The Golden Hour - Decoldest Christmas | The Golden Hour #60 w/ Brendan Schaub, Erik Griffin & Chris D'Elia
Episode Date: December 22, 2023The guys have a White Elephant Christmas exchange and talk Frosty The Snowman, wallet etiquette, Elf On A Shelf stories, best gifts they never got, Chris' hatred for the Cyber truck, Payless Shoes' Pa...lessi prank, favorite classic and Christmas movies, Christmas music, funniest football player names and much more! Get two extra episodes every month at https://patreon.com/thegoldenhourpodcast MeUndies - https://www.meundies.com/goldenhour for 20% off plus free shipping DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code: GOLDEN
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We're friends that laugh.
We're friends that shout.
Sometimes we don't know what we're talking about,
but that won't stop us.
Nothing can stop us.
Ooh, yeah
It's like a show you used to love
Just rebranded enough
It's stronger, better, bigger power
Cause it is the golden hour
It's the golden hour
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
There are jingles and jangles and pangles.
No one knows the words to this song.
I don't know.
We're just waiting for Chin to come in.
Yep.
I saw not many guitars in Christmas songs.
No.
Bell, a lot of bells.
I hope it's Michael Bublé.
A lot of bells.
I will say I saw something on, since this is a Christmas episode,
I saw something online.
No, it was on the news, actually.
And it said that Frosty the Snowman
Was a
Transgender
No
Was a
Was a song that
How would you know?
There are more likely
Well yeah
Under his
Thing
He's got dick or ball
You don't have a carrot under there
More accidents
You're prone
Accident prone
They were saying
In your car
If you're listening to that
You're more likely to get an accident accident if you listen to Frosty Snowman
than if you're not.
Really?
I don't know.
What kind of test thing it was?
The other one is good vibrations.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Feel it.
God, that song.
That's a great song.
What a pull from there.
What do you guys – do you guys ask for anything for Christmas?
World peace.
I think I'm going to get it.
I hope you do.
I ask for world peace every morning when I wake up
and every night before I go to bed.
To my wife, I say, baby, I hope we can have world peace.
You say a lot of things to your wife before you go to bed.
It's exhausting.
I have to do it a lot.
Are you hoping for anything, Eric?
It's grown, man.
It's weird.
I don't ask for anything.
You know what I want?
Oh, can you get me a transmission I need for my car?
Oh, you can't?
Then move on.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, you don't know what that is?
Okay.
You know what I got?
What I want to get?
And I told her.
But when you get older, it's like, hey, get me this.
And they say, okay.
Yeah, don't surprise me.
Right.
Oh!
You know?
You don't want to be doing that.
The thing I wanted!
Yeah.
But I...
No, but even worse, when they do surprise you and you don't like it and you're just,
oh.
I want, I asked for a wallet.
I need a new wallet.
So I'm going to get that.
I know.
Ooh, we're getting older.
You need to get a.
We're getting older.
Asking for wallets for Christmas?
Yeah, but it's a new wallet.
I got to ask Rachel what the company is.
It's Bright Green.
It's from Bodega Banana.
Okay, now I kind of want one. I think this is a Bodega Banana wallet. I think. Oh, is. It's bright green. It's from Bodega Banana. Oh, okay. Now I kind of want one.
This is a Bodega Banana wallet.
I think.
Oh, is it?
I think so.
It doesn't look like it.
This is a great quality wallet.
There you go.
On an infomercial.
No, no, no.
Rachel got this from me.
Oh, so it's good.
So it's definitely expensive.
Yeah.
My last wallet is awesome, but it's on its way out, bro.
Gucci.
And the thing is, I know.
Oh, yeah.
You're the one with that stupid snake wallet.
Yep.
That's me, bro.
I always think of that. Who's got the stupid snake
Really
Yeah
That's hilarious
It seems
It seems broken
That's what you want
It's really thick
Why you got all that stuff
There's a lot of cash
No no no there's not
But I
They're all ones
Dude
Why are you carrying all
Like cars
They're not ones
I know they're not ones
They're not ones
Oh my god
They're not ones I was trying my God. They're not ones.
I was trying to be, you know, I want people to identify with me and stuff, but you can't.
It's the most wonderful times of the year.
Dude, there's C-notes of 50s.
So hold on.
That's from playing at the improv.
That's all I have is hundreds of them.
I know, I know, I know.
Kristen got me this one like six, seven years ago, though,
when we first started dating, and it was really cool.
What's wrong with it, though?
Oh, oh, oh.
Somebody hit a spot last night.
So, yeah.
So you're getting a wallet?
What are you going to ask for?
Well, no, you know what's wrong with it is this had a-
The snake's wearing off?
Yeah, the snake's wearing off.
And then also it had, and this is very interesting for everyone at home,
but it had like an over sheen to it.
It just completely came off.
Can you believe that?
It just completely came off.
I didn't believe that.
It looks like a vintage wallet.
It's dope.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm going to use this one too.
I'm going to have two wallets.
My uncle has two wallets and he has one.
He keeps them both in his.
I hate that.
Bro, he has two wallets because he has one with cash in it and cards and all the good stuff.
And then he has another one in it with just singles and off credit cards.
He doesn't really use it much.
I say, why do you have two?
He says, for when he gets robbed.
If somebody ever robs me, I give him this one.
Yeah. Smart. Has he been robbed before? No. he says for when he gets robbed if somebody ever robs me I give him this one yeah smart
has he been robbed before
no
how many times has he been robbed
zero
where it goes through his head
hey it's like having an assurance
he's ready
that's a real person
but he's ready
that's
he's ready
what are you gonna get Eric
stay ready Chris
so you don't gotta get ready
stay ready
so you don't gotta get ready
wow
anything coming for you
from Santa you've been a bad
boy. No, if I wanted anything...
That was kinky. Yeah.
Right? Kinky Christmas?
The outfit.
Bad boy. Oh, man, that's
hot. Bad, bad boy.
It's so hot when you do that, too. I would want
a day where I could just play video games
and she don't come in and say anything
to me. But do that for your birthday.
Yeah. Because you can't do it for Christmas. No, I can't do it for my birthday
because my birthday is her birthday. Right.
Yeah. Birthday. There needs to be.
You know what? She's planning stuff for her. I know
there. I guess Father's Day.
No, but you're going to want to be with the kid.
Exactly. Is there a steak and blowjob day?
This is bullshit, bro, though.
There's not. You know what?
There can't be.
There isn't, my family.
Is there?
Who do you give a blowjob to?
We got you there.
It's the most wonderful time of the year.
Nick, what are you doing for Christmas? Oh, I hate when people do that.
Yeah, do that.
Oh, my God.
It's like I like listening to the Sirius Sinatra.
And I hate when they take an old classic song that you know how it's supposed to go,
and they fucking change it.
I hate that.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Nicholas, Christmas plans?
Crying by yourself?
Going to Wisconsin.
Going to hang out with my sisters, with my nephews.
Do you get some fire-ass gifts or what?
Well, over Thanksgiving, I told you my nephew started movies and more podcasts
with Leo Kirshner.
Yep.
Go check it out.
I got in the car.
My sister picked me up from the airport and I was like, oh, I got, I got Leo a bunch of
extra podcast equipment.
She's like, I did too.
The kid got like $3,000 worth of equipment.
He has a better setup than us.
Now we can have three podcasts like all of us.
He's going to be going live.
Yeah.
It's going to be sick.
Wow.
That's funny.
So he doesn't probably get anything.
Okay.
We're not at gift age.
No,
those days are over.
It depends on the person.
I mean,
I feel like,
I feel like Kristen's kind of bad shit.
Well,
when it comes to Christmas.
Yeah,
so you probably have like,
that's what I'm saying.
So you had like the,
this is probably full of like.
We have one for you.
Shit that you
yeah Rachel's got
yeah
and she just puts stuff in it
like
but isn't
but isn't your wife's
at this point
they're like
listen I want this for Christmas
like I'm not surprised
yeah I hope so
like my wife goes
this is what I want for Christmas
like you just buy it and wrap it
that's what I hope for
she wants a bag
that like we have to
make an appointment to go talk to the people to look at it god making an appointment is hilarious to see a bag that we have to make an appointment
to go talk to the people.
Making an appointment is hilarious.
She sent me a picture
of the bag.
First she called it a diaper bag.
It's like an $8,000
bag.
A diaper bag for $8,000
there better be
actual shit in this bag.
From a very high-acclaimed artist.
Jason Derulo.
Call back to last week.
Open it up.
It goes, Jason Derulo.
Ooh.
That sounds good.
It smells like shit, though.
Yeah, so she wanted, like, you know.
You're right, though, because this is what I want.
