The Golden Hour - Episode 198: Dumb and Dahmer
Episode Date: October 14, 2022The guys debate who's better looking between Jeffrey Dahmer vs Brendan and talk Chris' official tour launch, Chin getting wasted in Jelly Roll's tour bus, Brendan's advice to Dave... Chappelle about vaping, Erik Griffin P.I., Draymond Greene punching Jordan Poole, the new Hellraiser movie's androgynous Pinhead and much more!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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That's so New York, and it's so New York that not a fight happened.
I walked into a deli once because I needed to find an ATM in New York.
And I walked in, and I said, hey, do you have an ATM?
And the guy's like, nah, you're going to buy something?
And I'm like, nah, I just want to know if you have to get cash.
He's like, nah, we don't have that.
If you're a customer, come in.
He's like, go f*** yourself.
And I was like, in my head, I was like, this is New York.
And I go like this, new york and i go like
this you and i walk out you ever met this guy oh i'm the dumb one you can't argue there's something
about me you have no idea what you're saying gang gang buzz buzz
let's get ready to rumble!
Nice.
Now we have to pay a $6 million to that dude.
Oh, no, no.
No, he signed off on it.
I said, let's get ready to rumble.
Oh, really?
And he said, sure, Jeffrey Dahmer.
I said, I'm not him, dude.
Yeah, you don't look like him at all.
You don't seem like him.
You're nothing like Jeffrey Dahmer. I will strangle you right now. If Theo were here, he'd be like't look like him at all. You don't seem like him. You, there are nothing like Jeffrey Dahmer.
So if Theo were here,
he'd be like more like Jeffrey Dahmer.
So,
um,
I'll do that joke since he's not here.
Uh,
but yeah,
guess what guys?
I know you're fucking in waiting in anticipation,
but my tour,
it's frigging lit,
dude.
Oh,
I was wondering,
don't push me.
Tour is fucking live.
Now go get tickets.
It's under the comments there.
You can click the link.
But chrisleah.com.
I'm going to New York.
I'm going to Chicago.
I'm going to fucking all sorts of places.
Now we say New York and Chicago.
You're in like weird places.
No, no, no.
I'm doing the Beacon in New York City.
Never heard of it.
Okay, well, that's on you.
Just kidding.
I know, I know.
And then Chicago.
Enormous.
The Beacon's awesome, actually.
Have you ever been there?
I walked by it. What are you trying to Have you ever been there? I walked by it.
What are you trying to do right now, dude?
I walked by it.
Yeah, I'm going to be at Skank Fest October 10th.
Is that Austin?
October 14th through the 16th in Vegas.
But I'm also doing this show with Rick Glassman, the great Rick Glassman.
Oh, I love Rick.
Rick's the shit.
Rick's doing his own.
He's doing a live podcast in his show in St. Petersburg.
So go to Rick's website for that.
I said I would go do a live podcast with him.
I think we're going to do a couple of sets.
But the big one for me is Calusa Casino, October 28th, Sacramento area.
Come check me out.
And I got some other dates.
Eric's going to dress up like an Indian.
Let me ask you these questions, though.
Come on out, people.
Have you been to Midland, Texas?
I've been everywhere in Texas. What's Midland, Texas? I've been everywhere in Texas.
I've Texas-tested.
What's Midland, Texas?
I'll be there.
It's in the Midlands.
Springfield, Missouri.
I hear that that place is.
Yeah, Springfield's nice.
Is it?
Yeah.
Oh, really?
Yeah, Springfield's nice.
And what about Seattle I'm doing?
But San Antonio, you've done San Antonio.
What are you doing in Seattle?
McCall Hall.
Oh, wait.
Where do the Supersonics play?
That's where you're doing?
No, not quite.
Not yet.
Portland, Oregon. I don't have a team. Portland's cool. Where do the Supersonics play? That's where you're doing? No, not quite. Not yet. Portland, Oregon.
They don't have a team.
Portland's cool.
I was watching videos on Portland.
Who told you Portland's cool?
When's the last time you went?
Oh, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
That's what I was going to say.
I taped my special in Portland, American Warrior.
Oh, you did?
Where?
At Revolution Hall?
Oh, no, no, no.
What was it?
I saw it.
How long ago, though, Eric?
A long time ago, yeah.
Oh, I was there four months ago.
Have you ever seen Batman Dark Knight?
You know when Bane takes over?
Oh, man.
That's what Portland looks like.
Now, you were downtown, of course, right?
I was downtown.
And a cop came up to me off-duty.
I got a lot of cop fans, right?
Off-duty.
He goes, what are you guys doing tonight?
I go, I'm not sure.
And he suggests, and he goes, yeah, go back to your hotel.
Do not go out.
Is that bad?
It was then. I don't know now. I wonder if it's – I don not sure. Any suggestions? He goes, yeah, go back to your hotel. Do not go out. It's that bad? It was then.
I don't know now.
I wonder if it's, I don't know.
Really?
Downtown?
But I don't think it's violent crimes.
I think it's like property crimes and shit.
No, no, no.
No, they're not.
Yeah, but what downtown is nice?
Okay, so there are not.
You know what I mean?
After hours.
Yeah, Boston and New York actually.
But like you have to like,
but I mean, if it's really big like that,
you have to, there are pockets that are bad, like if any major if it's not so big i mean it there's
some bad fucking san antonio is great you say you're going to san antonio yeah i'm there november
lo it's literally my favorite place in texas really if i was gonna move to texas be san
get out of here yeah doggie wow oh and they have the best hotel. The best. You have to stay at this hotel.
I'm going to fight you if you don't stay at this hotel.
I'm really aggressive today.
Okay, okay.
Just chill.
Dude, I got these Jeffrey Dahmer glasses.
Okay, just chill, dude.
Just mention the hotel and then we'll move past it.
Jeffrey Dahmer never wore sunglasses.
Yeah, but forget it.
These aren't sunglasses.
Imagine Jeffrey Dahmer.
By the way, it would have had so many more victims because the gay dudes would have been
like, fuck yeah, let's go.
Dude, it would have been fucking 150.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You think that Brendan's cuter than Jeffrey Dahmer?
Oh.
Oh, bro, this guy's thinking about the fucking series
where the fucking model plays him, for fuck's sake.
The real Jeffrey Dahmer.
The real Jeffrey Dahmer looks like Nick.
He doesn't look like me.
Wait, first of all, Nick's not a bad-looking dude.
All right, let's just be like, my teeth.
Hold on a second.
Yeah, yeah, don't smile.
No, Nick, you have Richard Ramirez teeth with Jeffrey Dahmer face.
Both charming guys.
LA face with an Oakland booty.
Richard Ramirez teeth with a fucking.
There it is.
No, no, wait, isn't it?
Wait, that's Sir Mix-a-Lot, right?
Can you please put up a poll?
You know, who's better?
Am I better looking than Jeffrey Dahmer?
So real quick, can we just admit that Eric Griffin is attracted to Jeffrey Dahmer?
I'm not saying that.
You did, though.
I did not say that.
We're doing a comparison.
It's like A or B, and I'm not sure.
I'm not better looking than Jeffrey Dahmer.
How dare you?
Look at the second picture right there.
Look how rugged he looks right there.
That's the one right there.
Jeffrey Dahmer in a picture
is fine looking.
There's no picture where Jeffrey Dahmer
is better looking than me.
I'm not an LA 9.
By no means am I a 9 in LA.
Compared to Dahmer though?
How dare you, Eric?
I think Dahmer kind of looks like Chris a little bit.
Because you know I have
stuff behind my face.
He doesn't look like Chris? little bit. Because you know I have stuff behind my face. Like where I'm like, you know, I could serial kill.
No, don't bring up that.
That's a bad picture.
My face is not there.
There it is.
No, that's the one.
Show that one.
No, bring up the one where I'm a dime piece.
No, bring up the one right there.
Look at that.
No, not that one.
My face is not there.
I think that's actually a good picture.
The one where I look like a blackjack dealer with the vest on.
Boom.
That's just angle.
I'm not better looking than him?
No, bro.
I agree with you, bro.
I think it's equal.
No, dude.
You're at the gay club.
You see Brendan.
You know, you're like, okay.
You know what Eric is?
You see Dahmer and you're like, okay.
Okay.
Let me see.
You ever seen Jeffrey Dahmer dance?
Have you seen him dance in the series?
He's so aggressive.
Yeah, but that's not the real guy.
You don't know how Jeffrey.
Jimmy Dahmer could have been like.
You're romanticizing Jeffrey Dahmer because you're a fucking white chick.
That's the problem.
You're a white chick.
That's the problem.
You're doing what white chicks do.
I'm sending them letters.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because these white chicks on TikTok is like, did you see it?
They're like, does anybody else feel sorry for Jeffrey Dahmer?
It's like, bitch, he used to eat people.
It's not even feel sorry.
The whole serial killers are hot thing, it just drives me nuts.
