The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 79 – Die Me to the Moon

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

With the Yellow King in tow, the heroes attempt to flee the Dreamlands moon. Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/0RO2Gp0l3Ao For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Earn the points. Share the journey. With the TD Aeroplan Visa Infinite Card, earn up to 50,000 Aeroplan points. Conditions apply. Offer ends June 3, 2024. Visit tdaeroplan.com for details. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. get almost almost anything.

Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Good evening! If you're watching this for the first time live tonight, it's probably Thursday, June 8th. However, we are recording this in the past after we just spent an inordinate amount of time together. We know each other's darkest secrets. We really do. That was a long week of social interaction amongst the six of us.

Kate killed a guy. Someone fucking say that. I told you not to say that. I didn't say who or where. It's going to be really hard to track down with no further information. We were all over the country. He was just asking for change. I'll never forget it. Steal this right from Skip. She turned to me and she said, watch this.

She really took care of that guy. Never forget it. Everywhere I go, you need to someone. It's not a Glass Cannon live trip if someone doesn't kill somebody.

Kate specifically doesn't kill somebody. Known murderer. Who's going to die in LA? Tell your friends. Fun week, though. We had a fun week. If you've been watching or

catching up on the pods or the videos, we were in St. Paul and Asheville. We just had a fun week. And if you've been watching or catching up on the pods or the videos, we were in St. Paul and Asheville. We just had a great time. And we really did spend a lot of time together, which was so much fun. And we were lamenting the fact that now a few days after being back, we're still exhausted from these trips. here we are again playing this game and laughing we've been laughing for like eight days straight and I can't stop laughing I can still

hear the laughter you ever laugh so hard you just like don't want to fucking laugh anymore yeah that's why I mean I've always got room for more laughter do you yeah i think so that's that of a guy i think so well we said it i mean uh we laughed i mean not only on mic and during the shows but a whole lot off mic too it was a lot of laughing i lot of laughter really good time at least i did

do you think you get years of your life back um through the power of laughter no any time back it felt like being tickled involuntarily when we were out at that like southern food place really late and you were like really tired oh my god like on another level like it just you wouldn't Oh, my God. That's a crazy stretch. But when we got back. We were not on funny drugs. That's for sure. Yes, not on funny drugs. But we were laughing so hard. And then when Kate and I got back to the hotel, we were like laughing, walking down the hallway. We got into our room like giggling.

And then we found out that Matthew and Skid were directly below us. The room like directly below us. Matthew and Skid were directly below us, the room like directly below us. And me and Kate, obviously screaming in our room, just go, do you think Matthew can hear us? And then we started running around the room, stomping around the room, like cackling, laughing. It was so late. We just get a text from Matthew, a very somber text that goes, yes, I can hear you. Dying laughing. We just started cackling.

It was too much fun. Too much fun. That hotel was really great, but it had no windows that opened to the outside. Oh, yeah. So every room opened into the center. It was a very weird thing. So every room opened to the center

because at the front desk, I got there first. And she was like, would you prefer a lower floor or a higher floor? And I was like, give me the higher floor. Like, I want to see the sights. And I got up to the top floor, like top floor and just like shunk. And it was just like the elevator I had just walked out of. This just points directly back into the building. What is the point of being out there? I think it was a historical building, so

it was very cool. It was a very cool building. It was an old thresher company, but they didn't have any out. It was a warehouse, so they didn't really have any windows facing outwards. I could hear you especially well as your shouts and murmurs echoed down the center atrium, as could

everyone else in the hotel. They knew we were having fun. It was a good time. as your shouts and murmurs echoed down the center atrium, as could everyone else in the hotel. Well, good. They knew we were having fun. It was a good time. But now the fun is over, because we are back to playing remotely. It's right. However. It's just not as good.

It's just not as good. The reason I bring it up is this could very well be the last remote playing of Strange Aeons for a long time. Because after tonight, it is returning to just being a tour show. I can't believe you said that out loud. I said it out loud. Because it's a lot. It's just returning to a tour show because it's time.

We have to switch gears. Gatewalkers is not coming next week. is Gatewalkers is not coming next week. We have some other plans for the weeks leading up to the release of the new Last Cannon podcast. But as we are shifting gears, we need to fully focus on that and then have Strange Aeons remain the tour show. Now, that doesn't mean there might not be

some marathons down the line. We always had fun. I mean, some of the best shows we ever did were those three days in a row, eight-hour Strange Ion shifts. But the plan right now is for Strange Ions to go back to the tour as we gear up for the release of the new show. And we gear up for recording in the same room together all the time. All the time. Every single day.

Very excited. Every single day. Kate has quit her job, as has Sydney, and Matthew has retired. I don't even live in my house anymore. I moved into the studio. Yep. Kate and I now have little bunk beds at the studio. And you're banging on the floor, yelling at the businesses below us.

Yeah. Begging on the floor. Can you hear us? Hey, please stop. This is a library. hear us. Please stop. This is a library.

I feel like I just got used to understanding how to play my character and now we're only going to play every once in a while. I'm going to forget again. You'll forget everything between every show. Maybe I'll die. Speaking of which, that was one of the really cool things about the marathons. Even though they were remote,

remoteness at that time was also a novelty, right? So like we were always playing it together. So playing it remote, you know, gave us something new to do. So that was kind of fun. But then also playing for like four or five hours at a time, like two days in a row, you remember so much story. You remember so much detail. You're so in the zone of your character. We had so much fun doing that. I'm sure there's going to be more Strange Adds marathons in our future. Was that book two that we opened? Yeah, because it was like COVID. We did three days straight of book two. I mean, my God, my father's Mr. Toots came out of that. That was that whole weekend.

That wasn't even Extra Life. That was like an August thing we did. Yeah, it was in August. that wasn't even Extra Life. That was like an August thing we did. Yeah, it was in August. So, you know, they're always fun to do. I'm not making any promises, but the next show after this will be live in Los Angeles, the Terragram Ballroom.

And then two days later, we're practically sold out in Seattle at the Triple Door. And then after that, it's Gen Con. And then all the rest of the shows that we will announce. So Strange Aeons is not going anywhere. It's just not going to be a weekly show on Twitch for the foreseeable future as we gear up for the new Glass Cannon podcast. But let's talk about tonight's ep because I'm wasting air time bullshitting here.

A lot went down in the Twin Cities and especially Asheville. I just want to do a quick recap. Very, very quick. So, you've been exploring the Lunar Prison.

You're looking for the Yellow King. Well, turns out the Yellow King is in solitary confinement on the second floor of the western portion of this Lunar Prison.

So, after you dispatch with Orsefellius, this janitor slash umbral dragon slash torture machine creator, you start searching around, and you find the solitary confinement room where the Yellow King is. And he explains to you that a denizen of Leng named Weyrale came into the Caravanserai and abducted him. Abducted him with a bunch of denizens of Leng. And you know this, when you came to the Caravanserai,

you killed like six of them. Abducted him, took him to the moon, and then left. And that she knows you all, or certainly Atticus and Aldo, and has been following you ever since you killed her in the crypts below Iris Hill. Of course, Deniz is of Leng. When they die, their bodies just reform on Leng. It seems that she also sent the Bloodwind after you,

that boat with Captain Vodrak when you were looking for the tricorn hat, as one of the gifts for the mad poet. So she's after you. Why? You don't know. How does she know you? You don't know. But the Yellow King is like, we got to go.

