The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 82 – Daddy's Special Yogurt

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

After finally gaining an audience with the Mad Poet and learning terrible truths about Lowls and themselves, the heroes' boat journey comes to an end. There's nothing like an Indianapolis Helium Comedy Club show during Gen Con, and this off-the-wall show did not disappoint! Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. Watch the video: https://youtu.be/XorvfLQyfBg For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at patreon.com/glasscannon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Gen Con show! Gen Con It's Gen Con 2023. It's Glass Cannon Live. It's another sold out show at Helium Comedy Club. Let me ask you this. Is everyone's teeth wet? By a show of teeth, who's wet out there?

Okay. This is a pretty wet crowd. Look at that guy, his teeth are soaked. It's all over his shirt. Give that guy a fresh glass cannon shirt, full price, no discount. It's all wet. How was everybody's first day at Gen Con? Good day at Gen Con today?

How many people said, fuck Gen Con, we're just coming to see the GCP? God, this week is the best. Isn't it just the best? The best. It's absolutely the best. It's almost worth the fact that we're all going to be really sick in about six days.

Like, really sick. This is our... I was doing the math before the show. This is our sixth Gen Con. The first time we came was in 2017 when we had one, maybe two podcasts. No kids. This was back when Joe could get an erection without medicine.

I don't remember those days. I know. That's how long ago it was. He's constantly popping pills. He's chewing on them. You don't need an erection backstage, I said to him.

No, we, we're now six short years later and we've got 14 podcasts, a booth on the exhibition floor and we get to play with Kate and Sidney.

I mean, aren't they the best? Kate and Sidney! The best. They make everything better. I couldn't be more excited for tonight's show if I tried. You're in for such a treat. These helium shows always

get out of control. And I'm all tuned up and ready to have sex with strangers at the VIP party. I'm going to do it. Kidding, I'm a married man. I only bang my wife. That's cool of you. I promised her.

I promised her I wouldn't jackhammer any strangers. I remember your wedding, your self-written vows were really touching. I just wanted to be honest. Skid, what are you most excited for this weekend? Just these shows, I guess. I mean, I always look forward to this show in particular. This is like my, I think this is my favorite show to do every year.

We always have so much fun. Everybody's all primed. Everyone's all geeked up from being at Gen Con all day. They don't know their body's limits so they're more drunk than they should be. Everyone's super enthusiastic. This is always a blast. This is great. And we love

this venue. Yeah, I mean, it looks like there's 3,000 people here. Yeah. everybody packed in uh but i agree there's something special about the the first show that we do here and it's and when it's sold out like this the energy in the room and we are doing an amazing story tonight i can't wait to get into it but kate how is your first gen con be um i'm i'm just overwhelmed yeah i mean i am excited, period, and overwhelmed. Didn't you say something like you walked out onto the show floor to check it out,

and within a couple minutes you were like, I have to leave now? Well, I walked into the first door, because we're at booth seven something, and I walked into the first seven door. One seven is not right at all. I don't know where we are. That's bad promotion, Kate. We're at booth seven. I walked into the wrong door.

I was like, no problem. I'll just walk one city block of this thing. No. No. It was a problem. Well, there's nothing less overwhelming than performing in front of a giant sold-out restaurant. I'm still overwhelmed. This is a really easy end to the weekend.

It's going to be great. See if you can do it. Sydney, did you buy anything today Besides that iced coffee that you didn't get me Yeah only Sydney did that Anything besides that iced coffee It wasn't both of us it was only Sydney That's what I thought

The line was so long that I was worried If I ordered more than one iced coffee They would kill me on the spot The coffee shops God bless the baristas. But I didn't get to buy anything because I had two shows today. So I kicked it off.

I like came in hot. It was really great. I got to play Vast Grimm, which I hadn't played, which was dope. But yeah, I spent most of the time, like you said, Kate,

walking around the con to get to different places because it's so chaotic inside. But it takes a while. So I didn't get to buy anything. But tomorrow, I'll be on the floor. So I'm going to find cool stuff. And please recommend things to me. Write to me. Tell me after the show. I'm new to this.

There's a Root role-playing game. I saw Root. So I have Oath. Okay, let's talk about this. So I have Oath. No, we don't have to. But yeah, I'm very excited. I'm going to go check out them for sure. Well, that's very exciting. I'm excited for you check out them for sure. Well, that's very exciting. I'm excited for you.

I'm excited to watch you sweat in that silly costume. Hey, Troy, already happening. Why did I wear a wig? Yeah, I'm regretting this hoodie. What about you? Did you sample any local Indiana cheese flights? What do you do when you're not walking around? Line up the cheese.

I'll give you Indiana's finest. No, how was your day, Ben? I saw you for a little bit. It's been great. It's been great. We kicked off the booth. I mean, I'm doing all the tech and everything with the help of our producers behind the scenes,

and it all went well, which is shocking. So it started on time. Every show went smoothly. Amazing. And that makes me a lot more happy going into tonight. I am looking forward like skid to this show more than anything because I love Helium.

I love this crowd every year. It sounds so incredibly loud in my ears. Some great moments have happened to old Joe Bryan's character in this room. And I also, it's the one game where I already know the character. That's true. Which is a real

relief. I can just actually come and just play. Well, I'm excited for you. This is a fun show. This is going to be a big show for you in particular. And you are fired up. You keep talking like the start of this book is like war and peace or something. I'm going to take some of your medicine. I'm so fired up uh this is gonna be a fun night uh but i i like to uh i've been doing

this all tour instead of just being mean uh starting with a banter topic and so the one uh i want to get your opinion on this i had a uh i had a b problem recently we had uh some yellow jackets above our door. B door. B, yes. I thought you meant like a class B problem. It's just like, I don't know if A problems in my life. I'm dealing with the B problems first.

Or the letter B, like I didn't like all its curves. No, it was an actual B. Sexy B, get out of here. Like a nice straight I. No, but we have Bs. We have these yellow jackets and they're above our door, and then we had some more by the shed. Did you do the TikTok trend?

I don't know what that is. I want to hear where this story goes, and then I'll tell you a thing that's going to change your life. Okay, well, I would assume I didn't do it, because I murdered them all. Did you light them on fire? I lit them on fire. Well, first I said, come on, get out here, bees!

That didn't work, and so then I took a hose, and I sprayed them, and that just made them really mad. Why did you do that? I was just like, come on, man, this is your last chance! A little warning shot from the hose. Last chance, you fucking bees! You rolled a five on an intimidation. You were like, I'll get you! I put it on the mist. It wasn't even that hard. But I was like, alright, I've got to deal with these bees because I have 17 children, and I don't want them to get stung. But then from what I understand, you're not supposed to kill bees.

You're supposed to be nice to them. No, they're rare now. No, fuck the wasps. You can kill wasps. Well, I didn't know what they were, and so I started Googling, and I found a site that was like, we will come, and we will analyze each individual bee, and we'll check their credit, and then if they're a good bee, we'll rehouse the bee on someone else's house or something

to terrorize them. I don't know. What do they do if it's a bad bee? If it's a bad bee, they're just like... They murder them. They take it out behind their shed and shoot it. That's a lot of bullets. Oh, no, they could use a BB gun.

That's fun. Ah bullets. Oh, no, they could use a BB gun. That's fun. Yeah, it's good. Ladies and gentlemen, Skidmar. Banter bottle cap, anyone? So I looked at the price, and then I looked at the price of the guy that just kills him, and it was an obvious choice. So I called the guy, and he comes over,

and he's like, oh, are uh these are some bees and uh i can do it and it's going to be like three hundred dollars and like three hundred dollars that's wild all right fine and i said so how does it work and you know it's well i come i come at night i come at night he's like i come what he goes like i come at night when the bees are sleeping. He says, I'm going to come. I'll come back after 10 o'clock tonight. And I use this stuff and it takes care of it. And I said, all right, I don't want to know anymore.

I gave him cash and he left. And 10 o'clock came and I was like, I think I just gave cash to a random weirdo. Because he didn't come. And I was like, I think I just gave cash to a random weirdo because he didn't come. And I was like, I gotta go to bed. And so I woke up the next day and I saw that my driveway alarm had lit up around 1140 and then I got a text from him that was like, it's done. Not even kidding.

So I go, I go outside and the bees are very angry. They're still there. I thought I was just going to come out to a pile of bees, and I'd be flicking them and doing some fun stuff. No, they were just really angry, and so I went back inside. It's like John Wick. He killed a bunch of their aphids.

It was really bad. And then I waited about six, seven hours, and I came back out, and there were no bees. But then I just was watching. I was like, wow, that's crazy. That really worked. Looked by the shed, no bees. And then I went back to look at the roof and I saw one little bee come flying up. And I just thought about his story. So the one who lived. If he was like, ah. The bee who lived.

The bee who lived. I really needed that. He has a lightning shaped scar over his eye. I just, I can't help but personify the bee. I think of him, and he'll be like, I'm so glad I took a week off. I have not taken a week off in forever. And honey, I'm home.

He just walks in there, goes into every room in the hive. Oh my God. Everyone's dead, and within minutes, he dies as well. Yes. From the horrible. I do love that the bee says honey i'm home when he gets home isn't that fun skid you're on a roll i love it that's good yeah and uh and then the other day like a week later i'm just sitting out there and a bee attacked me

and i think he was just like yo you son of a bitch you're the one that did it you put out the head so anyways what i'm asking you is did i do the right thing or should i have rehoused the bees let me tell you the trick. And I watched this on TikTok. You guys hear about this? It's not. You guys hear about this? TikTok?

It's not the mist part of the hose. You guys hear about TikTok? This is my stand-up set. I'm trying to get a tight five in. What you do is you fill a cup of like a plastic cup with just a little bit of gasoline. And then you. Oh yeah, I'll leave that out for the kids to play with. Maybe a match.

And then you bring that out for the kids to play with. Maybe a match. And then you bring a match. And then you just take the cup and you place it up towards where the nest is. And the cup goes around the nest and it seals it, you know, like around the edge and the vapors of the gasoline instantly knock all of the bees out. And then they just fall into the cup dead. I mean, you're killing them. So make sure they're not bees. Make sure they're like wasps or yellow jackets. to the cup dead. I mean, you're killing them, so make sure they're not bees. Make sure they're like wasps or yellow jackets.

And then you just throw it in the garbage. And you don't get stung. You just throw the cup of gasoline into the garbage? I don't know. Dump it down your drain or like put it...

What are you talking about? You need to work on this type five. Also, are you going out at night with a cup of gasoline? Put it in a sippy cup in your fridge. You have to do it at night with a cup of gasoline?

You have to do it at night if you don't want to get sung. You can't do it during the day because there's bees out and when they come back... I'm walking around at night with a Dixie cup full of glass-filled gasoline. I'm going to spill it all over myself. Also, you can make a bucket. You pay me. That's what I'm going to do.

Listen, I have experience in this realm, actually. I didn't get my knowledge off of TikTok. I got it from the mean streets of the woods that I live in. So how do you kill your bees? I buy poison that sprays from 10 feet, 20 feet.

We're talking about poison. And I spray it from 20 feet away and I go out into my front yard at night with a flashlight. Oh my god. And then I spray the bush and I go, fuck, I missed. And then I just like use the whole thing somehow and then I have to go to the store the next day, buy another one, come back.

I've done it twice and they're still alive. My husband's allergic, so I really got to kill him and I don't personify them. Well, I bet you that would have cost less than 300 bucks. Yeah. It's been 2020 so far. I'm not letting that in.

Just out of curiosity, what was the price for the rehousing? It was like $1,000. Oh! No, no way. Kill the bees. Pay me next time. I don't care if it was the last living bee in the world.

Like if there was a Noah's Ark for bees. $300 sustaining the equilibrium of everything we know, life. I'll make honey. I'll find out. I'll figure it out. I don't even need honey. Fuck honey. What do you need honey for?

Flowers? They just make you sneeze. Anyways, if you like bees, sorry, I killed a bunch of bees. I don't agree with your policy. They're living inside of the walls of my house now. Oh my God. But at least my house is going to catch fire because I didn't throw gasoline all over my wooden house.

You know what you do with a cup of gasoline? You throw it in the trash can. Maybe pour it down the toilet. Yeah, put it in the toilet. I don't care. Put it in the fridge next to the Gatorade. That's what I said. Put it in a sippy cup and pour half water in it. So it's diluted. Yeah, put it in the toilet. I don't care. Put it in the fridge next to the Gatorade. That's what I said. Put it in a sippy cup and pour half water in it

so it's diluted. Yeah, dilute it. Just put it right next to my child's yogurt. That's right. Just market daddy's yogurt. Daddy's special yogurt. This is daddy's special yogurt. They won't be enticed at all.

