The Golden Hour - Episode 45: Hat Fishing
Episode Date: November 14, 2019The guys talk Dark Nut Butter, JFK, Conspiracy Theories, Ethnic Experiences, Hat Fishing, Sand Urban's, 50 Shades of Sand, Bungee Jumping vs Sky Diving, Singing Like Stephen Hawki...ng, Carl Weathers Theory, Pastor P and much more!*Please enter your "Who's More Likely?" videos submissions to kingandthesting@gmail.com1. Postmates - download the app and save with code KATS20192. Stance - https://stance.com/kats 3. Mack Weldon - https://mackweldon.com/ enter promo code: KATS4. UNTUCKit - https://untuckit.com/ promo code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I don't know how much Derek's willing to make that we're going to be able to sell it wholesale.
That nut butter.
Dude, imagine dark nut butter.
Chocolate nut butter.
I enjoy it. It's not chocolate, dude. It, imagine dark nut butter. Chocolate nut butter. I enjoy it.
It's not chocolate, dude.
It's the same as ours, but I'm just saying it comes out of more of like a, you know,
I would say more of a Brazilian nut.
I would assume that's what Derek probably has.
Just think of a nice king of sting nut butter.
Now take what you want with that.
Do you think it feels the same if you're a black guy that ejaculates or an Asian guy
or if you're like a
Japanese guy? Probably different for everyone,
you know. Well, I know it could be different
for everyone. Yeah, I know that.
God. But I'm saying, do you
think it's different feeling
for different ethnicities? Oh, yeah.
You do? Oh, yeah. Black guys
bust the hardest. Yeah. Well,
first of all, you don't know. You only know how
you bust, dude. Okay? You only know how you bust, dude. Okay?
You only know how you bust and how the girl you have kidnapped in your basement keeps accepting it.
It's a big sample pool, you know?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, Derek.
If you're going to just keep somebody in your basement accepting sex all the time, you should move to Cleveland, bro.
Because that seems to be a popular area for that.
They allow it out there.
Shout out Indians, dude.
But no, I'm just saying, really, Brendan,
why don't you think about stuff more often?
Yeah, you might be right, dude.
You're just sitting around busting nuts
and not even thinking about how other people feel when they do it?
Yeah, you're right, man.
You're right.
I don't even consider it.
Really?
Nope, not once.
Wow.
Yeah, sometimes I'll dress up in different outfits or something when I'm going to ejaculate.
Put a wig on?
I won't do a wig.
Really?
Yeah.
I think he's a wig guy.
It cuts off my circulation.
I can't think as hard if I have a tight wig on my head.
But I will do different outfits or something to make me feel like more regional or, you know, like
I'm from a certain area or.
You put a mask on?
No.
I never done a mask.
Just like a Hawaiian tropical shirt if you're Maui.
Oh, I've done.
No, not for, I don't dress for where I am.
I dress for who I imagine to be.
So I'll dress, you know, I'll put on like a lot of different, you know, I might have
like if I'm going to imagine that I'm somebody, you know, that's maybe from Guam or something.
Where's Guam?
Can you look that up also?
I like to put on a sleeveless vest.
Uh-huh.
And I think I'm in the 80s action movie like Commando in Jacket Hard with leather gloves.
What, dude?
Bro, at that point.
Dude, we're just spitballing ideas here, I thought.
You're right.
Actually, that's a pretty good idea.
So what I'm saying, though, is that you, but you sound more like a chauffeur.
You're basically just a chauffeur for your own wiener, dude.
What I'm talking about is someone who, I'm talking about having a ethnic experience, Brendan.
I'm not talking about occupational.
You're dressing up like, what'd you say again?
What'd you put on?
Like Commando, the bad guy in Commando always had sleeveless shirts on.
It was really, I think it was more of a fishnet chain link sleeveless shirt, and he had gloves
on, like Big Jay Orkison.
gloves on, like Big J. Orkison.
Big J. Orkison is a whale, I think,
that
got busted in one of those videos.
Did you see that down in black? That's who I picture
myself as when I'm jacking.
That guy's
so gangster. Well,
if you stop at the first part of that word, that
dude is, well, if you separate the two words
into one thing, that dude is a
gangster, bro. That dude will, well, if you separate the two words into one thing, that dude is a gangster, bro.
That dude will show up with six guns, set them all on the side of your bed, and bang the shit out of you, bro.
If you're a nude man, because that man.
If you're a nude man.
And make sure, don't, and I want us to put in decent pictures of this guy.
Don't, a lot of times we put in a picture that doesn't even reference the guy correctly.
If you see this man, this dude is, yes.'s uh yeah that's right is his name bennett i believe his name's bennett let's
see yeah this guy works for the boys and girls club of america but often ask them if they could
just leave the girls let's just say that he gave our of all he could handle bennett was his name
played by vernon wells hell wow vernon wells dude who invented um i think you were like Let's just say that. Dude, he gave Arnold all he could handle. Bennett was his name? Mm-hmm. Played by Vernon Wells.
Hell yeah.
Oh, wow.
Vernon Wells, dude, who invented, I think he wrote like 10,000 Leagues Under the Sea
or something.
Yeah, I like to picture myself as him, though, is the point, man.
Well, that guy's a white guy, though, with a mustache.
But he's a bad guy in the 80s.
Huh?
He's a bad guy in the 80s.
Okay, so you're saying you were willing to have a...
It's like back to the future.
A sexual, sensual, kind of a 3D virtual experience of your own.
In Commando.
But you go into more like a bad guy or ran into a bank, and now...
Yep.
Am I allowed to ejaculate?
Yeah, and if it's real special, I'll think of Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man.
You have the... Dude, I thought we're spitballing are we live we're going i thought we're i've been live for a long time bro i thought we're
spitballing you are a figurine bro you are pretty much probably your parents are mattel
dude it is a strawberry summer my man it. It's strawberry summer. Wow.
We had a great conversation when Brendan bails it out because he sees something on a shirt.
Yeah, dude.
You have strawberries all over your shirt.
Yeah, this is a really nice shirt, Brendan.
It is.
You look nice, man.
And I'll say, actually, this is from a company called Breakfast Shirts in Australia.
And they make shirts that are just to be worn at breakfast.
And this is actually my breakfast.
This is coffee.
I haven't had anything yet. You can only wear that. Yeah, you can't really wear that for dinner. Look at is actually my breakfast, this coffee. I haven't had anything yet.
You can't really wear that for dinner.
Look at this, got this jersey. Celtics 23.
Alright.
Huh? I don't know where you get your clothes, dude. The Celtics fucking jersey,
dude? That's no Boston Celtic jersey
I've ever seen. You don't think so? Let me see the back.
Look at this, bitch.
Oh, interesting.
No, I'm not familiar with that at all.
23, huh?
It's a very confusing jersey.
Covington, Louisiana, city champs, bro.
Is that an official Boston Celtics jersey?
I don't know how official it is.
I mean, I think they would recognize it if you brought it up to them.
I don't think so because just the T works on that shirt.
Dude, first of all, I won the city championship in Covington, Louisiana in this shirt right here.
What points did you score?
When I was 12 years old, probably about 14 points, I bet.
Good game.
Solid game.
A lot of rebounds.
Seven travels, dude.
I would travel all the time, bitch.
You know what I'm saying, dude?
But also, let it go.
Hey, refs, let it go.
Let us play ball, bro.
Dude, let us ball.
After the third travel, bro, you know what I'm saying?
You look like you'd be the kid that'd come in and just foul the other kids really hard.
No, dude, I was really, they put me in for defense a lot of times.
They put me in a lot of times.
They would tell me no offense sometimes.
Sometimes they would even make me stay at one end of the court
while the other four guys went to play offense.
That's fair.
I had a kid score 80 points on me.
His name was Jason Williams. He went on to play real. That's fair. I had a kid score 80 points on me. His name was Jason Williams.
He went on to play real time.
He scored 80 points.
He scored 40 on my best friend.
And then my coach went, we got to switch it up.
Shab, you get him.
I'll take it from here.
And then he just busted my ass.
80 points.
You took 40.
I took 40.
Best friend took 40.
That's pretty cool.
Two white guys coming, one black guy.
Jason Williams is white, isn't he?
Wrong Jason Williams. It's a black Jason Williams.
This is a black Jason Williams. The one that went to Duke?
Let's untangle this Jason Williams thing.
There's Jason Williams played for
the Bulls. White Cheddar, that boy. You're thinking white
chocolate who played for the Sacramento
Kings and his son's
a super little white chocolate.
Is he really? Yeah, like an N1 kind of white chocolate.
But then Jason Williams played for Duke, drove a motorcycle, screwed up his knee, and now
he's an analyst for ESPN.
And then Jason Williams, who busted my ass for 80 points from Prairie Middle School,
is in Aurora, Colorado.
Yeah.
So, whoa, bro.
So nobody even fucking knows this dude that beat you?
I don't know what he's doing now, but he was a stellar middle school player.
This is middle school.
You know what it feels like to have another kid bust 80 points on your ass in middle school?
I have to go back to school the next day, bro.
What?
I have to go back to school the next day.
Yeah, you have to go back to school the next day.
It's middle school.
You know what that feels like?
Shout out to the Roy Hills Mustangs.
Mustangs, bro.
Stang, stang.
Yeah, bro.
Jesus.
So some dude with, dude, middle school is when they have wooden backboards, bro.
Remember that shit?
Dude, 80.
Backboard was fucking wood.
And sometimes the thing, like the thing where they drew like the square, something would
be a rectangle.
Circle.
Yeah. And there'd be chain.
The net was chain.
Jesus, bro.
Some dude we don't even know beat you.
At least get beat by a decent person, man.
Dude, who knows what he went on to do.
80 points and some brand new J's.
Old Jordan 4s still terrorize me to this day.
Really?
You wish 4s around me, man?
I have flashbacks.
Swish.
Boo.
Wow, man.
Another sport you couldn't handle, bro.
Unbelievable. Basketball's not
for me, bro. Basketball's not
for me. It sure isn't. Shout out to this. Somebody
sent us this, huh? That's pretty cool. Pop
some bottles. This king in the sting.
It doesn't have to be alcohol, because I know you don't drink alcohol.
You could pop Mexican Coca-Cola with that.
Maybe I should bring it home to my family.
Yeah, you should.
How about these asses in my household brought Mexican Sprite?
