The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 74 – Ghosts in the Machine
Episode Date: May 9, 2023The heroes continue their exploration of the west side of the prison by heading upstairs. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel and Kate Stamas as they tour ...the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/ysQ_3h_eaqA For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey, I just got us a new Coca-Cola spice.
Nice.
What's it taste like?
It's like barefoot water skiing
while dolphins click with glee.
Whoa, let me try.
Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola
through waving waters as a mermaid sings.
Nah.
It's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors.
Yeah.
Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today.
You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Good evening and welcome to the show.
Do you guys remember the Challenger shuttle?
Some of you are a little too young to remember the Challenger shuttle.
You may have learned about it in history class,
you may have learned about it in history class but it was a
it was a rocket ship
with
passengers
that fucking exploded
like minutes after takeoff
wasn't funny Kate
it wasn't funny
to Kate I've also never referred to it
as a rocket ship
with passengers
I couldn't think of rocket ship filled with passengers. What are you, 12?
It was a space shuttle filled with astronauts.
A space shuttle full of astronauts.
Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos were on it. Passengers.
I was trying to modernize
it for today's audience so they understood.
Now anybody can go to space.
It was a rocket ship full of passengers.
It was a flying disc.
So, well,
I'm not 100% wrong here. It's getting to my point so it was very traumatic
uh we all like stopped school school and they wheeled in fucking tvs uh little tube tvs let's
watch the challenger take off well because there was also famously a teacher on board who was going
to be leading classes like lessons from space a non-astronaut. A teacher.
No, she was an astronaut. She was trained as an astronaut,
but she was a not pilot.
Kristen McAuliffe.
Do you know why she was on
there? She was
a last-minute replacement.
Do you know who she
replaced?
No,
I don't remember.
Don't look it up.
I'm not. Carmelo Anthony.
Big Bird.
Originally,
Big Bird was supposed to be on the Challenger shuttle.
It was going to be this whole thing,
Big Bird going to fucking space,
and he didn't fit.
And they were like,
let's get the school teacher. Like he didn't fit with the suit on? Yeah, he didn't fit and they were like, let's get the school teacher.
Like he didn't fit
with the suit on?
Yeah,
he didn't fit
with the suit on
into the shuttle.
He didn't fit with the vibe.
They were gonna make
the guy
who puppeteers Big Bird
wear the Big Bird suit
as they flew to space.
They don't want Carol Spinney
to go to space.
They want Big Bird.
How much gas
it probably costs
to bring that big suit
up there?
We'll get back to that.
Yes. Kate,
you are right. It was
a little bit of an odd delivery, but you are
correct. She's right. She's right.
You are right. You're missing the point a little bit.
Let's just say
it doesn't surprise me at all. Can you imagine
how much gas would have been wasted
if they had put Carol Spiti on that spaceship? Luckily luckily they put that 85 pound school teacher on and said the point is
if big brit was gonna go on there and imagine the horror of all these children watching and
just fucking feathers everywhere i mean it is horrifying i mean it was horrifying at the time
uh and if but i mean it's not like it would have been worse death is death is terrible but It is horrifying. I mean, it was horrifying at the time.
But I mean, it's not like it would have been worse.
Death is terrible.
But it's just, I read this little factoid the other day, and that may not be true, but Big Bird was supposed to be up there.
I think it's not true.
You think it's true?
Is that?
I mean, I watched a documentary on this whole thing.
I can't believe they wouldn't mention Big Bird.
I'm looking it up.
Yeah.
I just Googled Challenger Big Bird and Google said, may seem like an unlikely passenger on a spacebound mission, but the puppeteer inside the yellow feathered suit, Carol Spinney, had actually been invited to join the Challenger mission.
Hmm.
And they replaced him with Kristen McAuliffe.
And.
I don't think it was. It had a birth and then they were like
cut big bird I think
it seems like when I'm reading here they reached out
and it was like actually I don't think it's going to work
I heard it was a suit issue they couldn't fit the suit in
that's what Carol Spinney said
that was Spinney's spin
Spinney's spin
it's interesting to think what Sesame Street would do
like what's the pivot
if that happens like it's like when mr hooper died they would they would acknowledge it
and teach you about face face up to it yeah yeah yeah that was uh it was a dark time i think what
happened is that someone wised up and realized that big Bird can't fly.
It's possible. Have we considered the possibility that Big Bird...
It's a flightless bird.
It would be tantamount to...
It's against nature.
Have we considered the possibility that Big Bird did it?
Whoa.
Out of bitterness.
Because he wasn't allowed to go?
Yeah.
Let me just get this right, Matthew.
You're saying your theory is that Big Bird sabotaged the Challenger mission?
I think that's worse than me laughing, honestly, saying that.
Do you guys know?
I would buy it if they had said that Oscar the Grouch couldn't go.
Right, it's more of his nature.
He would maybe do it.
Or Elmo.
To murder a ship full of astronauts is more of Oscar's.
It's in his nature.
What a grouch.
A ship full of passengers.
Oscar, you're such a grouch.
Do you guys know the image of the iceberg of conspiracy theories?
And like at the top of it, the iceberg that's out of the water is like normal conspiracy theories.
And then below the water, there's things like medieval found footage.
And like 9-11 was an accident.
Just like a bunch of random things.
But this would be on there.
It would be like Big Bird blew up.
Sabotage.
Sabotage the Challenger.
I mean, all we're saying is he had motive he had motive there was there
was motive he has means because he has an entire army of puppeteers and puppets that is disposable
here's a quick question um who looks more innocent than a muppet yeah you could have
gotten right on there all we have to do is establish establish opportunity and we've convicted him.
Now, I know that everybody likes being real silly all the time and making fun of national tragedies.
But I actually have an honest question.
I want you to really, really, really think about it.
If you personally were invited by Bezos to go on a ship that was going to go into orbit and land, so it was going to
go into space and then come back down, would
you go? Would you accept the ticket
to space? Kate says no. Matthew, no.
Those are two quick no's. Sydney?
Free. Bezos?
Well, a completely
as safe as it can get rocket
ship. Why not
NASA? Sure, NASA.
NASA astronaut.
It doesn't matter.
NASA?
That's different.
Yes.
SpaceX?
No.
Okay.
So NASA, who, by the way, buys a lot of their shit from SpaceX.
NASA.
Still no.
I ship to the space station.
The point is not who flies.
The point is who you think makes the safest rocket ship.
Would you still go?
Because it's always never 100% safe.
I'll go.
But would they give me, like they give celebrities honorary doctorates, would they give me honorary astronaut certification?
You are an astronaut.
If you go up into space, you're an astronaut.
By definition, you are an astronaut.
But you did also just, I believe, refer to yourself as a celebrity.
That's what I heard.
Like they give other celebrities.
Would they give me an honorary astronaut degree?
I meant akin to giving a celebrity a doctorate that they never earned.
I'm like, me, can they just make me an astronaut?
Because I go.
But apparently that is how it works.
You'd have to go through some training, I imagine. Skid, would you take a flight, an actual flight on a rocket like we have today?
I really, really would want to.
But at my age, I'm concerned.
I also was reading about William Shatner's experience going into space.
Yeah.
And he was saying, like, he had this existential crisis.
