The Golden Hour - Episode 126: Switch And Bait
Episode Date: June 18, 2021Theo’s mom calls in once again to have a heart to heart talk with Theo about Steebee Weebee, and the guys talk Steebee pulling the rug out from under them, Facebook fans lig...hting up Nick, Christian and the crew, all new Anonymous Confessions and KATS In The Wild, a surprise visit from comedian Ari Mannis and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hold on.
Legal.
Go back to my boy Dutch Smith, bro.
And let's see what's going on.
Hey, how fake of a name is that?
What's your name?
Dutch Smith?
I get a chicken bake and croissant.
Start Dutch back from the top, bro.
Let's take Dutch off top, dog.
And this is long neck before something happened to him.
Back off my broccolini
Get your life together
Don't touch me bro
I'm not touching you dude
Too much cream in your coffee papa
Too much cream
Too much cream means you like guys
Sorry
Don't let your mom talk shit about me.
I don't like guys, you idiot.
Well, your coffee makes a difference.
Hey.
Hey, Ma.
How's my son?
I'm doing all right.
We're going to do an episode again in a few minutes.
Oh, you're in California.
You move around so quickly.
Well, I hadn't heard from you, so I'm just, you know, I was just thinking about you and
just wondering how you were doing and, I don't know, did you, how do you feel?
What are you, are you washing something, ma?
No, I had something, yeah, there was the sink in the kitchen.
Yeah.
How do you feel, kiddo?
I feel pretty good.
I'm just kind of, we had like a, we had that guy Stevie come in.
Remember him from the.
Yeah, yeah.
And he like had us set him up with some girls.
And then he like kind of lost it.
He like said he didn't even want any girls.
And he already gets a bunch of girls.
He kind of like switched and baited us or whatever they call it yeah bait and switch that's what they call it
you mean that was you weren't filming though huh yeah yes ma'am we were and it just i guess it kind
of threw me for a loop me too yeah well what about brendan i mean did he feel the same way yeah he's pretty mad
he's actually in here right now you can say hey hey mama hey brendan how you doing i'm doing thank
you well i told all kinds of surprises huh i guess mama it just was a shock. Pretty disappointed.
Brennan's disappointed.
Yeah, I am. I'd imagine
both of you are.
I mean, it's really hard to say
if he
if that was his intent
you know.
Or if he just
flew off the handle or whatever
the phrase is.
That's a proper phrase.
Yeah.
No, it's, I agree with you.
So, anyway, I'm going to get, I'm going to.
Baby's a little unstable.
Fuck you!
I got so much pussy in the weekend, I could have a little baby all the way.
What?
So, fuck you guys.
I mean, he's acting that way anyway.
That's a good point.
Yes, ma'am.
I think it could be but um but anyway yeah i didn't
mean to uh i'll call you back a little bit later though after the deal i have a knack of calling
when you guys are shooting sorry no that's okay ma all right love you ma thanks bye mama
wow she seems pretty disappointed herself well i just made a good point though
he might be unstable and we're not thinking about that we're thinking we're dealing with a normal
young 46 year old here yeah yeah i can't tell if we did something wrong i just don't even know what
happened i thought we gave him brilliant options you did did? Brilliant options? The Montana Honey, the Big Moose seemed fun, although she has kids.
The first one was just looking to book.
Then the last one.
Yeah, the third one, Ronald McDonald's daughter.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, these girls are all pretty upset.
I think next time we have them in here, they might have some messages for him.
Oh, really?
Did someone send stuff?
Yeah, yeah.
They just wanted to let them know how they're feeling about the whole situation.
They probably feel bamboozled as well.
You think?
I do.
Dude, do you work at Jason's Deli?
Are you a manager there?
Oh, why do you ask?
Would you like a sandwich?
Dude, you look like a freaking... You look like a totally... You look like a manager at Jason's Deli.
You look like you sell timeshares in New Mexico.
Really?
Yeah.
Dude, look at you right there.
That's your son.
It's a similar logo.
I'll give you that.
Similar colors.
That was y'all's old attire, and that's y'all's new attire.
No, this is the new hair.
That's you when you're not on Kratom.
Yeah, you're right.
I like the collar.
I think keep that for the sandwich shop.
No, definitely.
Dude, you look like a crossing guard at a frickin' all-male gangbang, dude.
I look like I make a mean six-inch.
Yeah, dude.
You look like somebody who sponge bathes old men.
You look like you argue that it's real tuna in Subway sandwiches.
It is real.
That shit's real to me.
My back is brisket.
Your boy did a personal PR of 600.
Go ahead, bring that up.
What happened to you?
Show your mom this, you bitch.
Oh, it's not.
No, I almost blew out my asshole.
Brendan.
And I'm also on that pre-workout.
Oh, you're going to have a trans kid after this.
That's what I said.
Dude, that'll trans your kid right out, dude.
You can't.
That's a hate crime in most states.
Wow.
right out dude you can't that's a hate crime in most states now i could i i could i was pretty crunk i could if that are you guys zoo culture i could not if it was 601 i could not do it really
not a chance that is all i have to give my back is super brisket and what type of uh form are you using is that greek or what is that
i think the romans did that that's your normal roman deadlift i don't think that i don't know
if that form was good what do you think me chunk mold or whatever you had that kid i thought it
was good form i mean once you're brown in my back a tad but what's that heavy you just gotta say
fuck it that kid yeah but how much has that young fella stunted his growth?
And no offense, I know you're right here.
Talking about meatball?
Huh?
Yeah.
Meatball still wants to get on them roids, man.
He keeps talking about it all the time.
Yeah.
When are you just going to start doing it, dude?
I don't know who to get him from.
You don't have access, huh?
No.
Believe me, I'd be on him right now.
I bet Theo knows a guy.
I might know a guy over at Jason's CC Deli.
I was going to say, I don't know if I really trust Theo's guy.
Oh, what's this?
Oh, wow.
Christian.
Oh, he posted himself?
Yeah.
Oh, are you working with Chris Hansen?
He posted himself in the Cats Facebook group after the success of the new segment last week.
Is this on DAPS, Dads Against Predators?
Oh, is this stolen valor with that hockey jersey?
This is a normal picture except his eyes.
You can tell that's 60 MGs of Adderall right there.
Oh, yeah.
Are you on Adderall right now?
I woke up at like 7 in the morning go to the gym so it's starting to like phase out of my system by now and how many milligrams you take this morning 20 if you
hold your breath it'll amp it back up heavy breathing will amp that adderall right up dude
what yeah so did people light your ass up uh, we got a couple of good ones in here.
Let's hear it.
So Travis White says,
you look like the kid who bought a butterfly knife
at the county fair.
Funny.
Not that funny.
Sorry.
And sorry, Travis,
but you knew it wasn't when you put it on there.
Alex Eakin says,
you look like you dropped out of college
to make motivational TikToks from your mom's basement.
Bryce Christian says, you look like a stuntman of college to make motivational tick tocks from your mom's basement. Uh,
Bryce Christian says you look like a stunt man in Brokeback Mountain.
Uh,
Junior Lee says you look like Dustin Poirier with lupus.
Funny.
Um,
like this right here.
