The Golden Hour - Episode 161: The Last Blockbuster
Episode Date: February 25, 2022Theo, Chris D'Elia and Brendan talk Theo's visit to the UFC Apex, meeting Dana White and memories of going to an all salad restaurant, Brendan giving up on words, Chris' Teenage M...utant Ninja Turtles knowledge, all new KATS Confessions, their favorite video games growing up, Blockbuster Video memories, a brand new show announcement and much more! Sign up at https://Patreon.com/KATSPlus for 2 episodes a month with Theo, Brendan and Chris. 1st Patreon episode drops March 10th!Get your King and the Sting merch at katsmerch.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This guy is...
You can speak up for your people sometimes.
My people?
I know they're not silent all the time.
Defend him, dude.
No, this guy looks like Christian at 45 years old.
Same height.
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
Back off my broccolini.
Get your life together.
It is.
Don't touch me, bro.
I'm not touching you, dude.
You know what I don't like is you visit the UFC Institute.
Was it the AP, what do they call it?
What's that bullshit?
It's called the Apex.
The Apex.
And you're acting all different.
You came here all tough.
The AP.
Brennan gives up halfway through a word.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't know what they call it.
API Center, Apex, Apex Predator Center.
Dude, you're part of the problem.
You went there and you're acting all different.
What are you talking about?
You went there, they gave you a black belt now.
All of a sudden, you're a black belt.
Dude, I want a Rery black belt.
I went in there, man.
They gave me a black belt, but it was just because you had to look a certain way in there.
That makes sense.
Not a black belt, a black belt.
Yeah.
It was a dress code.
Different.
Yeah, it was a clip-on belt, too.
Wow, that's weird.
I was not keeping anything. It was the front yeah a facade yeah a facade belt
and you've never been to the apex dude i'd never been over there it's called the apex center yeah
that's why yeah apex predators that's bullshit weird right relax you're already the guy you're
already the dudes everyone's cool yeah dude it was crazy in there they had um yeah i went over there and
they had it up making it up dude what did they have yeah come on we dare not dude you're remembering
sounds like it sounds awfully like the beginnings of making it up this is still and uh i can't remember as fast as other people
it doesn't work that well i get it it's hard to remember like dude if you ever tried to close your
eyes and think of what you're wearing it's really hard it's tough it's hard that's my word
oh that is no idea yeah like what pants you have on yeah yeah you look like that's a look
you give up halfway through words.
Bro, he does.
Yeah, he definitely.
If you ask him about anything, he'll cheat.
He cheats sometimes.
You got that?
Hey, were you there for them to scan your brain?
Why were you there?
I just went over there just to meet with UFC, just to see what it was like.
I got to go on a tour of the facilities.
Bro, after all the
tweeting you've done during the pay-per-views,
it's finally paid off. You finally got
the recognition you deserve. So wait, you went?
They just wanted to meet? It was cool.
Yeah, just wanted to meet. It sounds like someone's
trying to fuck. He's going to step in for Benil Dariush.
That's what they were talking about.
Dariush is bailing out of that.
It's Bobby Green.
No way. Didn't Bobby Green just fight?
Yeah.
And he won.
Wow, he's going against the Max Chef?
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
Like minus 12.
Wow.
You need a guy in good shape, though.
That's how they do it.
They could have put me in, dude.
Yeah, you went in there, and they just had like, yeah, I mean, it was just exciting.
I mean, I got to go in the gym where all the guys, you've been in there where all you guys
train or where they do like video shoots and stuff before the guys train.
Yeah, they have a physical therapy thing where if guys are hurt.
They had a guy in there in a wetsuit just dripping, just freaking.
On the aerodyne.
Yeah.
Getting ready for a fight.
Yeah, just burning off.
They had some other guy just taping his arms up.
What else?
I got to meet Dana White.
You saw Dana?
Yeah, dude.
Bro, he came in the room.
I'm sitting in there.
That's when you met him.
You haven't met him.
I met him before.
Oh, you have.
Okay.
Yeah.
At the fight probably.
I met him at the fight.
Yeah.
And he's swamped.
He's probably like, Hey, what's up?
He like comes walking in in the distance.
It's almost like, um, like a big, like, um, almost like a snowman kind of, you know, kind
of like a, like a snowman, but that went to like a, uh, like a snowman kind of you know kind of like a like a snowman but that went to
like a uh like a snow gym a lot of snow involved yeah but just not so a snowman just sitting in
the yard getting fat and drinking it was like a snowman that's like are you describing santa
yeah with no gifts no gifts yeah just came in Yeah. No, you remind me of like Kingpin off Spider-Man.
Like suit, bald head.
Yeah, kind of like if Gru had like a strong, like more athletic brother maybe.
Yeah, if Gru was on TRT.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe if Gru was just jacked.
From Just Pickle Me.
Yeah, I have a kid.
I have a kid, but he hasn't watched it yet.
Dude, we're trying to catch up, man.
We just saw Ferngully.
You got to start early.
Oh, Ferngully?
Yeah, we saw Ferngully.
Also known as Avatar Stole the Plot. Really? Same plot. up, man. We just saw Ferngully. You got to start early. Ferngully? Yeah, we saw Ferngully. Also known as an avatar stole the plot.
Really?
Same plot.
Oh, wow.
Think about it.
You're a conspiracy theorist.
Ferngully?
No, not at all.
You are though.
Those are facts.
But okay, but you're a conspiracy theorist also.
Maybe that doesn't have to do with this.
You are a conspiracy theorist.
Yeah, and he just shook my hand.
His business, some of his employees and business partners were in there.
This guy. Are you the next CM Punk? Are they trying to convince you to take wow dude how amazing would
it be if you trained and you got in the octagon dude theovan uh how i don't think i could get in
the octagon i think i could get in some regional or semi-regional no wait you could if it was me
and you no this is what I'm thinking, bro.
What if I came in, we're looking for an opponent for Jake Paul?
You're in, Theo.
Jake's been training hard.
But not grappling, my boy.
Here's a one-strike white belt.
I know, but let's do the thing about Jake Paul.
All the best boxers have come from regions of hardship and the worst cities and shit.
And Jake Paul has come from the worst cities and shit yep and jake paul has come
from the worst like online hater shaming shit yeah right that's just why he's winning this
monster it's turned him into this monster it's put that got that inside even though he's a rich
kid has put a chip on him like it's from the gutter exactly i know dude i'm good right yes
dude could i i could probably do the fucking take my job my job. Take Rogan's job. I think there's an opening.
Well, I think, yeah, I don't have anything.
Was that good insight that I had?
That was legit.
You should say it on Shop Show.
You could say it.
Yeah, I'm like, you know, Chris, do this.
He will say it.
I'll take it as mine.
You can, you can.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, dude, I just enjoyed it.
It was good.
Yeah, I just got so, I mean, I just, I realized last year it's my favorite sport.
Yeah.
You've been a fan for about six weeks now.
What was your, what was your favorite?
Wait, hold on.
What was your favorite sport before that?
NFL football.
Right.
Well, you don't have to say all those words.
Yeah.
I didn't assume CFL.
No, by the way, CFL is my favorite sport.
And I don't mind CFL.
Yeah.
No.
Ricky Ray, baby.
Look up Ricky Ray.
Is that Canada?
Yeah.
Oh, dude.
No.
But why, why is Canadian? Oh, because the rules are different. Because, because if you Is that Canada? Yeah, dog shit. Oh, dude, no. The rules are different. But why is Canadian...
Oh, because the rules are different.
Because have you...
You haven't gone way up north?
Have you gone way up north?
Those dudes are bigger than you.
Yeah, they're monsters.
They're monsters.
Why is that not
the most competitive football?
The fact that that's not
the most competitive football,
way, way, way north.
You know why?
Yeah, why?
No black guys.
Okay, fair enough.
That's a guy in the fucking thing, dude.
Yeah.
His hair.
This is amazing.
Bro, he's like the most athletic youth pastor in America, but up there, he's a quarterback.
Dude.
And they have to ask before you can tackle in Canada.
So it's like.
Are we cool?
Yeah.
And then they apologize.
And then apologize.
Are we cool?
Boom.
Sorry.
Yeah.
They just, they don't have the same athlete. So it's, you know, it's just like the WNBA. And then apologize. Are we cool? Boom. Sorry. Yeah, they don't have the same athlete.
So you know it's just like the WNBA.
No black guys.
They don't have anybody.
But they have the slowest twitch muscles.
You need fast twitch muscles, man.
Yeah, if I want to watch all white guys play football, I watch CFL.
Yeah, that guy.
But that guy's hair is in the NFL.
That's Ricky Ray.
He's not there anymore.
He's like, they went down south.
God, what a reference.
He used to have great hair, but then his hair is gone now.
60,000 passing yards in the CFL.
Yeah.
Is that good?
It's a 40-yard field.
I don't know.
Is that a lot for CFL?
Because all they do really is pass.
