The Golden Hour - Episode 126: Switch And Bait

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

Theo’s mom calls in once again to have a heart to heart talk with Theo about Steebee Weebee, and the guys talk Steebee pulling the rug out from under them, Facebook fans lig...hting up Nick, Christian and the crew, all new Anonymous Confessions and KATS In The Wild, a surprise visit from comedian Ari Mannis and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hold on. Legal. Go back to my boy Dutch Smith, bro. And let's see what's going on. Hey, how fake of a name is that? What's your name? Dutch Smith? I get a chicken bake and croissant.
Starting point is 00:00:12 Start Dutch back from the top, bro. Let's take Dutch off top, dog. And this is long neck before something happened to him. Back off my broccolini Get your life together Don't touch me bro I'm not touching you dude Too much cream in your coffee papa
Starting point is 00:00:36 Too much cream Too much cream means you like guys Sorry Don't let your mom talk shit about me. I don't like guys, you idiot. Well, your coffee makes a difference. Hey. Hey, Ma.
Starting point is 00:00:53 How's my son? I'm doing all right. We're going to do an episode again in a few minutes. Oh, you're in California. You move around so quickly. Well, I hadn't heard from you, so I'm just, you know, I was just thinking about you and just wondering how you were doing and, I don't know, did you, how do you feel? What are you, are you washing something, ma?
Starting point is 00:01:22 No, I had something, yeah, there was the sink in the kitchen. Yeah. How do you feel, kiddo? I feel pretty good. I'm just kind of, we had like a, we had that guy Stevie come in. Remember him from the. Yeah, yeah. And he like had us set him up with some girls.
Starting point is 00:01:36 And then he like kind of lost it. He like said he didn't even want any girls. And he already gets a bunch of girls. He kind of like switched and baited us or whatever they call it yeah bait and switch that's what they call it you mean that was you weren't filming though huh yeah yes ma'am we were and it just i guess it kind of threw me for a loop me too yeah well what about brendan i mean did he feel the same way yeah he's pretty mad he's actually in here right now you can say hey hey mama hey brendan how you doing i'm doing thank you well i told all kinds of surprises huh i guess mama it just was a shock. Pretty disappointed.
Starting point is 00:02:26 Brennan's disappointed. Yeah, I am. I'd imagine both of you are. I mean, it's really hard to say if he if that was his intent you know. Or if he just
Starting point is 00:02:40 flew off the handle or whatever the phrase is. That's a proper phrase. Yeah. No, it's, I agree with you. So, anyway, I'm going to get, I'm going to. Baby's a little unstable. Fuck you!
Starting point is 00:02:54 I got so much pussy in the weekend, I could have a little baby all the way. What? So, fuck you guys. I mean, he's acting that way anyway. That's a good point. Yes, ma'am. I think it could be but um but anyway yeah i didn't mean to uh i'll call you back a little bit later though after the deal i have a knack of calling
Starting point is 00:03:12 when you guys are shooting sorry no that's okay ma all right love you ma thanks bye mama wow she seems pretty disappointed herself well i just made a good point though he might be unstable and we're not thinking about that we're thinking we're dealing with a normal young 46 year old here yeah yeah i can't tell if we did something wrong i just don't even know what happened i thought we gave him brilliant options you did did? Brilliant options? The Montana Honey, the Big Moose seemed fun, although she has kids. The first one was just looking to book. Then the last one. Yeah, the third one, Ronald McDonald's daughter.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Yeah, it does. Yeah, these girls are all pretty upset. I think next time we have them in here, they might have some messages for him. Oh, really? Did someone send stuff? Yeah, yeah. They just wanted to let them know how they're feeling about the whole situation. They probably feel bamboozled as well.
Starting point is 00:04:10 You think? I do. Dude, do you work at Jason's Deli? Are you a manager there? Oh, why do you ask? Would you like a sandwich? Dude, you look like a freaking... You look like a totally... You look like a manager at Jason's Deli. You look like you sell timeshares in New Mexico.
Starting point is 00:04:29 Really? Yeah. Dude, look at you right there. That's your son. It's a similar logo. I'll give you that. Similar colors. That was y'all's old attire, and that's y'all's new attire.
Starting point is 00:04:45 No, this is the new hair. That's you when you're not on Kratom. Yeah, you're right. I like the collar. I think keep that for the sandwich shop. No, definitely. Dude, you look like a crossing guard at a frickin' all-male gangbang, dude. I look like I make a mean six-inch.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Yeah, dude. You look like somebody who sponge bathes old men. You look like you argue that it's real tuna in Subway sandwiches. It is real. That shit's real to me. My back is brisket. Your boy did a personal PR of 600. Go ahead, bring that up.
Starting point is 00:05:21 What happened to you? Show your mom this, you bitch. Oh, it's not. No, I almost blew out my asshole. Brendan. And I'm also on that pre-workout. Oh, you're going to have a trans kid after this. That's what I said.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Dude, that'll trans your kid right out, dude. You can't. That's a hate crime in most states. Wow. right out dude you can't that's a hate crime in most states now i could i i could i was pretty crunk i could if that are you guys zoo culture i could not if it was 601 i could not do it really not a chance that is all i have to give my back is super brisket and what type of uh form are you using is that greek or what is that i think the romans did that that's your normal roman deadlift i don't think that i don't know if that form was good what do you think me chunk mold or whatever you had that kid i thought it
Starting point is 00:06:18 was good form i mean once you're brown in my back a tad but what's that heavy you just gotta say fuck it that kid yeah but how much has that young fella stunted his growth? And no offense, I know you're right here. Talking about meatball? Huh? Yeah. Meatball still wants to get on them roids, man. He keeps talking about it all the time.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Yeah. When are you just going to start doing it, dude? I don't know who to get him from. You don't have access, huh? No. Believe me, I'd be on him right now. I bet Theo knows a guy. I might know a guy over at Jason's CC Deli.
Starting point is 00:06:48 I was going to say, I don't know if I really trust Theo's guy. Oh, what's this? Oh, wow. Christian. Oh, he posted himself? Yeah. Oh, are you working with Chris Hansen? He posted himself in the Cats Facebook group after the success of the new segment last week.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Is this on DAPS, Dads Against Predators? Oh, is this stolen valor with that hockey jersey? This is a normal picture except his eyes. You can tell that's 60 MGs of Adderall right there. Oh, yeah. Are you on Adderall right now? I woke up at like 7 in the morning go to the gym so it's starting to like phase out of my system by now and how many milligrams you take this morning 20 if you hold your breath it'll amp it back up heavy breathing will amp that adderall right up dude
Starting point is 00:07:39 what yeah so did people light your ass up uh, we got a couple of good ones in here. Let's hear it. So Travis White says, you look like the kid who bought a butterfly knife at the county fair. Funny. Not that funny. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:07:55 And sorry, Travis, but you knew it wasn't when you put it on there. Alex Eakin says, you look like you dropped out of college to make motivational TikToks from your mom's basement. Bryce Christian says, you look like a stuntman of college to make motivational tick tocks from your mom's basement. Uh, Bryce Christian says you look like a stunt man in Brokeback Mountain. Uh,
Starting point is 00:08:14 Junior Lee says you look like Dustin Poirier with lupus. Funny. Um, like this right here. You look like, uh, jeans. Yeah. You look like a stunt double for Wade Robson.
