The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 67 – Boogey Knights

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

The heroes delve deeper into the caravanserai in search of the Yellow King. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/NxP7nraUkDQ For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

See yourself buying a home one day? Do future you a favor. Open a Questrade first home savings account and help that future come faster. The FHSA is a tax-free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. Embrace something new at Starbucks. Introducing the Ice Lavender Cream Oat Matcha Tea Latte. A creamy drink where smooth matcha meets subtle floral notes. From our airy lavender cream cold foam.

Only this spring, only at Starbucks. Ice Lavender Cream Oat Matcha Tea Latte includes dairy. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. can you believe that we are only two weeks away? Episode 69. Ooh, nice. How do you plan on celebrating Skid? Yes, how do you all plan on celebrating me?

I'm curious, too. Yeah, because whenever I think of 69, I think of Skid. The first thing that pops into your head. Let's throw skid a party. I'm going to break out the Yamazaki, the really nice scotch that I got for Bowman's party like two years ago. I'm going to have a glass of that. You haven't finished that yet? No, I still got

like a third of a bottle left. Are you going to drink it upside down? Yep. Yeah. That's right. Go to town on that glass. Matthew, I know this is your cup of tea. Episode 69, what do you got planned?

I'm going to go to Skid's house. Oh, dear. Right. Now I know what's happening on the end of that bottle no we're excited I have a pair of matching glasses we're excited around these parts for episode 69 but you know what I'm really excited about?

to record in person yeah that would be very nice how fucking great is this gonna be because this remote stuff is uh it's gotten old it's really gotten old i hate it i hate it with every fiber of my being i can scarcely remember doing it in person it's been so long pre pre i mean i i we all have lives outside of this i imagine some of you have played games in person with other people. I have not since Androids and Aliens. No, I guess since Giantslayer, since we finished Giantslayer.

Don't you remember an entire year of the Giantslayer campaign? Yeah, but I mean, beyond that, I cannot wait to get back in the room because this is very nice. It's very fun, and I enjoy it. But get me on the road. Get me back in the room because this is very nice. It's very fun, and I enjoy it. But get me on the road. Get me back in a room together. This is just like getting the reps in, figuring out the chemistry of this new team, getting Tooey up in our business.

But I just want to get in the room with you guys and start recording the new show. Same. I mean, by the time this airs, we might, uh, eh, do you sign the lease yet? Nah. By the time this airs,

we're getting close. We're getting real close to having a new space that we're really, really excited about. If you guys don't listen to cannon fodder, you don't follow what's happening. We are moving into a new space that we're really, really excited about. If you guys don't listen to cannon fodder, you don't follow what's happening. We are moving into a new space, hopefully very soon and tricking it out to do some really, really exciting stuff with the,

with this new adventure path, gate walkers that I have, I have almost finished reading and listen, I'm a, I'm prone to hyperbole. We talked about it before on the show, especially when I read a new adventure path, I get a little 69'd, if you know what I mean. I don't, actually.

Would you mind? Kate knows exactly what I mean. Kate got it. Using context clues, I also can figure it out. This is going to be a phenomenal show. figure it out this is going to be a phenomenal show i'm telling you right now it is going to be a phenomenal phenomenal show at the time when i chose this ap book two and three wasn't even out yet i mean it's still not out but i have advanced copies uh so i was really like just going off of uh the fact that are you ap book dropping? I'm AP book dropping.

I know some people over at Paizo. They take care of me. And I just felt good about the authors, and I felt really good about book one. Well, let me tell you something. This is going to be a ding hummer, and I can't wait to get in the room, to get recording.

Oh, I get it. It's a ding hummer because of the 69. Yeah! She knows! She knows! That I followed. in the room to get recording. Oh, I get it. It's a ding hummer because of the 69. She knows! I told you Kate knew what you were talking about. Who are the authors, Troy? I'm glad you brought that up, Matthew, because I do like to name drop

the authors. Book one was written by James Sutter. Book two was written by Jason Keeley. And book three was written by James Jacobs. Jason uh book two was not exactly jason keely and book three was written by james jacobs so it is jason keely was in my old gaming group back in new york back in like 2002 and three so that's what happened what happened to the group uh what always happens yeah what always happens i think one guy got married somebody got angry about the height of a wall yeah and the sound a door made when it's supposed to open.

And then the group never played together again. Actually, yeah. That actually kind of did happen. Almost like that exact thing. I'm telling you. A tale as old as time. Yeah. But that, I mean, that three author crew.

It's a murderer's row. That is not exactly lightweights. Those are heavyweights in the RPG. It's so exciting. I'm so fucking excited. But I just, you know, last week was one of those instances we were playing and you guys killed the denizen of Lang. And I, like, didn't make a big deal about it. And then I turned it on you guys that you didn't make a big deal about it.

And it's because the Skype window was like the eighth window that I had open and so because I had so many other things open that I wasn't even looking at you guys so much of the time when I'm playing it's not a big deal because I can just watch or I can just fucking go on ESPN if I'm bored but like when I'm

running the game I have to I have to like do other shit and so I can't look at you guys and i'm missing so much by not being able to look at you so i can't wait to look at your beautiful dude i like when i run games which obviously is not a lot not as much as you or skit but i mean i i deprioritize the adventure the maps every stat block, every important item is deprioritized to your faces being on screen. To me, that is the single most important thing.

I always have it open. Even if it's just half a screen and your faces are small, I always have it open. But Joe, you forget that when we record in person, Troy barely looks at us anyway. That's true. That's true. When I look at you, it makes you very uncomfortable. His attention is not pleasant. I am very much looking forward to getting back in person because I'm realizing how my excitement level has to be so metered.

And that includes my volume. Matthew, I'm sure, misses me screaming in his ear when Skid rolls a natural 20, like screaming at the top of my lungs. And I just, I can't do that at home. It's horrible. Like you just constantly feel the guilt of everyone's ears that are right around you.

And it sucks. When we were in the office, just let loose, man. I remember what I really miss is how you would get angry at, you know, insert one of three dozen items. And you would pound the table so hard with your fist that my laptop would flop open. We're going to have to give you a pounding table. I think I remember, Joe, you pounded the table so hard. Hey, we can build this space out however we want. So now I can have my own pounding table. Pounding table. You pounded the table so hard. Hey, we can build this space out however we want. So now I can have my own pounding table.

Pounding table. You pounded the table so hard you unplugged our mics one time. Yeah. You pounded so hard all our mics got unplugged under the table. We had to crawl under and reconnect everything. That's not true. That's not true. The headphones would get unplugged all the time.

It was the headphones that got unplugged. Oh, which was worse because we couldn't hear anything. We were like, oh. It sounded like the mics were unplugged. Also, it was Grant. But that was that one time hear anything. We were like. It sounded like the mics were unplugged. Also, it was Grant. But that was that one time. Whatever. We were loud.

Make sure on your pounding table, Joe, you have like a couple of like loose items, like some dice, paper clips and pencils. Sharpened pencils. A glass, a full pint of beer. So they can rattle effectively. Get the full effect. I'm so fucking pumped. So stay tuned. Uh,

the tour dates, honestly, the thing that I missed too, is just like being able to hang out in person before and after. That's something that we've been, I've been certainly missing, uh, since we stopped too.

So yeah. Yeah. Hangs, hangs. We come on here and no, it's, it's a lot of just, uh, a lot of staring at each other.

Sometimes I'm just reading over my notes and it's like, all right, it's time to record. We lose all that. Like, hey, how's your day been? Yeah, because you're also like looking at 10 or 15 things. Like you have to make sure that all your shit's open and it's working properly. And I'm always listening to just hear everybody's microphone, make sure it's turned on or at the right spot or what, you know. And you can't have more than one conversation at a time. That's true.

That's so true. It has to be everyone's listening to one person and then it's like, and we move on to the next person. Right. Now it's your turn. I can't wait to have arguments where we talk over each other a lot. Cause I've only ever played with you guys like three times live or otherwise just like this.

So I don't have any of this bantering experience to chuckle with you all about. Oh, you're going to love it. We're going to chuckle so much. The chuckling is going to be so off the chain. It's A1. Chuckling off the charts. Your face is going to hurt. We laugh so much.

Oh, no. That's true, Kate. The only times we ever played in person, there's also an audience. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Which tempts us to chuckles. Yeah. We can just be ourselves when we are in a room alone. Yep. It's going to be a great time. We're going to get back on tour soon.