I know, me too.
It's like, no, you're saying that because you live in a fantasy world.
You don't actually think a serial killer is hot.
You meet one of these motherfuckers, and they're just like, oh, hey, hey.
You don't like that.
Well, Ted Bundy had charisma.
Anybody that does anything really well, they don't seem to be like a good husband, father,
good whatever, because look what happens.
You know what I mean?
To be great at this thing, you did all of their energy.
And he was a very prolific serial killer.
Yeah, looking like Michael Jordan, not the best husband or father.
Tom Brady's getting a divorce.
It don't seem like he was the best husband.
He might be a good dad, though.
Sounds like a good dad. Good dad. You don't seem like he was the best husband. He might be a good dad though. Sounds like a good dad.
Good dad. You don't have to be married to him.
Yeah. But also with Tom Brady, it's like you can only
have one headshot in the household.
Them the rules. Headshot?
You can only have one headshot. Meaning only one person
can be in entertainment. Them the rules.
Oh, one headshot. Oh, oh, oh.
Them the rules.
I don't know.
Oldest time. Yeah. I don't know.
Anyway. Well, Eric, I think John Wayne Gacy's better looking than you, so what. Oldest time. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway.
Well, Eric, I think John Wayne Gacy is better looking than you, so what's up?
Wow.
Wow.
Now, that is one unfortunate looking guy.
That guy not only is –
You know what?
Not as the –
You piece of shit.
Jeffrey Dahmer is not a bad looking guy.
That's a good comparison.
All right.
Now you're going to go there.
Wow.
Really?
No, only when he has the makeup on on the clown face.
I will say, though.
I would say Bert Kreischer.
I will say, though.
So John Wayne Gacy is a very unfortunate looking man.
And the thing more about him is when you hear video of him, you're like, it's even more unfortunate.
My point is that Jeffrey Dahmer is a fine looking guy.
And then you hear him talking stuff and it's worse. Yeah, because he's on more unfortunate. My point is that Jeffrey Dahmer is a fine-looking guy, and then you hear him talking stuff, and it's worse.
Yeah, because he's on the spectrum. Right, okay.
Well, let's not, you know.
Nobody against, nothing against people on the spectrum.
You can be on the spectrum and not serial kill.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's one of my favorite shows.
Most of the time they are really great accountants.
You know what I mean?
Really good accountants, but killers.
Yeah, but you, think about.
We owe money here.
Think about...
Crushing numbers.
Think about what's the difference between, say, Pat Riley and Hitler, right?
Wow.
Hot take.
Hot.
Hot take.
Hot take.
What I'm saying is...
Here we go.
Yes, Eric?
What I'm saying is, like, One is like A very charismatic Leader of people
And then one decided
To do some evil shit
The other guy decided
To lead black men
To hit you know
A championship
A championship
Well one's a sociopath
I know but what I'm saying
Is that same sort of like
Whatever that charisma is
You can use it for
And leadership quality
You can use it for good
And you can use it for evil
Charisma is currency
Yeah
I see what you're saying
Charisma wins championships You can use it for good Or you can use it for evil. Charisma is currency. Yeah. Charisma wins championships.
You can use it for good or you can use it for evil.
Also, no one basketball helps.
Ted Bundy could have been like freaking the dude that owned Apple or freaking Elon Musk.
I don't think so.
One of these type of people.
Oh, I don't think so.
Ted Bundy?
Yeah.
I don't think he's IQ-sign up.
You understand what I'm saying?
Or he could have been a comedian.
You know what I mean?
Like Chris is one step away from having heads in his refrigerator.
Not all of them, but Ted Bundy was smart.
He represented himself as a lawyer.
And before they sent him to death, the judge goes, you know what's a shame?
He goes, you'd been a fucking fine lawyer.
That's what I'm saying, man.
Well, no, he's the only one.
The rest of them are morons.
I don't know, dude.
It's hard to look. But the tenacity and the hard work and the fucking-
Dedication to keep killing.
He convinced the police-
Dedication.
That this 14-year-old kid was his boyfriend.
That's crazy, bro.
And the cops helped him back into the law.
Well, what's the takeaway from there?
That had a lot to do with-
The cops are stupid.
Homophobia.
That had a lot to do with homophobia. Yeah, are stupid. That had a lot to do with homophobia.
Yeah, they thought they'd get AIDS if they touched him.
What I'm saying is he used that.
Guys, we are very well versed in these serial killers, man.
It's not about the serial killers.
All I'm saying is, look, imagine these serial killers and stuff at a time when there is
now social media.
They're saying right now in LA that there is a
serial killer. There's always... It's Sacramento.
Get this. Stockton.
There's always... It's in Stockton.
I just left the day after they were like,
serial killer in Stockton. He doesn't scare me.
I'm going to San Jose this weekend.
This Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
I'm too big of a target.
But the thing is, he's
a bullshit serial killer
because he's just
driving by
and shooting
bro you ain't gonna stop
and pick up the body
and eat him
then I'm not into him
use poison
use poison
be a strangler
have some makeup
talk about
do knifing
wear a suit
you can't just
fucking willy nilly
pop pop
you're just a drive by artist
you're basically a gangbanger
you're a drive by artist
you're a gangbanger
just shoots random people
but if they had social media imagine a Bundy oh yeah done a drive-by artist. Yeah, you're basically a gangbanger. You're a drive-by artist. You're a gangbanger that just shoots random people.
But listen,
if they had social media,
imagine a Bundy.
Oh, yeah.
Done.
Oh, no,
the golden age of the serial killers is over.
Like, from the 70s to the 80s,
they were popping.
Yeah.
But now,
these new serial killers
are getting lazy.
They have no gimmick.
Their marketing's all off.
Crime was fucking nuts
in the 80s and 90s.
Way worse than now.
Way worse than now.
Dude, i looked at
some videos online i watch youtube videos dude i don't know if you guys watch youtube videos but i
watch youtube videos like i'll watch the youtube videos of like cities and like how they were
popping in the fucking whatever whenever they were popping and then whenever they were in decline
bro oakland was like well still is well i know i know it still is but it was i mean a guy got
stabbed after my show yeah a guy got stabbed after my show.
Yeah.
A guy got stabbed after my show.
Do you know that?
For your merch?
I heard he was like,
do you have a large?
I'm like, well, a large.
Fuck this.
You ran out of a large?
I'm a thick boy.
He did an overhand too, like this.
Oh, wow.
No, but he got stabbed after my show.
Did he die?
No, he didn't die.
He got...
Why?
I don't know. It's Oakland. So Chris is like, so i gave him 50 off merch no no no so all right i'm looking through my stories people tag me and stuff
and look at this i was talking about how we were staying in the four safest blocks and um you
breathe too loud huh you breathe too loud he breathes too loud. All right, y'all. So check this shit out. I just left the Chris Delia show.
My guy was out here talking about how these are the safest four blocks in Oakland.
I said that.
Yeah, right?
Nah, bruh.
Got stabbed, bruh.
I'm over here leaking, dawg.
He's smiling, too.
He got stabbed?
I mean, you know, one of the people at my show got fucking.
He's leaking?
Holy fucking shit. He got stabbed? I hope he's okay. He seems like he's okay. Hey, one of the people at my show got fucking, he's leaking? Holy fucking shit, he got stabbed?
I hope he's okay.
He seems like he's okay.
Hey, go to the hospital.
He went on to do more stories.
You breathe too loud, huh?
I would have done a story too.
Yeah, I know, bro.
Open up the door.
It's Enrique.
I hope.
Hey, man, I got stabbed at your show.
Fucking stabbed.
Dude, isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
He was leaking.
It wasn't bad, though, huh?
He was leaking.
But also, from his grammar
I felt like he might have
Insurgated on one
I need to know information
This guy's always about information
Okay, but he still got stabbed
We're not Fox News here, man
We're taking it from social media
I am, I'm trying to get a hold of him
For a Patreon episode
Best producer in the fucking game I always say this We're taking it from social media. I am. I'm trying to get a hold of him for our Patreon episode. Oh, shit. So we're going to try and talk to him on the Patreon episode.
Best producer in the fucking game, dude.
So apparently.
I always say this.
You wanted to fire him.
So you just tried to fire him for four years.
I do.
I still want to fire him.
Yeah, but that keeps him on his game.
Yeah, we need to cut back on him.
He needs to always be thinking he's about to get fired.
We're going to fire him, dude.
He's stressed.
We're going to fucking straight up blindside him one day.
We need to promote Jin.
Yeah.
So here's the deal.
Look, here's the deal.
We need a diversity leader in this place.
So this guy got fucking stabbed and he was leaking.
He went three inches in his chest.
Three inches?
Do we believe this?
This is what he said.
We're going to talk to him.
Oh, we can get him on.
They said an inch away from his lungs.
That would have been real leaking.
He would have been dead, dude.
We're going to get the story.
Yeah, we'll get the story maybe on the Patreon.
