The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 91 – Circling the Drain

Episode Date: June 8, 2024

The heroes descend to the next level of the Mysterium. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/Rm5-VqhtGIk Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at jointhenaish.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Then these woods, we are prey. The Watchers allow us to live because we follow their rules. You can't see them, but they see everything. No one sees one and survives. From producer M. Night Shyamalan, written for the screen and directed by Ishana Night Shyamalan. Let them see you. What are they doing?

Applause. For you, Mina. The Watchers, now playing. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun

I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun I'm a man who's got a gun What's going on Vancouver! Quick question, how's everyone's professional hockey team doing? Oh yeah! I know your Canucks are golfing

with my Bruins, but at least we've won a Stanley Cup! Do you realize you're the bottom feeders of Canada? You're in the land of hockey and you've never won a Stanley Cup! That's so sad!

Is this really Canada though or is it Northern Seattle? I can't tell. That's not fair, that's not fair. It's Southern, Southern Alaska. That's what we'll call it. Southern Alaska. Deep South. We're in the deep south.

The deep south of Alaska. Where are we gonna get off the floor? Confederate Alaska. For real though, how is everybody doing tonight? Huh? You guys were chanting something for Joe and I don't, I couldn't understand what it was. Joe, Joe Coover. Coover! Joe Coover!

Joe Coover! Joe Coover. Coover! Joe Coover! Joe Coover! So I've been to Canada a lot, but I've never been this far west in Canada. What is going on with the accents out here? It sounds like a combination of French and Cthulian. I went to order an iced coffee this morning. I was like, can I get an iced coffee just black? And he was like, I failed a sanity check and woke up in a pot. He sounded like a great old one. He sounded like Yogg-Sacal. Sorry.

Sorry. You're a very attractive people though, I'll say that. Yeah, that's true. It's a sexy city. That was the most attractive VIP meet and greet. Oh yeah, by far. Gorgeous. Yeah, by far.

Thank you. The whole city feels like a liberal arts college. A lot of hot coeds. A lot of beards, a lot of beards. Guys like their beards. Matthew, even though you hate this country, you'd fit in really well Beardy McGee Why do you hate Canada? I don't hate Canada

Bit okay, it's a bit. He grew that beard in solidarity this Canadian brethren We we got in late. We usually get in early. You got in late. I got in late. Well, Skid's been here for a week and a half. I've been here for a week and a half. Skid might have been smuggling contraband in on the seaplane. No, I didn't. I will in the future, knowing that that's possible, but no. Mr. Vancouver, they call him.

But the rest of us got in like seven or eight o'clock, but that didn't stop us from going out and having a time last night. Yes. We had some drinks, we had some shots, which is like, we never do shots. We never. Whose idea was that?

I actually forgot that we did shots. Which is a symptom of doing shots. Did one of us order the shots or was it? No, no. Whose idea was that? It was Randy's idea. It was Randy's idea. It was Randy the server.

It was her idea. Who is definitely not here tonight, but we did invite her. Who was invited and put on the list, but I guarantee she's not here. So Randy, just shout out. Yeah. Yeah, we kind of called that one. There was a whole list of shots. And so I handed it to Kate when no one was looking.

I was like, pick one. And she was like, I'll do this one with the Jack Daniels and Banana LaCour. It was like, that was you. I was like, wow, that sounds gross. But I said, Randy, give me 17 shots of Jack Banana. And we hacked banana. We ripped him like it was no tomorrow,

an hour later we were at karaoke. Whose idea was that? Karaoke? You were the mastermind the whole last evening, aren't you? I don't know about that. Kate was pretty impressive on the ones and twos. Oh man, she sounded amazing.

You know her go-to song is Avril Lavigne. Yeah, that was my opener. It was really funny because the boys are doing like Bruce Springsteen and then Sydney and I are doing like Michelle Branch, Avril Lavigne, Papa Roach. Papa Roach. TLC.

The age gap was never more apparent than it was. Karaoke. It was like really quiet and respectful when Troy sang Frank Sinatra seven times in a row And Joe spent the first he did it his way Joe's with the first 53 minutes of our hour in the karaoke room looking through song I just yeah the end of the decision paralysis the Joe O'Brien displayed while trying to pick a song and then we're staggering We're there was it wasn't decision paralysis. There was nothing I could sing Joe There was, it wasn't decision paralysis. There was nothing I could sing.

Joe, what did you eventually choose to rock out to? Oh, I rocked out to a little Simon and Garfunkel. Yeah. Yeah, old school. There's some old school people in this audience. Nope. Yeah. Yeah.

Exactly. He brought down the mood. Also, I would say Kate and I sang the most Canadian song. We sang an Avril Lavigne song. Yeah. That's true. She's from Canada. We opened with that.

Yeah. The moment where everything clicked for me was when Skid started role playing with Sydney when she was playing Dua Lipa. Singing Dua Lipa. Threatening not to show up for the custody hearing. Not to pay alimony. Don't show up.

All right, I won't show up for the custody hearing. Not to pay alimony. Don't show up. All right, I won't show up for the custody hearing. Skid also sang Thriller, and they didn't put up the Vincent Price poem, so he just made up his own. Yeah. Oh my God. There's a lot of like, We can't repeat a lot of it.

It's so scary. There's a lot of monsters. It's like a lot. Very Adlib Thriller. It rhymed. It did rhyme. This city's real fun, huh? Yeah, it's good times. Good times. real fun huh? It's a good time.

Good times. I've got a 6 a.m. flight though so it's gonna be a 20 minute show. I'm sorry we messed up the Canadian prices. The tickets were $700 each. Got another show in a couple days. Thank you ma'am. We last year I said I want to come to Canada and we couldn't make it happen, so I gave an ultimatum to our manager. I was like, yo, we've got to make this happen in 2024. And I am so glad that we did this. The nation is so strong in Canada. Toronto, Toronto and their shitty hockey team was great.

You guys and your one terrible team are great. And as I'm making the list for stops next year, I was like, do we give Canada a year off and then come back in 2026? I had to spend no less than 30 seconds going past the border police. I don't know if I have that kind of time We heard a lot of shit about Canadian customs. I know they were a lot of horror stories We just have really trusting faces at both times You know and here they were just like a crossbow into this enjoy yourself I feel like we tell them why we're here and they're like, all right.

Yeah, just, well we just kind of lie. They're like, what is this work you're doing? I'm like, I have this little podcast. I'm like, get out of here. This time was hilarious. Troy was like, I do a podcast. They were like, we don't fucking care about that. Go on in.

And I start explaining what the podcast was. I don't want to hear about your podcast. And then Matthew. Do you have a bunch of comedians? Do you have a bunch of people a day I have to hear about their podcast? And then Matthew was behind Troy and they were like, why are you here? And Matthew was like, oh, I'm with him. We have a pot. And they were like, don't care. Go through. And then one after another, Kate went up and Kate was like, I'm with. They were like, yep.

And then I went up there like, are you with this whole group? And I was like, yes. And they're like, go ahead. And I was like, wow, you guys really hate podcasts? Get out of my sight, you podcasters. Yeah. It'd be fun if they detained one of us and we just hear in the're like, go ahead. I was like, wow, you guys really hate podcasts? Get out of my sight, you podcasters. It'd be fun if they detained one of us and we just hear in the background, like, have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons? Yeah. He's going to be there a while. Do you know improv comedy? Fuck.

So we get there, and then we see old cheesehead McGee over there, and he's sitting there with 19 bags, just looking like a dope. And then we get all the way to the hotel. Do you want to take it from here, you big dummy? What happened?

What happened? He's got so many bags. I don't think I know this. I mean, it is astounding the way your brain works. How do you want to tell this story? It just basically doesn't work sometimes. Well, I guess it looks like he's moving into Canada. I don't know where to start, but I'll just...

You look like you were moving into Canada. You had so many bags, and yet you still made a big mistake. Yeah, I had so many bags. I had so many things for a variety of reasons. But one of my decisions at the last minute was, you know what, I'm going to take take this to city trip to get in a little Nintendo switch time and So on my flight played a little rogue legacy 2. I don't know if anybody was watching the stream

but I was playing a little of that and then I proceeded to Tuck it comfortably on the side of my seat and then get up and walk off the phone My children play that switch on the side of my seat and then get up and walk off the flight. Oh no! Oh I didn't know. I didn't know that. Joe. What the fuck? My children played that switch. Oh no.

Where are my children? Play with their toys. Where are my children? Play with their toys. And so I realized about six minutes before these knuckleheads walked out of customs. So I'm sitting there waiting for them and I'm just like. I just snap up in my seat. My flight had landed an hour and a half before. I'm just like... I just snap up in my seat.

My flight had landed an hour and a half before. I'm like rummaging. I go in my bag. I'm like, I know it's not in there and it's not in there. I'm like, God damn it. So I'm too embarrassed to even say anything to any of you. None of you know this. Yeah, I did first on my market.

He didn't tell us. I have not heard this story. I didn't tell any of them. I didn't tell any of them this. And then we get in a Lyft to head into downtown, and I'm just frantically Googling, what do you do on United Airlines if you leave your Nintendo Switch in your seat? And it's just like, you can place a ticket on Lost and Found.

I'm like, that definitely works. So I go into their website and I place a Lost and Found, and it's like, what did you lose? And it's like a list of items. It's not like just put in anything you want. It's like a list of items. And I put in Nintendo and it came up, Nintendo. I was like, oh, oh. And then it was like, what kind of Nintendo? It was like

Switch. A GameCube. Yeah, GameCube. The Game64. I was like, this is kind of impressive. The Nintendo 64 is on the list? Yeah. I was like, I might find this thing. I lost the Nintendo 64 with a 70 inch TV. I was sitting there. I was trying to play my game, it's like Super Mario. So I put in all the info and then Troy and I meet up at this bar at this pub near the hotel and suddenly my phone rings with a decidedly Vancouverian number and I'm just like and I say hello the music is blasting in there and I'm just like hold on it's so loud in here And I run out of the bar try has no idea what's going on like I hope he's okay

I can't come back in he's like you're right. It's like took a call and stormed out of the bar I was like they found my Nintendo switch So My first order of the business today this morning was to go back to the Vancouver airport to the international arrival section and have a woman bring me my Nintendo Switch. And then before she walked away, I said, wait a minute, I got to make sure all the games are in here. She was like, what are you in town for?

Well, I do this podcast. She ran. I don't Well, I do this podcast. And she ran. I don't want to hear about your... Yeah, so anyway, it was great. And I got it back and I'm very excited. Honest, polite Canadians, I'll tell you. It'd be funny if you were looking at the games, you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where's

Animal Crossing? And she's like, you son of a bitch. There you go. That's amazing. Sydney, we make fun of you every single time and I thought I'd run out of material, but sure enough, I didn't. What did I do this time? We're at the Centurion Lounge in Seattle yesterday

and we're waiting in line, Matthew and Kate, myself and you, and you mentioned that in less than 24 hours before You purchased the rest of your flights Sydney up until two days ago. Just bought a one-way ticket to Vancouver Two days ago. We have a show in st. Paul in two days She texted me furiously the night before we were leaving we were talking about packing and and she was just like, oh my God, did you buy your flight from Vancouver to St. Paul? And I was like, yeah.

She's like, I didn't buy my flight. And then I bought that flight and I was like, phew, nailed it. Wait, did you buy your flight back home to New York? Kate was like, yes. And I was like, fuck. So I did that and I will say, at the same time that was happening, I was streaming on! And I was like, fuck! So I did that, and I will say, at the same time that was happening,

I was streaming on Twitch. I was playing, I was playing Manor Lords, which is what I was doing to unwind after doing a good job packing, as a little congratulations to myself. And on stream. After a hard day of booking flights. On stream.

