The Golden Hour - Chin Looks Different | The Golden Hour #34 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: June 23, 2023Brendan Erik and Chris are back in studio to talk about the dangers of AI, the Rogan debate hullabaloo, male cheerleaders, and animals acting like humans, and take submission...s on a viewer saving a baby deer, transitional lenses, and amusement parks. Blue Nile - https://bluenile.com with promo code GOLDEN Get two extra episodes every month at https://Patreon.com/TheGoldenHourPodcast
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We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about
But that won't stop us
Nothing can stop us
Ooh, yeah
It's like a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the Golden Hour
It's the Golden Hour
Dude, this AI shit, it's real, man.
Like, I didn't realize this, but there's a lot of deep fake porn AI now.
What do you mean?
Like, it's not really her?
Yeah.
Ain't that a bitch, but it looks real?
Oh, yeah.
I saw an article about it, then I went and looked it up, and I was like, oh, wow, this really looks like Megan Fox.
It looks like Emma Watson, Taylor Swift, all these people.
And they're making these websites, and they're making them like, you know,
Ariana Grande, all these people that you think.
And then there, the companies are saying, hey,
we don't have to give their permission because it's just a fantasy.
Yeesh.
And then those people are.
That's dicey.
Yeah, it is dicey.
And these people are saying, like, but that's where it's going to go.
Name and likeness.
Yeah, exactly.
The AI is going to be like, no, no, you have to pay me. Like, if you're going to bust on my face, I need to at least get paid for it. people are saying like but that's where it's gonna go name and likeness exactly yeah it's gonna be
like you know no you have to pay me like if you're gonna bust on my face i need to at least get paid
for it that's which is like okay but think about this but think about where it's gonna go next
it's all hologram right now even if holograms time no but check this out put me in some gay ones
they probably will yeah mix it up i need to be in a real i want to be in a bukk bukkake. I'm sure there's like Justin Bieber ones and all that kind of stuff doing terrible things.
But the thing is what's going to happen next is you're going to have the –
the AI is going to be connected to a sex robot.
Yeah.
But I think that that's where it's going to go.
You're going to license yourself out, right?
Yeah.
So Megan Fox would be like, okay, I'm selling my license to this company.
They can make a sex robot that looks like me.
Yeah.
And then there's an AI that has my voice and everything.
There's a movie called The Artifice Girl.
Yeah.
The Artifice Girl.
It's literally that.
Oh.
You make a – it's about their – what?
What?
You just wake up.
No, no.
I'm good.
Well, he just shit.
He's just like – I feel like you're lightheaded because you have so much shit in you.
Oh, I did.
I went to the bathroom.
No, you're like, the thing is about this.
You know what I'm saying?
So I think that that's.
He just got up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I think that's where we're going.
They're going to have to pay.
They're trying to catch this pedophile ring and they make this AI girl
and then like she's undercover. Yeah,
it's crazy weird, but it's kind of what you're
talking about. Yeah, it's just insane.
You watch some weird shit, dude. It's insane.
All that shit's insane. But it's like
like you look AI is never going to
go away. So it's time to embrace
it. So we have to like do things like
change the laws. Yeah.
Well, that's going to have to like do things like change the laws yeah well that's gonna have to change
every week yeah well you need someone ai is gonna have to update the laws but you need somebody
who's educated on it you know that you need somebody who knows what the fuck they're doing
like did you see the the politician when they're trying to get rid of tiktok and he's talking about
it you're like oh you're not the guy for the job dude you have no clue what you're talking about
ai right you need like an expert in the government, dude. You have no clue what you're talking about. AI.
You need an expert in the government to do it. But dude, I've talked about this before.
Even on a simpler level for the laws to change, my buddy's motorcycle got stolen.
And he had the tag on his motorcycle.
And he followed it.
And they had the motorcycle in the apartment.
Cops come and go, but we don't have...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, what are you talking about? There it is. And they're saying motorcycle in the apartment. Right, right, right. Cops come and go, but we don't have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, what are you talking about?
Look, there it is.
And they're saying that doesn't count.
No, it doesn't count.
Enter the property.
No.
And so they need to change that.
They need to change that.
They need to change that.
You know?
Cops like, just wait for him to come out and take your bike back.
Quit being a bitch, right?
This guy.
Like, just wait until he comes out and then get your bike back.
What are you, Rambo?
And there's a chase and then people die because they get run over and shit. Oh, God. This guy thinks he's freaking. What are you, Rambo? There's a chase, and then people die because they get run over and shit.
Oh, God.
This guy thinks he's freaking me.
What are you, my grandma?
I'm just saying.
He's Leonie's friend here.
I have a set of skills.
Yeah.
I'm just saying.
You can't wait out front and be like, hey, dude, that's my bike.
Well, you can.
Yeah.
You guys can too.
Nick's not going to do that.
Yeah, he is.
Nick's a gangster, dude.
Nick slept in a car. You don't think he's fucking stolen a few bikes? He's not going to do that. Yeah, he is. Nick's a gangster, dude. Nick slept in a car.
You don't think he's fucking stolen a few bikes?
He's not going down a freaking line.
Yeah, Nick's like, you stole my house.
Out of date tonight, man.
Can I get my good jacket?
My good jacket.
Chin looks different today.
She came back from Korea.
Way tanner. No, he doesn't. Dude, what. She came back from Korea way tanner.
No, he doesn't.
Dude, what's up with...
I don't see color.
Yeah.
No, what's up with...
I didn't know about...
So they're already doing that AI shit?
Yes.
There will be lawsuits and...
Well, yeah, there will be.
But like...
Because I saw Megan Fox talking about it.
And she was just like, we're being sexualized and bum, bum, bum.
And it's like you go – trust me.
You know, it's a fine line.
But I think that if you're going to sexualize yourself, fine.
I agree because you're in charge of it.
And you should be paid.
Yeah, but don't – other people doing it?
No, no, no.
You know what I mean?
I don't know how I feel about that.
Like if somebody did it to me, I wouldn't give a shit, you know?
You would give a shit.
Let's say someone started OnlyFans of AI of Chris D'Elia, but it's a gay one.
You're just sucking the boys off.
And this dude's making $20,000 a month.
You need to be like, whoa.
Yeah, I should be making the money.
Or let's say you have kids, you a daughter and you're like she's 18
right you don't want that stuff out there you you should have the ability to go you gotta shut that
down ah you they just it can't be a free for all but here's how well i'm saying for me i wouldn't
care but i'm saying i i would unless i would have to make the money yes but but i i get for a woman
because it's a different thing like it's for a woman it's a different thing it's like no check
this out though well you know how. You know how you have a song
and then all they have to do is change one note
and they say, well, that's not right.
That's what they're going to do.
They're just going to put like,
your nose is here, they're going to make it like this.
That's not really you.
Or it's going to look like you but have my voice.
Hot.
Yeah, dude.
Actually, it should be the other way around right
why it should look like you and have my voice no well either way so not so he's either obnoxious or
it's generally how it goes with hot people yeah um no uh that's crazy when. Why is that not more well-known, I guess?
Well, how about the same thing with the aliens?
Nothing's well-known anymore.
There's so much news and nonsense out there that no one even cares about anything.
Well, they don't care about it, or you get silenced.
Like the Bobby Kenny stuff, like the Robert Kenny Jr. stuff.
YouTube was like, nope, we don't entertain that.
Out of here.
Like, whoa. Now, a lot of it and i'm this is right at this moment our podcast just went no not yet not yet schultz has talked about there's been a bunch of podcasts talking about it
now it gets dicey right because i think you saw the whole rogan uh bobby kenny stuff
no no you i saw that he was on there and i was like. I saw that he was on there
and I was like,
oh, I did see he was on there.
Yeah.
So he goes on there
and he's the,
he's running for president
for the Democrats.
He goes on there.
Now he's labeled
as like a kooky conspiracy
vaccination guy.
Yeah.
That's how they label him.
Like you can't take him serious.
You got to be careful
with that though
because he does
a lot of stuff
that he does is true and he does have his fucking black belt and a lot of that
stuff now some of now the media is gonna go but he's crazy he thinks the waters turn frogs gay
and that's what's affecting the kids that gets a little dicey i don't know the one thing he does
know is you know and he's a lawyer by trait and so he's won a lot of lawsuits in regards to vaccines.
