The Golden Hour - Episode 100: The Return of Deric
Episode Date: December 18, 2020In celebration of episode 100 the gang introduces an All New Set, watches Special Messages from Pall Wall, Chris Distefano and more, reminisce on Old KATS Videos and talk Only Fan...s, Kissable Comedians and debut All New Music from - King and the Sting The Album, including the premiere of Thicc Boy Anthem and a Music Video Premiere of Cat Call along with much more!HelloFresh - https://hellofresh.com/80kats use code: 80katsHims - https://forhims.com/katsButcher Box - https://butcherbox.com/katsBlue Nile - https://bluenile.com/ use code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Take your time, dude.
You could kiss Lucy Kay, Dave Chappelle.
Oh, Dave Chappelle.
Dane Cook would make out with you.
Nick Swartzen.
Here's the thing.
Nick Swartzen would definitely make out with you.
Bill Bellamy.
Yeah.
Ooh.
I'd shit out you, Bill.
What's in the world?
Dang, dang.
Buzz Buzz.
Back off my broccolini.
Get your life together.
It is.
Don't touch me, bro.
I'm not touching you, dude.
What are you up, man?
Throw him up.
Throw him up.
Pop, pop, pop, pop.
This one's going to be right at the camera.
Ooh.
Dude, we're balling.
Look at all these cameras.
We're balling.
We stole Howard Stern's set.
What's up?
Howard Stern just signed that $600 million deal.
Did he?
Yep.
Howard Stern did? $120 a year. He said, Joe Rogan, hold my beer signed that $600 million deal. Did he? Yep. Howard Stern did?
120 a year.
He said, Joe Rogan, hold my beer, dog.
He got more than Rogan?
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
Well, yeah, he did.
Well, the overall deal.
Yeah.
Wow.
Rogan's like Deshaun Watson, and then Howard Stern's like Patrick Mahomes.
Longer deal, more money.
More money.
But then one's more entertaining than the other.
Rogan's way better.
Let's be real.
Guys, we have a new studio.
New studio, huh?
Yeah.
I walked in and was like, where am I?
New studio, also Nick's new apartment.
Yes, Nick's new apartment.
Let's be real.
That couch is way too comfortable for just the culture corner.
I did find a pair of boxers back there in the morning.
I fucking knew it.
We should, episode 100, we got a special guest here all the way from, is it fair to say Nashville, D?
I don't know where you're at these days.
I don't live anywhere no more, Doug.
You're just a roadie.
I'm a fucking roadie, baby.
You're a little lot lizard, Doug.
Yeah, we're all getting around now, son.
I'm getting around.
You're a bag of bonds.
Where you living these days?
Ooh, look at that head of hair. Oh, damn, Doug. That shit's fly. Thank now, son. I'm getting around. You're a bag of bonds. Where are you living these days? Ooh, look at that.
Oh, damn, Doug.
That shit's fly.
Thank you, bro.
That quarantine haircut.
Yeah, bro.
I'm keeping it fresh.
It's coming in thick, man.
Have you been treating it or something?
What you doing with it?
Conditioning.
And you know what I'm saying?
I'm letting my girl play in it.
Ooh.
That shit's dope.
You thinking about braiding it up, maybe?
Yo, I think I am going to get the fucking Lamar Jackson.
I'm not even kidding.
Those ones, that's what I'm going to get.
That is not Derek's hair.
Come on, baby, that's me.
That's the goat, right?
That's the goat.
That's George Jefferson right there, man.
I feel like everyone during quarantine has grown their hair out.
Look at my shit.
I'm actually putting some highlights in it tomorrow and cutting it to a man bun.
Who do you think?
George Jefferson or Richard Jefferson?
In a fight?
Overall.
Wait, from the Nets?
Yeah.
You talking about RJ?
Now, RJ hosts a podcast now, and they have LeBron on there every other week crying about something.
Well, I saw that episode.
Right?
LeBron was like, Kyrie hurt my feelings.
He said, I'm not a clutch shooter
I'm like bitch
You're worth a billion dollars
Why the fuck you care
What other people say
Who do you think here though
We're saying looks wise
Are we just talking about
Hairline or actual fight
Just overall
Who would you rather be
You think Richard or
Is the guy on the left dead
Oh
Or George
Is homeboy on the left dead
George passed away
Yeah George passed
God he was talented
Yeah man
Yeah super talented
Roast machine
RJ is a beast too though now Want some rings With the Miami Heat Dead? George passed away, yeah. Yeah, George passed away. God, he was talented. Yeah, man. Yeah, he's super talented. Roast machine.
RJ is a beast too, though, now.
Won some rings with the Miami Heat.
But where did RJ grow up?
Because Jefferson came from the bottom, man. He worked his way up.
Yeah.
They moved on up.
They moved on up.
Yeah, to the east side.
He's back to the bottom now.
To a deluxe apartment.
In the sky.
Mm-hmm.
They did it, man.
George Jefferson. Born in Harlem. Wow. apartment in the sky they did it man george is born in harlem wow 236 episodes of the jefferson
born in harlem in 1929 yep wow and then rj he i bet it was someplace with a silver spoon in his
mouth he seems yeah i'd rather be george no wow you guys are hating on all rookie team his parents
are christian missionaries around frequently growing up.
He attended Moon Valley.
Born in L.A. and then went to school in Phoenix.
Good early life.
There you go.
Phoenix represent, dog.
Shout out to Phoenix, baby.
Wow.
So, yeah, I'm saying George Jefferson.
I'm saying George Jefferson for me.
Shin looks like he owns the hottest wok in L.A.
Look at him.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, we're in a new studio.
That jacket's fire.
You're even talking about it.
The new studio?
Yeah. It's very Howard Stern. Shout out to Nick Davis and his girls setting this Yeah, dude. Dude, we're in a new studio. That jacket's fire. You're even talking about it. The new studio? Yeah.
It's very Howard Stern. Shout out to Nick Davis
and his girls setting this up, man.
They did it overnight, bro. Yeah, it looks great in here.
This is so dope, Nick.
And a large majority of today, as you guys
were here for when we did it.
We have 19 cameras now.
Are we in 3D?
We have been, actually.
360 on Patreon.
I'll only meet me at 20.
You can see the whole studio in the room.
Wow.
I still have no idea what that looks like, though.
I've never seen it.
Yeah, I've never seen it.
Now, fans can pick the 360 option, zoom in on Kat's feet and mouth.
Okay, here's the thing.
If anyone's going to make money off of my feet, it's going to be me.
Well, get to it.
In my mouth?
In my mouth?
Yeah.
I was thinking what I think people would do out there, you know?
They ain't just into feet.
Yeah, maybe I should start an OnlyFans then if people are zooming in anyways.
Yeah, charge a little extra dollar and then you can zoom in on whatever you want.
Oh, well, maybe not whatever you want.
You can zoom in on Theo's upper lip, whatever you want, dog.
See? Get it. Wait, the upper lip? Why not the bottom lip the bottom like that's the good
But well, we can see the bottom can see the upper you gotta really look into
I'm pretty crunk that's new studio
Derek's here hell's there chins here Nick's here Paul walls here. Oh
See live me is not oh, thank God. I Wall's here. Oh, shit. What?
Is he live?
He is not.
Oh, thank God.
I'm not ready for this.
But he's still alive.
Yeah, yeah.
Damn, look at that grill, son.
Grillrilla, baby.
Dude, and he ripped on fucking Little Brow's album.
Ripped it.
He did.
Have you heard that track yet?
I haven't heard it yet.
Oof.
You haven't heard the Thick Boy Anthem either?
Oof.
With Mike Studd and Jelly Roll?
Do you got that album, Nick?
Oh, wait, I have heard some of it, yeah.
I'm going to try to get the Paul Wall one from Browse as we move on. I'll text you the anthem right now with Mike Studd and fucking Jelly Roll.
Are we going to have an album listening party?
We should.
We should.
That can be the next Cats After Dark.
Damn.
That's a good idea.
Let's turn up in here.
But Paul Wall, as did a number of people,
was proud of us for reaching 100 episodes.
A couple people sent in congratulations videos,
and we'll start with Paul's.
Feel free to stop him at any time.
Maybe not Paul's, but we've got some other characters
that you might want to react to.
What it do?
It's your boy, Paul Wilde.
Got us some big congrats out.
Big congrats to the king in the spring, D.O.
Brendan.
What's up, baby?
Yes.
100 episodes in.
Okay.
Yeah, man.
I'm going to be a guest on one of your episodes. Can't wait to come back, man. Y'all keep pushing, man. I'm a big fan. I love y'all, man. I'm going to be a guest on one of your episodes.
Can't wait to come back, man.
Y'all keep pushing, man.
I'm a big fan.
Love y'all, man.
Already 100 episodes.
I love it.
Wow, bro.
Looks like he was in a phantom or some shit.
Dude, man, that's crazy, bro.
Who would have known when we started this journey,
Paul Wall would be a fan and featured in it.
He's got that enamel.
It's just bedazzled, man.
It's a beautiful smile.
You still haven't got a front from him?
Uh-uh.
I've got to go.
When I go to Houston, I'm going to go down there.
Because that's bedazzled up.
That is.
Now, would you get bedazzled?
Would you do just the bottom, or are you going to do top and bottom?
I'll do top and bottom.
See, I think if you just bottomed, that shit would look lit.
You have a good set of teeth
for it, I think. You can't see my bottoms
very much, so. Wait, smile?
Only if I do like that, because otherwise
Oh, you got an underbite?
Or overbite, one of them.
They don't tell you which is which.
No, I'll tell you. Yeah, you have an underbite.
Then why'd you ask me?
I wanted you to acknowledge that you have it instead of me just calling you out. You look like a British bull you. Yeah, you have an underbite. Then why'd you ask me? Because I wanted you to acknowledge that you have it
instead of me just calling you out.
Let me think.
You look like a British bulldog.
Yeah.
That shit's dope.
Like a French bulldog.
Like a French bulldog.
What would you give?
Oh, I want the fangs.
Oh, the fangs?
The two vampire fangs, bro.
Oh, that would look dope.
Come on, bro.
Right?
And I can do that?
Right there?
See, I want just one gold one.
Just, oh, like an auntie. Like a wet band. Right? And I can do that? See, I want just one gold one.
