The Golden Hour - Episode 106: Karen Von
Episode Date: January 29, 2021Erik Griffin joins the show with Brendan and Theo and the guys talk Trump's Pardon's, Doc Antle's Mansion Invite for the KATS Crew, Dustin Poirier's message to Brendan, Kohl's Jew...elry, Handsome Teachers, Ethnic Smells, Adult Baths, Stand-Up Comedy Fight Stories, All New Culture Corner Auditions and much more! Get 20% off kratom from Super Speciosa with code KATS at getsuperleaf.com/kats Kats Merch - https://KATSmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I don't like being in the tub as I get older, man.
I don't like it as much, man.
Also, when I was young, it's fun to lay in a tub and look at your body, you know?
It's not as much fun as I get older.
You know what?
That's a fair point.
He ain't lying right there.
That's why I put like two bath bombs in.
You can't see the bubbles.
I get out of the tub once it starts to dissipate, and I'm like, what is that?
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
Back off my broccolini get your life together it is don't touch me bro i'm not touching you yeah i think so because uh when you i don't know which way you came but when you pulled in
do you see the line of people from fucking that's chick-filago just lined up. Just the old people waiting to get the vaccine.
Oh, I didn't see that.
Down the freaking block.
Just heaven's doorstep.
Well, good for them.
I think they're trying to expand
the amount of people.
No, not the vaccine.
They're trying to expand who can actually administer it.
That's the real problem.
It's not that they don't have
enough it's that they don't have people they under the guidelines they don't have people qualified
to give that to stick that yeah so they're trying to get every look it could be like walmart cvs yeah
let's see this get on it yeah they got every look dude out here in tennessee the catniss everdeen
will give you that bro they got people They got people just... Yeah, fire away, dog. They got people giving that...
Totally kicking off Hunger Games?
We gonna start with...
I'm just saying, bro.
First and last name.
People giving that thing
however they want out here, man.
It's getting wild, bro.
They don't even know
what's going on outside of California.
Yeah, but when you leave,
just take a left
and you will see just oldies,
just silver here,
down the block.
So it's like voting.
They're taking up a lot of time.
It could be faster, but these old fuckers.
And they're patient.
It's cold out.
They don't give a fuck.
My parents already got it.
Oh, really?
Damn.
Pull that off.
Well, I think that because they had extras.
If they don't use it, they got to throw it away.
So when the frontline workers don't take it, because a lot of them don't want to take it, which is crazy, then they
go, they call
senior living places. Oh, and that's where
your parents are at? Yeah. Oh, damn.
Yeah, so they got the first shot. Your parents are in senior living, Eric?
Yeah, my parents are in like
this independent living place.
You know all the rich and famous got
it already.
The real famous people, you know, Justin
Timberlake had it already i heard sean
penn got i have no problem with that no no what are you gonna do yeah he employs a lot of people
yeah i mean what are you gonna do i mean the man makes great music i mean what are you gonna do i
mean how are we supposed to decide i heard sean penn has it has what he got the vac vaccination
because i think that obviously the no he got the vac he got the vaccination. The COVID or the VA got it? No, he got the vaccination.
And that Haitian dude, I heard he got it from Sum 41 or something.
What was that band with the...
Haitian?
Wyclef Jean?
Nobody was Haitian in Sum 41.
Wyclef.
Wyclef.
Refugees, my bad.
Yeah, the refugees got it.
Sum 41.
Sum 41.
I must have missed it.
I didn't know Wyclef was part of that band.
That'd be something 41.
It's the remakes.
I look like before and after being a little bitch.
That's what y'all look like.
Really?
Who's the after?
That's where we're going to go.
You look like you talking shit from a sequestered jail cell right now.
I don't even want to
Yeah the last set up I've seen this shitty was R. Kelly
Yeah
He looks like Snowden
You know what I mean
Like he's in like Ecuador
Or someplace
Cause he'll get arrested if he sets foot in California
You can't know where you're located
Damn bro It was gonna be Lil Wayne then Theo To get the Trump pardon You can't know where you're located? Damn, bro.
But Theo get a – he was – it was going to be Lil Wayne,
then Theo to get the Trump pardon.
He was next on the list.
He was next.
How did Lil Wayne get that?
It's either Joe Exotic or Theo.
Yeah, yeah.
They were like, damn.
It's like, oh, man.
They're both pretty gay.
Joe, Theo. I would not have been shocked like, damn. It's like, oh, man. They're both pretty gay. Joe, Theo.
I would not have been shocked
if Theo showed up on Joe Exotics.
I'm trying
to get on the news. They're making a TV show
with Nicolas Cage playing Joe Exotic
before what happens on Tiger King.
It's about him when he's growing up.
I'm trying to get on that show. How is Nicolas Cage
who's 85
going to play him when he he's young i don't understand
that like joe pesci i don't think it's a good idea to have somebody like nicholas cage who
already has like a reputation of like craziness yeah we have to play somebody because all we're
gonna see is nicholas cage yeah you're right i'm not gonna see tiger king i can't suspend my
disbelief i'm gonna see is this a nicholas Cage documentary? Also, how hard are we going to squeeze this Tiger King thing?
Oh, I've seen it.
I'm all set, man.
We know how it ends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought they were going to cast Dax Shepard.
Well, yeah, I don't know, but I know Nicolas Cage is playing Joe Exotic.
What do you think?
Do you think that Trump was close to pardoning Tiger King
or do you think there was no chance?
Do you guys have any intel on that?
They said he was thinking about it.
They brought it up at the meetings and shit.
Who knows?
Wait, but this guy who had a button for Diet Coke.
First of all, I want to be at that meeting.
Did they have a vision board up?
And it was like, Lil Wayne is up there.
Kodak Black.
Yeah, yeah.
Just all the old wives. And they were just like, Black. Yeah, yeah. Like who? Just all the old white people.
Yeah, and they were just like, hmm.
How did they decide?
How did he even come up?
I don't even understand how they –
Do you really think it was Trump that came up with these lists?
His son came up with it.
Wow.
His son's kind of in the –
Well, there you go.
In the known and brought up Joe Exotic,
and then I think Trump was like, all right, we'll think about it.
Did they really think about it?
They had some good cards at the end, though.
Remember, they had, I mean, Trump tried at the end.
He got Lil Wayne to vouch for him because Lil Wayne was trying to get a pardon, obviously.
So there was a tradeoff going on there.
That's obvious, I feel like.
But the Kodak Black one's weird.
Well, that's how you get your streets back, too.
You know what I mean?
What you mean?
Oh, yeah, I agree.
You're getting kicked out of office.
He was like, Lil Wayne.
You know what I mean? They like him, right him right he's gonna be in the next video that's
probably the deal right little wayne cat williams yeah why not he should have got r kelly out if you
really want to be this is what he's this is what he tweeted he could tweet from jail yeah oh he
has someone tweet for him oh i was too innocent and too gay well Well, I only mattered Don Jr.
When you need to make a comment about me to boost his social media post.
Boy, we're all stupid to believe he actually stood for equal justice.
His corrupt friends all come first.
This dude didn't even verify.
This could be some idiot with a fucking picture.
No, it's him.
He has some people.
You don't know that it's him, Brendan.
You don't know that it's him.
You guys aren't following him?
I'm surprised.
Yeah, you're right.
Seems right on brand for you guys.
Theo had his business partner on his show.
Who was that?
Who's the tiger dude you had on your show, Theo?
Oh, wasn't it the manager guy?
The guy that was running the place?
That guy was cool, though.
That's a cool dude.
Oh, no, no.
You had the other guy on. What was it? We had Doc Anil. That's a cool dude. Oh, no, no. You had the other guy on.
What was it?
Yeah.
We had Doc Anil.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're all a little too into tigers.
No, this guy.
No, Theo had the Mormon-type cult leader guy who would have a-
He was the fucking one of the girls.
Yeah, he had like seven.
You said the whole time Theo was like, and so then you did what?
And the tiger would cost how much a year exactly?
And then you had his son on too, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, his son is dope, man.
They're both dope, actually.
I think they run a good outfit over there.
If you want to do something, you want to make a sexy video,
everybody's been over there.
Shaq's been over there.
Russell Simmons.
Undertaker.
You don't know that.
Everybody.
The champ was in the video, in the interview the whole time, Theo?
Queen Latifah's been over there.
The chimp was in the video in the interview the whole time, Dio?
Queen Latifah's been over there.
King and the Sting crew has a standing invite to go to Doc Antle's reservation,
his 22-room mansion in South Carolina.
I'm not surprised.
And stay at his mansion?
Yeah.
With all them wild animals and chimp?
Yeah.
What city is it in?
Someplace in one of the Carolinas.
I don't know. I'm surprised Kid Rock's 50th birthday wasn't at.
That seems right in the line.
Limp Bizkit's Bar Mitzvah is actually there that Pio will be at.
Yeah, with a turtleneck on it.
A hot turtleneck.
Pio, this will make you happy, dog.
Look what I brought for your bitch ass.
Lay that money out.
Let me tell you, Eric.
Let me teach you a little something,
because I know that's your son right there with you.
What I'm telling you is, your son right now
is paying me $1,000
because he bet against
an American legend, Mr. Dustin
the Diamond Poirier, baby.
He bet it against him,
and he lost.
I lost. I told you it was going to be a close fight, though.
I told you it was even money, dog.
Is this fighting talk?
Okay.
This male toxicity.
Yeah.
Oh, you don't like the fights, Eric?
No, man.
I don't like violent sports like that.
I just can't.
Do you watch football?
I know football is the only violent sport I watch,
but even when something violent happens, I'm like, oh.
Turn it off?
Yeah, I just, look, when I see what happened,
when I see Muhammad Ali in his later years, I see that.
And I know that it's directly related to boxing.
Yeah.
I just think to myself, was this worth it?
Like all those guys, man, when you see them,
like Evander Holyfield and all these guys,
when they talk and it's just their faces all messed up,
and I go, was this worth it?
If you had to deal with, I'd deal with on a weekly basis from fighters,
call me, who have problems from CT.
That's what I'm saying.
So I just can't.
We're one step away from them signing a waiver that they could be killed
in the ring.
I mean, it's just we're so close to that.
I just don't like it.
Do you not deal with any of it, like movies, TV shows?