Yeah.
He's like 90, like going up into space.
It like ruined the end of his life, he said.
It was like he, it was something like he said, he had this realization.
It's like, is this all there is?
And it crushed him.
And now he's just like super depressed, presumably until he dies.
What?
Deep.
Sad.
That's the reason why I wouldn't want to go.
I didn't know that.
Someone already experienced that.
Like, not only do you have to like pass a fitness test and like do G-force training.
Like, I don't want to do that.
Maybe I'd pass a fitness test, but definitely not the G-force stuff.
I'd probably pass out.
And then once I get up there, I'm pretty sure I would freak out.
And you're not supposed to,
you're supposed to be like mentally sound
to be an astronaut.
So I'm disqualified.
That's very thoughtful.
It is.
It's very thoughtful about your own limitations.
I think that I would,
there would be puke completely covering
the inside of my mask.
It would just be like,
like all over the inside.
Troy, would you actually go to space
if they offered you the ticket?
And they said, we're going to make content out of this.
And we'll put it on the Glass Cannon Network's YouTube.
Would you do it?
I'd do anything for content.
But I've spent the last couple minutes trying to figure out the perfectly worded joke about Big Bird going to court for this.
And them calling to the stand Snuffleupagus.
But he was the only one that could see him.
It was like a great joke that I just
can't... There's a real funny joke
in here.
I'd like to call to the stand Snuffleupagus
and the door's open and no one walks in.
It was a joke here.
No, I wouldn't go to his face.
Because he wants to call Snuffleupagus as a character witness?
Right.
And no one shows up. He's like, sir,
I don't know what you're talking about there's a giant elephant
he's right there he was just here there he's definitely something there uh no i wouldn't
bungee jump i wouldn't skydive and i wouldn't take a uh a rocket to the moon okay all right
if you wouldn't skydive yeah you probably wouldn't take a rocket ship. I have a more complicated answer. I feel like in 20 years, when my daughter is no longer financially, hopefully, hopefully no longer financially dependent on me.
20 years?
30 years?
Matthew, yeah, give it like 30, 40 years.
She's going to be a self-starter.
She's going to work at a gas station.
She's working at a gas station.
She's going to own a chain of gas stations up and down the eastern seaboard.
No, but
in 30 years. I only have enough gas to put
Big Bird in that space shuttle.
Big Bird in the moon.
Check that suit up there.
We've never had enough gas before.
Big Bird, I'm like loaded up
in my 30 years from now
spacecraft and ready for liftoff
and then I like turn and it's like slow motion and Big Bird just starts like walking down.
I don't like his helmet under my arm.
This is bad.
There's not enough gas.
Turn around.
In 30 years, I imagine that maybe we'll do a little more than just like go up and come down.
So I think that would be –
There would be hotels up there like in 2001.
There would be hotels and you can go stay and watch the sunrise for a week or something so you'd wait
till you can go with your daughter when she's old enough to go to space that's what you're saying
she's not coming that's just foolhardy if you're that young if you're that young going to space
it's dangerous yeah if you're really old and going to space it it's much safer. Yeah. If I were to die at that point, my body is decaying anyway.
Joe, you are such a big fan of sci-fi.
Would you go to space?
No, no.
Unfortunately.
Oh, I'd go to space if you could just teleport to space.
I will not ride a combustion rocket off the ground into the atmosphere.
It is wildly dangerous.
You drive a car every day.
I love that comment, too. Same thing. It is wildly dangerous. You drive a car every day. I love that comment too.
Same thing. You participate
in society.
Yeah, yeah. Shockingly
few people have died in space.
No, no, I know. I know. Because most of them live
here on Earth. Yeah. I also
like Kate. Because they go up and come back
down. Yeah, they die on the way back
down. They die.
They don't make it or they die. Or they die die on the way back down. They die. They don't
make it or they die.
Or they die inside, like William Shatner.
Or they die inside.
Oh, man.
Seems like you die if you go to space, period.
No matter how you work it.
Yeah.
You have Kate
crying tonight. Kate's been crying
since we got on the air. She's laughing so hard she's crying.
Everything's so funny.
Well said, Kate.
Well said.
Yeah, no, it's just, it seems foolish.
But it's crazy to think that in our lifetime,
there could be just like,
oh, I was going to go do Mars for a week.
You know what I mean?
Like that's totally possible.
If just fucking regular old billionaires are building rockets,
it's only a matter of time before we have interstellar vacations,
not interested.
Oh man.
That was the cool thing about for all mankind,
which I still haven't finished was that because of the events of that series,
the technological advance advance of the space race went much more quickly.
And so, yeah, there were people living up on the moon
and space station hotels and everything.
That would be cool.
Yeah.
We could have done it.
We could have done it if we just focused on that exclusively.
But we focused on the space.
If the Soviet Union had held up their end of the bargain,
we could have done it.
Just another thing to blame those comedians done it If those dogs we sent to space
Did their friggin jobs
Should have sent a bird
A big bird
Like a really big bird
That's what was scrawled in blood
On the side of the Challenger
Should have brought that bird away
There was room for my suit
I would have paid for the gas There was room for my suit.
Well,
we're going to take this episode into space.
Oh, wow.
Troy, did you get plenty of sleep last night?
Well rested?
Did you work out today?
This shuttle ain't going to blow up.
This one's gonna be uh you
know it's funny it's not funny it was like right after the challenger explosion that like jokes
started going around and i can't what what year was this challenge 86 right wait it's 88 it was
86 it was 10 months before i was born it was 86 all right so I was in first grade and I remember there being jokes.
Was it 86?
Yeah.
Anyways, I remember I was in first grade and I remember there being jokes going around.
And it was the first time that people were like, hey, you can't tell those jokes.
And I'd never really heard that before.
And I remember the jokes.
I will not say them until after the show.
I remember one joke.
Yeah. heard that before and i remember the jokes i will not say them uh i remember one joke yeah uh and i remember my friend victor carillo they we were having a uh an assembly about something else
and one of the vice principals got up on stage and she she was in tears she announced what happened
and my friend victor carillo laughed and he got suspended for a week wow deserved. Deservedly so. Yeah. What was the punchline that he laughed
at? No, he just
he laughed because the space shuttle
exploded. Oh, I thought he was laughing
at the principal crying.
Well, there's probably a little
spice in the stew, but
I mean, he was fucked
up. I was
in third grade.
That makes more sense. I was not alive alive i started first grade 84 i wasn't
i wasn't live either i was in second grade i wasn't alive second grade because i remember
the tv in the front of the room and everything and being wielded what is happening here i wasn't
even in utero yet no you're a stain on your dad's mattress. Jeez. That was somebody else.
That was not Matthew.
It couldn't have been.
It couldn't have been Matthew.
They scraped it up.
Oh, God.
This is going to be my son.
So the whole thing about people telling you how jokes you can and can't make.
He took a little plastic knife and said, you want to see the challenge?
Oh, God.
That's how you were born. I'm really glad you exhibited restraint earlier.
You got to see it.
That's the point.
Last week.
Sorry.
No, go ahead.
I was just going to say,
I think that we should be careful
about all of these failure of the government jokes
that we're making while Sydney is dressed
like a Secret Service agent out for a jog.