You ever heard of that?
Oh, yeah.
Sprite.
Sprite.
Yeah, Sprite, boy.
That's the Sprite.
Give me that.
Give me that.
Mexican Coca-Cola.
Give me that Sprite, huh? Oh, I want the Coca-Cola, but the white one. Yeah, it all tastes like. The Sprite, homes. Give me the Sprite. Mexican Coca-Cola. Give me the Sprite, huh?
Oh, I want the Coca-Cola, but the white one.
Yeah, it all tastes like.
The Sprite.
It all tastes exactly the same.
It all tastes exactly the same.
Oh, Coca-Cola Blanco.
They kept saying pass the Mexican Coca-Cola.
I went pass the white cola, bro.
Yeah.
Pass the white cola.
But shout out City Champs, dude.
We won this, bro.
Won it in this jersey, bro.
27 years ago, I won that shit, bro. Gang shit, dude. That's fucking cool. And we used to have to paint in this, dude. We won this, bro. Won it in this jersey, bro. 27 years ago I won that shit, bro. Gang shit,
dude. And we used to have to paint
in this, bro. We'd have to go work for our coach
before the game's in paint. I like your style. And then we get
out there. A little work ethic. Get the
cardio up. I like how it still
fits exactly the same. Dude, we had a
guy on our team who had to be 31 years old, too.
There's always one of those. Yeah. This guy
had a big clearance, dude. Dude, did you ever
have kids in middle school that could dunk?
Yeah.
God, it was a good one.
We had one kid named Kirby, bro, and they used to call him Quiet was his name because he never said anything, bro.
He wasn't deaf, but he was just kind of verbally lazy, you know?
Yeah.
And, dude, nobody thought he could do anything, read, or do anything.
And then one day he fucking dunked, bro, from no joke, bro.
He dunked from like probably
almost a three-point line bro yeah like yeah bro it was so amazing he started crying after people
were crying because he knows the pussy's gonna get after the bitches see that no no dunk a
basketball in middle school no it wasn't anything about pussy brendan it was that he finally done
something positive or he'd done something that he felt good about.
Or he's going to get the fuck out of what shitty neighborhood he grew up in.
What?
Because he's going to be getting NBA contracts.
No, no, no.
He didn't get any NBA contracts, dude.
He never even.
Did he join the N1 circuit?
Is his name Earthquake?
Bring up Earthquake for me because this is who I think you're referring to.
I fucking knew it, dude.
Kirby.
You grew up with Earthquake.
This boy named Kirby Martin, bro. Kirby Puck and shout out kirby martin brothers dude and he had nobody and one
basketball kirby pocket can you dig it his name also might have been escalade you know what his
name's escalade oh big yeah kirby turned into escalade but the last thing you need is another
vehicle dude all right yeah you ain't lying, bro. Jesus Christ. There he is.
Yeah, is that Kirby?
Does that look like him?
Go the one
down where he's trying to do a
Yeah, there's Kirby. Fuck yeah.
That man's dead now, I think.
That boy could hoop.
Could he, though? Or could he just take pictures when he was
in a jersey?
That's what it looks like.
Dude, watch your mouth around Escalade, bro.
He could drop some dimes.
What's he going to do, dude?
Fucking double park near the hoop?
This guy.
This guy fucking couldn't parallel park a three-pointer if you gave him two hours worth of quarters and a meter.
Remember there was white chocolate, there was hot sauce, Escalade.
Half man, half amazing.
Yeah, I remember him.
Did you watch any of that N1 stuff?
Remember N1 was big.
Who was Dragon Boy?
Remember that guy?
He was from a neighboring town by us, bro.
And I swear to God, dude, he would lay up on the road when it was hot after it rained
and fucking let the sun hit his stomach.
Fuck, yeah, like a lizard.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
And they call him the dragon boy.
The dragon.
And he could double dribble, bro.
Yeah, point is, those refs in middle school, just let the kids play, man.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
What refs, brothers and sisters?
What refs?
It's you and a couple of other fucking thick boys fucking milling around after school,
dude.
Nah, you're talking about that street ball?
No, I'm talking about you guys at fucking whatever it was,
Priority Catholic fucking middle school or wherever you guys were.
Aurora Hills, bro.
Yeah, Aurora.
What was yours?
Hills, bro, sounds nice, dude.
Okay?
Not nice.
No windows, bro.
No windows.
No Hills Middle School.
No Hills.
Okay?
The Young Gunners, dude.
And actually, you know who went to our middle school?
And I talked about this in my comedy special a while back, but
Lee Harvey Oswald, bro.
L.A. Choke gang shit, bro.
You feel me, son? How about the fucking
12-year-old city champs?
What alumni? Wow, dude.
The Young Gunners was our fucking team for about 16
years and then they shut it down.
Damn, I want my new jersey
of Lee Harvey Oswaldwald they might have it
bro you believe he actually shot the president you believe in the conspiracy theory with that
look i went there i kind of spaced it out myself i kind of paced it out i did a little bit of
you know i wouldn't say investigation but i did use a tape measure while i was there
um did you go did you go to the window in the library? I went up there. I went from the window to the wall, dog.
To the window.
I'll tell you this.
To the wall.
To the wall.
Lee Harvey bust that wall.
I'm in Dallas this weekend, bro.
I'm in Dallas this weekend.
You bet your ass I'm going to do it again.
Wow.
I can't get enough of it, bro.
Shout out to Lee Harvey Oswald, man.
L.A. show, bro.
Some people call him a fucking traitor.
I think he was a goddamn hero.
Whoa.
Dude, even black people ain't riding with you on this.
Let's go to Derek for how you guys feel.
JFK for life, dog.
Gang shit.
How we roll, bro.
I love JFK, but there's a big conspiracy theory on Lee Harvey Oswald.
If you look into it, if you look into it, if you look into it, he didn't do it himself, man.
There's some shady business going on.
CIA, bro.
Get Sam Tripoli up in this bitch.
Spit some fucking knowledge in your guy's ass.
Knowledge?
I agree.
Sam has a lot of interesting things happening inside of his brain.
And, look, I'm not saying he's wrong, bro.
I don't trust any of these cats, dude.
I don't know who did it, but I think you need to go there and do some of the work, man.
I went to the place where he stayed at.
I went to the room.
You can go to the room.
I went there too, bro.
Did you really?
Yeah.
The house where he stayed in, we rented a little room there.
Yeah, you went there?
Hell yeah.
Fuck yeah, dude.
I hid something under the bed there.
Yeah, me too.
I itched my name
under the fucking headrest.
Did you really?
Yeah, the board
said B-Shob was here.
Gang, gang, shot, shot.
Jesus, man.
Yeah, it's interesting though, man.
Shout out to Dallas.
I'd say shout out to JFK,
but that's...
That's too much.
Dude, I can't believe you went to your school.
It makes a lot of sense. LHO, bro.
Gang shit, man.
That dude, yeah.
A lot of little rumors around town about him.
But yeah, man.
These are awesome. This thing came from Native, so
just want to shout out this company. I didn't even know that they sent us this.
Me neither. We should get one of these. We're going to come up with a new
merch shop, and we should get some of these in it, you think?
Yeah, we should. They work good. They're dope, huh?
They do? Pop them bottles.
And how do you guys feel? Let's get a
Vietnamese piece on
JFK. What do you guys think about him, Kat?
Honestly, I've never
given him much thought until this moment.
Well, welcome to
America because
he's something we think about. He's something when you're growing up, you think about him from time to time. Would you, Theo. Because he's something we think about.
He's something when you're growing up, you think about him from time to time.
Would you agree with that, Derek?
Absolutely.
He said the most stylish president we've ever had bust a ton of nuts on the road.
Marilyn Monroe, he's the best president we've ever had.
Him and Marilyn Monroe used to date, actually.
They have a place that, no joke, is probably about nine blocks from here, right on Ocean Park.
What?
Right on Ocean Park, where Ocean Park and Pacific right there meet.
And they had a bar that they used to go to all the time.
That's pretty cool.
Pretty cool.
That's far.
JFK.
Marilyn Monroe with them dangerous curves.
Like the original.
What do you guys think about Marilyn Monroe?
Does she have any cat in your world?
Is she just a thought?
What was she? To me, she she just a thought? What was she?
To me, she's just a thought that's fucking waiting for some sunburn.
That's all I really think about that bitch.
In our culture, we kind of see her as a geisha.
She's like the American geisha, you know?
Very pretty, does sexual things for people high in power.
A lot of girls love to use her quotes as captions for their inspiration, MySpace captions, Instagram captions.
Dude, she would suck her way to the top.
And good for her.
Good for her.
Yeah, got a lot of big roles for it.
She's the first kind of one with curves.
That's true.
You love the boys crazy.
I'm not disrespecting her.
I'm just saying.
Dude, milkshakes bringing all the boys to the yard. Damn right. That's Keisha,, I don't— And you're over the boys. Crazy. I don't—I'm not disrespecting her. I'm just saying— Dude, milkshake's bringing all the boys to the yard.
Damn right.
That's Keisha, bro.
Damn right.
In front of the yard.
That's Keisha, you delinquent.
Better get—
Dude, but Marilyn Monroe was the first one to do it.
I just wonder—
And then Harvey Weinstein just took it over the top, but there's a lot of people out there like this.
Yeah, Harvey Wienerstein, bro.
That dude will fucking—or Wiener Steer.
That dude will steer his wiener right at you.
Yeah, then put you in Batman 2, so sign me the fuck up.
Bro, here's the thing, though.
A lot of ugly dudes were complaining about that shit.
It's all ugly dudes getting busted, you know what I'm saying?
It's real ugly dudes with power and then real hideous women also complaining.
You don't see no fine chick complaining.
You don't see the new superhero chick going, oh, this is
ridiculous. She's like, shit, I gave him a hand
job. Now I'm fucking Marvel.
You know what I'm saying?
I don't know about that part, but I do
know that one
lady, I think Rose McGowan or something, the lady
from Titanic or whatever,
she got busted.
She's in the craft, right? I don't know,
dude, but she fucking used to
she banged one, she fucking drug one of my dudes in a hotel room.
And over there, yeah, this lady, Rosa Thug Rose.
Hold up.
This is the original Thug Rose.
Now, she used to be Hollywood's little black rose.
She used to be bad.
Really?
The black magic tits.
