The Golden Hour - Episode 100: The Return of Deric

Episode Date: December 18, 2020

In celebration of episode 100 the gang introduces an All New Set, watches Special Messages from Pall Wall, Chris Distefano and more, reminisce on Old KATS Videos and talk Only Fan...s, Kissable Comedians and debut All New Music from - King and the Sting The Album, including the premiere of Thicc Boy Anthem and a Music Video Premiere of Cat Call along with much more!HelloFresh - https://hellofresh.com/80kats use code: 80katsHims - https://forhims.com/katsButcher Box - https://butcherbox.com/katsBlue Nile - https://bluenile.com/ use code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Take your time, dude. You could kiss Lucy Kay, Dave Chappelle. Oh, Dave Chappelle. Dane Cook would make out with you. Nick Swartzen. Here's the thing. Nick Swartzen would definitely make out with you. Bill Bellamy.
Starting point is 00:00:09 Yeah. Ooh. I'd shit out you, Bill. What's in the world? Dang, dang. Buzz Buzz. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together.
Starting point is 00:00:22 It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. What are you up, man? Throw him up. Throw him up. Pop, pop, pop, pop. This one's going to be right at the camera.
Starting point is 00:00:33 Ooh. Dude, we're balling. Look at all these cameras. We're balling. We stole Howard Stern's set. What's up? Howard Stern just signed that $600 million deal. Did he?
Starting point is 00:00:44 Yep. Howard Stern did? $120 a year. He said, Joe Rogan, hold my beer signed that $600 million deal. Did he? Yep. Howard Stern did? 120 a year. He said, Joe Rogan, hold my beer, dog. He got more than Rogan? Yeah. Unbelievable. Well, yeah, he did.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Well, the overall deal. Yeah. Wow. Rogan's like Deshaun Watson, and then Howard Stern's like Patrick Mahomes. Longer deal, more money. More money. But then one's more entertaining than the other. Rogan's way better.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Let's be real. Guys, we have a new studio. New studio, huh? Yeah. I walked in and was like, where am I? New studio, also Nick's new apartment. Yes, Nick's new apartment. Let's be real.
Starting point is 00:01:20 That couch is way too comfortable for just the culture corner. I did find a pair of boxers back there in the morning. I fucking knew it. We should, episode 100, we got a special guest here all the way from, is it fair to say Nashville, D? I don't know where you're at these days. I don't live anywhere no more, Doug. You're just a roadie. I'm a fucking roadie, baby.
Starting point is 00:01:37 You're a little lot lizard, Doug. Yeah, we're all getting around now, son. I'm getting around. You're a bag of bonds. Where you living these days? Ooh, look at that head of hair. Oh, damn, Doug. That shit's fly. Thank now, son. I'm getting around. You're a bag of bonds. Where are you living these days? Ooh, look at that. Oh, damn, Doug. That shit's fly.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Thank you, bro. That quarantine haircut. Yeah, bro. I'm keeping it fresh. It's coming in thick, man. Have you been treating it or something? What you doing with it? Conditioning.
Starting point is 00:01:56 And you know what I'm saying? I'm letting my girl play in it. Ooh. That shit's dope. You thinking about braiding it up, maybe? Yo, I think I am going to get the fucking Lamar Jackson. I'm not even kidding. Those ones, that's what I'm going to get.
Starting point is 00:02:09 That is not Derek's hair. Come on, baby, that's me. That's the goat, right? That's the goat. That's George Jefferson right there, man. I feel like everyone during quarantine has grown their hair out. Look at my shit. I'm actually putting some highlights in it tomorrow and cutting it to a man bun.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Who do you think? George Jefferson or Richard Jefferson? In a fight? Overall. Wait, from the Nets? Yeah. You talking about RJ? Now, RJ hosts a podcast now, and they have LeBron on there every other week crying about something.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Well, I saw that episode. Right? LeBron was like, Kyrie hurt my feelings. He said, I'm not a clutch shooter I'm like bitch You're worth a billion dollars Why the fuck you care What other people say
Starting point is 00:02:49 Who do you think here though We're saying looks wise Are we just talking about Hairline or actual fight Just overall Who would you rather be You think Richard or Is the guy on the left dead
Starting point is 00:02:57 Oh Or George Is homeboy on the left dead George passed away Yeah George passed God he was talented Yeah man Yeah super talented
Starting point is 00:03:04 Roast machine RJ is a beast too though now Want some rings With the Miami Heat Dead? George passed away, yeah. Yeah, George passed away. God, he was talented. Yeah, man. Yeah, he's super talented. Roast machine. RJ is a beast too, though, now. Won some rings with the Miami Heat. But where did RJ grow up? Because Jefferson came from the bottom, man. He worked his way up. Yeah. They moved on up.
Starting point is 00:03:17 They moved on up. Yeah, to the east side. He's back to the bottom now. To a deluxe apartment. In the sky. Mm-hmm. They did it, man. George Jefferson. Born in Harlem. Wow. apartment in the sky they did it man george is born in harlem wow 236 episodes of the jefferson
Starting point is 00:03:30 born in harlem in 1929 yep wow and then rj he i bet it was someplace with a silver spoon in his mouth he seems yeah i'd rather be george no wow you guys are hating on all rookie team his parents are christian missionaries around frequently growing up. He attended Moon Valley. Born in L.A. and then went to school in Phoenix. Good early life. There you go. Phoenix represent, dog.
Starting point is 00:03:53 Shout out to Phoenix, baby. Wow. So, yeah, I'm saying George Jefferson. I'm saying George Jefferson for me. Shin looks like he owns the hottest wok in L.A. Look at him. Yeah, dude. Dude, we're in a new studio.
Starting point is 00:04:02 That jacket's fire. You're even talking about it. The new studio? Yeah. It's very Howard Stern. Shout out to Nick Davis and his girls setting this Yeah, dude. Dude, we're in a new studio. That jacket's fire. You're even talking about it. The new studio? Yeah. It's very Howard Stern. Shout out to Nick Davis and his girls setting this up, man. They did it overnight, bro. Yeah, it looks great in here. This is so dope, Nick.
Starting point is 00:04:13 And a large majority of today, as you guys were here for when we did it. We have 19 cameras now. Are we in 3D? We have been, actually. 360 on Patreon. I'll only meet me at 20. You can see the whole studio in the room.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Wow. I still have no idea what that looks like, though. I've never seen it. Yeah, I've never seen it. Now, fans can pick the 360 option, zoom in on Kat's feet and mouth. Okay, here's the thing. If anyone's going to make money off of my feet, it's going to be me. Well, get to it.
Starting point is 00:04:45 In my mouth? In my mouth? Yeah. I was thinking what I think people would do out there, you know? They ain't just into feet. Yeah, maybe I should start an OnlyFans then if people are zooming in anyways. Yeah, charge a little extra dollar and then you can zoom in on whatever you want. Oh, well, maybe not whatever you want.
Starting point is 00:05:01 You can zoom in on Theo's upper lip, whatever you want, dog. See? Get it. Wait, the upper lip? Why not the bottom lip the bottom like that's the good But well, we can see the bottom can see the upper you gotta really look into I'm pretty crunk that's new studio Derek's here hell's there chins here Nick's here Paul walls here. Oh See live me is not oh, thank God. I Wall's here. Oh, shit. What? Is he live? He is not.
Starting point is 00:05:27 Oh, thank God. I'm not ready for this. But he's still alive. Yeah, yeah. Damn, look at that grill, son. Grillrilla, baby. Dude, and he ripped on fucking Little Brow's album. Ripped it.
Starting point is 00:05:38 He did. Have you heard that track yet? I haven't heard it yet. Oof. You haven't heard the Thick Boy Anthem either? Oof. With Mike Studd and Jelly Roll? Do you got that album, Nick?
Starting point is 00:05:49 Oh, wait, I have heard some of it, yeah. I'm going to try to get the Paul Wall one from Browse as we move on. I'll text you the anthem right now with Mike Studd and fucking Jelly Roll. Are we going to have an album listening party? We should. We should. That can be the next Cats After Dark. Damn. That's a good idea.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Let's turn up in here. But Paul Wall, as did a number of people, was proud of us for reaching 100 episodes. A couple people sent in congratulations videos, and we'll start with Paul's. Feel free to stop him at any time. Maybe not Paul's, but we've got some other characters that you might want to react to.
Starting point is 00:06:27 What it do? It's your boy, Paul Wilde. Got us some big congrats out. Big congrats to the king in the spring, D.O. Brendan. What's up, baby? Yes. 100 episodes in.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Okay. Yeah, man. I'm going to be a guest on one of your episodes. Can't wait to come back, man. Y'all keep pushing, man. I'm a big fan. I love y'all, man. I'm going to be a guest on one of your episodes. Can't wait to come back, man. Y'all keep pushing, man. I'm a big fan. Love y'all, man. Already 100 episodes.
Starting point is 00:06:53 I love it. Wow, bro. Looks like he was in a phantom or some shit. Dude, man, that's crazy, bro. Who would have known when we started this journey, Paul Wall would be a fan and featured in it. He's got that enamel. It's just bedazzled, man.
Starting point is 00:07:10 It's a beautiful smile. You still haven't got a front from him? Uh-uh. I've got to go. When I go to Houston, I'm going to go down there. Because that's bedazzled up. That is. Now, would you get bedazzled?
Starting point is 00:07:20 Would you do just the bottom, or are you going to do top and bottom? I'll do top and bottom. See, I think if you just bottomed, that shit would look lit. You have a good set of teeth for it, I think. You can't see my bottoms very much, so. Wait, smile? Only if I do like that, because otherwise Oh, you got an underbite?
Starting point is 00:07:35 Or overbite, one of them. They don't tell you which is which. No, I'll tell you. Yeah, you have an underbite. Then why'd you ask me? I wanted you to acknowledge that you have it instead of me just calling you out. You look like a British bull you. Yeah, you have an underbite. Then why'd you ask me? Because I wanted you to acknowledge that you have it instead of me just calling you out. Let me think. You look like a British bulldog.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Yeah. That shit's dope. Like a French bulldog. Like a French bulldog. What would you give? Oh, I want the fangs. Oh, the fangs? The two vampire fangs, bro.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Oh, that would look dope. Come on, bro. Right? And I can do that? Right there? See, I want just one gold one. Just, oh, like an auntie. Like a wet band. Right? And I can do that? See, I want just one gold one. Like an auntie.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Like a wet band. Yeah, like an auntie. I feel like I would go for either the fangs or the one diamond on one of the... Now that Gabby Labby, who we had on the last episode, she had one. I think it was a crystal. I don't think it was a diamond. I think it was a crystal.
