The Golden Hour - Episode 3: New Studio

Episode Date: January 9, 2019

The guys are back and in the new studio to cover all your favorite segments and more, enjoy!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee omnystudio.com/listen...er for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Ah, yeah, it's the bee sting king and the rat king Welcome to CTE Behind the Scenes. Bro, you got some CTE. That's for sure. Dude, I was born with a couple of different things. Low oxygen. Low IQ. What else? Carbon monoxide.
Starting point is 00:00:43 There was a fire. A little bit of the down. You got that down ass oh dude you got that DSS you mean downs yeah they had a bunch of geese outside when I was born is that what you're talking about
Starting point is 00:00:52 what's up there was a bunch of geese outside when I was born is that what you're talking about when you say downs yeah and I beat down syndrome and a lot of people know that
Starting point is 00:00:59 and others haven't it's a survivor story I knew that bro oh I'll be back for you those people that haven't made it I'll be back for you. Those people that haven't made it, I'll be back for you. New studio, bro. Yeah, new studio.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Look at this. Same wall piece, huh? Same old sign, brand new studio. Looking like a real beehive up in here, bro. Yeah, man. And you know, I catch that free buzz off that paint. Yeah, me too. Oh, yeah, you got problems.
Starting point is 00:01:24 You tell your parole officer about this? I don't have a parole officer. You don't? I thought you had a therapist, a parole officer, one of those service dogs, a service peacock, and a reptile that keeps you calm on planes. It's a therapist, okay? You say a therapist like it's a drink you get a set of 11. I'm from there, bro.
Starting point is 00:01:45 You're not from there. It's a therapist right there you didn't grow up yeah give me a couple of therapists you ain't ready for that did i do that you don't know shit about that i love mystical and uh what was the question oh it looks like charlie brown painted our set huh oh definitely got that charlie brown sweater oh it really does i mean think about that um what were you talking about uh i was talking about you have a service dog um i don't know bro i don't know i'm nervous to go to edmonton you ever been there or it's freezing oh dude i one time i was at a um you know i was at a group event down in florida i was on a cruise ship you know vessel and we parked at the end of it and i got off, got onto a plane, right? I've been drinking and partying all weekend.
Starting point is 00:02:28 You were there with your friends. You weren't working. You were just. Oh yeah. I was there with my friends having fun. With older people. Yeah. All types of all age people.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Even some kid even tried to tickle me in the hot tub one time and it caused quite a stir. All right, Artelli. I didn't know him. He chose to do it. But anyway, what happened was I got on a plane, man, just hung over. I lay down. I crashed, right? It was like 78 degrees when I got on the airplane in Fort Lauderdale.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I get off in Edmonton, dude. It's negative 37 degrees. And you're still dressed like Weekend at Bernie's? The person next to me died whenever we left this. Just frozen. Oh, they were completely frozen. They were completely fucking frozen, dude. I get off.
Starting point is 00:03:04 People are, yeah, there's just frozen people everywhere. It's so goddamn cold out there. Just like frozen children. It's like asking stuff for their mom. Frozen dudes like that. Yeah, just chill. Dude, I remember walking to the grocery. I was dressed like Ben Selleck or something in Magnum P.I., you know?
Starting point is 00:03:23 Okay. Tom Selleck. Thomas. Thomas Selleck or something in Magnum PI. Okay. Tom Selleck. Thomas. Thomas Selleck. And some guy pulled over. He's like, you're going to die, man. Rat made a bunch of wolves and shit. Hey, line, bro.
Starting point is 00:03:34 What were you thinking? How long ago was that? Trying to get a snack, trying to grab some oatmeal or something. This was probably about seven years ago. Oh, a hot minute ago. Dude, I got food poisoning after that. Damn, you're making me scared to go to Edmonton. Very ago. Dude, I got food poisoning after that. Damn. You're making me scared to go to Edmonton.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Very scared. Dude, I would not eat anything up there. Bring your own food. Really? And don't drink the water? Dude, I wouldn't drink anything up there. No, I said Edmonton, not Mexico. I know. Really?
Starting point is 00:03:57 Dude, Edmonton, it's the cold Mexico. It's the fucking ice Mexico. Dude, it is. Damn, bro. Bro, there's people. Yeah, it's very alarming, man. It can be's people. Yeah, it's very alarming, man. It could be very alarming. But a lot of nice people, man.
Starting point is 00:04:08 I'm sure you'll have a good time. Yeah, hopefully, bro. All right, let's get into this, man. Let's get into this, man. What we got this week. Thanks to all the fans for the submissions. You guys, again, you guys make this show. They've been great.
Starting point is 00:04:19 They've been hilarious. Some of them have been pretty subject, but some of them have been great. Some get weird, yeah. I was just trying to be positive, dude. I know you were. Yeah, thanks. Definitely some weird ones, but for the most part, it was hard to pick only four or five. Let's start with the Bay Club.
Starting point is 00:04:34 The first one is from Travis Hart. Oh, wow. Travis Hart, the rapper? Yeah, slap on your headphones if you can real quick just to hear it. Okay. This dude's a rapper? No, no. I'm thinking of somebody else. Oh, you're thinking of Travis Scott. Travis Scott. What's this dude's a rapper no no i'm thinking of somebody else are
Starting point is 00:04:46 you thinking of travis scott what's this guy's name travis heart very similar very easy mess up how's it going theo and brendan my name is travis i'm from great falls montana i have a debate club topic for you guys i am a big fan of music my two favorite genres are traditional country and rap so i want to know debate club rap music country music, but good rap music versus good country music. Not like Lil Pump versus Florida Georgia Line. Poor shit. I love both of those. Notorious B.I.D. versus George Strait.
Starting point is 00:05:13 So debate club, rap music versus country music. I appreciate you guys. Yeah. Oh, wow. Florida Georgia Line is probably one of the top 60 or 70 bands of all time. You're right. Don't fucking touch me, bro. I'm serious, dude.
Starting point is 00:05:24 I love Florida Georgia Line. Do not touch me. I'm sorry,! Don't fucking touch me, bro. I love Florida Georgia Line. Do not touch me. I'm sorry, man. Don't touch me, though. But that Florida Georgia Line just got me. Any man of mine who sang that song? Stomp, stomp. That lady. Stomp, stomp. Yeah, Shania Twain. Shania Twain. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:39 Yeah, we're talking good shit. Well, let's be honest. Country music is basically white rap. Correct. The words rhyme. Alcohol. Yep. There's booze.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Chicks. There's chicks. They just don't refer to them as hoes. Yeah, they don't call them bitches. They call them women. They have bitches, but they're actual dogs. Yes. In the country music, the bitches are dogs.
