The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 90 – Father Bubbles

Episode Date: May 22, 2024

The heroes enter the Mysterium with a local priest as their guide. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/m3UxqJPl2I0 Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at jointhenaish.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I shouldn't have to ask, but how are we Austin? Who's ready to get their neck mouth full? What are we putting in there? I want to thank you all for taking a break from your tech startups and band practice to come out tonight. Really sweet of you guys, I know you've got a busy schedule. What with coloring your hair and getting tats? Glad you could squeeze in the glass cannon. Woo!

This is my third time here in Austin and having not been impressed the first two times, I think I finally get it, okay? I think I finally get it. It? I think I finally get it. It's like Brooklyn and Portland had a baby and every day they put a funny hat on it. And here's the thing, I hate both Brooklyn and Portland. But who doesn't love a funny hat?

They're more than the sum of their parts. Who doesn't love a funny hat. They're more than the sum of their parts. The weird thing is nothing about this feels like Texas, right? This isn't Texas. This ain't the Texas I know. It's like they replaced all the guns with tacos. You guys are all right. Someone should run on that platform. Less guns, more tacos. We have had such a great time since we got in here. The fact that we're still standing

and not shitting out Tex-Mex backstage is a testament to how wonderful this city is. We did horrible things to that bathroom. We did horrible things to our bodies. We did horrible things to our bodies. There's two, there's two bathrooms. And you didn't tell everyone that you did that. Yeah, you didn't have to do that. That wasn't me.

It wasn't me. Joe and I went down to Sixth Street last night, like a couple of tourists, but you know, it was a good time. We had some brewskis, we watched some live music. Hanged out with an old buddy Hanged out hanged out hanged out. We banged some bachelorettes And then what and then today my wife will never watch this don't say that Did I watched? Yeah, I think you might have gone to dirty six. I don't know

Yeah, I made it feel bad while he was doing it I uh we went to top golf today That was our exercise Was having a flatbread pizza and hitting golf Weather's beautiful. We're drinking outside girls in cowboy boots. I'm an Austin guy drinking outside, girls in cowboy boots. I'm an Austin guy, all right? Woo! In fact, I like this place so much, I think we're gonna come back next year.

Yeah! All right? Yeah! That's a big promise. Only if you promise you'll come back, you promise? Yeah! Do you swear on your life? Yeah!

That's great, because even if the show sucks, you gotta come back, you promised. I swear on your life. Thank you, ma'am. It's true, so true. So sweet. Challenge accepted. Sydney.

Yes? How many Mitchell-Lottos have you had since arriving? Be honest. So many! That's some big math. That's some big math. It's funny, like, we'll get to a restaurant or a bar, no menu needed. I just walk in, I'm like, one Michelada... Three Micheladas, please. Just line them up on the bar, I'll just take them all at once.

I am having such a good... I think this is, like, my town! Yeah! You made a joke, and you were trying to hurt me. I would never. And you were like, yeah, you're really going to love Austin. Oh, you're really going to love Austin. Joke's on you, bitch.

I do. I said that to you in private. I'm having a great time. You are having a great time. Joe and I had a great time last night before we went to 6th Street. We went to a bar that was a whiskey bar on one side, a rum bar in the back, and a tequila bar on the other side. We spent $3,000.

This was amazing. It was so awesome. This bartender, who I really hope doesn't watch this, I'd be shocked if she did, was like, would you like to try this Texas bourbon? And I was like, yes, please. How much is that? And she was like, really expensive. And I was like, I can't, I couldn't possibly. She's like, I can give you half pour. We do half pours and you can just try it out for half the price. I'm like, great. Gives me the drink. Like, this is delicious.

It was very generous pour. I finished it. I said, hey, I did half. I think I like that other half. It was totally worth it. And she was like, I fucked up and gave you a hole, and you're getting charged for a hole. And like the New Yorker in me went to be like,

this is a disgrace. And like start a whole thing. But I was just like, alright I'll have another one. I didn't really want to fight. This place was awesome, we should shut them out but I can't remember the name of the joint. The name of the joint? Yeah, it's like walking distance from here. Good wreck bro. Yeah.

After party there tonight, we're gonna go there afterwards. We shot some pool, Troy and I dusted off our pool muscle. It's in the way that you use it. Did you play well? No we had a couple great shots but we had a couple just soft balls. Yeah that we just dunk. Yeah and they're like people watching we're like huh. I mean talk about natural ones Joe scratched the eight ball no less than five times The last time I walked away from the game. I was like have a good time And he saw I watched him sink 11 balls by himself. I just sat there steaming Kate you look like we found you in an alley outside. This is your kind of town. Yeah outside. This is your kind of town. Yeah. So I told a lot of people this in the VIP meet and greet, but I find a reason to

come here once a year. So when you said we were maybe going to have a show here, I was like, please, please, please, please, please, to the gods that I worship. And it happened. So I guess I manifested this. Let's talk about those gods that you worship. Let's explore that. No thanks. Since you brought it up. No, but I imagine, had you not got this gig, you would have just bought a house down here and summer it in Austin.

This just seems like your vibe. I mean, it's a little too hot here. Maybe not summer. Yeah. Not in the summer. Yeah, maybe winter here. Winter's here. No, I'm still a New York girlie.

I'm sorry. I like being mean. Don't apologize. It's still a New York girlie. I'm sorry. Yeah, I like mean don't apologize. It's it's better in New York Apologize it's better better Matthew Matthew's got a sore throat tonight Or you have a lot of sore throats, what are you doing that throat? What are you doing with that throat? That's a fair question. What are you putting that throat through?

Don't be weird. What are you doing with your throat on your off days? You want to wait until after the show to find out? Oh! Yeah! Yo, after last episode's scene, how could you not expect him to be ready for that? That's true, that's true. He's primed. His throat is primed.

His throat is primed as primed as it'll ever be. What's a worse word, throat or mouth? Mouth is when you're just being gross. Like when I say it, I'm like, mouth. You can, and then if I say throat. This is a talent of yours, you can make any word sound gross. That's true. Yeah. What were you saying backstage? You're like, you're going to marry that

different word for saying that you're in a monogamous relation. Monogamous relationship is to say you're a mono mouth. Yeah. You're the mono. I only kiss one mouth. Yeah. Mono mouth contract. I'm a mono mouth. Yeah. And it just did not sound quite. It was bad. Yeah. Sorry, I'm like a lifelong mono mouth. I'm safe.

I'm a mono mouth. It's just kind of one. Skid, how many museums have you been to since Soundtrack ended? No, no. Sorry. I've really been slack. I went to five in Kansas City, so I got kind of burnt out. But I love coming here.

My ex was from here. She went to school at UT and so we used to come here quite a bit. And she's here tonight. Let's bring her out. Hey! No, actually, one of my friends that I met through her was supposed to be here tonight, but he fell ill. If any of you have listened to the old episodes of the Glass Cannon podcast, my intro, as I mentioned, that I heard from someone in the army who served with someone named Gormley and they looked like a Gormley.

That was my friend Cameron, who was supposed to be here tonight, but he's not here. And I feel really bad too, because I want to pay him back because he and his wife took care of me. Last time I was here, I was here for the, uh, there was a Star Trek The Next Generation reunion at the Comic-Con, and I got horrific food poisoning the night before and was not able to attend. I met Brian Pozane and then I got super ill and I couldn't go to the thing. And so, however, I was able to go where, boldly go where no man had gone before,

which is to the bathroom 27 straight times in eight hours. But I wish he was here, hopefully we'll come back and he will be here next year. But Cameron, I miss you buddy. Hopefully see you next time. Cameron, how's your throat? I think we might get to patient zero here in a second. If you guys missed the Kansas City show,

it was not only the sexiest show in the history of the network, it was the sexiest actual play ever recorded. It was pornography is what it was. It was tasteful. You're welcome. It was tasteful. No, no, we wrote it tasteful. You did not read it tasteful. You took liberties, sir.

I knew what we were asking for, but we wrote it deliberately like PG-13 tasteful scenes. So tasteful. If you... There are lines that I know you wrote that were disgusting pornography. I know it. It came out of your mouth and I was like, you thought that that was like a clever, and it made me uncomfortable. Yeah. Dirty. Joe was like shaking.

I had to off mic be like, it's okay. It's just plain pretend. No, I love how everyone up here was like, no, I don't know if I'll be able to handle this. And then as soon as we got into it, y'all settled into like, you know what? Smut's not that bad. Yeah. Maybe I enjoy this.

Maybe I like smut. Let me ask you. If you were gonna become a porn star, what would your name be and what would your specialty be? Wait, wait, wait, wait. All right, all right. Wait, wait, wait. Would you be like a rim jobist?

Isn't there the, you remember the mechanism for this, like when you were in grade school? Yeah, like your middle name and the street you grew up on. Yeah, the street you grew up on. I'd be Arthur Broadway. Don't tell people this. But I'm thinking like you have to... I would be Becky Montrose.

Guys, stop saying answers to that. It's how people hack your passwords and shit. Stop answering this question. You can make up any word you want. Docs yourself. Docs yourself. Docs yourself. Any name you want and what's your specialty?

What? Okay, wait. I'm just going to do... I'm doing the naming convention. I would be Ginger Florence. Ooh. And my specialty is cartwheels. There you go. Wow. Interpret that however makes sense.

Very sexy. I'm very sexy. Thank you. Joe, you got a porn pass? Come on. No, no. He's Catholic. I'm there. Thank you. Joe, you got a point pass. Come on. No, no. He's Catholic, leave him alone. You afraid you're gonna reveal your secrets?

Briscuit Joe. Briscuit Joe. Well there's your name. Briscuit Joe. There's your name. Briscuit Joe. All right, all right, all right. That would be your name, Briscuit Joe.

Hey, I'm here to deliver a half pound of brisket. You're special. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Grrr. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. All right, I'll take some inspiration

from Matthew and Skid's activity last night. Oh, boy. Uh. What? What do you mean? My porn name will be Rex. ["Rex Tennis"] My porn name will be Rex Tennis.

Okay. And my specialty will be net play. Net play. Just like cats to net. Use your imagination. Net play. Net play. He's so into net play. Okay, you want to take a stab at this?

You got a fun name or specialty? I can't think of a name, but I know what my specialty would be. Oh, wow. Got to that quickly. Choking with my legs. Whoa! Little James Bond-zina on the top. Like squeeze a watermelon, like with your thighs?

Yes, that. All right, you guys got quiet. You know what I'm talking about. Maybe you'll have to pay me to find out. Fair enough. Like a sexy Gallagher. A sexy Gallagher. A sexy Gallagher. There's your name.

You can't think of a name, there it is. It's right there, sitting in front of you. Sexy Gallagher. Thank you. Sexy Gallagher. Sexy Gallagher. You're workshopped it. Thigh, something with thigh, like

Lucy and the thigh with diamonds. Oh. No, we'll come back to it. Matthew, you want a beard play? I was gonna say, no, I'm gonna stick with Becky Montrose. That's a good one. I think my specialty would be second act curtains. Oh, wow.

How'd your day go last night? Well, I gave her the second act curtains. You know what I mean? I don't, I don't know what that means. It's a playwriting joke. Skid, take this and run with it. My poor name to honor our present location would be Lyndon Baines Johnson.

And my specialty would be explosion play. Oh my god. You had to make it political. Well, I think we've learned a lot about each other tonight. Now let's go around the audience. We've got this beautiful screen. You guys want to play some pretend? Look at this fucking thing. I love this theater. It is gorgeous! This is hands down the nicest theater we've ever played. Yeah Take that other theaters Anyways, we want to recap

Please recap last episode of detail. I'm gonna give you the whole thing if you could sum it up It's recap time some people haven't heard it. They need to know the details you it. All right, we'll give you time to catch up and then we'll play I Was still thinking of a poor name, but I'm gonna go with Rod power, bro Rod power bro. Okay, that is so close to the name of your pathfinder character We first started playing but it combines a bunch of them OCD play. Oh! How unfun.

But it's clean. But it's clean. It's clean. A lot less puddles than these two. Alright, gross. Three cap time. Take it to the cap. As much as this story has been about the journey of our erstwhile heroes, it's equally been

about the journey of this enigmatic count named Hout. Wow, good start. Yeah, good, really solid start. Sorry, I was getting aroused thinking of OCD play. It's a journey of an enigmatic count named Hazerton Liles IV. Not content enough to just run his county. This count wanted to be a respected scholar, but he was laughed at by his peers and nobody bought his books

This led him looking into Dangerous knowledge knowledge that no one else has I'll show them he said and if he unlocks this knowledge No one will laugh at him anymore Are you fucking serious? We were there we know what happened It was literally like a day ago. There are themes in the recap that are important for the show that you're about to play. Sure. Okay.

