The Golden Hour - Episode 125: Steebee Uncensored
Episode Date: June 11, 2021SteeBee WeeBee is back in the Culture Corner and the guys find revealing footage of Steebee and get updates on his female suitors, also, an all new segment with Facebook fans roas...ting the guys, all new Flaunt My Aunt's, Theo's Brett Favre story, George "The Animal" Harris calls out Steebee for a fight, They's orgasmic meditation story and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I did it once. It's warm water. Usually your pants are off. I jacked off into one.
It's a quotation tag? You jerked off into one?
Dang, dang.
Boom, boom!
Back off my broccolini.
Get your life together.
It is. Don't touch me, bro.
I'm not touching you, dude.
We caught you and Theo on cam talking before the show.
And then you admit you've been dating someone?
Yeah, just friends.
Unreal.
You son of a bitch.
I'm blowing his fucking mind right now.
I'm blowing his fucking mind.
Oh, my God.
See how things work out?
See how I low-balled y'all?
You think I was some peasant off the street who couldn't fucking get girls?
You told me!
Fuck you, man!
You!
Fuck you!
I got so much pussy in the weekend, I could have a little baby on the way.
I could have a little baby on the way.
What the fuck you guys?
Okay?
You're a twill!
Fuck you guys.
I got girls. I got a girl.
I got a fucking girl.
Stevie!
Where's that energy?
We need to...
Delete?
The energy.
He honeydicked us.
No, before the show, he accosted me about this information.
That's new to me.
I was in the bathroom.
I got here late.
I see that.
I'm disappointed.
I didn't know you guys
Were filming that
We're always filming
It's okay
I'm glad we caught that
But I was just trying to
Help you find a girl
I wasn't trying to like
Think about the girls
Last week who
Submitted videos
And now they're seeing this
Like oh he's
He's a fucking pussy hound
He's a son of a gun
You have a hickey
On your neck dude
You guys are
Fucking slicksters.
We're good, aren't we?
Fuck.
Yeah.
How am I going to come back from that?
You tell us.
How the fuck am I going to come back from that, dude?
My friend Thiel, we put our necks out.
Because I look like fucking like I'm like Hugh Hefner right there.
Well, that's what you said.
I know, but I didn't think you guys were filming it.
We're always filming, Daddy.
Unreal.
How disappointed are you, Theo?
I didn't expect this.
This move, this curveball.
You know what?
Maybe I was pulling your leg.
That hickey begs the differ on your neck.
I was pulling your leg.
Show the camera that hickey.
Because I was so hurt because I was getting low-balled,
and it was like a Make-A-Wish foundation, and I just kind of concocted this story low ball uh i concocted
the story of i thought you were getting no ball dude i thought we were trying to i just blue ball
this is very deceptive what you guys that was crazy you guys did that no you did what do you
mean i did that i didn't think y'all were filming. It was just between me and Theo. I wasn't filming.
Nick was filming, first of all.
And I did think it was just between us.
Yeah.
I didn't. You didn't?
That's news to me.
Where were you?
I was, I was.
Wow.
Him, he was working at the valet stand.
Where do you think he was?
Yeah.
Dude, in that jacket.
Yeah.
Okay.
Unbelievable.
He was valeting his own cars.
Unbelievable.
That's how much money Brennan has.
He just valets his own cars.
Correct.
He literally pulls up at his house, puts on the jacket, gets out, and hands the keys to himself.
Yeah, dude.
That's the level I'm at.
You have a hickey on your neck, Bubba.
My thing is this, D.
Here's what I thought.
I didn't think we were.
I thought we were trying to help you find a decent gal.
Hey, this happened just recently, guys.
It's not like every week I have a date.
I did a little research.
I was hyping it up.
I'm normally a lonely guy.
Don't sound like your playboy.
Your handler out there, let him talk.
I just got lucky recently.
I met a real nice, cute
girl, and that's all.
I don't know. Let's go back to that footage.
It seemed a little like you were
shoving that in our face.
It's supposed to be shown.
I apologize for being that braggadocious about it. seemed a little like you were no but that wasn't supposed to be shown and i you know i apologize
for being that um brash yeah braggadocious about it and everything so god that hurts me man just
watching i'm so sorry see i'm blowing his fucking mind right now i'm blowing his fucking mind oh my
god see how things work see how i low-balled'all? You think I was some peasant off the street who couldn't fucking get girls?
You told them.
Fuck you, man.
Fuck you.
I got so much pussy in the weekend, I could have a little baby on the way.
Fuck you guys.
Okay?
I could have a little baby on the way.
Fuck you guys.
I got a little baby.
Hold up.
I got a fucking girl.
I really take care of that baby.
No,
I was,
I was out of pocket.
I was really hyping.
Wasn't even like that.
Who is going to take care of that baby?
Dude,
Joe Biden.
There is no baby.
Kamala Harris going to take care of that kid of yours.
That's going to be a government funded thing.
And I'm really usually not that confident just hear me out i didn't realize you guys were capturing that and i
apologize so you know reality kind of set in you know what the reality is what's on your neck baba
it's just you know this is a wrestling like me and jeremiah were wrestling
i'm not buying that wrestling with each other's
mouths because i talked to your handler out there and he said you flew a little philly dove down
that you met on instagram she's from washington stayed the night with a couple nights what did
you just say first of all greg is his handler's name craig it's craig yeah greg with my boy my
boy craig out there said you flew this little philly dove down from washington you met on
instagram i don't know what you're talking about, man. Really.
I don't know where you're getting your information.
I apologize for that behavior.
I apologize for that behavior right there.
Put Craig Gregg on the mic.
Get Craig out there.
Let's see if he's been driving around.
Oh, jeez, Craig. This is the moment of truth.
Greg, be real with us. Where's this hickey come from, my man?
I mean, Steve told me
he was from wrestling.
He's a good friend. He's a good friend.
I'm saying.
He's a good friend because he told me something else.
Me and Jeremiah, we tussled a little bit on our last episode off camera.
We got a little bit too physical.
And that's how I got this map burn.
And yeah, it's a map burn.
It is?
Let me see.
I know my way around a map.
That's a hickey, Bubba. No, this is a map burn. You got a see I know my way around a map That's a hickey Bubba
No this is a map burn
You had a little young
Philly dove sucking on your neck
Like a sucker fish
No that's not what it is
And I apologize
Let's take that first part out
And I apologize
I was being a little braggadocious
Yeah
But we
But I don't understand
What really happened
And I'm not trying to
Put you on the spot
I don't
I want you to know that
We legitimately
Were just trying to Get you a the spot. I want you to know that we legitimately were just trying to get you a date.
I appreciate it.
You know what Theo said this morning?
Man, I hope we find love for Stevie.
That's really sweet of you, and I really appreciate that.
Really, you said that?
Yeah.
He called me.
He goes, man, I'm stressed.
Why are you so stressed, dude?
Show, stand-up, TV.
He goes, nah, hopefully find love for Stevie.
And then I see that.
Oh, that's so nice of you.