Starting point is 00:05:59 And in the rap music, the bitches are women. In rap, they say whips. Yeah. In country music, they say trucks. It's very similar music. It's a lot of the same stuff. But one's for whites, one's for the others. Yeah, one's for everybody else.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Yes. And the Chinese, let's be honest, the Chinese are the new blacks, dude. You think? Oh, yeah. Why is that? There's so many of them. Barbecue, everything. Dude.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Yeah. So many kids. They don't, you know, a lot of dangerous activity. Some sports. They do some sports. Yeah. So many kids. They don't, you know, they're, you know, a lot of dangerous activity. Some sports. They do some sports. Okay. You seen that bicycling guy in the world record book? No, bro.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Yeah. It's like him and like 70 of his cousins on one bike, dude, trying to go somewhere. Here's the only thing why rap music wins this, because if you had a party and let's say you're trying to get loose. Yeah. You put on that Shania Twain. It shuts that bitch down. No one's drinking that.
Starting point is 00:06:47 No one's getting their dick and titties out to that. You put on some Kanye, some Yeezy, some Lil Pump, and fucking the tits are out, bro. Lil Pump killed himself, bro. Okay? No, you're thinking of Kurt Cobain. Oh, am I really? Yeah. No, I'm not.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Yeah, you are. Well, he did kill himself, but I'm thinking of the Little Parkinson's or whatever the new guy's name is. Little Parkinson's? Everything's little. Little Wayne, Little Pump, Little Uzi. Little Truancy. Are any of these fucking kids going to school? That's what I want to know.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Little Homeschool. Yeah, Little Homeschool. Where's that dude at? Yeah, Little Homeschool. Where's that Amish white rapper? Little Homeschool. Little Dickie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Oh, Little Dickie isn't that bad, I heard. No, I love Little Dickie. He's confusing. White rapper's confusing white rappers confusing no but dude sing country i don't know if you've ever been alive or not but if you have then there was a good time in your life where a country song came on and you were at a dance and that's when you got to do that slow dance you know are you talking uh dick to butt oh no front to front dude oh no no we weren't allowed to do slow dances dick to butt that's what we did at my school and your hands had to be on like up here and you you have to lower your hands bro dude that wasn't a school bro that was a special ed meetup
Starting point is 00:07:56 if you are slow dancing with your hands over somebody's shoulders dick to butt yeah bro until we did it bro shout out to Virginia Court. Shout out to the Virginia Court Tigers. Yeah. Shout out to Mr. Femularo, my first crush. Yeah, we're talking about the Virginia Court system. Honestly, that sounds like some prison reform dancing. I'm going to stand strong with country music, man.
Starting point is 00:08:17 It'll be here. Rap is running out of good. Dude, all these rappers now, they're all wealthy kids of other rappers. Nobody's even from anywhere. I'm with you on this. I think country's's gonna stick around a lot longer because in rap especially the culture like little pump all these people they're into them drugs i mean about them drugs you ever seen and i love uh post malone that dude yeah any day he does not look he does not look healthy yeah you need to hook him up with your uh your your team. Oh, I'll get them a 70-ounce therapy from the fucking 7-Eleven.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Therapy, son. I'm with you, though. Country music. Country music. Right on. Next one. This is a good one from J-Rod. J-Rod is a man or woman.
Starting point is 00:08:56 We'll find out. It's definitely a dude. No girls really submit questions, do we? It's definitely a dude. It's a talk fest. Oh, shit. Debate club. That's intense. I am King that's intense what's better when you're in a public washroom and you slap out that fat fucking hole
Starting point is 00:09:14 are you taking a piss in the corner style are you taking a piss in your rank Hell yeah, dude. Was that the greatest video submission of all time? Shout out to that dude. Wow, I think we... Yeah. I used to lease land from that guy. I think you owe that guy money. I'm sure.
Starting point is 00:09:38 From back in the day. I was talking about old Theo. You turned a new leaf now. Get your drugs out of his face, bro. Yeah. He had that hog on him. You see that pork sausage? That wasn't turkey, bro. Hell no. talking about old deal you turn a new leaf now oh get your drugs out of his face bro yeah he had that hog on him well you see that pork sausage that wasn't turkey bro hell no that's that real deal bro that's that farmer john ham brother dude this one's easy for me i don't like the urinals
Starting point is 00:09:57 like i was just at the mall i don't like the urinals because you can see everyone's cock up too you know i'm saying you can peep and see everyone's dick i think i like a little bit of privacy and we've talked about this before if you look at other parts of people's bodies you don't see their dick you know like if you look at somebody's eyes or you know their face their chin um shoulders legs feet hands elbows biceps back small the back yeah teeth there's way more places to look so if you're looking at people's dicks, you're going to see them. But you can't make eye contact, bro. Yeah, you shouldn't be because you're all peeing together. Yeah, but yes, straightforward like a goddamn psycho.
Starting point is 00:10:33 I like to see what's going on. I'm also – I think it's the movie True Lies. Like two bad guys can come behind me. So I'm looking at the reflection and the little metal part coming off. I'm worried someone's going to attack me. So what I like to do, I like to go with the privacy one. I like to just show them I got that super soaker
Starting point is 00:10:49 and I fucking pump into that thing, bro. You piss really fast and hard? Hard, like a super soaker. I want everyone to know I'm bringing that fucking RP. You're not, though. I hate the guy that does that. He goes in there and he pees as fast and as hard as he can for four seconds, bro.
Starting point is 00:11:04 That's me, bro. That's me, bro. That's me. And he's empty. You take your time? Oh, dude, I will piss for two and a half minutes, brother. I'll make a plant in the hallway jealous, brother. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I drip all day, daddy.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Drip, drip, drip all day, daddy. They're like, who is that guy? You know? Look at that guy go. What hydration system is he on, bro? Look at the guy go. Yeah, is that filtered? I heard one guy say, man, is that filtered? Look at that guy go. What hydration system is he on, bro? Look at the guy go. Yeah, is that filtered? I heard one guy say, man, is that filtered?
Starting point is 00:11:28 Beautiful screen. Is that Fiji one? I'll say this. A urinal? No, thank you. Okay? First of all, it's like a gangbang on a drain. It's like, oh, can this drain have all this piss?
Starting point is 00:11:40 It's a lot going on in there. And then there's always that asshole who writes on the wall with the phone numbers. There's graffiti on the wall. There's always something nasty on there. But I like to go in and out, bro, because you don't want to be there for too long because Homeboy Next, he's fucking dropping Osama bin Laden. Yeah, real hitters. It's hard to get out, bro. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:01 Yeah, I mean, I don't mind being in a bathroom for a long time. So I guess you have to be – we're kind of from different sides of the track when it comes you're raised in there i got a question for brendan when you're peeing in the stall are you lifting up the toilet seat or are you leaving piss on the seat for the next person to sit down in because i've rousted two people in an old building for doing that dude case by case case by case if i'm at if i'm at the gas station get the fuck out my face face, bro. Wipe it down. Nah, man. Nah, man.
Starting point is 00:12:26 If it's at a nice place, like I'm at the Grove or something, I know it's a nice bathroom. Some dude's been holding that shit in all day. He's after me. I'll lift that seat. Case by case. Yeah, well, that's a good call. I respect the case by case on the toilet seat. Now, I had an issue one time.
