The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 77 – One Dollar Pickle

Episode Date: May 30, 2023

Glass Cannon Live! returns to St. Paul for a night full of huge discoveries as the heroes attempt to clear out another floor of the lunar prison. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. I heard you boo me in the pre-show package. Good night, everybody. How we doing, Minnesota? Oh, baby, it is great to be back in St. Paul. Yes, it is. And it's great to be back in the Twin Cities, am I right? We're actually

staying in Minneapolis this time around. Mixed results. Now that we've spent some time there, it appears that the Twin Cities are fraternal twins. And that Minneapolis got all the good genes in that zygote.

Kind of feels like Minneapolis was the twin that became the captain of the football team and then went to med school and won a Nobel Prize. St. Paul is the vestigial twin. St. Paul OD'd on Tide Pods in the eighth grade.

What a shame for that twin. No, I'm kidding. They're both equally unimpressive American citizens. How are you tater tot eating hillbillies tonight, huh? Are you guys fired up? Look at this fucking crowd. It's huge. Unfortunately, there are still six tickets left,

so we will not be back next year. I made it clear. You sold out last year. We came back. Six tickets left. We're not coming back for three or four years. No, but I got to say, I think we really like Minnesota.

It has a little bit of everything, except a Super Bowl title, of course. Oh my God. You can't have everything. You can't have everything. No, but we did have fun today. Skid, Sidney, and I, and Michael went to the Mall of America.

Yeah! That place is awesome. It was really fun. We had a great day. It's insane. What an insane place. Skid got a Jamba Juice and I'm not even joking,

Sidney got her ears pierced to Claire's. Show them! Show them! Show them your ears! Show them your pierc your ears it's so red I was at the arcade playing Street Fighter 2 while she got her ears pierced

it's already infected what's funny what's funny is Troy walked past the Claire's not knowing that I was in there because we split up the mall is massive and he thought

it'd be so funny if I texted the group chat and was like Sydney's getting her ears pierced. And I came downstairs and I was like, hey guys I got my ears pierced. It's really kind of amazing. So I was doing some hasty research of this

non-tourist destination. And Joe, did you know that these Minnesotans have a word that functions similar to John? No. Yes. Now, I could be wrong, but I looked this up, and there's a word that kind of means a little bit of everything. I think it's used as more of an exclamation,

but afta, am I saying oofta? What the fuck is oofta? Is it like John, or is it just, it sounds like you can be like. It's just something you yell. It's just something you yell. But you can be happy or sad and you say. Right. Oofta.

It's like oy vey. It's like, you know. Oh, okay. Oh, that clears it up. Yeah, yeah. Oofta. Oofta. So throw that in. Oofta. Throw in an oofta tonight. Oofta. I like it. Oofta. Oofta. So throw that in.

Oofta. Throw in an oofta tonight. Oofta. I like it. Oofta. Oofta. For a bottle cap. For a bottle cap.

It's funny. You kind of all answered all of those questions in unison. We were just talking about the Life of Brian scene. You must learn to think for yourselves. Yes, we must all think for ourselves. I'm missing the Celtics game for this shit show tonight. And don't cheer. I could leave at any moment.

And if anyone ruins the final score for me, I will end the show early and never come back to this state. Yeah, he's not joking. If you think I'm kidding, try me at the after party. Try me. The audience is like, you promise? They would miss us.

A big thank you to Matthew for taking time out of his life of defining his personality by a writer's strike to join us this evening. It's nice of you. Big round of applause for

Matthew, writer, strike, Kappa Da Casa. We love Matthew. What are you going to do when this strike is over? You'll have to... Go back to my life. Yeah.

What a shame. Thank you for putting it out into the world, though. Spread the word. I want to be a scab on the picket line of your life. You already are, Troy You already are I hope you picket me and I become infected

Wait, is that why it's called picket? Because you picket scabs and then they bleed? I think it is, look it up Oof-da Shut up Alright, listen I've got a juicy bant topic tonight Because 2023 is the year of the Bant.

I don't know if you knew this. I saw a meme the other day. Okay? You know, the big meme guy. I'm scared. It asked a very important question that at first I was like, oh, easy answer,

but then I thought about it and it has some complications that are going to blow your Vanderpump mind, Kate. You better tread lightly right now. You have not spent any time with us. You've been staring at your phone watching Vanderpump Rules, and it's rude. That's not a lie. Here's the question.

Would you rather have $10 million? Yeah. You ever know the question? I said yeah, too. All right, send us a yes. Or? Or go back to six years old with all of the knowledge you have now. Fuck no.

It's tricky, right? Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Before you start thinking about it, I'll give you my impressions of this. I think it is a very complicated question because $10 million sounds like a lot of money, and it is. Is it taxed? Don't worry about that. That's a big deal question.

That's an enormous difference. Pre or post tax? No, it's $10K post tax. Net. $10K. $10 million. $10,000 after the taxes? Oh, man.

It's $10 million post tax. Where did this money come from? Time machine, I guess. Jeez. $10 million post tax. But here's the thing. $10 million, it's not really a lot of money. In Troy's...

No, I'm not being a bougie douche. I'm just telling you, $10 million goes pretty quick. There's a huge problem with the question right out of the gate, which is like, you could just make $10 million betting when you're nine years old. Like, if you knew everything. So that's where your brain went. Wait, so it's not back in time, though. You're just six years old. You're six years old. Like, if you knew everything. So that's where your brain went. Wait, so it's not back in time, though. You're just six years old.

You're six years old now. And you just have knowledge. Yeah, let's do it that way. Otherwise, you're doing the, you're doing like the, I have the farmer's almanac for sports betting, and I'm gonna... Right, yeah, no, we'll throw out the

the Biff conundrum of this equation. So it can't be the 80s again. No, it can't be the 80s.. No, it can't be the 80s. It's 2023 and you're sick. This is important. No! I just love that in this hypothetical scenario involving time travel or this magical $10 million,

Joe's mind went to, care to make it interesting? Well, you would just make the $10 million and more with all the knowledge you have. If you were a six-year-old, well, maybe not with my knowledge, but with like Sk like skids knowledge think of how much money you could make but if you're a six-year-old now again not going back to the 80s do you know what like young kids have to deal with these days with like the internet and social media like no no yes but they have kids i can't compete

with gen z no The world is hard. It is. And I know so much about it. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. This is what I'm going to throw at you. Because Joe went straight to like, how can I make as much money out of this as I can? I think there is no way you can replace time with money.

Obviously, right? So going back to six, you get more time in your life. However, I would miss my wife and kids. So I would take the 10 million, not because I want 10 million, out of default. Who would go back to being six years old? Wait, wait, I'm confused.

So now it's like our consciousness travels back in time and has to relive our lives over again? Yes. Why do you have to make this so common? No, no.

So wait, part of it is you have to destroy your current family's life. You have to effectively die now. You didn't mention that in the first go, right? Well, no, because if you go back to six years old with all the knowledge you have now, you might not marry the person you married. Didn't we start with this being a meme?

You said it's not back in time. Right. Where was the meme? So you disappear from your family's life, and you're just some six-year-old wandering around. Would you rather be a six-year-old that like, betting on the horses? No, well, let's just say...

A six-year-old cannot raise a baby. No. Why not? Let's just do, let's just do the Marvel, like, the Marvel outcome if it's an alternate timeline.

You exist, but you are now a six-year-old. Like The Sims. The Sims 4 is an alternate timeline. You exist, but you are now a six-year-old. Like The Sims. The Sims 4 is an alternate timeline. Oh, yes, like The Sims. All us Sims heads. It's all us. Me and Kate are big Sims heads.

Anyway. I think you're onto something. Keep going. I think it's an alternate timeline. You still exist in your life. You don't destroy your family. You don't go back in time. It's not the 80s.

You just now open up. You roll the die. It lands on a six. New timeline. And now you're a six-year-old in 2023. But then you still exist on this other timeline as someone without 10 million. You'll never interact. You'll never interact. But which consciousness

are you consciously? Oh my god. This was not part of the meme. This was not part of the original meme. What was the meme? What was the meme? Would you rather go back to six years old with all the knowledge you have now or get 10 million? I don't think you know what a meme is. This isn't a meme. I don't know what memes are. This is just a question.

I think you meant a question from the internet. I know. Even a six-year-old knows what memes are, Troy. Yeah, but it had a funny picture of a cat, and the cat was like, huh? And Troy's like, well, that's a meme. You know that a Reddit post isn't a meme, right? I'm pretty sure it was a meme.

Would anybody go back to being six? No. I'm not asking you. You'll have your turn. We'll go one by one. Okay. No one on this side. Sydney, you altered a timeline six, maybe? No. Yeah, I'd go back.

You'd go back? Yeah, provided that I have this other consciousness That lives on and is, you know What if that isn't part of it? Then I'll take the 10 mil Let's rock, baby What would you do with 10 million dollars? I'd put it on black

And make it 20 million Put it on green So you wouldn't lose it So you wouldn to lose it. Oh, so you want to lose it. Give it away. To a casino. To a good cause like Caesar's Palace.

I think it's an interesting conversation. Is there anyone here that would go back to being six? Nobody? A minority. Troy, what would you do? You didn't say what you would do. I'd take the $10 million, but not because I want the money. So honestly, if they were handing it to me, I'd be like, just so you know, this is not a lot of money.

You would tell them that? He's doing it all for his family. Oh, I see. It's gun to your head. Would you take money or do this? And you're like, I guess if I have to choose. I never mention anything about guns. I'm just saying I would take the $10 million because I would miss my family. That's why.

If I could still have my family and my children, I might go back to six. I said you could. Yeah, but you added the caveat of a secondary timeline. You make everything so complicated. Do you think you're proving something to the people giving you $10 million by telling them that? What are you trying to prove? I'm just telling you what I would do. I would make them feel bad for giving me the money.

Oh, you're a good person. There's your $10 million. Add this to your good person points that no one counts or cares about. It's like a secret social interaction and they're like, you passed. Here's the real amount. You're a good guy.

Congratulations, Mr. LaValle. You passed the test. They threw in a crisp $20 bill on top of it For being a good guy Here's a little something for you Do you guys want to see some show? Yeah

I'd rather just bullshit up here But okay Joe, I want a real funky beat As we take it to the recap I want a real funky beat as we take it to the recap. I want a real good beat. That sounded good. Something dark.

You shut your mouth, sir. While I appreciate your sentiment. Let's recap more show is what I always say, so I'll try to keep this under 20 minutes. Two of our heroes, Aldo and Atticus, played by Skid and Stupid, respectively, began this adventure in a nightmare. A shared nightmare, in fact. Where a creature was systematically butchering them in their dreams. They then awoke in an insane asylum, in a fugue state,

with no memory how they got to the asylum or who they even were. Over time, they start to discover things about themselves. They discover they used to work for a man in some capacity, a man named Count Hazerton Lowes IV. And this Lowes fella traded them to the asylum in exchange for the ability to further his research. Richard Nixon. What we've gathered about the Count up until this point is that in an attempt to lift his deplorable standing

in the academic community, he abandoned his post in search of some sort of dark, esoteric knowledge. This search for knowledge has taken him not only far from his home, but apparently he has also been projecting his consciousness into the dimension of dreams to help him unlock this knowledge. He sought out

someone named the Mad Poet, who shared something with him, something so powerful that a fragment of his consciousness split off and remained behind in the dreamlands. That figment calls himself the Yellow King. Aldo and Atticus, along with some new allies they've met along the way, have been following in the Count's footsteps and projecting their minds into the dreamlands as well. During this time, they met the Yellow King, who sent them on a series of arbitrary dream quests to track down items that could be given as gifts in order to attain an audience with this mad poet. So after retrieving all the gifts, our heroes went back to the Yellow King and they found out that he had been abducted and brought to the Dreamland's moon where he is being

held in a lunar prison. So our heroes go to the moon, they break into the prison, and they discover that it's in the midst of a civil war between the two moon beasts that run the place. One of the moon beasts, the original warden, promises the party that they can have the yellow king if they dispose of the other moon beasts. An upstart junior warden who didn't agree with the way business was being conducted at the prison. a junior warden who didn't agree with the way business was being conducted at the prison. So the five dreamers infiltrate the west side of the prison and head upstairs where they find what appears to be a maintenance woman working on a strange device, a device that they soon find out is meant to capture the screams of its victims as they are tortured to death.

