The Golden Hour - Episode 142: Mystery Snake
Episode Date: October 8, 2021The guys talk Theo's mystery snake in a box and talk getting pickled, Wimp 2 Warrior, Theo's night of "almost" sex, fantasy couples between Theo, Brendan, Erik and SteeBee, a Deba...te Club submission by NBA's Terrence Ross, The Squid Game, edging, all new Relationship Advice and Clown My Hound submissions and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I know that none of you watch porn, but just in case you have any friends that do, you'll have to pay attention to this.
With everything going on in the world, governments have increased their surveillance.
They're using your device to track your location, movements, and in many countries, your internet activity.
You don't want to be literally caught with your pants down.
I want to be literally caught with your pants down.
And one of the best ways to keep your online browsing activity private is by using ExpressVPN.
When you use ExpressVPN, your internet connection is rerouted through a secure encrypted server so you can surf the web anonymously without anyone looking over your shoulder.
Look, I know you probably think all you have to do is incognito mode and no one, you can see, you've watched every last hentai video on Pornhub,
which I've never done, but maybe.
But you're wrong.
Even when you use incognito mode, your internet provider like Verizon or AT&T
can use every single website you visit and
if you live on campus or use a shared wi-fi your network admin kit too to be honest that's kind of
scary that's why i use express vpn whenever i go online and i recommend all of you do the same
without express vpn you're giving people a free license to peek
over your shoulder and see all the freaky shit you're looking at and they're judging you call
to action so protect your privacy today and get three months cats expressvpn.com
slash cats today
expressvpn.com
slash
slash cats
e
x p r
e s s
v p
n dot com
slash cats.
Do it today.
Three months free with a one-year package.
Express.
Express.
VPN.com slash cats to learn more.
Get them, Stevie.
Man, you look around the gym these days, dudes wearing the same old sweats,
the same old tees.
It's looking weak, bro.
You got to step your game up with some Viore, baby.
Yeah.
That's the only time I take these off, man, when I need to get something good.
And if I want to get a good perspective on something, something good.
Yep.
Everything Viore designs is to work out in, but doesn't look or feel like it.
It's comfortable.
You can wear it whenever you want, man.
Vuori.
Yeah.
Dude, I just bought some of these pants.
Yeah.
Could have got it for free.
I would pay it for free again.
Yep.
I love them.
I got green ones.
Oh, you got some green ones?
I think so.
They sent me some black ones, man.
I rock them all the time.
I got blue ones, actually.
Kind of green.
A little bit more blue, though, than green.
Hug them cheeks just right.
Dude, it looks like you could go to business or you could go to the green. Hug them cheeks just right. Dude, it looks
like you could go to business or you could go
to the gym. Whatever you want, man.
Whatever you want, dog. It's unbelievable
how crazy. And the chicks, they get too. They got women's performance
joggers. They got women's daily
leggings, men's core shorts.
All right? The pants are great. I have not
tried the shorts, but Vuori. Yeah, I only have
the pants. Viori. Viori.
Is an investment in your happiness.
I will agree with that, man.
For our listeners, they offer in 20% off your first purchase.
If you want to make a purchase, this could be it.
This could be it.
This could be it.
Go to Vuori.
Vuori, right?
Vuori.
V-U.
Here, you pronounce it how you want.
Yeah, but they're good either way.
Either way.
Vuori, Vori, V-U-O-R-I. They're solid. Yeah, but they're good either way. Either way. Viori, Vori, Viori.
They're solid.
Yeah.
They're all good.
It's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash cats.
Yeah.
You get 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75.
Free returns.
So that's important.
Go to clothing dot com slash K-A-T-S.
That's V-U-O-R-I clothing.com slash cats.
You'll love it.
V or E.
V or E.
I got a box of Chinese or Japanese dishes, and I had it open in my thing,
and that's the only place that I think that the snakehead came out of.
And I know who sent it it to and it's Bobby Lee
Wow your fat brother
And I think to don't even be contentious about it.
What's up, brother?
Contentious.
Meaning, like, you don't have to be, like...
Mean about it?
Yeah, yeah.
I think just chill and just...
Hey, guys, I've been doing it this way my whole life.
And I do.
I love it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's up, man?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I know you need this.
Let it happen, D.
Let it happen.
What's up, brother?
Damn, boy, you smell like. What's up, brother? Damn, boy.
You smell like a dad.
So I smell dead?
You smell like a lot of aftershave.
That ass is all muscle, dog.
I do like that shirt.
I do like it.
All the shave.
I smell good.
What are you talking about?
And look at this little.
You look like you've been pickled or something. I could him pulling the hair off and pickling your body but he's
been underground for 12 years but i can see that being like a new a new thing what it came out of
korea getting pickled yeah and it makes you it makes your skin nice soft and wet let's not do
this this morning let's get into the...
I'm going to have to do it this early.
I'm seeing that video too now. Let's get pickled.
Pickled.
It's like a milk bath.
Just big ass jars. Yeah, just
so you can breathe through it.
Koreans do like pickles.
Eric will make ice cream out of his milk bath.
You know, Eric will be like,
what's wrong with that? He'll make a gravy out of his milk bath. What? What's wrong with that?
He'll make a gravy out of it.
Eric Gravy Griffin.
Why are you dipping biscuits in your milk bath, Eric?
It's good.
Hey, I'm down fucking 40 pounds.
Oh, you have?
Yeah, we almost look the same size still.
What are you talking about?
You don't think like he's felt.
Yeah.
You lost 40 pounds?
You got a Beyonce ass over there.
You lost weight?
You really did lose weight?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's why I love seeing Bobby.
Dude, you got to, you guys can get a seat. No, Bobby's been calling me fat.
No, Brandon, can you get on my brother?
I'm worried about his health, man.
Yeah, I got an idea I want to run by Bobby.
Yeah, because he's just eating Taco Bell.
Oh, Ericic i meant to
i meant to call you this this guy it's called from wimp to warrior because we're talking about
doing something like that so this from winter warrior and i was like ah eric might be too busy
because there's some some caveats with this so from wimp to war so this guy rich chow who uh
he's the matchmaker at bellator he's like like MMA royalty. He's a smart, smart dude.
He runs his hand in the Ruka gym.
So what they do is they take a normal dude, whether a comedian or not,
or a celebrity or not, and you do a 20-week training camp with the top coaches.
Oh, get my brother in.
And you're going to lose weight like a motherfucker. What are you in shape?
It's going to be a lot.
I think it's a fun idea.
I think it's at 7 a.m.
Let's talk about it.
Yeah.
It could be dope.
Content could be dope.
Get the content for it.
It'd be great.
Bobby, don't wake up early enough.
7 a.m. every day, Monday through Friday.
He sleeps at 7 a.m.
That's when he sleeps.
That's the problem.
You think you could prolong that to going to bed at 9 a.m.?
How bad do you want it?
I don't know, dude.
Because he was like, you got anyone you work with or your staff?
And I was like, like Oh my boy Eric Griffin
Might be down
Yeah he could do it
He's a successful
Comedian
So I don't know
If he's gonna like
Get up at 7am
No but I think
That's the fun of it
It's like you wanna
Change your life
I think it's like
Inspiring to people
You know
And then here's the other option
And you don't have to do this
At the end of the 20 weeks
If you want
They set you up
With a fight No no Yeah that's what I told him No come on If you're gonna do it You have to do this. At the end of the 20 weeks, if you want, they set you up with a fight.
No, no way.
Yeah, that's what I told him.
No way.
I'm not fighting.
No, come on.
If you're going to do it, you have to fight, bro.
What if you fought George?
Yeah, fight for your dang honor, man.
He said he wants to fight you, Theo.
Yeah, fight Theo.
Theo's a two-stripe white belt, man.
Hey, let's set that up.
Theo's a two-stripe white belt.
Two-stripe.
It's one stripe.
You can take him.
You can take this guy.
Dude, I got enough issues, man.
I almost got into some sex the other night.
You don't need a splash of CT, Theo.
That'd be dangerous.
Yeah.
Might help me the way I'm going now.
Yeah, you don't even know where you're at sometimes.
It's kind of fun.
You almost got into some sex?
Why is that a bad thing?
It wasn't bad.
I just couldn't make it happen.
My body just didn't perform.
Oh, your wiener didn't wake up. You a you have you're big down there huh you're big uh you handle your body i'll handle my
body coming in hot i just heard when you're gone he talks about it a lot yeah did you have
performance anxiety he always references like this yeah he was that no but he starts like this though he goes theo tell me when to stop
oh so you couldn't get hard well look man you have to say it out loud like that i think he's
my penis can hear you first yeah sorry about that and second of all yeah this the gal pulled up
it seemed like a nice gal i met her you say gal, it sounds like she's over
47. Yeah.
That's just the way it talks.
In her 20s?
This is Nashville, Theo?
This was in a different city, man.
You're on tour.
She rolls up in a Dodge
Charger. A new one?
That's her man's Charger.
Two brothers in it.
Two brothers in the Charger. She's white yeah the white lady blondie uh it sounds like a blonde sounds like an episode
of black.com okay keep going anyway i was like are you gonna park she's like now my friends are
waiting in the car so immediately i'm like okay yeah awkward yeah yeah what are you talking about
i felt like it was like a game show or something.
Yeah.
Like, I'm not going to be able to do this.
Like, these guys are waiting in the car.
Like, it's cash cab.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you also lost respect for her.
You felt like, what, you just told these guys, hold on a second.
I got to go, you know, have sex with Theo Vaughn.
Let me try and pitch.
Then we can go to the club.
Like, what was that?
I don't know.
And what were the two brothers doing in the back?
Like, what's up, dog?
They looked pissed at first.
Yeah.
So I got them a water.
They had the little valet stand right there.
Good move.
So I grabbed them each a water.
Say, hey, fellas, here's a little hydration for you.
Yeah.
Because I know a lot of black dudes also, they ash out.
Y'all ash out.
And then what happened?
And then what happened?
Oh, so then we tried to get into some sex, and she was just so angry.