Hopefully he'll answer. But anyway,
he's a comedian. I looked up on the thing and he
does stand-up. Oh, wow. What an interesting
guy. Like Tommy Tease.
For sure, Eric headlines.
Eric goes to Tommy Tease, yes.
I've been there before. There we go.
That makes sense.
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All right, so let's take some.
That's good.
I like when we have a bunch of good banter up front.
Hey, you know what?
The little, this just goes to show you, I was having an awful day.
I woke up just a shit storm because of work stuff.
Yeah.
Literally, my phone was on fire.
I was in the worst mood before I got in here.
And just you bringing me coffee fully redeemed myself.
See?
It made you feel good?
Yeah.
How many sips have you taken so far?
Oh, you're just saying the fact that I thought of you.
Yes.
Should the black part of that hat be like that?
Isn't that a sign that that's the back of the hat or something?
You know what that means?
Huh?
It means trouble.
You're trouble.
That's a sign.
You see the X on there?
This is my boy, Daisy Mae Hats.
Do you know how cool you'd look in a hat?
You want to put this on?
Yeah, let me see.
You know how fucking sweet you'd look in a hat?
I don't know if I'm hat ready.
You seem like a hat guy.
Did you send that to your girl?
She's like, dude, get here so I can swallow that day.
You actually do seem like a hat guy.
I feel like I'm an archaeologist.
You know what he looks like when he wears it?
A P.I.
Hey, Eric Griffin, I've got some questions for you.
You know, with a big flash.
Or a photographer with a big flash.
It goes, you get to go like this, too.
Skrr, skrr.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you're holding the flash.
Eric's trying to get the scoop.
Like in 1705, I feel like nobody move.
Don't move for 15 minutes.
This picture's loaded.
I don't know.
Should I be a hat guy?
When do you become a hat guy?
My boy at Daisy.
You know what?
This isn't bad.
Daisy mate.
So he makes hats for Post Malone, ZZ Top.
He's a beast.
It's all custom.
So they're all one of one.
I don't know.
I would recommend for you. you don't like hats though.
Bro, if I wore that hat and it wasn't a joke.
Yeah, but your head is just.
Your head is.
Yeah, but sometimes.
You don't want, and I'm just spitballing ideas.
You don't want to think about covering up the Dracula haircut.
Nah.
Here's what's crazy.
Your forehead is so big.
I know what you're going to say.
With the glasses right there, you still have a normal-sized forehead.
Straight up.
You know what I mean?
Like the glasses are here, and he still has a normal human forehead.
It's still more forehead than me.
He has more forehead than me
Even with the glasses mid-frame
I'm like a fly
Like if you close like this
It looks like
No bro
If you go like this
It looks like
I'm still talking to someone
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard
Shit dude
Oh wow Yeah See That's the stupidest thing ever. Shit, dude.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. See?
Ah, fucking shit.
Like, if you draw some fake eyebrows up here and then put your glasses like this, people
would think.
The fly.
Dude, you have good hair, though.
Yeah.
I just love hats.
Okay.
Yeah.
I love those Daisy Mayhats.
I have probably six of them.
I have an off-white one.
Am I just finishing the episode? I have a tie-dye them. I have an off-white one. Am I just finishing the episode?
I have a tie-dye one.
I have an off-white one.
Jesus Christ.
They have the off-white laces on it, the orange off-white laces.
On your hat?
Yeah.
Bro, bro, what are you, like a pilgrim showing up with a buckle on his hat?
Like that's the new hype beast.
Buckles?
Yeah.
The Indians.
What's with the fucking belts on your hat?
Who bought that?
It's a hype beast pilgrim.
Oh, God.
No, but Brendan didnan have like a wrestling
belt right here it'd be like the intercontinental championship the flavor of the clock
it's so heavy another another person just sitting on it on his i'm like this what it's fashion
oh man that reminds me of that key and pe Oh, that is so funny. They keep coming back bigger and bigger and bigger.
He's got the woman making the hat.
Oh, my God.
He's holding her up like this on the platform.
That was so funny.
Oh, man, dude.
That show was so perfect for the internet.
Best cat show of all time, man.
You just grabbed these like.
What was the bit?
Was it?
No, no.
They were challenging each other. Yeah, they were one-upping each other.
Because you come with a dope head like, oh, cool. He had the tag on it. The tag. Then he came back. They were challenging each other. Yeah, they were one-upping each other. Because he'd come with a dope hat. He'd be like, oh, cool hat.
Then he had the tag on it.
The tag.
Then he came back.
He was in a classic.
A table.
Yeah.
Then at the end, he had the lady making the hat on his head.
And he was all like.
All right.
Let's go.
Let's see what we got here for the show.
And nice.
Here we go.
You're just going to wear the hat the whole time? All right. What up, boys? You want your hat back? I've got a debate clip for you. Look who it is. Nice. Here we go. You can wear the hat the whole time.
Alright, what up boys? Got a debate club for you.
Look who it is.
Debate club. Going to a Chris D'Elia show
but getting stabbed.
Or going to a
chin and brows show
but not getting stabbed.
Chris D'Elia one's probably
a lot funner. You'll have a night full of laughs.
Tons of people there
great vibes
but at the end of the night
you get stabbed
right
at the hospital
Chin and Brow show
probably not as many people there
like we're performing this weekend
in Plano, Texas
at a festival
you can come see us if you'd like
it will be fun
but you
not as
but you don't get stabbed
right
but not as many people
well I mean maybe if the festival's popping,
I will say Plano, Texas, though.
Who knows?
But also Texas, not too many stabbings, more guns, right?
So there's that.
Chin fans, you know.
They bring Chinese stars.
That's way back in the day.
I don't hang out with any gangsters.
I'm not buying it.
Yeah, but do you ever really leave the gang?
Do you try to leave what they pull you back in?
Have you ever jumped out officially, Chin?
Never in the gang.
Hey, Chin, do you want us to leave but they pull you back in. Have you ever jumped out of the gang? Hey Chin,
do you want us to jump you out
right now?
Yeah.
We can just jump you
out of the gang.
We'll jump you.
You're out of the gang
and you're in the podcast.
We jump him out?
Does that even work?
Oh, you have to get jumped out.
Oh, you gotta get jumped out.
You have to get out.
Oh, I thought you just...
Unless you're like
a really high-ranking guy,
you have to get jumped out.
Oh, I thought you can't...
Well, if you're a real
high-ranking guy,
you can't leave at all.
You can leave, but you'll get destroyed and they'll probably come after
you later too but you have to be jumped up oh jesus yeah there's no listen there's no promises
but we'll give you a few days of rest right right right so how was your jumping out i never was in
the gang i was just around them they were my best friends at the time he was like a lot lizard for
the gang i went this direction they went this direction yeah yeah it's probably because he
started singing they were like yeah they were like we're in a gang he was like
bye bye bye bye bye no could you please quit dancing now this begs the difference this is
jenna on jelly rolls tour bus this is when you watch how hammered he was just this weekend i
know i never get this hammered where are you um he's still in the bus trying to well try to get
the honda center anaheim jelly roll Roll blew the fuck up. Look at Chin.
Oh, you're fucked.
Look, dude, I am freaking.
You're on six feet.
Oh, he's like Tua from Miami.
You're fucking tripping there.
Bro, that's hilarious.
Chin was white girl wasted. But that was a great time, though.
Yeah, I hope so.
I bet.
I remember tidbits.
I'm pretty sure I had a great time.
But when I got to the bus, that's when I forgot everything.
And I'm sure I smoked there, too, and and everything that's what i'm saying damn just smoking drinking
baby that's so funny you were at a jelly roll concert and then that's how you fucking leave
jelly's perfectly fine was that big guy jelly roll yes that's my boy blowing up but that's
what i'm saying but this is why he doesn't get drunk because the body no no no straight up dude
you've never seen somebody drink like he does. And smokes.
And then he forces everybody else to drink.
It's a good time.
Yeah, it's great.
Nick would have it.
Oh, no.
Nick, you were there in Nashville.
I've got lit up with that.
In Nashville. Because he'll just bring a tray full of 30 shots.
You're like, there's four of us, Joe.
Wow, wow.
He's like, yeah, it's four of us.
I'm like, mm-mm.
He's a good artist, man.
He's got a great point.
Oh, he's the sweetest dude.
Yeah.
Did you guys open up for him or something?
Or just go to the show? No, we're just, because he's homies with Brennan on the show. Oh, gotcha, sweetest dude. Did you guys open up for him or something? Or just go to the show?
No, we're just, because he's homies with Brennan.
Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Really good friend of mine.
Yeah, and then he just, I know him before he was big, and now he's like.
Does he ever get wobbly like that?
Or no?
Nah, I've never seen him.
That's what I'm saying.
Not never.
I mean, that helps for sure.
But he's been drinking all his life.
Oh.
And he'll drink tequila.
Like my doctor said, if I keep drinking, I'm going to die.
