The Golden Hour - Episode 109: The Koy, the King and the Sting
Episode Date: February 19, 2021Jo Koy fills in for Theo in-studio while Theo Zoom's in from Nashville. The guys talk Snow Days, Jo Koy's New Film with Steven Spielberg, Brendan's Stache, All New Roast My Hosts ...and Clown My Hounds, Professional Adult Films vs Amateur Adult Films, Running Red Lights, Relationship Advice on When To Say "I Love You", UFC Call-Outs and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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look i'm in i'm in on a couple coins you know i'm in on some uh tron i'll be honest i'm in on a
little bit of nano and a little bit of algorand bro i'll be honest with you you know i'm in on some uh tron i'll be honest i'm in on a little bit of nano and a little bit of algorand bro i'll be honest with you you know i'm one i'm in on some etc and some eth bro i went
deep so yeah i'll admit that i'm fucking mild i'm exposed
back off my broccolini get Get your life together. It is.
Don't touch me, bro.
I'm not touching you, dude.
What's up, Daddy-O?
What's up, Playboys, huh?
Look at Theo.
That snow out there, huh?
Yeah, I see you got that little sugar pineapple there with you, huh?
Yeah, sugar pineapple, dog.
Now, are you doing the podcast from Restoration Hardware, or where's your new studio at is that the inside of a u-haul truck budget cut yeah guys we had to pull over actually
because the engine volume was uh really funny so yeah it's definitely smells like definitely
some really good wood uh thinner or something in here? Wood thinner? Yeah. Whatever that stuff is.
Yeah.
Remember Woodshop?
Oh, I love Woodshop.
Oh, the best.
And your teacher always was missing a finger.
Like no matter what school you went to, they were missing a few fingers.
Yeah.
There was always injuries.
And it was like always, yeah, it was always like the drug dealer kids were like building like a birdhouse and they would like cry at the end of the year and shit.
But they were always really good at
it like damn man how's druggie dave so good at this yeah a real knack for it and they would write
like xanax on the windows of it and shit like they were always kind of taking it to like a weird level
for the birds yeah by they i mean theo vaughn as a kid you had a seven-story birdhouse who knows
baby who knows how's it how's it going out there mr
von how's that how's that snow that's what you get for leaving us man enjoy that fucking ice
cold weather bud dude well hey i'm glad you made it through the moguls of that sentence
i like how he abruptly ended with bud bud i. I was going to double down on bro again, so I changed it to bud.
He should have just went, I'm out of words, bud.
Bud.
He should be able to press a button when he knows he's not going to get to the end of a sentence.
Hey, when do you guys get the rest of the wood for the back?
That'd be nice.
It's kind of distracting.
Yeah, man.
Black curtain doesn't mean anything.
That just means there's a kitchen behind you.
Yeah, you look like a shitty YouTube magician.
Are people washing dishes behind you, Theo?
Yeah, they are.
Yeah, they are.
Hey, guys, we need more ramekins.
Dude, why is every kitchen always out of ramekins? There's always one dude. He's always like a gay guy. Like, we don't have any ramekins. Dude, why is every kitchen always out of ramekins?
There's always one dude,
but he's always like a gay guy,
like, we don't have any ramekins.
Every time you give him a shit for the studio,
then we're going to have to change it next week.
He's laughing, but it hurts.
Yeah, he's laughing,
but he's going to take it out on Nick's face after the show.
Theo hits his employees.
Oh, that's great. Just virtually, and it's only just virtually and it's obvious you're doing that 70s show again
that's dope you know it's it's snowed here man it's snowed big time over here
oh and now you're a little you're a little swamp lizard so you're not used to the snow. I was born in the snow.
Yeah, I was not born in it, man.
I don't, I mean, I believe in it, but I just don't like it that much, I guess.
It's kind of shocking.
How much snow are we talking?
How much snow are we talking? Like real snow, or is it just like a little, you know?
Maybe four inches.
Yeah.
You ever look at postcards during the holidays holidays and it's like that one postcard
that's just covered in snow yeah that's nashville yeah that's fucking nashville yeah that's how
they're acting right now theo called me yesterday like dude we're sledding down capitol hill we got
a canoe oh my god dude gross no yeah it's like when I call my dad and tell him about the weather in Colorado. Yeah, man. Cool. No one gives a shit, man.
What else you got?
I got shorts on.
I'm glad you went ice fishing, but I'm wearing shorts.
You're wearing shorts, and I can't eat in restaurants.
Are you wearing no-show socks?
I am.
Shorts are good except for church, bro.
That's where I draw the line, son.
You might as well come out the closet if you're wearing shorts to church praise all all praise god man i was saying i don't know how much longer we have joe coy on these shows man
he's doing movies with steven spielberg and just blowing up man i said we got him for about another
week are you really joe coy yeah we got to see how the movie does.
No, no, no.
I take that back, universe.
No, the movie's going to do great.
It's going to crush.
Yeah, it's going to crush, man.
It's Forrest Gump 2.
Yeah.
It's a prequel.
It's Rainforest Gump.
It's a prequel.
His dad is actually Jokoy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. is it rainforest gump yeah yeah
it's jungle gump yeah it's jungle gump man well rainforest gump was better than jungle gump no
i don't think so you guys kind of already kicked it off but uh we brought back some of our favorite
uh listener roasts from the youtube comments and joe Coy's got a list to roast both you guys.
Oh, should I read them now?
Yeah, why don't you read a couple?
Okay, cool.
It says, I got one from Squirrel Bong, which is already good.
He said, Brendan seems like he would wait in line all day
to try the new size of hot dog.
I guess.
Is that to eat?
Yeah
To try a new size of hot
Oh I gotcha
Yeah now you got it
He's a connoisseur
He's a connoisseur
Yeah he's a connoisseur
Yeah
That one's alright
Shout out to Squirrel Bong
Sounds like he's doing good
That one's good
Exactly
This is from Adam Brown
I'm sorry Brendan
It's about you again
Switch him up
Switch him up
Okay
Well let's do this one Since I said it's about Brendan already.
You know what I mean?
Hey, man.
Brendan's mustache looks like a barcode that'll never scan.
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's good.
This ain't coming up, sir.
Oh, shit.
This ain't coming up, sir.
That's a self-checkout bad boy you got going on your lip, B.
Sale decline, homie.
You scan Brendan's mustache and it comes up lube.
What?
I don't want lube.
Theo.
Oh, wait.
This is from Mr. Painkiller616.
Jesus Christ.
Mr. Painkiller.
I don't want to follow any of these guys just by their names.
Theo looks like he shops from Bass Pro Shops.
Wait.
Did I say that right?
Yeah.
I read that right.
He said, Theo looks like he shops from Bass Pro Shops for a living.
That's funny.
Oh, he's a personal shopper at Bass Pro Shops?
Okay, I'll take it.
Somehow made it shoplifts.
First of all, you guys didn't read it right, man.
Come on, guys.
No, I swear to God.
Shoplifts.
Shoplifts.
No, it doesn't say shoplifts.
Yeah, Theo looks like he's in a shoplift.
Hey, first of all, don't make me look like an asshole.
It says shops from.
All right, Theo?
Sorry, good boy.
Your producer fucked this one up.
Another black guy for Nick coming up.
I'm going to read what's on the paper, and I'm going to do it one more time.
Theo looks like he shops from Bass Pro Shops.
And you two can go fuck yourselves.
It'd be easier if it was Theo
steals from Bass Pro Shops. I don't like the fact that
Theo's inside of a U-Haul truck and he's trying to
correct me. Yeah.
Read it right, asshole.
Dude, this is an 18-footer, dude.
Okay? Watch your mouth. How dare you
say 18-footer, son?
Alright, where are we at now?
This is from Drinny.
Is that Drinny?
Who cares?
Who gives a shit, right?
But it looks like he makes eye contact while eating popsicles.
I can see that.
He does.
I can see that.
All deep throat of popsicles.
Yeah, yeah.
He gets all the way down to the wood part. Yeah, look, yeah. He gets all the way down to the wood part.
Yeah, look, you're right.
All the way right to the wood part.
I'm going to deep throat one of those.
Oh, a lot of times he gets splinters in his butthole when he's eating them.
Yeah, Brendan likes to put the popsicle in his asshole after he's done eating the cold part.
Let me just put that warm
stick in there.
Here's one from iPokeeyEyesOut.
Oh, I read it like
pokey. I read it like
pokey like tuna. Yeah, that's fine.
You know that. I like pokey.
I thought that's where they were going with this, but it is
iPokeeyEyesOut.
Alright, you ready? Damn.
Theo looks like he smells gas before filling up.
I know I do.
Look at him there.
I really do that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I really do.
Oh, my God.
That's good.
What is that, 87?
That's at 87.
