The Golden Hour - Episode 42: Beef And Thongs
Episode Date: October 24, 2019The guys get into a Hairy Leg Debate and talk Day Strippers, BBQ Beef & Thongs, Justin Long, Halloween Celebrations, Furries vs Bronies, Hair Loss Race, Rockstars vs Rappers, ...D'Elia vs Santino and much more!1. Mack Weldon - https://mackweldon.com promo code: KATS2. ButcherBox - https://butcherbox.com/kats or enter promo code: KATS3. MyBookie - https://mybookie.ag/ promo code: KATS4. UNTUCKit - https://untuckit.com/ promo code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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I disagree.
I disagree.
I disagree a lot with people.
Wow, dude.
That's right, I made that joke.
Old school, dog.
Yeah, I thought it was barbecue, man.
A lot of Koreans now, they used to do a lot more stuff, you know?
Now, they just do barbecue.
And Chin won't shut the fuck up about it.
Oh, yeah.
Chin, what'd you do this weekend?
Korean barbecue.
Did you really?
Wow, what do you...
Every weekend, that's all he does.
Outdoors or indoors?
It's indoors.
Unbelievable.
You know your boy Steve Aoki has Korean barbecue in his house.
You mean Japanese?
I think he does both.
Wow.
Oh, yeah.
He has Benihana's.
Hey, meat, grill.
One guy's Japanese.
One guy's Korean.
What's the difference?
I got some meat for your grill right here, son.
You feel me?
You want that barbecue chin?
You want to cook a little?
My meat on your grill, dog.
You just used my joke.
That was my joke.
Dude, that's my joke.
I've been using it forever, dude.
No, you said put some meat on your grill.
It's the same joke, bro.
It's similar.
What?
It's the same realm.
Oh, my God, dude.
What's up, dog?
Nothing.
My jokes, apparently.
My secondhand jokes, bro.
Your goodwill jokes?
Yeah, man.
Second rate, bro.
I'm doing okay, bro.
Damn, bro.
You look fucking...
Where's your axe?
You look like Paul Funyuns, dude.
You look like somebody who goes into a fucking 7-Eleven with an axe
and a fucking big blue thot.
And gets
a Coca-Cola Slurpee. And gets all
the Funyuns, you delinquent.
I don't like Funyuns, bro. They're
disgusting. I disagree, bro.
Oh, dear you, dude. I disagree.
You excited for Halloween? Oh, yeah, I'm excited,
man. Somebody just hit me up yesterday to say
what do I do to do a Theo Vaughn costume?
Oh, pretty easy.
Look like a transgender...
You look like a transgender scarecrow.
You think so, dude?
I could go for that.
The only thing I don't like about scarecrows is they get bugs
in them, dude. That's the part I wouldn't like about being a scarecrow.
And you don't see that. You don't see a lot of
the aftermath of it. Bugs in them. Wolves come up at night and piss on them.
Yeah, it's a dirty job. Somebody has to do it. Now, their sole job is to scare the crows
away. Now, is it just crows?
Other ducks, other animals fall for it.
Other ducks fall for it.
Other ducks fall for it. Crows are dark ducks, dude.
You know what I'm saying?
Say whatever you want, bro.
Crows are the dark arts of freaking parrots, I think.
I don't think you know what you're saying, but if you need me, I'll be over here.
Jeepers, creepers, dude.
Jeepers, creepers.
What do you got in them beepers?
No, no.
Is that how it goes?
Where'd you get those peepers, dude?
Peepers, that's it.
And that's an old, what is that, Derek?
Is that an old?
I knew it from the Jeepers Creepers movie.
Yeah, no shit, Derek.
Jeepers Creepers is the movie, dude.
He said it like it might have been from something else.
Oh, I thought it was like an old church song.
It's in that movie, though.
That's what I know of, right?
The guy from the iPhones.
Really?
What's his name, Jason Long? No. Yeah's what I know of, right? The guy from the iPhones. Really? What's his name?
Jason Long?
No.
Yeah.
Justin Long.
Justin or Jason?
Justin.
Justin Long, yeah.
Man, he never shook the Apple thing, did he?
Justin Long?
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
I think he was a child.
Was he a child star, Justin Long?
Well, he was a child when he did those Apple commercials.
He just looks older.
No, he wasn't.
He was 40.
He's 50.
He was 17. Well, he dated Drew Barry when he did those Apple commercials. He just looks older. No, he wasn't. He was 40. He's 50. He was 17.
Well, he dated Drew Barrymore for a hot second.
Everybody did, though.
Yeah, true.
He's 41.
She dates him, aliens.
Dude, him and freaking Zach and Marie make a porno is the best.
So good.
I will go on that adventure with you.
The gay adventure.
He's so gay. He's so gay.
He's so gay and it's hilarious.
His voice is so deep.
Born in Fairfield, Connecticut.
Father was a Latin professor.
So they was rich, bro.
Let's be honest, dog.
You don't see nobody fucking learning Latin in the fucking ghetto, bro.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
One language only.
Yeah, you're not in the ghetto and somebody's like,
Hizmus Gidigaricus, you know what I'm saying? That language only. Yeah, you're not in the ghetto when somebody's like, hizmus gittigaricus.
You know what I'm saying?
That's very rare.
More ebonics.
Yeah, you don't see a lot of fucking Latin out there in the ghetto. A lot of Latin and spinners going around these days.
You feel me?
Yeah, dude.
You're not in the barrio when you see a couple of fucking vatos
rolling up with some Roman numerals, papa.
Okay, let's be rational, papa.
Dude, yeah, you got Halloween coming up.
What are you guys doing in Korea, Chen, for Halloween?
Just the country of Korea, I think.
Well, North Korea, they can't celebrate it.
Well, can they?
I don't know.
Can you look that up?
Do they have Halloween in North Korea, Darren?
They do not.
Wow, Brennan saying something and guessing really hard.
I'm telling you they don't.
Really?
They don't even get TV over there.
Bro, they get a lot of stuff you don't know about.
Halloween in North Korea.
Though the holiday is not traditionally celebrated in all of Korea.
Kids, adults, don't say anything about North Korea.
North Korea, they can't do shit, dude.
72% of Koreans were interested in going to a Halloween party.
They thought about it.
Yeah, they thought about it.
Well, there you go, Brendan.
Then they all thought about it.
You know what I'm saying?
Are there any images that go along with this, Der?
Yeah, what do they dress up as, Americans?
Cowboys, I bet.
Oh, no, dude.
They have one costume, and it's Kim Jang-il or whatever that guy's name is.
Kim Jong-il.
Are you doing anything for Halloween, Chin?
Nothing.
But Chin's 40, bro.
You're not, dude.
Nah, bro.
40, dude.
No way you are, dude.
It'd be creepy if he was like, yeah, I'm going around, dude.
You got to get away from the grill, bro.
You ain't fucking 42, dog.
That's not all that fucking. Yeah get away from the grill, bro. You ain't fucking 42, dog. That's not all that fucking...
Yeah, get off the grill and...
That's not all that petro...
What's the stuff you put in a grill?
That Bunsen burner gas fucking cooking your skin down.
That petroleum, baby.
Petroleum, that propane cooking your skin down, dude.
Chin, you ever take hits of that propane?
No.
What are you guys doing?
Now, you guys are drinking at these grills, aren't you?
Okay.
You drink a lot, Chin?
Yeah, soju. You guys drink soju? Soju, aren't you? Okay. You drink a lot, Jen? Yeah.
Soju.
You guys drink soju?
Soju.
A ton of soju.
And who is soju?
Soju is that Korean rice?
I thought it was a friend.
Yeah.
I thought it was a friend of yours.
No.
I mean, it would be crazy if it's purified by a boy and they have him drink it.
A little soju?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
I'm always with soju.
Bring him over here.
A little soju.
Get over here.
Spin his mouth like a little baby bird.
Kat, are you doing anything for Halloween?
Kat's definitely doing, Kat is Halloween, I feel like.
I am Halloween?
Yeah, I just feel like you always kind of have like, you know, like you like to die.
A Nightmare Before Christmas vibe.
Yes.
No.
No?
Dye your hair, wear different outfits.
I could see you, I could see your boyfriend or husband or whatever you have coming home
and you flying off the top rope
in a fucking cat suit
or something
and attacking him.
Maybe because your name's Cat also.
That's like a Halloween costume.
I see you go as a Power Ranger.
Yeah.
And Cat is a popular
Halloween costume in America.
The most popular.
Yeah.
The most popular.
Also,
thoughts.
Relax on Halloween.
It's the kids Halloween.
You know,
quit having your ass cheeks and tits in my face.
Yeah.
You're not getting my baby Ruth.
Yeah.
Or you'll get a kid.
Yeah.
What were you going to say, Kat?
I don't know.
No plans as of right now.
Zero?
I might end up going to USC and just kind of party hopping.
Oh, going back to the old alumni, huh?
Yep.
Go as Olivia Jade.
Pretend like I bought my way in
oh i like that that sounds fun it's a good car what are you doing oh man i don't worry but my
birthday is coming up so i don't worry when's your birthday the 25th dog are you high there
are you high right now well i mean i spoke high in life i've been high every time i've smoked weed
every time you've ever met me in my entire life.
He's like Cheech and Chong.
No, he isn't, dude.
That's fucking Derek, dude.