Starting point is 00:08:24 She had a geode or something. I don't think it was a crystal. I don't think it was a diamond. I think it was a crystal. She had a geode or something. Geode. Yeah. I don't think it was a real diamond. She had that geode on there. Call me crazy. Look at this. Those things go hard.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Nice grills. That's what Chappelle can do with his gap. Just fill it in with a little diamond. Chappelle, get that diamond. Hey, gap teeth, baby. Come on. Yeah. Get that diamond back strap in the middle, Chappelle. Nick's got one, too. He can, get that diamond. Hey, Gattee, baby, come on. Yeah. Get that diamond backstrap in the middle, Chappelle.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Nick's got one, too. He can do it, too. Nick's got to do it with me. Nick looks like Paul Wall, dude, like an Amish Paul Wall. A little bit. A little bit. Do it side by side with you and Paul Wall, Nick. Paul Wall on Rump Springer.
Starting point is 00:08:59 Paul Wall, baby. Yeah. Yeah, Paul's over the wall. And out into the world Damn I gotta confess guys he's not even a fan of the show It's been me the whole time Damn he looks cool He did a good job
Starting point is 00:09:16 Skin looks good He lost weight His wife does workout videos too Is she like a Instagram fitness instructor? Fitness lady Is she working on her fitness? And we're her witness? I don't know
Starting point is 00:09:35 I know Jelly Rolls girl does the OnlyFans thing She's killing it She does amazing for herself She got him that Rolex for his B-Day Oh yeah That old diamond rolly. He's got himself a boss. If he's bringing in that type of money.
Starting point is 00:09:51 That OnlyFans bag. Would y'all do OnlyFans? I would do on it. My question is immediately no. My answer is immediately no. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a businessman as they say in the streets depends what i have to do on there i'm trying to post some dick pics all the time what if someone wants like photos of you and a thong just like behind like your ass yeah
Starting point is 00:10:16 i feel like it's a bad look i got kids and then people screenshot it and then gets blasted out like our boy yeah but like like our boy tiger like his dick pic went viral yeah but that was good i think it went well for him yeah he has a great day that was a good move yeah it was a good move very good move way better than captain america's dick pic oh yeah see that wasn't captain america's wasn't bad it was just he could have done better there could have been a better photo yeah yeah right it was like brett forbes what else you got nick photo. Yeah. What else you got, Nick? Nick passed away.
Starting point is 00:10:49 There he is. Oh, is that that 360? I was getting in my Paul Wall uniform. Run back real quick. What camera's that? We have 19 cameras in there. That's not the only guy who sent in a video. Paul Wall, baby.
Starting point is 00:11:07 I'm the people's champ. Oh shit, you're looking sleepy, babe. Oh, it's Chrissy... Chrissy Teigen. It's Chrissy Bitch Shit. Chrissy Fatass, I don't know, Chrissy... Whatever. He says he has a face for TV and a body for radio. He has a body
Starting point is 00:11:23 of like a... He has kind of like an ice skater body. He has like a lunch lady body. Speed track, not the dancer. He has a boxy body. Apollo Anton Ono? No, he wishes. I met Apollo Ono one time. He came on your show?
Starting point is 00:11:40 Didn't he kiss you on the show? What? Chris DiStefano, not Apollo Anton Ono, and she is correct. Chris DiStefano. Chris DiStefano. He tried to, but I was straight. You pushed him away? Did you tell him no means no?
Starting point is 00:11:53 Huh? I told him no one time. These are man-on-man preventatives. Look, something that people aren't doing right now is spending time with one another. Dude, people that cook together stay together. Maybe your friend died. Maybe your friend didn't. But what I'm telling you right now is that you can get great meals from HelloFresh.
Starting point is 00:12:15 Yes, daddy. Yes, HelloFresh. They got burgers. They got meatloaf. What do you need? They got salmon slices, everything. Yes, sir. Listen, you want to be a dope-ass chef?
Starting point is 00:12:27 You're going to look like going with HelloFresh. Go to HelloFresh.com slash 80cats. Use the code 80cats to get $80 off and free shipping, son. Yep, some companies, they don't even get you the right stuff. You say you joined the group, and they send you a damn chef's hat and say, Good luck, buddy. Yep, not here, dog. Not here, baby. they send you a damn chef's hat and say, good luck, buddy. Yep. Not here, dog. Not here, baby.
Starting point is 00:12:45 They send you the ingredients. These are fresh ingredients and they got all kinds of stuff. It doesn't matter if you're trying to be vegan, if you're trying to be military, non-military, if you're trying to just have fish or just have soup, they have everything. It can be for family. It can be for just a couple. And it's fresh, man. And HelloFresh.
Starting point is 00:13:04 Listen, go to HelloFresh.com slash 80cats. Use the code 80cats. Get $80 off, including free shipping. Get it now. Yep, that's right. You can get HelloFresh and you can also switch
Starting point is 00:13:17 between their partners, Green Chef and EveryPlate. When your tastes change and you want to eat a little bit differently, go to HelloFresh.com slash 80kats when your tastes change and you want to eat a little bit differently. Mix it up. Yep, mix it up. Go to HelloFresh.com slash 80KATS and use code 80KATS to get $80 off, including free shipping.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Dog, when it comes to meat, I know you know your way around some meat, Dale. And when it comes to meat, we're talking about quality meat. Meat matters. That's why ButcherBox is part of this show because guess what? You want 100% grass-fed finished beef, free-range chicken. We're not talking about them locked-up chickens. We're talking about free-range happy chickens. We're talking about heritage breed pork.
Starting point is 00:13:53 What are you talking about, dude? Wild-caught salmon. Come on, Daddy. You're talking about that meat for your stupid mouth. Get away from me, man. I'll tell you this, bro. If you want grass-fed beef, you got to get grass-fed beef. Dog, can I put my meat on your grill?
Starting point is 00:14:05 No, you cannot, sir. You're a hater. What I'm talking about is they got finished beef as well. Sometimes you get a piece of beef and don't even, you know. It's not finished. Well, look, it's still trying to run off. Yeah, dog. How about every month ButcherBox ships a curated selection of high-quality meats right to your crib?
Starting point is 00:14:23 Sometimes you get meat that's still in a coma. I said, damn, I want finished beef. Finish it up, man. ButcherBox is a curated selection of high-quality meats right to your crib. Suddenly you get meat that's still in a coma. I said, damn, I want finished beef. Finish it up, man. Butcher Box is a no-brainer. It's the best meat shipped right to your door, which means one less trip to the grocery store. PG, baby, crazy. What I'm talking about is with Butcher Box, you get the highest quality meat for about $6 a meal. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:14:40 That's nuts, man. Bacon for Life is back. I got to tell you that. People have been wandering around. They found a guy in the woods, and he probably died. But before he did, he said, is bacon for life coming back? I said, yeah, you stupid hoe. Bacon for life right now.
Starting point is 00:14:53 New members can get bacon for life when you sign up. Just go to butcherbox.com slash cats. That's a package of free bacon in every box for the rest of your subscription when you go to butcherbox.com slash cats. Let's see this, babe. Hey, what's up, Theo and Brendan? Just want to say congratulations on the 100th episode of King and the Sting. Thank God you guys got on Joe Rogan when you did,
Starting point is 00:15:23 and now you're both multi-fucking millionaires. Okay? So just thank Christ. I would get down on my knees every day and lick his balls. Okay? That's for Brendan. Thank the good Lord above that you got on the Joe Rogan show two to three years ago and absolutely exploded. And now you're fucking multi-millionaire
Starting point is 00:15:45 and I live in a three-floor walk-up. I love you. Bruh. I live in a three-floor walk-up. Amazing. Unbelievable. See, at the end he gave you another little kiss. You saw that?
Starting point is 00:16:04 Would you kiss him? If you had to kiss another comedian that was a man, Brendan, who would it be? Besides Joe Rogan. I'd probably go Bobby Lee because he's real smooth and he's small. That's fair. He's a little feminine. As long as he's shaved, that mustache would gross me out. He's not going to shave for you, Brendan.
Starting point is 00:16:20 It's not like you get to choose how he is. You take him as he is. He seems like a tender man Take him as he is You can't like I don't know the rules of kissing male comics You don't own him Brendan Who would you choose to kiss
Starting point is 00:16:35 I've never thought about it but Give us your top 5 Top 5 Yeah give us your MySpace topic. There's only four, Brendan. Let me think. I feel like you'd make out with Bert.
Starting point is 00:16:51 I feel like you'd make out with Bert. I would not. How about one living and one dead if you had to choose? I mean, Bert has nice eyes, but he's not handsome, dude. And he doesn't... I don't like him. He's too hairy. I like him. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:17:04 I love Bert. I would not... Not to kiss. He's too hairy. I like him. Sorry. I love Bert. I would not. Not to kiss. He's too hairy. Cuddling. Yeah, he does seem cuddly. Yeah, I don't know who. That's a good question, man.
Starting point is 00:17:15 Mulaney? No. He's not hairy. I'm thinking not hairy. Not hairy. I don't want hairy. Bobby Lee might be the best way to go if you don't want hairy. Sebastian. Ooh. That's a smooth man. Oh, yeah. I don't want Harry. Bobby Lee might be the best way to go if you don't want Harry.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Sebastian. Ooh. That's a smooth man. Oh, yeah. I think Sebastian because he also has kind of like an artistic type of like a concierge type of vibe. Yeah. I feel like I would kiss him and then I'd know where the best restaurant in town was. Yeah. Like he whispers a little secret while he kisses him.
Starting point is 00:17:43 It would just show up in my head after the kiss. Like, oh, okay. Oh, Joe Coy might be a good one to make out with. Oh, Joe Coy's another one. Yeah, he hasn't been shaving recently, though. He has not. But he is half Asian, so you know the smooth factor is there. He looks smooth. He has that stubble, though. I'm not feeling
Starting point is 00:17:59 the stubble. Yeah, I think I would go... Ooh, hairy. I'm gonna go Sebastian. No homo brah, but What about Andrew Schultz he's not very at all yes facial hair though, here's that like that what warrior mustache Like facial hair thing going on for anything No, who would you go with Derek No. No?
Starting point is 00:18:24 Who would you go with, Derek? It's hard. It's hard, bro, because I like a lot of dudes out there, man. Yeah, I feel you. It's hard to choose one. Yeah, bro. Yeah, no, no. Cheers, chill.
