The Golden Hour - Episode 108: Wheelchair Hotties
Episode Date: February 12, 2021Theo and Brendan talk UFC's Mike Perry, Theo's memory of hanging with Russell Crowe at The Comedy Store, Cat's OnlyFans, Kimchi Debate, All New Flaunt My Aunts and Sink My Inks, N...injas vs Pirates, G-Unit, an update on Gianni Paolo, Relationship Advice for Dating Girls in Wheelchairs and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Murder ball was tight on MTV.
But there was no murder in it.
That was the thing.
I thought in the end somebody died.
It's just people throwing a ball around.
Yeah, that's kind of like the tuna subway stuff if you're gonna say tuna
i need tuna if you're gonna say murder ball i need some murdering yeah dude like don't
tell me murder and give me mackerel
back off my broccolini Get your life together
It is
Don't touch me bro
I'm not touching you dude
No
No
Uh uh
No
Stop you right there
Can't help
Schedule book
Guys I'm doing on dates
Leave me alone
Okay
I date
Okay
You're a serial dater, man.
Not all of us have
kidnapped a fucking semi-underaged
woman like Chin has.
You're talking about it's my girl now.
Yeah. She works at the library. Sure she
does, dude. Chin's girl has
after-school care program written all over
her, dog.
That chick is nine,
bro. She has the body of a nine-year-old
talking about she curvy yeah you're talking about my girlfriend she's curvy that's scoliosis dude
okay and they do a check every six months at the at the academy she's got curves in the front
that's a stomach. One of those is pregnancy, dog.
Oh, crap.
She has that thingy.
The IED or something?
No, IED has killed thousands of soldiers abroad.
RIP, dog.
That's Afghanistan slang, dog.
Dude, RIP, bro.
She has an IED inside of her, dude?
Is she working for Nation of Islam? No, Doug. Dude, R-I-P, bro. She has an I-E-D inside of her, dude? No.
Is she working for Nation of Aslam?
No.
No.
What is that thing called?
But those things are 100% chin.
Huh?
I mean, but the swimmers can still get past the goalie there and score some goals.
Not chin swimmers, dude.
Those things are fucking bumper to bumper on the way in, dude.
You ever seen a lot of chins in traffic?
Yeah, they probably get stopped at the gate.
I got to look at the accuracy because I never really looked at it.
And I kind of just go do whatever.
You're disgusting, dude.
You're the Chinese Derek.
Chin letting that wasabi loose.
They are spicy.
That wasabi, dog.
That kimchi hitter over there.
Jim busting that skim milk out there, bro.
That Vietnamese freaking coconut milk.
No, you better tighten up, Chin.
God wants you.
Yeah.
God wants you, Chin.
I know.
I'm a good person.
Do you go to church, Chin?
No, he doesn't, dude. Sorry, Chin. It's okay. Hold on. You know. I'm a good person. Do you go to church, Chin? No, he doesn't, dude.
Sorry, Chin.
It's okay.
Hold on.
You answer.
I don't.
See?
Yeah, you know you don't.
Told you, bro.
Nick definitely doesn't, but he's been when he was with his grandma growing up.
Dude, if you have a grandma that you live with and you're growing up, that's just like going to church.
That's fair.
But she'd make you go every Sunday?
Not every.
Sometimes she just doesn't want to deal with the
fight uh oh you still fight her i mean just like we're in the yard or inside do you go body only
or do you go hit her in the knees she's got a rock hard core so you don't want to go body with
my grandma you just tire yourself out but uh three or five rounds uh but now today when i go back
home i volunteer i'm like you don't want to go to church i ask her first and she always wants to go Was it three or five rounds? But now today when I go back home, I volunteer.
I'm like, you want to go to church?
I ask her first.
And she always wants to go?
Yeah, it makes you feel nice.
Look at, dude, Nick hits 30,000 IG followers and he gets a bang energy.
Unreal.
Kat started an OnlyFans and has an assistant now.
Does she really?
Unbelievable.
She's killing it on the thing. Really's killing it kill i know i'll tell
you off the air how much but it is i know it's a lot man we have a single mom on tpw that we
part of the single mom thing that we help out sometimes and she got an only fans we can't even
get in touch with her anymore that's how it goes man we can't even help her anymore she's like
i'm good you fucking yeah she's like please leave me alone man i've used your platform enough yeah cat cat got that new money got new
bangs and shit damn she just she has new bangs yeah she has bangs i wonder if she posted on
instagram or not she did no money bangs that's how it goes man that's the thing you buy a girl
a waffle bro and next thing you know you're not invited to lunch, dog. That's the old saying.
You ain't lying, bro.
That's the old Chinese saying, isn't it, Chen?
I'm joking.
I know you're Korean.
I know.
That was a joke.
Dicey.
Oh, dicey, dog.
Checkmate, dog.
Bobby Lee.
You fucking hear me, Bobby Lee, you sleepy fuck.
All right, wake up, dog.
I'm that fucking alarm clock, son.
Yeah, come get some.
You want it, you little gristle animal? Come get it, dog. Come freaking get up, dog. I'm that fucking alarm clock, son. Yeah, come get some. You want it, you little gristle animal?
Come get it, dog.
Come freaking get it, dude.
There's Cat with them new bangs.
Dude, I'll jump off the bottom rope and fucking still take you out, you bastard.
Bobby Lee?
Yeah.
You going to hit that redhead on the way down?
Dude, I fucking, oh, oh, yeah.
I'll catch that dude with my-
Get a little cinnamon on your elbow?
I'll catch that dude with one of my hooves.
I'll catch that chatty Hollywood elite with one of my hooves, dude.
Yeah, he is Hollywood now.
Oh, dog.
Talking about, sorry, can't do the show.
I'm on set.
Yeah.
I'm on set.
You're on somebody else's set, dog.
Set of nuts, huh?
Yeah, dude.
Set of my dick of nuts.
Dog, you've been dating.
Dude, I went on a date.
So what, dude?
It wasn't that great, and I had to freaking pay for everything.
That's how it goes, bro.
And listen to this move, okay?
Are you sure this one was a woman this time?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I have no idea.
There's no physical proof, but I believe if i had to take a if i had lie
detector test yeah if i had to take a lie detector test everything inside of me would say hey this a
woman all right i believe you i don't know if the audience does but i do i don't think you believe
me i think they do i think we're all skeptical all right we're in this together um so you've
been serial dating no i haven't been serial dating.
I just found out on a date.
But, oh, here's the thing.
So they got the leftovers from the thing.
She didn't want to take them right there.
I'm like, oh, okay.
Who's this fancy B?
You know what I'm saying, dude?
Don't worry about the leftovers, though.
If it's like sushi or something, I'm with her.
She's too good to have something to eat tomorrow?
Bro, get the f out of
here she's got the dates lined up like now i get another meal sucker that's fine but who gots that
breakfast date you know what i'm saying yeah you're right if you can i think if you if you
meditate first you can psychologically convince yourself to have chicken parm for breakfast yeah
she's not thinking ahead oh and it must be nice to not have to, you know. But anyway, yeah, she took my freaking leftover also.
What did you order?
Salmon.
For the dog, she said.
Oh, for the dog?
Yeah.
Like, what kind of a freaking dog?
Eat fucking fish, baby, water cattle.
Oh, she fancy.
That's what I'm saying, dog.
Some Instagram thoughts getting ratchet, dog.
So that's what I'm thinking of right now, dude.
Sprite has an OnlyFans.
She don't need you.
You got a little freaking Scottish charrier out there polishing just.
Eating your salmon, dog.
Polishing off a freaking little bit of fucking wood-seared salmon right now, dude.
And Nick's out here with his bang energy.
Jesus, man.
Everyone's changing around here.
Everybody's changing.
Look at your chin.
What?
With all your fucking money.
What?
All your fucking money and keep throwing your girlfriend in our face all the goddamn time.
What?
Yeah, trying to get reconstructive surgery so you can look Japanese.
I know that Korean come up, dude.
Trying to get shorter.
Yeah, dude.
Definitely not.
I know that Korean come up, dude.
It's that Asian come up, bro.
It's like, oh, you know what?
Yeah, I'm here. Then I'll do this. Then I'll get my eyes wide. Then I Korean come up, dude. It's that Asian come up, bro. It's like, oh, you know what? Yeah, I'm here.
Then I'll do this.
Then I'll get my eyes wide.
And then I'll do this, bro.
Then I'll join a band.
Get my ears shaved down.
I'll join a K-pop.
Then I bail out.
Blowing my hair.
Then I'm Polynesian.
Now I live.
Oh, I'm from Hawaii.
That's how it ends.
Now Moana's my favorite movie.
Yeah, bro.
I do want to get a 10.
I've seen it too many times, Joe Coy.
We'll be in here next week. Huh. He'll be in here next week.
Huh?
He'll be in here next week.
Oh, good.
Yeah, that's our boy.
We'll ask him right then if you seem different, Chin.
I shave my head like him.
Like Joe Coy?
I'm kind of getting close.
You're a fake Robert Whitaker in here, dog.
Yeah, you ain't fooling nobody.
Yeah.
I'm just joking, man.
You seem great, man.
How you doing?
I appreciate it.
I'm doing good.
We missed you last week, man. I know. joking, man. You seem great, man. How are you doing? I appreciate it. I'm doing good. We missed you last week, man.
