The Golden Hour - Episode 109: The Koy, the King and the Sting

Episode Date: February 19, 2021

Jo Koy fills in for Theo in-studio while Theo Zoom's in from Nashville. The guys talk Snow Days, Jo Koy's New Film with Steven Spielberg, Brendan's Stache, All New Roast My Hosts ...and Clown My Hounds, Professional Adult Films vs Amateur Adult Films, Running Red Lights, Relationship Advice on When To Say "I Love You", UFC Call-Outs and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:01:26 I'm not touching you, dude. What's up, Daddy-O? What's up, Playboys, huh? Look at Theo. That snow out there, huh? Yeah, I see you got that little sugar pineapple there with you, huh? Yeah, sugar pineapple, dog. Now, are you doing the podcast from Restoration Hardware, or where's your new studio at is that the inside of a u-haul truck budget cut yeah guys we had to pull over actually
Starting point is 00:01:52 because the engine volume was uh really funny so yeah it's definitely smells like definitely some really good wood uh thinner or something in here? Wood thinner? Yeah. Whatever that stuff is. Yeah. Remember Woodshop? Oh, I love Woodshop. Oh, the best. And your teacher always was missing a finger. Like no matter what school you went to, they were missing a few fingers.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Yeah. There was always injuries. And it was like always, yeah, it was always like the drug dealer kids were like building like a birdhouse and they would like cry at the end of the year and shit. But they were always really good at it like damn man how's druggie dave so good at this yeah a real knack for it and they would write like xanax on the windows of it and shit like they were always kind of taking it to like a weird level for the birds yeah by they i mean theo vaughn as a kid you had a seven-story birdhouse who knows baby who knows how's it how's it going out there mr
Starting point is 00:02:46 von how's that how's that snow that's what you get for leaving us man enjoy that fucking ice cold weather bud dude well hey i'm glad you made it through the moguls of that sentence i like how he abruptly ended with bud bud i. I was going to double down on bro again, so I changed it to bud. He should have just went, I'm out of words, bud. Bud. He should be able to press a button when he knows he's not going to get to the end of a sentence. Hey, when do you guys get the rest of the wood for the back? That'd be nice.
Starting point is 00:03:24 It's kind of distracting. Yeah, man. Black curtain doesn't mean anything. That just means there's a kitchen behind you. Yeah, you look like a shitty YouTube magician. Are people washing dishes behind you, Theo? Yeah, they are. Yeah, they are.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Hey, guys, we need more ramekins. Dude, why is every kitchen always out of ramekins? There's always one dude. He's always like a gay guy. Like, we don't have any ramekins. Dude, why is every kitchen always out of ramekins? There's always one dude, but he's always like a gay guy, like, we don't have any ramekins. Every time you give him a shit for the studio, then we're going to have to change it next week. He's laughing, but it hurts.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Yeah, he's laughing, but he's going to take it out on Nick's face after the show. Theo hits his employees. Oh, that's great. Just virtually, and it's only just virtually and it's obvious you're doing that 70s show again that's dope you know it's it's snowed here man it's snowed big time over here oh and now you're a little you're a little swamp lizard so you're not used to the snow. I was born in the snow. Yeah, I was not born in it, man. I don't, I mean, I believe in it, but I just don't like it that much, I guess.
Starting point is 00:04:34 It's kind of shocking. How much snow are we talking? How much snow are we talking? Like real snow, or is it just like a little, you know? Maybe four inches. Yeah. You ever look at postcards during the holidays holidays and it's like that one postcard that's just covered in snow yeah that's nashville yeah that's fucking nashville yeah that's how they're acting right now theo called me yesterday like dude we're sledding down capitol hill we got
Starting point is 00:04:57 a canoe oh my god dude gross no yeah it's like when I call my dad and tell him about the weather in Colorado. Yeah, man. Cool. No one gives a shit, man. What else you got? I got shorts on. I'm glad you went ice fishing, but I'm wearing shorts. You're wearing shorts, and I can't eat in restaurants. Are you wearing no-show socks? I am. Shorts are good except for church, bro.
Starting point is 00:05:23 That's where I draw the line, son. You might as well come out the closet if you're wearing shorts to church praise all all praise god man i was saying i don't know how much longer we have joe coy on these shows man he's doing movies with steven spielberg and just blowing up man i said we got him for about another week are you really joe coy yeah we got to see how the movie does. No, no, no. I take that back, universe. No, the movie's going to do great. It's going to crush.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Yeah, it's going to crush, man. It's Forrest Gump 2. Yeah. It's a prequel. It's Rainforest Gump. It's a prequel. His dad is actually Jokoy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. is it rainforest gump yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:06:07 it's jungle gump yeah it's jungle gump man well rainforest gump was better than jungle gump no i don't think so you guys kind of already kicked it off but uh we brought back some of our favorite uh listener roasts from the youtube comments and joe Coy's got a list to roast both you guys. Oh, should I read them now? Yeah, why don't you read a couple? Okay, cool. It says, I got one from Squirrel Bong, which is already good. He said, Brendan seems like he would wait in line all day
Starting point is 00:06:38 to try the new size of hot dog. I guess. Is that to eat? Yeah To try a new size of hot Oh I gotcha Yeah now you got it He's a connoisseur
Starting point is 00:06:50 He's a connoisseur Yeah he's a connoisseur Yeah That one's alright Shout out to Squirrel Bong Sounds like he's doing good That one's good Exactly
Starting point is 00:06:56 This is from Adam Brown I'm sorry Brendan It's about you again Switch him up Switch him up Okay Well let's do this one Since I said it's about Brendan already. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:07:07 Hey, man. Brendan's mustache looks like a barcode that'll never scan. That's funny. That's funny. That's good. This ain't coming up, sir. Oh, shit. This ain't coming up, sir.
Starting point is 00:07:26 That's a self-checkout bad boy you got going on your lip, B. Sale decline, homie. You scan Brendan's mustache and it comes up lube. What? I don't want lube. Theo. Oh, wait. This is from Mr. Painkiller616.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Jesus Christ. Mr. Painkiller. I don't want to follow any of these guys just by their names. Theo looks like he shops from Bass Pro Shops. Wait. Did I say that right? Yeah. I read that right.
Starting point is 00:08:00 He said, Theo looks like he shops from Bass Pro Shops for a living. That's funny. Oh, he's a personal shopper at Bass Pro Shops? Okay, I'll take it. Somehow made it shoplifts. First of all, you guys didn't read it right, man. Come on, guys. No, I swear to God.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Shoplifts. Shoplifts. No, it doesn't say shoplifts. Yeah, Theo looks like he's in a shoplift. Hey, first of all, don't make me look like an asshole. It says shops from. All right, Theo? Sorry, good boy.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Your producer fucked this one up. Another black guy for Nick coming up. I'm going to read what's on the paper, and I'm going to do it one more time. Theo looks like he shops from Bass Pro Shops. And you two can go fuck yourselves. It'd be easier if it was Theo steals from Bass Pro Shops. I don't like the fact that Theo's inside of a U-Haul truck and he's trying to
Starting point is 00:08:54 correct me. Yeah. Read it right, asshole. Dude, this is an 18-footer, dude. Okay? Watch your mouth. How dare you say 18-footer, son? Alright, where are we at now? This is from Drinny. Is that Drinny?
Starting point is 00:09:12 Who cares? Who gives a shit, right? But it looks like he makes eye contact while eating popsicles. I can see that. He does. I can see that. All deep throat of popsicles. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:24 He gets all the way down to the wood part. Yeah, look, yeah. He gets all the way down to the wood part. Yeah, look, you're right. All the way right to the wood part. I'm going to deep throat one of those. Oh, a lot of times he gets splinters in his butthole when he's eating them. Yeah, Brendan likes to put the popsicle in his asshole after he's done eating the cold part. Let me just put that warm stick in there.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Here's one from iPokeeyEyesOut. Oh, I read it like pokey. I read it like pokey like tuna. Yeah, that's fine. You know that. I like pokey. I thought that's where they were going with this, but it is iPokeeyEyesOut. Alright, you ready? Damn.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Theo looks like he smells gas before filling up. I know I do. Look at him there. I really do that. Yeah. Yeah, I really do. Oh, my God. That's good.
Starting point is 00:10:18 What is that, 87? That's at 87. That's my audition tape for The Wire right there I don't know if you guys can see that image right there or not Jason Hollander You ready for this one? Theo looks like he gets paid in crossbows I think Theo likes that one actually
Starting point is 00:10:40 He's not even laughing Mr. Painkiller616 again? Painkiller Hey, he's not even laughing yeah um uh mr painkiller 616 again painkiller hey he's on a roll uh brendan looks like he had uh i uh oh okay i'm sorry brendan looks like he had an epiphany from some 41 song a sum 41 song i'm sorry i don't know who sum 41 is yeah that's horrible that would have been better if i i knew who that was. I kind of get it. He looks like he had Epiphany from a Sum 41 song. That's where he's getting his inspiration from some punk rock. He's got yellow on.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Oh. Oh, it's gotcha. It's an eh. Yeah. All right, what's next? Do another Theo one. The sous chef one. Do you see that one?
