The Golden Hour - Episode 101: Schulz Saves Christmas

Episode Date: December 25, 2020

Andrew Schulz joins this year's King and the Sting Christmas Special and the guys talk Andrew's new Netflix Special (Schulz Saves America), Hollywood Validation, Brendan and Theo'...s bet on Conor McGregor vs Dustin Poirier 2, Borat Being Overrated and more. Also, the guys watch and review the Culture Corner Audition Submissions and play the annual KATS White Elephant Gift Exchange with Andrew Schulz and the whole gang!Kats Merch - https://KATSmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Like, do you know what we do for a living? Yeah, this is why we're here. We talk about these things. Yeah, this is the podcast. Dude, y'all ordered the fucking cheap cat, William? Woo! That shit fire, though. Damn.
Starting point is 00:00:11 We're the little tink tink. You're out here killing it. I got a stray cat for you. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together It is Don't touch me bro I'm not touching you dude Y'all was on the slopes man
Starting point is 00:00:33 Y'all don't know me like that You were sloping? Well tell us about you Yeah man Tell us about you You guys should do more skiing They're right here You can't say that
Starting point is 00:00:39 Is that what you call I didn't know that one Slopes is respected Damn How bad bro Think about that bro Jesus You got an after Is that what you call it? I didn't know that one. Dude. Slope Disrespect. Not bad, bro. Think about that, bro. Jesus. You go to an afternoons and start throwing these fucking slang terms out.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Hold on. First of all, I don't even know who to apologize to. He don't know who he offended. I don't either. I don't either. I've never heard that. He's like, wait, wait. Who's mad?
Starting point is 00:01:05 It's over here for sure. But when you said I was on a slopey, I don't know what that means. The slopes, they said. Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. Sorry. Come on, they could see you, bro. Who is it? Is it Nick?
Starting point is 00:01:19 Because he's usually a Chappelle, but I don't think it is. Dude, you're just throwing those things out there. This is disrespectful, bro. Is it Slope East? No, that's not it. That's not? It's just, you know, I don't say that word out of respect, you know what I mean? Because they're in the fucking room.
Starting point is 00:01:35 I didn't. It was just some boys hanging out. I don't see it. It's a little different. Bro, I don't see them like that, bro. And we call them, honestly, gradients on the street. Oh, gradients. What's that?
Starting point is 00:01:47 That's just a different kind of slang, baby, you know? These downhills, they call them. No, you're sophisticated, bro. These downhills. Not slopes. Gradients. Bro. I never heard of these downhills.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Bro, there's a point where you're so racist that you win the green jacket. You got that master's jacket. Yeah, baby. The headmaster jacket? You got that master's jacket. The headmaster jacket. You got the master. The champ is here. Yeah, I know. Fucking RuPaul who wants to fight this. What's that guy's name?
Starting point is 00:02:17 Jake Paul? RuPaul? Jake Paul versus RuPaul. Let's go. Oh my God, who wants to see that? And RuPaul. Let's go, let's go. Oh, my God. Who wants to see that? And RuPaul's a biggin'. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:29 Yeah, that motherfucker's huge. RuPaul, and that's the trick. RuPaul, people will think it's a woman. There's no alcohol in it, right? That's a man, baby. Okay, thank you. I'm good on that, I think. On that eggnog?
Starting point is 00:02:38 I'll cheers it. It's thick, you know what I mean? I'll cheers it. It's thick. I want mine a little rum, a little rumpled stilt skin in this egg. Don't we getting drunk? Chin usually has some booze in his backpack, right? You drank last night. Did you? No, look like it no No, you look like your specials trending number one on Netflix
Starting point is 00:03:10 You still took that uber x here though I took an uber x I came from Santa Barbara It's like $200 in an uber x Yeah that's true You could have done comfort You know what Are you off Netflix Jump in my fucking Honda I'm going gonna stay cheap though like that a little bit
Starting point is 00:03:29 yeah and you're not jewish are we sure i know we're not sure no i'm not sure now you know he's getting into the business when people start saying they might be a little bit jewish yeah you know he's in Hollywood. Dude, my favorite meme that's out there, man, and one that really just is part of your journey, man, is you say it's like
Starting point is 00:03:51 Netflix then, Netflix now. Yeah. When I said they were done? Yeah. When I said they were going out of business? Yeah, you went hard to paint. Bro, I thought they were.
Starting point is 00:04:00 We've all done it. I didn't think that. I mean, I thought when they were still sending us CDs, bro, that's when it was bad for me. I't know how business works now i didn't know that like you don't have to make money what do you mean like businesses don't have to make money like uber i don't think has made any money so i guess the model is you just keep spending money until you're the only one and then you can make all the money space exactly netflix trying to do
Starting point is 00:04:22 well i guess what they that's what they've been doing so i'm like and initially i'm like okay they're not making any money and they're gonna lose all the shows people watch them like nah it's not gonna work and then it worked and they're business guys like how about you shut your mouth yeah yeah yeah yeah as a matter of fact we were on a call and when we were working on the deal and i was like they're like hey we want to introduce you that this person and they were like you know they just make sure uh you know nobody's saying anything you know any disparaging comments about the company and what does that mean disparaging comments like what does it mean yeah i don't know like it's done or something like netflix is done or whatever oh my bad my bad my bad uh so uh yeah and i was just basically like
Starting point is 00:05:01 i was like yeah it is what did you did you feel weird because you're and I was just basically like, I was like, yeah, it is what it is. Did you feel weird? Because you were kind of. I was just guessing. No, what I said is I acted like it was my plan the whole time. I was like, yeah, you've got to stir up water to catch fish. Okay. You caught a big fish. I just heard Charlotte say that on a podcast once. I was like, oh, that's good.
Starting point is 00:05:17 He probably got it. Did you see it, baby? When Netflix offered it, were you kind of like, I can't do that? No, because my whole thing is I just want the most people to see it as possible. You know what I mean? Like when we were doing it for Instagram and YouTube, like we were getting like over 3 million views a week, right? For like a weekly comedy clip. I don't know anything that does that for a comedy clip.
Starting point is 00:05:36 No. You know, like, hey, I want this to be funny every week. Like SNL is not putting a sketch out every week. Does this 3 million views funny? So I was like okay boom Everybody on YouTube And Instagram Knows what this is
Starting point is 00:05:48 But there's a whole lot of people That maybe aren't like us That like validate things Through Networks So like 100% Oh yeah that's Hollywood you mean
Starting point is 00:05:56 That's Hollywood I didn't realize that Cause like to me I'm like I just care if the people see it I don't care how they see it right Yeah So but And I realized it
Starting point is 00:06:04 Cause once I announced the Netflix shit I had family members hit me up and they said congratulations on your engagement and netflix damn that means they didn't congratulate me on my engagement yeah and then when netflix happened they were like oh this is worth texting yeah they almost don't take you serious like this is a big deal this is a life-changing movie. Damn, man. I was making it? Yeah. So, yeah. Dang, man. So it is what it is, man. But look, that's the climb. I think it's like, it's kind of like Hollywood. It's funny because once you do enough on your own, then Hollywood comes around.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Yeah. Like, then you're in the club. As they should. As they should, right. That's their business. That's when you learn, oh, Hollywood isn't like, sometimes it feels, and to me it's felt like this, sometimes it's this thing that they don't want you, it keeps you out. But I think they just, they have their their favorites but if you're not one they'll
Starting point is 00:06:49 still give you a shot once you have enough of your own climb exactly what's weird is by the time they give you a shot you really don't need it right so it's like i guess i'll do it but you'd be fine either way i'm fine either way this is so more people see it it's fun don't worry it's fun and of course these things are like exciting because people get so excited financially it's fun, though. It's fun. Don't worry, it's fun. And, of course, these things are, like, exciting because people get so excited. Financially, it's cool. But, like, financially, I'm good. I'm not trying to, like, brag or whatever. But, like, I've been good.
Starting point is 00:07:11 You've been good, bro. You know Tim Dillon, but you're doing good. I know Timmy. You know what I mean? I'm not eating at fancy restaurants all the time. You know what I mean? Tim told me, I was like, dude, you're looking kind of thick. He goes, this ain't fat, this money, bro.
Starting point is 00:07:22 I said, damn, bro. This money. Bro, he has it. Yeah, that's a real saying that's what mine is too you know but yeah man just get out there get it to the people man that's all you had that video create create create i was i watched that the other day and i was like holy shit i've wasted this whole pandemic and i could have just watched this video which i saw a few months ago dude i was this whole pandemic two people that have really just been keeping me in uh comedically feeling good at you and tim dillon man i swear to god bro i love tim he's got great stuff man yeah man it's uh it's great stuff so what else is going on dude are you still doing fashion because sometimes i see fashion
Starting point is 00:08:02 sometimes i don't oh right now He got it on right now. We just did a drop. That Jordan. We did that fucking, yeah. We just take Jordan and Travis Scott's shit and flip it. That's what we do. The off-white. Now let's be honest, bro. Who's eating more Travis Scott meals at McDonald's? White people or more urban type of people?
Starting point is 00:08:21 White people. Do black people know about Travis Scott? Yeah, they do. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they're not really onto it. It's like Lester Holt. Like they're there for it, but they ain't really. Yeah, they're not.
Starting point is 00:08:36 They're not riding with him. Bro, Nicky. Lester Holt's the one who's black. Lester Holt. Bro, Lester Holt is. Lester Holt. No top lip. Bro. No top lip No top lip Look at this guy
Starting point is 00:08:49 He's black but he's not But he is There's a white dude in black There's something over here dude What's that other guy Sean King Yeah That's a real tan white guy
Starting point is 00:09:00 That's a real tan white guy But he's black Because you look at him You're black But then you're like Are you Are you Look at those ears Those aren black, but then you're like, are you? Are you? Look at those ears.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Those aren't black ears, dude. Those aren't black ears. That's Richard Dolezal, bro. Richard Dolezal. That's who it is. Oh, shit. I'm serious, man. That ain't damn whatever y'all said.
Starting point is 00:09:18 Lester Holt, bro. That's a lie right there. He should do one episode finding his parents, bro. Getting to the bottom of that bro First 48 Finding his parents bro Is he half Or is he full
Starting point is 00:09:31 I don't know What does it say on his Wikipedia He claims full And he's not fooling anybody Yeah We need to hook him up With Gabby Lamb's lip guy Oh that's true
Starting point is 00:09:39 Who's Gabby Lamb She was sitting in your spot A couple episodes ago Okay She was here last week. She went to AA with Dale. Okay. And what?
Starting point is 00:09:48 She has nice lips? She's doing good. She just got them done. She's got a little injection. She got them things done by like- She got them done like they're fresh off the table. Can we see? Came straight from there to here.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Oh, I want to see. She got them done at a dark competition, dog. These bitches- At a dark competition? These bitches was- They were popping. They were literally popping. they were popping they were literally popping they were popping let me see she might have said she she might have done too much how you guys feel about the lip injections do what you do if you need them that's the only plastic surgery i'm like yo go do it lamb b if you have nothing do them you got those little pencil lips my mom has no
Starting point is 00:10:22 lips she's like a like a bird oh wow And does she want to get it done? No She's you know But it's like getting a If you're getting a BJ It's like doing bumper bowling Remember bumper bowling? Yeah it worked
Starting point is 00:10:31 It's like yeah It was way better With the fucking bumpers It's some shit where they put like tubes on the side So you can't have a gutter ball It's for kids It's for kids yeah It's for adults too, Brendan.
Starting point is 00:10:45 I mean, if you're real shitty at bowling. Brian Gumbel's another one. Same club. I saw Brian Gumbel once. Eating soup, man. I thought he was oh, I hate to say this, but I thought he was Ahmad Rashad, bro. Oh, I could see that.