I was saying, get excited. We're going to announce some dates really soon, and then new Glass Cannon podcast that's coming. I can't wait. But I am enjoying this. But really, the point of this show is to just get in our bones this new group here. This is the group going forward. Spend some more time together and spend some more time with Chewie. This is like training more than anything.

And it's a shame to belittle it like that because it really is an awesome AP. It is, for sure. I mean, obviously you can have whatever. You can nitpick that the sort of – whatever. I don't want to get into it. The point is like this moment that we left last i'm so into it i couldn't wait i was very very no matter what happens i could die suki could die and i'd be like that was so cool so worth yeah i agree i totally suki could totally die and i'd be like that was all your fault Or Aldo. I mean, Aldo could die.

And I would be like, who even cares? Yeah, I wouldn't go that far. But Suki could totally die. And I'd be like, man, you know what? It's all good. Well, if you've been thinking about this moment, let's pick it up right at that moment. We left last week. You dispatched of the hounds. You dispatched of the denizen of

Lang, and then you started to walk into the courtyard, got sort of an uneasy feeling at the tracks and whatnot. You're like, you know what, this is not what we're here for. We're here to meet with the Yellow King. So you go into the doorway that you went into last time, swooping around the rooms that you fought enemies in last time. There was an animated dream posing as a shopkeep. There was a haunt that little did you know was giving you visions of dream quests to come. There was a formless spawn, this black ooze that came out of one of the baths.

And then there was an empty room with a bunch of ledgers that were indecipherable and a staircase leading up. Well, you're back at that room, but it is not empty this time. The ledgers are all there, but there's someone standing there, or sitting there rather, reading. And when you open the door, you start to feel this sick feeling of dread. It really affects Ethel, who's in the vanguard here in this five-foot-wide hallway. You're the only one that can really reach the door.

Atticus starts to feel that weird, like unsettled feeling as well, but you actually take on frightened one. By what you see. So I'm going to reveal it, and then we're going to talk about it. There's a man. I believe I said he

is immaculately dressed. He's sitting behind the desk, and he looks like this. He's sitting behind the desk. And he looks like this. That's horrific. That is the worst thing I've ever seen. Troy, I'm sorry. Could you do it one more time?

I apologize. I clicked right at the wrong time. Oh, no. The teeth. Have you guys seen The Haunting of Hill House? We talked about this recently, but have you seen it? I haven't seen it, but I read it. Just a large mouth. So many teeth.

So many teeth. I don't think Eris would be scared of him. Eris is probably like, oh, what a fine-looking gentleman. Ooh, look at his long fingers. Is this another suitor? What on earth is Eris scared of? Like, I couldn't even imagine something that scares Eris. I feel like Eris has seen this man.

She's just like, oh, Jeffrey, my uncle. That's Uncle Roy. Uncle Roy. Uncle Roy. What are you doing? Roy's fingers. Roy's fingers. Uncle Roy, what are you doing here in the camera?

Stop it with the finger, Uncle Roy. Get out of my dreams, Uncle Roy. Oh, Uncle Roy, you're always doing that finger thing. Flip those nails, Uncle Roy. In addition to being incredibly tall and thin with those fingers, the top hat and pants are vertically striped. He's wearing a red vest. And you can never really trust anyone wearing

a red vest. He's a carny. There is a bit of a carnival feel to him, right? Kind of a step right up, I'll guess your weight or kill you. Yeah. Excuse me, sir. And you start talking, he's like Yeah. Um, uh, excuse me, uh, sir, uh...

And you start talking, he's like... And you can see he's reading and moving his lips while he reads. Who is it? Who are you talking to? Atticus is going to move past Ethel, just behind him so that he can look into the room at least and see Oh! Is this someone you know? Just, no, I don't remember Well

I guess we'll let him finish Without even looking up he says Can I ask what you may know about accounting or mathematics? I took a short course on accounting, because I do want to open my own small business.

I am just fascinated, and he slaps the book. Fascinated by this writing, and believed that the gibberish within contains some fundamental mathematical truth that I cannot yet discern. What is it that you are reading, if I may ask?

It appears to be a ledger from the previous caretaker of this establishment. Oh, this place. This place used to be marvelous. Always a pleasant spot to come and meet the most interesting people. Travelers from all over this plane and the next, looking for a place to relax before heading out on the next leg of their adventure. But this former caretaker clearly let it fall into disrepair. Oh, I remember many a stop here in my youth. It's nice to return, though, even though much has changed. Mr. Rudd.

You guys making a new friend over here? What's going on? Who are you talking to? There's someone in the room. Yeah, are you, so you're the new caretaker? That's what I'm gathering from what you're saying? Oh, my good man, no, no. I'm just here reading, trying to make heads and tails of this. I believe there is something in here of import.

I'm a man that's always interested in knowledge, and I believe there is some interesting knowledge hereabouts. You have some friends with you, yes? I... Yes, we are travellers as well. It's just passing through. Please come, come in. Maybe you could help me decipher this. Well, I will say we are in a bit of a hurry,

and foremost on our mind is a gentleman goes by the name of the Yellow King. Have you seen him here? We can get to that in due time. Perhaps you could help me with these books. Yes. Ethel steps in. I'll take a look. Let me see.

Be careful. Here you are. And he hands you and his arms are a little too long, his fingers a little too long, as he reaches out and hands you this book. And even though he's sitting, he towers over you. And I'm holding my warhammer and my scimitar and this book in my arms.

He doesn't even blink an eye. What do I see within the ledger? It is completely this, like, symbols and words that you've never seen before. I mean, it, it's, it's, it's,

it's, it's in a language you don't understand, but it doesn't even look like a written language. The way it's, it's like somebody took a pen and did this. Um, it's, it's way,

way beyond comprehension. It almost looks purposefully indeciferable. Obfuscated. Obfuscatory. Have you considered the possibility that someone is trying to prevent you from understanding

the contents of this book with the scribble scrabble? No, no, no. I believe you are mistaken, my friend. Clearly someone doesn't want this information to be read by the likes of you or me. So I must just continue to decipher.

I love a good puzzle. You like puzzles. Indeed I do. Let me take a look. And any of you that have now come into view here suki eris and aldo also roll a will save okay i forgot about that that's not that's a 22 okay uh aldo got a 27 And Suki? 33, I rolled a natty 18

Alright, so Suki, you're able to steal yourself But Aldo and Eris, you feel You are frightened, one There's something about the aura That he is giving off that just makes you Unsettled Even you, Eris Unsettled

You get this feeling like this is a rival of yours, though you've never met him before in your life. And that is the feeling that leads to dread. And Aldo, you just, you see this man and you feel like a child again, having a horrible nightmare. And you think of, what was the, Sheila. You think of young Sheila.

And you think of her twisting and turning in her bed, and maybe you were sent to give her an elixir to calm her down. You have that memory sort of wrapped up with your own memory of being a child and seeing things. And it's just very, very unsettling. Thankfully, Atticus and Suki are not frightened, but he does not appear aggressive, just very interested in what he's reading.

What, may I ask, is your objective here? What are you seeking to learn from these tomes? Well, at the moment, I'm just passing the time, yes? I didn't think I'd come upon such interesting tomes, but here we are. Passing the time until what? What are you waiting for? You're trying to distract me, yes? No, I'm also trying to decipher this book it is quite engrossing and he's looking at

all of these like figures and he's not a math guy uh in fact i couldn't even begin to figure out what to roll for this i never thought of this before like there is no linguistics right there is no mathematics like is it like it's so funny because all the other knowledges seem to come i guess society you would fall to like is that what math falls under the same thing would be i don't know and you're saying that the math you would roll the same skill to learn math as you would to learn like to understand people's emotions from a certain culture like it just doesn't fit, there's two things here at work, right? I feel like it falls under some sort of lore.

I mean, I'm sure you could take lore and mathematics, but I don't think anyone in the history of this game has taken that. But there might be some sort of adjacent skill to that that you could use, and I would let you kind of stretch that here. But you're also trying to just, like, get him to talk a little bit more as well. Exactly.

So maybe deception? Yeah, alright. i'm just trying to show off some intelligence this is really what i'm what i'm trying to do uh so could i not roll deception you could roll performance as a trained performer maybe this is something you're uh yeah you know you're using your background as a performer to try and like sleight of hand the conversation, maybe. Okay. Yeah. Like that? Oh, wait a minute. Maybe I do see something here. You know, it looks like complete chaos, but there is some order to this. Oh, dude.

