The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 76 – Rumble with the Umbral

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

The battle with the umbral dragon reaches its climax!  Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/KCj6WpjyifE For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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What's it taste like? It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Good evening and welcome to the show.

Want to hear one of my favorite sounds in the world? Oh! That's a good one. Yeah. LaCroix. Yeah. LaCroix! A little seltzer water.

Pomp-a-moose! This is actually a hard seltzer water. Pomplamoose. This is actually a hard seltzer. Did you say Pomplamoose? Yeah, I did. Nailed it. This is a grapefruit hard seltzer from Carvac Brewing Company in Texas, Dallas. I think I was out of Dallas. And it's called Ranch Water.

Oh, I've heard of that Rainwater? Is it good? Let me see the sip reaction Okay, hold on, you guys see this live Whoa Is that loud? Oh, that's nice It kind of tastes like LaCroix, but It's got stuff in it that makes you feel happy

Does it make you feel happy, Troy? Does anything make you feel happy these days? Momentarily. I'm very tired. This is late. What people don't realize is, oh, you're watching this 8 o'clock Eastern, maybe 5 o'clock on the West Coast. It's quarter past 10 here when we're recording this. And this is, for some of us, the seventh hour of recording today.

This is the end of a very long day a bit of a marathon a bit of a long week uh as well um which is fine i mean we play games it's not a big deal but uh get ready for some loopy uh humor how's everybody doing uh let's check in with does my voice sound really cool right now? Yeah I'm like hearing it in my cans I don't want to be that guy But I kind of feel like I should have my own radio show You are that guy I've got good news, Troy No, but like on Sirius

I should be like And coming up next, here's Thriller By a pedophile Oh dear Now I don't think you should have your own show. Thriller. By a pedophile. Oh, dear. Well, sometimes your mic does that. Now I don't think you should have your own radio. That's the one that you already do.

One of the greatest pop stars of all time, who also diddled kids. Here's Billie Jean. I think that... We should have more honest disc jockeys. That's what we should have. That's what this country needs. Anyways, I just, I could hear it in the cans. Matthew, how are you doing?

I'm okay. How are you? I'm good. I'm feeling good. I, yeah, I feel good. I'm wearing a sweater and it's not sweater weather, but I'm clinging onto it. You know, spring's uh, spring's here. Summer's coming.

Not my favorite, but I'll be damned if I'm going to stop wearing a sweater. And I'm wearing a very light, uh, banana Republic sweater that, uh, six months ago, frankly, I couldn't fit into. And now it's, uh, it's quite comfortable. You filled out a little bit in the past six months. No, I went the other way. That's impressive with a new baby. Yeah, it's good.

Yeah. Good job, Troy. Listen, I'm not here to brag. Well, no, because I saw, well, I saw your Instagram story, your Marky Mark-esque waking up at 4 a.m. to go to the gym. Inspired to be better. Uh-huh. I saw that and I was like, that's very Boston of him. Yeah. Hey, listen, you know my motto in life. If Marky Mark can do it, so can I.

I've lived by that ever since I was a teenager. Good motto. Kate, how are you doing? Oh, I'm great. I'm in a tank top because i'll be damned if i gotta wear sleeves because sleeves are annoying generally did you make also i've also been working out a lot you have i'm doing a lot of burpees and like punching a lot. Yeah, punching burpees. So watch out. What are you punching? Are you punching heavy

bags? Yeah, yeah. I found a kickboxing place around here. It's mostly just like working out really hard. Less like Muay Thai, Jiu Jitsu learning stuff. But that's all I want, I think, I guess. I just want to kick a bag until I want to barf. And then do that every day.

That sounds fun. Now, I'm glad we're taking you on the road now, because we've always wanted to have the bouncer backstage. I got you. I can choke people. I can punch them. Keep the riff-raff out. Just take them to the gun show. I can use my words and make them feel

really bad. What tat did you have on that bicep that you showed us? Is that a flower or a dragon or a skull? It's like a day of the dead skull. It's like what it was like my third tattoo. Um, it's pretty cool. And then tweak my cat,

my beautiful, perfect cat. It's a newer one. I feel like tweak has been a guest on this show several times. She has, she's my little I'm usually wearing black but you can usually still see her She's my little void creature Void creature

She's old now So when she meows she just goes Instead of actually meowing She's an umbral cat Yeah I should have her on radio show The Day of the Dead I should have her on radio show. The Day of the Dead features prominently in the Disney, I believe Pixar classic Coco.

Are you guys familiar with Coco? Yeah, of course. It's a great, great, really a great fucking story and movie and good music. movie and good music. However, I have trouble explaining the plot to my children because it's like, well, he thought it was his grandfather, but he ended up actually murdering his actual grandfather. He poisoned him. Like, it's really, it's not for kids. It's not a kid's movie, but it's marketed to children. It's got a lot of fun songs and colors, but the whole premise of the movie deals with a murder of the main character's great-grandfather. Anybody else follow me on this? It's very inappropriate.

He was watching it tonight, and I was like, well, he's not a good guy. It doesn't matter. People overthink this stuff all the time. Kids don't really know. Kids don't. Their mind doesn't operate the way yours operates. There's a murder in Lion King. The kids that do the fun

melodies and colors, they're not really following along with that stuff. And the kids that are old enough to kind of get it, I'm fine with that. I'm fine with murder stories for an eight or nine year old. They need to know. And two, life's hard. Some folks in the niche

have told me that they watch our shows with their kids. Oh, really? Yes, and the kids love it. The kids love, they monitor the episodes and they're like, they pre-listen. I don't think they show them every episode. I don't know about that. Sydney, I have heard you. I mean, I am the most guilty on the call, but I have heard you, who everyone should trust,

dropping some hard F-bombs. Like, hard. Not even, like, cursing, but at the Boulder show, we talked about magical dildos. A lot. A lot. Well, yeah, but that's the kind of thing that doesn't matter with kids, because it's not a curse word, and they have no idea what you're talking about. So, it's fine. And I'm saying, we murder on the show all the time. And the kids...

Friday Night Johnson. I believe it said Friday Night Johnson on it. That's a clue that has yet to been solved. So I just want to throw that out there. I think it's good. Yeah, let your kids listen. You think murder is just like, ah. It's one thing if Darth Vader is just like,

chokes a guy out. I guess that's pretty bad too, right? Yes. It's the same thing. He poisons him. He actually kills him. Matthew, I know you have a strong feeling about this and I want to hear.

I just think it's just really revealing that you have a lot of anxiety about your kids watching a patricide happen on screen. Well, it's not a little insecure there. If it happens in the grandfather line. Are you worried they'll get some ideas? Is it still considered a patricide? Because it's a great grandfather we're talking about. It's a a little insecure there. It happens in the grandfather line. Are you worried they'll get some ideas? Is it still considered a patricide? Because it's a great grandfather we're talking about.

It's a great patricide. Well, you don't want their kids killing you either. It's a great patricide. Good Friday, the best. Skid, how are you doing? Great. How are the Mets doing? Mets are pretty terrible the last couple weeks, but hoping things turn around.

I, like you, am looking forward to watching some basketball after this. After this recording, yeah. I have this card here that is featuring Mets superstar Pete Alonso. I got in a pack of tops, and it says, pick a game for a shot to win. And so I had to rip a thing off the back and then guess a game that Pete Alonzo would hit a home run. And so now we've pre-recorded this, but I picked tomorrow night because he hasn't hit a home run in like seven games. And he normally hits a lot of home runs. And if I win, I win $10 million.

Is that true? Really? I don't know what the prize is. That's a lie. Also, this doesn't make any sense. What do you mean, pick it? What do you mean? You go in and you tell him, like, hey, I picked it.

No, I had to enter the code, and then I had to say, tomorrow night, he's going to hit a home run. I thought it was just, like, your word. Yeah, no. I swear. I swear. I swear. You know that one he hit yesterday? I picked that. That was the one I guessed.

You'll never believe this. I don't have a truck big enough for all the money, but I can come back. The grand prize is a trip to the 2024 next year's Home Run Derby. So I imagine just hitting it, maybe you just get another one of these cards. I don't know. It's probably not that great. Where's the Home Run Derby next year?

I know. Where is it? I don't know if I want to travel to. What if it's in Vegas? In Vegas. Exactly. I picked the one place he would go. I don't even know what the question was. I just heard Vegas.

2024. It's Texas, Globe Life Field, Texas. Oh, is that the new Rangers field? Yeah. It's supposed to be nice. It's supposed to be nice. Oh, they have a new – oh, I didn't know they had a new – Yeah. I mean, that whole parking lot with the Jerry World and the old Rangers, they just keep building stadiums there. Anyways, I don't want to bore you guys with talk of pedophiles and stadiums. Let's have some fun. I'm trying to look it up.

It does not appear that there is a Latin term for the killing of one's grandfather. However, there are a lot of Latin terms for the killing of one's family. My favorite so far is avunculicide. Whoa. Avunculicide? The killing of your uncle.