A three-episode battle ensues that no one on the internet complained about. That everyone on the internet felt was tactically sound. Tactically sound in just the right length of time. And by the book.

By the book. By the no errors whatsoever. No rule broken. No mistakes. I was unconscious for most of it. That is true. I bear very little responsibility. During this battle, the woman, the maintenance woman, reveals herself to be an umbral dragon

whose dark powers from the shadow realm are almost too much for the heroes to bear. Until finally, the dragon is defeated. But not before three of our heroes are left on death's door. That is where we ended last week's episode and that is where we pick up tonight.

Yeah, baby! Woo! Death's door! Let me look at my initiative tracker here. Just to give you an idea, Ethel, what is your current condition? I am at dying two and wounded two. Sucks to be you. Suki, what are you at? I am unconscious and just at wounded one.

And just at wounded one. Atticus, you landed the killing blow, but also did damage to Eris. How are you feeling? I am down about half my hit points, but I am conscious. Okay, nobody likes a braggart. Must be nice.

Yeah, conscious at the end of this. It's a big win. Eris, where are you at? Dying two. Dying two. Dying two. Any wounded? Nope. Okay.

You weren't dying one until Atticus hit you with an AoE spell, bringing you to dying two. Remember that. It was kind of rude. Aldo. We had to get out of that episode. Aldo, you've got a bit of a situation over there. Yeah, I'm pretty badly hurt. I'm also being grabbed by a table.

Mm-hmm. Oh. So I got that going for me. I'm in the loving embrace of a magical table. Yeah. And we shouldn't forget that Aldo gave all of his elixirs to Eris, who is on the ground unconscious. Yeah.

Now, we still use the... A funeral offering, I guess. We still use hero points in this silly game. However, they will not renew at the beginning of this session because you are still kind of in this combat from before, so as long as you have hero points left over from last time, you should be fine. Matthew, how many hero points

do you have? I have zero, Troy. What a shame. What a shame. Atticus, you were the last one to act. Eris, you are a dying two. Give me a death save. Also, guess what? When I made this character, I took toughness as a level three feat, so my

DC to this check is nine plus my dying condition instead of ten. So don't come at me if I roll an eleven or a twelve or whatever. I don't want to hear it. How many significant others understood that? What? Woo!

Alright, let's see what you got. I don't get it. Okay. I'm going to use my hero point. Wait, what did you roll? A three. I swear to God. Joe has strong feelings on this case. What?

Wait, no, here's the thing. You could, if you want, use your bottle cap to just get rid of the dying condition. That's true. Because if you rolled that three, your dying condition would increase to dying three. You could use your hero point and just wipe it out, and you'll just be wounded too. Versus rolling. Versus rolling again, and you would save the hero point,

but you could go to dying three. But if I succeed, am I wounded? She's not saving the hero point. She's going to lose it either way. You are not wounded if you use the hero point. Yeah. But you should not use the hero point. She's going to lose it either way. You are not wounded if you use the hero point. Yeah. But you should not use the hero point. It doesn't make any sense.

Because you can use it next round if you actually die, and it's the same result. But if you don't die, then you save the hero point. So you think she should just go to dying three and move on? Okay. But it's up to you, Kate. Don't use it. Right. Because you can use it next round round and you still won't die.

I'm going to go against my better judgment and listen to you right now. Wow. This feels wrong. It is correct. Okay. You sound very confident, so. I'm extremely confident.

If you offered me $10 million with a chance to go back in time to all the times I thought that, I probably would take that. Don't let me down. You'll be fine. Bruce, Aldo, you are grappled by a table. It happens to the best of us.

Just a round ago, you created three elixirs, laid them on that table, and Eris grabbed them, scooped them into her satchel, and then she died. She's dead. What do you want to do, man? I am going, I just, I realize this. I do, I have a mutagen that I should have used way earlier. I'm going to use it now. Okay. He's going to quickly guzzle, imbibe his quicksilver mutagen,

which will make him longer. It's like, oh, his bones kind of crack, crack, crack, like stretch out. He gets more angular and lean and quicker as he's going to try to do an acrobatics check to finally free himself from this damnable table. All right. Get it. All right. Get it. All right.

That is a high number indeed. Okay, that's a 27. You know, it's funny. It's like I was looking for the DC while you were installing. Oh, good. 27. It's a fail. Oh. All right. How many actions was it for you to make and drink the mutagen?

No, I had it already. You had it, okay. So that was one action. One action to try to free myself. And then I used my final action. You can try again. Do you still get the boost? I would, but it's still at the multiple attack penalty.

Yeah, another minus five. You assured me at lunch that this was possible. He had been drinking quite a bit. I had a hurricane at lunch. He had several mules on tap. What did you roll? I rolled a natural 12, so... Yeah, it's possible.

Alright, I'm going to use my final action in a vain attempt to actually succeed here. Nope. Okay. Just how they drew it up backstage. Top of a new round. Ethel,

if you critically fail this, you will be sitting in the audience for the rest of the show. That's not true. Oh no, you're dying too. I'm a dying too. A lot of people want you to sit out there. I'd be happy to join you. There is a free seat. There's a free seat right there. Can I take my microphone with me?

I'll allow it. Sounds pretty good to me. If he goes on the crowd, just kill that mic. Sixteen. Yeah! Awesome. That sounds like the voice of a man who's a dying one. It does sound exactly like that.

Suki, you're unconscious. What are you dreaming about in the dreamlands? Oh, I don't know. Probably my homeland where I grew up and my sister. And it turns into a nightmare. Oh. And maybe Suki's like

twitching. Okay. Like a little bit. And her eyes are fluttering. And it's a dream within a dream? Wow. What? It's inception. I didn't even know that was possible. This got wild. Yeah. That's it. I have nothing. I'm unconscious. That's Inception. I didn't even know that was possible. This got wild. Yeah. That's it. I have nothing.

I'm unconscious. That's my turn. You know, situations like this call for a hero. And luckily we have one with us today. Because there is one character who is not grappled by any tables. Oh. A character who has all three of their actions. Pepsi! Big Pepsi crowd here.

You guys like Pepsi? Pepsi has done shit. Pepsi is sitting on the stairs the whole fight, just watching. He's scared! He's scared! This character is played by someone who is known for their phenomenal decisions. Joe, how do you save the day?

He is going to move down to Eris and grab a poche. Two actions. Third action, administer the potion to Eris. All right, and how much healing is that? Two actions. Third action, administer the potion to Eris. Come, come, come, come, come, come. All right, and how much healing is that? Who knows? It doesn't matter. But you removed the dying condition.

You were at dying three, right? Yeah. All right, so now you're at wounded three, but you're up and you're conscious. Oh, right. We'll figure out that later. That is 5d6 plus 12 hit points. Hell yeah.

Of healing. All right, I'll let you roll that in your own time. Joe, are you done with your actions? I'll roll it. I got you. Okay. Thank you. I was going to just move on.

You can move on, but I'll roll. Okay. Back to Eris's turn. Eris, you're now awake, but you're prone. Holy shit. I rolled 6, 6, 5, 5, 4. Wow. That's awesome.

What does that all add up? 38 points of healing. Wow. All right. 6, 6, 5, 5 That's because you use an app and not your hands Yes Exactly Alright so 38 points of healing You're now awake

You're wounded 3 Which is still a very dangerous place to be If you go to dying right now you're permanently dead However Why are you excited? She sounds terrified Interesting You're awake and you're prone What do you excited? She sounds terrified Interesting You're awake and you're prone, what do you do?

Alright, so Where am I on this map? I guess I grabbed all of these elixirs Because I was worried about Ethel So I awaken to Atticus Glug glugging me some healing potion And I'm going to get up One action.

That provokes Rheumaticus to take a new one. Yes, I will use my silver dagger. She surprised me. I didn't think she'd move that fast. All right, stand up. One action. Get up. Take a potion out, because I guess I wasn't grabbing them because I was dying.

And I guess my last action is going over to where Ethel and Suki are. Okay, so you move in the direction of Ethel and Suki. Cool. Very cool. You just stand there. And frozen in time, about to pour the potion, but it's six seconds. I gotta wait until it's my turn!

He's slowly counting to six. Must be polite! Gotta wait for everyone else to go. Aldo, it's your turn. You're due. Get out of this prison. Alright, I'm still boosted. He's quick as a lynx.

He's gonna try it again.. Come on, get it. Get it. You're scared. What is it? It's a natural two, so it's very bad. He's like, come on, you bloody bugger. Draining against it. I'll try again.

Got this. Nope. Fuck. I'll try again. Got this. Nope. Fuck. With his last action, he's going to plead for help to Pepsi.

Pepsi, please! Pepsi, please! Help me! Help! For flavor, Pepsi just kind of cocks its head. Oh, no, you understand me, Pepsi! Come on!

It turns around. It starts to slither the opposite direction. Oh, no! You bastard! Pepsi's gone! Where did you put Pepsi? Bloody snake!

Where's Pepsi? Pepsi is beyond the scope of this adventure. Pepsi uses three actions to wake up. Pepsi uses three actions to wake up. He just, like, wakes out of existence, and he's like... He's sitting in an easy chair with a pipe. What a horrible dream!

He's sitting in an easy chair with a pipe. What a horrible dream. It's the toughest. So stupid. I've actually been like a robe. All right, it's a new round. A smoking jacket. A smoking jacket. But he has no arms.

There's blue sleeves. This is a sock. Crackling fire. It was a lunar prison. All right, it's the top of a new round, and it's Ethel's turn. Ethel, you're a dying uno. Uno.

Uno. And I fail the check. I roll a 10. Back to dying two. You hate to see it. Suki, you're unconscious. Atticus, what do you do? Atticus, hearing Aldo's screams for help,

his pathetic pleading, he will move up to Aldo and will aid Aldo in his acrobatics check. Oh, nice. With acrobatics himself, so he'll get his little rat hands in there and his little legs. It's like push on these belts.

I like it. Yes. All right, so you're readying in action to aid when he does it. Yup. And now it goes to Eris. Eris, you're standing over the bodies of Suki and Ethel. Who do you pick?

Ethel. Obviously. Ethel is dying too right first of all and he's my boyfriend but and he's my boyfriend

so yeah I uh feed him um I have I'm not sure what you gave us Skid but I have elixir of life lesser

and moderate and then what did you make I I gave you I had given you three elixir of life lesser and moderate. And then what did you make? I gave you, I had given you three elixir of life moderate. All right, I give them a mod. One of which is two. So you have two moderates. Let's say you have one out and you administer him,

maybe with a little Merlot. Sure. There you go. All right, so that will bring you, you'll be wounded. What will you be wounded at? You were wounded two, so you'll be wounded three will you be wounded at? You were wounded two so you'll be wounded three but you will be awake

and alive and prone. Hey Joe I'm going to say something I've never said before. Could you roll my dice for me? Oh. 34 points of healing.

Wow. Did you just make that up? No I did it. I pre-rolled. Wow. I knew you were going to want it. Wow. I knew you were going to want it.

Matthew and I spent some time together today in the old mill. In the mill ruins. What's that? In the mill ruins. There's trouble at the old mill? Trouble at the old mill. So how many actions is that? That was one action?

Yes, yes. So you had that potion out, so you administered one action. And I take out another and give it to Suki. Third action, give it to Suki. Woo! You get a moderate, you get a moderate. All right, and since no one is in danger anymore, I'm going to hand wave the rest of this. You are able to help him get out.