Is that?
No, they have no idea.
Between the hat and the things and the ear on your hoodie looks like a throat mic.
Like, it's freaking me out.
You really do.
Big Bird is in the roost.
Big Bird is in the roost.
Catching on.
They're all laughing about the Big Bird challenger thing.
Nobody actually thinks it's real.
Yeah, Big Bird.
No, no, he's not on their radar.
What did you guys say?
We're doing a fun show, right?
Cindy would be the one in our group that actually works for the CIA.
How dare you?
I'm not a narc.
No, but like no one would suspect you.
They should hire me.
Hey, if anybody in the chat is in the CIA,
you guys should
hire me. Look at that hairpin turn.
I'm not a narc. If anyone's hiring me,
I'd love a job.
The pension.
I'm not a narc, but I will
be for money. For money.
Oh, I didn't know you got paid to be a narc.
I'll do that.
You get health insurance for tattling?
Sick.
Well, you took a dinosaur to the moon in this story, in this game we're playing.
And you made it all the way there.
And you did it.
And you broke into this prison.
And you have been exploring it.
You now have a bit of access.
You spoke to the warden, I guess you could say.
He's having a fight with his protege who has a different idea of how the prison should be run.
So the prison is split in two, literally, because there is a device that splits the prison in two to prevent breakouts.
Did he ever discuss the elements of their disagreement?
I don't remember.
Like, did he just say we have different policies?
Yavkev said that he believes in rehabilitation.
That's right.
That's right.
Okay.
So the other guy believes in –
Arknar is apparently very torturous.
Got it.
He likes torture.
That's his thing.
torturous.
Got it.
He likes torture.
That's his thing.
And I think he probably thought that Yathkev was a little too soft and decided to take matters into his own hands.
And so you use some magic and you get to the other side of the prison.
You get in there.
Atticus casts Invisibility Spear, which is always a risky spell because pretty much you cast it and you hope the next room
is immediately in there with an enemy.
And if it's not, it's very hard for that spell to last long.
But you're doing your best to try and keep that spell going.
You decide to go up the stairs, but then you're like,
oh, we've got to look over here.
Oh, we've got to look over there.
Oh, we've got to look.
And you find that one of the cells has someone in it.
And so Aldo, just curiosity got the better of him.
He needed to say hello.
And you talk to this woman.
Her name is Diani Kateri, I believe.
A Sirianni woman, a former academic, as she tells you,
when she starts ranting about something,
about having taken a turn in her studies
to see beyond, to see beyond the stars,
beyond the tapestry.
And you see this a lot in cultists.
They want to contact the others
so that they can be their herald when they come to Earth.
She says that she sort of stumbled into it
and thought like a fool
that when they came,
she would be exalted as their herald.
And she realized somewhere along the way,
no, they will destroy everything.
And so she doesn't want to be rescued,
as Aldo mentioned.
She wants to die here
because it would be better to die here
than to be back on Galarian,
is what she's saying,
for when they come.
And then she starts speaking in tongues
and that's where we ended the episode.
So let's go back to the map.
Let's get some first impressions
because I knew you guys look a little shook
after the end of the last ep.
Well, someone should tell her that if you die here,
you wake up being Galarian.
Or don't.
Maybe we shouldn't tell her that.
I don't know if she, I don't know how the rules work.
Like, I don't know if you can become, like,
a permanent resident.
If you can get citizenship in the Dreamlands,
and if you die here, then you just die.
I don't know if you have to have this split
kind of existence or not.
I feel like it's rare that
we do have a split.
I feel like it's rare that we get to wake back up.
Yeah, like I mean, the,
you know, I think a lot of the denizens here,
they only exist in the Dreamlands.
So,
I think we might be a special class of person that does have
a split reality yeah remember all those dreamers in the woods like they they were trying so for so
long to get to the dreamlands like they couldn't get here most i think most of the people here just
live here i think yeah I think. Yeah, it's dark magic. But she lived in Osirian.
So would she...
Yeah, that's a good question.
Do we have any sort of idea about that, Troy?
If that is...
Can you like forego your kind of earthly...
Your material existence.
Your material self and just something that can't happen you haven't
heard that um but there's no reason having spent as much time as you've spent now across the dream
lands to think that that wouldn't be possible you see these vice dens like where you spoke spoke to
that night hag um when you were trying to like figure out who the assassin was and then you end
up having to assassinate her.
Um,
like there,
there was a whole society there.
What's to say that people don't come and like,
Oh,
this is the place for me.
I'm just going to stay here now.
I'm going to stay asleep forever.
Hmm.
Hmm.
It's so interesting too,
because like Cthulhu is supposed to be he's supposed to be sleeping himself
and it's just like isn't there a thing
it's just like one of the this is where all
the this all of reality
is like the dream of like one of the elder gods
and if he ever wakes
like it'll be shattered
isn't that something
it's definitely something
or it certainly could be an interpretation of it.
Yeah.
I mean, Aldo, you're talking to her.
Do you want to talk to her more or should we just...
Yeah.
She's like gibbering and...
Sorry, it's Azathoth.
I knew it was really close to my mind.
It's Azathoth.
Okay.
All of reality is believed to's Azathoth. Okay.
All of reality is believed to be Azathoth's dream,
and we have to make sure that he stays asleep.
Yeah, that's right.
Blind idiot god.
Right.
That's right.
So, yeah, she's gibbering, and Aldous is going to say,
look, I just came up here to make a silly joke,
but you're clearly not in the mood,
so I'm just going to, and I'm just going to sidle away and try to rejoin the invisibility sphere while it lasts.
Okay.
As you're sidling away, you hear a voice coming from the north section of the cells, the section you haven't explored. It's like, quiet, quiet.
They'll come back.
Shut your mouth.
Do we recognize the voice?
No, sounds like a woman.
But don't recognize the voice.
Okay, let's go up.
Let's move.
Ethel?
Yeah?
Can you move us all again?
Go, move us.
We need to adjust our shape
there we go there we go everybody's
within 10 feet
alright so we'll move up toward the
north there Troy
once you get to the
top corner there
you'll be able to see down
if you want to slide up there
and you see
another row
of cells with one
woman
that one's got a pawn
yep
what is that thing
what's that
what did we hear about the upstart
piper above the cells is that what we
what's the line yeah back in Boulder What did we hear about the upstart piper above the cells? Is that what we...
What was the line?
Yeah, back in Boulder.
Which was a couple weeks ago now.
Isn't that crazy?
You heard.
Has that upstart piper...
Where the fuck is it?
Has that upstart piper above the cell blocks attacked yet?
So perhaps Yath Kef thought he was talking to one of the guards.
Is the upstart piper...
Arknar.
Arknar?
Is that just like another name for Arknar?
Yeah, that's what you...
That's like a...
It's kind of what you get unless one of his minions is a piper.
Where are the stairs, Troy?
The stairs are
right...
I should go more here. Right to the right
of Suki.
Oh, there we go.
There's stairs right here.
There we go. I just saw them.
We're gonna go up the stairs.
Yeah, we're ignoring this woman in a cell.
Shut up!
Suki, it was unnecessary.
Quiet!
I'm busy!
Quiet!