Starting point is 00:11:01 No, not even close. No, not even close. That's racist, Chappelle. All right, sorry. That's for him, not you. White people expect him to be black. But you? That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Chappelle can't differentiate black people in suits. Bright Gumbel's from the same team as Lester Holt. I'm saying, bro. I thought it was the same shit, though. Come on, now. Nah, dude, that guy's a legend, dude. Ahmad Rashad's a legend. Ahmad Rashad is a legend, man, and I felt bad.
Starting point is 00:11:32 Remember him back in the day? What was it? Reading Rainbow. No. What? No. Oh, that's right. What?
Starting point is 00:11:40 That's right. Reading Rainbow. Now that's racist. This episode's going to get shows canceled. No. It's special, dude. Reading Rainbow. Bring up the guy from Reading Rainbow.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Dude. Are you serious? No, you're way off. No, I know it's not, but they. No, not even. Darker Tone. Well, we're not even friends anymore. The Darker Tone. And this guy died, didn't he? No, he was. Darker Tone. Well, we're not even friends anymore. The Darker Tone.
Starting point is 00:12:06 And this guy died, didn't he? No, he was the host of Jeopardy. He might be the host of Jeopardy. Oh, really? Yeah. I thought that was Doug Williams. Oh, man. Ahmad Rashad did NBA Inside Stuff.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Yeah. Inside Stuff was so sick. God, that was good. That was great. They should have made a movie. I wanted them to make NBA Inside Stuff the movie. I think they did. Did they do Stuff the movie. I think they did. Did they do?
Starting point is 00:12:25 I don't know what they did. Space Jam. Summer Sanders was his co-host. Oh, yeah. Blonde Peace. Oh, he's married to, what's her name that played the wife? Oh, Gabby, the volleyball player. Yeah, she married the, that played Bill Cosby's wife on the Cosby show.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Her right there. She's fine, boy. Gabby Kirk. Got him. Oh, damn. This is Summer Sanders. Who are you guys talking about? Gabby. I don't there. She's fine, boy. Gabby Kirk. Oh, damn. This is Summer Sanders. Who are you guys talking about? Damn.
Starting point is 00:12:47 I don't know who Chappelle's talking about. Forget who I was talking about. Who's Summer? Summer Sanders got them little tits. But what's Ahmad Rashad's best friend? Oh, he's boys with Jordan. Remember, he's all up in the documentary. All up in it.
Starting point is 00:12:59 Acting like they're best friends. Kind of. Kind of. He's in the back, all up in the back all the videos damn bro it's almost christmas man that's crazy oh my god it's christmas you know what happens around the holidays i know what happens man people get sad no people get better too they get lonely yeah people do get lonely you need to talk somebody but quit talking to your friend maybe they're with their family on the holidays and they can't get back in time and And some people's friend is an idiot. Yep. So that's the thing. You talk to them forever,
Starting point is 00:13:28 but you're not getting better. And that's why what we're offering you today is better help. Yeah. Start communicating under 48 hours. It's not crisis line. It's not self-help. We're talking about real professional counseling done securely online. Yep. There's a broad range of expertise available, which may not be locally available. That's a thing. Sometimes if you look around your house or around your available, which may not be locally available. That's a thing. Sometimes if you look around your house or around your apartment, you can't get any help. And it's worldwide, baby. Worldwide.
Starting point is 00:13:59 BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if you're not feeling your counselor. All right. BetterHelp wants you to start living a happier life right now. Stay on earth. Stay lit, baby. And that's what we're talking about. Go to betterhelp.com slash K-A-T-S. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.
Starting point is 00:14:16 And join the over 1 million people taking charge of their mental health. And we have a special offer, too. Yeah, special offer for the King and the Sting squad. You guys get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com slash K-A-T-S. PG, baby. Praise God. Man, I'll tell you what will give you athletic browns, baby. Dude, them greens.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Athletic greens, dog. My gosh. Schultz is going to try it out on his little gift. He doesn't know it yet, but he's getting a nice little gift of athletic greens, man. We're talking about athletic greens greens the most comprehensive daily nutritional beverage i've ever tried hands down dog i've put a lot of things in my mouth we're talking about one tasty scoop of athletic greens contains 75 vitamins that's scoop daddy they call him man beat the cold season get that immune system popping yeah dude you don't want to show up to a party or show up to 2021 with a weak immune system.
Starting point is 00:15:05 You over there, one of your arms is getting smaller than the other one. You shaking. Yeah, you got moss growing on one side of your back, bro. Tighten up, dude. Athletic Greens is doubling down on supporting the immune system during the winter months. They're offering our audience free one-year supplies of vitamin D and five free travel packs. Dang, and you love D. Simply visit athleticgreens.com slash cats and join the health experts,
Starting point is 00:15:30 athletes, and health conscious people to make your life better. Again, visit athleticgreens.com slash cats. Get your free year supply of that D, baby, and free five packs of travels packs today. Amen. Dyslexia. Yes,ia yes it packs twice dude who is he i want to know because you are really you're kind of covert you're almost like a russian spy in the urban community i feel like all right so who have you met that's like who have you met bro you know what i'm saying dude who have you met That I know That I would be That we would probably Be afraid of
Starting point is 00:16:06 Like who are the killers That I've met Yeah Anybody will ask you To hold a gun No I haven't met any Like real like Shot caller type dudes
Starting point is 00:16:12 Suge Knight No I haven't met Suge This guy's not tough But have you met Tekashi69 out there No I haven't met Tekashi Oh weird Yeah I wanted to meet him
Starting point is 00:16:21 I was fascinated by him Have you seen the documentary On Hulu Yeah it's good Fire Yeah he did for hip hop What the Paul brothers Are doing for boxing Yeah, I wanted to meet him. I was fascinated by him I've seen the documentary on Hulu Yeah, Hulu is pretty good Fire Yeah, he did for hip-hop what the Paul brothers are doing for boxing Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:16:29 Like he just was calling people out and he knew that they weren't gonna do anything And trolling everybody Yeah No, they're not gonna do anything and they got all this attention Exactly, when you troll the super gangsters and they don't do something as super gangster You look like the super gangster Because they can't these days anyway because it's all They go to jail
Starting point is 00:16:44 Yeah Well the feds see everything. Exactly. Like your Instagram and stuff. It's crazy. These kids are like, they're rapping about the crimes they do and the feds will just listen to the song that they post in their Instagram. Like all these people got locked up for the PPE shit.
Starting point is 00:16:55 The PPP or whatever it is. The loan shit. The loan thing. Because they were bragging about getting... Buying Ferraris and Lambos. Wait, who did that? There was a bunch of people. There was a guy out here, man.
Starting point is 00:17:03 There was a guy out here. Yeah, a bunch of people did. Fuck. Because they got those relief loans for their businesses, but they were lying about them, so they give them like $2 million, and they're buying Lamborghinis and posting on the gram, rapping about it. That's Tom Segura doing that, I think, wasn't it? He's starting to show off like a dude.
Starting point is 00:17:18 Yeah, he's always in a new car and shit. Yeah, man. But isn't this... Whatever, bro. I'm kind like okay with that Like get your money Bro and it's also I think you hit the nail On the head man
Starting point is 00:17:29 And it's just interesting That that's what Yeah you could talk shit To anybody And If they're not gonna do anything Nobody's doing anything anymore Tekashi69 went to
Starting point is 00:17:37 Southside Chicago Was feeding homeless people And was saying Suck my dick That's it To everybody He went to O-Block Everybody And he did it And like they were like He came in three in the afternoon It was like Okay like And was saying, suck my dick to everybody. He went to O-Block. Everybody.
Starting point is 00:17:45 And he did it. They were like, he came in three in the afternoon. It was like, okay. He's still there. Is that the safe time? I'm not going there. I'm not going there. Anytime.
Starting point is 00:17:55 He would go into an abandoned bakery and give out hundreds of dollars to everybody. He was just giving money. It was kind of sad because he was making kids in Brooklyn look like he was in Peru. He was giving $5 bills and kids in Brooklyn were going crazy. It's like you live in New York You paid $2,000 for rent And then he and then now everyone like Snoop everyone's talking shit about him cuz they're saying he's a snitch Yeah, yeah, everyone still fucks with him. Yeah Man you bring him on anything. He's good. Did he go back to jail?
Starting point is 00:18:25 I couldn't figure that out. No, he's out. He's free. Yeah, he's free. Doing music, doing videos. And highly protected. Yeah, he got to be. Now, what about, here's a question right here from somebody
Starting point is 00:18:33 who obviously can't decide if he wants to be you or Nick. Who's obviously not going to play the extra Superman. What do you got? This is our Christmas episode, so we have some Christmas-related topics. Okay, cool. Yo, King. Yo, Sting. Glad to be here. Thanks for the invite.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Listen, I got a King and a Sting for y'all. Decorating for the holidays. He barely opens his mouth when he talks. It looks like it hurts to talk. Is he wired shut? Inside. I think he it hurts to talk. Is he wired shut? Inside of your head. I think he's wearing a wire.
Starting point is 00:19:09 All right. So I just recently got back from college, just graduated, and I'm back living with the parents. North Pole State. And this is just what I got to deal with. I mean, there's so many decorations. There's decorations hiding decorations. Oh, this is mom's house. I mean, this is just what I got to deal with. I mean, there's so many decorations. There's decorations hiding decorations. Oh, this is mom's house.
Starting point is 00:19:27 I mean, this is the whole family. So I'm just wondering, guys. King of the Sting, decorating the inside of your home for the holidays. Love you guys. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. That's the most relaxed person I've ever seen His energy He went so slow
Starting point is 00:19:50 There was three minutes He couldn't fit that on Instagram He wouldn't even open his jaw to speak It looked like it hurt It sounded like an aging boxer That was unbelievable That was unbelievable that he thought That he should have that whole video played like people tune out of things but i couldn't stop watching because i was
Starting point is 00:20:10 like am i gonna see his tongue or not i don't think he has a tongue that guy i think he's hiding the fact he doesn't have a tongue look at him see if he has a tongue he's a shark bro yeah right look at it i've never seen a shark tongue there's no there's no shark tongue my Mike Cannon and Mike Feeney, I think we're talking about that. They're like, they don't have tongues. It's just a hole. There's no tongue. Yeah. But why do they need a tongue?
Starting point is 00:20:31 It tastes good. Right? If it's there. No. No tongue. No. It would be cool if our tongues were flavored, though, wouldn't it? Fuck yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Flavored tongues? Get your little barbecue tongue. Little barbecue tongue? Just have it all day while you're playing ball. Barbecue ball tongue. People are like, damn, what you eating? Like, oh, just having a little bit of myself. Decorating.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Did your girl, did your fiance decorate the apartment? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We did a little Christmas tree action. That shit's dope. Chicks dig it. If you got kids, you definitely need to do it. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Yeah. My house is lit. Look, I'm about the Christmas spirit, man. Me too. Let's get into it. I mean, it doesn't look like it today. I know we're doing a fucking Christmas episode, but let's go. No, you didn't bring any fashion for us, even though we've watched a million stories about it.
Starting point is 00:21:14 I was going to send you guys fashion. I had it all printed and everything. And then I remember I asked you for the address. I was like, where can I send some stuff? Yeah, what happened, Brandon? A global pandemic. I literally have it at the studio like putting these like cool Plastic containers. Yeah, it's fucked up pandemic hit pandemic hit. Hmm. And then what you just been selling it to everybody else
Starting point is 00:21:49 Buy a shirt, you cheap fuck. What's going on? Why does everybody need free shirts? You're right, bro. Come on. All right. Support. Did you decorate the place in Nashville?
