The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 65 – Citizen Leng

Episode Date: March 7, 2023

The heroes return to the abandoned caravanserai in the Dreamlands to find it much changed. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/pssjVl13Pjc For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that's... That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking

my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca Order up for Rebelsis! You are listening to the Glass Canon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment anywhere you go i'll follow you down any place but those i know Hot. Name that band. Skin. Gin Blossoms.

Name what Gin Blossoms are. Kate. Flowers that grow to make gin. Incorrect. That's right. That's where do you think gin comes from? Right. Sydney, what are Gin Blossoms? They, fuck.

I was going to say. Don't Google. I'm not. I'm not, I'm not. Let me see those hands. I was legitimately going to, going to say what Kate said. I was like,

where gin comes from. I'm going to say gin blossoms are, uh, um, a rude name for a lady's something or other. That's a good guess. What? Things went well with the,

uh, young lady the other night and I saw her gin blossom. Maybe in like the late 19th century it would be something. And I like how the best alternative word you could come up with was something or other. You didn't have one other term in your vocabulary? I can't use the word in the definition, so I had to say something or other. Did you usually say gin blossom? Now, Joe is the first among us who will get them.

I think Skip and I are the only ones that know. Do you know what they are? Is it something to do with the nose? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Is it like alcoholic nose? Alcohol yeah yeah when you how is that all right so if you if you ever see somebody it's got a fucking nose that is like blown out like all the blood vessels in their nose are broken it's from it's from years of alcohol abuse burst capillaries in in the face from wow you can't have any fun you do

too much coke you fuck up your nose you drink too much alcohol you fuck up your nose you just can't all comes down to the schnoz yeah i mean you can see it looks like cauliflower nose for people who've like really got it uh bad i remember this dude i used to work with i didn't see him for like eight years and then we were on a i was hopping a train back from a cold play concert in new jersey and he was on the train track and i was like yeah i'm thinking of myself like holy shit his nose gin blossomed out in the five years and he's a big drinker anywhere you go you know who i always think of and i'm assuming this is whatever a gin blossom nose is. WC fields. Oh, of course.

That's like, if you look it up in a medical text, look up images of WC fields. That is gin blossom nose. Oh, I think of Seymour Cassell, uh, the actor Seymour Cassell.

He kind of, he didn't have it as bad as other, but like whenever I think of a gin blossom nose, I think of the actor. What about like, didn't JP Morgan have it? Or is that, that was something else entirely? JP Morgan?

Yeah, like the original, like the man JP Morgan. I imagine a guy with that amount of money used it on booze and had some gin blossom-y nose. JP Morgan nose. Did you mean JP Morgan nose? K-n-o-w-s

yeah suggested google searches what was up with jp morgan's nose oh wow that is what a mess oh he had rosacea that is yeah that's what they said that is jen blossom nose it like literally they pop and they start to form little like honestly it's like cauliflower ear. Why did they name their band after this? Sounds like they were young and cool. They'd be dead before they got Gin Blossoms. Think about what the name Pearl Jam means.

I don't know. Pearl Jam. Think about it for a second. Is it like a clam? Oh, yeah. Did you know what Stone Temple Pilots' original band name was? No. I can't say it, but it was Shirley Temple's You Know What.

Oh. And their label. Shirley Temple's Tap Shoes. And that was just unacceptable in the UK. No, no, no. You'll never be hot. And they were like, you got to change that. And they were like, we're keeping the letters, STP.

Hold on. Hold on. In an early promotional interview, Vedder said the name Pearl Jam was a reference to his great grandmother, Pearl, who was married to a Native American and had a special recipe for peyote-laced jam. Right. Is that the reference you were making, Skid? No. And that's certainly not what he intended.

That's what the internet told me. Oh, then he better had a sense of humor. I'll tell you that much. I do like when you're in a band and you're giving interviews, you're fully expected to just make shit up. Oh, yeah. What's even the point of being in a band? I like the original.

Their original band name is the best band name, though, ever, which was Mookie Blaylock, one of the best middle-tier NBA players ever. Wait, that was Pearl Jam's original name was Mookie Blaylock? Yeah, their original band name was Mookie. They just called it Mookie Blaylock. They were just like, I don't know if you can name your band after a guy. Like a living guy.

You're starting to get too popular. It's like, all right, we'll name it after something that comes out of a man's thing. We talked about the Beatles a few episodes back. Who knows what the Beatles' original name was? The Bugs. episodes back to who knows what the the beatles original name was the bug the bugs so the quarry men or something yeah that's before that's when it was just the three it was just john and paul and it's pre-ring pete best pete best right is that even pre-george or is george and george and the quarryman i can't? I can't remember. I don't remember.

But every band should have two names. Their pre-star name and then their star name. We were originally Grand Funk Awesome. Grand Funk Awesome. And then we pivoted around episode 20 to the Glass Cannon Podcast. No one people know that. I didn't know that. I was just reading that the Who operated under a different name for a period because they had a different manager.

Right before they became famous, they did a bunch of performances. I can't remember what the name was, but it was like, yeah, that's not it. I want to do it again. That's one of the funny things about Spinal Tap is that scene where they're going through all the band names that they had yes god god that movie such a good movie the who were the detours and then the high numbers before the high numbers i think is the one that they like was it they they had like been they were the who and then they changed to that and then they went back to the i feel like the who maybe it's just because of the awesome stuff that they made.

I must be. But like, I just feel like that is such a cool band name. I don't know. Like, how do you? It's so simple and yet so transcendent. It is. I mean, they're a cool band, but that is a great band name. It really is.

And if they had never happened and I said to you, like, what about a band name? The Who? You'd probably be like, that's weird. It doesn't click. It would need a minute to solidify. Let's workshop that a bit. Yeah. Aren't they going to be confused about who you are?

How about The Detours? Way worse. Way worse. It's kind of like The Who. It's like, who? It's like, where are we? It's a similar concept. It's kind of like the Who It's like Who is like Where are we? It's a similar Similar

Concept It's like the band Yes That's a cool name Yeah Not as cool of a band Good band They got some good tunes Yeah

Not as good as the Who But Yes What are you called? Yes Yes Yes I think Phil Hartman Did a couple of their

Album covers Did he? He drew the album covers? Yeah I'm not sure if it was Yes But he drew a lot of their album covers. Did he drew the album covers? Yeah, I'm not sure if it was yes, but he drew a lot of album covers before he went into comedy. That was his main gig.

Really? Yeah. I want to see who introduced them on Saturday Night Live. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. Which celebrity would that have been? gentlemen a tribe called quest it's my favorite twitter account who is that that's dion warwick

a tribe called quest oh it's exactly what you said it's like such a like such a like a time capsule. Oh, man. Speaking of time capsules, last week is going in mine because I love that app. So when I make my time capsule, I'm taking that recording and I'm shoving it in there with a ton of condoms. I don't worry about my time capsule. I don't get that. It's just like a time capsule filled with condoms and a note that just says, you're welcome. Congratulations on opening the capsule. Have a good time.

Have a good time. You're welcome. Can we just talk about what you think a time capsule is, though? Yeah, I think he's confused about how time capsules work. I know how they work. I know. is though yeah i think he's confused about how time capsules work i know how they work have you ever put anything in a time capsule or been present at a time capsule open i did back in like grade school like sixth grade yeah yeah when were they supposed to be open i think i think they were opened uh like probably 20 years later this was maybe maybe 19, I'm dating myself here, but 1988. Maybe I was in sixth grade.

And yeah, no, but maybe it was 1990 and they were going to open it in 2010. It seemed crazy. 20 years. We'll all be dead by then. We'll all be dead. 10 years after me. Do you see Terminator? That's right.

No, when my parents renovated and they were they were like oh let's have fun and put a time capsule in the wall kate put something in it and i wrote a letter which i don't recall like at all but it was probably and like there's no like open it this it's in the wall of the house that like different people live in now so if it's ever renovated, they're going to find it. And like 10 year old Kate wrote a letter. Don't know what it says. Do you think that like when you die, like, you know, many, many, many years from now, your ghost will go back to haunt that space and be one of those ghosts is just like pointing at the wall.

And so for the family to like open up the wall and they think they're going to be pretty cool because there was already a ghost in that house. So I would have company. I'd have a friend. There you go. I just wonder what you're doing for eternity. Haunting my old house. That would suck though.

Like you're trapped in your old house by a letter you wrote when you were a kid. I mean, I'd do other things too. Every once in a while, I'd come back and be like... like well like if you watch those ghost hunter shows there's always two type of ghosts there's the trickster ghosts that like they act like kids they like to just mess mess with stuff and then there are ghosts that are tied to something there and they're just caught in an endless loop uh i mean why can't everyone just be the trickster ghost that sounds horrible you're just caught in that endless loop. I mean, why can't everyone just be the trickster ghost? That sounds horrible.