That's my audition tape for The Wire right there
I don't know if you guys can see that image right there or not
Jason Hollander
You ready for this one?
Theo looks like he gets paid in crossbows
I think Theo likes that one actually
He's not even laughing
Mr. Painkiller616 again? Painkiller Hey, he's not even laughing yeah um uh mr painkiller 616 again painkiller
hey he's on a roll uh brendan looks like he had uh i uh oh okay i'm sorry brendan looks like he
had an epiphany from some 41 song a sum 41 song i'm sorry i don't know who sum 41 is yeah that's
horrible that would have been better if i i knew who that was. I kind of get it.
He looks like he had Epiphany from a Sum 41 song.
That's where he's getting his inspiration from some punk rock.
He's got yellow on.
Oh.
Oh, it's gotcha.
It's an eh.
Yeah.
All right, what's next?
Do another Theo one.
The sous chef one.
Do you see that one?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I like this one.
This is from James Richmond.
Theo looks like a sous chef at a women's prison.
That's funny.
Look at him there.
No more peas for you, Brenda.
Yeah, I shit in the beans.
He looks like the chef and the inmate.
Bryce Hamilton.
Theo looks like a taxidermist intern.
That's funny with the hamster shirt on.
Love it.
Am I just reading these bad or what?
No, that's good.
We're good.
No, it's not your fault.
They're not good.
No, it's not your fault.
They're not good.
That's good for Roast My Host. I think it's better if we're all in studio there's a little delay when he's hearing
him he can't respond but i thought they were pretty pretty good not bad no i think they're
great man that was great yeah i miss you theo i miss you too man i want to know more about the
film when's it coming out may 3rd i shoot it i shoot it in vancouver and daily city it's amazing man are you are you looking for two white guys
you're not gonna believe it that's all we're looking for yeah we're coming back
i knew steven spielberg yeah man he said something about diversity. Yes. What's your role going to be, Jokoy?
Huh?
What is your role going to be?
I'm lead.
It's about Easter Sunday with my family, and it takes place one day.
Just complete chaos during that whole day of Easter Sunday.
He wrote it.
I didn't write it.
It was my pitch.
It was my idea, and Ken Chang helped me write it.
So it's amazing.
A little like death at a funeral type vibe, like a whole family.
Yeah, exactly.
That's fun.
Who's this big baby?
What up, Brandon?
What up, Theo?
It's your boy Benny here, all the way from the UK, the sunny UK shores.
What a state of this shit all sometimes.
Beautiful.
Got a debate club for you.
Now I know Theo, you ain't procreated before, and I think humanity thanks you for that.
Brendan you got two.
Let's hope they got their mum's intelligence, eh?
True.
So my debate club is sons v daughters.
I mean you got that no quitter son, or that all hitter daughter. So the debate club is sons v daughters. I mean, you got that no-quitter son or that all-hitter daughter. So the
debate club is some of your daughters.
Gang, gang?
So cute.
So cute. Congrats, man.
Daughters are different.
Do you have a daughter? I don't have a daughter.
Yeah, we both have sons. Yes.
It's a little easier with sons. You're still
scared of the world for them. But with daughters daughters you're talking about a world of different way different
factor and then you also think about how you were as a guy coming up you're like i don't want her
to meet anyone like me correct so it's a scary i feel like it's a scary world for women unless
they're in hollywood yeah i think sons is dangerous bro because son's got that danger dick on him yeah
and a dick is full of danger bro if you think about it yeah 100 hands down you never hear
somebody's weapon ever oh you don't ever hear somebody oh yeah larry did something awesome
with his dick the other day for someone no never i mean the the previous guy just jerked off on his phone and called us.
Yeah.
He called us.
Yeah.
I mean, you should have a license to carry your penis.
You know, if you have a gun, a loaded gun, you need a license.
A penis, you need a license.
There's a lot of people walking around with loaded penises that are very dangerous with their penis.
Yeah.
It's unbelievable.
You got to be careful. careful the penis you never make
smart choices never penis doing the thinking you should never say this to a girl you sure you're
on birth control yeah yeah and that's when it happened that's yep yeah a penis man you got to
think about that man a Little daughters are friendlier.
They're sweeter.
Little kids don't give a shit, bro.
They will kill you.
They'll kill your wife.
Yeah.
They'll burn your crib down.
They don't give a fuck. They would sell crack if they could, if they knew how to do business.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, you're right.
Little boys are violent, dude.
Violent.
They are, man.
And they're mean.
And then also, thank God for Google, because your kids, I don't know how your kids were.
My kids were my kids
my son asked me the randomest shit that i have no clue about yes like that how long did it take
to get to mars what the fuck yeah i don't know i have to look it up almost 600 days
600 days that's very true by the way my dad made up so many fucking things. When you think back on it. Oh, he lied so many fucking times.
A lot of shit.
Full of shit, bro.
A lot of shit, man.
Lied about everything.
Yes.
But would you rather your dad lie or have to go look up the answer like some lame ass dad, dude?
I would rather my dad fucking lie to me on the spot.
At least my dad knows what's up.
Yeah, I know.
No, because the problem is my dad would lie.
Then I'd go back to school.
And he used to tell the lie. And the kid's like's like no your dad's full of shit that's a fucking now
my kids can go back to school and drop facts on those little bastards yeah but then people are
gonna be like oh your dad just googled it at least my dad really sold it yeah yeah and my dad smoked
but when when he was living with me he used to smell you really sold it like chain smoke what
did he saw he was a chain smoker so he really sold it like everything he said just looked real because he was he would take
a that's fair nice long drag at the end of it yeah did you do you lie to your kid ever always
always i've yet to tell my son the truth about anything yeah you know why you know why boys are
resilient you know why they're they're they're crazier yeah
they because they never break anything yet until they break something that's when they stop that's
when they chill did your son break anything he broke his arm it he slowed down after that
but i mean before that he was diving and jumping and i'm on this diet and my my son wanted me to
eat this can i'm like dad can't have that and he's like oh and my son wants me to eat this candy. I'm like, Dad can't have that. And he's like, oh.
And he just gets it from his mom.
He goes, oh, because you want a six-pack?
I'm like, you had like a six-pack.
And he grabs my stomach and goes, you have a pack now.
All right, dude.
Keep talking shit.
Fat Patrick, boy.
Should we move on to some relationship advice?
Yeah.
These people need help.
Yeah, I'm sure we can help.
Someone look at us.
Look at us. look at us.
Look at us.
What's up, King and the Sing?
Listen, I love what you guys do.
I need you guys during this whole pandemic thing.
This is crazy.
I watch all of you guys' podcasts.
Right now, I've been watching you since 2014.
And I've been watching you in the UFC as well.
So, King and the Sing, or relationship advice. I've been with the girl for as well. So, um, King understanding it or relationship advice.
Um, been with the girl for two years.
We just got married and her parents have a bunch of property.
So we're going to move into the property, but in two different houses, you know, her parents are going to live in one house.
We're going to live in ours.
And, um, so what do you think King understanding it?
You know, by the way, I'm really close with her dad and her mom so um we'll see how it goes do you think it's gonna be kind of weird do you think
it's kind of like not really appropriate um what do you guys think i don't think it's that big of
a deal i'd like to see the real estate i'd like to see the houses but if you're close with like
i'm really close with my mother-in-law father-in-law they live like a block from me it's
nice having them around man yeah full-time babysitter oh yeah times you want to go
on a little date night you need a break come over help out with the kids yeah
they're right on the property I think it's a tight move you make it work yeah
you can just send your baby to the babysitter just walk across go to that
house right there mommy and daddy are it's mommy and daddy time yeah that's
perfect yeah I agree with you on that one. Yeah.
Um, what I don't agree with is he has the same curtain as a Theo that's behind
him.
No one should have black curtains in their house.
Yeah.
But I feel for this guy.
I,
he's very sincere.
It is a hard time right now.
The pandemic has put him in a situation.
Uh,
but I don't want him to think that going to the parents house
is a bad thing it's actually a good thing if you get along with them like if you don't get along
with the dad you don't get in and if you don't get along with them it'd be a night oh it'd be
an absolute fucking yeah like could you live with your parents no not i can either not at all after
two days i'm like you guys good not even across the street it'd be tough oh it'd suck it would suck it would suck murder would happen yeah yeah and i don't want to do
that um yeah but you don't turn the pain obviously he's not you know this is going to be a good move
for him smart move smart move what do you think deal i think if you're young and like you're 19
or 20 then it's kind of a little bit more stressful
because the parents are worried you guys are over there doing sex
and being naughty and they're sneaking around.
But I think if you're older and more of an adult,
that kind of stuff's all gone out the window.
So, you know, you just have to be a decent man.
And you're getting free house.
This guy sounds like he's getting free house.