Starting point is 00:12:41 I was trying to get a little bit of gas, and so I went into the urinal, and it was one of those that had a couple urinals in there. It was like a family style, in the bathroom, I mean. And while I was in there, some nutcase came in there, some deviant, and it was a hitchhiker, I think, or some guy that just wasn't going, didn't care where he was going. Yeah, he came in there, got feces out of his body, right? Rubs it on the door and everywhere to get out.
Starting point is 00:13:12 So now I'm trapped into this fucking doo-doo spackled us into the room, right? Wow. It's a shit gingerbread house. Oh, dude, yeah. Yeah. So now I'm caulked into the room. Bro, they had to bust out the window and get us out through there, bro. God damn, bro.
Starting point is 00:13:27 This trauma, bro. Oh, man. It was just, ugh. This shit viper just attacked. The shit viper. It's case by case for me. So it's case by case. But look, I'm not afraid to be at a urinal if some of the guys there are nice guys.
Starting point is 00:13:40 I don't like pissing around mean guys. Me neither. Or if they're mugging me. The other thing, too, about that privacy of the big bowl, sometimes you want to play a game, someone will come in there with horrible diarrhea and spray the sides, and then you can knock that down with your pee. You knock it down.
Starting point is 00:13:56 It's kind of like an Atari video game spaceship with your piss. Everyone's looking at me so weird. Or not. You know what? Urinals. I will never. Piss. Everyone's looking at me so weird. Or not. You know what? Urinals. I will never. Well, look.
Starting point is 00:14:11 I cannot believe I'm talking to a man who urinates on top of other dudes. Dookie. Dude, sometimes that happens. It's case by case, bro. You haven't been on the road enough then. You ain't a road dog. I have, bro. You haven't. I've pissed on a lot of things in my life.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Okay? I've pissed indoors, outdoors, upstairs, off buildings moving vehicles dude I pissed on I tried to piss on myself in a jet once sure but I've never urinated on top of another man's stool then you ain't living brother and what else we got I'm glad to be dead all right last one for a debate club hopefully you guys know Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this is this from Chase hopefully wouldn't be the fuck hopefully you haven't you have my master's green teenager ninja turtles yeah have you seen bernard's bed sheets come on bro yeah good one theo oh he looks like oh is that chase quimby what's up king in the sting it's mailman chase
Starting point is 00:15:02 because i'm on the job And I don't want to get fired I'm not telling you exactly where I'm calling in for the debate club I don't have any skin in this game I really don't care about this But Bebop or Rocksteady Never watched the show
Starting point is 00:15:19 Look at his neck piece He's got that uh Oh they get little helpers this time of year to help them out. Yeah, you can't be touching the boxes. Be bopping rock steady. Thank you for the submission, brother. And thank you for your service to America, dude. Shout out to your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle scarf, too.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Yeah, dude. Mail is like, I mean, they're like the mail-a-tary, basically. You try to deliver mail to somebody's house these days, they'll fucking shoot you. Oh, dude, you got to have your shit together. Dude, you walk up to somebody's yard with a couple of fucking letters, bro, you're getting gunned down. Yeah. They're brave men.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Very brave, dude. And this one's a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fan, because Bebop and Rockstudy, not your typical question about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I grew up on this. I knew you grew up without a TV. You just got drawings. Yeah. But for me, this was a big deal, man.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Bebop and Rocksteady. And are they both male? Yeah, they're both male, although the pig looks like he's down for either or. He looks like a transgender kind of hero. Well, I wouldn't say that. I think Bebop looks a little lesbian for sure, like a healthy lesbian kind of. Really? He looks transgender to me.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Or a Raiders fan. Might be an A-type. You know what I'm saying? That's true. Pansexual. I think he looks like Theo. Yeah, I could see. Might be an A-type. You know what I'm saying? That's true. Pansexual. I think he looks like Theo. Yeah, I could see that too. I could see that.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Same nose. Underbite. You have an underbite? Oh, you do. I see it from here. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I do. You look like an evil bulldog.
Starting point is 00:16:36 You do? You do. I looked over here like this. You look like a fucking... You look like Bubba Gump. What? You look like Bubba Gump if you got Sammy Sosa's lotion. Oh, dude.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Bro, you look horrible. I look horrible? Yeah. Bro, you look like a community college mascot. Dude, you look like a child, bro. I look like a child? Yeah. You know the shirt that says America's Game?
Starting point is 00:16:59 All right, what game? America's Game, dude. There's just an eagle on there, bro. Teamwork. All right. Friendship, you idiot. All right. You look like Ron White's gay sister. All right. Friendship, you idiot. All right. You look like Ron White's gay sister.
Starting point is 00:17:08 All right, where are we at? Whatever. Whatever. And her name is Sandra, okay? And they call her Sandy. Shout out to Ron White's sister if he has one. Dude, true story. I got a blowjob from Jared Fogle's sister one time when I was in college.
Starting point is 00:17:24 The subway chick? Yeah. Is she hot? She's, you know, she got a blowjob from Jared Fogle's sister one time when I was in college. The subway chick? Yeah. Is she hot? She's, you know, she's a knight. She's exciting. That means no! Whatever. Exciting like a six-foot, six-inch meatball sub?
Starting point is 00:17:37 Or exciting like a turkey sub? I mean, I think she was cool. Did you give her the foot long? I gave her as much as I had. It wasn't much. You gave her the six-inch. Yeah. You gave her the six-inch. Yeah, I gave her that think she was cool. Did you give her the footlong? I gave her as much as I had. It wasn't much. You gave her the six inch. Yeah. You gave her the six inch.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Yeah, I gave her that four inch round. You gave her the cookie on the side. You gave her the cookie on the side. Oh, yeah. But those are the good old days, man. Dude, sue her and get money, bro. Sue her and get money. I'm not suing her.
Starting point is 00:17:58 He's in prison. Is he? Yeah. You didn't hear about this? Uh-uh. Oh, she probably didn't tell you. Yeah, he touched a bunch of kids, Theo. Really?
Starting point is 00:18:08 Yeah, bro. Oh, my God. Were you one of them? No. No, no, no. I was, I think, a legal adult, you know? But, man, it was a legal adult. You're defending him pretty hard, though.
Starting point is 00:18:18 I'm not defending him. Yeah, you're acting like you don't. Everyone knows Jared from Subway is a total fucking creep. I haven't had Subway in forever because of that. I can't buy your meatball sub and know you're sucking kids off on the side. Everyone knows this. They did have those small milks there you could get. Think about all the kid shit they had.
Starting point is 00:18:37 And he would shut the fuck up about eating six-inch subs and losing all this weight. Shut the fuck up, man. It worked for him, though, didn't it? Yeah. You get defensive because you still communicate with his sister no we've never we communicated briefly one night that was it i can't believe he did all that though did the kids say he did it hold on the kids yeah the army of kids that he molested yeah they all came out and said he did he's in prison bro he put the weight back on because now he's eating at the commissary. He put on the male bees.