Starting point is 00:11:23 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I like this one. This is from James Richmond. Theo looks like a sous chef at a women's prison. That's funny. Look at him there. No more peas for you, Brenda. Yeah, I shit in the beans.
Starting point is 00:11:41 He looks like the chef and the inmate. Bryce Hamilton. Theo looks like a taxidermist intern. That's funny with the hamster shirt on. Love it. Am I just reading these bad or what? No, that's good. We're good.
Starting point is 00:11:59 No, it's not your fault. They're not good. No, it's not your fault. They're not good. That's good for Roast My Host. I think it's better if we're all in studio there's a little delay when he's hearing him he can't respond but i thought they were pretty pretty good not bad no i think they're great man that was great yeah i miss you theo i miss you too man i want to know more about the film when's it coming out may 3rd i shoot it i shoot it in vancouver and daily city it's amazing man are you are you looking for two white guys
Starting point is 00:12:31 you're not gonna believe it that's all we're looking for yeah we're coming back i knew steven spielberg yeah man he said something about diversity. Yes. What's your role going to be, Jokoy? Huh? What is your role going to be? I'm lead. It's about Easter Sunday with my family, and it takes place one day. Just complete chaos during that whole day of Easter Sunday. He wrote it.
Starting point is 00:12:59 I didn't write it. It was my pitch. It was my idea, and Ken Chang helped me write it. So it's amazing. A little like death at a funeral type vibe, like a whole family. Yeah, exactly. That's fun. Who's this big baby?
Starting point is 00:13:14 What up, Brandon? What up, Theo? It's your boy Benny here, all the way from the UK, the sunny UK shores. What a state of this shit all sometimes. Beautiful. Got a debate club for you. Now I know Theo, you ain't procreated before, and I think humanity thanks you for that. Brendan you got two.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Let's hope they got their mum's intelligence, eh? True. So my debate club is sons v daughters. I mean you got that no quitter son, or that all hitter daughter. So the debate club is sons v daughters. I mean, you got that no-quitter son or that all-hitter daughter. So the debate club is some of your daughters. Gang, gang? So cute. So cute. Congrats, man.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Daughters are different. Do you have a daughter? I don't have a daughter. Yeah, we both have sons. Yes. It's a little easier with sons. You're still scared of the world for them. But with daughters daughters you're talking about a world of different way different factor and then you also think about how you were as a guy coming up you're like i don't want her to meet anyone like me correct so it's a scary i feel like it's a scary world for women unless they're in hollywood yeah i think sons is dangerous bro because son's got that danger dick on him yeah
Starting point is 00:14:27 and a dick is full of danger bro if you think about it yeah 100 hands down you never hear somebody's weapon ever oh you don't ever hear somebody oh yeah larry did something awesome with his dick the other day for someone no never i mean the the previous guy just jerked off on his phone and called us. Yeah. He called us. Yeah. I mean, you should have a license to carry your penis. You know, if you have a gun, a loaded gun, you need a license.
Starting point is 00:14:56 A penis, you need a license. There's a lot of people walking around with loaded penises that are very dangerous with their penis. Yeah. It's unbelievable. You got to be careful. careful the penis you never make smart choices never penis doing the thinking you should never say this to a girl you sure you're on birth control yeah yeah and that's when it happened that's yep yeah a penis man you got to think about that man a Little daughters are friendlier.
Starting point is 00:15:25 They're sweeter. Little kids don't give a shit, bro. They will kill you. They'll kill your wife. Yeah. They'll burn your crib down. They don't give a fuck. They would sell crack if they could, if they knew how to do business. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Yeah, you're right. Little boys are violent, dude. Violent. They are, man. And they're mean. And then also, thank God for Google, because your kids, I don't know how your kids were. My kids were my kids my son asked me the randomest shit that i have no clue about yes like that how long did it take
Starting point is 00:15:50 to get to mars what the fuck yeah i don't know i have to look it up almost 600 days 600 days that's very true by the way my dad made up so many fucking things. When you think back on it. Oh, he lied so many fucking times. A lot of shit. Full of shit, bro. A lot of shit, man. Lied about everything. Yes. But would you rather your dad lie or have to go look up the answer like some lame ass dad, dude?
Starting point is 00:16:16 I would rather my dad fucking lie to me on the spot. At least my dad knows what's up. Yeah, I know. No, because the problem is my dad would lie. Then I'd go back to school. And he used to tell the lie. And the kid's like's like no your dad's full of shit that's a fucking now my kids can go back to school and drop facts on those little bastards yeah but then people are gonna be like oh your dad just googled it at least my dad really sold it yeah yeah and my dad smoked
Starting point is 00:16:38 but when when he was living with me he used to smell you really sold it like chain smoke what did he saw he was a chain smoker so he really sold it like everything he said just looked real because he was he would take a that's fair nice long drag at the end of it yeah did you do you lie to your kid ever always always i've yet to tell my son the truth about anything yeah you know why you know why boys are resilient you know why they're they're they're crazier yeah they because they never break anything yet until they break something that's when they stop that's when they chill did your son break anything he broke his arm it he slowed down after that but i mean before that he was diving and jumping and i'm on this diet and my my son wanted me to
Starting point is 00:17:22 eat this can i'm like dad can't have that and he's like oh and my son wants me to eat this candy. I'm like, Dad can't have that. And he's like, oh. And he just gets it from his mom. He goes, oh, because you want a six-pack? I'm like, you had like a six-pack. And he grabs my stomach and goes, you have a pack now. All right, dude. Keep talking shit. Fat Patrick, boy.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Should we move on to some relationship advice? Yeah. These people need help. Yeah, I'm sure we can help. Someone look at us. Look at us. look at us. Look at us. What's up, King and the Sing?
Starting point is 00:17:52 Listen, I love what you guys do. I need you guys during this whole pandemic thing. This is crazy. I watch all of you guys' podcasts. Right now, I've been watching you since 2014. And I've been watching you in the UFC as well. So, King and the Sing, or relationship advice. I've been with the girl for as well. So, um, King understanding it or relationship advice. Um, been with the girl for two years.
Starting point is 00:18:12 We just got married and her parents have a bunch of property. So we're going to move into the property, but in two different houses, you know, her parents are going to live in one house. We're going to live in ours. And, um, so what do you think King understanding it? You know, by the way, I'm really close with her dad and her mom so um we'll see how it goes do you think it's gonna be kind of weird do you think it's kind of like not really appropriate um what do you guys think i don't think it's that big of a deal i'd like to see the real estate i'd like to see the houses but if you're close with like i'm really close with my mother-in-law father-in-law they live like a block from me it's
Starting point is 00:18:43 nice having them around man yeah full-time babysitter oh yeah times you want to go on a little date night you need a break come over help out with the kids yeah they're right on the property I think it's a tight move you make it work yeah you can just send your baby to the babysitter just walk across go to that house right there mommy and daddy are it's mommy and daddy time yeah that's perfect yeah I agree with you on that one. Yeah. Um, what I don't agree with is he has the same curtain as a Theo that's behind him.
Starting point is 00:19:10 No one should have black curtains in their house. Yeah. But I feel for this guy. I, he's very sincere. It is a hard time right now. The pandemic has put him in a situation. Uh,
Starting point is 00:19:22 but I don't want him to think that going to the parents house is a bad thing it's actually a good thing if you get along with them like if you don't get along with the dad you don't get in and if you don't get along with them it'd be a night oh it'd be an absolute fucking yeah like could you live with your parents no not i can either not at all after two days i'm like you guys good not even across the street it'd be tough oh it'd suck it would suck it would suck murder would happen yeah yeah and i don't want to do that um yeah but you don't turn the pain obviously he's not you know this is going to be a good move for him smart move smart move what do you think deal i think if you're young and like you're 19 or 20 then it's kind of a little bit more stressful
Starting point is 00:20:06 because the parents are worried you guys are over there doing sex and being naughty and they're sneaking around. But I think if you're older and more of an adult, that kind of stuff's all gone out the window. So, you know, you just have to be a decent man. And you're getting free house. This guy sounds like he's getting free house. He didn't say he was paying for nothing. This dude, dude you know he's just got to spend time with the daughter shake
Starting point is 00:20:28 the dad's hand every now and then fucking try to time when he goes out to the mailbox so he ain't out there at the same time as them that kind of shit so he could you know not get caught up in too much verbal hang time you know but i think uh i think it's a good move man and yeah they have babysitters. Then you have a babysitter right there. I think families need to stick together. If you can afford to have them on the same property, it's not a bad idea. You could always do a little electric fence as well.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Yeah, that's not a bad move, a little electric fence. Yeah, teach your stepmom the hard way. Yeah, get a badass guard dog. You know he can't come over here unless he's inside, man. Just keep your distance intact. Yeah, get a badass guard dog. You know he can't come over here unless he's inside, man. Yeah. Just keep your distance intact. Yeah. I like that.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Yeah, just keep telling him, say, muffin's in heat. Say, muffin is in heat. You can't come over. Muffin's in heat. Sounds like he got himself a little six-figure queen over there, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has a good setup.
