The Golden Hour - Episode 112: Hashtag UFC 259
Episode Date: March 12, 2021The guys chime in on the drama between Dominick Cruz and Hans Molenkamp of "Monster Energy", and talk UFC 259, Brendan's Eminem story, Aljamain Sterling vs Petr Yan, Theo vs Hans,... Meghan and Harry vs The Institution, Celebrity Boxing, Smokey Joe's King and the Sting art piece, All New Clown My Hound's, Lil Brow's makes a surprise visit and debuts 2 New Songs and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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But also, those castles seem pretty chilly.
Yeah.
You know, like there's the breeze all night, man.
The open windows. Stone walls. There's the breeze all night man the open windows stone
walls there's guards everywhere all the fucking time yeah the guy's shooting people walking up
to the castle sounds fun it sounds dope i've been to medieval times i can't get enough
back off my broccolini. Get your life together.
It is.
Don't touch me, bro.
I'm not touching you, dude.
Larry King chair.
Old faithful.
You still got that side chair, huh?
Now that he passed away, it's mine now.
No more sharing with Larry King.
Just have to ship this bitch back to him, huh?
Yeah, what happened? I thought we ordered that other... Didn't they tape on
that arm? They did
and then I broke it, remember? I like went to get up
and get like a taco or some shit and it fell off.
That sounds good.
A little tiny taco for your ass?
Yeah, a regular taco.
Yeah, I want my
big sick taco.
I had... What'd I have?
Oh, I had Fat Boy tacos the other day.
Really?
I heard they're not that good.
They were fat.
They were nice.
Really?
Actually, I didn't hear that.
I just made that up.
That's fair.
No.
Yeah, that guy Wallenkamp or whatever was all TO'd, huh?
Is it Mullenkamp?
Mullenkamp.
Hans Mullenkamp.
Now, I've worked with the fella.
Have you?
I worked with the fella for...
And now is he a decent man?
He is.
What kind of man is he?
Yeah, he's a decent dude.
And is he tall or what kind of man is he?
He's about 6'2", probably 240, 250.
Okay, so that's heavyweight, huh?
Or is that light heavyweight?
That's heavy.
That's heavyweight.
That's why Dom wanted to do a charity match with him.
Ooh, that'd be a great fight.
I don't think so.
You don't?
No.
Dom would absolutely beat the shit out of him.
And is the man a registered...
He's a black belt.
Oh, he's a black belt.
Yeah, he's been in the world.
He's a black belt under your boy.
Who's that?
Dustin?
No, no, no, no, no, no. Your boy. Fucking the guy in San Diego. Black belt under your boy. Who's that? Dustin?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Your boy.
Fucking the guy in San Diego.
Black belt under who?
You know who I'm talking about.
No, hold on.
The special forces dude.
No, hold on.
Are you talking about a black belt under who?
Jocko.
Jocko. You're talking about Jocko.
He's a black belt under Jocko.
Dean Lister. Really? really yeah which is pretty legit oh i'm not i'm not saying it's not legit dude i'm a white belt yeah i know i'm saying
he'll roll you the fuck up is what i'm trying to do so watch your p's and q's by wall and count
yep he's a thick boy again if i could gain 100 if i gain 100 i i'm not saying i could take him
but i'm saying I would.
You would entertain a celebrity fight?
Dude, I'd beat that.
What does he sell?
He sells Monster?
Easy on the celebrity, heavy on the fight.
What?
He sells Monster.
Yeah, he slanks a Monster.
That poison juice?
Dude, I'll drink half a fucking can of Bang and beat that dude.
Ooh, bang it up, dog.
Dude, I'll do two lines of fucking Johnson & Johnson baby powder
and fucking wrap that bad boy up.
Now, you're going to have to deal with Big Gene in Nashville first.
I feel like she's been whooping that ass since day one.
Yeah, I was.
I'd like to see her and Hans go at it.
Again, I've never had any issues with the dude.
He was always cool to me.
But I would like to see him and Dom go at it, obviously.
You don't, though. Like, you don't. Well, I mean, if you like to see him and dom go at it obviously you don't though
like you don't well i mean if you want to see a straight up beat down you i mean if you don't
like the guy you want to see that you think dominic would beat him beat the fucking breaks
off of him i love i like dominic man because he always he always he just brings an edge to stuff
he's exciting you know say what you people say this and that and he can't beat this guy
and they stop that fight early and this and that but the guy uh i'd love to see he's exciting
yeah he's older you know he's older he looked good though good win yeah let the guy fight let
him fight who cares uh who knows if monster energy is even really a helpful tool for fighters put it
to the fucking test.
Have them each drink two cans of monster.
That's fair.
Have them fucking put in some IVs and drag it straight to the dome, dog.
Dude, that's what I'm saying.
Get a can of fucking... There he is right there, bro.
That's why Dom's like, dude, what the fuck?
He's like, what are you going to do for my money?
He's like, get on the front of this bike, dog.
Look like my bitch.
I want you to look like E.T. for me on this fucking bike.
No, that's a bit much, dude.
And he made him wear the...
Would you do it for 5K?
Huh?
Would you do that for 5K?
Ride that little bike?
Yeah, you got to be on the front, though.
No, if I was on the back.
Yeah, I was going to say, I'd give you 5K to ride in the front like that with me.
If I could ride on his back while he drove it.
Ooh, that'd be fun.
That looks like you and me almost.
Yeah, it does.
Just me and David cruising 2014.
Wow.
What are we guys talking about?
Why do you have a suit on?
And why are you dressed like you're about to suck blood later that evening?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, well, you look like an extra from fucking True Blood.
What's going on there?
And why is he obviously, you're obviously wasted,
and he's obviously asking you to not talk in the room.
He's obviously asking you to go, what the fuck else you want, man?
Yeah, dude, why are you fucking dressed like this?
Why are you grilling me about monster energy drinks?
Yeah, why are you dressed like fucking somebody who,
like a fucking vampire, dog?
No offense.
Sorry, Nick.
It looks great, though.
It looks like a good time.
Yeah, it looks like a good time. Was that interview a sit-down? Sorry, Nick. It looks great, though. It looks like a good time. Yeah, it looks like a good time.
Was that interview a sit-down?
No, no.
I made him pose for a picture with me, but I didn't even pay him.
It was at a sports conference in MIT.
I paid like $400 to go.
I thought I might want to work in sports analytics before podcasting.
Tight move, man.
But why did you –
There's so many layers to Nick.
Yeah, but why did Nick –
Why did you go full Transylvania for the fucking evening now?
Yeah.
Who was your inspiration?
A TED Talk?
Why are you dressed like that, dude?
And where's the Bluetooth?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What was it?
What was the dressing vibe?
Nick, that's a different vibe for you.
Yeah.
It was all suits.
I love putting a suit on.
Any excuse.
But I usually just don't have one.
But yeah, I was.
You're a good eye.
I was hung over.
Good eye. The night before, I went to some townie bar in like small town boston got hammered super professional that's good it was so fun it was so fun that's awesome man you look like you
had to take your pager off before you sat down yeah i don't want the Red Cross hitting you up for a fucking extra ounce, bro.
You look like a fucking total dude that drinks vodka and blood.
He got sloshed the night before, Nick.
Is this a real picture of Dominic and Hans Wallen?
This is why guys have so many problems with them.
Because in order to get your money, you got to take shit like this with them.
And you got to like and comment on it.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That's kind of tacky.
Yeah, it's a super tool move, but also it's pretty easy money, man.
You know what I'm saying?
Like these guys are going through some shit to get sponsors.
All you got to do is take a picture on the bike and look like a bitch.
Take the pic, dog.
I don't know.
Look, no.
I mean, I did a photo shoot with him for whatever reason.
I ended up taking more pictures of him than me.
No, I'm not saying. Look, a photo shoot with him for whatever reason. I ended up taking more pictures of him than me. No, I'm not saying.
Look, I don't know anything about the guy.
And there's probably, you know, I'm sure the guy would beat my ass.
Do you think he would?
I'd like to see it.
Yeah, thank you.
I'd rather see Dom Cruise on you.
See him just kind of fuck you up a little bit.
What?
I'm not in this, dude.
I would rather watch him and Dom Cruise.
Well, you put yourself into it.
Oh, damn. Yep. Well, look, man. Welcome, son. I would rather watch him and Dom. Well, you put yourself into it. Oh, damn.
Yeah.
Well, look, man.
I'm looking.
Welcome, son.
I got an injury.
Your neck still fucked up?
No, I think I got probably tested positive for COVID.
So I'm out, guys.
So it's between you, Dom, and Hans.
I'm out, guys.
Oh, dude.
If you post one more thirsty comment on a fighter's Instagram or on UFC duty.
I'm going to freak the fuck out, man.
What did I write?