I know.
It was a tough one.
Couldn't do the two shows and then be here as well.
Yeah.
I don't know how.
I mean, Brendan does it.
Yeah, it must be impossible for you to just hitch a ride with him.
I don't know what happened.
Yeah, this must be tough.
Jen's just standing there like, man, wish I could do it today.
I know.
Impossible.
We needed your thoughts on kimchi.
I know.
We were stuck.
Oh, yeah.
You told me that you got to talk about kimchi.
It's terribla, huh?
No.
Dude, if you eat it with meat, it's like the best combination.
Yeah, we knew you'd go hard in the pain on it.
Seriously.
So is kimchi on every table in your culture?
Cream on kimchi.
Is it like on any time you eat dinner or anything with a family, is it always there?
It's like your salt and pepper yeah birthdays thanksgiving christmas whatever there's always
kimchi on the table and do different people make it taste is it tastes different there's different
ones they're sour and there's fresh type so the sour ones you age for a long time it's pickled
is it pickled it's fermented oh yeah and is it spicy chin it's not that spicy so it looks like
it's super spicy just ready red and orangey? It's not that spicy. So it looks like it's super spicy.
It's just red and orangey, but it's not that spicy.
Pickled cabbage is my stepmom's nickname.
That's my wrestling name.
Was it really?
Yeah, the old pickle.
I thought it was Big Barn or whatever.
The Big Barn?
The fridge?
Yeah.
This dude's hiding goats in his back door.
That's why they call it the Big Barn.
Bro, remember when...
Oh, did you spend that cash you gave me on that little Instagram thought?
No.
Save that money, dog.
Put it in your butt.
All right.
You know it's still up there.
You know it's up there.
Now, look.
I'll pay for this.
I got eight.
Look, I still have 800 in there.
Okay. Damn, you got the salmon? All right. I got eight. Look, I still have 800 in there.
Damn, you got the salmon?
All right.
I'm going to need another hundo.
Damn, girl, you getting salmon?
Hey, waiter.
Yeah.
Oh, she wants dessert.
Waiter.
Listen, dude.
Why would you sleep on any?
All right, don't sleep on any regular old mattress. I can't sleep.
You're being loud.
You need sleep, dude.
Well, don't yell.
But you got to do it with Helix Sleep because they have a mattress that's built just for
your thick ass, bro.
Who is Helix?
Is it a Middle Easterner?
No, it's not the cat either.
I'm talking about Helix Sleep beds.
Helix Sleep, you take a quick little quiz, takes two minutes.
Then they match you with the perfect mattress just for your weird square body, Theo.
They got you covered man but
can they do my body type i got a body type like that uh you know i'm built like that um
like a thick ass miley cyrus no i'm built more like a guy that um like a crash test dummy that's
been uh you know on vacation for a while yeah but you got that big ass yeah crash test dummy with a
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Yeah, crash into me. Helix Sleep was
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If you don't know how to spell blue, you probably shouldn't be having sex.
Who was that, Nick, that you put up on the screen?
This is the return of Flop My Aunt.
Return of thighs.
What's up, girl?
These are two that were sent in, sisters.
Get your metal detector because they got jewelry on the beach.
What's up, daddy?
That bass, stop.
Oh.
On the right, we've got Aunt Paula, 67 years old.
She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't cuss,
but she likes to go dancing in Myrtle Beach
and staying out late wherever the party's at.
Yeah, she looks like she twerks.
Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada.
And to that point, her favorite song and ringtone is Don't Ya by the Pussycat Dolls.
I can see it.
That goes, don't you wish you had a man like me?
Don't ya?
Don't ya?
Don't ya?
Don't you wish your girlfriend was all like me? Don't ya? Don't ya? Don't you Don't you wish your girlfriend was Like me
Don't you
Now here's my problem with this
Thick ass aunt on the right
Is she wearing socks and sandals
Cause that's frowned upon in America
But they got a lot of seniors have tender feet
Man you can't put tender feet in that hot sand
Especially in Myrtle Beach
Are you talking about them tenderloin feet
Bro this is where they film Glory dude in Myrtle Beach Bro bro. Are you talking about them tenderloin feet? Bro, this is where they filmed Glory, dude, in Myrtle Beach, bro.
Some of those scenes.
I mean, they have cannons under the sand.
You got MTV Spring Break there every now and then.
Indentured servants.
A lot of, like, anything could pop out of that sand.
You got Pauly Shore's DNA probably all over that beach.
You could trip on a hot femur out there, dude.
They got everything in that sand, bro.
You know how many battles were fought on that sand?
Yeah. You know, your grandma freaking slips on a cannonball
you know a cannonball i'm just saying slips on a fucking musket yeah bro you got many hot
fucking musket chunks are out there oh granny get fucking and are these two different people
yeah they are two i'll tell you out of the gate even by looking at him even if i was blind
i could tell you these are three different people.
Both of you guys.
I can't tell.
Take another sip of bang, white boy, okay?
These are three different people on the screen.
Well, no, I know the old weathered sun-faced dude on the left, but I thought maybe those were two of the same women.
I was having trouble deciphering them as well, but the person on the left, that is the other aunt.
Aunt Amy, Who's 65
She smokes Salem Ultralights
Ooh
Classy
And enjoys the occasional stout
She's lived at the beach
Since she was 18
Hell yeah
She's the wife of an
East Coast surfing legend
And mother of a national
Longboard champion
Oh damn
Yet she is nervous
In the ocean
She plays the ukulele
Guitar
Banjo
And harmonica
Okay And doesn't know Who the Pussycat Dolls are.
Ooh, don't ya.
But sisters.
Oh, they're sisters.
Oh, that makes sense.
That's why they're together.
And I can see the competitiveness between them, too.
Yeah, me too.
You know?
I'll take the one on the right via decision.
One's like, I'm gonna longboard.
One's like, I'm gonna short bus, you know?
What do you, who do you pull here, Chan?
You're out on the beach, you know, you see these freaking wave riders rolling around.
The one in the red for sure.
Yeah.
And why is that, brother?
She's got curves in the front.
Yeah, I like that.
And probably in the back, Chen.
She might not, Brendan.
Ah, you're not that thick and have a flat ass.
You don't, dude, you don't say that kind of stuff about women.
Dude, you gotta date women more, bro.
You're out there on the streets with these men. I went on a date. I don't like men anymore. I't say that kind of stuff about women. Dude, you gotta date women more, bro. You're down the streets with these men.
I went on a date.
I don't like men anymore.
You went on a date with women.
Women.
Bro, it sounds like you're doing that so much,
you're trying to freaking do it to yourself, boy.
But yeah, that's Amy and Paula.
Who do you go for, you think, Nick?
Amy or Paula?
Let's say it was your Uber days. You pick up both of them.
I think I'm with Chin on this one, the one that doesn't smoke.
Her looks will last longer.
With that red, she's like an aged Pamela Anderson Baywatch.
Okay, okay.
I think our Baywatches were different.
I like that.
Yeah, I think you're right, man.
She got that more Pamela Anderson body.
She definitely.
And, look, she cares about her feet like the other one, dude.
A lot of times you get one of those sunned up dimes, man, and they all sunned out.
Yeah, they got them Raisin Bran feet.
Oh, and they fill their ears with sunscreen.
Yep.
Oh, man.
Yep.
And then you get a white face.
Oh, their face is bleached out.
From the sun, the wrinkles. Yeah. Old leather face wrinkles yeah old leather face yeah we call it on the streets oh sometimes you'll see you put the you'll fold part of their
face up and put a little money in it you think it's a wallet and it's a hot purse yeah like oh
you got hey pull that 30 out of your neck let me see your lip yeah yeah let me get that bottom lip
um is this well hold on Let me pick one, too.
I'm picking.
Oh, you're going with the thick one.
You ain't ready for that healthy one on the left.
Yeah, and the one on the left has a man, and she already brought him in.
And she also spawned a world champion longboarder.
Yeah, you don't bring a man to the beach, dude.
So I'm going to go with the one on the right.
Paula?
Is that Paula?
Yes.
That's Paula, 67, on the right.
Don't hurt him, bro.
Who are you going?
Right all day.
Really?
I told you via decision, third round.
I think she'd beat that on his ass.
I like that.
Technical cock out, bro.
But Amy's beautiful, too.
It's only because they're both so beautiful that we had to pick one.
Oh, yeah.
Look, obviously, but here's the thing about Amy is she's, you know, kind of,
she's taking the road less traveled.
She's been in the sun so much.
She's already got a man, you know.
He's a badass.
Yeah.
She probably reads a lot.
You know, she probably reads Jonathan Livingston's Seagull.
It's a book.
Yeah.
Kylo and Moby Dick.
Yeah.
She's probably read everything.
And she has a son, you know. So if that guy dies, she has somebody to take care of her.
But this other lady has socks and sandals in the hot sand.
She needs.
She's obviously searching for something out there.
Yeah.
She needs somebody.
Word.
We're moving on to a new one.
This young lady is going to introduce her, and then we'll bring up the picture.
Hey, Brennan.
Hey, Theo.
It's been a while since I've seen a flaunt your aunt,
and I think I got a good one for you.
Yeah, that's fair.
This is my Aunt Bonnie.
She's coming to you all the way from Wisconsin.
She's living her best life on one of her favorite birthdays,
and she is single and ready to mingle.