Starting point is 00:21:21 Yeah, he married into money. Good job. Yeah, tight move, dude. You won the lottery. Listen, man, your thick friend here is on a diet. I'm cutting down from 272. That's right. I'm big, and I got the help of Athletic Greens.
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Starting point is 00:23:46 Make ship happen Yeah Alright, this guy's got another question He also has a nose piercing What's up guys? This is Eddie And this is Iris On some relationship advice
Starting point is 00:23:57 Don't put our names in it Don't put our names in it That's not our real names That's not our real names No, I'm talking about you Alright This relationship This relationship's gonna last a very long time Anyway That's not a real name. That's not a real name. Shut up. All right. This relationship is going to last a very long time.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Anyway. You got to get out of this one. Whoever takes out who on the date. So say if I take out her on a date, should I drive or should she drive? She takes me on a date. Should she drive or should I drive to her? The date. So, King and her staying it.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Thank you, Theo. And thank you, Brendan. Theo for being King and her staying it. Thank you, Theo, and thank you, Brendan. Theo for being funny and making her laugh, and Brendan for being good-looking and making her wet while she wrapped her. Wow, thank you. So I'm not handsome, Eddie? Thank you.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Thanks, Eddie. Thanks, Eddie. I'll just be the ugly guy. Yeah, they basically call Theo ugly. Yeah, this relationship's going nowhere. Yeah. I don't mind if the chica drives, man. I don't have a control problem. So if she has a dope ride.
Starting point is 00:24:59 Yes. It's great. Yeah. I like it when the chicks drive, to be honest. Yeah, I don't mind it. Yeah, I don't mind it at all, I don't mind it a big deal Yeah, would you would you mind if they paid for dinner? No, please pay for dinner pay and drive. Yeah. Oh and by the way, oh fuck me later. Yeah
Starting point is 00:25:14 Yeah, also open my door bitch. Yeah. Yeah, let me decide if we're having sex. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that'd be fun. I'll be deal you got a problem if if one of your uh women pick you up and you gotta go well for me it for me it makes me agitated because the women drive you know real you can't really like unless it's danica patrick then all these other bitches drive real questionably yeah that's fair so it's a lot of being patient when you're driving with them. And I like to sit on the gas. I like to go for it. I like to take a chance at dying every time I get on an expressway.
Starting point is 00:25:56 And a lot of these ladies, thank you. And a lot of these ladies aren't like that. They want to look around. They'll get to a stop sign and look around and shit. I'm like, what are we doing? You know? You know that you're so right about that because I do like to risk it all. So when she's driving and we're at a red left arrow and there's no fucking cars around, go.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Go. Just fucking go. Go. But then it's a fight. It it's scary i can't believe you're asking me to do that bitch go go it's a red left no one's here i'm hungry that that's why you got to make them take ways because ways of force you to stress you out yeah makes you take the shortcuts people yeah no man i don't think rebel when I take the red left. I go hard.
Starting point is 00:26:46 I go hard. I go hard. I go. I don't care if stoplights are red or green. I go if there's no one around and I can go or if there is someone. If there's no police around, I go. I go. And I keep going until I get where I want to be.
Starting point is 00:27:00 I run lights all the time. All the time. Don't understand that. Yeah. If I'm at the airport like four in the morning, there's on the road i do not wait for lights none of the lights they don't even exist in my world nope yeah people always ask me how'd you get here so fast there were no lights no lights man not one fucking light same same but yeah i think it also if you take in somebody on a date, what about this?
Starting point is 00:27:27 What do you guys do about picking the movie? Are you guys willing to go to a movie that your lady wants to go to? Or will you guys say no? Be honest with me. I say no. Yeah. I don't say no, but I make it very uncomfortable. That's something you should watch with your girlfriends.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Yeah. Or I like to laugh. I like to say that a lot. I like to laugh. Let's watch something on Microsoft. Y'all say, you like stupid shit like that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Yeah. Damn. Just low-key insulting. Yeah. I'm like, really? That seems pretty stupid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:00 All right. I'll watch it though. And the whole time, I'm like, yeah, dumb. Yeah. All right. I'll watch it, though. And the whole time, like, yeah, dumb. All right, so moving on, one more relationship advice question. What's going on, Theo?
Starting point is 00:28:12 What's going on, Brendan? I got some relationship advice I need. You know, my girlfriend, my first really serious relationship, she got me a don't touch me but keep touching me hoodie for my birthday. Literally everything I asked for. Awesome birthday, Sash. relationship she got me a don't touch me but keep touching me hoodie for my birthday literally everything i asked for awesome birthday sash you know birthday girls wearing on the slopes took me to highway valley for the weekend and you know every time i hang out with her it's just i learned something new about her we laugh every time we hang out she's she's just like my best friend
Starting point is 00:28:45 you know we've been dating for about six months now i've known her for a while though and i just i i don't know when it's time to say i love you i feel like i feel like i i feel it i know she's kind of she said a couple times just like kind of slipped it in there with some stuff i just it's my first relationship so i don't really know you know what i need to put it out there because i definitely feel that i she sees me looking at her you know with my smile all granny she knows i'm thinking it but like i said it's getting wet first got it you drop the l-bomb yeah i'll be like tereshima on that girl let's do this man test the waters out um here's another thing we know you're in love
Starting point is 00:29:34 you're wearing a fucking sash you spent six minutes tell us how in love you are yeah man uh first of all it's six months um ask us this question in a year yep it's gonna be different uh you're actually it's gonna be a different phone call like hey i hate this bitch yeah really should be advice how do i break up with my girl yeah no you're obviously in love it also sounds like this is the first time you've ever been in love yeah drop the l-bomb though people think too serious with the L-bomb. Yeah, I don't understand that. I throw it around. I throw it around, too.
Starting point is 00:30:08 I throw that. I told my fucking postmates, love you, man. Yeah, man. Drop the food off. I say love you to everyone. I love saying love you to somebody, and they cringe like, okay. They don't know how to respond. Did anyone hug you?
Starting point is 00:30:22 Yep. I say love you like hello. Yeah, I throw it around. Pretty loosey you're there man i like to say i love you after i pay at those uh places off the new jersey turnpike you got to put that money to the man or whatever i say i love you right there point blank oh that's nice if it's man or woman you know and theo is a love guy you think yeah theo says love you a lot, man. Thank you, bro. You do.
Starting point is 00:30:47 He does. Thank you. Depends what day you catch him in the week, but yeah. He always says love you, man, to me. You catch him on good days? Yeah. Different people get different reactions. Yeah, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:31:00 But I will say this, man. Yeah, dude, this dude, man, if you do any more stuff with this lady, she's going to leave you because you're going to be with a man, bro. You got to tighten up. You're already wearing. Yeah, you got to do something, dude. You're wearing the electrical fucking onesie you got on right there. You got to tighten up, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:18 But here's the thing. A lot of times guys will, once a girl says it, then a guy will just say it back without even thinking about it. Yeah. Then you're stuck in a relationship for two years wondering if you really do. You realize you don't, and then you leave. People put too much power in the word, though. It's all right to throw it out there. Nick, Chin, you tell your girls you love them?
Starting point is 00:31:37 Yeah. That's a no from Chin. I've done it before, but we don't say it often. I respect that. It doesn't really count it before, but we don't say it often. I respect that. So it doesn't really count. Nick, you gotta say it. I say wild shit when I'm buzzed. I say it. He doesn't say it.
Starting point is 00:31:52 I say it all the time. You gotta say it, man. Let her know, Chin. No, Chin's a cold-hearted fucking killer, man. Yep. Did your parents say it to you? Oh, I have so much love in my family. That's weird
Starting point is 00:32:05 I know you have a lot of love But did they tell you they love you? Yeah But Joe doesn't know that I was friends with my girlfriend For like over 20 years before we started dating So it's a weird thing We said we loved each other before But now it's like
Starting point is 00:32:19 In love, it's kind of a It's a tough one Yeah But I am Definitely, I love her Yeah, it doesn't sound like your love but we'll we'll figure that another day yeah i don't know if i would ensure this love question for him like it's a tough position it's not though throw it out there dude don't put so much power in the word it's not a big deal yeah yeah chen that sounds unreliable it sounds like
Starting point is 00:32:39 the i would if i were an insurance agent i don't know if I would give coverage on that love policy of yours. You would invest in his love stock, you're saying? I just think it would be a really high premium. It sounds uncertain. It sounds like the windows aren't fully sealed off. It sounds like they could only have some maybe 12-year shingling going on or something. Yeah. As opposed to something larger, something longer time.
Starting point is 00:33:03 I just don't know, man. I don't know. Do you think he's insecure about something and he's not telling us directly? He might like men. I think he's Japanese, dude, and they don't fucking say it. Are you talking about Chin again? What? Yeah. He said yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:19 He said yeah. I'm going to be honest, dude. They never say anything and then they fucking jump off a building or express themselves in crazy sex art or something. You know what I'm saying. That's crazy. Yeah, he's right. Let's be honest.
