The Golden Hour - Decoldest Christmas | The Golden Hour #60 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

The guys have a White Elephant Christmas exchange and talk Frosty The Snowman, wallet etiquette, Elf On A Shelf stories, best gifts they never got, Chris' hatred for the Cyber truck, Payless Shoes' Pa...lessi prank, favorite classic and Christmas movies, Christmas music, funniest football player names and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast MeUndies - https://www.meundies.com/goldenhour for 20% off plus free shipping DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code: GOLDEN

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hold on to your jingle bells. Pluto TV has all your holiday favorites for free. Enjoy Christmas classics like Scrooge with Bill Murray or Last Holiday with Queen Latifah. Plus, dive into festive channels like Holiday Movie Favorites by Lifetime or Hallmark Movies and more. Download the Pluto TV app on all your favorite devices and start streaming holiday favorites on live channels and on demand. With thousands of free movies and TV shows, Pluto TV is your home for the holidays. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. We're friends that laugh.
Starting point is 00:00:32 We're friends that shout. Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about, but that won't stop us. Nothing can stop us. Ooh, yeah It's like a show you used to love Just rebranded enough It's stronger, better, bigger power
Starting point is 00:00:54 Cause it is the golden hour It's the golden hour It's the most wonderful time of the year. There are jingles and jangles and pangles. No one knows the words to this song. I don't know. We're just waiting for Chin to come in. Yep.
Starting point is 00:01:21 I saw not many guitars in Christmas songs. No. Bell, a lot of bells. I hope it's Michael Bublé. A lot of bells. I will say I saw something on, since this is a Christmas episode, I saw something online. No, it was on the news, actually.
Starting point is 00:01:39 And it said that Frosty the Snowman Was a Transgender No Was a Was a song that How would you know? There are more likely
Starting point is 00:01:53 Well yeah Under his Thing He's got dick or ball You don't have a carrot under there More accidents You're prone Accident prone
Starting point is 00:02:02 They were saying In your car If you're listening to that You're more likely to get an accident accident if you listen to Frosty Snowman than if you're not. Really? I don't know. What kind of test thing it was?
Starting point is 00:02:10 The other one is good vibrations. Oh, yeah. Come on. Come on. Come on. Feel it. God, that song. That's a great song.
Starting point is 00:02:20 What a pull from there. What do you guys – do you guys ask for anything for Christmas? World peace. I think I'm going to get it. I hope you do. I ask for world peace every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed. To my wife, I say, baby, I hope we can have world peace.
Starting point is 00:02:37 You say a lot of things to your wife before you go to bed. It's exhausting. I have to do it a lot. Are you hoping for anything, Eric? It's grown, man. It's weird. I don't ask for anything. You know what I want?
Starting point is 00:02:46 Oh, can you get me a transmission I need for my car? Oh, you can't? Then move on. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you don't know what that is? Okay. You know what I got? What I want to get?
Starting point is 00:02:55 And I told her. But when you get older, it's like, hey, get me this. And they say, okay. Yeah, don't surprise me. Right. Oh! You know? You don't want to be doing that.
Starting point is 00:03:02 The thing I wanted! Yeah. But I... No, but even worse, when they do surprise you and you don't like it and you're just, oh. I want, I asked for a wallet. I need a new wallet. So I'm going to get that.
Starting point is 00:03:15 I know. Ooh, we're getting older. You need to get a. We're getting older. Asking for wallets for Christmas? Yeah, but it's a new wallet. I got to ask Rachel what the company is. It's Bright Green.
Starting point is 00:03:22 It's from Bodega Banana. Okay, now I kind of want one. I think this is a Bodega Banana wallet. I think. Oh, is. It's bright green. It's from Bodega Banana. Oh, okay. Now I kind of want one. This is a Bodega Banana wallet. I think. Oh, is it? I think so. It doesn't look like it. This is a great quality wallet.
Starting point is 00:03:31 There you go. On an infomercial. No, no, no. Rachel got this from me. Oh, so it's good. So it's definitely expensive. Yeah. My last wallet is awesome, but it's on its way out, bro.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Gucci. And the thing is, I know. Oh, yeah. You're the one with that stupid snake wallet. Yep. That's me, bro. I always think of that. Who's got the stupid snake Really
Starting point is 00:03:47 Yeah That's hilarious It seems It seems broken That's what you want It's really thick Why you got all that stuff There's a lot of cash
Starting point is 00:03:53 No no no there's not But I They're all ones Dude Why are you carrying all Like cars They're not ones I know they're not ones
Starting point is 00:04:00 They're not ones Oh my god They're not ones I was trying my God. They're not ones. I was trying to be, you know, I want people to identify with me and stuff, but you can't. It's the most wonderful times of the year. Dude, there's C-notes of 50s. So hold on. That's from playing at the improv.
Starting point is 00:04:22 That's all I have is hundreds of them. I know, I know, I know. Kristen got me this one like six, seven years ago, though, when we first started dating, and it was really cool. What's wrong with it, though? Oh, oh, oh. Somebody hit a spot last night. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:37 So you're getting a wallet? What are you going to ask for? Well, no, you know what's wrong with it is this had a- The snake's wearing off? Yeah, the snake's wearing off. And then also it had, and this is very interesting for everyone at home, but it had like an over sheen to it. It just completely came off.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Can you believe that? It just completely came off. I didn't believe that. It looks like a vintage wallet. It's dope. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to use this one too.
Starting point is 00:05:01 I'm going to have two wallets. My uncle has two wallets and he has one. He keeps them both in his. I hate that. Bro, he has two wallets because he has one with cash in it and cards and all the good stuff. And then he has another one in it with just singles and off credit cards. He doesn't really use it much. I say, why do you have two?
Starting point is 00:05:22 He says, for when he gets robbed. If somebody ever robs me, I give him this one. Yeah. Smart. Has he been robbed before? No. he says for when he gets robbed if somebody ever robs me I give him this one yeah smart has he been robbed before no how many times has he been robbed zero where it goes through his head
Starting point is 00:05:31 hey it's like having an assurance he's ready that's a real person but he's ready that's he's ready what are you gonna get Eric stay ready Chris
Starting point is 00:05:40 so you don't gotta get ready stay ready so you don't gotta get ready wow anything coming for you from Santa you've been a bad boy. No, if I wanted anything... That was kinky. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Right? Kinky Christmas? The outfit. Bad boy. Oh, man, that's hot. Bad, bad boy. It's so hot when you do that, too. I would want a day where I could just play video games and she don't come in and say anything to me. But do that for your birthday.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Yeah. Because you can't do it for Christmas. No, I can't do it for my birthday because my birthday is her birthday. Right. Yeah. Birthday. There needs to be. You know what? She's planning stuff for her. I know there. I guess Father's Day. No, but you're going to want to be with the kid. Exactly. Is there a steak and blowjob day? This is bullshit, bro, though.
Starting point is 00:06:21 There's not. You know what? There can't be. There isn't, my family. Is there? Who do you give a blowjob to? We got you there. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Nick, what are you doing for Christmas? Oh, I hate when people do that.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Yeah, do that. Oh, my God. It's like I like listening to the Sirius Sinatra. And I hate when they take an old classic song that you know how it's supposed to go, and they fucking change it. I hate that. I know. I know.
Starting point is 00:06:53 I know. Nicholas, Christmas plans? Crying by yourself? Going to Wisconsin. Going to hang out with my sisters, with my nephews. Do you get some fire-ass gifts or what? Well, over Thanksgiving, I told you my nephew started movies and more podcasts with Leo Kirshner.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Yep. Go check it out. I got in the car. My sister picked me up from the airport and I was like, oh, I got, I got Leo a bunch of extra podcast equipment. She's like, I did too. The kid got like $3,000 worth of equipment. He has a better setup than us.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Now we can have three podcasts like all of us. He's going to be going live. Yeah. It's going to be sick. Wow. That's funny. So he doesn't probably get anything. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:28 We're not at gift age. No, those days are over. It depends on the person. I mean, I feel like, I feel like Kristen's kind of bad shit. Well,
Starting point is 00:07:37 when it comes to Christmas. Yeah, so you probably have like, that's what I'm saying. So you had like the, this is probably full of like. We have one for you. Shit that you
Starting point is 00:07:45 yeah Rachel's got yeah and she just puts stuff in it like but isn't but isn't your wife's at this point they're like
Starting point is 00:07:54 listen I want this for Christmas like I'm not surprised yeah I hope so like my wife goes this is what I want for Christmas like you just buy it and wrap it that's what I hope for she wants a bag
Starting point is 00:08:02 that like we have to make an appointment to go talk to the people to look at it god making an appointment is hilarious to see a bag that we have to make an appointment to go talk to the people. Making an appointment is hilarious. She sent me a picture of the bag. First she called it a diaper bag. It's like an $8,000
Starting point is 00:08:17 bag. A diaper bag for $8,000 there better be actual shit in this bag. From a very high-acclaimed artist. Jason Derulo. Call back to last week. Open it up.