Suki, why are you being so rude?
Ethel in the lead with Pepsi at his side.
Trusty Pepsi.
Pepsi is like with me.
I like how Ethel's shaking out his arms for battle,
and he's got his warhammer in one hand
and the scimitar in the other and he looks to his side
to see who's going to be his companion
and it's a snake that once tried to ride an arrow
and did successfully
did successfully
about a 45 pound snake that rode an arrow
fired from a short bow
it's a dream
it was all a dream.
A horrible, horrible
dream.
Alright, so you guys are just gonna
deal with her later and go upstairs
and try to preserve some of this invisibility sphere.
Preserve some of our dignity.
Perhaps some of that as well.
Alright.
Alright, are we gonna take it to the other
John? John? Take it to the other John
John
Let's uh
Let's go to a new map
Take it to the bridge
John
Oh no there are doubles of us
There's our other selves
Oh no
See there is another
Flesh warp witch here
What did I tell you Um are in the western reach. See, there is another flesh warp witch here.
What did I tell you?
All right, so you are there.
Let's reveal the room, and then we'll talk about it.
The room and its... Kisses, then we talk.
A denizen.
Oh, my goodness.
Whoa, somebody needs a jump. Oh, my. Whoa, somebody needs
a jump.
Oh, no.
Wow.
Oh, no.
This looks so bad.
Oh, boy.
This is one of the worst things I've ever seen.
I was not expecting this, I will say that.
I don't know what I was expecting, but it was nice.
So, yeah, if you're
listening at home, what they are reacting to
are the more
than half a dozen torture devices
filling this
large chamber.
There are racks and
Iron Maidens, spiked chairs
and vices.
Most of the implements are stained with
fresh blood, and immediatelyices. Most of the implements are stained with fresh blood,
and immediately as you reach the landing,
there's a coppery tang filling the air.
You see double doors standing in an alcove near the staircase,
as well as in the south and west walls.
And speaking of the west wall, the whole wall is dominated
by a large
apparatus that has
like conical
brass horns
fluted pipes that are
piercing into the ceiling and
oily tubes snaking
from the apparatus to every
single one of the torture devices.
And coming from that machine is this odd, low wailing hum that sounds like,
uh, like a far away scream.
That's just constant.
It's like,
it. It's like... And on the far side
of the room, standing beside this
apparatus, is a dark-skinned woman with
shortish red hair
tinkering at
the apparatus on the wall.
And she looks like this.
Hot.
Okay, she looks human. Okay, she looks human.
Yeah, she looks human.
She's holding a huge pipe wrench.
She also looks comparatively young.
Yeah, she looks young.
She looks evil.
She looks unarmed, unarmored.
She's also got a side wrench hanging off her back there,
so she might be a little more dangerous than we thought.
She looks like she could be just the maintenance crew or something.
Yeah, I don't know if this is Arknar.
Right.
Maybe it is.
That would actually be freaky if it was.
That'd be cool.
Yeah.
That'd be pretty disturbing.
Or if it was an illusion, right?
A glamour.
A glamour.
A glamour.
Joe, you taught us, when you were researching Atticus, you taught us it's the difference
between glamours and what's the other?
Yeah, figment, glamour, and phantasm.
So glamour is when you change the look of something that is there.
Something that is there is perceived as something else.
A figment is something that's not there at all that is perceived to be there.
It's just not there.
And then a phantasm is something that is only in your mind.
Like only you see. It's not there. And then a phantasm is something that is only in your mind.
Like only you see.
It is projected directly into your mind.
So yeah, it could be a glamour.
Could be a figment.
Could be a figment.
Could be a real person that is innocent.
But at the end of the day, I think the safest bet is to start throwing bombs and casting spells as soon as before absolutely we are made
troy would we know if this apparatus has anything to do with powering the stone wall this is not
that switch that we saw no no um i can tell you uh from since you've looked at a model of this, that
that apparatus
is in a room to
the south of this room, to the
southeast. Did we see
this set up in that mini
map that we looked at? It wasn't
covered in blood, and no,
the apparatus and the torture
tables were not on the
model,
so this must be part of Arknar's remodeling.
And the blood is fresh.
Now, just keep in mind, you know, you are invisible.
And as you were moving through,
a couple of you made sounds that alerted Diani.
She couldn't see you, but she heard you.
So this isn't a stealthy bunch.
You could get made here.
Just figure out what you want to do, but just remember you're not, like, perfectly hidden.
Can we see, like, what she's doing from this far away?
Yeah, she's got this double wrench, and she's kind of, like, twisting things and then listening
and then, like, looking at the wiring.
And she just kind of looks like she's trying to fix
or fiddle with the apparatus on the wall.
And she turns around and she looks at the tables.
Maybe walks over to a table,
inspects it, inspects the wiring that's hooked up to it,
follows that pipe along the wall
and then tightens the hose that's attached to the apparatus and then listens again.
Does it look like she's fixing it?
That's the sense you get, yeah.
Can I do a seek action if she comes closer to one of the tables just to see if there is anything fishy in terms of illusions or anything like that,
or if she looks, you know, just like what she looks like, a human.
All right, I'll just do a Seek Action 30.
Yeah, she's bouncing around.
Seek Action 30, no.
She just looks like a young woman.
Okay. Slight framed, but she's hefting that
wrench around like nobody's business
looks like she works with her hands
should we
Ethel leans over to
who's behind me
leans over to Aldo
should I kill her
perhaps let's keep that option in our back pocket for now.
And Aldo is going to step forward out of the sphere.
And say, hello!
Where are you from, originally?
She jumps.
When you come out of nowhere.
She's, oh, I'm sorry, you startled me.
I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone.
What did you say?
I just asked where you were from and, you know, what's your name in that vein My name is
Orsifelius
I'm from here, well not
originally
I took a job here
I guess you could say I'm the maintenance
person here
It's
a difficult place to work these days
It's a terrible thing
It's befallen the prison.
I do hope the two sides can work it out.
Are you with one of the sides?
I'm sorry, what is your name?
My name's Aldo Casimir.
I suppose I'm not altogether on anybody's side, as nobody is altogether on my side.
So we're just sort of feeling our way out here.
My friends and I are there in the other room.
Oh, your friends.
How many are you?
Oh, 50, 60.
It's hard to keep track, you know, there's so many of us and being so powerful as we are.
And what did you say
you were here for?
Are you... Ah, just here for a chat.
Nice, friendly chat. He's like
looking at these tables and
cables leading to them.
The blood spattered on the floor.
So, uh,
if I could turn it around,
what sort of, what do you do in here?
What is this set up? What is this setup?
What is this meant to achieve?
Well, here, this is a torture chamber.
Ah.
Yes, we've expanded it recently upon Arknar's request.
He's the warden here, at least on this side.
It's complicated.