You're just caught in that endless loop. When they do the recordings, they only pick up certain frequencies. You'll hear people like, no. No, the stairs. And then other people just knocking over a shoe. I want to be that ghost.

That's a way better ghost. That's much more of a Troila valley ghost i mean like there's no yeah either way that's what troy's ending up as in your most emotionally intense moment for all of eternity or until they tear down this building that's terrible oh Awful. It's awful. Matthew, did you read The Haunting of Hill House? Oh, yes. Do you like it? Yes. It's very good and legitimately

scary. I had problems reading it late at night. The show's good, right? I love Shirley Jackson. Sydney is trying to hide behind something uh you know in another podcast of ours sydney shat on a book that is my favorite book of all time and i said i said i would read haunting the pill house because i didn't enjoy we have always lived in the castle and i just wasn't everybody you know hypes up shirley jackson

and it was the first shirley jackson book And I should have read Haunting of Hill House first, because that's the one I think that everybody really, really loves. And I will read it. I assume you never read it, Troy? No. Yeah, it just feels to me like, I think you'd like it insofar as it feels very real. It feels like a very real haunting of a house. Yeah, my brother-in-law was way hot on the show. He's like, you've got to watch the show.

Well, the show is also beautiful, but it is not the book at all. They just take names and elements of the book and kind of throw it in a blender, and it's actually amazing, and it's beautiful, and one of the best structured seasons of TV ever. But it's a completely different story. Maybe I'll give it a gander. I've just been too busy reading about tonight's app.

Wait, wait. Did you prep this one? Did you prep this one? All we're doing is going to see the yellow guy. Let's go see the yellow guy. The yellow guy. The yellow guy. The king and John.

What could go wrong? the king and John? Oh, my gosh. The guy and John. What could go wrong? The king and John. The king and John. Jaundice. Yeah, have we ever considered that the king in yellow is just a guy with jaundice? He's very sick.

A sick man. And a gin blossom nose. Dude, I have a gin blossom nose. And he has real liver damage and capillary shit on his nose medicine check on him is he just very ill yeah exactly like oh no the the turns out the yellow king isn't some like transcendent mental destroyer of worlds he's just a booze bag it's just it's just a really prime example of cirrhosis bringing her in being like, being like, I'm the king in yellow. I'm going to split mine. By the way, are any

of you AB positive? Because I need a liver. I'm having jaundice flashbacks. Oh, yeah. That was a dark time in my life. We got to get really well acquainted with old man Billy Rubens. Old man Billy Rubens. old man billy rubens

well i think it's it's only fair that i just uh i want to take you to the map here as i explain what you see take it to the map a beautiful Um, now remember the last time you were here, um, this is before we were working with our, our, our newest good buddy, Dave M who was making the map. So I didn't care of caravansary map that we used.

Uh, the first time was the Paizo map. Um, but man, it is much changed. So we needed a fucking pro like Dave to come in because it's not daytime. It is nighttime.

And I said last week that the moon is oppressively close. Like imagine in like sci-fi movies, like when the moon is like crazy close. Oh, just large. And it's providing dim light for an otherwise very dark scene. It is not hot like it was the first time. Can everybody see in dim light? I have dark scene. It is not hot like it was the first time. Can everybody see in dim light? I have dark vision.

What? Ethel has some way of dealing with this, I hope. I have low light vision, but my pilot can see. Yeah, I have low light. Low light you can see in dim. Yes, I have dark vision. No way. Although my familiar can, like Werner can, so I could pull him out of my tumor. Let me ask you this, Aldo.

Didn't you have goggles once, or am I thinking of an old character? No, I did have. That was Nestor did. I also have goggles, but they're alchemist's goggles, so they don't provide that benefit. Okay, so it's dim light for you, which is like DC-5 flat check if you needed to do anything. The rest of you, you can see. I'll describe it for you. You can see by the light of Damoon. And you see, just like

you saw the first time, this building most of it like rubble. It has not been used in a long time and it just opens straight way in. The first time you came here you went in and you

went into a door stage left, your, that I'll ping on the map. Big set of double doors you went through. And then you just kind of made your way around to the back. But you're on this beautiful map now. What do you want to do here? Atticus will step forward. I mean, he has darkvision, so he could see beyond what's blacked out on this map. Yeah.

Give me, with an arrow, how far you can see. With an arrow, how far I can see. I actually don't really know the rules. Yeah, what's darkvision? I can see beyond the edge of the known world of this map, apparently. Yeah, you can see in no light at all, you can see 60 feet. Is that true in 2E as well?

I believe so. I'm assuming it's 60 feet. That's what it was in 1E. That's what he said. Okay, so you see straight ahead past two sets of double doors on the left and the right. I'll use left and right in terms of the map just so we're all speaking the same language. But it would be your right is the doors you went in on, but it's map left here. And then there's another set here.

And then the straight ahead where you can see, and all of you with dim light, so except Aldo can see into the courtyard. You didn't really spend any time in the courtyard. You just looped around the building until you were able to find stairs that led upstairs. And that's where you found the Yellow King. The core rulebook says, a creature with darkvision or greater darkvision can see perfectly well in areas of darkness and dim light,

though such vision is in black and white only. Some forms of magical darkness, such as fourth-level darkness spell, block normal darkvision. A creature with greater darkvision, however, can see even those forms of magical darkness. It does not give a distance. I'm'm an idiot and i i thought we were at the bottom of the map looking up that's why i was like uh it goes up to the border of the map i don't know

i didn't realize you were going down so uh but it's all good um atticus will begin walking forward. Okay, give me a perception check. Ethel. Yeah? Come up here and stand next to me. Don't make me go by myself. Oh, sorry. I was describing the scene to

Aldo. Well, we figured we'd just follow your lead. You've been here before. I am actually, before you do that, Aldo is going to break out a vial of bottled sunlight and shake it like a glow tube. So that will give him 20 feet of bright light and 40 additional feet of lower light. Actually, yeah, that'll raise up the dim light one level.

So that'll be it. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. actually yeah that'll raise up the dim light one level so that'll be yeah thank you so Ethel if you step up with Atticus give me a perception check as well I got a 25 perception I got a 35 perception okay

as you approach the entryway into the Caravanserai, you see on the right a small door that you never entered when you came in. You saw it, but you just went past it and went in those doors

on the left. It's actually a half door. The top half looks like it at one time had a curtain in front of it, but the curtain's been torn down. In fact, last time you were here, there was a curtain hanging there, but you see a curtain laying on the ground. It's like one of those half doors that splits in the middle that's missing the upper half. And there's nothing hanging from the lintel now.

It looks like a small little guard station and the lower half of the door is cracked and as you approach, both of you distinctly hear this growl, this sound of like overlapping growls that are, you know, very dog-like but also something guttural and different. So it's just this like...

And all of a sudden, the lower half of the door bursts open, and you see these hounds emerge. Oh, no. And they look like there's emptiness where the eyes should be, and it looks like they're made of pure shadow. Tindalos. How's a Tindalos roll for initiative?

These things are no joke. They are not. They kill people. Should I just roll over that perception check to be my initiative? Is that how it should work, Troy? Yes, absolutely. So you guys rolled really good perception. I think, Joe, you rolled a 25.

25. What did you have there, Ethel? For the purposes of initiative, it's going to be a 37. Ah, so you get a little boost there. But I like that where you step forward and you use perception and you're

getting right into a fight. Let's roll that into your initiative. So Aldo, Suki, and Eris, what did you roll? I got a 29. I just had to do math in my head. For Eris, we hope.

What about you, Suki? I got a 32. 32 for Suki-do! And Aldo? Aldo got a 23 for you and me. 23 for you and me. Round one. Ethel, you've got the jump.

This isn't like a perfect depiction of these hounds. This is a version of it if it wasn't made of just pure shadow. This is what you see. This is kind of a... You've got to use your imagination. That's not exactly what they look like. Okay. I will do a double slice on the hound directly in front of me.

I was reading somewhere recently, someone mentioned about your weapons having critical... something to do with critical. It might be something you're forgetting or not using. Critical specialization? Yeah. Matthew. For cheese sake.

I want to make sure you're getting the most bang for your buck here, and I just thought about it now that I'm seeing you. I want you to get the most cheese on your burg dog. Come on, man. Listen to Joe. Oh, yeah. Look, with the hammer, the target would be knocked prone. That's what it is.

So just keep that in mind. I also, I made a mistake. I didn't make a mistake. I just didn't have a. Cheated. No, it was the other way around. I nerfed myself. So, like, you can shove with the hammer.

Like, I was shoving, whenever I was shoving people, I was shoving with my hand. I actually can shove with the hammer itself. Just remember that the shove has the attack trait, so it uses the map. It does multiple attack penalties. I am going to double slice the hound directly in front of me.

And just so I keep myself honest, the orange die is going to be my hatchet. The hounds of winter. Okay, so I keep myself honest, the orange die is going to be my hatchet. The hounds of winter. Okay, for the warhammer, that is going to be a 33 to hit. That is a critical hit. Nice!