But Suki is like, something's not right here. My long lost love. I thought he was dead. It seems like he maybe did something to try and prolong his life by projecting his consciousness to the dreamlands and then got imprisoned. You don't really know what's going on, but it seems like he was imprisoned here, or his unconscious

mind was imprisoned here, and he was tortured to death. And his screams now echo through the chambers of the western half of the lunar prison through this strange torture device. So, seeking answers, you turn into a fly, you go upstairs, and you run straight into these twin moon hags.

Now, you found out about these moon hags because on the first floor of the western side of the prison are a bunch of cells. One had a crazy woman in it. The other had an equally crazy woman, but someone that you've heard about, Calveta Bricks, a big game hunter from Galarian, who got tired of chasing game in the Verdun forest and instead went to the Dreamlands

to fight crazy Dreamlands gang, kill them, and fetch prices. But she did something that got her in prison. She's like, just save me, please. These twin hags, they're taking people upstairs. They're torturing them. Save me. And you're like, all right, come on.

The fight begins. She takes off. The moon hags blast you with this psychic energy that we flash to the boat and we see Atticus twitching, blood coming out of his nose. As the fight goes on, we see Suki twitching, blood coming out of Ethel's ears. Every time you're being hit, your bodies are now being affected on the boat. Is that something

about the lunar prison that's doing that? Is it something about the moon hags? Is it something about Arknar, the moon beast that is taking over the prison? You don't know. But Calveta Bricks was the first one that put it in your head that like, things don't work the way you think they work all the time. So you don't know. You defeat the moon hacks and you're like, we got to get out of here, but there's still one more door we got to check. So you go in there, it's empty, musical instruments hanging everywhere. And you're ready to just call it quits, but you detect magic, a magical signature that you can't quite place. You look on the wall. There's no instrument radiating magic. You realize it's the wall itself.

The wall is an illusion. The wall has been hollowed out so that you could just float away. What does this mean? Who knows? You get the hell out of there. As you're running away, you see a blood splatter on the ground. Some of you realize, oh, that blood splatter is Kelveta Bricks.

Looks like she didn't get very far. Then Yathkef, the moon beast that you made a deal with. You met him on the eastern side. He's the original warden. It's like, listen, you want the Yellow King? Kill Arknar. You can have the Yellow King, and I'll throw in a set of steak knives. But instead, you just try to abscond with the Yellow King. Kill Arknar, you can have the Yellow King, and I'll throw in a set of steak knives.

But instead, you just try to abscond with the Yellow King. So now you're like, great, now we gotta fight Yathkep again. All of a sudden, Yathkep stands up, splits in half, and Arknar, the other moon beast, appears, playing the moon saxophone.

He goes on to tell you, first of all, thank you. Thank you for luring this idiot Yathkef out, because now they're dead, and I can take over the prison. So thank you for that. Also, I need my two prisoners back. Two prisoners?

What are you talking about, Ardor? We just met! The Yellow King and Eris. What? Oh, look at Eris. Eris didn't know what's going on. He explains. Doesn't she? Doesn't she?

Roll a bluff. Arknar explains that they would often, the moonhags and themselves, they would range around the world looking for possible prisoners. And one of these ranging trips took them to Sarnath, the city that was destroyed when Bokrog rose from the deep to try and take the doom idol of Ib. Remember that whole thing? And while searching the ashes, they find a perfectly undecomposed body.

Eris. For Eris died there, as did most of you. They cast Talking Corpse and find out that Eris did some horrible things. Back in Galarian, experimented with magic and got trapped in the Dreamlands.

They're like, awesome, you're coming with us. Throw her in the lunar prison and then all of a sudden she disappears. All that's left behind are planks of wood from a boat and the skeletal remains

of a human man. And then the saxophone music kicks in. And here we are. Roll for initiative. Oh, Jesus. We don't get to talk. There's no...

The time for talking is over. It's been five days since Asheville, and I have not received a single text. If you want to talk, call me on my day off. You're not going to pick up. That's so true. Aldo, what did you get?

I got a 19. 19 for Aldo. Atticus? 28. 28. Suki? 26. Eris?

23. 23. Ethel 27 I read this recently and I might be misremembering it But when the enemy Ties the initiative to the PC The enemy always goes first

And when the PCs tie, the PCs decide Who goes first Of course this is just a rule, you can change it And I might be misremembering it. Let's talk about the stakes here. Not that boneless rib eye I have in my freezer. The real stakes.

You need to get out of here with the Yellow King. You've got to get the Yellow King back to the Caravanserai. You can't just wake up and expect him to go with you. That's not how it works. Maybe you can just wake

up, though, if you can ensure he has a way of getting out. I would even say, uh... I would even say, yeah, at the beginning of the fight, maybe he's like, oh, you said that Shantok's still here. Perhaps I can run to the landing pad.

I remember the way when Ray Raleigh brought me in. I can run there and I could maybe take it back to the Caravan Sarai if it will listen to my pleas. And then you can either destroy this thing, wake up on your own, or even die in its hands. Then either way, meet me back at the caravanserai, and then together, I will take you to the Mad Poet's Oasis. What say you? Should I run? Somebody take the yellow guy. I'll hold off the moon beast.

Yes, but wait. Wait a moment. Alternatively, I could take the yellow guy, and you could hold off the moon beast. You decide. When I say go, run. You say it to Ethel? No, I say it to the yellow king. All right. Yes. Good luck.

And when it's his turn, he may very well run. Someone should go with him. I'm sorry. I thought we if we died here now we would die for real and that we can't wake up from here. We don't 100% know yet.

We know that in the prison that was the case. Maybe when we get out the walls it's different. We don't know for 100%. It's possible if you're on the moon and die, you permanently die. We just don't really know. But I feel an atticus feels i always feel this way though uh so tell me to shut up they're like we can't beat this guy

i think the whole objective here is to escape with the yellow king yeah metagaming wise yeah i mean i think we're even not metagaming we got our asses handed to us by the last moonbeast. Yeah, and he just emerged from his brother. And he also called Yathkev an idiot, and that idiot whooped our butts. Yeah, whooped our butts. And, you know, speaking for Atticus right now, remember, he is stupefied

and is flat-checking every single spell. So it's just... It's horrifying. I really wish I could put up a meat wall right now so that we could run. Me too. But I'm all out of meat walls. Yep, I'm out of my best spells too.

Because it's just like- Who are you? I don't think we have time for this. I'm here to kick ass and put up meat walls. And I'm all out of meat walls. Well, this is a difficult thing because I mean I was thinking about this I mean from Aldo's point of view

With the evidence we have She killed my best friend Yeah So what am I supposed to do In this moment Or so the moon beast would have us believe But I mean that's the best evidence that I have right now So Right Yeah But I mean, that's the best evidence that I have right now.

