The Golden Hour - A Burger Element to This | The Golden Hour #63 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: January 19, 2024The buys talk Brendan driving an electric Rivian, teaching their kids about controversial words, using coupons on the first date, Erik's striking resemblance to to Dizzy Gillespie, movies that won at... the Golden Globes and Emmys, a debate club on when to stop celebrating birthdays, old school martial arts video game and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app with code GOLDEN.
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We're friends that laugh.
We're friends that shout.
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about,
but that won't stop us.
Nothing can stop us. can stop us
just rebranded enough it's stronger better bigger power because it is the
no i'm getting my uh my other truck worked on right now putting a It's the cold new world
No, I'm getting my other truck worked on right now,
putting a supercharger on it.
So I had to drive a loaner car,
and they gave me a Rivian truck.
Uh-huh.
You like it.
It's weird.
I crave sucking cock right now.
It's so weird, dude.
I got an electric car,
and I want to suck you off right now.
Is that cool?
Yeah.
I get it man
Vivians are nice. Yeah, it's the big boy truck the performance truck. Well, they also got have you you know
You should get into is a
Hummer
No, like I've been that's the thing I'm her in the Rivian. Yeah. Yeah
We built this city
Rivian
That's a commercial
It's just
You know
That's the thing
Like I talk trash about electric
Like I've driven plaids
Driven the top Rivian
I've driven it all
I've driven all of them
But they have
They're so heavy
But they have
There's just no like
Character to them
You know what I'm saying
Yeah I agree
They look like they were made
On a factory line
Yeah
It's like driving an iPhone.
I agree, yeah.
The performance is dope.
I get why you like them.
And yours is really dope.
I just, I get it, and there's just no flavor.
Yeah, I get it.
It's like white people Thanksgiving.
Ain't no flavor in them electric cars.
Yeah, just a lot of cranberry sauce.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
How was your guys' weekend, man?
Good.
There's no flavor in electric cars.
And welcome to Golden Hour.
I'll be in Phoenix. I'll be in Phoenix coming up here soon. Brea, weekend, man? Good. There's no flavor in electric cars. And welcome to Golden Hour. I'll be in Phoenix.
I'll be in Phoenix coming up here soon.
Brea tonight, Phoenix on Saturday.
You're in Brea Thursday night?
Brea Thursday and Friday, yeah.
That'll be fun.
Just Thursday and Friday?
Yeah, come through if you want.
Yeah, because Saturday I'm going to Phoenix.
Oh, right, right.
Yeah.
I'm in Austin on Saturday.
And all new material.
All new material, by the way.
Of course you are.
Before we even get into Austin.
Well, I'm in Austin on Saturday.
Oh, you are doing it, yeah.
They're doing JRE Fight Campaign for UFC 297.
It's Joseph Rogan, Joey Diaz, Eddie Bravo, myself.
And I'm back in Austin the following week, Friday night, Saturday night,
at the Stepmothership, the Vulcan Gas Company.
And then Thursday night, I'm in Nashville.
Is his real name Joseph?
Yeah, dude.
Oh, that changes it. That's funny. I think I'm the only one thatany's one night only. Is his real name Joseph? Yeah, dude. Oh, that changes it.
That's funny.
I think I'm the only one that calls him Joseph, too.
He's in my phone as Joseph.
I know, but it's like it doesn't.
Well, Eric is one of those names that's just Eric.
Yeah, it's just Eric.
Yeah, but Joseph, you know.
That doesn't sound like a tough guy.
You can call somebody Joseph.
But Joe.
Right.
Joe's tough.
What about Joe?
Is Joey tough?
No.
No.
I mean, it is if you're Italian
Joey for time
Joey
It's Joe
But you need to say it with an accent
Your full Christopher
My full name is
Christopolis
Christopolis
I'm Greek
No
It's Christopher
Christopher
Your mother called you Christopher
Chrissy
Yeah
Not too much though
Even when I was in trouble, she would just...
No, she would say, yeah.
That's so weird.
Christopher!
It's a hack joke at this point,
but it's so weird that you say the full name
when someone gets it.
You're doing new material, so...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, even...
You should find out elsewhere.
Even Kristen, it will be...
So strange.
Isn't it weird how...
It felt like a joke, right?
Isn't it weird how when you get in trouble, you
call my full name?
I'm writing it down.
But
no, yeah, even
Kristen will be like, she'll say Cal
or Calvi, but when he's in
trouble, he's four, but like
it'd be like Calvin Matthew.
You know, that's his, she just starts adding names.
Calvin Matthew Christ You know, that's his. Calvin. She just starts adding names. Yeah. Calvin Matthew.
Yeah.
Christopoulos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Joseph.
Timothy.
When me and my girl are in a fight, if it's serious, I'll call her Joe.
Instead of?
I call her Boo.
Oh, got it.
Only Boo.
Boo or Pookie.
Yeah, I'll say Kristen, yeah.
Yeah.
Boo.
What's up, Boo?
Now I just have a vision.
You're my little Boo thing.
Hey, Boo.
Yeah.
Only say Boo.
That's it.
Yeah. But then when we're arguing, I'll be like, Joe.
I ask girls to call me boo-boo.
Boo-boo-boo.
You don't have no nickname with your girl?
No, Gabe.
Actually, this is –
Babe!
Yeah, I say babe.
Oh, man.
Dude, this was the first time –
Kids, they're learning things,
and they don't understand everything all the time.
So one time Calvin said to me when I was leaving, learning things and and they don't understand everything all the time and like but so i would
i one time calvin said to me when i was leaving babe he didn't understand that yeah my kids would
call me boo so funny he didn't understand wait till you deal with stuff like that it's the
funniest thing ever dude i got one for you i got one for you so tigers listen to rap music you know
he does this thing casey saw
yeah yeah malibu's most wanted i was just listening to push a t with my son yeah yeah whatever they'll
figure it out but he goes dad uh what's and said the n-word what's the n-word because it's all in
all the rap songs yeah what's the n-word mean i was like oh okay so we had to dive into it we had
to dive into it i I was like, wow.
You were like, you only say this in your car with the windows up and no one's around.
It's weird because when you think about it from a kid's perspective,
they don't know the history of the slavery and all that.
They just know this guy that they look up to says it all the time nonstop.
And should they know that? So it takes away the power.
And it's like, should they know that?
That's why I told him I said he is a high school football player. And should they know that? So it takes away the power. And it's like, should they know that? That's why I told him, I said, he is a high school football player.
You know what I mean?
He's a high school football player in Indianapolis, Indiana.
Oh, my.
And if you say I, it's a whole sentence.
Wow.
Eric, do you want to take that one?
By the way, this guy's white?
Everybody did it in their head.
Everybody just did it in their head right now,
and everyone's laughing right now.
Oh, man.
But they had a whole thing, right?
The family were like, this is how you say it.
Oh, did they?
How do they say it?
Do you know the quarterback? I didn't see it, but they had a whole thing about it.
No, no.
What's a homeboy interview?
Is it RG3 or something?
RG3 interviewed him.
The whole family's on Zoom, and they're talking about the name.
But it's actually not how you think it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank God.
I still stay away from it.
Yeah, but that's not how you think it is.
But any of your friends that see that, that's what it is.
Oh, God.
Do you know what I mean?
That's one of those things.
In class, the teacher.
Noah.
Kenija.
It's actually really close to it.
Is it?
No, that's too close.
Yeah, right.
Black people are, yeah, right.
Kenija, my ass. But it would be like It would be like The nod to my ass
But it would be like
You know
Like a knight
You know what I mean
I'll tell you
If you were gonna
You know what I mean
Yeah yeah
How about this
Just change it
Yeah
Yeah just make it knight
K-N-I-G-H-T
Hey check this out
Check this out
Is this a white family
Yeah yeah They're so white They know what's going on Right right right You know what I'm saying Hey, check this out. Check this out. Is this a white family?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're so white.
They know what's going on. Right, right, right, right.
You know what I'm saying?
But you don't even pick your last name.
I know, I know.
But if you're like in this day and age, you've grown up.
Right, right, right.
At a certain point, it'd be like if your parents wanted to call you something dumb.