Starting point is 00:33:33 If we're going to talk tomatoes, let's talk tomatoes, bro. Yep. I love it, man. All right. You guys want to play the name game? Oh, my boy. Hit it. This will be good.
Starting point is 00:33:44 Jelly roll. Ha-ha. This will be good jelly roll. Ha-ha. Guess who's back. Woo. What's up, Bubbas? I figured we'd do a thing today called the name game. In honor of President's Day, I want you both to list the name of every president you can name or think of. Can't wait to hear this one.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Man. And so this time we're actually going to hear this one. Man. So this time we're actually going to put a timer on it. Chin's got it. Should we do 10 seconds? You three are going around the room. Theo, Brendan and Joe trying to name presidents. So what do we do? One president each or we just all... Just one president each.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Yeah, one. You go, I'll go, Theo goes. Okay, so we start now? Go ahead. Abraham Lincoln George Washington Easy one I'm going to go with Grover Cleveland Wow He definitely looked this up before
Starting point is 00:34:34 JFK? He didn't have it Stop 10 seconds? No, no, no 10 seconds for each person So just like once someone hits it So keep going
Starting point is 00:34:44 How would you ever think that it's 10 seconds for the whole. So just like once someone hits it. So keep going. Jesus Christ. How would you ever think that it's 10 seconds for the whole game? The worst game ever. We should also join Jeffery. We can name all the presents in 10 seconds. How would you ever think it's 10 seconds for the whole game? He goes, time, time. Nope, that's it. They only got three.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Jed is great. We've played this game 40 times. Just do great. We've played this game 40 times. We've played the game 40 times, man. My bad, Chen. You're right. You're a good guy. You're a good guy. Who's up?
Starting point is 00:35:15 Me? He said JFK. George Washington. Oh, no, I'm sorry. You fucking lost. Bush. No, no. I want to keep going.
Starting point is 00:35:24 Bush. George Bush. Yeah, I was going to say George Bush. What? no. I want to keep going. Bush. George Bush. Yeah, I was going to say George Bush. What? But you didn't. I got 10 seconds, though. But you're just going to say something to say that. I got Bush.
Starting point is 00:35:35 Go, Theo. All right, dude. I'll say Donald Trump. Oh, that's a good one. I'm going to say Obama. Nice. I'll go with Biden. Nice.
Starting point is 00:35:51 I'll go with Gerald Ford nice i'll go with um gerald ford got it carter nixon nice all the reindeer fade on reindeer games sorry that was a joke um i will go with uh with your boy Stephen Douglas. What did you say? Stephen Douglas. Stephen Douglas? Did you just say one of the Douglas's? Kirk Douglas and Michael Douglas's younger brother. Is Stephen Douglas a president?
Starting point is 00:36:19 Stephen Douglas? I'm going to go with Charlie Sheen. He was a president. He was Charlie Sheen. He was a president. He was? Stephen A. Douglas was a senator. No, he wasn't. He was a president, Nick. Of the United States?
Starting point is 00:36:35 I think so. Well, keep reading his wiki. I am. Yeah, just senator. Top billing. Senator Stephen A. Douglas. He looks presidential. Deal lost.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Me and Joe keep going or do we just count Theo as a loser? Cheaters. Yeah, you guys can keep going if you can. Creeps. Clinton. Biden. Nope, you already said that. Joe, you're winner.
Starting point is 00:36:58 Damn. Fuckin' Brendan. I'd like to get a King of the Sting hoodie if I could. We'll send you some merch. Coffee mugs. We're going to send you a Stephen Douglas presidential shirt.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Bro, he was president of the South. That is true. Is that true? Which still doesn't count. That's fine, which is still wrong. Pick someone from the Confederacy. Yeah, that was weird, man. Look, my Confederacy is Confederacy of Dunces.
Starting point is 00:37:27 That's my favorite one to support. And that's written by Robert O'Toole. After Steven Jackson, he was going to say, Colonel Mustard. Colonel Mustard. You guys left George W. Bush on the table. That was an easy one, but that's pretty much all I could have gotten. Yeah. After that, whenever the pictures start turning black and white,
Starting point is 00:37:46 that's when I forget. It gets a little dicey. Yeah. Alright, that was a fun one though. Thanks, Jelly Roll. Thanks, Jelly Roll. I'll say this, man. Isn't it weird how the people that remember you, even those people, a legacy only lasts
Starting point is 00:38:01 so long. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's crazy, crazy bro there's a shelf date for everything for the world we keep spinning it just keeps going somebody dies you're like oh my god how are we gonna move on yeah we move on we do move on real fast get back to business yeah but but even in entertainment it's like stuff only has like after like another generation nobody it's it's gone kind of it's's like, you know, when I have to explain to my son who Bo Jackson was, like he sees it in documentaries,
Starting point is 00:38:28 but it was like, to me, I'm like, that was Superman. Do you not understand that? Well, it's the same with like the LeBron Jordan. It's good that the last dance doc came out. Young kids could see it.
Starting point is 00:38:40 I'm like, oh, Jordan was dope. It's like, yeah, man, that's where the argument comes from. He's a clown, my hound for us. clown this hound boys first of all it's a real hound not all these bullshit dogs you got on here pugs and fucking snickerdoodles and shit this is a raccoon trained dog second of all it's a tax paying dog he's winning some money. PKC champion. UKC night champion. Pretty good one. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:10 And he does a service to the community. He gets rid of all them fucking little trash pandas running around. Holy shit. What the fuck is that? Is that dog killing too? Is that Satan? No, that's Iris. That guy's girlfriend is still yelling in the background.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Don't say my name! Don't use our real name! Not our real names, you stupid! Then he tried to pretend like it wasn't their real names. He's like, those aren't our real names. He tried to cover up. He's like, babe, those aren't our real names. I forgot about that oh my god hey why would you need a dog to chase raccoons away is it that big of a fucking problem
Starting point is 00:39:52 i thought we love raccoons i like a good i love raccoons they got the cool hands i don't like this dog me neither what raccoons dog i love raccoons too they look like little burglars yeah man they got the cute hands. They got real hands. Yeah, real hands. They hold carrots and stuff. I've seen one hold a coffee mug. Yeah, they go through your trash. Who gives a fuck? Yeah, who gives a fuck? It's trash. That's why you
Starting point is 00:40:15 threw it away. Fuck your dog. Nah, man. This dog is obviously, he said it won some awards, you idiot. And what I'm going to say is this. Sorry, I was talking to Brendan. idiot and what i'm gonna say is this sorry i was talking to brendan i mean and what i'm gonna say is this also what competition was this nope but do you why do you want to kill a raccoon for they're violent their mother nature's fucking homeless people dog they're violent beasts they sneak in your house at night they'll steal your
Starting point is 00:40:42 sugar they'll take your fucking kid if they could drag it off they don't give a damn i doubt that highly theo you're full of shit look they walk man more people they walk they stand on their feet and walk yeah they'll take away your like empty trash trash goodwill clothing they're great man more people when i was from dogs yeah dude look how cute that is look you just got soap i guess oh sugar it was sugar i think look at that you want to kill that theo fuck you looks like a little burglar man bro they have hiv on their paws dude they are going through a lot no they go through a lot dude there's videos of them using intravenous drugs there's videos of them uh doing sex outside there's one smoking crack in India. There's a lot of videos of these animals on the internet
Starting point is 00:41:27 doing not cool things, man. I've seen that. Yeah, you see them in Skid Row out there? I still have compassion. There are a lot of diseases, too. Aren't all animals, though, outside? They all carry some shit, man. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:41:43 These homies are about that life, fam. These bitches are about that life, you know? Some people have a real fear of raccoons. I don't get it. I don't get it. They're the cutest fucking things in the world. I'm going to say fuck that dog. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Yeah, well. I think as long as they let them fight, raccoons and animals should be able to. What I don't like is they go hide, and they they play this kind of like cat and mouse game i would like to see them really go at it almost like they do with those fist fights in the backyard those backyard fights oh that'd be cool yeah little street panda fight league yeah i like that pay-per-view yeah but not much okay you know we just got hit by a winter storm out here, and we're in the winter. And so if you want the winter, baby, they got it. Mother Nature's serving that shit up one icy spoonful at a time.
Starting point is 00:42:36 So you got to take care of your yard right now. And I'm not talking about your yard that's outside of your home. I'm talking about that body yard, baby. Hair, body hair. outside of your home. Talking about that body yard, baby. Hair, body hair. And the Lawn Mower 3.0 Tremor is the best hygiene tool for the modern man.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Treat your dick and your body. Treat your different cracks and crevasses. Treat them right. Whack them out. Get the best tool for the job. Don't get cold feet this winter. Take care of your body. Bust it out.