Starting point is 00:18:38 You want me to rattle some off for you? Yeah, get rattled. Because I'm thinking Sebastian because that's who in my head I was because he's so not my type. Yeah, thank you for that one. He wasn't my type, but that's what I like about him. Santino? No, he's aggressive. He don't my type, but that's what I like about him. Santino? No, he's aggressive. He don't kiss right. Bill Burr?
Starting point is 00:18:49 I feel like Bill Burr would kiss and he'd punch me. I don't know if Bill Burr would kiss. Does he know how to? He doesn't seem like somebody that knows how to kiss. I don't think he kisses. Yeah. Could you imagine him kissing somebody? I couldn't.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Never. Yeah. Never. Very asexual body. Very hard to imagine, yeah. We'll move on once Derek answers. Why are you putting me on like that, dog? Take your time, dude.
Starting point is 00:19:09 You could kiss Lucy Kay, Dave Chappelle. Oh, Dave Chappelle. Dane Cook would make out with you. Nick Swartzen. Here's the thing. Nick Swartzen would definitely make out with you. Bill Bellamy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Ooh. I'd fuck the shit out you, Bill. What's up? All right. Bill, what up? I'm shooting my shot, baby. This is my chance. What about one of Marlon Wayans would be fun.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Either way. Either way. Yeah, I'd make out with Mike Epps. All right. Bro, Mike Epps is a gangster, dog. Hell yeah. I think that's what Brendan likes, though. But I'd go for-
Starting point is 00:19:38 I've just named all black comics. Dude, I'd let Preacher Lawson jack me up. Faison Love. I'm changing mine bro Cat Williams My gifts is a savage bro I'd make out with Kevin Hart because I'd have to bend down Because I'm all big Hold him in your arms like a koala
Starting point is 00:19:58 Yeah I'd put him in one of those pouches That I put my kids in Is this new? That was his new special That would be cool. Yeah, I'll put him in one of those pouches that I put my kids in. Oh, shit. Is this new? I think that's new, yeah. That was his new special. Oh, damn.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Six to nine. Damn. Yeah, I'm going to go with Marlon Wayans, actually. Okay. Yeah. Marlon Wayans. Yeah. Because Marlon's almost, he would be a handsome woman, even.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Are we seeing it? White chicks. Oh, yeah. He's a beautiful white woman you can always close your eyes and just imagine that yeah I might go with Mark Curry
Starting point is 00:20:29 oh Mark Norman I feel like is soft he doesn't have fish in his hair that's a good one too very non-threatening yeah and I feel like if you we're gay yeah
Starting point is 00:20:41 hey oh you're gay I don't know if he still does it He just closes out and he goes I'm gay and I'm Kevin Hart So Jews That's my time I'm Kevin Hart and I'm gay
Starting point is 00:20:58 And he leaves I don't know why he does that What's this Nick This is Jack Shore man Yeah would you guys kiss Jack Shore No He sent in a video for us What's up guys
Starting point is 00:21:11 It's the king of the stings here at Welshman Jack Shore I want to say a big congrats to Brendan and Theo And the whole crew there On the first hundred episodes Some of the funniest stuff I've seen in my life So the first hundred were through the roof And I'm sure the next 100 will be even better.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. You know Chappelle gets excited any time he hears an accent from the UK. You know he's around right now. With that Oasis clock above his head. Where did he say he's from?
Starting point is 00:21:41 He's not from Manchester. He's from Wales. Yeah, he's from Wales. He's a Welshman. You guys are bros now, right? Yeah, we're like good friends because we're Oasis fans. You guys be DMing each other pictures and shit? Oh, we DM each other all the time. Yeah, I bet you do, Playboy. He's a champ. Wins his next fight.
Starting point is 00:21:54 We know who Chappelle would kiss. I kiss UFC fighters, dog. Hey, at least, yeah. At least he's not kissing some lame-ass comic. Yeah, you're right. You know what I'm saying? At least he can defend you in the streets. Yeah. At least if there's spousal abuse in your relationship,
Starting point is 00:22:10 people will understand it'll be on him. Yep. It's a fair fight. It's fair. Yeah, he's a beast, man. Who's he fighting next? I think he had a fight against Khalid Taha, but it got canceled. Because of COVID?
Starting point is 00:22:24 Someone had COVID, but I don't know what he's got. Damn, he's a fighter. Nothing on the docket yet. He won his last one since coming on King of the Sting. I just knew that. Quick work. He had some cancelled bouts. Damn, a bunch of cancelled bouts.
Starting point is 00:22:38 And then we got a video from one of our favorites. Oh, yeah. Hannah Barron, yeah. Hanna Baron, yeah. Hanna Baron, no. Hey, y'all. I'm out here in Kansas today freezing my butt off. Me and Dad are actually starting on us a little hunting cabin on our land out here. But I wanted to congratulate Brandon and Theo today for their 100th episode of King of the Stains.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Y'all are doing great. I can't thank y'all enough for having me on the show and letting me be a part of the family. Y'all keep doing what you're doing. Appreciate y'all. We're going to have to fight to the death for Hannah's love. We're going to have to fight to the death for Hannah's love. Well, considering she said
Starting point is 00:23:17 Theo. She's from the South, so they can't say Brandon. They can't say Brandon. I think Theo's in the clubhouse. Brandon. She was saying Brandon. Oh, yeah. She was saying Brandon.
Starting point is 00:23:28 Yeah, it's just a southern. Yeah. She got that twang. Dude, we should do it like Love Island. Have you ever seen Love Island? Yeah, I think I have. We should do that. Yeah, and she has to pick.
Starting point is 00:23:41 Oh, that would be interesting. Let's make Hannah fucking pick. Yeah. I'll do it. I'll fucking do it right now. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, dog.
Starting point is 00:23:53 This would have been your ex-wife, Derek. You're lucky you weren't there that episode. You're lucky you weren't there, man. The wine lips go hard. I ain't fucking. Look at her. The wine lips. Baby wine house lips
Starting point is 00:24:05 End of watch two Thank you for having me be a part of your magical journey Get that snake out girl Hold on I'm getting a message Important message it's coming from here Oh Damn Oh important message it's coming from here oh dude I laughed so hard when she was she had to change she didn't even change you was showing me her tattoo she turned
Starting point is 00:24:39 around we're all just staring that feels like that ass Derek that ass out. Derek is so confused. Man, I just didn't know. Because she's shaking her ass and y'all were like, yeah. And I'm like, oh, yeah. She did it. Yeah, she was a guest in Culture Corner and brought a snake.
Starting point is 00:24:56 And then she was showing Kat her tattoo and pulled her pants down. She had an ass. Because her tattoo was right on her thigh, so she had to face towards me. She's a dancer. And ass towards them. Yeah. She's a dancer. And she's towards them. She's a dancer. She's an exotic dancer, musician.
Starting point is 00:25:08 You can get some of her tracks on iTunes. She's a DJ. She's a snake charmer. Performer all around. She's basically modern day type of person. Renaissance woman. Gig economy.
Starting point is 00:25:23 She's like the P. Diddy. The female Mexican P. Diddy. Ooh, who is this? She's like the female Mexican P. Diddy. This is someone who's probably upset he wasn't named of who he would like to kiss. Who is this tomato juice addict? Hey, Theo, hey, Shob. Congrats on 100 episodes. We miss you down here at the Motherlode.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Tickly Theo, come back. And you too, Slob on the Knob, Sloppy Shob. We miss you, boys. Kisses, congrats. He's so stupid. Who is that? That's Andrew Santino. You didn't know who that was?
Starting point is 00:25:55 No. Do we know other redheads? I just thought it was some guy you knew. No, dude. He misses you, not me. But he seemed like he was joking. Slob on the knob, shop. Slob on the knob. He misses you, not me. But he seemed like he was joking. Slap on the knob, Sean. Slap on the knob.
Starting point is 00:26:09 We miss you. Come have a kiss. He's looking good. Damn, he looks good, huh? What did he get? I guess it looks like he got work done, huh? He's got some fillers, yeah. He gets that FX money.
Starting point is 00:26:22 Yeah, he's got that FX money, man. Now a little dicky too much. Now he looks like a Kardashian. Yeah. That boy's fine. Wow, that's awesome, man. So everybody's just sending those thank you, sending the congratulations videos?
Starting point is 00:26:36 Mm-hmm. Oh, great. Cool. Can't rip off them? Did you get that song, Nick? Yeah, yeah. This shit is so hard. I want you to think you're in the club. Can't rip off them like Did you get that song Nick? Yeah yeah This shit is so hard I want you to think you're in the club
Starting point is 00:26:48 Your cheeks are out Theo Have you seen Craig's News Live? Don't be scared to turn that shit up Nick Let Theo get his cheeks out Feel it Who is this? Is this Lil Browz? Yep
Starting point is 00:27:03 He's a good boy Austin. My wrist man, you know what it is. I've been getting my weight up. So right with the big boys I'll make a big noise out of town make a big place. We know it would end up like this boy I see the song from a parking lot and I got everything Only got one life to live better do it big Mike's thick Need it thick, girl, for the thick boy I need everything I get, super thick boy Used to have a model bitch, now I gotta pick one Last night went late, yeah, we had a sick one And I like options, I don't like to pick one And she like them thick, so I told options. I don't like to pick one. It's like a big so I told a bitch come get some
Starting point is 00:28:06 Good boy. Hey, don't they never stood a chance with us got that hand Come on I need everything thick, thick, super thick. From my wallet to my check. I don't want it if it's skinny, but I need it if it's thick. Need it thick, girl. Put a thick boy. I need everything I get super thick, boy. Thick, thick, super thick. From my wallet to my check. I don't want it if it's skinny, but I need it if it's thick.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Thick, thick, thick. it's thick. Thick. Need it. Thick, girl. Thick, thick, thick. There's jelly. Come on. I heard your friend laughing when I told her I was thick. She said, Jelly Roll, you fat. I said, I'm talking about my dick. And you know I'm holding. So frozen, gives me cold chills.
Starting point is 00:29:01 My bitch is super bad, and she's thicker than oatmeal. In the club with my bubbles, getting drunk. Nicole chills my bitches super bad and she stick of it. Oh Yeah How hard is that? A club album? Yeah, dog. Shaw Records. You don't fuck with Shaw Records, y'all. Dick, dick, dick, dick. Dick, dick. Lil' Brow's killed it. Bro. How hard is that song?