She was like, do me.
And bro, I was so scared.
Yeah, it turned me off.
Yeah.
I was trying my best.
So that's why you can get a boner.
Yeah, it just felt like it was like a-
Sounds like you're having sex with Nick Saban.
She was yelling at you?
It felt like a really intense game show.
Wow.
Game show.
Can I see a picture of her?
Huh?
You got a picture? i don't have any pictures
of her oh i'd love to see she left some of those like kind of like up like she had some
some padding yeah there's breath like the um yeah don't blame yourself hey but theo this is where
you this makes sense when you're saying it makes you skipped an entire part how'd you get out of
her out of the car with the two black guys?
She just came in willy-nilly.
Oh, wow.
She said, I'm just kidding.
These guys are fine.
And they stayed in the car?
Huh?
Yeah.
Probably did a podcast or something.
She a stripper?
Oh, so this is in the car.
I don't know if she was a stripper or not, dude.
Because they might be like, you're not a bodyguard.
You're going to do me.
You got a rubber on you?
Huh?
You had a rubber?
Yeah.
He's not a delinquent, man.
He's not Steve.
Steve.
He's not you, bro.
He don't have 40 childs up there.
Steve likes it raw, boy.
Hold on.
Timestamp.
Oh, Theo.
Theo, while you were gone, he brought that child's black ass.
I won't be around that thing.
I'm not a certified.
The crazy part was, I'm not getting a rubber dude if I'm not even erect.
There's nothing more embarrassing than putting your soft penis in your condom.
Oh, does that work?
It's so sad.
Yeah, it reminds me of when I used to do groceries.
You had to do the spinach or whatever, and you had to put it in.
Try to get it in the bag, and it gets stuck on the edge.
It's a nightmare.
Yeah.
It'd still feel good, though, wouldn't it?
No, it's like trying to put toothpaste back in the bottle.
No, it's embarrassing. You're like, hold on, I'll be right there. No, you know what it's No, it's like trying to put toothpaste back in the bottle. No, it's embarrassing.
You're like, hold on, I'll be right there.
No, you know what it's like?
It's actually like you're on a tightrope.
You know what I'm saying?
And it's like you have to really be, because that moment, you're like, I'm ready to go.
Yeah.
And you know you're not.
And especially if you're feeling like you already have these outside factors that you're not sure if you're really into this person.
Pressure.
So you need to get this condom on now.
Because that moment you stop this action, all of a sudden you're like,
your body's like,
yeah,
I don't really want to do that.
And then you're trying to,
you know,
not bring attention to your dicks.
You're like,
you from Nashville?
And she's like,
do it.
Yeah.
She was intense,
bro.
Like her father was in the military or something
or she might've been in the military.
Yeah.
In the female military.
So she was riding you.
Oh no.
She was like kind of being naked.
What is kind of? What's kind of being naked and uh what is what is kind of what's kind of yeah i mean she looked pretty naked man i got scared because i was like uh she
kept yelling dude and dude i remember oh this is crazy i had my socks on right and the place i was
staying in was really nice they had like a little bit of like a hallway so i ran and like tried to get the blood to like and like stop like i slid oh you're trying to you're trying to get all the
blood in your penis yeah you have your socks on oh yeah so you were so you were filming a black porn
yeah this is very black.com my feet get ashy bro you know i'm saying i'm urban from the ankle down
my feet get ashy bro my fucking You know what I'm saying? I'm urban from the ankle down, man. My feet get ashy, bro.
I'm not fucking.
You're urban from the fucking waist down.
From ankle to ass.
That big dick.
Your big feet.
From ankle down, no money in my wallet.
From ankle down, I am.
I got those Detroit feet.
And some woman also told me I had old feet recently.
Let me check them out.
And that hurt my feelings.
Yeah, let me see those bad boys.
Because you guys do a lot of feet, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Been in your station or something before.
Yeah.
Oh, touch the part that's my liver.
Thanks, dude.
Theo got a little ass big toe.
Oh, you have a small big toe?
Yeah.
Huh?
Your big toe is literally my body alone.
You don't have any nails.
I have a raptor claw for a big toe.
I never said that.
Bro, you're a ponytail away from being full trans right now.
Like I'm transitioning, ran out of money.
You're going to be A-cup trans, bro.
That's going to be your nickname.
I'm C-cup right now, Doug.
Oh, here we go. Oh oh here we go oh here we go i say one thing about a lot coming from the
pog bounty hunter over here doug you know you look identical to the bounty hunter
he's a beautiful man yeah he is okay he's closing in on brian landry that's what he says he says
dude i saw the funny hand the other day in the woods. He's like, he likes Coke, I heard. Look, man, this stuff, look.
I don't do IVs anymore.
I just drink liquid IV.
And I'll tell you something that doesn't have fentanyl in it.
Yep.
Liquid IV, guys.
A lot of stuff these days, you don't know what you're getting.
You never know, man.
You don't know the purity test of Gatorade.
You have no idea.
I don't trust them.
One stick of liquid IV and 16 ounce of water hydrates faster and more efficiently than water alone. What are you doing, man? Maybe we're out with your boys all night drinking. The next day, liquid IV hydrates you. Get done with beaming. This has five essential vitamins, man.
Can you even name five vitamins?
You probably can't.
Nope.
Grab your favorite Liquid IV flavors nationwide at Walmart.
You can probably find Theo there as well.
Or you can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com.
Use the code TATS at checkout.
That's 25% off anything you order when you want better hydration today.
Use promo code TATS at checkout. That's 25% off anything you order when you want better hydration today. Use promo code
TATS at liquidiv.com.
Oh, man, I'll tell you
something, dude. If you want to...
I had a thing the other day. It was like a pork
bacon deal. Oh, would you have
a private chef come over and cook it? Nuh-uh.
It was hella fresh, man. Oh, wow.
Out the box, baby. They hit you with the box.
Especially if you have a family. I don't have a family.
But I do have a snake that now lives in my house.
He needs to eat.
He needs to eat, man.
He needs that nice HelloFresh meals, dog.
And you want that quality meals for him.
Yeah, you want him to live a good life, man, a long life.
If you got a family, sometimes it's tough, man.
School's back, and you want to cook nice meals that are easy.
They're delicious, all right?
HelloFresh offers 50 menu and market items.
Choose from every single week.
Whatever diet you're on, vegan, calorie smart, special gourmet options.
We got everything for everyone.
Adult, child, gay, anything.
You could eat it.
Whatever your preferences are, you got it.
It's for everybody for all type of sexes.
Go to HelloFresh.com slash 14King.
Use code 14King for up to 14 free meals,
including free shipping.
Really?
That's HelloFresh.com slash 14King.
Use code 14King for up to 14 free meals.
Fill your fridge up.
Fill your wife up.
Your wife's getting big, bigger, even more.
You got it.
14 free meals.
Fatten up your little son.
Did you see? I saw
a funny fucking tweet. Someone said,
hey, can we all admit if Dog the Bounty
Hunter finds the homeboy
that this isn't a thing
where Dog is great that our FBI
just suck? Oh, Laundry.
Brian Laundry.
How good is this guy, though?
He's high in a different country, dude.
He's in Canada. Oh, a different country dude he's in Canada
even if he's in Canada
they can get him there's only a few countries in the world
that you can like it's not hard to be like
yo Canada send this motherfucker
you don't know where Canada is
no but they're not looking
the cops were saying or the FBI
were saying that because of his look
he has that bald head just normal white dude
he can put on anything
and he looks completely different. Here's the thing though.
Dog the bounty hunter is looking for him, right?
And Steven Seagal.
No, no, this guy,
the guy, Brian, can be like,
he can look for him easier. Just like, yeah,
have you seen like a weird blonde
dude asking for, you know?
He can just bounce.
Have you seen the hottest 60-year-old chick
from Panama City, Florida?
With that leather skin.
Have you seen somebody's auntie?
Some Florida auntie.
It just doesn't make any sense.
And he has that Hawaiian accent, even though he's from
Aurora, Colorado.
He's been in Hawaii for two years.
He wants to find his soul back.
Aloha, N-words.
He got fired for saying the N-word.
Yeah.
He didn't get fired.
He got busted, dude.
But he didn't.
I mean, he just said it on the phone to a friend.
Yeah, he did.
Yeah, well, that's, you know.
Yeah, he fired.
What's this?
Theo got a gift in the mail, evidently.
I actually don't know the full backstory.
Yeah, you know the backstory, too, you little chump.
Were you part of this?
Stevie?
This ain't the devil dancing, bro.
What?
Find a freaking snake in my house, a real snake.
Yeah.
Who sent this bitch, man?
Okay, I'm out.
Yeah, I'm out too.
That was just chill in your house?
Here's what happened.
I got a partner.
It's one thing to have a roach.
Who sent you, huh?
Caught her with a back scratcher.
Huh, shorty?
You little thot who sent you someone sent
that to you yeah bro you're the lord no i didn't send that but you know you know what's going on
no you have some can i clear the air yeah please because i know you know king of this thing i was
mad at y'all but when you went bad on us on your podcast? Yeah, because I had to wrestle that dude, and then me and Jeremiah
were talking about it, and I had
PTSD. From wrestling that guy?
He had 100 pounds on me.
Dude, you dominated him.
Yeah, but what if I thought this through?
What if it would have
gone the other way? We don't live in that what ifs.
We live in what happens.
That's why I was mad at y'all, and I was just like,
and I wanted to apologize for talking about it on Scissor Bros
because I know your fans were getting on me like,
hey, how can you bite the hand that feeds you, you backstabber?
And what were people calling you, that yellow N-word?
What were you saying?
This is like the game.
You know what the game show would be?
How can Theo add the N-word to anything?
What word is that? That's the game show.
The game show is like,
there's just a ticker at the bottom that goes,
yeah, Theo's at McDonald's.
Let me get a cheeseburger, N-word.
Black people always got to make shit racial.
This is the third N-word.
This is the third N-word reference.
I thought you were talking about N-words.
My bad.
Go on.
And I just want to clear the air.