The girl is your typical Polack from a small town
who loves Bacardi Limon more than anyone I know.
Cheers, guys.
She looked like her application
got denied at Joe Exotic Zoo.
Oh, damn, bro.
Oh, she's, I would
split uncaged.
She gets to get a tattoo on her back and say,
she's uncaged, man.
Look, she's a beautiful woman. She reminds me of
Grant Cotter, who's a comedian, but in
about 40 years, maybe maybe or 30 years.
Bonnie is her name.
Beautiful.
And I love those rolled up.
Betty.
Betty.
Them rolled up Levi baggy shorts.
Those rolled up pant legs.
Let's get a picture of Grant Cotter if he does without a hat on.
Oh, really?
I think she looks more like Tim Dillon's mom maybe.
I see it.
I see Tim Dillon.
Oh, I can see a little bit of that.
And Grant also has his ears pierced. That's why
I'm saying that. Because Grant has his ears pierced.
He's handsome. That's the same.
That's the same person.
There we go, man. My boy GC right there.
An amazing comedian out
of the South Bay right there.
But yeah, she got this
shirt on. What does this shirt say, Nick?
It ain't gonna to lick itself.
Ooh.
Look, hopefully.
Don't you.
Hopefully that arrow's pointing at some stamps in her pocket.
That's all I'm saying.
Hopefully she's got.
Oh, it's pointing at a Tootsie Roll because that's disgusting if not done.
Hopefully she's got mail to send because she's sending this mail the other way.
I'm telling you that. But I know somebody that would get out there. Chin would get in there. not, Doug. Hopefully she's got mail to send because she's sending this mail the other way. I'm telling you that.
But I know somebody that would get out there.
Chin would get in there.
Oh, man.
Bro, you guys eat some wild stuff.
We do eat wild stuff.
We don't lick wild stuff.
Yeah.
Licking and eating stuff.
You stop at Caucasian.
Nick, I feel like if you picked her up on one of your Uber nights, it could get pretty wild.
You got a bang energy drink, a positive attitude.
It's her birthday.
Dude, she likes Bacardi Limon.
First thing I ever drank when I was 14 years old. There you go. Of course, attitude. It's her birthday. Dude, she likes Bacardi Limon.
First thing I ever drank when I was 14 years old.
Of course, dude. Who's birthday?
Who's birthday?
Who's birthday?
Bro, that's a Wisconsin water fountain ingredient.
Oh, yeah, duh.
I love how Nick snuck in another Wisconsin reference.
Unbelievable.
Wisconsin has had so much fanfare since making a murderer.
I was going to go with Ron Dane, but all right.
Yeah, her Wisconsin accent was like, it brought me back.
Heavy, yeah.
But look, I think this lady obviously is a beautiful lady.
She has a positive attitude.
It's her birthday.
She has a lit shirt.
It's always her birthday, dude.
Yeah, it is.
She also looks like Hulk Hogan's son.
Yeah, or daughter if she fell on some hard times.
She also looks like she makes a mean meatloaf.
She's that one grandma who has just that nasty stew recipe.
That loaf, boy.
Ooh, daddy.
Yeah.
Are you talking about that Nick Hogan?
Yeah.
Yeah.
She definitely gives me Nick Hogan vibes, kind of.
Or Hulk Hogan.
You don't want Nick Hogan as your Uber driver.
True, true.
Too much?
No, it's fine.
I just knew it was going to happen.
You were ready for it?
Is that a popular...
I don't know if people know that history, do we?
Huh? That's not that popular,
that he killed a dude? I mean, you didn't have
to say it. And you said it.
So we've got
one more aunt. This is
Aunt Allison.
Woo!
Woo!
She is an aunt. She's only 30 years old.
Dang.
Does she like salmon dinners?
Because my boy over here will pull a fucking 20s piece out of his ass.
She's single.
Whose birthday is it?
Whose birthday is it?
She's single and looking.
And the person who submitted her, Danielle, put in parentheses, wink, wink, Theo.
And she loves the outdoors and her dog, Coral.
Who doesn't love the outdoors?
You have to use the outdoors to get to different places.
Oh, god damn.
Don't hurt him, baby girl.
Where's she from?
She's from Sacramento, California.
God damn.
Shody got back.
She likes mixed dudes.
Who's that fellow she's with in the snow?
Is that Nick Van Exel?
Who is that?
Another guy from Wisconsin.
Can you zoom in on this guy? Who is that? Another guy from Wisconsin. Can you zoom in on this guy?
Who is that?
Who is that mixed gentleman she's with?
Is that Mike Perry?
That looks like Mike Perry.
And I'm just joking.
Mike Perry, all love, brother.
All love, dog.
Yeah, I love Mike.
I only say that because you're a freaking human legend, baby.
Yeah, you do look very similar.
With the beard, it does look like Mike Perry, dog.
It does look like Mike Perry.
Did he have his baby yet?
I don't think so.
Yeah, I think they did.
Oh, did they?
I think so.
Bring up a pic, man.
Let's show a pic of that beautiful kid.
He just apologized for saying the N-word.
I was just going to say, I wonder if that dog used the N-word.
Oh, he does.
I don't do it yet.
Yeah, this picture was taken during his N-word days yeah and look dude also don't shoot your shot with deal and then take a picture
with another man yeah that's true girl but look it's mike perry you got i got some respect out
there god dang she is bodied uh and look i don't think you should have to reply i mean where do
you learn the n-word probably from music these days here's the thing about the N-word. Most kids these days learn it from music.
100%.
So whose fault is it that the N-word's out there?
Yeah, that's fair.
But also, Mike Perry did that DNA test, and he became 1% black,
so he thought he gave him free will to say it.
Look, I'm not going to tell Mike Perry he can't say anything.
Oh, there we go.
Oh, he's cute. Daddy's drinking, buddy. Okay. What? Okay. free will to say it look i'm not gonna tell mike perry he can't say anything oh there we go cute
daddy's drinking buddy okay okay not the shirt on by my kid but okay
uh that's awesome man i bet you mike perry gives a shit together after that i bet he's gonna lock
it up man go on a win streak that dad power ain't nothing like it. Really? Oof.
Get her ass on my face.
I'm in a 12-step recovery program, Nick.
Actually, I did have one more and he sent a video, so we'll play him.
But I'll tell you first right now,
dude, I freaking got six
cans of Fix-A-Flat in my car.
Put in one more this morning. I'm on seven cans
most I've ever had in a car.
So it's not fixed in it. Oh, it's fixed. But that's the problem. I'm on seven cans most I've ever had in a car. Ooh. I might be, I gotta look again.
So it's not fixing it.
Oh, it's fixed.
I mean, it's,
but that's the problem.
I can only go 54 miles an hour
and the whole thing starts rattling.
That's that Jeep?
Yeah.
It's great up to 53.
I mean, it rides great.
What's up to you?
I'm Brendan.
This is Alex from Angleton, Texas,
down south of Houston.
I was just on y'all's last Patreon.
I'm the one that got busted with weed. Oh, yeah. font for you though man go check her out gang gang buzz buzz gang gang alex
and he also said about uh his aunt janet she's in her 50s but still young looking
likes to drink and take pain pills to keep her buzz she's a type of gal she's always been a
gold digger and married two men for money.
Hell yeah.
And her husband is now in his 70s and just pissed her off when he retired and sold their
nice ass house for a trailer living.
She is not happy.
Ooh, so she's on the prowl.
That cougar prowl, dog.
That night stalker.
She also looks a little bit like a weather lady.
Nine News.
I can see that, dude.
69 News, huh? Hell yeah. That Doppler, dog. Yeah. also looks a little bit like a weather lady nine news i can see that dude 69 news huh yeah
that doppler dog yeah come get this doppler girl
i'll say this i'll say this about janet is her name uh yes janet um oh man hold on brandon say
anything i'm trying to think uh oh here's a suggestion a lot of women
if you're you don't know what's going on to get a man you can do emt work that way you meet a man
they're not doing well you seem good bring them back to health you get to see where they live
you pick them up from there here's the problem problem, though, Bubba. All them bitches got COVID. What?
All these EMTs that dig on over these houses.
Everybody got COVID.
That's why they're over there.
Bro, you calling EMT because you're dying.
Dude, who gives a fuck if you get COVID?
One of your legs is broken.
You fell off the roof doing freaking bootleg roof work without a permit.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
Dude, who gives a fuck if you've been laying in your yard
She's not trying to get with a guy on a ventilator.
You know what I'm saying? That's a classy
lady, bro. I know, but that's how you meet
a guy to know if they're a good guy
or not. She's trying to meet a guy, I don't know,
drinks Bang Energy drinks, you feel me?
She does pain pills.
Yeah, but that's for the pain of the people
she picks up, dude.
It's transparent pain. She's trying to get high, dude. Nuh-uh. It's transparent pain.
She's trying to get high, bro.
I don't think.
I think she's that sacrificial lamb.
She's trying to get high and watch Dateline.
That's what she's doing.
And it sounds like a nice evening, to be honest.
She's that Dalai Lama, dude.
She's taking the pain for all of us, man.
She's basically the freaking third husband Jesus Christ.
Yeah, you're right.
We love you, God.