Where was I? Just let me know when it's initiative. Every GM's favorite player. Just let me know when we're rolling initiative. When we're doing something. favorite player. During this search for knowledge it appears the count became infected by a great old one named Jamin Dorr this alien god who is leading him perhaps to find this hidden city where ancient monuments exists that can open a portal for this alien God to enter our world and Destroy it. We're talking the apocalypse

Big apocalypse fan over there So the count and his accomplice an alchemist named my acne and mon they're heading to a library of the occult in Mayakne and Munn, they're heading to a library of the occult in the distant nation of Kadira to try and find a book called the Necronomicon, which evidently points the way to this hidden city. Our heroes have been chasing this count across the world because some of them used to work for him, and he did some fucked up things to them. Just a couple days ago, in Kansas City, our heroes arrived in Kadira and made their way to the Mysterium. Four guards stood outside, barring their entrance.

Apparently, some shit went down at the Mysterium. And they're not letting anyone in without a written permission from their leader, a woman named Elder Theor. So you seek out this elder steward. The stewards are the protectors of the Mysterium. And she explains to you that the stewards had fallen on some hard times as of late. And in order to sort of help themselves out, they were letting scholars come visit in exchange

for a donation. But their screening process failed them because they let Count Lowles in. He and his crew went somewhere in the library they weren't supposed to go and it triggered the library's defenses. Normally that would be the end of it, but something went horribly wrong. Elder Theor tells you there's an enchanted mirror on the first level of the Mysterium meant to summon these creatures of pure law known as axiomites that punish any trespassers. Well instead of these creatures, hounds from another dimension came through and apparently as the count delved deeper

into the Mysterium, other wards and protections of the building were bastardized as well. The former leader, a man named Elder Lathine, went in with a group to apprehend Lyle's and they never returned. In fact since Lyle's has went in no one has come out. I don't believe you. The old woman, Elder Theor, says she will allow you in if you cleanse the building by entering its innermost sanctum, a place called the soul, where you can reset the building's defenses,

while also retrieving Elder Theor, dead or alive. Excuse me, Elder Letheene, dead or alive. So you want us to cleanse the place by entering its innermost sanctum. That's right, that's right. Oh, right. Those are the words you chose. Don't be weird. I'm almost done.

In order to bypass each level, you have to seek out four angelic statues on each floor. I don't know why you don't like this. It's a cool little puzzle and you have the answer. It's very cool. It is very cool. But the way you're speaking of it, I'm like, this is going to be a two-year dungeon crawl. It's not! Find a statue. It takes two seconds. You're talking about multiple statues. That's all you gotta do. Ugh. I didn't, four, four. Ugh.

That's all you do. Remember that. It'll be a fun callback when you do it. That's the sound we should make when we're entering the innermost sanctum. This guy. Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Mmm. Somebody's a little thirsty. Old Throat Johnson over there is ready to go That's a good point named to What's your specialty? You know what I think I know? You're gonna find these statues turn their heads towards the walls that they're facing there are four on each level when you do that It unlocks the passageway to get to the next level

She also tells you that there are haunts within, spirits of past stewards that always lived in harmony with the Mysterium but they too have been altered ever since Lowell's went in. What did Lowell's do or is it Lowell's mere presence that is changing things within? You hear about haunts, and you ask for a priest to come with you as an added protection against these spirits. Oh, I forgot. She says she may know of a young go-getter priest

who may be up to the task, man by the name of Father Richard Bubbles. Oh! So you return to the Mysterium. How did I fucking forget about this? Yeah. And we asked for it. You asked for it. We did.

You specifically asked for an NPC to come with you. So you head to the Mysterium with your writ in hand, ready to enter, and Father Dick Bubbles appears. Also, Eris and Ethel have been having sex for a long time. That's not true. That's not true. That's not what happened. If you had paid attention to the content of the story instead of smutting it up.

They had sex a long time ago. A long time ago. Oh my god, they had sex. Guys, they had sex in their dreams and then they had it in real life once and it sucked and the dreams was better than it was bad Right not it did not go well not go well. I think that's the perfect recap what I thought was like no had trouble You know Raise raising the shields Dupadupu raising the shields

Anyways, let's take it to the Mysterium case. You didn't know we've moved this adventure to foundry VTT God damn it Let me launch the game Just give me 45 minutes. There's a timeout on this son of a bitch That really kills you all right ready? Downloading world, David. Here comes the world, ready? Now, now. Yeah, look at that world.

Now. There we go, there's our characters. Alright, so we see four guards, we see four guards, we see the five of you and I made a pawn for Father Richard Bubbles. Oh no. Oh my god. Oh no, what is that? Made a pawn for father Richard bubbles Honestly, I am so mad that you do not clear this image through copyright In the name of the father! That's exactly what I pictured when he opened his mouth, honestly. I am so mad that you did not clear this image through copyright.

I found it on Amazon, I'm sure it's fine. Look at that guy, that's Father Richard. Did you ask AI to make this? No, I didn't. He's like, it's hot out today in Kadera. So he's taking his shirt off in canon. He's just, he's kinda like, ooh, it's hot out here. I think it's important to note that the shirt comes off

but the collar stays on. The collar stays on. Oh my, you asked for me. He says that? Yes. Oh there, so, Elder Theer tells me you are worried about what lies within. Good thing Father Bubbles is here. I may be young, I may have abs. But I love have abs.

But I love the Lord. It's good to hear. Padre, what kind of skills do you have? Please! Call me Dick, we're friends. You don't have to call me father. You can if you want. Man it's hot! What's going on? What's going on? It's a good one! Can I, father, can I just ask, what skills do you have to add to our party? Skills?

Well, I'm not much for a fight, so I probably won't be rolling initiative. But if you need some religious lore, well, you wanna know about what goes on in here. I'm your man. What about the tortured spirits they spoke of? Do you have the ability to commune with them in some way, to give them peace?

I will pray to my god, Nethus, when I see these spirits, that they will find peace. But no, I have never disabled a haunt. I'm hoping that today will be the first day. I am level zero. However, in the eyes of the Lord, I'm level two. And should I finish this part of the adventure and come out, I may be level ten.

What's your name? Me? Yes. Eris. And then she pulls egg out of her cloak. This is Egg. Hello there, Egg. You don't talk to Egg. Do you believe in the one true god, Nethis? I don't like you. Eris said peace.

She'll come around. They're about to embark on a rather important journey together, perhaps giving him the benefit of the doubt. I'm so sorry about her. She's not really eloquated in our ways. She's not really from here. I'm Suki, Oriana Sol de. He pushes Atticus out of the way. Hello there, my radiant lady.

This is Pepsi. And she reaches down the front of her dress and pulls her large... Her medium sized... 8 foot boa constrictor out. Well, hello there little fellow. I didn't see you when I first came up. It is a pleasure to make your see you when I first came up. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, I have to ask.

Do you believe in the one true god, Nethus? No. That's cool. That's real cool. So what are we doing? To tell you the truth, I don't know. What are we doing? To tell you the truth, I don't know. What are we doing? So hot.

Can we go in the building now? Oh, hi there. Wait a minute. Are you divorced? Oh my god. I've actually been looking for some spiritual counseling in this matter. Well, you came to the right place

because divorce is allowed in the Church of Nethus. Really? Yes, in fact, it's encouraged. It's encouraged. Divorce is encouraged. By the Church. Nethus understands that you can't just be with one person for the rest of your life. And the sooner you figure that out, the better.

I think my ex-wife goes to your church. I don't know that I like it. We should talk. I can see that you're hurting. Perhaps Nethus can ease your pain. And you there, we should know each other's names before we venture into this building of knowledge. I suppose we should. Dick? Hello, Dick? Yes, that's me. Pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Dick.

I didn't catch your name. Oh, my name! My name's Elder Kizmey. Oh! Hello! I have some questions about your religion. Oh, please, ask away. Are members of your priesthood meant to be celibate? Or are they not? Oh come on.

What's the policy towards sensual relationships within your clergy? I'll be honest, I have not finished the good book. book. What I've read so far leads me to believe I can do what I want. It's an interesting interpretation. Yes. Maybe we could finish the good book together in our late night counseling session. I need to get... Is there something wrong with your throat, sir? I just think, I just think he's looking, he's not looking at Aris very studiously. I just think I need to figure out a way to move on.

Would we all agree? I would agree with that, yeah. Yes, absolutely, actually, yes. He walks over to you and he pushes your head into his chest. Oh! That chest. Then by the hand of Nethus... Do you shave? I shall help to guide you.

I do, can you tell? A little prickly. By the hand of Nethus I will guide you in whatever way you need. Alright! little prickly. By the hand of Nethus, I will guide you in whatever way you need. All right, we've exchanged enough pleasantries. Larry, Jim, Marcus, Aurelius. They have a writ from Elda Ther. Let them pass. All right, let's approach the gate. Yeah, we'd walk up. Please. Ethel, we're going in. We're going inside.

Ethel, Ethel! It is an old bit, Ethel, it's getting very tiring. I was gonna go wash my face. It seems to be covered in some kind of scented oil. As you approach the Mysterium, there's this moment that kind of feels like the end of Ghostbusters 1 as they're all approaching the Shandor building. Now there's no portal up ahead, but there is this thing as you all sort of approach and stare up at this strange, ancient building.

You feel the presence of something else, and you all start to feel dizzy for a moment. Maybe you lose your balance, and as you're teetering on your feet the world goes black to you and you all see the same vision. The vision in the blackness starts out completely black and then lights fade up on thousands of yellow slugs oozing out of a crack in a basalt wall. And you just see them like. Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, ugh, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick, lick,

this endless stream of yellow slugs. And as you watch this unfold in this vision, you hear a voice whispering, the same voice that has spoken to you now since the mad poet's oasis. The touch of ruin, the touch of death is upon this place. More than the blot, more than the black stars. Many gather in this chaos. There are deep roots here,

and that which should not be has been birthed within. This place is poisoned. Hurry, you must staunch the wound. You come back and you gain your feet. What was that all about? Did you see it, Dick? Did you hear it? See what? No, you just seemed seemed all get dizzy and start to fall.

Thought you were swooning at first. He did not see it. Hear it. What did you see? Everyone huddle up. Sorry, Dick, not you at this moment. What did you say, my beautiful lady? Just what?

You're so handsome. Okay, huddle up, huddle up. All right. Everyone saw that, correct? Yeah. We're all being spoken to, specifically. It is the same voice from before that we heard at Mance. Correct, in the attic with that tentacle thing. It seeks our help. It wants to be saved. I don't understand what it could be, but let's try to save it. Let's not go in Ethel.

Let's not go in... Ethel, come back! Let's not go in swinging, so to speak. But that's what he does best. No swinging. No, I understand. No, I mean, you can swing. No. Let us, let there be no swinging this day.

Swing. Just to be clear, swinging is no... No, no, no, you can swing, but... Well, not today. Well, perhaps today. Let's get to know each other a bit first and then perhaps I'm sorry. I'm very confused. Look, all of you, stop stalling.

I'm just going to... We have no way to truly know what is beyond that door. Until we open it. Suki. What? There is no means by which we can prepare for what we are about to see. We must react quickly, communicate well, and keep your head about you. Don't believe everything you see. Don't believe everything you hear.

I fear greatly what may be beyond that door. It may set us against each other. It could set us against Father Dick. No. No. It wouldn't. I won't believe that. Yes, something so tragic could happen.

I was hoping to get some counseling sessions first. No. Let us just enter, please. Stay close. And be clear about everything you see or hear. Ethel, open the door. Open the door. We will commune with Dick later. I kick it in.

Ethel, wait! I just cast heroism on you before you do. How long does that last? Ten minutes. Okay. Noice. Ten minutes pass and the guards slowly open the gate. What the? You try to kick down the door and in fact as you get closer the guards draw their weapons

and they're not taking an offensive stance towards you but they just put their hand out as if to say, oh no. And they look very nervous and they're growing increasingly nervous as they step backwards towards the door and you watch as they cautiously unlock the chains, remove the bars, and then they retrieve a key, put it in the main door and turn the key and then they step back

and the door opens of its own accord and it makes this unsettling grinding noise. Like. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr into the building. Let me open the door. Oh, we got stuff. Oh, whoa, whoa. Cute. They practically push you in, and then once you're all inside, they quickly withdraw the key,

and the door reverses and starts to close. When you finally hear it close, behind you, you hear them rushing to replace the bars. You hear, chains being tied back up and clicked. And you know, as Elder Theor told you, they will not let you out unless they hear the bell tolling

to signify that you have reset the override function in this place that restores its defenses. So everybody get inside and here comes bubbles. And then, oh my. I can sense that things have changed here. I'd like to say a prayer. Oh, for God's sake. You may...

hold hands. Or you may just close your eyes and listen. Suki reaches for his hand. Ethel reaches for his other hand. So soft. And so hard. Oh wow. Dear Nethus, sweet Nethus,

we all know you love magic. We love it so much that it drove you mad. Please, whenever we come in contact We love it so much that it drove you mad. Please, whenever we come in contact within, whether it be magic or otherwise, let us retain our senses unlike you. Let us not go as crazy as you are. God, I worship.

