The Golden Hour - Episode 137: Time Stamp That

Episode Date: September 3, 2021

The guys talk Jake Paul vs Tyron Woodley, SteeBee's upcoming farewell ceremony for his butt sex toy, Erik Griffin's Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme story, a KATS Karaoke challenge a...nnouncement, ESPN airing a fake high school football team game, all new KATS In The Wild, a potential Jake Paul fighting promotion and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Don't bring your kids to Vegas. It's not for kids. This ain't a kid's place. No, it's not. It's an adult playground. You are selfish when you are walking around a casino with your six-year-old thinking you're doing something. You're there for you.
Starting point is 00:00:11 And people are smoking. Yeah. Get out of here, man. There's also whores everywhere, bro. There's that, which is why we go. Am I right? Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz. Back off my broccolini. right? Back off my broccolini.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Get your life together. It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. What's up? You got a new dog, Stevie? Yeah, this is my dog, Chewy. You can't just rename somebody's dog.
Starting point is 00:00:42 No, his real name is Chewy. Oh, it's Chewy. That's his original name? Yeah, Chewy for short. Great dog is Chewy. Oh, it's Chewy. Is that his original name? Yeah, Chewy. Yeah, Chewy. Chewy for short. Great dog. Chewy. Yorkshire Terrier.
Starting point is 00:00:48 How can you, have you guys seen the thing with the dogs talking? They're hitting the buttons and talking to their owners. Oh, I saw that on YouTube. This is huge, man. And it's real? Yeah. It's a real thing. So they train them where like, so they have a button like this button.
Starting point is 00:01:02 And when the dog paws the button, say one of them is like, treat, treat. Or I'm hungry. And it says treat. And so then you train them by giving them a treat. And then you make them press another button for pet. And then you pet them every time they do it. It's voice recognition technology. And then they go boom, boom, boom, boom.
Starting point is 00:01:18 And then they start to like, so this dog was talking to its owner like, outside, danger, boom, boom, boom. And then like. Please send help. No, but it was like. Yeah. The girl had a thing where the dog had a splinter and the dog basically let the owner know,
Starting point is 00:01:35 something's wrong with me. You know what I mean? And then she figured it out. Dude, that's nuts. Dog's like, blue balls, blue balls, blue, blue balls. Yeah, yeah, that's the one I saw. The dog's going to be like, where are my balls? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:45 You took my balls, you evil fucking bitch. She's like, okay, let's not do this. Weren't they doing that with dolphins? I thought dolphins for a while were doing that shit. They're pretty smart. Oh, yeah, they're highly intelligent. Also, shut the fuck up, dolphins. It'd be funny if you got a really racist dog or something, or he's just sexist.
Starting point is 00:02:04 I'd be like, I knew it. You fucking knew it. That'd be Theo's dog. You know what I mean? That'd be one button with an ER on it. But it was pretty amazing, though, honestly. This is it? Yeah, that's the one I saw.
Starting point is 00:02:21 That's one of them. That's my one-year-old sheepadoodle. Had her in my life for just about a year. Yeah, this is amazing. She's a very thoughtful dog. Talking constantly with her. Be able to communicate with her. This is Portland?
Starting point is 00:02:34 Yeah, there it is. Yeah, there you go. Holy shit. What do you hear? There's a big barge going by. You see what I'm saying? That's amazing. Bunny has been using buttons to communicate with me since she was eight weeks old.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I love you. I love you, too. Oh, wow. It's insane, right? You don't think he's mistaken? No. No, man, because it's certain things, man. That's a bird.
Starting point is 00:03:02 So they're talking about this technology. so so they're talking about this technology they're talking about this technology being able to use to like get to a point where a dog can let you know where it's hurting or something damn because that would be like you know when things happen with dogs they don't know that's the tough part about what you never know they have to just assume and kind of guess and you don't know what's going on you know with babies too right yeah no idea what's going on no one's no idea what's going on so this is like too, right? Yeah. You have no idea what's going on. You have no idea what's going on. So this is like a really amazing, like this is the future, man. This is a weird crossover.
Starting point is 00:03:28 You ever seen the Rick and Morty episode where Rick designs that thing so the dog can talk and then they give it a battery pack and then the dog starts, like it helps his brain out. Next thing you know, the dog's just like in a full robot outfit. He's like, you took my ball. He's like, do you think I want that? Yeah. He's in the middle of the of night he just walks up as a robot he's like who cut off my balls she's like what that would be the first thing any dog would say hell yeah they'd be like well you aren't helping everybody your red rock was all over the place but now they take they what they do for the dog so it doesn't
Starting point is 00:04:02 feel like they're missing their balls, but who knows? They need to talk to a dog who can talk. They put in the fake plastic balls so it looks like they still have nuts. Yeah, but that's not what they – it's not a cosmetic thing. No, the dog's like, what the fuck? The dog's like, I can't. I got two implants. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Are they like jelly beans? Like how big are the balls? I think you can pick, like titties, like double Ds, C cups. Okay, they're like ping pong balls. Ping pong balls. Oh, I forget. Yeah, like ping pong Ds. I know, just like- Yeah, but those Bulldogs have some nuts on them, bro.
Starting point is 00:04:31 See, look at that. There you go, dude. See, that's a big nut, dude. That's a fat ass nut. Why is it making me feel bad about ping pong? That's bigger than a ping pong ball, dude. That's a little pebble on the right. That is pretty extensive.
Starting point is 00:04:41 That's a goddamn tennis ball. I want clownish, double Ds. I want my dog having big, yeah, double D tits out the back, man. Like Sam Cassell in the playoffs. Oh, they blur that out. Oh, him doing that gesture is too much. That's one ball? That's his one ball?
Starting point is 00:04:59 He was just. He was just because he hit a big shot, so he's like, I got big cojones. Damn, he's got a big ball, dude. This guy had a dog-related king-it-or-sting-it for us. All right, well, let's hit it. Yeah, got a king-it-or-sting-it for you guys. Bringing your dog to the workplace. Is it fun, or is it annoying as hell if you get a shitty dog there?
Starting point is 00:05:21 Let me know. Well, I mean, he already said. He already laced the question with what we all think anyway. It's like if you have a shitty dog. If it's a bad dog, like pissing on the walls. It depends on the work, too. Like Chewy's just, this is what Chewy does. Chewy's fine.
Starting point is 00:05:38 You can bring Chewy whenever. But if it was like chewing on the couch and shit and barking at everybody, you know what I'm saying? Or we're all scared. You bring a fucking pit bull in or some shit, everyone's all scared of them. I was a hypocrite too because I was like, keep your dog at home. They're fine. I hated people who said their dogs have anxiety.
Starting point is 00:05:55 But Chewy really has anxiety and he has to come with me. He does. He comes from a rough background. When I first ever went on the road, my first road gig was I was working for Tribble. The Tribble runs. This guy Dave Tribble out of Montana. So I had to fly to Utah in the headliner. We got in his car, and he brought a boxer.
Starting point is 00:06:16 That's not good. That's a small dog. Yeah, it's a boxer. So we drove all over in Montana with this sweet dog. But boxers have huge anxiety, man. And they're active. Oh, man. They want to play.
Starting point is 00:06:28 Well, all of them, you're generalizing. All boxers? All boxers. They're known for having a lot. I used to have one. Really? But they're called the comedians of dogs, though. Yeah, because they're silly?
Starting point is 00:06:37 Yeah, they're goofy as hell. And they're boxers because they do box. They'll come and hit you in the face. Like, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. But they love kids. And they'll just be like, you know. But it's like, to me, it's a lot. I'm not a fan of dogs. I'm not a fan of just dropping a dog on somebody with no notice.
Starting point is 00:06:54 No. I don't like that. No. One time we had a scare at the house. This was five years ago. We had a scare at the house where someone broke in. And I was like, oh, I freaked out because I was going to Australia on tour.
Starting point is 00:07:08 So I was leaving my family for two weeks. So I was like, we got to do something. We got guns. And that one called my boy who's like in the Special Forces. He's like, bro, you just need a Malinois. He's like, I'll take care of it for you. So I'm like, cool, where's it at? It's like Northern California. I drive up there. I get this dog. I talk to the trainer. I'm like, now this dog
Starting point is 00:07:24 only speaks German. If you say something else, it's going to have problems. I'm out. No, I was like, hell yeah. But my girls never owned a dog before, so I dropped this fucking zero dark 30 dog at the house. How big was it? Fucking big, dude. Only speaks
Starting point is 00:07:40 German, but just a straight killer. And my girls never had a dog, doesn't like dogs. And I'm like, no, he's going to protect you while straight killer. And my girl's never had a dog, doesn't like dogs. And I'm like, no, he's going to protect you while I'm gone. How does a dog know? You can't just drop a... I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking idiot. So you came back, your family was eaten.