And the hatchet is going to be a 36 to hit. Oh, bad. So that's two criticals. Two criticals. So it's double crit. So it's double damage for both. Or was it a natural 20? We won't use the beloved fan criticals.

But you did the same dog, right? Yes. Holy shit. Let's do the Warhammer first. Ethel's back. I don't care what anybody says. I'm so glad that I was like, Ethel, what are you doing? Come up here with me Why am I walking in here alone?

I'm paying you The warhammer will do 42 points of damage And knock the hound prone Oh dear But just before he hits the ground Just before he hits the ground I'll do my hatchet damage Wallop him into the ground

Oh, that's no good So that's no good. So that's... On 2d6, I rolled two ones. So that'll be 16 points of damage from the hatchet. Alright, 16 points of damage.

Trying to find an image that looks prone-ish. How about this one? Like he's fallen and he can't get up. He's prone. All right, so that was just your first action or first two actions? First two actions. However, for my third action, I'm going to use my flensing strike ability.

Yes. So you're going to take 1d8 persistent bleed damage per weapon damage dice of whichever weapons you use that had the most weapon damage dice. So I crit with... It's just going to be

that Warhammer. So it's going to be... Well, you crit, you don't... It's just a standard, right? Okay, so it's going to be 2d8 bleed. You're flat-footed.

Oh, man. And your resistances to any physical damage types are reduced by 5 until the beginning of my next turn. And your resistances to any physical damage types Are reduced by 5 Until the beginning of my next turn So my resistances are Just remember at the end of my turn I gotta take, what is it?

2d8 persistent bleed If they bleed If they bleed Resistances drop by 5 Flat footed and prone Zikes! Okay, that was a we haven't seen brutality like that in a while.

Strong opener, as they say. Okay. Okay. Everybody watch out. They bite. I think. I don't know. Alright, I'm going to move to Suki's turn. Okay.

He said that ominously. Yeah, right? That's how I always say it. What the fudge was that? Now, what is that supposed to mean? Curious choice of words there, friend. We're pretty bottlenecked, and I was trying to find a way to move out of this space

and get behind these hounds, but I'm assuming any which way I go will provoke. Why? Because I'm going to go within five feet of them. Why are you assuming they have an attack of opportunity? Because they have big jaws. Okay.

But I'll do it anyway. Caution to the wind. Joe, you can't say that and then make a face no I'm just saying that's the old school knowledge check if they have attacks of opportunity just go provoke see if that happens yeah take one for the team

um yeah fuck it I'll do it I know what it's like being a caster Suki it's like if you use that action for the knowledge check and then move you can't cast a spell. I know what it's like being a caster, Suki. It's like if you use that action for the knowledge check and then move, you can't cast a spell. I know. And also, if I do any ranged attacks from here, I can't shoot through Ethel or Atticus. You can.

They just get a plus one to AC. That's all they get. But, yeah. It sucks. Just a plus one to AC. If it's a targeted spell. I mean, if it's a saving throw you can do it No I was going to do it

You know what I'll just I'll use my first action to run past The hounds Okay At that moment Oh no you crossed in front of a jaw And you weren't spaced Nothing seems to happen

Oh you gotta be kidding me That's not cool You weren't spaced. Nothing seems to happen. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. That's not cool. He's in a weird mood right now. Something's going on. Is Troy the John and Yellow? Is Troy the John and Yellow? Is Troy the John and Yellow? Be honest.

How are your Billy Rubens? It's a pre-existing condition. So I run Run past them They don't seem to provoke So that's great Everything seems totally fine Yeah, everything seems normal

I hate him so much Suki is gonna Produce flame And make a ranged attack Against the hound to the left In front of Atticus That is not prone Yeah, you and Atticus had a moment a couple nights ago.

Getting a little closer here. You're sharing in each other's backstories. So you're maybe saving your buddy here. That's going to be 22. No, 32 to hit. 32 to hit is a hit. Woo! Boys.

So that's going to be 4d4 plus 3 fire damage. 4d4 plus 3 fire. Double fire. Zoe. 8, 12, 13, 14, 15 plus 3. 18. 18. I already got it.

So it's 18 points of damage. And is he on fire or no? This is just, boom, you're basically throwing fire at him. Yeah, just fire damage. On a critical, they take double damage, but yeah. Great. The importance of that is if they were weak to fire, then they would take an extra jaunt on top of that three. So 18 points of damage as far as you can see.

And you moved and then two action produce flame? Yep. Beautiful. All right. So Suki gets up there. And now it's Eris's turn. Eris is about 10 feet behind Atticus to his left looking at the map. All right.

I'm not metagaming, I swear. Here we go. But like, we just experienced this thing in that graveyard area where we thought that the main thing

we were gonna be doing was fighting those red-footed spider pigs. Then the statues came alive. So she's remembering that and just just being like i don't want to like these are just dogs i mean i might need my powers for later yes yes um i was just thinking the same thing like so i'm gonna cast guidance on myself to give me a plus one status bonus to attack or whatever. And then I'm going to do telekinetic projectile, something on the

ground, to hit the dog that Ethel hit. Love the harpoon. There's a harpoon anywhere. Oddly enough, in this desert way station, there's no harpoon. That actually, that would be the most Douglas Adams things ever, if just everywhere she went, there were just's no harpoon. That actually, that would be the most like Douglas Adams things

ever if just everywhere she went there were just harpoons lying around. That is. That's so Douglas. You guys don't see harpoons everywhere? I see them everywhere. So you're just looking for an item to telekinetically throw? Yeah. You see a bucket that might be used to

like water horses. Cool. I'm gonna try to whack him with the telekinetic projectile with the natural 9. So 26 altogether with my guidance. 26 with the guidance. And is this the one that is in front of

Atticus? The one in front of Ethel. Oh, the one in front of Ethel, of course. Wide-eyed and ask. He's flat-footed. He's flat-footed. That is a hit. Awesome. Let's see.

Two, four, d6. That's five. Four d6 with a bucket. Ten plus four. You know, a bucket falls on your head. You feel some serious damage. You have to tell me. It was a bucket half full of water, so it you feel some serious damage. It was a bucket

half full of water, so it was 19 points of damage. Urine. It was urine. It was dream urine. It was dream urine. Brutal. Okay, so just this poor fucking dog is lying on the ground, flat-footed,

and you just... This bucket shatters on his head. Okay. Is that your final action? That's all my actions. Okay. It is Atticus' turn. Atticus, you came up, you felt like these dogs, these

hounds were going to get the jump on you, but you're able to act before them. Weird. Okay. In that case, Atticus is going to do before them. Weird. Okay. In that case, Atticus is going to do a similar thing to Eris. Can he reach up to the wall? Just above, like toward the top of the wall, and just pull a loose brick off the top and drop it down on the prone dog in front of Ethel? Is he like Luke trying to get his saber with the wampa?

It's like, shh. And it comes out. Right down, yeah. Sheboygan! Slam it down on that dog. Okay. Is this an attack roll? Yeah.

Yeah, 27 to hit. Yep, poor thing. Okay, that is going to be, that's a couple sixes, LaValley. That's a couple sixes! Is it 4d6 you're rolling? Yeah. LaValley. It's a couple of sixes. Is it four D six? You're wrong. Yeah.

It's just like Eris. Just like Eris. Yep. Uh, so that is 16 points of bludgeoning damage. Uh, and then I'm going to cast shield and raise a magical shield. Okay.

So, uh, a shield appears in front of you. Very cool. Okay. Does, so a shield appears in front of you. Very cool. Does it seem to hurt the dog that's prone? Yeah, everything you've done to the dog has hurt. It's just that every enemy in Pathfinder 2nd Edition has 700 hit points. I don't know if you guys were aware of that.

It's a little thing they added, hit points. 1,000 hit points per character. All right, and oddly enough, it is that hound's turn. So that hound is prone. It wants to get up, which will provoke. Provoke. Because that is a move that has the move trait on it. So they'll provoke from Atticus.

Probably doesn't have a weapon out there, so Ethel, strike away. That will be a 26 to hit. That is a hit. Terrible roll is what it was, but I'm glad it hit. Let's see what we got here. That will be 15 points of damage. And the dog dies as it tries to stand up. The dog tries to stand up and Ethel just crushes its head into the hammer.

Yeah, just crushes its skull. This is already a lot more fun than that last encounter. Like, a lot more fun. And remember, they're not like dogs. Dogs, right. They're evil, evil creatures that are, we only say dogs because that's the closest. They didn't walk out of a door like, do you have any water?

That's not what happened. Just Google hounds of Tindalos. They're hounds of Tindalos. Yeah, here's some water, whack. Yeah, you don't know what they are. They are these shadowy hounds. But it is now Aldo's turn. Aldo would like to do a knowledge check on these things.