Daddy's medicine. Gasoline. He sorted an old Pedialyte bottle for safety. Not to mention, like, now I'm picturing myself pulling up at the gas station with, like, a cup. Don't worry, I got this. Fucking trying to fill a snowman cup. Pulling it once. That's all I need.

That's all I need. He must have bees at his house. Is that 38 cents? Anyways. over your head. He must have bees at his house. Was that 38 cents? Anyways, I'm not going to burn my house down or shoot poison randomly

over my four-month-old's bedroom window. We should probably play a game. Sure. You guys want to

play some make-believe? Yeah. Yeah. I'm in. That's what we do. We play a little Make Believe. This is, let's talk recap. Man, this is a recap

and a half. Last month in Seattle. Who was in Seattle last month? Yeah. Thank you. One young lady. No, no, over here. Oh, Jen! Two!

Two young ladies. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, you were there. You were there. My two best friends. We know. All right. Well, we did a show.

Thanks for showing up. We finished book three of Strange Aeons in Seattle in one of the longest and wildest shows in Glass Cannon Live history until tonight. Of course, the audio was completely fucked for the second time only since we started this show. And you'll be pleased to know that I was totally calm and collected behind closed doors about it.

Luckily, we don't have to worry about that amateur fucking bullshit at Helium Comedy Club. The premier comedy club in this Indiana mall. Second to none. Spitting ice everywhere. Second to none. I am going to try and make this recap

as simple as possible, but a lot went down last step, and I'm warning you right now, you sweaty hunk of fucking provolone. If you so much as fucking look at Sydney during my recap, I will not give you a bottle cap. I mean, but look at her. I will not give you a

bottle cap, even if you earn it, until next year when we come back to Haley and Does that apply to this side of the room, too? Because look at her. You guys, you never chat. You're very well behaved. Well, we never sat next to each other. This is true.

That's true. I am always talking with Matthew, but he died. Don't chat. He's dead. Yeah, for those that don't know. Was that not news? Did you people not? Should we have mentioned that earlier?

Didn't you see our tweet? I thought it went out on Instagram. McD, I thought these people knew. We had a tweet, but we ran out of characters. We must have... There's too many letters in Capitacasa. Yeah, the tweet just said Matthew Capita, and that was all we could fit.

Yeah, but he's dead. So yeah, shut up. You guys, stop being friends. Joe and Skid's characters are the last surviving characters from the first episode of this series. When, as I always say, our heroes awoke in asylum. In an asylum with no memory of the last few years of their life. Now, they have learned over time that they used to work for a man named Count Hazerton Lowes IV. And at some point point their memories were erased

and they were placed inside the asylum. They got out of the asylum and they find out that the Count is traveling far away in search of a book called The Necronomicon written by a man named Abdul Alhazred, aka The Mad Poet,

and that the Count has been experimenting with projecting his consciousness into the dimension of dreams to meet with this Mad Poet. So Atticus and Aldo, along with their companions that they've met along the way, spent the last year of real time and about six months of game time trying to gain an audience with this same mad poet. And last month they finally arrived at his dreamland's desert oasis.

They get there and he steps out of a small hut. Holding, shut up. Holding a large tome under his arms and he explains to you that Laos is seeking the lost city of Neruzavan.

And in order to learn the location of Neruzavan in the natural world, he tells you that you must seek certain writings in the Necronomicon and that you can peruse the genuine Necronomicon at a university of the occult called the Mysterium in the Qiran city of Kthir. Now, since he gave all this same info to Laos,

he believes Laos is most likely heading to Kthir to obtain the Necronomicon. Hell, he may already have it. However, he goes on to point out that Laos, Lows, Lows? Lows, yes Lolls, Lolls. Lolls. Lolls. Lolls?

Lolls, yes. Lolls. He shops at Lolls. He has a credit card there. Lolls is not what he seems. The mad poet says that the great old one, Jamundor, has infected him, and he believes that Lolls intends to use the Star Stelae in both Threshmore, where you spent some time, and this

lost city of Neruzavan, to mark Galarian, to mark the world, so that it can be brought into Carcosa. Doing so would fully awaken Jamundor, and Laos would become the Great Old Ones' champion

for completing the task. You came upon these stars, Soleil, when you explored Threshmore. These are ancient monuments that were left here millennia ago. Pre-humanity, when aliens came to the world. If there are any Scientologists in the crowd,

you'll love this nonsense. Was it the Aboleth? Did we figure that out? Did the Aboleth leave them? Did we know that? The Aboleth. They were flying polyps. Flying polyps came here.

They're the ones that put these down. And then there was a fight between the polyps and the elder things. It's a whole thing. Read Lovecraft. Or don't. I don't really care. So he tells you all this, and then the mad poet offers you a chance to regain your memories by walking into the reflecting pool and speaking with the king of Neruzavan.

You do so, and Atticus and Aldo see themselves coming to this same oasis long ago with Lals and one by one being drowned by Lals, which caused you to lose your memories. Suki and Eris see dark moments from their past as well. Your reflections then rise up from the water to try and destroy you and you are forced to kill your own reflections. water to try and destroy you, and you are forced to kill your own reflections. Then as the dust settles, you hear a series of clicks, high-pitched hoots, and mechanical static as a voice enters all of your brains telepathically and says, Wake up, followed by these words. You are now free, but to remain so, you must find me.

Atticus and Aldo, you now have your memories back. So let's start this session today by taking a look into your fucked up minds. Imagine this dust is settling from this fight.

You're hearing these voices, and we see a wide, faraway shot of the desert oasis, the reflecting pool, the tree that came to life. And we fade out of there, and in the darkness, we hear thunderous applause. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. there and in the darkness we hear thunderous applause. If I close my eyes I can almost hear it. Yeah.

Well from there we fade up inside a theater not unlike this one. Packed with a sold out crowd not unlike this one. But unlike the yahoos here, they're all dressed nice. It's finely dressed men, women, and children out for a night of entertainment, and a pallid haze of smoke fills the air.

Through the haze, we see Atticus Grimm on stage wearing his trademark suit, his tie, and his top hat. A rat in a hat. Some elements maybe of his previous trick are being removed from the stage

by some stagehands. He's bowing and thanking the audience, and then he I don't know, he motioned them to quiet down or something. Well, they're being so loud. They're being so loud. Ah! He's going to stand up. Oh, my lords and ladies,

you are too kind. You are too kind. Ah, well, it has been a delightful evening, truly. You have been an absolutely spectacular audience. Give yourselves a round of applause, please, please. Truly, you have earned it. You have earned it. And, of course, I need to thank my dear friend, James Netherford, who could not be with us this evening, for he is ill.

I have taken his place, and you are so gracious to have me. James is such a dear friend of mine. Let us all show James how much we care for him. Please, please, a round of applause. Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, such a dear friend. Now, I think

that we have time for one more trick. What do you say? Do we? Renee, do we have time for one more trick. What do you say? Do we? Renee, do we have time? One more. One more. We can do one more.

All right. Excellent. Excellent. My lords and ladies, first you must prepare your minds. For as you know, I am an illusionist. The things you will see here Are all illusions Of course But some illusions can strike

Such fear Into the minds of even the bravest soul That it could ruin your mind So I'll ask the children out there this evening Please hold on to daddy's hand And make sure that he does not run screaming from the theater for me. Would you? Okay, thank you so much. Thank you so much.

Out beyond the scope of our known universe is the dark tapestry. There we go, yes. Thank you, thank you. A veil beyond which is the unknowable. An infinite mystery. He starts to move his hands, and he turns around and turns his back to the crowd. And these points of light begin to form in like a circular formation.

And then they kind of coalesce into these constellations. You can see little star constellations, nine of them around a circle. And they start floating and spinning in the air. But what if we could look beyond it? What if we could lift it and see what secrets it holds he makes this exaggerated like gyration of his body and this

like pure blackness opens between all of these constellations making like a portal of like oily looking viscous liquid that like breathes in and out of the portal and there's like oohs and ahhs

from the audience. Yes, exactly. Holy shit! Sir, fear not! Fear not. The portal cannot hurt you. One guy. There you one guy oh shit

oh Jesus fucking Christ what the fuck is that a moment later, what looks like a liquid starts to solidify and then become almost transparent, and a star field can be seen beyond with the pinks and greens of nebulae that these people, these tummies, have probably never seen.

Would anyone like to go, to visit and go beyond the veil to see what is beyond the known universe? Maybe a little girl. A little girl. Any young girls. We'll say, for insurance sake, a fictitious little girl.

In a yellow dress. Bearing no resemblance to any actual living. No resemblance to any actors or humans. A little girl in a yellow dress gets up. She's walking up the aisle. I will. I will. Is that better?

Excellent. I'll do it. Please step up to the stage, child. What is your name? Daddy says don't tell strangers your name. Your daddy is very smart then. There is power in knowing a name,

isn't there? Please, come up to the stage. Is your father here tonight, though? Is he here? He's right there. Dad, come on. Come up to the stage as well. Yes, please. Come up on to the stage and let's witness your daughter's travels

beyond the known universe. He'll get up. He'll join her because you're scary and he doesn't want you. I imagine he's like the size of a child. Now, sweetheart, you stand right there.

She's like in front of the portal. This is awful. I'm very attached to this child I hope nothing bad happens I hope nothing happens to her I will now perform the incantation Of transportation Which will take her beyond the dark tapestry But only for a moment

She will return directly to us But her memories will be filled of the knowledge Beyond what any of us know. I cannot wait to speak to her when she returns. Stand very still, my dear. She follows directions. Not even God himself could prevent her from coming back. Meloth, Dacash, Insupia Crassit, Melodiasfex, Kelifar. And as Atticus says that, massive, dripping tentacles erupt from the portal and grab the little girl.

The audience, not unlike you, screams. Oh my god, amazing. The father is thrown onto his back, and Atticus stares in horror as he sees that each tentacle has eyes. So many eyes pulsing from all sides. No, no, not here. No, not now. And the girl is getting pulled towards the portal

and into the darkness. Something is wrong, please. It is broken. It is supposed to be an illusion. Guards, guards, help us. Guards come running down the darkness. Something is wrong, please. It is broken. It is supposed to be an illusion. Guards! Guards, help us! Guards come running down the aisle. They're unsheathing their swords. People begin to stand. They're running for the theater. They're like,

Oh, my God! They're running for the theater. Wait, no! No, wait! Wait, stop! Stop, please! I know what this is. I've seen it. I don't know how it entered this place.

It seems impossible, but I see its mind. It is a beast from the great beyond, an aberration of terrible strength. Your blades will be useless. Please. A monster from the outer veil requires blood sacrifice to be sated. It must feed on the life of mortals. If we make such a sacrifice, it will rest.

I'm short of it. It will release the girl. And he'll turn to the father. Oh! And he'll be like, You must give your blood to the creature. You must. It is the only way to save your child.

No! No! No! And he's like grabbing his daughter and trying to pull her from the tentacle. There is no time, sir. There's no time to think of this. And he'll go into his waistband and pull out a knife.

And he just hands it across. Do it! Open your veins! Sake the beast! and pull out a knife. And he just hands it across. Do it! Open your veins! Shake the beast! The father takes the knife and people are just like, ah-ha! Ah!

And he's... Ah! Oh, no! He's holding the knife. He's staring at Atticus, shaking out of his mind with fear and then he shouts and just is like,

ah! And starts cutting into his arm, cutting across his inner forearms, and blood just starts gushing out of his arms, splashing onto the floor. And as it does so, it begins to rise from the floor into the air like little goblets that start getting pulled into the portal. It coats all of these tentacles that are coming out, trying to grab the young girl. And the eyes of the beast start to shudder with pleasure. It's like... The father begins to weaken as he bleeds out and hits the floor.

He falls to his knees, and maybe his grip loosens on the knife. The knife falls, and this thing is just getting fatter and fatter, like engorged with blood. And the little girl does slip from its grasp. Her dress is coated, her yellow dress, coated in blood. And she falls to the floor beside her father. The tentacles, like great fleshy weights, slump back through the edges of the portal and disappear. And in a wink, the portal closes.

Atticus is breathing heavily. The girl is crying. And the room, along with whoever remains, is completely silent. And then Atticus raises his head with a smile. raises his head with a smile. I know you didn't wish to share your name, little one, but could you at least stand up and show us all your dress?

The girl stands up, sobbing, and she looks down and her dress is in flawless condition. Not a speck of blood on it. Such a beautiful dress. Dad, you as well. You stand up. Show them. Show them your wounded arm. The father is like out of it.

Completely confused. He lifts his head up, and he's blinking through the stage lights, blinking to try and see you. And he looks at his arm, holds it up, and there's no cut. No blood. And I'll take my knife back, if you please. Atticus Grimm! Atticus Grimm! Atticus Grimm! Atticus Grimm! Atticus Grimm! Atticus Grimm! Of course, of course, I blunted blade. But the power of illusion cuts deep, does it not?