And you're like, you get older, you're like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Change it.
Right, right, right.
This could be my kid.
Yeah, why would I?
Change the spelling. Do something.
It's like they know
what the hell's going on.
I'm naming my next kid
Derek Chauvin.
Derek Chauvin D'Elia.
Yeah, Derek Chauvin D'Elia.
I think by then it'll be
okay. Yeah, people forget.
Has anyone
named their baby in the last 30 years Hitler?
No, well, Adolf, you mean.
Yeah, even Adolf is.
Adolf's tough, too.
I mean, Hitler.
Hitler's intense.
Adolf, yeah, Adolf, Jesus.
Yeah.
Oh, it's just like I knew.
I used to work at a school, and we had a kid named Fidel Castro.
Come on.
I'm not kidding.
The kid's name was Fidel Castro.
So I'm looking at the thing
and you just go
you see it
you go
okay
Fidel
he's in the corner
smoking
he's already running things
fossil kids around
go get him stuff
go get me some milk
no but it's like
but that's an example
of like
this is obviously
a family
that supported Fidel Castro
well unless it was early enough to where –
No, no, no.
I know, I know, I know.
But I'm just saying like –
The last 50 years.
I know, I know.
But I'm just saying like the pitcher, Will Smith.
Like when he was young, Will Smith was probably not that famous.
So like it can happen that way is what I'm saying.
Yeah, it's like Tiger.
Once they get him after Tiger Woods or they'll be like, oh, because Tiger, they'll be like, what's your name?
He's like, Tiger.
Like, oh, after Tiger Woods, he's like, who the hell is Tiger Woods?
Right, right, right.
He has no clue.
He's like, who?
I'm just saying like.
But that's, but that is like.
That's a little different, but.
But this one, that one's only different because that's the most famous Tiger ever.
But when you told me you're the one that bit.
The one that bit.
Yeah.
The sick figure.
Right, right, right. That's the second famous Tiger, you know, but your kid. any other Tigers. The guy's the one that bit the big boy.
That's the second famous Tiger.
But your kid with the baseball might be the takeover.
When I found out your kid's name was Tiger, I did not think of Tiger Woods.
Me neither.
I didn't at all until someone brought it up.
I was like, oh, yeah.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
It even cracks because I'm not like a big golf fan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm not a golf fan.
Golf or why?
Why, yeah.
No, you're right.
Well, what's wider than golf?
What's wider than golf? Escape rooms. That was the white. White, yeah. No, you're right. Well, what's whiter than golf? What's whiter than golf?
Escape rooms.
That was the answer I was looking for.
Tiger Woods is about as white as Nick, though.
I mean, proper.
Tiger Woods is pretty white.
I don't think Nick is.
I think if you had like white, white, Nick's not there.
No, he's not.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Nick's the N-word of the white people around him.
You know what I mean?
You call him white trash?
That's the N-word of white people.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but.
There's different levels.
He's the blue bin of the trash, though.
You know what I'm saying, Nick?
I'm not giving you like.
He's not like.
Like he loves.
He really does.
He loves.
Behind the scenes, he loves Larry the Cable Guy.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, yeah.
No, but I'm saying Tiger, like, that's, but it's like, here's the crazy part.
If you think about, like, you ever think about what your parents were doing, like, because you're 40s.
You know, I'm 51, right?
I'm thinking, like, what was my, like, what were they doing, you know, 50 years ago?
You get what I'm saying?
Pumping.
I'm just saying, like, you think about what you're doing now, right?
In, like, so Calvin's aware of things, but he's not really going to be, like, having thoughts like,
huh, what was going on when you were 30, Dad?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Think of all that.
So the world is so different.
So, yeah, so Tiger Woods will be – like in 20 years,
will we even know who the hell that is?
Oh, yeah, no, I know.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, no, it'll be fun.
But he might look back and be like, oh, did you name me after this guy?
Yeah.
What the hell is that?
Oh, you're African.
You can use the N-word.
That's right.
Dude, he's 1% Southern East African.
Oh, dude, you're Senegambian?
Huh?
I wouldn't have thought you were Senegambian.
I see it.
I know it.
I knew there was something about it.
You know what?
Okay, that makes sense.
You're Senegambian.
Yeah, okay.
Wow.
The Congo is really where that's home. You feel itegambian. Yeah, okay. I really... Wow. The Congo is really where...
That's home.
You feel...
You got the nose.
No doubt.
Actually is like that.
That thinks it counts?
No, that you know that.
What?
If you were that person that was like,
oh, you're Senegambian?
Oh, boy.
You're just like...
Just the biggest nerd ever.
Or Sherlock Holmes with grace.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's something Brian would do.
Your father was Senegambian.
Brian would be like, you're Senegambian? I got a friend. I got a buddy with Grace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's something Brian would do. Your father was a Santa Claus. Brian would be like,
you're Santa Claus?
I got a friend.
I got a buddy, Billy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Well, that's,
yeah.
I am,
I don't know.
I never did one of those.
My,
have you done the 23andMe
or whatever?
Yeah.
I don't even want to know.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm going to find out
all kinds of stuff
and be like,
I don't know.
I want to know for you.
Yeah, I know.
Everybody wants to know.
Yeah, yeah. I like to track down your dad.
I like to do all this.
I think people want to know so they can know how to hate you.
Hmm.
Hmm.
The government, I think there's been stories where-
Oh, he's about to vibe out.
The government gets a hold of it and they use it to solve crimes.
That's how they got BTK killed.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No, that's how they got the...
BTK.
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
They got the golden killer.
Nick, you need a thing that says vibin'.
No, he's right.
They use it when they use your fingerprints
to solve old crimes with DNA that they didn't have before.
I wouldn't have done it.
My sister did it, but theoretically.
The gold coast.
My sister did it.
She's locked up now.
When you were growing up, did you ever use the N-word?
Yeah, all the time.
Really?
Yeah.
I bet that was fun.
Since school.
Hey.
All my friends were black.
Not me.
I grew up in a black neighborhood.
But now do you use it?
Not really.
Did you see another black guy use it?
My friends.
Man.
You never use it around me, man.
You don't feel comfortable with me or what?
I've never heard you say it.
Even when we're in the car and there's rap music on, you go.
I don't even listen to rap music.
It would feel weird if Eric did it.
Kevin, do you use the N-word?
Sometimes.
You see what I'm saying?
I bet it's fun.
It's just sometimes.
Yeah, it's a filler.
It is overrated.
That's because you can say it.
No offense to you guys, but it's conversations like this is why I don't.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's why I just kind of go like, ah, whatever.
White people don't have a word like that, though.
No.
Yeah.
We don't have anything cool like that.
Yeah, because white people having a word like that would be like, you know.
Bro.
It's like if you're the zookeeper running the zoo and the animals are saying things
bad about you, it's like, what is it bad about?
Well, that's where the term cracker comes from.
They used to crack the wood.
They've tried so many words.
No, I can't bump you with that.
Cracker, peckerwood.
Peckerwood's one because it was like woodpecker and they didn't want to be called woodpecker, so they switched it around because rednecks.
Yeah, that doesn't hurt my feelings.
It doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. Some people have issues with rednecks. That doesn that doesn't hurt my feelings. It doesn't hurt anyone's feelings.
Some people have issues with rednecks.
That doesn't bother me.
Well, yeah, maybe a few.
Because of what it implies.
It's like when you call somebody white trash.
I get it.
You call somebody white trash, it gets to them
because it has nothing to do with their skin color
or anything like that.
It's about economics.
They think, no, I wasn't poor.
My family didn't, you know, it's that kind of thing.
So we all relate to things in a different way.
Yeah, there's really no bad word for white people.
Except for the
worst thing is when you get called a racist.
For white people, that's the worst.
What the fuck? That's the only thing
that triggers white people.
What about, have you, speaking of this
and speaking of it since I brought up the name,
did you guys see that documentary, The Fall of Minneapolis?
You haven't seen it?
No.
The Fall of Minneapolis?
That sounds terrible.
Have you seen it?
Do you guys even know what it is?
I don't, but I lived in Minneapolis for eight years.
You don't know what it is?