So all he's saying is that the COVID vaccine came out too early,
and usually, and this is Fauci's word for word saying,
usually we need about a case day of six to eight years.
Yeah.
This vaccine came out in six months.
Right.
Some people got it in two months.
He's like, it's way too early.
Yeah.
That's all he's saying.
It's not this kooky thing. Yeah. And so he's going through all the stats who knows what's real
who's i don't know it seems like he knows his shit and then the guy who created that mdr whatever
uh comes out and like this is the prom you know when this stuff gets out his name's i think peter
was it peter hotas hotas he comes out says it's vaccine misinformation. So Rogan goes, cool.
Why don't you come on my show and you and Robert Kennedy Jr. have a debate?
Open debate.
No time limit.
You guys do your thing.
People are like, oh, Rogan's spreading misinformation.
I think people have, and I'm going to listen to those guys on health and not the other guys.
But the thing is.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just real quick.
He's jacked.
Wow.
He's being Rogan. Look at him. He's jacked. Wow. He's beating Rogan.
Look at him.
This is a man.
His forehead is huge.
I mean, it's just-
That's daddy.
His hair went back.
That's daddy, dude.
But anyway, finish what you're going to say.
So where it comes out is so the left's going after Rogan, misinformation.
Yeah.
And so Rogan goes, I'll give you $100,000, charity of your choice, if you come on and
debate Robert Kennedy Jr., and if you can prove that he's wrong, I'll give you $100,000
to charity of your choice.
He goes, I would never give credit to that.
I would never do that.
It just gives credit to this misinformation.
And then Rogan's like, no, no, no.
You just come on and prove, you're the expert, prove that he's full of shit. And then he goes, no, and everyone's going, no, no, no. You just come on and you're the expert. Prove that he's full of shit.
And they go, no.
And everyone's going, no, you can't debate this wrong with misinformation.
My thing is if you're an expert in your field and this guy's saying you're completely full of shit, it's okay to have a debate.
The problem is when there's no transparency and you're just getting away with this shit because and i i think where people go wrong
on rogan is rogan's not anti-vaccine rogan has questions about the covet vaccine right uh robert
kenny jr he's not anti-vax he has questions about the covet vaccine yeah when you go nope shut up
take it no dude yeah no no because if anybody knows anything about history you look at the
to see there needs to be a dialogue for all this stuff.
The second there's not a dialogue, say what you want.
Most of the far left, they don't want a dialogue.
They just want you to comply.
They're not even going to debate in the primaries.
They don't even want to debate.
No, that's what they say.
They say, oh, yeah, come in.
$100,000 for a chair of your choice, which is a nice thing.
And they say, no, because they don't want a dialogue.
I think you should have offered it to him.
Then he might have been like, well, I mean, I don't know.
No, he makes enough money.
That's where this gets dicey.
Because, again, to defend this Peter Hodes, it's like he's done a lot of good things for health and saving lives.
But when it comes to COVID-19, you look at the amount of money he's made by doing and pushing these agendas.
We have some questions.
And people go, well, you're not an expert.
No, no, no.
That's why I want to see them debate.
I don't get it.
Why can't they debate?
Well, it gives credit to this.
But he's completely full of shit.
If you're an expert, that should be easy to just disarm him in every fashion.
Or how about this?
It's not even about, like, person being right or wrong.
It's about these two people coming and discussing it.
I'm okay with a health professional who like, you know,
who has strong feelings about what COVID could have been.
I'm okay with them feeling and believing that.
And I'm okay with the other side being like, you know,
having their feeling and then them discussing it and come to some agreement.
That's exactly how it should work. Yeah agreement that's exactly how it should work yeah that's exactly and then where people get it wrong and
now it's up to 1.5 million everyone's like yeah we're gonna donate money to get this going and
he's still not engaging it because he's compromised he makes so much money off that off that field he
makes so much money pushing these vaccines he's like hell no but he don't want to lose the debate
well i don't even want to don't he doesn't want to give it energy because he's like
a the left does not want him going on there because there are some questions and it's okay
to go i got some questions black people in alabama when they're doing the syphilis vaccine
we have some questions there's a reason why black people don't get vaccinated as much as white people
they learn from history they got fucked over so they go we got questions now it shouldn't be shut up we're the experts just listen to what we're doing no no no
i got some questions but you're not an expert i know the problem is the experts have lied to us
before and you're they're compromised because they're receiving financial benefit from pushing
these vaccines well we also shouldn't assume that that's the only- This is a comedy podcast, right? But yeah.
Be funny then, motherfucker.
I'm kidding.
Chill, dude.
That's why you're here.
All right, all right.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
No, no, no.
I'm ready.
I'm ready.
This is a comedy podcast.
Go ahead.
Do some comedy.
Go.
I'm kidding.
Go.
It's very interesting, actually.
It really is.
What's fascinating to me is how upset people are, and they go, go Oh Rogan's just not in there because he's going to bully him
And it's like oh you don't know Rogan
Rogan would go on there and go
If that Peter
Came on and lit
Robert Kenny up Rogan would be like get him
Like he's not he doesn't have a dog in this fight
He's literally like I just want to open
Dialogue to get to the bottom of it
They think Rogan's
going to come on and side with Robert Kennedy Jr. You don't know
Rogan, dude. That'd be great for his podcast, too.
Talking about somebody making money.
Rogan? No, Rogan makes
no more money. What this show does,
100,000 views? Yeah.
All I'm saying to you is this. Another thing
I think, then we'll move on from this,
is let's not assume
just because somebody makes money at
something doesn't mean their intent is bad and evil like I don't want I don't know it's dicey
brother no with politicians too I don't I don't want to assume that this guy there's money in
everything you get into something to make money yeah just because somebody makes money doesn't
mean they're evil you're right yeah yeah I agree yeah just because they got into like you know if the guy's like you know i mean there are if you look up like
there's a lot of these people who study uh viruses that they they they were calling this
from the beginning they were calling that there was going to be a pandemic yeah they're always
worried about it yeah yeah the virus people you know they're always like well be careful that
they know what's going to happen.
They had to do that. Otherwise, they don't have a job. Yeah.
But also it might get leaked out of the lab,
you know, but whatever. They're always worried
about it. So I just
feel like, you know, then the people that come
to try to provide
help for it, if money
comes from that, I mean, it's like, I don't
then who's good? Who's a good
person? No one's a good person. No, no, person no no once they make money they're not a good person but it's okay to
question that and go hold on with this vaccine with this vaccine that's you know we got some
questions about it it can't be take it or you're the you're the enemy exactly that's the issue like
why are you pushing it so hard yeah no i when we know we know for a fact that they had a six-month study
and we don't know the long-term side effects,
we got some questions.
Shut up.
You're the problem.
They didn't say, yeah, this is very quick for a vaccine.
We're doing what we can.
It's been six months.
We do need six to eight years, but take the vaccine.
We think it works.
But they're not going to say that.
They're going to say take it
take it or you lose your job
normally you don't get
normally they don't do human trials
and that's what we did
yeah so yeah we got the human trial
so now whatever comes out now
it's probably pretty good and I'm not
anti-vax but once you have kids
Eric gets his booster every month
I'm on my 11th booster but once you have kids it's a different yeah it's all boosted I'm on my 11th booster
but once you have kids it's a different thing there's like a horn coming out of it
if you have a tail I don't have COVID though yeah yeah but once you have kids is that you
start questioning certain shit that'd be sick I'd if I get a tail I would get the vaccine all the
time if I had a horn yeah oh yeah that's You're not going to get COVID, but you are going to grow a tail.
Can I swim better?
There we go.
I started with saying that Eric got it every month.
Yeah, but I tagged it.
I know.
I know.
That's how it goes, man.
And we're off and running.
Also, you want comedy.
You ever seen the health experts?
Yeah.
You ever looked at the health experts?
They never look like they run on the treadmill.
Check, please.
It's weird. They all look like they run on the treadmill. Check, please. It's weird.
They all look like fat white walkers.
You don't want to take advice from someone that looks like that.
You ever seen the US?
I want a health expert to be like literally 5'6", jacked, super tan, with bleach blonde hair.
That's what I want my health expert to be.
Like a Jersey Shore, bro?
Just like, hey, guys, how's it going?
I figured a bunch of stuff out, you know, on the
floor here. I mean, only meat.
Yeah, yeah.