Watch over my new friends and I as we try to go as crazy as you are. Thank God I worship. Watch over my new friends and I. As we try to cleanse this place of whatever evil lies within. You are the best. Amen. I love you. Kim, will you do a perception check? Yes In here?

You get a plus one with that heroism, don't forget Got it baked in Baked in plus Natural 3 Okay 23 Natural 3, 23, anybody beat that? Natural 2

Oof 32 for Atticus. Keeping his rat eyes peeled in both directions. What is the lighting situation? There are two braziers burning, casting light in every direction. You like those? Brazier action. Oh yes. they are providing light. There seems to be, you know, light throughout. And there are fucking doors everywhere. What was the question? What do you see? Oh, so you see like a placard, kind of like right when you walk in. Just picturing Atticus looking and going, they're a fucking door.

They're a fucking door. They're a fucking door. They're a fucking door. They're a fucking door. Shit. First thing you see is a placard that says university level, okay? Oh.

And you look ahead, and there is a hallway leading for all intents and purposes north, and one stretching to the east, past that brazier beside you, and one stretching to the east past that brazier beside you and one stretching to the west. In all three corridors there are doors like to the west and the east you see one door in leading to the north on both sides and then looking up ahead you see several other doors like three on each side leading up

and what do you want to do? Yeah he's still holding on to Father Dick's hand. You may let go now, my son. Atticus, Atticus from an exploration activity standpoint, is going to never stop casting Detect Magic. Over and over and over and over. So wherever we're walking, he wants to know if there's, he gets a hit of the presence or absence of magic at any moment. That is wise. I did not say that out loud. Yes, I can see what you're doing with those somatic components of yours No dick would pre in really into that I would think detecting magic Yeah, love magic heiress is doing the same, but she doesn't care what father thinks look at you

Both don't look at me. I can't help it. I've got a strange situation there happening. She is captivating by definition and enthralling. And he sees it. Let us go. Lead the way, I am but a backpack. Consider me the backpack of the Lord. You may carry me on your shoulders or I will carry you. Pardon me, I just can't wait until we get to a hazard.

Hold on, hold on. Father, father, can I call you Dick? Please. Oh, it's warmer in here than I remember. Son of a bitch. Are you not stuffing a picture? It's so hot. I'll just take this thing off. Dick. Yes. Yes, oh gorgeous one. You've been, thank you, you've been inside the Mysterium before.

Correct? Oh yeah, yes. I sure have. Ethel, be careful there, my son. I will remove the ability for you to control your pawn. You have that power. I will remove the ability for you to control your pawn You have that power You've been inside the Mysterium before correct. Yes my angel. That's exactly what I was going to ask I have been in here stop moving that

Beautiful mouth of yours and listen Do you know? I fear for your friends sanity Ethel stop walking before I make you stop walking. Hey Ethel something looks cool down that hallway. Okay Do you know where the bloody angel is on this level or not dick there's one over here fuck I Saw when I started walking down this hallway never mind. Yes. There are four angels on each level I Will you see it I believe there is one southeast Yes, your friend went wandering,

and he has discovered one at the end of the hallway. But let's proceed with caution. My god. Elda Thea warned me that there are hounds in here. How soon before we just kill him? Like, how quickly? It's not even a concern. The first... Anything that resembles an encounter will kill him instantly.

What did you think would happen when you asked for a priest? He is level zero. Level two in gods eyes. Mike, can we go toward this angel for the love of... For the love of Nephthys, can we please go toward this angel? Yes. Dick. Yes, sir. Dick. Yes, sir.

Stay behind us. All right. And we'll start walking. I'll follow Ethel. Lead the way, Ethel. Suki. Yes. Go with Ethel.

I'm trying to. My internet's not working. Just give me 15 minutes. Sometimes it is hard to connect with the Lord. Hold my hand and I will guide you through this chamber. No problem, will do. Your hands, they're so soft. Are they elven? Yes, and they're soft from... Never mind.

No, hold on. What? Soft? They're soft from what? Soft from what? What are your hands soft from? They're soft from handling my snake. So stupid. This is all you guys' fault for fucking Kansas City.

None of this started until you guys had your fucking cornrow scene. You guys rewired my brain. There are some people that might think watching 30 and 40 year olds play this game would be different from watching sixth graders play this game, but they would be completely wrong. It is exactly the same thing. We just have a larger vocabulary to do the same thing. Atticus is going to go up to this curve at the corner and like put his back up to it kind of. He can't quite see around it. I see another angel.

Oh, cut! Stop! Stop moving ahead! Stop looking! Ethel. Turn its head. He's all business strike team. He just wants to get it done and keep moving and he's looking where early around, casting Detect Magic, assuming something's going to jump out at us at any second. Can I just touch it? Yes, turn its head. Is it magical? Is it gonna hurt me? I do not detect any sign of magic. There is no chance But there is a magical hazard of any kind here All right, Ethel is gonna try to turn the head of the angel with the pommel of his hammer

All right. So you use the pommel of your hammer to push the head of the angel so that it turns to face the wall against which it is standing and it just like with ease it turns towards that wall. And when it gets in a place, there's like a ta-kong. You hear it that echoes throughout the entire place. Ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong,

ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-kong, ta-k 30. Sorry, that math's just a bit much for me. That is a 37. Yeah! Nice.

All right. Zoom the map out. No. So that you can see further up this hallway that you and Ethel are watching up, or looking up. Okay? I love Valdry so much. This map is so big. Yeah, zoom in on that thing there.

All the way at the top or here? Right there. So you guys look up the hall. It's the mirror. It's the mirror. Oh no. It's got a little pool like waving in the center of it. It's a cool looking shark. You right when Ethel turns that, you are looking around the corner and you see something step through that mirror. Oh just like a clawed blue black hand comes out followed by another one followed by the body of a otherworldly hound. Followed by a second one and a third one. Oh, oh no.

And a fourth one. Oh no. And they turn and see you and Ethel peeking down the end of the hallway. Roll for initiative. Oh come on. I don't remember no still check dude. Oh, do you want me to roll a new perception check for my initiative or

use the old one? You can reuse the one you have. Let's take a look at these John skis. No, you are, sir. Wink. Let's see if I can. Here's what they look like. Boom. Oh no. They look kind of like, what, if dogs had like a piranha head? If dogs lived in the Marianas Trench. Yes. That would look like it.

And the back half of them was a ghost. And their tails are smoking. Yeah, like their back half is like, And his tails were smoking. And his tails were smoking. And this is not, we've seen Hounds of Tindalos before and these are not Hounds of Tindalos. Yes, are not hounds of Tindalos. Yes you fought hounds of Tindalos back in the entryway to the Count's estate back in Thrushmore. I don't think Joe was there that day. It

was in Dallas. I think it was in Dallas. Get out of here really? Wow. Dallas loves a hound of Tindalos. These look very similar. They just look more terrifying and more muscular. Let's say they look like they're a higher level. They look like they're elite. Let me hear what you got for a niche. Atticus. That is a 28. You can roll your perception check over.

I'm letting you and Ethel. 37. Okay Pretty sneaky sis Aldo Aldi got a 36 nice It's so fun. There's a woman from Australia like sitting in the front row. So every time I do the voice I get a little self-conscious But she assured me that my voice is fine. Nice.

Is it as good as human edges? All right, Suki, what'd you get? 39. 39. Wow. Definitely added that wrong. Phenomenal roll. No, I didn't.

No, I didn't. 39. Ethel? 32. Look at the 30 crew here and oh I get a free a free battle cry to Demoralize you oh To all of them or just one of them. Let's see. I think it's just one of these two eyes checks instead of I Fuck this and I'm just like fucking demoralize every time and observe foe. So I'll take the first one Well, I don't think I can observe any of them

I only see shadow so I don't think I'm gonna be able to do that. I agree the one nearest to me Okay, the one nearest to you. You're gonna roll a demoralize this is against my will Wow 29 What is demoralize have to do with it? He just said, Frightened one. I want to see what the traits are. Okay, so demoralize has a trait that it is immune to.

What, it's immune to mental? Don't worry about it, O'Brien. Son of a bitch. What did Eris get for initiative? A 21. Oh, what the fuck did I just do? Sorry, you got a three. I rolled you a three after I take a three.

That's what I rolled. You rolled? Awesome, all right, so 21 total. That's terrible. It's round one. Horrible hounds. Only Ethel and Atticus can see this. But Suki, you're standing back there

and you see his rat hair stiffen. And he goes, Ethel. And Ethel turns after turning this angel statue and then you see a look of abject fear. On his godless face. He just unleashed a battle cry that would have frightened it if it could be frightened. Oh He said Now do you understand sukey says

Downs are here the hounds They've come to the mirror okay, okay, okay Bubbles puts his hand right above your wrist and says, My dear, God and I are with you. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Yeah, I can't really do much against Hound, so go get a metal. And she casts Haste. Ooh, nice. And Pepsi is going to... Interesting, where's Pepsi on the map? He did not come to Foundry.

What? So sorry. What? No, Pepsi. Let me find a snake, here you go. Yeah, give me any old snake. There you are. Who cares?

There we go. That's an eel. What the? No it's not, it's a sea snake. That's okay, well. Wait, I got a better one, ready? Tomato tamale. Here's a bottle of snake oil.

Thank you so much for this. No, didn't work. All right, take this ice. Do I draw your Pepsi bottled or draft? Oh, cool, all right, this is a cool blue snake, thank you. There you go, blue snake. Blue snake moon. Pepsi will slither.

Crystal Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi. It's Crystal Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi. It's Crystal Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi! All right, that's a bottle, pepsi. You make me laugh, you get nice things. Pepsi will slither, I can't move him, but he will slither up. I'll give you ownership.

Two spaces in front of Ethel. He's going to protect Ethel. As soon as he moves. Yep, perfect. And that's my turn. And that's your turn. Well, now it's how one's turn. No. Troy, you always found a higher initiative. Not this time! You babies. All right. We're set at one. That one, okay. This one here is going to go invisible. Oh, shit.

See, this is what they do! Thanks a lot, HP Lovecraft, fucking dick. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Anything bad that happens to us, we could blame directly on HP Lovecraft. Yeah. Fucking asshole.

That was what he did, be better than him. That's right. I think he didn't actually create the Hounds of Tyndallos. No, did he not? Frank Belknap Long. Oh, but he was inspired by ASP Lovecraft, right? Yes. There you go, fuck him!

Okay, and then don't worry what happens next. It is now Atticus's turn. Ooh, Atticus sees one go invisible. He thinks, oh, I know that trick But look at the rest of you You did not expect this perhaps allows was not properly prepared, but I Yeah, and he comes up behind Crystal Pepsi in front of Ethel, and then past Ethel. Do you see it? Does everybody

see it? His hands swirl around as he gathers the electric energy of a lightning bolt and Oh shit! And ding! Oh my god! Oh my god! Heightened lightning bolt in a 120 foot line hits all three hounds as they stand outside of the mirror and it just... What? What do I roll? There we go, love the light work, Michaela! Do I roll, what save, what save do I roll? Reflex. Which is going to be, I'm guessing your best, but it was three.

There were three! I had to give it a shot. First one rolled a 21, real bad roll. Okay. Second one rolled a 38. Real big change there between the 21 and the 38. And then the last one rolled... Oh, fuck! Yes!

24. Oh! 21, 38, probably a critical success, and then 24. I'm sorry, what was the first one? 21. Okay. That's a critical fan. Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Brisket Joe! Brisket Joe! I love brisket! Yeah! Yeah! Brisket Joe, I love brisket! I got a half pound of brisket with two sides. I think this could be a real porn. I know, this has turned into the porno version of this show. Yeah. Like the porno...

It doesn't take us much. ...of our live show, Strange Anus. Two songs. I apologize. Like Strange Anus or something. That's like... Strange Anus. Oh, god. To Bodely Go. What do you want to do there? anus or something. Strange anus.

To Bodleigo. What do you wanna do there? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I got it, I got it. Did a lot of damage? Yeah, all right, so. I'm using electronic dice for this. While you're, I'll stall for you. That is correct, okay. It is, for the hound that succeeded,

it is 16 points of damage. was that a critical with a 38? No, that was a regular success That is 16 points of damage. Okay, the 28 Takes 32 points. Oh, yeah. I think I know where this is going electricity damage and the critical fails 64 points damage and the critical fails 64 points. Yeah! Get him! You smell burnt dog hair. As they scream.