You don't like any of it?
I know the movies are fake, so that's different.
What about 300?
Would you watch it or are you going to just close your eyes?
That's a good point.
Listen, I didn't say I was against fake violence.
I'm against real violence.
What about my girl when a boy gets stung by the bees?
Can you handle it or you shut it down?
You know, I thought I missed Theo.
Coming in hot.
What about up?
What about up when the balloons take the house away
what are you doing
hey
you know you cried
at the beginning of up
don't act like
that didn't move you
what about
what about his soul
when he fell into the pothole
yeah
have you seen soul
you know what
you know you look
like the soul guy
here we go
I'm so tired of this
like hundreds of messages
on Instagram
like your new movie
you look good in this
I'm like oh oh my God.
But you could play the off-Broadway live play.
You could be the main character.
Way off-Broadway.
But this was weird to me.
I didn't know what it was about until like then it turned into like a death movie.
And I was like, oh, this is weird.
Yeah, my son was like, what is happening?
I'm like, I don't know, dude.
Let's put on Nick at night.
Yeah, but your son said that because it was like, is he black?
Why are they doing a movie?
Why are all of them black?
Yeah, because they're not used to that at Disney.
No, not at all.
But I want to ask you this.
So, Eric, there's definitely a big push nowadays if you see commercials or television or even drawings where there's a lot more black artists and black performers entertainers um working these days suddenly
every commercial everybody's mixed in it and they both brushing their teeth and everybody's black
you know but what i'm saying is do you know do you notice more work for you these days like uh
no because they don't have some diversity yeah that's a different they don't go mixed race they
don't go ambiguous race but when i see but by the way i was talking about this too because when i see this it just seems so transparent like it's hard to get past so many
years of everything being white and so then when you finally now you have it mixed you kind of go
what's going on here yeah why are they doing this yeah yeah you know so we'll get used to it and
then it'll be it'll just be commonplace and we won't think about it your dad or was your mom
my mom's my mom looks more like me my mom's fair-skinned you know but and i but i have an We'll get used to it. It'll just be commonplace and we won't think about it anymore. Was your dad or was your mom?
My mom looks more like me.
My mom's fair-skinned.
But my aunts look like Oprah.
You know what I mean?
I have a wide range of... Y'all got that buffet, bro.
Y'all got that real buffet.
So it is what it is.
I mean, I wish I would get more work.
Now, have you thought of darkening up a little time i'm getting the sun a little feel a little tanner darkening what and
what would that entail because charlamagne was dark you know you know what this reminds me of
this reminds me of i remember doing a commercial audition many years ago when I first started in the business. And the guy said to me after the audition, he goes, can you maybe do it more, hmm.
Urban?
Urban.
And I was like, I said, black?
You want it more black?
You know?
And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, like you got a bowl of weed in front of you and you go, swear to God, swear to
God, I'd never forget that.
That's what Theo just did. But you know I'm of weed in front of you, and you go, swear to God, swear to God, I'd never forget that. That's what Theo just did.
But you know I'm going to do that.
You ever think of blacking it up?
You ever think of blacking it up?
You ever think going darker?
Charlamagne from Breakfast Club went the opposite way.
He was really dark and then got money and got lighter,
which is a weird move.
Oh, he will be Asian in about six years.
Well, that'll be in.
They had their thing.
Well, Schultz might take his darkness.
Schultz might get darker.
That's true.
Shawn Mendes lighter.
Oh, Schultz is that dark hunter, bro.
He will really, he'll fucking take your darkness while you're sleeping, dude.
Dio, what are you going to do with this money, dog?
What are you going to do with the grand?
With that grand I got? Don't try sniffing it, daddy. Let me think what I like to do, dude. Deal. What are you going to do with this money, dog? What are you going to do with the grand? With that grand I got? Don't try sniffing it,
daddy. Let me
think what I like to do, bro.
Might get my face done or something. Might get a little
Botox, bro.
Botox? Why don't you
buy some of Dustin Poirier's hot sauce?
$1,000 worth of his hot sauce.
So I don't have to fight anymore.
I already have about $150
worth downstairs right now. Let me think what I'll do. You know what? I already have about $150 worth downstairs right now.
Let me think what I'll do.
You know what I'm going to do, man? I'm going to buy... I'm going to
donate $500 to the Good Fight Foundation
right now. So I'll put that
out there. And then the other $500,
I might get me a couple of necklaces
from Kohl's.
I still got this one, but I might get a couple.
So you still got $545
left.
Yeah, it's not going to save that too much.
$500 on a cold.
$500 on a couch.
What necklaces are you going to get at cold?
Y'all sleeping on colds?
Fine jewelers, bros?
You guys got to get over there, man.
Oh, man.
We got to get you back to L.A.
That Nashville vibe, man.
Y'all sleeping on colds, baby. Y'all sleeping on colds, man. We got to get you back to L.A. That Nashville vibe, man. Y'all sleeping on coals, baby.
Y'all sleeping on coals, daddy.
And they got jewelry for the whole family.
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You got 70% water.
You're like, damn.
You know, Larry's looking a little shorter than usual.
That's because you got low tide, brother.
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Oh, I got to send you my text too, Nick, that Dustin sent me.
Well, that was a nice flex right there.
Oh, they're tight.
They're tight.
I want to have Michael Chandler and Dustin Poirier on the next this past weekend hopefully calling in.
Here's what I got.
It's Sunday I got.
It's Sunday at 2.54 a.m.
It said, tell Brennan, B-R-E-N-N-A-N, he owes you some cash. Well, he's in Dubai, hasn't slept.
He knows how to spell my name.
That's true.
Look.
No, I don't think.
Look, and Dustin will be the first one to tell you,
spelling name really is fucking, you know, his forte, you know.
But he said, tell Brennan he owes you some cash.
Maybe that's what he said.
That's the dude you bet against.
Yeah.
Why'd you bet against him?
Yeah, it's a great question, Eric.
Thank you.
Why'd you bet against him?
I'm curious.
I'm closer with Dustin.
Because you were so confident on it.
I wasn't that confident.
I kept telling Theo, I was like,
Doug, if you're going to bet on this,
it's not bad to bet on Dustin
because Vegas has it three to one. This is a good fight, man. Conor hasn't fought that much, Doug, if you're going to bet on this, it's not bad to bet on Dustin because Vegas has it 3-1.
This is a good fight, man.
Conor hasn't fought that much.
Yeah, but you bet him.
Yeah, because it's fun for the show.
I actually want to bet him more, too.
And I was like, I'll bring cash, Doug, whatever you want to do.
All right.
No, I appreciate the bet.
Look, I need it.
That seems like a soft answer right there.
That seems like a backpedaling answer.
Yeah, a little bit.
Just say you think he's a bitch.
Just say it.
No.
Just say it. Just write on camera get it out there zoom him in zoom him in right now you didn't think he had it in him anymore no he was crazy dude did he he seemed angry after the
fights did you you sense that a little bit brendan yeah i think so the the disrespect right like
they're like oh we fight chandler next
he's like god what are we doing he's like challenged to be the guy i already beat you know
how the you look at my body of work it's like give me the goddamn belt and he's not getting paid
like the guys that he's fighting right so he fought khabib khabib made more money than god
poor he lost that fight but got paid shit he He fights Conor. Conor makes more money than God. Dustin gets fucked over there
again. So I think he's just sick of it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
But isn't it the business? Isn't that the
entertainment portion of it?
There's no fairness in it. Conor
McGregor's the name. Whoever he fights
is going to make a lot of money, right?
Yes.
There's fairness within. It's the same as comedy, like there's market value.
So how many tickets you sell on the road is how much money you're going to make.
I know, but okay.
You know what I'm saying?
So Conor sells on pay-per-views.
I don't know, but that's why he makes more money.
I know, but that's a good example.
Because what this guy is saying is, I'm funnier than that guy.
I'm clearly a better comedian, but the market value is this other guy. Yeah, they're saying you might be better. Right, right. That's what I'm clearly a better comedian, but the market value is this other guy.
Yeah, they're saying you might be better.
Right, right.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what it is.
More people are paying money to see this guy.
Right, right.
So we're going to pay this guy more.
So that's what I'm saying is he needs to understand that it doesn't work about –
like people don't get paid based off their skill value.
They get paid based off like whatever the thing is.
Yeah, and it's kind of a shame because the UFC is a sport
because in the NFL or NBA, if you're the best player in the game,
you're going to be compensated like the best player in the game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In the UFC, you're talking about real shit.
Or even for that team.
Real shit.
Yeah, but then does that mean that the UFC is not run,
say it's based more on that than it is like a fair and equitable way of doing it.
Right?
Yeah.
It's like there's a league and it's like you have seedings and it's like if you have this many.
They do, though.
Like Dustin Poirier is ranked number two.
Conor's number four.
But do they care about that?
No, not really.
Yeah.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
It's more ran like the WWE.
Shouldn't it be like a tournament?
Like it starts, there should be a fight season.
And then it's like you fight a certain number of fights for the entire year,
and then it's like, oh, we have the number one seed versus this,
and then they have a pot at the end of the year?
They do that in World Series.
Or was it PFL?
The PFL does that on ESPN.
Million dollar prize.
I never even heard of it, so that's why it's not popular.
There you go.
I was just going to say nobody knows what that is,
especially watching this show.
That sounds like a bad name.
Like the Filipino League or something.
It just doesn't seem.
I think he also said that they had two weeks where they were just sitting there stuck in that place, man.
That must have been so bad.
Well, you got a quarantine.
You can't leave the room.
Yeah.
And then it's the beach.
Was this on the island?
Yeah.
Was this the island?
Abu Dhabi.
The island's great.
What a good idea.
They can't leave, though.
I mean, the island's not this city block. I'm sure it's. Well, good idea They can't leave though I mean the island's not
This city block
I'm sure it's
Well no they can't
They can't even go past
They can't leave their hotel room
Oh
They're like stuck in there
Yeah but how much money
Did he get
750 I thought
I saw
Plus he'll get a bonus
So he'll make
He'll make over a mil
Okay so for a million dollars
You can stay in your hotel room
For a few weeks
Yeah I'll stay in my hotel room
Right
Yeah
You know it's not like
Cry me a river Andy's a champion's a champion 13 50 an hour yeah he ain't working at
coles in tennessee you know what i mean in the face so yeah this is great bro but hey man i think
they gotta give the man the belt who else is he gonna fight you know what i'm saying get pay the
man dana pay the man, Dana. Pay the man.