Okay. What kind of knowledge are you thinking here? You have pretty strong occult, right? I do. Yeah, so if you're Galt. If you're Galt. If you're Galt. Sorry, I shouldn't talk about your Galt.

Who is John Galt? If your gut is telling you you know maybe Hound of Tindalos then roll a cult that is a 25 okay they are in fact not Hounds of Tindalos

they are creatures known as Yeth Hounds oh dude these are in 1e these are you ran into these in Rise of the Rune Lords as Yeth Hounds. Oh! Dude! These are in 1E. These are... You ran into these in Rise of the Rune Lords. These are like hunting dogs, and it appears that these are the shadow versions

of normal Yeth Hounds. So they are hunting dogs. Very, very evil. Usually found in the company of either hags or hunters. So you would think if there's

a group of yethounds here, their hunt master may not be far behind. Oh my God, is there an invisible hag? Oh God, come on. There can only be one hag in this area. Yeah, there's only going to be one hag. Aeris is going to clean that shit up. Can I know if they have any specific weaknesses, any kinds of damage?

Yes. With that roll, you would know that they are a little bit weak to silver damage. All right. Break out the fancy cookware or flatware. A little bit weak to silver damage. All right. Break out the fancy cookware or flatware. Grandmother's in town. Aldo's such a weird dude. Party's so weird.

Everybody. What are you talking about? Every individual. There is no one normal in this group. Oh, I wanted to say, too, before, when we were getting ready, Aldo passed out two lesser elixirs of life to everyone in the party. Oh, cool. We each have two? Yes.

Each of you have two. Do they just, like, do they have to be used within that day? Yeah, they have to be used before the next time that I use my X-Drive. Awesome. Thank you, dude. That's amazing. Yeah, you're welcome. So he is going to just go ahead and throw an Alchemist's Fire at the Yeth Hound, the shadowy Yeth Hound.

Right, which is still on the edge of your light there before the light gets a little dimmer, so. Yeah, yeah. Perfect. Oh, great. Natural one. Oh! So that, I was actually watching the How It's Played YouTube

guy this morning. Yeah. And he's great. He's awesome. Rodney? Rodney, this morning. And he's great. He's awesome. Rodney? Rodney, right? Yeah. He's great. He's awesome. And his suggestion for situations like this, like alchemical items, is either that it's just

treated as a dud. No damage. Because on a normal mist, they would at least get splash damage. In this case, that doesn't happen. Or, in certain situations, you would say, like if you're throwing Alchemist Fire, something in its area would catch on fire.

But, yeah. In this situation, I'd probably say it's probably a dud. But, it's up to you. Yeah, I would say if it was a critical fail that wasn't a natural one, I'd be like, dud. But unfortunately, people have paid for the privilege of these fumbles, and I've got to give them what they want.

Okay. This is another crazy poll. I swear to you, totally random. I haven't read it yet. But it's from JT in Gainesville, Florida. And the title of the fumble is, Sorry, Mr. Marr. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Hi, JT. And I'm sorry for what's going to happen to you in about a minute. Where's he from? Gainesville. Gainesville. Oh, no. Skitty's from Gainesville.

And he says, sorry, Mr. Maher, when making your attack, your foot skids across the ground, causing you to miss your shot and pull a muscle in your leg. Roll a reflex save. And there's critical success success fail critical fail he's got cat like reflexes uh all right i keep getting aggressively booted out of my character sheets online management software then we'll be logged back in here skin you're the best that is is a 20. 20. All right, this is against the Creatures AC, Troy.

Okay, that is just a regular fail. Regular fail. Your movement speed is reduced by half for 1d4 rounds. Right. So you slip and maybe twist your ankle a little bit, and your movement speed is reduced for a couple rounds. Okay, that's not the worst thing. Tim Tebow is a piece of shit.

I'm done. I'm done. All right. So we'll say three rounds. Thank you, JT. Thank you. Thanks for your support of the show. We greatly appreciate it.

For all we know, JT may agree with you, Skid. He may, in fact, just because you live in Gainesville doesn't mean that you worship Tim Tebow. Everyone, I don't know. All right, so first attack misses and you twist your ankle a little bit in that toss. You didn't warm up enough.

All right. Okay. So I've got to remember to do my calf stretches before entering horrible realms. All right, I'm going to throw a second firebomb. That is a 19, which is a miss. A miss, yeah. So he will take four points of splash damage.

Okay, great. All right, so four points of splash damage, and then, yeah, you did the knowledge check Alright, so Aldo gets a little A little twist in his ankle there But for Aldo, you want to keep your distance anyways As the ranch guy, so it's probably the Not the worst thing that could happen

And it only lingers for 18 seconds Alright, it is, oddly enough That hound's turn And that hound is going to do something. Do something that takes three actions. Oh, no. He's running back. He's going to run back to the hut master.

No! It takes three actions to withdraw? Is that the rule in Tuohy? It takes three actions to just surrender? It emits an unearthly howl. Oh, I remember this now. Just like... And I mean, people from hundreds of feet away could hear this.

Everyone roll a will save. So psyched to have my magic shield up. What a waste of everything all the time. Okay. Uh-oh. Oh, no. All right, let's give it to me straight, Suki. Nat 20.

Critical success. Okay. Nice. 20. Critical success. Okay. You badass, you. Very good. Critical success. All right. So you know whether it succeeds or fails. All right.

So great. What about Eris? Got a 30. Bam. Nice. 16. Regular success. Atticus.

24. That is a regular success. It had to be a tweenzoni. I feel better. I feel better. Not much better, but a little better. Aldo. Aldo got a 30.

30, regular success. And I saved Matthew for the end. What did you get? 20.. 30, regular success. And I saved Matthew for the end. What did you get? 20. That is a regular failure. Okay. Just a regular fail.

Regular. Okay. Let's just see. All right, you are frightened one. Okay. Okay. There are worse things. Yeah, and whether you succeeded or failed, you are immune to that power from all the other, from what the other dog had.

Well, there's more dogs coming out. I was just going to say, for all the other dogs about to come. Well, it's actually their turn. So I let the cat out of the bag seconds before the cats came out. Because at that moment. The cats that are dogs. Of the bag. At that moment moment a couple things

happen. Oh Suki you're so dead. I'm so fucked. You're so incredibly dead. One runs right past up to Suki and another one comes out at Suki. Oh no. And then standing

behind them a figure emerges. Uh-huh. Are you kidding me? And the figure looks like this. No! Wait, that's what we saw before. Yeah, we've met this guy.

Very, very similar looking creature. They all kind of look similar, dressed in these tattered robes, clutching a red ruby. They look suspiciously like denizens of Leng to me. That's what they look like, don't they? No. They have a veil covering their face, a turban with an arrow, like a sort of golden arrow

sticking out of it, a bejeweled thing on their midriff and just like, yeah, tatters coming from all their robes. It steps out as well. They're all acting, so I just had them all take their first action for dramatic effect. But now I will finish their action. So, Suki, the first one came up to you.

And with its second action, it will attempt to bite you. That's unfortunate. And only rolled an 18, so that's a miss. And then with its third action, it will also try another bite, and a 16, so it missed. The second hound does the same thing. Two bites.

First, oh man, 23? Miss. Miss, okay. And then with its second and final action, it tries another bite, misses with a 19. I mean, I rolled four rolls under 10. Thank goodness. However, the denizen of Lang steps out.

First action. And you see he's holding in his hand a scimitar. And as he's holding it there, he's kind of like balancing it in his hand, like testing the weight of it. That's so fucking cool. God damn it. Like it's a weapon maybe he hasn't used before. And he is going to... This is a good sword. He's gonna

cast a spell. He's gonna cast a spell on... Atticus. God damn it! What is wrong with you? Just cast it on Matthew. He's the most powerful character and never gets angry about anything.

Give me a will save. He knows your magic. Atticus is going toe-to-toe with this guy. His head dips down. Eyes lock. He said he was only going to do this if he knew he could steal his mind against these powers. Let's dance, motherfucker. 29.

29 is a regular success. Yes. All right. So he cast Phantom Pain on you. Oh, dude, that is a badass spell. Yeah, so Illusory Pain racks the target, dealing 2d4 mental and 1d4 persistent mental damage. On a success, you take full initial damage, but no persistent, and the spell ends immediately.

So you're going to take 2d4 damage. Not bad at all. Not bad at all. It gets a lot worse. Once you get into failure, you're only going to take four points of mental damage. So he just like, he's fighting against it,

but it's still damages him. And now it is round two and it is Ethel's turn. and now it is round two and it is Ethel's turn Ethel is going to slide up to this denizen of Leng and I'm going to do a double slice you're just walking right past that other hound

and yep sliding right up to him okay and to be honest orange is the hatchet cracked eye in the orange so that is going to be a 36 on the warhammer and a 26 on the hatchet. Crack die on the orange. So that is going to be a 36 on the Warhammer and a 26 on the hatchet.