I love how Chris's mic is like a dick getting hard all the time.
You guys haven't seen it?
all the time and he starts... You guys haven't seen it?
Some...
Some...
It was like a crowdfunded...
Some company made it and it's about
George Floyd
and Derek Chauvin.
Oh, check please.
To say the real story?
I'm shocked you didn't see it.
I can't. Does it give the real story?
It's saying it gives the real story. Alright, shocked you didn't see it. I can't. Does it give the real story? It's saying it gives the real story.
All right.
It's a very vibing situation.
Sounds like it's going based on facts.
Bro, it's crazy.
It's crazy.
I want to check it out.
I'm glad you got into it.
I'm vibing a little bit.
No, but it's just like.
It's also facts, though.
That stuff's tricky That's scary
That whole thing's tricky
Yeah
Let's just watch the whole thing
What's on the news?
I mean, they're talking about the toxicology report
And all that kind of stuff
Yeah
But here's my thing, though
Regardless of all that
The guy still had his knee on his neck
But he wouldn't have died if he wasn't on those drugs No, no, no, but that's my thing, though. Regardless of all that, the guy still had his knee on his neck. But he wouldn't have died if he wasn't on those drugs.
No, but that's not.
No.
You know they use that technique today.
This is the fucked up thing about that.
It's a technique that they're not only allowed to use, they're supposed to use.
All the time.
They're supposed to use it.
They use it right now.
It's in the book, the manual.
And they wouldn't allow that manual to be in the trial.
That's one of the things in the documentary that you're like, holy shit.
They were definitely overuse of aggression.
But yeah, that whole thing is gnarly.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
I can't get enough of Gypsy Rose.
And I think we can book her on the podcast.
Dude, I don't know much about that situation.
I know what happened, but I don't.
She's doing podcasts now.
I haven't looked into it.
We've been trying to get a hold of her for Deos.
Through every channel, I don't understand.
She is doing some nothing podcast.
Her people DM me.
Really?
What's up, Theo?
Probably she is a huge fan of Brian Callen maybe.
Because I'm sure he doesn't.
Dude, he's the worst at promoting.
Dude, Brian Callen is the worst at promoting ever.
And then he'll call me and get mad.
Should we just put his dates out now?
Brian's going to be mad.
I was in the other room and Kristen was, Chris was in the other room.
And I hear hear hey, Brian
Callen's website sucks.
I was like, what are you
talking about? She's like, I'm trying to figure out like where he is
in certain areas and like there's three
dates on it. It's a nightmare. How about
he comes here the other day? I'm shooting. The only website that
sucks more is airgrapher.com.
Brian's in
Phoenix this weekend missing the fight companion.
He's in Phoenix at the improv.
But look at this.
Look at this.
So look at what's highlighted on the upper left.
Just improv.
If you're in Phoenix and you don't even see Phoenix, you scroll through it.
He doesn't say it.
You could miss it.
Yeah.
Look at Bricktown County Club.
Where is that?
Tulsa up in the little letters. Tiny, yeah same font Brian this is right he came the other day he's
like oh man I could do this this he's all stressed out he's so busy he had
this guest coming on he's like where is this guy man got packed a calls guy guy
goes dude it's next week Brian goes oh that's right he had his producer drive
like 40 minutes here Brian's like my bad it's next week my, oh, that's right. He had his producer drive like 40 minutes here.
Brian's like, my bad.
It's next week.
God, that's Brian in a nutshell.
You're a wild boy.
This is Brian in a nutshell.
No.
Oh, in a nutshell.
All right, let's see what we got here, huh?
Long hair don't care.
Ooh, this just out of the shower, I hope. Yeah, dry it off, bro.
Come on.
Yeah, great.
Hey, boys.
Thank you for having me.
I have a debate club. Using a coupon on the, bro. Come on. Hey, boys. Thank you for having me. I have a debate club.
Using a coupon on the first date.
Is it weird and cheap or is it smart and frugal?
Thank you.
Thank you.
He definitely uses coupons.
I mean, dude.
He's like, this guy's like in day two of transitioning.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
The voice is just kicking in.
I wonder if he got a coupon for that.
I would not.
I think that that's a wild move.
What do you do if you're on a budget, though?
I get it.
You don't do it like this.
You're not like, oh, check.
Okay, I got this good-ass coupon.
Two for one, girl. No, you would just're like, oh, check. Okay, I got this good-ass coupon. I don't know. Two for one, girl.
No, you would just be like.
Maybe, though.
You would be like, you would tell the guy, maybe you go to the bathroom.
I guess.
We get a free blossom, girl.
What's up?
Oh, yeah.
That makes it worse, though.
If you're just like, yo, I got a coupon.
I'm using it because, like, I can get $30 off this meal,
and I don't give a shit if you don't care.
No, no.
He said you go to the bathroom. I know, but say it to the lady that you're with. No, no, no. I'm meal, and I don't give a shit if you don't care. No, no. He said you go to the bathroom.
I know, but say it to the lady that you're with.
No, no, no.
I'm just saying.
I don't know.
I don't know, yeah.
Do you book everything?
Hold on.
He goes, if they want more details, I took her to my favorite Italian restaurant.
It's kind of expensive.
I told her about the coupon beforehand so that she wouldn't be thrown off.
We actually ended up going the day after it expired, signed up, not even using it.
Also got my dick sucked.
No, no, no.
Unrelated, I think that was our last date.
It's funny.
I mean, dude, I know.
Wait, can I?
Yeah.
Okay, so if you're saying use the coupon, fine.
Right.
So you're the girl.
Right.
The guy's like using a coupon.
You'd be like, okay, cool.
Oh, that's smart and frugal.
You don't – the girl's not seeing him again not because of the coupon.
No.
But because he didn't read it.
It was the last day.
That is –
Like he's not responsible.
I can't be with somebody.
Yeah, because he's like –
We're going to be using the coupon.
He was like, you know, girl, I got this coupon.
Then it comes.
He's like, oh, shit.
That's way worse. That's way worse. She's like, oh, eat up, girl. I got this coupon. Then it comes. He's like, oh, shit. That's way worse.
That's way worse.
She's like, oh, fuck this, dude.
No, even worse is when the guy comes back and the waiter comes back.
Missed by one day.
Yeah, this coupon's expired.
Then you're just kind of like this.
You know, you're like, aha.
I'm feeling bad.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's embarrassing.
I don't like that at all.
Before you had money, you never had any issues?
I remember I took this girl.
I was trying to go on a date with forever,
went to a cheesecake factory, and I had $24.
That was it, man.
What?
$24.
What do you get at Cheesecake Factory?
Have you been to the Cheesecake Factory before?
Dude, she wanted to go.
I was like, you got to go whenever you want.
She was so fine back then.
So then what?
Oh, she ordered a straight meal.
Well, that's what I'm saying, yeah.
Oh, dude, I was like, I don't feel good.
I don't feel great.
She's like, well, I'm like, you eat.
And I just ate the breadsticks.
That's cute.
Yeah, but you still didn't have enough.
No, she got, you know, she was a girl.
I knew she wasn't going to order like a T-bone steak.
She got some like soup and a salad.
I was straight.
This is Brendan in that restaurant, you know.
Sweat.
He opens up the menu, and then then he just sees the prices for things.
That must have been like, that's the moment, right?
I was like, oh, I'm so screwed.
So wait, also she was cool with you just not eating?
Because usually women are like.
She didn't say anything.
I mean, we didn't go on another date, so that probably messed things up.
Oh, she knew.
She was telling her friends.
She knew it was up.
But then they also sold cane corsos.
They had high end.
And she was like, yo.
And she was like, show me pictures of her dogs.
And she's like, do you want one?
I'm like, fuck yeah, I'll take one.
How much are they?
They're like three grand.
I'm like, that's nothing, girl.
Yeah, we never want another date.
Well, there's still time.
Who knows?
Everyone could.
I mean, I don't care about...
I guess I don't care about... Now, we go to a restaurant, you just kind of like...
But if a girl...
And then the check comes and you're like, what did I order?
Yeah, I know, dude.
I'll still be like that, but I'm not looking ahead of time.
I did that with Postmates the other day
and I was like, what?