So tanning beds,
they don't necessarily cause
cancer. I think everybody should be doing those every
three days. Especially your asshole. You're in a
waiting room and the doctor, he's one of these guys,
he comes in, hey guys, how's it going?
Just make sure you're doing okay.
Just do the steps the whole time. There's the leading health expert for the United States.
Well, mentally and physically, that's health-wise, that's odd.
Oh, Darren, come on.
People get old, man.
Old?
Old?
Yeah.
People get crazy and old, dude.
Yeah, they get old.
Yeah, so you can't be the head of health.
You can't run the fucking nation being that old.
People do get old, but how old is that person?
You can't be a health expert looking like that.
What's your cholesterol?
How do you think you get to become an expert?
It's over time.
And you have to...
So they're the best person for the job?
So look up Albert Einstein, what he looked like.
He's not giving me health advice.
He gave a lot of advice about a lot of things.
Not health, though.
Yeah, but he was too old, so we shouldn't...
So at what age should we not listen to anybody anymore?
Because they're old.
I would say 70.
Wow.
75?
Jesus.
Sure as fuck not.
Case by case.
Yeah, well, it is case by case, of course.
It is case by case.
We have a really good case right now.
Biden the other day said, God bless the queen.
We're all, you're in Montana, bitch.
And I saw the queen died.
He's all, shut the fuck up.
Where did he say it?
He was like in Montana doing a speech.
Ended it with, God bless the queen.
He did?
Yeah.
It's like, hell yeah.
God bless the queen?
Yeah.
Oh, man, that's not even the right thing to say.
Even if you are in Europe.
Yeah.
I think he's just trolling Brendan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wish.
You got this guy's job.
I'm going to fucking troll him.
In the White House? Yeah. He's got his glasses. That would be, oh, yeah. I wish. You got this guy, Schaub. I'm going to fucking troll him. In the White House?
Yeah.
He's got his glasses.
That would be, oh, man, that would be fucking sick, dude.
He's like the dude from CSI Miami.
He just goes, God bless the queen.
Ha!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh!
Do, do, do.
You know what I mean?
That fucking Schaub, man.
Yeah.
Oh, fucking, it's not the same without Theo.
I can see him being in in the white house listening
to the uh man the way he says man too is great play it god save the queen they can see you
and uh it's the least consequential part of this whole meeting for you i promise all right
god save the queen man well he was that could have been a joke, but you don't know.
The thing is with him, don't make that joke.
The thing is with him, don't make that joke because then you're going to be like, oh.
Well, then there's too many jokes.
But then there's too many jokes then.
What are you saying?
I'm saying I totally agree with you because you look at that and you go, it's like at
one point, like what?
There's two cases.
Yeah.
There's one.
Yeah.
He is senile.
Yes.
Right.
Of course.
That we know.
The other case is he's just fucking around with everybody.
Well, that.
You gotta be a president though, dude.
Like you can fuck around sometimes.
This is problematic because either he's senile or he doesn't know that if he makes that joke,
people are going to think that he's senile.
Either way, that's bad.
I think he's fallen down the stairs just to be funny.
I think he's fallen down the stairs to be funny, too.
No, dude, he just goes.
I think he fell off the bike to make us all laugh.
There he goes.
He goes like this.
Hey, check this out.
Wow, man.
It's crazy.
You get that on camera?
No, he probably goes.
Leak it.
They probably go, hey, your son's laptop information. He comes out and goes, watch this. And just fucking falls over. He gets on a camera. No, he probably goes. Leak it. They probably go, hey, your son's laptop information.
He comes out and goes, watch this.
And just fucking falls over.
Leak it.
He's in the SUV.
Imagine you're the secret security.
The secret.
What is it?
Secret service.
Secret service.
And they're just like, oh, God.
He's into his falling joke again.
He's going to fall.
He's going to fall.
And Biden falling in three, two.
Here we go.
Look at him.
Hey, man.
Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck, man. No, that sucks, man. That does suck. Look at him. Hey, man. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck, man.
No, that sucks, man.
That does suck.
That does suck.
No, and my heart goes out to him, but just be a person.
Don't be president, right?
Don't be president.
What?
But you're all down on what's in place.
But eat graham crackers and get out of here, right?
I think Biden, yeah, just be in office, not at president.
Yeah, be the rich guy.
Same thing.
Same thing.
Trump.
Trump.
Agree.
Hey, bro, just be a billionaire. Agree. No, no, no. I get it. Hang with rappers. Yeah, be the rich guy. Same thing. Same thing. Trump. Trump. Agree. Hey, bro.
Just be a billionaire.
Agree.
No, no, no.
I get it.
Hang with rappers.
Yeah, get out of here.
Both of them.
Get out of here.
They're both ridiculous.
We need the fucking tan, five foot six, blonde, bleach blonde dude to be president, man.
Hey, guys.
Woo.
What's up, Rose?
No, not that guy.
Here we go.
God save the bros.
God save the bros. God save the bros.
Him playing it.
He's in a convertible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With a flamethrower.
The thing that I don't appreciate is we need some sort of like,
we've lost this idea of having like a regal regal leader that can galvanize.
Like a real leader.
You want somebody that when they're doing a State of the Union,
I want a dude that's standing there and he's saying stuff,
and when the opposite side is going like, oh, you're a liar.
I want that dude to be able to go like this.
Yeah.
And they go like this. They go, oh, my bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want that Putin liar. Yeah, yeah. I want that dude to be able to go like this. Yeah. And they go like this.
They go, oh, my bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want that Putin effect.
Yeah, dude.
I want to-
Obama had a little bit of that.
He had a little bit of that.
When he addressed the state-
When they called him a liar, he had that look on his face like, okay.
You know, Obama did have a little bit of that.
Yeah, Obama had a little bit of that.
Yeah, yeah.
I just think that we have, we've lost this like-
What if that's what he did, by the way?
Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm fight. What if that's what he did, by the way? Okay.
Yeah, I know.
That's what I'm saying.
That's the shit.
It's like white chicks.
He just goes, you want to talk about Obama?
Are we talking about Obama?
There's a great deepfake video.
They've been doing deepfakes for a while.
There's a great deepfake video of Obama where he finishes his speech and he drops the mic,
takes the papers and throws them in the air. And we'd be like,
I first saw that and I was like,
oh man, dope.
Have you ever seen when Obama, I think
he's meeting the Olympic
basketball team. It's like white guy, white guy.
He's like, what's up, man?
Well, that's that joke that
he did on
Key and Peele.
Was that Key and Peele? Key and Peele.
It's because when he met,
he was being Kevin Durant.
He was like, what's up?
So it was like,
why you got Kevin Durant?
He was like, yo.
So that Key and Peele speech
is one of the funniest.
Is this the one
where he drops the mic?
Yeah, I think it was real.
Oh, killing it.
Ernie's in serious tubments.
Shit, lip bite.
Last time we'll see him.
He's off.
Stand up.
Oh, yeah.
Obama out. Obama out.
Obama out.
Oh!
Big what?
ABC News.
Washington.
Yes, but no, no, no.
You got some flavor.
No, no, they took that.
Right, right, right.
And made a...
I know what you're talking about.
They made it even bigger.
Like, he tore up papers, blew them in the air.
It was like, you know.
Still pretty gangster, Mike, though.
But it's not that thing, though.
He's like, I'm killing it.
Yeah, I know, I know.
But by the way, Trump got the last laugh on that, though.
Oh, yeah.
That's what made him run for president.
He was like, well, that's not what made him run.
Imagine, dude.
That was his origin story?
Yeah.
It's a big, like you hear him talk about it.
He was making fun of him being president.
He was like, oh, okay, okay.
Then he like, you know, and then he went.
Imagine like that.
There's that whole transition where you have to move out of the White House.
Yeah.
Right.
You know what I mean?
So they, you know.
The president's have to talk.
It's just a two-way street.
Imagine he's just like, well, remember the.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Remember the correspondence dinner?
He's like, man, you were crushing it?
That's fine.
Security.
Security.
Yeah.
Get these.
Oh, he almost said it.
Mic drop.
All right.
Well, that's it, guys.
Thanks for watching.
See you tomorrow.
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Take TI.
Everybody should listen to that first hour and 15 minutes of RFK on Rogan, though.
Really?
No matter what you believe, you'll at least raise an eyebrow.
He's the most evidence-backed person I've ever heard talk,
and him getting blown off as a conspiracy,
there's no way you can think he's crazy, at least, after listening to it.