Some wonderful members of the niche were like, did you remember to pack your dice? And I was like, fuck! I don't understand. I don't understand how you intend to manage the lives of all these medieval German peasants, when you clearly can't even manage your own. It's so true, and they all died.

They all died. All my peasants died. Not really surprised. Yeah. Not really that shocked. When the morning I was leaving, I was telling my daughter, I was like,

her daddy's gonna get on an airplane now to go to work. And my daughter loves Sydney. So she's like, with Sydney? It was very cute. I said, yes. If Sydney remembers her passport. Which is hilarious because I'm sure your daughter

just nodded understandingly. She was like, Sydney. Oh, that's Sydney. We have a group text between the five of us and that fucking thing was blasting this morning, which is my nightmare. I just want to break my phone in half. There are six of us. You guys like to want to go to the park?

Let's go to the park. Oh, I can't wait to hold your hand in the park. I was like, I hope the park burns down. It was just show up to you missed out. It was really nice. It was awesome. I definitely didn't miss out. What did you guys do? Did you just romp through like Dorothy and the we went to a brewery like you love? Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah, I went to a brewery to buy myself. You know, we went to Stanley Park. It was awesome. Walked around a lot. Yeah, I went to a brewery too. By myself. You know, we went to Stanley Park.

It was awesome. Walked around a lot. Yeah. Bunch of Stanley Park fans. It's a big park. It's a great park. It's a fucking world-class park. It's awesome.

We have parks in New York. And we were, we were, we got to the brewery, we sit down and Kate looks up and he goes, oh Joe, look, they have board games here. I've never seen a person get out of a chair faster. Joe leaves them. I was like, what's the collection? We look over, he's like rummaging,

it's like he's throwing things up in the air, and then he comes back and he has Jenga. And then we. And he says, but he comes back and says, oh look, they have Dread. And then we retreated the staff and other customers at that restaurant to a game of dread. We played a full improv game of dread set in...

Like the waitress was coming over? Yeah. Oh, tell the setting. Set in Jurassic Park. Yeah. Excuse me. Cretaceous getaway? Cretaceous getaway.

Right, Cretaceous getaway to avoid the obvious copyright violations. No, like the waitress would come over and we'd be role playing in the middle of it and I'd be yelling at Matthew being like, I don't give a fuck about your improv career and your writing career, stop making dumb jokes at me. You're my intern. And we'd be like, we have to contain the dinosaurs. She'd be like walking up to, are you finished with that?

And you're like, there's gotta be another flair in the trunk. I mean, maybe we must have. Let's grab her pancreas and throw it at them. As we pull a Jenga tile, she definitely was like, what the fuck are they talking about? What are they doing? It was a lot of fun. It was great. Can't take you guys anywhere.

Well, I think it's safe to say that we didn't get enough time here, so we will try to come back. Yeah! Too short of a trip in Vancouver, for sure. By come back, I mean go to Calgary instead. Whoa. You think Stanley Park is nice? How about Lake Louise?

It's gorgeous. Mixed reviews. I'm getting mixed signals from the audience. A lot of mixed reviews on Calgary. Kind of given like a... Or maybe Edmonton? Maybe we go to Edmonton. I hear Edmonton is nice this time of year.

Wait, wait, wait. What about... There's professional sports to watch. What about Victoria? Victoria. There's your answer. Unanimously loved. Everyone loves Victoria. We gotta go to Victoria. There's your answer. Unanimously loved. Everyone loves Victoria. We gotta go to Victoria. Victoria. Victoria. Well, we'll see what happens. Maybe we won't come back at all. But we're gonna have some fun tonight. I can feel it. I can feel it in my... Feel it in the air. Feel it in my plums. I feel it out of my plums.

I just... That's where I know it's gonna be a good show when in my plums. I feel it out of my plums. I just, that's where I know it's gonna be a good show when I get a little tingle down there and I can feel it right now. So I have to ask you as I ask everyone. You guys wanna play some pretend? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We'll do it. Yes, please. We'll take it to the recap. Joe and Sydney aren't gonna pay please. We'll take it to the recap.

Joe and Sydney aren't going to pay attention. Take it to the cap. That's okay. That's okay. It's not for them. It's mainly for you. And the wives and husbands of fans. What's behind the Dairy Farmers of Canada Blue Cow logo on your favourite dairy products?

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For a limited time only, a participating McDonald's restaurants in Canada. Past couple of shows this year I've been focusing not on the hero's journey, but on the journey of our enemy. A guy by the name of Hazerton Lowles. You got that right. The fourth is what that young lady said. Hazerton, unlike that commenter, is a man. A man who was born into privilege. His father was a count, a position he would later inherit, and his mother was a great

student of eldritch knowledge, a hobby that he would also inherit. Nice light change, Hollywood theater. That's nice. But he would also inherit a slight change, Hollywood theater. It's nice. It really threw me off. I wasn't ready. It was really dramatic. I like it. I quite like it. You're good here. Fuck Calgary. As Hazardton got older, he didn't want to just preside over his county. He wanted to be a respected scholar,

but the problem was he wasn't very good at it. So after a string of public failures, he decides to embark on a quest for forbidden knowledge, which we now know entails opening a portal to another world that would allow an alien god called Xamandor to pass through. At some point during his research he becomes infected. I put up hand quotes for the audio listeners. Because he didn't really become infected? He became infected. That's what you were told. He was infected by this unknowable alien entity.

And he embarked on a journey across both space and time to find a secret tome known as the Necronomicon, which will provide him with the knowledge he needs to complete this portal ritual. Our heroes have tracked this madman all the way to the nation of Kadira where apparently Lyle's and his alchemist associate, Mayakne and Munn bribed their way into a library called the Mysterium where the Necronomicon is being held and in an attempt to delve deeper into places, they were not given permission to go. They triggered the protective wards of the library,

which for some reason or other, did not react in the way they were supposed to. Instead of summoning these angelic beings of pure law, they summoned these hounds of Tyndalos from another dimension. and rumor has it other things in the library have changed as well, not the least of which being the haunts and ghosts that have always walked the halls of this ancient building. They have been altered as well.

Our heroes made a deal with the current leader of the guardian of the library to gain Access only if they retrieve the former leader who went in after louse and never returned can't help yourself Can you you can't? Can see his stupid shitty profile Look at me we were looking at each other you You would not believe Look at me. We're looking at each other. Not you. You would not believe what a mess she is. What? Did you just throw me under the bus?

What a mess. What does she think we're playing Legacy of the Ancients right now? What did she do? Tell me what she did. She opened the completely wrong VTT and then looked at me like, why does he still have us on this old map? Because she's not on Foundry. Do you recall? We made a big deal. What? About changing our game location to a completely different website.

Why can't you just put it up there? A real friend would have whispered in my ear and not tell the GM. He called it out. I had to tell the people. What map were you on? She was at the top of Munn's house. She's like, what's going on here? He called it out. I had to tell the people. What map were you on? He's gonna kill Pepsi. She was at the top of Munn's house. She's like, what's going on here? That was like eight shows ago.

Eight live shows ago. That's why I was so fucking confused. She was sitting across from me in Comfort Plus yesterday on Delta and I ordered a Chardonnay and she goes, are those free? Are those free? Like yes, drinks are free in Comfort Plus. You've flown Comfort Plus dozens of times and cautiously did not order a free drink.

I'm crying. It's never too late to find out. Actually, I have to just go away from this recap. I ordered a white wine. I ordered a white wine and the guy's like, here you go. Gave me an ice cold red wine. I started to pour it in the glass and I was like, you think it's like blood or something. What are you expecting? White wine. This wine's been cursed. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. I, this is, he's like,

oh I must have slipped in there. And Sydney goes, wait are those free? Are those for free? I'm like, yeah you get free drinks at Comfort Plush. She goes, I'll just take his red wine. And she takes the leftovers and still. I'll drink it, I'll drink it. And the guy looks at her, doesn't know

that we know each other. He's like, he's already handled this drink. I was like, I was like, oh... I think that gentleman's red wine. You already opened that one. It's such a waste. I'll just have it. I don't want to cause any trouble. The steward looked at me and he was like, what? And then Troy quickly was like, I know her, I know her.

She's normal. She acts like this all the time. Anyway, that was our red wine, white wine story. Yeah, out of all the shows, I hope my mom watches this one. She's so proud of me. So the library's all fucked up. Lyle's went in, he went to places he wasn't supposed to, and it triggered these wards that like changed things but also like altered the the ghosts that roamed about the halls in communion with

the guardians of this place. Laos went in he never returned. The elder, the current leader says I'll let you go in but you've got to retrieve the leader who went in with a bunch of people after Layle's who also never returned. This is the closest our heroes have come to Lyle's since the beginning of this adventure in 2018. Yeah, I don't think we could... We might be in the same building as him or we might be in a totally different dimension. Yeah, no idea. Last month, I'm almost done, you gained entry and were immediately attacked by these hounds after turning the heads of one of these

four angel statues on each floor which you were told if you will turn all four heads it will open up a passageway to the next floor and to the next floor and to the next floor. Well when you turn the first head, these hounds appeared, you dispatched with them, you destroyed this guardian mirror from which they spawned. You then turned the three remaining angel heads and you heard a noise, this metallic grinding sound coming from the direction of a statue you saw on the northern part of this first floor with like three fucking angels looking weird. But you haven't really explored the rest of the first floor. And so concerned that you may be missing important information in these unexplored rooms

and at the urging of your new companion, a local priest with knowledge of the Mysterium and its history. A man by the name of Father Richard Bubbles. We ended last session by deciding, you know what? Let's look in the rest of these rooms. Stop! Let's take it to the map.

Take it to the map. Take it to the map. You know, bottle caps have been a bit of a hot topic in Glass Cannon Nation as of late. So today, I'm resetting all bottle caps to zero. What? What? Wait. And if you want to earn them, be a hero. Oh no. Wait. Did we have bottle caps? I a hero. Oh no! Wait.

Did we have bottle caps? I have one. Oh. Not anymore. You got zero caps. Wow. What is this, anti-Christmas? I'll tell you what. You're like a real Marcus Aurelius right now.

Friend of the show. Geek Dad gave me some sweet homemade caps. Can I have one? Nope. Okay. Because you are not a hero. And you pay for your wine. That was the most hurtful. That was the most hurtful ball. Are you on the map? Nope. You're not doing nothing. Come on. Who needs a map? Take the map. See the map. There it goes. Ooh. What the hell's all that shit?

There we go. All right, so we have this whole floor here, and there's something juistacular to the north, but before we go there, Eris wants to open this jawn. Oh! Not that jawn! That scared the shit out of me. I didn't open that. When I get that feeling, I'm gonna say she will.

Is that what Aris did? Did she just open? No, she didn't open that. Did she just open his shirt? Suki, I would never open that. Close the door, it's drafty in here. Tsk. There he is. Father Bubbles. There are, there are four large sections of this first floor.

The university level, as it said, are a little placard when you came in after the guards were like, all right, get in there. And then locked you in. Best of luck! Good luck with the ghosts. You cannot leave here until you get to the bottom floor of the soul of the Mysterium and trigger a bell that will actually reset all these wards. They will not even let you out until you do that. However, there are four large quadrants of this map that have been unexplored.

Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

They can see everything! That scared me! You just scared me! I'm wearing clothes of the finest silk! Ha ha. My, my nipples! They're exposed! My nipples are exposed. It is cold in here, isn't it? Did it break?

