The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 61 – A Mid-forest Night's Dream

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

At the edge of the Verduran Forest, the heroes find themselves surrounded by a mysterious group of dreamers. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/PfyBDPxEbp0 For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Only this spring, only at Starbucks. Ice Lavender Cream Oat Matcha Tea Latte includes dairy. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Good evening and welcome to the show. I have a question tonight with a team at hand. But I'm going to start off by telling you what the question isn't. The question isn't, which one is better? The question is, which do you prefer?

Important distinction. I'm going to say it again because I don't want to say it. I don't think nerds ever conflate those two. No, they never get those two things mixed up. The question is not which is better. The question is which do you prefer? The Beatles or the Rolling Stones? Oh, man.

The Rolling Stones. or the Rolling Stones? Oh, man. The Rolling Stones. This is, you know, I'm glad you asked this because this is a question that has never been asked before ever. I'm sure we'll be able to settle it tonight. You know what? It's never come up.

It's never come up. I think there's a roughly 15% to 20% chance it came up on the Glass Cannon podcast. Uh-huh. That's a good answer. That's a good answer. But you know what? Roughly 15% to 20% chance it came up on the Glass Cannon podcast. Uh-huh. I forget that. I forget that, too. But you know what? It's been years.

It's been years. Yeah, it's fair game as far as I'm concerned. To all the people who joined us between then and now, it's a new question. Right. It's a rerun. For anybody who's starting with episode 61 of Strange Ants, they haven't heard our opinions on the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. You know, I've been – I spend a lot of time just staring at my phone when I don't want to do stuff. And on Instagram, I'm seeing all these old videos of the Beatles in like rehearsal.

And I didn't watch that documentary yet that was on Disney a year ago. I know I have to watch that. I'm sure it's great. I'm sure these clips are from that. But anyways, it's kind of cool to watch the first time Paul's like, I just wrote this song. And he just fucking plays Let It Be.

So it's interesting. But then I think about, I've always preferred the Rolling Stones, but I have such a deep appreciation for the Beatles. And as I get older, I'm liking the Beatles more and more. I've always loved the Beatles, but if I had to compare the two, I've always been a bigger Stones fan.

So you're saying the Stones are better? I'm saying the Stones are better. Again. You said if I have to compare the two. You've got to follow your own rules. Again. Skid, where do you stand on this issue? I feel like, put it to bed for us.

Well. Come on to bed. His references? Sir. Speak. Sir. Kate said the Rolling Stones. I could tell this once and for all if you'll let me.

If Skid goes Rolling Stones, it's over. Like, it's already over. Three's over like it's already over three it's already over i have always preferred generally speaking harder rock but my family is a big beatles family like i've talked about my my aunt bennett like she was at both ed sullivan show recordings she was at the Shea Stadium concert. She's a huge Beatles fan. So there was always a lot of Beatles being played in the house going up. I think the first album that I bought for myself with my own money was when it was the Sgt. Pepper's 20th anniversary re-release in 1989.

It was a big hype around it and everything, and I still love that album. I think I do prefer Beatles. I prefer Beatles. You know what's funny? I asked this exact same question to the great sports writer, Woody Page, one time. Do you know what his answer was? What'd he say?

I was asking because I don't remember. I asked him specifically and I don't remember what he said. I was asking because I don't remember. Like I asked him specifically and I don't remember what he said. I was asking you all. Tell me. But he came up because he grew up with Elvis. He grew up with Elvis. So it was just like, well, what?

So as an – so seeing as you grew up with Elvis, who do you prefer, the Beatles or the Rolling Stones? I guess. I was looking up weird Beatles facts before we started. I guess I was looking up weird Beatles facts before we started And one thing that came up was like It said something to the effect that like John Lennon Idolized Elvis and then when he met him

He was very disappointed Never meet your heroes When did he meet him? We get that a lot Yeah it depends when he met him We get that a lot in the VIP after hours That's also true Matthew Name three Beatles songs met him we get that a lot in the vip after our show that's also true uh matthew name three beatles

songs let it be get back and uh lady madonna okay that's a good one whoa deep cut that's a fun one you can always tell which one's paul wrote because they're all silly okay sounds like circus music i have a very similar answer to skid which is that my i was a like i grew up in a beatles family my uncle was a devotee like he bought every if there was a piece of beatles memorabilia he owned it because it became a thing a self-fulfilling prophecy every christmas it was like oh what do we get what do we get him for christmas oh there's a new you know there's a new thing there's a new re-release there's a new lp whatever it a new re-release. There's a new LP, whatever it is. So, but like, I also love the Stones. Like, I listen to the Stones all the time.

But I think if you're like, push comes to shove, what are you playing on Spotify right now? I probably would do, probably would play the White Album. Wow. Okay, you jumped right in and said Stones. Do you, it made me, the way you said it, what I heard was i hate the beatles that's what i heard too i heard beatles are worse than movies like that's the first thing from her tone um i just go off of vibes when it comes to music i don't think too hard about it um i feel like when i was growing

up i was around a lot of people who were really pretentious about music for no reason and it made me hate it so i just say what I like. And I like the Rolling Stones better. I don't really like listening to the Beatles. They could be good. They could be influential. That's good for them. I'm happy for their success.

Happy for them. I think both of them appropriated enough that we... What is influence? What is influence at the end of the day? So you're glad two of them are dead? Yeah. That's horrible, Kate. She didn't even hesitate.

