The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 92 – Priestbound & Clown

Episode Date: June 15, 2024

An old friend resurfaces to help the party against new horrors. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/dXNLIv-3FvY Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at jointhenaish.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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like 2FA on Kraken. A surefire way to keep what you already have safe and sound. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. That's a new one! Minnesota! Minnesota! Minnesota! Minnesota! That's a new one! Minnesota! Minnesota!

Minnesota! Minnesota! Love you guys! How are we doing Minnesota? How are we doing Minnesota? How are we doing Minnesota? Saturday night, Minnesota land of 10,000 lakes and zero teams in the NBA finals. Hey, hey, too soon. I was pulling for you guys, but you will not be in the finals this year

This is our I can't believe this is our third time in the great state of Minnesota our that's amazing Third time in st. Paul and our third time right here at the Amsterdam Bar and Hall and It's our first Twin City sellout. You did it. You did it. So proud of you, I knew you could. I think we should come back every year. I agree with you.

Yeah. I'm telling you, I'm telling you. This is my list, this is my list. Philly, where I came from. Boston, where Troy came from. And St. Paul is the only other city we go to every year. Every year. Every year.

I like it. Woo! I have had such a good time since I got here. I went to the Twins game last night. It was amazing. It was, I didn't know any of the names of the players. I don't think any of the fans did either, but it was 20 degrees out.

It was perfect weather and nice and cold. I felt like Christmas and the ballpark was absolutely beautiful. I was by myself so I didn't have to talk to anybody except the concession people who were like really fucking pleasant and nice. It was beautiful. This is so weird. So nice and weird. What's your angle there, nice lady? I hit up a couple sick breweries near the park,

and then I was just sipping on Michelob Golden Light All Game. What a delicious beer. What a weird beer that you can only get around here. It's such a random beer that you can only get here. It was so good, and the twins won, and it was later, and I was like, all I wanted to do was take a lift back to St. Paul go to a bar like a sports bar near the hotel and

just kind of chill and cheer on the Timberwolves all by myself and I walk into a bar and all of them are sitting at the table. It's like one weird happy family and I like went into panic mode I my body just started like sidling toward the door but also to the bar I'm like maybe if they don't think I can see them I could just sit at the bar like a sociopath. It isn't that surprising or unusual because there's only one open bar in St. Paul after 9 p.m. We tried three of them. We tried both and they were like, we're closing early this Friday. We just called last call, it is 8.20.

Yeah. What? It's like, well, it's Memorial Day weekend. So obviously a restaurant is closing on Friday night at 8.30. When your NBA team is in the Western Conference Finals. Yeah, a sports bar, the game is on the TV and it's just like, third quarter, everybody out.

We're all going to the lake, I'm sorry. Everybody has to leave. We have to open tomorrow at noon, like every other business in this town. I had to walk four miles to get coffee this morning. Insanity. But the one reason that I did stay at the bar is I saw a sexy man sitting with this crew and that

Man's name is Eric Mona So I kiss him on the lips and get that mustache in your mouth I imagine most people know this, but Eric moved from Seattle. He lives here now. Yes. What do you do if you work? You work in a Target?

What are you doing? I'm working, I'm publishing Pathfinder still, but from my new home. You're at Seychelles. In the greatest state of the United States of America! Wow! Yeah! Woo!

Thank you, thank you. I love it here. Always have. This is big. How long have you been back? I've been back about 7-8 months. Bought a house like an adult. I know, it's crazy. And it's affordable here, which it was not in Seattle. So thank you.

Thank you. That's great, well I mean, when I knew you were planning to do this, because we're Facebook friends, and I saw you were thinking about doing this, and all I could think was, we gotta go back to St. Paul, and we gotta have Tiny Murder Club. Oh, I'm so happy to be here. Yes.

Yes. TMZ! I, I, I'm feeling a little weird tonight I'm like we've been we went to Vancouver a couple nights ago I'm all fucked up from the time and I wanted to rush here just go to the twins game like a site I had a really intense customs experience. They patted him down in Extreme ways he still hasn't gotten over it. Take guns into this country. I thought was America If you got all these guns in Canada, what am I thought it was America. I just went to Canada, picked up a few guns.

If you got all these guns in Canada, what am I supposed to do? Yes, I've got something to declare in AR-15. What's your problem? So that was a little problematic at four in the morning. But I finally arrived here in Little Minneapolis and I've had a good time, but it's been a weird day and we ate at st.

Dinette the restaurant not too far away. It was great, but It was the brunch menu and so none of us it was like 130 like I don't want to eat fucking eggs at 130 so the only non egg thing was a bologna sandwich or Cheeseburger and Mona was like gotta get the cheese burger really good alright That'll be good before a show. And let's just say I was having a bit of a juicy Lucy situation in the bathroom. A real hot dish if you know what I mean.

On the toilet and so I was sitting back there. We all have to use that toilet. Yeah there's one toilet. Alright next time I'll shit on the floor. I thought it smelled like Matt's bar in that toilet. It was a situation. I smell like roses though. But I was sitting there and my phone was dead, because it's always dead. You're a mess.

I am a mess. You're such a mess. But I was reading all the graffiti on the walls, because I have to have something to do. And there was one that really caught my eye. I don't know if you guys noticed this. Somebody wrote, bone has a skinny cock. But then somebody crossed out skinny cock and wrote good heart. Was it Matthew?

Did Matthew cross it out? I have a lot of questions that I think we should discuss. One, why not cross out skinny and write like fat, thick, or elephant? Well, they didn't want to lie. Elephantine. Well, that's what I'm saying is because they wrote Good Heart, I feel like they were confirming.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Despite his skinny pencil-like cock. Wait, who was it? Who's he? He donates money to Children's Hospital. It's Bone. You're not paying attention.

It's Bone who has the skinny cock. It's a simple story. Pay attention. Is it the classic comics character, Bone? Yes, Jeff Smith's Bone.. It's Bone who has the skinny cock. It's a simple story. Pay attention. Is it the classic comics character Bone? Yes, Jeff Smith's Bone. Jeff Smith's Bone? I just figure it's a dude named Bone. Which is weird. If you call yourself Bone, you're overcompensating if you've got a little skinny fit. I really appreciate the nice graffiti in the bathroom. It's so Midwestern to be like, ah, ah uh uh, that's a nice guy. And it's like, New York graffiti, absolutely not.

We would never cross something mean out and write something nicer. It would be something devastating. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's a confirmation of the negative thing by saying something nice. That's how we do it here. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Are you Oh. Oh. Are you telling me those concession people were talking behind my back? Yes. Right, so like, I think this is what you're getting at. I think this is the Midwestern thing,

is they crossed out skinny cock and put good heart. When that took more effort than just writing doesn't have a skinny cock. So essentially you're saying, he has a skinny cock, but he also has a skinny cock. So essentially you're saying, he has a skinny cock, but he also has a good heart. What if it's skinny and like nine feet long? I think that's meaningless.

That's not bad, you can fold it up. If that were true, they would have written that. I know, that's what I'm saying, like just write elephant. Bone has a nine foot skinny cock. Nine foot skinny elephant cock. Carrot insert nine foot and a half. Kay, what do you think about all this cock talk? Welcome to cock talk!

I've just been reading the second book of A Court of Whatever, Thorin's and Rose's, or whatever the shit, and I've gotten to the part, chapter 54, whatever. So hearing more about cock. Ooh, chapter 54. Wait, hold 54, whatever. So like hearing more about comics. Oh, chapter 54. Wait, hold on. Is this like a romance novel

where there's like penetration every chapter? Yeah, sure. Really? Not every chapter. They build it up. Who likes reading those sexy books? Tasty. Wow.

Oh, we got the ladies in the house tonight. A lot of feminine shrieks. It's romantasy, Troy. It's romantasy. Yeah. Kate and I sat together on the flight here, and Katerieks. It's romantasy, Troy. It's romantasy. Kate and I sat together on the flight here and Kate... Listen. Audibly... So I realized I was getting to that moment that I've been waiting for. Audibly gasped.

Audibly went, it's happening. I can't read this on the flight. And then she took the book away. Why can't you read it on the flight? So I put it away and then I took out, I'm also reading extremely hardcore, Elon Musk taking over Twitter. And I was like, this will put me not in the mood anymore. This will turn her braid off.

So I started reading that for a while. And then I got tired and I was like, all right, I'll read it now. And then I read it and I was like, is it hot in here? Is it hot in this plane, Sydney? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, thank God. Now when you read this stuff, are you imagining yourself to be the woman in these situations as you read it?

Are you like, that's me. Personally, no. That's me getting plowed. Have you ever watched porn? No. Let me just close a couple tabs here. I finished my sound check earlier. There's a reason Troy's computer doesn't project to the screen.

You don't want to see this. I have a question. This brings up a question you guys could help me out with. This is a marital question. My wife is into Bridgerton. Not sure if any of the ladies in there... More feminine shrieks. So apparently very recently in Bridgerton there was a steamy scene. The carriage scene. A steamy carriage scene. So my wife is watching and she says to me, this is like in the early evening, and I'm We should get a carriage.

I'm still working. Babe, we should get a carriage. Babe, we should get a carriage. We should get a carriage. No reason. We've had a spark in our loveless marriage. No. She was like, she was like, I'm gonna watch an episode of British and I'm like,

I gotta work. So I'm in my office working just off the living room and I come out at one point and she's like, yeah, apparently at the end of this episode there is a steamy scene. And I'm like, oh, okay. And I go back in the office, I'm working for a little bit. And I come back out to like get a drink of water and my office door opens and she goes, nope, you cannot come out right now. And I was like, what?

She's like, go back in five minutes. And I went and I went back in and closed the door and I was like, what does that mean? So that is my question. Eric Mona, what does that mean? He's the sex spurt on the panel. Yes. Yeah, I think... Dear Eric.

Wow. Let's just put it... I don't think she needed an assist. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Certainly not from your skinny cock.

All nine feet of it. All nine feet of it. Look at that Midwestern tact. Lasso that carriage. I'll lasso that carriage and ride it straight into your... This is like so off the rails. How does this always happen now? This always happens.

I googled like hot things to read. And I got, here's 12 things every man loves to hear that will send him into a tailspin of desire One ready try this out on your man later. Okay, if we were alone right now, what would you do to me? You could say that right now because you're not alone You're on a stage here's the lights mmm, you, just looking at you in that outfit is making me wet. Wait. Did you ever say that to your spouse? This is so un-hot.

Anybody bring kids tonight? You were a stallion last night. I hear that all the time. Even when I'm not in town. It sounds like you're reading snippets from a romance novel. It just sounds like bad romance novel. Even the way you talk makes me horny. Fuck! That's what it says. Fuck! Exclamation point. Are you Adam Levine? What is the source? Is it AI generated?

I lost count of how many times you finished me last night. Were they playing Mortal Kombat? What's the source of this? Oh my God. It's called the internet. It's called the internet. And there's photos. Troy. I almost acquainted my parents tonight.

Thank God, thank God I didn't. Did anyone bring their parents tonight? Yeah. Oh yeah, oh my God. One God I didn't. Did anyone bring their parents tonight? Yeah. Oh yeah, oh my goodness. I met one guy who brought his mom. Yeah, as the Canadians would say, sorry. Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

It's been like this since Kansas City, I'm sorry. People bring their parents, it gets me so wet. So wet. Folks, this is a clean Midwestern town. There are churches on every block. Let's play some pretend, huh? All right. Yeah!

Oh! I got three ice cubes. It's gonna last me the entire night. It's an ice cube shortage in this one horse town. There was an ice cube shortage at the bar. We'll do a recap. I think this is gonna be the shortest recap ever. And my recap will be short because we've got a lot to do here in st. Paul and because the nation is so

strong in Minnesota I imagine all of you have seen all 90-something episodes of this show but here's the quick and dirty we all have the power to shape the world we're connected to the world we share to 30. shore boulevard west. The world is yours to create. Tickets at Cirque du Soleil dot com. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Has Tim's got a treat for you? Well actually a treat in a treat. Get ready for Tim's dream cookies now in three delicious flavors. Double stuffed Oreo, Caramel and Reese's minis. They're soft, chewy and baked fresh daily. Try one today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time.

Imagine you're in Ottawa strolling through artistic landscapes at the National Gallery of Canada. Oh. Then cycling past Parliament Hill. Ah. Before unwinding on an outdoor patio. Oh. Then spending an evening on a cruise along the historic Rideau Canal. Exploration awaits in Ottawa from O to A. Plan your Ottawa itinerary at OttawaTourism.ca. A man, a man named Count Hazerton Lows is trying to find a

book called the Necronomicon. That guy's had enough. I know the recap. He's the guy who turns off the episode right after the band. Like my dad. Oh, that's Sharkey. Yeah, definitely. Sharkey's heart is a rock. Yeah, he's like, I gotta go to the bathroom. I gotta go to the bathroom. This recap's gonna take an hour and a half. Yeah. All right, named count has written laughs

This is nicknamed bone by any chance anybody call sharky bone bone louse louse He does have a good heart. All right Sharky or the count sharky. I mean shit bone shut your mouth as his friends count louse Sharky, I mean, boom. Shut your mouth. As his friends. Count Lyle's trying to find a book called The Necronomicon. The Necronomicon. In this horrible tome is supposedly the location of a hidden city where there are

monuments that Lyle's can use to open up a portal for a great alien entity known as Jamin D'or to come here and presumably lay waste to the entire world. In his search for this knowledge, Lows and his friend, an alchemist by the name of Mayakne and Munn, drug to some of his new employees and sacrifice their memories in another dimension, the dimension of dreams. At least three of those people are still alive. Joe's character, Skid's character, and Eric Mona's character. And they have enlisted the help of others along the way

to try and track down and stop Lyle's. They have followed him all the way to the nation of Kadira, where Lyle's and Munn bribed their way into a library of the occult called the Mysterium, where the Necronomicon is said to lie. Once they got inside, they delved deeper than they were supposed to, and set off the various protections of the building,

which have somehow been bastardized by either something Laos did, or perhaps by Laos' mere presence alone, as he is infected by this Xamandor. The leader of the Guardians of the Mysterium, Elder Lethene, went in with a team of Nathissians to try and apprehend Laos and his crew, and they never returned.