Okay, the Warhammer regular hit. Hatchet miss. Wow, okay. Regular hit. Here we go. That will be 20 points of damage.

20 points of damage. 20 points of damage. Juice. That's good. And that is my turn. Okay. I mean, you're a weapons guy, right? You look down at that weapon. There is something special about that scimitar.

Oh, get it, dude. But will it only exist in the Dreamlands? Interesting question. Stay tuned after the break. Yes, it will only exist in the dreamlands? Interesting question. Stay tuned after the break. Yes. That's been the way. And now stay tuned. Suki, you're up.

You were very bold in going up there, and there's nothing wrong with that boldness, but now you are surrounded by these dogs that couldn't hit you if they tried. Yeah. Suki is going to whisper her command, and Pepsi is going to come out of her sleeve as she lowers Pepsi to the ground.

Y'all forgot about Pepsi, didn't you? I did. I'm just waiting for the arrow that's going to shoot Pepsi into the encounter. And Pepsi is going to slither up to... Oh, Pepsi's looking great. A little corn snake action today. Dude, that is a way better Pepsi. Yeah.

Maybe Pepsi changes colors. Pepsi is going to slither up. There he is. Going to slither up to this citizen of Lang. Denizen of Lang. Citizen of Lang. He votes in Lang. Hail and well met, citizen of Lang.

Excuse me, I'm a denizen of Lang. Fuck, I got Lang jury duty. me I'm a denizen of Leng. Fuck, I got Leng jury duty. That's the nice ones. The evil ones are the denizens, and the citizens are just like normal folks on their lawns rubbing their rubies.

Really, you want the civil jury duty when you're a citizen. Oh yeah, you do not want to go to criminal court. So I can have Pepsi act now. She commands Pepsi to attack twice. Pepsi is going to attack

twice. Great. You have control of Pepsi now if you need to move. Thank you. Oh, brother. Just to needle you on the rules Does Pepsi Is it just flavor? Can Pepsi show up Wherever or does Pepsi need to use a move

Action to get there and can only attack once Oh, you're right, well Pepsi only gets two actions if they're Like an animal companion My imagination was I let Pepsi out in the square diagonal to where Suki is But that's still a move Oh, you mean here imagination was I let Pepsi out in the square diagonal to where Suki is.

But that's still a move. Oh, you mean here? Oh, I suppose... Oh. Yeah. Then that's not a move. Yeah. Sorry. Oh, okay. I didn't see that angle. Yeah, you could... I would assume you can put that... put the animal adjacent to you. You're not, like, summoning a creature where you can put it anywhere. But I would imagine you can put it adjacent to you. I haven't

read enough into it. I would imagine... I put it adjacent to you. I haven't read enough into it. I would imagine. I wouldn't think like- Is it an animal companion or? It's an animal companion, but it has the minion trait. It does like what I tell it to do. Okay.

But it is an animal companion. I'll have to look this up because it's- So should it, I mean, and I'm fine with this all, but was that partially like just flavor that like it resides in your robes and you just like put it down wherever you want? Or does it kind of always just need to be slithering around beside you?

It slithers out from my robe. That's the flavor text, but it has to move. But I imagined I put it in front of me, which would be the five-foot space. That would be a move action, because it's moving from your space to there. Joe, I feel like you've had the most animal companions. When you have a dog, it starts in your space, correct? No. It occupies its own square,

but usually when we go into these things, you never have Pepsi out ahead of time. I feel like that's a cool character choice, but I don't think mechanically that exists in the game. I think it's supposed to be holding a square at all times. So you could say it held that square, but then none of those enemies were able to attack it before, which exists in the game. I think it's supposed to be holding a square at all times. So you could say it held that square, but then none of those enemies were able to attack it before, which is kind of odd.

I'm fine with it being on your person. It's just a move off of it. It's a move action. Fair enough. So it is a move action for Pepsi, and Pepsi will attack once, and Pepsi missed. It's going to keep Pepsi alive. Rolled a 22.

22. All right, so Pepsi does miss the Citizen of Lang. And then... Now I have the Citizen of Lang. And then... Now I have the title of the episode. Citizen of Lang. Citizen of Lang. Thank you, Sidney. No, just Citizen Lang.

Citizen Lang. Citizen Lang. Yeah, that's great. Never gonna live in Rome. They said they... Rosebud. Rosebud. Rosebud.

People looking back will be like... That's the name of the yeth hound in the front. How did everyone know him? Knew him well. Was Citizen Lang the name of the hound? I just don't remember. It seemed important at the time. With the last two actions that Suki has,

I'm going to cast electric arc at the two hounds in front of me. Nice. So where's my d20? It's just a reflex save. Yeah. Okay, and they do not attack you. So you assume they don't have an attack of opportunity. So, the one to the north of you rolls a 26,

and the one to the right of you rolls a 29. Well, dang, that was a waste. That's not a waste. They still take half damage. They take half damage. The 29 wasn't critical success? No. Okay.

No. I had to ask. All right, so they take half Demzoni. Demzoni. So 10 total, so five each. Five each. Hey, you know what? It's better than four.

Yeah. Okay, so interesting little map here. So wildly different from our combat two episodes ago. That bottleneck is very, very interesting. All right, let's see what happens here. It is Eris's turn. Okay, so I want to know if this...

If he really loves me, I want to love him. of whatever the hell. Call them what they're supposed to be called. Citizen Lang. Lang. Citizen of beef. I want to know...

I want to do a knowledge roll. I want to know if it's, like, immune to stuff because, like, a knowledge roll I want to know if it's like immune to stuff because like you know it seems to be doing the same sort of spells that I'm doing and I just want to know

if I'm going to waste my time on it or not I like it so like a cult yeah a cult would be perfect for this natural two nothing's worse

than failing knowledge checks they are weak to damage Oh, nothing's worse than failing knowledge checks. They are weak to damage. Okay. I let everyone know that. And, um... We're having a good time. Um...

Let me see. Okay, yeah. I'm gonna cast Haste on Ethel. Okay, yeah. I'm going to cast Haste on Ethel. That's good. Yes! I cast Haste. Because you know what Ethel likes to do more than anything else? What?

Strike and stride. Oh, hell yeah. Strike and stride, baby. So I reach out my hand. I cast Haste. And I'm like, damage them. Damage does the trick. So haste is ranged and is single target in 2e?

It says range 30 feet. Yeah, target one creature. And you just give it one creature. That's totally, I guess because 1e was so powerful. It's probably heightened haste, yeah. If I heighten to seventh level, which I was just looking at, but I don't understand heightened, I can target up to 6 creatures.

I can explain heighten to you at some point. It is complicated as fuck. It's actually not that complicated, but it's not easy. I thought it just takes your spell slot when you heighten it. I thought you just heighten it to the spell slot you have and it just occupies that spell slot. Yes, but there's heightened plus one, there's heightened plus two, and then there's like, or I guess there's heightened plus one, but then there's heightened seven, heightened three, heightened five. And then, yeah, it's...

So you can't cast that yet? No, we're not casting seventh level spells. I mean, that's like end game kind of stuff, I think. That is like, that is a major change in philosophy though, to like turn haste from a spell that does... as a third-level spell into something that you would need a seventh-level spell slot for.

Yes. That is a major rethinking of how haste works. Yeah, my assumption is that they looked at 1E and were just like, it is so unbelievably powerful. It really is. I mean, I think of like Endgame with Giant Slayer. Whenever that came out, it was like, alright, well, let's see what I can do for this round. Anytime you use a third level spell

spamming it in the Endgame, it's probably... Yeah. Alright, so you're going to cast Haste on Ethel. You did your knowledge check. You have one more John. No, He is probably two. Oh, haste is two. Haste is two, yeah.

Great. It is Atticus's turn. You guys are all getting this opportunity before it comes back to the enemies. Yeah. I think Atticus, remember, it was only seconds ago that this guy went in at him with his phantom pain. And Atticus shook it off, and Atticus is not even going to hesitate, and he's just going to go right back at him.

Illusionist to illusionist. And he's going to cast Phantasmal Killer on this guy. Oh, is he? I don't know what denizens of Leng fear, but it would be whatever he fears most. The captain on the boat. Yeah. He's going to come right back at him and open the arsenal on this guy.

All right, what do I need to roll to begin with? A will save or a fortitude? You need to roll a will save. All right. I think I'm going to pass it this time. Pro. I'm good. 26. 26 is this time. Pro. I'm good. 26.

26 is a pass. Okay. And. I love the 2E Phantasm killer. Yeah, it's great. It's great. Okay. So terrible damage.

You take nine points of mental damage. Okay. And he is frightened one. Frightened one? I rolled super low, but yeah, he is frightened one. Okay. And yeah, can you describe what he sees at all? It would only be to his mind.

What do these things fear? He sees one of his dogs having its skull crushed by a man. Oh. That's weird. He loves these dogs. He has a love of these dogs. Yeah, and these hounds.