Have you ever seen a better scenario for a 120 foot line in your life? That's fucking awesome. Hey Joe, you know what happens when a hound of Tindalos gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else! Game! You can't stop. You know what it comes down to? It comes down to you taking the feat

for improved initiative there, or what is it called? Yes. Because that allowing you to go first allowed them to stay in that line. That is right. That's so worked out to stay in that line. That is right. So, work out! For once in your life! It worked out.

It's the first time ever! For once in your life! When he had Hound 1 go, I was like, alright, did he do different initiatives for all of them or are they all going? Because they're all just vanished. I'll be like, shit! What would your initiative have been before you took that feat at level up? 35.

Yeah, game changer. Alright, well, good news for the team. It's Aldo's turn. Yes! Aldo, Kazamiya, we can down there. Finish them off! Oh no, I can't! Yeah, they're too far away.

You can delay. Yeah, I'm gonna delay. Delay. Love a delay! Let's hear it for Aldo! Tactical! Roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll. Yeah. Delay. Love a delay! Let's hear it for Aldo! Tactical! Roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll.

All right. Well, you're going to delay. It is Hound Two's turn. Hound Two, the one that got toasted, goes away. And you don't know where to go. And you don't know where to go. And now it is Ethel's turn. Oh, come on, Ethel. Alright, I'm gonna... My son!

Yes? May Nethers follow your every step. Thanks. Not that one. Every step from here on out. Well, here's the thing. I now do not have the movement to get to them. That's fine. Don't go to them.

Let them come to us. So I'm gonna delay. Well, yeah, because there are Pepsi's up there. I was gonna say you could use an entire round to just stand in front of Atticus. That would be, depending on how you're feeling about Atticus. I mean, are you a hero or just some guy? Yeah, like you.

What are you, a jerk or something? You're not gonna... Atticus, if you see him, say something. All right, well, it is another hound's turn. That hound, just like his buddies, invisible. Do we remember if they have attacks of opportunities? You don't because we were playing two different versions of this game last time. Two older versions of this game.

And then it is the other one's turn. It goes invisible. And that is all you see. Just make sure I did that right. And then it's going to be Eris's turn unless Aldo or Ethel wants to jump in. Joe and Sydney, what are you guys talking about over there? What'd you share with the whole class? We're having technical difficulties,

and we have figured out a way to make the show go on. Oh, okay. Just because we're a couple of professionals. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Any more questions? I know! I know! I know! I teach! I teach Joe.T. Joe! Can I see the initiative? Is that a thing? That's a thing, right? Oh, nice! Look at that, guys! Boundary VTT! God, I love this foundry shirt! You can see it! VTT! VTT! VTT! VTT! God, I love this foundry shirt!

This was a lot of work. All right. It is Eris's turn. Can I do a knowledge check even though I didn't see these things based on any description anyone gave me I don't see why not we knew about the house before we ever did She told you Elder Theor mentioned it so you might have been like Rack in your brain Have you ever heard of these things? Have I ever read a file of them in my life in all that time you spent in the man of Wastes? Yeah. or in the dreamlands.

Yeah, go ahead and give me an occultism check most likely. Yes! Oh, I mean, okay, yeah, sure. 26. Bam, bam, bam, bam! No, no, it's very, very hard to figure out what is going on with these creatures all right one action that one action I want to cast shield on myself because I Think I know that they might have all disappeared if we don't know where they are and then My last action I'll aid

Ethel somehow how can I aid you? If you see him, tell me where they are. If I see them tell, okay, all right, yeah. Me and Egg will keep an eye out and I'll let you know as soon as one comes out. Okay, round two. Suki. Yes. It's your turn.

Okay. What are you eating? Are you eating? You're like, chilling right now. What are you chewing? Is that brisket? Are you eating a brisket sandwich? No!

No! No! Brisket sandwich! This is not a moment for snacks! Brisket shit! Brisket shit! Brisket shit! There's barbecue sauce all over your keyboard. She's always eating. Oh, Brisket Joe, you're spilling barbecue sauce everywhere. Let me get my sun shirt. All right, Suki. To live in your mind. shirt. All right, Suki... To live in your mind.

What in the world? It's like worse than the Mysterium. What? I didn't even want to talk to you. Suki knows that there's danger down the hallway. She doesn't really want to get into that danger, so she's going to cast shield on herself, take a page out of Eris' book. And then she's going to command Pepsi. I know I'm putting Pepsi in danger, but I want to make the hounds appear so everyone can attack them on their turn. So

I'm going to command Pepsi. Pepsi is going to move up like, how far, Joe? Keep going. Keep Like, how far, Joe? Keep going. Keep going. Pepsi's the one token I don't have control of. There you go. You can do it now. Pepsi's going to move up 30 feet, let's just say. Okay. Oh, 30 feet? Yeah. Pepsi's going to get in it, because I want the hounds to appear so everyone can do something on their turn. Okay. This guy's a fan.

And nothing happens, right? Pepsi doesn't run into one of them, like they don't, nothing appears? Nothing happens. Pepsi is alone. RIP, Pepsi. All right, Pepsi's gonna bite at the air in front of him. Good.

That's a weird thing to do. He's a snake. You roll the attack roll and the flat check yourself. Okay. Hold on. Yeah, here we go flat check yourself. Okay. Hold on. Yeah, here we go. Nothing happens. Okay.

Does Pepsi have scent? That was very convincing. Yes. Oh, Pepsi does have scent. Oh my God, you're a genius. Oh, Pepsi has scent? All right, talk to me about scent. That's the best part.

It can sense creatures by scent for 30 feet. Alright, then let's take you back. Yeah, let's go back, because he would know. Would you move 30 feet up? 30 feet in a straight line. Alright, so let's go back. Right in front, yep. Alright, so Pepsi, you're there.

Yes. Let's take you back to the moment when all those hounds disappeared. You started to smell them all around you. They smell with their tongues. It's like they just... Oh, wait, what? It's like they moved in space to right next to you, all around you, all around your friends. They are invisible and right next to you.

No! Pepsi, with fear in his eyes, because he can't talk because he's a snake, looks around like this. And you know what a scared snake looks like. And Pepsi is going to... Take a square, and I'll do the flat check in the roll. Can Pepsi point Pepsi's head at each of the squares, perhaps, is that... Yes.

It's not a pointing snake. I don't know if we could... If Pepsi hits something, I'll say you recognize that it hit something. Okay. If Pepsi smells a snake to his left and to his front and to his right, you know, you just said that. Which squares are you talking about?

Yeah, I guess you know. He can smell it. Egg also has life sense and can communicate with Eris and can tell her what is his awesome. Joke. Things are. I forgot about that. Tell me the square, Troy. Alright, so Cinemal is sensing creatures by smell.

It's usually a vague sense. So I think you would know what squares. But you still have to roll the flat chair. DC-11 flat chair. Alright, so that's amazing. This stupid snake is actually out there. Holy shit. I mean, what? Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi, Pepsi. And let's not forget. Big Pepsi crap. I know, people love Pepsi. This was a Coke town. We went shopping and Pepsi

is wearing armor. So this is awesome. That's right. It's paid extra for the DLC. It's a barding Stupid snake. All right, so you know that there is a creature right next to you to the right, okay You know, there's a creature diagonally next to you to the northwest Wow you and you have 30 feet Yeah, these aren't actions right you just sense this no, there is one directly next to oh my god Diagonally next to that. Holy shit. And then there is one diagonally next to Ethel. Holy shit. I would say, I've already done it. Yeah. Sorry, the one.

I would say you would know only if it's in the five foot square right next to it. But otherwise it could sense that they're within 30 feet and the direction. Well, it's too late, she knows. It's too late now. And it's fine, I think that this snake has never done anything interesting.

Yeah. That's true. Let's give it this. It needs this. The most interesting thing it ever did was fly on an arrow in a naval fight, and that was basically retconned. And it was retconned. And you took that away from me too. Yeah, for very valid reasons. This is amazing. You said, sorry, you said the one next to Ethel is right behind Pepsi, right?

No, the ones next to Ethel you'd have to move to, but there's two directly next to you. So I will go to the one that is next to Aldo then, wanting to protect Aldo, and Pepsi just lunges to the right and nobody knows what he's lunging at and he's going to try to bite. Okay. I'm going to roll it. You roll it. So it's a flat at and he's gonna try to bite. Okay. So I'm doing, you roll. All right, so it's a flat check, what's your to hit? My to hit is seven plus 17. Okay. I rolled a natural 20 on the flat check.

Oh shit! Oh! And a natty 18 on the hit. Yes! Holy shit, Pepsi! This is Pepsi's moment! This is insanity. Alright, so, Pepsi challenge!

Pepsi challenge! Striking at the one that is to the northwest of you, how much damage? You can roll the damage. So that's going to be... I can't believe this shit. 14 points of piercing damage. Yeah! Piercing damage, you say? Can't believe this shit 14 points of piercing damage. Yeah Okay Piercing damage you say yes, they just check something real quick You feel like all that damage doesn't go through

Visible no Cool, I bite it again Okay, what's your to hit now with the map? Plus 12. Okay, you missed, but I want you to know that I rolled a nat 20 on the hit. Oh wow. And a nat 3 on the flop. It is...

Is it the end of your turn? Yep. It is... Ethel's turn. Oh. Ball sack. Oh, oh. So to aid you, I tell you that there's two next to you.

All right. I guess I'm telling you there's one right to your left and behind you. Okay, I'm going to attack the one that's directly between me and Eris. Father bubbles steps between Suki and Eris and puts his arms around them. Don't be afraid, my ladies.

Everything is going to be all right. Eris turns around and hisses at him. Are you rolling for me or am I rolling for you? What are you doing? Attacking the one. I was busy being sexy. Get out of here, you erotic bastard. Attacking the space next to you. What's your to hit? I'm doing a double slice So you're gonna roll two two two attacks with your flat checks? Okay, plus 25 and plus 23. There you go

Okay, they both miss Check you don't know bro. I told her to make her feel bad Thank you. Take the compliment, Matthew. Thanks. All right. Okay, I will roll a third attack with the Warhammer at a plus 15. Third attack with the Warhammer at a plus 15, I think that is a hit.

Oh, nice. My Warhammer is now a greater striking Frost Warhammer. Nice! That is 22 points of bludgeoning. Okay. I feel like all of that didn't go through. Three points of frost. Okay. I feel like the frost went through. And then Ethel is going to move. Okay. I feel like the frost went through and then Ethel is going to move. Okay, I'm going to move to stand between Eris and these two. It's going to take the long way. So if they have attacks, you move through the space. No, I go around. You go around. Okay, I'm just going to take. Okay, now you don't want to play with your pawn and move correctly. No. So he doesn't provoke. Right.

No, I would provoke. No, I know, so he provokes, but there is no AO. Does the creature do an attack of opportunity on you? It does not. Okay. Heh. Do you want to go Aldo, or you want me to go? I'm gonna let you go. What a guy.

Yeah. Drawing bombs at invisible opponents doesn't seem like the most the smartest thing to do. Alright here's what's gonna happen this might be good for you guys because this one appears right next to Pepsi. Whoa, that's a cool effect. And it goes to strike Pepsi with its head jaws. No. Oh no. Oh no. I want some snakeskin boots because that is a 36 to hit. Oh no.

Okay, it's a hit. It's not a crit it's not a crit. Hit not a crit. Hit not crit. Sorry, just give me a second, I'm gonna find my D10s. Never rolled D10s for damage, they're always hard to find. Hold on, oh, that was a 10. And that one was close to a 10.

This is gonna be a total of 24 points of piercing damage. Okay You're also flat-footed on that first attack, but now it's visible I don't want to do here I'm gonna bite you again. Okay dirty old snake. You want to be the vanguard? You're going down. How's a 29? Do anything for you should have got the heavy barding that that hits that hits. Don't worry It's only 19 points of piercing and because you're up there. I'm striking again And I miss cool Ow and that is the hounds turn

It's Atticus's turn Atticus you know from Pepsi and the life sense and everything there is the hounds turn its Atticus is turn Atticus You know from Pepsi and the life sense and everything there is a hound directly to the north of you You see a hound opposite you Behind Pepsi yeah, this is a tricky situation, but I think very interesting situation Situation I Think yeah, I think in order to be safe. This is a very interesting situation. He's got it he's got it all. Right there. I think Atticus is gonna feel their presence all around he knows Pepsi is sensing them he can see this

happening. Ethel swinging at the air making contact with something and he is just going to, oh I know this trick, I can see right through it. And he's gonna cast See Invisibility. Ah! Oh hell yeah! To start. So See Invisibility, which means, oh man, wouldn't it be cool if we could put that on Foundry? I bet you you can, and we just don't know how.

So he absolutely sees them, but they are concealed to him. They are like misty shapes. So he would still have a DC-5 fletcher. But he knows exactly where they are with no question. Can I...so you say there's one directly above me. Alright, here's what I'm going to do. Just to be cool. I am going to... Be cool, dude.

