The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 93 – Stay Away from the Brown Acid Flask (Greater)

Episode Date: July 6, 2024

Another reunion of old friends propels the heroes one step closer to Lowls. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/gFWJ2TF0p60 Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at jointhenaish.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Dragon Ball Legends, the mobile fighting game. Dragon Ball Legends is the first card-based fighting mobile game based on the widely popular Dragon Ball anime series. This impressive game, based on the adventures of the Dragon Ball characters, has high-quality 3D graphics and authentic voice acting. Relive your favorite moments and fight scenes with epic cinematic. From Kid Goku to Beerus, you can collect and train all your favorite characters. The game allows you to collect them all, from all Dragon Ball sagas, including Dragon Ball

Super. Fight with Goku, add him to your team, and use the intuitive controls to battle players around the world in friendly matches. Challenge your friends, compete in leagues to rank up the leaderboard, and defeat powerful foes in co-op. Are you ready to become a legend? Download Dragon Ball Legends for free on iOS or Android.

Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash y amex. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply.

You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. I'm gonna be a good boy How we doin' Denver? Oh hell yeah! Is this what we're doing? Oh my god! Second question, how's everybody's professional basketball team? Huh? Any uh, any fans of the world champs here? Howdy-o, Bopa! It's the Stanley Cup!

Why do you do this every time? You make them boo us as soon as we get on stage! I feel like this one horse town won a championship last year. Am I right? I knew you'd be proud, and I knew that you couldn't be proud without denigrating Denver in the process. Even though we did just win the NBA championship last year, we won a Stanley Cup two years ago.

We won, it seems like a while, but like less than a decade since the Broncos won their third Super Bowl. And as a matter of fact, I want to point out that Denver did win another championship this year, the University of Denver Pioneers. They won the National Men's Ice Hockey Championship, the NCAA. And I was trying to look up who they beat in the final, and it was Boston College, your fucking alma mater! Hey! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! Gen vs. Skid! I appreciate that. Hey, don't get me wrong. One championship is very cute and cool. Not as cool as 18! Listen, once Joe Kik learns how to play American defense, I'm sure you guys can make it past the third round again. I promise it'll happen. This is gonna be a Celtics podcast tonight, by the way.

It's been my entire life for the past two months. I've just been phoning in every show. No, how the Rockies doing? Shut up. You're meeting the sports teams aside, I am excited to be back in Skid's hometown. It's a good crowd. Pretty good crowd for a Thursday. With the exception of Skid, who's been here for like a month and a half, it feels like the rest of us flew in earlier today, which is different. Normally we fly in the day before and we decided to fly in today, which was a bad idea. It's a really, let's just try something new terrible idea. We've been up since 3 a.m. Your time and

We started drinking at 7 a.m. You started drinking The bad idea not the flight the same day, but getting bloodies at 7 a.m The second you got on the flight it was a mimosa I've switched to mimosas the bloodies at 7 a.m. the second you got on the flight. It was a mimosa. I've switched to mimosas. The bloodies are too chunky. Capitocasa had a bloody. I had a bloody. Yeah, sorry. Yeah. It wasn't good. Sydney and Kay were in coach. All right. We were having a great time. You were barely in comfort plus. You were in the last row with the little paper curtain behind you. I was in comfort plus exit row.

It was like a handicapped bathroom. It was amazing. I had so much leg room. Kate and I have a great time every time we fly together. We like to try to get a seat next to each other. It's always our plan. And then we sit in silence and don't talk to each other for the entire flight. And it's awesome. It's like parallel play for children. She's got her little

thing and I got my little thing and we're just like, hee hee hee hee. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Playing games, reading little books, and then we look at each other every so often and kind of nod. You're here, I'm here, and then we just go back to doing our own thing it's great and that's a true friend that's how you know yes a true friend is one you don't talk to yeah I had a big coach plane row realization on this trip that never happened before I was way far back in the plane and at check-in I was like let me see if I can change my seat. And there was a seat way farther up available for no more money. And I was like, ooh, row 15. That looks like rich people seat. I'll grab that one. And I learned something very, very, very valuable

that I never knew before. The row directly in front of the exit row, gets fucked. Oh yeah, you can't lean back. It's half a row. Like they don't balance out all the other rows for what they do with the exit row. They just took that row and pushed it up. So I was literally, both of my kneecaps were wedged under the tray, like the entire flight.

I was like, never again, never again. We have been flying at least once or twice a month since 2018 with a little break for COVID. And it's shocking how little Joe knows about flights. I mean, it was like a month ago. He's like, what, you fly the same airline and get like points and stuff? I know. It's funny because like every time you go to the airport like JFK, you see like Amish people like getting on, and they're all more experienced than Joe. I don't want to over exert the bottle cap economy, but I appreciate it.

Skid, I mentioned you had been here. You came earlier than all of us. Yeah, why didn't you guys just come here last Saturday like I did? Yeah, well. I don't understand. We have families. But you, what did you do for the entire week while you were there? I was trying to, so I was like, I've basically been dicking around for the last five days.

I've been like going out and like having lunch five days. I've been going out and having lunch with friends, coming back to the Airbnb, taking a nap, going out, getting dinner with other friends, and then going to bed at 9.30. It's been great for the whole week. That's nice. That's nice. That's nice.

We saw you in the wild today. Yes. We did not know you were gonna be in the area. We were walking to go get lunch. Right. And we saw you kind of down the block and across the street. And we didn't even call. We were like, hey, there's Skid. And I think I called you.

Well, you were calling me and I was just like, what the fuck is he calling me for? Just text me. Here's what we saw. It was really funny. I called Skid. We saw Skid look at his watch and then run. Yeah. It looked like he was running away from like a Godzilla attack.

And then I texted him and said, we can see you. We're a few blocks back. And he ran again. I turned back and I was just like, I didn't see you. It looked like you looked back at us and went like this. And then sprinted harder away, which was crazy. Well, because I was trying to be on time so I could meet my family who are up here now. And along with several other, I have a list here, so I'll go through it. I

just hope I don't miss anybody. My friend Nikki Steele, is she here? Yeah. All right. So she's someone that, being Dell, who's also here, he's in the front row. We used to do shows with her back in the day, and we haven't seen each other in 15 years. We reconnected. It was amazing. My friend Rob Frakes, one of my, maybe my third oldest friend, is sitting here, sitting next to Adele. The local luminary, Dave Flomberg, is here. We've been friends, actually been friends longer than with Rob. I've known you since high school. He's been friends with my sister forever.

He's here. He's great. My best friend in the world, Nick Shelton, who you probably know as the person who gave me that incredible cape that I wear on Gatewalkers. He's here. And he's moving out of the country in a week, so I'm glad I got to spend some time with him. Jeff, who knows, it's a great thing. He's been wanting to do it since high school. Jeff Park is here. Grace, also Jason and Andy from, Jason's the owner of Tabletop Tap down in Inglewood. We were down there last night and he wasn't there. I was disappointed, but he spotted me on the security cam

and he was like, that's good. So he came down and then he just like unloaded all the high end Japanese booze and just started like feeding it to us. Awesome place, Tabletop tap in Englewood. And so, and yeah, and then my sister's Delia and her friend Caroline, who's been to another show. And my sister Catherine, who's never been to a show,

she's here. Along of course with my dad, Mr. Mar, like he's here. Just having a great time. And then, as you know, many of you have listened to our shows for a long time. I know that one of my lifelong dreams has been to be recognized in the local game store here at the Wizard's Chess, where I've been going since, right?

So I was in there the other day to buy this die, and a young woman was helping me, and she turned around, and she was just like, me and she turned around she was just like are you glass cannon I was just like yes I am. I am Mr. Glass Cannon. So that's Keegan she's here from Wizards Chess and then it went in another day because I had to get something else and and the other person who likes us at Wizards Chess recognized me that's Alyssa she's here as well. So thank you

all for coming and yeah. Well isn't it nice to have friends. I've never had a single friend come. And this is the 93rd episode of this show. Friendship is a garden Troy. You have to tend it. Never once. Did he say something mean? It wasn't that mean. I couldn't hear it over his tiny, squeaky voice. The show will be 10 minutes shorter tonight

because of Skids Friendless. I know. I'm sorry. I had to say every name. I'm going to end it in the middle of a sentence. I'll be like, all right, you open the door. Good night. Sorry, we're going to stay on time.

This is fun. I'm glad you guys didn't have a fish concert or some other shitty band to go to tonight. It's good to see that drug addicts can get out of the house every once in a while and come watch a podcast. Fucking weirdos, this town is so horrible. I hate it. No, but listen, I'm glad we've come back for our second and final time. We're gonna have some fun tonight, or not. We're just gonna make it up.

You guys wanna play some pretend? I bet you this crowd is bigger than the stones tonight Probably and twice as high Who's high tonight Fucking liars three people raise their hands Your mom's not looking Your mom's here They're literally being filmed We don't have a camera on them. Don't we?

Give me some hot recap music, something sexy. Something like some Bobby McFerrin. I don't know. What? No! It's a little hot. That was too sexy! That's a little hot. It's a little hot. That was way too sexy.

I mean, I definitely intended it to be a little hot. That was way too sexy. I definitely intended it to be a little hot. Let's turn that down a little bit, please. When I said hot, I didn't mean loud. What do you got Joe? Some sexy recap music? Yeah, let's let's uh, I think this is gonna be a haunting recap. What do you think? I want it to be sexy. This show is mostly porn. Have you been to the last couple shows that we've done? I don't like a wireless mic, but I like that I can hold it and explore space. I don't, I hate this.

I might get out there later, what do you think? Well now that you want it, I'm not gonna do it. Alright, recap! Oh baby! So fucking tired, shut up. This episode is brought to you by Dragon Ball Legends, the mobile fighting game. Dragon Ball Legends is the first card-based fighting mobile game based on the widely popular Dragon Ball anime series. This impressive game, based on the adventures of the Dragon Ball characters, has high-quality

3D graphics and authentic voice acting. Relive your favorite moments and fight scenes with epic cinematic. From Kid Goku to Beerus, you can collect and train all your favorite characters. The game allows you to collect them all, from all Dragon Ball sagas, including Dragon Ball Super. Fight with Goku, add him to your team, and use the intuitive controls to battle players around the world in friendly matches. Challenge your friends, compete in leagues

to rank up the leaderboard, and defeat powerful foes in co-op. Are you ready to become a legend? Download Dragon Ball Legends for free on iOS or Android. This episode is brought to you by PC Optimum. If you like a curated playlist, Dragon Ball Legends for free on iOS or Android. Use similar items at a lower cost. Add coffee to your list, then swap it for one that's cheaper. Craving chips? The app will suggest some on sale. To get started, just open the app.