He didn't say he was paying for nothing. This dude, dude you know he's just got to spend time with the daughter shake
the dad's hand every now and then fucking try to time when he goes out to the mailbox so he ain't
out there at the same time as them that kind of shit so he could you know not get caught up in
too much verbal hang time you know but i think uh i think it's a good move man and yeah they
have babysitters.
Then you have a babysitter right there.
I think families need to stick together.
If you can afford to have them on the same property, it's not a bad idea.
You could always do a little electric fence as well.
Yeah, that's not a bad move, a little electric fence.
Yeah, teach your stepmom the hard way.
Yeah, get a badass guard dog.
You know he can't come over here unless he's inside, man.
Just keep your distance intact. Yeah, get a badass guard dog. You know he can't come over here unless he's inside, man. Yeah.
Just keep your distance intact.
Yeah.
I like that.
Yeah, just keep telling him,
say, muffin's in heat.
Say, muffin is in heat.
You can't come over.
Muffin's in heat.
Sounds like he got himself a little six-figure queen over there, too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He has a good setup.
Yeah, he married into money.
Good job.
Yeah, tight move, dude.
You won the lottery.
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Yeah
Alright, this guy's got another question
He also has a nose piercing
What's up guys?
This is Eddie
And this is Iris
On some relationship advice
Don't put our names in it
Don't put our names in it
That's not our real names
That's not our real names
No, I'm talking about you
Alright
This relationship This relationship's gonna last a very long time Anyway That's not a real name. That's not a real name. Shut up. All right.
This relationship is going to last a very long time.
Anyway.
You got to get out of this one.
Whoever takes out who on the date.
So say if I take out her on a date, should I drive or should she drive?
She takes me on a date.
Should she drive or should I drive to her?
The date.
So, King and her staying it.
Thank you, Theo.
And thank you, Brendan. Theo for being King and her staying it. Thank you, Theo, and thank you, Brendan.
Theo for being funny and making her laugh, and Brendan for being
good-looking and making her wet while
she wrapped her.
Wow, thank you.
So I'm not handsome, Eddie?
Thank you.
Thanks, Eddie.
Thanks, Eddie. I'll just be the ugly guy.
Yeah, they basically call Theo ugly.
Yeah, this relationship's going nowhere.
Yeah.
I don't mind if the chica drives, man.
I don't have a control problem.
So if she has a dope ride.
Yes.
It's great.
Yeah.
I like it when the chicks drive, to be honest.
Yeah, I don't mind it.
Yeah, I don't mind it at all, I don't mind it a big deal
Yeah, would you would you mind if they paid for dinner?
No, please pay for dinner pay and drive. Yeah. Oh and by the way, oh fuck me later. Yeah
Yeah, also open my door bitch. Yeah. Yeah, let me decide if we're having sex. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, that'd be fun. I'll be deal you got a problem if if one of your uh women
pick you up and you gotta go well for me it for me it makes me agitated because the women drive
you know real you can't really like unless it's danica patrick then all these other bitches drive
real questionably yeah that's fair so it's a lot of being patient when you're driving with them.
And I like to sit on the gas.
I like to go for it.
I like to take a chance at dying every time I get on an expressway.
And a lot of these ladies, thank you.
And a lot of these ladies aren't like that.
They want to look around.
They'll get to a stop sign and look around and shit.
I'm like, what are we doing?
You know?
You know that you're so right about that because I do like to risk it all.
So when she's driving and we're at a red left arrow and there's no fucking cars around, go.
Go.
Just fucking go.
Go.
But then it's a fight. It it's scary i can't believe you're
asking me to do that bitch go go it's a red left no one's here i'm hungry that that's why you got
to make them take ways because ways of force you to stress you out yeah makes you take the shortcuts
people yeah no man i don't think rebel when I take the red left.
I go hard.
I go hard.
I go hard.
I go.
I don't care if stoplights are red or green.
I go if there's no one around and I can go or if there is someone.
If there's no police around, I go.
I go.
And I keep going until I get where I want to be.
I run lights all the time.
All the time.
Don't understand that.
Yeah.
If I'm at the airport like four in the morning, there's on the road i do not wait for lights none of the lights they
don't even exist in my world nope yeah people always ask me how'd you get here so fast there
were no lights no lights man not one fucking light same same but yeah i think it also if you
take in somebody on a date, what about this?
What do you guys do about picking the movie?
Are you guys willing to go to a movie that your lady wants to go to?
Or will you guys say no?
Be honest with me.
I say no.
Yeah.
I don't say no, but I make it very uncomfortable.
That's something you should watch with your girlfriends.
Yeah.
Or I like to laugh.
I like to say that a lot.
I like to laugh.
Let's watch something on Microsoft.
Y'all say,
you like stupid shit like that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Damn.
Just low-key insulting.
Yeah.
I'm like,
really?
That seems pretty stupid.
Yeah.
All right.
I'll watch it though.
And the whole time,
I'm like,
yeah,
dumb. Yeah. All right. I'll watch it, though. And the whole time, like, yeah, dumb.
All right, so moving on, one more relationship advice question.
What's going on, Theo?
What's going on, Brendan?
I got some relationship advice I need.
You know, my girlfriend, my first really serious relationship,
she got me a don't touch me but keep touching me hoodie for my birthday.
Literally everything I asked for. Awesome birthday, Sash. relationship she got me a don't touch me but keep touching me hoodie for my birthday literally
everything i asked for awesome birthday sash you know birthday girls wearing on the slopes took me
to highway valley for the weekend and you know every time i hang out with her it's just i learned
something new about her we laugh every time we hang out she's she's just like my best friend
you know we've been dating for about six months now i've known her for a while though
and i just i i don't know when it's time to say i love you i feel like i feel like i i feel it
i know she's kind of she said a couple times just like kind of slipped it in there with some stuff
i just it's my first relationship so
i don't really know you know what i need to put it out there because i definitely feel that i
she sees me looking at her you know with my smile all granny she knows i'm thinking it
but like i said it's getting wet first got it you drop the l-bomb yeah i'll be like tereshima on
that girl let's do this man test the waters out um here's another thing we know you're in love
you're wearing a fucking sash you spent six minutes tell us how in love you are yeah man
uh first of all it's six months um ask us this question in a year
yep it's gonna be different uh you're actually it's gonna be a different phone call like hey
i hate this bitch yeah really should be advice how do i break up with my girl yeah no you're
obviously in love it also sounds like this is the first time you've ever been in love yeah
drop the l-bomb though people think too serious with the L-bomb. Yeah, I don't understand that.
I throw it around.
I throw it around, too.
I throw that.
I told my fucking postmates, love you, man.
Yeah, man.
Drop the food off.
I say love you to everyone.
I love saying love you to somebody, and they cringe like, okay.
They don't know how to respond.
Did anyone hug you?
Yep.
I say love you like hello.
Yeah, I throw it around. Pretty loosey you're there man i like to say i love you after i pay at those uh
places off the new jersey turnpike you got to put that money to the man or whatever i say i love you
right there point blank oh that's nice if it's man or woman you know and theo is a love guy
you think yeah theo says love you a lot, man.
Thank you, bro.
You do.
He does.
Thank you.
Depends what day you catch him in the week, but yeah.
He always says love you, man, to me.
You catch him on good days?
Yeah.
Different people get different reactions.
Yeah, that's fair.
But I will say this, man.
Yeah, dude, this dude, man, if you do any more stuff with this lady, she's going to leave you because you're going to be with a man, bro.
You got to tighten up.
You're already wearing.
Yeah, you got to do something, dude.
You're wearing the electrical fucking onesie you got on right there.
You got to tighten up, dude.
Yeah.
But here's the thing.
A lot of times guys will, once a girl says it, then a guy will just say it back without even thinking about it.
Yeah.
Then you're stuck in a relationship for two years wondering if you really do.
You realize you don't, and then you leave.
People put too much power in the word, though.
It's all right to throw it out there.
Nick, Chin, you tell your girls you love them?
Yeah.
That's a no from Chin.
I've done it before, but we don't say it often.
I respect that. It doesn't really count it before, but we don't say it often. I respect that.
So it doesn't really count.
Nick, you gotta say it.
I say wild shit when I'm buzzed.
I say it. He doesn't say it.
I say it all the time.
You gotta say it, man.
Let her know, Chin.
No, Chin's a cold-hearted fucking killer, man.
Yep.
Did your parents say it to you?
Oh, I have so much love in my family.
That's weird
I know you have a lot of love
But did they tell you they love you?