They don't run?
Because they're scared. They don't want to hit.
They don't want to hurt each other.
That's still like 15 years.
They don't want to hit.
They'll pass.
We used to play.
I remember I used to work at this place.
We had a place in our town called,
what was it,
Garden Dining or something.
Somebody opened up a salad-only restaurant, garden dining right are you serious yeah it sounds awful
it's like a 24-hour salad joint you want to go to a fucking late night salad place ham hung over
yeah yeah hey get out of the bar anybody else feeling the house oh? Oh, man, you know what I could go for?
Some fucking raspberry vinaigrette.
At the bar?
Hey, man, you know what I'm jonesing for?
A Caesar salad.
Bro, you're thinking what I'm thinking at the same time.
Croutons.
No, nobody's ever done that.
Bad business plan.
You guys have limited frickin' ability to envision different food ideas at night.
You are like a black pastor right now.
You're talking like a black pastor.
These are so many words, and you're getting to what you mean,
but you don't really mean anything.
That's what a black pastor does, dude.
And you know that.
I want to talk about this other place, but what you're doing is.
Ebenezer.
It's 100% what you're doing.
All right, all right alright They're just naming people
That aren't even in the bible
Ebenezer Scrooge
Came down
And there's always that shit
The one guy just yelling
He's not gay
What's that thing you always
I'm not gay anymore
Yeah yeah that dude
I don't like men anymore
Oh
I love a women's
I love a women's
I'm not gonna carry a purse no more
He didn't even know how to pluralize women I love a women's That i'm not gonna carry a purse no more he didn't he didn't even know how to pluralize
women i love a women's that's what he said dude that's how gay he was i follow that guy on
instagram he's still he's awesome yeah but he knows it now he wears hats that are like cakes
bro he's unbelievable yeah he is living on instagram andrews he called well he's living
his truth oh he's killing it yeah oh good man and did he beat it or is he still did he no he's in the fifth round even more he's in the fifth round
he's in the fifth round because doesn't he have a he posts about his girlfriend right
for us he oh i thought he was more gay now no i know he used to like a year ago and he had a
girlfriend we're like but you know what it is i want to get back to the salad place but you know
what this is you know what it is you go so hard in one direction that all of a sudden you all you got to do is just open that door peek out and
there you realize like if you go so hard not gay not gay i'm not gay i'm not gay i'm not gay fuck
this i'm not gay tattooed not gay yes i hate gay people you get all this hatred in your heart all
you gotta do is just fucking prop that door open there it is and you're sucking dick you know what
i mean yeah i get it that's what it is, dude. You're right there.
It's about that circle.
You start here.
No, the most not gay.
And then you go over and then gay.
And then what?
There you are.
Gay, gay, gay.
It's a loop.
It's not a line.
Not gay to the most gay.
It's a circle.
Not gay to the most gay.
Boom.
Right there.
That's the same thing, dude.
It's a loop.
It's a loop, baby.
But this salad place.
Oh, so go back to this. This is interesting. That's the same thing, dude. It's a loop. Yep. It's a loop, baby. You need a Bukkake video. But this salad place.
Oh.
So go back to this because it's interesting.
Dining?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was just like a,
kind of like a strip mall venture
that some people started,
but we would go there
after the football,
after the football game,
some of us would go over there.
In all salad place.
Huh?
Yeah, it was all salad.
You boys were just trying
to get in like summer shape?
Like hot boy summer?
No.
Like why is all a bunch
of men's eating salads?
It was a new place that had come into town.
I think people were excited.
It was this place called Super Salad?
Garden Dining.
That's also a horrible name.
Yeah, I mean.
Garden Dining.
I don't know.
We liked it.
Yeah, but how many times did you go?
Probably five, four, five times.
After every game, that was their spot.
Yeah, after, how many games are there?
Way more than four or five.
It wasn't his spot.
He was 10 in a season, but five are away, so four are at home.
They went every game.
Every home game to celebrate.
I like that we figured it out.
It was good.
They had a couple chicks that worked over there, too.
Well, of course they did.
Of course.
No men are going to work at an only salad place except for Andrews at Caldwell.
But the question I have is, how long was it in operation?
And not long.
We know not long, right?
I would say-
Probably just that season.
That season, yeah.
Just that season.
No, probably eight.
No, I would say probably 12 to 14 months.
Okay, not long.
And where was this place?
It was in a strip mall, pretty much a strip mall.
But what city though?
Oh, this was in Covington, Louisiana
or Mandeville, Louisiana.
Crazy that a salad only place
would be in Louisiana
when with all the fried foods.
Yeah.
Oh, people, some people hate it.
People drive by,
yell the N word at it.
Yeah.
No black people were there.
I don't know.
Trying to set it on fire.
No way.
No, it was like a, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the wrong place to call that not up
in here yeah yeah yeah yeah let's take a little break from king the sting and the wing because
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You forgot one ingredient. Like what am I going to do? I can't leave the stove.
Or maybe you're a podcast listener.
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order convenience items from grubhub goods on the app or online grubhub but i don't know what are
what interesting restaurants did they have by you guys growing up that's a good question um
well okay this is new jersey oh new jersey when you're in new jersey there's some good restaurants
in jersey yeah oh yeah well diners galore like fucking garden dining forget it dude new jersey
dude the diners in new jersey i wish in la they'd open up some fucking diners dude yeah they're
like they're all shut down thanks yeah so they're all shut down but there were even like two or
three before that and then now they're only open to like 11 but new jersey's got these 24 hour
diners that just the menus are like you need a bookmark it's like john grisham wrote the fucking
thing yeah it's like cheesecake page after page it makes cheesecake look like a fucking pamphlet
oh yeah it's page after page after page like john gruden's playbook the murderer always hides in
the sides yeah you can get fucking hats and shit just like it's it's unbelievable like i get the
sandwich and yeah let me buy a few remote controls you know what i mean like they just have everything it's unbelievable
and it's all banging dude it's all banging even the fish and some of the
not the fish you know it's always battered fish yeah and uh and also some of the menus even have
um i was at a place one time where the menus had um a little battery power thing on
the back and it would line up yeah that's lit that's lit though it's kind of cool people loved
it yeah i've been especially as a kid i've been into it we had a place i don't know if it's out
here gunther tooties have you guys heard of that no but you may it's like no bring it up that was
a dream you had no i swear to god you know you had a recurring dream about a restaurant no that's It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know if it's still there. You know the scene from Pulp Fiction where they're dancing and it's like
old 50s? It's that.
It's like an old school 50s diner.
Pulp Fiction was actually one of the shakes that they had
at the Garden Dining, I think, because it was like
a... It was like pulp from
oranges? Yeah, all of it was
like health-based.
But Gunther Tooties was like
a 50s... That's it,
daddy!
Why is there a different Gunther Tooties?
It's a T instead of a D.
That's the only difference.
He must be someone in depth.
No, I'm telling you.
And I don't know why my mom would do this.
It would be a very special occasion when we'd go there.
And they had Coca-Cola.
And you'd get like chocolate, Coca-Cola, or vanilla and put vanilla syrup.
And they had shakes.
I used to just get all them.
It's like, hey like hey mom now as a
parent don't let me drink six you know what i'm saying but it was a different time it was a
different time back there it was a y'all would go at a special time yeah birthday you know oh okay
gunther tootie was a cop in a 19 uh yeah carpe diem where are you yeah brennan knows that movie
because it's a movie i'm telling the place, that place was sick. And you sit in like, everything was like old school, like Corvette.
Oh, wow.
It was like those red seats, like a car.
I like that.
Historical venues.
Yeah.
Seems good.
American food with the 50s vibes.
Yeah, I like that, man.
And they have something at Disneyland where they also have that.
Really?
Oh, that's right.
Of course they do.
You can say that without even knowing fact,
but know that it's there.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Like that's, of course they do.
Well, they have like a diner there, like a 50s diner.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course, but I'm saying,
even though if you don't know that 100%,
you know that they do that.
But what about in Rome?
Do you think they have a 50s diner in Rome?
Oh, no.
Because they've never changed. Rome didn't have the 50s. They've also never changed. Rome didn't have a 50s diner in Rome? Oh, no. Because they've never changed.
They've also never changed.
Rome didn't have the 50s.
Rome still has the-
It's like ancient Rome and then today Rome.
Yeah.
And by the way, that's still-
What about the 10 AD diner over in Rome?
10 AD, yeah.
In Rome.
Oh.
They use it like a huge Flintstone.
You ever been to medieval times?
I had something funny.
I was going to say,
I was going to do a joke
and the moment passed
and you started talking about medieval times
and the rage I felt was just insane.
I'm so sorry.
No,
it's fine.
It's not even your fault.
But you got to go.
I know.
I know.
I missed it.
It's my fault.
The pool's warm.
It's my fault.
I fucked up.
but the pool's warm.
Jump in.
I know.
It's a new deal.