She's like, yep. Horrible. I don't know them. It's like, don't meet your idols. They could suck. They're all regular people. Yeah, that's true. I hear Paul's very nice in person yeah they all seem kind of delightful that is one edge that the beatles have and one of the i think one of the reasons that they achieved the incredible cultural success that they did

is because they were funny and like the movies that they did were pretty good like the you know they were good actors and uh you know like hard day's night is awesome help i was a big fan of you know that's great i feel like hanging out with the rolling stones would be a like kind of a lot of work right like yeah i feel like you could have a fairly like a fairly uh low maintenance interaction with with ringo or or Paul or even Paul for that matter. But I feel like, dude, dude,

absolutely. No question. Like if you got a chance to hang out with a couple Beatles, it would be the greatest thing ever. And if you got a chance to hang out with a couple of Rolling Stones, you'd be miserable. The whole, yeah.

It would just suck. Keith Richards for a day. Like, I don't know, man. It would just suck. It would just suck with Keith Richards for a day. Like, I don't know, man. It would just suck. I just feel like I might have anxiety. It would be a great story, but I don't think you'd be relaxed or anything. That said, I think I would have liked

to hang out with Charlie Watts. That feels like it would have been interesting. He was always smiling in those videos. Always smiling. Always smiling. That's what I remember as a kid. I wasn't allowed to watch MTV as a kid, so I had to sneak it,

but I had a babysitter that watched it. I just remember that. Stop me up! And he's always smiling. Joe, it seems like you've already answered here. The Beatles is what you're saying. Yeah, I'm a Beatles guy. I'm a Beatles guy.

It was funny when you said, as I grow older, I find I like the Beatles more. I've liked theles more the whole time because uh i'm an old soul sure an old soul that is obsessed with video games there is all the people on this call the least the person with the youngest soul it's probably you that's so true uh i love – It's true. I do prefer the Beatles. The thing that gives me pause, the one thing that gives me pause, as Skid said, is like sometimes you just got to rock. You know?

Sometimes you got to rock. And I love rock. I wake up every morning. I have to rock all the time. Yeah. At a party every day. Except for when I want to cry. Right.

It's rocking or crying. Yesterday. And then we can cry together. Yeah, I prefer Beatles. Well, there you have it, folks. Call in. Tell us what your favorites are. And we'll be back next week with more questions.

Well, wait. That was three Beatles to Kate's Rolling Stones to troy's like middle of the road answer like what's your actual preference the stones are better but i like the beetles was troy's answer no no i mean i think it would be the beetles are better but i prefer the stones you know i don't know i think the problem is the hard rock yeah but the thing is is i've been uh when i drive archer to school in the morning I'm trying to like every day introduce him to new music. And so today was a Beatles ride. I was like, we'll play some songs for you.

And this whole ride is going to be the Beatles. And I'm trying to explain to him like, listen, those are drums. That's just drums. Now here comes the electric guitar. And then I get into a car accident. But it got me really excited to like listen to more beatles it's i think the that's george slapping the bass anyways didn't george play bass george played lead guitar he played lead paul mccartney well they rotated on the recordings but norm in their live lineup paul

was usually on bass i I never saw him live. I didn't either. I wouldn't know. You're missing out, dude. You have more? Well, I was just saying, apparently there's a whole, there's like a thing that babies

and kids love The Beatles. Babies and kids love The Beatles? Well, there you go, Joe. Yeah. It's great kid music. It's great kid music. It's great kid music. Yeah, it's pretty good. Kids love it.

Some of it's sad. It's hard to, like, jam out. But, like, some of them start sad, and then by the end, they're rocking. Like, hey, Jude. It's very slow, and then by the end, Yeah, you know what kids aren't in for? A slow burn. Kids aren't like, I like the build, Dad.

They have so much patience. No, kids like Here Comes the dad. I have so much patience. No, kids like Here Comes the Sun. That's a good one for kids. They enjoy that one. Mira recently expressed a preference for Gimme Shelter. Well, she's got a finer palate, I think. Babies love any reference to the Vietnam War.

They just love it. It's true. It's true. Look it up. That was one of the reasons we fought that war, to give babies something to fixate on. Well, speaking of Vietnam, you all are in the jungle right now. That's true. You're in the shit.

Welcome to the jungle. Galarian. I can't believe we're still in Galarian. Galarian. Galarian. I can't believe we're still in Galarian. You're on the boat. You just finished up another horrible dream quest. Everybody's sick of dream quests. Players and viewers alike. But you're recuperating on the boat you know it's funny this goes back to me this goes back to like

book five of giant slayer it's like where where was the line because the dream quests are really fun and then at a certain point it was like enough i don't exactly know where that point was i'll tell you what the point was exactly's when we knew how many we had to do. If you tell me you have to do – like if you show me the clock and say, well, we have to get 12 p.m., it's going to take forever. The way I enjoy it is the variety. I like the variety. You never know what you're stepping into. If you just think about that and don't think about, oh, it's another fetch quest, I think it's fun,

but it's hard to separate that. Yeah, I like the last one. I really liked because I thought that that flipped things around, right? Where it's just like, it didn't work. Did it work? Wait, is this a dream? I love that. That was really cool.

Cool twist. I'm glad that happened at a live show too. But you finished that dream quest and you finally had some time on the boat to connect with each other, which you haven't done for a while. And you have new people that have come into your main crew that you don't even know. And so you're getting to know everyone and getting to know all their little tics and idiosyncrasies. And then night falls on day 64, I think I said. And as you're riding along, you see some lights in the sky on the far shore. And the senator perks up and it's like, what did you guys, what did you say, did you see lights?