No. My God. It's Jamin Dora. You know what? You know what? Can you just hold this for the rest of the show? I don't know, I think it's the ghosts. The ghosts of the Vancouver Canucks. Who can hear their wails. That team, that waltz. Sorry, that was very unprofessional.

It's the Sedin twinsins back from the grave. The company that made this screen went bankrupt. No less than a week after they gave it to us. Free. Tonight's the anniversary. Their ghost is haunting this screen. Shhh. Shhh, have something to drink. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! It's okay. What is wrong with you? It's all right. What's that? I think we're still jet lagged. Oh, no! Oh, no!

What are you saying? I don't think he's... Jesus! Shh! They can't hurt you. They don't know what we've been through. What are we doing? Opening the door? They can't hurt you. They don't know what we've been through. What are we doing? Opening the door?

Ah, the door, yes. Who's opening it? I opened it. Eris, I think you have to move your piece. You're not at the door. Let's be on top of our pawns. I think you have to move your piece. You're not at the door.

There's a little thing I like to call white collar fudging when it comes to the way pawns move on a map. You wanna open a door, get your pawn to that door, Aris. Ask your boyfriend to move. I've got on top of her pawn. We could share a space. Are you guys like holding each other? Chakong!

You open the door. You! And you see a room. Whoa. Yeah. What is this? Oh shit. Whoa! Oh wow. A rather large room. That is a large ass room.

Sure is. There is a raised lectern standing some three feet above a flagged floor. Looks like maybe a classroom or some sort of lecture hall. There's a variety of rugs and cushions laying about. Eris, you see this in Atticus. If you're like looking past them into the room, there's a lot of like obj dart on the wall,

some sigils, some signals that all seem to revolve around the theme of conjuration magic. Oh, very interesting. Yes, this is after all the university level. Perhaps this is an instructional lecture hall of sorts, focusing on conjuration magic, perhaps. I am detecting magic at all times. Is there any current magic emanating from this room how far does that go who knows nobody knows that I

can't 3060 can you say 60 why don't you just look it up man it's like we do all this stuff pre-show and then everything like reboots itself while we're waiting and then it's like a really good emanation did you see 30 feet 30 feet that's 30 foot emanation all right unless you heighten it 30 feet you are it says 30 foot you are detecting some magic coming from sort of the eastern front portion of the room. Just like a faint signal of magic. Okay, I'm gonna focus in on it. Hold it a minute, Harrys.

There is something there. That side of the room. And he's focusing through the wall on this magical emanation I Get to upon focusing on it I get to learn the rank of The magical effect if it's something that has a rank or something you wish to divulge the rank of fourth level Okay Also also are there multiple sources or just one source? A lot of questions.

This is higher level detect magic, that's why. Multiple sources. Which is the highest, the fourth level rank? Stop wasting the show doing this. This is how you play, Chuy. Yeah, what was it? Sure. Okay. That's the sense you get. Sure.

There is something emanating magic. I don't know if it is an item perhaps left behind or it could be an active spell or protection. Be careful. It may be trapped. Could be a book. All right. Could I do a check to see if it's a trap? Yeah, since it's a trap?

What's your perception I'll look as well I'd like to also We're by the door my perception is 18 plus 18 what's your Plus 18 okay, and you guys are all experts, but Ethel is a master and plus 20 for a fan You don't detect any traps No, none of the three of you detect any proceed with caution. I detect no traps go all right Father bubbles. Yes Would you touch my hand and bless me before I go in to the room of course my son It's religious he grabs grabs your hand, he's like, oh. Oh. Your hands.

They've touched wood. Recently and repeatedly. You can- Vigorously. You can tell how vigorously I touched wood? Yes! You can see in the calluses. Looks very used.

You know, Nethas's son was a carpenter. I didn't know that. Yes, it is well known. His father shunned him. Eriswaxon to the room. Oh, Eriswaxon. I'm not finished telling my nephew's son's story. His son was a carpenter and his father shunned him for he hated magic. So he disowned him. It's very different from Christianity.

Suki has a plus 18 expert perception. Can I check father dick bubbles for traps? Yes Thirst trap. He is definitely a thirst trap. Be not afraid I bless all of you. Let us. Is that mechanical? Yes, bless. It's not mechanical. You get no actual benefits. So then the answer was no to the is it mechanical.

Nethus is definitely here, I can feel him. I can feel him in your calloused hands and in your beautiful eyes. Ethel, do you see anything in the corner of the room? What do I see in the corner of the room? Nothing. There is something there. There's nothing there. Which corner? The southwestern corner? Southeast.

Southeast corner of the room. I'll slowly approach the southeastern corner. Egg has soul sight. Oh! Life sense in a range of 30 feet. Hold off. You sense no life. Okay.

You look in the corner, nothing there. There are shelves of books and things that denote conjuration magic, pictures of the symbol of the school denote conjuration magic, pictures of the symbol of the school of conjuration magic. But you detect no life and you look in the area where you're detecting that and it seems to be beyond the wall. Yeah, time is to get into the other room.

Ah. Perhaps it's in the other room. Let's see if there's anything interesting in here. Father Bubbles, would you like to examine the lectern? What's that now? Would you like to examine the lectern? Lectern, that word. What is that?

What's on the dais? Ah, yes, of course. What is a dais? The raised stage thing. Father, I... Ah, the raised stage thing, Yes, let me go check. Father, I... You are a priest of this place. Yes, but we call it different. We call things differently in the Church of Nethus.

What do you call it? This is the raised thing and this is the podi. Ah, I feel like I'm giving a sermon. From the podi. Yes, from the podi.i up down the raised thingy this is nice I could give you a lecture just roll it. Okay. That is a 24. Yeah. 3032 for Ethel. You guys start digging around here. Really nothing of import. It looks like it's been used in the past couple of months but nothing of import in this room. All right. So you're... It was a classroom. Is this a door over here? Is that a door?

Yes. Outside in the hallway is a door to get into the right portion of this section. Perhaps that's where the magic was coming from. Quickly! Let us investigate. Let's investigate. Let's go. Coming.

After you, Ethel. Sorry, I tried to walk through a wall. I love moving like this. I know. It's like actually. Wait for me. Don't go too fast. Suki, are you coming?

I'm coming, I'm coming. Catch up. Where's your snake? Father, wait. Here, hold my hand. Oh, okay. It's alright. Get away from me!

Priest! You open the door. And you see a little study room. It's like a little cubicle. There's a single sturdy but worn looking desk and a small chair. I mean you know that like the Nathissians, the guardians of the Mysterium, go and like allow people on this level. Maybe they like retrieve books for people from other sections

and let them study in here under the guard like a private space to study I ransacked the desks this quills this ink this paper a couple playboys That's all Atticus checks to make sure father bubbles isn't looking at he tucks those in his bag What's that now and then he and then he winks to Eris? Atticus is gonna cautiously step into the room and continue detecting magic to see if it's beyond this southern wall. Yes, it does seem to be beyond that southern wall. Ethel, there is something back there. You don't see any way of getting in.

Can I do a close examination of the wall, see if I can find any secret door? Yeah. Yeah, I'll do a perception as well, if there's a secret door 25 something within the desk 27 bad rolls I don't trust their abilities, and I'm going to check as well everyone look there must be something I'm thinking the door might be in the room that we were already in yes

must be something. I'm thinking the door might be in the room that we were already in. Yes, perhaps. Suki got a 32, and what she's looking for is a way to get in if she turned herself into, let's say, a rat or a fly. So you, Suki, actually, right where you're standing, you're looking and you're thinking,

maybe it's just a small hole that I need to crawl through or something. And as you do that, you see a little seam on the wall right where you're standing at and you press it and it opens up into a little secret. Yeah! There we go. Nice. Suki and Father Bubbles getting it done. Local Rebound, Local Rebound everyone. Suki's trying to lean casually on the wall talking to Father Bubbles and she's like, I don't know, I've lived such a long life, you know?

I've been with so many. And then she just accidentally opens the door. Ah! Oh. Son of a gun. The secrets of this place. I tell you, we have much to learn here in this Mysterium. I'm just glad we'll all to learn here in this Mysterium.

I'm just glad we'll all live to tell the tale. What is it, Suki? What's inside? I don't know, it's a small cubby of sorts. It's a tiny little room, and the door was hidden in the wall. Judge not a room by its size! That is the first trial of Nethus.

Uh, what's in this room? There's a small chamber. Ignoring you, what's in the room? It's like a little small storage chamber. You see some spell books. You see an alchemist lab, like, sticking out of a crate, Aldo. There's, like, holy water. There's, like, material to create wands a large cauldron some

bone scroll cases ink quills tablets Probably pretty valuable And if you keep detecting magic you see one of these or two of these bone scroll cases are like Homing in on those. Let's go Aldo. Atticus will grab all those scroll cases. Okay, you see two scrolls.

Atticus, there seems to be a lot of potions in here as well. I mean Aldo, I'm looking right at you. Yeah, that's me. Can I do an alchemical lore check? Absolutely. There we go, that's a 36. Nice.

Yeah, I mean the lab is pretty obvious, but you see the vials are probably holy water. They don't have any alchemical properties. This is holy water. Useless from where I come from. It has some potency here in your world. Do you want them? I love these. I'd love to have a lot of these. And I put them in my thrower's bandolier. Oh.

Nice. I'll take these. The holy water? The holy water, thank you. Take all the holy water you can make it do you want to try and determine what these yeah he wants to try to identify the rank for scroll that was emanating the rank for John okay do you have the DC off the top of your head no not off the top of my head, but I'm sure it's in the 22 range.

Yeah, I've got it. I was just stalling to see if you knew. Okay, I'll roll Arcana. Okay. That is a 26. Yep. It is, one is a scroll of removed disease. Ooh.

And I lied, I said there were only two scrolls. There's actually three scrolls in addition to, excuse me, there's two scrolls of removed disease and three scrolls of fourth level restoration. Oh wow. Oh that's a terrible sign. That's terrible. We leave the Mysterium immediately.

Give me one of those, please. Please, can I have one of those? Of course. Thank you, and she feeds it to Egg. So you're taking one hour. I mean, it'll take him a while to digest it, yeah. We have some time. Perhaps we should chat.

What's that you did there? You gave it to your doll. Yeah. And your doll is now eating the scroll. Yeah, you're asking me that like it's weird. It is strange You're well, you know, I think your god is strange. No, no father. It's okay. The doll eats a lot of things Why is that weird why are you all looking at me funny? Why are you all avoiding my gaze? Suki gives Ethel absolute daggers, stares daggers into Ethel and then huffs out of the room. Excuse me. Excuse me.

Suki. Excuse me. Why are you weird? Pardon me. Let her go. Excuse me. Father, you understand me, don't you? Yes. Suki excuse me Let her go excuse me Father you understand me. Don't you? Yes? I think you understand me most of all I follow Suki Suki storms all the way back to be Suki way to Pepsi because I left him father in the other room

I think you have something on your so much going on. What's that? You have something on your face. There's so much going on. What's that? You have something on your face. You might as well... I put rouge on my face before I came. I wanted to make a good impression. And Ethel just brushes a hair off the side of his forehead. Oh my god. Stooky turns around to Eris.