Oh. I was like, avuncle sounds like uncle. Avunculicide. Avuncular side the killing of your uncle oh I was like avuncular sounds like uncle avuncular side it's like avuncular I mean like before you move on sounds like avunculus I have to ask even though this isn't

really pertinent to anything is there anyone here that hasn't seen The Godfather yeah of course why would we think that Kate has

sometimes you mean you haven't seen no is there anyone here that haven't seen... No. Is there anyone here that hasn't seen it more than 100 times? Yes. Okay. I've seen The Godfather maybe twice.

Same. How did you avoid it, your life of watching television? Because my dad... You will watch all this stuff because of your dads. My dad was like, nah, it's Italian stuff. My dad was a Rocky watcher. I've seen all the Rockies against my will over and over and over again. That was the same thing with James Bond.

My dad was descended from people that hated English people. So, like, that whole culture, they just despised. And now my dad, it's so funny, as he's like, you know, in his mid-70s he's just like yeah i kind of enjoy the crown loud enough in case his uh dead ancestors can uh yeah the ancestors can

hear him right big joe did you just watch the crying game and Game and Michael Collins your entire life? I watched a lot of Michael Collins, yeah. And Braveheart. Braveheart was a big one because it's not Irish, but it's very anti-English. What's the Pierce Brosnan movie that he made where he's a dad who loses custody? Yes, GoldenEye. Over the top. Wait, was your dad...

You said loses custody. That's a golden eye. Over the top. Is your, wait, was your dad, was your dad particularly tickled that James Bond was played by an Irishman for many years? Like did that give him a little bit of joy? No, I don't think my dad has anything against James Bond. I just, he just never watched it. He's never,

I don't know. So yeah, Godfather, James Bond. These are movies I never watched. There's a Pierce Brosnan movie where he's like, he's, it's an Irish movie.

He's a dad. He loses custody of his kids. He's fighting to get them back. And it's very Irish. I can't remember what it's called. Our producer, CJ, has chatted in to tell us that the name of the movie is Evelyn. Evelyn. Thank you, CJ.

Thank you, CJ. Thanks, CJ. Well, the only reason I bring up The Godfather is I feel like we should all watch it sometime and drink wine. I agree with that. That'd be fun. Can we make Clemenza's tomato sauce? Oh, man. The secret's a little bit of sugar.

It's a little long, Kate, if that bothers you. It's a little long. It doesn't feel long. What were your thoughts on the commentary on The Godfather in the the the white lotus because i know you're like a white lotus fan and it was a very like it was a very like new wave like interpretation of this male fantasy show and i imagine matthew being like he just ruined the godfather for me i'm only three episodes into the second season and they do mention it. I won't, I won't, I won't spend that one comment.

I would argue that the argument that that character makes is the argument the movie is actually making, you know, but that it has become a kind of like weird male fantasy movie instead. So I think, I think the Godfather was actually doing a lot of what that character says. Hmm. Well, uh, speaking of the greatest movies ever made,

let's talk about This Combat, which has lasted six episodes. People can't stop talking about it. I mean, really. Can't stop playing it. They call it the Godfather of Pathfinder combats. Yeah. And this is about to be, wait,

the worst one? Isn't Godfather 3 the worst one? Troy? I think it gets a bad rap. It's only because Sofia Coppola is a terrible actress. The new edit, the newest edit is very good. It's a much improved movie. Better than 1 or 2? No, no, no.

Still the worst movie. And true aficionados don't even call it the Godfather 1 or 2. They just say, you want to watch 1? And everybody knows what you mean. Kate seems so excited. Kate, I think you'd really like it. It's a phenomenal... She won't like it.

She will not like it. We shouldn't punish Kate by making her watch a 3-hour Italian movie. About every movie I should have watched and I'm not going to watch. Let me ask you this question, Kate. If you were locked into hanging out with us, like let's say we're in an airport somewhere or we're all on a delayed flight or something. Let's say we all got diverted to Harrisburg. We all got diverted to Harrisburg.

There's nothing else to do. For an example. And you're going to be with us for like four hours regardless would you rather watch a movie with us or listen to these nerds talk about sports i mean but if you're talking about sports i can tune you out and then like do my own thing yeah yeah so i'm watching a movie it's like we gotta watch it together and then we're gonna talk about it afterwards and it's like oh god do you see the eye roll on talk about it just even talking to people okay it's

like after i watch a movie i like need to be alone and not like decompress from all the turmoil i just went through sitting there through a movie i Kate, I love how strong you are about this opinion that is so hated. I love that you stand your ground no matter what people say. It's honestly so wonderful. I like it a lot. I'm like, yeah, fuck movies. I love movies, but I'm tempted to be like, yeah, I'm on your side. Yeah.

I'll never watch The Godfather. I might never. Yeah. You're a real Rosa Parks. Jesus Christ. You're a real Jesus Christ. My God. You're a real Jesus Parks.

Jesus never watched a movie either. That's true. That's so true. There's nothing more Christ-like than not watching a movie. Hey, is that the Messiah over there? You said I was like Jesus, not me. That's what you say. You say that I am.

You're such a martyr, Kate. Oh, my God. Can't help it. All right. Troy, I have to get something off my chest. You got more? I'm next. I haven't been called on once, and I have to get something off my chest You got more? I'm next I haven't been called on once and I have to get something off my chest next

Oh I thought we were going into the combat Alright Joe go Mine's about the game Mine's about you Joe you got something to say about Sydney You know what this is a safe space I think you should just say what you want to say We've been recording

Sydney's been involved in this all day today. All day today. It's been a very, very long day and it's very late. But I'm a little weirded out. It's very late. Are you drinking a Bloody Mary? What is going on with you? You were drinking a High Life in the last one and then I saw you with a Bloody Mary.

You're waving this celery stick in front of us. Gaslighting me like I'm the crazy one. Biting on a celery stick. Is everything okay? I was cracking up because I went to I am drinking a Bloody Mary. I love Bloody Marys. So do I.

On a Sunday afternoon. I'll drink ten of them. To me, a Bloody Mary. So do I on a Sunday afternoon. I'll drink 10 of them. To me, a Bloody Mary is an anytime delight. You can have it in the morning. You can have it at night. It's an anytime delight for a girl named Sydney. Okay. I was laughing.

How many did you have? I was laughing because Troy was opening the show, and I went to take a bite of the celery stick. And Joe was like, somehow I could feel him making direct eye contact with me through Skype. And I was like, ooh, shouldn't bite into the celery stick on Mike. I'll just move over here. And it just got funnier as I tried to not bite the celery stick. Yeah, my look had nothing to do with the inevitable clash of that on Mike. My look had to do with, is that a Bloody Mary?

Do you know what time it is? Cheers. Good for you. Enjoy. I guess I'm just jealous. That's all it is. I'm just jealous. I want a Bloody Mary.

I don't have much. I'm setting up like a little bar area. I'm not a huge drinker, but I do have Bloody Mary mix. Cause I like Bloody Mary's. And when I was upstairs, I just was quickly like, Oh, I want to make something to have.

Uh, and I had Bloody Mary mix. So that, that is, did you have, do you have the top notch, the Brooklyn top notch Bloody Mary mix? What's it called?

Troy? Um, the Brooklyn pickle factory. What's it called? Uh, McClure's. McClure's. Yeah.

McClure's. No, but I'll definitely get that next time. That sounds great. So good. ZigzagClure's. Yeah, McClure's is really good. No, but I'll definitely get that next time. That sounds good. It's so good. Zigzag is also good. Yeah, it does make you sweat.

I might have Zigzag. Yeah, Zigzag is fun. Zigzag is more like, Zigzag's everywhere. Yeah. It's good though. McClure's is really good. McClure's is...

For guys who are making fun of drinking Bloody Marys, you sure like to talk about how to make a good Bloody Mary. Well, listen, if I'm not on a plane, I'm not drinking one at 10, 15 p.m. You ever drank a Bloody Mary. Well, listen, if I'm not on a plane, I'm not drinking one at 10.15pm.

You ever drink a Bloody Mary at 10.15pm? Jesus. That's true. It's not very godly of you. Not very godly. Sorry. Can I talk about the game? Yeah, please.

I realized something as we opened the show. We ended kind of on my turn but i realized i made an error in my math calculation and i wonder if i can retcon it because i was off as we remember in the last episode i was off by one point i did as we went off the air i said that it was dc 30 and you had said you rolled a 29. I realized. And now, conveniently, seven days later, your math has changed. No, no, no.

I realized, listening back, Eris gave us all infectious enthusiasm. Right. Point. And she literally just happened in turn order, and i was so caught up and not being able to move past the dragon and i was looking at the rules for tumble through i had completely forgotten about the additional one point so that is a real shame that you forgot about that my hand is not off the she hasn't done anything since we ended right after i said what was going on and then you ended the show so technically technically, I haven't taken any other actions.

I haven't done anything else. Right. That is, that is, it's not false. It's amazing. If memory serves, the whole Cliffy last week was, Suki made the Cliffy again! And for the second week in a row, the cliffy is in question of its legitimacy. And Troy is going to have to make a ruling that undoes the end of the last episode. Two weeks in a row.