Starting point is 00:29:35 I can't believe it's a real studio. It sounds like a real fucking studio. We got a whole album. You haven't heard all the songs we got? I didn't even... What? Yeah, me and Phil started a record label. I didn't.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Yeah, I took... Shaw Records. I didn't. Yeah, I took- Shawb Records? Shawb Records. I didn't start that. Well, you know, we'll call it whatever, but I took the money from our zoo in Mexico and put it into the music. Oh, nice. That's why the ostriches didn't get delivered. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Modern day Sugar Knight, bro. Look at you. Yeah, bro. Sugar Knight, bro. Sugar Knight. Stevie a Knight. Stevie a Knight. I stole your joke there, Derek. It's all right. Stevie a Knight. Stevie a Knight.
Starting point is 00:30:08 I stole your joke there, Derek. It's all right. It was a good tag. Yeah, we're going to shoot a music video. We got a marching band. Damn, they went in, man. We actually got another video to debut from the album. Actual music video, too. A music video?
Starting point is 00:30:22 Let's hear it, dog. Damn, we straight record studio now. We like Hot 107. I'm big. Oh. We're like Luke 106. I haven't seen this either. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:30:35 I see you, cat. And she was like five foot something A little rambunctious DMs always getting flooded Guys always trying to offer money for a meet and greet And getting shut down when they try to see the feet
Starting point is 00:30:49 The first time And I even tried to call her Katine but it still didn't matter cuz she left me on scene That girl so bad so beautiful the way she walk way she talk like a movie roll Harder than wasabi on a sushi roll and all the guys are in her DMs like Hey cat, would you please reply back? Cause it's been like six weeks since you left me on your side You know that I can't help it I got cat scratch fever Since the first time I've seen her It was hard to let this get old
Starting point is 00:31:28 I'ma shoot my shot with a cat call I posted a picture with cat Too hard to do is mess me up Asking me for any advice How to get a girl we like They said that they would do anything for her They wanna sit in the culture car And they wanna do a meet and greet
Starting point is 00:31:50 They don't want only fans, they want only fans That girl so hot, so beautiful When she talk, when she talk like a movie role Hotter than wasabi on a sushi roll And all the guys are in her DMs like Hey, Kyle, could you please reply? Cause it's been like six weeks Since you left me on scene
Starting point is 00:32:14 But I can't help it, I got cat scratch fever Since the first time I seen her And I'm about to rescue her Cause she's so big that I can't go on I'm about to rescue y'all Hey mom Damn That was the first time I've seen you Me too, that video was cute as fuck That's the best man
Starting point is 00:32:58 That's my favorite song I think Yeah that's a great song, that one the Hannah Barron one is my favorite Oh Hannah Barron goes hard too When Chin hits that I'll drive all the way to Alabama I get chills Yeah, that's a great song. That one, the Hannah Barron one's my favorite. Oh, Hannah Barron goes hard too. Wow. When Chin hits that, I'll drive all the way to Alabama. I get chills. I appreciate it. Chin went in on those vocals, huh, Chin?
Starting point is 00:33:13 Take us through that. If I do vocals, I'll go all the way in. For sure. All the way in. All the way in. You wrote those lyrics, Chin? No, I did. I did. Little Brows did.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Damn. Okay. You went most of the way in, though. I'll take those lyrics and I'll go all in. You went 75 in? Dog, how crazy is this? Lil Browz entered a white rapper only contest on Cat. And now he's doing a whole album with us.
Starting point is 00:33:31 Did you hear the story of how he came to do that video? I thought he met a few at an AA meeting or some shit. No, he actually went to go get Chick-fil-A on a Sunday night. Didn't realize it was Sunday. Pulled up to the parking lot. Realized everything was closed. Decided to record a rap night, didn't realize it was Sunday, pulled up to the parking lot, realized everything was closed, decided to record a rap. And that's how it happened. Wow. That's his origin
Starting point is 00:33:50 story right there. Chick-fil-A's closed, I'm gonna enter a white rapper contest. That's beautiful. That's how a lot of white rappers start. That's how most start. Frustration from Chick-fil-A. Damn, man. G-Eazy, Logic. They all started like that. Chick-fil-A's closed, man. I've had that fucking Sunday. G-Eazy, Logic. They all started like that.
Starting point is 00:34:06 This Chick-fil-A's closed. I'm about to show these motherfuckers. And then he ended up living like blocks from the studio. Yeah. Like he lives in the- Dude, and then- What we're saying is the guy is a stalker. What we're saying is we filed a restraining order against him.
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Starting point is 00:38:17 And it's once a week. Once a week. 100 weeks? What are you guys' favorite moments from the first 100? Ooh, the Iggy Azalea rap has always been my favorite. Ooh, that was good. I think that's not what I said. That's the question.
Starting point is 00:38:32 That might have been the funniest moment on Cats. You know my heart? Yeah. Spit it, dog. Pussy, pussy, Iggy. Oh, no. Iggy, Iggy, pussy. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:38:47 Make it a two-week suspension. Iggy, Iggy, pussy, Illy. Wetter than the Amazon tastes this kitty. Silly Billy. Pop and pilly. Smoke him like a Swiss shit like this, Billy. Mold him. Ah, soak him.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Ah, hook him like crack after shock. That's all I got. That's all I got. I choked. I choked. I choked. Hold on. You know your shit, though. T.C. Channey goes, oh.
Starting point is 00:39:13 But then right after that was one of the years ago sketch, and that might have been the hardest. Dude, years ago, I've never laughed so hard. You know when you sent me the countdowns, Nick? I could not wait to post that. I laughed so fucking hard. Years ago. That was good. You're going to do a spoken word
Starting point is 00:39:29 for us now, right? Right. Tell us what we're about to hear. Just a freestyle. Okay. I'm just going to think it up. Freestyle? Let me sit back. Go ahead, Marshall. Okay. Years ago, they tried to... Years ago, they tried to put me in the...
Starting point is 00:39:53 This is a lie. The girl. The woman. Did you want to try to read something from your book? Yeah. Okay. Oh, my God. And look at the first comment on that video, too.
Starting point is 00:40:12 What is it? What is the person? You can't blame him. Not after what they tried to do to him years ago. I hope he's doing well. I actually have an update on Marshall. Oh, what happened? He passed away?
Starting point is 00:40:25 I was a huge, huge goal to get him here for the 100th episode. I wanted to have Lil Browz record a song years ago on the verse, but then him walk in. And we've been on the phone and stuff. And yeah, he said his whole family got COVID. And his dad, who was elderly, passed away like two weeks ago. Well, this got sad. But I mean, like in loving memory, he was like,
Starting point is 00:40:47 man, I would, I'm totally down. I've been watching you guys. I'm digging it, but I'm just kind of grieving right now. R.I.P. dude. R.I.P. Beast moments.
Starting point is 00:40:54 I've laughed so fucking hard. There's been times where I'm laughing so hard. They're not even a show. I just keep laughing. Yeah. Yeah. I'll see you last hard
Starting point is 00:41:03 and I'll get hard. That's crazy. 100 episodes once a week, 100 weeks. Not over two years, right? Yeah. Oh, here's freaking Riley Mao. Riley Mao. Hey, Brendan.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Hey, Theo. Congratulations on y'all's 100th episode of King of the States. Why are you so serious? Brendan, it was super nice to meet you when you were out here in Nashville with the entire gang. Thanks, buddy. Theo, man, thank you so much for everything. Oh, crying. For having me on the show, becoming your little Asian side piece.
Starting point is 00:41:41 You know, I love it. Okay. Yeah, just thank you so much for everything I mean both of y'all I just can't wait to continue more in the in the new year
Starting point is 00:41:55 well it's probably the time to tell you you're fired you heard it from me here first Riley you're fired why do you say that no we'll have him back in soon man whenever we get whenever we do a solo episode You heard it from me here first. Riley, you're fired. Why did you say that? No, we'll have him back in soon, man, whenever we do a solo episode. Thank you, Riley.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Appreciate it, bro. Yeah, appreciate the hard work, man. Very alarming to be, and I'm not saying this, but to be somebody that seems like him also driving and recording himself. What about him is dangerous, though? That's fair. What about him is dangerous about him? fair. That's a legit point. What about him is dangerous about him? Just some of the ways he seems. Yes.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Some of the stereotypes. I'm not saying that, Brendan. Okay, I'll say it for you. Okay. Why? Does he look like he has astigmatism? I could see it being alarming to some people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:42 Like if he was my Uber driver, I'd be alarmed. Okay. I would leave him a two star. You would? Yes. Derek, you got any favorite memories from your time on the show? Yeah, that's a good question. I liked when Theo thought that we just let some lady have cum on her face.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Oh, yes. Oh, my God. The Halloween, yes. I forget. He was like, why would you allow that? I was like, what do you mean? He's like, look at her face. When I didn't know. Yeah, we were like. Come on, yes. Oh, my God. The Halloween, yes. I forget. He was like, why would you allow that? I was like, what do you mean? He's like, look at her face. When I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Yeah, we know. He goes, come on, man. And I'm like, what, dude? He's like, dude, we can't have this on the show. I'm like, what's wrong with her? We look in. Dog. Semen.
Starting point is 00:43:16 All over her. Then he called it. She goes, come on, man. She got that thick sweat on her face. On her face. That thick sweat. That thick nut sweat. What happened to her?
Starting point is 00:43:24 Somebody's semened her. She drowned in that happened to her? Somebody semened her? She drowned in that, dude. Somebody semened that lady. Why'd they do it? Did they say? That might be one of the top five hearts I've ever laughed at. I didn't know. I didn't either. I was like, dog, what's wrong with Theo? What's wrong with her? She's a nice... And then Theo's like, come on, that's a man.
Starting point is 00:43:40 Oh, so he did this to me with thick nuts with him. Oh, yeah. And then we zoomed in. And he was right We thought it was seven months on Do we still have that? I forgot about that Fuck that was funny
Starting point is 00:43:53 I don't remember anything I hope he's out there somewhere Scary We do so many shows you remember all of it? I forgot about that that was hilarious dude Yeah, you guys are all like she had a question you guys are like trying to answer a question We were dead serious Like you'll find a man. I was like this what you gotta do
Starting point is 00:44:17 There's a lot of stuff going on here She's got that mass scary like your boy said Derek zoom in on that. Hold the fuck. Dude, there's shit all over. No one's noticed this? It's semen, isn't it? Yeah! Hey! Ding, ding, ding, ding! She's not a fucking semen roll, is she? That's not icing, Theo. Bro, this is
Starting point is 00:44:38 a man. Dude, that's not a man. She's making a porno, and this is the end of it. You know what? Don't cut out the part I said in the beginning because I was trying to be. Go back to this. Look at the whole thing going on here. The blonde hair doesn't match the rest of her hair.