Starting point is 00:19:05 He's dressed out. He's about 300 again. That's crazy, man. Someone sent me a picture. Quiznos, dude. That's why I'm eating Quiznos, man. Toast it up, baby. Oh, toast that bitch up.
Starting point is 00:19:14 I want you to just bake the molestability right out of her. Fuck yeah. Just cook the sin right out of my body. Praise God. Dude, Subway or Quiznos? There's one for you. Quiznos. Quiznos, dude. Toast that shit, bro. How about feed your kids
Starting point is 00:19:28 and let them just not meet a man? I don't know how we got on that. Just lunch. Quiznos. Between Bebop and Rocksteady, we pick Quiznos. That was a great debate club. It's time for King It or Sting It.
Starting point is 00:19:44 Number one coming from Amanda Hatfield. Oh, here's a lady. Hey, guys. My name is Amanda. I'm originally from Canada, but now I live just outside of Chicago. Wow. I love the new podcast. You're both awesome.
Starting point is 00:19:58 My question for you is about face tattoos with artists like Post Malone, et cetera, getting them. They're becoming more and more popular with just regular people. What do you think? Face tattoos. King it or sting it. Everyone who doesn't want a job when they get older. Gang, gang. Love you guys. Bye. What's up, girl? Love you, too. Love them eyes.
Starting point is 00:20:20 I love all of you. I don't care. I don't see just one part of someone like this. Jared from Subway. He's the Neanderthal. Face tattoos. Terrible idea. Unless you're famous as fuck and you don't need another job, do not get face tattoos. Look at this dude.
Starting point is 00:20:36 That's 6'9". Kashi 6'9", bro. Yeah. And he's in jail now for crimes. He's probably going to be in there for a long, long time. Alleged also. He's screwed. Dude, he's the Dominican Bobby Shmurda, bro.
Starting point is 00:20:48 Are you right? But let me say this. I think face tattoos are good in a few instances. Give me some. Okay? One, you short-term memory loss or long-term. You can keep just fucking need-to-know information
Starting point is 00:21:03 at the ready. Depends what you put on your face. Yeah, it does. You don't put directions to a fucking arcade. You put things that, you know, I'm allergic to sesame seed oil or something like that. All right. Like need-to-know information, face tattoos. I think anything that is like a seasonal kind of thing, like happy new year, happy black history month, happy Halloween. You think they should put that on their faces?
Starting point is 00:21:33 And then cover it up for the rest of the time. Wear sunglasses or something. That's kind of dope. So then they're only cool one month out of the year, though? Yeah, face tattoos, I'm trying to argue for it, and it's not going well. It's not happening, bro. Come on. Think about when you get older.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Everyone's face gets droopy. Yours has already started. Not a big deal. Everyone's different. Everyone's different. That's because. Yours is a little droopy. But think about it.
Starting point is 00:21:55 You get a face tattoo, and they just start to change. Your face starts to melt and come off. You know what I'm saying? It's a bad idea. No, it doesn't, dude. Yeah, if your parents look like shit, it does. Bro, who told you your face isn't falling a little bit? Dude, no, my face is...
Starting point is 00:22:09 Gravity, bro. Doing well, and I respond well to gravity. You respond well to Botox. Yes, well, I'll get whatever, man. I will, too. I'll say this, though. If you have a face tattoo, then I think you need to already be probably married,
Starting point is 00:22:23 or you need to be... You need at, you know, you need to be. You need at least a million in the bank to get a face tattoo. Yeah. Because you ain't going to work at a bank. Sure as fuck not going to work at Blockbuster. You ain't going to do any of that stuff. Yeah, and people are going to want to. Judge you.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Judge you. But I think we're at the end of the line with our face. I don't think we're even going to use our face. This is the, you know, people are getting face tattoos. People are, you know, getting. People are getting part of their body chiseled into like a Mount Rushmore chiseled in their leg. People are getting unique things. This is the
Starting point is 00:22:51 end of the actual use of our skin. In the future, there will be another layer that we will wear to better protect ourselves. It's still insane that we leave our skin just at the elements all the time, bro. You know what I'm saying'm saying you start wearing a mask yeah everyone is really yeah that's what ugly people hope nelly's friends nelly's friends
Starting point is 00:23:10 started it nelly nelly's friend started it yeah that dude the one guy with the mask that guy was in a fire murphy lee that's his name what happened to him he's a fireman didn't go well what happened to that dude why did he always wear a mask you don't want people to see his real shit no he just had a style or he got a case you know i'm saying so he left the mask on so no one could figure out what he oh no dude he's a copycat he's doing phantom of the opera look at him oh nelly and murphy lee had. Oh, really? Why? Because he wouldn't take the fucking mask off? Probably. That's family opera.
Starting point is 00:23:47 That shit ain't original. But I agree. Having a friend with a mask on at a certain point. But it's the few. I'm telling you, next is a mask. So people are going to be. Ugly people hope so, Theo. I see how you'd want that, but it's not going that direction.
Starting point is 00:23:59 But it's changing, man. Chin and Nick, would you guys wear a mask? We need someone with a mask in the group. I'll wear a mask. I'll be the mask. One fucking dude. You had to ask him one time and now he has a mask on. Dude, he's in. See how easy it was?
Starting point is 00:24:14 I got my St. Ludic's mixed up. Murphy Lee didn't wear a mask. It was one of them, though. All right. Well, fuck face that, dude. I think they're a bad idea. I think they are just a sign of the times. People don't need their faces anymore. It's almost over.
Starting point is 00:24:29 It's more about your electronic profile. We're devolving, man. Name the hottest person with a face tattoo. Only ugly people get face tats. No. Kat Von D. Kat Von whatever? Dude, she's a tattoo artist.
Starting point is 00:24:42 She has tattoos on her anus. You don't think she's hot? She's pretty hot but she doesn't count She's a tattoo artist Name another person That's not involved in the tattoo game Great reference though You tried fucking me You tried fucking me but tattoo artists
Starting point is 00:25:01 They're out of it because they get tattoos on their eyeballs Who? Kehlani? Who's Who? Kehlani. Who's that? Kehlani? I thought you meant the girl that was in the valley. Let me see. Tiny.
Starting point is 00:25:16 Oh, wow. Is that? Oh, she's. Oh, Kyrie Irving. She's a homie hopper. Yeah, she seems like that. Maybe she can hop on this homie. She also looks like Frida Kahlo's young son.
Starting point is 00:25:34 There's not a lot of hot people with face tattoos is the point. There's a few. Okay, what about this though? If you're already attractive, can you do whatever you want? To a certain extent because you get it looks kind of sexy right right like if you're already attractive can you just do what it is you know and it's gonna look dope yeah a busted person gets his face tattooed yeah he's going to fucking jail you know what i'm saying like little wayne his entire face is tattooed but we have no
Starting point is 00:26:01 idea right you know that his entire face is covered in tattoos. Yeah. What, Jim? That's funny. I don't know. It just, yeah. Well, it wasn't funny. Yeah, I was being real there.