I won't bore you with the details but um you see the prisoners are brought up here and and put through unfathomable uh physical and and and mental strain and and and
we do that in order to learn more about uh why the why they are the way they are you know how
they became bad in the first place i see i see i know i understand go please no well i mean it looks
very effective i mean judging from the uh evidence around me the pools of bodily fluids and the
spiky looking bits on these tables and the ominous cables and everything looks uh i'd be uh quite
scared if i came in here i mean learn a lot from me not that i'm inviting you to try i
mean i don't want you to try it no it's it's it's just for the prisoners and then i understand
torture can be a bit of a divisive subject but it is fascinating isn't it it is for sure and so you
work here you don't like it doesn't sound like you're that enthusiastic about working here though
i mean am i picking up on something oh no no i i do take i do take pride
in my work and in fact this is um my my latest creation here um that i'm working on um and i
bet you haven't seen anything like it from uh wherever you're from um you see it's a device
you might be surprised well you tell me i i i because i'd certainly like to know more. This just came to me as we were experimenting.
See, this device, it captures the cries and screams of those that are tortured to death in this room.
It then recycles them into an endless cacophony of death screams.
In fact, if you're just quiet, if you listen closely, you can still hear
the young man from the
other day.
In fact,
he looked almost like you in a way.
His name was Aleric.
And he
tries to
not reveal
any emotion on his face, hearing
that now familiar name.
Suki clenches,
Suki like instinctively reaches for an arrow
and clenches her bow
and draws it in the invisibility sphere
and is just holding it at this woman.
Yeah, and Aldo,
he probably knows that Suki might be reacting this way, so he's preparing himself for a missile to fly past him into this woman.
See, yeah, good.
uh there's uh seems like you've committed
any number of crimes against
sentients here sort of like
shuffling uh
uh along here along
this row of machines
getting a little closer and she says
no no there were no crimes committed no
not not at all in fact
this was um this was a gift
to learn more about this
young man in particular.
You see, he was very sick in the other world.
So he chose to heal himself in Oz.
He chose.
He chose to come here.
He submitted himself willingly to this treatment.
Sookie steps out of the circle.
She cannot take this.
Bow drawn.
And she says, he would never do that.
And she looks at you
and doesn't flinch and she says,
but he did. No.
You're lying. He came
here, not to this
prison, but to the
dimension of dreams.
To try and heal himself from the sickness that
he faced in your world.
But he was an innocent, and this world is not for the innocent.
He was corrupted, and he made mistakes, and he was punished for those mistakes, and brought
here.
I'm sure Yathkep would try to rehabilitate him,
but there's so much more to learn from pain.
And as she says that,
Suki and Ethel roll a perception check.
Natural three.
20. I also got a natural 3
19
Guys
Hero point
19 it's not bad
19's good
Not great because neither of you notice
The beds
Reaching out to grab at you.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Roll for initiative.
It's deathbed, Bethany.
What?
Wait, there's people on the beds?
No, the beds themselves are reaching out to grab you.
Oh, cool.
Did you mean Aldo and Suki?
Aldo and Suki, yeah.
No, not for the roll.
Suki, you need to step out of the jam.
Yeah. Ethel and Suki, you need to step out of the jam. Yeah.
Ethel and Suki rolled a perception check.
Not Aldo.
Aldo's perception isn't high enough.
Oh, okay.
But it's not reaching out for Ethel.
It's reaching out for Aldo.
It's reaching out for Aldo and Suki, yeah.
Got it.
You guys roll a perception check, and we'll take a quick...
Not a perception check. Yes, roll a perception a perception check and we'll take a quick, not a perception check,
well, yes,
roll a perception check initiative
and we'll take a quick break.
All right, let's talk initiative.
Aldo.
Aldo got a gentleman's 30.
Gentleman's 30.
Oh, Aldo.
Okay.
Atticus. Atticus got a
Richer gentlemen's 31
Also I want to thank
Tyler from the Boulder show
Look at this gorgeous crystalline
D20
Yeah it's very pretty thank you Tyler
That rolled my initiative
Thank you Tyler
Eris 26 Yeah, it's very pretty. Thank you, Tyler. That rolled my initiative. It's awesome. Thank you, Tyler.
Eris.
26.
26.
Ethel.
Do you want me to roll again,
or should I be using my previous perception as my initiative?
No, that perception is for something else. That's to notice these beds moving.
Okay, that's...
Watch out!
This is higher than a natural three,
so it ends up being a 33
Larry, what's your turn?
Suki
A 32
32 for Suki
Okay
Wow, we've got some good rolls here
Yeah, for real
We're bringing it
Alright, let's resolve
This bed situation first.
So basically the implements that are on the beds reach out to strike Aldo,
and another bed reaches out to strike Suki.
So let's resolve these first with my new dice.
This one will be against Suki.
Suki, that is going to be
a 29.
Yeah, that hits me.
Okay, a couple things are going to happen.
First thing that's going to
happen is that you are
going to take some
damage to the
tune of
not
bad, 18 points of piercing damage. And then the implement grabs you and it
grabs you and starts like squeezing you kind of like the straps are squeezing you and pulling you
towards the table. Uh, so you are in fact grabbed, um, give yourself a grab, John. And then the same thing will happen to Skid.
It reaches out.
Oh, boy.
That might be...
Well, I don't know. That might be... It's close to her critical.
41 to hit.
Yeah, that's critical.
It's not a named bed,
thankfully. However...
Oh, okay. That's going to be
36 points of damage.
This is critical.
And you two are just grabbed
by this implement.
And so both you and Suki are
restrained and grabbed
by this bed.
And then we go into round one,
and it is Ethel's turn.
Okay. Ethel's turn. Okay.
Ethel is going to just make a beeline for... I'm probably going to incur a tax opportunity from these beds, but you know what?
So I'll go the long way.
I'm going to go down...
Take the long way home.
Take the long way home.
Okay.
So I'm going to get...
I think I have to use all three of my actions to move up into...
Isn't it fun that you can do that, though?
What, use all three of my actions?
Yeah.
It is pretty fun.
Yeah, so I'm going to stride for three actions
and just rush around the southern edge of the room,
hugging the wall.
Gotcha.
And I'll waste the movement,
but hopefully avoid incurring to get up right in her grill.
And he's going to say,
you stop that right now.
Stop it.
No more.
You cut that out.
That's just about enough of that.
Okay, so Ethel, triple moves.
Very cool to get right up in the grill of this woman.
Suki, you are grabbed.
Here are your options.
You can try to do shit while grabbed,
but you take the penalties from the grab condition.
You can also attempt to escape.
You can attempt to escape multiple times,
but each time is an action.
Yeah, and
if I attempt to shoot, my penalty
is that I have to first roll a DC
5 flat check, right? And if I fail that check,
then I lose my action.
Is that what
restrained is? Yeah.
Immobilized.
You're just grabbed, right? Yeah. Immobilized. Um, it's just, you're just grabbed,
right?
Yeah.
Grabbed is,
uh,
immobilized.
It gives you the immobilized condition.
Yeah.
So it basically says if you attempt to manipulate action while grabbed,
you must succeed a DC five flat check or it's lost.
So I assume if I try to shoot my bow and arrow,
I do the DC flat check,
right?
Uh,
no,
it does not have the manipulate action.
Or the manipulate trait, striking.
So I actually don't take any negatives to shoot my bow and arrow right now.
I'm just flat-footed, so my AC is affected.
Yeah, I guess you're just flat-footed, it affects your AC.
And you can't move.
You can't move, and this thing is squeezing you,
so you don't know what other type of damage it may do.
But yeah, you are free to attack.