And his greatest fear is that a man would just crush one of their skulls. That's what he sees. No! Bugle! That yeth hound's name was Bugle? No!

Bugle! You make a mockery of this system. What was the Brewer in Skiergard He had a Merple Merple was out of the book Yeah Merple the Fox Right out of the book

Merple the Emo Fox Atticus last action will again raise a shield Okay And just looking at Frightened here Frightened 1 I take a status penalty for all my checks and DCs. And DCs. Very important. Specified otherwise,

that value decreases. So this is going to be for one round and checks, attacks are considered checks. We determined in the past. So, maybe not Babadaboo. So he casts a spell, the DC of that save is lowered by one for this round. It would have been the...

Frighten goes down each round, right? Yeah. At the end of your turn. So I was not frightened during my turn. Which might have affected my second attack. It is Aldo's turn because Yathal number two is dead. Bugle. Poor little Bugle.

Poor Bugle. I raised him when he was just a shadow Yathal. Aldo is going to step to Aeris' right to get a little bit cleaner line of sight. And far in the hall, he's going to toss an alchemist's fire at the get-down there. Another motherfucking natural one.

Oh, no. Come on. Stop it. Come on. Stop it. Stop. Stop. You got a fumble from Tallahassee this time? Or Jacksonville, the city that Joe and I always let fall when we replayed Pandemic.

Oh, boy. Oh, jeepers grow. Okay. This one from Jenny in Somerville, Massachusetts I know Somerville Somerville, Massachusetts My cousin's from Somerville I got cousins in Somerville

My cousin Pat is in Somerville This one's called Oh, this is funny I don't like sand Dude, these are like getting oddly appropriate Creepily appropriate It's coarse, rough, and irritating And it gets everywhere

Somehow it has gotten into your eyes During this throw All enemies So it gets into your eyes And you're like, ah And all enemies are concealed from you For 1d6 rounds You may spend a round

To blink or rub the scent Out of your eyes to remove the condition you for 1d6 rounds you may spend a round to blink or rub the sin out of your eyes to remove the condition so concealment is a dc5 flat check for all attacks you could take the flat check or spend a round rubbing your eyes clear

a three action round three action round probably take the d DC5 flat check. I'll just take it. Yeah. I don't have the option to do it now. So I'm going to do... I'm going to try...

Ah! This horrible dream sand has gotten into my face. In my eyeballs! I am going to try to throw another... I'm going to throw an acid flask this time. Attempt to throw an acid flask. Got a 12 on the flat check.

Okay. Natural 17 on the attack. That is a 26. That is a hit. Awesome. Okay, that is 12 points of acid damage. Okay. And they will now have persistent acid damage on them.

Okay. I'm sorry, who is this? Is this the main dude or the hound? No, the yeth hound. In front of Atticus? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Can you just roll a D6 for those rounds on the eyeball stuff? Four. Four rounds. Four rounds, okay. And what did you have three rounds of? The bum leg. Movement of half speed. Right, which shouldn't affect.

Okay. Yeah, it wouldn't be an issue. Okay, now. I'm in a rough shape. Seriously, you're like limping. There's sand in your eyes. The type of guy that's like, I hate the beach. It's my arm on the beach.

My legs are hurting. It's sand in my eyes. You stepped on a broken shell. It's just like you're bleeding. All right. It is that hound's turn. He is standing right next to Atticus. So he is going to go after Atticus.

I'm going to go for a bite. I haven't hit with a bite yet and I think I'm due. 25. Misses because of the shield. Oh, bam! I'm on the magic shield. A one point.

A one point. Okay. Alright, then I will take another bite chance here. Nat 2. Nice! Just to be clear, I owed you LaVallee because your save on Phantasmo

Killer was on the nose. It was the exact save. So I was due. Okay. I actually... I am going to I'm going to where's Ethel oh Ethel's standing

right there I'm right here body out of the way so you're right there so if I try to move it's going to provoke um I forgot you were even there

there was that body over you um so my final action my final action i'm just going to take another uh well actually i'll i'll try to aid i'm going to try to aid uh the hound that's to the north of suki um so that when he attacks like I'll kind of call out, kind of bark, so that Suki turns and maybe leaves a part of her body vulnerable

for this dog to attack. And so this hound is going to attack, which will trigger this aid. Very low chance of doing it. When you aid with an attack, are you rolling an attack roll? Or are you rolling a skill check or you're rolling a skill check?

Usually it's a skill check. Yeah. So for this, I'm like performance. No, I'm trying. It's DC 20 usually, right? Yeah, it's DC 20. So I'm going to use survival actually for this. We'll say it's a survival tactic because that's not far off.

And I actually made it with a 21. So that's going to be a plus one or a plus two to hit? It's a plus one. Plus one, I believe. A crit success is a plus two. Okay, great. All right, so it's going to try to bite you with a plus one, and I think I got you with a 28.

Yeah, you got me. All right. Damn. Here's the thing. A couple things are going to happen. You got me. All right. Damn.

Here's the thing. A couple things are going to happen. First, you're going to take some damage to the tune of 11 points of piercing. And then you're going to take one point of evil. So 12 points of damage all together. What does evil damage feel like? It feels terrible. Like a sting after the bite? I'm like, ooh, that would hurt more.

What the hell is in that? Just feels dark. Yeah. It's like feelings of sadness and depression. I did not like it. All right, I could do something else, but I'm not going to do that. Instead, now give me a will save.

Uh-oh. That's going to be a 27? Alright, that's a regular success. Are you good? Are you good? Yes, I'm good. I think I'm... What is my...

Suki's Alignment. That's a great question. What is Suki's Alignment? Let me go to my profile real quick. Also, while you're looking that up, Troy, would you do me a favor? Would you mind just calling it a success? It's just a success. It makes me feel bad.

I mean, it's a critical success. When you say regular. You have to keep saying regular success. It just runs it down. I know, I know. It makes it feel like less than. That's why's a critical success. You have to keep saying regular success. It just runs it down. I know, I know. I just feel like less that. That's why I'm doing it. You're so regular. Suki is a... It's a plain old

success. Suki's neutral. Oh, I bet she is. Did you just fill that in? No! Look at my teeth that I cut you months ago. Don't you dare! She's actually a chaotic evil. What are these sounds? Lawful evil? That's what she dare. She's actually a chaotic evil. What are these sounds? Lawful evil. That's what she is.

She's very lawful. You don't take the evil damage. You're like, ah. She is neutral. I do remember that. Because she's kind of spunky. It's from my time in hell's army. I'm lawful evil.

Did I not tell you about my backstory? All right. I'll tell you what. It goes to bite again, and it hits with a 30. That's not a crit, though, right? Not a crit. All right. Let's talk damage, though.

Let's see if I can roll better damage this time. Yeah, I did. That's going to be 17 points of piercing, four points of evil, so 21 points of damage. Okay. On that second bite. Man, you. No joke. Okay, and then it's going to do something very cool. It, like, goes to move,

and as it goes to move, it, like, flies up in the air and airwalks over to behind Ethel. Oh, shit. So basically flanking, and now Ethel is surrounded by two hounds and a denizen of Lang.

Now, here's the thing. So we've got another hound down here that is going to also bite Suki. Come on, hit, hit, hit. All right, that is going to be a 26 to hit? That hits. Amazing. All right, so now I'm going to be a 26 to hit. That hits.

Amazing. All right, so now I'm going to try something a little bit different. First, you're going to take some, oh, almost maximum damage across the board. You're going to take 22 points of piercing. I'm going to die. Five points of evil. So 27 points altogether of damage. Okay.

And then it's going to attempt to knock you down with the bite. The bite has the knockdown trait, which is two actions, which is going to be an athletics check to basically trip you. Against my, or is it? If it hits and deals damage, you can attempt an athletics check to trip the creature. I think it's against your fortitude DC, right? I think trip is reflex, but let me just check. Athletics DC. Athletics DC. Athletics.

So athletics check against your athletics DC. It might be against your fortitude DC. What is my athletics? No, it's reflex DC. Yeah, it's your reflex. Shove is against your fortitude DC. Is my reflex DC like 10? Reflex plus 10. Reflex plus 10, that's what, okay. Alright, so I'm gonna take just to do something fun here, I'm Reflex plus 10. Reflex plus 10. That's what it is. Okay. All right. So I'm going to take, just to do something fun here, I'm going to try it out.

It's a 20. That's a miss. That's a miss. All right. So it does not knock you down. Don't knock me down. Don't knock me down. The denizen of Leng, now seeing Ethel surrounded, looks down at that sweet blade and wants to give it a swing.

And it swings directly at Ethel. Ethel, you are flat-footed right now as you are flanked. Okay. Let's see. Okay. That's a 32 to hit. That's a hit. A couple things are going to happen.

Actually, that's not true. You're going to just take some damage. Take some damage? There's a good thing about damage. A couple things are going to happen. You take one hit point of damage, and then you'll take some more hit points of damage. Take 15 points of damage. Okay.

