The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 56 – Lurid Dreaming

Episode Date: December 6, 2022

With two gifts left to retrieve, the heroes enact the Dreamlands Excursion Ritual, but upon waking, something feels very wrong. This episode was sponsored by Dauntless Snacks. For 10% off your next order, use code GCNNAISH at https://dauntlesssnacks.com/ Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa and Sydney Amanuel as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/m_EcmmwHecw Recap 18:08 Gameplay 25:00 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Here we go! Here we go! Haul out the holly Put up a tree before my spirit falls again Matthew! Hang up the stockings Close it up! Right here, remember We may be rushing things But deck the halls again now

Everybody! For we need a little Christmas Right at the very minute Candles in the window Carols at the spinning Yes, we need a little Christmas Right this very minute Candles in the window Carols at the spinning Yes, we need a little Christmas Right this very minute It hasn't snowed a single for it

But Santa, dear, we're in a hurry I got him! I got him! Bottlecap! I finally made it happen. Troy sang a musical theater song on the stage. I did what needed to be done. How we doing, Philly?

Oh, baby, in this dumpster fire of a world we live in, we need a little Christmas now more than ever. Happy Christmas, Merry Hol ever. Happy Christmas. Merry holidays. It's my favorite show of the year. Let's do this, Glass Cannon. Yay, baby! Where my nog heads at tonight?

Any nog heads? I heard a lot of groans. I whipped myself up a little yellow Russian backstage. It's a little behind the scenes showbiz secret Cream based alcoholic drinks are good for the vocal cords They don't tell you that

in acting school Sid you're drinking one right? Yeah you made me one and you said here drink this and I said no thank you and you said here you go Mixing that with wine is an excellent choice And beer here, drink this. And I said, no thank you. And you said, here you go. Mixing that with wine is an excellent choice.

And beer. And a pale ale. No, I asked for it. Troy said he was making eggnogs and I was like, please. And I will regret it in about five minutes, but for now, love it. It's delicious. I've got a beach towel up here because I'm so fucking hot.

I don't know why I did this again this year, but I can't help it. Look at this group we got up here tonight, huh? We got Skid, Matthew, Kate, Joe, and Sydney. You guys like this group? I like this group too. So you know what I'm going to do? This is the cast of the 2023 tour.

How about that? Is that good? You know, Kate has a real job, right? Did you run this by her? We'll talk about it later. I told them, I'm like, listen, I'm also a gamer, a professional gamer and I need to go on tour.

Yeah. So. That must have wowed them in the interviews. Yeah, they were like, you're hired. Yeah,

whenever you go to a job interview, it's always good to tell them when you can't work. All right, first off, what are your weaknesses?

I'm unavailable. I'm unavailable for four months out of the year. I'll take it a step further. I like this cast so much. This is the cast of the new Glass Cannon podcast. Coming this spring. This is it.

This is the cast. This is it! This is the cast. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers, Jeff. I didn't run that by Kate either, but... I am so excited. This is obviously a new venue for us this year.

It's very fancy, and they'll never invite us back after they hear the show. Yeah. But my God, are there 3,000 people here tonight? Yeah. It sounds like it. Jeez.

And you're all dressed up. You got Christmas sweaters on. Yeah. Love you guys. Awesome. You look so good. I mean, there are so many dressed up people in the audience. It's amazing.

I love the Christmas trees. You guys who are Christmas trees, you're my favorite. It's always good to pick favorites during the holidays. My sister is here. I am so proud and happy to have her here. I love her so much. And I know that she's here because her... She's blinking in the back!

There we go. Draped in Christmas lights, she ripped off her house five minutes before she came in. Well, folks, I'm sure most of you know the people up here, but I'm going to now introduce you to two very cool people and three people who struggle to satisfy their lovers. And I'm going to let you decide what that breakdown is.

There's always the after party to test the theory. First up is the Cindy Lou Who. Sorry. A little late on that one, sorry. That's okay. No, right on time. This is the Cindy Lou Who of the network, who, after last year's show,

he had to leave right away before going to the VIP because his wife was to give birth to his child any moment. And now, just under a year later, she's already taller than him. Give it up for Matthew Capitacaz, everybody. Matty Caps.

Matty Caps. Am I the Cindy Lou Who because I'm short, because I need the spirit of Christmas explained to me, or because I'm your conscience? I think... Wow, how dare you? You're ruining Christmas! Santa Claus, why? Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?

There's a light on this side. Are you doing all right, buddy? You having a good Christmas so far? I'm doing okay. I think I gave you the Christmas bug a little early this year. No, I haven't. I celebrate Christmas with great fervor. Just at a very defined timeline.

That is the opposite of fervor. It's because of the concentration that I can excite the fervor within me. God, you just made Christmas so boring. Right on time. Right on time. Right on time.

Next up, she is the new kid on the block around these parts. And speaking of which, rumor has it she has every new kid of the block tattooed on her body. I want to know where Donnie Wahlberg is. Give it up for Kate Savitz! Where's Donnie? He's on my butt. Show him. Donnie's on my butt!

On my butt. How dare you? He's an American treasure. How are you? Are you happy to be here? Eh, yeah. How come you're so dry in comparison to me?

That's just dry wine. We're so glad to have you here. Next up, she's just dry wine. We're so glad to have you here. Next up, she's just a skater girl. She said, see you later, girl. She's going to eat her snacks on mic. Give it up for Cindy Emanuel! She's just a skater girl.

Are you talking to me? I was going to put little presents in all the stockings, and I didn't have time, but I had a feed bag in the cart on Amazon for you. Just give a little feed bag so you can snack while you're eating. She's hanging around her neck. But you did do all of these decorations, which are adorable. I also did put little presents in everybody's stockings.

I put all these stockings up, and everybody gets them. Do you want me to give them? Do you want them now? Are they unique to each of us? Nope. Oh. Well, let's just open one then. We'll give us a lot of time in the edit.

No, there is one thing that is unique. Okay. Did you give yourself a gift, too? No. What's in your stocking? Nothing. Why are you looking is one thing that is unique. Okay. Did you give yourself a gift, too? No. What's in your stocking? Nothing. Why are you looking at mine? Go get your stocking.

No. No, don't touch my stocking. What's in there? No. No, they each have little snacks, of course. I love snacks. But they all have a little ornament for you guys in there that is themed. Oh.

So you can open it later, but I wasn't lying when I said I was going to make stockings for everybody, and I knitted all of these. Thank you. You knit these? No, you didn't knit these. Oh my god! I believed you! I'm sorry that I lied. You see the betrayal in

Kel Kate's face? How could you lie I told her last night, I was like, don't tell anyone, but I knit all those stockings. And I'm going to put them up for everybody. And Kate was like, oh my God, that's so nice. But I didn't. I bought them on Amazon. It was very easy for me.

Just kidding. Love you guys. I love all of you. I'm having a great Christmas. It was very sweet. You even did these lights back here. It's beautiful. They did little Christmas lights.

What's going on? It's nice. You did a very good job. I would have done it differently, but you did a good job. Everyone knows the King of the Jews was born on Christmas Day in the year of our Lord, A.D. 1. Zero. Zero. A.D. Zero. It's the nog talking.

It's C.E. now, not A. Zero. 80-0. It's the nog talking. It's C-E now, not 80. All right. Well, three years later, the king of the nerds was born. Give it up for Skidmore, everybody! Skid! Skid, you were playing Christmas music in the dressing room, and it was the best thing that we've ever done backstage. Yeah.

The interpersonal dynamics backstage were very funny with the two new cast members. It was like a Christmas version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. We all started to fall into different roles. There were two dads. I was the uncle who just showed up. And then Kate and Sidney were the two teenage daughters.

We were doing it as a bit, but it was very funny. And Troy was the brother in the onesie, the younger brother. The younger brother didn't want to come home for Christmas. But I have to say also, I love coming here. I love coming to Philadelphia. And this time, for the first time ever,

those of you who follow me on Instagram probably know that I was able to finally visit Four Seas and Soto Landscaping today. I stood out in the rain. The most famous landmark in the state of Pennsylvania. Absolutely. I was saying to my friend, it really should be a national monument.

And I'm not joking. And I was sitting there, and I was by myself. I was like, man, this is great. I was kind of wishing Matthew would be there, because it actually reminded me of when we went to Dealey Plaza. And I was just like, well, that's kind of weird. And he's just like, no, it actually makes sense, because they're both places that I'd seen on TV and elsewhere a lot of times. I'm finally visiting them for the first time. And they're also

sites that mark the rather abrupt end of American presidencies. So it's like, they're basically the same place. This is the place where a shot was fired through the heart of American democracy. And yet we survived. That's right. And this is Dealey Plaza. Yeah.

Finally, folks, he is Philly's native son. And no one better exemplifies this sad excuse for an American city. He'll be the first person I call, text, and berate when the Eagles are knocked out of the playoffs. After finally facing a team with a winning record. In a land of roast porks with broccoli rob, he is a cheesesteak in the gutter. Covered in cum.

Give it up for Joe O'Brien, everybody! That's what you are! Oh, it's so good to be back! Billy Joe! It's so good to be back. That's what you are That's what you are Philly Joe So good to be back Philly Joe Philly Joe Philly Joe

I love it, I love it I am Philly Joe in my heart of hearts Yeah, it's so great to be back I love the city, I love walking the streets of the city It makes me feel like Christmas every time I come back. And not only because of this show, because that's when I always used to come home, you know? It's Christmas time. So, yeah, it's great to be here, and it's great to be here with Kate and Sydney.

They met my sister today. You know what I mean? It's cool to, like, share this with the family. And I'm sure they're going to meet the nation. Also, I've got to say that I've got a shout-out from the Degenerate Dungeon. For'm sure they're going to meet the nation. Also, I got to say that I got a shout out from the Degenerate Dungeon for those of you that watch that.

Crickets. Yeah. Big gambling crowd here tonight, aren't they? Big sports crowd. Hollywood Hagen and David the Woodman Wood here in the audience.

They're Philly based. So a big round of applause for those guys. Yeah, it's awesome to be home. It's good to be home. You know, we do, we say this a lot to ingratiate ourselves To the local crowd

But this really is our favorite show of the year Yes And it's the last show of the year We won't be back with this until Thursday, January 5th I believe is going to be a stream And the podcast will release the next week But we're off tour now until

April it looks like. We're going to be taking a little break while we gear up to record the new show and find a new space and everything. But we're hoping we'll be back in April with multiple stops in Canada. So that'll be exciting. And then, you know, once...

Not a lot of Canadian fans here. That's cool. I'm ecstatic You weren't invited Don't worry about it Oh No you can come They can't

But we Once we find out When PAX Unplugged is next year We'll be Begging to come back To City Winery Yeah we'll be Begging them

To let us come back To this amazing venue Huge round of applause Please For City Winery Everyone That has worked here has been amazing, from the first person I met when I walked in the door

to everybody that did the tech and the backstage and everything. It's been amazing. And also a huge thank you to McD, our community manager, who's amazing and set all this up for us and everything. So thank you, McD. McD! McD! Great job.

Yeah, this is hands down one of the best experiences we've had on tour. This has been amazing. Yeah, this is one of the hands-down, one of the best experiences we've had on tour. This has been amazing. Yeah, this has been amazing. It's been terrific. And tonight's show is once again sponsored by Dauntless Snacks!

Yeah! Guy who owns this company. Are you here tonight, Jay? He's on his way. He thought the show was at 8. Tell him we talked about his project.

No, Jay is a cool dude. He was a fucking sergeant in the Marine Corps, and he started this business after being inspired by us knuckleheads, which is really, really cool. So please go to dauntlessnacks.com and enter the code GCNNASH to get 10% off your order. And here's the thing. If you don't, then we're not going to bring Kate to any more shows.

Okay? What did I do? Drink your wine. We just can't afford this. Just go back to your wine. Why don't you drink your wine? I love these. I got these next to my computer,

and when Joe tricks me into a meeting, he's just droning on for an hour and a half, and I want to just throw myself into traffic. I snap into one of these Johns, and it really lifts my spirits and gets me through the rest of the meeting with Joe. So please. In fact, we've got two winners of some snack packs tonight,

and I'm going to give our local resident beef enthusiast the chance to go out into the crowd and deliver these packages to Noah Myers. Yeah! Raise your hand, you son of a bitch! What about Alyssa Jorgensen? Are they too heavy to just throw? Or Jorgensen?

It's a Christmas beef delivery. Ha ha, loud. Ha holly. Have some beef. You know what goes good with wine? Meat sticks. You're not reaching. You're not meat.