Starting point is 00:07:54 No, I fly to Australia, right? And I have like a thousand missed calls from my girl. So I listen to the voicemail and you just hear, Ro, Ro. She's like, help, help. It's mining the kids. Oh, my God. Of course.
Starting point is 00:08:08 What did you do? You hear my girl being like, Unstaza. Unstaza. I'm like, holy shit. Nine. Nine. I'm like, that was a bad idea, and that's my fault.
Starting point is 00:08:16 That's my fault. You just dropped Hitler off at your house. Oh, bro. He was fucking jacked. What'd you end up doing with the dog? I kept him for a long time after that, and then I gave him to a police sergeant. That lives close to me, so I still see the dog all the time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I fucked up, man. Yeah, dude. I panicked. I panicked. That dog was not cheating. You got to do some research next time, man. Yeah, I panicked. You got to meet the dog.
Starting point is 00:08:40 He'd make like an alligator moat around his place and just be like, okay, good luck, everybody. He'd be like, can't you just have a wild-ass beast drop off at your house? This thing was such a savage. Yeah, it only spoke German. If you gave it the wrong command, it was fucking on, man. Yeah, my girl's like, I've never owned a dog before, though. I'm like, well. And the dog probably picked up on everybody's fear.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Oh, yeah. Their dog was like alpha in that house. Give me some food, bitch. It didn't bite? It got excited and just nibbled at my son. And my girl didn't know dogs. She freaked out. But I have a picture of Tiger and the fucking schnauzer dog.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Just that beast of a fucking Navy SEAL dog, and they're both laying on the ground. My son's staring at him like this in the picture. Yeah, yeah. I didn't trust him. I think pit bulls get a bad rap. I love pit bulls. Pit bulls get a bad rap.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Oh, they're loving it. They're actually very loving dogs. They're great dogs. They're great humans. They can be a little dog aggressive, but with humans, there's not a better dog. Yeah, and I love seeing a picture of a little baby and then two giant pit bulls.
Starting point is 00:09:49 And they protect them. Or you see the baby sleeping. The pit bull guards the baby. I think pit bulls are like, I want to get a dog. But my girls like to go get their dogs. Pit bull at the shelter, man. I ain't saving. They're the most calmest dog.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Because he's not poor. What does that have to do at the shelter, man. I ain't saving. Hey, come on. They're the most calmest dog. I'm getting a fresh new dog. Because he's not poor. He's not poor. He's not poor. Wait, what does that have to do with being poor? I'm getting a fresh new dog. Oh, if you're allergic to them, you can get like golden doodle and stuff
Starting point is 00:10:14 where they're not hyper. That's what we're looking for. Yeah, I think a Rottweiler is a- No, they shed, don't they? No, I think they're- There's like golden doodle. Well, I looked up the thing. I looked up the-
Starting point is 00:10:23 Hyper- Hyperallergenic. Yeah, dogs. And I think Rottweiler is one of them. I hope it is up the thing. I looked up the hyperallergenic. Yeah, dogs. And I think Rottweiler is one of them. I hope it is. I want a Rottweiler. I think if you go to the right breeder, they can make hyperallergenic most things. You should save a dog, dude.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Save one. Oh, here we go. Don't go to a breeder, man. Save a dog. And if you do save a dog, that's the first thing I want to tell you When you get to the dog park It's a rescue Yeah What else you do
Starting point is 00:10:48 Yoga This guy This is my I made good life choices dog Yeah Yeah This guy also He wanted to shout out
Starting point is 00:10:55 His dog's name is Kuma And he's a coach At Bill Algeo's MMA gym In Pennsylvania I knew something was up Cause he's like Kiersten
Starting point is 00:11:02 Bringing dogs to work Wait this guy right here? Yeah, yeah. He looks like MMA guy, huh? Yeah. Check the ears. Or the shirt. It looks like an MMA shirt.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Yep. All right, next one. You guys never kinged it or stinged it? I'm half and half. He kind of said it, though. It's like, if it's a shitty dog, don't bring it to work. I'm just trying to stick to protocol. What else is weird is...
Starting point is 00:11:23 Yeah, I appreciate you sticking to the – So what is it? You're kinging it? I know you're kinging it. Yeah, yeah, king it. Yeah, depending on the environment. I'll king it if it's a good dog, but I'll sting any animal on a plane. Remember for the longest time, finally, the TSA was like,
Starting point is 00:11:35 hey, quit bringing your goddamn golden retriever on the planes. Any animal? Some bitch came out with a turkey. Yeah, but they have those – But they have those – They have those like – These are a doctor's note. Yeah. This is with a turkey. Yeah, but they have those, they have those like, oh, this is a doctor's note. This is my comfort turkey
Starting point is 00:11:49 or whatever it is like that. Some bitch really tried to bring out a big ass turkey. That's crazy. I wish you could have like a comfort extra girlfriend. What if your doctor's note was like, you need a side piece. Dude, bro. Dude, let me know. You know your was like, you need a side piece? Dude, bro. Bro.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Dude, let me know. You go to your girl like, but the doctor. I'm like, doctor said, you know what he said that's going to actually help our relationship? I'm just kidding, Rachel, in case you're watching. I'm not. It's a brilliant idea. If there's a doctor out there, you're right to know. You weren't lying, Brandon. Yeah, yeah.
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Starting point is 00:15:16 like yeah they said for my mental health i need a girl with a blowout ass a what a blowout ass. A what ass? A blowout. The BBL. Stevie's all, I got one. Yeah, right, I do. Hey, are we going to do that ceremony, guys? The send-off? Yeah, we got to do it.
Starting point is 00:15:35 We'll do it before next week. We'll do it before the show, and we'll play it on air. I can bring my butt? Of course. Yeah, bring the butt. Always welcome. Oh, we'll put it right there in the middle of the table, bro. We have to bring gloves.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Should I put it in a Ziploc bag? I want to be sanitized. Just knowing Steve's been in it, it's going to be kind of weird. Hey, been in it a bunch. Eric, really think about what you're about to say. Watch your words. Just watch your words. That's all I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:15:56 You've been in it. Watch your words. And now here's the thing, Steve. You know it's going away next week, so that butt's like, here we go. Let's talk about it. Hold on. It's sanitized? When's the last time you gave it a
Starting point is 00:16:06 thorough clean i'll shampoo it and i'll put it in a ziploc bag right you can pretend that that fake ass doesn't have covid and you're bringing in here that covid bomb ass bro ask me again now i now all i have is a visual of steve in the shower with the butt and he's just got it like wait like a football he's got like shampoo and he's going like this. I'll dab it. Dude, I'll soap it up, dude. I respect you. Blow dries it. I'll do it for you guys. Yeah. So I'll wash it with shampoo
Starting point is 00:16:33 and soap. Okay. Oh, nice. And then I'll put it in a Ziploc bag, huh, Nick? And we'll bring hazmat suits for everyone. You don't have to do that. It's going to be clean. Tongue. It's going to trigger Theo if he sees that ass, but me and Eric are cool with it. Well, I'll put it in a shoebox, right? We could have flowers in the shoebox.
Starting point is 00:16:48 A shoebox? How big is it? I didn't get a big enough ass fitting in a shoebox, my man. It's pretty big, dude. You're going to bring a briefcase. Steve's butt and the way he also measures dicks is the same thing. Sandwich. It's all the same.
Starting point is 00:17:01 It's like this. It's a sandwich. It's a fat ass double whopper. No, I was referring to Theo being that. You guys think I'm kidding. This is the black butt. Word around town is he's got the biggest penis in the comic community. Brandon, give him some love there.
Starting point is 00:17:18 I'm sure he's packing some. Big. There's some big dicks out there, man. I didn't know there was a website for this. I've heard him say he's got that short round. There's no short round. There's no short round involved in this.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Okay, I'll bring it next week. Okay, no problem. This guy's got a king in his singing. What's going on, Brennan and Theo? Or Brennan and Stevie? Or Brennan and Stevie? Or Brennan and Griffin? Man, I can't keep track anymore. Hey, me neither, buddy.
Starting point is 00:17:50 I'm exhausted. Go ahead. Y'all keep changing co-hosts as much as most people change their underwear. But anyway, I got a king in this thing for you. I think Jake Paul should start his own fighting league. What do you think? Me personally, I think a lot of fighters would jump ship and go over to his league. Especially if he's paying as well as he paid Anthony Taylor for sparring.
Starting point is 00:18:11 He's like the modern day Robin Hood. He's stealing the money out of Big Daddy Donald's pockets and giving them to the fighters. Me personally, I think a little competition is healthy. Let me know what you think. Oh, Jake Paul, if you see this and you like my idea, I like 10%, bro. I got a lot of miles to feed. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Starting point is 00:18:33 I wonder how many times it took him to film that. He could probably like... It was rehearsed. It just felt like that was take number 10. It was definitely rehearsed. And he's probably like, just fuck! Go again! Damn it! And his wife's like, calm down, calm down.