It is not real. But our minds make it real. The guy just looks at Atticus and grabs his daughter and is like, madman, madman! And he just runs her off the stage. My lords and ladies, you have been a beautiful audience. Good night!

Unfortunately, the audience in this theater is not like the audience in this theater is not like the audience here. Because now we cut to the audience and we see the few dozen or so folks that didn't make it out of the theater are standing up, just brushing like popcorn

and jujy fruits off their pants. And they dove to the floor in fear. But we do see one man sitting, fruits off their pants. They dove to the floor in fear. But we do see one man sitting like middle left of the theater. And he's watching Atticus intently from his seat, following Atticus all the way as he walks off stage. I'd like to show a picture of this man, a picture that none of you have seen let's go to roll 20

because this man looks oh my god he looks like a map he looks like a map wow he looks like this oh he looks really cool Wow. He looks like this.

Whoa. Whoa. He looks really cool. He sits there and just watches through his glasses, following Atticus. Oh, my God. All the way out. It's horrible.

Of the theater. Now maybe we cut back to Atticus in his dressing room. His bow tie is hanging untied around his neck. He takes his stupid little top hat off. He sits down. Maybe he's confused and feeling a little defeated. Just then there's a knock on his dressing room door. Go away. Hey, I'm sorry if you didn't like the performance, on his dressing room door. Go away.

I'm sorry if you didn't like the performance, but there are no refunds. The door opens slightly, and this man walks in, kind of peeks his head in. He's wearing a thick, fur-lined coat, and Atticus, you notice immediately, like a coat of arms of a noble family on, like, maybe his lapel or something.

He says, I am so sorry to interrupt. That was quite the show you put on. I don't often get out to the theater as my work keeps me quite busy. But I'm glad I took a break this evening. Your performance was quite something. Thank you indeed, my lord. It is something I've been working on.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I believe you are more than a mere magician. The subject matter of your final allusion leads me to believe that we may share similar interests. interests. If perhaps you'd ever like to further your study into such things, I'm always looking for fellow scholars to join me in my quest for knowledge. The man looks around

at the sad, pathetic little dressing room. Maybe the holes on your jacket that have been patched and patched over again. It would pay handsomely as well. But there are also far greater rewards that will be made available to you.

I do hope to hear from you. And he reaches out and hands Atticus a business card, smiles, and walks out. And Atticus stares down at the card, and it says, Iris Hill, Thrushmore, Count Hazerton Lowell's the fourth. This is the first we've actually seen him, right?

You've seen the Yellow King, the part of Lyle's consciousness that allegedly was left behind when the mad poet revealed something to Lyle that was so earth-shattering that a piece of his mind splintered off and stayed behind, but he was kind of like a silly buffoon.

You are now remembering this interaction. Wow. So I think it's only fair that we see an interaction that you had, Aldo. Yes! Yes, please! I believe

it was the Boston show in 2020 where we had a flashback in which we saw Aldo driving a cart. I love that flashback. It said, Doc Aldo's Marvelous Traveling Medicine Show. And he was being chased down a dirt road

by soldiers. And then he arrived at a very specific location on a map, and he recited a passage from a book, and then he was transported from what we now know was Australia to Galarian. passage from a book and then he was transported from what we now know was australia to galarian somewhere in galarian and he started jumping and dancing and singing and having pulled off this miracle and we saw two nearby goblins stare in disbelief at this obvious mad scientist. Well, now we see Aldo Casimir,

not long after that, perhaps, dizzy and exhausted from celebrating his recent escape from a squad of redcoats. He collapses in a large puddle of rainwater. He's clutching a copy of On the Conjunction of Worlds by O.A. Diggs on his chest.

Oh, right. And he's completely naked, laughing to himself. Ha ha ha ha ha! I was warned, never mind what I said! You're a bloody genius! He kisses the book, and he pulls himself

up to his feet, and his joy quickly turns to concern. Because the rain is cold, he has no idea where he even is, and he is naked. Yeah, so I imagine the moon and the stars are obscured by rain clouds, so it's hard to even determine which way is north, south, east, or west. rain clouds, so it's hard to even determine which way is north, south, east, or west, so Aldo just picks a direction and sets off.

Just goes through the dripping forest, marching along, shivering as the cold starts to bite deeper and deeper. And finally, up ahead, he sees a row of lantern lights sort of bobbing along a road in the distance,

maybe a caravan. And he rushes to it, abandoning all caution in hope of relief. I'm going to stand up too. Yeah. Yeah! Yeah! Wow. So he's shivering. He's covering his nether regions with the book.

Give him a book. I'm not getting naked. This is all theater of the mind. We're not wearing armor and throwing actual bombs she's shivering and pardon me my friends I'm but a weary traveler

oh he doesn't lift his arm up like that I'm but a weary traveler a victim of road agents who have left me penniless and alone

I might not trouble you for passage right at that moment maybe the clouds break, revealing a strange scarred moon above. We see that the caravan is actually formed of cages on wheels, all containing miserable-looking prisoners. A shadowy figure draws closer to Aldo, and the shivering Australian

is surprised to see that this figure is covered in tawny fur and has the head of a hyena. It looks him up and down, eyeing him greedily. Oh. The gnoll smiles a sick smile at Aldo

and says, well, look at you, naked as the day you were born. Well, allow me to bring you to your new mama because now, now you belong to new mama. Because now, now you belong to biting lash. And he wraps you on the head with a cudgel and knocks you unconscious.

Oh, man. From there, everything is fuzzy. There are flashes of you waking up in a haze, rolling along a hillside in a cage packed with rolling along a hillside in a cage packed with several other people

stuffed in next to you. You keep waking up from what feels like a long sleep only to find yourself inexplicably tired and hungry. You have this memory of rolling up to a tall cylindrical fortress and being dragged inside the building

and thrown in a cell. You remember a sandy courtyard where you and several other prisoners were given blunted spears to try and stave off attacks from several dozen gnoll soldiers who were using you as training partners. You were beaten and bloodied, but always kept at the brink of life. You were beaten and bloodied, but always kept at the brink of life. It's all a blur as these memories begin to resurface, but one moment in time stands out among all others. You are once again in a cage next to others in fetters and wearing little but a loincloth to cover you. You're in an outdoor market. The smell of strange spices fills the air.

It would be intoxicating if you weren't so mentally and physically weak. As you stand in the cage, your eyes squinting ahead at the desert sun. In this part of the world, it's called a scun. That unforgiving desert scun. Black hole scone. That unforgiving desert scone. Black hole scone, won't you come and blow away the screen? You're squinting against the

scone and a figure steps into view. That's how you mess up. You make a joke of it. A figure steps into view and he has a you mess up. You make a joke of it. A figure steps into view, and he has a commanding presence. He's dressed not appropriately for the heat, wearing a long coat and a hat. Circular glasses cover his eyes.

He walks along this row of cages and stops beside you. Are you the alchemist? Aldo's blinking at him, his lips are cracked and blistering from the heat and lack of water. He says, I'm a, uh, a maker of medicines.

I, uh, I have been. I suppose, yes. Well, I'm, uh, sure I don't have to tell you that you don't belong in a place like this well that's what I've been telling them your captors

have a formulae book they said you had on your person when they found you my associate Mr. Munn, a highly respected practitioner of your art, looked at your book and he tells me you show great promise and that perhaps you are someone worth saving. Oh, I mean, that's flattering i suppose uh so i know quite how to respond to that honestly well i have a proposition for you mister and he looks at the cage and it just says aldo on the cage and then there's a space for the name of a city and the the city says Casimir. But it's all faded and scratched up, and one of the S's is blurry,

so it looks like your name is Aldo Casimir. It says Mr. Aldo Casimir. He laughs, knowing that's not your real name. Maybe you even muster a smile as well, though you can't for the life of you remember your actual last name, knowing that's not your real name. Maybe you even muster a smile as well. Though you can't for the life of you remember your actual last name and the man in glasses smiles. I would like to purchase your freedom, Mr. Casimir. I'm sure there are others who would have less scrupulous desires than I,

so I will speak plainly. I am a academic of sorts and I need fellow minds like yours to aid me in my pursuit of knowledge. Come work for me once you work off this debt for lack of a less crude word.

If you choose to leave my employ and strike out on your own, you are most welcome to. But if you choose to stay, I believe you will find the benefits most rewarding. What's the catch?

No catch. However, I should warn you before you accept. I find that sometimes the pursuit of great knowledge may open the door to dark dealings. Now, you're not above dark dealings, are you, Mr. Casimir? Well, sir, I must say that I've always prided myself on a certain strict adherence to local laws,

but under extreme circumstances, I believe I could be persuaded. Excellent. Well, then I will go and finish up the paperwork. My colleague Mr. Munn is quite looking forward to picking your brain.

I'm sorry, I didn't get the pleasure of asking your name. Lowles. Hazardous Low didn't get the pleasure of asking your name. Lowles. Hazardous Lowles. And the pleasure is all mine. Unfortunately, that's all the time we have for a show tonight. Thank you, Kate and Sidney.

Ladies and gentlemen, Kate and Sidney! Hi! I'm so glad you dressed up. I was just going to say, you got dressed up. I'm so glad I did my character voice and I put on these ears. So, alright. Thanks, Troy. You did great. We'll let you talk for the next hour.

So, pretty intense stuff there. Pretty intense memories flooding to the surface. I'm going to kind of hand wave here. You know, if we come back to the Oasis, you know, during the fight with these mirror reflections, I don't know if I mentioned this, but the mad poet just ducked back into his hut. So maybe as you're like cleaning yourselves up after the fight, stumbling around, you, you go over to the hut and you look inside and it's completely empty. It's completely empty with no

trace of anyone ever having lived there. Oh my god. Maybe from there you meander about the oasis for a little while and then you decide to take all the actions you need to wake up in the real world hoping that you even

can after your interaction with the mad poet. Luckily, you can. As slowly, one by one, you awaken on the boat. Now, as you come to, two things stand out immediately. One, you don't see Tiny Murder Clown anywhere. Oh, thank God. Thank God.

Oh, man. And two, you see Ethel, but Ethel is still on the floor asleep and motionless. And you're not sure if he's even breathing.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Suki, we got to help Ethel. I don't know if I can, but I can try. Or Aldo, any of your potions? Oh, I've only got so many per day. She starts casting soothe. She starts casting soothe on him, being like, oh, it's okay. They're there.

Oh, he's trying to revive him. I mean, he's just tired help at the end of the day, you know. We sort of anticipated this, didn't we, Atticus? Yes, indeed. One day it would inevitably come to this. Yeah, of course. And when they die, you don't have to pay them. No, indeed. One day it would inevitably come to this. Yeah, of course. I mean... And when they die, you don't have to pay them. No, exactly.

I mean, that's one less pay period that we have to, like, account into our budgets. Yes. So, silver lining, I say. No, I think Atticus is going to, like, kneel down next to Ethel and like Jason Bourne style, he just starts patching his wounds and like not knowing how he's doing it.

Oh, wow. I think Suki, seeing you take action, Atticus, also kneels down. And since they're back on the boat, she's like, she runs to the cabin area. What? No, I was just acting out him fixing him and not knowing how. Oh, and then you stop it back in. Look like you're wrapping a present.

She runs. I think of her. She runs and she gets her crystals and her sage, and she comes back and she places it around his head, and she puts her hand on his head. That nonsense doesn't work. Shut up! He's gushing blood all over the crystals.

I don't know how I'm doing this. Your bandages look ridiculous. You keep making little bows on them. Let me do what I do. I like pretty stitches. She casts stabilize just to, she doesn't know what else to do, but she casts it just so he doesn't straight up die.

And it just says positive energy shuts death's door. Okay. So she does that. So you do that and you see a big intake of breath. And so you realize that there is some life there, but something's not

right. Let me get a medicine check from anyone who is able to do that. I can do that. A combination of your soothing eris and your stabilize and your magic stitching. It's your magic stitching. It's not magic stitching. It's regular

stitching. 33 for Aldo. Okay. Natural one. I'm way too concerned about my boyfriend. You're too emotionally involved. You heard it here first. Yeah, that's right.

26 for Atticus. It's a little late. It's a little late. Oh, no, wait. I got a better one. What's that here? That's good. That was better.

That was better. So you're examining him, looking at his situation, and Atticus, you step back, because you think you know what's going on here, and then Aldo, you confirm it. Ethel's in a coma. Oh. Oh, he's not dead,

but I think this technically would count against his vacation days. Indeed, this is sick time. Yeah, this is like sick leave, so... He's going to be so bummed out when he wakes up. He's going to be so sad. Yeah, well, you know. Oh, my God. This is why they built into the contract.