It's as easy as that. See the PC Optimum app for details. What a long, strange journey it's been thus far. If you were writing in the yearbook of this show, that's what you'd write in the margins. That's a good one. Sorry, wake up, fella. I got a show to do.

Here's a straight dope. Just trying to speak the kid's language. Once upon a time, as all stories begin, a count by the name of Hazardton Lyles IV drugged a bunch of his employees and took them to another dimension where he had their memories erased. You with me so far?

Yeah. All right, it's gonna take some weird turns from there. He then came back and had them all committed to an asylum, each in their own fugue state. Why did he do all this? Well, Count is by all accounts a loser. An O'Brien, if you will. He wanted so badly to be a respected scholar,

an academic, but all of his writings were a public embarrassment. Rather than giving up though, he rededicated himself to his craft. I'll show them, he thought. I'll uncover forbidden knowledge and I'll show them all. Ha ha ha ha. He probably laughed. But in this search for knowledge, the Count opened his mind to dark forces beyond our

fictional world, not the least of which being an alien god named Jamin D'or, the Starseed, the Inmost Blot. And this deity compelled the Count to travel halfway across the world in search of a dangerous tome known as the Necronomicon, within which lies a roadmap to a hidden city known as Neruzavan where louts can go and create these portals so Xamandor can come in and lay waste to humanity. Our heroes have left the asylum. They have regained their memories and they have been following in Lao's footsteps every step of the way all the way to a library of the occult known as the Mysterium, where Laos supposedly entered and has yet to come out. Laos and his accomplice, an alchemist named Miachnean Mun,

bribed the keepers of the Mysterium to allow them in, but when they went in, they went to places they weren't supposed to go. And this set off wards, protections. Oh, this place has been around hundreds of years. These wards fired off to protect these interlopers. But Lowell's mere presence, perhaps infected by this God, warped these wards, warped the ghostly presences

that lived in harmony with the keepers of the library. The leader of these keepers, man by the name of Elder Litheen, went in there with a bunch of these other weirdos and said, we're going to get them out. They never came out. Laos, Mun, the people that went in with them, Elder Litheen, and all of these guards have gone in and no one came out. The Necronomicon that Lal seeks is evidently held within an area

of the Mysterium known as the Soul. In order to reach the Soul, our heroes must progress further and further down each level of the Mysterium, but can only do so by finding four angel statues on each level, turning their heads to face the wall, which will open up a passageway to go further down. They went to the first level, the university level, found all four statues, turned their heads, no big deal, descended. But so far on the second floor, the arcana level, every angel statue they've tried to turn the head on, turns right back.

Something is amiss here. And they've been roaming the hallways, inspecting. They've had a battle with a wraith, a pair of proto-shoggoths, two disturbing haunts. And so they've retreated back upstairs a pair of proto-shoggoths, two disturbing aunts. And so they've retreated back upstairs to the university level, to this circular chamber up in the rafters where the keepers, the elder keepers would go to levitate and meditate.

It is a safe place for them to rest. So they've begun to rest. And Shitbird over here... goes to sleep. Oh his eyes and he is not in this circular room. He is in a wasteland, a barren plain and then sees this little like rocky cliff flicker into existence and then sees a figure flicker into existence, not too far away. A conical figure with several appendages and a weird fucking head. And then an old Kalashite woman standing in front of it.

The thing all of a sudden has her head. She has all these appendages. Then it's right in front of Atticus and it reaches out and touches his face You wake up You're back in this circular room Suki is a weird snorer Snoring in British. Mimi, Mimi, Mimi, Mimi, Mimi, Mimi. He like gently pushes her over to the side.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! What? What was it? What happened? You were snoring. Shhh. Quiet down. Don't wake me up if I'm snoring. That's extremely rude. You woke me up with your snoring. I was trying to make it so you didn't choke on your own phlegm. Erichus, Erichus, you never wake a sleepwalker. You should know this.

Aldo, are you awake? I am now. Is everyone awake? Did you just wake everyone up? You shrank to the top of your lungs, you've been on edge in this haunted temple. Sorry, Atticus punched me. Ethel is still asleep, I swear. Oh, that's alright. Somebody wake Ethel.

There's a lot of people in this room I should mention. There is Suki, played by Sidney Emanuel. Alright, we can't do this for everybody. So just me. Atticus played by Joe, Eris played by Kate, Ethel played by Matthew, and you can clap for Skid. Aldo played by Skid. But that's not all! There's also Tiny Murder Clown and a local priest by the name of Father Richard Bubbles. There's a guy in the front row that I think mimicked the feelings of a lot of people in the audience.

At the mention of Father Richard Bubbles, he simply went... There's two reactions to Richard Bubbles. That one and then this one. That's the international symbol for Richard Bubbles. He's a very sexy priest who has not finished his vows and it appears he's trying to get with everyone in the group, but he really just wants to heal them. Here's the problem. One of these things that went off on the second level of the Mysterium was this curse.

You've determined it's a curse. And Aldo, Tiny Murder Clown, and Father Dick have all been cursed by this thing, which has left them stupefied one, mechanical nonsense if you're into the game, and they're all growing like mushrooms and toadstools out of their skin. Father Dick replied, I was tested recently. I'm cool. But clearly he is not cool. But clearly he is not cool. Atticus upon everybody sort of, not everybody, but everybody but

Athel sort of loosely waking. I was going to say, I saw something in my dream. It was, I would not take any vision for granted in this place. And we all know that the dream lands are not so far out of reach. Perhaps someone is trying to contact us. There was a woman, an older woman, Keleshite, who seemed to transform into this creature that I've seen before. What did she say? What did she do? She tried to reach for me. She did not speak. She maybe was trying to communicate something. Hold on, sit down and Suki will

take out some of her sage from her robe, and she lights it. And I would like to roll. That sage is soaking wet. It will not burn. Must dry it first. It's not really burning, it's just kind of smoking and smoldering. Well, that's fine, we don't need the sage. And she holds Atticus's little rat face by his temples and I'm going to roll my

dream lore to see if I can decipher possibly what this means. Oh wow. Wow. A little dream lore? Okay. Dream lore. So I don't have to lore alone Oh, the train we ride Can we turn it up? Can we turn it up a little bit? Please turn that down, please Just a little bit Don't listen to him Not gonna lie

My children can't hear it in New York Please turn it down 27 for the dream lore Oh, the dream lore Come here come here to kiss give me a head wait what why you got tiny hands I don't like this. Very uncomfortable. I'm seeing something. Harry, are you getting this? Not the hair!

Let's make a next year's sizzle. All right, so you do your dream lore. Atticus explains... What did you do? Had a stage entry. It's really hard to do a broken mind meld when your hands are that small. All right, you do your dream lore. Atticus explains to you what he saw and you try to like make sense of it all.

Remember. With a 27 in dream lore. You think about how ever since you got to Casimir you started hearing actually this goes back to the Oasis the mad poets Oasis After you defeated your reflections of yourselves and the mad poet walked into his hut, you heard a voice, a whisper in all of your minds and that whisper, that voice has followed you to Casimir. Oh yes.

As well as to wherever the shit you are now, Kadira kathyr kathyr thank you Look at here is in Kadira That's like saying I went to the Celtics game last night in America You've been hearing these whispers You've been hearing these whispers, and you think this is somehow connected. That this person, this being, this entity that is reaching out to you, this voice that you keep hearing, talking to you like this, is somehow connected to this.

And you felt like this person this being was reaching out to try and tell you something it's it's it's like giving you information that you don't understand but also guiding you perhaps does it feel malicious no seeing it no no it was a tender touch and I've seen this creature before oh it gave me great gifts I Could not say that it was malicious snow Sukhi's thinking and she's recalling kind of saying it as Atticus is talking That which should not be has been birthed within this place is poisoned you must staunch the wound

Well clearly we need to go deeper is that correct everyone we Have to continue of course we must find out how to turn this heads of these statues We can't do anything until a little wakes up So could you? heads of these statues. We can't do anything until Aethel wakes up. So... Eris, could you... Eris is starting to pray over Tiny Murder Clown. Hee hee hee! Oh yeah!

Eris, Eris! Whatever that means for her, but she's like... Hee hee hee, I don't feel so well! That's pretty good. No, no, no, I'm going to help you with this curse. Don't worry about it. Don't waste a spell on me. I'm not here.

Eris, perhaps... Perhaps what? Perhaps... Perhaps... Perhaps Aldo could use your prayer as well. Yeah, no. I mean, I've got a bloody portobello growing out of my neck. I mean, I think I love Tiny Murder Clown as much as the rest of us, but I think I'm he's too far gone

I think we have to leave tiny murder clown. You're used to things like in your neck what? Right. I'm sorry. I'm Stupified one so don't help my best friend first. I should mention. I am also ill I have while you were talking about your dreams, I went to relieve myself in the corner. I have to touch when I do this, and I do not want to touch you. What I was going to say is there are mushrooms everywhere. So if you would like to help me, I would like that as well. The mad god will bless you.

like that as well. The mad god will bless you. How many people can you heal? Like one every eight hours. No, I should be the priority. Are there any Australians here tonight? That's ridiculous. This is Colorado. I'm just asking. All right, that's ridiculous. This is Colorado I'm just asking Yeah, no I should be first of the list can we at least draw lots of something so we can be fair Maybe we should do a roll-off

Let's do a roll. Yeah Well, I mean it will mean If we It takes two to get to Aldo, it will mean we just have to stay here another entire day. Well, if you want me to help Aldo first, then I would like a raise. And I would like some job security for me and Ethel. Well played, Eris. Wow. I'm sorry I've taken a vow of poverty.

I cannot pay. Oh, you're not talking to me. Go back to sleep, Dick. Your services are not needed here. Aldo, she makes a good point. What? He's very sick. I do it I don't think I have leprosy no I think it's just a mushroom fungal infection. No what are you asking? Eris needs to heal you. I think so yes that's what I'm saying. All right well

Tiny murder cloud I'm going to do him before my best friend then I expect everything that I just said and that's a Contract now between us, so thank you very much. I get more money and Ethel and I don't get fired We're split up. You can have to register this relationship with HR before we do anything We're split up. Well, you're going to have to register this relationship with HR before we do anything. Yes, I think that, look, a raise is quite difficult as we all split all of the profits evenly already. If you do want to make your relationship with Ethel official, we could certainly do that.