You're free. I want to roll my eight! Wow. Just made free. I wanted to roll my eight. Wow. Just made it. Natural five. I'm going to hand wave it because now no one is in danger of dying anymore. However, there are still some wounded conditions. Here's what I don't want to do.

Spend the next hour healing. All right, so I'm going to roll my healing from my elixir of life. Please stop. You're ruining everyone's time. I would role play along the way. Joe rolled. I didn't ask you to roll for my healing. It's too late.

He rolled three ones in it, so thanks. Thanks. You know it. Here's the thing it Speaking of which Can I tell a quick Joe story This is such a natural one This is such a Joe thing That happened to me coming here And I say it like it happened to me

It's my own fault It's so irritating I went to the airport to fly here And I was like Alright I'm going to This flight's over lunch So I'm going to get Some lunch to have On the plane

And I'll usually get Like one of those Pre-wrapped sandwiches And I was like You know wait I got a little bit of time And there's a deli there And I'm like

I'll order A little chicken salad Sandwich for myself And I'm ordering it And it's like Would you like to Add a pickle And I was like

For one dollar A little side pickle Yeah I'll add a pickle high roller yeah exactly exactly don't give this guy 10 million dollars i wasted on pickles i blow it all on airport pickles put it all on pickles they have a huge resale value anyway i was waiting for my sandwich, and the guy puts it in a bag, and then he grabs the pickle, and it is a full cucumber.

It is the size of a Nerf football, and he just wraps this thing in aluminum foil and just funks it into the bag. And I'm like, how am I going to pull this thing out on a plane? And like eat this pickle. This is going to be ridiculous. So I just take the bag and I put it in my backpack and I get on

the plane. And I am two and a half hours into the flight and I'm like who's ready for a little chicken salad? And I go down under the dawn and I open up my backpack, and I pull out the bag, and everything inside of it comes out because of the soaking wet pickle juice that went all through the bag, and it completely coated the top of the only sweatshirt I brought to Minneapolis.

I knew it was going to be cold at night and it just reeks of pickles. So I can't even wear it. And this person next to me on the plane doesn't know who I am. And I want to try to turn and explain why this is so mean. And I'm sitting there fuming in my seat and just like shaking. I'm like, I had to say yes to the pickle. Like I couldn't just be like, no, I'm good. Anyway, that was my natural one moment. Wait, wait, wait. This story is not finished. What happened to the pickle?

I threw the pickle out in a rage. Oh, my God. Oh, no. It betrayed me, Matt. Wow. Well, yeah, but also, have you ever been on a plane and turn and saw somebody grab a cucumber-sized pickle and just start going at it? Like, that's so weird. You were the pickle guy on the plane.

You were the pickle guy. I thought they were going to give me that little slice of a pickle wrapped in a little wax paper or something. It was a football. Wait, wait, can we talk about the crazy guy on the plane? Oh, my God. I am sitting in the aisle seat and there's no one sitting in the aisle seat

next to me I don't know why people keep trying to move seats but I'm not paying attention I'm playing my fucking games with my headphones on

and then I see out the corner of my eye this guy doing things so I look over he's got two plushies and he's going hello hello there

welcome to the I don't know what the he said um i have my headphones on and i was just like that and i went back to my thing but then someone sat in the seat he had the he buckled the the plushies into the seat the open because no one was sitting there and then someone came to set sit there right before we got up right before we got up in No, no, no. Right before we got up in the air, this guy was late. And he's like, he takes the plushies out and he goes, you took our seat. Oh. And like talked through them for like a while. On a commercial airline. Two people.

That's a commercial airline. But Troy made a really good point because we texted about it and we all were like, well, is he good at it? Maybe he's a puppeteer. Well, that was my first question. I'm like, how are his skills? And then Kate responds. I'm looking at the text chain here

because it's so hilarious. Because at first it seemed like Kate was just upset that there was a crazy guy with talking puppets. But then she was like, well, you can clearly see his mouth moving. Which ruins it. It ruins it. I said, is she upset because there's a crazy guy

or is she upset because he's a bad puppeteer? It's all so frustrating. I mean, I still maintain that we have to thank the plushies for their service, because if you can imagine what it would be like if they weren't there. Yeah. He needed them. I hope that guy isn't here tonight. He stuck the plushies in between the spaces between the seats. He was in the middle seat, he has stuck them in as,

as this conversation is going on. I'm like, I'm like reading my book or something. And then I happened to like try to, I look back at Kate and she makes the face of me and I turned to look the other way. And the plushie is like right here. Like by his head,

little dead eyes. Two dead eyes. Oh no. It was the, it was the plushies. You're sitting in our seaties You're sitting in our seat You're sitting in our seat Get out of our seat

Were their names Bell and Sebastian No I just made that up I saw the guy Getting off the plane too And he looked just like A washed up prop comic Who had like

20 minutes total On stand up stand up On Comedy Central Back in like The early 90s It just makes sense It just makes sense. He talked to the flight attendants through the puppets, too.

Fuck that guy. Skid was very clear. I was really mad. I was just like, I don't like this dude. Skid just kept saying, I don't like this guy. I don't like him. He texted, I don't like the sound of this guy. I was catching up on all this because my flight was first, so I landed and my phone was like,

93 messages just between these five. Well, because we're all on the same flight, but we were sitting near each other. We were having fun. I was reading it and I was like, this guy really does sound crazy. Joe, you had a plan for healing. In the event that everyone lived, you had a plan for healing. In the event that everyone lived, you had a plan for healing that we could just fucking get through. Boom.

It's as simple as this. 24 hours of rest. Joe! And constant, constant work. Everyone else is going to get their eight hours. Sleeping like a baby. Suki is going to be sweating

bullets, just treating wounds for 24 consecutive hours. going to get there eight hours sleeping like a baby Suki is going to be sweating bullets just treating moods for 24 consecutive hours yeah no it's actually the math works out to roughly 16 hours but we figured

why not let's take the day alright so where do you go and do this nonsense well there's the we should go in the gear room

I'm going to get rid of the me wall if you're taking 24 hours the me wall disappears yeah me wall's gone after 10 minutes we should go we hardly knew ye.

Let's go into the gear room. Yeah. A lot of me-wall lovers. We go into the lever room and just lock that door and bar the door. The which room? The lever room. Is that how you say it? Lever room?

That sounds better. Lever. Where are you from? Lever? Lever? How do they say it here? I think your Atticus is coming out. Lever.

The lever. Let's go to the Lever room. The Lever. All right. The more you say it, the weirder it gets. You go into the Lever room and you rest for 24 hours.

I will say that before you do that, you probably want to search the room. You guys always forget to search the room because we're live in front of thousands of people. Oops. You find some forget to search the room. Because we're live in front of thousands of people. Oops. You find some things in that room, in that horrible torture room.

You find a small, because it's a fucking dragon dude. What are you showing each other? Memes? I still don't know what a meme is. Joe's googling how to say lever. It's pronounced lever. Oh my god. It's pronounced lever.

Oh my God. Oh my God. It's just L-E-H-V-R. Lever. Lever. They're telling you there's le and not lee

you dumb dumb. It's not lever. Hey, hey Sid. God, this is us at lunch saying hurricane excuse me perhaps it's because I I'm a bit of an anglophile British people say it with a lever

but you're not British I know but I love the British you're Irish my grandmother's rolling over what would your father say But you're not British I know, but I love the British You're Irish Yeah What would your father say If he heard you say you love the British He would turn off the podcast Immediately

Are we doing wine shots? So here's what's happening right now This is so This is such a Such a nonsense shit show that we do At lunch today we went to the Smack Shack, anybody know the Smack Shack? This is such a such a nonsense shit show that we do. At lunch today we went to the Smack Shack.

Anybody know the Smack Shack? It's fucking awesome. People were making fun of us for eating lobster in a landlocked state and it was delicious. I was making fun of us. I was making fun of myself

really. I've only taken eight shits since that lunch. However there was a thing on the menu that said wine shots

so we talked to Melanie the waitress and we were like, Michelle, Michelle, Michelle, whatever. It's not important to the story. Whatever. I was like, Megan, what are these wine shots? And she said, she told us the whole story.

And we're like, cool. And then she came back. She's like, guys, want to do some wine shots? And she ripped one with us at like 1.30. It was great. So since then Kate and Sydney have been pushing wine shots on us for the past

six hours. We are not pushing them on you. It's also it's just wine. You just take a shot of wine. It's all the ceremony of a shot without the poison that's in an actual shot. Alright Troy. I drank mine. I saw.

Is it wine shot? Giving wine shots to the crowd? All right, here we go. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Umlaut? Umlaut. I want the audio-only audience to know that Kate just gave a shot to a 13-year-old. Don't say that. I could get arrested. I didn't do that. They have a wristband.

It's fine. They have a wristband. It's got a sweet fake. Oh, my God. Let's talk about this dragon treasure, you dummies. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Let's get the treasure. Also, when Suki wakes up, she spits on the body of the umbral dragon. You know. Fuck that lady. Whoa. Whoa. Is that the rosé talking? Excuse me.

This was a Sauvignon Blanc. Oh, pardon me. They always say Sauvignon Blanc's a good shooting wine. And Suki. It's called bodkin. Oh, yeah. It's called bodkin. Oh, yeah, it's called Bodkin. What does it say? The victor?

The victor spoils. The victor spoils. And that's Suki right now. She walks up. We are going to play this book till 2024. What's on the body of the dragon? There's nothing on the body of the dragon. There is a treasure hoard.

Oh. There's a small pile of silver rings, gold teeth perhaps taken from the victims of her torture. And similar valuables worth 750 gold pieces.

Well, that's a lot that we can't take back to the other... It's a lot of imaginary money that we just found. It's like Monopoly money. Yeah, exactly. It's Monopoly gold. This meager hoard

also contains an eyepatch that seems to be radiating magic. Oh, give me it! Oh, Atticus would look so good with an eyepatch! I would also look good with the eyepatch. You look like a real pirate.

I have glasses. I don't want to be a pirate. I don't want to I have glasses. I don't want to be a pirate. I don't want to be a pirate. I don't want to be a pirate. All right. You try and figure out what this eye patch is. Holy shit. What's going?

It's an eye of fortune. Whoa. That sounds good. What is that? Adherence of Erastle, god of the hunt, create these magical eye patches. An eye of fortune has a jeweled eye symbol on its front,

allowing you to magically see through the eye patch as though it were transparent. Activate. One action. You attack a concealed or hidden creature and haven't attempted the flak check yet. Oh, that's the trigger. It's a reaction. Shut up. If you do that, you can roll the flat check for the concealed or hidden condition twice and use the higher result.

That's very sweet. That's very cool. That is awesome. I would like to get in on the roll off. I think it should go to Ethel. No, it should go to Aldo. I agree. It's decided.

Let's roll for it. You guys are so polite. Let's see who... It's a 15 for Aldo. It's a 14 for Aldo. Close one. Nice game. When we after our 24 hours have passed, Ethel would like to go up to Eris very sheepishly.

He's like, I, avoiding eye contact. I want to thank you for what you did, for saving my life and all with the potion. I made you something. And he pulls out what looks like a very ornate chair, like a little throne. It's for your poppet friend. I just thought he might like to take a load off. I carved little chickens into the side post there because I know you like the chickens.

Anyway, you don't have to take it if you don't want to. I just thought maybe he might like it. She takes the chair, and she shows it to Egg, like she's showing the puppet it. It's like the guy on the airplane. The guy on the plane. The guy on the plane. You have a seat now.

You have a seat now. And then she like places. I'm the guy. That's what Eris is. That's the guy. It was Eris next to me. She places him in the throne and she just like big smile opens up and she goes,

this is really a great present. Thank you. You're welcome. Egg loves the throne. I mean, it's gonna disappear when we wake up. So don't get too attached.

But I can make a new one back in reality. This is a prototype. So don't get too attached. So I'll only have it in my dreams? I can make a new one back in reality. This is a prototype. So if you have any thoughts or Vegas opinions. Anyway. I kind of like the idea of only having some gifts from you in my dreams. Wow. Whoa.