Like an auntie.
Like a wet band.
Yeah, like an auntie.
I feel like I would go for either the fangs or the one diamond on one of the...
Now that Gabby Labby,
who we had on the last episode,
she had one.
I think it was a crystal. I don't think it was a diamond.
I think it was a crystal.
She had a geode or something. I don't think it was a crystal. I don't think it was a diamond. I think it was a crystal. She had a geode or something.
Geode.
Yeah.
I don't think it was a real diamond.
She had that geode on there.
Call me crazy.
Look at this.
Those things go hard.
Nice grills.
That's what Chappelle can do with his gap.
Just fill it in with a little diamond.
Chappelle, get that diamond.
Hey, gap teeth, baby.
Come on.
Yeah.
Get that diamond back strap in the middle, Chappelle. Nick's got one, too. He can, get that diamond. Hey, Gattee, baby, come on. Yeah. Get that diamond backstrap in the middle, Chappelle.
Nick's got one, too.
He can do it, too.
Nick's got to do it with me.
Nick looks like Paul Wall, dude, like an Amish Paul Wall.
A little bit.
A little bit.
Do it side by side with you and Paul Wall, Nick.
Paul Wall on Rump Springer.
Paul Wall, baby.
Yeah.
Yeah, Paul's over the wall.
And out into the world Damn
I gotta confess guys he's not even a fan of the show
It's been me the whole time
Damn he looks cool
He did a good job
Skin looks good
He lost weight
His wife does workout videos too
Is she like a Instagram fitness instructor?
Fitness lady
Is she working on her fitness?
And we're her witness?
I don't know
I know Jelly Rolls girl does the OnlyFans thing
She's killing it
She does amazing for herself
She got him that Rolex for his B-Day
Oh yeah
That old diamond rolly.
He's got himself a boss. If he's bringing in
that type of money.
That OnlyFans bag.
Would y'all do OnlyFans?
I would do on it. My question is
immediately no.
My answer is immediately no.
I'm an entrepreneur.
I'm a businessman as they say in the streets depends what i have to do on there i'm trying to post some dick pics all the
time what if someone wants like photos of you and a thong just like behind like your ass yeah
i feel like it's a bad look i got kids and then people screenshot it and then gets blasted out
like our boy yeah but like like our boy tiger like his dick pic went viral yeah but that was good i think it went well for him yeah he has a great day that
was a good move yeah it was a good move very good move way better than captain america's dick pic
oh yeah see that wasn't captain america's wasn't bad it was just he could have done better there
could have been a better photo yeah yeah right it was like brett forbes what else you got nick
photo. Yeah.
What else you got, Nick?
Nick passed away.
There he is.
Oh, is that that 360? I was getting in my Paul Wall
uniform. Run back real quick.
What camera's that?
We have 19 cameras
in there.
That's not the only guy who sent in a video.
Paul Wall, baby.
I'm the people's champ.
Oh shit, you're looking sleepy, babe.
Oh, it's Chrissy... Chrissy Teigen. It's Chrissy
Bitch Shit.
Chrissy Fatass, I don't know, Chrissy...
Whatever. He says he has a face for TV
and a body for radio.
He has a body
of like a... He has kind of like an ice skater
body. He has like a
lunch lady body. Speed track, not the
dancer. He has a boxy body.
Apollo Anton Ono?
No, he wishes. I met
Apollo Ono one time.
He came on your show?
Didn't he kiss you on the show?
What?
Chris DiStefano, not Apollo Anton Ono, and she is correct.
Chris DiStefano.
Chris DiStefano.
He tried to, but I was straight.
You pushed him away?
Did you tell him no means no?
Huh?
I told him no one time.
These are man-on-man preventatives.
Look, something that people aren't doing right now is spending time with one another.
Dude, people that cook together stay together.
Maybe your friend died.
Maybe your friend didn't.
But what I'm telling you right now is that you can get great meals from HelloFresh.
Yes, daddy.
Yes, HelloFresh.
They got burgers.
They got meatloaf.
What do you need?
They got salmon slices, everything.
Yes, sir.
Listen, you want to be a dope-ass chef?
You're going to look like going with HelloFresh.
Go to HelloFresh.com slash 80cats.
Use the code 80cats to get $80 off and free shipping, son.
Yep, some companies, they don't even get you the right stuff.
You say you joined the group, and they send you a damn chef's hat and say,
Good luck, buddy.
Yep, not here, dog. Not here, baby. they send you a damn chef's hat and say, good luck, buddy. Yep. Not here, dog.
Not here, baby.
They send you the ingredients.
These are fresh ingredients and they got all kinds of stuff.
It doesn't matter if you're trying to be vegan, if you're trying to be military, non-military,
if you're trying to just have fish or just have soup, they have everything.
It can be for family.
It can be for just a couple.
And it's fresh, man.
And HelloFresh.
Listen, go to HelloFresh.com
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Use the code 80cats.
Get $80 off, including free shipping.
Get it now.
Yep, that's right.
You can get HelloFresh
and you can also switch
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Green Chef and EveryPlate.
When your tastes change
and you want to eat
a little bit differently,
go to HelloFresh.com slash 80kats when your tastes change and you want to eat a little bit differently. Mix it up. Yep, mix it up.
Go to HelloFresh.com slash 80KATS
and use code 80KATS to get $80 off, including free shipping.
Dog, when it comes to meat, I know you know your way around some meat, Dale.
And when it comes to meat, we're talking about quality meat.
Meat matters.
That's why ButcherBox is part of this show because guess what?
You want 100% grass-fed finished beef, free-range chicken.
We're not talking about them locked-up chickens.
We're talking about free-range happy chickens.
We're talking about heritage breed pork.
What are you talking about, dude?
Wild-caught salmon.
Come on, Daddy.
You're talking about that meat for your stupid mouth.
Get away from me, man.
I'll tell you this, bro.
If you want grass-fed beef, you got to get grass-fed beef.
Dog, can I put my meat on your grill?
No, you cannot, sir.
You're a hater.
What I'm talking about is they got finished beef as well.
Sometimes you get a piece of beef and don't even, you know.
It's not finished.
Well, look, it's still trying to run off.
Yeah, dog.
How about every month ButcherBox ships a curated selection of high-quality meats right to your crib?
Sometimes you get meat that's still in a coma.
I said, damn, I want finished beef. Finish it up, man. ButcherBox is a curated selection of high-quality meats right to your crib. Suddenly you get meat that's still in a coma. I said, damn, I want finished beef.
Finish it up, man.
Butcher Box is a no-brainer.
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PG, baby, crazy.
What I'm talking about is with Butcher Box, you get the highest quality meat for about $6 a meal.
Oh, my God.
That's nuts, man.
Bacon for Life is back.
I got to tell you that.
People have been wandering around.
They found a guy in the woods, and he probably died.
But before he did, he said, is bacon for life coming back?
I said, yeah, you stupid hoe.
Bacon for life right now.
New members can get bacon for life when you sign up.
Just go to butcherbox.com slash cats.
That's a package of free bacon in every box for the rest of your subscription
when you go to butcherbox.com slash cats.
Let's see this, babe.
Hey, what's up, Theo and Brendan?
Just want to say congratulations on the 100th episode of King and the Sting.
Thank God you guys got on Joe Rogan when you did,
and now you're both multi-fucking millionaires.
Okay?
So just thank Christ.
I would get down on my knees every day and lick his balls.
Okay?
That's for Brendan.
Thank the good Lord above that you got on the Joe Rogan show two to three years ago and absolutely exploded.
And now you're fucking multi-millionaire
and I live in a three-floor walk-up.
I love you.
Bruh. I live in a three-floor
walk-up.
Amazing.
Unbelievable.
See, at the end he gave you
another little kiss. You saw that?
Would you kiss him?
If you had to kiss another comedian that was a man, Brendan, who would it be?
Besides Joe Rogan.
I'd probably go Bobby Lee because he's real smooth and he's small.
That's fair.
He's a little feminine.
As long as he's shaved, that mustache would gross me out.
He's not going to shave for you, Brendan.
It's not like you get to choose how he is.
You take him as he is.
He seems like a tender man
Take him as he is
You can't like
I don't know the rules of kissing male comics
You don't own him Brendan
Who would you choose to kiss
I've never thought about it but
Give us your top 5
Top 5
Yeah give us your
MySpace topic.
There's only four, Brendan.
Let me think.
I feel like you'd make out with Bert.
I feel like you'd make out with Bert.
I would not.
How about one living and one dead if you had to choose?
I mean, Bert has nice eyes, but he's not handsome, dude.
And he doesn't... I don't like him.
He's too hairy.
I like him.
Sorry.
I love Bert.
I would not... Not to kiss. He's too hairy. I like him. Sorry. I love Bert. I would not.
Not to kiss.
He's too hairy.
Cuddling.
Yeah, he does seem cuddly.
Yeah, I don't know who.
That's a good question, man.
Mulaney?
No.
He's not hairy.
I'm thinking not hairy.
Not hairy.
I don't want hairy.
Bobby Lee might be the best way to go if you don't want hairy.
Sebastian. Ooh. That's a smooth man. Oh, yeah. I don't want Harry. Bobby Lee might be the best way to go if you don't want Harry.
Sebastian.
Ooh. That's a smooth man.
Oh, yeah.
I think Sebastian because he also has kind of like an artistic type of like a concierge type of vibe.
Yeah.
I feel like I would kiss him and then I'd know where the best restaurant in town was.
Yeah.
Like he whispers a little secret while he kisses him.
It would just show up in my head after the kiss.
Like, oh, okay. Oh, Joe Coy might be a good one to make out with.
Oh, Joe Coy's another one.
Yeah, he hasn't been shaving recently, though.
He has not.
But he is half Asian, so you know the smooth
factor is there. He looks smooth.
He has that stubble, though. I'm not feeling
the stubble. Yeah, I think I would
go... Ooh, hairy.
I'm gonna go Sebastian. No homo brah, but
What about Andrew Schultz he's not very at all yes facial hair though, here's that like that what warrior mustache
Like facial hair thing going on for anything
No, who would you go with Derek
No.
No?
Who would you go with, Derek?
It's hard.
It's hard, bro, because I like a lot of dudes out there, man.
Yeah, I feel you.
It's hard to choose one.
