The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 57 – The Adventures of Pepsi and Chickenpoon

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

It's a new year, but the heroes are in the same old trouble when a Dreamlands boat sails toward the Sellen Starling and its occupants mount an attack! Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/q2vP0ewAqFA For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment Juicy fruit is gonna move ya The juice is soft, it gets right to ya Juicy fruit, the taste, the taste, the taste is gonna move ya Happy New Year! Juicy fruit lovers everywhere

Or if you're like Matthew, Big Red lovers. Try to keep Matthew from a pack of Big Red. You can't do it. You can't do it. Big Red's fine and all, but have you guys had, was it the zebra stripe? Oh, zebra stripe. Fruit stripe, right? Fruit stripe.

Yeah, fruit stripe. Yikes, stripes. The bubble tape. Fruit stripe gum. Bubble Fruit stripe. Yeah, fruit stripe. Yikes, stripes. The bubble tape. Fruit stripe gum. Bubble tape. Bubble tape. It wasn't good gum, but it was a classic. Hubba Bubba with the watermelon in the middle?

What about Big League Chew? Big League Chew, man. That was where it was at. It promoted tobacco use amongst children. That's what you want in your gum. tobacco use amongst children. That's what you want in your gum. Wait, who came up with that?

Who started Big League Chew? It was... A genius. I know, he was a genius. Yeah, because in the 80s, all the dudes had Lenny Dykstra cheeks, like huge wad of chew in their mouth. And so little kids were like, I want to be just like my heroes. So we'd be sitting there playing Little League, All the dudes had like Lenny Dykstra cheeks, like huge wad of chew in their mouth. And so little kids were like, I want to be just like my heroes.

So we'd be sitting there playing Little League, taking a wad of watermelon, popping it in there. We didn't know. Yeah. No one now regrets wanting to be like Lenny Dykstra. It is. His name is Rob Nelsonelson and i know him because not personally i know him because of that amazing documentary that i don't know if you've ever watched skid uh i keep telling you to watch it uh the battered bastards of baseball on netflix oh it's phenomenal documentary about minor league baseball and this guy who was in on this famous team from Portland in the 70s also happened to invent big league chew. He never really made it as a pro player,

but he played on this minor league team and then he created big league chew. Yeah. I loved big league chew. It's good stuff. Do you guys big gum chewers these days? I haven't chewed gum in 14 years. I chew gum almost every day. Really?

Really. Really. It's because of your overwhelming halitosis. It's amazing I got married. No, I just keep it in my car and I just use it as like a breath freshener. I always have like mint gum, like little mint gums, and I chew them

when I'm in the car and then when I get to wherever I'm going I just throw them in the trash. Kate, you a big gum chewer? No. I don't like when other people chew gum, so I know that I'm going to do the thing that I hate when I chew the gum, just like play with it in my mouth and be obnoxious. So I have Altoids because I'm an adult.

Joe. Altoids. I get in the car and I get out my bubble tape. I don't know what you're talking about My mom thought gum chewing in general Was rude So I never got in the habit Like I would chew gum

But mostly I'm a mince person I pegged you for a mince person Skid, I've never seen you If you're a gum chewer I wouldn't know Because you've never offered me a stick No, I used to chew a lot of gum as a kid. I chewed gum all the time. I loved the big gum connoisseur.

I loved the Trident fruit-flavored gum. Oh, sure. That was great. Every time I see the old Tampa Bay Buccaneers uniforms, I'm reminded of the same color as the Trident fruit-flavored gum. The pirate, the orange, it was the same color. But Trident fruit-flavored gum. The pirate, the orange, it was the same color. But yeah, not in many years.

I don't drink a lot. But I used to take like a big fistful. That's why I like Big League Chew as well, because you take a big fistful of it, just cram it all in your mouth. Just get a blast of flavor and then spit it out after five seconds. Sydney, as a three-pack-a-day smoker, I imagine you chew a lot of gum. I'm not a smoker. Yeah, but most people don't know that. Like, I mean,

in the green room before a live show, she's got to take about eight smoke breaks in an hour before the show. It's just wild. She's always ranting about how you used to be able to smoke in the green room, and now you can't anymore at these venues. It's weird. She's always ranting about how you used to be able to smoke in the green room. Now you can't anymore at these venues. It's weird. Covered in patches.

She was sitting next to me in Philly. I was like shaking the table because, you know, two hours in, I was like my knees. I was like, I just have to go smoke. I have to go. I have to get out. Get out. No, I don't smoke. She's like packing her mic pack.

I don't smoke I sometimes carry gum like Joe does Just as like a breath freshener But I like mints better Because I like candy I don't like gum because it doesn't give me the satisfaction That candy does Because you spit gum out

You don't eat the gum So I'm more often to have like I'm more often to have like... What? I'm sorry. What? People from New Jersey swallow it whole. You guys swallow your gum? In upstate New York, you're okay

wasting your gum like that. Some of us. It must be nice. A weird New Jersey fact, like in in Parks and Rec how they put their whole mouth over the water. Like something only they do in that town. Joe is just eating packs of gum. Like full packs.

Just one after another popping them in, swallowing them. Oh, man. I like to chew on candy. I like, like, um, I don't know, like jujubees. Like really chewy candies that take a while to eat. So, I don't know. Gum jujubees, like really chewy candies that take a while to eat. So I don't know. Gum doesn't do it for me. We were probably about a year, two years in to Glass Cannon, and I got Invisalign. And so I had Invisalign. I had to leave it on all day long. I probably chewed gum, maybe at an above average rate for someone my age. And then I couldn't chew gum for the longest time.

And now that I've had Invisalign out for a few years now, I just, it kind of broke me of my gum thing. I will say, Troy, I also had Invisalign later in life, like as an adult at 25, I think. And I am a snacker. You guys know this about me. I've always been a snacker. And oh my God, it did it curb my snacking for like years.

Like I just couldn't, I could not snack. I couldn't eat throughout the day. You had to like plan three meals a day when you were going to take your little retainers out because you had to brush your teeth and rinse with water. And I totally stopped snacking that whole entire time. It was crazy. Yeah, I thought I was going to drop like 20 pounds and I didn't because during those during those three times, I would just shove as much food in as possible. All right. You developed another bad habit.

For me, I was like, should I get Invisalign even though for no reason, just for the diet purpose? And then I realized I would do exactly what Troy just described. I will say. Chocolate cake three times a day. And they're not a sponsor, but we should call them up. Cindy, I don't know if you'll agree. Invisalign is like the greatest thing ever. Oh, yeah.

A thousand percent. If you're like, I don't if you'll agree. Invisalign is like the greatest thing ever. Oh, yeah. It's the greatest. If you're like, I don't want to get racist. Invisalign's great. I mean, you can see them. You watch early videos of like when we're doing the Twitch, I was doing like intros to the Dark Souls videos. I got the fucking Invisalign in my mouth because I was doing 20 takes. So it's kind of a little annoying, but it's over like that. And it's amazing how much it helped to straighten up some spaces.

Yeah, I think most people probably don't notice it but whenever i go back and i'm listening to an old episode of the gcp for one reason or another i'll be like wait a minute this is an invisalign time this yeah you can you can hear it it's a little bit of a list yeah it's a slight list you also started i think it i don't know if it was because of the invisalign or just coincided with it but you started like doing this, like smacking your lips thing. Well, you literally can see it on the way.

Take a number. If you want to talk about my smack and my lips thing, that's a big bone of contention. What people don't realize is the reason you hear it so much is because my audio is the audio that is sampled my room tones. That's why you're hearing old Smacky McLips. You just like hanging out, leaning, literally, your weight on the microphone. And then you smack your lips.

That's kind of the issue. Lip smack, you wouldn't be so bad if it was back here. Every time I smack, I'll take a step back. Take a sniff Pull it out The taste is gonna move you When you pop it in your mouth Those songs were very sexual

And it's been like an earworm all day So I watch like the old 80s commercials And it's just like women taking their clothes off And the songs are like Take a sniff Pull it out The taste is gonna move you When you pop it in your mouth and the songs are like, take a sniff, pull it out. The taste is going to move you.

Pop it in your mouth. Is that a cigar you're gesturing with? This? No. A friend of the show, Carrie Haley, upon visiting, I don't know if, with our first time in Portland, one of the many things I made fun of in that silly little town is that you can't get a straw in any restaurants. They don't give out straws

because that's what they're marching to. But she gave me this portable straw. It's like a metal straw. So next time I visit Portland, I can use it. And this is the case that it comes in. Oh. That's a huge case.

My son was playing with it. But I like having a little thing in my hand. When you're working the hi-hat. It's kind of like a David Letterman thing. Like having a pen. It's fun having a pen. Pen and the cards. I love my metal straws.

I have a bunch of metal straws. Whenever I go to the movie theater, I bring my metal straws. Yeah, I have them too. That's a good idea. Yeah. By the way, Matthew, Joe, I assume you know this from watching that documentary, but the co-creator of Big League Chew was Todd Field. Yeah. Yes, I knew this.

I knew this. I just had a conversation about this. Todd Field was the bat boy on that minor league Portland team. Yeah. The guy who directed Tar was the co-creator of Big League Chew as a child. He's had an interesting life. He certainly has. Wonderful director.

Now we know where he got his seed money for that film. Big Gum. Well, speaking of Big Gum, you guys ended in a sticky situation in Philadelphia. Oh, man. Good one. How does he do it? Good night.

Man, that Philly show, that's the last time. I said it on Cannon Fodder yesterday. The last time that I. Man, that Philly show. That's the last time. I said it on Cannon Fodder yesterday. That's the last time that I gamed was that Philly show. It was the last time I played a game, and so I have not played in a month. And that time away, I'm excited. I'm excited to jump back in. But I want to just remind you guys what happened, because I think that you have probably forgot.

While you were having a little eggnog, chewing a little gum over the holidays as one does. So, we were in the mediocre city of Philadelphia at the outstanding City Winery venue. How nice was that venue? Amazing.

So nice. So much fun, too. Such a good show. Fun time. We definitely have to go back there next year. It was just one of the nicest places we've ever played. I think we left the place the way we found it. There are so many

of these venues. They come out to us after the show, and people are like, that was awesome. We never see shows like that. That was really neat. I really liked that. That was fun. Nobody said that at Cinewine. Really? I don't know if we'll be invited back.

