The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 71 – That Time of the Moon

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

With the leng ghoul defeated, the heroes look for a way to enter the prison compound. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/hjPGhtBkhzQ For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Price and participation may vary. Extras, taxes, and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment Good evening and welcome to Thursday Night Fun Factory. We're going to play some Pathfinder 2nd Edition this evening, as we do every Thursday. But next week, there will be no show on Thursday because we will be landing in sunny Denver, Sunshine State, where we'll be doing a show the following night in Boulder, Colorado, Skid. We've talked about this a couple times.

How excited are you that we're finally bringing you home and leaving you there? You know, you thought I will actually already be there waiting for you. I'm going out a little bit early because I'm just that excited. You joke saying calling it the sunshine state, but it's famously, you can, it's famous for having 300 days of sunshine a year on average. And odds are it will be sunny when we're, when we are there. I have never been more excited to do a show. Oh, man. I can't wait. I think my sister

is going to be there. At least one of them is going to be there. Maybe two of them. Really? Yeah. A bunch of my friends are coming. I don't think my dad is coming, but my stepmom might be there. I can't wait. It's going to be amazing.

Dender and April, come on. I mean, all of these famous friends we've heard about over the years. Skid, so many famous, hilarious. Nick Shelton's going to be there. His brother Jason, who was the inspiration for Token on South Park. I think I've told you that story. Yeah. There's, yeah, my friend Dave Flomber is going to be there.

Del is going to be there, obviously. Obviously. Finally, Del doesn't have to fly. He doesn't have to fly anywhere. To go to a show. To walk there. My friend Rob. A lot of my friends are going to be there.

My friend John Bell, who used to do my D&D campaign in the attic back in middle school, he's going to be there, hopefully. Very excited. Yeah, I can't wait. We're going to have so much fun. And as I said last week, I'm sure by the time this is airing now, we are sold out. I'd be shocked if we weren't. But

hey, there may still be time to see us in St. Paul, Asheville, LA, and Seattle in both May and June. Head on over to glasscannonnetwork.com slash tour. Buy those tickets and come see us. It really is. Until you see it live, you've never really seen it.

It's a whole different experience. We have so much fun. And, I mean, you've got this exciting new cast now that we rocked in Philly that we're going to be rocking all year long. So please come out and see us. Here's what I want to talk about for banter today. Very quickly because I want to get into the show because I want to make sure that we cover everything to set up

whatever's going to happen in Boulder. Because I don't know what you guys are going to do tonight. But I have been reading I read books to Archer every night before bed and Dash as well. But we kind of have to separate. We're running a zone defense now with three children. And so he picks one story, and then I'll usually read from this, like, Avengers book that just, like, goes through everyone that the Avengers have ever been in the Avengers or has fought the Avengers. It's like A to Z.

It's like 300 pages. We're on C. like 300 pages. We're on C. And then I'll read, for the past few months, I've been reading this trade that I got him because he was into Thor.

And I was like, well, I'll buy you an old Thor book, one that's like, before you could like do nasty stuff in comics. Like in the 80s, there was a rule, you weren't allowed to like say bad words and stuff like that.

And I changed the words. Anyways, but we're reading the mighty Thor. It's a, it's by Walter Simonson. Yeah. Simonson run. Yeah.

So I, I never, I've never, I've seen, I think I saw the second, I saw Thor Ragnarok, but I never saw the first Thor. Never saw love and thunder.

I've seen him in the Avengers, but I never quite understood Thor. I'm not saying I fully understand him now, but I fucking love the whole Thor mythos. Like, I've learned so much that I never knew. I never knew Midgard was Earth. That's right.

Yep, there it is. You need to read. Hold on one second. Bye. Maddie has stepped out of frame and apparently fell asleep. What you need to read is the Prose Edda, which is the source of a lot of our knowledge of Norse mythology. Can I borrow that?

Sure. It is written, you should read it only because the author's name is Snorri Sturluson. Snorri Sturluson. Snorri Sturluson. There's also the Poetic Edda, which is the other source of a lot of our knowledge of Norse mythology, but the Prose Edda is short and it's fun.

Are there pictures? Hold on, let me grab a book too. Are we having a book off? You can get the Dall-Ears. Oh, whoa. Norse mythology. A guide to the gods, heroes, rituals, and beliefs. It is Acton Cthulhu.

Oh, cool. I got mythology. Look at that. A Guide to the Gods, Heroes, Rituals, and Beliefs by John Lewis. It's Acton Cthulhu. Oh, cool. I got a whoops. Am I reading? The other one is that actually you should get this because it's great for kids, is the Dallaire's book of Norse mythology and Greek mythology with these beautiful illustrations. The Greek one has always been in print. It was like a staple of my childhood, but the Norse one went out of print and has come back in print and is beautiful.

We ban the classics in my house. You ban the classics? Yes. The policy. Okay. That makes sense. That's on everybody. I don't have a book, but I have a knife.

Whoa. Whoa. I didn't know that was an option. It's Booker Knife Day. It's Booker. Kate, do you have a book or a knife? This room is still pretty empty because

I'm still figuring out what to put in here. But next to me, on my little dice plant tray, I've got the two... Oh! What the con was? Gen Con. We got them at Gen Con. No, Pax Unplugged.

They're these like little tiny like one-off books for Markborg one of them has like a solo slash micro game which is cool that we're gonna play

right Kate that we're gonna play and then like this one's got like a dungeon in it or something I don't know they're cool

and then I also got like this extra spells thing and then I also got a coin to flip back and forth. So if you ever roll 1d2, I flip my little creepy Markborg coin. Look at you. And anyway,

that's what I have next to me that is book and... Book adjacent. No knife. No knife. They're like square-ish. They're rectangular. They have covers and they have pages inside with words and pictures on them.

Sounds like a book to me. So that to me sounds like a book. It's no knife. You're so defensive. Well, you're coming for me again. I think what he's trying to say is you don't own any novels do you? That's what Joe is trying to say Listen, you guys

got me. I don't know how to read You're the Lea Michele of the Glass Cannon Podcast I just pretend that I know how to read The Lea Michele, amazing That's why when you're like, oh your spell has the incapacitate trait, I'm like, I don't know what those are. I just see squiggles.

Any other knives? Oh, yeah, I have a knife. Oh, nice. That's a good one. Damn, girl. Knife. Pull that out pretty quickly. Put that away.

That's a knife. Think about that next time you try to come for me, Joe. That's a knife. Pull that out pretty quickly. Put that away. That's a knife. That's a knife. Think about that next time you try to come to me, Joe. Joe has yet to show a book or a knife. I'm starting to think maybe Joe can't read or defend himself. Let it be known, Joe is vulnerable intellectually and physically. Book or knife? Vulnerable intellectually and physically.

Book or knife? Tonight we play our weekly game of book or knife. It's book or knife night. As is tradition. Joe, you're up next. I just grabbed a book that was in reach here. One of our favorites among at least Troy and I, I'm not sure which of you hasn't read this amazing sci-fi novel. Hyperion.

Oh, baby. I'm just going through the audio book. Oh, and that cover. It's really good. I've always loved this cover so much because to me, it just,

you look at it and you're like, oh, that's going to be a terrible book. And you have no idea how good this book is. It kind of looks like a Danielle Steele novel. Yeah, it looks like Danielle Steele, but it's about a metal monster. It's a metal spiky monster. Yeah, it looks like Fabio did the model for the guy on the cover.

But no, it's like – And I'm telling you – And it's cool too because I was such a big Canterbury Tales fan in high school, and it's largely inspired by it. Sydney, you don't know this one or haven't read this one yet? No, but I also do really like the Canterbury Tales, and now I'm looking that up. Joe, I love your book recommendations. So every time you make a recommendation, I do take it to heart. So I am adding that to my reading list.

Yeah, this one is like one of the most famous ever sci-fi novels. How's the audiobooks good? It's great. It's fantastic. It's really good. I recently started delving into audiobooks and I'm having a great time.

Oh, yeah. You just finished the Andy Serkis, the Andy Serkis Lord of the Rings, right? Andy Serkis reading The Hobbit. I have Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it's predictably amazing. But now I'm, of course, for Legacy of the Ancients listeners, I'm listening

to the Lonesome Dove. I'm reading it right now. I mean, the audiobook is so good. It's Lee Horsley. It's Matt Houston himself. Lee Horsley doing the audiobook. And it's way better than I would have expected

from Lee Horsley. It's really good. Sorry good sorry um yeah i just want to say the only thing that would be hilarious if you pull if you then opened hyperion and you were hiding a knife yeah if i was scripted that would have been perfect i was fast enough i just wanted to recommend an audio book to you matthew that is one of my favorite audio books i have ever experienced and it is the audio book version of bill bryson's a short history of nearly everything oh yeah i've read i've read that i read that as a book it's so good the audio book is so good the british guy that does it he's dead now he died it was so sad he's such a good narrator and it just it tells you this story of science in the world that is just unbelievable.

I added it to my wish list regardless because that's how seriously I take your recommendations. Awesome. Awesome. There you have it. Two knives. Two knives, three books tonight on Booker Knife. Joe, Troy, I can't

help but notice you didn't show us a book or a knife. I did. I showed that. Yeah, he showed a cult or something. I'm sorry. You showed Octung Cthulhu. Octung Cthulhu. Yeah.

These are modifious. They make a shiny book. I'll tell you that. Yeah, they make a good-looking book. They make a good-looking book. But yeah, that Thor story, thor is pretty cool yeah so i when i i don't know anything about any of the avengers i never read any of the comics really and i all i knew was like video games basically and then i saw thor because it's one of the first

ones it's like and i was like this has got to be stupid like thor you know god of thunder whatever and the movie was great. And I loved the Thor mythos. Like that's what it was. It really jumped out at me. I was like, this is so fascinating and it's so good for humor. It's just so rife with the ability for great comedy, for rich comedy, when you have like a God clashing with mortals in a real way. It's really awesome. Yeah. I was listening to a podcast that where jerry duggan the comic book writer was was talking and he was talking about when he was a kid it's like before comic-con was a huge thing he was growing up in small town in small town jersey and

he would have he and his comic book reading friends would like fought like go to the comic conventions that were these tiny little like sometimes it was just like a high school gymnasium and he went to one and it was walt simonson i think louise simonson was there too and they were doing a table together and doing a signing and there was no one online they happened to go up there and they started asking him questions like how you make a comic book and apparently walt simonson like took out his notebook and he was like showing them like how he was like i'll sketch out the page and then i'll like and then he like he's like oh you want this and he like tore pages out of his own notebook and handed it to these 12-year-olds who lost their minds.