Starting point is 00:08:21 You know what I'm saying? Like that would go like turtle spirit animal from entourage nice yeah dude you look like a background singer for abercrombie and fitch hit him with that last one mike godwin says you look like justin timberpond and then um sigurd sigurd ignaxon i don't even know what the fuck it's is. It's a hard R. Jesus. He goes, you look like Theo gained a few chromosomes and started dressing like Brendan. That's good. Which picture is that for?
Starting point is 00:08:53 That one, for sure. You think? For sure. I think it's tight jeans, Doug, which are now illegal in North Korea. Mullets, too. You and I can't go there, Doug. No touring in North Korea. Mullets, too. You and I can't go there, dog. No touring in North Korea for us. Dude, look, I'll send one big black guy over there from New York to beat the shit out of everybody in that country.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Okay? Oh, Nick got lit up, too? I also did me. You look like you got kidnapped there, Nick. It looks like an ISIS video. You look like Theo just tore into you and they're like, let's get a picture real quick. Someone said I... There's like I've been held for ransom. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Oh, that's great. You really do. That's true. Yeah, you constantly look like a prisoner of war. It's always a little dear to headlights. Everything's new. Yeah, you look like you got lost in the Rocky Mountains. They just found you.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Nick looks like the Geico caveman after a sober living program. Alex McDonough, it's the delivery man. It's the delivery man. It is. Goku Oliveira says, you look like Brendan's cauliflower ear. It's okay. That's all right. It was thoughtful, but it's not that great.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Yeah, it's creative. Shane Meyer says, your expression is the same one everyone has when they open the door and see Chris Hansen and not Bieber lover 6969. Well, this episode's off to a jump. For a white guy,
Starting point is 00:10:21 you really have the nose of a black guy. That's fair. That's a fair point I've heard that my entire life You've always had that big nose like that? Yeah You think he has a big nose? You think he does?
Starting point is 00:10:32 Your guy's similar His nose looks like yours if he got punched in the nose Everything's relative to Theo So like no one looks like Theo has like a We're similar Like a bell pepper nose And yours looks like you got punched
Starting point is 00:10:43 Bell pepper dog? you have theo's uh nose if he's a boxer that's what dude i got this fucking leg plant wiener right here if you want it son okay damn dog dude you know what i'm saying bro my dick wears a sandal fam shannon chapman said this is what the guy in the corner of a cuckold video looks like fair that's fair that's very good. That is well done. And that concludes. What's up, cat listeners? Buzz, buzz, gang, gang. You know what? If you're in the gym like your thick
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Starting point is 00:13:49 masked singer really masked dancer no is there a masked dancer that's that's even more low level than masked singer i i like masked singer the judges are like is it beyonce it's like nah bitch beyonce's not doing this their guest is like is this tom cruise? It's like, nah, bitch. Beyonce's not doing this. Their guest is like, is this Tom Cruise? Like, oh, I'm vibing with that. I think it is Tom Cruise. No, Tom's not fucking signing up for this. Yeah, it's like, here we go.
Starting point is 00:14:20 I would have no idea who that is. Really? No clue. Activist, speaker, and best-selling author. My God! Not a lot of big celebs doing this. Lil Wayne did one.
Starting point is 00:14:34 I mean, does this blow anybody else's mind? Is this insane? It's nuts. It's insane. They really undersold who it was,
Starting point is 00:14:42 best-selling author? No, she was the girl that was kidnapped in Utah. Yeah, but is she a celebrity for being kidnapped? If it would have been Natalie Holloway, that would have been insane. That would have been cool. You know what I'm saying? And God bless her and God bless the Smarts and Beth Holloway as well.
Starting point is 00:14:57 What if they're like, oh, it's Charles Manson. Yeah, junior. Yeah. That would be sick, right? Oh, it's Pablo Escobar's son. Yeah. Now we be sick, right? See, that's... Oh, it's Pablo Escobar's son. Yeah. Now we're talking, dude. And it's Wablo Escobar, and it's a guy who has one of his legs is shorter.
Starting point is 00:15:11 Yeah. Like the Waluigi. Like Wablo. Yeah, you got to really mix it up, man. Yeah, you guys got to step it up, man, I think. Who do you think would be a good mass singer or mass dancer? Mass singer? You got to go with... Chris D'Elia. Oh. He'd be a good... And he's a good dancer, I think would be a good mass singer, mass dancer. Mass singer? You got to go with some. Chris D'Elia.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Oh. He'd be a good, and he's a good dancer, I think. Yeah. I don't know if he is. No, he can dance. Did you see him on. America's Got Dancing or whatever. What is that?
Starting point is 00:15:36 Dance, dance, dance. No, rap battles? Dance. Dance your heart out. Dance your heart out. Lip sync battle? Lip sync battle. My dad's favorite show.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Disappointing. Really? That's his favorite show. When he told me that, I went, ah, dad. Well, I can't believe everybody was just so disappointed by the Stevie thing. That's been haunting me a little. So I can think about. I think we were playing a different game.
Starting point is 00:15:59 I don't know if we did him wrong. That's what I don't know. I think we set him up with four dime pieces, and then he came in with a hickey on his neck and apparently he's getting more tail than ever he's crushing tail and i thought we saw a different side of stevie we weren't ready for really i heard him shouting as i was walking i thought man what's stevie on yeah come in and i see you like this what what he's like i get more pussy than any of you.
Starting point is 00:16:25 Brendan, you don't have to say it. And that's him right there. Is this the same video? I think I'm seeing it. See, I'm blowing his fucking mind right now. I'm blowing his fucking mind. Oh my God. See how things work out?
Starting point is 00:16:41 See how I low-balled y'all? You think I was some peasant off the street who couldn't fucking get girls? You told me. Fuck you, man. You fucked you. I got so much pussy in the weekend, I could have a little baby on the way. I just love you guys, okay? You told me.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Fuck you guys. I can't get enough of this video. And this is so BLM, dude. The part about the baby on the way at the end. I can't get enough of that video. And then he kept going, oh, I was wrestling with Jeremiah. I'm like, blah, blah. What are we doing, man?
Starting point is 00:17:11 What are you doing? I felt like we were dealing with two different. I feel like you get Stevie or you get Weeby. I'm talking about Jekyll and Hyde, dude. And Weeby is the one who's got the baby and he's in the strip club. They call him Little Weeby. Yeah. Yeah, Little Weeby. the one who's got the baby and he's in the strip club little they call him little weeby yeah yeah little weeby and how about even his caretaker was like oh because out there i'm like craig greg yeah
Starting point is 00:17:31 craig craig i said what's that hickey on his neck he was oh he flew a girl in from washington they were sucking face sucking dick and then and then he comes in here and he's all oh no nothing happened came from wrestling yeah you're dead to me craig oh did craig get lit the fuck up yeah we're gonna wait till he's back in here oh to try it maybe again maybe not but uh this is yeah this is his picture god he i'm pretty sure i've seen him on daps i just feel did one of us mistreat was one of us too rude to steve not at all or did we do our best god i'd be so grateful if i was a single man and you and whoever the guy who was in my chair was like, dude, let us take care of you. Hook you up with these four dimes.
Starting point is 00:18:12 We'll pay for your date. We'll fly her out. Yeah. Hashtag good guys, man. Hashtag good guys. We tried. We tried, man. Do people still use hashtags?