That's so romantic. This is like a bromance, but between a man and a woman. Is there a word for that? I think it's just romance. Oh. Oh. How silly of me. Wow.

Those are just romances. All right. All right. Okay. And Ethel, like, runs away. And I also run away. Like, we both, like, okay. All right. Okay. And Ethel, like, runs away. And I also run away. Like, we both, like, okay. Scurry.

I got a feeling about these two. I go up to Suki. I'm like, look. Suki's like... I, like, look over my shoulder. I see them talking about it, and I just turn bright red. Summer love. It's happening so fast. Suki brushes away.

Oh! Suki brushes away, clearly a tear. She has been cried, and she goes, that's so nice that you have each other. For fuck's sakes Your character is depressing

Oh my god She's really depressing Right what you know Anyway Sydney Should I? Sydney Just drink from the bottle Sydney. Should I? Just, Sydney,

just drink from the bottle. Sydney's drinking white wine from the bottle again. In my mind, it's just the Charlie Brown song. Hello darkness, my old friend. Thank you, skin. But no, then Suki says to Eris, I have to go back downstairs. I need to see the cells. I need to know if Aleric was actually here.

I know you don't understand, but it's very important to me. Do you need someone to maybe come with you? Talk about Aleric for a second, because this all happened like nine episodes ago. Oh, yeah, that's true. So when we came into this room, this woman, what the hell was her name? Orsifelius.

Orsifelius, yes. Yeah, Orsifelius. We were invisible, and she brought up these prisoners that she had been torturing, and she brought up Alaric's name. Yeah, you had seen his name on one of the cubbies in that room

with all the records that showed the prisoners, and it seemed like some prisoners were still there, possibly still alive. One was Alaric, and who is he to you? You want me to tell you? Yeah, let us know. Alaric was... Spoilers. Yeah, listen to the

previous episodes. Everyone block your ears. Alaric was the love of Suki Yeah, listen to the previous episodes. Everyone block your ears. Alaric was the love of Suki's life, but he was a human, and he died. So she loved him very much, and they had a great relationship, but he passed away. He was sick. That's why elves should never love humans.

It's a hard lesson to learn. Yep. But she died. That's pretty racist. Huh? What did he die of? A sickness. It was like something they couldn't cure Sydney doesn't know

She would have to look that up Polio Classic human thing Yeah They don't have a cure for it in this world That's so human, dying of polio If you could have 10 million dollars

Humans out there are loving it So human, dying of polio. If you could have $10 million. Humans out there are loving it. I'll take the 10 mil. But she needs to know, if you could have an incurable disease, or... Or a $10 million. Have you guys seen this meme? Have you seen this meme? Have you seen this meme? Guys, I got a new meme.

What would you choose? Even a half ten million or an incurable disease. You drive a hard bargain, meme. It's a real finger. I was like, I don't know. Wow. I don't know.

They're like, really trying to sell you out. You're like, well, it's a real character builder if you took the polio. You'd be a real good guy if you took the polio. This is like a LinkedIn post in real life. Like, I wouldn't take the $10 million. I would take the polio.

Here's my 10 tips to being a boss. Life hacks Take the polio All the losers Take the money You could make way more than Ten million dollars If you invest the polio In an index account

Like and subscribe and I'll show you how Here's what you gotta do You gotta find five friends and give them polio in an index account. Like and subscribe and I'll show you how. Here's what you gotta do. You gotta find five friends and give them polio. And then they find five friends. You could make way more than ten. Oh yeah. Here's the thing. Orsifelius, when you came in there.

Here's the thing. Before she transformed into her herbal dragon form, she spoke of Alaric. Someone's getting a kick out of this. Good one. It got you. And she said that Alaric was very sick in your world. Yeah. And so he chose to heal himself in ours.

And this is information that you didn't know, information that may not even be true. But what reason would she have to lie? She doesn't know you from Adam. Right. He was corrupted, though, when he came here. He came to the Dreamlands, maybe perhaps looking for a cure is what she's saying, and he became corrupted. And when he was corrupted, he was brought here as punishment.

And she said that he died here, that she killed him. Yes, and that perhaps his death screams are the ones that are still echoing out of that machine. And that's why Suki came out of invisibility with her bow and arrow to try to murder her, and she's still very upset. But she needs to know. She needs to find out if he is here, was here. And she remembers coming back to consciousness, there was a prisoner. There was a prisoner downstairs. Yes, there were two prisoners, as far

as you know. There were two bodies. There was one you spoke to. It was this woman, an Osirian woman that you spoke to, and she talked about how she had given herself over to the knowledge beyond the dark tapestry and would rather die here than

go back. She thought that she could just, like, make friends with these elder gods and that they would choose her as her champion and how wrong she was. And she was like, we got to go. And so you left. And as you were going upstairs, you saw that it looked like one of the other cells was occupied on the northern part of this cell room. But you were trying to sneak upstairs in this invisibility spirit.

You're like, we'll deal with that later. So do you want to deal with that now? Let's deal with it now! But we've healed, right? Like, this was... Yeah, you're... Are we fully healed, Joe? Is that what we're deciding?

We took the time. Fully healed, and Atticus wasn't down that far, so after a couple of treat wounds, he's going to, like, fully rest. So he'll prepare his spells. Oh, so you want your full complement of Johns. Yeah, I want to jawn it up. I don't see why he couldn't, because it's going to take so long

honestly, to get Ethel back up to full and everything, so he can just snooze through that. It's a snooze fest. Let's, um... You want to head downstairs? Yes. Let's change the maps. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Sha-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka- There you are. And there's Pepsi, by the way.

Oh, Pepsi's back. Pepsi was leaning against the wall, smoking a cigarette. Suki picks him up and kisses him on the head. I thought you'd never come. You did so good. You were so brave. Snaps back. He abandoned us, a dirty snake.

Excuse me? He left. He vanished. He abandoned us a dirty snake. Excuse me? He left. He vanished. He was waiting to strike. You don't know how snakes work. No, I don't want to know. If that's indicative of the kind of way that they do

business, I don't want to know anything about it. Pepsi, don't listen to him. She covers his non-existent ears. He's going to smell what I'm saying. He's a low-down dirty... He's a cold-hearted snake. I know, they're all factory ability. You don't play by rules.

What do you guys want to do? I put you on the map hastily. Where would you like to go? Looks like Ethel just belies it. Wait! She runs. With Pepsi. I almost died before we got a chance to talk to you.

Me too! You just run up to this woman and say that? Oh, so it's a lady! No, I make sure to point first. That's very rude. This is what she looks like. She kind of looks like Scarlett Johansson with short black hair and a scar. Whoa.

Scarjo. Do you see Scarjo in there? Scarjo. Right? Okay. Playing the role of Prisoner 2 for the St. Paul matinee, Scarlett Johansson. You see this woman, and she hears you coming and snaps up and looks at you. And she's, like like scared at first,

like she was expecting perhaps someone else. And she says, Who are you? I'm Ethel Merman. Some people take this game seriously. This is like his name. She asks a question. No, like... It's his name. She asked a question. No, no, it's spelled differently.

I'm Suki Oriana Isolde. Do you know a man named Aleric? What? No. No. Who are you? Are you here to hurt me? She's useless to us.

Let's go. No, no, please don't go. Please, please let me out. Why are you in there? I don't know. But just if. No, no, please don't go. Please, please let me out. Why are you in there? I don't know, but if you let me out, I will help you in any way you want. Whatever you need, I'm yours. What's your name?

My name is Calveta Bricks. I'm going to write that down. And you hear that name, Calveta Bricks. Calveta Bricks. Calveta Bricks. And you start to hear the voice of Nestor Bindley. Calveta Bricks! The Huntress! Calveta Bricks. Calveta Bricks. Calveta Bricks. And you start to hear the voice of Nestor Bindley. Calveta Bricks! The Huntress!

Calveta Bricks! Calveta Bricks! Do you know this really, really obnoxious guy? I think his name is Nestor. Nestor Bindley. Nestor Bindley. That tree-huggin' hippie. Yes. Nestor Bindley That tree-hugging hippie Yes Sadly, I know him He's been

Paul up in my business for a while Do you Wait, are you friends with Bindley? I wouldn't go that far If we never saw him again I'd be extremely grateful Whatever he told you about me is not true Or he has it backwards.

He doesn't understand my position. But I shouldn't be here. Why are you here? What's going on? And she's very, like, jumpy. We're here to see this fellow named the Yellow King. I don't know if you know him. The Yellow King, yes.

Yes, he was the most recent arrival. I don't know if you know him. The Yellow King, yes. Yes, he was the most recent arrival and the last one that the Bloody Twins took upstairs. It's strange, though. I never heard his cries. His screams never echoed through these strange walls like everyone else that was taken by them. Sorry, who's the bloody twins? You don't know.

We just got here. These twins, I don't know what they are. They're not human. Wait, are they moonbeasts? No, no, no, no. There is a moonbeast as well, and there's another woman that I also know is not human, but that is just something that I surmise. Perhaps she is, perhaps she isn't. There's something dark in her eyes. And you think

that maybe she's talking about Orsifelius, but she's like these other women. There's something off about them. They look like human women, but there's a darkness in their eyes and their shadows. The shadows that they cast on the walls, even in darkness, seem to move of their own volition. And they come here, and they take the prisoners, and they go upstairs, and then I just hear screams. I hear screams, and they're in my head, and I hear them every night. And she starts rocking. What did I do to deserve this? Why am I here? Do you have an answer to that question?

What? Only you can answer the question as to why you are here. I'm a hunter. That's what I do. I'm a big game hunter. And the game that I hunted before I came here was all throughout the Verdurin Forest. This is why Bengley was all over my shit. I hunted everything. Deer, elk, moose, wild turkey, rabbit, goose, giraffe, buffalo.

What? You just slipped giraffe in there. Did I say deer? I was going along with it, but I don't trust anyone who hunts giraffe. You don't know the giraffe like I do. Ty, you dirty giraffe. The meat goes for a high price.

The problem is there was not enough game in the Verdun forest and too many hunters. So I sought to go out further to find creatures that none of my buyers had ever seen. A seer that I met in the woods one night. A seer that lived in a hut. They taught me the way of dream travel, and so I began ranging in the dreamlands, hunting and killing beasts, the likes of which are not seen in our world.

What the seer failed to mention is that I could not take my prizes back with me, where we are from, but it didn't matter. I was fetching my, I was fetching outrageous prices here in the dreamlands, and so I started a new life here,

a dream life, as it were. And I would have been royalty in this realm. But now I've learned the truth of this place, and I would rather die a pauper in the real world than rule over figments of the imagination. Take me with you, please. Let me out.

I've been working at these bars for days. Let me out and take me home. How were you captured? I don't know. I don't remember. It's all a blur. I was, I was somewhere. The worlds all seem to mix together. You wake up and sometimes you're in a new place. And I was hunting some creature that someone had offered me a bounty for. Now that I think about it, I think it was a trap. I think it was a trap just to bring me here for what I know not. But they're doing some dark things upstairs. I am not guilty. I am not guilty of anything in this world or in ours.

Just let me out. Let me be free. I'm a capable sword. I can help you if you have troubles. Can you treat wounds? Are you a good healer? Do you have a continual recovery feat?

No. Kill her. Please. I have to pause at the hatch. Please. Do not carry the weight. Please. What I don't understand, if you're not from the dreamlands, why can't you wake up yourself?

What do you mean? Why don't you just wake up? You need to spend three actions. Yeah. You just have to succeed. This is merely a will save. No. At least that's how we do it.

I've never done it successfully. They usually kill me first. Unless, can you not awaken voluntarily while in this prison? My memories patchwork at best. But I do remember a time when I first started coming here where I could go back. And then that time ended. There's also a time where I felt like I was the queen over this realm. That this was just some fantasy without consequences.

