The Golden Hour - Episode 158: KINGS and the STING
Episode Date: February 4, 2022Theo, Chris D'Elia and Brendan are back together and the guys talk clothing copy cats, bottle fed SteeBee, Theo vs Brendan in a decathlon/foot race, Theo's big rumper, hot homeles...s people, woke superheroes, all new Relationship Advice and KATS in the Wild submissions and much more! Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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So did you take her out?
No, dude.
We left.
Because I think if I even approach this girl, somebody's going to think, oh, this guy's trying to be a pervert.
Yeah, or get some meth.
Yeah.
Or sell her meth.
Yeah, or sell her meth.
Or you're a meth dealer.
Yeah.
So anyway, I think meth is, there's some hotties out there.
I saw.
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
Back off my broccolini.
Get your life together.
It is.
Don't touch me, bro.
I'm not touching you, dude.
You got to know yourself, man.
Dude, you should draw yourself and then look at it or something because I feel like you don't know yourself that good.
Yeah, if you think you, yeah.
I'm just saying it felt different taking it with him than saying that to you.
All right, man. Dude, go to an 11-inch. Bro. No, dude, you don't understand. No, yeah, he took it. It didn't feel like it was
Well go to an 11 go to a 11 and 12 year old
Basketball game nice. Look at the point guard. I love
That's you. I love when sentences start and you don't know
where they're going.
Even though you're talking.
That's kind of my move too, though.
I just start talking
and we'll see where it ends up.
What do you call them?
Pork chop?
What is it today?
Pork chop?
But Brendan's in it
in a cul-de-sac.
Brendan's in right back
where they started.
If you ever know anything
about Brendan.
I don't know.
I like this.
I like this.
I know.
I wish I had a good friend that gave me one.
Well, no.
Nick fucking said here.
And I said, okay.
Do you have any more size than that, Nick?
I mean, I just grabbed it out of the studio.
Oh, so it's not there.
Unbelievable.
It looked better.
It looked better on you.
I'll tell you what.
I'm going to get mine from Taft.
Yeah.
Maybe Taft will give me one.
Son of a bitches.
Fuck, dude.
Who steals someone's shit like that?
Little Dicky and Taft.
Yeah, Little Dicky, Taft stole your shit.
I've had people try and steal Thick Boy.
They tried Thick Boy Running Club, but they do Thick with four Cs.
Seriously?
If it ain't three, you ain't shit. How about but so but they can get away with it right because i copyright
and own three c's but they'll do two c's four c's shit though if you got the fucking four c's
or two c's it's like it's like you're wearing nike even if you spell thick correctly you're
kind of a bitch yeah you should open about four seasons and it's just fat people at a hotel
oh the plus size thing and over look at this shit that's hilarious bro and it's just fat people at a hotel oh the plus size thing
look at this that's hilarious bro that's obviously nick dude
it's clearly nick and chin's business here 100 went through and that shirt looks like a lumberjack for only fans dude that's what it looks like look at the guy guy's beard, dude. That's fake. It's Nick with my body, and then they fucking put in thick with two Cs.
That's what it looks like.
Oh, that's not your company.
Fuck no.
That's some bullshit.
That's a heavy mustache.
Wow.
A lot of hairs per capita.
Yeah, that looks like when somebody is on the meds, when it's a woman transferring over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That looks like the guy who's going to call in to do King of the Sting.
King of the Sting.
100%.
That's one of our fans. He's not wearing Carhartt, though. But this like the guy who's going to call in to do King of the Sting. King of the Sting. 100%. That's one of our fans.
But he does not wear a car heart, though.
But this is fucking, he's got, that's a Times Square of hair under there.
That is unbelievable.
That's how he got it.
Do people steal your shit?
Your merch is dope.
The Life Rips.
Yeah, everyone did tie-dye after I started doing a tie-dye.
Come on.
But is anyone copying the Life Rips?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, there's companies out there that do Life Rips.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. But I don't care. Yeah, there's companies out there that do Life Rips. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
But I don't care.
Fuck it.
Whatever.
Get it.
But fans will show up to the show with a King of Things shirt and be like, dude, I love
the merch.
I'm like, that's not our shit.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm like, look at the rat.
Oh, wow.
I'm like, that's not our shit.
They're like, really?
I'm like, no.
Bro, how much?
And Rife Rips.
Matt Rife did that Rife Rips shirt.
That was kind of.
Did he?
Yeah.
That's dicey.
That was crazy.
Actually?
Yeah. That's hilarious. I got to look at that. I don't care about that shit.. Did he? Yeah. That's dicey. That was crazy. Actually? Yeah.
That's hilarious.
I got to look at that.
I don't care about that shit.
Whatever.
I like Matt, you know?
No.
Oh, yeah.
I like Matt.
I just, that was kind of like.
That's funny.
I never saw that.
It felt a little blatant.
It's like when Jeremiah and Stevie did Good Friends for the Bad Friends.
Oh, yeah.
I have a problem with it.
Yeah.
Apparently Santino did.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Santino did.
I find it flattering.
Remember Santino, I think,
tried to maybe take him in a court or do something.
Isn't that crazy?
I think he hired a heavy.
Yeah, yeah.
I think he was going to kill him.
But hold on, though.
But hold on.
Stevie Weeby?
Yeah.
Bobby is his brother.
That's why it makes sense.
I forgot about that.
And I was like, that's kind of weird.
They did bad friends.
And then I thought, oh, wait, though.
That's actually his brother. So who gives a fuck yeah yeah and santino is like yeah exactly no
we're back to his brother now yeah they didn't want to help him out they didn't want to do nothing
and that kid's bottle fed still dude oh if he ain't getting people on only fans to come bottle
feed him i don't know who is that guy who stevie oh stevie. Stevie? Stevie with a B. Stevie?
Yeah.
I like Stevie Wonder, like Stevie.
Yeah, the whole thing is definitely, it's like hanging out at a preschool being around him, I feel like.
A little bit like a Chinese preschool.
Yeah.
It's dangerous.
I would not be shocked if he sleeps in a baby crib.
You know what I'm talking about, Chin?
Come on, Chin.
Speak up.
It's your baby.
How tall is Stevie?
I met him once.
He's too nice.
Yeah.
Right? His eyes are like too nice, too. He's too nice. Yeah. Right?
Too nice, too short.
Fourth grade tall.
Yeah.
And he's 50 what?
56.
I know he is.
Crazy.
Bobby's 50.
See, they started with good friends and then Santino kiboshed it.
Oh, there's no more?
And now they're called scissor bros.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, they just switched the name.
Ah, well, I mean, yeah.
But it's not even that they're ripping it off.
They're making a joke of it, which means you made it right right that's a good point if you're
like hey look we're we're joking yeah it's flattering whenever he copies my shit it's
flat all right it's not like he takes away from my business yeah yeah i mean what taff is doing
is taking away but yeah i hate to keep harping on that but yeah let's go after him well that's a
little you want me to go after i emailed the guy and he said, oh, we're big friends
of Brendan Shaw. Big fans?
I can't remember if you said fans.
Because who says big friends?
All your fans are personal friends.
I've seen them at your show.
They come in there, bro. They want to laugh.
They look like you.
I opened for Chris and I was flabbergasted.
I just freaked out.
There's too many fucking chicks in the crowd.
Was there really? This is not my demo. This is not what I do. Listen, I was flabbergasted. I just freaked out. There's too many fucking chicks in the crowd.
Was there really?
I went, this is not my demo.
This is not what I do. You know his.
This is not what I do.
Roar, roar, roar.
Yeah.
I went, this is not what I do.
His demo is a lot of extras from those suit commercials.
You know?
It's a lot of guys.
I feel like they didn't get cast in that.
Yeah, whatever opened for either of you.
Chris is all women.
Yours, I look in the crowd, they're all.
Ryan.
Wait, your demo. His demo's sad.
My demo's great, bro.
His demo's crying.
That's a good...
That's a lot of people, man.
Hey, it's a lot of sad folks out there.
Money in the bank.
Betterhelp.com slash cats.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
I don't know who my demo...
I can never really figure it out.
I know your demo's great, man.
Your demo's...
Well, now you're saying that.
No, I'm joking.
As long as they come out? Yeah. Fuck it, man. I don't give a fuck. Your demo is great. Well, now you're saying that. No, I'm joking. As long as they come out?
Yeah.
Fuck it, man.
I don't give a fuck.
Your demo is a blend of mine and Chris's.
Yeah.
You don't know that, Brendan.
Yeah, I've seen your shows.
I'll see him tonight at the comedy store.
It's a blend of us.
I don't know.
It sounds like you're just saying something out loud.
And that's coming from the guy who starts a sentence and doesn't know where it's going to go.
Fuck you guys.
How about that, dude?
I agree.
Let's start this show, bro.
I 100% agree.
Fuck you guys.
Hey, fuck you.
Here's my thing.
Fuck you.
Where have you been, you son of a bitch?
Where have you been?
Bro, where the fuck did you get me?
I've got that.
You know how bad it's getting out there?
It's kings in the state now.
Kings, plural.
We got a king over there.
We got a king there. I'm just saying. The one constant in the state. Kings plural. We got a King over there. We got a King there.
I'm just saying the one constant is the state.
Am I right,
Nick?
Yeah.
He didn't really say,
yeah,
he just laughed.
He said,
yeah,
he said,
yeah,
the old soft constant.
They call him.
Yeah.
They call him brother.
Damn.
What's going on here.
This is somebody,
this looks like a mix between you and D'Elia right here.
This is 100% a Brendan Schaub fan.
Yeah, this guy.
This guy looks like.
Is that the dirty mustache?
He's got the opposite of the Hitler mustache.
He's got no hair where Hitler had the hair.
Yeah, he's got the spitler, I feel like.
He's just going to be saving drool.
The hair under his lip looks like it should fucking be on top of the goddamn.
It's reversed. How's this guy fucking do be on top of the goddamn. It's reversed.
How's this guy fucking do it?
What's up with this dude?
What's he going to say?
The Sting fan, what up?
Derek Franco from San Jose.
Sorry, Theo.
You probably thought this was a different kind of red hat.
