The Golden Hour - Comedians on the Spectrum | The Golden Hour #113 w/ Brendan Schaub & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

The guys talk New Year's resolutions, New Year's resolutions, Chris thinking he's on the spectrum, Erik missing the show because of the Swine Flu, friends with autism, stand up comics that never blow up, Jason Kelce's wife's new podcast, Chris turning down a feature in Men's Fitness Magazine, Squid Game 2 and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast

We're friends that laugh, we're friends that shout Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about But that won't stop us Nothing can stop us It's like a show you used to love, just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power Cause it is the Golden Hour It's the Golden Hour That ice coffee looks nice

Yeah dude, you ain't getting it You ain't getting it man And I was gonna go to Phil's. I would've got you one but. Oh I already had Phil's. Two Phil's is too much but that looks nice. It looks dark roast. No it's just.

Are we on Nicholas? It's just espresso. That's just espresso. That's just pure espresso with water though. No. Bullshit. I sorta got it. How many shots is that?

Four. I go. That's why you shit your pants during the show. Well, I started just coffee, and then I just wanted to get it, it's like not enough, it's like not taste bitter enough. I want it more and more and more and more.

Pretty soon I'm just gonna be eating the beans. It's like meth. You start with a little Adderall, and then. Yeah. So that's what I do. I have one. Wow. That's what I have in the morning, four shots. Or sometimes I'll do a cold brew, but not usually. And then in the day I might get a cold brew or something. Yeah.

Oh, you're pumped. I'm pretty pumped, yeah. I don't find that, like for today I can't wake up for some reason. You want me to slap you? No. But I don't, I feel like I don't wake up for some reason. Want me to slap you? No. Uh, but I, um, I don't, I feel like I don't. Wake up.

I feel like it'll help me in the morning, but at night I could drink it and it doesn't affect me. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't affect me at night, bro. Like I drank one last night. I was at the live factory and I just went to home and went to bed.

Yeah. My, on Saturday, my girl had something. It was, uh, her friend's surprise birthday party. You know, I'd never go out, but she was like, you gotta go. I'm like, all right. I was so tired. I'm in bed usually by like 8.39, dude.

I'm at that level. And this thing started at nine, so I took pre-workout. Right. Dude, boy was blitzed. Oh, you were. Oh, I was talking everybody's air off and I was like, oh, fuck tonight. Got home, slept like a prince.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was it, was it so, because you took the pre-workout, was it also more fun? Yeah, I guess. Or were you just like, Oh my God, I can't believe I'm able to do this. No, I was chatty calf. Wow, that's hilarious. I don't know.

Very rare for me. You just sit in the corner, don't talk. That's funny. Yeah. Uh, it sucks when you need drugs to be a good guy, you know, I get it though. Caffeine? Caffeine, you know, that's a drug. I mean, it good guy. You know, I get it though.

Caffeine? I kind of get it. Yeah. Caffeine? No, that's a drug. I mean, it kind of, you know, I get it though. I want nicotine. I get it. Yeah.

I get it. Do you have any new year's resolutions? Oh, no. I asked Brian. See that everyone, all my friends were all the same. What? Nah, that's right. Everyone's nah, I don't do that shit.

But if you did, that's the question. Yeah. All right. Fine. No one's going to be like, you know, I'm trying do that shit. But if you did, that's the question. Yeah. All right. Fine. No one's going to be like, you know, I'm trying to lose weight. And all our, like our crew, no one's going to do news resolutions, but if you were going to, I wanted, I, uh, I, I get some sun maybe. Yeah, that'd be good.

But I want, I want to be more, I slipped, I, I slacked on my kind of like fitness. I want to be more, I slipped, I slacked on my kind of like fitness, I wanna be more active. That's a good one. Yeah, sure, but it's pretty standard. I mean, that's pretty much it. I think that's the number one resolution for people at Doom is like, yeah, get back into gym. We'll lose weight or yeah.

Well, what would you, do you have any? I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I was thinking about it. You guys got any? Not that you have a list, but if you're going to do one, otherwise, because there's, you know, if you're in a New Year's episode and was like, I just don't do them. Most dudes I know don't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I get, but you know- If you're going to do what, like, I'm getting better at not talking like politics or pandemic shit, like in general, cities, my family. And then today, man, my wife had to grab me and I was like, am I,

am I the crazy guy? Cause we try not to bring it up around family. The news popped up, you know, send him whatever, two more billion dollars, Ukraine. I was like, ah, man, I hope my dad doesn't hear that. And then he was like, oh good. I'm like, hi, I'm just gonna lay low here. And then he go into Trump and they said something

about, oh, we need to go back to like the days of Bill Clinton. And I'm like, have you seen that meme where the kids like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like that. So wait, but I was like that. So you have family over?

Yeah. Oh, wow. They left today. After that, you're like guys get the fuck out. Yeah, that was me. Right there. That's you. When he, when he mentioned Bill Clinton, I just was like,

but I didn't say anything. And I was like, you know what? I'm growing up. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, dude. But also, but it's part of it's like, am I the crazy son of a bitch at the party? All you have to do is imagine- Or am I just, or am I just dropping fat? All you have to do is imagine yourself as an 80 year old doing the same thing and then you realize you're crazy. That's what I do. I'm like, oh, if an 80 year old was doing this at this place, I'd be like, that guy's nuts.

But just because I'm me. Yeah, but like, what happened the other day? I was losing my mind at some shit. Yeah, but it just seems like an older person when they do it, they're like, oh, that's a crazy person That's a fucking crazy person But if we're two 80 year olds doing this people like those fucking old bats, they look crazy as shit I don't know man. Well podcasting is young still, you know, there's no 80 year olds doing podcast. Mark Rives 90

No, but but in 20 years there'll be some 60 There'll be a lot of 60 year old podcast. Yeah, us dude. Oh yeah. Brian's can be 80. Probably. This is what I thought about when I was a teenager, like when rappers get old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to think that too. Now it's going to be podcasters.

Hopefully we'll get shot like all the rappers. Dude, I- But what's going to be weird is our kids will be able to listen to like a whole catalog. I thought of, yeah. I think about that all the time, bro. Our dads were dumbasses. Yeah, I know. No, I think about that all the time. Our dads were dumb ass. Yeah, I know. No, I think about that all the time.

And then I don't, I don't know. Uh, if I'm still podcasting at 60 behead me. Are you going to be doing standup? Yeah. I, I, yeah. I, I, I see. I think that looks weird. Really?

Why? Cause we saw like, I guess I see what you're saying. I mean, granted, you know, he had some dark arts, but like we saw Bill Cosby at like 70 doing it. Hey bro! Yeah. I don't see Tom Brady throw a pass at 70 either. Right. Well, but comedians get... a lot of times... well, comedians can get better.

But... After 60? After 60, I don't know, but athletes, they don't get better. They get... The point is, I don't see... Well athletes, they don't get better. They get. The point is, I don't see, it's not like your brain's getting sharper when you're 70. Yeah. I guess. And you're a little more out of tune with shit.

Like you don't have your ear to the ground. That's why I say they can get better. That's why I say they can get better. Like there's nothing worse when you see like an old salty comic, just that one dude never made it and you're like, oh, he's at the store at the Laugh Factory Monday through Sunday. Yeah. Yeah.

Just hanging out. Well, hoping not getting on or getting on it. Or it might get on, I mean, he just has the same bit and you're just like, this is what you do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's rough.

