The Glass Cannon Podcast - Strange Aeons Episode 94 – Devil Went Down to Nashville

Episode Date: July 13, 2024

In what may go down as the best live show in GCN history, the heroes discover a vandalized chamber containing the angel gate leading to the next level. Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/dRMdGpkdWW4 Join Troy Lavallee, Joe O'Brien, Skid Maher, Matthew Capodicasa, Sydney Amanuel, and Kate Stamas as they tour the country playing the Lovecraftian Horror Strange Aeons Pathfinder Adventure Path. For more podcasts and livestreams, visit glasscannonnetwork.com and for exclusive content and benefits, subscribe today at jointhenaish.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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backing of American Express. Visit mex.ca slash y amex. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. You are listening to the Glass Cannon Network, the premier source for role-playing game entertainment. Music I love you! Welcome to Naysville! The three greatest cities in the world are Boston, Massachusetts, Las Vegas, Nevada, and Nashville, Tennessee. That's it. I never want to go to another city again.

Right before we came here, we were actually late to sound check because Skid had mentioned that he had never been to Lower Broadway. I was like, we're going. So we dragged him into like 14 bachelorette parties. We walk into Hockey Talk Central with our nerdy fucking backpacks all loaded. We all had our backpacks on. Yeah, the guy at the door was like, excuse me, sir, is there a GM screen in there? I'm not going to be able to let you in.

Don't need a DNID, sir. You have a GM screen. And they fired up, devil went down to Georgia, and you've never seen Skid happier in your life. Yo, yo, I lost my fucking mind. Well, they were. I lost my mind. I love that song.

Matthew and I were talking about it. We love country songs, because it's a story like as a kid it's like we love country songs like they tell a story and that's a great fucking story. This kid is so fucking cocky. He's the best fucking fiddle player that ever lived. The devil comes he challenges the fucking devil. He beats him and devil's like all right man you got me and he's just like I told you once you son of a bitch, I'm the best it's ever been.

And I lose my fucking shit every time. And yeah, I was dancing up there. I was so fucking happy, man. The fiddle player was at the bar and Skid kept turning around. He was up there, like, dancing. He was turning around. Look, it's like, can you believe this is fucking happening? Can you believe this is happening? Not only that, but the fiddle player was incredible.

What was her name? Katie Marie? Katie Marie. Katie Marie. Katie Marie. That became a bit. We were like, can you believe it's Katie Marie? I know.

It's like, Kate, get up there. They're calling your name repeatedly. She got on the bar and the singer would just pour shots into her mouth while she just annihilated on the fiddle. All Katie Marie's can take shots while they work. Incredible. It's a thing. There was a group of like 50-year-old women

behind us doing jello shots, and I was like, this is the greatest fucking city in the world! So amazing. This is a little weird tonight, because obviously we've got about 15,000 people here in attendance But just a few minutes away from here was the site of the first ever glass cannon network retreat which we do And all those people are here tonight where my retreat folks that You know, I my eyes been twitching for four weeks

and still going, I'm so excited. We, I had a very specific goal in mind this year and with the retreat, I was like, I wanna do something that would create an opportunity for people to have something that they would look forward to and then be able to go to and enjoy and have it be one of the best weekends of their life. And I can say that it was

because I had one of the best weekends of my life. Hell yeah. Yep, yep. As you can tell by my lack of voice, it was just wonderful. And you know, life can be really a pain in the cock and having something to look forward to that delivers like live shows like this

and the retreat and the nash, it's just a wonderful time to be alive. And I feel very blessed to do this with them and with you. It's wonderful, thank you. And I didn't prepare anything tonight because stayed up kind of late. I was like, I figured I'll just role play with Father Dick and we'll see what happens. Be careful what you wish for.

I know. I'm forever blowing bubbles. Got the wrong cue. Sorry. The wrong cue. Nashville Joe, how the hell you doing, buddy? Oh man, my voice is struggling. I'm having a great time.

I've never heard that. I got Joy to spit take. There we go. I'm having a great time. There we go. There we go. Well, I don't know how to play a Pathfinder game with my friends here in moderation. So every hour of Pathfinder I've had at this retreat has just been screaming at a table of five people like, You're all going to die! And so that's been 48 hours of that. And so I'm a little shocked.

I know. I was the same way. Like I sounded like Robert Kennedy Jr. at the end of the night. I was just like, okay guys, oh goodness. I couldn't fucking understand anything I was saying. Sydney, I reminded you before the show, and then you immediately said, no, that wasn't the right time,

and then I was like, yes, and you were like, oh yeah, you're right, that Nashville was your first show, last time we were in Nashville, as an official member of the tour and I said no stupid It was Wisconsin and he said I said official member you dummy you played a random NPC in Wisconsin and I said, oh, yeah That was your good. It feels good to be back Wisconsin was your audition I didn't know that but I guess I nailed it you like being back here fuck yeah yeah I'd never

I had never been to Nashville before we went on tour and I was shocked by the amount of bachelorette parties were you really really shocked by that? I've never been here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I was shocked too, because you're like, you hear there's a lot of bachelorette parties. And you're like, sure. But you didn't know that there would be 140 on that block. Yeah.

And they're all competing for having the best time. So they're getting progressively flowerer. They're all peddling down the street in communal forms of presentation. I was like, we need to take one of those to the show and wait until everybody's standing in line and just roll up on one of those pedal things. Next time, next time we're doing that.

But I have been telling every waiter at every restaurant that this is my bachelorette party. Yeah. Woo! And they don't cheer like you do, they just go, oh, okay. Sydney, of course, recently tricked some poor man into marrying her. And do you plan on having a full-on bachelorette party?

You know, I never considered it. And then you guys were like, why wouldn't you? It's the one time you get to literally do that. You get to be the stupidest version of yourself with all your friends. And I was like, yeah, that sounds awesome. Yeah, the one time, Sydney. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's one time you, Sydney. Yeah. Yeah. It's one time you could really let loose. How dare you? Really throw those smats out the window. One time you can act like a fool in front of people. You can't see. You might not be able to see all the way back there.

I got my nails done for tonight. And they do say two plus two equals five. You want to tell the story of the guy that was like that that's not right. The nail technician was like that's wrong. And then you gasp. Oh no, oh no, Sydney's doing bad. Okay what about you? You had a bachelorette party here, didn't you? Back in the day? No, I had mine at Six Flags. I was poor. I was poor. My mom's friend, like

my mom's friend, my friend's mom got us free tickets from her job. What the fuck? So that's what we did. That was her bachelor entrance. We rented a Mini Cooper and we drove to New Jersey. Oh my god. And we rode the Kingda Ka like eight times. Oh my god. You're going to make me cry. This is horrible. I was bored.

I know. It's like a fucking Charles Dickens story. Did you have a stripper ride the Riddler's Revenge with you? I'm sorry my bachelorette wasn't the Nashville party of your dreams. Not all of us can do that. So yes. But I did go to the pool at the resort and that was fun. For the retreat. Yeah. Yeah, Sydney, you were at the pool and you posted pictures. We were so nervous. We were like, what if we see people from the retreat at the pool? retreat. Yeah. Yeah, Sydney, you were at the pool and you posted pictures. We were so nervous. We were like, what if we see people like from the retreat at the pool because like as ladies were like observe us, but also don't.

Observe us. But as soon as we got there, there's like a DJ, there's like frozen drinks, there's like just people in the pool being like, everyone's like dancing. And I think there's no way anyone from the retreat is hearing. We're so worried that someone from the retreat is hearing. We're so worried that someone from the retreat is going to see us. You're worried for nothing. That is not going to happen at all.

They're busy setting up Gloomhaven for four hours. They're not coming out here. Then all of a sudden this shirtless hairy son of a bitch comes rolling in. Were you at the pool today, Matthew? Rob actually came and visited us at the pool and he showed up wearing all black and was like, hey guys, black jeans. It's so fucking hot out here. Like a poet. Showing up at the pool. Matthew you didn't hit the pool? I was the DJ. DJ Matty Caps. Crushing daiquiris. How was your day, man?

Did you have a good weekend? I did, I got to play some games. I got to play some magic. Ooh! Nerd! Despite my best efforts, I won a couple games. Oh! Yeah, you did. Then I collapsed and died.

Collapsed, Skid, you ran Blade Runner RPG this weekend, right? I'm so sorry. We had a great time. I heard a real funny story about the end of this. We had a great time. I was having a great time, but I was so tired because we did the show in Denver, we flew out the next morning at 5 a.m., and then we came in and we couldn't even really check in.

We ran right to the retreats, we're running this game, and we get like five hours into it, and I'm reading this thing, and one of the players, like they lost, they got broken, their willpower got broken, yeah, Travis right there, lost their willpower and started firing on a witness, and they killed the witness in this investigation, and I'm like, okay, so everyone gets arrested I guess, and they all go back to the thing. And so I was like, okay, so now we want to interview this one survivor of this scene. And I'm like, okay. So I'm looking through the book and it's just like, under no circumstances will this witness share, tell the investigators anything about Dinah. And I was like, who the fuck is Dinah? I have no idea! And I'm flipping through the book and I'm just like,

I'm completely lost and I'm like, I gotta call it, I'm sorry guys. And I just explained the rest of the story and say, you won. And then I went to bed. Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do. If I ever have too many newners up here, I'm just gonna be like, let me just tell you how

this encounter ends. Yeah, just narrate the end of the encounter. You know what? You win. You win. You guys won. I did the same thing in the gauntlet today, by the way. We've had a long couple of...

I mean, Denver feels like a month ago. I cannot believe that we were in Denver yesterday morning. That is insanity. No, is that true? Yes! That is true. You woke up in Denver yesterday. That's crazy. This is crazy. That's crazy. I've basically been checking into flights since last week. I know, seriously. Every day. I'm checking into flights on flights. Yeah, for real. It's crazy and you know somebody said are you tired? I'm like yeah I'm tired but I feel like there's gonna come a time when we can't do stuff like this. So let's enjoy every single minute of it. Yeah. And let's enjoy every single second of tonight.

And let's take it to the recap. Joe, what do you got? I know you've been up all night, you left the retreat early to go get 40 winks and I know before you went to bed you were like I'm gonna download some hot recap music. Go download some sexy recap music. What do you got for me? Give me, do you like when I start and then you start playing something? Sure. Should we go with smooth jazz? Yeah! Smooth jazz like our videographer Harry has a smooth jazz album he's playing bass on that

is number one on the Billboard charts. Fuck it Harry. Literally, that's not a joke. That's true. Wait a minute. Harry! Harry! You have to understand.

Oh, Harry Kenny G. Watson! Our Emmy-winning videographer, Harry, back there, not only that, but he also played bass for Chubby Checker. And you would assume, it's like, this guy's got to be 147 years old. He's not. He's younger than me, which isn't saying much. But that's crazy. That's fucking crazy, and he's awesome.

We were driving once from Philly to DC for a show and it was me, Skid and Harry in the car and Harry was telling us all these Chubby Checkers stories and just there was a bit that started where every time someone challenged Chubby Checkers authority he was like, come on baby do the twist. And like his detractors would be like, come on baby, do the twist. Come on baby, do the twist. His detractors would be like, what does that mean? Why do you keep saying that? Oh, come on baby. Come on baby, do the twist. Let's do the twist.

Anyways, had to be there. Here's the recap tonight. Woo! Come on baby, do the twist. Come on baby, let's do the recap. Why? Why? You have my wife at gunpoint. Come on baby. We're going to do tonight's recap in bullet point form. You have my wife at gunpoint. Come on, baby.