Starting point is 00:08:32 It goes, Jason Derulo. Ooh. That sounds good. It smells like shit, though. Yeah, so she wanted, like, you know. You're right, though, because this is what I want. And she's making it, like, you know, because it's so close to this. She's like, it's my push present.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Yeah, like, don't leave it up to me. I wait the last second. I'll rush into fucking Zales diamonds or something, get a fake jewelry. You're getting Zales?
Starting point is 00:08:52 Is that a real place? Zales, yeah. Zales is a real place. You can go in there, get it. It's just probably not the best. Rachel ain't going for that Zales.
Starting point is 00:08:59 She ain't going for that Zales. Oh, he has slippers. So you put this song on? What? You feel it, right? And then he comes in and messes it up but... What is this? One minute of Jason Derulo
Starting point is 00:09:13 singing his name. He has one slapper. His newest one was a slapper. They're at his house dancing by the pool. My kids love that. I don't know one Jason Derulo song. I probably would if it played. I know that song but I couldn't name you a Jason Derulo. He's the kind of artist you go that one Jason Derulo song. I probably would if it played. You would for sure. I know that song, but I couldn't name you a Jason Derulo. He's the kind of artist you go, that's Jason Derulo? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:31 But then he says, Jason Derulo, and you're like, oh, yeah. Oh, it is Jason Derulo. Yeah. Yeah, so I guess that's what I want is a wallet, and I don't know. That's such an old man gift. Well, because we're getting older. But it is an old man gift. You want the day off.
Starting point is 00:09:44 That's true. There's nothing more old man than that. You want a don't bother me day. I just want some peace and quiet. All I want. But you know what? Actually, by the way, with the purse, it was funny because she goes, I go, something happened. I go, okay, well, I'm taking $100 off the purse.
Starting point is 00:10:01 You know? Yeah. I was like, if you just leave me alone, you'll get it, you know? So there was a day I'm playing, and I was like, comes in it's hilarious and she hadn't come in and I texted I was like good job towards the purse and she was like funny obviously I'm gonna get her to purse of course yeah you know I mean I just say like they they when they that's funny they actually it's funny they when they really want something, right? Right.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Maybe they want some nonsense, and you'll be like, that's nonsense. Okay. Then they'll be like, ah, whatever. I don't really need this. But when they want something, it's like. They'll do whatever it takes. Then they talk about it. They'll be like, you know, but this one, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:40 So I just go, I got to get this first. But it's funny when she sent me the thing. You know, you send your picture of it. I hate when they send a picture because you're like, what? I'm supposed to look at this and be like, oh, no, no, no. Oh, shit. There was no info on it? No info.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Just a picture. This is it. I'm like, oh, what the fuck do I get this? Yeah, this looks like. I just ordered my own Christmas gift. I'm like, oh, it came. Look. How cool.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Yeah. If you want to wrap it, I guess. I think, though, you can't go wrong with, and you don't have to go fucking nuts nuts price wise but like you know jewelry's good like a bag is good oh the thing about bags are though they have to know about yeah yeah exactly also bags are kind of a good investment certain ones those birkins they hold their value but yeah but you can't like they're flipping you can't go get a bag and not have her be a part of that bag no no no i know yeah no no it's like getting sunglasses for a guy or some shit. You're like, oh.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Kind of, yeah. I don't know. Or shoes. Well, Eric will throw anything on his fucking face. If you got me prescription glasses, you didn't even know my prescription. They're not the right prescription? I just get, oh, thanks, Chris.
Starting point is 00:11:37 I got a headache. I got a headache. These are sweet. Whoa, whoa. These are dope, dude. Thank you. I look great. I'll deal with the headache.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Hey, Nick, why are you over here? Why would I? Yeah. Oh, do you tell your kids that Santa brought the gifts? Well, yeah. I keep it real. No, Santa didn't work his ass off telling dick jokes in Chicago to pay for these goddamn gifts. I mean, Calvin's going to be like, nothing's better than mom.
Starting point is 00:12:02 You know what I'm saying? See, I watch all her little videos. Yeah. All these videos. There was a cute one with you and your dad. Oh, the one where they made a puppet show?
Starting point is 00:12:10 That was really cute. Shout out to her YouTube, which is Cozy Robe Productions or something. I can't remember. She just came up with it, but it's Cozy Robe something. Oh, have you started Elf on the Shelf?
Starting point is 00:12:21 Yes. So, it's exhausting, but you got to get creative. It's so funny, bro. She, she, so you do it. Oh yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:12:29 I get into it. Oh, you do. I love it. So Kristen, so you know what it is. Okay. So Elf on the Shelf is. You're about to learn. Bro, it's crazy the way they branded this and marketed it.
Starting point is 00:12:39 It's just wild. So Elf on the Shelf is basically an elf that you get and you hide it every night. 30 days. 30 days. You hide it. You don't hide it or you put it out somewhere every night and they wake up they're like where is he today he flew around the house and like you know and so you write him notes and he he only comes if you're good yeah are you my kids are bad this sounds ridiculous you know what it's as ridiculous as santa or the Tooth Fairy. It's just another one of these things. Yeah, but at least you have to deal with Santa one night. Right, right, right, right, right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:08 All I heard was, this sounds like I got to get up at 2 o'clock in the morning and fucking move out. No, no, no, no. No, kids are crunk for it. Like, my son will rush downstairs and be like, where's the elf? Dude. And if he's bad, he's like, he's in the same spot. I'm like, yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:13:19 You know what you got to do? Kristen did this. She took the, you know, it's like this big, right? She took the elf. She put it in a cup like it was a glass that you could see through. do that kristen did this she took the you know it's like this big right she took the elf she put it in a cup like it was uh a glass that you could see through that was like it was a toilet and put hershey kisses under it in in the cup like he was taking a shit in the glass it's like oh he took a poop last night people get creative gotta do that like i wrap them in tortillas i'm like look they're
Starting point is 00:13:38 mexican okay well that's not like that creative Okay, so that's... Oh, my. That's a good one. God, dude. That's not... So you want to traumatize the kid? Traumatize the kid. Oh, dude, Calvin would... I don't even understand what he would do.
Starting point is 00:14:01 I would... Oh, my God. And the rule is if the kids touch the elf, they lose their magic and they don't get your gifts. I know, but we threw that out the window. Oh, not me. My son actually touched him. My littlest one was like, God damn it.
Starting point is 00:14:10 Yeah. When you're not around. Bro, Calvin, we – Kristen was – we didn't talk about it at first. She was like, yeah, and you can't touch him because then the magic goes away. And I'm like, that's too much for a friend. No, it's not. My kids know the rule. No, I understand.
Starting point is 00:14:22 But like I don't – at some point you're like, this is all lies. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's like Santa. Okay. Everyone's doing it. But like, there's so many, now there's another thing you got to be like, don't touch it. They can't fly around a room. It's like, what's the elf with the Santa?
Starting point is 00:14:36 I understand. But so, so, so he was like, I holding the, in the box and he was like, but you don't touch it. And he was like, but you don't touch it. And he kept saying that. And I'm like, he's saying that because he wants to touch it so bad. You know what I'm saying? And he's like, but we can't touch it because it'll lose its magic, right? There's a hole in the box that you can kind of like go around and touch it.
Starting point is 00:15:02 He would just be like, can I just put my finger in the hole and it will be okay with the magic? And I'm like, yeah, buddy. And he would just go like not touching it. He's like, I didn't touch it. All day long. And I'm like, babe, can we just tell him he can touch it? I'm not touching it. Can I put things in it?
Starting point is 00:15:20 He was putting things in. So now the elf's in there with a bunch of shit in there you know so finally he was he I I just said to him you know crystal was in the other room and I just said to him I said buddy none of this is real I said I said do you want to do you want to touch the elf and he said I would like to touch the elf and I was like it's okay if you touch the elf it's fine he'll still be magic and he was like he won't it won't ruin the magic and I was like, it's okay if you touch the elf. It's fine. He'll still be magic. And he was like, it won't ruin the magic? And I was like, no, that's okay.
Starting point is 00:15:48 And he said, okay. I took him off. Bro, this fucking thing. It's like he's, it's like my son is Arnold Schwarzenegger and the thing is Danny DeVito. You won't leave it alone.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Oh, really? Yeah. He loves it. He takes it everywhere. You can be sad when you don't get gifts because that's not how it works. The magic is gone? Yes, dude. You fucked it everywhere. He's going to be sad when he doesn't get gifts because that's not how it works. The magic is gone. Yes, dude.
Starting point is 00:16:06 You fucked it up. That's the secret society. You fucked it up. What if your kid could time jump real quick? So it's like Calvin's dealing with this elf thing. And then he could be like 19 like this. Can you just imagine the conversation? Instantly he becomes 19 and has a 19
Starting point is 00:16:26 year old. He'd be like, what? Stupid shit. You're fucking lying to me. They could do that? It's just amazing how the brain works. The Santa one, especially when the kids get smart, he's like, wait, how's the Santa get around so fast all over the world? He gets man. What kind of engine
Starting point is 00:16:41 is it? Because he's in the cars. I'm like, I don't know. Dude, I don't fucking... It know, dude. I don't fucking, it's a heavy. I don't fucking know. It's magic, asshole. When is that age? Tiger's right about there.