You look like, uh,
jeans.
Yeah.
You look like a stunt double for Wade Robson.
You know what I'm saying?
Like that would go like turtle spirit animal from
entourage nice yeah dude you look like a background singer for abercrombie and fitch hit him with that
last one mike godwin says you look like justin timberpond and then um sigurd sigurd ignaxon i
don't even know what the fuck it's is. It's a hard R. Jesus.
He goes, you look like Theo gained a few chromosomes and started dressing like Brendan.
That's good.
Which picture is that for?
That one, for sure.
You think?
For sure.
I think it's tight jeans, Doug, which are now illegal in North Korea.
Mullets, too.
You and I can't go there, Doug. No touring in North Korea. Mullets, too. You and I can't go there, dog.
No touring in North Korea for us.
Dude, look, I'll send one big black guy over there from New York to beat the shit out of everybody in that country.
Okay?
Oh, Nick got lit up, too?
I also did me.
You look like you got kidnapped there, Nick.
It looks like an ISIS video.
You look like Theo just tore into you and they're like, let's get a picture real quick.
Someone said I... There's like I've been held for ransom.
That's fair.
Oh, that's great.
You really do.
That's true.
Yeah, you constantly look like a prisoner of war.
It's always a little dear to headlights.
Everything's new.
Yeah, you look like you got lost in the Rocky Mountains.
They just found you.
Nick looks like the Geico caveman after a sober living program.
Alex McDonough, it's the delivery man.
It's the delivery man.
It is.
Goku Oliveira says, you look like Brendan's cauliflower ear.
It's okay.
That's all right.
It was thoughtful, but it's not that great.
Yeah, it's creative.
Shane Meyer says,
your expression is the same one
everyone has when they open the door
and see Chris Hansen
and not Bieber lover 6969.
Well, this episode's off to a jump.
For a white guy,
you really have the nose of a black guy.
That's fair.
That's a fair point
I've heard that my entire life
You've always had that big nose like that?
Yeah
You think he has a big nose?
You think he does?
Your guy's similar
His nose looks like yours if he got punched in the nose
Everything's relative to Theo
So like no one looks like
Theo has like a
We're similar
Like a bell pepper nose
And yours looks like you got punched
Bell pepper dog? you have theo's
uh nose if he's a boxer that's what dude i got this fucking leg plant wiener right here if you
want it son okay damn dog dude you know what i'm saying bro my dick wears a sandal fam
shannon chapman said this is what the guy in the corner of a cuckold video looks like
fair that's fair that's very good. That is well done. And that concludes.
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here's what i want to say is that did you guys know that elizabeth smart was on the
masked singer really masked dancer no is there a masked dancer that's that's even more low level
than masked singer i i like masked singer the judges are like is it beyonce it's like nah bitch
beyonce's not doing this their guest is like is this tom cruise? It's like, nah, bitch. Beyonce's not doing this.
Their guest is like, is this Tom Cruise?
Like, oh, I'm vibing with that.
I think it is Tom Cruise.
No, Tom's not fucking signing up for this.
Yeah, it's like, here we go.
I would have no idea who that is.
Really?
No clue.
Activist, speaker,
and best-selling author.
My God!
Not a lot of big celebs doing this.
Lil Wayne did one.
I mean,
does this blow
anybody else's mind?
Is this insane?
It's nuts.
It's insane.
They really undersold
who it was,
best-selling author?
No, she was the girl
that was kidnapped in Utah.
Yeah, but is she a celebrity for being kidnapped?
If it would have been Natalie Holloway, that would have been insane.
That would have been cool.
You know what I'm saying?
And God bless her and God bless the Smarts and Beth Holloway as well.
What if they're like, oh, it's Charles Manson.
Yeah, junior.
Yeah.
That would be sick, right?
Oh, it's Pablo Escobar's son.
Yeah. Now we be sick, right? See, that's... Oh, it's Pablo Escobar's son. Yeah.
Now we're talking, dude.
And it's Wablo Escobar, and it's a guy who has one of his legs is shorter.
Yeah.
Like the Waluigi.
Like Wablo.
Yeah, you got to really mix it up, man.
Yeah, you guys got to step it up, man, I think. Who do you think would be a good mass singer or mass dancer?
Mass singer?
You got to go with... Chris D'Elia. Oh. He'd be a good... And he's a good dancer, I think would be a good mass singer, mass dancer. Mass singer? You got to go with some.
Chris D'Elia.
Oh.
He'd be a good, and he's a good dancer, I think.
Yeah.
I don't know if he is.
No, he can dance.
Did you see him on.
America's Got Dancing or whatever.
What is that?
Dance, dance, dance.
No, rap battles?
Dance.
Dance your heart out.
Dance your heart out.
Lip sync battle?
Lip sync battle.
My dad's favorite show.
Disappointing.
Really?
That's his favorite show.
When he told me that, I went, ah, dad.
Well, I can't believe everybody was just so disappointed by the Stevie thing.
That's been haunting me a little.
So I can think about.
I think we were playing a different game.
I don't know if we did him wrong.
That's what I don't know.
I think we set him up with four dime pieces,
and then he came
in with a hickey on his neck and apparently he's getting more tail than ever he's crushing tail
and i thought we saw a different side of stevie we weren't ready for really i heard him shouting
as i was walking i thought man what's stevie on yeah come in and i see you like this what what
he's like i get more pussy than any of you.
Brendan, you don't have to say it.
And that's him right there.
Is this the same video?
I think I'm seeing it.
See, I'm blowing his fucking mind right now.
I'm blowing his fucking mind.
Oh my God.
See how things work out?
See how I low-balled y'all?
You think I was some peasant off the street who couldn't fucking get girls?
You told me.
Fuck you, man.
You fucked you.
I got so much pussy in the weekend, I could have a little baby on the way.
I just love you guys, okay?
You told me.
Fuck you guys.
I can't get enough of this video.
And this is so BLM, dude.
The part about the baby on the way at the end.
I can't get enough of that video.
And then he kept going, oh, I was wrestling with Jeremiah.
I'm like, blah, blah.
What are we doing, man?
What are you doing?
I felt like we were dealing with two different.
I feel like you get Stevie or you get Weeby.
I'm talking about Jekyll and Hyde, dude.
And Weeby is the one who's got the baby and he's in the strip club.
They call him Little Weeby.
Yeah.
Yeah, Little Weeby. the one who's got the baby and he's in the strip club little they call him little weeby yeah yeah little weeby and how about even his caretaker was like oh because out there i'm like craig greg yeah
craig craig i said what's that hickey on his neck he was oh he flew a girl in from washington
they were sucking face sucking dick and then and then he comes in here and he's all oh no nothing
happened came from wrestling yeah you're dead to me craig oh did craig
get lit the fuck up yeah we're gonna wait till he's back in here oh to try it maybe again maybe
not but uh this is yeah this is his picture god he i'm pretty sure i've seen him on daps
i just feel did one of us mistreat was one of us too rude to steve not at all or did we do our best
god i'd be so grateful if i was a single man and you and whoever the guy who was in my chair was like, dude, let us take care of you.
Hook you up with these four dimes.
We'll pay for your date.
We'll fly her out.