Am I? I think we should just be allowed to be who we are without our job getting in the way. Yes, of course. Perhaps he should be involved in the conversation. You don't like labels, okay? Pepsi should be involved. Suki also can't hear what you're saying. Pepsi should be involved in the conversation.

I really want to hear what Pepsi has to say about this whole thing. I think Pepsi agrees with you, Eris. Yeah, we don't like labels and you guys are trying to push that on us and it's stressing us out and hurting our relationship so leave me alone and I'll heal. I'll help the curse for Aldo. Alright, we will not mention it again. Stop watching us when we make out. It's weird. That is a despicable accusation. I would never dream. Uh-huh. Okay. Now that we have that straight.

Let's talk about the mechanics of remove curse. Well, it's break curse. It is not. It's break curse. It's pretty sweet new feat that I took. It's a general feat. Because I'm a master in occultism, I can spend eight hours praying or performing occult rites over the target, weakening the curse's power over them. I can attempt to counteract the curse using occultism for

my counteract check. Half my level rounded up to counteract. I see a lot of text. And then break curse takes 10 minutes of prayer. Every spell should be two sentences. This is not difficult at all. It's gonna be fine. All right. We got this. Go ahead and roll occultismact check against the original DC against the counteract DC of the curse Half my level rounded up don't worry about that just do the People play Monopoly 36 Puppily. 36. All right. Big math, sorry. You have broken Aldo's curse.

Yes! The mushrooms wither and crumple on your skin, leaving behind fungusy scabs. For a half an hour, she was just saying really creepy stuff and moving her chicken hands around and touching your arm. Scabs for half an hour. She was just like saying really creepy stuff and like Moving her chicken hands around and like touching your arm. Oh god Yeah, so the minute he's over he just like jump as a Thank you, I'm exhausted

Father dick is like ha ha ha ha he's got mushrooms growing out of his tongue You made the right choice. I'm stupefied. And Tiny Murder Clown is like, I don't feel so good. Hee hee. And he just sits on the floor and falls asleep and a giant mushroom grows out of his face. No. Perhaps we should stay until Eris can pray over all of them. It will take quite some time.

Let the clown rest. I'll come with you. What? All right, we shall return and take care of Tiny Murder Clown. Well- Our task is urgent. We can't stay here. We have to go.

Yes, agreed. Let's go. Tiny Murder Clown, Good luck. We have to go. Yes, agreed. Let's go. Tiny murder clown. Good luck. We'll be back. Good luck? I mean, we'll be back. Good luck.

Goodbye best friend. Dick? Yes. Don't look at me, I'm hideous. Wait, Father Dick. I never wanted you to see me like this. Father Dick, would you like to say a few words over the corpse of Tiny Murder Clown? He's not dead! I'm sorry, I'm a bit confused. I'd like to

say a few something like this. It's not usually quite so loud, but I think it captures the spirit of how we all feel about him turning into a mushroom. That was very funny. Very funny, yes. I don't feel so well, very funny, yes. I don't feel so well, but let's adventure. Father Richard, could I talk to you for a moment? What's that beautiful?

Remember there's mushrooms coming out of his mouth. Every time your mouth opens, I hear poetry. Every time my mouth opens, I feel things. MATT and SAM and MARISHA and the rest of the cast are in the room. I don't think we should travel together anymore. Whoa. Ooh. Is it my mushroom penis? I'll have you know that was a pre-existing condition. Condition? I promise you. You can achieve great things with a mushroom penis, it's been proven.

It's really not. I just don't think that you're right for a party, and I'm sorry to say that. Well, I can take a hint. One minute you're a handsome priest, the next minute you're a monster. It's fine. Everyone, it seems that Suki doesn't want me to be a part of this group anymore. It's fine. It's fine. I love how he's just pacing around the room, just like pissed. Feeling a little dizzy. Hello, Aldo. Look at you.

I just think, perhaps... Yes, hello, rat. I just think, perhaps, Father Dick Bubble should stay. No, get just think perhaps. Yes, hello rat. I just think perhaps. Handsome. Father Dick Bubble should stay. Get away from me. No. Do you have any more of that removed curse? All right, it's fine.

I'll just stay here and grow. I guess I won't be a part of this adventure any longer. If that's what you all want. Is that what you want, Suki? Suki? What is wrong with you? You were just in love with him. Is it the mushrooms? We can get rid of the mushrooms. It's not the mushrooms. I think Suki takes a deep breath, kind of rolls her eyes a little bit.

She's seen men like this. She's 190. She turns back. I suppose it's a group decision. Eris, if you'd like to heal him, I suppose we can wait another eight hours. I mean I can in eight hours maybe we can still bring him with us and just in eight hours and we don't have to stay in the room.

It's not like he helps in combat anyway. Right that's what I'm saying. So let's bring him with us. So you think we should go? Unless you think we should leave him. What are you guys talking about? Oh. Hello. Should we go and then just come back?

I have an idea. I feel a little silly in the head. Perhaps I've said some things out of turn. Yes, I'm covered in mushrooms that seem to be growing, even as I speak. Perhaps we go and continue to adventure. And then the next time we rest, you do your witchcraft over my body, just as you did Aldo. Okay. I don't know. Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease, if you know what I mean.

Don't understand what you're saying. It's because you're stupefied one! I was you once! I feel like a fool, a fool in love with God! Let's go! Watch me jump. Hello. Wait, don't. Oh no. Father bubbles. Father. Ethel has slept through all of this. I'm really hurt. Why did I jump down that ladder?

Ethel, wake up. We're leaving. I'm very badly burned. Why did I jump down that ladder? Ethel, wake up, we're leaving. I'm very badly-behaved. What do you want to do? You want to go to the Mysterium level, backed to? Oh my god, wake it up. Ethel! And he wakes up and buries his hatchet in Atticus's chest. No, Ethel! No! Oh god! Father Bubbles! Save us!

He coughs blood all over your face. Sookie heals Atticus. What the fuck is going on? He tried to kill me. Atticus? Does everyone agree? No. No, Athel. No. Did you have any dark dreams last night? Yeah, you want to hear about them?

Yes. So there was this time I took my wife to this nice restaurant. If it does not have a direct relevance to the Mysterium itself, I'm honestly, no, no, no. Wait a minute, you were married? Why is this the first we're hearing about this? Well it's a little bit of a raw spot for me, if you know what I mean. Oh, oh.

I think we should preface every question before we ask it. Is the dream about your wife? Never mind. Ex-wife. Sorry. It's an important detail. Ex-wife. Yes, Eris, I understand. Ex-wife. Sorry. It's an important detail. Ex-wife, yes, Aeris, I understand.

Ex-wife. Yes. We sign the paperwork and everything. A single tear starts to drip down. Oh my god. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. Aeris walks over and licks it.

Oh my god. Wow. What do you want from me? What do you want from me? What do you want from me? How was the flavor of that one? Oh. She doesn't answer you with words. Suki goes down the ladder. Right, Suki.

Oh, hello. Father Dick, are you coming? No, no, I wouldn't dare touch it. I'll stay here with you. We go. We go. We move the story forward. Yeah, let's go. Let's go!

I thought you were pretending to be a caveman. We, we go, we go. We go, we go. We go, we go. We go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go,

we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we go, we him. Oh yeah! I got to admire Troy's restraint in waiting till now to do this. Oh, look at us back here. Did I drag all the pawns? No, we're missing the rat. Where is he? Do you guys see yourselves? Yes. No. There you are. Oh, I can't. There's this half-nude man in the way. You can X him out.

All right, so you're back on level two of the Mysterium after 45 minutes of nonsense. Why do they never finish this? You have explored the hallway in the middle center and a wraith came out of the walls. Father Dick recognized a body on the floor. Mickey Weatherstone was his name. Then the ghost of Mickey Weatherstone, a giant version of this ghost reached out and hurt you, drained you, which you recovered while you slept. You then pressed on. You went backwards. You saw this angel statue to the waist. You fought two proto-shugoths, these Lovecraftian oozes.

That's when Tiny Murder Clown came out of a little crack in the wall and helped you, conveniently. You then traveled to the north, the north-west of this map, and a, phwoom, this like sphere covered you all and tried to blast you with energy, but you Atticus were able to dispel the magic before it did damage to you found another angel statue tried to turn it it would not turn it just kept turning back into place you continued over to the east another little section the whole all the walls here are covered in bookcases full of

books you started to look at the books in this room in the northeast and that's when you became cursed so you started going down the hallway to the south and then you were like, you know what, we need to go rest. Actually there was one more room you found that had dead bodies in it and Father Dick remarked that the body of Elder Lethene, living or dead, was not in that room, but those were keepers. They all had the sigil of Nethus on them. He said a prayer over their bodies as you all rudely left the room.

So it seems like there are at least two areas in this hallway that you've yet to explore. There is the southeast corner of the map where you saw an opening that led further east. And then there was a door to the south of the Proto Shugoth fight that was closed. What do you do? Let's go to the south-east where the Proto Shagoth fight was and check out that door.

Did we check out the door before? Was it locked? You didn't check it out, man. All right, let's check it out, man. All right. Move your pawns to the south-west. Oh, Ethel. So I'm pinging. Can you see my ping? Ethel, you're going the wrong way. That's the south-west.

So I'm pinging. Can you see my ping? Yes. That's the southwest. Oh. No, that's... Weest. I said south-west. South-weest. You of all people should know what I mean.

Have you ever listened to the Glass Cannon podcast, Matthew? We like to play with words. Having a little chill at Hearing Troy. All right. So, you go to this door Let me give you a little flavor about this door because it looks fucked up Who has who has light also really dark yeah, can you cast some light on us? Yeah, you want to cast light?

No Morat's I see perfectly fine. Yeah, it's pretty dark. Ummm... Yeah, no. I did not prepare it. Ha ha ha ha ha! Just forgot light. Sorry, humans.

I cast light. Yeah. Okay. Obviously I have that cantor prepared. What idiot would it? Wait, I have light. But it only lights my square. Bathe me in your light, Father Duke. What's that? I said bathe me. Bathe you?