No, this is why. Is that what the doctor walks into the room and says? You're the doctor. If the person he was treating was working for him and lying down on the job, yes, absolutely. Yeah, we turn to Eris and we go, don't worry, he's only in a coma, but he's probably going to get fired, so.

Doctor comes out, I'm sorry, it's a coma. This is going to get fired. The doctor comes out. I'm sorry, it's a coma. This is going to be really expensive. He's not going to be able to work. So what do we do? We just let him go. To the sea? We put him in the Salad River?

And we sent him off on a Viking ship. No, he just unceremoniously dumped his body over the side of the ship. Into the river. I think... I'm sorry. I think that's what Ethel would have wanted. I think that's what he would have wanted. He was a simple man. He didn't like a lot of ceremony and, you know...

Is this revenge for you thinking that I killed your best friend? No, I've got past that, thank you. I'm surprised you haven't. What? This is completely unrelated pettiness. We need to go about this in a careful way.

We shouldn't move his body. We should just... We should just wait. There's no need rushing into imagining the worst outcome. We should just wait. I have a question. Joe?

Atticus has woken up. Is he stupefied? Oh. Because he's been stupefied for six months! And that was from a curse, right? Yeah. In the dreamland?

Yeah. Well, it was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was a horrible, horrible dream. It was all a dream. Yeah, you still feel a little hazy. You're going to have to have this curse removed. You're stupid.

So he'll say, we all, we experience too much in there. His body is telling us he needs rest. He needs to be left alone to heal. There is nothing we can do. We must tend to ourselves at the moment and find ways to heal our own weaknesses. And he can feel that he brought it back with him. And it was real, what was happening in there.

Yeah. No, I agree. We should tend to our own ailments. Let him exactly, as Sookie said, lie there until nature run its course. That's not what I said. No, you said, like, leave him there and don't

feed him or anything. No. not what I said. No, you said, like, leave him there and don't feed him or anything. Eris is ignoring you all and just like moving him over to a bed and like tucking him in and like making a little doll for him to hold while he's sleeping and just taking care of him. She crafted a doll?

Yeah. She's really good at crafting dolls. So lots of time is passing here. Can we do other shit? I can just make a doll? Yeah. She's really good at crafting dolls. So lots of time is passing here. Can we do other shit? I can just move the doll. She drags him over pretty quickly. Just cut some of my hair and put eyes on it, you know? Doll. Yeah, we could say some time passes.

I didn't know if you had battle doll crafting. That's right. You can do it during combat. There's a single action. Creepy doll. You do have some time left. Your destination, you've been on the Selen River now for months, but your destination, oddly enough, is the city of Casimir.

This is the heart of Talden shipbuilding. But you do still have a little time before you get there. Now, you wouldn't have seen this, but when Tiny Murder Clown came back on the boat and replaced Ethel in the Dreamlands, Skywind had mentioned, like, oh, well, we've got a little bit of time left, so you've got a little time left.

However, your sojourns into the Dreamlands, all these Dreamlands excursions seem to be over, for now at least. You've met the Mad Poet, and you've found out some deeply disturbing secrets about what Laos is up to. Now, I told you all offline that, you know, this is the time between now and Casimir

is basically downtime, so if you want to retrain some feats, swap out some spells, we can happily hand-wave all those things. It's okay, Sid. It's part of your... We've all been there. And I will continue in my benevolence

by leveling you up. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Wrinkle a level 10. Let's fucking go! Let's fucking go! Let's fucking go!

However, Ethel will remain level 9. Oh no. Wow, punishing the player. Love it. Philly. Oh my god. Honestly, I think we should have a serious conversation about what to do with Ethel

and make a decision about the history of this character without asking Matthew. I put his hand in warm water. I told him, he texted us earlier backstage wishing us a good morrow. That's a good show. And I promised him that we would encase his body in a cocoon of his own feces to keep him safe. As is tradition. As is tradition. He says, if Troy kills Ethel, just don't make him poop himself.

And then Skid said that, and he said, what a relief. Yeah. All right. So I know some of you, because you're good little students, you've prepared this for a while. Let's very quickly go through the highlights of any of these things you've retrained. I know some people are way into these level ups. I mean, there's nothing better. Who plays Pathfinder and

isn't into leveling up? It's like, ah. So let's talk. And if you retrain, I know you and I have been talking. You've done some retraining. I want to hear from the ladies. Let's start with you. Ladies first. So only the fun stuff.

At first I was kind of not so thrilled about getting my plus two bump in charisma. But then I forgot, realized that intimidation, which is what I'm supposed to be using to demoralize, comes from charisma. So like that's really great. I have a plus 20 in intimidation now. Woo! Nice! Hell yes! So I'm gonna be demoralizing everyone. Um, I

took two feats that are interesting. I took incredible familiar, so my familiar, which I use all the time, um, can do so much shit. Um, and I can also retrain what it does every day. Did you know that? Yeah, you knew that? Well, whatever. I didn't know that. And then can also retrain what it does every day. Did you know that? Yeah, you knew that?

Well, whatever. I didn't know that. And then I also took Battle Cry, which is going to be great. So when we start initiative, I can yell a mighty battle cry and demoralize an observed foe as a free action. And if I'm legendary in intimidation,

which I'm not yet, I can do more things. I'm not even going to read that. Who cares? And then spells. Spells. So one spell I took is called blister. It's so gross.

Basically, I can point at a target in range and its skin grows blisters filled with caustic fluid. And then I can point at a target in range and its skin grows blisters filled with caustic fluid. And then I can use an action depending on the level of success or failure that the target has that affects the number of blisters they have. Oh, come on.

And I can take actions to pop them. Oh, Kate. And, and... Who hurt you? And the blister goop goes out in like a cone. Oh, come on. Oh, Kate. And, and. Who hurt you? And the blister goop goes out in like a cone. Oh, come on. Oh, my God. Right?

It's so cool. Anyway, I'm really. This is like Meet the Feebles. It's like you leveled up and turned into Meet the Feebles. What if you put them on their crotch? That wouldn't really do anything. In the pants. That's gross.

But yeah, that's all the really fun stuff. Is that a next level of a spell or still you're at like fifth level? I'm still at level five so I got two more level five spells and that's one of them.

Yeah. Sydney, let's talk about old Suki because you had to do a little switcheroo yourself. I had to do so much shit. I built Suki for fun and I didn't build her

to be a good character but don't worry. It's all different now. So I switched out Verdant Weapon, which I thought would be a silly, fun whip to use. It's stupid, which you found out when you had to play my character. I know. I was like, this sucks. Yeah.

1d4 damage. A bean whip. A bean whip. It's sad to see it go. A bean whip. So I swapped that that and I trained in a new feat, Mature Animal Companion, which I should have gotten a while ago.

Now you need a really big arrow to shoot it. So basically, Pepsi and I have been doing word association games, which looks insane to everyone else, but I'll say something to Pepsi and Pepsi will just go like...

And I'm like, you guess it every time. You're so beautiful. And then Pepsi now can take an action even when I don't use Command Animal. So Pepsi is way more powerful. Oh, that's great. Great.

Awesome. Then I went through a whole rigmarole, and I realized that natural healing, I was using the natural medicine so I could do treat wounds with my nature skill instead of medicine skill, but I realized you can't carry that into continual recovery. Sydney learned a lot about

Pathfinder and I instead of continuing with my nature skill increases, I retrained into medicine And I got rid of natural healing Because it doesn't benefit me anymore And I like to imagine this character wise As Suki has lost people in her life

She's also an elf And she's lost many humans including her previous love And I think she's realized As a youth Nature was it She lived in the wild and it always worked And it's just not enough it is not enough and she has been losing people and like ethel has gone down and she's like i just

can't i'm not strong enough so watching atticus kind of like train in medicine and like aldo as well she's now like realizing i can do medicine i just don't know how to yet so i've i've kind of like in her downtime maybe she's hung out with yet. So I've kind of like in her downtime, maybe she's hung out with Atticus and he's like taught her things or like Aldo has taught her things. And she now is, she has the feat continual recovery

and ward medic. So she, I went all into the healing. So she is basically a pretty good healer now. She's not a cleric, but she's pretty good, and Pepsi got stronger, so that's the big stuff. Nice. Awesome.

That's amazing. Aldo, level 10 Pathfinder 2nd Edition Alchemist. Yeah, so the main thing is I got another couple of formulae. So among them, I got a Lyserium, moderate Lyserium. What's that do? It is sort of, it's like fire, but it's like, it's like alchemist. It's like, oh, it's like alchemist fire and Game of Thrones. So it's like green and a little bit stronger.

So I got a moderate one of those. Yeah, like wildfire. And I got a skunk bomb. Nice. Which is pretty great. So you throw it and it deals poison damage

and any creature hit by it or in the splash area has to do a fortitude save and even if they succeed, they're sickened one. Oh, wow. Wow. And the odor that strikes

them lasts for 10 minutes. Oh, that lingers. Yeah, so that's pretty good. And then the other thing that I got, the class feature or the class feat that i picked is sticky bomb so when i do yeah when i use a a a quick quick way i do quick alchemy use one of my uh infusions that hasn't been pre-prepared i can do it with the sticky bomb additive, and that adds on persistent damage

equal to my, I think to the splash damage. It does additional persistent damage. Even if it already does persistent damage, it does additional persistent damage every round. It stacks. Oh, that's going to be so dope.

That's awesome. That's dope. That's awesome. That's great. That's great. Nothing? Anything? Atticus McGee? Yeah. Yeah, he's got some good shit. Oh, Atticus McGee. So Atticus,

that little scene with Ethel was me playing out after that interaction where we went in the water and got a permanent plus two ability boost. I got that to intelligence. And then I realized that immediately allows you to train another skill. Oh really? Oh yeah. So on the spot I trained medicine because we so desperately need it.

We do. I didn't know you were going all the way. Yeah. Yeah. And so he begins to get this knowledge partially from watching suki and watching aldo and it's just like we just and then mechanically we just need it and then uh he so then you get ability boosts at 10th level as well which are phenomenal and so you get the ability boost at 10th level yeah and so i so i

boosted my wisdom two points, so that helps. So now he can be a healer. And then when I leveled up, I went and took a level one skill feat of battle medicine just so that there's another person on the field that can heal. So if Suki goes down in combat, I could try to bring her back up so that she can do the heal spell and more powerful things. That's huge. Did you guys both take intelligence as your 10 level boost? Yeah. And Suki, did you

take wisdom? I forget, actually, what I took. I think I did take... No, you get four boosts. Oh, you get a shit ton of boosts. I took wisdom, but I took, yeah, I think everything kind of went up. I took intelligence, too, which got me to 20 intelligence. Oh, wow. Me, too. Yeah, same. I didn't take strength, and I got charisma for free, so I got a boost to everything. Well, wow. Me too, yeah, same. I didn't take strength, and I got charisma for free,

so I got a boost to everything. So you got five boosts, basically, in the last session. It's amazing. It's awesome. I regret this. And then I get two new fifth-level spells, of which I will not be discussing this evening until they come out, which is going to be great.

They're both amazing. And then the biggest thing is my class feat. Tenth level class feat. I can now, Atticus can now, once a day, he can cast a spell of third level or lower. Any spell

for one action. Oh, wow. That's a pretty good third level spell. Quickened casting. Nice. So it's like having the quickened thing that, what's it called? Metamagic feet.

Yeah, the metamagic feet that Matthew had. And so, yeah, once a day, so it's two levels below the highest level you can cast. So right now that's fifth level. So third level or lower, if I want to cast like a lightning bolt, I need to desperately do it in like one action, I can do it, which is just really fun.

Nice. That's it. That's awesome. Almost as cool as that Captain Diet that McD just delivered. What? Awesome. I said don't bring anything for Joe. I'm excited for you guys.

You need this. You need this boost because you're starting to get in the zone. You're starting to get a little more tactical. Matthew's not here, which is great. And now you're all stronger. And I told Matthew, because he wasn't in Seattle, he doesn't get that free boost from the Mad Poet.

He's also dead. So we'll go back to you Aldo I imagine you know as you're once you're done making fun of Ethel's coma you're you're just flooded with these memories that it has to stagger you a little

bit you're thinking about all these things the past X amount of years have come back into your mind but that memory of meeting wows has to be echoing in your head since it's so germane to what's happening here and his colleague's name

keeps ringing in your ears Mr. Munn a fellow practitioner of your art Mr. Munn Mr. Munn and you're gonna miss a good part dude he's gotta take his medication. Gosh, damn it. He's got to take his pills.