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Starting point is 00:44:52 Call 1-800-GAMBLER in Indiana or 1-800-9-WITH-IT in VA. You know what I'm saying. Call 888-532-3500. Move on to some King of the Stands. Brandon, Theo, what's going on? Culture Corner, shout out you guys as well. Nick Chin, 3,500. Move on to some King of the Stingers. Brandon, Theo, what's going on? Culture Corner, shout out you guys as well. Nick Chin, love everyone there. I got a King of the Stinger for you guys.
Starting point is 00:45:11 So cryptocurrency, we've been seeing it all over the place. Bitcoin a few years back blew up. Everyone made a fortune except for me. Now we got this Dogecoin hitter, this meme hitter. So I want to know what you guys think about cryptocurrency. Let me know. King of the Stinger, gang, gang, hitter. So I want to know what you guys think about cryptocurrency. Let me know. King it or sing it. Gang, gang.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Buzz, buzz. I love it. Can I say something real quick? Yeah, please. The oldest, youngest face in the world. Yeah, it's weird. This guy is 46, 17. Benjamin Button.
Starting point is 00:45:38 Yeah. What the fuck is this, dude? He's got grandkids, but he gets carded to the movies. Yeah, it is strange. You're right.kids, but he gets carded to the movies. Yeah, it is strange. You're right. 46, 17 over here.
Starting point is 00:45:48 He's 46, 17 years old. Yeah, it's tough to tell. Hey, man, I just want to, you know,
Starting point is 00:45:54 I want you guys to roast me. I'm retiring from 27 years at the post office. Who is this guy? That's a great point. I don't know much about crypto. know uh elon musk swears by it it's weird to me when actors and shit demand payment in crypto dude just take the fucking cash and buy your own crypto well it's it's that fucking easy yeah i don't understand crypto either i don't shop online i like dollars uh i like to stack my dollars. I like to wrap my dollars.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Plus, I don't want to fall into this internet-style lifestyle. I want that to be a choice. If I want to buy something online, I'll do it. But I want to be online completely. Everything. Can people hack into it? Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:46:43 If it's internet-based, I don't know who's controlling this fucking thing, who owns it. It's not a real bank. And you know what else? I want to make fun of other people's money. You know what I mean? Yeah. The American dollar is so dope. When you go to other countries, like, what the fuck is this?
Starting point is 00:46:57 Yeah. That's not a dollar. Yep. But with crypto, everyone's got the same shit. So yeah, that's a good point. And you got to remember your password, too, for crypto. Did you see that one criminal got caught and he had like $17 million, but they were trying to get his password and he couldn't remember it?
Starting point is 00:47:11 Yeah. The money just stays there. It's floating. It's in iCloud. Yep. I'm good with that. Yeah, it's kind of crazy, man. Everybody and this young fellow or sir, he said a while back that it blew up a few years ago and everybody
Starting point is 00:47:27 made money but him. Everybody I know lost $3,000 about five years ago. Bro, exactly. Everyone I know lost money. Yeah, I don't know anyone who's made bank up. Not one. And everyone keeps talking about, oh, it's making so much money. I'm like, no one hit it when it made that jump.
Starting point is 00:47:40 It sounds like the trendy thing to say. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But the jump is definitely, look, I'm in on a couple coins. You know, I'm in on some Tron. I'll be honest.
Starting point is 00:47:49 I'm in on a little bit of Nano and a little bit of Algorand, bro. I'll be honest with you. You know? I'm in on some ETC and some ETH, bro. I went deep. Wow. So, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:59 I'll admit that I'm fucking mild. I'm exposed. But it's definitely fascinating. But it's like if it all disappeared tonight, I would have no one to call, no one to ask. And also then here's the crazy part. I don't even know if I would admit to people that I'd lost the money because I'd be ashamed. Yeah. So then you have a ton of people just ashamed that they threw their money into a fucking wishing well that they don't even get to sit on the side of and have a cigarette.
Starting point is 00:48:27 Yeah, a digital wishing well. Yeah, if your money or you forget your password, what's customer service? Yeah, that sucks. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? There's nothing, bro. I have an iPhone 8 that I kept because I couldn't get the password. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:39 So if I'm holding on to this iPhone 8, imagine if I have $25,000 worth of cryptocurrency. It's just floating. I still have Hotmail. I still have Yahoo. Hell yeah. Let me tell you this. Let me tell you this mind blower right here, Yokoi. Yes.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Brendan doesn't have a YouTube account. What? Yeah. Oh, I don't have a personal one. I have it for my YouTube shows. Yeah. Yeah. That's I don't have a personal one. I have it for my YouTube shows. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking crazy, right?
Starting point is 00:49:09 Is that, are you dumb? That's crazy, right? Well, no, because. Well, look, let's see what. You don't have that. Let's put that on the IG swipe up and see what people vote. Okay. You're like reminding me of my dad when CDs came out.
Starting point is 00:49:22 He's like, never. Never. That's just a fad. That's what my dad when uh cds came out he's like never never that's just a fad that's what my dad said cds yeah i should probably do one yeah yeah sorry it just blows my mind every day when i'm like oh man i'm like i want to i don't know i just want him to be in. It just blows my mind. That blows my mind. Oh, I'm going to tell you a deal. Boston sent me a seasoned assist for you because you keep leaving comments on the pictures of them. He said it's starting to creep him out a little bit.
Starting point is 00:49:55 Because he's fine as fuck, son. What do you want me to do? Comment that he's an ugly child? Anytime I post my son Boston, there's one deal gets on. They're like, damn, Shody got back. Bro, he's an ugly child. Anytime I post my son Boston, one deal gets on, they're like, damn, Shody got back. Bro, he's beautiful. She's that diamond in the rough, fam, you know?
Starting point is 00:50:13 I'm just saying, man. He asked me to tell you to back off a little bit before he gets authorities involved. What I said the other day was nice. What'd I put on there? Y'all taking my dime to the bank, eh? That's great. And even if you look at a picture on his face he's wondering what's going on dog you know what i'm saying even he's a little concerned that these freaking wild boys got him out on this trail you know by the way this isn't
Starting point is 00:50:37 brendan's uh instagram it's someone else's yeah i post on someone else's oh you missed the post on February 6th, so you got to go comment on. Oh, no, I got in there somewhere. Yeah, he's deep. He was probably one, number one. You usually show up top for me. I was pretty late maybe on it.
Starting point is 00:50:56 That's great. You know, I try not to comment on everything. I know she's got a life of her own. Yeah, because you'll get flagged. Yeah, they're flagging child predators now on Instagram. Which, look, we didn't get to vote on that. Jesus Christ. But I'll do it.
Starting point is 00:51:13 I'll definitely back off a little, man. I say stay consistent, Theo. Tiger likes it, but little one's getting worried, man. You know what? I'm going to start chiming in. Thank you, good boy. Oh, yeah, you got to see this hottie, dog. You got to see this hottie.
Starting point is 00:51:32 What's up, Cats crew? I got a King of the Stinger for you guys. That surgery hitter. That body repair. So this is the elbow. Two plates, two screws Nine pins and a six inch rod In the forearm
Starting point is 00:51:47 First rod I've ever had put inside of me I don't recommend it I don't like it Probably never going to happen again So yeah the question is Can you understand it Surgeries, sometimes they can help Sometimes they can be harmful
Starting point is 00:52:03 Throughout the rest of your life so let me know what you guys think uh gang gang bows bows does anyone have plates in here uh i have the worst accident ever what what was it compound femur fracture broken tubula and fibula how'd you do it motorcycle oh and my my bone stuck out about two inches. No! It was probably like the whole bone was sticking out. You want to see it? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Let me show you. It's so disgusting. Yeah, I want to see that, but I thought you had a picture of the bone sticking out. No, no, I'm going to pull it out. Let's see that cock, Daddy, while you at it, huh? Oh, looks like a shark bite. That's where the bone came out. Oh, damn.
Starting point is 00:52:43 That's a tough spot to break. Oh, wow. The worst. How long ago was that? Oh, man. I was 15. Oh. Worst accident ever.
Starting point is 00:52:54 So surgery. Oh, that's me. That's you before and after the accident? That's my sister. At least you got a little Burger King out of the deal. Yeah, man. My sister was a G, man. She moved out of the house. She was already moved out at that point i think she was 17 or something wow and uh
Starting point is 00:53:09 and she was working at uh wendy's full-time but i didn't like wendy's and she kept bringing me and i kept asking for burger king and she came literally every other day and brought me burger king how long were you in the hospital oh my god my God. Three months. Oh. Yeah, I was in there forever. And now you have a metal rod in there? No, they were able to save my life. You know, I still remember my doctor's name, man. Dr. Wigman. Wow.
Starting point is 00:53:32 He was a G, man. He let me curse in the operating room. And I remember I was just cursing at him because he wouldn't let me sleep. I go, just let me sleep. I want to go to sleep. He goes, we got to keep you up, kid. So I started cursing. He goes, me whatever you want say whatever word you want And I kept cursing calling them all kinds of they kept laughing
Starting point is 00:53:51 But uh yeah, I still remember his name. He saved my leg He goes I'm gonna try and save your leg without putting any rods in there cuz you're I was 15 Yeah, good on him goes. I don't want yeah, and he did it did it do you have you had any surgeries besides that hair transplant? I love surgery. But I can't believe you had three months at 15 years old when you were in the hospital. You see those little bars, Theo? The bars with all the little bolts and shit? They had to build.