Uh, it's doing stand up past sixties, even at 60. It depends though. You can be selling life rips merch at 65. No, I'd be on my death shit. Death rips. Dude, I feel like, um, I feel like. That's fire. Death rips. I would trademark that now, bud. Um, I, I think that like, if I guess my idea would be, oh yeah, that's all. Well,

that I guess like idea would be, oh yeah, that's all. Well, that guy's like 80, right? Falk. I guess I would. So here's what my, I think I would like, if I could choose what I would be doing at 60, 65, right? Stand up every once in a while, maybe once a month, once every two months. What's time field? But that's like on the road I'm talking about.

If I wanted to, I would pop in, do spots, right? Yeah. Uh, no podcasts and nothing else and be a huge crypto guy. No, not a crypto guy. What do you do during the day then? Uh, be with my kids. Oh, I don't know, my kids will be older. Yeah, bud.

Oh, that's the thing. That's the thing. I didn't think about that. My kids won't even be in a house anymore. Well, Billy will still, but like, um, yeah, that's a good, that's a good question. Like right now. Yeah. You're like, Oh man, I need more time. My kids are in sports. Yeah. That's what I do think of. Yeah. But when they're 16, good point. You're right. Yeah. They're gonna have their own crew, their own friends. Like just, they still love you and they, but they got their own shit dude.

Yeah, of course. What are you going to do? Oh, that's good. I don't know yet. And you, you don't think you would podcast like even on, even on your own? Congratulations. I've said everything I feel. No, well. This is like tomorrow guys.

So you're going to keep doing it. It's going to happen so fast. Yeah. 60, though? Well, you wouldn't do the one with your brother? Like that? I guess. You see him once a week because of it.

And it's super fun. But we're talking about 15, 20 years doing the same shit? The older you guys get, the better that gets. Yeah. What gets? You and your brother? You and your brother bickering and shit. The older you guys get, the better that gets. Yeah. What gets? You and your brother. You and your brother bickering and shit. If you're 80.

But also you're going to have a different perspective. And also it's not like you guys are like, you know, you know, no, like you, like you guys just talk about like life and curtains, it's not in 20 years, you're gonna have more shit. It's not like you're going to run a shit to talk about. At least you don't have it. Why? My partner's Cal and he's dead. You're there man. You're there man. Cal in 20 years, I mean it's all funny. He gave me 86. You say that but I think it'd be so much, it would

be so funny if he's that old. You think it would be. You think it would be funny. I think, yeah. For one episode, it's gonna be real funny. That's a good idea. Twice a week, I'm gonna fucking hang myself off a bridge. You got good points. No, no. Brian's a very sprightly, very young guy. No, I know. No, I know.

He is. And until one day, you'll just be like, oh, wait, what's he talking about? Oh, wait, he's too old. Sena. He, you know what I mean? That's what happens. He'll be like Biden. But that's what happens with old guys.

Like the first three years, like not terrible. And then the last year, like, holy shit. That's gonna be Brian one day. He's gonna be in sweats. He's gonna be in sandals. I don't know, man. I always feel like with old guys, it happens really all of a sudden.

And you're like, all this trail off one day, talking about fucking, you know, houses. Nazis. And you're just like, what is he talking about? No houses are really, really no houses are eight stories. You know, what is he saying? Or, or they just start, and then, and then you're like, oh, it's, it's over for him. He's talking about eight story houses. Or it's like Larry King, where he's just farting.

Don't give a fuck. Just, well, that's kind of gangster though. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, but we're basically, we're talking about Eric, but I feel like Eric Fucking werewolf in 10 years if Brian's like 84 and they're still doing the podcast. He'll be like great news having another baby Oh, that's great. That's great. Oh man.

Uh, yeah, that is a great joke. I think so. I can't go out like that, bro. Eric sick. That is a great joke. Can't go out like that, bro. Eric's sick. He's sick. Yeah, he texts us about like 430 in the morning. Yeah. When you said swine flu, I said damn, we got swine flu.

Why? I don't get it. Am I dumb? They're just, they're trying to make another pandemic and knock us down again. I know that, but. Swine. You don't get it, Chris.

Is it racist? No. Bren, I don't want to say it. I don't get it. Am I dumb? Nevermind. It's all good. Okay.

Yeah, Eric's sick though. I don't get a lot of jokes a lot of the time. I don't get, sometimes I don't get simple jokes. I think, I think like, I I'm like advanced. No, I Think everybody no, I think that sometimes I'm just like Thinking too hard about it, which you know, I'm like you do it for a living. Yeah, maybe maybe so the easy ones I got I don't know. I guess I don't know or like maybe I'm like a little bit You know, I'm not trying to make fun of it

Maybe I'm like I'm a little bit on the spectrum or I'm like, well what the what are we doing here? You know, I mean You know, I mean People on the Always you were like wait a second. What's going on here with the fucking thing? What would it mean? I mean sense I make sense it you're like dude. I just made a dick joke I mean, sense of, I make sense of that. And you're like, dude, I just made a dick joke. And you're like, all right, all right. You're like Rain Man.

You're like Rain Man. Um, yeah, I don't know. Can you become on the spectrum or are you on the spectrum? Because I feel like- You've been on it for a hot second. But I feel like I'm getting- You've been on that ride since I've met you. I know, but I feel like I'm really, really like kind of really grown

accustomed to it and just getting involved. It's cause you don't know any different, dude. I'm really feel like I'm out. Like, like for instance, when I first met you, maybe I was like, you know, pulling in the ropes of the boat and then, uh, now I'm just kind of out at sea. Yeah. You're just cruising. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just live now. Yeah. It's just cruising. I'm just going to check it out. I'll be back. You know, and then just fucking fuck it. You know He screws it dude. I'm just gonna check it out, I'll be back. And then just fucking, fuck it.

Fuck it man. Nevermind. This is where I'm supposed to be. Is your brother on the spectrum too? Bro, you can't say too, you don't know if I am or not. But. To 110% you are. Matt, no I don't think Matt is, no.

No, nothing? No. Mm-mm. You know. I got a friend that came over the other day and he's on the spectrum, he knows. No, I don't think Matt is no no nothing mm-hmm. I You know I? Got a friend that came over The other day, and he's dead. He's on the spectrum. He knows he is and like how bad You know he's he's totally

He's a friend. I hang out with him all the time, so it's not like you know. It's not like he's like You know what I mean, but like He's oh you're always like, bro shut the fuck up. He doesn't have full blown downs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, bro. I assume that. He's not like this. But you do tell him to shut the fuck up a lot.

He's not like the kid from Mercury. No, I don't remember this movie of course. It's incredible. Really? This autistic child, like non-verbal, he'll bite you if you touch him. He's not like the kid from Mercury. No, I don't remember this movie, of course. It's incredible. This autistic child, like non-verbal, he'll bite you if you touch him. Oh, dude. No, you can't be hanging out with that dude. He figures out a secret code in the back of a coloring book that two NSIA agents put in as a joke. He calls the number, assassins come to kill him.

He hides, they kill his father. Bruce Willis protects the children. The child is arrested. That's my favorite movie and I haven't even seen it. It's so good. That's real autism. It sounds horrible. That's what I used to think of an autism.

Right, right, right. Now people are like, I don't think so. No, I know. Now people are like, I think I'm coming down with some autism. Dude. I thought autism was like Rain Man. Well, I was like, that'd be dope.