Oh, that's amazing. Actually, that's funny, too, because one night we were playing Council of Thieves, Joe's Council of Thieves campaign. And Jerry Duggan almost came and sat in on the game one night because Nick was his editor. And he was just like, you want to come for a night, come play Pathfinder with us? And he was just like, yeah, if I can swing it it and he didn't end up coming but uh he said he wanted to quick uh quick grammar and dialect question uh now that you mentioned it matthew jumped out at me do you guys wait online or in line describe the situation i'm saying do you use the term when you're waiting in line

I say I'm waiting in line at the DMV Do you wait in line or do you wait online? Because I'm in between two people usually I'm in the line I guess I use them interchangeably Do you really? I heard you say they're waiting online And I never say that

I usually say I'm waiting through line I like to play with words I say say I'm waiting through line. I like to play with words. I say like I'm waiting betwixt the line, but that's just me. I'm waiting betwixt the line. These days, online means something else. Right. You don't want to confuse people.

Isn't this like an American-Canadian thing too? Yeah, I was going to say, thank you Matthew, that I usually say I'm waiting in a lineup to honor our Canadian cousins. Of which we have none. Yeah. And you, Joe? I queue up.

Okay. He's a queuer. I'm a queuer. I'm a big queuer. Look at that. I get the DMV and I turn to my wife and I go, look at this queue. And she's just like, I'm going to leave you. Is that the Brits?

Like, I'm in the queue? Do they say, like, I'm in the queue for everything? Is that the Brits? Like, they're in line at the grocery store? They queue up. Waiting in the queue. Yeah. Apparently it's a New York idiom to say you stand on line.

Yeah. You're such a New Yorker, Matthew. Standing on line. I'm standing on line here. I'm in line New Yorker, Matthew. Standing online. I'm standing online here. I'm in line here. Oh, shit. I'm online here. I'm online. Troy, you can't say anything

because you say rum, so you're not allowed to talk. I do. I got a lot of fun words I do. One of them is rum. Another one is what's in this scroll case? Shaka kanka goo. Scrolls are the best

when you're a wizard. And it's so cool that you don't have to share it with anyone. Do you think it was... My poppet can do scrolls. Really? Yeah. I think. I'm pretty sure I read that today. I refuse to roll off against a pop.

I'm convinced that this guy was a really shitty wizard, and he just had a bunch of fireball scrolls, but he doesn't have any spell slots. He just was burning scrolls, and this is his last one. I bet you As Atticus is frightened, is fading away, and he is shaking with fear, and he has used both of these incredible spells to deflect this guy's attacks. He's like, he was not weak. I mean, this guy was a badass. This guy keeps on scrolling. It's like cheating on a test.

Why don't you open it up and see what it is, and then we can all fight about it once we actually know If it's important or not You open it up and Two papers fall out because it's Two scrolls They appear to be Identical Do you want to try and Decipher this? Yeah

Identify the magic? Yeah Arcana? Does that sound good to you good buddy 25 25 um let's see here i think that's gonna be good enough yeah that'll be good enough to know that these are scrolls of Dimension Door. Oh! Amazing! Hell yeah. Two scrolls of Dimension Door.

So that means you don't need to fight. You can share. We can each take one. Amazing. Well, there's two. Wait, yeah. Not 17. Well, only Eris and I would use it, right?

I mean, is it on your spell list? I don't know. So my topic... Oh, I'm sorry, Suki. I forgot you were there. I can cast spells too. Right, right, right, right. Does Dimension Door appear on the Divine Spell list?

Also, do you cast Divine Spell? No, Primal. Wait, what are you? Druid. I have some primal. Arcane and occult. Arcane. Nice. I knew it. Occult.

Got it. Yeah, opening a door that bypasses normal space, you instantly transport yourself and any items you're wearing and holding from your current space to a clear space within range you can see. If this would bring another creature with you, even if you're wearing and holding from your current space to a clear space within range you can see. If this would bring another creature with you,

even if you're carrying it in an extramensional container, spell is lost. That's a big difference. Yeah, so he was trying to burn one to get out of that sticky wicket that he was in, surrounded by all of you, to slide away and regroup. But Ethel landed the killing blow. So now, you stand

in front of this lunar prison with a portcullis that is down. However, you can see through it into a room that is... I'll even reveal the room because you can see through into a room that has a door at the end and the room appears to be empty. Wait, so that-

About what, 25 feet long, 15 feet tall? Just to clarify, when we were in the guardhouse, like Ethel is in the guardhouse, there's no way to get into the main building from this guardhouse. It doesn't appear so, yeah. No, the guardhouse, like the only way in and out of the guardhouse was climbing through the windows, and you don't see any means of getting into the building from there. And you also don't see any means of raising the portcullis from within the guardhouse. So he was totally bullshitting you.

That's why I said he was a filthy liar. You were right. You gave him the business. And it really hit home for him, I think, clearly because of how demoralized he was. Yeah, for sure. Ethel is going to help anybody who needs help climbing through the window. But there's nothing in there.

There's a door in this room. No, no. Troy was saying we can't get into the room where the portcullis leads to through the guardhouse. There's no way through the guardhouse. Oh, we could see into it through the portcullis, to, through the guardhouse. There's no way through the guardhouse. Oh, we could see into it through the portcullis, you were saying. I misunderstood. Yes, he says.

Suki wants to check this guy's body. She's pretty hurt, and she wants to see if he has any healing on him. Yeah, you want to search the body. Obviously, you find the two scrolls of Dimension Door. But beyond that, he doesn't have anything else on his person because he used his two scrolls of 5th level fireball. I fucking knew it. This guy

sucks so bad and he used scrolls the entire time. You're right. A cheater. Look, it's all burnt up. You ought to use him. What a waste. Do you not have any more elixirs of life? I can. I have mine. Oh, yes.

I do need to use those. Aldo gave them to us. Actually, I do have my elixir lesser. I'm going to use that. Moderate. Moderate. We had one moderate and two lesser. Total.

Yeah. I guess I could use my moderate at this time. I am pretty low. Can we take 10 minutes to treat wounds? Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, let's do that. So Ethel has it and you're the only one, Ethel, right?

I can do it as well. But you're just going to do it on yourself? You took a ton of damage, right? Yeah, I guess I'll just do it on myself. Okay. And I'll just drink those consumables because I'm down a lot and I'll just use up but I should be

fine after those and then I I mean this is just a note I guess well alright so I don't know if I can learn this spell from this scroll I don't see anything about it.

So to like learn it and put it in your spell book? Yeah. Why do you think you can't learn it? I don't know. I'm blanking. I'm like 2E. Critical success on my treat wounds. I don't know how you learn spells, but I just feed mine to egg.

You feed yours to egg. It takes an hour for egg to eat the scroll. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe we wait. Because here's the thing. If we utilize this scroll to go through the porticulus and open it from the other side, we then burn that scroll forever,

and there's no ability to use it again. But if we take the time to learn it, then we could use Dimension Door forever. What do you think, Egg? Only in the Dreamlands. Interesting question. Do you have an hour? Right, right, right.

Don't forget, Dimension Door is only for one of you. Why? He's saying one of us will go in and open the door from the other side um right if there is a way to keep that um well why don't you take the hour and meanwhile uh ethel and maybe anyone who wants to come along we're gonna i want to scout around the whole prison and see if there's another way to get in. Yeah, Suki will go. We'll take the hour until you guys have Dimension Door,

and then we can deal with that thorny rules question. And then in the meantime, we'll do a little stealthy scout and see if we can find another means of ingress. Okay. All right, so who's going with Ethel? Suki will go. Okay. Okay. So S going with Ethel? Suki will go. Okay.

So Suki and Ethel begin their roundabout here. Which way are you going? Are you going north around or south around? Let's go south around. Okay. At least expect. No, no, what? To the south.

All right, great. No, no, what? To the south. All right, great. So you go to the south, and you start circling the building, and you notice about, I don't know, 50 feet or so, right in the middle, there's like a section of the building that sticks out. I'm pinging it here on the map right now.

Yep. And then it just keeps going and then turns to the north. And you come around. And then when you get all the way to the north side, there does seem to be another small, like, side entrance. Great. Perception check? That's a good idea. Perception check? That's a good idea. Perception check. You actually, when you were coming in,

you saw this while you were flying in on the Shantak, but you were accosted by the ghoul before you could think to check out this little side door. Can we listen at the door? Yeah. 20. 30. uh can we listen at the door yeah uh 20 30 sorry 21 you don't hear anything very obviously very thick walls um it's uh the stone is very strange it's like the way it's it's it doesn't look carved or like manmade at all. It just looks like one continuous block that was shaped into this building.

Does it look like we could open it? Uh-huh. All right. Ethel will check to see if it's trapped. 23. 23. No, it doesn't appear to be trapped all right very tentatively he will open the door ever so slightly i can roll stealth if you want me to but the idea

i just want to open it so far just make sure it's not locked and so i can just like peek in to see if this is a safe place for us to gather yes you peek in and you see like a little looks like a little room. A pantry or something. Oh, great.

Okay, I will leave the door where it is and then maybe gather the others and then bring them back here so we can all... Suki will stand guard at the door, just waiting for everybody to come back. Hey, we found a sideway in. Sideways, good. Sweet. Well then, perhaps we should go. Eris, we could work on this later.

I mean, that took some time, so my idea was like, if you guys wanted to learn the scroll while we're scouting. Even if I learn it, I haven't prepared it. I guess maybe my patron can do it, and then they can open a door if we need to. Yeah, you would have to prepare it, and then also you have to expend materials to learn it that are very valuable. No, mine just says my familiar can learn any spell of my tradition by physically consuming a scroll

and it takes one hour. Huh. Okay. I'd be surprised if yours were free but everyone else's aren't. Could be a wish thing. Yeah. Yeah, because Gormley was the same thing. I fed it to...

There was a roll involved, though, but I fed it to Howie. Yeah, the physical materials, components, and costs are provided when the scroll is created, so you don't need those when you're casting from the scroll. It's all part. It's built into the scroll, so you don't need to provide those when you're casting a spell from a scroll. It's all part. It's built into the scroll. So you don't need to provide those

when you're casting a spell from a scroll. To learn a spell, you must do the following. Spend one hour per level of the spell during which you must remain in conversation with the person who knows the spell or have the magical writing in your possession. Have materials with the price indicated in table 4-3, which is for a level 4 spell, which is what Dimension Door is,

it is 36 gold pieces. Yeah, it sounds like it's just a different process for learning from the witch. It doesn't say anything like that. It says other ways I can learn spells. My familiar can talk to another familiar for a while and learn spells that way and all these different ways. And for for that it just says that one sentence it can eat them i'm sure consumed doesn't mean eat but for me it means eat yeah it's probably eat yeah okay um very cool well if you do take an hour, or if at least Eris takes an hour to have

Egg eat it, and Atticus decides to hold off, you could treat wounds again if you do take that full hour. I would love to treat wounds again, which is why I was pushing for it. Oh, me too. I can also soothe you if you like. I only have one of those, though. Soothe, soothe, soothe you.

Right now. Well, I'm going to treat myself. Treat yourself. Treat yourself. Treat yourself. There we go. 13 more points. Oh, I critically succeeded again.