And she's making it, like, you know, because it's so close to this.
She's like, it's my push present.
Yeah,
like,
don't leave it up to me.
I wait the last second.
I'll rush into fucking Zales diamonds
or something,
get a fake jewelry.
You're getting Zales?
Is that a real place?
Zales,
yeah.
Zales is a real place.
You can go in there,
get it.
It's just probably not the best.
Rachel ain't going for that Zales.
She ain't going for that Zales.
Oh,
he has slippers.
So you put this song on? What?
You feel it, right?
And then he comes in and messes it up
but...
What is this? One minute of Jason Derulo
singing his name. He has one slapper.
His newest one was a slapper. They're at his
house dancing by the pool. My kids love that.
I don't know one Jason Derulo
song. I probably would if it played.
I know that song but I couldn't name you a Jason Derulo. He's the kind of artist you go that one Jason Derulo song. I probably would if it played. You would for sure. I know that song, but I couldn't name you a Jason Derulo.
He's the kind of artist you go, that's Jason Derulo?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then he says, Jason Derulo, and you're like, oh, yeah.
Oh, it is Jason Derulo.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I guess that's what I want is a wallet, and I don't know.
That's such an old man gift.
Well, because we're getting older.
But it is an old man gift.
You want the day off.
That's true.
There's nothing more old man than that.
You want a don't bother me day.
I just want some peace and quiet.
All I want.
But you know what?
Actually, by the way, with the purse, it was funny because she goes, I go, something happened.
I go, okay, well, I'm taking $100 off the purse.
You know?
Yeah.
I was like, if you just leave me alone, you'll get it, you know?
So there was a day I'm playing, and I was like, comes in it's hilarious and she hadn't come in and I texted
I was like good job towards the purse and she was like funny obviously I'm gonna get her to purse
of course yeah you know I mean I just say like they they when they that's funny they actually
it's funny they when they really want something, right?
Right.
Maybe they want some nonsense, and you'll be like, that's nonsense.
Okay.
Then they'll be like, ah, whatever.
I don't really need this.
But when they want something, it's like.
They'll do whatever it takes.
Then they talk about it.
They'll be like, you know, but this one, yeah.
So I just go, I got to get this first.
But it's funny when she sent me the thing.
You know, you send your picture of it.
I hate when they send a picture because you're like, what?
I'm supposed to look at this and be like, oh, no, no, no.
Oh, shit.
There was no info on it?
No info.
Just a picture.
This is it.
I'm like, oh, what the fuck do I get this?
Yeah, this looks like.
I just ordered my own Christmas gift.
I'm like, oh, it came.
Look.
How cool.
Yeah.
If you want to wrap it, I guess.
I think, though, you can't go wrong with, and you don't have to go fucking nuts nuts price wise but like you know jewelry's good like a bag is
good oh the thing about bags are though they have to know about yeah yeah exactly also bags are kind
of a good investment certain ones those birkins they hold their value but yeah but you can't like
they're flipping you can't go get a bag and not have her be a part of that bag no no no i know
yeah no no it's like getting sunglasses for a guy or some shit.
You're like, oh.
Kind of, yeah.
I don't know.
Or shoes.
Well, Eric will throw anything on his fucking face.
If you got me prescription glasses,
you didn't even know my prescription.
They're not the right prescription?
I just get, oh, thanks, Chris.
I got a headache.
I got a headache.
These are sweet.
Whoa, whoa.
These are dope, dude.
Thank you.
I look great.
I'll deal with the headache.
Hey, Nick, why are you over here?
Why would I?
Yeah.
Oh, do you tell your kids that Santa brought the gifts?
Well, yeah.
I keep it real.
No, Santa didn't work his ass off telling dick jokes in Chicago to pay for these goddamn gifts.
I mean, Calvin's going to be like, nothing's better than mom.
You know what I'm saying?
See, I watch all her little videos.
Yeah.
All these videos.
There was a cute one with you
and your dad.
Oh,
the one where they made a puppet show?
That was really cute.
Shout out to her YouTube,
which is Cozy Robe Productions or something.
I can't remember.
She just came up with it,
but it's Cozy Robe something.
Oh,
have you started Elf on the Shelf?
Yes.
So,
it's exhausting,
but you got to get creative.
It's so funny, bro.
She, she, so you do it.
Oh yeah.
Okay.
I get into it.
Oh, you do.
I love it.
So Kristen, so you know what it is.
Okay.
So Elf on the Shelf is.
You're about to learn.
Bro, it's crazy the way they branded this and marketed it.
It's just wild.
So Elf on the Shelf is basically an elf that you get and you hide it every night.
30 days. 30 days. You hide it. You don't hide it or you put it out somewhere every night and they wake up they're like where is he today he flew around the house and like you know and so you write him
notes and he he only comes if you're good yeah are you my kids are bad this sounds ridiculous
you know what it's as ridiculous as santa or the Tooth Fairy. It's just another one of these things.
Yeah, but at least you have to deal with Santa one night.
Right, right, right, right, right.
Okay.
All I heard was, this sounds like I got to get up at 2 o'clock in the morning and fucking
move out.
No, no, no, no.
No, kids are crunk for it.
Like, my son will rush downstairs and be like, where's the elf?
Dude.
And if he's bad, he's like, he's in the same spot.
I'm like, yeah, dude.
You know what you got to do?
Kristen did this.
She took the, you know, it's like this big, right?
She took the elf.
She put it in a cup like it was a glass that you could see through. do that kristen did this she took the you know it's like this big right she took the elf she put
it in a cup like it was uh a glass that you could see through that was like it was a toilet and put
hershey kisses under it in in the cup like he was taking a shit in the glass it's like oh he took a
poop last night people get creative gotta do that like i wrap them in tortillas i'm like look they're
mexican okay well that's not like that creative Okay, so that's... Oh, my.
That's a good one.
God, dude.
That's not...
So you want to traumatize the kid?
Traumatize the kid.
Oh, dude, Calvin would...
I don't even understand what he would do.
I would...
Oh, my God.
And the rule is if the kids touch the elf,
they lose their magic and they don't get your gifts.
I know, but we threw that out the window.
Oh, not me.
My son actually touched him.
My littlest one was like, God damn it.
Yeah.
When you're not around.
Bro, Calvin, we – Kristen was – we didn't talk about it at first.
She was like, yeah, and you can't touch him because then the magic goes away.
And I'm like, that's too much for a friend.
No, it's not.
My kids know the rule.
No, I understand.
But like I don't – at some point you're like, this is all lies.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, it's like Santa.
Okay.
Everyone's doing it.
But like, there's so many, now there's another thing you got to be like, don't touch it.
They can't fly around a room.
It's like, what's the elf with the Santa?
I understand.
But so, so, so he was like, I holding the, in the box and he was like, but you don't
touch it. And he was like, but you don't touch it.
And he kept saying that.
And I'm like, he's saying that because he wants to touch it so bad.
You know what I'm saying?
And he's like, but we can't touch it because it'll lose its magic, right?
There's a hole in the box that you can kind of like go around and touch it.
He would just be like, can I just put my finger in the hole and it will be okay with the magic?
And I'm like, yeah, buddy.
And he would just go like not touching it.
He's like, I didn't touch it.
All day long.
And I'm like, babe, can we just tell him he can touch it?
I'm not touching it.
Can I put things in it?
He was putting things in.
So now the elf's in there with a bunch of shit in there you know so finally he was he I I just said to him you know crystal was in the other room and
I just said to him I said buddy none of this is real I said I said do you want to do you want to
touch the elf and he said I would like to touch the elf and I was like it's okay if you touch the
elf it's fine he'll still be magic and he was like he won't it won't ruin the magic and I was like, it's okay if you touch the elf. It's fine. He'll still be magic. And he was like,
it won't ruin the magic?
And I was like,
no, that's okay.
And he said,
okay.
I took him off.
Bro, this fucking thing.
It's like he's,
it's like my son is Arnold Schwarzenegger
and the thing is Danny DeVito.
You won't leave it alone.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He loves it.
He takes it everywhere.
You can be sad when you don't get gifts
because that's not how it works.
The magic is gone? Yes, dude. You fucked it everywhere. He's going to be sad when he doesn't get gifts because that's not how it works. The magic is gone.
Yes, dude.
You fucked it up.
That's the secret society.
You fucked it up.
What if your kid could time jump real quick?
So it's like Calvin's dealing with this elf thing.
And then he could be like 19 like this.
Can you just imagine the conversation?
Instantly he becomes 19 and has a 19
year old. He'd be like, what?
Stupid shit. You're fucking lying to me.
They could do that?
It's just amazing how the brain works.