Our heroes have been allowed to go in with the promise that you will retrieve Elder Lethene, even if it's just his body. On each floor, you've been told, there are four angel statues. If you turn their heads to face the walls that they're standing against, a passageway will lead down to the next level.

Two days ago in Vancouver, you descended from the university level to the arcana level to find hallways full of dead bodies. You discover a barricaded room where the barricade had been destroyed, the room trash and bodies of the nethysians everywhere so awesome it's like it's like aliens it's like lv4 to 6 you get there something already happened we're moving through the air you can hear the motion sensor what yeah

and a big fucking ghost comes out and and then it kills and it hurts you just like alien yes a wraith a wraith Wraith came out of the wall with its spectral hand reaching through infecting some of you with the drain condition. Just ignore her. Just like aliens. A monster, a threatening thing. Yes. Thank you.

The bodies of these Nathissians look as if they've been infected by something. You're a new companion, a local priest named Father Richard Bubbles. He told you that none of those bodies were Elder Luthien. You then approached an angel statue at the end of another hallway where more bodies lie. You try to turn the head, but it turns back. You try again, it turns back. Then you hear these sloshing

sounds from the south and see two tangled masses of roiling flesh and organs and mouths oozing their way toward you. Before we get back to that, I'd like to take you back to a time before all of this. Join me if you will. Are we getting in? In the imagination. I always hear the mash theme when the imagination copter comes out. Taken back to the Korean War. We almost lost skid during that war. Our friend Skid who bravely fought in the Korean War.

No, I did not fight in Korea. I was too old to be drafted. We're hopping in the copter. We see skin fighting Koreans. I don't know what that is. We see an old skin fighting Koreans. It's like fisticuffs. I shot a lot of people in Korea, but this was in the late 90s. Jesus.

What? I was trying to get a visa and they were being very uncooperative. You just need to fight your way out of the visa office. I suppose you're saying this into a microphone because of some statute of limitations you're aware of. It's well expired. The Imagination Copter. I can't even talk. The Imagination Copter, I can't even talk. The Imagination Optor. The thing, the Huey, flies over the Mysterium.

We see the Mysterium once more, and we see from above a group of men and women armed and armored, all bearing the insignia of Nethus, emblazoned across their clothing, walking with determination toward the Mysterium. There's another group of guards, guardians, standing outside, and as this other group approaches they all stand at attention. An older man steps forward from the approaching group and is greeted by one of the guards

standing outside the Mysterium. And he says, Elder Lothien,, please let us go in your place. We can root out these interlopers and bring them to justice. And the old man just puts up a hand to quiet the young guard. He's like, no, this is my mess. I knew something was off with this louse the second I met him, but we were all beguiled by his generous donation. The council may have voted on this,

but it happened under my watch. I will go in and bring back Lyle's, his associate, Mon, and the locals they brought with them. We outnumber them two to one. It shouldn't be a problem. What is this music? It's awesome. This is fucking, this is Cathyr music, bro.

I love it. I don't like it. Adelthine. Sorry, Dad. Okay, yeah, alright. Turn off that music! Get on my lawn! Can't you play Huey Lewis or something?

I would love Huey Lewis. What are you gonna do with your life? We outnumbered them two to one, it shouldn't be a problem. And the guy's like, but Elder, we have heard sounds within. Something is very wrong inside the Mysterium. And Elder Lathine steps up to the door, approaches, puts his ear to it, and we hear howling and growls

and the sounds of distant screams. Luthien turns to our men, or his men, not our men, and he says, it is our duty as Nathissians to protect the Mysterium and its contents. A day will come when we will all turn to dust and others will take our place and so forth until the end of time. For the knowledge and secrets that lie within are not to be trifled with. May the mad god Nethus protect us in our hour of need. And he reaches into his breast pocket and he pulls out a picture.

This is the man we are looking for. And he holds up a picture of Wiles. Count Hazerton Lyle's the fourth. If he or any of his associates resist, then let this be their last day alive. The men look fired up by this speech, but then we hear a strange voice pipe up from nearby. I'm sorry, did you say Count Hazerton Laws IV? Woo! I know him!

They all turn and are like, Jesus. There's this filthy gnome standing there, looking at them. And Elder Lothian is like, what? You know, louse, who are you? You see this gnome and he's got a dirty outfit, but he's got these like streamers of red and yellow and orange coming off him like some sort of entertainer. And he's got this like hair that stands straight up like the wick of flame of red and yellow and orange and he's he kind of puts his thumbs in his little suspenders and he says my name is Ferbel Haas I used to work for lolz long ago but he stole my memories and locked me in an asylum. I was once Ferbil Hoss, but now I am known as Tiny Murder Clown.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Because murder is what I do best. Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! I steal souls. I steal souls. I steal souls. I steal souls. I steal souls. I steal souls. I steal souls.

I steal souls. I steal souls. I steal souls. I steal souls. I steal souls. I steal souls. I see. What may I ask brought you here to the Mysterium? I'm so glad you asked, for that is a tale long in the telling. Several nights ago I dreamt of this place but it was different I watched as yellow maggots crawled from the cracks and crevices and the stones and a voice it whispered to me to come here and remove the stain oh please, please let me come with you. I know this, this Count Laws and he knows me. He may have wronged you, but his soul belongs to me.

Woo! All right, young crazy man. Perhaps Nethus himself, in his great madness, sent you to aid us in our task. You may join us." He nods to the four guards standing outside the Mysterium. They begin removing the iron bars, barring the entry into the building. And Elder Lothine, the rest of the Nathissians and tiny murder clown rush in. The last thing we see are the faces of the rear guard, a young man perhaps and a young woman entering with a heady mix of fear and determination on their faces. And from there we now are on the arcana level, the second level below the ground here of

the Mysterium, and we see that man and that woman, their bodies lying on the ground of this hallway where our heroes stand. Torchlight flickering off their corpses shadows of the heroes moving about and these Abominations coming from the southern portion of the hallway everyone rolls perception check Skid would you get? 27 for Eldar 7 keep? Keep going down the line, Matthew? 39. Oh my gosh.

Hells to the yeah. 32. Okay. Joe? Big thank you to Amanda who gave me a die full of shamrocks that just rolled a natty 15! Let's go! Nice! 33. full of shamrocks that just rolled a natty 15! Let's go! Nice! 33. Wait, I wasn't listening to anyone. Aldo, what'd you get?

Wow. You have one thing to do as GM. Sorry. What were you doing? It was still a weird tab open. Oh, I got distracted. Sorry, just finishing up this short independent film. I got a 27. 27. Mathew? 39. 39 for Mathew. And Urs? 32. 32. Joseph Q. O'Brien?

I don't remember. You said 35, right? You rolled a natural 15. 33 little Larry Bird little Larry okay and sukes Magoog's 29 29 for sukey all right all of you while you're seeing these things come arriving toward you hear a sound to the north as well and immediately begin to panic that now you're gonna have to fight a battle on two fronts. You turn towards that noise while also keeping an eye on these beasts coming towards you

and you see a small stone being pushed out of the wall. The sound of stone like grating on stone, it just goes blop blop and a colorful little body slides out Tiny murder Ethel has never seen him before and buries his hatchet No, he comes in like a cartwheel My old friends my oldest friends. Over here. Oh hi. Over here.

Iris, hi. Hey. So great to see you again. We know this guy? Yes. Atticus, oh hi Atticus. It's your old friend, verbal huss. Oh there's no internet.

Oh. He says to tiny murder clown. My friend, Verbal Huss! Oh, there's no internet! He says to Tiny Murder Club. I was trying to see a picture of you, but there's no internet at all. Tiny Murder Club! Hi! It is so good to see you. You have no idea how good it is to see you. Oh, I don't remember. Yes, we met. Yes, there's a big tree with heads on it. Oh

It was great. Remember you yeah, we had a great time together. You're you're here. I'm here Right, and so are you Aldo? I? Missed you most of all To me, please No, no, we got a hug you most of all. Don't come close to me please. Hugs, hugs. No. We gotta hug cuddlings. Don't touch me. I will say though that this is the happiest I've ever been to see you which is a low bar. I'm so honored. I don't quite understand why you're here but I think we might need your help. It's all easily explainable. I've been having the most peculiar dreams. Should I kill him now? No, no, no! Just look at him.

Friend! How could you hate this face? Look how cute he is! How could you kill a thing like that? Of course, throughout all of this, tiny murder clown, two things happen. One, you see a couple beasts coming towards you oh shit and two you see this man

how did I forget how did I forget how did I forget he's so handsome yes not another one, no. You can't also be in love with him. Oh my gosh. I know there's a lot going on right now, but I'm Father Bubbles. And you need to roll for initiative. I need to say something behind the scenes.

Roll and roll and roll and roll and roll and roll. The conversation we had about two minutes ago. Yes. I need to say something. We never told Eric Mona anything about Father Bubbles by design. We were like, the tiny murder clown doesn't know Father Bubbles, let him meet Father Bubbles on stage. And he was literally like, you're so handsome. Like that was not a pre-planned bit.

It was his natural reaction. God, that son of a pre-planned bit. It was his natural reaction. God, that son of a bitch is handsome. Yeah. Unfortunately, what's not handsome are these two creatures. Oh! Oh, no. Oh, my god, says Bubbles.

What did you get? I also got a 33. A 30. Noice. Three. Yes. Let's get into it. Okay?

I'm going to begin the encounter, and oddly enough, Ethel, you go first. That sound was the sound of Dick Bubbles' initiative. Jesus. Okay, just, we're quite a distance away from these guys. You are indeed. It's very spread out here on this awesome map by old Davey Maps. Davey Maps.

Davey Maps. And of course, love Davey Maps. The switch to Foundry VTT. Oh yeah, oh yeah. So first things first, before my turn, I get a free attempt to demoralize with my battle cry. Again, I understand you get that, but I think it's stupid that you're trying

to demoralize that. You know, we get I we get some also caught constructive con criticism online for not playing tactically in to we just like to hold this up as an ex as exhibit a as to why we don't do things like demoralize. All right, try to demoralize this tentacle mass of mouths and organs. I do not demoralize this tentacle mass of mouths and organs. I do not demoralize it Okay, I am however going to hold ah Oh, he chooses to delay way old delay very wait. Can you do that? Delay well you already know yeah

When you roll initiative is a free is a free attempt to demoralize when I roll initiative, okay? All right Yeah, I'm going to delay. I'm gonna say wait until you see the whites of their eyes all of them It's a weird thing to say It was a historical reference Crystal Pepsi is some reason in the vanguard here Crystal Pepsi is for some reason in the vanguard here. Crystal Pepsi's so strong.

All right, this thing is going to move twice. This first one here is going to move, or it's not. It's going to move right up to the fuck move! Foundry, VTT. All right, so it's going gonna double move up to Suki. And Pepsi is gonna do one of these like, comes up. A little crying mouths. And with its final action, one of these like tentacle pseudopods comes out and just wham! Comes down on you.

And that is going to be a 33 to hit. On me or on Pepsi? On you. Okay, that hits. The woman. That's not pointed, isn't it? I do that when I'm adding. Even if it's very low.

30 points of bludgeoning damage. I do that when I'm adding. Oh! Even if it's very low. 30 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh! Oh! Boom! I do that when I get hit. Oh! I've called in the initiative Gross Slimey Shit 1.

Gross Slimey Shit 1 nails Suki, but thankfully, it is Tiny Murder Clown's turn. Tiny Murder Clown. Ethel will act. Oh! How convenient. How convenient! It is tiny murder clowns turn time or at the will act Yes, that that's exactly why I'm going as it will stride up to flank with suki And I will double slice green is the war hammer

Okay, that will be so against your guard, and that is going to be a 38 with the Warhammer, and a 31 with the Hatchet. That's two hits. Yeah! In fact, the 38 is a crit. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

It's an ace card. It can't be crit. Oh. Aw. Now do you feel bad? It's an amazing start. It can't be Crip. Oh. Now do you feel bad? Oh, oh, like I made up the rules! Don't do that, he likes when you boo him. You're booing Eric Mona's game.

He made it. Poor Mona. Every word of it. He's sitting at home sweating over a typewriter, crafting every aspect of his game. What is a role playing game? What is a role playing game? Okay, from the Warhammer, because it can't be crit, 27 points of bludgeoning and one point of cold.

That's ice cold. Let's see, cold, huh? You're as cold as ice! The cold doesn't seem to do anything you said 31 of the other one 27 27 okay no 31 stop you can't do man oh no Sydney's doing man no I know. I stopped it, but they finished it. I only did the, Gotta love St. Paul. I love you, St. Paul. Thank you.

Okay, and then, Oh, what's that? St. Paul's Scent! St. Paul's Scent! Thank you. St. Paul's Scent! Thank you, guys. We're at 22 points of slashing from the hatchet.

Tacoma, Troy. One of these days. of slashing from the hatchet. Tacoma, Troy. One of these days. Twenty two slashing, huh? Yeah. Nice. Nice. Good round. Anything else? That's it. So sadly, I can't flinch because I took an action to move. And a rare twist of fate. Matthew Hitson doesn't die.

And now it's Tiny Murder Clown's turn. There you go. Nice. Troy, I'm having a hard time finding where Tiny Murder Clown is on the map. He is to the north. To the north. The clown to the north!