Let's see this Cats fan.
He was pretty hyped when Dustin got the finish.
Yo, Dustin.
Come on. Come on, baby.
Lock it up.
Lock it up.
Come on.
Hands up.
Hands up.
Come on, Dustin.
Yeah.
Who's saying hands up?
I told you guys. I fucking told you. I told you guys.
I fucking told you.
He's shirtless.
Wow.
You can't have your shirt on and fucking love Dustin Diamond Poirier.
I'm going to go ahead and say that right now.
Okay.
I was completely naked by the end of the fight.
I'll say that.
But that's just a Thursday for you.
Yeah, and I watched it at a bar.
And you know what?
On behalf of King and the Sting,
I'm going to take that $1,000.
I'm going to donate the whole thing
to Good Fight Foundation, man.
I'm sorry for being cheap, bro.
Let's go, baby.
Let's go, baby.
You're like, I'm going to donate $200
to Dustin Poirier Foundation. I'm like, thanks for helping. Bro, let's get Rocky let's go i'm gonna donate 200 to doesn't pour his foundation
let's get rocky out here fam look we got everybody getting these fucking vaccines we don't know who's
gonna make it who's gonna sprout a fucking clitoris off their back we don't know nobody
knows what are you one of those you want to know you think you'll get gills you want to know
they just made this shit in three months.
Bro, where they been making it at?
The lab.
The same place the virus came from.
Dude, the entire world science, the entire smartest minds in the world came together.
We need to work on this.
I think they can figure it out.
I'm going to trust those guys.
I hope they can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hope they can, but I'll tell you this.
I ain't going to be the first round of people to try it out, bro.
Okay?
Well, the first round's out. the first team's outside the door here.
Yeah.
The same people that are affected by COVID the most are the ones getting the vaccine first so we can kind of see.
Yeah.
Let's test it out right now with people's grandma.
That's how they're doing it right now.
Yeah, that is what they're doing, bro.
There's a lot of experience.
We're looking at Nana.
How you doing?
That chick feel pretty good.
And if we hear her go,
Ha ha ha!
Then we'll be like, nope.
I'ma wait for the second round.
I'm waiting for the third batch, man. That's what I'm waiting for.
I hope I get a tail out of it, dog. I don't give a fuck.
Have you heard about the vaccine chasers?
There's young kids, like you said, they throw them out at the end of the day if they don't fill them all.
So there's young people going to vaccine centers that are in underprivileged areas and just
camping out until the end of the day, hoping they get it.
And it's working.
So kids in their 20s are getting the vaccine.
They just want to get immune.
So they can start looking at toilets and shit.
Yeah, but I hope it's not like they're standing outside and the dude comes out, he throws
it in the dumpster.
That's exactly what happens.
And then these people are like, I'm going to go get it.
I hope the guy goes, all right, vaccines.
I hope they're doing it like that.
Yeah, that would be cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, like a donut shop at the end of the night.
Right, right.
You just put them out.
Just hand them to me, dog.
Don't make me get them out of the trash.
If they just put them in dumpsters, I'd be messed up, man.
It's like Fight Club.
You're getting the fat from the trash.
We got to start getting some of these chicks vaccinated.
We got to start getting some women vaccinated because I will say this,
and I'm going to be honest with you, brother.
A lot of women, Ben, you can't even find a woman out there nowadays.
You go door to door and all the bitches are hiding.
You know what I'm saying?
Nobody knows where the chicks are.
They hide and people say, oh, where the bitch is at?
And people say, I don't know.
So what I'm saying is we got to get these chicks vaccinated, get them back out there, man.
It sounds like you're trying to convince us to go gay.
No, bro.
I'm saying we're going to lose population, bro.
Yeah, whatever, dog.
What do you got, Nick? let's get in some debate club what's up it's mr a teacher out here in northern california
sitting in my classroom right now figured i have a debate club for you favorite book you ever read
in high school personally my favorite that hitter that og the original king in the sting of mice and men big
strong guy little guy out there doing work together hopefully with you two uh thea doesn't
take brendan to see the rabbits okay we know which one brendan just go ahead let me know what you
think long time fan really enjoy you guys you guys make me laugh all the time. Special shout-out to Kat, my stepmom, who I call my mom, the woman that raised me.
She's straight out of Vietnam.
So a lot of times you talk about that part of your background.
I totally resonate with that.
You too, Brandon.
I got two little boys the same age as you.
So I enjoy all those stories.
Wishing you guys all the best.
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
Take me to see the Wabbits.
Do your homework. Later. do your homework later do your homework
look i'm gonna say this out the gate man this man is a little too handsome bro no homo to be
working at a uh high school bro is it oh he did say high school because it looks like a college
bro you got to be a little ugly to work at his high school i think because otherwise you're
gonna end up in trouble hooking up with the kids that's what i'm saying this guy is it's really
you're gonna cause a lot of trouble bro you can't be handsome and be teaching at a high school dude
conflict of interest that's crazy bro handsome people do you have we had a teacher bro
i don't remember it like that me neither no. I see these teachers that are just slinging tits towards these kids.
We had Miss Garifola, dude, and she used to have that brassiere that locked the titties up.
You know what I'm talking about?
The brassiere that was like it started at the neck, bro.
It finished at the mid-belly.
Oh, yeah, like her chink and touch her titty?
Like, just like that?
Her shit was locked the fuck up you could see on
the back it had a little padlock on it that shit was you would never no one was ever gonna see her
tits you know god she was beautiful praise god uh so it's questions favorite book in high school
now my question is i'm trying to think high school no no but i'm i'm wondering for like reading for
pleasure or reading for –
I think his thing was like curriculum, the ones you're forced to read.
No, I don't even remember any books I read.
Or just your favorite.
But I think that's what he was asking for.
Oh, yeah.
What do you mean y'all don't remember any books, bro?
Are y'all fucking dumb, bro?
Yeah.
I don't remember the books.
I'm older than both of y'all, so.
But still, they haven't really changed the books. What's interesting is they make't remember the books. I'm older than both of y'all. But still, they haven't really changed the books.
What's interesting is they make you read the books.
Name a book, bro.
I don't even buy the book.
Name a damn book.
I read more books now, way more than I did in high school.
Actually, in high school, I read a lot of science fiction fantasy books for pleasure.
The book I remember reading is Dragonlance.
I remember that was the first book I read.
I picked up and I was like, oh, this is great.
I just read all of them.
I loved it.
Yeah, the books they forced you to read were never that fun.
Yeah.
What was it, like Fahrenheit?
What was it?
Yeah.
I remember, like, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
That was my jam.
I remember I got a little bit into that R.L. Stine shit.
Goosebumps.
Oh, yeah.
Goosebumps, dude.
That was last year, Brendan, when you got into that.
Yeah.
Theo, we're talking about school.
Why don't you sit this round out, huh?
Yeah.
He said, what books did your mom make you read, Dio?
He's all Spider-Man, Thor.
No coupons to the local Kohl's.
Hey, look.
Let me tell y'all some books because y'all obviously sleeping.
The Scarlet Letter, bruh.
Okay?
Yeah, I remember reading Scarlet Letter.
You had to read that. Brendan, letter bruh okay you had to read that
brendan the cliff notes you had to read those yep okay second of all what about that book how to eat
fried worms that was a good book you had to read as a child one of my favorites jonathan livingston
seagull bro about a bird that fucking um did his best also what about um what about My Side of the Mountain, one of the best books ever as a kid?
Type in high school books, Nick.
High school books?
They're still reading them today.
They haven't changed the curriculum.
It's all the same shit.
They need to switch that shit up.
Until somebody decides that the book's not good and then they get canceled.
Well, think about the history books.
We know the history that they teach is full of shit.
Oh, yeah.
Now the stuff is really full of shit, man.
Like Columbus, The Great Gatsby, Fire, To Kill a Mockingbird, Get a Little Old, Romeo and Juliet.
Lord of the Flies.
There's one right there.
Catcher in the Rye.
I remember Lord of the Flies.
Lord of the Flies was good.
They needed more chicks in it, though.
They did.
Catcher in the Rye, responsible for John Lennon's death.
Yep.
That's what they say.
What else?
Encyclopedias.
Macbeth was brutal.
Yeah, they don't even have those anymore.
Encyclopedias?
You guys even, like, who even goes to the library?
They got tablets. When's the last time, like, a kid today the library like a kid today homeless people went to the library never wait they're reading twilight
in school now why the fuck would they read twilight in school i guess that's what they're
doing hogwarts all that shit is popular in school now i used to love the movie days when we take
a week to watch malcolm x yeah i used to love that good old days
watching movies yeah they had a lot of good books when we was kids man um but my favorite was my
side of the mountain it was about a young man from new york he caught a bird and he went out there
sounder remember that book hatchet hatchet was tight hatch, dude. Someone looked up a list of books for this show.
You're not fooling anybody.
You see him looking down.
You know what I mean?
You see him looking down.
The re was cool.
The mice one.
Remember the mice one?
Mice of men's.
Why'd you put an S on the end?
Mice and men's.
You know what I noticed about him?
He takes S's off words that should have S's and puts S's on words
that
don't have S's
whatever man
y'all's a couple homos
it's Russell Simmons
with an S
yeah
but he goes
you know Russell Simmons
he just said
he just said
y'all a bunch of homo
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
praise God baby
and who's this
freaking diligent city worker right here?
This guy who obviously has all of his paperwork.
What up, Shaw?
What up, Dio?
Nick, Chin, Culture Corner.
I got a debate club for you.
Okay.
Oh, and before we get to that, Brendan,
am I not thick enough for the thick boy bite game?
No, you ain't, dog.
Let me know.
We're still reviewing your application.
So the debate club is them heavy equipment hitters with that AC, Bluetooth radio, backup camera, heater.
Or them on the ground Larry the Lock Splitteritter quitter labor hands let me know buzz buzz
so operating heavy machinery or manual that looks like your son eric that looks like your son
so everyone's my son now. Prolific.
I'm just out here.
But here's what I'm saying is you could do blackface and not get in trouble.