Starting point is 00:16:53 He's like, hold on. How's he going to fit down our chimney? I'm like, that's the thing. But then you're going to have a thing where you're like, you guys are going to have an inside thing. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:01 Don't tell your brother. Don't ruin it for your brother. Which he'll definitely ruin it for. When you're not around, just like a a like a being mean you know what else yeah santa's not real and he hates you people would tell me bro i wrote so hard for santa people would tell me like oh you know it's not real mama told me i was like your mom's a fucking lying ass hoe yeah i'm straight up 10 years old i was like i'll believe in i in it. I don't give a fuck. I got old. But you guys do gifts from Santa and then gifts from mom and dad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:29 I do one from Santa. The rest are from daddy. Got it. Yeah. When I was a kid, every gift was from Santa. That's bullshit. Yeah. I don't even remember that.
Starting point is 00:17:37 That's trash. My mom worked too hard to be dealing with that shit. You're saying? Because I was the only child single parent. Yeah. She don't got time to... Break it down. No, hell no. I'm with your mom. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:17:48 I just had gifts. Oh. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of... It is kind of weird to pretend. I don't remember... What I'm saying is I don't remember the moment where I was like... Vibing.
Starting point is 00:17:58 You knew your parents were doing this for you. Uh-huh. Like, what's that moment? I remember. I don't remember that moment. I was 18. I remember. I was older. I was 18 I remember I was older
Starting point is 00:18:05 But that was the first time He could afford a gift Yeah What's the best gift You guys got Do you remember as a kid God Oh race car track
Starting point is 00:18:14 Oh yeah But the kind of The one where you know You have the controller Yeah Those They always fall off Yeah we try to do
Starting point is 00:18:22 Like dumb shit Yeah remote control cars Were the shit Oh they were the shit You know You charge them for nine hours And they work for five minutes Yes
Starting point is 00:18:29 Fuck that dude Right Those Man that might be a good gift For my kiddos Yeah Like that's My kids would love that
Starting point is 00:18:36 That is good That's what I'm gonna get That's the thing The toys are so much better now You don't think about it They're way better They don't fall off I'm getting this for me
Starting point is 00:18:43 For all this What is this Top Turbo That's exactly what I'm gonna get My kiddos Oh I hope they don't think about it they're way better they don't fall off i'm getting this from me what is this top that's exactly i'm gonna get my kiddos oh i hope they don't watch this me too yeah for most reasons yeah like dad says bitch a lot was there ever a gift that you dad what's vibing that you didn't get but i would get this kind of shit where do i begin oh that's funny i remember she'd get this and i wouldn't have the not have batteries where do I begin oh that's funny I remember what'd you say she would get this and I wouldn't have the batteries
Starting point is 00:19:07 I remember when I was a kid when I had the idea where I was like wait a minute Santa brings all the toys Santa makes all the toys why are they in the fucking boxes
Starting point is 00:19:19 at the toy store boom and I was like oh yeah Santa can make the toys I started putting stuff on my list that were things that I invented yeah cause i was like have santa make me a fucking remote control helicopter dude this they weren't around back then i was like have him do that now imagine the so like you're and then your logic in your head is like you have an attitude about it yeah
Starting point is 00:19:39 when it's so simple yeah it's just your parents are being like, yeah, there's no Santa. Yeah. Yeah. And you're getting mad. Yeah. Have him make this for me. Have him make me a Bill Murray doll. He could do it.
Starting point is 00:19:54 He's got a whole workshop with fucking elves. Where is it? Where is it, mom? Your parents are struggling to find it. I got to steal this shit from Mattel. Where's the fucking? And that's when your parents have to go, okay.
Starting point is 00:20:09 We tried. Santa's not real. Oh, isn't that convenient? You just don't let it go. Santa's fucking real. Oh, there you go. Ghostbusters. There you go. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:20:24 My kid wants one of those Drivable cars for the kids They're expensive man Mercedes I want that as a kid I want it so bad My parents are like You got your god damn mind
Starting point is 00:20:33 Did they have those Oh you mean just like The left Yeah Toys R Us They're like $600 Back in the day Fuck off
Starting point is 00:20:39 I love seeing those videos Of kids Running over other kids Oh man With that car I don't think I've seen that But that's hysterical You haven't seen that one It was a great The girl I love seeing those videos of kids running over other kids with that car. I don't think I've seen that, but that's hysterical. You haven't seen that one?
Starting point is 00:20:48 It was great. Because you know they're not that hurt. Yeah, she just runs over the little girl. You got to see that. Yeah, he wants a TRX like that, so it looks like mine. They're tough to find. Oh, yeah. You know what?
Starting point is 00:21:03 This isn't even one. I haven't seen this one. Boom, bitch. Oh. That's what I'm saying, yeah. You know what? This isn't even a one. I haven't seen this one. Boom, bitch. Oh. That's what I'm saying, dude. That kid got hurt. Those six are dangerous. And you know what's crazy? That kid might be dead.
Starting point is 00:21:12 You know what's crazy? Is that kid went to do that. Oh, yeah. The kid was like, oh, I... Yeah, why is that kid a good driver? She's the one. I gotta gear up on this shit and doing the noise yeah
Starting point is 00:21:40 you know what speaking of cars I saw I put on my story I saw a cyber truck in person have you seen is that what they're called the cyber truck tesla yeah the batteries cyber truck yeah cyber truck have you seen one in person no they look ridiculous have you seen one in person no they look cool or what so okay it can't look cool it looks like a delorean no it looks like my son drew it so i i actually thought they looked cool online. I was like, you know what? Obviously, it's going to get hated, Elon and shit.
Starting point is 00:22:11 But I was like, I think these kind of look cool. I saw it in person. It looks terrible. It looks fucking terrible. I clown them all the time. And what's weird is I love Elon. I hate Tesla. I clown him all the time. And what's weird is I love Elon. I love Elon. I hate Tesla. I can't stand Tesla.
Starting point is 00:22:28 And the Cybertruck, as much as I want to hate on it, the performance is nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't like Teslas because to me, I know most cars are, but to me, it looks like they're just made on a factory line. It just looks like- I don't like the culture around Tesla.
Starting point is 00:22:42 I like the people that drive Tesla. But that's not his fault. It is, though. Elon, do you think? I wouldn't sell the culture around Tesla. I like the people that drive Tesla. But that's not his fault. It is, though. Elon, do you think? I wouldn't sell it to Cucks. Anyway, so here it looks cool. If you were on the moon, this would look great. I think this looks kind of cool.
Starting point is 00:22:58 But, bro, if you see it in person, first of all, it's very awkward. It's so long, bro. That's what she said. And it is so sharp. Like the edges, it's like you could back up four miles an hour. You'd kill somebody. Yeah. It's so, you're hemorrhaging and shit.
Starting point is 00:23:18 You know how heavy that thing is? Like Elon's like, it's bulletproof and arrowproof. You're like, okay. Yeah. What am I supposed to do with that? I don't know, man. I guess that helps. I was like, this is the fucking Cybertruck?
Starting point is 00:23:30 Why? Performance-wise, it's not hard. Well, yeah, I get it. I get it. You're still not faster than my car. All right. You guys went for a ride, man. You guys are so scary.
Starting point is 00:23:38 It was scary. It's violent. That Tesla, it would beat your car. No, no, no. Not zero to 60. Probably a quarter mile. Not zero to 60. Probably a quarter mile. Not zero to 60. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Well, that car beat a car while towing that car. Yeah, yeah. I don't even know if that was real. I think those videos are fake. I was about to say. It can't be real. No, they're real. I just like to say they're fake because it riles people up.
Starting point is 00:23:59 Well, the Lucid Sapphire, it beat a Bugatti. I don't even know what that is. I know Lucid, but I don't know Sapphire. I don't think with electric, it's like, I can microwave you a filet if you want. But it's $240,000. I can microwave you a filet. Or would you rather have it slow grilled? It's $240,000.
Starting point is 00:24:14 This car? Yeah. That Lucid. The highest version of the car. So this car, so let me see the front of it. The thing I don't get about this kind of car is, now, it kind of looks like your car a little bit, right? Yeah, very similar. They're like race ready.
Starting point is 00:24:28 But your car's a nice car. But this car, for $240,000? I'm with you. It should look way cooler. Yeah, I agree. It's 1,200 horsepower. Well, here's the thing, too. The lesser version, so I have a Lucid Touring.