But, Stevie, so you wanted your podcast because you felt some type of way.
I was like paranoid of you guys.
I'm like, are they going to set me?
Like, what's going to happen next?
In your defense, Jeremiah is like Fox News.
No.
No, he's like.
Jeremiah's like the view.
So, Stevie.
So, Stevie.
So, I saw you had. Let's leave that in. No So Stevie. So Stevie. So I saw you had.
Let's leave that in.
No, don't do that.
Please leave that in.
I just saw you had some issues.
Tell us about it.
Don't start that.
Jeremiah's like the view.
He will be goberged from the view.
He's like, I can't believe they would treat you that way.
Do you feel that way?
Jeremiah's like, yeah.
He's like one of those.
Yeah.
He'd be like on the talk.
Yeah.
So girl.
Girl, I can't believe they did that to you.
He's like Wendy Watkins.
Wendy Watkins.
Wendy Williams?
Oh, Wendy Williams.
Yeah, we just called her Dermot Watkins.
When there was no issue at all?
I think you had a good time, man.
All right, I just want to get out of here.
No, I'm with you, brother.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stevie.
It's good now.
And I tell you this.
I talked to Nick.
We're good.
We're good.
You know we love the fuck out of you.
I love y'all, too.
Shake his hand one more time, dude. Make sure you feel great. Yeah, do one more. By the fuck out of you. I love y'all too. Shake his hand one more time, Theo.
Make sure you feel great.
Yeah, do it one more.
Beautiful, Theo.
Let's get back to how nasty Theo's place is.
That snakes just come on in.
Yeah, Theo.
I'll tell you what happened.
I got a box of dishes, Chinese dishes, all right?
You're Chinese.
Okay.
Oh, this is like a Kill Bill situation where somebody sent you a black combo?
No, they were very, you know what I'm talking about, little cups.
Everything's a little cup.
Yeah.
It's basically a cup and y'all say it's a plate.
I got a box of Chinese or Japanese dishes and I had it open in my thing.
And that's the only place that I think that the snake had came out of.
And I know who sent it to and it's Bobby Lee.
Wow.
Your fat brother.
He is getting fat, huh? Huh huh he's getting real fat hey bobby do you think he sent that
snake to our friend theo over there because he was mad at us first of all my brother doesn't
watch this he knows no he doesn't watch i sent him uh the clip of you taking down george you
know what he told me he's like you would never be able to do that to me that's what he told me
he's like he can't do that to me he's like would never be able to do that to me, dude. That's what he told me. He's like, he can't do that to me.
He's like, yeah, dude, you couldn't do that to me. Well, we got to set that up.
That's what I said.
I said, come on down, Bobby.
I don't like what's going on here.
Bobby, come on in.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
So you want to see me wrestle my brother?
Yeah.
You want to see me wrestle my older brother?
Because I told Bobby.
You want to see that?
I do, Stevie.
I told Bobby.
I'm like, dude, I got my man Stevie, man.
I saw his movement. He still gots it. Has the singlet. I saw you out there? I do, Stevie. I told Bobby, I'm like, dude, I got my man Stevie, man. I saw his movement.
He still gots it.
Has the singlet.
I saw you out there.
Yeah, Doug.
You have to do that.
Yeah, you were chucking dirt.
Dude, but I have respect for, you know, it's like an older brother, younger brother respect.
Wait, was Theo doing a Macarena right there?
What are you talking about?
Okay, okay.
He was like, I saw that.
I still respect my brother.
Did you see the thing?
No, I saw him chucking dirt.
I didn't see all that.
I saw him moving.
Faint, faint, faint.
Yeah.
You look good, man.
I think he almost fainted, actually.
I saw it at one point.
Who's that little dime piece?
What's going on there, dude?
Is this the girl that was with Theo?
Is that your girl, Theo?
Is that your girl, Theo?
But tell your brother if he's going to send that shit, then I'm going to send you guys
shit, too.
Yep.
What are you going to send?
All right.
Hold up.
What are you going to send?
I'm sending you animals native to my area.
Huh?
In Nashville?
What's in Nashville?
Yeah, what's there?
Theo's from fucking Louisiana.
He's going to send you a goddamn gator
You want a gator?
She said alligator
Send it to him
Okay
There's a lot of love in here today
So I feel like this question is appropriate
Do you want it? I'll send an animal bite your dick off
I don't want it
I'll send an animal bite your dick off i don't want it i don't want it i'll send animal bite your dick off boy maybe your little toe oh there you go you got
an old feet if we get your feet put out here your foot probably voted for uh your foot voted
for uh winston churchill yeah yeah churchill yeah that's super old you know Churchill is not in this country
yeah he's in England
Doug
no he doesn't know
God damn
no I knew that man
he's just so old school
that's super old school
he don't know that bro
he don't know that
you know I was on your side
dude
Brennan thought
they had 30 grades
one time he told me
he said
well if you start at preschool
yeah a lot of grades first preschool first second third fourth fifth
sixth seventh eighth ninth twelfth he said he quit after 12 grades i was like that's it bro that's
that's it bro all right let's get to this dimey hey theo brendan eric and stevie this is eloisa
from anaheim and i have a debate club for you guys. So, out of the four of you,
which of the two would make the best married
couple? My biased opinion
of course is going to be Brendan and Theo,
but what do you guys think?
Let me know.
Me and Theo would be a fine
ass couple. I'd be a bad bitch. I'd have you
grow your hair out, get the cheeks
out, dog. Get those small
weird feet in some fucking sandals.
It'd be lit.
I think the better question is who would not work.
I think these two.
This would not be good.
My butt's tight, dude.
Maybe it'll work.
I take it back.
And it would stay tight.
Okay.
No, they would have love for for each other Be a toxic relationship
They'd be fighting
All the time
Fair enough
You're sleeping
In another room
You gross
Dude I think
Me and you
Would be a good couple
See I think
That's probably the best
Yeah
I don't know
We'd fight all the time
But Eric's feeling left out
I can hear it all already
No what are you talking about
No Eric would be daddy
That's thick daddy
Over there
That's thick daddy
I'm running the house
Yeah
I'd cook you fried rice Oh fried rice Then they'm running the house. Yeah. I cook you fried rice.
Oh, fried rice.
Then they wash them dishes.
Fried rice.
I make you fried rice.
You cook?
Oh, yeah.
You guys play video games
together?
Oh, yeah.
We play Warzone together.
You know what?
We have a lot in common.
Yeah, you guys play
video games together,
make dinners,
then fuck each other.
Be lit.
I just think anyone with Theo
is going to be a problem.
Oh, man. What? You a difficult bitch. Really? I just think anyone with Theo is going to be a problem.
What?
You a difficult bitch.
You're a hard bitch to live with.
That's what that would be.
Theo's a bad bitch, but you're going to go through some shit.
Talk about fucking high maintenance.
Well, look, dude.
I got freaking snakes and miles of course it's tough living with me, okay?
It's a close thing I do to a spouse thanks to you guys, huh?
You got people sending you wild animals I saw the Chinese dishes too boy
Who's got no Chinese dishes
Every dish
Is made in China
I'll kill your parents dude
Dude my dad's dead
Then I'm doing a good job aren't I
Well that's a lot of tools
Sorry man I shouldn't have said that
I don't know who Sorry, man. I shouldn't have said that.
Time stopped.
I don't know who it is.
Is this?
So Eric and Stevie?
I didn't mean that, dude.
No, I know you didn't.
I think me and Theo, we would fight too much.
Yeah, you guys would fight too much. We would fight too much, dude.
You wouldn't be.
Yeah, you'd be making me go to bed early.
You'd be making me get up.
You need to get to bed.
You'd be reading me the newspaper and shit in the morning.
I ain't doing all of that stuff. I bet you guys did. You guys being robed in the newspaper and shit in the morning. I ain't doing all of that stuff.
You have to get a manny patty.
I bet you guys in robes.
You guys be in robes in the morning and shit.
Putting powder on your back and legs.
I ain't doing all of that shit, man.
Would you eat his nuts?
Hey, Steve.
He eats his nuts.
Don't stop that.
That is retarded.
Don't stop that.
Keep that in.
Steve's all about that.
You know how Steve is all about the sex?
We're talking about being life partners.
And Steve is just like, are you going to eat his butt hole?
It's part of it.
It's a part of it, man.
Steve and Eric would be the best couple.
No, no.
You two would be the best couple because all y'all talk about is sex all the time.
You look like Chris Cyborg if the swelling went down a little.
What?
And you, you know what you're doing, baby boy.
You would hide probably in his buttocks. He'd live there? That the swelling went down a little. What? And you, you know what you're doing, baby boy.
You would hide probably in his buttocks.
Yeah.
He'd live there?
Well, from the back, aging is good.
You know what I'm saying?
You won't even know.
Good back rubs.
Yeah, there you go.
Massages.
CB looks like the type who gets in a relationship and then he's down to bringing somebody else.
Like, I feel you're open-minded.
Oh, no.
I'd poison him.
Oh.
What do you mean poison me? With rice and a i bet in the wonton soup baby yeah jim what do you think over here you see these beautiful
men in here who would make the best relationship i think nick and chin would make a great relationship
and i think meatball meatball kyle would be some bad little short kings short kings look we don't
need another they what if they make another short person yeah we we don't need more short people well yeah well that's not gonna happen yeah that's
not yeah that's not the cards for you what are you talking about yeah ask stick daddy over here
what are you you guys are gonna it's gonna be even shorter
that blood is gonna get even more diluted i like to ask chin why we wouldn't be i should yeah it's offended there's
just no attraction there's nothing i feel like you're really quiet this is a hypothetical
we're making a hypothetical right now if i look at bodies what would be the most compatible
relationship i don't like tall i don't like tall in the first place so it's got to be smaller
oh you don't want to be a masculine. You're probably the highest.
Korean dude.
The Korean bond, baby.
You want to get each other.
The Korean bond.
The Korean bond.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, kimchi chicken every night.
I know.
And you're thinking now, who would want that hairless body?