The Santa one, especially when the kids get smart, he's like,
wait, how's the Santa get around so fast
all over the world? He gets
man. What kind of engine
is it? Because he's in the cars. I'm like, I don't know.
Dude, I don't fucking... It know, dude. I don't fucking,
it's a heavy.
I don't fucking know.
It's magic,
asshole.
When is that age?
Tiger's right about there.
He's like,
hold on.
How's he going to fit down our chimney?
I'm like,
that's the thing. But then you're going to have a thing
where you're like,
you guys are going to have an inside thing.
Yes.
Don't tell your brother.
Don't ruin it for your brother.
Which he'll definitely ruin it for.
When you're not around, just like a a like a being mean you know what else yeah santa's not real and he hates you people would tell me bro i wrote so hard for santa people would tell me like
oh you know it's not real mama told me i was like your mom's a fucking lying ass hoe yeah i'm
straight up 10 years old i was like i'll believe in i in it. I don't give a fuck. I got old.
But you guys do gifts from Santa and then gifts from mom and dad.
Yeah.
I do one from Santa.
The rest are from daddy.
Got it.
Yeah.
When I was a kid, every gift was from Santa.
That's bullshit.
Yeah.
I don't even remember that.
That's trash. My mom worked too hard to be dealing with that shit.
You're saying?
Because I was the only child single parent.
Yeah.
She don't got time to... Break it down.
No, hell no.
I'm with your mom.
Oh, really?
I just had gifts.
Oh.
Yeah.
I mean, it's kind of...
It is kind of weird to pretend.
I don't remember...
What I'm saying is I don't remember the moment where I was like...
Vibing.
You knew your parents were doing this for you.
Uh-huh.
Like, what's that moment?
I remember.
I don't remember that moment.
I was 18.
I remember.
I was older. I was 18 I remember I was older
But that was the first time
He could afford a gift
Yeah
What's the best gift
You guys got
Do you remember as a kid
God
Oh race car track
Oh yeah
But the kind of
The one where you know
You have the controller
Yeah
Those
They always fall off
Yeah we try to do
Like dumb shit
Yeah remote control cars
Were the shit
Oh they were the shit
You know
You charge them for nine hours
And they work for five minutes
Yes
Fuck that dude
Right
Those
Man that might be a good gift
For my kiddos
Yeah
Like that's
My kids would love that
That is good
That's what I'm gonna get
That's the thing
The toys are so much better now
You don't think about it
They're way better
They don't fall off
I'm getting this for me
For all this
What is this Top Turbo That's exactly what I'm gonna get My kiddos Oh I hope they don't think about it they're way better they don't fall off i'm getting this from me what is this top that's exactly i'm gonna get my kiddos oh i hope they don't watch this
me too yeah for most reasons yeah like dad says bitch a lot was there ever a gift that you dad
what's vibing that you didn't get but i would get this kind of shit where do i begin oh that's funny
i remember she'd get this and i wouldn't have the not have batteries where do I begin oh that's funny I remember
what'd you say
she would get this
and I wouldn't have the batteries
I remember when I was a kid
when I had the idea
where I was like
wait a minute
Santa
brings all the toys
Santa makes all the toys
why are they in the fucking boxes
at the toy store
boom
and I was like
oh yeah Santa can make the toys
I started putting stuff on my list
that were things that I invented yeah cause i was like have santa make me a fucking remote
control helicopter dude this they weren't around back then i was like have him do that now imagine
the so like you're and then your logic in your head is like you have an attitude about it yeah
when it's so simple yeah it's just your parents are being like, yeah, there's no Santa.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you're getting mad.
Yeah.
Have him make this for me.
Have him make me a Bill Murray doll.
He could do it.
He's got a whole workshop with fucking elves.
Where is it?
Where is it, mom?
Your parents are struggling to find it.
I got to steal this shit from Mattel.
Where's the fucking?
And that's when your parents have to go,
okay.
We tried.
Santa's not real.
Oh, isn't that convenient?
You just don't let it go.
Santa's fucking real.
Oh, there you go.
Ghostbusters. There you go.
Oh, wow.
My kid wants one of those
Drivable cars for the kids
They're expensive man
Mercedes
I want that as a kid
I want it so bad
My parents are like
You got your god damn mind
Did they have those
Oh you mean just like
The left
Yeah
Toys R Us
They're like $600
Back in the day
Fuck off
I love seeing those videos
Of kids
Running over other kids
Oh man
With that car
I don't think I've seen that But that's hysterical You haven't seen that one It was a great The girl I love seeing those videos of kids running over other kids with that car.
I don't think I've seen that, but that's hysterical.
You haven't seen that one?
It was great.
Because you know they're not that hurt.
Yeah, she just runs over the little girl.
You got to see that.
Yeah, he wants a TRX like that, so it looks like mine.
They're tough to find.
Oh, yeah.
You know what?
This isn't even one.
I haven't seen this one. Boom, bitch.
Oh. That's what I'm saying, yeah. You know what? This isn't even a one. I haven't seen this one. Boom, bitch. Oh.
That's what I'm saying, dude.
That kid got hurt.
Those six are dangerous.
And you know what's crazy?
That kid might be dead.
You know what's crazy?
Is that kid went to do that.
Oh, yeah.
The kid was like, oh, I...
Yeah, why is that kid a good driver?
She's the one.
I gotta gear up on this shit and doing the noise
yeah
you know what speaking of cars I saw
I put on my story I saw a cyber truck in person
have you seen is that what they're called the cyber truck tesla yeah the batteries cyber truck
yeah cyber truck have you seen one in person no they look ridiculous have you seen one in person
no they look cool or what so okay it can't look cool it looks like a delorean no it looks like
my son drew it so i i actually thought they looked cool online.
I was like, you know what?
Obviously, it's going to get hated, Elon and shit.
But I was like, I think these kind of look cool.
I saw it in person.
It looks terrible.
It looks fucking terrible.
I clown them all the time.
And what's weird is I love Elon.
I hate Tesla. I clown him all the time. And what's weird is I love Elon. I love Elon. I hate Tesla.
I can't stand Tesla.
And the Cybertruck, as much as I want to hate on it,
the performance is nuts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't like Teslas because to me,
I know most cars are,
but to me, it looks like they're just made on a factory line.
It just looks like-
I don't like the culture around Tesla.
I like the people that drive Tesla.
But that's not his fault.
It is, though. Elon, do you think? I wouldn't sell the culture around Tesla. I like the people that drive Tesla. But that's not his fault. It is, though.
Elon, do you think?
I wouldn't sell it to Cucks.
Anyway, so here it looks cool.
If you were on the moon, this would look great.
I think this looks kind of cool.
But, bro, if you see it in person, first of all, it's very awkward.
It's so long, bro.
That's what she said.
And it is so sharp.
Like the edges, it's like you could back up four miles an hour.
You'd kill somebody.
Yeah.
It's so, you're hemorrhaging and shit.
You know how heavy that thing is?
Like Elon's like, it's bulletproof and arrowproof.
You're like, okay.
Yeah.
What am I supposed to do with that?
I don't know, man.
I guess that helps.
I was like, this is the fucking Cybertruck?
Why?
Performance-wise, it's not hard.
Well, yeah, I get it.
I get it.
You're still not faster than my car.
All right.
You guys went for a ride, man.
You guys are so scary.
It was scary.
It's violent.
That Tesla, it would beat your car.
No, no, no.
Not zero to 60.
Probably a quarter mile. Not zero to 60. Probably a quarter mile.
Not zero to 60.
Oh, okay.
Well, that car beat a car while towing that car.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't even know if that was real.
I think those videos are fake.
I was about to say.
It can't be real.
No, they're real.
I just like to say they're fake because it riles people up.
Well, the Lucid Sapphire, it beat a Bugatti.
I don't even know what that is.
I know Lucid, but I don't know Sapphire.
I don't think with electric, it's like, I can microwave you a filet if you want.
But it's $240,000.
I can microwave you a filet.
Or would you rather have it slow grilled?
It's $240,000.
This car?
Yeah.
That Lucid.
The highest version of the car.
So this car, so let me see the front of it.
The thing I don't get about this kind of car is, now, it kind of looks like your car a little bit, right?
Yeah, very similar.
They're like race ready.
But your car's a nice car.
But this car, for $240,000?
I'm with you.
It should look way cooler.
Yeah, I agree.
It's 1,200 horsepower.
Well, here's the thing, too.
The lesser version, so I have a Lucid Touring.
So there's one that's called Lucid Air.
And that one's like $70-something thousand dollars, right?
But it doesn't have any of the nooks and crannies.
Sure, yeah.
So my thing is like, go get like the higher version.
Go get a $70,000 Chevy Blazer.
Yeah, I agree.