What? Hey! Alright! I saw that you're like a little frustrated right now. Are you okay? Am I acting frustrated? I don't know. I mean you started talking about some creepy stuff a couple days ago about your past and now you know we bring up something kind of weird and now. I just want to let you know if you're open to it seems like you need to Father bubbles Private girl time conversation Let's move a little farther down the hallway so we can be in private. I can tell that you're upset listen And the Church of Nethus we have this thing called dual confession

We go into a room together we we close the door. Pepsi. We just kind of see what happens. I shut the door. I shut the door. No. Hold on. No. Well, no.

I can't get out with my pawn, he shut the door. This is a safe space. He locked the door on the map. Here, a safe space. He locked the door on the back. Oh my god. Here, meet me on the Poti. Oh my god. The Poti. Okay, listen, I was just trying to say.

What? If you need to let out some frustration, Ethel and I, we're, we're looking for maybe someone to join us. You don't need to say anything right now. You don't need to say anything right now. I'm gonna walk away. I'm gonna walk away.

She tries to open the door and she can't. You don't need to say anything right now. You need an answer. Just think about it. No, no, no. You should be free to feel however you feel. I'm not judging you, I was simply surprised. You know, she looks at Father Dick Bubbles. Hello. What are you guys talking about?

I'll have to, I'll have to think on it. It's been, it's been a long time. And I was trapped on that island for a while and it's been a long time. And was trapped on that island for a while and it's been a long time and then I had Pepsi and you know when the kids are around and it's just been a long time and Well, we could always try it in the dream first. What like slowly? You know what I'm gonna. I'm gonna. You know what but let's go

Let's go. That's not talk. Okay, we gotta go. Don't tell Ethel I asked you. Father Bubbles puts his arms on both of you. I don't know what's going on, but I'm glad you worked it out. Thank you so much, Dick. Hey, Ethel. Hey, Father Bubbles.

See ya. Hey, everybody. Hey, Father Bubbles. Hey. Wait. Yes, my son. My calloused son. Everyone's just moving around. Why is Pepsi, who is moving Pepsi? The county has really opened up this game for us.

We should, what do you think, Ethel gets embarrassed and runs away from Father Bubbles. Atticus! Atticus, you seem to be the leader of this crew and they are out of control. This is a big mess. Do we take the stairs or do we keep looking in these rooms? Perhaps we would be able to find more magical items

if we looked in the rooms. Atticus, what do you think? Yes. You do notice when you look up towards the north here that the statue, something seems different about it. There was a statue of like multiple angels looking up in ecstasy, something seems different about it. There was a statue of multiple angels looking up in ecstasy. Something's changed about it.

As Ethel marches towards it, you notice that the mouths of all the angels have opened up. Perhaps that was the sound, that metallic grating sound. Oh. And they areating sound. Oh. And they are waist high. Oh, come on. The mouse?

Come on. Come on, man. Just read what's written in there. Don't fucking elaborate your throne. Spies those words. Troy. Three angels are waist high like this. No, they're not.

I know. What's going on there? Unusual to see statues on their knees like this. Did not say they were on their knees. What's going on up there? It's a little inappropriate. Should we come up or is it? No, no, no, no, it's a little inappropriate. Let's look in this door.

I open this door. You open this door, it's just a larger study hall. And if you were to look at the ones on the other side as well, all just like little study hall cubicles, ink, quills, paper. No other magic. No other magic. No other, nothing of import.

Alright, let's check out the door on the door of the North. Jochi de Nidh! Yeah! The deer to the Nidh. You look in here, it seems to be another one of these classrooms. The decorations in here all revolve around illusion magic. Eris and Atticus would notice. Oh yes! It's all purple. I didn't ask you this about the other room but these like pentagon structures that are scattered throughout the room are those like seats? The pentagon? They're five sided.

Purple things. Oh those, yeah, those are like little umbrellas. Cushiony things. Beach umbrellas? Yeah, they're beach umbrellas. They're poofs, they're floor poofs. There's nine beach umbrellas in this room. Weird room.

Creepy. All right, just walking in, a cursory glance with detect magic. See if there's any magic emanating from any of these illusions. Be careful what you see, Ethel, or what you hear. There could be lingering magics here. Of illusion. You enter the room, you begin walking near the raisedup thing in the podi You start looking around and and and at that excuse me Atticus you start to detect magic you detect like a little residual signature No, an arcane mark

lingering in the air An air some of the arcane mark someone was here and wanted to leave us, wanted to leave some note of their presence. They left their calling card. Yeah, can I do an arcana to see maybe how old it is? Sure. Okay. That is a 42. And are you a master in arcana? Fuck yeah dude. Obviously. Okay. You are speaking of Atticus Grimm. You... The renowned illusionist. You're looking and you get a real weird feeling in the room. Like the books just look like books on illusion magic.

Simple books, old books, new books, whatever. But as you're looking and trying to determine the source of this residual magic, you see some of the books start to move and they all just like start flying off the shelves and they all like, fwoom, fwoom, fwoom, fwoom, fwoom, fwoom, fwoom, fwoom, just like start flying off the shelves and they open up and the words start flying off the page and coming and everyone in the room roll for initiative. Oh no! What?

Roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, Well, we found our first haunt. Here's what I'll tell you. Right. With that successful roll before this was triggered, you get the sense that these words that are starting to fly at all of you in the room are confined to a certain number of books in here.

If you could figure out where those books are, you might be able to shut this down, destroy the books or whatever you want to do, try to counteract the books. Otherwise these words are like starting to fly directly at several of you. Interesting. What did you roll Aldo? Twenty... Twenty-five. Twenty-five for Aldo. Atticus. Twenty-nine.

Twenty-nine for Atticus. Not bad. Eris? 24. Okay. Suke? 22. Okay. And Athel? 32. Oh yeah. Show off. Alright, so I said Sukey was 222. What a silly initiative. That wasn't right. That would have had you going first. That never happens. Fucking dope. Ethel, it's your turn. The words are just like starting to fly towards you. And Atticus will share what he's learned.

Are any of the words readable when they're flying toward me? No. No. Alright, so I'm trying to figure out what books the words are flying from. Yes. The source of these, the source of the words are just a few of the books. Identify which ones they are

and destroy them quickly. I'm going to give you even more information, because you rolled really well for what just happened. Wait. You know that like, you have a couple options here. Find where the books are and try and destroy them perhaps those trained in arcana or occultism among you could like recite opposed doctrines to try and yeah cool that's what I'm talking about or you know maybe even thievery to like try and disrupt whatever this haunting energy is that's coming from the books.

So you've got a couple options. Yeah, so he'll be like, he'll call it out almost like a like, he's suddenly put in this position, because this is an illusion magic room to almost be like a like a field general on this thing. And he turned like whips his head around toward Ethel and he's like, Ethel, find the books that hold the sources and destroy them. Eris, counter them with your magics. You too Aldo. You can find what's the heart of the words

and counter them with similar components. What with these? I've got bombs. Counter them with bombs. You can do it. I don't think you know what I do. The formula you use, you can use it to counteract the magics. And should I send...

You should get out of the room. You're useless here. You will only be injured. You're probably right. What about Pepsi? Pepsi can stay. Alright. I need... I need Troy to have a target. Can I do a seek action to determine where the words where the words are flying short again? Try it? All right

Natural one oh no Dear cool start no you don't know I'm just blinded by all the words. I don't think Ethel can read. I can read. I've never been attacked by words before. I don't think we've ever seen Ethel read. Has anyone actually seen Ethel read?

I don't even think I've seen him with a book. Okay. You're about to. You're all being very rude. This is a 30. See, my second action. You do it again to say the first time, no idea. Then you really hone in to look and you do see one of the books.

It seems like it's coming off the pages of one of these books. Okay. It says, think about the time that your ex-wife was throwing her words at you. Oh. Now go find the book. Ethel spends his third action

to stop and contemplate his life. No, come on. Oh no. No, I'm kidding. I will charge the book. Okay, and that's your third action, right? Yep. All right, so you move in the direction of said book.

Unfortunately, it is now the book's turn. Oh dear. And a barrage of words flies at four of you. So first one is going to come right directly at you, Ethel. And that is going to be a 40 to hit. Oh, dear. Oh, no. That is a hit.

Oh, my gosh. OK. Not too bad. You're going to take 26 points of mental hit. Oh my gosh. Okay, not too bad. You're gonna take 26 points of mental damage. Oh God. Brrrr. Words. Uh.

Uh. Brrrr. Some sharp words. Words hurt, you know. Next one comes at Eris, and it's going to be a 29. Uh, hits. Hits with a 29.

Again, not terrible, just 26 points of mental damage next one comes at Aldo oh that's another 40 no no no no no is that a crit the 40 to hit oh yeah for the kid is critical all right so it's 28 points of mental I roll No. Is that a crit? The 42 hit? Oh yeah. Alright so, it's 28 points of mental, I rolled low. And then the last one will come at Suki. And that is another crit, I'm assuming, with a 41. Yeah. Damn.

Oh man. 42 points of mental damage. Oh my god. I'm confused. I'm confused. How is that a crit? Is your AC 21? Or 20? No, it has to be 10.

41. Yeah, 41. So my AC is below 31. So it's a 10 is the crit. Yeah, 10 is the crit. It's 10 plus. I'm sad. All right, so words fly about and people are hurting.

But it is Atticus' turn. Yes, come to me. He sees these words flying in. I know that one. Being an illusionist himself, he will roll arcana to counter the words. Right, so you see these words like flying towards you, past your friends, hitting your friends, your friends are being buffeted by these, and you try to speak words against them. He starts speaking the counter spells against them.

I'm going to roll a Handmade Die that I got tonight for, was it Ryan? Is that right, Ryan? Handmade die, probably imbalanced. Let's see if it's imbalanced in my favor. Arcana to counter natural one. Fuck this thing! God damn it! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, We've been waiting for that one That was so fucking funny to watch When I send this thing flying so goddamn far I bet you I could hit the door on the way out

It's gonna have to pass through customs. He's gonna throw it so fucking far Really really shitty Really really really shitty So what do you do? Yeah, I mean obviously he's never seen anything quite like this before so it's just not it's just not working Yeah, and I guess I'll just try it again. I don't see why he wouldn't yep So I'll try it again with an actual die that works Ryan just left

Sorry, right. We'll try this one for my buddy Travis This is a gorgeous die, and I can't read these numbers, so if it's a natural one. I don't ever know Here we go that is gonna be a natural five Here we go that is gonna be a natural five I'm gonna be here all night 28 you are so bad. I am so well. I mean he's just gonna do it again third action I don't know why not taking any there's no map on knowledge check. Yeah, I guess Third attempt is that'll be good, 38. Okay. There you go.

What? You're like, ah! Ah! The flying mime, he's dodging. Ah! That one hit Suki, he's like, eh. Doop, doop, doop, doop, doop. The next one.

And you. I told you to get out of the room. You were able to disable one of these books. Yes, yes! Yay! All right, but unfortunately it took all three actions. Very sad turn, and now it is Aldo's turn Aldo You see Atticus doing that, you know, you have these occult powers as well

I do you would like to take it so I would have to see out of find the next book first Is that right? No, you actually can just like with your powers. You don't need to see cuz he's trying to seek to attack You're trying. Oh, I could just okay okay great then yes I will do a an arcana check same come on get it natural fucking 20 yeah baby nice dude so after watching Atticus struggle with his words. You just like two hands out and you take out two of the books. Oh. I loosened that one.

Let me show you. I loosened that one. Done. Right? He weakened that one for you. And you still have two more actions. Oh. Try the game.