Starting point is 00:26:13 I was being real there. I saw him last time in the American Music Awards or something. That's what gave me the idea. Yeah. He didn't know what was going on. Yeah. It looks like he just, yeah, I don't know. That's what happens when you get face tattoos. You go crazy. Well, you got to, yeah, I don't know. That's what happens when you get face tattoos. You go crazy.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Well, you got to go all in whatever you're doing. You know, if you're a lumberjack and you get a slice of wood on your cheek or something, you got to go all in. Here's the thing. Face tattoo or neck tattoo. Neck tattoo screams I've made bad choices in my life. Face tattoo goes, I'm hip, trying to be cool, you know. But neck tattoo says there's one bad choice I'm not going to make. And that's a face tattoo. Face tattoo goes, I'm hip, trying to be cool, you know? But neck tattoo says there's one bad choice I'm not going to make.
Starting point is 00:26:47 And that's a face tattoo. That too. Yeah. Don't fucking touch me. Don't fucking touch me, dude. That sounds like we're stinging. Are you recording when he touches me like that? Of course.
Starting point is 00:26:54 It hurts. It hurts. All right. Next one comes from Zach Barrett. Zach Barrett. Is that French? Yo. Yo, bro.
Starting point is 00:27:03 Get your dick out of my face. Brendan Schultz. What's up, man? Oh, shorty in the back. Coming at you, big fans here from West Palm Beach, Florida that French? Yo. Get your dick out of my face. Brendan Schaub. What's up, man? Oh, shorty in the back. Coming at you, big fans here from West Palm Beach, Florida. Gang gang. What's up, bro? Got a question for you guys. Florida in general.
Starting point is 00:27:13 Hear a lot about it in the news. A lot of negativity. You see this out here. Florida. King it or sting it. What's up, hitter man? Oh, get that hitter, mommy. You heard her in the back.
Starting point is 00:27:24 Mommy wants that hitter, huh? What's up, broter Mommy, you heard her in the back Mommy wants that hitter What's up, bro? She had that Theo Von face tat on I don't know if you saw that or not that gang Theo Von nose Good for you guys Dude, yeah
Starting point is 00:27:31 Well, my nose looks like your whole body, dude This is how small the rest of you is Your nose looks like a potato Well, half my family was Irish farmers, dude Dude, I'm not saying
Starting point is 00:27:41 it's a bad thing I'm only taking offense to it Okay, I'm not taking offense All right All right, cool, man Okay, you look like a I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm only taking offense to it. Okay, I'm not taking offense. Alright. Alright, cool, man. Okay, you look like a lady that's trying to grow a beard. You mean a transgender who's taking
Starting point is 00:27:51 hormones and hair's starting to come out? No, you're like a lady that's too cheap to get the hormones and you're trying to fucking... So you're just growing it? Just a few spurts? You're sharecropping yourself at the house, dude. Yeah, you look like you bought the Italian fucking transgender starter kit. You look like the mascot for florida just a shit show like florida foot their oceans they have no waves you can't fucking surf there it's just a fucking bunch of shit going on in florida
Starting point is 00:28:16 miami's all right miami's okay i agree with that miami's overrated i'll say this to this couple that i will be at the west palm beach Improv April 26th and 27th. I do want to say that. But outside of that, look, man, I think Florida's good, man. Florida's a great place to hide from the government. Florida's a great place to launder money. A great place to slip away to Cuba.
Starting point is 00:28:38 It's kind of like the appendix of America. It's like, do we need it? Not really. Yeah. Could we get it removed? We care. Like if it just floated away, I'd be like, do we need it? Not really. Yeah. Could we get it removed? We care. Yeah. Like if it just floated away, I'd be like, eh, whatever. Yeah. Who would go get it?
Starting point is 00:28:51 Nobody. Yeah. Then they're an island. Yeah. Now that. I don't mind it. I don't hate Florida. Orlando.
Starting point is 00:28:59 There's some beautiful women out there. Yeah. There's some beautiful women. A lot of them are sex trafficked. You're not their type. And a lot of them. You're not their type. You're not their type. Really? Yeah. That's why you don't like it. No, that's some beautiful women. A lot of them are sex trafficked. You're not their type. You're not their type. You're not their type. Really?
Starting point is 00:29:07 Yeah, that's why you don't like it. No, that's not true. Yeah, that's why you don't like it. Really? Yeah, because you don't tan well. Your haircut's all weird. They're very sexy and ethnic down there. You just don't fit in.
Starting point is 00:29:19 Dude, you look like a bouncer at an arcade, bro. Okay? Yeah, a dope bouncer at the Miami arcade. Yeah. That's slinging dick. Yeah. That protects Mortal Kombat. Okay.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Yeah. Good luck stepping in line at Mortal Kombat. Whatever. Not on my watch. Brendan, we lost the air hockey puck again. We need you to help out over here. Okay. Tighten up, dude.
Starting point is 00:29:42 You definitely look like a fucking dude that works at Foot Locker. You look like every white dude that works at Foot Locker. You look like every white dude that works at Foot Locker. Get your whistle, Brendan. Get your whistle, Brendan. They don't wear whistles anymore. Well, they took the ball out of them, but they don't work. Do they? So sad.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Who carries a limp whistle around their neck? Why'd they make them carry whistles? Dude, you are a couple bad episodes from fucking getting hired back in the fucking black and white stripes, bro. And I'm not talking about pretending you're a zebra at kids' birthday parties. I'm talking about Foot Locker. You look like the mascot for Toys R Us. Just a fucking bummer. You're a bummer, dude.
Starting point is 00:30:18 Yeah, that was funny. Fuck Florida, though. I love Florida, and I will, like I said, I'll see you guys April 26th and 27th at the West Palm Beach Improv. So one Kings, one Stings. The next one from Shana Plank. What up, Theo and Brendan? My name's Shana. It's King it or Sing it, man purses.
Starting point is 00:30:38 I work at Starbucks, and I see these suspect dudes walking up it all prissy-like in these man purses, and I question it. What y'all think, though? Thank you for your – I mean, Starbucks is basically – it is the front lines of America these days. I mean, they are basically service workers. They've taken over. Starbucks is everywhere. Well, they deal with everybody's attitude first thing in the morning. Like, hey, I'm a fucking asshole.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I know. Why don't I order something? I know. And then they get mad. It takes too long and shit. Yeah. And here's a beautiful young lady who's been up since midnight. She woke up at 3 a.m. To serve your stupid coffee.
Starting point is 00:31:18 Frappuccino, no whip, light soy, extra caramel macchiato. Yeah. I'm leaving my wife. Just get me something that tastes like that. You know? Get me some bullshit. Get me some bullshit. I'm an angry woman that spent my whole life trying to earn money and doesn't have any
Starting point is 00:31:33 kids now. Can I have that? A medium. It's called a frappuccino. Yeah. That. You mean a milkshake, bitch? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:39 You know what? A frappuccino is a milkshake where I come from. Is it? Yeah, you fucking idiots. A frappuccino's a milkshake where I come from. Is it? Yeah, you fucking idiots. A Frappuccino is a milkshake. Bro, you seem like every fucking dude that's definitely hitting on girls, we'll call them girls, even though they're barely legal, at a lot of food courts, you know? You seem like the kind of dude that just has to fuck chicks at a food court.