It's weird. He needs that right now. Mr. Munn. Mr. Munn. Mr. Munn. And then you think back to Iris Hill, where literally no one else in the current party was except for you, because even though Atticus was alive, he was frozen in amber. So you were

the only one to go into Iris Hill, and you start to remember encountering the name Munn while you were there. Now, if this was like a home game, I would be like, well, you didn't have any of your notes, fuck you. But I'm going to tell you what you remember. You were in a dining room at Iris Hill, and you found a ledger with several handwritten receipts tucked into it,

listing a number of alchemical products sent to someone named Myacnean Mun. Oh, that's right. Myacnean. I remember the first name. I didn't... Myacnean Mun. Myacnean Mun. Oh, that's right. Myacnean. I remember the first name. I didn't. Myacnean Mun. Myacnean Mun.

From Casimir. No, I did. Seriously. He did. Don't laugh. It's a weird name. It's not like Steve Mun. Yeah.

I mean. Jimmy Mun. Olivia Mun. Olivia Mun, for example. Myacnean Mun from Casimir. You also found an envelope on top of some crates containing a letter signed by someone named Myacne Mun, which apparently accompanied a delivery of alchemical goods.

In the letter, which I imagine you probably took with you. We don't talk about what you're actually stuffing into your bag, but maybe now as you're starting to think about this, you're digging through your sack and you find this letter. And you see it's from Mun to Laos. And Mun writes, it seems that the mad poet you met in your dream journey was right. The book you seek, the Necronomicon,

is located in a special collection called the Mysterium in the Qadirin city of Qathir, though it is written in necrol. in a special collection called the Mysterium in the Kadiran city of Kthir, though it is written in necrol. If you can find a way to retrieve it and bring it to me, I can certainly help you translate and research it. I look forward to seeing you again, my old friend. It's just funny to think this was book two.

You got this. You're like, I don't know what the hell that means. And I do have my notes, my acne and mun sending alchemical ingredients from Casimir. That's good note taking. Lastly, now I imagine you're frantically searching through your ship. And you...

Joe, what happened? That's right. I had to go to the bathroom, so I just went to the bathroom. The shadow of your face looked like you were all wet to me for a second, and I was like, what did you do? Why are you all wet? It took a quick dip. That's why I reacted that way. It took a quick dip in the green room pool.

I just dunked his head in the toilet. Dude, that green room is sick. The water slide, the high dive, it's amazing. It's really awesome back there. You're digging through your shit, and you find a notebook that you found in Iris Hill, which I imagine Atticus has spent some time with as well. I don't know if you're sharing this information with him or not.

With who? With you. Alvo is remembering the name. No, no, I am. Mahakni and Mun. You remember this? Look in my notes from 2022. Here, look. I just did a word search

it popped right up stop talking to me in Australia time yeah I think Aldo and Atticus I really love this honestly this relationship over time

as it's grown of the seeking of knowledge and the sharing of knowledge and like well there's Bond too that we have being the only two original people

from the sanatorium right and trying to figure out like you too, that we have, being the only two original people from the sanatorium. Right, and trying to figure out the answers through books. Yeah, we're the only two people that this specific thing happened to that are left alive. Yeah. Yeah. So check this shit out. You read this book.

You find this notebook. Check this shit out. You find this notebook. And it's funny because, again, you're getting this information earlier in the story, and it doesn't make any sense to you, but now, holy shit, because it lists the names of all of Lowell's test subjects, as well as a lengthy series of notes about his suspicion

that Oliver Zandalus was the key to discovering Neruzavan, the lost city in Kazmaran that holds three star stelae similar to those in Thrushmore. Kazmaran! Kazmaran. And you fucking flip through it, and at the end...

The last few entries in the notebook. We're having a good time. Why do you guys read books like that? Like, Suki and Eris are just outside. Get out of the room! Shut the door, Dad! I'm just reading, shut up!

I'm just reading! I'll be done in a minute my god the last entries in the notebook detail Aldo don't miss this it details Aldo, Atticus, Halster, Mrs. O'Lady, Burl

all identified by their real names, along with accurate data about their race, their gender, their height, their weight, all of which the count referred to when administering the exact dose of a special sleeping drug provided to the count by, you guessed it, my acne and my acne and mine. Shocker. by, you guessed it, my acne and mud. Sha-ka-ka-ka-ka. So now, you know that, or you assume that Laos is going to this,

this mysterium in Kadira, in the city of Kadir, but Kadir and Kadira is still farther south. You are about to arrive in Casimir, in the nation of Taldor. So, as you are about to arrive here in Casimir, you really

only have one lead. And that's my acne and mun. Someone named my acne and mun who you remember, but it's foggy. It's like coming back to you slowly. I imagine it's not the type of thing where like, now you got all your memories back. And you have everything back to you slowly. I imagine it's not the type of thing where like, now your memory's back. You're like, oh, oh, and you have everything back.

You're starting to piece this slowly. Not like I'm reading. Slowly, right. Vicky liked that one. You've retrained some feats. You've retrained some spellsats You've retrained some spells Ethel's still in a coma holding a doll And you're less than an hour from the docks You can see the city of Casimir

Starting to come into view Up ahead Let's say you're up on top of the deck And Skywin Freeling, the captain, comes up and she sees this, maybe something more like a water, like a fucking water and not sad music. Oh, nice music?

Yeah, nice music. Suki's on the bow looking sad. We have very, very little nice music because very little nice things happen. Maybe some club music. Club? No, you're up on the boat with Skywin, and you're long...

Dancing. It's so good to be back. You guys have been together for a long time. Months. Atticus is in line at the keg. Come on. Spinny pal, finish up. Spinny pal, let's go.

She's a little wistful as your journey is coming to an end. You've spent a lot of time together. And maybe she gathers you up on deck as the journey is coming to an end. You've spent a lot of time together and maybe she gathers you up on deck as the crew is preparing to land and she's like, well, well, my friends, it has been a journey.

We have, my crew and I, we've traveled up and down the celling from... ... ......... selling from... Dinky! Shut up the music! She can still talk and we can dance together. People do that.

You're really killing the vibe right now. Well, I just, I don't know... We're just so happy to get our memories back. Dinky, enough. I'm trying to delete my memory. Dinky's on the... It is a dance party. We don't need exposition right now. We need to rock around, to rock around.

That's right, our time is tricky. Dinky, no, don't change the song. Just stop. There's a man in a coma. Three feet below us. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. Don't let it kill the vibe, man.

Let her talk. Let her talk. Sorry. What I'm trying to say is there'll be time to celebrate. But now is the time to say our goodbyes. I've traveled up and down the cellar with my crew numerous times, from Thrushmore to Casimir. More times than I can remember.

And it's always a new adventure. I must say I am sorry for the losses that you experienced. Sorry. For your friends died. Many of your friends died. For the listening audience, Sidney's ears fell off. Oh, my God. So she's just dealing with that at the moment.

But we're all listening. They just tumbled off the stage. Sorry, Dinky keeps making a face at me. Dinky, stop, stop. I guess what I'm trying to say is you four or five are on a path unlike any I've ever encountered. And I'd be lying if I didn't see more heartache in your future. Especially considering her leprosy.

I've seen that before. It's been a long journey. She's holding two bloody ears. Why? Suki, I think you took too much. Your ears are there. They're not in your hands. This happens a lot. You still have your ears, Suki, I think you took too much. Your ears are there. They're not in your hands. This happens a lot.

You still have your ears, Suki. Suki did a bit of magic mushroom. She's having her own trip. Oh, my God! This happens a lot at the end of a long journey. It's true. I guess what I'm trying to say is if whatever you're looking for isn't worth it, I know

Casimir. It's a fine place to start over. You can get lost here if there are people that are after you, or you're tired of the things that you seek. You could start a new life here in Casimir and forget

whatever it is that brought you this far. I don't know. I just wanted to let you know that that was a possibility. If I was to start a new life, if I had to do it over again at any point, I would choose to be on your crew. Oh. I would choose to be on your crew. Aww. You truly watched over us at a time when we literally could not be more vulnerable.

Our bodies could so easily have been destroyed by anyone who sought to take advantage of us, and you never let that happen. And you are as much a hero in this tale as Suki is. No. No. Now, now. Now, now.

I'm much more important than that. And to think I was going to compliment you next, Skywynn. Never mind. That's very nice of you to say, Atticus. You know, I told you when you came aboard, sure you were paying your way, but that you would be considered

a part of our little family here, and that means a lot to me. Does anybody else want to say something nice? I'll go. I know that I've been cheeky with you, I suppose,

a few times in the past. But now, having spent several decades with you on this boat, I've found I've come to find your company not completely disagreeable, and I wouldn't go so far as to say if I were to be reincarnated

that I'd like to be working on this ship. But I suppose, well, that says it all. I appreciate that. I really do. Eris, you... just sort of appeared one day. But you have shown yourself to be capable, even though you have made everyone uncomfortable

with just your general comportment and everything about you. But you've been kind. And for that, I appreciate it. Have I? No, but I didn't really have anything nice to say. So I thought I'd put out something bland like that. When you don't have anything nice to say, just say that they're nice. But I've seen the way you care for your dead friend.

Dying dead. And that sort of empathy that you show to him, that means a lot. I wish that were I to be in a coma, that someone would show the same care that you show that young man. Well, maybe the first step is to not be like, you're a creepy, when they're

not being creepy. I know, but you make everyone uncomfortable. You talk to your doll. Because my doll has a soul in it. Okay, alright. Let's not go too far. You know, we have someone down here with a soul in him

but we're still talking about him He's dead, I guess everyone here is better than me and I'm the creepy bad one Alright Okay You've officially killed my vibe For the last time I can't wait to get off this fucking boat

I'm gonna throw myself into the water in two seconds for the last time. I can't wait to get off this fucking boat. I'm going to throw myself into the water in two seconds if we don't turn the DJ music back on. And you were a fish that jumped into our boat, yes? Sorry. Yes, I was going to say thank you for accepting me

even though I too showed up one day. You could have said no. You could have turned me away. Yes, we considered it, but we rolled a die and decided to keep you. You are an excellent captain. Well, that's very kind. Come here. And she leans

in so close. And her hair, like, brushes against your face. And she whispers in your ear, There are so many seagulls living in the crow's nest now. I told them not to leave. Good luck. Oh, man. Oh, and I'm the creepy one.

Okay. Oh, man. Oh, and I'm the creepy one. Okay. Oh, man. Well, anyhow, I'm glad our journey is coming to an end. Should you decide to start a new chapter or not,

I myself have started one as I have... You're getting married. Well, no. She kind of blushes. I mean, we'll see. Someone has... You're in love.

Someone has come into my life that I really never expected. Is it pancake? I've taken a lover into my cabin. Oh, that's lovely. Who is it? It's never too late, not even at your age. to my cabin as a kid. Oh, that's lovely.

Who is it? It's never too late, not even at your age. It's, um, it's O.J. Simpson. I'll, uh... The Jews. The Jews! I'll admit, I'll admit,

I was like you at first. First, I saw him as a simple running joke. But he has an inexplicable charm once you get to know him. He's got the juice. He may be a running joke, but he did run for 2,000 yards in a single season. Yes, well. It's pretty impressive. You were gone so often, and we just stayed up late at night,

and one thing led to another. And what, anything else you want to know? were gone so often and we just stayed up late at night and one thing led to another and what anything else you want to know? No. Can we put the music off the ship? No, they should leave immediately. End scene.

And so you see Casimir pull into the distance and it docks. It docks in Casimir. And the crew gets off and starts tying down the ship and everything. Like, what are you going to do?

You have no leads whatsoever. Well, we have one lead. My acne and mon. My acne and mon. But like, what do you know about him? What do you want to know? Anyone know mon? We'll start there.

He's just yelling from the dark. Skyward's like, what? You can't just yell at people on the top. What is it that you're looking for? Sorry, I'm stupefied. What are your plans here? What are your plans here when you get to Casimir? It's a bite to eat. We've been on the boat for so long.

Yes, food is good. I feel I need to find some sort of healer. Someone who To eat? We've been on the boat for so long. Yes, food is good. Stretch our legs a bit. I feel I need to find some sort of healer. Someone who could address this curse that I labor under. I don't know where, but perhaps a temple or church of some kind. Yes, yes, there are. Is there any you'd recommend? I don't know the city as well as I used to. It changes so much every time I

come back, but I do know the harbormaster. He'll be coming here shortly to inspect the boat. A man by the name of Brerent Dalvos. I wouldn't necessarily call him a friend, but we've had a professional relationship ever since I got the Sellen Starling and

began working the river. He might be able to recommend. He's a bit of an ornery sort, but you could ask him about maybe a temple. I don't know what god you'd be looking for, but we could find something, I'm sure. What would I be looking for? Well, you need a healer. It would have to be a healer that's dedicated some deity, no? Yes, indeed. Quite powerful, in fact.

So, yes, I will ask. Okay, good, good. Healer, anything else? I don't know if I can be of help. What about your crew? Are they just going to stay with you? Are they moving on? Yes, yes, they're my crew.