Starting point is 00:44:52 This is a man's face. And he got busted on. He must be off cigarettes. Oh, God. He's flying spirit airline. He's off cigarettes. He works at a doll factory. This is a young fella, man.
Starting point is 00:45:04 This is a nice young man who enjoys pizza and getting loads on his face. Well, who knows? Dude, I'm a detective. I've seen way too much 448. Hey, case solved. You're a detective, dude? You're the worst detective. You spent six minutes praising this young lass.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Dude, what are you talking about? He's sending a couple of nice tits. He's talking about taking her out for a good time. The first thing I said was that this young fella... Zoom in. You did call it. You did call it. Hey, hold on.
Starting point is 00:45:35 How does no one running the cameras see the fucking semen on this dude's face? Bro, what is this turned into, man? I don't want to be a part of anything like this, man. Yeah, let's not... We'll put this on this time, but I ain't doing this stuff where I'm looking at semen on some fella, man. It might be sweat, though. That ain't sweat. That's thick, thick sweat out of somebody's nuts.
Starting point is 00:45:57 It is, dude. I'm serious, man. We can do it this time. I'm not looking at this kind of stuff. I didn't come here to look at this. Then we made sweatshirt It went through so many checks though it was me then Nick everyone so it's always He said you're the worst ever
Starting point is 00:46:17 That lady oh, I fucking forgot about the guy that was a man It's absolutely to forget that if dude dressed like the guy. That was a man, I guess. That was definitely a man. It's so easy to forget that a dude dressed up like a woman is a man. You remember the first episode when we had Chin's aunt on, and I was so crunk for his aunt? She's hot. Yeah, she's batty. Wait, last episode, didn't we talk about how Theo might have hooked up with Chin's aunt because she was in Boise, too?
Starting point is 00:46:43 Boise, yeah. She was a Korean in Boise. I just remember it was a Korean lady, and I remember we tried to get involved and have some sort of sexual interaction, but... She wasn't into it? No, she was into it, Brendan. Were you not into it?
Starting point is 00:46:56 Huh? That's other friends of yours. Her leg. I'm just saying, bro. You got the wrong show. Those are your friends too, brother. But I met them through you, dude. Okay?
Starting point is 00:47:12 I just remember her leg. I will say this about this Korean lady. I remember her legs didn't... They wouldn't... Her legs... Wouldn't open up? They were kind of like, you know, chopsticks are kind of like at the top.
Starting point is 00:47:21 They're kind of just... Just like that. She's pigeon-footed. They wouldn't like... You had to snap them open. Well, no. You didn't have to. And you wouldn't do that, and you never did it.
Starting point is 00:47:33 But it was just... There was no way to have sex because her leg... It wasn't going to work. Yeah, I was trying to get those sticks apart, and they wouldn't come apart, and you're like, oh, this doesn't work. So now do you want to tell Chin or should I that you're his uncle?
Starting point is 00:47:49 I'd be happy. I'd be proud. Dude dude it'd be so awesome if i were if you were oh that'd be cool you could like tell him what to do go fishing here it is right here no this was another one of my uh favorite moments um these these guys oh yeah why did we do this it was your birthday. We had a cookie cake and we came in to sing a few songs. He just got back from Hawaii too. Nice. Super Jack. What was that for? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:48:18 What was that for? You're welcome. You're a young man. Do you know? Yeah, I think we got something for that. I think it was more hairy than I thought. Yeah, it is. This is obviously a Wisconsin idea, but good times. I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Starting point is 00:48:42 You other brothers can't deny. When a girl walks in with a nitty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung. When I pull up tough, can you notice that the body's tough? Deep in the jeans she's wearing, I'm looking against the ceiling.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Oh, baby, I want to get with you and take your picture. My little boy's trying to warn me. Yeah, those guys are great. I was feeling myself. Remember, I kept clowning them, too. When they left, I was all mean about it. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:11 Because they went one song too long. Yeah, I got old fast. Yeah, I think you do two songs when you're them. Two and out. We remember we couldn't get them to leave. When you stay for that third song, it's rough. Remember when your girl, you got her the quinceañera singers? What was it? Yeah, for her birthday. Oh, the mariachi singers? Oh, yeah, the mariachi singers. That was pretty cool. Like during the middle of COVID. third song it's rough yeah you remember when your girl you got her the uh quinceanera singers what
Starting point is 00:49:25 was it yeah for her birthday oh yeah that was pretty like during the middle of covid people are so mean to me online really yeah it's gonna spread you're a super spreader fucking mariachi band mexicans don't get it man i'm trying to think of what other it's science what else was a good seg a good clip do you guys have any favorites Until you bring them up There's so many There's so fucking many This show is so fucking funny Do you remember any Nick
Starting point is 00:49:55 I'm trying to look at the You have no excuse I have CT and it's well documented I swear my words Do you have it? Have you been tested for it? No. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:50:10 Did I lose my keys and stuff? Yeah, but that's, dude, you could just, everybody loses their keys. Yeah. Sometimes we forget to fill up our tank. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:18 Right there. Yeah, totally. I lost my keys this morning. I went, here we go. Here we go, Bubba. I don't know, Vernon. It could just be, I don't want to say it, but
Starting point is 00:50:26 say it. Ignorance. You know what I'm saying? I don't think before you fought, you were the guy who knew it all. Oh, do you guys remember when we set up Chin? Hot Carl? Remember Hot Carl and Chin?
Starting point is 00:50:45 She went on the date and drank all that sake, and we paid for it. We talked about it every week. I'm going to forget about it. I remember that. Yeah, Chin went on that date with Hot Carl, and here's Hot Carl now. You destroyed her life, Chin.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Right? Chin racked up the bill, drank all that sake. Congratulations, Bubba. 100 episodes of The King and the Sting. Man, I'm absolutely loving it. Shout out to the man with the million dollar mullet, Theo Vaughn. Shout out to the leader of the Thick Gang and the man with the mean kick gang, Brendan Schaub. Send my love to the Culture Corner.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Tell Chin I said what's up. Shout out to my Bubba Nick Davis. I love y'all, man. 100 episodes. Cheers to 1,000 more, baby. Hell yeah. Jelly Roll. Jelly Roll.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Hell yeah. He didn't say Chappelle, but that's okay. He said Culture Corner. He said Culture Corner. Okay. That's awesome, man. I love him. Thanks, Jelly.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Yeah, but let's not let Chin off the hook. So remember, Chin took that young lady out, spent about a grand of our money. And then at the end, he was like, yeah, she's fucking hot. Check out those tits. And then was like, oh, I'm married. You remember that? She was down. That's how we found out Chin had a girl.
Starting point is 00:51:54 But this also now a true. He thought he was gay for a second. Yeah, we thought he was gay. Oh, yeah. We thought he was coming out. I should have paused for longer. A true. And I almost ruined his outing because I went, you're gay.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Yeah. No. But what if he was? I know. I ruined it. I know. What if he was? I panicked.
Starting point is 00:52:12 Yeah, man. I panicked. He's all, yeah, dude, you're a dick. Damn, bro. He was trying to be gay and you stopped him. Another great one, and I almost have the video up. Instagram's making me log in But the first time we were introduced to noodling
Starting point is 00:52:28 We met that fellow who wasn't TV camera ready Oh yeah That dude that had his shirt off all up in the video He had that body outie Yeah, Saint Tricolous this dude The body outie on him Saint Tits, yeah, and he was all up in the water
Starting point is 00:52:44 Trying to catch some fish He'd be under the water Come up really seductively Yeah That brackish Santa You gotta get in there bro Yeah those boys don't wanna get caught Oh
Starting point is 00:52:56 That's gonna shot at this guy Why'd they do my man like that? He was at TV prep. Bro, that guy. Whoa. What was going on there? That dude's hanging out for the wrong reason. I think his noodling's different than the rest of the people.
Starting point is 00:53:19 It's okay. The girls come at night. And that's when that old man leaves. I'll be back in the morning. I had a good time. Timmy gonna be back tomorrow? Where'd I leave my shirt and pants and lip gloss? What's going on in this shithole?
Starting point is 00:53:39 Father Time. There's some milk breads on that guy. Titties. Father Time got them Boo Radley tits. His tits are waterlogged, huh? Look at his whole skin. He looks bloated and dead. And here's our last congratulations video.
Starting point is 00:53:55 Lots of characters that didn't make the show. Shout out Stefan and everybody else. But the man himself, Browse. Your lookalike, Cats in the Wild. Oh, he was sexy. What up, gangsters? This is Browse. Your lookalike, Cats in the Wild. Oh, he was sexy. What up, gangsters? This is Browse. Congratulations on 100 episodes.
Starting point is 00:54:08 We love you guys so much. Thanks for being the best podcast out there. I'm in the studio right now, which is my kitchen, because I'm broke until that album Money Hits. But either way, King and the Sting, 100. Congratulations. Go get that man's album. It's on iTunes now.
Starting point is 00:54:24 Cats. King and the Sting album And all the revenue Of that goes to the artist Lil Brow really Quarterbacked it And produced it So a lot to him
Starting point is 00:54:33 And then splitting it With all the other Submitters so Yeah man Go support Amen Yeah It's a talented dude
Starting point is 00:54:39 He fucking came up man Yeah For him dog Chick-fil-A works miracles When they're closed It's true That's why they close Yeah that's why they close Some miracles can happen man He fucking came up, man. Yeah. For him, dog. Chick-fil-A works miracles when they're closed. That's true. That's why they close.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Yeah, that's why they close. Some miracles can happen, man. What else did we, what else happened on the show? I'm trying to remember what else. Here's actually a new one. Cat's sister pointed out kind of a cat's in the wild. So my sister and I were watching a basketball game between Long Beach and LMU. And she said that this guy looks like you two had a kid.
Starting point is 00:55:08 His name is Pepe. Oh, yeah, that's a good name for him. And that's clearly Tiger when he's 18, so that's cool. Damn, that hair is long. And LMU, that Lupepe jersey, dude. I know, those shorts. What are these flags? That would be New Zealand, Great Britain, and I don't know what the middle one is. It's Great Britain and New Zealand, though.
Starting point is 00:55:30 Why were your sister scouting for some dudes or what? We were just watching a game. Oh, she's talking to one of the homies on the team? I can neither confirm nor deny. That's New Zealand. It is. But let's just say she was watching for one person
Starting point is 00:55:46 and she ended up watching Pepe. And let me guess, it wasn't the white boy coming off the bench who can shoot a three. The token white dude who's good at threes. Probably not.