Yeah, bro.
Yeah, no, no.
Cheers, chill.
You want me to rattle some off for you? Yeah, get rattled.
Because I'm thinking Sebastian because that's who in my head I was because he's so not my type.
Yeah, thank you for that one.
He wasn't my type, but that's what I like about him.
Santino? No, he's aggressive. He don't my type, but that's what I like about him. Santino?
No, he's aggressive.
He don't kiss right.
Bill Burr?
I feel like Bill Burr would kiss and he'd punch me.
I don't know if Bill Burr would kiss.
Does he know how to?
He doesn't seem like somebody that knows how to kiss.
I don't think he kisses.
Yeah.
Could you imagine him kissing somebody?
I couldn't.
Never.
Yeah.
Never.
Very asexual body.
Very hard to imagine, yeah.
We'll move on once Derek answers.
Why are you putting me on like that, dog?
Take your time, dude.
You could kiss Lucy Kay, Dave Chappelle.
Oh, Dave Chappelle.
Dane Cook would make out with you.
Nick Swartzen.
Here's the thing.
Nick Swartzen would definitely make out with you.
Bill Bellamy.
Yeah.
Ooh.
I'd fuck the shit out you, Bill.
What's up?
All right.
Bill, what up?
I'm shooting my shot, baby.
This is my chance.
What about one of Marlon Wayans would be fun.
Either way.
Either way.
Yeah, I'd make out with Mike Epps.
All right.
Bro, Mike Epps is a gangster, dog.
Hell yeah.
I think that's what Brendan likes, though.
But I'd go for-
I've just named all black comics.
Dude, I'd let Preacher Lawson jack me up.
Faison Love. I'm changing mine bro
Cat Williams
My gifts is a savage bro
I'd make out with Kevin Hart because I'd have to bend down
Because I'm all big
Hold him in your arms like a koala
Yeah
I'd put him in one of those pouches
That I put my kids in
Is this new? That was his new special That would be cool. Yeah, I'll put him in one of those pouches that I put my kids in.
Oh, shit.
Is this new?
I think that's new, yeah. That was his new special.
Oh, damn.
Six to nine.
Damn.
Yeah, I'm going to go with Marlon Wayans, actually.
Okay.
Yeah.
Marlon Wayans.
Yeah.
Because Marlon's almost, he would be a handsome woman, even.
Are we seeing it?
White chicks.
Oh, yeah.
He's a beautiful white woman
you can always close your eyes
and just imagine that
yeah
I might go with Mark Curry
oh Mark Norman
I feel like is soft
he doesn't have fish in his hair
that's a good one too
very non-threatening
yeah and I feel like if you
we're gay
yeah
hey
oh
you're gay
I don't know if he still does it
He just closes out and he goes
I'm gay and I'm Kevin Hart
So Jews
That's my time I'm Kevin Hart and I'm gay
And he leaves
I don't know why he does that
What's this Nick
This is Jack Shore man
Yeah would you guys kiss Jack Shore
No
He sent in a video for us
What's up guys
It's the king of the stings here at Welshman
Jack Shore
I want to say a big congrats to Brendan and Theo
And the whole crew there
On the first hundred episodes
Some of the funniest stuff I've seen in my life
So the first hundred were through the roof
And I'm sure the next 100 will be even better.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Buzz, buzz.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
You know Chappelle gets excited
any time he hears an accent from the UK.
You know he's around right now.
With that Oasis clock above his head.
Where did he say he's from?
He's not from Manchester.
He's from Wales.
Yeah, he's from Wales.
He's a Welshman. You guys are
bros now, right? Yeah, we're like good friends because
we're Oasis fans. You guys be DMing each other
pictures and shit? Oh, we DM each other all the time.
Yeah, I bet you do, Playboy. He's a champ. Wins his next fight.
We know who Chappelle would kiss.
I kiss UFC fighters, dog.
Hey, at least, yeah.
At least he's not kissing some lame-ass
comic. Yeah, you're right.
You know what I'm saying? At least he can defend you in the streets.
Yeah.
At least if there's spousal abuse in your relationship,
people will understand it'll be on him.
Yep.
It's a fair fight.
It's fair.
Yeah, he's a beast, man.
Who's he fighting next?
I think he had a fight against Khalid Taha, but it got canceled.
Because of COVID?
Someone had COVID, but I don't know what he's got.
Damn, he's a fighter.
Nothing on the docket yet.
He won his last one since coming on King of the Sting.
I just knew that.
Quick work.
He had some cancelled bouts.
Damn, a bunch of cancelled bouts.
And then we got a video from one of our favorites.
Oh, yeah.
Hannah Barron, yeah. Hanna Baron, yeah.
Hanna Baron, no.
Hey, y'all.
I'm out here in Kansas today freezing my butt off.
Me and Dad are actually starting on us a little hunting cabin on our land out here.
But I wanted to congratulate Brandon and Theo today for their 100th episode of King of the Stains.
Y'all are doing great.
I can't thank y'all enough for having
me on the show and letting me be a part of the family.
Y'all keep doing what you're doing.
Appreciate y'all.
We're going to have to fight to the death for
Hannah's love. We're going to have to fight to the death
for Hannah's love. Well, considering she said
Theo.
She's from the South, so they can't say
Brandon. They can't say Brandon.
I think Theo's in the clubhouse.
Brandon.
She was saying Brandon.
Oh, yeah.
She was saying Brandon.
Yeah, it's just a southern.
Yeah.
She got that twang.
Dude, we should do it like Love Island.
Have you ever seen Love Island?
Yeah, I think I have.
We should do that.
Yeah, and she has to pick.
Oh, that would be interesting.
Let's make Hannah fucking pick.
Yeah.
I'll do it.
I'll fucking do it right now.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, dog.
This would have been your ex-wife, Derek.
You're lucky you weren't there that episode.
You're lucky you weren't there, man.
The wine lips go hard.
I ain't fucking.
Look at her.
The wine lips.
Baby wine house lips
End of watch two
Thank you for having me be a part of your magical journey
Get that snake out girl
Hold on I'm getting a message
Important message it's coming from here
Oh Damn Oh important message it's coming from here oh dude I laughed so hard when she was
she had to change she didn't even change
you was showing me her tattoo she turned
around we're all just staring that feels
like that ass Derek that ass out.
Derek is so confused.
Man, I just didn't know.
Because she's shaking her ass and y'all were like, yeah.
And I'm like, oh, yeah.
She did it.
Yeah, she was a guest in Culture Corner and brought a snake.
And then she was showing Kat her tattoo and pulled her pants down.
She had an ass.
Because her tattoo was right on her thigh, so she had to face towards me.
She's a dancer.
And ass towards them.
Yeah.
She's a dancer. And she's towards them. She's a dancer.
She's an exotic dancer, musician.
You can get some of her tracks on iTunes.
She's a DJ.
She's a snake charmer.
Performer all around.
She's basically
modern day type of person.
Renaissance woman.
Gig economy.
She's like the P. Diddy.
The female Mexican P. Diddy. Ooh, who is this?
She's like the female Mexican P. Diddy.
This is someone who's probably upset he wasn't named of who he would like to kiss.
Who is this tomato juice addict?
Hey, Theo, hey, Shob.
Congrats on 100 episodes.
We miss you down here at the Motherlode.
Tickly Theo, come back.
And you too, Slob on the Knob, Sloppy Shob.
We miss you, boys.
Kisses, congrats.
He's so stupid.
Who is that?
That's Andrew Santino.
You didn't know who that was?
No.
Do we know other redheads?
I just thought it was some guy you knew.
No, dude.
He misses you, not me.
But he seemed like he was joking. Slob on the knob, shop. Slob on the knob. He misses you, not me. But he seemed like he was joking.
Slap on the knob, Sean.
Slap on the knob.
We miss you.
Come have a kiss.
He's looking good.
Damn, he looks good, huh?
What did he get?
I guess it looks like he got work done, huh?
He's got some fillers, yeah.
He gets that FX money.
Yeah, he's got that FX money, man.
Now a little dicky too much.
Now he looks like a Kardashian.
Yeah.
That boy's fine.
Wow, that's awesome, man.
So everybody's just sending those thank you,
sending the congratulations videos?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, great.
Cool.
Can't rip off them?
Did you get that song, Nick?
Yeah, yeah. This shit is so hard. I want you to think you're in the club. Can't rip off them like Did you get that song Nick? Yeah yeah
This shit is so hard
I want you to think you're in the club
Your cheeks are out Theo
Have you seen Craig's News Live?
Don't be scared to turn that shit up Nick
Let Theo get his cheeks out
Feel it
Who is this?
Is this Lil Browz?
Yep
He's a good boy Austin. My wrist man, you know what it is. I've been getting my weight up. So right with the big boys I'll make a big noise out of town make a big place. We know it would end up like this boy
I see the song from a parking lot and I got everything
Only got one life to live better do it big
Mike's thick Need it thick, girl, for the thick boy I need everything I get, super thick boy
Used to have a model bitch, now I gotta pick one
Last night went late, yeah, we had a sick one
And I like options, I don't like to pick one
And she like them thick, so I told options. I don't like to pick one. It's like a big so I told a bitch come get some
Good boy. Hey, don't they never stood a chance with us got that hand
Come on I need everything thick, thick, super thick. From my wallet to my check. I don't want it if it's skinny, but I need it if it's thick.
Need it thick, girl.
Put a thick boy.
I need everything I get super thick, boy.
Thick, thick, super thick.
From my wallet to my check.
I don't want it if it's skinny, but I need it if it's thick.
Thick, thick, thick. it's thick. Thick. Need it. Thick, girl.
Thick, thick, thick.
There's jelly.
Come on. I heard your friend laughing when I told her I was thick.
She said, Jelly Roll, you fat.
I said, I'm talking about my dick.
And you know I'm holding.
So frozen, gives me cold chills.
My bitch is super bad, and she's thicker than oatmeal.
In the club with my bubbles, getting drunk. Nicole chills my bitches super bad and she stick of it. Oh
Yeah How hard is that? A club album? Yeah, dog. Shaw Records. You don't fuck with Shaw Records, y'all.
Dick, dick, dick, dick.
Dick, dick.
Lil' Brow's killed it.
Bro.
How hard is that song?
I can't believe it's a real studio.