Starting point is 00:24:44 So there's one that's called Lucid Air. And that one's like $70-something thousand dollars, right? But it doesn't have any of the nooks and crannies. Sure, yeah. So my thing is like, go get like the higher version. Go get a $70,000 Chevy Blazer. Yeah, I agree. It has everything on it.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But don't get like the shit model of the expensive car. Right, right. But that's what you got? No, I got the middle model. No, you got the good one. I got the middle. Got it.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Yeah. And the middle and the other one, they're very similar. The only difference is the battery. Okay. I just don't like their culture around it. I don't like Newsom. They came out with another thing today. Like by 2032, we're going to stop selling combustion engines.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Real cars? Yeah. It's like, well, it's not up to you, bitch. Like anytime they force it on me, that's when America's, it's in our blood to go, no, no. I understand that, except for some states are going to be able to do it. Like what? Well, I mean, I'm saying some states, like California might be one of them.
Starting point is 00:25:37 They're not because we don't have the infrastructure for all the electric, the grid and all that shit. Right, no, not yet. So they think, but it's like I'm 2035. They're still not going to be ready. And all the people, like all the great people that build parts for combustion engines, what happens to all those American-made companies? Yeah, but they're saying by 2035 here.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Yeah, but photomats, what happened to all those great people? What's that? Exactly. I don't even know what it is. I know that's a joke, but what is it? Yeah, I'm just saying there was the places that they- Oh, photomat, got it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Like, you know, they don't do that anymore. Right. was a place that they... Oh, Photomat, got it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, they don't do that anymore. Right. All the people that, you know, it's like, it happens. You know, businesses, you have to evolve. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:11 I just think that... But we're not evolving for the better, is my thing. Well... Like, that thing was better. I mean, there are... Electric cars aren't better. Right, I understand,
Starting point is 00:26:19 but also, they're going to argue that they are. Yeah. There's no argument, especially if you look into it. Now, if you prefer it... Vibing me, yeah. No, if you prefer it... Yeah, There's no argument, especially if you look into it. Now, if you prefer it. Vibing me.
Starting point is 00:26:27 No. Yeah, I know. But if you say you look into it, you say that's vibing. But yeah. Yeah, sure. If you prefer it, do your thing. But when they force it on you, that's when the issue. I understand.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Yeah. Because it's better for the environment? Not true. No, I know. Right, right, right. Do you stop at red lights? What? Do you stop at red lights when you drive?
Starting point is 00:26:42 I live my life one quarter mile at a time. I do most of the time. Why? Because they force that on you. It's called laws, and you have to follow them. I got you. Well, there's laws. I stop.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Speed limits, too. But electric car is not a law. I stop. They're trying to make it a law. That's the issue. Saying it's better for the environment. I stop. I don't think that they're saying it's better for the environment.
Starting point is 00:27:01 That was their initial push. I'm not going to finish that sentence, and nobody will ever get to hear it. No, it's okay. It wasn't really that interesting. No, it's better. That was their initial push. I'm not going to finish that sentence and nobody will ever get to hear it. No, it's okay. It wasn't really that interesting. No, it's okay. No, it wasn't your fault. I kind of bitched out on it nine times and I'm done. So I'm tired of you getting mad at us.
Starting point is 00:27:11 No, I'm not mad. Because you got bitch ideas. I'm not mad. Stop with your bitch ideas. I understand. And then he gets mad. This is what he does. He goes, you know what?
Starting point is 00:27:18 Fuck it. You guys. You're on the joke. But what you're misunderstanding is it wasn't for this. I'm not mad at you. I understand. I accept it. It was a bitch idea.
Starting point is 00:27:30 I didn't get it out in time. Yeah. And it's all good. I washed my hands of it. Get it out next time. I know. I get it. It's a learning moment.
Starting point is 00:27:36 And I'm not saying it's a teaching moment for you guys. It's a learning moment for me. No, we taught you. No, no, no. Not to be a bitch. But you didn't say anything. I taught it myself. It was an internal thing, and I'm washing my hands of it.
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Starting point is 00:30:28 21-plus age varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus bets expire 180 hours after issuance. CDKNG.com slash football for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources. Do you know what they really need to be making, man? I think, first of all, I was talking to an engineer. Biodome 2.
Starting point is 00:30:47 No, no. Maybe it was. Oh, I'd watch that. I mean, I knew I'd get Nick with that. So I knew I'd get Nick with that. Nick's laughing so hard. But I was talking to an engineer, and the problem with the electric batteries right now, he compared it to the batteries that we have now are like tube televisions.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Right, right. And 4K TVs are about to come out. Right. But they're selling all these tube TVs and the new technology. It'll get way better, yeah. Yeah, in like five years, the cars will go 800 miles. Right. An hour. But what should happen, though, is that they should be like gas,
Starting point is 00:31:15 like the hybrids. I think hybrid cars will probably be able to go 1,500 miles if they make them like that. Yeah, yeah. So the issue is not just about electric cars and the environment. The issue, too, is that the gas people suck. What do you mean? Make better technology.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Stop doing 50 miles a gallon. Let's get 150 miles a gallon. That's the issue. The issue is with high-powered cars, they need a ton of fuel so they get bad gas miles. There's nothing you can do to combat that. That's why they're getting rid of them. If you're a pussy.
Starting point is 00:31:47 No, yeah, it's something. My whole gripe with electric cars is they pretty much all look horrendous. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Like your car's a nice car.
Starting point is 00:31:58 There's nothing flashy about it and that's fine. I don't want flashy. I know you don't. If you want. And they should make those cars look like that's fine. I don't want flashing. I know you don't. If you want. And they should make those cars look like that and nice. They should make nice cars.
Starting point is 00:32:10 You buy a fucking Lincoln version of that, whatever it is, not electric. It looks like a nice car. But then you should get – they should make the cool ones. Look at what's coming, though, man. They're coming. It is. They do. Electric escalade.
Starting point is 00:32:25 I would buy an electric car. I almost wanted... They look like... The Hummer. That looks... Dude, I just saw one of those on the road the other day. Those look crazy weird. So unreliable.
Starting point is 00:32:35 Well, but even now? Right now. Horrible reliability. Number one most unreliable car on the road, Tesla. Now, they're going to figure that out. It is? It's just like any... Yeah, because there's so many on the road. They're going to figure that out. It is? It's just like any, yeah, because there's so many on the road.
Starting point is 00:32:46 They're going to figure that out. I wanted one of these. They're expensive. This is electric. How about some price of yours? RIP, but he was going to hook me up. But now they're not as expensive. It was like a gold rush.
Starting point is 00:32:57 People wanted to get it. That's how they always go. That looks cool. Yeah, these are cool. But check out the electric Escalade that's coming out in 2025. It's electric Escalade. Car talk. Just car talk with guys,'s electric Escalade. Car talk. Just car talk with guys, you know?
Starting point is 00:33:08 Just guys doing car talk. I like it, man. That's cool looking. Yeah, but they got that. That's cool looking. There's a lot of them like that. All the companies are coming out with their, like Jaguar, like all the Land Rovers. They never made a good car, bro.
Starting point is 00:33:18 I know, but Land Rovers are going to be a... Land Rovers are dope. Land Rovers isn't Jaguar, though. It is the same company. Oh, it is? Yeah, Land Rover, Jaguar. That's why my goal for 2024 is to get the last hot rod ever made in America. Dodged it once.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Well, now you fucked yourself because everyone who hears this is going to try and get it. Good luck. There's only 3,000 of them. It comes with 1,030 horsepower. 0-60 in 1.3 seconds. I can do that. I can go really fast. It's the last hot rod ever made.
Starting point is 00:33:44 Well, I don't know. I know you guys aren't car guys. Is this my kid? I feel like... What chance he looks like that? I feel like... Have you seen the Ferrari SUV coming out? Yes.
Starting point is 00:33:58 It looks just like the Mazda. You ever seen the comparison? It's not, though. You know what I saw today? Drake said, have you ever seen this Toyota that looks like's not, though. Oh, you know what I saw today? Drake had a Ferrari. Drake said, have you ever seen this Toyota that looks like a Rolls Royce? Are they out already? Yes. It's only in Japan.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Let me see the Mazda Ferrari one. That's the side-by-side one. Compare the Mazda and Ferrari. But you know it's not like that. Though it's the Mazda, just do that and put our internals in it. But the Ferrari. Click on the, you see where it's gray and red? Oh, yeah, yeah, right there.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Same car. Nah, bro, come on. That's not very similar. It's like Corvette and a Ferrari 488. And we're getting heavy here, but you guys are feeling it. Yeah, but dude, this is just like sneakers. You say sneakers? Sneakers.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Sneakers. Like you could have like a Jordan can be on one sneaker and Payless can be on the other. They look exactly the same. Do you guys see that prank that they did at a Payless store where they had influencers come and they just had Payless shoes? They fixed the store up and were like... Yes, dude.
Starting point is 00:34:53 That was funny, bro. That's because people think like him. They think like, you know, it's like, oh, that looks the same, so I'm not going to get it. Or you're going to be like, that looks good. I'm an idiot. And I'm going to get it. I am.
Starting point is 00:35:02 I will say this. I am a sucker for... We all are. Yeah. For what? Like, if I know something's a little bit more expensive, I'll think it's nicer. Me too. For no reason.