The group that told me to flee the area said that their signal would be lights in the sky. Will you let me and my friends go over there? These are the Stardust Augers. These are our saviors. And you've had bad luck just like stopping on the shore for people. But Skywyn basically said, you know what? Go with him. Make sure he's safe because he's promised a big reward to her. Um, she stuck her neck out for him as you did as well. And you're supposed to get a reward as well. So it's in your best interest to just make sure everything's

on the up and up. So he and his three companions and the five of you head into shore. Suki is so quiet, the deeper you get in, you'd almost think she's spending a couple weeks in Italy. In her mind. In her mind. She's already on a gondola. But you approach a clearing and you see this woman casting a spell. And you realize she's casting these lights up in the sky. And she sees all of you approach. And she stops her casting and greets you and says, the great dreamer

has shown us much of your travels in our own dreams. You must be weary. When she says that, tons of other people start emerging from the forest all around you. So that's where we left off. You look around, you see that some of them are dressed similarly to her, like with the same rough-spun robe, some sort of pendant around their neck, similar weapons at their side, while the others seem to be all mixed in their dress and their arms. But some look exactly like her. Another woman steps forward,

another woman steps forward and I can't remember what I said last week but if I'm repeating myself I apologize she steps forward and she's looking at each of you and she says

a Viscount's Gala an enchanted wood not unlike our home in many ways a forgotten necropolis a city known for opulent hedonism and another

known for its dark purveyors of vice a river not unlike the mighty Selen, and an abandoned caravanserai which, if our dreams are correct, will be much changed should you return to it. Who are you? who are you

uh well that's a complicated question to answer uh can we ask turn the tables a bit and ask who you are my name is

Hadrana Ibran and we are the Stardust Ogres. We study dreams and their portents all in the name

of the Great dreamer. We saw the senator's fate in our own dreams. This is why we offered him, his family, and his companions succor, for he is innocent of the crimes that his leaders are pinning on him, and we must protect the innocents at all costs. Little did we know that his fate would be tied up in yours. However, though we have seen your dream journeys, the question remains. Though the senator is innocent, are you?

Though the senator is innocent. Are you? We see much blood on your hands. Some more than others. And she looks right at Aldo and Atticus. Aeris slinks deeper into the shadows of her hooded cloak that is up. And as you do, you bump into someone who's standing right behind you. And you look, and there's three of these people.

They've known. You're on the boat? No, you're on the rails. No, no, we're out in the forest, right? You're in Vietnam. Yeah, we're in the jungle, baby. We're in the shit. You're gonna die. Ah! we're in the jungle, baby. We're in the shit. You're gonna die.

Ah! Cue the roll 20. I'm still on the boat. Please allow me to introduce myself. This is all theater of the mind, Matthew. Now you tell me. War does things to a man, so I understand. In his mind, he's still on the boat.

I'm in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Waiting on a girl. No, you go to back up, and yeah, you brush right into someone. You turn and look, and there's three of these people there. You're surrounded now on all sides by these creepy people identifying themselves as the Stardust Augers. They saw the senator in their dreams. You know that he's innocent. They've the Senator in their dreams. Know that he's innocent. They've seen you in their dreams as well,

but are you innocent? Are they elves? Are they all elves? They look mostly human. You can tell, like, Talden mostly, but there are some non-humans as well. You see a full-blown orc

as well as elves and half-elves. Um, there might be a halfling or a gnome in the back. They're very small. It's hard to see. I don't know why they'd stand in the back. Ethel's gonna lean over to, lean down to Atticus. Should I kill him?

No, no. Stand down. Drastically outnumbered at the moment. Why do you surround us? What is the meaning of this? This is appearing as if it's a threat. We might be forced to defend ourselves. Yeah, I'm getting a very threatening vibe. Seems a bit unnecessary, given what you're saying.

My familiar comes out and sits on my shoulder and tries to act very, very cute in an attempt to kind of be a little bit of an ambassador, you would say, to help us make a good impression right now. What is your familiar again? A poppet. Right. Right. familiar again? A poppet. Right. Right. My familiar squirms around in the tumor inside

my neck in a similar We haven't talked about We didn't get to, you two haven't gotten to bond at all, your various neck accoutrement. That's true. We've got so much in common. We both have horrible things in our necks.

Am I correct in assuming that none of you worship the Great Dreamer? Uh, define worship? Define dreamer. And great. And also define

you. Because there's a bunch of us here you probably can't see. We speak of Desna. Oh! Oh! Yeah, no, Desna. Oh, Desna. She's good, yeah. Hadn't heard that exact nickname,

but, no, love, love, Desna. Perhaps your time that you've spent traveling the dreamlands will bring you closer to her. The halls of Desna are always open to those

who dream. That's generous of her, right? Generous. Yeah. No, that's one of the reasons we worship her. It was my understanding that Desna herself resides over a rather good feeling of life in the way her followers treat each other. And yet every dream that we have had,

every experience we've had in the Dreamlands is fraught with the most mind-bending evil we've ever encountered. What has she let happen to her Dreamlands? That is not her realm. For even experienced dreamers such as we

have never entered the dreamlands. It is far, far too dangerous. That is why your journey is so interesting to us. We mean you no harm. We just had to make sure that you mean us no harm. And truth be told, having seen what we've seen, the jury is still out. Well, allow me

to speak. I'll just hatch it in the one behind it. My son! You're one of the ones to kill. I'm kidding. That'd be like a Walking Dead moment. Finally got this under control, and the loose cannon kills the leader. The leader's son.

Well, I assure you, our trips to the Dreamlands have been very much so against our will. We feel forced to do such a thing because we are on the trail of a man who is responsible for some rather great evil. Now, how is it that you are all dreamers and yet never go to the dreamlands? What do you do in your dreams? Are you controlling yourselves in your dreams? In many ways, we just open our minds to the dreamscape that exists all around us.

Desna has given us the power to see the dreams of others, which is how we have seen you and your companions. But we do not travel. Wait a minute. If you've seen us,

have you seen this Count guy? Count. She looks around. Count. No. I don't know. What does he look like? I've never seen him. You guys know him. I don't know him.