So, right? Yeah, but I mean, yeah. You got to do you. But in the heat of the moment, this thing's going to try to kill us, I think. Yeah. This is tricky. Going back to what Skid said, you don't know this information that Kel Vitterbricks gave you. You don't even know the cutaway scene that I gave you, that Atticus' nose was bleeding and Ethel's ears were bleeding.

You can use that information however you want. If you want a metagame, play that. All you know is that the seed has been planted in you, that maybe the rules are different, but you don't know why. Is it being within the walls of the Lunar Prison? Is it being on the moon? Is it just against certain enemies? Is it a magic

that permeates certain areas? You're not sure. However, can you run? Let's go to the map. Let's go to the map like adults and see what we can do here. Oh, same map. Same map. You're running away.

Let's take a look at old Arknar. Oh, my God. We have a head start. He looks nice and friendly in this picture. Just like a little guy. So Arknar's crushing Baker Street? See, I thought this was actually a joke, but now apparently Arknar is a bard. Yeah.

Oh, which is probably really dangerous for us. Yeah. Actually. He says, any requests is probably really dangerous for us. Oh, yeah. Actually. He says, any requests? Yeah, leave us alone. I know Baker Street. It's funny because Yavkev looked so intimidating, and yet he was the one who was much nicer and softer,

and Arknar is playing a beautiful instrument, and he's like, it's even scarier. He's like, I'm going to murder you in cold blood. Yeah, I could easily switch these pods. Only one came to the book. You know what he looks like, Troy? He's a complete monster, obviously. And not human at all.

But I get, like, Sigmeyer of Katarina vibes from him. There is a bit of on-the-onion night in the middle. Where you're kind of like, this guy's harmless. Like, he's so sweet. He's just sitting there playing his sax.

You know, if this was, if we met him first and didn't know he was an enemy, we'd be like, oh, cool. And then he'd just like slay us because we'd let our defenses down, I think.

I like to think that his tentacled head is like a hand that can open up and it's just a horror underneath there. Yeah. It's like horrible nightmares.

I'm forgetting now because it was a long trip, but did we compare him to the keyboard player at Jabba's Palace? We did, and we misnamed him, I think. I saw. Did you get a text from Rob Kirkavich? No, I didn't. Is he like, I'm out on Star Wars. Are you thinking Max Rebo?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember who he said. The Max Rebo band. Was it Droopy McCool? He was one of the... Wait, yes, it is.

Droopy McCool. The flautist. Sounds like you're just making things up right now. You're just making that up. It does sound like I'm making that up. That's what every name that George Lucas made up, that's what it fucking sounds like. Droopy McCool.

From the mind of famed writer George Lucas. He's a big bearded baby. Look up, I can't put a Star Wars image up on screen, so just Google Droopy McCool, and that's exactly what this thing looks like. Question. Yes. How far away is our moon beast?

He's the oboe player of the Max Rebo band, not the keyboard player. Max Rebo is the keyboard player. Sorry, I apologize. It used to be Droopy McCool and the Koolettes. The tiniest woodwind. I Googled it, and you guys are right. How far away is the moon beast

that Yellow King wants to run to to and what does Arknar... Arknar! What does he want? Wait, so what you're asking is how far is the Shantok from the Yellow King? I would say he's about 500 feet away or so. Maybe more. I think it was like a... For some reason I feel like it was a mile.

I'll look it up. Do we have to, sorry, go ahead. What does Arknar, I keep wanting to say it in an Australian accent, Arnar, what does he want? Does he just want to kill us

or does he want like his prisoners? He wants his prisoners and we can't let him have them. We just can't. Yeah, he wants you and the Yellow King back, but also like, it doesn't seem like he's going to be like, all right, thank you. We made a good trade.

Enjoy life off of the moon. Yeah, I mean, you would do what you want to do, Aras. If you're like, I'll turn myself in to save my friends, feel free. But I get the sense that we have to take the Yellow King with us. So we're stuck. We're locked in. Yellow King with us. So like we're stuck. We're locked in. Does the Yellow King have to run

past Arknar to get to the flying dinosaur? No, it's behind us. If you let the Yellow King go and the Yellow King can talk Sybil into flying him, then you've just got to stand and defeat this thing. And the Yellow King may be

able to get away. And then if you can wake up, if he's able to take away. And then if you can wake up, if he's able to take the Shantak and you wake up and come back to the Caravanserai, hopefully he'll be there. Yeah. That's what he's telling you. But, you know, it's tricky. All right.

I think it makes the most sense. Yeah. If someone can go with him, make sure, you know, he doesn't try any funny business. I would volunteer, but I don't think you want me to. I really don't think it matters. I truly don't think he's, I never got a vibe of like deceit or like, he's just like, he's like a, a fraction of a consciousness.

You know what I mean? Like he kind of only exists to give you this information. Like he's not really a self-thinking politician or something that could turn on us. The landing pad is a mile away. All right. Suki just says to the Elking, when you get to Sibyl, just mention that you know Tonka Marmalade. She should understand and take you back. Also, the impossible lasagna.

He gives you a knowing thumbs up. A knowing thumbs up. I don't think he knows. Are we ready to dance or what? It's time to dance and for the first time in the history of not only the show but the network Joe goes first.

Wait, really? Is it the first time? Yes! It always feels like it. As soon as he said the enemy ties I was like, you tied me. Well, look at that. You tied me. Okay. Obviously, there's a lot of things to do here.

I'm not 100% sure what is right, so I'm just going to do role-playing-wise, and I don't feel like the Yellow King, he's the most valuable, and I don't think he can just get away. I feel like this guy's going to prioritize the yellow king so atticus when he says wait until i say atticus is going to reach into his belt draw out a wand and he just whips it around and touches the yellow king and makes him invisible he casts invisibility oh shit okay all Very cool. And then he's like, no, go, run! Joseph Marie O'Brien. Sneaky.

That was a clutch, a nish. Yeah. Holy crap. All right, so the Yellow King is invisible. Okay. Wand, two actions to John. Wand, two actions to John, and that gives him that for 10 minutes. So he... He has to go to a pretty good jog.

As long as he's jogging, he should be alright. As long as he's jogging and the ground's relatively flat. He hasn't eaten in weeks. I'm sure he'll have the energy. I can do this! Can you run to a ten minute mile, Yellow King, on no food and complete silence? Silence torture?

I will say you all have a bottle cap to start the session. Yay! Thanks, good buddy. The show still follows the old ways. So mean. Ethel, you are up. And I

am excited. Okay, Ethel is going to stride up to this guy. Ethel, I mean, seriously for just a mercenary, is so willing to put himself at risk. Just real bold character. There's nothing to live for. I also really care about my Yelp review. Please don't rate me one star on Google.

Okay, double slice. Okay, double slice. Okay, so that's going to be no natural 20s, sadly. Oh, man, that would end this. That's going to be a 38 on the Warhammer and a 29 on the Scimitar. That is going to be a hit and a miss. 29 is a miss. You heard it here first, folks.

Okay. That'll be 17 points of damage from the Warhammer. Okay. And what type of damage is that? That's bludgeoning? Bludgeoning. Perfect. It appears that all goes through.

All right. They have DR. I forgot all the things we learned. They're immune to cold. I'm 90% sure. Yes, you used a cone of cold, I believe. Which is the only one I didn't use in the bloody twin combat. So have that ready.