We would get in trouble.
And let's be honest, Brendan.
Brendan did a little of his house that one time.
For some reason, why don't you just go real dark?
Yeah, he wanted me to come in here Wesley Snipes style one day.
Your racism's showing out there in Nashville, Theo.
I'm not saying that, man.
I'm just saying you can if you want to.
We can.
Theo's got a paper bag next to his door,
and he holds that up to make sure.
How dark are you?
Are you paper bag dark?
Dude, he hung out with Kid Rock, and he's changed, man.
Yeah, you're different now, man.
We saw that party.
Living my life in a slow hell.
The white party, dog.
To answer that guy's questions, like, we're talking about bulldozers and shit?
That'd be fun.
Yeah, like, that's not even.
That'd be cool.
So you're saying you want me to lift the rocks myself?
Yeah.
Or be in, like, an air-conditioned with a radio and Bluetooth.
That thing was dope.
Listen to tunes, knocking shit over.
What kind of dumb choice is that?
Yeah, listening to some Sade and lifting the rocks up with the machine.
I say go hand, bro.
I like hand to hand type stuff.
I like stuff like origami, but with heavy paper.
So it's harder for your hands.
Or knitting with like a 50, 80 pound test yarn.
So it's tougher for your fingers.
You build some strength.
Hell yeah.
All right.
All that was gay.
Whatever, bro.
Darken up and come at me, fam.
What is up, King of the Stand broadcast?
This is Ian coming at you from Georgia here
with a debate club question for the Culture Corner.
Cat Chappelle. White people, do we have a smell?
Tom Segura mentioned this on your Mom's House podcast. They talked about it.
Miss Pat mentioned it on her podcast as well. Is there some truth to this or is it a cultural stereotype
that's persisted from generation to generation? I gotta know. So weigh in on it.
Debate it. Also, if you need somebody for the Culture Corner, let me know. I just graduated.
I don't have a job and you guys don't have enough straight white males on the podcast anyways.
Thanks, guys.
That's a fair point, young man.
Very good point.
If you're a different color, you'd probably be in.
He's saying that white people have a certain smell or white people that use wet wipes.
He's asking if white people have a smell.
Oh.
I don't know.
Do we?
Eric, what do you think?
I have – well. That's me. You might be smelling chin. mal oh i don't know i do do we eric what do you think i have i have well
that's me you might be smelling chin and nick's a certain kind of white he's from wisconsin so
they they're stinky and then nick smells like an indoor nick smells like an indoor white i feel
nick smells like indoor pool he's an indoor white so he don't have to have chlorine on him or nothing like that.
Yeah, Nick's not like indoor white.
There's a certain sense when you walk into
your friend's house in high school
or middle school, there's a certain scent
about maybe the food they cooked or the
deodorant. I don't know. It's always different.
If you walk through an apartment,
it's like all 70 different
flavors. I think this is just a silly joke
that's gone too far.
I think my friends that are white do smell different, though.
Because I'm not Asian all the time.
Do they smell like success?
Maybe we smell different.
You just smell like clean air when you go.
There's no kimchi.
There's no hot sauce.
There's no beef and broccoli.
There ain't pig feet in upside down it's like that's like ribs and make fries you know there's no incense burning it's like so it's that's all
that is yeah but but even if you go to like Chinatown there's a distinct smell
like a heavy smell yeah different cultures smell differently man I think
if you go into like a lot of Indian people's house, they smell real spicy.
Curry.
Or they smell like maybe kind of towels, maybe damp towels.
I think if you go by like a black person's, whenever I go into a black person's house,
it smells real warm in there or smell like bread maybe or like a slick or something real slick.
Treadlight there, buddy. bread maybe or like a slick or something real slick it's just like tread light there buddy
yeah i have a friend in high school or middle school he's uh from ethiopia like straight off
the boat ethiopia and he always had it was weird i remember i'd go over there to play
and he always had like raw meat in a bowl just like hanging out yeah so i'm saying
yeah it was weird like oh shit all that ethnic that ethnic stuff, you know what I mean?
It's like a wet market when you go to like...
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
It's just different in different places.
Like I said, some cultures, they use incense and they use like...
That kind of stuff has the smells.
There's some stinky white people, though.
There's a white...
Oh, yeah.
There's stinky...
B.O.'s definitely different.
There's stinky everybody.
Or like a white dude with dreadlocks, you know he's stinking.
Well, look, I think also here's the thing, though.
I think oftentimes one culture will smell different to another culture.
It doesn't matter who it is.
So I think sometimes you get some cultures a little bit more like they might smell a certain way.
Some people, if they have a pet in their house and the pet pees upstairs in the guest bedroom
and you don't tell anybody and you let them stay over there for a week and everything
smells like piss.
Yeah.
And that's not a white thing.
No, that's just a dirty thing.
No, but that's everybody.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
So there's different like-
If you got a grandparent, they might stink.
Don't people have a smell?
Yes.
Sometimes your grandmother stinks a little.
Yeah.
Older people sometimes have a smell.
But that's because they get older.
Yeah, my grandma's bitch is like this weird Rio.
Their skin is rotten.
Their bones is rotten.
She sweats.
You know what it is? It's like as you get older, you lose your sense of smell or Their skin is rotten. Their bones is rotten. It's weird, Leo. She sweats. You know what it is?
It's like as you get older, you lose your sense of smell or you get used to it quick.
So you don't care if you stink.
I'm learning that even myself.
I'm like, I got to go.
Well, I got to.
My girl makes me take a shower every night.
Damn.
That's the rule.
No matter what time it is.
Because you weren't doing it?
That's racist, bro.
I take a shower like, you know, in the afternoon or whatever.
Yeah, whatever.
Yeah, whatever.
Yeah, whatever.
I'm on a schedule.
And then she goes,
you need to take a shower
every night.
So then you don't notice
until you start to go,
what are you talking about?
Oh,
you know what?
Let me go.
Yeah,
you know what?
You just don't smell it.
But that's racist,
I feel like,
man,
making somebody
take a shower every day.
At her times,
it's a tight schedule.
Yeah,
it's a very-
I take it probably three,
four,
I take four showers a week,
man.
Adult showers.
As opposed to?
Baths?
Taking just a bath.
Who takes a bath as a grown man?
I'll tell you, bro.
I don't care what you say.
Gay men probably.
You take baths?
I don't care what you say.
Baths are disgusting.
I just moved.
I just moved.
I got a nice bath tub now.
So I'm in there lounging.
Really?
Yeah.
I love a good bath.
I got bath bombs. I throw them suckers in there. Oh, Yeah, I love a good bath. I got bath bombs.
I throw them suckers in there.
Like Ignatius Riley, dog.
I see your feet sticking out of the water. Yeah, because I'm so tall
that I have to bathe two parts of my
body at a time. So I start with the
legs and I get the chest.
Theo, you jump in the tub too?
I don't get in the tub, bro.
I'm a damn adult.
Eric sits down with the new dragon lance. First of all, you know Theo's in the tub. I don't even want to hear, bro. I'm a damn adult, man. Eric sits down with the new dragon lance.
First of all, you know Theo's in the tub.
I don't even want to hear him.
He over here front.
Probably on cameo in the tub.
He get that Kohl's oil.
The whole Kohl's kit.
Yeah, he got the whole bath kit from Kohl's.
You know you in that tub.
I don't like being in the tub as I get older, man.
I don't like it as much, man.
Also, when I was young, it's fun to lay in a tub and look at your body.
It's not as much fun as I get older.
You know what?
That's a fair point.
He ain't lying right there.
That's why I put two bath bombs in.
You can't see the bubbles.
I get out of the tub once it starts to dissipate, and I'm like, what is that?
Today's episode of King and the Sting is brought to you by the Kratom Experts.
I'm talking about that super speciosa.
That's right.
If you've never heard of Kratom, I stay on it.
Chin stays on it.
Theo tries to sniff it from Nashville.
It's a herbal supplement, kind of like CBD, but instead of coming from the cannabis plant,
it's from something close to a coffee tree.
People use Kratom every day. CBD, but instead of coming from the cannabis plant, it's from something close to a coffee tree.
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This guy's got another debate club.
It's a pretty easy debate, but he's quite the character,
so I wanted to play his video.
What up, what up?
Brendan and Theo.
It's your boy, Troy Walls walls coming to you from nashville tennessee
theo my neighbor you should have been here in the 90s your haircut wouldn't have been that unique
you couldn't throw a rock in any direction without catching a a mullet or a bolo tie
anyways got a debate club for you uh it was real steel. I'm on the road. I'm in the steel industry. I'm in sales.
Yep. Are you using that
Apple Maps, that
Google Maps,
or that Waze?
Also, shout to the Culture Corner.
My boy Chappelle, that rancid shirt.
Straight fire.
Get Tim Armstrong on the
podcast pronto.
Let's go.
Also, Kat, send Theo back with a pair
of them gym socks for your boy
when he comes back home.
I like this guy.
Gang gang, buzz buzz,
sniff sniff.
Honk honk, baby.
That boy be sniffing that dandruff.
The devil's dandruff.
He's on one, man.
He'll sell the shit out of the house.
Hopefully he's a politician.
So much to let him know,
Theo fired the culture corner for smelling funny.
No, I didn't.
But Chin, what do white people smell like, dude?
Tell us honestly, bro.
Quit fucking beating around the bush.
Quit beating around the fucking bush.
Is it like a musky kind of smell?
See? So it's not stinky, but musky. Like what do you mean? Like an musky kind of smell? See?
So it's not stinky, but musky.
Like what do you mean?
Like an older sofa kind of?
Yeah, yeah, like old furniture.
Oh, that's not good.
Like an old rug.
You're hanging around the wrong white people, man.
Do you clean your sofa?
Yeah, it's us, Brendan.
It's us, you idiot.
How often do you wipe down your sofa?
If you think about how dirty your sofa is.
That's why sofas get like that.
Yeah.
It's one of those things you don't think,
oh, I got to wipe down this sofa.
What was his debate club?
Waze, Google Maps, Apple Maps.
Not Waze.
Waze is fucking stressful, man.
This isn't fucking Grand Theft Auto.
Every time I want to run to the store and avoid some traffic.
Shit is so stressful.
Waze will take you through a funeral.
It'd be like, Ralph is dead in two miles.