Stop throwing your meat sticks. I thought about giving it to the second person, but I might just keep it. It's so heavy. It's so much beef. There's so much glass. Don't throw it. Dauntless snacks. I'm not... I can't say with absolute certainty, but I would wager

a guess that this is the first time any meat sticks Have been passed from the stage at City Winery Into the crowd I'll tell you what, it won't be the last What a weird threat What it means is that possibly The City Winery marketing person Is sitting in the crowd right now

And is just texting like How did we not think of this? Why are wineries up in the crowd right now and is just texting like, how did we not think of this? Why are wineries up in the booth? Douglas snacks you. Mr. C. Winery has a message for us. Mr. C. Winery. It goes so well with the wine. I think we should

probably start the show. I wish I weighed myself before the show and afterwards for the amount of sweat that is going into this hot suit. Oh, don't worry. You're going to make it up, because I think that that nog itself is 11 pounds. Just keep rehydrating with your yellow Russian. I'm sure it'll be good.

It's really delicious. The way it coagulates in my throat. Joe, do you have any music? Any hot recap music? Oh, yeah. We always got the hot recap. John! Let Kate play it, though.

Kate knows. Kate, play the music. Kate, take it to the music. It's about me and Ethel. Or Eris and Ethel. It's about me and Ethel. Or Eris and Ethel. It's okay. Lots of people have crushes on Ethel. He's emotionally unavailable, though,

so what are you going to do? It's just so hot. Just watch his kids back. I don't know if you know this, but Dauntless Snacks are aphrodisiacs. We were crushing them backstage. Kate did some sexy dancing backstage. Yeah, we were like, I was doing dance, and Joe came up, and I said,

he said, let's do a Christmas dance, and the camera guy was shooting it, and then Kate came out and dropped it like it was hot. Boom! It was like a dropped it like it was hot. Boom! It was like a way in a manger was playing. I'm just doing the spirit of my sweater being hot, sticky sweet from my head to my feet. Yeah. There you go.

I like it. But instead it was Josh Groban. If you just believe. Twerking to Silent Night. What are we doing? Recap. Recap. Recap.

Merry Christmas. We just have to know. It's marshmallow world. All right, here we go. So if you haven't followed our now four-year story thus far, like all of the workers here at City Wanderer, our heroes are trying to track down a man named... Joe?

Count Hasterton Lowes. Nailed it. Nailed it. Nailed it. The fourth. Thank you, Matthew. Bottle cap. No, he's Bottle cap.

No, he's already got one. In addition to being a part of the nobility, this count is also a bit of a wannabe scholar. I'm a scholar. I'm a scholar. And after he published some books that were laughed at by his peers, it seems that the count, in an effort to raise his status

in the community, fell down the dark hole of researching that knowledge that no man should have. Eldritch knowledge, Joe. It's terrifying. It truly is. This is knowledge of worlds and creatures beyond the dark tapestry of the cosmos. So now some of our heroes used to work for this man, and at some point the Count had something done to them, which erased their memories and then left them in an asylum to rot. When they got out of the asylum, which had its own host of interdimensional problems, they then went to the town that the Count presided over and dealt with the mess the Count left behind. Now they're hot on the trail of Lowell's,

who they know is heading south in search of an eldritch tome known as the Necronomicon. The Count learned about the location of this book by traveling to the Dreamlands and meeting with a person known as the mad poet so our heroes are on this boat journey and they have been traveling to the dreamlands as well using this dreamlands excursion ritual that the count used in search of gifts to present to the mad poet so that they may speak to him

and learn what the count is up to. You guys want to share what you're talking about with the fucking crowd? Sydney was just like, take off that robe. Um, um, teacher. Teacher, I just want to say that was taken out of context, and also, Joe's cheating. I'm stealing from a Bill Burr bit,

but you read back the court transcript, and she says, I didn't say it like that! I didn't say it like that! If you talk during my recap, you start the game with no bottle caps, so no bottle caps for either of you. That's not very Christmas spirit of you. Fuck you, Joe.

Fuck you. Do you want your cap? Oh. Yes. You know what? It's fine. Don't be so bad. I'll call up Donnie Wahlberg so fast.

You know you're on the button. I've lost my place. They're taking these... Here's the thing, what they're doing. They're taking these dreamland excursion rituals, as one does, to try and find these gifts so they can present them to the mad poet,

so they can talk to him and be like, well, what's going on with the count? And you've got to show up with gifts. It's just the rule. So now they've got four gifts out of five trips. They need

two more. One of the five trips to the dimensions of dreams, they all died, except one of them. And when you die in the dreamlands, the good thing is you don't die in real life, but you wake up in the real world with some sort of madness. Aldo, our mad scientist, has not wake up in the real world with some sort of madness. Aldo, our mad scientist, has not

died yet in the dreamlands. But he's crazy enough. Atticus, our rat folk wizard, has died twice in the dreamlands because he's played by a bad player. But now Atticus

has the even greater mental affliction of cognitive dissonance. Every time he tries to cast a spell, it might not work, because he's stupid. Like the player that plays him. It's very method. Yes. And then all three of your

new companions have a madness as well. Ethel Merman, the human fighter, is tormented with night terrors, leaving him constantly fatigued. Eris, the flesh-warp witch, is terrified of water. And Suki! I'm fine. So she thinks.

The elf druid thinks she's fine, but something doesn't feel right. So your last trip to the deep dreamlands was to acquire a heart stone of a night hag. After completing the dream ritual, you found yourself in this den of iniquity in the Dreamlands city of Dyloth Lean, where you learned that assassins were out to kill this night hag. Her name was Quevi Andras. You struck a deal with the hag to flush out these assassins, and if you did that, you'd get her heart stone. But after you found out who was trying to kill her, you sided with the assassin and killed the night

hag. Because she was dealing in dirty business. She's a soul trader. And she was trying to trade souls in the dreamlands. Now you all awaken. Back on the boat. Selling Starling. With two

gifts left to go. Two more trips to the dreamlands and a boat journey ahead that has been fraught with its own perils. It is day 62 of your journey. What do you do? Can I bring something up? Of course, Ethel, of course. So, uh, when you hired me, uh, you talked about being followed by this red ship, and how some of your friends have been killed by this, like, Draculisk, as I think, as I remember, am I right? Draculisk?

I don't appreciate the tone in which you say this as if it's no small thing. I'm not saying small thing. Quite the opposite. No, I think it's just the way he talks. I think it's just like we have to get used to that sort of... It's just the sort of tone of voice. His culture is... Yeah, I mean, maybe it's a cultural thing.

It's like sort of an accent that makes you think he doesn't care. But he actually maybe does. Very confusing. No, I do care. I care that we're being pursued or maybe we're pursuing. It was unclear to me when I took this gig. But are we going to be killed by someone when we keep doing these sleepy rituals?

Oh yes, most certainly. Should we be at all concerned about that? I know I'm like your resident security guy. I know, but we need you in the dream worlds as well so it's like you know we can't just leave you here to watch over our sleeping bodies because we need you in there so there's no real solution except for to just hope for the best we don't want to do any kind of like investigation about being followed by no no no no no cool cool well no. Cool, cool.

Well, it's like we're on a river, so there's no, like, let's follow some tracks. Like, you can't do that, so we might as well just leave it. Okay. Wait. Someone's trying to kill us while we sleep? No, not necessarily, no.

Well, maybe. I didn't know that. Yeah, there's a lot you guys haven't filled us in on. What was the bit about you being in a mental asylum? Well, no, that was a long time ago. That was many months ago. Unjustly. Unjustly.

Yeah, no, we weren't... Against our very will, into an asylum. Yeah. And the mental illnesses that we've incurred have only happened since we left. So that shouldn't be a mark against us. I'm just... You made me feel weird when I joined the group.

Like, I was the weird one. And I'm finding out... It might have had something to do with the mouth in your throat. Oh, the mouth in my throat. Or your chicken hands. Oh, my chicken hands. Well, I was never committed to an asylum, and I don't have someone trying to kill me in my sleep.

Good morning. I just woke up. I'm sorry I'm late. What did I miss? We were talking about Eris's chicken hands and maybe how the others shouldn't be too judgy No, I meant before When you went to the dreamland I'm so sorry

I didn't feel well I'm sure everything's fine with me Anyway I heard arguing No, you missed a rather Interesting dream Anyway, I heard arguing. No, you miss a rather interesting dream in which we encountered a hag and quite quickly recovered her hearthstone. There's really not much to say about it. No, we were quite successful here.

Quite successful. That's good news, right? Because you needed the... So there are only two left. And Ethel is bringing up a concern that though we may go to sleep tonight looking for the sixth gift we might leave our asleep unconscious bodies

open to attack. Of course. From some unknown predator. Sure. Which is a valid concern. Well it is, but you can't spend your whole life worrying, can you? Right. You could get hit by a bus crossing the street. You could get hit by a bus! For example. As they're arguing,

Zuki goes back up to the top of the boat and I'd like to do a perception check to see if there's a fucking ship following us. You dummies. Roll it. I think you're dumb. Can I do that? You're the dummy.

Damn it. It's a natural one. Oh, okay. She falls off the boat. What was the question? I was just rolling for fun. I was rolling a perception check to see if the ship was following.

To see what I see. I'm looking for the ship. See if we're being followed. You see a ship following you. Really? No, only she does. She's stupid. Oh, right.

Suki runs back downstairs. It's actually there. Stop it. What? What? You shut your mouth when you're talking to me That's rude We run upstairs

You look and you see Upstairs Upstairs We have to get these nautical charts Like a true naval veteran You see a big tree that kind of looks like a boat Right there But there's no boat there

It's right there It's not a boat It's a tree on the shore It might be a boat one day It's true It's true She does have the gift of foresight It's a tree on the shore. It might be a boat one day. It's true. She does have the gift of foresight. It's true.

Well spotted. Very impressive. Suki thinks about that. She gets real quiet. Staring out at the tree. Look, Ethel, all I can say, wind in our hair, your concerns are valid, but there is nothing we can do about them at the tree. Look, Ethel, all I can say, wind in our hair, your concerns are valid, but there is nothing we can do about them at the time. We must trust that our captain has our best interests in mind

and will alert us should the ship come under attack. When we're in the dreamlands and if we're attacked, can someone wake us up? Oh, yes. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Absolutely, yes. The audio audience has no idea that I said that. No idea what's funny. Speak confidently.

Wait, I have an excellent idea. I'll just go talk to Xantar. And I go talk to Xantar. King of the zoo? Is he feeling well enough? I knock on his door. The pretender king of the zoo. Xantar, it's Suki.

Oh, I see you're still feeling unwell. I just wanted to say, when we go to sleep next, it would be advisable if you watched over our bodies. Oh, go away. Oh. I understand. I have a real connection with animals. And like you, a part animal. I understand. I have a real connection with animals.

And like you, a part animal. I understand you. He's at peace. I go back. He might be dead. Oh. No, he... No.

Rest well, my liege. He's fine. Do not disturb the king's slumber. Do not disturb the king and his slumber. So that option's out. I just thought it was a good idea. So you're worried that if you fall asleep and the boat gets under attack

that someone may not wake you up in time to help. Or even if they tried, they couldn't. So is that a thing? Do we know? You don't know. It hasn't been put to the test yet. In fact, you do know that while you were asleep, people did weird stuff to you. Oh, actually, that's true.

And you didn't wake up from that. That is true. Yeah, but a couple of yellow Russians will take care of that. Tell me about it. I'm already tapped. Yeah, so you don't know. I mean, you can ask and hope, but you do not know. Luckily, you only have two more trips left to go.

So if you can get it done quickly, it may not even be a problem. But there is always the chance that the night you go to the dreamlands is the night that something bad happens to the boat. Great. Well, thanks for hearing me out. Let's do your sleepy thing again. You've got to do some more research. We must do some more research. got to do some more research. We must do some more research. We must do some more research first.

We have to study. The next item on the list is a captain's tricorn. Oh, nice. Yeah, captain's tricorn. Love a good tricorn. And then the one after that is a red-webbed foot. So that's it. You have four out of five.

You know that you're going to need at least these next two to feel confident in approaching the Mad Poet. You've taken on some new people. You got rid of all those thralls. They went to that fishing community. I'll save O.J. Simpson, who decided to stay. Again, O.J., A-Y, S-Y-M, P-S-O-N.

Oddly left out of the recap, which is disappointing. And still called the juice, though. He's still on the boat, but then you've got this Senator Emilio Daldemain, who you are delivering south on the way to Taldor, to this

area of the Verduran Forest, where he's supposed to meet up with some group known as the Stardust Augers, who knew that he was going to be killed by the Revolutionary Council and said, we will offer you safety. So he sent his wife and his children down there, and he's traveling with three of his associates.