Starting point is 00:18:46 It's just a show. It's a comedy show, babe. How'd you know that? You can tell. It doesn't feel. His wording? Yeah. It doesn't feel natural?
Starting point is 00:18:53 No, it sounds like he did that 20 times before. He finally got it. Because he's not enthused. Yeah, yeah. He's like, all right, fellas. Or he's reading it off cue cards or something. No, he didn't go that far. No, he didn't go that far.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Well, in terms of this Jake Paul thing, first of all- Let's review the fight, by the way. Well, I didn't see the fight. You didn't see it. You saw it? I saw the recap. So you didn't see it either. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:14 I didn't see it either. I saw the replay. But would you- Well, I saw Tyrone. He landed a big shot. He landed a big shot of the fight. He landed a big shot against the ropes. He almost downed him.
Starting point is 00:19:22 Yep. I don't know. I mean, I'm not into fighting. It's too violent. I just don't like the violence of it. And I just always think of Muhammad Ali and how he was in his later life. Yeah. And even like Evander Holyfield.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Even like all these guys, all these fighters, you see them and how they talk and what's going on. Now they're using the buttons the dogs use. Yeah, yeah. He's like shit shit there need there needs to be weight classes though wouldn't you agree i mean he looks so much bigger uh he's got had like 30 35 weight classes but here's the thing with jake paul in his own fight league so you know he he paid those other fighters good there's a reason i mean dana could pay the fighters more but when you get into making the sausage and you go through the numbers,
Starting point is 00:20:06 it's going to be a beast, man. Like, I know he wants to pay everyone fairly and stuff like that, but once you really get into it in the production and renting the arenas and then you realize, oh, damn, this is going to start taking up my pocket, he's going to be singing a different tune. What does it have to do with weight classes? They have weight classes, though. But he was a way bigger guy than Tyrone Woodley.
Starting point is 00:20:25 Yeah, but that's a— He had like 40 pounds on him. I know, but that's an exhibition fight. He had some pounds on him. That's an exhibition fight, yeah. It wasn't a real fight in the sense of like a sanctioned fight. And he's making that kind of paper doing that? Okay, well, this is the point I'm trying to make.
Starting point is 00:20:37 He made millions, dude. Yeah, because people bought it, though, Stevie. That's his market value. So it's an exhibition bout, but— Against a guy who has a lot more experience. Like, his advantage... Who has more experience? Woodland. Not even close. Yeah, but he can do takedowns
Starting point is 00:20:51 or jiu-jitsu or elbows. Even in boxing, but just in fighting in general, he has, you know, 10 times the experience he does. I just think the weight has a... It's a big deal. I know, but it's an exhibition bout. Yeah. If he goes into more professional fighting, it's gonna be way closer. So if he has 125 pounds and the guy's 200 pounds and it's an exhibition,. Yeah. If he goes into more professional fighting, it's going to be weight class. So if he was 125 pounds and the guy's 200 pounds and it's an exhibition, is that fair?
Starting point is 00:21:09 You know? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Because if it was a pro fight and it's 12 rounds, they're not going to let that fly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many rounds?
Starting point is 00:21:17 Eight? It was an eight-rounder? Eight rounds, yeah. They had to weigh in the same weight. Okay. They had to. They did? They both weighed in 190.
Starting point is 00:21:23 They did? Yeah. Okay, I didn't know that. So Jake's just taller. That's probably what you're seeing. He's a little bigger though too, dude. He's way bigger. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:29 I mean, he's bigger for sure, but they both weight. But he's cutting weight for that. But that happens in the UFC, Stevie. Yeah. There's certain guys that, if they cut to, like Darren Till used to fight at 170.
Starting point is 00:21:38 What did he cut down from? I always wondered that. Probably 210. He cut that much weight? Made 170. So is that all water weight like because i used to wrestle we used to there's a lot of water weight but there's a lot to it like anthony johnson rumble johnson used to fight 170 walked around 220 230 that's that's one of the
Starting point is 00:21:55 craziest ever weight cuts yeah is there a method to the madness like yeah so they i mean but but sometimes like guys who cut a ton of weight then they don't perform. It's too much weight. Oh, draining. And they feel like shit. And I really believe in being dehydrated, you're more likely to get knocked out. Oh, 100%. Because you don't have as much fluid in your brain. 100%.
Starting point is 00:22:13 Yeah, I don't think it's good. But it's hard to get rid of. There's no real reason. I think that what all these fighters should take from Jake Paul is being your own brand. And I think that that is the thing that we're moving towards. Because what Logan and Jake have done, I think that they're very serious about fighting and they take it very seriously.
Starting point is 00:22:35 But the thing they also take seriously is their marketing themselves. And that's what he did. And it's like all these guys should have social media. And this is the new age like you look at the NBA players like Zion Williams for instance I was following him
Starting point is 00:22:50 when he was in high school long before yeah he had 2-3 million followers going in the college and you don't care that he plays for the Pelicans you don't care you care about Zion
Starting point is 00:22:57 like you hit it right in the nose like for Jake and Logan it's like they could fight on Triller they can fight on Showtime HBO the UFC it doesn't matter you care about Jake and Logan, it's like they could fight on Triller. They can fight on Showtime, HBO, the UFC. It doesn't matter. I care about Jake and Logan.
Starting point is 00:23:09 It's not. And this is a new era of media. And it's not just about skill. And this goes for all professions. It's the same thing that's happening in the comedy profession too, man. It's like what you talk about is somebody being like, this guy's super funny. But people don't know him. They can't access him.
Starting point is 00:23:25 They don't know anything about him. Or he's not relatable. Not relatable. For whatever reason, it doesn't connect, but he's a monster on stage. Yeah, but it doesn't even matter. It doesn't matter. Do you have like, are you in a podcast? Are you like, what's your social media presence?
Starting point is 00:23:37 Are you doing videos? Are you on TikTok? And all this stuff. Because how are people going to find out you're performing? It's just a new era. So it's like all these people in the fighting world they're messing up they need to be doing like daily like hey i'm training or i'm like whatever it is and then people will be like oh i like that guy you know who's doing that is izzy
Starting point is 00:23:53 stylebender like could do a breakdown of the jake paul fight he'll do a recap of it he'll do like lifestyle stuff yeah man and then you look at the views and like when he retires he's gonna have that to fall back on that's what i'm saying what about the comic that has the fan base and the branding, but he's not as funnier as the guy that's super funny? It matters a little. I think it matters a little bit, Eric. No, there's a minimum. There won't be longevity with it. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:24:18 See, I don't know. I don't know about that. First of all, there's a minimum standard. The people aren't dumb. You know what I mean? Like so you have like your comics comic or let's say like you have somebody that like comics find funny or you have some artsy-fartsy type comic. We hear that all the time. It's a comics comic.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Yeah, it just means that comics appreciate the joke structure. They appreciate the delivery and all that stuff. So there's some minimum standard of like where the person is still likable and relatable to their fans. And that's all that really matters. That's what we're finding out. Because before we just relied on Hollywood to tell us who gets to do what, who you should pay attention to.
Starting point is 00:24:58 And then people like Andrew Schultz. Oh, he dictates that. Andrew Schultz was like, ah, fuck y'all. You don't want to. Oh, he went around the system. He did his own thing y'all you don't want oh he went around the system Because they weren't giving them they won't pass to the castle and they Don't you need like representation or be a party has but he's not gonna like he doesn't do anything to entertain Hollywood Like before guys like I don't know if I'd say this joke man. This is whatever he wants whatever you got to respect that
Starting point is 00:25:24 I mean, well, that's what attracts fans yeah fans hate that hollywood shit now they do yeah they don't dig it anymore well there's so many because now you have direct to consumer that's what i'm saying direct to consumer so now like you know the the the like for instance the ufc is controlled by one person yep so you Zufo? So you need that person. You know, you need that person, right? You have to have that person. To play that game, you have to have that person. But Jake Paul and these people, they might be like, no, I don't think we need him. Yep.
Starting point is 00:25:51 I don't think we need him. Let's do it like this. Well, Conor McGregor did that too, right? Didn't Conor do his own thing? No, he came up with the UFC and then partnered with the UFC. Oh, he didn't do his own league or anything? No. Uh-uh.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Oh, so you're saying do your own league if you have the time. I'm saying you don't even need a league. All you need is a network that's going to say- And a fan base. And a fan base. And that's it? Yeah, so you're saying do your own league if you have the fans. I'm saying you don't even need a league. All you need is a network that's going to say and a fan base. And a fan base. And that's it? Yeah, that's all you need.