Starting point is 00:35:12 That's how we're built. They did that with wine, too. They gave the cheapest wine the most expensive, said this one's the most expensive. Dude, I say this all the time. Dude, if you walk down the street with a television, nice 4K TV... Which I do all the time. You couldn't give it away. If I was like, hey, you want your free TV?
Starting point is 00:35:26 Hell yeah, I'll take it. What's up with this? Isn't that weird? But if I'm sitting on the side in front of a house with a bunch of stuff and I go, $300 4K TV and we're moving. We're just trying to get rid of this. All of a sudden, it'd be like, ooh, only $300. Isn't that weird? It's a weird thing.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Yeah, but all these idiots thought that these were great shoes. They called it Palasi. No. Did they? Yeah. They called it Palasi. No. Did they? Yeah. That's funny. Yeah. And they're all talking like, you know, I feel the quality.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Right. I remember. I saw it. I feel the quality. And it's just like that quality. I saw God. Oh, my God. Well, that's why the car companies did this anyway.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Did what? So you had Toyota. And they were like, man, people aren't spending a lot of money on Toyotas. Let's make a new brand. and we'll call it Lexus. And then idiots will be like, well, Lexus is better than Toyota. It's like, no, they're the fucking same car. Exact same. It's the same car.
Starting point is 00:36:15 Are they the exact same? Exactly. Check that out at Toyota. Take my money. Take my money, Lexus. That thing's only in Japan, though, right? Well, it's called CarWow, so yes. What is that? It is, yeah. I remember reading about it. Yeah, it's dope. CarWow. Only only in Japan, though, right? Well, it's called CarWow, so yes. What is that?
Starting point is 00:36:25 It is, yeah. I remember reading about it. Yeah, it's dope. CarWow? Only available in Japan. It's like 100 grand, but it's sick. Japan does that. They just put wow on here.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go to McDonald's, it's the Big Mac Wow. The Wow Mac. Let's see what this guy's got to say. Christmas. Merry Christmas. What's up, Golden Hour crew? Don't mind the hair or the frizz.
Starting point is 00:36:46 You look fine, bro. It is what it is. Got a debate club for you guys. What movie have you not seen that would make people mad? Oh, dude. Personally, anytime somebody asks me if I've seen The Godfather, and I say no, all hell breaks loose. It's fucking crazy and it's like one movie my
Starting point is 00:37:08 girl has seen besides every other movie i asked her oh have you seen fight club no or have you seen you know any other movie she never she never watches it the one movie she watched godfather i haven't seen unfortunately i've seen clips of it that's weird yeah but i haven't seen it from front to back sorry guys but anyway, what movie have you not seen that people just can't stand that you haven't seen? Oh, bro. All the Avengers. No seen Endgame. Yeah, but those haven't been out long enough, though.
Starting point is 00:37:36 That's not a good one yet. The Endgame? Isn't that a major movie for the Marvel news? I think they're talking about Godfather is one of them. Like Schindler's List, Shawshank. Fight Club is one of them. Shawsh Godfather is one of them. Schindler's List, Shawshank. Fight Club is one of them. Shawshank would be one of them. I don't think Schindler's List is one, but Fight Club would be one of them.
Starting point is 00:37:51 I don't think Schindler's List is one. I don't think that's one that you haven't seen. Gladiator. It's so heavy. I've never seen Schindler's List. Gladiator. Gladiator is one. 300.
Starting point is 00:38:00 300. Oh, that's close. I don't know. I have one that's new. Braveheart? I have one that's new. Braveheart? I have one that's new. Oh, yeah, Braveheart. I have one that's newer that I think is like this,
Starting point is 00:38:12 but it's not the test of time. But every time I say I haven't seen this movie, people lose their fucking minds. Can I guess? I don't think you will, but okay. Oh, you said it's a newer movie? Oh, my other one I was thinking of is Sixth Sense. That's another one.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. No, this one's even newer than that. You said new. That's what I remember. What Women Want. Nope. I have seen that.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Bio Dome. No, no, no. Near Heads. No, I'll just tell you. We don't want you to guess for the rest of the show. Step Brothers. People lose their minds when I have a CD. I've just never seen it. It's so good. See? I haven't seen it I've just never seen it
Starting point is 00:38:45 See I haven't set it up You know what though But there's a series It's frustrating There's a series of those Like wedding crashers Oh you know what's the one
Starting point is 00:38:53 What's the one with Hangover Yeah hangover Hangover's one of those Or the other one With the You know their What's the one
Starting point is 00:39:00 I hate I never remember Talladega Nights No it's the same people That make the hangover Hangover wedding crashers? Not for 40-year-olds. Wedding crashers?
Starting point is 00:39:08 No, no, no. I said wedding crashers. Best friends, fun guys. No, they're young. They're in high school, and they're super bad. Super bad is the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, never seen Super Bad.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Never seen Step Brothers. Oh. Super Bad is like, look at them doing the thing. I set it up. Super Bad's not my movie. Bro, I don't like comedies, bro. I love high school comedies. My whole life is comedy, bro, I don't like comedies, bro. I love high school movies. My whole life is comedy, bro.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Why do you like comedies? When I go at home, I'm following up jokes. Everyone's laughing. I get Kristen. I get Calvin. Even Billy's starting to laugh, dude. I get all the shit going. So you're good.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Bro, when I want to sit down, I want to sit down. I want to watch some seriously fucked up horrific shit. You want to watch Lamb? I want to watch Lamb. I want to watch Bro. I saw this movie called Silence of the Lambs. Oh, to watch Lamb? I want to watch Lamb. I want to watch Bro. I saw this movie called... Silence of the Lambs is another one. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:39:48 Hey, I never saw Black Panther. You never seen Silence of the Lambs? Yeah, I have. Oh, man. But I'm just saying that's one of those ones. That's one of them for sure, 100%. You have to see Silence of the Lambs. So good.
Starting point is 00:39:55 I think there's a list of 10. If we had to pick our list of 10 movies... Let's do it right now. We'll go down a list. Okay, okay. There's a list of 10 movies that we all think you have to have seen or watched. Well, Godfather, for sure.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Inglourious Bastards. Brendan. Brendan. Are you a – God damn it, Brendan. Inglourious Bastards. My favorite movie. At least pick fucking – what's it called?
Starting point is 00:40:12 Pulp Fiction. Classic. Classic. Pulp Fiction's another one. Yeah, Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction. Godfather. Pulp Fiction.
Starting point is 00:40:17 Godfather. Lord of the Rings. I honestly – I honestly – I'll say – I was trying to vibe with you. I was trying to – I was trying to – I was trying to vibe with you. I was trying to. I think. I was trying to vibe with you on that. I don't like Fight Club, but I think Fight Club is one of those.
Starting point is 00:40:33 No, no, no. Because those type of movies, I don't think they count. I don't think like a series, a sci-fi series. No, no. They don't count. We're talking about like. No, no, no. Avatar is not one of them.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Actually. Well, it might be. Avatar is out there. Titanic is one of them. I think it's a different category. Avatar? We're talking about like... No, no, no. Avatar's not one of them. Actually... Well, it might be. Avatar's out there. Titanic's one of them. Oh! Never seen Titanic. No! You can't!
Starting point is 00:40:51 No! No! Oh my God. You've never seen Titanic? And won't. I won't watch it. Oh my God. Titanic's so good, dude.
Starting point is 00:41:03 I'm sure it's good. It's worth a watch. I'll watch it. That makes me not want to watch it, but yeah. I'll watch it. Gladiator, Braveheart. Is Titanic one of those, you think? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:41:16 All right. Because at a certain point, it was the highest grossing movie of all time. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so Titanic, Godfather. Gladiator. Gladiator, I guess. Braveheart. Braveheart. We're talking a lot of... These are So, okay. Titanic, Godfather. Gladiator. Gladiator, I guess. Braveheart. Braveheart.
Starting point is 00:41:27 We're talking a lot of, these are recent though. You know what's one sci-fi one that I would say people would say? Star Wars. Star Wars is one of those. Terminator. But the first one. Terminator? I don't think Terminator.
Starting point is 00:41:36 I don't think Terminator. But wait. You are talking. Not the first one though, but maybe the sequel. But you don't see the second one, you see the first one. Predator? A lot of people see the second when they didn't see the second. I know.
Starting point is 00:41:46 They were 20 years apart. I know, guys. But let's get a little bit earlier, though. What about Predator? No, that's not one of those. No. You know what? I'm on the fence on that one.
Starting point is 00:41:57 I don't think Predator is one of those. Predator is one of those? It might be. But that's a very guy movie. Tango and Cash? Twins? No, it's a very guy movie. You're picking a lot of guy movies. Oh, I'm sorry Twins? No, it's a very guy movie.
Starting point is 00:42:06 You're picking a lot of guy movies. Oh, I'm sorry. Let's cock it up. The Notebook is one of those. The Notebook is one of those. Never seen it. Never seen it, dude. Never seen it and never will. Oh, what about La La Land?
Starting point is 00:42:16 Hey, dude, I want you out of the podcast, dude. I want you out. I want you out. Yeah, your choice. The Notebook is definitely one of those. Yeah, I've never seen it. What are the older movies, though? Hold on, though.