I often jump in
and as a matter of fact,
I'm in.
I'm wet.
I'm already in. I'm wet
But I missed the opportunity and it's fine. And now I don't even remember what I was gonna say
But let's get to what you're saying. Pool's warm. Medieval times. Who's been a medieval time? Of course I have. Of course I have.
I don't know dude. Dana White would beat everybody at medieval times. I think dude. I've been here. I've been here. It's pretty lit
It's cool. But after after 30 minutes like alright. Look if you guys are done being pussies, dude, Jeremy Renner sent a video.
No, no, no, that's Orlando Bloom.
Okay.
Yeah.
What's up, King of the Sting?
It's Austin here in Nebraska.
I'm coming at you today with a new segment proposal.
Let me tell you a story.
I was about 20 years old, a forklift operator,
made a couple bad decisions.
My house is on fire.
Dropped about 3,600 pounds of steel on my foot.
Steel-toed boots.
Chopped off half my foot.
So I'm coming to you with the freak show.
If anyone has any amputations, deformities, mutations, whatever the fuck you want to call it,
call in.
Give us a little story about your life.
Me, during recovery,
King the Sting and Fighter and the Kid
this past
weekend all kind of played a huge part.
He didn't name your show.
He never named yours.
Residual depression that came
with that.
He used to listen to my show when he had a foot.
Gang, gang.
I wish you'd show the foot.
Show the stump, doggy.
Oh, wow, that's a tattoo.
That's a sick tattoo.
Here we go.
Look at the guy doing...
Gang, 63 yarder.
Look at his girl's arm.
Check out his girl's arm.
She's hot.
Caramel color.
She's Colombian.
Oh, cute.
Get that Puerto Rican arm. She's hot. Caramel. Caramel color. She's Colombian. Oh, cute. Get that Puerto Rican girlfriend.
That's sick.
Dude, you know there's an NFL kicker who had a stub like that?
I think it's kind of cheating because he would have a steel cleat.
Tom Nipsey for the New Orleans Saints.
63 yarder.
Dude, ear pound me for that.
We should get off of school for it.
Ear pound me for that reference.
He'd have the fucking steel boot and then boom, just fucking kick the shit out of it.
That is kind of cheating a little bit.
Well, here's the problem with a steel boot.
You've been smoking?
I've been vaping a little.
Okay.
Here's the problem with a steel boot is that if something too much heavy falls on it,
the steel actually then clamps down and is more worse.
Dude, name a more out-of-shape kicker and go. Spencer J. Akowski. That guy's worse. Dempsey more worse. Dude, name a more out of shape kicker and
go. Sebastian Jankowski.
Dempsey's worse. Dempsey's worse
was Sebastian Monster. Well, how do you
know about the steel? How do you know about that?
Because it just makes sense.
It's science. I thought
that. It's science. So you can't
just because something makes sense,
you can start it out by saying
here's the thing.
Because it might not be the thing.
But what you do is, you sell us
some shit. That is true.
And then it might or might not be the thing.
That's because he's a cult leader.
He's not trying to get us to jump in your goddamn cult.
No, he wants us to think
he's a wizard. He's a czar, dude.
He's rezarded.
That's the truth. But he starts over here, he's like, you know what Iar dude he's resorted that's the truth but he starts over here he's like
you know what i think about jingle bells is yeah the thing is you know it you don't know if it's
christmas or not yes but you're sitting there if i can open it again yeah dude yeah next thing you
know you're buying a life rips hoodie and for no reason god or rife rips did you see those i didn't know
i don't know if that's true or not but that rife did those yeah oh wow hopefully not um i'll say
this man i think you got a kick if you only have uh could you date a could you date a girl with
like one arm like the shark girl one time in a um i knew it off of santa monica boulevard there we
go she had a so part of her leg Boulevard. She had a...
Part of her leg, she didn't have any cartilage
in her ankle. That's not bad.
She didn't have...
You don't really get credit for the amputee.
I'm talking no legs, no arms.
Let him finish.
Maybe she didn't have a...
She was missing an Achilles heel, dude.
I dated a girl...
I hooked up with a girl with a sprained ankle. It's not the same shit, dude. I can't dated a girl. Yeah. I hooked up with a girl that sprang to ankles.
It's not the same shit, dude.
I can't finish my story.
This guy picks us up in the uber pool of bullshit on every story he tells us.
Yeah, I do.
I do.
And we go on the, you go on a 40 minute ride with this guy.
Yeah.
I'm trying to tell you a good story about someone who's struggled.
I leave a tip too.
So this lady, she had a thing on the back of her foot that kept this part and this part
kept it facing like a foot.
Otherwise, it would just droop down.
So she had a limp leg.
I had no idea.
We go out to eat.
We're having a nice time.
How would you?
We go back to her motel or hotel.
She takes this thing off, right?
Okay.
Slings it like this.
Ooh, foreplay.
Breaks the fucking window in the hotel room.
How does this shit, like, How is this happening to you?
He's got some weird...
What is it with you?
Look at him!
Look at you!
I'm just saying!
I get it, but what is all this weird shit
that happens to you?
I don't even mean...
That's not her.
Come on, man. You can't just... By the way, he has legs. That's not her. Nick, you can't just...
Come on, man.
Nick, you can't just...
By the way, he has legs.
He's just buried.
First of all...
His foot always...
His foot's lit up the sides.
This dude doesn't have arms and his legs
and somehow he's still slightly more attractive than Nick.
I'm just joking, Nick.
Nick's a handsome guy, but I had to say that. I just didn't know what else to say. Me, I saw what I had just joking. They're going to have some guy.
But I had to say that.
I just didn't know what else to say.
You can just fucking speak up for your people sometimes.
My people?
I know they're not silent all the time.
You got to fucking defend him, dude.
This guy looks like Christian at 45 years old.
Same height.
The short king. The short king.
The short king.
Yeah, Christian would be the short king.
Oh, fuck.
The crowd's so happy.
Wait, why did you?
Who is that?
That's Nick Vizichovich.
Oh, the dude.
The dude who speaks at the thing?
Yeah.
Churches.
The guy's lit, dude. He needs one Church is sick. You guys lit, dude.
Dude, you're sick.
He needs one of these mics.
But Theo never hooked up.
I'm just saying he needs the Bill Bellamy mic.
Yeah, the TED Talk.
Yeah.
The Bill Bellamy fucking.
I'm saying, look at him.
He's unstoppable.
I'm fucking unstoppable unless you leave him in an elevator.
Dude, I'm just saying, we should have kicked down.
But, you know, I don't know if he's heard them all, but, you know, it's like...
He probably wrote them all.
He's heard them all.
Y'all are going to hell.
Dude, can you motherfuckers surf?
No, we can't.
No, I can't surf, honestly.
But he can't surf the net.
Y'all going to Hades brother
you can't say that and expect me not to say that
I don't
I was trying to defend them
ladies and gentlemen
hey I was trying to defend the fucking guys
wow we're being fucking funny
no you are I'm saying
I'm saying it's fucking dope we can surf
and you fuckers can't, man.
Not the net.
He's not going to get.
A shark's not going to attack him.
A shark would definitely go after him.
No, no, no, no.
Because he's like a seal.
He is sharks.
Like, all right, no limbs.
What about how did you see the shark get eat the fucking.
Bro.
Yeah.
You know, shark week.
They're like, oh, they don't like the taste of humans.
Fuck off, dude.
You watch this. Homeboy swimming. And you know how in shark week, they're like, oh they don't like the taste of humans. Fuck off, dude They're like you watch this homeboy swimming and you know on shark week
They always show the shark in slow motion grab the seal out of the one like this. They did it to the homeboy human
Yeah, no, you already know this. Yo, you've seen it. No, I just saw it this morning dude. Boom blood
Look at him swim the most Australian thing ever to happen by the way with especially with the dudes
That's a great one.
Look at him swim.
The most Australian thing ever to happen, by the way,
especially with the dude screaming. Someone just got eaten by a shark.
Oh, my God.
His video skills are awful.
That's a great one.
Yeah, no shit, dude.
What was it?
Was it a T-Rex?
Was he thinking of a sea turtle?
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No, stop.
Please, no.
Oh, no.
Vietnam is happening.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Shit, there's a family on fire right here
dude he's all somebody should do something oh no what are you gonna do i'm not i'm not
i ain't biting man anymore yeah yeah yeah that's what that is i don't like a human dude he uh that who is that commentator dude that's that's terrifying that's terrifying dude they say sharks don't like the taste of human
but what the fuck oh yeah what shark told you that yeah yeah but also i heard that shark go
yum afterwards so got any more i heard him say got any more that ain't garden dining brother i'll
tell you that's far from it daddy that's that shark's on my diet carnival sea diet i'm on the
great white diet i want you to stop the great white diet you real racist, dude.
It definitely does.
It definitely does.
All right, what do you got, Nick?
So this is actually a segment Chris hasn't done yet.