You want to be cool? I'm going to be cool. I'm going to like Be cool, dude. You wanna be cool? I'm gonna be cool. I'm going to like... Be cool! Put lights where they are. Ooh. Oh, oh, cool. That's something I can barely see. Cool. Oh yeah, you can.

That's a little to no benefit, thank you. What if I make them red lights? Ooh. Oh. You don't have to put them in the wrong tree! I like that. lights. Oh. Oh. Yeah, that's fun. That's awesome. Roxanne! I like that. FG does.

You're not gonna fall in a headlight. Roxanne. Roxanne. Long distance I know you. Ooh. Oh no. Okay. And then I think Atticus,

he is not going to do the heroic thing. I think he, seeing this situation, oh shit, is going to get out of there. But he's going to be very clear and communicate where everything is. There's one there to the north. Get behind me. Two in front of you. And yeah, he's going to move out of there. So that will be, unfortunately, his third action. We'll be moving over behind Suki. Cowardly moves behind Suki.

Father Dick says, it's all right, little fella. I'm just playing my character. It's all right, little fella. Battles are hard and scary. Oh, you know what? I did not playing my character. I'm just playing my character. It's all right, little fella. Battles are hard and scary. I did not realize this horror I would be left next to. You might need to rethink my turn. Just stay out there and get killed. Jesus.

It would be better. Battles are scary. Here, I have this for you. It's cheese. Battles are scary. Here, I have this for you. It's cheese. Oh! If I had an extra action, I'd cast Phantasmal Killer so fast. All right, he's just going to delay on murdering this guy. I'll hold on to this. You'll be all right. It is Aldo's turn.

It's the most raddest thing I've ever heard. Is he a raddest? You're an anti-raddest. After turning the head of that angel statue, there is now like this aura emanating off of it to sort of let you know that that one has been activated. But it's Aldo's turn, Aldo, you delayed. Now you see one of these creatures actually, as you leave, the eyes of this creature seem to follow you like around the corner.

And its gaze is tearing into your very soul. Fixed. Give me a Fortitude save. His eye is fixed on Rivendell. I think we all know what wizards are best at. Oh, Fortitude. That's right. Bad move, LaValley.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. What a fool. All right, let's go to, should we go to some Austin die? Should we go to some Austin die? Should we go to some awesome? Come on, I got a shout out Georgia awesome dies. We got a shout out Georgia from Australia. I feel like I'm in forest gum. She's right there. Who gave me this amazing gift. Her gift was a die I never had to touch.

That's good. That's good. And it lights up. You can't see it with the stage lights, but look at that shit. It lights up. Alright, so I'm just going to shake this, John, and this is going to be my fortitude save. Yeah. Are you confident? She wants us to come to Australia. I think the result of this roll will depend. We'll determine if we go to Australia or not. This will determine for the future. Let's go! Shit!

God! Wow. So it's proven, it is your aura. I mean, this is. It's not your touch. This is hilarious. I don't think, I don't think we're in bottle cap territory. That is going to be a 24.

That is a fail. Of course it is. You take 20 points of slashing damage. Oh no. Just from its gaze? Its gaze is like, something about it looking at you is like tearing at wounds within you. Like unseen wounds. That is so fucking cool. 20 points of slashing damage. I

love fantasy role-playing! Oh, fuck, man. Yeah, this is a very... It's a very difficult situation. Yeah. I don't know what to do here because I think I might actually have to still keep delaying because this is really tough. Like I can't... There's one opponent that I know where... I could see them.

I can't see them where I am right now. I'd have to move into position to actually see them, but if I did, I would be exposing myself to attacks of opportunity, or from the ones that I can't see. So I could also see on the initiative tracker, like these hounds are coming up, so you could wait for one of them to act. Yeah, that's a little metagamy, but it's so smart

to just delay. Yeah, I think. It's actually not that metagamy, because you're like, make yourself visible, you know? Yeah, and it's not like super metagamey but it's so smart to just delay. Yeah I think. It's actually not that metagamey because you're like, make yourself visible, you know? Yeah and it's not like super metagamey, it's like when you're thinking your character like in the midst of this happening has a better feel for the rhythm of what's happening in the combat than like we do looking at it. Yeah. Which is represented by the initiative but it's just like this.

And I also think that completely non-metagame, like you are way more likely to throw at something you can see than to just throw a bomb into thin air. Throw a bomb of bottled lightning at someone next to one of my employees, I guess, in my eyes. A valued employee. Right. Valued. Yeah, valued employee, we love him, but, you know, whatever.

All right, so I'm gonna delay. I'm gonna delay. You're gonna delay. All right. Another one appears. Wham. It appears. Swash, swash, swash.

Ooh, it being red is. Dude, it looks so cool in the red light. Well, actually, before I get to that, Aldo, same thing that happened to Atticus happens to you, that creature that's around the corner, its gaze seems to tear into your very being. Give me a fortitude save. Oh, is there, do I get a bonus from me not wanting that to have happened? You do, but it doesn't count. Okay, alright is it? A Fortitude? Fortitude save, yeah.

29. 29. Okay, that's good. You're going to take five points of damage. Not too shabby. Not too shabby. However, this other one comes up and it becomes visible as it goes to bite you. Aldo you mean? Excuse me Aldo. However, I'm looking here. I'm going to move in such a way that doesn't provoke from. It doesn't matter because you were invisible during the move. That's right. Thank you. Thank you for being honest. That's why you have a bottle cap. All right, here comes it's a Jaws. Terrible roll. Yes! 22? Miss! Yes! I love it

when it gets angry. All right, let me see where I am here. Okay, and then I'm gonna I'm gonna try to bite you again. I roll a d10? I just saw that. It was really weird. What the dunce? Don't look at my dice, Dre. I don't look at your numbers, but I saw like an odd shaped die going to the thing. All right, this is gonna be a 24. That's another miss.

Too big. No. Too big. Too big. Sloppy misses. All right, so now Aldo, do you wanna go? Now I will go. You want to go? You want to go, dude?

All right, so Aldo is going to take a little five foot step back with his first action. And then with his second action, he's going to throw. They're playing it up for Georgian. That's perfect. With second action, I'm going to throw. She's just feeling like she's home. Really playing it up. I just want her to feel homesick.

I'm going to throw. Stop it. One of my new formulae. Which is a greater bottle of lightning, that are in it, the opponent. So bad. Hey, dude, Georgia is laughing so hard. I think this is working.

We watched one of the concords backstage, I think it really messed it up. We were just watching. That is a 35 to hit! That is a hit. Yes! Nice! Let's go! What kind of damage is this?

Well, I have to explain. Because... I'm so happy. With our monetary rewards that we were able to procure from our adventurings, I purchased a rune of greater striking for my bandelier throwers, bandelier. Oh wow. Which earns me triple damage dice for bombs

Sound like Michael Palin doing Hello Sheila was that a bottle of lightning good I Bruce That is 44 points of damage What kind of damage 44 points of damage. Oh! What kind of damage? 44 points of electricity damage. All right, you fucking kill it. Yeah!

Whoa! Oh hell yeah! And as it dies, it's very, very strange. Like as it's slain, it like erupts in this frenzy of ripping entrails, breaking bones and a terrible shriek that sounds like tearing metal. It's just just like that's it. Wow. Tearing metal. That's so weird. What is that? I don't want to hear one down. Three to go. Okay. Oh go. It didn't hurt anyone though?

No, it didn't hurt anyone. It's just gross and weird. All right, so I don't really... What are things you can do with actions? Aid, knowledge check. I am going to do a knowledge check. I am going to do an account check. can do with actions? Aide, knowledge check? I am going to do a knowledge check.

I am going to do an occultism knowledge check. Oh! That is like 35. 35, okay. That is enough. I can give you a bit of information here. What's one thing you'd really like to know? Uh, resistances, immunities, social security numbers? Do you have a pen?

I'd love to steal their identity. Mothers made a name and so, no. We could use that information to become sleeper agents in whatever realm they come from. You enter the country illegally. That's true. Does that sound like trying to get a mortgage to years from now?

Set up a life on a separate site. I have perfect credit. We buy an apartment in their name and slowly erode their credit. That's one way to defeat them. Run my score again. I would like to know their weaknesses, please. Any weaknesses.

I'm just trying to picture this guy in a credit office. I'd like you to run my credit again. I have an impeccable record. I have an impeccable record. I have an impeccable record! No, no, something must be wrong! You must be mistaken! I pay my bills! I pay my bills!

I pay my bills! I pay my bills! I'm very diligent at running my bills! I'm very diligent at running my bills! I'm very diligent at running my bills! Run it again. What'd you say you wanted to learn? I wanted weaknesses.

Apart from death. Weaknesses? Yes. All right, it has none. So I'll tell you it's resistances. It is resistant to mental, Shit. Physical,

Shit. And poison. Resistant, which means it's taking less damage from physical attacks. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, I don't even care. Go, go, go ahead. Do you have any actions left?

No, that's my last third action. I should have used that ripping action now, and not when I did it before So now it will move on Down three Joe's gonna miss this because it is tiny little bladder This hound appears Oh goes to strike Ethel with its jaw That really is cool. It's cool. And then that neat? It's cool looking. VTT. Here we go. Feeling good about this roll. How about a nat 20? Nope. 26 total. Miss. Yeah!

Poop! Here comes the jaws again. That was against flat-footed. It's still gonna be a miss. Okay, because it was invisible for that first one, and then miss on the second one. And I'm just gonna keep at it for the, uh, and miss on the third one. You lucky... Nice! You lucky son of a gun. Alright, so that one is now visible, and the red light special is over, and then it goes to Hound four appears right next to Ethel there. This one looks like a little weaker than the other ones.

Didn't look weaker before, but right now it seems like a little, like it's got maybe like a little fear in its eyes. Oh, let's taunt it. The first thing it does is it steps below you. And then all of a sudden it looks like beefier and stronger again. It regained its confidence in that one step.

And then it goes to bite you. Ethel with the second action. Me? Yep. Him? Oop! 25. Miss.

Yeah. Yeah. And then second action, will go excuse me third action will go to bite eras That's a 29. Oh that just hits with all my things Things you take 20 points of piercing damage, okay, okay, okay 20 points of piercing damage They are all visible. It is Eris's turn. One is dead. What do you do, Eris?

All right. Welcome back. You brought her dice? Those are mine. I asked him to get my dice. Sydney asked me to get her dice. She said they were on a table. Did you just grab all the dice in the room?

I grabbed five sets of dice that were on the table. Her response was, none of those are mine. What? Yeah, none of those are mine. I think some of those are mine. Folks gave me really nice dice and I left them backstage. I'm sorry, I want to roll them. But I guess if you want a job done right, you got to be a woman.

But I guess if you want a job done right you got to be a woman She's using that shit talking as a smoke screen because she has to go pee All right, so here's what you missed worry about it I heard I heard every second of it because it's the greatest theater of all time though it is It is a little disconcerting to be peeing and then hear Troy be like, that's a fucking mess. You should say, speakers in the bathroom love this place. Let's go. Urs.

That's so funny. Like I'm telling you, you missed. Yeah, exactly. You missed. No I didn't. No I didn't. Dad. So dumb.

All right. All right. All right, I'm gonna do what I was't. Dad. So dumb. All right. All right. All right. I was gonna do what I was planning on doing. I wanna cast with my staff. You see it all light up and be cool and stuff. Whoa. Void warp on the hound right in front of me

that seems a little stronger now. So it needs to make a basic fortitude save. It seems like. Basic fort save action? It seems like. How about a 31? That just passes. My DC now is 30 for that. So thanks. So I guess you're fine, right?

I'm fine. What was it? Was it a basic? Void Warp. I don't know. It says, um... It's basic, so it's still 2d4 damage. I'll just take half of 2d4. Oh, okay, so it's 7d4 because I'm level 11. Oh, so you hiding it. Yeah, so... Wait, did you say this is from your staff?

Yeah. My staff can cast stuff. But it's not gonna cast it at your level, it's gonna cast it at the level that's in the staff. What does that mean? What? Is it a sixth level staff? What level is the spell at? The staff is item level six. No, no, no, the actual spell in the staff has like...

It says cantrip, chill touch, which is now void. Oh yeah, no, that is level to your level. I didn't know it was a cantrip. that is level to your level. You're absolutely, I didn't know it was a cantrip. That is level to your level. Thanks, Joe. I didn't know it was a cantrip. Thanks, Joe. I thought it was a spell level situation. Wow. Thanks.

All right, let me just go back to the screen that I was on. I never heard of void warp. Roll 74 and half it. Void touch, explaining. So that's, oh, half of an odd number is hard. Eight points of damage. Eight points of damage.