Yeah, it does sound nice.
Come on.
Nick, who do you think would make the best couple?
I think Eric and Stevie, just similar interests.
I mean, they already talked.
Like, one's going to cook and and clean they'll play video games yeah they got a lot
in common but what about the sex i'll run a tiny house stevie
i'm gonna tear steve up dude if you did that to me
Dude, if you did that to me, hold on, I'm just saying.
You'd have to put Vaseline in my butthole, dude.
Oh, come on, Stevie.
Quit saying that kind of stuff.
Not raw, dude.
Not raw.
Quit saying that kind of stuff.
Wait a minute.
You think I'm using the condom?
Wait a minute. You're married.
Yeah, Steve.
There's kids listening.
We're in a relationship.
Cut it.
No.
You got that herpes on him.
That's what he's got, dude. You know what I'm talking about. That's what he's kids listening. We're in a relationship. Cut it. No. You got that herpes on him. That's what he's got, dude.
You know what I'm talking about.
That's what he's worried about.
Well, damn, I feel like we all just fell out of a big relationship.
Yeah, I know.
I feel like we're not close anymore for some reason.
We're close.
We've decided that we can't live together.
You're too dirty to be married to me.
I'm kind of with him on that.
I'm kind of, no.
Stevie's a freak, man.
You're into weird shit. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. Stevie's a freak, man. You're into weird shit.
Flashlights is weird?
I bet you 90% of the dudes out there
have flashlights like me.
Right, guys?
But they don't name it.
Help me out.
I'll sing Gator for you.
There's eight people in here and you're the only one.
Hey, Kyle, help me out a little bit.
Help me out.
Kyle's not into it. Alright, what's help me out a little bit. Help me out.
Alright, what's this dude got?
This is Terrence Ross, isn't it?
That's the homie! He's a baller.
That's the homie!
He's a fan of podcasts
and stuff like that.
He has a podcast too, Terrence Ross Podcast.
Yeah, T-Ross.
What's up, fellas?
It's your boy T-Ross.
I got a debate topic question for you guys.
The biggest thing streaming right now is Squid Games.
And I'm kind of curious out of you four,
who do you guys think would win or complete the Squid Games?
Let me know.
I kind of personally think it's going to be Brendan
because it all matters when you get down the line to that Squid Game
and it gets a little more physical.
I just don't see
Theo, Steve, or E.
He's all laughing.
He didn't even say your full name.
You know what?
We're going to talk about all the white women he with now.
He called him E.
We're going to talk about all the white women
that Terrence Ross has always with.
His snow bunnies he always with.
All right.
All these snow angels.
Yeah, he got a lot of snow bunnies.
Really?
I think he just celebrated 10 years with his wife.
Yeah, dude, he's married.
What are you talking about?
We don't have to cut that out.
She is white.
She's a white woman.
Oh, that's who it is.
She is a snow bunny, though.
She's partially white.
Well, he's on Instagram with snow bunnies.
Who's watched Squid Games?
I'm on episode five.
I've never seen it.
He's seen it.
Explain what it's like.
It's like a Korean drama series, but it's like Hunger Games.
It's really good.
It's like Hunger Games.
It's really good.
Give me an example of the game.
People that are down on their luck, they get convinced to, they sign up for these games.
Are you still thinking about that?
All right, so the daughter.
That's my boy. That's what I'm saying. That's my homie right there. Got a Theo? All right, so the guy, that's my boy.
That's what I'm saying.
That's my homie right there.
Got a Theo ass on her too.
Look at that.
That's Theo's size booty right there.
Yeah, dude.
Arizona or Turcos?
No, that's Florida.
He has some mitts on him, man.
Nikonos.
Yeah, dude.
Nikonos.
Damn, bro.
What planet is that on, Brendan?
Good for him.
She is bad.
Yeah. So the people are like,
they're all down on their luck.
They all need money,
but they don't realize
that this is like
a game for your life.
So the first game
is red light, green light.
And then the instructions
come on,
you know, red light, green light,
you have to stop
or you will be eliminated.
So you think eliminated
means you have to leave the field.
No.
They just,
everybody starts getting shot.
Oh, damn.
And then you realize that the games are all lethal getting shot. Oh, damn. And then you realize
that the games are all lethal
after that.
I'm good.
And there's six games
that happened.
Oh, that's dope.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Hold outside a little tighter.
So anyway,
this thing,
it's a computerized robot
and it has their back
towards the contestants. So they go green light, red light, green light, red light a computerized robot. And it has their back towards the contestants.
So they go green light, red light.
And then when it turns around, it has these cameras in its eyeballs.
And whoever doesn't stop, they kill.
And there's guns shooting the.
So it just becomes like it's like a real.
Have a little.
Sit down and have a little.
Is that paper?
There you go, boo.
There you go, little boo.
I had some.
I had some.
No, no, no.
I don't want you to spill.
I don't want you to spill.
I'm giving you a little.
Okay.
Take it, boo-boo.
Why does he need two smoothies?
Who are you?
Yeah, we have two smoothies.
Y'all ain't got to worry about my smoothies, bro.
If y'all want smoothies, get smoothies.
Y'all got zero smoothies.
We missed the order.
I didn't know.
Yeah.
How come we weren't asked if you were going to do it?
Squid game, baby.
You would win.
You would win.
You would win.
Oh, two smoothies.
Sam over here.
That's who, fam.
Yeah, the smoothie king over there might win squid games.
Huh?
You sick, boy?
You need another pump?
No, no, no.
I'm good.
You need another pump?
But anyway, it's a really good series on netflix yeah everyone yeah you should definitely watch it
good we're not even allowed to play it's only is it for who's it for what are you talking about
the movie you guys it's a korean drama let me ask you this though this is this question um i watched
it like with the english dub over because I can't stand reading movies.
It kills it, though.
It doesn't kill it, but it's not as good.
I will say this, though. The first few episodes
and this is just a style of
Korean style, very over the top.
The comedy is very
like...
It really gets serious.
I'm going to wait until they remake and put Matt Damon
as the lead character.
You will be waiting a long time, first of for that what do you mean a remake of uh you roll for that eric i'm waiting for matt damon it is why matt damon why matt damon it's like he
did the great wall and over the top you saying the show is bad the show is i didn't say it was bad
oh you watched it no i've seen it i'm on episode three i didn't even want to come here
okay it's that good.
Okay.
It's not all Koreans either.
There's like other people.
There's a Pakistani kid.
Yeah, which I love. I love that guy right there.
Is there any white guys?
Mostly co-roses though.
Probably later maybe.
Yeah.
That won't be staying in it.
Yeah.
It's so good.
You gotta watch it.
It's a mindfuck.
It's a mindfuck.
It's like I believe people love it.
I believe it already has the highest.
It's the highest stream show.
Over Narcos and over fucking.
They said it would be the most streamed show ever.
That's what they're saying.
Over Narcos, over Ozark.
A split game, baby.
Yeah, baby.
Damn.
Over the crown.
Theo, you want to take this one?
Yeah, you know I will, dude.
Nobody needs help and uses more help than I do, dude.
Yeah, you're right, man.
But you need better help, dude.
And whatever help you're using, I think you should get better.
And that's where our friends at BetterHelp come in, man.
They have Brendan.
Something's interfering with your happiness, prevent you from achieving your goals or being
mean to your co-hosts go to better help they will assess your needs and match you with your own
license professional therapist man we should communicate we should take this whole show to
an episode man yeah we should sit down with therapists and talk it out we should i wonder
that'd be a great idea.
You think we'll both start crying?
We'd make real progress, real breakthrough.
That's a great idea.
I bet my tears, though, wouldn't test positive for PEDs.
Mine would.
That's one thing I'd do now. But they don't judge.
That's why you need to talk to a real licensed professional with better help.
Start living a happier life today, man.
It doesn't matter if you're on steroids, not on steroids, if you drink coffee.
Jacking off, not jacking off.
No judgment, man.
These are real counselors.
Visit BetterHelp.
BetterHelp.com slash K-A-T-S.
This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and King of the Sting listeners.
Get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash K-A-T-S.
Now, would you guys ever have to play games for food at your house when you're growing up?
Here we are, and we're back,
everybody.
You didn't play rock, paper, scissors
for dinner or some shit? No.
Oh, you die? None of that.
We grew up normal.
All right, next, K-E-N-D-E-R-S-T-I-N-G-I-N.
Here we go.
Let's progress.
We make a good couple, Brennan, you think?
I mean, we're basic.
You're already a good couple.
Yeah, we're basic.
Yeah, you're right.
That's a great point.
We figured it out.
Yeah.
But which one is abusive?
Yeah, we built our own show on it.
He hits me.
He feels mentally abusive.
When you do this with Theo,
he's emotionally abusive.
Brendan, if you're naked and he's naked,
you're naked and he's naked.
You keep going back to sex, Stevie.
And then you're... What? I'm not keep going back to sex and then you're what
I might have a techie
you touch
you grind each other
no Steve
it wouldn't happen like that
what do you mean
Theo can't get it up
so obviously
it was one time
there was two brothers
waiting in a charger
she didn't cut the engine off
that's a lot of pressure
I'm with you
okay
this is Theo's fault
wow that's
what did she expect from you
she thought you were like
a two minute hit it
quit it she said just keep the car running Theo ain't gonna be able expect from you? She thought you were like a two-minute hit it and quit it?
She said, just keep the car running.
Theo ain't going to be able to last that long.
She thought you were Chris Brown or some shit?
I mean, Jesus Christ, man.
And then she was yelling at you?
Damn.
Dude, she was yelling at me.
But if she's bad enough, all right.
Does she smell nice?
Yell at me.
Does she smell good?
She's like a really nice girl.
I don't have anything bad to say about her.
She just was very, I think women nowadays are just very adamant about what they want.
Aggressive.
At least she's up front, you know?
No blurred lines.
She was pretty, though.
Pretty lady.
No, she didn't open.
She didn't tell you, hey, I'm swinging by for a couple minutes, and I got my brothers
in the car, and can we just go hit it?