Starting point is 00:21:59 No. I decorated the studio. We just had Santa Claus on, actually. Nick, you want to pull up that up real quick? Yes, sir. Dude, we had the real Santa came Wow And he You found this dude from a mall in Nashville or what
Starting point is 00:22:09 He works at a Smoothie King four days a week But he is so talented This is a sad story Wait till you see this man Yeah this is a sad story He's talented This man is on God number one Before you play this
Starting point is 00:22:19 I don't trust anybody who wants to play Santa Claus in a mall I've always said this This is also like next level podcasting Cause like we're podcasting watching another podcast. Oh, damn. Whoa. You really got him. That's some shit.
Starting point is 00:22:32 What is? Oh, is that Brian Cowling? What did he say? That's Brian Cowling. It could be. No way. It could be, dude. He's wearing that new doesn't make a dance merch.
Starting point is 00:22:49 That Santa's looking oily though, son. Yeah, we can't make Can we make the Leah jokes about a guy who has kids sit on his lap? I don't want in on this. I don't want in on this. I don't want in on this. I don't want in on it.
Starting point is 00:23:07 I can't do it. I can't do it. We can't do that. You guys are fucked up. Buy some fashion, you freaks. Buy some fucking fashion. Yeah, buy some fashion. But dude, this is what it feels like when you meet him.
Starting point is 00:23:24 That's the look you have on your face, and that's him, bro. Look how big he is. He's almost seven feet tall. And he works at a Smoothie King? He works outside of one. Oh, he doesn't work for Smoothie King. Nah, man. He's a hired man.
Starting point is 00:23:38 He's a hired gun, baby. Did he come through with the reindeers? No, but he said that they have some reindeer that are on JV. He went, dude, he went. Did he play the character the whole time? Bro, there but he said that they have some reindeer that are on jv he went dude he went bro he's saying there's no doubt that dude is santa was he fifty dollars an hour some shit uh i think he was about three hundred dollars for the visit oh damn santa yeah i'm starting to think your tongue does taste like barbecue sauce bro because you've been licking your lips why don't you sit some of that eggnog right over there, brother?
Starting point is 00:24:08 Y'all need to get that taste tox. Did you lose taste? Did you lose taste when you got that Rohn's? Yes. You did? He don't fucking know. And still ate fat. And still ate fat.
Starting point is 00:24:20 That's how you know I'm addicted to food. I still ate fat. You ate fat. I couldn't taste anything. I still ate like a fat ass. It made no sense. I was ordering pizzas every day. Burritos every day. More spicy.
Starting point is 00:24:31 You put the hot sauce in it. I dumped hot sauce on everything. I'll say who has a good hot sauce. I'm not even joking. I thought it wasn't going to be any good. Dustin Poirier's New Hot. We send each other shit all the time. It's garbage, bro. I used I did not. You know, people send, you know, we send each other shit all the time, and it's garbage, bro.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Yeah. And then, you know, because I used to do CBD milkshakes. You got me on. Yeah. My fucking back has been hurting since I drank. Really? Yeah. Your skin looks better, though.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Well, but the doctor said they might have metal in it. But this is the best $12. Hold on. It's good. This is the third episode. I don't know if he's giving you a fucking share. This is the third episode in a row, Don. You can put it on salad.
Starting point is 00:25:08 This shit is good. Use code TPW. Actually, there is no code, but it is good, bro. But anyway. I love that guy, Dustin, man. You're boys with him? Yeah, he's a legend, man. Yeah, he's great, man.
Starting point is 00:25:21 There's a fight coming up in January. It's Conor, right? Is that a tricky fight for him? It's a tough fight for him. Yeah. Really. Because Conor's arms are just long. The way that they, sometimes the way people's arms meet up with other people's heads is
Starting point is 00:25:32 different. For sure. And some are better at meeting up with other people's heads. Yeah. You still trying to bet on that? Dustin, you know I love you. I know you watch the show, but you trying to bet on that? Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:25:41 What do you want to bet? I'll lay a grand on it right now. Whoa! Let's go, daddy. I was going to say two grand. Oh, damn, bro. Whoa! Nah, man. A grand? One grand, man. What do you want to bet? I'll lay a grand on it right now. Whoa! Let's go, Danny! I was going to say two grand. Oh, damn, bro. Whoa! A grand? One grand, bro. And I want fucking cash on the show,
Starting point is 00:25:52 Doug. Bring fucking cash. Don't be trying to give those fucking cashier checks or send me fucking Theo merch. Who are you going for? Here's a grand in fucking hitter gear. Don't do that shit. Give me that real shit. I think that real shit. I think Connor wins that.
Starting point is 00:26:06 You got Connor. And I love Dustin. Yeah, I like Dustin too, man. And here's Nick going to his own website that he built. Nick's picks. From the ground up. Nick lost me over $4,000 this year on MMA. For real?
Starting point is 00:26:21 But his own return on investment has been a couple of grand. I think I just picked the wrong ones. I'm headed into 2021 down eight units at the moment. We got one event left, so let's get in the black. Let's go. In the black, baby. Get in the black. In the black.
Starting point is 00:26:34 What does that mean? Yeah, that's your whole career plan. Yeah, nobody ever talks about that. You didn't hear that? You often hear that we use black as a term for scary or dark or whatever. There's a negative connotation, but when your business is profitable, what is it? In the black. In the black. We've got to start promoting that a little bit more, no? We don't mention that. We don't mention that enough.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Come on now. Now, was New York with all the... Yeah, yeah. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't even compare New York to out here. This dog don't do this yeah we're dog yo everything's close we're the reason why we're shut down pussies bro you're yeah yeah you do what people tell you you
Starting point is 00:27:13 do what people tell you bro our governor said shut it down and you guys you guys shut it down no we don't shut it down we don't listen to your governor's the one that started this pandemic we don't listen to nobody miley cyrus the old people. We don't listen to nobody. Miley Cyrus, dog, can't stop. Nobody put their parents in that fucking place. Nobody put their parents there. Cuomo pushed everybody in there. He went, oh, you're sick. No, the old people.
Starting point is 00:27:33 They were from Connecticut. They weren't even from New York. Nobody from New York put their parents in old people's home. It's wrong. It is wrong. It's wrong. And if you care about your grandparents, then you ain't letting them die out in some shed somewhere on the suburbs.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Yeah, let them die in your shed. Yeah, let them die in your fucking shed. That's New York. No, I'm just saying, I'm here. Everything's closed, even in my hotel. Wow. I can't get snacks. It's sad.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Don't go bad on it, dog. You're in Nashville. It's sad. You go to Nashville for a reason. Alex Media, what's up? It's so bad, I left. What's up, Alex? This is my squad.
Starting point is 00:28:03 This is my squad over here. You got that fashion, huh? What's going on, brother? What's going on?? This is my squad. This is my squad over here. You look at that fat shun, huh? What's going on, brother? What's going on? Good to see you guys. Thank you for coming in. Careful, don't hit that. Number one on Netflix, she comes with an entourage.
Starting point is 00:28:11 You got to come with the people, bro. Yeah, you got to come with the entourage. Thank you so much, man. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much. Starbucks coffee. You different now, man. You different now.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Yo, your boy changed, bro. You different now. I'm different. I've been different. No. I've been different, bro. I changed, bro. I changed it up. I can't believe you're how you are. different now i'm different different i've been different no i've been different bro i changed bro i changed it up i can't believe you're how you are honestly bro real talk did he get you
Starting point is 00:28:40 because there's nothing attached to it but y'all know what i'm saying exactly Because there's nothing attached to it. But y'all know what I'm saying, bro. Exactly. That was the end of the sentence. If I'm offended, you're like, well, I didn't know that's what you thought. That's whatever you want to make of it, dog. Y'all slipping, man. No, but for real, it's too shut down over here.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Y'all got to crack shit open. You've been outside. You don't even belong here, dog. You're out here biking every single day. That's not a Cali way of doing shit. I'm living. You're living. Everybody out here not living. He belongs in Rochester. Where else'm living. You're living. Everybody out here not living.
Starting point is 00:29:05 He belongs in Rochester. Where else? Brownsville. Maybe Brownsville. I can see you over there fighting crime. You look like a good crime fighter. A bunch of these bitches left. Florida? That's offensive. You could thrive in Florida.
Starting point is 00:29:21 That's offensive. Why is that offensive, dude? Oh, shit. Is that you, Brendan? Who is this handsome man is that offensive, dude? Oh, shit. Is that you, Brendan? Who is this handsome man? This is Cats in the Wild, Brendan. Interior decorating. Damn. Schultz looks very confused.
Starting point is 00:29:36 People send in. He kind of got the fatty. Brendan, look at him. What is it? What's going on? No. No, come on, bro. That's it. Come on, bro. That's it. But What is it? What's going on? No. No, come on, bro. That's it.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Come on, bro. That's it. But what is that? That's Bobby Lee? People, our fans send in sightings they see in the wild of people on this show. And someone thought that was Brendan doing some interior decorating. You guys got like a real show. Like this is produced and stuff. It's a real show. Like this is produced and stuff.
Starting point is 00:30:06 It's a real show, man. This is next level. I thought we were just out here talking shit. You guys got sex and some stuff. This ain't that New York shit. No, you guys are next level with it. Yo, y'all changed, bro. Y'all changed.
Starting point is 00:30:16 No, we've been like this. No, we've been like this. We've been like this. We've been like this. No, we've been like this. I've changed. You've changed? You've changed, Theo? How'd you change, like this. I've changed. I've definitely changed. You've changed?
Starting point is 00:30:26 How'd you change? You went to Nashville. It was all different now. I don't know. I think I got angry this past year. I don't know what happened. It could have been all the turmoil out in the streets. Nah, you've been angry since I met you.
Starting point is 00:30:35 Have I really? Yeah. I think also y'all took away the TFATK belt, so I didn't have any place to put that anger also. Y'all took away that strap after I fucking- Well, it's a new belt now. Is it? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Well, you didn't say anything or. Well, we had to rebrand, you know. Yeah. Well, it's your fault. Episode 24 of King and the Sting was called Rat Rage because Theo came in really angry on that one. I love it. What were you charged up about? This is, I love the passion. Name something. Name something. I love it. What were you charged up about? This is, I love the passion.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Name something. Is there something that's really fucking ticking you off? Like, what is the thing that's just driving you right now? I would say it, huh? But what specific? There's gotta be a specific thing that you're really annoyed at. That chess girl on
Starting point is 00:31:22 Netflix, the chess thing? That helped me a little You like that That guy you threw That got me through A tough fucking couple days Yeah What's got me so angry I don't know bro
Starting point is 00:31:31 I think I just I don't know This year I just got angry bro There's something dude Too much information out there I think sometimes It's just too much to do And too much information
Starting point is 00:31:39 And too much Like You don't think COVID Made you upset Like COVID made me angry The isolation of it The The way Our society Especially to your point, LA reacted to it. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:50 It was just like, okay, and shut everything down. It's like, whoa. Soft. Soft. Yeah, yeah. Soft people driving me nuts. Like in Tennessee, you can do frontside piggyback rides over there. They're still doing it all.
Starting point is 00:32:00 Frontside piggyback ride? They just wheelbarrow. Dude, they wheelbarrow out there to the restaurant. Holding up. People are living well. Can I get a piggyback? Yeah, sure. Hop on.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Front side. Front side. Front side. Bro, that's next level. That's an Uber Black. That's an Uber Black. You already bent down. He just comes around the front like, look up, buddy.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Nah, man, I'm going frontside. It's frontside today. And don't worry about a mask either. He's just staring down at you. Nah, we going front. His chin is hitting him in the nose. Just don't look at me while we ride. Nah, that's gay.
Starting point is 00:32:46 That's where it becomes gay. You can't piggyback without eye contact. Make that motherfucker close their eyes. Oh, yeah. Just look over my shoulder. Yeah. I'll tell you where to go from here. Take a nap.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Take a nap. Look over my shoulder. Praise God, bro. Andrew, what can we expect out of your show, man? What can people expect out of the show? I know that's just kind of a general question, but what do you think could make this show that you're doing now have longevity and stuff?