Oh, man. You know what? I'm down. Okay. I critically succeeded, too. This is good, because I was down quite a lot. That fireball really hurt me, actually. Bless you.

Excuse me. All right, so you guys heal up a little bit um eris now probably knows or can can prepare dimension door tomorrow uh and atticus is going to hold on to the scroll you go back up to this uh little side door and uh who's going in first ethel will lead the way sorry i was just reading about i was i think kate is right it does right the learn a spell activity seems separately described in the text of the witch is familiar in the advanced players guide huh

um anyway yeah Ethel will lead the way and I will step into the little pantry you step into this little pantry and uh the walls contain several shelves that are stacked with bags and barrels. You pass through this thick metal door to get in here and you look around and the only other exit that you see from this room is like a four foot square of grill work of close set iron bars

that are anchored into the stone um and there's a metal funnel that is jammed into the grill work and the wide end of the funnel is facing uh this room and that's actually right that grill work that i speak of is right to your uh right ethel um i will examine the grill work is it trapped i'll roll perception uh 24 doesn't appear to be trapped it looks like it's fused right into the stone it's got bars that are like one inch thick and spaced about three inches apart from each other in that space and you can kind of see past it into another room to the west a Suki are you able to

become a small creature? Let me remember what I put on my spell list. I took off pest form. I don't have it any longer. I didn't think I'd need it. Oh, wait, no, I can. Focus spell, baby. Yeah.

Do you want me to crawl under this little door Like a little rat or something Oops sorry Atticus she says Would it be helpful A filthy little rat You don't go alone Do you want me to bring egg Well I mean I don't know If egg could fit but

I can turn into gas Oh Oh Is that like a big spell for you though but I can turn into gas. Oh. Oh. Oh, is that like a big spell for you, though? It's a level three spell. If I do... Or no, it's a level four spell. I'll just do the pest form because I feel like savior spells,

you have more effective fighting spells than I do. Sounds good. Okay, let me see what I turn into. I turn into... Russian roulette. Isn't it random? No, I want to pick, but it's not telling me my list.

You're just going to start looking at the list now? What? Of all of the animals in existence? No, normally when I pull it up in the spell, it brings up the things I can turn into. Why don't you just turn into a tiny orangutan? I'm turning into a lizard. Same thing.

Okay. Same thing. We're going to split hairs here. Orangutan, lizard lizard let's go my lizard token that runs like this with its lizard token yes yeah like uh I forget what those are yeah they run on their hind legs yes and then they hiss at you with their

little frills that come out there you are I'll let you control your lizard where am I you're right next to here I'll put you control your lizard where am I you're right next to here I'll put you right there oh I'm so small you're a lizard

oh yeah I run alright so yeah you are small enough to fit through there that's pretty cool. And you find yourself in a room here. Now, with your small lizard brain, you can still tell that it's a kitchen. And there looks to be a door leading to the south and all sorts of stuff in this kitchen.

Okay, with my lizard brain, I'm going to go under this next door just to see what there is since I'm still so tiny. It's metal. It's a thick metal door that goes all the way to the floor. There's no crack. Oh, I bonk my little head. Bonk. And then I run back to this door and I try to open it as a lizard.

Can I do that? The grate, you just walk through it. Oh, is there no mechanism or anything? No, no. She's trying to open it for us. No, there's no mechanism. Like I said, it's fused right into the stone. It's like a little grate.

Seems like a strange... What the hell is this fucking setup? All right, so I'm gonna come Out of lizard form I guess So you have to use the scroll I guess I don't Hold on I'll come out of lizard form I'll come out of lizard form

This is enormously frustrating And it's like Can you even learn a spell from a dreamland Scroll cause you're not gonna carry it with you Back right Weird things happen in the dreamlands. They do. Alright, so you're going to turn back into

yourself while in the kitchen, or you're going to come back through? No, I'm going to turn into it in the kitchen. I'm trying to find a way to let them in. Okay. Alright, so let me get you in. I'm just making absolutely sure.

Oh, my God. You'll be trapped in there. Yeah, this is... You'll be trapped in the... Wait, there has to be a way out of the kitchen. I know. There's a door to this house. There's a door. There's a door.

Oh, but you can't slip under it as a lizard. I gotcha. All right, quick perception check on this door as my human self. All right, well, let me describe the kitchen to you now that you're not a dumb lizard. You see... I don't know, a me describe the kitchen to you now that you're not a dumb lizard. You see... I don't know, a lizard's stupid? I just assumed that... She's still herself.

This is like... Yeah, this is like stone slab tables. You see a large oven. There are thick steel mixing pots and tools that looks like they could prepare food for dozens of people. There aren't many sharp knives. The couple of knives you see are thick, but they're blunt.

There's stains all over the place and a real weird rotting smell pervading the room. And now that you're on the other side of the grate, you see stains like, stains right below this funnel and little bits of food. It almost seems like food and liquid is being passed through that funnel

from either the kitchen to the pantry or from the pantry to the kitchen. Very, very strange. Like being shoved through this funnel. Um, gross. Suki waves to Ethel from the other side of the gate and shrugs her shoulders. I don't know

what this puzzle is, but I'll be right back. And she runs back over the door. That's a natty 19 for 34 perception at the door. Perception at the door, you don't hear anything. Um, uh, or see anything. I would like to stealthily crack this

door and peek out. Okay. Find out what's on the other side of that door right after this quick break. Everyone knows it's always best split the party to send somebody in alone before and by the way i want to just say but i'll get the music back here but before these this uh place is completely covered in suki's blood i would like to mention that this map is sick, by the way.

I was going to say, this is a really cool map. This is a great map. And I don't want to say anything against the Paizo maps. They were great. This map takes this actual map to a completely different level. Shout out to Dave M., who crushed it. Yeah, Dave M. Thank you, Dave M. Crushed it. Yeah, Dave M. Thank you, Dave M.

Crushed it. Thanks, Dave. Crushed. The M stands for map. Map maker Dave. Dave Maps. My buddy Dave Map did this. Davey Maps.

I love it. You don't call him Dave Map for nothing. Well, here's what Davey Maps has in store for you. A room. A room that looks like a mess hall. There are three long tables of this strange dark wood with matching benches that fill the hall. And the tables and the benches both are scarred

from years of use or years of abuse. There's no remnants of any food or dishes or anything. It's actually completely, completely empty, and that stink is still here, the stink that you smelt in the kitchen, that rotting smell. It's not any worse here or any better. And then you see to the south

a big double door, the southwestern portion of the room. Fuck. I really thought that this area was going to lead towards the portcullis. Never what you expect. Also, did everyone else see the room?

I can't. I just see the door. Yeah, the room's not revealed, just so you know, Troy. I'm imagining it. It revealed like a small tiny part. There we go. Everybody shut up. Suki. This is so funny. Suki, a stupid lizard, comes

into the kitchen and is like, can't get through the door. Human opens the door and then she's like, up another door. Now she just goes back to Ethel at the gate. Okay. This looks like a cartoon. Here's the deal. I kind of thought that it would loop around

but it doesn't seem to be doing that and I can either kind of maze it myself but I don't really think that's a good idea. So do you want to possibly use one of the scrolls that we happened upon so that we could all enter together? No!

What? I can stop yelling. I can do gaseous form, or I can send egg. Why don't we send egg in through the portcullis to see if there's a way to open the portcullis. Or I can use egg to send me with

dimension war. Or that. I don't know what that means. Well, whatever spells egg knows, I know. I only know what egg knows. Whatever, whatever spells Egg knows, I know. I only know what Egg knows. Whatever would make it so that we can all enter together, because you coming in as Gash's form doesn't really help Aldo or Atticus or Ethel.

So... Okay. I was going to say, you guys are pretty smart. Oh, wait, I didn't prepare Dimension Door. Perhaps we just have Egg running through the portcullis. Can Egg open doors? Um, yeah. I mean, Egg is small.

Yeah, so why don't, maybe Egg can go investigate the room beyond the portcullis, see if there's a way to open it, and then we could, if so, Suki could, as a lizard, get in and open it and then we could if so suki could as a lizard get in and open it well um sorry suki sorry trying to like look through try to see you from there she sticks her hand i'm coming i'm coming up there was another door in there you're saying yes but it leads to the west so it doesn't lead toward the front of the building it leads to the back, so it doesn't lead toward the front of the building, it leads toward the back. And honestly, there's a horrid stench coming from this next room, which appears to be an old mess hall of sorts. I don't have a good feeling about any of this.

What if I were to make you invisible? Could you then move about unseen? They'd see her open the door. Oh, yes, indeed. The gust of wind. But they might think, yes. Moon wind see her open the door. Oh, yes, indeed. The gust of wind. But they might think, yes. Moon wind. A gust of wind.

Especially if you made a wind sound. Something like... Oh, my God. That's very good. That sounds just like... Are you an actress? Well, I've lived a long life. I've had a lot of careers.

Have you ever heard of a Michael Winslow? No, I can't say that I have. I know him. He's from where I come from. He's got the same sort of expertise you've just exhibited. And where's that from? Oh, I don't want to get into it. Not here on the moon. You're from 1980s

Australia. I keep forgetting we're on the moon. Not here on the Dreamlands moon. Skip saying moon wind. Yeah, Suki then remembers we're on the moon. She goes, I'm in a moon kitchen. Wow. Yeah.

Look, a moon spoon. Honestly, Atticus, at this point, fuck it. Big fuck it vibes from me. If you want to make me invisible, I'm game, as they say. All right, well, give it a try. Remember, it will not cover the sound of your footfalls. You cannot make the slightest sound or people will know where you are. I knock a pan onto the ground as you're talking accidentally.

Clank, clank, clank. Right, understood. Perhaps clank. Right. Understood. Perhaps I should save this. I'm ready. He draws out a wand of invisibility, wafts it around, S of a B,

double check on the John Jamski. She stands there in like a weird Titanic. But I can touch you, right? It's through the grate. I just need to touch you with the wand So he just reaches through Oh bam How do I look Are you there

I really quietly reach through the grate And grab Atticus Get it Get it It's just me You're killing him and grab Atticus. Kill it! Kill it! It's just me. You're killing him! You're killing him. Well, it's working then.

Move quickly. Remember, if you may take any aggressive action against a creature, you will break out of the illusion. Bye! She's already out of the room. Bye! You will break out of the illusion.

Is she still there? She's going to very stealthily push open one of the double doors and try to just sneak her body through it to get a peek at the next room. It's locked. Are you kidding me? You couldn't try that before. I used the only casting of invisibility.

Pull back the curtain. We're recording this. It's very late at night. So can I presume you tried the door? I didn't. I never said that I did. Can I try? God, I don't have any.

Can I try stealth? Can I try to unlock the door? Are you trained in thievery? Do you have thieves' tools? I'm untrained in thievery. I have a plus two. No. All right, you know what I'm going to do?

I go back into the kitchen, and I take two huge pots, and I stand on the table invisible and I'm going to throw them at the door. Just throwing pots. That's an aggressive action. You turn visible. No. As the door comes to life, it's a mimic.