They're my family. We'll stay here for a few days and look for new people to take back. That's pretty much my life. I go up and down the cellar. Maybe we'll take a week. See what's going on here. Okay.

Do you want to... You guys want a drink? No. No. No. No, not anymore. What? I think we're busy.

Okay. Yeah, no, we've got... Sure, you know, I'm busy too. Yeah, I've got stuff. We just don't want to hang out with you. That's stuff I want to do with OJ. Better if we don't. I'm going to take in a show. Do you happen to know...

The restaurant he wants to take me to. Do you happen to know of any libraries that there might be to find information? Libraries? No. Or records? Something of the sort. No, no, I don't...

So you're not very helpful. You keep asking if we have questions. Just making conversation as we've spent so much time together and we won't be seeing each other for a while. I don't know any libraries per se. There's, I mean, there's this group. I know any libraries per se. There's this group. I know this one gnome. He actually built the plans for my boat.

He created the plans for the Selen Starling. And he's pretty well connected here in Casimir. I don't know if he has any connections in libraries per se, but he's part of this group called the Esoteric Knights of Evolvement. Sounds very fancy pants. I don't know what goes on there, but you can always seek him out. His name is Ethan Baylor. Ethan Baylor.

He's a bleachling gnome, actually. Bleachling gnome, yes. Pretty well connected. And as you can see, the ship has taken us all the way here. No problems with the ship. And so he may be able to help you. I'm sure he could lead you to a library. A bit standoffish, but just tell him you know me.

And those are all the people I know in Casimir. Right. Okay. So as you arrive in Casimir, aboard the Selen Starling, Right. Okay. the center of industry and you see Casimir's citizens like swarming about on their daily tasks, filling the air with laughter and shouts amid the workyard's din. A city towers at the edges of this

swamp. It's called Blackwood Swamp and there's a mouth of rickety buildings that grin like rotten teeth around a calm harbor that's crammed with vessels. There's a great castle overlooking the bay, proudly flying the flag of Taldor.

Yet just beyond the dike that surrounds the city, the swampland gropes its way outward, hungrily drawing buildings into its belly. So the crew is docking, and you do see, maybe after like a half an hour or so, the harbormaster approaching this Breran Dalvo. She's like, ah, there's Breran now. This guy comes up, human.

He's like, well, Miss Freeling, it appears your ship has finally come in! If you'll excuse the ship metaphor. You have some sort of benefactor here in Tal'Dor. A senator no less, apparently. No name was given beyond

his title, but his check cashed. That's all I care about. Your docking fees have been covered for the next five years From this Mysterious benefactor She's like really And she looks at the four of you

And she's like Tell it to me What? The senator The one we saved Oh yes Oh he was going to cast him in. Oh, yes.

He must have made good on his promise. Wow, so generous. Wait, how come you get it? Yeah, wait a second. We're the ones who saved. Why do you benefit? We should go find him. Thank you, Breran.

Thank you. How much do those talking fees cost? We'll turn them into cash. I think we should be getting a reward, not her. That's all that was given. It was said it was meant for the Selen Starling when it came into port here, and that Skywyn Freeling was meant to be the recipient.

Who are you, he says with a scowl. And Skywyn's like, oh, these are friends of mine. The people who actually deserve the reward that was given by the senator. Perhaps. Perhaps you recognize us. Brevin, they have some, they're looking for information about the city. Perhaps you could aid them, aid an old friend.

He's like, well, I'm very busy. Very, very busy. What is it that you want to know? Do you have any knowledge of a temple nearby? A church, perhaps? What kind of church? Seren Ray. Seren Ray, yeah, there's a church at Seren Ray.

Right over there, take a right and left and right and left, it's right there, you'll see it. Oh, wonderful, wonderful. Is it rather a large temple or sort of a small dedication? Oh, it's small, not too large. Shit. I'm sure they have everything you need there for your downtime activity.

It is oddly specific thing to say. Do we have any money? Matthew's not here. I don't know. No, sorry. Do we have any money? I have a lot of money. You do?

I don't know why. Do you really have money, or did you make a mistake? Yeah. Skip. It's a fair question. I've made mistakes in the past. I have a lot of money, even in real life. Yeah.

I've made that same mistake. Yeah, I've made it in the past, so I thought, I have a lot of money, even in real life. Yeah. I've made that same mistake. Yeah, I've made it a dozen times. I'll check in on this, but it does seem like an exuberant amount of money. How much do you think we have? How much does it show that we have? I have a thousand. This isn't a we. This is just on our tarot sheet.

It's nonsense. There's no way. Gold pieces. Let's just move on. That's too much gold. That's like Bill Gates. Any other questions? I'm very busy

I got other ships to look at and stuff What else? Anything else you want to know? Do you know anything about where this benefactor went? Maybe The senator

No I was just I was handed a check I thought it was a novelty check He probably had some staff to do it Like something you get

from Publishers Clearinghouse Damn it A big one I laughed I laughed. I laughed. I thought it was very funny, but sure enough, it's real money. Didn't say anything about you. No more questions. I'm going to move on after I finish

my inspection of the boat. Thanks. Have you ever heard the name of man? Has that name ever come across your desk? Desk? I'm stupefied.

His eye curls, Mun. Yes, Mun. Two Ns. What else do you know? Your first name of this Mun? My Acnean. My Acneian Mun. Yes. I've heard of Myaknian Mun. We get shipments for him from time to time.

Myaknian Mun, yeah. Shipments from where? And to where do they get delivered? Well, it comes from all over. I'd have to look at my ledges to see where, but we get shipments and we bring them to his house, I suppose. I don't handle that. I'm the boss. Okay. Is there a place we could find out where his house is?

Why are you so interested in this Munn character? I can't just give out addresses of random citizens to my city to some rat? Because he killed our friend! And I pick up the body, the coma body of Ethel. I throw him down the gangplank. He's dead! He's dead. Did you see that? Oh, God! Look what he did to him!

Oh, my God! I've been holding him the whole time. Well, look, there he is. He killed him? Well, if you don't point it to him, you're going to have to answer for this, because someone's going to have to. Are you threatening me, sir? Well, only if you're suggesting being threatened, and you're all right with it.

I mean, if you're game, I am. You win this round. I don't know what you want to know. I don't feel comfortable just giving away this address in Skyward. It's like, Brevin, I've been with these people for months now. It feels like years. And they're good people, and they're part of something that... I'm not going to lie to you. months now. It feels like years. And, um, they're good people and they're part of something that

I'm not going to lie to you. It's very complicated. But they're after something and this man-fellow may have something to do with it. They mean no harm. They're on the side of good. If you could share the address with them, I would be much obliged. He's like, well...

All right. Ooh, diplomacy. If you could share the address with them, I would be much obliged. He's like, well... All right. Ooh, diplomacy. I'll give you the address, but I'll tell you this. If any shit comes back to me, I'll know who to look for. You and you and you and you and Skywin. Though your dock fees have been paid for, I could take them away like that. So,

take your dead friend and here, here's the address. We fish him out of the river and... Pull him out. Pull him out of the fishing net. I drag him out. We get a fishing net and pull him out. Pull him out. the fishing net. I drag him out. Get a fishing net and pull him out. Just like particles and dock trash all in his face, in his mouth.

Swamp algae just all over his mouth. I scoop it out. Pull him out. Are you just going to drag him around, Casimir? Yeah, we are. We're going to use the net. We should put him. Yeah, we don't have anything with, like,

wheels. We're just dragging him along the streets. Dragging his comatose body through the streets of Casimir. As he's doing the inspection, you have the address to my acne and Mun's house, I guess. And as they're going about that, a messenger

bearing the mark of the Church of Abadar rolls up. And he says, I can't, hello. Oh, hello. Oh, hello. I am Atticus Grimm, and who are you? Atticus Grimm, you're actually the person I was looking for. I come with news from a friend that you aided here on your journey south to Casimir. Oh, no.

The senator. I don't know his title. He only told me, hold on, and he pulls out a paper. He said, remember our time together with the Stardust Augers? It's the senator. So that is him. Again, I don't know. It doesn't have a name on it.

No, we're telling you it is. I don't mean to be disrespectful. Why? It is important. I don't just want to hear from someone that is sent for me. I want to know who you are. Are you? What is your name?

My name? My name is Finicky Wet Whistle. Father Finicky Wet Whistle. Father? Father. I'm a priest. Perhaps he could cure your curse. What level are you?

What level are you? Why, I'm 14th. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I'm a priest. Or perhaps he could cure your curse. What level are you? What level are you? Why, I'm 14th. Oh, shit. Oh, you're going to have more friends. Oh. I just got it today for a quest I went on with my friends. Father Finicky Whistle, Priest of Abaddon. You're level 14 or you're 14 years old?

I don't understand the question. You can't do that in your character voice because they don't understand that term well let me tell you why I'm here this person left something for you back at the church of Abadar it's not far

let's go want to come with old father for the kids yes of course for you back at the Church of Abadar. It's not far from here. Let's go. Want to come with old Father Finicky? Yes, of course. Yes, indeed, Father. Lead the way. Let us pray. Yes. Oh, wonderful. Let's join hands here. Dear

fake God. Wow, a real devoted priest. I see you're a Unitarian. I didn't expect... Thank you for helping my friends and I go through that quest yesterday that got me to 14th level.

Though they all died and I got all of the XP, I feel as if your watchful hand guided me to safety while it crushed them. Please watch over my new friends and I as we walk a block and a half to the Temple of Abadar. Keep us safe from thugs and storms.

Thugs and storms. Thugs and storms prayer. I love this one. I love you so much. And should we ever meet, I would like to have a hug. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Amen indeed. You want to come with me, Father Finicky? Yes. Yes. Lead the way. And so you leave the boat. You leave the Selen Starling behind. Skywyn waves at you and she says,

Don't forget the Esoteric Knights of Evolvement. Ethan Bela. OJ waves as well. And then you never see them again. Good. Thank you. Yes. Yes.

And you walk with Father Finicky Wet Whistle, 14th level priest of Abadar, a block and a half through the street. Slash messenger. Slash messenger. Here we are. Seconds later. Come on in. Here we are. Seconds later. Come on in.

Oh, I didn't tidy up. And it's like, it's a big temple. And he's like, all right, this guy over here has got whatever it is that was the message or something. So you can talk to him. I'm just going to stand here. And there's like a guy at a desk and he's writing. He's like, Red Whistle, what is it?

He's like, these are the ones from the Stardust Ogres note. He's like, ah. Yes, and he just throws a coin purse on the table. Ooh. Oh. He's like, 1,500 gold pieces. Oh! Whoa! Alright. It's like 1,500 gold pieces. Oh! Whoa!

All right. It's for you from your benefactor. Anything else you need? Yes. Well, then tell Wet Whistle. He goes back to writing in his ledgers. Father Wet Whistle. Please call me Father Finicky. Does it make any call me Father Finicky.

Does it make any sense? Father Finicky. No, that doesn't sound right. Father Wet Whistle. Father Wet Whistle. Father Wet Whistle. You act as if you became a priest today and you are 14th level

well I went into this dungeon third level and then everyone just sort of died as well as the enemy I came out more powerful than I've ever been it was the strangest thing it's like when Gandalf told them all to run More powerful than I've ever been. It was the strangest thing. It's like when Gandalf told them all to run.

He got all the XP from that. It's the same fucking thing. The same fucking thing. So here we are. Well, in your recent enlightenment. Yes. In Father Finicky, Father Wet Whistle, you seem so very wise. Yes. Got two years left to college.

Is there any chance that you had happened to pray for the spell Remove Curse? Oh, yes. I learned it yesterday. Oh, this is indeed fated. Oh, I've been meaning to try this one. Now, I might be a little rusty, but I would be up for it. Do you have a curse? Are you dirty? I know. Now that is a very inappropriate way to discuss someone with a curse. No, my superiors always ask me, are you a dirty boy?

And then I sort of black out. That's how I went from first to third level. Look at Kate's face. I'm going to get banned from doing this. Well, you want me to try it? Please give it a go. All right. Everyone is watching.

Everyone is just waiting. We're just watching. All right, let me see. I think I know how to do this. Come here. Where's that nasty little curse? Where is it? Atticus is just turning his head to the side.

Please make it be quick. Zuki's taking notes because she's like, this is how they really do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should know how to do this. Oh, the wet whistle's going to find it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh. There she is. Oh, she wet whistle's going to find it. Oh, oh, oh, oh. There she is. Oh, she's a nasty little curse, isn't she? His voice dropped in our group. Come here. Come here. It's part of the spell. It's part of the spell.