Go to her when she was, dude, when she was with Marilyn Manson she was on that good good dude before she got all crazy over dicks she was dope
yeah this is drug rose I think they call her now because she might be on drugs because she's a
bummer rose yeah because she looks a little bit like thug rose if you look at her yeah body's a
little different but when she shaved her head she, I see what you're saying there.
What do you mean you see what I'm saying?
Can we get a picture of Thug Rose and Drug Rose up here, bro?
How do you see what I'm saying?
Because they both have shaved heads.
Because they both fucking look similar.
You think?
Oh, I feel you.
Yes.
Same lips.
What?
Same, very similar-ness.
Yeah, you're right.
All right, I'll give you that, Doug.
I'll give you that.
I'd take Thug Rose over Drug Rose any day, dude.
Right now, yes.
What I'm saying is Drug Rose.
Not in 1998.
She banged a couple dudes I know over there at that hotel over there off Sunset.
She banged all the dudes and started complaining.
Yeah, and then she complained people's fucking people.
Yeah, use one of the people.
Use the main people.
Yeah.
You know when that started, this riot. Yeah, well, she complained people's fucking people. Yeah, use one of the people. Use the main people. Yeah. You know when that started, this riot.
Yeah, well, I don't know.
I mean, she definitely was fucking people for no reason.
You know what I'm saying?
Which is what most people are doing.
Yeah.
It's called a good time.
Yeah, I think she was just upset about maybe some of her career or something.
But I would watch them fight, bro.
Put all my money on thug rows over drug rows.
Yeah, all day, dog.
Well, let's get into this shit, dude.
I don't know where we're at.
Shout out to Mal Madison.
Well, I was just trying to be accepting of other cultures
by saying sometimes I try and have an experience.
Dude, and I was trying to relate to you,
and I said, yeah, me too.
Sometimes I like to think I'm back in the 80s
and jack off to bad guys in 80 movies.
Very similar.
No, it's not very similar.
And then you brought up how much you're in love
with Harvey Lee Oswald.
Okay.
That would be HLO, and that's not him.
Harvey Lee Oswald is no one.
That's nobody.
At least respect the man and respect his work, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
He changed history, didn't he?
I don't know what he did, bro, but I'll tell you this, man.
If you go to the window where it happened.
Been there.
You better be doing three months of yoga and be really good with a gun to be able to pull these shots off.
Dude, you better be Bradley Cooper, an American sniper.
Yeah.
And especially the old gun he used.
Come on, bro.
I ain't buying none of that shit.
Yeah, he had a gun.
I think he had to put gasoline in the bottom of it.
No, he had like a musket.
He had to do this and then this.
Aim small, miss small, dude.
I don't think Mel Gibson could have fucking hit that shot, dude.
But who knows, man?
I'm not buying it.
More will be revealed.
See you this weekend, Dallas.
Oh, damn, bro.
There's people from your show in Dallas.
Damn.
Wow, already? This thing predicts the future. Oh, damn, bro. There's people from your show in Dallas. Damn. Wow.
This thing predicts the future.
Let's get into something entertaining.
Derek, please.
Absolutely, buddy.
Jesus, I'm tired of this racism by fucking Brendan over here.
I want to start talking about sexual experiences culturally,
and he goes back to him and some other fucking chub boy
getting fucking blasted on for 40 points by some dude that works at a fucking Jiffy Lube now.
Get your life together.
You were pajama juice, you fuck.
First, we got a debate club.
This is FGTRTD.
Didn't give his full name.
What?
RTD?
Named after that little, yeah.
Oh, wow.
This guy's in a wheelchair.
I'm sorry, man.
Hello. Hello.
My question is for the debate club section.
I want to know, do you guys like the fucking, you know,
new age fucking flatters, flathead, the flatheads, you know?
Yeah, I get it.
Or the fucking old school, throw it back on them.
What's that, Bruce?
Gang gang.
That Chris Kyle gang shit.
Piru.
Su-woop gang.
Oh, that's a legit gang.
Yeah.
Piru.
What is that?
That's a... That's a blunt.
That's a blunt.
It's a blunt.
Let's go to Derek for that.
Derek, can you get us into that?
Can you translate that, please?
This dude better fucking be safe out there, bro.
Where are you from?
That's a crazy thing to say out loud.
What's he saying there, Derek?
Can we play the end part again, and will you translate that for us?
You got it, brother.
School.
Throw it back on him.
Gang, gang.
Piru.
Suwuk gang.
Suwuk gang.
Now, what does that say?
Derek, we're talking to Derek, Brendan.
Piru is definitely a blood-affiliated gang.
And in Sioux, you know, that's like their bird call.
That's their, like, brr.
You know, like, that's their Sioux.
And what if they're doing hiking or something?
Like, what do you mean?
Or if you needed to just, you know, get a member.
Let's say you needed to get a gang member from across the street's attention,
but you didn't want to say his name.
They go, Kiki!
Sioux, it's a Mexican.
And you couldn't text them? There's not a lot of text or anything? I mean, sometimes, yeah, but you never know want to say his name. They go, Kiki! And you couldn't text them?
There's not a lot of text or anything?
I mean, yeah, but you never know with service these days.
And then who's...
It might be T-Mobile.
Burner phones.
Yeah.
People changing their numbers.
Yeah.
You know.
Cricket, wireless.
Well, thank you for that translation.
Of course, Brian.
Thank God you're here.
The flat bill is tough for me.
I got a wide head, so it's tough for me to pull off the flat bill.
The widest.
And also, white guy in the flat bill, it's okay.
It's not as – black guy, you can put anything on a black guy's head.
They look good.
They look cool.
Especially when you – black guys, when they tilt to the side, it's like barely –
have you ever seen Jay-Z?
It's like, dude, that thing's going to fall off with a strong blow of a wind.
He looks bad
no matter what he has on, though.
He's never really been a handsome guy.
Black guys can pull those hats off
where it's like just barely hanging.
Barely, yeah.
White guy, he can't do that.
Oh, black guy,
you'll see a hat
and then tied to a string
about 11 feet away
tied to the back of his head
and it'll still look cool.
It looks really dope.
You're like, damn,
he's got that shit.
where white guys,
they really fold the bills like a goddamn MLB scout.
Very organized, yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Because that's what its purpose is for, to block the goddamn sun, isn't it?
Yeah, that's true.
So black guys, a lot of skin cancer, a lot of sugar issues.
I've seen a black guy with a hat on and then like this to block the sun.
Yeah, and upset about all of it.
And like, God, this thing sucks. Dude, lower the hat. Yeah, you got to use that. of it. I'm like, God, this thing sucks.
Dude, lower the hat.
Yeah, you got to use the hat.
Figure it out, bro.
What's he got the hat on?
You got to use the hat.
People forgetting the use for the hat.
Kat, what do you see when you see different men
in these different hats?
How does that come across to you?
I think it depends.
Some men, I think, look good in hats,
but you have to be careful as a woman if you're dating
because there's this thing called hat fishing
where he may look really good when he wears a hat, but he have to be careful as a woman if you're dating. Because there's this thing called hat fishing, where he may
look really good when he wears a hat, but
he takes it off, and you realize he has a fucked up
hairline.
Hat fishing, huh?
Hat fishing.
Oh, hat fishing, like cat fishing.
Hat fishing.
We should do a show called Cat Fishing where we go fishing with you,
Cat.
Do you like to fish or not? Dude, I have never gone fishing. We should do a show called Catfishing where we go fishing with you, Cat. Yeah, that's so funny.
Do you like to fish or not?
Dude, I have never gone fishing.
Keep touching me.
Then that'd be the best fucking show ever, then.
The best show ever.
And we just cat...
No, we go...
I think it's called...
Yodeling?
And we put our hands into the catfish.
Noodling.
Yeah.
Yodeling's yodeling.
Yeah.
But noodling, you put your hands balls deep in the catfish and get them out of the tunnel.
Don't they bite you?
Not if you hit it right.
Not if you hit it right.
Get it right.
Get it tight.
You in?
I am not in any.
I'm not even in this conversation.
That's how not in I'm in.
That's fair.
It's a very New Orleans thing.
It's a very New Orleans thing.
It's an Oklahoma type of thing where they do the catfish.
No, it's not, dude. Where they do the catfishing, bro.
No, it's not, dude.
Where they do the noodling?
Oklahoma doesn't have catfish.
We catchin' bitches, yo.
Bro, dude, the recipes are so good in Louisiana, a lot of the fish show up just to get involved
in the fuckin' pot, bro.
Saying, cook me, bro.
Yeah, dog.
You'll see a fish with a tattoo on his fin that says, grill me up, MF-er.
Yeah, that's fair.
You're like, damn, he got that tat, bro.
Deep fry it, baby.
Gang shit, dude.
Yeah, look at these dudes.
And this is another way to meet semi-nude men if you look at some of these photos.
West Virginia, makes sense.
Oh, yeah.
Look at that guy.
I mean, if this ain't dude.
Dude, look at the size of them.
For you to put one of these pictures on Tinder, it's a rat, dog.
Damn, look at that dude's hairy belly.
That dude has half his forearm down a freaking cart, bro.
You know, that dude has a...
Oh, check out the fucking diamond piece.
No, look at the two men.
Let's click on the two men right there.
Yeah, click on the men.
Oh, dude.
Can we zoom in on that picture or get the picture longer?
They caught a whale.
That's a baby whale.
That ain't cool.
Derek should not be allowed to use the internet.
Unbelievable.
We have to log in?
Yeah, they make you log in for Pinterest.
Pinterest fucking haters.
Well, just go to the picture and zoom on the screen if you don't mind.
Yeah, there we go.
There we go.
Oh, that's a baby whale, bro.
You telling me those two people holding that big fish
ain't going to fucking meet each other later for something?
You know they're going to meet later for at least a drink.
Have to.
A lot of men, they'll go fishing.
You'll see them later meeting for a drink.
After an experience like that, catching this fucking monster?
Look at the tits on that fucking redfish.
Yeah.
My God, bro.
We should film us going noodling, dude.
I know people are listening and going, we'll take you noodling.
We do need some advice on how to do it.
Because if you don't do it right, the catfish fucks you up.
Well, look, man, if we ever did a tour, it'd be great to go do some stuff out in the world.
But I can only ask you so many times to do tour dates, though.
And I've given you dates.
No, no dates, bro.