We have people anonymously send in confessions of things they want to get off their chest.
It's pretty interesting.
And this is the first one.
My favorite part is them trying to stay anonymous. From 1999 to 2004, when Blockbuster was a thing.
I used to play games or movies.
I already had that.
That didn't work.
And he bears and returned mine.
Is someone tickling him?
He started putting a barcode
on the actual disc.
What?
Is he a prisoner in North Korea?
He returned my 40 games
and went for $8.99,
a new game.
Gang, gang, buzz buzz.
What did he say?
From 1999 to 2002, he returned
40 damaged games to Blockbuster.
His game was all fucked up. He'd take
the new game that worked and give them
the games that didn't work.
That's a hustle.
Okay, it's a hustle, but why does he have so many
damaged video games?
What's he doing?
How many video games?
I had a bunch of videos
when I was a kid.
One was damaged?
Yeah, one out of about 20.
What's this guy do?
He's blowing them, daddy.
Using them as fucking doorstops?
I don't understand.
I think he probably lived in,
I would guess,
like a floodplain
or something that affected
a lot of stuff at once.
Oh, you're a detective.
Maybe he lived in like a dirt hut.
You are, you're a detective.
That's good.
That's good to figure that out.
Didn't you just go to the last Blockbuster?
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, I did just go to the last Blockbuster.
It's in Oregon, right?
It's in Bend, Oregon.
Fuck yeah, I knew that shit.
And it's still popping?
No, no joke.
I pull up.
There's a guy walking up to the night drop and dropping his videos in there.
Fuck yeah.
You go inside.
It's all the same.
It looks just like the counter kind of curves.
There's two people standing there
taking the little thing off of the thing
and putting it on the thing or whatever they're doing.
They got their duties.
They're still scanning it into the old computers.
I don't know.
It's absolutely insane.
Are they still charging people for late charges and shit?
I'm sure they probably are.
And the cool thing is they have all the different sections.
Do they have new movies, though, or that guy rented Tango and Cash?
I didn't see what the guy rented.
I did say I thought he was cool.
Wait, you can rent movies there?
Yeah.
It's functioning.
Oh, I thought it was like a museum or something, an archive.
Now, there is a place you could do a birthday party for children or adults in there.
I would do it, 100%.
Bro, I remember Blockbuster, we'd always return it late.
My mom would always negotiate with the guy,
like, dude, you owe like $300 in late fees.
My mom's like, I know, we just forgot.
So anyway, just let's get this one.
I'll pay next time.
She never paid.
Really?
Never paid.
Why?
And then they went out of business.
Yeah, well, creeps like you guys and this guy
killed the company then. For sure. So this guy's admitting Why? And then they went out of business. Yeah, well, creeps like you guys and this guy killed the company then.
For sure.
So this guy's admitting this, and then what do we do?
We're just saying like, oh, yeah, you're an awful guy?
No, we tracked him down and killed him.
Oh, wow.
He's been on the drift line a little bit.
He's just getting it off his chest.
He feels better.
Nah, bro.
Uh-uh.
You eat that shit.
You did it.
You eat it.
I think you go to the last Blockbuster and make an amends.
Yeah, return all those fucking 40 games.
Dude, people should go to the last Blockbuster and make an amends for all the shit, how they screwed over Blockbuster over the years.
That sounds like a good documentary.
Bro, I used to rent Twisted Metal.
Oh, dude.
Once every two weeks.
Buy it.
It's a video game?
I didn't have the money.
You didn't have the money if you were renting it every two weeks.
My mom would write fake checks.
Be cool, man.
Okay.
So that game was so fucking dope.
Twisted Metal?
And what is it?
Tell me more about it.
Twisted Metal was the best.
Well, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Because he can't do it.
No, I can.
The best was there was like an ice cream truck with machine guns on it.
Yeah.
And a clown drove it.
And it was just damage.
It was basically Demolition Derby, but with like guns. Need for Speed, but with guns it was just damage it was basically demolition derby
but with like guns need for speed but with guns and there's no racing right no no no no so it was
demolition what i said but like so and it was so fun dude it's video gaming that's what it was the
most playful that and golden eye yeah golden i was great but i like perfect dark better and i'd be
that's a job you can't shoot him because he's short. Yeah.
Here we go right here.
But I liked.
Twisted Metal was so fucking lit.
Why don't they bring it back?
They tried to.
They tried to.
I think that they went through something.
They were going to bring it back.
And then like something legally.
It's too violent.
No.
Or they said, let's do another Grand Theft Auto.
Yeah, maybe.
I loved this fucking game.
God.
That was my.
I never saw this.
I was always the semi truck.
It was very successful, but it wasn't like in the lexicon in a way.
No, it wasn't like Sonic the Hedgehog.
But it was like, if you knew games, this was the shit.
Remember the, what do you call it?
Hotel?
Top five.
Oh, look at this shit, dude.
I loved this game.
Graphics terrible.
Should we play this on an episode?
We should.
Yeah.
Wonder what games I played. What'd you play? I don this game. Graphics terrible. Should we play this on an episode? We should, yeah. Wonder what games I played.
What'd you play?
I don't remember.
You don't remember like...
I remember Contra or like I remember...
Do you know the code?
Up, down, up, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, A, B, select, start, unlimited lives?
Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Okay.
Yeah, we knew that.
All right, I didn't know.
Okay.
But we knew we knew that.
So wait, so Twisted Metal was awesome. That's's true i liked perfect dark better than golden eye remember perfect
dark do you remember that i don't remember let me tell you what perfect dark was so after golden eye
they wanted to make another james bond video game but they lost the licensing like a multiplayer
like it same thing okay but just the next generation they couldn't do it because of
the licensing with the 007 so they made made Perfect Dark, which was the same game.
But you were a woman that would shoot.
And it was just a better version of that.
I know I get it.
But bro, but if you're-
They were woke back then?
It wasn't a woke thing.
It was just like-
It sounds racist.
It was before woke.
But yeah, Perfect Dark.
It was before woke.
It was more like to be attractive to like weird gamers having the sexy-
Oh, the jacked off.
Yes, exactly.
So the opposite of- Ooh, okay. Like Laura Croft before Laura and this game was it was more fun to me than
What about you try it? Oh, yeah, you haven't tried it Nazi. You're not see but what about Roger Rabbit the video game that game?
Great game those kind of games make me sad who played Ali who played Oddworld in here
Those guys makes me never heard of that odd that. Oddworld and Abe, you'd push
a button, he'd fart. Bro, nothing
makes me more sad than
unsuccessful video games that came out in the
90s. That's so weird. That
fucking, that feeling of like how
it's not good and the way
the art is and it just doesn't quite click.
It's just like, look at this shit.
Oh, that game was great.
That game was good.
Double Dragon? Double Dragon? No, I'm saying Double Dragon It's just like, look at this shit. That game was great, dude. I'll tell you right now, that game was not great.
Double Dragon?
No, I'm saying Double Dragon was lit as fuck.
Wow, this stuff brings me back.
Me too, dude. Me and my brother were so into it.
You would drive everywhere.
This game was so hard, bro.
Dude, that looks like a seat.
It was too hard.
We stopped playing it.
It looks like water.
Yeah.
Why is it driving on water?
That's a road, dude.
Well, that must be the tough thing about a game.
How do you make a game where it's hard enough, but it's not too hard?
It can't be impossible.
Every game seems like this.
As long as you have it for a week and a half, you can beat it.
Yeah.
That's what every game seems like now, I feel like.
My son just got Mario Kart.
There's like Mario Kart 5.
Wow.
Super Mario Kart.
And does he do good at it?
Yeah.
Wow, really? But it's on Nintendo Switch. So the graphics are way better than what we have. Super Mario Kart. Does he do good at it? It's on Nintendo Switch.
The graphics are way better than what we have.
What is that?
Anybody play the Barbie game?
No, because I'm not a gay man.
Izzy.
Of course not.
I played this game recently called Cuphead.
It's the hardest game I've ever played in my life.
It's maddening.
I was losing my mind. The artwork on this game is so fucking cool.
Oh, I did see this.
It's so cool.
As an option to buy for my son.
No, you can't play it.
I mean, look how hard it is.
Oh, my God.
The graphics are nuts.
They're awesome, dude.
They're kind of awesome.
They're also real old school looking.
Yeah, well, that's the point, though.
Dude, anybody fuck with Angry Birds?
Not really. I'm addicted to it, dude. Look how well, that's what I like. That's the point, though. Dude, anybody fuck with Angry Birds? Not really.
I'm addicted to it, dude.
Look how hard this is.
Now?
Yeah.
I had to take it off my phone.
I found myself
playing it so much.
Wow, that's stupid.
I'm on level 700.
Yeah, but that-
My son's on level 40
and I talk shit to him.
Well, I guess that's good, right?
Yeah.
I actually donate money.
I'll give it money
so I can get more lives
and carry on with jewels. I'm trying to think I'll give it money so I can get more lives and carry on.