We're going to do tonight's recap in bullet point form. Pen in 12 point font. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West.

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than with traditional arc welding processes. Expand your workforce so you can start doing more and making more. Get the Optix Laser Advantage now and start changing the welding game. A man named Hazerton Liles IV became a count when his parents died. Rather than being content to rule over his county, he wanted to be a writer, but he sucked at it.

And all his writings were failures. So he decided to try and unlock some really dark and dangerous knowledge to write about. In so doing, he allowed an alien entity named Xamandor to infect his mind. Xamandor has instructed him to find the location of a book called the Necronomicon, which will point Laos to a hidden city full of ancient monuments which can be used to bring Xamandor into our world.

Laos had to travel across dimensions to find out the location of this book and eventually discovered that a copy of the Necronomicon lies in a library of the occult known as the Mysterium. He traveled to the Mysterium with his accomplice, his good putty, his bow. I fucked that up. I said putty and bow. His good buddy, his pal, my acne and munt. He bribed the keepers of the library to let them in and he went places he was not allowed to go, which set off the protection wards of the library. A group of library keepers went in after him to bring justice and they never came back

out. Our heroes have followed Lyle's all the way to this library and two nights ago in Denver, Colorado, they found... I lived there. Yep. Denver Smith. Denver Smith. One guy. One guy was there. Actually two people were here. They followed Lyle's all the way to this library and two nights ago they found Lyle's putty, his bow. Myachnian Mun barricaded in a room with a small

homunculus version of himself. This guy's weird he just makes versions of himself. They defeated Mun, brought him back to life and then questioned him about Lous, about the Necronomicon, about the book. Munn's not there anymore. In Call of Cthulhu parlance he's an NPC. He has lost all of his sanity. His eyes went blank at some point during the interrogation. All he told them was that Laos and he found the Necronomicon in the soul of the library and began translating it. When Lyle's went back to get it, to take it, because reading it wasn't enough, something went wrong and they got separated. As he's

talking his eyes go blank and a voice from beyond comes out of his mouth telling the heroes they have been seen. Munn's head then, but explodes. Whoops. Yeah, it is gross. Our heroes need to descend further in the Mysterium to find this soul, find the Necronomicon and presumably find Lolls as well. But to do so they must find four angel statues, turn their heads and unlock a passageway down, down, down. They had no problem doing so on the first level of the Mysterium. Turn the

angels heads, come back down, but every angel head they found on this level, the arcana level. They turn, it turns right back. Something is wrong here. Let's go to the map. Immediately, we're going to the map. I'm so scared. Take it to the map! Pa! I'm here!

Ooh, Davey Maps. Davey Maps. Davey Maps. Davey Maps. Davey Maps. Davey Maps. Davey Maps. Here you are in this room. It has been repurposed as an alchemist's lab. You are covered in the guts and blood and brain matter of myachnian mon Aldo.

You have a special connection to this man who up until recently you didn't even remember, but now you remember he and Lyle's coming to save you from Noel's slavers when first you came into this fantasy world from Australia. You now just look down, we close in on Aldo's eyes as he stares at this headless corpse. What do you do? Aldo falls to his knees and he's sort of scrabbling through what remains of his head and his brain. He's like scooping it up in his fingers and like the bits of brain and skull are like dripping through his fingers. He's like, no, no!

He squeezes his fist and he says, all that, all that we've been searching for. He would have had answers. He's dead. Would that I could piece him together with the knowledge I have, but no. There's nothing, nothing I can do. And he's just like, sort of, I think he's, and he's still like in this mutagen sort of like weird state with his elongated limbs and everything and

He just sort of like slumps over Angelina. I'd love to see your art of this. Please do the scene as he likes slumps over with this like weird like spidery body and I think like And I think like the sort of the weight of all of this that we've suffered and strived for for this entire like time that we've been like doing this, that's we were in the asylum, like it all gets to him. And he's just like, he starts like heaving sobs and he lifts his hands up to his face and he's like sweeping them down like over his cheeks and these like streaks of blood and brain over over his cheeks and his forehead like as he as he leaves his hands down at his at his side and he's like broken. He's a Blade Runner parlance. He's broken. How does he always find a way to bring it back to that shit?

Read the room, Ethel. You just have to find a way to keep going with the knowledge that they can't love you back. For whatever reason. And now Ethel's crying as well. Okay, Suki. Suki steps in. And her healer's gloves that she put on to stabilize Munn, she should have been splattered with all this blood and stuff,

but they're still pristinely white, so below her wrist you know is red with his blood but the gloves are just so pure white and she walks up to Aldo she also puts her hand on him very softly and she gently says it's okay to be upset and it's okay that you're angry about what has happened but this isn't the end Aldo. We need to find Laos, you do, for everything that you have done so far. I know I met you late on your journey but I want to help you." And then she wipes one of his cheeks with her white gloves and wipes some of the blood off. But the glove still stays white.

It doesn't even get any blood on it. And she just wipes one clean. And she kind of looks at his weird spider body. And she goes, fucked up. Are you okay? Stop! Stop! You feel another hand on your shoulder. There's another presence. No. No. No. No.

My son. No. No, no, I know We have not adventure in this life for long together But I can tell you're hurting when the mad god nephis chooses to Let people's heads explode

There is a method to his madness though we may be too foolish to know why. I've had several friends whose heads have exploded. It never gets any easier. But Nethis loves you, and so do I." Curious that the mushrooms didn't prevent him from speaking that time. Yes. While you were fighting that hideous flying creature and his father, I found a knife and carved them all out of my mouth. It's a rough scene in there, but I feel like I have my voice for tonight's show. Aldo, do you need any healing?

Yes. I am very badly hurt, and he stands up, like he raises himself up to his full height, which at this point is like almost nine feet tall. And you can see that he has suffered the equivalent of four hit points of damage. I can tell you're hurting, my son, please. You get one hit point back. I feel 25% better, thank you. I need I need to lie down. Suki knowing that Aldo is like really struggling mentally right now very laboriously pretends that she's doing a lot of medical care like when you patch up a child's boo-boo so she's like rubbing like, getting out gauze to treat wounds for your three remaining hit points. Thank you. Thank you for treating my boobos.

Of course. You're welcome. Athel could use a little healing as well. No, no. Me too. No, that's we have limited No, no. Me too. No, we have limited resources of healing. I need eight hours of rest. While the healing is going on, can we thoroughly search this room to see if we can find out any information about why you can't?

Absolutely, Suki doesn't heal Ethel during that. She's going to search the room, no problem. Among the chaos of the room, you find Munn's formula book. A loose collection of formulae. Oh, how interesting! It's all held within this wood-backed cover that seems to be bound in some strange skin. Human! The color of it is nothing like human, but perhaps it was dyed.

The texture is weird as well. Can I actually do a check on this to determine? A cult, maybe? Twenty? It looks... It's not that impressive. It's not that impressive. We're 11th level.

As your hand... Not that great. As your hand sort of runs over the skin, you get this strange chill, like this is not something from this world. Oh, oh, oh, interesting. Some sort of creature. Oh Oh I think Atticus is kind of drawn to that. Seeing this over Aldo's shoulder. He's gonna look over at it and he wants to examine it. Okay, you ripped the book from Aldo's crying hands. Give it to me you sniveling fool. Come on, baby! It's going to take it.

Do the twist! See, it's funny! What? Oh, no. Allow me. Let me take a look. What is the twist? No, it's... Let me take a look. What is the twist? What is the twist? Aldo, you're babbling like a madman. Let me see it.

Can I do an arcana on it? Yeah, sure. Or a cultism? I don't care. I'll do a cultism, actually. I don't care! Natural 20. Strong start to the night in Nashville. I love that you play ACDC for a natural 20 on a knowledge check.

Knowledge check! What other show ACDC was all, man? Classic Rock is all about knowledge. You feel like Aldo may have been on the right track if he says aloud, this is not from this world, but you recognize this as the skin of a subterranean race of intelligent worms that serve these bizarre alien masters in the darkest depths of the earth. They are creatures known as Sugathi. Sugathi. So perhaps Lows was not alone in having sort of interests beyond the mundane. Very cool. He'll share this with Aldo. I read of these creatures, subterranean.

Aldo, you start looking through the book, you see all of the alchemical items he has prepared, which I can, I'll text you, as well as acid flask, lesser and moderate, alchemical eye, alchemist's fire, lesser and moderate, bravo's brew, cheetah's elixir. There could be some new stuff on here for you to learn. The room also holds a lacquered fan, not unlike the one that weirdo Kate was throwing around Nashville today.

She literally, there we go. We're standing outside of a bar and she's like a southern bell just fanning herself. I wasn't sweating. A southern... But somebody was. ...goth bell. It's Kate's biggest fan. Hey! Man, Skid is in rare form. That guy is standing up.

By the way, I didn't want to interrupt your moment if you get a bottle cap for that role play. That's good. Lacquered fan depicting soldiers fighting demonic cockerels worth 150 gold pieces. Wait, what? Fighting demonic what? Cockerels! What? Cockerels! Wait, no, no, no, slow down.

Can you spell that? Cock. No, I'm not Googling that. Do it by syllable. Cock part. Do it by syllable. Cock-er-els. Cockerels. Cockerels! That's what I said, cockerels! I thought you were like cockerels and mussels, livey livey.

But no, they're just birds. There's also a paperweight that shows a black rose held aloft by a trio of devil's coach horses, as well as Munn's expanded alchemist laboratory. Maybe you could library laboratory, maybe you could break that down. Oh, you also see a map of Cathere and you think back to being in Munn's home and realize that there was a thing of Cthir. And you think back to being in Munn's home and realize that there was a thing missing from the wall. You have this sort of flashback that he took the map

of Cthir from his map room. What a jerk. That's it, that's all that's in the room. The desks contain nothing. Nope. Nope. The homunculus body, nothing. He contain nothing. Nope. Nope. The homunculus body, nothing. He has nothing.

Nothing at all. Can I actually have some healing now, Sydney? Same. Are you talking to Suki? Ferris walks up to Suki alone. She's like, hey. Hey, girl. Hey, girl. How how you feeling no what's going on on

the map just don't don't look behind you I'm feeling okay I'm feeling a bit confused. I just feel like, can I talk to you for a second? Shh. Yeah. ["The Last Supper"] ["The Last Supper"] Ha ha ha. Are you both lurking behind us? Actually, let's walk away a little bit.

I'm having a private conversation with my colleagues.. Up here a little bit, a little further, out of earshot. Yeah, let's go over here. Just a little bit. We're just going to look at the books over here. Thanks. Oh wow, look at these books. They're so girly. Okay. Anyway, I'm just like, I'm just confused with Ethel and Father Dick Bubbles. I just don't understand what his endgame is.

I don't know. And I don't want to come across desperate. I don't need Father Dick Bubbles. I'm a strong, independent, elven woman. But it's just distracting, if you know what I mean. Ethel and Bubbles? No, just mostly Bubbles, but the shirt and like... Somebody call me. Fuck. I am at your command. No, no, no.

Oh, sorry, I heard, I distinctly heard Bubbles. We're good. Thank God. I'm just wondering how you... Yeah, I can see how you think heard bubbles. We're good. Thank God. I'm just wondering how you- Yeah, I can see how you think he's distracting. It just happens a lot. I'm just wondering how you feel about Ethel, just constantly, I mean, really laying into it.

Kind of desperate, don't you think? Kind of, I don't know, a turn off, unattractive, I don't know. I feel a lot of things, and like, I don't know, if mean unattractive. I don't know I Feel a lot of things and like I don't know if you're able to like put a camera into Aris's mind right now You would see like a little voice inside just like whispering. Oh He warmed to father bubbles very quickly and easily But you had to try so hard to get his attention and you still do hard to get his attention and you still do. Whoa, whoa.