Yeah.
Hashtag good guys, man.
Hashtag good guys.
We tried.
We tried, man.
Do people still use hashtags?
Way to go.
You do, obviously.
And so does other people.
I'm sure what's his name does.
Meatball?
Fucking yeah.
Turkey Spleen or whatever that kid's name is.
Let's go.
We finally got the confession out of Stevie that he was already seeing someone,
so we're going to have to confront him.
But other Cats fans sent in some confessions,
and there were some pretty good ones.
The hotline's popping off.
There's definitely some I weeded out because people are clearly lying and shit oh they're talking about killing people you can you
can just or or just like really well listen yeah just the affair is too crazy if you're listening
after a while you know what's up yep yep yep what do you got but this one uh it's pretty good
hey guys i'm calling in with a confession. My work, which is Subway, they've been telling me to just change out the expiration date tags
and replace them with ones that are current and on all the meats and all the vegetables.
And I personally find that fucking disgusting.
So anytime my boss isn't around, I tell the customers about it,
and I tell them to get the fuck out.
And they usually appreciate it and bug.
And now I'm starting to feel like maybe I shouldn't do it
because, you know, I'm probably going to get fired for it.
I'll tell you this, brother, and I'll tell you this straight up.
I used to do this kind of stuff when I worked at the grocery,
and poor people would come in.
Rich people would come in.
I would take their cereal box, and I would scan it like seven or eight times
just for the same box.
Sure.
Poor people would come in, and I would just seven or eight boxes.
I would just let them go by and not scan them.
Good person.
And you do what you can do, and then you get busted,
and then you lose your job.
Now you're out of a job.
Now you're sucking on the government's tit.
You're over there holding one of Biden's nuts.
Now you're looking for the free box.
Right.
And so now you're looking for the free box here.
So, you know, you do what you can.
You try to help here and there.
You know, give a nickel to Randall.
Give a fucking dime to Sharon.
You know, you do what you can.
But at a certain point, people who are going to Subway still at this point in America.
I understand if you're in India or something, you're going to Subway. That's point in America I understand if you're in India
or something you're going to Subway that's a
7 star restaurant
you're going to Subway in America
you ain't looking to live forever
you deserve it
every Subway has a bee on the door
and there's usually a roach holding it up
with one of his arms
it's usually a few roaches holding it like this
it is going downhill since Jared from Subway Sister
allegedly gave me a BJ in the French Quarter back in the day.
What's up, Jared?
Praise God, yeah.
He's in prison, Doug.
Don't worry about him coming after you.
He liked those four-inch rounds, baby.
You know what I'm saying?
And look, man, at a certain age,
you can only mess with six inches or above baby
but uh god bless him and god bless anybody he molested and um and i'm just saying man you do
what you can but you also you got to stay gainfully employed you do you got it you got to do the you
got to do the work man this is what you signed up for you do subway was flying under the radar with
these dark arts of course the meat's old but if someone does order the tuna, you know that bitch got foul.
Then we go, I'm going to get the tuna.
I'm going to get the tuna, daddy.
Yeah, lead them back.
Because we get sick with the tuna.
If it's a nine-day-old cheddar cheese, let it fly, daddy.
But if it's a six-inch tuna, bro, a six-inch tuna that's two weeks old?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got to draw the line.
That's why I draw the line on the tuna, dog.
Sometime if you hit them with that tuna,
you also maybe hit them with a little antihistamine pill
or something that'll take that edge off.
Maybe some antibiotics and a footlong.
Yeah, hit them with that Z-Pak on the backhand.
Yeah, daddy.
I think there's ways to combat it.
Hit them with that doxycycline at the end, slip that.
And if you could call and let your boy know,
I fancy myself a foot-long meatball.
If you just call and let me know if it's real meat
so I can move on with my life, that'd help me out.
Yeah.
Yeah, and so Brendan, obviously, is the type of guy that still eats there.
No, I haven't been in a long time, but I am craving a meatball.
It sounds like you're just craving a ball, homie.
You know what I'm saying so who's the
last person here to eat at subway oh he was you ate at subway no you also get coffee from dunkin
donut don't shit on dunkin dunkin's fire dunkin donuts is the best coffee in america dude thank
you you know who else drinks dunkin isis and you guys aren't american if you're drinking fucking
dunkin that's on record so son. It's an American company.
Where's it based out of?
It's not, dude.
I think it's based out of the East Coast.
It's based out of fucking the Middle East.
It's better than Starbucks.
Let's go to Sheboygan Dunkin' Donuts closes down.
Let me show you.
Coffee.
Let me show you freaking tit homos what's going on here.
The first Dunkin' was opened in Mass.
Here we go, right here.
Where at? Mass. Massachusetts, Quincy. Dude first Dunkin' was opened in... Here we go, right here. Where at?
Mass.
Massachusetts, Quincy.
Dude, Dunkin' Donuts is the subway of coffee.
...is closed following an arson over the weekend.
Police say a teenager is responsible for all that damage.
He's watched 16th's Nikki Cries.
Join us live from the Central Pennsylvania Newsroom with more tonight, Nikki.
Nikki looks sad as fuck.
Julie, a lot of people in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed
because they didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts.
Today we also learned new information about the teenage girl police charged with setting the place on fire.
Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin' Donuts on West Sunbury Street in Shemokin.
The popular donut shop is closed until further notice because of extensive fire damage.
There's a lot of people that's definitely going to miss it, no doubt about it.
A teenager is charged with starting a fire inside the restaurant on Saturday night.
Shemokin police officer Ray Psycho says no one was hurt, but the place had extensive damage.
You're a freaking police officer named Ray Psycho, bro?
Ryko probably turns that body cam off if he catches my trail.
Ray Psycho fucking a few people up.
Turn that camera on my bad.
I forgot to turn that bitch on.
He's the only police officer that has a couple of teardrop tattoos off his left eye.
And a cobweb on his elbow.
Let's go, Officer Psycho officer psycho and this would you get for
why are you staying open on saturday night you're a donut shop you're selling donuts
apparently that's all they had in that city though image psycho says the fire was started inside the
women's bathroom the toilet paper dispenser was lit on fire and within about a minute the entire
place was filled up with smoke.
The mother did explain that she's recently been put on new medication.
That's cyclist.
The 13-year-old who admitted to setting the fire is currently at a juvenile detention center.
Many people who live in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed.
Now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a Turkey Hill or something where I don't like their donuts. I'd rather the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts. Let's get the facts here.
No, Duncan.
Sure.
Okay, quit saying donuts.
Legal word one! Legal word one! Legal word one, hold on. You missed that place, weren't it? all the time if i have any like legal work that i need to do legal work go back to my boy dutch smith bro and let's see what's going how fake of a name is that what's
your name dutch smith i get a chicken baker clearly on the road back from the top bro let's
take dutch off top dog and this is long neck before something happened to him.
Before he got electrocuted or whatever.
Stretched out.
And how many times did that lady say,
Donuts, we need a Turkey Hill Donuts.
We're going to miss the Donuts.
I'm going to go to Turkey Hill Donuts.
Donuts.
I really miss Dunkin' Donuts.
I go there every day.