Lift in the veil. We have not recorded cannon fodder for last week's episode yet. So now we're going to look like dum-dums when we don't even talk about this. It's not our first time, really. Matthew. Well, it's your ruling. I just wanted to bring it up because I also didn't want to look like a dum-dum

for the listeners who were like, Eris just gave you a point. You literally just gave it to him. I know. There's a lot of math going on here. I'm a dum-dum. I am a dum-dum. And that's what I have going on.

You know who else you have to blame? Kate and Matthew and Skid and I. I'm unconscious. I don't remember either. Everybody needs to remember. I should have. If anyone should have remembered, it should have been me. That's a team fail.

That's a team fail. I take a shoulder at this time around. But I wanted to bring it up in case you were feeling generous, Troy. You seem happy. It's tricky. You look good. You look good, right? Is that a hit or miss? This is not the time nor place, but I wanted to bring it up in case you were feeling generous, Troy. You seem happy. It's tricky. You look good. Is that a hit or miss? This is not the time nor place, but I appreciate it.

There's a number of different ways to do it. She gives you this thing. You could go on your cheat and add that. What a pain in the ass, though, for something that lasts like a round. I played in a couple games at PaizoCon 100 years ago where the GM would like – not even the GM. The players would be like, I buff you and would like hand you a card. And so you'd remember like, oh, I got a plus one.

I got a card. That'd be great. I think people like do that, which just seems cool. We should do that when we play in person. Yeah. We could. That is actually a really good idea. It's fun.

I've seen like bards that like make cards with their bard shit on it and be like, you get this shit. That's fun. Maybe that's fun. Not for me, but for other people, that could be fun. In this case, you just plumb forgot because there's a lot of math flowing around. I'm going to allow it, but not because you remembered, but because Eris, Eris are in this. She used an action. She gave you a little juice and I think you should use it. And the fact you're only off by one makes all the difference.

Eris used two actions. Two actions. It's a big deal. Two actions. So, sorry, folks, you're not going to get the attack of opportunity. Instead, you're going to get a tumble through. So you can get to the spot that you wanted to get to. Do you have any actions left? No.

And that was the whole thing. I didn't have any other actions. So it really felt like a waste of everything turning into an elemental and using my move action. So that's it. That's my turn. All right. So you did say that you made this whole flourish about fire and stuff. Are you a fire golem?

I'm a fire elemental. I used elemental form fifth level. Okay. Is that a medium-sized fire elemental? Yes, sir. All right. Let me just get you out of there. You know, it's funny.

I mean, I hate to... Go ahead, Joe. How did you move all the way up there? That was all part of her movement. You know, it's funny. I mean, I hate to... Go ahead, Joe. How did you move all the way up there? That was all part of her movement. I have 50 feet of movement as a fire elemental. Oh, that was one move action. Awesome.

Well, this is also difficult terrain, what you tumble through. So you might be back five feet, maybe closer. Let me double check. Good call. Suki Oriana Isolde? Suki Oriana Isolde? Suki Oriana Isolde. Nice. All right.

Let's, you know what? Let's just finish this thing off. Seems like it's right at the end. We've got it on the ropes. Good thing it's Atticus's turn. I'm surprised it hasn't fleed. Atticus, it's your turn. Finish it off with your blaster spells.

First of all, I don't like your tone. I'm the only one in this party with blaster spells. It's not saying much. It is not. Atticus is going to move 30 feet into an area where he can see the creature.

Then... Don't forget the darkness. He's got dark vision. So the creature. Then... Don't forget the darkness. He's got dark vision. So the creature is concealed too. Concealed, yeah. It's not going to matter on this one because Atticus is going to fire off a lightning bolt.

Nice! At the creature. It's probably not going to do literally anything, but we gotta try. So it is a reflex save. Reflex save. Let me just look at my immunities. Come on, Natty One. 35.

For realsies? Yeah. Are you joking? No. I would never lie about my dragon's reflexes, and you know that. Never lies about his dragon reflexes. Okay. Was that a critical success or dragon reflexes uh okay was that a critical success it was a really good roll yeah it was a really good roll i felt like it was good

when it came out uh i did as bad as well as i could on that that is 13 points of damage nice okay and the the reason you don't need to roll against concealment even though it's a targeted spell is that it's a straight line, so it's not like it misses. Right, it's just you get a reflex save. And I can see you. All I have to do is be able to see you. Concealment would factor in if I was rolling a two-hit roll. At the end of the day, though, you could easily metagame and be like, it's a straight line spell, let's see what happens.

In which case, it's... But you can't... Like, if you were hidden from me uh you can't I don't know well yeah I guess you could with the straight line spell maybe you could debate it

but like yeah I don't know usually you can't because you have to have line of sight which means you have to see it you have to have a target

right right right yeah and uh it is technically concealed to you because of your dark vision uh

I just like hearing the sound of my own voice right now it is Ethel's turn Ethel I'm gonna need uh well actually no dark vision. I just like hearing the sound of my own voice right now. It is Ethel's turn. Ethel, I'm going to need well, actually no, you're at zero. I'm at zero. I'm still unconscious. Still unconscious.

You don't gain any HP. Nope. This happened last term, but I'll bring it up. Even in my dreams, I'm a little less afraid. A little less afraid. A little less? I'm no longer frightened. One could say you're no longer frightened.

What do you do when you're unconscious? Is that effectively your turn? You're sleeping. You've been knocked out. If you're unconscious, how can you be frightened at all? I could have a nightmare. That's true. Twitching. It's but if you're twitching you're i mean it's like if you're in under anesthesia you're not dreaming you know yeah like if you're if you're unconscious you've

been knocked out how could you be frightened but it also doesn't matter mechanically it also doesn't factor in but that's what i'm that's what'm saying, is it's like a lot of these mechanics, they're gamified rather than actually representative of what reality would be. In a way, I think this is perfect. It's like you're not really frightened, but even with the frightened condition, when you're unconscious, nothing is really going to impact you for the frightened penalty. Because it doesn't affect your role to like you know recover or anything like that it's just your dcs which like you're not doing any dc stuff when you're unconscious you know so it's it's interesting but you're not

frightened anymore now right matthew like it's completely gone yeah it's completely yeah you just have the unconscious condition which includes you can't act and you take a minus four penalty to ac perception and reflex saveslex saves could come and be important if it does another Breath Weapon, for example. You would actually roll against that, even though you're unconscious, but with a minus four, which could mean

a higher chance of a critical failure. But in this case, your turn is over. And it's the dragon's turn. The umbral dragon who referred to herself as Orsifelius. He thought she was a lowly janitor. But in fact, she dragon.

Suki is a fire elemental. And Ethel is unconscious over there so I guess my only course of action is another breath weapon both of you give me a reflex save that both of you includes Ethel Merman it does and it's not your fault

it is it's Suki's fault she drew attention right to you ah ah It is. It's Suki's fault. She drew attention right to you. Ah! Ah! Yeah, that's definitely going to be a critical fail. That's going to be dying three, dude. Oh, no.

Oh, because of the wounded John. Wounded John. Suki's there to heal, too. I'm assuming. It's a natural four, So I rolled a 15 Oh boy That's a 28 Reflex right? So this is interesting right

Because I assume Suki's going over there To do some type of healing on you Which is what you need at this point Because you don't want to die But is Suki going to go down? Let's find out You rolled a 28. Okay, so that's

a failure. Wait, question. Can you use a hero point when you're unconscious? Can I, as the player, use a hero point? I don't see why not. You know that you most likely critically failed with your 4, so feel free. Alright, I'm going to use my hero point. Okay.

Minus 40 or equally. Yeah, I rolled a natural 1 on the second roll oh no oh that's the hero point that could have kept you alive oh yeah auto a lot yep i am we're having a good time um did you get refundable tickets to st paul by the way we'll worry about that later. We'll worry about that after the show. Your services will not be required. You got trip insurance, right, Matthew? You got trip insurance? You gotta get trip insurance.

I can do color commentary. Come on, we have a long history of that. Oh, dude, how great would that be? Like, show up on stage, no character, just, like, sit back with a little club soda, just make fun of everyone. That's awesome. I wouldn't make fun of everyone.

I would just enjoy the show. Yeah. And occasionally pepper make fun of everyone. I would just enjoy the show. Yeah. And occasionally pepper in fun facts about Minnesota. In the meantime, I'd like you to take 84 points of damage. Oh, no. Oh, my goodness. I'll just take myself to dying. Suki, you take 42 points of damage.

Suki, you take 42 points of damage. You're covered in this thick, shadowy awfulness. Just energy, negative energy just being drawn out of your body and empowering this umbral dragon. And unfortunately, Ethel falls all the way to dying three. Does Suki fall? No. Well, shit. Wow.

Do I stay wounded one? Even though, right? That doesn't go away, even though it's contributed to the increased dying number. Yeah, that's my understanding of it. Like, we haven't quite done this before, but I think that, well, yeah. I mean, it's just if you...

Yeah, because what happens if you recover now? Do you add the one to the three and you're wounded four? No, I don't think so. Do I have to have a die? Do I have to have a two if I recover now? You're wounded three, right? Okay, it's for every dying condition. If you gain the dying condition while wounded, increase your dying condition value by your wounded value.