Nice. Just shut this shit down. No. I told you you could do it. I can do it. There's no reason to doubt yourself. I bring great arcane powers of another world That is I 30 tow and you've ended the haunt

And just as you finish you notice you feel like someone kneading your shoulders. Oh? That was impressive. I don't know how you knew what to say. It's just you knew exactly the right words. Your rat friend, I didn't even know he could talk. Aldo freezes. It's all right. And he starts like he, just without trying not to be seen at all, he's moving his hand up to his bandolier to grab an alchemist's fire.

It's all right. You're very tense. I can feel you tensing up. Yeah, definitely tensing up. Soon, Nethus will be inside you. Sookie loudly clears her throat. Ahem! Sorry.

I'm going to look at the other room down the hallway if anyone would like to join me. Yes, could I? Can anyone heal mental damage? Let's all look at the room. She rolls her eyes when all of you say yes. Mental damage, no. There's no cure for that. Suki, could I have a little, do you think you could help out my mind? Yeah, you gotta do continual healing.

Does your head hurt? Quite a bit. Oh. That's unfortunate. She turns around and keeps walking. Oh no. It's really, it's hard to start a polycule. It's the early... It's like the... It's a delicate time. Yeah, it's like the will they, won't they, do they all want to? I'm confused. Yeah, there's so many feelings to worry about.

Suki then has a moment of hesitation. She turns back, walks back. thought it just looks so sad. Oh dejected All right, she walks back over to Ethel Where does it hurt? Inside my head But more than usual. Oh, okay And I'll do who else needs anybody else needs a treat wounds. Um, I'm down

Yeah, you do emotionally or my head hurts too Suki puts on her healers gloves all right so I'm gonna do that I'll let you know what you get but we'll keep going I'll do that continual healing on y'all so true it was then like s3 half hour so in this room okay all right so you relax in this room and here's what I'll tell you you start to search the other rooms And it's all much of the same different schools of different schools of magic and nothing of import with the exception of these two like curtained rooms Over here near where the guardian mirror was.

When you go into both of those rooms, you find wooden cases containing expanded healers tools, a lesser healing potion, and a scroll of restoration. So you get two of each of those. Wow. Two expanded healers tools. Wow. Two lesser healing potions, two scrolls of restoration that you notice immediately.

Yeah. Atticus will gather all these up and then distribute them, you know, you'll write it down, but then to Eris and Suki. I'll take a lesser healing potion. And a lesser healing potion for... Yes. For you, Ethel. In times of great need when Suki is not to be found,

or when she meaninglessly becomes a bird. What? I'm sorry, oh, I didn't know you were an earshot. Meaninglessly becomes a bird. If I became a hawk, I could kill you. Yes, that is probably true. All right, so I'm assuming we get healed up, and then, all right, Ethel's gonna say why don't we

Check out what the door we opened To the north the north door to the Let's go You're both healed up to full I rolled rocks Absolute rock city you head to the north and Father Bubbles is standing there near the three open-mouthed angel statues. Oh, I didn't see you there. Why are your pants down?

What's that? Just adjusting. Just adjusting? Just adjusting my situation. It's hot here in Kadira. Eris. Look at this. Can we talk from it

Right now just real quick. Okay fine You know that thing we talked about? Yeah, I think I I think I found a third Me too you too. Yeah Say on three one two three father dick bubbles yes no no no I heard my name Suki is standing next to father dick bubbles just looking over at you guys they should make a statue out of you. For you.

She hates me. Who, me? Yes. But it could be hot. Get it! They have, actually. I hate bubbles. Made quite a few statues.

What's the plan here? That could be hot. Has anybody ever had this experience where you're in a gaming group and you enjoy Playing role-playing games with them and then things kind of take a turn And then you realize you don't want to play with those people anymore Because they're playing a game that you don't want to Job sadly you're trapped And can only play with these...

Sex-starved people. Tsuki also waves at Atticus and Aldo. What's happening here? I don't know! Atticus' focus is totally on the statue and nothing else! And he is going to examine it thoroughly. Yes. Look at this. Look at this.

I've walked by this statue so many times and never was their mouths open. Are we supposed to put something into the mouths? Oh, Suki, calm down. Calm down. Father... Yes, please. Call me Dick. Dick. Daddy Dick.

Oh, come on. I understand and I appreciate your guidance while we are here. You are welcome. But I do feel like you've been a bit of a distraction for us. Yes, I feel that way as well ever since I've joined this party. You've devolved into just a little bit of a different world. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person.

I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person.

I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a little bit of a different person. I'm a a bit of a distraction for us? Yes, I feel that way as well, ever since I've joined this party. You've devolved into just sexual humor. Perhaps if you put your shirt on, or... I... Oh, is it off again? Yeah. Watching all those words.

She puts her hand on his chest. Ah, yes. You're a nice guy. Thank you. And you seem really in touch with your god. Yes, Nethus is great. But I think... I love him.

I think we really... and she taps your chest. I think we really need to focus up. Yes, what were you saying? Do... What? What's that now? Do we put items like a stone or a rune or whatever into the mouths of the statues to get to the next level? Is there something we need to do? Is this like a fountain maybe? Should something

come out of the mouth? I don't know. Why are you here? I don't understand! You requested the presence of a priest, but I was never let beyond the university level. Surely there must be something in one of these mouths. Rat, have you found anything? I'd like to do a roll to see if I can determine if there are, like, if something comes out of the mouths or if something goes into the mouths. Or both.

Look at him looking at the mouths. He's eye level with them. It's adorable. Give me a perception check. Get a joke. Come on, let's get this. Let's get this. That is a 28, I'm sorry, yeah, 28.

28, so I imagine you're just sitting there and Father Bubbles comes up and he's like, do you see anything? Not yet, I'm still looking. You say you've never seen them open in this way, right? No, no, I've heard tell. Look at them. I look so happy.

What's this now? And you look and you see in like the base of one of the mouths that the other ones don't have is a curiously coarse-feeling metal tongue. This one has a tongue. Son of a gun, you're right. What should we do with it? Atticus, you're not going to like what we have to say. He'll reach out and you said he touched it, it's coarse feeling.

Does it feel like it moves at all? Like if I pull on it with a loosen? Yeah, it just has some give, like it wants to be pulled. Pull it out. Pull it. Pull it. You pull the tongue and all of a sudden, like, the statues... Oh! tongue and all of a sudden like the statues like slide to the side revealing a shaft that just goes straight down

goes straight down into darkness and once the statues have reached like the periphery of this valve you see like stone steps grinding out of the stone in this shaft, providing like a staircase down. Wow and there you go. It's so funny because it's like now you can say to the statue shut your mouth and it's like I'm just talking about the shaft. Oh! That has to be deliberate. Let's all get in the shaft. Who is the worthy efforts? Who's going down first? Ethel.

Please, go. Lead the way. You're right. Alright, so, Ethel. Here I go. You walk down the shaft. Is it pure darkness, or is there any residual light? It's just darkness.

Ethel, do you have dark vision or low light? I do. You have dark vision, yeah. Alright, so you can see everything's monochromatic. You get down to the end and there's a... I don't need you to mock my color blindness. It's just red and green. There's a like a key, like a heavy iron key, like a heavy iron key, like a foot long key, hanging from a wall and a giant keyhole like in the wall.

But the stairs just descend to the next level. And so you don't see like a door or anything. You just get to the bottom of the steps, there's a giant key and a keyhole in the wall, but you are on another level Any magic emanating from the key He doesn't know how to do that wait can we all walk down you all walk down? Yeah

No magic emanating from the king Can I try to turn put the key into the key to put the key into the keyhole? You put the key into the keyhole, it fits, but like nothing's happening. You all walk down? I jiggle it. Yes. Yeah. You're jiggling the key, nothing. After like a minute, like all the steps disappear into the wall and it's just smooth all the

way up, like unclimbable to get back to the first level. And you're still jiggling the key and when that happens, you click it and then they all come back. So you realize like it's a way to get back out. Oh, excellent. What are the meantime? Leave it here.

You're on a new map. And we must descend deeper. Take it to the new map. New map. New map. I thought I clicked activate and it did nothing. You are on a new map. Oh.

Oh. Oh. It's much cooler down here. You find yourselves at the sort of intersection of a hallway for different ways you can go the north, the south, the east. Yeah. What is happening? There's a dead body. Looks dead. Off to the right.

To the east, you can see the ends of the hallways, little like faintly glowing light coming from all four directions. But yeah, your eyes are immediately drawn to a dead body. I'll do a perception check to see if it's some sort of trap or something, if it's been trapped or if it's been, looks. So do you walk towards it? Yes, cautiously.

Okay, hold there, Ethel. This place, this level, I have never been allowed down here. Where is the rat going? He's abandoning us in our time of need bladders are small all right I will Ethel yeah what let me send Pepsi all right no skin off my snake and then then she looks around. What? Fuck! Where's Pepsi?

Where's Pepsi? Pepsi? Pepsi is trapped on the first floor. No! No! You said a bit. There's Pepsi. She says, I saw the mother saw not Pepsi crawls over to the dead body.

There's just a, and what can you see through Pepsi's eyes? Nope. Nope. I'm just going to ask Pepsi when he comes back. I can see through eggs eyes. I want to use Pepsi. All right. All right.

Go. I sent Pepsi over. Does anything happen? Pepsi crawls over and uh, no, nothing happens. Alright, Pepsi does a loop around. Comes back over. Comes to Suki. Suki holds his little head. This is great. Arama Sadamana.

Sarafana. Surabana. Samantha. Samantha? Samantha. Don't talk to Samantha. Pepsi says, it's a dead body.

It's a body of a dead person. Okay, and she tells Ethel, it's, whatever it is, it's a dead body. Father Bubbles. Yes? Would you say a blessing for the dead? Of course. Wait, what if we don't like them? Maybe perhaps we shouldn't.

No, wait, wait, I recognize this young man. Oh. Mickey. Mickey Weatherstone. Mickey Weatherstone? Yes. Write this name down. How dare you? Mickey was the custodian of this level. Often would we drink late at night, and then I just wake up the next morning with no memory of what happened. Mickey loved to drink and dance.

And now he's dead. I thought you never left the university level. Mickey? No, you. No, I didn't. But Mickey got days off. We would spend them together. I check him for traps again. Now look at him.

Dead. Mickey, can you hear me? Of course not, you're dead. Suki, can you determine how he died? Let me have a look. I'm sorry for your loss, Father. Actually, I'm going to look. It's all right.

I'm going to try to determine how he died okay that is a son of a bitch that is a 28 28 you lean down to inspect the body of Mickey Weatherstone the custodian of the this second level here you see a sign as you do that says arcana level as you're walking towards this corpse and there are several holes in his body that looks like piercing weapons like punctured him a trail of blood you're detecting some magic off of his body this is like forest all I rolled a 34 medicine do I know how long the body's good here when he when he died very good sometime in the last week however you all as you're inspecting the body and trying to determine perhaps

where this magic is coming from, like it looks like there's some stuff on his person, weapons perhaps, maybe one of the weapons is magical, maybe his armor is magical, but something starts to feel very cold in the area. And you all get overwhelmed by this feeling of dread. Everyone give me a fortitude save. Oh, oh.

Hate fortitude. Hate it. The water cheats. Another hunt. Give me a little fort save. Little fort jawn. I'm feeling very cold. Let me do up my shirt again.

He's been stabbed several times. There is some magic in it. What did you get Aldo? That's actually my strongest save. 35. 35! Ethel. Ethel also got a 35.

And if that's just a regular success, that's counted as a crit for me. Nice. Kate? 38. 38? Wow. That's counted as a crit for me. Nice. Kate? 38. 38? Ooh. Wow. That's a table of successes over there.