Starting point is 00:18:22 Way to go. You do, obviously. And so does other people. I'm sure what's his name does. Meatball? Fucking yeah. Turkey Spleen or whatever that kid's name is. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:18:31 We finally got the confession out of Stevie that he was already seeing someone, so we're going to have to confront him. But other Cats fans sent in some confessions, and there were some pretty good ones. The hotline's popping off. There's definitely some I weeded out because people are clearly lying and shit oh they're talking about killing people you can you can just or or just like really well listen yeah just the affair is too crazy if you're listening after a while you know what's up yep yep yep what do you got but this one uh it's pretty good
Starting point is 00:18:59 hey guys i'm calling in with a confession. My work, which is Subway, they've been telling me to just change out the expiration date tags and replace them with ones that are current and on all the meats and all the vegetables. And I personally find that fucking disgusting. So anytime my boss isn't around, I tell the customers about it, and I tell them to get the fuck out. And they usually appreciate it and bug. And now I'm starting to feel like maybe I shouldn't do it because, you know, I'm probably going to get fired for it.
Starting point is 00:19:40 I'll tell you this, brother, and I'll tell you this straight up. I used to do this kind of stuff when I worked at the grocery, and poor people would come in. Rich people would come in. I would take their cereal box, and I would scan it like seven or eight times just for the same box. Sure. Poor people would come in, and I would just seven or eight boxes.
Starting point is 00:19:55 I would just let them go by and not scan them. Good person. And you do what you can do, and then you get busted, and then you lose your job. Now you're out of a job. Now you're sucking on the government's tit. You're over there holding one of Biden's nuts. Now you're looking for the free box.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Right. And so now you're looking for the free box here. So, you know, you do what you can. You try to help here and there. You know, give a nickel to Randall. Give a fucking dime to Sharon. You know, you do what you can. But at a certain point, people who are going to Subway still at this point in America.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I understand if you're in India or something, you're going to Subway. That's point in America I understand if you're in India or something you're going to Subway that's a 7 star restaurant you're going to Subway in America you ain't looking to live forever you deserve it every Subway has a bee on the door and there's usually a roach holding it up
Starting point is 00:20:39 with one of his arms it's usually a few roaches holding it like this it is going downhill since Jared from Subway Sister allegedly gave me a BJ in the French Quarter back in the day. What's up, Jared? Praise God, yeah. He's in prison, Doug. Don't worry about him coming after you.
Starting point is 00:20:58 He liked those four-inch rounds, baby. You know what I'm saying? And look, man, at a certain age, you can only mess with six inches or above baby but uh god bless him and god bless anybody he molested and um and i'm just saying man you do what you can but you also you got to stay gainfully employed you do you got it you got to do the you got to do the work man this is what you signed up for you do subway was flying under the radar with these dark arts of course the meat's old but if someone does order the tuna, you know that bitch got foul.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Then we go, I'm going to get the tuna. I'm going to get the tuna, daddy. Yeah, lead them back. Because we get sick with the tuna. If it's a nine-day-old cheddar cheese, let it fly, daddy. But if it's a six-inch tuna, bro, a six-inch tuna that's two weeks old? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to draw the line.
Starting point is 00:21:46 That's why I draw the line on the tuna, dog. Sometime if you hit them with that tuna, you also maybe hit them with a little antihistamine pill or something that'll take that edge off. Maybe some antibiotics and a footlong. Yeah, hit them with that Z-Pak on the backhand. Yeah, daddy. I think there's ways to combat it.
Starting point is 00:22:02 Hit them with that doxycycline at the end, slip that. And if you could call and let your boy know, I fancy myself a foot-long meatball. If you just call and let me know if it's real meat so I can move on with my life, that'd help me out. Yeah. Yeah, and so Brendan, obviously, is the type of guy that still eats there. No, I haven't been in a long time, but I am craving a meatball.
Starting point is 00:22:21 It sounds like you're just craving a ball, homie. You know what I'm saying so who's the last person here to eat at subway oh he was you ate at subway no you also get coffee from dunkin donut don't shit on dunkin dunkin's fire dunkin donuts is the best coffee in america dude thank you you know who else drinks dunkin isis and you guys aren't american if you're drinking fucking dunkin that's on record so son. It's an American company. Where's it based out of? It's not, dude.
Starting point is 00:22:46 I think it's based out of the East Coast. It's based out of fucking the Middle East. It's better than Starbucks. Let's go to Sheboygan Dunkin' Donuts closes down. Let me show you. Coffee. Let me show you freaking tit homos what's going on here. The first Dunkin' was opened in Mass.
Starting point is 00:23:04 Here we go, right here. Where at? Mass. Massachusetts, Quincy. Dude first Dunkin' was opened in... Here we go, right here. Where at? Mass. Massachusetts, Quincy. Dude, Dunkin' Donuts is the subway of coffee. ...is closed following an arson over the weekend. Police say a teenager is responsible for all that damage. He's watched 16th's Nikki Cries.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Join us live from the Central Pennsylvania Newsroom with more tonight, Nikki. Nikki looks sad as fuck. Julie, a lot of people in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed because they didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts. Today we also learned new information about the teenage girl police charged with setting the place on fire. Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin' Donuts on West Sunbury Street in Shemokin. The popular donut shop is closed until further notice because of extensive fire damage. There's a lot of people that's definitely going to miss it, no doubt about it.
Starting point is 00:23:49 A teenager is charged with starting a fire inside the restaurant on Saturday night. Shemokin police officer Ray Psycho says no one was hurt, but the place had extensive damage. You're a freaking police officer named Ray Psycho, bro? Ryko probably turns that body cam off if he catches my trail. Ray Psycho fucking a few people up. Turn that camera on my bad. I forgot to turn that bitch on. He's the only police officer that has a couple of teardrop tattoos off his left eye.
Starting point is 00:24:21 And a cobweb on his elbow. Let's go, Officer Psycho officer psycho and this would you get for why are you staying open on saturday night you're a donut shop you're selling donuts apparently that's all they had in that city though image psycho says the fire was started inside the women's bathroom the toilet paper dispenser was lit on fire and within about a minute the entire place was filled up with smoke. The mother did explain that she's recently been put on new medication. That's cyclist.
Starting point is 00:24:51 The 13-year-old who admitted to setting the fire is currently at a juvenile detention center. Many people who live in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed. Now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a Turkey Hill or something where I don't like their donuts. I'd rather the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts. Let's get the facts here. No, Duncan. Sure. Okay, quit saying donuts. Legal word one! Legal word one! Legal word one, hold on. You missed that place, weren't it? all the time if i have any like legal work that i need to do legal work go back to my boy dutch smith bro and let's see what's going how fake of a name is that what's your name dutch smith i get a chicken baker clearly on the road back from the top bro let's
Starting point is 00:25:42 take dutch off top dog and this is long neck before something happened to him. Before he got electrocuted or whatever. Stretched out. And how many times did that lady say, Donuts, we need a Turkey Hill Donuts. We're going to miss the Donuts. I'm going to go to Turkey Hill Donuts. Donuts.
Starting point is 00:25:58 I really miss Dunkin' Donuts. I go there every day. I get a chicken bacon croissant. Or I get some coffee. Powerade if I'm dehydrated. I sit there all the time. If I have any legal work that I go to every day I get a chicken bacon croissant or I get some coffee powerade if I'm dehydrated I'll sit there all the time If I have any like legal work that I need to go there I meet with my attorneys there If they don't open up
Starting point is 00:26:15 And a lot of my friends go in there get the cold coffee What iced coffee? I guess it's called people miss What, iced coffee, I guess it's called? People miss their local hangout and hope Dunkin' Donuts. Hey, what is going on? Hey, what city is this? What city's filled with these mutants? Because I ain't going to the Dunkin' Donuts. Hey, we got to get Dutch Smith on the line.