He's like Derek and Hassan.
They both just smoked nonstop. No, this one guy I'm talking to and he looks high.
Are you under the influence of marijuana right now?
Yeah.
Mary Jane.
You've never met me not under the influence of marijuana.
Oh, damn.
So you clearly don't know him at all.
Well, dude, put a necklace on or something when you're high so I know.
Yeah, wear some glasses or something.
Wear a hat.
Wear a special high hat.
Yeah, wear a bell under one of your arms or something.
Your birthday's the 25th.
What's today?
Today is the 22nd.
22nd.
So it's Friday.
So you got three days if you make it.
Thank you.
Because in the urban community, a lot of young men don't see.
How old are you, Derek?
About to be 29.
I'm 28.
A lot of young men don't see 30 in there.
That's a Tupac lyric. In that yeah your boys ain't gonna make it to 30 yep i made that up i made that up i forget the lyric did you but i believed you bro everyone
went like this and i looked over and chin was like this i it sounded with with a fucking pair of thongs And fucking beef like this
They're called
Tongs bro
What I call thongs
Sometimes the H is silent
Sometimes the H doesn't exist bro
They're tongs
Dude no thongs
You get it lit for Halloween
Beef and thongs baby
What kind of green barbecue are you going
to, Theo? That could be your new band.
You gotta get a bandmate.
Beef and thongs.
Beef and thongs, boy.
Dude, I'd go watch Beef and Thongs
drop a couple hits. Oh yeah, chin on the
guitar, just shredding it up.
D, what are you gonna do for your B-Day, man?
I don't know. We're doing Ice House.
So I'll be there that night. We're doing Ice House Thursday.
Ice House with Isis.
Is his song going to be there?
No, he's in New York planning something.
They should have Isis House one night and it's all Middle Eastern comedians.
Ooh, that's a great idea.
That'd be really funny.
Except for no Middle Eastern comedians would show up.
We'd be all white guys.
A lot of them want stage time, dude.
They just want stage time.
You're right.
No, my girl has some plans for me.
I don't know yet.
Surprise birthday party, huh?
They might know it's
your birthday on Friday.
We'll have to do
something.
I don't know about
Friday night if I'm available,
but we'll figure it out.
I see you like
every other day.
I'm not available.
So, happy birthday.
I'm not available, dude.
Do you really do anything
for your birthday?
I don't do anything.
I do nothing.
I have to get it out of you it was your birthday. Yeah, dude. I don't do anything for my birthday, actually. Do you get anything for your birthday? I don't do anything. I do nothing. I have to get it out of you as your birthday.
Yeah, dude, I don't do anything for my birthday, actually.
Do you get sad on your birthdays?
I do.
You do?
Yeah, I do.
Okay, so this isn't a question for me, then.
I'm asking you, but I want you to be in the safe zone.
Are you?
Because I feel like if you're running low on gas, you get depressed.
Yeah.
I didn't know if...
Dude, I've run out of gas probably 30 times.
I didn't know people didn't run out of gas probably 30 times i
didn't know people didn't run out of gas until about four years ago dude i ran out of gas and
some lady was like what the fuck are you doing boy you know yeah you're running out of gas i was
like yeah i was running out of gas she's like i was like you know you can only put so much gas
in the car yeah and she's like no shit and that's why you had to get more gas you know you ever ran
out and had to push the car oh dude it dude. That shit is so embarrassing. That's half my childhood, bro.
I've ran out of gas,
no joke, probably 35 times.
That's why you got that ass.
Yeah.
Pushing that car, bro.
Yeah, boy.
That'll build your glutes.
I got those gas cheeks, baby.
You know what I'm saying?
Twerk, twerk, twerk, baby.
I got that fucking
97 Thot-tane, boy.
Tank on E-cheeks, bro.
I got them tank on E-cheeks, boy. I got them tank on E-cheeks,
boy. So, Derek,
your birthday, man. Jesus, huh?
29. 29, dude.
I made it. Derek's gonna be 30. You're gonna be 30.
Well, I'll be 29. Oh, you'll be 29.
Ah, still not the big 3-0.
Still not the 30, so still
in that danger zone.
26, 27.
One of those. Or 87, dude.
Bro, Hassan dyes his fucking, his whatever hair he has on him, white.
Dude's fucking 68.
I don't think he has any hair.
Does he?
Well, he has a beard pretty thick, but no hair on the head.
Bro, in the desert, you can live under a fucking, you don't have to have water, but I mean,
you have very little sustenance.
A lot of those people.
Yeah.
Hassan's a cactus.
Yeah.
Hassan is basically a cactus, dude. He's a Middle Eastern cactus. He is. I don. Hassan's a cactus. Yeah. Hassan is basically
a cactus, dude.
He's a Middle Eastern cactus.
He is.
I don't think there's
cactus out there,
but whatever.
Cacti, they call it.
Cacti.
Yeah.
He's that cacti's boy.
Cacti's.
Dude, I can't believe
what a fucking sad group
we're doing.
Nobody's doing shit
for Halloween.
Nothing, dude.
What about you,
Playboy?
Kevin's trying to get me to host a party.
Well, that sounds fucking miserable.
Sounds like you definitely don't have a plan.
Holy fuck.
Is it?
I don't know, dude.
He has no plans. And what kind of party
is it? Do you guys do it? If you have a party,
what's it typically like? People Like, do you guys do it? If you have a party, what kind of do you, what do you, what's the tip?
Like, just people drinking?
Any weaponry or anything?
Bring your own weapons, bring your own beer, bring your own everything.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, I like that.
Well, damn.
Doesn't sound like you're putting this party together very well.
Well, bro, he's providing the space, bro.
He's providing the fucking space, bro.
Yeah, man.
Jesus Cristo, papa. Interesting, man. Jesus Cristo, papa.
Interesting, man.
Yeah, no one's doing shit for Halloween.
But again, everyone's a little older.
Kat, I thought maybe was going to have something going on.
Yeah, that's why I think, maybe I think it's low-key, I'm sub-naturally or something, whatever it's called,
hoping that Kat is doing something so we can live vicariously through her.
Well, she's going to USC, though.
That's where it gets pretty loose.
I feel like you might run into
Will Ferrell at a Halloween party there.
I think you might run into
some feral bitches over there, dude.
Oh, yeah.
That's why we should go.
Are there people doing cocaine out there?
What is it?
Mostly Adderall and Xanax.
Oh, wow.
Even to party?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
Xanax?
That's at Xanax. It's USC. It's USC, Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Xanax, that's at Xanax.
It's USC.
It's USC, Brendan.
They get everything there.
But Xanax is, what is it?
Xanax is a, what is it?
Xanax, a lot of people use for anxiety.
It's an anxiety medicine.
So why would you want to party with it?
A lot of people like to feel loose.
Yeah.
People don't want their anxiety.
They have to add a party.
Why would people have anxiety at a party?
It's a party.
Let loose. That's the slogan. That's party? It's a party. Let loose.
That's the slogan.
That's how they're doing it with Xanax.
Because if you don't have anxiety,
it then makes you looser than you naturally are.
So you're basically high.
I take Xanax.
You take it?
My butt getting raped.
What?
I'm too loose already.
You know what I'm saying?
I go to USC on Xanax.
What are you talking about, Brendan?
There's somebody listening to this right now probably getting raped
who is taking offense to that.
Probably on Zanny, yeah. Now you know
not to take it. That's why I know not to.
I'm a loose dude as it is.
I think Zanny is also a popular Korean name, isn't it,
Chin?
It's also a rapper named Little Zanny.
Little Zanny.
All those guys die, dude.
All those guys die. Everyone named after a drug.
Little Pectoral or whatever.
If you have little, you're not living to 29.
Little Pesticide.
Little Pesticide died a couple years ago.
Remember last year?
Little Propane.
Yeah, Little Propane died.
Little Prop.
Little Skeet.
Little Skeeters.
He drowned.
What is this show about? that's what I want to know
what do we do
real quick
Kat have you done
Zanny
no I thought about
selling it to rich kids
while I was at
USC though
fuck yeah Kat
because no one
ever think I'm the one
selling it
she's probably got a bag
of pills in her
fucking cooter right now
no offense Kat
hit me up after the show
what'd she say hit me up after the show. She's a little mule.
What'd she say?
Hit me up after the show.
What's up?
I was trying to get her to hustle her feet.
She's like, fuck your feet.
I sell pills, son.
She's like, she got that Pez dispenser, baby.
Lord of War over there, bro.
Oh, Lord of War is good, isn't it?
That's a great movie.
Shout out Jared Leto.
You mess with Zanny?
Okay.
Chin's doing drugs then.
Yeah, Chin will get on them drugs.
I can see it.
He's losing his hair too.
Are you really?
Of course.
No, he's not.
No.
It's thinning out for sure.
No, it isn't, Chin.
Well, you're just not growing it.
You'll never know if it's thinning out unless you grow it again.
Look at me and Theo.
Long hair.
Don't care.
Your hair's going faster though derrick's or chins
oh god damn d damn darren darren you took his breath away bro what up baby yeah no no you got a long time girl. I get that, bro. That shit is...
Long time.
God bless her, man. Derek got that hitter, bro.
Or does he?
Yeah, he got that fucking
Hendrick Douglas, dog.
Derek's got that fucking wild bro, bro.
And he's fearless about it, that's what I'm talking about.