And a crit success. And a crit success. Let's check out table number two. What'd you get? Atticus also got a 35. Whoa, wow. Suke's Magukes. Oh no. Suki got a 22 and Pepsi got a 21.

Oh I should roll for egg. I rolled a natural 4. Egg got a natural 1. Oh no. Egg got a natural 1. Stop mentioning egg. I don't ever know. But it's what aren't you a rules boy? Yeah rules boy. Suki, have another rule. Suki, you become drained one. Oh my god. Pepsi and egg become drained too. At that moment, coming out of the wall is an apparition of a man that looks like the corpse of the man you are standing over. And it just like reaches out towards you. Roll for initiative.

Roll for initiativo, I guess. Roll. Here we go. Roll for initiative. Roll for initiative. Roll for initiative. All right, Ryan, you piece of shit. I guess. Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll!

Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll!

Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll!

Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! Roll! I've never seen in New York City and will never see in New York City. What? A bus driving down the city street with a big sign that said, not in service. And then it blinked off and it said, sorry. Wow. And then it blinked back on and said, not in service. And then, sorry. You'll never apologize for an out of service bus. It just says fuck

you, get out of the way. It doesn't say anything. It just speeds on by you with the lights on. It says out of luck, pal. All right, Ryan, here we go. Initiative. This is going to be a huge initiative. Man, that's poop. That's just poop. What'd you get there, poop? I got a 26. 26 for poop. What about Aldo? I also got a 26. Oh, look at 26, pals. Ethel.

Assuming rolling perception, Ethel got a 38. No, you can roll skeet shooting. All right. Ha! You say that as if it's ridiculous. That's how the game is played. What are the rules of the game? 40.

That's definitely not right. That's definitely not right. It absolutely... It cannot be right. It cannot be right. No, no, I'm doing this right now. I rolled a natural 18, my perceptions are 20, plus two for my incredible initiative, fuck off.

Wow. Yeah. Oh. X go give it to ya. I'm going to get it on your own, X go deliver. I forgot about my incredible initiative. Love you guys. So 28 for me.

28. As a part of that, as a free action, I can demoralize. Oh. Just hold your penis for a second. Eris, what did you get? I got a 19. 19. Listen, don't boo me.

You also get to offer up a battle cry. I know, but I was gonna wait for you to do your thing. Okay, okay. I got so cute. Demoral. Oh, so cute demoralize You're gonna demoralize this ghost. It's free. Why wouldn't I do it fucking dumb again? This is this is what it's like I know you guys think we're slow to adapt to chewy But we try to do like basic chewy things like demoralize. That's what we get and the ghosts is gonna be like

You don't know basic chewy things like demoralize that's what we get. And the ghost is gonna be like, No! A man! You don't know? A human man! I might have a profoundly unsettling effect on ghosts. Well, let's just really lean into this. This is the thing you're trying to scare. I can't wait. I'm trying to scare it. I can't wait.

That is what the body on the ground looks like? I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with you there. That guy's not named Mickey. That guy's not a Mickey. The custodian. Why, it's Mickey himself? I'd recognize those glowing red eyes of death anywhere. And it's a large creature.

Mickey has grown. But you see the features beyond that cowl do look like the features of the now deceased Mickey Weatherstone. I'm guessing with a natural four I don't intimidate him. You do not scare my ghost? What about you? Earth, it doesn't seem to be that scared of me. All right, I'll try.

Hey, you ghost, you better not mess with us. Stupid. 30. Against my Will DC. Will DC. Get out of here. Get that shit out of here. DC. Get out of here. Get that shit out of here.

Get that shit out of here. It is Ghostly John's turn. I thought his name was Mickey. Yes, but I put it as Ghostly John. Ghostly John! What to do? What to do?

Oh no, he's right next to Atticus. It's his only melee target. A spectral hand reaches out towards Atticus. It reaches right through your fur to your soul. 30. 30. No. No.

33. That is a hit. I don't even know if I own this many D10s. Oh, boy. I might have to go to the store and buy more D10s. I might have to buy more D10s! Did I ever tell you... Love that new joke.

Did I ever tell you guys a story? When you invited me to join your Jade Region campaign, I was playing a cleric and I was like, I'm gonna need some DE-8s. I went to the gaming supply store and I went up to the guy, I was like, hey, do you have any loose polyhedral die? And he was like, it was a complete strategist.

Yeah, yeah. And the guy was like, he points me to the tray and I was like, I need some DE-8s because I'm going to play a cleric. And he looked at me like he wanted me to the tray and I was like, I need some D8s because I'm going to play a clerk. And he looked at me like he wanted me to die right there. I was like, I'll take these and go. My papa gave me a quarter for a Sunday. May I have please a Sunday?

That was kind of what it was like. Reaches through to your very soul. You feel your heart get icy like it's the dead of winter. You take 27 points of negative damage. And I need you to roll a fortitude. Come on with this. My name was Vicky. All right, Travis, here you go. Gorgeous emerald green dye. It is, it is however unreadable. It's very pretty.

I'll just make up the number. Nope. Can't do that. Fortitude save, let's go, Travis, come on! Come on, buddy! It doesn't. It doesn't. Do you want me to read it for you?

That doesn't. Oh, no. Do you want me to read it for you? That doesn't, oh no no. No! No! This die is ruining the show. Why are you reading it like a book? What's your role? Doing math. Critical failure?

Critical failure perhaps. What's the number? 22. 22! Two. 22? 22. And I have no bottle cap. They were all stripped away. Okay. That is a critical failure. However. Oh no. Eric back there, pretending my death. Eric certainly thinks this is bad news.

Whose side are you on, Eric? It's bad when the lighting guy is like, uh oh. Oh shit, I better. He's back there, I've been waiting for this rat to die all night. Sick of his shitty British accent. die all night. Sick of his shitty British accent.

All right. It's really funny to me. And everything, the whole staff is just like, God, the voice work is so terrible. I just wish they would all die. I'm not seeing anything here that should increase the penalty. Oh, critical failure here. However, you will be drained one. That's draining it reach through to your insides with its spectral hand and it is just sucking

the light from you getting more powerful as it does. So it has came out hand, one more action. It will attack Pepsi. Who has already drained two. And I think I fucking missed Pepsi. Oh! What'd you get? That's gonna be a 26. Wow. My baby's got barding.

He's got armor. Yeah. Stop petting this. Put armor on my snake. You're making everyone uncomfortable. This is my fantasy land. Suki, it is your turn. Dope. and. Suki, it is your turn. Dope. That's what Suki says, sick. Yeah, sick roll. Look at the drop off here, Ghostly John 40, Suki 40, next initiative 28.

Pretty big drop. I'm wondering. Big turn for you here, Sukes. I, as the player, don't know things about haunts, so I'm playing true to my character. I don't think this is a haunt. No. Oh.

I think this is a creature. This is just a ghost? I believe. A g-g-g-ghost? A g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost? No, no, no, just a regular ghost. You can do a knowledge check, but... I don't want to.

Um... All right, I'll do a knowledge check. I don't want to. Alright, I'll do a knowledge check. I think you're well suited to this. Yeah, can I do a- You are religion, right? Can I do a knowledge religion? Yes, yes you can. As it is, some sort of ghostly, dead Mickey. I rolled a natural one.

It means you get a piece of incorrect information. Yes. It's a natural one. You need to get a piece of incorrect information. Yes. It's a living man half sticking out of this wall. It's Troy's favorite thing. He just starts screaming, it's alive! Help him! It's alive! I think we need to heal him!

You are positive that it is not immune to death effects. Okay, good to know. I tell everyone that. With my extensive knowledge of religion. Use your- It can die. It can for sure die. Alright, then I'm going to- how badly are you hurt, Atticus? Do you need to be healed? Always. Yes. But do you need to be healed now or should I do something else? You should do whatever you want. Okay. I am going to use something new that I got and I am going to... I didn't say do something stupid. Like, nevermind, nevermind. Uh, Suki, seeing this ghost try to hit Pepsi. This kid loves it.

Joe really makes me laugh. Joe is a funny guy. He's really fucking funny. Suki is going to like put her hand in front of Pepsi, and push her other hand out in a fist. Like she's gonna like punch this ghost. And from her fist, you see a fist. She's gonna punch this ghost. And from her fist, you see a glint in this light, this low light setting, a glint on her hand

of a ring she's wearing. And she bought something with all her money. Oh, from Jostens. From Jostens. She went to Jared, and she got a ring of the ram. Oh, elastic! And I am going to activate my Ring of the Ram towards this ghost for two actions.

So I need you to make a fortitude save. Ooh. Joe, you look so happy right now. I guess it's immune to anything about the fortitude save. It might not work. I'm having fun. Wait. Be careful, Mickey was a friend. Ram that ghost.

Fortitude safe. 35. At least he rolled the save. That's good. So that is a critical success. So you are unaffected. Okay. Sookie, you're going to be the last one to jump out of your chair.

I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair.

I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. I'm going to jump out of my chair. That is a critical success, so you are unaffected. Okay. Suki. What finger is that ring on? What finger is that ring on? Uh. My wedding ring.

Is it my wedding ring? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know, oh my god. What? I do think that like I think you can I think you can cast like a high level two action heal on this thing. Yeah. And it damages it. That's what I was gonna ask. Yeah. But I rolled really bad on my knowledge check. Yeah well. So I don't know that. Hindsight is 2020 Suki. So Suki, that's Suki's turn, she really fumbled that.

And then Pepsi is just gonna bite. Yes, bite the ghost, Pepsi. Yeah, we're just gonna see what happens. That's gonna be a 32 to hit. How do you get that instruction to a snake? How do you tell a snake, it's like, bite that, you're like that. In a shocking turn of events,

the snake does not bite the ghost. Wait, 32 to hit. Yeah, I heard you. Okay. It's a big old miss. 32, a big old miss is it. Well. That's my turn.

We're in for a long night. Father Bubbles says I didn't know she was a ghost. Oh wait, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. It was a 34. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, it was a 34. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, went to Canada. Sorry. That's a hit.

Yes! Oh. So dumb. Alright. That was my bad, I didn't mean to do that, I didn't mean to lie. The snake bites the ghost. 10 points of piercing damage.

It does no damage. Okay. It's not. And Suki looks at the group and goes, and now we know. That's right. Thank you for your noble sacrifice. I think we all.

Of your turn. I think we all learned something. Atticus, it's your turn. Ah, fuck. Uh, I mean. Atticus, get out of there. You're talking to nothing. This is so bad.

Like these drain conditions, by the way, are so bad. Because we're in like a dungeon where it's gonna be really hard to just like rest. That's the only way to get rid of it. No, restoration. We have all the restoration. Does that get rid of drain? That would be awesome. Alright, so he's drained now. He's like, skin is sinking in and he looks like even older. And this adventure alone has aged him. Grade his hairs.

Are you standing on top of Father Dick? You are. Oh, I couldn't breathe. What are you doing under that? Sorry. All right. Smell like roses. Shit.

What? All right, Atticus is going to, I think I'm gonna start with a recall knowledge. So I'm gonna try to see if I can get something on this creature That is wise figure something out about how to beat this goddamn thing All right religion not my best so let's see nope Nope That is a 20

So then not knowing what to do He's going to get away from it. He's just going to flee. So he will... As you pull away... Yeah, that's what I was looking for. Attack of opportunities. Oh no!

Oh shit. Spectral hand says, get the fuck back here. Oh no! Okay. 34. Hit. You're gonna take... Oh no. Okay 34. Hit. You're gonna take oh no. Oh 3d10 987. Oh no 24. Thank you. With a bone? With a bone. What's the bone? 31 points of negative damage. Fudge in the jaw. And I'm gonna need another fortitude save.