She doesn't know him. No, she's never met him, but he's unpleasant. No, what does he look like? Ooh. About yay tall. And I proceed to give a fairly accurate description of his physical appearance. We have not seen this person you speak of,

but he walked in the same footsteps that you have walked in, in the Dreamlands. He sought after the same objects that these guys were searching for. Perhaps he is protected by something quite powerful. after the same objects that these guys were searching for. Perhaps he is protected by something quite powerful to keep any sort of augury away from him. This is a foe of yours. Well, we believe so. The truth is we haven't had a chance to actually speak directly to him.

I don't believe that it is our intention to simply strike him down where he stands. We need to find out exactly what it is he's up to. But it does seem like he's up to no good. He manipulated our minds. He used us against our will to do horrible things. Things that we don't remember. Because he was controlling us in some way. And he's like trying to say this so that anything that they, because they sort of implied that

we had done terrible things. And he's like deliberately saying this to indicate that we might have been dominated during that time, even though that's not entirely true. Does the traveler know of this count does the traveler know of this count she looks back at her people and uh she's like there was one who came before you who spent time in the dreamlands, and came here assuming that you would be here as well. Traveler, step forward! And the group parts and out walks Nestor Bindley, the man you met in the enchanted wood who was captured.

We met him in Indianapolis no no no and he says oh hello my friends it is honest to be there did you happen to find bricks in your travels what is he saying

I don't understand. Yeah, that's his trademark. Traveler, you can speak of your quarry later. Do you know of this count? No, but they were speaking about him when we met in the enchanted wood.

Oh, well, I'm so excited to see you. When I returned from the enchanted wood, some of my buddies who are way into dreams mentioned that the Stardust Augers were expecting you. So I came to here to visit them and tell them of my experiences for the love people who spend time in the Dreamlands. So I said, and I said, could I hang out with you until my friends come? I wish we had killed him when we had this. Pass your debts? I'm going to need a full recap. I wish we had killed him when we had this show. Yeah, we're going to need a recap and a translator. Yeah, if you remember Indianapolis, it was a real whirlwind.

There's a lot going on that night. This was the second show, too, yeah. So was this the guy who was like, we were looking for some great hunter or something and he was looking for calveta bricks she was uh apparently like poaching uh dreamland tigers and so he followed her in because he's like a a uh conservationist like environmentalist he doesn't want anything anything in nature to be harmed and so that's why he had it out for her, and he went looking for her, and got captured, and you guys saved him, and he went there and said,

I'm gonna go keep looking for Camp Anthropos, and you went on your way, and then the king of the zoogs reclaimed his throne. But anyways, he's saying that he came back, and that he was talking to some of his buddies who were way into dreams and they mentioned that the Stardust Augers

were a group that were expecting you. Dream people, they all talk. Anyway, so he came here hoping to meet you because he's a man that always repays his debts. So I brought some presents for you! Here's a bond and here's a ring! Oh!

So sorry, what did you say? Here's a bond and here's a ring. Oh. So sorry. What did you say? Here's a bird and here's a ring. No. Even less that time. I look at the actual items. Yeah, could you? Can we get him a chalkboard, please?

Someone. The traveler speaks strangely, but we just assumed it was the time he spent in the dreamlands, warped his speech patterns. Evidently, no, it's just him hearing you speak. But, yes, he gives you this wand and this ring.

Oh, yeah. It is a small token that I was saving for my wife, but I am unmarried because I'm, how you say, unable to be loved. Guess it's the bastard's life for me to take my prize position. So, what are they, exactly? What does the wand do?

Oh, yes, that wand will help you in your travels, for it gives you freedom of movement. Oh, wow. What? Amazing. What? It's a wand of freedom of movement.

Oh, that's great. And that ring, that ring is very special. Should you face a caster, that's a ring of cutispills. Joe? Cowder spells? That's right, cutispills. Oh, wow. Yeaher spells? That's right. Cauter spells. Oh, no. Yeah, see? Yeah.

Okay. Great. You never know when you're going to need a regular couter spells. As you know, I don't drink at the live shows anymore, but this was the live show where I was like, I need. I need the audience to break all their rules about shots and some of the audience right now, because there's no way I'm going to get through this without help. You could not do it sober.

In a cute dispense, just for you, oh, my wife would have loved it, but she doesn't exist. Because you can't be loved. I can't be loved, that's what they say. God help me. Ethel, turn to this. Can we unpack that for a minute?

Because it's just hitting me right in the center, right? Like at the core of my very being. You can't be loved? That's what they say. Many of the women that I fall in love with, they don't want to love me back. So I cry. I'm sorry, do you cry or try? I cry!

And I just keep on crying. Cry as I might. Nothing ever works for old Nasty Biddley. What's your name? Are you friends with the king of the zoogs? Who is your little clown friend? Who is the king of the zoogs? Who is your little clown friend? Who is the king of the zoogs?

Who is the clown friend? I feel like I'm hearing about this friend you have and when I showed up you were very surprised but this person sounds weirder And who are you? We briefly catch up Eris and Ethel on who Xantar of the Zoogs is.

We've met him. He's on the ship. I'm sure you... Well, is he still on the ship? He is? I didn't know if you took a brief... He's on the ship, but he's been very sick. Right. He's very tired, very sick. And then our clown friend. I don't know if they've ever... Yeah, Eris has not crossed paths.

Ethel, you haven't either, right? He took off in Galt, didn't he? He was like, I remember this place! And he left. So Tiny Murder Clown's no longer on the boat. Xandar, maybe you haven't had a chance to talk to him because he's so tired. He's a little depressed. He's sleeping all the time.