My bad, bro.
I got a nice little debate club for you guys, though.
A foot race between Brendan and Theo.
We saw the foot race between Brendan and Chappelle,
but we got two
white boys ready to race.
Theo versus Brendan.
Foot race. Who wins?
Better yet,
a decathlon. Physical
and with the academics.
Can Brendan do
the two plus two equals?
I'm the only one with a degree in here. Can Theo
show up to the race?
Fair point. Obviously, this guy's
talking to Brendan. He can understand what's going on.
Theo, give me
your back, my baby. Is he reading a teleprompter?
I mean, it's a good point.
Bienvenidos, amigo.
I'll tell you this. First of all, Chris
runs like a fucking ostrich.
Everybody, even though you don't
say it people know that dude i'm a bad runner but but i do crazy jumps and good jumps when i'm doing
jumps bro i got a box at home i jump on the box i jump off the box my cardio gets up it's phenomenal
i mean say what you want about the running i get it and i live on a hill and i fucking practice but
with the box jumps forget it dude i'm just I'm just saying. I jump over the whole box.
You run like an endangered species
got out.
I do.
100%.
You know what I run like?
The last one.
I run like the last one
in the species.
That's what I run like.
Oh,
no wonder they died out.
No wonder there's only him left.
Yeah.
It's awful.
I saw myself running on video
and bro,
I made my girl take it.
I made Kristen take it
and I was like, send that to me. I want to send it to the guys. I saw it and let me just tell you, I did not send it to the guys. I saw myself running on video and bro, I made my girl take it. I made Kristen take it.
And I was like, send that to me.
I want to send it to the guys.
I saw it.
And let me just tell you, I did not send it to the guys. You did not send it.
It was bad, bro.
Let's hold off on that.
I got to take longer strides.
Oh, you do short strides, huh?
Yeah.
I don't know.
You know what it is?
I'm tall.
I'm a tall drink of water.
I'm 6'2".
But a lot of it is torso, man.
Yeah.
You have a lot of torso.
And that sucks, frankly.
You're like a T-Rex.
Yeah.
Small legs, real big torso.
Yeah, but I'm broad, right?
Because you see my shoulders.
Most people just talk to you like this, and they don't really look down.
I feel like you're taller than 6'2".
I'm happening from here up.
You're taller than 6'2".
But, bro, you always want me to be bigger.
We're the same size.
That's a weird thing.
You have a kink about it.
We're the same size.
Don't same size people, dude.
We're the same size.
I know I'm heavier, but you don't want to be alone.
You try to make people be the same size as you.
A hundred percent, bro.
Yeah.
I'm with you, but only mentally.
I'm not the fucking physical.
I mean, no way, bro.
Dude.
Yeah.
You, I don't think you would do the wrong.
You wouldn't win.
I would think I would beat you in a race.
You'd beat me right now.
I don't have hamstrings.
Well, right now you'd win.
Good.
You came back now because you know that you would beat him in a race.
There you go.
I did see the video.
This shit looks kind of definitely.
It's hectic.
Yeah.
Sniper.
It looks like you ate the ham out of your hamstring.
That's what it looks like.
But wait, you are, do you run?
Do you run?
Yes, dude.
You do.
I run.
Don't say it like I should know you run.
You don't act like you're a marathon runner.
I mean, it's tough to tell.
He would be ordering an Uber at a marathon, dude.
You guys both, neither one of you guys can run.
I'm not, why are you even talking to me?
I'm not arguing that.
I don't run well.
I run well.
I'll give Theo this.
He is way more athletic than people give him. Like he shot a takedown on me and I was like, okay. I arguing that. I don't run well. I run well. I'll give Theo this. He is way more athletic than people give him.
Like, he shot a takedown on me, and I was like, okay.
I buy that.
Pull up that video of me on that trailhead again if you really need to,
if you want to see some athleticism.
Us walking down the mud?
Yeah.
Yeah, that was nice.
But what about, like, you push weights around?
What do you do for workout?
You work out?
You ever seen this dumper?
I was a jiu-jitsu last night, dude.
Oh, no, you got a dumper, yeah.
I used to dunk.
I used to dunk.
Yeah, I buy that with the fucking ass on you.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, forget it. You put a drink down on that. Oh, you got a dumper, yeah. I used to dunk. I used to dunk. Yeah, I buy that with the fucking ass on you. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Cheeked out.
Forget it.
You put a drink down on that.
Cheeked out.
Oh, I got that, what is that?
I'm a star at ass.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm cheeked out.
Yeah, you belong in a ship under it.
For real.
Can we get out?
That's you.
First of all, look what he's wearing.
That's you, bro.
You're in way better shape now.
Let me say, it's not starting good.
Is that Ron White?
Is that Ron White? Unreal, dude. better shape now let me say it's not starting good is that wrong is that wrong what unreal really goes hey we're gonna go to church later so I'm sure yes where
is this by the way by my house
Look at all the money.
It's not.
This is hilarious, bro.
It's shitty you put him in this situation as a friend.
Thank you.
I mean, bro, what?
Yeah, and if it's a decathlete,
if it has academia in it... You're getting stomped out.
Well, you thought academia was a nut in a dish.
Remember when we did cheeses and I destroyed you?
Cheeses? What are you talking about?
Who can name the most cheeses?
I got cheddar and that's it, bro. Cheddar
American. Hold on.
Cheddar American, Munster,
Swiss.
That's it for me, man.
You forgot that sweet red. Sweet red
cheese? Sweet red cheddar. He starts
doing brands. I get detail.
That's cheddar, though. That gets detail.
It's a sweet red from England, dog.
Yeah, don't get detail, bro.
You forgot about blue cheese,
by the way.
Look at that
Comestoga wagon right there,
that pull-up, son.
That's your ass right there.
That's it, boy.
When I got in shoulders,
you got in the back door
for real.
Oh, dude.
You got in the back door.
That's cool.
I'm jealous.
Yeah, well.
I am.
I'm a little jealous.
Yeah, I am too.
The only time it's tough
having a nice ass
is when you want to lay down
on your back somewhere flat
and you can't. But it feels like water's going up your nose? Yeah, that's no good. The only time it's tough having a nice ass is when you want to lay down on your back somewhere flat.
And you can't.
But it feels like water's going up your nose?
Yeah, that's no good.
That's no good.
And also, everybody thinks you're a pervert because you're thrusting your head across. Is he trying to fuck the ceiling?
Yeah, yeah.
What's going on?
Like, oh, look at this.
You're trying to fuck the sun at the beach.
And you're just laying there, dude.
That's the tough part.
Just trying to get your tan on.
Let's take a break from the Kings and you're just laying there dude that's trying to get your tan on let's take a
break from the kings and the sting i'm talking about chris delia and theo von because guess
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So, DeCathlete, I don't know. I think
I don't know what all the sports are, but
If it's like Squid Game, if it's Squid Game
between Chris, Theo, and I, Squid
Game's up? You'd lose.
Not a chance.
Well, the part you'd kill at in Squid Games is the last part.
You wouldn't even get there.
First of all, the tug of war?
Who's beaten me in tug of war?
Okay, fine.
I understand.
But also.
But it's at heights.
But remember who won the tug of war?
The guy who really knew how to play tug of war.
Yeah, but I saw the technique and I'm as strong as the other teams.
Now after Squid Games, you might win.
All right.
Well, that's cheating.
Yeah, well, I don't know.
Fair enough, bro.
Yeah, fair enough.
I like the honesty, though.
I'll tell you that much.
Look, by the way, this guy had to dress up in his police uniform just so he wasn't wearing Carhartt.
You know that, right?
He's like, that's all I got, so I might as well do it on the job.
This dude looks like the eighth dwarf essay.
What's up, King and the Sting?
Whoa!
This dude is a giant.
Are you kidding me?
Do you know how boss it was to hold it?
And then when it plays, he goes like this, and it's like, Jesus Christ.
This is like an Aqua DiGiorgio commercial.
DiGiorgio, the boss.
He looks like Emoji.
That's Metal Gear, isn't it?
Let me tell you right now.
Metal Gear Solid?
You can.
This dude's an NFT.
100%.
What's up, King and the Sting?
Yep.
This is Nate out in Eastern Washington.
I got a debate clip for you guys.
Would you rather fight with a messed out paranoid female or with a drunk violent guy who tells you he doesn't care what happens i've done both
of those things we know just a little insight the size of the meth that woman does not matter
she could be the tiniest chick spider right now when meth is in your system superhuman strength
all right well you guys love the show gang. Gang, gang. Buzz, buzz.
Honestly, dude,
if she's really tiny,
it's impossible to fight her
because you just like,
you know, you lose her.
So you're a koala.
Yeah.
I got there.
She's crying on her back.
She's in your shirt.
She's cracking your back.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
I have my opinion,
but I'd like to hear yours first, Brendan.
Especially Brendan.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's have Brendan
make up his own idea.
Because he's a fight.
I'm going drunk guy. I'm going drunk guy.
I'm going drunk guy all day. Okay.
Cause drunk guy doesn't have, you know, the wits about him, you know, distance, no matter
how big they are, if they're hammered, you're going to run circles around them.
A methed up chick, that super human, human strength, just titties all up on your back.
I mean, no titties really.
Yeah.
The titties are the first to wear out.
Yeah.
With meth?
Yeah.
You've seen a person like, you know, those before and after pictures.
This is a month on meth.
I've seen a neighbor on meth.
A what?
A neighbor.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I've seen way more than just a person.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you see them every day.
I'm saying, you know what I mean?
If you have a picture back and forth before and after.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They look, they look.
They're all shredded. They're all shredded. They look like a piece of pizza.
They're all shredded.
They look like beef jerky, but they're all shredded.
But thin.
But I say drunk guy, dude, meet me at 240, son.
You know what I'm saying, bro?
Bring both those bitches one in each hand, dude.
I'll take that guy down.
Meth people, you got to tie them up.
That's the number one thing.
Meth bring rope.
Don't fight a meth person you're going to lose.
Dude, there's things where people,
meth people will take the zipper out of their own coat
and beat you with it.
Yeah.