You know what?
I will...
You also don't know if you have the, like, strength to escape, too.
It feels pretty tight, so that's the risk.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm just going to...
She was ready to shoot the bow and arrow, and I think she lets it loose anyway.
So I'm going to try to shoot her with my new composite longbow, my striking, and I have the arrows, which are...
Penetrating.
Penetrating.
Thank you.
Penetrating arrows.
All right.
Here we go.
Penetrator!
With your arrows.
That's...
Kate.
That's a 27 to hit?
27 to hit.
Um... that's a 27 to hit 27 to hit um you see her just like
deftly move to the side
and it hits off her
device
shit she's wearing like no
armor
um alright I'm gonna
attempt to um
break out of the grapple then okay that's gonna be the Um, alright, I'm gonna attempt to, um,
break out of the grapple then. Okay, that's gonna
be the escape action.
Um, you, uh,
athletics.
Alright, so you're doing a
uh,
acrobatics or athletics check
or your attack modifier, whatever's highest.
Okay, they're actually all the same.
So that's... Plus two?
29.
No shit!
Okay, you escape.
Oh, nice. Yay!
Okay, so then with my final action,
I am going to
move
away from those tables.
And now I'm at the back of the room
looking basically directly in a straight line
towards this woman who I want to kill so badly.
So, so badly.
Okay, all right, so you step all the way to the back.
Very cool.
Okay, it is Atticus's turn.
Atticus is going to stressfully move up
to the top of the steps Into the wall at this point
The
Like invisibility sphere kind of
Fades away and he
Moves up to that wall
He's going to go
Stressfully reach into his
Belt pouch and draw
Out a wand and then
He is going to take cover
Against the wall he's going to go back up
against the wall to stay out of
line of sight or, you know, anyway,
increases AC from trying to attack
him from the other side of that wall.
Okay, so he slides up to the wall
and takes cover
just in case there is
any action. Just in case these tables can strike
out ten feet, I'm not sure.
Okay, boobity boobity boo. Then it Just in case these tables can strike out 10 feet. I'm not sure. Okay.
Boobity, boobity, boo.
Then it moves to her turn.
Just adjust a couple things here. All right.
So let me just look something up while you guys talk amongst yourselves.
What was I going to say?
Don't shoot penetrating ammunition anymore.
Why?
Do you know what it does?
No.
It shoots in a 60-foot line and hits every target in the line.
It is a level 12 item.
I'm going to go collect that arrow. I think you just wasted it 12 item. I'm going to go collect that arrow.
I think you just wasted it.
No, I'm going to go collect it.
It didn't hit anything.
I'm just going to go grab it.
Each arrow is 400 gold pieces.
Suki doesn't know that.
Hey, you know what?
Honestly, and in this case, it really is true.
You can't take it with you.
Can't take it with me.
If you can line up a couple creatures, it hits everyone in a 60-foot line.
So watch out for your allies, too.
So dope and good to know, because, yeah, I would have accidentally probably hit people.
Thank you, Joe.
You got it.
Can I collect that arrow?
Absolutely not.
We'll roll a d100.
If you roll a 1 or a two, I'll think about it.
The woman, as you're standing there, Ethel,
she turns towards you,
and you see her nose start to change,
kind of like elongate.
And as she does, her ears come out as well,
and her back like starts shedding gigantic
wings as she grows
in size and she
is no longer a little
red haired maintenance person
she is a fucking dragon
of some sort
what?
it was a glamour
amazing
there's no figment physically changed his shape it's no illusion It was Amazing Like she physically
Changes shape it's no illusion
It's like a polymorph
Turns into this
Oh I see I see
Yeah and so she is now
This
And
Oh
Athol that's gotta be scary
Athol's not scared
He's died before
Alright, so that was one
I've been dead before
What is that from?
Star Trek 6, The Undiscovered Country
It's probably my favorite line
in all of Star Trek
It's a good one
Alright, and then
with her final two actions,
she's going to do something called Draconic Frenzy.
Sounds pleasant.
Oh, man.
I can make two claw strikes and one wing strike in any order.
So I get three attacks for the price of two,
but I can mix and match how I do these.
So my claw is agile, my wing
isn't but they all have different reach and what not
so it's pretty cool. So I'm going to
go claw claw wing
so first
claw claw wing
what'd you say? I said
claw claw wing. Oh I didn't say claw wing. Go wait
alright the first
one is a 35 to hit
no no wait
please don't attack me no, wait Please don't attack me
No, no, wait, I didn't mean it
25 points of slashing damage
It's over, dude
It's over
And then the second claw with the map is 29 to hit
That also hits
That also hits
I'm actually surprised, oh no
Okay, 23 points of damage.
And then finally the wing.
Very low chance.
Shroom comes down with the wing.
Oh, good roll.
28 to hit?
That is my AC exactly.
Oh, gross.
Oh, no.
All right, not bad.
Another 15 points of damage.
Oh, gosh.
So she just, draconic frenzy, just right on top.
That took me easily below half my HP.
Damn, man.
These things hit.
It is Aldo's turn.
Aldo, you are still restrained,
but you saw Suki get out with ease.
All right, I am going,
can I do an Arcana check to try to identify this dragon?
Hell yeah.
Alright, I'm going to use my new Norse Foundry.
Norse Foundry, split the dice.
Beautiful.
Beautiful dice.
That is a 29 Arcana.
This is an Umbral Dragon.
The Shadow. The shadow.
Shadow dragon.
Dragon of the shadow world.
Dragon of the shadow people.
Shadow and fire.
Yeah.
These are dragons that originate in the depths of the shadow plane.
They're nasty.
They are nasty.
But like any dragon, there's all different kinds.
There's young, mature, ancient.
With a 29,
I want to give you a little bit.
It's a dragon. They have
a breath weapon.
Do they have any resistances
or vulnerabilities that I
would be aware of?
Let's see here.
Something that would actually be helpful to you.
No weaknesses.
They are immune to negative damage.
They're immune to being paralyzed.
They're immune to sleep.
Okay.
With this in mind,
Aldo pulls from his trusty bandolier a swirling vial, and he tosses a bomb.
God damn it.
Son of a...
I hate our virtual thing.
Um, alright, he's going to throw
a blight bomb.
Oh, actually, no.
He's gonna throw, um,
a bottle of lightning.
He's gonna throw a bottle of bottled lightning
at the creature.
Ugh, that is
a 29.
It's a miss oh
all right uh all right they take four
splash damage okay all right i'm not
gonna be in a lot of use in this fight
no none of us are um all right so three
levels higher than us baby uh i I guess I'm going to try to
extricate myself. It's an athletics check?
Yeah, athletics,
acrobatics, or your attack bonus, whatever
you prefer.
So you rolled rocks, right?
You rolled hide.
Yeah, I'm not.
Oh boy.
I'm just um I'm just gonna throw
uh
no
shit
um man I don't
know uh alright I'll
just I'll try to excret myself even though I won't
I don't okay
alright um
one thing I forgot to do
which we'll do now,
everybody
roll a will save.
Not fair.
After she changed.
Great.
Great.
Great.
Everything's great.
27. 27 for Skid.