And so you've got these four people on the boat as well. Right, and just to clarify, dropping this noble and his people off is of value to us because he has a lot of sway in this city that we're going to. He's got money. And he's promised you money. Yeah, and he's promised us money if we get him there. So this is also a very important deal. In fact, Ethel

would probably risk death just to get this amount of money. I risk death every day. Mostly because half my stuff now resides with my ex-wife. Ethel's going through a lot. So you begin your research as you become a little closer with the senator and his entourage. Did we ever determine if the senator is like a fascist?

Is he a good guy? No, he seems cool. I think he's a good guy, right? He's very handsome, as Troy has pointed out many times. Every time he introduces him, he says the handsome senator. He's handsome in a cherub-y sort of way. Fascists are never handsome.

It's never something they use to disguise their views. That's true. It is known. So you are doing some research night after night. I said it's day 62. Maybe over the next

four or five days you dig into some research about the Captain's Tricorne. You're reading books in Lowell's chest titled Emotions of the Past, The Shadow's Ship, and Voyage of the Rainbow Serpent.

They sound like Hardy Boys novels. The Shadow Ship and Voyage of the Rainbow Serpent. They sound like Hardy Boys novels. So you're looking around, digging into these, and as you begin reading the books, you learn that this tricorn doesn't belong to a human pirate, but to a denizen of Leng. Oh. Denizen of Leng by the name of Captain Vodrak.

Now, you faced a denizen of Leng back in Thrushmoor in the basement of Iris Hill, that woman who had the mask and she fucking tried to bite you in the crypt, remember? And you killed her and she disappeared. Don't we also have some Leng rubies? I think so. I haven't seen your character sheet. But Vodrock's

long ship, the Bloodwind, is a ship full of enslaved people, and although the people Vodrock presses into service are taken to help him out, they're usually never seen again. You find a tattered registry

in one of the books, indicating that the blood wind often sails the rivers and seas of the dreamlands, but it can also cross into other planes. Captain Vodrak is relentless in his pursuit of his victims,

chasing them across planes if necessary. You learn that Captain Vodrak's longship is made of dark wood with distinctive red-colored sails. Oh. What? That's the ship. Is that the very ship that's been following us?

Yes. I only know this because you told me. Who has actually seen the ship? I saw it. Or was it a dream? I feel the same way. It came out of the fog and then disappeared back into it.

Into the mists. Yeah. Or did it? I don't know. Did it? Did it? I don't... No it? Did it? I don't Yeah no I think it did I think it did Sorry I was getting rhetorical I shouldn't have confused the matter

No that's terrifying I mean have you only What should we do If the ship approaches In the night when we're asleep Have you only seen it once Each or multiple times We heard about it too As I. Have you only seen it once each or multiple times? We heard about it

too, as I recall. Yeah, you heard about it. You saw it I think shortly after you were on the boat. Someone saw something in the distance. It looked like a red-sailed ship and then it disappeared. And then you heard about it again when you were in where those Hansper worshippers were. I think they said, oh yeah,

a ship came by here looking for people that matched your description. It had blood red sails and he swore that the boat laughed at him. Do you remember? Yes. So you've heard that this boat is pursuing you. Perhaps it is the very same boat. I think while everyone else is researching

how to get all these gifts and all of that, Eris is researching how to be woken up maybe more than that. Yes. Well, you know

that when you're in the dreamlands, you can try to will yourself awake. In the meta of the game, it's a three-action thing that you can try and roll a will save to try and wake yourself up, but to have someone else in the material plane try and pull

you out of it, yeah, you can dig into that a little bit. Or like, even they communicate with us somehow. Oh, interesting. It has been inconclusive so far, your research. Is there a check I can do on Leng and planar travel to see if Ethel has ever

encountered something like this before? Yeah, dude. What would that be? Yeah, dude. There's no knowledge planes anymore. Yeah, so

roll whatever you want. Arcana. Arcana. Yeah, Arcana. Could I do warfare lore to see if I know any stories? Sure Joe, why are you squashing my enjoyment of the game? Go for it 20

No, you don't know any Let me try 27 Oh, there's many wars in Leng Let me try. 27th. Oh, there's many wars in Leng. Many great, great wars were fought over the inhabitants of Leng. Matthew knows several things about Leng and was trying to find a way to work it into the story, but I'll just be quiet. No, it's a dark place. This is a place that is

full of horrible people that force others to work for them. It is full of night gaunts and lang hounds and these whatchamacallit, great old ones or big badass monsters like

Beholds and shit. It is a dark, dark horrible place. So when people leave Leng to come back and to cross into other planes, like they may be hired assassins out to get you, or they may be trying to take you to force you into captivity. And also I know that Leng rubies

are often used to power the engines that allow them to hop planes. Well, good for you. But none of us know that. None of you know that, yes. Now you all know that. Right. Troy, can Suki roll Occultism

to know more about Langrubies? Sure. You don't want us to win. 27. 27. They're win. 27. The red. Fuck. Anybody else want to roll anything?

Let's just move on, shall we? Why don't you tell us? No, they're Langrubies. Trying to deepen our understanding of the lore. I know. There's no point. Let's move back to making dick jokes. Lang rubies are red gemstones.

They're all identical in size and appearance, and they're distinguishable from ordinary rubies by the fact that they're completely perfect. There's no imperfections, no inclusions. They're mined on the plateau of Lang, and they're used by the denizens of Leng. They travel the plains bartering Leng rubies for goods, for people,

and for assistance in their inscrutable schemes. Doesn't it sound like I'm almost reading this from archives of Nethis? One would think that possession of these rubies is seen as suspicious and shameful by scholars who understand their origin as the rubies mark the owner

as someone willing to deal with enigmatic foes of light and life. Can I... I have a question. Yes. If I were to bring, say, a bag full of my real-life synthetic rubies that I have at home, could I trade those in for in-game boons? No.

Okay. It was good you asked. I mean, I have them. You might as well make use of them. Yeah, no, this is dirty business. You might as well make use of it. Yeah, no, this is dirty business. And you also know that when you kill a denizen of Leng,

they just reform on the plateau of Leng. They're very hard to kill. So that denizen of Leng that you killed back in Threshmore is probably still alive somewhere. And mad. They're probably mad. They're mad because you kind of killed them. All right, so are we going to Lang? No. In the Dreamlands?

Yes. Well, you do after four or five days of research find the passphrase that you need to say to arrive near this ship, you think. What is it?

Open sesame. It is ham on rye. Oh, wow. Wow. Huh. Days and days of research. I never thought of putting ham on rye. Wow.

This explains why so many people at delis unexpectedly burst into flames and disappear forever. I'll take a ham on rye. Wow. This explains why so many people at delis unexpectedly burst into flames and disappear forever. I'll take a ham on rye. Oh, God! My insides! Well, that's why you ordered cheese with it. That's right.

So you can be like, ham and Swiss on rye. I've barely avoided a horrible fate. And there you go. It happened again. Shely avoided a horrible fate. And there you go. It happened again. She's kind of hungry now. So you have the phrase, you know what needs to be done.

Do you want to just go? Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, let's do it, dude. Let's go. Wait, we're just going to go and leave our bodies, even though we're concerned about this ghost shit? Let's talk to Sky. I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait. Before we go. Eris. What? It is a risk we

must take. No, but it is a risk I've been taking without knowledge of it. And that's not fair. Yeah, but now you know. Yeah, now I know and now it's a problem. I think what Atticus is trying to say is that the people that would come and kill our bodies are the very people we're trying to go kill right now.

Oh, yeah, exactly. That's a great point. It makes so much more sense when you say it. Okay. Let's go. Thank you. Hold. One moment.

Before we leave, let's include Skywynn in our information, yes? It would only behoove us to tell her so she can prepare for an attack. So you go up to little for an attack. She got to little halfling captain. She's like, what? What do you want? Are you going to do one of your weird dream things

again? Yes. Alright, have fun. No. No, wait. There's more. Oh, I was talking. We discovered, oh sorry, sorry, you want to talk? No, I'll finish. Dinky, get out of here. I'll talk to you later. What? What is it?

We discovered that the next place we're going in the dreamlands can also plan a shift into the real world. Oh, no. Yeah, it's bad. Shit. Yeah, shit. Shit is right. How can I help? Is there any way I can be of help?

Well, if you see a red ship... Red ship, yes. ...coming, red sails... Red sails. ...wake us up. Red sails at night. Sailors delight. Red ships of Spain, red ships... You guys don't know this song?

Go on. Sorry. Atticus, would you like to explain it better than me? If you see a ship with red sails suddenly on the horizon following us... Yes. ...move with all haste, speed the ship along as fast as you can, and know that most likely we are already on that vessel. Which I know is hard to understand, but it is what's happening.

This ship that we've heard tell of and caught wind of in the distance, if I see this ship again, I'm to assume that you're on it. I believe so. I don't... Run as fast as you can to move the ship with all speed. If you are unable to outpace it, send someone

to wake us. I fully understand what to do. Good luck. All right. Suki whispers to Ethel, I fully understand what to do. Good luck. Suki whispers to Ethel, I'm confused. I thought I understood what was going on. Are we going to be on the ship? Wait, if it plane shifts, we could be on it, right? Do we just automatically shift?

What happens if we see our own asleep bodies in that world? Are we like... I find that state of confusion is pretty par for the course with this crowd. I just go along. They're just paying me. Yes, he's here for the paycheck.

Which will be ample when we get the remaining two gifts. Let's go. Let's go. Focus on the ritual. So you go down to the ship once again The remaining two gifts. Let's go. Let's go. Focus on the ritual. So you go down, down to the ship once again, and you light some candles, put on some Barry White,

and you enact the ritual. You pass this small staircase around, running your fingers over each tiny little step as you do your part of the ritual and then you hand it to the next person and when you do the staircase it's a little larger and it's handed again and it keeps getting larger and larger and larger until it ends up in Aldo's hands as Aldo is leading the ritual once again

and Aldo then drops the stairs onto the floor and as he does the stairs become embedded in the floor of the ship and you see this huge staircase descending down into nothingness one by one you begin going down the stairs yet again as you've always done and as always within moments of descending you turn and look behind, and you no longer see your companions. You no longer see the ship or any part of the ship. But for the first time since doing these rituals, something feels off. Something weird.

Every other one felt so normal. Right. But this one feels particularly strange in fact as you plunge deeper into this interdimensional space all of you start to feel very drowsy and disoriented dizzy everything in front of you is blurry you look down at the stairs beneath your feet and it almost feels like they're ready to give way. You see cracks in the wood, and beyond the cracks, it looks like an empty void of space beneath your feet. And all at once, the stairs begin to crumble, and you feel like you're just falling and floating at the same time until you wake up. floating at the same time until you wake up.

And you're back on the floor of the hull of the ship. Aldo. You turn and you see the tiny little staircase laying right by your outstretched hand.

And all of you, as you start to sit up, are there together. What are you doing? Are we in the dreamland? Did it not work? Aldo. Did it work? I don't know.

There's something strange about it this time. Everyone, look at your hands. And then she smacks you in the face with her own hands. If your hand is bigger than your face, we're in the dream. I'm just kidding. What shade of polish is that?

That's really nice. She's referring to a thing, a real thing, that you can do when you try to lucid dream where you look at clocks. There's very specific things you can do, but if you look at your hands and touch them, your hands in the dream are like rubbery. Like they don't make sense. And that's how you know you're in a dream. Or you have too many fingers. It's like weird. But when you pay attention, you're like, something's not right.

Somebody in the crowd went, yeah. Yeah. They've tried to lucid dream. It's hard. You have to keep a journal and stuff. And that's when you start having sex with everything. Yeah. Well, that's just you, Troy. No consequences.

That's just Troy's dreams. You're supposed to keep that in your journal. You don't want to read that journal. Can Suki do a dream lore role while we're looking at our hands to understand? That's fun. That's fun. He has to know if we're in a dream or not. He spent a long time there.

Natty 20 on my new Norse foundry dice. My new wooden dice. Critical! Critical! Critical! Critical! Critical! What do my hands look like? They look like elf hands.

What the fuck? Looks normal. You look at your hands and you see beyond them the hull of the Selen Starling. You're on the boat that you were trying to do the dream ritual and Starling. You're on the boat that you were trying to do the dream ritual

and just feel like you kind of lost time. You grasp at your hands and they feel like they were holding something recently. But you don't remember holding anything. Did we actually

have a whole episode and we've forgotten it? What's the episode of Next Generation? Which one? The one where they wake up and it's just like, oh, we all lost consciousness and Data's the only one who knows. Is it cause and effect? Yeah.