Also, their-
Zipper track.
Their cardio's insane too.
They're also, yeah, they don't stop.
Their cardio's insane.
They don't stop.
Drunk guy, he's slow.
Yeah.
You move out the way a little bit.
You're laughing at him.
You put him to sleep.
It's not even like you hurt him.
You just like put him out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you just, yeah.
Yeah, a drunk guy all day, 100%.
All day?
Meth?
All day.
Insane.
How about this?
Guy on meth.
No way.
Forget it.
Oh, like a big guy in meth?
Oh, fuck.
You're dead.
Commit Harry Caray on yourself.
Being up everybody.
You die anyway.
Yeah, a woman on meth I think is going to be a real, and some of them are kind of hot,
bro. I'm with you on that. I'll watch Intervention. In real, and some of them are kind of hot, bro.
I'm with you on that.
I'll watch Intervention. In LA, bro?
Early, the first, dude, I saw a woman on meth the other day at Starbucks, dude.
She was working.
She was beautiful.
This lady was beautiful outside of the Starbucks.
And at first I was there meeting my friend and she kind of looked over and I was like,
oh, this lady likes me.
And so I'm like on oh, this lady likes me.
And,
uh,
so I'm like on the moon,
you know,
I'm out there on the moon.
I'm putting American flag.
I'm like Theo on it. You know what I'm saying?
I'm feeling hopeful for myself.
And then I start realizing something's not right with her.
And I mean,
stunning,
like kind of coffee though.
Huh?
Are we sure it's math?
Oh,
it's math.
It's not a lot of maybe espresso shots.
So then what happened?
Coffee.
And she's sitting there just trying to tie her, just like, just braiding her own legs.
Tire sandals, trying to tie her own sandals.
Then I started realizing she's losing.
And I was like, oh my God.
Because then it's like, what happens to this girl?
Somebody's going to take advantage of her or somebody's going to like.
So did you take her out?
No, dude.
We left.
Because I think if I even approach this girl, somebody's going to think, oh, this guy's trying to be a pervert.
Yeah, or get some meth.
Yeah.
Or cellar meth.
Yeah, or cellar meth.
Or you're the meth dealer.
Yeah, so anyway, I think meth is,
there's some hotties out there.
No, well, in LA, the fucking,
there's hot homeless people,
not even just chicks.
Oh, we have the hottest homeless by far.
And you're like, did you just get homeless? But then you you're like he's too dirty to have just got homeless right but also
um they'll walk it like i was at the coffee bean yesterday you know how i you know i go there a
lot what you're saying yeah and uh guy walked in screaming the n-word just screaming it black guy
white guy punching himself in the white guy yeah so it was a white guy doing it yeah
yeah and punching his own face over and over again well that's hard hard he was punishing himself
yeah no but but but at least you know but it was like uh and fucking you know you want to like i
saw somebody there also that was like bro they were like don't be all like racist oh and it's
like oh no but this goes beyond that
he's not racist he's just out to lunch yeah the track is just fucked up and that's the last word
he remembers of his words yes damn yeah i don't know if i could i wonder what my last man was me
that's how it ends that's how the story ends yeah what my last word would be if i got all
sick that you know sick and you got one word left in the tank, what do you think yours would be?
And his was, this dude's was just the N word?
The N word, yeah.
Just one word?
He kind of trumped us.
Yeah, that's true.
It's tough to be bad.
I think I'd probably say Trump 2024.
Oh, yeah, that'd be good.
People don't know if I'm right or left, bro.
That's how it's going to stay, man.
But they'll push you if you do the. I know, I know. I don't want to. Far right or left, bro. That's how it's going to stay, man. But they'll push you.
Dude, they'll.
I know, I know.
I don't want to.
Far right.
Have you met far right Chris?
Far right Chris?
The woke is trying to push me.
Did he get real out there?
Oh, dude, I can't do it.
He fucking asked me to put on a mask.
I can't get.
I try to stay sane, bro.
He starts watching Fox or CNN.
Far right Chris comes in. I know, dude. I try to fucking. The bro. He starts watching Fox or CNN. I know, dude.
I try to fucking.
The woke gets you, you know?
The woke gets it.
Put on a fucking, don't say this, don't say that.
They should have like a woke superhero.
I wonder what that would be like.
Oh, bro.
Captain Planet?
It's fucking, yeah.
It's a trans Captain Planet.
Short hair.
Yeah.
A chick with the short hair
that looks like the Scooby-Doo girl.
Yeah.
It's called Captain Marvel.
Yeah.
Oh.
Who's that?
Oh, yeah.
She would be it.
She would be it.
100% if they made a movie about what?
Or Megan Rapinoe.
Who's that?
Soccer lady.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Who took the knee?
Yep.
Yeah.
Yep.
That's her power power that's her finishing
move she just takes a knee square boom sonic fucking red hats just flying everywhere pronouns
are her he is yeah just for yeah they just hit you with a pronoun yeah bam that's them them them
they there's is wow she's even look at that picture. She's literally, that body language is equality.
You know what I mean?
That picture drives me nuts.
The whole body language is equality.
It just drives me nuts.
It's all good.
She's good.
She's a good person, right?
Well, now they got the woman that's with the man genitals or whatever swimming in the water, too.
No, you got the Jeopardy champ, too, trans.
Wow.
See, that's a trans.
That dude's dominating.
But that's a trans thing that's okay, right?
That's fine, yeah.
UFC is a little different.
Yeah, brain trans is fine.
That's fine, yeah.
Not physical muscle shit.
You're talking about homeboy that jumped in the pool, put on a dress, jumped in the pool,
started beating all the girls' asses, though.
Not Leah Thomas.
A little bit easier to do that as a man.
I just wonder how, yeah, I don't know if you feel like it's i can't do competition
and the the head person of ncaa swim team uh like stepped down was like i won't partake in so that
was him and now he's her right yeah okay got it and dominating yeah of course did he switch to
get the championship yeah because he wasn't shit as a male couldn Couldn't place. And they should average out the two. Yep.
Pick a lane. Oh, right. Like
that's your record? Yeah. Yeah, got it.
You did good and bad. Yeah.
Ma'am, you did good and bad. Ma'am, sir.
We can't forget the past. Ma'am, sir.
Right. Damn.
Or they should... Oh, wow.
Oh, that's a Jeopardy person? Yeah, she's
dominating. Yeah. Bro, smart. Fucking
kill it. Daily double.
Yeah, she is the daily double.
No crushing, yeah.
Dang, bro.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe in the future, though,
everybody's going to be trans.
Yeah, you wish.
Could be.
I kind of hope so.
Fuck it.
Everybody's.
Brendan, look what's happening, Brendan.
We're talking about two trans people right now
winning competition.
Right, right, winning competition I think honestly
everyone should be the same
whatever it is
we're all evening out
the race thing is a problem now everyone's going to be beige
that's just how it's going to be
everyone's going to be a little Asian
everyone's going to fuck I don't know how long it's going to take
but pretty soon
it might be sooner than you think four decades we'll see it out of our windows more older we could
depending on where you live right i mean i'm dying but you think people will still yell look at these
beige in you know people still probably throw the n-word out there for sure yeah yeah yeah
your offspring would be in the window yeah fuck them are these am, Dad? With a huge ass?
And three mullets?
Look at these beigers.
People will call them probably.
Fuck them.
They're the same color as us, but we know where they really are.
We know where they come from.
Because then it would be, are you only a two-generation? That's what I sound like.
That's your son.
That's your son.
Oh, come on.
You didn't follow?
Is it my fault? All right. That'd be amazing. No, that's your son. That's your son. Oh, come on. You didn't follow? Is it my fault?
All right.
I'm following.
That's your fault.
Wow, that'd be amazing.
No, that's your son.
Oh, good.
And then he's like, oh, you're only two generations beige.
That's what it's going to be.
Yeah.
Right?
Oh, you're only second generation beige?
Right, right, right, right, right.
And then hit him with a slur.
Yep.
Beiger.
Hit him with a slur.
Yep.
But is it going to be as much fun if there isn't?
Because a little bit of racism is,
it's not racism,
but a little,
well,
a light racism
is pretty fun.
No, listen,
if you're playing Tekken
or if you're playing
Street Fighter 2
and you just want
to fucking,
okay, look,
I'm playing the,
dollism's beating me.
I want to be,
I want to,
in the comfort
of my own home,
be shitty to Indians.
Right.
Because of dollism. And he's Indians, right? Because of dollars.
And he's winning, right?
And you can't get around his long arm shooting at you or the fucking fire he's breathing.
Fair enough, okay?
But if you take that outside and then go to Starbucks
and you see an Indian
and you got your dollism shit going on
and this motherfucking long arm motherfucking Indian,
and this is what you do at Starbucks,
that's bad.
We can't do that.
In your own home, cool. Like, I'm gonna heat this scone like heat it with your breath you know yeah exactly
100 yeah oh why you have so much clothes on you know what i mean you can't be doing that but if
you're also group text trusted people fair enough yeah you leak some group text bro we've all had
crazy group text right you don't get canceled yeah but it's like you know you just fucking you
you know comfort of your own it's like i want somebody to be exposed because of a text and then have it be like
bro that shit was for my friend fuck you you know what i mean circle of trust yeah exactly so
how much so some racism is okay you think a little bit in the privacy of your own home right yeah
yes or with friends that you trust and love yeah like if you're losing to E-Honda and he keeps doing the hand thing.
A hundred percent.
I'll be mean to Chin.
All of a sudden he can't.
I'm just mean to Chin for no reason.
Or all of a sudden.
He has nothing to do with it.
Yeah.
E-Honda's not, is he Korean?
He's got to be.
No, it's Japanese.
No, I think it's a Korean flag, isn't it?
No, no, no.
No, because he's a sumo wrestler, right?
He's a sumo wrestler.
So it's got to be Japanese.
And the whole thing is that Brendan is completely racist.