In your holy light. You want to be bathed in the light of Nethath? Sorry, there's a mushroom on my tongue. It's very hard to speak. Here is the light of Nethith. Suki casts light and moves it close enough so it's on everyone but Ethel. Wow. So you want me to stay in the dark with Father Dick, is that it? That was a better volume, right? Suki, do you say that out loud?

I've seen weirder things in this mushroom, Dick. Ethel, uh, Ethel's a real mess. I told you not to talk about that. All right. Can I have some light? Yeah, I'm busy. The heavy wooden doors in front of you, bound with iron. I cast light.

All right, I'll deal with it in a second. Light, fine. Ooh, yeah! You can see the map. No, we can't. So, we'll just do that. It's very immersive. Alright. You want light or you want flavor text?

Light. Fuck. Or you can know those toasts. Say something funny. Alright, wait. Something's really wrong with my VTT. Wait, I just clicked my fantasy football league from two years ago. Oh no.

No, I see my terrible team. Why did I draft him? Oh, I can say something funny. Yeah. Sydney forgot her dice again. Oh my god. Again! Wow.

I got some amazing dice from Laura and Jen. Thank you so much. I'm having a blast. Eww! Eww, that's creepy! It was a natural aid. It wasn't anything cool. Natural 2.

Yeah, that's not getting better. Your creepy finger hands are gonna be worse. Don't touch me with them! It's a natural 8 again. You know what? May I take it back? This ice is okay. Just kidding, just kidding. Thank you. Still working on that light There you got your light. Yeah There we go Cuz I'm proud to be an American

Cuz I put some light on the man We're ready for flavor sex all right Heavy wooden doors in front of you bound with iron. They bear deep gouges and smears of I Corp. Actually reeks of those proto shoggoths you fought just to the north as if perhaps they were trying to slam their way into this room to no avail. In front of the door you see a single boot that looks like it has the foot of a human still in it. Oh no. Oh no. Dips. As well. Dips.

Dips. As well as the grim remains of just the lower jaw of a person. Oh my god. What do you do? Father Dick, do you recognize this boot and jaw? Let me take a look. The jaw.

I look like my jaw. My mouth is getting more and more full with these mushrooms. Have you tried just eating the mushrooms that are growing in your mouth? Oh, could you eat them? Yes, could you just eat them? Hold on.

I don't know how long this will last, but yes, now they're back. All right, no, that jaw. I don't recognize that jar. It looks to be the jar of a man, and that foot bears hair on it. That could be a man or a woman. All right. Do you know what's through the door, Father? That door there. Yep.

Yes. Just the one in front of us. No, I was never allowed to come down to this. What? I really shouldn't be talking. What? I chewed them again. The mushrooms are growing back.

I was never allowed to come down to this level, it's back in my mouth. Well, they're growing so fast. Can anyone check the door for traps? I don't have that power. So fast. Can anyone check the door for traps? I don't have that power. I can heal for one or two hit points, that's about it. Step aside, close your mouth. Every time you open it, mushrooms come out.

All right. Atticus is gonna walk past him, up to the door, and will attempt a perception check. Oh! What? Almost dropped my die Attempt to percept she only on the door 29 It does not appear to be locked or trapped it does not appear to be trapped or locked all right

Steps back Stand back. I ever stand back. Oh, okay. Oh, wait, before we go in, two things. I want Aldo takes out a potion, a rarely used vial of silvery potion from his bandolier, guzzles it, and his limbs crack and lengthen. Oh, nice. As he becomes more and more spider-like

as he takes his quick silver mutagen. Mutagen, whoa! Knocked Troy's GM screen over. A potion so powerful it could knock over GM's screen. Don't do that again, skin! Of a 20 feet away. And the second thing is I forgot. Looks like a college dorm back here.

To mention that my stepmother's sister Stephanie Thompson is, Dr. Stephanie Thompson is also here. Did you get a text about who you forgot? Doctor? No, I just remembered. All right, so you take your mute. What do you guys do? Everybody can you all step up? Step up one spot. But you said step back, Now you're saying step up.

Athel said step back. Step back, so back. Okay. Why? Which one do I do? Do we step up? Up or back? Range might matter is all I'm saying.

Being within 30 feet is a good thing. I open the door. Yeah, okay. It opens in and you're like, dun, dun, it's like barricaded. I kick it in. Give me a check. All right.

What kind of check? Athletics. Yeah, athletics to try and. It'll be athletic. I also got a die from Lauren, right? Yes. And it's blue and I I'm going to roll it now. Natural six.

Ethelfeebly pounds the door. Oh. It like starts to give, it feels like there's something, like a table. It starts to crack open, you see there's a table blocking the doorway. Another punch, little athlete, trying to fucking shove it open. Roll better than a six. All right, let's try this again. Natural one. Oh wow. The door murders you. Natural one. Oh wow. Wow.

The door murders you. Ugh. That's embarrassing. That's embarrassing. I'm just. Do you need help? You can't help but notice how much he's struggling with a simple door.

Do you need help? I got it, I got it, everyone stand back. Do you need my help? I'm very strong. I got it, here I go. I know, doors can be tough. Okay, how does a 33 search? All right.

You open the door. Let me. Who's that? Oh! No! Is that? It's Mon! You son of a bitch!

You? The room is in complete disarray. Aldo, you see past them an alchemist lab set up on one of the two large oak tables Oh shit. that dominate the space. A few of the shelves have been completely cleared of books and they're just fucking tinctures and jars and potions. Throughout the room, a chaotic swirl of yellow hues have been painted, daubed, and scratched

into the walls on the spines of books across the very floor in the back of the room is a very nervous looking man and he's got his back against the wall and he's shaking and he's looking at you and then in front of him nearer to you is a tiny winged creature with a human face just kind of floating near the tables. And while you don't recognize this incredibly strange looking little creature, it just looks like a tiny little floating human.

There is something very similar to the human as to the man in the back. It looks like a smaller fucked up version to the man in the back. It looks like a smaller, fucked up version of the guy in the back. In fact, the guy in the back looks almost identical to the hollow ones that you fought at Munn's house. Back in Casimir, except this one is covered in scars and burn marks all over his face. And so you think to yourself

Is this another hollow one or is this my acne and Munn himself? Oh He's also missing an eyeball There is just an empty eye socket where one of his eyes Should be and as you're standing there There is just an empty eye socket where one of his eyes should be. And as you're standing there, you feel something small float by your heads. And then when it gets to the center of the room, it kind of like flickers in and out. And it is an eyeball. A wizard eye.

With like an optic nerve dangling. Oh man. It just kind of floats over to this Mun who grabs it out of the air and puts it back in. Boo! Oh! And the little floating one, it's just like, eee, hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee. Looks like it doesn't speak any sort of language.

And Mun, or this version of Mun, or whatever the fuck this is he backs against the wall and yells to the floating little man he says little my acne and you're going to have to grow up quickly today these people have come to hurt us after hurting so many things on this level already. We must stop them. We must stop them before Mr. Louse returns with his book. Aldo? Oh, is that you? And he stares at you, Aldo. And you recognize him. He looks much different. He looks scarred and burned. He was not scarred

and burned when you saw him after you landed in Galarian from Australia. Yeah. No, literally, that's what happened. It's not joking. It's what happened. It's part of his backstory. You recognize him. Aldo, is that you? So he rescued me basically from captivity, right? Basically, like, Lyle's kind of rescued you. You were captured by these gnolls and put in a cage. And the impression that you got from Lyle's was that Munn, his accomplice, like saw your formula book and saw a real promise in you. And so Lows was like, you should come work for me. My friend

says, you've got what it takes. And so you would assume that you've spent some time with Munn, but maybe these memories are just like all flooding back to you. So I, and he's, he looks like a mutated freak right now too, because of the mutated. Yeah, he's all messed up and he's petrified, but he stops and recognizes you. He's like, I know you. I know your face, it's changed, but I know you. What's happened to you?

Why are you here? What are you doing here? I have been studying, studying things that even you could not understand. Look at you. You have come so far from the slave markets of the gnolls. One look at your formulae book and I knew you were special. That's why I told Louse to save you. But we got what we needed from you, and you should be dead. Maybe you are dead.

You are dead, and you are here to haunt me, to take from me in little my acne and well good luck you and your ghostly friends will never get me I will finish the job and mr. louse will be very happy with me and he starts reaching into his pouch roll for initiative Oh, this son of a bitch. Oh, make a roll, make a roll for Initiative. Woo-hoo! It's a roll for Initiative train here in Chexnotes, Denver.

Who gave Troy the cheese die to give to me? My man, I love cheese. He really does. And I just rolled a natty 15 on that shit the good a die cheese cheese cheese cheese beef beef beef what was the song we were singing backstage What was the song we were singing backstage? How do you know if Steve really loves cheese? How do you know if Steve really loves cheese? You're not cut off with Glass Cannon, that's hilarious.

Alright, so what's your total? My total is 33. Ooh, little Larry! Burn! Shut up. Sydney saw Dirk Nowitzki on TV today and she goes, Oh little Larry Sydney saw Dirk Nowitzki on TV today as he goes Yeah, like that guy that just retired a couple years ago 15% of the audience laughed not a 70 year old man They're all on your side. Yeah, they're on my they kind of look They kind of look alike. Kidding me, most of this crowd just became a basketball fan last year.

Ethel, what did you get? Oh, I'm saying so. Where's your Russell Wilson jerseys? I'd say something, but it's true. It's actually true. Ethel got a 36. 36! Nice!

Nice! I'm sorry. 38. Oh. I'm sorry. 36 36 Noice! Noice! I'm sorry 38 I'm sorry I already put in 36 And I get a free attempt to demoralize He's already demoralized I do not demoralize

What? I'm sorry I'm trying to emote 35 What? What? I'm sorry. I'm trying to emote 35. Fucking loser. I hate redoing these. Now the whole Larry Bird bit is lost. That's the incredible initiative dance. Yeah. Oh, which I also have.

What did you get? I got a 26, and I also get a is you get I? Got a 26 can also get a free chance to do more. Oh With my battle cry Demoralized 35 oh damn who you demoralize a little flying guy or the guy in the back? Um So wait they have there's a distance limit there is if you see them right it's a battle cry In the back by the way now. Oh look at his face I feel like I'd want to try to demoralize who we think is my acne and moon All right. Well, do you have the distance because I think it's 30 feet, but I could be making that up.