You thought it was going to be a bit more romantic, didn't you?
I may have.
Thank you.
I mean, I may have thought it was going to be a bit more romantic
i did turn on the television did you have candles lit was there music playing did you put out the
good sheets were there snakes on the ground yeah how did you have the place set up so you're
probably disappointed in this process no i remember i put on the tv i put it on hulu i
couldn't remember my login i said fuck it and just left it on and then i waited for her to come up i
i i opened the door
a little bit so she wouldn't so because i felt like sometimes closed doors seem scary to people
so i opened the door no not at all open doors even scary open doors weird like what is she
gonna walk into you're gonna be like a circus outfit you know what's wrong dude
what kind of underwear was she wearing huh what kind of undies was she wearing? I think adult underwear,
I think,
for the most part.
Adult underwear?
Stevie all about that sex.
Stevie's dark.
Stevie's bad guy.
Stevie's bad guy.
You need to talk
to somebody.
Betterhelp.com
promo code Katz.
Stevie's bad guy.
His family's in Cincinnati.
Yeah.
So this is going to be
in your spank bank,
Steve?
Maybe, maybe not.
Theo with just socks on and a very aggressive woman.
You just got to hit that hallway.
I want to see the women you get.
Slide down the hallway trying to get that blood.
I want to see what you're working with.
Huh?
I bet you there's some beautiful women in your DMs.
Oh, yeah.
Huh?
Right, Brandon?
They always hit me up.
There's a lot of men.
Me too.
Always.
A lot of beautiful men.
Little Butterfly, who's this woman?
I don't know who that is.
She knows about you.
Okay, whatever.
She knows about you.
She loves you.
Your family sent a new serpent to my house?
She loves you.
Huh?
Little Butterfly.
You know what it is?
Because you're like Eve when they sent you the snake to tempt you.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I like that.
Yeah. I'm going to grill you. What does this this gentleman one nick uh it's our last debate club beautiful guy right here boys theo b shop stevie weeby eric
whoever the fuck's in there this week trust me trust me that's how we feel
jessime was nicely Finally got a lady in here
Yeah
She's great
Chica
Jessamay's great
Yeah
Ooh that's a lady
That's a looker
Did you feel any spice
Between y'all maybe
Well
They shot it down real quick
I noticed that
But didn't you feel anything
You did
You're like
You don't stand a chance
I'm sorry
No it's okay
It's okay
Steve kept talking
About his dick size No I told you How big you want my dick to be Just tell me when it's okay. It's okay. Steve kept talking about his dick size.
How big you want my dick to be?
Just tell me when to stop.
I can't hear you.
Tell me when to stop.
You better stop soon.
You better stop soon.
That's your problem.
No, that's my problem.
I'm obsessed.
You're obsessed with sex, man.
You came out the gate too hot.
You think so?
Yeah.
You were talking about your dick size before you knew her name.
Did I really do that?
Yeah.
That's why I was like, Steve, you're at a 10.
I need you at a 4.
Yeah, and I think you got to do more like-'re at a 10, I need you at a 4. Yeah, and I think
you got to do more like...
But she wanted a 10
and Steve's at a 4.
That's what I'm saying.
See how easy it was
for him to stand up?
Like there's no weight
even between his legs.
Yeah, he swung up.
You'll be fine, Stevie.
A lot of it is gross.
Dude, there's got to be...
Do I need betterhelp.com?
Because that's my sponsor for mine this week.
Have Brendan kick you in the pituitary gland.
Brendan, do I need betterhelp?
I think you probably got another ghost burn in you.
Brendan, Brendan, Brendan, help me out.
He might make a mistake.
Go to betterhelp.com.
You know what I mean?
Totally different sites, dude.
Yeah, dude.
He probably buying automobiles from sex websites.
I do what I do on my own time.
Oh, there's two.
You're stinging it right here.
Debate club.
And debate club.
Let's see what he said.
Urban Meyer.
Uh-huh.
What is he doing?
What should he be more ashamed of?
Going 0 for 4?
Or sticking those hands where they don't really belong?
Let me know.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Nick, you have that video of him getting grinded on by that young chick.
Now, is he at the bar just chilling?
She comes up and starts rubbing her ass on him?
I haven't seen any beginning.
This is one of the videos.
This is just where it ends?
Give me context.
What is this?
This is the Jacksonville Jaguars head coach, famous college football coach.
This is one of the most famous, most successful college football coaches of all time. Finally went to the NFL. He's with the Jacksonville Jaguars head coach, famous college football coach. Oh, and this is one of the most famous, most successful college football coaches of all time.
Finally went to the NFL.
He's with the Jacksonville Jaguars.
Do they know it's him?
Yeah, that's him.
And he's chilling at a club?
The night after he went, lost his fourth game.
Well, he grabs his girl's booty?
I don't think he did that.
He's trying to put his finger.
What's he doing?
He's doing something.
She put someone really got a video of Urban Meyer trying to stick his finger. What's he doing? He's doing something.
Someone really got a video of Urban Meyer trying to stick his fingers up my ass.
But she was standing there and grinding on him and stuff.
I think more people are just upset because, A, he's married.
And, B, he shouldn't be celebrating after being over four.
It's not that he was, like, assaulting her.
He needs to leave that thing and go to USC.
Go ahead, Theo.
This is my air conversation.
Oh, really?
You're telling me.
Hand me the glasses and hats so I can do an impersonation of you, motherfucker.
These are the bodies you're going to be wearing in about a year just because you need them.
So you're telling me.
We're like the same age.
This motherfucker.
He's 32. If he was 2 and 2, it's okay if he grabs this girl's ass?
If you're four and oh, two and two, you can't.
I'm with him on this.
I knew he would be.
No, no, no, because here's the thing.
Here's a two-fold problem.
This is out of context.
If they're not showing the part where she's like, you know, if they're having a flirting situation, I'm fine with that.
Okay.
Two, he's married, so if you have a problem with that,
then you have a problem with that.
But that's separate from trying to make him out to be a pervert
when he's just engaging in whatever's happening here.
Okay.
Three, Peyton Manning, his first, when he was a rookie,
he was 1-15, and he had just as terrible of stats
as this rookie quarterback,
Trevor Lawrence.
Okay, it's a rookie quarterback.
He shouldn't be starting, but he's the number one pick,
so they have to put him in the game.
It takes time.
It takes time.
So next year, if he gets his growing pains out,
if they suck again next year, then Urban Minds is going to be fired.
But this is just like the growing pains of what's going on.
It's just him trying to pile on top of them.
What I'm saying. This is layered.
This is a layered issue.
My bigger question is what fucking bar are they at in Jacksonville where it's this lit?
You ever been to Jacksonville?
I've never been to Florida.
Jacksonville is like basically, you ever seen one of those trailer fights?
Yes.
That's Jacksonville.
Where it's half full?
That's Jacksonville.
This was the tweet from his wife the night he went out.
So people were thinking they
probably have some type of understanding uh well those are the his grands his kids
his kids are growing and his daughter is a dime piece there was another one where like dad's out
he deserves it or something like that well they're just trying to downplay it they're
trying to make it like you know he also you know he makes 10 million dollars a year they're not trying to right they're trying to be on the street how much would you have to make to have
let your wife be out having another family you think have another life another life going on
and she's like how much would she have to make your wife to let you think if you have a wife
i see what you're saying well you have a wife you have a wife too almost basically the real question would be all right dude be nice but you don't ever plan on having a wife do you uh
no i'm too weird i'm too i'm too weird dude debate club who's gonna get married very debate club
who's gonna get married first theo or steve i'm never gonna have yeah one. A robot, maybe. I was going to get sued by a chick first. A robot in the future.
A robot, but not a wife.
You got that herpes, baby.
You better tighten up, son.
This guy's got to clow my hound for us.
We haven't done that in a while.
What happened to T-Ross?
Brandon would win Squid Games.
Yeah, he's good.
Yeah, Brandon would win.
Check out T-Ross podcast.
We didn't really discuss that.
We didn't really discuss it. We didn't really discuss that.
No, but there's somewhere.
It's not physical.
It's like the marble.
Remember the marble thing?
Theo would win because he's more conniving.
Yeah.
Oh, is that?
It's like Big Brother?
Yeah, you have to use your brains, too.
I don't know.
He's like the guy that got the friend killed in the show.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, the Petrified Kid.
No, no, no.
He's the show.
He's the other guy.
The deceiver, yeah.
Yeah, he's the deceiver.
Yeah.
I haven't seen it.
So people said.
There is one challenge where it has to do with marbles.
It was more of a brain.
Lord of the Ring.
Have y'all seen that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're more like Schmeagle.
But what about this, though?
What I'm trying to say is who would win Squid Game?
I think either.
Why don't you?
You don't think
you'd win
I don't know
you'd slip in your own
semen at the starting line
I bet
you'd die
I definitely wouldn't win
unless the competition
is who can like
you know
who's the old guy
in it though
Billy Crystal
you see Billy Crystal
is he real
yeah
pretty crazy man
I don't know
who would win
yeah but if it came down
to physical fighting
obviously
it ain't coming out of
it does in the end
it does
oh it does
don't ruin it
that's the end
it's on
everybody's watched it
sorry
spoiler alert
get your shit together
everybody has it
it's been out for a hot second
let's go back on
I'm on episode 5
I didn't see that
I expect that
okay that's what happens in here let me see this little He's going back on. I didn't see that. I expect that.
Okay.
Let me see this little bad bitch, Nick.
Stevie Wonder ass over here.
Jonathan from North Carolina.
Sure it is. This is T-Ross undercover over here.
We know who it is.
Saw this little bad boy roaming the streets.
Think he got on a Carolina.
Got a little clown on my hound.
Well, it's not my hound.
Saw this little bad boy roaming the streets. Think he got on a Carolina. Got a little clown, my hound. Well, it's not my hound. Saw this little bad boy roaming the streets.
I think he got on a boat from Trinidad.
Might have been Nicky's cousin.
I don't even know.