Starting point is 00:33:11 I hope people get pissed. I don't want it to be a show that we do every week. I just want it to be like a piece. And we'll see about doing it next year. Is it in traditional, like a traditional special? No, so it's basically like the turn your phone videos I was doing. And it's a monologue. And then the monologue has this like dance with the pictures, you know?
Starting point is 00:33:33 So like you, the jokes are kind of like punctuated by the pictures and like, yeah. So it's just, I don't know. We do four 15 minute segments of it. I watched it last night. It was great. Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah. I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Yeah. What's up with that sweater though? I got you, bro. Charlamagne was like, dude, if people aren't upset by this, I'm going to be pissed. I'm sorry to get the reviews to them. Yeah! So you're paying attention to all of it? I mean, those are the best reviews. For comedy,
Starting point is 00:33:58 you don't want the reviewers to go, oh my god, this was great. Because if people go, oh my god, this was great from a reviewer, it means nothing. You know what I'm saying? I don't watch things because a reviewer says they're good. But if somebody goes, this was the most offensive thing ever and they're a reviewer, immediately
Starting point is 00:34:13 watch it. Give me the time stamp. I'm going for it. The goal is, because if you're a comedy reviewer, in my opinion, even if you're a reviewer who has said nice things to me, you're the lowest form of human being. Because anybody, like look, with basketball, you can analyze basketball because you're not 6'6", and you just can't do it.
Starting point is 00:34:32 Yeah, it's like Michael Rapaport. Boom. Wait, yeah. What do you mean? Keep going. I think it is that. Oh, no, yeah, because he talks shit about LeBron or whatever. Yeah, he's just always out there, like, they can't handle it.
Starting point is 00:34:42 He does his shit with the big three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice, Q. So, but my point is, like, okay, you always out there. Like, they can't handle it. He does his shit with Big 3. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's cute. But my point is, like, okay, you could analyze that, but you can't physically do it. But if you're a comedy reviewer and you know what the best comedy is, by all means, show us what it is. Like, there's nothing stopping. You could talk. Yeah, go.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Get up there. Yeah, get up there. Just do it. Yeah. Absolutely. So, like. Just do it. You could just do it.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Like, just do it. Like, just please, if you can just do it like just do it like just please if you know exactly what it is do it do it you get off that laptop and get up there yeah because i can't wait to see what perfect comedy is yeah so our goal for the reviewers is scathing review that's like oh my god this is the most offensive thing. This is so fucked up. Absolutely. Absolutely. 100%. So if that happens with them, because the people are going to show the love. Because the people don't have an agenda.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Your fans are going to rally around it. Not even my fans. Like the average person. It's so good. And I'm not saying that to be like braggadocious, but like we put so much fucking work into this, bro. Because I was trying to book you for a hot second. I'm working 19 hours.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Bro, I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. He goes 15 minutes straight. Just fucking. Dude, what's funny is when you were releasing those clips on instagram like flip your phone i was jealous when that happened god bless is that where the anger comes from huh i'm good now you all you were very supportive you hit me up i had a buddy who wanted to do that yeah you did a friend a friend of ours we all know you You didn't say anything about it. You were like, you ever been to Nashville?
Starting point is 00:36:06 I think it's my move-on. This shit's all popping. That's the question. Think about going out. I hear Broadway's a pretty cool street. A lot of cool, fun things to do out there. He made it out here. Oh, little tink tink.
Starting point is 00:36:23 They call me Scat Williams Scat Williams baby That's crazy man I had a friend who wanted to do like A take on that Like what Schultz is doing Yeah no doubt have you ever seen what Schultz is doing He's like uh no I went go look and he looked at me
Starting point is 00:36:42 Oh I'm not going to do that anymore I don't have that How does that break down down? So you have you know, you have your guys here today Did they help put that together and stuff? So yeah, there was three for this one There's three writers and me so the four of us would basically it's like this so nerdy when I describe it It's like the least fun. It's like game. We like it though. No, you guys could see how the sausage is made Yeah, but like basically what we do is we write a term paper with no jokes. Oh, yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:37:11 It's literally like a term paper. Like popping topics. Literally, we take the topic. We talk to all the experts. You're going to tell us. Yeah. And then we write a fucking term paper, and then we turn every line into a joke, and then we do a whole pass with the pictures.
Starting point is 00:37:23 Ooh. You could watch it just seeing me, and then you get one version of it, and then we do a whole pass with the pictures you could watch it just seeing me and then you get one version of it and then you could not look at me and just look at the pictures and you get a whole different version of it so like people are like they're like i had to watch it four times is that the other and it's like we throw all these little tricks in there if you do watch it i guess what i would say is um watch it all the way to the ends of the credits that's all i would say okay got it what's dope is it's of the credits. That's all I would say. Okay. Got it. What's dope is it's perfect timing, too, because everybody's going to be watching that shit because it's the holidays.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Everyone's chilling. And you're locked in. You can't go nowhere. Did you see that this January 15th I'm doing a live show at 8 p.m. Eastern Central at a time? And you can get tickets online. Just throw that out there. That was, yeah, I did see that. Very cool.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Between hot sauce and his live show, here we go. What's this? Bro, I'm trying to cash out. Dude, you see some people trying to cash out. They're selling everything right now. I think some people are. Who's got a sale? Phil Vaughn.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Look, man, sometimes you're looking at, you know, you go outside your door and you try to find something to eat like the old days. You might hunt something. Hunt you a little raccoon. Hunt you a little salamander, bro. Barbecue that squirrel. Not anymore, dude. With HelloFresh. We're talking about HelloFresh.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Sends food to your crib. No more hunting. No more going hungry anymore. Dude. All you got to do is go to hellofresh.com slash 80 cats use the code 80 cats get 80 off including free shipping dude i'm telling you this a squirrel is just a rat with that booty scarf baby you're right dog so what i'm telling you guys right now is sometimes you make a meal for somebody and they come over they say this is garbage they won't eat
Starting point is 00:39:00 it they say they get sick or they got vertigo or something and they sneak off. Not anymore, man. But what happens with this type of meal is that it's all organized. They got a chart. It's got onion. They got a little bit of onion in there. They got maybe some barbecue sauce. They got a pork cutlet. You're talking about that pre-portioned ingredients, high quality.
Starting point is 00:39:18 You can make the meals. They're delicious. All right. Bro, you could try new stuff, man. You could be a one-armed blind dude in a damn pool full of quicksand. You could figure this meal out. Hell yeah. We're talking about meals in under 20 minutes, low-calorie, vegetarian, kid-approved, whatever you want.
Starting point is 00:39:35 We got it for you, man. HelloFresh is changing the way you eat your food. And they are chef-crafted. This isn't just miscellaneous. This isn't somebody's cousin trying to tell you what they think they ate. This is something classy. And we have a special deal for you guys right now. And that deal is HelloFresh.com slash 80cats.
Starting point is 00:39:54 A-Z-O-K-A-T-S. Yep. Use code 80cats to get $80 off and free shipping. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Look, it's that time of year and I see you're freaking main dog it's just been looking tragic online bro but you finally starting to tighten up a little bit man because you're getting that growth and how are you doing dude with hams oh who is he yeah it's my friend hams who is he dude you know 66 men such a loser here by 35 and once it's gone
Starting point is 00:40:23 it's gone daddy so what who's helping you his name's hymns dog who is him i don't want to tell you his name for hymns.com one-stop shop for hair loss skin care and sexual wellness for the bros it's time to write a new chapter one in which you got a full set of hair yep and when was the last time you took care of your dick think about that you're running around using your dick and not taking care of taking it for granted where you're taking it yeah and look that thing ain't a damn 88 uh chevrolet um charger ram charger so what i'm saying is today hymns is giving you their best offer yet if you're not happy with your results after 90 days hymns will give you a full refund a mess as much refund as you could have. That's a complete refund. Full.
Starting point is 00:41:08 That's 4hims.com slash K-A-T-S. Go to 4hims.com slash K-A-T-S to get the opportunity after within 90 days, get that full refund. Yes. Also, prescription projects require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if the prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information. Remember, that's 4hims.com slash cats. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:41:33 What's this little young honey saying? So we asked a couple weeks ago, we want to see who's out there, our fans, and get some new blood in the culture corner. Just see who's out there. And this was one of our- Can we just pause for- She's got very sweet looking girl, but're talking about teeth yeah there's i feel like she's missing the teeth that go after the big teeth it's all big teeth no it looks like all big teeth no fangs are coming too quick i think she's missing these two teeth no i think she has
Starting point is 00:41:59 all big teeth she's fine yeah really yeah i'm not mad at her no i'm not mad at her i'm just i can't stop looking at that yeah you got that bone hinge baby it looks good to me uh-huh hey brendan it's anna from south florida oh too far uh miami no you want to tell you you have a kid right now i'm here to submit to be in the culture corner mira porque yo hablo eslo español, toda la vaina, ya tú sabes. Hey, there you go. All that, all that. I speak Spanish. I am the funniest person in my friends group, if I do say so myself.
Starting point is 00:42:35 And I have done a few open mics. However, due to the pandemic, I can't really do that anymore. So I would just love this opportunity to meet you guys and be a part of a show that I love You know I got them Haters And I have the Haters in the back So gang gang bye bye
Starting point is 00:42:56 Did she say there's a trunk in the back She got that J in the tray baby Hell yeah What you think Jolte I don't know what's going on. Do we make fun of them? Do we just listen? Like, what is happening?
Starting point is 00:43:10 You can light them up, whatever you want. It's a minute at your own risk. I think you light them up if you think that's what they deserve. Is that the culture of the show? Yes. Because I understand these are your biggest supporters. You know what I mean? So I'm not trying to like.
Starting point is 00:43:22 Everybody gets it. I look at it how you look at it. I think that we don't roast them. But we roast them if there's something to be roasted like there's not much there's yeah she has the same front teeth all around but yeah yeah yeah yeah she has pixar teeth she looks like the dad from up look at teeth. Go back to the beginning of the video. It's not bad. I want to see her chew into a baguette and just
Starting point is 00:43:51 tear that shit apart. He's like, I don't know what to do. She can fucking guillotine a baguette. Oh, 100%. She has the Pixar teeth and the fucking Moana tits. The Moana tits, he said? Isn't Moana like 11?
Starting point is 00:44:10 No, dog. Moana's 10. Bro, don't do what they did to you, bro. Look at the damn chart you gave me. Bro, I'm old. There's no age. You L.A. motherfucker. She grew up, dog.
Starting point is 00:44:22 That's why you went to Nashville. That's what these white motherfuckers talking about. Why are you doing this shit, man? Bro. Yeah, that girl could go through it. That's from Incredibles. That's her. That's the doctor from, not the doctor, the scientist. Incredibles, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Ah, man. Damn, the accuracy. But yes, that is her, 100%. That's great. That is fucked up, dude. But no disrespect, obviously This is with all due respect This is with all due respect
Starting point is 00:44:51 You know, that we're saying that your teeth fucking suck They don't suck, though They don't suck Oh, damn Who's this? Oh my god Are these twins? These are not twins.
Starting point is 00:45:06 This is twins? Look at the picture in the back. Yeah, I was really thinking he was doing... I thought he was trying to pull up. Wait, these are twins, dude? This is fucking... This is type 2 Leo. What's up, Brendan?
Starting point is 00:45:19 What's up, Theo? I'm Skyler. I'm Spencer. And we're identical twins. And we're from Wakanda, Illinois. And no, not the Black from Wakanda, Illinois. And no, not the Black Panther Wakanda, even though that would be pretty cool. I think we'd be perfect for the Culture Corner, especially being identical twins.