It has everything on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But don't get like the shit model of the expensive car.
Right, right.
But that's what you got?
No, I got the middle model.
No, you got the good one.
I got the middle.
Got it.
Yeah.
And the middle and the other one, they're very similar.
The only difference is the battery.
Okay.
I just don't like their culture around it.
I don't like Newsom.
They came out with another thing today.
Like by 2032, we're going to stop selling combustion engines.
Real cars?
Yeah.
It's like, well, it's not up to you, bitch.
Like anytime they force it on me, that's when America's,
it's in our blood to go, no, no.
I understand that, except for some states are going to be able to do it.
Like what?
Well, I mean, I'm saying some states, like California might be one of them.
They're not because we don't have the infrastructure for all the electric,
the grid and all that shit.
Right, no, not yet.
So they think, but it's like I'm 2035.
They're still not going to be ready.
And all the people, like all the great people that build parts for combustion engines,
what happens to all those American-made companies?
Yeah, but they're saying by 2035 here.
Yeah, but photomats, what happened to all those great people?
What's that?
Exactly.
I don't even know what it is.
I know that's a joke, but what is it?
Yeah, I'm just saying there was the places that they-
Oh, photomat, got it.
Yeah.
Like, you know, they don't do that anymore. Right. was a place that they... Oh, Photomat, got it. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know,
they don't do that anymore.
Right.
All the people that, you know,
it's like, it happens.
You know, businesses,
you have to evolve.
Yeah.
I just think that...
But we're not evolving
for the better, is my thing.
Well...
Like, that thing was better.
I mean, there are...
Electric cars aren't better.
Right, I understand,
but also,
they're going to argue
that they are.
Yeah.
There's no argument,
especially if you look into it. Now, if you prefer it... Vibing me, yeah. No, if you prefer it... Yeah, There's no argument, especially if you look into it.
Now, if you prefer it.
Vibing me.
No.
Yeah, I know.
But if you say you look into it, you say that's vibing.
But yeah.
Yeah, sure.
If you prefer it, do your thing.
But when they force it on you, that's when the issue.
I understand.
Yeah.
Because it's better for the environment?
Not true.
No, I know.
Right, right, right.
Do you stop at red lights?
What?
Do you stop at red lights when you drive?
I live my life one quarter mile at a time.
I do most of the time.
Why?
Because they force that on you.
It's called laws, and you have to follow them.
I got you.
Well, there's laws.
I stop.
Speed limits, too.
But electric car is not a law.
I stop.
They're trying to make it a law.
That's the issue.
Saying it's better for the environment.
I stop.
I don't think that they're saying it's better for the environment.
That was their initial push.
I'm not going to finish that sentence, and nobody will ever get to hear it.
No, it's okay. It wasn't really that interesting. No, it's better. That was their initial push. I'm not going to finish that sentence and nobody will ever get to hear it. No, it's okay.
It wasn't really that interesting.
No, it's okay.
No, it wasn't your fault.
I kind of bitched out on it nine times and I'm done.
So I'm tired of you getting mad at us.
No, I'm not mad.
Because you got bitch ideas.
I'm not mad.
Stop with your bitch ideas.
I understand.
And then he gets mad.
This is what he does.
He goes, you know what?
Fuck it.
You guys.
You're on the joke.
But what you're misunderstanding is it wasn't for this.
I'm not mad at you.
I understand.
I accept it.
It was a bitch idea.
I didn't get it out in time.
Yeah.
And it's all good.
I washed my hands of it.
Get it out next time.
I know.
I get it.
It's a learning moment.
And I'm not saying it's a teaching moment for you guys.
It's a learning moment for me.
No, we taught you.
No, no, no.
Not to be a bitch.
But you didn't say anything.
I taught it myself.
It was an internal thing, and I'm washing my hands of it.
It's all good.
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Do you know what they really need to be making, man?
I think, first of all, I was talking to an engineer.
Biodome 2.
No, no.
Maybe it was.
Oh, I'd watch that.
I mean, I knew I'd get Nick with that.
So I knew I'd get Nick with that.
Nick's laughing so hard.
But I was talking to an engineer, and the problem with the electric batteries right now,
he compared it to the batteries that we have now are like tube televisions.
Right, right. And 4K TVs are about to come out.
Right.
But they're selling all these tube TVs and the new technology.
It'll get way better, yeah.
Yeah, in like five years, the cars will go 800 miles.
Right.
An hour.
But what should happen, though, is that they should be like gas,
like the hybrids.
I think hybrid cars will probably be able to go 1,500 miles
if they make them like that.
Yeah, yeah.
So the issue is not just about electric cars and the environment.
The issue, too, is that the gas people
suck. What do you mean?
Make better technology.
Stop doing 50
miles a gallon. Let's get 150 miles
a gallon. That's the issue.
The issue is with high-powered
cars, they need a ton of fuel
so they get bad gas miles. There's nothing you can do
to combat that. That's why they're getting rid of them.
If you're a pussy.
No, yeah, it's something.
My whole gripe
with electric cars is
they pretty much
all look horrendous.
Yes.
You know what I'm saying?
Like your car's a nice car.
There's nothing flashy about it
and that's fine.
I don't want flashy.
I know you don't.
If you want.
And they should make
those cars look like that's fine. I don't want flashing. I know you don't. If you want. And they should make those cars look like that and nice.
They should make nice cars.
You buy a fucking Lincoln version of that, whatever it is, not electric.
It looks like a nice car.
But then you should get – they should make the cool ones.
Look at what's coming, though, man.
They're coming.
It is.
They do.
Electric escalade.
I would buy an electric car.
I almost wanted...
They look like...
The Hummer.
That looks...
Dude, I just saw one of those on the road the other day.
Those look crazy weird.
So unreliable.
Well, but even now?
Right now.
Horrible reliability.
Number one most unreliable car on the road, Tesla.
Now, they're going to figure that out.
It is?
It's just like any...
Yeah, because there's so many on the road. They're going to figure that out. It is? It's just like any, yeah, because there's so many on the road.
They're going to figure that out.
I wanted one of these.
They're expensive.
This is electric.
How about some price of yours?
RIP, but he was going to hook me up.
But now they're not as expensive.
It was like a gold rush.
People wanted to get it.
That's how they always go.
That looks cool.
Yeah, these are cool.
But check out the electric Escalade that's coming out in 2025.
It's electric Escalade.
Car talk. Just car talk with guys,'s electric Escalade. Car talk.
Just car talk with guys, you know?
Just guys doing car talk.
I like it, man.
That's cool looking.
Yeah, but they got that.
That's cool looking.
There's a lot of them like that.
All the companies are coming out with their, like Jaguar, like all the Land Rovers.
They never made a good car, bro.
I know, but Land Rovers are going to be a...
Land Rovers are dope.
Land Rovers isn't Jaguar, though.
It is the same company.
Oh, it is?
Yeah, Land Rover, Jaguar.
That's why my goal for 2024 is to get the last hot rod ever made in America.
Dodged it once.
Well, now you fucked yourself because everyone who hears this is going to try and get it.
Good luck.
There's only 3,000 of them.
It comes with 1,030 horsepower.
0-60 in 1.3 seconds.
I can do that.
I can go really fast.
It's the last hot rod ever made.
Well, I don't know.
I know you guys aren't car guys.
Is this my kid?
I feel like...
What chance he looks like that?
I feel like...
Have you seen the
Ferrari SUV coming out? Yes.
It looks just like the Mazda.
You ever seen the comparison?
It's not, though. You know what I saw today?
Drake said, have you ever seen this Toyota that looks like's not, though. Oh, you know what I saw today? Drake had a Ferrari.
Drake said, have you ever seen this Toyota that looks like a Rolls Royce?
Are they out already?
Yes.
It's only in Japan.
Let me see the Mazda Ferrari one.
That's the side-by-side one.
Compare the Mazda and Ferrari.
But you know it's not like that.
Though it's the Mazda, just do that and put our internals in it.
But the Ferrari.
Click on the, you see where it's gray and red?
Oh, yeah, yeah, right there.
Same car.
Nah, bro, come on.
That's not very similar.
It's like Corvette and a Ferrari 488.
And we're getting heavy here, but you guys are feeling it.
Yeah, but dude, this is just like sneakers.
You say sneakers?
Sneakers.
Sneakers.
Like you could have like a Jordan can be on one sneaker
and Payless can be on the other.
They look exactly the same.
Do you guys see that prank that they did at a Payless store where they had influencers
come and they just had Payless shoes?
They fixed the store up and were like...
Yes, dude.
That was funny, bro.
That's because people think like him.
They think like, you know, it's like, oh, that looks the same, so I'm not going to get
it.