Yeah, same thing. You just count numbers and cheat the casinos? My buddy's annoying as fuck. He'll be like, Oh, that'd be dope. Yeah, same thing. You just count numbers and cheat the casinos. No, my buddy is annoying as fuck. Like he'll be like, Whoa, well, so what did you mean by that? Yeah. An hour ago and everything's literal. I'm kind of like that, but yeah, it's like that. You didn't have it done. Yeah. It's not a big deal. I'll get tested. It's hard to, it's hard to find it in adults though. I, I, I guess. I think it's just kind of like, uh, I don't even know if you need to go to the experts. It's kind of like, you adults though, I guess. I think it's just kind of like,

I don't even know if you need to go to the experts. It's kind of like, you know. I haven't? Yeah. You can't name the name of your friend? I think he's public about it. I'll tell you if he is. What's his name?

Rick Glassman? No. Oh yeah. Yeah, Rick's great though. No, he's one of my best friends, yeah. Yeah, Rick's great. He was over the other night and he was- We should have had him in here today. I love Rick. I was talking, I was talking, I was talking about, but he talks about it. No, yeah, he does. But I,

the reason why I said I, the reason why I didn't say his name, because I was going to talk about what he was talking about, but I didn't. And I'm not going to, so it's Rick, because I didn't want to share information that he was, you know what I'm saying? We were having a conversation. Yeah. No, he, yeah, he's, uh, I did a show a long, during the pandemic. That was great. Yeah. And he was all like weird about it. Yeah.

Um. Not that makes you have autism, but he, he talks about it. Yeah. Right. But like, like, you know, sometimes with a person that you are friends with that has autism, you, you, you, you, you, you're like, okay, this doesn't make me upset because this is

what he deals with and I'm sympathetic to it. For Rick it's a superpower. Well, yeah, cause he's funny. For Elon it's a superpower. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, true. Yeah. For some, yeah, some of that stuff. And if I have it, it's a superpower, I guess.

Right. For podcasting or something. Yeah, maybe. Super podcaster. I don't know, man. I, yeah, when I'm 65, I want to be doing some stand up and, uh, but yeah, you're right, I always thought like I'll be spending time with my kids, but I won't, I guess you'd be traveling with your wife.

You know, I don't know. That might be cool. That's what everybody says. Right. How did that mean? I don't like to travel now. I know, but, but my kids, but I won't. I guess you'd be traveling with your wife. You know, I don't know. That might be cool. That's what everybody says. Right. How does that mean? But I don't like to travel now. I know, but, but, but, but shit changes though. Doesn't it? No, I don't think so.

So say, so say you have no responsibilities. You have money, your kids are out of the house and you're married. You don't think that your ideas of what you might want to do change you like, like you'll just keep working or what you think you just keep working. I think so. If you're doing something. Cause when you stop working, kind of die.

I understand. But, but, but you gotta be doing something. I'm not just going to wake him up. I guess I'll fucking roam around the house today. I got, I got Joe Paterno coach for a hot second and died almost immediately. When? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be I guess. Yeah, Joe Paterno coach for a hot second. And died almost immediately when he stopped. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'd be doing something. There's a car, something. Hmm. Yeah, car. Yeah. Yeah, I'd be doing something. Working on something, but like hobbies count. We have to have a project.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, project. Right? Yeah. I think my wife's going to live to be a 110, dude. She's always working on something. Yeah, same. Yeah. But I almost thought that guy was like, oh, let's travel. No, I'm also not that guy who's like let's travel. No I'm not

either but whatever I don't know it's just oh yeah I'm speaking of traveling I'll be in Fresno Covina I'm doing Covina at Laugh Factor. Great club. You've done it right? Yeah great club. And San Luis Obispo for there? Yeah. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I think you did. It's great. And I did Brea. I got a bunch of dates, Denver, Santa Rosa, chrisley.com, Cheyenne, Wyoming. But I was in Brea the other night. Brea is great. Man, that place is awesome, dude. I love playing that place.

Yeah. Love it. I did four shows there. It's fun. Had Denny Love and Ken Flores. You know Ken? He's a cis comedian. He's a fucking killer. He's been doing it for like four years.

Oh, he's a killer, yeah. He's a beast. Yeah, he's great. I've seen him. Yeah, you've probably seen his shit. He looks funny. Yeah, he's funny. And then I saw another dude last night

at the Laugh Factory that was like, I mean, he had to be 20 fuck four? And his name is Griffin James. Griffin Eric. Yeah, Griffin James. And that guy's got a bright future, dude. He was a... Old beast.

He was, yeah, that's him right there. He was funny, man. I was, you don't normally see like real young dudes that are just... It wasn't even necessarily necessarily his stuff that he was saying was funny but it was it was just like oh the guy I don't know just the there's something about him yeah yeah anyway I love hearing that cuz like I look at like lineups at the comedy store I'm like there's either people I've

seen in a better for years yeah yeah nice to be years or... It's nice to be excited about someone. Yeah, no. It's nice to be excited about somebody and then most of them are in like Texas. Like y'all you hear about Texas, awesome, awesome. And I'm like, man, where's all the young kids in LA? They're out there. I said to him, I was like, where are you from? And he's like, here, Santa Monica.

I was like, oh wow, it was cool. It was interesting. Anyway, he's funny. I don't know if he has like bits online. I hope he doesn't because he's like young and like doing it right. Yeah. It seems like, but I don't think he's done it. He's only been doing it for like three years though. I think this is a huge test.

A sketch is like- Oh, true, true, true. Like what you put online. Well, that's true except for the fact that, except for the fact that you have some- They feel like pressure to do it. You kinda gotta do something, bro. Yeah, they're like, I have,

even if it's not their best like foot forward, like I gotta put something out. Otherwise I'm yet lost in the shuffle and which isn't true He said something last night. What the fuck was it? It was just like a funny idea and I was like that's a different way to think Fuck what was it? He was talking about a jacuzzi and getting into a jacuzzi. It was just silly. I don't know man It just made me laugh. It like tickled me, you know, yeah and getting into a jacuzzi. It was just silly. I don't know, man.

It just made me laugh. It like tickled me, you know? Yeah. Um, but yeah, this is the thing about, this is the thing about nowadays before we even get into this is like when you're young coming up, like, and you're going to be doing standup, obviously like, you know, we're past it, but like you, you, you, you're past it, but like, you're doing it for fucking three years and everyone's putting up clips

and your stuff's not that good, right? It's just not, it's just not. And these kids don't realize like they're happening with me. It's like, if you post a clip, remember they're seeing Delia's clip, Bill Burr's clip, Brian Callan's clip, Rogan's clip, Bill Burr's clip, Brian Callan's clip, Rogan's clip, Seguro's clip. They don't give a fuck if you've been doing it

for years. Yeah, true. Good point. So you're, if you're a new standup and you're on the stage with this laugh factory, it's the comedy store. People are like, comedy store? It's like, all right, you're same as those guys.

You put the clip out, you're going to be judged based off that. You know? But you feel pressure. I know. I know. I feel so much pressure. Well, now at this point, you can't make it if you didn't be judged based off that. Yeah. You know, but you feel pressure. I know. I know. I felt so much pressure. Well, now at this point, you can't make it if you don't have a big following online.

