The Golden Hour - Episode 48: New Digs
Episode Date: December 6, 2019Day 1 in the new studio and the guys are calling all rappers to send in your best King And The Sting rap freestyle. The guys talk White Rappers, Yung Gravy, Face Transplants, Clin...t Eastwood, Gator Bites, Mississippi Allstars, Thanksgiving Stories, Panda Express, Vietnamese Vegetarians, Women Proposing To Men, The Rock vs Stone Cold Steve Austin, Chinder Dating is Reborn and much more!1. MVMT: https://mvmt.com/kats2. ShipStation - https://shipstation.com code: KATS3. Policy Genius4. MyBookie - https://mybookie.ag/ code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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back off my broccolini get your life together don't touch me bro i'm not touching you dude
that's a new show ari the dark web man oh dude it definitely is man i remember one night he brought
a escort to the comedy store and she got in a fight on the front porch and got taken off
dude you can't have escorts as your plus one at comedy shows yeah bro that's where escorts get
dangerous bro when you get plus one oh i'm gonna take them to this wedding yeah this wedding and
they bring butterfly knives like they always have butterfly knives and high heels one of them had a
sigh one
time like that ninja turtle you know the one that carries that weird weapon oh yeah you're talking
about uh michelangelo yeah dude yeah she pulled she's like oh do you have any of these and she
pulled out a sigh and i was like she didn't pull it out of her tits i don't know most most of them
do dude where she pulled it out of but you can't't, an escort, you can only, I mean, I guess that's not true.
I guess you could take an escort on a vacation.
Oh, man.
Hey, you know how you know when your friends take escorts on vacations?
Because if you go to the escorts page, it's always just them on a giant yacht with their ass out.
Or just them, selfies on a palm tree.
Yeah, no guy anywhere.
Yeah, just nobody around.
Hey, isn't Ari in Hawaii too right now?
Hey, didn't Ari post he was on a boat?
Yeah, man, that boat looks very similar to his.
That's how it goes, dude.
I'd like to see some chicks that are on a catfish boat or something like that.
Yeah, me too, like real ratchet.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll pay or something like that. Yeah, me too. Like real ratchet. Yeah. Yeah.
I'll pay him extra for that.
Yeah.
I bet some escorts, if you tried to take them on something real regular,
they would be like, nah, nah.
Nah, papi.
This ain't happening, bro.
Yeah, I ain't going to.
You got pop bottles, dude.
I ain't going to Dave and Buster's.
I'm not going to bowling and drinking Bud Light, bro.
I'm not your friend. Come on. Come on, dude. We're going to do it for the gram bro i'm not your friend come on come on dude
we're doing for the ground dude we need some real escorts i'm talking about some down escorts but
they're not gonna be fine let me just your basic white girl with that box body you're like i'll do
it man yeah 200 bucks yeah 200 bucks in an uber home that kind of girl that's got four shoulders, you mean?
Yeah.
Dude, the Midwest escort you're talking about.
I like it, man.
Speaking of Midwest, the Kansas City fucking escorts, that's where I'm headed, dude.
Yeah, dude.
You could stack a couple of them on each other in a corner, bro.
Pay them to stand in line at your favorite barbecue place.
Dude, Derek, would you say earlier that you had lunch with Halle Berry?
Yeah, I had lunch with Halle Berry, bro.
Yeah, I know you didn't.
It was only me and her in the restaurant.
That is lunch with the person.
Hey, yeah, I went to a football game with Roger Goodell.
If it was just y'all in the stands, you would feel that way.
He was in the stadium.
Dude, I will say this.
Okay, now we're talking about.
And what really happened, Derek?
We went to, me and my girl went to lunch at our spot.
Where was this at?
Tony Ear Cafe, Mediterranean, really good.
Where's it at?
North Hollywood.
Okay.
So good.
We go in there.
It's our spot.
It's our regular spot.
There's a big black SUV outside, like the kind of rich people have.
And we walk in, bro, just Halle Berry and like a group of agents.
Really?
Just her and the whole place. And she's yelling about john jones and then i was like
right and she was like this guy you know and then that was you have lunch with well it was just me
and her she kept talking to me we kept making eye contact her nine agents yeah they were there
but it was it was us it was us it was my time. It was us, definitely. This is us. It sounds like an episode of This Is Us.