You need some sort of magical thing that allows you to change your spell at the last moment. I have a magical thing that allows me to change your spell at the last moment. I have a magical thing that allows me to change my spells with a 10-minute jawn. So you just need 10 minutes and I can swap prepared spells, but not in the middle of a combat. Well, just go jog with the old king and then come back. You know, the thing is, I probably would have done it, actually. Like, after the other fight, I would have taken 10 minutes and been like, we know that we're only up against this guy. I should get rid of Kona Colt.

But I just wasn't thinking at the time. But, like, that's totally the perfect time to use it. It is now Suki's turn. Okay. Suki is going to move. Oh, come on, Suki. Suki. Save yourself, Suki. Suki. Roll 20 is just being so slow. Hold on. Going to move... Oh, come on, Sook! Sook! Save yourself, Sookie.

Sookie! Roll 20 is just being so slow. Hold on, I'm moving myself over. Oh, God, it's so slow. Sorry, 30 feet. Don't worry about it. And then she is going to cast... So she's not directly behind Ethel.

She's going to cast Hydraulic Torrent, which is a line spell. Nice. So I'm just making sure nobody's in my way. Okay. And you have to make a Fortitude save. A Fortitude save, you say? Let me get my old neon green. This is magic, so I get a little bone to that.

Ooh, not a great roll, but he does have high for it. That's going to be a 28. Okay. That passes. So you'll take half damage, and you're not knocked. I was trying to knock you back five feet. So if you failed, you would be knocked back. Okay.

I'm going to roll that sweet dam. Hydraulic what is it? Torrent. Hydraulic torrent. That's cool. Oh, wait. Sorry, I'm rolling the wrong dice. It's 8d6. I'm just going to do it on theraulic torrent. That's cool. Oh wait, sorry. I'm rolling the wrong dice. It's 8d6. I'm just going to do it on the computer.

Oof! 8d6 bludgeoning down. Another bludgeoning. That's so good. Alright, so you're going to take 10. Only 10. Half of 20. Okay, hey. A little bit adds up.

Ethel's getting a little wet. That's my whole turn. That's a two-action John. Did you just say Ethel's getting a little wet? Ethel gets a little wet. Ethel gets a little wet. That's interesting. From the water.

I really thought you... Oh, how the turntables. I guess Eris is out of the picture now because she's evil and bad, and maybe Suki's stepping up. You know what they say. How the turntables. So real quick, I just wanted to mention that I believe that even using a wand, you're still stupefied and probably have to roll a flat check.

Even with a wand. Really? So I rolled it and I rolled a natural 16. But just I forgot to do that for the record. That would have been very Joe. He's invisible. Are you the only one stupefied? No, I'm stupefied as well. Okay. I thought you were being body.

I forgot it was hydraulic push. Oh, yeah. My apologies. Alright, it is... I mean, I was being a little body. A little body. You knew what you were doing. Sue, are you done? Yes, that's it. Okay. Yathkev. Takes a what you were doing. Suhi, are you done? Yes, that's it. Okay. Yathkev. Takes a five foot step back. Also known as a step.

Do you mean Arknar? I'm sorry, did I say Yathkev? I'm so confused. You owe an apology to Yathkev's memory. Yathkev's memory. I'm sorry, Yathkev. On Yathkev. A little squish sound. And remember, these things are like floating right above the ground.

Before you email me, it's not fly. So take your hover checks. Shove them up your hydraulic turret. Really? Yep. They just hover automatically all the time? Don't worry about it. Here's what he's going to do.

He's going to cast a little spell on Eris. Give me a will save. Okay. Alright, this is fine. You hear that sound echoing? I'm using my hero points. I rolled a natural one. Oh no.

That's a good time to use a hero point. Alright. Alright. 25. That's a fail You are Cool cool cool Dominated Oh no

Oh no Oh my Oh no Where is that in here And very simply It's just a regular success Just a regular Regular fail

Regular fail yes So you control the target It gains the controlled condition But it can attempt a will save At the end of each Of its turns On a success, critical or otherwise. The spell ends.

However, right now, he tells you. The turn to the cells. Dammit! Oh, no. Dammit! No! Oh, man. Hey, you know what?

Aldo's not gonna have to worry about it She'll just be in prison for the rest of her life So you will need to Use all of your actions to move In the direction of the cells He's pointing right towards the portcullis in the front door But you do get a new save at the end of your turn So get one save off

And you'll live forever Alright so awesome That was my turn Easier said than done though So get one save off and you'll live forever. All right. So awesome. That was my turn. Easier said than done, though. It's great having it every turn, but this thing's going to have a high DC. That's tough, man. It's tough.

That's the worst thing. No, I mean, it happened when I was the bear. Remember, he made me go look for honey for an entire combat. It's just so infuriating. And you went for like half a round. Yeah, it actually wasn't that bad. That was, to be fair, two episodes. Yeah, that's true.

That's a good point. All right, well, oddly enough, it is Eris's turn. Eris, I imagine this feeling of like just, what does domination, what would that feel like in real life? Like you know this is the wrong thing. Is it part of you is like, am I doing this or you're just like I need to go back to the cells

it must be like maybe also when you wake up with like sleep paralysis where like you or your brains there but you can't move your body but in this case your body is moving you know oh it's horrible yeah I feel like you are semi aware that's why you keep rolling that will save to like

shake it off. You know what I would say? With only your body in charge and your mind not quite there, I would say you'd probably take a really stupid way back to the prison. Like, kind of up and back over this way and then sag it back. And end up where you started. Maybe he doesn't understand my appendages because I am a flesh wart. I need a new group to play with.

Poking holes. You try to walk through the portcullis over and over again and you just can't. Just walk into the guard house and be like, I can't seem to get past this. Is this the prison? Alright, Aris. I will ping a door for you. Here, this is the door. So I'm using my three actions. I will ping a door for you here. This is the door.

So I'm using my three actions each time to just move 25 feet. Yes, that's what he would like you to do. Eris, no! Wrong way! Don't get close! All right. Now, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25. 25.

Or no, I have to use an action to open the door, right? Oh! Door's closed. Did you guys close it behind you? I think we did We didn't come out that way, we came out the invisible wall You know what, percentile dive, 51 or higher Wait, isn't it a portcullis? It's a portcullis

No, but there was a door on the interior of the portcullis Let's see if it's closed Put myself back there 51 or higher I rolled a nine That door's wide open Also, Yathkev just seemingly came out of that door. 25.