We love you, God God let's move on some
debate clubs we love him though sup Brayden sup Nemo got a king and a stinger
for y'all do you guys like ninjas more or do you guys like pirates more which
one you think is cooler which one you think of winning a fight also Theo stop
trying to get Brandon to go down to 240 if you want that smoke you got to go up
to 250 and meet him.
Yeah, you're right.
Lame slang, bust guts.
Culture vulture.
Highlight.
Dang.
250.
Dude, meet me at 260 right now.
Bro, meet me at fat.
Meet me at F-A-T.
No matter where we meet at, both of us are going to be fat when we get there, I have a feeling.
Let's meet me at Two Hundo.
Yeah.
Pirates or ninjas?
Pirates are tough.
I feel like they lost their luster a little bit with Johnny Depp and all that makeup and shit and the do-rags.
That's just a hipster from Portland with a boat.
Yeah.
And then now, pirates are really Ethiopopians they kind of own the pirate game
yeah it's my ship now them thigh ops baby they call them i'm the captain now look gray block
yeah somalia pirates yeah oh dude i'll take opens run my bad and make good coffee they do
yeah them thigh ops look man this gray block pizza shot of gray block pizza. And thank you for the support with that onward hoodie, dog.
Are they still open?
Grey Block?
Yeah.
They shut down.
I think they're still doing deliveries.
But I don't think they have any outdoor seating.
But I'm not sure.
But also, what was the guy saying?
Ninjas or pirates?
Pirates or ninjas.
Which is cooler.
There's a thing that happens when Hollywood gets onto something that they burn it out.
Yeah.
They burn it out, dude.
And they wrote them pirates into the fucking treasure chest.
I'm out.
So every now and then it happens and they just burn it out.
Make a real pirate movie.
Make it all scary and real.
Johnny Depp throwing jokes.
Has eyeliner on and shit.
Basically Chris Angel of Pirates of the Caribbean.
Yeah.
It would be good if they did a horror pirate movie.
That's what I'm saying.
A black beard?
Get real, real scary.
Dude, when I was on semester at sea, we went on a floating college,
like school on a cruise ship.
Yeah, I guess we'll call it school.
They had a couple of oceans we were traveling through
where they would say on the loudspeaker at night, you know, these are how we have to take precautions.
There's pirates in these areas.
And by pirates, they mean poor Africans.
Yeah.
They're going to jump aboard and beat the shit out of you.
But how they would do it, they'd throw a ladder up, then they'd climb up at night, sneak on.
Oh, I'd love to see you just get fucked up by some slender Ethiopians.
Dude,
look, you're talking, if it's like an Israel Adesanya, yes, I wouldn't have a chance, dude.
If it's fucking some
dude named Maki Maki,
okay? I'm talking about the Tom
Hank Somalians. Just getting their hands
on you, really roughing you up
for five rounds. He would need both
feet and two hands to fucking even try to
choke me, okay? Or him and the homies.
I'll slam that dude in a door.
Yeah, you will.
Okay?
I'll fucking tie some straw to that guy's head and fucking sweep the floor.
And you'll keep your money because it'll be in your butt.
Yeah.
Oh, they'll never find this.
So ninjas are pirates where you land on.
Your pirates are too much? Jump the shark? But also ninjas are pirates Where you land on Pirates are too much
Jump the shark
But also ninjas
Are freaking played out
Yeah I want to have ninjas
That have been cool
Since the early 80s
Yeah
Turtle ninjas
Ninja turtles
Are my fucking shit
Can you name all the turtles
Go
It's easy man
Go
Donatello
Raphael
Yep
Michelangelo
Yep
And Michelangelo. Yep. And.
Leonardo.
Boom.
That took you too long. I almost said Da Vinci.
I got a question for y'all.
What's harder to eat while driving?
Great question. A taco or some ramen?
Oh, ramen.
Ramen, unless you're in a Tesla.
Let me know in the comments below.
And if y'all want someone for a culture corner,
you know, apparently a bunch of white people watching this,
throw my name in there.
I'm a white guy.
I did 23andMe.
It came back 0.1%
unassigned.
I don't know if you want to talk about it.
Gang gang buzz.
You guys great.
Dude, that guy is hilarious.
Evan or Yvonne?
Yvonne.
That was my Brendan impersonation.
And also, ramen, I got to know what kind of whip he's in too, man.
Who gives a fuck?
The guy's eating fucking hot soup while he's driving and he's not Asian.
This is illegal.
And he's not even looking at the road.
Yeah.
And he's doing a video.
He's talking to us eating ramen.
What a power move.
Bro, this is the kind of guy that killed those 23 school kids in freaking Kentucky, dude.
Chin, will you fucking tell us?
Give this guy the what for?
This is your field.
Wait, is he eating with a spoon or a fork?
It looked like he was eating with his hands for a second.
Oh, that's a spoon?
Bro, it's dripping off
his fingers there. Is it a
spork? Yeah.
If he had chopsticks, it'd be easier.
I'm being serious here. No.
Yeah, if you're Asian,
you're also white American.
You have more control. This isn't
fear factor at all.
What are y'all doing? This isn't the challenge on MTV, man.
Sportbook.
We got to enjoy his goddamn lunch.
No.
If you didn't know he was chopsticks, that'd be easier.
Way easier.
You have your goddamn mind.
Soup with chopsticks?
Yeah.
No.
On your lap.
On your lap.
Chopsticks.
It'll be easy.
That's what you do, Jeff.
Huh?
That's what you do?
I've done ramen in my car before.
Yeah, you're Korean, bro.
On the way to work.
Yeah, but you're Korean.
You guys can do that.
Yeah, level of difficulty with this man.
A white dude eating ramen on the highway?
This dude's going 60, looking at us in his fucking phone.
What if he died doing a King or Sting it submission?
We'll throw that bowl on the wall.
Add it to the Hall of Fame.
All right. We'll dip that bitch in wall. Add it to the Hall of Fame.
We'll dip that bitch in bronze.
Add it to the wall.
Amen.
Along with Taylor's nuts.
So we're all firmly tacos on this one?
Easier to eat? I mean, it's definitely easier.
I'll talk to it.
You get a fucking gordita crunch from fucking Taco Bell.
I think it's easy to eat, man.
Dude, that's not a real taco.
That is disgusting.
Taco Bell is a place where high kids hang out
at. It's not a real food
establishment. You've never had a Mexican pizza from there?
I have, but they were better when I was a kid,
dude. Preach. They got rid of it.
They got rid of it.
How could you get rid of the Mexican pizza,
dude? There's a staple
on my diet as a child.
It's crazy how bad it got
as I got older. Oh, disgusting.
Do you think the quality of it got,
because there is also a thing where they decrease the quality over time.
It's the quality, because when I was a kid, they were pretty fucking tasty.
But do you think that's because we didn't know any better?
Oh, good point.
My diet was Mexican pizzas, Gushers, and fucking Capri Suns.
And that's why I'm thick.
Thanks, Dad.
What's this?
Just them getting rid of the...
You don't like Gushers?
You're a fucking Nazi?
No, I mean, I get it, but I just...
Just to streamline processes, I guess it takes a while.
What are they telling us here?
What does that say, Nick?
They got rid of it to streamline processes for orders.
I guess that just took too long for...
Yeah, because it's the best thing. It was two fucking hard shell tortillas fake meat in the middle
beans on top cheese sauce a little pico de gallo on top and spanish for salsa
i mean i do remember whenever you would order one, somebody who worked there, okay, who hadn't burned their hands on one of the fucking hot microwaves that day would fucking waddle over and have to make something.
Yes, it would take probably 40 seconds.
Those things aren't ready to go.
They had to hand make them, bitches, And that's why they were the best.
You get those
and you get the fucking little cinnamon
twist. Those were good.
They stopped the cinnamon twist, too.
Nuh-uh.
Goddamn.
When I go in there now,
even if I want,
I'll just ask for directions and then leave.
They do smell funky.
I'm like, how do I get out of here?
Hey, where's your exit?
Especially now that it's only, since you can't even hang out in there.
Like, I remember when they built one in our town.
First of all, somebody got arrested and they shut it down because somebody did number two in the meet there.
Oh, that makes sense.
And they had to shut the place down.
That meet was suspect.
I would go on those Taco Bells and use the shitter.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's amazing, man.
Dude, did you see Subway came out and was like, hey, you know our tuna's not real fish.
No way.
Yeah, and everyone's all up in arms about it.
You fucking idiots thought that was real tuna?
You did. You dumb. I thought idiots thought that was real tuna? You did.
You dumb.
I thought some of it was.
No way.
I thought it was maybe a 50-50 split.
What I want to know is what is it, though?
What are they saying?
Somebody isn't waiting for a judge to settle recent accusations.
What does it say, Nick?
Recent accusations that its tuna salad doesn't include real tuna among its ingredients.
The fast food chain is already appealing to the court of public opinion with an advertising blitz touting its tuna salad sandwiches and wraps as made with 100% real wild-caught tuna.
Wild-caught?
Come on, dog.
I can't even go to my fucking poppin' sushi spot in L.A. and get wild-caught salmon.
Wild-caught?
That sounds very mafioso, I feel like, you know?
So what's it saying?
It's real or not?
I can't even understand that.
Subway says it's real.
Subway says it's real, but someone filed a court order in the Northern District of California
on behalf of California residents.
The suit claims the two were tricked into buying food items that wholly lacked the ingredients
they reasonably thought they were purchasing.