Starting point is 00:26:34 There's not a chance that's his real name, Dutch Smith. Dutch is on the fucking run, y'all. Figure it out. He ain't calling it our fucking show. Look, and here's,'m gonna go this on the on his uh profile picture i'm gonna say at this point it's kind of a thick chick with two kids it's gonna be this profile picture i'm just throwing that out there he's a wild there he is dutch smith what's up that's not him dog lives in shemokin boom well his real name might be dutch
Starting point is 00:27:01 okay avatar very strange oh he's a white rapper? Oh, let's hear some of his tracks, son. Maybe he rapped about this Dunkin' Donuts. Dunkin' Donuts and a corn coffee. What do they call it? Ice coffee, cold coffee, ice coffee. Oh, here he is. It's called Trust Him.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Ooh, is he a Christian rapper? We'll see. And hit it. He larps. Live action role play. And hit it. He larps. Live action role play. Ice coffee Dutch. My beautiful blossom. My shrouded wolf.
Starting point is 00:27:34 My dark princess. That's Edna from Dunkin' Donuts. Did you get the book? No. The production. I did everything you asked me to. I made him fall in love with me. But he always has the book, and he keeps talking about this Jesus. Don't you dare say that name. Well, I don't know what else you want me to. I made him fall in love with me. But he always has the book, and he keeps talking about this Jesus.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Don't you dare say that name! Well, I don't know what else you want me to do. Here. Take this. Oh. Make him eat. And we will weaken his connection between him and his book. Oh, everybody's grandmother has one of those.
Starting point is 00:28:00 This is religious. Get the book, and I will set you free. No. What happened? I gotta do this every day. I lose religious. No. What happened? Oh. I gotta deal with this every day. I lose sleep every day. Yes. Hit him. Tell him Dutch.
Starting point is 00:28:11 That's him, right? Yeah, it's him. Is it him? Ha. Meeting with my attorney. Ice cold coffee. Powerade if I'm dehydrated. with my attorney Dunkin' ice cold coffee powerade if I'm dehydrated
Starting point is 00:28:28 legal effort so follow his instructions chat with my attorney I'm just busting Dutch Smith Jamokin' they torching the Dunkin' Donuts
Starting point is 00:28:44 I'm so sick of all these breakups I need to wake up This is fake love, it must be Was it love in the right place? Oh, damn, he's out there trying this broad in the woods. This shit is illegal. Big Queen! Oh, damn.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's stop this. I think this might be too much. Whoa, Dutch. Can't be grabbing her by the face. Dutch is getting wild. Now, I love the suit he has on. Very medieval.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Well, Dutch is doing it, man. That's what he's doing. Yeah. Body armor of God. He's a Christian rapper. I don't know if he's coming on the show. Well, I'm just amazed. You can see he turned his life around from that moment when, you know,
Starting point is 00:29:22 that's the burning bush. Everybody has that burning bush in their life. That started a fire under his ass. That's why he's not being there anymore for legal fees. What did you say there? I said the burning Duncan instead of the burning bush. Yeah. Yep.
Starting point is 00:29:35 That's what we're saying. And here you go right there. So there we go, man. I think we solved everything and now we can go home. Dutch is doing well. God. So what was that guy saying that they changed the date on the meat yeah and he warns people and tells them not to eat there he's doing the lord's work he's gonna get fired and i appreciate him but it's also subway jared
Starting point is 00:29:55 is subway yeah it's tough that they like if it's tough that they they shouldn't allow the sandwiches to be sold to children i don't think that should be. It's like vaccines. Well, it's like I think at that point, even Jared or whatever. I don't know what his prison nickname is. Probably. I'd love to know it. Big Jerry.
Starting point is 00:30:16 Big Jerry. I did hear that he put a lot of weight back on. Oh, yeah. But I heard that. I just think if he's getting to put that still to children, then that's kind of not cool. At the very least, they should not allow the children to have the meats anymore. Kids shouldn't even be allowed in Subway, let's be honest. Like, that's the part.
Starting point is 00:30:39 I don't think you should be allowed around the sister. That's my personal opinion. What is it? Oh, me? Yeah. Let's go ahead and die. But those are old days, and those are different times, brother. Should we hear another confession? Yeah. What's up, T-Sack K?
Starting point is 00:30:53 This shit guy won't say my name. Is this Joey Diaz? This is every murderer from every Cold Case File episode, I feel like. This has to stay anonymous. Because I don't know if my wife's little brother hears this or some shit,
Starting point is 00:31:09 but great story. One time, my mother-in-law dropped her phone while I was shoveling, and I found it, and I went through it. My mother-in-law's a time piece. Sure. And I found some pictures of her in lingerie.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Fired up. Fire body. Okay. 50-something. Looking like she's 20-something. Yeah, that's a reach. Got a body on her. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:40 And, yeah. I got those pictures. Yeah, you sent them to yourself. Shout yourself to my mother-in-law for dropping her phone she's a baddie all right chief that case take it easy hope y'all have a good one peace okay different show but still this guy's confused yeah dude i would love to see those pictures your thoughts here brendan listen my mother-in-law's a smoke show too but i'm not gonna stare at the pictures that's not what the man is taught it's not what we're that's what the bit i'm in the same predicament yeah my mother-in-law's a fucking tan bro but if she drops
Starting point is 00:32:16 her phone i'm not gonna text those pics to myself you have some problems amigo tell me this yeah Brendan sorry I forgot your name for a second do you if you saw it if somebody said there's a nude picture of your stepmom right here would you look at it oh yeah I gotta look oh because what's it doing on there maybe I can help her get it taken down what that's nothing about that what do you mean
Starting point is 00:32:40 what's it doing on there what if somebody has it printed off on something it's on a piece of paper well if it's out in the world I'm gonna have to do her a solid get it taken down you know and i gotta look you wouldn't no i don't believe you no i wouldn't do you hooked up with jared's sister from subway and you won't look at a picture of a hot mother-in-law you're lying yeah i'm not lying i won't look if it's like if my dad my dad had a wife i mean she'd be a hundred years old or 120 but i would not look at a naked picture of her i wouldn't look at a naked picture of like your mom right you know what come on guys take it easy i would not look at a picture a naked picture of your mom Nick would No I wouldn't Thank you Nick
Starting point is 00:33:25 That was a test That was a test And you passed Because you're a wrinkle hunter And that kid would over there Backstrap Whatever his name is You talking about
Starting point is 00:33:32 Prime Rib over there Yeah he'd do it Wouldn't you Nah What's the oldest woman You hooked up with me ball Uh 32
Starting point is 00:33:40 Oh wow I believe that I'm tired of you saying He called him out But I was just like That's whack I believe that. I tried to say it and called him out. I was just like, that's whack. Yeah, 32. I mean, go on. But how old were you when you hooked up?
Starting point is 00:33:51 Were you like 16? 21. Was it a teacher? No, just this girl I met at a party through a friend. Girl is reserved for women who are, you're right, actually 35 and under, probably this girl. Well, I mean, I'd call her a girl because I met her for five minutes, then brought her back to my apartment, and I was sleeping on a popped air mattress at the time, and that didn't raise any red flags for her, and she didn't care. Oh, she was down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Now, does she look like a warlock? Nah, she's bad. Okay. I'll show a picture if we blur out her Instagram name and shit. Okay. Sure, we will. Yeah, we'll do that for you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:23 We can't, I mean, do we need to see i mean i would like to see her would you i'd like to see what okay you're right why am i oh that's her no no no no oh why am i ruining the fun you're right let's see her uh maybe she's a smoke show yeah we'll wait we'll wait on this this is next that's megan olvie if she got stung by bees i feel like it's pretty hot this lady is hot i love nose piercings, dude. You do? Yeah, do you not? I'll get one. I feel like you look good with a nose piercing.