I'm trying to think of what other game I really liked.
What I hate is there were games I played that I can't even remember.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like a game you got for a weekend.
You have to go rent games.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
NFL Blitz.
Anybody?
Had Cordell Stewart on the front cover?
NFL Blitz was awesome.
Cordell Stewart allegedly.
NBA Jam.
Stop that.
No, I'm just saying no.
You know who started that?
Homeboy.
Started what?
Chris?
Started that.
No, not Chris.
The guy who's now
apparently came out as gay.
Frank Caliendo?
I don't like men's anymore.
Remember him?
He said Cordell Stewart is gay.
Really?
Cordell Stewart's
University of Colorado alumni.
Someone defends the death.
He sued him and won.
Cordell Stewart's married with kids.
He started that rumor.
He sued-
Like a women's?
Yeah.
Really?
Really?
Yep.
What are the odds?
Why did that guy say that Cordell Stewart was gay?
I don't know.
But he got sued, defamation of character.
Jerry Olshansky.
I used to have a Jerry Olshansky jersey.
I'll say this, dude.
People was getting blown jobs in
Schenley Park over there. Yeah, but
Cordell wasn't there. I'm not saying he was,
but here's the problem.
Everybody in Pittsburgh wears a jersey.
So that's
one of the issues you run into, dude.
It could be a homeless dude. It's a Terry Bradshaw
jersey. It could be a
homeless woman.
Told you, Brendan. Is yeah why you sit over there
let's take another little break man we get right back to the show the king the sting in the wing
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That's what you get when you're not that good.
It gives up on you.
You don't rock any jerse up on you. You don't rock
any jerseys, Theo?
You don't rock any jerseys ever?
You can talk so much shit about me, I can't.
Yeah, let's get him. He's out right now.
Get his ass. Look at him, dude.
He can't do anything. Come on, guys.
I feel bad right now. Hey, your mom
didn't give you any lunch money today, huh, kid?
Fuck. Yeah.
Yeah. Theo, did you have you obviously you had a
nintendo super nintendo do you have like the sega genesis do you have the god damn
chin come on dude you guys built this i'll give him a minute i'll give him a minute
fucking get over there i love how you're watching him do it you know how to do it
i like how meatballs trying to get involved yeah look at this you're watching him do it because you know how to do it I like how Meatball's trying to get involved
yeah look at this dude
you're not aging
that's a small king bro
good work man
nice dude thanks guys
and we're back
should we talk about the thing
the thing coming up for us
oh how you can only watch Theo Chris
and the thick boy on Patreon?
Yep.
We really should talk about it.
Two episodes a month, we'll be on Patreon.
Two episodes a month, we got Patreon, yeah.
Yeah.
Go break it down.
Kind of a big deal.
The new goal is to do two episodes a month on Patreon, Nick.
With just us three.
With the new title, King and the Sting.
King, the Sting, and the Wing.
That's right.
We'll have a new set.
It's going to be popping. We have a full shoot after this.
Why the Wing?
Why do you call yourself the Wing? Eagle, the eagle thing.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, yeah, it's going to be like that.
And there's going to be two episodes on Patreon
and two episodes not on Patreon on YouTube.
Two will still be free, available on the King and the Sting YouTube.
And then the other two with just the three
of us will be on Patreon. On on filter whatever that means it will be nice to not have
to do the exposing government secrets and it's just owning our shit man yeah not working for
the man yeah yeah yeah yeah it's exciting man so we're excited chris that you're coming to
uh join the crew king of this thing in the the wing. King of the sting in the wing.
I appreciate it.
Our merch won't be popping.
Oh, I know.
Yeah.
I can't wait for it.
And let me tell you something right now.
This is just the beginning, isn't it?
It is.
Isn't it?
This is the hustle.
Yeah.
There's so many things that we can fucking do.
Like what, Chris?
Well, we could end up doing a tour.
Who knows?
And infiltrate the government.
We could raid the Capitol.
We could infiltrate the government, right? You the Capitol. We could infiltrate the government.
You are a conspiracy theorist. We have established that.
A lot of things are conspiracies.
That's true. I know what you're trying to say.
Theo's with me.
I'm not not with you.
Please don't.
Don't push me.
Don't push me.
Sometimes we're going to sit in different seats.
That's one thing. It's going to be a very musical chairs kind of thing.
The fans are like this.
Yes.
Yes.
And the reason why is because Theo thinks about things so much.
He overthinks everything.
That's why we love him.
Yeah, and he's just like, should I sit here?
Should I sit there?
That's why I made you in special.
And we're like, whatever you want.
And he's like, well, what do you think?
And we're like, I don't really think.
I don't think about it.
I really don't give a fuck.
He's like, but I've been thinking about it all night.
I guess.
Didn't you sleep about this?
I couldn't sleep last night. I have these diagrams in my
car.
How things go if I sit
in different places.
Oh, the oops grenade merch drops.
Is that out? Yeah, it's out.
Hoodies, hats, tees.
Collecting racks,
dude. That's what it's about, man.
Stacking those fucking racks
to a pyramid until it touches the sky, dude.
With friends.
With friends.
Yeah, with friends.
We're on top of the fucking pyramids like this, dude.
Yeah.
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
Soar.
Dude.
The three of us.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, dude.
Soaring on your back.
To the top.
Well, you guys also sound fucking insane.
You guys seem like the Menendez brothers, but if they were Gary Vaynerchuk's sons and they killed him.
I'm trying to motivate people.
But will we do king it, sting it, or wing it?
No.
No?
Leave the same thing? Fuck fuck that we're done with
No, fuck dude, I swear to God one day I was fucking chillin and I heard way in the distance
And I was like what and I looked and there was a film crew on my back
Shooting the Lord of the Rings
Dude And I looked and there was a film crew on my back shooting the Lord of the Rings. Because that shit is mountainous, dude.
What are you doing?
I think before he joins, he should have to answer to this.
Okay.
He sent in a sink my ink maybe a year or two ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, cool.
Hey, guys.
Just got out of the shower.
Don't have much time.
Obviously, I'm a very busy man.
But I heard about your new bullshit segment or whatever it's called.
Describe your tattoo or whatever kind of catchy thing you call it.
But anyway, I figured I'd be the first entry.
Yeah, I have tattoos, and I got them right here.
And I got these by Dr. Wu, who's a great artist.
And he did this.
Oh, I saw this guy at the Laugh Factory.
That's because I got that tired eagle joke that I have in my special on Netflix netflix man on fire definitely regret doing this podcast together you actually thought oh yeah i remember
that this part too i want i got them at that age because i never wanted to get them when i was
younger because i thought i would regret them much like you guys definitely regret doing this
podcast together you absolutely do i know it's been good though now you gotta own it you have
have to oh yeah right exactly i said you were ready now i'm on it you're you want to, you're doing it because of the money, and that's fine.
But it's a cash grab.
I'm like, my podcast,
congratulations, which is straight from the soul.
I don't do it for money.
I do it because it's straight from the soul.
Oh, really? What about the rack pyramid
that just happened a second ago?
That's for my soul.
What about the Ponzi scheme you just pitched in?
That's for my soul, though. The rack pyramid speaks to my soul. Money speaks to my soul. What about the Ponzi scheme? That's for my soul, though.
The rack pyramid speaks to my soul.
Money speaks to my soul.
I'll tell you guys this, dude.
What was that guy asking about?
What was that guy asking about?
Chest hair.
Sting it.
Should we do another confession?
This one's pretty good.
Hopefully it's better than the video game guy,
but that did take us down a cool path of blockbuster and video games.
That's the idea.
The submission's so bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get it.
Yeah, yeah.
The cool thing was you could go in to get a movie and you might end up getting a game.
You could go in and you would get a game.
You could be in there for an hour.
Your mom's waiting, furiously waiting in the car.
You get forced to choose.
You're down like 10 seconds.
She's hitting the horn. Oh, it's so fun. Yeah. You have forced to choose. You're down like 10 seconds.
She's hitting the horn.
You have to fucking pick.
You pick drama.
You pick murder, horror.
It was like, I love blockbusters. Remember they had posters.
And you saw all the options.
It was like, you saw so many options.
Oh, remember they didn't have the movie you wanted?
Like everyone rented it?
You'd be like, ah, fuck.
I'd go to the front.
Hey, you wouldn't return totally recall.
And they'd be like, let me check. We do have one. I'm like, fuck ah fuck I'll go to the front hey you want to return total recall and they'd be like
yeah let me check
we do have one
I'm like fuck yeah
I'll take that
a thing of Twizzlers
and the Freddy Krueger poster
mom pay the guy
with your fake check
that was so good
yeah Blockbuster
was nice dude
and one thing
that I don't like
also about regular
streamers now
you don't get to see
all the options
Blockbuster
it felt like you were choosing.
That's one thing I noticed.