My face. You hock two pans at this door and they just nothing happens fuck there's no one here it's embarrassing that I stood on the table she gets off and walks back into the kitchen and she goes we wouldn't know.

Yeah. Well, she pretends that it was cool. You just see two pans fly through another room. Ethel. Those pans? All right. Well, Atticus, I'm sorry that you wasted this spell upon me. I've failed you completely and utterly.

I'm going to sit on the floor in here until we figure something out and I can turn into a bug again and crawl out. We'll need to try the front entrance, I suppose. We'll wait for you. Well, I'm invisible, so it doesn't really matter. I'm just going to sit here and wallow. Where have we already gone? You're talking to no one. Did they turn invisible, too?

Hello? Fades out. Let's go back to the portcullis. It says 10 minutes later. And Suki, are you staying there in the kitchen? Yeah, I'm going to sit under the table in the kitchen in case anybody comes in, but I'm just kind of looking around at stuff. Okay.

We're waiting 10 minutes for you to turn back into an animal and then walk out of here with us to the front. And you're going to walk into your portcullis as a lizard, right, minutes for you to turn back into an animal and then walk out of here with us to the front and you're gonna walk into the your portcullis as a lizard right and see if there's any way to open it from oh i thought kate was gonna send egg in and meet me inside that's fine you can both go in oh what do you mean meet you inside you're gonna stay in here the whole time fine i'm coming out comes out you're behind a locked door. I think Suki might just want to be alone for a bit.

I think she wants to be alone. Hey, you know what? Sydney, if you don't want to fly out to Boulder, that's fine. You definitely wouldn't be involved in anything that happens for the next three sessions. You're motionless, invisible under this table.

God, that would be so good if I had to miss a show for some reason, and I happen to be invisible and in a locked room. And it's like, don't worry about Suki. She's fine. More logical than any of the other excuses you've come up with. I'm not sick for once and having diarrhea. We would probably still give you diarrhea under that table while invisible. Suki comes back out.

Sudden onset of horrific diarrhea. Invisible diarrhea. Suki crawls back out as an insect, and then she turns back into herself. She goes, sorry, I'm having a horrible day. I got shot at with a fireball twice. Why did you turn back into yourself? Now we have to wait another ten minutes before you can go through the portcullis. Why do you insist on driving mad?

She couldn't have told us about a terrible day. She's tearing up. Guys, she had massive diarrhea. We have diarrhea? Is that what's happening? No! She storms off. Stop yelling at me! Where are you going? Come back.

We're invisible. You're the only one who can help us. What? I totally get it. Where are you going? Come back. We're invisible. You're the only one who can help us. Why? She's at the point. Wait. I totally get it. We're on the moon, and it's probably the pull of the moon, that time of. It's that time of the moon. Yeah.

The time of the moon. The moon. Yes. She gives Eris a hug. It's okay. All right. And she turns back into an insect. Let's go.

Ten minutes later. Ten minutes later. You're all at the portcullis. Where we started the episode. We have accomplished absolutely nothing. You've revealed some other

rooms inside the prison. You found a side entrance. You went through a grate. You know it's smelly in there? It's smelly. There's a funnel. There's food and liquid being passed between the pantry and the kitchen through this weird, dirty, old, stinky funnel. And there's a locked door with what looks like in the middle of the prison.

And one thing I didn't mention, I may have mentioned as you were flying in, the way the prison is situated is like, there's a second floor, and then the far end has like maybe a third floor. It kind of, it's very... This is like a complex. Yeah, it is a complex, but the way it's shaped is so strange because it looks like one continuous chunk of stone

that just, I think I said it looks like one continuous chunk of stone that just, I think I said it looks like a dead Leviathan lying near the lake. And so that's just to reiterate, that's what it looks like. Oh yeah, that's so cool. Also thinking about it, it does make sense that all these doors are locked. It's a fucking prison. Why did I think that they would just open into every, of course they're locked. Well,

perhaps they were on the honor system. So what do we think? Do we think that this funnel suggests to me that maybe they're getting food from the outside, but there are no guards. Maybe the guards have abandoned the prison or something. Something weird is going on. Maybe there are no guards in the prison. Maybe it's like automated in some weird way or something maybe the prisoners

took over maybe the guards are the friends who made along the way I've got to say maybe the guard out front was a prisoner I didn't expect anything this strange when that dragon took us to the moon yes cut that sentence

maybe that guy found the scrolls. That's a real surprise. Maybe that guy found the scrolls, like, in the prison. Maybe he's, like, the only person here. But then why is he here? I don't know. Let us try to get through this porticulus. So, all right, so you're back at the porticulus, and you— I mispronounced the word seven years ago and we're still doing it i know

that was my fault i love doubling down on it i just love it yeah it's portcullis right it's it's portcullis it's good corrected us in a very very early episode of giants yeah i gave them bad instructions on how to pronounce it in like episode three of the podcast. He was like, actually, you're pronouncing it incorrectly. It is port-culous. And so we have pronounced it wrong

ever since. I love it. Alright, so you're there and it looks like there is some sort of mechanism that lifts the portcullis, but you don't see where that is. It's not in the guardhouse. You're looking through there. Maybe it's on

inside here, past the portcullis. That would make more sense. But yeah, what do you want to do? Send some people. Send some small folks. Suki, get in there and start seeing if you can find him yeah you go with the snike and the doll

uh yeah pepsi will come with me do you want to send egg um if you need egg i'll send egg we don't right now so why don't you hold on to egg and then i turn into a praying mantis and i ride on peps Pepsi's back.

That rocks. And I'm at the door. And then do you come back into Suki form? Well, I can't open a door as a praying mantis, I assume. That'd be just silly. Don't get silly. Well, wait. Well, you need someone to open a door.

I'll send Egg. All right, send Egg. Isn't your puppet this send I'll send Egg. Alright, send Egg. It's tiny. Yeah, Poppet can. But maybe Poppet can stand on Snake and Snake can stretch high and then Poppet can open door.

Really abandoned all the definite and indefinite articles. Lost access to them. abandoned all the definite and indefinite articles. Pop it big. Open door. Pop it open door, said Natsune. I'm going to need a real person to try and open the door. Suki turns back.

Suki turns back into Suki. I'm a real boy. I'm a real boy. I open the door. Real Suki turns back into Suki I'm a real boy I'm a real boy I open the door Alright real Suki go to work Suki turns back into Suki real quick I look at the portcullis is there a mechanism Inside the portcullis

Door to open it You don't see anything God sakes You just see this You just see this door To the west. You know what this is? You don't see any, like, lever or keyboard.

This is a flat-out Dark Souls level. That's what this is. Yep. It's like, oh, here's a portcullis right here, and nowhere in sight to open it. Yep, and I'm about to die 30 times. Yep, four hours later, you'll find the way to open it. What's everybody else doing while Sook's in there?

Atticus is just standing by the portcullis looking through. And you're not invisible anymore, right, Sookie? I might. Oh, I'm not? No. Ten minutes, yeah. So that first ten minutes, it was over. Goddamn, okay. All right, so you guys are just hanging at the portcullis

Do you want me to come in there Do you feel weird I can use gaseous form and come in there There'll be two of us It's okay I I can do this I just This is taking a really long time I thought we'd be back on earth by now

Uh Troy sorry Can you remind us what was going on in the second level? There was a second level of the prison. Yeah, so it looks like now that you've been inside, and you've actually been inside, Ethel, you see the height of the ceiling in that pantry. You know that there's at least another level above, you would think,

unless it's just solid stone up there. But then on the far west of the building, it goes up even higher. Would I be able to climb up on the thatched roof and then get up on the roof of the main building and see if there is like an open window or a door or something or a crumbled wall? All right. So climbing up on the thatched roof, easy. When you get up there, and I'm just going to fast forward through this to save your time when you get up there you look at the building itself and there is no discernible handholds to get up higher it is like so oddly smooth and out of this world that there there's no you don't you can't think of how you would even get up and over to start mounting this beast.

Meanwhile, Suki, as you're standing in there with Pepsi, looking at the door, you see something on the door that catches your attention. And it almost looks like it's moving in a way. It's this pattern that seems to be... My eyes playing tricks on me. It seems to be moving and you're just drawn to it. Oh, for God's sake. Roll a will save oh my god

what the hell is going why is it that they have to have fascinate in every session of Pathfinder 2E I don't understand why we have to deal with this you will in just a moment that's a 29 a 29

um just check something real quick okay uh 29 a 29. A 29. Just check something real quick. Okay. A 29. You know you don't want to look at this, so you avert your eyes. There is some sort of spell happening on that door, so you look away.

I look away and talk backward to the group and I say, the door, the door is, there's a spell on the door. I don't know how to open it. I'm not, I can't look at it. It's, it's drawing me

toward it. What do I do? Uh, don't. Just don't look at it and open it. Don't. Yeah, stop. And as Suki has her back to you, talking, and you guys are talking to her through the portcullis, you see a kukri appear out of thin air, and then a second kukri just floating there,

followed by a third kukri behind her behind her and they all like rear up to attack roll for initiative oh my god is this three kukris I've seen before me what

they're unwielded just loose in the air? Un-wielded kukris. Oh my god. Sukino! Sukino! Kukri no! Kukri no!

Let's see if I can do this here. Alright. Oh no. Disembodied kukris on the map. Alright Oh no Disembodied kukris On the map Oh no What is going on Three kooks

Just a couple of kooks Alright Too many kooks Too many kooks What's your roll roll, Aldo? Aldo got a 34. This is insane.

Atticus? 29. 29. Eris? 25. 25. Ethel? 32. 32. Suki? Also a 25. Also a 25. Ethel? 32. 32. Suki? Also a 25. Also a 25.

You are in combat. Aldo, you see these things rear up, and you get to act first. Can I do an Arcana check to try to see what's going on here? Absolutely. Absolutely. Oh my god, man. I continue to crush at 38. Ooh.

Wow. 38. Okay. It looks like someone or something has cast Spiritual Weapon three times, and these kukris are appearing, and you can tell they're made out of pure force. Okay.

Someone, there's a source of this it's a spell someone's cast it nearby um can i do a perception check to see if i can see the source of this any absolutely a seek action seek action uh that is

a 20 a 20 uh yeah i was waiting for one suki perception check suki was very focused on other things um had you taken a moment to take in your surroundings you may have noticed that there were eight three inch wide arrow slits on the north and south wall. Wow. Looking into this hill room. Oh. Hill room?

Hill room? Is that what you called it? Well, it's just very strange. It's like there's arrow slits facing into this room from beyond. All right, Aldo points at the holes. Murder holes! There's a wizard on the other side somewhere!