Natty 18. That is a 29 performance. 29 performance. There is some order to this chaos. You see it? Indeed I do. The answers are not coming right away, but there is something here. Yes, yes, I knew that I wasn't

alone in my thinking here. Good, good. Well, it's good to have someone to confer with about should we discover anything here. I do apologize. I've been so wrapped up in my reading,

I didn't even get your names. What is your name? I am Atticus Grimm of Ustalav. My friends can introduce themselves. Atticus Grimm of Ustalav. Is that from the Material Plane? Yes, have you heard of me? Oh, of course I've heard of thee.

I've not heard of you, but I've heard of the material plane. Are you all from the material plane? Indeed we are. We are merely travelers here. Well, uh, yes. Please, I'm sorry I interrupted. He has a rather interesting story. I'm from the Material Plane.

The Material Plane. All of you. Wonderful. I have spent some time there, but it has been many, many years. I've made the Plateau of Leng my home, lo, these past decades. It's a fine place to stay. I don't

know if I'll settle there for the rest of my life. To be honest, coming back here to a place from my youth, perhaps I'll move in here. Looks like it's quite wide open. Pardon. Suki interrupts from outside the doorway. She's not frightened, but maybe because she rolled

well and is not frightened, she's like, I absolutely do not trust this guy. She says, Pardon. Yes. I didn't not trust this guy. She says, pardon. Yes. I didn't quite get your name. Oh, I do apologize. My name is Mr. Wanderlust.

That's your name? Why, yes. Are you familiar with my work? You're from the Dreamlands, I take it? I have spent most of my life in the Dreamlands, yes But I've spent time in other places as well I'm well-travelled, as they say You spent some time in the Material Plane, you said Yes, I have

Did you go by the name Mr. Wanderlust there? Sometimes in my youth I went by many names, but I'm Mr. Wanderlust now, and that's all that matters, yes. You feel familiar to me. Would I know you by another name if we had crossed paths on the material plane? paths on the material plane. I do not know, my dear, about your youth, but perhaps we met at one time or another, or one of

my kind, but I'd remember you, and I don't think we've met. Hmm. Can Suki roll dream lore to know if he is, like, a thing in the dreamlands? Yeah, absolutely. If he's someone, if he is like a thing in the dreamlands. Absolutely. If he's someone. If he's a name.

Kind of a big deal in the dreamlands. Is he somebody? Is he somebody? Natural 17. What's my dream lore? Holy shit. For a plus 13. That's a 30, dude. 29. 29? 30. That's a very good roll. And you'll need it.

I want to know the actual number, though. 30. Kill me. It's a 30. You have not heard of Mr. Wanderlust. However, you, maybe because you're not frightened by the aura that he's giving off, it allows you to focus in on what type of a being he is. And he is

a bogeyman. Sometimes known as a bogeyman. This is someone that haunts the dreams of children. Oh my goodness.

Match made in heaven. Can you say this out loud, that he's a bogeyman? I would also let you know. Are sparks flying? That roll is high enough. Everyone out of the way. That roll is high enough for you to know that this is a creature that is much more powerful than all of you. I think maybe Suki is familiar with bogeymen, bogeymen, just from her studies of dream lore, occult.

And she kind of puts two and two together, traveling between planes, the sharp teeth, the long, the elongated limbs and fingers. And she does whisper, probably to Eris and Aldo, because they're the closest to her. She says, This is a bogeyman. They're very, very powerful. Oh, I've heard of them. We should not,

not interrupt whatever it is he's doing. And Aldo like shrieks. Aldo shrieks. Oh, sorry. I I've never been so excited to be so terrified to be in your presence. I love what you do.

I also try to haunt children's dreams. What? Let us not speak of such things, yes? We are but here to gain knowledge. Yes, I'm sorry. We can talk about work some other time.

Yes, so sorry. She's like kind of starstruck maybe. But terrified. I guess before that exchange Aldo like shrieks, screams like a little Girl Scout at the top of his lungs.

It's like, ah! Immediately bites down on his fist to stop himself and just kind of draws back into the shadows. And Mr. Wanderlust looks up at you and says, Ah, yes. I do apologize.

I wish it was something I could turn off, but we've all lived lives and perhaps seen people like me trickle into the dreams of your youth. But we are sophisticated men and women, are we not? We can discuss things and learn together, yes? One thing I'd personally like to learn, Ethel is trying to fight against the fear, but it's just really unsettling.

Don't look at me like that ever again, please, Troy. Oh, man, that's fucking... Just channeling the photo. One thing I'd like to learn, we're looking for this king in yellow guy. Have you seen him around? Were we supposed to meet with him, have a coffee? I don't know.

Yes, yes, my companions are in search for this yellow king. A woman by the name of Wehrale brought me here as a consultant. She is the head of operationsyrale brought me here as a consultant. She is the head of operations. She came in search of this yellow king.

In truth, I'm not sure what she wanted with him. To kill him, perhaps? She wasn't clear, but she needs him out of the picture, as it were. I suggested she strand him on the moon, in case he might be useful at some later time. I can only hope she followed my recommendation. That is what she hired me for, after all, to be a consultant. So where might we talk to her? Is she here? Uh, so where might we talk to her? Is she here?

He, like, looks over towards the stairway. It's like she went upstairs not long ago. It's not my place to go and check in on her, and I've been quite enjoying reading these letters. So she's up there. She either disposed of him or took him away, or who knows what. You're welcome to go check I'll just sit here with my books

it was a pleasure meeting you perhaps we'll meet again thank you and Ethel just like backs out of the room good luck with your research thank you and you do see a staircase here leading up on the southeast portion. Oh, it's in the room.

It's in the room. In the room, okay. And he's just going back to his book, turning it upside down, reading it upside down. Atticus is still looking at him. Even as he walks to follow Ethel, his eyes linger on the bogeyman. even as he walks to follow Ethel his eyes linger on the bogeyman and he's just like I will endeavor

to do the same there is after all much to learn here and he seems like distracted and kind of lost by the power of this creature and

the fact that even it doesn't understand these books and atticus has been trying to decipher these books like this for a while now i can picture you as like a small rat boy running down a black hallway while a creature that looks like the bogeyman but like beetleju when Beetlejuice goes crazy and gets super large, like chasing you. And you see that same face in Mr. Wanderlust as he sits there reading.

But I'm not a child anymore. Yeah, he's gonna, and he's gonna, I'm gonna, he's gonna mark this dude. He's gonna mark this guy and be like, oh, we will meet again. And I'm going to make sure that I'm staying as vigilant as he is in terms of knowledge and research to make sure that he doesn't get the upper hand when they do meet again. Ethel, why don't you go upstairs? Let's go upstairs. Yes, please. Please't you go upstairs let's go upstairs

yes please please we go upstairs looks like the stairs are in the room right they sure are Aldo we're going upstairs Aldo kind of edges along the wall to be as far away

from the boogeyman as possible as he makes his way towards the stairs. Suki holds Aldo's hand. She heard him scream. She was right there. She holds his hand, like two hands on top of one another on his and she says it's okay. And as they pass the Mr. Wanderlust,

Suki also looks over and she says normally I would say it's been a pleasure but sincerely I hope we never cross paths again Mr. Wanderlust goodbye and Aldo is squeezing her hand to the point of probably pain

ow that really hurts don't talk to it it's been a pleasure bye don't encourage it you walk past this creepy dude towards the stairs. It does beg the question. This is completely out of character.

But for Eris, can the boogeyman love? I want to know. I want to know. Who says the boogeyman is my type? I'm just curious if the boogeyman can love. They might just be work soulmates, not romantic soulmates. Right. I just want to know if the possibility might even exist.

Could be platonic. We are not boogeyman! We are not companions in the devouring of children's souls. I like to imagine it's like both of them just sucking souls in and orgasmically looking at each other and that's what it is for them. Love can take many different forms.

Orgasmically looking at each other. Yeah, like they're sucking souls. It's not like a romantic thing. It's like that is their... Just an orgasm. Side by side. A platonic orgasm. I imagine it must be something like the time I almost met Edward Albee. Obviously, I didn't want to marry Edward Albee because, well, many reasons, but I deeply admire him.

