The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 64 – Show Boat

Episode Date: February 28, 2023

With the final gift in hand, the heroes bid farewell to the Stardust Augurs and prepare for the final leg of their boat journey. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/79aNMRGwcls For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Offer ends June 3, 2024. Visit tdaeroplan.com for details. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the Glass Cannon Fraudcast. The only podcast that deals with history's most infamous instances of fraud. I think I'm in the wrong. I think I'm in the wrong Zoom chat. Kate, I believe we left off last week with you.

What is your favorite instance of historical skullduggery? What? Can you define skullduggery? Don't be coy. Wait, skullduggery. Is this something I'm going to regret Googling right now? Don't image search it. Just find the definition.

A bouquet of dicks pops up. Skullduggery. I think if it's in a bouquet it's quite lovely a bouquet by the way is seven or more like a murder of crows bouquet of dicks i actually i actually did just read about an instance of historical fraud that apparently is still ongoing which is the largest automobile theft in global history. Do you guys know the story? No.

You ever hear about this? Is it McAllen, Texas? We're not McAllen, Texas. It is. Can you read about this news? North in the seventies,

North Korea ordered like a thousand Volvos and they were shipped and they were, they were shipped to North Korea and then Volvo sent them a bill and they just ignored it. So they just ignored the invoice. Like it was Columbia House Records? So they just – for now 50 years, North Korea has just been – and I think they send like two invoice reminders a month because they're accruing interest. So every two invoices, they just ignore it. And it's up to like $300 million

or something. How do you enforce that? Exactly. Exactly. This reminds me of the Simpsons episode with the trillion dollar bill. Get it back. Get what back?

Get what back? Mr. Burns, I think we can trust the president of Cuba. So how's everybody doing, huh? It's Thursday night. And it's actually Thursday night. We're recording this while another show airs. Did everybody have a good week? It's not Thursday night. We're recording this while another show airs. Did everybody have a good week? It's not over yet.

So if it wasn't a good week, don't be bummed. You still got one more day. That's so positive. It's not over yet is what I'm saying. You get a buzzer beater on Friday. Right. Salvage the week. You get a nice email on Friday.

Well, that's good. You never get a nice email at 5 p.m on friday but maybe speaking of a uh speaking of a buzzer beater i had a good week and this is going to be so this might be material for the degenerate dungeon uh which is our sports betting uh random show on the gcn employee lounge and. And I made a bet this week that I really believe is the most degenerate of degenerate things that I've ever done, which is I was missing football and I was like, I really need to bet money. And I picked an NBA game between the Oklahoma City Thunder and some other team. And I don't know any players on either team. And I picked three players I've never heard of. And I just bet they're under and parlayed them.

And I hit the bet the next morning. Oh, wow. Because I was just like, let's see if knowing something matters in betting versus not knowing anything. Turns out, doesn't matter. In fact, knowing something might be your downfall. So I'm going to keep putting this to the test. Joe, I think this might be an object lesson for many things.

What were the odds when you parlayed it? Plus 360 or something like that. So I bet five bucks and I won like 18. It was fun. It was fun. Winner, winner. Chicken, dinner. So I bet five bucks and I won like 18. It was fun. It was fun. Winner, winner. Chicken dinner. So I'm rolling hot this week.

I know. Going into the air. Staying on O'Brien tonight after the show. Champagne at the after party. You get like one really nice cocktail with $18. Yeah.

You would not be able to afford the mushroom toast at the new Low Boat House. Well, thanks for running me down, Matthew. Now I'm sad again. You gotta get in there. You gotta parlay that again.

You gotta parlay that. Lay that 18. You can treat yourself to some mushroom toast. I was gonna say this before the show, but I thought it'd be fun to say during the show we were just given a lease to our new recording space. Oh, yay!

We have not signed the lease because it's 300 pages long. And I'm not going to read it. But we've got the lease. It looks like things are moving and we will be moving in pretty soon. Awesome. So exciting. So exciting. Skid, your feelings, your thoughts

on recording in person again. I am so excited. I can't wait. I was actually just in the neighborhood today where I believe the space is. I love going back there. I'm so psyched to have an excuse to go back there more often. I

am beside myself with joy. Now it's a good week. Now it's a good week. To push this over the hump into being a good week. I'm beside myself with joy. Now it's a good week. Now it's a good week. To push this over the hump into being a good week. I'm so excited to see you guys in person because I think about, you know, the way my brain works is when I remember things, I look on my camera roll on my phone to remember, like, dates of things because I can't keep it all in my head. Sure. And there is a hilarious picture of Skid on my phone from the last time we were in the studio r.i.p in peace and uh it's him pointing at the whiteboard and the whiteboard just says

fuck his collar is like upturned he looks disheveled and he's like smiling and pointing at the whiteboard it's right before the whole city shut down, and I think it's the funniest photo ever. God, it's going to be good. I mean, we play together on the road, but we haven't even been on the road in a couple months, so it'll be good to get back on the road soon. We're almost ready to lock in some dates, and then, yeah, moving into the studio,

I just can't wait to play in person again. Yeah, very excited. So, funny whiteboard thing. So, Skid, when we go to these live venues for the live shows, if you don't know about this, he writes on the wall in really small, weird handwriting. Like childish handwriting. He writes, he just writes, because it's where everybody's name is, all the bands and all that stuff. And he just writes, Glass Cannon, C-A-e-m for some reason everywhere so then so then when we started the text chain

for the new crew here for this like updates and stuff like that that's what it's named and so it's come up you know like a bunch of my phone so i was filling something out for the lease and it auto-corrected the company name to Glass C-A-N-E-N-L-S-E. And I didn't catch it. Like on the first pass. It was like the second pass. I was like, oh, my God. It's auto-correcting us to that new company name. So I have to say the reason I did it is because you go into these venues and like I think it started at the Comedy Club.

The Helium, right? Yeah, Helium. And everyone is just like – Not it started at the comedy club the helium right yeah helium and everyone is like the year before yeah yeah yeah and like everyone there's all these comedians like big drawing their name all big like brad williams is like like dread big fancy things and so i just tried to do it in the most pathetic possible way and it just makes me laugh. Just seeing it in contrast to all this other stuff makes me laugh so hard. I'm glad I caught on. You've really mastered a really pathetic script.