But I've learned nothing could be further from the truth. For like any world, there are those with power and those without. And those with power can those without. And those with power can do irrevocable damage both to your mind and the body you leave behind in our world. You think you're safe here?

You think you can just wake up at will? No. No. Wait until you look into the face of the power that exists in this realm. They decide your fate, not you. So you never knew a prisoner named Alaric?

For real, stop dodging the question. He might have been in the cell next to you. There was no social mixers here in the prison. All I heard was screams. Perhaps I heard his screams, but no, I never met an alaric. Maybe if you imitate his screams, she might be able to recognize them. Could you do a facsimile sort of impression of each of the screams that you heard while you were imprisoned here? It would have to be screams of pain,

not like screams of ecstasy. It's rough then. It's mostly the other. Five foot nine, curly hair, sort of like a middle range voice, transatlantic accent, very central. This man you speak of, I did see him. The sisters took him upstairs.

Did you just say transatlantic accent? Wrong game. Hi there, my name's Alaric. Hi there. My name's Alaric. You may have seen him in a Billy Wilder movie. You sound just like him. The man you describe was taken upstairs, Billy Wilder movie. You sound just like him.

The man you described was taken upstairs not but two days ago. He had a face and a voice for radio. I miss him so much. I heard his screams. He must have perished, but I don't want to face that fate. Please let me out. Please! Stop. She's grabbing the bars. We turn

around and we huddle. Hey, relax, ma'am. What are you talking about? These sisters she's talking about. Yeah. Have we encountered two beings yet that fit this description? I'm pretty sure they're also dragons, though, right? I think it's something we have not seen. Perhaps lieutenants to this moon beast that rules over the western side of the prison.

But probably also dragons, right? Umbral dragons, that's the vibe. Shadows and all that. Well, if there's two of them, I'm quitting immediately. Well, if we take this one, maybe we could, like, use her. Yeah. Yes.

Oh, yes. Yes. I say we let her go. Let her come with us. No, no, she's our prisoner now. No. What was that? That's how I would frame it. Nothing, nothing, nothing. We're not talking to you.

Eris, while that can be completely true, that is not how we frame it. Right. She wasn't taught to do that. We don't let her know that she's in prison. Yeah, but she totally is our prisoner. I could also just slit her throat and let her wake up. What did you, what did he say?

Nothing, nothing. None of your business. I get the feeling. See throat and let her wake up. What did he say? Nothing, nothing. None of your business. I get the feeling. See, we have the good ideas. Ethel, in all seriousness, I get the feeling that perhaps if she were to die in the dreamlands, she would not wake up. What? No, you can't hear me. I see food in your pack. How do you see that?

You're dreaming. You're in the dream that? You're dreaming. You're the dream lancer, dreaming. So you're saying if I were to slit her throat, she'd be dead dead. I think you would just murder her. I'm concerned that the same could happen to us. What is going on?

Why are you doing this on the bed? Why are you skewing her giant head? He's freaked out by what she said and he's wondering if we cross the plane to this prison the map. Why are you scooting her giant head? He's freaked out by what she said and he's wondering if we cross the plane to this prison. Oh. Yeah, can I roll? If it changed

the rules, basically. And if we, all right, for the audio audience, Troy keeps moving. It's a classic Troy bit. And if you look at it on this screen,

it looks like she's looking past herself. She's like, hey, hey, oh no. The bloody twins. Oh, Ethel buries

this hatchet into her chest. Look into the eyes of the five of clubs. Yeah, Atticus, what are you going to roll? Because I was thinking of rolling dream lore.

What do you want to roll? Oh, dream lore would be perfect. I believe I will roll occultism. I want to know if there's, if she's just... I'm listening. Some people

take this game seriously. I want to know if she is just ranting and raving, or if there's something that maybe we didn't notice or feel, which is that we could not wake up at will while in thisaving, or if there's something that maybe we didn't notice or feel, which is that we could not wake up at will while in this prison. And if that, if it changed the rules once we crossed over into this place.

Yeah, this is the first time you've heard someone say that the rules may work differently than what you understand. That people with power may be able to change everything you thought you knew about the dreamlands. They can craft reality. So you're trying to see if she's full of shit, or if you're... Or if this could be a real possibility that we should think about before... How about an occultism rule? Okay.

That is a 30. You'd never considered it, because in the research, when you look through Lao's books, you look through his chest and you read all the stuff and you and Aldo especially took a ton of time with these books

it never dawned on you but as you start to think you're like why not? Why couldn't there be people with such great power that they could change the rules here?

That death here could That death here could be death there. We cannot think of this so lightly. Dying here, we may not awake on the boat. It may kill us in both places.

Whoa. We almost died. Wait, what? Is it the individual? Or is it the moon? Or the prison? I don't know yet. Some time. We will need some time to research, but I

think it may be the prison. For the listening audience, we're up to nine copies of the face behind. And he's drawn a tiny face on one of the faces. I didn't do that. Like a child. I didn't do that. Like a child. I didn't do that. Who don't know what memes are.

I think that was Sydney by the look on her face. Oh, was it Sydney? I'm so sorry. Have another one. You're wonderful and beautiful and so talented. I don't know what you guys are talking about. I'm just reading the rules. All right, all right, all right.

Rip some more Sauvignon Blanc. We're going to let you out, we think. Thank you. But you promised not to backstab us. Of course not. No, if you are my saviors, I am yours. Shake all our hands. Aeris hands out her hand.

No, you got to shake it. All right, she shakes all of your hands. Okay, she's good. All of your clammy hands. Can you delete her off the map? It's impossible to see anything. Yeah. We open see anything. Yeah. We open the cell.

Yeah, we... An humble dragon appears. We open the cell. I swear to God. Ha ha ha, you fool, she says. Breath weapon. No, she says. Thank you.

Thank you. Get her out of here. It's like a visual novel I am And she starts pacing back and forth I Oh It is so good to stretch my legs

I have been confined to that Five by five foot cell Oh let me just switch around here. I feel alive again. He's rotating her for the listening audience. He's rotating a giant image of her. Oh, she's crawling away. Wow.

Anyway. I have to go. My home planet needs me. Okay. Anyway, yes. Let's get this show on the road. I thank you for helping me. I know that perhaps I don't deserve it,

and maybe you are animal lovers and don't like that I kill. No, we don't care about animals. There is a woman. Excuse me? There is a woman, a few cells over, who's raving about not wanting to return to the real world.

Do you know who this is? Oh, yes, she's crazy. Leave her alone. I kind of liked her. No, no, no. She's stark raving mad She I think has a death wish If you were to let her out

She would kill you before killing herself Alright well let us then make our way to find these Can I do a perception check Just to see if she's telling the truth How about that 18 34 Are we at an 18

Yeah you don't detect any sort of deception with a 34 like she might be holding back a little something but she doesn't have any weapons

on her person but she asks you like could you have a dagger or a sword yeah I got one right here and I slit her throat no I don't.

When you're looking, Ethel, when you're looking, Suki also reminds you, she whispers, she says, remember when we looked in the cubbies and we found that chain that was a magical shirt and a striking magical composite longbow and a thin dagger wrapped in cheetah hide and a sack of trophies of animals? That was

probably hers. And we do have all of that on our person. Bottle cap. Bottle cap. That's how you do it. That's how you do it. That's how you take the game seriously. You come to work and you work.

It's my nose. Which I keep it in. St. Paul's sin. St. Paul's sin. St. Paul's sin. St. Paul's sin.. Paul Sid! St. Paul Sid! St. Paul Sid! Hey, another round of wine shots! Pour yourself, pass it down. Joe, give me your credit card. A round of wine shots for the room.

St. Paul Sid. That's how you do it. That must feel good every time they chant for you. Because that felt, thank you guys, that felt really good. They're the best. Wow. So, Ethel. Minna Joda! Minna Joda!

Minna Joda. Minna Joda! Minna Joda! That's a good one. That is good. I love it. I love it! You guys are the best.

All right, so Ethel receives this knowledge from the huntress. Yes, the huntress. You don't slit her throat. I don't slit her throat. You're looking at me strangely. I do. I'm holding her composite longbow. What do you fear, sir?

I have her longbow. Get down from there. If you could climb down from the ceilings, I'll tell you. Get down from there. If you could climb down from the ceilings, I'll tell you. Climb down from there. I'm just so happy to be out of this cell. Listen, we got your stuff, all right? What stuff? Your stuff.

What stuff? I took one of her trophies. So I shove it in her face. Oh, that's a giraffe. That's a giraffe. But what are you holding back? Good question. Nothing. I just want to get

out of here. Liar! Wow. I'm not lying. Do an intimidate. I would like to roll intimidate. Yeah, nice. And I'll aid. Ow. But say, yeah! Yeah! No.

23. Plus one. 24. All right, listen, listen. Maybe I'm, maybe I seem a little off because I've been in captivity for weeks now. But I promise you, I am yours. As long as you bring me back,

I am done with this place. I'd rather just kill animals in Galarian. I understand. I support that. Let's go. I really don't. Yeah.

Ethel leans over to Alden. I think she's married to that Nestor guy that's what she's not telling her she's embarrassed because he was so damn obnoxious

is that your read is it it's my read yeah I'm pretty good at this I'm pretty good at reading yeah you're very good at reading people I've found

so yeah alright and uh Atticus will lean to Suki and be like, I understand, but let's just let her help us now, and then we can kill her after. She helps us defeat the boss.

Fine. And she tosses the sack of animal trophies at her feet. Oh, my trophies. And she says, if you want these, take them. And if you cross us, that's it. Nothing to say. There's five and a half of you and only one of me. You have nothing to fear.

It's not like you're a herd of giraffes. God. Then I would fear for your life. Evil's not like you're a herd of giraffes. God. Then I would fear for your life. Evil, evil creatures. Whole herd. Thanks. I hear the giraffes pee on each other before mating. There's an awkward silence where no one says.

And? Let's go upstairs. Wait, last question before we go upstairs, though. Yes. Not to you. Yavkev. Who? Not to you.

Oh, sorry. Not talking character. Yavkev. Do we want to let Yavkev know? What are you doing? Should we let Yavkev know that we've opened up the rock passageway? Yeah. I think that would only be polite, given they let us in.

I mean, in case he wants to attack his own brother, which might help us, Arknar. Yeah, yeah. They're not brothers. He was a protege mentor. They're not brothers? Oh, sorry. Thank you. No, I think that seems probably prudent.

Indeed, at this point, why would he not come with us? Help us take out this threat. He wanted to get to the other side, right? He wanted to get to the... He wants to end this threat. Why not help us? Sure. This enemy of his is undoubtedly as powerful as he was,

and when we faced him, we barely made a scratch. Keep in mind, you just released one of his prisoners. Yeah, but he wants to rehabilitate. He doesn't want them to be murdered. Sure. And we can tell him, like, This is like a work release program. Like, we're trying to rehabilitate him. We have ideas. Like, they could

make license plates or, like, something good for the community, right? Become a contributing member of society. We don't have to all go up there. We can just send one person and be like, hey, we opened the gate and then come back down. We don't have to all go up there. We can just send one person and be like, hey, we opened the gate, and then come back down. We don't need to chat. Alright, who goes? I'll go.

Alright, I'll go. I'll go. I can't let you go alone. What? I like that. He shouts at the... He shouts at the ambient music. He shouts at the ambient music. I can handle myself.

I just want to let you know. I've seen it. I believe you. All right, we'll wait here. No one should go anywhere in this prison alone. Let us all just go. We're fine. I think we should let them go think we should let them go alone

I just need some alone time I mean if you really want to come No we're busy We have I actually Atticus, Aldo We have that thing Yeah no

And you should And they should go Aeris doesn't understand any of this And she's just like This is really annoying I'm going Bye Bye Ethel runs out She's like a puppy Good luck Eris doesn't understand any of this, and she's just like, this is really annoying. I'm going. Bye.