You should open up a barbershop, bro.
You come in and we fucking give you what you get, son.
We'll just see what happens.
Just have a sharp gun
and just fucking cut people's hair real fast.
Yeah, yeah.
Shout out to Derek and Chin for losing their hair.
Derek's not losing his hair, dude.
And neither is Chin, man.
You said Chin is, I said Derek is.
Okay. The race to see who goes bald first. Okay. But Chin, man. You said Chin is. I said Derek is. Then I said the race
to see who goes bald first.
But Chin has an advantage.
He's 40-something. It's really not leaving.
He just shaves his head. You have that big scar
on your head. You're going to be fine, yeah.
You got a ton of hair, too, over here,
party boy.
I'm talking about that.
Party boy's got a fucking...
Too legit to Quit over here
Party Boy, man
Kid and Play over here
Dude, he looks a little bit like Johnny Depp-ish
Doesn't he?
Little Johnny Depp-ish
You get that?
I get that and I get John Wick
Yeah
I'm kind of reed
Yeah
Are you Native American?
No, he's not
Dude, he's Latino, huh?
Bienvenidos, papa
Bienvenidos
Ah, bueno, bueno
Fucking Brendan, dude Bueno, si, papi Sivenidos. Ah, bueno, bueno. Fucking Brendan, dude. Bueno, si,
papi. Si, bueno. Brendan,
man. He doesn't look Native.
I was thinking Native American,
bro. Native American, dude.
Yeah, that Apache hitter over there, son. Look at that
shit. Oh, yeah, I will see that. Fucking
Geronimo, son. If he had a hatchet
or something, yeah. Yeah, maybe a little Aztec.
But you can't accuse someone of being an Indian if they don't
have a hatchet, Brendan.
Or face paint.
That's fair.
Or face paint.
Well, face paint,
anybody can have face paint.
You can't be at a party
and be like,
oh, are you Native American?
And somebody's like,
no, I'm fucking, you know.
No, you can only have face paint on.
I'm a mime.
It's Halloween.
Dude, you can only have face paint on
if it's Halloween.
You know what I'm saying?
If you're not Native American,
you can't wear face paint.
When are you going to wear face paint? What does this show about, dude? That's what I'm saying? If you're not Native American, you can't wear face paint. When are you going to wear face paint?
What does this show about, dude?
That's what I want to know.
It's about great Halloween ideas.
Yeah.
Okay, and we have none.
Okay, here's our costumes right now.
My costume is depression, pretty much.
Chin is basically admitted to alcoholism and wearing beef around.
Beef and thongs.
Yeah, beef and thongs.
It's a new band.
Come see them live at the film work tonight.
Beef and thongs.
I don't know what the rest of our costumes are, man.
What are you going to be, Brendan, you say?
Oh, I'm the boogeyman from Nightmare Before Christmas.
My son's Zero, and my girl's going to be Sally.
Oh, wow.
Sally Jessie Raphael?
Yeah, I love that bitch.
I saw her at an airport one time.
I was excited, man.
Did she have the glasses on?
Well, yeah.
Yeah, fuck yeah, she did.
And she was starting to lose some of her faculties, I think.
So she had a man with her that was keeping tabs on her.
Oh, a handler?
Yep.
Remember back in the day, it was like Oprah, Sally, Jerry Springer.
Phil Donahue.
Oh, bro.
Good callback.
Phil Donahue was fucking fine as fuck, bro.
Hell yeah, dude.
You bring a picture of him up, Derek?
Yeah.
Yeah, he was a good looking dude.
But back then, all those daytime talk shows were the shit, weren't they?
Oprah ran the world back then.
Now she does a book club.
Phil Donahue right there.
He's dead?
I'm assuming. No, he is not, dude. Really? Let's see if he right there. He's dead? I'm assuming.
No, he is not, dude.
Really?
Oh, no, he's alive.
Phil never died, bro.
He's alive.
Fuck, yeah.
83 years old?
Hell yeah.
Beautifully, he was married to Marge Cooney at one point,
and he was married to Marlo Thomas at one point.
Five children coming out of fucking sweet Philly's D.
Fuck yeah, dude.
How many kids do you think you have inside of your nuts,
you think, at one time?
Look that up, Derek.
Oh, man.
I think it just depends on where you're blasting it, right?
Because a swimmer's got to compete.
It's kind of like the movie 300.
How many kids in your nuts?
I can't even believe.
I could only imagine some of Derek's fucking high school
term papers, man.
Tough.
How many kids
in your nuts?
Oh, testicles.
Who's going to have kids first?
Chin, Theo,
or Derek?
Yeah, probably Derek. Cat says Derek. says Derek why cat why don't you wait?
Let's get a woman's perspective you someone with an actual egg you fuck
Cuz I think Derek's the only one actively busting. Yeah, right. That's true. I'm mad at yesterday and in nothing
I'm so fucking you don't avoid that I'm never. You're throwing in a plant or nothing?
Not in a plant, nothing?
Feed something, you son of a bitch.
I'm not feeding something, Derek.
Daniel.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure, Derek, though.
You think, Kat?
And then out of me and Chin.
Out of me and Chinny Chin Chin,
who stole his name from a fucking children's nursery rhyme,
Three Little Pigs.
I think it's going to be you, Theo. Amen. theo amen and then afterwards chin i don't know what's happening i don't think i don't think kids are in
the book for chin first of all chin just needs to find something to hang out with chin has to
have kids dude or his parents will fucking kill him bro they're on you about it i told you dude
you're right you know you're koreans Hey, but aren't they worried that you don't date anybody all the time?
Damn, bro.
What?
I didn't fucking wander through that sentence, bro.
Like a fucking blind dude.
I'm trying to be careful here.
Chit doesn't date, bro.
Like a blind guy at a sharp shop, boy.
You fucking wandering through that sentence.
Sharp shop?
You mean a knife store, bro? A sharp shop? A sharp shop, dog fucking wandering sharp shop you mean a knife store bro a sharp shop
a sharp shop the fuck are you from bro if you sell knives and you just sell knives sharp shop
bro you fucking sell everything in that bitch dude razor blades sharp plastic answer up jenner
get out of here uh are they worried because you don't date anybody ever? They've expressed a lot of concern.
Yeah.
They know that I hang out, but they don't really have romantic dating.
Yeah, they know you have friends.
They don't think you're a psychopath.
I don't know.
What'd you think, D?
I saw him with a baddie one time.
I thought that was his wife.
You saw that baddie at the store?
Yeah.
His mother.
That was his mom.
Oh, she's nice.
Time, time, brother.
Or yin
Take care of the taste town baby
Look can we
What is this show again
Can we start the show
I guess we're all
Throwing a Halloween party
That's all our plan
And this guy's throwing it
Me llamo Teodoro
Te llamas?
Yeah. Luis.
His name's Luis for those of you that don't speak Spanish.
God, man. Like Brendan.
White people.
Let's go. We're having a party at Luis's, bro.
Party at Luis's. I'm going streaking.
Party at Luis's. Cats bringing
the drugs. Derek's bringing
the haircuts.
Chin's bringing the beef. No, no. Chin's the music haircuts. Chin's bringing the beef.
No, no. Chin's the music,
bro. Live band.
Beef and thongs. Beef and thongs, man.
And we're
bringing the bullshit, dude. Let's get into this.
Here's a white guy that has a problem. Let's hear it.
We'll debate him. This is our boy.
Nick Carter.
Here's some guy in recovery. Is this Nick
Carter? Nick Carter. I don't believe that. His name's Nick Carter from Marysville in recovery Is this Nick Carter? Nick Carter I don't believe that
His name's Nick Carter
From Marysville
Marysville, Washington
Yo
King in the sting
Part of football season
I came up with a good debate
For you guys to try
Who do you think
Would be the better quarterback?
Chris Dance D'Elia
Or Andrew Chito Santino I think in you know the better quarterback? Chris Dance D'Elia or Andrew
Chito Santino?
I'm thinking, you know,
the redhead might be a better quarterback
in the NFL, but I figured it'd be
a good debate for you guys. So, gang,
gang, rub-a-dub, buzz-buzz.
Thanks, guys.
Rub-a-dub-dub. Gang, bro.
This one for me is easy.
Chito Santino. The ginger to remember, dude. You know what I'm saying? The fucking red Andy Dalton, bro. This one for me is easy. Chito Santino. The ginger to remember, dude.
You know what I'm saying?
The fucking red Andy Dalton, bro.
I think he's got more fire in him.
He doesn't care what happens to him.
He has seen more sports.
Chris doesn't like sports.
Chris doesn't like doing anything or sports.
But I think Chris is more athletic.
Now, what do you mean by athletic?
Looks athletic or actually is athletic?
Oh, man.
And what type of athleticism?
If you're talking about somebody to swim romantically to the bottom of a fucking beautiful ocean area and pick up a fucking conch shell.
Okay.
Chris.
Okay. ocean area and pick up a fucking conch shell okay chris okay if you're talking about somebody to
fucking sidestep a couple of fucking crackheads in an alley somewhere santino and fucking run
the ball to the end zone losing both of his arms in the process and not care and not care and not
even get it to the end zone yeah santino santino did grow up in chicago the streets of chicago is
a redhead yeah and yeah he's, he's got to take into consideration.
He has some darkness about him.
There's some anger there.