And you looked at him orgasmically? I looked at him orgasmically. It was at the Broadway flea market. Karen was working, and she was like, you should go over and get something signed. He was like sitting at a table. And I looked over orgasmically and then I just ran away. It's like you don't know if you want to be them or be with them. Mostly I was just afraid.

Mostly you were frightened one. I mostly was frightened one and then I ran. So I guess I was panicked. So that's exactly how Eris feels then, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, the bogeyman of the American theater, Edward Albee. Mr. Albee, what are your feelings on 69ing? He probably was a very scary man. You walk up the stairs while he reads his book and looks up at you as you walk by.

We'll take a quick break before we find out what happens next. Ethel is in the front. Atticus, I believe, for keeping same party order, is right behind. Oh, yes. Followed by Sooks. And then Snake. Sooks.

And Aldo. We're being pulled into the darkness. Where are you taking my pawn? Against our will. Jim is exerting his absolute control over us. We're in pitch black. We are just pawns in this game of chess. We're all pawns.

What did I say? We're all pawns in the game of chess. A pawn game of chess. A pawn game of chess. Thank you. If you refer just to the right of this map, you'll see another map. Sha-ga-ga-ka-ka-ku.

With a staircase. And Ethel takes a step forward into the room. This is the room where you met the Yellow King. Sorry. Go ahead. You've already started.

I just felt like this is exactly... Whatever. I said, this is where we were. We met him in the bottom right. I swear, last year it was the other side. It was down here. Well, you're upstairs there. Yeah.

But we are in the southeast corner going up, right? Southeast corner of the Caravan's Ride going up. And this is the room where we met him before. This is the room where you met him before. And he'll brief Ethel on that fact, very briefly. This is where he was before. You remember there were a bunch of paintings

of landscapes as you were going up the stairway? They're still there, but they're actually like askew on the wall. And when Ethel steps forward, you see that there is very clearly an evidence of a fight that happened in this room. Things are pushed all over the place. I mean, you've seen this throughout in the room where the haunt was, everything was pushed to the side, the room where the hounds and the denizen of Leng was, they were looking for

something or searching for something. Well, here it looks like there was a fight with the paintings hanging askew on the walls. A chair is smashed. The door to the north stands slightly ajar, and actually one of its hinges is broken. But as Ethel steps forward, you are not alone in this room.

Unfortunately, it is not the Yellow King in this room. It is three denizens of Lang. Holy shit. Roll for initiative. No! Oh, boo. Fudge on a cracker.

Well, maybe I'll get to cut one of their heads off. Are we still frightened if we're not by the boogeyman? You are no longer frightened. I will confirm that after initiative. Okay. I believe you are no longer frightened because you also had some time. It's not like you were in combat. Unless it lasts a day or hours, you should be fine.

Just say, I confirm you are not frightened. Not reduce. Yeah, you are no longer in the aura, so you're no longer frightened. Nice. Works a little different than traditional frightened. Let's talk about Anish Aldo. 17 for Aldo. 17 for Aldo.

Ethel. 33. 33, a little Larry Bird action. Atticus Grimm. I'm sorry, 34. Correction. A little Bo Jackson action. Atticus Grimm. I'm sorry, 34 direction. A little Bo Jackson action. Atticus.

24. 24. Eris. 18. 18. Suki. 23. Okay. Okay. That is a Ling. One of them, at least,

gets the jump. One of them, at least, gets the jump. The one here standing in the back of the room. So there's three of them. There's one to the south, sort of to the right of the table where the Yellow King was standing. And then there's two standing in the northwest corner of the room. Well, the one that is against the wall, south of the one to the north, immediately casts Mirror Image to start. Oh dear. That's not good.

And then seeing Ethel... Just don't attack that one, Ethel. Which one has Mirror Image? The north westerly one? No, the one to the in the middle. So if it's like one, two, three, it would be the two. The one in the middle. So if it's like one, two, three, it would be the two. One in the middle from top to bottom.

I tried to make that as complicated as possible. There's two middles. There's two middles there. Well, if you think there's one, two, three. It's like diagonal billing. Who's on the top? Who's on the left? All right, so mirror image was two actions, All right, so mirror image was two actions,

and then he steps down to the southern part of the room. Okay. And now it is Ethel's turn. Good initial, Ethel. I get a little bonus. Okay, great. Well, I'm glad I don't have to look. I was trying to look up ways I could shove this guy out of the way.

You mostly just shove. Okay, Ethel is going to slide. I put a little condition on him to denote mirror image. Ethel is going to kind of dart, you know, bivvying and bobbing. He's going to slide around to the northwest corner of this room and provoke from this guy if he has an attack of opportunity. Okay, so you don't actually walk through his space, you just kind of zippity-doo. He doesn't, if

he does have an attack of opportunity, he doesn't use it. You haven't seen the denizens of Lang incorporate that yet, but you don't know if these are special denizens, but he lets you slide right past. He's like, ah! Okay, and I'm gonna do a double slice for my final two actions. One with the warhammer and one with the scimitar.

Come on. Vorpal, snicker snack. Orange is the scimitar, to be myself honest. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. But does it take the multiple attack penalty? No. Oh, neither slice does. Great.

Yeah, for double slice, you swing twice with each of your weapons in your hands, and then you go to your full attack bonus. And then your iterative attack then goes down two steps. It's a third penalty. Got it. Okay, well, that is a natural 16 from the scimitar. That's going to be a 34. Okay. And a natural 4 on the warhammer, so it's going to be a 23.

Uh, okay. Completely lost my AC here. You said 23 and what was the other one? 34. Alright, the 23 misses, the 34 hits. Alright, so we're just hit with the scimitar. That's a lot

of damage. Not really. I rolled a 3. So it's going to's a lot of damage. Not really. I rolled a three. So it's going to be nine points of damage. Oh! That can't be right. Are you using the additional damage dice? For striking? It's 2d6.

Plus six is what I have. Yeah. Striking makes it 2d6 instead of 1d6. Is it agile? Oh. It is agile. Is it a scimitar? It is. No. Oh. Oh. It is agile. It is no.

Oh. No. I see it's got forceful and sweep. Oh. Okay. Yeah, forceful, magical, and sweep. It is not agile. Yep.

So that is Ethel's turn. Roots. Roots. Magoots. It is now the other Denison the Blank's turn. Roots. Magoots. It is now the other Denizen of Lings turn. The one next to you is actually

going to step back and is going to cast Mirror Image. The one at the bottom is going to cast Mirror image. I'm shouting back Battlefield. There's 12 of them!

There were three. Now there's 12. It's going to cast mirror image and then create a sort of blocked path here. It's going to move to the north so that anyone that comes in is going to have to deal with the two of them. It's a very blocked path here. It's going to move to the north so that anyone that comes in is going to have to deal with the two of them. It's a very interesting setup here.

Obviously, it seems like they don't have an attack of opportunity, but they have created a bit of a bottleneck situation here that every one single file on that staircase is going to have to pass by them or deal with them before they move to the one in the back. You know Ethel can hang, but with

mirror image, it's going to be a little tricky. But they're all done now, so you get around to see what you can do. It is Atticus's turn. Oh, for Christ's sake. What a horrible goddamn situation. For real.

Yeah, I mean, they're closing off the door, and nobody can get in there. Shit's sake. Is this to the north, Troy, center of the northern wall? Is that an open doorway? That's a door that is slightly ajar and almost hanging on its hinges, like someone got thrown into it and broke the door. Got it. Shit.

All right. Atticus is going to take one step up because he hasn't really gotten a look in this room. So he's going to take a step up and get a look. And he sees immediately that there's two creatures right there. You see eight of them. You see eight of them. They're just like all overlapping in the same spot. It's going to be very disorienting.

Very disorienting. Okay. Man. In that case, he's going to use what I believe to be... Yeah, he's going to use a spell that is going to home in, I would think, on the actual denizen, regardless of their mirror images. So he is going to cast electric arc.

So he steps up there and he just starts this incantation and his paws start glowing this blue crackling and then he puts it out and two hands attack two creatures at the same time and they home in directly on the one that is not a mirror image.

And yeah, so it's a basic reflex save. So I just need a reflex save from both of them. Okay. The one at the top of the room rolls a natural one. Amazing. Nice. And then the other one rolls a 32. A bit of a...