Yeah, if you, can you see it here? Yeah, that'll help. Yeah, there he is. Really zoom in on it. He's so small! I see it now. And the other, where's the other? That art, I believe, is from

Twin City's own Angeline Babcock. In the audience tonight! All of this art! From Angeline. Angeline! All right, so if you can't move him for any reason, we'll just stop the show until we can figure this out. That sounds great. No, you can just tell me. You're, you know, as the crow flies to that one that they just surrounded, you're 40 feet.

I don't know how far your little hungry ghost can move. I am going to... I can go 45 feet, so... Okay, nobody likes a braggart, so we'll get you up there. Yeah, why don't you bring me up to him? And I'll say no it's been so long Maybe you all forgot that I can do this and then I'm gonna attack twice nice Wow well then First one is a 33

What's with the reason second one is second one is very bad, 18. Okay. And you are off guard because of Pepsi. True. That is true. Oh yeah. You flanked. 33's a hit.

You flanked. You flanked. So then 18's a miss. Okay, figured, all right. So I do, ooh gosh, all right. I do 36, but I do 42 points of bludgeoning damage. Holy shit! Oh my god, wow.

I don't wanna question the publisher of the Pathfinder role-playing app. But I think you're lying about it. Are you sure? Well, I did. I mean, he's level 11 now. I am going, yeah, I rolled, that's maximum damage. Yeah!

Wow. Wow. See, that's how you play a monk. I wanna be a level 11 monk. Yeah. You'll get there. All right, this thing is fucked up. Ha ha ha ha! I, with all due respect, I don't wanna eat your soul,

you gross thing. I don't even have one. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Do you have another attack, or you? No, that was it, I missed the bang bang. Yeah. All right. Wow. Pretty good round here. It's hot up on stage.

I'm actually physically. It is literally hot up on stage. Very hot. I feel great. I think there's a vent. I can feel cool air blowing. I feel great. Yeah, I like this event goes this way.

Yeah, I can hear it too. I was worried about the sound. I was like, I can hear air blowing. It is probably blowing in the mic, but I feel great cool vent for the lead singer Atticus you're up shut up. All right No Atticus not doing anything interesting in this moment All right Atticus is going to Yeah, I mean they're surrounding this thing. So he is going to move...

You can't even see the other one. I can't even see the other one, you're absolutely right. So Atticus is going to move into the fight. He's just going to step up to... just behind Eris. Okay. Oh boy, I'm moving everyone on the map. Okay, sorry. He's going to move up behind Eris, and he is going to reach out his hands and just And he does this incantation and he rips like pieces of the base of the statue off of it just And they shoot across at this thing with a telekinetic projectile. Yeah, I will attempt to hit it with this

Amazing die here. We go st. Paul. I need everybody to be quiet for a second. Shut up. Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. I got a phenomenal die pre-show and I can't remember the name of the woman who gave it to me. Scream out your name, the rat die. Caitlin!

England? Her name is England? Her name is England? Caitlin! Not where you're from. I'm sorry I forgot your name, this die is phenomenal, she gave me a die. Shout out your country of origin and let me roll this die. Kaitlyn, shout out your country of origin! Australia! We've got some Australians in the audience today.

You guys are over there, yay! I think they're lying, but there's two Australians said they flew here just to see us. I don't believe that. Who would do that? I don't believe that at all, but that's fucking awesome. They probably really flew here to see St. I don't believe that. Who would believe that at all? But that's fucking awesome. They probably really flew here to see St. Paul. I thought you were going to say Sydney, and I was like, true? I think that's pretty great. Anyway, this is just phenomenal. I have to shout it out. It is a rat swarm die holder

and a die where the D, where the 20 on it is a rat. Come on. Have you ever seen a more Atticus die? Let's go telekinetic telekinetic chunks of the statue firing across 90 18. I love the new Atticus die. That should be that is a 39 to hit. If this could be crit, that would be a crit. If this could be crit, that would be a crit. And, let me just get damage, I apologize.

Okay, so a little telekinetic projectile. Telekinetic projectile, Midland damage, 20 points of damage. Okay. Of bludge. 20 points of damage okay a bludge 20 points of blood This thing is in a bad place Is are you done with your turn I am done with my turn good turn good turn everybody Aris what do you got over there? I have a question is no one doing a knowledge check because you guys already know what this is

And you're cheating or because you guys already know what this is and you're cheating or? No, I have no idea what it is, but honestly I saw them like hurting it and him saying it's looking bad And so I was just like I'm just gonna try to keep hitting it like a with rocks I was gonna do a knowledge check on my turn, but I don't know much of anything about this Yeah, he can't do anything, so but it seems like bludgeoning and piercing damage are going through full Yes, yes can't do anything. But it seems like bludgeoning and piercing damage are going through full? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Well in that case, I'm going to... I started moving the snake as well. It's kind of like, I'm going to start... It was like the perfect tone. I want to try to hit the one that is further away. Oh, you wily cretins. So that means.

How far away is that one? That one is 50. Oh, OK, so you move up to the dead body. Yep. And now I'm 30 feet away, and I'm going to cast Phase Bolt at this. Ooh. Little phase bolt, huh?

A little phase bolt. All right, is that of an attack role associated with it? Yes all right Crit be but you hit kill it Sadly that will be a regular Oh, that's right That's a hit though. Would you give her exploding dice? Exploding dice. Would I give her exploding dice?

No. Or maybe a bottle cap? For rolling a 20? Yeah, you took them all last session. You do not earn them by rolling dice. All right, whatever. That's exactly how we earn them. You earn them by capturing both my heart and my mind.

Regular ass damage is going to be 23 points of damage. 23 points of damage? Look at this party coming out of nowhere! I don't get to double it or anything? No, no, stop it. Stop doing that. Do you have anything else you can do? No. You moved and then you double jaund it?

Yep, that was all my actions. It's Suki's turn. I feel like I haven't made fun of you enough today. I agree. I was thinking the same exact thing. So you were nice for once and now you regret it? Yes. Okay. Did you do anything dumb? I'm trying to remember. Did I do anything dumb? Actually...

You're always doing something dumb. I got a really nice massage today. Yes. I... You're welcome no no not from you I'm gonna shout out a local place I went to it was Miss Vicky on cedar and fourth she fucking rocked she runs a massage she's a massage therapist she runs it out of her house and she was so chill and nice. So if anybody in St. Paul needs a massage, go to Miss Vicki. She rocks. I'm gonna respectfully disagree. I'm sure she's very nice but Sydney showed us what she did to her on her back and it looks like she hit her with a baseball

bat multiple times. It looks like Sydney was attacked in a house in St. Paul. She doesn't know really what it looks like. She got cupping. I got a massage and I also got cupping, if you guys know. It's like similar to acupuncture, you do the cupping. I showed the guys, Joe's never seen cupping before. And I was like, Jesus Christ! He went, holy shit! It looks like she got attacked by an octopus. It looks like a Cthulhu monster hurt me like very badly It's very polka dot. It's very polka dot. Yeah, and she praised your cleanliness

And also said she does not do happy endings Sydney asked Right, so what's the policy on? finishing I did not but she did compliment my hair. She said your hair is so healthy and so clean, and you look so clean. And I was like, what kind of clientele do you get in St. Paul?

Vagrants off the street. I got a crick in my neck. She was like, I can tell you're not from here. I'm like, is it because I'm clean? I don't understand. You don't smell of two patties and cheese. That's fair. Can I play my character? You didn't get to the dumb part. What's the dumb part? You got a massage and she was like, don't look at the time. Oh, this is why you

should go there. I got a massage. It was like an hour long, whatever. Supposed to be done at like 1230. Is this an hour long, whatever. It's supposed to be done at like 12.30. Is this a Yelp review? Yes. It's supposed to be done at 12.30. I'm so relaxed. She's like, don't look at the time. I'll see you outside when you pay.

And I was like, okay. And I go and I check my phone. It's 1.30. She gave me like an extra time because she just likes chatting. Because you were so clean. Yeah, I was so clean. I've never felt such a clean clean. I was so clean. I've never felt such a clean body.

I was late to our lunch and then everybody made fun of me because my back looked like I got beat up. And I walked in and I was like, sorry I'm late. I'm just like very relaxed. And they were like, are you okay? Looks like you fell down a flight of stairs. I'm so relaxed I just lost consciousness. I'm blacked out. Anyway, can I play my character?

Yes, but that story was two actions. You have one left. Ha ha ha ha! Damn it! Okay, so two action John, I am going to cast Hydraulic Push at... Sydney, you're better than that. It warms Joe's heart whenever someone uses John. Oh, I love saying John.

I love it so much. I'm going to cast... And I thought Matthew was saying you're better than casting hydraulic push I'm casting hydraulic push at the creature to the south the further creature Oh, I didn't realize we could see the further John he can you can probably now see it's in like the darkness Yeah, very dim. He's got low light, so she's gonna, two action John, I'm gonna roll. Okay. Just double checking they don't have an attack of opportunity. 23? 23, no. Thank you for these beautiful dice. They're so gorgeous and full of flowers and gold and I rolled like absolute crap. Sorry about that. Thank for the dice though

I do love them. All right, so then my third action that spell is wasted. Nothing happens I missed and I'm gonna command Pepsi and Pepsi is going to bite the creature that it's flanking. So you're off guard Wow okay boy boy get it bite me that's gonna be a 38 38 yep. Holy shit. That's gonna be a 38. 38? Yep. Holy shit, that's a hit. Thank you.

Hepsi. Yeah. Well, roll damage. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I got excited. She literally put both her elbows on the table and just smiled at Troy.

Mission accomplished. Mission accomplished. I rolled really low. That's only- Good night, everyone. That's eight piercing. Eight piercing. That's a night everyone. That's eight piercing. Eight piercing. And that's my turn. Is it dead? No. Okay. No your snake did not kill the Cthulian creature. It is Aldo's turn. That other one still has not had a chance to go. All right Aldo is going to well, first he's going to do he's going to do a knowledge

check with occultism. Yeah, I like that applicable here. It looks occulty on worst run of 25. It's pretty good. That's pretty good. It's not great. He knows stuff. He knows stuff. He has studied the occult. Where do you think your occult knowledge comes from? Were you reading actual Lovecraft in Australia? Yeah, yeah, I think so. That's really meta when you think about it. No, no, I think so.

Because he did read a bunch of that early Lovecraft and Lovecraftian inspiration kind of literature before he warped into Galarian. Okay, this is really interesting. So only you would know this. They resemble sort of drawings or etchings that you've seen in Lovecraft's actual works of Shagoths. Oh wow. Classic. Lovecraftian creatures. However these are not quite full shagoths. What did we fight in? Didn't we fight a shagoth? I'm talking to Skid right now. Let me just finish this.

I'm having with my friend Skid. And we'll talk about your life. I lost my train. That's all you learned. friend skid, and we'll talk about your life. I lost my train. That's all you learn. OK. Didn't we fight a Shagoth? I don't know if you did, but they're not really Shagoths.

They're actually known as proto-Shagoths. There's lots of rumors of how they came to be. Shagoth Squires. Shagoth Squires. Yeah. May I carry your horrible mouth sir remember the elder things you fought yeah down like under the under the man the man dimension yeah you were in Iris Hill I was so yeah there's rumors that like the

elder things created these proto shagoths they crafted them maybe to try to mimic actual shagoths, you're not quite sure. So they have similar characteristics to full-on shagoths, but full-on shagoths are like CR 18 creatures. These are, you know, lesser versions of them. But to give you one actual helpful piece of information, they are immune to crits. My God, you know what and you know what I got sometimes exhibit be yeah why we're it's hard to do things like recall knowledge checks like play tactically is because we never get any useful

information about how and cold they're immune to cold. Okay, that's good. We knew that we knew that already as well. We did know that already. I just want to say, sometimes you just gotta say it. I like your style, man. That was good. I liked it. Sometimes you don't have to. All right.

So I was Aldo with his second action is going to step up to get a clear view on this thing. Okay. And with his third action, he's going to throw a medium alchemist fire. Bomb. At it. Okay. At the one in the far away...

The one closer to me. The one closer to me. Okay. Great. Uh, that's pretty good. That is a 34 to hit. That's a hit, man. Nice.

Yeah, I mean, we can be pretty sure their AC is around 28, 27. 28. Yeah, in that range. OK, not that great. That is 17 points of fire damage, and it is on fire. Nice. Yikes.

All right, so 17 points of fire damage, so it's fire. Nice. Yikes. Nice. All right, so there's 17 points of fire damage, so it's gonna take persistent fire basically? Yes. Ooh, give me that boundary persistent, John! All right, give me 45 minutes because I don't have my glasses. Why don't you have your glasses?

I don't need them. Are you embarrassed to be seen with them? Because I don't need them. I don't need them. I think you do. I don't need them, Sidney. That them. I don't need them, Sydney. That's the most ridiculous. No, I think you do.

How are you doing over there, Grandpa? Persistent. How much persistent? Two points. Two, yeah. Two, persistent. My father claims to have cured his myopia. Yeah.

What? Yeah. He used to wear contact glasses, and now he just announced while he was driving with me in the passenger seat one day He was like I don't need to wear my contacts or my glasses anymore. I feel the same way the only time I can't see is driving at night After a couple drinks Don't drink it All right, what's going on? You done? You got more?

No, that was it, because I did the knowledge check, I moved, and threw the bomb. It's gross slimy shit 2's turn. Gross. Madam. All right. Fuck this. Oh, let's slide up. Are you taking it down? Coming up to Ers. Ers, you're the closest one. I don't want to do this. I don't want to hurt you. You're a kind person. She's not. She's got a good heart.

She does not. She does not have a skinny cockhole. Nice, Sid. You have two options. You either have. Er done, Sidney. Eris has a skinny cock. Two types of people in this world. Eris has a skinny cock.