Tricked? You're the dumbass that went to Subway in order to footlong tuna.
Yeah, but you ain't getting ahi-ahi, dog.
You're walking in, they have a green and yellow color scheme, okay?
Jared from Subway started it, you fucking idiots.
Theo slept with his sister.
Of course it's not real tuna.
I didn't sleep with the sister.
There was some oral. A little oral. Dude, I used to have this friend from Boston. I didn't sleep with the sister. There was some oral.
A little oral.
Dude, I used to have this friend from Boston.
It ain't gonna lick itself.
I used to have this friend from Boston.
He would be like, hey, I just got a little oral.
A little oral.
This dude was retarded.
I'm gonna say this, man.
What was the King of Sting it?
Subway tuna melt?
King of Sting it was... Was that a King of Sting it? Subway Tuna Melt? King of Sting it was...
Was that a King of Sting it?
I don't remember what he said.
Oh, no.
He's saying driving or what's harder to talk.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God, ramen.
Yeah, yeah.
Fucking ramen, man.
A double-decker goes down smooth, Daddy.
Yeah, ramen's hard to eat, man.
Comes out smooth, too.
You feel me?
You're disgusting.
Grow up, dude.
Let's see what this guy got.
But hold on.
One more thing I want to say.
Even Jimmy John said this
he said that once your business gets so big
you're just fighting off lawsuits from people
about dumb shit and that's what you spend
most of your time doing and it's sad like
somebody walked in there
ordered some tuna
got upset that it wasn't completely tuna
what the fuck are you doing
also get off Jimmy John's nuts
I'm not on his nuts bro you got a promo code I'm teaching you something tune of what the fuck are you doing? Also, get off Jimmy John's. Nuts.
I'm not on his nuts, bro.
You got a promo code?
I'm teaching you something.
TPW, 10% off Jimmy John's subs.
God, get off his nuts, dog.
Got a glowing email from his team about the professionalism of the TPW staff and our whole operation.
Really?
Yeah.
Nice.
Thank you very much.
Also send sandwiches, though, you know?
Dude, Brendan is the only person who would be kidnapped somewhere.
He gets to write one message in a bottle, and it just says send sandwiches.
With no address?
Yeah, for reals, they'll get off his nuts.
What's this gentleman saying?
Member of the village, people.
Theo, Brendan, how are you?
Nick, reporting live from Tanamoi Desert in the Northern Territory, Australia.
Yeah, Australia!
Boys, love your work.
Love the show.
Keep it up.
Look forward to it every week.
Boys, got a debate club for you.
This is Razzle Dangerously.
Hugh Jackman or Russell Crowe?
Ooh.
Well.
Russell Crowe got thick, bro.
Russell Crowe.
He's got the same diet as us.
He's got beautiful eyes, Russell Crowe, and he was in Cinderella Man.
Oh, you're right.
Good fucking poll there.
Dude, first of all, I didn't even realize until just now that he was in Cinderella Man.
Second of all, he came to the comedy store a couple times and saw me do comedy.
I actually have his number in my phone.
Oh, text him.
See if I'll FaceTime him.
And ask him if we're doing Gladiator 2.
See what he says. Look at that body and ask him if we're doing Gladiator 2. See what he says.
Look at that body and ask him if he's doing Gladiator 2.
I already bugged him about some stuff he needed to respond.
So I'm going to back off the texting.
But, dude, he was the nicest guy.
He came out to the Comedy Store a couple times.
Dude, Hugh Jackman's so talented, though.
Wolverine?
Yeah.
Can't name another movie, though.
What was the magic one?
Prestige?
Oh, hard pass.
It was great.
Christopher Nolan.
Magician, hard pass.
Swordfish?
That boy's bodied up, though.
He got on that rock diet.
It was funny.
He became Wolverine and was on the front cover of Men's Health.
They're like, oh, how'd you get so jacked? He's like, well, The Rock called me. Basically means The Rock's on a bunch of steroids. diet it was funny he became Wolverine and was on the front cover of men's health and like oh how
did you get so jacked he's like well the rock called me basically means the rocks on a bunch
steroids mm-hmm see Hugh Jackman did uh Les Miserables yeah and the hard path he also did
that singing one uh Les Miserables no oh uh great. The Greatest Showman. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Zach Efron's in it.
You don't realize that Hugh Jackman can sing.
You texting Homeboy?
No, sorry.
Ask him for me if he's doing Part 2 Gladiator.
It's been a decade or more.
I don't think they're going to get to it, Brendan.
Well, you have his number.
Only one way to find out. I will ask him. What other movie has he done? I can't think they're going to get to it, Brendan. Well, you have his number. Only one way to find out.
I will ask him.
What other movie has he done?
I can't find his number.
So I might not even have his number.
I might have literally been bothering someone who isn't Russell Crowe.
He might have gave you a fake number.
Oh, he's great in American Gangster?
Dude, he's done so many great projects, and now he produces a lot of his own movies don't say
projects don't say projects like you're in the business yeah you're right dude he's done he's
done a lot of great films that i've watched yeah beautiful mind great film i mean god when you
think bro he's underrated isn't he in a weird way yeah he's a fucking like he's like he's definitely
like but he doesn't get thrown in that category a lot of times send bro cinderella man alone was amazing damn he's done a lot of films yeah oh we did the
one on the water too remember where they're looking for something which one master and commander
mailman master and commander master andates. I didn't see it.
But I will, Russell.
Oh, dude.
Hugh Jackman.
Van Helsing.
Dude.
The Vampire Killer.
Bro, it's really a great.
This is a great comparison, man.
That's really, really tough.
The Aussies can act.
Bro, but this Australia versus Scotland, man.
It's two freaking underdog continents, bro.
Oh, is he from Scotland?
Yes, brother.
Were you looking up Nate? is he no no you're thinking of uh dude who did 300 nah he's from scotland who's that gerard
butler gerard butler oh i'm from gerard butler i was literally gonna say are you talking about
gerard butler i do sorry i've never met russell crowe, Gerard Butler. I'm thinking of Russell Brand.
I have a buddy who's real friends with Gerard Butler,
and they're at dinner, and he loves women,
and he was saying 300 came out,
and this is like currently, he's out of shape.
You just get older.
He doesn't have that 300 body anymore.
He says he'll get in a room with a lady,
and they'll be like, damn, man, what happened?
I'm like, bitch bitch that was 10 years ago
yeah i just don't stay in 300 mode bitch he's like too late
gerard butler that's my friend right there yeah that ain't your friend the pride of scotland dude
he's a good actor bro he's a good actor he was in cinderella man
dude here's the crazy i bet he could just tell people he was in cinderella man that's a great
part um he's good first of all this looks like razzle dangerously the comedian in disguise
which i could tell second of all i would love to have a wife from australia so if there's any
australian women who want to be a wife.
Oh, you want a down under.
90 day fiance, dude.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Yeah, Brendan, you think I'm marrying one of these American women with all their freaking bullshit?
Okay, I can see that.
You're on it today, Doug.
And he even got stashed up at one point.
Oh, wow.
Actually, that's a good pull right there, Nick.
That is.
You're on it today.
What else you got, Nick?
Brendan, don't move on because I'm having a nice time.
Are you going to tell us who else you know or what?
Huh?
You confused who else you know?
Sorry, we took a break from the thousands of people that you fucking know for me to name two people, and one of them I didn't even know.
Yeah, you thought you were texting Gerard Butler.
Yeah, dude.
My bad.
And I might not even know Gerard Butler, to be honest with you.
Let me make sure I do.
That's what I was trying to find out a minute ago.
It was like, do I know?
When's the last time you talked to him?
Do I know Gerard Butler?
Huh?
Maybe you're sending a text at HeyManCheckingIn.
301 question mark.
Oh, yes, I do know him.
I'd love to
see that text. No, I can't share it
because he didn't text back.
But it's not his fault. He's a great guy.
Probably busy, too. We know it's not
his fault.
We all know it's not his fault.
This is my Andrew Schultz.
Pushing the mic away.
Pushing the mic away.
All right, look, guys. I'm going to tell you something straight up, man.
What, man?
I bet on a couple fights UFCfc recently yeah i've won some
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35.
Let's see what this guy has to say.
Yo, what up, Brennan?
What up, Theo?
This is AJ coming out of Illinois.
I got a debate club for you guys today.
If you're getting a new dog, are you going to go with the classic pure breeds,
you know, your Labs, your Golden Retrievers, your German shepherds, are you going
to go with one of them mixed breeds? You know, basically anything mixed with a poodle, those
hypoallergenic hitters. I personally got a mixed breed dog. Mine's an Australian shepherd and a
poodle mix and he's the shit. But I'm just curious about what you guys think. Are you going to go with them purebred
breads? Are you going to go with them
mixed breed hitters? Gang gang.
Buzz buzz.
Ooh, wet snout
daddy. Oh wow.
It seems like they know each other a little too well at the end.
No judgment.
The guy's also from Edmonton obviously
based on the jersey and you can tell that
he gets a little lonesome up there.
You know that.
I got that hitter right here today, man.
The new tie-dye, which is on sale right now.
And I'm also going to say, that's a good question.
Purebred's for the rich.
Purebred is for the rich.
I don't think you have to adopt, man.
I'm going to stick with Andy Santani on this one and say, get your dog that you want.
Yeah.
Also, if you adopt, I don't need to hear about it.