The wounded condition ends if somebody successfully restores hit points to you with three wounds. Oh. Or if you... Yeah, so it doesn't go... ends if somebody successfully restores hit points to you with three wounds or if you're... If you already have the wounded condition, when you lose the dying condition, your wounded condition value increases by one. So I think it's just... Oh, you were right. You were right. So you go up to dying two.

Wounded two. Wounded two. Sorry. Yeah. If I recover. If you lose the dying condition. When you recover. Unless it's treat wounds, in which case the wounds go away. Right. All right, still has one action left. Man, that wall of flesh.

Yeah, don't forget, Eris, you're going to get to do an attack against me if I remain in that spot. All right, let's check out Horst Cephalius here. What do I have here? You just made a shit ton of people that are listening to this as a podcast think that their app just went long. That just, like, fast-forwarded your turn. Did I accidentally hit four times speed? I'm just going to attack Suki with my tail, which has a 15-foot reach. Oh, my God.

I'm just going to attack Suki with my tail, which has a 15-foot reach. Oh, my God. Oh, God. That would be my full base attack bone. 32 to hit. Yeah. Well, I'm curious why you didn't get that attack anyway after she tumbled through. You don't get to provoke the entire time?

I think tumble through. If you succeed on the tumble through, you succeed on the tumble through. End of story. I don't get the impression that it's like you have to tumble through each square. That just seems overly pedantic. All right, I'm rolling a couple D12 in case you're interested. If anyone's following along at home,

that is going to be not bad, could be worse, still not great. 25 points of slashing damage as the tail just boom! It's a sharp tail, a sharp shadowy tail. Yeah, take that damage.

She takes a sharp shock. Like a sharp shock. Champ. And it's Aldo's turn. Aldo has been struggling, trapped by this magical torture device. No one coming to his aid. Atticus tried and failed.

There is no help. Yeah, again, I have no options. Can you get rid of the wall? Eris, is that even possible? There's nothing in the spell that's like this is how you make go away it just says that it

lasts for 10 minutes unless it's destroyed you can also use your attack on me by the way we forgot to do that so my wall attack now that you mention it now that I bring it up that will be a

30 to hit. That is a hit. Six. Nice. Nice. Okay, and that was... Six points of damage, I believe. Oh, no, you roll plus four.

I have to roll it plus my modifier. Two again, so six total. That was right. Okay, the meat wall is there. While Joe looks up if the meat wall can be dispelled It is Aldo's turn, very tricky Okay, yeah

I feel like we want to wait to figure this out before Aldo Passes his turn Aldo's like, get me out of this thing Get rid of that bloody meat wall I just, I thought I was helping No, no, it's fine I mean, you I don't know how to get rid of it, I'm sorry No,. No, no, it's fine. I mean, you did what you loved best.

I don't know how to get rid of it. I'm sorry. No, there's no blind being thrown. It's just really, well. Well, what's the point in arguing? All right, first attempt is a natural one. Oh, boy. Second attempt is a fail.

Third attempt is a fail. Okay, so you're just, Oh, boy. Second attempt is a fail. Third attempt is a fail. Okay. So you're just trying to pull your way out of the restraints. You don't have to spell magic, do you, Aldo? I don't have any spells. You don't have any spells. Okay. Yeah, I'm just holding this glow stick, waiting for the rave to start.

All right. I mean, thank goodness you're providing some light here as Pepsi cowers on the stairs. All right. It now goes to Eris. Joe, have you learned anything about dispelling meat walls or dispelling spells? No. You know what's wild? Apparently we're the first Pathfinder 2 e-game to ever want to dismiss a spell.

There's an action. Page 305 of the core rulebook. Yeah, but it says it in the spell if you can dismiss it. And I don't see, I've never seen a spell say you can dismiss it. So I'm curious if I'm missing it. I just came upon a Reddit post that was like, explain dispel magic to a child. Pathfinder 2 e Reddit explain to spell magic to a child oh I love this game

yeah like the first one that I thought was like promising on Reddit just like as soon as I click on it it's like well if I'm sustaining a spell can I just stop sustaining it like that's not what I need yeah it's i'm not sustaining it it just says duration 10 minutes and yeah i don't need to sustain it which i thought was really cool but then as soon as i erected it i was like what if i want to take it down

spells can be dismissed i mean it's amazing to me that this isn't immediately answered on multiple forms of people just like yeah this is this is where it says in a spell you can dismiss it or not just don't get how people, a million people haven't asked this question. This seems like the kind of thing that would happen all the time. It's like, oh, in this battlefield I would like a wall made of meat there.

Now it's no longer useful. I would like to remove it, please. That's never happened. The only thing I can think is that if it's a spell that requires concentration, that spell can be dismissed. But, like, just put that in the King's English. A spell that requires concentration, you wouldn't need a dismiss action.

You just stop concentrating. Just stop doing it, yeah. Get distracted. As defined by the spell. The dismiss action has the concentrate trait, which is weird. I was looking back through Pathfinder 1-e walls to see if that could give us any context and it doesn't just depends on what the wall is if it's dismissible or not

wall of force you can dismiss wall of stone you can't you know so which suggests to me like that if it's like a physical wall of meat it's not dismissible it's a forever wall forever wall. Forever wall!

Not forever, eventually, well, ten minutes. Ten minute wall. Or the meat just starts to rot. Or the dragon's gotta squeeze through it. Or the dragon cooks us all a nice turkey dinner. Yeah, what kind of meat is it? Yeah, what kind of meat? Yeah, good question. It's a wall of flesh.

It's not a meat wall. It's a flesh wall. So it's skin meat. It's skin meat. Yeah. It's your classic skin meat. It's not healthy at all. I like to think maybe it's like a tongue wall because it's a mouth.

So like a lingua wall. Anyway. Gross. Gross. I can't just miss it. And every five feet of it has 75 hit points. Gross. Gross. I can't just miss it. And every five feet of it has 75 hit points. Yeah. So I'm not destroying it in one action.

Oh, sorry. Also, the dragon takes damage. Did we miss this? We did that. You did it. You're in Joland. You missed it. No, I hit it.

It just took six points of damage again. Oh, great. You're at the top of a Jola coaster. I just, I hit it. It just took six points of damage again. Oh, great. You're at the top of a jola coaster. I just, I wish. So, Aldo, you're holding this, like, bottle of light because I can't use any spells at it because I can't see it through that last five feet of shadow. Oh, right.

And I want to be like, walk up to you, grab it, but then I'd have to move again and then that's my turn. Right. But I don't know what else to do because then if I don't do that next round, I won't be able to do anything again.

So maybe that's what I do. I walk to him like, Aldo, I see you're having trouble and I'll help you in a sec, but can you please hand me that bottle of light that you have? Right, but be very careful because it'll explode. Don't worry, my chicken fingers are very, very strong.

Okay. So she walks up to you, grabs the thing, and then walks over here. Right, Nia, I feel like I have line of sight here, and unfortunately you do too. Or actually, no, I'm going to do five feet away so that I can step in and then do something next time yeah i feel like i have line of sight here and unfortunately you do too or actually no i'm gonna do five feet away so that i can step in and then do something next time what are you gonna say don't forget about the tables the tables oh the tables will grab you i just i know you know but

we haven't played in a little while so like don't forget about the tables. And I'm walking by the tables. Well, don't stop where the table is. I think you might be fine walking by them. Maybe not. I don't know. Alright. Troy is just squinting. Just waiting. Or, oh, no. He's just Oh, no. He's short-circuiting.

He's not doing well. Like a robot. Parabasis. I have a pair of aces. Grab the light, and I want to... I got to be within 30 feet for a lot of my spells. So unfortunately, it is what it is. And I stop right here in between these two tables with the light. So now hopefully I can see it, but what does that mean for me? All right, so you went to Aldo and you got Aldo's light?

I took the bottle from him and then I walked right here in between these two tables so that hopefully I don't have light of sight to you yet. Okay. Preparing for my next turn. Let's put the old John on you and then remove it from Aldo. All right, so you've got the light and you see it counteracts most of the darkness. There's a little bit of a layer

there. I would say that it's technically concealed from you. And it does have line of sight to you, for the record. And line of effect. Where it is? Yeah. If you want to finish your turn in a different area to, like, cover that overlap. If you move up one, it would not.

Well, then I end my turn up five feet and just plan on moving into position my next turn. So now it doesn't have line of effect on you. Yeah, that meat wall. It cuts through the meat wall there. Okay, great. Wonderful. That's where you end your turn and oddly enough that table next to you

goes to strike you cool yeah that was fun dang it table don't ask about the table don't ask about the table what is her job don't get near the tables but I't ask about the table. What is her job? Don't get near the tables, but I gotta get near the tables. I love you, Skid.