Starting point is 00:26:09 What do you need any organization for if you're bringing all the fans? It could be like a street fight if all you want. If Jake Paul is like,
Starting point is 00:26:18 yeah, live on YouTube. Backyard, bro. I'm going to fight and boom, boom. And it costs $5 to watch. People would show up. But that's what I'm saying is that we rely so much on these establishments. But that's what we learned in the pandemic, too,
Starting point is 00:26:31 is that these places are just buildings and people could do their own thing. They started that Supernova show. Yep, outside. Outside. It's still going strong. Yeah, really strong. So I'm saying people are realizing, hey, you know what? We can actually do shows wherever.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Wherever the talent is, people are going to come. And so I think it just goes for all these types of things too. I think boxing, comedy, entertainment, whatever it might be. I mean, look at Rogan. Yes, I'm saying. He's like, I'm going to pack my shit up, go to Austin, and just build my own club there. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:27:01 We didn't king or sting that thing. Oh, I think We ignored it again I think it's a king They basically kinged it They all kinged it I just want to stick to the protocol But Eric hit the nail They're jumping off points Stevie
Starting point is 00:27:11 But Eric hit it on the nose Like these fighters should take a lesson Like even if you hate the guy He's getting all this attention He didn't pay his dues I get it But the takeaway should be Oh I need to
Starting point is 00:27:21 Market myself Yeah market yourself And he's doing that perfectly Like even if you hate the guy The one thing you should take I need to create my own shit. Market myself? Yeah, market yourself. And he's doing that perfectly. Even if you hate the guy, the one thing you should take is you got to own your own shit, your own brand, your merch. Brand yourself. You got to become undeniable. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Because even if you're not, it's not a meritocracy in these businesses anymore. It's not just about the best is going to be here. Because they're not even getting the It's not just about the best is going to be here. You know, they'll get to, because they're not even getting the opportunity to prove who's the best. I've always said that the fighting should work more like traditional sports in a sense that you should have a season. It should be like some sort of like brackets or something.
Starting point is 00:27:56 It should be some sort of point-based that, so we know in nine months, when these two people fight, we know they're the best fighters in the world. There's no there's no determination and now like it has turned over to kind of entertainment too like if you if you become champ you know your champ you everybody knows you're the best but like there's a guy like leon edwards who's won like nine in a row from england is yeah he's a badass
Starting point is 00:28:19 he's a badass he's just not very marketable to the american fan base yeah because he's so he doesn't give a paddle shot and the And the fans are like, come on, dude. That's what I'm saying, man. And the UFC's like, we can't sell tickets. See, but that's not fair because in fighting, that's kind of different than comedy. It's not. But when you're a good fighter and you're kicking everyone's ass, you can't deny that. They are denying it.
Starting point is 00:28:38 That's what we just said. But it's the same as on stage. We just said they're denying it. They're not giving him a paddle shot. That's not fair. I mean, shot. But that's not fair. I mean, in fighting, that's not fair. I could see in comedy. Let me ask you this, Stevie.
Starting point is 00:28:48 If you owned the comedy store or you owned the UFC. Who's selling the tickets? Who's putting butts in seats? Yeah, who's selling the tickets? How many comics do we know who are monsters? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or so talented? If you were him, though, what would you do different, though?
Starting point is 00:29:01 That's a better approach. If I was Dana? No, no, no. The fighter, Edwards. It's what we've been talking about. He'd start a podcast do different, though? That's a better approach. If I was Dana? No, no, no. The fighter, Edwards. It's what we've been talking about. He'd start a podcast with Thea. Yeah, he's got to do it. Dude, he's in there.
Starting point is 00:29:11 You could, but you're going to be doing it on your own a lot. And then I'll be there for some reason, and you'll be complaining. Why is Griffith sitting in there? He's in London. Hey, guys, this is my YouTube channel. But that's not, yeah. It should be that. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:29:23 That's the way to do it. It's a little tough if that's not in his – But he's got to do it. Yeah, but if you're not good at it. But if you're not good at it, it's like – I think there's two routes. Win until you're undeniable, which he's not doing because he's refusing to not fight unless it's a title shot, basically. He's turned down all these fights.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Or do what you said, build your brand where they want you to fight. Yeah. Because you're – Yeah, and also there's a shelf life to fighting, man. You can't just be like, I'm going to wait until I get my shot. Then some 21-year-old kid is going to be like, I'm about to beat your ass.
Starting point is 00:29:51 Oh, you know, I thought of a solution. Let's do this. What's his name, Ian Edwards? Leon. Oh, Leon Edwards. Leon Edwards, too, though. Leon Edwards. So Ian Edwards is fighting.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Leon Edwards, if you're watching King of the Sting, what about for one episode, he sits in Eric's seat and that will give him a platform to sell him. Here's the problem, Stevie, is we're in the business of entertainment and comedy. That's not his forte. He's a funny guy, isn't he? No.
Starting point is 00:30:19 And you can't even understand him. Do you even know who you're talking about? No, I know who he is, man. I've watched fights, man. But Leon Edwards and Ian Edwards are pretty similar. I know. You know what I'm saying? Ian's a monster.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Ian Edwards is a monster. I'm talking about Leon. He's a great comic. Give Leon a shot. What about a 20-minute segment where he sits there and you could do that for him, man? You have the power to do that. Stevie, I appreciate you. This ain't Make-A-Wish, Bubba. He's going to have to figure, man. You have the power to do that.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Stevie, I appreciate you. This ain't make a wish, Bubba. He's going to have to figure it out. You know what I'm saying? I love the guy. So, Leon, if you're out there, man. The comedy route might not be for Leon Edwards. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:55 But does he have to be funny? Yes, this is a comedy show. Well, he should be like a marketer. That's why you guys are here. We just say he should market himself. Yeah, that's all we're saying. So, what does he have to do? Take improv lessons? I'm confused.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Like, he just... Hey, man, I don't know. Talk to his manager. That's right. Staying up to date on the latest trends and with football coming on and with school starting back, there's a lot of reasons to eat and a lot of things that are going to exhaust you and make you hungry. Well, Grubhub's got you covered. Yep.
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Starting point is 00:32:52 with the shield. We've got another debate club for you guys. All right. What's up, King and Sting? This is Chris. I love what you guys do with karaoke. I would love to hear more. If you could play any karaoke song
Starting point is 00:33:07 or do any karaoke song, what would it be? I know Eric has that soul. Woo woo woo woo! That's a Riffin' with Griffin fan, finally! Let's hear what he had to say. Thanks, bye. So Eric wasn't here a couple weeks ago. We did karaoke
Starting point is 00:33:23 without you. It'll be back next week. Oh, we gotta do it with him, dude. Next week with Eric will be great. Oh, he would kill it. But we can't play the songs, otherwise we'll get flagged by YouTube. So Chin's gonna learn the song. I already got one. I'm gonna hit it out the ballpark.
Starting point is 00:33:38 What is it? Cyndi Lauper. Cyndi Lauper. Time after time. Why are you whispering into a microphone? No, we heard it. It's a competition. Time After Time? Cindy Lauper, Time After Time, dude.
Starting point is 00:33:52 I'm going to practice all week. I don't think I've ever played that. Go ahead, guys. Wow. So you were a gangster and a musician? I wasn't a gangster. I was not in the gang. Were you the soulful guy?
Starting point is 00:34:02 They were like, Jim, sing that song. Like West Side Story. Chill everything down. You're a talented guy. Yeah. Go ahead. We're waiting on you. We'll think of something.
Starting point is 00:34:14 We'll figure it out. Do you have something off the top of your head? Go ahead, Eric. Next week, I ordered a spinning wheel, and we're going to put all the options on there, and we're going to spin them, and whichever one you land on, you're going to have to sing. Oh, wow. Do you have one in your back pocket? I rocked out the metallica last time metallica
Starting point is 00:34:27 he did enter salmon it was yeah i know that guy the what's his name the more than words uh extreme guy the guitarist he goes to the comedy store all the time you know ben court you know ben court yeah i know him well i got his okay can i tell you a quick story about him so he goes to the comedy store all the time. Nuno Bencourt. Nuno Bencourt? Yeah. I know him. I got his number. Okay, can I tell you a quick story about him? So he goes to the comedy store all the time, and he's a weird hippie-looking dude, right, when he's at the comedy store. So I didn't know this. He comes up to me, and he's like, a huge fan, man.
Starting point is 00:34:59 I would love for you to, can you come to my 50th birthday party and perform? I don't know this motherfucker. He's some weird-looking dude. And I'm like, oh, man, dude, I don't. He's like, you know what? I'll email you, you know? So I get this really nice email from his assistant or someone. And I'm like, OK, the way it was written, and they're going to pay me.
Starting point is 00:35:16 I'm like, OK, you know what? They came at me right. I'll go. I start driving. I'm in the Hollywood Hills. And I'm going up and up. Big boys. And up and up. Past the Hollywood sign and up. And I'm like, oh up. Big boys. And up and up.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Past the Hollywood sign and up. And I'm like, oh, shit. I get to a house. It's beautiful. Mansion. Mansion, dude. I go inside. They say, just wait in there.