I was talking about this on this past weekend,
but one thing I noticed about being at Blockbuster,
it felt like you got to choose what you wanted,
whereas with the streaming service,
it feels like you just served it.
It's an algorithm.
They're like, you might like this.
I'm like, well, I like some other shit tonight, man.
Right, like Blockbuster's like,
oh my God, there's all these options.
Because there's options you don't even think about.
Yeah, sometimes I was eight,
I'd walk out sleepless
in Seattle.
Yeah.
I didn't know I liked
that movie.
I got out one time.
Dude, Little Giants
and some fucking Raisinets.
And what's that movie
with Bobo and Little Devil
in it with those little...
Bobo and Little Devil?
Bobo and Little Devil.
No one watched
Little Giants?
Icebox?
No.
Al Bundy, The Coach?
I didn't watch that.
Nothing But Trouble. Nothing But Trouble. God, that was a good movie. devil no one watched little giants icebox al bundy the coach i didn't watch nothing but trouble
nothing but trouble god that was a good movie um i missed that one blockbuster i watched big trouble
in little china i watched other whatever you're talking about i didn't watch that that's
a great movie you didn't watch it bro my dad my dad was rich you were probably watching a lady
though we were not everywhere we were not with we were not rich what would you watch though uh oh shit man my dad was like he's like a fucking you know he's an abyss so he would
call me like he knows good shit i guess yeah but he would like show me like old movies or like
well that's boring like schindler's list and stuff no that was a new movie your dad would make you
watch like the godfather when you're seven no when i got like he he took us to go see uh what's that movie the
citizen kane in the theater like jesus christ yeah dude but i was older at that point dude
teenage mutant ninja turtles the movie mc hammer vanilla eyes go ninja go go i understand i saw
all those but let me tell you something dude talking about the lost boys and you can and you
can fact check this okay i'll just trade destroy you to end movies, but go.
What'd you say?
No, go ahead.
Okay.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
I was a huge fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Who's your favorite?
Really?
Bro.
Mike Angelo?
Yes.
And Raphael was my favorite.
He's the leader.
Raphael.
Leonardo was the leader.
Splinter was the leader, technically.
Leonardo was the leader.
Leonardo was the blue one?
Leonardo was the blue one.
And then Raphael had the attitude.
And Raphael had
the swords. No, no. Leonardo
had the swords. Donatello had the staff.
Donatello was the fucking intellectual one.
Michelangelo had the nunchucks. Hey, I already
know this. But you sound like you don't.
No. It sounds like we're figuring this out together.
I do know. Leonardo was the sword.
I'll break it. I know. You want to hear from a guy
who knows? I don't even care and I know. Leonardo was the guy with the swords. Raphael was the sword. I'll break it. I know. You want to hear from a guy who knows? I know. I don't even care and I know.
No.
Leonardo was the guy with the swords.
Raphael had the size.
And he would be like, I'm going to get.
Yeah, man.
The three fucking.
And then Michelangelo had the fucking shit.
Bo stick.
And he loved the pizza the most.
Loved pizza.
And then Donatello had the staff and he would fucking build the robot.
And he was the brains of the operation.
Yes, he was the brains of the operation.
And Splinter was the boss.
And then there was Splinter. Shredder. Casey Jones.il i got a brain the crank bro the brain and right my dick
it's crank okay now let me tell you something dude i love this show i loved it so much and i feel like
i just proved it to you guys okay yeah all right now let me tell you i didn't care about this
that's fine you grew up different i think you know what i'm saying so i watched the cartoon
i love the cartoon i loved it so much i I'm saying? So I watched the cartoon. I loved the cartoon.
I loved the cartoon.
I loved it so much.
Me too. I watched it all the time.
I loved the cartoon, okay?
Saturday morning cartoons.
Okay.
Now, when the movie came out, guess what?
The movie came out on my birthday.
It came out in March on my birthday.
So I look at the screen.
I see the TV.
You know, it wasn't online.
You'd have to see it on the thing.
I was like, whoa, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the movie's coming out on my birthday?
Ma, I want to party at the theater for tangerine turtles one lit so we
fucking did it okay then a year goes by teenage mutant ninja turtles 2 comes out on my fucking
birthday you're lying i'm not lying that's why i said fact check it so i say mom what did we do
last year it's a few years ago whatever it was i said we're going to see teenage mutant ninja
turtles and those bad boys in a half shell for my birthday again at the theater.
Those bad boys in a half shell?
So that was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2, okay?
Then Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 comes out on my fucking birthday.
I'm not lying, dude.
And then I say, well, at that point I was too old and I didn't go do that because I was too old and I didn't want to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
But also part three sucks.
But how about that, dude?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was for me, bro when you talk to me about turtle so when you turn me and you
say the brain guy i correct that ass by saying crank okay i'll give you that i only do bumps
with the right hand all right crank crank and rat king was in there yeah hell yeah casey
jones bro birthday the trilogy the trilogy t the trilogy, Tidget and the Turtle, birthday? Forget it.
Yeah, that is lit.
March 22nd, March 30th, and what was the other one?
I don't know.
Did you have the toys, too?
I mean, they're not going to come out.
The movies come out on a Friday.
Fridays are different every year.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's true.
Did you have the toys, too?
Do I have the toys?
Add the blimp.
Add the blimp, dude, that you could carry them.
Add the blimp, you have to carry it.
Brendan, shut the fuck up.
Did I have the toys, dude?
Yeah.
I had Rocksteady.
I had Bebop, dude.
I had them all, dude.
You know, Bebop had Asperger's, was it?
Probably.
One of them did.
Look at the fucking dates, dude.
Look at that.
Citizen Kane.
That's a day after my birthday.
My mom said, good idea, but probably not happening.
We don't have the money.
You know?
Or any checks.
We went to the roller kingdom, and somebody somebody one of my birthdays got kidnapped actually some kid
got kidnapped by his stepdad for two or three days damn crazy he heard him or no i don't think
he heard i just wanted him yeah maybe just want to spend quality time i don't know the kid was
an idiot the cops beat the shit out of him the kid no the stepdad was the kid was an idiot but
he was nice i mean nice you know
we weren't even that close it was the time where you had to invite people
it invite like eight people so the you knew the first three and then i said it was like
now kids are into roblox you know i'm talking about i've heard about it
cory felden was michelangelo uh in those movies and I'm going to fuck off. No, no, he was the voice not the guy
Yeah, dude. I know so much about Ninja Turtles
Say something all four voices though. I don't I don't I'm going to his concert on Tuesday at the what?
We tell mens. Yeah, Leonardo
Well, he's in the turtle suit
Turtles in the half shell and they're green
Let me stick you didn't do that.
And he just.
No, but if he just.
I saw him like a vampire.
I saw him a lot at this past, at the studio one time.
Leonardo?
Yeah.
No.
Yes.
Corey Feldman.
Corey Feldman.
When the evil shredder attacks, these turtle boys don't get enough slack.
Dude, my girl, fucking Kristen, tried to make fun of me because I was like.
Turtle power. Turtles in a half shell. And we were watching. I was trying to show you. We were watching it recently. Bro, tried to make fun of me because I was like- Turtle power.
Turtles in a half shell.
And we were watching.
I was trying to show it to her.
We were watching it recently.
Bro, I love the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Don't get it twisted.
So I showed her.
I said, turtles in a half shell and they're Green Age Mutant Ninja Turtles.
And she was like, Green Age Mutant Ninja Turtles?
You fucked up.
And I was like, no, I didn't rewind it.
Dude, they say Green Age so they can add it into Teenage.
And I was right.
But let me fucking blow
your mind i'm not gonna be shocked it's called turtle power by the way and you can fact check
this okay the guy who made who created the jingle for teenage mutant ninja turtles is the guy who
created two and a half men wow so he's balling that's not that shocking that's not a wow
is it yes it is that guy's crushing that guy's crushing chuck laur chuck laurie chuck laurie
he made the teacher ninja turtles jingle dude wow he had that van how crazy is that that's crazy
come on have you seen the new one i don't know if it's that crazy.
I mean, he's successful in fucking TV and jingles.
Dude, that jingle is fire.
That jingle is banging, dude.
They should make a rap song with it.
Lil' Brow should do it.
You know how dope that would be?
What would be a good, what else is a good jingle?
Oh, you know what is really weird about that actually is, and I talked about this on Congratulations,
my podcast.
Like I need to say my podcast, you know what it is but i don't know what the fucking dude uh
um chuck uh how how did they go from t-100 turtles most banging fucking jingle to two and a half men
is just men men men men men men catchy the worst jingle no no it's terrible but it's still banging
at the end dude it's not banging dude would anyone watch the cartoon to come home from school?
It'd be Gummy Bears, Tailspin.
Oh, Gummy Bears.
They did.
No.
Darkwing Duck.
I'll watch it.
Darkwing Duck.
Let's get dangerous.
My family likes to watch drama, like afternoon dramas.