But yeah, yeah yeah yeah
no i don't know equality equality yeah that's japanese well you know what he's not from anywhere because he's not real that's the point he's japanese you know what i mean they gave him a
japanese one yeah all right let's get into something here there's a guy right here still
have his tree up so drugs yo what's up brandon theo eric stevie weeby
bait club for you today here those guys the bait club is home remedies you know what's the craziest
home remedy you've ever heard of or that you know that actually works so recently someone asked me
if i've ever heard about putting urine in kids ears when they had a year. Told him, I don't know nothing about that,
but I'm having CPS.
Uh,
let me know what you guys got.
That's a pedophile direct in the ears or in a cup.
And then in the either way,
either way,
it's fucking weird.
Just don't put it out.
No,
don't put anything in your ears unless a doctor says,
wow,
there's that.
But then also if you get with a Latino,
like my girl,
my kids would be sick.
She'll be like,
Oh,
we got to, we got to to rub vapor on their feet.
I'm like, that didn't make fucking sense.
What are you talking about?
Your feet can breathe fine.
And then like my throat would be sore.
She's like, what we do is we heat up a lime.
We put lime in the fire and then you swallow the lime.
Oh, that sounds like an old American Indian.
Should do sage around the house.
Sage helps a lot of stuff, dude.
Sage will keep the dark spirits at bay,
and that's always been, I feel like, a constant.
Fair enough, but that's not really medical, right?
Yeah, not at all.
Well, but look at a lot of these guys.
Have you seen Dope Sick?
Man, those people are medical,
and they're all high on oxygen.
Well, that's Michael Keaton and actors, but yeah.
Well.
You know.
But I'll say this, dude.
If you're pouring,
your kid's going to be a freak when he grows up
if you're pouring wee-wee.
Yeah, you're pissing in his ears.
I can't hear you, all the piss.
You got to talk past the piss.
People are just like, what?
Yeah, if he's all pissed up, dude, if he's all pissed, he's at school, his buddy falls off the monkey bars and he starts spraying on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, wait, wait.
I'm trying to help him.
Get my ears, get my ears.
Yeah, he's like, I'm a doctor.
I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Get my ears. Get my ears. Get my ears. Yeah, he's like, I'm a doctor. I don't know.
Yeah, that sounds real bad.
And also,
this guy knows a guy
who did that?
Turn him in.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's pedophilia.
Turn him in 100%.
That's not pedophilia.
Also-
That's more than
light racism right there, dude.
That's where I draw the line.
I'll tell you this right now.
That was a white guy
who did that.
There's no way.
And if that's racist,
that's racist.
Well, R. Kelly peed on people.
Well, true.
King of P is R. Kelly. Oh, dude uh thanks all right man that's okay man that's our artwork that's a good that's a good that's good artwork who did that you i didn't i don't think i did i
did i do that it's good that's what's it called off my sentiment right yeah yeah um what was i
gonna say about the fucking god damn pissing kids ears you can't be pissing yeah but um no uh about the um i'm going skiing tomorrow you look like it thanks
you decide to get dressed now hot out dog i don't like wearing new stuff like the fur i don't like
wearing like an like adventure stuff the day like the same you want to break it in yeah i just want
to know what i'm gonna feel like in it before i get up there aren't you the guy aren't you hot
right now yeah i'm probably a little warmer i just want to know what I'm going to feel like in it before I get up there. Aren't you hot? Aren't you hot right now?
Yeah, I'm probably a little warmer.
I just had to take this off.
And this is your merch, by the way, and I love it.
Thank you.
So I'm going to keep that.
I am a little warm, but I'm excited.
Who are you going skiing with?
Ski or snowboard?
Friends up in Oregon.
Oh, damn.
You're going to Oregon?
Yep.
You were saying you want to go, but you don't know you want to go?
No.
I do want to go now.
He wants to go.
No, him.
I know what I'm saying. I don't want to do stuff a lot of times until i get there and i'm in it then i'm
like now i'm okay so so but you feel excited about this trip yeah oh so you do want to go i get i
struggle with that fucking all the time i don't even make plans because i get nervous what if i
don't want to go yeah you know what i mean oh it's the worst that's the most of my life i think a lot
of people are like that now yeah well especially with the fucking pandemic after that,
people realize what they could do at home.
Yeah.
You know?
People started businesses.
Yeah.
Cults and shit just at home.
Yeah.
You know, you don't have to go in the high grass anymore.
But to your point, I'm fine.
Once I'm, I'll dread going there.
Then once I'm there, I'm like, oh, I'm fine.
Yeah.
Once I'm there, I'm good.
Yeah, yeah.
But it's the anxiety till I get up there.
I'm like, oh, I don't want to do this. And I was telling Theo Once I'm there, I'm good. Yeah, yeah. But it's the anxiety till I get up there.
I'm like, oh, I don't want to do this.
And I was telling Theo earlier too about like,
it's the having a kid helps a lot of that shit.
Yeah.
Like.
You have no choice.
Well, but I don't want to go to Disneyland.
But if Calvin wants to go to Disneyland,
I want to go to Disneyland.
Correct.
Because I want to be there with him.
Yeah, I don't want to go to Monster Jam over the weekend.
Of course, of course. It's a fucking, the warlocks there man yeah well more go your network that's you networking they're their fans
yeah i was your merch i did sell a shit ton of merch out there that's your fans dude i mix
business with pleasure yeah this episode of king's thing with chris delia theovan and my thick ass is
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Um,
but what were you saying before that?
You were saying,
you were talking about skiing.
I'm excited to go.
All you see the chairlift is the most nerve wracking for me.
When that thing comes around,
it's just like,
God,
what am I going to do? It's almost like being at it's just like, God, what am I going to do?
It's almost like being at your own wedding.
It's like, am I going to do this or not?
It's crazy to me how high you get and there's no seatbelt.
It's not the right way to do it.
What if the wind picks up?
What if this fucking cable breaks?
And it does. People fall.
And you're trusting some college kid on a fucking internship
that checks the wires. They're not high? You work at a ski resort, you're trusting some college kid on a fucking internship that and he's gassed up on some they're not they're not high you work at a ski resort you're not high
oh no it's vape r us all there is fucking vaping yeah they don't yeah they're vaping for dinner
now two people have like four hits off of vape and then just go to sleep damn that guy just had
dent it's like their diets their meat and peas is a vape flavor. It's just like, it's getting real dicey, man.
Yeah, I don't ski.
I used to ski. I used to do snowboarding. I used
to fucking kill it. You didn't do a lot of that, huh?
I did all that. Yeah, I did all that.
I did all that. I did snowboarding.
Dude, you know we didn't do it. Don't sit here and agree with him
every time. Bro, why would I lie? What am I gonna
lie about skiing for? I don't know if you
skied in New Jersey? Yeah, I skied in New Jersey.
And it's a lie. And I also skied in Utah. You didn't grow up skiing in Utah I don't know. Where'd you ski? New Jersey? Yeah, I skied in New Jersey. And it's a lot.
And I also skied in Utah.
You didn't grow up skiing in Utah.
That's true.
That's true.
I skied in New Jersey and I skied in Utah.
No, maybe you wore a ski mask in New Jersey and got into some freaking crime, bro.
There's no skiing.
There's no skiing in New Jersey, bro.
I'm with you.
I'm on his side now.
Bro, I skied in New Jersey.
I skied in Utah.
Where at?
At Red Shatter Hills?
Maybe I didn't ski in New Jersey.
Where'd you ski in New Jersey? Maybe I didn't ski in New Jersey. I skied in Utah, though. Yeah, Red Shatter Hills? Maybe I didn't ski in New Jersey. Where'd you ski in New Jersey?
Maybe I didn't ski in New Jersey.
I skied in Utah, though.
Yeah, there you go.
I'm trying to think about how young I was when I did this shit.
I remember our fucking nanny took us, but that was probably in Utah.
Oh, God.
Rich, Rich.
Nanny?
Are you rich, Rich?
Dude, I got-
What?
We got rich, bro.
Not growing up.
Whatever.
You had a nanny for the gate.
Yeah, after we got rich.
Fuck you.
I got kidnapped two times, you idiot.
That's your fault, bro.
His nanny was his kidnapper, bro.
That's not my fault.
You got fucking kidnapped with a dump truck like that?
Bro, you got fucking, you got strength.
Yeah, but I didn't know at the time.
Nobody taught me anything.
You fucking loser.
Oh, they were nice to you?
They tricked you?
Chris is privileged.
Huh?
Chris is privileged.
You're rubbing your privilege in our face.
I don't give a fuck.
Look, look.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about this.
Look at him right there with his, probably his nanny right there having a good fuck. Look, look. Oh, yeah. I forgot about this. Look at him right there with his probably
his nanny right there
having a good time.
My nanny.
I'll brawl, dude.
I wonder how old she is now.
Look at his fricking nanny.
Oh, what's her name?
Probably.
What was her name?
Peekaboo Street.
She looks,
I look fucking,
I look lanky there.
I got a,
I don't know, man.
You gonna put on some size?
Yeah.
You look like a vape victim I don't like shit where you got it. Here's what I don't like. Here's what I don't know man you'll put on some size yeah you look like a vape i don't like
shit where you gotta here's what i don't like here's what i don't like i don't like the stuff
where you gotta get all the gear yeah it's too much i just that's why stand up is my favorite
shit you just show up there's no amps and shit you don't have to bring a guitar
you don't like doing shit though yeah but but if i gotta do it i'm just gonna show up You don't have to bring a guitar. You don't like doing shit, though. Yeah, but if I gotta do it,
I'm just gonna show up.
I don't need to get the mask and the skis
and the shit. You know what I mean?
You want plug and play. I'm in, dude.
I'm already there if I go. Brandon, don't agree with them.
It's fine. It's fine. Everybody's
different, and I like that about you.
I want you to fucking like skiing if you like skiing.
You don't go skiing that much.
That's what I'm saying, but... I ski when I can. Well, you skiing if you like skiing. You don't go skiing that much. That's what I'm saying.
I ski when I can.
Well, you can ski a lot more.
You can ski a lot more than you ski now.
I did ski.
I did sled recently.
I would like to ski more.
I'm going to say that.
All right.
Fair enough.
Really?
And I hope in the future that I do.
And I'm okay with wearing the stuff the night before, the day before.