There's the title of this camp. People are like, what the hell happened in St. Paul? Well, they get off the smut tree. The show is smutty. All right, Pseudo Pod to the face. Yes. 29 to hit. That's a hit. Is this a melee strike?

Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. Okay, well when you're done, let me know. I like your tune. Ooh. God, love the case, sass. The tune. Don't ever talk to me like that in public. I won't turn this show around.

Yeah. 26 points of bludgeoning damage. All right, all right, let me like that in public. I won't turn this show around. 26 points of bludgeoning damage. Alright, alright, let me do that. What do you got after that? Can you please roll a fortitude save? Because as you strike me, you see the wound that you created on me yawn open. My gaping flesh might make you a little sick. Oh my god, is might make you a little sick. Oh my God. Is it hot in here?

What was that? Ethel starts to sweat. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! So our fortitude save?

Fortitude. I'll roll it. OK. Pretty nice. Good. Thanks. Welcome back. All right.

37. Damn it. You passed. Yeah. All right. 37. Damn it, you passed. Yeah. All right. Okay. You're not sickened. Final action grabs you. Oh.

And starts squeezing the life out of you. Uh-oh. And now to end out the round, it's Father Dick Bubbles turn. Woo! By the eyes of Nethus, what is going on here? What are these abominations from hell? Is everyone all right? Aldor, Atticus? Yes.

I have poor vision. Father! Stay back, Father. Don't speak. Father! Yes. Be silent and actionless All right, I Will be here to provide one to three points of healing should anyone need it that is good to know You're so useless the heat from that torch light is unbearable

Barable down here. Oh no. Oh! There we go. I'll be here if you need me. Round two. It is gross, slimy shit. But the thing is, is like his abdomen is so fucked up. Yeah.

It's AI generated. The AI generated. He's clearly seeking medical help. Yeah. Pulling his shirt open like that. That shirt being open is a cry for help You need to help me. Oh, yeah Here this area right here. Oh This right here looks like something's medically wrong. That's that's fucking aliens

Yeah, how does he I think we were to see more we'd see here. It has like seven and a half abs It's like when they do open surgery and they like put all the organs back in and you can put them in any way because they'll readjust eventually when you stitch it all up. What? Is that a thing? Yes. You just stuff that shit back in and stitch it up. What do you think happens in the cesarean section?

This is him during the surgery. It's just kind of all fucked up and it hasn't regotten to where it needs to go You know I'm very sensitive about my parents And I can hear every word you're saying over there. We're all talking about you. Yeah Quiet you ugly man. How dare you? It is gross slimy shit one's turn He is surrounded by three heroes and an animal companion, So I will attack one of the heroes. So many images of Dick Bubbles, I have to close. It's like.

One, two, Suki. Three, four, clown. Five, six, Ethel. And of course, it is a six. Oh. Ethel, you're going down. Nice. No, that's perfect.

No. He's the person you wanna hit. He's the best. All right. Is that all I am to you the person you want to hit? Bah, that's what you're paid for you're paid to take hits 36 to hit that hits a Couple things are gonna happen are they first thing that's gonna happen is a shit ton of damage. Oh You see Sydney you just do that when you can't add up.

I see. I understand. 30 points of bludgeoning. Second action, grabs you. Third and final action, It constricts you. Give me a... I think you give a save on a constrict to half the damage. Anybody know what's at the top of their head? No, I don't know the base of constrict. Talking to the audience. Yeah, what is it? Is it like a fort saved or... Nobody said anything. It's a fortitude save.

Eric? You're welcome. I saved you, not the crowd. Give me a fortitude save. I did it. I did it I searched for constrict without putting pathfinder. Yep it didn't Basic didn't work out well basic fortitude and I opened images and I went yes It's a basic fortitude save which means Ethel is gonna crush this. I found doesn't matter found your turn is useless 29

Fail. Oh Success. So success. Oh, right right oh cuz you got that yeah The best wait wait wait wait wait it's only successes that become critics Liar you take 16 points more damage bludgeoning as it just like buffets you with all its tentacles and mouths. Uhhhhhhhhh. And then you feel... I feel trapped. You not only feel trapped, you feel...

Like in a marriage. Right. You feel it's like... I used to find joy in this. I wish I could find the joy again. Is he done ripping? You feel its wet skin rub against yours. Give me another four to two to say. Okay, 35.

You're all right, but you are still grabbed. That's a crit success then I know okay Yeah, you are not infected by whatever this is crawling on your skin. You are still grabbed by this thing Yeah, ooh And it is now your turn Stop doing that You can try to escape Or you can attack with the penalties that you get from being grabbed. Yeah, I'm just gonna double slice on this guy. Okay. Let's read grab though. Make sure you can do everything you want to do there.

Mr. Incah, you're held in place, you're off guard, and have immobilized conditions. If you attempt to manipulate action while grabbed, DC5 flat check. Okay, your weapons are already out so they're not technically a manipulation double slice here we go yeah you're the best to get grabbed you can just hack away okay 35 on the warhammer and 41 bombs away two BOMBS AWAY, two hits. Oh! Oh! Oh! 24 points of bludgeoning, the cold is null, cause there's no... And then, let's do some

hatchet damage here. Hatchy! Oh, okay! That'll be 18 points of slashing from the hatchet. And you kill it. Yeah! Ethel! The hard work we've been putting in for years.

Yeah! Sweat and tears. Okay. You still have actions. Tom is finally caught. You are no longer grabbed. Yes. Nice striking, Ethel!

Was that Father Dick? It was still Father Dick, right? Thank you. Thank you father dick Yeah, I they brought up some memories that I'm going to have to discuss with you later. Yes, we will have confession at bedtime Okay, and then Ethel will He will step. No, you know what he will, he will step. No, you know what? He will stride to flank the other baby Shagoth with Aeris. Look at him go.

I love it when you stride. I love it when I flank. I love it when you stride. It's just being choked. I got that. I'm coming. Aeris, I'm coming. Oh God.

Oh wait. Oh no. You, that, you. Oh, God. Oh, wait. Oh, no. Stop it. You all have... I thought you were polite midwesters, but no. I'm always going to leave. I see you. I see you. There is... It's amazing tonight, this audience.

The amount of women in this audience is amazing. Yes. Yeah. They're taking over. Yes. amazing. They're taking over! And the screams at this smut is just, it's giving me such joy. Such joy. It's giving you such joy and you're so uncomfortable. Yes, I want to leave immediately. I want to dig deeper and make this the show now. Kate's so excited. Yeah. All right.

What do you do with your quivering body? Do you have any actions left? This is what it's like now, Eric. This is what it's like. I think it's pretty cool. Eric's in. Blessings on board, Eric. See?

Eric likes pornography. That's a piezo endorsement right there. Yep, alright. Alright, alright. No, that was three actions. That was three actions. One sexier than the next. It is Tiny Murder Clown's turn.

Tiny Murder Crown, this proto-shagoth that was standing in front of you has started to crumple to the ground. It's like twitching, its mouth screaming as it falls there is one enemy left. I'm gonna hug the wall and go right up adjacent to the proto Shugoth okay and I'm gonna punch him twice yeah right there next to it right there correct right there for our audio audience because somebody stole my flank Anyway, sorry no, that's okay. It's we got we're in a little bit of a situation here. Yeah, whatever whoever you are I'll explain so I Go down there the first attack is a 26 and the second attacks at 33. Those are two hits

26 and the second attacks at 33. Those are two hits. Oh good. Phenomenal. Oh hell yeah. You're not gonna love this. I do 24 damage each, so total of 48. Oh! Oh my!

And that all comes at once because of the- It's a Flurry of Blows, so yeah, it actually all comes at once. In case he's got any kind of damage reduction. Ba-boom! Just lays into this thing. Wah! It screams. Any actions left? kind of damage reduction. BABOOM! Just lays into this thing. WRAAAA! It screams.

Any actions left? Yes, because that flurries one action, even though it's two attacks. So I hit again, but probably miss. It's a 19. The 19 does miss. Do you stunning fist him? Not that time. The damage is done.

And it is Atticus the Rat's turn! Oh yes. So I'm thinking not so much. Oh wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Yeah, you could try to stun the creature it needs to make a fortitude save or be stunned one Okay What traits does stunning fist have? Oh boy? It's got all kinds because I have all kinds of feats so it counts as metal it counts as magic it counts as lethal and it counts as

some kind of energy, but I can't remember. Sorry I asked. I rolled a 40 on the fortitude. Okay, well, anyway, enjoy the damage, you asshole. Atticus, it is your turn. Atticus is changing his approach here, not so much trying to destroy the creature with blunt force trauma, as so much trying to destroy the creature with

blunt force trauma, as much as trying to prevent his allies from being harmed by this slick, slimy, goo-ish grab that it is doing. And so he does this strange incantation reaching out at the creature. He hasn't done this before, I don't believe. And he says these few words and then things get very strange in the vicinity of the creature. As it's moving it seems to like, the creature seems to almost skip frames or something and it, around it, time dilates in a strange way. I need...

an unnamed saving thing. What? Is that in the remaster? Yes, it's an untyped saving throw. You just roll a d20 and I tell you what I feel like. What is it? It sounds fortitude. Fortitude, fortitude.

Sorry. You mean that six save. All right. Thirty five. Thirty five. All right. The target is slowed one for one round. Nice. For one minute?

So, and so yeah, on its next turn it'll only have two actions, so hopefully we can avoid that constrict. All right, a little slowed one. That sucks! Oh wait, and then I will, let's see who's coming up. We got Suki coming up, we got Aldo coming up. Aldo, there! He's going to point at the weak spot of the creature

and I would like to aid Aldo in his attack. All right. With an occult check for the weak spot of the creature. You shut your mouth when you're talking to me. Eris's turn. Eris, this thing you're talking to me. Eris's turn. Eris, this thing is right next to you. Does it have you grabbed? It does have me grabbed, which isn't cool.

So I feel like it's going to attack me. So I'd like to use a focus point to cast Needle of Vengeance. Ooh. And I name myself as the target that it cannot attack. Ooh, nice. Nice. So yeah, I'm just like, if you attack me, And I named myself as the target that it cannot attack. Oh nice So yeah, I'm just like if you attack me. I'm gonna be so F'ing mad and just to confirm that is that's only verbal right that spell um Let me see it's a mental spell

Is it one action? Oh it has the manipulate action, so it's a flat check, okay? I got a roll of okay. You know what DC five John you got this How hard could this be easy? Pass yeah Alright huge Unfortunately needle of vengeance has the mental trait and it is immune to it Oh, because it has so many minds so many. If only we had learned that on our successful recall knowledge check.

Yes. It is immune to crypts and code. And mental. And mental. And all things we already knew. I considered telling you and moved on with my life. Cool. Cool.

Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Anything else? I'm going to cast which one of these which one of these all right Um she's gonna follow suit with what Atticus just did and tear a piece off of the base of the statue and fling it at Telekinetic projectile also flat check huh also quick flat check quick flat check

Pass yeah, I wish that was my roll. So that is a 29 to hit. That's a hit. Nice. Nice. So that's gonna be. Oh I love the image. Grabbed and pulling.

30 points a day. Holy shit. Oh yeah. Yeah. Points. Holy shit. All right. That was a good throw. A good throw. I almost said my own name.

Call me by your name. Call me by my name. Say my name. Anybody got any peaches around here? Suki, it's your turn. Jesus Christ. I... Suki, you're all right, Father Bubbles says. Suki looks at Father Bubbles and you see this fire forming in her hands and she looks at Ethel and she's so fucking mad. But then she's like, no, I shouldn't kill Ethel. It's not his fault. He's attracted to Father Bubbles. We all are, including the clown. Notel. It's not his fault. He's attracted to father bubbles We all are including the clown. No especially

energy turns to a tiny murder Forever blowing Wow Wow, I think that's worth a bottle of beer. Yeah! Skin! Skin! Take a bow! Take a bow! That's all you gotta do. Download an MP3. Little did Doris say no. I'm forever blue. You see Serenity come over her face as she imagines the soundtrack in her brain.

And then she just shoots the flame at the creature instead of Ethel. And... It singes Ethel's eyebrows. 31 to hit. That's a hit. 31! 31! That's 20 points of fire damage. Man, if you guys can take this out before Aeris goes, that would be great. She commands Pepsi.

Pepsi's going to move over on top of the dead body. Who cares? Oops, moved Suki as well. My bad, my bad. All right, now Pepsi's going to take a bite. Okay, Pepsi moves on top of the dead body. And I'm flanking. Rude. And I'm flanking take a bite. Okay, Pepsi moves on top of the dead body. And I'm planking. Rude. And I'm planking. I heard you.

Fuck! No! What did you do? Oh no. Did that snake not one? Pepsi not one? Oh no! You know why?

Because Pepsi has a skinny cock. He is a... Probably does. It's not really an insult, I don't know. Wow. It's considered praise among the snakes. It's got a good heart. He's got a good heart. That's he has a good heart.

That's what you get for desecrating a body. So that's going to be a melee fail. Melee fumboni. Little fumboni sandwich. Let's go to Chad from St. Paul. Chad? Chad? Oh!

Chad's cute! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Thumb boney all right baloney say let's go to Chad from st. Paul

Is it you Chad all right this one is called disease Laid is that you how about diseased fang is that you Chad Chad noise Chad you son of a bitch I Chad, I talk to you too. If you kill Pepsi, I swear to God. I'm gonna fuck you up. I know you! Chad, if Pepsi dies... Hahahaha! Question is, does Chad have a good heart? No! No! No!

Ah! Hahahaha! There shall be no soul sucking to Pepsi! Well, it's not sucking technically. Well, well, okay. Oh my God! Read the fumble. Read, well, okay. Yeah, it could be sucking. Oh my God. Hey-oh. Read the fumble. Read Chad's fumble.