Cool. Of the void variety. And then, I know I failed at identifying these things when they were invisible, but can I try to roll a knowledge on what made it maybe stronger? Because I observed that new thing. Do you need any help? Oh! My darling. I thought. Do you need any help? My darling.

I thought you said you wouldn't help. No, I won't. But I can give you encouragement. Suki seems into you. So can you just leave me alone? Let your father dick go around. What do you want to do? I want to try to roll a knowledge check on whatever made it go from weak to strong.

Or what was going on there. Because I observed that. Okay, okay. You already rolled a knowledge check and failed on it. But you're looking for something specific here, so I'm going to allow it. Give me an occultism check. That's how you work for the room. I'm allergic to the city. I'm allergic to the cedar and your wind here.

It's killing me, I look high. 42? Oh my gosh. Oh my. My occultism is plus 24. Okay, this is a D20 system, not a D100 system. Anyway, noice. 42. 42. So what'd you system? Noise. 42.

42. So what'd you roll at? 18. She can learn about the life universe and everything with this roll. Alright, here's what I'm gonna tell you. I know exactly what that little dog did. Here's what I'm gonna tell you.

This is a hound of cindolos. You now are absolutely sure of this. This is a stronger variety than your run-of-the-mill Hound of Tindi. And they have this thing about them, and Elder Theor even sort of alluded to this, that they are vulnerable to curved space. When a Hound of Tindi is not adjacent to a structural angle of 90 degrees or more acute, its resistances to physical damage are suppressed and it becomes sickened. It can't recover from the sickened condition,

but the condition ends automatically once the hound is again adjacent to a suitable angle. So cool. It's like allergic. This is the seventh amber alert I've gotten since I landed in this town. What is going on in Texas? What is going on out here? So cool. It's like a seventh amber alert. I've got What is going on out here? So heiress says it's like allergic to right angles and corners and it gets sick so

Move it away from the walls draw it away from the walls And you know that there is a level above this, like a meditation chamber that is circular that Elder Theor mentioned. Like if you run into trouble, you can always go there and the house won't bother you. Okay, heard. Is that your turn? That is my turn. We're going to round three.

Yeah, round three, kicking it off. This is a big round. This is the sexiest round of them all. Huge round. So huge. Suki, you're up. Suki seen Pepsi get viciously attacked by this... This is a gift from Yonej.

By this hound. To me. They were mine! I didn't say they were mine, I said they specifically were not mine. Suki, seeing Pepsi get attacked by this hound, gets her staff, because she's got a cool staff now too, she went shopping. And she's gonna cast a second level heal and shrug off Father Dick. And she's gonna go, Pepsi! And gonna cast secondlevel heal on Pepsi.

The ranged heal on Pepsi? Because I love my snakes so much. Nice. Then that's a two-action Jon, and then Pepsi. Looks like Stukie already has a snake. Has anyone ever seen the movie Pantypool, where the like infecting, that's what John is for this group. And then, oh she'll cast, as her third action, she'll cast Guidance on Ethel. Okay, there we go.

Well, it just so happens to be Ethel Turret. Ethel, you have a dead hound that you're being. Pepsi is going to act on his own accord because he's mature and a big boy. So mature. And he's going to bite the hound that is adjacent to him. Okay. You can see it now, so you can roll yourself.

Cool. That's gonna be a 27. 27 is a hit. Nice! We got this! We got this! Okay, that's gonna be 12 piercing.

12 piercing. Don't, I did it fast, I did it fast, I did it. I did it! Oh no! Oh no! Sydney's doing math! They saw me lift my hand up and they were like, ha ha ha ha ha ha!

You did hesitate. Got you! You hesitated on whatever my hand up and they were like, ha ha ha ha ha ha. Got you. You did hesitate. You hesitated on whatever math added up to 12. You hesitated. They are not out of order, ma'am. They are not out of order. Give them an inch. It takes two points of piercing damage

because of its resistance. Resistance! Ten! From the forty- what did I say? Twelve? Twelve, yeah. From the forty-two points of damage? Is that- do you want to do it again? What? Do you want to do it again or are you done?

Can I do it again? No, no, no, you're done. I don't think you can do it again. She's done. Now you're right. I get one when I don't command. There's something I forgot that I'm not going you're right. I get one when I don't command. Yeah, something I forgot that I'm gonna get again Eris and Suki and Pepsi give me a fortitude save Understand what this ability is where it's coming. You don't need to understand it. You just need to roll not me But you didn't say my name. Oh, shh stop yelling at me

Ethel does not need to go anything. Oh man, Ethel you'll do it at the end of your turn. Okay. All right, what did you get? Urs. Man, this math is too big. Who me? 37. 37? Nice! You take no damage. Yeah. Nice. Sucs Maguks. Suki got a 20. Pepsi, I rolled a nat 2. Pepsi got a 27. Pepsi has a plus 25 fortitude save? No, no. Suki rolled a nat 2, Pepsi got a 27. Pepsi has a plus 25 fortitude save? No, no, Suki rolled a nat 2. Pepsi rolled a nat 10. Okay, so Pepsi got a 27.

Okay, Pepsi is going to take 15 points of damage. So you just healed Pepsi. There goes your heal. And then you rolled a... I rolled a 20.. I rolled a 20. And Egg rolled a 30. No one cares about Egg. You know what?

Egg is important! I got to deal with a snake, and now I got to deal with a puppet! Egg is important. No one cares. Do we think I should use a cap for this? You take 13 points. Oh, okay.

Cap it. And then Egg rolled a what? 30. All right, Egg's fine. No, Egg actually takes five points of damage. Alright, alright. Are you tracking egg's hit points? Yeah, they have their own hit points.

Alright, I've lost my place with all your fucking side characters. It's my turn, it's my turn. I hate side characters. Except for Father Dick. I know, that's your character. I might side characters. Except for Father Dick. I know, that's your character. I might keep him around for a while. Everybody. Yeah, yeah, something tells me

the monsters aren't gonna attack Father Dick. Even when he's in the most exposed. Do you think Father Dick should make it to Christmas? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're too kind. I think after two counseling sessions with Ethel, Troy will quickly speed his exit along.

Christmas? Nephas begins celebrating Christmas on October 1st. Oh no. We're going to have to kill him ourselves. Sorry, Portland and LA. It's beginning to look All right, that's Lee No April I'm gonna double slice the hound directly to the south of me

Don't forget you're hasted I'm hasted. I also have guidance. Yes, so this is the child and heroism. Do you say you have doubts? You're welcome The chunk is the war hammer. Oh no. Oh no. You didn't. You piece of shit. It's a naturalist of ones. Oh yes. Oh no. I do. Matthew. I'm going to use the bow or cap. You're gonna use the cap. Good choice. Okay. No! Okay, I gotta do math in my head now. That is a 43 to hit.

What?! That's a critical hit. That is a critical hit. That is a critical hit. Double damage. The hatchet was a 32. That's a hit. That is a critical hit. And? Double damage. The hatchet was a 32. That's a hit. Critical and a regular hit.

Okay. Nice. But no fan. Correct. Okay, great. Give me a minute to do math and then I'm going to hit you some more. Tell me right now. Just make it up.

Or it doesn't take any damage. It's dead. Give them to me separate because of its resistance. And these ones, almost, they all took damage from the lightning bolt. This thing's going down. Right. Now took damage from the lightning bolts things going down right now The lightning bolt was the last cool thing you did in this come my favorite thing about All those is his apps that are AI generated. They're really weird and lumpy. I like Bring him up again 42 points of bludgeoning. Oh

It looks like he's been in a car accident. This is horrible. And four points of frost. Okay. Sorry, I'm trying to do a lot of things right now. And then for the hatchet. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! What did he roll? That's what he's saying. He's like, what did he roll? Put your abs away, they're weird.

24 points of slashing damage. It does look like an alien is coming out of his chest. There's something really wrong with him. Alright. What did you roll in the second thing? 24 points of slashing damage. Okay. And I'm going to use my third action to flins you.

Oh! Oh yeah. No, that would, that would do it. Flins me in the morning. Yeah, flins with benefits. Basically. Nice. Woo! Because I like this town, you get a bottle of cap.

Yeah! Wow, that get a bottle of cap. Wow, that was a crowd cap if I've ever seen one. Crowd cap. I know the crowd really, they try to get the caps more than you guys do. The flens is important because you take 3d8 persistent bleed damage on your turn, you also become off guard guard and your resistances to any physical damage types is reduced by five. It's huge.

It's fucking huge. Do I take any immediate damage? No. That's pretty big. Alright, so I'm bleeding. Persistent Bleach. And I'm gonna do one, I'm gonna do a final attack because of haste with the Warhammer with the map. Are you gonna go after the one that you just went after?

Continuing to go after the same one. Okay. Oh, no, that's a good point. That's why I'm asking. You go after a different one because it's got the bleed. I'll go after the other one. It's just my tactical play. That's probably going to miss with a 24.

That is a miss. But damn, you look good doing it. Damn, you look good doing it. All right. Nice turn, Ethel. Yeah, good turn. Good turn. Good answer. How number one's turn? You know the one that has barely taken damage.

It is going to try and murder Pepsi. Oh wait, Ethel. Give me a Fortitude save. This will be wasted on you. That is a 30. All right, you take four points of damage, or no, you take nothing, because that's a critical six. That's nice. Nice!

What is that power called again? It's called Battle Hardened. Ooh, yeah. So good. Your friend, he seems battle hardened. Watching this unfold is making me battle-hardened. Yeah, oh I bet. The everyday battles of marriage have hardened me. He's gonna bite Pepsi. That is a

33, little Larry Bird action. Yeah, it hits. It's a normal regular not important hit. Don't have to say like that. Uninteresting hit average basic hit. Yeah basic hit. You're basic. Yeah, well the damage is pretty basic as well. 13 points of piercing second attack. Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot one thing. Oh, yeah, that first hound is knocked prone. Oh That seems that seems important. First hound is knocked prone, you say? Yes, the one directly to the south of me. I don't have my glasses. Poor old guy.

All right. All right, second attack there, Susie. Is a 32. Yes. You left your snake there. You did this to yourself. Oh, 22 points of piercing. That's quite bad.

And final attack. Oh, man, this is an old LaValley prototype die here. How about a 20? How about a twin zoning? Nope, 19? Miss. Okay. Thank God. Good round for the Hound.

That rhymed. Atticus. Oh, Atticus. Where's your lightning bolt now, brisket boy? It'll be worth it. Do it. Do it. Brisket Joe! Brisket Joe! I'm telling you it'll be worth it, do it, do it. I'm telling you it'll be worth it, Atticus. Almost like an old man, feebly, moves the 10 feet to the south.

Yeah, like Master Splinter. Like Master Splinter, yes, no copyright violation. No, not at all. A legally distinct version of nothing to do with an expert. I'd like to try to explain a joke right now that will be hard to explain because it's only on my screen. I have two computers here. One projects that image. Another one is what I use to move Atticus around. And when I went back to that screen, which I hadn't touched in one round, one round, I had to close five different pictures of Dick Bubbles. That's how many times we have to see Dick Bubbles' chest, apparently.

He stumbles to the south. It looks like stumbling because he leans on something, a new object, something he never had before. Is it the cheese that Bubbles gave you? No, he eschewed the cheese. SAM and MARISHA and SAM and LAURA and SAM and In Casimir, before he set off on his journey, he found himself a rather expensive staff. Ooh.

One that crackles with elemental energy. Oh. And as he takes two steps to the south, he turns to the two hounds yet in in another line, and reaches out the staff, and emerging from it is a burst of electricity. Go! Yeah! Yeah!

We're shaking it to save! Another lightning bolt, a reflex save, if you please. A little reflex save for these two fellas, stupidly standing there. They have to, they have to be near a wall. No concealment issue, let's go. First one rolled a 23. Oh baby!

Where are the reflexes on these two? That's the one that's on the ropes. The second one, another 23! Wow! Phenomenal! Oh! Oh! They each take 32 points of electricity damage. Ding! As that was a lower level lightning bolt that did just as much damage as the other one.

There was an 11 and a 12 in that 4D12. Let's rock. That's one of the nuts. The first one turns to a crisp. Yes! Yes! Yes! And the second one screams, but as that first one dies,

it dies in the same horrible manner as the first one, this ripping, tearing sound, and like metal being ripped, I think I said, the shriek, and then it goes out, and just a pile. Well, this is the thing, because they emerged from this, Like metal being ripped, I think I said. The shriek and then it goes out and just a pile.