It sounds like a real fucking studio.
We got a whole album.
You haven't heard all the songs we got?
I didn't even...
What?
Yeah, me and Phil started a record label.
I didn't.
Yeah, I took... Shaw Records. I didn't. Yeah, I took- Shawb Records?
Shawb Records.
I didn't start that.
Well, you know, we'll call it whatever, but I took the money from our zoo in Mexico and
put it into the music.
Oh, nice.
That's why the ostriches didn't get delivered.
Oh, yeah.
Modern day Sugar Knight, bro.
Look at you.
Yeah, bro.
Sugar Knight, bro.
Sugar Knight.
Stevie a Knight.
Stevie a Knight.
I stole your joke there, Derek. It's all right. Stevie a Knight. Stevie a Knight.
I stole your joke there, Derek.
It's all right.
It was a good tag.
Yeah, we're going to shoot a music video.
We got a marching band.
Damn, they went in, man. We actually got another video to debut from the album.
Actual music video, too.
A music video?
Let's hear it, dog.
Damn, we straight record studio now.
We like Hot 107.
I'm big.
Oh.
We're like Luke 106.
I haven't seen this either.
Oh, shit.
I see you, cat.
And she was like
five foot something
A little rambunctious
DMs always getting flooded
Guys always trying to
offer money for a meet and greet And getting shut down when they try to see the
feet
The first time
And I even tried to call her Katine but it still didn't matter cuz she left me on scene
That girl so bad so beautiful the way she walk way she talk like a movie roll
Harder than wasabi on a sushi roll and all the guys are in her DMs like Hey cat, would you please reply back?
Cause it's been like six weeks since you left me on your side
You know that I can't help it I got cat scratch fever
Since the first time I've seen her
It was hard to let this get old
I'ma shoot my shot with a cat call
I posted a picture with cat
Too hard to do is mess me up
Asking me for any advice
How to get a girl we like
They said that they would do anything for her
They wanna sit in the culture car
And they wanna do a meet and greet
They don't want only fans, they want only fans
That girl so hot, so beautiful
When she talk, when she talk like a movie role
Hotter than wasabi on a sushi roll
And all the guys are in her DMs like
Hey, Kyle, could you please reply?
Cause it's been like six weeks
Since you left me on scene
But I can't help it, I got cat scratch fever
Since the first time I seen her
And I'm about to rescue her
Cause she's so big that I can't go on I'm about to rescue y'all Hey mom
Damn
That was the first time I've seen you
Me too, that video was cute as fuck
That's the best man
That's my favorite song I think
Yeah that's a great song, that one the Hannah Barron one is my favorite
Oh Hannah Barron goes hard too
When Chin hits that I'll drive all the way to Alabama I get chills Yeah, that's a great song. That one, the Hannah Barron one's my favorite. Oh, Hannah Barron goes hard too. Wow.
When Chin hits that, I'll drive all the way to Alabama.
I get chills.
I appreciate it.
Chin went in on those vocals, huh, Chin?
Take us through that.
If I do vocals, I'll go all the way in.
For sure.
All the way in. All the way in.
You wrote those lyrics, Chin?
No, I did.
I did.
Little Brows did.
Damn.
Okay.
You went most of the way in, though.
I'll take those lyrics and I'll go all in.
You went 75 in?
Dog, how crazy is this?
Lil Browz entered a white rapper only contest on Cat.
And now he's doing a whole album with us.
Did you hear the story of how he came to do that video?
I thought he met a few at an AA meeting or some shit.
No, he actually went to go get Chick-fil-A on a Sunday night.
Didn't realize it was Sunday.
Pulled up to the parking lot.
Realized everything was closed. Decided to record a rap night, didn't realize it was Sunday, pulled up to the parking lot, realized everything was closed,
decided to record a rap.
And that's how it happened. Wow. That's his origin
story right there. Chick-fil-A's closed,
I'm gonna enter a white rapper contest.
That's beautiful.
That's how a lot of white rappers start.
That's how most start. Frustration
from Chick-fil-A. Damn, man.
G-Eazy, Logic.
They all started like that. Chick-fil-A's closed, man. I've had that fucking Sunday. G-Eazy, Logic. They all started like that.
This Chick-fil-A's closed.
I'm about to show these motherfuckers.
And then he ended up living like blocks from the studio.
Yeah.
Like he lives in the-
Dude, and then-
What we're saying is the guy is a stalker.
What we're saying is we filed a restraining order against him.
But think about it.
We got fucking Mike Studd, Jelly Roll. we got fucking mike stud jelly roll you got
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And it's once a week.
Once a week. 100 weeks?
What are you guys' favorite moments
from the first 100?
Ooh, the Iggy Azalea rap has always been my favorite.
Ooh, that was good.
I think that's not what I said.
That's the question.
That might have been the funniest moment on Cats.
You know my heart?
Yeah.
Spit it, dog.
Pussy, pussy, Iggy.
Oh, no.
Iggy, Iggy, pussy.
Oh, shit.
Make it a two-week suspension.
Iggy, Iggy, pussy, Illy.
Wetter than the Amazon tastes this kitty.
Silly Billy.
Pop and pilly.
Smoke him like a Swiss shit like this, Billy.
Mold him.
Ah, soak him.
Ah, hook him like crack after shock.
That's all I got.
That's all I got.
I choked. I choked.
I choked.
Hold on.
You know your shit, though.
T.C. Channey goes, oh.
But then right after that was one of the years ago sketch,
and that might have been the hardest.
Dude, years ago, I've never laughed so hard.
You know when you sent me the countdowns, Nick?
I could not wait to post that.
I laughed so fucking hard.
Years ago. That was good.
You're going to do a spoken word
for us now, right? Right.
Tell us what we're about to hear.
Just a freestyle. Okay.
I'm just going to think it up. Freestyle?
Let me sit back. Go ahead, Marshall.
Okay.
Years ago, they tried to...
Years ago, they tried to put me in the...
This is a lie.
The girl.
The woman.
Did you want to try to read something from your book?
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
And look at the first comment on that video, too.
What is it?
What is the person?
You can't blame him.
Not after what they tried to do to him years ago.
I hope he's doing well.
I actually have an update on Marshall.
Oh, what happened?
He passed away?
I was a huge, huge goal to get him here for the 100th episode.
I wanted to have Lil Browz record a song years ago on the verse, but then him walk in.
And we've been on the phone and stuff.
And yeah, he said his whole family got COVID.
And his dad, who was elderly, passed away like two weeks ago.
Well, this got sad.
But I mean, like in loving memory,
he was like,
man, I would,
I'm totally down.
I've been watching you guys.
I'm digging it,
but I'm just kind of grieving right now.
R.I.P. dude.
R.I.P.
Beast moments.
I've laughed so fucking hard.
There's been times
where I'm laughing so hard.
They're not even a show.
I just keep laughing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll see you last hard
and I'll get hard.
That's crazy.
100 episodes once a week, 100 weeks.
Not over two years, right?
Yeah.
Oh, here's freaking Riley Mao.
Riley Mao.
Hey, Brendan.
Hey, Theo.
Congratulations on y'all's 100th episode of King of the States.
Why are you so serious?
Brendan, it was super nice to meet you when you were out here in Nashville with the entire gang.
Thanks, buddy.
Theo, man, thank you so much for everything.
Oh, crying.
For having me on the show, becoming your little Asian side piece.
You know, I love it.
Okay.
Yeah, just thank you so much
for everything
I mean both of y'all
I just can't wait to
continue more in the
in the new year
well it's probably the time to tell you
you're fired
you heard it from me here first
Riley you're fired
why do you say that
no we'll have him back in soon man whenever we get whenever we do a solo episode You heard it from me here first. Riley, you're fired. Why did you say that?
No, we'll have him back in soon, man, whenever we do a solo episode.
Thank you, Riley.
Appreciate it, bro.
Yeah, appreciate the hard work, man.
Very alarming to be, and I'm not saying this, but to be somebody that seems like him also driving and recording himself.
What about him is dangerous, though? That's fair.
What about him is dangerous about him? fair. That's a legit point.
What about him is dangerous about him?
Just some of the ways he seems.
Yes.
Some of the stereotypes.
I'm not saying that, Brendan.
Okay, I'll say it for you.
Okay.
Why?
Does he look like he has astigmatism?
I could see it being alarming to some people.
Yeah.
Like if he was my Uber driver, I'd be alarmed.
Okay.
I would leave him a two star.
You would?
Yes.
Derek, you got any favorite memories from your time on the show?
Yeah, that's a good question.
I liked when Theo thought that we just let some lady have cum on her face.
Oh, yes.
Oh, my God.
The Halloween, yes.
I forget.
He was like, why would you allow that?
I was like, what do you mean? He's like, look at her face. When I didn't know. Yeah, we were like. Come on, yes. Oh, my God. The Halloween, yes. I forget. He was like, why would you allow that? I was like, what do you mean?
He's like, look at her face.
When I didn't know.
Yeah, we know.
He goes, come on, man.
And I'm like, what, dude?
He's like, dude, we can't have this on the show.
I'm like, what's wrong with her?
We look in.
Dog.
Semen.
All over her.
Then he called it.
She goes, come on, man.
She got that thick sweat on her face.
On her face.
That thick sweat.
That thick nut sweat.
What happened to her?
Somebody's semened her. She drowned in that happened to her? Somebody semened her?
She drowned in that, dude.
Somebody semened that lady. Why'd they do it?
Did they say? That might be one of the
top five hearts I've ever laughed at.
I didn't know. I didn't either.
I was like, dog, what's wrong with Theo? What's wrong with her?
She's a nice... And then Theo's like, come on, that's a man.
Oh, so he did this to me with thick
nuts with him. Oh, yeah.
And then we zoomed in.
And he was right
We thought it was seven months on
Do we still have that?
I forgot about that
Fuck that was funny
I don't remember anything
I hope he's out there somewhere
Scary
We do so many shows you remember all of it?
I forgot about that that was hilarious dude
Yeah, you guys are all like she had a question you guys are like trying to answer a question
We were dead serious
Like you'll find a man. I was like this what you gotta do
There's a lot of stuff going on here
She's got that mass scary like your boy said Derek zoom in on that. Hold the fuck. Dude, there's shit
all over. No one's
noticed this? It's semen,
isn't it? Yeah! Hey!