15 things are going to happen. I'm going to take one point of damage. Take two points of damage. 15 things are going to happen. Take one point of damage. Take two points of damage. Now I'm going to swing again. 24 to hit. That misses. I'm also going to swing again.

I have my reason for that. What did I say? 24? Would a 25 have hit? Yes, it would have because I'm flat-footed. Let me just see. Forceful... Why did I answer that question? What are you doing, Troy?

Alright, forceful is just a bonus to damage, and I think sweep is only if I attack a second person. Let me just make sure. When you attack, it's putting a plus one... Yeah, different target. Okay, just making sure. So that wasn't it. I'm going to attack again. Probably going to miss. 22. Yeah, different target. Okay, just making sure. So that wasn't it. I'm going to attack again. Probably going to miss. 22. Yeah, so miss.

First one hits. Doesn't do too much damage. And then it just keeps swinging at you. And now is the top of round three. Big round for Ethel here. Okay, double slice on the guy. He made a fatal error.

Not moving because I am now quickened. There we go. Okay, double slice on the guy. We made a fatal error. Not moving, because I am now quickened. There we go. Holy shit. Messed you up. Let me get myself in focus. Bugle! Bugle's murderer turns his attention on me! All right, that is a 33 on the hatchet,

and a 30... math is hard, a 35 on the warhammer. Two mundane successes. Mundane. Two run-of-the-mill successes. Okay, 18 points of damage on the warhammer. Okay, 18 points of damage on the Warhammer. And that'll be... 15 points of damage from the hatchet.

Okay, I should mention at the end of... After he attacked you, you can see his wounds starting to close up. Well, that's a good thing because I'm going to use a little thing called... A little cult called Lensing Slice. Ooh, Lense. So yeah, so you're going to take, you are now flat footed until the beginning of my next turn. Any resistances, any physical damage reduced by five and you take 2d8 persistently damage. Amazing. If he bleeds.

If he bleeds. Okay, I removed the frighten condition now that your turn is over. Is your turn over? No. I'm quickened. I got an extra action. I'm not putting it back. So, what's going to be the most helpful here?

Dammit. Yeah, but I don't know if I'm going to... Your AC's pretty high, so I'm going to see... I'm going to try to demoralize you and I'm gonna just I'm gonna I'm gonna say I'm gonna cave your head in the way I caved your dog's head in

oh low blow what did you say what did you say it's probably not gonna do much because I rolled natural 8 it's a 21 intimidation. He laughs at you. No, you won't.

Wow. Our witty repartee will go down in the annals of history in the dreamlands. Get out of here with that, he says. That is my turn. Good turn, good turn. Just laid out some serious damn zoning. But he says. That is my turn. Good turn. Good turn. Just laid out some serious damn zoning.

But now it's Suki's turn. Okay. Suki is going to use an action to drink one of the elixirs of lesser, elixir of life lesser. And I already rolled it because I knew I was going to do that. That's 20 points. 20 hit points back. Temporary hit points for 10 minutes. Thank you. Give it up for Aldo.

Yeah, she says, thank you, Aldo. She's not doing well. She's like, thank you. Blood is gurgling. Blood like spurt out of her mouth as she tries to talk. And then God, I want to use my cool spells, but I know we have to save

them. She is going to do acid splash on the hound directly in front of her that tried to bite her, but missed because it's stupid. And she says that also out loud. And that's going to be Wait, can I do this if it's ranged and it's that to be wait can I do this

if it's ranged and it's that close to me yeah what spell are you thinking acid splash but it's only giving there's no like melee it's range but I don't want to if he had an attack of opportunity it would provoke right so that's 27 to hit

27 to hit my little poop hit. My little poopy is a hit. Is this dog's name Poopy? Poopy. So, what was the other one? Bugle and Poopy. Bugle and Poopy. Yep, this is Poopy. Dude, does this Denizel Lang happen to have

a toddler son? It's Bugle, Poopy, Marmalade, and Mr. T. have a toddler son. It's Boogle. Poopy. Oh, where's that? Marmalade. And Mr. T. That's eight points of acid damage, and then it does say plus two

persistent acid. Okay. So that will be on the end of his turn. And then it also says plus one splash would mean Denison get then it also says plus one splash would mean Denison get hit by that low plus one? It would take one splash, and you and Pepsi would take one splash, I believe.

Right? Yes. You don't have Aldo's ability to exclude your friends. Ah, okay. So you, I mean, that's one of the drawbacks of doing range so close. You'll take a point, Pepsi will take a point, and I believebacks of doing range so close. You'll take a point. Pepsi will take a point.

And I believe the enemy takes a point. The target also takes a point. Okay. So one more to the target as well. And then we all take our little awesome. And that's it. That's my round. That's your round.

Good round. It's Eris's turn. Yo, what's up? round good round it's eris's turn yo what's up um so i'm going to cast guidance on myself asking the babiaga like i know i've been asking a lot from you today but like you know um so yeah cast that on myself and i get a plus one to something. And then I'm going to try to cast Impending Doom on the Denizen of Leng. So that means it makes a will save. It makes a will save. Okay.

Now, this has the incapacitation trait. This is one thing we keep forgetting. So let me just look at the level of my John. What level are you guys? Eight. Eight, okay. And so incapacitation ability with this trait can take a character completely out of fighting and killing. It's harder on a more powerful character.

If a spell has incapacitation trait, any creature more than twice the spell's level treats the result of their check. Blah, blah, blah. So impending doom is level three and it is more than twice the level. So my success will always be one step higher. So now I will roll a 27.

You said will, right? Yep. Okay. So I rolled a 27. Yeah. The DC is 26. So that'd be a critical success. Critical success. Nothing effing happens.

Nothing. The creature is unaffected. Yeah. And this is what we're realizing. This is such a powerful spell. It should rarely work against great... Against bosses, basically, or strong enemies. You use it on a hound,

and it might just down them, basically. That's cool. I'm glad we learned that. That was two actions. Did you do something else? Yeah, I casted Guidance beforehand, but it doesn't apply to, like, counteracting your will save, so... Yubba- yubba dubba do it's Atticus's turn. Um, man,

this guy is throwing me for a loop. Zony. Um, they're tough characters. They march their own beat. Kind of hard to hit. Uh, can I do...

Have we already come across a bunch of citizens of... That was honest. Got it. Got you. So the first one you fought was in the crypt beneath Iris Hill. Right. Remember, you fought them. I just don't remember the extent of our knowledge checks.

Do you? I mean, do you think that we know what we're up against? Yeah, you've spent time now because you fought them. You fought one there. You fought one was the captain of the boat. And I think you may have fought another one as well. So I imagine you've spent some time learning about them. You know they can cast spells, occult spells.

Are they living? You also know when they die on this plane, they rematerialize in Lang. So does that mean they're undead? Are they alive? They are aberrations. They're aberrations. They're dreams.

So they are living. They're living dreams. Living dreams. Are're living dreams. Living dreams. Are you living your dreams? Okay, I'll risk it. I feel like... For the biscuit? I feel like it's not undead.

Do I know that it has any particular resistance to, like, negative damage, like an undead would? No, Skid Row, pretty well. If you'd like to use an action to roll i can give you more information i'm not gonna give you the stuff for free but you know that they uh actually skid didn't roll on them you that was on the dogs yeah i don't know shit you said we know that we fought them multiple times we did all the research are you backtracking now um well i don't want to give you too much for free. I'm just trying to remember what you learned before. It's not free.

You know that... I think you know that they're immune to cold. And I think you know they have resistance to critical hits. Okay. And precision damage. Okay. In that case, Atticus is going to hold his ground. He's going to

change his tack from the illusion school to something darker, perhaps a necromantic school. And he's going to try to drain the life force out of this creature, and he will cast enervation at it. So we're going to switch to a fortitude save and see if that's lower than your will save. Innervation. Innervation. All right, little necromantic John. So you said fortitude? Fortitude.

Is it lower than his will save bonus? I'm just curious. Sure. This is still very high. All right, crack down. I got too many dice in my tray here. Oh, that's a fail. Ooh.

With a 22. That is a fail. Okay. You are drained one. Nice. If he's subject to this kind of damage. Atticus looks across at him. When the illusion doesn't really take for the phantasmal killer.

He's like, oh, not the mind, I see. Let's go to the body. And he starts drawing the life force out of this aberration. Sent you back from whence you came. Perhaps you will rise again, but it won't be here. And he is going to, yeah, you are drained one. And you recall drained, Troy? Yeah, I lose my hit points equal to my level

and max hit points are reduced by the same amount which wouldn't really matter and you have 4d8 persistent negative damage Jeepers! Wow! So it doesn't tick until

your turn but it's going to be bad. So you're going to have 68 persistent damage this turn. Yakuza's there from two sources, so they will stack. Holy shit. Bleed and negative. So he's, like, literally bleeding you out, and I am sucking your life force out of you. And then third action, I will raise a shield.