Oh dear. Diseased blade. Your worthless character's clumsy miss causes you to nick yourself with your fang, allowing diseased, poisoned blood to enter your own body. Wait, but this makes so much sense, because it's a snake. Yeah.

Fuck. Dude, this is really fucked up. A non-venomous snake. What happens? How did you let this happen? Michael! It's the bacteria in the snake's mouth. Oh, right.

Michael's in the audience. Kamodo dragon all of a sudden. Why are you feeling like a Mike? Because this should never have gone through. This is horrible. That's okay, I'll save him. I can save him. Go on.

So what happens? Does the snake have to roll a fortitude save? You immediately, the snake immediately contracts a disease. Like an actual two-e disease. Herpes. Herpes. Oh no. And you have. Jesus. All right. So it's hot. Roll a d4. Okay. We have to look up the god damn disease. Okay. Yes. I'll pick a disease. Two. That's Oh my god. Is it actually?

Pepsi has tuberculosis. Pepsi has TB? The snake got tuberculosis. From its own body guy. I've seen this before, that snake's got the consumption. Actually, this isn't bad. This isn't bad. Pepsi Fortitude save. Do snakes have lungs?

Yes. Yes, I see. What is wrong with you? Oh no, oh no. Troy's doing biology. Oh no. Tiny little lung. What's your fort save? We are stupid.

Love you, Nick Lowe. 18, I just rolled a natural two. And that is a success. Oh, thank God. He is not infected by tuberculosis This is the best part. This is the best part. If Pepsi failed the onset is one week Be amazing it would be 2025 Back here Pepsi died Here

It's okay Pepsi illness is not metaphor All right, Chad. It turned out to be a joke great Okay, my book are you done with your dumb snake damn done All right, it's Aldo's turn and then it's the produce your golfs. Oh my god all right Aldo or Atticus is going to attempt to aid with Occultism he rolled a 28. Okay, that's a crit now right cuz he's down to 15. It's up to you I think that's fine. All right, so a plus two Especially your master of occult seeing Michael and we're side by side. We're working together on this yet hit him right the mouth All right. Yeah

To run there are Australians in the crowd tonight come on Criticize your accent at all no they they again just like Georgia and Austin said it was fine Fine so Did you did they say it was fine like you had a big heart? Yeah. You got a skinny accent. Yeah, what did you guys mean? Was that like passive aggressive or was it, do you mean it was like adequate? Like what do you mean? They're discussing it now. They're discussing it. They're looking at each other like, oh, this is the show. What did you mean?

What did you mean? What? I don't understand what they said. Oh, it's like you're from the Outback. I can't understand that guy's accent at all. So, how was the sex? Fine. Fine. I think they said it was really good.

Yeah. Oh, you're from Australia? How's my accent? You have a good heart. Just think about that blow up second. No, they said it was really good, so I'm going to set about proving them wrong. Sire, I'm going to run across this world. I'm going to run across these toils here on the ground. I'm going to get in a closer position so I can throw bombs at them. I'm going to throw a greater lightning bomb of this creature. Are you up Suki's dress? Where are you?

I don't know. You moved to where Suki was. You moved on to Suki, maybe right now. Oh, all right, there we go. Get out of here. This is the first time I've been glad Olivia Newton-John is dead. I know.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Ben. Welcome to the party, pal. All right, all right. So I'm gonna thrive. All I'm gonna thrive. Thrive. Thrive. All right. All right. So I'm going to thrive. All I'm going to thrive. Thrive. Thrive.

Right. Right. A lot. Boom. At least creature. Plus two. Circumstance, John. OK, that is a that is a 39. Oh, yeah. That would have been a crit. It's a goal here would have what I damage Okay, so that is 30 points of damage Yikes, and what kind of damage electricity damage can't well I am and they are flat-footed to all the takes me until They be getting a more next to Today beginning of more next to All right, so off-guardage for this poor soul and is that your turn that piece more

You guys did not dispatch. No way. I know no no I have one more attack. I have one more attack sorry I'm gonna throw. Let's see, what's my throw? Slowed and off guard. I'm gonna throw in a moderate acid flask. Oh acid, interesting. Acid flask. Ooh, baby.

Right, that is a 26 to hit because it is off guard Okay, darling, it's gonna be close it's gonna be It's near death. Okay near death. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Okay. Roll well All right, that is, that is, that is, are the suspensions killing me? You gotta go, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's killing all of us. That's suspense.

What is he doing? How many dice are you adding? That is 35 points of acid. Oh! Moderate acid blast? Yes. Because of my striking rune. Striking on the bandajorn.

The bandajorn. The bandajorn. And you kill it. Yes! Yes! Nice! On a blood, sweat, and tears. The hard work we've been planning for years.

Is everyone alright? Uh... Oh. Father! Yes? Father! I'm uh, I'm quite hurt. Eris, are you alright? The ooze-draxx, Eris.

Let me lay hands on you. She's like, ugh! Pepsi! Yes, lay your hands upon me. I'm fine. Oh, it's okay, you're okay. Aldo? I'm also not fine.

Aldo, do you need a massage? No. No, I don't. I don't want you to leave big purple marks all over my back. Think you'll find I'm very gentle. We all learned at the seminary how to massage. Okay. Pepsi, are you all right?

You bit yourself. Are you okay? Oh, Pepsi, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I shouldn't have commanded you to go over there Why didn't you protect him? None of you protected Pepsi? Oh, is he dying? What? Is he gonna make it do you think? Yes, he's going to make it

Okay Tiny murder clown. Yeah, how? How? Are you here? How do you know what we've gone through? The distance we've traveled, the puzzles we've solved, the secrets we had to unlock, the people we've defeated to get to the Mysterium. Yeah. How?

I just had a dream and walked in through the front door. Right. I cannot tell you how happy I am to see you. I have never been happier. Oh, how about a cuddle? Okay. And he puts out his arms and he goes in for a hug. Aeris hugs him back. Okay. Oh, Aeris his arms and he goes in for a hug. Oh. Oh.

Eris hugs him back. Okay. Oh, Eris, you in on this? Of course I am. You're great. Are we hugging? Yeah, let's hug it up, everybody. Nar.

Nar. Cuddling's what I do forth best. Come here, I will. Nar. Although it's not a hug unless you're a part of it. Nar. You're so soft. Listen, they, I don't know what their problem is.

Okay, well we can hug. I think we can all hug. Hey, Harris, is your puppet here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She pulls it out of her cloak. It got hurt earlier, but he's here. Oh, he's great. I thought maybe we'd meet again, so I wanted to show you something because you were so nice to me last time. I have something to show you too. Oh

and and he he reaches into He reaches into like a sack on that he's got on his belt and he sticks his hand in there And he's kind of rummaging around and he's like, um, yeah Have you ever? hand in there and he's kind of rummaging around and he's like um yeah have you ever have you ever had a meal that sticks with you for like five years no well I have and I want you to meet my friend and he pulls out of a puppet on his hand and it's this like coppery greenish skinned, like heavily muscle-bound puppet with these big, thick, strong arms.

And he's got like a bald head and little tusks. And his hair, little there is, comes up in like a samurai bun. And he goes, oh, I call him Mr. Vittles. He's magnificent. Hi. Hello. When I killed myself by the tree, I took the soul of the other puppet.

And I wanted to show you the soul, but maybe you can have it for your puppet. Do you know how to put a soul in a puppet? Yeah. Damn. Could you put a soul in Mr. Vittles? Yeah, here you go. Oh! She does it, and your puppet comes alive. Oh!

No role necessary. Yeah. Flavor. Cool power. Flavor, flavor, flavor. He's alive,. Flavor. Flavor. Flavor. Flavor. Flavor. Flavor. Flavor. He's alive, but Tiny Murder Clown's hand is still in him. It's like, oh. Hey. He's alive. The puppet now can only talk to you, so you'll still have to do the hand to other people. Oh, yeah. Of course. Of course. Wow. Atticus, do you like my puppet? His name's mr. Vittles he's the tastiest soul I ever ate I don't know

why for a moment I enjoyed it and then suddenly I felt a dark foreboding feeling oh as if I was being mocked what I can't explain it it makes no sense no that seems what connection do I have to this silly pop it none Why would I care to wear it on your arm and mark it as if it was no? So if it was never alive, I think he's taking it a little too serious. I don't do it's just a fucking puppet. Oh my god It's not that deep Hey Aldo Atticus cut talk to you in private for a minute. Yes, please

Father he pulls you aside and he's like father. Can I talk to you in private? Yes, we should come down here Just want to bring up an HR matter I think Am I being replaced by a fucking clown? Am I being replaced by a fucking clown? You told me I had only I had job security and room to grow yes, yes, we did indeed say that however Aldo, and I have spoken and while we are very impressed with your work. It really is stellar unfortunately there are other layers to your employment

It's a seniority issue. Well, there is seniority, of course, but there are also other we discuss this. There is the issue of we have a policy here and we frown upon relationships in the workplace. And as of late, you may have perhaps it has not been proven violated the harassment policy. I never signed a handbook I never saw one. Well we gave you a address it was sent to your address. It was mailed to your home. Yes. You mean as we went on a thousand mile journey down a river? Well you did click the box.

Honestly, that is not our problem. He did click the box. He ticked the box. Yes. Sorry. The policy is we mail the policy to you and it just states all the rules of your own class. Wait, wait, wait. Am I being fired right now?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You just, you know, soon, when we leave the Mysterium. We'll have to I got alimony and child support to pay No, do you know my wife said to me thought of that before you started? So disgustingly displaying your affection. I see what I see what's going on here I see what this going on here. I see what this is. This is discrimination. No. Discrimination. Sorry, discrimination.

You just don't like neck mouths. That's what's going on right here, isn't it? That's what this is. Well, no, no. On the contrary, Eris has been quite lovely to have as part of this company. What? You, however, are asserting yourself in a way that is rather unpleasant. Are you good? First, Eris, then Father Bubbles. What's going on with you? Father Bubbles and I have a spiritual connection. Are you guys talking about me? Father Bubbles, can I speak to you privately? Yes, you see Father Bubbles looks upset. I noticed... Shut up. Shut up. Father, uh, Dick, could I call you Dick?

Please do. Dick. I noticed you... They're in the dark. You looked... As Suki's talking, Pepsi is like weaving between his legs and back around. I noticed you... Please, go on.

I noticed you looked a little upset, a little off. Oh, I was trying to hide it, yes. You wear your heart on your sleeve, I understand. I just see these other combatants, they're so brave, so strong, and I feel so helpless. I was having a crisis of faith. Perhaps I have dedicated my life to this god! Oh god! Instead, I should have been hitting the gym. These just feel like show muscles.

I wish that I could fight and protect you. I don't need you to protect me. You know, Father, Dick. Yes. You're strong in so many other ways. You realize that. Yes, well, my faith is strong. Your faith is strong and other things?

Listen, can I be frank with you, dick? I hope you will, then. I don't like... she looks back at Eris and Ethel. I don't like to share, if you know what I mean. Oh shit. Don't like to share if you know what I mean oh shit All Tomatum I Think I Understand I love that we've turned this show into all the shows that Kate

She has insidiously planted in our minds. She has turned the glass cannon. It's like glass cannon on the Bravo network. It's turned into a Bravo. Go on. I've lived a long time, and I've taken many lovers, and I've had multiple at the same time. My goodness. Nathas is totally cool with that. No, no.

As am I, but there comes a point when I want things all to myself. Till now, I always got by on my own. I never really cared until I met you. So I understand. You know, my weakness is I care too much. Smithers sees that as a strength. She twirls her hair. Really? Huh. You have split ends. Oh, that's perfect!

Wow. Treat her a little. Damn, she like loves when a guy nags her. It's the mystery method. Have you seen the movie Hitch? Um, so I feel as though we're at an impasse. What path will you take?

Well, sure. Playing with an abacus, a small abacus. Sure, soon we will have to rest. There will be many confessions this evening. I will conduct them all in private and pray to my god to find the answer until then stay alive you too as Pepsi weaves between his legs crawling up his leg and then coming back on a suki's arm and around her shoulders I'm sorry I normally I wouldn't do this, but I have to do this, I apologize.

I have to reveal my desktop because I have to show what many people may have not seen. The Vancouver poster, which is what you're enacting right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's Suki, there's Bubbles, and the snake is weaving up. Angelina's a witch. Angelina's a witch. Art imitates life, life imitates art. Angelina! Amazing. Yeah. And then Suki.

That's my favorite depiction of an elf ever, by the way. It's so good. It's so good. And then Suki with Pepsi. It also looks like Sydney. How? Yeah, it's amazing. Thanks. You mean hot?

St. Paul said St. Paul said, by the way, gotta say not to divert again, but real quick. It is wonderful to come back to St. Paul. We've been here three years in a row. This is fantastic. We've added, you know added it to the slate yearly It's wonderful. This show will always be very special to me Because it is the first show that Sydney joined the live tour That's right and has made it better ever since so thank you said When we let her go When we let her go it will be here in St. Paul's.

See I thought you were going to say it was special because this is the site of the Pickle story. Oh, the Pickle story is also a classic. But that's a story for another day. We digress. Suki and Pepsi saunter away sexily back up the hallway. Suki! Yes? I'm quite hurt. Would you mind, um... Oh, I thought that was Father Pupples calling me. Oh, I'll help you there

Okay, you won. Oh, thanks father bubbles. Yes. Thank you. I have some I'm deeply conflicted about my conversation with My employers. I might have to discuss it with you later. Are you okay? I thought you look haunted I'm always haunted That's actually true If you've loved as I have, then had your love cast aside in favor of practicality, you two would be haunted. I haven't. I'm always the one

doing the breaking up with, so no, I don't understand. Kind of top energy, if you know what I mean. Anyway, there you go, healed up, whatever. What are we doing now?