Yeah.
Every dog part.
Oh, he's an adoption.
I don't give a fuck.
Yeah.
He's also been sneaking out at night and fucking hitting the pipe.
Yeah.
I also don't trust him either.
Yeah.
It's kind of like you got that friend who's a felon.
I know he's recovered, done his time.
Yeah, but he ain't babysitting.
Nah, can't be at the crib alone.
Yeah. Yeah. You invite him to the party early, so he leaves early. Hey, yeah. covering done his time but yeah but he ain't babysitting no i can't be at the crib yeah yeah
yeah you invite him to the party early so he leaves early yeah yeah hey yeah we're cutting
the cake at two why don't you get there about noon yeah you're looking for a companion not a burden
yeah yeah that's the thing man i don't need a dog with emotional issues and trauma yeah i'll just
call theo if i need that you feel? I don't need a dog.
Praise God, dude.
You want an emotional support animal, it's called This Past Weekend.
You can subscribe to it whenever you want.
But I'm going to say this.
Chen, why don't you help us out here, man?
I know you guys have a lot of issues with petting your industry.
Your parents have a dog, right, Chen?
You know, he's not doing well.
Yeah, I bet he isn't.
He's probably living in fear every time the stove fucking gets turned on.
As soon as the water's boiling, he freaks the fuck out.
Yeah, dude.
Every time his lunch has a little bit of carbon monoxide in it,
he gets a little nervous.
He's probably worried that he's going to roll an ankle
and then he can fucking barbecue. Yeah, every time. He's like, that he's going to roll an ankle and then he can fucking barbecue.
Yeah.
Every time.
He's like, oh, this Frisbee's hella sharp that they're throwing.
Yeah.
I'm just joking.
No.
That's true, though.
My people, unfortunately.
Not all of them.
No, you guys do what you got to do.
There's a lot of stray dogs in Asia, man.
It's a food source.
The poor people in Korea, when I first visited,
we actually,
me and my brother
were walking through the marketplace.
My parents didn't prepare us
at all.
You saw some hounds hanging?
I literally saw dogs
cut in half,
like stacked.
I was telling my mom,
like, what is this?
She's like,
don't worry,
just keep going.
Those HDSs, baby,
those half dog stacks.
Yep.
Poor people eat them.
Racks on racks on racks. Racks on racks on racks.
So did you.
Racks on racks on racks.
Racksies.
Racksies.
So did you try a full rack of Dalmatian?
I couldn't eat the whole day.
The whole thing.
I couldn't eat the whole day.
You ain't never had dog tail.
The whole day.
It was scarring.
You didn't try none, Jim?
No, I would never.
I love dogs.
Did your family?
No, they've never.
Someone actually ate my dad's dog when he was a kid.
Yeah. He was scarred too.
His neighbors.
You know, but here's the thing.
We can't look down on it, man.
That's the thing.
They're poor.
Yeah.
What are you going to do?
Bro, and also, half the food in America has spiders in it, dogs in it, cats in it.
The freaking tuna isn't even real.
It's like the Mexican pizza.
Who knows what's in that thing?
What are we doing?
Yeah.
So, yeah, when people get judgmental
about how other cultures have to eat to survive,
man, they get some dick. Now, I stopped at bat soup.
Bro, get off the bottom of my dick,
fam. Yeah, dog.
That's what I'm telling these people, man. I think
you eat what you have to eat, man. You know?
If you want to fucking be some fancy
girl who's like some
dog activist because you couldn't find a
husband, then go over to korea
and protect all the dogs get a shield okay and get a sword and protect all the dogs batman of
the fucking dogs out there yeah tiffany all right whitney yeah yeah just because i want to eat a
little horse i'm a bad person yeah just because i want to have a little caballero does that mean
horse mexicans eat horse.
Thank you.
Yeah, Mexicans eat a horse now.
That's what I'm saying.
Everywhere you go, and we're the ones getting stuck with the same shitty meat,
and then we get articles it's not even really meat.
Give us the pup.
Give us the horse, man.
Can you imagine how jacked our kids would be if we were giving them horse at lunch at school?
It's like Alistair Overeem.
That's what he said.
He got so jacked.
He was eating horse meat.
I tried horse meat.
Yeah, he did a ton of steroids, but yeah, you're right.
But if you eat enough horse meat, you'll get the steroids.
It's in there.
True.
Let's move on to some Sink My Ink.
Brenda, Thea, I got a little Sink My Ink for you.
What do you think about that jailhouse hitter, boy?
That 17-year-old, back of the party, don't remember tattoo.
Nah, you remember that one, though. And we got that, gee, you dead boy.
What?
All right, I'm sorry.
Love you guys.
Keep doing it.
And gang bang, Buzz, Chuck. My boy's made some bad choices in his life well start with that g unit
tattoo i don't know dog g you know was so good remember how good they weren't good enough to
get a chess piece book book get him up oh remember that no i don't holla bub bub bub
he's going down i don't know because I'm around I don't know that song
Chin remembers it
you remember it huh Chin
no
but hate it or love it
that's a classic
G G G G you know it
yeah
go shawty
it's your birthday
dude
that album
one of the greatest albums
of all time
people applaud Jay Z
it was Lloyd Banks
50 Cent
Curtis 50 Cent
whatever his name is
Gunshot Wilson
or something
and then who
Who was the other dude
The other guy that was crying
On a recording
That Young Buck
Young Buck
He was crying
He was crying
Marbury too I think
Young Buck was crying
Yeah
Was in the background
Eating Vaseline
Was he that older
50 Cent said he was gonna
Cut him from G-Unit
He started crying
He started groveling
It was so bad
It was terrible
Yeah but that's a tough thing to hear
Yeah
On the radio show He's like like, I'm going to cut.
No, he secretly recorded him on a phone conversation.
And he's like groveling.
It was really sad.
And he's still killing it.
Let's go watch that.
I'm not killing it.
It's so good.
Oh, I'd love to see that.
Uh-uh.
I don't want it.
And was he going like this?
I want to be in G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G What if he made people stutter it out when they said it?
21 questions.
Dude, he had so many fucking hits.
This was just the album, right?
Yeah, this is Get Rich or Die Trying.
But that's him.
That's just 50.
Dude.
I'm patiently waiting for this.
Dude, that album.
What up, gangsta?
Bro, that album.
Look at the hits.
P-I-N-G. Many, many.
High all the time.
How's that one go?
Tengaree, LSA,
I don't need shit.
In the club.
You can find me in the club.
It still bumps today.
It still slaps.
Like my style.
Remember Free Yeo before he got murdered or whatever?
Oh, Wangsta?
Remember Wangsta?
Wangsta?
Wangsta, sticky, you ain't got nothing.
Bro.
Yeah, they're still not good enough to get a fucking tattoo of him, though.
What?
I don't care how drunk you were.
Where's your G-unit tattoo, bro?
I didn't get one.
Because I wasn't in prison like this guy was, dude.
I don't know if he was in prison, man. We dude for selling perks bro now 50s higher in gianni yeah we got freaking the twink gianni's working
over there right he's on power right oh he's repping everything he got a blm tattoo on his
back he was at the snl after party with machine gun kelly this saturday johnny was yeah he's an
essence phase performing at Essence Fest.
He's on the cover of Ebony Magazine.
Yeah.
Dude, he's a backup dancer in the Whitney Houston hologram performance.
He's fucking killing it, bro.
But I'll tell you this, man.
The show that they're on is pretty wild, man.
People dig it, right?
Yeah. I don't watch it.
My brother loves it, though.
It gets tons of advertisement.
It's like a soap opera kind of.
It's kind of like... It's like a black people's soap opera yeah it's like 902 say it's like 90210 kind of like
it's like melrose plays like yeah yeah i'm gonna be honest i haven't watched it never but i haven't
watched it either tim dylan said it's for dumb people.
Look, I'll go out on a limb and be like, this storyline is pretty slim.
You know, there's like flashes of guns.
There's like a lot of looks across the way, like uncertainty.
A lot of like secret meetups, like espionage.
It's soap opera. I'm not into it.
It's soap opera, dude.
It's black soap opera.
It's going to be on for a long time, though.
It's doing really well.
And there's like a bunch of spinoffs. Johnny get his own spinoff? Yeah, he's a lead on the spinoff. It's in opera, dude. It's black soap opera. It's going to be on for a long time, though. It's doing really well. And there's like a bunch of spinoffs.
Johnny get his own spinoff?
Yeah, he's a lead on the spinoff.
It's in its second season.
Oh, damn.
And he's one of the favorite characters.
He's like the token white guy.
He's like himself.
He's white Mike.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
This guy got another Sink My Ink.
And he's dating a black girl now.
Yeah, standard.
Yo, what up, King and the Sting?
This is Alex from Phoenix, Arizona.
We got to sync my ink for you.
Now it's not my ink, but it is Kyle's.
So shout out to Kyle in the Facebook group for posting this.
It's the self-portrait tattoo.
Me personally, I think it's a little homoerotic to have another man's face on your body,
but it is what it is, and it's not my body.
Thanks, you guys, for all you do.
I think it's the best podcast in the world.
It just keeps getting better.
Shout out Brendan, Theo, Chappelle, Kat, Nick, and Chin.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Gang, bro.
And your neighbor is leaf blowing a little too early in the morning for me.
Or this guy, you know, he's working from home.