Yeah
But Joe doesn't know that I was friends with my girlfriend
For like over 20 years before we started dating
So it's a weird thing
We said we loved each other before
But now it's like
In love, it's kind of a
It's a tough one
Yeah
But I am
Definitely, I love her
Yeah, it doesn't sound like your love but we'll we'll figure that another day yeah i don't know if i would ensure this love
question for him like it's a tough position it's not though throw it out there dude don't put so
much power in the word it's not a big deal yeah yeah chen that sounds unreliable it sounds like
the i would if i were an insurance agent i don't know if I would give coverage on that love policy of yours.
You would invest in his love stock, you're saying?
I just think it would be a really high premium.
It sounds uncertain.
It sounds like the windows aren't fully sealed off.
It sounds like they could only have some maybe 12-year shingling going on or something.
Yeah.
As opposed to something larger, something longer time.
I just don't know, man.
I don't know. Do you think he's insecure
about something and he's not telling us
directly? He might like men. I think he's
Japanese, dude, and they don't fucking say it.
Are you talking about
Chin again? What? Yeah.
He said yeah.
He said yeah.
I'm going to be honest, dude. They never
say anything and then they fucking jump off a building
or express themselves in crazy sex art or something.
You know what I'm saying.
That's crazy.
Yeah, he's right.
Let's be honest.
If we're going to talk tomatoes, let's talk tomatoes, bro.
Yep.
I love it, man.
All right.
You guys want to play the name game?
Oh, my boy.
Hit it.
This will be good.
Jelly roll. Ha-ha. This will be good jelly roll.
Ha-ha.
Guess who's back.
Woo.
What's up, Bubbas?
I figured we'd do a thing today called the name game.
In honor of President's Day, I want you both to list the name of every president you can name or think of.
Can't wait to hear this one.
Man. And so this time we're actually going to hear this one. Man.
So this time we're actually going to
put a timer on it. Chin's got it. Should we do
10 seconds?
You three are going around the room. Theo, Brendan
and Joe trying to name presidents.
So what do we do? One
president each or we just all... Just one president each.
Yeah, one. You go, I'll go, Theo
goes. Okay, so we start now? Go ahead.
Abraham Lincoln
George Washington
Easy one
I'm going to go with Grover Cleveland
Wow
He definitely looked this up before
JFK?
He didn't have it
Stop
10 seconds?
No, no, no
10 seconds for each person
So just like once someone hits it
So keep going
How would you ever think that it's 10 seconds for the whole. So just like once someone hits it. So keep going. Jesus Christ.
How would you ever think that it's 10 seconds for the whole game?
The worst game ever.
We should also join Jeffery.
We can name all the presents in 10 seconds.
How would you ever think it's 10 seconds for the whole game? He goes, time, time.
Nope, that's it.
They only got three.
Jed is great.
We've played this game 40 times. Just do great. We've played this game 40 times.
We've played the game 40 times, man.
My bad, Chen.
You're right.
You're a good guy.
You're a good guy.
Who's up?
Me?
He said JFK.
George Washington.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
You fucking lost.
Bush.
No, no.
I want to keep going.
Bush.
George Bush. Yeah, I was going to say George Bush. What? no. I want to keep going. Bush. George Bush.
Yeah, I was going to say George Bush.
What?
But you didn't.
I got 10 seconds, though.
But you're just going to say something to say that.
I got Bush.
Go, Theo.
All right, dude.
I'll say Donald Trump.
Oh, that's a good one.
I'm going to say Obama.
Nice.
I'll go with Biden.
Nice.
I'll go with Gerald Ford nice i'll go with um gerald ford got it carter nixon nice all the reindeer fade on reindeer games sorry that was a joke um i will go with uh with your boy Stephen Douglas.
What did you say?
Stephen Douglas.
Stephen Douglas?
Did you just say one of the Douglas's?
Kirk Douglas and Michael Douglas's younger brother.
Is Stephen Douglas
a president?
Stephen Douglas?
I'm going to go with Charlie Sheen.
He was a president. He was Charlie Sheen. He was a president.
He was?
Stephen A. Douglas was a senator.
No, he wasn't.
He was a president, Nick.
Of the United States?
I think so.
Well, keep reading his wiki.
I am.
Yeah, just senator.
Top billing.
Senator Stephen A. Douglas.
He looks presidential.
Deal lost.
Me and Joe keep going or do we just count Theo as a loser?
Cheaters.
Yeah, you guys can keep going if you can.
Creeps.
Clinton.
Biden.
Nope, you already said that.
Joe, you're winner.
Damn.
Fuckin' Brendan.
I'd like to get a King of the Sting hoodie if I could.
We'll send you some merch.
Coffee mugs.
We're going to send you a
Stephen Douglas presidential
shirt.
Bro, he was
president of the South. That is true.
Is that true?
Which still doesn't count.
That's fine, which is still wrong.
Pick someone from the Confederacy.
Yeah, that was weird, man.
Look, my Confederacy is Confederacy of Dunces.
That's my favorite one to support.
And that's written by Robert O'Toole.
After Steven Jackson, he was going to say, Colonel Mustard.
Colonel Mustard.
You guys left George W. Bush on the table.
That was an easy one, but that's pretty much all I could have gotten.
Yeah.
After that, whenever the pictures start turning black and white,
that's when I forget. It gets a little dicey.
Yeah. Alright, that was a fun one
though. Thanks, Jelly Roll. Thanks,
Jelly Roll.
I'll say this, man.
Isn't it weird how the
people that remember you, even those people,
a legacy only lasts
so long. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
It's crazy, crazy bro there's a
shelf date for everything for the world we keep spinning it just keeps going somebody dies you're
like oh my god how are we gonna move on yeah we move on we do move on real fast get back to
business yeah but but even in entertainment it's like stuff only has like after like another
generation nobody it's it's gone kind of it's's like, you know, when I have to explain to my son
who Bo Jackson was,
like he sees it in documentaries,
but it was like,
to me, I'm like,
that was Superman.
Do you not understand that?
Well, it's the same
with like the LeBron Jordan.
It's good that the last dance doc came out.
Young kids could see it.
I'm like, oh, Jordan was dope.
It's like, yeah, man,
that's where the argument comes from.
He's a clown, my hound for us. clown this hound boys first of all it's a real hound not all these
bullshit dogs you got on here pugs and fucking snickerdoodles and shit this is a raccoon trained
dog second of all it's a tax paying dog he's winning some money. PKC champion. UKC night champion.
Pretty good one.
Oh, yeah.
And he does a service to the community.
He gets rid of all them fucking little trash pandas running around.
Holy shit.
What the fuck is that?
Is that dog killing too?
Is that Satan?
No, that's Iris. That guy's girlfriend
is still yelling in the background.
Don't say my name!
Don't use our real name!
Not our real names, you stupid!
Then he tried to pretend like it wasn't their real names.
He's like, those aren't our real names.
He tried to cover up. He's like, babe,
those aren't our real names.
I forgot about that oh my god hey why would you need a dog to chase raccoons away is it that big of a fucking problem
i thought we love raccoons i like a good i love raccoons they got the cool hands i don't like
this dog me neither what raccoons dog i love raccoons too they look like little burglars
yeah man they got the cute hands. They got real hands.
Yeah, real hands.
They hold carrots and stuff.
I've seen one hold a coffee mug. Yeah, they go through
your trash. Who gives a fuck? Yeah, who gives a fuck?
It's trash. That's why you
threw it away. Fuck
your dog. Nah, man.
This dog is obviously, he said it
won some awards, you idiot.
And what I'm going to say is this. Sorry, I was talking to Brendan. idiot and what i'm gonna say is this sorry i
was talking to brendan i mean and what i'm gonna say is this also what competition was this nope
but do you why do you want to kill a raccoon for they're violent their mother nature's fucking
homeless people dog they're violent beasts they sneak in your house at night they'll steal your
sugar they'll take your fucking kid if they could drag it off they don't give a damn i doubt that highly theo you're full of shit look they
walk man more people they walk they stand on their feet and walk yeah they'll take away your like
empty trash trash goodwill clothing they're great man more people when i was from dogs yeah dude
look how cute that is look you just got soap i guess oh sugar it was sugar i think look at that
you want to kill that theo fuck you looks like a little burglar man bro they have hiv on their
paws dude they are going through a lot no they go through a lot dude there's videos of them using
intravenous drugs there's videos of them uh doing sex outside there's one smoking crack in India.
There's a lot of videos of these animals on the internet
doing not cool things, man.
I've seen that.
Yeah, you see them in Skid Row out there?
I still have compassion.
There are a lot of diseases, too.
Aren't all animals, though, outside?
They all carry some shit, man.
Yeah, man.
These homies are about that life, fam.
These bitches are about that life, you know?
Some people have a real fear of raccoons.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
They're the cutest fucking things in the world.
I'm going to say fuck that dog.
Yeah.
Yeah, well.
I think as long as they let them fight, raccoons and animals should be able to.