Let's back up to that metaphor. A camera went in your mind and saw a voice. And saw a voice. I thought the same thing. I wasn't going to say anything because I was like, we've all had a long couple days. Listen, just because you've never been to a rave. I want to be immersed. I want to be immersed.

The camera, obviously. Camera, when you're mine, I'm with you. The camera has a built-in microphone. Let's move past the camera. What did the camera? The camera sees a little worm in her brain. It's a talking. A worm.

A worm. It's a talking shit to her, and it continues, and it goes, he still cries over his ex-wife. Has he ever cried over you? And then it comes back out and she's looking at Suki. Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home. Skin! She's skin. If he gets a bottle cap from my little mini-scene, I swear to God.

Sorry. Sorry. Camera on a voice. I'm with you. The camera sees the voice. And she's just looking at Sukiyun. She's like, yeah, he is really distracting, I guess. How do I deal with it?

Are you okay? You just sort of? zoned out Um, I mean no Are you two okay? I mean, you know, I've never really discussed it, but I think we all know I mean no look at us What are you fighting? No, but we're running around this this Mysterium trying to start a polycule Sorry was that on the primary mission objectives I don't I think it was I don't recall that being listed quick for Cue of death it's a piezo. Is this a remaster thing? Not because things are going well that we're doing that.

I guess. But, I don't know, it sucks. Every time something happens, he brings up his ex-wife. And he keeps just being so... friendly. To bubbles. I think... I think you and I are on the same page. Yeah. Boys suck.

Totally. Totally boys suck. I think we should say it on the count of three, what we think needs to happen. This is her favorite improv. Wait, wait, wait. Say on the count of three what? What we think we should do. I mean that answer might be multiple sentences unless you're really under thinking it.

If you could sum it up in like one sentence what we think one sentence I could set up in one word. Oh, oh wow. Okay. That's not the word you think. Mine is a sentence so maybe rethink it. Okay ready? Is this gonna be the end of eyes wide shut one Okay, I have a new sentence okay ready one two three Yeah! And just, just now! Yes!

That's exactly what I was going to say! Bottle cap. Yeah! Cut across the room to Father Bubbles, who can't help but notice wherever he moves in the room, Ethel is there. He stops short and Ethel runs into him. There's this awkward pause as the front of Ethel's pants rubs up against the back of Father Brooks.

Ethel, there you are again. Let me help you with your mushrooms. No, no, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. My son, I hope you don't mind if I'm Frank with you. I thought you were Father Dick. I am.

But my father was Frank and I want to talk to you like he talked to me. Father Frank Bubbles. Yes. Ah, so this is a roleplay scenario. Yes. Well, no. Try to stay in character. I seem to notice everywhere I go, there you are.

And I think I know what this is all about. You do? You have an interest in the priesthood. So to speak. So to speak. In a way, yes. I was once like you, following the older fathers around. Tugging at their robes. Wanting to learn as much as I could. So I understand the world of God is

strange. And to know it all is an enticing proposition. If anyone was coming here for plot progression, I'm very sorry. Sorry. How may I serve you in your search for truth? And Ethel leans in close. Very, very close. Oh, you rubbed up against one of my mushrooms. Let me fold it towards my neck. I was just thinking. Yes?

That maybe you and I could sit down for a counseling session if you don't mind. Yes, I was thinking the same thing. We call it confession, but I am a trained counselor as well. We will discuss this at the next rest period. Now that I've healed one hit point, I'm exhausted. Atticus, Aldo, we must sally forth throughout this place. Hey, Sookie, could I get some healing now before we leave? Me too.

What have you been doing this whole time? Should have only been healing. We must be on the move quickly. Aldo, Aldo. And he says quietly to Aldo as he leans over. Pull yourself together. You're fine. Please. It's interesting because like, I mean, I feel that like Atticus, this is, this is Alice by far closest relationship.

Because we are the two like OGs that have been here since the, well, yes, since episode one. Since episode one. Since episode one. Let's just leave it at that. Yeah, yeah. So it is, I mean, I think it is interesting the relationship that the two of us must have

at this point, having gone through everything that we've gone through, and all the companions that have, like, come and gone, like, we've stayed kind of consistent. And so, like, yeah, I think Atticus is, like, the one guy in the world, being a stranger to this planet, that Aldo trusts, and, like, has a feeling of a feeling of closeness to. And so he sort of takes his admonishment to heart and he wipes the rest with his robes, like he wipes the rest of the kind of mess off of his face and he's just like, hi, I'm sorry old friends.

And he stands up again, like lifts himself up to his full nine foot stature. And he's just like, you're right, you're right. Okay, okay. No need, no need to apologize. There is, but I need you. I need your mind sharp and quick. Look, I'm as frustrated as you. All of these leads, they always end

in dead ends. We keep getting cut off from Laos, whoever it is, whatever it is, this voice, this power. We can think through it. We can find it by piecing together what he said or the sound, the tone of his voice. Think, right before he left, he said, you are seen, that voice, have we heard it before? Is it Laos that is hunting us? Is it this Xamandor that is hunting us? Focus, and you and I can answer these questions. And I think back, is there any way, is there any check I could do to try to recognize that voice that we heard?

I want to do the same thing. Or to recognize, like, kind of like the reaction recognize spell. To realize if there was an actual magical spell or event that happened to make him explode Yeah, um give me Give me an occultism check, and there's a reason I'm choosing occultism, okay And 36 points to Eris and 35 to Ethel healing I also healed Pepsi and Suki healed herself So that's like 40 minutes. We're spending like 40 minutes in here. Thank you. Suki, I feel like you're resistant

to giving me this healing. No. I just want you to know I appreciate it. And all you do for the party. I need to go to the night before the evening. Whoa. Man. Suki backs away from that.

Yikes. Sorry. Sorry, Suki. Apparently I'm in trouble. Oh my god! Talk to you later. Gotta go. I feel so awkward I'm talking into Sydney's mic just to get further away from Matthew. I know. When I come into the audience I don't want to be up here.

What is your role for occultism? 26. Pretty good. Skied? 22. Another shitty role. Okay. Don't tell him it's shitty. He does. I mean an incredible roll. Oh

Wait, wait, wait, I mean, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah So stupid 23, yeah! Woo! You remember, it's so stupid. All right! Man, that time my luck turned around, woo! Everything we do is stupid. I mentioned last time in Denver that there's these whispers that have been following you ever since you got your memories back at the oasis of the Mad Poet.

And then last time you rested in the the meditation room of the Mysterium you Atticus saw this vision of this conical four appendaged creature in this old Keleshite woman you tied it to these whispers this voice that came out of Munn does not remind you of those whispers at all, but it does remind you of something. Something that Aldo experienced live on this stage. Not this stage, meaning the collective stage of this show that we do. And you probably experienced while sitting in the boiler room of the asylum. You had a dream of this nightmare creature killing you and hearing a voice that said, wake up.

Oh, right. So the Taliban was the vision in the tree. Did you say the Taliban? Yeah, he did. He said the Taliban. He said the Taliban. Wait. Did he really say the Taliban? I don't think he meant that. Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that I said the Taliban. There's only one man in this room to blame for that.

That's Epic Dave, who bought us treehouse beers from Boston and brought them all the way down here. They're amazing, but they're extremely strong. Epic Dave, the only member of this audience in the Taliban. Valued Taliban asset, Epic Dave. Thank you for the beer. We like to spread our fingers far and wide here at the Glass Candy Network. network. Now, Taliban humor to lighten things up. That old city winery. I'm going to bring out that fan again. Yes, your memory of the tatter. Tatter man. Tatter man. The tatter man we saw in the dream though

Though it did not seem his voice that told us to wake up How do I fear this voice? Perhaps fear is not the right word this voice has been following us for some time, but we do not know its identity It is watching it is leading us where? To the book of course But look what happened to them. They read it, sure, briefly. They tried to take it. They go mad.

The money was... completely lost. Is that what we want to do? Do we wish to truly go mad? Just to answer these questions? Unrecoverably mad? Are we not mad already? Truly go mad, just to answer these questions. Unrecoverably mad. Are we not mad already?

Perhaps madness is the key, the key to true knowledge. Perhaps madness is just a word, used by those who don't understand the true nature of the universe. Perhaps it is something we should indulge in so that we may become night gods. Yes. Aldebar doesn't see bubbles Aldebar I couldn't agree more yes as his face darkens this is the first time anyone has voiced so clearly his own motivations for nearly his entire life to do anything to get ahead, to hurt anyone he needs along the way and to in doing so drive himself crazy. But it's worth it just so that he can hold power over other people. The way that he or the power that he did not have his entire life.

And so yeah, this is like, just like you said, I don't think he's ever been connected more to Aldo than he is right now. Yeah, no, totally. Like, I think they're, terrifyingly so, they're on the same page right now. Oh, sorry, Father, I didn't see you there. No, I apologize, I was eavesdropping. Once I heard you speak of madness and doing all that it takes reminded me of my early readings of the Mad God Nethus.

Listen to me, you charlatan. How dare you? You can fool the rest of these nitwits as much as you like, but when you step here you watch the way you speak and you certainly do not apply the mad god's abilities to what occurred here. You said earlier as if it was nothing the mad god willed this munn to die. Whatever did it is far beyond the power of your mad god. It will destroy it as easily as you. You're dealing with powers you do not understand.

You are outmatched. And it's probably best if you stay behind. Yeah, and Aldo looms over him with his nine-foot spidery form. He says, You are trifling with matters you cannot possibly understand. We are close to the true knowledge of the universe, and your pitiful stature is a mere road bump in our path. He slowly backs up, reaches into his already open robes, and pulls out a symbol of a, like around his neck of a mask.

Half of the mask is white, half is black, and he holds it up against you like he's warding against a mask. Half of the mask is white, half is black, and he holds it up against you like he's warding against a vampire. He says, you are in a house of Nevis, and I am his servant. Whatever has infected this place that Lyle's brought in is seeping into you. You use the word infected. Infected as if it's some sort of disease. A disease that could be cured. A disease that slowly worked its way across your mad god's place of worship.

The word you should be using is conquered. It's already over. You've lost this place to whatever powers sought to do it. They didn't think twice before taking all it is you consider divine and making it nothing. You sound like a foolish rat. Petty insults from a petty mind. God loves all creatures, but I'm not God. And he storms out of the room. He runs into us surrounding him. What just happened? They were flanking. They were flanking. He bumps right into Eris. Attack of opportunity! Oh!

Reactive strike! Where are you going, Father? What's going on here? Dick? Sorry, I... It's just was getting warm. I thought I would walk these horrible hallways and get some fresh air. Watch out for that ghost.

Yes, what? Oh, yes, that's right, Mickey Weatherstone. Father? Yes, Suki? Do you need me to look at your mushrooms before you go? No, I I think he feels a little insecure about his mushrooms. I'm not feeling good. I think I'm I think I'm going to go Shit all right, he slides between Atticus and us. Bye. See you later. I'll, uh... I wish you luck.

Wait, are you leaving? Father, father, please. No, no, I know and I'm not wanted. Wait, wait, no, no, no, no. Where are you going? No, no. Ethel, don't you see? It's just what he wants. You're playing into his hand.

No, I just feel like it's time for me to just leave Maybe I'm not ready to take my final vows Gone and he's gone. Where he's gone He died Wow that was crazy. That was easy Atticus turns he says let's get back to, and he walks out of the room to head toward the east. Southeast. Southeast, the unexplored area of this place. Let's fucking go. And Aerith goes, yeah, Atticus, let's go. Yeah, let's fucking go. Let's fucking go. Let's fucking go.