We're not doing it justice and saying it looks like a child. It looks like a child that's been writing for a while. You know what I mean? It's a child who's doing it very carefully. It also looks like you're writing with your off hand on like a really concentrated... You know what I mean? It's a child. It's very neat. Or like, yeah. I like to think of it as like. You're like writing with your off hand. Really concentrating.

Yeah. I like to think of it as like comic sans, but if it was like a sad font. Yeah. Yeah. If comic sans was depressed sans. Depressed sans. Old.

I feel like, Skid, you've mastered like a particular streak of humor. That's like taking the piss out of something, but only for you. It really was a joke just for me. Something for me to enjoy. I'm glad that anyone else finds it funny. That's a win.

Well, here's a joke that I think we can all enjoy. Let's check out last week's Roll20 real quick. Kate was pointing this out pre-show. It's just such a cornucopia of nonsense. When you look at this screen, you get the Ring of Fire. You've got this giant womp. You've got a

triceratops with a catapult on its back. Some sort of weird drawing here. I think it said, hey, but I've now eliminated it. Now it just looks like a sentient cloud. All these statues. A little little poppet people are off the map it's a real it was a real humdinger of a uh combat it got out of control it really did like just just drop somebody in this map with no context and be like tell the story of what happened here uh i mean i especially of all the things that

are obvious and wild it's also just so funny that these enemy pig bug spider things that are on the other side of the fence are lined up four in a row just like a wall of them standing waiting what were they doing they look like showgirls they look like i need to dance in their shoes if you haven't if you haven't seen a womp kick line, you haven't seen a kick line. You haven't lived. You haven't lived. Well, you know, we got you guys succeeded. I can't I can't believe you did.

And it really was the ring of fire. That was the big turning point because it kept most of these whomps from not joining the battle. kept most of these whomps from not joining the battle. So even though Ethel went down, you were able to protect him within this ring of fire and keep the, you know, four out of six whomps away. And although the ceramic guardians, only

one of them went down, you were able to chop off one of the whomps' feet, and Atticus awoke. Now, we could spend 30 minutes playing out what happens to Jemigah Detsu! Jemigah Detsu! I'm not doing

any of that. This is what I think we see. I think we see Atticus come to and this is the first time you're coming to not on the boat, you're coming to back in the woods where the Stardust Augers joined you at a distance in the nude

to watch you perform your Dreamland excursion ritual. So you come to, and you look up, and there's just a dangling man next to you that's like, are you all right? You survived. Yes. Yes, the others. Are they awake? And he's looking around at the group. No, no, and we've sensed great trouble. Please, stand back.

Trouble where? Trouble here or there? Trouble in their minds. We've seen the battle, we've seen your journey, and we must help them now. So, are you okay? Are you in your right mind? Yes, yes, I was able to escape unseen and wake up before they even knew I was there. How many fingers am I holding up? 16. All right, you are fine.

That actually was 16. I am a bad man. I think it was, like. It really was. You were like. Five, five, five, four. All right, stand back. We must help you.

James, put your hands on me. That wasn't my hand. Oh! Please, we don't know what state they'll be in. And the remaining Stardust Augurs just come around your companions as they either wake up or died in the Dreamlands, and they do the same thing to you that Hadrana Ibran, the leader, the de facto leader of the Shardasagas did,

when they reached into your mind and removed madnesses. They're just sort of preemptively doing this as Ethel and Eris and Aldo and Suki are coming back to the forest. They're just, they're sorting through and maybe some of you had madnesses and maybe some of you actually made it out alive. Find out in a flashback scene later that has no bearing on the outcome of this game. They ate me. They ate me piece by piece. And they kept me alive for it

that's what happened Ethel how many fingers did I open? 21 damn this crew is good they're alright Adonai none of them are mad anymore I wonder if anyone has ever thought of that before.

I've never heard of that joke before. That's a really good joke. How many figures am I holding up? Really test them. Like, really test them. 27. That's how they know. That's good.

So, Hedrana comes in. She's putting her robe on. She's like, we saw everything. The ring of fire. The illusionary womp. The little doll. Your friends falling. The ceramic guardians.

The gas. We could see it all. Though probably not exactly the same way you saw it. Were you able to retrieve that which you sought? Atticus looks down at his empty hands. Yes, I believe so. What are you... what are you looking at? I thought it was there for a moment, but I always forget. It does not return with us, yet it is in our possession in the Dreamlands.

That seems to be how it works. Ah, yes. We have heard of this issue. That that which you claim in the Dreamlands does not come back with you. Is it true that when you return, all of these things are in your possession? Yes. At least they have been on all of our other excursions. I hope this one is still there. But I feel confident I had it. Yes, it is there.

Fascinating. Well, let us rejoin your friends and the others. It has been a long night for all of us, and we gotta go. Suki, as fire, it was truly incredible. It was something. You saved me. Up until the point where it went away, and then they ate me piece by piece. Right, well, I died. It was incredibly painful.

Sorry I couldn't keep it up, but I don't know if you saw, I turned into a big dinosaur and then I died. I didn't see any of that, actually. Right, you're in the wall of fire. Sorry, sorry, my mistake. But you've done it before and it's always very impressive, I'll say.

Very impressive. Suki is very grateful that you are saying this and then you just see like tears are just coming out of her eyes your eyes are wet did you guys see that coming out of your face what no and she just kind of

like tries to like rub them she's like very clearly crying and she's like oh did you just like eat some like bad mustard or something And she just kind of tries to rub them. She's very clearly crying. And she's like, I'm fine. Did you just eat some bad mustard or something? No, I don't think so. I think I'm fine. Thank you. Thank you all.

Oh, I see. She's crying. Crying? What's that? I was wondering if it gets fluid. Yeah. Is this an emotional crying? Or is this a food-related thing? It's not food-related.

Sorry. Is it allergies? Why are you crying, then? Did someone scare you? Were you uncomfortable with our nudity? She's, like, laughing at Aerith. Did someone scare me? She's too used to dealing with children.

Yeah. Dealing with. She knows how to deal with them. Take care of them. She looks around the Stardust Ogres who she appreciates but she kind of turns back to the group,

and she says, When we traveled down the staircase, did you, for a moment, did any of you end up elsewhere before we entered into the graveyard? No, only in the other part of the city with the guests. You weren't there, though.