That was uncalled for. I've had
those girls, Mandy,
Amanda, Margaret. They've just been
all week like, has he made a decision?
Now you guys are making it worse
on me. You're playing with love. You're playing with people's
heart. It really is not love because I know
there's entertainment value in all
this as well. Maybe I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe you're hyping it up.
Yeah, I don't know if it comes from a pure place.
Maybe they just want to get a little shine.
I mean, listen, we like entertainment, but we also want you to find love.
I appreciate it, guys.
As entertaining as this is, hopefully the girl from Montana.
What about the ladies?
What do we say to the ladies?
Are you interested in one of the dates, or do you think you're not going to do it right now?
Just give me some time to think about it,
because it's all hitting me all at once.
It's like a tidal wave, you know what I mean?
That's true, and we could have come on a little strong.
I apologize for my behavior.
No, don't apologize.
We could have come on a little strong, man.
Yeah, no, no, it's fine.
And you came from a good place as well.
Well, we don't want you to feel like you're a peasant either.
I can't get pussy, as you said.
Like that was uncalled for again.
Let's play it one more time, I just want to make sure we know what we're talking about.
Yeah, I just want to recap exactly.
And is that definitely Stevie?
Yeah.
That looks like him.
Tim, pointing to the hickey.
See, I'm blowing his fucking mind right now.
I'm blowing his fucking mind.
Oh my god.
Yeah, see how things work out?
See how I low-balled y'all?
You think I was some peasant off the street
who couldn't fucking get girls?
Fuck you, man.
Fuck you.
I got so much pussy in the weekend,
I could have a little baby on the way.
So fuck you guys, okay?
I love you, Stevie.
This is making me like you more.
Making me like you more. No, I love you, man This is like, we like you more. We like you more.
No, I love you, man.
Can I speak on my behalf?
This is like a BLM after party, dude.
This shit is crazy.
Can I speak on my behalf?
That was uncalled for.
That's really not me, guys.
Sure.
That's really not me.
We've all been there, Steve.
You know?
Yeah.
We've all been there
after a couple grams of blow, you know?
I'm proud of you, man.
I'm glad you got a girl
to suck on your neck.
No, it wasn't that
I kind of over exaggerated as well
Like me and Jeremiah got into a load tussle
And that's how I got the mark on my neck
Well Jeremiah sounds like a real dime
I'll say that
Jeremiah has a weird name in Washington
What if we do this guys
Have you seen our challenges
Whose
We have challenges on the Scissor Bros podcast.
Okay. What if we do
You mean bad good friends? No, no, no.
It's called the Scissor Bros now.
We rebranded it. I thought it was good friends.
Alphas versus betas on our
challenge. And what's the challenge? Me and Jeremiah.
I don't know. Bengay on the nuts.
We've done that before. They're always
naked. Yeah, we're naked a lot.
Are you guys in or what? I think it'll make for some good content. I don't want to get naked. Yeah, we're naked a lot. Are you guys in or what?
I think it'll make for some good content.
I don't want to get naked.
Yeah, my career is more where I'm staying clothed, I feel like, in my career.
But, Ben Gay, just on the nuts or your butt?
I'm fine.
I'm doing good.
I pass.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
But what I do—
I know you guys need views, but—
But, I mean, it'll just be a fun challenge.
What do you guys think?
I don't think—I would like to say no immediately actually it's
a hard pass for me too yeah it's a hard pass all right i just thought i'd bring it up no i think
it's nice you though and it's cool you guys do that yeah now here's a fellow right here who wants
to date you so so recently on our facebook group some brave souls have uh posted pictures of
themselves asking for people to roast them and i reached to them, and we got them to read their favorites.
Now, here's your chance, Stevie, also, too, to pass this energy on.
I don't want you to feel like we're upset at you.
Do you feel like we're upset at you?
No, I felt like I kind of let you guys down, though,
because that took a lot of effort and research on your guys' half
and on your guys' parts.
When Chin broke our hearts, at least he waited until he went on the date.
We got the footage.
I went all the way through.
But you didn't have a lot of my things going on, the poo breath and dry skin.
Yeah, those easily fixable things.
All you have to do is go to a CV.
Things that are easily curable by a trip to a CVS.
Okay?
I love that.
It's a fair point.
Is that true?
You guys agree with that?
I would say a CVS would work.
You agree with Theo?
Yeah, science has come a long way with bad breath.
I mean. But look, I know it's not easy to go.
I felt like I let you all down.
I'm sorry.
Nah, man.
I'm glad you're having some young Philly suck on your neck.
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I saw Brett Favre
at the seafood restaurant
in our hometown.
And it just comes up?
And you just now tell us?
Was he eating Crocs?
I didn't see his feet.
He had sensitive gums, though.
Oh, wow.
What a legend.
He's a Louisiana boy, right?
I saw Brett Favre.
He's from Kiln, Mississippi.
We used to go eat mushrooms
in Kiln.
We used to put on Brett Favre jerseys.
Me and my black friend would put on a...
Trip it out.
I want to say it was a Julius Peppers, but it might have been somebody else's jersey.
What'd your friend put on, a Reggie White?
No, I want to say it was Julius Peppers.
And we would get mushroomed out and chase each other.
Oh, hell yeah.
Try and sack your butt.
Yeah.
No, just like, it was nothing sexual.
We were just children, and he was straight, and I was straight.
That's fun times.
Wow.
What a good time.
But that was in Brett Favre's hometown, dude.
And then I saw him walking in the seafood restaurant.
I walk.
It was like, you walk up to walk.
It's like, it has one of those galley gangway seafood restaurant style, you know, like,
oh, walk the plank in, you know, type of thing.
And off to the left, there's a man sitting there there and it looked like brett farve from the side i only saw about 25 of his face and i'm walking in and the guy inside
like knew me and said hey and uh and i said is that brett farve sitting on the porch i used to
work there and i used to smoke weed there and work there.
And he said, yeah, that's him.
Is it a Joe's Crab Shack?
No.
It's called Morton's Steakhouse.
But no, seafood. Oh, it's a steakhouse.
It's not seafood.
It's not steaks.
It's like water steak seafood.
How many shrooms did you eat?
Probably 30 grams.
That's a lot.
That's a lot, isn't it?
You'd be in an insane asylum. Dude, look. That's a lot. That's a lot, isn't it? You'd be in an insane asylum.
Dude, look, I ate enough, bro.
That's a lot of mushrooms, man.
That explains a lot.
What the hell, dude?
I remember playing against a fucking nickel defense for about an hour and a half.
What's your problem, man?
So I ate a lot, bro.
That's a lot of mushrooms.
Oh, dude, we ate as many as the ground would make.
Oh, my.
Oh, so they're fresh off the ground.
Fresh off the ground.
You don't fuck around, dude.
Oh, you could smell the fucking, you could smell the steak on them.
Some of them were medium rare.
Bro, they were fresher
than that thing on your neck, boy.
Did you hallucinate, dude? Were you seeing stuff?
Oh, dude, yeah. I saw Reggie White.
You saw other dimensions?
He thought he was being chased by Reggie White.