We're all just saying that down the hallway. Let's fucking go. Echoing. You turn the corner. You turn the corner where Father Bubbles went, and there is no trace of him. This is so weird. Father.

Father. Dick. Dick. Father. Father. Dick. Dick. Dick. Wait, even if we come to the central John, we don't see him? You come to the central John. You see the passageway leading up.

It looks unopened. Wait. What? Are there any mushrooms about? Is there a trail of mushrooms? There are not. Fuck. Did you say unopened? You mean meaning he didn't leave that way. Looks like he didn't leave. And also I think Suki has the key to the stairs. Like he can't leave. Wait. He did not leave by conventional means. Bubbles!

Where are you? And you just hear... No! Wait, what direction? What cardinal direction? Where did the camera hear the voice? And just, just say it! What cardinal direction? Where did the camera hear the voice? Grow up!

Grow up, Joe! Everybody give me a perception check. 29 for Ethel. 30 for Atticus. 30 for Suki. Oh, this is a big number. Hold on. Oh, nice. Oh, shit.

Six and eight are always the hardest. They are. They are. Thirty four. Thirty. Oh, question mark. All right. You all sort of hear it coming in the direction of the southeast. We've run. Why would he go to the unexplored place? This fucking guy. I mean, Ethel, dude, slow down. You are so fired up over this, dude.

Relax. Father Dick is in trouble, and I have a therapy. And I have therapy scheduled with him. He promised. I have a lot of issues to work through! We know! Well, you don't have to say it like that. You come to an opening in the wall to the southeast,

what appears to be the only unexplored area of this level. It opens and there is a smell coming from this passageway up ahead. Smell of death. I cast Safe Passage. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, okay. Wait, what is Safe Passage? Safe Passage. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, okay. Wait, what is Safe Passage?

Safe Passage. You make a passage through the area safe for a brief amount of time. Anyone passing through the area gains the following benefits. It gets harmful effects of the terrain and environment, including environmental damage, hazardous terrain, and hazards in the area. Do you like that?

Do you like that shit? I... Yeah, it's pretty good, but I... Oh, he loves rules. It's a 60 foot like line of safety So I maybe do it right after we turn the corner. I could send it higher it up. I'm scared I'm doing it now. I could send an egg before you cast anything I can send an egg to see what's around the yeah, you see you see Suki put her hand out I think is trouble, and then she lowers it

Stop it Fuck father dick is in trouble. And then she lowers it. Stop it! Father dick is in trouble. Fuck. Do you want to send egg? Suki puts her hand down. I don't know Ethel, are you just going to walk into the room? Yeah. Ethel, Ethel.

Well then I'm not going to sacrifice egg if you're just going to ruin it. I would never ask you to put egg in danger. It's not about that. I could never ask you to make such a sacrifice. Okay, let's fucking go. Oh shit. What do you see? What? What is it? What do you see, Ethel? Ethel, you turn the corner and there is this preternatural stench. You don't see it. Nope, you don't see it. What you do see is vandalism and chaos.

There are remnants of bent, broken, and gnawed cages littering the room, along with mounds of books and paper, blocks of stone from perhaps the ceiling, and walls litter the ground, partially obscuring what looks like a statue. You hear from somewhere in the room. What? Come on, baby. I have a quick question. Are we going to play any Pathfinder or...

No. I detect magic. I don't know what game you think you're playing, but I'm playing fast, finally. Is there any presence of magic within 30 feet? Magic. Oh. Magic.

Little bit. Egg has soul sight within 30 feet also. Soul sight? Soul sight. Soul sight. Is there more than one different source of magic within 30 feet also. Soul Sight? Soul Sight. Soul Sight. Is there more than one different source of magic within 30 feet? Uh, no. No.

Within 30 feet you actually don't detect anything. What is Soul Sight? Soul Sight, um, my familiar gains life sense with a range of 30 feet. Well good for you. And I can share senses with him. Okay, okay, okay for you. I can share senses with him. I can't, can't, can't, can't. All right. Egg is where?

I know he's not on the map. Egg is on me right now. Within 30 feet? No, you don't detect anything. It's very eerie, this stench. What does the stench, is it the stench of death? Yeah, you see it, you see a body. Oh, where? About 40 feet away, lying on the ground, seems to be robed. You run up. Oh my god.

Honestly, I'm asking like from a mechanical computer standpoint, how do you move that fast? With the arrow keys. The arrow keys. Like it's a little video game. Oh wow. W-A-S-D. Bro, what's up? I didn't even know that.

Oh wow, everyone knows now. Oh, I guess we're all doing it now. Oh, grace. Okay, everyone. Children. We're just playing Ms. Pac-Man now. Oh, grace. Okay. Everyone. Okay. Children. They're children.

We're just playing Ms. Pac-Man now. Everyone's just running around. This is so amazing. Okay. Oh, my God. Did you enjoy that, audio listeners? Okay. Oh, my God.

That was so funny. I can't even laugh. Can you zoom down and show a little more of the room here? Yes, that's what I wanted you to do. Zoom out. I did do this earlier, but. You did? Yeah, I zoomed in on all the papers and the books.

All right. We run up to the body. Oh, geez. Who is it? Some woman. It's not him. Fuck it. Right there. Oh wait,. Who is it? Some woman. It's not him. Fuck it. Right there. Oh wait, there he is.

Oh shit. Right there. You see in the back of the room, Father Dick Bubbles lying on the ground, covered in a pool of blood. Oh. And he's just saying, oh, oh, oh. Father. Oh, my mushroom. Suki, help him.

Dick, are you all right? I don't want him to die. What's going on over there? You're literally just yelling from 50 feet away from him. 50 feet away. And saying, what's wrong? What's going on? How'd you get over there?

Is that a big fucking monster or something? Now that you turn the corner just beyond Father Dick, there is another angelic gate. Oh, I welcome. Just like the one, you guys even listening, you have no idea what's going on. There's another angelic I welcome. Just like the one, you guys even listening, you have no idea what's going on. There's another Angelic Gate that is just like the one that you came down from,

when you came down from upstairs. So once you turned all the angel head statues upstairs, an Angelic Gate opened out, maybe you have to put your hands in the mouth and pull on the tongue. You see another gate like this, but it's buried in like debris. Looks like parts of the ceiling have fallen down and crushed parts of it.

Making the mechanism screwed up. In the western part of the room, sorry. Right there where I'm pinging? Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh no, east. Why'd I say west? I just assumed that I had cardinal directions wrong. Suki runs up to Father Dick. Is he conscious?

Yeah. Oh. Is he actually conscious? Oh, he's saying that. Oh. Okay. Oh, are you an angel sent to take me to Nethus' chamber? SAM and MARISHA and LIAM and SAM and MARISHA and LIAM and SAM and MARISHA and SAM and LIAM and Oh no, I'm much worse. Oh, ha ha! Uh... Suki looks at her hands, still wearing her healer's gloves.

And she takes them off. Oh! Wow. It's like Rogue. Take, take, take me home. May I remind you? This is a revenue generating NPC. Do you want Sma or not, Joe? I'm very confused right now.

Before you tell me you're playing your character, just keep that in mind. We want Sma! I heard it. Somebody started a smut chant! Mechanically... I've been a prisoner all my life. No. Mechanically, is he...

And I keep waiting. Is he on... And I can't remember. Take, take me home. Okay, so he's conscious. He's singing a song He's singing the song he thinks you're an angel meant to take him to have okay loves Genesis all right Suki takes off her healing gloves and tucks them into her

Pristine white robe these pristine white gloves. She's absolutely soaking wet. She... Not even, not even like that. Oh, sorry. What other way? Explain it. You just said she's absolutely soaking wet. Oh, sorry. What other way? Yeah, what? Explain it.

You just said she's absolutely soaking wet. She knows what she did. We didn't just step out of a pool. She takes from her back her staff, and she holds it with two hands. Yes, heal me. Bonus damage. Heal me.

Look. Ethel, or Aerys stands like in between Suki and Ethel, just kind of casually. Yes. Look at. And she raises it above her head. The angels have come. And she's looking at him square between his eyes where this mushroom has started to sprout. And she goes to swing her staff, and suddenly she sees her sister on a very high tree branch.

And she sees her own hand pushing her sister from behind, from the tree, and watching her fall, and hitting her neck in an unnatural position. Oh my God. And then it flashes back and she's laid her hand very softly on Father Bubble's chest. And casts, don't make me regret this. A first level heal. And casts don't make me regret this a

First level heel you cast a first level heel and you watch this like gaping wound Right when you put your hand on his chest you which was wide open there is a gaping wound there right near his weird ab. As you cast Heal, it starts to suture itself. We recently learned that this weird ab might not actually be AI generated. So I apologize for body shaming anyone. Exhibit A for abs. He, his eyes kind of dart open and he says, oh, two angels and a monster. And all of a sudden some of you in the room feel things start slapping you roll for initiative.

No! No! No! Roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, what did you get? Oh wait, I wasn't counting. Hold on. Suki,

come on! 38. Did you just make up a number? What? Did you just make up a really high number? No, no. It's a 38. 38. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Uh... Sorry. 31. 31? Yeah. Okay. Oh no! There was a second there. Erris. 31. Oh!

31, twins. Ethel. 32. Oh, never to be outdone. Aldo Casimir. Uh, roll to natural one for a title of a nois- Are there any Australians here tonight, by the way? He always asks this now.

Nope, they don't know where Nashville is. All right. That'll be 19, please. 19? Okay. Round one. Something is rotten in here. New smells have begun to overpower your senses.

Suki, what do you do? What do I see? Do I see? I felt something. You don't see shit! Oh. What does the camera hear? So fun. So fun to make fun of that. All you can see is a stench. That's it. I mean, this Nashville show is going to go down in history for all of its senses humor. I don't see anything. Nothing. I was hit with something. You feel like some long thing slapping against your legs.

Oh. All right, come on. Lot of people in this room go to church. I am going to, I'm gonna delay. I'm gonna just delay. Gonna delay? Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I'm delaying. Sweet.

Party time. Okay, I'm delaying. Sweet. Party time. Okay, I take my turn. Nope. Oh. Oh. I'm very confused by the encounter tracker, which seems to be completely wrong. Why?

Because Ethel is first, Suki is second, it's Aldo's turn, it's, it seems old. Oh, you know what? I'm using Gon gonjon for some reason oh that's bad business bad business I'm sorry they don't sponsor us don't look at the initiative track it's wrong okay all right so Suki holds something happens what I am going to... This could get real ugly.

What happened to Father Bubbles? No one questioned that the entire time you were thinking it. She literally asked him multiple times. She literally asked him what happened. He was not of his right mind. He was singing Phil Collins. But we still questioned. That's fair.

I distinctly remember Suki saying, what's going on from 50 feet away? And I literally said, is there a big monster over there? So that's on you. I don't think it's a big monster. No? Here's what happens. Against your off-guard AC rat. Oh. Come on. Oh. Does a 40 hit your off guard AC? That is a critical hit. Oh.

No. It's going to be a... Yeah! That was his dad. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You just see Atticus go, go, go, go, go. Just buffing it, and then you, Ethel, start to feel something smash you. 41 to hit. That's a hit. Not a crit. Not a crit.

Wow. 26 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, ow. Ow. What was that? Next one comes at Iris! 33 to hit.