What the fuck?
Why are we even going this way?
I just use whatever the regular maps is on my phone.
Is that Apple?
That's Apple.
I noticed with Waze, though,
I always know when other people are using Waze
because you're heading to a certain place
and you make a turn that you go,
I would never make this turn.
And there's a bunch of people there.
And there's three people making that turn.
And we always want to look at each other,
put up the W's, way, you know what I mean?
What's up?
What's up?
We're on a wage turn.
I know what you're doing.
So it's not necessarily a secret.
But I don't know.
I think Google's the best.
Yeah, it's like marriage not working out in 40 feet.
It's always like, what the fuck?
This shit seems real personal.
Yeah, it's exhausting. And it tells you where to
donate blood and where to get Arby's.
You leave Yelp reviews and YouTube comments
but the people are like, acting or cop
10 minutes
ahead and shit like that. Well, I do like that.
That's weird. I like it. Have you ever
done it though? Like, hey everybody, cop's out here.
I feel like I'm being a part of the community.
I'm part of the community. Like, if I drive
and it says... You leave Yelp reviews.
No, no, no.
But if it says,
there's a cop right here,
you bet you I'm putting that out.
I'm like, yeah, here's the cop.
The pig is right here.
It's real.
You see him, though.
I'm pressing that button.
Y'all, y'all look out
because he's right here.
Yeah.
Yep.
Good for you.
It's helpful.
You're a good person.
All right.
Well...
You got one more.
Wait, what was this guy asking?
Oh, but here's what I don't like is the one where sometimes you click on it and it takes
you to the one where it looks like the view is from outer space.
What the fuck is that one, bro?
That's the one that real scares me.
Yeah, I like to get high and tight with it.
Is that Apple, the one that does it from basically Mars?
Yeah, that was too much.
You can choose a top-down view or your perspective, either one.
Or hybrid.
Google has the Google Earth where you can see everything, too.
I just use the Apple one, man.
Keep it easy.
Just whatever is easy.
If you hook it up to your phone, whatever hooks up to the car.
But you can get Google or the other.
Sometimes Apple don't know where shit is, though.
Well, sometimes I'll do Apple, and then I'll look up Google, and Google has, like, the better shortcut.
That's what, no, no.
Like, how do you not upset your shit out?
I'm saying Google can find stuff that Apple can't.
Even if you go search, like, you know how you know, do it like this.
Ask Siri something, and then ask Google something.
And you'll find that Google has more options.
Siri's, like, limited.
It's almost like they.
Sometimes ways should be, like, what car are you in? You know, how tough are you? Because it Google has more options. Siri's limited. It's almost like they- Sometimes Waze should be like, what car are you in?
How tough are you?
Because it's taking me down.
When I was trying to get downtown, man, I went down seedy areas.
Theo's asked him, do you want to be near black people?
Are you looking for homes?
Theo's Waze goes, how urban do you want to get?
Do you want to avoid urban neighborhoods?
It's like, are you willing to take MLK Jr.?
Which actually ain't a bad option.
It's not bad.
I'm not going to hate.
I'll go Frederick Douglass Ave, but I'm not going MLK Jr. Boulevard.
You know what I'm saying?
I do got to make certain choices, you know?
It is crazy that every MLK Boulevard is in a bad neighborhood.
Every MLK.
I don't understand that.
Avoid that, man. I don't understand that. Avoid that, man.
I don't understand that.
Dude, I have a dream that there is an alternate route.
What about this, though?
Do you remember before they had the Google Maps and shit, Eric?
Yeah, MapQuest.
MapQuest was the first one.
Remember MapQuest?
You had to print that shit off and take it with you.
Dude, but you don't know how exciting it was because before that, it was the Thomas guy.
And that Thomas guy was so confusing.
That's just LA, though.
You had to have a tabletop book in your car to figure out where to go.
So then when MapQuest came out, I thought I was so cool because I'm like, oh, shit, I got it right here.
Make a left at this corner. But then man can you even imagine i can't even you can't even explain that to kids
you know what's weird is when you go to rent a car now they go do you want the the do you want
the navigation bitch i have a phone oh don't even it's 2021 they just that's for idiots. Yeah, for older people. It's like people that buy hotel porn.
Yeah.
If you still buying hotel porn, you getting the fucking, yeah, you know what?
Give me the GPS.
I'll take the GPS.
Go ahead, toss that in there.
Yeah, throw the GPS in on the rental.
Like, you a damn fool.
What are you talking about?
All right, we got one more debate club
i don't know if you guys heard but at one of uncle joey's shows somebody tried to attack him with a
knife what and his opener came and took the guy out i sent nick the video so it brings up a debate
club if you guys go on the road and you can have one comic to have your back who's it gonna be
gang gang buzz buzz i don't know if this was true
because i didn't hear about it anyplace else but there was a tick tock that went viral oh come on
dude who you gonna pick daddy oh um i thought i need to see your record first this is it right
I need to see your record first.
This is it right here. I mean, ask Cro-Cop.
Ask Gonzaga.
Legends.
Legends.
I would probably pick Big Easy over there, Brendan Shaw, man.
That's who I got to pick.
What was your nickname in fighting, Brendan?
It was Big Brown, but before that it was The Hybrid.
But it's Big Brown for the last, like, four years, thanks to Brian Callen.
I would say Big Brown, man. I would take Big Brown for the last, like, four years. Thanks to Brian Callen.
I would say Big Brown, man.
I would take Big Brown probably as my hitman.
Joe Rogan's maybe with that specialty leg chop he's got.
Or I would take Andrew Dice Clay also because Andrew Dice Clay would probably try to help and then get his fucking ass beat because I got a piece of shit.
And then you could get away.
While they're beating the fuck out of you.
I'm out.
Yeah.
While they're beating some old man dressed like Oscar the Grouch
I can fucking sneak off
My thing is like
I'm not
Who wants to fight
I'm sure you're in a position where you don't want to fight anymore
But dog this ain't about that Eric
I don't know if I'd want him because he would try to avoid
The fight
I'd avoid all costs
But if it came down to it, somebody can put their fucking sleeve.
No, no, but how many times has somebody been out?
Okay, but I bet this happens to you a lot.
You're out with your boys, whatever.
I know what you're going to say.
Never.
And everybody's like, somebody might be like, you don't want to mess with us because Big
Brown's here, fool.
Big Brown, get up here.
Big Brown, handle this.
You know, the only time that i thought
i was gonna have to use my old skills dust off the old skills is when mark maron was on stage
in the main room and these two dudes from australia kept heckling him and he went hard on
him right and just lit him on fucking fire and the mark goes ah fuck man i gotta walk to my car
he's like come on he's like be. And they kept talking shit to him.
And you know the security at the comic store.
God bless them.
What security?
It's hit or miss.
The guys that work there?
Yeah, they're not really secure.
There's no security.
I got attacked at the comic store.
They have Bluetooth and shit, but they're not exactly in shape.
So I stood there.
It's Ari Maness.
Yeah, it's kind of Ari Maness.
Imagine.
And Derek Poston.
You're dead.
Ari Maness, that's it. I'm dead. Ari Maness, that's it.
I'm dead.
I'm like, oh, fuck.
So you know it's these comics.
So I hung out because I wanted to make sure Mark was all right.
Two times.
First of all, I'm not a fighter.
I'm a big guy, right?
So when you're a big guy, people avoid trying to fight you.
Yep.
But it don't mean I can fight.
And I'm just not a fighter.
And in my life now, I got more to lose.
I'm calling the authorities.
We're not getting to a fight. I'm not starting a fighter. And in my life now, I got more to lose. I'm calling the authorities. We're not getting to a fight.
I'm not starting a fight with you.
I mean, if I need to throw some hands, I'll do whatever I can.
I always say, you better kill me because I'm not going to stop.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But I've never.
So two times this has happened.
One time, Al Madrigal was on stage at the Comedy Store.
And he was going in on this dude.
All right?
And then afterwards, Al, he gets off stage
and he walks to the OR box office, right?
And I see the dude beeline into Al, right?
So I just walked in front of the guy
and stood in front of, so you're Al.
Yeah, you can't get to him.
The guy's back here.
And I'm just like, good set, man.
You did good.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
Then the guy just kind of like left.
Then Al looked at me. He goes, thank you. Oh, I love it. But I'm thinking to, good set, man. You did good. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Then the guy just kind of like left. Then Al looked at me and he goes, thank you.
Oh, I love it.
But I'm thinking to myself, oh, God, please don't hit me.
I don't either.
With Mark's thing, I'm like, God, please don't make me do something, man.
Yeah.
I don't want to get in trouble.
Yeah.
I want to protect the comics.
Another time, I'm at the Laugh Factory and Dane Cook's on stage
and Dane is going in on these guys, you know.
But they were like, this guy stands up and it's about to be a thing.
And I found myself walking over there.
But as I was doing that, I thought, what am I going to do?
You know what I mean?
But, like, that's just my instinct.
It's like when you see one of your brethren on stage, no matter who they are,
like them or not or whatever, even if they deserve it.
I just feel there's a feeling of like,
I got to step in and do something.
Yeah, I got to help them out.
I don't know.
I'd let some people get lit up, I think.
Say again?
I'd probably let Marc Maron get lit up.
I'd let some people get lit.
Not Marc.
Come on, man.
He's a legend.
Sometimes people need a smack in the mouth.
I'm actually with you on this one.
Not Marc, though.
Maybe he shouldn't have got hit,
but Marc should have got a little bit of like,
hey, somebody should have went like this to him.
Be cool, man.
Watch your mouth.
Don't do that shit again.
Sometimes people need a little bit of, hey, hey, hey.
Yeah.
Be cool, man.
That's it.
I'll tell you, this is how gangster Brian Callen is.
This is the closest I've ever been getting in a fight on the street is me and Brian were
somewhere in the valley at this bar, this random bar.
Brian wanted me to meet him for a drink.
So we sit down there and all these Hells Angels walk in i'm out man they got all their best on
stuff like that and the real big one who's probably there you know they're the the meat of the group
kept staring at me they recognize me and you see them talking to them because usually they want to
show how tough they are i told brian like dog we gotta figure a way to get the fuck out of he's
like why i was like i I heard them, man.
They're going to start fucking with us and come over here.