Starting point is 00:54:19 You got to remember, this is 1984. So advancement was like, it's not like it is now. So they built like this structure they had maintenance build this structure and uh they drilled a hole through my shin and put a pin through it and then they clamped the ends of the the the rod and pulled it with weights so they build like this traction pulley system on this little housing thing that they did and literally pulled my leg straight god who, who's your doctor? Dr. Wigzo's?
Starting point is 00:54:46 I know. But he said, if we do this, we don't have to worry about a rod. He goes, I really want to pull the leg straight and let it grow together slowly. Jesus Christ. And that's what happened. Damn. I bet you have to get an erection with a damn pulley now. Yeah, I jerked off.
Starting point is 00:55:03 I jerked off so many times. You'd have to. I had to, bro. I was going crazy. You jerked off. I jerked off so many times. You'd have to. I had to, bro. I was going crazy. You can't let them win, bro. You can't let them win. No. Couldn't let them win.
Starting point is 00:55:12 I would like to say, what did this guy ask us about? Surgeries. Oh, yeah. I like surgery. I like it because you go there. They care about you. They're nice. They feed you.
Starting point is 00:55:23 They put you to sleep. They wake you up. It's almost like going through like a there. They care about you. They're nice. They feed you. They put you to sleep. They wake you up. It's almost like going through like a child infancy again or childhood. It's like the childhood you miss. They come and check on you every now and then. They're nice. Some of them's hot. Some of them's thick.
Starting point is 00:55:36 They got all kind of people coming in there. And they give you meds. They make sure you're okay. Can you read? They take you for a walk. I really, I prefer it. a walk it's I really I I prefer it I hate it I hate it oh I hate the hospitals at all cost yeah hate them hate them what was the last surgery you had to go with my nose oh
Starting point is 00:55:58 really not like a cool Hollywood nose yeah Mirko cro-c smashed it with his elbow. So I had to have reconstructive surgery on my nose. Jesus. How long did it take to heal up? Quite some time. That's a bad surgery. Because they got to put these stents in there.
Starting point is 00:56:16 And they put stitches to keep it straight until it meshes and heals. And then they got to cut it and yank those out. Yeah. Terrible. Joe, you ever rode a motorcycle since yeah i just got on one uh about two months ago three months what for the first scary no i just wanted to do it i just wanted to see if i i still had it in me did you yeah but i didn't want to do what i used to do no you had too much going on man yeah and is there a lot of pressure in the in the and i'm not i'm just going to go out on a short bonsai limb here and say,
Starting point is 00:56:48 is there a lot of pressure in the Asian community to do tricks on motorcycles? I believe so. We're just not allowed to talk about it. We don't say much. You know what I mean? I might say the wrong thing and commit suicide. You know that, Theo. I knew it.
Starting point is 00:57:07 Let's see what this guy has to say my name is robbie i'm from stroud england shout out to the pride of stroud brendan theo you look like a single butch mother of three that likes to play rugby in their spare time if you've ever been in a group chat in the uk with your mates the chances are you've probably been bullied at some point so king it or sting it offensive friendly banter gang gang oh i like that but no that's my mama's hometown stroudoud. Really? Born and raised. I think any, just to start off, if you don't mind. Anyone that has a video in the frame shows that they're wearing a soccer shirt.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Always from the UK. Good chance. Always from the UK. They're balls deep in soccer out there. Yeah, man. He's got a Chevrolet logo on his chest. Make a decision, man. Dude, who wears a shirt while they take a dump?
Starting point is 00:58:07 First of all, what pervert, right? Are you one of those guys that you go naked, though? Dude, what freaking West Essex pedophile wears a fucking shirt while they take a poop, man? So you take everything off, Theo? I'll take everything off that I can. If there's a place to set a shirt, bro, or hang on the doorknob, I will, even if I'm at Starbucks or something.
Starting point is 00:58:31 That's insane. That's cool, man. That's insane. That is not cool. That's insane. So you really think you're outside like an animal when you shit? I can't shit well
Starting point is 00:58:45 if there's things like holding my body back. You know? I don't want anything constricting my blood flow. I want to be able to fucking shit like a king, dude. Like Kamaru Usman.
Starting point is 00:58:56 Sure. You know? Yes. Sure. And that G-Star hoodie is restrictive? All of it is, man. Anything that's like, just stops me up in here,
Starting point is 00:59:07 I want to be able to fucking put my arms up if I really need leverage on this thing. I'll fucking shit like a G, dog. Not like one of you little hoes, bro. Yeah, man. It sounds like you're giving birth. It doesn't sound like you're taking a shit, Theo. Sounds like you need to go see a doctor.
Starting point is 00:59:21 Yeah. Well, I don't poop every day like a lot of people. I poop probably three times a week. What? I poop, I shit about three times a day. Oh, my God. I'm not even making that up. You're getting after it, huh?
Starting point is 00:59:34 What are you, a machine gun? Yeah, man. My toilet hates me. My toilet's like, you again? You do work. I fuck it up, bro. You're like a rabbit. That's crazy. I don't like doing that I like to let it get let it get compact and let it fucking and then you actually are serving legitimate poop
Starting point is 00:59:52 I'm not out here this fucking you know Soft serving every afternoon like some fucking little wait, so you're building it on the Elliot So, you know you have to shit on Tuesday, but you purposely hold it off until Wednesday? Is that what you're saying? You only have to shit for about 15 minutes, then it goes away, dude. I don't give in to the first sign of pressure. What the fuck? He likes to challenge himself. I don't.
Starting point is 01:00:15 So it's a game for you. It's a mental game for Theo. It's just like, I don't know. I find that the whole thing works better for my body. My body knows it doesn't have the easy way out all the time. Yeah, show that shit who's boss. Am I right? Yes.
Starting point is 01:00:29 I mean, something like that. I mean, that's an easy way to say it, but yes. Do we even answer that guy's question? Oh, he's saying group chats like you and your buddies roasting each other? Yeah. I guess several of those. It's fantastic. Here's Darren Till.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Got off the roids right here. Let's see what he's got to say. What's up, Brennan, Theo, Kat, Chin, Nick? I have a king it or sting it. Taking baths as a man. I am 32 years old. It's been about five years, honestly, since I've taken a bath. I shower.
Starting point is 01:01:14 When I bought my house, it came with a pretty big, one of those jacuzzi bathtubs. It's about six and a half feet long. I am 6'1", so, you know, trying to take a bath when you're that you know. Baths
Starting point is 01:01:37 as a grown-ass man. Gang gang, buzz buzz, baby. Who has the time for a bath get a hot tub daddy yeah come on now yeah boom hot tub
Starting point is 01:01:49 hot tub and bath and you just sit in your own filth yeah weird man get the fuck out of here you have ass ass dingleberries
Starting point is 01:01:56 and stuff floating in there human soup I hate it when you clean your asshole in the bath and then you dunk your head to wash your head yeah what the fuck
Starting point is 01:02:04 are you doing that's called that finishing touch bro you got to do it you got to write a passage bro so you're you're into baths i mean i think if you got to take a bath i'd do like a seasonal bath you know around the holidays thanksgiving when i got a little extra time or something i'll bath out i'm not a bath guy i'm not a bath guy you know i don't mind that i just i think it's when i was young the heat didn't bother me as much i'd be in there you'd be in there three four hours you know and drinking water i'd drink as much as i could pee it out drink more you know you'd be in there two or three hours just learning
Starting point is 01:02:40 about how your body works but as an adult the thing I noticed as an adult, the heat really gets me. The heat of the water, if it's too hot, gets me. Yeah, that's a good point, Theo. Yeah, man. Don't you think or no? It's the heat. I thought it was the asshole
Starting point is 01:03:03 dingleberries. That's what gets me, man. Not so much the heat, just the things that were in my yeah i didn't think about i i thought it was the asshole dingleberry that's the dirty water that's what gets me man uh not so much the heat just the things that were in my butthole floating in the water now and those are the loose hairs from my thigh and balls yeah that's why the hot tub filters all that shit out you got the jets yeah if you're ever wondering if a bath is bad as an adult when you drain the water look at the sides of your tub that was floating in the water correct into your mouth
Starting point is 01:03:29 bro those are just lost villagers on the on the ocean of uncertainty dog you gotta fucking stay in there and ride it out yeah do drinks out water Jesus Christ your immune system is in incredible oh yeah if you had if you had half a gallon of your own warm bathwater, dog.
Starting point is 01:03:48 COVID's for hoes, bro. I feel sick. What else you got, Nick? A couple more debate clubs, and then we'll close it out. This is Tiny's Tacos TV returning. Oh, they're the best, man. Bro, did they ever send in some more tacos for us? Dude, my team can't find them.