That hits. You take 25 points of bludgeoning damage. And finally the last one comes at Suki. Father Bubbles. Father Bubbles. Suki it's a 30. at suki. Father bubbles. Father bubbles. Suki it's a 30. Yeah. Dirty 30. Yep.

Oh, not bad. 18 points of bludgeoning. Bum boom, bum boom, bum boom, bum boom. Just buffeted by something in this room that you cannot see. It is Evel's turn unless Suki wants to act. Uh, no. I don't know. I can't see anything. So I'm gonna continue holding. I get hit, but now I'm like looking around trying to figure out what's going on. Right. You're gaining your feet, trying to figure out what's going on. You look around. This is all happening in real time. You see nothing. Your friends are wavering on their

feet. It is Ethel's turn. Could I do a seek action? Absolutely can my good friend. A seek action to try and determine what is going on here. Trying to triangulate what slapped me this way. Yep so this is going to be a perception check against perhaps a stealth DC of some sort. Oh 37. Woo!

Okay. Okay. You sense that right between you and Atticus, there is some invisible large creature. Oh. You know it's there. You can attack that space. DC 11 flat check, and then you can attack. Not tonight my friend, because Ethel has blind fight.

Oh! Well, oh! So I do not need to succeed at a flat check to target concealed creatures, you're not off guard to creatures that are hidden from you. It is not concealed, it is hidden. It's hidden, unless you're off guard for them for reasons other than the hidden condition, and you only need a successful DC-5 flat check

to target a hidden creature. You are off guard from the hidden condition. No, other than the hidden condition. I see, okay. All right. So I do need to do a flat check, but it's DC-5. Okay, nobody likes a braggart. Natural 20. No!

What? Hell yeah. Yeah, wasted. Wasted to the gods of dice! All right, I'm gonna do a double slice. I'll do two flat checks for you. Sure. And 15 on the second flat check.

Okay. Pretty good, Cappucasza. Should have been your first hit. Double slice. Double slice. Double slice! Two natural ones. Wow! Wow! Holy fucking shit!

Natural 20 on the first flat check! Two natural ones! Matthew. Don't ever roll two dice at the same time! What's wrong with you?! Joe! Don't ever roll two dice at the same time. What's wrong with you? Joe, I spent eight years with you yelling at me to roll dice at the same time. Damage dice, damage dice.

He also was like, can we play Pathfinder? Don't kill Mr. Bubbles. We have a revenue stream, so don't listen to him. Two natural ones will be two fan fumbles! Oh no this is so fucking bad. This is the greatest moment of my GM career. We have a fumble here that I think the fumble haters are gonna really, really, really love. This fumble alone could kill the entire party tonight. Shut the fuck up.

Merry Christmas, Troy. Jesus Christ. Just lie. Who's it from? Just do a lie. Joe from? Just do a lie. Joe? Yeah, just a lie. I'm sorry, this is, okay.

This is from Dylan in Nashville, Tennessee. Is there a Dylan here tonight? Dude, there's like eight Dylans. I know. I met four Dylans. They're all trying to get their big break. All right, looks like no Dylan, and he's lucky. Hi Dylan.

Because I was going to kill him in the parking lot. Oh my God. This one's called Go Fumble Yourself. Dylan and he's lucky. Because I was going to kill him in the parking lot. My god. This one's called Go Fumble Yourself. Nice. Is that Dylan here? You have so hard that you've humbled yourself and confused your friends.

Oh my god. It makes sense you can't see this thing. You guys are going gonna start swinging wildly. You, Ethel, gain the confused condition for one D four rounds. I'll give it a roll right here in front of old Kate. I mean, this is a party killer. That's a four by the way. Oh!

That is a four by the way. Oh! That is a four. Yeah. Any ally within 15 feet must roll a will save or become confused as well. Oh my God. Oh no. Please roll a will save for Father Dick. Troy, you have this last chance

To negate this If you do not it is on you don't you put it on me. It's on Dylan He drew first blood not me He's here fucking somewhere. I know I met God damn many goddamn Dillons. He knows what he wrote. You have to be here. Son of a bitch. I'm gonna kiss him on the lips. Stop hiding you fucking coward.

Even if it's just his corpse. Why did I do that? Why did I just kiss a dead man? Cool fumble. Father Dick, Suki, Eris, roll a will save. Father Dick rolled and failed. I feel so confused. What is the DC? The creature's AC? Fantastic question. Yeah, the creature's AC. I knew Father Dick failed because it was a terrible role. Creatures AC? Yeah. Ask Kate what she rolled. How'd you do that Kate? It's gonna come at some

point. So I just want to say I got this lovely new set of dice from our friend Billy. Hey, Billy. Billy! It's really nice set you guys. We love Billy. I've been rolling it tonight and doing pretty well. I just rolled it right now and rolled a natural one. Oh! Is that what they taught you in med school? Ha ha ha! That's right.

That's right. That's right. Uh, so. He's also come to a lot of shows. I mean, he is a friend of the show. I don't think he's ever sat closer. I could punch him in the face without getting up. If he was Dylan, he'd already be dead.

Narratively, it makes sense. Maybe he is Dylan. Right, he goes, ha ha! And I would have got away with it you regardless he should probably roll a will save because he's in within 15 feet oh skin on fire narratively it makes sense though I mean she's very distracted by Ethel right now so it makes sense all right so you'll be confused for two D4 rounds? You are confused, is that a success or fail or critical fail?

Critical fail. It's a 20 adjusted. You're confused for two rounds. Okay. He got four. No it's not a D4 for us. Alright so two rounds for you is one round or two rounds on a critical fail? 32. 32 you're, that's a pass. I guess we know the creatures AC now you're welcome Yes, it's it's it's hard we don't but okay I Also have to tell a very quick die story. This is pretty amazing so I'm gonna go to the bathroom Am I involved in the story nope I'm leaving yeah Number one or number two? So at this...

Just want to know how much time Joe has. Sippy, number one or number two? Sippy, livestream it! Roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, rick-a-roll, roll, rick-a-roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, roll, She's gonna have a fight in that bathroom. All right. No, I got a fantastic die that has a unique story that's never been told on any of these stages. This die was given to me by Logan. Logan was at the retreat. There he is, my man.

Logan! Man, you can't get a more unique story than this particular die at this moment. This die is the first die ever that was given to me by a friend of the show, a Naishville person that has only ever been used to roll for Atticus because he played Atticus in the gauntlet and never used the die until that game today and then passed it over to me and was said use it tonight. So that was awesome.

So it is someone else's die, but it has never been used for anyone but Atticus and it rolled a natty 17. Wow. Oh! My man. For a total of 36. All right, so you're fine too.

No, not confused. Thank God! when I saw I was in 15 feet I was like I'm gonna murder that dude in the parking lot that I was my first thought so a couple things father bubbles confused Suki and Atticus not confused Ethel confused for four rounds Eris confused for two rounds not necessarily Quick remember you got to read the last line of the jaunt. Yep Necessarily quick remember you got to read the last line of the jaunt. Yep If you each time you take damage from an attack or spell you attempted DC 11 flat check to recover from the confused Okay Good fumble Let's hear the second one

I forgot I fucking forgot At this point all I can hope for is that I crit myself and fall unconscious You think I forgot? You think I forgot? I fucking forgot. Oh my god. At this point, all I can hope for is that I crit myself and fall unconscious. Oops, I crit my pants. Is there a Marty here from Knoxville, Tennessee? Knoxville. Marty? Marty?

Would they even say... Hi Marty. They're afraid now. Yeah. They're all fleeing all fleeing. All right. This is all Marty we met earlier Come on Marty Marty Don't be fucking shy if Marty's in the bathroom and then see this on YouTube. He's gonna be devastated Come on devastated. This one's called what a hit You lock onto your target and swing your weapon with all your might only to have your grip loosen at the wrong time. Your weapon goes flying clear across the room as your original target cackles uncontrollably at your misfortune.

Your attack misses and your weapon, if you're holding one, falls to the feet of your nearest ally. Your ally must attempt a reflex save to attempt to dodge your flying weapon. So that would be your lover. Eris. Wow. Reflex save. I'm going to use it again, Billy. OK. I need to.

Natural 20. Oh! Oh! Oh! Come on. Come on. Come on. You've been redeemed. Oh, Billy.

Oh, Billy. Oh, Billy. Oh, Billy. And then the hatchet returns to my hand. Oh! Oh! Nice. Forgot. Now, do you have any actions left? Oh! Nice! I forgot.

Now, do you have any actions left? No. I saw it and then... Here's something that we've sort of eschewed in the past that I will not eschew today because I want to kill all of you. When there is some sort of invisible situation and you see Eris or Ethel rather hacking away into that space, we've just in the past sort of just been like, oh there's something in that space I can attack. Technically that's not true. You successfully seeked.

You need to then use the point out action for your allies to be able to take advantage of that knowledge. That is annoyingly correct. My favorite kind of correct. So, with that, Suki you want to take an action or two maybe even three? I am going to yeah you know what I'll take a seek action. Seeing that Ethel did that I will also try to perceive what he's attempting to hit. Seek it! Not hitting.

Not hitting. 22. 22. 22. What is he doing? What is he doing over there? I don't know. I don't know. Okay, so that's one action.

Can I do it again back to back? Sure. Okay, I'm gonna do it again. See, see, see. Billy. I'm gonna use the other die that Billy gave me. Get shit from Billy. Yeah, well.

What's going on around here? Hell yeah. 34. Whoa. Pretty good. Pretty good. 34, yeah. You know in the general vicinity

where there's something really bad okay and you can move up to there and attack or just do some sort of ranged attack there my last action will be to point it out to everyone okay she points it out now keep in mind you can't just be like I saw Eris or excuse me Ethel attack there I'm just gonna go attack that random space, and then I roll your flat check and your attack roll, and I make up any number I want. As is tradition.

As is tradition. Right. All right, Suki, good round. Not really. Atticus. I'm gonna go with, I'm gonna go with Gut Instinct here, and it could be very bad meta, because I have no recall knowledge here. He's gonna run away from the source of what just did 40 plus points of damage to him on a crit. He just feels it hit him and then I hit myself.

And it hurt just then. It's been a long week. And he runs from the source. That could provoke obviously right you run from the source of what? You know not Anything else is he unmolested? I chose my words care. I'm not a hundred beyond the game master's purview. I never read your full backstory He gets there. Okay, he's gonna fall back and then he is going to, oh I've seen this trick before, and he is

going to do the incantation to see the unseen. So he will cast Sword of Omens. Give me sight beyond sight. So, nice. remastered, see invisibility. Okay. There we go. You just cast it on yourself. Yes. So you should be able to see things that no one else can see, period, no... Yeah, well, I mean, the only other thing is if I attack it with like a strike or something or a ranged spell attack, it still has concealment, but I can see it.

You can see anything in this room that's invisible. Oh shit. Is that true? That is... Yeah. Come on, you dummy. That's why I'm being very careful with my words. Why don't you read it, Joe?

You know what? I could have said that to you a few times on Air Sydney. You have. And I did. There is a remastered version here. You gaze. You can see invisible creatures and objects. They appear to you as translucent shapes.

They are concealed to you. Cool. So they are blurred. Blurred but visible in any direction that I could see. You rush through the room to the side here. You cast, see invisibility. Oh, I'm so fucked. And you look up and you see two creatures.

I thought it was just one. Like. Oh my god! No! Oh no! Fans of SideQuest Sidesesh will remember that one of these TPK'd the party. There are two of them! Oh my god. Now I'm fucking mad. It looks like the body of like an elephant rhinoceros except it has too many legs. It has all of these like

alien xenomorph like mouths coming out with teeth and tentacles flying everywhere. These must be the tentacles that buffeted all four of you when it did a tentacle flurry. And at the top of its head is this almost feminine face with long white hair and sharp teeth and orange glowing eyes. There are two of them. You see them.