So he's flat-footed, he's drained, and he's under baited. Holy shit. Okay. I'll just be like that. Okay. Horrible. Absolutely horrible.

And now it's Aldo's turn. Aldo is... He's gonna throw, change tactics a little bit, he's gonna throw a bottle of sunlight. Oh no, sorry, a bottle of lightning at the

geth hound closest to him. Nice. A bottle of lightning. Toss. Natural 20. closest to him, adjacent to Atticus. Nice. Okay. Lightning toss. Natural 20. Oh, he's right around to the other way, dude. He's coming. You were due.

Did we get a fan critical? Yeah, you want a fan critical? Sure. I'll get you a fan critical. I've had enough goddamn fan fumbles in the last time. Okay. This one from Brent in Normal, Illinois.

Normal. It is titled, Fwomp. You hit the target in their inner thigh, and it hits a major artery. So double damage, and then the target rolls a fortitude save. The femoral,

I believe, right? Oh, I believe it would be, eh? Alright, so fortitude save, huh? Fortitude save for the left hound as it hits a femoral artery, I guess. Do dogs have femoral arteries? It's gonna be a

21. It's against your attack roll, I guess. Yeah, because we don't confirm. Or would it be against my plasticity? Yeah, that's probably better for two. Which I can never remember this. I'm sure it's like 26. Just say 26.

Yeah, it's 26. That's a fail. Yeah, that's a fail. Okay, so on a failure, it takes 1d4 persistent bleed. Oh, jeepers. Oh, great. Okay. So double damage and it's going to take persistent bleed. Dogs do have femoral artery.

Well, there we go. It's already taking persistent acid. Now it'll take persistent. Okay. So that is 30 points of electricity damage. Okay. And it is flat-footed. Oh, jeepers. And...

Oh, wait. Let me roll. You know what? Take it all back. Take it all back. I failed the flat check. Oh! Oh, no. What? Oh, no! What does that mean?

It means it's sand in his eyes. No, no. He's such a jerk. Because he's got the sand in his eyes. I forgot about the sand. his eyes sand in my eyes god damn it thanks to Jen is that Jen with two N's by the way

I know she moved to Maryland but Somerville because if so I'd have a word for her oh that's brutal well that was just one action. You can crit again. It's true.

All right, I'll try again. Go again. Flat check past it. Okay, that is a 28 to hit. 28 hits. Okay. Okay, so that is 15 points of electricity damage, and the target is flat-footed.

Okay. And with my third action, I'm going to do another knowledge check on the yellow man. Ah, yes. The yellow kid. That is... Is that a cult or arcana? A cult.

That's a 21. Yeah, you could or arcana? That's a 21. Yeah, you could roll arcana too to know more about what spells does he have, but to know more about him in general. Yeah, they don't need to breathe. They have fast healing. In fact, if you can stop their fast healing, they don't reform on Lang.

If they are killed while their fast healing is disabled, they don't reform on Lang. If they are killed while their fast healing is disabled, they don't reform on the Plateau of Lang. How do you disable fast healing? Would it be acid or something like that? The way it is in... Yeah, I'm not sure. There must be a way.

But I don't know the method of that. You just remember reading that in one of your tomes. Okay. Yeah, and I think that's really all that's going to help you. You know that their bites can be debilitated because they have, like, underneath that veil, they've got, like, Baraka from Mortal Kombat-type mouth,

and their bites have... If it takes damage of a type listed in the regeneration entry, its regeneration deactivates until the end of its next turn, including against triggering damage. Okay, so that would be fire and acid. For a troll, it might be for this. It should say. Its dying condition can't increase to a value.

It would kill it as long as it's regeneration. If it takes damage of a type listed in the regeneration entry... Yeah, so I... have to see, because it doesn't say what damage stops it. Unless I didn't read it. I'm guessing it would say, like,

fast healing, number, and then parentheses, acid or something. Right? You'd think, right? It does not say that. But something to think about. I don't really think we care that much if this guy

happens to regenerate. I guess we're in the dream land. Yeah, spite. But I guess we're in the dreamland so it doesn't really matter yeah anyway that's the end of my turn okay cool I'm reading the entry on archives of Nethis to see if it gives more info okay so that's Aldo's turn

and now it's time for the gauntlet puppies in pain let's talk about the Yeeth Hound to the north of Ethel. It's going to go after Ethel because Ethel is flat-footed to it. And it's going to start with a juicy bite

because it's hungry. This is marmalade, by the way. Fucking natural, too. Just garbage rolls. Or is it that Ethel's so skilled? It could be. 28 to hit

on the second bite? That does hit. Alright, so that one hits. Well, good for me. That's gonna be 8 plus 7. 15 points of regular. 5 points of evil. So 20 points of damage that was my second attack

roll a will save you haven't had to roll this against its bite right that was just super against the howl 90 18 32 alright so you are that's just

a regular just success and I'm just going to throw another bite there All right, so you are... That's just... Yeah, it's a regular. Just success. And I'm just going to throw another bite there. You know what? No, I'm going to do the same thing I did. I'm going to try and give a bonus to the denizen of Lang. So I'm going to aid the denizen of Lang.

Now, the other hound is going to come after Atticus. I'm going to aid the denizen of the laying. Now, the other hound is going to come after Atticus. I'm going to start with a bite. Oh, boy. Oh, baby. 32 to hit. That is a hit. Okay. Fantastic.

That is going to be, oh, boy, max. No, not max. That 8 looked like a 3. 11 plus max. That eight looked like a three. 11 plus seven. That eight looked like a three? 18 points of regular, four points of evil, so 22. I'm going to use my reaction to shield block. And I will get DR 10 on the hardness of the shield.

Okay. So I'll remove 10 from that, and you said 22, is that what you said? Yeah, 22, so you'll take 12. Does the shield take any damage, or where it's magical, it doesn't work? Shield's destroyed. Okay, shield's destroyed. And I can't cast it again for 10 minutes when it's broken that way. Now give me a will save. Okay.

I don't like it. I don't... I do like it. 31. Regular success. And then it's going to take two actions to try and knock you down with the power of its bite. So this is going to be against your reflex DC.

Man, just cannot roll to save my going to be against your reflex DC. Man, just cannot roll to save my life. 17 against your reflex DC. Critical success. For me. You mean it's a critical fail for me? Sure. Yes, that's more accurate.

I felt like I was saving because it was a reflex save. But yeah, it is a critical fail. Okay. Which means you might fall. Yeah, I have to read this now because it was a reflex in. But yeah, it is a critical fail. Okay. Which means you might fall. Yeah, I have to read this now. You've got to double check them rules in. It would be trip. So on a critical failure, you lose your balance and fall and land prone.

Yes! Yes! That's great. This was who? Poopy? This is Poopy. Poopy is now flat-footed and he's about to take persistent acid damage.

And he's prone, Zony. And he's prone. Yeah, he tried to bite it. Atticus is very... Don't mistake Atticus. He's a very dexterous small rat. Damn it. Okay. I don't know what prone is. I'll just have to

make notes later. He's shadowboxing these shadowhounds. Alright, so now I don't know what prone is. I'll just have to make notes later. He's shadowboxing. He's shadowhounds. Um, all right. So now I take, give me the, uh, the damage and I'll roll a d20 to see if I, the acid damage to get. I actually rolled a 15. So, uh, is it just four points of damage or? I, I, I actually gave you the damage like right off the bat that should have waited until his turn.

Okay. So he already took it? Yeah, he took it. Okay. I rolled a 15 to get rid of that and then this one is coming after Suki. And take the persistent acid damage from... At the end of his turn. Okay. How dare you. Oh, poop!

That's going to be a 23. Miss. Miss. I'm going to attack again. And a miss with a 14. So brutal. Dude, Suki, you've been frontlining. And getting very lucky, because I almost went down that other round.

This one will air walk right over next to Atticus, and kind of like at the corner of where Aldo is, leaving Suki alone. And then it takes its two acid persistent. Okay, and it will stay persistent because I rolled a nine. So only two points? Yep. A measly two? A measly two. It's just rolled a nine, so only two points? Yep A measly two? A measly two, it's just a cantrip

Takes two points of damage Alright, now it is the denizen of Leng's turn I will attempt a survival check To aid from the guy Fail, so he will not get a bonus From the The Yeth Hound However, the denizen of Leng has a look

In his eyes A look in his eyes. Look in his eyes like even though the battle seems to be turning in your favor, he has something that you don't. And he raises the scimitar to swing at Ethel.

And we will see you next week. I knew you were going to do it and you I will remember every bit of that persistent damage all week. You're not getting away with shit. Write it down. I'm writing it down. I'm setting a reminder on my calendar. I don't see no persistent damage.

I see hearts and bubbles. I'm writing, Troy is a stinky liar. Reminders of a liar. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glass cannon.