Dude, you're such a thirsty bitch.
On any UFC, he's all, oh, my God, Dana, only $70.99 for all this?
Can't thank you enough, man.
Hashtag UFC 259.
Good looking, big bro.
I'm like, what the fuck is going on here?
That must be a fake thing.
I've never done nothing like that.
Yeah, you do all that.
I wrote on Dan Hooker got locked away from his child for fucking a month.
And then on any fighter's post, y'all, Dan, stay strong, man.
You a beast.
This is a war.
God damn it, dude.
Oh, you're fucking calling me out about my tweet.
That's what you're saying.
Yeah, man.
My invite tweets.
God, you're so thirsty.
I'm caught up.
And all the fighters are like, this card's ridiculous, man.
Thanks, Dana.
You're the best.
Hashtag UFC rules.
God, get off his nuts, bro.
Dude, I'm a fucking white belt.
I'm trying to make my way up the fucking ranks.
No more, bro.
No more.
We got it.
I only did one this week.
No, every pay-per-view, it's you and Steve-O.
Steve-O does too many.
Two thirsty bitches, man.
Steve-O does too many, dude.
And I only do usually one exclamation point.
Both of these dudes would beat the heck out of me.
What a fight.
That's true.
Hashtag UFC 18 or whatever the fuck it is.
What a great tweet, though.
That's actually a pretty good tweet, isn't it?
Only $70.99, and I'm a member of Fight Pass, too.
Thanks, Dana.
I never wrote that.
That's Nick selling those tweets.
Thirsty bitches, man.
That is Nick selling those tweets.
They won't air mine.
I'm trying.
Dude, speaking of thirsty, nobody's thirstier than you.
You sell every liquid available.
You sell fucking coffee. You sell fucking liquor. I don't sell coffee. Well, I'm goingier than you. You sell every liquid available. You sell fucking coffee.
You sell fucking liquor.
Well, I'm going to sell liquor.
You used to sell coffee.
Yeah, but I own all that shit.
You don't have anything to do with that.
I'm trying to fight, dude.
Uncle Dana, great fight tonight, man.
Thanks for everything.
Yay.
All I said was pay the man, Dana.
That's what I fucking told him.
No, don't go back on it now.
I never wrote that.
Nick is selling that at night to someone.
You look like you leave comments on fucking you porn, too.
Oh, man, this girl's talented.
I never did that.
Crazy can do that with his hands.
Oh, wow.
Cindy's been doing yoga, huh?
She's so flexible.
This is unreal.
Hashtag talented.
Hashtag UFC 247.
Dude, the worst was one of them I was doing tweets,
but it was for the wrong UFC week.
So I kept putting like a future fight.
Yeah, I've done that too.
Oh, there you go.
No, I didn't do it for the broadcast.
Eminem asked me to post something, and I put the hashtag wrong UFC.
I felt so fucking stupid. I was off by it. Oh, you're name dropping Eminem asked me to post something and I put the hashtag wrong UFC. I felt so fucking stupid.
I was off by it.
Oh, you're name dropping Eminem, dude.
You're name dropping liberal
rappers. Get the fuck out of here, man.
I'm sorry I don't hang out with far
right Kid Rock every fucking Thursday.
I hung out with him one, two
times, maybe three times. He's a legend
so I'll give you that. Thank you.
It's well documented.
We both celebrate Kid Rock here.
We love Kid Rock.
That's a good point.
Here's what I'm saying, dude.
I like to tweet during the fights.
It makes me feel a part of the situation.
And it's fun to try to get your tweet on the TV show.
Yeah, no, I can tell.
Why don't you get yours on?
Because I don't want any part of that.
Yeah, you do, dude.
No, I don't.
You are envious is what you are.
No, I'm not. It enrages me when I see you pose any part of that. Yeah, you do, dude. No, I don't. You are envious is what you are. No, I'm not.
It enrages me when I see you pose.
This is unbelievable.
These guys are really sweating in there.
Hashtag UFC 2.
UFC 2?
Bro, that's a problem.
Yeah, some of the fight pass, you watch it, you think it's live,
and you're, like, tweeting about old fights.
Dude, yeah, you and Steve-O, man.
I'm like, I can't wait for these thirsty tweets.
Steve-O does too many. He's on every fight. I will say that, yeah. Yeah, Steve-O, man, I'm like, I can't wait for these thirsty tweets. Steve-O does too many.
He's on every fight.
I will say that, yeah.
Yeah, I'll give you that.
But I don't think I do too many, but.
But you definitely try to make the broadcast.
Bren-V-A-C.
I think you're envious, dude.
I'm going to start calling you Bren-V-A-Shub.
No, it enrages me.
No, it doesn't.
Dude, it enrages me.
Fucking let's go!
When the paper you started, we had a party at my house.
I said, how long before Theo tweets something to get on the broadcast?
What's the over-under on fights?
This award is the boringest fight on the card.
Dude, that was a war.
That was Al Jermaine Sterling.
That was not a war.
He said it was a real battle.
That was a real ass-whip.
And Paterion.
That was a fucking war, dude.
That was not a war.
What? That was a one-sided ass-kicking. thought peddler was winning peddler on you thought he's winning yeah yeah yeah al jamae is about to
quit did you think he's about to quit oh yeah he's lucky that knee came through he's about to lose
that fight i can't believe you need him russians dude yeah he's getting a russian dude yeah russians
getting a russian that's a fucking Mother's Day gift in Russia dude
hell yeah
fucking knee to the dome
that's an Easter gift Doug
bro they have dolls there
children's dolls
you can get at like a store
and they're made out of stone
fuck yeah
and you need them
I don't know if you need them
but it's just sad
to think of that
some kid carrying a heavy
seven eight pound doll
that's why they're so swole
oh jacked
they don't have any and a lot of russians if you
there's science done they don't even have like a lot of feelings inside of them
no feelings a lot of hair though russians in a nutshell no feelings tons of hair that's crazy
huh they come out wrestling dog they come out with a then there's they snap the mom down right
boom bitch really yep get over unders oh. You got to change levels, man.
Yep.
That's what I do now.
You did shoot on me once.
I'll even do it during a blowjob, dude, that I'm getting.
Yeah, whatever.
You look like you get your dick sucked with an N95 mask on.
That's not even that funny.
Yeah, girl, take that shit.
Take that.
Take that.
You're disgusting.
You're disgusting, dude.
And look, all I'm saying is I'd like to see you and Wallenkamp fight.
I'm retired, my man.
I'll tell you, things aren't going.
Would you come out of retirement?
For him?
No.
I'd fight The Rock.
Listen.
Here's what I'm saying.
Hold on.
Here's the thing.
If you see me doing a celebrity, and easy on the celebrity.
If you see me doing a celebrity boxing match or
MMA match things ain't going well no one that has shit going on in life is doing or ct liberty
let's do that there was a ct liberty fight so it's mentally challenged you mean like Mike Tyson
you can't get me to do it man but here's what i'm saying half a mil from half a mil yeah daddy huh oh you
i'm asking you answer the question first for half a mil half a mil flight of florida
for you to fight wallen camp no you heard it first wallen camp now i would pay half a mil
to watch you fight them yeah what an asshole. Then fucking pay the money, man.
Pay the man, Dana. I'm telling you
this, dude.
Put the money where the mouth is, boy.
I think he's about to lose his job.
I'll gain 25 pounds and fist fight
that dude behind a Dunkin' Donuts.
He might be taking celebrity boxing matches.
He's about to lose his job.
Maybe we give him the culture corner.
I'm trying to help everybody here.
I'm saying Dominic Cruz, man. know i like dominic cruz man i think dominic cruz should come he's so you never know what he's gonna do he's like kind of angry and he's fucking
but he's not afraid to confront people on air no dude i think he should come out with dominic
cruz lines you know and it's like a ship you get on and you don't really know where it's gonna go
dude it might hit other ships you don't even it's constantly like shaking and going like all these
different ways it'll go on land you're like oh my god this boat like a hover boat yeah damn this
might end up in ohio you might end up in florida you might end up in the fucking you know yeah you
might end up with that strap dude i love it i love it So tag team match. Here's what I'm saying. Tag team match.
You.
Me and Cruz.
Finally, I'm trying to get to look.
It's so hard to obviously get Brendan to do anything.
So I'm trying to get you to do something.
So what I'm saying is me and Cruz.
You're the biggest celebrity.
Me and Cruz.
Okay.
Me and The Rock.
Versus you and Holland Camp.
No.
Not big enough.
Not big enough.
Look, man. I'm going to say it to you again. I don't think you heard me i think you're hearing other stuff and i heard you i think you're hearing
like spelling lessons no i heard middle school i heard you okay me now you're not now you're
not watching a pay-per-view you're not trying to get on the broadcast
why are you throwing me under the fucking pay-per-view bus just because they won't put
your tweets through dude i don't tweet during the fights.