So you guys, Ethel and Eris, you get to meet Nestor. You now have these, these magical items and yada, yada, yada. The Stardust Augers in seeing how the story that Nestor has been telling them, like, oh,

they came and said, believe is all true. It's enough to kind of prove to them that you're, you're good people. And so they kind of usher, a small group of them usher the senator and his three companions away. And as they're pulling away, the senator comes and says, Thank you. Thank you so much for all that you've done. The senator comes and says, thank you.

Thank you so much for all that you've done. In hearing of your trials on the river, you've faced so many hardships for you to take my companions and I in for the promise of a reward. When it wasn't in hand, it shows who you are as people. And I promise you this. When you get to Talder, I want you to go here to this address. And he writes something on a little scrap paper. And there will be something waiting for you. I promise you this. When you get to Talder, I want you to go here to this address. And he writes something on a little scrap paper. And there will be something waiting for you. I promise you that. And you can tell that your captain, Miss Selling, what's her name, Freeling, that there'll be something waiting for her at the docks. I feel safe now, and I thank you. And he double-clasps all of your hands and then goes off with his friends. And Hadrana, who was addressing you earlier, says the senator and his companions are most welcome here, and we will escort him to my contacts in Tal'Dor, where he'll be reunited with his family and where his compassionate political skills will be put to good use.

As for you, you are most welcome here, but I understand there are others nearby on a boat, yes? Yes, we travel here by boat, and there is a rather substantial crew aboard that we have left behind. Are they sick? Three times as many as we need, to be honest. At least. Are they sick? Are they hungry?

Yes, indeed. Yeah, one's very depressed. Yes. Could we bring them? If we were able to dock the boat, could we bring them along? Yes, you and your friends are welcome to spend the evening with us. We will have a celebration in Desna's name. One more question.

Do any of them suffer the afflictions that four of you suffer? The four of you suffer. And she points to Eris, Ethel, Atticus, and Suki. And Atticus looks to the side. How do you know that? The taint is evident. Ethel buries his hatchet and the guy's just... So rude. The taint.

Stop looking at that. It's private. How do you know what you asked? How do we know? You know what our taints are? Or that we just have one? You are familiar with our taints are? Yes. Or that we just have one? We...

You are familiar with our taints. We've studied them. I saw you looking. I do apologize. I just know a taint when I see one. And in sharing the dream space with you, we felt as if your life was winked out. Normally, on the material plane,

when you perish in a dream, you wake up. It is different in the dreamlands, no? It is. It affects me differently. Do you know how to rid us of it? Do you know of a means by which we can cure it? Your mind is More addled than your Friends, yes

I only know my mind I know I am not myself Come closer I know I am not myself. Come, close it. The taint smells. The taint is so strong, I can almost smell it. Oh, it's nauseating. Well, not that close. All right, stay. we can do this from afar

God she says yes and she just kind of puts her hand up near your face and like starts turning it back and forth she's like yes the mind of the dreamer

is like a puzzle in many ways. Sometimes the pieces get corrupted, and as she says that she, like, reaches out in space and, like, looks like she's grabbing onto something, and when she does that, you, like, wince in pain.

She's like, it's alright. This seems to be something here. The wood that you like wince in pain. She's like, it's all right. This seems to be something here that would perhaps inhibit your memory and your speech. And she just keeps grasping at it and just... And you no longer have the uh hot wow what was it called the uh uh new uh i want to say pneumatic uh just cognitive cognitive dissonance cognitive dissonance yeah oh amazing he feels like oh

like uh have you ever had impacted earwax? Have you ever had that cleared out? Like all of a sudden you're like. It's like a world of sound opens up to you. He just feels like the knowledge roll into his head that was so murky before. The things he already knew he's remembering again. Just. And. That is incredible... That is incredible.

That is incredible. Do Aldo! Oh, wait, he doesn't have a problem. No, I don't. Do me, do me. Do him, do him. The dreams have left my sleep disquieted for some time now. I really appreciate being able to just go to sleep,

my troubles away, instead of having to relive them over and over and over again. If you don't mind. Yes, well, that is the problem with sleep, isn't it? It may heal wounds. It may remove toxins from your system.

But it cannot cure the ailments that you speak of my dear friend she's reaching around and she's like oh there is much there is much here beyond the taint

no one's ever touched me beyond the taint before alright I got dinner first why don't you No one's ever touched me beyond the table before. All right. I got dinner first. Why don't you? And she, uh, she like closes her eyes.

She says, what was, what was her name? Delilah. Delilah. Delilah. Delilah. This affliction, this madness that haunts you, she is a part of it, yes.

A single tear starts to stream down Ethel's face. She's a part of everything. That's what it means to love someone isn't it yes doesn't it I could remove her from your mind as well no

not her she stays alright be still No, not her. She stays. All right. Be still. Your taint is leaking. I hate it when that happens. And she grabs at your... night terrors.

Shatters it. I'm still kind of tired, though. I guess I gotta take a nap. Do you guys mind if I take a 15? No more clock and everything. Yeah, that's fine. Excuse me, Miss Hadrana. She jumps.

I'm sorry. It wasn't you. I have a taint. I'm afraid of the water, which is very problematic for me right now. Being on a boat. But water brings life.

Yeah. Why would you fear life? I love life is the thing. So. But I hate water. She eats children as well. I mean,

she could eat them up. She loves them so much. That's a child's life. It's a figure of speech. Is there anything you could do about my taint with being afraid of water? Yes, I believe I can. Great.

Close your eyes and mine. Oh. Oh, God. Oh, God. Don't wander around in there. Yeah. Seriously. There is a lot going around in there. Yeah, seriously. There is a lot going on in there.

So I've repressed, so if you could just leave it where it is. Oh, God. Now a single tear goes down Adrana's face. Oh, God. Where's this water field? There it is. All right, you're all set. Good Lord. Thank you. Nobody go in that brain. Where's this water field? There it is. Alright, you're out of it. Good lord!