There's always a part of me that's back home with my ex-wife and kids. Oh, God. That's going to make me cry. Not like that. I don't think she meant like that, Ethel. Sorry, sorry. You were late. You didn't show up for several, I don't know, minutes or something.

I believe I was trapped in a different dream, I suppose, or nightmare. of dreams you've had, past dreams that you've had that have reappeared as motifs or symbolism in your travels in the Dreamlands. I had a dream once. I had a dream of living a quiet life, a life of quiet desperation with my family, as I called it then. I don't think that's what she means. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Go on.

No, I have not. I had dreams, nightmares even, I couldn't explain before we left on this excursion on the boat. When we began visiting the dreamlands, I never saw crossover between the things I'd seen before

and the new places we'd gone. This new place you went to. Can you talk about it? It may be relevant to our journey. I don't think that it is. It's a dream I've had many times. It's a personal dream. I think I was distracted when we were doing the ritual. I think I made a mistake.

I don't think it was supposed to happen. But I apologize for my emotional outburst. I feel very affected by it. I'm sorry. I'll do better. I'll focus better. No, sorry. I'll do better. I'll focus better. No, no. It's only natural.

I mean, this is quite a harrowing sort of thing we do. And we are dealing with powers well beyond any of our understanding. It's quite possible that it was chosen for you to go to this place once again and see what you did not want to see. Suki raises an interesting question, though, in all seriousness. So she went to the wrong place this time. Last time we all went to the wrong place. We ended up on that ship.

Is this process stable? Are we getting worse at it? I think I can say confidently the process is not entirely stable it is rather erratic and chaotic not entirely stable i'm glad you're here to tell us these things what is that professor in the back drive okay right it's like sometimes I don't understand human behavior I'm only trying to do my job but this is all this emotional connection to this other dream

that is all you feel the Stardust Argus cured you of any lingering mental effects that occurred from your death in the dream it is unrelated to that. Yes, it's entirely unrelated. This is... I just hadn't thought about it in a very long time.

Sorry. I've never talked to anybody about it. We're a pretty open group. You should feel free to bring any of this to any of this to any of us at any time no absolutely we should all feel free to raise any of these we should we should feel open and

safe this is a safe space to discuss our emotions and I've been telling Werner about my dreams for some time now really yes I don't know if he's always there or paying attention or awake but I'm doing it yeah he Yes. I don't know if he's always there or paying attention or awake, but I'm doing it. Yeah, he's not. He doesn't actually speak a lot of English, so

it may be sort of pointless. It must be therapeutic for you, though, Ethel. Comfort, yeah, that's great. Indeed. If we may, I think we have urgent business to attend to. We perhaps have all of our trinkets that we're going to get,

and we must at once seek an audience with the mad poet. Of course. Exciting. Suki, lock it up! She's crying. She's just crying. She's crying. I was like, no, this is a safe space. She's just crying. She's crying. I was like, no, this is a safe space.

Shut up. Shut up. She says, turn it off. Like a light switch. I'll give you something to cry about. This is a safe space. She's so good. Perhaps we could talk about it at a later time.

But Atkiss is right. This is a safe space. Don't pollute it with your nightmares. Safe space. Don't go sharing your shit with everyone and bring this down. We have enough baggage. I would love to hear the baggage and the nightmares. Yeah, I have baggage I'd like to share as well.

I need variety in my baggage. I need variety in my baggage. I need variety in my baggage. Fair enough. It's a lot of the same baggage with Ethel. What, are you supposed to change bags every time you get to a new airport? Yeah, it's not so much baggage as one bag. It's just one bag that you keep carrying

around and showing us. Sometimes, before I go to bed, I make a little wish, prayer, whatever, to the Baba Yaga, and I just hope that you experience a different traumatic event at some point. I mean, I was just eaten alive. Okay. Limb by limb. That's a start. And then told to lock it up as soon as I woke up.

She's listening. So you intimidate... Question about this mad poet fella. Oh, yeah. Never met him. Sounds a little suspicious. Should I be ready to kill him at a moment's notice?

I don't think you'll be able to, Ethel. I think for the first time you're going to find a foe that is beyond your capacity to destroy with a swing of your little axe. I've also got the hammer. Oh, yes, the hammer as well. No, the mad poet is an enigma to us all, but to my knowledge, it's not an enemy we can possibly fight. I think I understand. We're supposed to go and make a

safe space for him, just like we did with Suki. So we're gonna arrive and say, it is okay, tell us your feelings. I think presenting these gifts will prove that it is indeed a safe space to share with us the knowledge that we need to find out

who Aldo and I really are. Can we share knowledge with him? Like, for example, if I wanted to tell him about the time my dad took me to the county fair. I'm sure that, I don't know, Ethel, just ask him yourself when we get there. Where's the boat? Should we be getting back? Yes, I said that several minutes ago. Just reiterating.

Boat! We're just sitting in the woods alone. The augers are gone. The augers are long gone. They tried to say goodbye, but we were talking too much. Anyone seen the augers? All of a sudden, a whole crew of freaking panthers starts surrounding us. Didn't they always money you uh no

this is all a walk and talk as you're berating suki and uh you you eventually get back to camp and the plan was to spend the evening uh there and then set out in the morning and uh skywin is pretty uh it's pretty clear like we're not staying here for a week it's like you can spend the night might be good for the crew to have a little time uh off the ship um but we're leaving first thing in the morning and even though you had this whole adventure in the dreamlands no time passed here uh in the uh real world so it's still nighttime, and it's even later by the time you get back. But there's still a couple people still hanging around. Did you ever play Red Dead Redemption 2, anyone?

Yeah, of course. Fuck yeah. I just didn't do it. I have it on my computer, and at some point in 20 or 30 years, when I have a free moment and an empty nest, I would love to play it. It'll still be a good game. Yeah, it will.

There's so much to love about that game, but you would sometimes have the community would move to a different area, your little community, and then sometimes you would show up there and there'd be a party going on. It was like a legit party where everybody was drinking and getting out of control

and you could drink and overdo it and like stumble around, talk to everybody and learn new things about them. Maybe open up some side quests. But eventually, like in real time, the party would like start to die down. And then you'd just be walking around. There'd be like three or four people still up, like still drinking. Maybe you could play cards. It was just unbelievable how realistic it was. And so that's what I'm thinking of when you get back.