Did you see-
Gummy Bears title was lit too.
Never watched that one.
Gummy Bears, bouncing from here and there didn't watch
we are the gun in the heat of the night oh that's the movie drama yeah television
we would watch a lot of watch that in the afternoon when we got up from school the heat
of the night yeah sounds right there boring dog no boring what are you talking about look at that
you know you can just see that and know how many race. That's me and Chappelle on tour.
Look at the picture next to the group.
That's me and Chappelle on tour.
How racist is that show, though, probably?
With the red background.
We'll go on that one.
Uh-oh.
Right there.
Turtle.
Turtles in the half show.
And look, I'll say this, player.
That's Althea Tibbs right there at the bottom in the middle.
Oh, she bad.
And I saw her having breakfast one day and lost my mind.
You did?
When?
Yeah.
Huh?
When?
Probably about two and a half years ago.
God, what a different life we grew up with.
God, it was so good.
We grew up with lit ass.
We should do.
And here's the saddest part.
I know you guys are thinking about something else already.
No, I'm still thinking about that.
Yeah, I'm listening.
This man in the middle was Carol O'Connor
who also did Archie Bunker.
His son was the guy
on the left.
And he died or something.
You can tell that guy.
And the guy on the right
was also in
American Fighters.
But he was also in...
He's also Hercules.
Did you say far right?
Sorry.
I blocked out for a second.
You seemed fine, man.
You did hold up a unique flag while you were gone.
But that guy worked on, what's the fighting show?
On the far right?
No, dude, you're talking about gladiators?
Did somebody say?
Be careful, it's triggering.
What just happened?
I'm sorry, man.
You guys, we're good, right?
No, no, dude, that guy on the right.
Yeah, right.
He just ordered a white coffee just a second ago.
I'm good.
You ordered a colorless coffee.
American Gladiators?
American Gladiators.
I said that in five minutes.
You didn't say that.
Yeah, I did.
No, you thought you did.
No, I did, dude.
He's also Hercules.
All right.
That ain't Hercules.
That's Hercules on the far right.
It's Hercules.
I looked it up too.
I didn't see it.
I think that's Joe Millionaire too on the far right.
Joe Millionaire.
No, Kevin Sorbo.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Remember him?
Yes.
We used to get together at a place called Reno's in the valley and watch just me and
like old friends that you don't even know.
But like-
Yeah, thank you.
You know how you have like lived different lives?
Yeah.
We won't know each other in five years, but we used to go to this pizza place in the valley
called at Reno and it was called Reno's, and we would go and watch.
Horrible name, terrible name, Reno.
Well, it was the guy's name.
Is that not the same guy, Nick?
It's the guy's name.
No, that's not him.
Don't they look similar?
That's Kevin Sorbo.
I know.
Who is completely, by the way, do you know what he is right now?
Gay man?
Far right.
He's far right?
He is?
Yeah, he's got two right wings.
He's got a lot of good ideas.
What did he say? He's got a lot of good ideas what did he say?
he's got a lot of good ideas so we used to go to Reno's and watch that
fucking Joe Millionaire
every week bro
remember how big it was?
I don't actually
he was a construction worker
and he had a chance at a million dollars
or a woman right?
they thought he was a millionaire
and he was just a construction worker and dollars or a woman, right? They thought he was a millionaire.
And he was just a construction worker.
And at the end he's like, guess what? Just a construction worker.
And they're like, you fucking liar.
Did anybody get into Jerry Springer when it was first kicking off before we thought it was fake?
No, not really.
I saw it, but I was never into it.
Your dad will let you watch it?
My dad looks like Jerry Springer, by the way.
Yeah, he does.
Joe Millionaire's back and it's one actual rich guy and one poor guy.
And they live together.
And they're both not white.
And they both have to vote.
They're both not white.
I know they're both not white.
They're both not white.
Look it up now.
They're both transgender.
It's woke as fuck and they're not white.
And we know it.
Love is blind is back too.
Darnell Millionaire.
Incredible.
Darnell Millionaire is the guy's name?
Darnell Racks.
Why are you grabbing
your dick, dude?
I'm not grabbing my dick
and I'm touching myself.
All right.
Okay.
Oh, they are both white.
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
That's on Hulu.
Okay.
Okay.
They couldn't be more white.
They're vampires.
Dude, these guys
are on Westwood Boulevard
every day.
I don't even know
what this show is about.
I don't know this show. Let is about. I don't know.
Let me tell you something right now.
That picture right there is the worst picture I've seen.
Just all of it together in 2022 so far.
We should have taken that picture for a king to sting in the way.
That is the worst promo picture of all time.
No, no, no.
You know what it is?
Oh, fuck.
What is it?
Oh, fuck.
The new movie with Greg Kinnear and Courtney Cox and Lisa Kudrow.
It's the worst.
Nobody's going to see this movie.
And I don't know why they didn't know.
It's in the theaters?
I don't.
Shining Veil.
It's called Shining Veil.
Looks bad.
And the fucking art for it is awful.
I'm out.
And Jennifer Lowe is in a new movie.
Who's that?
Jennifer Lopez?
Jennifer Lopez. Look at that fucking. Who's that? Jennifer Lopez? Jennifer Lopez.
Look at that fucking, who's going to go see, look at that, oh, how awful that is.
Shining Vale?
What does Vale mean?
I don't want to see that.
It's a Mexican.
I don't want to see that.
I know, but what does it even mean, though?
Hey, Vale.
Hey, Vale.
You hit that ball back and forth.
Vale.
Shining Vale.
Valiant back and forth.
Shining Vale.
I'm out.
Shining Vale.
Who the fuck would see that movie?
I'm out.
It sounds like an Indian person.
Oh, bro.
Drake Kinnear is awesome.
That is amazing.
Lisa Kudrow is awesome.
Yeah.
And, you know, Courtney Cox is, you know.
She's a beast.
Yeah, she's.
You heard they, Bob Saget, they think he hit his head on somebody.
Yeah, I know.
Bro, they're full of shit.
They think somebody hit him with something.
The doctor said the only way to get those.
Here we go.
Conspiracy theorist coming out.
No, I'm just saying.
Maybe it's true.
I'm just saying they're saying the only way to get those fractures on the front and back,
the doctor said he'd have to be either beaten by a bat in the head or fall from 30 stories.
Or headbanging in a really small room.
I don't think so.
Or putting on something real tight on your head.
Isn't it crazy though?
Of course, doctor.
And the family, you know what's weird?
What?
Is the family doesn't want this to get out.
He could have had something really tight on his head.
Are you done with med school?
No.
I snuck in.
Guys, we just saw what happens when you have a steel-toed boot closes on.
If something you have tight on your head.
Dude, so, I mean, if that's true.
This isn't a conspiracy.
This came out in the autopsy.
You're just saying shit you read, you saw somewhere.
No, this is autopsy.
This isn't everyone.
And they are suing to not release them.
They don't want it getting out.
Here's what could have happened.
This is hypothesis.
I can't wait for this.
This could have been a man or woman was around him late at night and abused him.
Kimmy Gibbler.
around him late at night and abused him.
Kimmy Gibbler.
Hmm.
Mm-mm.
No, not her.
No.
Not Kimmy Gibbler.
I'm spitballing ideas here.
Bad detective. Definitely didn't just hit his head on the bathtub and then went to sleep.
Could have done that.
They had facial fractures, orbital fractures.
That's really weird.
Fracture in the back of the head.
Oh, this is like that owl when that owl attacked that woman.
Yeah, I know.
Are you talking about stairs?
Yeah.
The documentary, The Stairs?
Then at the end they tell you.
The Stairs, dude.
It's called The Staircase.
Hey, hey, hey, hold on.
The documentary, The Stairs.
Hold on.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
You got the reference, right?
I get the main part, right?
But it's hilarious.
But you got it.
But you got it.
But it's hilarious because if it was called The Stairs, you know that nobody would have watched it the staircase sounds nice yes shit
the stairs sounds scary might as well just call it some stairs yeah i'm in yeah me too actually
that's banging yeah some stairs fuck yeah dude actually the prequel some stairs people under
the diagonal yes um does that he, he did, he do it?
Oh, for sure.
Well, then the crazy part is at the end, they're like, oh, also another wife of his got thrown
down the stairs a couple of years earlier.
Yeah, dude.
You don't want to hear what I think about this.
There's like three wives.
You want to hear what I think about this?
We don't have a choice.
Go on.
Yeah, you don't.
Look, I think maybe he did do it or maybe he didn't do it.
I don't know.
But what I do feel like is they didn't prove that he did it.
So it's crazy that he's in jail to me.
But it's very clear he kind of did it, right?
You just think it's just a coincidence.
All three wives died falling down stairs?
Two wives.
I don't think so.
Three.
It's wives if you pluralize it.
But I don't think so.
But wait, is Sylvester Stallone playing him?