And when you hear him talk, you're like, oh, the media,
because we all do it.
The media paints him one picture.
Then you hear him talk like, oh, damn, he's actually trying to spy.
Most people just read headlines.
They just see that shit.
Have you seen his approval rating?
Who?
He's more favored than Biden now.
That's the power of Rogan.
Oh, is he a Democrat?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, and he's saying no vaccines.
He's not saying no vaccines.
He's saying we got to have questions about the COVID vaccine.
And he also says he's not running on vaccines because he knows that's divisive.
But he wanted that hour on 15 minutes because he can never have a platform
to say that, and he just got it out,
and he probably won't talk about vaccines unless
he's asked again. He doesn't want to talk about
vaccines because everyone goes, you're crazy.
No, I'm not. That's annoying, dude. He's really
anti-war Ukraine, which is
going against most of the Democratic Party.
What happens when any time's
anti-war? Go through history.
They get assassinated.
Really? Or they don't run. They'll silence them.
Shut them down. When you're anti-war. Oh, because war makes
money? Big time. Well, there's no
you know what's crazy about this is
this is what's so like
Trump is super anti-war.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
Like what's happening to him?
I know. Well, true enough.
Make sure you're out.
You're out.
To get back to the comedy part of it, it was like, I used to do a joke about this, but
remember when Trump was walking down the thing and he had the toilet paper?
Yeah.
I was like, they would never let.
Oh, yeah.
Nobody, no one would ever, that's how you know they hate him.
Because they would never let Obama walk on the toilet paper.
They're out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Except for they were like.
Secret Service was like, let him go. Let him go. Let him go. This is how that went. This is how that went. He had toilet paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except for they were like, let's go.
This is how that went.
He had toilet paper on his back foot.
Someone was like, Mr. President, you have toilet paper on your back foot.
He didn't even look, and he said, no, I don't.
And he kept walking.
That's how that went.
And he was like this, too.
That doesn't happen to me.
Melania, behind me.
Everyone knew.
The secret service was like, please just tell me. He said, no, I don't.
Look at all these people.
He was like, yeah, cool, cool.
That's cool.
That's cool.
Dude, they would have tackled Obama.
By the way, that's the documents he got in trouble for on the back of his phone.
You brought it back.
There you go.
Those are the secret documents?
Yeah, yeah.
What if it was war secrets?
You zoom in on it and it says Top Secret.
It's Newt Codes?
What do you got, Newt?
Newt Codes.
Top Secret Newt Codes.
It's so bad.
That would be crazy, dude.
Oh, my God.
Melania is the password.
No, it would be like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Yeah, yeah.
This guy's got some more merch to show off.
What's up, dudes?
It's Lucas, Middle North, Wisconsin.
Hey.
I got some merch on.
I'm killing it.
I got some.
I got some more today.
I got some D'Lea.
Oh, my God.
William in the middle there.
Love the color.
Good picture.
What a weird picture.
Got some stuff on the back.
Oh, my God.
A little advertisement for a podcast.
Oh, wait.
Graduation?
I do it all the time.
Dude, I want that shirt.
Shobbs is coming in the mail, so he's next.
Love you guys.
Suck it easy.
Oh, no.
Suck it easy.
That guy, we already saw that guy with his, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Suck it easy.
What is that picture from?
By the way, there's no Shobb merch.
That's from, that was from my Aqua DiGiorgio ad.
I used to be a cologne model.
No, that was from when I shot that movie.
Were you a serial killer?
No, I played trans.
You went full-blown trans?
Hell yeah, dude.
Look at you, dude.
You're so progressive.
Well, no.
I'm trying to get in trouble.
Did you talk your shit?
I need scenes from that movie now.
It's out there.
Really?
It's out there, yeah.
What's it called?
Transformers?
We should just...
Day in the...
I can't remember what it's called.
You were Optimus Prime.
Life in a year.
Life in a year.
There you go. You guys know I did this. No, I don't. I it's called. You were Optimus Prime. Life in a year. Life in a year. There you go.
You guys know I did this.
No, I don't.
I told you, so.
So there you go.
I don't remember, but I kind of like it.
Yeah, you remember.
Why would you remember?
It was fucking five years ago.
You kind of did a thing where it was like you suppressed it.
No.
No, I didn't.
I posted about it.
Jaden Smith was in it?
What's-her-face was in it?
I'm not in the trailer, of course.
Oh, it says trailer with Chris D'Elia, the one below it. Oh, it did? I'm not in the trailer Of course I think the full movie It says trailer with Chris D'Elia
The one below it
Oh it did
I'm not in the trailer
Well no go down
It says with Chris D'Elia
Because I'm in the movie
But I'm not in the trailer
Yeah they removed it
Damn they cut you out
Do you know where you are
Yeah bro of course they did
That's the whole movie
Yeah it was a big part yeah
They cut it down though
But not because of all the shit
Just because it was
A bad movie
It was a bad movie
It wasn't a bad movie.
No, you said it.
That's fine.
It was okay.
I think they asked Brendan to redo all your scenes.
What if we did that?
Oh, my God.
That's a terrible looking woman.
Just to do it.
What?
He does all your scenes.
I love it.
Just do like a stupid like Aunt Charlie's angel wig?
It was horrible in all that makeup and all the nails and shit and the wig.
How was Jaden Smith?
Oh, he's cool.
Yeah, he's cool as fuck.
Yeah.
Was he trans in it too?
Uh-uh.
No, just me.
Yeah, it was fucking gangster.
They were like, they want you to do it.
I was like, all right, I'll do that shit.
Are you redefining gangster? No, it was to the truest was fucking gangster. They were like, they want you to do it. I was like, all right, I'll do that shit. Are you redefining gangster?
No, it was to the truest form, gangster.
Yeah, I mean, according to Biden, bravest people in the world, dude.
Here we go.
I was really brave that I did that, dude.
You're so brave.
Did you tuck your shit?
Did you tuck that shit out?
Nah, man.
They didn't have to show my fucking private areas.
I thought you were going to go full method actor.
You got my schlong off?
No, he got it surgically removed and kept in a jar. No, I were going to go full method actor. You got my schlong off?
No, he got it surgically removed and kept in a jar.
No, I just put it in my own butt.
Right here.
There it is.
Look.
Oh, my God.
I'll tell you what.
That day was the first day, and we did that makeup. I need to really take this in.
Well, actually, you don't like it.
You like it, bro.
I need to really take this in.
I got a good job for a chick.
I got good job shit.
Boy, they cake that makeup on, bro.
There you go.
You look like somebody's racist aunt.
That was the first day where it was too much.
They were like, there's too much makeup.
We can't do this.
Yeah, it looks caked on.
But it was good.
I was good in it.
I think you look like her.
There you go. I wish you looked like her. Evie Falco? I was good in it. I think you look like her. There you go.
I wish you looked like her.
Edie Falco?
I look good in it.
You're Sopranos?
Wait, get this off the screen.
That's nightmare feel.
I was hot, bro.
I was tall as fuck looking good.
No ass?
No.
And I met Will Smith because he produced it.
And I met him like that he produced it And I went
And I met him like that
I showed up
And I was like that
And he turns around
And he goes
Wow
And I was like
Man I never really thought
If I was going to meet you
It would be like this
And he laughed
And then had a very serious conversation
He was like
Well
You know
This is it
This is what
And I was just like
I don't know man
I got fucking tits on
For no reason he was like
Keep my wife's name.
Just for no reason.
All right, here we go.
What's up, gang?
Big fan of all you guys.
Shout out to Nick and Chin running the ones and twos.
I actually got to meet Chin in Atlanta recently.
That was really cool.
You sure it was Chin?
He's a lot cooler than I expected.
Talks a lot. Wouldn't shut up. It's a lot cooler than I expected. Talks a lot.
Wouldn't shut up.
It's kind of crazy.
Chen is a chatty cat.
I've got a question for you guys.
If you're at a bar or a crowded area and you need to make your way through
and there's a tight little gap with a guy on one side,
are you going butt to butt with that guy?
Like have you got to squeeze through sideways you know i mean are you just you going butt to butt are you going nut to butt um what's what's gay i guess is
my question i know it seems obvious but i did i did butt to butt recently, and it really felt like the gayest thing I've ever done.
And I fucked a guy.
I don't know.
Let me know what you think, guys.
Buzz buzz.
Freaking sore, baby.