Starting point is 00:34:48 What? Yeah, you look sick, dude. I would look like I should live in a stable if I get my nose pierced. Dude, you look fucking dope with that. With your mullet, the nose piercing. That's you all day. Get some fucking more bracelets on you. You think? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Like Piven bracelets. Look up leather bracelets. I don't want anything that a bird's going to land on. I also see him with like a flames tat on his neck with that shirt open like that too dude yeah be careful with brace you wear too many you better know magic yeah i don't want to get that oh there you go something yeah i feel that's a nashville vibe dude there's some you can get that you can put people's ashes in that are dead. Ooh. That's a lot. That's a lot of bracelets.
Starting point is 00:35:30 You better know magic. Some fucking Native American, but on my wrist only. That's bullshit. But also cool. A little bit of Criss Angel vibe going on. Yeah. See, that's the one. That's a lot. That's that motorcycle.
Starting point is 00:35:42 No, we don't want that for you. Yeah. That's reserved for lesbians and magicians now what about um that is that's for carpal tunnel nick that's actually that's a wrist brace yeah that's a brace but so that's where you go you got to go less than brace what about uh what were we just talking about we're talking about meatballs hook up with a 32 year old no i'm over that. All right. And that man also has his fingernails painted,
Starting point is 00:36:09 which is popular for children now. You know, a lot of y'all King Sting listeners, I've seen you on the videos. You could use some vitamins, man. And you're like, yeah, I don't want to take a multivitamin pill. I'm not taking that Flintstone multivitamin pill. That's cool, man. What if you could drink it and it tasted delicious?
Starting point is 00:36:27 What about that? What about if your sick friend here gets done with a workout and I drink my fricking vitamin? That's right. I do it with fricking athletic greens because it contains 75 vitamins, minerals, whole food source ingredients, including multivitamin, multimineral probiotic, green superfoods blend, and more that fill the nutritional gaps in your diet. Increases energy focus, aids with digestion, supports healthy immune systems, all without green superfoods blend and more that fill the nutritional gaps in your diet increases energy focus aids with digestion supports healthy immune systems all without the need to take multiple products all right we got you covered man and right now athletic greens is doubling down on supporting your immune system during the winter months although it's summer so that's cool man but you can never get enough for your immune system they're offering you guys a free one-year
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Starting point is 00:37:33 Zoo Culture working out, you see me in the videos I only rock one set of headsets, I only have one freaking company that I use to listen to all my jams or my podcast where I'm listening to when I'm working out and doing doing cardio I'm using Raycons all right whether you're freaking working out riding a bike a pair of Raycons wireless earbuds in your ears can make all the difference look at my ears man I gotta be very particular on the kind of uh earbuds I use
Starting point is 00:37:59 that's why I rock with Raycons they look great feel even better they come in a range of cool colors customized gel tips include for comfortable in-air fit. Again, check out my ears. These are the only ones I can rock all the time. The other companies, those white ones we all know what we're talking about, those fall out of my ears, especially when I'm on my bike. Listen up. Raycon's offering 15% off all their products. For the King of Sting listeners, here's what you got to do to get it.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Go to buyraycon.com slash K-A-T-S. That'll get you 15% off your entire Raycon order. And it's such a good deal, you'll want to grab an extra pair. That's 15% off buyraycon.com slash cats. Buyraycon.com slash K-A-T-S. Dude, is every kid gay now? You can't even find a straight kid, I feel like. It's tough.
Starting point is 00:38:41 It's the new thing, man. Is it? Yeah. Wow. They're confused. You got a lot of thing man is it yeah wow they're confused you have a lot of your friends meatball saying they're gay uh no none none wow you gotta start making friends dude we has friends we're in here straight friends you know but that's it they don't like that anymore if you show up with straight friends people like you're not some comedians
Starting point is 00:39:04 this female comedian the other day said oh i see your crowd it was like a really diverse crowd in uh at in zany's a couple of weeks ago in uh and jamming the van in la okay and she goes that means you're doing your job interesting and i'm like what do you mean i don't care who likes what fuck my crowd's all korean black i don't give a fuck yeah what do you mean i'm doing my job the meanwhile that's a girl that doesn't sell in is not have people come to see her there you go you know and it's like okay you trying to get the per what are you gonna try to get some multi like a united nation she just needs to get some fans that's all that is so it Oh, that's the 32-year-old? Damn me, Bally.
Starting point is 00:39:47 She must be a huge Power fan. No, this was actually... Yeah. No, this was actually before Power took off. This was like the last, not this past Halloween, but the one before that. And she has a child? No. She just got issues.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Yeah. What's this little Philly dove want? Yeah. Nose similar to Theo. Let's call it what it is. A little honeysuckle baby. Hey Brendan. Hey Theo. So I wanted to set the record straight on something and I need your guys' help. What do you guys think about
Starting point is 00:40:22 opening the car door for your lady? Even though you guys have been dating or married for a while. King of the sting it. Love you guys think about opening the car door for your lady, even though you guys have been dating or married for a while? Can you understand it? Love you guys. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Oh, you see how she said buzz? She's boring to me.
Starting point is 00:40:35 That's cool. That's fine. I'm sure your wife will love hearing that. And B, I do open the car door for my woman. That is a true story. I do too. I do it all the time. story I do it all the time Do you do it all the time?
Starting point is 00:40:48 You're not dating that regular I got a real girl I gotta actually open the car door She gets upset if I don't She also makes me walk on the inside of the street Like it's the 50s Oh really? Yeah
Starting point is 00:40:59 I do But also she's closer to the road that way No I have to be oh you're on the no matter where we're walking she'll switch make me walk there I see oh that's smart I think uh this lady seems like a good lady I think you're gonna meet somebody soon probably I would open the door for her I'll tell you that much Nick your girl you open the car door for your girl still yeah I won't like sprint and like make it awkward but like if it's on the way around you can't like sprint around then you just look like a simple choice yeah yeah if it's
Starting point is 00:41:30 convenient yeah sometimes a valet guy do it for you you ever open a door for a girl and she's like you don't think i can do it i'm like all right bitch yeah yeah and guess what you the reason why is because in the old days, doors were extremely heavy. You'd pull up in a Caddy, in a freaking Ford LTD or whatever it is. One of those old school Bel Air cars. Dude, a fucking group of bridesmaids couldn't get one of those doors open, bro. And so that's when you really, when the man needed to do the door. You remember in Bronx Tale, the old thing uh was named chas told him he said what you do is you open the car door for that girl you close it you lock your door
Starting point is 00:42:11 before you get out if she doesn't unlock your door by the time you get around you move on well that's insane i think a lot of guys broke up with their girls and that's horrible advice yeah that's not good it's all come from mafia guy you know especially with key fobs now i mean you're gonna be waiting for a while yeah failed relationships have you not seen the movie though with you bronx tale yeah great if i have is it i'm thinking of what am i thinking of i'm thinking of um good fellas no i want to say like fievel goes west or something think of that but more mafia and real people, not cartoon mice. Yeah, I like that kind of stuff.
Starting point is 00:42:49 Now, is this Aaron Rodgers? This is Arian Rodgers. This dude looks like he is a part of a group from prison, brother. Holy fuck. I thought that was his beard all the way down, but it's a neck tattoo of white pride. That's you, Theo, that you could have that. Praise God. I love this guy already, man.