This dude's like, I'll be in Alaska this weekend.
Fucking nine shows.
Come on out, bro.
I got the igloo.
I got Isan the fucking violent
killer who doesn't sleep.
First of all, somebody buy Isan a pillow.
That guy fucking does not sleep.
Dude, you can see the bombs in his eyes, bro.
You know what I'm saying, bro?
You see the blueprints of bombs in his eyes.
Every time I start talking to him, I hear a fuse
going in the distance, man.
I'm telling you, bro.
Shut up with Vaston and shit these days.
I'm saying it's safe to go to Brendan's shows, but it's not
as safe as it used to be, dude.
That's all I'm saying. That's fair, bro.
It's getting fucking urban out there,
bro. And I'm talking sand urban.
You know what I'm saying?
Fifty shades of sand, baby.
I'm talking about, dude,
this guy's BYO Dunes.
This dude's fucking bringing sand, bro.
Arabian Nights.
What are we talking about?
These guys are gay, bro.
These guys are gay.
If you look at this picture, man.
These boys are super gay.
There's no fucking way these dudes ain't fucking meeting each other.
There's going to be some noodling, all right.
Man, I feel bad for the women at home
that are just pretending that they're living
in a real family, in a hetero
family, bro. This is real catfishing,
bro. Yeah, this is.
Where's Neve at? Solve this case.
Yeah, where's Neve Shulman, dude?
That fucking guy who takes
advantage of poor people who don't know how to use phones.
I know.
Let's look into this.
And then also you got a show.
All he does is Google their name.
22 minute show around that bullshit.
And really,
I think that show is racial.
Sometimes I feel like that show makes fun of black people that don't know how to use phones.
It's just black people.
It really is dude.
At a certain point,
I feel like it is.
Cause it's black people.
And then it's black people still on MySpace getting catfished.
Yeah, and it's always like, and I really do.
I think, and I don't mean that in any racial way, but I just think that it's, I feel like it's not like appropriation, but it's just like fucked up, dog.
Like, go get some fucking other people, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, I agree.
Have you seen their new show, Ghosted?
It's people that went on dates, and then they ghost them because they didn't like
the person. Then they hunt the person down and be like,
why did you ghost me? He's like,
because I wasn't into you.
Now it's a TV show?
You tracked me down because I didn't like the
fucking vibe? That's a TV show.
Crazy, dude. Ghosted?
That's hilarious. Insane.
Get your life together in TV. Smoke my nuts, bro.
That's crazy. Do more Teen Moms.
MTV?
Especially Rob Dyrdek's network now.
That's all it is is ridiculous.
Yeah, shout out to Rob, though.
He's cool.
Rob's a hard worker, man.
That dude's a legend.
But Teen Mom?
What's next, man?
Smoke my nuts.
They had a 13-year-old on there.
Pregnant.
Twins.
They had a 13-year-old with twins in them, dude.
I'm out. It's all like southern poor
white people too that's the other thing they take advantage of that demo yeah go get yeah that's
what i'm saying dude mix it up bro yeah mix it up get some rich kid in the hills who got pregnant
yeah find some other motherfuckers bro yeah that's what i'm saying dude somebody shows it
take advantage of poor people all the time i watch the shit out of it though look i watch watch the dateline, really, and anybody can get murdered no matter what your price range is.
Yeah.
And that's one thing I do respect about murder, dog.
Me, too.
Sky's the limit.
Gang shit, man.
All right, let's move on.
What is this guy saying, bro?
This guy's got a problem, dude.
Dude, here's the thing.
Flat bills or curved bills, when you're black, it doesn't matter.
If you're white, it better be curved.
I don't know.
If I see a black guy.
Or five panel. If you see a black it better be curved. Or five panel.
If you see a black guy on a curved bill, dude, that's a
unique man, I feel like.
And he's in a Ford commercial.
Well, that one lady,
remember the guy with the eye patch in that commercial?
Dude, very strange.
We went down a weird road with that.
Like I got hit by a rock.
It was very strange.
Oh, hit by a rock.
Hit by a rock! Everybody on there looked like they'd been hit by a rock. It was very strange. Oh, hit by a rock. Hit by a rock.
Everybody on there looked like they'd been hit by a rock, remember?
Everybody looked like they didn't want to be there.
But that is an interesting man.
When you see a black gentleman in a curve bill, what do you, is that, that's a little unique, isn't it?
Yeah, I think coach.
When I think black guy in a curve bill, I think he's a coach.
Really?
I think Chappelle Lacey.
He's going to a school concert?
Yeah.
Yeah,
like a hole.
Right by yourself.
Is that Nine Inch Nails?
Yeah,
but it's,
for people that don't
know the difference,
it's kind of the same.
Well,
58% of people
went with curved
on this one.
Yeah,
flat bill,
you have some real
swaggy style
or be black.
Or you have to be younger.
I think it's also a younger generation thing.
Older generation, you won't see a lot of dads in the flat bill unless the wife just left him or something.
He's trying to figure it out.
Here's the other thing.
You know anyone who's rocking pro backs lately?
Like a straight up pro back?
When I was a kid, pro backs was the shit.
I never heard of pro-backs.
Pro-backs like the real, like what the MLB players wear, where it's not like a snap-back,
you know, like adjustable.
I'm talking real pro-back.
Like you get like a real Yankees hat, a real Dodgers hat, the pro-back, dog.
You probably wear a nine and a half in pro-back.
I wore eight and, what am I, eight and something.
I remember the day I found out that they had fitted hats. It changed my whole world, bro. I wore eight and, uh, what am I eating? Something. I remember the day I found out that
they had fitted hats. It changed my whole world, bro. I bet dude. And when I got that fitted hat,
bro. Yeah. I got a noggin, bro. Dude. I remember my mom was dating this dude named Kevin. Forget
his last name. Realtor. When the Colorado Rockies is our first MLB team. He was so crunk. He had,
he had the biggest head you've ever seen in your life. Screwed my mom over.
Whatever.
But anyways, we went to this store to get the first Colorado Rockies hat.
His head was so big.
They didn't have one for him.
His eyes swelled up with tears.
Dude, why is your mom?
I said, give me that shit.
I'll take it.
I was like nine.
Give me that shit.
He had like this, dog. Bobby
fucking big wheels over here.
Hell no,
you got a hat for your dumb ass.
Fucking brim and them, dude.
I can't fit into a fucking hat, dog.
And then
they said we got a snapback and that last one
was fucking hanging on
fucking because his head was so big. It was like
this. Shout out to Kevin. It was like this.
Shout out to Kevin.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Somebody had to squeeze themselves into a hat.
They can't even open their eyes anymore.
That hat's so tight.
Dude.
Like, damn, you got that tight hat, boy, boy.
Yeah.
So what is this guy's problem again?
What the fuck is this guy's problem? This guy wants to take us noodling?
No, no.
Or you got catfished or hatfished.
Dude, look, you seem blessed, man.
You got two fucking hats, man.
You got a head.
Even though you communicate kind of like that guy who was in, who's the guy who talked about space all the time, but he was in a wheelchair?
Hawking.
Yeah.
Stephen Hawking.
If you go back and listen to this, dude, he has a very Stephen Hawking-esque type of communication pattern.
Let's listen to him from the beginning.
It's very slow.
Stephen Hawking's real.
Hello.
Hello.
My question is for the debate club. It's very slow. Stephen Hawkins. Real. Hello. My question is for the debate club.
It's a very robotic.
I want to know.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
Shut this dude down, bro.
Get outdoors.
Use your legs, bro.
Okay?
I agree, man.
Get out of your head and use your legs, man.
If you move your feet, your brain will follow, bro.
Tighten up.
You don't care what kind of hat you have on.
Dude, Stephen Hawkins was negative as fuck all the time.
Like, world is going to end.
It's like, all right, dude.
He had one button on his thing.
It said game over on it.
For everything.
Yeah.
Game over.
People ask him about it.
Everything was negative.
What's your favorite pizza?
Pizza, kills, stop eating.
Fuck you. We flew your favorite pizza? Pizza kills. Stop eating. Fuck you.
We flew your ass all the way from fucking England to come out and give us a speech.
You just shit on the world.
Dude, that's a beautiful mind.
Every bird is dying.
All right, man.
Glass half full, you fuck.
And sometimes it wasn't even his words.
It would be like, this is what it sounds like when does cry.
Bitch, I didn't even
show shit. The world
is a vampire.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Sent a drain.
If you'd have stopped
for that second stanza, you'd have really had
us, Brenda. But you live and learn, man.
I'm learning, bro. You are learning, man, and I love that about
you, dude. What else we got? And I'm not learning, so that not learning so that's where we meet boy Jaden from Perth Australia oh good
day mate oh hey don't Brendan Jaden from Perth Australia got a bit of a debate club here for
you I want to know what you prefer to do jump out of a plane skydiving or do bungee jumping? Let us know what you think.
Gang gang.
Butt chug.
Butt chug.
That's Brendan sipping something brown too.
Chugging that butt, bro.
Black rival coffee dog.
If she's fine enough,
I'll butt chug.
Dude, bungee jump?
Disgusting, Brendan.
Just speaking my real truth, bro.
Well, I respect that then.
The Lord's work. I didn't know that was your truth,. Well, I respect that then. The Lord's work.
I didn't know that was your truth, dude, but I respect that.
But Chug can kill.
The thing is, listen, bungee jumping or fucking jumping out of planes, how about neither?
I want to live, bro.
I want to live.
You know what it'd feel like to have someone tell my kid I died because jumping out of a fucking plane?
Feel awesome.
Or bungee jumping?
You know how stupid that shit is?
Tos and cons.
Cat, in your culture, a lot of parents die.
They kill themselves out of honor.
What is more honorable?
To have your parent die from...
What was the man's problem?
I'm sorry I interrupted you too, man.
You want to bungee jump or jump out of a plane.
But I like where you're going with this, Theo.
Well, I am sorry for interrupting you there.
No, you're fine.
I was done.
You were?
Yeah, you actually saved me.
But now you fucked me because now I've got to rehash what I was talking about.
Sorry, man.
Nobody will dwell on something like me, man.
I'm a dweller.
But what do you guys do?
Yeah, what happens if your father's going to kill himself or something because of something
that happened at the company?
Is it better that he died skydiving or bungee jumping?
Oh, it's going to be skydiving because that's 100% him taking responsibility.