There was one woman, if you guys remember, who worked there, who wasn't working the event, who came up to us and she knew about D&D, used to play back in the day with a group. She was an only female player and was an early player of D&D and was so excited about the show and wanted to call her girlfriend, who she knew and knows people in the industry. And she was like, I wish I knew that you guys were here tonight. We would have come to the show.

So she was very excited. So one person at City Winery. Doesn't count. That was pre-show. She didn't say anything post-show. One of the bartenders had a chain mail container full of dice. I saw it on his person and I was like, hey, what is that thing? It looks cool, an accessory pouch.

And he takes it off and he poured it on the counter. It was dice. So I think that maybe they weren't that surprised that it was so cool because they know that they're already gamers. Yeah, that's possible. Maybe they were mad because Kate drank all their wine. She really did get after the wine.

She likes that Syrah. You guys can't be mean to Kate. She needs her Syrah. Wine goes bad if you leave it open. Yeah. It's a good point, Kate. The wine is for drinking. You're not supposed to just look at it. We were at the city chewing gum as an adult, and then some people drink wine.

Sure. Wait, no. Wine only becomes alcoholic if you leave it open. You drink it right away. There's no alcohol. I came here to chew gum and drink wine, and I'm all out of wine. Because Kate drank it.

Well, at that sesh, our heroes once again attempted this dreamland excursion ritual in search of another quote-unquote gift that they hoped to present to someone named the Mad Poet.

They know that Count Liles, who they're going after, traveled to the dimensions of dreams, gathering these gifts to give to the Mad Poet. The Mad Poet then imparted some sort of knowledge to Count Liles, and now Liles is down south chasing down a copy of the Necronomicon. So, you guys,

our heroes, you're following in Liles' footsteps, traveling to the Dream heroes, you're following in Lyle's footsteps, traveling to the Dreamlands, looking for the same gifts that he found to give to the mad poet so you can speak to him and find out what Lyle's is up to. So, this time, after enacting this ritual again

in search of a captain's tricorn hat, you woke up back on the boat. And you're like, what, did we fail the ritual? You feel like you lost some time somehow because you don't have any memory of traveling there. But there you are, just waking up on the boat. You don't know what's going on. So you go up on the deck, and while everything looks normal, everything seems a bit off. People are acting a little weird. Something looks different, but you can't put

your finger on it. You go to the stern and Skywin, your captain, is standing there just staring like she can hear something or see something. Pedro Alacabam, son of Steve Alacabam, nay, Magic Alacabam, is

struggling to catch fish. But you look in the water and you see all of these bioluminescent fish floating around. You look and you see these elephant-like creatures on the shore. You do a nature check and you realize that they're not native to the Verdun forest. Something is wrong. And then at that moment, two things happen. You see, emerging from the fog behind you, this ship with blood-red sails emerge. This is a ship that you know has been hunting you, and now it's quickly moving toward your boat.

And then the second thing that happened is Skywynn's head snaps back, her clothes fall to the ground, and she sprouts claws and fangs and turns into this hideous beast and goes after you. You fight her and she F's you up, but when you defeat the false Skywind, you have just a moment to heal and buff before the Bloodwind slides alongside you

full of treacherous-looking scallywags. Scallywags. As it slides alongside you, you all hear this low, dark laugh, almost as if it was coming from the boat itself. It has these two blood-drenched sails, and they're, like, flattering in the breeze,

fluttering in the breeze, and they part, and two figures emerge. There's a dark, spectral-looking woman with long claws, and there's a man with an alien-like visage that's slightly out of focus. And he addresses you and lets you know that the Draculis that killed Sir Julie, that killed Ave Maria, and almost killed all of you, was sent by him.

And now he's here with his crew to finish the job. And atop his head, of course, is a captain's tricorn hat. They disappear back into the folds of these drenched sails. And eight crew members stand ready to attack, board your boat, mess you up. First of the year.

Let's roll for initiative. Okay. Oh, we get a new Anish John. All right. New Anish John. I like to start a year with a fresh Anish. Call me old-fashioned, but I like a fresh Anish. It's one of my resolutions.

Reception, I'm imagining is going to be our best bet here? Yeah, perception. Perception would be great. You're looking. How fast can you look? Aldo, what'd you get? 30. 30 for Aldo.

Eris? I got a natural 19, so that's a 40. Whoa! Damn! Atticus Grimm? 40? Yeah, I got a natural 19. I have 11 perception.

That's a 30. That's 40, right? That would be a 30. 30. No. You looked at us. You looked back at us like you didn't believe us. Did you hit the zero early today there, Kate?

I kind of like the 40. I think Kate should keep the 40 because she's really confident about it. She was so confident. I think she should keep the number. 19 plus 11. What's the problem? I'm really, really ready for this game right now. I don't know about you guys, but I have an 11 initiative.

I rolled garbage and got a 15. Garbage! So sad about my roll. Bad roll to start the year. That's okay. Get it out of the way. You've got 52 more weeks to fail. Suki?

24. Not great. Not bad. Pretty good, but not a 40. Should we. Suki? 24. Not great. Not bad. Pretty good, but not a 40. Should we check your math? No, the math that Kate had also sounded good to me, but my math is correct. Thank you.

And what about known mathematician? Matthew, what did Ethel get? 31. 31. You good at math, Matthew? No, I'm okay. I'm out of practice. You know, you can spell math with four of the, I'm okay. I'm out of practice.

You know, you can spell math with four of the letters in your name. It's true. It's true. You could call him math for short. If you'd allow it. He prefers that. It's my buddy, math. Excuse me, Matt.

It's math. It's math. Math. And when I'm in England, it's maths. Math. I prefer math. All right, let's go to this stupid old map. No, this map is beautiful.

It is beautiful. I mean, look at this. This is, again, another Dave M. special. Okay, it is going to be my turn to start one of these guys. I love, you guys know that I love when there's 45 NPCs that I have to control. It's just a GM's dream. So I'll start with Scallywag number 42. He's the one down here towards the front of the ship here.

Would that be Port and Starbird? Starbird, right? Yes. Okay. Great. There he is. Now, here's what I'm going to do. You see how it's 10 feet between the boat and you?

That's a mistake on my part. I wanted to have those boats be a little closer. And the reason being, it just makes it easier for a boarding action because of the— for both you and the NPCs, because you can use the leap action. If you can move up to, I think it's up to like 20 feet, you can leap 10 feet. And if you have 30 feet of movement, you can leap up to 15 feet. It's just an action.

You don't have to roll an athletics check. But it's technically, it would be a 15 foot jump because the square you land in is included in that. So imagine that this is 5 feet closer for the purposes of leaping across so that you can just do it as an action. Because I don't think any of you have less than 20 feet of movement, right?

No. No, I don't think I do. No. Okay, great. 10 feet if your speed is at least 15 feet. No, I don't think I do. Okay, great. Excuse me, just to make sure I get that correctly. 10 feet if your speed is at least 15 feet. 15 feet if your speed is at least 30. So as long as your speed doesn't change for any reason, which it could,

just keep that in mind. You can make that jump with a regular action. Are we at the same altitude? Are the decks basically level? They're level enough for the purposes of this combat, yeah. Great. Maybe this boat's slightly higher, but it's not going to affect your leap action. I have another question.

Miner, bookkeeping, perhaps, issue? Yes, the dumb chewer in the back. Atticus isn't on the map. Well, that's a real oversight. So what happened was Atticus flew, flew up above everyone. You did a hilarious joke of increasing his size so the perspective actually looked like he was flying toward the camera. That's right. And then I think you immediately just deleted his pawn and every record of his character in the journal, and then moved on with your life.

You know what? That sounds accurate, but I do have him. And, yeah, you were floating above. There you are, right there. There he is. There's my buddy. Happy as can be. So you're floating, and as we said on Cannon Fodder,

you took an actor action last time because hovering itself is an action. But enough about you. Let's talk about me and my characters. This guy down here, he's got a crossbow out. As I mentioned to you at the end of last episode, some of them have crossbows out and some of them are wielding falchions. Well, this dude's got a crossbow out

and he shoots it at Atticus, first action. Actually, first action, he's going to... I'm invisible. Then he's not going to shoot at you. As simple as that. Simple enough. Simple enough. Simple as that.

You're invisible and flying. Okay, then who else is up there? Eris, I'm sorry. Just based on placement alone, you've put yourself in the line of fire. Of course, Suki and Aldo are inside of that cabin, but I'll let you guys figure that out. I'm going to fire at Eris.

Here we go. The record I don't remember putting myself there. I don't remember any of you guys being here, to be honest. To be fair, Troy, I believe, at least Suki is, I don't know about Aldo, I think I'm on top of it. It was like raised, remember? Yes. I think she's standing on top.

Okay, so this actually is accurate then. Yeah, and if they want to fire at me, and that makes more sense, I am outside the room. I just want to make that clear so no one thinks I'm cheating. Okay. Well, I have lots of guys to fire. First one is going to fire at Eris, but the first action it's going to do is hunt prey. Because if it hits you, it'll do extra damage

and then it's going to fire! Oh boy! Oh baby! That's going to be a 30 to hit. Yeah, that hits because I'm baby. That's going to be a 30 to hit. Yeah, that hits. Because I'm frightened. Let's not forget, we're on the water and I'm frightened. Oh, that's right.

What's your AC? That's not a crit, is it? 24. Okay, you're fine. Let me just find my nearest D10. This is going to be a little bit of damage. Oh, minimum damage. It's going to be a little bit of damage oh minimum damage it's going to be six piercing but then because of hunt prey you're going to take an extra

max eight damage so fourteen damage total on that attack and then what this dude is going to do he's going to slide ten feet or excuse me five feet over and as he moves he uses an action called running reload

which lets him move and reload the crossbow for free or excuse me, five feet over, and as he moves, he uses an action called Running Reload, which lets him move and reload the crossbow for free. And that is his action. Good start to the year. Professor Eric, any questions? Wait. I've got a question. I'm confused doing my own thing here.

So your first action was Hunt Prey. Your second action was Fire. And your third action was move and reload. Because it was loaded when he got there. It's a running reload, yeah. It was a running reload. They were loading as they were sliding in while you were fighting the false Skywind. Great.

It is now Ethel's turn. So he's a ranger. Is he? He is. Based on that ability, he's a ranger. Is he? He is. Based on that ability, he's a ranger. Is he? Okay. Ethel is going to...

Well, you guys hired me for a reason. Ethel is going to swing out past Darius. He's like, excuse me, excuse me. And then he's going to leap onto the other ship. Wow. Obviously, imagine those sails are up so you can stand in those. Underneath them, yeah. That's two actions, right?