Starting point is 00:45:36 We've experienced a lot of things through our lives, and we definitely have some stories. Yeah, and I think we bring a lot to the table. Don't touch me, bro. Double gang, double buzz. Oh, wow. I'll tell you right now, I hope them boys don't get COVID. Oh, damn. Oh, this feels uncomfortable to look at. Twins are a little scary to look at.
Starting point is 00:45:57 They shouldn't be there. I don't believe it. My arch nemesis were twins growing up, bro. Yeah? Everybody's was. You mean your arch, yeah, more than one. Arch nemeses, right up, bro. Yeah. Everybody's was. You mean your arch, yeah, more than one. Oh, yeah. Arch nemeses, right?
Starting point is 00:46:06 Nemeses. Yeah. So you had two people that looked exactly the same. They were my cousins, and me and my brother would fight them on spot. On spot. What's up, Raymond and Daniel? What the fuck's up now, dog? Raymond is one of them.
Starting point is 00:46:17 That's an adult name for a child. Raymond and Daniel. Yeah, it's a little too old for a kid. Weird, man. It's a little too old for a kid. He's like a little baby Raymond. I know, right? But these guys, can we talk about these guys for a kid. Weird, man. He's a little too old for a kid. He's like a little baby Raymond. I know, right? But these guys,
Starting point is 00:46:27 can we talk about these guys for a little bit? First of all, that picture in the back, bro. It's terrifying. Epic. Look at that fuck.
Starting point is 00:46:33 They seem friendly. Right there with their mouths open. Oh my God. They would be good. Dude, I always thought. Hey, if you're looking for a tongue,
Starting point is 00:46:41 there you go, Andrew. Bro, yeah, they got that. That tongue's been through some work right there. Oh, that's a beef liver. Who do they look like? That's a beef liver, baby. They look like somebody.
Starting point is 00:46:49 They look like someone, yeah. I think the type 2 Leo. But they do look a little bit like the dad from Up, almost like they could have been his son. The head shape was similar to the dad from Up show that we had just seen. They look like someone. Damn, in the back, they look fine as hell sitting in the back, the cowboys. That's that L.A. shit. Come back out. That's that L come back LA shit, bro. You can say kids are fine as fuck now, dude
Starting point is 00:47:09 You keep my kids Chill out son. What are you commenting? This is crazy? Boston be a damn show to go back. No you did. Yeah, look at this little bad bitch No, you didn't. Look at this little bad bitch. I love Boston, man. Shut the fuck up, man. This kid fine as hell, bro. For a kid, bro.
Starting point is 00:47:30 I don't talk to children. I'm an adult, bro. But show me that fucking work, boo-boo. Right here. Bam, son. Yo, why would you post this, bro? Look at the comment. Shorty looking back at it, fam.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Yeah, but she's looking back. Is it he or is she? Come on, bro. That's disrespectful, bro. You can't post your kid like this, bro. I didn't think my friends would be turned on by it. They're not turned on, but still. But I'll Lindbergh that little motherfucker, bro.
Starting point is 00:47:57 You know what I'm saying, dude? And with them boots on, Shorty working out. Those booty boots. Yeah, bro. Damn. Shorty looking back at it. That's wild. She got that Amelia Earhart briefcase on she working on, dog.
Starting point is 00:48:11 I'm out there for this. You wild. I know, right? Y'all messed up, bro. Amelia Earhart. Y'all messed up, dude. And now these little bad biscuits right here should fucking fist fight. I always thought twins should fist fight.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Yep, and one of them needs to go somebody gotta go yep battle of the death that's how i'd do it but look man i would love i think you guys would be interesting to have in here they have good personalities yeah the problem is did we say they had to be in la yeah and i mean i was just going picking the best submissions like seeing if like you guys loved one who knows but i like both of them so far well they're cool i I'm uncomfortable. The other chick with the hitters was cool. I'm uncomfortable by it.
Starting point is 00:48:48 But now, are you guys having guests on your show? Man, we did that. I haven't watched it yet. I'm going to watch it. Wait, wait. On what show? On Brilliant Idiots? No, on Andrew Schultz's show on Netflix.
Starting point is 00:48:58 Oh, no. That's just like a rant. Okay. That's a special one. Thanks for being prepared. That's a special, son. I'm the only one. Thanks for being prepared. That's a special, son. I'm the only one that watched it last night. Brendan told me today.
Starting point is 00:49:10 He's like, when does it come out? I'm like, two days ago. I thought it came out today. That's why I thought it came out today. I paid attention. I followed, dog. I followed. Thank you, bro.
Starting point is 00:49:20 I'm not on social media. I don't fucking know. You're just posting your kid twerking. You're not on social media. What are you talking about. You're just posting your kid twerking. What's all social media? What are you talking about? It was his birthday. That's what he wanted? Yeah. That's what he wanted?
Starting point is 00:49:30 That's what he asked for. Drop it for me, kid. That's what he asked for, dog. Damn, bro. Oh, God. Who's this little fine piece? Jesus. So I listen to you guys every day in the morning on the website.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Is that the girl from UFC? I think that you're missing some European culture in that culture. Megan O'Leary? Megan O'Leary. She's married. You ever seen Megan O'Leary? Yeah, we've heard her. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:49:53 Adds to the conversation. Also, I know Kat has a friend, but I feel like she needs an actual woman in the room with her. Is she going back on Kat? No, she said she needs a woman support. Yeah, I'm totally serious about going to la like you might think it's crazy but i have an auntie there and i'm so bored with covid like at this point i'm like why not so i'd be there i'd quarantine and i'd be in that coach corner um also side note i know all 70 of the attractive girls
Starting point is 00:50:23 if they need something you know if everything's booked out. Yeah. You do that. You know what I'm saying, bro? You'll pick her up from the airport. I'm not doing all that. Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are.
Starting point is 00:50:35 I'll provide grounds. All right. Are you single? I'm single, yeah. Oh, shit. Have you been shooting your shot during this little lockdown? Let me think man not really no not no nashville honeys i've been on a couple dates that's it but have you busted
Starting point is 00:50:50 cheeks i've been jerking off no but not a ton i got four days right now oh that's what's up okay there you go there we go Yeah, bro. Huh? What, jerking off? There's nothing gay than touching yourself again. No, not jerking off. Again. After you jerked off hundreds of thousands of times and you keep doing it, that's sick, really. Yeah, you're right. It's crazy. Think if you watched somebody do that, you'd feel so sorry for them if you saw them every night doing that in their house. What, jerking off?
Starting point is 00:51:15 Yeah. It's kind of sad. Shit, you're engaged, son. Yeah, I'm growing up. You went off the market. What happened, bro? I'm done, bro. I had such a time in your life.
Starting point is 00:51:22 You got drafted. Yeah, you're just starting to pop. Bro, dude, this is the time when you catch a freaking sex charge and you went the other way you ain't gotta do that you went the other way though you don't say no yeah yeah i went the other way now i got a great girl man i got where'd you meet her at uh instagram she dm'd me hell yeah oh she dm'd me like you're so funny what did she say honestly can you share with us yeah forget i mean i could probably look and see it but she was just like, how are you doing a show anytime?
Starting point is 00:51:48 You know, I don't think you're funny or something like that. Oh, God, that's nice of her. But she was like alpha female about it. She wanted- She knew what she wanted. Yeah, she just went for it. She's just fucking dope. No, I got super lucky.
Starting point is 00:51:57 And how'd you propose? We went to this, it was like her favorite restaurant, and I just got down on one knee and then- In the restaurant? In the restaurant In the restaurant During the middle of COVID I had to let my boy leave My boy just happened to be
Starting point is 00:52:08 Eating there with his girl That he hasn't proposed to yet Living together for like Three years or shit Oh come on And so I see him there And he sees me there And he's giving me this look like
Starting point is 00:52:17 Oh you're not gonna do it Yeah bitch And I'm like You better get You got 30 minutes Wrap it up Wrap it up I can see that fucking bill drop
Starting point is 00:52:24 This thing is burning A hole in my pocket. Get the fuck out of here. You're like, y'all just got salads? You better fucking figure it out. Entrees. Fuck them apps. You better get out of here, man. Somebody better get sick all of a sudden because you got to fucking roll.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Dude, that is damaging to so many people. You never even think about that. If you're going to do that, the people around you. You're ruining their night. Put some pressure on them. You're ruining their night. Imagine they're there together for like four years. God If you're going to do that, the people around you. You ruin their night. Put some pressure on them. You ruin their night. Imagine they're there together for like four years. God, you're a good guy.
Starting point is 00:52:48 I've been like, fuck that, dude. I mean, that's the homie. Oh, he's super close right now. Yeah, yeah. My boy Francis. Francis Ellis. Comic, funny guy. Yeah, Francis Ellis, dude.
Starting point is 00:52:56 He does that show in New Jersey with me. Yeah, he loves you, man. He's great, bro. Yeah, he's great. He's great, man. He's like really, he's kind of. He should start taking his relationship seriously though. Yeah, he really should.
Starting point is 00:53:07 You don't think his girl's seeing this? His girl? He should. I'm busting balls. No, let's talk about that now. And pull up a picture of Francis. Francis is a lot of like people that – this is like the kind of – if you think of white people, this is who people are thinking about.
Starting point is 00:53:18 I don't think I know Francis. Francis Ellis. Francis is great, man. And he did – look at him. Oh, I know Francis. He's from Barstool Well he was at Barstool And then he got fired
Starting point is 00:53:27 Because he wrote that blog Yeah He wrote a blog Well he didn't know He wrote a blog about Like that girl That was That was dead or something
Starting point is 00:53:35 But he didn't know She was dead Yeah Like she was just missing And he was like She was like a sugar girl Or whatever Sugar
Starting point is 00:53:41 Sugar baby So he was like Yeah you shouldn't be A sugar baby And then the girl Ended up being dead But he's writing This critical. So he's like, yeah, you shouldn't be a sugar baby. And then the girl ended up being dead. But he's writing this critical article. Like it's complete happenstance. He came out to L.A. for a while.
Starting point is 00:53:50 I remember seeing him at the store. I know Francis. He's great. He's he's fucking hilarious. Beautiful man, too. I mean, kind man. But also but also kind of a piece. Right.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I mean, a piece. He looks like from Love Island. He's like six six. Oh, he's a big man. Let's not go there. OK, let's not go there. I don't know if I would go six'6". Oh, he's a big man. Let's not go there with that. Okay, let's not go there. Yeah, I don't know if I would go 6'6". I would say he's probably 6'4".
Starting point is 00:54:09 I'm going to give him 6'4". Yeah. Maybe a 6'3". I would just say 6'3". I've seen the guy in person. Let's say this, bro. He could have played maybe third string power forward for Brown. Brown, yes.
Starting point is 00:54:18 That's where I'm going to go. Brown, yes. Athletically with him. Yeah. But he's a rower. Like, that's kind of the genealogy he's from. That makes sense. They have a small boat they take out for fun.
Starting point is 00:54:29 What a good guy for you not to fucking propose in front of his girl. Yeah, couldn't do it. Couldn't do it to the homie, man. That's a solid move, man. So do y'all have a place now? Y'all moving in together? How rich are you? I'm kind of rich.
Starting point is 00:54:43 I don't know. Not as rich as you guys, but I think I'm pretty rich. This guy is rich. You're really rich. Yeah. You know, you are probably pretty rich. I'm not. Yeah, but you've been getting, you know what I realized?
Starting point is 00:54:53 I think somebody's stealing my money. Don't let him fool you. Okay. He does well. He just doesn't like to spend any of it. No, but then you should be even more rich. That's how money works. Yeah, but he takes his checks and puts them in the back of his car.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Yeah, that's what I do. Yeah, I know that. That's how money works. Yeah, but he takes his checks and puts them in the back of his car. Yeah, that's what I do. I don't know anything about money. My friends, I have them in a group chat. They're like, Bitcoin's at $23. I'm like, I don't know what that is. I'm not investing in Bitcoin. I can't invest in anything I don't know anything about. You're a business guy.