I know. So it's like, you kind of have to have a following, a big following too early or in a different way that you stand up. Or you have a headliner like you, like this young kid, you take him on the road. And so he doesn't have to worry about like building on his own. And hopefully get some of your fans. Yeah. And it gets time under his belt, stage time under his belt. Yeah. And then go. Yeah. That's what I'm doing with Danny. I mean, his stuff is like, you know,

I bring him on the road all the time. He's great. I think he's going to be a star. Yeah. And I just hope my crowd sees him and thinks, oh, I want to follow him. I mean, the guys, he's a star. Yeah, I mean, he'll make it, regardless he'll make it, whether it has to do with being on the road with me or whatever, obviously. But it's such an advantage to be on the road with you,

because then they're not feeling the stress of putting content out and finding their own way. Yeah, that's a good, you got a lot of good points today. Maybe we don't need Eric, huh? Yeah. I went through it, you know? Yeah. So there's only one way to learn is by going through it. So now with this young comics, young fighters, I'm like, bro, it is a marathon, not a sprint slow down.

You don't have to be like Theo. You don't have to be like Kristy Lee. You know how long, yeah, you're hanging out with them. You're not them. Right. Like they've, they've earned this. They've been there for 15, 20 years. You got it. You got it. You got to make sure even though you're hanging out with them. You're not them. Right. Like they've earned this, they've been there for 15, 20 years.

You gotta make sure, even though you're hanging out with them, you're on your own path. Like them take you on the road and get stage time before you introduce yourself. Right. Yeah, I remember when I started, I was like, cause I started in LA and I was like, I think I went to one of the, I went to a comedy store early at an open mic and I was like, I think I went to one of the, I think, I went to a comedy store early at

an open mic and I was like, I ate shit. And I was like, okay, I'm never showing my face at these clubs again until I really get some material under my belt and like, I feel good. And you know what? I'm going to, I waited until people were asking me to do it. And for me, that was the right move. So where would you get your reps in at? The Ha Ha Cafe. Yes. Which is an awesome place. Great. Ha Ha is an awesome place. Ice house, there's flappers.

But I would do, I would, I would do, you know, coffee shops. Yeah, I would do whatever. Yeah. Nah, it's, you know, that's why a lot of comics in New York have had, I don't know if it's still like that. I mean, I'm sure they still have a bunch of comics in New York have had, I don't know if it's still like that. I mean, I'm sure they still have a bunch of places to go up, but like they had the advantage for a while because there were so many spots. So many spots to get up. You know? I feel like there's like that in LA.

You just got to grind, man. Yeah, no, you do. I know you see all the stars with Laugh Factor. Go to the haha. Yeah. No, I was doing multiple spots tonight in LA, but I mean like in New York you do like five, six. And I don't know how it is in Austin now.

And there's other scenes too, like Chicago And all that and Austin's crazy like you there are shows in every really shotgun bar There's no one there, but no Derek Austin told me it's crazy. It's open mic. Yeah, you go You could go talk no Mike. That's awesome. Fuck. I still want to do that shit I still sometimes get like I want to do that shit. That'd be good content. You just showing up at open. Uh-huh Yeah, do a new material Did you get a following from like opening for Joe Koy cause you mentioned like Denny? Yeah, that's the thing No, he wasn't Joe Koy back then wasn't the Joe Koy we know he wasn't yeah He's I think Ari Manus is so funny and he's been opening for Theo for years. That's what I'm saying He's yeah What are you doing shit like what do you do? I think Ari Manus is so funny and he's been opening for Theo for years. That's what I'm saying. He crushes.

Get the dog, get the dog. Dog, dog. What are you doing? Shit? Damn. What did he do? That's fine. Shat.

Shat's better than piss. Yeah, it is actually. It's right next to me though. It's just smell amazing. Well, just pick it up with your bare hands. Yeah, I know. It is tough to build a following. It's just tough, but like, I feel like it's tougher now, but then there, there,

there's certain guys where I'm not saying Ari's this guy, but there's certain guys where it just never that like, they're just that guy, you know, he's so funny on stage. No, Ari's fucking hilarious. Ari's great. But, but it takes, it takes something so it's, it's's great. But it takes something so, it's not just, it takes something else to make you want to buy tickets to go see someone.

And I don't know what that is. Especially now, because now it's so competitive. Well now, yeah, it just gets harder, yeah. So it's like, how can you separate yourself from the rest of the pack, and you compete with monsters? Take the number one example, like, obviously, and I think it's hilarious, Matt Rife, but there's also something else about him that makes people want to go see him.

Dude, I think I have that too. You know what I mean? Like there are, there Theo has that, you know, like there's something else about just being funny that is, you know, that, that, that, that gets people to buy the fact. Yeah. I don't know if it's, yeah, maybe it is, but especially, especially now you need it more than ever. Yeah. I don't know. I don't. It's is this was but especially especially now you need it more than ever

Yeah, I don't know. I don't just it's hard to get people to come out. Oh, it's about stars It's not about stand-up anymore. You know, it's about you know, yeah anyway, that's strange New Year's resolution nothing with you and your girl Nick. I Actually had do everything I've been doing just better than I usually does Okay, this is dual Santana changes and also get more steps per day than I did last year 7200 Try get that ten thousand. Wow, if I want to beat last year, I'm actually a hundred behind I need sixty thousand steps the rest of the day. Well, okay. What's a lot of steps?

I'm going to a party in Santa Monica. I might walk from Silver Lake. Yeah, just walk there. Or walk from here. Where would you guys pee? Pee? Oh. Is a sink an option? Which?

Which? I'm sorry, is there a? I mean E5, just I go right to the dead center. Fuck you. Yeah, I go dead center. ask Stephen a Smith questions on his podcast Oh and I guess dude, I've always wondered what a hilarious response It depends though if it's in the middle of the night, I might go, you know e2 a million I'm going is there a d7 I go I hit the floor sometimes

Hmm, well, what is Stephen a Smith say? a D7, I go, I hit the floor sometimes. Hmm. Well, what does Stephen A Smith say? That's hilarious. The basketball. Damn it. I gotta get that. Five boys, where are you pulling up from? I mean, no fucking. I thought I had the link to the quote.

He shoots for three. I don't know, man. Hey. I don't really like when people make the joke. He shoots for three and I just did that You know, we're saying yeah from downtown. Yeah Why did I do it? Damn dude NBA Jam was this show was the shit we got out front there. I was fucking disgusting at it

I mean I fucking ruined to chung NFL blitz. You know play NFL blitz. Yeah, that was the game I was so far death jam. We we should play next week I have the 64 one time Chris quit the game I quit rakes off you and Eric was that double-oh-seven yeah yeah I know I know I wasn't that was not my shit it was really funny how you quit though well I don't know what happened and And then in the replay, you just see him press pause, go down to quit. Oh really? That's hilarious.

Oh man, that's crazy. It must have been something else. You're a sore loser, bud. No, no, I didn't complain about it. I just don't want to play. Blitz was the shit, dude. Perfect Dark was the shit. That was the.