27 also
We'll save
Everyone
Ridiculous
Ridiculous
Yep
Yep
Well
I don't know
I'm not doing this
27 for Aldo, 27.
For Eris, would you get Atticus?
God damn it.
I got a 20.
25.
25 for Atticus.
Suki?
I rolled well.
I got a 30.
30 for Suki.
And Erathel?
20. 30, 20. Erathel. 20.
30, 20.
30, 5.
20.
What did you say you got, Suki?
30.
30, okay.
Aldo, Eris, and Suki all succeeded.
You are frightened one.
Ethel and Atticus failed.
Did not critically fail.
You are frightened, too.
Ooh.
From its frightful presence.
Good news is you're all...
Yeah, well, I won't tell you the good news
because it's not that great. But remember,
frightened goes down at the end, every round.
So.
Oh, man.
Frightful presence.
A little frightful presence.
Okay, now we will finish out the round with Eris.
Eris, you've watched your buddies go after this thing,
and they don't seem to be doing damage.
Now you know that Ethel bravely just ran right in,
has not taken a strike yet.
You hope that Ethel can lay down some metal.
But in the meantime, your buddies are struggling, and Aldo is still trapped.
All right.
Here's what I would like to do.
I want to use two actions to move so I can move 50 feet,
hopefully up to, like, this area. Well, not hopefully. I know I can move up to like this area.
Well,
not hopefully I know I can move up to that area,
but I was hoping again,
like hugging the wall.
Yeah.
And I was hoping to like position myself to where like,
whatever this thing is right here,
jutting from the wall,
whatever torture devices somehow have like cover from it.
Um,
so I make it all the way up there and I wanted to get within
30 feet of this creature so that I
could cast Needle of Vengeance
on it. And as I
cast, I reach out my chicken hand.
Here we go. Reach out my chicken hand
and I'm like,
do you leave Ethel alone?
So anytime, well
actually, we'll save to see
if what happens.
Okay.
I'll allow it.
Just look at something here.
Enchantment hex, mental witch.
Okay.
Will save.
My umbral dragon is going to be a gentleman's 37.
I mean, it's just so comical.
It's just...
Dragonfights should feel like Dragonfights.
Yeah.
This one definitely does, and will,
since we'll be doing it for the next four weeks.
That's true.
That is 100% true.
Buckle in, viewers.
Buckle in, viewers.
It just says basic well-saved. It doesn't have listed on it, like, if it Buckle in, viewers. It just says basic will save.
It doesn't have listed on it, like, if it's a critical or whatever.
I'm just assuming if you get the will save, nothing happens.
If it's a critical.
No, if it's basic, that means no effect.
No effect if I crit, which it sounds like a different.
And that's a crit.
So I get the feeling.
Oh, yeah.
So I get the feeling that that didn't do anything.
Yeah, no.
But you have a little bit of cover
near that tiny spiked chair.
Cool.
Wow, that was really demeaning.
A little mean.
Yeah, it was condescending, is what it was.
Didn't care for that.
All right, top of round two.
The first thing that happens is
the table next to Ethel goes to strike out at him.
I mean, so it's the shadow dragon
and ten tables is what we have to fight.
That's what you're telling, eight tables. That's what you're telling me. Eight tables.
That's what you're telling me.
I'm assuming a 36 hits.
Not a crit.
Oh my god, almost. Yeah, it is a crit
because of my lowered AC.
No! Yeah, because I'm frightened too.
Oh, shh.
Oh, no.
Matthew. Oh, no.
Wait. Matthew. Oh no. Wait.
Okay.
That's almost maximum damage,
which will now be doubled.
What do you mean?
Oh, you already rolled it?
Yeah.
60 points of damage.
Okay.
Oh my God.
Are you up? Just barely. Oh my god. Are you up? Just barely.
Oh my god.
And you are restrained
by this thing as well.
Just
apropos of nothing, what are the
massive damage rules
in 2e again?
If you suffer two times your
maximum hit points, you're just
dead? Is that what it is? Is there a rule? Massive damage. If you suffer two times your maximum hit points, you're just dead.
Is that what it is? Is there a rule?
There is a max.
Massive damage.
You die instantly if you ever take damage equal to or greater than double your maximum hit points in one blow.
In one blow.
I didn't realize that.
In one blow.
Not likely to happen tonight.
Yeah.
So Atticus, you said earlier you have 78
hit points yeah if you ever took a
hundred and fifty six damage in one blow
regard you don't go to a dying tree
you're dead it's mostly from falling I
think it's like the biggest danger is
like really high falls but high falls and
low levels you know because falling max
is out at a certain point. But yeah.
Okay.
So this is, this is, this is quite bad.
Oh, it's terrible.
Ethel was probably the only person that could hit this thing.
But, you know, in my experience, like dragons are, they're never easy.
They should feel, they're, they're horrible.
And that's the way they should feel.
But this is real, real tricky. It is Ethel's turn.
Okay, because of the restraining condition, I can't take any actions with the attack property.
So I'm going to attempt to escape. Was it athletics?
Wait, then how did Suki get her?
She escaped.
No, she didn't. What are you talking about? Grabbed?
I fired first, yeah.
You're looking at grabbed
I'm looking at restrained
You said I was restrained
I'm sorry
It's the grabbed condition
Not restrained
Oh it's the grabbed condition
Yeah I was using the word
Restrained
And I shouldn't
Because that's an actual condition
It's grabbed
Yeah restrained is
Incredibly bad
And it's bearish
Yeah you're
You're immobilized
You can't move
You can't take anything
Except
You can't do anything
Except try to escape
I should have said
You're hugged
You're hugged hard
Hugged hard is not a condition
Hard hug Oh the table's friendly Alright hard. Hugged hard is not a convention. Hard hug.
Oh, the table's friendly.
All right.
Just get over here, you son of a gun.
The table gives you a 60-point noogie.
I'm going to record your screams.
Come on.
Record your screams.
Ethel is very close to death.
Very close to death.
Yeah.
I want to call you Deathel.
You could call me me devil in a little
bit um can i can i just explain something we're in the dream lives right you die you don't really
die or do you after talking to looney tune mcgee downstairs and hearing that alaric uh suki's
whatever it's something going on here you die here oh sure maybe you could maybe you come back how the hell do you
get back to the moon yeah i mean this is what i've been thinking this is very meta and it's a very
uh terrible thing to say and i shouldn't say it but i'm going to say it because i don't give a
shit because i would say it if we were playing at home which is it doesn't make any sense like
the situation that we're in something is going to have to happen outside of anything
that any, the way it's happened before.
Because if we TPK in here, and we wake up, the story cannot advance.
So, like, they have to have something else planned for us.
There has to be some other contingency in place.
And we're like, okay, walk walk down the staircase back into the moon
prison i mean maybe that is it and that's not that out of that landish but um i feel like
something else is going to happen if we die here that's my sort of meta guess yeah because it seems
like this seems at least a strong possibility at this point. Exactly. And this doesn't feel like
trying to get an artifact, right?
We need the only
entity that knows where to go
next.
It appears there's no other
exit or entrance into this room
from what I'm looking at, right?
I can't tell from this map and Troy's Fog of War.
It is impossible to discern.
There is.
Troy said there's doors.
There's double doors.