I don't know if it's just because he's redhead.
I've met some pretty chill redheads.
Santino, not chill redhead.
Yeah, that's true.
He has a podcast about alcoholism.
Look, I think this is an easy one for me, man.
This is Santino.
If you're talking about if your sport is someone to lay on a cloud and finish a fucking pudding that they're not gonna like with their shirt off
not only feeding some puddings themselves but feeding some to each nipple on their chest
the leah okay if your sport is fucking wrestling a needle out of some fucking businessman's arm in some shady fucking jewelry heist.
Well, that's not football, Sid.
Yeah, I feel you.
And do it linebacker or shady businessman with a needle.
Whatever.
And doing a line of coke in a Kia Sophia as he fucking argues with his fucking wife over FaceTime about their two fucking fat kids somewhere.
Santino. Yeah, I got to agree, man. This is an easy one. Sant fat kids somewhere? Santino.
I gotta agree, man. This is an easy one. Santino
all day. Santino? Yeah.
You know what? 55% Santino.
It was pretty close. Interesting.
Up next, we got Dave from
Ontario, Canada.
I want to go to Ontario, too.
Hey, Theo and
Brendan, this is Dave from Ontario, Canada.
Why is he whispering? I got a debate question he's
not brendan he's at peace he's in the gym by the snack machine rock stars or rappers
let me know what you think gang gang buzz buzz buzz buzz young man by the snack machine at the
gym i feel i like to hang out there too sometimes uh i can see you dude yeah reload that sugar levels um dude you're over there
shoulder pressing these nerd ropes
uh rock stars or rappers as far as who gets more hoes dude if it was the 90s rock stars 80s rock
stars all day dude think about the rock stars back in the day. Okay, so I think you have to talk about rock stars at that time.
They don't have rock stars anymore.
That's what I'm saying.
There's no rock stars.
Nickelback doesn't count.
Well, Nickelback also was a 20-year-ago reference.
I mean, let's talk about a recent rock star.
Who's a new rock star?
Aaron Carter.
Nick Carter.
Yeah, the Carter, three.
Lil Wayne is almost a rock star now when you think about it.
He's played more guitar than half the fucking other guys who would even be considered.
He went on tour with Blink-182.
Right.
And he left because he was like, you know what?
This crowd's too white for me.
Oh, really?
Did you not think about this before you jumped in with Blink-182?
All the small things he got out the way the fuck is
happening right now he's like i like to skate but not this much see everybody want to skate
till they start playing the music everybody wants to skate till you start doing some skater shit
the tight jeans don't make you a skater little wayne um man yes can you think of a rock who's
a rock the biggest rock star right now who's the redhead with the with the with the fucked up eyes
yeah ed sheeran it's probably the biggest rock star you got yeah ed sheeran he's a rock star
bro he's chin you know music well get well name a rock star he's mall rock just just like name someone who's not pop
john mayer maybe well no errol smith was hot in the 60s 70s 80s 90s i know well no you read
jared leto 30 seconds to mars 30 seconds to mars six degrees of saturn or whatever yeah
mars what are you saying he's saying post Post Malone, but I was like,
hey,
he's a rapper really.
He's rapper pop,
but Post Malone's kind of fair
because he does do a little bit of it.
A little bit?
Dude,
yeah,
when we were,
yeah,
when we was children,
they had,
oh,
dude,
Led Zeppelin.
They had,
ACDC.
Yeah.
Aerosmith.
Journey.
Journey,
bro.
Journey fucking died on the journey.
The whole band, bro. Dude, lead singer, Korean now. Yeah. Journey, bro. Journey fucking died on the journey. The whole band, bro.
Dude, lead singer, Korean now.
Talk about beef and tongs.
Bro, I remember they used to have a magazine that would come to you once a month, and it
was like pictures of the rock, and they'd been fighting each other with fucking broken
bottles.
Dude, Rock of Love.
Dude, I went and saw, no.
Who's their lead singer?
Who's it?
Brett Michael. Oh, dude. and saw... No. Yeah, who's their lead... Who's... Bret Michael.
Oh, dude.
Bret...
Goo Goo Dolls.
Oh, now we're talking.
You know you look similar.
Put your arms around me.
You know you look similar to the lead singer, right?
You know I've been to fucking nine of their shows, dude.
I followed them across...
I followed them one time.
I followed them across about 1 8th of Pennsylvania.
Dude, I'm a Dave slave.
I will fucking follow Dave Matthews to the end
of Earth.
Satellite
in my eyes
like a diamond.
You're dating yourself, Brendan. Dave Matthews?
You like the Goo Goo Dolls.
You have the same stylist. Dave Matthews
Dave's appeared, bro. Where's that
fucking dude been? Dude, he's selling out all over,
bro. He just released a new album, bro. Did's the goo goo dolls goo goo dolls are everywhere they're performing
right now somewhere yeah they are so so is dave matthews you're a hater yeah yeah i am but think
about how big rock stars were back in the day there's nothing bigger there's nothing dude
metallica they're still doing it yeah now it's a lot more hype. He's in rehab, but whatever. So I think, but then rappers get more like, I think, I don't know,
rappers seem to, they get more like those video vixens.
Yeah.
Nothing better.
And I don't know.
And they get those IG hoes, too.
Yeah.
Them big booty bitches.
They slide in those DMs, whatever city they're into.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, man.
Well, this day, it's just, it's a time thing, you know? If you're talking about the 70s,
80s, rock stars destroyed.
What do you guys think? Let's get some culture, dude.
I'd say rappers, just because rappers
get all colored chicks.
Black girls were never, like, fucking,
they were only fucking white girls.
You know what I mean? Black girls were only
fucking white girls? No. Metallica was, like, only fucking white girls. You know what I mean? Rappers were only fucking white girls?
No, Metallica was like only fucking white girls and ACDC, like they're all white girls.
Black girls were like, ooh, Journey, bro, you know?
Right, they didn't have,
yeah, they didn't have black girls
coming to their audience, right?
Rap is one of the few genres
where all cultures will go watch the music.
Yes.
Everyone.
Everyone goes to watch it.
I would say rappers are getting in more.
Yeah, rappers, they cover all demos everyone pops is there what was
the guy's question originally specifically what was he saying gets
more rappers or who gets more ladies kind of an outdated question because
there's no rock stars to homeboys point post Malone's kind of the closest yeah
you know it's so tough it's tough to figure that out man it's tough. It's tough to figure that out, man.
It's very tough.
It's tough to figure that out.
I don't know for the people to ask.
No,
I mean,
you're a big Goo Goo Dolls fan and I'm Dave Matthews.
I think that says it all.
But I would say rappers
if I had to get in my head.
I would say John Mayer,
though,
is the closest thing that we have
and I think he's obviously,
he's been with every woman
in the whole world.
So he's probably
so many people's dad.
I cannot think of one rock star chin you're in the
music business yeah chin fucking fucking go dude dude i'm gonna take some of your hair out of your
head dude yeah welcome to the new korea dude for every time you don't fucking have an answer we
take a piece of hair out of your head you know travis barker's kind of the most rock guy.
He's raising his hand over here.
What's up?
Who?
Corey Taylor for the Titans?
No, that's Corey Davis.
Who is it?
Oh, Slipknot.
You still have a lot of those.
ICP.
Jamie Josta.
You still have a lot of those skunk metal bands, you know?
ICP?
Inkstain, Clown Posse. You got... Limp Bizkit. Fred Durst. Fred Durst. Buster Nuts. those skunk metal bands you know icp insane clown posse you got uh limp biscuit fred durst fred
durst bust the nuts no in his bedroom alone fred durst uh in his bedroom alone he's not he's not
i don't know if he's doing albums whatever dude i don't want to talk about it anymore
yeah i don't it's hard to figure out i think good that... Good call, though, with Insane Clown Posse. I... Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Green Day?
Green Day.
Coldplay.
Coldplay.
I like Coldplay.
Yeah, you got guys
maybe like James Blake.
I mean, he's...
But he's...
I mean, it's just...
It's tough.
It's like,
what is a rock star now?
It doesn't exist.
Maroon 5, Adam Levine.
He's a rock star.
He's a rock star. I think he can play an instrument. Maybe that's the qualifier.. Maroon 5, Adam Levine, he's a rock star. He's a rock star. I think
he can play an instrument. Maybe that's the qualifier.
I'm a fan of Adam Levine.
I'm a fan of Maroon 5.
You are? He's beautiful though, Adam Levine.
I saw him at a Halloween party, but I'm straight.
You went as a straight man, you're saying?
Yeah.
I went my whole life as a straight man, dude.
Well, it's time to take the mask off.
What else you got?
This is my real face, dude.
Get me out of this question, Derek.
59% rock stars.
Wow.
That's what they went with.
That didn't make sense.
It does make sense, Brandon.
Well, if it's back then.
It's like we need a time period.
That's true.
It's ridiculous.
Our boy is back, guys.
Oh!
We want one without the mask.
The Babe Club.
King Stang is a dirty artist J-Rod made in cheap.
I feel like we've gotten pretty close.
Man, I feel like it's time you meet the folks.
Mama, I wanted you.
Mama?
Oh, damn.
It is.
Mama's a fucking furry.
Gotta tell dad.
Dad moans.
Dad?
Why do they torture me?
Is that my fucking brother-in-law Paul?