Starting point is 00:55:16 You know what the fuck's up. I can make money off of things I know. Yeah. We built the studio. I had no clue how I was going to make money on it, and then a year later, we're shooting a Netflix special in the studio. That's how my brain works, right? If I know what I can build, we built a studio. I had no clue how I was going to make money on it. And then a year later we're shooting a Netflix special in the studio. But that's how my brain works, right?
Starting point is 00:55:27 If I know what I'm doing, I can monetize it. Well, you're investing in yourself. Exactly. I can invest in me, but if it's AT&T, I don't know what AT&T is going to do. And I get pissed off that I can't help it. You know what I mean? Like AT&T stock is going. You can only make so many calls, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:40 I want to call up AT&T and be like. Well, I'm the same. I only invest in my own shit. Okay, well, that's good. That works. But then again, I don't know. I only invest in my own shit. Okay, well, that's good. That works. But then again, I don't know. I'm like, I would love to be really smart about money, but I don't know. I don't want to spend that fucking time.
Starting point is 00:55:52 What are you wasted on? You don't drive any cars or nothing? Nothing. I'm wearing the same pants I wore on the special right now. Wow. Oh, that's great. And the same sneakers. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:56:00 And you have your own merch on. Yeah. You don't spend your money either. No, no. I mean, like, I'll go on a nice vacation. Yeah. I'll go to nice restaurants. That's how I'll spend the money.
Starting point is 00:56:09 But, yeah. Who's this little Vato? Fahim Anwar, dude. Who do you think this is? Is that Fahim? Yeah, it looks like Fahim. I wish. Hey, what's up, Vatos?
Starting point is 00:56:17 I heard you guys were looking for some culture in your corner, ese. This is the cats and Vatos corner now. I tried to get on Fools Gone Wild. They said, nah, Holmes, you're too short, ese. So I created my own shit. Vatos and cracos. That's the picture. This guy's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:56:40 None of my homies know about my little setup right here because it's too festive and they ain't with that gay shit. But I'm going to take a sip of my white claw. Because like they say, there ain't no laws when you're a vato. You guys say you want us to get down there on our own. But that's okay. Because I rob fools.
Starting point is 00:56:57 I'll rob a plane ticket. That's what vatos do. Amen, bro. If you guys want my assistance, send me a DM. All right, homes. I'm out. Later. Hasta Amen, bro. If you guys want my assistance, send me a DM. All right, Holmes. I'm out. Later. Hasta luego, papa.
Starting point is 00:57:09 Dude, it's these fucking netbangers and lames, bro. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hey, mom, we have any pizza rolls left? That was a good one. That was good. I like that. Bravo. What's his name?
Starting point is 00:57:20 I like all three of them. He deserves a shoutout. What's his name? Joseph Fontana. That was funny. Well done, of them. He deserves a shout out. What's his name? Joseph Fontana. That was funny. Well done, kiddo. That was good, man. Bro, that's total second generation Latino in America.
Starting point is 00:57:31 None of them speak Spanish anymore. It's all different. Everybody turns totally into just a freaking- He's also Italian. Yeah. He's also Armenian. He's England. I was just really racist, and we loved it.
Starting point is 00:57:46 I thought it would fit the show better. Dang, that's dope, man. That's good. I think Joseph Fontana's got to be in the lead. So are you guys going to hire somebody? What's happening? I just want to adjust. Cat and Chappelle are on Fighter and the Kid all the time,
Starting point is 00:58:01 so we're just trying to add in some, just diversify it. So you're going to get rid of them? them no are you guys assisting in but that's a good question this is what i was now i'm seeing myself oh so you would just get rid of these people because it sounds like that's what he's doing yeah right don't say me bro you know how do you say that to both of them? We need some diversity. They're the diversity. You're the white guy. A black guy? Why are you guys helping? But who's black?
Starting point is 00:58:31 Do you think Schultz or Chappelle? Put an IG swipe up. Put an IG up. It's got to be Chappelle, right? I don't know, man. I don't think so. I mean, yes and no. But yeah, but he.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Thank you for that. I appreciate it. Yeah, you're black. And I see that too, bro. I see that. Yeah. I see that. And I didn. Yeah, you're black. And I see that, too, bro. I see that. Yeah. But... I see that. And I didn't even know you were black.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Can I say one thing really quickly? Dustin Poirier has a hot sauce. And it's absolutely incredible. TBC is the promo code for 10% off. Dustin, the time in Poirier is a TBC. What is your promo code? We don't have a promo coming up. Bullshit!
Starting point is 00:59:06 You just owned some of the business. Bullshit! I just love the sauce, man. Look, you know what goes great with Dustin Boreas' new hot sauce? Andrew Schultz's new Netflix show. Let's go! The Theo Vaughn thinks it's a podcast. Are you going to have guests?
Starting point is 00:59:22 Yes. Are you going to have guests? They don't know shit about it, bro. Are you going to have guests? So you have guests. You have guests and you're going to. They don't know shit about it, bro. I literally just told them. I go, we script the whole thing like an essay. And he goes, so someone else comes on and reads it with you? You have guests during my special? Have you seen Netflix?
Starting point is 00:59:42 You have a special on Netflix. Y'all going to hell, bro. Y'all going to Hades, bro. Half of you, man. And you know who you are, too. What else we got? We got a couple more of these submissions. It's just Jordan Fontana, he really set the bar high.
Starting point is 00:59:59 It's okay. We'll just make fun of the other people's physical features. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. What do we got? What's up, King of the St people's physical features. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. What do we got? What's up, King of the Sting? Sergio, 22, from Arcadia, California, just southeast of Pasadena.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Yeah, I'm half Native American and Mexican on both my mom's and my dad's side. I play guitar, drums, bass, more recently piano. Yeah, I've lived in the whole life. My family moved from Highland Park to Arcadia a while ago. And then, yeah, I run two podcasts myself. Big fan of the show. I've been watching you guys for a long time. He looks like Jon Favreau and Sarah Silverman.
Starting point is 01:00:36 That baby? Yeah. Doesn't he? Who's Jon Favreau? Do you guys know Favreau? Yeah, I know Favreau. Swingers, dude. The director of Iron Man's.
Starting point is 01:00:45 This guy looks like he loses sleep over his pronouns at night. Damn. Zim, zur, zee. It's going to be zur. Zur is good. Dude, look at that. Yes. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:01:04 You crushed it. That was a good. Dude, look at that. Yes. Oh, shit. Yeah. You crushed it. That was a good one. Good call, Schultz. Fabro alone was good, bro. Sarah Silverman. He's a beast of a director. Yo, are you guys friends with Sarah? I like Sarah.
Starting point is 01:01:14 Can you tell her to stop doing all those Hollywood celebs, we're not racist videos? She shows up in every one. Oh, I didn't like her. She did a special whenever the election was going. She went to Louisiana toiana to see how people think i thought it was garbage she's funny though yeah no she's funny but like funny why is she doing every one of those she's like a funny comic like usually funny people don't do that funny people make fun of that that's i i sometimes i think some people get too far like in hollywood like too far left it's like that yeah they just want to be invited to the parties yeah they want to be invited yeah they want to be part of that like in Hollywood, like too far left. It's like that's what they do now.
Starting point is 01:01:45 Yeah, they want to be invited to the party. Yeah, they want to be part of that group. And man, that's a lonely world because that group's going to turn their back on you. And then you got to look at real comics, you know? I'm completely back at it. Oh yeah, naked. I'm naked.
Starting point is 01:01:57 I'm like naked. There isn't a man behind me. She got the heves though. Oh dude, she's body dog. She got the heves. She got the heves. She got the heves, baby. I can haves. She got the beefs, baby. I can't take anymore of this.
Starting point is 01:02:07 If Mark Ruffalo's in it, you know it's some shit. It's just like, hey, I'm rich, listen to me. I fucking hate that shit, bro. Do you like Borat? You know what? Keep that stat with me, though. The first one I like. Me too.
Starting point is 01:02:21 After that, I felt like it was just making fun of people and then hiding behind lawyers.'s there you go yeah which is the most ratchet shit i think you can look bro real talk oh i'm so happy because what he does is he just goes to like where you're from and goes look how stupid these people are yeah that's like his whole shtick yeah go do it in your hometown go do it in your fucking hometown where you came from and then he gets sued and then he goes yep but here's the thing what annoys me the most about him is that I'm fine if that's your prank show. Let's say you just have a prank show and that's what it is. Which he does on Showtime.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Yeah, but that's fine. And it's just a prank show. But then he got up in one of these fucking award shows and goes, I'm exposing racism and anti-Semitism. He went too far left. He went too far left. He just got on a pedestal and it's like, dude, you have the lowest brow humor, okay? And you're just making fun of people that were kind to you.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Literally, people are like, would you like to come in my home? And fucking him over, yeah. And then he just fucks him over. Yeah, fucks him over. So I'm just like, dude. It makes him look real stupid. You're a piece of shit. I didn't know it was like that.
Starting point is 01:03:16 I laughed at the movie and shit. People don't know. He goes to Louisiana. He goes, can I come into your house with a stupid accent? The people go, I don't even know who you are. He's anti-Christian. I feel like he's anti-white. I don't know. I don't know what his deal is, bro But yes, some of the shit on the back shit on everybody just mean Yeah, I mean thanks man, and I hate I just get off your fucking high horse
Starting point is 01:03:36 I stopped watching off the first one first one. I was a guy. I'm but Ali G was good man I'll do is really leave a bullet, but he was different then dude. I love the movies It he was different then. Dude, I love the movies. And I'm fine with you having the prank show. If you just come out and go, yeah, I'm a piece of shit. I prank people. That's fine. I'm totally fine with that. Great.
Starting point is 01:03:51 Awesome. He's trying to act like he's a good person. He's acting like he's saving the world. No, he's acting like he's bringing light to, you know. He has a fucking charity called Stop Hate for Profit. Your whole show is hate for profit. You're correct. That's what you do.
Starting point is 01:04:07 It's correct. That's his career. You profit off of people being bigoted that you force them to be bigoted. Yeah. True. I just know that you like... And how bigoted is it to go to a place
Starting point is 01:04:19 and then be mean to people? But no one asks you to come? Yeah. But how nice are these people to let them into the homes and their businesses? You're taking them as your kind people. But no one asks you to come? Yeah. But how nice are these people to let them into the homes and their businesses? You're taking them as your kind people.
Starting point is 01:04:29 It's unbelievable. And then he asks them the inflammatory questions. Basically, go in their bathroom, he shits in a bag and he runs out of their house yelling,
Starting point is 01:04:36 you hate black people. All he does. What are we even talking about? And the guy thinks he's some fucking genius. He stinks. Yep. I'm with you.
Starting point is 01:04:44 That's crazy, genius. He stinks Fuck yeah, this is different because they're coming into our house and we're lighting them up so We believe in hate to profit this news still trying to get on cats yeah, Wade Robson bro let him Do you made us mean today. Oh, this is shit. Do y'all remember Wade Robson at that show where he was, like, judging people that were going to be dancers? It was on MTV. Do you remember this? Yes.
Starting point is 01:05:16 Oh, dude. Damn. Man, I shouldn't have said that, man. No, you should have. That's a good one, man. Bro, that was classic. Come on. That's great. Eyebrows exactly the same. I don't trust said that, man. No, you should have. Exactly. You should have, bro. That was classic. It's spot on. That's great.
Starting point is 01:05:25 Eyebrows exactly the same. I don't fuck with him. I don't trust him either. What? I don't fuck with him either because this dude- He got his pipes cleaned by MJ. That's why. No, he didn't.