Shit, it might be Spider-Man.
He's definitely shooting some rope.
Let me know what you guys think.
Gang, gang, bust nuts.
Gang.
Oh.
Damn.
What's going on there?
That boy got some nuts on him.
He's got some big nuts.
Oh, you got to milk him, though.
Yeah, you got to.
We need that operation.
Blue balls, man.
Yeah.
And he was referencing Nicki Minaj's cousin who got giant testicles from supposedly the vaccine.
Came out and said that was a lie.
Oh, really?
Yeah, he came out and said that's not real.
Yeah, she's getting eaten alive for that.
Yeah, that's not right.
She should.
Yeah.
We're in a freaking world pandemic.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you need an operation for that.
This dog either has a tumor or the biggest blue ball.
That's cancer.
You got to cut that out.
That's cancer.
You don't know if that's cancer, bro.
That could be God also trying to send a message, man.
What's the message?
Yeah, we need to hear what this message is.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, Theo.
The message could be anything, man.
Like?
The message is different for different people. Well, tell us what your message is. Go ahead, Theo. be anything man like what message are you hearing life short question let me think about it for a
second see if i could channel some of it you channeling now i would just say that this dude
get one snake now he fucking misses cleo. You know what I mean?
He missed Cleo all of a sudden.
He got one snake.
Somebody sent me a DM and said that snake is probably a messenger trying to sell you something.
Could be.
And I know what it is, too.
Big nuts?
No.
That your family is shit, boy.
What the hell?
That's what that snake came all the way and told me, huh?
He sent me a box of 30 dishes and a fucking little thing.
No, that's Bob.
And a freaking Chinese, Japanese newspaper. that snake came all the way and told me, huh? You sent me a box of 30 dishes in the fucking little thing. No, that's Bob.
In a freaking Chinese newspaper.
Well, now you have to like,
I'd be scared to get anything else in it.
That's how I feel.
I got four other packages I'm afraid to open.
Yeah, yeah.
It could be a scorpion.
Because I'm afraid to see if my pants are there.
You're really afraid to open your pants?
Yeah, man.
It's pretty scary.
You see that thing?
It's a rat snake.
Wait, is that snake poisonous? It's a rat snake. It's a poisonous. No You see that thing? It's a rat snake. Is that snake poisonous?
It's a rat snake.
It's a poisonous.
No, rat snakes are.
That'd be illegal.
You think I'll wear this shirt around it, though?
Fuck no.
That's why I wore this shirt out here in California.
I can't even wear this shirt at my house, man.
Great shirt, dude.
You're just going to wake up, the snake's going to be on your chest.
Give me your big rat.
But I think if I saw those big nuts, man, I would say maybe it's time to start a family
would be the message I would get from the other side.
That's fair.
It's time to hold back, man. My new thing I've been doing
anyway is edgelording. What's that?
It's when you don't do ejaculation.
You look like that, too.
Why would you do that, though?
Chin talked about this already.
He did it for like a month.
Only two months. Chin's hair is doing it. Would you do that, Theo? Huh? Why would you do that? Chin talked about this already. You did it for like a month. You get more focused.
Only two months.
Chin's hair is doing it.
I want to know more about this edgelord.
Edgelord, bro.
Get up to the edge.
Chin, you're on two months?
I did two months.
Were you going nut?
Yeah.
I did two months.
You know what lowers your testosterone when you do that?
Nutting's for children, dude.
It's supposed to higher it.
No, it lowers it.
Because your body goes, oh, we don't need to do this and use it, so it shuts it down.
I don't know.
But I stopped doing it, so it's all good. Because boxers used i stopped doing it so it's all good because boxers used to do that ejaculate no
fighters used to do that and literally there's research for two months though it lowers your
testosterone is it helping you don't feel that's the new i feel great man i feel i don't know how
long you've been doing it uh probably almost five days ever since well it sounds like you didn't
ever since you saw the two black guys yeah it sounds like you didn't want to do it ever since you saw the two black guys with the girl
you started edging
it's not an option
so this is real
your dick don't even work
this is real
when I was honking the horn
and threw some Wendy's
out the passenger side
of my window
I said damn
I can't do it again
how can I get erect
during this type of stuff
and they came to your place
and I didn't know
where you live
this is a hotel so read the definition I didn't know where you live? This is a hotel.
So read the definition.
I can't read.
What's the definition say there, Nick?
There's edging and there's edgelording.
Is it the same thing?
Oh, edgelording is a thing that I've been into, man.
That's what I am.
What's the difference, Theo?
I don't know if it has a definition or not.
Someone posted on the internet
who uses shocking speech opinions that themselves
may or may not actually believe to gain
attention. Oh, there's a bunch of little
bitches out there doing this. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I got an MMA journalist.
I'm just trying not to ejaculate.
Edging is the practice of engaging
in sexual stimulation to the point of
ejaculation before stopping and starting
again. But eventually you have to do it, though.
You have to watch. Or you let God pull it out of you
at night while you sleep. So you have to not?
No, this is like, it's supposed to make... Eventually they not,
because it helps the orgasm. Yeah, it's supposed to make
the orgasm even more intense.
Damn, why can't y'all just do regular sex?
What's wrong with y'all? I noticed my hearing's even better.
Really? I swear to God, dude.
Five days, my hearing's better, and it's easy for me to
move my fingers if I'm reading, like, trying to get through a book or something. I feel like your hair's growing days, my hearing's better And it's easy for me to Move my fingers If I'm reading like a
Trying to get through a book
Or something
I feel like your hair's
Growing faster too
So you read like this?
Your hair's long, bro
Is it?
You sent me those pictures
From the special
Your hair's long
Oh, thanks, man
Patrick Swayze a little bit, dog
Yeah
So you masturbate
You can do that while you
Masturbate and don't nut?
No, you don't want to
I don't even masturbate
You don't want to start that
You don't masturbate?
No
You don't? No, you can't I'm done it. I don't even masturbate. You don't want to start that. You don't masturbate? No.
You don't?
No, you can't.
I'm done, man.
You're done?
Are you still doing it?
Every night. Haven't you done it?
Don't shame him.
You're right.
Hey, don't.
Yeah.
Don't shame him.
See, all that shit retired from jacking off.
They retired.
Yeah, they hung my jersey up.
Hold up.
Hold up.
Let's not move on so quick.
His jersey's at Zaney's in Nashville. You stop masturbating? He's like not move on so quick. You stop. Zayn, he's a natural.
You stop masturbating.
He's like division champ, league champ.
You stop.
Ball star.
You're done.
YMCA.
He started.
He go back, man.
Hey, dude, congratulations.
My penis is done.
We're done, man.
It's like Coach K retiring.
Wow.
It was a good run, though, huh?
That's like a Jedi thing. It was a good run, and it was a good run though huh that's like a jedi
thing it was uh it was a good run and it was a bad run man we had some highs we had some lows
those valleys are low you're not masturbating anymore are you on the road maybe occasionally
damn bro you get lonely in that hotel room they're busting up because i'll facetime with my
in your hotel room in your hotel room with the lotion. Oh, damn, you jack off to your fiance.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, interesting.
You're flying out of town to bust, bust, bust.
Man, good for you, man.
Good for you?
What are you talking about, man?
I'm sorry that I'm still attracted to the one I love.
I am, too.
I am, too.
You better clean this up.
No, listen.
Clean this one up
I love vanilla ice cream
But sometimes
If I'm jacking off
I can see what
Strawberry looks like
You feel me
Yeah I like that
Man you a dog
Hell yeah
Thanks for your honesty
Sometimes I see
What that chocolate
Ice cream doing
Yeah
I like that
That 31 flavor
Me too man
There's a lot of
Different flavors out there
I'm trying to see
What it's like
So what he's saying is
you like to window shop.
Yeah.
Then you go home
and spend the money.
I like to...
Get here!
Yeah, Brandon.
Get here, Theo.
Now you see people
wonder why we set
the positions where we are.
This is why we set
where we are.
Oh, you're right.
Oh, the pervert couch?
This is the people
that are still struggling to get their shit together.
Oh, because you guys have your shit together.
Yeah.
Get your glasses on.
Yeah, put those glasses on.
What were you saying?
I can barely look at this sin over here, huh?
There's sin over here.
I like to look at ice cream I used to eat.
Yeah, there you go.
Back in the day.
So that means if you look at his phone, there's a lot of X's on there in the photo section.
That means if you look at his phone, there's a lot of X's on there in the photo section.
I did have a bite of cookie the other day, and I said, ah, no more. Too much.
Yeah, I just said, you ain't doing it.
You ain't tricking me no more.
Damn, you gave up cookies and jacking off.
You gave up sugar?
I gave up two-thirds of a cookie on an airplane.
Your life sounds awful.
Wow, dude.
Yeah.
Oh, you're telling me I got snakes coming through my life?
You're making life changes. Huh? Life changes. Yeah. Maybe I am, actually. Yeah. What are you telling me? I got snakes coming through my life, huh? You're making life changes.
Huh?
Life changes.
Yeah.
Maybe I am, actually.
Good for you.
Maybe you're growing up.
This guy's looking for some relationship advice.
I don't know.
Last night, I saw Hank Williams Jr. live.
I enjoyed it a lot.
I got my needles on.
Theo, I see you with it on.
That's what's up.
Looking fresh.
Rap king.
But anyway, so pretty much I'm asking for some relationship advice. Theo, I see you with it on. That's what's up. Looking fresh. Rap king.
But anyway, so pretty much I'm asking for some relationship advice, bro.
So I got out of my relationship with my first girlfriend.
And I was trying to get back with her and she was giving no effort.
And pretty much the tables have turned as I would describe it
and now she's trying to text me and I'm like
I want nothing to do with you
like straight up but
I haven't replied or anything so
any tips
any life advice
for a pretty motherfucker
love you guys
you guys.
You guys helped me.
Is this Andre the Giant's son?
You know what I mean?
This Andre the Giant sentence,
that's the longest sentence ever. That was a long, long...
His question was bad.
I just liked his video and his vibe.