How high over your AC is a 42? Holy smokes. More than 10? Yeah. That's a critical hit. The table is unnamed. However, the damage is done uh

38 points of piercing damage and you are grabbed by the table I didn't know that could happen like that this is okay alright I'm adding the grab to condition no this is great

I didn't drop your uh your bottle of light though All right, I'm adding the grab to condition. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. No, this is great. I didn't drop your bottle of light, though. Bottle of red, bottle of white. So when you're grabbed, it also automatically put flat-footed on for me, too. Yes. Okay. Yes. Yeah, it's horrible. Aldo has been this way for three episodes.

Suki, shockingly, got out of it right away and Ethel just chose to die instead. Let's let's take a quick break to think about this. A huge thank you to Jay Knight of Dauntless Snacks for sponsoring this episode of the show. Not only that, I want to thank Jay Knight for creating the greatest beef stick on the planet. Jay Knight is a longtime member of the Niche, for those of you that don't know, who was inspired by the GCN small business dream and threw caution to the wind during COVID and decided to start his own small business, a snack company that is dedicated to serving gamers, streamers, dreamers, and creators by serving 100% grass-fed, quality, non-greasy protein snacks to gamers. That's there when you need it, where you need it. Jay is one of us.

I have met him several times at Glass Cannon live shows, and I urge you to support his company if you're able in the same way that he's supporting ours, honestly. And the best part, 1% of all of his gross website sales for this entire year are going to the Colorado Children's Hospital. So visit dauntlesssnacks.com, that's D-A-U-N-T-L-E-S-S, snacks.com, to get 100% grass-fed, grease-free beef sticks delivered right to your door. There are multiple flavors. More new flavors are coming this summer, which I'm very excited about.

So once again, check it out at dauntlesssnacks.com. Keep seeking your adventure. It's the top of a new round. Let's call it round five. Could be six, could be four. I don't care. Three thirty-seven. It's Suki's turn.

Suki, you hero. You just got blasted by a breath weapon and a tail attack. But you bravely went in there because you, I would assume you feel some sort of affinity towards Ethel as a teammate, as a friend, as a potential lover. Where's your head at? No. Actually, Suki completely forgot that Ethel was in there. And she is just so mad at this dragon

woman for talking about Alaric like she did. That's what it was. That's what it was, yes. She was furious when she drew her bow and stepped out of the invisibility and she is still fucking pissed. And she wants to rip this dragon to shreds.

That's right. That's going back a couple episodes, but when Aldo was talking to her, she seemed pretty cool at first, and then she was like, oh, you should have seen the last idiot we had in here, and goes on to explain how she tortured him to death, that he was sick in your world, meaning Galarian.

So he chose to heal himself in ours, meaning the dimension of dreams. And heal he did, but he was corrupted by this place. He was an innocent, but this world is not for the innocent. He was corrupted and brought here as a punishment. She says that Yathkep, the one that you meant, would try to rehabilitate him, but that's not how Arknar works. Horrible. I have a question, though, back to the knowledge that Aldo learned because Sydney as a player forgot.

Sure. This creature is necromantic in nature. It does negative energy damage. It has been doing negative, yeah. Is it like an undead creature where positive energy would damage it, or does it not? No, now that's not to say,

no, it's not undead. Okay, so then positive energy. It's more of a shadow creature. Got it. Just checking. I was going to do something, but I'll do something different undead. Okay, so then positive energy. It's more of a shadow creature. Got it. Just checking. I was going to do something, but I'll do something different. Yeah. Okay.

So as a one-action spell, I'm going to heal Ethel. I'm going to touch him with my elemental form because I have hands. So I'm able to cast touch spells. Do you burn his flesh at all? No, I think I can control it Okay Maybe she cauterizes the wound That's fun

I am going to heighten it though So you get 2d8s Plus 8 So let me roll 13 plus 16 29 So you get 29 points.

So subtle. And that was my one action, so then second action. And that should remove wounded, right? Because it was magical healing? Is that what we determined? Alright, so you're no longer, you don't have the wounded condition, you don't have the dying condition, you're at 29 hit points, you're just prone. You wake up to a fire elemental behind a meat wall

next to you. You're finally done. This is the worst barbecue I've ever seen. Ethel's woken up in worse places than this. Let's be honest. And Suki says, It's me, Suki. And then

she goes, I'm going to die die but I will kill this dragon first and she goes up past Ethel to punch this dragon she's gonna die she's so close to death um but I am going to do a melee

attack with one of my like fiery tendrils um against you okay uh the dragon does not use going to do a melee attack with one of my fiery tendrils against you. Okay. The dragon does not use its AoE. Okay. My plus is different as a dragon. That's going to be

a 32 to hit. That's a hit. Yeah. I got a good plus at this 15, 5th level spell. It's a hit. Yeah, I got a good plus at this 15, 5th level spell. It's a plus 18. Nice. Nice plus. Nice plus. Thanks.

So that's gonna be 13 fire plus 1d4 persistent fire. Okay, alright, we'll roll that on its turn. 1d4 persistent fire. Okay, all right, we'll roll that on its turn. 1d4 persistent fire! Fire! And that's the end of the turn,

so I probably will die after this, but that's it. Punching a dragon, though, is so metal. She just whips it. She whips it against its neck, and it sears its neck. She's so mad. It's like Mungo in Blazing Saddles. Yeah, punching the horse. Yeah, and the horse dies.

Do you think if you were ever attacked by a shark in the ocean, you would have the wherewithal to just punch it in the nose? Absolutely. Do you think you'd be like, ah! Because I hear that's enough for them to be like, all right, all right! Skid! How do you have that?

How did he do a shark gift so fast? Skid, that was way too fast. Like I told you about that bit yesterday. I don't think I was fully through the bit or the word ark had come out yet. And you were just like, shh. And he just like slammed that thing. So funny.

I could talk about Landshark forever. I don't know why when I first started watching SNL as like a teen I thought that was the funniest fucking thing. It is a funny bit. It's a funny, funny bit. It is a really funny bit. Candy Graham. I'm only a dolphin, man. Candy Graham. Oh.

Candy Graham. Alright, that was Suki. It's Atticus' turn. Atticus, man. Okay. Candy gram. All right. That was Suki. It's Atticus's turn. Atticus, you're no longer frightened, but you're acting like a coward. What do you want to do?

What are you talking about? You're fighting. I mean, you're fighting. He comes around this corner. The creature still has not moved and he can still see it. And he's got line of effect to it. So he is just going to do his whole casting and speak the words

and then the glowing lines of force begin to shimmer around in front of him and then six of them just as six magic missiles. Oh, wow. It's time for a little heightened magic missile for the first time ever. as six magic missiles. Oh, wow. Damn. It's time for a little heightened magic missile for the first time ever. I've never seen a heightened magic missile. This is awesome. Heightened magic, John.

20 points of damage. Yo, all right. Nice. 20 points of damage. Are you guys going to pull this off? I don't know. I really don't know. I doubt it. Was that a three-action John scheme? Are you guys going to pull this off? I don't know. I really don't know.

I doubt it. Was that a three-action Jonski? Yeah, I used all three actions to do that. Okay. All right. Well, Ethel, big turn. It's your turn. Ethel, dude, come on! Come on, man.

Get it! Ethel will pick up his weapons. This is why he saved his AOO, I think. Ethel will pick up his weapons. Well, wait, this is why he saved his AOO, I think. Ethel will pick up his weapons and stand up. Two actions, or is that part of a movement of standing up? I can pick up my weapons? Assuming your weapon's failure, it's probably two actions. Two actions.

Okay. And then... Such a jerk move to make that two actions. I know, it's so dirty. But isn't it technically? Technically, absolutely. But it's also... I think Rigor Mortis set in as soon as he went unconscious

and he couldn't let go of his weapon. All right, Ethel will not... I'll let you have your weapons if you role play that you're covered in your own feces, as Rigor Mortis said it. Did you hear Ethel shit on himself before he died? Horrible bargain. Okay, I accept your devil's bargain.

You have to really play it up, though. You have to really lean into it. In every attack. Ethel, in the process of standing up, just feels the, like... And he's like... There's, like, a moment's hesitation you like see across his face just play out

not again this is why she left me it's so good that you put up that wall of flesh so you can't see this. Pants was too nasty. Wall of flesh, block that out. Dude, if she sees this, this might end the whole crush in one.

It might be too gross. I imagine even fire elemental Suki is like, ooh. Suki, you just hear like a big, like ethereal. This is worth it. Come on, dude. Come on! He briefly considers using an impossible... attempting an impossible act in the Dreamlands to oxyclean his pants while wearing them.

But decides that it may not be the time or the place. Instead, he stands up just a little bit bow-legged, because you don't want to spread that around any further than it's already been spread. And he will take a step, and he will take a swing with the scimitar. Swing away. Come on, dude. Come on. Oh, my God. We pumped this up.