Like maybe when you left, it was like, jump, jump, jump, da-da-da, jump, jump, jump, da-da-da. And now it's just like a couple of their people. And the senator is there, right? Like this is where we're leaving him. Yes. And his entourage. Yes, and his entourage.

Okay. Yeah, so you're leaving him and he is passed out with his people. You see, most people are asleep, but there's still a couple of the augers up, and even some of Skywind's crew. In fact, most of Skywind's crew, they needed a night like this. Yeah. Even though they have not aided you in battle at all, they are exhausted from their journey. It's been 60 plus days, right?

Didn't I say 64? Oh, definitely over 60, yeah. So this is real nice and even OJ's having a good time. And you go to sleep. Wake up the next day crack a dawn and you make your way

you say your goodbyes Senator once again tells you make sure you go to the temple of Abadar or whatever he said and you'll get paid and then the dockmaster shall have something waiting for Skywin as well so he again thanks you so much for saving his life, for taking a chance on him, the Stardust Augurs.

They're a little weird. They were weird last night. They're even weird now on their goodbyes. It's not like a big, oh, it's great to meet you. Thanks for coming. They're just more like they're a little wary of you because you've crossed over. And that's something that even though they've dedicated their life to dreams and to Desna, they've never crossed over because they know the dangers in that. And so I think there's a bit of a fear there, a little apprehension that maybe you're touched now.

By what? So by the dreamlands. The taint. The dreamlands, the taint. Yes, you've had this impression that's been left upon you from your time there and from your journeys there. And even though you've been cured of the madnesses that you received upon death, there's this lingering stain

that they, I think that's the kind of vibe they're giving off. It's like, well, good luck in your journeys, be it here or in the realms beyond. You have a friend in the Stardust Ogres

and they all just kind of meld back into the trees. You go back to the ship. Does anyone else feel like they're kind of weird? I mean, I know we're kind of weird, but they're kind of weird. Oh, I quite like them. Unsurprising, detached. They live somewhere in between.

Not quite the Dreamlands, not quite this world. They can't decide where to just go. So yes, it does not surprise me that they are strange But they certainly do not remain rooted in any world I mean, you could say the same about us, couldn't you? Yes, but I for one want to remain rooted in this world I only go there to seek answers to how I can become more rooted here I have no desire to go to the dream answers to how I can become more rooted here. Have you guys ever considered... I have no desire to go to the dreamlands beyond what I have to.

It's actually an interesting question. You, Aldo, do you have a desire to go to these places when you don't have to? I think we're a bit odd, too, but I think we're cooler than they are, just generally. You are cooler, not by much, but you are, for sure. No, I mean, they're, like, sort of a bit off-putting, but I think we're just, like, just generally. You are cooler, not by much, but you are for sure. No, I mean, they're like sort of a bit off-putting, but I think we're just like generally cooler. No offense, Atticus, but you're lying to yourself if you tell yourself that you have no interest

in exploring the Dreamlands after having visited. Right. It is just so utterly, strangely dangerous at all times. I don't know how there is a civilization there at all. In any place we go, there is no dream where people are happy. There is no dream where there is prosperous. Everything is destroyed. Isn't there a nice place?

Isn't there nice dreams? Are there any nice dreams in these dream worlds? I think that the bad nightmare follow your group around i think i don't know why but i was having a fine time trying to figure out how to do my thing before i met you guys and then suddenly i saw a cthulian mythos beast um and every time i go in there we're fighting and yeah oh maybe it's us like maybe we, we're fighting. And, yeah. Maybe it's us. Maybe we're drawing it onto ourselves. It's like what they say about being in a room,

and if you can't find the person who smells, the person who smells is probably you, and you should look inward. Yes, well, I think it's a little bit more logical than that. We are after these powerful artifacts. We seek to find things that bring great danger, or

of great power, and thus bring great danger. Where were you? Eris? You just dreams of just beaches and palm trees? Well, no, that's not typically what... I don't think children dream of beaches and palm trees.

I was trying to find, like, I don't know, like a fair or, like, ice cream truck, but then I ended up at that, like, weird party. I stayed there for a while because, you know, girls got to have some fun. And then... But no children. Fighting happened. No, I never ended up figuring that out. But no children.

Fighting happened. No, I never ended up figuring that out. I mean, chin up. We'll find you some children to victimize one of these days. Well, luckily, Suki's crying again. I kind of figured out with the... I'm actually not supposed to be eating the kids. I'm just supposed to be taking in their souls and collecting them. Similar to she holds up the poppet. She doesn't explain be, um, like taking their souls and collecting them similar to,

and she holds up the poppet. She doesn't like explain further. She's like similar to, and she goes, well, luckily also, I'm not sure if, if egg dies in the dreamland,

if he dies, they die here or not, but I don't need another soul right now. So we're good. Eris, I have a this to thank you again for that reaching out and the

saving of my life after Suki saved my life I was in a dark place and I heard your voice and I just felt this great overwhelming instinct to go towards that voice just want to thank you for that.

It was, you didn't need to do it. So I appreciate it. Oh, well, you're welcome. Anytime. Link. Although in retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have done that because then you were torn apart while conscious. That did happen. And I wasn't at the, I wasn't until just now

thinking about it that way, but. It was a thought that counts. And what thought was it? We really need another person to help us out right now and you were down. We need another person?

We? Yeah, yeah. She's like turning a little red. We need. person. We? Yeah. Yeah. She's like turning a little red. We need. She puts her foot up. What about we need? All of us.

What about you need? What about you need? I mean, you all didn't need any more help? You were concerned that your friend was on the ground, surrounded by a ring of fire? I put him in a ring of fire. I assumed he was fine. I just love

this idea that we all know that Aeris has a crush on Ethel, and she won't just admit it. It's amazing. I don't know what you're talking about. She turns away. I whisper to Aldo, it's so romantic. I mean,

yeah. In a certain way. It's so romantic. I mean, yeah. In a certain way. Yeah. It's sort of cute, yeah. We have business to attend to. Let's go. Back to the boat. As you approach, they go, people!

People! And the crew, even though they went to bed after you, they were up and back to the ship before you and they see you coming and they're just yelling, people! Oh, it's just our friends! And, uh... That's the watch. People!