Starting point is 00:35:35 He's coming. The wall is filled with gold records. And then he comes out in a dope-ass suit looking like a fucking, you know what I mean? Yeah, done. And I look and I go, more than words. I than words i go hey man open with this yeah i was scared man open with this shit here man i thought we'd be playing an apartment north hollywood dog i mean he's like it was his 50th birthday his chick was 24 you know what i mean her mom was there too just looking like. She was 38. Yeah, her mom was like, this should be me.
Starting point is 00:36:10 But he's such a cool dude. That's dope. And he's actually like, he was like Rihanna's musical director. Oh, shit. Yeah, he's like a, big boy move.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Yeah, he's like a, but he had this beautiful house and I was like, I would never even think, so obviously, don't judge a book by its cover. Like, wait to see how somebody approaches you and comes at you where do you make that money that's one song that's like one popular what are the other songs steve back in the day
Starting point is 00:36:32 oh no oh it's just metallica extreme extreme there's more than words more than words guy yeah but steve back in that day you can make a lot of money on one song i remember mtv seeing the music video produces a lot of stuff yeah it song. Remember MTV seeing the music video? I remember. WatoV produces a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah, he produces. Oh, Ghostwriting and stuff like that. Oh, right, right, right. I just know that he
Starting point is 00:36:50 has a lot of money. Yeah, so. How much was the gig? It was good enough for me to drive up to the hills to some stranger's house. The comedy in front of strangers. It was fine.
Starting point is 00:37:03 I should have asked for more, actually. So no song in your back pocket that you guys would sing? Yeah, go ahead, Brandon. Mine would be What Would You Do by City High. Who's that? You guys will know it if you hear it. What would you do if your son was at home?
Starting point is 00:37:16 Oh, yeah. Oh, there you go. I have a lot of go-tos. I have a lot of – I'm one of those guys that has a karaoke list. Oh, Eric Lister. I have a lot of go-to's I'm one of those guys that has a karaoke list Eric lives for karaoke When I go to karaoke I'm like it's good to be back everybody It's good to be back No Eric's the guy that goes no no come on I can't get
Starting point is 00:37:33 I'm not gonna sing that again Stop man come on this isn't my thing Give me that I like Ray Charles I like what's the one I'm drawing a blank right now Stevie Wonder I don't do any Stevie
Starting point is 00:37:51 Stevie Wonder songs are really hard to sing Prince I like Prince I'm a Purple Rain guy Sing Purple Rain I'm Let's see what else I got
Starting point is 00:38:00 Kissing a Fool George Michael That's my go to jam Right there You look that one up That's my go-to jam right there. You look that one up. That's the jam. Jin, how hard would it be for you to play some Dave Matthews, like Satellite? How dare you?
Starting point is 00:38:11 No, no, Dave Matthews. One thing I can't play. How dare you? Don't do that. Oh, really? He doesn't play traditionally. It's really, really awkward, and it's constantly rotating. Okay, no Dave Matthews.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Oh, wow, really? It's way, yeah, super hard. Wasn't Hendrix, didn't Hendrix play his guitar in a weird way? K-note. Oh, wow. Really? It's way, yeah, super hard. Wasn't Hendrix, didn't Hendrix play his guitar in a weird way? Left-handed. You know? Wow.
Starting point is 00:38:29 What about John Mayer? Probably could, but if I have to learn all these songs, it's going to be pretty tough in one week. We'll whittle it down. We'll whittle it down. You'll figure it out. But I mean, I think worst case,
Starting point is 00:38:37 we can do karaoke tracks because karaoke tracks, they don't always get picked up on copyright. With the instrumentals of them? Yeah. It sounds like Jim Carrey on a work. Oh, then you could do that. I'll try to learn what I can. Actually, they do. Sometimes, sometimes, yeah. Oh, they'll picked up on copyright. With the instrumentals of them? Yeah. It's like Jim Carrey on a work. Oh, then you could do that.
Starting point is 00:38:46 I'll try to learn what I can. Actually, they do. Sometimes. Sometimes, yeah. Oh, they'll flag it on YouTube. Yes. Because I used to do this where I would game, and in between my gaming, I would do sing karaoke songs on YouTube. Yeah, they'll be like, this is a copyright song.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Jim, we got you a gig. When I actually first started doing my podcast, I was like, I'm trying to come up with a theme song. And what I would do is play the karaoke of a song and then just make up the words. And I got flagged. Oh, wow. So then I was like, well. And then the monetizing goes to whoever publishing. They don't want that.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Yeah, they give all their money to someone else. A lot of times they share, though. A lot of times they do it. It's a share, but it's not a good share. But still, fuck that. I'm sharing Purple Rain for them. How about if I bring a little drunk thing and I'll just do the beats? Yeah, they give all their money a lot of times they share though a lot of times Purple rain for him. How about if I bring a little purple rain thing and I'll just do the beats. Yeah purple rain purple rain Purple rain, yeah, you have the the what do you call it? You have the mic effects That's what makes it. That's what makes karaoke work. I have one little thingy. Well, don't you do? It comes with the Asian household
Starting point is 00:39:40 Of course you do. Come on, we're Asian. Yeah, you're Asian. It comes with the Asian household. Easy there. A rice dispenser, a rice cooker. Easy there. A karaoke machine. A karaoke machine.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Chin, you want to back me up on this, man? Our household has it. Go ahead, Chin. Our household has it. Sorry, man. Okay. Most households that I know. I don't have it.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Well, because- I have the rice cooker. There's no space. Most households that I know. I don't have it. Yeah. Well, because. I have the rice cooker. There's no space.
Starting point is 00:40:04 You know. Where are you going to put the karaoke machine? Next to the Xbox? I'm going to make you smell my black butt next week. I'll tell you that much. You're smelling my black butt. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Your nose. What's this guy want? Nick Butthole. This guy's got another debate club for us. What up, King and the Sting family? Matt here sending y'all a whole lot of love from New York City. I know y'all are holding it down out west. I got you out east. Shout out to everybody in the studio, Brendan, Eric, Stevie, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Y'all are like the junior varsity United Nations that just gave up on trying. But I've got a debate club for you. I don't know if you've heard about the Bishop-Sickler High School football scandal. And I'm sure Nick could give you any sort of context if you haven't. But here's my question what is more embarrassing losing 58 to 0 on national tv or espn airing a football game with a fake high school espn it's absolutely absurd you heard that right what do you think gang gang buzz buzz stay blessed and brendan if you ever come out east and need a spotter you gotta be too some to do something baby ho. Holla at your boy. What's up, dog? Damn, he rich, rich.
Starting point is 00:41:06 New York? Look at that crib. New York? Yeah. That's a set of friends? That was kind of flossy right there. He just showed a piano and shit. Wait, see the background right there? He does video tutorials and shit.
Starting point is 00:41:18 I wonder if he rented out an influencer space or something. Nah. There's a ring light back there. That's what I'm saying. You think he would go that far, Nick? The piano? I don't know. Who knows?'s what I'm saying. You think you're going to go that far, Nick? The piano. So what is this about now? Have you seen this?
Starting point is 00:41:29 So ESPN aired this game against, what is it, IMG? Which is like a real big national powerhouse high school. Right. And they couldn't find them an opponent. They couldn't find an opponent for months, months. So they reached out to a third party to find an opponent. Well, this third party is like a scam. And they filled it with this high school that's like actors well they said well we got like 10 five-star recruits and espn didn't do any due diligence and just let this team play them and
Starting point is 00:41:55 they're like fake fake players one dude graduated in like 1999 they just got their ass beat beat and it's just it's it's like Joes vs. Pros How the fuck did ESPN Why would you let that happen Nobody looked into it So you see these coaches just super unprofessional You're telling me there's no leagues with other teams There is but they were just trying to find
Starting point is 00:42:19 A team to play this monster team I think it had to do with Other powerhouses didn't want to play this team because then you get a loss on your record and there's rankings. And this is like the team. Well, that's just like fighting. Well, look at it. They look like the fucking Dallas Cowboys.
Starting point is 00:42:31 So this is the ESPN? That's the legit team. This is the legit thing, not the ESPN. And the announcers started basically apologizing. Yeah, the announcers knew. Yeah, play the announcers. That's great entertainment. Is that the make-believe team?
Starting point is 00:42:47 No, that's the real team. Also the Dallas Cowboys. Wait, the real team beat the fake team? Beat the shit out of them. Oh, I thought the fake team was full of like... No, the fake team was full of like non-football players. Guys who graduated in like 97. And their names were super fake.
Starting point is 00:43:04 And whoever said they were in charge of the fake school got like a big check, but now there's lawsuits all over. But these announcers kind of freaked out. Because the announcers were worried because this team beat them so bad. They're like, you know, what is the health concern at this point, man? Because guys are just getting lit there. 53 to 0.