Or you're going to be like, that looks good.
I'm an idiot.
And I'm going to get it.
I am.
I will say this.
I am a sucker for...
We all are.
Yeah.
For what?
Like, if I know something's a little bit more expensive, I'll think it's nicer.
Me too.
For no reason.
That's how we're built.
They did that with wine, too.
They gave the cheapest wine the most expensive, said this one's the most expensive.
Dude, I say this all the time.
Dude, if you walk down the street with a television, nice 4K TV...
Which I do all the time.
You couldn't give it away.
If I was like, hey, you want your free TV?
Hell yeah, I'll take it.
What's up with this?
Isn't that weird?
But if I'm sitting on the side in front of a house with a bunch of stuff and I go, $300 4K TV and we're moving.
We're just trying to get rid of this.
All of a sudden, it'd be like, ooh, only $300.
Isn't that weird?
It's a weird thing.
Yeah, but all these idiots thought that these were great shoes.
They called it Palasi.
No.
Did they? Yeah. They called it Palasi. No. Did they?
Yeah.
That's funny.
Yeah.
And they're all talking like, you know, I feel the quality.
Right.
I remember.
I saw it.
I feel the quality.
And it's just like that quality.
I saw God.
Oh, my God.
Well, that's why the car companies did this anyway.
Did what?
So you had Toyota.
And they were like, man, people aren't spending a lot of money on Toyotas.
Let's make a new brand. and we'll call it Lexus.
And then idiots will be like, well, Lexus is better than Toyota.
It's like, no, they're the fucking same car.
Exact same.
It's the same car.
Are they the exact same?
Exactly.
Check that out at Toyota.
Take my money.
Take my money, Lexus.
That thing's only in Japan, though, right?
Well, it's called CarWow, so yes.
What is that? It is, yeah. I remember reading about it. Yeah, it's dope. CarWow. Only only in Japan, though, right? Well, it's called CarWow, so yes. What is that?
It is, yeah.
I remember reading about it.
Yeah, it's dope.
CarWow?
Only available in Japan.
It's like 100 grand, but it's sick.
Japan does that.
They just put wow on here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You go to McDonald's, it's the Big Mac Wow.
The Wow Mac.
Let's see what this guy's got to say.
Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
What's up, Golden Hour crew?
Don't mind the hair or the frizz.
You look fine, bro.
It is what it is.
Got a debate club for you guys.
What movie have you not seen that would make people mad?
Oh, dude.
Personally, anytime somebody asks me if I've seen The Godfather,
and I say no, all hell breaks loose.
It's fucking crazy and it's like one movie my
girl has seen besides every other movie i asked her oh have you seen fight club no or have you
seen you know any other movie she never she never watches it the one movie she watched
godfather i haven't seen unfortunately i've seen clips of it that's weird yeah but i haven't seen
it from front to back sorry guys but anyway, what movie have you not seen that people just can't stand that you haven't seen?
Oh, bro.
All the Avengers.
No seen Endgame.
Yeah, but those haven't been out long enough, though.
That's not a good one yet.
The Endgame?
Isn't that a major movie for the Marvel news?
I think they're talking about Godfather is one of them.
Like Schindler's List, Shawshank. Fight Club is one of them. Shawsh Godfather is one of them. Schindler's List, Shawshank.
Fight Club is one of them.
Shawshank would be one of them.
I don't think Schindler's List is one, but Fight Club would be one of them.
I don't think Schindler's List is one.
I don't think that's one that you haven't seen.
Gladiator.
It's so heavy.
I've never seen Schindler's List.
Gladiator.
Gladiator is one.
300.
300.
Oh, that's close.
I don't know.
I have one that's new.
Braveheart? I have one that's new. Braveheart?
I have one that's new.
Oh, yeah, Braveheart.
I have one that's newer that I think is like this,
but it's not the test of time.
But every time I say I haven't seen this movie,
people lose their fucking minds.
Can I guess?
I don't think you will, but okay.
Oh, you said it's a newer movie?
Oh, my other one I was thinking of is Sixth Sense.
That's another one.
Oh, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
No, this one's even newer than that.
You said new.
That's what I remember.
What Women Want.
Nope.
I have seen that.
Bio Dome.
No, no, no.
Near Heads.
No, I'll just tell you.
We don't want you to guess for the rest of the show.
Step Brothers.
People lose their minds when I have a CD.
I've just never seen it. It's so good. See? I haven't seen it I've just never seen it
See
I haven't set it up
You know what though
But there's a series
It's frustrating
There's a series of those
Like wedding crashers
Oh you know what's the one
What's the one with
Hangover
Yeah hangover
Hangover's one of those
Or the other one
With the
You know their
What's the one
I hate
I never remember
Talladega Nights
No it's the same people
That make the hangover
Hangover wedding crashers?
Not for 40-year-olds.
Wedding crashers?
No, no, no.
I said wedding crashers.
Best friends, fun guys.
No, they're young.
They're in high school, and they're super bad.
Super bad is the one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, never seen Super Bad.
Never seen Step Brothers.
Oh.
Super Bad is like, look at them doing the thing.
I set it up.
Super Bad's not my movie.
Bro, I don't like comedies, bro.
I love high school comedies. My whole life is comedy, bro, I don't like comedies, bro. I love high school movies.
My whole life is comedy, bro.
Why do you like comedies?
When I go at home, I'm following up jokes.
Everyone's laughing.
I get Kristen.
I get Calvin.
Even Billy's starting to laugh, dude.
I get all the shit going.
So you're good.
Bro, when I want to sit down, I want to sit down.
I want to watch some seriously fucked up horrific shit.
You want to watch Lamb?
I want to watch Lamb.
I want to watch Bro. I saw this movie called Silence of the Lambs. Oh, to watch Lamb? I want to watch Lamb. I want to watch Bro.
I saw this movie called...
Silence of the Lambs is another one.
Oh, man.
Hey, I never saw Black Panther.
You never seen Silence of the Lambs?
Yeah, I have.
Oh, man.
But I'm just saying that's one of those ones.
That's one of them for sure, 100%.
You have to see Silence of the Lambs.
So good.
I think there's a list of 10.
If we had to pick our list of 10 movies...
Let's do it right now.
We'll go down a list.
Okay, okay.
There's a list of 10 movies
that we all think you have to have seen or watched.
Well, Godfather, for sure.
Inglourious Bastards.
Brendan.
Brendan.
Are you a –
God damn it, Brendan.
Inglourious Bastards.
My favorite movie.
At least pick fucking – what's it called?
Pulp Fiction.
Classic.
Classic.
Pulp Fiction's another one.
Yeah, Pulp Fiction.
Pulp Fiction.
Godfather.
Pulp Fiction.
Godfather.
Lord of the Rings.
I honestly – I honestly – I'll say –
I was trying to vibe with you.
I was trying to – I was trying to – I was trying to vibe with you. I was trying to.
I think.
I was trying to vibe with you on that.
I don't like Fight Club, but I think Fight Club is one of those.
No, no, no.
Because those type of movies, I don't think they count.
I don't think like a series, a sci-fi series.
No, no.
They don't count.
We're talking about like.
No, no, no.
Avatar is not one of them.
Actually. Well, it might be. Avatar is out there. Titanic is one of them. I think it's a different category. Avatar? We're talking about like... No, no, no. Avatar's not one of them. Actually...
Well, it might be.
Avatar's out there.
Titanic's one of them.
Oh!
Never seen Titanic.
No!
You can't!
No!
No!
Oh my God.
You've never seen Titanic?
And won't.
I won't watch it.
Oh my God.
Titanic's so good, dude.
I'm sure it's good.
It's worth a watch.
I'll watch it.
That makes me not want to watch it, but yeah.
I'll watch it.
Gladiator, Braveheart.
Is Titanic one of those, you think?
Absolutely.
All right.
Because at a certain point, it was the highest grossing movie of all time.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so Titanic, Godfather.
Gladiator.
Gladiator, I guess. Braveheart. Braveheart. We're talking a lot of... These are So, okay. Titanic, Godfather. Gladiator. Gladiator, I guess.
Braveheart.
Braveheart.
We're talking a lot of, these are recent though.
You know what's one sci-fi one that I would say people would say?
Star Wars.
Star Wars is one of those.
Terminator.
But the first one.
Terminator?
I don't think Terminator.
I don't think Terminator.
But wait.
You are talking.
Not the first one though, but maybe the sequel.
But you don't see the second one, you see the first one.
Predator?
A lot of people see the second when they didn't see the second.
I know.
They were 20 years apart.
I know, guys.
But let's get a little bit earlier, though.
What about Predator?
No, that's not one of those.
No.
You know what?
I'm on the fence on that one.