Yes, you do.
I'm watching the fights.
I've sat there with you.
Unless it's extreme controversy,
I don't tweet during the fights, man.
I watch the fights.
Here's what I'm offering you, Brennan.
I'm offering you a business thing.
Okay, but you got to come with a little more than that.
Let me talk to Tiger.
Put Tiger on the phone.
Okay.
Boston might do it.
His schedule's open.
His schedule's open. Boston is the ring card girl okay
facts bro here's what i'm saying me and joe uh jollen camp versus you and cruise and cruise yeah
no no no fuck i said fuck it up me and cruise versus you and jollen camp
No, no, no. Fuck.
I said fuck it up.
Me and Cruz versus you and Jalen Camp.
That happened.
Half a mil.
For half a mil.
And we all.
So that's 250.
Yeah.
But another 250 if you guys win.
No, I need more money.
We have to split it up in the ring.
They dump the money in the ring.
That'd be cool.
You guys have to divide it right there.
That'd be dope.
Here you go, man.
Dude, how long is UFC away from putting that winning cast just in the ring and having them pick it up?
Like a Scrooge McDuck vibe?
No, like strippers, bro.
They treat those guys like strippers.
Ooh, they do.
Look, look, look.
I'm going to be honest with you, man.
Please do.
Please do.
Brendan, let me be honest.
Please.
You need help.
What do you mean?
I'm taking a multivitamin.
You need more, man.
It's just when I look at you i feel
sad no inspired hopeful okay i'll take that yeah i'll go lightly hopeful but what i'm saying is
no man you need you look you used to look a little more kind of green in the gills you used to look
healthier because i used to drink grains dude i used to drink healthier. Because I used to drink greens, dude. I used to drink athletic greens.
And what happened?
You took a week off?
Yeah.
And you don't seem the same.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I need all the athletic greens you can get, man.
It's a daily all-in-one superfood powder.
Yeah, you didn't even park.
You parked in the handicap spot today.
I don't know where I'm at.
Yeah.
Did we do a show?
I don't know, man.
I need my athletic greens.
Contains 75 vitamins, minerals, whole foods, sourced ingredients,
including a multivitamin, multimineral, probiotic, green superfood blend, and more.
So check it out, man.
Get your greens self-checked right now.
That's right.
Go to athleticgreens.com slash K-A-T-S.
And look, they have all, sometimes if you wake up, you see all the vegetables,
it's overwhelming.
You see a pack of radish you see a uh broccoli you know how to let this every day man it's just
too much so drink it take take advantage of it times have changed you don't have to you know
you don't have to fucking uh you don't have to huff down those carrots with you guzzle it down
man deep tilt this stuff yeah and guess what you can also get a free one-year supply of that vitamin d and a five free
travel packs just go to athleticgreens.com slash k-a-t-s and get your free year supply of vitamin
d and five free travel packs today again that's athleticgreens.com slash k-a-t-s i'm just i'm
gonna go into my job i gotta get i'm just i'm just pumping. Brendan, you sleep. Do you sleep?
I'm a sleeper, daddy.
And you know what?
It's not even me.
It's Helix Sleep mattresses, dude.
I got friends trying to crash at my crib.
Not because they like me.
They just love my beds.
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They love it.
Because not all beds are made equal, man.
These are mattresses made for your thick ass.
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off.
Hey, King of the Sting.
Oh, you scared me. Let's do it. No, who is it?
Look, I've been trying to get out of this conversation.
No problem. I can pass.
It's not happening.
A million hypothetical dollars.
Hey, I'm not the UFC social media team. It ain not happening. It's not happening. A million hypothetical dollars. Hey, I'm not the UFC social media team.
It ain't happening.
Look, just because I have a huge crush on Laura Sanko doesn't make me a bad person.
All right?
That's your goal, just to get closer to her?
No.
Let me see what she says.
Nope, ain't happening.
Brendan, she's married and she has animals at home.
Yeah, she's on a farm.
Yeah, but she's also a fighter.
You know that?
She used to be. She's a journalist now. She's also the best they have. Yeah, but she's also a fighter. You know that? She used to be.
She's a journalist now.
She's also the best they have to offer, and I don't want you fucking that up.
Bro, I would never do anything like that, dude.
She's a decent lady.
Well, she told me your tweets are bothering her, so can you stop?
I didn't.
None of them have been directed at her.
I know, but she doesn't like them either, so can you stop?
Okay.
Now she's the color girl on LFA on Friday friday nights because pat militich stormed the
capital really he was he did not he went to the he went to the he went to the rally how dare you
wouldn't support that no well dana does but dana doesn't own lfa oh how about this then me Dominic Cruz and Pat Miletic verse
So it's a three way?
Yeah.
Versus John Mollenkamp
you
Okay.
Laura Sanko.
Oh!
Oh, you see?
You throw one cutie
and now he's in.
So the problem is
Donnie Mollenkamp
isn't fucking handsome enough.
That's the problem.
We got a follow up from artist Smokey Joe.
He was the guy who had all the art in his house.
Hey, King of the Sting.
Brandon, Theo, Chin, Cat, Chappelle, Nick.
What's up, you guys?
This is Smokey Joe here of Smokey Joe Paint Co.
I called in about three or four weeks ago.
Oh, yeah, I remember.
I gave you guys a King of the Sting about painting you guys said where's that king in the sting piece which
is absolutely right so this last week i was doing a live painting at the w hotel here in phoenix
arizona and i whipped up this bad boy that was a consonant oh the studio. Let me know how you guys like it. Got that
thick boy and that rat king.
Let's go. El rey de raton,
papa. Look, I'll say this. That's the
prize for the fight.
Say check that belt.
You look like you have a touch of the downs,
but whatever. Love you guys. Thanks for the funny podcast.
That's my finishing move. Touch of
the downs, boy, and I'm going to fucking put it on you.
Play system of downs. I'm going to put it on fucking Johnny Do system of downs i'm gonna put it on fucking johnny dolly camp boy everybody's getting this shit you
too chin you quiet fuck you know jin's hung over because he had an xc party over the weekend in
palm springs did you chin you do chin was saying it's me and my friends man it's a lot of love
what it was yeah it was like a get together with all our friends who've known each other for more
than 20 years it was just like a nice loving getogether with all our friends who have known each other for more than 20 years.
It was just like a nice, loving get-together.
And then Chin texted me, a mouth is a mouth.
Am I right?
He didn't say that?
No, he didn't.
Oh, he probably tried to get it on the UFC tweet block.
Brandon is full of S-H-I-T, and you know what that is, shit.
Mouth is a mouth.
Am I right?
Nobody said that, man.
What happened, Chin?
Hashtag UFC 259.
Brendan, I will say this, and don't laugh that much at it, Nick.
I will say this, is what happened?
You looked dehydrated, Chin.
Do I?
Yeah.
And you tried giving blood and couldn't give blood because you're dehydrated.
I didn't even think about that, but that's right.
I tried to prick my finger for blood to do a hormone test
there's no blood i barely get even half a drop out well you've been using god's blood to do drugs
it's not like he's gonna fucking night i'm sure really nilly with it right after i'm sure back
in the day you probably stuck some xc pills up that ass am i right am i right no you are not
right get that out of here am i hey first 48. Unless you want to fucking take it to the ring, dude.
Will you take it to the ring?
First 49, bitch.
I got an extra hour of fucking heat for you.
All you guys.
I got all the time for you, bitch.
All you guys can get it.
Yeah, dude.
Don't hurt your neck fucking flexing, son.
What happened, Chin?
You doing dope?
No, no, no.
I didn't even tell Brendan exactly what it was.
I just said go ahead and guess.
I said just go ahead And guess what it was
But it is something you take
Molly
And then you start to feel
The music a little bit more
Yeah
So we watched the fight
And we had like music playing
And then we just had
All our friends
Who love each other very much
Were like brothers and sisters
Yeah you keep saying that
And then we would just
Enjoy the night
It wasn't even like dancing
It was just us being like
Happy around each other
Amen
It's Native American
Yeah
First of all
It's very Native American
And we all doing We all doing orgies or whatever No no no Nothing sexual Oh wow It's just us being happy around each other. Amen. It's Native American. Yeah. First of all, it's very Native American.
Ring sticks?
Were y'all doing orgies or whatever?
No, no, no, no. Nothing sexual.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Did you want him to stop fighting when you were watching?
No.
Actually, that's a weird balance.
Yeah, did you tweet?
You should have tweeted, huh?
I wish these guys would just hug.
Hashtag UFC 59.
Yeah, huh?
Somebody get these guys a couple of spray bottles, huh?