The saves for this, even if i get the natural 20 it's not going to be ahead of so but we can dream it's fun natural one oh no it's the poop it's the it was the poop take my hero point take my hero oh yeah use your hero point Oh you already had a hero point I already used it To roll another natural one That's right I remember that It's not my night guys That was this ep That was this ep

Was it or not Capitacasa you are Ice Cold Ice Ice I would like to choose What's the furthest place from here

it's already been chosen Reykjavik this one is from Ryan in Sydney New South Wales, Australia Sydney that's my name that's her name

from Sydney unstoppable force immovable creature Sidney, you submitted a crit. Sidney! Unstoppable force. Immovable creature. You hit your enemy hard, really hard, and unfortunately, your weapon gets stuck in a limb. Normal damage to the opponent's armor, or non-lethal damage to them if they have natural armor, and your weapon becomes lodged. You can dislodge it

by spending an action to wrench it while they're within reach. So it's normal non-lethal damage. 13 points of non-lethal damage. Super lucky. But your weapon gets lodged in like a wing bone or something. Thanks, Brian.

That actually wasn't so bad. Is it Brian or Ryan? Brian something. Thanks, Brian. That actually wasn't... No, it's not bad. Is it Brian or Ryan? Brian, be as in Brian. Sorry, I said Ryan. I apologize, Brian. Thank you. Thank you, Ryan.

Good crit, Ryan. Good day, Ryan. Good day. Oh, there you go, Skid. There you go. Is it Brian Holland? I'm wondering. I don't think he's in Sydney, though. No he's not in Sydney Is he in New South Wales

Queensland Queensland It's all the places I know I believe he's in Melbourne Perth Perth Alright That was Ethel's turn

Ethel's turn Ethel's turn is over Cool use of your turn, Ethel Glad I'm dying for you Listen You ended your turn right next to my meatball Oh no

I don't know why you did that It was the only way I could get to the dragon I know Meat, meat, parents Here we go did that. It was the only way I could get to the dragon. I know. Meat. Meat. The parents. Here we go. Wait, wait, wait. Does the meat wall need to attempt to save to, because of the smell of the poop? Oh.

It can drink potions. Why not? It doesn't have a nose. It's got a lot of mouths, though. It's a fair question. It'll taste his poop. When it attacks him. All smell is is inhaling the particles of the substance you're smelling. Yeah. You guys are being real gross.

You know what? I rolled a natural 18. Oh, come on. Is that a critical? It's a 35. No. It's not a critical. Okay.

All right. Six points of damage. Six plus four. I rolled a one, so it's five points of damage from my mouth. So a mouth comes out of the wall and bites you. Yeah, and then it's immediately like... You know, maybe the wall likes it. Some dogs like eating poop.

Maybe my wall likes eating poop. Gross. On reflex, Ethel hip checks the wall with his soiled trousers. He flexes. Ethel hip checks the wall with his soiled trousers. I am going to do a move I've done six episodes ago called Draconic Frenzy, where I get to use two actions to make two claw strikes and one wing strike in any order. And I'll start with a claw strike on Suki.

Yep. 34 to hit Suki. What do you think? Yeah. Not a crit, though. No, not a crit. Okay. Sydney's getting there.

She's getting to that place where she's just, like, angry. I'm going to go down. I know I'm going to go down. That's 31 points of regular damage. I am down. Followed by five points of negative, but you're down. You're dying one. So Suki falls.

Yeah, I come out of the form, the elemental form, Sailor Moon style, but less hot. It's a little sad. And she falls to the ground. And you feel bad. And she falls to the ground. Who feels bad? The audience. Who's the you?

Oh. That's fair. All right, so you fall. And now it's a couple more attacks on Ethel. Well, this is interesting now. I thought you would last for a couple hits. So second claw is on... There ever was a time for you to roll a natural one.

This would be nice. It's not a good roll, but I don't know what your AC is at. 28. My AC is 28. That happens to you more than any other person on this show. Okay. That's got me on just absolute rocks. 15 is 28 points of damage.

Several balls. Oh, my God. God. Dang balls. Oh my god. Dang it. Dying three. No, the treated wounds. Oh, I thought it was just magic spell. I don't think you lose a wounded condition on a magic spell.

You lose a wound, treat wounds. It didn't say such as treat wounds? I believe treat wounds is the way that you that seems crazy to me that like magical healing wouldn't remove loaded right if you have the the wound condition ends if someone successfully restores hit points to you with treat wounds or if you're restored to full hit points and rest for 10 minutes. I'm pretty sure it's actually just for treating wounds. What? That's ridiculous.

Treat wounds takes 10 minutes. I legitimately do not understand how medicine is supposed to work in this universe. I don't get it. I mean, I know mechanically how it works, but I don't understand how people are trained surgeons.

You need the battle medicine feat to use it in combat. I have the battle medicine feat. Yeah, you could do it to yourself and end your wounded condition. Not now. Yeah. So I'm at wounded two. Let's just all die together.

I think so. Yeah, TPK, anybody? Let's just all die together. It wasn't a crit, so you go straight to dying two. Let's just all die together. I think so. Yeah, TPK anybody? Let's just all die together. It wasn't a crit, so you go straight to dying two. Right? Dying three. So I became wounded two when I got healed.

And now I'm a dying three. Yeah. Oh, because it's one bloody. I should start to die three. You have the die hard feat? Yes. You'll live forever. It has two more

attacks. The next attack will be on Suki with a tail. Excuse me, it goes claw, claw, tail, right? Let me see if Draconic Frenzy is... Even though I'm down? Yes. Excuse me, it's a wing. Yeah, it does no one else to attack. Battle Medicine specifically

mentions that it doesn't remove the wounded feet. It could attack the wall. Wow. It could, and I thought about that. However, you'll enjoy the fact that I rolled a natural one. There it is. Yay! There it is. It was bound to happen. That's the one we needed. That's a natural one

with a wing attack on Suki. That's what you get for being mean. You got all distracted during the Sailor Moon phase out. I did, I did. There's poop, there's Sailor Moon, there's a lot happening. All right, this one from Tom in St. Louis, Missouri. Tommy!

Tommy! This one is called So Predictable. Apparently this enemy just has you figured out your attack misses and your target gains plus two to their AC against all attacks from you for 1d4 rounds. Cool. That's pretty good, Sukey. Not terribly relevant here, but doesn't hurt. Well, as it's attacking unconscious bodies, it can be relevant.

And it's for four rounds, Sukey. I rolled a four on the d4. So plus two to your AC for this. Nice, Tom. Thank you. Thank you, Tom. Thanks, Tommy. All right, so I do have one more action.

Draconic Frenzy is two actions to make those three attacks. Unfortunately, like now, it's a very, very low chance to hit. And so I'd like to move. And since these bodies are unconscious, I think I will. Let's draw some more people into the room here. So she flies over the bodies and just floats behind the meat wall, and now you may take your meat wall strike. Okay.

This meat wall is on strike. Meat wall! Okay, let's see. Put it up, put it Okay, let's see. 29. 29 is a miss. Damn it. Could have done six more points of damage, maybe.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda. It's Aldo's turn. Aldo. Meat wall. Meatball. Meatball. Aldo is, he has three elixirs of moderate, moderate elixirs of life. He's going to use

three actions to gently lay all three of them on the table next to him. So I, uh, first come first serve. That's not a bad idea Let's see if anyone will be bold enough to take the challenge Eris, you're up You see Aldo right near you Place these three elixirs of life on the table

You heard some action on the other side of the flesh wall And now it's very quiet over there And the dragon has flown out of sight Well, I'm also grabbed by the table right now you are grabbed by the table so how's your acrobatics um i think dex is like pretty good for me so acrobatics it's not it's not bad i'm not trained but i do have like the untrained improvisation okay um Okay. So, can I grab... Well, I'm not going to grab the elixirs unless I know that I can move over there,

so I guess I want to try to release myself first. All right, so you want to take a stab at it and see what happens. Ooh, that's a good roll. So it's 28. 28 acrobatics? Yeah, I rolled a natural 16. I have a plus 12.

Okay, and escape artist is acrobatics, right? Am I remembering that correctly? Not escape artist, escape action is acrobatics, just making sure. You can do multiple different things. That's true. Whatever's best. It might be athletics. I think it's athletics.

Typically athletics. I think it's athletics. Typically athletics. It could be thievery. You can attempt an acrobatics or athletics check instead of using your attack modifier if you choose. So that's all to say you succeeded. Nice. You're 28. All right, so you're out. Hell yeah, okay. First action. Free from 28 alright so you're out

hell yeah okay first action free from the things you're out Tom and you you put I was trying to

plan my my turn while you were talking you put elixirs of life on the table yes Elda so

I grabbed those and all three of them boom boom boom yeah right there like you put them out there you've taken four actions this turn So I grab those and... All three of them? Yeah, right there. Like you put them out there. You've taken four actions this turn. No, I haven't. I guess you could just go...

Yeah. Just push them into your thing. Scoop them up. It's fine. That's fine. If you want to scoop them all, let's not... I'm not going to hold you over the coals here. That's fine.

Quickly, I want to be like, Aldo, these are for on the other side of the wall, right? I'm not being a douche right now taking these? She says to Aldo. Oh, no, fine. I mean, they're for whoever wants them. Okay, I'll take two for them. He says oddly calmly.

I'll just take two. The belt starts to tighten around his neck. Well, I'm having a lucid dream at the moment, so there's an odd sense of calm that comes with it. So I take the two, and I move up within 10 feet of the wall because I need to have another action to give these to you anyways, so I'm going to wait for my next turn to do that.