And then you want me to go straight and then take a left down the hall? That's up to you. This is where you can have some fun. But yeah, you want to go in the direction, if you see where I'm pinging, now that the hallway has shifted, you can go. Actually, I think, Troy, this is different than charm in that, I mean, you really are are you're being controlled like a robot rather than you believe that you are the friend of whoever was the cast of spells so I would think it's really up to you Troy yeah

unfortunately we'll take the south passage all right 25 there I am so I made it all the way into the hallway deep into the prison and now I get to roll another will save I'm like no no this isn't where I want to go I want to help

my friends I don't want to be in prison that's a good point Skid yeah it's not charm fail okay it's alright alright so what do you mean that's alright this is a terrible situation

I definitely am going to die in here. Not if Aldo has anything to say about it. Also, on the plus side, the prison is currently unstaffed, as far as we know. So it can't be that bad, right? Yeah, like if you did wipe out everybody in there, and thank God you did, what if you left those moon hags? Then, yeah, it's not like she's gonna walk into another fight um but now

it sort of forces your hand to either kill the moon beast or leave Eris to die which is probably what Aldo wants to do Aldo what's going through your head yeah this is the thing I was so kind of I didn't really process this at the end of the Ashville

show I was just like oh wait that's the implication is that she is responsible for the death of my best friend so now it's like there's this at least a strong possibility that this is true because we don't really know her anyway and all that apart from her being allied to sympathetic to our cause she's showed herself to be a objectively evil person in a lot of different ways so this is surely this is a possibility and i am i'm aldo's really torn on how to feel right now there's an immediate danger so uh he's just going to try to kill the saxophone player, as any of us would do in this situation. First, I'm going to use my amulet of the occult to cast Guidance on myself.

And I'm going to move to the east a little bit to give myself a little better angle. And then I'm going to attempt to hit it with my last bottle of lightning. There we go. Nice, Aldo. That's a 34 to hit. Oh, that'll do. All right. Man.

Okay. Okay, so that's 11 points of damage, and they are flat-footed until the beginning of my next turn. All right, that's huge. Get the vessel in there! Hugely helpful. Yeah, I mean, wow, what a difference. You have to.

You have to make this thing flat-footed. To even have a chance. Alright, it's at that moment that, Atticus, you feel a brushing against your arm. The Yellow King's like, Godspeed! Plural. And he pushes off. He says plural? Godspeed!

Plural. Because there are many gods in this world. You've got to be non-denominational in this situation. You don't know was it godspeed comma plural get out of here you dirty methodist there's a nasty divorce happening in the in the methodist church right now i don't know if you is there yeah a divorce between oomps. The two different sects of the United Methodist Church. They're disuniting. And I don't know

the details. Drama! Sounds messy. I'm going to Google the details during this break. I'm taking sides. Who gets what friends? Who gets the Episcopalians? Who gets Thomas? Who gets Paul?

Hey everybody. Skids. I'm interrupting your program here to give a quick shout out to our sponsors over at Dauntless Snacks. Our friend Jay over at Dauntless claims he was inspired by the Glass Cannon's small business

model to start his own snack company by gamers for gamers dauntless snacks is a snack company dedicated to serving all gamers streamers dreamers and creators out there it is a delicious protein snack when and where you need it i can attest to this it is delicious 100 grass-fed beef stick without the greasy taste you get with other brands and you know i'm a colorado guy jay's's a Colorado guy at 1% of 2023 website sales is being donated to Children's Hospital Colorado this year, which is also my charity, just saying. And we've got new flavors coming. We've got honey barbecue, mango habanero, and teriyaki all set to launch later this year. So big shout out to Jay

over at Dauntless Snacks. Please support them the way that they are supporting us. We're back from the break. And I Googled nothing. I learned nothing. It's round two and it's Atticus' turn. Smooth combat so far. Everything's moving fast.

Moving fast. Atticus is going to begin moving away. Oh. Just in case he can escape this alive. And he's not saying it out loud, but he's just thinking, like,

fall back, Aldo. Fall back. Just in case. Eris, he doesn't know what He's just thinking, like, fall back, Aldo. Fall back. Just in case. Eris, he doesn't know what Eris is doing. He assumes she's under some kind of mind control. He doesn't know. He assumes the creature's doing it as, like, a... It would be a great warden spell to have, wouldn't it? Like, escape prisoners just turn around and walk back.

You know, like, so it makes sense. And he's just like, I have to save Aldo. He's going to see what that lightning did. It seemed to hurt it, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. God damn it. Well, he'll try to cast it.

Oh, boy. Heightened. Oh, no. You do have a bottle cap. Yeah! Pulls in the chargey charge of all this lightning energy. It starts crackling around them, and then he fires a line of lightning bolt into the creature.

Flat check. Natty 11. And now I need a reflex save, which, you know, is... My DC is lowered because of the stupefied, so I'm terrified. It's a good roll 36

That is critical success Fucking Jesus Okay That's what Methodists said That's Methodist talk That's Methodist talk And I won't have it at my table Good round Ethel, you're up talk. This is Methodist talk. And I won't have it at my table.

Good round. Ethel, you're up. I imagine you're processing this whole Eris situation as well. I mean, yes, but then Ethel has no relationship to Halster whatsoever. He's heard of them talk about him, and maybe

he knew he was... I'm trying to remember if Halster was still in the cell when Ethel came aboard. But, I mean, Aeris is a very confusing person in a lot of ways. Knowing that she was a prisoner in this moon jail, I mean, kind of fits. He doesn't judge her? He's not judging her? Yeah. Son of a...

We'll find out. So you're saying no hard feelings? So you're saying there's a chance? There's a chance. I'm going to swing and hurt things. That's easy for you to say. You didn't know him. You didn't know him like I did.

Ethel is going to step to get up against the Moonbeast and take a double slice. Double slice, flat-footed. Well, the good news is, I think I rolled well. The bad news is there were no natural 20s in the scimitar. So that is going to be a 32 on the Warhammer and a 33 on the scimitar. How the times have changed in this fight against the Moonbeast. Those are two hits. Oh, yes.

Unfortunately, I can't flens because I had to take an action to step up. But that's going to be 13 points of damage on the Warhammer. That's bludgeoning. And then that'll be not a great roll. 10 points of damage on the Scimitar. That's slashing. 23 total. that's bludgeoning. Mm-hmm. And then that'll be not a great roll. Uh, 10 points of damage from the scimitar that's slashing.

23 total. Um, smooth. Nice. It is now Suki's turn. Suki, what do you do?

Your line of effect now has an Ethel in front of it. Uh, no it doesn't. Oh. You moved as well. Yeah. It's fine. Fine. You moved as well. Yeah.

It's fine. Fine. So she's going to fire off another spell. She's going to shoot a little bit of searing light at you. There you go. What? Say what? All right.

Was that a reflex save or will or fortitude? You wish. That's a ranged spell attack, Mon Frere. Don't raise your voice to me in front of the children. Mon Frere. She spoke French. She's serious. What did you say? That's gonna be a

33. That was a natural 17 to hit. That is a hit. Yeah! Amazing. Searing John! So that is gonna be You're not a fiend or undead, are you? That's rude and no. Okay. Rats. I'm a dream

motherfucker! I'm a dream! So that's 5d6 fire and then 5d6 What's my other one? Good. 5d6. What's my other one? Good. 5d6 good damage.

So that's good. Just making sure the good is against. It probably only affects it if it is. Oh, if it is a fiend or undead. You're right. So it's just, sorry, 5d6 fire. So that's going to be 22 points of fire damage for your little ass. That is juicy and his ass is huge.

Sorry, for your bookshelf of an ass. Parkna's got a big old butt. Oh yeah! Is that your turn or do you have another action? I think for my second action because that was only for my third action I'm going to command Pepsi.