And man, I guess that's all I can... Yeah, I'm just going to shout those instructions because there's really nothing much more I can do on this side of the Fort Cullis. Yeah, it's very tricky. I'm just going to

see how this plays out so now it's Ethel's turn okay Ethel hearing this is gonna first action hop down from the roof okay forgot you went up there

second and third action I think he just wants to just grab the portcullis and try to like strengthen he doesn't know what grab the portcullis and try to strengthen it. He doesn't know what else to do. He's just going to try to lift it up. Absolutely. Alright, it's going to be an athletics check. Okay, that's good.

Make a bend bars lift gates check. Yeah, bend bars lift gates. ADD. Okay, that was a natural 17. So that is a 35. Ethel, you reach down. Let me see. 35.

I'm sure I'm looking at this here. You reach down and you stick your fingers in the soil of the moon. And you like stick it under the soil. And you just fucking lift it. Oh my god. Wow. And your shirt is like ripping as your muscles bulge. And it's now open.

You actually opened it. Yes! Straight out of the book. Amazing. Oh, my God. And that's the end of your turn, right? Well, if you're going to say that's one action, I'll spend my third action to go,

uh, quickly. Because I'm holding open the door. Well, you could move into the room if you want as well. I didn't realize you had that direction. It's going to stay open. Yeah, it's open now. Oh. Oh, great.

You forced it open. Then, yeah, I'm going to move into the room straight up to one of the murder holes. Okay. Move up to us. Can I see someone waiting to murder us behind the door? You see, and they're only three inches wide, so you just see some like fabric standing

there and maybe an eye looking at you okay sorry three inches wide is pretty wide and if there's eight of them that's like nobody knows three inches like Joe give me it Joe what is it

three inches I always used to have a really firm idea of what three inches was, because we're in action figures, three and a half inches. That's right, three and a half. Little GI Joe's three and a half inches, yeah. All right, so you look in there, and you see a face that is, like, half shrouded, staring at you with wild eyes. Reaction, stare back.

It's not alone. And one of them is going to go, and the first thing it's going to do is it's going to sustain its spell to activate the Force Kukri. Force Kuk? The Force Kukri. Force Kuk? The Force Kuk. And this is going to be a Kuk against

Suk. Kuk against Suk. Kuk against Suk. Kuk against Suk. Just looking for my notes here. Okay. Attack roll. That is going to be a, ooh boy, 32 to hit. Yes. Attack roll. That is going to be a, ooh boy, 32

to hit. Yes. Wowza. Okay. That's going to be, ooh boy, 20 points of force damage. With a fucking kukri? Oh my god. With a fucking kukri. 20 points of force damage.

And then what is the pain? Okay. of force damage. Um, and then, um, what is the pain, strange touch? Okay, uh, and then, uh, you, uh, need to give me a will save. Okay, I'm not looking at the door.

No, I know. Okay. That's smart. Glad you did. Nat 20. Ooh, nice. 36. You're all right. And Joe, you said, why do they always put Fascinate into combat? Because if you are Fascinated,

you take a penalty to your perception checks, which would have affected her initiative. And if more of you were in there, it just would have slowed you down. That's the only thing. And then Fascinated goes away. Was that another save against Fascinate, though? No, that was a save against something else. Oh, okay. That you don't have slowed you down. That's the only thing. Was that another save against Fascinate, though? No, that was a save against something else.

Oh, okay. Something truly horrible. Something truly horrible. It is Atticus's turn. Atticus, the poor Cullis is open. You see three flying kukri. And I don't... Would I know enough about this?

Do I know enough about this spell? What is it? Spiritual weapon? Spiritual weapon, yeah. That, like... Can the weapon be damaged or stopped in any way without beyond disabling the caster? Recall knowledge.

But is it divine? No, you can do divine or occult. You can do occult? Yeah. Okay. You can always roll arcana, but in this case, occult would be fine. I'll do occult. That is a 38.

Yeah, so it is, in this case, it is a spell that has to be sustained. So if you can take out the caster, then the caster can no longer sustain the spell. But the weapon itself is made of pure force and it cannot be damaged. Unless you have something that can damage force. Which you might. Okay.

Atticus is going to move up. He's going to move up. He's going to move up and... Man, this is brutal. He's got to get... Actually, no, he's not. He's not going to move up.

Just looking through this thing, he's going to... He's not going to move up. Just looking through this thing, he's going to... This is awful. I mean, when you're in a kill room, it's the absolute worst. We have to get out of the kill room. I just don't have a means to kill people. So would it be safe to say that I have line of sight to the enemies for the purposes of spellcasting?

If you were to move into the room and get close to those eye holes, you know, get within sight of those eye holes, you see like where Ethel, you're looking to the north, you don't see anybody in that room to the north, but to the south, you do. Oh, I'm thinking it's in the back wall. Wasn't I looking directly at somebody?

No, the back wall is where the door is. Sorry. Ethel, I'm sorry. I thought the back wall. Wasn't I looking directly at somebody? No, the back wall is where the door is. Sorry. Ethel, I'm sorry. I thought you went to the south. I wasn't watching where you went. Got it. I'll just take away the flavor of you looking face to face. If you want to move to the south to be right up to the hole, you can.

Oh, I misunderstood the description. The murder holes are on the north and south. The door is on the west. Yes. I'll move to the south and preserve the place. Sure. Atticus is going to... Yeah, all right.

So he will move in. He will look at these things. God, this is brutal. He's going to deliberately not look at the door. He's going to avert his eyes from that since Suki made that clear that there's a spell cast on it. And he's going to say, I will seal the murder holes. Open the door. Get them.

cast like a wall of stone into the murder holes that just closes them all up with the same material that the wall is made of blocking line of sight from them to us amazing that's really cool but it ruined the really cool thing I was gonna do

well I mean he can also say behind you like it's an illusion. However, you know, once you break it, they know. So, like, I assume the door's locked, but, like, you know, I don't know what else to do. Okay. All right. So you throw up an illusion, which is a wall of stone, and you put it on your side.

He adds on, like, a little perform check, you know, to be like, I'll seal the holes. Go in the door. So like maybe they won't double check it. You know what I mean? I just think it really is sealed. Because when it closes up, they can't see us anymore. Okay. That's amazing.

Okay. And now. All right. So as you do that. So they can't see you. Right. I mean, they can interact with it or do a spend a seek action to test if it really is sealed off. You know, the question is just would they be dumb enough to assume it is and try to move away from the door or get out of there or something?

You know what I mean? Or would they just be like, I'll poke through it. Even if they knew it was an illusion, they still wouldn't be able to see through it, right? Correct. Well, no, no. They will if they disbelieve it. But they have to, like, at least spend an action to figure it out. Interact with it. And, like, they wouldn't.

I don't think they'd be like, there's a wall there now. They wouldn't poke through the wall. They no reason i mean knowing you're in a world where wizards can create a wall of stone easily just like close things off um all right so ethel you see um this is very interesting you see one of uh what looks like three people in this room uh walk up to the door uh second action open the door and then leave that room um awesome and then it is uh you see another one do the exact same thing except it doesn't uh and uh it doesn't uh wish mcconnell doesn't have to open the door because the door is open. So there's only one remaining in that room. And now it's Eris's turn.

Did you say we can hit the kookeries with force damage and then they'll stop being? No, I said, unless you have something that can damage force, which your spell would say like, this damages force. And I didn't think you would then. Well, cause magic missile has the force trait

effects with this trait deal force damage right but that's presupposing that force damages force and I don't know if that's necessarily true you would need to have something that like says in the descriptor it damages force okay yeah and I don't know if that exists

so but these also quick note on those kukris. Did they sustain the spell? Yeah. As part of this opening the door and leaving? Yeah, so no, they didn't. They couldn't attack with it because they couldn't see you, and they sustained it the previous round.

So now at the end of this turn, two of the kukris disappear. Oh, nice. Two of the kukris disappear, and there's one left. If you have Disintegrate, that would probably work. I don't have Disintegrate. Disintegrate, something like that. I'm going to cast Haste on Ethel. Yes.

Nice. Just mark that. And then I'm still worried about the kukri. It did a good amount of damage to Pepsi. Not Pepsi. I'm just reading on the thing. Sure did. Not Pepsi.

Suki. So I'm going to cast Needle of Vengeance. So she reaches out and she says your name. Like, Suki, i got you girl um so she cast a little vengeance on you so if anything like hits you i don't know wait it takes mental damage yeah and it's a kookery but the person would take it who's casting the spell would they right i mean guess they're the ones that are hurting me. Attacking you. Yeah. Right?

Well, here's the problem. Right. We've been doing Needle of Vengeance wrong. Needle of Vengeance is a targeted spell. You must target an enemy. Oh. I target one enemy. This says a long, jagged needle jabs into the target's foe's psyche.

Target foe's psyche. Yes. I'm supposed to name a specifically forbidden creature, myself or one of my allies. The target takes 10 mental damage any time it uses a hostile action. Oh, this wording's confusing. Does yours say target's foe or target foe's? Target foe's.

Yeah, so yeah, it is worded weird, but yeah, you're targeting an enemy, and then whenever they try to attack, they get that needle damage. Yeah, so you pick one enemy, and whenever that enemy attacks whoever you name, they take damage.

All right, well, delete that then. That's cool, you can hide in that too. That's a cool spell. Yeah. So, okay, so I spent two actions casting haste and I'm going to spend one more action raising shield. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. It's smart. You don't know what, what's going on here. It's such a weird, awful, terrible situation. I have run these like once or twice,

like designed kill rooms against PCs. And you're just like, as a GM, I'm even like, I have no idea how they're going to get out of this. Like well-designed kill rooms are awful. Yeah, I ran one in Jade's region now that I'm thinking about it in book four. I also want to spend a free action for Aeris to ovulate after

she saw Ethel lift the gun. Oh, I didn't even think about that. That definitely needed an action. As soon as Troy said his shirt ripped, I was like, oh, Aeris is unable to do a combat now.

Moonrolls. I think you're stupefied one. Yeah. You're fascinated. Somehow you're fascinated. Yep. I said don't look at the door. That hypnotic pattern that was on the door wasn't sustained either,

so it's no longer there if you were side-eyed. Oh, awesome. Okay. Yeah, so it is now Suki's turn side-eye it. Oh, awesome. Yeah, so it is now Suki's turn to end the round. Yeah, Suki peeks at the door and notices it's not there and goes, Booyah! And she kicks the door open.

And the foot just stops right at the heavy metal door. Ow! Ow! It appears to be locked. Uh, okay. Get the door open! I tried. It appears to be locked Okay Get the door open

I tried It's locked I don't have thieves tools I'm not trained in thievery I'm not that strong I also think you Stooped the knife What was that?

You stood on the knife I also think Point of? You stood on the knife. I also think... Point of order. You stood on the knife. I have a question. I was looking at my Dispel Magic. It's only a level two, so I just want to make sure this is correct

if I try to cast it. It's my base bonus and ability bonus. Is the spellcasting DC that you would go against correct? Attempt to counteract check against the target if you successfully counteract a magic item via item. So it's just a counteract check against the target, which

is me, the spellcaster. Oh, so I'm making the check. Yeah, you're making the check. Just like Atticus did last week. So I'm rolling and adding... Joe, what did you use for your counteraction? I used my spell attack roll, which is

essentially your proficiency bonus plus your primary casting stat. Do you have any spells that you cast at people that are attacks? That don't require a save? Yeah. So what is that number?