Starting point is 00:42:28 There's so many. Gone with the Wind. That's that one. Casablanca. I mean, not that old, dude. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. That might be one of those. That's one of those.
Starting point is 00:42:35 That's Home Alone. Home Alone. Home Alone. One and two. Do you all see Home Alone, though? You've all seen it. Yeah. He hasn't seen Titanic.
Starting point is 00:42:42 No, no, no, because he was an adult. Home Alone, that's all like- That's what I'm saying. Home Alone is one of those movies. We were all under 15. You haven't seen- You've all seen it. Yeah. He hasn't seen Titanic. No, no, no, because he was an adult. Home Alone, that's all like- That's what I'm saying. Home Alone is one of those movies. We were all under 15. If you haven't seen- You've all seen Home Alone, right? If you haven't seen Home Alone, that's insane.
Starting point is 00:42:51 It's insane. Okay, hear me out here. Okay. Don't kick me out. Sandlot. That's one of those. As a kid? Could be one of those.
Starting point is 00:42:57 As a kid? That's a good one. I don't know if that's- You've never seen- Stand By Me. Never seen it. Ooh, that's a sad movie. You've never seen Stand By Me?
Starting point is 00:43:03 Dude, he dies by bees. I need more of these. There's a lot of movies I haven't seen that I probably should have seen, You've never seen Stand By Me? Dude, he dies by bees. I need more of these. There's a lot of movies I haven't seen that I probably should have seen. Yeah, Stand By Me. Goodfellas? That's one of them. Probably, yeah. You got to see it.
Starting point is 00:43:13 Yeah, but then like a fringe one would be like Casino. Right. But it's like they're all the same. My brother's favorite movie is Casino. Really? I'm surprised. The ending bums me out. Well, it's a mob movie.
Starting point is 00:43:22 It would bum me out. The fucking one. Beat the Brothers? buns me out but yeah well it's a mob movie yeah it would buy me out the when they beat the brothers it seems the one where the guy's like uh that guy's solid he's good but that's good fellas all right would he kill it they kill the guy i love that i don't know the way he said it he was like he's a good fella um yeah are we sure you know that was the end of it that's how we're gonna get rid of one of them. Are we missing anything? Chin's cool, right?
Starting point is 00:43:46 We're missing a lot. If you go comedy, what if you go Ace Ventura, The Mask, Something About Mary. How about that? Something About Mary. This is good because just comedies. Something About Mary. Great one.
Starting point is 00:43:58 You never saw that? I never liked that. Stuck on you? Oh, you're so stupid. Ace Ventura. I just showed Calvin Ace Ventura. That was, I will never forget that. Ace Ventura. I just showed Calvin Ace Ventura. That was, I will never forget that. Ace Ventura.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Because he was going like this. He was like, oh, this is what you're trying to be, Dad. Yeah, exactly. Oh, right. Dude, Ace Ventura was obviously my favorite shit. I got another one for you. Meet the Parents. Yeah, it's okay.
Starting point is 00:44:21 That's out there. Cult classic. The boys are on their heads. It's just okay. You guys are with me because we're normal human beings my heartwarming story but i was watching ace ventura because ace ventura was my shit like i loved ace ventura obviously i was very influenced by fucking jim carrey i love jim carrey but by um he's vibing now yeah he's vibing oh he's vibing um
Starting point is 00:44:38 i bought some of his art did you no oh wait so i can't afford it. Yeah. Yeah. True. He, I was like, I just got, you know, these things happen. We're like, Oh wait, I should show my son this.
Starting point is 00:44:49 I showed him. Dude, the fucking thing with the package in the beginning when he was like, got there and it says fragile and he's just like, yeah. Calvin thought that was the funniest fucking thing. Oh, I got one.
Starting point is 00:45:00 And he was like, and he was like, he got a box and he's kicking the box all around the house. I'm Ace Ventura. Yeah. Dude, it's the cutest. Austin Powers is another one. Yeah, that's one. And he was like, he got a box, and he's kicking the box all around the house. I'm Ace Ventura. Yeah. Austin Powers is another one. Yeah, that's one. That is one. Austin Powers is a freaking classic. Yeah, that's up there.
Starting point is 00:45:13 Yeah, I'm talking about... But then, like, even all those, like, if you think about classic... See, my classic comedies, Eddie Murphy's, like, five of them. Right, right. What about Boys in the Hood? Coming to America, Trading Places, you know. Menace to Society? No. Brendan. Menace to Society? No, Brendan. Menace to Society? I'm not saying it's not a good movie.
Starting point is 00:45:31 Have you seen Menace to Society? Yeah, it's good. Everyone has. They're Americans. I've never seen it. Tyron Turner. I'm saying the movie is not good. Many, many people have not seen Menace to Society. No, that's not true Many It's a They're classics though Many people have not seen
Starting point is 00:45:45 They're all classics I guess No that's not true Here's a whole other classic category Okay Soundtrack was lit Ha Mean Girls
Starting point is 00:45:52 Seen it? Never seen it Legally Blonde Seen it? Yeah Ten Things I Hate About You Seen it? Pitch Perfect
Starting point is 00:45:58 Clueless These are all really great He's doing No no no no You're The out of this What did he say? Pitch Perfect
Starting point is 00:46:03 No It's not in the same category. No, stupid. Clueless. You're right. These are all those. Wow, you hit five bang on right there. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:12 Beverly Hills Cop. Ten things I hate about you. Well, that's what I'm saying. That's Beverly Hills Cop. But by the way, top five. That's a fucking classic. Maybe. That's top five comedy of all time.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Comedy. First 48. Top five comedy for sure. Maybe. It might be my number one. First 48? I don't know. Coming to America, the. Top five comedy for sure. Maybe, might be my number one. First 48? I don't know. Coming to America,
Starting point is 00:46:27 the original is funnier than that. Nah, nah. Are you kidding me? No, not that Beverly Hills Cop. It's not. Beverly Hills Cop way better. And then also, what's the Hercules?
Starting point is 00:46:34 Hercules. No, you're crazy. Oh, what is that? Nutty Professor. Nutty Professor? You're crazy. Are you kidding me? Oh, that's up there.
Starting point is 00:46:39 He was playing five characters. Unreal. No, that's not, we're all these ugly people. Ten things I hate about number. We're all ugly people. Ten things I hate about you. First of all, the way it's filmed. The guy does a lot
Starting point is 00:46:50 of one shot, long shots. I don't think I've ever seen this. Oh, you got to see this. That shit is classic. That's a fucking classic. That's a classic teen movie. Are we talking about this
Starting point is 00:46:58 too much though? No. Oh, I got one for you. I got one for you. What? Calm down. We have said a lot of movies. We have said a lot of movies and it is a Christmas episode. It has nothing to do with that. Hold on. Last one. Jingle all the way. I got one for you. What? Calm down. We have said a lot of movies. Everyone calm down. We have said a lot of movies, and it is a Christmas episode.
Starting point is 00:47:06 It has nothing to do with that. Hold on. Last one. Jingle all the way. Ready? Jingle all the way. Fuck you. Hey, Nightmare Before Christmas.
Starting point is 00:47:13 Go. Talk about it. That's a huge classic. That's a huge classic. Calvin loves it. If you want to talk about Christmas movies, any Scrooged? Didn't see it, but I want to. You never seen Scrooged?
Starting point is 00:47:22 And you're a Bill Murray fan? I will see it. I didn't see it. Fuck you, dude. I just made the joke about the Bill Murray thing. Oh never seen Scrooge? And you're a Bill Murray fan? I will see it. I didn't see it. Fuck you, dude. I just made the joke about the Bill Murray thing. Oh, I thought because you loved him when he was a kid. That one, Scrooge, is the best version of the Christmas Carol. Yes.
Starting point is 00:47:32 Okay, hold on. The other great Christmas movie is, what's the one where he wishes he wasn't alive? Oh, Wonderful Life. Wonderful Life. Yeah, a beautiful movie. Don't say beautiful. No, it's a beautiful piece. And honestly, it's gorgeous. Yeah, a beautiful movie. Don't say beautiful. No, it's a beautiful piece. And honestly, it's gorgeous.
Starting point is 00:47:46 It's a gorgeous piece. The film, filmatically and just thematically, the cinema is beautiful. You've got to see it on big screen. You've got to see that one on big screen. What about, oh, ready? If we're talking about Ace Ventura, oh, you know, you guys won't vibe on this.
Starting point is 00:47:58 You don't like Adam Sandler movies. Oof. Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore. I only like one Adam Sandler movie. Big Daddy. Which one is it? Murder Mystery The first one
Starting point is 00:48:08 Which was the best one The second one Tank Oh his new animation For the kiddos Leo and Bill Burrs The turtle in it Fantastic
Starting point is 00:48:14 I watched it So hold on God damn it Jingle All The Way Is the best Christmas movie You're gay dude Have you seen it? Are you crazy?