I get a chicken bacon croissant.
Or I get some coffee.
Powerade if I'm dehydrated. I sit there all the time. If I have any legal work that I go to every day I get a chicken bacon croissant or I get some coffee powerade if I'm dehydrated
I'll sit there all the time
If I have any like legal work that I need to go there I meet with my attorneys there
If they don't open up
And a lot of my friends go in there get the cold coffee
What iced coffee? I guess it's called people miss
What, iced coffee, I guess it's called?
People miss their local hangout and hope Dunkin' Donuts. Hey, what is going on?
Hey, what city is this?
What city's filled with these mutants?
Because I ain't going to the Dunkin' Donuts.
Hey, we got to get Dutch Smith on the line.
There's not a chance that's his real name, Dutch Smith.
Dutch is on the fucking run, y'all.
Figure it out.
He ain't calling it our fucking show.
Look, and here's,'m gonna go this on the
on his uh profile picture i'm gonna say at this point it's kind of a thick chick with two kids
it's gonna be this profile picture i'm just throwing that out there he's a wild there he
is dutch smith what's up that's not him dog lives in shemokin boom well his real name might be dutch
okay avatar very strange oh he's a white rapper?
Oh, let's hear some of his tracks, son.
Maybe he rapped about this Dunkin' Donuts.
Dunkin' Donuts and a corn coffee.
What do they call it?
Ice coffee, cold coffee, ice coffee.
Oh, here he is.
It's called Trust Him.
Ooh, is he a Christian rapper?
We'll see.
And hit it.
He larps.
Live action role play. And hit it. He larps. Live action role play.
Ice coffee Dutch.
My beautiful blossom.
My shrouded wolf.
My dark princess.
That's Edna from Dunkin' Donuts.
Did you get the book?
No.
The production.
I did everything you asked me to.
I made him fall in love with me.
But he always has the book, and he keeps talking about this Jesus. Don't you dare say that name. Well, I don't know what else you want me to. I made him fall in love with me. But he always has the book, and he keeps talking about this Jesus.
Don't you dare say that name!
Well, I don't know what else you want me to do.
Here.
Take this.
Oh.
Make him eat.
And we will weaken his connection between him and his book.
Oh, everybody's grandmother has one of those.
This is religious.
Get the book, and I will set you free.
No.
What happened?
I gotta do this every day. I lose religious. No. What happened? Oh.
I gotta deal with this every day.
I lose sleep every day.
Yes. Hit him. Tell him Dutch.
That's him, right? Yeah, it's him.
Is it him?
Ha.
Meeting with my
attorney.
Ice cold
coffee. Powerade if I'm dehydrated. with my attorney Dunkin' ice cold coffee
powerade if I'm dehydrated
legal effort
so follow his instructions
chat with my attorney
I'm just busting
Dutch Smith
Jamokin'
they torching the Dunkin'
Donuts
I'm so sick of all these breakups
I need to wake up
This is fake love, it must be
Was it love in the right place?
Oh, damn, he's out there trying this broad in the woods.
This shit is illegal.
Big Queen!
Oh, damn.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let's stop this.
I think this might be too much.
Whoa, Dutch.
Can't be grabbing her by the face.
Dutch is getting wild.
Now, I love the suit he has on.
Very medieval.
Well, Dutch is doing it, man.
That's what he's doing.
Yeah.
Body armor of God.
He's a Christian rapper.
I don't know if he's coming on the show.
Well, I'm just amazed.
You can see he turned his life around from that moment when, you know,
that's the burning bush.
Everybody has that burning bush in their life.
That started a fire under his ass.
That's why he's not being there anymore for legal fees.
What did you say there?
I said the burning Duncan instead of the burning bush.
Yeah.
Yep.
That's what we're saying.
And here you go right there.
So there we go, man.
I think we solved everything and now we can go home.
Dutch is doing well.
God.
So what was that guy saying that they changed the date on the meat yeah and he warns people and tells them not to eat there
he's doing the lord's work he's gonna get fired and i appreciate him but it's also subway jared
is subway yeah it's tough that they like if it's tough that they they shouldn't allow the sandwiches
to be sold to children i don't think that should be.
It's like vaccines.
Well, it's like I think at that point, even Jared or whatever.
I don't know what his prison nickname is.
Probably.
I'd love to know it.
Big Jerry.
Big Jerry.
I did hear that he put a lot of weight back on.
Oh, yeah.
But I heard that.
I just think if he's getting to put that still to children, then that's kind of not cool.
At the very least, they should not allow the children to have the meats anymore.
Kids shouldn't even be allowed in Subway, let's be honest.
Like, that's the part.
I don't think you should be allowed around the sister.
That's my personal opinion.
What is it?
Oh, me? Yeah.
Let's go ahead and die. But those are old days, and those are
different times, brother.
Should we hear another confession? Yeah.
What's up, T-Sack K?
This shit guy won't say my name.
Is this Joey Diaz?
This is every murderer
from every Cold Case File
episode, I feel like.
This has to stay anonymous.
Because I don't know if my wife's little brother
hears this or some shit,
but great story.
One time, my mother-in-law dropped her phone
while I was shoveling,
and I found it,
and I went through it.
My mother-in-law's a time piece.
Sure.
And I found some pictures of her in lingerie.
Fired up.
Fire body.
Okay.
50-something.
Looking like she's 20-something.
Yeah, that's a reach.
Got a body on her.
Okay.
And, yeah.
I got those pictures.
Yeah, you sent them to yourself. Shout yourself to my mother-in-law for dropping
her phone she's a baddie all right chief that case take it easy hope y'all have a good one
peace okay different show but still this guy's confused yeah dude i would love to see those
pictures your thoughts here brendan listen my mother-in-law's a smoke show too but i'm not
gonna stare at the pictures that's not what the man is taught it's not what we're that's what the
bit i'm in the same predicament yeah my mother-in-law's a fucking tan bro but if she drops
her phone i'm not gonna text those pics to myself you have some problems amigo tell me this yeah Brendan sorry I forgot your name for a second
do you
if you saw it if somebody said
there's a nude picture of your stepmom right here
would you look at it oh yeah I gotta look
oh because what's it doing on there
maybe I can help her get it taken down
what that's nothing about that what do you mean
what's it doing on there what if somebody has it printed
off on something it's on a piece of paper
well if it's out in the world I'm gonna have to do her a solid get it taken down you know
and i gotta look you wouldn't no i don't believe you no i wouldn't do you hooked up with jared's
sister from subway and you won't look at a picture of a hot mother-in-law you're lying yeah i'm not lying i won't look if it's like if my dad my dad
had a wife i mean she'd be a hundred years old or 120 but i would not look at a naked picture of her
i wouldn't look at a naked picture of like your mom right you know what come on guys take it easy
i would not look at a picture a naked picture of your mom Nick would No I wouldn't Thank you Nick
That was a test
That was a test
And you passed
Because you're a wrinkle hunter
And that kid would over there
Backstrap
Whatever his name is
You talking about
Prime Rib over there
Yeah he'd do it
Wouldn't you
Nah
What's the oldest woman
You hooked up with me ball
Uh
32
Oh wow
I believe that
I'm tired of you saying
He called him out But I was just like That's whack I believe that. I tried to say it and called him out.