And whoop whoop whoop.
That wasn't good.
Let me do it again, Eric.
Whoop whoop whoop.
Oh, you can kind of sing.
He's gay.
He just came out right there.
With sugar in his voice.
Well, that's like when you're like, when I go to a, I'm at a basketball game and the
seats are real tight, you know, and you come back with like your food.
Nachos and chips.
You know, it's like, that is a thing.
Do you like walk, you know, in front of them like, excuse me. Put your wiener in their face. Or do you put your ass in their face? It's like a weird thing. Do you walk in front of them?
Put your wiener in their face?
Or do you put your ass in their face?
It's like a weird thing.
Neither is good.
But if you're in a crowd space, I'll do, excuse me, bro.
So they at least turn a little so you can avoid going dick to dick.
Excuse me, dude.
He'll be like, oh, my bad, man.
He'll get out of the way.
Here's the thing.
Forget about which way you go.
The real question is this. You walk past somebody and you do brush
yeah what do you do then i always go what's up man i would say what's up what i'm saying is like
you just like that didn't happen and you just keep going brush what by the way you walk by and
you know your dicks touched okay okay two dogs your penis and someone else's penis. Yeah, yeah. You know they touch. Through genes. Yeah. But yeah, I know, man.
Where are you?
Hey.
This isn't at the fucking gym, dude.
In the shower.
If you're at the Abbey, man.
And why is it that crowded that you have to walk by somebody?
There's places where it's crowded, man.
Yeah, no.
You don't say shit.
You go, ah.
Why? We fucked up. And you keep going say shit you go or you go ah why we fucked
up and you keep going so you acknowledge i acknowledge by saying what's up bro what's up bro
like you know ah shit man ah shit man and he touches his face like this
ah shit man oh man he goes oh man oh man um i go tight quarters huh
yours got really weird.
I go, oh, man, it sucks, dude.
What's your number, bro?
It sucks, man.
Oh, man.
Ah, fuck, man.
What's your number?
Oh, shit, man.
I mean, butt's touching.
We built this, Sid.
I mean, butt's touching.
It's like, I don't know if that's even
You ever been on a subway
Or anything like that
It's like
Yeah
You're always like
I think it's like
Once you start thinking about it
Then it's like
Oh god
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah that's right
But I mean like
Butts touch
I do understand
How this guy could
Be saying
It surprisingly feels
Intimate
When your butts touch
How about this Because I wouldn't think that You're watching a basketball game Like I said You're in the stands It surprisingly feels intimate when your butts touch.
How about this?
Because I wouldn't think that.
You're watching a basketball game, like I said.
You're in the stands.
Cheerleaders just came out.
And it's like, oh, shit.
Hell yeah, dude.
All of a sudden, it's in your pants like, cool.
And that's when somebody goes, excuse me, man.
I got to go to the bathroom. Oh, no.
That's how people turn gay.
No, you tuck it up.
You tuck it up.
But how about this?
You go butt.
You're butt.
And then you feel it's just like, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You walk by and say, ooh, this guy.
And you know this guy's hard as a rock.
Oh, God.
I turn around and go.
Then what do you do?
I go, good for you, bro.
Oh, come on.
No, I go, good for you, bro.
Nobody's like, but I mean, it's like clearly.
And it's one of those things where it's real tight space.
So you have to like really.
And you're stuck?
Yeah, you're kind of like, you know, you're really like.
And the guy's like, wait, wait, wait.
The guy's like, do not move.
And he holds your shoulders.
And then you move a little bit and he just goes.
No, no.
If you feel him move at all like this, you feel him move forward just a little bit.
You know what I mean?
He moves forward just a little bit.
It's like you don't do that.
You know what I mean?
Somebody's walking by.
You don't go.
No, no.
You don't.
Most people won't say shit in their life.
It's real slight.
It's real, you know. No, no, no. I would be like say shit in here. It's real slight. It's real, you know.
No, no, no.
I would be like, bro.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, what are you doing?
Yeah.
Not me.
I look at them.
I go, cheerleaders?
I get it.
I get it.
That's another way to go.
I get it, dude.
She was, yeah.
Get yours.
Get yours.
The blonde, right?
You know, I don't know.
It's just, so I don't know what's better.
What's better or worse.
Well, if you're at the Rams game, hey, dude, did the cheerleaders do that?
The female or the males?
Because they got male cheerleaders there.
Even worse.
Did Dave and DeJuan do that to you?
Did Mary?
You feel me?
All right.
Them boys got all the sugar in the tank.
Oh, wow.
Guys killing it even harder than.
Look, even the women aren't even really doing it like that.
Oh, and they do flips and shit. I think it's kind of unfair that they're all practically naked
and he's got pants and a shirt on.
I think he chose that.
He should show some ball cleavage is what you're saying.
At least have the cheeks out the back.
Have some Daisy Dukes.
How can a dickie have the same shorts?
Yeah, it's pretty weird.
Dickie had the same shorts on. i think that might be too gay here you know oh like we
gotta go somewhere dude like there's no they're in the pool man you know what i mean you can't
get any wetter than that you know what i'm saying saying? Yeah, you can though. You can. You know?
There's got to be an issue with that,
I'm sure.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Right?
Yeah, they decided on that.
Right, right, right.
Well, the NFL was like,
no, we'll do it,
but hey, fellas.
Can't wear fish neck.
How about this?
I guarantee
they want to have
the same outfit on.
What?
I guarantee those guys
want to have
the same outfit on.
Right.
You're probably right.
It's probably the NFL
that was like, okay.
I guarantee the NFL was like, bro, we're not doing it at all.
Yeah.
Can you just wear the pants?
Just wear the pants.
Just wear the pants and the sneakers, dude.
Can you not do it in high heels?
The guy puts the pants on and he's like, these are so loose.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, get them tighter.
They're not going to let that happen.
What's up, Golden Hour gang?
It's your boy Jacob from Middle Georgia.
Calling in with a debate club.
Golded or molded, grounded or pounded, king it or sting it kind of deal.
So, yeah, we'll jump right in.
Raising baby deer in your house.
Hell, yeah.
That's crazy.
Found this little guy yesterday.
The mom had gotten hit by a car, and she's all on her own.
I think she's probably, I don't know, between two and three and four days old.
And so we're on that three to four hour routine, you know, bottle feeding, doing that deal.
Yeah, so what do you think?
I think it's highly illegal.
So I hope nobody comes for us.
But yeah.
Aw.
Is it illegal?
Been a big long fan of the show.
Long time fan of the show.
Not long.
That's fucking weird.
Long fan.
But long time fan of the show.
Really appreciate what y'all do.
So yeah.
Let me know what you think.
That deer looks like it's seen some shit, huh?
The deer's all fucking terrified.
I saw an Instagram video yesterday of a deer in the traffic in front of a car, right?
And it wouldn't move.
And then the guy gets out of the car, and he's petting the deer.
And then the deer starts, like, the deer wants the guy to follow the deer.
And he does follow the deer.
He's going to kill him?
The baby deer.
There's a baby deer trapped in a net.
Oh, damn.
He's like, come help me.
Yeah.
And so then the guy helps the deer.
They run off.
And then later, the deer.
This is it right here.
Then later, the deer, the baby deer.
The mom makes the baby deer go over and save him.
Although the driver got off the car.
Yeah.
Mom's like, get off my fucking nose.
Come help me with my kid, man.
Subsequently, start immediately following the direction of the mother deer to see the situation.
After more than 10 minutes, they arrived at the edge of this lawn,
seeing a little deer tightly entangled by a football net.
No matter how hard he struggled, couldn't escape.
On the contrary, the more struggle, the tighter the football net becomes.
The mother deer nodded desperately.
Signaled the driver uncle to quickly rescue his child.
It turns out that the reason why this deer mother disregarded the danger and intercepted the vehicle was to request human rescue for her child.
Because he knows that if the child doesn't receive timely help before long, the little deer will soon die.
Kind drivers are also moved by their maternal love. So decided to help the little deer get rid of it. He came to the little deer and began
to carry out rescue operations, but seeing strangers approaching the little deer seemed a
bit scared, continuously shouting and struggling. Hear child's incessant wailing. The mother deer
is also afraid that the driver will harm her child, continuously running anxiously back and
forth around. Seems to be pleading with the driver not to harm his child but they clearly misunderstood the driver the driver carefully
removed the football we don't need all the deer's body after a lot of effort the little deer finally
managed to be saved rescued deer ran back to the forest when i thought things would come to an end
like this however what didn't expect was just when the driver wanted to go back the mother deer
unexpectedly blocked the vehicle with the little deer again.