I like that.
But I like that.
I like that.
I like that you break into shit.
Thank you. Thank you. I do personally like that but i like that i like that i like that you break into your shit thank you thank you i do personally like that thank you yeah thank you and you chill out man yeah chill the fuck out bro don't agree with him now i'm not i'm agreeing with
both of you in different times during different time depending on what you said that's how it's
supposed to be bernan always agrees with you um bro he agrees with you off screen sometimes. Off screen?
Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
After the show, he'll be like,
I kind of agree with what Theo is saying.
Sorry.
Let's keep it moving here. What's this guy doing?
What's this big fella saying? Bro, of course this guy's a fucking king of this thing. I can't even fucking believe it.
This guy's one of our
finer fans as well.
That's a pretty cool shirt, actually.
Was that old school Super Bowl?
What's up, King and the Sting?
Brendan, Eric, Theo.
Flexing that.
Chris is in the culture corner this week.
Flexing that Apple Watch.
My relationship advice question is, so I'm dating a girl that has a daughter and her baby daddy a couple weeks ago.
Sent her porn, like just random porn that he found on Twitter. That has a daughter and her baby daddy a couple weeks ago sent her porn.
Like, just random porn that he found on Twitter.
That's not his hand.
And so my question is, how should I kill the motherfucker?
Or, nah, well, um.
Nice.
I don't know.
It was just weird.
She doesn't want me to press him, but like.
Oh, he's got the lingo, too.
I might have to, you know.
Oh, nice.
Gotta say something.
That shit's just out of pocket, you feel me?
Yeah, I agree. So let me know what y'all think, and gang, the lingo, too. I might have to, you know. Oh, nice. I gotta say something. That shit's just out of pocket, you feel me? Yeah, I agree.
So let me know what y'all think, and gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
He goes in and out of being Mexican, that guy.
He's white and then Mexican and then white and Mexican.
Yeah, yeah, street, white, street.
He's halfway there.
Look, he's one generation.
Two generations, it's a wrap.
Well, he's beige soon.
This guy.
So let me get this straight.
His ex sent his current girls.
This will take forever.
Go on.
Sent his current girl porn, like a whole segment of porn?
His current girlfriend's baby daddy sent her porn.
Oh, wow.
Randomly.
And it wasn't like of him.
It was like some random Twitter porn.
But it was like, remember when we used to do this?
You know what I'm saying?
Like, I need context.
Yeah.
If it was just the link, way different than, yo, remember when I used to wax that ass like this?
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Do you not have context?
You don't know?
Remember when I used to go balls deep like this?
You know, like that piss shot?
Well, let me tell you something.
I feel like that's implied.
The fact that, well, look, the fact that this guy didn't clear it up and wasn't specific makes me angry.
He should have added more.
I need more detail.
He should have added more.
Well, I don't think you want more detail.
It could have been an errant text.
It could have been.
But you don't want the guy member. What do you want to know more? Well, no.'t think you want more detail. It could have been an errant text. It could have been. But you don't want the guy to remember.
What, do you want to know more?
Well, no.
I'm saying.
Because what if she could have responded back like, what?
Yeah, something's up, dude.
Something's up.
You don't just say this shit.
This is more than this.
And then he'd be like, oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.
My bad.
I sent you whatever.
This is like the show.
Black.com, you know?
This is like the first few episodes of the first season
it gets way deeper dude yes you know what i mean we're like we're like oh okay that's happening
and it's like in fucking season three we're like it was this the whole that's what's happening to
this guy and i hope that he knows that you know i'm saying if this first 48 we're not solving 48
hours i don't know what you're saying and i'm thinking about dope sick is really good but this
guy dude
I think you gotta
put a filter on it
urban him up
put a fucking
make him urban
put that shit on
world star dude
this guy right here
that's the thing
go a little more
to the white
or a little more
to the yeah
he's in the middle
it's too in the middle
if you're playing the middle
I'm not surprised
that's what people
are sending you pictures
of all the time dude
the middle dog
if you're more far right
that dude ain't sending
your girl porno no also yeah that's true that is true yeah typical but also it is interesting that
he does have the reverse hitler mustache as well so um what is up with the you guys
you're your fans their hair is so scared of your of their nostrils it's unbelievable get away
It's unbelievable.
Get away.
Oh, here we go.
Get out.
Mr. Ping Lips, dude.
He's a ping lip like me.
Bro, we got fucking wet ass lips.
That's Derek Andre, dude.
Somebody's, what is going on?
Derek Andre.
All right.
How beige is everybody?
That's what it is today, man. Is he white or black?
This guy could be black.
Everybody.
He's Puerto Rican.
You can't even hate anyone anymore.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
It's true.
But those lips, I love those lips, bro.
His name is Elon Shataman.
Okay, who knows?
Made it up.
Yeah, he's Chinese.
Alien, yeah, he's an alien.
Jesus, man, when does it end?
He could even be transitioning.
We have no fucking idea what this is.
Take me back 20 years when he can yell something
out of the window and be correct.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah it's just
like yeah you get it wrong now you whoever you oh i'm not that my bad yeah you i'm judeo-spanish
what's that you end up having a conversation with him and becoming his friend that
be enemies you want to get coffee yeah stay enemies title name stay enemies another hey brendan chris
the failed ugly brother of blake griffin and maybe stevie weeby this week nice anyways guys my name
is alan from toronto that's not his hand and i need a quick relationship advice for you guys
so i've been talking to this girl for i think let's say a year now his voice excuses not to
hang out so i need some relationship advice do i keep talking
to her we've been texting almost every day sometimes three to four times a day sometimes
just once a day and she always finds an excuse whether it's been work or just family stuff
do i keep going for it or you know do i seek attention from other women and go another route
with it so let me know gang gang buzz his hand. I'll tell you right now,
he's got so many jackets. He's got a jacket
on, all that shit. He definitely has no pants on.
It's Canada. That's Russian.
You could hear the words echoing off
of his legs. Yeah. You could tell
just by this, he has no furniture
in there. Yeah. Because it's echoing.
He broke into a place, obviously, to make this video.
He's in the girl's place right now.
Depending on what we say, he might kill her.
What do I do?
Sometimes we text all the time, once a day.
What?
Once a day?
Sometimes we text all the time, once a day.
Sometimes we text a lot, we text four.
We text four.
Yeah.
Sometimes I never hear from her.
Yeah.
I probably won't hear from her again after I kill her tonight.
I'm in her house.
Bro.
We text her one more time, then she die.
Bro, there is no freaking way.
There is no way.
This guy, let me...
He doesn't really know how life is, huh?
You got to stop.
It might be a catfish though, yeah?
If she refuses to meet with him.
He said they FaceTimed it?
He said they...
I did follow up with this guy
and he said they FaceTimed three or four times
and she always cuts it short.
Oh, bro.
And they met on Instagram.
But was she using the fucking Grinch filter or what, bro?
She's married.
That's what's happening.
No, bro.
She is not married.
She is either a catfish or she does not want to hang out with this dude.
Do you think that this guy...
Here we go.
Fuck, man.
Fuck you guys.
It's okay, bro.
It happens to me all the time, man.
Fuck you guys. Fuck you too. Fuck you guys. It's okay, bro. It happens to me all the time, man. Fuck you guys.
Fuck you too.
All right.
He is...
You got to not...
He's not a bad looking dude.
He's chilling.
I mean, his personality...
We have no idea what he is.
It's his voice.
He's every looking.
He's every looking.
He's good, yeah.
And he can do...
He can be anything.
He could be president.
He could work outdoors.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He could work indoors. This guy could do whatever he wants, anything. He could be president. He could work outdoors.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He could work indoors.
This guy could do whatever he wants, dude.
Underwater, above water.
This dude is an amphibian.
This guy probably has fucking glands in his elbows.
Who knows what's going on?
That's true.
No wonder your life's all over the place.
You're all over the place.
Also, give up on homegirl.
Clearly, she doesn't want to meet him.
Yeah, and she doesn't want to meet you.
Give up, bro.
The weirdest part about this video is, like like he's right in front of the door which is hilarious that he's
like just got home have to do this video like dude sit down first relax yeah he did it's obviously
snowing he came in what's going on he just came in from outside you could tell by his lips and
the jackets all the way all the way zipped up it weird, bro. But I like you're a pink lip brother.
That's me.
My lips are always wet, bro.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Come on.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
You can't say that.
Nom, nom.
That's mine.
I got red lips.
They're always wet, dude.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Nom, nom.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Red lips.
Yeah, dude.
This place has gone downhill since i left
well i'll tell you this this guy obviously you say something brendan
you forgot what you're saying i've been waiting 200 episodes for finally a female bro all right
here we go it's chins aunt there we go huh dude those chins are big i'll say that those chins are medium calm down
brother big to me hey king the same fam i need some relationship advice my boyfriend and i have
been together for about a year and a half now he's living with the mother of his kids and he's been
for a very long time and he's been during her whole entire relationship and
I'm
not okay with it. I've never been
and I don't want to go into year two
with this happening.
How do you guys help me convince
him that he needs to either move out on his own
or move out with me
because this cannot keep happening
for the duration
of our relationship if he wants this to work for the duration of our relationship
if he wants this to work for the best.
Thank you.
Let me get this straight.
I didn't hear the beginning.
Gang and buzz buzz.
So she...
You ruined it.
So she...
I ruined it.
So she's with a guy who lives with his baby mom?
Yeah.
Right?
She may have been dating a year and a half.
Oh, that's too long.
He's been living with her the whole time.
And he just doesn't... Well, it might be for the kids. It's clearly for the long. He's been living with her the whole time. And he just doesn't.
Well, it might be for the kids.
It's clearly for the kids.
It's got to be for the kids.
She needs to chill out, I think.
For a year and a half, yeah.
What?
The dad lives with them?
The mom lives with them?
The mom lives with her boyfriend, who's his ex.
And I'm assuming it's because of the kids, but also a year and a half.
I didn't know how old the kids are.
If the kids are like 14 and 16, again, I need more details.
I know.
That's my main problem with your fans.
They're nervous.
If he wants to solve this crime, we need more details.