I don't think Predator is one of those.
Predator is one of those?
It might be.
But that's a very guy movie.
Tango and Cash?
Twins?
No, it's a very guy movie.
You're picking a lot of guy movies. Oh, I'm sorry Twins? No, it's a very guy movie.
You're picking a lot of guy movies.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Let's cock it up.
The Notebook is one of those. The Notebook is one of those.
Never seen it.
Never seen it, dude.
Never seen it and never will.
Oh, what about La La Land?
Hey, dude, I want you out of the podcast, dude.
I want you out.
I want you out.
Yeah, your choice.
The Notebook is definitely one of those.
Yeah, I've never seen it.
What are the older movies, though?
Hold on, though.
There's so many.
Gone with the Wind.
That's that one.
Casablanca.
I mean, not that old, dude.
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
That might be one of those.
That's one of those.
That's Home Alone.
Home Alone.
Home Alone.
One and two.
Do you all see Home Alone, though?
You've all seen it.
Yeah.
He hasn't seen Titanic.
No, no, no, because he was an adult.
Home Alone, that's all like- That's what I'm saying. Home Alone is one of those movies. We were all under 15. You haven't seen- You've all seen it. Yeah. He hasn't seen Titanic. No, no, no, because he was an adult. Home Alone, that's all like-
That's what I'm saying.
Home Alone is one of those movies.
We were all under 15.
If you haven't seen-
You've all seen Home Alone, right?
If you haven't seen Home Alone, that's insane.
It's insane.
Okay, hear me out here.
Okay.
Don't kick me out.
Sandlot.
That's one of those.
As a kid?
Could be one of those.
As a kid?
That's a good one.
I don't know if that's-
You've never seen-
Stand By Me.
Never seen it.
Ooh, that's a sad movie.
You've never seen Stand By Me?
Dude, he dies by bees.
I need more of these. There's a lot of movies I haven't seen that I probably should have seen, You've never seen Stand By Me? Dude, he dies by bees. I need more of these.
There's a lot of movies I haven't seen that I probably should have seen.
Yeah, Stand By Me.
Goodfellas?
That's one of them.
Probably, yeah.
You got to see it.
Yeah, but then like a fringe one would be like Casino.
Right.
But it's like they're all the same.
My brother's favorite movie is Casino.
Really?
I'm surprised.
The ending bums me out.
Well, it's a mob movie.
It would bum me out.
The fucking one.
Beat the Brothers? buns me out but yeah well it's a mob movie yeah it would buy me out the when they beat the brothers
it seems the one where the guy's like uh that guy's solid he's good but that's good fellas
all right would he kill it they kill the guy i love that i don't know the way he said it he was
like he's a good fella um yeah are we sure you know that was the end of it that's how we're
gonna get rid of one of them. Are we missing anything?
Chin's cool, right?
We're missing a lot.
If you go comedy, what if you go Ace Ventura, The Mask,
Something About Mary.
How about that?
Something About Mary.
This is good because just comedies.
Something About Mary.
Great one.
You never saw that?
I never liked that.
Stuck on you?
Oh, you're so stupid.
Ace Ventura.
I just showed Calvin Ace Ventura.
That was, I will never forget that. Ace Ventura. I just showed Calvin Ace Ventura. That was, I will never forget that.
Ace Ventura.
Because he was going like this.
He was like, oh, this is what you're trying to be, Dad.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, right.
Dude, Ace Ventura was obviously my favorite shit.
I got another one for you.
Meet the Parents.
Yeah, it's okay.
That's out there.
Cult classic.
The boys are on their heads.
It's just okay.
You guys are with me
because we're normal human beings my heartwarming story but i was watching ace ventura because ace
ventura was my shit like i loved ace ventura obviously i was very influenced by fucking
jim carrey i love jim carrey but by um he's vibing now yeah he's vibing oh he's vibing um
i bought some of his art did you no oh wait so i can't afford it. Yeah. Yeah. True. He,
I was like,
I just got,
you know,
these things happen.
We're like,
Oh wait,
I should show my son this.
I showed him.
Dude,
the fucking thing with the package in the beginning when he was like,
got there and it says fragile and he's just like,
yeah.
Calvin thought that was the funniest fucking thing.
Oh,
I got one.
And he was like,
and he was like,
he got a box and he's kicking the box all around the house.
I'm Ace Ventura.
Yeah. Dude, it's the cutest. Austin Powers is another one. Yeah, that's one. And he was like, he got a box, and he's kicking the box all around the house. I'm Ace Ventura. Yeah.
Austin Powers is another one. Yeah, that's one.
That is one. Austin Powers is a freaking classic.
Yeah, that's up there.
Yeah, I'm talking about... But then, like, even all those, like, if you think about classic...
See, my classic comedies,
Eddie Murphy's, like, five of them.
Right, right. What about Boys in the Hood?
Coming to America, Trading Places, you know.
Menace to Society? No. Brendan. Menace to Society? No, Brendan.
Menace to Society?
I'm not saying it's not a good movie.
Have you seen Menace to Society?
Yeah, it's good.
Everyone has.
They're Americans.
I've never seen it.
Tyron Turner.
I'm saying the movie is not good.
Many, many people have not seen Menace to Society. No, that's not true Many It's a They're classics though Many people have not seen
They're all classics
I guess
No that's not true
Here's a whole other classic category
Okay
Soundtrack was lit
Ha
Mean Girls
Seen it?
Never seen it
Legally Blonde
Seen it?
Yeah
Ten Things I Hate About You
Seen it?
Pitch Perfect
Clueless
These are all really great
He's doing
No no no no
You're
The out of this
What did he say?
Pitch Perfect
No
It's not in the same category.
No, stupid.
Clueless.
You're right.
These are all those.
Wow, you hit five bang on right there.
Yeah, yeah.
Beverly Hills Cop.
Ten things I hate about you.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
That's Beverly Hills Cop.
But by the way, top five.
That's a fucking classic.
Maybe.
That's top five comedy of all time.
Comedy.
First 48.
Top five comedy for sure.
Maybe.
It might be my number one.
First 48? I don't know. Coming to America, the. Top five comedy for sure. Maybe, might be my number one. First 48?
I don't know.
Coming to America,
the original is funnier than that.
Nah, nah.
Are you kidding me?
No, not that Beverly Hills Cop.
It's not.
Beverly Hills Cop way better.
And then also,
what's the Hercules?
Hercules.
No, you're crazy.
Oh, what is that?
Nutty Professor.
Nutty Professor?
You're crazy.
Are you kidding me?
Oh, that's up there.
He was playing five characters.
Unreal.
No, that's not,
we're all these ugly people. Ten things I hate about number. We're all ugly people.
Ten things I hate about you.
First of all,
the way it's filmed.
The guy does a lot
of one shot,
long shots.
I don't think I've ever seen this.
Oh, you got to see this.
That shit is classic.
That's a fucking classic.
That's a classic teen movie.
Are we talking about this
too much though?
No.
Oh, I got one for you.
I got one for you.
What?
Calm down.
We have said a lot of movies.
We have said a lot of movies and it is a Christmas episode. It has nothing to do with that. Hold on. Last one. Jingle all the way. I got one for you. What? Calm down. We have said a lot of movies. Everyone calm down. We have said a lot of movies, and it is a Christmas episode.
It has nothing to do with that.
Hold on.
Last one.
Jingle all the way.
Ready?
Jingle all the way.
Fuck you.
Hey, Nightmare Before Christmas.
Go.
Talk about it.
That's a huge classic.
That's a huge classic.
Calvin loves it.
If you want to talk about Christmas movies, any Scrooged?
Didn't see it, but I want to.
You never seen Scrooged?
And you're a Bill Murray fan?
I will see it.
I didn't see it.
Fuck you, dude. I just made the joke about the Bill Murray thing. Oh never seen Scrooge? And you're a Bill Murray fan? I will see it. I didn't see it. Fuck you, dude.
I just made the joke about the Bill Murray thing.
Oh, I thought because you loved him when he was a kid.
That one, Scrooge, is the best version of the Christmas Carol.
Yes.
Okay, hold on.
The other great Christmas movie is, what's the one where he wishes he wasn't alive?
Oh, Wonderful Life.
Wonderful Life.
Yeah, a beautiful movie.
Don't say beautiful.
No, it's a beautiful piece.
And honestly, it's gorgeous. Yeah, a beautiful movie. Don't say beautiful. No, it's a beautiful piece. And honestly, it's gorgeous.
It's a gorgeous piece.
The film, filmatically and just thematically,
the cinema is beautiful.
You've got to see it on big screen.
You've got to see that one on big screen.
What about, oh, ready?
If we're talking about Ace Ventura,
oh, you know, you guys won't vibe on this.