Yeah, it's funny.
So he's trying to get with the ex.
She's trying to get back with him now.
So he originally tried to get with her
and she's like, I'm good. And now she get with her, and she's like, I'm good.
And now she's blown him up, and he's like, I'm good.
Dude.
It sounds like an ego thing.
Yeah.
It's an ego thing.
It's like, get over your pride.
If you're into her, what are you doing, dude?
Yeah, if you're into her, get into her.
She came back around.
We need Brian Laundrie to send in a question.
Yeah.
From Canada.
Yeah.
But Theo, so when you're trying to get away, that'd be amazing.
Bro, Brian Laundrie, if you're out there, man, if you're still alive, dude, send us in or something.
If you need relationship advice, if you need.
I think you're past the relationship advice.
I think he needed that like two months ago.
What if he's on King or Sting and road trips with your girl?
Oh, no.
Brenda, you're going to to hate these, bro.
This could be him in a freaking
disguise. Yes, that's what I'm
saying, dude. This guy's got a way more
interesting... No, this guy looks like... Is this Mike Brown?
Yeah.
It's one of the Sklar brothers.
The third Sklar brother.
What's up, Brendan? What's up, Theo?
And whoever the fuck showed up?
Wait, first of all, I take offense to this.
Stop it right there.
Stop it right there because I think you know something.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't say that because we show up every week.
We're not the ones that don't show up all the time.
He did say the G word. Yeah, he did say the G.
That was like, fuck you, gook.
We don't need you around these parts, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You stop coming right in, man.
Go back to your cave, man.
With your little noodle bucket.
Go back to your cave with your little rice dick, man.
He left the M word and the G word in his beard.
You done ruined the podcast, man.
It's right in there.
It's right in there.
Yeah, yeah, with your little noodle bucket.
With your little noodle dick, man.
Your little dumpling.
Get that shit out of here
we want the old brent yeah we want a white butt oh god we want a white book
so i'm in burnsville minnesota uh i don't want to be here either sure you are right before so
either sure you are brian before so my question is um my girlfriend's pregnant and i'm gone for a long time like a month to six weeks at a time i'm only back for a little bit so uh
brendan like get a paternity test what you do to keep it spicy what you do to like
make something like that work because i know you're on the road theo you'll never have a
family so i'm not going to talk about your opinion oh he knows you if anybody else has got something for them to know appreciate you guys
gang gang
plus plus
this guy's
funny
he's fine
see you
so Brendan
probably true man
yeah
that was pretty mean
I bet there's love
for Theo out there
look there's been
a lot of mean stuff
that's going on
this episode
Mike Brown could've
put on some
what if Mike Brown
retired
put on some weight
try drinking beer I don't know you can't tell what that guy's built like it episode. Mike Brown could have put on some. What if Mike Brown retired? Put on some weight.
Try drinking beer.
I don't know.
You can't tell what that guy's built like.
It's not Mike Brown.
No.
They both have beards.
Mike Brown would be nicer to you.
Yeah, Mike Brown. Gone for a month, though.
How often, though, bro?
How long are you allowed to leave the house, Eric, these days?
Yeah, it's a lot.
Like, I'm going to a destination wedding with her this week oh you bringing
where's the destination it's the cabo oh damn damn oh nice yeah ball yeah he's making some
dough now these blonkies out here with that cash huh new condo i might even go i might even go
i don't know i didn't repeat it you did but i do have a lot Of out of town gigs I've been going out of town
You know Thursdays to Sundays
Yeah
You know for a lot
So it is what it is
You just gotta find ways
To spend time when you get back
Yeah when you're there
You have to make it count
Now will you do something
Like the night you get back
Do you have to go out that night
And go to dinner
Or are you allowed
To kind of wait a night
Yeah we do date night
Once a week
Oh
So like tonight
We have date night
Cause I'm on the road Thursday
There you go
Oh what do you do
Then I'll pick up the kids
Pick them up and drop them off from school
When I'm here everyday
So is dinner in the movie
Like dinner
Just dinner
Okay
We'll go to like a really nice dinner
You guys don't arm wrestle
Hell no
That'd be funny
His girl was a ring girl dude
No she wasn't
In Mexico wasn't she
She was one of those
Well she was Miss Mexico
Oh she was Miss Mexico
She was Miss Mexico
She was Miss Mexico
Yeah Do not start googling you freak I'm not googling Well, she was Miss Mexico, but she was Miss Mexico. She was Miss Mexico?
Yeah.
Do not start Googling, you freak.
Don't use that in your spank bank tonight, bro. No, no.
I wouldn't, dude.
I would never kiss Miss Mexico.
Yes, you would.
Stevie's going to bring in a big Mexican ass.
Yes, she would.
Pinky promise.
I respect that.
I won't do that.
Thanks, Doug.
I would never look up your wife.
Ever.
What about my wife huh this guy he's
gonna get something bad he's gonna fall in love guarantee it i feel like i'm probably gonna get
somebody pregnant at some point 100 dude i remember i got uh you'd be a stepdad you look
like a stepdad chlamydia one time yeah and this is probably a week or two ago no but i got it cured
and then went back and got it again from the same girl.
She was that bad?
I don't know what she was, but she was willing to give it to me again.
What is that?
Does that sting your dick?
It's like your dick has a runny nose.
That's how we got King of the Sing, yeah.
You went back?
Did you even confront her about it?
No, she must have been bad because
you're like man it's only some antibiotics dude i had a roommate at the time this dude
calvin right and he had these he would get high and he had these cats that he would train them
in the living room to do different type of stunts and jump in boxes yeah weird and we had high
living room ceilings right so he'd get those sometimes i'd come home he'd have four seven
eight empty boxes all
stacked up just catting you know these bitches all up in there you know 18 feet up in the sky
and he's just doped out all your warriors fired up yeah before ninja warrior yeah so anyway um
uh i was moving out some girl came and looked at the room, right? And she was cute, bro.
She was.
I believe it.
She's a little jerk.
I believe it.
And then what happened was I ended up taking her out that night,
and then she gave me chlamydia.
Twice.
Twice.
I got it cured.
I'm proud of you, man.
Can I ask a question?
Can I ask a question?
Yeah.
What did the cat stuff
have to do with
why you busted
in this chick raw
can you please
explain
I just want to know
you distracted us
with the cat boxes
to be like
why the cat
he just painted the scene
for you man
a strange woman
I put my raw dick
I saw him
breaking silverware out
too
when I mentioned
him
first of all he had soy sauce out of his bag hey he's like chin Yeah, I saw him break his silverware out to
Soy sauce
Because I was just setting the stage happening man story so the cats distracted you were like I don't need a condom because of these cow
But then we snuck back in real quiet into the apartment because the guy was looking to rent the room to the, he's like, I got to find a roommate, man.
And you had left.
So we had to sneak back in here for a little more chlamydia.
And then I got it cured.
Thank God.
That's an easy one.
And then I got it again from her.
She must've been bad.
Because I wasn't sure if she said, I didn't give it to you.
And I said, I think you did.
And so then I guess we kind of proved it.
You needed that empirical evidence. There's only one way to find out yeah yep all right we'll close out
with a couple of king or sting it yeah little blue eyes yeah jesus christ
you're a monster man
You're a monster, man.
What?
You're a complete monster, dude.
No, you're with me, man.
You're on my team.
Get over here.
Sit down with me.
You just told a story how you got cat media right now.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I like you, man.
We're the same.
We're the same. We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same.
We're the same. We're the same. We're the same. We're the same. We're the same Hi, Theo. Hi, Brendan. Hi, Stevie. Hi, Eric.
Whoever the fuck else is there today.
It's just like a theme.
Your fans are mad.
Yeah, they're really like, whoever the fuck is in there.
Like the attitude that all these fans have about this.
They start off like this. Hey, Theo. Hi, Brendan. Steve. Eric.
Whoever the fuck else is there today. Whoever the fuck is in there messing up our show
that we love hey you guys fuck off okay all right yeah fuck you all right thanks for keeping the
show existing yeah a little appreciation we're breaking our backs over here man you think i like
driving a calabasas every freaking t Tuesday to have to deal with this bullshit?
They don't even got a full kitchen in this bitch, man.
It's the respect we get, man.
You can't even grill in this bitch.
But also, King it.
What does she got?
What does she got?
She in a singlet.
I don't know if you guys have heard, but the man who attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan in like 1981 was just released from prison.
Johnny Hinkle.
So King understood it.
Being granted unconditional release after attempting to assassinate the president.
You with it or no?
Unconditional release.
That's obviously a question for you, brother.
Buzz, buzz, young blue eyes.
I just farted.
Sorry.
Oh, damn, Steve.
You smell it?
Yeah.
Why do you think I turned that over to you?
That's an unconditional release.
81.
I mean, the guy served his time.
I mean, Ronald Reagan?
That was in the 80s.
Yeah, correct. Ronald Reagan. So it's been what? Fucking 40-something years the guy served his time. I mean, Ronald Reagan? That was in the 80s. Yeah, correct.
So it's been, what, fucking 40-something years?
He served his time.
He's trying to kill the president, though.
Yeah, but prison's supposed to rehabilitate people.
So if that's what's set up for him...
Then why not just kill him, then?
I think he got sentenced to life, but then...
They let him out?
No, no, but life isn't life. Life is 25 years.
Yeah, 25 to life.
So he must have got, like, five, four life sentences or whatever it was.
Here's my thing.
They got to make that life.
Sorry, go ahead.
You know Squeaky Fromm?
She was the one who stabbed Sharon Tate.
Oh, yeah.
Andre Rison's girlfriend?
Correct.
You're talking about left eye.
Different, but both evil.
One could dance and sing, though.
But Squeaky Fromm, she was 16 when she committed that murder. She was also high on drugs. you're talking about left eye different different but both evil one could dance and sing though um
but squeaky from she was 16 when she committed that murder she was also high on drugs she was
like on fucking heroin and acid yeah and then she was basically conned into it through uh
tex the guy who did it they killed sharon tate but she's 16 and she's in california prison
and every like 10 years she's up for parole and she's like a model assistant now.