Is that why he came up? No, I just thought he looked like him. Yeah, Bill Donis did. It's wives if you pluralize it, but I don't think so. But wait, is Sylvester Stallone playing him? Is that why he came up?
No, I just thought he looked like him.
Yeah, Bill Donovan's dead.
It was an owl.
Carl Dunnigan's here.
Carl Dunnigan.
That's it.
I think the owl thing just seemed crazy because I don't know if a bird would throw someone
downstairs because how do they even know to do it? I mean, we've seen
the eagles throw fucking sheep down
mountains. Yeah. Think about
it. It's a good point. Use your fucking head. Don't say we.
I haven't seen that. That's amazing. Yeah. I can't
believe an eagle grab a
goat, pick it up, and then
carry it so high and throw it down a mountain
and eat it at the bottom. And the wing,
dude. That's so cool. That's it, dude.
That should be our... That should be in the intro? Yeah, king of the sting and the wing, dude. That's so cool. That's it, dude. That should be our...
That should be in the intro.
Yeah.
The wing.
Throwing a goat?
Even I couldn't throw a goat.
And then they eat them.
Because they fall down the mountain and die and they eat them.
What?
Nature.
Nature is crazy, huh?
Oh, they kill it on the mountain?
They use the mountain to kill it?
They pick it up and then drop it.
Oh.
And these goats are like, ah, shit.
And they get real stiff when they fall.
See, because those goats that climb the side of the mountain, which make no sense.
Mountain goats.
Yeah, dog.
Ibexes.
So there we go.
They're called Ibexes.
The goat's like, dude, come on.
Be cool.
Be cool.
Be cool.
Be cool.
Be cool.
Wow.
And we're going for a ride.
And then he just kind of floats with them and then roughs them up.
It's called tenderize the meat, fellas.
Bro.
And then he lets them fall all the way down.
And then look at this.
And that goat's like, well, I'm dead now.
And the eagle is cool stories.
Are you fucking serious?
Do you get it?
Where is the eagle?
The eagle's like cool story?
You got to watch more shit.
No, this is actually insane
but is he feeding himself
or is he feeding his family
what if he just used them as a toilet
that would be so disrespectful
it wasn't even about food
dude how scary would it be seeing the fucking shadow of that thing
your little baby goat
what if he just wrote a note into his fur
why'd you say that bro
that made me sad.
I'm trying to educate you, dude.
But it's not, this is a comedy podcast, and you made me sad.
Barely.
What did he say?
What did who say?
What did Brennan say?
He said, what if a kid goat watched it or something?
No, I'm saying, what if you're a baby goat and you see the shadow?
And your mom was like, hey, man, you see a fucking shadow.
It's game over.
We got to get moving.
Yeah, but they don't speak English.
But in their language.
Come on, dude.
You got to read more.
Or whatever they do.
Where's the short king?
Get him in here.
Which one?
They're both short.
Bro, don't act like you don't have three short guys that work for you.
You have three.
Yeah.
It's just coincidence.
Is it really?
Yeah.
I don't know.
They're fucking short people.
Oh, bro.
If you're this tall, if you're under this height, can work here that's like it's one of those you can't
ride a ride at disney you can work at thick boy dude how did we gloss over that man getting
killed by that shark so clearly i told you what happened yeah clearly so i just breezed past
you were like yeah whatever of course he died We talked about video game for 20 minutes,
and that dude gave his life up.
For nature.
I'm a little bit upset that every time I try to say,
I know, somebody talks over it, and there, I just got it out.
Anyway, go ahead.
He was a bad cameraman, though.
Yeah, he was a bad cameraman.
No, please don't.
No, stop.
Stop.
That's not his trade.
How many tattoos does the guy who you say, I know, haveians if you are australian and you don't have tattoos you you're not
australian no you know how many fucking tattoos australians have uh-uh 15 at least you think so
how much and none of them are small yeah bro it's always like the entire 100,000 way more how many
more people are six million how many people are in aust? Oh, fucking way more than...
Guess how many before we look.
This is going to be insane. You guess first, Brendan.
Okay.
People are in it?
80 million.
No.
Too much.
Too much. You go.
I'm going to go for the continental Australia.
United States is what?
600 million?
$750 million.
I said $80 million.
$80 million.
We heard that part.
I'm going to do probably...
I'm going to do Australia.
That's what we're talking about.
I would go with...
Spit it out, dude.
Take your time.
$19 million.
Let's play ball!
If the price is right, I'm going to go with one.
So if you guys win over, I win.
There's one person in Australia.
One Australian?
And it's that guy who goes,
I am not.
I want to know Chris's real guess.
So we're at $19.80.
$35.
Theo? Price is35 million. Theo.
Well, Price is Right rules.
Theo wins.
Theo wins.
$19 million.
He won anyway.
He won anyway.
He won anyway.
Wow, $25.6 million, but it's growing.
God, that's not that many.
But it's getting more and more.
It could be $35 million at this point.
I love it there.
We have way more in California.
I know.
Now that's a place we should go do a tour at.
Australia.
You keep saying that
And we're in the United States
And it's so odd
Also off camera
It's odd how much
Theo says
We should do a tour in Australia
That's the fourth time
You said it in two days
I don't disagree
I love Australia
Love it
It's fine
It's fine
And I will go with you
I'm in
And we will do a fucking
King in the sting in the wing
Murder tour dude
We'll call it the murder tour
We will call it the fucking
Murder tour Worldwide Not if that guy just died there Alright Can't get over it Well he can't go wing murder tour dude we'll call it the murder tour we will call it the fucking murder tour
worldwide that guy just died there all right you can't get over it well he can't go that's
that's sharks doing shark shit though you know he can't be mad i know dude you go in the sea
that's kind of what could happen we need that garden dining option yeah is that it nick that's
it we ran past time all right all right kids as you're listening to this, I am in Sacramento tonight, Friday, Saturday.
Talk about the Patreon thing, and then talk about the thing.
Remember, just a reminder, we're doing Patreon.
I'm glad you refreshed my memory.
Starting in March,
we got two episodes exclusively
on Patreon with just Theo
Vaughn, Chris D'Elia, and myself.
We'll drop the link.
You're going to get the link. You're going to see the promo on our
Instagrams. Even Theo's going to blast it out, thank God thank god so it's gonna be on patreon two episodes a month make sure
you subscribe to that and then also we still be doing the two free ones on youtube and all the
rest of the stuff but you can get two fire podcasts a month on patreon with theo von
chris delia b shop king the sting and the wing yes dude when will
it start though we don't know yet in march in march yeah in march that's all we're saying
next week i know i know but it's also in two weeks and three weeks and it's our birthday month
so the first week of march it'll be probably regular episode yeah first week of march be
regular episode after that second week of march will be a patreon yep oh wow two guns so uh uh yeah yeah go ahead that's it i got rockford
illinois actually tonight i'll be in rockford illinois and then tomorrow night i'll be in
chicago illinois i think that's correct or tomorrow night or something anyway I'm in Rockford
and Chicago
like right now
so come on out
February 25th
February 26th
Theo's there
Sacramento
is punchline
tonight
Friday
Saturday
30 tickets left
by the time this comes out
it'll be sold out
not a big deal
Nashville Tennessee
Theo's Stomping Ground
is March 10th
through the 12th
at Zaney's
Chicago
March 24th
through 26th Phoenix just went live April 14th through the 12th at Zany's. Now I'm in Chicago March 24th through 26th. Phoenix just
went live April 14th through the 16th.
That's it, kids.
I'm doing Chris D'Elia
and Friends April 8th
through the 9th, Irvine.
So it might be
yeah, go get tickets. There's probably a few
left at this point. And I'm doing
Rockford, Illinois February
25th. Tomorrow. Tomorrow night. a few left at this point. And I'm doing Rockford, Illinois, February 25.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow night.
Or tonight,
if you listen to this on Friday.
Oh, good, good, good catch, dude.
And Saturday,
I'm at Chicago Theater.
It's the King,
the Sting,
and the Wing
will be on Patreon in March.
Make sure you subscribe to it, kids.
Love you.
Bang.
King and the Sting
Back with the crew We got Stevie Weeby Eric Griffin Brendan Piotun March. Make sure you subscribe to it, kids. Love you. Dang. Now he only pinning boys in the hallway This ain't the greatest show on earth and what you call that
Eric Griffin with him, he the Nate, dog a podcast
Yeah, the whole crew sick, it's the King and the stink
What up, Chin? What up, Nick?
Stevie Weeby, Eric Griffin, just walked in and got it lit
You can't forget about Brendan, he still need everything
Thick, thick, thick
Still got the bees in the trap trapping
Still the king in the sting
so quit asking
If you know, then you know, it's a
cat's thing, ball and chain
hair swang like the rat king
King in the sting, back
with the crew, we got Stevie Weeby
Eric Griffin, Brendan, Theo too
Yeah, you know how we do it, so
just tune in for the laughs, Theo said that he was on his way, but ran Outro Music