It's too many.
It's too much information we don't have.
Would you say your wife have children elsewhere?
Okay.
Would it be okay if your wife lived there?
Hell no.
No.
I started thinking about all the free time, but no way. No way. No way. Hell no. No. I started thinking about
all the free time,
but no way.
No way.
No way.
No way.
No way.
No.
But not live there.
I really would like it
if she was active
in her kids' lives
and fucking does
a lot of stuff with them.
I think that's great.
But live there?
Sleep at night there?
Yeah, does he have to sleep?
Can the kids go to bed
and then he comes over?
How often is he seen with her?
Kids go to bed at like 8. How often does he stay in the night?
Yeah. My kids go to bed at 6.
Charles, not Charles, but
who's the guy,
who's the famous country singer?
Garth Brooks. Oh, no,
I got this. Garth Brooks.
We already got it. Chase something.
We got it.
Garth Brooks,
he goes over to his house after his kids go to sleep,
and he goes back over there when they wake up.
That's cool.
In between.
He lives next door with his other wife.
Garth Brooks?
Oh, wow.
Savage move.
So he's next door.
Kids, before they wake up, he's in the breakfast.
They leave.
He's all peace.
Garth Brooks?
Goes back.
Garth Brooks.
Really?
Yeah.
That's cool.
So he got a wife on the same land
but that's so much
he has so much money
this is different
I hope the kids don't watch this show
they know
maybe he's Chris Gaines at the house
gotta leave the guitar here
you look like Chris Gaines a little bit
thank you very much
I accept that
Chris Gaines is fucking ridiculous Chris Gaines a little bit. Thank you very much. Thank you. I accept that.
Chris Gaines is fucking ridiculous.
Chris Gaines,
also known as... Garth Brooke.
Yeah, Garth Brooke.
Garth Brooke,
also known as Chin.
Who's Garth Brooke?
Yeah.
Oh, that's right.
What's up with this one?
Look at this.
Oh, he's a magician.
He's a magician.
I mean, dude,
this is Chris Angel.
It's the same guy.
Look at the pussy chin.
That's the worst thing ever. Boy, did that... The pussy mouth thing. Yeah, it's the same guy. Look at the pussy chin. That's the worst thing ever.
Boy, did that fail. The pussy mouth thing.
Boy, remember he announced it on Saturday Night Live and just ate shit?
Honestly, he probably made so many millions of dollars from it, but for him, that's a failure, you know?
Her eyes are breathtaking.
Yeah, but that's a filter.
Come on.
That ain't real.
Hi, King and the Sting.
My name is Krisha, a long-time listener.
I love the show.
She's a tit owner.
I know that.
I just wanted to call in to get some relationship advice.
Praise God, brother.
It's more of like a generalization than actual like a specific piece of advice, but I want
to know your guys' thoughts on long-distance relationships.
Do you think it's worth it dating someone in a different town, or do you think it's
a waste of time?
Do you know anyone who's successfully dated long distance? I live
in a super small town.
There's not a lot of dating options here.
So I just wondered what you guys'
thoughts were on that. Thanks.
Is there any long distance you can see
through the other town like she can?
I mean, she obviously
has freaking GPS vision, dude.
Her eyes are nuts.
It's amazing, dude.
But I think long distance,
you're going to be on the phone all the time.
If you like being on the phone,
then it's great.
I hate it.
You like it?
You call sometimes.
You're a caller, right?
I don't mind calling.
But all long distance,
you're basically just...
I like calling more than texting now.
Just subscribe to OnlyFans account.
That's basically what a long distance relationship is.
No, it's not.
You're jacking off on FaceTime.
Just do an OnlyFans account.
That's your idea of it.
But you get to see the person, like you get to get away.
It depends on how busy and how full your life is.
If you're a fucking single person and you're killing it and you're having a good time, you have a good profession and you're in Pittsburgh and then somebody, you know, that doesn't often happen in Pittsburgh.
And then somebody, you meet somebody in San Francisco and they're fucking killing it in San Francisco doing their thing in san francisco doing their thing right you're both busy and you get away for a weekend every two
weeks and that works for your life then great if you want more than that which you do because
she's a female like let's be honest you know then it's not going to want more and i want you to ask
that question in your heart i want her to ask that question in her heart because if she asks that
question in her heart she'll start crying do you need more it's not enough and the answer is yes
yeah wow how about this just move move now and then it won't be long distance.
If he's worth it.
Yeah, no, I'm saying move before you even meet somebody.
Go to a better city.
To a bigger city that you want to be in.
Yeah.
And then meet somebody there.
This is your life.
This is your life.
I feel bad that a lot of women, and that's obviously Tom Brady not doing well since they
lost.
That's Tom Brady on meth.
Yeah. I think if somebody lives in a different town,
you got to be able to get over there and see them sometimes.
I remember lying.
I remember telling people I met this girl in another town,
and I never did meet her.
I just lied for like two years and said I was in a relationship.
That's really cool.
I like that.
It was catfish.
Yeah, before they had catfish, it was just me just lying to people about it.
And I'd make all these Valentine's cards and shit from her.
No, even for you.
By roses and shit.
And would you show the other people them?
Yeah.
Okay, at least you're like getting the credit.
Yeah.
You'd like write them yourself?
Like, God, Amy.
Yeah, I would.
It's very, very lonely if you didn't show anybody the art you did.
Yeah, I did.
Oh, look what Amy brought me.
If you do that, it's sad, but it's not as sad.
Well, people are like,
when is she coming by?
And I would always pretend
that she went by
on like that one bus
that would come
from the other county
and like come through.
And I'd pretend like
she was on that bus
and like fucking went in.
You know what I think?
You know what I think
it might be?
You're gay.
That's what gay guys do.
She's coming in
and I just don't see her.
You're gay, you idiot.
It's okay to be gay though.
But I think you're
just closeted dude
She's from another town
She wrote me Valentine's cards
Look
Theo that's your handwriting
If I was gay I would know you idiots
Don't you think I would have any idea
I would hope you'd know
I think you just came out to us on accident
The mind is crazy bro You have to admit it's crazy, but it's not gay
The mind ain't gay dude if I'm gay
It's not a big sometimes you ever think maybe I'm gay maybe I'm insane
Sometimes you ever stop and think what if I am gay you've thought about it
Okay, if you don't do that, then that's gay. Yeah, Because you got to give it some thought to know you're not that.
So if you're like, no way, secretly gay.
Yeah, if you're sitting in your truck, you just blast the heater and you're like, I'm gay.
Yeah, exactly.
Who's that?
That's the gayest.
You're well in the closet under the clothes.
Yeah, bro.
Well, sometimes you pour in the suggestions, the me.
Yeah.
That's how it starts and it's fun, but it's how it starts.
Don't be like, I got to check it out.
I have never seen gay porn.
I have never seen gay porn.
This is how you know, guys.
I'm sure a lot of men have wondered if they're gay or not
or had a moment where it's like, am I gay?
I'm stuck in an elevator.
Am I gay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A lot of times doctors will say,
when you look at pornography,
if you've ever looked at gay pornography
and been intrigued to really experience more,
then you may be partially gay, semi-gay.
All good, dude.
And all good.
Or if you're going on a ski trip
with a bunch of buddies in Oregon, it's all dudes
and you're locked in a cabin. We don't know, maybe there's chicks.
We don't know. There's chicks.
There's
chicks.
Chicks I know. Okay.
Now, speaking
of gay. What up, Kingdom of Sting?
Brandon.
Montez.
Stevie, if he's there. Theo, if he's there
Theo if he's not in a meeting
Chris D'Elia maybe
whoever else
Nick
got a king in the steam for you guys
getting
swole getting thick
working out
with your girl I noticed that when thick, working out, working out with your girl.
I noticed that when I'm working out and throwing weights and my girl's there,
I tend to just start staring at her ass, start fantasizing of what it'd be like to bang her out right there on the squat rack.
Is this a suicide note?
So, I understand that you're swole with your girl. Why rat. Is this a suicide note?
He's not doing well.
He's not doing well with your girl.
Why does he only have a hat on?
Because that's how they're doing it.
It's kids these days, man.
Working out with your girl?
What was his question?
Working out with your girl.
And that's his girl?
Oh, that's long neck.
They look very similar, right?
Long neck, pop one out.
He got a kid. No. Kid have a long neck? Huh Oh, that's long neck. They look very similar, right? Long neck, pop one out. He got a kid.
No.
Kid have a long neck?
Huh?
Kid have a long neck?
Yeah, it was born like six pounds, 700 inches.
They didn't even do it by feet?
Yeah, it was just like- The doctor's like, we don't do it by feet when it's like this.
He's just pulling it out of there like one of those magicians.
Handkerchiefs, whatever.
Extra neck.
Doctor's like, you have a seven pound ostrich. Yeah, just the lungs. This guy seems like definitely kind of a- Oh, whatever. Extra neck. Dr. Zell, you have a seven-pound ostrich.
Yeah, just the lungs.
This guy seems like definitely kind of a...
Oh, wow.
Wow, there's long.
You know that guy?
Before the drugs, yeah.
That's his cousin.
We actually have a...
We have.
We are second or third.
No.
No, get the fuck out of here.
That explains a lot, but are you serious?
Yeah.
No.
Stop it.
Holy shit, man.
Is this like your fake girlfriend?
No. She's real. There she goes she goes yeah that bus comes over here I see her every Tuesday yeah that's neck and that's
before what prom or something or maybe GD well let's hope so GD uh but no I think that guy I I
sometimes I'll say this if I see a man at the gym and his girlfriend's there, sometimes I get envious because that guy has a girl with them.
Maybe she's cute.
Maybe she also lifts weights.
But I,
if I used to go to the gym with my girlfriend and she came over and I gave
me a kiss or something or fucking hugged me,
I would fucking just squirm inside of myself.
So what do you think about that?
Cause I think I wanted to be single.
I wanted to be like, I'm doing my own thing.
And then she comes over and she's like, is everything okay?
I can help you, you know?
You need a spot?
Yeah.
It's like, I'm fine.
You fucked it all up.
Interesting.