He was so fucking hot. I saw aliens, man.
Dude, I was playing against Jake DeLone for two quarters.
I saw a lot.
Wow.
What a reference.
I saw a lot, brosie.
But here we go.
This guy ended up in the hospital trying to help you out, Steve.
But let's hear more from you.
Okay.
Yeah, Logan Bertels.
He asked the Cats Facebook fans to roast him.
They lit him up.
There are hundreds, hundreds of of messages and he read the
best ones hey what's up guys my name is logan i'm from olympia washington lifelong three-stripe
white belt and practitioner of the dark arts here to read you some roasts from the king and the
sting facebook page about me james padilla says you look like the victim and the child molester
at the same time vance says you look like the kind of guy that waves by with both hands.
You caught me.
Eric Linnitis says, you look like a second string
ultimate Frisbee player.
Jer Whiff says, you look like Nate Diaz's little sister.
You didn't have to do that.
That's the best one.
Joshua Felling says, you look like a guy
who puts giant speakers in his Kia Sportage.
Sean Fellin says, you look like
Forrest Griffin's gay little brother.
Daniel Henke says, you look like you make
animal crackers fight before you eat them.
Daniel, everyone does.
That's true, Daniel.
My favorite was from Tyler Heidler.
He says, Down syndrome or not, get it fixed.
That's all I'm gonna do, guys.
Shout out to Riley.
You're hot. hot gang gang buzz buzz
amazing now a lot of people believe that there's correlation between the asian community and ds
people whoa been myth a lot myth a lot i've also read those facts yep can you google that what are
you doing right now chin
will you back me up dude let's see what these guys are attacking us what yeah no dude but a lot of
people say you guys are no chin back me up dude not that I know of no you guys have read it wrong
I mean do you know what I'm saying is if you see somebody with DS and I beat it and
they, I barely beat it.
They said in our town, I'm still fighting it.
So you're saying Asian people look like we all have.
No, no, no.
No, let's, we gotta let you guys.
I'm not saying that at all.
Okay.
I'm saying when you guys see each other, is there any like kind of a little bit of a wink
like, Hey, are you offended by this or what?
No, I'm not offended.
But Brendan did look at one of our pictures,
my friend's pictures,
and he thought one of my friends had a touch of it
just because of the way he looks.
But we have slanted eyes.
I didn't even notice that.
Wait, wait, wait, finish that thought.
What were you going to say?
It was a picture of Jin's friend.
I thought maybe he had a touch of it.
I don't know, A little splash of it.
He did really think so.
Wow.
Look, here and now it's there and now.
I was just asking.
I don't know.
But anyway, I love what this guy had to say.
Those were hilarious.
Down syndrome.
The Diaz brother.
Yeah, the Diaz brother.
And that's Logan Bertels?
Logan Bertels, who I thought was Logan Bartels.
Different guy.
I was like, if you want to shout out the band, feel free.
There's a guy named Evan Bartels.
In what band?
It's just him, a solo singer, Evan Bartels.
Yeah.
Bartels?
Yeah, Bartels.
And he has a theme song on this past weekend.
I was like, shout out the band.
He's like, what band?
One letter different.
He's like, the lap band.
He just starts reading an ad for lap band surgery.
Now, Steven, when you see that kind of stuff
and you see a man really embracing some of the things
that are troubled with him.
I love it.
Yeah, that's how I feel.
I love it.
Love it.
Yeah.
That's how I feel.
Humility.
Yep.
And we got one more.
And this is from.
And this is me.
This guy looks wet.
Hey, what's up, guys?
It is Travis Staggs from Indianapolis, Indiana.
And I'm going to read some of the best roasts of me from King and the Sting fans.
Cameron Armitage says,
Your face looks like a sucker that was dropped on a hairy carpet.
Baylen Rogers says,
You look like a blind FedEx guy.
No wonder I still ain't got my shit.
It's been two months.
Tyler Griffiths says,
you look like the type of guy
who asks for a girl's number
just to get closer to her brother.
Cody Burns says,
you look like the kind of guy
that can stick a popsicle up his ass
and tell what flavor it is.
True.
Eric Ritchie says,
you look like you tried to grow a beard
but forgot how, so you glued
your father's chest hair to your neck.
Beau Vance says
you look like the kind of guy that
walks into Supercuts and says
give me the usual.
Michael Christopher says
you look like you bring your guitar to the party.
Travis Bermal says
you look like you're trying to bring
back Axe body spray.
Taylor Hank says
you look like you close all
cupboards and doors with your hips.
And last but not
least, BJ Compton
says your smile says
my teeth look like gang
signs. Yikes.
Congrats on the black belt, Brendan.
Gang gang, buzz buzz.
Buzz buzz, young man.
Those were great.
Yeah, that's great and that's brave
to just do it like that.
Yeah, and shout out, I think it was Travis
that started the whole thing, which is great.
So keep that going in those Facebook groups.
Those are hilarious.
We'll reach out.
Love them.
Yeah, we need some ladies, too, to put it in there, huh?
Some ladies.
Put yourself out.
Let's get Big Moose on there.
Let's get your old ex, Moose, on there.
Get Craig to put himself up there, your driver.
Ooh, ask Craig, roast me.
Your handler.
Yeah.
If he's down, if he has the thick skin for it,
you're going to have a thick skin and get lit up like that.
Craig, you down?
He's not in yes.
Yeah.
And Craig is it?
And Craig's hospice worker?
What is he? Yeah.
How do you know Craig?
Wait, what's Craig?
That's my,
I've known him for 18 years.
Yeah, sure you have.
Yeah, that's fine.
But why is he just hanging out?
You've been in hospice for 18 years?
That's my buddy.
He just comes around?
Yeah, that's my buddy right there.
That's a loyal friend right there.
Go ahead, Craig.
Craig looks like he holds a boom mic at a porno set. Look at him. That's good. friend right there. Go ahead, Craig. Craig looks like he holds
a boom mic at a porno set.
Look at him.
That's good.
He does have a boom mic.
Beautiful.
And Craig's an adult, huh?
Yeah.
And your boy's 18 years.
Yeah, he's my neighbor, too.
Oh, wow.
That explains a lot.
That's hospice.
Yeah.
We've known each other
almost two decades.
You keep saying stuff,
but it's all right.
He comes over And watches the fights
With you and shit
Yeah we've watched UFC
Yeah for sure
Craig
Replaces toilet paper
When I don't have any
Craig is a hospice worker
Craig changes my underwear
That's my buddy
What are you doing right now
If I shit my pants
Craig cleans it up
Yeah that's a
Hospice worker my man
Craig gives me my medications
That's a good guy right there.
No, he seems like a genuine dude.
We told Stevie there weren't any other suitors for him,
but we actually did have one more person
call him out. You ready
for this, Stevie? Yeah, go ahead.
And I want to check in with Stevie. Are you doing okay
right now? Yeah, I'm doing okay. Yeah, I'm fine.
We're glad you're here, man. I don't
want to feel like we're attacking you. I just feel like...
No, I appreciate what you guys are doing.