Natural one and a 32. A bit of a... Natural 1 and a 32. Okay. Unbelievable. So that is... I've been rolling like shit for the past month on this shit. That is 4 points of damage to the one that rolled the 32 and 16 points of damage to

the one that rolled the natural 1. Wow. Nice. Dang. It sears through and directly hits the real creature. The real creature. All right. And that is his turn. You said 16, right?

And four. Okay, and that's the one that Ethel had hit. Okay, great. Wait, wait. The one that Ethel had hit took four or 16? 16. All right, so Atticus is going to be like, they're right in the front right here.

He's pointing forward like, take it out. Focus your fire. And it's Suki's turn. That's when you hear Suki. You're behind Eris on the stairwell, and you just hear, I mean, imagine the stairwell is very, very thin. There's like a wall around you.

You can't see into the room yet, but you just hear spells, Ethel's war cry. What you you can't center of the room. Cindy! And I wish you were recording in person. Just give me a big old bear hug. Big high five. Trying to open up this area. And then I am.

Fuck it. I'm gonna do wild shape and I am going to rip out of my dress and turn into a large sized grizzly bear. What? Try to find that paw in as fast as you can. What? Oh, I can. I can find

a bear skin rug. Oh, hell yeah. I'm a dead bear. That's right. Large, in the center of the room. And you just, yeah. The table smashes under your weight. Splinters as you grow. My jaws just spit flying everywhere.

But I can't do anything, because that's my last two actions. But now I'm a bear. Oh, no. Okay, all right. So so Suki the bear. Perfect. Suki bear. I will give you control of that bearskin rug, and it is Eris's turn.

Well, it's a bearskin rug. All right, so I can't see them yet. I heard you, Ethel, say that there were three, and now there are 12 of them. So therefore, I cast mirror, Ethel, say that there were three, and now there are 12 of them. So therefore, I cast Mirror Image on myself, so there are four of me. And then I want to move into the room, just in case I need to give Ethel maybe some extra eyes. So I'm going to run past these two and maybe go right here. Ah, okay.

Right next to Suki. On the other side of Suki the bear. Hell yeah. Go to the far wall. God. You don't like that? No, this is why I love 2E movement and the AOO thing. Just like you can actually have fun.

As opposed to just getting bottlenecked into a doorway and not being able to do fucking anything. I love that you can just run through these characters and get into an interesting fighting position. Yeah, look at already how much the battlefield has changed. Okay, great. Mirror image and you had enough movement to get

over there, right? Oh, I have 25 feet. So that's 5, 10, 15. Okay, so maybe I go like here. On the other side of Suki. Next to this dentist. Okay, great. And now it is

Aldo's turn to finish out the round. Aldo is behind Pepsi. Aldo is going to take his last remaining infusion held in reserve and prepare and drink a moderate cheetah's

elixir which will give him a bonus 10 feet of movement and he's going to run up the stairs with the incredible alacrity and he's going to use his final action to throw a

dread ampule at the feet of the jessica of lang uh right next to him there's a little wall there um on the stairs but you can hit the one uh to the north from where you're standing okay that's the one that's taking the most damage. Alright, yes, I will throw at that one. Awesome. That is a 35 to hit. Yo, that is a hit.

Not a crit. Roll a d4. Oh, right. Ah, yes. Oh, motherf. Ah, yes. Oh, motherfucker. One. Okay, that is a hit. Nice. Awesome.

Okay. That is 12 points of damage and four points of splash damage to his buddy there adjacent to him. Okay. Nice. And the target is frightened one until the beginning of my next turn. Heck yeah. Frightened

one. Okay. Also Troy I want to say Pepsi is back on Suki's person. She hasn't commanded Pepsi to do anything. Okay. Let's do that little white flag. I'm frightened I'm surrendering.

And I'll just move Pepsi off the map until you want him to be back in. All right, great. Solid round one. Let's move to round two, and we start with the denizen of Lang that is all the way to the south next to Suki the Bear. Looks like Suki the bear is going to have a spell cast on her.

Do you gain attack of opportunity as a bear? No. I sure wish I did. Then go ahead and give me a will save. Oh, dude. God. All right. Wait.

Hold on. I've got to get back to my page. I keep all my stats, so that's easy, but... Uh... A 24? It's a fail. As if the length says sweet bear. Sweet bear, there's some honey over there in the corner.

Go and find it. Go and eat all the honey, you fucking dumb bears. And with that failure, you have to immediately follow that suggestion. What corner? Where is he pointing?

Way over here. Cool. Go eat that honey, you dumb fucking bear. Did I say that by calling me a dumb fucking bear, that is an act of aggression? He is not.

It was quite aggressive. I think that was pretty aggressive. I heard a lot of snickering and laughing. He's being much nicer than I am. I just think it's funny that he calls you stupid. Well, I think the failure just shows how stupid you are. Because that's how the character is talking to you, and you still do it. Yeah.

Because you're so dumb. Yep. So, yeah, this is going to, I mean, if someone doesn't take you out of this, this is going to take you out of the combat. Wait, completely? Yeah, because it lasts for a minute or until the target has completed the finite suggestion. Okay, but hold on. There's no honey over there.

There's no honey, though. We've done this before. The bear would simply be like... I'm going to let you figure out how you want to interpret it. If you can sleep with yourself. Okay. Tonight, we'll figure that out later. I still have one action left.

All right, you dumb bear. Good job. You're dumb. You realize that the spell, the wording in the spell for suggestion begins with your honeyed words? That's probably where I got the idea. I'm sorry, honey. Suki the bear, go eat your honey.

It has one action left, and I think I'm just going to move. I'm going to move right behind Suki the bear, just make it a little bit more difficult for anybody to get to him. And now it's Ethel's turn. So, Ethel, you're about 10 feet away from a guy who's taken the most damage, and he also has a frightened one, but he has four mirror images on him as well.

Yeah, so Ethel is going to slide back to position himself between the two denizens of Lang in the north half of the room, and then I'm going to do a double slice on the guy in the north. Okay. And hopefully I will hit, and then hopefully I will hit him.

Okay, I rolled two natural 17s. Nice. Oh, amazing. All right, so start with a D4 on the first attack. D3. Oh, yeah, the skid and bust one. Skid hit him. One.

Whoa! That's the scimitar! What's the total on that? Just to make sure it's not a crit. So with the scimitar, that'll be a 35 to hit. All right, not a crit, but a hit. And then the second one would also be a 35, assuming it's the same to hit. No, that one's actually a 36.

Oh, still a hit. Give me a... D4. Yeah. Four. So it destroys an image. Destroys an image. And then I'll give you some scimitar damage here.

That's slightly better. 11 points of damage. Okay. And that is my turn. Great. 11 points of damage. Let's check this guy out. Perfect.

Okay, perfect. Now it is Modena's and Alang's turn. Of course, you're standing right there. And that's going to make it a little bit difficult for them to cast without taking an AOL, but they've got fucking Mirror Image, so I'm not too worried about it. Okay, first guy is going to reach out

and attempt to touch you with a spell. So do you want to take your attack of opportunity? Yes, I do. I'm going to do it with the scimitar, even though it's less damage, because I'm going to hope for that natural. Come on, get it, dude. Please.

Come on, bro. Natural 19. Oh! Danwani, that's a crit by that thing. That might still be a crit, but you could disrupt the spell. 37. 37 is a crit.

You disrupted the spell! But now you've got to roll a d3, and you've got to roll a 1 on a d3. Do I still disrupt it if I critically destroy one of his images? Damn it. 2. Damn it!

Dude, that mirror image is humongous. Yeah. I mean, that would... Oh, imagine if I disrupted a Vorpal. You wouldn't want to play anymore. I like the mirror image. I chopped his fucking head off! It's so hard for that to happen.

That would have been so cool. All right, so I'm going to cast... I'm telling you right now, just for transparency's sake, I'm going to cast Chill Touch on you. So give me a Fortitude save. Change of dice. 32.

32 is a success. So you'll take half. Bless you. Bless you. Thank you. Bless you. Eight points of cold damage. Okay. Chill touch.

And then he's going to step back. And then the other one is going to also cast a spell on you. Go ahead and you can't use your reaction because you've already used it. So just give me a will save. Will save. Okay. Okay. 26.

That's a fail. This is the one I tried to get on Joe. This is Phantom Pain. So you're going to right out the gate take seven points of mental damage. And the target takes full initial and persistent and you're sickened one. Sickened one.