Fuck man.
My mom's a furry and my dad's a brony.
God damn King Sting.
I don't know which one's worse.
Being a furry or being a bro.
Let the fight begin.
God, this guy's great.
We got to meet this guy.
Whatever city he's in, we should do a live King Sting and bring him on stage.
Did we know anything about him?
Just J-Rod.
We don't know where he's from.
I love this.
He's mysterious.
J-Rod, yeah.
He actually is mysterious.
He's wearing panty on his head.
Now, I'm confused. I's mysterious. And J-Rod, yeah. He actually is mysterious. He's wearing panty on his head. Now, I'm confused.
I know what a furry is.
What's the other thing?
A peroni?
So I had to look it up.
Isn't that a bear?
Peroni is a disease that affects your penis.
I do know that.
No, it's a bear.
Peroni?
A brony.
Like a bro-ny.
It's a male adult fan of the hit 2010 show My Little Pony.
Yep.
And they take it to the max bro and that's a
real john that's a real person they do sex they're real people these are bronies oh no that's takashi
69 that's cool that's takashi 69 that's where he got his look from and those are furries and those
are furries and now the furry thing i could get into if somebody had some warm tits on the front
dude you cut out the tits cheeks out the the back. I'm all for it, dude.
Be a little fox.
You know what I'm saying?
Like a little fox.
That's called molesting someone.
Yeah, you're right.
You have to have full costume on to be involved.
I've read some of the different terms and conditions.
Did I tell you my friend was at the...
No, dude.
My friend was at the Porno Awards, AVN,
and he's this giant man, and they go, hey, man, we would love you.
Is it Rampage Jackson?
No.
Nope.
He's about 6'6".
They go, we'd love for you to be in this porno.
And he can wear a costume.
He's like, man, that sounds really cool.
And they show him the girls.
They put him in a Godzilla costume.
But just the dick is at the front.
He's like, oh, I can't do it. I guess he looked at himself in front. He's like, oh, I can't do it.
I guess he looked at himself in the mirror and was like, oh, I can't do this.
Just this junk thing at the front.
I can see that being tough to feel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You can't feel Godzilla's.
Just this giant Godzilla furry costume.
Yeah.
And it was all Asian girls.
I wish he did it.
I wish he did it.
He did it.
But the point is, is that would be a furry, I think.
Yes.
That would be a furry.
Dude, eat that bran muffin.
I'm getting a bite of muffin, Brendan.
Listen, I'm not familiar at all with the My Little Pony gang.
So they get together and celebrate My Little Pony?
Yeah, they have conventions for it.
Kat knows about it.
How big is it, Kat?
I have no idea. Why would I
know about it? Well, you seem to know about it.
Thank you. Yeah, you seem pretty knowledgeable on it.
Why? I don't know. You said they meet in Chino
every Sunday.
I didn't say that.
No, Kat said that.
This seems more up your alley.
I feel like if you had to pick someone in this room who would know about
this, all of us would say thing. I've never heard of this is this is foreign to me as fuck
No, not familiar with it dude, are you you familiar with this?
Hey chin, I'm just nod Hey, I just gotta know.
I know what side I'm leaning on.
Chin lies. Lose two hair.
I like that idea.
Chin, you ever dressed up
as a furry?
Hey, circle trust.
Never?
Yeah, you're damn right
you have.
That's getting interesting.
Fur coat with a mask you mean
so everybody wants to lie in here that's fine
that's fine
obviously not circle of trust
I would say furry because I don't know the other thing
Theo
I don't fucking know man
you know
I'm not familiar
honestly bro I don't fucking know dude
I ain't into all this whack shit
you ain't finding
me i you can't drive with that uh furry shit on because you can't drive with a full costume mask
on that's illegal i'm not doing that shit bro and it's expensive i feel like furry be expensive
i love j-rod bro but i don't like furries i don't like bronies there's only like 70 of them they
meet up in fucking charlest or whatever every year or wherever.
Gainesville?
Yeah, dude.
Sweating their ass off in the costumes?
Yeah.
Smoke a bowl of my nuts if you're either one of those, dude.
Yeah, I feel you.
I can't relate to either as well.
Yeah.
Collect baseball cards.
Sorry about your parents, though, J-Rod.
Sorry about your parents, bro.
Yeah, collect baseball cards.
And I am sorry, J-Rod, that you were conceived by both of these
and have an irremovable panty on your head, boy. I do love J-Rod, that you were conceived by both of these and have an irremovable panty on your head, boy.
I do love J-Rod.
What's the audience go with?
They probably don't know either.
Furry.
55% furry.
It was close.
55%?
Yeah, people like bronies.
Wow.
You can be a brony and then be a furry.
Furry is all-inclusive, man.
A brony?
A brony?
Yeah.
A brony.
Brony.
B-R-O-N-Y.
Wow. Yeah, like the spelling is going B-R-O-N-Y. Wow.
Yeah, like the spelling is going to help, Brendan.
I love that part.
That's news to me, dude.
I've never heard of it.
What else you got?
I've just found out.
I'm just kind of mean.
Sorry.
A little clown my hound, boys.
Jesus.
Up first, we got, this is Ludwig.
Oh, damn.
Goddamn, Ludwig.
Got that cinnamon sugar nose drip, though.
I lost a fight to a kid named Ludwig when I was in middle school.
Was it Dwayne Ludwig?
Because he would fuck your world up.
Nuh-uh.
Ludwig.
I think it was Double Ludwig.
I think his name was Ludwig.
It sounds like you guys got a fight at a mechanic shop.
God, look at the fucking dick on that puppy, huh?
Right?
Oh, no.
Oh, that's just an arm.
Oh, that's his nose.
Or those is nuts.
Those are nuts.
No.
Yeah.
Well, they shouldn't be sending that.
That's disgusting.
That's a nice hound, though.
He's a cute little hound, though.
What are they asking about this animal?
Oh, they just want you to clown him.
He's 11 months old.
Six and a half pounds. It's tough to clown him because he's cute as fuck. He can be those balls they just want you to clown him. He's 11 months old, six and a half pounds.
It's tough to clown him because he's cute as fuck.
He can be those balls.
It's easy to clown him, dude.
He's showing us his fucking nuts in that middle picture on purpose.
He survived two surgeries and a snake bite, apparently.
He survived two surgeries and a snake bite?
I'll tell you this, dude.
I don't need to clown you because you know who's clowning you, dude?
The Lord, okay?
Two snake bites?
You're doing something wrong in life, bro.
You got a couple months left, okay?
Gideon or what's the damn thing's name?
Ludwig.
Ludwig, okay?
Look here, little Ludwig.
Little Ludwig.
You about to take a fucking Pirelli to the neck, son, okay?
You better be careful in the neighborhood because you about to catch a car, dog.
Stay off the curb, you know what I'm saying?
The Lord's looking for you.
Two snake bites and a fucking cat attack the curb. You know what I'm saying? The Lord's looking for you.
Two snake bites and a fucking cat attack or whatever.
You going to heaven.
Yeah, he's short leash for this young man.
I'm going to show you nuts to people on the internet, bro.
That's what you get, bro.
You're going to end up in fucking jail, boy.
You're going to end up in jail with a couple of fucking brother dogs going at your ass.
Or six feet under, son.
Yeah, or six feet under, boy boy you want to live that gangster life
with your nuts out you're gonna pay for it bro so look this hound dude now i'm mad like deal
fuck this hound bro i mean he's i don't even like dogs yeah bro you know what i'm saying get my ass
bro you out so sorry ledwick uh he's cute there though he is cute though that first one's cute then he grew up
to be a bitch next we got tyson boys this is that's an original name tyson he's a boxer right
how do i guess there we go i'm at the hood yeah i'll tell you what i hate the racial profile here
but i see him on the street i'm'm crossing. You know what I'm saying?
I'm crossing over the street.
I don't trust this dude with the hood, the marks.
Not trustworthy.
Yeah.
You feel me?
I think he has coke on his paws if you look at his paws,
if you zoom in on the feet, on the foot.
I would assume he's got a case.
Probably has a couple, one, two felonies here and there.
Can't be trusted.
He definitely has that kind of. Looks like he's trying to do the right thing.
Looks like he's trying to do the right thing,
but it's really hard for him
because quick cash is the easy go for him.
He's got that Rocky Balboa look to him a little.
He does.
He definitely...
You know what, man?
He's been through a lot.
But he's made some poor choices, dude.
He has a couple kids he hasn't spoken to in a bit, I'm sure.
Child support, nope.
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
So look at that.
He's got that little hoodie on.
It looks like something from Gap from about 15, 18 years ago.
I don't trust him, dude.
I'm telling you that right now.
He gots nice arms, arms though if you look at his
front arm he definitely works out here's the prison build i don't know if he's working good
legs that's drug muscle i think oh you think i'm always jealous of drug addicts always skinny
you ever seen a fat drug addict go never chris farley checkmate wow bro you got checkmated no i'm talking about no no hold up
one that's like addicted to coke and meth you know what i'm saying yeah chris farley yeah meth yeah
dude he was like putting everything in his body well he's a special dude but in general that rare
element they're real skinny yeah well he's that rare element dude christopher farley we're talking
about yeah and he buried up there in Madison, Wisconsin.
I'll say that.
But this fella right here, this little animal, what's his name?
Cheryl?
Tyson.