For sure. Oh, who's this Don? I'm glad you're here, man. I don't want to feel like we're attacking you. I just feel like... No, I appreciate what you guys are doing. I thought we were helping.
For sure.
For sure.
Oh, who's this Don?
Okay.
Is that Roy Nelson?
Oh.
What's up, Stevie?
Didn't see you there.
It's George.
I hope you're training for our match, man.
I know I am.
I've seen you wearing that diaper on
scissor bros I think that's because I'm about the rest of the shit out your man
tell me little rain gonna save you from this one oh man I know you're crazy
I'm gonna make a hundred thirty pound stir fry out you man Let's go
Ouch
Nick what are you guys doing man
I'm gonna wear you out more than that oil of black ass you got in your closet
Oh
Man this is hurting me man
Look at him
When we doing this name of time
Place man
Look at him getting low
You can get jiggy with it bro
He knows that math's not big enough
Yeah
I don't know what to say about that
Yeah he's a big boy
Wow
What's his weight class?
Heavy.
But dropping fast, dude.
I mean, like a TWA flight.
Yeah, he's melting in front of our eyes.
He's getting leaner.
Because him getting in a wrestling stance is pretty, yeah, threatening there.
But that's when you have to go low.
Low single.
Low single ankle.
You know how to ankle pick?
John Smith single.
Oh, dude, he'll wear you like a frickin' scarf.
Oh, no, he'll wear you like a damn Ugg, bro.
Yeah, but if he gets a hold of me, then I'm done.
Yeah, he gets on top of you.
It's been a long night for you, bro.
There's no getting up from that.
Hey, what's up, buh-buh?
What's up, George?
Hey, how you guys doing today?
Good.
Just saw the video, man.
You looking good, dude.
Looking tough, man.
Looking real tough.
Thank you.
Yeah. Whenvie saw the
video and went man he ain't shit no i didn't say that i respected it no i didn't say he's lying to
you he's lying to you don't don't believe him that's all right stevie's one and oh against his
old black ass so yep oh ouch okay buddy yeah i respect i like the video you look like you're
training yeah i'm putting in some work.
Yeah, you look like it.
How much weight have you lost, big dog?
I'm officially down 130 altogether.
Wow.
And since the last time we talked to you.
319 this morning.
319 this morning.
Looking lean, dog.
And today is officially my one year into my weight loss journey.
Congratulations, man.
You look great.
May 31st was my birthday, so I just turned 22.
Life is looking beautiful.
Good for you, man.
I'm literally talking to my fucking role models right now.
There you go.
Thanks, George.
What does your life look like differently?
Honestly, if you think about just some of your daily thoughts
and stuff like that, how are some of those different from what it was like a year ago,
just like your average daily thoughts? Well, I mean, besides with just the pandemic,
like when I would think about going out anywhere, anything that involved physical exertion, it would be a hurdle.
It would be a challenge.
It would be threatening, you know?
So now I go out and I fucking face the world.
Even if I don't want to do it, don't isn't an option.
The only thing I can do is do.
So we're moving forward.
That's crazy, man. That's powerful moving forward. That's crazy, man.
That's powerful, dog.
That's cool, man.
We're proud of you, big dog.
Looking good, man.
Thank you so much.
You feel more confident?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm still looking like a fucking bag of milk right now.
You can't do much about that.
All I can do is fucking work my ass off.
That's all I can focus on.
That promo, your personality is already there, though.
That promo was fucking fire.
Yeah, that was great.
Thank you, thank you.
I heard that you guys needed a little WWE promo.
You know, I had to give it my all.
No, that was great, brother.
Yeah, you did a great job, man.
We're going to figure out with Stevie, too, today
how to arrange this fight and get you guys on the mat.
You know, I want to see this thing to a finale.
I do too.
Stevie has a hickey on his neck.
It's a wrestling injury.
I'm impressed with your training.
You wrestling with the vacuum cleaner?
I respect your training and what you're doing, brother.
Keep it up. You're doing real good.
Stevie, I love and I respect you too.
I love you, dude. I love you so much.
I'm going to fuck you up. You're doing real good. DB, I love and I respect you, too. I love you, dude. I love you so much. I'm going to fuck you up.
I know you are.
Okay.
I love you so much.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Okay.
That's it.
I respect.
Yeah.
You're looking good, brother.
We'll check in with you soon, man.
We appreciate you so much, man.
We love you.
Keep it going, man.
Keep it going, big dog.
Always.
Love you, man.
All right, brother.
All right, gang, man.
Okay.
Wow. Look at him there., big dog. Always. Always. Love you, man. All right, brother. All right, gang, man. Okay. Wow.
Look at him there.
Look at that.
Look at that.
George the Animal Style, they call him.
Wow, look at that stance, man.
That's really threatening, that wrestling stance.
Damn.
Stevie, now look.
Now, here's an option.
What are you guys doing?
You guys kind of caught me off guard there, too.
I think you have an opportunity really to make...
I think you can't make really to make, I think you
can't make these women's dreams come true,
but I think you can make this guy's dream come true by
meeting this guy somewhere and actually doing
a match. He's going to get down to
the weight. That's his only motivation.
I like this guy. We'll arrange it. I think eventually
we can probably fly him here, Nick, do you think?
Yeah, I think so. And do it here?
Yeah. It's not my money. Let's do it.
I'll ref it.
And then just get a mat out there.
I don't know how big the mats have to be.
Do they have to be big, Brendan?
Pretty big.
He's a big boy.
Should we get the singlets, like the whole outfit?
He's a big boy.
What?
We don't need a damn mat.
We don't need like a, what's that ship called that's flat on the top?
Aircraft carrier?
Aircraft carrier, yeah.
We don't need that, Brendan.
It's a man.
It's a human
being no i know but we're gonna need some space 22 22 22 yeah okay if you guys want to do it i
mean he seems like a good kid and i feel like you maybe we could do a tag team you and jeremiah
versus him versus him and shimagani if you get tired oh yeah i could tag jeremiah in and
trimagani who's that shinogogami. He's a street fighter.
Street fighter, heavyweight.
Street beefs.
Yeah, let's do that.
Like Ken and Ryu?
Yeah.
Yeah, if Ken ate Ryu.
Ooh, I want to be Bullseye.
Yeah, tag team.
And then can we get the singlets?
Sure.
Yeah, you keep going there, but we can do that.
Get the whole outfit.
Custom made.
We get some Scissor Bros singlets.
Yeah.
Whatever he wants to do.
I'm Bullseye the Mexican dragon.
The whole thing, the headgear. Yeah. Yeah. What's wants to do. I'm both of the Mexican dragon. The whole thing. The headgear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's going on?
What are you guys doing now?
This is about, you're insatiable.
This isn't about you.
Okay.
This is Flop My Aunt from.
Ooh.
TikTok Aunt.
My name is Courtney Campbell and I'm trying to flop my aunt.
Her name is Rhonda.
Help me, Rhonda.
But she's more like a mom to me.