Whereas bungee jumping is like, maybe he'll live.
Maybe he's not taking full responsibility for what he did.
Yeah, I'm going to tie a rope.
That's a good call.
I'm going to tie a rope and just hope, see what happens.
Dude, you know, Kat joined a motorcycle gang.
I don't know if you noticed the ink on her forearm.
Oh, really?
Is that real?
Yeah, it's real.
Damn.
Fucking snake.
That looks nice, huh?
Isn't that dope?
I joined the triad.
She sent me that one.
She sent me that one.
That shit is sexy.
And I'm like, well, that's sexual harassment, Brendan.
I couldn't re-onsend it, you know?
Oh, she sent you that picture?
Yeah.
I went, that shit is sexy.
Ooh.
I felt bad when I said it.
Risky.
Risky.
But I knew what you meant.
You know what I meant in this culture?
I feel like you look dope with a neck tattoo, Kat.
You know?
You look pretty sweet, too.
Just right here, bro.
Yeah.
I could get that.
Yeah, you could pull it off.
Aorta right along my aorta.
Just back here, dude.
Just a little here.
Just put aorta here.
Fuck yeah.
With an arrow.
Yeah.
And then two little vampire things like they were sucking on you.
Hashtag true blood.
No, I would put two handprints where they could get my pulse in case I was ever hurt or something.
Apply hair.
Yeah.
But Kat's in a gang.
So Kat, very much, yeah.
So a man, it's not honorable dying bungee jump.
No, absolutely not.
Both suck.
If I'm going to die, I want to die with something badass.
That would make CNN.
If I jump out of a plane, I die bungee jumping, not making CNN.
If I jump into a great white shark's mouth, making CNN.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I'm going for.
And ESPN, dude. ESPN, too.
Top ten. Yeah, top ten.
Top ten. Yeah, da-na-na.
Shout out to ESPN, which I did make
a few weeks ago, so just
fucking cleaning that up. Did you? Yeah, I'll play it right now
for you guys. How?
Top six, gang.
Top six, baby.
Plays of the week right there.
I don't get it.
Play number six, man.
Play number six.
They have a guy named Hamp that was playing, and he referenced Hamp because I used to raise hamsters and stuff when I was young.
Not raise them.
So the broadcaster.
The player's name was Hamp.
And the broadcaster said shout broadcaster shouted Theo Voss?
Yeah.
Oh, that's dope, man.
Pretty cool, man.
You know what?
You've been acting different.
That makes sense.
Really?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, order me around and shit.
I'd say neither.
I'm not into skydiving or bungee jumping.
Yeah, I'd say neither, Shulman, dude.
I'd fucking say neither, Shulman on that one, bro.
Oh, no, wait.
No, fuck that, bro.
I wasn't thinking about it.
Dude, have Stephen Hawkins try one of these. Oh, one, bro. I say toss. Oh, no, wait. No, fuck that, bro. I wasn't thinking about it. Dude, have Stephen Hawkins try one of these.
Oh, damn, Brendan.
In the chair.
Oh, my God.
I'm so scared.
Game over.
You're out of your mind, Brendan.
Or it's going to be awesome for him.
This is what it sounds like.
When doves fly.
He changed the word at the end on that one.
The world is a vampire.
Oh, damn.
Dude, is there a... You're going to hell, bro.
I am? Dude, do you remember
when Stephen Hawkins turned into a fucking chick
in that movie? Have you seen that movie?
Oh, the Danish girl?
Oh, dude, the Danish girl?
When Stephen Hawkins turns into a fucking chick?
Yeah, I haven't seen it,
but I can imagine. I bet it's easier to be a chick when you're in a wheelchair
because people don't have to see you walk or move around.
And that's a giveaway.
They don't know what your cheeks look like.
Yeah, it's just more of a giveaway when you have to move
around or show how your body moves
because a male body moves differently.
So we don't know.
Right. It's easier as
someone that has the conviction
of a wheelchair or
someone that's in a wheelchair. The wheelchair is
going to hide them curves. Yeah.
You hide your cheeks. I had no idea. I've known you for
a while. I had no idea you had them
two hamsters hanging out the back.
Bro, dude. Shout out
Hamp Sisson, bro. I had no idea, bro. Hamps, bro. Shout out Furman back. Bro, dude. Shout out Hamp Sisson, bro. I had no idea, bro.
I got those hams, bro.
Shout out Furman University.
All right, dude.
Dude, skydiving.
I don't know.
Shout out Perth, bro.
Beautiful place.
Oy, oy, oy.
Iggy Wocky.
Iggy Wocky.
What'd you go with, Theo?
Did you say skydiving or bungee?
Skydiving is G shit, man.
Skydiving?
Skydiving is G shit, bro.
Tying yourself to a cord and jumping off of something, bro.
Anybody could do that in their fucking yard, bro.
What are you, nine?
There's people doing that.
You know, I remember they had a dude by us.
He tied a rope to his feet and jumped off of the side of his fucking house, dude.
And fucking broke, I think, like two or six of his ribs, probably.
I don't know how many ribs you have.
He broke one eleventh of his ribs.
So whatever that is.
It's called jackass.
We've seen how that show ends.
No, this was bungee jumping. This was early bungee jumping,
dude. Before they, you know, a lot of the measurements
were going around. Here's the thing with bungee jumping,
then we can move on. When people bungee jump
in Mexico, you're going to trust
homeboy fucking Pablo
with the rope every
goddamn day? You're paying him 50
fucking pesos? You're going to trust
that guy to tie your feet correctly?
Have you got your goddamn mind?
Or in Florida. That's a great point,
Brendan. Name all the places you can bungee jump.
I ain't trusting fucking Miguel
with my life for 20
pesos.
You know what I'm saying?
Any place you can bungee jump for less than
$7,
you're just fucking killing yourself
and giving somebody $6.99.
Yeah, dude.
It's a $7 suicide.
And he's blaming on poor Miguel.
He shut his operation down.
Fuck, dude.
Bro, here's a place, bro,
and also Florida is a place
where they'll let you bungee jump
everywhere you go.
Mexico, Florida.
You can get a Shoney's in Florida
and they'll let you fucking bungee jump
for $30 outside. Florida, or basically, as I like to call it, go. Mexico, Florida. You can get a Shoney's in Florida and they'll let you fucking bungee jump for 30 bucks outside. Florida, or basically as I like to call it often, North
Mexico. Okay. Let's be realistic, man. We got to shut it down, guys. Safety first. I'm going to say
skydiving. It's a little bit more regulated. You get a lot of post-militarios that work in that
industry because they love the experience
of being up in these jets and jumping.
I'm going to go skydiving all day.
It's an actual real experience.
I'm going to go with bungee jumping just because it's way more dangerous.
84% went with
skydiving. 84% of great
people. Yeah, gang shit.
I want to know this, man. Let's get a vote.
Who's more likely? What was the thing
a few minutes ago we couldn't decide what it was? Who's more likely? What was the thing they wanted a few minutes ago?
We couldn't decide what it was?
Who's more likely to die doing something?
Were we talking about that?
We weren't.
What are you saying?
Between you and me?
Yeah, I was going to get people to vote.
I'll die before you for sure.
No, who's more likely?
What was it?
It was.
Who's going to kill themselves fast?
Oh, who's going to hell?
You and me?
Yeah.
Oh.
So I'm saying it's a tough call.
I don't think it is.
We'll put that up on the-
I'm way nicer.
Bro, you sure are going to hell, dude.
You're definitely going to hell.
I think about God all the time, dude.
You're just milling around.
No, I pray, dude.
I've been in a church.
Oh, bro.
Bro, no.
You think church is your ally?
I was born in the church.
Whoa, dude, enough with the Brian Callen impersonation.
What I'm talking about is this.
Dude, I'm closer to heaven because Tim Tebow is a buddy of mine.
He texts Jesus, what's up now, bro?
Dude, he's never been a guest on TFATK, bro, so he's not that close of a buddy of yours.
I'll say this, dude, Carl Lentz is a buddy
of mine, bro. Never heard of him.
Carl Lentz, you know him.
The hip-hop pastor, bro. No, not Carl
Weathers, bro. That guy died.
Carl Weathers is alive, bro.
Carl Weathers is alive, dude? Yeah, I see him in Venice all the time
thriving. No, he doesn't. He rode that horse
and he did those commercials about senior
citizen safety braces. No, Carl Weathers is thriving.
He's jacked.
I think he's on TRT, dude.
Who does it say?
White guy on horse doing commercials for old people.
Can you Google that?
Carl Weathers is black, but okay.
Carl Weathers is black, also known as Apollo.
You think there's only one Carl Weathers, dude?
There's only one that matters.
Okay, I'll tell you this.
80 out of probably 92 Carl Weatherses are white.
I give you that.
Okay.
That's why you got famous, bro.
Oh, you're thinking of the...
Yeah, what does it say?
What do we get if we do white guy on horse doing commercials for old people?
Old white guy.
You got to put old white guy.
I'm sorry.
Who's your fucking guy who's close to Jesus?
I'm going to tell you.
Oh, Carl Lentz, bro.
Bring up Carl Lentz.
K or C?
C, bro. Actually, very good question.
No, it's not. Is he white?
C. Bro, when it comes to letters,
ask me.
Do we? Yes, C-A-R-L.
Do we? Carl Lentz, man.
Oh, the American guy. Hillsong Church.
Gang shit, bro.
He just had a birthday, too. That's Jesus'
fuckboy. What is he wearing, bro?
You're a fucking asshole.
That is the Lord's fuckboy.
Look at the way he's dressed.
I celebrate it, but I don't want
my pastor in fucking
fear of God clothing.
You know what I'm saying? I don't want my pastor
in Yeezys.
Why is he dressed like this?
Because he loves Yeezy Christ, bro.
That's why, dude.
What do you mean, bro?
Dude, look at him.
Oh, that's fucking Kanye's collection season six.
He's rocking it.
That's fine, bro.
That's not the Lord's work.
Bro, he's doing it, dude.
You and I, we ain't doing shit, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
You think he's closer to heaven than us I we ain't doing shit bro you know what I'm saying you think he's closer
to heaven than us
oh I think he
I mean you have to
dig your way out of hell
but I think we're both
close to heaven
than he is
if there's a stoop
he's definitely
he's on the stoop
but we're fucking
maybe on the second stair bro
but I want to know
who is more likely
to go to hell
I want our fans to vote
you or me
the listeners to vote
can we put that up
who's most likely to I? Who's most likely to?