Move and then leap? Yeah, if you had to move to get up and then leap is the second action, yes. Okay, great. And then I will, so there's a guy to my right. Sure is. And there's a guy to the left here. Ten feet away. Are any of them wielding crossbows?

The one that you're standing next to has a falchion, as does the one to his north, the one that is ten feet away from you has a crossbow. Okay, great. I will attack this gentleman to my right who's wielding a crossbow. Falchion is the one. Falchion, excuse me. Falchion. And I will use my war will... Falchion is the one. Falchion, excuse me. Falchion. And I will use my warhammer.

Falchion. Didn't Lork have a falchion for a while? He sure did. He wielded... Wilt? Wielded? Wilt? Wilt.

Wilt. Wilt. He wielded a falchion for a while. Okay, Beowulf. What is a falchion? He wielded a falchion. Joe's been brushing up on his old English. What's a falchion, Joe? It's up on his old English. What's a falchion, Joe?

It's a large curved sword. Like a big kukri? It's... Yeah. It's what all the orcs have in Lord of the Rings. Okay. Big broad-bladed swords. Heavy broad-bladed swords.

That's a natural six for a 25. That's a hit. Huh? That's a hit. You've got a high to hit. In first edition, I believe the Falchione, as we called it, was a crit 18 to 20, right?

Crit ranges don't exist in this, right? They don't. Now, I wonder if they did give these weapons extra properties to kind of make up for that, because this one does have a couple of sweet properties. Oh, that's what I was going to ask you. What are they? One is forceful. Oh, that's a good one going to ask you. What are they? One is forceful. Oh, that's a good one. I like that.

And one is sweep. So forceful is when you attack with it more than once on your turn, the second attack gains a circumstance bonus equal to the number of damage dice. So for this one, it only has one damage die, but it basically then makes it a finesse weapon.

And then sweep gives it another plus one, right? Sweep is a plus one if you attack two different targets. Like, if you attack a second target on your second action, you get a bonus to hit because it's sweeping with that. So you're almost getting no negative for doing the two attack. You're still getting the full negative. Minus four.

Getting minus four instead of minus five. Minus four instead of minus five. And then if I do a forceful sweep, it's only technically a of minus five. Minus four instead of minus five. Oh, okay, okay, yeah. And then if I do a forceful sweep, it's technically a net minus three. Yeah, okay. But that's a net minus three with a large weapon that does a decent amount of damage as opposed to usually when you're agile or finesse,

you're getting one D6 maybe. It's a D10 damage for a falchion. Yeah, I mean, it's wild. 12 points of damage on the falchion wielder. 12 points on old Johnny Falch. Okay, and that was your third action. That's my third action. It is Aldo's turn.

Aldo is going to, he's standing on the roof of the central cabin structure on the ship in which we found ourselves. So he's going to step up between Suki and Atticus, Atticus above him, and he's going to uncork a vial of alchemist's fire and toss it at one of the creatures in the middle of the boat so as to get the falchion wielder that Ethel just attacked

and another one in the splash radius. Nice. All right. That is a 22 to hit. That is a hit. Okay. Oh, wow. Max damage.

That's 20 points of damage. Holy shit. To that guy. damage holy shit to that guy and four points of fire damage to each of the other guys flanking him subject to a reflex save uh so if they pass they take no or they take half is that right uh yes i think they take half if they on a a splash. All right, so reflex save. All right, the first guy rolls a natural one. So that's a critical fail. I don't know if they take double splash. Awesome.

I'll let you look that up. And then probably a critical success with a 31. Maybe not. Okay. Yeah, I think that is a critical success. So, yes, that is... I'm sorry, my brain is locked up. You know what? While you look it up, what I'm going to do is I'm sorry my brain is locked up you know what while you look at it what I'm going to do is I'm going to give

no damage to one that could succeed and I'll give double damage to the other one and then while you look while we figure it out together we can always fix it it's certainly not going to break the game sounds good cool you know the one good thing about having a ton of enemies is for your character that's true

Aldo's time to shine okay great and then was drawing the For your character. That's true. Lots of them at once. Aldo's time to shine. Okay, great. And then was drawing the Alchemist's Fire in action? No, it was not. So I'm going to throw a second. 28. 28 to hit.

28 is a hit. Fantastic. Yes. And that is nine points of damage okay um and uh that is uh four nine nine total points of damage and then four points to each of the flank i can't remember i'm so sorry i think i'm getting this wrong because i don't think we've been doing reflex saves for my splash damage before. But I can't remember. And do you think you're supposed to get it or you're not? Or you're not 100% sure?

I don't know if you get a reflex save. I'm so sorry. I've been playing so much first edition. I'm sorry. My brain is locked up. All right. So I'm looking at the splash trait. I'm assuming it has the splash trait.

When you use a thrown weapon, you don't add your... If an attack with a splash weapon fails, succeeds, or critically succeeds, all creatures take the splash damage. On a critical failure, the bomb misses and adds together. It doesn't say anything about a reflex save. Yeah, okay, because we haven't been playing any save, so just get the damage, so yes. Great, okay.

So eight total points of splash damage to each of the guys flanking the guy that I was hitting. Great. That is easy enough to do. And we corrected our own mistake. Okay, wonderful. Eris's turn. There are a lot

of these guys. There's eight of them. Only one of them is gone, but you guys, three of you, had a higher initiative than most of them. I know. I saw eight of these, and I was like, well, since there's so many, they must not be that powerful. And then it hit me with like a 30, and my AC is lowered, but still. That's surprising.

So I have a bunch of used. I use all my level one spell slots, I think, in Philadelphia. So I do have Mage Armor on. So I need to remember that. That doesn't affect your hit from before. But I am going to spend two actions to cast Mirror Image on myself. Smart. Smart as hell.

That means I roll. Do you roll or do you automatically get the images? I think with the second edition you just get a certain amount of images. You know what? That's a great question. I believe you just get a certain amount of images. Let me see. I think it's one, two, three.

It's just three, I guess. Yeah. You get three images. That sounds great. She casts Mirror Image on herself. Ima gets three images. And then I'm going to mark that as cast. And then I'm going to use my focus spells, Needle of Vengeance. So as she casts, and you see, like, four for now total.

She also just kind of creepily says her name to herself, like, Eris, like, maybe kind of holding her side because she was just... It's so weird, like, casting on yourself, you have to say your name out loud. So yeah, I'm going to cast that for one action. Eris! Eris! Eris!

Like Ricky Henderson. And those will be her three actions for her turn. Okay. Now I'm going to play. Uh, let's see. This one, uh, at the, uh, the most aft, I don't know, fucking boat terms,

is going to slide, uh, actually where I am, I've got pretty good range. I'm still gonna take an action to slide up, um, and fire at Suki. Whether you like it or not... Oh, wait. I wanted to hunt prey and then take the action.

Crack die. So this will be my last action. That's going to be a 29 to hit, Suki. That hits. Yowza. All right. That's going to be 12 points of regular, 12 points of slashing, I think I said piercing before,

and three points for the hunt prey. So three extra. Three extra, yeah. Okay, and that's his action. That was kind of dumb the way I did that, but that's okay. Not all enemies are really smart. All right, before Suki goes though It's going to be number three's turn

Who is standing up here Number three is going to flank Ethel and attack with a falchion That makes me flat-footed That's right Yeah Oh, I see what I did That was piercing damage

Okay, oh man 29 to hit That hits Oh, I see what I did. That was piercing damage and slashing. Okay. Oh, man. 29 to hit. That hits. Okay. Damn it! And that's going to be 15 points of slashing damage. Okie dokie. And then I'll attack once more because I forgot to hunt prey.

And that one is going to be a 22 to hit. That misses. Okay. And now one is going to be a 22 to hit. That misses. Okay. And now, it is Suki's turn. Okay. Suki can't get up into the fray. She's not a good melee fighter, but she's going to use her move action instead of jumping across to pull out her composite shortbow.

And she wants to take a shot at the one that just moved up to Ethel also has a falchion? Yes. I'm denoting the falchion wielders. Oh, thank you. Who took the shot at Eris? Who had the composite?

Way over here. And the one that shot you is way to the stern. So the most... The one way up front and the one in the back both have crossbows. She will take the shot... She should shoot the one with the back both have crossbows. She will take the shot. She should shoot the one with the crossbow. Sorry, Ethel. All right, she's going to shoot.

She's going to shoot the one furthest to the left who just shot at her. Okay. And let's see. Okay, that's a 26 to hit. That's a hit. Nice. A nice. Love it.

Where are my D6s? Where are my D6s at? Where are my D6s? What the? I don't know. Sydney. Oh, no. This one's on you.

We can't really help you with that one. Six plus one piercing damage. All right, so I'll call it seven. And the 26 wasn't a critical, right? No. Okay. I don't know. It has a component.

Something cool happens on critical, but it's not a critical. All right. Is that your turn, or do you have more? No, I can only attack once. That's my turn. Okay. Alright. You don't have to raise your voice. It is Bounty Hunter 4's

turn. Also a crossbow wielder. It's going to shoot at Suki. First, hunt prey, then shoot at Suki. Okay. That's going to be a 21 to hit. No way. Okay, that's going to be a 21 to hit. No way. Okay, rude.

Blocks it with her bow. Oh, cool. That's cool. Legolas style. Yes, that is pretty cool. I will admit that's cool. And then it's going to step back with a running reload to reload the crossbow. I've got to remember this guy did not reload. Okay, can you kill some of these guys?

There's so many. I'm sure we would love to. Alright, this guy slides over to basically... Actually, no, I don't want to provoke. It's going to slide up to Ethel and move, hunt prey, and then

falch. I'm not going to mess that up again. Oh! Oh, that not going to mess that up again. Oh! Oh, that's going to be a 26 to hit. That is a miss. Now, I wonder, are you still flat-footed? Not to him, though, right? I think you are in second edition.

You're just flat-footed, I believe. You're just flat-footed, period? Then yes, it does hit. Yeah, I just read that recently. Oh, my god. Max damage on the falchion for 16 and then an extra 2 for the hunt prey.

18 altogether. Oh. Ethel is alone. Where is the captain, by the way? They disappeared back into the sails. You're standing there, you look up to the sails, and there's just blood dripping down,

but you do not see these figures as they whip in the wind. I still have one more of these Johnskis, and it's a crossbow guy who's going to shoot at Aldo. First hunt prey, and then a shoot. Natural one.