You don't like Adam Sandler movies.
Oof.
Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore.
I only like one Adam Sandler movie.
Big Daddy.
Which one is it?
Murder Mystery
The first one
Which was the best one
The second one
Tank
Oh his new animation
For the kiddos
Leo and Bill Burrs
The turtle in it
Fantastic
I watched it
So hold on
God damn it
Jingle All The Way
Is the best Christmas movie
You're gay dude
Have you seen it?
Are you crazy?
You're so funny
What are you talking about?
It's so funny
I get to get the turbo man And and Sinbad's in it, dude.
Sinbad is the funniest motherfucker.
You're talking about you don't watch comedies, but that's your comedy?
Because that's your comedy?
That's why.
That's why.
He does bad-tasting comedy.
So we're doing bad comedy lists right now, then.
For me, it would be The Golden Child.
That would be my worst, best comedy. That's an Eddie Murphy movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. be The Golden Child. That would be my worst, best.
That's an Eddie Murphy movie.
I want the knife.
All right.
I don't know what that is.
Please.
All right.
So we're talking way too much about movies.
At least we got onto Christmas movies.
You ready for a hot take?
Best Eddie Murphy movie?
Ready?
Go.
Life.
No.
Go kill yourself.
You have to leave.
That's top 10. No, we have to escort. Burning back you you have to leave that's that's top 10 no we have to escort
burning back we have to look at the people under 50 everyone's like this i don't want you to life
that's not even a top that's not a top 10 eddie murphy look at him that's not a top 10 eddie
murphy you guys are voted out of this if this if Survivor, you guys are out. Give me that cornbread.
You can eat your cornbread.
What are the other nine anymore?
I never saw Life.
Oh, my God.
It's funny.
It's one of the greatest movies of all time, dude.
There and there's where I hate you.
And there's where it happened.
I liked you up until then.
You looked in my eyes and you said it.
I did, dude.
It hurt me.
I like bad boys more than Life.
That's gay.
We're talking about movies too much, dude.
We're talking about this.
It's great.
We're passionate about it.
His nephew has a podcast called Movies and More.
That's not our job.
It's fair.
What's this guy want?
Okay.
I'll tell you.
I got to fucking order.
Hey, what's up, guys?
Chris, I'll see you in Oxnard.
Thanks for the tickets. I got an idea for you guys for a name game uh christmas carols um name them out i mean there's
gotta be a couple of them you guys could probably think of the jank the christmas ones it's the
holiday so christmas spirit i guess thanks love you guys thanks buddy we'll see you in oxnard
you know what i gotta say yeah why is he in an iron lung?
Yeah.
But hold on.
He sounds like he's in an iron lung.
But let me just tell you,
and I know this is not really a popular fucking take.
Well, it probably is, but people are always hating on it.
You're bitching out.
What?
You're bitching out.
Okay, okay.
I fucking, and you're going to agree with me on this.
I don't know if he will or not.
I'm listening.
But I love Christmas music, dude.
I love Christmas music.
I don't like Michael Buble. He makes me very angry. dude. I love Christmas music. I don't like Michael Buble.
He makes me very angry.
That is different than Christmas music.
Dude, he's Mr. Christmas.
Well, okay,
but there are a lot of Mr. Christmases.
Everyone has a Christmas album.
Frank Sinatra,
Dean Martin,
I mean, it goes along.
The list is long.
Now I'm on board.
Okay, but what I'm saying is
I love Christmas music.
I love it.
I love hearing it.
I enjoy it.
But only after December 15th.
Oh, really? I thought you were going to...
It has to be after December 15th. It's the most
wonderful time. When you hear that shit,
you go, it is the most wonderful time
of the year. You know? Unless they do it with cats.
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell
rock. There's so many. Silent
night. Now you go, I'm ready for bed. This is awesome.
I'm ready. Santa, come on.
Santa, come on.
It's just nice, bro. I love it.
This is how we're going to decide the gifts.
Chin and I are the only one that brought gifts.
You play the name game. Really? I brought gifts.
Oh, did you? Not me, dude.
I'm 43.
I was going to say the losers of the name game
have to bring me and Chin's gifts home.
Okay, what's the name game?
The Christmas carols. Just listen.
Oh, got it.
Okay. Oh, like how we did with the other one.
Okay.
All right, Silent Night.
Brendan Lund.
No, it's Christmas songs?
Yes.
Jingle Bells.
Okay, good.
Rudolph.
Sorry, I was about to lose And just be like Holy night
We said silent night
I think that's a song
Oh is it
Oh I said silent night
Holy night is what it is
But no
I'm going to say
Jingle bell rock
I mean
No
It's a different song
Jingle bell
Jingle bell
Jingle all the way
Jingle bell
Jingle bell
Jingle bell rock
Jingle around the clock
Mean girls
That's mean girls
That's the song they sing When they all dress up like this.
Mix and a mingle and a jingle bell.
All the spirit is taken out of that.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
What's some of Frank Sinatra's slappers for the Christmas one?
Michael Buble's, Clay Aikens, Mariah Carey's.
Mariah Carey's.
Use your limit on saying Michael Buble.
What about Mariah Carey's Christmas special? Mariah Carey's. You've used your limit on saying Michael Buble. What about Mariah Carey's Christmas special?
Mariah Carey's Christmas special.
She's missed Christmas.
Yeah, but you have to say the song.
What the fuck is the song?
Mariah Carey's Christmas special.
White Christmas.
White Christmas.
Oh, my God.
All I want from her.
That's what I was going to do, right?
Because that's how you think of Mariah Carey.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All I want from her.
Little drummer boy.
Even that one's nice.
Oh, that one slaps.
How about when they go
brrrumba bum bum brrrumba bum bum
brrrumba bum bum
Dude, that's awesome when it goes.
I love it.
What about Nightbird for Christmas?
What's this? It's magic in the air.
What's this?
I'm out.
You got to bring a gift home.
All right.
Who wants a gift?
He goes, what's this?
What's this?
I'm out.
My favorite is five golden trees.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's that?
What's called?
Twelve Days of Christmas.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves. How about O Christmas Tree? O Christmas Tree. Or the O called? 12 Days of Christmas. Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge.
How about O Christmas Tree?
Or the German version, O Tannenbaum?
Ooh.
Ooh.
All right.
He did it right with the O, too.
It's not O-H.
It's just O.
Yeah, it's getting down to the wire here.
There's so many more Christmas songs?
Let's see.
I got one.
I know.
I don't know the name.
I could go again.
Joy to the World?
Oh, there you go.
I can sing them.
Rudolph.
Oh, you did it.
No!
You bitched into taking gifts home.
So what did we take home?
That was like when Chris quit Goldeneye when we were playing.
What did I do?
You quit the game.
You just exited the game.
Oh, yes, I remember.
I beat the fuck out of that.
It wasn't as fun as I remember.
All right, so.
This is my daycare.
So wait, what do I have to take home?
You can pick one of the gifts on the table.
I'll pick this one.
I'll pick that one.
It's smaller.
Give me the pink one.
You're welcome, Chris.
And then Brendan will get the other one.
Oh, this is from Jen?
Yeah.
Does anyone wear a size large?
Who wears a large, though?
Oh, what a great wrapping job, Jen.
I was thinking Nick on this.
Oh, okay.
I feel like you'd rock it.
It's just spiders.
There's two gifts in there.
Oh, really? I get two?
Bro, is this space food?
No, it's for camping.
You take your kids.
You take your boys camping.
That'll give you diarrhea.
All right.
Well, I'll try that.
And that's the kind of thing Chin got that in some free box.
No, dude.
They're expensive, man.
Is this a kite?
No.
So that's for if you go fishing with your boys.
Yeah.
Right?
And you find a nice spot.
You take that little lead thing off, mark it.
So if you're on a boat, you don't lose that spot.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow, dude.
I'll never use this.
I know.
This is a beer kit.
And if you want to look like Khabib.
Why is it UFC?
It's a UFC beer kit.
So if you want to look like Khabib, you put this beer kit on.
What?
I don't have a beard anymore
well
you will
you can have a beard
use it for your mustache
oh yeah
beard kit
thanks man
you're welcome
dude Brendan comes
Brendan comes in next week
he's just got
wow that thing really works
a thick Dagestanian beard
yeah
wow
this is
hilarious
like all these guys get paid
yeah
to be on this
big time
that's so weird.
Oh, but that must be an electric razor.
Is that what that is?
Thanks, Chin.
I'll try these.
So what do you do with this?
I feel like you'd rock that hat, Nick.
If you're camping, just put boiling water in there.
You don't wear hats?
I don't really wear hats.