All right. Tactically smart, we move to the next round. Suki, you move in the initiative order now. Ethel, you're unconscious as well, right? I'm unconscious. Alright, so that means it is Atticus's turn.

And then, it is the dragon's turn. Man, this is hairy. Very. Yeah, so's so like yeah there's just nothing that i can do because of this wall nothing um because i can't get near any of the tables either because it'll be over over over um so yeah it's really tricky, right? If you go in there, you're just like entering Thunderdome. Yeah.

I'm going to delay. Okay. Let me get some saves then from Suki first. Okay. This would be DC 11. I just noticed. Oh. I just noticed we left Pepsi out off by the stairs.

Yeah, we never commanded Pepsi this combat. It kind of stinks when I take elemental forms or animal forms, I can't command Pepsi, so he didn't have anything. He's so weak. But I did roll a nat 20 on my save. A nat 20 on your recovery check means your dying value is reduced by two. It was at one, so it goes to zero. So you are now unconscious.

Cool. Good for you. And wounded one. And wounded one. Oh, shoot. Ethel, yours is DC. 16. So you're good.

Oh, no, you go up one. Dying two. It's a long way back. I'll be wounded three if I get out of this, which means if I go down again I'll go straight to dying four. Yeah, this is where we're at. This is how you die.

This is how you die. Keep going down in the same combat. Listen, I don't need you motherfuckers to tell me how to die in this game. I've done it enough. All right, here is what the dragon is going to do now on its turn. It is going to, from where it's standing, attack the section of the wall next to Ethel and Suki. I know from reading the spell it has AC 10 and 75 hit points.

So my hope is that I can crit it four times because I'm going to use Draconic Frenzy and the fourth attack with a very low BAB to just try and destroy that section of wall so that it can then enter the room. And this would make the flesh wall the greatest spell ever if this takes me more than two rounds to do it. Because I'm going to use a whole turn here. Alright?

So. Draconic Frenzy. I have to roll higher than a 20 for it to be a crit. And I natty 19 on the first claw. What section do you hit? It's the section that's directly adjacent to Ethel. Ethel, okay.

So I'm trying to create a 10-foot opening so I can get through, since squeezing is impossible in combat. Right in, if I'm wrong. And that is going to be a critical, obviously. Oh, almost fucking phenomenal. That is, you keep track, so you have 75 hit points on that. And I just rolled, 23, 46 points of damage on the first one.

Second claw is another crit. And, oh yeah. Oh yes. Just take two hits. If it's more than 29, you do the bottom square. It was exactly 29. So on the second attack of Draconic Frenzy, that section of the wall is destroyed.

Such a cool image. Just slash, slash, slash, slash. Slash it to pieces. I will forego that third action and just use the rest of my action to fly into the room right to there, right next to Eris, and still in the darkness.

Now, Eris is right next to it. Aldo, well, we can deal with it when it gets to your turn, but you see that it's right within the sphere of darkness. However, Eris has the magical light, which we've determined is enough to provide light because it's a item four. So yeah, we should be good. It is Aldo's Atticus.

You ended your turn next to my wall still. Ah, yes. Yeah. Come on. Got miles on that side. Forgot about still. Ah, yes. Yeah. Come on. Got mouths on that side. Forgot about that. 33 to hit. 33 is a hit.

Rolling rocks on this wall, man. You're killing him with the wall. The wall has been a beast. Because you moved forward there, Eris, I could have flown further into the room to get away from the wall, but I had to stop there unless I wanted to tumble through. That was all part of my plan.

Well, you're a genius. That's really what it comes down to. Nine points of damage. Nine points of damage on the flesh wall! Alright, don't forget I'm keeping track of that non-lethal. Alright, so I was going to say Aldo, but Atticus, now you want to go.

What do you mean, keeping track of that non-lethal? Non-lethal just takes your hit points down. Right, but it knocks you unconscious instead of killing you, right? Only if it's the last hit before you go down. I believe in 2E. I believe that's how it works in 2E. Atticus is going to utilize...

He's going to go. He's going to go. He's going to act. He's going to open his eldritch amulet and release and drain his bonded item of the day to recast heightened magic missile. Oh, there you go. Nice call. Six magic missiles. Oh, dude, even better. 23 points of damage. Yes.

Oh, no. Wow. And he no. Wow. And he dies. No? No? Okay. Still up? No problem.

She had a lot of HP, but I mean, you have... It's shocking that this isn't a TPK. It really is shocking. The meat wall, for all the problems it caused, it actually just focused the damage on two combatants. Yeah, I mean, and it also did, I mean, what are we at? Like, almost 25, 30 points of damage to the creature, too? Like, might just be like 20, but that's awesome.

We're at way more. Yeah. No, the biting. Oh, with the wall. The wall itself was doing damage. Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, nine, six, four, six. Yeah, that adds up.

That adds up. Yeah, because it had nowhere to go. Chiep, chiep. Okay, okay. All right, well, this is interesting. This is really a ticking clock now because you don't know when that breath weapon is going to be able to recharge

and the fact that you're all standing in this room standing and banging with it, it might be able to hit all of you and you've seen it lay out your friends. Oh, it's going to do it next turn. It's long overdue. It's Aldo's turn. But Aldo's got finally can just blow this thing to smithereens. Oh, right.

Oh, yeah. I actually have this. Oh, can I actually see it, though? Because, like. Yeah. Let's look here at the map. You're just on the edge of the darkness, yes. You are also on the edge of the light.

I'm going to say you can fully see it. Okay, so I'm poking my head into the sphere of light. Oh, there it is. I thought I recognized the old saint. And he is going to throw another attempt to throw another bottle of lightning come on come on credit credit 26

damn 26 a miss but it gets some incidental damage which when you get close to the end here is important yep 4 splash damage okay I'm going to oh all right throw another one uh that's yeah that's 27 all right so another four four damage and um yeah i'm just gonna throw to throw, uh, acid blast.

Uh, that's a miss, but that's another, uh, four points of damage. All right. So, you know, 12 points of damage is 12 points of damage where I stand. Uh, but it is still up and now it is Eris's turn. Eris, do you have anything in your arsenal here? So now this dragon's in my way, and I can't really get past it to do the potion thing to Suki and Ethel. Yeah, now it's kill or be killed. Yeah.

So I'm going to... Feel free to tumble through if you'd rather. Tumble, again, was athletics? Acrobatics. Acrobatics. Acrobatics. But it's either... So I tumble through, and then I use one action to give the potion to one person,

one action to give the potion to another. Right. I'm really just trying to lead you to make the wrong decision here. You know that, like, you're now in danger ethel and suki are a lost cause you hope that you hope for the best for them but like now you're gonna die just you just want to attack this fucking thing um also also like let's let's dig into the the mechanics here because it's it's pretty dicey is Is your speed 25 feet? Yeah.

So you can only move 10 feet. Oh. Because it becomes difficult terrain essentially. Yeah. So like, you know, if you were 30 feet you could move 15, but you're only 25. So you can't even get through it. And also using the

interact action would provoke from the creature as well. Alright, I'm going to call for guidance. Manipulate, not interact. But if it is manipulated, which it probably is. I'm going to call for guidance from the Baba Yaga on myself. Like, please, please.

This dragon's breathing down my neck. It smells worse than the poop in the pants. Please, please, please. And then I'm going to take a five please, please. You don't remember that. And then I'm going to take a five-foot step back. All right, you're going to take a step, just checking. All right, so guidance only has verbal components, so that doesn't provoke. And I'm going to cast a spell at you that I hope you fail your fortitude save for.

What's the spell? Rip the Spirit. Ooh! Rip the Spirit. Pathfinder, second edition. It's another one. When I actually read the spells, when I leveled up,

I'm like, this is what she has to take, for sure. Oh, this is interesting. It's one to three actions, so you're using the one action version of it? So the one action version, it just targets one living creature within range um the two action and three actions make it kind of like an aoe type of thing which i don't need so all right what i am going to do is i'm going to take my attack of opportunity on you first even if i take like a is that another thing

in 2e like taking like a guarded step back or whatever you did but this thing has crit oh wait you did take a step but then you cast a spell within its range. Oh, okay, right, because it's big. Right, right. Wait, what spell are you casting? Rip the spirit. And that's one action? It's a one to three action, John.

Is it vulnerable as one action? And that's somatic. All right, so because you're 10 feet away from me, I can use either my wing or my tail. I'll use the tail because it does more damage. Can I move further away from you then? If you do, the movement would provoke. So you provoke either way.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Let's just see. Maybe I won't kill you. Or maybe I'll roll a crit. Probably going to kill me. Or maybe I'll roll a natural two, which is what I rolled.