Part of the spell. Oh, you're a right hairy one, aren't you? Come here, you son of a bitch. Got it! And he removes the curse. But at what cost? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck. I just can't get over how everyone's like,

it's just so weird and you creep everyone out. And we have not met like a regular ass person yet. You're letting him heal you and look at him. That was intense. I never want to hear it again. Honestly, if any of you need any healing from me. I don't need. I recommend it.

Nope. No. Nope. No. Did you get your money? You should pick up your money. Take your money. He made me realize that money doesn't matter. You made me realize that money doesn't matter. No.

Fuck! I am going out by myself now. If you ever need healing or just want to talk on the phone, you know where to find Father Wedwiser. Goodbye. And he leaves.

Sometimes when we talk. Holy shit. So a lot's happened since you arrived in Casimir. You met the harbormaster, Brevin Dalvos. He told you, he gave you my acne in Mun's address. However, you did find out from Skywyn that she knows somebody, a bleachling gnome that is involved with some sort of secret society. Suki, you were looking for a library.

Maybe it's someone you want to talk to, or maybe you want to just go straight to Mun's lab. I mean, you just got here. You tell me what you want to do. That we're flush with cash for the first time ever, unless Sydney's notes are correct. So I'd like to take a visit to this Bleach Gnome. That sounds pretty interesting.

Oh, indeed, yes. Let me do that first. Yes. So you want to go to find out a little more about this Bleachling Gnome. And now, for those of you who aren't familiar with Pathfinder sort of lore, you want to talk about the Bleachling Gnomes? Oh, yeah. This is really, really cool.

Well, I know the bleaching. So, yeah, gnomes are... Nerd! Skid's got something explaining to do. It is time for Nerdish! We love you, Nick Lowe. Skid, explain Bleachling Gnomes. We love you, Nick Lowe.

Skin, explain Bleachling Gnomes. Bleachling Gnomes, like, they have to constantly have new experiences. They have to be constantly discovering new things, or else they undergo the bleaching, they call it. And they slowly wither away and die, unless they're constantly being exposed to new stuff. You said it better than anyone at this table could. I currently play a gnome in our campaign. I GM a gnome. You GM on my gnome?

Yeah, that's right. All right, so let's gather some information here. Let me get some diplomacy checks. You guys just roll them and tell me what you rolled you're trying to find out like more about these esoteric knights of evolvement where do they hang out maybe some information about them go ahead and give me a gather information diplomacy

you're talking around at bars do you know how many natural 20s I rolled today playing fast time I rolled like 3, 4 natural 20s on my GCP die that I'm rolling tonight. Second natural one in the row. Those are for sale outside the door. So real terrible. No one wants to talk to you because they're grossed out by your appearance.

Everyone's like, you're the kind of weird that no one likes. I have to ask this. Where is Ethel? Are you just pushing him around in a wheelbarrow? We're dragging him in the fishing net. There's pieces of tin in it with him that are tinking along the ground as we're dragging the fishing net with

algae in it. The algae's in his mouth. He's covering dust from the fishing net. We are doing a weekend at Bernie's and we put him in the bar and I put glasses on him weekend at Bernie's and we put him in the bar and I put glasses on him and a little hat and we put a pint

in front of him and we just let him chill. Yes, yeah. Well, that's fun. Yeah. That's fun. In other words, treated with the utmost

respect and dignity. And I drew like a little mustache on him and I drew a dick on his cheek. You guys are doing this and I'm trying to catch up with like wiping off and pulling the seat out. I just keep drawing on his cheek. You guys are doing this, and I'm trying to catch up with wiping off, pulling the seat out.

I just keep drawing more dicks. Unfortunately, he has shit himself several times. Ethel, no, not again. No, no, Ethel. Let's find in the... I thought it would stop when we stopped feeding him, but it just keeps happening. Where is it all coming from? Where is it all coming from?

Where is it all coming from? Come on. How did applesauce turn into that? I mean, I've been feeding himself. All right, so whatever this tavern is. She rolled terribly. What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing?

Let's actually, in a tavern, after all the dick drawing, let's get a room. Let's get a room that we pay for where we can lay him in a room. We don't have rooms here. We only serve alcohol. Is there an inn nearby? Right across the street.

You go in there and the guy's like, we're all full. No rooms left. You sound exactly like the other proprietor. You mean my brother? What's his name? Did you talk to that son of a bitch? I opened up this tavern 25 years ago to the day. And he had to open a tavern right across the street.

Wait, so yours is also a tavern, but you have an inn, but he doesn't. That's right. He couldn't afford an inn. Why won't he board guests? What. Why won't he board guests? What? Why won't he board guests? He doesn't have any rooms. I got all the rooms

in the will. You got the rooms? What will? Our parents. Our parents. They died on the same day? Yes. Yes.

You can say that. Was it a terrible accident? And you see it's called the Menendez Brothers Tavern. Oh my God. Yes, they died on the same day. A horrible coincidence. Yes, it was terrible, terrible. But look at it.

I got a nice bar out of it. And I got all the rooms. Any other questions? But you're full up. You don't have any rooms. Not a single room. Wait, hold on. What, is he looking at a computer? I got all the rooms. Any other questions? But you're full up. You don't have any rooms. Not a single room. Wait, hold on.

What, is he looking at a computer? Yeah, he's looking at his laptop. Oh, my God. Where did he get that? What is that fascinating device? Do he lose his mind? Don't worry about it. This is my dad's.

We do have a room. We have one room. We'll take it. With three beds and enough space for one dead body. We'll take it. It's weird that I wrote that in the notes. You want that?

Yeah, yeah. 1,500 gold. Oh, no. That is excessive. That's extortionate, sir. We won't pay it. We'll go across the street. All right. 15 silver pieces and go across the street. All right.

15 silver pieces and not a penny less. All right. All right. That's by the hour. Wait a minute. That's how my customers like this place. By the hour. Wait a minute.

There is so much dirty shit going on in this city. I know. I don't like this city so far. All right, so we'll put up Ethel and then just gather information. We prop him up in a corner. And then we will, yeah, people will, I will not, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to gather information.

Okay. Are any of you gathering information? I'll follow around what other people say. He's finding himself as he advances in his knowledge of the dark stuff and what lies beyond, he finds he can't talk to people. He's having a really hard time just talking to regular people. He has no training in diplomacy. It's so low, and I think that that's representative of his intense knowledge of shit that people shouldn't know.

And he's starting to get very skittish around people. Suki, how's your diplomacy? Are you a talkative person? Do you go back? Are you one of those people that checks in the hotel and is like, I'm hitting the bar? No. Where'd you fly in from? Oh, God.

Suki's losing. Suki just can't. Also in a similar vein. But because she hasn't been anywhere in so long. She was kidnapped. She was with the Water Rat crew. Yeah. And now she...

All hail the Water Rat. All hail the Water Rat. Man, fuck that guy. We hate that guy. Nyrell, twice born, hated ass. Your ex-husband. Anyway, so she hasn't been in social settings in a long time,

so she's very overwhelmed, and this is because I rolled a four. Okay. Alright, so you're the last one. Did you have a good diplomacy? Did you have a good time? I rolled a three. Oh my god. I rolled a natural two, and my diplomacy is one. We're so

awkward. Alright, so you learned nothing about the esoteric nights of evolvement, and I guess you want to go to sleep, kind of settle in. You have some information. You have an address, and you wake up the next day. What are your plans? It's Tuesday. Wait, we have the address of the Bleachling Gnome and the address of my acne and mine.

You don't know where the Knights of Esoteric Evolvement are. Sorry, the Bleachling Gnome is the Knights. He's one of these members. One and the same. Of this society. I guess we go to Mun. Perhaps Mun knows more of this gnome and more of other things.

But Mun is tied up in this whole criminal conspiracy. He's partially responsible for the hour of dilemma. I thought you didn't speak to me. I think we should be as prepared as we possibly can be before we present ourselves to him. In case things get violent. Especially considering that our most violent

person is currently unavailable. Indeed. Perhaps we can try again. You, all, speaking with people, see if you can hear anything of the night. It has, after all, been a day. Does anyone know about a loam, a bleach

loam? If you don't tell us, we're going to fight you. I rolled a 17 this time. Far more charming. I'm really much better at intimidating people into getting what I want. She can do that. So you start yelling at the concierge. And Aldo comes up and is like, hey, hey, hey.

We just want to know, do you know anything about this Knights of Esoteric Evolvement? And the concierge is like, the knights. Yes, they're a group of visionaries, wealthy merchants who have all this extra time on their hands because they don't have to work a minimum wage job like people like me all this time to indulge themselves in other interests they do contain many nobles and notables in Casimir society

but you know they don't ask people like me just a lowly concierge to join and maybe I'd want to join if somebody asked me but no one ever asked me. They only asked me for directions and the best place for happy hours.

But they do hang out at a place called the Septon House. So, uh... Can I do a society check to see if I've heard anything about them? Yeah. Oh, that's much better. That's a 37.

No, it's not uncommon in any of these towns to have like the Knights of Columbus or like the This is the equivalent of the Knights of Columbus or the Masons. Maybe, you know, like a Masonic type situation. That's not uncommon. You've heard of this, Oliver Galarian,

like a secret society, and sometimes it's just like a men's club. But nothing beyond that. But maybe there's a little more than meets the eye. This guy seems a little miffed that he didn't get

sponsored for membership. But he does tell you about the Scepter House and he gives you directions to where it is. Let's go. Let's go. All right, so you show up at the Sceptered House. It's an inn, actually. Not unlike the inn from Mr. Menendez

that you're staying at, the Menendez Brothers Inn. And you walk inside and it looks like a library inside. Suki, you were looking for a library. There's cramped like little book-filled chambers all off of each hallway. You can see each hallway is full of books and everything is linked by

these oddly twisting staircases. The walls are leaning because they're so full of books. There's little corners you can see people reading and writing at. And a human woman, she kind of comes right up. There's no desk or anything. She's like, how can I help you? Oh, um.

Good morning I'm with it, I'm very busy We're looking for someone named Ethan Aren't we all, Missy? I'm 63 years old And I've been looking for someone my whole life. Perhaps you know where he is. His name is Ethan Baylor. He's part of the Esoteric Knights of Involvement.

I know Ethan, yeah. He's one of our members. It's a private club, though. We're not accepting memberships at this time. No, no, we don't want... Not for the likes of you. We don't want to be members. We're simply looking to talk to him.

We were sent here by a friend of his. Oh, really? What's their name? Menendez. I believe. Menendez. Well... I know him.

He's here actually we count him as one of our members you're not up to any trouble are you no of course not we just have to speak with him do we look like we're up to trouble I mean look at you alright

this is a place to study and learn and people so you go back there there's a room back there and to the left. He's all holed up. But good luck. He doesn't like strangers.

You never asked me my name. What's your name? What's your name, love? Molly Mab. Molly Mab? That's in the book. Really? Thank you, Molly, so much.

I'm a neutral female human rogue at level two. Expert level three. I'm completely unimportant to the narrative. Oh. But they gave me an ancestry and five levels. And a name. Oh. Any other questions?

Well, it sounds like it should be worth a good bit of XP if you were to... I literally, I was literally just like

Atticus Cass Phantasmal Killer. Tell me. Never too early to start investing in that next level. What do you fear? Not being loved. So a lifetime of lovelessness

manifests before her eyes. And she sees there's no point in going on. Roll a will save. All right, let's just, come on. You go back to the left. You go back, you follow her directions. The door that's like half cracked. You knock, you just fucking storm in.

Yeah, weapons drawn. Everybody up against the wall! No, we'll come by. Knowing that this gnome is not a fan of strangers, but neither am I, he will knock at the door. He's like, I'm very busy. I've got to give him a voice.

Is this how you find your voices? We're seeing the process right now? It's my process. You're going to see it all. I'm very busy. I'm very busy. I'm very busy. Please come back another time. Oh, my.

I don't want to talk to him. This is very Harry T. I want to see this guy. Good. Is this Noam about to do some thonks? That works. Very busy. They're playing basketball

all around the world. Please go away. We're sorry to disturb. Only a moment of your time, please. Very, very busy. Aren't we all? Just, please, a moment of your time, please. I like belly pussy. No, aren't we all? Just, please, a moment of your time. Keep talking.

So do you open the door? Because it's cracked. It's not closed. Yeah, he will push the door open. All right, so you open the door, and you see this small little gnome. He's got snow white hair and snow white features, big bushy white eyebrows, And he's just sitting there.

He doesn't even look up. And he's just pawing over dozens of ship plants. I actually have a photo of him I will show to you right now on the old World Twin Zone. Isn't that? Huh. Nope. Oh, my God. That would be bad. There he is.

There we go. All right. And he's just looking over the ship stuff. And he's like, what is it? It looks like Billy Idol. I'm very busy. What do you want? I'm very busy. What do you want? I'm very busy.