Yep. If you recover from being sickened, the persistent damage will end because you're also going to take 1d4 persistent mental damage. Okay. Okay, and then it is also going to move to the... It's going to step to the north just above you. Okay, very cool. Now it is Atticus's turn.

Oh, Troy, Troy, Troy. Oh, I stood in a line. Fuck! You fool! Yes! I was going to do 17 other things! I stood in a line. Until you did that.

His foolish friend, stepping in front of Ethel, put himself directly in a line, right in front of Atticus. One, two. And this is just a line. I didn't even need to do that because he couldn't take a reaction. I could have just fucking moved. Instead I took the step. Dumb.

Once again, the electricity flares around Atticus's hands, but instead of arcing out to two different targets, it is extremely bright. You have to avert your eyes as this powerful bolt tears straight through the two of them with a casting of lightning bolt.

Dang! Fantastic. Go ahead and roll reflex saves. And I believe that mirror image doesn't matter, right? Correct. It's just a line. It hits everything in there, All the mirror images in it. It doesn't destroy mirror images,

but it's, yeah. I don't think, but it's, yeah, basic reflex save. All right, first reflex save is a 30. Second reflex save is a 38. Really? Yeah.

For fuck's sake. What a miserable game. What a miserable fucking GM. That was a really... That was a fucking... Out of this world... Out of this fucking world spectacular roll for damage, too. You fucking asshole.

Just give me half of it. All right, so the one that's saved takes 15 points of damage. The other one takes none. That was 31 points of damage. The other one takes none. That was 31 points of damage. Oh, no. That's the best lightning bolt I've ever cast. And I'm going to leave with my last action. And I'm never playing again.

I'm up. He's going to slowly walk away. Yeah, he's going to move down past Aldo and get out of range of attack. Okay. Suki. Suki the bear. You want some honey? Hey. You want some honey?

Suki. Get her honey. She goes over to the corner. It's literally like five feet of movement from my large creature, and she gets there, and it is an empty corner, and there's no honey.

You better roll a perception check. Take an action to roll a perception check. You're looking for the... He was very convincing. He said there was honey over there. And she's gonna be really, really mad if there's not honey over here. Mad enough to tear someone to shreds.

That's a 30. Damn it. You feel pretty confident that there's no honey. Do I really? Yeah. So I am going to be really mad. And you see this big lumbering bear It was like chill for a second

It walked over, it's sniffing around It's like, there's no honey over here And you hear a And as it turns around Because I'm a large creature I do have ten foot reach And I am going to bite At the denizen of Lang

in the lower quadrant who is 10 feet from me once I turn around. So you go over there, you look for the honey, you don't see it and with your final action you go to bite the denizen of Lang. I'm so hungry. Oh, now there's honey in the corner. That's weird.

Who put that there? It was GC31. That's so weird. Look who found the honey. I turned back around. I sniffed for the honey. Damn, it was almost a nat 20. Oh, I'm a honey bear. Honey badger don't... What is that?

Honey badger don't care. Honey badger don't care. That's going to be... 24 Uh, that's gonna be... Uh, da-da-da-da. Uh, 24 to hit. That's a miss. Cool. All right, that's my turn.

That was his goal, to make your way to turn. And it succeeded. And now it is Eris's turn. Eris, you see Suki the bear go, mumbling something about honey under her bear breath, then she turns to bite at the denizen of Lang and misses. What do you do? I turn and look at

that denizen that tried to mentally thwart my bare friend. I don't know how to turn and roll 20, but like, you know, theater of the mind. And I use a skill action to do-do-do-do-do to give it an intimidating glare and you're immediately demoralized against me.

Really? I don't have to know anything? It's a free feat that I have called Intimidating Glare. I demoralize with a mirror glare. When I do demoralize, it loses the auditory trait and gains the visual trait, and you don't take a penalty if the creature doesn't understand your language. I think you still have to roll, though.

You just don't have the penalty. Oh, I just roll intimidate? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's a 24. Okay, and what is the DC? It's my will DC? It's your will DC.

Oh, that is a fail. Oh, yes! No, no, I mean you fail. Oh, come on. Would that be more specific? Wait a minute. Troy, I'm with you. I'm sorry, the test results are positive.

That was a fail for you, not me, who just rolled. I like when you get blood work from the doctor and they specify, like, positive is good. Well, you were doing the roll. It was against my will, DC. That's why I said it was a fail. Troy was right. You all are wrong. You did the roll.

He said it's a fail. I think they were also reacting to his tone, which felt like he was disappointed. It's a fail. I think he was disappointed because he's rooting for you. I'm rooting for you guys. Oh boy. No, you're not.

No, you're not. Sydney says and spits on her own bedroom floor. I don't believe you at all, so you know what I'm going to do? Since this guy is in a corner by itself, I'm going to use Vomit Swarm, which is a 30-foot cone. There you go.

And you need to make a basic reflex save. Look what you made her do. You're making me barf bugs on your butt. Nobody puts Denny in a corner. It could be barf bugs on your butt. Don't write Vomit Swarms. She did that all the time. It was awesome.

A middling reflex save. 35. Yeah, reflex is not the means by which to attack them. I just wasted around doing that. Oh, cool. Well, this has been super fun. Wait, Kate, is it a basic reflex save, and was that a critical success?

It said basic reflex save. I don't think it was a critical success. My class DC is 26, and you said 35. Yeah, so that would be a regular, so it's half damage. Yeah, just another regular success. Just a regular old success. You know what? Oh, you know, I never use D8s. I, like, don't know what they look like. Okay, that's a special. You know what? Oh, you know, I never use D8s.

I, like, don't know what they look like. Okay, that's a one and an eight. Okay, that's a good balance. So, nine. Nine points of damage. By half. So, four. Four.

So, four. We're all going to get new dice for the show, too. Oh, yeah? I'm tired of everybody rolling single dice for it. We all do it, too. I've got another I'm tired of everybody rolling single dice for it. We all do it, too. I've got another one of these, probably, but... Give me 45 minutes.

One, two, three. We should all have dice. We're professionals. We'll provide you with dice. I have dice. I've got plenty of dice. I have it. I just gotta go get it.

You just rolled 3D4, and I saw you roll three single dice. Same die three times. Also, some of these dice, some of these dice, they're so nice, you're not supposed to roll them

with other dice. You're supposed to roll them alone. That's the thing. The dice are so nice, you rolled them twice. We're right. They broke her dice. We have to get a new dice.

You should get us, like, more of these little trays so we can have a tray for each of our dice. Well, I'll have you know that glass cannon dice trays may be available by the time of the airing

of this show. Oh. They just arrived at McDermott's apartment. Oh! Oh, McDermott! Uno Dice Trace. And I will sell them to you at cost. Oh, God, I hate myself right now.

What did you do? What did you do? Roll mirror image. No. D4? No, no, no. This was a cone job. That's an air effect thing.

Yeah, you're just rolling that if you're rolling a targeted thing. Makes sense. Okay. Fun. Fun times. It's Aldo's turn. Aldo, what are you thinking? Aldo is, yeah, I think he's just gonna do what he normally does,

which is just throw stuff at people. So he is going to toss a blight bomb at the Jessica of Lang closest to him. Okay. That gives an angle on it. Is that the one that critically saved against Atticus's lightning bolt? No, that was the one

in the back. So which one is Jessica of Lang? That's the one I hit before. They all are. No, one of them is Jessica of Lang. The other one is Langston Hughes. And the other one is Scott Lang. Who's Scott Lang?

Didn't he murder his wife? His last name is Lang? Yes. Don't act exasperated with me because I didn't know Ant-Man's real last name. You are asking a question? You are a classic Comic-Con geek. You are extremely good friends with an editor at Marvel.

That doesn't mean I know the... Because I don't know Ant-Man's real last name. You should take an interest in Nick's work. I think you'd appreciate it. Nick doesn't work on Ant-Man. Bad friend behavior. Bad friend. That's a 26 to hit.

26 to hit. Misses. Their AC is 27 must be I believe a 37 was a crit 26 is a miss he is going to take 4 points

of poison splash damage roll a d4 no it's a it's an area of effect thing that's right so it's a miss I just take that no matter what. Yep.