Yeah, it does.
Dude, I was in a restaurant.
It's hard.
It's broken in the end.
Yeah.
Now, were you, how many, what were the people that were like or with?
What kind of people were they?
White boys.
Okay.
A lot of white boys.
A lot of white boys.
So you and her had like an urban, did you feel an urban connection?
I felt something.
I walked in.
That's fair.
It was John Jones connection.
You guys do have the same skin color.
You guys do have the same.
You could be her little brother. Dude. That's felt like yeah we look a lot like harold barely
yeah yeah yeah harry barry yeah harry barry dude that'd be so good i want to see you in that movie
a million dollar whatever it is when that lady gets... Gets her neck snapped? Yeah. A million dollar baby?
I don't watch the end.
What's that have to do?
Do you watch the end?
Yeah, you fast forward through that.
No, I stop watching.
Right after she, like, is in the fight in the middle.
The end is too much.
It is so sad.
She has that tracheotomy, too.
Well, when you have Clint Eastwood, who's a severe senior citizen at this point.
Did you see The Mule?
Uh-uh.
Dude, give me my fucking money back, Clint Eastwood.
First of all, he's 97 years old.
He's still in it?
Hold on.
Wrote, directed, and starred in it.
It's just him driving on a long highway in cruise control, and he's apparently smuggling
drugs.
And then he has a scene where he finally gets to wherever the cartel,
and he has a threesome with two hot Mexican chicks.
I'm like, of course this old dirtbag wrote this, dude.
He probably stopped at a pharmacy.
I'm surprised.
Dude, any senior citizen going on a long drive is going to a pharmacy, bro.
100%.
Dude, a lot of times when you're a senior citizen,
that's like the only store that still exists, I think, is a pharmacy, you know?
If you tickle a senior citizen, they just the only store that still exists i think it's a pharmacy you know if you tickle a senior citizen they just yell out pharmacy i feel like a cbs code
yeah that's terrible of a mule
dude is weak speaking of mule and hiding something in your body you got a freaking
baby bro congratulations dude little dude is large and charmed. Is he really? Boston Jay.
Yeah, he's here, bro.
Boston, can we bring up some regular looking men, just random men from Boston?
Can you type that in?
He's not from Boston.
Well, Boston's an English term.
But let's see how many people are going to be able to relate to him constantly.
Just random men from Boston.
Look at that dime piece far left.
That's Captain America.
That's just Captain. Is it really? Yeah. Let's go America. Yeah, that's just Captain America. Is it really?
Yeah.
Let's go a different town.
Let's go right outside of Boston.
Can you pick a suburb?
Boston suburb.
Southie?
A Southie Boston guy?
Southie Boston.
Go to Whitey Bulger.
That's what my son looks like right now.
Does he really?
Yeah, he looks like Whitey Bulger.
How big is he?
He's a big kid, 99 percentile. I create big kids when he came out his eyes because their eyes are weird
they're like almost like a glossy like all like almost like a shark like a baby shark it's just
all black oh my god he looks like he's been through three tours of vietnam he's just like
he has ptsd i went what's wrong with him doc's like oh nothing they can't they can't really see
i'm like he's seen some shit lately.
Fucking tell me.
That kid's been through some shit, man.
I don't know what he did, but it comes out.
He's just like, ooh.
He's cute, though.
Maybe he came from a different spirit.
Maybe.
Oh, here's some people right there.
Some Antifa fights.
Oh, yeah.
There's a girl in green.
It's St. Paddy's Day every day in some of these small towns.
Every day, dude.
No, he looks like Waddy Boulder. Dang, dude. Patty's Day every day in some of these small towns. Every day, dude. No, he looks like Waddy Bulger.
Dang, dude.
That's what he looks like.
A lot of women with bandanas.
Yeah, there he is.
That's what he looks like.
Yeah, on the far right.
He looks like an old man.
Does he?
Yeah, he does.
Waddy Bulger's been through some shit, too.
Can he communicate yet, or what is it like?
Does he have a...