And then I'm in the car with the heater on.
I ain't getting you.
Oh, wait, that's interesting because you're saying you want both.
You're saying you want the complete opposite.
I like the gym time solo.
It's your getaway.
You know what I'm saying?
You don't have to do everything together.
It's a little weird.
You don't have to do everything together.
But now if you were gay, it'd be pretty dope to have a guy who could spot you.
Oh, that would be really cool.
You know what I'm saying?
Get a gay buddy that spotted you.
I ain't gay, bro.
I'm just saying.
A lot of guys who are heterosexual say that a lot.
No, I think I don't have anything against that.
Working out with a girl, why not?
You don't have to do everything with them.
That's what I'm saying.
But, no, but I'm saying.
You need your separate time.
Yeah, no, I understand.
But you could do other things separately, right?
Like.
You're right, that's the only thing.
No, but like, I don't know.
Like, also, she's getting fit.
You're getting fit.
Fuck it.
Sure.
But what I don't like is the couple that's there
The one of them is over there cutting up the cutlet or something
And they're feeding them and they're just fucking a couple
And her tits are just hard as hell
That's a lot
That's too much
But nobody wants to be that
Shredded and jacked
Would you let your girl have a big buff trainer
She goes to him
She goes to him three times a week but it's at his
house bro the trainer is the first dude who's gonna bang your i know i know no you don't understand
my thought process on this you don't understand my thought process on that you want to get banged up
no i don't you don't understand dude if you want to i don't mean to say all this stuff and you
didn't mean to it's okay i don't find it disrespectful it's his wife no it's fine
I did say Benji
but it's okay
dude but it's fine
go ahead man
it's not gonna happen
ask him Brendan
it's not gonna happen
ask him you squirrel
four times a week
and this dude's just a dime piece
ask him you fucking corn squirrel
how about do this
do it seven times a week
oh
if it happens
you're playing with fire
oh I play with fire bro
and he's a heartthrob though
shredded shirts off all the time spandex giant python dick I hope so dude times a week. Oh. What? You're playing with fire. Oh, I play with fire, bro. And he's into heartthrob, though.
Shredded. Oh, oh, oh.
Shirts off all the time.
Spandex.
Bro.
Giant python dick.
I hope so, dude.
I bet it doesn't happen.
And if it does, we deal with it.
Oh.
Yeah, man.
We deal with it.
Confidence.
We deal with it, dude.
I've got so much other shit going on in my brain.
I'll deal with it.
You understand?
Oh, wow.
You do it.
She's not going to crack. If she does, your boy's still alive. Wow. And we'll deal with it you understand oh wow you you do it but she's not gonna crack if she does
your boy's still alive and we'll deal with it wow and i mean it and i mean it there you go trainers
hit him up in the dms hit my girl up in the dm let's start it's gotta go though this might not
be the trainer with your girl there's your girl right there yeah there you go middle finger in
the asshole you think you want that i like to hear
i like to hear i like to hear if a guy hit on her i like to hear let come on let me know let me know
dude let me know where were you the market some guy said something yeah let me know dude
yeah yeah why do you sell like smell like black pickle what market were you at huh
who's this guy is this a king of the sting thing or another podcast we're about to watch yeah of course with the beard bro you guys oh i know him you do i don't
okay okay i know him through instagram oh no i did i did a show with this guy one time i think
he's a comedian what's going on everybody my name is box of beats from los angeles california
this is my friend loopy loopy loop, Loopy, Loopy, Loopy, Loopy, Loopy, Loopy, Loopy.
And we want to ask you, can you sting it?
Beatboxing looping version.
Before you answer, check this out.
Oh, does he bring some fire?
The fucking, the face he made after the first loopy was the most insecure face
in the world.
I just want to point
the face.
He said the first
which was only a one week
Brendan by the way.
My friend loopy
loopy
loopy
loopy
Oh so insecure.
Bro.
Come on man.
Be a man about it.
What happened?
He's insecure right there.
You can see by his face.
Oh but it's looping.
He went before
he made fun of me.
Yeah exactly. But I basically dropped some fucking fire. That is Brendan. Alright let's see what he's insecure right there you can see by his looping before you make fun of me yeah exactly but is I busy and dr. we got that is Brendan all right let's see what's got you have an electric sip that's Brenda
that's egg no that's so dead take the sip first I mean the lights in the fact
you know fire we're in false for any beat in the beginning though. He's the first dude to fucking drop.
I'll go the dance floor with this.
He's actually got a good voice.
That's amazing.
This will be our King of the Stink video game.
Yeah.
And Brendan just stole a sandwich and a book, but he gets rid of the book immediately.
For 100 points.
Yeah, you can only carry certain things and get rid of the book.
It's like ditch the book.
Oh, that's ill.
This guy is very cool.
This guy is cool.
He's talented.
Oh, he drank.
That's so dick to drink in the middle.
What is he drinking?
Is that egg whites?
He's having a sip of something.
It's just ice, honestly.
I think he gets so jealous when other people are having something.
Other people are having something?
Yeah.
Oh, Brendan?
Yeah.
It's just his nature.
That was fire.
That was really cool.
That was good.
I expected it to go further.
Did you? A little more. No, actually. I expected it to go further. Did you?
No, actually. I thought it would do that.
You guys are lying. No, I'm not lying about this.
I thought it was going to be a little more to it. I didn't.
Wow. I like the...
That's one of his problems, though.
You don't expect greatness.
But I'm not saying that that wasn't
great or it was great. I expected
it to be about that. It met your standards.
When I see a guy like that, those
are my standards, yeah. Okay.
No, I'm not trying to be shitty, but he's, I don't know
who he is. He's just a guy who submitted
something. Usually people who submit
are not that amazing.
William Benner and King and Sting.
I'm just saying, dude.
Submitting has never been amazing.
You saw Little Brow's last week.
Fire. But I don't know him from submitting.
I know him from being Little Brow, right?
That shit is fire.
When I know somebody, if it's from submission, it's not there.
Dude, anything with an ambulance, I'll shake my dick to it.
Interesting.
I will snap my dick to that.
Yeah, we used to live by an ER.
So we'd always hear them bitches coming in, dude.
Guessing what happened.
People died.
Fire, fires.
Yeah, people died.
Yeah, we didn't have that much gunshots, but it was mostly fire.
Burns, burns from chemicals.
Ooh.
Chemical burn, animal attacks, domestic dispute.
That's a lot of violence.
Thank God your girl never visited.
Yeah.
Sweetie, maybe, no, she stayed home.
There's a lot of violence
uh thanks for the beat man i i think i just thought it was going to escalate me too yeah
i think if you had like a cool vocalist he could do like the beat for him and then someone else
yeah that was dope though it was dope yeah i appreciate it he's cool yo what up cats gang
wow i got a king in our stinger for you.
Had his thumb on the mic.
Coming from lower, slower Delaware, the LSD.
All right, here it is.
So.
What the fuck?
Dead animals on the wall.
Okay.
Hanging up.
Each one got a story, you know?
Uh-huh.
We got my first.
Oh, great, great camera work.
First buck.
There's a wall.
And a bunch of other collectibles. And a lot of head on? First buck. There's a wall.
And a bunch of other collectibles.
He had a hat on?
Where'd you shoot it in the city, dude?
That's unbelievable.
A bunch of other cool animals.
That deer had a ball cap on?
They're all deer.
How hard is that to hunt?
It's not hard because it could have been in the city or it could have been this dude.
He could have shot it in the fucking jungle
or wherever animals are
and then fucking brought it back, snipped the antlers off off and put it on there and then put his hat on it,
which is really fucked up if you think about it.
To take what the animal has, put it on your wall and then put one of your things on top
of your head over the animal's top of the head.
That's disrespect on top of disrespect.
So what this guy's doing is not good.
But he also went a lot of different animals.
Yeah.
And it was all tiny little deer.
Yeah.
It was all the same animal.
Yeah, I know.
And there was a squirrel's head.
And I think there was a set of Dalmatian ears on there.
That's definitely some dicey choices.
But I think I agree with you on that.
I say sting that because if you do get an animal,
yeah, you should, or put the animal's thing on your head. Like, out of respect.
Right. Out of respect. Like you're raising the capital. That's respect.
Yeah. But yeah, I think to hang a bunch
of stuff on it probably.
Yeah. Or if you saw the animal
and it had that on it, it's just too easy to hunt.
Here's my rule with hanging animals on the wall.
It should only be able to kill you. Like, you have a
giant bear on there. Good rule. Good rule. A fucking dope tiger.
Good rule. Yeah. A big ass rhinoceros.
Somebody with a knife. A crocodile.-ass rhinoceros somebody with a knife
deal yeah yeah a method with a knife yeah a clan member you know what i mean yeah but like just the
hood yeah yeah yeah with the head and um but yeah it's tough you can't eat the animal and wear the
antlers that's boss but like you know but also don't put like you know animals that can't hurt
you on the wall also if you have a place like that not no knock i know shit but like don't you don't put like, you know, animals that can't hurt you on the wall. Also, if you have a place like that, not no knock.
I know shit, but like, don't, you don't need antlers on the wall.
Those curtains were fucking $9.
You know what I mean?
Like, yeah, but I think now we'll, I will say this showing that you've, you've been
out there and got something good.
A lot of chicks dig it.
Um, and then you go, you want some elk sausage?
That's his move.
You can, but you can, and then you just write elk on your own dick and come back in the room?
That's a fucking move right there.
Boss move.
You didn't think about that.
You're right.
I didn't think about that, bro.
You should have brought your brain.
Come on, bro.
Three letters wouldn't fit on your dick.
That ain't your joke.
It's his.
That ain't fair.
You tell a joke, he finds it.
I even went like this.
That's insane.
I've always said, if you're going to kill an animal,
I think it should be hand-to-hand combat.
You go out there with a knife, and that's how you hunt the animal.
That's the way I think it's fair.
You go out there, and you hunt it hand-to-hand, man.