Ding, ding, ding, ding!
She's not a fucking semen roll, is she?
That's not icing, Theo. Bro, this is
a man. Dude, that's not a man.
She's making a porno, and
this is the end of it.
You know what?
Don't cut out the part I said in the beginning because I was trying to be.
Go back to this.
Look at the whole thing going on here.
The blonde hair doesn't match the rest of her hair.
This is a man's face.
And he got busted on.
He must be off cigarettes.
Oh, God.
He's flying spirit airline.
He's off cigarettes.
He works at a doll factory.
This is a young fella, man.
This is a nice young man who enjoys pizza and getting loads on his face.
Well, who knows?
Dude, I'm a detective.
I've seen way too much 448.
Hey, case solved.
You're a detective, dude?
You're the worst detective.
You spent six minutes praising this young lass.
Dude, what are you talking about?
He's sending a couple of nice tits.
He's talking about taking her out for a good time.
The first thing I said was that this young fella...
Zoom in.
You did call it.
You did call it.
Hey, hold on.
How does no one running the cameras
see the fucking semen on this dude's face?
Bro, what is this turned into, man?
I don't want to be a part of anything like this, man.
Yeah, let's not... We'll put this on this time, but I ain't doing this stuff where I'm looking at semen on some fella, man.
It might be sweat, though.
That ain't sweat.
That's thick, thick sweat out of somebody's nuts.
It is, dude.
I'm serious, man.
We can do it this time.
I'm not looking at this kind of stuff.
I didn't come here to look at this.
Then we made sweatshirt
It went through so many checks though it was me then Nick everyone so it's always
He said you're the worst ever
That lady oh, I fucking forgot about the guy that was a man
It's absolutely to forget that if dude dressed like the guy. That was a man, I guess. That was definitely a man. It's so easy to forget that a dude dressed up like a woman is a man.
You remember the first episode when we had Chin's aunt on,
and I was so crunk for his aunt?
She's hot.
Yeah, she's batty.
Wait, last episode, didn't we talk about how Theo might have hooked up with
Chin's aunt because she was in Boise, too?
Boise, yeah.
She was a Korean in Boise.
I just remember it was a Korean lady,
and I remember we tried to get involved
and have some sort of sexual interaction, but...
She wasn't into it?
No, she was into it, Brendan.
Were you not into it?
Huh?
That's other friends of yours.
Her leg.
I'm just saying, bro.
You got the wrong show.
Those are your friends too, brother.
But I met them through you, dude.
Okay?
I just remember her leg.
I will say this about this Korean lady.
I remember her legs didn't...
They wouldn't...
Her legs...
Wouldn't open up?
They were kind of like, you know,
chopsticks are kind of like at the top.
They're kind of just...
Just like that.
She's pigeon-footed.
They wouldn't like...
You had to snap them open.
Well, no.
You didn't have to.
And you wouldn't do that, and you never did it.
But it was just...
There was no way to have sex because her leg...
It wasn't going to work.
Yeah, I was trying to get those sticks apart,
and they wouldn't come apart,
and you're like, oh, this doesn't work.
So now do you want to tell Chin or should I
that you're his uncle?
I'd be happy. I'd be proud. Dude dude it'd be so awesome if i were if you were oh that'd be cool you could like tell him what to do go fishing here it is
right here no this was another one of my uh favorite moments um these these guys oh yeah
why did we do this it was your birthday. We had a cookie cake and we came in to sing a few songs.
He just got back from Hawaii too.
Nice.
Super Jack.
What was that for?
I don't know.
What was that for? You're welcome.
You're a young man.
Do you know?
Yeah, I think we got something for that.
I think it was more hairy than I thought.
Yeah, it is.
This is obviously a Wisconsin idea, but good times.
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You other brothers can't deny.
When a girl walks in with a nitty-bitty waist
and a round thing in your face,
you get sprung.
When I pull up tough,
can you notice that the body's tough?
Deep in the jeans she's wearing,
I'm looking against the ceiling.
Oh, baby, I want to get with you
and take your picture.
My little boy's trying to warn me.
Yeah, those guys are great.
I was feeling myself.
Remember, I kept clowning them, too.
When they left, I was all mean about it.
Oh, yeah.
Because they went one song too long.
Yeah, I got old fast.
Yeah, I think you do two songs when you're them.
Two and out.
We remember we couldn't get them to leave.
When you stay for that third song, it's rough.
Remember when your girl, you got her the quinceañera singers?
What was it? Yeah, for her birthday. Oh, the mariachi singers? Oh, yeah, the mariachi singers. That was pretty cool. Like during the middle of COVID. third song it's rough yeah you remember when your girl you got her the uh quinceanera singers what
was it yeah for her birthday oh yeah that was pretty like during the middle of covid people
are so mean to me online really yeah it's gonna spread you're a super spreader fucking mariachi
band mexicans don't get it man i'm trying to think of what other it's science what else was a good
seg a good clip do you guys have any favorites Until you bring them up
There's so many
There's so fucking many
This show is so fucking funny
Do you remember any Nick
I'm trying to look at the
You have no excuse
I have CT and it's well documented
I swear my words
Do you have it?
Have you been tested for it?
No.
What are you talking about?
Did I lose my keys and stuff?
Yeah, but that's, dude,
you could just,
everybody loses their keys.
Yeah.
Sometimes we forget
to fill up our tank.
Yeah.
Right there.
Yeah, totally.
I lost my keys this morning.
I went, here we go.
Here we go, Bubba.
I don't know, Vernon.
It could just be,
I don't want to say it, but
say it. Ignorance.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't think before you
fought, you were the guy who knew it all.
Oh, do you guys
remember when we set up Chin?
Hot Carl?
Remember Hot Carl and Chin?
She went on the date and drank all that sake,
and we paid for it.
We talked about it every week.
I'm going to forget about it.
I remember that.
Yeah, Chin went on that date with Hot Carl,
and here's Hot Carl now.
You destroyed her life, Chin.
Right?
Chin racked up the bill, drank all that sake.
Congratulations, Bubba.
100 episodes of The King and the Sting.
Man, I'm absolutely loving it.
Shout out to the man with the million dollar mullet, Theo Vaughn.
Shout out to the leader of the Thick Gang and the man with the mean kick gang, Brendan Schaub.
Send my love to the Culture Corner.
Tell Chin I said what's up.
Shout out to my Bubba Nick Davis.
I love y'all, man.
100 episodes.
Cheers to 1,000 more, baby.
Hell yeah.
Jelly Roll.
Jelly Roll.
Hell yeah.
He didn't say Chappelle, but that's okay.
He said Culture Corner.
He said Culture Corner.
Okay.
That's awesome, man.
I love him.
Thanks, Jelly.
Yeah, but let's not let Chin off the hook.
So remember, Chin took that young lady out, spent about a grand of our money.
And then at the end, he was like, yeah, she's fucking hot.
Check out those tits.
And then was like, oh, I'm married.
You remember that?
She was down.
That's how we found out Chin had a girl.
But this also now a true.
He thought he was gay for a second.
Yeah, we thought he was gay.
Oh, yeah.
We thought he was coming out.
I should have paused for longer.
A true.
And I almost ruined his outing because I went, you're gay.
Yeah.
No.
But what if he was?
I know.
I ruined it.
I know.
What if he was?
I panicked.
Yeah, man.
I panicked.
He's all, yeah, dude, you're a dick.
Damn, bro.
He was trying to be gay and you stopped him.
Another great one, and I almost have the video up.
Instagram's making me log in
But the first time we were introduced to noodling
We met that fellow who wasn't
TV camera ready
Oh yeah
That dude that had his shirt off all up in the video
He had that body outie
Yeah, Saint Tricolous this dude
The body outie on him
Saint Tits, yeah, and he was all up in the water
Trying to catch some fish
He'd be under the water
Come up really seductively
Yeah
That brackish Santa
You gotta get in there bro
Yeah those boys don't wanna get caught
Oh
That's gonna shot at this guy
Why'd they do my man like that?
He was at TV prep.
Bro, that guy.
Whoa.
What was going on there?
That dude's hanging out for the wrong reason.
I think his noodling's different than the rest of the people.
It's okay.
The girls come at night.
And that's when that old man leaves.
I'll be back in the morning.
I had a good time.
Timmy gonna be back tomorrow?
Where'd I leave my shirt and pants and lip gloss?
What's going on in this shithole?
Father Time.
There's some milk breads on that guy.
Titties.
Father Time got them Boo Radley tits.
His tits are waterlogged, huh?
Look at his whole skin.
He looks bloated and dead.
And here's our last congratulations video.
Lots of characters that didn't make the show.
Shout out Stefan and everybody else.
But the man himself, Browse.
Your lookalike, Cats in the Wild.
Oh, he was sexy. What up, gangsters? This is Browse. Your lookalike, Cats in the Wild. Oh, he was sexy.
What up, gangsters?
This is Browse.
Congratulations on 100 episodes.
We love you guys so much.
Thanks for being the best podcast out there.
I'm in the studio right now, which is my kitchen,
because I'm broke until that album Money Hits.
But either way, King and the Sting, 100.
Congratulations.
Go get that man's album.
It's on iTunes now.
Cats.
King and the Sting album
And all the revenue
Of that goes to the artist
Lil Brow really
Quarterbacked it
And produced it
So a lot to him
And then splitting it
With all the other
Submitters so
Yeah man
Go support
Amen
Yeah
It's a talented dude
He fucking came up man
Yeah
For him dog
Chick-fil-A works miracles
When they're closed
It's true That's why they close Yeah that's why they close Some miracles can happen man He fucking came up, man. Yeah. For him, dog. Chick-fil-A works miracles when they're closed.
That's true.
That's why they close.
Yeah, that's why they close.
Some miracles can happen, man.
What else did we, what else happened on the show?
I'm trying to remember what else.
Here's actually a new one.
Cat's sister pointed out kind of a cat's in the wild.
So my sister and I were watching a basketball game between Long Beach and LMU.
And she said that this guy looks like you two had a kid.
His name is Pepe.
Oh, yeah, that's a good name for him. And that's clearly Tiger when he's 18, so that's cool.
Damn, that hair is long.
And LMU, that Lupepe jersey, dude.
I know, those shorts.