Perfect Dark was the shit. They dark was the shit that was the perfect dark was the shit they killed it with that which yeah or or e2 I do sometimes I hit that b5 when you're peeing urinating I would tell you zone 5 and then when I really want to show he got a half a billion dollars from ESPN by the way What? Control that I have I'll venture out between three and seven just to circle around because I can But the answer to that question would be five. I never thought I'd be asked that question in my life You understand I'm saying I would tell you I would tell you from B to F and three to seven, focusing on five

whenever I choose to. That would be the answer to the question. Very unique question. At this... He broke it down like he's a goddamn... No he broke it down like it's a game. Yeah like it's a... wait that's so funny. I would I would pee on the cat right there. Dude what is the... Yeah I pissed right on that cat. Right. Is. Yeah. 13 G.

Yeah. H 15. Um, so what's the, so he has a pot, dude, what are people listening to? Like I, here's the thing. We started podcasting when it was just the wild west, you know? Yeah. It was just the bull.

And, and, and people were just like, what the fuck are these people talking about? This is hilarious. Comedians doing weird, like what is he talking? And then Hollywood was like- He's talking about pants for an hour. Like, but like, what the fuck are they watching? What the fuck is going on now? It's just like, it's like some chick-

It's oversaturated. Will just be like, oh fuck, dude. I gotta get a podcast. Yeah. And then they just talk about like chicks shit. I know I fucked this guy I want to fuck and I get it. Look I get it the What was the fucking big one with the two chicks and now it's the one chick. Call her daddy. It's great She's obviously a star. She's great But but beyond that it's like

What the fuck are they what's this? That's that this is the perfect example is it okay? I don't know I haven't seen this it was the number one podcast for a day because it's all based on new subscribers And they're all like she beat out Joe rogue. Yeah, like okay there I don't understand liberals were saying they have our Joe Rogan. Oh, this is Jason Kelsey's wife. Oh have R. Joe Rogan. Oh. This is Jason Kelsey's wife. Oh. Killer Swift's boyfriend's brother's wife. I remember. So she was hot for like. She was hot for like a day. I remember. Why did she beat it out? Because it was. Because of she's she's

unfiltered. Listen to all the stuff she talks about. Oh, okay. Hey guys, I'm Kylie Kelsey and I am so excited to introduce my new show, Not Gonna Lie. Believe it or not, it took me a while to land on that name. Some of the others we almost went with, The Kylie Kelsey Show, yet another Kelsey Show, Can I Be Honest, To Be Fair, TBH, TBFH, TBQFH, too many f***ing letters. But if you really want to know what this show is about, just know, I was this close to calling it F*** Around and Find Out, and I still might do it. Try me. Sorry. Back to this trailer. Listen, I'm just as shocked as all of you that I'm starting a

podcast, but if everyone's gonna be talking about me and my family, you might as well hear it from me. I'm not gonna lie, you're gonna hear my brutally honest opinions on motherhood. I'm not going to stop cursing in front of my kids. My kids hear the f-word on a daily basis. We're less than halfway. Should we keep going? Yeah, keep going. Yeah, that's true.

Quote, a grownup word. The biggest stories in sports and entertainment, the TV shot of Dak Prescott saying, we fucking suck. I was elated. Social media trends. We're gonna fuck around with some mom talks. We are not a sensory rice family.

You will not catch me doing sensory bins inside of my house. And I'm excited to be doing it with the help of some incredible guests that I have no business talking to. New episodes of Not Gonna Lie drop every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Check us out on our Not Gonna Lie YouTube channel to lie YouTube channel and follow us on all social platforms at NGL with Kylie. You guys said you wanted more Kylie.

And to that I say, fuck around and find out. Who said that? Cool song. She's beautiful. Yeah. She's cool. Fuck around and find out. Uh, so hold on.

You better Google. So hold on. She's married to fuck around and find out. Uh, bitch, you better, you better Google. So hold on. She's married to. Jason Kelsey, Jason Kelsey. And that's tired. He was a center for the Philadelphia. Okay. And they're brothers and they got shit, right?

They have their podcasts as well. And that's a big podcast. Yes. And so she's, I don't want to be shitty, but just the guy's wife. That's it. She does. It's not like she's like, got a, a fucking thing where she's like people have been demanding it She I think she's very expressive in the box seats

Okay So when this girl touch us that is yeah, that's pretty much exactly what I'm talking about Oh y'all been asking y'all about the fucker. I'm out. You're all oh, it's here's the bottom line If you listen to that and she seems sweet, but if you listen to that, that's on you. That's on you. It's like, it's like the view. Yeah. If you're listening to it, listen to it, know what it is. And, and that's fine. But if you're listening to somebody who doesn't, who isn't tried and true, who isn't, hasn't proven themselves, it's going to be, I would think it's

going to be a disappointment. Oh, no, this would be gotten in a year. No. So what happens is some, maybe he's with CAA or William Morris. Yeah, no, yeah. It was like, Cam came to her, it was like, Hey, we'll give you 500 grand a year to this podcast

once a week. You want to line up huge guests. She's like, what's a podcast? It's like, everybody's doing it. And she's like, okay, I just talked to him. Like, yeah, we'll give you notes. So she thinks that's podcast. And then a year goes by, she's like,

oh, this is a lot of work. I'm getting all this hate on the internet. And she's like, why don't you just go back to being a housewife? That's how that ends. I mean, she seems- More power to her. Yeah, she seems cool.

She's gorgeous. Yeah, she's really pretty. And she, but she seems like she is well put together and but yeah, she runs the house. Yeah. What? She looks like she runs the yeah, she does. Yeah. I just wish it would have been 13 minutes of possible names. Oh, yeah. So so so that came out. And when? A couple weeks ago, she was number one. She was number one. But it's not because she had more views than Rogan's because they do it by like new followers, like subscribers. So then she got Rogan.

People were like, yeah. I'm like Rogan's been number one for 15 years. So why would, but like who's subscribing to that? Like who, genuinely like who is doing that? Moms and guys? You know, you have friends that wore masks. Oh Slippery yeah, I mean you know I'm gonna fuck my mom like my mom podcast crush like some of those mom. Yeah, no no no

I dad those are those are great mom's gotta have something to fucking listen to like that. Yeah Like my wife don't listen to podcasts like that. What's this here? Not gonna lie. Wow, she had Taylor Swift, that's her first guest. She did? Oh, of course she did. This guy said circle back when she's at episode 100. Yeah, she had Taylor Swift at her.

It's not how good you can be, it's how long you can be good. So she had Taylor Swift as her first guest? Probably like a Colin. Right. But who's this? Taylor's like, who's this? But also she seems cool. So hopefully she does.

Yeah, she does seem cool. I wish, I wish her the best, but it's like podcasting used to be people fucking around and now it's a job. Do you know what I'm saying? We used to say wild shit, man. Oh my God, bro. We both censored ourselves and Rogan said stuff, Brian Brian a little bit because you know the algorithm and you know You don't want to say yeah, you don't want to say wow shit, dude

Yeah, I mean I just call like every girl a bitch even ones. I liked weird. I got a bitch cool, man I everyone's like yeah, well, it just sucks cuz you YouTube will take it off. You know, I mean, that's like Sucks like that, you know, but I still say, you know like retard and stuff sometimes but I think retards back Oh, is it? Yeah, especially if you have autism. Oh, yeah. Oh, I could yeah, let it fly it up Um, it's like find out you're 1% black, you know, mm-hmm. Let it fly. Um, well, yeah shit. Okay. Well fuck dude It's so weird. God damn it. Yeah. Podcasting is just, it used to be like this niche thing and guys would be able to, you know, fire off whatever they want. And then like Hollywood and the, the big executives were

like, Oh, people can make their hands and shit. People can make money doing this. And then it just became like, you know, like, like just normal radio or TV. Sucks. They just ruined it. Because you used to be- We had it, we had it right there, dude. Well, we had some great years, but then it's like, oh, Jason Bateman started a podcast. Like, what the fuck? Will Smith has one.