Bye. Ethel runs after her like a puppy. Good luck. And so Eris and Ethel go to visit the moon beast. Let's flash to that room. Oh, there's still pee on the floor. That's a rug. That's a rug.

It definitely looks like pee. I see you haven't gained control of your kegel muscles yet. It is a rug. I can't remember his voice. What news of the west side of the prison have you disposed of, Aknar? Not yet. Then why are you here? Well, we did kill the dragon. The dragon? The um the dragon. The dragon?

The umbral dragon. The dragon lady. The lady that's the dragon? Yes, he has powerful allies. I knew an umbral dragon. That is quite a feat. Good. Good.

Where is the rat? I must speak with him immediately. The small-blooded rat bring him to me now summon him forthwith listen he saw the map full of pee and he was like I gotta go yes like a running faucet just seeing a pee rug

alright we update him on the situation and we give him all the all the deets except for the prisoner that we freed no shit All right, we update him on the situation, and we give him all the deets. Except for the prisoner that we freed. No shit. Well, you must do what you must do. But do it quickly.

If Arknar has an humble dragon in his employ. Good. Thank you. There's no doubt he has the other powerful allies as well. Dispose of them. What do you know about these twins?

Twins? The bloody twins they're called. Bloody twins. Moonhacks. Yes. They are. They are moonhacks. They they must be they run rampant

in this realm if he has moon hacks then may the gods be with you do you want to come be with us no okay can you tell us anything about moon hags?

No, you must roll Recall knowledge I'll ask Atticus Atticus run Good day Do not return until you Come with the head of Arknar Then and only then Can you take this yellow king with you.

All right, bye. See ya. All right, we go back. I thought that he would be more happy that we made some progress. It was a little weird that he wasn't happy about the progress. Yeah, like I don't want to do anything for him now. I don't feel inspired.

No. Joe, roll a death save. Did I miss any... He fed you to the moon beasts. Moon hags. The twins are moon hags, apparently. Oh. Yeah.

What are moon hags? Let's do some recall knowledge. Let us do some recall knowledge. Let's see if you can learn. But wait, was there any, like... Yeah, wait, do you guys come back to the group already? What are you talking about? Nothing.

When you guys come back around, the three of us are like... And we're like... Eric, your hair is a little... Your shirt is on backwards. Well, my hair is alive, so... What? My hair is alive. Your hair is alive.

It does interesting things. Does it? What? What? I've seen it in combat, right? Yeah, I've used my hair in combat before. Yeah.

She's quite a fierce combatant. Suki's looking at Atticus mouth agape. Anyway, what do we know about moonhags? And maybe out the corner of your eye, you see one arm that's left on his shoulder just go away. Real quickly.

A little hair arm just sweeps off. Just an eye. Wow. Goes away. So romantic. Recall knowledge on moon hags. And what would that be? Arcana?

Yeah, you could use arcana. You could use occultism as well. You can use whatever you want. It just depends on what you roll and what you choose. Yes! Yes! Yes! 37.

Wow. Nice. Boom. Nice. Boom. Nice. Moonhags. Oh, this is going to be so good. They are pretty nasty. Hold on.

Slow down. Is nasty a trait? Yeah, wait. Let me write that down. Nasty. They do have the nasty trait. Oh, guys, the nasty trait is bad. Wow. Miss Moonhag, if you're nasty.

Just think about Moonhags. They have this ability known as Moonlight's Kiss, which, as long as they're in the light of the full moon, they are quickened, and they get a bonus to their AC and their initiative. which as long as they're in the light of the full moon, they are quickened. Oh. And they get a bonus to their AC and their initiative. So they're a little faster, a little more powerful when they are in the light of the moon.

And here on the moon, they're in the light, baby. Oh. That doesn't make any sense. How does that work? So here it would be rendered completely inert. Yeah. Yeah. There's only Earth light.

And if you're inside... Galarian light. What? Moonlight is just the reflection of the sun off the moon tossed here on Earth. I'm just telling you what you know, man. So we know that they are weak here. Here's what you know. Here's what you know, okay?

Okay. We know that we have to put an asterisk next to this eventual end. You know that when they are in the presence of the moon, which you're on... You said full moon. You said full moon light. By the light of the full moon. Have you ever danced with the devil

on the pale moonlight? I was asked that of all my prey. Here's the thing. This is all you need to know, dummy. When these moon hags are close to the moon, they become more powerful. The closer they are to the moon, the more powerful they are. Okay? All right.

I got a 37. I would like weaknesses, resistances. I want numbers. 37. They have ferocity. Okay? Oh. I don't know what ferocity is in 2E.

Don't Google ferocity. That's cheating. No, it's not. You're cheating. You said I know know if ferocity isn't too Don't google ferocity That's cheating No it's not You're cheating You said I know they have ferocity There are hundreds of people Watching right now While you cheat

Tell me there's one Elemental weakness That they have One vulnerability That they have That we can exploit They do not have Such a vulnerability

Do they have any resistance The streak continues They are immune To the confused condition Okay Alright They do not have such a vulnerability. Do they have any resistance? The streak continues. They are immune to the confused condition. Okay. All right. That's good to know. Okay.

They are spellcasters, but they are also vicious with their claws. And they have a way of shattering your perception of reality, if they so choose, which in a moment can really F you up. They are powerful. Are they experts at their will save? What'd you roll? 37. 37. They're pretty good at will.

Okay. That's all I wanted to know. Thank you. All right. Should we head upstairs? Yes. It's a marvelous night for a moon dance. Scooby-dooby-dooby-dooby-dooby-dooby.

What's this grave back here? Okay. Don't worry about that. So, you go... Is there anything on this map? Yeah. You go back up. Alright, so let's put you all in the torture room. So is there anything on this map? Yeah. You go back up. Go back up. All right. So let's put you all in the torture room. The beds are no longer attacking you, and you see a door to the south.

And that's the only way out of this room. That room that Suki fell into over here to the east, you know, controls the shifting hallway. And we opened it. So, yeah, if you want to shift it back. Hey, you want. So yeah, if you want to shift it back Here, you want to see something cool? You want to shift it? Yeah. Yeah, let's close it. Yafkep isn't going to come over here.

You guys are going to like this, I think. We'll go back to the other map. Ready? Where are we? Are you on the map? So you want to shift the hallway? Yeah. Then watch this. Da-doom. Whoa! Are you on the map? Yeah. All right. So you want to shift the hallway? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Then watch this.

Da-doom. Whoa. Nice. Davy Maps. Davy Maps. Oh, Davy Maps. Troy put a big rock on the map. Yep. Cool.

I shifted those hallways like a motherfucker. Awesome. Okay. There you go. Now you see how you're shifting. Now you can get out easily if you need to. You can go through that hallway to the south and out the Porcula store.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Let's go back upstairs. Back upstairs. Back upstairs. One door leading down. What do you do? Listen at the door. Perception.

Perception is going to be a 30. Nothing. But like a weird nothing. Are we all ready? Ethel says, looking at all of his allies, when they don't immediately respond, he gets a little concerned. Huh?

What? Wait, what? You ready? Yes. Sorry, yes. No. Sorry. What?

No? No. Huntress, are you ready as well? Yes. I'm just not on the map. I'm going to detect magic. So go to the door and then detect magic 30 feet beyond the door and just sort of

Is there anything, any presence of magic Yes And uh Is it uh There are multiple sources No One source Oh interesting Where is it No. One source.

Oh, interesting. Where is it? All on the other side of the wall. Like, you feel this presence. It's like... permeates the next room. Like the room is magical. I'm talking to Joe. So I can't localize it to like A medium sized creature If you really focus in on it It seems to spread throughout the room

Yeah, alright, so he'll explain this There is magic across the entire room You want to go first? In this dreamland No, Ethel, how about I'll pay you a little extra To open that door first Ethel picks up open the door.

Yeah, just go, uh... All right, go. Wait, wait, wait. Where is the Huntress? Where is she? Huntress! You took your eyes off her. She's gone.

She left. Calceta. We love to talk to the Moonbeasts for like 20 minutes. We definitely talk to the moonbeasts for the full 20 minutes. And you lose the huntress? Calveta had her, I mean, Suki had her eyes on Calveta the entire time. So she knows where she is. And she is?

She says, here I am. Oh, there she is. Sorry. Excellent. So sorry, I had to pee. Wait, did we give her any weapons? Yeah, we gave her all of her stuff. We gave her a composite longbow, didn't we?

We gave her a gun. No, I did not give her her composite longbow. I'll stand in the back, gun drawn. Fine. Suki gives her a composite longbow. Oh, thank you. Ah, yes, I use this to hunt puppies. I keep the penetrating arrows, though,

because those weren't from her cubby, and I still have my composite short bow. I need them not. Corgis go down with a straight bolt. Let's go. Wow. Ethel kicks open the door. Oh.

You kick open the door, and you know what you hear? Nothing. Nothing. You don't even hear the sound of the door open. Oh, no. Oh, so we're not going in there. I'll be back here. Best of luck. You see a

stairway to the west. For God's sakes. Stupid-ass computer. Nice job, O'Brien. So angry. Looks like somebody ordered the $1 pickle. Am I right? That's a new expression.

It's definitely a new expression. Looks like somebody ordered the $1 pickle. We all know what that means. We all know what that means. Idiot. All right. Michael, that's the title of this ep the one dollar pickle check that off my task list

alright Ethel will the one dollar pickle you see a staircase leading up and a hallway and as you enter and you look to the west, you see eight barred, windowless metal doors

standing in this grim and silent hall. I try to say, hello. You open your mouth and you guys look at Eris and you just see nothing. Oh no. Ethel, uh... Yes!

All right. Ethel is going to look up this... Step forward again and look up the staircase to see if there's anything waiting to kill us up the stairs. to look up this... You're going to step forward again and look up the staircase to see if there's anything waiting to kill us up the stairs? You look up, and it just turns to the next floor. All right. I'm going to slowly walk from door to door

to see if I see the Yellow King through the barred windows of any of the rooms. You walk to the first door, and there isn't even a pallet or a bucket like there was in the cells downstairs. First cell. Empty. Oh, they're like very small cells. They're very small.

Yes. I just want to say while he's doing this, I'm like right behind him, because if anything happens, I want to be able to be in reach to cast countless eyes on him. Because whenever we start a combat, I'm too far away to do that. Okay. Put yourself right behind Ethel as he looks in the second cell. Empty. Ethel doesn't hear her coming because it's silent. Right. At one point he glances

back and he's like, ah! But you don't hear that. But no one hears it. Third cell. Nothing. Fourth cell. Not even a pallet. Fifth cell. Sixth cell. Nothing. Fourth cell. Not even a pallet. Fifth cell. Sixth cell. Nothing.

Then you get to that last cell. And it's the Yellow King. Oh! Wait, really? Just like that? Yes! Yes! And I imagine it's silent in there, and he's just, like, on the floor.

But you see that yellow robe that's made of, of like the curtains from the Caravanserai. And he just looks up. And sees you. Phenomenal. And like grabs at the bars very limply. Mouthlessly wording Not mouthlessly Soundlessly

Mouthing That would be crazy He has no mouth He has no mouth This place is weird I have no mouth But I must scream Soundless

Thank you Soundlessly just Ethel replies And he says And Pepsi is going Pepsi can smell everything they're saying Oh, Pepsi understands it all, yeah Pepsi's typing away like a court steno

Taking the minutes Is the door openable? Openable Pepsi's typing away like a cork steno. Taking the minutes. Is the door openable? Openable? That's a weird way to ask that question. That's a very strange way to ask that question. Is this your first day on Earth? Is it a lot? What kind of door is this?

We're on the moon, sir. How do they do doors on the moon? Door is mouthless. Does the door open? It does appear that it is openable. However, it's one of those. Obviously it is locked.

Otherwise you would have just left a long time ago. Right. Maybe there's no handle on the inside. Maybe he's just consumed by despair. He never even tried. He's like, I just gave up. Yeah, he's just like, why bother? What's the point? It was all a social experiment.