No, just eating a lot, dude, and sleeping. sleeping that's all they do it's all kids do you don't
seem effective i mean you seem excited but i'm excited i love it yeah a lot of pressure is it
a lot of pressure i love the yeah i like it what does he seem demanding or something yeah it's
when he demands or he wants a car you know dude give me an alcohol problem i'm like give one of those nine cars you
got dang bro that's for a gold chain i don't know dude tell chris d'alia to chip him off a few grams
bro chris d'alia is wearing that junkyard dog necklace that little oozy necklace
little pump necklace little bow peep or whatever that guy's name was that died
dude i didn't see you how was uh thanksgiving new orleans oh it was good man people selling
rain i mean the good thing is like if you start on the map and you start up at like
michigan or whatever it's meat and potatoes and the further down the map you go people eat
to the gist of just whatever you know people just spitting in their mouth and
just you know somebody else will try and spit and shit
so yeah we had everything man had a bunch of gator bites some dude really yeah they'll sell
you see these people with these you know like um canned sodas they'll come four six packs in that
cardboard thing.
Yeah.
And then you'll see a guy sell that, but it's just Gator Bites in there.
And it's just like-
Is it tasty?
Oh, the first seven or eight are tasty.
It's kind of like, you know, Chinese food, like if you have it fast, it's good.
Yeah.
And the further, like in the beginning, it's sirloin.
And by 40 minutes later, it is fucking-
A time with orange chicken
when i go to panda express it's labrador by the end yeah by then i'm like is it me what am i eating
is this dog covered in orange syrup yeah i think it is because i get the double scoop with rice
oh yeah just get the single scoop bro oh you go double scoop yeah yeah that second scoop is so
dangerous i feel like Do you guys know about
that, Kat? The older that Chinese food
gets? The older the Chinese
food gets. Or the more over time. It's almost like
that game show where it's like a timer or that man
with Mel Gibson or something.
Are you talking about Passion of Christ?
No. Apocalypto?
Nuh-uh.
Way further in time than that.
Oh, you're talking about lethal weapon lethal weapon yes
yeah pop quiz hot hot boy or whatever they said
and the further it gets pop quiz hot boy or whatever it is no that's speed bro yeah
speed or whatever it is pop boy where they tell the guy in the- Hot quiz, fuck boy.
All these booty boys down there.
Hot quiz, booty boy.
Too many booty boys, dude, these days.
A lot of men just traveling through the world butt first, bro.
Dude, that's a new man.
That's how men are doing it now, dude.
Did you see that gif of uh
what's named raja have you seen that when he's looking at that he's like the best player in the
nba right now that european kid and raja's on the bench and you know the kids like stand up
waiting for the ball and raja's looking at him like he's a full rack of ribs is it really raja
definitely like the way the dick tastes it's rayjean is it rayjean
what's it called raja like the tiger off aladdin get your life together
no wait to see the video hey that boy wants a piece does he oh his mouth is salvating wait
do you see this i think if you scroll down yeah right here it is look at this i've never looked
at another man like this in my life that i know of or that's on film watch this no watch watch
bro dang yeah dude ray john dude you change cameras don't lie bro change that r to a g bro dude that's what i'm saying everybody's a booty boy now people men walking booty first through
the world bro you got to go wiener first dude and take on the world i agree uh what were we
talking about earlier derrick oh thanks oh thanksgiving yeah i was oh gator bites dude
so these men yeah they have these little trays of gator bites and at first they're hot and they're like you know good it's like a you know just like a
mac nugget yeah but you have fucking nine of them that tenth one it's like you're like damn these
bitches got strong you know what am i doing with my life yeah when i get halfway through anything
i'm like what am i doing dude yeah they start biting back it just gets dangerous dude they
start tasting like people you used to know, kind of.
They fucking taste shady, bro.
That's what you had for Thanksgiving, though?
Yeah, so I had some gator bites.
What else did we have, dude?
A little hot sauce on them?
A little Cajun hot sauce?
What did we have on them?
Some type of gravy.
Probably just regular gravy.
Mashed potatoes, a lot of dirty rice down there.
I like me some dirt rice, dude.
Yes, we had some ven venison a lot of deer meat
okay went a little gamey for the things yeah it gets a little gamey dude no owl my sister usually
has owl actually a couple years ago we've had owl over there what else did they have dude
probably any pies yeah we had just a basic type of uh. What was it? Oh, yeah. Actually, it was a bread pudding pie.
Who cooked all this?
My brother's wife's family.
Hell, yeah.
And, dude, their house has been flooded a couple times, so you know they have good food, dude.