Oh, so good. It's like that, right? Like when you have a full dream, but you don't remember it. Right. Yeah, like no time passed for them. Right. All hands, bed, and ship. We're back. No memory of how many people you had sex with.

Damn it. Should we... Let's go Bob Diggs. Should we see ourselves asleep? Wait a minute. No, you see each other like you just woke up on the boat. I slap Atticus. Are you awake? I don't know.

Are you? He takes two hit points. You look away. Slap me. Wait, wait. What time is it? Maybe we should go up stairs. You said if we traveled into the dreamlands and ended up on that ship,

we might come back on that ship. What if the ship is here? Yes. Right. Okay, let's check. Let's go. Yes. I draw my weapon and charge up to the top.

Wait. Let me ride on your shoulders. Okay. Okay. Such an odd regret. We go above decks. All right, let's go to the map. O.J. Simpson will ground us.

If he's here, we'll know it is their dream. If O.J. Simpson is here, well, no, we're not dreaming. O.J. Simpson is my totem. All right, so are you on the map? No. Get on the map? No. Get on the fucking map. This must be just like a casual map. I'm always shocked how small this ship is.

I know. Remember when there was like 30 people on it? Oh, wow. Wait, but where? Look at Suki's pond. Where is it? Oh, yeah. Hey, Suki.

Oh, Suki. Oh. Thank you, Angeline. Thank you, Angeline. Thank you, Angeline. Thank you, Angeline. She's not wet enough, but that's okay. Your paws don't make the joke dry.

You should listen to the other episode. She was swimming, and she was wet, and there was a whole joke about it. Why are you watching the show if you don't know what I'm talking about? Maybe you can use this character's pawn for more than two episodes. Oh, fun. Oh. I killed her.

I killed her. You come above deck and it's daytime. It's a little dreary out. Maybe there's a light mist of rain as well. And you just, yeah, you feel like you lost time. You did that ritual and something didn't feel right. And yes, obviously you make the joke like it never quite feels right, but it really felt like it was wrong.

And you remember researching that things can happen when you fuck up the ritual. And so you start thinking to yourself, maybe we didn't do it correctly, but critically failed it. You don't know, because you failed the ritual before you said to try it again the next night. Maybe you critically failed.

Maybe not. Maybe it was just a failure, but it felt very, very different. Atticus is going right to the captain. Captain! And he starts moving. You walk towards Skywind. To the rear of the ship.

Yeah, and she's standing at the rear of the ship, and she's just staring off in the distance. Like, she doesn't even hear you approaching. She's just watching off in the distance. Captain, step out of it. Sorry. Sorry, I just... Just thought I saw something out there.

It's been my mind playing tricks on me. I've been standing here for... Well, I've lost track of time, but I keep... I keep feeling like I... I see something, and then I look, and it's gone. Something is... Something is not...

Something's not right. Captain, where is the crew? Are they below decks? Are they asleep? Crew? I imagine they're around here somewhere. Ethel, he calls back. Check below decks.

See if the crew is asleep. All right. Pork chop! Take eight! Oh, you want me to go? Okay, I'll check below decks. You start looking around. You can even peek in the other cabins.

And you see Revan and Gossa, the two older scholars. They're just kind of resting with their eyes closed in seated positions. And then there's Emilio Daldame and his three associates. And they're just eating. Anything weird happen for you guys in here? And they just look at you. No, we're just

having some fish. Alright. I check everybody. They're all here. And you see Pedro Alacabam. He comes up, and he's looking out into the water. I don't think you've talked to Pedro Alacabam yet. But he's like,

The fish, they are jumping like crazy today. They are all over the place, but I'll be damned if I can catch them. That is my voice. Andrew Alakabam is French? No. No, he's just got a gravelly low voice like this. Oh.

Look at all those fish, but they're uncatchable. Andrew Alakabam. Captain, my father was a magician. I don't know if we've ever spoken of that. What was his name? Steve Alacabam. That was his stage name, of course.

What was his birth name? Magic Alacabam. Magic Alacabam. I always found it strange that he changed it. Magic seemed like a great name. Perhaps he thought it was too on the nose, so he had to change it. So on his tax returns, it said Alakabam Magic. Karma Magic, yes.

Where's OJ? Where's Dinky? Where's OJ? They are resting. We've been trying to catch fish all morning, but as I said, they are uncatchable. Look. Pedro. Yes?

How long have we been out? I'm sorry? We went to sleep. Yes, you went downstairs to do your dark things. Right. And when was that? Well, it was last night. Did you not go

and come back, as you always do? What time of day is it now? It's maybe like 11 in the morning. And we did this last night, right at midnight. We've lost a day. We seem to have lost a day.

Wait, this is more strange. Did you fuck up the ritual? No, I did the same thing. Like, you saw the stairs get big and everything. No, no, no, no, no. Something went wrong. Because normally when we come back, no time has passed. Now too much time has passed.

Far too much time. We were lost. And everyone's kind of being weird. They're acting a bit weird. Yeah, like Pedro. Who even is that? Yeah, I don't even remember him, honestly. I don't remember him at all.

He's a good guy. He's been here. Do you remember him? Yeah. Oh, all right then. Okay. We had a whole conversation about it. Are you just saying that?

Well, now you've got me doubting myself. Yeah, I honestly don't remember a Pedro Alicabem. He was here, I swear. I've been here the whole time. You just never took a moment to say hello, for I was but a lowly sailor. You were a rich... You're not a fisherman.

Pedro. Pedro, on behalf of my employers, I'd like to apologize. You're right. You were just a lowly sailor, and they ignored you. I'm used to being overlooked. Even my father overlooked me. Magic?

Steve. Sorry. Steve. For I would not follow in his footsteps. For I wanted to be a fisherman. He would say, Why don't you make a fish disappear? And I said, Father!

I don't want to do that. We never spoke again. I understand. You want to say something a little more glamorous. Yes. So you decided to be official.

It's a selfish life for me. Can I do a perception check to where Skywin is looking? Yeah. Maybe we'll see something. Well, I also want to ask Skywin, what day is it? Wednesday. And is it that, like, in the date and everything, it's the next day?

Yeah. Day 63. 30 perception. 30 perception. Okay. So you look out in the direction of where Skywin is just kind of lost, staring out there like she's scanning the horizon for something. You see a couple interesting things. You see that the waters of the river are unusually clear.

And you've looked out there before. They've never been quite as clear as they are right now. And they're teeming with these iridescent fish. Now, there's not a lot of sunlight, but the light that is coming down is kind of gleaming, and it's almost beautiful. light but the light that is coming down is kind of gleaming and it's almost beautiful um the other thing you notice is along the shore um like i would say the far shore from where you are you see these creatures they're like these it's like a herd of them they're very flabby looking waddling quadrupeds they almost almost look like elephants. And they're just lumbering around

and you see them come up to the edge of the water to try and drink. Captain, that there, that creature, what is it? Have you seen it before? No. No, I haven't. On all your many journeys

on this river, never before have you seen it? No, and I've been up and down this river many times, but there's all sorts of creatures here, especially as we get closer to the edge of the Verdun forest. Can I do a nature check? Sure. Says the captain.

Captain, may I do a nature check? Permission to do a nature check, captain. Permission to do a nature check, sir. Granted. 34. 34. I'm a nature check? Permission to do a nature check, Captain. Permission to do a nature check, sir. Granted. 34. 34. I'm a druid. Nature.

I'm really good at nature. You squint off in the distance to the far shore, and you recognize these creatures. They are creatures known as boolpoths. They look like elephants, but their trunks are much shorter, and they have small ears. They're dangerous, but they kind of flee from most dangers, and you're not even near them. But they're natural. Well, that's the thing, is they're not native to this region.

Are they native, perhaps, to the Plateau of Leng? Are you rolling a nature check? I think that. Suki thinks that in her head. Hmm, where are they native from? I wonder. I can roll a nature check. I can roll an arcana check. I tell them the information and say,

where could they possibly be from? I can roll an occult check. Natural one. Ooh. Damn it. 31 arcana for Aldo. I also got a 31 Arcana. Exactly.

31 Arcana. They're not necessarily from Leng, but you do remember reading in some of these books of Laos about these creatures being native to the dreamlands. Can I take a closer look at the fish? Yeah. You want to jump in the water? No, absolutely not.

I'm afraid of it. So Eris jumps in the water. Oh, that's right. So you're going up there. So she's like carefully going up to the edge of the boat and just kind of looking over because she sees like the sparkly, I guess, shiny fish. And it's kind of weird, right?

And you're not actually as fearful as you've been in the past. Am I not frightened one right now? All right. Wait, here's a question for you. Do I feel fatigued? You're a little tired. But am I, did I have night terrors? Fatigued?

Or am I just a little tired? No, in fact, you can't remember your dreams. I'm going to uncheck fatigued for my sheet. I'm going to uncheck frightened one. You guys are making some big leaps. Well, you said. But, so listen, I have lore wilderness. Nobody likes a bracket. Specializing in sailing.

So can I use that with this fish and sailing and the fact that the water is abnormally clear? Yeah, give me whatever that check is that you made up. Lore Wilderness. Roll that made up skill for me. Ooh, natural 17. That's a 30. Ooh.

Unless I'm not frightened, then it's a 31. Let's just say you look at those fish, and they, too, are not native to the inner sea region. Something is not right here. What if we took the whole boat with us? Yes, yes. No, and Aldo's going around, he's grabbing everyone in turn. He's just like, that's what's happened!

Somehow we've pulled the entire boat with us into the dreamlands! Oh no. And we are most likely being followed. Should we ask the captain to slow our progress? No. Slow down, bring the ship closer No, we should Is there a way for us to be half in the dreamland and half not? Oh yes, in this particular dream, yes

I mean, it is not something that we have seen before But our research suggests it is possible in this particular place Perhaps we have brought them with us Or perhaps these are merely reflections of their own unconscious minds in the dreamlands. Let us try slowing the boat, drawing the follower to us.

Pedro Alacabam, standing nearby and listening, begins removing his shirt and says, the only way to be sure is if we all have sex with each other. This is a dream. No, it's definitely a dream. This is a dream.

And that music comes on every time I have one of these dreams. Yeah, that's true. That's all I know. See, you hear that music, you know it's a dream. It's a dream. Ethel starts removing his shirt and walks over to Pedro. All right. All right, let's do this.

All right. I guess we've got to do this. For the sake of science. So you go over to the captain and tell her to start. Yeah, we say, I'll say, Captain, this may seem rather strange, especially if you think you might have seen an aggressor following behind.

But trust me on this. Slow our progress. Break the boat. Drop the sails, and let us see if they emerge from the mist. We may want to encounter this particular ship. And she's not even listening to you, because as you're talking, she's raising her hand up and pointing off in the distance, and she says, There. There. Do you see it? And you look.

And coming out of the fog, a ship emerges. It's about a quarter mile behind you, and it does have red sails. But as it approaches in the distance, you see that the sails aren't just painted red. They almost seem to be coated in blood. Blood-drenched cloth.

And there's a name on the side of the ship. A quarter mile away. Ethel is wearing glasses. You look closely and sure enough it says Blood Wind.

And at that moment, Skywind snaps her head back and howls. And as she howls her clothing starts to fall away from her body and then her skin starts to fall away from her body, and then her skin starts to fall away from her body as well to reveal sick, pale, bluish skin beneath. And in a heartbeat, this feisty little halfling captain

becomes this sleek, small, tiny, dark beast with claws, fangs, and bulging eyes. And she just, like, skitters up a little pole. Roll for initiative. Oh, yeah, baby. Roll for initiative. Oh, baby. Oh, Steve.

All right, let's get her out of there, and let's show you what you're fighting. A sloth. Oh, it is. Oh, I'm not fighting that. Is it? I'm not fighting that. Oh, okay. Never mind. Never mind.

I don't know. It's still kind of cute. Yep. That's a sloth, though, right? It's smiling. It's smiling. We shouldn't be so judgmental of, like, the drool and the fangs and the red eyes. Maybe it's just evolved in such a way

to hunt a very specific prey. Yeah, it needs very sharp teeth for and to be grimacing towards and maybe to be very strong. Maybe it needs an insect with a particularly hard exoscope. Yeah, I think we're fine. Or us.

Or us. Let's talk initiative. Aldo, what'd you get? 21 for Aldo. 21 for Aldo. Let's talk initiative. Aldo, what'd you get? 21 for Aldo. 21 for Aldo. Eris? 25. 25.