Starting point is 01:05:34 He didn't. He got slow stroke. You think he did? And then Michael Jackson was launching, his family was launching a show in Vegas, and he went to him and was like, hey, I want to help out. And they're like, no, we're good. We got people. And then he started bitching.
Starting point is 01:05:46 And then he did the documentary. Oh, really? Yeah, after they turned him down. That's fucked up. Yeah. MJ gave him his career. This guy has no career if MJ doesn't say, hey, you're really good at dancing.
Starting point is 01:05:55 And when he was in Perth, Australia. Since he was a kid. Yeah. Let's look at this sexy son of a bitch. As you may have heard, I'm running from my chair on Culture Corner. Why you should go for me? Simple. Because I may look Mexican, but I'm actually not.
Starting point is 01:06:17 Why else? Who else's ink do you want to sink while ripping their drip? Damn. Whose ride do you want to sink while ripping their drip who's right do you want a child you can't clown my hound but you can roast my wolf oh damn that's Jack London You say the word. I'm on my way. Gang? Gang, gang. Aw. Bye, bye.
Starting point is 01:06:49 So cute. Aw, dang. Aw, he saved it with that. He saved it with that. I was about to go hard. He's from my hometown. It was about to be Haymakers. You're from Mesa? Yeah, I'm from Mesa, yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Oh, shit, okay. Man, that's awesome. Beautiful. Yeah, good for him. Wade Robson, bro. Look at that soul patch. That was a choice. The whole get-up was a choice.
Starting point is 01:07:07 The ears, the earrings. Yeah. You don't think Jackson did anything to him? Wade Robson? No. You don't think? Did you think he smoked out any of those kids? No.
Starting point is 01:07:17 Nothing at all? He smoked out, but no. Don't say smoked out. Why? It makes you feel weird. Bro, I got to tell this story. You should make it feel weird. I got to tell this story. It says smoked out. Yeah, but smoked out is better than banging. Yeah, you feel weird. Bro, I got to tell this story. It should make you feel weird. I got to tell this story.
Starting point is 01:07:26 It says smoked out. Yeah, but smoked out is better than banging. Yeah, you're right. It is, Brendan. Smoked out's weird. What if somebody said, hey, you want this brisket? We've been banging it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:36 If someone said, yo, this brisket is banging, I'd be like, dude, get me some of that. But this brisket got smoked out. Okay, what else should we say? What is better? What is better for like- Yeah, so smoked out. How would you rather us talk about kids getting fucked? You don't think you touched those kids?
Starting point is 01:07:49 Touched is weird. Touched is better. Touched could be anything. Tag, meeting, you know, accidentally bumping into somebody at the mall. No, not if you're like hanging out. What if he's rinsing kids' cheeks? Holy shit! That's kind of what's happening.
Starting point is 01:08:02 That's better than smoked out. Okay, fair enough. Who's blacker? 75% pink Schultz? I don't believe it, Chappelle. I don't believe it. I thank you for that. I think you got this. Amen.
Starting point is 01:08:15 That's what I'm talking about, dude. I watch his show. No cultural appropriation, bro. None. We don't believe in cultural appropriation. I agree, bro. Actually, what's wrong with cultural appropriation? I'll do a little, but I ain't doing a lot bro you feel me you do a little bit you're
Starting point is 01:08:28 doing just enough to keep your career no i mean i'll fucking you know roll down the windows and fucking you know live my life a little and shit like what in nashville you can do that you know but i won't do anything real real crazy yo what up king in the sting it's your boy pariah p aka pariah like mariah with a P. And I'm here to explain why I would be the best guest for the Culture Corner. So basically, I know this show is obsessed with white rappers, and I'm a white rapper myself.
Starting point is 01:08:52 I was hand-selected to open up for Doja Cat. Brandon, I know that you're somewhat of their favorite artist. Is Doja Cat. I've sold out multiple venues here in Phoenix, Arizona. She felt lazy. What's up? Mesa, salute. Pressing ballroom.
Starting point is 01:09:03 Pub Rock Club. Ryan Nonquito. I know that you have Polish, man. I'm fully Polish, bro. She fell a strike or what's up Mesa salute Ryan non-keto Know that you have Polish man. I'm fully Polish bro. Both my parents were born in Poland Okay, and cat now saying cat is just a gorgeous woman Asian women are kind of my That's my weakness Nick. I know you lived in your car for a minute. I was couchsurfing like all 2018 So let me know for a minute. I was couch surfing like all 2018. So let me know. I can easily be the best. He's connected, man.
Starting point is 01:09:25 I love it. I like this guy. It's real, man. I watch your guys' show every single week, so just let me know. Hey, man, bro. Nice young man. I just like him. He's sweet. He is. There's something nice about him. There's Ryan Cabrera right there, man. He just got engaged actually. To whom? Did he?
Starting point is 01:09:41 That boy got makeup on like a motherfucking picture. To Alexa. She's a wrestler. WWE. To whom? Did he? He is engaged. That boy got makeup on like a motherfucker in that picture. To Alexa. She's a wrestler. WWE. Alexa Bliss? Alexa Bliss. Yeah, that's right. They just got engaged, man. He's a nice guy, bro. He's a sweet guy? He is, man. You know him? I've been to a ton of parties and stuff with him over
Starting point is 01:09:57 the years. Yeah, he's a nice dude, bro. Weird. Weird. Nice man, bro. Look who you introduced me to. We guys smoked. We guys smoked. We're in jail now.
Starting point is 01:10:08 We guys smoked together. Okay. What about your little jailbird friends, okay? Dude, well, I didn't know you and Brian Cabrera were fucking best friends. My bad. We're friends. We're adults. He's in full fucking makeup in that picture.
Starting point is 01:10:23 That's not him. That's Alexa Bliss. No, go back to where he's in the set of Twilight. The set of Twilight. Bro, he, um. Are you crazy? Yo, dude. What is happening, bro?
Starting point is 01:10:39 That's the set of Twilight, son. Is he getting all offensive? He's our guy's fucking guy, man. And he has smooth skin. Y'all need to chill the fuck out. What is the hair, dude? Can we call him and just ask about the hair? He's that hair crow, bro.
Starting point is 01:10:54 You know what I'm saying? Chris. Chris Angel. There ain't a bird getting in the garden around that fella, bro. Dude, you know he dated, remember he dated Jessica Simpson's sister. Do you guys remember that? Yeah, I just said that.
Starting point is 01:11:08 Yeah, I think you said it. You did? Yeah. Ashley Simpson. Does this work? What is going on? Yeah. Man, Ashley Simpson had that beak.
Starting point is 01:11:17 Oh, she's married to Diana Ross's kid. Yeah, she had that beak forever, then got the nose done. Oh, she got the nose job. Yeah, she looks bad now. Look at that. Who's that? You know what that is? That's a guy from Kid and Play, dude.
Starting point is 01:11:27 Don't fucking act like you don't know who that is, bro. He was in the movie Atlanta. Kid Craddock. Evan Ross. Or he was in the movie ATL. I don't know who he is. Evan Ross. But he looks lost.
Starting point is 01:11:36 Diana Ross' son. Dude, that's Lester Holt, bro. Y'all fucking... Y'all out here slipping on Lester, dog. That's my boy right there, bro. That's a look right there. But Ashley Simpson kind of turned into a little piece. I told you she got that beak done and boom.
Starting point is 01:11:52 Yeah, you could really carve yourself into something. I thought she was pretty before. I thought I liked that beak on her. Oh, you like the beak? You're a big fan of beak? I mean, I got a beak, bro. So I got a beak. You don't have a beak, bro.
Starting point is 01:12:02 You don't have a beak, dude. No, I got a fucking beak. You got a potato. You got a potato. You got a potato. That's a beak. That, so I got a beak. You don't have a beak, dude. No, I got a fucking beak. You got a potato. You got a potato. That's a beak. I got a beak, yeah. Mine's kind of a mix of both. You're fine, bro. Don't try to fit into the fucking big nose group.
Starting point is 01:12:16 You have a wide nose. Bernard's old text me like, I think you have small shoulders. I'm like, bitch, who gives? You're fucking out of your mind. He always tries to fit into these different groups. Dude, I'm like, bitch, who gives? You're fucking out of your mind. He always tries to fit into these different groups. Dude, I'm not trying to fit into your group. You built like my aunt.
Starting point is 01:12:34 You're just jealous I went freaking skiing and you didn't go, you freak. You hit them slow beats. Come on, bro. Full circle, dog. Come on, dude. Don't full circle. Full circle. Come on, dude. Don't full circle. They don't have a full circle. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:48 Jesus. Jesus. Come on. You messed up, Brendan. Brendan. Damn. I'm sorry. So racist.
Starting point is 01:12:58 Theo rubbing off on me, dog. Theo rubbing off on me. Theo's nasty. He's doing the racism rubbing off on me, dude. You changed. At least he's doing the rub off on me. I didn't do nothing, bro. You're doing some racism rubbing off on me, bro. You changed. At least he's doing the rub off, not the... Yeah. You changed, man.
Starting point is 01:13:10 Guys, this is unbelievable. This place is bad, man. I'm okay in this thing, Schultz. I know. Y'all different. What else we got, Nick? Oh, the Christmas gifts. Damn, Nick.
Starting point is 01:13:19 Oh, yeah. Are we going? What are we doing? What are we doing? Yeah, Schultz can start. I open... Yeah, you open your gift. Oh, so this is the gift.
Starting point is 01:13:26 Okay. So this is my gift. This is part of my gift, right? This is it. It goes live to make people laugh. I can't read. That's fire. Thank you very much. Can you show the camera?
Starting point is 01:13:35 Can you show the camera? Okay, I'll show it to the camera. Sorry. Which one am I? This one. This one here. Look at that. Oh, that's a bad one.
Starting point is 01:13:41 That's cool. There you go. Who brought that? I did. Aw. Thank you, man a bad one. That's cool. Who brought that? I did. Aw. Thank you, man. Someone mailed that to me. I have no clue who sent it to me either.
Starting point is 01:13:50 But thank you. This is a lot of smoothie mixes. Oh, that's athletic green. Promo code cats. They gave us so much. If you want more promo code cats, liquid IV, stay hydrated, dog. You and your girl in Hawaii. There's one more thing.
Starting point is 01:14:05 This is Dustin Poirier's. Dang, I wish I could put some. I'm going to open mine now. I got these, baby. Somebody gave me this. Oh, damn. That's mine. Oh, God, baby.
Starting point is 01:14:18 So I. Damn, baby. In the punk rock world, we used to wear bullet belts. That's a belt? Yeah, that's a belt. You don't wear it around your neck. You wear it around your hips. Damn, Hot Topic was open during these hours?
Starting point is 01:14:31 Hot Topic, bro. Those are real bullets, so be careful. So don't get too hot in those. Are these 44s or something? I don't know. My buddy gave me that back in, like, 09. What does it say on the bottom? 48?
Starting point is 01:14:44 That's dope. I wish we would play this white elephant yeah i know yeah that's actually yeah yeah open this one head is shot let's go shabaang what's this anyone got keys get in there yeah what'd you get man What'd you get, man? This one's for me. This was your gift? Yeah. Is that another 3D gift? I know, good luck.
Starting point is 01:15:10 And we got Christmas bonuses for everybody on the show too, so we just wanted to let y'all know that. Awwww. Fucking sick. Who said fucking sick? Nick. He said fucking sick. Nick's all about goddamn time. He's like, nah, it's cool though, man. Oh, this is cool. Show us, Prince. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:15:26 That one chip challenge. What is it? The hottest chip in the world. Have you ever had one of these? Oh, I don't do that shit. That'd be a great ending. I don't play that shit. You want one?