We're from Danville
Virginia here's some fun facts she's a hard-ass worker hell of a cook she loves
to have fun she likes concerts traveling in Lake Beach getting down and dirty
riding side-by-sides out in the woods she can tie a cherry stem with her tongue
and she's about to be 50 this year so be easy with her quick ps gang gang buzz buzz what up theo
i'm single about to be 34 no kids never married and i'm a nurse practitioner. Why not? I love nurses. I'm Rhonda. Oh, I love nurses. Rhonda got them auntie tits, dude.
That's for you, buddy.
I love nurses.
Ooh, and Rhonda caught that duck.
Ooh, she caught that duck.
And you love duck.
Korean?
Yeah, well, I don't know.
Yeah, I guess so.
I'm not a big duck guy.
She seems fun.
A little bit of Morgan Wallen, baby.
Oh, that's the jam.
Oh, you know me. I'm with her roommates home.
If I know me.
You know that song?
I love them.
Yeah.
Love them.
That's the best one.
That's Rhonda.
Help me, Rhonda.
That's a milfo.
I've never seen one.
Oh, wow.
From Milfissippi, dog.
Hell yeah.
You do.
Ties that cherry stem with her tongue, daddy. Oh, yeah. That underground rail road. Boy, you know what I'missippi, dog. Hell yeah. You do. Ties that cherry stem with her tongue, daddy.
Oh, yeah.
That underground rail road, boy.
You know what I'm saying, dog?
You, buddy.
I like how you brought her road.
Bro, this is a great opportunity for you, man.
She's younger than you.
No, this is not my segment.
Not a duck.
That's not my segment.
This is your segment.
It's all about your segment, dude.
No, this is your segment.
You never know when you're going to find love, Steve.
Flop my outlook.
No, but this is a different segment. I'd all about your segment. You never know when you're going to find love, Stevie. Flaw my outlook.
This is a different segment.
I'd be happy to... I mean, I don't know.
Who would best date? I think her style in this room, I think.
Probably Nick.
Oh, I was going to say Stevie.
Nick dated a six-year-old Uber driver once.
And no shade. I was the Uber driver.
He was the Uber driver.
Picked up the old bag and then went.
Nick dyed his hair white.
So I think, Nick, that could be your type.
Do you feel that at all?
Nick likes to wrinkle, huh?
I'm in a happy relationship.
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Oh, dude, yeah.
Yeah, I know.
I'm a happy, committed relationship.
Nick just ran out of a card.
That was a Hallmark car dude
No one's buying that
So this guy's got a
The old wrinkle hunter over there
And here's a flop my aunt
Look
This dime is for y'all's bank baby
Okay I'm sitting this one out
Oh he's got a tattoo of Bobby on his leg
What up Brendan
What up Dio
I got a king of a stinger for you I got here I got a tattoo of Bobby on his leg. What up, Brendan? What up, Theo? I got a king that's stinging for you.
I got a bear going to sun.
Harley's riding it.
Some people think it's old school and lame, like the old guys.
Wildhogs.
And then there's guys like us.
Oh, wow.
Oh, Sam.
Oh, he's Mike Kress.
He's drifting on that bitch.
Wow.
Is this Hulk Hogan's son?
Nick Hogan?
Yeah, is this Nick Hogan?
God damn.
Oh, that's nice.
Is this Fast and Furious 9?
If it is, it's better than Fast and Furious 7 was.
I'll tell you that.
This already is better than that.
His neighbors definitely hate it.
Oh, yeah.
I don't even know if I'm a huge fan.
Oh, wow. Hopping wheelies on that ass.
On that old school.
That's a vibe, dog.
Our guys do let me know.
It's going to be a big point summer all year, Brendan.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I feel like he's going to crash. He's going to be a big point summer all year, Brendan. Let's go. I feel like he's going to crash.
He's going to crash.
He will.
Dang.
Oh, man.
That guy's good, man.
That thick, evil Knievel on that fucking hog, man.
I hate the loud vehicles, though, man.
I hate the loud vehicles, too.
Yeah, I can't stand it.
And now, part of, and I hate to drop into y'all's culture again, but I know you guys are really.
You want to say Kawasaki or something?
No, no, no.
I feel like that's coming.
I wouldn't say anything like that.
That's idiot.
Okay.
I'm just saying you guys, it's very popular to have some of these mufflers.
Yes, that was a huge deal for us.
Is it still a thing or not?
Yeah, it's still a thing.
That's a thing in the Asian community?
I mean, when we do our import cars. I had a super loud muffler. Doesn't your brother have a thing or not? Yeah That's a thing in the Asian community I mean when we do our import cars
I had a
Like the Honda Civic
Super yeah
Super loud muffler
Doesn't your brother have a Godzilla GTR?
He has a Godzilla GTR
Yeah
But those aren't that loud
They sound cool
They sound cool
But we made it sound loud as crap
We took the catalytic converter off
That's what I was gonna say
All of it out
Modifications
To Theo's point
Yeah
Now what is it that
Why is that part of a thing?
Like what is it?
I don't even have a car.
I don't know.
I have no idea why they do that.
You don't want to just toss a spoiler on that next Uber that picks you up?
You never get that urge?
No.
You would be the craziest Asian, bro, if you just brought your own catalytic converter
or your own spoiler and hooked it onto any Uber that picked you up.
Put a wing on that Honda.
That's a lot of work.
Really?
That would be insane. That would be insane. It would also be awesome. Put a wing on that Honda. That's a lot of work. Really? That would be insane.
That would be insane.
It would also be awesome.
It would be awesome, though.
Where would you get something like that?
If you go full Asian, I don't know.
There's a kid, I'm sure.
Straight pipes.
There you go, Chin Nose.
Straight pipes.
Straight pipes.
We got a guy from the Zeta cartel calling, huh?
Yeah, he's got another king in our stand for us.
He's a zookeeper from that place we almost bought.
That was a bad idea.
Shout out to the gods, Dio Petra and Brandon Spanning Guap.
Shout out to the Coach of Corner, Kate and Chapel.
And shout out to Nick and Crimson Chin.
My name's Hector.
You can say my last name is Awa.
I'm from Denver, Colorado.
Brandon know what's up and I have a king
gate or sting it so how do you guys feel about the dead assuming the answer now
how do you feel about living in front of the cemetery
of the cemetery.
Wow.
Oh, no.
Would you guys have a problem living near
100 plus dead people?
Are you guys not into
ghost sex and all that?
Look, that's the original
storage wars, man,
is those type of deal.
The other day, it's so funny,
I saw a storage facility
next to a cemetery and it was just like the craziest uh dichotomy I couldn't live by it
that's a hard pass for me yeah it's a sting it's stinging hard yeah it's a sting why man
living living by the dead y'all don't know any fucking vatos dog y'all don't know any
fucking gangbangers that's why y'all don't know any true Mexicans dude Mexicans bro you'll wake up in don't know any true Mexicans, dude. Mexicans, bro, you'll wake up in the morning,
your Mexican friend will be out there talking to a ghost, bro.
They love, if you go to El Dio de los Muertos,
they go to the cemetery and party with them,
do dice, do oranges, eat oranges.