What I don't like is they go hide, and they they play this kind of like cat and mouse game i would like to see them really go at it almost
like they do with those fist fights in the backyard those backyard fights oh that'd be cool
yeah little street panda fight league yeah i like that pay-per-view yeah but not much okay
you know we just got hit by a winter storm out here, and we're in the winter.
And so if you want the winter, baby, they got it.
Mother Nature's serving that shit up one icy spoonful at a time.
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Move on to some King of the Stands.
Brandon, Theo, what's going on? Culture Corner, shout out you guys as well. Nick Chin, 3,500. Move on to some King of the Stingers. Brandon, Theo, what's going on?
Culture Corner, shout out you guys as well.
Nick Chin, love everyone there.
I got a King of the Stinger for you guys.
So cryptocurrency, we've been seeing it all over the place.
Bitcoin a few years back blew up.
Everyone made a fortune except for me.
Now we got this Dogecoin hitter, this meme hitter.
So I want to know what you guys think about cryptocurrency.
Let me know. King of the Stinger, gang, gang, hitter. So I want to know what you guys think about cryptocurrency. Let me know.
King it or sing it.
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
I love it.
Can I say something real quick?
Yeah, please.
The oldest, youngest face in the world.
Yeah, it's weird.
This guy is 46, 17.
Benjamin Button.
Yeah.
What the fuck is this, dude?
He's got grandkids, but he gets carded to the movies.
Yeah, it is strange. You're right.kids, but he gets carded to the movies. Yeah,
it is strange.
You're right.
46,
17 over here.
He's 46,
17 years old.
Yeah,
it's tough to tell.
Hey,
man,
I just want to,
you know,
I want you guys to roast me.
I'm retiring from 27 years at the post office.
Who is this guy?
That's a great point.
I don't know much about crypto. know uh elon musk swears by it
it's weird to me when actors and shit demand payment in crypto dude just take the fucking
cash and buy your own crypto well it's it's that fucking easy yeah i don't understand crypto either
i don't shop online i like dollars uh i like to stack my dollars. I like to wrap my dollars.
Plus, I don't want to fall into this internet-style lifestyle.
I want that to be a choice.
If I want to buy something online, I'll do it.
But I want to be online completely.
Everything.
Can people hack into it?
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
If it's internet-based, I don't know who's controlling this fucking thing, who owns it.
It's not a real bank.
And you know what else?
I want to make fun of other people's money.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
The American dollar is so dope.
When you go to other countries, like, what the fuck is this?
Yeah.
That's not a dollar.
Yep.
But with crypto, everyone's got the same shit.
So yeah, that's a good point.
And you got to remember your password, too, for crypto.
Did you see that one criminal got caught and he had like $17 million,
but they were trying to get his password and he couldn't remember it?
Yeah.
The money just stays there.
It's floating.
It's in iCloud.
Yep.
I'm good with that.
Yeah, it's kind of crazy, man.
Everybody and this young fellow or sir, he said a while back that it blew up a few years ago and everybody
made money but him.
Everybody I know lost $3,000 about five years ago.
Bro, exactly.
Everyone I know lost money.
Yeah, I don't know anyone who's made bank up.
Not one.
And everyone keeps talking about, oh, it's making so much money.
I'm like, no one hit it when it made that jump.
It sounds like the trendy thing to say.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
But the jump is definitely,
look, I'm in on a couple coins.
You know, I'm in on some Tron.
I'll be honest.
I'm in on a little bit of Nano
and a little bit of Algorand, bro.
I'll be honest with you.
You know?
I'm in on some ETC and some ETH, bro.
I went deep.
Wow.
So, yeah.
I'll admit that I'm fucking mild.
I'm exposed.
But it's definitely fascinating.
But it's like if it all disappeared tonight, I would have no one to call, no one to ask.
And also then here's the crazy part.
I don't even know if I would admit to people that I'd lost the money because I'd be ashamed.
Yeah.
So then you have a ton of people just ashamed that they threw their money into a fucking wishing well that they don't even get to sit on the side of and have a cigarette.
Yeah, a digital wishing well.
Yeah, if your money or you forget your password, what's customer service?
Yeah, that sucks.
What are you going to do?
What are you going to do?
There's nothing, bro.
I have an iPhone 8 that I kept because I couldn't get the password.
Yeah.
So if I'm holding on to this iPhone 8, imagine if I have $25,000 worth of cryptocurrency.
It's just floating.
I still have Hotmail.
I still have Yahoo.
Hell yeah.
Let me tell you this.
Let me tell you this mind blower right here, Yokoi.
Yes.
Brendan doesn't have a YouTube account.
What?
Yeah.
Oh, I don't have a personal one.
I have it for my YouTube shows.
Yeah. Yeah. That's I don't have a personal one. I have it for my YouTube shows. Yeah.
Yeah.
That's fucking crazy, right?
Is that, are you dumb?
That's crazy, right?
Well, no, because.
Well, look, let's see what.
You don't have that.
Let's put that on the IG swipe up and see what people vote.
Okay.
You're like reminding me of my dad when CDs came out.
He's like, never.
Never. That's just a fad. That's what my dad when uh cds came out he's like never never that's just a fad that's what my
dad said cds yeah i should probably do one yeah yeah sorry it just blows my mind every day when
i'm like oh man i'm like i want to i don't know i just want him to be in. It just blows my mind.
That blows my mind.
Oh, I'm going to tell you a deal.
Boston sent me a seasoned assist for you because you keep leaving comments on the pictures of them.
He said it's starting to creep him out a little bit.
Because he's fine as fuck, son.
What do you want me to do?
Comment that he's an ugly child?
Anytime I post my son Boston, there's one deal gets on. They're like, damn, Shody got back. Bro, he's an ugly child. Anytime I post my son Boston, one deal gets on, they're like, damn,
Shody got back.
Bro, he's beautiful.
She's that
diamond in the rough, fam, you know?
I'm just saying, man. He asked me to tell you
to back off a little bit before he gets authorities
involved. What I said the other day was nice.
What'd I put on there? Y'all taking my dime
to the bank, eh?
That's great. And even if you look at a picture on his face
he's wondering what's going on dog you know what i'm saying even he's a little concerned
that these freaking wild boys got him out on this trail you know by the way this isn't
brendan's uh instagram it's someone else's yeah i post on someone else's
oh you missed the post on February 6th,
so you got to go comment on.
Oh, no, I got in there somewhere.
Yeah, he's deep.
He was probably one, number one.
You usually show up top for me.
I was pretty late maybe on it.
That's great.
You know, I try not to comment on everything.
I know she's got a life of her own.
Yeah, because you'll get flagged.
Yeah, they're flagging child predators now on Instagram.
Which, look, we didn't get to vote on that.
Jesus Christ.
But I'll do it.
I'll definitely back off a little, man.
I say stay consistent, Theo.
Tiger likes it, but little one's getting worried, man.
You know what?
I'm going to start chiming in.
Thank you, good boy.
Oh, yeah, you got to see this hottie, dog.
You got to see this hottie.
What's up, Cats crew?
I got a King of the Stinger for you guys.
That surgery hitter.
That body repair.
So this is the elbow.
Two plates, two screws
Nine pins and a six inch rod
In the forearm
First rod I've ever had put inside of me
I don't recommend it
I don't like it
Probably never going to happen again
So yeah the question is
Can you understand it
Surgeries, sometimes they can help
Sometimes they can be harmful
Throughout the rest of your life
so let me know what you guys think uh gang gang bows bows does anyone have plates in here uh i
have the worst accident ever what what was it compound femur fracture broken tubula and fibula
how'd you do it motorcycle oh and my my bone stuck out about two inches. No!
It was probably like the whole bone was sticking out.
You want to see it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me show you.
It's so disgusting.
Yeah, I want to see that, but I thought you had a picture of the bone sticking out.
No, no, I'm going to pull it out.
Let's see that cock, Daddy, while you at it, huh?
Oh, looks like a shark bite.
That's where the bone came out.
Oh, damn.
That's a tough spot to break.
Oh, wow.
The worst.
How long ago was that?
Oh, man.
I was 15.
Oh.
Worst accident ever.
So surgery.
Oh, that's me.
That's you before and after the accident?
That's my sister.
At least you got a little Burger King out of the deal.
Yeah, man.
My sister was a G, man.
She moved out of the house. She was already moved out at that point i think she was 17 or something wow and uh
and she was working at uh wendy's full-time but i didn't like wendy's and she kept bringing me and
i kept asking for burger king and she came literally every other day and brought me burger
king how long were you in the hospital oh my god my God. Three months. Oh. Yeah, I was in there forever.
And now you have a metal rod in there?
No, they were able to save my life.
You know, I still remember my doctor's name, man.
Dr. Wigman.
Wow.
He was a G, man.
He let me curse in the operating room.
And I remember I was just cursing at him because he wouldn't let me sleep.