It's 2 in the afternoon.
No matter what,
his neighbor takes away,
obviously the neighbor
takes care of the driveway.
Yeah, you're right.
And I respect that,
but hey.
Now this isn't homoerotic
because this dude
got a tattoo of himself.
Yeah.
And Steve-O was the first
one to do that.
Yeah, and Steve-O
had the largest one
until he met another guy
who out-largest one in.
Ooh.
So now he's the second largest.
I thought that was
Jeff Foxworthy.
I'm serious.
That's Jeff Foxworthy if he failed.
Is that Jeff Foxworthy?
That's a failed Jeff Foxworthy?
I don't know.
That's not Jeff Foxworthy.
This guy looked like he came in last place
in the Jeff Foxworthy contest.
I don't think so, man.
Dude, is that Jeff Foxworthy? That's what I think so, man. Dude, is that Jeff Foxworthy?
That's what I thought the whole redneck thing was for.
Jeff Foxworthy, dude.
This dude likes to fuck, bro, on the left, dude.
Dude, definitely Zanbar and Chill over there, bro.
You know you're a redneck if you have a picture of yourself tattooed on you.
Yeah.
Definitely a blue comedy tour in Chill, huh?
He's watching Ron White white on repeat yeah blue
chew.com hell yeah little blue chew.com little blue collar comedy tour oh yeah have the blues
fuck i'm tired i don't want to fucking go we packed my bag man i'm fucking pissed man
uh we'll close out with a couple king and her sting
what's up, guys?
This is Eddie from Chicago.
I have King it or Sting it for you.
I saw an article earlier about Elon Musk putting chips in monkeys' brains for Neuralink.
I sent the article to Nick.
My question is getting a chip in your brain, King it or Sting it?
Well, I know a guy who could use one.
I think you and I could both use a little chip in the brain.
I'll take that.
I'll tell you.
I ain't talking about a Dorito, homeboy. I was going to say who can't handle a chip in the brain. I'll take that. I'll tell you. I ain't talking about a Dorito, homeboy.
I was going to say, who can't handle a chip in the brain is freaking Chappelle's dark-ass dog.
That dude couldn't handle a chip in the brain.
He'd only put a little bit of it in.
Yeah.
He'd be like, chip, I'm hungry.
Who's talking chip?
Man, I'm hungry, man.
Yeah, he's always hungry, huh?
Yeah.
Feed him, man.
He works for you.
He has money.
You get your own food, dog, you know?
Get a Pringles.
Shut the fuck up.
Dude, some shark.
They caught some shark doing only fins.
Unless this brain technology company, Neuralink, has implanted a device in a monkey's brain
to make it play games in its own mind.
This is legal, but we can't eat Dalmatian.
That's what I understand.
Yeah, this is legal, but I can't have that fucking
faux tuna at Subway?
I can't order a fucking
Dalmatian
bone-in filet
at the fucking
steakhouse at Saltgrass?
Dog, I can get a monkey to play video games
with me, but I can't get a Mexican pizza?
Yeah, there's a fucking
legal chump now who has ideas in his head. monkey to play video games with me but i can't get a mexican pizza yeah there's a fucking legal
chimp now who has ideas in his head there's a legal chimp who's getting ideas sent from a computer
but i can't get a facial reconstructive surgery on a fucking owl that i found in my neighborhood
dog elon musk can get us to mars but i can't get a direct flight to Nashville on JetBlue. I know.
Come on, bro.
Facts.
Bro, you're telling me I have to lay over in fucking Salt Lake City today for no fucking reason?
Yeah, it's frustrating.
Come on.
Oh!
Come on, Elon Musk.
I'm pissed.
Sorry.
I forgot you guys have headphones on, man.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I didn't mean that.
And here's something, girl.
This could be my sister, too.
King at our sting it.
Would you date someone in a wheelchair?
Yes, I would.
Hell yeah.
Or that uses a walker?
She's going wherever I want.
What?
She's going wherever I want.
Don't be a fucking asshole.
Wait, what'd she say?
Sorry.
That was perfectly timed.
I know.
Play it again.
Let's listen again.
Brendan, listen.
Unbelievable.
Kingdursting it. Would you
date someone in a wheelchair
or that uses a
walker?
And Brendan,
don't be a fucking
asshole.
Gang gang bestest.
They sound similar.
Oh, I'm an asshole.
One joke about fucking wheelchairs.
I'm an asshole.
Brendan, you fucking have ripped everybody that said anything.
That's the show, man.
But these are good people, Brendan.
We're all good people.
This is the show, man. No, we're all good people this is the show man
no we're not they're trying to get life advice
man
I'm not an asshole
I'm just saying I think it would be dope
to date a girl in a wheelchair man
you can go wherever man
not if they have brakes
on it man
you just pick them up
you could I couldn't do that I remember my girlfriend sprained her ankle one time Not if they have brakes on it, man. And also. You just pick them up. Uh-uh. You could.
I couldn't do that.
I remember my girlfriend sprained her ankle one time in South Carolina, and I couldn't
even carry her to the car, and I felt so sad, man.
God, I remember that.
I had to set her down like seven times on the way to the car.
Take a break.
Yeah.
Had to have a water break.
Oh, yeah.
I felt so bad.
Do you keep asking if she has liquid IV?
I had to keep leaning her against the wall and shit.
Literally, it was two blocks.
And she rolled her ankle pretty good.
We were playing hoops.
She was good at hoops.
Was she a big bitch though?
Huh?
That's different, man.
She didn't win them halfers.
She rolls her ankle.
You guys playing one-on-one basketball.
No.
You guys carry a big ass to the car.
But yeah, I kept having to set her down.
I set her down in a car too and it was
hot she got all pissed yeah i think it's god it was unbelievably sad i feel sorry i'm sorry about
that yeah i'd like to know some background why she's in the wheelchair though we don't know if
she was she just had a wheelchair there she was on the ground the chair was to the side of i think
they should have wheelchair ufc and I've been saying this.
That's not a bad idea.
And they just ram into each other.
Murder ball was tight on MTV.
But there was no murder in it.
That was the thing.
I thought in the end somebody died.
It's just people fucking throwing a ball around.
Yeah.
That's kind of like the tuna subway stuff.
If you're going to say tuna, I need tuna.
If you're going to say murder ball, I need some murdering.
Yeah, dude. Don't fucking tell me murder and give me mackerel. tuna i need tuna if you're gonna say murder ball i need some murdering yeah dude don't
fucking tell me murder and give me mackerel
oh and there's chin in the background number six sneaking over
and look i wonder if that guy if it's easier to be like that and eat ramen or eat tacos that's
what i want to know what's easy man a man, a wheelchair, tacos, or ramen?
That's a great question.
What's easier to wheelchair and eat?
Taco.
Look, if you're a young lady, and what is her name?
Rebecca?
Johanna?
Did she say it?
Larissa?
I don't think she said her name.
Havana?
There's a wheelchair boxing on YouTube.
Street beefs But the
YouTube it gets a little
The weirdest thing on YouTube
Is those backyard fights
That's what those are
It's always
The wheelchair and the grass
Yeah
Shogun
Versus Fat Allen
You know
It's like crazy
It's always one real guy
And then one just
Dude
It says Hell on Wheels
Versus Mr. Mud
Oh
Mr. Mud's not in a wheelchair And just beat the shit out of the guy in the wheelchair?
No, they're both.
It's always like the same name as horses.
They're like, oh, it's Dennis' ambiance versus Tuesday come early.
And you're like, who the fuck are these fighters, dude?
And it's one blind guy versus one fucking black dude on steroids.
Dude, we should go to one.
Oh. Do a King of the Sting.
Live from one of those?
Yeah, and you and me are the commentators.
Damn.
We just light them up before they get in the ring
and then get out of there.
No, no.
They're going to beat the fuck out of us.
That's how we get beaten, dude.
And you're going to have to defend us.
And you're not going to.
I'll have to fight Dada five times.
Make you rest in peace, right?
No, Kimbo.
Dada's still thriving.
Yeah, he just had kidney failure when he fought Kimbo.
Yeah, he died.
His heart stopped in the middle of the night.
He stopped in the middle of the fight.
He died.
Kimbo head-butted me, dude, in my hometown in fucking 19.
In 2002.
And I'll stand by that until I die.
The only concussion he got.
The young lady in the wheelchair, her name was Frankie, actually.
Shout out to Frankie, man.
Keep doing your thing, girl.
Keep rolling on.
Sting Kings, though, dude.
If they had a fighting group called Sting Kings, you know those guys fighting? King of the Sting Kings though dude if they had a fighting group called Sting Kings you know those guys fighting
King of the Sting Fight Club
we get some cash
you quit being a little bitch
with that grand
they get cash and hot sauce
Poirier's hot sauce
Poirier's putting the belt on him
you know the commentators
Chin the ref
I know we're supposed to
I'm going to the parking lot right now
Damn daddy
Nick taking to the streets
Wait y'all's fight is supposed to be today
I know
Literally it's supposed to be
Today or yesterday
Oh fuck
February 2nd
When was it supposed to be
I didn't know we made a date
I missed that
It's like the end of January
You feeling froggy Nick
We got you right there
I'm saying
If you guys bring in boxing gloves, I'm down too.
That's my time and opportunity.
We got some boxing gloves in Theo's fucking studio right there.