And Pepsi is going to slither. What is Pepsi speed? 20 feet. Not a lot. But Pepsi is going to slither. 20 feet. Not a lot. That tiny little hair snake?

Pepsi is going gonna slither just closer up. Actually, Pepsi's gonna move twice. What am I saying? And is going to prepare next round to attack the Moonbeast. Slither up directly to the Moonbeast. Use two of its actions to move.

It's excellent. It is the Moonbeast's turn. And the Moonbeast looks at Ethel and says, You are strong. Perhaps I can rehabilitate you, and you can stand guard here at my prison. And it attacks you with lots and lots of face tentacles. First one just... That is going to be a 31 to hit. That hits.

That hits. The first one hits for a certain amount of damage that I will be rolling right now. It hits for 19 points of slashing damage. Way to fill the dead air, Troy. That was real professional. For a certain amount of damage, then I will be rolling right now. It's like Pert Hapley from Parks and Recreation.

I think that was his name, the newscaster. It's Pert something. Pert something. You heard with Pert. Certain amount of damage that I'll be rolling right now. 19 points of regular, 3 points of mental damage. And also, give me a will save.

Okay. Oh, wait, no. No, only on a crit. All right, second attack, also with the testicle. Tentacle. 24 to hit. That misses. Hoop.

Third attack. I'm going to go back to the well with the tentacle because if I hit you with two of them, good things happen. And I rolled right out of the box. I'm so excited! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 26. Miss. What a horrible, horrible turn. Um... Fuck! You did 22

points of damage to me, and three of it was mental, which as you know, really gives Ethel some long-lasting hit. I know, but I had a plus 20 to hit on the second attack, and still blew it. Alright, so this is a great, great opening for you guys, and it is sadly Eris's turn. Eris,

give me 75 feet of movement deeper into the prison. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Brutal. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. This is just thrilling Let me scroll on the map away from where you guys are Describe where you're walking, Kate

I'm walking down the hall The long hallway of doom to my demise We opened up the to the cells Through the open rock door Yeah, we opened that up So which cell would you like me to go in, Troy?

You left the rock door perfect for you to keep sliding into the cells. Well, I guess five, one, two, three. I can make it to right this corner, so maybe next turn you get to pick a cell for me to go into if I'm still dominated. Give me that. We'll save.

Jesus Christ. Ooh. 30? DC 30. Oh, huge. I was just going to say, you need to do something to lower the DC of his John, and you made it with a 30. So you arrive in the prison, your body just pushing you through that shifting hallway now that it's moved to the south.

And you see the cell. You can actually see that crazy woman up ahead. And she's just like, ah! Welcome back! Screaming. And that wakes you out of it. And you now have control of your body and your mind. Oh, shit.

I don't, oh, God. My friends think that I hate them. She says to herself and now it is Aldo's turn alright Aldo still torn still reeling from this possibility that his

new companion is responsible for this horrible act uh in addition to the other horrible acts he's seen or commit, is going to cast guidance on myself again. I am going to, if our virtual tabletop

cooperates, make another movement to get into the clear again, and I'm going to throw a Blight Bomb at the musician. That is a miss. That will be six points of splash damage. Okay, six splash. What's that?

Okay, she's a guidance move bomb. Okay, Aldo a guy that's moved. Okay. Aldo does six points, and then perhaps somewhere the Yellow King sprints away. Maybe the Yellow King's got powers you don't even know about. Maybe he can fly. Maybe he can plane shift. Maybe he can just teleport over there. You don't know because he's invisible.

Round three. Atticus's turn um yeah he's not convinced that the creature is that good so uh because that was really close it was only because he was stupefied that that was a critical fail so he's gonna go after it again uh casting a unfortunately unheightened lightning bolt but he's still got a line Aldo and Suki have spread just enough that he's got a straight line

right between them for another lightning bolt. So first I'll do the flat check and I got it with a natty 14. Then I need a reflex saving throw. Okay. I'll do my best, Joe. From you. Okay. How about a

nat 2, bro? Oh, what is the total on that, John Jansky? That is going to be, I get a bonus for magic. That is going to be a 21 total. That is a straight up fail, which is awesome. And, you know, and it's great to, whatchamacallit, to, is his reflex his lowest save? That's sort of like what I was assuming. Maybe.

Oh, man. Just give me the info. For God's sake. I'll tell you at the bar after the show. Okay. Okay. Not bad. Not bad on the rolls.

That's 27 points of electricity. Nice. Man, is this team coming together over here? 27 points of damage. You know what this thing is capable of. Okay, 27 points of damage. Is that your turn? He still has an action.

That's what I thought. That's what I thought. Yeah, he still has an action. He's what I thought. That's what I thought. Yeah, he still has an action. He's just trying to... He's going to fall back. He's going to fall back. Fall back. Yeah, he's going to keep trying to sneak his way back

in case he needs to make a run for it to the guy. To the dinosaur. Fall back. Fall back to where you once belonged. It is Ethel's turn. Ethel, what are you gonna do? I'm now flanking the Moonbeast.

Okay. Huge. Huge. So now it's doubly flat-footed? Or did its flat-footed go away? Flat-footed was gone at the beginning of my turns. And I fixed Pepsi's movement. Pepsi, I counted incorrectly on the map, and Pepsi is now flanking with Ethel, just to be clear.

Way to cheat. No. Actually, I was following the rules. You're with us. Troy really folded quick on that. I rolled. Oh. On the scimitar.

A 90-19. A 90-19. Oh, come on. Hey, it's better than a natural one, man. It's a game of inches. So, 37 on the scimitar and a 26 on the warhammer. They say the distance between 19 and 20 is the longest inch. That's right. It was just below the neck where you hit her. Alright, so

you said 37 on the Scimitar. 37 on the Scimitar. Okay, not a crit. And 26 on the Warhammer, which I'm assuming is a miss. Yeah, 26 is a miss. Scimitar! Oh, but that's the one that's going to take some resistance against slashing.

Probably. So that'll be 16 points of slashing damage. Okay. Yes, and you do see that it's thick, froggy hide. It just doesn't get all the way through. Okay, and then I am going to... This guy is going to... This guy is kind of... Okay, I'm going to use an ability called Twin Parry.

So I'm going to use my final action to give myself a plus one to my circumstance bonus, my AC. Okay, Twin Parry, get a little circ bone to your ack. And now it's Suki's turn. Suki, you and Pepsi are up. Yes. Suki is going to first take in a page from Atticus's book. She's also going to cast

Lightning Bolt. Nice. You don't want to read that book. So you have to make a reflex. Save. Okay. First one was very high. First one was very high. Second one was very low. Let's see where this one falls.

Right down Broad Street in the middle. That is a 29 total. Right down Baker Street. A 29 is a regular success. Give me your half that damage. Give me your... So you're going to half that damage. Half damage, and I'm adding an extra d12 because I heightened it to fourth level, so that's going to be...

Damn, it would have been dope if you failed. 40 points, so half. 20 points. Oh, man. So I tested mine, Sydney, and if I would have gotten it through, mine was 37, so 40! Badass. 20 points is still not bad. 20 points is a big chunk.