You're like, what in the fuck? I thought this was our thing. I love 2019, the show recap podcast. They had started with the Office Ladies, Jenna Fisher. Oh, dude. And then, but the Entourage won victory, recap podcast. They had started with the Office Ladies, Jenna Fisher. Oh dude. And then, but the Entourage won victory the podcast. I loved it. Okay.

Went to drinks with Kevin Connelly because I loved it so much. Nothing happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. You hooked up? Also Workaholics, they had a great recap podcast. Yeah. Okay.

I think Eric's been on. Uh. Shh, shh, yeah. Uh, hold on though. that's, I, I, People start podcasts and they're not about anything. I like the show. Yeah. Talking about the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool. I remember when I was like, doing my podcast and it was, you know, I was only doing congratulations

and like it was a big podcast and people were like, top, and you know, Theo and I were like neck and neck and it was like top 10 comedy podcasts that some magazine did and it was like Conan O'Brien. And I was like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, if I'm Conan, it's like, aren't you good, dog? But it was the first time he just started his podcast. And I'm like, what the fuck?

And then I was like, this sucks. Maybe not what it. I was like, this is so weird, dude. I don't want to do it. But then it was like Jason. You know what I'm talking about? These are podcasters? I know.

No? Yeah, then it was a weird thing, too, and people had asked advice on the road, like, oh, me and my buddy, we're funny, man. I'm a star podcast back then. They'd be like, yeah, fire away, dude. Now it's like, dude, if you're going to start a podcast, shooting your bro, just shooting from the hip, it's going to be tough these days. I don't know.

Yeah. It used to be tough. It used to be okay to shoot from the hip. Yeah, it used to be the thing. Because it was silly. And what is podcasting? We still shoot from the, it's all we do. We do, but we've been doing it.

I know. Uh, yeah. all we do. We do, but we've been doing it. I know. Uh, yeah. Um, wow. Yeah. It's like thinking about hosting an actual show sucks. I don't want to do that. No. I just want to bullshit.

I even hate having guests. Yeah, no, I, I don't have to, I never want to have to be with the bros. That's why we do it. It's not a job. I can't imagine. It's my social hour. I don't hang out outside this. True, true, yeah.

All right, well. Well, that's it. You missed me? What? Where'd you go? Bathroom, I had to pee. I didn't notice you were gone. A bunch of prisoners busted out of Mozambique prison.

That's in Africa? Yeah, 6,000 inmates. That's in Africa? Yeah. Six thousand inmates. That's not much. That's not much. It should be fine. Are we letting them in here? As citizens? Could you fucking imagine you're in Mozambique and you hear this happen?

Oh my god. Who's that? A prisoner? The protests started after Dana Chapo did something. This is nuts. Six thousand. Look at him, he's got handcuffs on. I know.

He said he's going home like this. Those are some real ass handcuffs, man. Those are thick. I was actually born disciplined. My friends made a revolution and freed me. Let's go home with this ****. But I will save the country. Oh my God. I want to save the country. Oh my God.

Oh. I watched... Lay low on Africa. Squid Game. Squid Game 2? I started it. I heard it's bullshit. No, it's good.

Is it good? Yeah. The first three, four episodes. I heard it's bullshit. No, it's good. Is it good? Yeah. Hey, when I said I heard it's bullshit, I saw one review on Twitter. Oh, I heard too. I saw first four episodes. They're good. They do a good job bringing it back, you know, because a lot of times you're like, what's

all this bullshit? It took too long. No, I totally agree. I'm out. I don't, I've, you spend two or three episodes being like, wait, what happened last step at the end? You know? It's too much.

Yeah, I agree. But once you get past it, yeah. It's cool the way they do it. Anyone else start it? I've kind of lost the desire for it. I was all into it. I can't wait for season two. And I'm like, fuck it.

They're just gonna play the game and die again. No, but it's about outside of the game for the first three. I don't like it. Yeah, but they do it good. Nah, I'm out. All right. Nah, I don't like it. Yeah, but they do it good. Nah, I'm out Guys a hater. No, I'm a real man. It took too long. They did take too long I got a show for you, but I like good shows and I know you like really shitty shows But you might dig this one shows. It's called from Have you seen it I went to season I got this season two and it's fucking so bad, bro.

Come on. Oh, come on. They're trying to be lost. It's what episode you're on? I'm on episode eight, season one. All right. Well, you said trying to be lost because the same black guy from it. No, I'm not. No, no. He's from lost.

They cast him because they were like, we're trying to make a loss. Let me tell you something, man. You get to the second season and you realize it's from Lost. They cast him because they were like, we're trying to make a loss. Let me tell you something, man. You get to the second season and you realize it's, although the same. Don't touch. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. You just realize what they're doing and you go, oh, this is.

Jigs up? There's no, no, there's no jig, dude. It's just, you know how Lost was like, I didn't watch Lost, no, no. All right, so I'm not gonna run it for you, but. Oh, you can, I know. But so Lost was like, so Lost. I didn't watch Lost, no, no. All right, so I'm not gonna ruin it for you, but. Oh, you can, I don't. But so Lost was this show where they started writing it and it certainly seems like they didn't know

what the plan was. They got lost. But they just kept writing, right? They got lost. For some reason, it made for a good show, okay? For some reason, they figured out how to do that, keep your attention. This show seems like it's doing that and it is absolutely not doing that it is not keeping your attention by season two

You're like this fucking way. Did you like season one of lost? No, no, no, no, no by the end of From the season one. I'm like This better be fucking doing something. It's so good. It's not in case you don't listen to the first three four episodes are good lit But it's not the only reason you think is lost to the same black guy That's not which I don't like for four letter word right there lost from From is a stupid fucking title dude, and you like the from is bad. I'll give you that probably does well What I heard about like from sounds stupid

That guy's a good actor. I'll give you that. Well, when I heard about him, I'm like, Frum sounds stupid. That guy's a good actor. I love, you know, there's some good acting in it. There really is. I just- You're still on the new Dexter, yeah? The pre-Dexter? Oh, you know what I'm doing?

I'm saving it. I saw the first episode and I'm gonna save it until it's all done. And then I'm gonna watch it all. Oh, see, I like- I'm gonna do it till it's lost. I like having a treat every Sunday night. Comes out on Fridays, but I save it for Sunday night.

Sunday night I got that. That's cool. I got Landman, and then I watch Original Dexter. So you have a bunch of different shows that you watch. That makes sense. I can't stand. I only have three. No, no, I know, but that's enough because I can't stand when you watch one and you're

like, oh, I want to watch another one and it's not out yet. But you have another show to go to. So that's cool. But I don't like binging anymore. I want to, but then you eat it all up and then you're like, all right, what next? And the studio's like, Jesus Christ, dude. Finished.

It's supposed to last you for four months. Make more. I want season one of a fucking show to be 80 episodes. Me too. Squid Game, keep going. No, no, stop Squid Game, I'm over it. No, the first season should still be on is what I'm saying. Lost was my favorite show.