Starting point is 01:04:02 They DM'd them on Instagram and then we never heard back. We got Max Holloway on this Friday. You fucked up, Tiny Tacos. Is it Tiny Tacos? Let's talk Tiny. Tiny Tacos TVs. We have their email. Maybe they didn't see that last episode because that was Patreon only, so they'll definitely see this. Get in touch with us. Reach out again.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Oh, dude, we're recording. Oh, shit. What up? We're back, bitches! It's your boy, LeoH2O. I'm Tiny. We got another debate club for you. Oh, dude, we're recording. What up? We're back, bitches! It's your boy, LeoH2O. I'm Tiny, and we got another debate club for you. Oh, yeah. So today, we're making a specialty taco for a possible serial killer and
Starting point is 01:04:36 OnlyFans royalty. On the red corner, we got that Crimson Chin Taco. It's a Korean barbecue taco inspired by Chin himself. The serial killer. It's beef bulgogi, pickled carrot and daikon drizzled with that ssamjang. Hopefully I'm saying it correctly. Ssamjang.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Chin will correct me or kill me. Yes. And on the blue corner, we got that only cats, only fans, only taco, only on only fans. That hooked me. I was inspired by a Vietnamese dish, Bao Sao Sao Ut. And I asked two Vietnamese coworkers, and they said I said it pretty good. You're pretty good. I think I'll be all right yeah so on that we got beef lemongrass garlic oyster sauce fish sauce Thai chilies brown pepper lime juice and then
Starting point is 01:05:36 we're gonna top that bad boy off with pickled cucumber onion carrot and then we're gonna have a little dip dip with the na chum which is a garlic sugar lime fish sauce green onion and chili dipping sauce with some vinegar you know what i'm saying damn praise god sprinkle that with some herbs sprinkle that on my dick fam that shit is tight put that down the hatchet that looks fantastic all in a handmade tortilla so let us know the crimson chin taco or that only cats only fans taco only on only fans i love these guys they should be a culture corner some episode i'm gonna say before we even start there's only one way to find out.
Starting point is 01:06:25 I think we've got to get these bad boys to bring some in. You know what I'm saying? Because just from the looks around, I'm going to go with that Richard Ramirez taco. That serial killer taco looks fantastic. Yeah, I'm going to go with the Korean barbecue myself, man. That was amazing. The Cats OnlyFans available only on OnlyFans looks decent. But that Richard Ramirez is fantastic.
Starting point is 01:06:47 That was beautiful. I like that hoof meat, bro. I like that hoof meat on that OnlyFans feet only, feet first OnlyFans. If it's a Cat's OnlyFans only available on OnlyFans taco, Cat needs to step on your taco before you eat it. Yeah. I want it to be foot closed. I want it to be closed with that hook, baby.
Starting point is 01:07:05 You know, she's going to be on first with feet coming up. That was an easy joke. We got one more. But look, man, I'd say, look, let's bring these freaking, bring them in. Bring these beautiful Latinos in. And then get their emails. Let's get these killers in studio. And let's get the food and judge in person. And then, yeah, get them on food truck, B.
Starting point is 01:07:33 Yeah, I will, man. Damn, don't slip on our fucking Mexican friends, bro. Two weeks, they're going to be in here. Brendan, Theo. Debate club for you. Jackie Chan movies versus Jet Li movies. Which were your favorite? Who's better?
Starting point is 01:07:48 Also, Theo, you live in Nashville. That's only four hours from St. Louis. Come up. Our comedy clubs are open. Gang gang, buzz buzz. Awful comedy clubs. But yeah, go up there, Theo. What's the name of them?
Starting point is 01:08:03 Have you been to the one? Yokoi, have you been to the one yokoi have you been to the one in the basement there the st louis funny bone were you this they allowed cigarette smoke oh i think i've been to that one i'm not i'm not gonna say that i don't want to say the name of it but the one i went the one i was at uh they painted their logo on the wall do you oh you know what i'm talking about and joey diaz warned me several times not to go there and i didn't listen to him and i went and then after he goes i told you it was a nightmare bro they used to have this one club there and uh and thanks for the call brother and thanks for the invite um where the first it sat about 225 i bet but the first two
Starting point is 01:08:43 shows or the or the late two shows, were smoky. You could smoke indoors. And it was low ceilings, like seven foot. And after about 20 minutes, you couldn't see past the first row. It was just full smoke. Fog style, man. I thought that shit was illegal since like 1980. Not in St. Louis, you could still smoke indoors.
Starting point is 01:09:04 Some of that Midwest don't fuck around. Yeah, they don't get them fucked out there, man. Yeah, you ready to die? Who's ready to die? I don't really fuck with Jet Li,
Starting point is 01:09:13 to answer his question. I'm not a huge Jet Li fan. Well, he killed his dad on accident. Jet Li did? What? I think so, didn't he? In that movie, remember?
Starting point is 01:09:22 Oh, in the movie. Oh, damn it, Theo. You gotta start that off like you did. No, on the movie set, bro. He killed his father., remember? Oh, in the movie. Damn it, Theo. You got to start that off like that. No, on the movie set, bro. He killed his father. Oh, so really, you're thinking of Bruce Lee. Brandon Lee got shot on the set of Crow on accident. Well, look, man.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Leezy come, Leezy go, bro. One of these motherfuckers shot the other one. Okay? Somebody at least put killer by him. What if he killed the other one dog yeah hey you know what jet lee has two movies that i know of i can't name a jet lee movie i can name two lethal weapon four and uh romeo must die must die i do because jackie chan you got rumble in the bronx yeah you got the movies with ch Tucker. Yes. Which are great.
Starting point is 01:10:05 There's like three of those. Did you really say the movies with Chris Tucker? Yeah, it's Chris Tucker's movie. You know the name of the movie. I don't. It's Rush Hour. Rush Hour.
Starting point is 01:10:14 Are you kidding me right now? Yeah, sorry, dude. Okay. Yeah, especially Brendan, if you're going to dress like a Rush Hour fan every day, you should at least know the fucking, you should at least know the name of the movie.
Starting point is 01:10:27 And then he did Rush Hour with Owen Wilson. It was called Shanghai Nights. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. It was like the exact same thing. What was it called? Shanghai Nights. They were like cowboys.
Starting point is 01:10:35 That's right. Yeah, yeah. That was a good movie. Yeah. Pretty funny. Yeah. What else did Jackie Lee – Jackie Lee. Sorry. What else did Jackie jackie lee jackie lee sorry what else did jackie lee do what jackie
Starting point is 01:10:50 lee fuck i'm off the waitress at that place who are you talking about theo you can't talk you said lee lee jason lee pptt what the fuck are you talking about the only thing yeah but i don't know at least finds an honest mistake yours just races about? The only thing he said was you're in Nashville. At least find an honest mistake. Yours is just racist. Yeah, yours is like, hey. Yours is like you're back at the Kid Rock party. Yeah, you said yours, and right after you went,
Starting point is 01:11:12 Steven Jackson was the best president. He was my president of the South Civil War. He was my president. Cheekily, chunkily, bunkily. Who gives a fuck? Steven Jackson, the president. You asshole I don't know Who you gonna go with
Starting point is 01:11:31 I'm gonna say Jackie Chan all day Jackie Chan all day Rumble in the Bronx Great movie Rush hour Fantastic I love the rush hours
Starting point is 01:11:39 But No one will forget Well I guess Obviously you guys Jet Li Jet Li Lethal Weapon 4 was amazing He was good and he carried the beads He didn't talk
Starting point is 01:11:50 He didn't talk though He didn't talk at all He didn't say a single word Not one fucking word He just rotated beads in his hands And if someone got close he'd strangle with the beads That's true But Jackie Chan did talk and we still didn't understand Atangle with the bees. That's true. But Jackie Chan did talk, and we still didn't understand.
Starting point is 01:12:06 Yeah, but at least he's trying, though, you know? That's true. What about Bobby Lee? Bobby Lee is amazing. Bobby Lee is great. I will go with Bobby Lee. I'll go with Bobby Lee for the win. Yeah, if I pick out of the three, Bobby Lee is the best kung fu movie star.
Starting point is 01:12:24 Agree. Ever. Why hasn't Bobby Lee done best kung fu movie star ever. Why hasn't Bobby Lee done a kung fu movie? Dude, that would be amazing. Probably because the call time's not 1 p.m. in the afternoon. That's true. You also need to know kung fu. Yeah. Yeah, those kind of two no-nos.
Starting point is 01:12:42 Yeah. The fact that there's a call time at all. Yeah. It doesn't matter what time it is. Did you know Jet Li and Bobby Lee are related, though? I just found that out. It's the craziest shit. No way.
Starting point is 01:12:53 Yeah, I found out. When did we find out, Chen? It's within the Asian community. There's a newsletter? Yeah, we get a newsletter. It's an actual newsletter that's in a scroll. It's a scroll that someone hands it to you and then someone else reads
Starting point is 01:13:10 it. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. The truth comes out. The Tiger Belly producer, George Kimmel, lived next door as a child to Muhammad Ali and Muhammad Ali would come over and read him the Quran and stuff.