Tyson.
He looks like he's selling that fucking Zanny with cat.
Yeah, this little bitch ain't shit.
This little, yeah, cat seems like you might date this guy, it seems like, cat.
Showed he want a thug.
Is he your type?
That's my type.
Cat riding shotgun listening to fucking G-Eazy.
Fuck with me and get some money.
What is it about this animal that you love here, kitty cat?
It's the hoodie.
The hoodie.
It's really the hoodie.
It yells hood, doesn't it?
It yells hood.
And he looks a little bit like French Montana a little bit.
Yeah.
He has a little bit of a Philadelphia flavor
maybe. A little New York flavor.
He's got that AIDS-y backsplash, you know?
Just can't wait to tell somebody
he's from Cuba.
Yeah. Look at that French Montana.
They look pretty similar. Yeah, gang, bro.
It's always weird to me
when he drops the M-bomb.
Yeah.
No. He's like like what is happening when him and drake do i'm like what is happening yeah guys you haven't earned that
yeah dude i guess you can't say it man no but this dog can what else you got
obviously this dog has missed court a couple times, dude.
And if he doesn't take care of himself, bruh, things are only going to get worse.
Oh, dude, you know who was on my flight?
I vote 40%.
What are we doing?
You know who was on my flight and I felt like coming up to him and just being like, dude,
we celebrate your hits.
Me and Theo Von Kienstein.
Nelly?
Nelly.
Wow.
I forgot about that.
He was on your flight?
Yeah.
You didn't say hey to him?
What? You didn't say hey to him? What?
You didn't say hey to him?
Oh, I did.
I went like this.
That's nothing.
Nope.
He went like this.
Dude, I saw Lamar Epps.
No, Chris Epps.
What's that guy, Mike Epps, one time?
Omar Epps.
Yeah.
The comedian?
Chris Epps.
Mike Epps.
Mike Epps.
Great special.
It wasn't him either.
Oh.
Who am I thinking of?
I can't remember.
What's next, Derek? Relationship advice, boys. Oh, it wasn't him either. Oh. Who am I thinking of? I can't remember. What's next, Derek?
Relationship advice, boys.
Oh, God, we help so many people.
This is Tony from Massachusetts.
Massachusetts.
What up, fellas?
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
Gang.
So I need some relationship advice.
I've been seeing this girl recently.
She's about 10 years older than me.
And she's an ex-stripper.
Wait, what did you say?
Sex is amazing.
She's a great girl.
She's been going to school.
Likes long nets.
The thing that makes me nervous about her
is she's really clingy.
And I don't know if I'm just laying down the pipe right or I'm someone she hasn't met before.
It's really exciting.
It's really fun.
It just seems a bit overwhelming right now.
She's a stripper, bro.
She's met so many dudes.
Brendan.
Wanting to be with me every night, wanting to sleep over, blah, blah, blah.
You know how it goes.
Nope.
I'm sure.
I do.
I don't know.
Let me know what I should do about this situation.
It's kind of tough for me to make a judgment call on it.
Love y'all.
Love you, man.
I appreciate you calling in, dude.
This guy seemed like a nice guy.
Sounds like something for Dr. Drew, but yeah, sure, man. You're a buff, boss. I appreciate you calling in, dude. This guy seemed like a nice guy.
Where's he from, Derek?
Sounds like something for Dr. Drew, but yeah, sure, man.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, here's the thing, dude. You got a stage five clinger.
It's a stripper.
You're the only guy in her life that she can trust.
Clearly probably didn't have a dad.
Let's be honest.
You don't know.
Do they have a picture of the woman?
No, we don't have a picture.
Do we have a family portrait?
I thought we did.
We don't?
Well, that's news to me.
Let's do more work, everybody.
I think that he should just.
Inspector Tragic over there.
Derek should have his.
Tim typing like this.
Derek's like
well we've narrowed it down to
everyone
dude be grateful
the chick wants to chill with you all the time
man and do fun stuff
what is this guy asking us I couldn't
figure I was trying to notate
what is being what's being occurred
so he's dating an ex stripper
he's 25 she's 34 she's dating an ex-stripper.
He's 25.
She's 34.
Okay.
She's clingy and bipolar, but the sex is amazing.
He just doesn't know what to do. Oh, he did say bipolar?
Yeah, he said she's bipolar.
Oh, you a doctor now too, bro?
Maybe she's just moody.
Maybe she works late as fuck like a vampire,
so during the day she's a little fucking out of it.
Brendan, that's insane.
What do you mean?
That's insane. Strippers don't work during the day it's an insane question or answer they do work some of
them do work during the day dude no shout out to those shout out to those ladies who are hard
working strippers it's easy to be in there stripping at night when everybody's throwing
money around you're right you'd be in there in the daytime when nobody's in there you're right
you're right it's like open mics you know right shout out to all of those daytime strippers bro you know them sunshine twerkers daytime stripper nation boy dsn yeah
you the you the ugly ducklings of the club and that's why you're there during the day beautiful
they're hard working they have families they're bust nope they're usually busted and because
notice it's the busted sunshine hose and prime rib go hand in hand
trying to get people in so you can have a little meat and watch these uglies damn rendon that's a
strip club dude yeah but i see that i think you got to see the beauty in all of them it's not
just about how they're you got jamie come on down yeah jamie does her best she tries super hard
and she's a nice lady you know she, she failed out of school, but who didn't?
You know?
Jamie's learning to
knit and just filled up her car with gas.
Jamie's really nervous.
Jamie's nervous as shit.
Doesn't want to be here.
It's your money, everybody.
Yeah, it's 1.15pm
on a Thursday.
It's 2 in the afternoon. She has a full fucking outfit on.
Refuses to take off her jeans.
Give it up for Jenny.
That's the strippers I'm talking about.
Yeah, me too.
Where are these real strippers at?
Yeah.
They ain't stripping.
They're nervous.
They're a little stiff up there.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Ruthie's fantasy team struggled this past weekend.
She's really having a tough time she had eggos for breakfast carrie is on break from fucking
home depot but she's here to make a couple extra bucks dude i like those i like that man
emotional strippers they're really working real strippers yeah i go, but I feel you. So what's this guy just...
Basically, this guy's just telling us that he's been doing good sex with a lady, basically.
Let's go to Kat.
Let's get some female or to Derek.
Some male female.
I mean, the stripper may look at him like he's her future 401k.
Like a retirement plan.
A young guy doing well.
Do we know he's doing well?
Or has potential to do well. He he's younger maybe he's in a more
stable lifestyle than she is she just wants someone to come home to dude you ever you ever
met some of those strippers some strippers are smart man where they get all that cash they got
properties and shit but not all of them are unfortunately and then they got their real
estate license and shit on the side like god damn think about buying this house you get that blowout ass girl she's like yeah you can catch me at diamond cabaret tonight
i'll take the crib and i'll see you at diamond cabaret girl it's tough out there people are
doing their best i know it's really tough for a lot of these ladies out there and uh
you know if we if we can do anything to help i guess just reach out to us you know
god i feel like we rate my stripper, dude.
They send him pictures of themselves.
I'm not doing that.
All right, you're right.
That'd be disgusting.
Well, I'm better than that.
I don't need to do it, but I would love to.
Or it could help them.
Or it blows them the fuck up.
The more dudes go and they make crazy money, and then they retire early.
And we're helping one strip at a time.
Strip-a-thon.
Nope. that's spring
break dude that's andy dick shit bro that's the kind of shit andy dick does you know no i say in
cancun dudes look guys spit ball ideas here try to help this kid out what does he need from us
this guy what was he asking us some relationship advice like about what like specific though oh
he's dating an ex-stripper she's clinging bipolar he doesn't know what to do should he stay with her should he not stay with
her i don't think it's gonna be up to you brother to be honest with you i i think she's driving this
ship amigo yeah dude i'm the captain now look at my teeth yeah dude and that was not an impersonation
you chenny thought it was him i did thought. Lose six hairs for thinking about yourself. Yep. Snip, snip, snip.
What I'm saying is this,
you're going to be fine, dude.
Okay?
You're naked right now in this video.
You don't have a fucking shirt on.
You're in bed.
You're fucking beaming.
You've obviously just either masturbated
or recently cum.
Clearly sleep on a futon.
You're going to be great.
And this lady's going to make the choice.
If she's bipolar, tripolar, you know,
that's how they do it now. You strippers next thing you know she fucking saws your arms off and they find
you two years from now in a fucking body bag outside of gainesville so i like when they're
bipolar give you a nice lap dance and maybe come up with a business plan after yeah i like it dude
oh yeah i've invested in a few ideas okay Yeah. So I think, yeah. I'm still waiting for those flying cars, Becky.
All right, bitch?
I think play it out, baby boy.
Yeah, let's see how it goes, bro.
Yeah, and we hope we helped you out,
and thank you for reaching out to us, man.
We appreciate the support.
I would like a picture next time.
And thanks for checking out King and the Sting, too, brother.
All right, boys, let's wrap it up with some King and the Sting.
I forgot about that, huh?
I know, huh?
Up first, this is Kat D'Elia.
Kat D'Elia.
Hey, boys.
So I have a King It or Sting It for you.
My name's Kat, by the way, so shout out to you, girl.
I just went to Ibiza with my girlfriend.
Friend that's a girl.
Took a pill in Ibiza.