People! It's just our friends! And, uh, they send out a little rowboat and bring you back. And you're back on the ship. And it's daytime. Now, you have successfully retrieved six out of the seven items that you know that Liles was after.

Now, you don't know if Liles got all of them. You don't know if Los got all of them. You don't know if Laos got any of them. But you know that in searching his books that you took from Iris Hill, he was after these things. He did his research, and he knew that, like, if he was going to go speak to the mad poet to get some sort of knowledge, he needed to present these gifts. And so he was in search of these gifts.

And you know that he spoke to the mad poet you have six of the seven when you met the yellow king uh when you first took your trip to the dreamlands and and found yourselves at the abandoned uh caravanserai or caravanseri depending on what coast you're from. Did we determine that's a coastal thing, or is that just smart people and dumb people? If you go to Google and you say, click pronounce, it says Caravanserai. Really?

Yes, I know. It's crazy. Both of them sound weird. I'll just say I've only ever seen the word ending in a Y. Yours ends in like AI, right? Yeah, AI. That's what word ending in a Y. Yours ends in like AI, right? Yeah, AI. And that's what it says in the book. But anyways, when you spoke to the Yellow King,

who was like a figment of Laos that split off and was left behind in the Dreamlands, he said, find these gifts, and when you find them, come back here, and I will lead you to the Mad Poe. Right. So when you are ready, be it tonight, tomorrow night, any night, you have to do these rituals during nighttime. You can take the Dreamland Excursion ritual again and go back to the Caravan Sarai to speak with the Yellow King. Is this just... Did we ever hear anything about a Yellow King before that guy?

Or did we only ever hear about Carcosa? Well, you know that the cult that was operating in Thrushmoor, they were cultists of Hastur. And so you know that one of the names Hastur goes by is the King in Yellow. Now, whether that's tied into you know,

this fragment of Lyle's calling himself the Yellow King, it does seem a little convenient. So it's just he is a figment of the king in yellow, and we're bringing him all this shit, and he's just going to take our souls. You don't think he's a figment of the king in yellow. You believe he is a piece of louse.

Troy. A piece of louse. He was draped in yellow, and he says, I am the yellow king. So he took louse's soul, and now he's going to take ours? Yeah. There's a great danger involved period because you don't know what the hell you're getting into you're bringing gifts to a figment i just don't want to be like i just want to be that stupid if there is a legitimate

chance in front of the character of atticus that he could like suss something out here but there really is this is the only path forward in the adventure. There's no other path forward. We have to go to the sky. We could just go home, take our gold, and maybe you want to go in on it with me on a certain business. Maybe just

an idea, dollhouse, furniture. Yeah, that sounds great. As I said, there's no other path forward in the adventure. Sure, we could choose to stop adventuring and open up a doll shop. It's just dolls, right? Dollhouse furniture. Dollhouse furniture, and then Eris can make your dolls.

I'll make the dolls. It'll be so cute. It'll be a joint business. Do you need the children's souls to make your dolls, or can you just make the dolls? I can charge extra for the ones with souls in them. She says brightly. And she smiles like real big, just like I am right now. Ethel sees the business opportunity.

He does worship Avatar, but he's like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Just to refresh your memory, because it's been a while, the way that he described himself is that he believes himself to be a fully formed entity, while at the same time also a piece of the being known as Laos. But why? I'm sure we asked him at the time. How did he split off?

Was it an event that occurred right after he met the mad poet, that Laos met the mad poet? There was a splitting, a fracturing of his person, of his consciousness? Or was it before that? Yeah, he believes that Laos learned some great truths from the mad poet. And the truths were so mind-shattering, a mind was shattered. Okay. And the yellow king was left behind. Very cool.

Is this what they refer to as going clear? Yes. Yes. They checked his Thedon levels. OT level. Now, here's the thing. For Atticus, it would be right for you to be apprehensive because you've studied this sort of eldritch, these eldritch tomes, and so you hear Yolo King, and you're like, wait a minute,

this is what he does. It's trickery. I'm being beguiled. And it would be a great trick. So there is a fear there, but like you said, there's really no other option. There is no other option, and I think Atticus has to be confident in the strength of his own mind.

He just has to have confidence in that and believe that he might get duped, but he has to believe he can stand toe to toe with the mental prowess of whatever this is and fight through it. He has to believe that. Otherwise, what's the point? Wait, but Suki chimes in as we're talking about this and she says why can't we trick the trickster why not dupe the dupes can we create fake objects can we can we trick him in some way do we have to just walk up hands open yeah anikis didn't you make an entire giant red-footed beast?

Couldn't you just fake the last item? It was brilliant when you did it in the battle. Yes, but no. The illusions are meant for creatures without perceptive minds. For creatures that aren't able to see through such things. My powers are quite limited in the grand scheme. I feel that I could trick a golem, yes, but I don't think I could trick a fracturing of Lao's mind who has already experienced the mad poet.

In other words, he probably has an incredibly high will save. But no, but yeah, for real, it's just just like those magics may seem very powerful but you would easily see through them with even a modicum of mental prowess so no i wouldn't trust illusions to go up against this yellow king or even louse But perhaps if it is not such a, you know, if it is, if we are not being fooled to the extent that we will be utterly destroyed, then we will learn from it. And I could get stronger. And I could learn the very magics that they use. And that will put us in a position to get the things we really want. Which are? Well, for for one your wife back what did

you say exactly back like again. Say it again. So while you decide if you want to do it tonight or if you want to just take some time, because the journey to Casimir is still going to be a while, let's just take a quick break. Now I need your answer. I want to take a little bit of time. I want to do it tonight. I'm utterly exhausted, and I'd like to read a little more of this Yellow King.

You told me I could get my wife back. Well, it's not going to happen overnight. If you think the solution is that easy, then you really have lost her. It will require a great deal of discipline, Ethel. You can see this has pierced a lot of Ethel's armor, and he's just like... Suki says, Atticus, I'd like to assist you in any way I can. And she takes out a box that she has.

She opens it up and she pulls out like a big piece of quartz and a piece of amethyst and like bells. And she ties them around her ankles. And she burns some sage and puts it into a little like clay pot. That smells awful. She burns some sage and puts it into a little clay pot. That smells awful. She sits down and starts meditating nearby and stops talking to you. Right.