Thank you. Nobody go in that brain. And then Suki never knew what her affliction was. She had a madness, but it never manifested. They can't find it for her? No, they can find it. And they remove it. They tell her that had she ever tried to fly in the real world,

she would have plummeted to the ground. Oh, that's very dangerous. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Good thing we got that addressed. Yes. So she shatters that like crystal as well.

This is amazing that they could do this. So huge. And she says she can remove your other madness because you have multiple afflictions, Atticus, but says it's unwise to do it all at once. If we're all going to stay the night, she'll do it

in the morning before you depart. And kind of makes it clear, like, you know, in the morning when you get all these people out of here. Yeah. Got it. Noted. That O.J. Simpson ate all of our corn. So you bring all the people in the boat and it's a big party, I guess.

I don't know. It's not like there's music or anything, but they're a cool bunch. It's like hanging out with a church crowd. Everybody's really nice, you know, but like if you're not into Desna, you kind of don't have a ton to talk about. So you have your little church hour, and they have huts and hammocks, and some of them sleep out under the stars, but it's very safe and there's tons of people and

when you wake up the next day you are not only feeling refreshed and reinvigorated for this final dream quest and the last leg of your boat journey but you are all madness free. That's really making me like double down

on not wanting to die in this last one it's like we can't come back here so i know i'm just gonna wake up without the artifact car wash and it starts raining it's just like oh no come on come on just out of curiosity you wouldn't mind if maybe we did a little dream ritual here for... Oh. Oh, that's very interesting, Ethel. Oh. Very interesting. In case something were to happen.

We have heard of such rituals, but never seen them enacted. You can totally watch if you want. I was going to ask that. The problem with rituals, though, is sometimes they run afoul and bad things happen. I would just not want that to happen to my people. Well, we could move a good distance away from your people, and you could just bring those who wish to watch the ritual happen.

We would have to do it in the middle of the crowd. Yeah, maybe you mentioned this the night before and so they agree to it and she's like, there's a few of us that would like to watch. And so they're gonna watch this. Alright, great.

You touch my chain, I touch yours. Yeah, so even if we get into this situation, even if we die we there's a chance we could just get cured right when we come back that's amazing yeah that's smart let's take a let's take a quick break and think about it so you have your fun little desner cleric party. Your weird Desna party. They have kegs. It's cool. Oh, hey, wait a second. Sorry. If I may,

I meant to do this during the band, but I got really distracted by Beatles Rolling Stones discussion. I have to thank a member of the niche very, very quickly. You know I discouraged that.

And it must not. I know. You hate it. It must happen. Jennifer Spangler, thank you so much for sending me a Lord of the Rings board game

over Christmas. It was amazing. I've had a freaking note. It's written on the back of a deposited check. I've had it freaking note. It's written on the back of a deposited check. I've had it in front of my computer through at least five recordings. Not only of this show, but of Legacy of the Ancients, where I was going to mention it, too. And I keep forgetting to say thank you.

Now I can throw this goddamn thing out. Thank you, Jennifer Spangler. I appreciate it. The new one? The new board game? No, it's like an old Lord of the rings board game uh that is like a two-player uh you know like uh the war of the ring the war of the ring kind of thing but it's like old old like 90s old i think uh i don't know it could be aughts but i i it's awesome and thank you i just

want to say thank you it's very nice uh christmas gift but uh sorry we are are little mid-show band little mid-show band bro let's talk about two other bands the police and Chubba Wumba not who's better

not who's better who do you prefer who do you prefer uh Desmond Party kegs madness is gone you know sometimes those church people Uh, Desner party, kegs, madness is gone.

You know, sometimes those church people can let loose. That's true. Get a couple swiller lights into them and they start talking. Uh, unfortunately, uh, they really wanted you out by the morning and now you have to stay till nighttime to do this ritual.

So now it's just kind of a lot of, so, uh, they're asking you questions that they've already asked you so what where are you from originally? I have amnesia you don't have to do small talk if you don't want to it's totally fine I have amnesia yeah you know what in fact

I think that that is something that kind of happens to Atticus I don't think that he's socializing i think that once he gets the vibe of these people he's just like not into it and this is a distraction and as he went back to the boat to get you know tell people to come he's uh grabbing a few of the relevant tomes and bringing them back to the camp in this campfire. And he's pouring over them because he does not want to make a mistake in this ritual. So he's just like constantly studying what our next thing is. By like a candlelight. Even though he can cast the spell light.

It's just, he likes it old school. So you're off by your own, just studying. Yes. In the darkness, waiting for night to really come. He has darkvision. He doesn't need a can. Anyway. Yeah, and Aldo's been a big

part of this research as well, and then having another person trained in the arcane arts, like Eris and Suki's got some magic too. That's the odd one I can't even read. Excuse me? Is that true? I can read.

Well, sure. How do you think he deciphers all those divorce papers that he gets? The four literate PCs are way into these books, studying away. In one off-hand comment, I've become the Lea Michele of the program. Did I ever tell you guys, my friend Nick Shelton, he used to try to convince people that he couldn't read? He used to, like, suddenly, he'd go around and he's's like I don't have my glasses with me. Could you, what is this? And it's just like, that's a box of Wheaties. Oh, right.

Oh, of course. Of course. Does Nick Shelton need any kind of like movies or television or other entertainment? He seems like he could just entertain himself for the rest of his life. It was very fun hanging out with him in high school, I have to say. Atticus, you're pouring over these books with your friends who are readers.