Atticus? 14. Oh, brutal. Horrible roll. Suki? 26. 26 for Suki. Ethel?

31. 31. Nice. Very good rolls. Very good rolls. Oh, no. Not as high as my roll. Oh, come on. That. Nice. Very good rolls. Very good rolls. Oh, no. Not as high as my roll. That is ridiculous.

God, these things are insane. I just want to ask about positioning here. Weren't we all talking to the captain? I think you were. I just wanted to see if you guys would move yourselves up, because I didn't want to do that. I wouldn't say anything. I think you were up there,. I wouldn't say anything. That's right.

I think you're up there, Ethel. Yeah, yeah. I'll stand behind Atticus, who was doing most of the talking. Aldo was just chilling back there. All right. It is Falt's Skywind's turn. This awful-looking little creature. Does it bring the mizzenmast with it

wherever it moves? I didn't have time to edit that out. Does it bring the mizzenmast with it? Wherever it moves? Don't worry about it I didn't have time to edit that out That's what makes it all the more strange It is a very scary Nightmarish creature Alright, it is going to Step back

And then it is going to unleash A 30 foot cone of awfulness Oh no That will affect everyone but Aldo, oddly enough And it is going to unleash a 30-foot cone of awfulness. Oh, no. That will affect everyone but Aldo, oddly enough. Aldo? Yeah, Aldo's way in the back. I think he's more than 30 feet away, right? Sure.

Oh, yeah, definitely. I didn't measure it, but let me measure it. 40 feet. Sure enough. Everybody give me a will save. This is gonna be awesome. Wait, am I frightened? You are not frightened.

You are not frightened. You don't have any of your mad afflictions. So you don't have cognitive dissonance either there, Atticus. But you do have a shitty will save. What did you roll? Stooky. I rolled 33. Ooh, that is a success.

Thank God. We'll save Billy Joe for the end. Eris? 30. 30? Also a success. Ethel? 26.

Ooh, that's a fail. Oh, no. What'd you get? 23.'s a fail. Oh, no. What'd you get? 23. Also a fail. Okay, those of you who succeeded, for one round, you can't use reactions and must attempt another save at the start of your

turn. Wait, for those of us that succeeded? For one round, the creature can't use reactions and must attempt another save at the start of its turn. And if you fail on that save, you're slowed one as you sob uncontrollably. This spell is Crushing Despair. Oh, no.

Those of you who failed, it's as success, but the duration is one minute. So you can't use reactions for one minute. And at the start of your turn, you'll make another save. And if we fail one save over the next minute, we do that. We lose an action. We're slowed. Oh, God.

That is unclear, but I will read further. That is its three actions. So I'm not slowed now. You're not slowed now. But you will be. It I'm not slowed now. You're not slowed now, but you will be. It is Ethel's turn. Ethel, give me a save. Oh, I have to do it at the start of my turn?

Yes. Okay. Oh, no. 18. Oh, no. 20. Okay, fail. That was close.

And this is another one of those, like, how should I read this? But the way I'm reading it is, on a failure, you're slowed one for that turn as it sobs uncontrollably. So I think this fits Ethel. I think the duration of one minute for the failure only applies to the reactions, like for the whole combat. But I don't think you're slowed one for the whole thing. So slowed one, no reactions. Slow one, but I don't think you're slowed one for the whole thing. So slowed one, no reactions. Slow one, no reactions. Okay. Alright.

So then Ethel has two actions to use so he will move on up to the false captain and take one swing with his warhammer. It says. And all the while doing like, I just want to love her.

I want to love her. I want to love my children. Okay, that is a 32 to hit. There you go. 32. Pretty good. Yeah. That is a hit.

All right, dude. Pretty good. Yeah. That is a hit. All right. All right, dude. Get it. That will be 13 points of bludgeoning damage. What kind of weapon do you have? A warhammer. What kind, though? Any properties?

Plus one striking warhammer with other things on it. Pretty good. It doesn't look like all that damage went through, sadly. You hate to see that. Really sadly. You hate to see that. You hate to see that. Yeah, your defenses are up. I'm trying to be vulnerable. Ethel's sobbing uncontrollably. He lands a glancing blow on this horrible creature.

And now, it is Suki's turn. Suki, you're just, you're the same boat, right? Give me a save. Yeah. Yeah. Natty 17. There you go. That's going to be a 22, or no, a 32.

32, I like the 22 better, but yeah, no more tears for you. But you cannot use reaction. Okay. But I still get the 22 better, but yeah, no more tears for you. But you cannot use reaction. Okay. But I still get my three actions, correct? You do. Okay. So I am going to not move closer to it. Fuck that thing.

And I'm going to use two actions to go into my animal form. Oh. So I'm going to go. What kind of animal? I'm going to do an aerial thing like that. She goes like this. And nothing happens because it takes a full round to do it. So you're like, what is she doing?

She's like, why did you do that? Just wait. Next round. It's going to be awesome. Next round is going to be so cool. And she is going to turn into a hawk. Bird of prey. Awesome.

It's like Animorphs. Yeah. Slowly. That's what it is. Throughout the round. Hopefully not. Very slowly. I hope it's better than that.

She turns into a hawk. Very cool. Okay. All right. So I will get that pawn out there. And is that your turn? Yeah. That's my whole turn. Because you talk. Very cool. Okay. Alright, so I will get that pawn out there. And is that your turn? Yeah, that's my whole turn. Because you moved. No, I didn't move, but it's two actions

to do my form. But you have three actions, so you still have an action left. First time playing? No, but I mean, I guess, you know what, I'll fire Oh, Troy. Yes? Do I have that composite longbow from the game, the last episode, that I wasn't there for, but I assume nobody threw it off the boat or anything, and it was right next to me when I woke up. And I was like, oh, it's like Christmas.

Somebody saved me a composite longbow, because I'm an elf. Let's just, before we go too far down, did you have it out? Yes, yes, because I equipped it on my character sheet, and I would have assumed when they went upstairs, she would have prepared her weapon like a smart person. Sounds reasonable. That's the safest option.

While talking to the captain, you were holding this loaded weapon. I won't try. What day is it? Yeah, that's what I do. What day is this? And then at what point during the hawk transformation

do your hawk hands hold this crossbow? I can reverse it. She can fire the longbow. What a ridiculous game. I wasn't playing. You know what? It was better

when you didn't know you had three actions. We're moving on to errors. He asks if I want to do anything. He asks if I want to do anything, and then he shuts it down. Whatever. Imagine a bird shooting an arrow. That'd be cool.

Oh, yeah. That's the coolest thing I can picture. You're not wrong. That would be cool. You know what? That would be really cool. Cheers. Cheers.

They've drank like four bottles of wine backstage. I know. We have to keep going. It's just anyone who'd be like, we need more wine. They're getting angry. We have wine on tap here. We don't need food.

Give us wine. We're backstage. Kate's like, imagine a dog shooting a gun. And I'm like, imagine a bird firing an arrow. Eris, you're up. What do you do? I feel like

I'm still apprehensive about the Will-O-Wisp encounter and I feel like I can't just willy nilly use my magic without knowing more. I do want to start casting, well cast Organsight which is two actions.

So you see her kind of like, with her hand out towards this sloth thing, kind of being like I'm gonna find where it's gonna hurt the most in you, you weird little thing. Yeah, give it hell. I hope. So I have to roll, I have to, oh wait.

For the direct, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh. When I cast a roll. I have to... Oh, wait. For the... When I cast a spell, I can attempt a recall knowledge check using medicine to spot a vital organ. Right. So I got to roll that. Yeah, roll your medicine check. What is this thing called again? Organ sight. Organ sight.

Gross. I got a plus nine. Ooh. 16, so that's 25. Okay. Success. I see a vital nine. Ooh. 16, so that's 25. Okay. Success. I see a vital organ. Great.

And I also, before I do anything else, I want to just roll something to figure out more about this creature. Like, does it have any strengths or weaknesses? Okay. All right, now here's the problem. Does this medicine check count as an action, or is it part of the spell? When I cast the spell, attempt a special recall knowledge check. It doesn't, like, specify.

I think we had this conversation already before. Because if it does, then you don't have an extra action because it costs two spells. I'm going to say just have it be part of the spell. So you want to roll. This guy agrees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I'm suspect. Alright, so go ahead and roll

before you cast the spell, roll a knowledge to see if you know anything about this horrible, horrible creature. Can I just choose what I want? I have knowledge in nature? Or do I think a cult works? Because that's what I'm best at. Natural seven.

Seven plus eight. 25. Okay. Pretty good. You know this is a creature known as a meleeth? Meleeth. Meleeth. Meleeth.

Meleeth. They draw power from a latent dreaming connection to the dreamlands. But they are actually native to the material plane. They have, I'll give you one ability that they have. If they grab you,

they can squeeze and it affects your mind. They crush your mind because of their connection to the dreamlands. They can fuck with your mind. They, like, crush your mind because of their connection to the dreamlands. They can, like, fuck with your dreams. So, to Suki, Atticus, Ethel, because they're all a bit closer, like,

be careful, don't get too close, don't let it grab you, it can affect your mind. It's weird. It's really weird. You say to them, now cast your spell What do I have to roll Against organ sight I don't think it's like I cast it

Oh it's cause Yeah Alright so the next time You deal piercing or slashing damage Yes It deals extra So you basically I'm setting myself up

You found like a vital point To attack this horrible creature Yes I like that Okay Cool Next up is Aldo like a vital point to attack this horrible creature. I like that. Okay. Cool. Next up is Aldo.

All right. Aldo, he hears the commotion towards the aft part of the boat and sees, like, wait, I'm coming. And he is going to spend one action to get up to the little, whatever you call it, little building here in the middle of the boat. The Aft Castle? Sorry, sorry. Roll the save first. I think we're forgetting about the big save.

Oh, right, I didn't do that either. You've got to roll the save. Aldo doesn't have to, but Eris does. Why doesn't Aldo have to? He was out of the range. I was out of the range. Oh, oh, nice. Maybe, maybe.

Ooh, natural 15. Will save? 29. Okay, so you're, maybe. Ooh. Natural 15. Will save? Yeah. 29. Okay, so you're not slowed. Awesome. So awesome. Am I, like, done with rolling stuff?

Yeah, you're done. Take a break. No, I mean, like, for the will save stuff. Get some more wine. Get some more nog. Oh, thank God. All right, so, Aldo, you move up. I move up.

First action. And then he is going to spend an action, a second action, climbing up onto this cabin, onto the roof of it. Very cool. And then he is going to move over to the corner. With his final action, he is going to do his own Arcana check against this thing to see if he knows anything further about it. Okay. That is a 27. Okay, good roll.

Again, this thing can cast occult spells. And again, like probe the mind can cause you to hallucinate. But in terms of things that can help you, it has resistance mental 10 and physical 5, except silver cuts through. I see. Break out the silver if you have it, lads and ladies. Okay. Wait, so not the ladies with the silver? Is there something with that? No, I mean, no, it's assumed. I don't know. You moved up, recalled knowledge. You have one action left. No, that was it.

That was two actions to move up and then climb up on top. Climbing? I forgot the climbing. Atticus, take it home, buddy. Atticus is going to have an undoubtedly shitty turn. First he's going to roll his save. Well, 27. Okay, you hit it.

Exactly. So you're not slowed. Nice. All right. So he is not slowed. No reactions for a minute, though. No reactions for a minute, but hearing Eris's warning,

he is frightened. He doesn't want to get too close to this thing. So he's just going to leave Ethel there. And I'm just going to do a magic missile. I'm just going to fire off a

three action magic missile. Nice. And just like attack the shit out of this thing. So that is ten points of force damage. Okay. As these three magical missiles hit it. Very good.

It is its turn at the top of round two. Who's nearest? Ethel, let's get nasty. It goes to claw you, Ethel. We get neon green. Oh dear. Oh no. Oh no. No.

No. Here we go. 30 to hit. Awesome. Let me just gather some d10s for this damage. Oh no. Because it does d10s worth of damage. Oh dear. And I rolled

210s. Oh no. So 27 points of slashing damage. Oh jeez. Wow. Second action, it grabs. And then third action, it tries to crush your mind! It automatically grabs with it?

Yes, grab is just an action now with its claws allowed to do that. Don't ever correct me in front of the children. All I was doing was asking questions. Give me a will save. Let me just add the grab condition. George, can you look one thing up for me real quick? I'm on it.

Grab that nog while you're back there. I left it on the piano. Will save? Look at this stuff. What? Will save? Yes, will save. William save.