Oh, you gotta be shitting me with this. Oh my god. If only you had learned knowledge about it. You would have known. Ryan and Travis, both of you have fucked me tonight. Stop rolling your dice. Pick a different die. You can't even read it. I'm sticking with them, they were very nice!

That doesn't make it right! His death is on your hands. Oh my god! Where are you, you son of a bitch? Here we go! I hate you so much, you were so nice! He's too cute. His life is in your hands, dude. His life is in your hands. Here we go!

Natural 3! Woo! his life is in your hands dude. his life is in your hand. here we go natural three! that's the exact roll I got on Travis's die. another 22. so this is really bad it grabs into your soul drains you does a ton of damage. It then grabs you again, does a ton more damage. You go to drain two. This is so bad, dude. This is tough. Real bad, especially at higher levels because your drain value lowers your max hit points based on your level.

And so now it's two times your level. What level are you? 11. All right, so your base hit points go down by 22 points. Oh my gosh. Wow. Hopefully it doesn't have multiple attacks of opportunity, but luckily it's Ethel's turn.

Are you stronger than a snake? Oh, it's still your turn? Yeah, it's still my turn. Though it's going to be pretty useless at this point. Shit. But I had to get out of there. All right. I will use a, man, I'm just going to, I'm going to do another recall knowledge. I'm going to do arcana though. To see if I can try to damage this maybe or something. All. Alright, here we go. 32. Okay.

This is a wraith. Oh! Oh, shit. Wow. It is a specific wraith known as a dread wraith. It feeds on fear. It's living up to its name. It is a specific wraith known as a Dread Wraith. It feeds on fear. Something happened to poor Mickey Weatherstone that turned him into a Dread Wraith.

A very powerful version of a Dread Wraith. They're incorporeal, they're undead. Is there anything specific that you want to know? I'd like to know if... I'd like to know if it has a mind. Is it immune to mental? Good question. It is not immune to mental.

Alright, that's good for an illusionist. Okay. Alright, it is not immune to mental. It has a mind! It's still thinking. Yes, Mickey is not immune to mental it has a mind it's still thinking yes Mickey is in there somewhere. Ethel be careful. That was a friend of mine We have plans for dinner next week What were you gonna do well he loved Italian food and hated his wife I

Would counsel him over long nights, drinking wine and eating spaghetti. Okay, on that note, Ethel will step up and he will do a double slice. Oh, Mickey no. Unless there's anything that Atticus gleaned from his recall knowledge that would tell me that I shouldn't do this.

No, you saw... Do what? Attack it? You saw Pepsi attack it, did 10 points of damage and it did no damage. You figured there's some sort of resistance there, so you're gonna really have to lay out the damage to get past it. But you have that... I combine my damage with the double stars. You combine your damage and you have that cold, which would all go through if it's not immune to cold all right? Let's hope you have a cold stay away from me. Okay. That's gonna be a oh

For the war hammer that will be a 41. Oh shit there you go kid and a 31 on the hatchet All right hit miss all right, so I don't get to combine, but you're down boy Oh, no come on Okay, 19 points of bludgeoning okay respectable four points of cold okay 19 blood for cold That is Ethel's turn Everyone get away. It's this is your moment cold. That is Ethel's turn. Wow. Everyone get away.

This is your moment. This is your moment, Ethel says, and now it's Aldo's turn. He turns down to Mickey's body. You too, friend. The body does not respond. Your funeral. Yes, we will have a grand funeral for Mickey.

Aldo, you're up. I wrote a joke about Seattle. Oh. Oh. Which I'd like to tell quickly before. We're in Vancouver, but. Well, I didn't have, I don't have. Pretend it's the Catskills.

I can't joke about Vancouver, it's too perfect. I have a joke about Seattle. Oh. People are always talking about this hot new rock and roll style coming out of Seattle. They call it the Seattle scene or grunge music, but I think that's a missed opportunity. Why don't they call it that Puget sound? Alright. So I actually have something that's going to turn this fight around, I think. Not that joke.

No. I like this. It is, Aldo goes into his bendelir,leah. Bend-a-leah. Striking rune bend-a-leah. And he pulls out a substance that I don't think he's ever produced before. And he shakes it up, it's almost like white swirling vapor in this bottle. What do you got in there? And he throws it, it is a ghost charge, a moderate ghost charge.

Oh. At this creature. Moderate ghost charge. Oh at this creature moderate ghost Moderate what does that shit do? Well, we find out if it hits. Okay or perhaps that is Okay, it's a 29 Splash. All right, so that's two points of positive energy damage. Okay, that all goes through. Okay. Sweet. I'm gonna do...

I'm gonna throw another one. Yeah! Come on. Do it! Vain hope that'll hit with one of these. Fuck. All right, two more points of positive energy damage. And yeah.

Yeah, I do have the holy water, but I'm gonna miss with it anyway. I'll just drink it. Drink the holy water. Yes. I don't this... You can never miss with the water blessed by the Lord. A situation like now I'm a devout Christian. There's nothing, this is a situation where it's like I'm really I really don't know what I can do that would be useful with the third action. It actually might be useful if you step away,

because if it tries to move on one of you, I can attack with opportunity. All right, yeah, I will, I'll, Aldo with his third action will step down the hallway a little bit, back to the sort of nexus. Okay, so you back up towards where you first entered this area and now it's Eris's turn So Ethel is trying to make space for us to run not run just You don't want to get hit by this. Okay, I

Have it's all it's for shoot saves and I have the the bravery And I have, it's Foreshoot saves and I have the Bravery. Not the Bravery, the Battle Heart. So I get that boost to my saves. So you'll be fine. You'll live forever. I'll live forever, but you guys don't want to take that drink. You're so brave. Oh thanks.

Thank you. Alright, so then I'm not gonna move. I'd like to try to make a knowledge check to see if it's weak to anything. Okay. You wanna do religion or? religion would be the best, but you can do a higher DC with another. I'd like to try a cult.

Okay, try it. Let me see, that's so big. 39. 39, that is pretty big. All right, so it's not weak to anything, but I will tell you this. It has resistance all ten. But what gets through is force, ghost touch, or positive. And it has double resistance versus nonmagical.

Now your war hammer is magical. So that all went through. But if you were just, I don't think anybody at this point is using non-magical weapons, but... Does anyone have the spell Ghost Touch? No. No. Not prepared. Not prepared.

Not prepared. Ghost Charge, if that had hit, that would have been good, but Force, Magic Missile, shit like that would help. Do you have any Force damage you can do? Besides, it's not called magic missile anymore. Force barrage. Force barrage. Before it, call it whatever you want.

Besides that, no. I call it powie, powie, powie. That's fun. What I did want to do though is since Ethel's staying up there and tanking, I wanted to try to cast Ill Omen on the thing. Okay. So can you please roll a will save? Let me see some of the.

The traits? Cursed divination is fortune. Okay, all right. Trying to curse my ghost? Yeah. You trying to curse my ghost? Maybe. Like a rude, all right, what is it, a will save?

Will save, please. Okay. Oh, that is very wise. Oh, neck, mouth, one. If he rolls low. Shitball. Oh! Yes!

But still a 33. Oh my god, are you serious? Yeah. It's a pass. Yeah. All right, so she tries to mutter out something like, if you touch Ethel, I'm gonna kill you. Shit.

That doesn't make any sense. And I guess nothing happens. Damn it. And that's your turn? That's my turn, that was two actions. It's Father Richard Bubbles' turn. How is his initiative seven? Oh, because he's level zero.

Oh my. I just remembered. Mickey, you are larger than I remember. This isn't the Mickey I know. Mickey, look, stick! Yeah. Look, Mickey. Mickey!

You remember these abs? Don't be foolish! We are not here to harm you, we are here to lay you to rest! By the power of Nethus, I compel you! Leave us be. And it is Mickey Weatherstone's turn. Oh no. With Mickey's first action, he reaches a hand out towards Ethel.

Yikes. This could be a crit. This could be a 42. That's just a regular hit. Wow! Nice Ethel! Damn Ethel! You upgraded your armor right in Kazimir. Yeah Money well spent our money well spent 25 points of negative energy. Give me a fortitude save

That will be a 33 You're all right Dude, Ethel is perfect for this and then he reaches out towards father dick bubble He rolls a natural two and it hits father He hits father dick for oh no Come on He hits Father Dick four. Oh no. Oh come on. 22 points of damage. Father Dick falls to the ground. Why didn't you flee?

Nat three is on his fortitude save. Father Dick is drained one and unconscious. He's unconscious? This is fucked up because I really, really, really need healing. This creature really, really needs healing damage done to it. And now Suki is only going to heal Father Dick Bubbles.

That's the problem. Ethel drops his weapons and tries to resuscitate Father Dick Bubbles. Oh my god. It just systematically kills everyone as we try to resuscitate Father Dick Bubbles. Hold on Father, I'm going to give you mouth to mouth. With its final action, it recedes back into the wall and disappears out of sight. This shit. I want you doing a show right. I wonder if had some sort of vendetta against father dick bubbles and now

its mission has been fulfilled. that has been fulfilled. It disappears into the wall and it does not return father dick is dying. What does anyone do? We're out of combat. Yeah, we're out of combat. Yeah, I was going to cast a big spell. Well, you better use it on Dick mouth to mouth.

Ethel goes down and gives father Richard bubblesbles mouth to mouth. Mouth to dick. Come on. Oh my God. Did you say that? No, Skid said that. It's the man's name. Skidmar. It's the man's name.

This show's falling apart. Suki just rolls her eyes at Ethel, dropping his weapons dramatically, and she just kind of flicks her wrist in his direction and casts Stabilize. Oh! That doesn't wake him up. You don't wake up.

He's unconscious, and we might just leave him here. Right? Stable. Alive, but shutting the fuck up. He does look so peaceful this way. Doesn't he? And Suki kind of leans over him. And Ethel leans over as well. He's just slapping his lips.

And Suki like brushes her hair in his face, his unconscious face. He'll probably remember the smell of me, the person who saved his life. Oh, oh, is that you, Melissa? Oh, Melissa. Yes. Ha ha ha ha.

Did he just, did he just say Melissa? I think he said Melissa. Have we ever asked him about his love life? Never mentioned him. No, he's pretty shy about talking about it, actually. I thought, I was thinking we could have a conversation later. Is he having a dream? Marcus, Marcus, cut it out.

Marcus? You scamp. Alright. Do you think he's talking to his dogs? You know what, I thought you're probably right. He's probably talking to his dogs. Melissa and Marcus. Yes, it's good that your husband's away, now we can talk.

That part is confusing about the dogs. Seems weird. I mean, he is a priest, maybe he married his dog. Look at you! A human woman right in front of me. She... Look at you! A human woman right in front of me. She. Look at you! A human woman. Just my type. Human woman. This is so similar to my dreams. This is exactly what happens. Wow! Look at you! A lady. What memory is he? Oh, no! you lady. What memories

and how do you know at that moment to specify yeah, so the way I'm taking this as Canon from now on that if we are stabilized and unconscious, we can talk we could talk in our dream and dream. Suki holds his face. Yes, and then slaps him really hard as she casts, or as she treats wounds. And you're gonna come back to full health, no matter what I do. You have such little health. What happened?

Is Mickey all right? No. Mickey's dead. Mickey's dead. Oh my god, oh there he is! You're so much smaller than I remember. No, that, no, that's Mickey, and there's also the ghost of Mickey is what we were fighting.