Starting point is 00:55:53 That's a good guess. Yeah. That's Australia? Yeah, and then New Zealand was so close, huh? Wow. I guess it's just no... Wow.
Starting point is 00:56:04 You been in New Zealand? No, you haven't. Yeah, I did stand up there. It's fantastic. Is it like the exact same thing as Australia? No, way better. Really? Listen, I love Australia, but it's like Australia, you feel like you're in a nicer America.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Everybody's really cool. All the women are really hot. But then in New Zealand, that's where they shoot fucking Lord of the Rings, Jurassic Park. It felt like I was in Jurassic Park. Wow. Yeah. And what did they have? They have different what?
Starting point is 00:56:28 All kind of different vegetables and everything? Yep. Wow. And a different currency too. And I got fucking laughed out of a coffee shop because I tried paying with my Australian money and they really went in on me. I didn't know that. Was it like a gang war when you get over the border? Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:56:42 They started calling me a Yankee. What does that mean? Sorry, buddy. I start calling me a Yankee. What does that mean? I think it's like their version of Cracker. Or Daddy Yankee is the worst one. Poppy Yankee. I can't remember any of our old clips, man. I just remember our first episode
Starting point is 00:56:58 of Chin's Aunt. Thick Sweat. Yeah, what else did we talk Oh when you guys brought my dad on Oh yeah we had a family reunion Yeah when Theo asked if he did the crime That's right Your dad fled the fifth
Starting point is 00:57:15 He said look What did he say He said he goes put it this way I studied law and got myself out That's an OG answer He definitely did it He goes, put it this way. I studied law and got myself out. That's an OG answer. He definitely did it. He either did it or he got framed for it.
Starting point is 00:57:32 I think he got framed. I think he got framed, man. His son thinks framed. His son thinks framed. Hell yeah. Far the only person whose family has not been represented is Chappelle's. We tried to reach out to your dad to get a video, but we just couldn't get one. I'm sorry But we got a surprise what happens sometimes Chappelle we love you we got a special in studio guest
Starting point is 00:58:05 Yeah. And did you do it, whatever you went to prison for? Legit question. Well, I mean, that's a hell of a question. I don't know if I'm being interrogated or what. I support my dad. Hey, man, dude, we should have made some free Your Dad's Name t-shirts. Oh, my God, that would have been great. Free Kevin.
Starting point is 00:58:42 Free Kevin, yeah. His name's Big Kev? His first name's Kev? His nickname? Oh, Bosselini Black. Bosselini. Oh boss oh wow what's his real name though Kevin Oh big Kev yep free boss Eleni black that would have been dope if we'd have made this sure no a lot of people may be confused at what we're talking about cuz that was the family reunion patreon episode yeah Patreon episode. Oh, the Patreon. Yeah, so that's still available there. Go check that out. Oh! We also got Caps After Dark on there, too, a lot.
Starting point is 00:59:12 Yep. So, Darren, what have you been doing during the pandemic, man? I feel like we haven't even asked you anything. I've been traveling, man. I just came from Nashville yesterday. That's where I was at. Oh, yeah. Why are you just going all over the country?
Starting point is 00:59:22 Just doing stuff. I got to keep doing something. You're just hustling. Hustling, yeah. It's like I got to do something. Like I was doing my boy in the NFL, Darren Bates, his podcast. He just started a podcast. He was like, you want to come do it?
Starting point is 00:59:31 I was like, bro, I got you. Went and saw the game. And then it was me and another guy named Tufan Skipper and Wyatt Ray. Tufan Skipper? Yeah. What's he do? Linebacker. Oh, dope.
Starting point is 00:59:40 No, DN. They're all huge. Yeah, they're all big dudes. Huge dudes. But that was fun. Oh, my God. What did he say to me? He said said uh because darren was like yo my boy used to play quarterback he was like you were a quarterback bro i was like yeah man this nigga looked like a roly-poly i was like yeah i'm fucking 30 dog yeah in high school bro i was 16 i was good yeah i'm sorry i didn't keep it up well you should you should have said that to Baker Mayfield.
Starting point is 01:00:06 He lit them boys up. Bro, fucked them up. But that was a crazy game to be at, man. That was cool. Yeah, what was that game like? It was in Nashville? In Nashville. I mean, they're one of the only people with fans, so you had to sit up top.
Starting point is 01:00:15 But, yeah, they got waxed, man. Baker Mayfield, you're good. Yeah, he's good. He's going to get that extension. So did he actually look good? I haven't seen him play in a while. He's balling this year. Balling.
Starting point is 01:00:23 They're 9-3. They're balling. They're going to make the playoffs. And OBJ's out, right? OB 9-3. They're balling. They're going to make the playoffs. And OBJ's out, right? OBJ's out. Juice was killing them. They're better without him, unfortunately. Peoples Jones, the guy with the law firm-looking name.
Starting point is 01:00:33 I'm surprised your boy doesn't go on bussing with the boys because they're all tight. They're definitely setting it up. I don't know. I saw a cop. I talked to him on the phone. Oh, you saw him? Oh, dope. God, that guy looks like a serial killer, man.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Yeah. He looks like a serial killer? Oh, dude. He was laying in bed, and he was just like this. No, you saw him? Oh, dope. God, dude, that guy looks like a serial killer, man. Yeah. He looks like a serial killer? Oh, dude. He was laying in bed, and he was just like this. No, he's a good-looking dude. In that post-game After Face, though. Oh, word. He just played.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Yeah, it's called CT. Oh. Yeah. I recognize that from a mile away. A million-mile stare, baby. A million-mile stare, dog. What else happened in here? Kat, we almost set you up with.
Starting point is 01:01:05 Did we ever set you up with anybody in here, Kat? No, I think it was a safety issue when we looked into it, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Was there ever any moments where you had any, almost had a fling with anyone in here? Had a fling with anyone in here? No. No. What does that mean, in here, no?
Starting point is 01:01:27 In the other show, yes. My that's the guy from that's right that's right that's right yeah well this is depressing i'm just doing the math i'm just like i know i'm just trying to figure out i'm just you know i'm just no just ask yeah that's i was just like i was trying to think if you ever had a crush on anybody in here or if you ever, but then I forgot that your boyfriend has been on text. We talked about him last week. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:51 I just forgot. Oh. Yeah, that's right. Have you ever been attracted to anybody in here, Vernon? I mean. Be honest. I didn't realize you had a tailpiece on you for the longest. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:02:04 The day we found out that you had a fat ass. That was a good day. I think Derek's the one that knew because you kept calling me flat ass. Yeah. And then Derek was like. I'll talk about you one day, bro. I'll say, bro, you look like Meg Ryan caked up. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 01:02:14 Yeah. And then you guys went on that. You got the mail. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I got a couple of packages. That's right. The day I discovered you got a tail packages delivered. Yeah, that's right. The day I discovered
Starting point is 01:02:25 he got a tailpiece is pretty fun. Dragging that wagon, baby, to Jay and the Trey, boo-boo. Yeah, dog. This is dope. This is like one of them episodes on a sitcom.
Starting point is 01:02:33 You remember where they, like on any Fresh Prince or the Cosby show, where they'd be like, look, hey, remember this episode, y'all? And it's like, these niggas didn't want,
Starting point is 01:02:40 look at them, not wanting to do an episode of that. Definitely a budget saver so we can go. We spent all of our money on the cameras. We'll go on location next episode because we saved some here. So where are you off to next, D? See, just got back from Nashville and then back to Baltimore when I leave here.
Starting point is 01:02:57 And then Phoenix. Because Phoenix you can do stand-up. Yep. Phoenix is fucking lit. Dude. Stand-up live is the shit. Yeah. Now your partner in crime
Starting point is 01:03:05 Hassan Is he full ISIS Bring him up on his Instagram Yeah Yo look at him now Isn't he doing I report him several times Until there's a vaccine
Starting point is 01:03:14 I report him several times He looks like a mechanic For IEDs For IEDs He looks like a mechanic For Boeing That's gonna fly Into a fucking building
Starting point is 01:03:24 You can bring a drone They fly their drones into him and they fix it. How do you spell his last name? A-H-M-A-D-I-S-I-S. You assholes. He looks crazy, Doug. He's not shaving for COVID. I never was cutting my hair. I was always going for it.
Starting point is 01:03:44 He's not shaving for COVID? Yeah never was cutting my hair. I was always going for it. He's not shaving for COVID? Yeah. Just as like a protester? He looks insane. No, he's doing like a TikTok bit, right? Where he won't shave until the vaccine is out. Yeah. And then he's gotten really woke.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Real woke. Yeah. That's what happens when you stay in the Bay Area. Yep. Oh, is he in the Bay Area? Yeah, he's back home now. Oh, it'll do it. I haven't seen him, man.
Starting point is 01:04:04 It's nice to deal. all the first comics I've seen besides Adam Ray bro yeah nobody comes they see when are you seeing other comics really that's a good point actually I did a show a couple weeks ago in a bar out here restaurant in LA and it was the first time I'd seen it was like Michael and no Chi and Marques a couple guys Momento first time I've seen anybody yeah how was that it was weird I just forgot that I had I was like oh yeah I haven't seen these guys In six months
Starting point is 01:04:26 Yeah I forgot Like hanging around With just other motherfuckers I've been doing the road Like a motherfucker So I'm with my crew Then you're doing good Brendan Yeah sorry
Starting point is 01:04:36 It's you and Tim Dillon And like Yeah sorry No then a bunch of other comics Are just scared to say They're doing the road Yeah but they're doing the road They're not promoting it
Starting point is 01:04:42 All it is Is you guys just keep going Back and forth From Salt Lake City to Boise That. All it is is you guys just keep going back and forth from Salt Lake City to Boise, though. That's all it is. We're going to do Phoenix and Salt Lake and then Boise when we just keep doing the same spot. And sprinkling Texas.
Starting point is 01:04:52 And sprinkling Texas. And then I'll go down to Nashville. But yeah, man, it was just awesome being around fucking comics again, dog. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Now, are you going to stay out of LA? No, I'm waiting to come back.