Yeah, I did that too.
I'm like, what did I order?
But if you're on a date with a girl and she's like in the bill came she's like you know i actually got a coupon
i'm like oh that's dope i wouldn't even think anything of it i'd be like oh that's dope she's
like let me save you some money i wouldn't be like oh she's cheap i'd be like oh that's dope
it would be so weird though if she knows your situation and she's like, hey. No, no, no.
That's not weird.
That's actually, that's a girl you marry.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm saying, you guys now, I'm saying.
Like, if she knows you have money, she's like, here's a coupon.
I'd make fun of her.
I'd make fun of her and appreciate it.
Yeah, you'd appreciate it, of course.
I'd make fun of her, for sure.
She buys eight Christmas trees.
Yeah.
So you would never be in that situation.
She's, you go to the Christmas store and you're like,
oh, here's a tree we want.
And she's like, yeah, and there's six other ones.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, that kind of stuff is like, you know,
so it's like, it's same with Rachel.
We went to like Air One last night.
Air One to get you.
And we went to Air One and like, I'm waiting for her.
So I had to stand in this long food line to get the food for us
And she's getting some stuff for like
Her
Postpartum stuff that she gets
So when she comes with the thing
She's got a big piece of
Aloe vera like a whole
Aloe vera like I said are you
What are you
Craft are you a witch all of a sudden
You know all these things Moss and all this kind of stuff I said, are you craft? Are you a witch all of a sudden?
All these things, moss and all this kind of stuff.
The lady behind the thing is like, that is two fingers.
Put your hand here.
Basically.
And I look at her.
I see how much this was.
And I look at her and go, what is this?
That's hilarious.
She's like, how else are we going to spend $600?
You're like, no, this is not how you're supposed to think about this.
All right, kids.
UFC 297 is bringing a stacked fight card.
Stacked is a loose term.
They're bringing a decent fight card.
Great main event to Toronto.
All right.
The six.
I like to call it the six.
Okay.
Yep. The six.
Running through the six.
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That's right.
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Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 plus age varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus What's this, Nick?
Someone sent in a What's More Cringe Eric Adams edition, the mayor of New York.
Oh, he's the worst.
When you send these in, please send a video introducing it.
It's better when you do it than I do it.
Oh, got it.
Okay.
Which one between these two videos is more cringe?
This is from old when he was from a senator,
but he teaches parents how to find contraband in his kid's room.
Oh, wow.
You can look in a jewelry box.
A jewelry box of this nature.
Maybe a simple jewelry box,
but if you look through it closely, you don't know what your child may be hiding.
For instance, a gun.
Look at picture frames behind cameras.
Try to determine what's taking place.
What kid's room is that?
Behind a picture frame, you can find bullets.
You should always, when your child brings in his popular knapsack with many different locations, look through it to see what exactly is your child carrying in addition to a book.
He's just winging this.
Something simple as a crack pipe.
Something simple as a baby doll.
Could be just a baby doll, but also it could be a place where you could secrete or hide drugs.
Run your hands over the pillows.
The music.
Is this satire?
No, this is real.
Is this a comedy sketch?
I've felt something bumpy.
I will reach in, see what it is.
The cuts are great.
22 Magnum?
More than just books.
Perfect place to hide cocaine.
You can look in the jewelry box.
I mean.
First of all.
That's the funniest video I've seen on the internet.
This is awesome because how did they set all that up?
Like imagine being the people like setting up the video shoot.
Yeah.
And the guy comes in with a box of like cocaine, six guns, bullets, a used crack pipe.
How did they do this?
He's like, look at this jewelry box.
Crack cocaine.
First of all, I don't think a person that has all that, the room would be that organized.
I'm saying, what kid's room is like that?
That looks like a library.
Dude, imagine having all that shit in that room.
Dude, just like, is your kid Pablo Escobar?
You have your friends come over.
As adults, you have your friends come over, and your kid is in, you're just in the, you're
sweating.
You're like, I hope they don't move the pillow, dude.
Fuck, man.
I left my Glock in there.
Yeah.
Your buddy is like, is this crack?
Is this a crack pipe?
You wouldn't even find everything.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Like the kid – because if you're in your kid's room and you find just one of those things.
Oh, it's old.
You're already flipping out like, what?
And then your kid is looking at you like, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hope you don't look under the tickle me elbow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hope you don't check my pillow.
I got an AK-47 hidden under there.
Let me see the other one.
That one's going to be tough to beat.
Yeah, but that's not cringe, though.
It's not cringe.
It's just hilarious.
And he's so bad on camera.
What's this?
So bad.
Crack.
What was a very eventful 2023, right?
So when you look at the totality of the year, you have to describe it.
And it's tough to do in one word.
What would that word be?
And tell me why.
New York.
This is a place where every day you wake up, you could experience everything from a plane crashing into our train center.
To a person who's celebrating
a new business that's open. This is a very, very complicated city. And that's why this
is the greatest city on the globe.
He's the worst. My favorite is when he first got into office, he spent no time working
on the city. He was just seen in the club with french montana like
every single night you're telling me that just partying in his mind non-stop those two things
are on the same page like you opening up a starbucks in in in midtown yeah yeah yeah and
and a plane crashing into the trade center he said you know like a global event. He's like, or you opening up a new business.
He's like, that's the thing about New York.
One day a plane's flying into the buildings.
The next you open up a Starbucks.
That's what makes New York great.
On one hand, you have an atom bomb go off, destroy the whole city,
and everyone dies.
Not only that, but there's a radius blast that will kill people for years
and give them cancer and pretty much extinct the universe.
Or you could open up a Chipotle on 3rd of Madison.
This guy's crazy.
This guy's crazy.
Both these things are crazy.
He does this for a living.
Because even this how-to video, who's watching that video?
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, is that?
Not my parents.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
If you're a parent that has to, like, you know,
what inspired this is, like, you know, what inspired this?
It's like, you know, was a mother like, oh, yeah, I found a crack pipe.
And then I found a gun.
Yeah, or it's like, my kid got arrested.
What do you do?
Well.
But also, if you're a parent.
He made a how-to video to find.
But also, if you're a parent and you're watching, you're like, oh, okay.
That's how you do it.
All these parents are like, after they watch this, they know you're watching, you're like, oh, okay, that's how you do it. After they watch this, they feel they're watching
and they hit the pause on their VCR
because you know this isn't like,
they're like, click, and they look at their kid's room like,
I gotta get in here and check. I thought his
pillow seemed lumpy.
My child has a popular knapsack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Knapsack,
dude. And there's a bunch of storage units.
You mean pockets, you silly bitch?
This is a bonus Mayor of New York video.
Oh, I know this one.
Yeah.
Oh, he was the worst.
Yeah, so, so great.
Guy deserves to get punched right in the face.
I don't mean that.
This also seems like a sketch.
It's a joke.
It's a joke.
No, I don't think any violence should happen.
He's a piece of shit.
No, come on.
They were offering free burgers and fries to get people vaccinated.
I know, I know, I know.
Let me see.
When you get vaccinated, I got vaccinated.
You're saying I could get this, a delicious fry?
Oh, my God.
Wait a minute.
But there's also a burger element to this?
Let me check with Bill Meadhart.
Is it too early in the day to eat a burger?
A burger element?
Okay.
I want you to look at this and think about, again,
some people love hamburgers, some don't.
I really want to respect all of you.
Oh, my God.
If this is appealing to you, just think of this when you think of vaccination.
Mmm.
Vaccination.
That's the worst thing I've ever seen.
I'm getting a very good feeling.
This is first team all cringe.
About vaccination rate this moment.
Has this guy been a person for more than a year?
Like, what is...
This is...
And I can't even tell if he's, like, pro-vaccine or not.
I know.
I know.
Hold on.
There's a burger element here?
That's crazy.
Burger and fries, you silly bitch.
To me, it's like he... This is very Aaron Rodgers-y, you know? Right. You know what I mean? There's a burger element here? That's crazy. Burger and fries, you silly bitch. To me, this is very Aaron Rodgers-y.
Right.
There's a burger element here.
I've been immunized.
Oh, is that a burger?
You know what I mean?