Okay. All right. And I'm going to throw an Alchemist's Fire with my second attack. That is a plus 11. That is a 27. 27 hits. All right. Awesome. So now would be the d4 okay now we need to

d4 one oh all right amazing amazing uh okay 8 plus 4 so that's 12 points of fire damage

and he has 2 points of of fire damage, and he has two points of persistent fire damage on him that will tick on his turn. And with my last action, I'm

going to just, uh, I'm gonna move a little bit. I'm going to move into the corner of the room. Okay. Sliding into the corner of the room as we end round two, we go into round three. It is Denizel Lang, choose no return.

He's the one that suggested Suki go find some honey, and then Suki... I believe this is Scott Lang. Scott Lang. Scott Lang. Scott Lang. Alright, so Suki is still chilling there he is going to

slide up on Suki the bear get right up in your business and swing a kukri at you and that is a natural one on the kukri attack you fool oh man this could be huge And that is a natural one on the Kukri attack. You fool. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, man, this could be huge. Ice cold. This could be huge. Ice cold. And fumble. Okay, this one from Tom in Madison, Wisconsin. Hi, Tom. Tom.

Walk it off. I'd love to go to Madison, Wisconsin. Troy, let's go to Madison, Wisconsin. I love Madison, Wisconsin. Hi, Tom. Walk it off. I'd love to go to Madison, Wisconsin. Troy, let's go to Madison, Wisconsin. I love Madison, Wisconsin. I would love to go to Madison. Your attack misses due to terrible cramps in your laying legs, wings, or whatever sort of extremities you use to move around.

You take a minus two circumstance penalty to your AC. Why would you do this? Oh my God. Flat footed. Yeah, so you just take a minus two penalty. Yeah, you are effectively flat footed until you move a total of 40 feet.

That's called walk it off. So this is a small room. Probably not going to happen in this combat. Well, it's cumulative, though, right? Right, it's cumulative. So if you can remember, keep tacking it up and it'll go away. It's actually pretty cool. I like that fumble.

Yeah, it's interesting. But yeah, it was 1d4 times 20 feet. I was like, why are you making me do math? But I just rolled a 2, so it's 40 feet of distance. All right, it has one attack left, and it will try to stab you again. Suki, I imagine your AC is different now. All right, it's a decent little roll here. You tell me if a 30 hits the bear's AC.

Let me just check. Oh, no, it's not even that good, even when it's heightened, which it is. But no, that's a hit, yeah. Okay, not a crit, though. No, not a crit. And that was definitely mapped up, right, Troy? Yes.

Thank you for checking my work. It is going to be 15 points of regular slashing, and you're also going to take 1d6 persistent bleed at the end of your turn. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Yeah, this kukri slices. And dices. Uh, I'm just going to put the old bleedy bleeds in there.

Okay, good round for that guy. Good round. Round of applause. It's Ethel's turn. Ethel, we need a big round out of you here. That mirror image has really slowed that combat down. It really has. So I'm going to go for, I believe this is Jessica Lange, Northwest. Sure.

I'm going to go double slice, scimitar, warhammer. You didn't. No, but I rolled a natural seven and a natural two. So that might hit. The warhammer is a 25

and the scimitar, yeah, so they both miss. Ugh. Ugh! Okay. Ugh! In utter frustration, Ethel is going to shove. Drop both weapons. You cut your own head off. No. He's not quite so

frustrated. But he is frustrated enough that he's going to just shove. I believe it's Langston Hughes that's standing in front of him. Try to shove him through the door to the north. Okay. So this is going to be an athletics check. It has the attack penalty

so the MAP will apply against your fortitude DC. Against my fort dick? Against your fort dick. That's what I call him behind the scenes. Okay. That's what I call him, behind the scenes. Okay, that's going to be... I'm shoving with the Warhammer, by the way. It's going to be a 24 to shove.

That is a fail. Okay, nothing happens. Okay, not a critical fail, so you don't fall and look foolish in front of your friends. In front of your friends. Oh! Come, come, come, come. All right, so another brutal round for Ethel,

and all the mirror images are still there. It is the denizens of Leng's turn. Oh, I take mental damage. Yes, you do. Is it 1d4 or just 4? Yeah, I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you hard. Here we go.

I can't pick up a d4 to save my life. Four points of mental damage. That's max if you're following along at home. There's no flat check to get out of that, is there? Yeah, it's persistent damage. Wait, actually, I think the persistent damage for Phantom Pain, if the target recovers from being sickened, the persistent damage ends and the spell ends.

But I wonder, there's no reason to think you don't still roll the flat check. I think this is just another way that it ends. If someone can remove sickened, it ends. But I think you still would get the flat check because it doesn't say the only way you can remove the persistent damage. Doesn't matter, I rolled a natural too.

That's how I read it. So, we'll see Cannon Fodder next week. Alright. Boopity boop bop boop boop. I am going to Oh, you and your fucking attacks of opportunity are incredibly lame.

This one's going to take a step away from you and then is going to move around you to flank and then it's going to take a step away from you and then is going to move around you to flank. And then it's going to take one swing with the kukri at your flat-footed AC. Middling. A 28 to hit.

Yes, it is. Here we go, then. That is going to be nine points of slashing plus persistent bleed. So now you're going to have persistent mental and persistent bleed. Let's put the heart and the bloody eye

on you. That's two different kinds of persistent damage. And then the one to the north will also hmm is also going to strike out at you with the kukri. I need a crit.

Hold on a second. Are you having two of them go before I go? Yeah, is that okay? I felt like it was creature Only because they were on a higher initiative than you? I felt like it was creature, Ethel, creature, me. I don't remember that. You felt wrong.

Too much 69. I think't remember the two. You felt wrong. Too much 69. I think you got the energy of a brain. I really do. It goes Denizen of Lang number two, Ethel, DOL one, DOL three, then Atticus, Suki, Eris, Aldo. Wow. So Jessica of Lang, Langston Hughes, then Scotland. I think this is what's confusing you is all these names. All right, then Scott Lang. I think this is what's confusing you is all these names. Alright, Kukri.

If you would watch an Ant-Man movie, maybe things would fall into place a little more. This battle would be different. It missed with the Kukri. Nice. So it will try another Kuk because I really want to hit you. Actually, you know what?

Instead of the Kukri, just to mix things up, I was going to try and bite you. And it's going to miss, I think, 22 against your flat-footed. Miss. Okay. Forgot about the bite. The bite's fun. No biting.

No biting. Atticus, if you'd like to go, it's your turn officially now. Atticus will reach around to the... grab a part of his coat. And with a flourish, because he just can't help his showmanship, he's going to pull it around himself and vanish with an invisibility cloak. And then he is going to slip unseen into the room. Ooh.

And he's going to move all the way to here, which is on the other side of the room. Ooh. And he's going to move all the way to here, which is on the other side of the room. So he's going to slip through Ethel's Square between two enemies and get to the wall on the far side. Now,

he's invisible. You do whatever you want with that in terms of... So I didn't move half speed and I didn't roll stealth checks. I figured in the wildness of the melee, they might not notice that happen. Okay. Great. Suki. Suki the bear.

Suki hears Ethel go, no bite. And Suki in her bear brain goes, bite. And she's going to try to bite twice at this denizen that she is now locked in combat with. Uh, yeah, that's gonna be, uh, 31 to hit. Yeah, that'll do. Noice, and that's gonna be... What's my damage die for this bear bite?

My jaws, 2d8 nice It has a plus doesn't it 17 Yeah plus 9 Oh Jesus 17 damage on the first attack And then second attack here we go I believe that was

Yeah that's a 30. Another hit. With a minus five. Oh, no. Sorry. I'm looking at my bear stats and it doesn't have my stuff on it. 25. 25 is a miss.

Those stats were a little too bear. I'm going to take a third attack. Why not? It's highly suggestive Because it's foolish That's why not I'm doing it What's the minus on the third Minus ten

I'm not going to hit Let's try Maybe you'll nat 20 I shit you not Give her the scimitar but let's try. Maybe you'll nat 20. I shit you not. Give her the scimitar. Suki. Toss it to her.

I throw the bear the scimitar just in time. Catch it in her mouth. Like Sif in Dark Souls? Yes, like Sif in Dark Souls. It rolled onto it as you were like, nat 20. So that's going to be a 36. No, minus 10.

This is big here. This is important. This is the difference. It's a miss. 26. So it's just a hit. But a natural 20 is always a hit. Correct. So it's just a hit.