Starting point is 01:05:06 I'm waiting for the store, baby. That's like the home. It's like when the store opens up, it's like, all right, if the store opens up, everything else will open up. But shit, man. It should be a hot second
Starting point is 01:05:14 before the store opens up. That's why Phoenix looks like a move. That's crazy. Still might be six months. Has anybody quit comedy that you know of while you've been... Good question. I mean... It's hard to say might be six months nuts does anybody get quit comedy that you know of while you've been uh good question i mean which i don't it's hard to say because we're not back in it yet and do they say
Starting point is 01:05:31 they quit or they're just kind of like oh i moved to denver yeah i'm just all right well you're out you're not even in the race yeah because if you're not i moved to idaho it's like all right well where you getting up dog you quit yeah so well you ain't getting up nowhere if you ain't in the cities that open you ain't getting up bro you open, you ain't getting up, bro. You a lion. You ain't getting up. Yeah, that's true. You ain't getting up.
Starting point is 01:05:50 But Arizona's popping, though. Phoenix is popping. So where are you laying low until it opens up? Baltimore, because you can get up there. What's that, Magoos out there? Magoobies. They got Magoobies. And then just like little bar shows.
Starting point is 01:06:03 But they're still open. They're letting people at least come inside right i'm saying so that's the main thing is like just anybody coming i gotta be honest i'm surprised you're like your girl pregnant dude is she still locked up somewhere yeah she's fucking screaming right now no i'm trying to get her pregnant bro i want to get her pregnant but we it's like you can't even i mean i don't even like can you go to the hospital like they won't even let people have funerals right now, bro. A lot of sperms is stressed out, too.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Yeah, my sperm's fucking worried. They're running the other direction. The sperm got the mask on. Oh, they start salmoning on you, yeah. Swimming back stream. Yeah. Well. But it was nice, bro.
Starting point is 01:06:37 Like, we were hanging with, I ain't gonna say his name, but we were doing a weekend with Adam Ray and Phoenix, and just in the green room, and you just, like, see a young comic, like, fuck up. Yeah. And he was like, but while I was doing a weekend with Adam Ray in Phoenix and just in the green room and you just like see a young comic like fuck up. Yeah. And he was like, oh, I'm back. I'm back. Some guy from the city. And he looks at Adam Ray and he's like, he said, he's a man. I was trying to get the Tom's a girl weekend, but they gave me you.
Starting point is 01:06:58 Adam goes, oh shit, dude. Is your sentence over? Is that it? That was it. That's all you had to say? Look at Hasan. Look at him. Sorry. That was nine minutes later. Instagram was being, but that is wild. Yeah, dude. Is your sentence over? Is that it? That was it? That's all you had to say? Look at Hasan. Look at him. Sorry that was nine minutes later.
Starting point is 01:07:07 Instagram was being, but that is wild. Yeah, bro. The hair is even crazier. That boy's going crazy. Yeah, he's going absolutely. But look at that million dollar house. I wish the house. They call him Oman Benjamin.
Starting point is 01:07:22 He's got that LeBron hairline. Dude, I'm telling you. He wishes he had LeBron's hair. He has that Larry DavidBron hairline Dude I'm telling you He wishes he had LeBron's hairline Bro Get This dude He has that Larry David Isis Headline
Starting point is 01:07:29 He's about to be that That Rajneesh dude He's about to be Teaching people how to Get to another dimension Is that Yeah that's his mom That's his mom
Starting point is 01:07:40 I mean yeah that's His mom fine Bro Yeah Let me see your Let me see your mom again His mom yeah Yeah. She's fine. And Rich. Yo, so loaded. His dad. They're loaded. That's why Derek. That's why his son's laying in the cut. He can lay in the cut. Yeah, he can. He can chill. His dad's a rocket scientist. It makes the biggest ribs you've ever seen in this world. Really? His dad literally works for NASA. When I saw him first thing, I said, hey, dog, what do you think of people that think the earth is flat? He got mad. He started laughing, remember?
Starting point is 01:08:08 Oh, yeah. He started laughing at me. I went, all right, cool. Take it easy now. He's like, that's just so stupid, Brendan. Yeah. That's just, what? Yep.
Starting point is 01:08:16 Dang. His dad has an accent? Yeah, it's pretty cool. Oh, thick accent. So does his mom. Yeah. Super thick. Yeah, his son's still single as fuck.
Starting point is 01:08:23 Bro. Single as hell. When I look. Bro, single as hell. When I look at him, I feel single. That makes me want to break up with my girl when I look at him. Yeah, I am. You're single? Yeah, I'm single, man. Yeah, you've been single.
Starting point is 01:08:36 It's tough to meet people in COVID, man. Well, not in Nashville, though. You guys are fucking living like a thing. Yeah, in Nashville you can live. It's definitely a different vibe, but I don't know if anybody's really trying to make moves during COVID, like real forward progress moves. No, it's Netflix and chill.
Starting point is 01:08:50 That's about it. But once things open, like the store's popping, like LA Midnight should be popping. Maybe. You don't know. Well, let's say it is. Are you going to wish you were back here? I can just come back.
Starting point is 01:09:01 Good point. Yeah, you can always come back. It's not like you got banished. My apartment is here. It's open. I mean, I have the keys to it, and I can just come back to it. You can stay with me, too. I got my place.
Starting point is 01:09:10 You can stay with me, though. You're right. I can. Thank you. I appreciate that, man. I might stay over there. And Tiger might wrestle you all day. Yeah, that's a good point, dude.
Starting point is 01:09:18 You did put him to work when he was at the career. That fine little one. Who's that little shorty? Brennan's Instagram. Oh, Boston. That's the one. Yeah, Boston Thick. That little thot. That little thick boy. Who's that little shorty? Bring up Brennan's Instagram. Oh, Boston. That's the one. Yeah, Boston Thick. That little thot.
Starting point is 01:09:26 That little thick boy. Damn. Shorty working too, bro. Bring up that little. Oh, yeah. No, no. One more. There you go.
Starting point is 01:09:34 There we go. Shorty working. And the first comment is Theo. I'm sorry. Look at the back. I'm sorry. Look at the back. I got it.
Starting point is 01:09:42 Damn. Look at them kicks. That's shorty. Fine. Oh, I found one it back. I got it. Damn. Look at them kicks. That's shoddy. Fine. I found one of the, definitely one of the best moments from the old studio. This sad man who was smoking weed by himself. Oh, yeah. Remember when we did relationship advice?
Starting point is 01:10:01 That was my favorite segment. Can we help somebody, people? Yeah, yeah. We definitely should. Smoking some weed. I got caught before doing that, and she wasn't happy about it, but I thought it'd help, so I just started again, and I haven't told her yet.
Starting point is 01:10:19 So, the question is, should I tell her? Who gets mad at someone smoking weed? How old is Brendan? This motherfucker feels different in every clip. Why do I get a blowout? Why do I get that Jersey Shore blowout? Brendan looks nine years old. Brendan changes up his look every three months.
Starting point is 01:10:40 What filter is that, Doug? That's that fine filter. Is it Brendan or Stefan? I don't know. I get that Philly fade, Doug, with that blowout off the top. You look like Vinny from Jersey Shore finally put it all together. Oh, my God, bro. This guy thought you were cool, too.
Starting point is 01:11:01 Dude, I'll tell you about this. If you're getting high and you got a wife, a little bit of weed will make your wife feel like a brand new woman. You know, take the sex to a different place, dude. Yeah, she's complaining about weed to get her high and then eat her ass like groceries. You just gave the guy nine different pieces of advice, man. I'm hoping something sticks. I throw a lot of things. And I hope he connects to one.
Starting point is 01:11:25 So I've been... Yeah, that guy was great. We'll try to get an update from that, man. That guy messaged me a lot after that happened. It didn't go well. If you want the update, I'll give it to you. We ruined his life. And that's why we don't do relationships anymore.
Starting point is 01:11:44 It went really bad. Wow. I think he took some of Brendan's advice and tried to eat her ass. Oh, you're disgusting. That was bad advice, man. I still love you guys, but my wife left me, but that bitch didn't get it. I'm like, oh, shit, dude. It's a podcast.
Starting point is 01:12:00 Brendan. That's trying to make people laugh. I was just joking, man. That's trying to make people laugh. You don't really eat your girl's ass bro Oh my god That was bad advice bro Who knows maybe he's better off
Starting point is 01:12:10 If you can find his Instagram for me That's a good attitude I love those old clips Yeah we're scrolling through the Instagram Now that we're in That's funny Relationship advice I always thought we were helping people. We were.
Starting point is 01:12:26 We should get more of them. We don't have it anymore, do we? Send them in. I mean, it's a lot of guys sending in the same question. How do I meet girls over COVID? I've read that question 50 fucking times. Yeah, man. We ain't here to do that.
Starting point is 01:12:37 50 times, that's it? I thought he was going to do it 2,000 times. I don't know if you guys should do that. I literally just said you ruined a guy's life. Yeah, that's a good point. We've got to do more. We have to fix it now. We have to fix it.
Starting point is 01:12:55 How much lacquer is on here, you think? Oh, yeah, this ain't going to catch fire. I'm going to hide from the fumes. I dig it. Yeah, I dig it. Yeah, I thought I was helping people, but what? But you tried. Well, maybe we should set him up.
Starting point is 01:13:08 You know, now he's a single dude. Yeah. Not the easiest sell, but, you know. That was a nice guy, too. I thought that man was a nice guy. A decent man. Decent man, yeah. Remember when we did the one chip challenge and everyone died?
Starting point is 01:13:24 Oh, my God. The one chip challenge. Remember that? Oh, my God. The one chip challenge. Remember that? It was like three weeks ago. But this one was good. The man is different. Oh, some DS Ellies. But the man that I'm with right now.
Starting point is 01:13:38 Does he have you hostage? Why are you whispering? He doesn't make any noise in the bedroom. She got that nose ring. Let me say this. Won't you put a little sign on your nose to speak up? What kind't make any noise in the bedroom. She gots that nose ring. Let me say this. Won't you put a little sign on your nose to speak up? What kind of dude is he outside the sheets?
Starting point is 01:13:49 Like you want a freak in the bedroom and a normal dude on the street. Is he a Chatty Cathy? Then you get into that bedroom and you expect him to be- He's turned into a Def Jeff. Yeah, Def Jeff. And that's your fault. Are you looking for an orator? Are you looking for somebody who's fucking?
Starting point is 01:14:01 Are you looking for Frederick Douglass? Are you looking for fucking Fred Big Douglass? Fred Durst. You looking for Fred Durst? You want cock? Are you looking for an orator? Are you looking for somebody who's fucking? Are you looking for Frederick Douglass? Are you looking for fucking Fred Dick Douglass? You looking for Fred Durst? You want cock or you want chatter? Sometimes you can't have it all. The guy's just trying to get his nut off and please his girl.