That's a huge chunk. So that's all my fourth level spells. And then for her third action, she is going to again, Harasata, command Pepsi. Harasata. And Pepsi is going to strike twice. This is awesome. To cast a spell that powerful and then get two attacks with an animal companion.

That's badass. And it's flat-footed to a snake. So that's going to be a... You look like you're really struggling. I rolled bad. It's a 22. That's going to miss, first one. And then second one.

Man, Sydney, 27. Even flat-footed, that's a miss. Very close, though. Very, very close. All right. Pepsi is not that strong. But so Pepsi tries to bite you, but misses twice. Classic boa constrictor sounds.

I'm going to guess AC30. Yes. Yeah. That's my guess. So flat-footed. Oh, wait. Flat-footed or regular? Flat-footed is 28.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's my guess. Because I missed on a 29, hit on a 31. Yep. And you were close with a 27. Rats. All right. That's my turn.

But Pepsi is still flanking with Ethel, so he is still flat-footed. This would have been a good time for old-school Final Fantasy tactics, the amazing class, the Calculator. You could literally, if you figured stuff out like that, you could literally cast and just only hit creatures with AC 30 on the battlefield. Like, for example. Or like a multiple of three. Like creatures with an AC of a multiple of three or yeah and it would just like it would pick five different people

allies and enemies and just like you're like i'm willing to make the sacrifice it was the coolest i think of their jobs right they're called jobs in that game yeah it was like one of the coolest jobs you could work your way towards it was awesome yeah and what you and what you unlocked like for each job you would unlock special abilities to cast and stuff. With that job, all you unlocked was like mathematical multipliers and dividers to target. So like multiples of three, multiples of four, multiples of five, you know. It was huge. It was the biggest like game changer in the game.

It was so cool. That's a weird blind spot for me. I've never played any Final Fantasy game. I regret it. They're good. They were formative games for me. I played them. I don't play them so much these days,

but I played them all through my youth. Yeah. Okay. It is Arknar's turn. And Arknar is going to go back to the tentacle well, because I think I'm due for some better rolls, and it's going to make all the difference if I can hit. With two of these, first tenty, natural 20.

There she is. Yeah, you were due. On who? On who? Ethel or Pepsi? That was Pepsi. No, that's on Ethel. Oh, give it to Peps, John.

All right. This is going to be a named character, but so, so many other things are going toel. Oh, give it to Peps, John. All right. This is going to be a named character, but so many other things are going to happen. Oh, no. One could say a couple things are going to happen. Not me, but others might say that. Fans. You ready to rock on this? Yeah.

Is it good? Is it good? All right. I'm itchy just thinking about it. Dude, you should be. This one's about 19 sentences long. We have to have Michael Edithes. God.

Michael. This one from Jimbo, the one-man power trip in Marrero, Louisiana. Sounds like a cool dude. It's titled, That Gawk Gawk John Thousand. You land a strike on your target target stupid face like it's your job in fact it is your job and you do that job really good you pay the bills you keep the cars clean you keep presents under the tree year after year no matter what else is going on you're paying to keep the kids in a decent school instead of that post-pandemic germ factory across the parish. You deserve some damn appreciation.

Double damage. But before rolling, add one damage in recognition of all the people at the table behind the scenes, live, or in the chat that says thank you and uses your name. So... Oh, man. So with you picking this, no one is going to say thank you. So you're just going to get double-tap If this was live

I can't even imagine How bad this could be Hundreds of thank yous coming here I love our listeners But they can be a little Bloodthirsty Also there's a lot of projection In this crit I feel like

Yeah Yeah something tells me that Jimbo is paying for his kids To go to school And keeps those cars clean We're allowed to say thank you Yeah, something tells me that Jimbo is paying for his kids to go to school. Yeah. And keeps those cars clean. We're allowed to say thank you to Jimbo, right? I wouldn't risk it.

I wouldn't risk it either. I won't say anything then. I won't say anything. It ends up being like one point shy of max damage. 52 points of slashing damage. I mean, this is going to get ugly. Excuse me. 52 points of bludgeoning damage. 52 points of slashing damage. I mean, this is going to get ugly. Excuse me. 52 points of bludgeoning damage. I'm assuming, and I could be wrong, that I don't double the

mental. Max mental damage, which is 6. Oh my god. So, 52 plus 6, 58 points of damage. And because it was a crit, now I need you to roll a will save. Okay. Oh no, it turned on a dime natural four 17 17 so that's a critical failure on the mind lash uh oh my god i did this happen last time? No, because you were dominated. So you are stupefied two for one minute. I'm already stupefied two.

Do I go up? I feel like I could be wrong, but I feel like I just read this recently. And when you have two of the same condition, the higher one takes over. So instead, now you're stupefied two for one minute. Because I think, oh, no, you were already stupefied two with no duration. So that trumps the new two stupefied two for one minute Because I think Oh no you were already stupefied two with no duration So that trumps the new two stupefied Colin But I think that's correct

The worst one is the one that stays However because it was a critical failure You're also doomed one Oh no Which carries over to the Natural world That was the first action. Yep.

Second attack, 34 to hit. Yep. Okay. 34 to hit is going to be another 17 points of regular, of bludgeoning, and two points of mental. Okay. And that immediately then rends. Uh-huh. Auto rend for 18 points of bludgeoning.

Okay. And another six mental. Oh, my gosh. This is what this thing's been waiting to unleash. Oh, no. So another 24 points total of damage. And then it has one more attack. Oh, on Pepsi, right?

I know. This is too good. I have six hit points left. It missed on the last attack with a 22 unless doomed brought your... Oh, that's huge. You have to hit it before you die permanently. Man, this is so, so razor thin. I thought you guys had it, but it turns on a dime.

Especially to me. You crit and didn't miss on the second one. Okay. Very, very brutal. But there is some time, and luckily. Eris is back, everybody! Eris! Sure, she's 150 feet away, but she's back.

Run! She's back Run! I'm just reading what this Does really quickly Cool cool cool You immediately return to the fight Here's what's gonna happen I'm putting my Familiar down on the ground And then

One action and then I'm putting my familiar down on the ground. And then one action. And then I'm giving Egg one of my really good healing potions that I still have. Another action. And then I'm commanding Egg to move. So Egg has two actions and can move 40 feet. So Egg, if you... He's so kind to give me a pawn for Egg. Yes, I will find one. A tiny pawn can move 80 feet

as I would only be able to move 75 feet with three actions. Egg can move 80 feet with two since it's an egg on the screen. Hey, no, I'll move my egg, sir. Oh, sorry. I have to give you control of the egg.

Give her control of her egg. Give your hands off that egg. Let me make it smaller. Yes, it control of the egg. Give her control of her egg. Give your hands off that egg. Let me make it small. That's my egg. Yes, it's a tiny egg. Cool, cool, cool, cool. I can't move it. You should be able to now.

Okay. Okay. Ten, fifty, twenty, thirty, thirty-five, thirty-five, thirty-five, thirty-five, thirty-five. Thirty-five. Thirty-five. It's just an egg rolling. Egg. Oh, my God.