I don't see a distance on Battle Cry. It says observed foe. Okay. You want to do it on Magni Munn? I would like to try with the 35. 35 against my Will Dick? Will DC? Um... Demoralize as a free action. Demoralize... Where is it? Demore. It's Will DC, right? Thank you, madam. Demoralized. He's demoralized.

Yeah! So he's a frightened one. It's the Will DC. Yes, thank you, Kate. You're welcome. Nailed it. Sydney, you didn't bring dice, so you grow a natural one on your initiative.

I got a 36. Whoa, yeah. What'd you get? 36? 36. And then finally Aldo, the hometown boy. I got this my first roll with the The wizard's chest die here It's a 26 total a lot of similar initiatives All right, so this mon whoever he is is frightened. He was already frightened now. He's very frightened

It's round one. It's Ethel's turn. You're all clogged up at there at the door. Father Bubbles rolled a dirty 20. What do I do? Ethel, make Ethel. Okay, Ethel is going to, he's going to do a sudden charge. Ooh. All right, now be aware,

there's a lot going on in this room. Don't just charge through tables. Like this make-believe. This is real life. I didn't break the table I didn't break the table free when I you broke the table that is in front of you I'll let you charge through that but there are other tables in the room, and I know you Matthew you'd be like charge the table I'm a fighter. I'm pretty sure he's just charging straight through the holy man. I Not talking to you. I'm talking to you. All right. You know, I actually don't. Oh, wow. Give me popcorn. Give me popcorn.

Fast. Thank you, Sydney. I think I made my point. Is that how you settle arguments? Usually? That's how we settle arguments. What do you want to do? I'm just going to stride up to the little guy, little myachnium. Kill that freak! I'm going to do a double slice Let's get a good okay here we go. I'm the one show you this guy

Warhammer is a 39 to hit the whole my god AC45 wait did you really roll up 39? Yeah. Yeah Wait, hold on. Come on Don't lie this popcorn's delicious 39 huh, that's 39. Mmm regular hit not a crit Holy shit, and then with the hatch and then with the hatchet that is going to be a 40 to hit. Oh Hit not a crit All right, I wish I had an extraction, because I could flimz. But let me do damage here.

I got buttery fingers. Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing to this thing? OK, it's 17 points of bludgeoning damage. Four points of cold damage. Oh! And then. damage, four points of cold damage, and then 18 points of slashing damage.

Nice. Wow. All right. So pretty solid Demagio there. You move up two attacks? Double slice. Yes. Double slice. Double slice. No crits. All of Demagio there, you move up two attacks? Double, yes. Double slice. Double slice.

No crits. And then I'm done. But you still did very good and I'm proud of you. I don't say it often enough, but dammit, I'm proud of you. Thanks, Troy. You came into this podcast an unknowing child Now look at you with your beard and your coat you're doing all right in my book That is a sign of respect amongst my people. Sugi! Yep.

We're playing Pathfinder. Oh, I'm so ready. I knew exactly what I was going to do. Be careful. Be careful, Sul'Kin! What did you say? The room is yellow! Father Dick, are you telling me the room is yellow?

That's what I said, be careful! Stop talking! Everything tastes terrible. It gets so much worse every time you open your mushroom mouth. I think you're shallow. What? I said it was not about the mushrooms. Don't you bring this up right now before I go into battle. Anyway, I walk into the room and I'm going to fucking do... What, are you going to roll to decide what you do?

Gonna cast Searing Light. What? Searing Light. On? On the flying little Mayaknian. Oh, little Mayaknian. I don't like that he calls him that. It freaks me out. freaks little my acne and this guy's all about making things of himself How'd you roll there Sydney I Can see you have my eye Joe let me use his stupid dice Sydney I offer I gave her the worst die I have. And you rolled it pre-show minimum five times

and rolled nothing below 13. And I thought it was a one for a second, so I got really mad. It's just a seven, it's a miss. Okay. Well, well let's see. It's a 27. Miss.

Yeah, it's a miss. Yeah, I knew that. That's a miss. Miss. Yeah, it's a miss. Yeah, I knew that. That's a miss. Why are you making this? You're slowing the show down, Sydney, come on. And Pepsi is going to move into the room to the left of Suki, and that is my turn. Okay, where's Pepsi?

I removed him, because I don't like him. Pepsi is theater of the mind. Pepsi is whatever you want him to be. Atticus. Atticus. All right. Atticus is going to enter as well. Actually, no, fuck it. No need. Ethel open the door. He sees the distance, judges it accurately. And he is going to... Boop. A little pea-sized orange ball. Yes! Yes!

Of fire! Much like that eyeball, it drifts slowly through the door, A fire! Much like that eyeball, it drifts slowly through the door, slowly past Ethel's ear, past that freaky, flying thing's ear, and just in front of Mun, enough so that both the flying thing and Mun are within 20 feet, will BOOM! Fireball. Yeah. Heightened, heightened Fireball to a level to a rank 4 spell so go ahead and give me a reflex save. Alright, little Miacnian rolls a 26. Okay. Big Miacnean rolls a... 41.

Oh wow. Really? Alright, so Big Miacnean is critical. 40 because he's frightened. Fail. Sorry, sorry, sorry, success. 40 is a fail? Success, not critical success because of the frightened. Wow!

Sorry, that was a huge difference. And Frightened definitely affects saves, right? Yeah, okay. Not too shab-a-roo. Alright, so to Flying Myaknian, that's 31 points of fire damage. Oh! Wow. And to my acne and 15 points of fire damage. Oh! Nice. Have a little fire, scarecrow. And then he... Wait, how much was it? I wasn't listening. It was 31 to the flying creature and 15 to Munn.

And then he is going to recall knowledge on the flying creature. Okay, it can fly. I'm going to recall knowledge on the flying creature. What do you want me to roll? Occultism? Religion? Arcana? Put his what? I'm trying to do something. Roll whatever you want. Okay. Alchemy.

Occult or alchemy? I know you don't have alchemy. Uh, I'll do a cult. That is a 37. Mmm. What is this strange creature, and what are its weaknesses? I watched some, uh, Fullmetal Alchemist on the plane, right? Oh, hell yeah. Oh, hell yeah, brother. Wow, that is a lot of Fullmetal Alchemist fans.

Oh! I take it, I took like a year off, and so I was like, I gotta, I gotta get back into this, I wanna finish this. It might be the greatest anime ever made. He's watching Brotherhood, he's watching Brotherhood. Don't worry, don't worry, it's Brotherhood. And I even make this connection today.

As I'm watching it, I was like, oh cool, yeah, this is great. And the connection is, you recognize this, you've heard of this sort of like dark forbidden alchemy where one has created a homunculus oh we all know that episode oh yeah full metal alchemist fans are loving loving. You just gotta watch, just watch up to the dog episode and you're hooked forever. Yes, exactly.

Just get to the dog episode. Yeah, just, yeah. You'll be like, oh, that's the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. So it's a homunculus, that's all you know. No, you wanna know something about it. A weakness or a resistance. Weakness or a resistance, yeah, it has a lot. about it. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm something that's going to help you. They are immune to lots of things, so keep that in mind. I'm going to give you one of those things.

There is no point in fighting it. Lay down your arms. They're immune to bleed. Bleed? That was a 37 and second Atticus says nothing to anyone I submit to you exhibit B Why it is difficult for us to recall knowledge in this come yeah all right? Why it is difficult for us to recall knowledge in these companies. Yeah. Alright, yeah, so he knows nothing of value. I think that's pretty good.

But he knows he created it. Forbidden alchemy. I will destroy you and your experiments. Though, I would like to know a little bit more about how you know Aldo. Take him alive! He says to father bubbles. Is that the end of your long term? That is his turn.

Alright, it's my acne and mon question marks 10. Are you going to go to the bathroom? I have to leave the theater to do it. I was going to... And yes. I thought you could make it through the end of the show. You're really going to walk through the crowd? I'm going to high five every single person.

Look at them go, folks. Look at him go, folks! Look at that man pee! It's running down his leg! Let's talk about him while he's in there. It's weird that he can hear us. He's right there in that bathroom. Some of you may have peed in that very bathroom where Joe O'Brien is now peeing. We could all go join him if you wish. Harry, get that camera on him. Let's see that little guy in action. Shake it to the pee cam. Let's see that sad old pee stream in action. Weird opening to Glass Can in Denver on the YouTube video.

Well, when they said they were getting into streaming content, I wasn't exactly sure. Hey! Bottle cap! Damn it. Damn, he's good. Yes! Damn it. Damn, he's good. Audience chanting, dead or sick! I just love how Joe's in the bathroom right now.

He's hearing the most applause ever. What a fun life we have. All right, let's fuck you guys up. It's my acne and mun's turn. Let's get funky. Suki, you are standing there alone. With Pepsi. Women are allowed to be alone. But you're not standing next. Hey! I am a strong, independent elf. You're not standing next to Little Myacnian, which is a big difference maker,

because if he starts throwing bombs, he doesn't want to catch Little Myacnian in his splash zone. So here comes a bunch of bombs in your direction. Oh the first one Man, I have so many bombs I have like 70 bombs Let's see here. I made a cheat sheet of my bombs. Here we go first one This would hit suki and Pepsi? The way that you're throwing it, correct?

I'm aiming you so Pepsi is in the splash zone. Speaking of splash zone, did you make the toilet there, buddy? You should see our hotel room. It's piss everywhere. Oh, I feel so good. That was way... I needed that. Great job. All right, he's frightened. Let's give me a minus one however. This is still gonna be a Hit so much math. Why did you play an alchemist? It's a lot of work

It's maybe you should use Sydney's nails to help you 35 to hit what was that 35 fuck set a crit no 35 to hit. What was that? 35. Fuck. Is that a crit? No. All right.

Well, you're gonna get hit with some acid. Okay. One point of acid damage. However, you're gonna take 3d6 persistent acid damage on your turn, and you'll take three acid splash damage right now, so take four acid damage, give three to Pepsi. Okay. 3d6 on your turn.

Second action. Let me remove one of my greater acid flasks. How about a little fire scarecrow? Ooh, ooh. All right, I've got the map. However, that is gonna be, frightened and everything. I hate, I feel like Sydney doing math.

Hold on, 24. You have been up for like 17 hours. Uh, 34. Wait, are you talking to me? No, I'm asking that guy right there. Does the 34 hit you, sir? He says hit, not a crit. Hit, not a crit. Uh, hits again, yeah.

Alright, this one's fire. This is alchemist fire. I never want to play an alchemist again. Alright, this is gonna- ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 3d8 damage. You ready for this?