There are doors.
I will ping them.
Oh, is this a door?
That is a door.
Yeah, the doors are not super clear, and I believe this is a door here.
Oh, really?
Behind Suki?
Yeah, I'll look while Matthew's thinking.
I know the one down here in the alcove is.
In fact, I think this is one here as well.
I'm not sure.
I'll tell you this.
It's a little like Nero works.
I have to go back to the original maps because I can't tell.
I don't need to think.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm buying myself time.
First action.
Okay.
Healing gloves.
Oh. Okay. I have. Okay. Healing gloves. Oh.
Okay. Activate the healing gloves.
Does that require
a manipulate action?
Let's look.
You're just wearing them and you just activate them?
It doesn't require manipulate?
An interact action. Okay.
It doesn't say
you have to roll a flat check for interact. It just says
manipulate. Manipulate. Manip it's like fumbling for your keys yeah
uh i rolled it i rolled it on 2d6 i rolled a six and a one um however that is something
okay uh second healer's gloves let's go heal gloves, yeah. Those are my white gloves that I wear. That's fine.
Second action, I'm going to break free.
Athletics check?
Yes, if that's better than your acrobatics or your BAB.
It is better than my acrobatics.
Does that have the attack trait?
Does that suffer from the map penalty?
Matthew, you can try to attack again.
I mean, you can try to break free again again No, I don't need to do it again
I rolled a natural 20, but I was debating
whether or not to attack with the scimitar or escape
first
No, you can't say stuff like that
You could have
vorpled it
Oh my god
This is the second time
I assume I break free with a natural 20
You do.
You do.
Do it again.
Do it again.
Wow.
Oh, man.
God, that would have been so cool.
Oh, no, Matthew.
I'm sorry.
That is so painful.
Why would you say that?
It's painful looking at your face.
Your face looks like it's in so much physical agony.
In my brain, I was like, I could just attack first
and then escape. What's the difference?
It's like fighting a Dark Souls boss
90 times and getting it down
to one hit away and then just
like shitting your pants and losing.
Okay.
It's just so crushing.
The calculus is changing for me
just because I feel so terrible.
All right.
But you know what?
I got to stick to my original plan.
My original plan was to take one swing
with the scimitar for my third action
while the rest of you try to get me out of this.
And I'm going to hope for that natural 20.
Well, good luck.
I mean, so...
I'm not following. You have escaped.
I've escaped. I've used Chirac.
Right.
So why don't you get out of there?
It's going to have an attack of opportunity
and it's going to hit me and then...
What's the point?
Whereas if I can get this natural 20 and I have a hero point,
I could feasibly
kill this thing.
Yeah, okay.
Of course, the thing has to fail a fortitude save,
which is unlikely, but let's just not go there right now.
So to be clear here, your plan is to attack it,
and maybe if you don't even hit,
to hero point again just to see if you get that natural 20?
Yes.
Okay.
And an update on the doors.
I was correct.
There are three doors here to the north,
in the alcove, and then behind Suki.
This is driving me insane right now.
Okay.
All right.
I'm rolling my brand new Norse foundry.
Look at that.
Cat's eye.
Purple cat's eye.
Changes in the light.
Oh.
I'm using my hero point.
So is it 90-19?
I mean, it's so funny to use the hero point
going for a natural 20.
And if you get this...
You are such a goddamn hero!
Oh yeah.
What happened?
Natural 14.
Oh!
All right, so I am hoping that still hits.
It's a 31 to hit.
31 to hit with a natural 14 is a hit.
Okay.
Okay, at least.
Okay.
All right. All right, 11 points of damage. Okay. Okay, at least. Okay. All right.
All right.
11 points of damage.
Okay.
And that is Ethel's turn.
All right.
One more thing happens.
I'm a little less frightened.
A little less frightened.
All right.
Amazing.
Now it is Suki's turn.
Okay.
Oh, wait.
Can I talk to
Sorry I apologize
Go ahead talk to it
What's the guy's name who we're looking for
All I can think of now is
Arknar
I had a chance are you Arknar
No
Like dragon voice
Okay cool
She said her name was Orcefellius I didn't believe her like dragon voice. Okay, cool.
She said her name was Orsephelius.
That might be her name.
I didn't believe her.
Janus.
Suki's wondering from Skids what Skid were,
what Aldo yelled out about it.
Is this target a fiend?
Would they be considered a fiend?
You don't think so.
And Skid, you rolled high and I gave you a lot of information, but it makes up for all the years that I didn't give you any information. Would they be considered a fiend? You don't think so. And you're skidding real tight.
I give you a lot of information,
but it makes up for all the years
that I didn't give you any information.
Not a fiend.
It is a shadow dragon.
Damn.
Well, all right.
It's a shadow dragon.
It's a shadow dragon.
Suki is still going to cast a searing light.
Yeah.
Shadow dragon.
What better to pierce shadow than light itself?
She is so mad.
And she just screams at it.
You don't know what you're talking about!
And she shoots the Searing Light at it.
Excellent.
What kind of save am I making here?
I'm attacking you.
Okay. What kind of save am I making here I'm attacking you
Okay
That's a 31
To hit
That is a hit
Did you also just roll a 31
We're rolling the same
We both rolled that natural 3
So weird
I believe you
And that's 5d6
No save right I'm thinking of weird. Alright. Twinsies. I believe you. Twinsies. And that's 5d6.
No save, right? I'm thinking of I think 1e was like, I guess
it was an attack.
17 points of
fire damage.
Oh wait, plus. What's my plus?
Nothing. 17 points of fire damage.
17 points of
fire damage. That's it, right?
They're not weak to fire, right?
Searing Light does have a save, right?
Yes.
Yes.
What?
Yes.
Yes, you shoot a blazing ray of light
tinged with holy energy.
Make a ranged spell attack.
It does 5d6 fire damage.
If the target is a fiend, you deal an extra 5d6.
Critical success and success.
Oh, sorry, it's not a save.
That's your attack.
Oh, if you had attacked with a critical,
it takes full double fire damage plus double good.
That's cool.
Okay.
You're good, Suki.
Sorry.
So 17 total?
Yeah.
Okay.
And you don't have this heightened?
I, oh, wait. What did you prep it as? No, I don't have this heightened? I... Oh, wait.
What did you prep it as?
No, I don't.
You gotta heighten this.
I can't.
Like, next time.
Oh, I could, but...
You can cast it as a level 5 spell now.
I mean, it would be 96.
I can't, because I used my level 5 spell to get you guys through the wall.
No, no, I'm saying, for future reference.
Yeah.
This is a good spell to prep as level five.
That's true.
Maybe I should just keep it slotted as five.
That is a juicy bit of damage.
Sick burn there, though.
You rolled well and you got him.
I'm going to bust through the doors backward.
You're going through the doors backward?
Uh-huh.
While in the middle of a fight with a shadow dragon.
Also...
Maybe you want us to beat a fast retreat?
Great. We'll see you next week.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh man, what is in that room?
You know you can't just say things
for fun, right? Like, you can't just say
whatever you feel like.
What's the point of role-playing, then?
Words have consequences.
Words have consequences.
Words mean things.
Oh, man.
Searing light. See ya.
See ya.
Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more See ya.