Don't be having those AK-47s
or heat seeking missiles
from the luxury of your home
I don't know man I use grenades
no I don't know
I don't know how I feel about that
I'm not a hunter
no one's a hunter here
I've thrown a grenade before
have you?
yeah I've thrown a grenade before
at home somebody had a grenade and I threw it who the fuck had a grenade in louisiana i'll tell you who a senior citizen
oh he's a war veteran well what do you think about this buckaroo and he had a fucking hot
made on him and a dude i'll tell you when he threw it actually everybody was at a ball game
and uh that's when he first showed it to everybody and then he threw it at like a livestock area
it was like showing some animals Some animals died, yeah.
God damn.
And when was this?
This was in 1995.
Whoa, so you were young as fuck.
You were 14, 15, 16.
You could throw a fucking nade, baby.
Wow.
That's gay.
And I'll tell you this.
As soon as he threw that bitch, he took his shirt off too to throw that bitch.
He got to.
Wow.
I would.
And did you yell out?
Did you throw one too or no?
Huh?
No.
You did not.
So you saw someone throw a grenade.
So I lied.
Did he yell out when he did?
No, no, no.
That's okay though.
That's not really a lie.
But I mean, I was right there, dude.
That counts.
That's a lie.
I did shake his hand after.
That works.
You know that grenade for Vietnam?
Yeah.
That's exactly what happened.
Well, it was one of the ones, not even with the drawings on the side of it, where they
draw the cool parts in.
It was the real shit?
It was like one that was just like-
Oh, like a smooth one?
Like one that looks like the lemon at the grocery.
Yeah, a smooth one.
They call that a cherry grenade, I think.
Oh, don't say I think after that, just own it.
I made that up.
Okay, well, I don't like anything
that's going on right now with this grenade.
Might be a cherry grenade.
It's a cherry grenade.
Yeah, it's a red cheddar grenade, you fucking queen.
That just made me want, that made me hungry, honestly.
You want cheese, huh?
You want to get a grenade, huh?
Let's see one more thing here.
What happened here, Nick?
This was just a quick Cats in the Wild.
Someone was at the gym
and saw Eric getting his steps
in at Planet Fitness.
Eric's going to be so pissed.
I know.
Oh, that's Eric.
Oh, that's 100% Eric.
That's good.
Why is he with gloves on?
That's how Eric walks,
right there.
That's how Eric walks
from his bedroom
to go play video games.
That is Eric, isn't it?
Unbelievable dude.
He's awful.
That's great.
Look at this dude who's behind and next to him laughing at him.
The other clown.
That's great.
Eric's like, oh, just because he's a big guy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's exactly why it's canceled.
I like what he was doing with his hands.
That was good. And we didn't have a topic for this, but I'm sure you saw this, Theo. god yeah yeah that's exactly why it's canceled i like what he was doing with his hands that was
that was good and we didn't have a topic for this but i'm i'm sure you saw this theo i'm sure people sent it to you some monkeys escaped just like in louisiana yep i got a lot of traffic a lot of
internet traffic on that well definitely a truck crash and the monkeys just jumped out a hundred
monkeys escaped and they got them all back i guess except for except for four. Ooh. Some dude sent me a video
and said him and his friends
were going looking for them
and they're just drunk at night
going to look for them.
Pretty cool.
Wow, those four monkeys
are going to start a business.
They're out there
with hats on and shit.
Yeah, they're all posing
for NFTs right now.
They're bored as fuck.
They're making merch.
Should we do one more
King of Sting?
Yeah.
Let's do it, man.
It's hot in here, eh?
Hmm?
Is it hot in here?
That'd be cool as fuck.
What up, Brendan?
Chinchilla?
That other guy?
Reaching out to you from that lockdown capital, Melbourne, Australia.
Oh, wow.
Another guy.
Joint bank accounts.
Ben Simmons.
King of the stinger.
Sometimes I just want to grab a burger without getting questioned.
Yeah.
Joint bank accounts.
You know what you think?
Gang gang, buzz buzz.
No, no joint bank accounts.
No, no, no no your money's your
money get yours whoa whoa guys i know how i know how hot i came in with that and i meant it put
your money where your wife is do bet on your lady huh well that's not betting on your lady though
that's just like being a being weird it's like just have two bank accounts right and do you give
her money every month no well she well, she has her own shit.
Yeah, who gives her money?
She has a credit card.
She has her own card, yeah.
Yeah.
And then also-
Yeah, what do I know?
I don't even have a lady.
How long have you been single?
So you just give her a stack of money?
Like it's fucking 1940s.
Like it's Goodfellas?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
I need this much.
No, you just, yeah, give her a credit card or something.
I need three inches of money.
I mean, sometimes the women work too, and they got their own money.
Fuck it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, bro, I don't know if you know, but times are different now. They can get jobs, dude. give her a credit card I need three inches of money I mean sometimes the women work too and they got their own money fuck it
oh yeah
I don't know if you know
but times are different now
they can get jobs too
I know
yeah no
for me that
joint bank account
that's weird
plus it's
extra work
yeah
you don't need to do it
yeah
this guy's clearly
struggling with it
that's my family family portrait it's actually cute drawing
that's how we got that's it nikki well there was that was an hour right
oh yeah yeah yeah they turn the heat on in this bitch i like the heat i love warm i really love
it i love it warm it's too hot i love it warm you know theo you look good with that around your head
like that really yeah you do that's where the rat Theo, you look good with that around your head like that. Really? Yeah, you do. That's where the Rat King came from.
You really look good.
Is that what, what's that Rat, why is that Rat King?
Yeah, pull up a Rat King pic.
The Rat King.
Oh, the wrestler thing.
No, from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Oh, is it from that?
Dude, it's identical.
And your boy gave him the nickname.
Oh, you did?
He ran with it.
Oh, it's very good.
People sent it in and mailed it in too.
People mailed him.
Oh, yeah. There you go. That's Theo Vaughn it in, too. People mailed him. There you go.
That's the Oman.
The rat can.
You got to get one for your nose.
That would be really cool.
That's going to be a big band, though.
And that's Brendan and Eric on your shoulders right there.
Dude, I started wearing those strips on my nose at night to breathe better.
Do you guys ever do that?
Yes.
Never.
How nice is it?
Honestly, it's fantastic.
Really?
And just that little strip opens up the airway?
It's incredible.
It's like going on vacation.
Wow, I need to get some then.
And how about this?
Makes every show better.
Your wife's better all of a sudden.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your fucking kid is not even as bad as he was.
Yeah, and this is coming from a guy without a kid or a wife.
I know something about this.
But I'll tell you, you get one of those, and then we take them off in the morning.
That shit's like coming home from the vacation.
That sucks.
It sucks to take it off in the morning.
Then the rest of the day, your nose is sticky.
Once you just wear it the whole day.
You'd be an asshole.
You'd be an asshole.
You'd be an asshole.
I used to have a guy that would come sometimes to our apartment and kind of polish up the furniture and stuff.
Because my old roommate had a lot of special antique wooden furniture.
And this guy always wore his when he came in.
It was very weird.
It's distracting.
But the ones, if you get the generic ones, the sticky isn't as strong.
And it doesn't get stuck on your nose.
Yeah.
It's not good.
But even honestly, sometimes when it flaps up, it still keeps this one open and you're good.
Like, I'll let my shit flap up and I'll just be like, I'm not going to fix it.
I'm still going to sleep.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Dude, it is.
I'll get one.
You should.
I'm sold.
You ever try two?
I got a big nose. You're a rebel. Really? I have a big nose. Oh, he's three. You try two? Try three. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Dude, it is. I'll get one. You should. I'm sold. You ever try two? I got a big nose.
You're a rebel.
Really?
I have a big nose, dude.
Oh, he's three.
You try two?
Try three.
Yeah.
Start right here.
Boom, boom, boom, boom.
How good can I breathe?
I don't want to breathe that good.
Do you breathe like your furniture's closer when you wake up?
His blankets are up to here.
That'd be so funny.
That's hilarious, Chris.
Where are you on tour, Chrissy?
I'm going to do Brea, and I'm going to do Irvine.
That's what I'm going to do.
Chris, Aaliyah, and friends.
We've got a February one, a February one coming up also,
and I think April, which is way too far.
But, you know, I don't know when this is coming out.
And I am, by the time this comes out, I will be in Atlanta tonight.
I'm in Atlanta at the Punchline.
I'm in Atlanta, and that is February 3rd through the 5th,
and then Sacramento is February 24th through the 26th.
Atlanta is tonight, Friday, Saturday,
and Sacramento is February 24th through the 26th.
Get your song.
Gang, baby.
And I'll be over at Florida.
Oh, you're doing shows?
I didn't know you were doing shows.
Theater.
Oh, Jacksonville.
Yeah.
St.
Yes.
Yes, I am going to do.
I got some coming up.
A lot of Florida.
St.
Petersburg, February 3rd.
February 4th, we got Tampa Improv.
I might add a late show there so you could check that out.
Tampa's awesome, Mark.
I love Tampa. Orlando is February
5th. I hate Orlando.
You can get those at theovon.com
slash tour. Then Rockford, Illinois,
February 25th and Chicago
Theater, February
26th.
Wilter, nice.
Come out and show Wilter, nice. Twenty-six, yeah.
So come out and show some love, man.
And Chris, thanks for coming in and being a part of our – Yeah, man, it's fun.
Good things today.
I really enjoyed myself.
It's good to be back.
Thank you guys for your support.
Kings in the sting.
That's it, baby.
Thank you, guys.
Love you.
King in the sting.
Back with the crew.
We got Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin, Brendan Piotun. Yeah, you know how we do it. Love you. This ain't the greatest show on earth and what you call that? Eric Griffin with him, he the Nate, dog a podcast
Yeah, the whole crew sick, it's the King and the stink
What up, Chin? What up, Nick?
Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin, just walked in and got it lit
You can't forget about Brendan, he still need everything
Thick, thick, thick, still got the bees in the trap trapping
Still the King and the sting, so quit asking
If you know, then you know it's a cat's thing
Ball and chain, hair swang like the rat king
King in the sting, back with the crew
We got Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin, Brendan, Theo too
Yeah, you know how we do it, so just tune in for the laughs
Theo said that he was on his way, but ran out of gas King in the sting We'll see you next time.