Seven. Two. Seven. Fourteen. Sixteen points of fire damage. And you're gonna take three persistent fire and another three fire splash. So excuse me, nineteen points of fire, Pepsi takes three. Zuki's about to get messed up.

You know what though? If you were covered in burn and acid marks, I bet Father Bubbles would still be into you. Wow. It's not about the mushrooms for the last time. What is it then? Is it its personality? Are you talking to me, Ethel? Are you really talking to me? It's just covered in acid right now, by the way.

I look like Two-Face. Are you really? One eye. I'm putting a winged homunculus that he calls Little Myacne in, like his penis. I'm also a winged homunculus that he calls little my acne and like his penis I'm also a little busy That's my extracorporeal flying penis 23 to hit with the final one is yes, okay, so with the last one you're gonna take just three points It's not a critical failure

So it's just three points of cold splash damage. And Pepsi takes the cold splash. On a miss Does the I know critical they don't take the splash but when you miss Yeah, I guess Pepsi would take the three splash as well I don't care about Pepsi literally Pepsi could fly I don't care about your snake could I I hate animal it's Harris's turn Oh Suki just got lit up um persistent persistent Aldo no no, no, Aldo. Atticus, when you did the fireball, that was a fortitude save. Reflex.

Reflex save. And Mon crushed it. And he's like an Olympian. And Ethel. Yeah? Babe, are you going to focus on little myachnian right now? I'm going gonna move on You're gonna go for big my acne in yeah

But you want it you want to tag team it Every time you want to you want to murder someone together just be regular murder So she's going to move into the room. Be like, let's get him, babe. And she casts. I have a name. Oh man. Trouble in paradise.

I'm sorry. She casts blood spray curse Oh my acne and men please give me a fortitude save is this against my homunculus your honkulous is it against mon or the flying guy mon mon all right so what am I rolling a A fortitude save. A fortitude save. Ooh. Sexy. Thirty-one. Thirty-one? Yup. Regular success. Oh, shit. I just read the spell. But, for one minute each time, wait, the first time each round that target takes at least ten piercing or slashing damage from a single strike, it takes 2d6 additional damage of the same type.

Wow! Nice! Yikes! Wow! There's some synergy here between the two young lovers. Maybe we do make a good team. Look at that. Teamwork makes the dream work. Is that the end of your turn? That is the end of my turn.

Folks, give it up for Aldo Casimir. Oh, hello! Hello, hello. There's got to be a lot going on through your head here. This guy represents a part of your past that's been like a mystery to you and it's all flooding back. What do you do? So yeah, he is, and he's, he is very confused. It's like he took like physical damage when he imbibes the Quicksilver Mutagen. Like he suffered 22 points of damage to his like maximum like when he, when he took it. And he's not quite in his right mind and like this is fucking with them definitely. But he also has, right now he has 40 feet

of movement speed because of the mutagen. So he is going to run into the room with this like weird lanky gate. And he is going to throw a greater lightning bomb at the creature and he's and he's gonna make it a sticky bomb which is something that I forgot I can do so let's see let's see if we hit here and I get a bonus to hit because of the mutagen as well. Oh! That is 40. Yeah! That's a 40 to hit.

The wizard's chest! Against the flying creature, yeah? Against the flying creature, yeah. That's a hit. Okay. I'm sorry. No. Sorry. I'm sorry. No.

Sorry. Highest reaching. How much damage there, buddy? He's rolling many, many dice. So many dice. So many dice. Can't be right. Okay.

Um, that's 39 points of damage. Shapers! Holy shit! What kind of damage? Lightning? It is, it is off guard until the beginning of my next turn. Nice. And it has five points of persistent electricity damage.

Oh! Because of the sticky bomb. Let me ask you this, was that all electricity or was that me? Yes, that's all electricity. Okay. Yeah. Alright, so five points of persistent electricity. Nasty.

Alright. And then I have one action left and I'm also- I'm gonna do an alchemical lore of my own. Okay. Nice, nice. To see if I can find out anything else. Nice. How about this dude? Come on. Oh, not so good. do an alchemical lore of my own to see if I can find out anything else. Nice! How about this dude? Come on!

Oh, not so good. That is a 25. Alright. Yeah, maybe you haven't dabbled into creating your own homunculus. But you do know that they are nasty little creatures that usually have this like reservoir of poison within them that they can just keep refilling it's like in their head like their head has this alchemical concoction within that it can use to like poison people okay that's what you know okay and it's its turn no

Little mon little mon Ethel is right there. Let's go to town Fun things to do I'm gonna bite you I Feel a nat 20 come no no no bad when he feels it I don't think so I feel it I can really feel it. I don't think so. I'll get it ready Don't get it ready when he feels it it always happens Natural four It's gonna be a 3000 to hit. 3000?

28? Miss. Yes! Phenomenal. Alright, I'm gonna bite you again. Come on. Don't be ridiculous. Here we go, you piece of shit.

Come on. Puck my ass. Oh my god, like nine die flew out of his tray. So man, this is what Joe feels like every day. Can this do cool stuff? You said it can do so many cool things and you're just biting. I just want to bite you so I can poison you. I'm going to try one more time.

Wow. They always say you should attack three times. He's got something weird going on there. Here we go. Maybe he's not taking a mat. Here we go. Now, now, I felt a nat 20 coming and here it, another four. Yeah!

Neon Green has abandoned him! What a... What a weenie. Speaking of weenies, it's Father Bubbles' turn. What's going on in there? Bubbles, please. Bubbles, please. I don't feel so good.

Bubbles, mmm... Delay. I Remember my first year at the seminary. No God is bombay then yellow Just like my first year at the seminary I'll hold my turn round two It's always true, but it took the five point. Oh, that's right. Yeah, it took the five points of electricity our DC 15 flat 19

But I'll take my five points of electric Round two Ethel and the will stride up to mon. Oh And I will double see live an attack of opportunity does it you don't know anything Ethel will stride up to Munn. Mmm. Ooooooooh. And I will double slice. We'll see if I have an attack of opportunity. Does it. You don't know anything. Reactive Jon, you may continue.

Okay. Double slice. Oh, okay. That's a 39 on the Warhammer. And on the hatchet, this is the important one, a 41. Oh, and a hit and a crit. So you also get the extra 2d6 on the hatchet for my curse walking in my office okay 22 points of bludgeoning damage

oh one point of cold wait I need my calculator are you playing fantasy football right now? no what's like fantasy canadian football? it's like june wait how much damage? what did I say? No. I caught my mom. It's like fantasy Canadian football, it's like June. Wait. Wait, how much damage? What did I say?

14 bludgeoning. Two. Two total. 22. 22 bludgeoning and one cold. Okay. One cold. So 23 points of damage.

Okay, now with Blood Spray Curse, do I double those damage dice on the conic rip? I mean it's for what it's worth. I think it's persistent Yeah, every time additional damage takes at least yeah, I think like persistent is separate, but everything else would be doubled would be doubled. Yep. Ah, there it is. More damage. 32 points of slashing. Nice.

Wow. You're still giving me damage? And then an additional six points of slashing. Wow. Awesome. Oh. Nice round, Ethel. Munn says, oh!

Oh! Oh! Are you done? Munn says, oh! Oh! Oh! Are you done? Yes. Oh. Synergy. Suki.

Dude, that double slice worked. Suki, you are covered in acid and you are on fire. What do you do? Do you want me to take the damage first? No, you do that at the end of your turn per the rules of Pathfinder second edition. When do I make the flat check? At the also at the end so after the damage. You're gonna make so many flat checks. Yeah all right Suki's going to move between Eris and Dick. Nooner! Oh you having a Nooner over there?

That's nice. I like that. What are you doing? I am going to do... Bluegate! You're on fire! I'm just gonna do Produce Flame, heightened. Okay. So, I'm gonna just try to hit.

Oh boy. Are you gonna try and hit the homunculus? Yeah, sorry, the homunculus. Alright, I'm gonna do my... Okay. Okay. Bye. Oh! Are you gonna try and hit the homunculus? Yes, sorry, the homunculus. Alright, I'm gonna do my little wave of goodbye. Oh, 31. That is so, but you're off guard. Fuck, yes!

Yeah! Yes! Stupid. Alright, so. You don't deserve that hit. Okay, I just need to do the damage. One, two, three. Man, that's something. That's going to be 20 points of fire damage.

Wow, nice. Nice. Ow! And as my third and final, oh no, that was two, sorry. And then Pepsi is just going to move. Command Pepsi. Pepsi's not on the map, so it's confusing, and I forget that he exists. He's gonna move next to me and Father Dick Bubbles.

Oh, that's a good-looking pawn for Pepsi. Oh, oh wow. Look at that respectable token. He's growing up. He grows up so fast. Respectable token. All right, take three fire damage, and then take... You ready for this?

This is going to be so hot. Burning through your skin. Five... Oh, not bad. Six points of fire. So total of nine points... Excuse me, six points of acid. Total of nine points of damage.

Now give me two flat checks. first one will be for the fire Do you see 15? 15 oh Good that's the shitty one get that acid get it 15 That was awesome. That was cool. You suck. We filmed you peeing. Atticus, you what? You what? Atticus, I don't know much about your creation, but I know the mind of a psycho. I think... This is interesting. Oh yes, he looks across at Mon,

seeing how he so deftly dodged the explosion of fire. He's like, perhaps you are strong of body, but not so much of mind. You know what it will be that gets you in the end? It will be Louse himself. Your hair's getting really gray on the side. Yeah. I had a haircut recently and I was like, that shit's not even gray, it's white. You're in your Reed Richards phase, enjoy it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, oh, that's a good way to look at it. You look like Dr. Strange gave up. No. Or is having a good time. Yeah. Two ways to think about it. All right.

He's going to do an incantation and Lows is going to see a vision of his own death. Lows or Mun? Mun. Mun. What he sees is Lows. Lows disappointed in him, seeing him not making the grade and executing him on the spot. Nice. Please roll a will save. That's pretty good, O'Brien.

That's pretty good. Will save. Here we go. Uh, that's not a good roll. I have very good will, though. 31. Oh, just a success, you lucky fucking bastard. Okay. All right, so on a success, real legendarily bad roll. You are, oh god, that was terrible. You take 12 points of mental damage

and you are frightened one. Okay. Ooh. All right. So yeah, not all I was hoping for, but Hey, everyone. I rolled five ones. While you keep that breaks. On 6d8.