Starting point is 00:43:08 Brendan, Theo, Chin and Nick. Oh, he's an artist. It's your boy, Chris, all the way down from Melbourne, Australia. Gang, gang, baby. G'day, mate. So today I've got a King It or Sting It. I am a stay-at-home dad. And I've got two beautiful kids. This house arrest.
Starting point is 00:43:28 Wolfie and Nala, age four and two. Great name. And so pretty much my wife will write out a list for me every night. And I've got to complete the list every day. So just for instance, we've got washing, cleaning, mow the lawn. Oh, that means you use Manscaped. Keep the kids alive. That really should be number one as a priority.
Starting point is 00:43:57 But anyway, boys, king it or sting it, stay at home dad. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, keep doing the Lord's work. Let me tell you something tell you something man yeah and this is coming from a jason's deli worker go on who are great people i want to say and jason's deli has good stuff they do have nice stuff i'm not i prefer subway but uh and with two kids when i have those two little bastards on my own it is a beast all day dude oh my god there's no time to yourself you're not watching anything you want to watch you're not It is a beast. All day, dude. Is it? Oh, my God. There's no time to yourself. You're not watching anything you want to watch.
Starting point is 00:44:29 You're not doing shit by yourself. It's all focused on. It's such a beast. This guy has one of the toughest jobs. Navy SEALs, firefighters, cops, him. It's a beast, dude. Two kids on your own is a nightmare. When my girl goes, hey, this Saturday I'm doing this.
Starting point is 00:44:46 You got the kids on your own. I go, fuck. Dang. Fuck. And what do you do? How did you plan ahead so you can have like a better kind of a running start for it? Or what do you do? Yeah, I just take them outside. We do a lot of outdoor activities, swimming.
Starting point is 00:44:59 I take them to a park, ice cream. The little dude will nap, so that gives me two hours to chill. Do you ever dose them up? You ever hit them with any cough syrup or anything man no it's such a beast though what's weird to me is his girl writes a list that would drive me nuts if i woke up to a fucking list every day do this do that do this that's called a honeydew list they call it in a lot of territories especially i think the midwest it's a honeydew list and it means you got a honey-do list. They call it in a lot of territories, especially I think the Midwest. It's a honey-do list. And it means you got to honey-do this for me. Oh, that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:45:29 And so a lot of men have those. I think you're just seeing more of the times where it's just a changing of the guard in some ways. A lot of women want to be in the workforce, and they are now. I mean, we're in the place now where like 20 years ago they wanted to be, you know, like. Stay-at-home moms. Right. And now they want to be women out there brief casing around. You know, I actually asked him, I was like, do you mind if I ask what your wife does?
Starting point is 00:45:52 Because I felt like he was like showing a lot of his house on purpose. It's a nice house. A bit. She's a CEO in Australia. She's a boss bitch. The other thing is, is now like when we were growing up dads like they work nine to five they weren't too engaged with the kids there's dad work provided you have dinner with them that's all you saw them now times are different dads are super involved unless you're a shithead but is that also in the nature kingdom too is that the same thing what's going on in the nature kingdom do the man take care of the hunt animals do the man take care of the baby animals i know in uh for like lions the male lions don't take care of the kids at all they and the female zoo you know on this
Starting point is 00:46:34 great podcast this past weekend we had a uh small a medium-sized animal man on there and he said that some that animals are really violent and raccoons will sometimes, the male raccoon, will show up after the female has babies and kill all the babies just so the female will go in heat again so they can have sex. Oh, wow. What a fucking savage. We don't want to be like that, right? No, no, no, no, no. No, brother. Male marmosets are basically stay-at-home dads.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Oh, that's cool. But also, if you're a marmoset dude. Let me see. Male marmosets are basically stay-at-home dads. Oh, that's cool. But also, if you're a marmoset dude. Let me see what a marmoset looks like. Marmoset. You know them bitches out the gate. You know other animals are like, look at this bitch. Are those those weird-looking fucking monkeys? Monkeys with the Albert Einstein haircut?
Starting point is 00:47:20 Yeah, I'd stay home too, dog. You know what I'm saying, bro? These things look sleep-deprived, homie. I will say that. Those dads are exhausting.'d stay home too, dog. You know what I'm saying, bro? These things look sleep deprived, homie. I will say that. Those dads are exhausting. I'm telling you, man. Being at home with the kids. With the face tats? Take a nap, dog. They look like they're going to go back in time and hit
Starting point is 00:47:35 88 miles an hour. Yeah, they look fucking crazy. They wear makeup too, man. I don't trust these fucking monkeys. Yeah, these boys are on some gigawatts on me for sure uh should we get to cats in the wild yeah all kings stay at home dads but i'm telling you man as a father too it's such a beast i can't do nine podcasts a day i king it i just i certainly support it it's just interesting i wonder if it is the best use of if it's that if it's nature
Starting point is 00:48:06 you know because we we really bend what the laws of nature are our human society a lot smarter than all those stupid ass animals well that's to be debated brendan i don't think so dude dude what has a lion ever invented huh huh a lion yeah nothing dude Have you heard of Lion King? No Have you heard of Narnia? Who was the king? The lion
Starting point is 00:48:34 What did he represent? God Jesus Did he really? Yeah That's such a religious movie C.S. Lewis is a big Christian, everything's an allegory This is my favorite Cats in the Wild of all time Let's do it Yeah. That's such a religious movie. C.S. Lewis is a big Christian. Everything's an allegory. Yep. Oh.
Starting point is 00:48:45 This is my favorite Cats in the Wild of all time. Let's do it. It's a wanted poster, and it looks like it was actually up in a business, and it says, do not serve this man a chili dog, and it is Theo. Let's zoom in on that face. Can we get a better look at the picture? Do not serve this man a chili dog. Oh, my Theo. Zoom in on that face. Can we get a better look at that face? Do not serve this man a chili dog. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:49:08 What was he doing to the chili dog? Ask him. He's right there. That's fucking hilarious. I mean, look, man. That chili, man. I didn't know that. Some people want creamer on them.
Starting point is 00:49:20 That's all I'm saying. Some people want that baby backsplash on them, baby. Let's see. Let's see. Let's see that Tres Leches, bro. Who wants that Tres Leches corn dog, man? Mr. Steal Your Motorcycle. Look at this dime piece, dog. No, I was just parked near it.
Starting point is 00:49:36 I was just standing near it. And then this one, someone says, I went off the deep end and started doing stunts in my backyard. You just got bored in COVID? Jumping onto Dub Tax Printer. This is for juggalos and juggalettes. Do not try this at home, and I hope you like it. Whoop, whoop! Fuck!
Starting point is 00:50:02 That's shit! Whoop, whoop! Oh, fuck! Fuck! That's shit! Oh, fuck! Fuck! And what is this, a gender reveal? This dude's a bitch, I think. Dude, that looked terrible. This kid went viral over the pandemic, basically.
Starting point is 00:50:24 He was putting out one of these a day him just fucking his body up yeah he looks like he got really hurt yeah and this is why this is the this is the young generation man this is what johnny knoxville he is not keto who's he angry at his parents he lives at home yeah that's his parents back there and they're like what the fuck are you building? But hey, man, do what you got to do. Take it to the streets, fam. I'd like to see him do that off a building and hit somebody that's really starting something.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Probably sponsored by Monster now. I'm sure. God. Someone found a picture. Send me that, please. Yeah. Someone found a picture of Chin and his girlfriend. Bro. Someone found a picture of Chin and his girlfriend. Bro, that looks so much like Chin.