And you've already discovered that you're looking now for a webbed red foot. This is the last gift. You have five out of six. You're hoping to get six out of seven before you return to the abandoned caravanserai so the yellow king can take you to the mad poet. That's a crazy sentence to

say, but that's what your near future is looking like. You remember finding that lavishly illustrated bestiary identifying rare creatures called Womps. These bizarre aberrations with lots of legs that end in webbed

feet. You remember reading a medical journal describing rare diseases like corpse pox, ghoul fever, and zombie rot as diseases that these carrion-eating womps can inflict with their bites. Womps eat dead things. And so the diseases they get from these rotting corpses,

they can then give in their bites. Oh, man. And so because of that, you learn that you should avoid cemeteries and necropolises where wamps sometimes congregate in large numbers because they're nasty. But now, as you're looking over these books, for the last time, you feel confident that you have the phrase

to take you to the next area so you gather in a clearing somewhere in this wood wall he's going to speak to one of these uh uh stardust augers you know what's her name

uh hadrana and she says yes and she's taking off her robe. All of them are disrobing. No, no, that's entirely unnecessary. No, no, this is how we do things, says one of the men. Okay. Atticus is going to say, what do you know of contracting perhaps a deadly wasting disease like a zombie rot or a corpse pox in the dreamlands? Is that something that would carry back into the waking world, to your knowledge?

In what little knowledge we have of the dreamlands, we feel as if it's diseases of the mind that carry over. Excellent, excellent. But perhaps zombie rot would be a mind-afflicting disease, since zombies eat brains. It's quite literal. Says the naked man, free-fee-free. He's just like...

Okay, quite a literal interpretation, but... It's put my mind at ease now please if I may quiet in the audience we can have no distractions they stand giving you a wide berth four of them fully nude under the moonlit sky

I was going to ask have they all disrobed they've all disrobed and uh is Suki with us? they do not take care of themselves I was going to ask, have they all disrobed? They've all disrobed, yeah. Is Suki with us? They do not take care of themselves. She might be. Okay.

I'll just roll with it. It's dark. It's dark. It's so dark. There's a lot of distractions. You think Suki's there? You don't know. I have dark vision. I roll perception to You think Suki's there? You don't know. I have dark vision. I roll perception to see if Suki's there. Yeah.

I'll aid. Troy's there. Yeah, there she is. Oh, nice. Atticus is just going to go over to Aldo. One last breath. Look up at him. Just be like,

let's give them a show. And the guy, one of the naked guys, just comes up, puts his arm around both of you guys like, I am ready for this. So ready. Alright, have fun out there. Lextra rub on the lower back.

A little weird back rub. Have fun. Last night they seemed all right, but... Hmm. This ritual has got more worked up. I know. Let's get to work. You feel comfortable falling asleep in front of them.

I don't know. Oh, yeah. I believe they have a get to work. You feel comfortable falling asleep in front of them. I don't know. Oh, yeah. I believe they have a great deal of respect for this ritual. I'm not to be it. I'd be okay if they didn't. Nothing worse than a naked person just giving you a hug from behind. Hey! Have a good dream. Depending on the circumstances,

it can be awful. Yeah, especially moments before you're going to sleep. You guys have fun. That's one of the worst situations. All right, let's rock. Drinking. All right, so you recite the words that you recite.

You recite the phrase as you pass this small staircase around for one of the last times, perhaps, rubbing your fingers along each individual step. As you pass it to the next person, the staircase gets larger, and you continue to rub your fingers, passing it, passing it, and passing it, until it becomes unwieldy and falls, this time, instead of to the floor of the boat, to the ground, and you just see a staircase descending into hell. Amazing.

And you perhaps maybe look back before you go down and see the wide-eyed faces of the stardust augers watching you as you descend down this staircase. As you go further and further down, just as it always happens, right when you enter the staircase and turn back, the world that you were just in no longer exists.

You have to imagine, and maybe you don't think about it that much, but what's happening is your bodies are just laying there as that staircase hit the ground you all fell asleep and yet here you are walking downstairs and as you start walking down the stairs the stairs start to turn into crumbling stone and And the stone is like, it almost has like a ceramic look to it in certain parts. There's some light down below

that's coming up and it's kind of glinting off some of these ceramic portions of the stone until you finally exit and look around and all your companions are there in a desolate city, just devoid of any life that you can see. It looks like it was perhaps a shining metropolis at some point, but now it looks completely abandoned.

There are tall buildings pressing in around you in a wide, empty town square. Aldo and Atticus, you immediately, like, get this weird deja vu feeling of your initial dream that you had back in the asylum. Oh, wow. Being in a city that you now think may have been Carcosa. Carcosa. You feel that again. There's no sickly yellow

fog enveloping you, but that's the first place you're taken back to as you just feel hemmed in by these buildings. The sky above is low and leaden, and there's this feeling of oppression and abandonment hanging in the air, along with a powerful, unpleasant odor of just decay. You start to take in your surroundings now and really hone in on what you can see nearby. You see a few scraggly plants that look like they're formed from yellow ceramic sitting in window boxes on some of the buildings nearby. There are a couple of trees in this square as well, but the trees aren't wooden.

but the trees aren't wooden. They're also that same yellow ceramic as the plants in the window boxes, all the way up to their top branches and what little leaves they still have clinging to them. You take in the buildings, they're all constructed of stone, and they have that same yellowish ceramic chunks to them here and there, the same chunks that you saw on the stairs as you were coming down. In fact, everywhere you look, you see, dotting the area around you, this yellow ceramic material replacing things that shouldn't have that. replacing things that shouldn't have that.