Yes! There it is. That will miss. Awesome. There it is. Yes. That will miss. Awesome. Is that a fanfumboonski? It is, right? Isn't that a fanfumboon? It's been so long.

What do we do here? We don't confirm fumbles, right? We don't confirm fumbles? No. Any more? No, we don't confirm fumbles. But while you look that up, let's take a short break. What do you got, O'Brien? I got a

press from Captain Hodge. Captain Hodge! Is he the captain whose tricone hat you're after? Perhaps. Captain Hodge from Cardiff, Wales. A Welshman. Hey, Captain Hodge from Cardiff, Wales. Oh!

A Welshman. Hey, Captain Hodge. If I could freeze time in a bottle, a particularly nasty earworm pops into your head at the most inopportune moment, causing you to lose focus on the task at hand. You become slowed one for 1d4 rounds as you try to get the song out of your head. Hell yeah.

If I could freeze time in a yeah. I hate that song so much. The first thing that I would like to do. All right, slowed one for 1d4 rounds. Man, you roll four rounds. That's huge! Because once Ethel's dead, it's not so easy to hunt another prey. All right, let's see how many rounds

this is going to be. Scooby-dooby-doo. Oh, can't get my D4 out, so I can't roll it. That's going to be three rounds. Yeah! Nice! Thank you, Captain Hodge. Way to go, Captain Hodge. Okay. On Wrexham.

Three rounds slowed. Gross. Okay, so that's going to be... You know, that makes it really hard because now I'm going to have to burn an action to either reload or hunt, right? Yeah. He'll probably drop his crossbow and start falchioning around like a fool. But meanwhile, it's Atticus's

turn. Atticus, what do you got? Oh boy, Atticus has got nothing! Yeah. It's just really hard. It's almost like not having a wizard. It's so cold. I mean, you say that, but it just is tough when you...

Okay. All right, let's just spice this up. Atticus will fly down a few feet to basically get level with the ships, but still staying on our side. Okay. Coward. I'm just going to do it.

He's just going to try to help Ethel. He's going to come down, seeing the two rangers that are right next to Ethel. He's going to fly down right over the top of his deck and then fire a lightning bolt across at the two of them. So bang, bang. Hit those two guys with a lightning bolt. Wow.

Okay, cool. So I need reflex saves from those two. Okay. The first one rolled a 25, and the second one rolled a 20. Okay. That is a failure on both. Wow. Which is wonderful.

Okay, so... Zap! Zap! Full damage. Not amazing damage. Very, very middle-end damage. That is 24 points of damage. Is that heightened, or is that just straight up... That's just straight up lightning bolts.

Okay. Lightning bolt, 24 points of damage. Well, that first guy is in real rough shape. And the guy behind him isn't feeling too good either. Here's a question for you. Just go back to the slowed guy. So he had used two actions and he got hit with that slowed. Does the slowed first round take effect now so he doesn't get to use that third action?

Or does it start... Arc fan fumble is a made-up rule. So you basically do whatever you want. All right, so in this case, I mean, obviously, had he already used three actions, I would have just said the next three rounds. But instead of using that third action, I'm going to have it start this round,

and there's two more rounds here. That makes sense. That's right. This is a made-up rule. All right. Big old lightning bolt. Is that your turn? Yes, that is my turn. Because you moved.

That's my turn. All right. It is number five and number six's turn. Number five is the one that Ethel first attacked. It's going to hunt Ethel and attack twice. First attack with the falchion is a natural 20. Oh, that's not good at all.

We have to get over there. We have to go help Ethel. That is very, very bad. I'm assuming the hunted prey damage doesn't double. I'm not going to double it like in the old school precision way. I'm pretty sure it does. You think it does does I think it does

I'm on the rule side well in the meantime I will roll you just double it why am I rolling two dice the regular damage is not awesome 26 regular and you think I doubled the hunted prey?

If so, that's going to be another six points of hunted prey damage. All right. Two skids to one Troy. Outruled me, Matthew. I'm sorry. A skid and a joke. Sorry. We're not pulling a crit because this is unnamed, right?

Is that what's happening? That is unnamed, yes. Although I named him, and I'm keeping it to myself. I like to have little backstories for all the guys. It really helps me get into the character of these murderers. That was only its first attack. It hunted prey with

the first one. Now, you don't take the hunt prey damage should I hit again. It's only on the first attack, but the damage is already done. And a natural one. To even things out on the other end. A 20 followed by a one. Just to keep Joe on his toes over there because though he is unnamed, he will take

a fan fumboni. Yes. Alright, trying to confirm this critical on precision. It doesn't say under the ability for the ranger so I'm going to go to the next stage. Right now we have a melee fumble. Is that what we have? Uh-huh Now, Matthew,

should we find out that that's not true, you get three hit points back, but for now. Alright, this one from Ben in Chilliwack, British Columbia. Kanata. Chilliwack. And in a sense of impending doom,

you feel a sudden sense of impending doom. Worse yet, everyone else can sense it in you, too. If this fumble is drawn by a PC, you are doomed one until your next rest. Oh, no. And PCs may notice the bad luck you give. If this fumble is pulled by the GM, all attacks against the target gain a plus one circumstance bonus to hit. Wow. So just mark that guy, and all of our attacks against him get a plus one circumstance bonus. hit. Wow. So just mark that guy and all of our attacks

against him get a plus one circumstance bonus. Green, that little green dot means go give yourself a plus one to hit him. Go ahead and give yourself a plus one. Go ahead and give yourself a plus one. So that's his

turn. They're having a good time. We're having so much fun. And now it is the student in the's his turn. They're having a good time. We're having so much fun. And now it is this dude in the back's turn. He is going to, just based on positioning, I have to burn an action to move up and then he is going

to fire at Eris. Eris, of course, has some images there. Well, move up, hunt, pray, fire. Alright, that's going to be a 29 to hit. That will hit, but I have to roll a d4 to see if it's me or an image. Ah, yes.

Okay. I'll let you roll. It's a 3. I'm pretty sure that doesn't hit. I think it's a 4. I believe it's only on a 1 to 2, and then it changes. So one image is going to go away. Okay. But yeah, it says it right in the text of the spell.

They spelled it out a lot more this time around. So one image is gone. One on one D4 hits me, yeah. Yeah. And then one to two when there's three images, blah, blah, blah. Okay, very cool. All right. So you're down to two images.

And that was its turn. It's going to reload. Wait, move. No, actually, it can't reload. Two of these guys can't reload. And that, I believe, is the end of round one. Give me a cell phone.

We did a round. First round of the new year. Stretch those fat-finding muscles. I only took 60 points of damage it's like when you go to work out for the first time in a while and you do like a workout and it's like really hard and then you like can't move for like a week

that's how I feel right now our brains gonna be sore tomorrow Miami's alright now I had said oh I see what I did there that's that dude had a well I fucked that up Ooh, my hammies. All right, now, I had said... Oh, I see what I did there. That dude had a...

Well, I fucked that up. Let's get that blue dot off there. He had a crossbow. All right, this guy in the back, he is going to drop his crossbow for free. He's going to leap to the other side. That's first action. Second action.

Ah, god. He's going to draw the falchion. And then he's just going to stand there. That's what he's going to do this round. And then he's there. He's on your ship! And it's Ethel's turn. Okay. Ethel

has been pretty badly fucked up. But he's got a weak enemy and an opportunity, so he's going to swing with the Warhammer against the guy I get a plus one to. Who's also been hit by the lightning bolt. Full blast.

Come on! That is a 30 to hit. That is very close to hit. That is very close to a critical. But it is just a regular hit. You might want to say it's one point away from critical. It feels like you just

missed the heart. 20 points of damage to that guy. And that young gentleman is dead. Oh no! That young gentleman is dead. Oh, no. That young gentleman is dead. Are you still flanked? No, I'm not flanked.

You are not. And Ethel then is going to... Let's do something fun. Ethel's going to slide back further onto the ship behind the guy, William the Falchion, that was flanking him. And he's going to use the shove action to try to throw this guy

into the drink. Yes! The old shove action! I love it. So this is an athletics check against your fortitude DC. Yeah, and it has different things

depending on critical success and critical failure. And for the record, you need to have a free hand to do this. I believe from the last episode, and if not, we can just establish that I did it while I was healing myself. I do not have the hatchet drawn.

I sheathed the hatchet. Fair enough. I use my left hand to try to shove him in the chest and knock him off. All right, Athletics is going to be against DC19. Great. Oh, boy. I think that's going to be a critical. I rolled a natural 19. I have a plus 18 on Athletics. Oh, boy. I think that's going to be a critical. I rolled a natural 19.

I have a plus 18 on athletics. Oh, yeah. That's very, very much a critical. Matthew, I'll give you the honors of reading what happens. You push your target up to 10 feet away from you. You can stride after it, but you must move the same distance and in the same direction. So I will push him five feet into the water. Yes!

You push him on to Earth's square? Right. And then, actually, I will... I will move up with it. So I will basically, like, I ram him into him with my hand and just shove him into the water. Now, here's something you may not know. This guy's backstory that I wrote last night is that he can't swim.

Oh, wow. That is a really lucky thing. Hold on. Troy, I mean, this is up to you. Joe's got his brand-new core rulebook pocket core rulebook. I got my pocket, John, so I'm going nuts over here. You too, bro. So, first of all, man, have I been digging on doubling critical precision damage and there is

nothing that says you don't double precision damage nothing yeah that's something from starfinder that it was the same way yeah it basically just flat out says uh you know under the damage type it just says this damage and you double all forms of damage, except damage that comes specifically from a critical effect, like a critical specialization effect on a weapon. Like if it gets an extra 1d10 on a crit, you don't double the 1d10. You just get the extra. So I think you double it. Yeah, just reading doubling and halving damage. Yeah.

Doubling is halving damage. Yeah, doubling is like, yeah. You know, it's funny because we talked about either doubling it or doubling the die versus doubling the result. And it says it's better for you to double the die as you get higher in level. Here's something, if you look at page 451, doubling and halving damage, benefits you gain specifically from a critical hit, doubling and halving damage. Benefits you gain specifically from a critical hit like the flaming weapon's runes persistent fire damage or the extra damage die from the fatal weapon trade aren't doubled.

That's what I just said. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. And I said it like that too. I was like, this is an interesting fact. And you nodded and then ran it right back to me. On page 451 of the core rulebook, it says benefits you gain specifically from a critical. We're having a good time.