Says Father Bubbles. I wanna try to turn this angel's head again. Okay. Can I do some sort of- I'd like to do a knowledge check. Can I do thievery to see what mechanism is working here and perhaps if we're missing something. All right, here we go.

Amazing, amazing rat die gives us a 27. 27, okay. Fevering. You get 38 points back, Ethel. Are you good? Yeah, I'm good. Thank you, thank you, Suki. You're welcome, Ethel.

I am a little down. Iris, of course. Please, let me help you. You get half a hit point from Father Bubbles. Oh, rounded down. I am exhausted. Of course, please let me help you you get half a hit point from father bubbles. Oh Round it down. I am exhausted. We must rest soon That takes everything 41 thank you so much. How does she do you're so great?

Someday I will heal more than one shall we you're turning the head turn the head why then I'm looking at the mechanism of fever all upstairs you turn them with ease they stayed in place this one you feel like you almost get the sense that something is blocking it but not here like it's blocked at the source you know that when you turn Like it's blocked at the source. You know that when you turn all these heads, another gate opens, so they're tied into that gate. Maybe there's some sort of... Perhaps there is an order in which they need to be turned.

Maybe there's another head we need to turn. Perhaps we must turn another head first. Let's go... Let's try to the north, where that other... Let's try to the south. Right. Is it? Well, sure. To the north. There's plenty of us, Let's try to the south. Right! To the north.

There's plenty of us. Let's split up. No! I'll lead the clown and the witch. No, I agree with the small clown. I don't think we should split up. Yeah, I think we should stay together. My last group split up and... What about these dead bodies? We should say a prayer over them.

I see a statue to the north. How about, why don't we save the prayer for all the bodies on the level at the end of the level? There's probably more. I did not know you were to be a pious man. Actually, I can take care of the corpses. I'll just pull him over into this, but don't worry about me. Yes, Tiny Murder Clown does wondrous things with corpses Oh father this way and Atticus like turns him away from tiny murder, and he's just shoving his fists into the rib cage

Kind of priest is he I'm not a priest Atticus walks him toward the north. Yeah toward the the north we all said we start heading toward the north Pursue key suggestion. What is this shit? What's something amazing? Geometric rug or something what is that shit father bubbles? What does this mean Atticus says? What is this shit? My God My God, Nethis. That's his name That's what I say when I exclaim. My god Nethus, this rug...

I don't know what it is, it's just shapes. Oh, is this just... is this just Davey Maps, like going off and crushing it? It's beautiful, isn't it? Oh, there's another statue over here! All were told the Arcana level would be beautiful. I've never seen it with my own eyes. It looks like there's some paper and some- and a quill over here on this little- So much death, though. Another body.

And a book! Oh, another one body. Yes, a book. A book. Alright, so... You come up to this... area, and, uh and it's a library. And in fact, where you fought the Proto-Shogoths, there were books there as well.

But you guys are just moving on. Not searching bodies, not searching books. There are books? There are books. Oh, shit. Wait. This continues to be the library here. But this section... Oh, on the shelves. Looks like it contains shelves of books and manuscripts.

Manuscripts. Manuscripts. We don't try any manuscripts. Pertaining to evocation focused spell casting. Cursory glance. The works go into the philosophical detail on the manifestation and manipulation of magical energy. And many of them, I think, Atticus, you would recognize as textbooks used in arcane colleges throughout the inner sea.

I'm sure you've studied these from time to time. Rick Steves, evocation. Evocation for dummies. One entire shelf looks like it holds tomes devoted to the subject of using magic as part of large-scale warfare. And on the body lies yet another. On the ground lies yet another body. I search it. You search it.

There is a magical staff and it's wearing a magical armor that has a potency rune on it. Oh shit. I will identify it. Identify it. Plus three, plus three, three plus three yeah, probably Yeah, there's no way I was just doing pathfinder society at a random store guy I Could I could just resign?

I'm happy to go home 30 my children again No, Ethel. Would that leave in long term opening? It depends. What's your travel budget? Yeah, by the time I... It's not high. Alright, so 33

are on the staff to identify staff, right? Staff and magical armor. Oh, and the magical armor. So you are trying to identify the magic on this body. Again, symbol of Nethus. It's one of the gods. Oh shit. Is this goddamn wraith going to come out again? Is this one of the gods. Oh shit. Is this goddamn wraith gonna come out again?

Is this one of the guys that I came in with? It is. You recognize the face of this young man. He had his whole life ahead of him now he's dead. I'm sorry, can you ping the body on found- oh is it just the one that's kind of right in the middle of all this? It's the dead body that's between all of you. Got it. It's the one that I'm looking at while like sort of licking my lips. Oh, I knew this man What was his name? Oh his name was Michaelson? Michaelson Michaelson Michael's what was his that was the first name or last name what was his father's? Mickey Melissa Marcus Peter Timothy and Michael son yes, Michaelson Jones and oh no, sorry. Oh no, oh no, Sydney's taking notes.

It's Michelson Jones-en-ston. Sydney's writing a draft email. He was a good man, he wanted to be a baseball player. I'm not writing that down. Baseball? Yes, he had all the skills and now he's dead. That game endemic to the North American content? Oh no.

From which I come? It's huge in Kadira. What is the fucking staff? Oh, sorry I was just mourning over the loss of this future shortstop. For the Kadiran cutters. He looks like a finesse player. Yes, he had all five tools. What is this staff?

He will never be drafted into wars or into the major leagues. Well he is dead, but please go on and steal from his corpse. Father I didn't know you were such a sports fan. I wouldn't have touched anything father. I know you wouldn't. I'll steal. Come on Stookie. What is this staff? Yeah? Let's go Eris couple things happen. Oh you look at this and you're like holy shit. This is a plus one striking disrupting staff And the armor is plus one leather armor with a plus one armor potency room with a plus one armor potency rune. Collecting the pieces of the lotteries.

Oh, excuse me. It's plus one leather armor, but it's like all broken up and so you can kind of like take it apart so that you'll have a plus one. You can just take out the rune. Yeah, you take out the rune. Oh, that's fucking awesome. I misspoke, so yeah, you basically,

the armor is useless, but you can take that rune out and put it in your jawn. However, as you guys are arguing over this corpse's body body all of you hear the sound that's like You feel the air around you Stiffen any noise also crackling torches torches or whatever in the area everything goes crazy silent Roll for initiative. Oh silent rofer initiative oh wait there was a silent spell we're dead the entire party speak for yourselves what did you get whoever Richard bubbles rolled a 20 Ethel what did you roll 43 so weird that you would come to st. Paul and lie about your initiative. I was a natural 19 my yeah

Oh, yeah, what did you get? Eris? 26 26 sukes 35 Holy shit Aldo 24 ee you're 11th level Why?

20 You're 11th level camera. What? 25. Alden? 25. Shit. Atticus? Twenty. Twenty-five. I don't know what he got. I got the...

All right, correction. It's a 41 for Ethel. Oh, see? Oh, so you did lie. Oh, I just looked at my forward. Save not my perception. Stop lying. Yeah, it's always good to look at your fortitude. All right. I'll tell the truth. Your initiative. Atticus, what'd you get?

Caitlin, that is another natural 18 on the rat. Wow. Is that what's the total 38? So you got a loaded die because there's no way you would roll naturally. No, that died loaded. Is it? Yeah, no, no, no No, no that dies just got the rest. She says no. She's adamant and angry that I even messed up It's got the rad stuff the rad stuff you got the rad stuff baby Round one something is rotten in okay. Wait

Two characters have not given their initiatives. I have. I have everyone's initiatives. Sorry, you might have forgotten. There's nine characters playing. Oh! Oh, I don't have Tiny Murder Clown. Tiny Murder Clown, I'm so sorry.

What did you roll? Sorry, I got a 23. 20. So it doesn't matter anyway. It really doesn't. Just put me at the bottom. I have everyone's initiative now. And Father Bubble's got a 20.

And it's yet again at the bottom. Ethel,'s initiative now and father bubbles got a 20 and it's yet again at the bottom Ethel it's your turn something is going on here You see especially your arcane companions your lover and the rat they're bristling with some she has changed. She has a name She has a name Troy. It's okay to call me. Just lover for me not for him, oh All right, sorry, but I see nothing you see It's okay to call me just lover. For me, not for him. Oh. Alright, so I, but I see nothing. You see...

nothing. Uh, Ethel- Oh, I'll tell you what you see. You see something. The area has started to glow. It seems like there's a glow that has filled the periphery of the room and started to extend into the hallways, but there's a definite, like, aura or area to it kind of closing you all in in this library.

Alright until someone one of the arcane knowing characters can go I will delay. Okay okay. Cheer for a good delay. Yeah! Love a good delay. Att! Love a good delay! Atticus, it's your turn. I also delay. No. Alright. No I can't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. In this situation I cannot. I cannot. My training tells me I must first take an action to see if I can understand what's happening here. I would like to do a knowledge check perhaps knowledge or can oh

Is it arcana is it a cultism I've got you want to like try and identify magic yes Okay, no or a cult which should do it to be Whatever you want this gentleman said arcana in the audience and since he's jamming the game. I will do arcana. I trust that Here we go. Oh God damn it Myself it's like this sounds like it's like the sounds I make like standing up now. I rolled a 25 knowledge arcana. Come on man, 25 arcana by the skinnier ween. Oh, love a good wean. Wean is where the shirt you

You gotta love ween Your ween you You immediately know what's happening here, but you don't know what the implications are Do you want to know or do you want to talk to your friend? I want to know the implications the implications seem very important. I'm also very scared a Resilient sphere has been formed oh there is like a sphere of pure force that is holding all the news in this room doesn't feel that way it feels like it's trapping you in here upstairs before you came down here you walked into a room and similar library books

everywhere so it's fucking library and words were flying out of the books and you like determined which books were throwing out those words and you were able to destroy or counteract those words. Something is happening in here, like the magic from these tomes is coming to life and putting you all in this sphere, but you don't understand why.

Okay, I don't understand why and it feels like we're being trapped in okay This is amazing and bad At the same time because you never know when to use all your shit Especially when it's a long crawl and you got a long way to go, but I'm just gonna fucking do it cuz I'm in st. Paul. We're live So if you were in like another city you wouldn't do this no no it's not worth it Would you do it in Minneapolis it no? Dude, they're so full themselves over there. Look at that was so much better. I'm not with him Maybe it's more of a Shelbyville idea.

I'm a big St. Paul fan. I like St. Paul. I like the St. Paul Saints! I like minor league baseball! I like the purity of this small town. What are you going to do? He is going to identify that something seems to be trapping us in here. He is going to pour everything he has into breaking this spell. I am going to cast Dispel Magic, heightened to level six. Oh, it is one of the most powerful spells I have for this entire journey.

Dispel? Are we going to go into the land of counteract? I'm going to go into the land of counter counteract which is fine. I just need to I'm just gonna do it. It might be a waste, but I really think in this case Based on what he told me I feel Dispel magic should really work. It should just fucking shut the thing down All right, how many actions is that because you used one to two actions spell all right? I'm looking at the remastered version of

dispel magic Seems pretty cool. It's pretty cool. So I just isn't called something basically all right. I'm looking at the remastered version of a dispel magic Seems pretty cool. It's pretty cool. So I just isn't called something basically all right Here's the main thing if you if this is a hazard you have to look at the if it has a counteract DC I know what's going on all right Okay, I love your confidence. You're fucking oozing confidence. It's terrible. No one knows this game better than me You're fucking oozing confidence right now. That's terrifying. No one knows this game better than me. No one in this room. I'm in that situation right now where I believe you.

You said it so well. You said it so confidently. This man is so confident. Give me a... Also, I've had a lot of local IPAs. You've also been drinking since noon. Now, here's the thing. You're doing it at sixth level. So the level, you have to have at least the level of the John.

But I need a counteract check from you. I need a counteract check. The DC. Yes. It might not even be a high enough level. Either way, I'm going to let you roll that check and we'll see what happens. Yeah, so I'm going to do an arcana check. An arcana check to counteract the spell. I could do a cult.

You can tell me, you know, whatever. Caitlin, I'm going back to the rat die. It just rolled a natural two, but I love this rat die. God, I'd love a bottle cap right here. This is huge. Here we go. Come on. My bottle cap. Oh, can we do that? Oh, they are non transferable.

God, they are in this show. However, they are in the show. They are in this show. However, they are in this show. If you succeed at this. They are in this show. Yeah, they're transferable in this show. We all say that they are. You might earn one if you succeed at this. Alright, come on. God, I'd love to succeed at this. Come on, come on.

Ratt- Oh! Another 90 18! No! No! Oh, shit! Dude, if Eric Mona wasn't here, I would have launched out of the chair because I needed that extra six inches. Without the extra six inches, I knocked Sydney out with a shot to the jaw. She was out cold, flat on the floor, and there's beer stains all back here. I immediately thought you were so cool.

You need an extra six inches, but you've got a big heart. That is a 41 on the counter. Six inches do. Father Bubble says, 41. He begins this incantation of the most powerful spell he can cast at his level to immediately try to shut this shit down. All of this happens in real time, simultaneously. Vroom, this resilient sphere of force

forms around the room. Do you wanna know what happens? I do. And you feel like the air around you crackle with energy, like all of a sudden, it's about to blast all of you with force, and you fucking break it dude I love it love you guys dude I agonized this is like almost more than a month ago now I agonized if I should prepare heightened dispel magic talks

about it for so long over lunch we have a lot of lunches together. And we all said, just prepare it. Just fucking prepare it. And thank you. Oh my god. You did it. Yes! Yes! Let's go give it to you. Wait for you to get it on.