Starting point is 00:43:18 They had a number of Division I prospects on their roster. To be frank, a lot of that we could not verify. In our database, they did not show up in the databases of other recruiting services. So it's okay. If that's what you're telling us, fine. That's how we take it in. From what we've seen so far, this is not a fair fight. Who are these people on the sidelines?
Starting point is 00:43:43 That's the fake team. That's the fake team. I already am worried about it. I want to see one play. Yeah, go ahead. This could potentially be dangerous given the circumstances and the mismatch that we have here. And quite honestly, Bishop Sycamore doesn't have
Starting point is 00:43:59 not only the front line players, but they don't have the depth in case something were to happen to their roster with maybe a kid or two here throughout the remaining two and a half years. But if you're ESPN, how does this happen? Well, I'll tell you how this happens. It's all about money, man. Yeah, they didn't want to risk losing advertising in the game.
Starting point is 00:44:17 It's like money, money, money, money, money. You got the names of the players. They said, who let this slide? The name of the players, it's just a bunch of – there's multiple same names on there and shit. a game online i want to watch it you do not it is not a fun game man no they beat the shit out of them that's the names there ej walt wash jaylen knight johnny melvin marcus and then marquez goodwin is an n player. Duncanson. I like E.J. Walsh. Mark Arman.
Starting point is 00:44:47 E.J. Walsh. Matt Arman. Well, Devontae Jackson sounds like a good player. Oh, Richard Sweeney, Teldrin Foster. Wow. It's like the fake rookies in Madden when you do it. Yeah. So what's the incentive in this, Brendan? Look at the depth chart.
Starting point is 00:44:59 So do they get paid, these guys? What was the incentive? Yeah, the fake team. The third party gets paid. But what about, so they didn't get nothing? No. And I wonder what he told them. Like, what did he tell this team that he got together?
Starting point is 00:45:12 Like, they had to know. Like, you didn't go in being like, oh, we're playing a high school team. Like, they had to know that this was what was happening. Yeah, I don't know. So those guys on the sideline got paid some money, and they probably didn't even realize. They got got. For sure.
Starting point is 00:45:26 They probably were looking at this later like, wait a minute, I only got paid $500 for the day or whatever it is. It's hilarious, though. Because that high school, the high school obviously gets money. What's the other example then? So there's that example. What's the other one? He said what's more embarrassing, losing 58-0 or ESPN airing the fake school?
Starting point is 00:45:45 ESPN airing it. Yeah, that's the most embarrassing part. Who's more embarrassing, losing 58-0 or ESPN airing the fake school? ESPN airing it. Yeah, that's the most embarrassing part. Who's that embarrassing to, though? To them. ESPN. The best is the announcers because they got duped, too, because they thought it was going to be a competitive game. I'm sure they didn't do their due diligence, and they're like, who the fuck is this team? Well, especially if their announcers are ex-football players.
Starting point is 00:46:03 They are. Especially if their announcers are like ex-football players. They are. Because it's like when you're watching a fight, I'm sure that if there was some amateur, you would just notice it like this. You'd be like, oh, that guy doesn't know what he's doing. Even though the layman would be like,
Starting point is 00:46:15 I don't know what you're talking about. It's like when you watch gymnastics, and then you hear the person be like, ooh, that was a thing. I thought it was pretty good. And I'm like, that looked great. What are you talking about? That big thing in a tumble. Give her a 10. But they were like, ah, the technique on the thought it was pretty good. And I'm like, that looked great. What are you talking about? Like 10, fucking 10. Give her 10. But they were like, ah, the technique on the boom, boom, boom.
Starting point is 00:46:29 So that's probably what these guys instantly were like. You know what the toughest thing to tell in the Olympics is that when they dive, the Olympic divers, when they do all the flips. I don't get it. It looks fine. They all look like 10s. Yeah, it looks fine to me. But they're like, oh.
Starting point is 00:46:41 What's that thing? The Filipino guys. Got on the flip a little early. That was hilarious. Show them that. What is it? Filipino divers. Got to flip a little early. That was hilarious. Show them that. What is it? Filipino divers? Bob sent me this.
Starting point is 00:46:48 It's the Filipino team. Are they not very good? Dude, you've got to watch this. You have to watch this. Are they belly flopping shit, or what? They're the worst team. I think it was the worst team in the history of diving. So they might as well have sent the Lee brothers.
Starting point is 00:47:00 They call them the splash brothers. Easy with the words. Check it out. Right now in Singapore, and right now, the Philipp there, Eric. Easy with the words. Check it out....right now in Singapore, and right now the Philippine diving team... ...got started when diver John... Just back. Ouch! Ouch.
Starting point is 00:47:17 They call him the Splash Brothers. That's committing. But also, look at his face. Nobody else's face is like that. No, he knew. Listen, man. Let me tell you something. When he hit that diving board... Look at his brother. Nobody else's face is like that. No, he knew. Listen, man. Let me tell you something. When he hit that diving board.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Look at his brother. Hell yeah. All right, show them the other one. They give him all zeros. Look at this dude. This guy's the best. Holy smokes. They know they're about to eat shit.
Starting point is 00:47:40 This is crazy. In his face, he's like, what am I doing here? Why am I here? That's like me jumping in the fucking pool, man. He got no height on that jump at all. No, he just did like a cannonball. Help me! At the end, he chose to save it at the end.
Starting point is 00:48:03 They're like, come on, Doug. He chose to bridge, back bridge at the end. This is the Bishop They're like come on He tries to bridge Back bridge at the end This is the Bishop Sycamore diving team Yeah But that's who the Filipinos sent To represent them man These guys are like
Starting point is 00:48:14 We'll try bro You gotta get these guys I love these guys Tell me that's not entertaining It looks like That's their first time ever diving Like they told them when they got there No this is their team
Starting point is 00:48:24 No these guys are trained That's the best Filipino This is the there. This is their team. These guys are trained. That's the best Filipino. This is the best, dude. This is the best. Imagine who finished fifth and didn't get qualified. For real. That motherfucker broke their head on the... I love they call them the Splash Brothers.
Starting point is 00:48:36 Are these the only guys who showed up for trials? It's like they showed up. They missed the first day of practice, but then they started showing up. They missed the diving part, but their tucks and rolls. Yeah, their tucks and rolls. The way they approached the dive board was good. Dude, I bet they went to home and were like, Mom, you go to the Olympics. He's like, for what?
Starting point is 00:48:52 Which one was worse, the first one or the second one? No, no, that first guy. First guy is way worse. No, no, listen. He knew when he did this move. Wait, hold up. Can we see it one more time? I need to review it one more time, Nick.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Can we see it one more time? He first hit the diving board, and he went up. I just want to see both dives again. He was like, I didn't do this right. Yeah, he's like, dang it. Hold up. Let's watch it again, guys. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:49:09 I didn't do this right. Let's watch it again. I want to see. He's already making the face. The other thing is the divers usually don't strain this hard either in the face. Oh, OK. Let's see. He knew he was going to get hurt.
Starting point is 00:49:19 This is the first guy, OK? He's all, ah, fuck. Right here, he knew he didn't do it right. I'm talking about Cause you look Wait till they show his face He knew He knew on the jump Right there he did
Starting point is 00:49:34 He's not even in line With the board Oh my god Okay so that was the first one That was the first one Okay high five. Zeros. Yeah, those are zeros.
Starting point is 00:49:48 You got zeros? Zeros. Yes. This guy's a guy. Fuck. I mean, zero. I mean, he, come on, man. Okay, so.
Starting point is 00:49:55 That would be like, that would be the thing that the. I mean, you got to get zero. I'm surprised that social justice warriors didn't be like, zero. That's racist. Here we go. They're slipping off the board yeah there's and they're not they're going off to the side and shit no he shouldn't be under the diving board the second one was worse what's the biggest flash you're trying to save it at the end oh my god good call stevie What else you got, Nick?
Starting point is 00:50:25 Stevie, I guess, took our talk about male OnlyFans to heart. Oh, this is Cats in the Wild? Yeah, this is a Cats in the Wild. There's Stevie. Oh my God. Get it, Steve! You don't do that black butt, Stevie?