Starting point is 01:13:25 It's like the craziest story ever. So he grew up rich, though. Yeah, most likely. That's cool. Wow. Very rich, huh? Really cool. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:35 So that's a thing. That's all we got. Mr. Joe Coy. That was fun. Fun, right? I had a blast. Fun show, man. I wish Theo was here.
Starting point is 01:13:43 Me too. Yeah, me too. He wants to live in Nashville. He wants to live in Nashville. Fucking train. Well, I'll be living back there as soon as it's open. It's just not. Dude, we're.
Starting point is 01:13:53 Listen, Newsom's getting recalled, baby. And the restaurant's opening up next week. 25% capacity. You know? Yeah. Comedy store La Jolla's opening up. They just hit me up. We opening up, dog.
Starting point is 01:14:05 Y'all still got them hot state taxes going, though. Yeah, man. Them bitches are hot. You get what you pay for. You get what you pay for. How's the fucking snow out there in the one club to get up every weekend? Yeah. How's that street you get to visit every now and then for entertainment?
Starting point is 01:14:19 Yeah. How's the one road that you can go to to eat a steak? Yeah. How's those bars all located in one place? Yeah. Filled with white people. Listen to country music. How's that?
Starting point is 01:14:28 Yeah. How sharing each other's pie holes. How are those bicycles that chicks ride to drink? Yeah. Those are the worst. Yeah. All the bachelorette parties. You know,
Starting point is 01:14:42 there's a lot of definite. Oh yeah. There's a lot of definite nose's in the area, I think. I will say this. The best PB and what was it? It was a PBR and a fried bologna sandwich was at a bar in Nashville. And I went there all week while I was at the, what's the name of that club? Zany's?
Starting point is 01:15:05 Zany's. I was at Zany's and I went there all week while I was at the, what's the name of that club? Zany's? Zany's. I was at Zany's and I went to that bar every night. Listen, the best thing in Nashville is the moonshine cherries. If you want to get fucked up off of about three cherries, moonshine cherries. Moonshine cherries. Bam. You ever had moonshine, Mr. Vaughn? I had it when I was young, yeah. I had something that fucking one of my buddies, it fucked his eyes up.
Starting point is 01:15:25 Yeah, that's that hooch. That ain't moonshine. This shit fucked his eyes up, dude. But he could blow start a damn pressure washer, though. I will give him that. Well, is that it? That's it. I'm in Tampa next weekend.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Next Friday, Saturday, Tampa, Florida. Then after that, I'm in Cleveland. Hilarities, March 11th. Oh, that's such a good time. I know. Nick, the Friday, Saturday, Tampa, Florida. Then after that, I'm in Cleveland Hilarities, March 11th. Oh, that's such a good club. I know. Nick, the owner, the best. Cleveland Hilarities, March 11th through the 13th. I'm back to back weekends. And then I'm in Spokane, Washington.
Starting point is 01:15:57 Spokane. He said Spokane, by the way. Spokane. Yeah. For my B-Day. Oh, is it? March 18th. That's a good club, too. That's Spokane Comedy Club.
Starting point is 01:16:06 Yeah, they own Breakdown, too. I love those guys. My hometown, Tacoma Comedy Club. That's your hometown club? Yep. Wow. Good people. My mama's moving up there. I forgot to tell you that. Tacoma? Right outside Tacoma. Wow.
Starting point is 01:16:22 I told her to just drop your name. What's that festival they have every year? Don't they have like a... Do they have like a dandelion festival up there every year? What is that festival? They probably have like a dandelion festival. They don't have much in Tacoma. That's why I'm tripping that your mom decided to move there. Yeah, I know.
Starting point is 01:16:39 Because I couldn't wait to get the fuck out. It's rough. No, but it's different now.igby island oh wippy islands that's different that's beautiful yeah i don't know that yeah i don't know the fucking area yeah she's gonna have a good time yeah so we'll see well i will be um where will i be i will be i'll be in the studio next week nice miss you buddy get out of. I got a book coming out March 23rd. Oh, shit. No way.
Starting point is 01:17:08 Yeah. Got a book coming out. We already sold out of the pre-signed copies. We're going to do more. Do you have one on Audible for Theo? Yep. We got that for you. Read by Ray Liotta.
Starting point is 01:17:24 Wow. He just went smoking. I bet his voice was hard. I heard those are a nightmare. They are hard. I heard it's a lot of work. It took me two weeks to read that thing. That's what I heard.
Starting point is 01:17:33 And I didn't realize how bad I was at reading. But goddamn, yeah. What was hard about it, Joe Coy? Huh? I'm curious about that. What was hard about it? What was hard about reading for an audio book? One, you got to act out the you know, like the quotes and stuff.
Starting point is 01:17:46 You have to keep doing it like line after line, right? Yeah. I've heard so many people go, dude, the book was the easy part. The audible, doing the actual audible version. But, Brendan, we'll find out if we just let him answer. We'll find out. We're asking. I'm just telling you.
Starting point is 01:17:59 We're talking business and books here, so maybe take a hike, huh? Why don't you go play in the snow baby i'm trying to as soon as we get out of this episode i'm just trying to find out what is the fucking hard part about doing an audio book from somebody who wrote an audio book yeah you gotta read you gotta read it perfectly like you can't read it the way like when you read you skip words and both you gotta read it word for word you got to land those punctuations correctly the quotes you like to do it in a character you want to sound like it's an actual quote you know what i mean so a lot of that it was oh how to do it yourself right oh i did it
Starting point is 01:18:37 myself yeah some people have other people doing it just not as good yeah i think they do it because it's like a stunt throat yeah and and another thing was reliving those stories You know it got emotional so Like there's a lot of things that I talked about my childhood with my brother and it's his drug addiction And it was just it was hard. What was his drug of choice? Well, you know he all you know my brother like He's he's he's still in a hospital to this day. Oh, wow. So, yeah. Let's go. It was rough.
Starting point is 01:19:06 That's tough. Reliving that and reading it out loud. You know? So, that was hard. It was kind of emotional. It was a roller coaster in that booth. Sounds good, though, man. Oh, thank you, man.
Starting point is 01:19:17 It's pretty cool. I can't believe it's going to be you. How long did it take you? It's in Barnes & Noble. Like, let's go. That's dope, man. That's awesome. I love you, Theo. That's awesome, man. That's awesome. I love you, Theo.
Starting point is 01:19:26 That's awesome, man. Love you too, man. Love you guys. Thank you. See you next week, buddy. All right, man. I'll see you next week, man. Now let me broadcast
Starting point is 01:19:34 about this little podcast king Cause he got Brad Sting Cause he fought back Theo got that Hit a gray black bag Shopped like a wrestler Even though he never rocked masks And you know Kat's gonna take your breath.
Starting point is 01:19:46 Lucky she got nine lives cause she fresh to death. And I hope I don't come off strong or make you log off. When I'm in your DMs and I send another hot dog. Just kidding, didn't send that pic. That would be too premature. Just like Nick. I'm slick, I'm sick. Too legit to quit.
Starting point is 01:20:02 They be calling me Chappelle cause I got the tricks And tell me how am I supposed to live without Chin singing He gon' take you on a date and just do a lot of drinking Ain't no thing, chicken wing, it's the bat with the rings And the beat, who can swing, it's the king and the sting No kidding, yo, you better listen King in the sting, killing any opposition Bumble and mouse, the bee and the critter
Starting point is 01:20:24 Gang, gang, buzz, buzz Go get that hitter That hitter No chance of pumping them brakes Don't make it, no stops Don't take it, no breaks Cause K-A-T-S Take first place
Starting point is 01:20:35 It's King and the Sting You can rap, sing, whatever you want No one's gonna beat Lil' Bratz It's not happening Really? You think so? I think you'd be surprised. I really do. Hey, we don't.
Starting point is 01:20:50 Uh, one second. Okay. I'm prophetic Machiavelli, thuggin' like Tupac Call me D'Elia cause my pockets heavy Cheeto cause my rock is ready, when it's time to rock I'll build bird to get his chopper ready Now those brows palm sweaty, probably vomit mom's spaghetti In this state of mind, always try to keep it balanced So I'm younger than D'Elia, but my soul is old as Callan Yo, Brandon lookin' like he live with 16 kittens And Theo lookin' like he yells 4 when fishin'
Starting point is 01:21:21 4! I rhyme tight, no foes don't matter God bless me, like I got bad allergies This boy might just burn white rappers Like Nick Boyd, bike club, burn those calories Hey, no kiddin', yo, you better listen King in the stink, killin' any opposition Bumble and mouse, the bee and the critter
Starting point is 01:21:40 Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, go get that hitter That hitter No chance of pumping them brakes No making no stops, no taking no breaks Cause K-A-T-S take first place It's king and a stank Woo! Here we go!
Starting point is 01:22:04 K-A-T-S get so hot Hey, we go. Outro Music

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