I was just like, that's whack.
Yeah, 32.
I mean, go on.
But how old were you when you hooked up?
Were you like 16?
21.
Was it a teacher?
No, just this girl I met at a party through a friend.
Girl is reserved for women who are, you're right, actually 35 and under, probably this girl.
Well, I mean, I'd call her a girl because I met her for five minutes, then brought her back to my apartment, and I was sleeping on a popped air mattress at the time, and that didn't raise any red flags for her, and she didn't care.
Oh, she was down.
Yeah.
Now, does she look like a warlock?
Nah, she's bad.
Okay.
I'll show a picture if we blur out her Instagram name and shit.
Okay.
Sure, we will.
Yeah, we'll do that for you.
Yeah.
We can't, I mean, do we need to see i mean
i would like to see her would you i'd like to see what okay you're right why am i oh that's her no
no no no oh why am i ruining the fun you're right let's see her uh maybe she's a smoke show yeah
we'll wait we'll wait on this this is next that's megan olvie if she got stung by bees i feel like
it's pretty hot this lady is hot i love nose piercings, dude. You do?
Yeah, do you not?
I'll get one.
I feel like you look good with a nose piercing.
What?
Yeah, you look sick, dude. I would look like I should live in a stable if I get my nose pierced.
Dude, you look fucking dope with that.
With your mullet, the nose piercing.
That's you all day.
Get some fucking more bracelets on you.
You think?
Yeah.
Like Piven bracelets.
Look up leather bracelets.
I don't want anything that a bird's going to land on. I also see him with like a flames tat on his neck with that shirt open like that
too dude yeah be careful with brace you wear too many you better know magic yeah i don't want to
get that oh there you go something yeah i feel that's a nashville vibe dude there's some you
can get that you can put people's ashes in that are dead. Ooh.
That's a lot.
That's a lot of bracelets.
You better know magic. Some fucking Native American, but on my wrist only.
That's bullshit.
But also cool.
A little bit of Criss Angel vibe going on.
Yeah.
See, that's the one.
That's a lot.
That's that motorcycle.
No, we don't want that for you.
Yeah.
That's reserved for lesbians and magicians now what about um that is that's for carpal tunnel nick that's actually
that's a wrist brace yeah that's a brace but so that's where you go you got to go less than brace
what about uh what were we just talking about we're talking about meatballs hook up with a 32
year old no i'm over that.
All right.
And that man also has his fingernails painted,
which is popular for children now.
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Dude, is every kid gay now?
You can't even find a straight kid, I feel like.
It's tough.
It's the new thing, man.
Is it?
Yeah.
Wow.
They're confused. You got a lot of thing man is it yeah wow they're confused
you have a lot of your friends meatball saying they're gay uh no none none wow you gotta start
making friends dude we has friends we're in here straight friends you know but that's it they don't
like that anymore if you show up with straight friends people like you're not some comedians
this female comedian the other day said oh i see your crowd it was like a really diverse crowd in uh at in
zany's a couple of weeks ago in uh and jamming the van in la okay and she goes that means you're
doing your job interesting and i'm like what do you mean i don't care who likes what fuck my crowd's all korean
black i don't give a fuck yeah what do you mean i'm doing my job the meanwhile that's a girl that
doesn't sell in is not have people come to see her there you go you know and it's like okay you
trying to get the per what are you gonna try to get some multi like a united nation she just needs
to get some fans that's all that is so it Oh, that's the 32-year-old?
Damn me, Bally.
She must be a huge Power fan.
No, this was actually...
Yeah.
No, this was actually before Power took off.
This was like the last, not this past Halloween, but the one before that.
And she has a child?
No.
She just got issues.
Yeah. What's this little
Philly dove want? Yeah.
Nose similar to Theo. Let's call it
what it is. A little honeysuckle
baby. Hey Brendan.
Hey Theo. So I wanted to
set the record straight on something and I need your guys'
help. What do you guys think about
opening the car door for your lady?
Even though you guys have been dating or married for a while. King of the sting it. Love you guys think about opening the car door for your lady, even though you guys have been dating or married for a while?
Can you understand it?
Love you guys.
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
Oh, you see how she said buzz?
She's boring to me.
That's cool.
That's fine.
I'm sure your wife will love hearing that.
And B, I do open the car door for my woman.
That is a true story.
I do too.
I do it all the time. story I do it all the time
Do you do it all the time?
You're not dating that regular
I got a real girl
I gotta actually open the car door
She gets upset if I don't
She also makes me walk on the inside of the street
Like it's the 50s
Oh really?
Yeah
I do
But also she's closer to the road that way
No I have to be oh you're on the
no matter where we're walking she'll switch make me walk there I see oh that's smart I think uh
this lady seems like a good lady I think you're gonna meet somebody soon probably I would open
the door for her I'll tell you that much Nick your girl you open the car door for your girl still
yeah I won't like sprint and like make it awkward but like if it's on the way
around you can't like sprint around then you just look like a simple choice yeah yeah if it's
convenient yeah sometimes a valet guy do it for you you ever open a door for a girl and she's
like you don't think i can do it i'm like all right bitch yeah yeah and guess what you the
reason why is because in the old days, doors were extremely heavy.
You'd pull up in a Caddy, in a freaking Ford LTD or whatever it is. One of those old school Bel Air cars.
Dude, a fucking group of bridesmaids couldn't get one of those doors open, bro.
And so that's when you really, when the man needed to do the door.
You remember in Bronx Tale, the old thing uh was named chas told
him he said what you do is you open the car door for that girl you close it you lock your door
before you get out if she doesn't unlock your door by the time you get around you move on
well that's insane i think a lot of guys broke up with their girls
and that's horrible advice yeah that's not good it's all come from mafia guy
you know especially with key fobs now i mean you're gonna be waiting for a while yeah failed
relationships have you not seen the movie though with you bronx tale yeah great if i have is it i'm
thinking of what am i thinking of i'm thinking of um good fellas no i want to say like fievel goes
west or something think of that but more mafia and real people, not cartoon mice.
Yeah, I like that kind of stuff.
Now, is this Aaron Rodgers?
This is Arian Rodgers.
This dude looks like he is a part of a group from prison, brother.
Holy fuck.
I thought that was his beard all the way down, but it's a neck tattoo of white pride.
That's you, Theo, that you could have that.
Praise God.
I love this guy already, man.
Brendan, Theo, Chin and Nick.
Oh, he's an artist.
It's your boy, Chris, all the way down from Melbourne, Australia.
Gang, gang, baby.
G'day, mate.
So today I've got a King It or Sting It.
I am a stay-at-home dad.
And I've got two beautiful kids. This house arrest.
Wolfie and Nala, age four and two.
Great name.
And so pretty much my wife will write out a list for me every night.
And I've got to complete the list every day.
So just for instance, we've got washing, cleaning, mow the lawn.
Oh, that means you use Manscaped.
Keep the kids alive.
That really should be number one as a priority.