I go, just let me sleep.
I want to go to sleep.
He goes, we got to keep you up, kid.
So I started cursing. He goes, me whatever you want say whatever word you want
And I kept cursing calling them all kinds of they kept laughing
But uh yeah, I still remember his name. He saved my leg
He goes I'm gonna try and save your leg without putting any rods in there cuz you're I was 15
Yeah, good on him goes. I don't want yeah, and he did it did it do you have you had any surgeries besides that hair transplant?
I love surgery.
But I can't believe you had three months at 15 years old when you were in the hospital.
You see those little bars, Theo?
The bars with all the little bolts and shit?
They had to build.
You got to remember, this is 1984.
So advancement was like, it's not like it is now.
So they built like this
structure they had maintenance build this structure and uh they drilled a hole through my shin and put
a pin through it and then they clamped the ends of the the the rod and pulled it with weights so
they build like this traction pulley system on this little housing thing that they did and literally
pulled my leg straight god who, who's your doctor?
Dr. Wigzo's?
I know.
But he said, if we do this, we don't have to worry about a rod.
He goes, I really want to pull the leg straight and let it grow together slowly.
Jesus Christ.
And that's what happened.
Damn.
I bet you have to get an erection with a damn pulley now.
Yeah, I jerked off.
I jerked off so many times.
You'd have to. I had to, bro. I was going crazy. You jerked off. I jerked off so many times. You'd have to.
I had to, bro.
I was going crazy.
You can't let them win, bro.
You can't let them win.
No.
Couldn't let them win.
I would like to say, what did this guy ask us about?
Surgeries.
Oh, yeah.
I like surgery.
I like it because you go there.
They care about you.
They're nice.
They feed you.
They put you to sleep.
They wake you up. It's almost like going through like a there. They care about you. They're nice. They feed you. They put you to sleep. They wake you up.
It's almost like going through like a child infancy again or childhood.
It's like the childhood you miss.
They come and check on you every now and then.
They're nice.
Some of them's hot.
Some of them's thick.
They got all kind of people coming in there.
And they give you meds.
They make sure you're okay.
Can you read?
They take you for a walk.
I really, I prefer it. a walk it's I really I
I prefer it I hate it I hate it oh I hate the hospitals at all cost yeah
hate them hate them what was the last surgery you had to go with my nose oh
really not like a cool Hollywood nose yeah
Mirko cro-c smashed it with his elbow.
So I had to have reconstructive surgery on my nose.
Jesus.
How long did it take to heal up?
Quite some time.
That's a bad surgery.
Because they got to put these stents in there.
And they put stitches to keep it straight until it meshes and heals.
And then they got to cut it and yank those out.
Yeah.
Terrible.
Joe, you ever rode a motorcycle since yeah i just got on one uh about two months ago three months what for the
first scary no i just wanted to do it i just wanted to see if i i still had it in me did you
yeah but i didn't want to do what i used to do no you had too much going on man yeah and is there a
lot of pressure in the in the and i'm not i'm just going to go out on a short bonsai limb here and say,
is there a lot of pressure in the Asian community to do tricks on motorcycles?
I believe so.
We're just not allowed to talk about it.
We don't say much.
You know what I mean?
I might say the wrong thing and commit suicide.
You know that, Theo.
I knew it.
Let's see what this guy has to say
my name is robbie i'm from stroud england shout out to the pride of stroud brendan
theo you look like a single butch mother of three that likes to play rugby in their spare time
if you've ever been in a group chat in the uk with your mates the chances are you've
probably been bullied at some point so king it or sting it offensive friendly banter gang gang
oh i like that
but no that's my mama's hometown stroudoud. Really? Born and raised.
I think any, just to start off, if you don't mind. Anyone that has a video in the frame shows that they're wearing a soccer shirt.
Always from the UK.
Good chance.
Always from the UK.
They're balls deep in soccer out there.
Yeah, man.
He's got a Chevrolet logo on his chest.
Make a decision, man.
Dude, who wears a shirt while they take a dump?
First of all, what pervert, right?
Are you one of those guys that you go naked, though?
Dude, what freaking West Essex pedophile wears a fucking shirt while they take a poop, man?
So you take everything off, Theo?
I'll take everything off that I can.
If there's a place to set a shirt, bro,
or hang on the doorknob, I will,
even if I'm at Starbucks or something.
That's insane.
That's cool, man.
That's insane.
That is not cool.
That's insane.
So you really think you're outside like an animal
when you shit?
I can't shit well
if there's things like
holding my body back.
You know?
I don't want anything
constricting my blood flow.
I want to be able to
fucking shit like a king, dude.
Like Kamaru Usman.
Sure.
You know?
Yes.
Sure.
And that G-Star hoodie
is restrictive?
All of it is, man.
Anything that's like, just stops me up in here,
I want to be able to fucking put my arms up
if I really need leverage on this thing.
I'll fucking shit like a G, dog.
Not like one of you little hoes, bro.
Yeah, man.
It sounds like you're giving birth.
It doesn't sound like you're taking a shit, Theo.
Sounds like you need to go see a doctor.
Yeah.
Well, I don't poop every day like a lot of people.
I poop probably three times a week.
What?
I poop, I shit about three times a day.
Oh, my God.
I'm not even making that up.
You're getting after it, huh?
What are you, a machine gun?
Yeah, man.
My toilet hates me.
My toilet's like, you again?
You do work.
I fuck it up, bro.
You're like a rabbit.
That's crazy. I don't like doing that I like to let it get let it get compact and let it fucking and then you actually are serving legitimate poop
I'm not out here this fucking you know
Soft serving every afternoon like some fucking little wait, so you're building it on the Elliot
So, you know you have to shit on Tuesday, but you purposely hold it off until Wednesday? Is that what you're saying?
You only have to shit for about 15 minutes, then it goes away, dude.
I don't give in to the first sign of pressure.
What the fuck?
He likes to challenge himself.
I don't.
So it's a game for you.
It's a mental game for Theo.
It's just like, I don't know.
I find that the whole thing works better for my body.
My body knows it doesn't have the easy way out all the time.
Yeah, show that shit who's boss.
Am I right?
Yes.
I mean, something like that.
I mean, that's an easy way to say it, but yes.
Do we even answer that guy's question?
Oh, he's saying group chats like you and your buddies roasting each other?
Yeah.
I guess several of those.
It's fantastic.
Here's Darren Till.
Got off the roids right here.
Let's see what he's got to say.
What's up, Brennan, Theo, Kat, Chin, Nick?
I have a king it or sting it.
Taking baths as a man.
I am 32 years old.
It's been about five years, honestly, since I've taken a bath.
I shower.
When I bought my house, it came with a pretty big, one of those jacuzzi bathtubs.
It's about six and a half
feet long.
I am 6'1",
so, you know,
trying to take a bath when you're that
you know.
Baths
as a grown-ass man.
Gang gang,
buzz buzz, baby.
Who has the time for a bath get a hot tub daddy
yeah
come on now
yeah
boom hot tub
hot tub
and bath
and you just sit in your own filth
yeah weird man
get the fuck out of here
you have ass
ass
dingleberries
and stuff floating in there
human soup
I hate it when you clean your asshole
in the bath
and then you dunk your head
to wash your head
yeah
what the fuck
are you doing
that's called that finishing touch bro you got to do it you got to write a passage bro
so you're you're into baths i mean i think if you got to take a bath i'd do like a seasonal
bath you know around the holidays thanksgiving when i got a little extra time or something i'll
bath out i'm not a bath guy i'm not a bath
guy you know i don't mind that i just i think it's when i was young the heat didn't bother me
as much i'd be in there you'd be in there three four hours you know and drinking water i'd drink
as much as i could pee it out drink more you know you'd be in there two or three hours just learning
about how your body works but as an adult the thing I noticed as an adult, the heat
really gets me. The heat of the
water, if it's too hot, gets me.
Yeah, that's a good point, Theo.
Yeah, man.
Don't you think or no?
It's the heat.
I thought it was the asshole
dingleberries.
That's what gets me, man. Not so much the heat, just the things that were in my yeah i didn't think about i i thought it was the asshole dingleberry that's the dirty water
that's what gets me man uh not so much the heat just the things that were in my butthole floating
in the water now and those are the loose hairs from my thigh and balls yeah that's why the hot
tub filters all that shit out you got the jets yeah if you're ever wondering if a bath is bad
as an adult when you drain the water look at the sides of your tub
that was floating in the water
correct into your mouth
bro those are just lost villagers on
the on the ocean of uncertainty dog
you gotta fucking stay in there and ride it
out yeah do drinks out water
Jesus Christ
your immune system is in
incredible oh yeah if you had
if you had half a gallon of your own warm bathwater, dog.
COVID's for hoes, bro.