But he said tequila's okay.
I'm like.
Who's that doctor? Jelly. I'm like, who's that doctor?
Jelly.
I was like, who's your doctor?
They're rock.
Because it's agave or whatever.
The doctor, he goes, he's over there.
And the guy's like, ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fucking.
Yeah.
He has shots in his hand.
And he's one of those old doctors that's got the metal thing.
You know what I mean?
And he's there and fucking.
Dude, fuck yeah man hey every day the time I
was I was is my first time headlined at the comedy stars in the bedroom I was
all excited like I wonder where they'd asked me to do this like six years ago
turns out there's like six people in the crowd and it was the opening game of the
World Series with the Dodgers there's nobody there so I feel like piece of
shit but then Dave Spell walks in he's in the green room he's like hey you're running the show like the headliner he's like there, so I feel like a piece of shit. But then Dave Chappelle walks in. He's in the green room. He's like, hey, you're running the show.
I'm like, yeah, I'm the headliner.
He's like, you mind if I do a set, man?
Is that cool with you?
I'm like, sure, you do whatever you want, right?
So we're in the green room talking,
and I'm feeling so sad because there's only seven people in there.
And me and him are vibing.
I'm like, this is so fucking dope, man, Dave Chappelle.
And then he's vaping, and I go, oh, it just ruined our relationship.
He probably hates me to this day, if he even remembers me then he's vaping. And I go, oh, it just ruined our relationship. He probably hates me to this day, if he even remembers me.
He's vaping.
I go, oh, you know those are worse for you than cigarettes.
And he goes, what the fuck did you just say?
I go, you know the vape's actually worse for you than cigarettes.
He goes, who told you that?
I'm like, oh, it's just what they say.
He's like, who says that?
I'm like, oh, fuck, dude.
Wow.
He's like, my doctor says better.
This is why he told me to start vaping.
I'm like, but I don't think it is. And he's like, doctor says better. This is why he told me to start vaping. But I don't think it is.
And he's like, all right, man.
And then just walked off.
Never talked to him again.
Wow.
I ruined my relationship with Dave Chappelle over vape.
You might have saved his life, though.
No, because I still see him all the time vaping.
And now Rogan's vaping.
You still did the right thing.
I feel like I did.
I tried to give back.
I see people going back and forth, man.
Yeah, I know
you know what I mean
I see like
but a friend of mine
will be like
you know
was vaping
then here's this
yeah yeah yeah
back to cigarettes
the real thing is
don't do any of that
I know
I had a buddy
just do rogue nicotine
I had a buddy
who
come on
I had a buddy who
you know nicotine
suppresses your appetite
right
I had a buddy
who
wanted to lose weight so he got the nicotine patch,
and he did it so much that he's like, I got to start smoking.
Then he started smoking.
Biggest moron move of all time.
Well, hold on.
Did he lose weight?
He was always thin.
He's an actor.
He was like some bullshit.
You know what I mean?
His name is Adrian Brody.
No, no.
That's how he got famous.
Super thin.
You know what, though?
I will say this, though.
Public service announcement.
You should be careful.
A lot of times people are trying to quit smoking, and they use the nicotine patches.
But what you shouldn't do is don't have the nicotine patch, and then take some nicotine gum, and then smoke.
Because I knew a kid.
He had a heart attack and died.
I didn't have a heart attack, but I passed out walking in my car.
I passed out walking in my car. I passed out walking in my car.
Doing what?
I had a nicotine patch on before I found Rogue and they saved my life.
Thank you.
Rogue nicotine.
But before I was using Rogue, I had the nicotine patch and chewed the gum, the Nicorette gum.
Yeah.
And I didn't realize that you can overload on nicotine.
I'm just walking in my car.
Oh, fuck.
Popped up.
All good, baby. Oh, wow. Stop doing it. Oh, wow. Cold turkey. After that, oh, popped up. All good, baby.
Oh, wow.
Stop doing it.
Cold turkey.
After that, you stop doing it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then it cut to, it's like that scene from Wolf of Wall Street where he thinks he got
away, but it was like.
I'm going to keep tossing.
I got problems.
But to answer the question, we'd probably go to Little Brow.
Yeah, go to Little Brow.
You didn't want to get stabbed. But also go to both. Yeah, go to Little Brow. You didn't want to get stabbed.
But also go to both.
Yeah, go to both.
Go to both.
Two different places.
Yeah, well, you got to fly back and forth, but you know.
Where can they get tickets, Chin?
On my bio on my Instagram.
I don't know the actual.
Nice.
Go to his link in bio.
Link in bio.
Yeah, but now you have to figure out how to spell Chin.
Well, Chin is good.
How many Chins are there?
This is the difference between our crowds. Oh, you think that made it are there this is the difference between our crowds that
made it better this this is the difference between our crowds i had a guy show up because you get it
to you can have a license to carry in san diego ask enrique about this he was there okay this guy
shows up with a ar-15 on his on his god like fucking like he's special forces and he goes i'm
here for brenn shop show two tickets and like well yeah but like, he's Special Forces. And he goes, I'm here for Brent's shop. Show two tickets.
I'm like, well, yeah, but you can't come in with your gun.
He goes, why?
I have a license to carry.
I'm like, no, we get that.
But do you have to bring it in here?
He's like, well, if something happens.
Oh, my God, bro.
And they're like, but, yeah.
And then he's like, go ask Brent.
And I bet he approves of it.
And I was like, ooh.
Oh, he's trying to make a statement.
Yeah.
So they were like, hey, this guy has a giant, I go,
a semi-automatic.
Oh, he must have saw the last episode. That's why you got to be careful of the things you say. I was like, well, let's trying to make a statement. Yeah. So they were like, hey, this guy has a giant, I go, semi-automatic? Oh, he must have saw the last episode.
That's why you got to be careful of the things you say.
I was like, well, let's maybe.
Just tell him, can he leave in the car?
Yeah.
And he was like, yeah, cool.
Put it in the car.
Oh, my God.
Just imagine AR-15.
You know how big they are?
Yeah, I know.
I'm here for the comedy show.
It's like hitting the floor and shit.
Yeah, but you know what, though?
You're like, can I get merch?
Yeah.
In this guy's defense, those aren't the guys you have to worry about.
No, sure.
You're not going to announce it.
Yeah, you're not going to announce it.
But you also don't want him to get pissed off.
Like, you do a joke, and he's just like, eh, don't like that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or he's just like this.
At the setup, he's just like.
You're roasting him, he's all.
No, no, not the setup.
The setup, he's like, wait a minute. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. He's got you in his crosshairs. And setup he's just like you're roasting a measle no no that's not instead of he's like wait a minute yeah yeah yeah that's what i'm saying he's got you in his crosshairs
like and then he's like okay i like that one look at this look at this but i'd rather have that than
the guy comes in with it like dude is that i know no no here's the thing people think because we're
in hollywood that we don't they know they know about you they know you have guns but like they
think that like we're all against guns. I am not against guns.
No, just you two.
No, I'm not against guns.
But we don't need...
I'm not against guns.
No, we don't need those at comedy shows.
You know what?
By the way, since you're going to try to put me on blast, I'm not against guns.
Their technology just needs to be upgraded.
What's that?
Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why are we still shooting little pieces of metal at people with lethal force?
What do you want, lasers?
Yeah.
Where's the stun guns?
Where's the freaking freeze guns?
I want the guns where you...
And it goes...
And then the person just...
You know what I mean?
Like Rick and Morty.
Like the lasers from Rick and Morty.
No, but I'm just saying, man, that's the thing.
The people that are laughing.
Every time people fight about guns, you know who's laughing at us?
The gun companies.
Yeah, of course.
Because they're not upgrading the technology.
In the same way that we have electric cars and we have phones and stuff now.
Eric's like, I want sharks with lasers on their heads.
I'm just saying, they have the technology, but it's cheaper to make a thing
that fires and shoots little pieces of metal.
And then we can just upgrade the technology.
Upgrade the technology.
To fuck people up more?
No.
You don't need lethal force.
It's true.
That's all I'm saying.
Sometimes you do.
No, you don't.
Oh, I disagree.
You don't.
No, you don't.
I disagree. Well, you don't, though. because you're assuming the bad guys are gonna have those
same yeah no no no no no here's what i'm trying to say dude if you're if i'm fucking hot if that
guy has like whatever right it's like and you have the one that i just want something that
i want someone a thing that it stops Yeah, exactly
Like Frozo
Like Dr. Freeze
Hold on, it's reality
That's what he's saying
You need to update the technology
I guarantee you that technology is available
But it's probably not cheap
As it is to shoot little pieces of metal
Use sound waves and shit
Or they're just like, oh, that's enough.
They go, boom, and they go, no.
You know what I mean?
Whatever.
It doesn't have to be lethal force.
That's all I'm saying.
But I'm not against guns because I feel like gun,
you know somebody that's a gun nut?