But anyway, boys, king it or sting it, stay at home dad.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Buzz, buzz, keep doing the Lord's work. Let me tell you something tell you something man yeah and this is coming from a jason's deli worker go on who are great people
i want to say and jason's deli has good stuff they do have nice stuff i'm not i prefer subway
but uh and with two kids when i have those two little bastards on my own it is a beast all day
dude oh my god there's no time to yourself you're not watching anything you want to watch you're not It is a beast. All day, dude. Is it? Oh, my God.
There's no time to yourself.
You're not watching anything you want to watch.
You're not doing shit by yourself.
It's all focused on.
It's such a beast.
This guy has one of the toughest jobs.
Navy SEALs, firefighters, cops, him.
It's a beast, dude.
Two kids on your own is a nightmare.
When my girl goes, hey, this Saturday I'm doing this.
You got the kids on your own.
I go, fuck.
Dang.
Fuck.
And what do you do?
How did you plan ahead so you can have like a better kind of a running start for it? Or what do you do?
Yeah, I just take them outside.
We do a lot of outdoor activities, swimming.
I take them to a park, ice cream.
The little dude will nap, so that gives me two hours to chill.
Do you ever dose them up? You ever hit them with any cough syrup or anything man no it's such a beast though what's
weird to me is his girl writes a list that would drive me nuts if i woke up to a fucking list every
day do this do that do this that's called a honeydew list they call it in a lot of territories
especially i think the midwest it's a honeydew list and it means you got a honey-do list. They call it in a lot of territories, especially I think the Midwest. It's a honey-do list.
And it means you got to honey-do this for me.
Oh, that makes sense.
And so a lot of men have those.
I think you're just seeing more of the times where it's just a changing of the guard in some ways.
A lot of women want to be in the workforce, and they are now.
I mean, we're in the place now where like 20 years ago they wanted to be, you know, like.
Stay-at-home moms.
Right.
And now they want to be women out there brief casing around.
You know, I actually asked him, I was like, do you mind if I ask what your wife does?
Because I felt like he was like showing a lot of his house on purpose.
It's a nice house. A bit. She's a CEO in Australia.
She's a boss bitch. The other thing is, is now like when we were growing up dads like they work nine to five they weren't
too engaged with the kids there's dad work provided you have dinner with them that's all
you saw them now times are different dads are super involved unless you're a shithead but is
that also in the nature kingdom too is that the same thing what's going on in the nature kingdom
do the man take care of the hunt animals do the man take care of the baby animals i know in uh for like
lions the male lions don't take care of the kids at all they and the female zoo you know on this
great podcast this past weekend we had a uh small a medium-sized animal man on there and he said
that some that animals are really violent and raccoons will sometimes, the male raccoon, will show up after the female has babies and kill all the babies just so the female will go in heat again so they can have sex.
Oh, wow.
What a fucking savage.
We don't want to be like that, right?
No, no, no, no, no.
No, brother.
Male marmosets are basically stay-at-home dads.
Oh, that's cool. But also, if you're a marmoset dude. Let me see. Male marmosets are basically stay-at-home dads. Oh, that's cool.
But also, if you're a marmoset dude.
Let me see what a marmoset looks like.
Marmoset.
You know them bitches out the gate.
You know other animals are like, look at this bitch.
Are those those weird-looking fucking monkeys?
Monkeys with the Albert Einstein haircut?
Yeah, I'd stay home too, dog.
You know what I'm saying, bro?
These things look sleep-deprived, homie. I will say that. Those dads are exhausting.'d stay home too, dog. You know what I'm saying, bro? These things look sleep
deprived, homie. I will say that.
Those dads are exhausting. I'm telling you, man.
Being at home with the kids. With the face tats?
Take a nap, dog. They look like they're
going to go back in time and hit
88 miles an hour. Yeah, they look
fucking crazy.
They wear makeup too, man. I don't trust these
fucking monkeys. Yeah, these boys are
on some gigawatts on me for
sure uh should we get to cats in the wild yeah all kings stay at home dads but i'm telling you man
as a father too it's such a beast i can't do nine podcasts a day i king it i just i certainly
support it it's just interesting i wonder if it is the best use of if it's that if it's nature
you know because we we really bend what the laws of nature are our human society a lot smarter than
all those stupid ass animals well that's to be debated brendan i don't think so dude dude what
has a lion ever invented huh huh a lion yeah nothing dude Have you heard of
Lion King?
No
Have you heard of Narnia?
Who was the king?
The lion
What did he represent?
God
Jesus
Did he really?
Yeah
That's such a religious movie
C.S. Lewis is a big Christian, everything's an allegory
This is my favorite Cats in the Wild of all time Let's do it Yeah. That's such a religious movie. C.S. Lewis is a big Christian. Everything's an allegory. Yep. Oh.
This is my favorite Cats in the Wild of all time.
Let's do it.
It's a wanted poster, and it looks like it was actually up in a business, and it says,
do not serve this man a chili dog, and it is Theo.
Let's zoom in on that face.
Can we get a better look at the picture? Do not serve this man a chili dog. Oh, my Theo. Zoom in on that face. Can we get a better look at that face?
Do not serve this man a chili dog.
Oh, my God.
What was he doing to the chili dog?
Ask him.
He's right there.
That's fucking hilarious.
I mean, look, man.
That chili, man.
I didn't know that.
Some people want creamer on them.
That's all I'm saying.
Some people want that baby backsplash on them, baby.
Let's see. Let's see.
Let's see that Tres Leches, bro.
Who wants that Tres Leches corn dog, man?
Mr. Steal Your Motorcycle.
Look at this dime piece, dog.
No, I was just parked near it.
I was just standing near it.
And then this one, someone says, I went off the deep end and started doing stunts in my backyard.
You just got bored in COVID?
Jumping onto Dub Tax Printer.
This is for juggalos and juggalettes.
Do not try this at home, and I hope you like it.
Whoop, whoop!
Fuck!
That's shit!
Whoop, whoop!
Oh, fuck! Fuck! That's shit! Oh, fuck!
Fuck!
And what is this, a gender reveal?
This dude's a bitch, I think.
Dude, that looked terrible.
This kid went viral over the pandemic, basically.
He was putting out one of these a
day him just fucking his body up yeah he looks like he got really hurt yeah and this is why
this is the this is the young generation man this is what johnny knoxville he is not keto
who's he angry at his parents he lives at home yeah that's his parents back there and they're
like what the fuck are you building?
But hey, man, do what you got to do.
Take it to the streets, fam.
I'd like to see him do that off a building and hit somebody that's really starting something.
Probably sponsored by Monster now.
I'm sure.
God.
Someone found a picture.
Send me that, please.
Yeah.
Someone found a picture of Chin and his girlfriend.
Bro. Someone found a picture of Chin and his girlfriend. Bro, that looks so much like Chin.
Oh, my God.
Cats and wild Chin, I need a boo.
Who does when I get out alive?
Oh, my God.
And look at his little leg hanging out of that thing like a little jingle bell.
I'm upset he's not here to explain himself.
She has her ass cheeks out.
I know.
She's thotting, huh?
Ooh, chin.
Someone found Theo in a sweet potato.
Oh, damn.
Damn, Doug.
That thing is cheeked up, Doug.