Starting point is 01:15:34 You want to go? I do not play that shit. You like views. I do not play that shit. I do like views. Are you trying to go viral? No. You're trying to go viral.
Starting point is 01:15:41 I am not going to wait. Can you do it? Alex can eat spicy stuff. Do you want to try it half half half i wouldn't even have the little tiny little piece come on al take a bite of it come on now come on come on come on now yeah i'll direct it now i'll directed it i'll directed it yeah al with this is his first directorial debut was a netflix special yeah oh hell yeah man congratulations good man al can we have al yeah yeah al come sit right here His first directorial debut was a Netflix special. Oh, hell yeah. Wow, man. Congratulations. You crushed it, bro. Yeah, good shit, man. Al, can we have Al?
Starting point is 01:16:07 Yeah, Al, come sit. Right here. No, no, you're taking a bite out of that. Come on, dude. We got to do what we have to do. Hey, I'll give you this. We've all done it. To be honest.
Starting point is 01:16:16 The fit is clean, bro. The Pine Jordans? Come on, son. Come on. I'm going to be leaking out my ass later. No, you're not. No, you're not. Hey, don't touch your eyes or anything after.
Starting point is 01:16:24 Yeah, don't. I'm not having any of it. No, I'm not having any. No, you're not. No, you're not. Hey, don't touch your eyes or anything after. Yeah, don't. I'm not having any of it. No, I'm not having any. Yeah, I already did. Yeah, direct us through this, bro. Yeah, direct us through this. Yeah, I would just. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:37 Real quick. Real quick. Who's this from, Chip? Here we go. Here we go. Alex Media has taken down the hottest chip in the world challenge. Here we go. Alex Media has taken down the hottest chip in the world challenge.
Starting point is 01:16:51 The real challenge is not to have any fluids. That's what the TikTok is. Yeah, you can't have any fluids. It's that ride, man. You're a guest, so do whatever you want. We're not TikTokers, so do your thing. Now, wipe your hands before you touch your face. You don't want to get that. It's not bad.
Starting point is 01:17:01 It's just a ride. Yeah, it's like. It's not fun. You good or what? that. It's not bad. It's just a ride. Yeah. It's like. It's not fun. You good or what? Yeah, it's not fun. It's not fun. Me and you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:13 No, it's no pump. It's no pump. That was insane. You okay, dude? Yeah. Can I drink water now? No, you can't drink water. Yeah, you do whatever you want, dog.
Starting point is 01:17:19 You all right, man? Can I do like. I can't believe you put that on it, bro. Is it crazy? Put that on it, bro. Yeahultz put that on it, bro. That's crazy. I drank fucking room temperature milk to get over it, and I got real sick. Yeah, the milk was the bad choice.
Starting point is 01:17:32 Yeah. What else we got, Chappelle? Did you open yours up? I got Chin's. Just opened it up. Okay. He re-gifted. I got myself 3D printed.
Starting point is 01:17:41 Okay. From last year. From last year. Okay, Chin. That's awesome. That was a good gift. Yeah, I'm glad I got that. Is last year. From last year. Okay, Chen. That's awesome. That was a good gift. Yeah, I'm glad I got that. Is he crying?
Starting point is 01:17:48 Is he crying? He's crying, bro. Oh, it's hot. He's crying. I can't believe you took that much. Shaq couldn't do that, right? Didn't Shaq start crying? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:17:55 Did he do it? Yeah. He still cried. You cried on that? I think I did. But I cry usually every other episode. I panicked. At first, I panicked.
Starting point is 01:18:04 Is it still there? It is. It's not going is it still there it's gonna be about an hour yeah sure and then 20 minutes you're gonna get a second hit no it comes back strong and then when you hit that toilet son that's not true I think you're gonna be fine and I think these people are overreacting oh you right you're going to be good, though. You're taking it like a champ. Oh, you're right. Deal. Then eat one. No, it's just white people trying to scare you, bro. That's what it is.
Starting point is 01:18:28 And we've seen enough of that shit, I think, in this fucking country. We have with this COVID shit. Yeah. Chappelle, you got one? You got one? Oh, yeah. This one. Oh, man.
Starting point is 01:18:36 This one I brought for you. Oh. So in the Asian community, we hate the sun because we don't want to age, and we wear these visors. Hell yeah. Wow. So you're going to look like every old Asian lady in the park doing Tai Chi. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:50 Super Asian gift. That's fire. Super Asian gift. Light it up. Oh, that's fire. Damn, bro. Damn, dog. Weld some jewelry, son.
Starting point is 01:19:00 That shit's dope. Dude, you got to fucking work with Nelly now. Yeah. You fucking got to get in there, dog. I know it's dope do you gotta fucking work with Nelly now? Yeah? I know it's fucked up That's gonna introduce you to her family And it is... Does it feel good? It's tough. What'd you get, Chin, bro? It was numbing, man.
Starting point is 01:19:28 I have an AMC gift card. That's from Andrew Schultz. $25. There you go. Hey, Kat, have fun in the movies in 2022. There's going to be some good stuff coming out. Look for the Avatar 3. Will you have a special by then so I can go watch it?
Starting point is 01:19:47 Yes, it will be in theaters. It will be only in theaters. Kevin Hart style. Switch it up. They zig, you zag. Hey, I can see that being a thing where specials, the first place they come out is maybe in a theater. Remember when Martin did that back in the day when we were younger?
Starting point is 01:20:00 Yeah. Martin had one come out. Eddie did probably. He did that in a long time. Kevin Hart did it a year ago. Oh, that's right. Even a few years ago. When we were in high school when we were younger. Yeah. Martin had one come out. Eddie did, probably. He's done that a long time. All right, Chin, last gift? Kevin Hart did it a year ago. Oh, that's right. Yeah, no, even a few years ago.
Starting point is 01:20:08 When we were in high school, he did it. No, he did it a year ago, though. He did it twice. He did it twice, yeah. Okay, what else? Oh, damn, Chin also gave me pretty dope earbuds. Oh, that's cool. That's nice of you, Chin.
Starting point is 01:20:19 This is like Michael Scott bringing that iPod. Coming through, bro. And sardines and ramen. And sardines and ramen and sardines and ramen oh yeah that's a dowry kid in Asia he may Sony give that in Asia yeah dude that's fucking hell yeah you get two bitches you give that in Asia I do would you get? Thank you, Brennan. His CBD company. Promo coach. What's up, dog? Big boy clothing.
Starting point is 01:20:48 Yep. That's not the new new, but it's cool. That's overstock, but. Kratom. Kratom. Me and Chin are addicted to Kratom. Yeah, we are. So I got him that powder Kratom.
Starting point is 01:21:03 Kratom is a supplement that's supposed to help your brain. How would you describe it? How would you describe it? How would you describe it, Chin? It's just a powdered leaf. It's from a tree. It was used in Thailand for thousands of years. They say it's kind of like the FDA wants to stop it
Starting point is 01:21:17 because it gives some sort of an opiate type of effect. But it's supposed to be safe. It's natural. Me and Chin like to get high. But it's actually really good if you want to use it for pain and for you know, I take you before I go stage It's like CBD all the time and they just have to take it every day. Otherwise you go through violence
Starting point is 01:21:35 Yeah, that's the party people some people do but then that's why you gotta just watch yourself violent withdrawals That's gonna just don't do it if you don't need to Brennan's next comedy show That's a great special Violent Withdrawals. Or just don't do it if you don't need to. Brennan's next comedy show. Violent Withdrawals. That's a great special title. Al, was it hard to do? What was it like directing the special? Take us through some of that, man. It was scary. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:53 I've never been on a production of that size before. Now there's going to be an onslaught of shitty comics hitting you up to direct their specials. Good. Get that money, Al. Yeah, good. Why not? We got to do it now. He did a great job. What's up, to do it now. He did a great job.
Starting point is 01:22:05 What's up, everybody? Holla. He did an amazing job. He also edited the special, and he learned how to use Premiere, which we edited on, eight days before we actually did the special. Wait. Hey, Shultz. Because he had his own final cut.
Starting point is 01:22:18 Oh, because you were doing final cut. Because it's easier. I don't know. You explain it better. Just for a podcast. It's like a faster turnover, and so I just do most of my editing there. Schultz, did you help with the editing? It's the worst part of a special.
Starting point is 01:22:29 These guys are the experts, but I sit in. But you want to see it. Yeah, I have to see everything, and Mark as well was editing. There was this guy named John Raffinelli. We got to shout out this guy. He was absolutely amazing. He's not part of our team, but I literally was telling the production company that we hired that we were going to steal him
Starting point is 01:22:42 because he was just so dedicated to it. It was unbelievable. Yeah, man. But yeah, they both worked off of Premiere, in the production company that we hired. We were going to steal him because he was just so dedicated to it. It was unbelievable. But yeah, they both worked off of Premiere and they would fucking kill it. And I basically get to go in and sit in and say, I think I like this a little bit more. Why don't we try this, that, the other? But I mean, these guys just murdered it.
Starting point is 01:22:56 It was great. But imagine eight days before just to learn Premiere. I'd walk into the editing bay and he'd have one screen up and it was just YouTube, like how to do something. And then he'd fucking do it.
Starting point is 01:23:07 That grassroots nature, man. I love that, man. That's been a theme of yours the whole time, bro. You got to invest in your people, bro. Amen, dude. No Christmas bonuses, but you got to invest in your people. We didn't get no bonus. I love my team, though.
Starting point is 01:23:22 You directed a Netflix, man. I know. I can buy it. That's what you get, bro. Andrew, thanks so much for team, though. You're directing a Netflix movie. I know how to buy it. Andrew, thanks so much for coming, man. Merry Christmas to everybody out there. I'll be in Palm Beach, Florida, Palm Beach Improv. That is December 29th through January 2nd with the squad. And then Thick Boy Smiley Gear just dropped, thickboy.com.
Starting point is 01:23:41 Yeah, January 15th, I got that live show with Chelsea Lynn that we're going to do, so you can get a ticket to that now. And then let the fans know that I'll be co-hosting the episodes for the month of January, yeah? Oh, yeah, and Brandon will be co-hosting the episodes. Tim Dillon, we got some other fun guests for you. Tim Dillon, Chris DiStefano, who almost made it, but his career just didn't happen for him. Chris roasted us on the last episode.
Starting point is 01:24:10 Yeah, he did. He sent in a video. What did he say? He was basically saying, I wish I'd gotten Rogan two years ago when you guys did. He's like, you got the exact time I'm still waiting to get on so I can sell tickets and shit. That's it. That's it. Thank you guys so much.
Starting point is 01:24:25 Andrew. Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate it, man. I feel like this whole thing's been a promotion for a special. Yeah, kind of. No, I appreciate y'all having me. Thank you, man.
Starting point is 01:24:35 Oh, we love you, man. And if you guys want, go check it out on Netflix. And if you don't, that's cool, too. Alex, get well, man. Good job, man. Congratulations on your first special, man. Yeah, appreciate you guys. Sweet. Brendan and Theo, fighter in weight. I i gotta go in and go hard in the paint i do not think i am in flow black rifle coffee i'm ready to go i need a sponsor i am a monster about to open up
Starting point is 01:24:56 with this at my concerts flow is contagious browser outrageous thicker than girls letter instagram famous damn hungry like i'm fresh off keto seeing red like andrew santino every song i Thank you. A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible Brennan's son hit me up He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up? King and the sting, ayy King and the sting, oh yeah
Starting point is 01:25:37 King and the sting, bee sting rat king Oh yeah King and the sting, ayy King and the sting Got the bees in the trap Got the bees in a trap Got the cheese on a string King and the sting King and the sting
Starting point is 01:25:52 King and the sting Bee sting King and the sting King and the sting Got the bees in a trap Got the cheese in a trap, got the cheese on a string.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.