I don't know if he was pro or against.
Burger element.
Is that a new wallet over there?
Yeah, he got it for Christmas.
Got it for Christmas.
You don't check the group chat, bro.
I do. I sent the picture of this for my fucking gift. christmas you don't check the group chat bro i do i sent the picture of this for my fucking this is my gift dude you don't check the group
i sent it on christmas i said look what krista got me that's nice is it a bottega veneta he knows
what's up dude she's teaching you well bro what do you think i got that i know i know i know i know
but i've been excuse me i've been on a botottega Veneta. Oh, yeah. Oh, wee.
Oh, wee.
Yeah, Ben had that.
That's nice, bro.
That one's really nice. This is actually, I got to tell you, this is actually really great quality.
It's great.
It's leather.
Rachel got the bag, everybody.
She got the bag.
Yeah, we know.
We know, dude.
That's awesome.
Bro, that was so funny, that picture you sent.
Yeah, dude.
That's great. I love that. Yeah. And that's their thing. For some reason, their thing is about the square. Yeah, dude. I'm... That's great.
I love that.
Yeah.
And that's their thing.
For some reason, their thing is about the square.
Yeah, right, right, right, right.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
What kind do you have?
I don't fucking know, dude.
He just pulls out a plastic bag.
Wait, was that robbed?
Yeah.
Oh, Louis Vuitton's good.
Damn, dude. I wanted you to have a Jams wallet. Remember those? Yeah, yeah.itton's good. Damn, dude.
I wanted you to have a Jams wallet.
Remember those?
Yeah, yeah.
Pull that up.
That'll take me back.
Jams wallet.
Wow, I pulled that from...
Is it Jams or Jans?
No, Jans.
Are you saying Pan or Pan?
No, I'm not saying either of those.
Pan or Pan?
Jams wallet.
Jams.
Dude, wow.
That brought me back.
The one right there, the third one up on the top.
Oh, I had that Toon Squad one.
That one right there.
Wow, bro.
I got to get one.
Original Jams.
That's what I...
$125?
Because...
Because...
See?
See?
And you know what?
By the way, that is the proper response about something like that.
Well, your wallet's more than that one.
I know, but I didn't get this.
Right, right, right.
It's a gift.
I would never spend that on a wallet.
That's what I'm trying to say.
Someone, you know, oh, my God.
So, wait.
So, when you have, you know, when your wallet costs more than how much you got inside of it.
That's a good joke, right?
You can see all of Chris's new material at Brea this weekend.
This cost more than I got in it, man.
Brea.
That's $125 for a used wallet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, they don't make them new anymore.
Well, I mean, to have it new from the 80s.
Can you get them new?
You also have to put a new,
you have to put that
original Jams patch on there.
Yes.
I'm sure that wasn't
on the original wallet.
I'll tell you what,
I'd like a nice trapper keeper
in my cell.
Yeah, that was the same days.
Yeah, a trapper keeper,
a little Jamsport backpack.
Damn, dude,
I remember I had a red Jams wallet.
I haven't thought of Jams wallet
since I was a kid
and I brought it out.
What'd you have in it?
When you're a kid, you don't have a license.
Change.
Dude, I had coins.
Oh, I used to love the change.
The zipper.
Dude, I used to have a wallet.
It was heavier than a motherfucker's.
I would buy this leather wallet from this kiosk at the mall.
Oh, wow.
And the guy knew me.
Think about him doing it, dude.
He would see me and be like, hey, bro, I have a new, you know, and I'd be like, let me see.
And it would be like a change thing.
I would love that.
Yeah.
Click. You know what I mean love that. Yep. Click.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You got those quarters in there?
Get the quarter.
But now I think about it now, and it's just like, I don't know when the last time I've
even had change.
Yeah.
Are there new coins even?
I don't know.
I don't even.
Even when you go to a meter, you just put your credit card down.
You're just like, no, no, no.
Why would you have change?
And you got to be careful about that now, too, because they've got all these, like,
have you seen those videos about, like, the ATM machine where the whole thing is fake
and it pulls off the real thing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
At the gas station, too, another one where they're the card readers and all this kind
of stuff?
This shit is crazy.
Bro, I'm just like, it's like.
Even these QR codes are crazy now.
I know.
You have to be careful of those.
Dude, I almost got hustled the other day because you know how when you're waiting for UPS,
they always send you a text.
I get a text like, I was waiting on a package.
It goes, your package is going to be delayed.
Check tracking here.
So I click on it.
It takes you to the UPS page.
Yeah.
You got to look at the.
It's UPS slash dot com.
You got to always look at the website.
But then it was like, you had my exact address.
And at the bottom, this is what I was like, hold up.
It goes, insert credit card and social security number here.
I'm like, social security?
I was like, oh, hell no.
And you want to make your penis bigger from Nigeria.
Check this out.
This is crazy.
Comes with a Jams wallet.
Damn, they got my chin.
I apply my chin every morning.
Oh, and guys, I got one of those phone calls where the person's like, it sounds like a robot.
And it's like, can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Because you're supposed to say yes.
Yeah.
Then they record your yes and they use it.
Oh, wow.
As like you said yes to whatever.
So you got to start anytime.
Listen, don't answer anything.
Whoa.
It's crazy.
It's the whole new scam.
They would have got me.
Yeah.
They would have got me.
Yeah.
They would have used that for the confirmation.
Yeah.
You signed up for this subscription.
Yeah.
That's obviously not what I was saying yeah to.
So you got to be careful with all these things, man.
When you go to like, you're getting gas or anything like that.
All sorts of scams.
Yeah, they have like, you have to check.
I saw the video.
The guy was like at the thing and he was like, look at this.
Cool, take it all.
This is fake.
They take, they'll have a real ATM and they have a whole, they copy it, put their fake
ATM over the real.
No one sees these schmucks setting this up.
Yeah, that's crazy, bro.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's crazy.
So it's like, you know.
There's a lot of white guys doing that.
And no place takes cash anymore.
I know.
Never.
Especially since COVID.
Well, no, not no place.
What the hell is that?
Is that Eric in the wild?
Oh.
Go ahead, play it.
Scientific lines we have today.
Oh, wow.
Holy shit.
I've seen that picture before and, of course, a lot of Eric, yeah.
I had people hitting me up being like, yeah, we do uh i like uh it's good a movie about
you should play that you know what i mean that's good that sounds good that'd be cool
yeah i know yeah really cool not i wouldn't want to see a movie like that
if i'm honest have you guys seen the movie poor things no not yet no it sounds poor
no no you gotta watch i heard it's great. Emma Stone. She just won the Golden Globe.
I just want to tell you something about the movie.
Okay.
Emma Stone gets fucked in this movie.
I'll watch it.
Play the DJ Gillespie music.
She is...
Which one's Emma Stone?
She is so good.
No, but I've never seen anything...
No, the thing is, I've seen a lot of her movies,
and she doesn't normally do this type of stuff.
Yeah.
But it's like, I'm talking about...
You mean fucked over or like sex?
No, no, no.
Smash, bro.
I'm talking about...
And it's like...
And I'm talking about it's like very gratuitous.
It's like pornographic.
Wow.
He busts on her face and stuff?
No, they don't do a bukkake.
What are we talking about? Oh, dear. I'll watch that. And cut. Let's like pornographic. He busts on her face and stuff? They don't do a bukkake. What are we talking about?
Let's get her a towel.
Look at the music.
She is
attractive.
She's super attractive.
She is an older man now.
You see him?
And the people in the movie
that are doing it,
because of how weird the movie is.
Yeah, we see.
It's not like it's Ryan Gosling doing it either, by the way.
That guy has to be rich, right?
Like, I could have been in this movie, and I would have...
Hot.
It's crazy.
The picture...
Great movie, though.
Go to the picture of Dizzy Gillespie, the Eric one.
Go to that picture.
That's Eric eating her pussy.
Yeah, my cheeks would be the most.
I'd do that.
I go like this, too.
Oh, God.
Of course.
I knew I shouldn't have brought it up.
All right.
So I saw.
Have you seen?
Turn my mic up.
God, dude.
What are you, a hyena?
You got to make the noise so they know it's good.