Perhaps he's waving a hand in front of you. Perhaps you'll... I'll just keep talking and maybe something will get through. And he does want your help. Because he knows he can't do it alone. perhaps you'll, I'll just keep talking and maybe something will get through. And, um, he's just gonna, and he does want your help and he wants, cause he knows he can't do it alone. And he also is, um,

ever since our talk on the boat, he's much more interested in your, uh, contributions now that he trusts a little bit more like your reason for being here. And so, yeah, he'll read from the books and read about this yellow King out loud.

See if anything, you catch anything he misses between the lines as it were and troy i'm i know i'm being silly with the meditation she is really doing that though but uh using my um dream lore skills my dream or knowledge and my occultism knowledge i'd like to like assist atticus with the research. Okay. Um, all right. So let's, let's do some roles here. Okay. I'm going to do an occultism role.

Um, and I feel like we really have all the knowledge we're going to get. I'm just going to see if there's anything between the lines that could say, warn us of a, of a trap, you know, of a mental trap of anything that is, is,

doesn't add up. Or weaknesses. Outside of the way that everything literally doesn't add up when it comes to occultism. But it's something just a little bit different. Spells to prepare, weaknesses. Yeah, yeah, stuff like that. That would be great. And Suki, do you have to roll to aid or is this a spell that you're casting?

No, I mean, I can roll to aid. We'll make it simple. I bet I have a cool spell, but I didn't look. But no, for the dream lore thing that you're doing, just roll dream lore to aid. My occultism is better than my dream lore. Then roll occultism. That's great.

Your role playing was dream lore, though. Okay, I'll just roll my dream lore. Crush it. Come on, natural 20. Oh, crack die. A little bit. crush it come on natural 20 oh crack die well that's an 11 but plus 13 that's an eight so plus one yeah to this john uh is it a name isn't it one of those things it's like dc20 is the norm and it's otherwise it's gm fiat yeah. So it might be an 8. Okay. Well, that was a 23.

Yeah, so it would be above. Oh, it was a 23. I'm sorry. I thought it was a 13. Okay. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah, 23.

All right. So I'm going to take a plus 1. Here we go. There you go. That's a 32. Oh, very good. That's pretty damn good. That's pretty damn good.

So you do see in a lot of the books that Lyle's had in his chest that you found in his room, it's a lot of the books that you were into back in the day. Maybe there's even some crossover with some books. If you didn't read them yourself, you heard of them being cited, and now you've got like the actual copies of these books that you always uh had hoped to get you think about that who was that guy whose library you went into to steal one of his books baron hess baron hess like hess he had the the dark the uh not the chain of knights that became the new one but the other book that atticus first went down the tapestry of madness the tapestry that Atticus first went down the start. Tapestry of Madness. The Tapestry of Madness.

He had that in his safe. And Atticus went to steal it to improve the quality of his illusions. He didn't care if it was going to be a dark way to go about doing it. But he needed to sell more tickets to his

magic show. And don't forget forget somebody died that night like a servant in the house I did forget that was killed that's a very good show yeah someone did die so you've got access to these books now

and you see that Lyle's he's obviously interested in dreams and that the majority of this research was to sort of unlock the excursion ritual but there's also just a lot of talk of beings and powers from beyond and so you think as you flash back to remembering your conversation with the Yellow King

he was wearing, tattered curtains from the abandoned Caravanserai that just happened to be yellowed from time. It's like, I'm the Yellow King. I'm the Yellow King. You wonder if he is a fragment of Lao's imagination or Lao's mind, that maybe Lao's sort of interest in things like perhaps the king in yellow gave him the idea to even call himself the yellow king. Or maybe it's just he found a yellow curtain and wanted to be the yellow king. If he had found a red curtain, maybe he would have been the red king. He certainly was not an overwhelming presence.

Yeah, that's the thing that's always bothered me, is that I feel like it would have made more of an impression on us if he had been the actual... I don't think we could have handled it. So, yeah, it seems likely that this is some kind of coping mechanism that another that this guy has i'm trying to my mom i'm like working so hard in my brain to there's something not about this mystery but there's something about this that's familiar in like in in like entertainment or media or something there's like there's something about

like mash like you study something i'm just saying you study so you study something so much and then like yeah it's like part of you part of you becomes that thing uh anyway it's interesting yeah it's mother night are you thinking of mother night no there's the moral of mother night what's that? It's, um, he's, he calls it out in like a preface.

He's like, he doesn't think all stories have a moral, but this one does. And the moral is, uh, be careful what you pretend to be because you might become what you pretend to be. Yeah.

Yeah. Interesting. Uh, yeah, that's great. Um, so yeah, right along those lines,

but okay. he does feel pretty confident that we are dealing with a figment of uh or a fracturing of louse's mind but to me what he wants to do beyond just getting to the mad poet which is obviously the most important thing in finding louse is like maybe given a little bit more time in this knowledge and all this experience in the dreamlands, maybe Atticus can mine this fragment a little better to get it more into Lau's actual mind, you know, to really get a sense of what his objective is. Because we know he wanted to do this ritual, but why? Right? We don't really know the why. Do we? do this ritual but why right we don't really know the why do we was that answered at the end of book two or why he wanted to do the dreamlands excursion ritual yeah like what is he seeking exactly seeking

an audience with the mad poet because there was knowledge that he needed that only a mind such as the right but for what what did he want the knowledge for that you don't know exactly so he wants to try to mine this yellow king a little bit to see if he can get that okay shall we dance bump bump bump yes so maybe you take a night to really dig into these books it's not

something you'll be like I found it and then the next night so you know you've been two days away the stardust augers and it doesn't take long before the crew is And then the next night, so now you've been two days away from the Stardust Augers, and it doesn't take long before the crew is kind of bummed out again. But at least it's not as bad. Morale's down. Yeah, morale's a little down.

It was a cold and rainy day today, so people have to be on deck for hours on end. Hey, feeling that, could Atticus, could Atticus do a show? I don't think, I think in two months Atticus has been so focused on his own shit that he hasn't ever done a show for this crew.

Do it, do it, do it, do it. And I don't think they've really seen his illusions in action before. So, I imagine you approach Skywind and she's like, What, uh, what has it involved?