No one else does. What do you do? That's the end of my turn. Move to action cast. Do you want to say anything? see them, no one else does. What do you do? That's the end of my turn. Move to action. Cast. Do you want to say anything? Sure, free action.

There are two of them. There's one to the north as well. Unfortunately, the rest of you cannot see. And they disappear. Shagagagaga. Oh, that was a cool effect. That was fun. Oh, that's fun. Ladies. Oh, that's fun.

Ladies and gentlemen, Foundry VTT. Alright. Eris, what do you do? Well, I'm confused. What does Eris do though? Eris is confused. Yes, confused. Let's look at the old confused condition. I'm next to Suki and Ethel.

And? And Father Bubbles. And the other creature. And the creature, but I... Eris doesn't know the creature's there. No, I pointed it out. You do know. Yes, but you don't have your wits about you. You attack wildly. You're off guard. You don't treat anyone as your ally. You use all your actions to strike or cast defensive cantrips. You randomly determine the target.

Troy, in all fairness, since this is happening, will you put Pepsi on the map? Because Pepsi should be there and should be included. Where? Next to me. Oh, perfect. There you go. Boop. Okay. Fair. Fine. Hello. Pepsi talks like father. Yeah, why is that? Are you being Pepsi? No, yep. That's Pepsi. He's there. No one cares. Are you being Pepsi? No, yep, that's Pepsi. He's there. No one cares.

Eris, so you've got to start attacking wildly. Yeah. You have three targets. Father Bubbles, Suki, and Eris. I'm going to determine the first one. One, two, Ethel. One, two, Ethel, and the monster. Gross. Sure. She could attack the invisible monster. So let's see. I'm just going to roll.

What numbers are what? Don't worry about it. What? You attack Ethel. Of course I do. So I have a couple cantrips. Use Fireballet, heightened to 10th level. I've got four offensive cantrips.

heightened to 10th level. I've got four offensive cantrips. That'd be amazing if you just decided, like SGM right now, that she leveled up three levels. I could fire it up. Boom, lights up the back of the room. All right, yeah. You want to use a good one? What do you want to use?

Well, I've got four prepared that are offensive, so I just roll a D4. Sure, okay, fine. Or just do the one that automatically hits. Just roll a random. Hit me! Hit me! Don't let him tell you. I'm rolling randomly. I feel like she's confused. Oh, that's a crack die.

Okay, four. Phase Bolt. Nice! Boom! Hit him! That's a spell attack wait what I know I feel confused But he does have a reactive strike. I'm off guard and that does have the manipulator. I'm off guard. I'm off guard Oh, you can't take it when you're off guard. Okay, well Matthew I will I wanted you to hit her I Want to get hit too because then I can roll the flat check he likes it He's done or I can roll the flat chair natural one. Oh

Wait You are so I magic fumble Punch him with your fist Or cast a force brush That's fair. That's like a confused That's a confused, phase-bold, magic fumble against her lover against her lover

What about Ryan from Henderson, Tennessee? There he is. Matthew's going to find you in the parking lot, Ryan. I mean, no, I am. It's a fumble. It's an open and shut case. His mouth was full of hair. We know who did it.

There's guys like Dylan that you want to murder in the parking lot. And then there's guys like Ryan who get a fumble pulled that is so clutch and so key. It is amazing. What? This one's titled, Talk It Out. Ryan, bottle cap! Bottle cap! Whether it's simply exhaustion or a more complex emotional response triggered by all you've been through together Oh my god!

You lose both the spell and the will to engage in violence You desperately wish for a diplomatic approach to end this conflict and you have to make a will save. Oh my god. All right the DC of the will save is going to be Ethel's AC. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. Get that guy a Nooner. He's taking a bow. It's a 31, 31. Because I am off guard.

That is my AC exactly. Success. Awesome, alright, so success, let's see. The moment passes and reality sits back in no ill effects, so yeah success you're good Great you still want to kill him perfect yeah You're right bad angry me how many this is weird how many actions was face bolt? That was two and then I have one more and I can also move so I'm gonna move. You can't move.

You can't move. Just punch him in the stomach. I can't move? You can only take strike action. I can only stride. Do you have a weapon in your hand? You have to strike or cast an offensive cantrip with all your actions. Alright.

Do you have a weapon in your hand? Yeah, I got my staff. Okay, you brought your entire staff. Go, get that man. All right, I never use this. This one's gonna be against Suki. Okay, oh shit. Just try to phase bolt Ethel, sorry.

Ethel. Your heart knew. And you're like hit me hit me and I'm just like oh and it just like fizzles in my hands And then I turn to suki instead right you swing your staff at her face Sukey turns just at the last moment as you come swinging around like babe Ruth 29 29? That just hit! Shut up! It's only 1d4 damage to hit. You hit me?

After all that roleplay, you're just going to smack her across the face? One point of damage. Suki looks fucking pissed. Well, you see Aeris' eyes and she looks frazzled. looks fucking pissed. Well you see Aeris' eyes and she looks frazzled. Doesn't matter. You hit her with your staff and Suki just turns. Slowly I turn.

Niagara Falls Okay note taken Okay Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh that's right somebody said you need a flat check you're allowed at the end of each turn to roll Flat check to remove the computer. I'm not so damaged. Oh you didn't take I'm fucking awesome. Thanks. Oh Okay, so she rolls it cuz she's confused as well I'm not confused okay I'm confused all right something happens one of these strange horrible spawns this one right there that only Atticus can see Atticus you watch as it slides up to Aldo and one! Aldo! And one of its mouths.

Defend yourself! Come on! To bite him with its jaws! It is a 40! Yeah, that's a crit. Oh, oh no, oh no! Oh no. 48 no! Oh no. 48 points of piercing damage.

And then I need a fortitude save. Just like. Come on! Fucking wizard's chest! That is a 23. 23, not a critical failure. Wow. It bites you with one of these mouths coming out of its body, this elongated mouth full of sharp teeth.

You see this, Atticus, and no one else can see this goes down. It grabs you, it latches on with its teeth. Jesus. And then it just starts going... Just sucking on you. And then it just starts going Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, m Still has one more action. After sucking on Aldo. Sucking on Aldo, sucking on. You see it move. Was that a free suck?

Free suck. Yeah. Okay. You see it move. Right? You suck as a free action drink? Right there. So now, Atticus, that's where they are. Yeah.

Jesus Christ. Wait, what? And it is now Aldo's turn. Drained one. Fuck! Alright, Aldo, Okay. Are they no longer invisible? No, just putting them there to scare you.

They are invisible. I'm scared. All right, so Aldo drains, and he's still got this spidery form, which made him even more ganglyly spindly this effect like drains even more sort of mass off of his frame and he but he digs deep with an even greater focus well first okay so he's gonna do let's do a knowledge check first of all okay you know a cult cult would be the make the most sense here you have a good occult. Cultism? That would be a 30.

30. Okay, I can give you some information. These are creatures known as spawns of Yog-Sothoth. Oh. These alien gods, these entities like Xamandor and Cthulhu and Yog-Sothoth. Oh. These alien gods, these entities like Jamin-Dor, and Cthulhu, and Yog-Sothoth, sometimes they have babies here on Earth. This is one that has grown up. The Dunwich Fire?

Oh shit. Yeah. Is it? Yog-Sothoth. Yeah, look at that. Look it up. All right, they are immune to cold and fire. Alright, great to know. Yes, yes.

Good knowledge, info Troy. Okay, so they're what? They're children of... Yogg-Sothoth. Spawn. Alright, so... Okay. Mm.

Aldo. He has pointed out where one of them is. Okay. Which one, Troy, is it? Just so we know. The southernmost one. Okay. This one.

So, uh, shit. Aldo is going to invoke the Eye of Fortune, which he has, is that this eye patch over his face, which allows him to roll twice on any roll for concealment or hidden to hit. Take the better. Okay. Okay. This is good. Yeah, this is great.

Alright, so do you want to throw a bomb? Yes at one of them all right, so roll twice take the better DC 11 flat check, okay? All right, I rolled a 14 already so okay. You don't want to roll that other one see if you roll 20 doesn't matter but wouldn't have any effect at all mechanically and he is, okay. He's going to throw a moderate lightning bomb. Okay, okay.

Okay, that is a 29 to hit. Miss. Splash damage? Uh, yeah. That would be five electricity splash damage to it and any creature adjacent to it. Ethel, Eris, take five points of electricity, Damon. And we roll some flat checks. Yeah! Okay. Oh, so we take five points of the... And see if you can remove the... DC11.

DC11 flat check to remove the confused condition, and I hope you remove it. Natural 20. Oh! Natural 18! That's huge! And a natural 18 for Kayte. No longer confused. Till and shall live.

Till and shall yet live. That was the most useful bomb that hurt us you ever threw. Anymore actions, Aldo. I've got one more action. And I'm gonna Thrive. I'm sure there's no Australians here. I thrive sure there's no Australians here I'm gonna fire Rawr a

Dread ampule Oh Moderate dread ampule at this crate shop. No actually no I'll throw it. I'll throw another moderate Lightning yeah, okay. no, I'll throw another moderate Lightning. Yeah. OK. Yeah. All right, so Flat Check, first of all. Fuck. All right, now you're 16.

Total of? Doesn't matter. OK. All right. It's a hit. OK. Wait, it is a hit? Well, no, that was the Flat Check.

Ah, gotcha. Sorry. All right, there's a lot going on. All right, sorry. All right. It's a lot going on. So all right, so that is 35 that's a hit How many points the damage And of what kind that is electricity damage, okay That is 15 points total. Whoa. If electricity damage and it is off, God. Oh, huge. No, I'm gonna get the Ammonix Chains here. Wow. Okay.

Sure, there's no Australians here. So Atticus, you're seeing this play by play that no one else can see. He throws these two bombs. The first one misses, hurts your allies. This one hits, crackles with electricity. We go to round two of what will be a 45 round fight that will last to Christmas. It is one of these spawn of Yog-Sothoth's turns. And we'll just put him on the screen so you can see him. Oh, hey, buddy.

Welcome back. Welcome back. All right. Oh, man, so much cool shit to do for a tentacle strider against this with reach. I'm going to bite Ethel. I'm hungry. Natural three. Nice! However! That's a 28 to hit.

Miss! Come on, man! I'm going to bite you again! 36. That hits. A couple things are going to happen. First I'm going to roll some damage. Some of my dice no longer have numbers on them. What? Who are you, Big Julie and Guys and Dolls?

Somebody out there got that. Four people like that. Chances are, only doing it for some doll! That's why we keep around. Chances are he's only doing it for some doll. That's why we keep her around. For all the blue hairs. It is like dinner theater, kind of, with all the tables and everything.

We could easily be doing a dinner theater production of guys and dolls up here. Twenty-seven points of piercing damage and give me a fortitude save. I know you got that fortitude thing where you never fail a four to two save come on sky 31 success Chris success Now I am going to swing a tentacle at Eris final action map No. Final action. Map. 21.

Miss. Yes! Yeah, right. Nice. All right, terrible round for that creature. Those three attacks, it is now Ethel's turn. OK, double slice. I'm going to do my flat checks.

Yep. Yeah. Go to. You see five for me. Come on, bro. You see five for me. Come on, bro. You can't see me. Succeed at both.

Yes, come on. Only roll one attack at a time. I swear to God. One might affect the other. I know which one is which. Hammer first. Oh! Not a natural one.