21. Yikes. You're lucky that wasn't a critical failure. However, you will take 66 more damage. Oh. Mental damage as it crashes your mind. Wait, wait. Did you say 66?

I sure did. 66. 66, yeah. Maybe it'll be 66. We'll see what happens. All right. 11. 17 points more damage.

That's a total of 44 points of damage. Oh, jeez. He says between sobs. Crush. Oh. Oh. Oh. It hurts my mind like it hurts my heart.

Well, the good news is now it's your turn, Ethel. Am I still grabbed? Yes. Okay. Should I, can I try to break free? Yeah. I've got to look this up. We haven't done a lot of grabbing in Pathfinder. Alright, well first let me roll my save. I think it's like an athletics check against my Fortitude DC

or some shit like that. Do we have to keep doing the saves or I thought once you did the second one you were good? I'm talking to Matthew right now. I'll deal with you in a second. What did you say? Do I have to roll my save for the crushing despair? No, that was just the first time.

Go to her. Go to her. Hold that little one. Thanks, Kate. There you go. Nice. Thanks, Kate. Thank you. Escape. All right, so this is how it works.

I'm seeing right here. You're flat-footed and immobilized, which you should have if you have the grab condition on. If you attempt to manipulate action while grabbed, you must have succeeded a DC5 flat check or it's lost. So attacking, I believe, has the manipulate trade. I'm not sure. You have to look. So you roll the check after spending the action, but before any effects are applied.

DC five flat check. DC five flat jump. All right. I'm going to stay grappled with it. Okay. All right. And I am going to do a double strike, a double slice.

Double slice. Okay. Green is the Warhammer. Okay. slice. Okay. Green is the Warhammer. Okay. Okay. Okay. Warhammer is going to be a 34 to hit. Okay.

The hatchet is going to be a 22 to hit. Okay. Now, is that one action or is that two actions? That's two actions. All right. So you've got to go flat check for each of those. DC5 should be easy. Come on.

No. The Warhammer, which is the one that was probably going to hit, I got a 16. And the other one I got a 4. All right, so that's a hit with the Warhammer. All right. I want to be. That is going to be. Oh, again, 13 points of bludgeoning damage. 13 points? Yep. How, again, 13 points of bludgeoning damage.

13 points? Yep. How about eight? Eight points of bludgeoning damage. Sure. And then since I've got an action. You sure do. I'm going to try to escape.

Okay. I'm going to go to page 470 of the core rulebook and use the escape action. Mmm, fun. You attempt to escape from being grabbed, immobilized, et cetera, et cetera. Choose one creature. action. Fun. You attempt to escape from being grabbed, immobile, etc. Choose one creature. Attempt to check using your unarmed attack

modifier against the DC of the effect. This is typically the athletics DC of the creature grabbing you. The thievery DC of the creature who tied you up. Etc. You can attempt an acrobatics or athletics check instead of using your attack modifier if you choose, but this action still has the attack

trait. Okay, so this is your final action. It's going to be against DC25. All right, I'm going to use athletics. He's going to try to muscle his way out of it. If it's your third attack, does it... Oh, no. I guess it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because I rolled a natural two. Oh!

You don't even... You grabbed even with... Did I critically fail? That's going to be a 20. Yes. I cannot escape Did I critically fail? That's going to be a 20. Yes. I cannot attempt, because I critically failed, I don't get free and you can't attempt to escape until your next turn. Well, that's fine.

Oh, that's fine. All right. Well, I hit it a little bit. A little bit. Not as good as the 44 points of damage I did to you. No, that was not as good. Suki, you are now a hawk, as indicated by your pawn.

I could tell when you changed me into a soldier. Fly, hawk. Yeah, that's just how I imagined it in my mind. Me too. I called you hawky. I saw, thank you. After she saw Ethel take brutal damage by close combat, she immediately is like,

I should not have turned into a fucking bird. This was a terrible idea. So she's going to, she already used it to turn into hockey, so she's going to fly up five feet to the weird sloth, and she is going to attack with her beak in a melee attack. Melee beak attack. Melee beak attack. What else?

What? What else? Just a beak attack? Do you have more stuff after that? Wow. I could do two. Let her finish it first. Have you ever been attacked

by a hawk? Yeah. Just a beak attack. As a matter of fact, I have. I could do two beak attacks. Okay. All right, start with the first beak attack. Okay. matter of fact, I have. I can do two beak attacks. Okay. All right, start with the first beak attack. Okay.

So do you want to flank? I could flank. I'm flying. You're flying. So I can. Yeah, why not? Let's do it. All right, so you're going to move.

Yes. First action to get flanking with the Neelith and Ethel, and then beak attack. Beak attack. All right. That's gonna be... My attack modifier. Sorry, new stuff. Animals. That's gonna be a 27.

That's a miss. Plus flanking? Wait, hold on. No, sorry. I keep fucking this up. It's a 37. That's very different. Wait, hold on. Let me do my math. No, it's a 27. Did you give yourself a calculator? No.

So flat-footed. He's flat-footed. If it's 27? Yes. Flat-footed is still a miss. Okay. So I'm going to attack again with the beak. Yeah, you'll definitely hit this time.

Yes. Is your beak agile? And I'm going to roll this time. Oh, there you go. It's going to take you 45 minutes to read that, Doug. Eric from Norse Foundry gave me this for that exact purpose. Yeah, Norse Foundry. Where's Eric?

They're here, aren't they? Where is he? I don't get to see shit. Drew and Eric, are you here? Yeah, they are. Oh, there they are. Norse Foundry in the house. And I rolled a teeny tiny natural two for an 18.

Does that one hit? No, in fact, it critically fails. Caw, caw. Wait, oh no. How about a natural fumble? It wasn't a one, so don't worry.

It was a two. It was not a one. You should just be embarrassed. Yeah, she, she again thinks like, it was really stupid to be a fucking bird. I should not have done that.

Hey, but we get the flanking now. Yeah. Good for you guys. Good. I'm glad you guys are happy with your failures. Eris, it's your turn. You've located a vital organ in which to strike. What is the organ?

The pancreas. Ooh. Ooh, nice. Ooh, so vital. Yes, and the knee latith has two pancrii. Oh, ew. Little known fact. Are there, like, silver objects of one bulk or less, like, around that I can just kind of...

No. No? Are you sure? Yes. Skywin, you remember having a conversation with her. She says, I don't want any silver on this boat! She threw all the silver. It's one of the rules.

No silver. What was the one we learned last show? No rubies. No rubies. No runes, no crossbows, no silver. Snap. Well, I still want to I still want to hurl a loose

unattended object within my range that is one book or less at the target. Okay. So I make a spell attack against the target. Okay. Is it a sharp object that is going to do slashing or piercing damage so that you get your bonus? Yeah. Or is it a dull object?

Yeah, yeah. No, it's going to do... What do I need? I'm pretty sure it's slashing or piercing. You need piercing or slashing. Yeah, it's going to do whatever the object is need? I'm pretty sure it's slashing or piercing. You need piercing or slashing. Yeah, it's going to do whatever the object is, either slashing or piercing. That's what I'm looking for, like a really sharp piece of wood. I don't know.

It's a bronze knife. A bronze knife. All right, that's fine. All right. Natural eight, so eight. 24. No, no. No, this little tiny son of a bitch is tricky to hit.

All right. That was your first action. That's fine. Well, that's actually two actions, casting telekinetic projectile. Thank you for being honest. It's my fault. The bronze knife flies at hockey.

Um, I guess I'll cast one magic missile. Okay. How exciting. How much damage is that one magic missile? Is it really important to neg us on this Christmas show? You know what? It could get down to where it's like 1d4 difference of life and death for this weird slime. That's true.

That's true. All right, so 1D4 plus 1. And also, I have a talisman against your bullshit tonight. Oh, that's true. We all got it. Given to me by Tyler. That's true. Big thank you to Tyler of the Nash.

Who made us protective talismans. Thank you. Tyler. This is assuming that Troy is an old one. Right. The joke's on you. I was in cahoots with Tyler. Making your rules weak.

Tyler! Tyler! All right, so... Three force damage. Three force damage. Well, that all goes through, which is good. So she tries to throw a bronze knife at the thing, and it goes into the sea.

Goes into the sea. And then she does a burst of light that hits it for three damage. Stunning. It is Aldo's turn. Aldo, you've moved up the boat here. You've studied this creature. You're now climbed on top of the Aft Castle here.

What do you do? Yeah, Aldo is, he like runs up and like kind of staggers backwards as he gets to the edge of the aft castle here. What do you do? Yeah, Aldo is, he like runs up and like kind of staggers backwards as he gets to the edge of the roof and he sees this thing and he's just like, Alright! I hope you're ready to fucking die, prick!

And he throws a bottle of lightning at the creature that is a 31 to hit. That'll hit. Yes! Yes, Aldo! Right, okay, so that is 11 points of electricity damage. And it is flat-footed

until the beginning of my next turn. Any and all attacks? Flat-footed, okay, great. Nice. Double. Now I'm going to throw a acid flask at it That is a 24 to hit 24 misses Alright, that's still four points of acid damage

Okay And then I'm going to throw a third Ooh Another four points of acid damage See that's what's nice is even on the miss you get that four So you were able to do an extra eight damage there Let's finish out the round With Atticus

Atticus Alright first a save Nailed it Crushed it 32 You only had to do it the first time, so you're fine. Oh, and then it's your save? Yeah, your save.

So you can... You just can't take reactions now for a minute, but you're not slowed. Oh. Okay. I disagree. That's how I read it, but... It says, as success, which means at the start of your turn, you must make a save, and it's for a minute. I hear you.

Anyway, he is going to... For one round. Yeah, I ruled it as one round. Alright, so he... Can I stand on this John Jamski? But can I, like... You're tiny. I believe the word for the... On the gunwale? Thank you. On the gunwale?

Because you got the word right, yes. All right, you're tiny. I think someone as beefy as Ethel couldn't, but you could. I'm very nimble. He's going to stand up on the edge of the ship, eye this thing down, and it is grabbing Ethel, right?

So it's kind of like it's a tight shot, but from this angle, risking his imbalance on the edge of the boat, I think he's got the line that he needs, and he will cast Innervation on the creature. And this line of purely negative energy tears through the body of the creature. It is the very energy of death that touches it.

Wow. How strong is it against death? Well, what kind of save do I roll? Fortitude. Let's find out. Save. Let's find out. Natural two.

Yes! Oh! Oh! That might be a critical fail. Kill it! It's going to be a 17 total. Oh! That might be a critical fail. Kill it! It's going to be a 17 total. One point away from a critical fail. Oh, okay.

But a failure is good enough. You are drained one. Oh, nice. As your very life force, even though it's sort of dreamy, it's still drawn out of you. You lose your level times one in hit points. Wow. Your max hit points go down by your level times one.

You also take a penalty equal to your drain value to any, you know, John checks. And then... Fortitude saves. I'll look it up. I got it right here in front of me. All right, so that's going to be a nice, chunky hit point loss. Yep. And then you'll take 4d8 persistent damage.

Oh! Every round! Holy shit! Kind of buried the lead there. Yikes! Ten turns later, someone does something. So this creature is being eaten away by death itself every round. And it can make a flat check to get rid of that.

Okay. A flat check, just for those that don't know, means a random roll that's a long shot. And you can just have it not hurt you. But it's hard. It's a hard roll to make. What's the DC of the flat check? It's like any flat check. For persistent, I think it's 15. 15, yeah, that's hard. 15 flat check. That's hard to do, alright.

20% chance, right, or 25% chance? 25. Alright, well, it's top of round three, and it is Fault Skywind's turn. Releases the grab there. Oh. Because it's going to just try and do it all over again, I think.

Actually, no, let's guess. Wait, wait, wait. If it's its turn, it starts by taking 4d8. Wait, doesn't the damage come at the end of the turn? I think it's at the end of the turn. I thought the damage was at the start, and the save is at the end. Is it the end? All right, it's at the end. Oh, yeah I think it's at the end of the turn. I thought the damage was at the start and the save is at the end. Is it the end? All right, it's at the end.

Oh, yeah, because you can take some sort of extra action. Stop interrupting the show. Ruining this. Have a beef stick. He loves them. All right. End of each turn. End of each turn. End of each turn, yes.

Page 621 of the core rulebook. I love your citations. Thank you. It's going to slide out of flanking. And then it is going to cast something on either Eris or Hockey. One, two, three. Hockey.

Four, five, six. Eris. Hockey. One, two, three. Hockey. Four, five, six. Eris. Hockey. Oh, no. Hockey. No. Give me a will save. Oh, no.