Starting point is 00:51:11 Oh, my God. Cats and wild Chin, I need a boo. Who does when I get out alive? Oh, my God. And look at his little leg hanging out of that thing like a little jingle bell. I'm upset he's not here to explain himself. She has her ass cheeks out. I know.
Starting point is 00:51:31 She's thotting, huh? Ooh, chin. Someone found Theo in a sweet potato. Oh, damn. Damn, Doug. That thing is cheeked up, Doug. I brought the same trainer as Theo, man. Watch me whip. Watch me nay-nay, Doug. That thing is cheeked up, Doug. Brother, same trainer as Theo, man.
Starting point is 00:51:47 Watch me whip. Watch me nay-nay, Doug. Doug, remember when she just had you doing fucking lunges all the time to build that ass? Oh, my God. But he's not the only one cheeked up. We may have looked at this guy. Have we? I posted this guy. I said, Thick Boy Bike Club.
Starting point is 00:52:02 That was a year ago, probably. Brandon, look at the balls in his butt. I posted this guy. I said, thick boy bike club. That was a year ago, probably. Brandon. Look at the balls in his butt. Bro, that guy's first team all bike club, bro. You too. That boy is cheeked. Oh, donkey. That dude needs a cheeky-otomy, dude. God dog.
Starting point is 00:52:19 He needs to run that cheek check, huh? Somebody needs to glaze them buns, daddy. I'm not, dude. Now, this one was a reach, but the picture's pretty great. They said they found me posting shower pics. Real talk. That is so nip. Dude, look at his family guy tat on his chest.
Starting point is 00:52:45 My nipples are their wieners. Oh, wow. That's disgusting. That guy looks like a wet chihuahua. Jesus Christ. That dude looks really manscaped, I will say that. Here's Brendan celebrating pride.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Zoom in on that dome there did they photoshop my face no this is just wow it's a lot of makeup wow uh and then we got one Bro That Lizzo Lower body bro How does he find pants God huh How the fuck does he find pants Is he selling it to my brother That looks just like my brother I am not even joking
Starting point is 00:53:38 Is your brother Tony Ferguson That's true I don't think your brother looks ferguson also that guy must squat a busload dude oh my oh my you know how hairy that man is what is he made out of fucking clay those that lower body bro He's that thicky bun, huh? God, dog. Man, can you imagine the glucose in that dude? I mean, that's Tony Ferguson, bro.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Oh, my God. That is Tony Ferguson. And you're welcome. Damn, I could see Tony buying that Rice Rocket, huh? It was a Civic Type R? Yeah. Some Jordan Levs on? God, that guy is
Starting point is 00:54:28 thick. Oh, man. My grandma built like that, man. Is she? Yeah. I'd like to meet her, huh? 98 years old. Let's see her. I don't think she's on the internet. Well, look, man. I'm glad we just know what happened to Dutch Smith. I'd love to know.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Maybe we could put up a thing, too, if we just know what happened to Dutch Smith I'd love to know maybe we could put up a thing too if we just know I just wonder if we were too rude to Stevie but look the ladies have some I don't feel bad for Stevie I feel bad for the ladies yeah they put their hearts out there man and the next thing he comes in here
Starting point is 00:54:59 with a hickey it's like we don't know the guy but you don't know when love is going to strike you Brendan that's fair flew this little Philly dove in from Washington sucking on his neck It's like we don't even know the guy. But you don't know when love's going to strike you, Brendan. That's fair. Flew this little Philly dove in from Washington, started sucking on his neck. Unreal, dude. I just don't like that switcher bait or whatever.
Starting point is 00:55:16 You're telling me that this little thought he flew in from Washington is hotter than that girl from Montana? Dude, all those ladies were, I thought, all the ladies were attracted. Dude, the Yellowstone Long Daddy? Come on, man. And it was an eclectic mix. Yeah. He can't complain. ladies were i thought all the ladies were attracted to the yellow yellow stone long daddy come on man and it was an eclectic mix yeah he can't complain we did our best dude it was collecting he just threw it right in our face it was eclectic mix man we'll have to ask him next time he's in man well we'll have him back in i think also to listen to see i want to see i just would love to hear if he has any post kind of date thoughts.
Starting point is 00:55:46 I don't know. I don't know. I just feel like, I don't know. It left me feeling like things weren't finished in a good way. Maybe I'm crazy. I don't think you're crazy. I feel bad for Nick and Chin. They put all the effort into finding these fucking dime pieces,
Starting point is 00:55:59 and it's not an easy sell. Don't feel bad for Chin. Yeah. Look, his girl is treating him just fine, okay? Yeah. We know what he's into. We do. What do you got, Nick?
Starting point is 00:56:12 We got a couple more King It or Sting It. Ding, gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Just got off work, man. Jumped down this little rabbit hole I found. I want to see if you guys are King It the stinging or the bait club or whatever. Just check this shit out. Fucking slap fights. They're fun to watch.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Oh, man. We get knocked out all the time. That shit is brutal. I know if you guys rewind a little bit, you see Nick in the background. You can see what you've been doing on your free time, bro. But keep it up, man. I love you guys rewind a little bit you see Nick in the background and see what you've been doing on your free time bro but uh keep it up man I love you guys I'm doing a plan on sending this video but that shit's crazy I just wanna know what you guys think Theo look like he getting his slap the shit out of somebody I like that guy oh yeah I do man I want to see that guy slap slap
Starting point is 00:57:03 box some fucking English there's Nick in the back. That's true. It looks like Nick and Chin in one person. I would king slapbox, and it's pretty fucking entertaining. I just don't get how the guys can take it and not get knocked out. And they're so big. They're meaty too. They're meaty boys.
Starting point is 00:57:18 And they slap you with those big dick beaters right across the fucking face. The crazy thing is, do they make them wash their hands first? I doubt it. That's the least of their concerns. Oh, that would be my biggest thing. And what do you win? What do you win? Did you see Logan Paul slap that guy?
Starting point is 00:57:36 No, I don't watch that kind of stuff. God, he slapped the piss out of this kid and knocked him out. Big dude. And he was in a slap fight? Yeah. It was like this slap box thing. He was like, I'll do it. And the big dude, he slapped him so kid and knocked him out. Big dude. And he was in a slap fight? Yeah. It was like this slap box thing. He was like, I'll do it. And the big dude, he slapped him so hard he knocked him out.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Man, I'm telling you, man, them Paul boys are down to fight. You slap another man, it's a fight. You can't be just slapping people. I wouldn't mind seeing a tag team match, though. Ooh, that'd be fun. Would you do it with me? Look how big this dude is. Oh, you missed the slap, Doug.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Oh, I thought Logan was the one that got knocked out. No. I doubt Logan would air that. It's a big boy. They were slapping each other. His face is all red. Boom! Are you sure he's out? Oh, he's out. Yeah, that guy's...
Starting point is 00:58:25 Your body doesn't fall like that naturally. I bet you could do it if you wanted to, if you were doing like a... That'd be tough, dude. Could have been a couple takes too, though. Well, he could also be one of those... Are we flat earthers in here? Oh, that's cool.