And Brian was like, let them come over here.
I was like, what?
Yeah, Brian was like, let them come over.
They can do shit, man.
I'm like, what if they do, though?
I'm like, let's get the fuck out.
And he's like, well, if they do, I ain't going nowhere.
I was like, goddamn, Brian.
First of all, that kind of shit never happens to me.
You know why?
Because I'm never going to a bar.
In the Valley.
In the Valley.
Well, Valley's popping now.
Where hell's angels might come by.
You mean heathen.
This is Brian Callen's call, man.
Yeah, you didn't know by when you walked in and it was like.
No, it was kind of empty.
It was like one of those swinging doors, you know.
Saloon.
It was a saloon.
As soon as you opened it, it went.
But look, also, man, you got to know, man, a lot of motorcyclists, if you give them a
couple years, they die in car accidents, bro.
Is that the truth?
It's not even worth fighting them, dude.
Or they become teamsters and they're on sets.
That's where I see them all.
Why would this guy try stabbing Joey?
Yeah, have we seen this video?
It went viral on TikTok.
And actually, Sean, who's listening in Theo's studio, sent some more information.
But here's the video.
Is it in Jersey?
Let's see.
He was drunk. Yeah, he's drunk that was joey's opener yes but then this guy tweeted when the thing went viral i guess this
was a couple years ago he said okay i'm the comic from this video I did tackle and choke out a drunk dude at a Joey Diaz show.
It happened a couple of years ago.
He was hitting audience members and staff.
I never saw a knife.
He never went after Joey.
Also, I take a bullet for Uncle Joey.
Yeah.
There's the truth.
So, yeah.
But this is like popping off on TikTok.
It's got like over a million views and stuff.
But, you know, you're out here on the road.
I mean, Theo, you know, before you were Theo, you know, you were doing a lot of shit gigs.
You know, I'm still doing shit gigs, you know?
No, you're not.
No, no, dude.
I was out in, I was out.
Yeah, yeah.
Tennessee had picked this up.
I was out at like, I was in Tennessee actually at some, no, Kentucky.
I was in Kentucky at this club.
Yeah.
You know, you're out at these places and when you're a man, you're out and you're by yourself.
You don't even realize like, I'm at a hotel by myself. I don't know the opener. I didn't bring anybody. You know what you're out at these places, and when you're a man, you're out and you're by yourself. You don't even realize, like, I'm at a hotel by myself.
I don't know the opener.
I didn't bring anybody.
You know what I mean?
I'm just getting the local guy, and I'm on stage.
And this woman just, you know, she starts going in.
She goes crazy, you know?
What did she say?
Do you remember, Eric?
I don't remember.
She just was going.
I'm already done with my set.
Probably something you've said before, Theo.
You know, and then she she like um so she starts acting
up big time stands up so i pull out my phone which was the mistake because i queued everybody
to pull out their phone so i start recording her now as i'm recording her she swings at the phone
now from the back it looks like she swung and tried to hit me so that's the thing that tmz
picked up i get an email er, we're running with this story
of how this heckler hit you.
And I'm like, oh my God.
You know what I mean?
But that's not what happened.
Have you had any scares, Theo, on the road?
Like I've had, I think I was somewhere in Texas.
Yeah, I think Texas.
We had a bomb threat.
So there's like tons of security around.
But I was like, look, man, I paid the cost to be.
Just more people get blown up.
Dude, the first time I remember when I first time I do doing comedy, I'm doing I'm in Montana doing triple runs and I'm way out in like miles, Montana.
And again, it's just me in this.
I'm the I'm the opener.
And it's like guys, the headliner. And he's like he's a white guy.
And, you know, the crowd is all white they're
rowdy we're in a bar where there's like you know pool tables and you know you know what i mean
it's a rowdy ass bar guy comes up to me afterwards he's like you want to fight you know and i'm like
not really why you know what i mean like no how many rounds did you want to go though
dude good question at this point i'm looking around how am I going to get back to my hotel?
This is this guy's town.
You know what I mean?
These people know each other.
Yeah, that guy don't give a fuck.
So I try to avoid.
I go, where are you from, man?
He's like, I'm from New York.
This is exactly what he said to me, word for word.
I said, well, what are you doing here?
He goes, to get away from the niggers.
Oh.
That's his exact words.
And he said it plural, so he meant more than one?
Yeah.
He put an S on it, Theo.
But a hard ER,
it sounds like.
Hard ER.
So I said to him,
I went like this,
well, you did it.
You did it.
Great job.
It sounds like you're
at a kid rock party.
Yeah, I had my turtleneck on.
I lived my life in a slow hell
I walked
I wasn't going to bite on it
That's all he wants
So then I went and I told the headline
I was like yo man I gotta tell you this funny thing that just happened
Because it's weird
You're being racist in this day and age
It don't even make any sense
So he gets mad
Where is he?
I'm like what are you getting mad about?
What are we going to do?
You're going to go over there and do what?
Where's this guy at?
Yeah, yeah.
Get the fuck out of here, man.
He said that to you?
Yeah, right.
The guy I just told you, bro.
So I've experienced these moments where I feel like, damn, what am I going to, you know,
what would you do?
You know?
Yeah.
So, I mean, for you, you guys, you know.
Have you ever done anything with you, too?
Phil's got an entourage now.
He's got, you know.
He has a camera crew with him all the time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
R.A. Maness has this dark art.
He's going to shank somebody.
Look, I got to tell you bloated fuckboys,
I paid the cost to be the boss, okay?
I got to tell you that straight up, man.
Bloated fuckboys.
And what I'm also telling you guys.
Sorry, guys.
I want to see you without that camouflage on.
We know what you hide.
That was a typo, man.
That was a typo y'all heard.
All I'm saying is, yeah, man, look, I think things happen everywhere, man.
I think a lot of times there's dudes that want to step to people
and they'll use whatever elements they can.
And I've had people call me the N-word.
I've had people call me a f-word faggot
um i've had people call me just all you know people anytime somebody wants to start shit
they're gonna come at you especially and they know also i think they know a comedian is by themselves
you know so there's not much that they can do you know um but i think also the vibe has changed over
time i think and it does get better as your career goes along because you get in places where there's a little bit better,
you know, there's better security at, like, an improv,
and there's better, like, you know,
there's at least people that have to come and pay for a ticket
than somebody who can just roll up and walk in
and just get wasted knowing that they're looking for shit.
But there's a lot of, I'm telling you,
there's a lot of comedy clubs in the country
where they don't necessarily have security or even think about it.
I mean, how many times have you like started, like a heckler starts in, they're too drunk, and then I start to look around like, oh, they're actually not going to kick this guy out.
Because he's at a table of seven.
They haven't paid their bill yet.
They also don't know.
They don't know what's going on.
It's like, there's no metal detectors.
There's nothing.
You just start to go, well, Dan, this is actually a dangerous situation.
The club owner will sell you out.
The club owner, if it's a big party and they're raising hell they won't throw them out yeah
that's what no matter what i was doing the comedy store la jolla and totally different different but
derek poston was doing uh he had some joke about white people and this like group of 12 older white
people yelled out nazi and throw uh they threw uh wine glasses at them and they kicked
them out fast well yeah you also can call it a police yeah it's a you know it's a it's weird
salt you know yelled nazi i call the cops dude if i see two handicapped people making out i
fucking call the cops bro i did that in new orleans one time what is the justification for
that like what do you call that when you call in what do you say i say look i say
suspicious people well i just say the odds of us getting another handicapped person are increasing
and i would show up at the corner of fucking claiborne and uh and magnolia i love that he
doubled down now i want to see that story how is that happening like it's not easy for two people
like do they have helpers do they have an army man is there with them that's gonna like figuring it out like how do two people
like how do two handicapped people go on like a date and how does it get gps bro i want to know
you ever seen love on the spectrum yeah they're always that is different i'm talking about like
you know they both got fans they're like At the end of that, it's like this.
You know, it comes down off the van and the other one is like.
No, he's like, I'm coming for you, girl.
Girl, you look fine as fuck.
Yeah.
Like, that would be a whole, like.
That would be a whole, like, I don't know.
That would be dope.
I'm just saying.
I would be envious because I'd be like, damn, y'all really good.
Because you committed.
Like, it's one thing.
I'm turning back.
It's one thing to be like, all right, you know, I don't know if I really want to be with this person.
But after you had to get in the van, you got to get your chair out of the van.
You got to lock the van up.
You got to commit to the date at that point.
It's like prom every night for them.
You feel me?
You got to get to the elevator.
You got to go through that thing.
You know what I mean?
Because there's stairs.
Talking about the maze.
Yeah, you got to go through the maze.
It's a lot. So by the time they get there, they're like, whew.
We finishing this.
Yeah, the more you go through, man.
I think the more you go through, the more love is at the end of the line.
You know that.
Yeah, there you go.
See?
That's beautiful.
That's what I'm saying.
There you go.
He's going to call the cops on you, though.
But yeah, he's the way he look.
Yeah.
That's such a fucked up, man.
I'm just trying to get eric to be brave enough
to darken up a little bro you know because we can't we can't he was such a karen you know what
i mean he on the lawn talking about this handicap people fucking i didn't say fucking i said kissing
heavily like excuse me i said this handicap people fucking and i don't like and i don't it, and there's a chance they're going to make more handicapped.
I don't know if it works like that, sir.
That whole conversation.
Sir, please call back.
We have an emergency.
I don't know if it's contagious like that, sir.
I'm just saying, you got to freaking think ahead, man.
We got to think big picture, dog.
Yeah, you're right, dog.
That's Dio.
Yeah, that's Dio right there.
Karen Vaughn.
That does look like Karen Vaughn. Karen Vaughn.
There's your title for the episode.
Karen Vaughn.
We'll close out with some
Culture Corner auditions. Next week, we're going
to have someone either on Zoom or in
studio, but we'll start
off with this guy. We getting those two
non-keto twins in here? We'll see
if we can. We'll see if we can.
This guy, I think, Eric met at a bar one time.
What's up, Tio?
Brandon, Colter, Corners.
I was thinking he was the guy who said the N-word.
You'll hear more about him in it.
It'll make sense.
What's up, Tio?
Brandon, Colter, Corners, Chappelle, Cat.