A bird sitting on a tree branch made of yellow ceramic. A small dog asleep or dead under a tree. You don't know. It's made of yellow ceramic like a statue. And there's also, now that you really look, you're not alone. There are people, but they're not people. They're, I guess, statues, yellow ceramic statues of people,

but they're in weird poses, like mundane poses, like walking. Just like looking up in the sky. And haphazardly about. They're moving, or they're... No, they're just there. Like, you didn't even notice them. You didn't even notice them at first. They're just, like, a part of this strange, uh, desolated city. What do you do?

Does it look like they were just kind of frozen in what they were doing? Like mundane stuff? It does appear that way, yeah. You know, because there's not a heroic soldier pose, you know, like sword and hand or anything. It looks like people are just like

frozen in this state not unlike the bird and the dog anything like this in the books that we read any mention of this no you did read about something to do with a plague of some sort but there were a lot of

questions as to what began the plague and what the final outcome was and then there was no further literature on it as if whoever was reporting on it died Aldo the text spoke of plague

could it have turned these living things into ceramic? And he like, he'll walk up to a person and like touch the person. As he's like saying this absentmindedly, he's just like reaching out to touch one of these ceramic people that are frozen. Touch them and they're cold to the touch, but otherwise inert. And just the one that you walk up to

is just like standing there with its hand near its face. Can I... Sorry, go ahead. You go. can I do a society check just to see just with their their garb or anything that they're carrying if there's any anything familiar about the culture of these

people yeah and they were alive 17 17 um it appears that they're very nicely dressed which conflicts with what's left of this city which just looks like like it was completely bombed out um but these people look very nicely dressed, not dressed like the people in the Viscount's court or the people at the gala at Sarnath. Just like a different type of society, but you can tell. It looks like these are nice clothes. Question. I think I know the answer just to rule it out. Nice clothes. Question.

I think I know the answer just to rule it out. The ceramic-ness of the people does not at all resemble what happened with the Draculists, right? Correct. Yeah. Yeah, no, it seems very different, as your friends have told you, of that horrible experience where they lost some of their friends. Because you weren't there. I wasn't there. Come on.

I don't want to linger in this place too long. Ethel, do you think... Could you try chipping away at one? See if there's anything underneath. Your ethically dubious wish is my command. Do it delicately. Just maybe on the arm. Just a bit of chip. Of like a bird, maybe, and not a person?

Yes, the dead dog. Yes, start on the dog. Excellent. Ethel has already drawn his warhammer and a small knife to use as a chisel. Yes, perfect. I knew you would know what to do, Ethel. Who am I doing?

The guy over there or the dog or the bird? Oh, I'm confused. Let Eris decide. Are there any children around? No. Damn. The bird. I'm feeling the effects of Desna and all the niceness.

All right. Ethel will go up, and he'll tap, tap, tap on the edge, on the hilt of the knife with his warhammer and try to chisel off a little piece. Ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. That sound really reverberates because there's no other sound at all. However, as he's working away at it, it doesn't shatter immediately,

so you keep going to see if you can find anything. Everybody roll a perception check. You did something, Ethel. 31 for Ethel Merman. Oh, yeah, dude. 27 for Atticus. Got 22. 16 for Aldo.

Oh, no. All right, so whereas Aldo is very focused on what Ethel's doing, Ethel, his eyes in the back of his head, and you and Atticus and Eris notice down a couple nearby alleyways some faces like dart back into cover. Like they were looking at you and then they dart away. Several faces. Ethel will click his tongue to get everyone's attention and he'll gesture with his head toward the alleyway

that he just saw for those of you listening to this as a podcast I just did about a 10 second intro to where we did bad baseball signs full on SWAT team you guys looked exactly like a SWAT team I'm sorry a SEAL team

I meant a SEAL team SWAT team alright so you begin making your way down the alley the nearest alley because there's several here. Stealthily. Alright, give me a stealth check. Okay. Oh, that's a natural nine. Me too.

Oh, so it's a 22. 19. 22, 19. Okay. Are Aldo and Atticus hanging back? Yes. Yep.

Okay. I mean, I'll follow, but at a distance. At a distance. I'll give them a little bit of room. They're much stealthier. So Eris and Ethel begin sneaking down this alleyway in the direction of these faces that were darting. And you're sneaking down, sneaking down, and you look right to your left because you just know someone is looking at you. And both of you turn and see this face, this like gray face with long dripping fangs.

And it ducks away. this, like, gray face with long, dripping fangs. Just going... And it ducks away. But as it ducks away, climbing down the walls of the buildings around this alley, Aldo and Atticus, you see this, about a dozen of these creatures that they just saw start, like, coming out of holes in the wall, out of windows, and climbing down fire escapes. Aldo and Atticus, you have the best view on this because Eris and Ethel, you're about to be surrounded by them.

Give me a knowledge check. Atticus and Aldo. Religion? Yes. Come on, Atticus. That's not great. 20. I got a natural 20.

Oh! Critical success! So Atticus, because he's so fucking dumb. Come on, it's still a 20. He thinks that a bunch of ghouls are coming down to surround Ethel and Eris. But Aldo's wise. He says to Atticus, you dumb rat.

Come on. Yes, they're in the ghoul family. But those are ghasts. Oh, come on. They, they're in the ghoul family. But those are ghasts. Oh, come on. The worst. And there's about 18 of them approaching. And we'll see you next week. That's too many.

Cool, cool, cool. Oh, my God. I'm sure they'll be our friends, just like the other people were when we fought. Seriously. Maybe they'll be clerics. You can't fight 18 ghasts. Maybe they're Desmo we fought. Seriously. Maybe they'll be clerics. You can't fight 18 get. Maybe they're Desmo worshippers. Yeah.

Could be. Could be. One never knows. Sound like this. Maybe they just need a match. Skin. Skin amazing. We're just going to sit back and watch you die.

Take it all in. We'll see you next week, you good boss. Good night, everybody. There are places I remember. Remember. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else

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