That motherfucker knows everything about guns.
They got a gun safe.
They know gun safety.
They know how to, you know what I mean?
Those aren't the ones we're talking about.
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. And honestly, this conversation is done. Let's move on. safety they know how to like you know what i mean those aren't the ones we're talking about yeah i
understand what you're saying and and honestly this conversation is done let's move on all right
let's look at this guy here this is brought to you by that before we get to this guy uh someone else
sending the cats in the wild they actually saw in concert and said they had a great time okay
let's see it i want y'all to think of someone you fucking hate.
Is he a Cinnabite?
Is this fucking Hellraiser?
Oh, that's Chintz.
Let's fucking go.
Let's fucking go.
He said, I want you to think of something that makes you really angry or something. That guy won.
Or something that you hate.
I want you to think of someone you fucking hate.
Oh, wow.
Someone you hate. Someone you hate. Now, does think of someone you fucking hate. Oh wow someone you
Does he have on a shirt?
job
Brendan Shaw he's a transformer and he transforms into a couch
No, you know what he did he went out
All right, well you stay here. We'll go get the bag. No he went into Hot Topic
It was like I'll take all of it you walk into his room and you sit down and he's like, hey, bro.
I thought you wore a shirt on a chair.
Get off me.
His head is just right there.
You're sitting on him.
He's like, bro, you're sitting on me.
Let's take another little break from the shenanigans here at Think Voice Studios
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Let's see what this little Latino wants.
Let's see what he wants. His favorite movie is Training Day, no doubt.
I like his toupee.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Yo, Cats crew, what up?
Nick, Chin, everybody in the back, what's up?
Gang Gang, Buzz Buzz, Brickman Chris, Soar.
Ooh-wee.
And Eric.
Woo-woo-woo-woo.
Oh, not bad.
All right, my kingdom thing is for you.
Crowdsurfing your baby so the rock can hold it.
I saw this, bro.
I'm fucking stumped.
I didn't see it.
This was a hilarious video.
Check this out.
Dude.
I got the video.
Before you even play it.
Where's the rock at where they're crowdsurfing?
Mexico.
He's just in Cancun like sipping.
No, no, no, no, no.
Mexico.
Not Cancun, Mexico.
Oh, he's in like deep.
Guadalajara.
Chris just said, not white Mexico.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what the subtext of that was.
Chris said, not the safe Mexico.
Yeah, yeah.
Not white Mexico where you have a suite.
Yeah.
The kind of Mexico where they were like, hold my baby so it's blessed.
Like that kind of, you know what I'm talking about?
Or they're like, hold my baby.
We're giving them up for a sacrifice.
Hold him for good luck like that all right
well that baby's like what in the fuck it's like darren aronofsky's mother
yeah yeah totally how about the rock Give me a vest, no shirt.
What a great way to find out that you're the father.
There's just some woman in the crowd.
Send him his baby.
Just some Mexican lady?
You were here a year ago, motherfucker.
This is your baby.
That would be a great moment where he just goes, oh, my God.
Throw it back.
Throw it back.
I mean, what's more dangerous, this or when Michael Jackson hung his baby over the balcony?
Well, that was way more dangerous.
Random strangers crowd surfing your fucking kid to the rock?
True, but it's not that high up, number one.
Number two, the rock is very capable, and Michael Jackson is very frail.
Oh, you've never seen him dance? Okay. All right. Good good i mean but what's somebody okay and he's also holding him by his neck dude how can you do that well he's just bad with babies
all what's somebody gonna do though like like you know as the baby's going towards the rock
somebody's like got it and then you just see a dude take i know i know that happened but here's
the thing the rock if i'm the rock in that situation, I go like this.
The whole time, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.
Hey, give it back to the lake.
Give it.
No, no, no, no, no.
Oh, God damn it.
All right.
But he's just like, wow.
Yeah, he's like, breathe.
First of all.
Sacrifice.
You're saying if you were the rock.
I'm going to come down there.
Hold on.
Stay there.
I'll come down.
Right, right, right.
I'll be right down there.
This is going to happen at one of your shows, clearly. It will, yeah. And the crazy part is the baby's going to come up.. Hold on. Stay there. I'll come down. Right, right, right. I'll be right down there. This is going to happen at one of your shows, clearly.
It will, yeah.
And the crazy part is the baby's going to come up, and you're going to see, and then
on the baby's chest, it's going to say, life rips.
I knew you were going from the beginning.
I knew you were going from the beginning.
The baby has a life rips tattoo on his head.
You would be like, whoa.
And that was the moment.
You would just go like this.
Ah, the bingo!
Calvin, in the corner like
Hold me
That now is what was the rock there for like Jumanji 7 or some shit. No, it's for black Adam
Has coward you call me looked at your tattoos and been like yeah, I've a little bit about it
I want one of these. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah
I asked for him cuz you know those you know those stickers that they put on?
Yeah.
My kids, I'll take them.
Because they want to look like me.
They have tattoos.
The fake tattoos all over their arms.
I drew all of my tattoos that I have on him with a marker.
It was really funny.
He was just like, he loved it.
Oof.
And that's how it starts.
I know.
Oh, my tiger's going to have a face tattoo.
I think he's 14.
I'm getting another one on Sunday.
He's going to be in a neighborhood gang.
You'll see. I'll tell you after. You know what? There's 14. I'm getting another one on Sunday. He's going to be in a neighborhood gang. You'll see.
I'll tell you after.
You know what?
There's nothing worse than when you tell somebody your tattoo, and they go, why would you get
that?
It's got cool meaning, though.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
No, you'll like it.
But you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, of course.
I don't tell anybody when I get tattoos.
Just cut to Calvin on a big wheel, just in the neighborhood.
Just going to do the bad, bad thing.
Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow.
What up, King of the, pound. What up?
King the Sting in the wing. Whiskey P.
This is Jared. I'm from Oregon. Santino let him
go. I got a debate club for you guys.
So, I sent Nick two videos
and I want you guys to watch
those and let me know, would you rather be
Jordan Poole getting super band punched
by Draymond Green
or would you rather
be the guy who has to sit on the sidelines
at the Giants game
and collect those semen samples
like we do here in Oregon
with the horses?
Oh, wow.
Just take a look at those videos
and see what I mean.
Who would you rather be?
Gang Gang, Buzz Buzz,
Soar, and...
Woof, woof!
Wow.
Oh, nice.
You sounded like the oh nice he sounded like
the fucking
he sounded like
that flute
that Lizzo played
oh wow
so
rather be the guy
who gets punched
or the trainer
he really knocked him hard
what the fuck
is this guy doing
boom
on the right
he's massaging
he's massaging
he just looks funny
from that angle
no he's milking him
he's milking him he's milking him. He's milking him.
He's milking him.
Because he's got a... He's probably got a terrible cramp.
That's funny.
Oh, and why is his ass cheating?
It legit looks like he's stroking him.
He is stroking it hard, too.
And it's reverse style, which I don't enjoy.
Oh, that's hilarious.
Oh, okay.
Oh, my God, that's hilarious.
The guy's face, too.
Oh, he's a tennis player?
Oh, he's doing the same thing.
He's doing the same thing.
Wow, that's so funny.
Wow. That's so funny. And the guy. The guy's face, too. Oh, he's a tennis player? Oh, he's doing the same thing. He's doing the same thing. Wow, that's so funny. Wow.
That's so funny.
And the guy in the back's so into it.
He's all, yeah.
Yeah, someone actually put him on.
Well, yeah, I'd rather get, I mean.
Wow.
That guy, dude.
He's so into it.
He's all.
Yeah, well, obviously.
Poole deserved that, though.
It's also, it's practice.
When Draymond Green's like, I'm going to have to step away from the team, it's like, what?
We're talking about practice.
Yeah, that's odd. That's the problem talking about practice. Yeah, that's odd.
That's the problem with cell phones.
That guy was talking shit. We don't know what he was
saying. No, I do. I do.
Yeah, we know what he's saying.
I'm too deep into it, dude. You know it? How do you know?
Yeah. Draymond Green came out and said what he was saying.
Yeah, but I have two issues with this. What?
Okay. Before you get all,
can I get to my point? Yeah.
First of all,
violence isn't the answer. This is what I get to my point? Yeah. Yeah, first of all Violence isn't the answer
This is what I'm saying
If we if the cameras are off and then we're getting into a thing and you guys start fighting
All right, that's our business quick. Quick fight if it's me. That's our business
100% but if one if some asshole over here is recording it it puts it out on the internet
Fuck that person. Yeah. Oh, I agree. I'll take it. I the internet fuck that person yeah oh i agree i'll
take it i mean like fuck that person because the thing is this but here's the thing but you're
right don't fuck it up i don't know but when the tape gets out you do have to answer for it right
yeah of course it's the same thing like it should have never got out it should never got out like
whoever put that tape out they need to fire that person that's what they're trying to find out and
they need to get them to fuck out of the building but that person never paid they sold no no the other thing
what happened is that person works for golden state in some capacity maybe the intern something
sent to a friend the friend was like dude that's so stupid bro immature they gotta go that person's
got to go they gotta go oh i agree like no get out you know what I mean? Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
It's like if you have a text chain with your friends.