I brought the same trainer as Theo, man. Watch me whip. Watch me nay-nay, Doug. That thing is cheeked up, Doug.
Brother, same trainer as Theo, man.
Watch me whip.
Watch me nay-nay, Doug.
Doug, remember when she just had you doing fucking lunges all the time to build that ass?
Oh, my God.
But he's not the only one cheeked up.
We may have looked at this guy. Have we?
I posted this guy.
I said, Thick Boy Bike Club.
That was a year ago, probably.
Brandon, look at the balls in his butt. I posted this guy. I said, thick boy bike club. That was a year ago, probably. Brandon.
Look at the balls in his butt.
Bro, that guy's first team all bike club, bro. You too.
That boy is cheeked.
Oh, donkey.
That dude needs a cheeky-otomy, dude.
God dog.
He needs to run that cheek check, huh?
Somebody needs to glaze them buns, daddy.
I'm not, dude.
Now, this one was a reach, but the picture's pretty great.
They said they found me posting shower pics.
Real talk.
That is so nip.
Dude, look at his family guy tat on his chest.
My nipples are their wieners.
Oh, wow.
That's disgusting.
That guy looks like a wet chihuahua.
Jesus Christ.
That dude looks really manscaped,
I will say that.
Here's Brendan celebrating pride.
Zoom in on that dome there did they photoshop my face no this is just wow it's a lot of makeup wow uh and then we got one Bro That Lizzo
Lower body bro
How does he find pants
God huh
How the fuck does he find pants
Is he selling it to my brother
That looks just like my brother
I am not even joking
Is your brother Tony Ferguson
That's true
I don't think your brother looks ferguson also that guy must squat
a busload dude oh my oh my you know how hairy that man is what is he made out of
fucking clay those that lower body bro He's that thicky bun, huh?
God, dog.
Man, can you imagine the glucose in that dude?
I mean, that's Tony Ferguson, bro.
Oh, my God.
That is Tony Ferguson.
And you're welcome.
Damn, I could see Tony buying that Rice Rocket, huh?
It was a Civic Type R?
Yeah.
Some Jordan Levs on?
God, that guy is
thick. Oh, man.
My grandma built like
that, man. Is she? Yeah.
I'd like to meet her, huh? 98 years old.
Let's see her.
I don't think she's on the internet.
Well, look, man. I'm glad we just know
what happened to Dutch Smith. I'd love to know.
Maybe we could put up a thing, too, if we just know what happened to Dutch Smith I'd love to know maybe we could put
up a thing too if we just know
I just wonder if we were too rude
to Stevie but look the ladies have
some
I don't feel bad for Stevie I feel bad for the ladies
yeah they put their hearts
out there man and the next thing he comes in here
with a hickey it's like we don't
know the guy but you don't know when love
is going to strike you Brendan that's fair
flew this little Philly dove in from Washington sucking on his neck It's like we don't even know the guy. But you don't know when love's going to strike you, Brendan. That's fair.
Flew this little Philly dove in from Washington,
started sucking on his neck.
Unreal, dude.
I just don't like that switcher bait or whatever.
You're telling me that this little thought he flew in from Washington is hotter than that girl from Montana?
Dude, all those ladies were, I thought,
all the ladies were attracted.
Dude, the Yellowstone Long Daddy? Come on, man. And it was an eclectic mix. Yeah. He can't complain. ladies were i thought all the ladies were attracted to the yellow yellow stone long daddy
come on man and it was an eclectic mix yeah he can't complain we did our best dude it was
collecting he just threw it right in our face it was eclectic mix man we'll have to ask him next
time he's in man well we'll have him back in i think also to listen to see i want to see
i just would love to hear if he has any post kind of date thoughts.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I just feel like, I don't know.
It left me feeling like things weren't finished in a good way.
Maybe I'm crazy.
I don't think you're crazy.
I feel bad for Nick and Chin.
They put all the effort into finding these fucking dime pieces,
and it's not an easy sell.
Don't feel bad for Chin.
Yeah.
Look, his girl is treating him just fine, okay?
Yeah.
We know what he's into.
We do.
What do you got, Nick?
We got a couple more King It or Sting It.
Ding, gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Just got off work, man.
Jumped down this little rabbit hole I found.
I want to see if you guys are King It the stinging or the bait club or whatever.
Just check this shit out.
Fucking slap fights.
They're fun to watch.
Oh, man.
We get knocked out all the time.
That shit is brutal.
I know if you guys rewind a little bit, you see Nick in the background.
You can see what you've been doing on your free time, bro. But keep it up, man. I love you guys rewind a little bit you see Nick in the background and see what you've been doing on your free time bro but uh keep it up man I love
you guys I'm doing a plan on sending this video but that shit's crazy I just
wanna know what you guys think Theo look like he getting his slap the shit out
of somebody I like that guy oh yeah I do man I want to see that guy slap slap
box some fucking English there's Nick in the back.
That's true.
It looks like Nick and Chin in one person.
I would king slapbox, and it's pretty fucking entertaining.
I just don't get how the guys can take it and not get knocked out.
And they're so big.
They're meaty too.
They're meaty boys.
And they slap you with those big dick beaters right across the fucking face.
The crazy thing is, do they make them wash their hands first?
I doubt it.
That's the least of their concerns.
Oh, that would be my biggest thing.
And what do you win?
What do you win?
Did you see Logan Paul slap that guy?
No, I don't watch that kind of stuff.
God, he slapped the piss out of this kid and knocked him out.
Big dude.
And he was in a slap fight?
Yeah.
It was like this slap box thing. He was like, I'll do it. And the big dude, he slapped him so kid and knocked him out. Big dude. And he was in a slap fight? Yeah. It was like this slap box thing.
He was like, I'll do it.
And the big dude, he slapped him so hard he knocked him out.
Man, I'm telling you, man, them Paul boys are down to fight.
You slap another man, it's a fight.
You can't be just slapping people.
I wouldn't mind seeing a tag team match, though.
Ooh, that'd be fun.
Would you do it with me?
Look how big this dude is.
Oh, you missed the slap, Doug.
Oh, I thought Logan was the one that got
knocked out. No.
I doubt Logan would air that.
It's a big boy.
They were slapping each other. His face is all red.
Boom!
Are you sure he's out?
Oh, he's out. Yeah, that guy's...
Your body doesn't fall like that naturally.
I bet you could do it if you wanted to,
if you were doing like a...
That'd be tough, dude.
Could have been a couple takes too, though.
Well, he could also be one of those...
Are we flat earthers in here?
Oh, that's cool.
Uh-huh.
No, I'm just saying the guy...
That guy's knocked out.
All right.
Hayden, it's on you.
Okay.
Rolling.
Boom! he braced a little that would look like i don't know i think that ed looks like it could be stay or not stage i mean i'm not saying that logan a lot of knockouts in my day man that is not fake
well yeah this guy also could have been tired.
Who knows?
I'm just saying what's going on.
You never know what's going on in the world.
Diabetic coma.
Yeah, easily a guy's sugar could be low.
Look at the guy next to him.
Might have had a heart attack.
Eating an apple that he probably should have been eating.
I love how when you're in a coma,
people always give you an apple.
Like, what?