You're like, you saw a woman in half? If you like, I could, of course. You could do that. I don't want to spoil the show, but I've done many tricks in my time and I've learned more even since I stopped entertaining. It's nothing that would harm the boat.

They are all illusions. They're illusions. It's not witchcraft. You're not going to be calling down some dark god to split the boat in two. There is no divine magic here. There is no transmutation. There is no divination. I won't be looking into your minds or reading your secret thoughts.

It is simply illusions. Harmless. And do you have an assistant from one of your friends there? Of course. And then he leaves that conversation and he goes to Eris.

Eris is like listening off to the side. Eris is like off to the go to Suki, but Eris is off to the side. Suki is doing something weird. Suki's holding a small seed. Actually, Suki separately, and we don't have to play it out, she's setting up her verdant weapon, which is a small seed, and she takes ten minutes. And basically, it's actually super dope.

She can make a weapon out of this seed. She makes a whip out of it and as an action during combat, a single action she can turn the seed into the full-sized weapon and turn it back into a seed. So it's like a concealed weapon. I can add talismans and runes to it later but she takes ten minutes doing that.

So she's busy doing that and she's not helping you, Atticus. So he'll go to Eris and he's like, I need an assistant for my show. You do? Would you be willing? Yes. Okay. You need to do exactly as I say. Okay.

Okay, no surprises. Okay. Wear a high collar. High collar? My cloak has a high collar. You can't see my mouth, my other mouth all the time. You can't see my mouth, my other mouth all the time. You can't see my other mouth all the time.

Just to raise their spirits a bit. I can get rather droll working on a ship day in and day out, especially in the rain and the muck. Should I bring egg? I made them a pair of new red shoes. Yes, sure. Absolutely. There is a precedent for this

We had a comedian on board once Really? Yes, it didn't go well We killed him But good luck We'll be fine, Eris We'll be fine Like to see you try

Oh, please Are you kidding me? I entertained the Baron Hess and his court and entourage I was talking about them killing us if we bomb up there. We won't bomb. They are not prepared. Which Baroness did you entertain? Baron Hess, Ethel.

Ethel. Baroness. I wouldn't expect you to understand. The aristocratic life, Ethel, is very different from what you do in your day-to-day. Oh, so you're just saying I'm just someone who just strides and strikes and that's it. I hear you. I hear you. Sorry.

Sorry to be engaged with your art. And he just storms off. Eris, just let him go. He needs a moment. Me? I didn't piss him off. You got to really, like, he's very sensitive. No, you got him all worked up talking about his wife.

So now he thinks, well, the more worked up he gets, the better he'll be in a fight. So this is good. I hope so. They set up a little makeshift stage at the bow of the boat. They hang like an old sail and kind of fashion it in the front so there's a curtain and the crew gathers around along with the rest of you and Dinky

Ethel sits in the front row like this like Bernie Sanders at the inauguration front row center directly in front of you staring up and Skywin comes backstage and says Dinky would like

to warm up the crowd by all means and so she goes ladies and gentlemen Dinky first stumble and Dinky comes out hello how's it going everybody hello how are you and he points at Ethel.

Where are you from, sir? Ethel just stares daggers. Are you from around here, sir? Are you married? Oh, boy. Do you have a wife? You ever been loved sir a single tear says trickle the eye on Ethel's face the tough crowd give

it up for Atticus while he's doing his crowd work right classic yeah Atticus just comes out and well actually you say give it up for Atticus Grimm and then this is like he doesn't step up on stage there's nobody there Cruz like grumble grumble girl go and then you just hear yeah and you just hear this like voice

from the back of the room that's like ladies and gentlemen this is my monstrous voice and he's just casting ghost sound room that's like ladies and gentlemen like this like monstrous voice and he's just casting ghost sound and it's like all the way from husselov atticus grim and he uh comes up on stage uh to obvious huge fanfare and uh goes through a series of spells starting with prestidigitation which he prepared, a little bit of ghost sound here and there, and then slowly working up the line to, vroom, all of a sudden, he's Dinky Fustumble. And he's just like, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

He walks up to Dinky and just, you know, it's like, hey, hey, that's Atticus. And he says that the other Dinky's Atticus and then gets them all fired up. Which one's real? You have to decide all that kind of shit. He. I mean, he's got a ton of them, but I think. How does he close out the show? I think he's going to take a risk.

I think he's going to take a risk. Because I think there's no true illusionist show that could end, that could stay with people forever if there isn't a little bit of fear. And he finishes the show with something no one's ever seen him do and something that he has completely drawn

and learned through his experiences of that he's learned so far on this adventure and he begins an incantation and begins summoning up

through the bottom of the deck a yellow mist. A mist starts to rise around everyone. And he's just like, you know, holding his hands up and he opens up his mouth

and this yellow mist starts to come out of his mouth. This is what everybody sees and then everybody on deck that is watching him feels as if the deck is giving way and they are being pulled down beneath the sea and he's casting oneric mire which is like from the like the onerogens like it's that exact oh no way spell yeah and uh it it makes you feel as if you are being pulled down into the earth and basically uh you make a will save and on a failed save you feel like you are being sucked down into the ground and uh and you get a minus 10 to your speeds you know it's not it's

not like phantasmal killer it's not gonna like make somebody go crazy but it's just like and on a critical fail you uh you like you're immobilized and you're just like feel like you're frozen into the deck and like you can't move basically um ethyl world a natural five oh boy that might actually be a crit fumble what's your will save uh plus 14 so it's a 19 19 okay that is not a critical fail but yeah you feel like you've been like slowed down like there's water coming up through the deck and you're being pulled down into it and an heiress has already been told about this and it's like you know oh it's only an illusion you know don't panic. But like, it feels as if he is like changing the very composition of the boat to everybody on there, unless people critically succeed.

That's the only way they don't believe it at all. I would think most of the crew would fail, including Skywin. And, you know, Ethel's already failed. So there's this just this mist rising and it's causing a bit of a commotion. What was an otherwise enjoyable show now starts to cause a little bit of panic. But people are also frozen by this mist. And you're watching this, I'm assuming with the same face that you're watching this right now, there's a glee in this madness that's happening. But you see the mist rising, and as it does, everyone that was around you starts to become obscured. And so what starts out as maybe glee at your success takes on a very different feeling for you because you lose everyone in this, except for a single figure in the back. And at first it looks like a person, but then you realize that's too big to be a person. And not only is it too big, the shape isn't right as well.