It is not a crit. I don't know. Wait. I mean, is it plus? No, doesn't a natural 20 raise the success of it? I can't. it No, doesn't a natural 20 raise the success of it? Yes, but I think a natural 20 in her case is a miss

What is your bonus? The bonus is a plus 16, so it would be a 36 No, it would be plus 6 on this attack So it's a 26, which is a miss So it's elevated to a hit Oh, what a bummer Yeah, that's why you don't do the third attack Though, to be fair which is a miss, so it's elevated to a hit. What a bummer!

That's why you don't do the third attack! Though, to be fair, against most other creatures, that still would be a crit. These are just really high AC. And I'm still doing some damage. It's not a crit, but some. Yeah.

Does this guy have any mirror images? Oh, does he? Yeah, he's got four. Oh, yeah, you didn't roll the first one. Fucking dumb game. All right, so let's go back to your initial 17 points of damage. God damn it. And roll a fucking D4 and then throw that D4 through your ceiling. And just say one, no matter what you roll. Right, no matter what you roll, just say one.

It's a three. All right, so you're clearly not understanding the assignment, but go on. No, you're playing the right way. All right, now roll a D3, which is a D6 divided by two. A six. All right, so two images have disappeared. And that's good. That's good.

That is great. Chomp, chomp, chomp. She's chomping away. Chomping images away. Chomp, chomp, chompy chomp. And now it is Eris's turn. Damn it. You knew it was coming.

You knew it was coming, Eris. Well, I don't know. I mean, like, you know, hindsight. I wish I casted Countless Eyes on Ethel before. I'm so sorry, Suki. It's a bleed damage. Speaking of bleed, Suki, take six points of bleed damage.

Oh my god. I rolled a six on a d6, and then can you give me a flat check to see if you stopped the bleed? She has bleed. We forgot to do her bleed. Seven. Seven, okay.

So you're still bleeding. Do you know what? I'm not explaining anything I'm doing anymore because I don't want any words to trigger any reminders about anything. The thing that's great about this game is how good it is for a podcast. That's true. Okay, yeah. With all that regret, I'm going

to reach out to Ethel and be like, I'm so sorry I didn't do this sooner, and cast countless eyes on you, so you're at least not like the flanked bonus, or D bonus, is gone now. Thanks! He says as countless eyes

appear on his body. I feel like maybe you're used to it now, and maybe you're like, oh yeah, I'm a little comfy with so many eyes on me. Don't tell me how to feel about the eyes on my body. And then Mr. Goth, kill it! And then I'm also gonna cast my Needle of Vengeance focus spell slash hex with one action that I have left.

And the Needle of Vengeance will be on Ethel. So if anyone attacks Ethel, it'll need a needle in there. All right. So Ethel has a million eyes on him and a needle of protection at his back. And it is Aldo's turn. Okay. Aldo. So I, I, I don't know if we did this already, but I want to get a, if I could do a knowledge check.

I just want to find out if they have any weaknesses to any particular kinds of damage. Yeah, you've fought them enough that I can just tell you without spending the action. They're immune to cold. They're resistant to critical hits and precision damage. Resistant to critical hits even. Wow. This is one thing that I've really been enjoying Pathfinder 2nd Edition, but this is one thing that really has bummed me out.

The entire time I've been playing, as far as I know, we've never run into anyone who has been vulnerable to any one kind of type of damage, and this is one thing, an area in which I would shine, being able to do all kinds of different types of damage. I was promised that this would be a thing, and so far it has not happened one time. Well, that's not true. You single-handedly completely changed the Wraith combat

because it was weak to light, and you were able to make that bottled sunlight, and that made it inept the whole combat that was huge yeah that's true that's a little different than what i'm talking about though it's just like that fire damage persistent damage that like ticks on every turn getting that bonus damage like every time this is something we haven't run into so yeah i've seen very few monsters you're right they're like they're weak to fire. They're weak to acid. Weak to electricity.

When people were selling the alchemist class to me, that was one of the selling points, was that this is something I could take advantage of, and it's never happened. Who are these carnival barkers? I have to stop talking to people. Who are the alchemist class? Only $5.

All those alchemist apologizers. Hang on. Just to back up for a second. Are you telling me that this whole time after you sold this scimitar to us real hard that I can't decapitate any one of these guys? They're resistant critical hits. That just means they take X amount less damage. They're resistant.

Yeah. You still cut off their head. It's just they're alive a little bit longer. Yeah. Just cut off my fucking head. You guys hear the story, it's probably apocryphal that when they chopped

Marie Antoinette's head off in the guillotine, it landed face up and she said, did it happen yet? No. Stop saying shit like that before I'm going to sleep, man.

I know, that's creeping me out. Dude, that thing, man. Yeah, you can't talk. It's totally apocryphal. You can't talk, you don't have any lungs. I saw, if you could read lips lips maybe you could see it

maybe she went did it happen yet in French I saw a viper with its head cut off and the head this was on TikTok or something and the head was laying next to the decapitated body and the head opened its mouth up and bit the body

and the body started writhing like it was still like going through the motion of being Thank you for the additional nightmare It just went It bit the body and the body was like fuck Who did that? Oh just your decapitated head

Oh my god How did its head get separated from its body? I assume someone chopped it off It was a vorpal sound Watch what these dumb snakes do Did its head get separated from its body? I assume someone chopped it off. It was a vorpal snake. And then went like this. It was a vorpal snake. On TikTok. Watch what these dumb snakes do.

That's what they did. Man, don't be using snakes like that for your TikToks. Seriously. Not right. Leave the snakes alone. I see a lot of animal murder. What is your TikTok? What are you using?

I don't know why the algorithm has chosen me, because I immediately go, ah! That one I watched, though, because I was like, what's going on here? Oh, no! What's going on here? Well, it comes to his head over there, God! I don't care for that. All right, I'm going to throw, I'm going to attempt to throw another blight bomb at the citizen Jessica of Lang.

What? Closest to me. Actually, yeah. I guess that's my only shot here. Natural one. Oh, boy. Oh, God. We could have gone to the show. We just skipped this one.

Pretend it didn't happen. Let's just play Blades of the Dark. Yeah, please. Where's the D6s? Let me roll. All right. This one from Ben in Chilliwack, Canada. Yep.

Chilliwack. Chilliwack. Chilliwack. From Ben. A sense of impending doom. God. You feel a sudden sense of impending doom. Worse yet, everyone else can sense it on you, too. If this is drawn by a PC, you are doomed one until your next rest.

NPCs may notice the bad luck you give off and comment on it or avoid you entirely. And then there's another thing if it's pulled by the GM. But this was pulled by a player. A sense of impending doom. So you're doomed one, a condition that carries over from Dreamland to the Material Plane. Great.

Until your next rest. Until your next rest. Oh, God. We're going to rest in this room. Yeah. In the Dreamlands. Okay. All right, so that did not make me feel good.

I now am going to throw an alchemist fire at the same person. Okay. All right. That is a 28 to hit. That's a hit. And how many images are there? There are two. No, it's all four because you keep hitting it right

oh right okay can you guys see what it says because I've had my virtual tabletop went down 45 minutes ago and it won't reload how many images guys it's a little fist yeah that's four okay so

I rolled a three so one image is gone. He takes four points of fire splash damage. Okay. And I'm going to throw a lesser alchemist fire with my final attack, just in the hopes of getting rid of another image. That is a natural 19. That is a 25 to hit. That's a miss.

My god. But they take another two. One point of splash damage. One point of splash. I'm making notes because I can't use VTT. That is the end of round three. As we go into round four, there were three of these denizens of Leng,

and mirror image completely changed the combat. Suki is laid out some bites. Eris is doing some crazy magic. Ethel cannot hit the broad side of a barn. Neither can I. Neither can I. And I've got a plan. Yeah, Joe, the broad side of a barn. Neither can I. Neither can I. And I've got a plan. Yeah, Joe, as usual, has a plan.

This takes four rounds to execute. It does. Aldo is hitting on the first one and then missing on the other two. What is going on in this place? We will not find out because we're never playing again. Good night, everybody.

We will find out. We'll find out next week because of my plan. I guess I'll never see you all again. This was fun. Yeah, so much for the studio. Bye, everybody. I'm not signing the lease that I signed three weeks ago. Come on, I'm the one that's doomed. You guys should show up.

Good night, everybody. Good night! Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glasscannon.