Well this is the thing, it's like, because they emerged from this, the mirror, or whatever, like liquid metal, like the T-1000. Yeah, well I- Let me shout out, let me shout out Sydney's genius. I whispered to Joe. So I said to Sydney, I need an action to get a recall knowledge on what this metal thing is even though

it's not hurting us I was like what is this did someone make them are they constructs and then Sydney said something that blew my fucking mind and I gave her a Joe bottle cap oh which is not you valid it is not currency in this particular game. You can use it in Delta Green. You can use it in Delta Green. Yeah. That's an actual deal. Because this is so good. I couldn't help myself. Sydney, what did you say in that moment? I thought back and I was like, well, if they came through the mirror, the Axial Knights

were the ones that were supposed to come out. So perhaps they are corrupted axial nights oh they are metal typically they're made of metal Wow like corrupted the corrupted like kind of version I don't know a corrupted version of the axiomatic yeah oh that's interesting how cool is that who knows if it's true but it doesn't matter now because I got a bottle cap you Jellis. You got to get in the trunk bottle cap. Hey, actually, Sid, I'm going to give you a bottle cap for the Legacy of the Ancients. What?

That was awesome. Oh my god. This has never happened before, Austin. This is the first. Fuck you, Troy. We don't even want it. It's our games. Fuck you, Troy.

Fuck you, Troy. Fuck you, Troy. Fuck you, Troy. Fuck you, Troy! That's it, you brought this on yourself. No, wait. Guys, say sorry. No! How dare you! Truss and Nethus, you don't need caps when you have pecs like these And one weird bulge in your arm

Oh, it's hot in here All right, so you think that perhaps the axio mites not axio knights yes, I'm sorry Oh, we have been bastardized into these hounds that emerged from the mirror. Father, I was going to say Father Cock. I forgot what his name was. What? I mean, that's basically what he is, let's be honest.

Father Dick, Father Bubbles. Father Bubbles is like, I don't like the looks of these creatures. Something is wrong here. The Enchanted Mirror is supposed to bring about something else. I have a fear that this will not stop. We must end this fight and investigate the mirror. Thanks. Okay.

And that is how you railroad your players without them knowing. That's right. It's hard in here. Thank you, pornographic priest. Atticus, do you have any other actions? No, that is the end of my turn. I wish there was a haste version just for knowledge. Role of Fortitude save.

Oh shit, because I came into the line of sight. Yes. Animal across the way. Ooh. All right, well then I will go with another Austin die. Yeah. This one from a friend I met pre-show who said only, you must invoke its name and it will serve you well.

We'll see. What's the name? The name. The Azelbub? Is, let me look at my photo to say first. Here we go. The name is, I invoke thee, pestilence. Ooh. Oh. That's gonna be all right, 31. Ooh. The name is, I invoke thee, Pestilence.

Oh. That's gonna be all right, 31. Ooh, that is all right. All right. Seven points of damage. Seven points of damage, I'll take it. Thank you, Pestilence. Okay.

Thank you. And Pestilence. Shout out, Pestil out pestle and see here. It's got a lot of a lot of airplay in the media lately, but not enough. Thanks Okay, something I should have time Something I should have been doing since the beginning of the fight and I didn't I'm going to start enacting now So you guys benefit from this the fact that I forgot this you have to roll against each of the hounds gaze so give me another I didn't understand what was going on with this case if she felt he was only hound one only how no it's yeah yeah so I roll give me another fire poke the pestilence natural twad Natural 20! Yeah! He's twerking me!

He's twerking me! Look at that shit! Where are you? Raise your hand. There he is right there, my man! Not only do you take no damage, you're immune to that gaze. Yeah! Look at that shit! Where are you? Raise your hand. Where are you? There he is right there, my man. Not only do you take no damage,

you're immune to that gaze. Yeah! Oh! Oh! On a critical success. However, don't ever hump my chair again. It was more of a, that's all right, we'll discuss it later.

It was more of a grind. I didn't like it. Oh, did I? It's Aldo's right. We will discuss it later. It was more of a grind. I didn't like it. Or did I? It's Aldo's turn. Aldo! You have bombs there on your chest. What do those do? Aldo...

is... Let's do it involuntarily now. Aldo is going to move 15 feet to get into better position. Okay. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible.

Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. At a certain point, someone unlocked the formula for the Australian accent. It was just like, just put an R on the end of everything. So that person should be put on trial in Canberra.

Canberra. All right, so I am gonna thrar a, I'm gonna throw another, a greater bottle of lightning at the... Oh yes. Hounds. Do it. Actually to the seal. The hand to the seal, that one's taking significant damage.

All right. Here we go. Just got hit by a lightning bolt. Bolt, bolt, bolt, bolt. That is a 41 to hit. Oh my god. That is a critical hit. Oh!

Double damage. Okay, that is 68 points of damage. Wow! Show me what the survey says. Dead Zone! Dead Zone-y! Beautiful and sharp. Dead Zone! Dead Zone-y! Beautiful!

And sir? Uh... With the... With my final action of the round, I'm going to throw a moderate alchemist flyer at the... No, you know what? what fuck it I'm gonna throw grab another greater lightning yeah why not I don't think this thing's been touched at the one yeah yeah yeah fuck for like it has the resistance so it's not that yeah yeah get it get it Aldo kill it natural 20 27 That's a hit. Yeah. Yeah. That is 28 points of damage. Okay. Finally, this one's getting

chunked down. It is a flat footed off guard to our attacks until the beginning of our next round. Add two. All right, takes until the beginning of my next round. All right. Off guard now, there's only one left, so just give me one fortitude save. Me? Yes. I'd prefer it to be you, yes.

Arr. You're doing so well. I sit every time I want to apologize to Trouty right here. That is a 36. Oh my god, you take four points of damage. Wait, 36? Yeah, four points of damage. Wow. All right, everybody calm down. Guys are doing all right. It is Eris's turn. Eris. Hey. So, so many of my spells are like mental spells, which is great to know that that doesn't matter to them.

So, I'm going to, now that I know that piercing is less of a resistance for them, cast Phase Bolt. Phase. On the final remaining one, because it does more damage, and I have the opportunity to maybe crit. Oh, fuck this dice, no, no. This one's been good. Well, Phase Bolt action, is that heightened?

It's a cantrip, so yeah, it's automatically heightened. Okay. I'm gonna use the bottle cap that we get at the beginning of every session that you said that we get right now. I suppose. Wait, why are you using it? Did you miss?

Because I rolled a natural three. Oh, I missed that. If you must know. Use your cap. It's not every circle. Okay, I mean it's like double what I rolled. Okay. So that's a 26 to hit?

Is it off guard, Skib? To everyone? Yeah. Then that's a hit. Yeah! Worth it. Alright, 8d4, piercing. 8d4? 8d4, piercing.

17 points of damage. 17 points of damage. It does not all go through if it's piercing Yeah, but you do Hit it with a face bolt any actions remaining um Raising my shield Give me a fortitude save as this thing fortitude. It's private eyes are watching you alright and if thing. It's private eyes are watching you. All right. Private eyes are watching you.

Watching your every move. If egg is in my cloak, do they have to roll? No, because I don't care about egg. I mean, you should. Such a weird way to be generous and dismissive at the same time. It's like that of us are dismissive at the same time. 31. 31, okay.

That is a save, not a critical save. Still going to be nine points of damage as I rolled some rocks. Okay. All right, that's what Eris does. There is one more enemy. And all I want to do is sing private eyes right now. I'm going to hold off. Suki, it's your turn. Suki. Suki, what are you going to do now? Says Father Bubbles. Suki turns. Your prowess in battle is unmatched. Don't listen to him, he's so annoying. The lithe way with which you move about is intoxicating. Suki turns, Father Bubbles has his arm around Suki, right? She turns into him, touching her hands to his bare chest.

Oh my. And the wind in this closed stagnant air building is blowing in her hair. Hey Father Bubbles, do you deal with sexual dysfunction at all? in this closed, stagnant air building is blowing. Her hair, and her dress. Do you deal with sexual dysfunction at all? What? Not right now, off. Are you actually ruining my sexy moment?

Don't interrupt! Do you? She didn't ruin your constant porno last week, or whatever, two days ago. Suki kicks Ethel while she turns. Listen. Yes? My life is complicated.

I understand. I understand. I understand. I understand. Why is this happening again? Why is this happening again? I have problems, I'm complicated. I have problems, I'm complicated.

We're all troubled. I just don't know if I'll have the space, the time, the mental energy for you. It's the first six seconds that we've known this guy. Listen, we're in the middle of battle. We're all a little heated. We? Yeah. But after this is all over,

perhaps we can make the space. Perhaps, but right now, I have to do something I have been wanting to do all night. And then she turns away from you and marches over to the Hound, and I cast Produce Flame, and over to the hound and I cast produce flame and I slap the hound across the face. Yeah!

And I say, Everybody talks to me of our son that way! The hard work we've been putting in for years. So you walk up right next to it? Yeah. And what is the save? No save, I'm gonna attack you. Okay.

Fuck. You wanna use your bottle count to reroll? Do it! Yes. Do it, come on! It goes away. I'll just clear all my other dice so it's a nice clean roll. You guys know what I mean, when it hits the dice you're like, that didn't count.

That's gonna be 24, no, 34. Oh no, oh no! Sydney's doing well! 34. Are you sure? And he's off guard, but yes. All right, that is a hit, not a crit. Okay, that's fine 23 points of fire damage

So impressive does Do you kill it? He's alive now. Give me a four-digit save as it's staring through your soul. Okay. I know. Yeah, natty19. Natty19, what's the totes? Who knows? Might be a crit again.

Yeah, Mr. Crit, you're immune. Oh no! Sydney's doing murder! It's like as if you were gonna add 19 and 18, so it's probably 36, 37. 37 is eight. Science will never know the answer. There's no.

We've got our top men on this one. Top men. Top men. Top men. And that's a critical success, so you're immune to it as well. Yeah! Pepsi, seeing his mother so upset, is gonna bite.

I rolled a 37 the first time, Eris, so I shouldn't be rolling, and I'm gonna give myself five points back. That's fine, I thought one of you rolled a crit, but I didn't want to give you the hit points back. So rude, so rude. But I believe you. Strangely honest.

Yes. That's gonna be a 34 to hit for Pepsi? That's it. I'm allergic to this town! We're not coming back, I changed my mind. Oh no! Whoa! All right, I'll buy some Zyrtec!

By the way, Strange Aeons is now sponsored by Zyrtec. Zyrtec, when you go to a weird town where the air is poisonous. I love this whole thing, it's been like a long con for Zyrtec. The second I got off the plane, I'm like, what is wrong with the air? What are you doing? 12 points of piercing, I sure hope it had two points of health left and sadly no But give me a fortitude save for all killing this snake 35

That was so fast it must be wrong 35 it was 35 it was five points of piercing Damage all right Ethel it is Ethel's turn. Ethel, can you end this? Finish it! Please do it. Please do it. Oh, he's flanking! Please!

Let's hear it for Ethel! Oh! Oh! You got this, babe. Am I flanking with Suki around the corner? Or is that because the corner is? Yeah, sure. Great, all right, great.

All right, that was first action, move up there. Second action, double slice. Double slice. Chonkers the war hammer. Chachachachan. Okay, that is going to be a 44. Crit. Just kill!

Just kill! And a 28. Hit. Yeah! Crit, double damage, hit, single damage, and this. Give it to me all separate. 40 points of bludgeoning. Oh my, wait, the double slice isn't combined for the purposes of bypassing resistances? It does. Yeah! See, it cuts both ways. Whoa.

That's all the brisket. So wait, what happened? They're combined for bypassing resistance. Ah! Because it's a double slice ability. Ah. So that'll be 67 points of damage. Oh! When I was walking in Memphis

I was walking with my feet ten feet off a beat God! Father Richard runs up and says, oh, let me help. Oh, you guys got it under control. All right. Oh, I was worried. Didn't want to have to start punching. You are out of combat. These hounds that attacked you, all that's left of them is like a pile of gore. As each of them fell, it all went through the same thing of bones breaking, entrails ripping out of their bodies, almost like they were being inverted in space and time. And there's just this puddle of gore.

Looking to the north, you see this enchanted mirror that Elder Theor talked about. You see a long hallway, you see more doors, you see doors to the east. What do you do? Let's move to the mirror. I treat wounds on Pepsi just so we know I'm doing that. I'm just doing that.

He almost died. Oh, that's 10 minutes. Yes, it's smart to take care of your psyche. Take our time. We must be smart about this. Yuki, you were incredible. Right. Well done, and Pepsi.

I've never seen you do anything. Father Cock, is there any way that you can help us? It's, it's- I know that you don't roll initiative, but for healing. Ah, yes, I can help you. What do you need my son? Well, I just...

Heal the snake. No, no, no, no, no. No look, I'm hurt. And when I get this feeling, I need... What? I cannot provide that. Well, they're just regular healing.