And you see this sort of oblong shaped being. Oh no. oblong shaped being. Oh no. With a long neck, several long necks with little heads on the end and what looks like claws

for hands sticking out. And you just hear a voice in your head that you assume is coming from this being. And it says, Hello, James.

Oh, God. He's got chills. Oh, my God. And he's just like... And he's like, he knows he's in front of a whole audience. And he's just trying to hold it together. Eris is side side mouthing you

being like hey is this part of your thing does she see do you see and he's his eyes cast down do you see a creature in the back large are you up long in shape she's like doing dark tendrils with your yellow thing and she's like are you making the dark figure in the back? Are you not? Not intentionally. Not intentionally. Remember what Suki said. It's happening to me. It's happening to me.

Bring it back down now. We're having fun. She's still trying to manage the crowd. Bring it back down. He looks back up at it. James is gone. James is gone. James is gone. I believe it's time to come

home soon. Starts to like coalesce back into the mist. Oh my god. And this like rocks Atticus. But like, he is a trained performer. He knows how to keep it together on stage. Never let him see a sweat.

Never let him see a sweat. He dispels the Oneric Mire and the mists go away and everyone realizes they were just sitting there the whole time. There was never an issue with the deck or the water or their inability to move around or being stuck to the deck or anything like that. Ethel enraged buries his hatchet and atticus is just i told you not to sign me there's probably just they're like looking at each other and he just he takes a bow and we just zoom in on his face you know as he's bowing down and it is just like

sweat pouring through his matted fur on his face and his eyes blinking over and over again his pupils wide and he he looks back up again and bows again and then just like walks off stage head down into the river and just jumps into the river and takes the biggest inhale he can possibly imagine. A little snidey show, someone doesn't die. He walks out of this area right here, let's say that he's just to the side of one of those cabins.

How do you get that so quickly? How did you do It's a Wonderful Life, the dance scene, in two seconds? Hey, we must be good. We must be pretty good. We must be pretty good. I love this idea because I can picture you, like, buckling forward, and we've got, like, a camera shot from the ground up looking at you, like, covered in sweat.

Suki walks out. You hear, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink. She's wearing bells on her ankles and wrists she's like kind of like swirling her dress and she sees Eris and she goes how'd the show go sorry I missed it he's leaning on like the wall of the of the cabin and Eris is back

there with him and he's like kind of hyperventilating and he grabs at the high collar that was on his neck and he unbuttons like two buttons and he opens up his collar a little bit. And he looks at Suki and you see his eyes like shaking and like tears rising

in them like just like you were earlier. And he's like It happened. What you said. My nightmare from before these times, I saw it. I saw a horrible thing I had done. Did you,

did you do something to someone? Is that what you saw? And Suki just like runs up and puts her arm around Atticus and just like gives him a hug. And like her hair is just like nestling into you and she just says, Whatever you saw, it's not,

it's not real. It's in the past right and he's like and he's there's tears starting to stream down his face because he's coming sort of face to face a little bit more in this comforting moment with Suki nobody ever touches him nobody ever hugs him

he's a rat and he just he starts to get very emotional thinking about what he did like he attempted to steal the life of his friend because he just was so that his desire for success was so great that he could not accept failure and he felt that the only way to do it was in the body of his friend, who wasn't a rat, who could fit in with all these people. And he did. He performed this ritual that was, you know,

he never felt guilty about it, really, until this moment. And, yeah, the tears start rolling down. And he's not saying anything. But you can tell, but he's embracing you pretty hard. And Suki says, and she's like crying a little bit too, and she says, we've all made mistakes.

We've all made mistakes. We've all made mistakes. And we can be sorry. But I don't know if it changes anything. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for you. He pulls back and starts to rebutton his collar. No, you're right right what's done is done it doesn't change anything

the path forward is clear and for what it's worth I'm sorry for whatever happened to you as well and uh he'll just walk away I think he needs some uh alone time um really to get himself right which is like stopping this sort of like guilty feeling about this remembering how run down he felt in that time and how you know james while he was a friend was also completely unsympathetic about his real situation and,

um, gets his mind back on course that he, the whole reason he set out on this is because he's, he's meant to defy all of the limits that were put on him by other people. And, uh, he's got to do it, I guess by doing some dark fucking magic.

So, so, uh, he's going to have to go visit this yellow king. Does the morale raise on the boat at all? That's what they needed. Do they like the show? Ethel finds Eris sometime after the show,

and he's like, hey, I just want to say you were really good up there. Thank you. It was a lot of fun being scary, but people like it. You know? Yeah, yeah. I know you were good at that. Seems like that's something you do.

Thank you. I do try. Thanks. I'm going to go over there now. Okay. See you later. Yeah. We fade from that awkward little moment. Ethel is so packed with awkward moments.

We fade from that awkward little moment to all of you standing in a circle below deck on a different evening, going through the excursion ritual, passing the staircase from hand to hand, and as always, finishing with Aldo. He's just holding this giant staircase, dropping it onto the floor,

and you begin walking down one by one, Suki probably apprehensively wondering if you'll just go straight where you're supposed to go this time or have another detour. Perhaps even Atticus wondering what or who you'll see on the other side. And as you start to go down the steps, the wood begins to have little grains of sand on it. You can feel the sand underneath your feet until the sand covers the stairs completely,

and you are on the desert floor. But unlike the first time, you don't feel that oppressive heat that made you have to head directly for the caravanserai for fear of, you know, taking damage from being in the heat. There is no heat this time. In fact, as you arrive at this forgotten desert outpost once more, it's now nighttime when you arrive, not day. Not day. You look up and the moon here in the dreamlands looms large and close overhead. Dimly illuminating the sand beneath your feet and the abandoned caravanserai ahead.

And as you stand there, looking at this building, the words of Hedrana Ibran ring through your head and she says in an abandoned caravan Sarai which I believe will be quite changed when you return

and we'll see you next week. I don't know about this. Next week is a big week. Holy shit. I thought we could just role play forever and never actually have to do it. We'll do a magic show.

That'll stop the bad things. Do at least a one hour magic show. Oh shit, that was fun. That was fun! Thank you everybody. We'll see you next week. Don't miss it. See you next week. Bye everybody. Thanks for listening to the

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