Starting point is 00:58:36 Uh-huh. No, I'm just saying the guy... That guy's knocked out. All right. Hayden, it's on you. Okay. Rolling. Boom! he braced a little that would look like i don't know i think that ed looks like it could be stay or not stage i mean i'm not saying that logan a lot of knockouts in my day man that is not fake
Starting point is 00:59:04 well yeah this guy also could have been tired. Who knows? I'm just saying what's going on. You never know what's going on in the world. Diabetic coma. Yeah, easily a guy's sugar could be low. Look at the guy next to him. Might have had a heart attack.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Eating an apple that he probably should have been eating. I love how when you're in a coma, people always give you an apple. Like, what? Like, if you're in a sugar coma or whatever, like diabetic. Yeah. When I was growing up, yeah, people would be like, literally have been hit in a coma, people always give you an apple. Like, what? Like, if you're in a sugar coma or whatever, like diabetic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:29 When I was growing up, yeah, people would be like, literally have been hit by a car. They're like, get him an apple. You know, like, what? In Denver, it's always, get him a banana. Oh, yeah. If you're dizzy, yeah. Oh, yeah. Get him a banana.
Starting point is 00:59:40 People love to hit you with that fruit, man, when you're on the way to the Lord. It's nice. Yeah, it's not bad, man. It makes good sense, you know. Damn, well. That's it's nice yeah it's not bad man it makes good sense you know um damn well that's it brother that's it we're here and we're there we're doing it dog we're looking for the lord baby and jason's deli when can we what uh shop can we see you a new tuna coming out do you real tuna uh-uh real tuna dog uh pittsburgh just got announced. That is in July. I think 10th through the 12th, Pittsburgh Improv. And then is it Rally or Rally?
Starting point is 01:00:12 Rally. Rally, North Carolina, also just got announced. Get your tickets. Pittsburgh, North Carolina, you up, dog? PG, PTL, baby. Come get slapped. Gang. Yep, and I got these dates right here some shows have been added in cincinnati in charlotte we've added over there in durham north carolina chattanooga
Starting point is 01:00:35 you got another one you get a show you get a show knoxville uh wilmington is still available. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania we added. Charleston we added a show. And we also added shows in new cities. Portland, Maine up there in the Black Bear continent. And Burlington, Vermont. I'm going to come and get that coat. So we'll see what we can do. We also added a new one in albany and a new show in
Starting point is 01:01:05 columbus um all dates available theovan.com slash tour make sure to get your tickets through there so they uh the prices aren't all jacked up and uh and i look forward to seeing you uh at the show that's it man we got some great new stuff on the cats merch site wow love that merch that people could check out yeah this really has been our best merch drop i think you know um oh what's up dog look who it is oh my god what's up big dog long time no see brother good to see you man what you doing dog you don't look so good what that's how i look no i meant i meant you look cute. That's how I look, man. That's alright. Is that your merch, that hat? I gotta buy some of those. Thanks, man.
Starting point is 01:01:49 Oh, you can get it at Jason's Deli. Have you been there before? Look at this guy. It'll be at Ross Dress for Less soon. For sure. Stick Boy is going to Tilly's. How have you been, man? Pretty good. His name is Ari Maness too, dude. I can tell when you said man that you did it. Did you you forget my name not at all it's okay if you did no
Starting point is 01:02:09 but do you think you did bad i felt like i didn't think until you said it but then when you said it i'm insecure so i'm like maybe he did i said what are you doing man man yeah yeah uh your name's brendan right i think so call me brandon uh what am i doing the pandemic uh making out with babes Call me Brandon. What am I doing in the pandemic? Making out with babes. Oh. No, Aria is one of the best stories ever.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Dude, we should get Stevie out of here. We find him a love life. No, I got a good love life. I've been making out with babes. That's just it. But you're making out. You're not finding love. And what we specialize in, tell Theo, finding love. Ask Stevie. We have five we had five
Starting point is 01:02:47 dime pieces have you ever seen love this is cats of love five dime pieces five dime how do you find that many dimes they you're looking at the best in the biz bro we are a freaking straight up piggy bank i saw that one episode where you guys put sent uh was it chin on it or was it nick yeah chin the girl with huge knockers and then he drank all the sake charged us 500 and then was like i'm married you're like what the fuck i'll do that i'll definitely do that would love to do that um if you're a playboy you don't need our help no ari tell him tell us about that one date though that remember that lady that you brought to the comedy store at that time we told that story on the last time i was on king oh that's right someone clipped it that's right man how are you meeting girls in the pandemic uh dates uh
Starting point is 01:03:40 i i've been i've actually been seeing a girl kind of seriously. We've been going on probably eight or nine dates now. I just took her to Detroit with my family. Wow. And I met her from just DMing her on Instagram. You just were looking to like her. A lot of people use Tinder or Bumble. Grindr, sure.
Starting point is 01:03:58 Grindr. Farmers only. J-Date. J-Date, yeah. A lot of people. Blacks only. Short kings. Tall queens. I've never heard of those there you go dude but i just uh if i see a cutie i'll just send her a heart on ig or say hey what's
Starting point is 01:04:13 up how are you normal shit normal keep it normal yeah but at the same time they know what it is you know they they've been through it if if you slide into a girl's dm with a heart or a hey how are you they know what that means sure they know if you do anything they know and then it's up to them and then it's up to them especially their dime which is what it's always been is this girl a dime piece yeah oh yeah she's hot she has a great body she does this thing called uh bar have you guys heard of that everyone's heard of that yeah i've never i didn't hear of it. You know what it is? Yeah, you're a fitness guy. Bar. She does bar.
Starting point is 01:04:46 Yeah, a lot of chicks do bar. So she's in shape. What does she do for a job, though? She works at a tech company remotely. She lives with her mom. Okay, that's unemployment. Yeah, she's unemployed. She makes more money than I do, which is anything.
Starting point is 01:04:59 Anything at all. That's everybody who's... That's unemployment. Yeah. That's everybody. True. You're torn comic, that's unemployment. Yeah. That's everybody. True. You're torn comic and comedy's been shut down.
Starting point is 01:05:08 Yeah, I haven't been too much comedy. What about your van though, Ari? Can we throw some pictures of your van up too? Oh yeah, I'll send you guys
Starting point is 01:05:14 pictures of my van. It's coming along real nice. I got the bed built out. Nice. The desk. All that's left to do is the kitchen and the finishing touches
Starting point is 01:05:22 and then I'll be following you guys at whatever cities you guys go to. I'll just be there whether you like it or not. Man, I love it. You got some Battle Born batteries in there too. We went and did a show for those guys. Shout out to Battle Born batteries.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Sean over there hooked it up. And they're a great company and great batteries. I've never ran out of juice. Not once. You just paid for like 12 batteries right there. That read. Yeah, send me more. Send me more, bitches. They're good batteries.
Starting point is 01:05:48 New set. Congrats on the new set, by the way. Thank you. Looks beautiful. Thank you. Looks crisp in here, right? Well, that's it, man. I think that's it. Ari, thanks for stopping in, man. Ari and I are going to go do an episode together. That'd be fun. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Love you guys. Alright, bye-bye. See you, kids. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight.
Starting point is 01:06:06 I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor. I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concert. Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous.
Starting point is 01:06:18 Thicker than girls that are Instagram famous. Damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto. Seeing red like Andrew Santino. Every song I hit like the great Bambino Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos But everything's gonna be fine Hate on me, I do not mind Theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times
Starting point is 01:06:36 They sliding into my DMs A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible. Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible. Brennan's son hit me up. He said it's too loud in the club.
Starting point is 01:06:50 Can you pick me up? King and the sting. King and the sting. King and the sting. Bee sting. Rat king. King and the sting. King and the sting.
Starting point is 01:07:03 Got the bees in a trap. Got the cheese on a string. King and the sting. Outro Music And the track got the cheese on a string

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