The driver just got ready to get off the car and check the situation,
but didn't expect the deer to suddenly run in front of him,
then knelt down on the ground with sincerity.
It turned out that he wanted to thank the driver uncle for his life-saving kindness in this way.
What a sensible little guy.
If you are still in front of the video, please light up the little red star
and leave a message in the comments section.
Everything has a spirit.
Exclaim that animals are also so magical.
Finally, let's give a big thumbs up for the kind driver uncle and the great maternal love.
May God bless good people with peace throughout their lives.
Bro, can you send me that?
Text me that video?
That's unbelievable.
I never heard that part of the show.
I saw it differently. That was on Twitter. That's pretty cool, though. Yeah, but anyways. that video that's unbelievable i never heard that part well that's what that's that's i saw
a different that was on twitter that's pretty cool though yeah but anyways so to respond to
this guy we're saying i love deer i think i think that you need to call animal control and make sure
that you're not you know making it so this deer is going to be out in in you know the forest oh
you're a square bro give that deer some gushers. It's going to take...
Dude, one day the deer
is just going to be like...
And dude, you're dead.
Dead.
Well, he gets horns.
You're fucked.
Well, not just that.
It's not going to be able to survive.
It's going to think it's a house deer.
Yeah, but you're going to die.
You know what I mean?
This is crazy, bro.
You might as well have
an elephant in the house.
No, it's a deer, you pussy.
The deer will fucking kill you.
No, that little deer.
Because here's why.
If an elephant is in the house, you go like this. If a deer's in the house no it's a deer you the deer will fucking kill you no that little deer because here's why if
an elephant is in the house you go like this if a deer in the house you're like oh cute you let
your fucking guard down and the deer one day just all of a sudden goes and you die dude
i've been on a set with an elephant Don't know
What was her name?
No
It was a PSA
For AIDS
I mean
Nick took a drink and you said that
That was the best time
It was a PSA for AIDS
You're on a set with a fucking elephant
Elephants get AIDS too
No it was about the elephant in the room.
Oh, okay.
I mean, just fucking CGI the elephant.
Now they would do that, but it was a real elephant.
But I'll never forget.
First of all, it was a non-union commercial.
So I'll let you know what's going on there.
All right.
And then this is the safety.
I'll never forget that.
Were you Eric Griffin at this time or you were just a guy?
Oh, yeah.
Not yet.
I'm just doing commercials.
He's a guy pretending to have AIDS. The guy goes, this is guy? Oh, yeah. Not yet. You know, I'm just doing commercials. You got to pretend to have AIDS.
The guy goes, the safety guy, the elephant trainer guy.
He says, all right, guys, listen.
This is how.
Don't make any sudden moves or loud noises.
Listen, I'm in there.
I hear that and I go, I'm out.
Yeah.
I'm not going to be anywhere near that.
You didn't do the commercial?
No, I just, I said, I don't care if I'm in it or not.
Right.
Like, I'm going to be in the world. You didn't do the commercial? No, I just, I said, I don't care if I'm in it or not. Right. Like, I'm going to be in the back.
Because I just saw one of these videos of an elephant rampaging through a town.
Yeah.
Like in India or some shit.
A circus elephant rampaging through a town.
Yeah, good for them.
Just grabbing people and like, I was like, nah, man, fuck that.
All those animals on set, like we did, Brian and I did a show where we had a baboon.
And the guy was like, little safety tips, do not look him in the eye.
If you look him in the eye, you're challenging him.
He's like, and these baboons can rip your face off.
And I was like, oh, okay.
So he was like, you want a picture of this after we share it with him?
I'm like, I guess.
He's like, but don't look him in the eye.
So I was all like this.
You're like a bitch with the baboons.
I was all.
He's just.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then there was a girl. And the girl,'s just yeah yeah yeah but then there's a girl and
the girl she you know she had some big titties yeah he was grabbing her yeah the baboon was
grabbing her oh and she's like okay that's time he's like nah bitch he's staying here and then
you look down just rock really red red rock really just so hard she was trying to leave
he's like nah bitch yeah there he is. Wow. Wow.
That is fucking nuts, huh?
That looks scary. Oh, you see his dick?
You see his little wee-wee?
Yep.
And then that thing got way bigger when that girl with big tits came out.
Really?
Yeah, dude.
And that dude would rip your face off?
That's what he told us.
Wow.
Well, look at his teeth.
That's scary.
I'm not comfortable.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, I'm not comfortable.
This is like the start of a scary movie.
Somebody said, you want to take a picture with scary movie. This is Planet of the Apes.
That ape can talk.
He's like this.
Don't move, Brendan.
You've seen the girl, though.
She's like, okay, thank you.
He's like, nah, bitch.
Would not let her go.
And he's like, just in time, he'll let you go.
Ten minutes later, she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
All right, wait.
Let him fuck you.
Let him titty fuck you.
Let's not make any sudden moves.
Otherwise, you're going to die.
You got to let him finish.
He's going to rip everybody's face off.
Dude, I went on Harlan Williams.
I see a little picture of Harlan Williams.
I went on Harlan Williams' podcast.
So much fun.
He had the glasses, nose, mustache disguise.
Yeah.
Okay?
Uh-huh.
Listen to me.
He had 40 of them.
That's hard.
So he would put it on, and I'd be like, I was laughing.
And then he was like, ah, you're right.
You're right.
Do it on the ground.
And then we're talking, talking.
He goes like this.
And he pulls out another one.
Dude, at first I thought he had 10.
I said, is that a 10-pack?
He was like, yeah, probably a 10-pack, dude.
So then I was like, ah, it was funny.
After the 10th, he pulls out the 11th, and I'm just like, I'm crying.
He's so fucking funny.
With me, he wrote this poem.
I thought he was like, fuck around.
He can write.
So he wrote this heartfelt poem.
I was like, oh, this is cool.
He goes, that's for you, man.
He's kind of getting emotional.
I'm like, damn, that was really sweet.
Thank you, man.
And he goes, man, I've always wanted to do this.
I want to fight you
and i was like what he goes like how do you think you would do if you and i fought i was like
i harlan i don't want to do i'm gonna fight you my friend he goes no seriously man friendship
aside i want to fucking fight you and i was like harlan i'm not doing this dude he's like
you keep saying that man but we're fine you're not leaving today i'm just fighting i was like
harlan i am not fighting you i'm like laughing he's like i'm dead dude we're fighting yeah he's and then i was like oh okay and he's like so you're
ready to go i was like i guess i don't want to do this hard i'm gonna fuck you up dude and he was
like he was like well we'll see then he gets out one of those rocket socket robot thing games that's
very him yeah i was like god damn it i'm talking he had me full i was like i don't want to do this
yeah he was the fact that he had and he told me, he had me full. I was like, I don't want to do this one. Yeah, he was.
The fact that he had, and he told me later, it was like something like,
it was like he had to buy a 20-pack.
But if you bought a, because it was, to get it the next day,
you could only get a 20-pack.
Then he was like, well, it's only this amount.
You get a discount if you get another.
So he was like, so he's just, but the fact that he just kept pulling them out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just kept pulling them out.
Check out his podcast, Harlan something or other.
It's great.
Harlan Highway.
It's so unique, too.
He's a real funny dude.
This video is just hilarious.
A flying squirrel fakes their death.
Oh, my.
It's all in slow motion like this?
I think it's my computer.
Oh, here we go.
Oh. That's my computer slowing down.
Oh.
That's me at the gym.
When your spotter doesn't know.
What?
Bro.
Between that and the deer thing, what the fuck's going on?
Animals, they're just like us.
Look at him.
He's all, oh, I give up. Just move on just move on he's like no it's not good enough hold on a second here we go there we go we got it there we go there we go flying squirrels are dope that doesn't even make
sense yeah that's it that's fucking weird huh some people had pets when i was a kid those sugar
gliders they're like little chick mugs that Those sugar gliders. They're like little chick monks that can fly.
Insane.
Sorry, the what?
They're like little chick monks that can fly.
I'm sorry.
Chip monks.
My son says chick monks.
Chip monks.
But you said chick monks.
No, I didn't, dude.