And some electric hand fans. Yeah, Chin? Somebody get these guys a couple of spray bottles, huh? And some electric hand fans.
Yeah, Chin's tweets got real gay.
It was like, man, these boys are sweaty.
Yeah.
Oh, put a pacifier in each one of these guys' mouths, huh?
And turn up the bass.
Why are we moving to some debate club?
Yeah, man.
This guy has an unexpected one.
Wait, hold on a second second thank you for the art for real this is really dope we want that in studios well i think that should be the prize
of the championship bout i'm not fighting you dude fine you heard it here look let's get that
on repeat during the episode i'm not finding'm not fine with you. Also tweet that. Also tweet that. Yeah.
Hashtag UFC 250.
I mean, I'll fight you outside real quick.
Just get that painting if you want.
Nah, bro, I want full throttle, dude.
It'd be first 15 minutes.
How about that?
Dude, I think seven-minute rounds, bro.
In a small space.
In here.
Yeah, that's fine.
Winner gets that painting.
Yeah.
All right.
I say timeless rounds.
No rounds.
Timeless rounds?
Timeless rounds, dude,
sounds like a fucking
antique artillery store.
It sounds great.
Or one of those
compilations.
Welcome to timeless rounds.
You know, we got some
44 cals over here
that are from the Civil War or
from the beginning of time yeah you know Cain and Abel used to shoot these at each other oh we got
a hand grenade that uh Amelia Earhart apparently gave to someone man these are timeless see what
this guy says what's up guys this Christian from Long Island, New York.
Checking in for a debate club.
I got a debate club for y'all.
Y'all gonna do this debate.
I wanna see what's on your lawn.
I got a debate.
Call an attorney, bro. That's the advice.
For a debate club.
I got a debate club for y'all.
Y'all gonna do this debate.
I wanna see what's on your lawn.
Come on.
Who would you choose?
Harry and Meghan?
Or the institution?
We heard what's happening with them over there in the UK.
We're on one side.
Them people different.
They different.
So I want to know y'all opinion.
Who y'all got?
Harry and Megan?
Bam, bam.
Or that gang that they call the institution?
Let me know.
And by the way, I love all y'all in there.
Y'all make my day.
Every time y'all drop at 12 a.m. on Fridays, New York time.
I'm watching.
So game, game, buzz, buzz.
Take care, y'all.
Feliz, Papa Iwal.
Iwal.
From the Empire State.
Dude, Pete Rose.
I love the first of all, I love the Pete Rose.
Is that Elton John?
Is that an Elton John puzzle behind him?
Is that Elton John?
I don't think so, dude.
That's Elton John on a horse.
I think probably sitting at a piano. If Elton John's on don't think so, dude. That's Elton John on a horse. I think probably sitting at a piano.
If Elton John's on anything, it's a man.
Okay.
If that horse has a male first name, dude.
That's Elton John on Dave.
Yeah.
First of all, I am shocked by this.
I thought this guy's question was going to be about Frankie Edgar.
I had no idea that this guy's question was going to land where it did.
The royal family.
Did you see any of that?
I didn't see the interview, but I saw the cliff notes.
And we're only getting one side of it.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
Right.
We're only getting what, yeah.
I mean, yeah, it's like the stale Oprah kind of soundbite-y side.
Yeah, I want to see Queen Elizabeth on a hot mic start talking about it.
Also, that family's how old hundreds of years of yeah there can be a tad racist man well i don't think it's
racist they might just kind of like being white i mean first of all we don't even know they didn't
they love them getting married didn't they want them living i mean no they didn't markel and him
chose to leave man markel's a kind of thotty she She's thotty, yeah. Around L.A., she's thotty.
Well, look, I'm sorry, Your Highness.
I don't know about thotty, but I think if you move to,
you don't move to L.A. because you're trying to have a peaceful life with your husband.
They're in Montecito.
Dude, Montecito is a place where rich people hide.
That's where Ellen DeGeneres is at.
That's where George Clooney's at.
That's 20 million up, son, for son for a crew oh you can't even yeah dude i've driven up there you know it's
11 to drive through the neighborhood up there yeah that's true it should be might even joke
google how much does it cost to drive through a pebble beach neighborhood you ever been up yeah
you've been up there yeah i just told you i've been up there. Yeah, I just told you I've been up there. I drove through it. I know. I thought it was a lie. Huh.
He thinks I lied.
Bullshit.
Hashtag UFC 257.
I'm going to get all those Photoshopped.
70 mile drive.
Holy shit.
$10.
See, you lied.
It's $10.57.
Yeah.
Hashtag UFC 275.
But isn't that crazy?
Imagine if it cost to just drive through your neighborhood.
It's nuts, huh?
Every time you want to get in your neighborhood, it's $10.
And of course, Queen Elizabeth is pissed because you're supposed to live in that fucking castle.
What's wrong with the dope-ass castle?
Then you just take all your shit and get out and move to LA. She's like, what the fuck's going on here?
Yeah, and she came and got
harry and then she jetted out you know now harry going bad on all the family i hear i i i predict
this i think that i i don't know if they stay together i don't know but i don't still who
really knows that's what i'm saying i we just got one side of the story right now i just feel like
they could have like i would have loved her
seen her start some big acting thing over in the uk and make some really cool stuff over there
and kind of champion what's going on over there were they that racist that she felt it didn't
sound like there was that racist they said hey the baby might have a little color look dog they
said that baby might come out of shade dark than we used to around this castle they're like we're
fucking out of here we're moving to la like all right we're just wondering yeah yeah so i think look i think
sometimes you gotta darken up the baby dude you know what i'm saying make a little tan on them
yeah if you've been to detroit sometimes you gotta darken up the baby now you know who's
taking heat right now probably gonna lose his job appear is piers morgan who i love but he went hard
on uh megan and uh harry there well the
biggest thing is just against tradition it's like you know the media constantly uses like racism
accusations of racism to attack tradition you know harry and uh magel or whatever got
megan sorry got uh they got $7 million to do their podcast.
Oh, shit.
They have a podcast?
Yeah. So look, let's just They're selling something.
They're selling something.
That's the thing. They're selling. You gotta look at them.
You can't look at them as like human
beings that are trying to share real information.
You gotta look at them as sales people.
Yeah, there's an agenda with all this.
They's a sales people.
So you're not at a place where you're talking to somebody you're at a barnes and noble so if you want to leave with any information you're paying
for and then she said she had mental issues she was suicidal because they're so mean to her and
she went to someone in the castle and they're like bitch we're 700 years old go to better
help.com don't go cat. And also I thought you,
Harry is part of like,
is the head of like,
is on the board of like 15 mental health organizations.
Yeah.
Ask him for help.
Talk to your husband,
Doug.
Look,
I know.
I understand if you get tired of the ballrooms and people fake sword fighting and shit over the tradition.
That shit sounds lit.
Eating chicken with your hands,
drinking from those big fucking vats. Like in Game original game of thrones it's the original milk boys i think she should have just stuck with it and and lived it out but maybe she just got
tired of it you know um she always wanted to be a uh actress but also those castles seem pretty
chilly you know like there's the breeze all night,
man, the open windows.
Stone walls. There's guards everywhere all the
fucking time. Yeah, the guy's shooting people walking
up to the castle. Sounds fun. It sounds
dope. I've been to medieval times.
I can't get enough of it.
I think it's probably like being trapped at medieval
times. Yeah. Gilded cage.
You can boss people around. Off with their
heads. Be sick. Yeah. They said they paid $25 million medieval times yeah gilded cage you can boss people around off with their heads be sick yeah
they said they paid 25 million to do the podcast and seven and nine million to do that interview
with oprah wow so 25 million for the spotify podcast right damn spotify pain so let's just
like i don't know but also who though but i like look i like i don't think. But also, who the fuck is listening to those two on the podcast? But I like Trigger. Look, I don't think the baby has anything to do with it.
I think they just throw it.
I think someone raised the question and was like, hey, man,
that kid can be like a shade of brown or we just want to know.
Yeah.
That's right.
Someone probably threw that out there and she got all pissed off.
Yeah, like do we want the baby crib to have like, you know,
do we want it to have bass in the pocket you know like do we want
speakers in the corner of it is it weird if i get a pair of jordans for his first birthday or
trying to figure shit out here man i think you gotta plan ahead dude you know i think yeah do
we want that candy paint on the side of the crib like what kind of thing are we planning ahead for
i think they could have made an awesome thing over there by making this exciting for
England and done a like Fresh Prince of
Bel-Air type of thing. You know, wouldn't that have been
awesome? You know? With
everybody. But now it's like Jeffrey the butler
is like the fuck and it's his house that they're living
at because he's originally from the UK.
