know I liked you I mean, I follow the rules You can't help it 14 points of damage, Joe Still up Are you that close, Atticus?

No, I was just being dramatic. Oh, that's fine. You, like, turn to Aeris, and she's like, Ethel, I thought we had something going on. Thought we were connecting. Nine to hit. Nine? Nine to hit Aeris.

Oh, no, that doesn't hit me. Immediately kills her. All right. I knew you liked me. Pretty damn close. Didn't quite do enough damage, but Atticus got a little beat up. And now it is her turn again. She actually gets a turn, but this is not going to go well.

Let's see. All right, so we've dominated. Okay, let's... She is going to do a... She's going to attempt to... Like, her jaw unhinges, and she goes to bite Atticus. You mean Aldo?

No, Atticus. Pass to Ethel. Oh, you're not? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm coming at you, Ethel, with a 30. Oh, no, you're on my team. All right. So one, two, Eris, three, four, Aldo.

That's Aldo, I'm sorry. 30 against Aldo? That's a hit. All right. Aldo. That's Aldo, I'm sorry. 30 against Aldo? That's a hit. Hits Aldo for 9 points of damage, 2 points of evil damage,

and now roll a fortitude save. That is a 29 fortitude. You have contracted abyssal plague from her mouth Jesus You're drained one Oh no

Her teeth have given you the plague from the abyss Okay Alright, so that's her first action, and then for her final two actions, she will do something known as Oh, I didn't get my will suit that's her first action and then for her final two actions she will do something known as oh I didn't get my will suit oh yes you do get your

will suit it was on natural 15 but I want to be honest appreciate that bail uh alright and then with her final action two actions she will do sorry I have so many fucking tabs open

where's my night hack she'll do something called shadow blast you shape the quasi real substance of the shadow plane into a blast choose acid, bludgeoning, cold electricity, fire, force, piercing slashing or sonic damage

then choose a 30 foot cone a 15 footfoot burst, or a 50-foot line. It deals 5d8 of the type of damage you chose to each creature in the area. I'm just going to do a 30-foot cone on all of you. 2, 7,

11, 18, 26. Everybody roll a... You actually get to choose reflex or will. It says target's choice. And it's all of us? Yeah. What kind of damage is this?

It's going to be fire damage. Cool. Cool. Cool. I will take reflex. Okay. It's a 30. Cool. I will take reflex. Okay. It's a 30. 33?

My will and reflex are the same. Fail. 24 reflex. All right. I was going to tell you, 19. It could be a fumble. All right, so Aldo failed, and Ethel critically failed. Oh, my God.

Holy shit. So Ethel takes 52 points of damage. Aldo takes 26. And you guys take 13. Eris and Atticus. That doesn't have any that has no effect on the Dominate, right?

It doesn't. However, the persistent damage then kills her. Good job. I knew she was ready. She was ripe. She was ripe. The only reason I kept... She had two hit points left after that final attack with the

lightning bolt, and so I had to see what Ethel could do. So she dies, and as she falls to the ground, the folds of her robe open up, and you see her breast you see the heart stone

the fourth gift that you'll need the mad parent grab a bunch of drugs and then wake up and we'll see you in Philly for the Christmas drama land. Good night everybody. Good night everybody Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone.

Merry Christmas, y'all. Happy Thanksgiving, too. Happy Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah. Have a migraine. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else,

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