What are these flags?
That would be New Zealand, Great Britain, and I don't know what the middle one is.
It's Great Britain and New Zealand, though.
Why were your sister scouting for some dudes or what?
We were just watching a game.
Oh, she's talking to one of the homies on the team?
I can neither confirm nor deny.
That's New Zealand.
It is.
But let's just say
she was watching for one person
and she ended up watching Pepe.
And let me guess,
it wasn't the white boy
coming off the bench
who can shoot a three.
The token white dude
who's good at threes.
Probably not.
That's a good guess.
Yeah.
That's Australia?
Yeah, and then New Zealand
was so close, huh?
Wow.
I guess it's just no...
Wow.
You been in New Zealand?
No, you haven't.
Yeah, I did stand up there.
It's fantastic.
Is it like the exact same thing as Australia?
No, way better.
Really?
Listen, I love Australia, but it's like Australia, you feel like you're in a nicer America.
Everybody's really cool.
All the women are really hot.
But then in New Zealand, that's where they shoot fucking Lord of the Rings, Jurassic Park.
It felt like I was in Jurassic Park.
Wow.
Yeah.
And what did they have?
They have different what?
All kind of different vegetables and everything?
Yep.
Wow.
And a different currency too.
And I got fucking laughed out of a coffee shop because I tried paying with my Australian money and they really went in on me.
I didn't know that.
Was it like a gang war when you get over the border?
Oh, man.
They started calling me a Yankee.
What does that mean? Sorry, buddy. I start calling me a Yankee. What does that mean?
I think it's like their version
of Cracker. Or Daddy Yankee is the
worst one.
Poppy Yankee.
I can't remember any of our old clips, man.
I just remember our first episode
of Chin's Aunt.
Thick Sweat.
Yeah, what else did we talk
Oh when you guys brought my dad on
Oh yeah we had a family reunion
Yeah when Theo asked if he did the crime
That's right
Your dad fled the fifth
He said look
What did he say
He said he goes put it this way
I studied law and got myself out
That's an OG answer He definitely did it He goes, put it this way. I studied law and got myself out.
That's an OG answer.
He definitely did it.
He either did it or he got framed for it.
I think he got framed.
I think he got framed, man. His son thinks framed.
His son thinks framed.
Hell yeah.
Far the only person whose family has not been represented is Chappelle's.
We tried to reach out to your dad to get a video, but we just couldn't get one.
I'm sorry
But we got a surprise what happens sometimes Chappelle we love you we got a special in studio guest
Yeah.
And did you do it, whatever you went to prison for? Legit question.
Well, I mean, that's a hell of a question.
I don't know if I'm being interrogated or what.
I support my dad.
Hey, man, dude, we should have made some free Your Dad's Name t-shirts.
Oh, my God, that would have been great.
Free Kevin.
Free Kevin, yeah. His name's Big Kev?
His first name's Kev?
His nickname?
Oh, Bosselini Black. Bosselini. Oh boss oh wow what's his real name though Kevin Oh big Kev yep free boss Eleni black that would
have been dope if we'd have made this sure no a lot of people may be confused
at what we're talking about cuz that was the family reunion patreon episode yeah Patreon episode. Oh, the Patreon. Yeah, so that's still available there. Go check that out.
Oh!
We also got Caps After Dark on there, too, a lot.
Yep.
So, Darren, what have you been doing during the pandemic, man?
I feel like we haven't even asked you anything.
I've been traveling, man.
I just came from Nashville yesterday.
That's where I was at.
Oh, yeah.
Why are you just going all over the country?
Just doing stuff.
I got to keep doing something.
You're just hustling.
Hustling, yeah.
It's like I got to do something.
Like I was doing my boy in the NFL, Darren Bates, his podcast.
He just started a podcast.
He was like, you want to come do it?
I was like, bro, I got you.
Went and saw the game.
And then it was me and another guy named Tufan Skipper and Wyatt Ray.
Tufan Skipper?
Yeah.
What's he do?
Linebacker.
Oh, dope.
No, DN.
They're all huge.
Yeah, they're all big dudes.
Huge dudes.
But that was fun.
Oh, my God. What did he say to me? He said said uh because darren was like yo my boy used to play quarterback he was like you were a quarterback bro i was like yeah man this nigga looked like a
roly-poly i was like yeah i'm fucking 30 dog yeah in high school bro i was 16 i was good yeah i'm
sorry i didn't keep it up well you should you should have said that to Baker Mayfield.
He lit them boys up.
Bro, fucked them up.
But that was a crazy game to be at, man.
That was cool.
Yeah, what was that game like?
It was in Nashville?
In Nashville.
I mean, they're one of the only people with fans, so you had to sit up top.
But, yeah, they got waxed, man.
Baker Mayfield, you're good.
Yeah, he's good.
He's going to get that extension.
So did he actually look good?
I haven't seen him play in a while.
He's balling this year.
Balling.
They're 9-3.
They're balling.
They're going to make the playoffs. And OBJ's out, right? OB 9-3. They're balling. They're going to make the playoffs.
And OBJ's out, right?
OBJ's out.
Juice was killing them.
They're better without him, unfortunately.
Peoples Jones, the guy with the law firm-looking name.
I'm surprised your boy doesn't go on bussing with the boys because they're all tight.
They're definitely setting it up.
I don't know.
I saw a cop.
I talked to him on the phone.
Oh, you saw him?
Oh, dope.
God, that guy looks like a serial killer, man.
Yeah.
He looks like a serial killer? Oh, dude. He was laying in bed, and he was just like this. No, you saw him? Oh, dope. God, dude, that guy looks like a serial killer, man. Yeah. He looks like a serial killer?
Oh, dude.
He was laying in bed, and he was just like this.
No, he's a good-looking dude.
In that post-game After Face, though.
Oh, word.
He just played.
Yeah, it's called CT.
Oh.
Yeah.
I recognize that from a mile away.
A million-mile stare, baby.
A million-mile stare, dog.
What else happened in here?
Kat, we almost set you up with.
Did we ever set you up with anybody in here, Kat?
No, I think it was a safety issue when we looked into it, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
Was there ever any moments where you had any, almost had a fling with anyone in here?
Had a fling with anyone in here?
No.
No.
What does that mean, in here, no?
In the other show, yes. My that's the guy from that's right that's right that's right yeah
well this is depressing i'm just doing the math i'm just like i know i'm just trying to figure
out i'm just you know i'm just no just ask yeah that's i was just like i was trying to think if
you ever had a crush on anybody in here
or if you ever, but then I forgot that your boyfriend has been on text.
We talked about him last week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just forgot.
Oh.
Yeah, that's right.
Have you ever been attracted to anybody in here, Vernon?
I mean.
Be honest.
I didn't realize you had a tailpiece on you for the longest.
Oh, my God.
The day we found out that you had a fat ass.
That was a good day.
I think Derek's the one that knew because you kept calling me flat ass.
Yeah.
And then Derek was like.
I'll talk about you one day, bro.
I'll say, bro, you look like Meg Ryan caked up.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
And then you guys went on that.
You got the mail.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I got a couple of packages.
That's right.
The day I discovered you got a tail packages delivered. Yeah, that's right. The day I discovered
he got a tailpiece
is pretty fun.
Dragging that wagon, baby,
to Jay and the Trey, boo-boo.
Yeah, dog.
This is dope.
This is like one of them
episodes on a sitcom.
You remember where they,
like on any Fresh Prince
or the Cosby show,
where they'd be like,
look, hey,
remember this episode, y'all?
And it's like,
these niggas didn't want,
look at them,
not wanting to do
an episode of that.
Definitely a budget saver
so we can go. We spent all of our money on the cameras.
We'll go on location next episode because we saved some here.
So where are you off to next, D?
See, just got back from Nashville and then back to Baltimore when I leave here.
And then Phoenix.
Because Phoenix you can do stand-up.
Yep.
Phoenix is fucking lit.
Dude.
Stand-up live is the shit.
Yeah.
Now your partner in crime
Hassan
Is he full ISIS
Bring him up on his Instagram
Yeah
Yo look at him now
Isn't he doing
I report him several times
Until there's a vaccine
I report him several times
He looks like a mechanic
For IEDs
For IEDs
He looks like a mechanic
For Boeing
That's gonna fly
Into a fucking building
You can bring a drone They fly their drones into him and they fix it.
How do you spell his last name?
A-H-M-A-D-I-S-I-S.
You assholes.
He looks crazy, Doug.
He's not shaving for COVID.
I never was cutting my hair.
I was always going for it.
He's not shaving for COVID? Yeah never was cutting my hair. I was always going for it. He's not shaving for COVID?
Yeah.
Just as like a protester?
He looks insane.
No, he's doing like a TikTok bit, right?
Where he won't shave until the vaccine is out.
Yeah.
And then he's gotten really woke.
Real woke.
Yeah.
That's what happens when you stay in the Bay Area.
Yep.
Oh, is he in the Bay Area?
Yeah, he's back home now.
Oh, it'll do it.
I haven't seen him, man.
It's nice to deal. all the first comics I've
seen besides Adam Ray bro yeah nobody comes they see when are you seeing other
comics really that's a good point actually I did a show a couple weeks ago
in a bar out here restaurant in LA and it was the first time I'd seen it was
like Michael and no Chi and Marques a couple guys Momento first time I've seen
anybody yeah how was that it was weird I just forgot that I had I was like oh yeah
I haven't seen these guys
In six months
Yeah I forgot
Like hanging around
With just other motherfuckers
I've been doing the road
Like a motherfucker
So I'm with my crew
Then you're doing good Brendan
Yeah sorry
It's you and Tim Dillon
And like
Yeah sorry
No then a bunch of other comics
Are just scared to say
They're doing the road
Yeah but they're doing the road
They're not promoting it
All it is
Is you guys just keep going
Back and forth From Salt Lake City to Boise That. All it is is you guys just keep going back and forth
from Salt Lake City to Boise, though.
That's all it is.
We're going to do Phoenix and Salt Lake and then Boise
when we just keep doing the same spot.
And sprinkling Texas.
And sprinkling Texas.
And then I'll go down to Nashville.
But yeah, man, it was just awesome
being around fucking comics again, dog.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Now, are you going to stay out of LA?
No, I'm waiting to come back.
I'm waiting for the store, baby.