And I met a boy at a club.
He was super Irish and kind of McGregory.
So I obviously
had to progress
the situation. And I couldn't understand
him, so it was perfect.
So we go back to the hotel room.
We're taking it slow because I'm also bad at
sex, Theo.
Shout out, boy.
You know what I'm saying?
MBG, baby. No bus gang he goes and I can't do the accent but I want to pee in your mouth oh well you got a freak on your
hands I'm sorry can you repeat that I want to whiz in your mouth. Whiz in your mouth? Are you a Harry Potter fan?
No.
So, can you understand urinating in a female's mouth?
That's a good question for R. Kelly.
Oh, dude.
Not for Theo and Brendan.
Not my bag, baby.
You had a real freak on your hand.
Just off the bat, dude was doing it?
That's that Boston bird bath right there, dog.
You know? That's that Jameson hitter bro that's that guinness in your mouth girl oh yeah that
new gold ale guinness in your mouth oh man that's that irish body wash dog you feel me dog that's
that new gatorade baby I don't know man
wow
I don't even know where to go with this
I think if you could test the urine and see
you know if there was a
someone had a litmus paper or something you could test
the urine real quick
if you chilled it it might be nice
I don't know I don't know where to go with this
oh my god bro
are you a Russian escort
you're drinking chilled piss out of somebody?
Yeah, bro.
They're international waters.
Yeah, they sure are.
Piss and a bees.
You know what I'm saying?
That's that Mike Posner song for you kids out there.
What?
What is going on?
I don't know.
You have an olive in there with it?
You're drinking chilled urine, bro.
That's what you're admitting to right now.
Sometimes they put one of those tequila worms in it.
Dude, that ain't.
That's in Mexico, am I right?
Hey, that's a tapeworm, dude.
If you're drinking chilled.
Might be a leech, bro.
Dude, hey, here's what I want to know.
Did she do it?
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
She didn't say.
Golden shower is probably a pass for me.
Again, if it's chilled, might be a different story.
Never had it.
Never been offered it.
Look, it's urine until you're in an avalanche, and then it's dang dick wine, you know?
It's body wine at that point.
If you're in an avalanche with somebody, dude, every ounce counts, bro.
Every drip counts.
body dude every every ounce counts every drip every drip counts you'd be serving you've you could fucking serve a family of four if you just had a fucking you know two bottles of uh niagara
or whatever that thing is well that sounded racist but uh i also you know wow bottle water
niagara i'm not familiar with that drip dude of uh water um here's the thing man i don't like
right now between i drink so much coffee,
when I gotta pee,
I gotta pee, dude.
Some girl asked me to piss,
you're getting Splash Mountain, girl.
My shit is a super soaker.
I'm knocking out teeth,
there's black eyes,
next thing you know,
I get arrested for peeing on girls.
That doesn't go over well in prison.
It's a terrible idea, man.
Yeah.
You feel me?
Look.
You look like you got that weak stream bro
yeah you're getting that sprinkler you're getting splash mountains that's what you say i also heard
that this is what i've heard you're also getting it's a small world after all brother okay that's
one thing i've heard all i'm saying is over here you're getting mr toad's wild ride okay mr toad's
wild ride that's not sexy at all come on where you getting that magic mountain
baby let's look at you been smoking again no you've been smoking no i have the black lung pop
no i haven't so so uh good luck with your parade look here's the thing if you're on drugs or
whatever i think
if you have a little that's fine ain't gonna kill you i don't think have a lot though i mean if you
have a half you know quarter cup or something or you know half a cup or whatever you guys are
partying that's what i'm saying chilled shots of piss chill it out no no no i don't think i should
be doing recipes and stuff where you're you know measuring it out and too much stuff that's being
the moment yeah that's a momentary action you know, measuring it out. That's being the moment.
Yeah.
That's a momentary action.
You know,
let's go to the culture corner.
See,
what do you guys do in your country?
You guys like splash mountain.
I like splash.
Wait,
when I pee in a girl's mouth,
man,
no.
Has your girl ever asked you?
No,
don't put his girl.
His girl is a human being that has to live the rest of her life.
I don't think we,
what if they're excited?
Actually,
she loves it.
That's her thing. That's like, okay.
And what if they break up in a year and then she has to
get a job two years from now? And be like, oh, hey!
Oh, is Boston like, I remain
from King's Sing? You're the piss girl!
Yes! That's exactly
what could happen. You're right. When you're
right, you're right. Dude, thanks for looking out
for me and her. Sorry, man.
But, I mean, it's up to you guys.
You could pee on someone in the shower
have you ever done that i've done that i've done that yeah in the shower yeah you never done that
either dude you're almost 29 it's time to start living you don't pee in the shower it's i don't
it's not right but all the fun thing about peeing on somebody in the shower is they don't know you're peeing on them. Yeah. They're just like, man, the water got warm all of a sudden.
It's pee-pee, baby.
Yeah.
People are like, yeah, they don't know.
They have shampoo in.
That's so funny.
Their eyes are closed.
Yeah, you pee on their back a little.
Your friend's like, what are you doing, bro?
Wait, what?
So those are college days, dude. What? You didn't go are college days dude
what you didn't go to college dude
is it a white thing to pee in the tub
cause I don't do that shit either
nobody pees in the tub
yeah my man does
it's so refreshing
I've done that
I love peeing outside too man
I love peeing straight up in the air and not even wondering where it lands at.
You know, in the holidays.
I'm cool with that, too, man.
From the holidays and stuff.
No on the whole pee thing in the mouth, though, Kat?
Oh, hell no.
Jesus, guys.
I don't want to hear this kind of stuff, man.
Kat, so no one's into it.
All right.
I don't want to hear this kind of stuff.
Well, she was into it.
I think if a woman is into it, if they discuss it with you or something or that,
you know, I think I think it's a spur of the moment type of thing.
I don't think you got, you know, people need to be planning ahead and, you know, drinking
a bunch of water the day before and all that kind of stuff.
That's crazy.
No asparagus.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can't have that.
I think it's a spur of the moment.
I would like a follow up, though.
Did you do it?
How'd it go?
The Irish will drink anything, too. Did she say the guy's Irish? Yeah, she said he was Irish. Oh-up, though. Did you do it? How'd it go? The Irish will drink anything, too.
Did she say the guy's Irish?
Yeah, she said he was Irish.
Oh, yeah, dude.
It's almost Scottish, bro.
Come on, bro.
It's almost Scottish, man.
What else we got?
Up next, we got Scott from Clinton, Connecticut.
Can we get out of this show?
You get one more.
Oh, this is the same guy from before.
What's up, Brendan?
What's up, Theo?
I'm in the St. Lawrence seaway in the upper canada
upper quebec what's this question no eyebrows thing for you whale watching
gang gang buzz buzz blow hole wow gang gang buzz buzz blow hole dude blow holes dude uh
thank you for reaching out from Quebec. Qua, brother.
Hell yeah, dog. You know what I'm saying?
Dude, there's nothing worse.
My family went whale watching.
We didn't see one fucking whale.
Saw your stepmom, I bet.
Out there for three hours.
Saw my grandma fucking jump off the side of the boat, dude.
I'm just joking, dude.
The guy's saying whale watching, or bad good for senior citizens i think
good for senior citizens something easy for them to do oh the whale you watch it basic calm
nothing to do sit there you don't have to talk that much not that exciting yeah i've seen it
too much on the internet on tv whales or whatever listen if it can't kill me whales are not whatever
that no if you can't kill me i don't give a a fuck. No, if it can't kill me, I don't give a fuck.
Now, if it's a great white popping up little seals
and shit, and it's like, do not go in the water.
Whales are God's
sea bass, brother. Okay, what I'm saying?
Whales are God's short bus, dude.
So are sea bass, though, you know?
You're
an idiot.
You're insane, dude.
You're an idiot, dude.
Dude, think about if you're an idiot or not.
Yup.
Okay?
Yup, bro.
I'm sorry, man.
I shouldn't have said that, man.
No, I'm doing all right, man.
I'm just having kind of a tough day.
I'm just a little bit tired.
I'm not tired, even.
I just want to say that.
Hey, when's it not a tough day for you?
You know?
Yeah.
When's it not?
Any day that ends in a Y is a struggle.
Hopefully one of these decades, you know?
Yeah.
I'm hoping to get a decade off one of these days
yeah I hope you do too man
maybe we should go whale watch and shut the fuck up
yeah actually it would probably be a good idea for me
it might be relaxing dude
just watch them
and that's it
did you see them you're like mhm
it's probably fun to harpoon them
now that's an Asian thing
is it
Japanese part of Asia fun to harpoon them. Now that's an Asian thing. Is it?
Japanese part of Asia.
But Japanese do kill whales.
They kill the fuck out of them.
Well, they're fish attackers, bro.
Don't they think their fins are like aphrodisiac?
Yeah.
They got extra dick in the fin.
But I'll say this.
I appreciate this guy sending this in.
This is also the guy who sent in the first video.
No one else noticed that?
Once again, detectives.
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
I think there's two white dudes in your races.
Really?
It's white-sism?
Yes.
Now, in the video, is there a whale?
No, I looked.
There was a whale in the video.
It looked like you just...
You guys are all fucking...
What's up, Brandon?
What's up, Theo?
I'm in the St. Lawrence Seaway in Upper Canada.