Two pair?
Dude, no.
Look, those are gloves that I use privately to train in.
I'm auctioning those off for the Good Fight Foundation.
Nah, fuck that.
They'll be worth more money if these two get a little blood on them.
Yeah, they are dry currently.
Who's right-handed?
Both of us.
No right hands.
That's our fighting league, no right hands.
No right hands.
It's like when Jason Ellis fought.
Shane Carwin got knocked out.
That was a bad idea.
They tied one arm behind Shane's back.
Really?
And Jason had both, and Shane knocked him out.
No way.
Knocked him out cold?
Bad idea.
Wow, that's awesome, though.
I told him before.
I was like, dude, don't do this.
He did it.
That's brave of him, though, man. Damn, we got army hammer calling him jason ellis is brave as hell yeah he is and the crazy part
is i grew up with a dude named jason ellis that was always on pills and shit similar yeah but
could he skateboard no that's what people know but the best thing was dude we're at a party one
time just hanging out and out of the blue he was so high he leaned across the table and he told like this hot girl that he wanted to go down on her in front
of everybody and what she said she's like fuck yeah it was so strange bro shane's so big is he
oh my god ufc heavyweight world champion bro he knocked out frank mayor with an uppercut against
the cage and then he beat the shit out out of Brock Lesnar but gassed out.
Oh, my gosh.
And that's it, huh?
Dude, the war Shane and I used to have were nuts.
Look at his wife telling him, get up.
You get up.
Get up, baby.
Hey, guys, that was a good one.
That was a bad idea.
This is like Conor after the Dustin fight.
Is this Conor in a couple years?
Hopefully not.
I'm joking. That was ice cold. Conor's a legend.? Hopefully not. I'm joking.
That's ice cold.
Conor's a legend.
He went back in against him?
Crazy.
Yeah, what a psycho.
No, I think they stopped, right?
No, they didn't.
They're not stopped, Brendan.
This is going.
Shane got some cheeks on him, too.
That was a cheap shot right there, though.
Shane plays dirty, man.
You know, he's a water engineer.
Shane's a smart dude.
What does that mean?
He uses steroids?
In Texas.
Oh, he knocked him out again?
Yeah.
Old, right?
No, I think that time he just knew he'd had enough, too.
That one's the show.
Kudos, though, bro.
Jason Lewis fought this guy?
Dude, that guy, it's like seeing a bear in the woods.
It's a bad idea.
Yeah. Put your food in a box and stay in the woods. It's a bad idea. Yeah.
Put your food in a box and stay in your tent.
Or climb up a tree.
A bear can go up a tree.
Yeah, you're right.
You've seen bears scratch their back on trees?
Yeah.
It's cool, huh?
Yeah.
We'll close it out with this Kingdor Stinger.
Does he not look like Armie Hammer?
No, this is me, dude, after my first comedy special.
Brendan, Theo,
Adam here from Toronto.
Got a King it or Sting it for you.
With the winter season upon us,
turtlenecks.
Wait, who is this,
Ralph Waldo Emerson, dude?
With the winter season upon us?
Also, you live in Canada, bro.
That's your season.
Yeah.
Okay.
There's only one season, man.
Sorry, man,
I interrupted you there. Please go on, brother. With the winter. There's only one season, man. Sorry, man. I interrupted you there.
Please go on, brother.
With the winter season upon us, turtlenecks keep you warm, also kind of make you look
like an uncircumcised penis.
They make you look small.
Speaking of which, there's that big dick in the sky right now.
We got the CN Tower.
Oh, that's mine.
Got the Skydome.
There's yours, Brendan, right there with the white roof.
Theo had a great time at your show back in
February, and Brennan was supposed
to do a meet and greet me and my brother actually back
in March at your show here, but
unfortunately the world went crazy and that got cancelled.
So, love to have y'all back at
some point. But anyways, love y'all.
Let me know what you think. Gang gang. Buzz buzz.
Buzz buzz, young turtleneck
man. Turtlenecks are pretty spicy,
dog. You look
fancy in it
Oh, you seem rich
You seem like a ski person
Yeah
I went to some rich guy's house in Nashville
And everybody's wearing turtlenecks
And it was garbage
Well, you wore a turtleneck
I wore one for a birthday
To that
Well, you wore a white turtleneck to that fucking
Kid Rock's 50th
Oh, was it Kid Rock's 50th?
I thought you guys were reigning the Capitol That wasn't me so you saw a rich guy wear it so then you're like oh this
is what i'm gonna wear to a kid rocks party no well i knew i knew that that i that i needed to
get something nice mine was more of a one of those like ambiance necks not the tight was a
turtleneck no mine is the thicker fuller fat ant turtleneck dude i see a guy in turtleneck, bro. No. Mine is the thicker, fuller, fat ant turtleneck.
Dude, I see a guy in a turtleneck.
I think that guy fucked.
You do?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, thanks.
Probably drives a Mercedes.
Fucked.
Oh, yeah.
Probably has coke in his back pocket.
You wish.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
Dude, we're a turtleneck on the plane today on that layover dog sauce on
sauce on them daddy i love salt lake city but some of the airports some of it's uphill and
some of the parts you know and it's a stretch when i go from concourse a to c you looking at
three mile uphill hike son dude one thing i always wanted to do is either in the madrid
airport or the atlanta airport go for a jog when I have a long layover.
You do that in Chicago.
Like, literally.
See, they have that ambiance neck.
Dude, that's neck neck.
No, it looks like you wore that a few times and got stretched out.
I could have, man.
I've been doing a lot of neck work.
Yeah.
Praise God, dude.
God damn.
Is that a white power hand signal?
Who is this guy?
Dude, that guy is either super successful or he's just lost.
That guy is awesome, whoever he is, dude.
Yeah, he's in the bathroom of an overpriced Airbnb as well, I'll tell you that.
On the episode where we were talking about this, Theo snuck in another one.
At one point, there's a freeze frame he
goes three other people had it he slipped it by us that's how they roll out there man see you at
the capitol i love how they're like all these treasoners on the Capitol. It's like 19 fucking dudes from arts and crafts rolled in there.
And just one dumbass got shot.
The one lady.
It was a man.
No, it was a lady.
Uh-uh.
She got shot.
She's like, let's get him.
She was the first one who got shot in the neck.
That would sting, dude.
I don't know if you even know.
It was kind of a game over, you know?
I think you know.
Oh.
Oh.
I don't think it hurts.
I think it hurts for like a split second.
She's like, let's make America great again.
They got shot right in the neck by the security guard.
Oh.
Well, can't be strong in the capital, man.
Lesson learned.
Learn from it, Theo.
If you're going to do it again. Learn.
Learn from it.
Dude, I was there.
Look, I was on the hydration team.
My job was to keep everybody hydrated.
Liquid IV.
Liquid IV, guys.
Promo code.
I'm in Tampa end of the month.
I think 26th, 27th, Tampa, Florida.
Come get some, Tampa.
Is that it, brother?
Safe flight back.
Thanks, brother.
Good to see you, man.
Gang.
Now let me broadcast about this little podcast king
because he got Brad Sting because he fought back.
Theo got that hit a great block back.
Shopped like Caressa even though he never rocked Mask.
And you know Cat's going to take your breath.
Lucky she got nine lives because she fresh to death.
And I hope I don't come off strong or make you log off
when I'm in your DMs and I send another hot dog
Just kidding, didn't send that pic, that would be too premature
Just like Nick, I'm slick, I'm sick, too legit to quit
They be calling me Chappelle cause I got the tricks
And tell me how am I supposed to live without Chin singing
He gon' take you on a date and just do a lot of drinking
Ain't no thing, chicken wing wing It's the bat with the rings
And the beat, who can swing? It's the king and the sting
No kidding, yo, you better listen King and the sting, killin' any opposition
Bumble and mouse, the bee and the critter Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, go get that hitter
No chance of pumpin' them brakes No makin' no stops, no takin' no breaks
Cause K-A-E-S
Take first place
It's King and a Sting
You can rap, sing, whatever you want
No one's gonna beat Lil' Bratz
It's not happening
Really? You think so?
I think you'd be surprised
I really do
Hi, we're Tom
Years ago they tried
Uh, one second
Years ago they tried to Okay Years ago they tried. Uh, one second. Years ago they tried to.
Okay.
Years ago they tried to tell me you don't got the stripes, Webby.
Now they call me Conor McGregor cause I got a tiger belly.
I'm prophetic, Machiavelli.
Thuggin' like Tupac.
Call me D'Elia cause my pocket's heavy.
Cheeto cause my rock is ready.
When it's time to rock, call Bill Burr to get his chopper ready.
Now the brows palm sweaty.
Probably vomit mom's spaghetti.
In this state of mind, always try to keep a balance
So I'm younger than D'Elia, but my soul is oldest gallon
Yo, Brendan looking like he live with 16 kittens
And Theo looking like he yells 4 when fishing
I'm from tight, no foes, don't matter
God bless me like I got bad allergies
This boy might just burn white rappers
Like Thick Boy Bike Club, burn those calories
No kidding.
Yo, you better listen.
King in the stink.
Killing any opposition.
Bumble and mouse to be in the critter.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Go get that hitter.
That hitter.
No chance of pumping them brakes.
No making no stops.
No taking no breaks.
Cause K-A-T-S.
Take first place.
It's King and a sting Outro Music