Joffrey or Geoffrey. Then they're fighting
with swords. It's on our IG story
every morning. Harry just killing
dudes. but he really
fucked up girl now you're montecito you got your next door neighbor's ellen it's probably the
biggest asshole you've ever met like that's what you get well now you're just living in a life
that's really i don't know probably pretty dope 22 million dollar crib montecito dope yeah but
you're also very lonely and now you don't get to see all these cool battles.
You don't get to eat chicken all the time with your hands.
Yeah.
Turkey leg.
Yeah, turkey leg.
Yeah, you don't get to whisper to somebody in the hallway.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're coming tonight.
Yeah.
And the guys are like, who?
Yeah.
The British are coming.
Bitch, we are the British.
Yeah, we are the British.
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Yeah, I think mine's snorting NyQuil at night.
Oh.
I know.
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I'm not going to lie to you.
Sometimes I hit them.
I'll choke them out, dude.
Damn.
Yeah, because you won't wake up.
I'm sick of them not performing.
Damn, bro.
Yeah, dude. Crazy, huh? Hashtag UFC 25 259 i slap them around dog you're going on you're putting the hands on that fucking swollen camp
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Don't beat me, daddy.
We got another follow-up from our master of the custodial arts in Kansas.
I would like to see, you know, Meghan Markle's go full black.
Go fucking full black, boo-boo.
Okay?
Move to fucking Youngstown.
Okay?
Buy a house in Detroit.
Move to Kingston, Jamaica.
You know what I'm saying? Do a mixtape with Sean, the guy that killed somebody with a C-Dew. My house in Detroit. Move to Kingston, Jamaica. You know what I'm saying?
Do a mixtape with Sean, the guy that killed somebody with a C-do.
Sean Kingston, yeah.
Yeah, do a fucking mixtape.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if you flirting with black culture, then fucking flirt with it, baby girl.
Yeah, one foot in, girl.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, we're struggling.
You know, they're saying the baby's black, the baby, you know.
They're saying the baby has a little tanucci fucking tattoo on his back
bitch go do some black shit with the baby okay go to youngstown ohio go to fucking detroit go to
fucking hampton roads boo-boo go to norfolk all right instead you living out in this fucking safe
ass montecito the safest yeah well i bet maybe arthur ash's kids are your only fucking neighbors
that have any color.
So let's be honest.
If you're going to play color, play color, boo-boo.
All right?
But don't fucking play white and just don't hide and go seek in the white shit
and just flirt out with the black shit when you need money.
Gang, bro.
You also knew what you signed up for.
You knew what you signed up for going to that castle.
Yeah.
It's a castle, bitch. I know queen elizabeth is 5 000 years old
i know but then i wonder here's what i wonder does harry have any cloud in this whole deal or
is he just gonna be in drug a lot he's a little side piece she's like this what we're gonna do
we'll do oprah we get seven mil son we're gonna buy a 22 million dollar house a month and then
fuck that castle oh yeah i want you to throw all your
family under the bus. And he's all, okay.
And it's one of those double buses too because it's
for tours. Yeah, it's red.
Yeah.
No, he doesn't.
Damn,
boy, he's in, bro.
He's in on this shit. She might be a
bad bitch in the sack. But how bad can you be? We can't get all ratchet up in in on this shit. She might be a bad bitch in the sack.
So he's like, fuck it. But how bad can you be?
We can't get all ratchet up in the castle, man.
She might be yelling.
Might be wild, dog.
Yeah.
Go down that dungeon and shit.
Yeah.
You know they got a dungeon.
Oh, yeah.
Come on, dog.
They have those axes with double axes on them.
Yeah.
Bring them a picture of that.
Double axe.
And you can dress like those guys that used to decapitate people with the black mask and fucking get a ball in your mouth dude ball in your mouth that's what they did
and that's the thing i kicked out of the castle you want some other shit fucking dude you better
look at that you get to have that yeah you can play with all that shit and it just shows up you
not paying for it they got more money you know they think queen elizabeth is the richest person on earth yeah they say she runs you talk
sam tripoli you think she runs the entire world you play with axes and shit who's complaining now
granted i'll probably move out too that's from grayskull yeah they beat grays gray skull didn't they british dude they probably got a baby dragon
on that bitch too yeah dragons oh dude dragons and hoes harry oh dude that's what i'm saying
bro bro imagine trying to fuck by a sleeping dragon playing don't wake the dragon with your
wife oh that'd be hot and now you're up here in montecito eating fucking fancy lobster rolls and checking
your instagram every two minutes to make sure your life's okay y'all fucking sold out making
sure the music isn't too loud because ellen's gonna yell at you through the window but that's
your life bubba that's what you signed up for i just would have liked to seen them stay in the
pocket and change the game yeah fight it out dude out, dude. Yeah. And make cool moves. Yeah, we're excited.
Get around London on a fucking horse,
bitch. Yeah. We got the little
dark British right here, bro. We got that first
fucking dark British.
Be in the pocket and change it up.
Inspire people. Instead, now you're out
here fucking playing games and selling your bullshit.
Yep. You could have Rick
Ross at the castle doing a concert.
Yeah. The British are yeah the british are coming
the british are coming oh oh oh i can't breathe they got wing stop fucking sponsoring the thing
the lemon pepper yeah then the dragons feeding on them too you know lit that instagram would be
a little small arm big tail dragon like fucking taking down a fucking teriyaki.
That dry rub, baby, come on.
God damn, you guys fucked up.
You fucked up.
Enjoy Montecito.
Yeah, enjoy paying the money for the neighborhood.
Hashtag UFC 259.
Let's see what this guy has to say.
There we go.
This dude, let's go.
This was the janitor who was looking for a dime piece, right?
Yeah, he was actually embarrassed to say he was a janitor.
We told him, get a six-pack.
We'll make you a model.
And he's following up.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Oh, shit.
What up?
What up?
Zach, the custodian, back with another question.
First of all, thank you guys for putting me on the show and all the kind words last time.
Working on that six-pack roar as we speak.
Theo, meet me at 150, son.
Ooh.
I finally got one.
My question today has to do with competitiveness and athleticism.
When I was in high school, I was super athletic,
but after freshman year, I gave up all sports
and started getting into the bad stuff and just throwing my potential away.
Chin.
So my debate club is I kind of want to get into either jiu-jitsu or boxing,
but I can't really decide which one I would want to compete in.
I don't really want to get brain damage,
and I really don't want to get my arm torn out of my socket.
So is there any other avenues, or what should I do?
Give me y'all's opinion and just let me know.
I appreciate it, guys.
Y'all see me in a couple months.
Chiseled the fuck up.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Then we're flying to Nashville, oiling that boy up.
You're going to get on that camera, dude.
I ain't putting oil on that boy.
Someone's gonna have chin.
Someone's gonna have to do it. I'll put some dry rub on him.
Ooh.
Wouldn't that be the new thing? Instead of oil, you put dry rub on him?
Nice lemon pepper dry rub on his fine ass.
People are like, this guy's ready to go.
So he
wants to know, to get in shape, boxing
or jiu-jitsu? Stay competitive, get in shape.
What's better?
Listen, you know this about jiu-jitsu.
It takes, oh, I mean, you kind of know this,
but it takes a while to get good at jiu-jitsu.
Trying to burn calories, boxing, son.
In CT, you're not going to be a wild card taking punches in the face,
hitting mitts, dude.
You're getting fucking phenomenal shape just hitting mitts,
fucking pads, the heavy bag.
That's the move.
If you're trying to get Shred and fly to nassau with your shirt off and your undies and get oiled up for a photo
shoot with theo von boxing's the joint man well look what i'm trying to say is this brother um
i think first of all you're you're lean man you seem lean i feel like you could miss lunch and
have a fucking six pack though you know what i'm saying just like you know what i'm saying i don't think you need to do much
skip breakfast dude you know that's all you got to do baby boy but here's the thing i think for
jujitsu's you got to uh yeah you get worked bro i went to a class the other night the one of the
nighttime classes i usually go to the lunchtime like the daytime classes daytime for the pussy
well it's for people that are doing their best.
Yeah.
So people like lunch break, get a quick sweat on.
A lot of blue belts in there.
Nighttime's with the savages.
Dude, there's a guy in a wheelchair at the fucking lunchtime.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Do you fucking heel hook him or what?
I try, bro.
Do you knee bar him?