If you're camping, Chris.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which I'll never do in my house.
I'll do it in my house.
I'll eat this for dinner.
I got some Bare Knuckle MMA gear for you if you want it.
They sent me a ton of stuff.
I would take a tee.
And that's a street truck magazine shirt.
My truck will be featured on the magazine.
I love it.
Thanks, man.
Thanks, man.
I love it, dude.
I said Rudolph, huh?
That sucks.
Yeah, you're stupid.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him. I, you're stupid. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose.
If you ever saw him, you could even say it glows.
I really don't like singing with people.
What is that?
I don't like singing with people.
What is that?
You're selfish.
Oh, because you're a narcissist.
I don't know if it's that, though, dude.
Like, selfish.
You know what it is?
No, you think he's a better singer.
No, it's not that.
You think you're better than Eric?
You're the guy in karaoke. You're the guy in karaoke.
You're the guy in karaoke.
You're at the karaoke like, guys, guys, guys, guys.
Guys, listen.
Listen.
You guys have to listen.
Stop smiling.
It's good.
Yeah, and he's doing like boys to men, which is supposed to be a group.
Yeah, dude.
Um, dum, dum, da, ba, ya, ya, ya, da.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Dum, dum, dum, da, da. What's this?
This is the funniest college football player names of 2023.
You guys want to read some names?
Okay.
General Booty.
General Booty.
Come on.
A white guy.
Number one.
The coldest Crawford.
The coldest.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on a second.
I've heard that. you haven't heard that to watch no but but like what i'm thinking about is i i see these parents uh-huh
when they were figuring this name out oh it's hilarious they were just sitting around and
do you know the dad came up with this oh uh 100 percent that mom was like coldest and he's like no no nah
and he's white right no go to go to the white guy no we're there oh crazy i thought it'd be
a white guy oh yeah yeah right general booty is is is yeah is is a bonkers name yeah that's like
what are you what are you talking about that's a bonkers name you Yeah, that's like, what are you talking about?
That's a bonkers name.
Let me see the other one's name.
And what if he had one?
Here's the thing, too.
If he got an ass on him.
Yeah, General Booty.
If he got an ass on him, he should be like, yo!
Name his son Lieutenant.
Somebody got that presidential booty.
Lieutenant and General Booty.
Rowdy Bears is cool.
Rowdy Bears.
He looks like a good time child.
He sure looks like a good time Charlie.
He sure looks like a Rowdy Beers.
Mobility.
Mobility.
Mobility.
Mobility.
Now he springs his ankle.
He's fucking setting us back 10 years.
Shida Silla?
Hold on. You're going too fast Nick.
Shida?
Shida?
Shida's tough.
Silla?
It's got to be like Shida.
Shida.
Shida or Shida, something like that.
Shitta?
It can be Shitta.
But in school, it was Shitta.
Oh, in school it was Dookie.
What's up, shit?
Like the first roll call.
You know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shida, Shitta.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's boo-boo.
All right.
The realist.
The realist Clark.
With a Y.
And he goes to Defiance College.
Bro, with a Y.
With a Y.
Defiance College.
No one ever spells this motherfucker's name right.
Well, you can't.
The realist.
The realist?
The realist.
I don't know.
The realist.
Dude person. Now I'm into this. He looks like a The realist? The realist. I don't know. The realist. Dude person.
Now I'm into this.
He looks like a nice guy.
This I'm into.
He looks like a real friendly guy.
That's good.
Dude person is great.
Dude person is great.
He's like an NPC.
Dude person.
Dude person is great.
Dude person.
That's fantastic.
They should put him on dude person.
That's fantastic.
If you were a comic and your name was Dude Person, that would be so dope.
Yeah, you'd get sick of talking about it.
Right.
But it would get easier getting famous, though.
Come to the stage!
Yeah, Dude Person.
Who's this guy, Dude Person?
Dude Person.
Next.
Memorable factor.
Linebacker.
That's...
Wait, hold on.
That's...
Looks like he's about to catch a case.
That's the worst one. hold on That's Looks like he's about to catch a case That's the worst one
Yeah
Memorable
Factor
And what's the nickname for this guy
Mem
Memmy
What do you call him
I bet they just call him Factor
Yeah probably call him Factor
Factor
What's that guy's name
I forgot
Hey hey
Very good
I hate those kinds of jokes
I know but you didn't put
Yeah you didn't put yeah you didn't
yeah
you really could have sold that
I'd throw him away
you'd throw him away
Fat Watts
that's fine
Fat Watts
I mean that's just
that's a cool name
that sounds like a jazz musician
you know
hell yeah
yeah yeah
Fat Watts
Panda Askew
wow
get this
get that shit off the screen
Tiger Shanks
well I mean
Shanks but with Shanks it the screen Tiger Shanks but with Shanks
Tiger Shanks
and literally
your kid is going to be on this list
Tiger Shaw is not Tiger Shanks
Shanks is something
both of them
because it's two weird first and last
I'm Tiger and I shank you
that's a weird name
what is it?
Kavassia Smoke
Oh my
That's so black
That's great
That is so black
That is the blackest name I've ever seen
I like how he innately just knew how to pronounce it
Yeah yeah
I was even gonna try
I'm like
Is he tagestani?
It sounds like a
Kavassia
I thought it was like one of the tagestani
Hey hey There's Spanish in that bitch Kavassia Yeah yeah K-V-A-C-A. I thought it was like one of the Dagestani.
Hey, there's Spanish in that bitch.
K-V-A-C-A.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a stripper name.
Kool-Aid.
That's terrible.
Okay, wow.
Just a brand.
Pig Cage.
Are you shitting me?
Pig Cage.
Is that a name?
That's such a cool last name and they ruined it.
Pig Cage?
Pig Cage.
Yeah, yeah.
Cage, cool last name.
He ruined it.
Oh, thank God he's in shape
because that would be terrible.
Like if he got fat at all,
you can't be Pig Cage.
Jaden Musgrave.
That's weird.
That's stupid.
Parker Titsworth.
He's all chubby.
That's a British.
Oh, hello.
I'm Parker Titsworth.
Hello.
I'm Mr. Titsworth to you.
Yeah, for the royal squeezing.
It's like, what's that show I was telling you about, The Tudors?
He would be the guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He'd be the come catcher.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got to roll my Uber chair.
All right.
Later, Titsworth.
See you later, bro.
What?
Well, both of us are always Titsworth.
Not just you.
Storm Duck.
All right, see you later.
Storm Duck.
Storm Duck.
But yeah, but we should keep going with these.
Yeah, yeah.
Just because it's Christmassy.
Yeah.
Yeah, see you, bro.
Yeah.
Storm Duck.
Is that it?
That's it, Nick?
Oh, my God.
Dodge Saucer?
Jesus Christ.
That's a car.
The new Dodge Saucer.
The new Toyota Dodge Saucer.
Zero to 60 in four minutes.
Fish McWilliams?
Jesus Christ.
That sounds like a white name.
Fish McWilliams, dude?
You can get that at McDonald's.
I'll get one Fish McWilliams.
Can I give a Fish McWilliams to the guy in the Dodge fucking...
What was it?
Saucer.
Saucer. Two Fish McWilliams to the guy in the Dodge fucking, what was it? Saucer. Dodge Saucer.
Two Fish McMillions, please.
Chief Borders.
Chief Borders.
That's not terrible.
Nah, it's all right.
I mean, it's bad, but with this list, it's great.
Yeah.
Is that it?
Oh, wow.
Major Burns.
That's pretty funny.
Yeah.
That's it.
All right.
Wow.
Those are dumbass names.
God bless us, everyone. Yeah. Yeah, thanks. Thanks for keeping it. All right. Wow. Those are dumbass names. God bless us, everyone.
Yeah.
Yeah, thanks.
Thanks for keeping it Christmassy.
All right, guys.
Thank you for watching the Christmas episode of Golden Hour.
The Golden Hour.
My tickets are on sale.
Phoenix.
God, I got a lot of Vancouver.
I got a lot of dates that just came out.
When is this coming out?
This is our 21st, right? So, yeah. Okay, guys. Brea. I'll a lot of Vancouver. I got a lot of dates that just came out. When is this coming out? This is our 21st, right?
So, yeah.
Okay, guys.
Brea.
I'll be in Brea.
You got to get to Quesada.
Made it up.
Comedy Cantina.
Made it up.
In New Mexico.
I'll be there.
Outside of Albuquerque at the casino.
That sounds like one of the players.
29th and 30th.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And also, from the bottom of my heart, Chin, thank you for this beef stroganoff
that I can eat in outer space
and then this where I can park my boat.
And I will be taking Brendan's gift.
Hold on to your jingle bells.
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