I feel sick.
What else you got, Nick?
A couple more debate clubs, and then we'll close it out.
This is Tiny's Tacos TV returning.
Oh, they're the best, man.
Bro, did they ever send in some more tacos for us?
Dude, my team can't find them.
They DM'd them on Instagram and then we never heard
back. We got Max Holloway
on this Friday. You fucked up, Tiny Tacos.
Is it Tiny Tacos? Let's talk Tiny.
Tiny Tacos TVs. We have
their email. Maybe they didn't see that last episode
because that was Patreon only, so they'll definitely see
this. Get in touch with us. Reach out again.
Oh, dude, we're recording.
Oh, shit. What up?
We're back, bitches! It's your boy, LeoH2O. I'm Tiny. We got another debate club for you. Oh, dude, we're recording. What up? We're back, bitches!
It's your boy, LeoH2O. I'm Tiny, and we got another debate club for you.
Oh, yeah. So today, we're making
a specialty taco for
a possible serial killer
and
OnlyFans royalty.
On the red
corner, we got that Crimson
Chin Taco. It's a Korean barbecue taco inspired by Chin himself.
The serial killer.
It's beef bulgogi, pickled carrot and daikon drizzled with that ssamjang.
Hopefully I'm saying it correctly.
Ssamjang.
Chin will correct me or kill me.
Yes. And on the blue corner, we got that only cats, only fans, only taco, only on only fans.
That hooked me.
I was inspired by a Vietnamese dish, Bao Sao Sao Ut.
And I asked two Vietnamese coworkers, and they said I said it pretty good.
You're pretty good.
I think I'll be all right yeah so on that we got
beef lemongrass garlic oyster sauce fish sauce Thai chilies brown pepper lime juice and then
we're gonna top that bad boy off with pickled cucumber onion carrot and then we're gonna have
a little dip dip with the na chum which is a garlic sugar
lime fish sauce green onion and chili dipping sauce with some vinegar you know what i'm saying
damn praise god sprinkle that with some herbs sprinkle that on my dick fam that shit is tight
put that down the hatchet that looks fantastic all in a handmade tortilla so let us know the crimson chin taco
or that only cats only fans taco only on only fans
i love these guys they should be a culture corner some episode i'm gonna say before we even start
there's only one way to find out.
I think we've got to get these bad boys to bring some in.
You know what I'm saying?
Because just from the looks around, I'm going to go with that Richard Ramirez taco.
That serial killer taco looks fantastic.
Yeah, I'm going to go with the Korean barbecue myself, man.
That was amazing.
The Cats OnlyFans available only on OnlyFans looks decent.
But that Richard Ramirez is fantastic.
That was beautiful.
I like that hoof meat, bro.
I like that hoof meat on that OnlyFans feet only, feet first OnlyFans.
If it's a Cat's OnlyFans only available on OnlyFans taco,
Cat needs to step on your taco before you eat it.
Yeah.
I want it to be foot closed.
I want it to be closed with that hook, baby.
You know, she's going to be on first with feet coming up.
That was an easy joke.
We got one more.
But look, man, I'd say, look, let's bring these freaking, bring them in.
Bring these beautiful Latinos in.
And then get their emails. Let's get these killers in studio.
And let's get the food and judge in person.
And then, yeah, get them on food truck, B.
Yeah, I will, man.
Damn, don't slip on our fucking Mexican friends, bro.
Two weeks, they're going to be in here.
Brendan, Theo.
Debate club for you.
Jackie Chan movies versus Jet Li movies.
Which were your favorite?
Who's better?
Also, Theo, you live in Nashville.
That's only four hours from St. Louis.
Come up.
Our comedy clubs are open.
Gang gang, buzz buzz.
Awful comedy clubs.
But yeah, go up there, Theo.
What's the name of them?
Have you been to the one?
Yokoi, have you been to the one yokoi have you been to the one
in the basement there the st louis funny bone were you this they allowed cigarette smoke
oh i think i've been to that one i'm not i'm not gonna say that i don't want to say the name of it
but the one i went the one i was at uh they painted their logo on the wall do you oh you
know what i'm talking about and joey diaz warned me several times not to go there and i didn't listen to him and i went and then after he goes i told you
it was a nightmare bro they used to have this one club there and uh and thanks for the call
brother and thanks for the invite um where the first it sat about 225 i bet but the first two
shows or the or the late two shows, were smoky.
You could smoke indoors.
And it was low ceilings, like seven foot.
And after about 20 minutes, you couldn't see past the first row.
It was just full smoke.
Fog style, man.
I thought that shit was illegal since like 1980.
Not in St. Louis, you could still smoke indoors.
Some of that Midwest
don't fuck around.
Yeah, they don't get
them fucked out there, man.
Yeah, you ready to die?
Who's ready to die?
I don't really fuck
with Jet Li,
to answer his question.
I'm not a huge Jet Li fan.
Well, he killed his dad
on accident.
Jet Li did?
What?
I think so, didn't he?
In that movie, remember?
Oh, in the movie.
Oh, damn it, Theo.
You gotta start that off like you did. No, on the movie set, bro. He killed his father., remember? Oh, in the movie. Damn it, Theo. You got to start that off like that.
No, on the movie set, bro.
He killed his father.
Oh, so really, you're thinking of Bruce Lee.
Brandon Lee got shot on the set of Crow on accident.
Well, look, man.
Leezy come, Leezy go, bro.
One of these motherfuckers shot the other one.
Okay?
Somebody at least put killer by him.
What if he killed the other one dog yeah hey you know what
jet lee has two movies that i know of i can't name a jet lee movie i can name two lethal weapon four
and uh romeo must die must die i do because jackie chan you got rumble in the bronx
yeah you got the movies with ch Tucker. Yes. Which are great.
There's like three of those.
Did you really say
the movies with Chris Tucker?
Yeah, it's Chris Tucker's movie.
You know the name of the movie.
I don't.
It's Rush Hour.
Rush Hour.
Are you kidding me right now?
Yeah, sorry, dude.
Okay.
Yeah, especially Brendan,
if you're going to dress
like a Rush Hour fan every day,
you should at least know the fucking,
you should at least know the name of the movie.
And then he did Rush Hour with Owen Wilson.
It was called Shanghai Nights.
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah.
It was like the exact same thing.
What was it called?
Shanghai Nights.
They were like cowboys.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah.
That was a good movie.
Yeah.
Pretty funny.
Yeah.
What else did Jackie Lee –
Jackie Lee. Sorry. What else did Jackie jackie lee jackie lee sorry what else did jackie lee do what jackie
lee fuck i'm off the waitress at that place who are you talking about theo you can't talk you said
lee lee jason lee pptt what the fuck are you talking about the only thing yeah but i don't
know at least finds an honest mistake yours just races about? The only thing he said was you're in Nashville.
At least find an honest mistake.
Yours is just racist.
Yeah, yours is like, hey.
Yours is like you're back at the Kid Rock party.
Yeah, you said yours, and right after you went,
Steven Jackson was the best president.
He was my president of the South Civil War.
He was my president.
Cheekily, chunkily, bunkily.
Who gives a fuck?
Steven Jackson, the president.
You asshole I don't know
Who you gonna go with
I'm gonna say
Jackie Chan all day
Jackie Chan all day
Rumble in the Bronx
Great movie
Rush hour
Fantastic
I love the rush hours
But
No one will forget
Well I guess
Obviously you guys
Jet Li
Jet Li Lethal Weapon 4 was amazing
He was good and he carried the beads
He didn't talk
He didn't talk though
He didn't talk at all
He didn't say a single word
Not one fucking word
He just rotated beads in his hands
And if someone got close he'd strangle with the beads
That's true
But Jackie Chan did talk and we still didn't understand Atangle with the bees. That's true. But Jackie Chan did talk, and we still didn't understand.
Yeah, but at least he's trying, though, you know?
That's true.
What about Bobby Lee?
Bobby Lee is amazing.
Bobby Lee is great.
I will go with Bobby Lee.
I'll go with Bobby Lee for the win.
Yeah, if I pick out of the three, Bobby Lee is the best kung fu movie star.
Agree.
Ever. Why hasn't Bobby Lee done best kung fu movie star ever.
Why hasn't Bobby Lee done a kung fu movie?
Dude, that would be amazing.
Probably because the call time's not 1 p.m. in the afternoon.
That's true.
You also need to know kung fu.
Yeah. Yeah, those kind of two no-nos.
Yeah.
The fact that there's a call time at all.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter what time it is.
Did you know Jet Li and Bobby Lee are related, though?
I just found that out.
It's the craziest shit.
No way.
Yeah, I found out.
When did we find out, Chen?
It's within the Asian community.
There's a newsletter?
Yeah, we get a newsletter.