That's right. How long was I out? Two days. Oh, this is like when I got a colonoscopy. There's so much about you I don't know. I can't help but notice a statue of an angel on the west corner of this West the west side of this floor. Yes, also way more blood over there This is love angels

I'm gonna proceed with caution over this way. Oh come with me Atticus fucked up. He's like on one knee, like leaning on his staff, like. Like trying to take in air. And Suki's just like, peace. Look at that angel over there. Oh my gosh, Atticus, I think you and Egg feel the same right now when she takes out her poppet. She's like, aw.

He looks at the poppet and sees its sunken features and he can feel himself withering away. Tell him you're also drained too. I'm also drained too. It's Eris speaking at you, it's not pop the poppet. Yes, I knew that. All right, you get 34 back. I could do some healing.

Oh my God. That is not nearly half. Let me help. Here my son. He places a hand on you and you get one hit point back. Did you feel that? Did you feel all my power? Actually it was quite incredible. 52, 52 back. I need to sit. And me too, right? Ah yes, I thought here, take three hit points. Oh, I'm gonna throw up. Were you talking to Father Dick Bubbles or were you talking to me?

The most healing I've ever done. I was talking to you, Suki. Oh! What's his deal? Is he making you look at him? I think he over exerted himself by actually being useful for four seconds. Oh, I've never healed anyone before. Oh. Father, father, father.

Oh my god. And Ethel puts his hand on his shoulder. I feel the power of your god within me. Please don't make me do that. If you feel so powerful, Ethel, perhaps you'll all sit then. No, no, I feel the power of his god, but I also feel very hurt. As do I. Ooh.

Eeeeh! Sorry, Ruel. As a priest throws up between us. Abominable priest. You'll get, I gotta do more math. 21, just lie, 3, 51. Oh no, oh no, Disney's doing math.

Slowly but surely, 51, back to you. That's plenty, I'm grateful. Anybody else? We just spent like 40 minutes doing this. Let's go this way. Wait, no, hold on, I can't run. So also with restoration, we have these drain conditions. Restoration doesn't seem to handle that.

Oh. Clumsy, enfeebled, or stupefied. Ew. It can lessen toxin, lessen a toxin reduche, reduce? Reduce? Reduce? Lessen a toxin reduce the stage. You're acting like a real reduce.

That's weird. Lessen a toxin reduce the stage. I think we need to full night's rest to get rid of Drain. I think that's the only cure. I did not ask Egg to prepare the cabin. Ah. That's how Suki feels. I'm feeling a little stupid now. I was really looking forward to showing Father Dick

some of your books, some of your etchings. Perhaps we can find a room here that we could bar and protect. I think Atticus, Atticus, are you all right? I'm feeling very weak. You're shaking. It's, and went through me and took something away, and it is no longer visible. It's still went through me and took something away, and it is no longer visible.

It's still here though. It's still around on the floor. It could come at any moment, and it's like kind of wide-eyed. He starts like backing up along the wall, looking at the wall where it came from. It's like, there is no rest to be had. There will be no peace in this place. Yeah, let's go check out this angel. Wait, wait. If you need a room, I think there's a study to the south.

If I remember correctly, they gave me a map of this place. They taunted me with it. I said, you'll never get to the arcana level. Can we still just turn the angels? Ethel, please, please. Perhaps we still just turn the angels in? Ethel, please, please. Perhaps we shouldn't.

Follow father's recommendation. There may be a place we could rest for a moment. Yes, to the south here. There should be a study. Oh, look. I'll walk ahead. Atticus, you follow behind. You're shaking.

Sorry. I can't seem to get my strength. Here, Father Dick, I'll carry you.icus you follow behind you're shaking Can't seem to get my strength here father dick I'll carry you that's right, and I pick him up like a baby. Oh You're so strong. Oh I have been working out the power of nevis was this the study. Yes There's a study. I believe oh, it's beautiful down here, I've never been. No, it appears, quick, someone has broken down the door. What's that? And sure enough, the door to the study is just in shambles. And Suki, as you turn the corner,

you see bodies lying on the ground. Oh, god damn it. Oh. No. Wait, no. Father Dick. Yes. Here. Suki, hold Father Dick, and I pass Father Dick to Suki. Oh, god damn it. No. Wait, no. Father Dick, here. Suki, hold Father Dick, and I pass Father Dick to Suki. Oh, god.

I take, am I holding him? Just drop him. You are all. Keep your hands free. Everybody keep your hands free. I have one hand, I'm holding one hand. You're holding him by the hair with one hand. Yeah, I'm holding him by his head.

I feel so weak in your arms. Is it bright down here or something? Wait, what is this? What were they studying? How to die? Sexy and clever They were really good students then Fucking nailed it. They excelled at their craft. My god. Father Dick, don't look.

I don't know if your small feeble mind will be able to handle these dead bodies. No, no, it's too late. I've already seen what they've learned. They've learned. And it's so stupid. You look in this room, not only is the door broken down. Oh my god, there's a lot of bodies. Yeah, there's bodies everywhere. The door's broken down, there are shelves that have been knocked over, stacked on top of each other like there used to be a makeshift barricade

preventing entrance to this chamber that has been torn apart. There's just shit everywhere. The room is in utter chaos. Shelves on the floor, books have been shredded, and the place smells like a sweat and human waste. Ugh. And there are several bodies on the floor, all seemingly dead, and their entrails have been ripped out

torn about and strewn about the room. Strewn. Perfect. Perfect. Atticus goes to sleep. Yeah. Oh. A place of respite. SUKI rolled a 31 as I slowly step and squish the entrails all over the floor, covering everything in more blood as I look at these dead bodies to determine what happened in here. So you notice a couple things as you're squishing through their entrails.

They all bear the markings of the guardians. You see they all have sigils of Nethus emblazoned on their clothing. And so you realize these must have been the people that went in with Elderlythene. In fact, perhaps they are Elderlythene, but if you mention this to Father Bubbles, Father Bubbles just is like, No, no, none of them are Elderlythene. But I know these men and women. I supped with them. What? I sang her a lullaby just two nights ago. What?

Yes, they are good people, and now they are dead. What are their names? What? What? Yes, they are good people, and now they are dead. What are their names? You knew them so well, of course. You would know their names. That's Melissa. Oh, that's Melissa! This is Marcus.

Suki freezes. That's Peter. And Tim, Timothy. You knew them well. Melissa, Marcus, Peter and Timothy, yes. Melissa is a human woman. Yes, she's a human, look at her. It's hard to tell, her entrails are all over the place.

As human as the days long, and now they are dead. Extremely human. What happened? Of all the souls I have ever encountered. Yes. Hers was the most, we must human, we must say a prayer over their bodies. All right, go ahead.

Oh me, all right. You are the man of the cross. Yes, yes, yes, it's fine. All right, close your eyes. Oh, god. Yes, yes, it's fine. All right, close your eyes. Oh, God. Oh, God.

This is absolutely what the writers of this adventure intended to happen. And what you all paid for. Oh, God. happen, and what you all paid for. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. You know I love you. What you have allowed to happen here on this day makes me question everything. Look at this. Blood, viscera, everywhere.

Sweet mad nethers, why? Is this some trick you're trying to play on us? Is this a sign of things to come, God? If so, I can only hope I figure out the answer to your mysterious religious riddle, that I may lead my friends to the truth they seek. Amen. Atticus, where are you going? Guys, where are you going? All right. See you.

I think we can just probably leave him in there a while. Didn't seem to be getting through with you particularly quickly. I like to imagine Father Dick Bubbles had his eyes closed. File out quietly. father had his eyes closed. Seriously though, can Atticus do a check to determine what may have done this in the sense of is there a creature or could it be the wraith that is known for tearing entrails from bodies? Probably not. because the damage he seemed to do to him was draining life force. Can I do a check to determine? And Suki, you rolled really well to try to determine before all that nonsense. You do see, and so, Anna, because I'm going to have you just, you don't have to roll a check, you're just

looking and trying to figure this out. And Suki, you have some medicine knowledge, right? Yeah. So you see like on their skin you start to get close and then you pull back they have like these weird like boils on the surface of their arms some of them look like they burst and there's like I core leaking down amidst the blood whereas that first body that you saw had like holes from a spear or something like that. And mind you, that body had magical shit on it. We didn't resolve what we did with it.

We remember. We didn't resolve. But these don't have piercing wounds. They just have these boils, like some sort of weird disease. Can I do a medicine check? List. Yeah. It appears to be an affliction of some sort.

Can I do a quick examination to determine with an arcane check if they are arcane in nature? If they were from a spell like the spell blister or if they were from yeah you know natural affliction? Aldo be careful how close you get it could be contagious it certainly is and I don't recognize this I don't have my glasses. 28 medicine for ephel on the boils and then 30 arcana for uh atticus on on the source being magical in nature. Okay. And medicine from you? 39. 39. Okay. So you, Atticus, you don't think that there's anything magical going on here,

but both Suki and Ethel see that they've been infected by some strange disease. As you continue to examine it looks like they were grabbed by something and like squeezed and something happened in that constriction that like transferred something into them. Like a contact poison. Some sort of contact poison but you see like little it looks like they've been infested or like their flesh has been infected by something okay I relay that to everyone and I say I don't think we should stay in this room sorry father dick bubbles I know you thought this would be safe but I don't believe it is yes no clearly this room full of blood and viscerize. Not nice.

You said it really well. Yep. My thoughts exactly. Yes. I feel as if I'm at a podium to the north. Let's go. All right. Where where do we go next? Let's check out the angel. Yes. Oh no. Yes, my child.

Nope, I'm still in the room. Goodbye, Melissa. Are these bloody footprints what we see? Oh, I think I see another body. Sure enough, as old, what's your name? His character's name is Ethel. Thank you. As old, Ethel begins to...

That's Ethel Marmon to you. Creep down here, you do see blood, bodies. What room is this? At a glaive. You see there are, it's like a, it almost looks like a little mini library in this alcove all the books are bound with red leather and sure enough there are what looks like at least two bodies one to the north and if you move another step forward, you'll see another one to the south.

Two bodies in like this miniature library and one of the angel statues, similar to the one you saw upstairs. And you know that from Elder Theor, she told you like on every floor, turn four heads, it'll open a gateway to the descending level, and eventually you'll get to the soul. Perception check to see if I detect any ghosts or any other creature in the immediate area before I approach

the angel. Okay so not unlike Scooby-Doo you look for ghosts. Yes exactly like that 36 on 36 No ghosts. All right, Ethel will approach the angel. Okay. It's just looking at you. Hi angel I'm gonna turn your head now. Okay, I Turn the angels head Atticus is just gonna turn it out of for a second while the two of them are alone He's gonna be, they're all insane. I don't remember who we started with. How did this happen? I don't know.

Devolved into such insanity. It's sort of a gradual process of maddening. Ethel is speaking to the statue. He is. Okay. Priest trying to have sex with everyone. You approach this angel statue. You go to turn its head and you do turn it, but then like it just grinds right back into

place. Maybe you try a second time. It grinds back into place. As you're fucking around with that and you hear that metallic sound, there's another sound of like wet sloshing. This. And you all look to the south as almost as if out of the shadows from these two just massive piles of tar and mouths come sloshing towards you and they all seem to like cry like babies oh no no they kind of look like this. Oh, I know what that shit is.

Oh. And we'll see you in St. Paul. Oh no. No, no, no, no, look at it. What the? You're gonna drive us all mad. Ah. Thank you.

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