Starting point is 00:31:58 That hangs out by Panda Express. Not at Buy It, but definitely within 80 feet. And the lemonade stand. You look like you work at orange julius yeah bro that's the only guy yeah that's fine meeting all the chicks and squeezing them squeezing the juice out of them um what the overall oh starbucks yeah oh man man purses well your boy joe rogan has one uh different so this is different i'll defend joe here because a fanny pack that motherfucker uses it as because it's functional he has all that shit
Starting point is 00:32:30 in there he's always he's been on that for since the jump dude and now gucci came out with them and kids want to wear them over their shoulders and do all that shit that's bullshit that's frowned upon but i i do support a fanny pack they make make a lot of sense. I don't like shit in my pockets. Rogan has all – he had the Mayan calendar in his one time. Like he has a lot of wild stuff. Crystal ball, Mayan calendar. He had a bow and arrow in there. Yeah, he had the Tropic of Cancer in there one time.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Like definitely carrying some unique things around. So it makes sense for him. It makes sense for him it makes sense for some men who are active men now you're talking about these little patsies yeah you know these little fellas up there living in yeezys on oh yeah yeezy one of them has an yeezy neck brace because he's in some fake fucking lawsuit um because he got dick whipped over at the footlocker dick whip has an off-white mouthpiece in and shit? Fuck them, dude. Yeah, he has a service mouse in it?
Starting point is 00:33:27 Fuck that, dude. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think it depends. I think, look, no matter what they're wearing, you look them in the eyes, young lady, and you know if they're a real man or not. Especially based off the drink they order. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:38 What do you order when you go to Starbucks? When I go to Starbucks, I get black coffee, dude. Extra black. Don't touch me, bro. Don't touch me, bro. You stupid ass. Don't look at me. Next one, dude. I think you guys should end each segment by saying
Starting point is 00:33:57 King or Sting. Sting it. I say Sting those little purses. The last one of the day for King of Sting It Is Ryan Williams Oh Ryan Williams the musician What's up Theo and Brendan I'm in Brisbane with my girlfriend having a weekend away
Starting point is 00:34:13 And I was just wondering What do you think about riding a scooter I've seen Brendan on a scooter sometimes So I want to know do you king it Or do you sting it Is a scooter your girlfriend bro I'll king your girlfriend bro yeah because i'll i'll king your girlfriend he's underage you can see he's in high school no she's not bro that is a grown woman she's a history teacher okay sure that's gonna hold up in court um well young man
Starting point is 00:34:38 i'd like to say this i'm glad you guys are enjoying your summer vacation and it looks like you and your young girlfriend are having a nice time. Scooters? Yeah. Let's talk to fucking this bad boy over here. Oh, I'm sorry. Scooters aren't bad enough for you. My bad.
Starting point is 00:34:55 What should I be on? A Harley? Should I be on a fucking Harley? First of all, that's a regular scooter. That's not one of the birds or something like that. When I come into a new town and I need to scoot around town, I jump on a bird or I jump on one of those fucking things from time to time, dude. Now, nothing dries up
Starting point is 00:35:11 girls' mouths and bodies like when seeing a grown man on a scooter. Why not just let a big jack gay dude carry you around on his back, bro? Dude, they're tough to find. They're always busy. They're always busy. I have that app. sure gay jack and you yeah come out gay jack they're not easy in every town bro like in utah find gay jack yeah they're busy that's true of them low-key you really yeah you almost
Starting point is 00:35:36 need a shovel to really find a good gay around there but i'll say this man that you got that on that gucci sack right there and that deal you're wearing. Yeah, bro. I keep electrolytes in there, coconut. Extra T-cells. You need to fucking tighten up. Yeah, bro. Carrots. Books for you to read. I'll say this. I would rather run out of gas and just sit in my car than be seen on a screen.
Starting point is 00:36:02 Easily. That's because you don't want to look any gay you don't want that bro i'd rather let the lord just fill my tank then uh then jump on that bird oh my god you do feel weird on them but have you ever been on it you ever you ever had the wind blow in your face and blow that that's not the wind right tail you got back there in the wind you ever had that bro yeah you need if you experience that then come holler at me it's that queso whip baby but i i'm gonna go ahead and uh surprisingly i'm gonna i'm gonna sting scooters i'm really yeah you know why because uh where we live in our neck of the woods they're everywhere now yeah and it's kind of taking over the neighborhood like ants and kids go in and out of my scene. I could get hit by a car
Starting point is 00:36:46 on one. Oh, I've seen a couple of straight up adults use them and get grilled. It's hilarious. And they're always carrying groceries and they always just lay there until the ambulance comes. Get up. Get up. Quit faking it. What are you, the NBA? What are you, a foreigner in the NBA?
Starting point is 00:37:01 Quit flopping. If you get hit by a car at less than 30 miles an hour, get the fuck up. Get the fuck up, bro. Get your stupid groceries and get going. Yeah. Don't pick up your eggs if they're all broken. I get that shit. But collect the fucking onions and keep it hoofing. The courts are backed
Starting point is 00:37:18 up. We got bigger problems to solve. Causing traffic. Yeah, I'm voting no on fucking scooters. Sting it. Alright, guys. That. I'm voting no on fucking scooters. Yeah. Sting that. Sting it. All right, guys. That does it for King It or Sting It.
Starting point is 00:37:29 It's time for the new segment that's sweeping the nation. Flaunt my aunt. Oh, yeah. All the kids are talking about flaunt my aunt. Are they? The kids. It's the rage online. Is it really?
Starting point is 00:37:40 The rage. What happened? People's aunts getting thirsty. Chin's aunt had blown me up. Oh, shit. thirsty his aunt had blown me oh man i bet she really is no for real the railroad queen they call her yeah the staple honey she fucking slipping my dms did she really my ds. Wow. I thought, damn, girl. Choo-choo. Keep it professional. Dick pic. All right, what do we got?
Starting point is 00:38:10 And I will say, when you submit these to the Dropbox, title the image with who it is in your family, your aunt, uncle. Some of these were unclear, and we couldn't use them, and they were good. Here's the first one from Will Terrell. He sent in his aunt. Zoom in, bro. All right, all in bro all right all right all right clearly works at a skate shop uh why do you say that bro what do you mean bro look at her with them wheels that ain't your normal skateboard she's obviously a uh fucking surfing shop fan here first of all i think she has very nice let's look at her face, can we please? Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Somebody's about to get fired. I think she has a nice kind of like... She looks harmless. She looks pissed off like someone fucked up her skateboard. No, I think she has that covert kind of like librarian but risky, you know? Like encyclopedia brown my
Starting point is 00:39:02 ass, you know? Like she has that sort of like, oh, come fall through my closet, you know? Narny. I'll be your Edmund. She looks like Andy Richter. She looks like Andy from Conan. Andy Richter? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:13 No, she looks like a lean, sexier Andy Richter. I could see that. Is that really someone's aunt? What's her name? We do not have her name. Yeah, they got to start saying the names if they can. Can't have the full name. And she's got a first name. I'll say this. She's got a hardware store, so that's pretty sexy.