St. Lawrence.
Upper Quebec.
And I got a king of the stinger for you.
Whale watching.
Oh, there is one.
Gang, gang.
Wait, you called it or Derek called it?
I called it.
I didn't see it at all.
Derek is the...
You haven't been to his detective agency, dude?
No, they got shut down.
It's just two guys playing basketball against each other.
Okay.
No, it got shut down because they couldn't figure out how to unlock the door.
Dude, good call on the whale.
I didn't catch that first either.
How did you not catch it?
I was staring at his eyebrows.
He's on a boat in the St. Lawrence Channel.
Yeah.
Shout out to whales.
I whale watch.
Definitely slow and boring, but I'll king it.
I think you have to,
some things you go do
when you're older,
some things you go do
when you're younger.
If you have access
to whales right there,
bro, go look at them.
Go swim with them.
Yeah, it's like,
I like to go see the crab,
you know,
go see the crabs
sometimes in Louisiana
because they're right there.
But if you,
otherwise,
do old stuff later.
You know,
you can make a puzzle later.
I ain't making a puzzle now that much. I'll make a small puzzle but i ain't making a 60 000 piece puzzle
you know yeah your crossword to you over 60. well i mean you could do a crossword if you want
to stay busy but don't be doing it all day don't do a 6 000 word any graham crackers yeah king at
whale watching it's an age thing. Nice.
Last one, boys.
This is Erin.
God, it's the longest show of all time.
Erin got a set of lips on her.
Hi, Theo.
Hi, Brendan.
She said me first.
I'm going to sting it for you.
She's not on Xanny at all. I'm going to sting your legs.
She's awesome.
She's my favorite person.
I quit.
Oh, come on, Big Brown.
That wasn't kind of hot?
Big Brown, get back in there, dude.
No.
Well, no, dude.
Let's see that hair leg again.
Is it real hair on there?
Or is it edited in?
That was real.
Could be edited in.
Hi, Brendan.
God, I can't understand it for you.
Girls with hairy legs.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Is that considered a lot of hair?
Let's go to the culture corner.
More hair than my leg.
I'm asking them, Brendan.
I feel you.
Definitely more hair than my leg, too.
But I'm with it, girl.
I'm with it.
You like that?
I don't know why.
It's just the fact that she did it so fucking hot.
You would let your girl grow hair out?
Well, yeah.
She can do what she wants. Really? Yes, she, I mean, yeah, she can do what she want.
Really?
Yeah, she can. She doesn't, but I mean, she doesn't.
She's all shaved up.
But if she did, if she had this kind of confidence with it, I'd be with it.
That was sexy.
What up, Aaron?
I am so irate right now.
Kat, you're not hairy at all just in general, right?
No, Asians really don't grow hair like that.
But I get where
she's coming from because it takes forever to shave your legs so i don't blame her but i don't
like hairy legs personally but bernie you have to imagine you're making love to a woman and you get
to hold on to her legs and they have hair on them you know but also imagine it's real cold outside
okay no just not it's such a hard no for me yeah it's a no outside. Okay. No, just not.
It's such a hard no for me.
Yeah, it's a no for me too.
I think if you...
It makes you feel sick, physically ill.
Let's see one more time.
Make sure that it's hair on there.
She's not a hairy person.
Look at her stomach.
Look at her armpits.
Do not judge her, Brendan.
Now, I'll say...
Wait, hold on.
Play this again.
Is that her leg, dude?
Are we getting duped?
Hi, Theo.
Hi, Brendan.
Oh, dude, you should be a detective.
Girls with hairy legs.
No, that's her leg.
No, no, no, no.
Hold up.
Hold up.
Play it again.
Theo's on to something.
Hold on.
Play it again.
Because she's not a hairy person.
Look at her other leg.
Pause it when you see both legs.
Pause.
Go a little more.
Does she go any more?
Do we see any more of that other leg?
Man, I don't think that's her leg.
I think Theo's right.
Because her other leg doesn't even move. This thigh's not hairy either.
It's not just the calves is where it comes in.
That looks like a man's leg to me.
That might be a man.
Dude, is the dress blue or is the dress
a zebra? You know, what's that thing
that always happens?
Yeah, you're right.
We might have to put this one out to see what people.
You might have to put this on so Shmiya can't say, is this her leg?
Because there's a couple of things going on here.
First of all, she seemed like a beautiful young lady and everything like that.
Super pretty.
Second of all, she takes care of like her teeth and everything so much.
You know, she looks like taken care of like her teeth and everything so much you know she she looks like taken care of
she have on i think some spray tanner or hand tanner where you rub tanner into your body yeah
look at her tummy yeah and then also look at her hand when her hand comes in it looks like it has
some of that brown like tanner rub on it you know that uh it's almost like the that jerk chicken
stuff you put on but you put it on your body, you know? That Cajun rub?
Seasoning.
Yeah.
But women put it on them to look kind of like brown at night
or brown during the day,
and then it gets all over your sheets sometimes.
Yeah, chocolate body.
Yeah, chocolate body.
So I just don't know if this leg looks like a woman's leg.
Because it's not as tan as the rest of her body either.
Well, her hand's fucking white, isn't it?
Can you go out?
Is there any more to pull down or scroll up or down on this video itself?
Is this?
We got that hairy leg gate right now.
I'd like the fans.
Maybe she could stand in another video.
Is there any hair on the armpit?
There's some hair in that armpit, man.
Ooh.
A little stubble, though.
Is that stubble, though, or is that actual hair?
That's the full whiskers, man. No. Zoom in. We probably canble, though. Is that stubble, though, or is that actual hair? That's a full whiskers, man.
No.
Zoom in.
We probably can't, huh?
God.
Somebody can.
We're.
Oh, no, no, no.
Her armpit's hairy.
That's hairy.
I'm out.
I'm out, man.
You know how you get disgusted about butt sex and cum and shit?
This makes me disgusted.
And I don't want to be part of this.
What did you say all of that?
I was having a good day.
I was having a good day as well.
No, you weren't.
Now, some girls have a condition.
Like one of Charles Manson's family members who committed some of those murders had a condition.
Her legs were hairy as shit.
Yeah.
Who cares, dude?
They murdered a bunch of people.
She's saying she had hairy legs.
It's the only other person I've known to have hairy legs.
Yeah, that doesn't mean that they should be allowed to murder you're right dude when you're right you're right
i don't trust any girl with hairy legs i don't trust you dude after that you should have hair
on my arms what does that mean i can fucking choke out the new white camera guy huh or luis
with the fake name over there yeah i'm not buying that at all. With that fake party. Look forward to it.
Bring your own girls and bears.
Sounds like a riot, bro.
Come to the party, dude. I'm throwing a party
at your house. Bring your own shit.
Bring your own girls.
You just want to bait us there and then fucking scalp
the white man. I know what's going on here, brother.
I know what's going on, dude. Kill me with a fucking arrow.
Dude,
what does she want relationship advice
girls with hairy legs
i'm out there you can stay sting wow on a very special king at her sting it
can't handle it no hairy hairy girls i can't makes me sick i'm gonna go to hell probably
i've made a lot of poor choices in my life.
You're already half there, brother.
I knew my legs felt warm.
You got any dates coming up, man?
That ruined my day.
What do you got?
I don't feel like doing comedy anymore.
I'm going to be December 26th.
I'm going to be in Lafayette, Louisiana the day after Christmas.
Going home for the holidays and doing a show after?
Doing a show out there.
We're going to do a fundraiser too.
Some of the proceeds are going to Good Fight Foundation,
Dustin Poirier's charity.
You got that?
That's what we're doing out there.
What do you mean some?
2% is going to his charity and then the rest,
obviously I'm going to take home.
Wow, some? I'm going to give some and then the rest, obviously I'm going to take home. Wow, some?
I'm going to give some of the money.
With proceeds going.
Some though.
We don't know the cost of the fucking thing.
Some of them.
Now you got to get yours, bro.
No, fuck you.
So yeah, we're doing
we are doing
I'm doing a show
at the
in Lafayette
Louisiana
December 26
and
tickets on sale
theovan.com
slash tour
and then December 10th
at the Wiltern
here in Los Angeles
downtown
that's gonna be fun man
if I'm in town
I'm gonna go for sure
are you?
yeah hell yeah
you might have to
jump up there dog
yeah dog
that'd be fun that'd be cool that'm in town, I'm going to go for sure. Are you? Yeah, hell yeah. Dude, you might have to jump up there, dog. Yeah, dog. That'd be fun.
That'd be cool, huh?
That'd be cool, man.
I'm at the Ice House Thursday night.
This comes out Thursday.
Job and friends.
And then...
Uninvited.
So I'll be at home.
I didn't think you'd do it.
I'll be at home.
Do it.
Well, then do it.
I'll be at home.
Do it.
Watching these videos again.
That's what I thought.
Just wondering if the woman has hair on her legs.
I already knew you'd say no. That's what I thought. Just wondering if the woman has hair on her legs. I already knew you'd say no.
That's what I thought.
Thursday night, Ice House, but November, I'm in Dallas in Salt Lake City.
Get your tickets.
And King of the Sting tour may be coming to you live.
I can't ask Brendan about it anymore to sit and put the tour dates together.
Oh, God.
We're figuring it out.
Well.
Part of the proceeds will go to Theo.
I'm out.
I'm out.