I almost ripped my fucking toe off trying to heel hook him
because the break wasn't set. Oh, okay okay but i will say this dude yeah it's crazy when you
fucking bring him down in that chair which is fucking hardcore you're my world now bitch and
drag him down yeah he says he weighs 145 but the chair weighs fucking 40 yep and he they're not
factoring that in but there's also not sometimes there's not even anybody there to teach us but
um i will say this that i think with the jujitsu yeah it's more of a longer road i don't know if
you're gonna you're gonna get in shape maybe watch some of those tony jeffries boxing videos get some
mitts you could even go to the gym put some of those videos on your phone right there and uh
and then just hit the bag based on what he's telling you i feel like he gives a lot of good
he's great solo suggestions just for like what you can do by yourself just buy a pair of gloves man but if you want to sense a camaraderie
man uh choke some bitches out yeah or get choked out i had to fight a child the other day he fucked
you up he got your back it was a woman i don't know her name and i'm glad i don't know it because
i wouldn't i'm an adult and it's a child but but, and it was weird. Cause the position was like, you had to like, uh, you had to like, was he guard?
You had to get in their guard.
I mean, I was on guard just to make sure there was no police in the area, bro.
Open Chris Hansen and pop out.
It was definitely like, yeah.
Have you ever had like a fine?
It was like, Hey, guard the windows, bro.
Because this shit looks real questionable.
Guard the front door.
Like that's how I was looking up people were looking around hey have you ever been doing
jujitsu class and you know they go switch and the next partner and you're starting guarding some
fine girl no i used to hate that hate that really so awkward oh wait i did uh some girl hammer
tossed me the other day, dude.
But yeah, I think for jiu-jitsu, it's more of a slow learn for sure.
Slow burn, man.
Yeah.
Takes the longest to get your black belt.
Oh, I can't even imagine.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, I cannot even imagine.
And the boss, he walked by the other day, everybody, with the tape he was putting.
Stripes on your belt?
Yeah. Did you get a stripe?
Nah, dude. He pretended he was was and he's like psych maybe next time man everybody died
laughing bro and my fucking like parts of me just fell out of my soul yeah it hurt your heart but it
was good good humility too but somebody got it they got a 60 year old man that got it and somebody
else some kid with an underbite sweet Sweet. We got our last debate club.
This is actually a submission video.
This guy.
Look, I just want to say, based on the look, dude, you got to submit now, bro, because this isn't going to end well.
Is this an illegal alien?
I mean.
Is this at the border or what?
What is this?
Let's see what he has to say.
This is Biden's new fucking border plane.
What's up, Dio?
What's up, Brandon?
I'm hiding under my house from immigration right now.
Nah, I'm just fucking with y'all.
What's going on, man?
Your boy T.O. from the hey of Texas.
I got a debate club for y'all, man.
As you know, Texas got hit with that fucking winter hitter.
And it fucked all this
PVC piping up.
So my debate club is
fix it yourself
or hire a professional.
Now, as you can tell,
I ain't no fucking professional.
But shit,
she ain't leaking no more.
I want to give a shout out
to my boys Ross and Riley.
And, uh,
but yeah, um, uh, that water's coming through, boys.
Amen, that's a flush.
Yeah, gang, gang,
fuck PBC.
That's that turd passing by.
Yeah, bro.
They,
what about this?
Do they have,
do they have,
do they have,
is PBC more tougher and better than metal pipes?
Metal pipes?
No, it's plastic.
I had a summer of irrigation and they would, they would use it for, it can handle a lot
more water, but it freezes like in the cold, like they're going to burst and crack down
the metal.
That's the problem.
But definitely do it yourself.
Cause in, in Texas,
a lot of these people are going to be waiting years
before someone fucking comes out there and fix your plumbing.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Get them turd tubes rolling, dude.
You don't want to wait around for some pro to come in.
Mm-mm.
Yeah, drink a couple Monster Energy drinks and get under there, dude.
That's what I think you got to do.
You should ask Hans to do it.
Yeah.
Ask your boy Hans, dude, or Hans.
I don't know how to pronounce his name.
It's Hans.
It's Hans?
It's Hans.
But, yeah, look, man, I think get under there.
Do it yourself if you can.
Do it yourself piping.
Do it yourself everything.
Pizza.
You ever do do-it-yourself pizza?
Yeah, I have.
Oh, CYO.
It's not DIY.
You ever done Papa Murphy's?
The biggest fucking hustle in the game?
Irish pizza?
Nah, it's Papa Murphy's. So there's Papa John's. Remember the racist... Irish pizza? Nah, it's Papa...
So there's Papa John's.
Remember the racist guy?
Oh, yeah, dude.
He got fired.
I saw a thing today.
He said, yeah, I'm working on taking the N-word out of my vocabulary.
He's been working hard for eight months to do it.
Really?
Yeah, I'm working hard.
Eight months taking the N-word out of my vocabulary.
How often were you saying it, dude?
At least he's honest.
That's where I'm from, yeah.
It's hard to completely get rid of it.
Shitty pizza. I'm never a fan of Papa John's. Oh, dude. I'd rather say the N of it. Shitty pizza.
I'm never a fan of Papa John's.
Oh, dude, I'd rather say the N-word than order his pizza.
That's for damn sure.
I'll tell you that.
Now, Papa Murphy's, similar to Papa John's, but you got to go there.
It's frozen pizza.
So you just go to the store, they give you frozen pizza, and you take it home and cook it yourself.
Oh, that sounds, what is that?
How are these?
What is it, Grapes of Wrath that how are these what is it grapes or wrath where
you ordering fucking pizza how are they open how they stay open let's get a totino's motherfucker
look up butch's pizza man i'm gonna put this pizza on the map right here this is a midwestern pizza
you get it at the uh general um gas station uh butch's Premium Pizza.
Dig the pig. It's better than cat.
Where are they based out of?
40 years of experience, man.
About. Go to about.
We don't want to contact them.
Let's see a picture of it.
Illinois?
Yeah, Peoria, Illinois.
This pizza is broke.
Is it fire? Can we order some too, Illinois. This pizza is, bro. Is it fire? Yeah. Can we order
some too, Nick? Get a couple sent in.
Butch's Pizza, bro.
I'm telling you right now,
for all you butches out there, dog,
you know what I'm saying? And I'm not talking about just
hard, you know, women that wants
penises. I'm talking about
lesbians, men, women,
straight women,
men. This pizza for all kinds pizza for everybody not
just butch rainbow bright dude fucking high and tight i don't care if you're in the military
i don't care if you're in the fucking spillitary bro and you just a little cry baby
butch's pizza is where it's at get on there order the butch's man it's so good you can get it at
casey's general store which is a semi-regional general store in a lot
of rural parts of the Midwest, man.
Is it New York style?
Is it thick?
No, bro.
Can you get us an image of it, Nick?
Yeah.
Let me see what this pie looks like.
You ever had bodega out here in LA?
Uh-uh.
You got to start living, bro.
Bodega?
Bodega pizza.
Best pizza you ever tried.
I'm telling you.
Well, order one.
Order one. We'll see what's up. Let's. Well, order one. Let's have a pizza contest.
We're going to blindfold each other.
Just zoom in on one of these pies, man.
Let's fucking clear.
There you go.
Bang.
Butch is original, bro.
That shit looks like Papa Murphy's.
Bro, this shit is good.
That shit looks weak.
Now bring up bodega pizza, Nick.
Two slices of that and I'll fucking fight any child in America, boy, right there.
I promise you.
Actually, I'll put this challenge out there right now.
12 and under, any kid in America, I'll fucking fight you.
Come and get it.
This that bodega pizza?
Come on, son.
What is that?
Best pizza you ever have.
That's a lot of hype, though.
Look, there's like a...
No, that's some legit...
I don't know what the fuck that lettuce is doing all over it, but the pizza's fantastic.
No, this pizza makes it look so...
They got a honey sausage, dog.
What is that?
That'll turn you straight, Papa.
Who wants to fucking see a pig drinking honey all night and then dying?
I do.
That's disgusting.
That sounds fantastic.
I like that pig old-fashioned.
A little bit of dirt in the meat, dude.
This looks like that pizza that makes you come over and take pictures with it on a bicycle, dude.
There's a lot of hype around this.
That's that Hans pizza?
Yeah.
Chin, how crazy did you get with the sex the other night?
Did y'all do a group massage chain?
Be honest.
Like human centipede, but you're massaging each other's feet?
No, but we did something similar.
We just walked around and just hugged each other constantly.
Man, you guys are weird.
You guys just give them hugs?
Yeah, that's the power of love.
While some guy's getting concussed.
Hashtag UFC 259.
Don't put the two together.
It wasn't a smart idea to watch fights and then do that.
So you watched fights and did that?
In the background of the fights.
And there's also music in the background, too.
And you guys probably weren't hungry, right?
You don't get hungry on next year
Wow did you eat before or not
Way earlier
Then I made the stomach nice and empty
Before we got into stuff
And did y'all get into sex at night
Or were you guys keeping chill
Come on you guys were all cleaned out
Cause I thought you were referencing some butt stuff
Cause he said they didn't eat
He was like it was nice we were all clean
Look man sometimes you gotta go for the butt First 48 I thought you were referencing some butt stuff there. He said they didn't eat. He was like, it was nice. We're all clean.