The doors were unlocked the entire time. They're all open. You made yourself a prisoner. That's right. We don't have any. Don't we have a set of keys? Oh, yes, we do. I call back for the keys

you try every single key that you have yeah no yeah what do you do you mind i'm assuming you mime this is so great for atticus fearfully fearfully like you can see his whiskers like shaking as he steps through the the gateway into this silence because he knows he's as he steps through the gateway into this silence because he knows he's rendered inert. His magic is inert in here, essentially. And he steps through, and he's looking cautiously around. I'll say he's technically avoiding notice. He's trying to be as small as possible.

Hide in the shadows. Stay out of sight of anything. It's just really scary for him. And he'll move down to the end and try the keys that he has that we got from the warden or whatever you keep trying every single key

and nothing opens the door he will attempt to pick the lock give me a thievery check. Can I aid? Please. I aid. It's 20. No, it's time.

He tries again. He tries a third time. Do you want to try and force it open? Oh my god! I rolled 4, 3, 5. This is so ridiculous. The lock... Natural 1!

What is going on?! Joe! The lock... Oh! Get ready for that one! Atticus steps up and ruins the lock. It can never be opened. I try to force the lock.

You want to use athletics to try and force it open? God damn it. Spent a whole skill feed on that. You basically stripped a screw. I'll try again. You just offered new dice or cheese curds? It's unclear. Those smell really good.

They smell really good. 32. 32. Depression eat. 32, no. Over my thievery check. But let's say eventually you get it. Yeah. Okay. Depression eat. 32, no. Over my thievery check. But let's say eventually you get it, okay? After like four or five hours.

Right, go. God damn it. Six or seven mouthless hours pass, and you force open the prison door. Atticus keeps yelling, but no one can hear him. He's yelling, this door is not openable, over and over and over again. It's a word, I just looked it up.

This isn't one of those doors! I know you're familiar with openable doors! This is not one, this is a different kind! Alright, so you kick the door in. Eventually, I force it open. You open the door, and he just kind of falls out onto the ground, because he was very impatient, as it took you five hours to open it. And he falls out into your arms.

Is there a way to dispel this silence? You could try to dispel the silence or you could just walk back into the room. Yeah, we should just walk him back into the room. Yeah, we'll walk him. Yeah, Atticus is going to get out of there as quickly as possible. I throw him over his shoulder

and I carry him to the other side. That actually would be weird, because however long it takes us to do this, like standing in complete, utter silence for the entire length of time that we're doing it, that would fuck me up. That would really freak me out. Yes, yes. That is a very accurate assessment of what it would really feel like. Yeah.

Even the stuff you're doing, you know... You probably hear phantom sounds and stuff like that. freaking out. Yes, yes. That is a very accurate assessment of what it would really feel like. Yeah. Do you hear your own... You probably hear phantom sounds and stuff like that. Like your body's trying to make sounds. But you're doing stuff that you know is making noise and you're hearing nothing. You probably hear your own heartbeat, like when you lay on the pillow, you know, and you can hear it within your head at night. Yeah.

If even that. If even that. Maybe you can't. Suki loves it. Suki was meditating the entire time. Eyes closed. Peaceful. If even that. Maybe you can't. Suki loves it. Suki was meditating the entire time, eyes closed, peaceful. Unhelpful. Yeah, and Atticus finishes this whole nonsense with the Elder King. He's just like, wake up! Wake up! All right, so we get into this other side.

We get into this other side, and he looks like he's wasting away and drawn, and he's kind of like shaking a little bit. And it's this weird moment especially for aldo and atticus because while you have no memory of of what you did for louse or what your real relationship was you there's a part of you that knows that this is a reflection of the real louse a man that you do not pity at all but here is this yellow king, a fragment of Lyle's consciousness, and in this moment I imagine you do feel some pity for what

he's been through, and he's just like he's trying to catch his breath. What do you do? Suki, could you please treat his wounds? Okay. Suki, I don't know if we explained this over and over again,

but he's literally the only thread that moves the story forward. Could you please help us? Is there not any plot armor? What if he died? What if you couldn't get him out? He could not die. Alright. No, but in a non-joking way,

I feel like Atticus is like, he's got like crazy eyes. He's like, we have to talk to him. We have to find out what he knows. It's our only way to find Laos. This is a major kind of plot, like a thread that we're picking up here.

This is something that we've been waiting for, looking for. This is a big, solid lead that we've come across. To finding out what we did and who we are. Yeah, I mean, this is hugely important personally to the two of us. Yeah, Suki doesn't really get that. And...

Wow. Yeah, no. I didn't mean to reply It would mean anything to you Personally Well you want me to do something for you So she pulls her hair behind her head She places her hands on him He gets 13 points of healing

Thank you Whatever What? She's mad about Edric Do you know Aleric? What did you say his name was? Edric? Aleric

What? No What? How did you get here? What happened? He's like rubbing his eyes We flew on a dinosaur Yes, I You flew on a dinosaur. Jakes.

Yes, I... You flew the other dinosaur. The brother. Yes, several days ago. The friend. Brother. I took a nap. It's all a blur, but several days ago,

a group of denizens of Lang, led by a woman named Weirale, raided the caravanserai where I made my home. I was sure that she meant to kill me, but instead she brought me here and abandoned me to the whim of these moonbeasts who apparently have their own troubles here in this godforsaken place.

The moonbeast who rules over this section of the prison, I was brought before him, and he recognized me, or rather he recognized Laos in me, and imprisoned me here in solitary confinement with a bare minimum of food and water, for what reason I know not. I thought for sure

that I would live the rest of my days in that silent cell. And to be honest I think I could have survived the lack of sustenance, but the silence the silence was driving me mad. And he looks a little out of sorts. Yeah, I mean we were in there for like

ten minutes. Yeah, and we're like losing it. Yeah, we almost went insane. You can hear him like listening to his voice and listening to your voices. He's like, Ah! Ah! Ah! Yeah. What? I'm talking real loud like this. Ah! Please

stop hitting me with your voice. The caravanserai, did you go there? Are there still denizens of Lang about? The Caravanserai Did you go there? Are there still denizens of Lang about? We've dispatched Of them There was though a boogeyman Did you happen across this

Charming fellow at all? Boogeyman? I heard a voice, another voice It was one of Weirale's Constituents Because she travelled with many people He seemed loosely aligned of Weirale's constituents, because she traveled with many people. He seemed loosely aligned with Weirale, but also very independent. No, I don't know of his import. But she knew you. She knew you and spoke of you and spoke of your plans to try and find me. She, she, she, I overheard her speaking.

And I think she's been tracking you since you were at Iris Hill. She, she apparently faced you in combat in the crypts below Iris Hill. And you killed her. Wait, that was Ray Raleigh? That's what he's saying. The one who was, like, cutting the body or whatever? Yeah, the body of the royal accuser. But who was that fight?

Who did we think that fight was against? Did we ever have an identity of that? I don't think so. Oh. She said she died in Idris Hill. I heard her say, but these denizens of Leng, they don't actually perish.

They reform on their home plateau. So she reformed on Leng and she has been following you ever since. She sent a boat after you, the blood, bloodstream, the blood. Blood wind. Yes, the blood wind. Bottle cap. No, I've already given you one today. Wait Blood... Bloodwind. Yes. The Bloodwind. Bottlecap.

No, I've already given you one today. Wait, wait, wait. I'm looking at my notes. The Bloodwind. Bottlecap. Yes! Yeah! Nice.

See, Matthew takes good notes. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. The Bloodwind. Yes. She wants you for some reason, and perhaps I'm tied up in all of this, but she is a monstrous creature,

and there is a sickness about her. I don't know what it is, but even in the little time I spent with her, she appeared to be withering before me. A despicable being. Look, I don't know her purpose, and perhaps this will become relevant, but we need to

know how to get to the poet. What's his name? The lost poet? The dead poet? The mad poet. Yeah, the dead poet society. The dead poet society. The dead poet society.

The dead poet society. Has the copy been returned yet? We need to find the Dead Poets Society on VHS. Has the copy been returned yet? Um, we need to, we need urgently to find the mad poet. We have gathered the gifts as you demanded, or as you said we must. You have the gifts.

We have the gifts. We are ready to move forward with this. Then we must return to the caravan, sir, I with all haste. You said you came here on the dinosaur. Yes. Yes, She brought me and another dinosaur. What? You rode on Tonka Marmalade

and we rode on Sybil, their brother and sister. What are you talking about? We rode on Sybil and Sybil is awaiting us, devouring lasagna as we speak. You didn't get to know

your dinosaur? As I made lasagna. He starts screaming. This would be a lot to take in after months of complete silence. Ethelmaid and Izzonia with his mind. Isn't this room screaming? Marmalade.

Yeah, the room is screaming. Oh, yeah. There's Alaric's screams echoing throughout the room. I thought we were going to turn that off by now. You could try to. This Alaric thing is very interesting, actually, because I was just thinking that why wouldn't Atticus be like,

let us go now. We've opened the gate. Flee out the side of the prison. Moonbeast will never know we've gone. We'll run back to Sibyl and fly away from this place to a place where we can wake up. Yes. Yes. Yes.

That sounds just crazy enough to work. There's no reason to stay here any longer. We return to the caravan. There are no loved ones here. You said you brought the gifts. If I can get back there, I can take you to the Mad Poets' Waste. Then we must go.

With all haste! But... A small voice says in the back. With all haste. But. A small voice is in the back. We all slowly turn as one. Yes, Suki? Suki's holding Pepsi. But what if he's alive?

Who? What the hell is wrong with you? We can hear his screams. You don't know that. You don't know that. You never knew him. I hear nothing. What? I don't hear anything.

Listen. There's no one here. Suki, in a way, you have to consider yourself lucky because eventually all relationships turn. They take a turn. Yes, see? And all the things They take a turn. Yeah, see? And all the things you thought were true.

Yeah, exactly. Think of all the pain you've been spared. Look at him. Look at me, Suki. Look at what love has done to me. Look at him.

He is the billboard for the slow fade of love. Yeah. Do you want to end up complaining, making tiny furniture for the rest of your fucking life?. Do you want to end up complaining making tiny furniture for the rest of your fucking life? Wait, I like his tiny furniture.

Is that what you want? No offense, Apple. No offense to you personally. Maybe sometimes being heartbroken can make someone else like you. Yeah. Maybe it's not bad. True or what? Maybe someone will like the tiny furniture or maybe the fact that you're sad. Maybe it's not bad. True or what?

Maybe someone will like the tiny furniture, or maybe the fact that you're sad all the time, Suki. Suki, Suki. What does this have to do with anything? Shut up! It's all so loud. Ethel, I think you are a good man. Oh, thanks.

Aleric was a good man, and he should never have been here. I should have been here. I'm not a good person. Why did they take him and not me? Suki, it's simply not true. And Atticus's head dips down a little bit and he just shakes it slowly back and forth and lifts back up.

Without you, we are not here. Without you, we would be lost. You've spent the last day working tirelessly to bring us all back, to help us get strong again and be able to continue forward. There is nothing for it. I go where you lead.

Suki! Do we stay? If you say we must go deeper into this place and see if this Aleric is alive, then we go. It's as simple as that. We could come back go It's as simple as that We can come back Is it as simple as that? Well he looks around at all of you

And he looks very you know like Shut up She fucking brought you back to life Drop it It's her decision Well no we can come back We owe you this much We have to do this now But we can come back We owe you this much We have to do this now, but we'll come back

We'll brave all of these hazards again And we'll come back to save your love And I want to do a deception check Against what though? Your perception DC So what's your perception? My perception is plus 16 So DC 26.