Uh-huh.
So when you eat pussy, it's just silent.
So they don't know.
All they hear is just...
Oh, God, dude.
You got to have a little bit of like...
Goddamn.
All right, nobody?
That's it.
No, I do...
I know.
Wait, wait, first of all, I know chin eat pussy like that.
That's exactly what they hear.
Oh, dude.
That's exactly what my wife hears.
And then they go, and she goes, why don't I feel it?
And it's just because it's the sound of me jerking off, and I'm just staring at it.
That's even worse.
Yeah, I know, dude.
And how long does she realize she doesn't feel anything?
That's a good woman that wants to make you feel good about it.
She's like, you know what i mean oh
yeah and you're just doing it you're not even you're just you're getting it oh my god you're
just like right there right there um all my wives watched this podcast said right now they're just
texting each other yeah no but i saw we i watched dude they're just texting each other No but I saw
I watched dude
Speaking of Emma Stone
I've been wanting to watch this show
I turned it on and I was like let me just see
It was 11pm
The Curse
Bro
I mean
I watched four episodes last night
It's been a while since I've laughed that hard at a TV show.
Oh, really?
I'm going to check it out.
It's just, no, it's so weirdly good.
Four episodes.
I mean, I had like three laughs where I screamed out.
I'll have to check it out.
It's so fucking weird.
And Emma Stone's in it?
Yeah, she's great.
She's been weird.
Like I say, Poor Things is a weird movie, dude.
It's a weird movie.
This show, bro.
It's so weird, bro.
It's really great.
You know Nathan Fielder.
He does weird shit.
And the Softie brothers, right?
I mean, Benny Softie's in it.
But it's so... I don't even know what
it's about it's a fourth episode I love
that kind of yeah it's but it's really
well done and I don't know what things
was about but it was interesting the
whole way through so she's into some
weird shit right now I love it yeah I
don't know it's not really good I don't
hear too much about it which is odd
because I would think that the industry
that's yeah well welcome to my like it
welcome to I'm dying up here I know no one knew about that either I know think that the industry would like it.
I'm dying up here.
No one knew about that either.
I know, but that's what's happening. That's why the shows like that get canceled.
How about Ali Wong just sweeping? She won a Golden
Globe, won an Emmy last night.
Ali Wong is all over the place now.
Was the Emmys last night? Yeah.
Did she win Best Actress in a comedy for an Emmy?
Good for her.
She won the Golden Globe last week. That was a weird show.
Did you see Beef?
No.
Oh, you got to watch it.
I have no desire.
Oh, it's a great show, man.
It's weird.
I thought it was just for Asians.
No.
The way they're...
Brendan will be in Arizona on...
The way they promote it on Netflix is really weird.
For me, it just shows like this heart or something.
What is that?
Or it's like a...
You don't want beef?
What?
What are you talking about?
Yeah, beef.
What'd they show?
I don't know.
Whatever the thing is.
I don't even know what it is.
It's the Ali Wong face.
It's not.
Nobody's face.
It's like this object.
I think it came for the lower subscription.
And I'm like, I would never want to click on that. This stuff I would click on maybe. It's a this object. I think it came for the lower subscription. And I'm like, I would never want to click on that.
This stuff I would click on maybe.
It's a weird show.
It is weird.
It was great, though.
I thought it was pretty good, but the ending was kind of like even crazier.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It goes off the rails.
Like, it's not what you think.
It's actually not what you think.
What's it about?
Well, I mean, it's about.
It's not just for Asians?
Someone cut.
No, dude.
No, it's about these two people.
Someone cut someone off or something?
It's about these two people's lives and how it affected their lives.
Like one incident.
Someone's going through this, someone's going through this,
and then you have road rage.
It's a series?
Yeah.
Just off one incident?
Yeah.
No, but you get to watch it.
No, no, no.
It's actually good to watch it, but the ending's kind of crazy.
That's all.
It is kind of crazy.
What was the other all Asian movie?
There are a few
And this is not an all Asian movie
What was it Nick?
Absolutely not
Crazy Rich Asians
It's like Black Panther, never saw it
Okay well
Black Panther was probably
One of the better Marvel
Is it Marvel?
The first one?
It's Marvel.
Yeah.
Hell no.
Really?
Hell no.
Getting in the air.
Hell no.
Don't get me started on Black Panther.
Hell no.
That was the white guilt movie of the year.
Black Panther reminded me of, what's that?
Hamilton.
That's another one.
Have you ever seen Hamilton?
No, no, no.
Black Panther and Hamilton, same thing.
I remember I watched Hamilton on Disney. I started watching it. It's on Disney. Have you ever seen Hamilton? Black Panther and Hamilton, same thing.
I watched Hamilton on Disney.
I was like, oh,
they're rapping.
To me, honestly, people are like,
Hamilton is so great, they rap.
There's nothing that sounds worse than that.
Hamilton, sorry, I'm rapping.
Did you go to the play? No. I left, and the guy goes,
I was in New York, when it's the height of the play,
I'm out there performing, I need something to do because I had an off night. Dude, halfway through, I'm leaving, And the guy goes, I was in New York. When it's the height of the play, I'm out there performing.
I need something to do because I had an off night.
Dude, halfway through, I'm leaving.
The guy goes, where are you going?
I'm like, I've seen enough.
And they just keep rapping in the second part, too.
He goes, yeah, dude, it's Hamlet.
I'm like, ah, I'm good, man.
He goes, you're the first person to ever walk out of Hamlet.
I'm like, I don't give a fuck.
Hamlet.
I thought you would never go to musicals.
I love them.
Do you really?
I love them.
I love musicals, dude.
I put a sign up right in the front window,
advertisement right in the front window,
and all of a sudden, success coming out of the blue.
Low-chop horse.
But yeah, I just-
That's my favorite.
Dude, I saw Pretty Woman with Rachel in New York.
Feed me, Seymour.
They made a musical of that?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I saw Wicked.
You should do one episode where it's Congratulations the musical
I'd be exhausted
Six minutes in
Just sweating
No I love Broadway
Musicals are the shit dude
They're so talented
Old ones are terrible
You had me at Hello with Mary Poppins
Old ones are terrible
I've always wanted to see Lion King
That's awesome.
But you know what?
It's really good.
The thing is...
There's an agenda behind it.
It ruined Broadway.
Well, I was fucking younger when I saw it.
What do you mean?
Because they turned everything.
It had to be like commercials and have toys and have stuff attached to it.
And now it's all like...
That's why they did that $100 million Spider-Man production that failed where the guy got hurt.
That's what happened to freaking G.I. Joe
cartoon. They took it off the air because it was a
commercial. But anyways, go on. My Fair Lady
didn't like it. No, the old ones are terrible
dude. Keep going. A Star is Born.
Didn't see it. I like the original.
They're going to old
ones. Yeah.
Sweeney Todd's great.
Didn't see it.
Oh, that's good.
Won't.
Joanna.
Oh, that's a movie.
These are movies, too.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I would even go.
When I was at NYU for a year, I fucking went alone to some.
I went alone.
That's how weird I was.
I saw Billy Crystal, one man play.
Solo, front row. That's really weird I... I saw Billy Crystal, one man play. Solo, front row.
That's really weird.
Bought snacks and everything.
Just...
Could you imagine
Brendan doing that?
Oh, I love it.
Because I could never do it,
so I enjoy it.
Let me see who else won here.
Keep going.
Oh, sorry.
I'll tell you that,
Anthony, whatever his name is,
is a great host, too.
You got to be like in the...
Yeah, in it.
Who's the host? Yeah, to do it. Anthony Anderson. Anthony Anderson. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's the host?
Anthony Anderson.
He's the guy from Me, Myself, and Irene.
I mean, not what he's known for, but yeah.
That's what I know him for.
Blackish, right?
Anthony Anderson was in so many.
He was in The Shield.
Me, Myself, and Irene, dude.
He's one of the fat brothers.
He was, though.
He was, yeah.
He was also in that one great...
He was funny in that.
What's the kung fu movie?
I know what you're talking about.
It's not Russia.
It was DMX, right?
Yeah, it's with DMX and...
Jet Li?