Before you send this poor man off to his death, Professor Eric brought something up in Philly that we did not talk about on Cannon Fodder. And that was my fault. I just missed it. But you do have the option, when you are pushed off of an edge like this, to grab a ledge as a reaction. Would you like this guy to do that, or would you just like to let him go? So it's a free reaction? Let's get out of this.

Even if you don't have a reaction? If you don't have a reaction, you can't do it. But no, it is a reaction. I guess everybody has a reaction, right? Yeah. You have a reaction. Yeah, if he didn't specifically spend his reaction. But what's the DC? To grab a ledge. Oh, I was just looking

at this. I love that there is one. You must succeed at a reflex save usually at a climb DC. So it would basically be, what's the DC to climb the edge of the boat? Let's see what I roll. I rolled a natural three, so he falls in. Okay!

It's wet! It's a deck! Great, I think what I'll do is, rather than put an X on him, I'm just going to draw water on him. I love imagining, too, Matthew, that Ethel moves within the red sails, you know, like these flapping red sails and kind of disappears for a second and then just from the sails just pushes this guy off the side of the

boat. You know, Matthew, good use of the shove tray. Why don't you give yourself a bottle cap? There you go. Stretch that system out. Earn a nice little cap. That's how we do. So now you have two caps because we start every session with a cap. Is that your turn?

That's my turn. Aldo Casimir. Aldo is going to continue to huck bombs across the gap there. He's going to throw another bomb at the one directly in front of him that's trying to catch the second fellow in the blast radius. First attack, that is a

exactly a 21 to hit. That is a hit. Alright, and that is nine points of damage to the target, the guy on the left, and four points to the guy next to him. Stupid question. Does the guy who's hit also take the splash damage?

Yes. My... Yes. That is included in my... Oh, that's included in the nine. I see. So before I spend an action, do these guys look... Are they just human?

Humanoid? Yeah, are they just human, humanoid? Yeah, they do look human. They look similar to, you know, just any old pirate, basically. Okay. Yeah, their clothing is not of a style that you've seen, but they all appear to be human. Okay. Dirty looking. Dirty humans.

Dirty. I'm a little... Scallywaggish. Scallywaggish, if be human. Okay. Dirty looking. Dirty humans. Dirty. I'm a little... Scallywaggish. Scallywaggish, if you will. Okay. I'm a little... Aldo is probably a little put off by the droplets of blood spraying everywhere, I assume, off of these blood-soaked sails. He's going to throw a second bomb at the same guy.

Oh, that's a miss! Yeah, that's just a miss. Okay, but they both take splash, right? Oh, shit. Splash trade. Yep. No, it's... No, I don't think they do. If an attack with a splash weapon fails, succeeds,

or critically succeeds, all creatures within five feet of the target, including the target, take the splash damage. Okay, there we go. So there you go. So they both take four. Four points each. And, yeah, I'll just go ahead and throw a third. That is a nine.

That's another miss. So that's another four points of damage to both of them. Yeah, I mean, for you, we've lamented in the past about using that third action to attack, but for you, it's actually pretty beneficial because you're still doing a minimum four. And will that go up as you level up that splash? Yeah, well, I did.

I spent an ability, I think it's a feat, to increase the splash damage my last level up. And yeah, there are ways of making that go higher. Oh, that's very cool. Okay. Wonderful. Then that is Aldo's turn, and now it goes to Eris. I have been racking my brain here,

staring at my character sheet, trying to figure out how to give Ethel a million eyes because you jumped over and I was like oh no I can't touch you now but at level two I do a class feat living hair and it's an instant thing so in uh before I do that Troy yes what would your definition of several be? More five to seven. So I can't cast my hair to the next boat? Oh, well, no, remember, even though there's ten feet, it's just, it's a mistake on my part.

The boat is actually five feet close. Oh, okay. So you can extend your hair. Plus, that's really fucking cool. Yeah. What does it say? You can extend it several feet? Instantly, yeah.

It says several feet. Come on, Paizo. Make it clear. Come on. I'm sitting here googling what several means. Yeah, I mean, no way am I not going to let you do this just for rule of cool. So you extend your hair to be able to cast a touch spell? My hair extends.

It could be my hair, eyebrows, if I had a beard or a mustache, whatever. Several feet and I can manipulate it for weapons or whatever, but I'm going to use it to do my touch spell, Countless Eyes, onto Ethel so that for one minute, it cannot be flanked again. Oh my gosh.

That's very cool. Does he actually get eyes all over him? Yeah, like my hair just like wafts in the wind and comes over to you and just like wraps around your arms or something and then just like pulls away. Oh, you did the thing again. You're welcome. That's cool, Kate.

Give yourself a bottle cap. That is also very nice. And I like that you had to try and figure out how can I do this without going over there How can I break this Very cool is that your that takes three actions Um I still have one action left Um

And Can I do like some sort of Knowledge on maybe The big baddies that are Like around but I can't see Yeah you caught a quick glimpse of them so pick which one you want to look at. I said that one had like an alien type visage. His jaw

like distended. He had huge teeth in there and the other one was this dark spectral looking form that was feminine in shape. Maybe the dark spectral one. Okay. What do you have? Do you have religion? I do have religion.

All right, religion would seem good as you could see through this woman. Let's see. Come on. Natural 10 for 21. 21. All right, it appeared... This is what I'll tell you.

It appeared to be a wraith. Oh. Oh, wow. A wraith that Oh. Oh, wow. A wraith that had clinging to it almost like the uniform of someone on a ship. But this is a wraith. And with a 21, I'll give you one piece of helpful information. Is there any particular information you're looking for?

I guess, like, what? helpful information. Is there any particular information you're looking for? Um, I guess, like, what, a weakness? A weakness. Uh, okay. They are, I don't know if this will help, but this is what you asked for, is, uh, they're powerless to sunlight. Okay. If they're caught

in sunlight, they become very, very weak. It almost looks like they can't attack. So if you have some sort of spell that uses sunlight, that would be very helpful. It's only sunlight, not light from another source? Yeah.

But unless you have a light that can mimic sunlight, eh, we'll talk about it. Maybe you'll never see her again. Okay. That's my turn. Yeah, we'll talk about it. Maybe you'll never see her again. Okay. That's my turn. Yeah, a little sunlight powerlessness. They become stunned, too, and clumsy, too. Ooh.

Fun use of the third actione. So that was the captain? No, that was the spectral woman. Oh, okay. Spectral lady. She's a lady! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Spectral lady!

Spectral lady! Alright, it is the dude up front. He's gonna slide up to Eris, hunt prey, and take one wet swing. Why is it wet? 17 to hit

is a miss. Wait, I attacked Ethel, not Eris. Why'd I say Eris? You guys need to change your names so they don't both start with E. Mine has a little accent mark on it. Ah, exante goo?

Exante gra? Exante goo? Exalted grub. Exalted goo? Exalted goo? It is now Suki's turn. Okay. Coming next to the dance floor, Suki. Suki.

She's a lady. Oh. Celebrate good times. That's your stripper song. That's my, oh, it's supposed to be my stripper song? No, that's's your stripper song That's my Oh it's supposed to be My stripper song No it's not my stripper song It's not a hot song

I'll think of a better Stripper song next time Unless she's a lady As in either Maybe You know what it would be These boots are made For walking

That's a good one And I'm wearing boots I kind of like celebrate though Because you don't expect It to be hot Yeah actually I'm wearing boots. I kind of like celebrate, though, because you don't expect it to be hot. Yeah, actually, I think I would appreciate celebrate. I like celebrate because no one knows how to feel. What are you doing? Everyone just gets a little bit of like a jolt of...

So sexy. All right, Suki pulls out an arrow Still with her composite short bow And lets it fly At the person next to Ethel that just slid up to swing at Ethel Bring it Okay I will Damn it

Oh no that's a 17 17 Um Yeah no that's a miss Alright I'm Yeah, no, that's a miss. That's a miss. All right, I'm going to take another shot. Same person. Got any good spells?

You know, I do have a spell. You know what? I'm going to try something that's not a spell. I'm trying to save my spells. We have two main people. These are just the bodyguards. You don't see them. Maybe they'll never come back.

They're going to come back. I'm going to try. I see the first shot misses. I'm not back. They're going to come back. I'm going to try. I see the first shot misses. I'm not that great with my bow and arrow, and I'm going to try something different. Throw it into the water. I'm going to use my deception and try to create a diversion. Faint.

Faint is different. There's also create a diversion. I guess I could do either. A faint or create a diversion. They're both one action. I love feint. It's very underused in our games in 1E. Yeah, it's something that's way more,

you should be able to use way more in 2E with that third often superfluous feeling action. It's something you can do with it. I agree. I agree. So maybe... So what do you want to do? Okay, I would like to, I guess, do a feint. What I'm going to do is you hear Suki go

It is hot, Lord. It is hot, Lord. And from out under her tunic, behind her, her snake Pepsi comes out and curls itself around an arrow of hers. And she's going to fire the arrow with Pepsi attached to the other boat. So I'm making, I'm doing a feint to not have them notice.

I'm doing like a deceptive fire, because I'm not hitting anybody. I just want to get Pepsi onto the ship. So will you let me use those two actions to create like a distraction? They're not noticing that Pepsi's arriving on the battlefield. Yeah, so what it is is you're firing Pepsi over there. I'm going to have you roll the attack to just make sure it gets onto the boat. Is this a specific ability you have? Well, no.

Create a diversion is just a straight-up mental action that you can do. Assuming Pepsi gets over there, then you can use another action to create a diversion. How big is Pepsi? Pepsi's a snake. A regular sized snake. Yeah, normal snake. And you're going to fire it on an arrow. I think it's fun. It curls around the arrow. Also,

Pepsi is a constrictor. No, it is. Pepsi is a constrictor. One of its moves is that when it threatens people and coils around them, they become slowed or stunned when I'm attacking. It's like a cool thing we have together. That sounds like the size of a snake that would fit on an arrow. It's four arrows that I have tied together, and it's called the Pepsi Flyer.

And we do a Pepsi Challenge. It's the Pepsi Challenge. It's the Pepsi challenge. That's the name of the move. I think Joe has poked a hole in your bad idea. We do it all the time. Can't you just throw him? How big is the snake? I thought it was a garter snake that could

fit around a flyer. I can throw him over. It's ten feet. I can chuck him over. I just thought it would be cool to put him... Fine! Here's the snake! Is she just pressing on the splat plants on the table? I'm dying laughing.

Okay. You are raised, so it's a pretty easy toss. Just roll a d20. Let's see if Pepsi makes the jump. Do I get any bonus? Nope. Okay. It's a 14.