I think who's most likely to die before 80 is also fair.
Well, let's do this one first.
Is that okay?
Sure.
Let's do one first.
Just hear me out on dying before 80.
Huh?
I'm going to die before you because if, just picture this, all dogs go to heaven, but big
dogs don't last long.
I'm like a great Dane.
You're like a border collie.
Okay, this sounds like something out of
fucking a line that got
cut out of Babe Pig in the City.
Okay, so I don't know
what you're talking about, bro.
Big guys don't... Name the biggest grandpa you know.
Oh, no. Big guys don't live long.
Okay, Saul.
Big guys don't live long.
Look how they see each other down there?
Dude.
I can't believe that you fucking
you're taking Tebow over
Lentz, bro.
Dude, Tebow
can fucking tax
with Jesus Christ.
This guy is in fucking
Yeezy 7 wardrobe here.
I'm not listening to this guy.
Bro, you can look nice and go to heaven, bro.
Okay?
No pastor I know.
Now I'm a Bieber fan.
I'm a Bieber fan.
Bieber's in that picture too.
Dude, JB's a fucking legend, but I'm saying that this guy, Carl Lentz, is a good man, dude.
I think he's a good man.
Shirt off.
Shred city. I'll give him this. Body's from heaven is a good man, dude. I think he's a good man. Shirt off. Shred city.
I'll give him this.
Body's from heaven. His body's from heaven.
I'll give him that. Bro, you don't
think the rest of them could? I'm just saying,
bro, they're trying to get to heaven.
What?
You said that? Bro, now
you're working with the church.
Now I'm getting closer to heaven.
Now you're getting closer to heaven, man. Shout out to T-Bo and Carl Lentz, man. I'm getting closer to heaven. Now you're getting closer to heaven, man.
Shout out to T-Bo and
Carl Lentz, man. I'm just kidding, Carl.
Yeah, and I'm just kidding Tim.
You can be a sexy preacher. You can wear some dope clothes.
I'm a fan. Your body's
sick, bro.
It's not about his body.
You said that again?
It's about his spirit, man.
Yeah, it's about his spirit. It's not about his
Yeezys and Jordan 3s that he's about his spirit, man. Yeah, it's about his spirit. It's not about his Yeezys and Jordan
3s that he's in that are $700.
I'm telling you.
And flying private jets. Dude, how are you going to get
to heaven if you can't jump? You know what I'm saying?
What'd you say?
How are you going to get to heaven if you can't jump, dog?
You got to have a little bit of, you got to have some
decent boots on, baby. Yeah, you need some decent
boots. Some very rare
Jordan 3s to get to heaven.
We all do. Only the Lord could jump in sandals,
bro. Only JC could jump in sandals, dog.
He was the last one to ever do it.
He's the last one to ever do it.
Are you going to heaven, Kat?
Let's get Kat in here, dude. Am I going to heaven?
Yeah. All cats go to heaven.
Well, I was raised Buddhist,
so I think I would be reincarnated.
That's what I'm saying. Shout out our car.
What do you want to be reincarnated as?
I don't know.
Hopefully.
I mean, it's obvious.
I feel like you're moody as a real cat, though.
You know what I'm saying?
You got a very cat vibe.
The feline.
Yeah, it's kind of obvious what you're going to be reincarnated as.
A black cat.
Right?
Huh?
A black cat.
Just a cat, dude.
You don't need to see color when you talk about animals.
Brendan, you freak. I don't see her as a tabby cat. You know I'm saying oh
Maybe a Pokemon. Oh, yeah, I could see once you guys masturbating in the park
What are you doing?
With your wiener out
Yeah, I don't know what happened.
Some guy scored 40 on me in middle school.
Life's just gone downhill since then.
Life's never been the same, man.
It's pretty traumatic, you know?
I didn't choose this life.
Yeah, you know Jason Williams?
Have you heard of him?
No, no, not that one.
No, no, not that one either.
Keep going.
Yeah, not even that one.
Yeah, the guy that works at fucking Orange Julius.
That's him.
He looks out of shape now, but he had a mean jumper for a while there.
He was a legend when we were young.
Legend in Roar Hills.
All right, what else we got?
What was this guy's issue again?
Oh, you guys answered it.
It was bungee jumping.
We're almost through this episode.
We've only got two categories.
But the next thing is on topic with what y'all have been talking about, which is crazy.
I don't know how I did this.
We didn't do it. You know who did how I'll do this. There's some relationship advice.
We didn't do it.
You know who did, man?
He did.
TL, baby.
Wait till you hear this question.
You'll see what I'm talking about.
Wait till you hear this question.
Sammy Sosa.
What?
This is from our book.
If you do it 70 times, you'll turn fucking pink, bro.
That's why I keep doing it.
That's what he did.
That's why he was doing it.
Yeah, that's what he did.
And the Lord went, you right.
He kind of splattered him with it.
Bro, it goes a long distance, man.
And kept throwing full racks of ribs at him.
He got all fat.
All right, what do you got?
This is our boy Jacob Connor asking for relationship advice.
And ironically, let me say this before we even start, his initials are JC.
Come on.
What is happening right now?
Oh, wait till you hear this.
It's the Lord.
What is happening, dude?
It's for this episode.
Don't ask, brother.
Just feel it.
I know.
Just let it go through your body.
We'll see what they say.
And that is, we're going to put that up on the thing.
And that can be a new category that we'll start too.
Who's more likely?
Or how about heaven, hell, or there needs to be a category like heaven, hell.
We got to pick someone if they're going to heaven, hell.
Or what's the third category?
Heaven, hell, or sea world.
You know what I'm saying?
But we can only put two on the Instagram, right?
Yeah, only two on Instagram.
On Twitter, we can put up to, I think, five or six.
Well, it's already gotten complicated.
Let's-
Heaven, hell, or Legoland?
Who's more likely?
It's good.
Who's more likely to go to hell?
Who's more likely?
And then we'll pick between y'all.
And then you can do other people, too.
Exactly.
Yep.
So who's more likely to go to hell?
That's what we'll do for this first one.
And then after that, we'll take some suggestions where Yep. Yep. So who's more likely to go to hell? That's what we'll do for this first one. And,
uh,
and then after that,
we'll,
we'll take some suggestions where if you want to ask who's,
so you can vote on Instagram,
who's more likely to go to hell.
Kat will post that up on Instagram for us.
And then after that,
you can send in for a new,
for a new segment.
Who's more likely,
who's more likely to join ISIS?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great question.
That's perfect,
dude.
Yeah. Who's more likely to get indoctrinated
in ISIS this weekend in Dallas?
Via one of their coworkers.
Alright, boys.
Cha-ching!
Who employs an ISIS member?
This guy.
JJ Wont, bro.
Shout out to JJ Wont, who gets hurt every year.
I'm sending this in to get a little relationship advice.
I've been dating my girl for about four months now.
Amen.
And her parents don't want us to date because apparently I'm not a devoted Christian.
So I'm wondering what you guys think I should do.
Keep sneaking around
with her like we have been
for the past couple months?
Or just break things off before we get
too much further?
Let me know. Gang gang
butt plug.
Oh, he's into the dark arts.
I wouldn't let my daughter hang out with that guy either.
I was on board to the butt plug.
I was like, well.
What's the Christian comic?
John Christ. Dude, do what John Christ
did. Just fake the funk, bro.
And bust nuts. Bro, come on,
man. Dude, just
buy fucking Kanye's new
Yeezy Season 7 like his friend
and pretend you're religious, dude.
And then you marry a girl and she knows
what's up. She's obviously cool.
You don't know what fucking John Palms 17 is or whatever.
It's Psalms, first of all.
John Palms.
Okay.
Dude, also, John Palms is a porn star.
That's how I know him.
Okay.
Dude, buy some fucking Stone Cold Steve Austin shirts
with the fucking 316 on it.
They'll never know, dude.
Just fake the funk.
You can hear the votes adding up for who's going to hell, can't you?
Can't you just hear the votes adding up?
Your spirit is in the drain, brother.
Did you grow up going to church?
Yeah, not a ton, but I went sometime.
My dad would take us over there.
Favorite verse, go.
Huh?
God is great.
God is good.
God, we thank you for this food.
That's a prayer, bro.
By his hands, we all are fed. Thank, we thank you for this food. That's a prayer, bro.
By his hands, we all are fed.
Thank you, Lord, for daily bread.
Amen.
Right, bro.
I'll see you at the sandwich shop, baby.
I'll see you at the sandwich shop, dude.
Dude, come on, man.
You got to tighten up, dog.
Are you going to freaking, you know where you're going to end up, bro.
And, dude, it's getting hot in here. You're going to be listening.
So take that ball like those.
It is getting so hot.
I'm going to take my clothes off.
Bro, Satan.
I want to be there, bro.
Well, look, you're on your way, dog.
Me and Nelly, bro.
Dude, it's going to be you and Nelly, boy.
They're going to be noodling a bunch of old men noodling you.
I'm saying,
bro, you got to tighten up. This guy,
this is a good question, man. This is a real good question.
You're young, dude. If you love her, fake the
funk. You don't know them shit, dude.
Well, yeah, it's true.
Also, if they're real Christians, they shouldn't
be judging you either, but they're probably them
fake-ass Christians.
Again, I know I'm digging myself
deeper to hell, but I'm just saying
Christians should forgive. Hand me your shovel,
man.
Let me hold
my shovel.
I don't know, man.
Here's the thing. If her parents, if that's what
they want, it's like, I could
imagine if I'm a parent and
the kid is like, but you seem like a nice kid.
This guy seems like a nice kid.
He seems cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's got braces, dude.
That's brave as fuck to wear braces, bro.
Metal ones in 2019?
Bro.
You bait, dude.
You fucking, you're basically the flavor of our generation, dude, if you fucking wearing that.
It's crazy.
That's brave as fuck, dude.
You're like basically the Forrest Gump of fucking grills, bro.
You're a young carrot top out on the streets, bro.
That's what I'm saying, bro. That's some mean shit, dude.
You're the Bobby Schmurder of your generation.
If you wear fucking metal braces
like a white Takashi 69
on the streets, bro.
While every other bitch ass is doing these
you know, uh...
Teeth by mail or something.