Jet Li.
Exit Wound?
No, no.
It was with Aaliyah, too.
Damn, yeah.
She was in there, too.
There was a series of them.
Exit Wounds was one of them with DMX.
Romeo and Messiah.
Romeo and Messiah.
Oh, my God.
That's right.
I have the DVD of that. I've never seen it. I am a huge. Romeo Messiah. Oh, my God. That's right. I have the DVD of it.
I've never seen it.
I am a huge Jet Li fan.
Oh, I'm not.
If anything came out, I would get it.
I don't know.
Is that just for Asians?
I know, dude.
That's Asians.
Is it just for Asians again?
Yeah.
That's the name of the movie.
I like Big Trouble in Little China.
I knew Anthony Anderson from the sitcom Hangtime from 1995 to 2000.
He's been around, huh?
Wow.
I did his game show, whatever it was.
I was on it.
Blackish?
No.
What the hell was it called?
I did a few of those.
I can't believe who won.
Okay, wow.
That's crazy.
He's been around a while.
Where did he look like?
He's really not the wrong black guy. He's racist. Yeah, he's not the wrong guy. Well, wow, that's crazy. Wow. Yeah, he's been around a while. Where did he look like? Where is he? No, he's zooming on the wrong black guy. He's racist. Yeah, he's zooming
on the wrong guy. Well, he wanted to make sure.
He's in the show. Oh, there he is.
He's the fat one on the left.
That's when he was fat.
Great show. Probably not.
They played on a court
that was like 30 feet long. That other guy's a comic too,
right? The other black dude? Isn't he?
That's racist. No, I think he's a comic. No right? The other black dude? Isn't he? That's racist.
No, I think he's a comic. That's an ex-basketball player.
Oh, it is?
Okay.
Yeah, that became an actor.
He's the coach.
He's like the Rick Fox of that era.
Got it.
But it says We Are Family was the game show.
Is that right?
Maybe.
It was with his mom or something.
Go down a little bit more, Nick.
With a 70-year-old mom.
You know who keeps winning too?
Golden Globe and the Emmy is Macaulay Culkin's brother.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's a great show. Did you watch Succession? I the Emmy is Macaulay Culkin's brother. Yeah.
Oh, that's a great show.
What's his name?
Did you watch Succession?
I just call him Macaulay Culkin's brother.
And I don't like how he wins awards and doesn't acknowledge his brother.
Look, obviously, I'm Macaulay Culkin's brother.
But I just want to say, I'm also my own person.
He has to do like this, Chris.
He has to give you an award like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He never gives his brother a shout out.
I mean, you know,
you just said how fucking weird it would be
if he shouted out Macaulay Culkin and his brother.
You never seen that show.
For no reason.
You want to shout out your brother?
Oh, you're saying as a family.
I see what you're saying.
He thanks his entire family.
Like, mom, thanks for being the best mom.
He's like, my brother, fuck you.
Yeah, weird.
What?
This came on last night.
What? Yeah, I watch all this crap. Yeah, I don't? This came on last night. What?
Yeah, I watch all this crap.
Yeah, I don't even know about any of this.
If Joe Coy didn't host the thing,
I wouldn't have known about the Golden Globes.
I turned off when they did the big gay segment.
What do you mean?
Jesus Christ.
This one?
Too much.
There was a big gay segment?
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Celebrating gays in Hollywood.
Emmy?
Yeah.
It was like a 20 minute
LGBTQ thing
Like oh
Which I don't mind
I'm just
What was it though?
It sounds like you
Mind it
I don't mind it
It's 20 minutes of it
I got it
So wait
So what happened
How much gay is okay for you then?
I drove the Rivian
And it wasn't for 20 minutes?
No
Alright Well And it wasn't for 20 minutes? No.
All right.
Well.
Hey, Golden Hour crew.
Quick question for y'all. I turned 30 today, having a little birthday thing on Saturday.
Hell yeah.
But when did you guys stop celebrating your birthdays?
That's seven.
Or going out and doing stuff?
Or when do you think the right time to stop celebrating your birthday is?
Thanks, everybody.
Early 20s was me.
Yeah, after 21.
I disagree.
That's the last one.
30.
Yeah, that's fair.
That's fine.
You want to do something for your 40?
Maybe that's okay.
But you know what?
You can't do it.
Right, right, right.
I agree.
You know what I'm saying?
I see, yeah.
I don't do it.
I stopped celebrating probably after 25.
And I imagine you have kids, and then your birthday becomes about your wife making it about.
Hey, he wrote you a note.
It's Dad's birthday.
That's what I get for my birthday, a note, a terrible drawing.
That's what I get.
It's not on the refrigerator?
Yeah, it's your birthday now.
It's all good.
Yeah, for me, it was like, I think 30 was the one you're like, oh, you're 30 now.
I was my early, probably 24 or something, you know.
50's a big one.
I feel like you should do something for 50.
Nope.
I remember where I was.
I was doing a gig.
Yeah.
And I took it last minute, too.
I have a gig on my birthday in North Carolina.
If you want to go to chrislee.com, get tickets March 29th.
Come to the birthday show, guys.
Oh, yeah, we're Pisces bros oh that's right
oh you too
him too
no he's not
no no no
I'm Aries
oh Aries
we're Pisces
yeah
fucking
fish bros
do you have any birthday parties
you remember
you wouldn't have
what it takes
to be an Aries
do you have any birthday parties
you remember as a kid
we went to Chuck E. Cheese
and High Roller Skating Center
oh I used to go to Shakey's
all the time
my mom would have
Shakey's parties for me.
For pizza?
Yeah.
We'd get Mojo's and potatoes.
And you know what I realized when I think back to it is like, I didn't like any of these
people.
But it was like your parents.
Damn, bro.
They hit up the other parents like, oh, you know.
No, I have friends.
It becomes about that.
I had friends that I liked there.
I don't think I've ever had Shakey's pizza.
I've never had it. You've never had Mojo's? No. What's that? That's a different potato. I don't think I've ever had Shakey's pizza. I've never had it.
You've never had Mojo's?
No.
What's that?
That's a different potato.
I don't remember any B-days.
Mojo's are from Shakey's?
Yeah.
Oh, got it.
Yeah, Mojo's potato.
Is that a California thing?
Let's open up a Shakey's, dude.
The Golden Hour Shakey's, dude.
And they have chicken.
It was great.
And Freddie Roach serves it in shakes.
I would have thought that.
You are on.
I'm on one today, man.
You are on one today.
I'm about to cancel myself.
I need to get out of here, man.
And Shane's going to get the brunt of it.
Why are you working with that Asian?
Why don't you stick up for our kind?
We got sucker punching the streets.
You know you eat pussy like eric said yeah yeah yeah yeah
not like that uh i don't know i i i the one that i remember do you guys do round table pizza
yeah i love it king of the spring i used to go there and play mortal combat
it's good i've heard of it when's the last time you played on one of those oh god we got one right
here what's up daddy you one, two right here.
I didn't do it.
I'm just trying to remember the last time I put a quarter in a machine.
I used to go to the arcades all the time.
Hell, yeah.
Latin, arcade, shout out to Aurora.
There was this great arcade on Vermont in a really not a good neighborhood.
We would just be in there playing games.
Would your mom drop you off with quarter, like whatever, 10 bucks?
I was there for like four hours.
Yeah, it was crazy.
I always wondered how the older kids knew the fatalities.
There was no internet.
I know.
It is weird.
Did they know all the moves?
I thought about that the other day too.
I think about it once a day.
You just learn things, man.
It's like, how did everybody know?
Nah, man.
All the moves?
It was crazy.
Were they rich?
Were they just played with everybody?
Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Liu Kang.
Yeah, things just get around, man.
Stuff gets leaked, bro.
Raiden. Stuff gets leaked, bro.
Stuff gets leaked.
It's insane.
I remember being at my cousin's, playing it by myself,
getting down to the fatality, practicing every combination,
starting to fight over, and that's how I learned.
Wow.
Wow.
Thank God for people like you.
Remember Tekken?
Street Fighter used to be the game.
Tekken?
People would be waiting to play Street Fighter.
And Tekken was a side piece over there.