We say a bunch of stuff that I would never want out in public.
But if it gets out in public, you have to answer for it.
You're right.
Those are my friends, and that wasn't meant for your bitch asses.
Yeah, boom.
That's the thing that happens.
And so it's so frustrating.
You know what really takes me off, too, about some of these things that get out or whatever?
It's like if you talk about COVID, right?
There's like a thing that comes on Instagram like this needs to be fact-checked and all this kind of stuff.
But a motherfucker can just say anything about your character or anything.
There's no fact-checking going on.
There's nobody going like, well, we need to make sure that this is correct before you disparage this person's fucking character.
Man, Eric's on it today.
You know what I mean?
It's unbelievable, man.
It's unbelievable.
You were a good addition to this show.
Hey, I think we made the right choice.
It just frustrates me, man.
It just frustrates me, the hypocrisy.
You know what I mean?
But anyways, Draymond Green did the right thing.
He had to come out.
He needed to apologize.
He needed to answer for that.
Now that it's out.
Everything that he said was one point.
Because you know Michael Jordan.
And I'll be talking about this on Riffin' with Griffin.
So check me out on Riffin' with Griffin.
Yeah, Scott, take him there.
Just did the take.
That's fine.
And to Twitch.
Check me out on Twitch every single day.
Eric Griffin Gaming.
And I will be solely talking about this on my Don't Push Me Tour.
ChrisLeah.com.
I have an hour of Draymond.
Yes.
Whatever his name is.
Yeah, Draymond Green is actually opening up for me.
Draymond Green is actually.
It should be Draymond.
He's opening up for me in San Jose.
Really?
This Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
And then Carl Malone is opening up for me in Salt Lake City.
Carl Malone.
Next Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
The mailman.
You can't even find Carl Malone.
He's on like a farm someplace.
He just gets those peg needles. The mailman is opening up for you. Dude Malone. He's on like a farm someplace. He just gets those peg nails.
The mailman is opening up for you.
Dude, how about how I know my stuff from the fucking 80s and 90s?
The mailman.
And I'm also going to be on stage in Salt Lake City in my short shorts like Stockton.
Let's not wear those short shorts on stage.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that was easy.
Yeah.
When you're right, you're right.
I'm not going to fight you.
Do you wear hats on stage?
Backwards.
Not that?
I did in Nashville because it's Nashville.
And Daisy Mae's based out of Nashville, so he brought it to the green room.
I was like, I'll wear it.
You make sense.
Send me a hat, guys.
No, don't, don't, don't.
What are you talking about?
They can send you a dope superhero-themed one.
You know how some people have the sunglasses that they turn into shades?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Chris doesn't need that. He he just has one and then he'll put another one here and then he'll also
have his reading glasses like a fly yeah he just rotates them what's this Nate
this guy prison he gives his uh king of the sting at
the end but he was just recording some crazy stuff in public
oh it's a karen pissed off you're riding in the bike lane Not a Karen.
Keg or stain.
Public transportation.
Oh!
I mean, it's good for the environment.
He also added,
the video was taken at 5.45 a.m. on my way to work.
Oh, wow.
The woman in pink pants repeatedly pepper sprayed the other woman.
She claims it's because the woman threatened her kids. No, there. The woman in pink pants repeatedly pepper sprayed the other woman. She claims it's because
the woman threatened her kids.
No, there are no kids with her.
Listen, it's a good way
to start your day.
A little excitement.
Where is this, in New York?
San Jose.
Oh, wow.
Oh, oh.
That's near Oakland.
Well, I'll avoid the train system
this week, this Thursday,
Friday, Saturday.
There's no way that's New York.
It's way too clean.
Yeah. Dude, one time I was in New York. Yeah There's no way that's New York. It's way too clean. Yeah.
Dude, one time I was in New York.
Yeah.
One time I was in New York, and it's late.
I'm waiting for the subway.
And there was a dude standing a little bit behind me.
And all I did was look at him, because I heard somebody.
This motherfucker was like, what the fuck's your problem?
You know what?
And I was like, you know what?
I got excited for a second because I was like,
wow,
this is mad New York.
Hopefully I get more.
New York is happening right now.
Yeah,
that's so funny.
You know what?
You know what?
That's so New York
and it's so New York
that not a fight happened.
Like,
I walked into a deli once
because I needed to find an ATM
in New York
and I walked in
and I said,
hey,
do you have an ATM? And the guy's like, nah're gonna buy something and i'm like nah i just want to
know if you have uh to get cash he's like nah we don't have that if you're a customer come in he's
like go fuck yourself and i was like and i and i was like in my head i was like this is new york
and i go like this fuck you and i walk out and there's probably no issues no issues that's how
they that's how they communicate.
It's hilarious.
And I love it.
I was thinking the same thing.
I love it.
It's hilarious.
The guy got even madder at me
because I was smiling.
Yeah.
You know,
because I was like,
oh shit,
I was like,
this is so New York.
So funny, bro.
What am I,
a clown?
You know,
he was like,
I was like,
no man,
it's just,
I'm not from here.
You know,
I'm just trying to get on the subway.
New York is.
Thank you for the experience.
Yeah.
I want to take a selfie.
Because in LA, it's over before...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I was shot.
You know what I mean?
In LA, it's like, fuck you.
And then all of a sudden, you get a call from your lawyer.
Like, what?
For what?
Dude, I was in Seattle.
And I went to the...
I wish I could remember the name of the place.
But it's a bar restaurant, right?
And everybody's kind of acting up.
Is it the Honey Hole?
They're acting rude.
So I'm standing there, and I got some ketchup, some french fries.
And I just, I want to ask the guy, I go like this, I want to ask the guy, can I get some?
And the guy's like, hey, we don't fucking hail people here, man.
We don't what?
We don't hail people.
You don't flag us down for shit, okay?
I'm a human.
I just was like, okay.
Like you snapped.
How do you get ketchup in here?
Excuse me?
Yeah, it just was like, that's your whole thing.
Text me, motherfucker.
It was like the real version of that asshole restaurant.
You know what I mean?
Dick's Last Resort.
Dick's, yeah.
Dick's was one.
There's a bunch of them, but yeah.
But Dick's is just like they're playing around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But this dude was like, this is what they do here.
And I thought to myself, I'm never coming to your fucking bullshit bar again.
No, I didn't get down.
In Seattle, I was at, you know, in the gay area.
I didn't know it.
I saw the rainbows on the cement, but whatever.
I didn't know.
Whatever.
But I went to a place called the Glory Hole.
And they have a, I'm sorry, it was the Honey Hole.
Okay, well.
It was a Honey Hole.
They have nice sandwiches and they have a coffee shop in there the person making the coffee i don't know
the pronoun i'm just trying to get a fuck my coffee my iced coffee i'm trying to start my day
it was he he looked like me bigger way more tattoos but was in a dress but had its back to
me okay and then they had its back i don't know the pronouns i don't want to fuck it up right
they someone else gave me a coffee, and I just went.
It was bigger than me.
I go, hey, bro, can I get a straw?
Yeah.
Turns around.
I was like, bro?
No, you can't get a fucking straw.
Bro?
How dare you?
I was like, dude, I just want a fucking straw.
Just give me a goddamn straw.
So because you labeled him a male.
And we're together now.
Labeled her.
And we're together now.
Because you labeled her a male.
See, that story went nowhere, and I fully redeemed myself.
No, no no no
that's a good story the whole yeah what'd you say tiger's father yeah so hold on so me and him have
a time because he wanted you to she she wanted you to say her no or they or they or them wow
i went hey bro can i you know how it's just naturally yeah you call it but i'm talking i
thought maybe i don't know it was in a like a summer dress, but jack, dude.
And I was just like, hey, bro, can I get a straw?
Bro.
Yeah, but you don't want to, the whole point, it's weird too because the whole point is
like, aren't we trying to smash all of this?
So people should be allowed to wear dresses.
I don't give a fuck.
You can be a guy and wear a dress.
You can be a guy.
Dude, how about this?
I didn't want to just assume.
Hey, excuse me, ma'am.
Bro, the kind of thing where you go like, even if Rachel says something funky to me,
I'll be like, bro.
Dude.
It's like, dude, yeah.
My mom calls me bro.
Dude, I was at – so I was watching the new Hellraiser movie, okay?
Yeah, don't do that though.
Well, I did, and I actually liked it.
Better than the 80s one?
When's the last time you've seen the 80s one?
Yeah, a lot of that shit doesn't stand.
It doesn't hold up.
So anyway, Eric will definitely watch it because it's a movie and it exists.
So I was watching this, and the pinhead is this androgynous kind of like,
I'm out!