No, it's a 14. Okay, good. I just want to see a roll of one because I would have killed that snake so quick. Alright, so Pepsi goes flying in the air over to the other side and they're all just watching Pepsi. That's a flying snake. And then... Ethel's afraid of snakes.

And Ethel just goes. Oh, no. Ethel jumps in the water. Ethel jumps in the water. All right, let me put a snake here. Yeah, and then can Pepsi act then? No, now you're going to create a diversion. That's what you're going to do.

Oh, okay, okay, with my deception. Yep, there's Pepsi. Let's see. And what is the diversion? You're going to have the Oh, okay, okay. With my deception. Yep, there's Pepsi. Let's see. And what is the diversion? You're going to have the snake be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, like your style. You know what? No, I think it is chaotic.

I think it's like now there is a snake on the boat. It's clear that she threw over this big snake, so she's trying to get the people away from Ethel and from our side so we can now try to get on the boat and make some room for us, because everybody's bunched up at the front. So I think the diversion is the snake itself. Okay.

Did you read the text of Created Diversion? No, sorry. I have, like, a shorthand list of stuff. Oh, because it does stuff. Like, what it basically Created Diversion does is if you succeed against a deception against their perception DC, you become hidden to them. Oh, so maybe I'm... So I thought you were throwing

the snake so they would look at the snake and then that was how we would resolve you being hidden. Then let's do that. Yeah, let's go with that as the reasoning. Okay, so roll a deception check against their perception DC and then there's results depending on success or failure. That's a 24. My deception is a plus 12. That's a 24. My deception is a plus 12.

That's a 24. And their perception DC. Might be high because they're rangers. But they're also minions. Is 24. So you hit it. Ah. Exactly.

Oh, nice. They have plus 14 perception. You had 10, 24. So you hit it exactly. So you succeed. And what that means in terms of mechanics, as it were, is that you become hidden to each creature whose perception DC is less than or equal to your result.

So you're hidden to all of them. Oh, amazing. This allows you to sneak away. This lasts until the end of your turn or until you do anything except step or use the hide or sneak action of the stealth skill. If you strike a creature, the creature

remains flat-footed against that attack, and then you become observed. If you do anything else, you become observed. So basically, your next attack to anyone, they're going to be flat-footed, as long as you don't do anything to them. You could also just continue buffing your allies, and they wouldn't see you. But the minute you do sort of an offensive action against them, you're no longer going to be hidden.

But you'll get that free attack. Not free attack, but they'll be flat-footed against the first time you decide to get offensive. Cool. Well, that is the end of my turn, so I guess I'm just waiting now. I'll tell you, it's only the beginning of the year. It's the best 15 minutes I've spent since the year started. Was that turn. And then my snake will join initiative order after me, or?

Yeah, how does it work with animal companions? My favorite thing in all of games. Is it an actual animal companion, or is it a familiar? Is it a companion? It's my companion. Yeah. You have to spend an action for it to do anything. Do you have an action?

You have to command the animal. No. So next round. But it does have its own initiative. It has its own initiative. So then I should roll. You should roll it now. It goes into initiative, but it has no actions until you spend an action to command it.

All right, 25 Anish. Okay, Pepsi has entered the field. Pepsi has entered the field. And Pepsi rolled higher than you, so Pepsi won't go to the next round. I'm sure that's how it works. It is these dudes' turn. It is number four's turn. It is number four's turn.

Where is that? Some gum. Is number four dead? Oh, no. Number four is standing right next to Ethel. That is a crossbow wielder. So it's going to... Oh, God.

It's in a real bad position there. It's going to move away from Ethel, which will actually provoke if you choose to use it. Oh, I choose to use it. Okay. Warhammer. Great game. 24 to hit. That is a hit.

Nice. That's a natural five. Nice. Amazing. That is 16 points of death. So it's like trying to get away. It's like, you hit in the back with a war hammer. Wait,

does it provoke from Pepsi as well? As a matter of fact, it does. I forgot to put that thing there. Does Pepsi have an attack of opportunity? Probably not. Does Pepsi have the reaction? I don't know.

Did Pepsi take the feat? No, Pepsi doesn't have many special abilities or feats at this point in time. Okay, so then no. I'm going to go out on a limb. Pepsi sucks. Coke is special abilities or feats at this point in time. Okay, so then no. I'm going to go out on a limb. Pepsi sucks. Coke is better. Yeah, you should have went with Coke.

I just want to read the transcript where it talks about you firing Pepsi onto the deck of the ship. I wanted to be like, is this a class feat? What are you talking about? And then she wrapped the boa constrictor around a tiny arrow and fired it. It's just so funny.

Like, people can get, it's just, people be like, you're playing a fantasy game. You're just making stuff up. What does it matter? But there's something to me that bothers me so much about just ignoring physics at all entirely. That just, I can't, I can't stand it. I'm sorry. Fair enough. No, no, no.

It's fair. You're right. It was stupid. You know what makes an arrow so effective? It's lightness. And Suki would know that. She would know. She's elven,

so that's why she just lassoed the snake in a big circle and chucked it on. Right, as elves do. All right, this guy takes a big load of damage from Ethel, steps up, hunts prey on Suki, and fires. Alright, gonna be close. Gonna be a 21, Suki.

No, no, no, no, no. Suki is hidden. Oh, I'm hidden. You can't even see me. That's right, so I wouldn't even attack you. So that would be a 21 against Eris. Eris, that's a miss. Yes, what? Hit me. But that will remove an image, right?

Oh, yes, right. Because if I miss but don't critically fail, you lose an image. I'm, like, spending so much of my extra energy looking at what I'm going to do next that, like, you're hitting me. I'm like, wait, what? All right, so I roll a d6. Great, so you're down to one image and one... No, it's just if I miss but don't critically fail, you just lose an image.

I do, okay. Okay, great. It is number seven's turn. We're at number seven. Oh, there they be. Number seven is going to hunt. Is Atticus, you still invisible? No, you're now invisible.

All right, so hunt Atticus and fire. Nat 2, that's going to be a miss. And then I will slide up next to Ethel using the running reload to get that free reload. And then next guy is number Dose. Number Dose is the one that is slowed one. So he is going to free action drop his crossbow.

Oh no, he's a falchion. Isn't he a falchion guy? Yeah, he is a falchion guy. So he's going to move up one and can't hunt prey. We'll just swing at Ethel. That's probably going to be a hit with a natty 18. Will it be a crit, though?

31. It is a hit, not a crit. Okay. A measly nine points of damage. How are you feeling there, Ethel? Pretty bad. I can't even imagine. The worst part is, it's Atticus's turn.

It all is so bad. Horrible news. Horrible news. What news from the front? Okay, this is super risky and I'm very scared. Atticus is going to fly over the gap between the two ships. The water

splashing between the two. You just look down and you see all these bioluminescent fish just lighting up the area between the two boats. That is wild. He's going to come across to the other ship. And the light? Yeah, and he's going to utilize his bonded object, his John Jamsky.

I forget what it's called now. I'm blanking. I've got too much going on. His Elder Mythos. It's the Elder Mythos scholar item. His amulet around his neck. His Doctor Strange amulet? His Doctor Strange, John.

And it twists and opens, and he will drain his bonded item's power. Drain his bonded item's power to recast a spell he's already cast today. Oh, yes. Lightning bolt. Bang, bang, bang, bang. Through four dudes. Oh, what a great. Oh, beautiful. Lightning bolt! Bang, bang, bang, bang! Through four dudes. Oh, what a great... You must feel so happy.

I was waiting for Ethel to get out of that line. He was in that line in round one and I was like, I can't kill Ethel! So yeah, he gave me an opening. So four reflex saves, Troy. Wait, Ethel's not in that line? I am in the line.

Okay. My roll 20 is not updated. Unfortunately, the hand is off the chest. What do you want to do here? You've got a great opportunity. Awesome. Give me 15 minutes to plan another turn as a wizard. This is great.

I'm so psyched. Well, don't you think the greater good here is to do that attack and just let Ethel figure it out? Ethel is spry. He's got great reflexes. He's too close to going down. Whose side are you on, Troy? The bounty hunter. Fair enough.

Yeah, he's on the side of his own. The enemy. No. This is brutal. Okay. And now my roll 20 won't load, This is brutal. Okay.

And now my roll 20 won't load, so I'm utilizing the stream map in order to move. So sick to my stomach. Is that the little line there on that map that you can barely see? So, uh... Do it, Atticus! Just do it!

Just do it. He says. Ethel yells. Hoping to move the game along. You see Atticus's hands crackling and Ethel yells do it! Blood streaming down from his chest. Did anybody did anybody take any damage?

Has any of these guys taken any damage? Yeah, sure. I can tell you that the one that was in the front of that line is on his last legs. The first one flanking Ethel also on his last legs. The one behind him on his last leg. I mean one flanking Ethel also on his last legs. The one behind him on his last legs.

I mean, a light in both there. Yeah. The one way in the back and the one to the north are in great shape. Just do it. No, that's okay. I'm not going to do it. I will... I'm not... Dude, it could put you out. I don't want to put you out.

I have an extra bottle cap. I can roll the reflex save twice. Okay. All right. Ethel! Look out! Cardwheel! And he's going to, once again, come across, open his spotted object, and fire.

So, reflex saves along the line, everybody, please. First one, 27. Second one, natural 20. Third one... Third one is a... 26. And the last one is a 26.

So 27 natural 20. Every single one of them succeeded. Every single one. I got a 20. And I forgot a 28. So that's a success as well. Alright, Every single one of them succeeded. Every single one. I got a 20, and Aphel got a 28. So that's a success as well. All right, so only one of them critically succeeded. Everyone else will take half damage. Critical success will take none. Okay.

Okay. I rolled two ones on 4d12. Oh, my God. This is loud. It makes me so sick to my stomach. All right, so 10 points of damage to everybody. Everybody takes ten points of damage. Okay, well...

Ow! The first one goes down. Oh, nice! The second one doesn't take any damage because you critically succeed. The next one is still up. There's ten points of damage. And then the last one also still up There's ten points of damage. And then the last

one also still up. Another ten points of damage. Okay. Alright. That's it. That's all I got. You've done good. But not good enough. Alright, it is number six's turn. Number six is

the one... Is number six gone? Oh, you just killed him. No, number six is gone. Alright, so that is... It goes right back to round three and it's number eight's turn. Number eight is the one that came onto the boat.