Starting point is 00:48:21 You're so funny What are you talking about? It's so funny I get to get the turbo man And and Sinbad's in it, dude. Sinbad is the funniest motherfucker. You're talking about you don't watch comedies, but that's your comedy? Because that's your comedy? That's why.
Starting point is 00:48:36 That's why. He does bad-tasting comedy. So we're doing bad comedy lists right now, then. For me, it would be The Golden Child. That would be my worst, best comedy. That's an Eddie Murphy movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. be The Golden Child. That would be my worst, best. That's an Eddie Murphy movie. I want the knife. All right.
Starting point is 00:48:50 I don't know what that is. Please. All right. So we're talking way too much about movies. At least we got onto Christmas movies. You ready for a hot take? Best Eddie Murphy movie? Ready?
Starting point is 00:48:59 Go. Life. No. Go kill yourself. You have to leave. That's top 10. No, we have to escort. Burning back you you have to leave that's that's top 10 no we have to escort burning back we have to look at the people under 50 everyone's like this i don't want you to life that's not even a top that's not a top 10 eddie murphy look at him that's not a top 10 eddie
Starting point is 00:49:19 murphy you guys are voted out of this if this if Survivor, you guys are out. Give me that cornbread. You can eat your cornbread. What are the other nine anymore? I never saw Life. Oh, my God. It's funny. It's one of the greatest movies of all time, dude. There and there's where I hate you.
Starting point is 00:49:36 And there's where it happened. I liked you up until then. You looked in my eyes and you said it. I did, dude. It hurt me. I like bad boys more than Life. That's gay. We're talking about movies too much, dude.
Starting point is 00:49:48 We're talking about this. It's great. We're passionate about it. His nephew has a podcast called Movies and More. That's not our job. It's fair. What's this guy want? Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:58 I'll tell you. I got to fucking order. Hey, what's up, guys? Chris, I'll see you in Oxnard. Thanks for the tickets. I got an idea for you guys for a name game uh christmas carols um name them out i mean there's gotta be a couple of them you guys could probably think of the jank the christmas ones it's the holiday so christmas spirit i guess thanks love you guys thanks buddy we'll see you in oxnard you know what i gotta say yeah why is he in an iron lung?
Starting point is 00:50:25 Yeah. But hold on. He sounds like he's in an iron lung. But let me just tell you, and I know this is not really a popular fucking take. Well, it probably is, but people are always hating on it. You're bitching out. What?
Starting point is 00:50:35 You're bitching out. Okay, okay. I fucking, and you're going to agree with me on this. I don't know if he will or not. I'm listening. But I love Christmas music, dude. I love Christmas music. I don't like Michael Buble. He makes me very angry. dude. I love Christmas music. I don't like Michael Buble.
Starting point is 00:50:45 He makes me very angry. That is different than Christmas music. Dude, he's Mr. Christmas. Well, okay, but there are a lot of Mr. Christmases. Everyone has a Christmas album. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin,
Starting point is 00:50:54 I mean, it goes along. The list is long. Now I'm on board. Okay, but what I'm saying is I love Christmas music. I love it. I love hearing it. I enjoy it.
Starting point is 00:51:03 But only after December 15th. Oh, really? I thought you were going to... It has to be after December 15th. It's the most wonderful time. When you hear that shit, you go, it is the most wonderful time of the year. You know? Unless they do it with cats. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. There's so many. Silent
Starting point is 00:51:18 night. Now you go, I'm ready for bed. This is awesome. I'm ready. Santa, come on. Santa, come on. It's just nice, bro. I love it. This is how we're going to decide the gifts. Chin and I are the only one that brought gifts. You play the name game. Really? I brought gifts. Oh, did you? Not me, dude.
Starting point is 00:51:33 I'm 43. I was going to say the losers of the name game have to bring me and Chin's gifts home. Okay, what's the name game? The Christmas carols. Just listen. Oh, got it. Okay. Oh, like how we did with the other one. Okay.
Starting point is 00:51:47 All right, Silent Night. Brendan Lund. No, it's Christmas songs? Yes. Jingle Bells. Okay, good. Rudolph. Sorry, I was about to lose And just be like Holy night
Starting point is 00:52:05 We said silent night I think that's a song Oh is it Oh I said silent night Holy night is what it is But no I'm going to say Jingle bell rock
Starting point is 00:52:13 I mean No It's a different song Jingle bell Jingle bell Jingle all the way Jingle bell Jingle bell
Starting point is 00:52:19 Jingle bell rock Jingle around the clock Mean girls That's mean girls That's the song they sing When they all dress up like this. Mix and a mingle and a jingle bell. All the spirit is taken out of that. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Go ahead. What's some of Frank Sinatra's slappers for the Christmas one? Michael Buble's, Clay Aikens, Mariah Carey's. Mariah Carey's. Use your limit on saying Michael Buble. What about Mariah Carey's Christmas special? Mariah Carey's. You've used your limit on saying Michael Buble. What about Mariah Carey's Christmas special? Mariah Carey's Christmas special. She's missed Christmas.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Yeah, but you have to say the song. What the fuck is the song? Mariah Carey's Christmas special. White Christmas. White Christmas. Oh, my God. All I want from her. That's what I was going to do, right?
Starting point is 00:53:00 Because that's how you think of Mariah Carey. Yeah. Yeah. All I want from her. Little drummer boy. Even that one's nice. Oh, that one slaps. How about when they go
Starting point is 00:53:13 brrrumba bum bum brrrumba bum bum brrrumba bum bum Dude, that's awesome when it goes. I love it. What about Nightbird for Christmas? What's this? It's magic in the air. What's this? I'm out.
Starting point is 00:53:27 You got to bring a gift home. All right. Who wants a gift? He goes, what's this? What's this? I'm out. My favorite is five golden trees. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:40 What's that? What's called? Twelve Days of Christmas. Oh, yeah, yeah. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves. How about O Christmas Tree? O Christmas Tree. Or the O called? 12 Days of Christmas. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge. How about O Christmas Tree? Or the German version, O Tannenbaum? Ooh.
Starting point is 00:53:51 Ooh. All right. He did it right with the O, too. It's not O-H. It's just O. Yeah, it's getting down to the wire here. There's so many more Christmas songs? Let's see.
Starting point is 00:54:06 I got one. I know. I don't know the name. I could go again. Joy to the World? Oh, there you go. I can sing them. Rudolph.
Starting point is 00:54:16 Oh, you did it. No! You bitched into taking gifts home. So what did we take home? That was like when Chris quit Goldeneye when we were playing. What did I do? You quit the game. You just exited the game.
Starting point is 00:54:27 Oh, yes, I remember. I beat the fuck out of that. It wasn't as fun as I remember. All right, so. This is my daycare. So wait, what do I have to take home? You can pick one of the gifts on the table. I'll pick this one.
Starting point is 00:54:39 I'll pick that one. It's smaller. Give me the pink one. You're welcome, Chris. And then Brendan will get the other one. Oh, this is from Jen? Yeah. Does anyone wear a size large?
Starting point is 00:54:49 Who wears a large, though? Oh, what a great wrapping job, Jen. I was thinking Nick on this. Oh, okay. I feel like you'd rock it. It's just spiders. There's two gifts in there. Oh, really? I get two?
Starting point is 00:55:06 Bro, is this space food? No, it's for camping. You take your kids. You take your boys camping. That'll give you diarrhea. All right. Well, I'll try that. And that's the kind of thing Chin got that in some free box.
Starting point is 00:55:16 No, dude. They're expensive, man. Is this a kite? No. So that's for if you go fishing with your boys. Yeah. Right? And you find a nice spot.
Starting point is 00:55:24 You take that little lead thing off, mark it. So if you're on a boat, you don't lose that spot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, dude. I'll never use this. I know. This is a beer kit. And if you want to look like Khabib.
Starting point is 00:55:39 Why is it UFC? It's a UFC beer kit. So if you want to look like Khabib, you put this beer kit on. What? I don't have a beard anymore well you will you can have a beard
Starting point is 00:55:48 use it for your mustache oh yeah beard kit thanks man you're welcome dude Brendan comes Brendan comes in next week he's just got
Starting point is 00:55:54 wow that thing really works a thick Dagestanian beard yeah wow this is hilarious like all these guys get paid yeah
Starting point is 00:56:03 to be on this big time that's so weird. Oh, but that must be an electric razor. Is that what that is? Thanks, Chin. I'll try these. So what do you do with this?
Starting point is 00:56:12 I feel like you'd rock that hat, Nick. If you're camping, just put boiling water in there. You don't wear hats? I don't really wear hats. If you're camping, Chris. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I'll never do in my house. I'll do it in my house.
Starting point is 00:56:22 I'll eat this for dinner. I got some Bare Knuckle MMA gear for you if you want it. They sent me a ton of stuff. I would take a tee. And that's a street truck magazine shirt. My truck will be featured on the magazine. I love it. Thanks, man.
Starting point is 00:56:36 Thanks, man. I love it, dude. I said Rudolph, huh? That sucks. Yeah, you're stupid. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him. I, you're stupid. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. If you ever saw him, you could even say it glows. I really don't like singing with people.