You needed to counteract sixth level, and it was DC 32. Wow! Amazing. So I didn't even crit. It was just a success. Yeah, just a success, but that was enough to counteract the magic of the sphere that was about to blast all of you.

Bet you didn't see that coming, Troy. I'll tell you right now, it would have been 3D10 plus 14 damage. To everybody. You get a reflex save, DC 36. Yeah, OK. Deeper. It would have crit failed. Like all of us would have crit failed. everybody. You get a reflex save DC 36. It would have quit failed. Like all those would have been like, so the equivalent of six D 10 plus 28.

Oh my God. All of us, dude, this is God. I love that moment for Atticus. That was just great. That pure cast. Yeah, that's exactly like what you do. What do you want to happen when you prepare that spell? Yeah. Father bubble says, good. My prayers worked. Suki, you're safe. Athalaris Aldo, new guy. We're all safe, thanks to God.

Oh, God. Oh, yes. Thank you, Dick. Yes, it was Nethys. Yes, thanks. Thanks, Dick. Nethys is with us. I can feel it. Look at this beautiful rug. He needs the encouragement. Lay down on it.

He's very pretty. He's not very smart. Oh, God, it's hot. Exactly. Look at him. Praying makes me so warm. I'm forever blowing bubbles. Fucking drop, dude. Quick question on Father Bubbles. Just a clarification. Yes.

You need healing. I'm not, this is out of character and you'll see why it has to be. Is Father Bubbles continually opening the jawn and then closing it? Yeah. continually opening the jaw and then closing it. So he keeps me like, all right, now I'm feeling a little cooler, so I'll close it. And then he's like, is this hot in here? And he keeps... So he never just strips it off and walks around bare chest. No, no, no.

Or does he just keep the top buttoned and then it's kind of flowing open? He just keeps the collar open from time to time. Now he's laying on the rug on his back like arched. Don't hurt yourself. I get so warm when I pray. Do you mind if I turn this angel statue's head? Yeah, whatever. I don't think they should see this.

Try it. With all haste. I try to turn the angel statue's head. You try to turn the angel statues head. You try to turn the angel statues head. It goes right back again. Damn it. It didn't work. I have a theory. What's your theory? Well it seems like each of these libraries corresponds to a school of magic. I'm having a stroke of genius I think I'm absorbing it from my time with my my friend he says with a cautious look towards his employees now it's just slowly not I do a perception check on Eris's reaction my

co-worker it's a very low oh very low it It's very low. Perception DC. It's a success. It's like a 37. Crit. Oh, OK. What's happening? She's like, what the fuck? Suki.

He just called me friend. Suki will remember that. ["Friends"] Got some new ones tonight. I know. Nice work, dude. There's so much sex in the show. We have to mix it up.

Go on, Ethel. Well, if each of these libraries and the angel in them corresponds to a school of magic, is there something we need to do to prepare each room? Perhaps we just need to defeat whatever's in it. And Dick defeated this one. But then I tried to tried to turn it didn't work. Sorry again real quick Ethel keep turning it keep turning it I'm just gonna do another thievery check just to see if there's anything to do with a mechanism or if it still seems like It's something else elsewhere in the floor needs to be turned. Oh, I

Heard that tone. Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure Oh, I heard that tone. Okay. Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure I rolled a 21 anyway, so logic to the city 21 yeah, no something's fucked up with the mechanism like the other ones move no problem Something's fucked up with all right you they must all be connected Yeah, they've got like some underground shit that's connecting to open up wherever the gate is you're trying to do it and it's just you know right back Hey, what let's look over here. Sorry just to clarify it seems that yeah going back is mechanical as opposed to like some magical force That keeps hey, where are you going? Have we tried doing it all at once get back here friend? Oh? friend? Oh.

No. Back here. Pal. We're not done. There's a thing. You were saying? Atticus. Everyone stop squabbling.

Father, get up off the carpet. Sorry. Tiny murder clown. Yeah. What did you just say? I said, have we tried turning all the heads at the same time? Atticus. That is an excellent idea.

However, we see what happened with this sphere of force that came around us. I don't think we should go alone. Let's go to each corner, clear and make sure there is no imminent danger, and then perhaps we separate. We've still got that ghost. One at each statue and we attempt to turn it at the same time. Well, go ahead, Sean. Well done tiny murder clan

I said I was happy to see you. Yes. Well the good I'm happy to see you, too Are we certain that that sphere that you so excellently defeated came from the statues? Where did it emanate from it seemed to emanate from the books? That would have felt like to me Troy like it emanated from the books Yeah, like maybe we should look at the books Yeah coming out of the book. Yeah, if we look at the books or this book on the table here Can we find more about yeah, maybe what's going on? Let's look at the books You look at the books and and it's just they're all really focused on Evocation magic there's nothing in there like there isn't a page open to resilient sphere or anything like that

It just seems not unlike what happened upstairs these these haunts these residual Things have kind of found their way into the books themselves. So he takes the book She throws it at the statue. What happens? It hits the floor good idea. It wastes time in the show. That's what happens. Let's try to turn them all the way. Let's go this way.

Wait, wait, wait. Let's move cautiously. You're right, Father Dick. I don't know what we would do without you, Father Dick. Oh, another body. Oh, let's search it. Oh no. We searched the body.

I hate seeing dead bodies. Who's this? What's his name? Who's this? Yes, that's what I was going to ask. I don't recognize the body. I hate seeing dead bodies. Who's this? What's his name? Who's this? Yes What I was gonna ask don't recognize this body It's not your elder. No. No, it's not elder the scene Elder the scene is an old handsome man This is a young beautiful man

Do you want to say second breaks you can have sex with it? No Atticus laughs out loud Do you want to take a break so you can have sex with it? No. Atticus laughs out loud. Which is something he never does. That is a sin. Taking a break or having sex with a corpse? Having sex with corpses is very frowned upon in my order. I don't know, maybe Nethus is really against taking breaks.

I can tell that everyone is upset. Being in these halls full of death will drive a man insane. Please, let's respect the dead. Suki checks his pockets. There's some oppressive employment situations happening everywhere these days and maybe I thought Nethus didn't allow breaks. What's in the pockets? You check the

pockets of this body there is another statue to the north angel head right where Atticus went to examine that immediately when Father Bubble started talking. He walked away and tried to examine this other thing. Completely. Yeah. He ignored the roleplay. Instantly. You find a bunch of shit on this body. There looks to be a potion, some little glistening tar-like

substance in a tube, a couple of those. Oh, did we see a tar, something tar-like earlier? I don't remember. There's also some ammunition. like earlier. I don't remember. Um, sorry. There's also some ammunition. Oh, I would say you'd probably notice right away. It's explosive ammunition. Yeah, there's five pieces of explosive ammunition,

six of these black tar things and then one potion and battered leathery gourd. Can I roll an Amater? Aldo? Eris? Yes. I like to do a alchemical or chick

on the char like substance. And Eris, you roll as well. I can do occultism or arcana? I would do arcana. Okay. I don't know what it is. All right, 40. 40 on the L.A. go Aldo. Eris, listen, they're watching us. I think they know something. I think they know there's something happening.

I think they know something, I think they know there's something happening. What, they were friends? Wow! Oh shit! Wow! Oh shit! While they're going at it, you realize that this is, this tar, you can like coat projectiles with it, and it is known as black tendril shot. Oh!

When you coat your ammunition with it and it hits a target, it exudes tendrils that encase the target so it like, kind of grabs. And then they have to make a fortitude save which could either, you know, grab them, slow them, all sorts of shit. Would this apply to my bombs? You know, I think I would allow it just because it's cool. Great. Yeah, because your bombs, do they count as ammunition? Uh, yes.

Yeah, I would think so, yeah. I think, absolutely. Yeah, so- Well answered, Skid. Well answered. Yeah, I don't see why not. I mean, it's, they're literally, they're ammunition. I mean, they are.

Yeah. You can coat your bombs. You have six shots of it, so you have six chances to. Great. I start smearing them all over my bombs. Alright I'm gonna try to turn this angel's head just to see. This happened a lot the last show. It's like a turning an angel's head. It's like a southern saying like somebody who's really handsome. He's like, I could turn an angel's head. Ethel, Ethel, Ethel, slow down. We didn't even see what happens

when we turn the angel's head. Before we continue on, I didn't get to check. Speak with your beautiful mouth. Dick. Thank you. I didn't get to check the body of Mickey and we've found some interesting things. I think I should go check it. Yes, but I am concerned that his ghost will return. As am I. I'm sorry. I try to hide my hands. What?

This is a different Mickey. Oh, I thought it was the guy back there. Mr. Haas. That's Michael Sins. Furbo Haas. Mr. Haas. You can call me Tiny Murder Clown. I don't feel comfortable with that.

We don't know each other yet. Perhaps after confession this evening we will. But when we entered this floor... ... ... Skinny bladder. Show us that enough. So skinny bladder that man.

Mr. Hoss? Hoss? Is it Ferble Hoss? Ferble Hoss. When we entered the Arcana level, we made our way to the east and we saw the body of one of my former friends former because now he's what happened Mickey weatherstone he was laying on the ground as you guys have a fight i'm talking to mr hoss trying to explain to him what happened a concerned about your friendships dread wraith came out of the wall and attacked us and I'm afraid that the spirit of Mickey still haunts these walls. Anyhow, I lost my train of thought. Okay. Well point him out if you see him. He sounds like he has a powerful soul.

Yes, if you see a ghostly apparition grab at you, that's him. Okay. Let's continue on then. Ethel's already run ahead. Are you coming, Atticus? He always does that. Ethel grabs Atticus and pulls him along. Atticus, what's wrong? Why are you just standing?

He looks comatose, he's not moving. Why are you giving me the silent treatment all of a sudden? Father dick shakes him, come. Oh, there's more dead bodies over here. Oh fuck. Oh cool. Oh yeah. Good find. Look at this beautiful rug.

They had an excellent taste here on the Arcana level. So many bodies. No statue over here, I notice. So little time. Suki, let me know when you finished emptying one of their pockets. I don't want to break anything. I was going to search their bodies just to see if they had anything important. I would appreciate it if you did not desecrate their corpses. I'm not desecrating their corpses. I was going to. Oh guys there's a lot of cool stuff at the table. She sees a pentagram and is like, sick. Love this shape. You begin, you begin. Love this shape. Yeah, what is everybody doing?

Walk me through, I want to hear kind of a brief explanation of what's everyone's doing. Eris is by the table of things that look really cool. Okay. By the table of things that look really cool. Just looking, yes? Yes. And picking it up, maybe rolling a cultism, detecting magic. A cultism, okay. What's your cultism?

It is a 24. Okay. What are you doing, Ethel? As a precaution, Ethel starts to chop up the books with his hatchet. Whoa! Okay, totally normal thing to do. Well, we've been attacked by books at every turn. Aldo? I'm still smearing tar on all my ammunition.

Very good. Tinymurderclown. I'm standing next to this corpse waiting for Suki to empty its pockets and licking my lips anticipatorially. Suki, what are you doing? Pockets, pockets, pockets, pockets. I don't. I am searching the corpses very carefully and respectfully in the eyes of Dick.

There's only one eye. Atticus? There's only one eye of dick. Atticus is going to cast Detect Magic. From here, wafting over all the items and whatever's behind these curtains to the east. Just wafting Detect Magic. What is Dick doing? Staring at all of you. Wondering what he got himself into.

This corner, this corner, this corner of the arcana level of the Mysterium. Corner, corner. Corner, corner, corner. This corner of the rum. This corner of the arcana level of the Mysterium appears to hold the bulk of the library's works on occult matters and bizarre supernatural things. God, I want to play! I want to play in a Boston-based Pathfinder game so bad.

Lost a PD! So while many of the other sections of the library contain information on perhaps cults and rituals that stray from the strictly arcane or defined definitions, a quick perusal of this collection seems to focus on psychic magic, dreams, as well as cults of the elder mythos you run your hand over these books and you just get that like powerful feeling like you did so long ago didn't you like steal a book from a count yeah yeah same fucking book yeah Baron Hess Baron I stole his book shit, I don't remember it. Suddenly all of you, while you're doing your various things, start to see things in the

room. Like, you just feel like the books are not coming to life but starting to like Pulsate a little bit you look at the books. They start to pulsate almost like something is starting to grow out between the little cracks where the books meet each other like just slowly start to grow feels like an acid drip while Ethel is just hacking away. And then in each of your heads you hear this like guttural, airy voice just whisper. Hush, shh, shh, shaman door. Oh shit, the big bad.

Everybody roll A. Will save. Shit, I am frightened. Is this a fear effect? It's not good. No. Okay. I am afraid. Oh, I don't feel good. I don't feel good in my one eye. What did everyone roll, starting with Tiny Winder Clown? 27.

Pretty good. Pretty good roll for old Eric Mona. What did you roll, Suki? A 32, and if that's a success, it's a crit success. What, on any will save? I have will mastery. That's amazing. Wow. I am an awesome old ass elf, and I'm so smart. Starring will mastery.

My new character when Suki dies. Will mastery. I'm gonna go good will mastery. Will dies. Will Mastery. I'm gonna go Good Will Mastery. Will Mastery. A really smart janitor. Can you say Arcana with a Boston accent for me? Arcana. Arcana.

Yeah! You pulled that up so fast. I wanna watch the Departed right now. I wanna watch the Departed. You pulled that up so fast. I wanna watch the Dupattit right now. I wanna watch the Dupattit. What did you roll? I rolled a 34. We'll save again, courtesy of Caitlin's Rat Die!

Yeah! It's been beastly tonight. What did you roll, Eris? Me, 37. Ooh! Ooh! Some pretty good rolls, except for Ardmona. Yeah. you roll? Eris? Thirty seven. Some pretty good rolls except for Ardona. Yeah. What did you roll? Matthew Capacaza?