It should be like plus 15 for you, probably. Plus 16, something like that. Yeah, it's plus 16. Yeah. So then I'm just rolling a d20 and doing the plus 16? I guess. What are you trying to do? Counteract?

Spell magic. Trying to dispel the kukri. The kukri. Great. All right, and dispel Magic is a level two spell. Yes. So you're using that as the number. For the counteract.

Yeah, for the counteract. All right, so go ahead. Roll plus 16. Okay. Oh, Natty 18 plus 16. 34. Yes. All right, so you rolled a 34,

and so it's going to be against the DC of the caster right yeah this is amazing what you guys are doing to this encounter all right so that is enough to dispel the kukri that is so cool remember how hard it was in 1e

to ever use dispel magic to dispel anything Never worked Spiritual weapon is a second level spell So I mean it couldn't have been easier Yeah Unless I did something wrong but yeah no Second and second

That's my whole turn I tried to kick the door and then I Dispelled it and then she turns around She says someone get this door open quick Move out of the way Someone get this door Open quick. Move out of the way. Someone get this door open quick. All right. It's round two. And it's Aldo's turn.

I'm just going to delay. Yeah. Okay. And it's delay. What is that again? Is it one action or two action? Free. It's free.

It's the same. I'm thinking of ready. Ready is two action. Ethel. Do I see any of the guys in the room still through this murder hole? There's one. Okay. Ethel is going to

first action draw his hatchet. Second action throw it through the murder hole at the guy. Nice. Okay. Alright, I'm going to give him a little bit of cover. I'm going to give him standard cover actually. But fire away give him standard cover, actually. But fire away. You've got good aim.

Fire away. Fire away. That's going to be a 24 to hit. That was a miss. Okay, the hatchet returns to my hand. Amazing. And I throw it again. It returns width-wise. It doesn't fit through the murder hole.

Damn it. So you catch it and fucking fire it back? Amazing. So cool. This one's going to miss, too. 21, yeah. 21's a miss, yeah. Okay, those are my actions.

Is the door open yet? All right, well, you see the third one run. Okay, that is my Those are my actions Is the door open yet? Alright, well, you see the third one Run out of the room So the guy who just threw the hatchet at Also runs out of the room Coward! Coward! Come back, you coward!

It is Atticus' turn Atticus is going to Step up and attempt To disable the device Alright, and your master is Atticus's turn. Atticus is going to step up and attempt to disable the device. All right, and you're a master in, excuse me, you are trained in thievery and have thieves' tools, right? Correct.

I don't know if the lock requires an expert at this level. I'm worried that might be the case. This particular one, let's roll a check and see what happens. Okay, here we go. That is a 26. You went too quickly.

26. Now, you know, I'm sure you know, oftentimes when you're trying to pick locks, you have to do multiple successful checks. And criticals give you two successes. In this case, you have one success. Lord's picking the lock. It seems to be working. I just need a moment. Yeah, it's like the little fucking tumbler. What is it called?

Yeah, tumblers. You got one. Work the lock, work the lock. I'll tumbler for you. I'll tumbler for you. Do you have any other actions yet? Can you do another check? Actually, I forgot because I'm not very good at this.

It is a 27. If that happens to be a crit, I highly doubt it. It is not. Okay. I forgot the item bonus. All right. No, that was it. Disabling device is two actions.

So it's not like you can just like one action disable, one action disable, one action disable. It's brutal. It's brutal. Trying to do it in combat. I mean, that's what makes this. It's supposed to be non- like one action to table one action to say well one action to table It's brutal. It's brutal trying to do it in combat. I mean that's supposed to be not bad. Yeah, yeah It does make sense though like it's you know come on. It's Vasquez like yeah, I think it's just like yeah Well, that's what that is reverse It's reverse, but it, but you can feel that pressure. It's like hurry up. It's like I'm working on it hurry up I'm going you know what I mean. It's just like can only can feel that pressure. He's like, hurry up. He's like, I'm working on it. Hurry up. I'm going. You know what I mean?

It's just like, and it's such precise work. All right, well, that's what makes it so cool is because if you're trapped in here and you're just getting hacked and spelled through these murder holes and you can't even open the door or you're making these checks one round at a time to try and break through to see what's going on. But the good news is they have left the room and the one that just ran out readied an action and uses those two actions right now to open the door. Oh! What magic is that? Oh, what are those? Let's take a peek at foes that you have fought several times now, but these ones look

a little bit different, and you're level 9. So can you curb stomp them? Or do they have more to give? Right out the gate, the one standing right at the door goes to cast a spell on Atticus. Give me a Fortitude save.

Touches you. Fortitude save. Trying to see if I have any juice here. Okay. I will roll the fortitude save. Natural one. Oh, Joe.

Oh, Joe. You are quite ice cold. Yeah, You are quite ice cold. Yeah, I'm quite ice cold. And I presume that... Is there a new hero point? New session? Yeah.

It's a new episode. It's a new session. It's the same sort of combat, but I don't know. Same sort of combat. It's a new episode. I give myself a new one every episode. Yes, I will say. And I mentioned this offhanded to Joe

the other day. We will not be doing this in Gatewalkers. The error points are going to be very, very different. One would say non-existent. Cue the Matthew eye roll, which is so warranted. Almost non-existent Matthew eye roll which is so warranted almost non-existent

Jared would give it to us Jared would give it to us yeah I mean if you want to re-roll it you have the in this current iteration of the game you have a hero pointer in that case I will use it which by the way would be every hour and a half you get a hero

it doesn't work quite as well as the game intends. You're not supposed to get a hero point every hour on the hour when you play. Well, you're not supposed to do this on TV, so. That's true. That's true. That is now a 25. Okay. Fail, not a critical fail.

So you'll take 17 points of damage from a heightened chill touch. Oh, yeah. Chill touch. That would have been 34 points of damage. Instead, a measly 17. And that was the one right here to the south. I'm going to take my turn now okay the one to the south opened the door?

no the one to the north opened the door here and this one reached through oh that was a readied action so that was the end of his turn yeah and then go ahead Aldo you're good okay hold on sorry so his turn is over because and then go ahead, Aldo, you're good. Hold on, sorry. So his turn is over because he only took two actions. Yeah, no, I know.

I want to stay there on the other side. Okay. Aldo, he's going to throw a bottled lightning at the dude in the middle. Yes! Okay. Okay, that is a 29 to hit.

29 to hit. Let's see the tabs I have going on. I do not envy you, Rachel. 29 to hit is a hit. Okay, awesome. Bottled lightning. Thunderstruck! Oh, nice. Okay, that is that is oh come on man okay that is that is 15 points of

damage uh four points of splash damage to the guys on yes. And the guy in the middle is flat-footed. Awesome. Okay. I am now, with my second action, going to throw a Dread Ampule at the guy in the middle. Oh, man, crushing it. That's a 28 against flat-footed. That should be a hit. 28 against flat-footed is a hit. Wow.

Okay. Oh, amazing. Nice. Oh, max damage. Oh. That is 16 points of mental damage. Four points of mental damage to either guy on the side of him. Oh.

And the guy in the middle. Mental splash damage? Yeah. What is that? How does that manifest? Oh. Oh. It's just like a shockwave of brain power.

They just see that it's empathetic pain. You just see it. Yeah, it's like a shockwave of brain power. It's empathetic pain. Yeah, it's like a shockwave of cringe humor. And he is frightened one, the guy in the middle, as well as flat-footed. Okay. And with my final action, I am going to use my occult going to use my Occult Pendant and give Guidance to Ethel. Guidance to Ethel. Amazing.

All right, it is the Denizen of Lang's turn. You just fuck up. And he is going to, he's actually going to stand right there and cast a spell on Atticus. So Atticus, give me a will save. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. Come on. Yes!

Did you say will save? I did. That's 34. Ooh! 34. Okay! 34. Okay. Sorry, so that is a success. So in terms of damage, you're going to take... All right, so I cast Phantom Pain on you.

So it's full initial, but no persistent. So in this case, full initial. Do you remember when you interpreted that as max damage? Full initial. I have to roll it. All right, so that's still going to be 84 damage. Wow. Holy poop.

On a success. Yeah, which is something I wasn't very correct in the past. That's 23 points of damage. Yeah, which is something I wasn't very correct in the past. That's 23 points of damage. And you don't get the persistent damage on a success. The spell ends immediately. So you just feel the sight. That's a great spell.

Is that an illusion spell? I need, I need, it's a phantom pain. Phantom pain, yeah. It is a illusion, mental, non-lethal. Yeah, illusion. You must, must, must get that spell. Yeah, it's fucking great. I've been using it left and right and not even dealing

the full damage. And on a failure that persistent, it's brutal. I mean, it fucked up Ethel in several combats in the past. Alright, so that was his two actions, and likewise, I just want to stay there right now. I'm not going to spend a third action. Actually, no,

I might as well just take an attack because I haven't used the attack trait. So I'll go ahead and just try and stab you with a kukri and that's going to be a 30. Yeah. Alright. That is going to be 16 points

of regular slashing damage plus 1d6 persistent bleed. Oh, he's going down. Those Kupris are nasty. All right. Oh, man. Brutal. 1d6 persistent bleed. This is a very interesting combat

that has taken a weird turn here, but I still think you guys have the upper hand. It is now Eris's turn. Damn it. Okay. Shut. So I need to move, because a lot of my spells, I just

need to be closer, and I'm just not sure what I want to do. So I see that Atticus hit the one in the middle. That's great. I also see these guys have, like, rock candy stabs. I do. I also see these guys have like rock candy scat stabs. I do. I do, yes. Yeah.

Are they like... Stir that into a cup of coffee. Different in any way? Did they all have like weird pincer mouths? Yeah, and you've seen this before. Like when they lower their veils, they kind of look like Baraka from Mortal Kombat, if that reference makes sense.

Nope. Google it. So I'm wondering, well, no, no, that's not. So I need to move up at least to here to do things that I want to do. So you move just into the kill room to the north of the entrance. Yeah.

So you move just into the kill room to the north of the entrance. Yeah. And then I also want to take out my staff, which I never use because I forget about it. But I have a staff of necromancy with like skulls and cool stuff on it. Nice. But that's an action. So before I do what I want to do with it, I'm going to use my final action to try to demoralize the one

that's directly to the west of me in a straight line with my intimidating glare. So without even words, I just take out my staff, point it directly at it, give it a good glare. Just because it's not clear here on the

John Ski, the only one you can see because of the door is the one that's right in front of Atticus, so just demoralize that one. Okay, I'll demoralize that one. Oh, but that's only going to give you what? Frightened one? Yeah, he's already frightened. Yeah, the door here is very artistic, but it's not really clear.