Starting point is 00:39:29 Fixing her goddamn skateboard. That's why she's there. She had to skate her ass there. And her wheel fell off or some shit. And she's also handy. Let's see that board. She also looks like she doesn't need a man at all. There's no rings.
Starting point is 00:39:44 You think? Oh, she's got some. There's no ring. Hats on her. You think? Oh, she's got some real titer dactyls on her. Boy, I'd let one of those swoop into my fucking mouth. God, I wouldn't. I'd probably go and box them out. Really? Yeah, I'd box them out like Dennis Rodman. Oh, she got them titer dactyls, dude.
Starting point is 00:39:59 And I'd let one of those things fly down my throat, boy. I'm going to say this. I'm going to say this. If you and her got in a fight, she'd give you all you could handle. Oh, definitely. It'd be a scrap. Round to round, I'd have to look at the judges and be like, ah, it's close. Oh, I wouldn't stay on my feet.
Starting point is 00:40:13 I'd ground and pound with her, bro. I'd take it straight to the fucking ground, bro. Can we get her to see her again? I want to see a little bit more of that board. What's that board say? Yeah, can we just... There we go. She she's misindependent she doesn't need a man fucking skated there fixed her board matched her watch with the skateboard she has a fit bitch she has this outdoor pants on like this she ain't staying indoors you know i'm saying
Starting point is 00:40:38 bahama jeans yeah she's gonna be around the neighborhood yeah she ain't looking for a dude she don't give a fuck about your dick she does have on a men's t-shirt, though. That's what I'm saying. She's giving off that vibe. Yeah. She's giving off that vibe. Oh, you know what? She might be the captain
Starting point is 00:40:52 of the skateboard club in the neighborhood. I'll meet a man or I'll meet a woman and I'll decide which one I'm going to be in the relationship. Whoever's nicer. Yeah. Whoever's down to skate with me. That's straight up freelance Janet right there, boy.
Starting point is 00:41:03 She makes her own choices. Goes with the wind. Gang. You're talking about free spirit Janet? All right, what else we got? Let's see another flaunt. All right, the next one from Zara Barrett sent in there. What we assume to be uncle or grandpa.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Let me see this uncle. Oh, damn, bro. Where's this dude? You're talking about Papa Murphy? Has this guy been hiding in the closet? Is this a Holocaust survivor? Where's this dude? You talking about Papa Murphy? Has this guy been hiding in the closet? Is this a Holocaust survivor? Who is this dude? You talking about the Monopoly man before he went bald?
Starting point is 00:41:31 Look, I mean, did somebody been keeping their grandfather in a... In a box? Yeah, what is going on? Did someone freeze their grandpa and he just got out? Like Austin Powers style? Look how happy this... Why is he in pajamas on the bottom? Is this Grandpapa John? and he just got out? Like Austin Powers though? Look how happy this is. Why is he in pajamas on the bottom?
Starting point is 00:41:48 Is this Grandpapa John? This dude is 90 years old and hella, I don't know. He's healthy as fuck. He looks like he's been kept in that closet for the last 50 years. Got out. He's happy. A little bright for his eyes. You can tell he hasn't seen the sunlight in quite some time. He looks like he makes the meanest
Starting point is 00:42:06 pasta dish on the planet. He looks like he could cough up a damn sweet serving. He looks like he makes the meanest lasagna. He'll fucking spit a marsala right into your fucking mouth. It's DiGiorno, baby.
Starting point is 00:42:21 I don't know who that is. It's DiGiorno. He does have liver spots, so he's getting older. i will say that he has a casio watch so it's time for him to fucking meet the lord hey hey bro what the fuck dude is not time to meet the lord he's seen some shit in his day though i agree he saw the first plane he saw all sorts of shit dude he was obviously rescued from who knows where i mean somebody's been keeping this man behind boarded walls i agree look at the carpet shady but then look is there a hole in the wall back there and why is he on the ground for this picture why why was someone like papa papa let me get a picture while you're on the ground putting this fucking puzzle together yeah is this actually a cry for help and not just a picture somebody submitted? Did you guys get this off the back pages?
Starting point is 00:43:09 Is this someone's grandpa who needs help? Because me and Theo ain't the ones. We don't have time to help him. SWM, baby, you feel me? What magazine is he reading? That's a phone book. That's a phone book, yep. It's obviously someone looking for help.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Can we just admit? You're right. You're right. That grandpa needs help. Yeah, so. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong show. Yeah. Yeah, you might want to email a picture into 911.com. I don't know if we can help.
Starting point is 00:43:34 What else you got? Shout out to Papa Giorno. All right. Yeah, let's see some aunts. Let's see some freaking hot aunts, man. All right. Who is that? This is from James H., cousin Jasmine.
Starting point is 00:43:49 Okay. How are you going to go from Papa DiGiorno to this smoke show? And first of all, Theo, I know you have some sort of weird problem where you can't look at women right now. It's autism, you idiot.
Starting point is 00:44:02 Your parole officer says you can't, so put your boner away for a second because she is fine. That's somebody's aunt? Is it really? That's somebody's aunt, bro, with them D-S motherfucking L's. What is that? Dick sucking lips, bro. Really?
Starting point is 00:44:19 Now get your boner out my face. What? Yeah, I know what's going on. You get all quiet and I see the blood leave your fucking face and it fills that little cock you. That's because I'm a natural man. First of all, you delinquent. That's because you haven't seen a woman in seven years because your parole
Starting point is 00:44:33 officer won't let you. That's how people's bodies work, you kook. Okay, first of all. Dude, whose auntie is that, bro? I will say this. I would certainly probably call her and talk to her. And I would meet her somewhere and talk about whatever she wants to talk about and listen. You think she's that hot you'd listen?
Starting point is 00:44:59 Oh, I would talk and listen. I would let her order a frappuccino from Starbucks and not criticize her. Dude, I would build a Starbucks somewhere near my dick. Dude, I would let her drive the fucking scooter while I'm on the back like a bitch with my boner ramming into her ass. Oh. What? I would let her probably beat me with a 2x four until I came out of my eye sockets. Oh, wow, bro.
Starting point is 00:45:27 But no, she seemed like a nice lady. I wonder how old she is. Now, do we know if she's over 18 or we are telling it? She's over 18. Definitely over 18. Yeah, because you know your shit. Yeah. And she's an adult and she seemed like a nice person.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Dude, but she's indoors. She's like this, though. Like Data from Star Trek. Like, why is she like this? She's indoors. She could she seemed like a nice person. Dude, but she's indoors. She's like this, though. Like Data from Star Trek. Like, why is she like this? She's indoors. She could be talking into her hand. Oh, you know what? She might have a Bluetooth.