That's like the home.
It's like when the store opens up,
it's like, all right,
if the store opens up,
everything else will open up.
But shit, man.
It should be a hot second
before the store opens up.
That's why Phoenix looks like a move.
That's crazy.
Still might be six months.
Has anybody quit comedy that you know of
while you've been...
Good question. I mean... It's hard to say might be six months nuts does anybody get quit comedy that you know of while you've been uh good
question i mean which i don't it's hard to say because we're not back in it yet and do they say
they quit or they're just kind of like oh i moved to denver yeah i'm just all right well you're out
you're not even in the race yeah because if you're not i moved to idaho it's like all right well
where you getting up dog you quit yeah so well you ain't getting up nowhere if you ain't in the
cities that open you ain't getting up bro you open, you ain't getting up, bro.
You a lion.
You ain't getting up.
Yeah, that's true.
You ain't getting up.
But Arizona's popping, though.
Phoenix is popping.
So where are you laying low until it opens up?
Baltimore, because you can get up there.
What's that, Magoos out there?
Magoobies.
They got Magoobies.
And then just like little bar shows.
But they're still open.
They're letting people at least come inside right i'm saying
so that's the main thing is like just anybody coming i gotta be honest i'm surprised you're
like your girl pregnant dude is she still locked up somewhere yeah she's fucking screaming right
now no i'm trying to get her pregnant bro i want to get her pregnant but we it's like
you can't even i mean i don't even like can you go to the hospital like they won't even let people
have funerals right now, bro.
A lot of sperms is stressed out, too.
Yeah, my sperm's fucking worried.
They're running the other direction.
The sperm got the mask on.
Oh, they start salmoning on you, yeah.
Swimming back stream.
Yeah.
Well.
But it was nice, bro.
Like, we were hanging with, I ain't gonna say his name, but we were doing a weekend
with Adam Ray and Phoenix, and just in the green room, and you just, like, see a young comic, like, fuck up. Yeah. And he was like, but while I was doing a weekend with Adam Ray in Phoenix and just in the green room and you just like see a young comic like fuck up.
Yeah.
And he was like, oh, I'm back.
I'm back.
Some guy from the city.
And he looks at Adam Ray and he's like, he said, he's a man.
I was trying to get the Tom's a girl weekend, but they gave me you.
Adam goes, oh shit, dude.
Is your sentence over?
Is that it?
That was it.
That's all you had to say?
Look at Hasan.
Look at him. Sorry. That was nine minutes later. Instagram was being, but that is wild. Yeah, dude. Is your sentence over? Is that it? That was it? That's all you had to say? Look at Hasan. Look at him.
Sorry that was nine minutes later.
Instagram was being, but that is wild.
Yeah, bro.
The hair is even crazier.
That boy's going crazy.
Yeah, he's going absolutely.
But look at that million dollar house.
I wish the house.
They call him Oman Benjamin.
He's got that LeBron hairline.
Dude, I'm telling you.
He wishes he had LeBron's hair. He has that Larry DavidBron hairline Dude I'm telling you He wishes he had LeBron's hairline
Bro
Get
This dude
He has that Larry David Isis
Headline
He's about to be that
That Rajneesh dude
He's about to be
Teaching people how to
Get to another dimension
Is that
Yeah that's his mom
That's his mom
I mean yeah that's
His mom fine
Bro
Yeah
Let me see your
Let me see your mom again His mom yeah Yeah. She's fine. And Rich. Yo, so loaded. His dad. They're loaded. That's why Derek. That's why his son's laying in the cut. He can lay in the cut. Yeah, he can. He can chill. His dad's a rocket scientist. It makes the biggest ribs you've ever seen in this world. Really? His dad literally works for NASA. When I saw him first thing, I said, hey, dog, what do you think of people that think the earth is flat?
He got mad.
He started laughing, remember?
Oh, yeah.
He started laughing at me.
I went, all right, cool.
Take it easy now.
He's like, that's just so stupid, Brendan.
Yeah.
That's just, what?
Yep.
Dang.
His dad has an accent?
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Oh, thick accent.
So does his mom.
Yeah.
Super thick.
Yeah, his son's still single as fuck.
Bro.
Single as hell. When I look. Bro, single as hell.
When I look at him, I feel single.
That makes me want to break up with my girl when I look at him.
Yeah, I am.
You're single?
Yeah, I'm single, man.
Yeah, you've been single.
It's tough to meet people in COVID, man.
Well, not in Nashville, though.
You guys are fucking living like a thing.
Yeah, in Nashville you can live.
It's definitely a different vibe,
but I don't know if anybody's really trying to make moves during COVID,
like real forward progress moves.
No, it's Netflix and chill.
That's about it.
But once things open, like the store's popping,
like LA Midnight should be popping.
Maybe.
You don't know.
Well, let's say it is.
Are you going to wish you were back here?
I can just come back.
Good point.
Yeah, you can always come back.
It's not like you got banished.
My apartment is here.
It's open.
I mean, I have the keys to it, and I can just come back to it.
You can stay with me, too.
I got my place.
You can stay with me, though.
You're right.
I can.
Thank you.
I appreciate that, man.
I might stay over there.
And Tiger might wrestle you all day.
Yeah, that's a good point, dude.
You did put him to work when he was at the career.
That fine little one.
Who's that little shorty?
Brennan's Instagram.
Oh, Boston.
That's the one. Yeah, Boston Thick. That little thot. That little thick boy. Who's that little shorty? Bring up Brennan's Instagram. Oh, Boston. That's the one.
Yeah, Boston Thick.
That little thot.
That little thick boy.
Damn.
Shorty working too, bro.
Bring up that little.
Oh, yeah.
No, no.
One more.
There you go.
There we go.
Shorty working.
And the first comment is Theo.
I'm sorry.
Look at the back.
I'm sorry.
Look at the back.
I got it.
Damn.
Look at them kicks.
That's shorty. Fine. Oh, I found one it back. I got it. Damn. Look at them kicks. That's shoddy.
Fine.
I found one of the, definitely one of the best moments from the old studio.
This sad man who was smoking weed by himself.
Oh, yeah.
Remember when we did relationship advice?
That was my favorite segment.
Can we help somebody, people?
Yeah, yeah.
We definitely should.
Smoking some weed.
I got caught before doing that, and she wasn't happy about it,
but I thought it'd help, so I just started again,
and I haven't told her yet.
So, the question is, should I tell her?
Who gets mad at someone smoking weed?
How old is Brendan?
This motherfucker feels different in every clip.
Why do I get a blowout?
Why do I get that Jersey Shore blowout?
Brendan looks nine years old.
Brendan changes up his look every three months.
What filter is that, Doug?
That's that fine filter.
Is it Brendan or Stefan?
I don't know.
I get that Philly fade, Doug, with that blowout off the top.
You look like Vinny from Jersey Shore finally put it all together.
Oh, my God, bro.
This guy thought you were cool, too.
Dude, I'll tell you about this.
If you're getting high and you got a wife, a little bit of weed will make your wife feel like a brand new woman.
You know, take the sex to a different place, dude.
Yeah, she's complaining about weed to get her high and then eat her ass like groceries.
You just gave the guy nine different pieces of advice, man.
I'm hoping something sticks.
I throw a lot of things.
And I hope he connects to one.
So I've been...
Yeah, that guy was great.
We'll try to get an update from that, man.
That guy messaged me a lot
after that happened.
It didn't go well. If you want the update, I'll give it to you.
We ruined his life.
And that's why we don't do relationships anymore.
It went really bad.
Wow.
I think he took some of Brendan's advice and tried to eat her ass.
Oh, you're disgusting.
That was bad advice, man.
I still love you guys, but my wife left me, but that bitch didn't get it.
I'm like, oh, shit, dude.
It's a podcast.
Brendan.
That's trying to make people laugh.
I was just joking, man.
That's trying to make people laugh.
You don't really eat your girl's ass bro
Oh my god
That was bad advice bro
Who knows maybe he's better off
If you can find his Instagram for me
That's a good attitude
I love those old clips
Yeah we're scrolling through the Instagram
Now that we're in
That's funny
Relationship advice I always thought we were helping people.
We were.
We should get more of them.
We don't have it anymore, do we?
Send them in.
I mean, it's a lot of guys sending in the same question.
How do I meet girls over COVID?
I've read that question 50 fucking times.
Yeah, man.
We ain't here to do that.
50 times, that's it?
I thought he was going to do it 2,000 times.
I don't know if you guys should do that.
I literally just said you ruined a guy's life.
Yeah, that's a good point.
We've got to do more.
We have to fix it now.
We have to fix it.
How much lacquer is on here, you think?
Oh, yeah, this ain't going to catch fire.
I'm going to hide from the fumes.
I dig it.
Yeah, I dig it.
Yeah, I thought I was helping people, but what?
But you tried.
Well, maybe we should set him up.
You know, now he's a single dude.
Yeah.
Not the easiest sell, but, you know.
That was a nice guy, too.
I thought that man was a nice guy.
A decent man.
Decent man, yeah.
Remember when we did the one chip challenge and everyone died?
Oh, my God.
The one chip challenge. Remember that? Oh, my God. The one chip challenge.
Remember that?
It was like three weeks ago.
But this one was good.
The man is different.
Oh, some DS Ellies.
But the man that I'm with right now.
Does he have you hostage?
Why are you whispering?
He doesn't make any noise in the bedroom.
She got that nose ring.
Let me say this.
Won't you put a little sign on your nose to speak up? What kind't make any noise in the bedroom. She gots that nose ring. Let me say this.
Won't you put a little sign on your nose to speak up?
What kind of dude is he outside the sheets?
Like you want a freak in the bedroom and a normal dude on the street.
Is he a Chatty Cathy?
Then you get into that bedroom and you expect him to be-
He's turned into a Def Jeff.
Yeah, Def Jeff.
And that's your fault.
Are you looking for an orator?
Are you looking for somebody who's fucking?
Are you looking for Frederick Douglass?
Are you looking for fucking Fred Big Douglass?
Fred Durst.
You looking for Fred Durst? You want cock? Are you looking for an orator? Are you looking for somebody who's fucking? Are you looking for Frederick Douglass? Are you looking for fucking Fred Dick Douglass?
You looking for Fred Durst?