So now number eight is going to... Because Aldo and Suki are up top, number eight is going to hunt Eris that has one remaining image. Slide up and swing with the falchion. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh. And a natural one. No. Oh, no, God. What'd you say? Natural one. Oh. Critical.

That's great. Failure. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's very good. And that means you will keep your image, because that's the only miss where you retain your image. Worst possible thing that could have happened. Joe, what's this? Dumble. I'm going to call them Dumbles.

Dumble! We got a Dumble from Cam in Richmond, Virginia. But I wanted to be an adventurer. Something about your miss is strangely familiar. Suddenly you're reminded of a time when you didn't want to be an adventurer. You wanted to be something else entirely. You become fascinated and stupefied, too, for 1D4 rounds. However, if you can sing at least one verse of the Lumberjack song by Mighty Python,

reduce the duration by half. You are allowed to convince Skid to sing this on your behalf if he can. Well, I'll have Skid correct me because he'll know if it's right or wrong. It's, I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay. I sleep all night and I work all day? Yeah, there you go. Okay. All right.

He reduced that duration. He didn't actually sing it. He just sort of recited it. Interesting. Full effect. So, as ruled by the Monty Python experts, that would be full effect. Was that Flying Circus or was that

That was on Flying Circus and they that? That was on Flying Circus. They did it at the Hollywood Bowl. Kate, big Monty Python fan? Oh, yeah. I'm with it right now. Very much. Cindy, you got a big...

I'm not smiling and looking at my spell sheet. Yeah, it's a TV show. You'd love it. Cindy, you have a big poster of Life of Brian on your wall? I don't think I've seen that. I like Monty Python, but what's the Flying Circus? That was their television show that they started off doing. I've never seen it.

I'm going to look it up. I have never seen that. I think it's still on Netflix. I think all the episodes are on Netflix. Are they really? I'll watch that. I have the entire show on DVD. Can you mail

them to me, Matthew? Yes, one by one I'll mail you. Like early Netflix. When you send one back, he'll send you another one. We'll call it Mattflix. Mathflix. This is very confusing. Joe, I take it

you're not a Monty Python guy, right? No. No, I am not. I find it funny, but I cannot quote it. I haven't seen it enough times. Oh, man. You're no true nerd. It's just a flesh wound.

There you go. That's Monty Python. It's a great one. I love the Holy Grail. It's a great movie. It rubs off. No, it isn't. No, it isn't.

What's that then a lot of the individual sketches are on YouTube from Flying Circus but like if you want to get the full effect you gotta like watch you have to watch the whole yeah because each sketch will like bleed into another they were they didn't like punchlines so it's just like this yeah the full effect

is like getting the whole experience of over the half hour you're stupefied too for how many rounds you gotta roll a d4 Yeah, the full effect is getting the whole experience over the half hour. I can't wait to watch it after this. You're stupefied, too, for how many rounds? You've got to roll a d4. Are you going to have them? What are you going to do? Don't worry about it.

What does stupefied do? It affects your mental faculties mainly and your skill checks related to wisdom, charisma, and intelligence. It also prevents you from—I mean, it forces you to make a flat check to cast spells. All right, it's one round. It's going to be relevant flat check to cast spells. All right, it's one round. I rolled a one. All right, so are you having it? No, I'll leave it as one. Okay.

So it is one round. You are stupefied two. Basically, it affects your wisdom, charisma, intelligence, and any skills or abilities that branch off of those. Okay. He's real dumb. Oh, wait, I put it on the wrong guy. Anyways, it is now Ethel's turn. Okay. He's real dumb. Oh wait, I put it on the wrong guy. Anyways, it is now Ethel's turn.

Okay. I am going to take a swing with the warhammer against this fellow to my left. To the east of me. To the east. The east, yes. That will be a 24

to hit. Yep. Okay. that will be a 24 to hit yep okay 21 points of damage look at that row of eggs row of dead bodies and it's nice they're already close to the edge we can just push the bodies off yeah that'll be not much work and then I want to do

something fun because you only get to go so many times. It's true. I just want to make sure. Yep. Okay, great. And then the guy to my right, to the weest of me, I'm going to grapple him. Use my athletic skill to grapple him.

Oh. Is that against my fortitude DC? Fortitude DC. That's what I just checked. Okay. DC 19. That is a 30. Oh, I didn't check to see what critical success. Oh, that is a critical success.

If it has anything. Might be you can take an item from this person. Can I? Your target is restrained until the end of your next turn unless you move or they escape. Restrained is a higher penalty than grabbed, I guess.

Okay, great. Well, I'm going to use... Regardless, I'm going to use my new... I Lemon Lawed a feet away, and I haven't gotten to use my Dazing Blow yet, so I'm going to use that. Requirements are you have a creature grabbed, and... He's restrained, though.

This does have the press trait, but this is my second attack. Okay. So I'm going to make a melee strike against him. The weapon damage from this strike is bludgeoning damage. It's the hammer. If the strike hits, the creature must attempt a forward shoot save against your class. You see, this is an incapacitation effect. Basically, I'm going to try to stun him.

Nice. Oh, okay. So he's already restrained, and then you just boom, like hit him with the temple. Yep. Okay. So and then here's... I've got him in a headlock, and I'm just going to basically pummel his head with a hammer. Ethel is a bruiser. Crack die. What a badass.

You came onto this boat, took a million hits, and, like, killed three guys and knocked one out. Pushed another one in the water. Okay, so I think this might be a critical. This would be a 33 to hit. Yes, that is a critical. That is a critical. So we'll do the damage in a minute,

but the dazing blow with the critical, you are stunned, or you have to get a save. You have a forward shoot save. Forward shoot save. Eleven. That fails. So you are stunned three. Wow. Oh my god.

He loses his whole round. Stunned three. So stunned for three rounds, is that the move? No, it just loses all three actions. How many rounds is it? I get a critical hit. Oh my god. Well, no. I think you just double the damage. Unless you roll

a natural 20. There's no damage, right? Just double damage. It's a glancing blow. So he takes damage, and then you roll against this incapacitation. Yeah, yeah, but it's not a natural 20, so you don't pull a fan. Great, great. Okay, so that will be 26 points of damage. Okay, so

he is in, he's completely I didn't grab him and then beat his head in with a hammer. And he's still restrained as well. Yeah, he's still restrained. So he's restrained, stunned three, and on his last legs. Hell of a round for Ethel,

and now it's Aldo's turn. Only a couple of these guys left. One is on your boat. That's true. Okay. Troy, what is your favorite Monty Python routine? I like the Spanish Inquisition.

That's a good one. I'm going to I'm going to throw a, I'm going to just drop a bomb, a fire bomb right to the guy standing right underneath me. Awesome. Right in his head.

Oh my gosh. That is a 34 to hit. That Oh my gosh. That is a 34 to hit. That is a critical. That is a critical. Amazing. Makes sense. It was right there. Damage. Just drop the tube. That is

28 points of damage. Oh. Okay. Boy. I'll drop a second one. That was so damage. Oh. Okay. Boy. I'll drop a second one. That was so successful. 21. This poor guy is stupefied, by the way. This scene is so funny.

21 is a hit. Where did that come from? Oh, wow. 17 more points of damage. Jeepers. And, yeah, one more time. Oh, my gosh., one more time. Oh my gosh! Uh, 21!

Another hit. Natural 14. Uh, oh my god. Uh, that's, uh, 16 more points of damage. And he had 15 hit points left.

Yes! Oh, man! Boom, boom! That's a confusion. Where it rolled a natural one that, like, Aeris didn't even see him there, but then, like, three bombs clocked, and she's like, oh. And then it drops dead. She that like Eris didn't even see him there but then like three bombs go off and she's like

oh she's like oh okay poor guy didn't even know what was happening as he was burnt alive dropping bombs like Jimmy Stewart Eris it is your turn there is a flaming corpse five feet away

flaming corpse. Brigadier General. Five feet away from you. A flaming corpse, you say? Yeah, right up your alley. Want to steal it for parts? So, is there anything on the other side of the boat that you would say can make bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing damage? Oh, sure. There's a harpoon laying on the ground.

Okay. Who left this on the deck? I wasn't expecting something like that. Secure that harpoon! Eris reaches out her chicken arms, and the harpoon, where's the harpoon? It's right near Pepsi. Pepsi's coiled around it, just waiting for someone to throw it.

It's a fly. Come on. It's a harpoon. Pepsi loves a fly. You see the harpoon just start to sprout chicken legs. Oh, no. And it's got 25 feet of motion, so it walks up to behind this blue targeted John guy.

Yeah, I see him. And would you say that this harpoon makes what type of damage? I'm going to say piercing. Piercing? It's a bludgeon this harpoon makes what type of damage? I'm going to say piercing. Piercing? It's a bludgeoning harpoon. It attacks that... You can't bludgeon with a harpoon. It's a bludgeoning harpoon.

It's a bludgeoning harpoon hammer. It attacks that target. Since I'm using two spell slots to cast... This is the chicken poon? Yeah, the chicken poon. Chicken poon. Or maybe a harpoon. Wait, is this heightened chicken poon?

Heightened chicken poon. Are you heightening this chicken poon? It's one of my focused hand trips that I've never used. And it's a spirit object. If I just use one spell slot to cast it, the thing just has legs and can move. But I'm using two turns to cast it. Actions.

The object attacks one creature of my choice adjacent to its new space. Try to make a melee attack against that creature. Okay. Awesome. What is this called? Spirit object. Focus cantrip. Nice.

Cool. Alright, what do you think the attack bonus for this? Does it take your attack bonus or is it your wisdom bonus? I don't know. A melee attack, a melee spell attack roll. Okay, so it's your spell attack. Okay, so I rolled a 12 and I have a plus 16 right now to my spell. All right, so that's a 28 and that's a hit.

That's a hit. Awesome. So that's 4d4 plus my spell casting ability, which is's a 28 and that's a hit. Awesome, so that's 4d4 plus my spellcasting ability, which is a 4. So that's 3, 4, 1, so

10 plus 4, 14 points of damage from this harpoon. From this chicken poon! Chicken poon! I'm picking... Go ahead. The hardpicking and the chicken poon! Chicken poon! The hard picking. Go ahead. The hard picking and the chicken poon. Okay.

What else you got? What other weird stuff you got in your bag of tricks? I've got one more action I can do. The guy next to me is dead, which is great, so I don't have to deal with him. So can I make, I guess, maybe a knowledge check against the guy with the captain's hat on? Sure, yeah. Trying to recall knowledge

and the quick glimpse you got of this fella. A cult, would that be nice? Yeah, you could do a cult, sure. Yes, my best one. Ooh, natural 18 plus 18, which is a 36 question mark. Yes. I'm doing that today.