Starting point is 00:56:53 What is that? I don't like singing with people. What is that? You're selfish. Oh, because you're a narcissist. I don't know if it's that, though, dude. Like, selfish. You know what it is?
Starting point is 00:57:00 No, you think he's a better singer. No, it's not that. You think you're better than Eric? You're the guy in karaoke. You're the guy in karaoke. You're the guy in karaoke. You're at the karaoke like, guys, guys, guys, guys. Guys, listen. Listen.
Starting point is 00:57:12 You guys have to listen. Stop smiling. It's good. Yeah, and he's doing like boys to men, which is supposed to be a group. Yeah, dude. Um, dum, dum, da, ba, ya, ya, ya, da. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Dum, dum, dum, da, da. What's this?
Starting point is 00:57:29 This is the funniest college football player names of 2023. You guys want to read some names? Okay. General Booty. General Booty. Come on. A white guy. Number one.
Starting point is 00:57:40 The coldest Crawford. The coldest. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on a second. I've heard that. you haven't heard that to watch no but but like what i'm thinking about is i i see these parents uh-huh when they were figuring this name out oh it's hilarious they were just sitting around and do you know the dad came up with this oh uh 100 percent that mom was like coldest and he's like no no nah
Starting point is 00:58:09 and he's white right no go to go to the white guy no we're there oh crazy i thought it'd be a white guy oh yeah yeah right general booty is is is yeah is is a bonkers name yeah that's like what are you what are you talking about that's a bonkers name you Yeah, that's like, what are you talking about? That's a bonkers name. Let me see the other one's name. And what if he had one? Here's the thing, too. If he got an ass on him.
Starting point is 00:58:32 Yeah, General Booty. If he got an ass on him, he should be like, yo! Name his son Lieutenant. Somebody got that presidential booty. Lieutenant and General Booty. Rowdy Bears is cool. Rowdy Bears. He looks like a good time child.
Starting point is 00:58:44 He sure looks like a good time Charlie. He sure looks like a Rowdy Beers. Mobility. Mobility. Mobility. Mobility. Now he springs his ankle. He's fucking setting us back 10 years.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Shida Silla? Hold on. You're going too fast Nick. Shida? Shida? Shida's tough. Silla? It's got to be like Shida. Shida.
Starting point is 00:59:09 Shida or Shida, something like that. Shitta? It can be Shitta. But in school, it was Shitta. Oh, in school it was Dookie. What's up, shit? Like the first roll call. You know?
Starting point is 00:59:20 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shida, Shitta. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's boo-boo. All right. The realist. The realist Clark. With a Y.
Starting point is 00:59:29 And he goes to Defiance College. Bro, with a Y. With a Y. Defiance College. No one ever spells this motherfucker's name right. Well, you can't. The realist. The realist?
Starting point is 00:59:42 The realist. I don't know. The realist. Dude person. Now I'm into this. He looks like a The realist? The realist. I don't know. The realist. Dude person. Now I'm into this. He looks like a nice guy. This I'm into. He looks like a real friendly guy.
Starting point is 00:59:51 That's good. Dude person is great. Dude person is great. He's like an NPC. Dude person. Dude person is great. Dude person. That's fantastic.
Starting point is 01:00:02 They should put him on dude person. That's fantastic. If you were a comic and your name was Dude Person, that would be so dope. Yeah, you'd get sick of talking about it. Right. But it would get easier getting famous, though. Come to the stage! Yeah, Dude Person.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Who's this guy, Dude Person? Dude Person. Next. Memorable factor. Linebacker. That's... Wait, hold on. That's...
Starting point is 01:00:23 Looks like he's about to catch a case. That's the worst one. hold on That's Looks like he's about to catch a case That's the worst one Yeah Memorable Factor And what's the nickname for this guy Mem Memmy
Starting point is 01:00:31 What do you call him I bet they just call him Factor Yeah probably call him Factor Factor What's that guy's name I forgot Hey hey Very good
Starting point is 01:00:41 I hate those kinds of jokes I know but you didn't put Yeah you didn't put yeah you didn't yeah you really could have sold that I'd throw him away you'd throw him away Fat Watts
Starting point is 01:00:48 that's fine Fat Watts I mean that's just that's a cool name that sounds like a jazz musician you know hell yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 01:00:54 Fat Watts Panda Askew wow get this get that shit off the screen Tiger Shanks well I mean Shanks but with Shanks it the screen Tiger Shanks but with Shanks
Starting point is 01:01:06 Tiger Shanks and literally your kid is going to be on this list Tiger Shaw is not Tiger Shanks Shanks is something both of them because it's two weird first and last I'm Tiger and I shank you
Starting point is 01:01:22 that's a weird name what is it? Kavassia Smoke Oh my That's so black That's great That is so black That is the blackest name I've ever seen
Starting point is 01:01:33 I like how he innately just knew how to pronounce it Yeah yeah I was even gonna try I'm like Is he tagestani? It sounds like a Kavassia I thought it was like one of the tagestani
Starting point is 01:01:44 Hey hey There's Spanish in that bitch Kavassia Yeah yeah K-V-A-C-A. I thought it was like one of the Dagestani. Hey, there's Spanish in that bitch. K-V-A-C-A. Yeah, yeah. That's a stripper name. Kool-Aid. That's terrible. Okay, wow.
Starting point is 01:01:53 Just a brand. Pig Cage. Are you shitting me? Pig Cage. Is that a name? That's such a cool last name and they ruined it. Pig Cage? Pig Cage.
Starting point is 01:02:02 Yeah, yeah. Cage, cool last name. He ruined it. Oh, thank God he's in shape because that would be terrible. Like if he got fat at all, you can't be Pig Cage. Jaden Musgrave.
Starting point is 01:02:14 That's weird. That's stupid. Parker Titsworth. He's all chubby. That's a British. Oh, hello. I'm Parker Titsworth. Hello.
Starting point is 01:02:21 I'm Mr. Titsworth to you. Yeah, for the royal squeezing. It's like, what's that show I was telling you about, The Tudors? He would be the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'd be the come catcher. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to roll my Uber chair.
Starting point is 01:02:36 All right. Later, Titsworth. See you later, bro. What? Well, both of us are always Titsworth. Not just you. Storm Duck. All right, see you later.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Storm Duck. Storm Duck. But yeah, but we should keep going with these. Yeah, yeah. Just because it's Christmassy. Yeah. Yeah, see you, bro. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:51 Storm Duck. Is that it? That's it, Nick? Oh, my God. Dodge Saucer? Jesus Christ. That's a car. The new Dodge Saucer.
Starting point is 01:03:00 The new Toyota Dodge Saucer. Zero to 60 in four minutes. Fish McWilliams? Jesus Christ. That sounds like a white name. Fish McWilliams, dude? You can get that at McDonald's. I'll get one Fish McWilliams.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Can I give a Fish McWilliams to the guy in the Dodge fucking... What was it? Saucer. Saucer. Two Fish McWilliams to the guy in the Dodge fucking, what was it? Saucer. Dodge Saucer. Two Fish McMillions, please. Chief Borders. Chief Borders. That's not terrible.
Starting point is 01:03:32 Nah, it's all right. I mean, it's bad, but with this list, it's great. Yeah. Is that it? Oh, wow. Major Burns. That's pretty funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:40 That's it. All right. Wow. Those are dumbass names. God bless us, everyone. Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for keeping it. All right. Wow. Those are dumbass names. God bless us, everyone. Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for keeping it Christmassy.
Starting point is 01:03:49 All right, guys. Thank you for watching the Christmas episode of Golden Hour. The Golden Hour. My tickets are on sale. Phoenix. God, I got a lot of Vancouver. I got a lot of dates that just came out. When is this coming out?
Starting point is 01:04:04 This is our 21st, right? So, yeah. Okay, guys. Brea. I'll a lot of Vancouver. I got a lot of dates that just came out. When is this coming out? This is our 21st, right? So, yeah. Okay, guys. Brea. I'll be in Brea. You got to get to Quesada. Made it up. Comedy Cantina.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Made it up. In New Mexico. I'll be there. Outside of Albuquerque at the casino. That sounds like one of the players. 29th and 30th. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:22 And also, from the bottom of my heart, Chin, thank you for this beef stroganoff that I can eat in outer space and then this where I can park my boat. And I will be taking Brendan's gift. Hold on to your jingle bells. Pluto TV has all your holiday favorites for free. Enjoy our season's greetings category with nine holiday channels,
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Starting point is 01:05:19 Just whatever I find fascinating, whether it's a smart person or an expert in a field that I'm interested in, or maybe I'm not even interested in. I'm only interested because I've heard them speak and become intrigued, I think you'll be intrigued as well. We get deep into topics that are quite important to the current age. Things like cognitive dissonance, cognitive distortions, how does our mind work? We talk about everything at the Dr. Drew podcast that is of real relevance. We get all the way into deep physics and all sorts of stuff. But trust me, it's all very accessible. It's very interesting.
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