You want cock or you want chatter?
Sometimes you can't have it all.
The guy's just trying to get his nut off and please his girl.
She's looking for a play-by-play of everything that he's doing.
You think I'm Joe Buck or Joe Fuck?
Dude just wants to chill and bust nuts, girl.
Yeah, listen to a book on tape. Get you some of them AirPods.
Listen to the King and Sting while you get pounded.
I got to say the Instagram cutdowns stepped up when I took over.
Yeah, they did.
That was good.
That was funny, though.
God, we were helping people out, though, weren't we?
Doing the Lord's work.
I miss it, man.
Miss that show.
You turn around, buddy. Catch you back on. man miss that show I'd love to do more relationship advice and flaunt my aunts we just like want videos and and of your of your aunts not just pictures cuz it
kind of gets to be the same thing a little bit damn that one was from the
first episode yeah see that See that? That's in Theo's old studio in Playa Vista.
That's the one where you guys flaunted Nick's grandma, right?
And before we go, we're going to launch a new segment, Flaunt My Aunt.
This is my Aunt Debbie.
She's on the left.
Dude, who's Mr. Steal Your Man on the right, though?
I'm distracted by your grandma with her booty perked out.
She's in the Texas tux bro with the gold chain she looks like
carrie is flossy bro like she hung out around the alamo you know what i'm saying
grandma like she has a rolex underneath that texan tuxedo she looked like she hung around
staple centers in this in the 60s you know what i'm saying
oh your grandma's swag he, leave my grandma alone.
You got me at the hungry fucking blurry eye.
Shout out to your motherfucking swaggy pee grandma, bro.
Hey, can you leave her alone?
Dying.
Still kicking.
Love you, grandma.
Oh shit, Nick, that was your grandma?
Yup, that was Nick's grandma.
Can you leave her alone
She's 90
Look at that
Garbage cart too
That's cool
What was I saying
What do you think
Of Lil Nas X going gay
Oh yeah
Oh
I thought it was pretty cool man
And also just right on time
You know what I'm saying
He's just
Perfect timing
Even if you're not gay
I thought about coming out
Yeah
Just to boost tickets
Really You want more of a gay fan base i don't know dude
yeah but you think little naz you think it was a good move i mean i'm sure it's a good i haven't
talked to any black people about this i'm very making love to men as well but it's also a good
move for his career good move for his personal life too you know also most people probably knew
that he was gay or preferred man. The outfits gave off that vibe.
I wouldn't say outfit.
He has that kind of like, sometimes to me, like some gay men,
they have that, like they've been kind of just looking for sugar a little bit.
You know what I'm saying?
Like their mouth kind of has that little bit of sugar.
The sweetness.
Yeah, it's got that sugar in it.
That sweet and low.
Yeah, like they just fucking polished off a lemon about eight minutes ago.
The last rib and just suck that bad boy dry.
They got horses in the back.
Yeah, horses in the back.
He's in the front.
Who's birthday?
Who's birthday?
That's good shit, guys.
Golly, man.
Man, we've been doing the damn thing.
Damn.
Fun show, man
It's a fun fucking show
100 episodes
100 weeks
Plus Patreon, yeah, a lot of work
A lot of work for Nick and Chin
And the editors
Yeah, shout out
Man Behind the Seas, Joe Rubalcaba
He's been editing these episodes since
We moved to this studio
And he's a pro What's his last name? Rubalcaba. He's been editing these episodes since we moved to this studio, and he's a pro.
He's a pro.
What's his last name?
Rubalcaba, Brendan.
Shuckacaba?
They call him the Chupacabra of editing.
Yeah.
I knew it.
And he's really, I mean, you can't even see him, but he's.
And he's rocking a ponytail during COVID times, too.
Amen.
What a power move.
We should get a picture of him so that people can see him in the future.
For sure.
For sure.
Well, next time I'm in here, I'm going to have a man bun and some highlights.
So get your mind right.
Changing my hairstyle.
And Derek, what are you going for with your hairstyle?
Are you going to braid it up?
Maybe braid it up.
I don't know, man.
I want to do something crazy.
Get some extensions.
Maybe I'll get a fucking jerry curl.
Or a weave.
Ooh, what about an S curl?
That'd be cool.
S curl?
Yeah.
A fucking ice cube?
A jerry curl. I've long ice cube a jerry curl i i've
long said that the jerry curl needs to make a comeback yes there's one guy on instagram that
has it but that outside of that i haven't seen that wet look the cb40 look yes mc gusto mc gusto
yeah do it dog that dw40 look yeah you actually said that to me like six six years ago. Did I really?
Yeah, you were like,
I had a friend like that
and you were like,
hey man,
bring the jerry curl back.
Nobody's doing it anymore.
Just like that.
You're the only person with it.
I'm still waiting.
Still waiting.
Isn't that crazy?
I know.
We're still waiting
for somebody to have it.
I think I'll bring it back, bro.
Why not?
Why not?
What else am I doing
with this fucking thing?
Yeah.
There's also nothing else to do.
Open up, man.
We hurting out here.
Yeah, I don't know.
What is it like?
Is there a different vibe in the black community at all about the COVID virus?
No.
I will say this.
I will say this because I do know a lot of black people who are like,
I ain't going back to work, bro.
Unemployed, they got the bills paid.
I know some people like that, too too and I'm not mad at them
I know a lot of white people
like that
exactly
you know what I'm saying
so I get it
but bro
I think mostly everybody's like
bro let me
let me make some money man
yup
let me make some money
yup
I ain't talking about
like a million
like a million
bro I'm talking about
let me make a paycheck
come on dog
let me get out
and do something
bruh
that's a paycheck man
it's just crazy out there
it's tough on the streets
but not in here baby 100 D's not in here baby we making motherfucking money Right, that's a paycheck man. Just crazy. I'm just tough on the streets
But not in here, baby
We getting it done man, thank you guys so much man. Keep touching me brother be to fucking touch me thousand more episodes dog
Yep, thank you guys put together the new studio Derek. Thank you so much for coming in, bro Spoil the beans bro for asking, man. I miss you, dude. I fucking love you, man. For real, man. I miss you, Chappelle.
Spoil the beans, bro.
Listen to Spoil the Beans if you want to fucking find your boy.
That's where I'm at, man.
Listen to Spoil the Beans.
You can catch Derek on there.
And with Asante or no, sometimes?
I mean, since COVID happened, no, now it's just guests, man.
Asante on the no-fly list, so he's probably not on the podcast.
Oh, yeah.
Got Rick Glassman coming up.
A lot of people, fun people.
So Spoil the Beans.
Come check it out.
It's a good time.
Check it out.
Nick Davis, thank you so much.
Nick, studio looks great, brother.
Thank you. Thank you, Chin. Thank you, Chappelle. Thank you, Kat, the beans. Come check it out. It's a good time. Check it out. Nick Davis, thank you so much. Nick, studio looks great, brother. Thank you.
Chin, thank you.
Chappelle, thank you.
Kat, the editors.
Thank you guys, the listeners, man.
Thank you too, bro.
Thank y'all, bro.
Y'all did this.
This is y'all, bro.
Thank you.
Start with a dream.
Did it?
No, it started.
We started at the Nordstrom rack.
That's what happened.
It actually started with us making fun of each other.
Yep.
It started with Brian missing, fighting the kid, I need a co-host,
and you would come on, and you were really funny.
We would rip each other up.
We'd light each other up, and then we decided to do a podcast.
And in the belly room, I remember that one day where y'all lit each other up on stage.
Yep.
I remember that day was crazy.
Oh, yeah, that was fun.
That was fun.
That got Brendan and I off on the wrong foot, to be honest,
because he thought I edited it in favor of Theo.
He didn't get me lighting Theo up.
He missed my first two jokes.
Yeah.
He got Theo lighting me up.
I was like, what the fuck?
We've all missed those, Brendan.
I was like, what the fuck, dude?
We miss those every episode somehow.
I hated Nick when we first started.
I hated Nick when we first started. I hated Nick when we first started.
Now I love Nick.
Thanks, brother.
Nick's one of the best producers in the game.
I talk to Nick all the time now.
Oh, with this?
Because you talk to him.
It doesn't mean anything, Brendan.
No, me and Nick are boys.
Okay.
Okay, that's fine.
You got Nick's picks on Below the Belt.
Which I got to keep turning in.
I quit betting, actually.
I lost $3,000 this year.
I didn't have a great weekend last weekend either, so I feel you, man.
Thankfully, I wasn't in that.
I'm out.
I'm done.
I cashed out.
I'm in Palm Beach in the year, closing this bullshit year off.
Palm Beach, Florida.
I'll be at the Palm Beach Improv December 29th through January 2nd.
Holla.
You can see me doing a live event with Chelsea Lynn, who plays Tammy in all of our videos.
And that's going to be, I believe, December 14th or 16th.
That's going to be one night only.
You watch it live.
It's going to be a live streamed event.
That's going to be fun, man.
Yeah, $10 ticket.
It's going to be a nice ticket.
Hell yeah.
I know.
It's going to be a good time.
Get them, boys.
Listen, fans, the show's not happening without you guys.
Your submissions, all the characters, all that stuff.
It's because of you guys. There's a thousand more. We love you guys. Thanks for watching. Thank you you guys. Your submissions, all the characters, all that stuff. It's because of you guys.
There's a thousand more. We love you guys. Thanks for watching.
Thank you, God.
And my concerts flow is contagious Brows are outrageous, thicker than girls that are
Instagram famous, damn, hungry like I'm
Fresh off keto, seeing red like Andrew
Santino, every song I hit like the
Great Bambino, winning 8th to Queso and the
Quesoritos, but everything's
Gonna be fine, hate on me
I do not mind, Dio looking like
The type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets
At all times, they sliding into
My DMs, a couple of you tried
But couldn't beat him em Quit playing like Nintendo DS
You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz
Meaning y'all edible
Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible
Brandon's son hit me up
He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up?
King and the sting
King and the sting
King and the sting
Bee sting, rat king
King and the sting King and the sting Got the bees in the sting, bee sting rat king King in the sting, king in the sting
Got the bees in the trap, got the cheese on a string
King in the sting, king in the sting
King in the sting, bee sting rat king
King in the sting, king in the sting
Got the bees in a trap
Got the cheese on a string