Wow. I'm sorry, 8d6. Five ones. Okay, is that the end of your sad turn? Uh, no, no, it is not. I am going to spend an action to aid Aldo in his next attack. Yes. Okay.

It's my Acne and Mun's turn? Now, with Ethel right there, that's a real pickle for my ranged attacks. These guys are not fans of Acne and Man. They've seen enough alchemy. He's going to step back. My name is Ethel Merman and I'm here to murder you. Which coincidentally was the catchphrase of the real Ethel Merman. That's right, that's right. He's going to step back and going to throw Alchemist's Fire at you.

He's frightened. This might be a crit. I'll tell you what. Yeah. Who said that? Alright. It is gonna...fuck me, this is so ridiculous. 40...

42, minus one for the frightened, 41. That's a hit not a crit Nice Hate this game. All right 3d8 Damage now, they're very nice. Oh eight on the first day one of the All bounces out and a three what a terrible roll.. Alright, so 12 points of, excuse me, plus the splash is going to be 15 points of fire damage and then you're going to take three persistent fire. Second attack.

I can't wait until this turn is over. I've got, let's see, I'm tracking my bombs here. Don't track your bombs. Don't track your bombs. I played by the rules. We did in six minutes. Acid, acid, miss. But not a fumble.

You'll take three acid splash. That was a real shitty turn for this guy you've heard about for a long time. Okay, it's Eris's turn. Guy you've heard about for a long time Okay, it's Eris's turn I Want to try to do so you all kind of want to take who we think is my acne and mon possibly alive? I'd be totally down with that. I think we should Can I do some sort of knowledge check on tiny Um, can I do some sort of knowledge check on tiny man? Man, man, damage. Good question, good question. Yeah, sure.

Seraphine. 27. Pretty good roll. Pretty good roll. 27, eh? 27. Not bad, not bad. Ooh.

DC by level 28. bad. Ooh. DC by level. 28. No. Stop. So sorry, thank you for playing. Thank you for playing, Pathfinder! I don't know why that's so much funnier with a held mic. It's just the one benefit of a wireless mic. You want to get up and give away a car.

Just like dirty, corrupt game show hosts. Oh, I'm so sorry, it's just the one benefit of a wireless Just like dirty corrupt game show. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's 28 Really yeah, okay, you do it again. I'm gonna know No, I'm just gonna go for it and see what happens like okay to action cast spell please make a basic Fortitude save. A basic Fortitude save for my Homunculus. Come on. It can't be Fortudeness. 38. Okay, that's a regular save. Half Demagio. So it's half damage, but that means it's half of 10d6. Half of 10d6? What's half of 25?

12. 12. 12. 12.5. 12 points of damage as she reaches out and tries to attempt to rip the spirit out of this tiny little miacra. And maybe she gets close and then it just zaps back into you, but you still take some damage I like that little ricochet action

Aldo negative damage wait that was negative damage Yeah They can't be immune to negative. He could be weak. He was immune to a bunch of stuff wait Do we see avoid in the remaster perhaps okay? All right cool? Looks like it hurt him Aldo Got hurt he squealed you couldn't tell if it was joy or pain What if it heals it it's's not undead good. It could be it could know it could be I

Doubt it's on it probably not but Okay, this will find out could be a construct Aldo. You are up. Okay, so Aldo I think is he's focusing fire on the homunculus because it's like in his Somewhere in his subconscious. He wants to preserve Munn's life so he can talk to him about what's going on you know so he's going to attempt to throw another greater lightning bomb at that creature okay it is no longer off guard at the moment Oh 38 there you go buddy that's a hit all right and I busted out the old dice roller to save some time here okay 28 points of damage okay and it is off guard

fair enough and I didn't do the sticky bomb so then with my second action, I am going to throw a blight bomb. A blight bomb? I'll throw a little blight bomb. All right. Wow. Okay, so that is 36. That's a 36 to hit. Wow. That's a 36 to hit.

That's a hit. Okay. So, so sorry about this. Do the blight thing. Oh, okay, so that is 31 points of poison damage. Oh, oh, poison damage? Yeah, it was. It doesn't seem to have affected him at all.

I fucked up, I fucked up. Oh no. I was trying to do something different and I fucked up. He he he he he. All right, so. You should know by now, there's no credit for being creative. I know.

So with my third action, I'm going to swallow one of my own bombs and kill myself. No! No! Elgo, no! And it works. With my third action I'm going to swallow one of my own bombs and kill myself. No! Elgo, no! And it works. With my third action, I'm going to try to do another knowledge check since I succeeded on the last one, so don't fuck up again.

No, I'm going to go to the bathroom and I'm going to high five everyone on this side. Yay! Get him skinned! Go skinned! Woo! Yeah! Look at him go! Look at the lightness on his feet! Look at him go. So smooth. Skid, that's the ladies' room. That's the ladies' room, Skid. No, I'm just kidding. Who gives a shit?

This is the toilet. Bye, Skid. All right. I've noted that Skid's character is dead. He ate a bomb. I'm going to join him in a minute. It's Little Mon's turn. Look at me! Flies towards Earth. Oh no. Uh-oh. Ethel left her.

Defend us. Oh no, Ethel left her. So she went for herself. Women can be alone. How many times do I have to say this? Women are always saying that. Women can be alone. I like how people are like, yes, yes. We don't know what it means, but it... I'm going to roll my androids and aliens die here. Oh, that is your a and a die

There was an episode that rolled six crits with this beautiful blue Obviously weighted die. What did I do? I'm gonna bite you was that the same episode you use the wrong step lock. Don't worry about it Bite or do I claw how many people want to bite who's into the claw they want to see her diseased I think, but you're not the queen of AC so this is gonna be a Larry 33 Fuck is your problem, dude? Yeah, that is

Let's have fun here we go for the record that would What type of thing is this? Bite piercing damage. You're going to take 19 points of piercing and a couple things are going to happen. Oh no. Give me a fortitude save. Oh, what was in his teeth? Fortitude safe. Oh, you got this poisoning. This is some a melee strike It was a melee strike. Okay, bitch you with this teeth. All right. Well, I'll do my fortitude safe then first, okay Thank you. I appreciate it 21? Maybe I should use my bottle cap. That could be a critical fail zone.

I should use my bottle cap. You got a cap over there? I think I'm going to do that. When did you get a cap? I have one on my sheet. You give it to me all the time. Let me get my jeweler's glass. Make sure that's an authentic cap. Okay. You want to reroll?

Reroll. That's better. 32. Okay. You want to reroll? Reroll. That's better. 32. Yeah! Set of two. 32. Never giving out another cap.

You're fine. Nice! Huge, huge! Did you mark that damage on your sheet? Yeah! Oh, are you done with your cool stuff? Huge huge did you mark that damage on your sheet? Yeah, oh Are you done? No, you're cool stuff. Okay now I'm gonna bite you again No, no, no, no, no, no, no before you bite me again because you bit me the first time and you made a melee attack Against me you see my wound yawn open. I don't like when you use that word. I love doing that

I need you to make a fortitude save against my class DC, or spell DC. Ooh! A fortitude save? Yes, please. Because it's gross. Oh no. Oh!

Oh no. Oh my. 26? Fail! Yes! Oh! Yes! Let's go, give it to ya.

What? Wait for you to get it. Aeris gonna give it to ya. Let's go, deliver it to ya. Aeris gonna give it to you. What? Wait for you to get it. Aeris gonna give it to you. Aeris gonna deliver it to you. Aeris gonna give it to you. Not gonna give it to you. You're gonna bite the grossest person in the room? All right, so you failed, which means you become sickened one.

And you can't recover from the sickened condition while I'm near you. What happens? What happens? What happens when the creature's immune to Sicken! Oh, that's right! He said it! He said it! He did say it.

Boop! When did he say that? He said it. He said it when I did the knowledge check and we were like, that knowledge is useless. Yeah. He said it's immune to Sicken. Yeah. I want a wireless mic all the time.

May I take my final attack? Wait, didn't you... you moved to her. Yep, that was one action. Alright, with the map... You've already attacked twice. Did I? Yes. Everyone has a different opinion. No.

They know. He did not. He did not. He bit once. I'm not going to help. He bit once. Once bit twice shy. She interrupted your second attempt. Yes, just like you're interrupting this attack.

I have gaping flesh. I've had a couple nooners. You know it's bad when I'm doing good math and I know what's going on. It's gonna be, I'm actually not sure here, 30 to hit. Hit? 30? I'm sorry, Kate. With the map?

Kate, you're always my favorite. I mean you only did 19 points of damage the last time. Oh, 28 points of piercing damage. Okay. You have this backwards. You're like... Give me a Fortitude time. Oh, 28 points of piercing damage. Okay, it's you have this backwards Oh, like give me a fortitude save Wait, no points of damage. I can't I have to refill the poison from my reservoir with an interact action Take you just take 28 points of peace. You really played that up Like it would be a lot cooler than it would be an interact action to refill the poison in my head

Father bubbles turn oh oh round three apples turn Let's go Apple and it will step up to my act in mon and once again double slice Get this son of a bitch. Oh man! You are killing it tonight! This is insane! Okay, uh, once again, 39 on the Warhammer. He's frightened! He's frightened one.

And 36 on the Hatchet. He's frightened one? Yeah, from my vision of death. And that lowers AC, doesn't it? Yeah, by one. Oh! So the 39 is a crit. Yeah! X-Gone, give it to ya! Wait for you to get it on your own! X-Gone, deliver to ya! Knock, knock, open up! Whoever invented Frightened sucks. Nothing pains me more than when that song has to get cut off for copyright reasons.

I know. If it was just us here in this room. We could play it all night. Yeah, let's just listen to that song together and rave Okay, that's 38 points of bludgeoning 38 and you get extra to eat the sex on no I say 38 38 points of bludgeoning four points of cold Whoo? Light breeze is it piercing is bludgeoning And now I get now I go with the hatchet and I get the extra 2d6. Oh And he's not prone by the way. Oh

Wow Oh, and he's not prone by the way. Oh, wow. Salt in the wounds. Oh, that is huge. That's massive. I don't like your character. Especially with you up. Tie his hands. And that will be 26 points of slashing damage on the hatchet.

OK. Still up. Actually, he's down. He's very prone. OK. Is that very prone. He's very prone. Okay. Is that your turn? That's my turn. That's a very good turn. Alright, but you are going to take some persistent damage

to the tune of 3 fire. Give me a flat check. Flat check. 14. No. No. So sorry. What? Think God is rolling dice.