What the fuck is my will as a bird? Is it just my normal will? I think it's the same. I think that stays the same. My other abilities are different. Okay. Why would you think birds don't have will? Birds have a lot the same. I think that stays the same. My other abilities are different. Okay. Why would you think birds don't have will?

Birds have a lot of willpower. Yeah. Everyone knows. We just put them in cages. But they have a lot of willpower. I'm like a bird.

I want to fly away. Yeah. That's pretty willful to me. Yeah. Mind you, Sydney spent all of lunch telling us how she was going to cage chickens.

No! No! No! She's going to cage chickens. No! No, no. She's going to keep chickens in Brooklyn. Like fancy show chickens. Are those chickens going to have free will? You are making me sound like a monster! She literally said she was picking a specific breed of chicken because it didn't fight back. Yeah.

Hey. I didn't think of it that way, but that's very true. She said that between slurps of her chicken stock. You had a chicken soup? I'm not raising the chickens to eat the chickens. It's not about that. No, just to eat their young. No, I just said... Just to gather their young together and fry it up. You're just eating their... I'm eating their... You're just eating their potential. You're going to just to eat their young. No, I just... Just to gather their young together and fry it up. You're just eating their...

Just eating their potential. Eat their children in front of them. I'm sorry. Do you all eat chicken? Yes. No. Do you eat eggs? Matthew, not you. Do you eat eggs? Yes. No, I don't eat eggs. I don't eat eggs. Alright, not you either. I just

thought... Picture this. You wake up. Here we this. You wake up. Here we go. You picture, you wake up. You walk outside. Oh, there's my two chickens who I love and care for. What are their names? Pepsi and Bug.

Pepsi. And I give them my scraps and they love me and I love them. And we live a simple life in Brooklyn, New York. And, oh, what's this? Two fresh eggs. Thank you, Pepsi. Or children. Yep.

What? Two fresh children. Not if they're men. No, there's no rooster. They're not fertile. Thank you. They're unfertile. Somebody knows their farm animal facts.

They're not fertilized, and they can never turn into babies. They need a rooster. What if Bug turns out to be a rooster? Can you? I rolled. You rolled as well, save. I guess the important thing is your roll. I rolled a 29.

Success. Yeah, I know. Yes! However, the spell was confusion. I feel confused. So on success, you babble incoherently. That was that. That was that. That was that whole bit.

Mission accomplished. She just started going on and on about chickens in Brooklyn. Chickens in my backyard in Brooklyn. I could have them chickens. I'm on the boat. Tsutsuki's like, I thought perhaps eggs in the morning. You're also in hawk form babbling incoherently. Oh, right.

So I'm going. So you babble incoherently and you're stunned one Which is Nasty Look up stunt Just lose an action right I think that's slowed right No you lose an action I think you get it back

After you lose it you recover I think Each time How many total actions I think you get it back. After you lose it, you recover. I think. Each time, how many total actions? Yeah, you can read it. That's its turn, because it moved to get into position to confuse you. And now, it is Ethel's turn. All right, Ethel's going to step up.

Because you moved, that actually is really annoying. Okay, no longer grab, no flat checks required, but I am going to do a double slice. Double slice. Green is the warhammer. Okay, I rolled. I'm going to use a... No, I'm not going to use my bottle cap at this round. All right, I roll a natural one with the hatchet. But the warhammer is a natural 19, so that's going to be a 38 to hit.

Okay, the 38 to hit. Give me that damage, and then let's resolve this fumboni. Okay, that's going to be a measly 11 points of damage. Okay, six points of damage. And now, Joe, give me a fumble. The pressure's over, oh, the day will tumble. Fan and the fumble. Oh.

Before you do that, give me my precision damage. Precision? Precision. 15. It was 15. 15 precision damage? 15 negative energy damage. Okay. Persistent, that's what I meant to say. Persistent. 15 precision damage? 15 negative energy damage. Okay. Persistent, that's what I meant to say.

Persistent. The very damage of death. And then a flat check to see if I get out of it. DC 15, 19. Oh, come on! Was there ever any doubt in your mind? Oh, that sucks. It was persistent damage. Troy's gonna run!

Troy's gonna be your Troy's gonna roll. He's gonna roll. He's gonna roll. Merry Christmas. All right. Matthew's fumble is gonna come from Randall in Philadelphia. Randall? Is Randall here? Randall? Oh, my God.

Oh, hey. Randall. Randall. Yes, definitely him. I don't like this title, and you're not going to like this title either. Joe's Fitness. Oh, no. Is that you, Randall?

Yeah. Suddenly, your weapon feels so heavy. Your lungs start to burn with each breath, and you are sweating profusely. Drop your weapon. Oh. And roll a Fortitude, John. Oh. Did it say John? It didn't.

Oh. I added it for flair. All right, so... Natural 20 on the Fortitude, John. No additional John. Nice. Okay, yeah, I do drop the hatchet. The hatchet, yes.

You bury the hatchet. Because you're crying so much. Oh, yeah, I'm still... Oh, no, am I still crying? No, you're no longer sobbing and drooling. Oh, okay. But your cheeks are wet with tears. It's pretty much a natural stage, Rethel. Was that your final action

or do you have another one? No, I moved and double sliced. Haki. Haki. You're confused. You're stunned one. All right, so Suki is going to fly past Ethel on top of the little building on the boat. Kaka.

Kaka. And she's going to dispel Haki and end her wild shape because it doesn't make any sense and I'm not doing enough damage. See you, Haki. Bye, Haki. And that's all I can do because I'm stunned. Okay. Let's put...

So all of a sudden Suki is back in her white flowing dress on top of it looking very confused. Sweet. Where am I? Suki and Haki. It's gone, Z. Is. Where am I? Shpool, Suki, and Haki. It's gone, Z. Is that your whole turn? Yes. I only have two actions. How's that? It is now

Eris's turn. Eris. So. What are you thinking? So! The result of my organ sight doesn't go away after the first time I cast it. It lasts for a minute. So I'm going to try to do telekinetic projectile again.

Woo-hoo. Cool. Love a cantrip. Mother. 18. Flat-footed. Still missed by a mile. By how much?

By a mile. It is a fumble, but don't worry about it. Cool, cool, cool, cool. This is going great. I'm worried. We're no closer to getting our tricorn. Oh my god. I know, we need that hat. Yeah, there's a lot. Shit. There's a lot going on here. I know. We need that hat. Yeah, there's a lot.

Shit. There's a lot going on here. I know. I'm going to cast Needle of Vengeance. What's it called? Needle of Vengeance. It's my focus spell, and it only costs one action that I have left. Needle of Vengeance.

You need to do a saving throw. Basic will save. Basic will save. Okay. Ya basic. Ya basic. He said to the will save. 33. God damn it. All right.

Don't mess with me on Christmas. I'm pretty sure nothing happens if you are good with that. Yeah. What's the spell? Needle of Vengeance. Oh, Needle of Vengeance. Yeah. Yeah, on a regular old

success. Yeah, nothing happens. Cool, cool, cool. You just see Aeris like waving her fucking hands around and nothing is happening. There's like people turning into birds and just people waving and babbling incoherently. A witch who should be powerful just going,

Oh, God! It is Aldo's turn. You guys have got this thing on the ropes, but... Okay, Aldo, I think, unfortunately, he's going to have to spend an action stepping over to the other edge, the northern edge of this building. And he's going to try...

He's going to throw another bottle of lightning, buffle. Let's get that natural 20. We're due. That is a... Shit. A 31. 31 is a 31. 31 is a hit. Yes, right.

Good. Bottle of lightning. All right, that's eight points of electricity damage. Cool. Again, flat-footed until the beginning of my next turn. Also cool. Second final action in this round. For me, I'm going to throw another Acid Flask.

Okay. Fuck, miss again. But it's still going to be another four points of acid damage on top of the... Got it? That's it. That's it? Yep. Atticus, round out round three for us.

Atticus is going to slowly look to his left. Is this ship still visible? Oh, yeah. Every round that's gone by in this combat, it's getting closer and closer and closer. In fact, it's moving unnaturally fast toward you, and you see several figures aboard. The blood wind.

We are about to be attacked. Perhaps boarded? He looks back at the creature. But you will not live to see it. You know you're going to die. Stop now. Stop. Save your own life.

Perhaps we can help you. Who are you? What is your name? Death. Oh, shit. He fires a magic missile. All right. Three action. John, magic missiles.

Shoot, shoot, shoot. Three shots. John, magic missiles. Three shots. God, rolling like hot garbage. It's a total of a nine. Oh, no. So gross. Oh, come on. God damn it. Nine points of damage to end round three.

And we go into round four, and yet again, that boat gets closer and closer. It's almost as if round by round, it's getting closer, and you're going to have less time to prep for whatever's on the boat. Yeah, so that's what he was kind of like warning everybody. It's like, we have a fight coming! Save your spells! Is that what you fight coming. Save your spells. Save your spells. Is that what you say?

Save your spell slots. There's a river fight coming. River fight coming. River fight coming. Classic river fight. He says, he yells, save your spell slots. Very clearly. Save your spells.

They probably have in-universe terminology for stuff like that. Yeah, it's probably spell slots. Probably energy. Save your energy. Save your energy. Well, what kind of... Oh, should we take a nap? Ethel, Ethel.

No, you don't look with spells. Don't fight. Got it. What's the point, anyway? Ethel's like, okay. He held back. He doesn't do anything. I'm just kidding.

Just kill it. Use everything. It goes to claw'm just kidding. Just kill it. Use everything. It goes to Claw Ethel. Oh, boy. 36. It's a hit. Brother.

Regular hit. Regular old hit, huh? How about 2d10 plus 7? That is going to be 19 points of piercing damage. Second action, grab. Third action, mind crushed. Give me a will save. This is bad.

I believe in you. Almost a natural one, but it bounds to be a natural 13 for a 27. Fail. Oh my god. 66 mental 27. Fail. Oh my god! 66 mental damage. Oh!

16 points of damage. As it just... On a critical failure, you're also affected by feeble mind. Which would have changed. Ethel's in rough shape. Oh no! Oh no! which would have changed. Ethel's in rough shape. Isn't that what got Calabras? Yep. Oh, no.

Oh, no. So it has now done this twice to Ethel, and Ethel is knocking on death's door as the blood wind moves ever closer, and it's Ethel's turn. Fall back! Fall back! You're grabbed. It's just like squeezing your mind,

and you're seeing your memories of your wife and your children. It's almost as if they're being pulled away from your brain. Like it's eating your memories and your dreams. And being replaced with memories of paperwork. Endless packets of paperwork certifying my divorce in the eyes of the court. All right, Ethel is not going to back away. He's instead going to spend an action to draw the plus two short sword.

Oh, all right. Provokes, right? Interact action. Yeah, but it doesn't have a reaction. It doesn't have a... All right. Okay. Double slice.

Wait, that's a manipulate action to draw, right? Is it manipulate or interact? Manipulate? That guy said yeah, so give me a DC five flat check. Oh, right, because I'm grappled. I always trust that guy. Five. Wow.

You barely get it out. Barely skating by. Okay. Double slice. The green is the war hammer, just so I remember. Okay. And the other one's on the ground, right? Oh, you pulled out a new weapon.

I pulled out a new weapon. I'm going to use my bottle cap. Come on, Matthew! Joe and Sydney do not have one. I'm going to use the bottle cap on the plus two short sword. So mean.

It's not Christmassy. Oh, Matthew! I rolled a natural ten, and I was like, I don't think that's going to hit. You've been ice cold since, like, San Francisco. I need new dice. I need new dice. For, like, six months.

It's insane. Okay. So is it insane? I think. But it's all right. All right, that's a 30 on the Warhammer. That'll hit. Big Warhammer fan there in the third row.

Nine points of damage. No, I'm sorry. Twelve points of damage. Seven points of damage. The 15 crash. Ten commandments. Matthew, you're on fire tonight, dude. Fifteen.

Ten. Ten commandments. Even though you can't roll your way out of a paper bag, you're on fire tonight, dude. Fifteen, ten, ten commandments. Even though you can't roll your way out of a paper bag, you're very funny. Thanks. Thanks. It is Suki's turn. Do you want to waste another couple rounds being a hawk? My first idea was to fly to the other ship, but I was like, it's so far away.

And then as soon as I fucking came out of bird form, you're like, boy, is that ship close. So, my bad. Cheddar cheese popcorn. You're opening up your stocking. Because you're here. Oh, wow. A cute little Cthulian. He's just taking the liberty to peek early.