Starting point is 00:45:51 Yeah, she could have a Bluetooth. It's a Bluetooth. Now, she also looks like she definitely is probably going to have a kid with a brother pretty soon. Dude, I didn't want to say it, but she looks like she likes all the dicks. You don't wear lipstick like that with a bra and not suck dick. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, recuperate. Well, I wasn't going to say any of that.
Starting point is 00:46:14 I was going to say she looks like she wouldn't mind meeting a decent black man locally somewhere or maybe from a decent college. Clemson, Tulane, Georgia, Georgia Southern, Lipscomb, Florida International University, DeVry University. It's DeVry. You're an idiot. But I'll say this. She seems like a nice lady. She seemed like she would have a beautiful mixed child.
Starting point is 00:46:39 And she could probably be our next senator. You're out out John Martino New mascot Yeah you're out Dang dang Dang dang Dang dang Dang dang
Starting point is 00:46:50 Because this smoke shows in Wow She does seem like a cool person though Where is she? She's indoors In the picture She's indoors She could live anywhere
Starting point is 00:46:58 She looks like she has roommates Okay Let's take one more man And then I gotta get out of here Alright we got another aunt From Cody Tevis roommates. Okay, let's take one more, man, and then I gotta get out of here. Alright, we got another aunt from Cody Tevis. Is this the fucking cruise ship you're on, Theo?
Starting point is 00:47:14 What's going on here? Punt my gun. You see that dude straight up? That dude don't give a fuck. Fuck. Whoa. That little frickin' out. Oh, there's Jared from Subway from subway oh that guy's a straight up polar bear right there a shade polar bear huh he's got that belly hair that evenly spaced though i like that sexy a lot of guys just get the happy trail he has a happy trail but evenly spaced out i think
Starting point is 00:47:40 he's shaving it you know no yeah i think I don't think it grew in like that. Let's focus on the ant here for a hot second. I'll see that ant. Is that an aunt and an uncle, or is that some dude? It looks like this dude photobombed this and is forcing her to take this picture. If you look at his hand. Also, why is he throwing up the shocker? Yeah, good call. Take it easy.
Starting point is 00:48:00 And that's clearly in Jersey Shore. That's not California. I recognize that beach from anywhere. Yeah, it could be Jersey. She definitely has kind of like that, you know, like she would – she'd accepted blood donation from Bret Michaels type of vibe. Oh, yeah. She looks like she's from Rock of Love. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:18 And she either has a mixed drink with her or a drug test that she's about to go turn in somewhere. Yeah, you ain't lying. I can't tell what's in that cup. She looks like just a journeyman for ACDC. Yeah. She just rocked after that shit a little too hard. But she's going to be a cool lady. She's probably a nurse.
Starting point is 00:48:32 She probably looks like she's caring. She has a nice smile. You think nurse? She has on glasses. She looks a little bit like Captain Lou Albano if he had stage four cancer as well, but young. What do you think the guy does on the left besides eat everything? God damn. What, bro?
Starting point is 00:48:51 He seems like a good guy, bro. I'm not saying he's not nice. I'm just saying clearly he likes food. There ain't nothing wrong with that. That's Bubba Sparks, you delinquent. Bubba Sparks don't rap, though. Lovely! Oh, that was a jam. I bet you guys were pounding that because you thought you had one huh bubba sparks
Starting point is 00:49:10 you know brian count's in that video is he really you're lying i promise wow i know i gotta see that man and he how did he not open up a spark plug shop after that called bubba or an energy drink called the sparks yeah bad name for an energy drink sparks Bubba or an energy drink called the sparks. Yeah, bad name for an energy drink sparks. That's an actual energy drink. You idiot. Is it really? Yeah, bro for local killed a lot of people. Dude, those are illegal. Yeah, it's like a gang. It's like MS
Starting point is 00:49:35 13 and a can. Yeah, I can't believe Brian Callen's in this. Well, he's in a Bubba Sparkton video. I don't know if it's ugly. Oh, it's Miss New Booty. Oh, wow. I could see him in that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:51 He seemed like a guy that would be in that. That's it, then. Boom. Flop my aunt. Shout out to all the submissions, man. Those were funny. A lot of beautiful aunts. And uncles.
Starting point is 00:50:01 And grandpas, for that matter. There were some grandpas. Where's there? Mr. DiGiorno. Oh, yeah, man. And Ipas, for that matter. There were some grandpas. Where's there? Mr. DiGiorno. Oh, yeah, man. And I hope he's okay. I hope he's still alive and they find that man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:11 That is very troubled. Very troubled. Man. It's tough out there for old people, though. A lot of people are trying to, you know, they don't know what to do with their grandparents. They're putting them in homes. They're hiding them in closets. Keeping them in the car.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Oh, yeah. In the laundry room. Man, one of my the car oh yeah in the laundry room man one of my buddies grandfather lives in his laundry room i've heard of that i've heard of that he has alzheimer's and he has everything just keep them in the basement and throw video games at him oh dude it's crazy guys like you know he's got like cerebral hemorrhaging or something i don't know all kinds of fucking wild shit this guy seems okay this guy seems healthy though what that guy is laying on the floor near an open closet door reading a phone book
Starting point is 00:50:48 or looking for help. He has a broken leg. He definitely has a broken leg. He has one leg. His socks are super wrinkly. That's what happens when you get older, man. Your ankles get all baggy. Yeah, that's what happens when you get kidnapped, dude. This guy could be like 17, bro. We don't know. Bro, kidnapping ages you so much. Like the presidency.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Yeah. it really does man you get kidnapped at you know 15 or something game over oh yeah by the time you're 23 you look like you're 50 were you kidnapped uh-uh never not even close no they had a man that put us in his truck one time but he was a uh semi-truck driver we just give me a ride home? No. And then somebody came and caught him and beat his ass, dude. He was probably going to be a pedophile. Jeez. Close call. We were just sitting in there eating those Tootsie Rolls.
Starting point is 00:51:34 You know the small ones? I fucking hate those. Yeah. I didn't mind them. Okay, guys. I'll see you in Irvine this weekend. I do want to let you know that. And Brandon will be in.
Starting point is 00:51:44 Brandon. Brandon, you homeschooled fuck. I'm in Edmonton. Freezing out Edmonton. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And then next week, next Saturday, my special. San Diego, baby. Spreckles it up. At the Spreckles Theater. See Spreckles? And since that's already sold out, a lot of you guys can come
Starting point is 00:52:00 to Irvine and we will watch it on my phone and we can judge it and critique it from far away. Let's do it, man. You bet, man. You guys be good to yourselves. This is the King of the Sting. King of the Sting!
Starting point is 00:52:15 I'm the king, bro. Be stingy. Rap king. King of the Sting Beast King Rat King King of the Sting And the road to the strap
Starting point is 00:52:38 Goes for the rat

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.