No, no, no, no.
But okay, look, it's a cenobite okay it's
a demon so it doesn't really matter that's not true dude it act that actually is it's not true
because they don't exist but it is true okay so anyway oh is this like a little mermaid situation
no no so so i'm watching the movie true to the story no no no no so i'm watching the movie
supposed to be a white male now look now look i don't give a fuck who plays this shit at all.
I'm watching a movie.
I honestly can't tell if it's a male or a female.
How about it's a female?
You know that.
And then when they talk, it talks like this, right?
Well, it's a demon talk.
No, I wouldn't know.
By the way, I love playing that game in public.
You just go, hire a girl.
Right, right, right.
You can do that in L.A.
And lose a lot. Yeah. So I don't know if it's a man. If you saw it, you would go, hire a girl. Right, right, right. You can do that in L.A. And lose a lot.
And so I don't know if it's a man.
If you saw it, you would probably not know either.
At first I thought it was a woman.
But then after the movie goes, I was like, this is a man.
Okay, so I don't know.
So I look up later and I say, I look it up later, right after I watch the movie,
and it says, it's a woman that plays this part.
And I'm like, that's interesting.
And then I'm like, they probably chose a woman because
they wanted to change things up.
It's the times. It's a little bit more
woke. And I'm like, okay. But I got no problem
with it. It's fucking Pinhead. I don't give a
shit what they are. It's a demon from the fucking
underworld, right? So
I'm like, alright. So
a day goes by and I
watch the first Hellraiser. It's
obviously a dude, right?
The pinhead is obviously a dude.
The original character is a dude.
Yes.
So now, don't Google anything.
So now I look more shit.
I was like, I want to see who played the thing.
So I Google a YouTube video of the woman who plays the thing.
And she's like, when I got the part, yada, yada.
And I'm like, what the fuck?
And then I Googled more and it's a trans woman.
So I'm like,
okay,
now I like it.
Okay.
It's fine.
But they didn't lead with,
it's a trans woman.
They were like,
there's now a woman playing a thing.
And I get trans women are women,
but it's like guys who don't really understand the deal.
We have to catch up and we don't understand.
It can be distracting.
Already a demon is tough.
But it's not that it's distracting.
It's like, okay, so do we say they're trans women or do we just say they're women?
No, you just say it's a demon.
Okay.
You're missing the point.
But do you understand what I'm saying?
Mm-hmm.
So where's your hot take?
Hey, Eric, you'll appreciate this.
I forget if some black comedian posts this.
He goes, Disney wants to be woke,
and everybody's all upset about Little Mermaid being black, blah, blah, blah.
He goes, Disney, I dare you.
Turn Tarzan into Black Man.
Turn Tarzan into Black Man and see how it goes.
Oh, that's hilarious.
He goes, you don't have the balls for it, Disney.
That's hilarious.
Swinging on blinds?
Yeah, that's funny.
He goes, I dare you, Disney.
But here's the thing.
I just found this out.
The original, the person that wrote Little Mermaid was actually gay.
And the story was about himself.
Oh, really?
You don't sing that?
He felt like a mermaid.
But it's just a show to have to change yourself to be in another world.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, The Matrix.
You know what I mean?
Have you seen The Matrix?
If you watch it as somebody who wants to change their gender, it's an incredible watch.
And it's awesome.
I didn't even think about that.
It's awesome.
So red pill, blue pill.
Red pill, you're gay.
If you watch that shit and think about how the creators are transgender, it's fucking awesome.
Oh, I didn't know that either.
It's awesome. Oh, I didn't know that either. It's awesome. Same thing if you watch Harry Potter
and you think about how she's a bigot,
it makes it so much better.
Okay, well.
But anyway, my point is,
there are definitely some women out there
that are watching Hellraiser
that see it, that are like,
cool, nice for women.
And then they're like,
all right.
When they find out the trans thing,
they're like, all right, dude.
You know know because straight
white women had about fucking 20 minutes where they were the shit pamela anderson days and then
no no no no it was like a year and a half ago no no and then and then and no where they could get
all this and now it's like it now it's about people of color and trans and straight white
women are basically white dudes now yes you know You know what I mean? It's hilarious.
They had about 10 minutes, bro.
And the funny part is like the woke ones, they can't verbalize it.
Right.
Of course.
Because they're just like, oh, I don't want to come out as anti-trans.
I know.
But damn, where are the parts for the women?
I know.
I was doing, when I was doing I'm dying up here eric is better looking
than i wasn't i mean clearly i'm just saying do you know i don't want to doubt i won't get on your
side i do know but uh yeah i was doing a i remember doing i'm dying up here and like having a
conversation on set about we were just talking about how lou how louis anderson played what's
all right right right right right oh so good too and i remember in the middle of this conversation melissa leo who was the star
she had feelings about it because she's a woman of age right right right she was like oh yeah they
got a man to play a part for a woman that like there isn't a lot of parts for right you know
what i mean it's just nobody's as talented as louis she won an Oscar. No, Melissa Lee was amazing.
Yeah, she won an Oscar.
But my point is, so think of that.
So even think of, you know what I mean?
So it's like, Louis wasn't trans.
No, he's not trans, yeah.
He was just a dude in a wig.
Yeah.
Played it great.
That's interesting, huh?
I mean, it was a comedy, but still, yeah.
He won an Emmy!
Oh, right.
He was fantastic.
He won an Emmy as a woman.
Yes, fantastic.
What a funny idea.
God, they never do that now. A few years later, they could never do that. He was fantastic. He won an Emmy as a woman. What a funny idea. God, they never do that now.
A few years later, they could never do that. Right.
Is this, you know what I mean? Oh, try making Hot Topic again, where Robert Downey Jr.
plays the black guy. You know he's up for an Oscar for that.
Hot Topic, he calls it.
On the best moment in fans' history.
Oh my God, dude. I ruined
the name of the movie. It's
Tropic Thunder. Hot? They're not even
close! Topic! You might as well call it fucking Refrigerator Dance movie. It's Tropic Thunder. Hot? They're not even close. Topic!
You might as well call it fucking
Refrigerator Dance Hour. It's not that.
Refrigerator Dance Hour?
Hot? No, or if you said like, oh yeah,
he's up for Gap Kids.
I'm sorry, I meant
Schindler's List.
He just picked a store.
Oh my God, dude. Banana Republic. I mean Blood Diamond. Schindler's List. He just picked a store.
Oh my God, dude. Banana Republic.
I mean Blood Diamond.
Sometimes my CD will flare up
at the worst moment.
Hot Topic!
Now, I did reference
Hot Topic early in the show. It's probably hot on my mind.
They couldn't make Tropic Thunder
now, and it's a shame. Thank you for moving on.
There's no way.
There's certain shows if you, Robert Downey Jr.
There's certain shows if you look back, they wouldn't even be able to make now at all either.
I've said this before, but they couldn't
make Workaholics right now in the same way.
They couldn't make that bro culture.
No one's going to agree.
Three white male. It just wouldn't get made.
It just wouldn't get made. It's a shame.
Good luck making friends.
Oh my God. Friends. Even though Barry came out and was like, I'm so ashamed. get made yeah so you know it's a shame good luck making friends oh my god friends even though even
no even though it came out i'm so ashamed bring this up more diversity it's like bring this up
oh don't even get me started no hold on hold on so mad i know before look that's what i brought
it up here this is what tv used to look like and this is actually ridiculous and if you see this
you kind of understand you got even if you white, you understand it. Look up the Roswell poster, the Roswell cast.
What's Roswell, though?
It's a show on the CW.
It was like, I don't even know when it was.
Not mad yet either, Chris.
There we go.
What do you mean not mad yet?
You told me I'd be mad at this.
No, no, no.
I didn't say you'd be mad.
Look at it.
That's hilarious.
Literally, everybody's just white.
No, the guy on the far left is Latino.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
And I know him.
Do you know him? Yes. Oh, yeah. I know the guy on the far left is Latino, and I know him. Do you know him?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
I know that guy, too.
That's hilarious.
I know that guy, too.
I met him once.
He's a dime piece.
He looks like that.
The fact that you can gloss over that and not know that he's Latino
is exactly why they did it like that.
He's Latino as fuck.
Every character he plays is Latino.
Go back.
There was another one that had even more people, and they were all white,
and that guy was not there. That one right there. Right? No is Latino. Go back. There was another one that had even more people and they were all white.
And that guy was not there.
That one.
That one right there.
Right.
No, bottom.
Right there.
Everyone.
Everyone white.
Dude, that's so wild.
Isn't that wild?
I don't know.
This is TV, man.
But that.
Well, not anymore.
But I mean like that. That's Tom Hanks' son.
Yeah.
This is still TV today, Chris.
What show is all white people like this?
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
Nine white guys?
Most shows are still...
Name a show here.
No way.
Name a show.
No way.
Name a show.
That's crazy.
Name a show.