It's only a five-foot door in front of that. I take back my compliment on the map. This map sucks! No, I'm kidding. Alright. Well, shit. That Dave map was full of shit. Yeah, you've got to change your name now. What the heck do I want to cast on it, then?

Let's see. What do I got here? to cast on it then? Let's see. What do I got here? You know what? Go ahead and do it. I'm looking at the original map, and that is, it is a 10-foot door that kind of overlaps the spaces weird, so that's fine.

Go ahead and demoralize. I'm gonna try to demoralize you with my gaze. Natural 17. 17, so that's a 34. He is demoralized. Nice. Frightened one. Frightened one like his buddy to the south.

All right. ETT's giving me a little trouble here, but I will get that on shortly. In the meantime, it's Suki and Pepsi's turn. Suki and Pepsi are at it again. Stun. Suki and Pepsi are at it again. Suki is going to cast Electric Arc at the two,

one in the middle and the one to the south. And is it, oh no, you have to make a reflex. Sorry. 25 DC. DC 25 reflex save. Let me just see here their reaction situation is.

Attack you for casting a spell. No, you're good. Alright, so a couple reflex saves. Alright, the one in front of Atticus rolls a 24, and the one below rolls a 31. Okay. So, 4, 5, 6,

7, 8, 9, 10, eleven points of damage to, oh, eleven, thirteen points of damage to the one that failed, and half of that to... Six. Yeah. Because it's not a crit success, so yeah, just half of that. That damage seems low, is that because it's not heightened? It's, oh, actually, sorry. It's one more D4. I have four in front of me, but it's five.

Okay. It's three. What did I say? Add three to what I said. Sixteen. So three more damage and one more damage, essentially. Yeah, so not a ton. Sixteen and eight now.

Gotcha. So two more damage to the one that's saved. Perfect. Every point counts. And then those were two actions for my third. And Pepsi's going to slither on in and attack the one in the center that's flat-footed. He would have to use a tumble-through action to walk through people.

You can walk through your ally. You have to use a tumble-through action to walk through people. You can walk through your ally. You have to use a tumble-through action to walk through an enemy. Even as a snake? Even as, like, a tiny creature? He's not a tiny creature. He's the size of a halfling. He's the size of a hobbit. I keep forgetting.

I think he's technically small in the game, yeah. So if he was tiny, I didn't think tiny. I think he can't move through. I don't know. Maybe. Maybe he did. Okay. So then would that be a move

action and then he has to take a second action to get in there you're saying tumble through as an action no part of the movement is the tumble is the tumble through action but yeah so it's uh what is it athletics against it's acrobatics excuse melex DC. Okay. So we're acrobatics. He's really good at acrobatics. That's your natural 18 for a 32. Yeah, you get through with ease. Which is awesome. And that's cool.

Yeah. So now you're back there and you're flanking with Atticus. That's your final action, right? Or no, you have three actions. No, I only have two actions. It's the move and then that was his second. I made a mistake. He gets three actions. No, I only have two actions. It's the move, and then that was his second. I made a mistake. He gets two actions. His action, his third action is, like, my command of him.

We share that action, so. Well, I had to read a bunch of rules. Wait, why can't Pepsi attack? He only gets two actions. We share, like, the command animal. He moved? He moved. He took the, oh, no, you're right.

He should get his attack. Yeah. Yeah, I think you get one attack, and this guy's already flat-footed. Tumble through is not an additional action to the stride. I thought... You stride as part of a tumble through action. Got it. You were trying to trick me, Troy. Yeah, stop trying

to fool people. That's gonna to be 27. 27 in this state is a hit. Nice. What a difference. Ninth level makes. Yeah. That's 10 points of piercing damage as the snake bites your gross leg.

Nice. All right, Sook. That is the end of that round, and it is now Ethel's turn. Ethel, you get up and mash. Can I, will you allow me, if I stand in this northern spot, will I be able to mash this guy in the center? Yes, looking at going back to the original Pathfinder map, you would be able to see him.

It's just here, it's, like I said, a little more artistic. No, the guy in the center, he said. The guy in the center. The guy in the center from the north? Yeah, for sure. Okay. He stood to the north of Atticus. Yeah, so I'll step to the north of Atticus. I'll drop my

hatchet and draw my warhammer with the other hand, so I have the scimitar and the warhammer out. Okay. And then I'm going to do a double slice. Nice. Double slice! Double slice. Double slice! Double slice! Double slice!

Okay, well, I'm going to use a hero point. That's a nice one. Okay, that's much better. Okay, so with the warhammer that's going to be a 28 to hit and the scimitar is going to be a 35 to hit. the scimitar is going to be a 35 to hit

oh man yes that's great uh double slice double slice it's got to be a near crit on the second yeah was it a crit wait uh you said 35 it's flat-footed he's flat-footed the second one is a crit yeah yes amazing yeah warhammer damage is 16 points of bludgeoning. And then with the scimitar, let's get a couple of d6s. 20 points of damage on the scimitar. He's very, very

dead. Yeah! Yeah, kill these guys. Amazing. He's dead. That body falls to the ground. Amazing. Do you still have an action left? Nope. Move.

Double slice. Okay. And number... Okay. Okay, so the one that is now standing right next to you, Ethel, will cast a spell. Actually, he's going to do it anyways. He's going to cast a spell on you.

So go ahead and take your attack of opportunity. Do an attack of opportunity with the scimitar. Oh, come on! Oh, this would be so beautiful. Come on. No. That is, however, 27 hits. 27 hits.

Okay, that'll be 11 points of damage. Okay, 11 points of damage. Now give me a will save. Excuse me, fortitude save. Fortitude. Fortitude. Natty 19. 38. 36. 36.

36 or 38? 36. 36 or 38? 36. And my DCs go down because of Frightened as well. Correct. So that is a critical success. Yes! And that all goes back to Eris and her demoralized... One, two.

We're such a great team. He steps back. Ethel looks back at you and you see his muscles ripple through the rips in his shirt. He's like, thanks. The other Philippian tube also ovulates.

That's how it happens. Oh, man. That's just science. That's just science. There's two tubes, so. Weird things going on in the moon. We are in a dreamland. True.

All right, there are two of these denizens of Leng left. You guys are obviously a lot more powerful now. It is Atticus' turn to compete in there. Yeah, Atticus is on death's door. He stumbles back behind Ethel, grateful for Ethel's brawn and protection, and he immediately casts invisibility on himself. Just vanishes. He's got to get out of there.

And he will then roll a... Do you want me to roll the d6, or do you want to roll it? I rolled it. You take two points of damage. You can roll the recovery check. I will roll the recovery check. 15. Nice.

Amazing. All right. That wasn't bad at all. Just an extra two points of damage. Not too bad at all. You're no longer bleeding. Okay? All right.

It is the other denizen of Lang's turn. Where is he? Down at the bottom? Yeah, all right. He is going to slide to Flanking? No, he's going to stay right there, and he is going to touch Suki. Suki, give me a Fortitude save.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Zoinks! Oh, fudge. Except she didn't say fudge. Nice one, Troy. 16,

she says nervously. 16. Final answer? Yes. Final answer means you cannot use your hero point. That is a critical fail. Oh, I should have used my hero point! You're gonna be fine. It's just damage. You'll be fine. I'm so hurt.

Oh, are you really very hurt? No, I'm healed up, but I'm about to be back where I started. Alright, let's see here. This is what Atticus staved off. It's going to be 26 points of cold damage.

Okay. Yeah, honestly, the 34 I would have taken, like, I don't think I would have spent the hero point if I knew that that's what it was. Yeah, it's not terrible. It still stings. Ow! And then he goes to swing his Kubri at you for good measure and rolls a 29. Oh, my hero.

I was freaking out. That hits. All right, that's going to be 15 points of regular damage, or slashing damage, I should say, and you are bleeding. These guys still pack a nice little pow, so you you got to kill them before they kill you. Sorry, what was the damage? 15 points of slashing, and then you'll take lead on your turn. Aldo, you're up. All right, Aldo is going to do the same sequence again.

He's going to toss a bottle of lightning at the guy that just attacked Suki. I can't believe this! Natural 19. That is a 36 to hit. Yes! He is not flat-footed, but that is a hit. So he'll be flat-footed very soon.

Okay, that is seven points of electric damage. There's no other enemies within the splash range, so that's it. But he is flat-footed now. And now against his flat-footed AC, I am going to attempt to throw a Dread Ampule. I'm going to do my hero point, which I haven't even used one in several episodes. You haven't.

Rest assured. That did not do much better. Okay, so that is a miss. That is a 14 to hit. Okay, that would be a critical fail, which means he won't take the splash jam. That's right. And, yep. critical fail, which means he won't take the splash damage. That's right. And

yep. And then with my final action, I am going to use the Occult Pendant this time to give guidance to Suki. Oh, thank you. And I think it was I did it before, but that was

over an hour ago, I believe. So, yeah. You should be able to be eligible for my guidance. I did it before, but that was over an hour ago, I believe. Yeah. You should be able to be... You should be eligible for my guidance. Yeah, that was in the last combat, and you guys did take an hour between combats. Great. It is Eris's turn. All right.

There's two of my friends in my line now of what I was going to do last time with my staff. I'm going to keep my staff in my one hand though and not do what I was going to do. I'm going to cast guidance on myself.

One action. Reach out to the Babiaga. Please help me. And then I'm going to spend two actions to cast spirit object And then I'm going to spend two actions to cast Spirit Object on the rock candy staff that the dead guy was holding. Nice.

So the rock candy staff grows chicken legs. There we go. points itself at the denizen right next to it and just jams itself at it. Alright, so if you cast it on something that someone is holding, does that make any difference?

I mean, is he holding it if he's dead? Oh, you're talking about the dead guy? Yeah, the one that dropped onto the ground. I got you. Alright, so you're animating his, the weapon that fell onto the sand. I like where your head's at, Troy. I like the idea of somebody holding

a spear or a staff and then being like, Oh my god! I never thought about that before. Chicken legs come out of it. So thanks for that. Even better. Alright, so yeah, you're going to attack the guy to the south. Go ahead and roll the attack. It's going to make a melee attack. I'm going to do I mean, bludgeoning seems to make sense on the guy. And it's a spell attack roll.

Yeah, and he's flat-footed, thanks to Skid. And he's flat-footed, and I've got guidance. Natural 18. Yes. So that's a 36 with my plus one. That's a critical hit. Yes! A 36 with my plus one. That's a critical hit. Yay!

Kate's headphones flew off her head in the celebration. Oh, God, what does that mean? Okay, wait, hold on. Chicken staff. So it's 5d4 plus four, so it's double that, right, for critical of success. Just 5d4 plus 4 and then double it. It takes double damage. I think that's all that happens. I don't have 5d4.

I'm using the computer. Where you roll it online? Oh, yeah, do it on the computer. There you go. 13, so that's 26 total. Amazing. Well, 5d4 plus 4? 5d4 plus 4 is 13.