Run to Ethel. I'm sure he's ran up in front in combat and about to die. She knows him. Without me there to help him. So Egg gets 80 feet closer. And that's my turn. In the hallway. That's a good turn.

I don't know what Egg's got planned. But hopefully they'll have a chance to do it. It is Aldo's turn. Perhaps the biggest of his life. Okay. Aldo is... Oh, I can't do that. Okay.

All right. Aldo is just going... I think I gave myself guidance last time, and I shouldn't have been able to do that. So sorry about that so I'm just going to throw a I'm going to throw a blight bomb at this thing I guess it's flat footed AC

31 to hit 31 is a hit awesome alright that is 12 points of of of damage poison damage sorry and it also it has 2d4 persistent damage of the poison variety uh of the poison variety uh light bomb that is uh let you know here in a second you hit with the Blight Bomb last turn

and I don't think that no the Blight Bomb missed last turn I missed I got the splash damage that's cool when I think Blight for some reason I always think undead but it's Blight Poison I have to always correct my brain yeah it's like disease

it's volatile toxic chemicals that rot flesh that's awesome it does not give a type of poison damage uh it just says poison damage i like it yeah here i don't think there's a type of poison in 2e i think it's i think poison is a type like capital p poison it's like a type of damage. I think so. That seems correct. Okay, so that's a hit that hurts it. 2d4 persistent. Oh, man. Imagine if Athol can get it close, but doesn't knock it down with the 2d4. But then he still gets its turn.

Ugly. Nice. Ugly Johnson here. And he's doomed. How many actions you got left? Two. So, now I'm going to attempt to throw and, well now I'm going to attempt to throw... Well, I'm going to throw. I'm going to hit it with an acid flask. Okay, that is a miss.

That is six points... Or no, five points of splash damage onto it. And I'm just going to go for a natural 20 with another acid flask. Might as well. Yeah, it's another miss. another five points of splash damage yeah so it's it's it's worth it for you for sure if you're like i don't know if i'll do that third action because five points of damage is makes all the difference a limited resource i'm kind of using here but right and it would be nice to hit things

occasionally right but um all right I've got that persistent marked, and now it would be the Yellow King's turn, wherever he may be. Now it's Atticus' turn. Atticus, I imagine you're running back, but you're watching the fight the whole time, and you see Ethel get rocked. Yeah.

I mean, it's getting down to the wire here, but it seems like the beast is getting close, right? I mean, he doesn getting down to the wire here, but it seems like the beast is getting close, right? I mean, he doesn't seem unfazed. Yeah, he's got burn marks all over him. I think Atticus was inspired by Suki's lightning bolt as well. Just like, bam! Like, perhaps we can do this. And save Aris after all.

He's going to do it again. So another lightning bolt there you go okay oh wait flat check natural nine made it though and so it's a reflex save

okay bad bad roll alright so I get the bonus. 24. Yes! DC 25. Nice!

Nice! That's huge, potentially. Oh, fucking amazing roll. 29. I got a 12 in one of those. 29 points of damage. Electricity. Lightning. 29 points of electricity damage.

It's kind of a 10 and a 12, and then a 3 and a 4, but a 10 and a 12. It's kind of Mortal Kombat wavering now at this point. Come on, guys! Ethel, finish him. Ethel, just blood gushing out of your face, your ears from the mind lash and the mental damage.

I still have an action left. Oh. This really seems to be turning. Just in case every single point matters, he's going to fire off a magic missile. Yes. There you go. A level one magic missile for three points of damage, force damage.

And he dies. Oh, my God. Hell yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Flat check. Flat check. Oh, no. Flat check.

Oh, come on. I failed it. Are you serious? Yeah, but I have a hero point. I have a bottle cap. I'm going to spend it. Got to. Got to.

90-14. Ah! A rollercoaster of emotions on this magic pencil. Wow. My heart. My God. Yes! And Ethel takes his scimitar and beheads the saxophone.

It takes somewhere between one and 20 rolls, but you get it. The scimitar is forceful, so it gets more damage. It runs up to you with an elixir of moderate life. What is it? Elixir of life moderate. He's like, here, this is for you. 5d6 plus 12. Amazing.

Wow. I just love that image too, that Aeris is in there just knowing that Ethel's a mess outside. Aeris comes up shortly after and just kind of stands off away from you guys. I don't know if I should approach. Oh, right. Come back, Egg. We should get to the Yellow King, yes? Yes, we must run now. Aldo, he's getting too back

to the dinosaur. Let's go. Aldo stomps up to Aeris and says, Did you do it? Is it true? Do what? Did you kill him? Me in the jail? Kill who?

You know who I'm talking about. I truly don't know. My best friend. My best friend. Don't you prevaricate to me. You think I killed him? There's a lot of evidence to suggest it. And not really.

Just this fleshy cell phone man. Were you above it because he wasn't a child? What? You couldn't eat him? I honestly don't. I don't know what he was talking about. I've never been in this prison before. Ethel's gonna step between Eris and Aldo.

Oh boy. I think tensions are riding high and the moon beast guy said a lot of things, some of them very alarming, I admit. But also, I would love to not be on this moon. Can we agree to go find your yellow guy and maybe go home? Yes, yes. All right.

This is your seat. You shan't stand about arguing like a bunch of Methodists. So hear this now. this is not over i'm gonna get to the truth of this and if i find out that you are the wrong responsible they'll be held to pay and he turns around and stalks over what if she made a deal like that was the deal she made to get out. A life for a life. Yeah. If you remember when you died in Sarnath and appeared back on the boat, Eris was with you in

the prison where Halster was, but instead of the prison, the brig, there was like pieces of ground and like half of a tree, I think. Some sort of wasteland. And yet here in the prison, there's like pieces of ground and like half of a tree, I think. Some sort of wasteland. And yet here in the prison, it seems like the boat and

perhaps Halster's remains got pulled into here. So something happened in that moment in time. And now I imagine we just like crane shot. We see all of you like running along the surface of the moon in the distance. And you see the yellow King up ahead appears out of invisibility.

How long does it last? 10 minutes. 10 minutes. Yeah. But you're running. It's a mile. So it appears a mile. And he looks, looks behind you and, and, and sees he's like, come, come. And you all board the Shantok.

And the Shantok lifts its head up, face full of veggie lasagna. How was it? I can't remember her voice. It was delicious. You're doing it. And starts. If you recall, we had at least one 10-hour rest and then another 24-hour rest. That's a hell of a lasagna.

It was impossible. It was leftovers for days. It was impossible. That's like a catering serving. A buffet day bowl of lasagna. Shantok starts flapping its wings as all of you crowd into the howdah. You know you have a long journey ahead of you,

but Sybil lifts off the ground and starts taking off and curls around. And as she curls around, you look down and you just see this prison. You've now been in, as far as you know, every single room of that prison, a whole world that has now been completely changed. There is no warden anymore. They're all

dead. But the Yellow King is free. And you make your way back. And we will see you in Los Angeles. Oh, baby! Dude, this is it!

This is it! Hollywood, here we come. Hollywood, here we come. Hollywood, here we come. Let's stop Hollywood with the yellow king. The yellow king. With the yellow king. Thanks for listening to the Glass Cannon Network. For more podcasts and live streams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com.

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