I watched Lost. You won't get off Lost. I regret bringing you up from. No, but I watched Lost and just had such a blast watching it, man. It was on ABC, right? I don't know Yeah, it was. It's a fur hose. Well Just basic shit on ABC, NBC. I just loved watching it, bro. Whatever happened to that actor Matthew Fox? Whatever happened to him. Was it lost like the worst finale ever besides the Sopranos? Did they say that? It say that? It wasn't. They, everyone just says that. How do you sustain, how do you,

how do you make a good finale? Well, that's my same criticism on season eight. Everyone's hating on Game of Thrones season eight. I thought I was lit. You know what was a great show through and through is Breaking Bad though. They never fucking let up. It's good. Nah. It's good. Peaky Blinders is better.

Was this, appeared in several films including Emperor? I mean, look at all this shit. let up. It's good. Nah. It's good. Peaky Blinders is better. This is a period several films including Emperor. I mean, look at all this shit. Is that two? Look at this. Look what it was. Damn said he's in World War Z as a small rose, the para jumper. Okay. So we kind of fell off a little bit. Having enough money. They didn't include that. Pursuing pursuing personal interests, like writing a music. Okay. Yeah. So any made fucking. He definitely, he, he made, he was on two shows where he killed.

He was on Party of Five and then that. Also, Lost was how long? Oh God, he must have made so much money on Lost, yeah. And Residuals? They put him in a new show and they're like, what you got, Last? No, that's too close. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Last.

He made a turn of his, okay, all right, last night where he starred as Andy Yeats. He probably made so much money, he didn't have to do much shit, yeah, yeah. Last night. We made a turn of events. Okay, all right, last night where he starred as Andy Yeats. He probably made so much money, he didn't have to do much shit. Good for him. That's the goal. Wow, fuck, 14 years earlier. Yeah, that's cool, man.

Good for him, you know. Who's real quick, you think you're gonna stay up to midnight and watch the ball drop like some hoes? That guy, he's a good actor, though, this guy. You like him? Yeah, I do, he's a good actor though, this guy. You like him? Yeah, I do. He's good. He was fucking good in law. He's good. He's been part of five. What's so funny, dude? He could walk in right now and drop off our packages and I wouldn't know who it is.

Nah, I would. Are you the guy from X-Files? Nah. Man, that hit Nick hard. That's good. They're very similar shows. You the guy from X-Files, man? He was there. He was in one movie where he was so shredded. Look, go down. He's so shredded. Are you the guy from Mad Men? Look right there. Oh, he's on Healthy there. MMA? Yeah, I remember that movie. Jesus Christ. That's, that's why his tits like that. Okay. Look at that click that men's fitness. His face is long, man.

Cool. Long. Do you ever have a goal to be on men's fitness? I did. I could see it. No, no. Back in the day. Oh no.

I never, ever thought of that. Oh, I, I, they, they. They wanted me to be in it and I was like, I actually said no because it was- They want to show your legs? It was 2020 and it was during the pandemic and they were like, we want to know your workout at home. And I was like, oh, what is, what is, what do you want me to do? And they're like, just, can you film a bunch of shit?

I was like, oh, no, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do the work, yeah. Yeah. I know, I never cared about that. I always wanted to be on Men's Fitness and then magazines just aren't. See, I still love a good magazine. I just got my new street truck magazine.

Yeah, but the thing about, the problem with magazines is they just, they just want to star on the, on the, on the thing. And it's like, I mean, he's fit's fit right but they'll put like hey hey hey He shouldn't be on the front cover of men's fitness. I mean he's obviously done worth like fitness. He's a good thin guy. Yeah. Right just a few pull-ups but I used to men's fitness should be like real fucking. I should get that tattoo he has. Is that a lost tattoo. I don't know It's all the fucking it's like what's that girl about? I?

Gotta get more tattoos dude. I had a dream last night. I got a tattoo. I just remembering right now What was it it was pretty lit? I don't it came up like here. Oh god. No, it was look I want to get my face and shit Hell yeah, bro. Just yeah. Yeah, I want some more. It's just, you know, it's time consuming. I know. It's a beast. Well, you just have to sit for so long, yeah.

Whatever. We sit for so long doing this. But we could be getting tattooed right now. That'd be dope. Hey, Louis. I have, you gotta watch Lost, bro. No, man. It's not my thing.

I did say that about Game of Thrones for about eight years, then I got privy to it, and boy, it's good. I tried with Game of Thrones. Bro, you... Did you like Peaky Blinders? I saw only the first episode. Jesus Christ. I'm not saying it's bad.

It's better than Breaking Bad, any of that. All right, bro. Yeah. Breaking Bad is, it's, how did they do that show? How did they make it, bro? How did they do that? The actors, the writing? What? I didn't like the wife. She put on way too much weight during those seasons.

What a fucking asshole. And she's also a cunt. Like your man's working his ass off. In the show, yeah. Your man's working his ass off. All she does is bother him, fucks that other guy. Bro, that's just what a wifeunt. Like your man's working his ass off. In the show, yeah. Yeah, your man's working his ass off. All she does is bother him, fucks that other guy. Bro, that's just what a wife would do. She puts on all the weight.

That's just what a wife would do. By season four, you're like, Jesus Christ, I'm the same one. Bro, if I had a meth lab, a secret meth lab, Kristen would become a bitch and fuck another guy, okay? Like that's just what would happen. But even when she finds out, she's fucking that other guy. He's hustling his ass off, she's sucking dick on the side. The kid, how about the poor kid?

She makes him take that dope ass car back. Did that kid actually have a- Yeah, he did, I looked him up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He actually has a condition. Yeah, limited rolls, but that's cool. You got the roll. Yeah.

It's kind of like the small guy in Game's cool. You got the roll. Yeah. It's kind of like the small guy in Game of Thrones. You got the roll. I was watching Bad Santa the other day with the short person Midget. Can you say Midget? I don't even know. And my son was watching it with me, Calvin, and he said, how did they make that grown up into a boy? Just fucking straight up had a genuine question.

I said, that's what happens when you lie. Nice. See, my kids know. I feel like, okay, I said that joke on another podcast. I think that that's another, I think a comedian must have said that joke. You ever do I think that that's another, I think a comedian must have said that. You ever do a thing and you're like, dude, somebody must have said that. I've got a history of stand-up. Or podcasting too. Yeah, it's tough. I feel like I hurt.

Yeah, I know. Like somebody tweeted the other day, there's a perfect example of it, okay? I said this years ago. She, she tweeted, uh, in between Christmas and New Year's, it's the taint of the year. Or the taint of the holidays, right? I said that years ago. Somebody's like, she stole your thing. Bro, that's something you can think of.

For sure. I'm not gonna be like, you know what I mean? So it's like, every now and then you say something and you're like, did I fucking? And then they're gonna be like, you know what I mean? So it's like, but some every now and then you say something and you're like, did I fucking, and then they're like, Oh, you took that. You took that from the view. Whoopi Goldberg said, I'm not watching that man. Yeah. But I don't know. I was at the circus. Uh, it was like a Christmas carnival boys too. And the midget was the host.

He came out. He was like, ladies and Joan. I was like, okay, here we go. And tiger hit me. He goes, dad, don't laugh. Don't laugh. Oh, wow. You're telling me not to laugh. Could you imagine? Yeah, I can.