It automatically adds it all together. Oh, it adds the plus 4. So 26 altogether of damage. Awesome. Beautiful. Chicken Rock Candy is back. Hell yeah. Chicken Rock Candy.

You need a new t-shirt. All right, amazing. Suki, you have guidance and you are up. All right. Suki, you have guidance, and you are up. All right. Suki is going to... Whoa. Suki is going to use Electric Arc. She's going to take a step back towards the center.

She did not, before she cast that, she did not like getting hit by the Rock Candy Spear. Yeah. And she is going to cast Electric arc on both of these Johns. Here we go. Nice, Sid. Make a reflex save. Yes, reflex save.

Both of these Johns. All right, the one to the south, oh, no, 26. And the one to the north, 31. Okay, so they both., the one to the south Passes this time He rolled a 24 last time But they are going to take half damage Of my little d4s

That's a 4 5, 6, 7 Suki, never mind 8, 9, 10 Can't. Suki. Never mind. Eight, nine, ten. Can't read. That dice is so dark. Thirteen. So half a thirteen, which is five.

No, six. Six. And they both take it because they both passed. They both take it. Step back. Two action. Electric arc. And we kick it to the next round.

Ethel. Come on, Ethel. Come on, Ethel. Bring us home! Okay, Ethel is going to step in, standing atop the body of the last denizen he felled. Now that you're in there, I can show you some more of the room.

You can see that this hallway stretches down to the south, and there are two doors. One that is open right here, 15 feet away from you. That's probably, I would assume, the room that they came out of.

And then another small door to the south. Great. All right, Ethel is going to first go after the denizen to the south. It's... I'm going to double slice. I'm assuming this guy has some hit points left. Okay. Warhammer and Scimitar.

We've been hot. It's flat-footed. Okay. That's going to be, for the Warhammer, that's a 30 to hit. For the Scimitar, that is a... Scimitar, that is a Scimitar is a

plus 18, uh, 25 to hit. Uh, a hit, and because of Flatfooted, a hit. Nice! Beautiful. Exactly a hit. Whoa. 16 points of bludgeoning damage.

Minimum damage. And, uh, 8 points of slashing damage. Okay. How's he looking? Crazy. Looks like he's on his last legs. Okay, he's flat-footed. I'm going again with the...

Oh, more damage. Okay, I'm going again with the Warhammer. Okay. Natural 20. Oh! You've got to be kidding me! Yes! You've got to be kidding me! Are you serious?

You've got to be kidding me. But you wouldn't have wanted to waste the beheading on an enemy with one of its last legs, you know? I know. Oh, gosh. One day. That's so painful. It's going to happen, man, and it's going to be beautiful.

Okay. All right, so it's going to kill him. 19 points of bludgeoning damage. Did I cave his head in? Well, you rolled a crit, didn't you? Oh, yeah. 19 points of bludgeoning damage. Did I cave his head in? Well, you rolled a crit, didn't you? Oh, yeah. 38 points of bludgeoning damage. I just want to see if there's any extra effects.

He's knocked prone. For sure. Oh, I bet he is. I bet he is. That's the least of his worries. Yeah, he is dead, but you should do a fan crit just to make sure you don't have any bonus Johns. Oh, wait.

I'm a... It was a natural. It's funny. I completely forgot. Sorry. Okay, this one from Eden in Melbourne, Australia. Hey, Eden. Melbourne.

Okay. Melbourne. Boomerang. Deal double damage to your intended target. Your weapon is temporarily imbued with the returning weapon property. Oh. Oh, make a free ranged strike against

any enemy within 30 feet at the same multiple attack penalty as the previous strike, which is your full attack. This range just... Oh, that's right. This range is not... Just fucking throw the Warhammer. I'm going to fucking throw the Warhammer at the other guy's head.

This is like an X-Men fight. Just coming in really... Athol is so cool in this fight. I remember I sealed the wall earlier. It's like, it's totally X-Men fight. Well, it's like Thor. Yeah, exactly. It all comes back to Thor.

Athol is in full beast mode. Yes, Athol is killing it. Oh, you just rolled a natural one. Oh, no. Oh, I just rolled a natural one. He's killing it. Oh, you just rolled a natural one. Oh, no. Oh, I spoke too soon. But that doesn't count on a fumble, because it was

like part of the crit, right? Yeah, you can't fumble on a crit, right? It's only up to one person on this call. I mean, of course. It was an attack. We have to see what happens now. Do I confirm the fumble? I can't remember our rules. You just make them up as you go.

This one from Joe Talavera. Joseph Talavera in Seattle, Washington. Joe's gonna roll. Okay. The gods that hold your fate in their hands are imperfect and often fumble themselves

Joe makes all of your rolls for the next one oh my god he gets the vorpult kill that's the most brutal fumble we've had what if Joe rolls the 20 if I roll the vorpult 20 that's what I'm thinking

it's going to happen I'm going to have you roll the D4 to see how many rounds. All right, D4. Three rounds. All right, so presumably the end of the combat. The remainder of the combat. Oh, my God, this is hilarious. Okay, and that was your last action.

So now. Just put my dice away. Let's see here. It is my denizen's turn. And he is right next to you, Ethel. The warhammer does come back into my hand. It does. It already had the returning property, right?

No, it doesn't. Oh, I didn't realize that. I thought it already had that property. Okay. Okay, he is just going to start with a kukri attack. Brutal. 25 to hit. Miss.

Miss. And then Kukri again at 2. And, you know, I'm just going to attack three times here. Just get it out of the way. That's a 90-19. But it's agile. Sorry. Sorry.

Brand 25 to hit yes okay uh all right so that's his turn that's the last guy rough shape it is atticus's turn um and this is atticus is he was going into full self-preservation mode but we we have we have to stop playing this episode uh so he is going to do his best to deal damage. So he's going to come out of invisibility with almost no hit points and do a telekinetic projectile at the guy in the back corner. Just try to hit him. Here we go. Miss. God damn it. Natural five.

And that's his turn. And I saved on the persistent before, so I'm good. Okay, Aldo. Alright, Aldo is going to step up into the room, edging his way past Atticus next to Suki to get a clear view of the final remaining

guy, and he's gonna do his normal thing. He's gonna throw a Bottle of Lightning. Oh, that's a 19 to hit. That's going to throw a bottle of lightning. Oh, that's a 19 to hit. That's not good. Nope, you get the splash. Okay, so that is five points of splash damage. Okay.

And he's going to throw another bottle of lightning. 20. So that's another five splash damage. Okay, that adds up. And that's another 5 splash damage. Okay, that adds up. That's it.

Okay, that's Aldo's turn, and now it is Eris's turn. All right. I'm telekinetic projectiling at it. So let's go. Let's see what you got. It's a natural nine. So that's a 26 to hit. 26 with the frightened. No, that's not math.

Actually, he's not frightened anymore. It's 23 to hit. Oh, that's a mess. I'm going to use my hero point. Okay. Okay. God, I rolled a nine again. Oh, no. Frick. Okay. One more action. Okay God I rolled a nine again Oh no

Frick Okay well so that didn't work I've got one more action left Um What can I do Uh Frick Oh I didn't demoralize it

Have I or no It doesn't have any buffs on it. Any debuffs? Yeah, no, you can try demoralizing now. It already lost its friend. I'm going to demoralize it again with my eyes. Natural 16. So that's 33.

33 against my Will DC. No, you cannot do it again to the same target for 10 minutes. Oh, poo. Do I just move, Eris? Yeah, I'll move. I'm going to move up to right next to Suki. We're going to form a wall of intimidation. To protect Atticus.

So sweet. Well, it is Suki's turn. Suki, what do you got? Suki commands Pepsi to take a bite Yeah do it Drop my d20 That's gonna be I think that's gonna hit 13 plus Once Pepsi's

27 27 hits exactly Nice Okay Max damage 11 points of piercing 27? 27 hits exactly. Nice. Boom, baby. Okay. Chipping away. Max damage. 11 points of piercing.

Wow. And then Suki is going to cast her classic electric arc because she's trying not to use all her good spells on this one dude. Do you not have telekinetic projectile? I do have telekinetic maneuver. Interesting. But it's one of my... I was going to say, electric arc is like a two-target spell, and now that we're down to one target,

I didn't know if there was something better. No, it's my only unlimited cool spell. Damaging spell, yeah. Yeah, I do have acid spell. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Electric arc, bazoom. Bazoom, reflex save. Oh, that's probably going to be a fail.

That's a 24. Failure. Nice. Full damn coming up. Full damn zoning. Five. Twelve. Fourteen.

Twelve. Fourteen. What? I rolled a 12 plus 2, my electric. I was just saying numbers out loud. It's plus 4 at least, isn't it? Oh, no. No.

Okay, right, right. Sorry. It's plus 2. All right, you take 5 points of bleed damage, Suki. Now give me a flat check, DC 15. I forgot about the bleed, but you didn't. A 19. Oh, okay, great.

You're no longer bleeding. I'm just quite hurt. You guys are on fire here. I mean, this is amazing, watching stomp them. Alright. I could have easily ended this, because obviously you have this battle in hand,

but two reasons I didn't. One, I wanted to chip away, see some people bleed. And two, I have to see Joe roll. Oh, yeah. Joe, please prepare your dice. Ethel, what attacks are you going to be doing this to? I swear to God. I think this should carry over, too.

If this fight doesn't end here, this should carry over to the next episode. Yes, Joe has to roll. Double slice. It's one for the Warhammer, one for the Scimitar. Plus 19 on the Warhammer, plus 18 on the Scimitar. Okay. The epic white die is the Scimitar. Here we go.

Oh, snowy. I'm sorry, what is it? Plus 18, plus 19? Plus 19 on the Warhammer, plus 18 on the Scimitar. Here we go. Snowy. I'm sorry, what is it? Plus 18, plus 19? Plus 19 on the Warhammer, plus 18 on the scimitar. Okay. Scimitar is the nat 20. No nat 20. Two hits. Actually, and 35 is the one.

Yeah, so no, not a crit, but two hits. Two hits. Alright, give me the damage. Oh, you're gonna flange, bro? Oh, I'm rolling the damage damage Oh god, what is it? 2d8 plus 7 on the Warhammer 2d6 plus 6 on the

Oh my god, boxcars on the Scimitar Alright, so 18 points of damage on the Scimitar And then 2d8 plus 7 on the Warhammer 17 on the Warhammer And you kill it in the first place Yes! So high on the Warhammer. 17 on the Warhammer. And you kill him in the first round. Yes! Wow! So high on the damage dice.

That was awesome. When you're not doing it for you, you roll well. I rolled a natty 16 and a natty 12 on the D20s. I mean, come on. And I think Skid is right.

This has to carry over to the first two rounds of the next combat. Yes. In Boulder. Speaking of which, we'll see you in Boulder! We'll see you in Boulder!

We'll see you in Boulder! We'll see you in Boulder! Look at his face! Yay! That was amazing! Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glasscanon.