They drop those little orange flower petals.
You can hear them at night.
Shoot the six-pointer.
Yeah, shoot the six-pointer.
But there's ghosts.
That's like 150 ghosts near your house.
Yeah, but I think you have a lot of stuff to blame stuff on.
Where's these young ghosts at, man?
I keep saying that.
Everyone keeps talking about these old ghosts.
Where's the young ghosts at, dog?
That's true.
You never hear young kids talking about ghosts anymore.
Never.
Never.
Yeah, it's true.
King it?
I say king it, man.
I like the dead. And I'm into that kind of stuff that
nostalgia that uh human nostalgia you'd buy a house next to the cemetery yeah i love it i already
found a place i want to be buried man there was i was driving to mississippi one time and there's a
man there was a darker man and he was pushing a he was wearing a full suit in like 92-degree sun, pushing a lawnmower in this little cemetery.
And I thought he was, it was almost like he was a ghost.
No, that's a ghost.
I got to go there.
You want to be buried there?
I think so, man.
Unless I see a better cemetery.
Keep your eyes open, man.
Yeah, I like to go look at cemeteries,
and I like to see cemeteries.
Memorial Day weekend, apropos.
There you go.
Did you go visit any of their fallen soldiers?
I didn't.
I didn't.
Cookout, anybody?
I mean, I grilled some burgers.
I hung out with my stepfamily, and they're going to die probably soon.
Yeah.
I didn't know you had a stepfamily.
They're going to die pretty soon, I think.
You have a stepdad?
So that's close.
But I think he was in the service, I think.
You have a stepdad?
Yeah. I didn't know that. You want to be bare. You don't want yours. You don't want like I'm not getting creamed out Do what else gets cream like maybe cremated?
Spread my ashes over lower Canyon. Yeah, Topanga Canyon really in traffic or not. Yeah
Was your sin on traffic just tossing
Lambeau field. Yeah. Oh for your sin on traffic. Just toss it on the side. Yeah. That'd be sick. Lambo field.
Yeah.
Oh, for you, Lambo?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Look at this fancy fuck over here.
My bad, Doug.
Man, I just want love for you, Stevie.
I don't want love for me, really.
I think the truth is I want love for me, and I just keep putting it off.
Yeah, you're projecting on Stevie because he needs to work on you.
We need to find some love for you.
We need to find your connection.
Yeah.
I'm thinking about going to one of those places you go to to get focused on it you know oh there's places like that yeah like clinics
or something remember not rehab but looks like wellness center you maybe you'll meet a little
philly dove in the rehab that ain't gonna help are you just going back to om again no orgasmic
meditation that thing i got bit by some lady's dog. I was fiddling over there.
What was that all about?
Was that a rehab?
Oh, it was hard.
It was like this cult kind of deal where they, the first time I went, it was downtown.
And you go there, and they had coffee and everything, a couple of snacks, nothing heavy.
Nothing, like mostly fruit, light, some light kolaches.
Anyway.
Have you heard this, Brendan?
No.
That he used to do.
But anyway, so I went down there.
Luchas.
10, 15 minutes into it, somebody lays down on a table up front naked and a doctor gets up there.
Kolaches.
There you go.
There's a picture of them on the right.
Those are kolaches.
Just like breakfast snacks. Oh,is. There you go. There's a picture of them on the right. Those are kalachis. Just like breakfast snacks.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, those are delicious.
So anyway, everybody's having their little watermelon, little kalachi.
And then they say, all right, you know, Bridget's going to get up here and spread them.
So next thing you know, you have a naked lady up at the front, right?
It's literally you think you're going to be like buying real estate or something.
I'm assuming she's not attractive.
This lady's about a heavy set broad.
No, she's about an eight.
Oh, okay.
Oh, really?
Is this the girl that brought you?
This is not the girl that brought me.
The girl that brought me was a friend of mine
that was in Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
And she's Tommy Pickles.
And she does the voice of Tommy Pickles.
Is she in Pee Wee's Big Adventure?
Is she Mean Gene?
No, she's the woman.
Dottie, Dottie.
Dottie.
Oh, I love her.
Oh, that's a great movie.
He spills all the potato salad on her face.
The egg salad.
From the bicycle store.
She worked at the bike shop.
Yeah, they had the egg salad together.
Yeah, that's her.
Oh, she's great.
And she also turned Smelly Cat into a jingle on Friends.
She did?
She stole it from Phoebe.
She was like her friend from the past.
Oh, interesting.
So she brought you to this cult.
So she take me over there. There she is. She's wonderful, man. Oh, she looks good still. Oh, interesting. So she brought you to this cult. So she take me over there.
There she is.
She's wonderful, man.
Oh, she looks good still.
Yeah, she's dimed up.
She's timed up, daddy.
Hell yeah, she's maintained.
Oh, yeah.
About 50?
Oh, 101 dimensions.
Oh, for sure.
At least 50s or 60s.
101 dimensions.
I was petting that pup, though.
Because Pee-wee's Big Adventure was back in the day.
Yeah, it was.
It was in 1959, the movie.
And she was born on September 11th, R.I.P., dude.
So anyway, let's keep it cruising here.
So what happened was this.
You go to the center, then they start touching the lady up front.
They teach you how to do it.
How to basically pleasure the woman.
This is insane.
With your hand, right?
They show you how to do it.
You put on gloves and you put on a little bit of um not like gel not like preserves or
whatever lube yeah like lubricant hy jelly so you get it on your hand you start touching the lady
and it's like 15 minutes you have to go like a certain program how you do it ladies probably
you touch the lady yeah so then they have everybody in the class that's at the meeting,
you go up in a line and they teach you how to do it on the lady that's up there.
That's disgusting.
To do what?
Pleasure.
Yeah, pleasure to lady.
Pleasure to lady with your hand.
On our privates?
Yeah.
What?
And was that the one class you only did?
Not jelly, like professional jelly.
Not like something you'd have at breakfast
No no but like
KY jelly
We're not talking about peach preserves over here
I didn't mean that
KY jelly
It wasn't raspberry jam
I know
I know
Young limb smuckers over here
There ain't no smuckers involved I know that it's KY jelly I don't know I wasn't assuming that. Old freaking young limb smuckers over here. Freaking rattling off breakfast condiments. No, no. There ain't no smuckers involved.
I know that it's KY Jelly.
Yeah.
I don't know where it was from, but I think, yeah, it could have been Kentucky, man.
But we had it.
So anyway, you have the jelly.
Yeah.
So then they partner you up with different people in groups of two, and you do the whole
ceremony again on the woman.
Then.
What about the guys?
The guys.
There's no puzzle for the guys.
I'm out.
I don't want to be in this cult.
Well, that's part of you.
Stay in because you want to stay in, Brendan.
So what's the whole point of that?
The whole point of it is you learn how to pleasure women,
and then you start getting this confidence that you know how to pleasure women like a G.
What an insane fucking cult.
That's insane.
I'll tell you this.
What's the name of the cult?
It was called Orgasmic Meditation.
But here's the crazy part.
Then you're part of a group.