Okay. 30 to hit on the war hammer and 27 to hit on the hatchet. Good rolls. Both misses. It's off guard. Fuck. Yeah! Alright, the 30 hits.

Let's go give it to you. Wait for you to get it on your own. X go deliver to ya. Ethel go give it to ya. I love that we play ACDC for a knowledge check. I'm just very excited. DMX for a crit. For a basic hit. 19 points of bludgeoning.

Okay. Okay. Alright. 2 points of bludgeoning. Okay, okay Alright two points of cold that doesn't do anything. No, no take your cold and shove it Take this cold and shove it. It's cold check to see if I have Titan wrestler. I don't Okay, Ethel is going to He's gonna move okay is going to, he's going to move. Okay. Respect the difficult terrain. In fact.

Oh, it's all difficult terrain. Yes, this whole room is, I didn't really hold you to it. Every square in the entire room is difficult terrain. I'm not sure, but I think most of it is. That makes a big difference. Yeah, it does. Let me see.

Ah, shouldabby suspense. Mysterious. In his defense, he was very clear that he didn't prep the session. Oh, yeah. No. 100%. Hold on.

Oh, there's one other thing I forgot. But what the fuck is it? Being the best, it costs two squares of, wherever there's dense rubble on the floor, it's difficult to write. OK. And so all those sections dense rubble on the floor, it's difficult to write. Okay. And so all those sections of rubble. So over Schmah, right there, over Schmee, over Schmiggy, over Schmoo. Over Schmah?

Schmoo, Schmoo. The spots with dense rubble! Could be clearer! The spots with dense rubble could be clear. Okay, I want to play tactically but I don't want to leave you all alone. Alright, so Ethel is just going to, that's going to be a spot for Terrain and he'll move Schma going around the southward direction. Okay. So he's going to try to flank the creature. If anyone steps up to hit it.

You move around to flank the creature. Aldo, you hear a sound from up above. And you look up and you see part of the ceiling coming down towards you. Give me a reflex, Zayn. No! The trailer is collapsing! Fuck off! Uh, that is a 22. 22, you take five points of damage from falling stone.

G-g-g-g-gum lands on your head. It is now Suki's turn. Okay. Suki can only see, well not even see, but know where the southernmost monster is. Uh-huh. She just saw Aldo get really badly fucked up, and then also a big rock just fell on his head So suki is going to cast a fifth level heal for Aldo She casts it she reaches out her hand and he gets I wrote it down

64 points of healing nice Holy shit. Wow. Then she is going to brush against father bubbles. Oh. In a non-sensual way. way. So just like friends. Regular platonic brushing and then she is going to skirt around backward behind this like broken statue with her back. You mean the dense rubble? Yeah the dense sorry the dense rubble is what I meant to say. With her back against the wall to get away from this potential invisible creature That's her turn two action John heel one action John move and now Pepsi is going to bite and Roll to see the creature was that your sixth or seventh action No, Pepsi takes his own action. He's a mature animal companion

So he can attack or stride and there's a creature nearby okay he's going to try to bite would you like me to do a perception well fuck my ass you you pointed out the creature which yeah which has a point out and snakes know when you when you pointed something snakes know what that means She speaks snake you also pointed out the other creature. I'm gonna kill you guys I'm gonna beat you guys up in the parking lot with Dylan. There's gonna be There's gonna be a mass of bodies in the parking lot Tragedy struck city winery this evening. All right, that's multiple gangs with strange improvised weapons went at each other

In a parking lot, and they kept yelling. That's a crit Pepsi runs away. That was heard to scream. I did it for bubbles Pepsi is going to slither through I can't control him, but he slithers through the rubble away. I can't move him on the map. He leaves the adventure. No. Perfect. There he goes. No, he goes to Atticus. He slithers towards Atticus.

You know, Suki, I have a snake as well. Just come back. Don't draw any attention. What did you say about the bubbles I wasn't listening to? Don't worry about it. What did you say father bubbles? I wasn't listening to you worry about it my mother's more coming back Atticus's turn Atticus you see things that others cannot I will show you what I see Oh this business is as bad as it gets. That's what I imagine. Alright, Atticus is, he is going to try to take these creatures' advantage away from them.

He's going to attempt to bring them down to Earth seeing their foolish trick he simply mumbles under his rat breath, amateurs. And he casts Dispel Magic on the creature of the south to dispel its invisibility. Now this is assuming it is a spell like casting invisibility that allowed it to be invisible. Okay, okay. But I will attempt a counteract check. Okay, against the DC of the spell? Yeah, I guess. I guess it would be its creature DC. Yeah, I have the DC.

Okay, great. So I'm going to do an arcana check against it to attempt to counteract it. Okay, let's see what you got. attempt to counteract it. Okay, let's see what you got. This is tough. This is tough cookies. Use tough cookies. You doing math over there? It's not a lot of math.

Do you want to say what you rolled? Tiny little numbers. Do you want to say what you rolled? Oh no! I will say I rolled a 30. I'm not very confident in it. However, I think knowing the mechanics of this and the situation that I'm in, I may want to roll with it rather than risking a natural one.

So I'm going to go ahead and stick with 30. Final answer? Final answer. Now question for you. Are you targeting just one creature or are you able to... The creature to the south. The creature to the south. You reach out and what incantation do you say? Your luck is in our amateurs.

And all of you see this creature. Yeah. Woo. It's the knockout on a blood, sweat, and tears. The hard work we've been putting in for years. It's the knockout and the time is. Woo. Athel- oh. Oh, jeez.

All right. He is going to then. Cheesy, cheesy. Well, I sort of whispered this to Sydney earlier. I was like, I think we're kind of in a place where it's pull out all the stops. I feel very scared of this fight, considering that these very creatures,

one of them TPK'd our party previously. Granted lower level, but two of them, this is frightening me. So he is going to also burn his Quicken Casting for the day. And he is going to use only one action to cast Fourth Level Lightning Bolt through that creature. Oh, fuck yes! King!

So that is a reflexing. So do you hit both or just one? Just the one, unfortunately, because I couldn't move, but I'm going to try to do as damage damage to the visible one as I can so we can just try to get it out of the fight fast 33 33 is the Yeah Sorry sorry

Stop it stop asking 33 success or what yes okay it is a oh I use that same shitty dice roller yeah it's real shitty yep okay you unfortunately only take 10 points of electricity damage. Yeah. It's a bad roll. No, no, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It is 15. It's 15. It is, it was heightened to fourth level, so there was an extra die, and I rolled a ten on the extra die,

so it was, comes down to 15 when it's halved. Okay. Eris. Electricity. Alright, um. You see one of these horrible looking creatures. Now that I'm able to see this, I realize I think what Ethel's trying to do and having us flank. So like, I don't know, I'm terrified when I see this and I go, you want me to stay here? No, get out of there. Okay. Um, she's going to cast haste

on you as she moves to the other side of the broken area where Suki is against the wall, away from the creature that she can see. Alright, we'll ranged Haste and then you back up with Suki. What's up? Hey, it's pretty fucked up. Shit's fucked.. Shit's fucked. It is one of the spawn's turns. The one that is invisible I will show him. Boop.

Boop. This one is going to... Oh man, what do I want to do here? How much movement do I have? Do I go after the ladies? No! No! The rat.

It's ladies night. Oh no! It's a bachelorette party! Oh it is! In the east corridor! And an uninvited creeper has shown up! I bet you there's a couple bacheloret bachelor parties that are having a tentacle flurry tonight Lots of free sucking am I right?

Let party tonight's first tentacle against suki 28 against Suki, 28. Missed. Stop lying about your AC. I didn't even have to do math. We're in front of a crowd. It's just on the sheet and you missed. You just make up numbers.

Yep. Second attack. Against two. You, 30. Hits. U30. Hits. Damn it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, 31 points of bludgeoning damage.

Wham, with a tentacle. Athel, you just see- It was a lot. You just see Eris shaking against the wall to be buffeted by a tentacle Smacks her across the face. She goes oh She looks at you Does it hit her again no God I wish I had another action

But it is Aldo's turn. Aldi, all right, so. Aldi. It's still invisible, that one, right? Yes. So, wait, which one is invisible? Oh, wait a minute, you're off guard, because it's invisible.

Oh, shit. Yeah. Nice try. I was literally about to go, hand off the chess piece, I guess we're moving on. If you want to retcon it, that's fine. I think it's... I do 27 points of bludgeoning damage.

Wham! And Suki also just looks at you. Bubbles or the monster? The monster. You can't see him, he's invisible. I hear the damage he does and I look. You look straight through to nothing and you see bubbles. Joey, you can come back, man. Don't be shy.

Weirdo. I just want him to see me. The camera hears all, Joe. The camera hears all. I think that was Cecil B. DeMille. The camera hears all. You know, that's a bottle cap. That's why I like that.

Yeah. I don't know. It's very funny. It's the knockout. Hey, everybody at the table. Raise your hand real quick if you got a bottle cap tonight. Wait, did I? If I have a bottle cap? Yeah, yeah.

Do something good. Aldo! Alright. So is the one, this creature closest to me, it is visible? Yes, the one near the creature closest to me, it is visible? Yes, the one near the lady. Near the lady? Lady's night. Alright, so LR is, he is gonna throw another like moderate lightning bomb.

Okay. My ass. No! Natural one. Oh a bomb! I'm going to use my. Alright. Shitty thing. There we go! That is 37. That's a hit. Okay. Alright. Oh wait. Actually that is 30, 39. Hit not a crit. Oh is it still off guard? Uh, no. Not now. And it is just a hit. Okay. Uh, that is 25 points of damage. Okay. It is now off guard.

Okay. Okay. Um, alright. With my second action, I'm gonna throw, uh, I'm gonna throw a blight bomb. Blight bomb? That is a 28 hit. Even off guard, that's a miss. Okay, that is five points of splash damage. Okay. Okay.

And then with my- Does Ethel take that as well? No, because- actually, yeah, he does. Wow. And then with my Ethel take that as well. No because Oh, actually, yeah, he does Wow, okay, sorry at all Like it has you pay for this no and with my last attack Ethel be damned. I'm going to throw a dread impule. Sorry, that is a 31.

31? That's a hit. Okay. Nice third attack hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that is 29 points of damage. Okay. Uh, and it is Frightened 1. Oh!

It's gonna reduce its AC a little bit. Stacking with the off-guard. Round whatever. It's its turn. It's mad. What's going on over here? you guys got a lot of chatter? You're planning for that you got fourth of July plans. Oh, they're making way to see the best fireworks We are focused on only the game. We're discussing strategy

Lightning bolt lightning bolt fireball. I. Alright, stop. Castles and Dragons? We're talking about dragons. I'm going to bite Ethel. Thirty-two. Miss. Woo! Fucking liar.

Why? Woo! Oh yeah! Fucking liar. Why? If I were a liar, would I have admitted to two natural ones at the same fucking time? You win this round. All right, I'm gonna bite you again, son of a bitch. Natural one. No! natural one you stupid bastard that was a melee fumble, right? Yep.

All right. Let's find something here. Oh, Jesus. I'm assuming Tom from St. Louis didn't make the trip down. Tom! Hi, Tom. This one's called, Come Back to St. Louis, You Cowards. Right?

I feel like we've had this one before. Cowards. Right? I feel like we've had this one before. We definitely haven't. It's brand new. You can tell by the flavor text. Your melee attacks receive a minus two circumstance penalty until the end of your next turn. Oh, wow.