Starting point is 00:50:47 All right, cut. Run it back! Cut. Timestamp. Timestamp it. Timestamp and delete Nick. Can you please make a T-shirt that says timestamp it? Thank you.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Oh, that boy is... Look at him go, though. Look at Stevie go I look like that Yeah Me making sure I still got every five minutes Look at the face Steve
Starting point is 00:51:13 He just has those Hanes socks on Doesn't it hurt when people That's supposed to be paid content Now people put it on the internet That's a dude Oh yeah That's probably the dude who gave you a massage in the Philippines Yeah
Starting point is 00:51:24 Okay guys Next That's a dude? Oh, yeah. It's probably the dude who gave you a massage in the Philippines. Yeah. Okay, guys. Next. This one has been sent in a lot recently. Brendan joined the Taliban. Oh, God. Look at this guy. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Oh, wow. Similar. Wow, that's like a fly-ass outfit, don't they? That's like that guy is if Brendan and Aladdin had a baby Uncle New World beautiful haircut
Starting point is 00:51:54 though dude you should grow your hair out like that dude that's a great haircut dude look at that how come we
Starting point is 00:52:00 don't have a gun though those were the best King of the Week we It's of the week. We got some good ones for Theo, but we'll wait until he's back. That shit is funny, man. Oh, man. Hey, Brandon.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Hey, Theo. Have a King It or Sting It for you this time. Air fryer. Do you guys like them? Do you guys use them? Brandon, I know you probably have somebody cooking for you being all fancy. Theo, I know you're using that teflon pan for everything gang gang buzz buzz theo eats canned food i don't know what it is about the air fryer is my family
Starting point is 00:52:32 lives off that what does that do what the shit is lit what is that you can like cook chicken tenders like my kids eat chicken tenders in like five minutes they come out what is that it's like a convection oven i think uh they they had like a renaissance over the pandemic because you could put anything. I got a convection oven. It's not an air fryer, but I got a convection. I know they're great. Yeah, they're great. No, it's actually like enormous.
Starting point is 00:52:52 You can barbecue in there? I don't know if you can barbecue, but my girl like does wings. They're the best chicken wings you've ever had in your life. It's healthy, too, because you're not cooking in grease. Exactly. It's way healthier. So how does it heat up? Is it steam?
Starting point is 00:53:03 Like what is it? Magic, man. Magic. Steve, Steve, listen to the name. Air cooking in grease. Exactly. It's way healthier. So how does it heat up? Is it steam? Like, what is it? Magic, man. Magic. Steve, Steve, listen to the name. Air. The hot air fryer. Air fryer. So frozen pizza.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Yes. Chicken wings. Yep. Oh, man. It's dope, man. Where can you get one of those, man? Vegetables. Where can you get one?
Starting point is 00:53:17 Target, Amazon. This sounds like one of those, like, QVC commercials. Steve's like, where can I get one of those? So where can I get one of those? Yeah. No, seriously. Thank you for asking, Steve. No, because that would fit in my apartment.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Dial the number. No, I could use one. Where can I get one of those? Amazon Target. Can you put a chicken pot pie in it? Can you put like a maracalendro chicken pot pie? Oh, guys, Steve's going to get rid of the hot plate. We got to do a Steve infomercial.
Starting point is 00:53:38 I can't do everything, can I? I can. Can I do everything with my air fryer? A chicken pot pie? There's no way a chicken pot pie is going to fit in this. Steve's got to have the pigtails when he does it. Are we going to wrestle? I can actually put this whole turkey in there, can I?
Starting point is 00:54:00 I'm getting one. Oh, dude, life changing. I'm getting one. Yeah. Target? Definitely. You can reheat old pizza in there and it stays crispy. I'm getting one Oh dude Life changing I'm getting one Yeah Target? And like if you can Like reheat Like old pizza in there
Starting point is 00:54:08 And it stays crispy Steaks That's my thing It's great Down my alley Chicken wings dude My girls chicken wings Are ridiculous
Starting point is 00:54:14 There you go We did it Brendan CEO Got them Ernie and Bird eyebrows Thanks for having me On King and the Sting My name's Jordan
Starting point is 00:54:22 I'm from the Seattle Washington area I'm from a little town called q wallop we got a bunch of tribal stuff going on here and with that we got a lot of casinos which i'm actually at right now in the parking lot i got a quick king it or sting it what do you what's your guys take on casinos do you like gambling are you not about it if you do go to a casino what game are you playing for For me, personally, I play Blackjack. But that's because, and let's keep this a little secret here, I like to count cards.
Starting point is 00:54:52 I'm learning how to do that. And I'm getting pretty successful at it, and I'm hoping to continue to do it in the future. Get that energy when you go to Vegas, dog. They will sniff you out and fucking kick your ass. First of all, I want to say already, so this is a sting on him because
Starting point is 00:55:09 it's not illegal to count cards because it's not illegal. You're not doing anything wrong, but the casino will kick you out. This is a pretty popular show. All it takes is just one person in the casino business to be like, well, that guy's counting cards. And then they'll have him in a system
Starting point is 00:55:25 and there'll be some face recognition. And he's out. You're not going to get arrested, but the casinos just aren't going to let you in. It's not against the law. I don't like playing blackjack because I don't like being around idiots. You don't know how to play? No, I'm saying if I'm at a table with people and the dealer's showing a three
Starting point is 00:55:42 and you got a 16, you're supposed to stay or whatever. You know what I mean? There's a certain mathematical. There's etiquette. There's etiquette. So when you're not doing that at a $5 table, I'm like, no, man,
Starting point is 00:55:55 I'll give you $5. Hit that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because it's like I hate that. So I don't play unless I'm playing with my friends. But my game of choice is craps. Oh, craps. I love craps in Vegas.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Yeah, craps is fun. I don't like Vegas. Yeah, craps is a fun game. I don't like Vegas. Yeah, I don't like Vegas either. I don't like Vegas, the pool, the weird, the pool's lukewarm. It's filled with suntan oil. There's always hustles. There's like hustles too there. There's so many hustles. I'm not a Vegas guy, man.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Me neither. I was just in Vegas, and one thing I can't stand in Vegas. You were there last, how was it? It is what it is, man. You had some shows? Yeah, I was there all week. And this is why I can't stand in Vegas. You were there last. How was it? It is what it is, man. You had some shows? Yeah, I was there all week. And this is why I can't stand in Vegas. Don't bring your kids to Vegas.
Starting point is 00:56:29 It's not for kids. This ain't a kid's place. Nah, it's not. It's an adult playground. You are selfish when you are walking around a casino with your six-year-old thinking you're doing something. You're there for you. And people are smoking.
Starting point is 00:56:40 Yeah. Get out of here, man. There's also whores everywhere, bro. There's that, which is why we go am i right no reaction no man but the uh i don't know man i just i i i like to gamble uh but it can be a problem for people so you know gamble oh yeah you know correctly don't go, man. I like to gamble, but it can be a problem for people. So gamble correctly. Don't go with like. It's an addiction, dude.
Starting point is 00:57:08 Don't go with money that you need to pay your rent. Roulette's fun, too. Or the slots are fun. The slots are fun. The slot machines are fun. That's your Asian coming up. Yeah, man. That's your Asian coming up.
Starting point is 00:57:17 You're an old Asian woman. Only old Asian women are at the slot. Smoke chains. Chin back me up. Chin smoking. It's fun, dude. They're there for nine hours. No, dude. It's fun time, chain, chain, chain, chain. It's fun, dude. They're there for nine hours. No, dude, it's fun time.
Starting point is 00:57:28 No, I don't get that. They get territorial about the machines. Yeah. They do. No, dude. They have a row of them. Why are you making that up, man? They have a row of them.
Starting point is 00:57:35 No, they're not territorial. They are? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Chin, are they territorial with the slot machines, my man? Come on, Steve. You know this. The ants, they all get together.
Starting point is 00:57:44 They take up a section. Yeah, man. I don't like they smoking there. I hate smoking. I don't like that. You know this. The ants, they all get together. They take up a section. I don't like they smoking there. I don't like that. They smoke in. They vulture. They wait for someone who's been sitting there for a while to get up, like pissed off, and then they soup in. Oh, they soup in.
Starting point is 00:57:55 They've actually curbed the smoking, though, Steve. Oh, they did? I'm sure they're vaping. It's because they were like, well, we have to wear masks. Right. Because you have to wear masks at the thing now. Oh, really? like well we have to wear masks right you have to wear masks at the thing now Yeah, you do a master They're like hey and I'm with you on that like if I'm if I have to wear a mask and some asshole smoking like fuck
Starting point is 00:58:16 No, you know what times I just fart at the table yeah Swear to God somebody's just smoking. I just be cool. just be... Oh, you don't like that smell? You don't like that? I don't like the cigarette. Is that smell bothering you? Yeah. Is that obnoxious? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:30 What's happening right now? Like, get out of here. Dude, your farts have bothered me so bad, dude. Hmm? Your farts. Steve. You know they smell bad. Can you time stamp it?