It's called Mickey Mouse Kids Club.
How did you find these people?
What's wrong with you?
See, you should be doing therapy.
This is insane.
You're not lying.
And the guys just have blue balls.
Yeah, kind of.
But then you start meeting up.
Then there's weekly meetups all over the place.
Are you in your underwear?
Huh?
No, the man is fully clothed up.
The woman is naked.
It's also called Spearmint Rhino.
That's right.
That's right.
I chewed gum sometimes before, but usually I would just go in there.
Are there candles?
What is it like?
Huh?
No, sometimes.
Eyes wide shut type thing?
Honestly, one of the brothers sometimes would try to turn some music on on his phone.
Are you wearing cloaks?
One of the brothers sometimes would try to turn some music on on his phone. One of the brothers start beatboxing.
Are you wearing cloaks?
And is there like a whole like witchcraft?
It sounds awkward as fuck.
It's pretty awkward.
But then you start going to these meetings.
Dude, then there's meetings all over every night, all over places.
People just meet up.
Where?
Where are they meeting?
Malibu?
Over on Lincoln Boulevard.
Jesus.
That's insane.
Dude, you guys should be talking to him about this stuff.
A homeless guy.
This is what he's doing.
A homeless guy jumped in.
He started coming to the one on Lincoln.
How did he find out about it?
Because the door's open.
Just word him out?
No, he's just wandering by.
He was like, I like pussy.
Totally.
Wow.
Totally.
That's exactly how he got in there. He smelled
the food, man. He needs to wash
his hands. Oh, he smelled the kolaches.
Oh, yeah. You know?
He smelled that Kentucky jelly,
baby. Wait, hold up. I think you're missing certain
parts, so is she... Missing?
I was saying... You're not being that detailed.
You think I'm some little peasant?
You think I don't play y'all's game here?
I get for that?
That was just a nap, buddy.
No, that was real.
That was a nap.
I have a baby after I get so much pussy.
You fucked.
Fuck you.
Listen, there's a line, a single file line.
Yeah.
20 guys in suits.
No, that's gangbang.
What is going on here?
Dude, you went to a gang bang
An organized gang bang
Where are you going man
No you're confusing
With peach preserve
Yours sounds like an audition
For the Matrix 2 dude
I'm talking about something different
No that's the same thing
We're talking about the same thing
No we're not
Yeah we are
You said the men in clothes
We have never been talking about the same thing.
We are men in suits, single file line, candles, KY jelly, and a naked woman.
Am I right?
And how many times did you do this?
No, that's the original meeting.
Once you go to the weekly meetings, you wear whatever you want, and they just pair you off in a man-woman group.
That's insane.
Is there a shrine?
You have to bring your own blanket, so it's BYOB. on the like an altar like what she's on like you lay down these
blankets and pillows can you be under the influence like can i be seven bears deep in that
bit you can but i would i would do a mint if you do that is it dark in the room no it's pretty well
lit and she's still naked she's butt naked there's 20 women in the meeting so 20 women's butt naked. She's butt naked. There's 20 women in the meeting. So 20 women are butt naked. You're all naked.
Wait, wait, wait.
There's more than one woman?
Oh, I see.
Now I'm confused, man.
No, you're in the sky in image.
Here we go.
Huh.
Here we go.
Let's see an image right there.
There's Theo.
Theo.
There we go.
Which one?
Let's see.
That's good.
What's going on there?
That's from a movie.
Cats in the Wild.
Yeah, that's Cats in the Wild.
And I'm the guy right there in the green shirt.
Is that?
Vince Vaughn.
Yeah, I'm Vince Vaughn.
That's from Couples Therapy.
Oh, it is.
You're wearing basketball shorts?
There you go.
That's exactly what it's like.
Crazy.
What is he doing?
That's orgasmic meditation.
The guy's elbows deep in somebody's girl.
Is that what I think I'm watching
Yeah, and that guy wasn't ready like I'm not ready. Yeah, this is basically what's his right hand doing?
Huh?
The woman your pleasure. How many times did you go through tell he got bit by a dog?
Yeah, I went about 15 times then I went to this lady's house and her dog bit me
on the
bit me on the arm.
What kind of dog was it? Huh?
Bichon.
It was like a Bichon Frise, yeah.
There you go.
What the hell?
But it was older, though,
and it started to get brown
around the head.
Why did the dog bite you?
Now, it obviously got a little
more intimate if she invited you
to the house,
because it was probably frowned upon.
Yeah.
No, it's not frowned upon.
It's actually encouraged
to meet up with people
whenever you can.
Insane.
So, do you take it further than?
No, I never took it any further, man.
Some people might.
I think there's some people and they're looking to take things further.
You touch the breasts too?
No.
It's just the lower part?
Shirt stays on, only pants and underpants come off.
And then just her vagina.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
Insane.
And then you have jelly in your hand In your fingers
If you want to bring some
Yeah or they have some
And then how long are you
I'm sorry for doing this
No it's interesting
I forgot about it
But are you doing
Are you doing this
If you want
No you don't
You don't know
There's only one move you can do
They teach you how to do it
Show us
I'm not showing it
No just do it
Just do it
Just do it in the air
Steve you gotta take the class
I'm not taking the class
Huh These are secret techniques Just do it in the air. Steve, you got to take the class, man. I'm not taking the class.
Huh?
These are secret techniques.
Just do the Cobra Kai.
Huh?
Is it a Cobra Kai?
Like a Cobra... Is it like...
No, it's not like that.
Okay.
It's kind of like a...
It's kind of based on the thumbs up.
Oh, it's a thumb move.
I would say it's loosely based on the thumbs up.
Did you learn anything? Brandon. It's kind based on a thumbs up did you learn anything brandon
it's kind of like a thumbs up and then it come hey buddy come over here so it's you jam me a thumb no
come on see that's why i don't want to do it that's why i'm gonna do it i'm taking down a dark
route some wrap thumbs up wait hold on you guys are being weird like show me like what do you mean
over here you're in hospice i know but you're up Over here You were in hospice Thumbs up
I know but
Thumbs like this
You're telling us we're weird
You're in hospice
I know but thumbs
Okay
You're living without cancer
In hospice alright
So thumbs up
Then come over here
Come over here
Oh that's what you mean
Oh okay I get it
I get it
I get it
It's a lot of like
Thumbs up like this
Like at the end
You feel like you could be
A crossing guard for like mice
I got it
I got it I got it. I got it.
I got it.
I understand now.
This guy's got a king at her sting it.
Get me out of this conversation.
Okay.
Sorry, Phil.
Are you?
That's what I want to know.
Are you?
Are you?
Have you ever been?
Have you ever been a guy who just.
Oh, my God.
Is that boring? Float pods. King pods king you're singing what the hell is that
he said float pods i did it once it's warm water usually your pants are off i jacked off into one
they never had you jerked off in it i did man you nutted i never got invited back yeah isn't it
salt water it is man it's warm water just floating there with your dick out.
And then you jerked off.
I apologize. There's a filter system in there
though, so don't be weird.
But you nutted in the water?