It's your one and only Bosnian homie, Dino Christian Dautovic.
I am from Bosnia,nia refugee but I ain't
got no accent or nothing man I'm just fucking with you guys but yeah man I'm a
truck driver out here came here 95 after the genocide the war in Bosnia damn been
through some shit man been through prison done some dumb shit yeah all
that type of jazz you know that chain jazz you know all that stuff man but yeah man
i feel like i could add a good addition to the culture corner fuck yeah i'm uh
pretty normal guy man i like to write poem rapping hippity hop don't stop you don't drop
whatever you know bullshit yeah man i attached a rapid video to this man i don't stop you don't drop whatever you know bullshit yeah man I attached a
rapid video to this man I don't really oh there's a white rapper to get old Wow
and Brendan but I was Bosnia not why I feel like this guy I feel like that guy's
in witness protection yeah and he doesn't realize that this is going on
the internet and like his like witness protection agent is at home
right now going what the fuck is he did what idiot doing what if he's in whitney's protection program
you got to be an animal yeah whitney cummins has a protection program service uh here's his rap You can't be spending your money, you gotta run it up Keep chasing women and you'll end up looking dumb as fuck
I'm saying, look I know what I speak
Cause I done been here before, I'm in a relationship with
I know what it feel like to toss a turn in your sleep
And to make matters worse, you ain't slept in a week
But you gotta learn to keep your faith
Cause if God gotta say, you gon' be okay
Stay on the grind their day, stack them Frito Lays
Get the devil out your face, you gon' see more straight That's probably the one thing I could promise Damn.
Praise Christ, baby.
Praise God.
You know what?
It wasn't terrible.
It wasn't bad.
It wasn't bad at all. I'm not mad at him. You know what it wasn't terrible wasn't bad it wasn't bad at all i'm not i'm not mad at him you know what i mean but he's just out here driving these streets did he say he's in la
nick uh no he was like south florida or something but he's a trucker so he's all yeah he's all over
the country and drive over here that's your demographic that would be pretty intense i
think he'd be cool them bosnians dude and i'll tell you about them Bosnians, bro. A lot of them just died.
A lot of them died.
And you know about it, Brendan, or you don't?
A little bit.
Doubt that.
Tell him, Nick.
Tell him, Nick.
I'm looking up Bosnian genocide right now.
There we go.
Jesus Christ.
It's a crack staff you got here.
8,300 killed.
Yeah, the Bosians have been through a lot.
Dude, I don't know why people don't like them.
I haven't met enough of them to know why people don't like them yet.
I like that guy.
We got Justin Long right here.
His new podcast isn't going well.
It's Justin Long, dude.
He has a new podcast that isn't going well.
Let me tell you why I should be the next guest on the culture corner
name ivan diaz enriquez six two tall glass of water peak of my existence mexican i know who
pancho villa is i know who richie valens is selena got posters of her all over my walls
yes i do have a friend named Hector to be precise for
American core values, bro. I got love apple pie
My parents are divorced didn't do great in school can't name all the states on the map But I can tell you what a neutral zone infraction is make me your next guess Chris D'Elia
I feel like I'm a and this is a lay on witness protection Allen
And it won't be it looks like Chris Dsalia and brian kind of merged together baby unique he clowned baby unique so it can't be any worse than baby
and baby unique's a damn lizard owner too yeah she brought a fucking snake
this guy was cool though i dig this dude no don't dude. I think the white rapper was fun.
Nah.
You didn't like him.
Yeah.
I liked him,
but I just want you to be honest with everybody.
And I want you to be honest with Eric too.
Uh,
I think both of these guys could be fun.
Yeah.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right,
man.
They're both good guys.
No,
look,
I'm happy that this guy sent this in.
This guy's obviously from another country and he,
you know, who knows even what it's like over there
and so the fact that he's even able to get this put together
and send this out he had that soft helmet
on
I would have done a Chris D'Elia impersonation
I would have went with a Chris D'Elia impersonation
that's what I would have went with
so how about this here's what I would like to request
out of this young man
we would like to see a Chris D'Elia impersonation.
If you can do that and send it in, I think that that would really be interesting.
Brendan, what do you think?
Yeah, that would be fun.
There you go.
Sweet.
And we got one more.
This guy's – he went a little long, but he was good.
Let me know if you want me to cut him off.
Why does he get cut off?
He went over –
He's from Wisconsin.
Fucking truck driver in Boston, dude. He's from Wisconsin. Truck driving in Boston.
He had two videos.
Had a rap.
The one black guy is like, this one went a little long.
What does he say?
Hi, I want to be on the show.
Turn it off.
Not a fit, am I right?
What is happening on this show?
It's a two minute long video.
You already had to dig this one up for my benefit right now.
You got to be looking at it with the show notes like,
we better, let's have somebody of color.
Two minutes is an eternity.
This even has a filter on it, too.
Let's see this guy.
We even put a filter, too.
He looked a little lighter in the original video.
I see.
It's my initials.
I am a black as you can see
a lot of culture going on here
a lot of culture going on here
but I am a black from
Louisville, Kentucky
I like country music
I do stand up
I'm one of them Ammys
got a tight
Three to five
Damn
I played a little bit
Of college football
Okay
On the lower level
On the lower level
Train
A little bit of MMA
I watch a little bit of
Porn
Amen brother Praise God We all suffer And my father Is a pastor I watch a little bit of porn.
Amen, brother.
Praise God.
We all suffer.
And my father is a pastor who wants me to follow in his footsteps.
Hates that I do MMA.
I mean, how's this guy different than Chappelle? He doesn't even know that.
It's true.
Wants me to finish college.
I'm 23 right now.
What is happening?
That's what I was going to say.
I mean, it's not even.
They're just trying not to be racist.
Wait, wait, wait.
It's not even that it's long.
Like, he got enough pauses that Theo can step in.
Each step.
Chime in.
Chime in on you.
The Lord works well.
You know.
Praise God.
Ah, salam alaikum, my brother.
We all like.
Like, this guy's perfect for Theo.
He can just chime in with, I love your hair.
In between.
This is a lot.
I love Red Tails.
Remember that movie, Red Tails?
Come on, man.
Don't roast Red Tails.
Come on.
It was pretty good, man.
But I'm just saying, it seemed outlandish, but it was good.
Look, obviously, this guy is a talented gentleman.
I think we need to ask him to do something, though, B.
I think have him, you know, like just like with the other guys,
have him create something that makes it a little bit more of a vibe.
Do one of the things that he said.
Yeah, I would also maybe drink a Monster Energy drink for a little more energy.
Do something. Coffee, something.
It's easy to get five minutes when you're silent half the time.
Well, he only has to say two sentences
in that five minutes.
I see what you're doing there, Nick.
Slow talker. I like it.
He reminds me of Glenn Big Baby Davis a little bit.
A little bit.
Do you get Glenn Big Baby Davis
in the culture corner?
And his thick ass girl.
He was
all excited about the fight.
He's a big, he's a Louisiana guy.
That makes sense.
We on top right now.
It's crazy up here, man.
Alright.
Fuck, I gave that thousand.
I was out with one guy who had a really
cool, he's a pretty artistic guy
Bet you he's white
Wow
She had the build up
She had the build up
This guy's got
The artistic guy
He was like
You know
Like the build up
For the
Oh and I
The other guy
They were like
Oh next up
We got this sleepy guy
Who may not have
Who may not have
Y'all probably want me
To cut this one off
I'm gonna send those In there anyway I'll let you guys decide Calls me like I see some This who may not have who may not have you want me to cut this one off i'm gonna throw us in there anyway i'll let you guys decide calls me this guy may not have
legitimate paperwork on him chin chappelle nick and cat oh he's high super big time fan here
long time listener i actually saw brendan uh brian callen and chappelle at stand up live in phoenix
um that's where i'm currently living right now doing all this art but I got a King It or Sting It for you today
guys. What do you think about boys that are even though I'm straight? What do you
guys think about getting creative on a Friday night? Getting creative on the weekdays?
You can see I stay busy painting.
But King it or Sting it.
Maybe getting your girl together,
doing a little bit of finger painting.
Here's my favorite one, actually.
Or maybe just solo.
Get the kratom flowing and get the paints out.
King it or Sting it for you guys.
Painting, getting artistic.
Love you guys.
I even make my own hats. It's Smokey Joe Paint Co.
Painting on clothes, painting on canvases, painting on bodies.
So this guy gets to do a commercial.
Yeah.
A whole promo.
This guy gets a promo.
Is he getting a kickback?
I agree.
He's a talented individual.
By the way, yeah.
Like, all that was great.
Like, I see, like, he really showed, showed like his personality doesn't match all
that he's showing so I bet you he's not really like this what he's doing right
now he's playing that up cuz you cuz probably friends are always getting on
his case about it yeah wake up you when they're doing that bitch ass art but he
really wants to fuck it down it is very talented shit pain of king of the
stingpiece we need a new centerpiece of the Sting piece. We need a new set of pieces for the studio.
I mean, that's what he should be showing.
The video was like, and I got this for you guys.
Yeah.
Theo and the white turtleneck, my thick ass in the corner.
And who's that?
Is that Ryan?
What's his name?
That guy that does all the jumps?
No.
I thought that was Adam Ray.
Sheckler?
Sheckler.
Yeah, Ryan Sheckler.
That's who I'm thinking of.
It could be Adam Ray.
It could be that Rodriguez fella.
It does look like Adam Ray a little, doesn't it?
Right?
Doesn't it?
Now, Chin, what are you doing?
Are you still alive?
I can't even believe that you're here.
What's going on?
And this guy reminds me of Seth Green a little bit.
A little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah, same vibe.
His cadence.
Yeah.
Oh, no, no.
You know, I tell you what.
Now I got it in my head.
Do you guys remember?
Did you remember Clueless? Yeah. head. Do you guys remember Clueless?
Yeah.
Remember the skateboard high guy in Clueless?
Yeah.
That's this guy right here.
He reminds me of Jamie Kennedy a little bit.
I can see that.
Not really, actually.
You don't think so?
Like Jamie Kennedy now, though.
I don't see it.
There he is.
Thank you.
Look at this guy.
Very good.
There he is right there. That's the same guy. Look at that. There he is. Thank you. Look at this guy. Very good. There he is right there.
That's the same.