Additionally, you should no longer schedule any other tour dates in Kansas City. It's a shithole. Fair. It's fair. It's fair. Well written, Tom. It's like poetry. Because St. Louis is the Rose of America. I have been to some Atlantic City casinos and that East St. Louis casino terrified me. All right. All right. It has one more action. It's frightened. It's off guard. It has this other nonsense. I'm going to bite you one more time. Only a nat 20 will hit, I assume. Maybe a natty 19 will hit. Let me do math.

Frightened, carry the 2, 3, 18, 16, plus, minus the 10. HONDO! 31! Miss. Yes! Woo! You would never be able to add that together. What I just did would stymie you for months. What I just did!

Don't worry, Sydney, he's just lashing out, he's mad. I'm mad. Do you want my tiny abacus? Do you have a tiny abacus? What? That helps a lot. I don't know how these work either. So I'm like, do you turn, like do you just push the beads?

Like do you, is it this way or is it this way? Either way, I don't think I'm doing it right Do you do you need this? No, I think you need that Ethel okay, let's go. I'm quickened. You're quickened. All right double slice Okay, that'll be a 42 on the Warhand. Oh! Quick! Yeah! And...

... ... ... I don't know what came over me. Tell my story. It's been a long weekend. And at 27 on the hatchet. Hit. Yes!

Alright, there's going to be some math happening now. Okay. Do you want my abacus? Oh no. It's over here if you need it. Oh no. I was ready to start pouring shots down my mouth. I was gonna come up and start playing the fiddle between your legs.

Yeah, same, I had the same idea! Next crit, next crit. 46 points of bludgeoning damage. 10 points of cold. I'm immune. And you fall prone. So stupid. Yes!

The giant, otherworldly monster falls. Yo, prone. I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the besters ever been. Okay, 19 points of slashing damage from the hatchet. Fuck. And then why don't we do a little fledge? A fledge? Oh, that's what she said! A fledge. Okay, so you become flat foot, or you become off guard until the beginning of my next turn,

so we'll extend that a little bit. And then you also take 1d8 persistent bleed damage per weapon damage dice, so that is 3d8 persistent bleed. Oh my god. And any resistances to any physical damage types are reduced by five. Wow! Arrrrgh! Wow! This is horrible!

Okay. And then I'm going to take one more swing with the Warhammer. Oh my god! Come on, dude. You guys have so many actions. Natural 20. Natural natural 20 28 to hit 15 points of bludgeoning and 3 points of cold. Alright, the cold does not go through.

Even with the reduction to the resistances? Yeah, it's immune to cold. Immune to cold! Bloodthirsty Creten. Is that it with hasted? Yes. Suki! Yep?

This thing is like laying on the ground, it's off guard, it's bleeding! What do you do? It's the most horrible thing you've ever seen! Kill me! Please kill me! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me! It's the magic of this creature that has never been prone in its life being like, what is happening to me?

Kill me! It's a well-known truism that you never want to see the undercarriage of a Lovecraftian monster. No! You see everything. Oh! All right. Yeah, she's going to put it out of its misery.

Yes! Finish this shit! She holds her hands out as these black tendrils just erupt. You need to make a reflex save. A reflex save. Now you're prone and off guard and all the things. Oh man, this is bad. 18.

Oh! That's got to be a critical fail. That has to be a critical fail. If that's not a critical fail, you're stupid. to be a critical fail that has to be a critical fail that's not a critical failure stupid critical fail So these Black viney thorny tendrils shoot out from both her hands They wrap around this creature's body and start to dig into its flesh as it pulls it apart with 60 points of piercing damage It's dead

My god. Do you have any other actions? Um, yeah, I tell Pepsi, and in Snake that's actually, don't worry, Mommy's got this. He's back. And Pepsi is going to... I command Pepsi, and Pepsi is going to bite... You don't know where the other one is.

I know. You're gonna bite Father Bubbles? No. First, can he make... since I commanded him, he gets two actions. Can he make a perception? Okay. Thank you. Wait, doesn't he have scent? Oh wait, fuck me, yes!

Oh shit. I'm curious, have nine of the retreat people been yelling this in the crowd all show and we just haven't heard it? I knew it, I knew it. These are odorless creatures. Yeah. When that thing was flailing around, I think I heard a toot. I think I heard a toot. I think I heard a toot. Alright, roll your stupid perception check with your dumb snake.

Wait, do I have to if it has imprecise? It can smell you? I guess you know where it is. It's still hidden to you. Okay. So it's DC-11 flat check. DC-11 flat check. Okay. 12.

Alright, so you move up. I'm gonna kill you now. Watch this. Yeah, I'm sure Pepsi will kill this creature that hasn't taken a point of damage. Yeah. Just wanna get expectations on the crest. I don't, I don't.

It's a 26. 26, even while off guard. Yeah. Not a hit. Okay, that's my turn, that's guard. Yeah. Not a hit. Okay. That's my turn. That's it. It is Atticus'

When I was walking in Memphis Atticus. Uh, he saw what happened to the first amateur, and it's almost even as if his mind is not even making the choice at the moment as the amulet around his neck... chk-chk-chk-chk-chk... begins to open, and a horrifying light emanates from it. He is going to use his... He's going to drain his bonded item

to cast Dispel Magic again on the other one. Yes! Whoo! Okay. So here we go with the same counteract check using the John Jamsky. That's a natural one. So I will spend a bottle cap.

Yeah, there we go. To reroll it, please dear God. We're going to get a bottle cap. You bring it from home? What's that? Did you bring a bottle cap from home? That's a digital bottle cap. Yeah, I bet it.

Stupid face. Hey, go Celtics, right? Yeah! All right, here we go. Hahaha. Stupid face. Hey, go Celtics, right? Yeah! Alright, here we go. Quick counteract. Check zone.

Natural 20! Oh my god! Dude, it was Logan! That was your shit, dude! Natural 20! Natural 20 on the Atticus die! That was your shit, dude! Natural 20! Natural 20 on the Atticus dive! Once and forever, the Atticus jawed!

You purged its invisibility Yes! All of you can see this thing now You done? First, is it an action to throw up? I know, it's free. No, that's free. These things that are all around him, do any of them have like these broken cages?

Do they have enough height that he could hide? Sure. As an action. So he's gonna hide. That is your role against their Perception DC, but my stealth bonus is 17. All right, you're a mile and a half away. Well, you know, dude, I wouldn't put it beyond you at all to be like, fuck this rat.

He made me invisible and then come to me. So he knows that he just attacked the creature. He is going to hide. OK, all right. We'll deal with that if we need to deal with it. It is Eris's turn. All right, now once again, I see the creature in front of me.

Yep. So she's going to move, let me get my little ruler out here. Can't really move that far, I guess I'll move up to Ethel. Be careful of the dense rubble. I'm gonna move around the dense rubble, I'm going to move around the dense rubble. There's not that much dense rubble around me. And then she's going to turn back around.

You know what's funny to say? Dense rubble. I know. That's why I said it. You know what's an even funnier thing to say as a player to your GM? Define dense. Where is it on the map? So she runs up to Ethel, terrified, turns around and casts Spirit Blast.

Please give me a basic Fortitude save. Basic Fortitude save. Yeah, basic. 39. Regular pass. Regular success. Okay. What happens to my?

You take half of 51 points of damage 25 25 Jesus that's amazing. That's pretty good, but 25 where I grew up And that's my turn all right You hit this thing with this. Now, at the beginning of the round, this guy moved and attacked Suki and Eriso. The one that you killed would have gone, but he's dead. Yeah. So it's Aldo's turn.

Nice! Okay. Uh, Aldo is... I've got another moderate lightning bomb. He's gonna toss it. Come on, man. Come on, you're due. 40 to fucking hit! Woo!

That is a critical hit. Yeah! That is... Oh no! Grrr! Oh no! Skate is doing math! It looks like everyone has trouble with math once in a while. That's 54 points of damage.

And it's flat-footed. Okay. We'll be in my next turn. Okay, second action. I'm going to throw another Dread Amp Fuel at it. Okay. My god. 38. 38. Uh oh.

Nice two. Not a... Shut up! Yeah! Quick, quick, quick! Ready? Eight. Not a crit. Fuck. Okay. That is 25 points of mental damage, and it is Frightened 1. OK.

OK. And I'm going to throw another moderate lightning just for the heck of it. Last attack. Get him. Minus 3 to its AC right now. OK. Come on.

Oh, shit. 30. 30? Oh. That's a hit. Yeah! Nice round Aldo! 30 more points of damage. Let's fucking go! Rubble falls from the ceiling. Now it sounds like you're making it up. I have to randomly choose from everyone in the room who gets attacked. I'm hiding.

Including Father Bubbles. One, including Father Bubbles. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Alright, so an eight will be the creature. Six will be Father Bubbles. Five will be Pepsi. Eight, I hit fucking creatures. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yes! Yes! Yeah, we're the kings! I failed my reflex save! I love seeing you play with yourself like this. Oh! Oh! Oh! Damn!

I had a dime. 15 points of damage. Wow. Boom! A block falls on its head. Like a fucking Keystone cop. It is. This is awesome.

Story boss is like, boom, boom, boom! Sha-boom! Round 19. This is awesome, story boss like boom, boom, boom, shaboom. Round 19. It's its turn. It's mad. So mad. Looks around the room for a rat. All right.

But god damn it, he passed his stealth. All right, this is gonna be... Big round for it. It just buggin'. Ooooooooh! Ooooooooh! Comes up here, it's going to hit Aldo. That incurs from me. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààààà Oh. Crack die. Crack die. Bat.

Okay, 34 to hit. Amazing. Okay, 19 points of bludgeoning and it's a unit of the cold, right? Yes. 19 points of bludgeoning. Still up! All right, it's time for some tentacle porn. First one is coming at Aldo.

Oh, I don't care for this. Aldo. 29 to him. I'm sorry, I've put me on an erroneous list. It's been a mistake. Somewhere down the line. 29 to hit! That is a hit.

Wait, wait, wait. Frightened. It's frightened. Oh yeah. Alright, so, frightened one, 28 to hit. Oh, that's a hit. This also, I believe, is the creature that suffers from minus two circumstance penalty to its attacks. No, that was the other one.

That was the other one? Yep. Alright, so from here you're gonna take 25 points of bludgeoning damage. Next one is at Ethel. Crack die. Natural 20! Nooooo! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! That's right! That's not the point of the song. That's not the point of the song. 52 points of bludgeoning damage! Wow! You down? Slowly I turn.

Step by step I crept up upon him. And then, at Eris. You can take four actions? I have this thing called Tentacle Flurry. Eris. This is going to be a 38 to hit. That's a crit. Yeah.

Oh! 56 points of dodging. Oh no. She's down. So like, it smacks you in the face, you turn to look at me, it smacks me in the face, and the light leaves my eyes. Oh no. We went too far. There's no safe word here. Dying too. Too? From that crit. Crit, shit. Things just got serious. It's Ethel's turn.

Holy shit. Shagun gun. Butts. Gugun, gugun, gugun. Holy shit. Shagagaga. Let's fuck. Go. Okay. That is a 37 on the war hammer. Hit. And a 31 on the hatchet.

Hit. Nice. Oh, he's going to flinch the shit out of you. So much power. So much power. So much power. Hit. Nice. Oh, he's gonna flinch the shit out of you. So much bleeding skin. 30 points of bludgeoning damage from the Warhammer. Okay.

19 points of slashing damage from the Hatchet. And it's dead. Yeah! We'll see you in New Apollos, everybody! That's it! That's the show! Thank you everybody! Thank you Retreat Mo! We will be back! It's time to make your membership official. Become an official member of the Naish today at JoinTheNaish.com.

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