Dude, a buddy of mine
got the wrong one sent to him.
Dude, he looks like a senior citizen now.
Yeah, bro, it's insane.
All it takes is one fucking Amazon
mix-up because your fucking delivery
dude's too high, and next thing you know
you got the teeth of a fucking newborn
fucking kitten, you know?
Shit's getting risky.
Next thing you know you got the teeth of a crocodile.
Yeah, bro.
Next thing you know, it takes you a minute and a half
to smile
because you got 2,000 fucking teeth,
bro. So that's what I'm saying,
dude. Mad respect to you for keeping it
old school and keep it. That's like having the Jordan
Ones on your fucking smile. Yeah, I like this
kid, man. Look, and it's obvious you
care about the girl because you're even caring about this question, man.
I think you could present to the parents,
look, you know, I don't know how I feel, you know?
Like, I'm doing the best that I can.
I do know I care about your daughter.
And then let them deal with that at that point
because if that's your truth.
If you're just trying to fuck, man,
then that's a different story.
But I would just, I don't know, man.
I don't even know. Brendan?
I would Christian catfish this bitch.
Yeah. And what is that?
You're young, dude.
Kind of read up a little bit. Buy the Bible
for dummies. Read up a little bit.
Let the parents know what's up.
You're not going to marry the broad, dude. You're
16 with braces.
Live your life, bro. You ain't going to hell. I challenge you to marry her, dude. I don't. Don marry the broad, dude. You're 16 with braces. Live your life, bro.
You ain't going to hell.
I challenge you to marry her, dude.
I don't.
Don't do that, bro.
Don't do it.
Brennan's a pussy, bro.
No, I'm not.
Huh?
Only one healthy relationship.
Listen to your boy here.
Listen to your boy.
Okay.
Keep the braces.
You got me with that one.
But dude, if you can do braces these days, metal braces, you could do a marriage, bro.
If you can do braces, you can do anything.
Bro, it's like putting braces on your wiener, bro.
You know?
You could do a marriage easy, dude.
And plus, if you have a couple of kids, bro, a church family, there's nothing they love more when you throw a few kids and their child.
Yeah, they love that shit.
What do you think about this, Derek?
Dude, 16 and pregnant.
Yeah.
Derek, I know this is probably your... I'm with Bay, man.
Pretend to be Christian, bro. Everybody else is
doing it. You know what I mean? Come on, baby.
Nobody's really... Well, dude, we're never gonna be...
All of us are fuck-ups, man. You know what I'm
saying? We just try our best. That's all I'm saying.
Thou shalt forgive. I know.
Thou shalt forgive.
I'm trying to forgive, man. Where is that, bro?
Where is that, Big Brent? What? Thou shalt not
kill. Alright? Thou shalt forgive. Where is that? Where is that big bread? What? Thou shall not kill. All right?
Thou shall forgive.
Thou shall bust nuts.
It's all in line of the true word of Jesus.
John Christ.
God damn.
John Christ.
John Christ.
Bro, that's a fucking dark game, man.
It's a dark game out there.
Religion's the darkest game.
Religion is a dark game, man.
When you think about what religion's done over all the day about people fighting for religion, that's when it gets wild.
Killed more people than anything else.
Smashed all the little boys.
People believe in their faith, though, man.
People believe in it.
You know, it's wild, man.
Whatever gets you through the day, bro.
Well, here's the thing, man.
I believe in faith, but I don't believe.
I'm not going to take a sword to somebody if they don't believe what I believe.
That's crazy.
Especially when I'm still figuring out what I believe, you know?
People fighting, swording.
I need some evidence, bro.
You got to look in your heart for that, man.
Yeah, I guess.
Damn, bro.
I'm ready to say fuck that.
My science, bro.
I'm looking in the glove box of my Lambo for it.
That's what it is.
Mi corazón es son wheels.
What do you think about this kid?
What do y'all think about this kid?
Let's go to the culture corner, man.
We don't know shit, Brendan.
I like him, man.
I think he's a cutie.
He's a youngster.
You know what I mean?
Whoa, dude.
He's like 14.
I don't know how old this guy is.
I don't know how old he is.
Whoa, pastor posting.
Watch out, bro. I don't know how old this guy is. I don't know how old he is. Whoa, pastor posting. Watch out, bro.
Don't need my postman, though.
Damn, bro.
No, he's a good kid.
What would you do, Kat?
I mean, he's 16?
Why is he talking to her parents?
I've never talked to any of the parents of the guys I've dated in high school.
Really?
Interesting.
That's very interesting. Why not? I definitely have to deal with the parents of the guys I've dated in high school. Really? No. That's very interesting.
Why not?
I definitely had to deal with some parents.
Well, one, I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend growing up.
I wasn't allowed to have friends until I was in college.
Haters.
My mom did not want me to have a social life.
Well, then this is perfect then for you.
So imagine if this was your boyfriend in high school or something,
and this is the question he sends in.
You know, I like Kat.
Let's play it back, and we'll put Kat in there.
What's up, Theo?
What's up, Brendan?
I'm sending this in to get a little relationship advice.
I wonder who he's seeing.
I've been dating my girl for about four months now.
Okay, pause it.
And her parents.
His girl who?
Cat.
He's dating cat.
Four months.
Wow, for four months this guy really cares about her, it seems like.
It looks like he's in a church when he's sending this.
Yeah, it does.
Confession booth.
The thing is, it's four months in his little lifetime.
That's forever.
Yeah.
They got rings and shit.
That's like 5% of his life.
Yep.
At 16, if I was dating a guy for four months, I wouldn't bring him to anything.
I'd only hang out with him in private. Kat is a savage.
Hey Siri, what's 16 times 12?
16 times 12 is 192.
So four months of
192, it's basically like 2% of his
life he's spent with Kat.
That's a lot of time, Kat. That's not enough time for me.
I would not have had brought him to my parents.
Okay, but this is how he's feeling, so you don't
even give a fuck about him. So let's imagine that
now. So the guy cares,
you don't care. Let's keep playing. I don't want
us to date because apparently
I'm not a devoted Christian.
What's that even mean these days?
I'm wondering what you guys think I should do.
Keep sneaking around with her
like we have been for the past
couple months, or just break things off before we get too much further.
Let me know.
Gang, gang, butt plug.
That's not going to get you in the house, brother.
The butt plug thing ain't going to get you in the Lord's house.
Garrett flared up when he heard it.
I know.
He's not in the Lord's house either.
Pastor P, dude, make him say, uh.
Make him say, uh.
God, if this was me,
I feel like
I would have told my parents,
there's this guy
who has a crush on me.
I don't want to spend
any more time with him.
Can you please make up
an excuse for why
we can't see each other?
Because he's not taking a hint.
Oh, wow.
If that was me.
Yeah, because that's the problem
we don't get here
is we don't get
what the girl thinks.
Yeah, we need the other girl.
I wish we'd get both sides.
I need more facts, dude.
Well, here's what we can do.
We can ask him.
Send pics.
No, just send.
I'm 14.
I need all information.
That's a better request, dude.
Not send pics of a 14-year-old girl.
Send pics.
I need to know what we're dealing with here, dude.
Is it worth your time? Nah, dude.
I've seen too much euphoria, bro.
I don't even think we have insurance, dude.
Do not send pics.
Do not send pics of children to us, man.
We don't know how old he is. He might be
21. No, he said how old he is, didn't he?
He didn't say how old he was. No, he didn't. Oh, that's never mind, man.
Again, I need more info. Send pics.
Send pics of anyone that's over 18, man.
Yeah.
But here's the thing, bro.
I think if we could get her take on this, I think we'd be able to maybe give a better suggestion.
We never get the woman's take, do we?
But that's the problem sometimes with people looking for advice or suggestions.
They can't.
Well, here's the problem.
Our crowd's real cock fest.
I don't think it is.
We get a lot of females.
Do we?
I think so. Well, for Flop My Aunt. No, the think it is. We get a lot of females. Do we? I think so.
Well, for Flop My Aunt.
No, they send in,
only problem is
all the girls
are sending stuff.
They just,
they just send in like,
hey, what up, Theo?
The pay club.
And it's like,
well, I can't use this.
Well, you must be using it
for something
because I've never seen
one of those pictures.
I don't know if you guys
want those.
I just scroll by them.
Derek, let me tell you something.
If you get one of those,
if you get a few of those,
run it by us. Okay, we're getting about a thousand, boys. I don't need it, man. tell you something. If you get one of those, if you get a few of those, run it by us.
Okay.
We're getting them by the thousands, boys.
I don't need it, man.
I'm trying to keep, I'm trying to, I have enough problem, dude.
I see something, I'll think about masturbation.
It's hard to use, you know, king of the sting at my pussy or my butthole.
And I'm like, well, lady.
That's a great debate.
It is a good debate.
We've debated it before.
Yeah.
We use it already.
Well, good luck to this guy, man.
Do the Lord's work and lie.
Wow, man. I'm going to say, look, we use it our way. Well, good luck to this guy, man. Do the Lord's work and lie. Wow, man.
I'm going to say, look, man, I think, you know, I think if you really care about it,
present it to her folks and say, look, this is how I feel about your daughter.
You know, if I'm not religious enough for you or something, that's.
Or play heel.
Tell them you believe in voodoo.
See how it goes, dude.
Now, I like that, too, bro.
If you want me, bro, I'll send you a fucking Drew Brees jersey, dog, and telling him, you know, who dat?
Put some fucking dead squirrel skeletons around your neck.
Tell him you believe in the dark arts, bro.
Dude, I knew a guy who used to sell raccoon penis necklaces, dude.
I'd buy one.
Swear to God, this dude outside of Iowa.
Hell yeah, I'd buy one.
So, and outside of Iowa, yeah, outside of Iowa.
What else we got, dude?
Good luck to this guy.
We're going to wrap it up on some King and her Stingit boys.
Man, that boo.
Those two left.
Dang, this thing.
They charge this thing.
Stop hitting it, please.
Oh, first.
Please stop hitting it, dude.
Courtney from Cleveland, Ohio.
This is our girl, Courtney.
She's a welder.
Hey, Theo and Brendan.
I'm Courtney.
Can't get her to sting it for you.
Women doing blue-collar jobs.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Did she weld after at the end or no?
She didn't do anything after, but I hope she did. That was it?
That was it.
Is she breaking into a bank vault?