Thirty three. Larry. Larry. Aldo Casimir. Troy, are you having a charger issue or are you throwing up? Troy is hiding. I'm sneezing. He's either having an issue with the charger of his laptop or he's throwing up. I'm sneezing under the table.

You're seizing under the table. Sneezing. I didn't want them to see me sneeze. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Did anybody see me? Does everyone know when Troy sneezes, he sneezes minimum four times? Oh yeah, no, it's every time. If he ever sneezes once, everybody stops, doesn't say bless you, and waits and just stares at him.

Waits for the rest. Like all action stops. It's insane. The editors know it in the studio. It's a three-action sneeze every time. There's no one-action sneeze. Flurry of nose. TFC. Nice. You guys laugh. I'm going to blood in my stool. Everything is a mess. What you get out, though? A twenty five.

Oh, no. Couple things are gonna happen. You all hear the words sounds like another language and unknowable language that sort of coalesces into sounds that your brain can actually realize. Sound Jamin Dore. The first thing that you see happens is Father Dick like falls to a knee and he's like oh my just like you oh my is he about to sneeze? Bless you Father Dick. Bless you. No, something's wrong. And he holds up his hands, and there's like patches of mold and tiny multicolored mushroom caps that are starting to push through his skin.

Nothing more fucking disgusting than a fungal infection. No, nothing. That's fucking nasty. I don't like this. This is real bad. And then as he says this, Furbelhaus, you look down at your exposed skin and the same thing, like little funguses

are coming out and you look across at Aldo and before Aldo even sees it, you see these little growths coming out of Aldo's cheek as well. Gnar! Gnar! Gnar! Gnar!

And both are, excuse me, Father Dick, Ferbil Hoss, and Aldo Casimir are all stupefied ones. Oh no! Shite. Meteor shit. And... And you also all gain the fungus and plant traits. Oh, whoa.

As your body has started to transform into a plant. That's kind of cool. Oh my god. Is that not cool? See, honestly. Well, I mean, there's a lot of things that'll do a lot more damage if you're like plant trait Plantsims are cool. This is not good. This isn't a video game Kate. This is real life

This is one of your games. It's one of your silly games Silly games Kate's suki wide-eyed looks over tick Tick I swear I was tested recently. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ah! God damn it! Father Dick, don't worry. Here, hold your hand out while we're moving.

He raises the hatchet. Ethel! No, I need my right hand. Use my left. Ha ha ha! I pray with this hand. Everyone stop! Ethel Drow- Everyone stop! God, why?

Something is happening! Just wait! Gotta stop the spread of the fungus. Put it down, dick. Here we go! No! Stop overcompensating right now! Relax! Charmander... compensating right now relax I don't think this is supposed to be happening. We need to leave this room We need to get out of here all the light all of you curse back up back back to the north fall back

This way I don't feel good Call the fall back to the south this stuff is cool. Call the full back. To the south. This stuff is cool. No! No! No! I found the other angel. No! They kept walking. Wait.

So. I can't. As some of you are retreating, Tiny Murder Clown, Eris and Ethel start moving down towards the east. The south. Excuse me, the south, but there is an eastern passageway, a very thin, 10 foot wide eastern passageway

that sure enough leads to the final angel statue. This passageway has a good heart. Nice. No. No. No. No. No. No! No! Very good.

Oh my god, I was just thinking this hallway is like a skinny cock. That's Action Kate. That's Action Kate! You go to the statue, you turn it, same thing. Comes right back. Wait, what's going on over there wait father bubbles wait Atticus is going to quickly while he's got father

bubbles off to the west is going to examine the the fungal infection here and try to identify the disease if indeed it is a disease medicine or you like gonna call medicine that's a 30. I could try something else no medicines good, okay? Give me a cult on top of it all righty a little cult on top of it 32 a cult good all right, so You didn't see Father Dick touch anything. For once. Or anyone. But.

You didn't see him like handle anything in this room. He was just walking there and similar to Aldo. He was only touching himself. He was only touching himself and these growths started to come out of his hands. It's on Aldo's face. These mushrooms. My face? And you realize, yeah, you got like a mushroom come out of his hands. It's on Aldo's face, these mushrooms. My face? And you realize, yeah, you got like a mushroom growing out of your cheek.

Oh no! Right next to your goiter. No. No. And you realize they must be cursed. Oh no. Oh god. They have been all infected by a curse.

And you don't really know what the situation is But you do get the sense that if this curse is not Cleared it could progress to the point Where they are no longer human? Yeah where they become plants? What you went to the cell we're currently off to the west and He looks at Father Bubbles. He's just like, what is going on? Beautiful hands.

Father, you have been cursed. There is some ancient curse lingering here that has infected you. Don't panic. We will find a way to dismiss it. We will find a way to get rid of it. We must find the others. Suki!

Eris! And Atticus starts walking back. He's like, whatever is affecting you, it's very urgent. We must deal with this now. And he sees the good-hearted passageway to the east. The statue at the end of it. But what is it? It is a curse, Eris. Oh, that's not a big deal. Once we rest, I can, you know, do some prayers. And you can remove it, yes? I can sort of help break a curse.

I need to spend a long time praying. Okay, but for how many? Can you do it three times? It'll take like all night. Who do you pray to, my young, beautiful neck-mouthed woman? The Baba Yaga, of course. Baba Yaga. Yes, I've heard of that evil witch. Baba Yaga will see us through this.

Well, Eris, if you can cure everyone, it sounds like Dick, you have your work cut out for you. I will see you later then. What? No, I can just wear gloves. No, I'm walking away. When we have confession. Ethel's gonna turn the head on this angel statue for good measure Oh actually only takes me ten minutes right now done even better. Yeah Should we try a tiny murder clowns plan and try to turn all these heads at once well

I believe this is quite urgent. I don't know I can't explain it, but I feel as if I Said I would remove his arm Ethel but it's on all those face. There is trying Eris. That'll be hard. Listen, there is come here Yeah, but I've got a kukri now an Arrakis Atticus says privately to Eris. He's like I Feel very strongly That this curse I don't know how long it will take, but it will result in you becoming fully a plant. So I feel like it must take all precedence. I feel like all must stop. You must find a way to prepare this curse-breaking spell. It's not something I prepare, it's just something that I can do. I'm not good enough yet to do this quickly.

It will take about eight hours of praying for a target. Eight hours? We could be up sheet-tarking-creek by then! It'll help weaken the curse. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Come on, man. Skin night today, we're in a place where you grew your mushrooms. We've gotta fix it, it's a moral imperative. Yeah. So I'll just, I'll just. Oh my god.

Oh my god. Give us these bottle caps. We can't get two pun bottle caps in one session. First of all, eight hours is too long to pray. In second edition, you can. Oh, okay. I cannot pray that. Honestly, it's just Atticus and Eris talking to each other.

So I need to spend eight hours praying or performing occult rites over the target. So I'm assuming it takes eight hours per person. It weakens the curse's power over them, attempts to counteract the curse using occultism or religion for your counteract check, and half your level rounded up for the counteract rank. Okay, this is amazing. So we need to long rest.

I wanna stop. And then I can't sleep all night and I won't be able to prepare new spells or anything like that if we do that. Wait, we're stopping. We to long rest. I wanna stop. And then I can't sleep all night and I won't be able to prepare new spells or anything like that if we do that. Wait. We're stopping. We're gonna rest. Yes. We're gonna have confession.

No, father. What? Not tonight. Well, perhaps you could take Suki's confession. I don't feel good. I feel like this might be my last day on this world. Oh no. I don't like that.

Father, you will have the night to yourself to do as you wish. You will be the last to be cured of this world. Oh no, I don't like that. Father, you will have the night to yourself to do as you wish. You will be the last to be cured of this curse. I do like that. Fear not. Where should we rest? Every place is haunted and terrible. It's true. Let's go to the north. Let's go to the north. The statue in the north, there's a symbol in front of it there. We were never really harried there. You know, the thing is this wraith may come back. It's just a reality of the situation, but we'll just have to... Wait, the meditation chamber on the university level, that key you used to get back up. We can take the ladder to the... Yes. Right. Yes. So We can take the ladder to the... Yes.

You're right. The staircase. Yes. So, so insightful of you. Yes, the key, the large key, we insert it in the lock and we can just simply... Yes, we can go there, that is where the priest would go and meditate. It's the perfect place for us to rest and get rid of our warts. Aw, there's one growing out the inside of my cheek.

Yeah, don't panic, Tiny Murder Clan will take care of it. Let us go. How's it taste? Tiny murder clan will take care of it. Let's go. How's it taste? Oh, it's actually kind of good. All right, so you head back up to the upper floor. Yes. We're going to head back up to the upper floor and rest.

Use the key in the wall. Click, click, click. Open the stairs. You go up the steps. Giant key. Chk-kinch-konk. It opens up the steps. Konk, konk, konk, konk.

Konk, konk, konk, konk. Conk, conk, conk, conk, conk. Don't laugh at my fully work. That's K-Rob laughing at me. He's supposed to be a friend of the podcast. Spill the tonics. Check this out. You guys head upstairs. You head up that ladder.

When you get to the top of the ladder, there's like a trap door in the ceiling. You open the trap door and you find yourself in this room. Oh Where are we what you are in a circular like spherical chamber that is made of ashen Soapstone and like once you all climb in you could close the door and the room is perfectly spherical like 20 feet in diameter and you were told by elder fear that the priest would come in here and like levitate and pray and meditate and she recommended this place as a safe way to get away from the hounds of the

cyclos like cerebro yeah sure it's like a Montessori preschool yeah it's a combination of cerebro and a Montessori. I feel the cerebro. I feel nice. I feel so safe. I close the trap door. Oh, oh, this is my last night in this world. I'm going to be so pissed from where do we hear his voice. He's not here. He's not in the room. For he is not in the room. I did not bring all the pawns. Tiny murder clown! We scream in panic. Oh my god! As he is also not in the room.

I open the door back up. Sorry! Wait, is this a narrative? Why did you call this a door? Or is this GM error? I don't want to drag all the pawns there. Who's missing? Just Father Bubbles and Tiny Murder Clown? Yeah. Yeah, just the new guys. Alright, we'll imagine they're just pretend. All right, we'll pretend they're there.

Oh, and Pepsi's not there either. Pepsi's like, up my dress or whatever. Pepsi doesn't matter. Oh my god. Pepsi's on an arrow, it's fine. Pepsi's up my dress. Not like that! I didn't know when I pushed the button.

All right, so we'll... In this place we'll be safe from the hounds, and perhaps the wraith as well. Eris, begin your incantation. All of you, silent, respect. Eris is right. I cannot be a part of this, for her god is not real. Well then I don't need to heal you then, and we can spend less time in here and I can sleep. Father, be silent. I'm cool with your god.

I know you are. I'm going to heal you first. Yay! Puppet power. Wait, are you shitting me? I'm cool with your God. I know you are I'm gonna heal you first. Yeah Public power are you shitting me what? He'll outdo Think you should heal aldo my boss. He's my boss. Nethis is my boss. I'm not injured You've got the mushrooms you know that you have a mushroom growing out of your right. She's already an injury I hate to break this to you, but you do have some fungi growing out of your body. Well, yeah, it's not really an injury. Okay, her.

Whoever you want, go first. Who is it going to be? Who gets it first? Tiny murder clown. Yes! You got this, babe. It pays to be friendly. He won't be here next time we do the show.

Yeah. Skid, you're meta-gaming. You are being so bad at pretending. But he always disappears. He won't be here next time we do the show Yeah, skid your metagame You so bad at pretending, but he always disappears like this has happened every time Say this time yeah, and you know how he's gonna leave I can already tell you how he's gonna leave It's gonna sound weirdly like Troy's voice, and he's gonna be like hahaha. I don't give a shit, and then I'll just van Like there won't be any explanation. There will be no background. That sounds like me. He's nodding, he's agreeing. Yeah.

Do you want me to try it out on someone else first? I've never done this before on anyone. Yes, try it out on Ethel. And he gives a devious look. He's not even cursed. This is gonna take me eight hours. What a huge waste. This is gonna take me eight hours.

Father bubbles vomits on the floor. All right, so what I have to do. We agree he's last. Pray for eight hours. Oh, this is a tiny room. on the floor. All right, so what I have to do is pray for eight hours and then attempt to counteract the curse with occultism with a counteract check and half my level rounded up for the rank.

During this rite, Atticus is going to sleep. Sound ass asleep. Eight hours. Eight hours. Eight hours. Minimum! Can we aid the check at all? Maybe. But this is what happens.

Shit. Atticus, you lay down in this chamber while they were all arguing who's going to heal who. My god, your god, mushrooms, who's healthy, who's sick, and you're like, fuck this. I'm drained too, I'm going to sleep. I'm drained too. You go to sleep as they try to determine who is going to be healed. You wake up and you are somewhere else.

Oh god. You are in this like featureless plane Where you see these rocky Sandstone cliffs in the distance that just like they're there one second and then they're gone They like flicker in and out of existence And you're standing there all alone all of a sudden a singular blurry image of some strange form that seems very familiar to you like this is a conical conical no with four arms sticking out of it and in front of it like this old elderly

Keleshite woman and they're kind of like this is it you'll see the woman yeah and then the shadow of this conical form they sort of like overlap each other And they blend all of a sudden the old woman has these arms And you see the conical form with the old woman said they're kind of like melding going back and forth rubbery appendages Suddenly they're right in front of you And they just reach out and touch you And we'll see you in Denver.

Oh! That is the show. Thank you St. Paul! St. Paul! Thank you Eric Mona! Eric Mona, ladies, gentlemen! It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com. That's JoinTheNaish.com where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you

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