I told you not to come in. He's not even... We are indeed very, very sorry to interrupt, but we do come on urgent business. Suki, please, if you would. Mr. Berler, is it? That's not how I pronounce my name

but... Ethan Barlow? No, that's not right either but yes, I'm the person that you are looking for. Captain Skywind sent us. His bushy white eyebrow perks up. Oh. Skywind feeling, yes.

I designed her boat. The Stellan-Stalin. The Stellan-Stalin. Terrible, terrible name. I never liked it, naming it after a river. I told her to call it the... The Jackhammer. I said we should call it the Jackhammer

because this ship bucks the jack. You should call it the Jackhammer because this shit fucks with the Jackhammer. I'm starting to get the vibe of this city. I'm really starting to get it now. Such an aggressive name for a barge. This city is so fucking weird. Everyone here is so horny. I don't understand it.

This is the horniest city. This is the horniest place I've ever been. Something is going on with Troy. Something's wrong. It's only Thursday. There's like three more days of this. Yeah, it's the first day of JetCon. We come out hot 24-7! Anyway, she didn't like that name.

The ship... So your friends of Miss Freeling? Yes. How is the boat? Have you seen the... It fucks. It does. It definitely does.

You're right, sir. Confirm. We were on it, and it fucked. You're damn right it does. I designed it. I designed it. I designed it to fuck. It is in excellent condition.

It carried us well. Good, good, good. He keeps looking over his papers. Well met and all that. I'm sure they told you we're not accepting new members. Very nice to meet you. Any friend of Skyward is a friend of mine. Membership is not

our concern at the moment. We are visitors to the city and we wish to speak with someone named Myaknian Mun. Do you know this name? He looks up. Yes. I count him

as one of our members, actually. He's an alchemical genius, that one. Ooh. Most of the scholars might find him a bit off-putting, maybe even shun him, but we respect wild theories here at the Knights. Haven't seen him around for a while, though.

He's a bit of a... Bit of an odd duck. Taken to a... Yeah, it's like... Stands out in the city as being rather odd. Yes, he's taken to sleeping behind bars at his house to keep the ignorant and the upset out of his lab and out of his business, and I, for one, do not blame him.

lab and out of his business, and I, for one, do not blame him. What are the goals of the Knights, if I may ask? I'm not familiar with your group. Knowledge! Knowledge! Knowledge! Knowledge! And that knowledge that would lead us to evolve beyond mere vessels of eating and pooping.

mere vessels of eating and pooping. Surprised. Surprised you delineate pooping among your goals as an organization. Yes, well, it is a base function, but we could be so much more. We have a friend

that you should study. His poop is It is unnatural. The amount it's used for despite no intake. Bring him by sometime. Not accepting new members. Though we're not interested in membership,

perhaps we can trade in information. We are scholars ourselves. Who are you, really? Of the Dreamlands. Sure. Does that interest you? of the dreamlands. Oh, sure. Does that interest you? It's such a little shit. I swear.

What, uh, what knowledge are you looking to trade? What is it that you seek? I told you any friend of Miss Freeling is a friend of mine. If it's knowledge you seek, perhaps I will give it freely. Well, you say that Mun is a member of yours?

Yes, indeed. We would like to talk to him. Well, as I said, I have not seen him as of late. I'm sure he's very, very, very busy. What do you know of this man? I don't.

And he's withholding a little bit. You can tell he's withholding. Intimidate him. You want to do an intimidate? Listen, I take out my poppet. My poppet's going to back me up. What the fuck is that? She's going to do a little threat display while I'm going here.

I'm going to be like, listen, you little fucking shit. Is she like on the desk? I'm so sick of this town. I'm pissed off. My vibe was killed like an hour ago. No, yesterday.

And it's been killed ever since. And we need to know where this fucking guy is. And you're going to tell us where this guy is. And as she's like yelling at you,

you see maybe her neck mouth peeking out from there. Oh, God. And it's like, it's like grimacing at you. And my pop is like her neck mouth peeking out. Oh God. And just like, it's like you're missing at you. And my pop is sitting there going, what,

what, what, um, what, what I roll to, uh, demoralize. And my,

my pop it, um, uh, what is it? Gives me a, uh, when I attempt an intimidation check to demoralize someone, am I trying to demoralize you?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're trying to frightoralize you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're trying to frighten me. You get a plus four, I think you said, right? Within 30 feet, it accompanies and snarls, raising its hackles. I don't take the normal negative four penalty on the intimidation check if my target doesn't understand my language. Never mind, you understand mine.

Yeah, and you get a bonus, I think, you told me during your level up. Wasn't it a plus four? Am I misremembering that? Well, no, because I took the plus two in charisma, my intimidation modifiers. Okay, let's see what happens here. You're due. You're due.

All right, how about this one? Oh, there you go. 32. Oh! Maybe. What? What? What?

What? What? Get sick of this shit. Everyone thinks I'm weird. You're the weird one. Tell us what you want to know. All right, all right, all right. I don't want to cause any trouble.

Then don't cause trouble. I'm going to kill your assistant. We throw Ethel's dead body on his desk. Oh, my God! This is what happened to the last one. Why the hell were you holding that? You're next. And he's like four times the size of you.

I don't want any trouble. I don't want to bring trouble on others as well I count Mr. Munn as one of us we are brothers and sisters here in the Knights of Esoteric Involvement but

as you said you are friends of Skyward and I do not wish any harm to come upon me particularly now I probably shouldn't be saying this but there are rumors and I do not wish any harm to come upon me particularly. Now, I probably shouldn't be saying this,

but there are rumors, and that's all they are, are rumors that Mun has had a number of visitors over the past year. And these visitors have perhaps vanished without a trace after visiting him. But it's very possible that they visited him during the day, stayed all day, and left by night. However, it always struck me as odd when they mentioned that people were just disappearing.

People were just disappearing. Last time I spoke to Bun, he didn't seem in his right mind, and he mentioned a mysterious colleague who lives with him and kept referring to this colleague over and over again as his anomalous friend. Like I said, he's a bit of a... Anomalous friend? He's a bit of a recluse. Maybe it's just, again, rumors and whatnot, and maybe he just had a hard day of work.

Casimir is full of secrets, but I also think that people are just jealous of true genius and jealous of the pursuit of knowledge. So that is all I know. I hope that it is helpful to you, and I wish you no harm. If you were to see Captain Freeling, mention that I hope the ship is doing well. Only if you allow one member to join.

I do not have such a power, but... I swear. If you are threatening my life, I will talk to someone about one of you joining a society when you don't even live here. No, no, no. The receptionist at the place we're staying at... Molly Mab, yes. She's a second-level rogue. Oh, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. When you don't even live here. No, no, no. The receptionist at the place we're staying at. Molly Mab, yes.

She's a second level rogue. Oh, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. She works here, no. No, no, no. The receptionist at the place we're staying at. The concierge.

We want the concierge to join your group. Or else. Exactly about the concierge. At the Menendez Inn. Or else the rogue gets itge at the Menendez Brothers Inn yes Ricky

he's been trying to gain membership for years he's not wise at all he has nothing to offer the knights but I will, uh, I'll see what I can do. Is there any other

questions you have? Why does your voice keep doing that? I'm sorry, I'm, I, I, my voice cracks when I'm threatened by murderers. Suki looks, Suki looks over his shoulder. What are you reading? I'm looking at ship plans

trying to plan my next boat. Okay, that's boring. Never mind. Well, to you, who doesn't understand this complicated stuff. Anyways, it was nice meeting you. I have a question before we leave. I'm tired.

I see you have a large library I see you have a large library. Do you have any books on the translations of Necrol? On the translations of Necrol? Like you want to learn to speak Necrol? Yes. Yes. Yes. I mean, I suppose, but am I to just lend you a

book? Yes. Yeah. We're friends of Skywin. And you could be killed by us. Oh, I understand. Here, I'm sure, yes, I'm sure we can find something, and then when you

get to level 11, you'll know Neckle. Oh, here it is. It's an English to Neckle dictionary. Thank you. It's so weird. It's like grayed out, and I can't access it until I'm level 11. That's so strange. Oh, I hope you love it. Put that in my inventory.

Goodbye. Bye. Thank you. I will talk to Ricky. Yeah, thanks. And see what we can do. Goodbye. And so you leave the sceptered house.

You leave behind whatever his fucking name was. Ethan. Ethan Baylor, the Bleachling Gnome. He's a fun guy. He's a cool dude. What do you want to do? You're healed. You're fully healed. You don't have your madness anymore. Do you want to just show up at Mun's

doorstep? Yep. I mean, with the bars and everything, it's very interesting. We might have to force entry anyway, so let's just go. So you make your way to the directions that the harbormaster provided you, Breran Dalvos.

That sounds like a harbormaster, doesn't it? It does. Thank you, Skidden. The gales of the inner sea have taken their toll on this grim old pile, thick with the fetid odor that blows across Blackwood Swamp when the wind is high. A vulnerable-looking building of old, hefty stone blocks rises from a windowless ground floor to a high, steep gable several stories above a single great iron door seems to scowl at you as you approach this building there's a small

yet austere garden that decays out front, surrounded by a rusting iron fence six feet high that's pierced with a single gateway, and perched upon the gateway are a murder of crows. You look up, and all of the windows, especially on the upper floor, appear to be barred with iron shutters behind the bars. Maybe one or two of the shutters are open,

still barred, showing crude glass that's filled with air bubbles you can't see inside. This thick ivy crawling all over the building, even maybe breaking through, like piercing through the bars and breaking

through some of the windows in the attic. The whole garden has been completely neglected. Everything's decayed, and the area within, just beyond the gate, is heavy with undergrowth. The ground is muddy. You can see, like, a few weathered statues of angels and swans that looked like they were here

and belonged to whatever this building was before it was someone's home, someone's laboratory. And there's a single path leading from this rusty gate of a short flagstone path to the iron door. What do you do?

Home invasion. Haunted home invasion. This is great. We have to be careful because there might be some wacky traps. That's true. Like marbles. Luckily, we're brandishing a comatose divorcee

who can clear our path. No, we are not dragging him. We put him back in the inn. Oh, right. What do you do? We'll approach along the path. Suki first. So you push Suki.

And then Suki like elbows Atticus and like wedges him up towards the front. You're the one who knows him. You see better than I do. I can't see in this darkness. I'll lift you up. Oh, wait. I'm a rat. I'll do a perception. For dangers, you know, traps, that kind of thing.

That is a 32. Alright, so I imagine the four of you walk up to the gate, walk past the gate, and you look around, and you see footprints. Booted. Booted footprints that look like they strayed from the path that leads up to the door like someone was wandering around on the property recently. Follow the boot prints. You follow the boot prints around, and it seems...

Come, come, off the path. And you're walking through this thick brush. And you're not that tall. And so it's coming up high to you and you're looking and you kind of lose them. But it seems like maybe they lead back to the path and there's nothing there. It's just all over.

It's all in this like decayed garden. Like maybe they were looking for something. Goes around to the side of the house. Nothing. It seems like the only way in is this door. Open the door. Well, you walk up to the door. Open it.

You walk up to the door, and there is a dangling sign above the iron door. And the iron door actually looks like a new addition to whatever this building was before. And there's a sign that's held by a trio of smiling angels. And it reads, give succor to the troubled. And there's a great iron knocker hanging at the door's center.

Huge. Takes up about half of the top of the door. Sorry, it says, says give. Succor. Succor half of the top of the door. It says give succor to the troubled. Succor born every minute. There's a succor born every minute. Can't reach it.

Don't worry, I'll give you succor. Succor means to assist and support in times of hardship. I know. Just so everyone knows. I knew that without looking it up, by the way. For sure, for sure.

Eris, do it. All right. Knock, knock with the knocker. Gong, gong, gong. Eris knocks. Cough, cough, cough. Eris knocks with the knocker on the door of this very ominous building.

The way you're smiling. Why are you smiling? You're like trying to hold it in. Three things happen. That's a lot of things. Too many things. Three things happen. That's a lot of things. That's a lot of things. Too many things. Three things happen.

One, you hear, those of you with the best perception, we'll say three out of four of you, all hear footsteps on the other side of the door, like

coming towards the door to answer it. Dun, dun, dun. Oh, wonderful. Okay, great, perfect. Great news. That's the first thing. Okay. Check.

The second thing is, just as Eris's hand touches the door, the knocker, you hear that series of clicks that you heard when you were back at the Mad Poets Oasis. It was followed by hooting and

mechanical static, but you don't really hear that part again. Now you hear the clicks overlap with the sound of lapping water. Oh no. And there is a whisper that enters all of your minds that says in that same voice that you heard,

it's like the blot quivers, the lake ripples, the stain is here. The stain is here. And then as Eris knocks on this door with the knocker, acid sprays out on all of you. Oh, God. And we'll see you in Boston. Yeah!

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