You can remember in The Man of Waste, digging into some occult books about denizens of Leng, which is what that captain is. In terms of a specific weakness, if you wanted to go that way again, they aren't really weak to anything in particular. But at 36, I can give you something else. I'm just going to say that they... Oh, what is actually going to be helpful to you?

I mean, they cast spells. They don't breathe. So don't cast anything against them that's going to affect their breath. Okay. That's really all I can give you that's going to help. They're nasty creatures, and maybe in your travels with this crew,

as they've been regaling you with tales of their journey thus far, Atticus and Aldo told you of the denizen of Lang. They fought beneath Iris Hill. Maybe. I dono told you of the denizen of Lang. They fought beneath Iris Hill. Maybe. I don't know. Okay. We should roleplay. I find this out. I try to relate to the people around me as best as I can

in combat. Right. As the chicken poon continues to stab the leg. Wait, does the chicken poon lose the legs and become an inert harpoon once again at the end of the spell? That's what I've been trying to figure out. It's not like a spell that is sustained.

Yeah, I think it probably just goes... That's what I would imagine. And the guy that gets hit by it goes, What the... What was that? It was chicken legs slowly shriveling up. Did you see that? Looking around. I swear Who's chicken legs like slowly shrivel up? Did you see that? I swear it had chicken legs.

Like the Wicked Witch, like the legs underneath the harpoon just slowly disappear back underneath the harpoon. That harpoon's alive! The harpoon just fucking stabbed me. That's what makes sense to me. Otherwise, it would seem really overpowered, but it's not clear. Flashback to that man as a young child sitting with his grandmother. Don't put your harpoons away.

It'll stab your chicken legs and stab ya! Oh, Grandma! Stop drinking Amaretto! It is Bounty Hunter 1's turn, and he is restrained, stupefied, 14. He can't do anything. You guys have this battle in hand

here. Can you finish it out? It is Pepsi's turn. Okay, so Pepsi acts on... Pepsi and chicken. Pepsi acts on my turn. So because of the initiative, can we say that I delayed and now it's my turn and now Pepsi's going? Well, delay is an action.

No, it's not. It's a free action. Oh, it's a free action. Yeah. So that's what I was going to say. Redding an action is an action. I'm sorry. All right, so you want to go before Pepsi. Yeah, so that Pepsi can take its turn.

And now it's Pepsi's turn. I'm just making the initiative make sense. Okay. So now Pepsi is going to fight. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, if you delay, you have to go. You have to have your whole turn then it can be pepsi's turn okay so you have to spend an action to command pepsi

right i'm saying my first action would be to command pepsi yep and then it doesn't go during your turn you have to complete your turn yeah i see what you're saying got you got you all right so then troy yes can iily, I'm still hidden. Is there a way to stealthily jump onto the boat is my question. There's a lot of commotion going on. The nearest combatant is stupefied, and the other one just got stabbed by a chicken poon. I'm going to say yes. I'm going to say you're hidden to them if you want to jump.

Now, here's the thing. The bonus of the chicken poon is it also created a bit of a distraction. Yeah, it's one of the most distracting things that can happen. It's one of the most distracting things this crew has ever seen. Now, wait, you are on top of the thing here. The only problem is you're going to have to, what's your movement speed? 30. Oh, 30?

Actually, yeah, you can make that jump, I'm going to say. 5, 10, 15. Because it's closer than it appears. It's 5 feet closer. So if you've got a speed of 30, you can jump 15, which gives you enough. You're up top, too, right? It's a jump down, so it's a little easier. Why do you keep jumping onto the water, though?

You keep moving me back, and you keep jumping onto the water. I'm trying to help. My question is, can I jump here, or would this combatant... Sorry, can I jump to the left of Ethel between the fray, or does that... I mean, they would notice me, I would presume. I think they would notice you. I also think that's a longer jump. Okay, so then I will jump to the right.

Yeah, that's 25 feet. To the right of Ethel. That's good, yep. To stay hidden away from the combatants. So that's my action, my move action. I jump off the boat, leap, that's my action, my move action. I jump off the boat, leap, hit in, do a tuck and roll. Nobody sees you.

There's a lot going on on the other side of the boat. So yeah, lands like crouching, almost cat-like, like behind Ethel. Obscured by the sail, perhaps. Oh yeah, maybe yes, the flapping sail. And then she is going to cast Guidance on Ethel as another action. So you get a plus one. And then her third action is commanding Pepsi. So now it is Pepsi's turn.

Okay, great. Now what does old Pepsi do? Now Pepsi I think gets two actions, right? Yes, Pepsi gets two actions. So Pepsi is going to bite at the combatant who is slowed.

The slowed combatant. The slowed falchioner. And let's see. Nat 20. Oh my god! Pepsi! Pepsi! 23. Pepsi is unfortunately a named character. So that plus 13. Pepsi. That's right. 23. Pepsi is unfortunately a named character,

so that will be a critical. Yes, Pepsi. Pepsi is unfortunately named. Pepsi power. Pepsi power. Okay, this one from Greg K. in Chicago, Illinois. Not today. Phrasma, the Lady of Graves, has determined that this is not your day to die.

Deal double damage and become affected as though by the Bless spell. You can dismiss the spell on your turn to cast Heal, even if it is not normally available to you. The number of actions to cast Heal are the same as the base spell. Bless, and this is the rule for Bless, you gain a plus one status bonus to attack rolls. Bless same as the base spell. Bless, and this is the rule for Bless, you gain a plus one status bonus to attack rolls. Bless can counteract Bane.

So yeah, double damage, and you're under the effects of Bless, and you can dismiss it to heal. Yes, this is amazing. I just rolled max damage, so my D8 is an eight plus my three. So do I double it or do I roll again? Just 22. Double it.

Okay, so 22 points of damage to the slowed guy. Okay. And then remind me, heal is how many actions? Because I would like to just do it for Ethel. You only have two actions, and it's the one action version he would already have to be in melee with you. Copy. So he'll have to wait a turn.

A one-action heal is range of touch, and then two actions is range, 30 feet, and then three actions is an emanation. Gotcha. Okay. So then... Attack again? Yeah, I will attack again. Why not? Let's see. With the benefits of plus? Plus one bonus.

With a plus one, yeah. This is cool. Animal Companions, it's always a lot of work. I don bonus. With a plus one, yeah. This is cool. Animal Companions, it's always a lot of work. I don't like playing with Animal Companions, but in 2E it's really fun because now you have to use an action, but you're netting four actions. Yeah, it's kind of dope. 28 to hit.

That is a hit as well. And you took the multiple attack penalty? Yes. Oh, wait. Well, it still probably hits if you actually roll a 28. Yeah, it's not a 28. It's a 14 plus 8. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Minimum damage. That's four points of damage. That is enough to kill that poor student. Oh, that extra attack was everything. Yes. Pepsi.

Pepsi is a stone cold killer. Yeah, Tsuki's just whispering, Harasato, shada. Like, just talking to Pepsi. Yeah, Parseltongue. Parseltongue. There is only really one combatant left that can do

anything. And based on where everybody is, it's rough. So, in classic LaValley fashion, it will hunt Pepsi, move up and try to chop its tail off as it draws its falchion. Actually,

I don't think I can do all of those because it has the crossbow out, so I will not hunt. I will just draw the falchion and attack you. He's going to try and chop Pepsi in half like you would if you were in the jungle. Go with the falchion! Cut the snake's head off.

Natural 20. Oh no! Blow for blow. Oh my gosh. How many hip voices does this thing have? And what is this, is the snake going to wake up with a madness? He's like a chain smoker. Yo, that snake is mad, yo.

My poor Pepsi is going to be depressed He's going to be doomed and be like I don't want it today I'm not hungry Natural 20 I don't want to have a snake that has night terrors I don't either Snakes everywhere Oh man

Oh that's awesome Okay let me just see what the bonus demoni is here. Where is he? Okay. Dude, that was with the Falchione, too. That is brute. All right, not terrible. 18 points of damage.

Could have been a lot worse. Not that bad, actually. That's his action. You do get Pepsi good. You get him on the tail. He kind of almost gets away, but you shear off some of his tail. Shear off a little bit of Pepsi. Atticus, finish out the round, buddy.

Atticus is going to reach out and bring that harpoon to life once again. And it just starts shaking and it rises up off the deck and just slunks into the guy that

just attacked. The one remaining valid enemy slunks into the guy that just attacked. The one remaining, like, valid enemy. Yeah, the one remaining valid target. Oh, that is a 31 to hit. That's a critical. Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I wasn't prepared for a critical. I didn't expect.

Wait, is the harpoon named guess he is he's chicken pood Chicken pood Okay Oh my god I rolled Amazing damage of course 30 points of damage And that kills the dude Out through the front of his chest

The one remaining combatant Is restrained And stupefied through the front of his chest. The one remaining combatant is restrained and stupefied, so Eris, please cinematically describe the end of this poor man's life. I mean, cinematically... I keep saying Eris, I meant it.

Oh, me? Kate, would you please step off the stage? Please, please, step off. I was gonna use the chicken poon. I was gonna use the chicken the mic to Matthew? I was going to use the chicken poon. Go ahead. I was going to use the chicken poon. You could team up and use the chicken poon.

I would be honored. Can you let her use the chicken poon to finish out the episode? I would be honored if you used the chicken poon. Remember, the poon is currently stuck in the dude. That's true. It releases itself from the dude, walks over, stomp, stomp with his chicken legs behind the stupefied grappled dude and just like

pecks itself like it has a beak into the back of the guy while you're holding it, Ethel. Ethel is like, Ethel with his thousand eyes is like, this is weird. We're all weird stuff, but this is weird. I love how he'll just be like, just don't move

and it can't see you. Remain still. I never pictured the sharp end of the harpoon being a beak. The beak goes into the, what is that vein in your leg that can kill you if you get it cut? The femoral artery?

The femoral artery just hits it perfectly and he bleeds out and dies. And his blood commingles with the blood coming down from the sails, which continue to flap as two figures emerge. Folks, Happy New Year!

We'll see you next week! Oh my god. We're back, baby! Good night, everybody! Chicken poof! We'll see you next week. See you next week. Oh, my God. We're back, baby. We're back. Good night, everybody. Chicken poof. Chicken poof. You're in disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man.

You're a chicken poof. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glass cannon.