She like does all her shit.
Is that her?
It might not be Squeaky Fromm.
There's one still in prison
who did the murders.
She was on acid though, dude.
She was 16 when she did it.
She was on acid.
She was acid
and she was like
kind of forced to do it
but every year Newsom
is like absolutely not.
I'm like, bro, since 16?
Oh, come on, dude.
That was in,
that was at 68, 1968?
Look, but he's gonna make
all these children get vaccinated.
You heard what he's doing now?
Yeah, piece of shit.
He's gonna make all these children.
You got a fucking six-year-old
in a damn wheelchair or something.
And he's gonna make him
get damn fucking inked out
or whatever.
Nah, he's the worst.
Your children are gonna get vaccinated now
because of him.
No, not happening. But how do you get around it? I moved to Texas. Oh, you moved to Texas? No, he's the worst. Your children are going to get vaccinated now because of him. No, not happening.
But how do you get around him?
I moved to Texas.
Oh, you moved to Texas?
No, I'm not moving.
Trust me.
Then it's just going to be
y'all two want to show him.
Let me feel flying
every other month.
There'll be like two monitors
where the shit
won't even work right.
Ring in the ling.
Nope.
Ring in the ling.
Ring in the Lisa Ling.
You said it, okay.
No, but the thing with that, with the vaccination
for K-12, he wanted to say
the N word and the G word, but...
Yeah, yeah. You said the Ling.
The Ring in the Ling. The Ging, I would say.
What's his bad?
This guy's hilarious.
Let's diversify it a little bit. Let's brown out a little.
Brown it up. Take 19.
Action. What up, King of the Sting? This is David from North Wisconsin. I got a King of the Sting for you. a little bit let's brown out a little brown it up take 19 action what up king in the sting
wisconsin i got a king in her stinger for you going on vacation by yourself i'm heading out
to dallas this week i'm gonna catch me a cowboy game i'm gonna wander around the city for a couple
days with no one to get in my way and friday i'm gonna go heckle montez since the website made me
buy two tickets and it's just me i I might as well bring my bullshit, baby.
Yeah.
Let me know what you guys think.
King it, king it, king it, and king it.
You look like you're riding around smoking cigarettes with the windows up, buddy.
Why don't you take a break from that and go help Brennan with them ad reads because they're kicking his ass.
There we go.
Amen.
There is a lot of comments about your ad reads.
Buzz, buzz.
King it, king it. I think that's the second most comments is about like, what's up with Bren comments about your ad reads. King it, king it.
I think that's the second most comments is about like, what's up with Brandon and his
ad reads?
Ad reads.
People hate ads in general.
Well, here's the thing.
Ad reads, I got to do them all on Find the Kid, all on here.
So by the time you guys see me, I've done my 17th ad read.
I got you.
My friend Patrick, I went to school with that guy on the left.
Really?
Oh, they showed up to the show.
It was fun times.
When were you in Dallas? Just past weekend. How was it was great you like texas man um it was fun
about dallas man and this past week and this past weekend yeah i'm in dallas november 11th 13th
where what's his name almost got shot who talking about jfk he did get shot got shot you guys didn't
king hitter sting that one. Yeah, vacation by yourself.
Vacation by yourself.
It's fine.
King it.
I mean, you know why I feel that way?
It's because I travel by myself all the time anyway.
So I go to restaurants by myself.
I go to movies by myself when I'm on the road.
So I used to be like before, I'd be like, oh, this is uncomfortable.
But now I love it.
I love going to movies by myself.
So I don't have to deal with nobody.
It's just me enjoying it.
Exact opposite.
I travel with five dudes at all times. I hate being alone. I don't like hotel movies by myself. So I don't have to deal with nobody. It's just me enjoying it. Exact opposite. I travel with five dudes at all times.
I hate being alone.
I don't like hotel rooms by myself.
You don't like being alone?
Who hurt you?
I always have people around.
God, really?
Always.
Not me.
I love being alone, alone, alone.
Really?
Then why every store you have, you got somebody submissive in it getting ejected on?
Yep.
No.
Get massages in the philippines for seven bucks
that happened once yeah why can't you make it through one day without having semen you know
what i won't beat off tonight there you go oh it's a start it's a challenge i don't believe it
you know what i'm not based on me i'll make sure you don't you will no that's gonna help him what
are you talking about i'm not helping him he's gonna be like, you got socks on Theo? What kind of socks you have on? No, hold me accountable. Talk about that snake again.
What kind of socks you have?
Let me see you slide.
I'm just gonna play rep charge,
Dodge Charger revs on my phone.
Please, will you FaceTime me?
But Theo's like Tom Cruise in Risky Business.
He's just,
do, do, do, do, do, do.
Slide.
He just sliding in and out of his house.
Put the low records out to share.
King it, king it, king it, king it.
King it, king it.
Should we do one more?
Last one, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Oh.
Oh, it's Brian. It's like if me and Theo
had a baby.
This is Brian.
A little bit.
If you and me had a baby?
Yeah.
It's like Theo
if he was a history teacher.
Yeah.
This is Theo
with a jerry curl.
That would be nice to him.
That's hilarious.
What's up, King of the Sting?
This is Steamy coming from me.
I'm watching the trail of rain.
Just made it to the 2,000 mile mark.
You can see right here.
I got a King of the Sting for you.
I've watched the trail that long distance through hiking.
You about getting down and dirty in nature,
or you more one of the indoor cats?
Let me know.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
King it.
I'm a motherfucker ready.
King it.
I want him as my tour guide.
King it.
Dog, I took Theo on a hike one time.
He was slipping all over, man.
He wore soccer shorts and some fucking Skechers.
He was slipping all over the mud,
complaining the whole time. Because you lied to me.
I love camping. Told me he was going to
Wishamwell, you know.
We get over there, there's no Wisham, no well.
It's just uphill, mudslide, lava.
Lava?
The place he took me very much.
Rich people, it's where they take poor people to see
lava. This deal, look at this.
This is it?
Look at him laughing.
And he had cleats on this deep.
Who is this? Look at these thighs
on Theo. Is that you, Theo?
Oh, yeah, that's me.
That's you. How bad is your eyes?
Okay, okay, I'm sorry. My eyes are back.
It says Theo Vaughn with a eye
with Brendan Shaw.
I'm sorry. my eyes are back. It says Theo Vaughn with a high with Brenda's shot on my shark.
Get him, go.
I'm mean, bro.
Keep going.
Theo's lost some weight.
That looks like Ron White.
This is Ron White dealing with his alcoholism.
Very precariously.
You left those shoes at my house.
You still got them there, Doug.
I cleaned them up for you.
You're welcome to keep them.
I like that.
I like that.
Yeah, I appreciate you cleaning them for me, actually.
Is that it, Nick?
That's it.
Fun show, man.
Glad you're back, Mr. Theo Vaughn.
Happy to be back, man. Good to see you guys.
You coming back more? I'm excited
for your special, brother. I'll have you back next week or the week after.
Oh, yeah. When's your special?
It's coming out October 19th. Ooh, I can't
wait for you, man. It's going to be a big deal.
It'll be coming out. Check it out on Netflix.
October 19th, I think.
It's going to be great, man. I'm in
Vegas this weekend. New club, Wise Guys.
It's downtown Vegas for the locals. It is this Thursday, Friday, Saturday. The next week, I'm in Vegas this weekend. New club, Wise Guys. It's downtown Vegas for the locals. It is
this Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
The next week I'm in Brea. Brea
Improv is Friday and Saturday
only. Friday and Saturday next week, Brea.
And then the big one,
Dallas Addison Improv, November 11th
through the 13th. It's going to be a special little
night. I'll give you more details as we get closer.
Well, I'm going to a wedding this week, but next
weekend I'm at Comedy on State
in Wisconsin. All right, so
come check me out there. And then the week
after that, I'm in the Arlington Draft
House. Ooh, that was fun.
Me and Jeremiah are doing another
comedy festival.
Is he going to go bad on us again? A flyover comedy
festival, St. Louis,
Missouri, November
13th.
Jeremiah's going to be like, so Steve, why do they hate you?
Go.
Everybody go support Stevie.
Meanwhile,
you know we love Jeremiah.
Do you have more road dates or no, Doug?
Eat this unborn barbecued child
that got mailed here earlier today.
Scissor bros.
I got some shows.
Knoxville.
Oh, that was this weekend.
Actually, Baltimore, Maryland.
The Black Main, they call it.
Weird.
And then I'm out in...
How do you feel about performing
in some place called Black?
I feel okay about it.
Can you change to the Main?
I got Wilkes Bar, Minneapolis, Charleston, Burlington, Vermont, Baltimore coming up.
TheoVon.com slash tour.
Theo's like, come watch me at the N-word main.
All right.
Love you guys.
Love you guys.
Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight.
I got to go in and go hard in the paint.
I do not think.
I am in flow.
Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go.
I need a sponsor. I am a monster. Black rifle coffee. I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor.
I am a monster about to open up with this at my concerts.
Flow is contagious.
Brows are outrageous.
Thicker than girls that are Instagram famous.
Damn hungry.
Like I'm fresh off keto.
Seeing red,
like Andrew Santino,
every song I hit,
like the great Bambino.
Brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos,
but everything's going to be fine.
Hate on me.
I do not mind.
Theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times they sliding into my dms a couple of you
tried but couldn't beat him quit playing like nintendo ds you don't want to smoke like joey
diaz meaning y'all edible just got my eyebrows threaded and i'm feeling incredible britain son
hit me up he said it's too loud in the club. Can you pick me up? King in the sting.
King in the sting.
King in the sting.
Bee sting.
Rat king.
King in the sting.
King in the sting.
Got the bees in the trap.
Got the cheese on a string.
King in the sting.
King in the sting.
King in the sting. Bee sting. Rat king. King in the sting, king in the sting, king in the sting, bee sting rat king, king in the sting, king in the sting, got the bees in the trap, got the cheese on a string. Thank you.