They're the same guy.
Look at that.
Look at that.
That guy's in every movie.
He's in that college movie.
Is it Road Trip?
Road Trip, yeah, with Tom Green.
And he was in Ocean's 13.
Is this the same guy?
He was the hockey guy in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie?
No, you're thinking of Casey.
Oh, yeah, different guy.
He's in every movie. Is that Gil?
What's that guy's name?
Gil Burns?
No, he was in Wine, that movie about wine.
Remember that movie about wine?
Oh, you're thinking of Sideways.
Yes.
Great movie.
Not him.
Who is that?
Gary?
No, Gil.
That's Hayden and something.
And the other one's...
It's not Hayden, Brendan.
Gil somebody.
This guy's name is Breckin Aaron Meyer.
Yeah, people say he looked like Bill Maher too.
Like a young Bill Maher.
I don't see that.
Yeah.
That guy, yeah, I could see him looking like a young Bill Maher.
This guy is Gil.
Look at the crack.
Can you look at wine?
Paul Giamatti.
And then Thomas Hayden.
Paul Giamatti.
That's who I'm thinking of, Paul Giamatti.
Oh, God, wait.
What?
Are you kidding me?
A little bit in the face.
No, hell no.
Younger.
This guy's younger.
My bad.
That's it.
That's it.
Look at the face.
Zoom in the face.
Zoom in the face.
Zoom in the face.
They don't look anything like that.
Well, if Nick was zooming the face, he's looking at words still.
You're wasting everybody's life.
Yeah.
That's a bad pitch.
You could have picked anyone there you go i mean i guess they're two white males yeah you got that i don't
see that no hair one has hair i just i don't get it whatever you guys are fucking you guys
aren't artistic that's your problem it sounds like you are autistic
well then call the cops, dog.
Yeah, anytime I see T.O. fucking up, I'm like.
I'd be like, hey, two autistic guys have a show together.
We need the police over here.
That's what I would say.
Well, Mr. Griffin, thanks for coming, man.
Yeah.
You crushed it, dude.
Griffin, what are you doing on Twitch, too?
I want to know more about it.
So I've never done Twitch, even.
So tell me a little bit more about it, because I know you game a lot.
Yeah, I'm a game.
Eric Griffin Gaming.
You can check me out.
I'm on there daily.
Because I don't like going out.
How's it going?
It's good.
Well, there's nowhere to go out.
There's nowhere to go out.
So I just game all the time.
I'm building up my community.
And I've gotten a lot of opportunities because of gaming.
I played video games with T-Pain on a show.
Does he do the voice?
No, he doesn't.
But I have my thing, and I did it.
It's probably annoying to him.
You know what I mean?
It's like when somebody does a joke to a comic.
But, yeah, I've had a bunch of different opportunities.
I did this show on the Twitch Crown channel.
It was called Potluck during December.
What game do you play?
I play a lot of Call of Duty.
Oh, wow. That's my game.
I love playing Warzone.
So you'll see me in Verdansk every single day
on Eric Griffin Gaming.
So come check me out, wherever the camera is.
Okay, we'll put that information to his stuff.
Is there links people can get to it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just Twitch.
Okay, we'll put that in.
Now, do they have treaties?
I don't know how Twitch works.
On Call of Duty, is it just fighting
or you can do treaties and stuff as well?
Is there teams?
Treaties?
Like, what kind of boring-ass game does Theo want to play,
where you're, like, sitting at a table, and you guys have to discuss foreign policy?
What kind of dumb-ass game would that be, Theo?
I'm just saying, Brendan thought I said treats.
That's what his fucking problem is right now.
Brendan's picturing two dudes from different countries
making fucking cinnamon apple pretzels over here.
That's his problem.
But no, there's no way to have peace.
There's no way to have peace
between the different people on the game?
No.
Is it teams?
Or you're by yourself killing people?
No, you can,
like I do a lot of solo.
Then I have my buddies come in and we play like, and we play duos, trios, or quads.
I've been asking this.
I've been telling Theo to come jump on with me many times.
Theo's not a gamer.
He's too busy out here in these streets.
I can't get my thing to work.
My controller won't charge right is my biggest issue.
You sound like somebody's grandpa.
You know what I mean?
What system do you play on?
Damn controller.
But it's cross-platform, so you can play on a PC,
Xbox, or a PS4.
What system does he play on, dude?
Brendan sounds like a fucking old dude.
What system, bro?
I don't know.
All right, Doug.
Have fun, kids.
My bad, man man this airs Thursday
let's don't fucking finish bro
I don't have anything else to do bro
let's don't fucking finish now
man I gotta get going
I gotta get home to my fucking kids
Friday Saturday I'm at San Marcos
you have two kids Brendan
what'd you say?
you have two kids
it's not that big of a deal
yeah you're right
you're right
he acted like it was the Partridge family.
You know what I mean?
He got nine kids and another baby mama someplace where he got two other ones.
Says the guy who has plants and says the guy who plays video games all day.
Hey, don't get mad at us because we make good life choices.
You're the one out there busting and beating.
It's because your pull-out game
is messed up.
Dude, I would love to...
Man.
God, I just can't believe
Dustin Poirier won.
That fucking shit was crazy.
Dude, what about
Michael Chandler, though?
What about him?
What about the back...
What do you think was scarier?
Having to fight Dan Hooker
or having to do the backflip
off the fucking top
of the octagon? I'd say the backfl Hooker or having to do the backflip off the fucking top of the octagon?
I'd say the backflip.
I can't do no backflip.
The guy did a backflip before the fight or after the fight?
He knocked the dude out, jumped on top of the cage,
and did a backflip onto the mat.
It was nuts.
Oh, my God.
Crazy, bro.
But now, Eric, what sport?
Say, Eric, say you have to get out there, right?
Somebody puts a gun to your head and you've got to get out there
and actually do a sport.
Right. What do you do actually do a sport. Right.
What do you do?
I play basketball.
Okay.
I played basketball when I was younger and more fit.
Wait, you played in high school or college, didn't you?
I know I played in high school.
Yeah, just high school.
I thought I remember seeing a picture one time and somebody posted of you playing high
school basketball.
Is that true?
Do you remember that?
Yeah, I posted that.
It's a throwback Thursday, you fuck.
It was awesome.
I freaking forgot about that.
That was awesome.
Did you play a sport?
What sport did you play out there?
Yeah, I played basketball, dude.
I played with some unique people.
Actually, you want to show them the picture, Nick?
Yes, sir.
Yeah, your team looked pretty good, Dio.
That one dude, there's no way he was in high school.
You played with David Robinson.
Look at this squad.
Oh, we played.
They had a dude named Bear Bear. This other dude named Arms Johnson Robinson look at this squad oh we played it had a dude in our name bear bear this other dude named arms Johnson look at this squad
arms Johnson look at the dude on the far right right on high school but that's
Don Galatis he was 41 years old dude he also was the janitor at our school and
went to school wait first of all that of all that dude on the top right like
that's what i'm saying he's 37 at least that's what i'm saying bro juco transfer gee whiz that's
don galati baby these are the only six black people in theo's town you know what i mean
they look scared those are the only black kids in the whole city he grew up in.
Look, bro.
They were on a basketball team.
Bro, they called me Pass.
It looked like they called you White Chocolate, right? That was my nickname, baby.
Pass, baby.
It looked like you and the guy behind you would get together and talk shit about the rest of the guys.
Wait, did you play?
Because there's six of them, so that was five starters.
When did you...
When did you get in?
There's six black guys. Only five
played. I see six black guys. I see
a tall cornbread
white boy in the back. When did you
get in? I see Theo being very hydrated
and helping out the boys.
I played late at night.
Theo was all arms back then, too.
Look at that.
Arms and ears.
Long arm of the law right there.
Long arms.
That's Cal Jackson right there.
That's John Clark.
You got Vincent Jackson, Don Galatis, Jonathan Smith,
and you got fucking James, I don't know.
He worked at the auto body shop.
He didn't even go to high school. He did, bro. He went to school. But they didn't know. He worked at the auto body shop. He didn't even go to high school.
He did, bro.
He went to middle school.
But they didn't check.
This motherfucker didn't even go to school.
He just showed up for the game.
Just played ball, yeah.
And this was junior high.
He took off his overalls when he got to the...
What?
This was middle school, I think.
That was...
No, it wasn't.
There's no way that was 8 and 14 are middle school. You can't be middle school. 14 looks. No, it wasn't. There's no way number 8 and 14 are middle school.
You can't be middle school.
14 looks identical to LeBron James.
Number 8 got two kids in this picture.
You know what I mean?
Number 8 has to get going, too, because of kids.
You know what I'm saying?
After this picture, he was like, look, I got two kids.
I got to get going.
Theo was talking shit back then.
Oh, man.
Those were the days, bro.
Eric, thanks so much for joining us, man.
Yeah, anytime, guys.
Yeah, man, that was fun.
Thanks.
We appreciate it.
That's it.
Love you guys.
Theo, good to see you, brother.
Get your ass back to L.A.
Good to see you.
I'll see you in studio next week, brother.
All right, brother.
Later.
All right, peace.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric.
Peace, Eric. Peace, Eric. Peace, Eric. Peace, Eric. Peace, Eric. Peace, Eric. Peace, Eric. Peace, Eric. next week brother all right brother later all right peace peace eric brennan and theo fighter and wait i gotta go in and go hard in the paint i do not think i am in flow black rifle coffee i'm
ready to go i need a sponsor i am a monster about to open up with this at my concerts flow is
contagious browser outrageous thicker than girls letter instagram famous damn hungry like i'm fresh
off keto seeing red like andrew santino every song i hit like the great Bambino Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos
But everything's gonna be fine
Hate on me, I do not mind
Theo lookin' like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times
They slide into my DMs
A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em
Quit playin' like Nintendo DS
You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz
Meanin' y'all edible, just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible
Brennan's son hit me up
He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up?
King and the sting
King and the sting
King and the sting
Bee sting, rat king
King and the sting
King and the sting
Got the bees in a trap
Got the cheese on a string King and the sting King and the sting Got the bees in a trap Got the cheese on a string
King in the sting
King in the sting
King in the sting
Bee sting rat king
King in the sting
King in the sting
Got the bees in a trap
Got the cheese on a string.