So can you provide regular healing? The heal spell perhaps. The healing that I give you is through the power of my words. Sure it may not staunch your wounds, but it will heal your emotional scars. I've your emotional scars I've got emotional scars Don't don't treat him Ethel don't listen to me. He needs no don't treat him He needs the edge. What do you think it means when someone tells you your soul is corrosive? But when I said that I meant it like it's hot I

Like that When I said that, I meant it like it's hot. I like that. We should press on. Aldo, come here. And she puts her hands on your face. Such a kind soul. I'm not pushing the button. No, no! Adjust your goggles. Adjust your goggles a little'm gonna actually, yeah. Adjust your goggles a little bit,

and you get 36 points of healing. Okay, thank you very much. Oh, Suki, while you are doing that magnificent healing, could I perhaps, Ethel? Ethel, no! No! No! No!

No! Come back. Could I perhaps ask you for your services as well? I'm very injured. Of course. That strange creature slashed at me with its eyes. I've never seen anything like it. While she's doing that, could I do a recall knowledge on the way that they sort of vanished?

The metal, the sort of way that they crushed in upon themselves Just get a sense of yeah, I can understand why that happened. Yeah sure So I'm going to do occultism okay, and that is a 32 30 32. 32. Thank you so much. You're welcome so much. I know you're concentrating right now.

Suki healed the shit out of me off mic. Took 30 minutes though, we've treated wounds three times. Oh, so it's been a half an hour. Yeah, I don't wanna waste spells on you guys. No, but there is, there is no rush. The count is long gone. Ethel!

No! Come back. Please. Just because this is the first encounter we've ever had when you haven't gone dying. Ethel, there is no rush. Wait a minute. Father.

Father. Father. Father. Father. Father Dick said, Father Dick said we had to check out the mirror immediately. He did. But Atticus is thinking really hard about what the mirror could be. Atticus, you were all day 32. I trust him in pecs.

Somebody pecs. What? Implicitly, implicitly. I trust him in peckin picks somebody picks implicitly implicitly I trust him implicitly there's a lot going on with you five I have much to learn from you you rolled a 32 and your occultism check to try and figure out what that death was all about of these creatures and it kind of reminded you in a way of your battle with the denizens of Leng that you faced and you rolled knowledge on the denizens of Leng and you remembered that like they don't really die. Yes.

They like reform on their plane. You know what I mean? When you fought that one underneath Laos' estate, she like laughed at you. Wair'alei was like, you can't kill me, I'm just going to reform. Like you know this, there was something in the way these hounds perished. Being from a dimension, a plane similar to Leng, Tyndalo's, it's you know, in the same ballpark. You get the sense that like, they didn't really die.

That they're, they're reforming elsewhere. Then your eyes lock on that mirror. It was only a temporary measure. They are not truly destroyed, only briefly defeated. Ethel! Yeah? Ethel, keep going. Get back here. Go alone. My eyes are locked in the mirror.

Do you think we can like? Wait, come on, what? Get behind me. No! Get behind me, dick. I'm with you. All right, can we check out this mirror now? Yes.

I also want to add, I was thinking really hard, and when I was writing notes down in the last session, I did write down Axio Knights. And I've come to realize that is not what he was talking about, they are not armored creatures that come through the mirror, and I just want everyone to know that. Well, no, I mean, perhaps, yes, but I do believe that there is some instinct you have there

that is correct. Perhaps. Something, something. Thank you, Atticus. Can you move my pawn up with that? Hey guys, I found two more angels. As you get to the mirror and look through, you see in the distance, almost as if it's in slow motion,

a pack of hounds racing towards the mirror. Oh shit! Break it, break the mirror! Smash it, smash it! Now you can swing! Swing the mirror! Swing, smash it! I take the mirror and I press it to the floor,

so if they come out, they're just gonna have to bump against the wall. No, smash it! Destroy it! Smash it! It could be valuable. No! Ethel, smash the mirror! Destroy the mirror!

Smash the mirror! Why are you putting it on the ground? Alright, fine, whatever. Smash! With the hammer. You smash with the hammer. Great, now I got seven years of bad luck. Thanks guys. I didn't have enough problems remain seven more years I thought I told you that confidence

We're not responsible for anything in previous to your employment need with us It happens to everybody, all right? You smash the mirror. It's like that scene from the Who's Tommy. Yeah. Shhh. And the hounds like break up into a million pieces. There he is.

And the mirror. Yeah! The mirror falls. You've been detecting magic the entire time. Now you are out of combat you get back on it. Any magic that was in this mirror starts to fade. The protections have been lost but they were already bastardized. Maybe they can get a new mirror. But for the moment the real tragedy The tragedy of the last bit

I think they're having a sale like a going out of business Beyond I believe me we could replace the mirror. That's not Should we check the rest of the floor for any more mirrors before we turn any more angels heads father bubbles picks up a couple pieces no no my buddy loved this mirror guy I went to seminary with yeah what was his name he's a priest as well. What was his title and name? Father Finicky Wetwhistle. Oh!

Wow! He moved away. He lives in Kassel. We knew him. We knew him. It's all connected. Anyhow, good move, Muscley Man. Thanks. Where should we go next? Now, good move, Muscley Man.

Thanks. Where should we go next? Are there any other mirrors on this floor? You've been here before. No, there's one in the bathroom, but I don't think it's enchanted. Oh, fuck, I wish I had the mirror in the bathroom. It's over the toilet, though, so it's strange. You watch yourself pee.

Eh, Ethel. It's not magical, though. Ethel, it's not magical though. Ethel, the statues, the angels, they're in the corners. Move to the north, let's turn the next. Go, quickly, let us not tarry here longer than we need. Do not run there young man. No running in the halls of the Ethereum. Stop!

Hey, I found the last one. Wait. I turn the head of the angel. Wait. We're coming, we're coming. All right, so, Ethel! He runs so fast! Ethel! Dude, it's not funny. You absolute fucking buffoon!

You will not let you just wipe that off. He will start an encounter and fucking kill you. You fucking aggro fuck! He runs so fast! As you get to the middle there... Slow down there, Charlie. As you get to the middle... Dude, stop. Everything stop.

Ethel did not move anywhere without most of us. All right, well as you get here where I'm pinging on the map, you would stop and notice that although this is not like the other angel statues, there is a five foot wide circular valve. Looks like it's made out of iron perhaps and it depicts four angel faces smiling and looking up to the ceiling do you guys want to cautiously continue to move hey hey father dick yes I want to Hey, Father Dick. Yes? Wanna race to the last angel over there? You son of a bitch, I'm in.

Let's go! Oh, look at me, I'm gonna head start. You guys! Oh my god. Look at us. I feel like a schoolboy again. Stop! Stop! Stop! I win.

Stop! Hey, Suki, did you see I won? Stop! I won the race to the angel statue. You absolutely. Oh my god, I'm so fast. You son of a bitch, I'm in. Oh my god.

Before you win the race, can Suki do a check at the other thing that you said? Can she look at the ceiling or at the angels? Stop running around! She's like a bunch of kids running around a very dangerous building alright come on like climbing on stuff like yeah yeah give me a religion check or occultism yeah can I'll see you a religion oh man that's gonna be a road bad that's gonna be a 25 25 yeah no you don't know the the angel motif is pretty prevalent here throughout it was on the outside of the building obviously the angel statues are very important but you

don't you don't discern anything nothing on the ceiling I look up nothing on the ceiling okay she races towards the angel statue but she trips a little bit on her dress, and then she acts like maybe that didn't happen. Okay. Alright, Ethel's gonna... I've never stopped detecting magic, by the way. Ethel's gonna turn the head of this angel, but he's gonna watch the angels back at the square there, see if anything changes.

You look. How many have you clicked? Three. This will be the third. Three. You see one more down there and you know that there are allegedly four on each. Dick looks at you. Great. I just lost the ability to run because my connection to the internet was severed.

Oh, too bad. That's just dirty. That is so dirty, dude. I choose not to run. That's just dirty. That is so dirty, dude. I choose not to run. I cast a sixth level. No, I'm just kidding. I cast Slow on Father Dan. You rush down there. Should I turn the head?

Yeah. All right, look at me. Part of the adventure now. Yes. Yes, I think I'll stick around for quite some time. Oh, look at that. I did something. Oh.

Did you do something bad? No, but did you hear that? And in fact, when he turns the head of that thing, you all hear this sound, it's metallic, but it just sounds like AHHHHH And it came from the northern portion of the The northern center portion John John, you idiot! Over the direction of where you were looking

at that statue. Now mind you, there are also several doors to other rooms, but you don't see any other dangers as you have now scoured almost every single intersection. Look, come here, huddle up. You too, dick. Yes. Yes. There is up. You too, dick. Yes. Yes.

There is a- You too, dick. Are you ready for that cheese? There is a very- So mean. You are a small-minded fool in a charlatan. You do not fool me. Listen.

That's rude. There is, without a doubt- We're not really huddled, dear. There is confusing misdirection throughout this entire place. You don't have to speak every second. Sorry. I'm new to huddles. You've never huddled. No, no, no.

Ever in your life. Back at the seminary, it was discouraged. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You've never huddled ever in your life. Back at the seminary, it was discouraged. Thou shalt not huddle.

That was Nethis's third commandment. Truly though, there is a major question. Yes. Do we... Do we only need to advance into deeper levels or above? Or must we search every room for what lous may have missed or where lous may be? Every single room in this library could contain knowledge we need to find the Necronomicon. To find Loulz. Must we open every door, or must we move on? Yeah, alright. Suki!

Either way, either way, either way! You are wise beyond all of us. Of course. What do your instincts tell you? Let me center myself. I've been quite thrown off. By what? I said let me center myself. You know what? Let me just talk to Pepsi.

Arasararamatha. Samatha. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying.

I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying.

I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not sure what you're saying. Do you think it's destiny? Nethus does not believe in fate, but I do. Does Nethus? And you? You are the authority on what the god Nethus does

and does not believe. No, I would never make myself the authority on such things. I am but an ant in the eye of that mad god. You say that mad god as if that's not your patron deity. Yes, but I can be objective. He went nuts. Stupid Jesus. He is great and all powerful,'s crazy as well to get me started listen anyway praise Jesus you asked a

question I perhaps have the answer the goal is to suss out this cancer within that is louse and in what he has done however elder therein formed me that you are to bring out Elder Lathine as well To wrap the bodies of any nethysians you find within I can help in that I can aid in that unimportant task However should the body of elder Lathine or perhaps your quarry lie in any of these rooms, you will seem foolish if you don't at least take a peek. Dick is right. I don't know if I ever told any of you this, but I am beholden to Frasma. Are you familiar, Dick?

I have heard about her in passing. Weird, I feel like you would know way more. No, no, no. It's fine. What seminary did you go to? It was the seminary of Nethus. No huddling and no talking about other gods. Those were the two main rules.

If you huddled about other gods, you were immediately expelled. Yes, now shout huddle with no other gods before me. Yes, it is a carnal sin in my order. Well, all that to say is, I agree with you, Father. Yes, you are wise. It's important that we lay those... You really do talk every time you talk to me. This shows that it'll be an extra hour long.

You wanted me. We need, he's right, Atticus, we need to guide those souls to their end place. And we won't be able to do, I'm not even talking to you. Just keep talking, he's going to keep doing it. We need to find Loulz and mine. We promised Elder Lear.

Thea. Thank you, Father. We promised Elder Lear that we would do this for her people. Elder Thea. I'm gonna start opening doors. Go for it, Eris. See ya. Eris, wait.

Wait! Other way. Hold on! Eris! Wait! What are you doing? We were talking about opening doors, and we're not opening doors. If I hear Father Dick Bubbles say one more word, I'm going to dick bubbles my brains out And I don't know what that means, and I don't want to find out. All right, so you walk to one of these four quadrants.

Joe, give me the wide view here of the map. Now that you've uncovered the hallways of the Mysterium, you see that there are four quadrants blacked out on the map, several doors leading in. Is it one large room, several small rooms? What lies within, if anything? And remember that sound you heard when the fourth angel head was moved coming from the direction of that statue that Suki paused at and Ethel hastily ran by What do you do, Eris?

I open the door in front of me I've never opened a door and we'll see you at Vancouver OH OH OH Thank you, Austin! Thank you, Austin! We'll come back! We're going to come back! Austin! We're going to come back!

Austin! It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com. That's JoinTheNaish.com where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you can't find anywhere else. See what everybody's talking about and join the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com. Welcome to a journey into the heart of the Texas Renaissance Festival, the nation's largest and rowdiest celebration of medieval fantasy. But what lurks beneath the facade of tights and turkey legs? Well, we dove deep into the empire to uncover a history marred by mystery and misconduct, murders, assaults, and other crimes that tarnish its legacy.

This isn't just a fairy tale, it's a cautionary tale of power, fantasy, and the consequences that follow when they all collide. Search for Crime Waves Renaissance Texas on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you're listening now.