Look, man.
Sometimes you got to go for the butt, man.
First 48.
You know, it's only open.
It's hit or miss on the window.
You know, it gets messy.
Yeah.
That booty window, dog.
And here's Marty from drastic.
Has obviously. That looks identical to Marty. If he started bulking this summer. has obviously...
That looks identical to Marty if he started bulking this summer.
Yeah, Marty's obviously looking...
That's Marty if he ate six bodega pizzas.
He's looking to meet somebody at 250, man.
I'm going to pull up a side-by-side of Marty
after we play this video.
Brendan, Theo,
it's the young Will Sasso coming at you again.
Oh, yeah.
At least that was Brendan's nickname for me over last summer.
I originally submitted a King Itter Sting it for adults obsessed with their own birthdays,
but I'm here on the north shore of Hawaii with my sister and brother-in-law. And I'm here for an exciting episode of Clown My Hound.
Their laziest shit bulldog tank.
He's fat.
He's old.
He has not moved from this bed in the last four or five days that I've been here.
He snores louder than me.
Yep.
And,
um,
yeah,
both kind of kindred spirits,
pieces of shit.
That ain't a dog.
That's a fucking roly poly son.
Little old potato tank here.
Gang bang.
Not in my butt.
Not in my butt.
God damn,
dude.
I'm out.
Not it.
Not in,
but also North show. You gotta be careful on the North shore man you got them the waves that's where the locals are at they're gonna beat a
big sasso up there oh yeah white boys aren't allowed on them waves i learned that day one
oh you get jojo out there they got some real surfers iron walsh is out there they got some
real heaters out there yep some real water monsters yeah mike's hallways girls on them fucking waves max chilling in the sand they don't like white people out there dude
well that's what i'm just north shore well should we move on to some relationship advice
that was a fun fat dog we have more clown my hounds but we're kind of that dog is fat a lot
i will say there's a lot of dogs here's what happens with trouble with dogs that are obese
or struggle with
obese struggle with their weight or they were made fun of it in school or
whatever.
They,
if you live in a building that has stairs and everything,
you have to carry the dog outside to pee and do poop.
It's a lot.
It's like having Lizzo as a girlfriend.
It's exhausting.
Yeah.
It's like having that kind of baby Lizzo.
Yeah.
Yellow Lizzo for a hound there man yeah it
could be i mean rolls yeah maybe i don't know but it has an only fan account i could now i would
love to see a bulldog with only fan account that'd be sexy put a thong on it oh daddy little honey
yeah just have it slowly drinking some milk oh i'm in slow motion milk drink yeah
let me slow motion a little fucking dry rub chicken wing yeah i really like that so i think
lizzo also would be uh could you imagine how much lizzo would make with her only fans accounts
if she needed money that'd be a good way to go. These days, it's a popular...
There's men on there doing construction.
There's all kind of stuff on there now.
Yeah, it's not just for porn anymore.
It's everything.
Kat done doing dark arts like that on there.
Really?
No.
They got roller skating on there, somebody said.
I'm not paying for that.
But yeah, I would pay to watch Lizzo do OnlyFans or that dog.
Me too.
Before we get to relationship advice, we've got a special guest
who we want to bring in who wants to debut a song.
Ooh, I love that.
Yeah, so we've got our special guest in studio, Lil Browz.
Oh, Jan.
Really?
He has some new heat.
Oh.
That heat, baby.
Drake dropped some new jams, and now I'm waiting for that Lil Browz.
I've been waiting all fucking week, dog.
You got to move little, little browse.
Where's little, little browse?
Oh, I crushed him.
All right.
Oh, dang, you got browsed up, huh?
What's going on, dog?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
How are y'all?
Good to see y'all.
Yeah, man.
What's cracking, dude?
What up, Chen?
What up, Nick?
What up?
Feeling good, man.
Thanks for having me on.
Hey, Nick, is my chew out there?
Are you doing what, chew? Yeah, dog. I've having me on. Hey, Nick, is my chew out there? Are you doing what, chew?
Yeah, I've been chewing all my life, dog, since I was four.
Yeah, but I don't like it.
You don't?
You ever tried it, though?
Yeah.
Okay.
I tried the cherry skull once.
That gives me heartburn.
Bro, it's disgusting.
It's gross.
It's disgusting.
I don't know how you do it.
Yeah.
Fucking living.
All good.
Great shirt, Nick.
Little Brow's in the house.
Brow's in the building.
You know, Little Brow's did his first live performance with me in San Marcos.
Really?
The crowd went crazy.
I watched one on stage.
It was you and another guy.
I bet y'all was wearing white.
Was that it?
Yeah.
That was Malik.
Yeah.
Oh, that was Malik?
I brought him out.
Roly Boy.
Roly Boy.
Oh, I didn't even realize that was him.
I didn't know they were going to do it.
And they're like, we got this new jam for you.
Did y'all do it in the same venue as the comedy?
Yeah.
Oh, that's awesome.
I got off stage.
I went, hey, stay seated.
I got a little surprise for you.
And then Browse came out.
Boom, boom, boom.
Dude, that's awesome.
Girls are like, oh.
Guys are like, yeah.
Sick, man. Sounded like Jen oh. Guys are like, yeah. Sick, man.
Sounds like Jen's party.
Yeah, but less butt stuff.
Hashtag UFC 69, dude.
What the heck, guys?
Dude, that's crazy, man.
And so you got a new song you've been working on.
Is this on your current album?
Yeah, so I'm going to drop an EP coming up, like six like six songs just all bangers so this will be the first song off that
dang called run it up i can't wait we get the first little taste in here yeah i send it to
how many do we get to hear it today i'm gonna play the sample of this then i'm just gonna wrap
a little bit of the next one oh shit so if we could just crank it up. Don't be shy with that volume. I'm sorry. I'm about to be late pulled up to the city with nothing to say I just went ghost when I hit it my a and then I tipped a man when I drive through the gate
24 hours and I ain't slept yet money on my mind and i'll take that bet
I look like shape and about going back women that I love. I ain't met one yet women that I trust
I ain't met one yet got a cross on my neck cause the boy's so good
I'm new in the game, but the boy's so fat and the gum is so wild, but the boy's so tapped
And the boy's so wild, but the pants don't stretch the boy's so tapped and the boy's so wild but the band's so stretched
i had two foul make a gold man flesh
i'm just i'm just i'm just popping i fell asleep in the gucci pajamas
oh this is a fire dog
you've been cooking up some shit
i cut the game in my pocket let me give you a sample of fire boy too You been cooking up some shit!
Let me give you all a sample of Fireboy too. In my head they runnin' a million miles a minute If I say that I'ma do it, then I really manifested If they say that they gon' do it, then they probably never did it Workin' every day and I've been stayin' independent
And I'm tryin' to mind my business, but the flow is unattended
And the pen is gettin' sick from all the venom I've been dippin'
And this shit is hittin' different and it happen in an instant
I just blew up off a podcast
First one to do it, that's all facts
Still got a lot more to say
They ain't heard my real shit yet, fireboy on the way, browser
I'm on fire, dog
I'm tired That Google Damn, I'm tired.
That Google Chrome, baby.
Damn.
Hans, meet him at 210, dog.
1000, dog.
Google dome, bro.
That shit hit you in the fucking brain space, daddy.
That was fire, man.
Wow.
You spent the studio grinding, huh?
Yeah, I've been working.
I've been working.
I fell asleep in them Gucci pajamas, bro.
That's crack, dog.
So that was on your first, that's on the album that's out now?
No, it's going to come out.
That single's going to come out Friday.
Dope, doggie.
That's the first one, yeah.
You got to get it.
It's awesome, man.
I'm not going to give you any unsolicited advice.
What the fuck do I know, dude?
I work with this guy, but.
You're saying like for the video or something?
Bro, yeah, I just see some sexy chicks fucking in pajamas
Take those glasses off we give those recommendations man creep me out
You look like the manager for NSYNC right now chill out dude in some
Tracks are fucking fire browse
I was out as fireman browse. How hard is it to do this?
And then you did a live performance thing go back that nine-to-five job. Oh, yeah, that was tough
I was still pumped up. I was at my desk
We were all in the hot tub to remember that
Well, I thought it was gonna be like a tour with like 59 what i thought it was going to be a tour there's girls everywhere no no there's six dudes in one hotel and then you brought more dudes
well i'll tell you more he came through the crib with more dudes oh yeah oh yeah dude bringing
fucking meat to a meat fire look i'll tell you this man uh one of the gayest or semi-gayest no
homo things i've ever seen was at a Hampton Inn.
I went downstairs to the hot tub, to the pool hot tub.
Community hot tub.
It said spa area on the door, dude, which was a hell of a reach because they had a coffee maker within nine feet of the fucking hot tub.