Starting point is 01:14:14 She's looking for a play-by-play of everything that he's doing. You think I'm Joe Buck or Joe Fuck? Dude just wants to chill and bust nuts, girl. Yeah, listen to a book on tape. Get you some of them AirPods. Listen to the King and Sting while you get pounded. I got to say the Instagram cutdowns stepped up when I took over. Yeah, they did. That was good.
Starting point is 01:14:34 That was funny, though. God, we were helping people out, though, weren't we? Doing the Lord's work. I miss it, man. Miss that show. You turn around, buddy. Catch you back on. man miss that show I'd love to do more relationship advice and flaunt my aunts we just like want videos and and of your of your aunts not just pictures cuz it kind of gets to be the same thing a little bit damn that one was from the first episode yeah see that See that? That's in Theo's old studio in Playa Vista.
Starting point is 01:15:05 That's the one where you guys flaunted Nick's grandma, right? And before we go, we're going to launch a new segment, Flaunt My Aunt. This is my Aunt Debbie. She's on the left. Dude, who's Mr. Steal Your Man on the right, though? I'm distracted by your grandma with her booty perked out. She's in the Texas tux bro with the gold chain she looks like carrie is flossy bro like she hung out around the alamo you know what i'm saying
Starting point is 01:15:33 grandma like she has a rolex underneath that texan tuxedo she looked like she hung around staple centers in this in the 60s you know what i'm saying oh your grandma's swag he, leave my grandma alone. You got me at the hungry fucking blurry eye. Shout out to your motherfucking swaggy pee grandma, bro. Hey, can you leave her alone? Dying. Still kicking.
Starting point is 01:15:59 Love you, grandma. Oh shit, Nick, that was your grandma? Yup, that was Nick's grandma. Can you leave her alone She's 90 Look at that Garbage cart too That's cool
Starting point is 01:16:12 What was I saying What do you think Of Lil Nas X going gay Oh yeah Oh I thought it was pretty cool man And also just right on time You know what I'm saying
Starting point is 01:16:20 He's just Perfect timing Even if you're not gay I thought about coming out Yeah Just to boost tickets Really You want more of a gay fan base i don't know dude yeah but you think little naz you think it was a good move i mean i'm sure it's a good i haven't
Starting point is 01:16:33 talked to any black people about this i'm very making love to men as well but it's also a good move for his career good move for his personal life too you know also most people probably knew that he was gay or preferred man. The outfits gave off that vibe. I wouldn't say outfit. He has that kind of like, sometimes to me, like some gay men, they have that, like they've been kind of just looking for sugar a little bit. You know what I'm saying? Like their mouth kind of has that little bit of sugar.
Starting point is 01:16:58 The sweetness. Yeah, it's got that sugar in it. That sweet and low. Yeah, like they just fucking polished off a lemon about eight minutes ago. The last rib and just suck that bad boy dry. They got horses in the back. Yeah, horses in the back. He's in the front.
Starting point is 01:17:15 Who's birthday? Who's birthday? That's good shit, guys. Golly, man. Man, we've been doing the damn thing. Damn. Fun show, man It's a fun fucking show
Starting point is 01:17:27 100 episodes 100 weeks Plus Patreon, yeah, a lot of work A lot of work for Nick and Chin And the editors Yeah, shout out Man Behind the Seas, Joe Rubalcaba He's been editing these episodes since
Starting point is 01:17:43 We moved to this studio And he's a pro What's his last name? Rubalcaba. He's been editing these episodes since we moved to this studio, and he's a pro. He's a pro. What's his last name? Rubalcaba, Brendan. Shuckacaba? They call him the Chupacabra of editing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:53 I knew it. And he's really, I mean, you can't even see him, but he's. And he's rocking a ponytail during COVID times, too. Amen. What a power move. We should get a picture of him so that people can see him in the future. For sure. For sure.
Starting point is 01:18:07 Well, next time I'm in here, I'm going to have a man bun and some highlights. So get your mind right. Changing my hairstyle. And Derek, what are you going for with your hairstyle? Are you going to braid it up? Maybe braid it up. I don't know, man. I want to do something crazy.
Starting point is 01:18:17 Get some extensions. Maybe I'll get a fucking jerry curl. Or a weave. Ooh, what about an S curl? That'd be cool. S curl? Yeah. A fucking ice cube?
Starting point is 01:18:24 A jerry curl. I've long ice cube a jerry curl i i've long said that the jerry curl needs to make a comeback yes there's one guy on instagram that has it but that outside of that i haven't seen that wet look the cb40 look yes mc gusto mc gusto yeah do it dog that dw40 look yeah you actually said that to me like six six years ago. Did I really? Yeah, you were like, I had a friend like that and you were like, hey man,
Starting point is 01:18:47 bring the jerry curl back. Nobody's doing it anymore. Just like that. You're the only person with it. I'm still waiting. Still waiting. Isn't that crazy? I know.
Starting point is 01:18:55 We're still waiting for somebody to have it. I think I'll bring it back, bro. Why not? Why not? What else am I doing with this fucking thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:00 There's also nothing else to do. Open up, man. We hurting out here. Yeah, I don't know. What is it like? Is there a different vibe in the black community at all about the COVID virus? No. I will say this.
Starting point is 01:19:16 I will say this because I do know a lot of black people who are like, I ain't going back to work, bro. Unemployed, they got the bills paid. I know some people like that, too too and I'm not mad at them I know a lot of white people like that exactly you know what I'm saying
Starting point is 01:19:27 so I get it but bro I think mostly everybody's like bro let me let me make some money man yup let me make some money yup
Starting point is 01:19:34 I ain't talking about like a million like a million bro I'm talking about let me make a paycheck come on dog let me get out and do something
Starting point is 01:19:39 bruh that's a paycheck man it's just crazy out there it's tough on the streets but not in here baby 100 D's not in here baby we making motherfucking money Right, that's a paycheck man. Just crazy. I'm just tough on the streets But not in here, baby We getting it done man, thank you guys so much man. Keep touching me brother be to fucking touch me thousand more episodes dog Yep, thank you guys put together the new studio Derek. Thank you so much for coming in, bro Spoil the beans bro for asking, man. I miss you, dude. I fucking love you, man. For real, man. I miss you, Chappelle.
Starting point is 01:20:05 Spoil the beans, bro. Listen to Spoil the Beans if you want to fucking find your boy. That's where I'm at, man. Listen to Spoil the Beans. You can catch Derek on there. And with Asante or no, sometimes? I mean, since COVID happened, no, now it's just guests, man. Asante on the no-fly list, so he's probably not on the podcast.
Starting point is 01:20:17 Oh, yeah. Got Rick Glassman coming up. A lot of people, fun people. So Spoil the Beans. Come check it out. It's a good time. Check it out. Nick Davis, thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:20:23 Nick, studio looks great, brother. Thank you. Thank you, Chin. Thank you, Chappelle. Thank you, Kat, the beans. Come check it out. It's a good time. Check it out. Nick Davis, thank you so much. Nick, studio looks great, brother. Thank you. Chin, thank you. Chappelle, thank you. Kat, the editors. Thank you guys, the listeners, man. Thank you too, bro. Thank y'all, bro.
Starting point is 01:20:33 Y'all did this. This is y'all, bro. Thank you. Start with a dream. Did it? No, it started. We started at the Nordstrom rack. That's what happened.
Starting point is 01:20:40 It actually started with us making fun of each other. Yep. It started with Brian missing, fighting the kid, I need a co-host, and you would come on, and you were really funny. We would rip each other up. We'd light each other up, and then we decided to do a podcast. And in the belly room, I remember that one day where y'all lit each other up on stage. Yep.
Starting point is 01:20:57 I remember that day was crazy. Oh, yeah, that was fun. That was fun. That got Brendan and I off on the wrong foot, to be honest, because he thought I edited it in favor of Theo. He didn't get me lighting Theo up. He missed my first two jokes. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:14 He got Theo lighting me up. I was like, what the fuck? We've all missed those, Brendan. I was like, what the fuck, dude? We miss those every episode somehow. I hated Nick when we first started. I hated Nick when we first started. I hated Nick when we first started. Now I love Nick.
Starting point is 01:21:27 Thanks, brother. Nick's one of the best producers in the game. I talk to Nick all the time now. Oh, with this? Because you talk to him. It doesn't mean anything, Brendan. No, me and Nick are boys. Okay.
Starting point is 01:21:34 Okay, that's fine. You got Nick's picks on Below the Belt. Which I got to keep turning in. I quit betting, actually. I lost $3,000 this year. I didn't have a great weekend last weekend either, so I feel you, man. Thankfully, I wasn't in that. I'm out.
Starting point is 01:21:49 I'm done. I cashed out. I'm in Palm Beach in the year, closing this bullshit year off. Palm Beach, Florida. I'll be at the Palm Beach Improv December 29th through January 2nd. Holla. You can see me doing a live event with Chelsea Lynn, who plays Tammy in all of our videos. And that's going to be, I believe, December 14th or 16th.
Starting point is 01:22:10 That's going to be one night only. You watch it live. It's going to be a live streamed event. That's going to be fun, man. Yeah, $10 ticket. It's going to be a nice ticket. Hell yeah. I know.
Starting point is 01:22:17 It's going to be a good time. Get them, boys. Listen, fans, the show's not happening without you guys. Your submissions, all the characters, all that stuff. It's because of you guys. There's a thousand more. We love you guys. Thanks for watching. Thank you you guys. Your submissions, all the characters, all that stuff. It's because of you guys. There's a thousand more. We love you guys. Thanks for watching. Thank you, God. And my concerts flow is contagious Brows are outrageous, thicker than girls that are
Starting point is 01:22:43 Instagram famous, damn, hungry like I'm Fresh off keto, seeing red like Andrew Santino, every song I hit like the Great Bambino, winning 8th to Queso and the Quesoritos, but everything's Gonna be fine, hate on me I do not mind, Dio looking like The type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets
Starting point is 01:22:59 At all times, they sliding into My DMs, a couple of you tried But couldn't beat him em Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible Brandon's son hit me up He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up?
Starting point is 01:23:16 King and the sting King and the sting King and the sting Bee sting, rat king King and the sting King and the sting Got the bees in the sting, bee sting rat king King in the sting, king in the sting Got the bees in the trap, got the cheese on a string King in the sting, king in the sting King in the sting, bee sting rat king
Starting point is 01:23:39 King in the sting, king in the sting Got the bees in a trap Got the cheese on a string

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