It's an actual newsletter that's in a scroll.
It's a scroll that someone
hands it to you and then someone else reads
it. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool.
The truth comes
out. The
Tiger Belly producer, George Kimmel,
lived next door as a child to
Muhammad Ali
and Muhammad Ali would come over
and read him the Quran and stuff.
It's like the craziest story ever.
So he grew up rich, though.
Yeah, most likely.
That's cool.
Wow.
Very rich, huh?
Really cool.
Yeah.
So that's a thing.
That's all we got.
Mr. Joe Coy.
That was fun.
Fun, right?
I had a blast.
Fun show, man.
I wish Theo was here.
Me too.
Yeah, me too.
He wants to live in Nashville.
He wants to live in Nashville.
Fucking train.
Well, I'll be living back there as soon as it's open.
It's just not.
Dude, we're.
Listen, Newsom's getting recalled, baby.
And the restaurant's opening up next week.
25% capacity.
You know?
Yeah.
Comedy store La Jolla's opening up.
They just hit me up.
We opening up, dog.
Y'all still got them hot state taxes going, though.
Yeah, man.
Them bitches are hot.
You get what you pay for.
You get what you pay for.
How's the fucking snow out there in the one club to get up every weekend?
Yeah.
How's that street you get to visit every now and then for entertainment?
Yeah.
How's the one road that you can go to to eat a steak?
Yeah.
How's those bars all located in one place?
Yeah.
Filled with white people.
Listen to country music.
How's that?
Yeah.
How sharing each other's pie holes.
How are those bicycles that chicks ride to drink?
Yeah.
Those are the worst.
Yeah.
All the bachelorette parties.
You know,
there's a lot of definite.
Oh yeah.
There's a lot of definite nose's in the area, I think.
I will say this.
The best PB and what was it?
It was a PBR and a fried bologna sandwich was at a bar in Nashville.
And I went there all week while I was at the, what's the name of that club?
Zany's?
Zany's. I was at Zany's and I went there all week while I was at the, what's the name of that club? Zany's? Zany's.
I was at Zany's and I went to that bar every night.
Listen, the best thing in Nashville is the moonshine cherries.
If you want to get fucked up off of about three cherries, moonshine cherries.
Moonshine cherries.
Bam.
You ever had moonshine, Mr. Vaughn?
I had it when I was young, yeah. I had something that fucking one of my buddies, it fucked his eyes up.
Yeah, that's that hooch.
That ain't moonshine.
This shit fucked his eyes up, dude.
But he could blow start a damn pressure washer, though.
I will give him that.
Well, is that it?
That's it.
I'm in Tampa next weekend.
Next Friday, Saturday, Tampa, Florida.
Then after that, I'm in Cleveland. Hilarities, March 11th. Oh, that's such a good time. I know. Nick, the Friday, Saturday, Tampa, Florida. Then after that, I'm in Cleveland Hilarities, March 11th.
Oh, that's such a good club.
I know.
Nick, the owner, the best.
Cleveland Hilarities, March 11th through the 13th.
I'm back to back weekends.
And then I'm in Spokane, Washington.
Spokane.
He said Spokane, by the way.
Spokane.
Yeah.
For my B-Day.
Oh, is it?
March 18th.
That's a good club, too. That's Spokane Comedy Club.
Yeah, they own Breakdown, too.
I love those guys. My hometown, Tacoma
Comedy Club.
That's your hometown club?
Yep. Wow.
Good people. My mama's moving up there.
I forgot to tell you that. Tacoma? Right outside Tacoma.
Wow.
I told her to just drop your name. What's that festival they have every year?
Don't they have like a...
Do they have like a dandelion festival up there every year?
What is that festival?
They probably have like a dandelion festival.
They don't have much in Tacoma.
That's why I'm tripping that your mom decided to move there.
Yeah, I know.
Because I couldn't wait to get the fuck out.
It's rough.
No, but it's different now.igby island oh wippy islands that's
different that's beautiful yeah i don't know that yeah i don't know the fucking area yeah she's
gonna have a good time yeah so we'll see well i will be um where will i be i will be i'll be in
the studio next week nice miss you buddy get out of. I got a book coming out March 23rd.
Oh, shit.
No way.
Yeah.
Got a book coming out.
We already sold out of the pre-signed copies.
We're going to do more.
Do you have one on Audible for Theo?
Yep.
We got that for you.
Read by Ray Liotta.
Wow.
He just went smoking.
I bet his voice was hard.
I heard those are a nightmare.
They are hard.
I heard it's a lot of work.
It took me two weeks to read that thing.
That's what I heard.
And I didn't realize how bad I was at reading.
But goddamn, yeah.
What was hard about it, Joe Coy?
Huh?
I'm curious about that.
What was hard about it?
What was hard about reading for an audio book?
One, you got to act out the you know, like the quotes and stuff.
You have to keep doing it like line after line, right?
Yeah.
I've heard so many people go, dude, the book was the easy part.
The audible, doing the actual audible version.
But, Brendan, we'll find out if we just let him answer.
We'll find out.
We're asking.
I'm just telling you.
We're talking business and books here, so maybe take a hike, huh?
Why don't you go play in the snow baby
i'm trying to as soon as we get out of this episode i'm just trying to find out what is
the fucking hard part about doing an audio book from somebody who wrote an audio book yeah you
gotta read you gotta read it perfectly like you can't read it the way like when you read you skip
words and both you gotta read it word for word you got to land those punctuations
correctly the quotes you like to do it in a character you want to sound like it's an actual
quote you know what i mean so a lot of that it was oh how to do it yourself right oh i did it
myself yeah some people have other people doing it just not as good yeah i think they do it because
it's like a stunt throat yeah and and another thing was reliving those stories
You know it got emotional
so
Like there's a lot of things that I talked about my childhood with my brother and it's his drug addiction
And it was just it was hard. What was his drug of choice?
Well, you know he all you know my brother like
He's he's he's still in a hospital to this day. Oh, wow. So, yeah. Let's go. It was rough.
That's tough.
Reliving that and reading it out loud.
You know?
So, that was hard.
It was kind of emotional.
It was a roller coaster in that booth.
Sounds good, though, man.
Oh, thank you, man.
It's pretty cool.
I can't believe it's going to be you.
How long did it take you?
It's in Barnes & Noble.
Like, let's go.
That's dope, man.
That's awesome.
I love you, Theo. That's awesome, man. That's awesome. I love you, Theo.
That's awesome, man.
Love you too, man.
Love you guys.
Thank you.
See you next week, buddy.
All right, man.
I'll see you next week, man.
Now let me broadcast
about this little podcast king
Cause he got Brad Sting
Cause he fought back
Theo got that
Hit a gray black bag
Shopped like a wrestler
Even though he never rocked masks
And you know Kat's gonna take your breath.
Lucky she got nine lives cause she fresh to death.
And I hope I don't come off strong or make you log off.
When I'm in your DMs and I send another hot dog.
Just kidding, didn't send that pic.
That would be too premature.
Just like Nick.
I'm slick, I'm sick.
Too legit to quit.
They be calling me Chappelle cause I got the tricks
And tell me how am I supposed to live without Chin singing
He gon' take you on a date and just do a lot of drinking
Ain't no thing, chicken wing, it's the bat with the rings
And the beat, who can swing, it's the king and the sting
No kidding, yo, you better listen
King in the sting, killing any opposition
Bumble and mouse, the bee and the critter
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz
Go get that hitter
That hitter
No chance of pumping them brakes
Don't make it, no stops
Don't take it, no breaks
Cause K-A-T-S
Take first place
It's King and the Sting
You can rap, sing, whatever you want
No one's gonna beat Lil' Bratz
It's not happening
Really? You think so?
I think you'd be surprised.
I really do.
Hey, we don't.
Uh, one second.
Okay. I'm prophetic Machiavelli, thuggin' like Tupac Call me D'Elia cause my pockets heavy Cheeto cause my rock is ready, when it's time to rock
I'll build bird to get his chopper ready
Now those brows palm sweaty, probably vomit mom's spaghetti
In this state of mind, always try to keep it balanced
So I'm younger than D'Elia, but my soul is old as Callan
Yo, Brandon lookin' like he live with 16 kittens
And Theo lookin' like he yells 4 when fishin'
4!
I rhyme tight, no foes don't matter
God bless me, like I got bad allergies
This boy might just burn white rappers
Like Nick Boyd, bike club, burn those calories
Hey, no kiddin', yo, you better listen
King in the stink, killin' any opposition
Bumble and mouse, the bee and the critter
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, go get that hitter
That hitter
No chance of pumping them brakes
No making no stops, no taking no breaks
Cause K-A-T-S take first place
It's king and a stank
Woo!
Here we go!
K-A-T-S get so hot Hey, we go. Outro Music