Name the biggest shows, though.
I don't watch TV like that.
Well, this is somebody who's not...
Well, you're white, too, but you're...
You're white inside.
I'm just saying, like, there's still...
So you'd notice more than we would.
That's what I'm saying.
You don't think it's getting better?
No.
It's definitely getting better.
I mean, better, so you have, like... So now there's going to be the one black neighbor now or something like that?
No, there's full-blown shows.
You're such a Latino guy.
What about blackish?
No, but what I'm saying is, okay, so there's the one.
No, I can keep naming shows.
There's a ton of shows.
Here's my point.
The fact that you can name the show is my point.
I can't name any shows.
My point is, yeah, you can name.
I love that's the one they go to.
It's just like the people that argue about this Little Mermaid.
You know what they say?
Well, if we change Black Panther to white, you know why you could pick that?
Because there's no others.
Well, no.
That's a dumb one.
There's an all-white superhero.
It's called The Avengers.
Right, right.
But hold on.
All right, so you're saying that most TV is this way?
Just go NBC's current lineup or something.
All right.
Yeah, let's do this.
Hey, Eric, let me ask you this.
And again, I have no dog in this fight.
Neither do I.
I'm not on TV, so I don't give a fuck.
My thing here is, though, is so America is predominantly –
the black population makes up how much of America?
15%?
It makes up all of the, you know, fashion culture.
I'm not asking that.
I'm not asking that. I'm not asking that.
No, I'm not.
But it's just a numbers game, too.
And sports.
It's a numbers game.
Listen, man, I don't.
It's a numbers game.
You're arguing with me like I'm saying there should be more of whatever.
Well, you're saying it's still not better.
No, I'm saying.
My point is if I'm trying to make money, I'm going to, the most money I'm going to, you know, try to get the majority of the audience.
All I'm saying to you is this.
I don't like when people say, oh, it's better now.
And I'm saying, like, it's not.
When I go to audition, when I'm auditioning and stuff,
when I'm looking for parts that I'm going for,
when I look at the cast, it's all the same.
It's still the same.
Do you think it's the shows you audition for?
It's just the same.
You audition for whitish.
Well, The Quantum Leap is a good example because now it's not a white guy, right?
I know, but there's-
Vampire Diaries.
What I'm saying is, yeah, they have-
Interview with vampires.
That's actually a great show.
With a vampire?
I want to watch it.
Oh, that's a great show.
Oh, it's not like woke vampires?
I'd push back on that.
No, no, no, no.
I'd push back on that.
All right, so what else, though?
You haven't seen it?
No, my buddy's in it, too.
You haven't seen the movie?
The old one, Vampire Diaries.
There's not a Vampire Diaries movie, so-
Yeah, they got-
Listen, man, they're trying to do stuff, but they're trying to do stuff, and it's not working in some
cases.
But you still got the Conners.
The Conners came back on the air.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's still one of the number one shows.
Oh, you know what shows I was thinking about the other day they could never fucking make?
Married with Children.
No way.
No fucking way.
Al Bundy, just the misogynist, and just talking shit to Peggy?
Even All in the family.
Oh, well, that.
Forget it.
They were basically slave owners.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I mean, this is pretty diverse.
What I'm saying is they have-
Unless you're Latino.
I'm saying there are a bunch of shows like this that they're coming out with now.
So you're saying-
But you want more.
You want it all.
No, I'm not saying that.
No, see, I hate when people say that.
I take offense to that.
Well, he's joking.
No, no, no.
Clearly joking. No, you're joking, but people you're joking but people but that's how people come
let's say if you make I hate when the people do this if you're making an argument about something
then they want to immediately go to like well well what about it's like when you're no it's
like when you're talking to your your girl and she's like and you're like and you get on her
for something and she's like fine then I won't ever say anything ever again in my life right
exactly yeah yeah that's not what I'm saying that's stupid she's like, fine, then I won't ever say anything ever again in my life. Right, exactly.
That's not what I'm saying.
You're like, that's stupid.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm just saying that it's still really – and for that reason that you're saying, I agree.
Not everything's racism, man.
Not everything's racism or prejudice.
It's a lot of things.
It's just about – it is a money issue.
It is about like – it's just like when you're watching a black show, you look at the mcdonald's commercial comes on it's always going to be
you know it's the it's the demographic they're going for right for different shows and stuff
like that i i i'm not i'm not trying to say whatever yeah because like because i feel like
you can't buy sprite anymore if you're white the reason why i like this interview with a vampire
by the way is because of how they're doing it.
Vampire Diaries?
No, no, no, no.
Oh, I thought you were talking about Interview with a Vampire.
It is Interview with a Vampire.
I thought you were talking about Vampire Diaries.
Sorry, oops, my bad.
Interview with a Vampire.
It's on Amazon Plus.
It's actually, and they changed the character.
That's a hot topic.
They changed the character.
One of the characters is now black.
He's like this light-skinned black guy from New Orleans, right?
Right.
But the way they're doing it, it doesn't even matter.
Well, of course.
That's cool.
I don't give a shit about that. It's great how they're doing it. it see I don't give a fuck if they're good enough actors I don't care
but I'm saying sometimes you see it and you're just like I wonder why they did this if you can
smell the agenda if they're pushing I'm like oh man when you know they're not doing it because
of any reason then they think it affects their bottom line it sucks but if you think if they're
like you know what what if we make him black and he's from New Orleans and then this and that and
this back to her and it's interesting, then
fucking by all means.
Yeah, it's super interesting.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
Dude, how?
But I'm not for it at all.
Who's more handsome?
Wow.
Wow.
That hurts my feelings.
This is all of Eric Griffin.
Dummy account.
That's a hard.
I'm just over here doing this.
I'm just pressing this.
But to be fair, that's mainly dudes.
True. And they don't know.
I think they know.
What's this?
Can Eric Griffin wear a hat?
Hat guy?
Oh, so it's pretty split.
Oh, that's pretty even.
And look, just dudes, dudes, dudes.
Chad, Charlie, Tyler, Liam.
It says fucking Dahmer lover 95.
Tyler voted for me.
Thank you, Tyler.
It's kind of like, you know, we don't know yet.
Maybe I need a better hat.
Yeah.
You need a bigger hat.
It was like a yarmulke.
Hat for first ride and it's 56%?
Not bad.
Ask your girl.
Ask your girl.
You can take this hat home.
Be like, hey, babe, what do you think?
No, she's awesome.
I've been in stores with her, and she's just looking at me like.
But they don't have these in stores.
That's where you're fucked up.
This guy.
What do you got?
But that's too much of a hat to me.
It's borderline cowboy.
I'm thinking of one of those like fedora or something like that.
That ain't for you.
So you look like Charlie Chaplin?
I'm out.
I'm out.
I quit the show.
Fedora?
That'd be too much.
Yeah.
That's it.
All right, look.
ChrisLeah.com.
My new tour, General On Sale, just went on.
I'm coming to all the spots, man. I love the name.
Yeah, Don't Push Me.
You can sell the Don't Push Me merch, too, there.
I got the Joe.
Don't Push Me.
We can get it.
Yes, we have those on ChrisLeah.com.
But the official tour shirts, you can only get in person, which has really been selling like hotcakes. That's what I do. I know. I know. I may have gotten that ChrisLeah.com, but the official tour shirts you can only get in person,
which has really been selling like hotcakes. That's what I do.
I know.
I may have gotten that idea from you.
You did.
Okay.
Okay.
God damn it.
And I'll be in San Jose this Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
San Jose Improv.
Come get you some.
If the serial killer's up there, be cool, man.
All right?
Be fucking cool, dude.
And then next week, I'm in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Wise guys.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday. dude and then next week i'm in salt lake city utah wise guys thursday friday saturday the week after
that uh october 27th 28th i'm in calgary canada at the rooftop downtown the thursday show is damn
near sold out so we add a show on friday get your son right now in november san antonio houston
you're up baby take it to thickboy.com also we just europe he said you're up you're up sounded
like you're yeah i know i'm a hot topic we just uh restock Europe? He said you're up. You're up. It sounded like you're up. Yeah, I know. I was speech impediment. We just restocked that thick nectar.
Tiger Thick is restocked.
Go to Thick Boy.
Order it.
It comes to your doorstep.
You're welcome.
Skankfest.
St. Petersburg with Rick Glassman and Colusa Casino, 28th.
Come check me out.
Yeah, we did it, boys.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
It's the king and the sting. Back up in the sting. Yeah, we did it, boys. Wait, I get the gist. I just probably have to slow it down and hit it like this.
It's the king, the wing, and the sting.
It's the wing and the king and the sting.
Hold on, hold on.
Hold on, wait a minute.
Let me think.
It's the king and the sting and the wing.
Let's go.
King and the sting and the wing.
Brought it full circle and put on the whole team.
Legendary trio, Brittany, Chris, and Theo.
What you mean?
You know it's the king And the sting And the wing