That is a 24 to hit. Miss! Nice. Miss! Yeah, without using my guidance, which I don't know if I can use it for that AC anyway, but. Things are looking up. That too. Alright, this I mean, I don't know anything

about rip the spear. Rip the spirit. Rip the spirit, so the flavor text of the spell is I supernaturally rip the spirit from a living creature's body, dooming the target to pain and death. It has the death trait. The target takes

damage depending on the fortitude save. Basic fortitude save. Takes 5d6 negative damage depending on its basic fortitude save and is drained 1 if it fails its save. You cast

the spell. It's immune to negative damage. And it does nothing as is immune to negative damage. It's breath weapon is negative energy. But you would have known that. I would have? Aldo told us that. Oh.

Well, then I don't cast that. Sadly, the spell has left your hands. It happens. It happens to the best of us. It also happens. I just didn't assume that just because I cast negative damage, I can take it. It's not your fault.

Yeah. It's not your fault. Hey, you only used one action to find out. It's just as good can take negative damage. It's not your fault. Yeah. It's not your fault. Hey, you only used one action to find out. It's just as good as a knowledge check. It's not your fault. You're fine. I mean, I used one action and a fifth level spell slot. Yeah, but you don't have anything else there.

Right? Like you... Right? Yeah. Well, and I can do another wall of flesh. I can do wall of flesh all day. Please no. No.

That's okay. That's okay. You ready, St. Paul? We're coming with a wall of flesh all day. Please no. No. That's okay. That's okay. You ready, St. Paul? We're coming with a wall of flesh. And we're still fighting this dragon. All right, it's round 17, and it's our fourth wall of flesh. Take me.

Take me. All right, it is. Take me out of my dreams. It's a new round. We're so close here. Suki, you are still unconscious. Ethel, you are still unconscious. And dying. And dying.

Which means it's the dragon's turn. I really thought someone else was going to get a chance to go. You're who? Is there a hero waiting around the corner for us? Going to wake us up, maybe? The dragon pours a potion in our mouth? Well, this is interesting here. This is real, real interesting.

I think it's time we bring out the old... No, not the cone. The old cone again, huh? The old David Cone. Oh, no. Ooh. Dude, I can't believe how slow you are with this thing. All right, I can get all of you.

Everybody give me a reflex save. Like, literally doesn't matter. I'm gonna die. Notably, Pepsi has been excluded from the cone. Yeah, Pepsi's doing really well. Pepsi's doing great. Pepsi's best 3F combat.

Can Pepsi use three actions to wake up? I wish. Pepsi! Alright, what did everyone roll? Atticus rolled a natural one. Oh, my God. Obviously. I mean, that is.

Obviously. So I'm going to spend the hero point. So it's over. I'm so angry. I knew this. I was waiting for the breath weapon. I was like, reflex is one of my best saves, so I'll just take half my HP in one hit,

and then I still have another chance to kill this thing before it's all over. All I have to do is not roll a natural one. And that's what I did. Okay. So I'm going to roll it again. That's what your bottle cap's for. Here we go. You son of a bitch, Atticus.

Man, right on the line. No, it should be a... I don't know. 29. 29. Okay. Suki. Not Suki.

Eris. 28. 29, 28, and Aldo. 35. There you go. Nice. Aldo. 35. There you go. Aldo. Aldo succeeded and will take half damage, which will be 17 hit points.

Eris and Atticus take 35 points of negative damage. 35 points. I am very down. You're down? Oh, yeah yeah i had 15 hit points left oh troy dude you got this i'm you got it it is happening what the tpk but it's like a fake one because it's a dreamland it doesn't really oh but it's so much more it's a danger room tpk you're in a you're in a prison on the moon. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, yeah, we could just wake up, but there's no way back.

Literally, I think Strange Aeons ends tonight. This is it. What AP are we starting in St. Paul? Hold on. Suki's unconscious and stable and wounded one. Ethel is unconscious and stable and wounded three. I'm a dying two. Dying two.

Oh, you're still dying. Eris, excuse me, Eris is now dying. Aldo and Atticus are still up. Yes. By a pubic hair. That's gross, but true. All right. I mean, this could be horrific for the campaign.

And it's Atticus's turn. I mean, not horrific, amazing, but like crazy crazy like off the rails wild uh you're on a prison on the dreamlands mode what do you do atticus atticus i'm thinking about harry we always come down that it's in your hands? This is so crazy, but... Oh, wait.

Does the wall of flesh go down when Aeris goes down? It doesn't. No, no. I'm not sustaining it. It's not concentration. Okay, I didn't know if that would affect Atticus. However, the wall does attack the dragon. Oh, right. Oh, when? That's right. Oh, I didn't know if that would affect Atticus. However, the wall does attack the dragon at this turn.

That's right. Natural two that time. Oh, damn. Fan fumble for the wall. 19, yeah. No, that is a fumble, but no, it's a miss. Atticus. Joseph. H. O'Brien.

Okay. Joey H., they call him. Uh, okay. This is it, baby. All the Marbs. Is there a role involved? Uh, not for me. Okay.

Uh, not for me. Okay. Atticus is going to move up between the tables across from Aldo, certain that he is going to be grabbed, and this will be his last action of the combat, and trying desperately to utilize the flesh wall as a barrier to protect his allies. He's gonna blast a cone of cold at this thing. Ooh.

Wow. I don't know if it's immune to cold very well maybe, but I don't have the action economy for a knowledge check, so I'm blasting it. Alright, now, this won't hit Ethel? Can you shape it in a way that, I mean, it's gonna hit either

Eris or Ethel, right? Well, I mean, I'm hoping the flesh wall blocks Ethel. And if it doesn't, yes, it's just going to hit Ethel. That's a, that's tricky. It's a little bit of coverage. It passes through the wall, but it's a cone.

It's area of effect. I don't know how you want to roll that. Where I was standing. If I, if I get any angle that leaves them out of it, it opens me to an AOO, which I can't take. Well, actually it's, you're, you're in AA territory because of its 15-foot range on the tail. Oh, I was just trying to stay out of that range. Yeah, so you move further back. I can't see the tables now, but oh, no, I couldn't move up to here.

I didn't have enough movement, I don't think. Oh, no, I do have enough movement to get there. Does that matter? You could be there or one step to the south, and that's 20 feet away. All right, one step to the south. Okay, yeah. So there. I still think that's a worse angle. I think, and this is my

opinion, we're all on the same team here in terms of the game, I think your best bet is to hit Eris because Eris can sustain more dying than Ethel can. That's a good meta version. The worst thing that's going to happen is, I mean, I guess she still has to roll a reflex save.

So she could critically fail your reflex save and go down two, but... I just thought the wall would protect them. So you're saying it doesn't, so I will pitch it toward Eris. Yeah, that's what I'm looking at. And even Matthew thought it would hit him as well. Well, Kate, you haven't used your hero point either.

Yes, this would be a good place to use it if you feel, because you get a minus 20 reflex. It's all of us. If you step back any further, you'll hit Aldo, because you could step back a little further. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I've looked at this, believe me, for the last half hour I've been looking at this i've been running scenarios uh and with that and with me failing

that save with that hit like one more hit and i'm down so like this is my last action and i you know who knows i could do no damage to him i could her i could do some it's just terrifying all right Aris go ahead and roll a reflex save and keep in mind you have a minus 40 reflex while you're unconscious oh let me add the unconscious condition yeah that should automatically do the math for it I had a dying but not unconscious I think gives

you unconscious but I don't know what Pathbuilder does. Yeah, not on this. I got a 26. 26. You want to stick with that probably. That doesn't seem like a critical failure. Yeah, I feel like it's fine. I'll roll mine here on roll 20.

35. Why'd you roll it on roll 20? Just so you could all see it. Okay. 35. Jesus. Why'd you roll it on roll 20? Just so you could all see it. Okay, 35. Great. Here we go. So not a critical success, it sounds like. I rolled really well.

I rolled 50 points of damage. Halved for you is 25. Wow. Cold. I don't know if it's immune to cold, but it's 25 damage. So I didn't critically succeed With the 35 No you did not critically succeed

With the 35 Wow what was critical success 37 37 so it was pretty damn close And I rolled it right there So you could all see it On roll 20 You guys can't see it at home

But they could all see it Aris so you take 35 So you just go straight to dying 2 Last time we were in St. Paul, it was fucking cold, wasn't it? Yeah, the coldest game in St. Paul Saints history. Yep. There was a cone of cold. I didn't even go to the game.

I went to the brewery. Wait if you guys come afterwards. I remember meeting you at that brewery or somewhere right after, and the cold was in my bones for like another hour and a half. Like it was just in my body. It was so cold there. Yeah. It's a different kind of cold up there,

man. It's a magical cold that I can't wait to get back to you, but we're going to be going in May. It's going to be beautiful. We're going to be there next week. There, there might even be tickets available. I don't know.

We're recording this a few weeks before the show. It might be sold out. VIP is sold out. Then we're in Asheville a couple days later. That one's definitely not sold out. I'd be shocked. Please come out to those shows because there's a good chance your heroes will still be alive because the dragon

is dead. We'll see you at Taipan! We'll see you at time five! Holy shit, bro! I thought I was bleeding into his hoop-stained trousers. We did it!

We did it! If we go down, we go down together. Amazing. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com. And for exclusive shows and content you can't find anywhere else, subscribe today at patreon.com slash glass cannon.