That would be fucking. Remember that sword you used to carry around? Yup. That was my last 15 minutes. It says Ella Cool J gets you fired up too. Just different cool articles in it. Dude, I- I was wondering why Nick hasn't contributed at all, dude. That was my last 15 minutes. It says Ella Kuja gets you fired up too. Just different cool articles in it. Dude, I-

I was wondering why Nick hasn't contributed at all, dude. Whenever he's doing fucking AI, it just takes a hot second for him. I would only do men's fitness if that, if I could do that. Wow. When I was in college, or even high school, men's fitness was the goal.

I wanted to be on men's fitness. Oh really? Oh yeah. How funny. Yeah. Men's fitness was the goal. I wanna be on men's fitness. Oh really? Oh yeah. How funny. Yeah. Men's fitness and road and track, those were my shit. Really? In sports illustrate.

Mine was being a comedian and then being a podcaster, which even though it didn't exist, I go, I hope there's a thing. I'm fucking whatever, you know? Whatever, bro. I got to remember it so bad. Anything else, Nicholas? there's a thing. Whatever bro. Anything else Nicholas? 10 more. All right. I got some stuff.

Will you stay up late anyways? Like I'll watch the ball drop. Pass 8.30 bro. I'll watch the ball drop in New York. Cause drops at 9. I'd like to not stay up, but I probably will. I'd like to go to bed before that.

I always think it's weird, the celebrities who aren't with their families, we're like, here we go, 10, nine. I'm like, go home. Who cares, they get paid. Do they? I don't know. I guess I don't know.

Probably not that much. But who cares though? Like New Year's, yeah, with your family New Year's, yeah, I get that. You? Like, uh, New Year's yeah, with your family, new years, yeah, I get that. You want to be with your family, new years. Although my, my, my wife just texted me. We're going to, uh, like my son was supposed to have baseball and they canceled it.

Cause like, oh, it's new years. I was baffled. The fuck they did. What? My son's supposed to have the baseball with these four other kids and this coach and they cancel it for New Year's. I was so frustrated.

Well, why would they cancel? Like, ah, I forgot it's New Year's, man. Oh, on the day, the first? Yeah. Like, who gives a fuck? People don't want to, people think, who gives a fuck? People treat that as like a real holiday

where they're like, we're not doing shit. Businesses take off. You're like, bro, I just want a hamburger, dude. And Hollywood would take off literally from December to the end of January. Yeah, I know, I know. It a hamburger, dude. And Hollywood had take off literally from December to the end of January. I know, I know. It's rough, yeah. And then complain about the jobs. Get to fucking work, bro. You guys aren't even working.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. I know a lot of, well, they end up talking about the entertainment business. Yes. It's insane. They're bullshit, yeah. Like, we'll get back to you in February. You're like, what are you doing for two months? Yeah. God, Hollywood really fucked up, huh?

They really fucked up with it. Drop the ball. Because now people can just do what they want on the internet, and Hollywood was gatekeeping, and they just fucking fucked it up. Dinosaurs. You know who called it? Tim Dillon. He called me four years ago.

I was having an issue with my agent. We had the same agent. And he was like, no this is gonna matter to him. In about two, four years, no this is gonna matter. They're gonna be gone, dude. You're not gonna need them. He's thinking about what do they do for him to deserve 10%. He's all going away. I've already started transitioning from it. Yeah. Hubris. Huh?

Hubris. Yeah, you risk huh hubris. Yeah Yeah And now you can get like lawyers on chat GBT like wait you can review this fucking contract pick up a little bit Yeah Oh, yeah, that's awesome What would you say you do? You know mmm What would you say you do?

You know? Well, I'm... Oh, God. So much AI. Ah, dude, I'm a fossil when it comes to that stuff. Yeah, same. I hate all that shit. I hate all that. I'm just getting... Maybe it's killing the motor. I just hate all of it. I hate the fucking AI. I hate fucking...

Uh-huh. The fucking this stuff. I hate the fucking AI, I hate fucking this stuff. I use AI to text my friends. I use chat GPT to text my friends. You do? Yeah, come up with something more interesting than this. Come up with something funny? No, no.

Sorry about your loss. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'll just be like, hey, what's the, you know. Create a text where, you know, to Brendan about how I love doing the podcast, I'll just send it bro. Fuck it. It's got two dashes and I would never use two dashes. But my other thing with why, why I don't gravitate towards chat GPT is cause it's not a human

input the data, how it's going to think. Right. Of course. So unlike you kind of bring up Trump or if you asked something about Columbus and it brought up like weird shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, I'm not using it. I'm out. But yeah, but it would turn me off. It'll figure it out.

You just got to know how to talk to you. You'd be like, say I'm an outright psycho. What would I think the truth is? Oh yeah. And then it'll tell you. You mean Brendan Shaw? I don't have to do that. But, but, but I'm saying.

You're saying know how to navigate. They think what we think is alt-right psycho. So then you make it. Oh, got it, got it, got it. You're like, if I was a crazy alt-right. But doesn't Grok or whatever on Twitter, they're not woke, right? Or they, I guess. They're not, it's honestly, a bunch of people post all the time,

well, they'll find examples of it being woke and they'll be like, Hey, Elon, and then he's like, oh, it's trained on, they blame chat GPT because they're like, it was trained on what chat GPT's output. But they tried to correct it. Yeah. I mean, that's annoying when it's like, I won't, they won't describe like a white person or whatever the hell. You're like, what?

Yeah. That's why I was like, I'm just not going to use it till they get the iron outs of this bullshit woke stuff in there. If I'm not for me. What are you writing in? It happened in the 2020 election with the results. Okay, so what'd you write? I said, if I'm an alt-right conspiracy theorist, what do I believe happened in the 2020 election with your results. I think if I was a psycho there might have been some ballot manipulation, technological tampons, media deep state movement. Interesting. So that's the way you do it huh? But if you wrote what if you wrote? It's just gonna be like you know.

But there's always, they always fuck around. That's the thing about it. What's that say? Oh yeah, okay. What are the results of the 2020 election? Fair. So you're just reading that. The fairness of 2020 US person election results

made it deeply polarized. Or as in debated. Here's an overview of arguments on both sides. Okay, I like that. Chat GPT with you. Yeah, I'd get arrested. Yeah. There's people on the way.

Freeze, you little one. How'd you get in here? If you're in England, yeah, you'd be fucking in handcuffs. That's interesting. And that's called Gronk. Grock. Grock. It's free on, using it to pay Twitter, but they have it free right now.

I don't know how long. But you have to use it on Twitter? You can't get a separate app for it? Yeah. You can get a separate app for it? No, you can't. It's on Twitter. I don't like that.

Why not? Because he wants me to stay off Twitter. That's cool. You know what? Twitter's actually the easiest one for me. I love it. Twitter's... I don't mind Twitter. Wow.

I'll be in Fresno. I'll be in San Luis Obispo, Covina, California. I got shows coming up at The Laugh Factory, coming out and see Chrisley.com, Santa Rosa, different spots. My mom and brother probably be at your show in Paramount. Let me know. Yeah, Denver. All right kids, that's it.

Love you. We're out. Thanks guys. Hey, it's Adam Carolla. And this is Dr. Drew. We're back doing our podcast three times a week, talking about current events, health news and more. So if you miss us on Loveline, check out the Adam and Dr. Drew show, new episodes, Wednesday

through Friday available wherever you find finer podcasts. I'm going to go ahead and get started. Music