You're used to your son saying it, right?
I asked you.
I said, I'm sorry, what?
You looked at me and you said chick monks.
Did I?
And then you said chick monks.
Oh, no, no, dude. Chick monks. Those I? And then you said chick monks. No, dude, chick monks.
Those are the females with big tits.
And they fly.
Yeah, I know.
But a chip monk, right?
I had friends that had those as fucking pets as kids.
They're insane.
They just fly around the fucking house.
That's crazy.
It's like a rat.
It's just like a mouse that flies.
What the fuck?
Yeah, that guy's about to put the answer to this guy.
You got to get rid of that deer, dude.
No, don't be a hater.
Feed that thing, dude.
Nah, eat it.
Because you're really sitting in the wild game set match.
Eat it.
A wolf is going to be like, oh, cool story.
Yeah, because raise it.
I'm going to get him after us.
Have it get a job.
Buy it some clothes.
Get an OnlyFans account.
That's a movie from the 80s right there.
Fuck the deer.
What's up, fellas?
This is Brian from Plano.
I got a question. Debate club, if you will. You can see. Walking out right there. Fuck the deer. What's up, fellas? This is Brian from Plano. I got a question, debate club, if you will.
You can see, walking out right now, I got my sunglasses on.
But if I can make this work, when I get into the parking garage,
they'll transition back into my normal lenses.
And so the pro of this has always been it's easy.
One pair of glasses, transitions both.
I think it does look cool, but the cons being I'm 33,
and I get a lot of comments about how I'm not old enough to have those.
Why is he breathing so hard?
Because he's fat.
And also, recently at my brother's wedding, the photographer told me she could edit it out in post,
but now I look like a blind guy.
So definitely some pros and cons.
Why would he believe her?
In your opinion, what do you think?
Transitional lenses.
It's cool, not cool.
Old guy, young guy.
Where are we at with that?
I don't think it's an age thing.
I have some of those.
But is it an age thing?
No.
I have some of those, but they take too long to transition.
Yeah, that's what
i would wear in the car like i'm in here and they're still dark yeah you look like an asshole
well first of all and the thing about it too is you you actually forget that they do that yeah
that's the thing with me i had those and i would be walking around and then people people like
looking at me crazy you know when you go inside like why are you still wearing that's not that
weird to have sunglasses on like like, in a supermarket.
You're like, oh, they just forgot to take them off.
I don't understand that shit.
We were like, ah, cool, guys.
Sunglasses inside.
You're like, oh, fuck.
Well, Larry David said it.
If you wear sunglasses inside, you're either blind or you're an asshole.
But that's not.
Yeah.
I mean, if you're purposely wearing.
Which one are you?
If you're purposely wearing sunglasses indoors.
You're an asshole.
If you're purposely wearing sunglasses indoors and you're doing that as a style choice and you're like, fuck it, I'm indoors, but I'm wearing sunglasses. You're an asshole. If you're purposely wearing sunglasses indoors and you're doing that
as a style choice
and you're like,
fuck it, I'm indoors
but I'm wearing sunglasses,
you're an asshole.
But if you...
And Nick, right,
at this moment,
cut to that episode
that Chris has sunglasses on.
In here, yeah.
In here, it's a joke.
Is it?
But if you were...
It is also very fucking bright.
But do you remember
where that started?
Your future's so bright.
Remember that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm fighting the kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The kid with the glasses.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The future's too bright. That's right. I was fighting the kid where that started? Your future's so bright. Remember that? I'm fighting the kid. Yeah, yeah. He came with the glasses. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
His future's too bright.
That's right.
I was fighting the kid.
Where'd it start?
So, but how many times you got your sunglasses on, you walk in a supermarket or something?
Never.
No, no, no.
You just take them off immediately, every time.
Oh, really?
As soon as I enter, because I don't want to be an asshole.
Oh, really?
Or do you think you're like Bobby Bigwigs?
That's what I'm trying to say.
You walk in with your sunglasses, because you have sunglasses on.
Yeah.
Fine. But when you're going up to the pay. Yeah's what I'm trying to say. You walk in with your sunglasses because you have sunglasses on. Yeah. Fine.
But when you're going up to the pay.
Yeah.
And you're having a conversation.
You take them off.
You're having a conversation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They got to come off.
What I'm saying is this.
When you got to transitions, you don't realize.
I understand.
I understand.
I get it.
I've walked there.
I'm talking to people.
And they're going, what's up, man?
And I go, oh, shit.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
Yeah.
So I don't even wear them anymore because it got annoying.
It's honestly –
You have like those big Oakley ones, like the fucking colored ones.
You're walking in like fucking –
I think so much about things that don't matter, so much.
And this is one of those things –
We know this, right?
Yeah, that's like one of my things.
This thing, I don't fucking think about it at all.
I don't give a shit.
I don't even register when somebody is wearing sunglasses.
I do if they're like in a weird place inside.
But take, for instance, when we go to Erewhon,
and there's so many sunglasses in there,
I just think, I don't even think about it.
I'm like, oh, they...
I got a shake before this,
and there's a guy waiting for his shake,
and he had glasses on.
And just subconsciously, I went, asshole.
Really?
Yeah, I was like, oh, okay.
Big timer.
So funny.
He was saying the same thing.
When I walk in, I don't even think about i'm wearing sunglasses
i'm just i walk in and then i and then maybe 10 minutes later i'll be like oh shit no no listen
i'm with you yeah oh okay no no i'm with you i got it i got it if i'm wearing sunglasses yeah
and you're just like all right you got your sunglasses on because you have them for a purpose
right right it's right right right it's freaking sunny yeah so you're like like for me it's like when i'm driving
it's cool that my glasses change yeah yeah so i'm like oh great now i don't have to yeah yeah
those ones changed no not these the ones i used to have uh they change but then it got to a thing
like i'm saying like i'm like you're going to do a show yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, maybe it's like 6 o'clock.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This shit's doing – then I'm getting to the – I got to go and do my set.
You go on stage and you got sunglasses on.
That's funny, yeah.
Well, then you look like an asshole.
That's what I mean.
I'll wear the yellow ones indoor or outdoor.
That's different.
Yeah, that's different.
No, you're an asshole.
With the yellow?
Yeah, because you look like –
Jeffrey Donovan?
You're like a porn guy.
John Lennon started working out and he doesn't sing good anymore.
Yeah, that's sick.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You have to imagine all the people.
I don't get a lot of compliments.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What else you got?
What else you got, Nick?
Look at this guy fishing for compliments.
What's up, Goldman?
I'm a partner out here in Vegas.
Got a big club for you.
Amusement parks or water parks?
It gets hot out in Vegas, so personally, if I have to be outside,
I'm going to go for that water park.
Good question.
Let me know what you guys think.
First of all, Eric and Brendan, I've seen you both at Wise Guys, great shows,
and I'm looking forward to seeing you in July, Chris.
Keep up the good work.
Hell, yeah.
I'll be in Vegas.
I'll also be in Pueblo, Colorado.
I'll also be in Colorado Springs.
I'll also be in Charlotte, North Carolina, ChrisLay.com, Nashville, Knoxville.
Anyway.
I'm in Huntsville right now, so come and see me, guys.
School club.
Huntsville.
I'm in Covina next.
Wait, I'm not done.
I'm not done.
Huntsville right now, and then next week I'll be in Arlington at the Improv, so come check
me there.
Nice.
I'm in Covina.
Brand new Laugh Factory in Covina.
Really?
Oh, is it up yet?
Yeah.
Oh, really?
Did you see it yet?
No.
I want to see it.
It's supposed to be dope.
It's an amphitheater. They changed it. Oh, yeah. I heard about this. It's in Covina. That's Oh, is it up yet? Yeah. Oh, really? Did you see it yet? No. I want to see it. It's supposed to be dope. It's an amphitheater
they changed it up.
Oh, yeah.
I heard about this.
It's in Covina.
That's next Thursday,
Friday, Saturday.
David Lucas is opening up
for me as well,
so come on out.
There?
There?
In Covina?
Yeah, man.
Oh, cool.
Maybe I'll come hang and look.
That'd be dope.
Yeah, it's supposed to be really cool.
When is it?
Next week.
Oh, shit.
I'll be in Colorado.
Okay.
Covina, come get some. See you, Pueblo. See you soon, Pueblo. Oh, shit. I'll be in Colorado. Okay. Convenient. Come get some.