What are we doing here?
I think she's a welder.
She could if she wants to.
She could.
I like this.
I like this lady. I like that hard-working
lady right there. She's out there welding, dude.
Get your hands dirty, girl.
Oh, dude. She definitely
she's fucking John Weld Bobbitt, bro.
She could fucking weld your wiener right off if you don't
behave. I respect
it.
I respect it. I'm not going to buy the product.
I respect it, though. Just kidding.
You wouldn't? I'd buy it.
You date a female that could weld?
Yeah, it'd be cool.
She'd weld cool shit for me.
Weld some more of these?
Yeah.
Bottle openers?
Maybe make us like a metal chair or something for in here.
It'd be nice.
Welding's kind of going out of business, yeah?
Yeah, I don't know who welds.
It's not 1915? So welding's kind of going out of business, yeah? Yeah, I don't know who welds. It's not 1915, so welding's kind of going out of business, yeah?
Going out of business, Brendan?
What do you think keeps walls up?
What do you think keeps bridges up?
Show me a bridge in another country right now that just fell down.
Google Bridge Falls.
Oh, really?
Kills many.
Google that.
And not M-I-N-N-I-E. Not that.
I know her, but I'm not talking about her.
Bridge Falls killed.
Recently a bridge fell?
Brendan.
Yeah, look at this one.
That's Florida, man.
This is at a college, bro.
God damn.
That's one of them new age bridges.
What do you mean new age bridges, dude?
That's a bridge.
God dang, that's terrible.
And there you go.
Look at that shit.
Guess who probably put this bridge together?
Five vehicles.
Five vehicles.
First of all, that bridge looks like they don't even fucking need it, bro, dude.
Get a damn crosswalk, dog.
They wanted it so students could cross over instead of crossing the busy street.
And a lot of them crossed right into the Lord's arms, bro.
FIU.
Oh, dude. FIU. Out of nowhere. Oh, dude.
That's sad.
Workers are hurt.
Bro, you gotta say this, man.
Four dead. Fuck, dude.
When FIU, when two of the letters
are FU, I ain't going there, bro.
I don't believe in it either. FU, bro.
FSU. Yeah, dude.
They're struggling. Oh, they are struggling, man.
They got Ryan Leach, I think, over there at quarterback.
That's not good, dude.
Ryan Leach.
Yeah, I'm down with girls doing this shit, man.
It's kind of cool.
Yeah, she's a cutie.
Hell yeah.
Yep.
Derek will throw it in your microwave oven over there with that heat burner.
Right after work.
Derek will throw it in that bowl.
Keep that welder hat on.
Welders get to wear cool hats, bro.
Welders get to wear cool hats bro welders get to wear cool hats
you got a free
Halloween costume
right when you leave
work if you want
yeah there's cool gloves
yeah
the best thing is
watching somebody
who's went in a
welder helmet
go order at a drive-thru
and not lift their
fucking thing up
god that's gangster
oh take me to heaven
with that bro
that shit's sexy
shout out to this girl
you know
you boys king it
I'll king the shit
out of it
last one this is our boy Zeal king in dusting Sexy. Shout out to this girl. You know. You boys king it? I'll king the shit out of it.
Last one.
This is our boy Zeal.
King of the stink.
Zeal.
Was good podcast.
Just got done doing some dirt.
I mean work at that big double D, dirty double D right there. Gang of shit.
King of the stink.
Glaze them up, bro.
White people with dreads.
You feel me?
Yes, sir. Oh. White people with dreads. You feel me? Yes, sir.
Oh.
Nut bus, skeet skeet.
Dang, I like this guy, man.
Very unique man.
Zeal is his name?
Zeal.
I like that.
Culture appropriation here, man.
Hey, shout out to Dunkin' Donuts, dude, over there, dude.
And let's play one of my favorite videos of all time.
If you'll go to Dunkin' Donuts Burns Down.
Dunkin' Donuts Burn Down? Oh, this is the best video that's ever happened
dude
Julie a lot of people in
Shemokin are upset that Dunkin Donuts is closed because they didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and Donuts today
We also learned information about the teenage girl police charged with setting the place on fire
Yellow tape surrounds the dunkin donuts on
west sunbury street in shimoku dead serious popular shut off shimoku is closed until further notice
there's a lot of people that's definitely gonna miss it no doubt about it a teenager is charged
with starting a fire inside the restaurant on saturday night restaurant Restaurant. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr filled up with smoke. The mother did explain that she's recently been put on new medication.
His name's Officer Ray Psycho? The 15-year-old who admitted to setting the fire
is currently at a juvenile detention center.
Now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a Turkey Hill or something
where I don't like their donuts.
I'd rather the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts.
And I'm kind of dealing with it, but I really miss Dunkin' Donuts.
And I'm kind of dealing with it, but I really miss Dunkin Donuts
Okay, I get some coffee powerade if I'm dehydrated I sit there all the time if I have any like legal work that I need to do I go there
I meet with my attorneys there
I'm gonna miss that place if it don't open up
Damn Edna
A lot of my friends go in there get the cold coffee
What ice coffee I guess it's called.
People miss their local coffee.
What's it called?
What planet is that?
Cold coffee?
What's it called?
Frozen water coffee?
It's a location where you can meet up with your friends.
It's the only thing this town has.
Gang shit, bro.
That shit was hilarious.
Shout out Shemokin, bro.
Shout out people sweating.
And shout out to everybody that survives out there in Dunkin' Donuts when they're trying to burn themin, bro. Shout out people sweating. And shout out
to everybody
that survives
out there
in Dunkin' Donuts
when they're
trying to burn
them down,
dude.
Fuck.
Dude,
shout out
to this dude
rocking the dreads.
It's kind of
similar with
that 16-year-old
with braces.
Really takes
some courage
to do that.
My only problem
with them,
they smell like
shit, bro.
They smell like
hummus.
Not if you
thread a little
bit of potpourri
up in there
or put a cinnamon stick
in each one
especially with the
holidays looming dude
you could throw a pumpkin
spice backsplash
on those fucking ropes
bruh
you know what I'm saying
make your whole fucking
world smell like a
damn Starbucks dog
you'll be fucking
in an instant
hell yeah
I'm gonna probably
sting the white dreads.
I just.
Sting them if you want, dude.
Yeah.
I believe anybody could do the dreads if they really want to do them.
It takes a brave person to do them, I think.
It takes some time, too.
You got to put wax in it and shit.
And we don't see a lot of Asian dreads.
Why is that, Kat?
Good point.
You know, I've never noticed that until this point.
There aren't a lot of dreads from Asians.
Has there ever been an Asian with dreads?
Huh?
Maybe Jackie Chan in that one movie, like Forbidden Kingdom or something. He had dreads in that?
It was probably a wig guy.
He had a wig, yeah.
I don't think Asian people can make dreads.
Oh.
Maybe that's why.
It just doesn't vibe, does it?
Oh, there's a couple.
Oh, Jeremy Lin had dreads.
Oh, Jeremy Lin had the dreads.
Linsanity, dude.
And he was a national champion with the Toronto
Raptors. People will forget that.
He played as many minutes as you and I, but yeah, I hear you.
But he played them, dude.
At least some fucking janitor
didn't score 40 on him and his
fucking chubby buddy. I think they did.
Oh, yeah, that's true. I'm pretty sure they did.
That's a good point.
He's played over in China now for orange chicken, so I think
we're alright.
That looks like Chin a little bit.
If Chin was more gangster.
That's a little racist, Derek, but whatever.
Chin definitely
starts to resemble a lot of other Asian men I've met.
I will admit
that part. But I think he does it by choice.
He tries not to stand out.
I wish Chin would grow dreads, but he can't. He I think he does it by choice. He tries not to stand out. I wish Chin would
grow dreads, but he can't.
He could if he wants to.
Nah, he's struggling with the shaved head.
He could if he wants to.
Now the Lord's getting us here again.
It could be, man.
Maybe the Lord doesn't want it, bro.
The Lord don't put a crop on everybody, man.
For some people, the Lord's your barber.
Yeah, that's true.
You have no choice to go to that barbershop.
Seventh Heaven's barbershop is open all the time.
For some people, 24-7.
Good luck out there, man, at the Dunkin' Donuts.
I see the fall leaves in the background, man.
It's that seasonal time.
It's a beautiful time of year, guys.
Yeah, good for you, man, with the dreads.
Yep.
We got a sale coming up, I know, on our merchandise for King of the State and stuff. That Black Friday. Shout out, guys. Yeah, good for you, man, with the dreads. Yep. We got a sale coming up on our merchandise for
King of the State and stuff, that Black Friday.
Shout out, Derek.
And you can get that
deal, man. That's Derek's Deals. We're going to have
a whole little section on there called Derek's Deals.
Derek's Deals. I love it, dude.
Derek's Deals. So that's it, man. We're going to put that
on there, Derek's Deal Corner.
You on the road anytime soon, brother?
What am I doing, man?
I got a show coming up December 10th at the Wheel Turn.
I got tickets going on sale for Red Bank, New Jersey.
The show in Sayersville got moved to Red Bank.
And Oxon Hill, Maryland, that show is back on.
It's going to be in February.
Oh, nice, brother.
Otherwise, yeah, that's pretty much about it right now.
I mean, there's other shows coming up, but they're, uh, they're going to be, yeah, they're
at Lafayette, December 26th.
They're already, they're all on the website, theovon.com slash tour.
I'm in Dallas this weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and the next weekend I'm at Wise
Guys in Utah.
And then just went on sale, La Jolla Comedy Store, December.
Get your tickets.
Oh, nice. What, what dates you down there? 7th and 8th? 19th, 20tholla Comedy Store, December. Get your tickets. Oh, nice.
What date is he down there?
7th and 8th?
19th, 20th, 21st.
Oh, wow.
Right before the holidays.
Yeah, dog.
That's beautiful, man.
You in town for Christmas?
I'm sorry, Thanksgiving?
No, I think I'm going to go down to Louisiana and chill out.
I want to go see a Saints game.
That'd be dope.
And, well, I'm going to figure it out.
Yes, sir.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz, man.
Great episode.
Shout out Carl and shout out Tim Tebow.
Shout out Carl Weathers.
Shout out Jesus.
Shout out JC, man.
Shout out to JC Walkers.
Yep.
Thank you very much, Kat.
Thank you very much, Derek.
We out.