How come you guys
are closing down?
I'm a real honest about all my stuff.
I talk about my nutsacks.
I'm talking about my dry nuts and you guys
won't even talk about jerking off in a float tank.
I didn't do it.
I know, but I'm asking him.
You went 15 times playing float.
Yeah, but I did it.
It was registered.
It was organized.
This was a sanctioned event.
You're the one who's just.
He's just doing that on his own.
They invited me.
And then they go, just take your pants off.
So the next thing I'm floating in this warm water in the dark.
But do you use your imagination? I got bored. How did you just use your pants off. So the next thing I'm floating in this warm water in the dark. But do you use your imagination?
I got bored.
How did you, you just use your mind?
Oh yeah.
You're out here freebasing your own DNA into this float tank.
Never went back.
You didn't say the name of the place or anything.
Yeah, I never went back.
But he did buy the jacket, which matches the float tank.
Are you naked in there?
Unbelievable.
Yeah, I was naked in there.
So you're floating naked.
Nothing to do.
Wow.
It's scary in there, right?
Yeah.
Pitch black.
Not for me.
Yeah.
That's the crazy thing. A lot of times when guys have nothing to do, they will masturbate. Wow. It's scary in there, right? Yeah. Pitch black? Not for me. Yeah. That's the crazy thing.
A lot of times when guys have nothing to do, they will masturbate.
Yeah.
I got very bored.
Yeah.
Oh, it's the best.
At a show later that night at the Cubs.
It's the best.
You played the Cubs?
Cubs.
At Cubs?
Yeah.
Oh, I will never masturbate during the day.
I don't even like to masturbate during the week.
Good for you for putting yourself out there and learning how to get it done.
Well, here's what happened.
I want to tell you guys some of the experience that I had that I had was you start to feel,
because you start to learn how to pleasure women.
The right way.
The right way.
What is this called?
Chin?
With your feet.
Justiculatively.
You learn how to pleasure women.
Justiculatively with your appendages.
You learn how to pleasure women Just stick it with your appendages
So
Then next time when you look at a woman bro
You know in your head
That you can
Oh dog
Did you eat it?
What about your tongue?
Huh?
What?
I just
But
You know what I mean
And there's Dave Portnoy doing it
And there's a womannoy doing it.
And there's a woman.
Damn.
Damn.
Old flat face.
These ladies getting diced up.
Theo.
All right, Dave.
Theo.
That guy was obviously winning, bro.
My girls made no sound.
One woman fell asleep. Is that what it's like? Is this accurate?
That guy clearly has his black belt, whatever that thing is.
You really did this, man?
Bro, I was... Yeah, I'm a one-stripe
white belt. You're a member of this community.
I was. They got busted.
Why did you get out? Huh?
Why did you get out? Honestly, dude, there was... Too much time?
There was...
There was... At one time
when I went to the place
over on Lincoln
there was two homeless dudes
fucking beefing in there
after one of them
had pleasure
like a woman
in the thing
dude
and I'm like
and people
you know it's LA
so we don't want you
like you don't want
you can't call somebody homeless
and I'm like
this guy has
Oscar the Grouch
gloves on his hands
and he's touching
your vagina,
and you're not going to call him homeless?
You're an idiot.
Okay.
Yeah.
How did he find out about the deal?
Literally, the door's open.
That's why he smelled the food, bro.
He smelled the jelly, bro.
He smelled it.
You're right.
He smelled it.
Bro, it's the reason why they even have doors on stuff is to keep homeless people out.
Yeah, man, especially down there off Lincoln.
You think I'd have fun there?
Oh, you would be.
I'd be the king down there.
Oh, you'd be the Oxana Bayou love it.
I'd be the finger king.
Yeah.
You'd thrive.
You would be the.
What'd you say?
You'd thrive down there, dog.
I would thrive?
No, you'd be the Tristan Yamaguchi or whatever of it.
Yeah.
I do well, huh?
The Olympic skater.
Yeah, I'll do that.
Yes.
You'd be the Germany land of that.
There you go.
Right there.
That's me.
Oh, yeah.
You'd get murdered by your brother.
Oh, my God.
If me and Bob went there.
Well, if you go, make sure you document it for us.
Yeah.
So you're not going to go on a date, but you're going to fight George.
Is that where we're at?
I think so.
We just want to make sure that you want to do something, Stevie.
We want to help.
No, I appreciate it.
All we're doing is trying to help.
Theo's had an experience in that line of work.
Yeah, but I met a gal that I like and stuff.
I don't know what's happening.
Seems like she liked you a second on that neck.
Well, you just had to tell us that, man.
I'm glad you...
We just wanted you to find somebody.
It didn't matter that...
It doesn't matter who it is.
I wanted to set up where... Because it's ironic, right? We did that, and then I'm glad you... We just wanted you to find somebody. It didn't matter that... It doesn't matter who it is. I wanted to set up where...
Because it's ironic, right?
Like, we did that, and then this one is way different.
Yeah, just...
I want to make it different, right, Nick?
Yeah.
Yeah, just to have a different kind of flow to the podcast.
We love you, man.
Oh, yeah.
I hope you figure it out.
Look, man, we're happy you're here.
Thanks for having me, man.
Yeah, it's fun, man.
It's fun to...
Thanks for sharing your story, too, Theo.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're welcome, man.
Now, are you guys sure you want to show that footage at the beginning or you can show
it again at the end if you want no no no I don't want to see it it sounds like
you like we'll just play it out we'll close it out I'm in Oklahoma City
tonight Brickstown comic club Thursday Friday Saturday get Joe tickets love you
guys man love you too man and uh i'm gonna be at i got tickets going on sale right now and uh they're at theovan.com slash tour and that's
st louis cincinnati charlotte durham chattanooga knoxville, Wilmington, Wilkes Bar, and some other places.
Charleston, Richmond, Albany, Buffalo, Columbus, and Minneapolis.
But I'm excited, man.
So go check it out, theovon.com slash tour.
And thank you guys, as always, for your support.
And Stevie, man, we love you, man.
I love coming here.
Let's close it out with the video.
No, no, you guys don't have to do that again.
He showed it twice already.
Cut his mic.
We showed it three times.
We showed it three times.
We love you. Harden the paint. I do not think. I am in flow. Black rifle coffee. I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor.
I am a monster.
About to open up with this at my concerts.
Flow is contagious.
Brows are outrageous.
Thicker than girls that are Instagram famous.
Damn.
Hungry like I'm fresh off keto.
Seeing red like Andrew Santino.
Every song I hit like the great Bambino.
Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos.
But everything's gonna be fine.
Hate on me.
I do not mind.
Theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times.
They sliding into my DMs.
A couple of you try, but couldn't beat him.
Quit playing like Nintendo DS.
You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz.
Meaning y'all edible.
Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible.
Brennan's son hit me up.
He said it's too loud in the club.
Can you pick me up?
King and the sting. King and it's too loud in the club. king in the sting, king in the sting, bee sting rat king, king in the sting, king in the sting, got the bees in a trap, got the cheese on a string. Thank you.