See you, Pueblo.
See you soon, Pueblo.
Pueblo.
So his question was water parks or theme parks?
Yeah.
Neither.
Dude, my parents used to drop me off at the water park as a kid.
It was like my daycare.
I fucking hated it.
Bad parents.
Yeah, terrible parents.
Dude.
With the aqua socks.
And then I would just piss in that lazy.
Yeah, dude.
Oh, pissing hard, dude.
And it's also it's like exhausting yeah
a water park you treat a water park like you treat a rental car oh yeah 100 you're just like
this isn't mine i don't care i just i first of all there's a certain time too that like water park
your body has aged out of a water park i've seen I don't know just fucking you know how they have the tidal wave thing where it creates a wave?
It's just a boogie board.
In fucking Denver, Colorado.
It was called South Shores.
It was like all the chicks would go in the summer.
And I was like, 413.
And I was so excited because they opened up the new tidal wave.
I was like, fuck yeah.
And I always thought I was a good surfer, even though I never surfed for some reason.
Except the internet.
Yeah.
So we waited in line for a while.
Dude, I get on there, and everyone's watching.
I'm like, yo, bro.
I'm like, what's up?
See you guys on the other side.
I get on there.
It's like, whoa, whoa.
Oh, shit.
My fucking shorts go.
No.
And then it goes around the park and just dicked.
Your pussy was out?
That's insane, dude.
Just asshole for everybody to see.
That's so funny.
Oh, dude.
Well, that means your butt was so funny. Oh, dude.
Well, that means your butt was just clean.
Oh, dude.
Somebody could eat it at that point. Three seconds.
Yeah.
He was like, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
No, no, I'll get out in a sec.
I just remember the hot girls being like, ah.
Yeah, with me, the hot chicks would be like, ah, whoa, whoa.
We built this city.
Yup, dude.
I've been there.
How was that?
I want to go so bad.
It was too crowded.
It was too hot.
But it was unbelievable.
You've been to Theme Park?
Yeah.
What?
Were they not crowded?
Yeah.
Well, it was Saturday, so it was extra crowded.
Did you just buy regular tickets and go?
So we tried to buy the VIP ones, but they only sell a certain amount, and we couldn't do it. extra crowded. Did you just buy regular tickets and go? So we tried to buy the VIP ones,
but they only sell a certain amount,
and we couldn't do it.
Thank God.
Why?
That's good to know.
Why?
That's good to know.
Meaning that they only sell a certain amount.
Yes.
Well, yeah, they should.
Yeah, because imagine if you're in the VIP line,
like, why is this as long as the other one?
Yeah, no, that's right.
That is definitely right.
But I still was able to sneak in to the VIP part.
There's actually like a...
I go like this.
Yeah.
Oh, my wife's got the thing
and she's like,
just stand over there.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I stand over there
and I go like this.
You're the worst.
Come on, Calvin.
Come on, Calvin.
Come on, get in the green pocket.
This is a hack with Disney.
You can be like, my kid has social anxiety.
He's a COVID baby.
So he can't wait in line.
We're so sorry.
From the line.
From the line.
Could have done it legally.
Wow.
Yeah.
My son has social anxiety.
So can we get in, please?
Yeah?
Cool.
Come on, Calvin.
Act fucking weird.
Oh, that's what I told him.
Go like this.
Calvin would just be like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's good. He's good. Come on Calvin Act fucking weird Oh that's why I go like this I go like
Calvin would just be like
Yeah yeah yeah
He's good
He would just be like
What is this
I used to go to
I used to go to Magic Mountain
All the time
When I was in like
Is that Six Flags
High school
Yeah Six Flags
And it would be like
They had this thing called
Twickets
Great Adventure was what
Magic Mountain was
Six Flags on the East Coast
Anyway go ahead
But they had this thing
Called Twickets
So what it would be
Is like if you Turned it in You could come back the next day for free.
But they only gave you one.
So we had this thing.
Wait, wait.
They only gave you one?
Yeah, because they didn't want you coming back.
Oh, I get it.
Okay.
But we would just ask people.
And so there was a time where I went to Magic Mountain like 10 days in a row.
Wow.
Tight move.
Beat the system.
Yeah, we beat the system.
But when's the last time you guys went on an actual roller coaster?
Like, I went to Six Flags.
I don't do that.
I was in San Antonio.
I went to Six Flags.
I move around on my own.
Oh, dude, I got...
What did you say?
What did you say?
I move around on my own.
Dude, I got so...
But you don't move around like this.
I mean, I...
You don't move around at 200 miles an hour.
I do.
Upside down.
Check this out.
I can do this.
Turn, turn, turn.
Here comes the loop.
Here comes the loop.
Here comes the loop.
It's a second loop.
It's a second loop.
It's a corkscrew now.
It's a corkscrew.
But I used to go on as a kid all the time.
When I got so sick.
I was good for two rides.
So sick.
There's one I just won't do.
I don't care what the fuck where I'm at.
Superman?
That stupid shit where it goes like this and it just drops.
Yeah.
No thank you.
A lot of people want that one.
I don't want my stomach in my forehead.
In my brain.
Yeah, dude.
Oh, dude.
I did it one time and I was like, this isn't fun.
I was done.
Dude, I don't get.
I don't get that.
I don't get.
That's not even Superman.
Who wants that sensation?
It might be Batman.
People go like this.
Whoa.
With a smile.
Whoa.
I don't do that kind of scared.
I do this kind of scared.
Yeah, yeah.
I get fucking.
I get scared and mad.
We're not doing this anymore.
I get mad.
I don't like that feeling
You feel like
You're like
It's horrible
Here's the thing too
When you're a big guy
When you're a big guy
The whole thing is like
You just kind of like
They cross your legs
I'm in it
And then it's like
The thing goes like here You know what I mean You're kind of like I don't know if I'm in it. And then it's like the thing goes like here.
You know what I mean?
You're kind of like, all right, I don't know if I'm in this.
For me, when I do Superman, my dick is like, you know what I mean?
Up like, and I got to grab it.
You're so fucking stupid.
Yeah, it sucks.
Ah, fuck.
Oh, dude, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Wipe your dick out.
Oh no no
I got it guys
Hey grab it with your mouth
Grab it with your mouth
Do me a song
Grab it with your mouth
Stupid
We're going on a turnaround
People went with black eyes
Oh we went on the ride with the Lea
You're so stupid
Like that chick that got hit
With a cell phone
The other fucking week
What was it Reta Rita The guy phone The other fucking week What was it?
Retta?
Rita
The guy said
Oh I thought it would be funny
How fucked up is that?
Bro that's so fucked up
Stitches
I thought it would be funny
Also
Throw
Your empty bottle
No don't throw anything
The thing was a G
Well don't throw anything
Don't throw anything
Throw something
The thing was a G
It's a fucking thousand dollars
He just goes
Conk
He also paid for front row tickets.
Hey,
back to the-
He got arrested.
The guy got arrested.
Of course!
I know,
but they found him and shit.
Well,
I guess they-
Because he had it in his phone!
Yeah.
They're all,
I want to say to throw.
What an idiot,
dude.
Nick,
speaking of amusement parks,
did you see that girl?
She's on one of those rides.
The ones that we hate
that go up and down,
and her friend's like,
there's so much fun.
There's some funny videos.
Her fucking titty pops out.
And she goes,
oh my God,
my titty's out.
But she can't stop.
And it's going,
woo, woo, woo.
Check this out.
You have to check out Patreon
because we're going to watch it there.
Yeah, we should watch all those.
You've seen Homeboy Pass out too?
Yeah, we have to watch those.
Patreon.com slash what is it?
The Golden Hour Podcast.
Yeah, her big titties.
The Golden Hour Podcast.
And make sure you get the gold jackets.
They're still on sale.
Oh, there's only 50 left.
Limited edition.
50 jackets left.
We started with 50 million, so that's cool.
We're like, dang, man.
50 million.
We had like 53 of them.
Golden jackets.
We had 52 to start.
We have 50 left.
It's only available for the Patreon fans, too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Covina, next week, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Those shows are damn near sold out.
Covina represent Laugh Factory.
Next Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Tickets at thickboy.com.
Guys, Huntsville right now.
And next week, Arlington Improv.
Come check me out.
And then you go to chrisley.com.
Knoxville, Charlotte, Las Vegasotte las vegas pueblo love you guys Thank you.