What's breaking? The ghost of former podcasts. They say every year. Comes back and does. Every year they return to the holiday. Why tonight's the anniversary? Why tonight's the anniversary of the... Suki, you're up.

All right, I am going to touch my hand to the small of Eris's back. And I cast Heal. So you thought about what I asked. asked. Do you ask that as I touch you? Yeah. Suki says, to be honest, I've given us a lot of thought. But now is not the time. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, no, you're right. You right right yeah, no you're right you're right. No everybody is banging everybody So that's a two-action job I just want to say Kate's been reading those books and I just feel like I

Feel like we're really getting the hang of just the edging where it's like I'm on book four now. You know what that word means? Every little thing. Troy is literally eating popcorn while listening to you. You gotta wait. Go on. You gotta wait for the good stuff.

So small the back, we know. And then I command Pepsi. And Pepsi is going to chomp onto the homunculus. I can't move him, but he's going to... Can he move and attack? Yes, because I just commanded him. So he's going to move up and chomp. Chomp? Is this still off guard, Skid, the homunculus? I just commanded him. So he's gonna move up and chiempa. Chiempa? Is this still off guard, Skid, the homunculus? No, because I missed. Doesn't matter.

Right. Doesn't matter. Oh wait. Oh no, no, no, it is, it does, I'm sorry. It does not matter. I fucked up in another way, I didn't miss. She rolled really poorly with her barra dash. I'll just roll again.

Just kidding. Yeah, he Roll again for the hell of it. What was that? Go Celtics am I right? Wait a minute. I got a funny joking you bugs bunnies me all right Atticus Atticus is going to Come down into the room You know room seeing the yeah, I've never into the room. Are you not in the room? Seeing the, yeah, I've never entered the room.

Because spells have such long range, but not this one. He's going to step just up to the doorway. And he's going to take a piece of the broken table that Eris broke when he busted through the door, make it rise magically off the ground, and then smash the homunculus in the face with it. At least attempt it through the roll of a cheese die. Oh, cheese die! A die made of cheese!

I wanna know if she really loves cheese! Here we go. Pull. 27. Uh, pull. 27. Dude. Unfortunately a miss. God damn it! The pieces go flying past its head and smash into the back of the room.

Balls! And that was your whole turn. That was up. That was a real shit. Whatever. Alright, it's my acne and muns turn. He stands up. Do you have an attack of opportunity?

Yes, I have a reactive strike. Is that what you mean? Gross. Wait, wait, wait, wait, you're leaving? Like you're taking more than five feet? I'm just standing up. Oh right, right, I'm sorry, I forgot you were prone. Oh, he was on a natural 20

and then fell off. 27 to hit. 27? Yeah. Miss. Yeah. Damn it. Yeah. What a waste.

All right, he stood up. That was one action. This piece of shit character What's he going? You don't like yeah, I got one cool thing I can do Time is it yeah, okay? Wait a minute pause for edit We don't edit these what are you gonna say?

Is his AC 30 and reduced to 29 by being frightened? Why do you ask? Because if he was prone, his AC would be 27. Is he still frightened? Until the end of his turn. Frightened until the end of his turn By the rules of Pathfinder, I believe Shotgun the beer! Shotgun the beer! Oh no! Oh no! I have work tomorrow!

You have work today! Shotgun beer, you animals. Alright, that's a hit. 26 points of bludgeoning, 4 points of cold. Oh, yeah! And you kill him! Yes! Holy shit.

Did we mean to do that? We should have acted like we meant to do that? Well, I mean to do what we meant to we can we can bring him back we can bring it back right he's dying Splattered all over the ground. Oh god. It's a RSS turn. Oh wait something happens here Something happens. Oh, so he had a bit of a connection to his little flying little mon and depending on who died first something happens. Let me see this good for you guys. Oh I mean obviously the little one runs away he's a little my acne and disappears. No he just disappears. No I want to get this right if If Magnus Lane... Oh, so sad. Yeah, it's not that bad.

All of a sudden you just see like, the lights go out in this thing. Oh. And then it just turns at Eris and it's like, feral with you. But it's your turn. What? Okay. So the lights go out and it's coming for me. Shoot, I wasn't prepared for it to be my turn. Well, here it is.

I guess I want. And yet here we are. And yet. And yet here we are. Happens every round. Let me see, this is a cone. I don't know if I want to do a cone. Maybe I want to do...

What kind of death spell do I want to do? The death kind. It has a brain, right? It has a skull full of poison. It sounds like it takes an interact action to feed that into its teeth. It sounds like a brain to me. Skull full of poison. Well no, I mean, it seems like it lost sentience in that, you know. I'm going to lift the veil here. If you had killed it first, Munn takes 4d10 mental damage from the Penegra.

Oh, right! Oh no, that's scary. That's right. That's cool. Wait, is that a normal thing with Homunculi? They're always like attached to some mind? Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. I think so. I mean, this is another thing that I think goes way, way back to like original AD&D,

is like that kind of concept. It's called a Master Link. Cool. I wanna do something new, because this thing tried to bite me twice, did some damage, and then also is coming at me So as it's coming at me, I'm gonna cast a spell but while I'm casting that spell what I'm doing is taunting it Oh

Like listen you will I'm gonna kill you if you come near me to grab your little neck. I'm gonna bring it. I'm gonna tear your head off Tell you yeah, oh Wow strong words anyway, you really you really gave the business Tear your head off. Tear your head off. Oh. Anyway. Wow. Strong words. Anyway. You really gave him the business. What? I'm going to tear your head off.

What did you say? I'm going to pick off your wings one by one and then stuff them up your butt. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 26. Father Dick is like, no, do not speak that way and let this out. It's a 26 and that's definitely a miss 26 is a miss yeah Something is a miss here. You just see me say like awful things to this thing and nothing happens

And then with my final action I raise a shield because it's coming at me Aldo you see this thing fix its gaze on the nearest enemy to it, which is Purruss. Okay. What do you do? Yeah, and he's just like When Mon goes down he's like, nooooo! He's like, why did- nooooo! And he's like he's out of like sheer frustration. He's like kind of fumbling through his bandolier and He actually grabs his last greater bottle of lightning Wow sticky bomb oh oh use a sock and some tar yeah yeah sticky sticky bomb okay let me do some quick math here. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do 43. Wow, that's a lot. Is that your final answer? Yes.

That is a crit. Yes! Oh! Okay, amazing. Okay. Kill it. All right. Boop. The dice roller's coming out.

That's 70 points of electricity damage. Oh! Oh! Oh! Dead vs. Skin! Dead vs. Skin! Dead vs. Skin! Dead vs. Skin! Dead vs. Skin!

Dead vs. Skin! He dead. Yeah! Yeah, yeah he is! You just seen Munn's body. Munn's body convulses as this little myachnian falls to the ground. I'm sorry! I might have gave this chest in a little bit Suki bring him up bring him up bring him back. We have to talk to him. I'm gonna talk to him hurry

She runs over she sprints over What what What You have to be careful where you're going What? Eat the mushrooms, god damn it! You have to be careful where you're going, like that. I don't know what you're saying. I put my hands and I cast Heal on this clearly dead body. You want to heal the dead body, eh? Yeah, I don't really know what you guys expect me to do.

I stabilize. I stabilize. Okay. He should be dying too, like if he was a PC. Yeah, technically. I'll let you stabilize him. Yeah! And then stabilized, you could do tree wounds.

Yeah. And you wouldn't have to yeah Give me a Fucking flat check you for your fire. Oh bail three damage six damage pass six points of fire damage You coward So damage. You coward. So, bun twitched with that damage. Actually, the damage would have taken him to dying eight. But anyways, we'll say you. That's not true. Just another dying two.

There's a breath there now. And I... Wait, wait, wait! Before you heal his grievous injury, I need to tie him up. Oh, yeah. I'll remove his bandolier, any secret items kept on his person, et cetera, and then tie him up. And Suki puts on her sterile white healer's gloves and walks over... Don't touch me, I'm sterile. healers gloves and walks over don't touch me I'm sterile oh no and walks over it and places her fingers on his tied up chest you mark you what

what and I I'm listening to him do you want to actually do the numbers you want to treat wounds or do you want to bring them up and then I'll tell you later well if you critically fumble you'll hurt him so you should roll a die. That's so true. According to the rules of Pathfinder second edition... Watch this. Natural 20. Oh!

He comes back to full health and attacks him. He just starts throwing bombs. Rrr stronger than he's ever been! What have I done? Infused with life! He levitates from the floor. Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb! Odd instinct, Ethel buries his hatchet in his chest. There we go, there we go. Just get him down to about two, two or three. It's like a 40 something. I think it's a critical. It's a natural 20. What were. 21. Plus three. 24. Yes, you're tied up. Aldo is standing over him. The minute he comes to.

With his eyes blazing in his weird spider-like form. It's just like, "'Tor, tell us! What did you steal from us? What did you take from me? You're a ghost. You are a ghost talking to me. You're not real? None of you are real!' "'I am a ghost! I'm coming here from the Undergrave and I demand answers!' What do you want to know? Lous will be back soon. He's coming to save me. The creatures outside, they cannot hurt me anymore.

What do you want to know? Where is Lous? I Lost him the soul we went down there and Found the book We found the Necromancer found chained and bound in the soul We began translating it

Unraveling the knowledge within, but when we tried to take it, things went awry. What? Creatures? You said, these creatures are what, closing in? What did you say? What? You said that Man would return.

I don't speak rat! I think he was talking about the proto-shagoths at the door. Aldo, do you have any other questions for him? Yeah, he puts his long, long, like super long finger hand like around his throat. He's like, what happened to us? The time we're missing the memories. He needed you. He needed what you had. And he took it. You weren't meant to survive. You weren't meant to survive. And if he knows you are alive, he will kill you. He is more powerful than before. He is more more he is them He's them who

Be more specific them. What does that mean? He is and all of a sudden his eyes like go completely white and his mouth starts moving Oh shit, but a voice comes out of it that is not his Pass Different horror trope Different horror trope, please Voice comes out that is not his and says something to the effect of like you ah And then his head explodes

And we'll see you in Nashville You're amazing! It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com. That's JoinTheNaish.com, where you'll get access to exclusive podcasts and live streams you can't find anywhere else. See what everybody's talking about and join the nation today at jointhenation.com!