But anyway, they had three men that preferred men in the hot tub throwing a frisbee
to each other, dude.
They were so close together. There was no room
for the frisbee to even go.
One of them had long arms, so he just had to
hand it to the other guy.
I was like, oh my god,
dude. If I get in there, bro, I'm
getting rapid. You know what I'm saying?
Did you get in there? R-A-P-E-D.
You know what I'm saying? Did you get in that hot water, daddy?
No, I didn't get in there.
I doubt that.
That fucking booty soup.
I ain't making that.
But anyway, man, yeah, the music was fucking unbelievable.
Honestly, bro, I didn't even know it was going to be that good,
and it was that good, man.
Yeah, bro, it was so dope.
Damn.
Thank you guys, man.
Thanks for the opportunity.
It's been dope.
So when people hear it now
When they hear it on this
On this show
Then what can they do?
They can go get it?
Yeah so this comes out Thursday
Thursday night
Next day Friday
It'll be out
So they can just go
YouTube
Spotify
iTunes
Everything
Oh
What are you thinking for the video?
Do you have thoughts yet?
Do you want us in it?
No
You want Theo in a thong?
Let me look at him Yep His, his schedule's wide open.
I have been leaning out, but no.
I'm not ready for that. Are people
in Cleveland hollering at you now?
Mike Jones style?
Yeah, somewhat. I mean, a lot of people have been hitting me up.
I actually just talked to Hannah Barron for the first time
in the DMs the other day. She said she wants to do a music
video, so I let Chen know.
Theo's like, get out. It's business. It's just business. She said she wants to do a music video. Hell yeah. So I let Chen know. See, I was like, get out.
It's business.
It's just business.
Y'all trying to holler at my wife, huh?
Oh, y'all.
I see y'all.
Man, you get a fight, dog,
because that's my girl.
Oh, now he wants to fight, huh?
I'm not fighting you.
I'll run through you and Hans for her, dog.
Okay, now we're talking.
I would drive all the way to Alabama, all right?
Look, I'll give a catfish two cans of fucking Monster Energy.
I'm going to see who catches that bitch.
Now, that would be a great thing.
Give some Monster to a catfish, see who can get it.
Even a little cocaine on that, just sprinkle in the water for them bitches.
It could kill a fish, though, I think.
I don't think so.
I think they get lit.
You think?
Ask Hannah.
She knows.
I don't know if fish can do drugs, man.
Only one way to find out daddy yeah respect speaking of hot tubs actually uh we'll close out with one more king
and her sting it dude yeah that hook is so strong brad you have you had like music people hitting
you up to like work with them or like labels and shit oh you did because I know Bare Knuckle hit you up, right?
And you did a walkout for Bare Knuckle.
Yeah, I've had a few people hit me up.
I'm just trying to figure out.
I just want to do things on my own
and figure out the right people to work with.
Have you talked to Mike Studd at all?
Because he's independent.
Yeah, a little bit.
And everyone blows him up.
Yeah, he's dope.
He seems like he's killing it.
Yeah, I think trying to,
I don't know anything about music.
I don't know anything really about anything,
but I see some tits on the screen.
Trying to find your lane.
Yeah, but I think just trusting your own instincts, you know?
Dude, that's the fuck.
Yeah, I keep feeling like that.
I mean, that song's good, man.
Dude, the fucking Hannah Barron song, the cat song, the sick boy song.
It's in strip clubs now. I saw a lot of
rappers blow up strip clubs.
Somebody played Hannah Baron at a wedding I saw.
Somebody sent me a video. Really?
I thought that was a little bit weird
for the groom to fucking request that.
Big fans.
I'm going to Cleveland this weekend.
That strip club's there.
I'm jonesing just to listen to the song.
Don't use his music to ruin your marriage.
You know what I'm saying?
You a hater, dog.
You a hater, dog.
You a hater, man.
Let's don't pin the tune tail on this donkey, bro.
I'm trying to hear my theme song in the club, dog.
Yeah, I bet.
Might have a little extra cash on me.
You feel me?
Yeah. Yeah, I bet. Might have a little extra cash on me. You feel me?
You want to close out with this hot tub related King or Sting?
Dime.
It's Latina dime. Was she in Palm Springs at Chin's party last weekend?
Centavos.
Hey, guys.
We're in Pasadena, California right now.
Close.
And we've got a King or Sting it for you.
Above ground hot tub
oh got Malik in the hot tub they are sexy and they're really low maintenance oh damn that's a real melting pot in that bitch. Dude, that's the fucking... This is at a...
Some shit about to go down.
Bro, this is at the...
The Hampton Inn? No.
This is in...
This is in Britain. This is...
This could have been...
What's her name? Markle in the
hot tub at the palace.
You fucked it up. Dude, the red coats
are coming, bro. And they're a little bit brown.
That's what I'm saying.
This is the future,
Britain.
If you get your shit together,
this could be you guys.
What I love is the right by a highway,
which is,
that's why I thought it was a Hampton Inn.
It is,
bro.
That's what I'm saying.
Here's the craziest part.
And he's amped up.
He's raring to go.
You can see who brought the fucking.
Somebody milked that, bro.
You can see who brought the fucking bro cane, bro.
Does he have the Lil Uzi Vert diamond in his forehead?
Ooh.
Oh, no, that's just a glare.
I feel you.
But here's the crazy part.
Boy, shredded.
Keep going a little bit, Nick.
Slowly, you can see.
No, go back some.
I'm sorry.
To the street?
No, you can see.
Look at the traffic.
But at one point, you can see. No, go back some. I'm sorry. To the street? No, you can see at one point. Look at the traffic. But at one point, you can see a
little bit of a stop sign. Keep going
back. And that,
keep going back. And that is when
it gets kind of alarming, I think.
Oh, maybe you gotta go forward. My bad, man. Sorry.
That skinny white girl about to do some
work tonight. You feel me? Hey,
it's time, baby. Reparations, boo-boo.
Look, go back. A little. No, right there., it's time, baby. Reparations, boo-boo. Look, go back.
A little. No, right there. Right.
Slow. Right there. Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Stop saying.
This shit is ratchet, dog.
And there's hella traffic
behind him. I think there's only
one song to accompany that, man.
I think it's that hit that Browse just dropped.
Yeah, dog. Let's roll with it, man. Let's sign out on that, daddy. I think it's that hit that Browse just dropped. Yeah, dog.
Let's roll with it, man.
Let's sign out on that, daddy.
Yeah, let's roll with it, bro.
It'll fucking play.
And play this on repeat, but no volume.
Because, uh.
We signing off with little Browse new jam?
I'm in Cleveland this weekend, then Spokane, then Miami.
Yeah, we got new Cats merch, too.
Come get some Miami.
We do got new Cats merch, son.
Check it out.
Good, bro.
I'm going to walk after this this weekend.
Gang, bro.
This is a music video.
It's all good, bro.
Yeah.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this weekend.
I'm gonna walk after this weekend. I'm gonna I
Get a big fat girl just running in slow motion the whole video. Oh, she's on fire. Slow motion.
Damn.
That'd be hard.
Damn, dog.
I ripped my pants.
I breastfeed to this shit, bro.
Bro, if you breastfeed to this shit, you going next level.
Ugh.
I ripped my pants.
You gross, bro.
You nasty.
Damn.
So what if you rip your pants? Come rip this fucking. Yeah, be too something to do something, man. Rip this action. You're gross, bro. You're nasty. So what if you rip your pants?
Come rip this fucking...
You got to be too something to do something, man.
Rip this action.
My skinny jeans, bro.
Come fight.
My favorite jeans.
Look at this shit, doggy.
Jesus, get away from me.
Why are you showing everybody?
Yeah, why are you showing everybody?
We know what it is.
Well, I wanted them in the camera to see.
What?
You've changed... Is this OnlyFans?
Make sure you edit out that big picture.
Oh, trust me, it'll be easy.
That'll be a light blur.
That'll be a simple one.
Shouldn't take them too much time.
Yeah, man.
Damn. out. I just went ghost when I hit in my A And then I tipped a man when I dropped through the gate 24 hours and I ain't slept yet
Money on my mind and I'll take that back Hourglass shape and I'm back on band
Women that I love, I ain't met one yet Women that I trust, I ain't met one yet
Got a cross on my neck cause the boy so blessed Brand new in the game but the boy so fat
In the comments so wild but the boy so daft And the boy so wild but your pants on stretch
Attitude foul, make a grown man flinch Watch my white in the blacked out tent
Fuck it, I'm running up all of her shit
Like, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just poppin'
I fell asleep in the Gucci pajamas
My bitch look like drama
She just with you cause she ran out of options
Put my phone on silent
Double the money and double the problems
I got the game in my pocket
Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be you next time. you