Like, if you're in a sugar coma or whatever,
like diabetic.
Yeah. When I was growing up, yeah, people would be like, literally have been hit in a coma, people always give you an apple. Like, what? Like, if you're in a sugar coma or whatever, like diabetic.
Yeah.
When I was growing up, yeah, people would be like, literally have been hit by a car.
They're like, get him an apple.
You know, like, what?
In Denver, it's always, get him a banana.
Oh, yeah.
If you're dizzy, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Get him a banana.
People love to hit you with that fruit, man, when you're on the way to the Lord.
It's nice.
Yeah, it's not bad, man. It makes good sense, you know. Damn, well. That's it's nice yeah it's not bad man it makes good sense you know um
damn well that's it brother that's it we're here and we're there we're doing it dog we're looking
for the lord baby and jason's deli when can we what uh shop can we see you a new tuna coming out
do you real tuna uh-uh real tuna dog uh pittsburgh just got announced. That is in July.
I think 10th through the 12th, Pittsburgh Improv.
And then is it Rally or Rally?
Rally.
Rally, North Carolina, also just got announced.
Get your tickets.
Pittsburgh, North Carolina, you up, dog?
PG, PTL, baby.
Come get slapped.
Gang.
Yep, and I got these dates right here some shows have been added in cincinnati in charlotte we've added over there in durham north carolina chattanooga
you got another one you get a show you get a show knoxville uh wilmington is still available. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania we added.
Charleston we added a show.
And we also added shows in new cities.
Portland, Maine up there in the Black Bear continent.
And Burlington, Vermont.
I'm going to come and get that coat.
So we'll see what we can do.
We also added a new one in albany and a new show in
columbus um all dates available theovan.com slash tour make sure to get your tickets through there
so they uh the prices aren't all jacked up and uh and i look forward to seeing you uh at the show
that's it man we got some great new stuff on the cats merch site wow love that merch that people
could check out yeah this really has been our best merch drop i think you know um oh what's up dog look who it is oh my god
what's up big dog long time no see brother good to see you man what you doing dog you don't look
so good what that's how i look no i meant i meant you look cute. That's how I look, man. That's alright.
Is that your merch, that hat?
I gotta buy some of those. Thanks, man.
Oh, you can get it at Jason's Deli. Have you been
there before? Look at this guy. It'll be at
Ross Dress for Less soon.
For sure. Stick Boy is going to Tilly's.
How have you been, man?
Pretty good.
His name is Ari Maness too, dude.
I can tell when you said man that you did it. Did you you forget my name not at all it's okay if you did no
but do you think you did bad i felt like i didn't think until you said it but then when you said it
i'm insecure so i'm like maybe he did i said what are you doing man man yeah yeah uh your name's
brendan right i think so call me brandon uh what am i doing the pandemic uh making out with babes
Call me Brandon.
What am I doing in the pandemic?
Making out with babes.
Oh.
No, Aria is one of the best stories ever.
Dude, we should get Stevie out of here.
We find him a love life.
No, I got a good love life.
I've been making out with babes.
That's just it. But you're making out.
You're not finding love.
And what we specialize in, tell Theo, finding love.
Ask Stevie. We have five we had five
dime pieces have you ever seen love this is cats of love five dime pieces five dime how do you find
that many dimes they you're looking at the best in the biz bro we are a freaking straight up piggy
bank i saw that one episode where you guys put sent uh was it chin on it or was it nick yeah
chin the girl with huge knockers and then he drank all the sake charged us 500 and then was like i'm married
you're like what the fuck i'll do that i'll definitely do that
would love to do that um if you're a playboy you don't need our help no ari tell him tell us about
that one date though that remember that lady that you brought to the comedy store at that time we told that story on the last time i was on king oh that's
right someone clipped it that's right man how are you meeting girls in the pandemic uh dates uh
i i've been i've actually been seeing a girl kind of seriously.
We've been going on probably eight or nine dates now.
I just took her to Detroit with my family.
Wow.
And I met her from just DMing her on Instagram.
You just were looking to like her.
A lot of people use Tinder or Bumble.
Grindr, sure.
Grindr.
Farmers only.
J-Date.
J-Date, yeah.
A lot of people.
Blacks only.
Short kings.
Tall queens. I've never heard of those there you go dude but i just uh if i see a cutie i'll just send her a heart on ig or say hey what's
up how are you normal shit normal keep it normal yeah but at the same time they know what it is you
know they they've been through it if if you slide into a girl's dm with a heart or a hey how are you they
know what that means sure they know if you do anything they know and then it's up to them and
then it's up to them especially their dime which is what it's always been is this girl a dime piece
yeah oh yeah she's hot she has a great body she does this thing called uh bar have you guys heard
of that everyone's heard of that yeah i've never i didn't hear of it. You know what it is? Yeah, you're a fitness guy.
Bar.
She does bar.
Yeah, a lot of chicks do bar.
So she's in shape.
What does she do for a job, though?
She works at a tech company remotely.
She lives with her mom.
Okay, that's unemployment.
Yeah, she's unemployed.
She makes more money than I do, which is anything.
Anything at all.
That's everybody who's...
That's unemployment.
Yeah.
That's everybody.
True. You're torn comic, that's unemployment. Yeah. That's everybody. True.
You're torn comic
and comedy's been shut down.
Yeah,
I haven't been too much comedy.
What about your van though,
Ari?
Can we throw some pictures
of your van up too?
Oh yeah,
I'll send you guys
pictures of my van.
It's coming along real nice.
I got the bed built out.
Nice.
The desk.
All that's left to do
is the kitchen
and the finishing touches
and then I'll be
following you guys
at whatever cities you guys go to.
I'll just be there whether you like it or not.
Man, I love it.
You got some Battle Born batteries in there too.
We went and did a show for those guys.
Shout out to Battle Born batteries.
Sean over there hooked it up.
And they're a great company and great batteries.
I've never ran out of juice.
Not once.
You just paid for like 12 batteries right there.
That read.
Yeah, send me more. Send me
more, bitches. They're good batteries.
New set. Congrats on the new set, by the way.
Thank you. Looks beautiful. Thank you. Looks
crisp in here, right?
Well, that's it, man.
I think that's it. Ari, thanks for stopping in, man.
Ari and I are going to go do an episode together.
That'd be fun. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
Love you guys. Alright, bye-bye. See you, kids. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight.
I got to go in and go hard in the paint.
I do not think I am in flow.
Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go.
I need a sponsor.
I am a monster.
About to open up with this at my concert.
Flow is contagious.
Brows are outrageous.
Thicker than girls that are Instagram famous.
Damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto.
Seeing red like Andrew Santino.
Every song I hit like the great Bambino
Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos
But everything's gonna be fine
Hate on me, I do not mind
Theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times
They sliding into my DMs
A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em
Quit playing like Nintendo DS
You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz
Meaning y'all edible.
Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible.
Brennan's son hit me up.
He said it's too loud in the club.
Can you pick me up?
King and the sting.
King and the sting.
King and the sting.
Bee sting.
Rat king.
King and the sting.
King and the sting.
Got the bees in a trap. Got the cheese on a string. King and the sting. Outro Music And the track got the cheese on a string