Starting point is 00:58:40 Time stamp it. Did you take my tip? Hit up NBA Summer League when you were there? I wanted to, but it was just like, listen, it was so hot. Oh, it was fucking hot. You don't want to do anything. And then I'm doing Brad Garrett's club. So where you stay and where the club is is a legit 17-minute walk.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Okay? Every single time. A hike. Is this club an MGM? Yes. And then there's no room service oh no and in the signature towers there's nothing there's nothing water there's nothing so you have to take this walk so i mean i was like nah i don't i don't after all that i'm not going outside
Starting point is 00:59:16 well what do you do there to pass time then do you just stay in your room my xbox i was screaming all day you're in new york this week right right? Yeah, I'm going to Caroline's. Because David Lucas is going with you, right? Yeah, he's already going to be out there. That's what he said. Yeah, so I got him on the show. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:33 Is it weird doing a comedy in Las Vegas? Is it different? It is very different. Brendan, you've been there? It's all tourist. It's all tourist. How is it different? Well, but here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:59:42 If you're doing the strip, it's all tourist, right? Yeah. So unless you're like Seinfeld or Leno, that's not your crowd. It's all tourist. But Keith from Wise Guys opened a club there. I hung out with Pauly Shore while I was there. Oh, yeah. He was the king there.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Was he at Wise Guys? No, he was going to be. But he's like, you know, Pauly's a weirdo. You know what I mean? So I love him. But we did this like man on the street thing with him. Oh, word. His weird fans. Oh, for his YouTube? For his Instagram. And people were walking up to him. Pauly's a weirdo. You know what I mean? So I love him. But we did this man on the street thing with him. Oh, word. His weird fans.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Oh, for his YouTube? For his Instagram. And people were walking up to him, Pauly! Because I'd always do casino theater shows on the strip. Like Harris. It was just weird. It was just a weird vibe. I mean, you have your fan base, which is a weird vibe.
Starting point is 01:00:20 And then now that Wise Guys opened in Vegas. And it's for the locals. So I'm playing there, I think, October. What that Wise Guys opened in Vegas, and it's for the locals. So I'm playing there, I think, October. What's Wise Guys? Wise Guys is one of the best clubs in the nation. It's in Salt Lake City. Okay. But he opened a new one in Vegas, but it's for the locals.
Starting point is 01:00:34 It's off the strip, like in the suburbs. Yeah. Well, that's different. It's not off the strip. It's just a little bit off. Outside of it, yeah. Because downtown is right there. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Because we went to this barbecue place. He took me to this barbecue place that's right down the street from it. But it's for locals. Like, it's not like if you play the Mirage or Caesars or Tours. Yeah, because if you're staying in Vegas, you're not leaving your casino to go down to some, like, you know, you're not doing that. So that's why it is for locals. They got good food there, though, at those casinos, right? The buffets and everything?
Starting point is 01:01:01 I don't like any of that shit. I don't like it. I like a good steakhouse. Me too. I like a good steakhouse. Me too. I like a good steakhouse, but I ain't going to buffets. No, okay. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:01:08 I'm out at a buffet. Listen. Why is everyone so ugly at the buffet? I was already... Dude. It attracts just warlocks. Dude, I was already iffy about buffets before COVID.
Starting point is 01:01:20 When I would go to a buffet, I would be like, I'd get a stack. I'd say, can you give me some hand sanitizer things? Every time I go to the thing, I'd get the food, and then I'd go go to a buffet, I would be like, I'd get like a stack. I'd say, can you give me some hand sanitizer things? Every time I go to the thing, I'd get the food, and then I'd go back to my table, and I'd wipe my hands. You don't know what people are doing. Oh, bro, I'd grab them crab legs.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Oh, they got crab and lobster there? I'd be like, yeah, toss it back in, and the next person picks it up and shit. This is the kind of guy. And then also, I'm not trying to shit my pants. I'd get like a piece of fucking prime rib, some crab legs, a fucking sundae. You just get all this weird shit. Have you ever seen a video of the guy at Whole Foods drinking, eating the soup out of the ladle? What?
Starting point is 01:01:57 Yeah. Have you seen that? Dude, no way. He should get his ass beat. That's what I'm saying. We're going to fight. We're going to fight. He should get his ass beat. I want to see that. no way. He should get his ass beat. That's what I'm saying. We're going to fight. I want to see that. We're going to fight. He should get his ass beat.
Starting point is 01:02:06 I want to see that. No way. This may make your stomach turn. Yeah. A guy slurping soup at a buffet. How gross. He was caught on camera slurping. What's your problem, dude?
Starting point is 01:02:17 One, two, three, four times before returning the ladle to the pot. Oh, disgusting. What world are you from? No, dude. Etiquette, right? That's some buffet stuff, man. Agreed. Etiquette, dude.
Starting point is 01:02:32 Because even at a buffet, sometimes I'm a people watcher. Oh, me too. Especially at a buffet. So you'll see somebody at a buffet get up, and you know they just went to the bathroom. I don't know what's going on in there. I don't know what they're doing in there. And they come what they're doing and then they come back that's on site that we're fine that's the buffet also you see them big girls the big white girls grab the muffin look at it and put
Starting point is 01:02:54 the muffin back my bitch you're fat etiquette dude just grab the whole top of my muffin yeah all right i don't like buffets no more you shouldn't no also think think how cheap that food is if oh like the eggs and the bacon. You think that's powdered eggs, huh? It's not even real. Have you ever been on a cruise ship? Yeah. Dude, I remember my parents used to love
Starting point is 01:03:15 carnival cruise ships, right? That's just the ghetto cruise. It's the Sparrow Airlines. There's three kinds of people on cruises. You got old, you got fat. Don't say Asian. And you got old, well, old and fat and then Asian.
Starting point is 01:03:32 No, but they like, it's so bad on the cruise ship that like they have somebody administering the bacon. What? Because otherwise people go, wow. Otherwise it's just a free for all. Yeah, wow. You know, then there free-for-all. Yeah, wow. You know, then there's all the wastage.
Starting point is 01:03:46 The guy's like, you know what? Here's three. And then come back. Come back if you need some more. Here's three and also don't come back. No, but it was just, so that's what I'm saying. It's like there's something about a buffet that's just like, I used to love buffets.
Starting point is 01:03:58 And then as I got older, I was like, I can't be doing this. A hometown buffet. No, never. All right. Cut that out. The big one's Golden Corral, right? But they're all going out of business, right? Suplantation went under.
Starting point is 01:04:11 Golden Corral's not, because I think Jeff Foxworthy's like their spokesman. People don't want to do that. I mean, that's why I like Korean barbecue. There you go. Because you're touching. There you go. Because all you have to worry about is they're bringing the food, okay, and then you're burning off all whatever it is yourself.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Yep. Korean barbecue is great. Yes. Korean barbecue. So they're still open, which is good. Thank you, Eric. Remember that one I took you to over by my old place? Delicious.
Starting point is 01:04:36 That place is great. But they raised their price, though. It used to be $19. It was delicious. For all you can eat. Now it's $25. But I get it. I love Korean barbecue.
Starting point is 01:04:42 You know what I mean? People got to make money. Side dishes, all that. Yeah, I love all that stuff. That's all we got. That's it. All right,, but I get it. I love Creeper. You know what I mean? People got to make money. Side dishes, all that. Yeah, I love all that stuff. That's all we got. That's it. All right, kids. September 9th through the 11th, I'm at San Jose Improv.
Starting point is 01:04:52 San Jose Improv with the boys, Chappelle Lacey, our boy David Lucas. That's San Jose Improv, 9th through the 11th. Then after that, I'm in San Antonio, the big boy Bud Light Event Center, San Antonio, Texas. That's September 24th, one show. September 25th, one show. And I close out the end of September in my hometown, Comedy Works, Denver. Come get your tickets at FATKZ.com or Thickboy.com. Also, the Built Shirts collab with Thickboy drops next week.
Starting point is 01:05:21 Today, you can go see me in New York. I'll be at Caroline's from the 2nd to the 4th. Great club. And then next week, I'll be at the Denver Comedy Works from the 9th to the 11th. And then I finish September in Boston at the Boston Comedy Club the 23rd to the 25th.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Nice. So come check me out. Stevie, Scissor Bros. Scissor Bros at Austin, Texas sometime in September. Oh, Moon Tower Comedy Festival. Yeah, Moon Tower Comedy Festival. Nice, man. Yeah, that's it. Appreciate you guys.
Starting point is 01:05:48 They're going to be drinking Drano. That was a fun one. Brendan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think. I am in flow. Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor.
Starting point is 01:06:03 I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concerts flow is contagious browser outrageous thicker than girls that are instagram famous damn hungry like i'm fresh off keto seeing red like andrew santino every song i hit like the great bambino brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos but everything's gonna be fine hate on me i do not mind theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times They sliding into my DMs A couple of you tried but couldn't beat em
Starting point is 01:06:30 Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible Brandon's son hit me up He said it's too loud in the club, can you pick me up? King in the sting King in the sting King in the sting Beast in the club, can you pick me up? King in the sting, king in the sting
Starting point is 01:06:45 King in the sting, bee sting rat king King in the sting, king in the sting Got the bees in the trap, got the cheese on a string King in the sting, king in the sting King in the sting, bee sting rat king King in the sting. King in the sting. Bee sting rat king. King in the sting. King in the sting. Got the bees in a trap.
Starting point is 01:07:11 Got the cheese on a string.

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