Aw, Sidney. And he took my bottle cap away. And this is what I do for him. Yeah. Oh, there's meat in mine. Nothing like a little meat in your stocking. She gave me coal.

She put coal in my stocking. Oh, terrible. John, yes. Are these shooters? Is this a beholder? You've got to mix them, they're mixers don't shoot it, I think it's just juice five hour energies with alcohol

wait, Sid, is this a beholder? yes! and a wiener woman that's about the right size I got a dragon with a hat yes I hope you guys are being entertained by us opening our presents.

Merry Christmas. This is a very interesting situation. And I got coal candy. Oh. Alright. Suki. This was so nice of you. Thank you so much. Merry Christmas, guys. Thank you. Suki reaches out both

hands and casts Hydraulic Torrent. And she is going to raise a huge beam of water behind the creature, waterbender style. And then she's going to twist it around and shoot a beam of water at this fucking sloth to try to knock it off the ship. Make a fortitude save, Troy. Okay. What's in your mouth? Are you snacking on air?

I'm eating coal. I'm eating coal. Fortitude save, huh? Yeah, fortitude save. Oh! Yay! What's the total, dude? That's a 17.

Oh, yeah, you failed. Did he critically fail? Well, no, because the critical would have to be... Because mine's a 25. So, yeah. But still, 8d6 bludgeoning damage. Wow. Oh, nice.

Oh, yeah, buddy. Yeah. Holy moly. Get ready for ten minutes while Sydney adds up eight to six. Someone roll it online for her. Simple math is hard, okay? Oh, my God. In front of an audience.

21 points of bludgeoning damage. Nice. Nice, dude. That was a good one. Nice. Still. We got it. Still up.

The creature is still up. Yeah, I know. Is it lying? What? Oh, wait, sorry. No, you're not. Because you failed, you are pushed back five feet off the boat. Bye.

Bye. Bye, Sloth. I was shaking up the thing! Have fun in the water. I bet that thing can't swim. It had two hit points left. As it goes into the water, it hits its head on the side of the boat.

Yeah! Did it! button. Dude, that is amazing! Ethel is bleeding profusely out of his eyes, ears, and other places where he's been clawed. And he's crying.

I've stopped crying. I'm going to keep you on initiative order here because everything is on a clock as this thing is approaching you. No, that's bad news. So this is a time. I'll just let you know it's a time to heal, a time to buff, a time to give, a time to laugh.

Eris, it is your turn. It's a time for love. For everything there is a season. I guess I see Ethel struggling a bit. Get that on your boards, kid. I wish I had it. struggling a bit. Get that on your boards, kid. I wish I had it right now. Oh, wait. Hold on. Hold on, though. So that was two actions for that. Can I

also, third action, one action, reach out and touch Ethel from where I'm at? Can I just reach down from the... Stop being ridiculous. Why? Ethel is next to me. You're gonna crouch down and reach to touch Ethel? Yes.

Okay. Yeah. Must his hair? Yeah, I just slap him on the head. Okay. Smack him. I just want to say for the record, Ethel has great hair. You know what?

Ethel sounds very handsome. Yes, I think Suki notices. That usually includes great hair. Yeah, that's true. Suki, she notices. As soon as she touched the hair, she's like, oh. Look at this beefcake. Oh!

Look at that beefcake. I didn't. And you take seven points of healing. Take it. Take that. Ethel falls. Seven. Thank you.

Yeah. Seven points of healing. All right, now it's Eris' turn. I love how it's like Suki and Eris, we just go to Ethel's need. I'm going to go to Ethel and try to soothe him. Being like, oh, Ethel, it's going to be okay. You didn't see your divorce papers happening again in front of your eyes. I can't hear my children's laughter.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm targeting your mind and boosting your mental defenses to heal your wounds. So hopefully that boosting your mental defenses helps with all of that going on. Okay. All of that baggage.

D10. It rolled a two. You get six points of healing. Six points. I'm not doing a good job, because I don't relate to what you're going through. Also, Kate, do you have to move up to him? Is that a touch thing?

30-foot range, Joe. Ooh. I mean, he's also not in line of sight. Do you want to move up to him? Sure. Sure. I'm just double checking. All right, you slide up.

Shit's important. Since when were you Mr. Rules? Since he was born. All right, so you move up. You do a little healing. Aldo, what would you like to do? Aldo is going to move over to Ethel, and he's going to pull out an elixir of life.

And it's just like, look up and open your mouth! And he's going to pour it down his throat. Pour it down his throat, okay? How much healing does he get? Five more points of healing. All right. We're doing our best. So he's definitely dead.

He's definitely going to die in this fight. His next encounter is going to be harrowing. Yeah. Atticus, can you do anything? Or you want to buff yourself? Or you want to do something fun? Oh, Atticus is going to buff himself. Buff.

Yeah, Atticus will... He looks across the water as this boat unnaturally closes on them he is going to he's going to cast fly on himself just to be prepared for what's next fly, and then he flies over top of Aldo and what's her name who's not on the screen? The only character not on the screen because Troy doesn't know how to do World 20. How dare you? Who is on the screen? Nice perspective. That's good work. He flies up toward the camera and just waits for this ship to come. I love it.

Wait, but who are you not seeing on the map? I see everybody. We see her, but we don't see her name. Oh, Suki's name is not there. Suki's name is not there. The whole audience can't see Suki's name. They know who she is. They know who she is.

From Angeline's amazing art. So yeah, he casts fly and then hovers above the party looking at this ship. And it's just like, that ship picked the wrong boat to mess with. They are done! Yeah. Okay. We have a flying rat. Yeah.

It's now round five. And here's what we're going to do. I'm going to take you out of initiative order, but you all have an opportunity to do a round's worth of stuff before this boat is on you. So I'm just going to walk across the table here and tell me what you want to do. If anything, maybe you just

flavor-wise steal yourself. Or maybe you cast shield. I don't know. Suki. Yeah, I'm going to do a two-action heal again on Ethel because he's down so much. So that's going to be only 12 points. My heal's not that good, but 12 points. That's great.

It's way more than he's been healing. That's more damage than you did to the Neelith. That's not true. Across four rounds. And then I'm going I killed it I'm going to cast guidance On Ethel

So a plus one to your attack roll Great Perfect And perception checks and saving throw skill check Make a note as we won't be playing this for weeks Write it down Atticus, Billy Joe? Atticus.

Do I get to go? Do we just lose the music? You do. I'm just not going in initiative order. Oh. But if you want to go ahead and joke. No, that's fine. You can go ahead and joke.

Do I get the sense that with the unnatural speed of this ship, that it will be on us, like, within a matter of six seconds? Yeah, 10, 15 seconds? Six seconds. Yeah, ten, fifteen seconds? Six seconds. Then he is going to use his new eighth level focus power of invisibility cloak. Oh, cool. So he rises above everyone

and then vanishes into thin air. And then with my last action I'm going to do a perception, just looking closely at what's coming to see. And... Oh, baby! Sorry, I get excited about good die rolls.

They're so rare. I know. It's a 31 perception. Oh, yeah, all right. The ship is about twice the size of the Ceylon Starling, and you see what looks like at least eight combatants on board. Wow. Eight. So I'll say this.

If it's twice our size, it could be as many as like 300 people on board. Yeah. Exactly. We're looking at at least eight. Oh, I just thought, don't underestimate the fact that everyone below decks may be a monster. That's true.

Well, the people below decks might be enslaved. They might be rowing the ship. That's true. We have to free them and bring them aboard our ship. But better for this moment to assume they're all horrible monsters. So just be aware they may come up from behind you at any moment.

All right, Eris. I'm going to cast Mage Armor on myself. Classic. And, I mean, so Atticus rolled and told us some great stuff. Is there anything else I can possibly see that would help us prepare any knowledge? You don't think so. I might think so. I might think so. You might think so.

Yeah. I feel like I think so. Then why did you ask? Just roll. You have one action anyway, right? Yeah. There's nothing else to use it on. Use the perception.

You could crit. You could do a cantrip, though, if you want to do any buff. Is there a buffing cantrip? Guidance. A little buff trip? Guidance. A buff.

Oh, yeah. Well, um... A little buff trip? Guidance. A little buff... Oh, yeah. Well... A little guidance. I'm going to cast dancing lights to think that the boat is going somewhere else. Oh!

Oh, that's a clever thing. Oh, that's clever. That's just like Master and Commander. That's almost exactly what happens in Master and Commander. And we all know that

Kate's seen that movie several times. Yeah, I know. She loves movies. She does all movies. If you'd just given her a moment, she would have said, you know, like in Master and Commander. Yeah, you know, like in Master and Commander.

You remember that time I watched Master and Commander? You remember that time I watched a movie? Those would be her next words. Ethel. All right, Ethel is going to do battle medicine to heal himself. Okay. And let me see how that goes. It goes okay.

So then he is also going to drink a potion. Mm-hmm. A lesser healing potion. Yeah, lesser. Okay. This is thrilling, Matthew. Okay, well, it's vital if you want to survive. Okay, and then he will...

How close? It's like imminently about to strike us? Six seconds. We're having a good time. I like how you yell at me and say, I'm there. I'm like, what do I see? And you're like, it's here!

It's here! All right, I'm not going to bother with my crossbow, then, because we don't have time. Okay. For my last action, I will... Talk to Pedro Alacabam. Is he here? Is he still undressed? He's...

Is he still ready for me? I'm still waiting! He was frozen in fear with his shirt halfway open. Is he bracing himself against the Afkastle? Yes, he is. Is this your god? All right, and I will do a perception check. Okay.

To see if I can detect the sort of combatants we'll be facing. That'll be a 33. Some of them seem to be wielding crossbows, while others seem to be wielding falchions. What? Wow, falchions. What? Old school giant slayer, dude. Yeah, this is like old days. Everybody, take

cover. Get behind something. Take cover. Get behind something. Something like Eris. I get behind Andrew. Get behind the freak! What? like, Eris. I get behind Pedro. You get behind Pedro and Kabam. Get behind

the freak! What? Excuse me? I'm sorry. I'm very frightened. I just came out.

I'm very judgmental when I'm frightened. You are very judgmental when you're frightened. I'm so sorry. It is Aldo's

turn. That was really uncool, Aldo. Thanks, Ethel. Agreed. Welcome. Look up, and Aldo. All right, all right. Thanks, Ethel. Agreed. Welcome. Look up. And he keeps pouring elixirs of life down his throat,

like he's Jennifer Beals. Oh, wow. OK, 18 points of healing. Whoa. I am almost at the full. That's nice. Yes. Good. I am almost at the full. That's amazing. Yes! Good. Yes! Nice!

And, uh, you do that. I did? Well said, Troy. Well said. Thanks. Really sum that up. You barely have a moment to regain your composure as the blood wind swiftly slides alongside the seven starling.

And eight disreputable-looking men and women make way to board your ship. Oh, it's a boarding action, Matthew! You see that some of them are starting to come over while the others are just readying their crossbows. But a couple other things happen. starting to come over while the others are just readying their crossbows, but a couple other things happen. As they start to do this, you hear this low woofing noise coming from the

boat itself. Woof! As it... Yes! Yes, exactly! Not quite. Just like that! Not quite like that. Just like that. You dummy. I was picturing more like, woof, woof, woof, woof.

There's a dog on that boat. There's a dog on the boat. Get that dog off that boat. It's more like, woof, woof, woof. Oh, they said it was laughing. They said it sounded like it was laughing. The boat.

It's the boat. Sounds like the boat itself The boat sent in. It sounds like the boat itself is laughing at you. And as it laughs, you see its two red sails part. Actually, I'm going to show you the map for this because it's so fucking awesome. Oh, no. Oh, dear. I don't care for that.

Oh, shit. Oh, what? Damn. The red sails sort of part, and in addition to those eight people, you see two other figures sort of hidden in the blood-drenched sails. One of them looks like a dark spectral woman

with long claws. You can barely discern her face as she floats there in and out of the sails as they whip by. You do see like two red eyes, this oddly feminine shape floating there. And then the other is a man who has what looks like a twisted alien-like visage. And that's half hidden behind a veil, but also revealing his mouth that has long, sharp teeth. And he's hard to focus on because it seems like there's several images of him as he stands there, just overlapping.

And he says in sort of a throaty, phlegmy voice, he's like... Like he was drinking a lot of eggnog? Yeah, like he was drinking a lot of Yellow Russians. He says, the Draculisk only did half the job. Oh, shit! Now my crew and I will finish it! And sitting atop his head is a tricorn hat. Oh, Captain, you son of a bitch!

And we'll see you next year, folks. 2022! Thank you! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Thank you, folks! Let's go, Burt. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network.

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