And they'd be like, you can't be,
there were certain players that didn't want to be.
Can't be Chun-Li and do the kick.
Can't be Honda and do the hand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You see, dude, Tekken,
I've never been more mad than playing a game,
than playing Tekken.
Oh, yeah.
Never been more mad.
The new one just came out.
With a 75-hit combo you had to do.
I used to like being Paul.
I was so angry with the Tekken.
But you know they're making Tekken 8?
Did you see Brian Cox's commercial for Tekken 8?
No.
It's so weird, bro.
Yeah, the new Tekken comes out for PS5 if you want to pull it up.
Yeah, but it's so funny because Brian Cox knows absolutely nothing about Tekken at all
and did this.
Did the first one, yeah.
Here's the story so far.
Like has no idea.
Every single fight, no matter how big or small,
has a story behind it.
Has no idea.
Has no idea. Has no idea.
He's totally reading a script.
Has no idea, dude.
I love it.
This is five minutes.
In Tekken 8, Jin Kazama will face...
Oh, no.
You know he fucked that name up so many times.
Kazuya is threatening global domination.
I watched this whole thing.
Hey, driving.
He possesses the devil gene as well.
He may be the only choice.
He's doing this shit?
That was me.
But how did we even get there?
How the fuck did he?
There was a pain in the ass.
He's honestly asking.
That was me.
But how did we even get there?
How the fuck did he?
Like, there was a page. He's honestly asking.
Yeah.
Why do these fathers and sons keep throwing each other off cliffs?
The guy with the cue cards next to the camera.
Well, it revolves around these three men.
Heihachi Mishima.
What the?
Why are they making him do this?
Who got paid more, him or Kelsey, to do some bullshit?
Look it, look it.
Oh, no.
Look at our hands here walk.
Great, great, great.
Also, too much, man.
It's a fighting game.
It's five minutes.
This is five minutes.
Is this for kids?
Oh, his jacket doesn't fit right.
He probably got dumb and like what this is for
Hachi did what any loving father do because we got the cliff off this cliff to see if he would survive
Let's go see dude this can easily be also a timeshare
Like a timeshare video?
I'm Brian.
You too can own a piece of it.
This clip.
That makes more sense than this.
That's what the game looks like?
No, no, no.
He's telling the whole story so far.
Will you listen? In a moment of poetic justice,
would throw his flag. what a terrible idea I think it's actually a good idea
because I think people are thinking like it had like a weird effect like what is
this shit and now it's getting out there like why do I know about it yeah you
know I'm saying like we're talking about it yeah exactly look at this look how
they used to look. Animal rights activists.
Is this a girl?
Yeah.
He's going way too deep.
Hey, man, I just want to fight people.
It's so weird they made this video.
I mean.
How about he tells us the combos?
Yeah, dude.
Up, up, down, right, left, box, box.
Let's go again.
Let's do it again.
Holy crap.
This guy was mad that they killed him off on Succession.
Oh, really?
Yeah, he didn't want to die.
Succession was up for like 27 awards last night.
They didn't win a single award.
Really?
No, they didn't.
What are you talking about?
Macaulay Culkin's brother.
The show didn't win.
Oh, wow.
But that's...
They were up for like 27.
So, okay, so...
I might have made that up.
Yeah, he makes a lot of stuff up.
I think...
Look it up.
So, thanks for, by the way, coming clean.
But the coming clean to me is great.
But, yeah, I wonder how much he got paid for that.
Imagine when they send him the script.
He must, you know?
You know what's funny
They said Kelsey made
20 million I think
You talking about the Bud Light thing
No for the vaccination
Sorry the vaccination that's what I meant
That's how I confused that
I would do it too
Yeah fuck it I don't give a shit
20 mil whatever man
Just tweet afterwards yo that was bullshit
20 mil
No way they paid tweet afterwards, yo, that was bullshit. 20 mil?
There's no way they paid him $20 million.
Yeah, I don't know if they... Well, I don't know.
Sports stars get a lot of money for shit like that.
Oh, pharmaceuticals don't have unlimited budget?
Yeah.
And they need to get the word out, and he's the most famous NFL player, Dayton Taylor
Swift, who also pushes the vaccine?
Yeah, no.
I don't think that...
Weird, I made that up.
Here's the weird thing about Brian Cox is...
He's still going. Oh, my God. about Brian Cox is... He's still going.
Oh, my God.
I don't think...
This is a weird thing that, like,
that it's, like, in the zeitgeist of Hollywood.
Like, I don't think people actually give a fuck about it.
Like, I don't think having Brian Cox on this commercial thing,
or whatever it is, you want to call it,
helps in any way.
Because I don't think people who play video games
give a fuck about Brian Cox.
It makes it more mainstream.
If you had Kevin James doing it,
it would make more sense.
Succession was such a big show and he's relevant.
So they're like, all right, let's...
He's relevant in a circle, though.
I disagree, though. Massive circle though i think it's all about intent if their intent was to inspire weird
conversations about yeah true true true true then this is good yeah yeah but if someone if there was
some person that they could have inadvertently got this response. Right. Exactly. Yeah. But wait, how many views does it have?
Seven days ago?
62,000.
Like, that's weirdly little.
Yeah.
And they have 11 million subscribers.
It's PlayStation.
It wasn't a hit.
But I'm saying they definitely gave him hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Oh, easily.
All that dialogue?
Brian Cox?
He'd be ready.
He'd be on the cogs?
This was one day, bro.
How did you see it how did you do it
in one take too
can we do it again
I did it
yeah
he just walked out
I guess we got it
let me know how your movie goes
they were like
but his jacket
was weird in the take
they were like
he doesn't
give me a weird jacket
he didn't give a shit at all
yeah
I want the jacket weirder
yeah I don't know man
how did you see it?
You're one of a few 62,000.
How did I end up seeing it?
You know what?
It just straight up showed up on my YouTube algorithm.
Video games sometimes pop up on my shit.
I don't know why.
I watch.
Sometimes I watch video game stuff, and I never play video games.
But PlayStation could also promote it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
But they obviously didn't too much.
Well, it's not working yet.
It's also too long.
That was what I was shocked.
I was five minutes, bro?
It should have been a minute clip of him talking. I wish you could see the analytics of that video.
Bro, it's got to be.
After the first minute?
Minute?
I know.
Yeah, yeah.
But like, because nobody's.
Because me, I was just like, I got to see this whole thing.
Like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
That's why you get stuff like that
because your algorithm
is just full of weird shit
yeah yeah yeah yeah
what's playing right now
there is some sort of like statica
oh
there it goes
it's still the video
there's another Tekken commercial
oh
it's the rest of the video
he's in his chair
just sitting there
for like six more minutes
keep it going
keep the cameras going.
All right, well.
That's it.
At any day now.
I know, crazy, dude.
Any day now, you'll have your baby.
At any day now, I'll be in Phoenix and Brea and Albuquerque.
So we all have good stuff going on.
You couldn't even take a pause?
I know.
Congratulations, Albuquerque.
I'll be in Austin next week.
Friday, Saturday, Austin, Vulcan Gas Company.
And then Thursday, Nashville, Zanies, one night only.
I have some new dates up soon.
I'll get back to normal, but I'm just kind of anticipating.
Exciting.
All right, kids, love you.
Thanks.
Hold on to your jingle bells.
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Sometime in the early 80s, REO Speedwagon's airplane made an unannounced middle-of-the-night landing.
This is my friend Kyle McLaughlin, the star of Twin Peaks.
And he's telling me about how he discovered a real-life Twin Peaks in rural North Carolina,
not far from where he filmed Blue Velvet.
What was on the plane was copious amounts of drugs coming in from South America.
Supposedly, Pablo Escobar went looking for other spots,
quiet, out-of-the-way places to bring in his cocaine.
My name is Joshua Davis, and I'm an investigative reporter.
Kyle and I talk all the time
about the strange things we come across,
but nothing was quite as strange as what we found in Varnumtown, North Carolina.
There's crooked cops, brother against brother.
Everyone's got a story to tell, but does the truth even exist?
Welcome to Varnumtown.
Varnumtown is available wherever you listen to podcasts.