Okay, I failed. So you know he's full of shit. But you're not being mean. You're just trying to tell her. I'm trying to get us out of here. I think she says, No, we can't. We only got here by chance that Sybil was still there

Atticus you can't follow me you all can't follow me I can't lead you I'm not a leader I'll go where you want to go and she clutches the locket that she found

in Alaric's cubby if we leave we leave, we leave. Great. Motherfucker. He just starts walking away. We gave you a chance. Yeah. And as he's walking, he like slaps Alaric's arm and he's like,

you hear Suki thinks I'm a good guy? How hilarious is that? I wrote it down in my diary. There is one thing. Do we think, and he's keeping his voice low, wondering where the spies are in this place. Do we? But he's in a room full of screaming, tortured voices,

so maybe it's just fine. Yeah, Alaric's tortured voice is echoing throughout the room. Maybe we become a little numb to it, those of us who didn't know him personally. Yeah, you get used to it. Do we believe that this moon beast, what is his name? You two spent 19 minutes and 55 seconds with him earlier. A full 20 minutes.

Yathkev. Yathkev. Do we believe he would be completely unaware if we were to slip away? No, I think he'd be pissed, but maybe we can get out of here in time. I think he'd be very pissed, and I don't know that he wouldn't destroy us. Well, then we opened the door for him.

We took out the dragon. That's more than anyone else would have done. And from what you say, he seemed very unappreciative. He did seem unappreciative. You were right about that, didn't he, Eris? Yeah, he didn't make me want to keep doing this. Um, what are we helping him for?

Yes, exactly. But ultimately, deep down, I feel like not only would our characters think this, but also, there's no way... Suki! As you're all talking, Suki turned into a fly. What are you... She left the room while everyone was arguing,

and she flies down the hallway to see what's there. Suki, no! You can't just keep running into rooms by yourself! No! Just derailing it! Well, I think you're actually back railing it. Literally the last four episodes have ended with you being like, whoops.

I'm going in. I'm a professional cliffhanger. Thank you so much. It's my job. What do I see, Troy? So... He's not ready. He did not think. I'm always ready.

I'm just trying to bring the funny. But it's sad, isn't it? You turn into, you said a fly? A fly. All right, let me find a quick token. Perfect. Yeah, I could turn into an insect. All right.

Pass for him, baby. Turn into a fly. Great. Whoa! What? Oh, my God, I'm hot! Well, there went monetizing the video. God damn it, LaValle.

Just blur it out. I'm hot. I'm a young Jeff Goldblum. Look at me. Man. Let me get you down to token size. Jesus Christ. Man. All right. Let me get you down to token size. We'll just say that that's Suki.

Thank you. I've watched this movie so many times as a kid, and I don't remember seeing his junk like this. There it is. So you... What movie is this? This is The Fly. The Fly? David Cronenberg. You have to yell at me.

That's the back of... Oh, she's never seen any movies, so give her a break. I might watch this one. That's the back of Geena Davis. Oh, thank you. There she is. All right, so you're a fly. I am tiny.

I am a fly. I just want you to... There you go. A little smile. There it is. There it is. There it is. All right, there she is. Woo, here I go.

All right, you got big again. All right, so you buzz off, and you go... Tsuki, no! And Atticus will follow, and he grabs Ethel. Ethel! She flew in there! Go! Go! Atticus!

Ethel, no! And I follow as well. Shit. I take the prisoners, and we all go. You leave? No, we follow. I'm bringing everyone. Yeah, I leave with the yellow king. I don't even like this guy.

I don't even know this guy. Director attention to the map down below. I've never seen the fly. You've never seen the fly. I've never seen The Fly. You've never seen The Fly? I've never seen The Fly. My father saw The Fly.

Any Kids in the Hall fans here? Okay. Oh, that's a minority. Okay. That's actually kind of a shameful minority. I'm still glowing yellow, by the way. Does everyone follow up the stairs? Yes.

Yep. Okay. Matthew says begrudgingly. You see... You turned into a fly. I mean, is Pepsi following? No. Pepsi, because you can't command Pepsi.

Pepsi's gone. Just put her on an arrow and we'll figure it out. All right. Give her to Kelveta. She'll fire her into whatever situation. All right, so. Oh, the old boa constrictor on an arrow trick? I know this one.

They know this one now, because I invented it, and it's dope. All right, so you follow Suki upstairs upstairs and you come to a room where uh suki you see this first because you're a fly that's just going up there you're determined there are metal pipes and horns protruding from the floor in a cluster at the center of the room. And they're all bent in multiple directions, kind of like a Salvador Dali painting.

And there's noise emanating from these horns. And you realize that the machine down below, that sound comes up here into this room, this pipes room. And it's much louder up here. It's a much thicker sound. You see the walls and the walls are carved with maps. Very hyper-realistic maps of the dreamlands as if seen from the vantage point of the moon. But all the carvings are

scratched and smeared with blood. What do you do? Can you show us the map? Yeah, man. Go down. Oh, it's another map. Wait, but can you show us the room? If Suki can see the room?

I'll show you the room. What are we doing here? I'll show you some room. That's a whole room. What are we doing here? I'll show you some room. You want some room? There you go. I want to applaud you for saying room normally. Yeah, wow. He's come a long way, folks.

He's been working a lot. Even at lunch today we were working on it. Everybody shut up. He also says hurricane weird. Oh, yeah. You gonna say it? Hurricane. Her.

Jan gets it. Hurricane. All right, so Suki the fly zips into the room. Ethel, do you follow? Yes. Okay. Ethel follows, and you walk over to the pipes. Is it still, we can hear the pipes now, or it's still, oh, so we can hear.

So we can hear them. Yes. There is a door to the northwest. However, Suki, you fly into the room and everything seems to be fine. The minute Ethel steps in, two figures

materialize. The bloody twins! Ah! First they look just like two women. But then you start to look, Suki, even with your stupid fly eyes. They're normal. They're just normal fly eyes.

Their noses are just too long for their face. Their hair is too scraggly and too crusty. It almost looks like twigs coming out of their head. And there's something about their smiles, because they are both smiling, that are just too wide for their face as blood is dripping out of their mouths. Oh, I don't like this at all! This is fucking awful!

And they see Ethel, and they just ahhh! Roll for initiative. Oh! Baby! Are we going long? Dude. I said,

are we going long? Are we going long? We're going long. So gird your loins, because we're going long. We're going long. We're going long. So gird your loins,

because we're going long. My going long We're going long My man Nick Lowe On the ones and twos What up, Nick? Aldo, what'd you roll? I got a 34 Eris? Fuck

21 But also, the thing where I said I was following Ethel around to do the eyes. That's right. In case something happens. Okay. I stand by that. You want to do those eyes?

I'm going to let you give them those. I'm going to auto give you those eyes. Wow. Because you made it clear that you wanted to do that. Thank you. Thank you. Never say that I'm not a giver. Ethel, what'd you get?

24. Even with the eyes? With the eyes? The eyes are more about seeking and not being able to be flanked. That's why I gave them to you, because they're useless. Suki, what'd you roll? 26. 26. Not too shab.

Atticus, I saw you were angry about your roll. Hot garbage. Mm-hmm. Gonna drink my sorrows away. Yeah. Oh. You just need a wine shot, buddy. All right, so these two. Horrible.

Stop giving us cheese, sir. We have to add it to the rules video. I know, we've got to put that in the video. Don't send fries to the performers. I've got to make a new rules video. I know, we've got to put that in the video. Don't send fries to the performers. I've got to make a new rules video now. Just for the Midwest. So last night, we went out late, Skid and I and Troy, and we had a really good time.

And we had a little too much. Yeah, with Paul Charchin, who's in the crowd tonight. Thank you, Paul. You're the best. We had a little too much. Yeah, with Paul Charchin, who's in the crowd tonight. Thank you, Paul. You're the best. We had a little too much poutine. Oh. Yep. It was so good.

And I woke up in the morning, and I was like, why did I do that? I had the worst nightmares all night. We all. I really did. I had really weird, vivid dreams. We all. I had the beefy, cheesy mac and cheese bowl at the St. Paul Saints game, and it was so good. But I had the weirdest fucking dreams.

And I think it's the cheese. I think you're not supposed to eat cheese on your bed. I didn't have any weird cheese, and I had weird dreams. You had weird dreams, too. I had Bigfoot dreams. How do you guys do it? I had such weird dreams. I had like a Lebowski-style dream where it was all these naked people that were painted like

like their skin with like latex you know like naked people latex painted party and i was like oh this is normal like it was so weird i i shit you not i had a nightmare i had a few different like reoccurring stress dreams i would wake wake up and fall back. Another stress dream. One of them was Joe yelling at me about rules. I kid you not. And like most of my dream was like looking stuff up on

a computer. Like I was like, that can't be right. And I was like Googling in my dream and I was like, fuck, he's right. I had the best night of sleep I've had in months. Round one. Oh, I forgot. We're dancing. Yeah, we're dancing.

We are dancing. Okay. Suki is a fly. The rest of you are bunched up in the hallway along with the Yellow King. You've learned some things about these moon hags. You've learned that they have ferocity. What does that mean? That means that when they go down, they don't go down until they go down, if you know what I mean.

Don't worry about it. They come back to one. You know they're more powerful in the light of the moon. In this enclosed space. Shut up. In this basement. You're on the moon. One of them moves

forward. Oh, they went first. Yep. They rolled a soft 40 initiative. Oh. Oh, jeez. One of them. It's just a lie. One of them rolled a 40.

A 40 initiative. Pathfinder 2E is the Michael Bay of RPGs. I got a 40 initiative. All right, so... Son of a fuck. What do I want to do here? Did you roll on perception? Mm-hmm.

Jesus. Yeah. I'm taking it. It's not silent in this room because we heard the screams. No, we said you heard them. Yeah, it's not silent. Here's what I'm taking it, it's not silent in this room because we heard the screams we said you heard them here's what I'm going to do oh perfect, because they're quickened

they one of them is going to slide up past Suki the fly slide up past Suki the fly and blast a spell. I need a basic fortitude save from,

based on where you're standing, Ethel, Eris, and Atticus. Atticus, give yourself a plus two. Oh. Oh. Question. I know we did the whole, like, you don't start the session with a bottle cap because we were in the same encounter. What about after that encounter? Did we get one?

In our 24 hours of rest, did we get one? In our 24 hours of rest, did we acquire it? In our 24 hours of rest, did we get a bottle, John? Let me just check my notes. Matthew and Sidney have one. For clever play. Yes.

For taking good notes. When you start giving us clever play, you'll get a bottle cap as well It's gonna be a desert Or perhaps some cheese from the front row Alright here we go Fort save Basic fort save

We got this Minnesota Let's rock It's not a good face. This isn't a good face that we're seeing right now. We'll come back to you. Ethel, what'd you roll? I rolled a 37. Wow.

Damn. Calm down, cowboy. What the fuck? What about you, Eris? I got GCP on my die for a natural 20. But that makes it a 36, so your fortitude is crazy. I'm quite fortitudinous. Yeah.

That's not a word. What did you roll? Me? It's not going to be a critical fail, but it might be a fail with these ridiculous creatures In this adventure I rolled a 28 28

Is a fail It just Doesn't make sense Kritz McGee over here takes no damage You and Matthew Take half damage That's not true. Because of my juggernaut ability,

any success on a fortitude save is a critical success. Yeah! Apple! So early Atticus comes. Atticus, you

take 27 points of force damage. Ouch. Damn. Oofta. Oofta. Am I right? Oofta. Ooblot.

Am I right? Ooblot. And at that moment, we flash to the Selen Starling, the boat where all of you conducted this ritual to enter the dreamlands, where you've done it several times now, to project your consciousness into the dreamlands. And as you take that 27

points of force damage from whatever this moon hag did, we see your rat body twitch and blood start to come out of your nose. Yeah, because you can really die here.

I forgot. And we'll see you in Asheville. Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no. Why? Move this path! Move this path! Jay Paul, you guys are

awesome. Thank you so much, Chargis. Farva, you're the best. You're the best. Thank you, guys. We love you guys! We love you guys! We'll be back! Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. He'll be back! Thank you.