If you live in a lake, bro, dude, you're going to have something good.
It floods in Vietnam every year, doesn't it, Kat?
Yeah.
Every single year, typhoon season.
Every year? Mm-hmm. Mekong, Kat? Yeah. Every single year, typhoon season. Every year?
Mekong, right?
Yeah.
Or someplace?
Viet Cong.
Viet Cong, I don't think.
No.
Those are a group of bad people.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
The VC, dude.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sorry about that.
Joe Biden, that's who you're talking about.
Yeah, you're right.
And what is that?
So every year it floods and they rebuild their houses, right?
Yeah, or sometimes
you just kind of relocate naturally your house just kind of like floats away if you do i do the
up thing put my shit on some balloons just dip out every year that's what they do they just get
they kind of do they really set up flow have uh homes that they use like hands to keep afloat
and whenever it floods you just kind of float away with it dang
so you just kind of move involuntarily oh getting new neighbors that's pretty dope that's called
living yeah that's living man that's going where the wind goes you know dude imagine just cruising
out of town there's no in your house and you get back in if they build a new house the worst thing
is when it floats away and you're not home oh that's tough. It'd be tough to find.
Also, great way to get away from your spouse, though, also.
Like, I didn't know where you went.
Yeah.
So I hitched up with Mary over here. Yeah, dude.
Let's move it, dude.
It's that time of year.
It's Christmas time.
Me and my watch.
The holidays are here, man.
They're here, man.
And nothing says I love you like time.
Mm-hmm.
Time.
We got time.
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How was your Thanksgiving, D?
Oh, dude, great.
In the hometown, went to Memphis.
Opened for a band, bro, when I was home.
The North Mississippi All-Stars.
Theo, they fucked with you tough, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
They're awesome.
They're a big band.
It was like a huge theater.
Really?
They let me do 25 up top.
I was like, oh, shit.
Was the crowd there to hear music or hear your jokes?
Oh, they were there to hear music.
I had to wrangle.
You know what I mean?
That's hard, bro.
That's tough.
But by like minute 15, 20, it was like, you know what I mean?
It was in the pocket.
But yeah, the first 15, I was just roasting.
And you did 20 minutes.
It's 25, yeah.
But the band was loving it.
They were awesome.
Yeah, they were cool.
Yeah, North Mississippi All-Stars, dude, they got a song. Play me some music for me. It's called Drunk Outdoors, yeah. But the band was loving it. They were awesome. Yeah, they were cool. Yeah, North Mississippi All-Stars, dude.
They got a song.
Play me some music.
It's called Drunk Outdoors, Theo.
They have a song with your fucking line on the chorus.
Yeah, they put a line in it.
Let me hear it.
They love Theo.
Here.
Get under the dance floor.
Let's go get drunk outdoors.
If you got money, you can get a little better.
If you got money, get that hit better. If you got money, get that header.
If you got money, get a little better.
If you got money, get that header.
Oh, bro, they were killing it.
Were they?
Now, is this music just for white people?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But was it urban, too?
Was it an urban crowd?
No.
Hey, absolutely not.
It was me and my homie
that came with me.
Culture corner was there.
Two of us.
Just two of us.
So they were happy to see you.
Oh, they were really happy.
Dude, if you're a black guy
that shows up at like a white band,
they treat you like,
oh, come on in.
Oh, hell yeah.
I'm not even hoping
you're going to say good things
about them
when you go to your other friends. That's so true, man. Oh, come on in, man. hell yeah. I'm not even hoping you're going to say good things about them when you go to your other friends.
That's so true, man.
Oh, come on in, man.
Dude, hell yeah, bro.
Fucking yeah, bro.
We do like a, sometimes we'll do like a Snoop Dogg remix during one of our breakdowns.
It's pretty.
Sometimes Gary over here will freestyle for you.
Make sure you get merch on your way out, dude.
Yeah, fuck yeah, dude.
Right on.
Yeah, free merch.
You just dress the black guy up in whatever merch they have.
They did, bro.
This is their shirt.
That's awesome.
North Mississippi, baby.
What's up?
Gang, bro.
That's awesome, dude.
They paint your face.
They all went out in black.
That was a little bad.
He gets in a fraternity.
It's like an ICP concert.
He's a Kappa Sig by the end of the day.
Dude, it's so funny because I'd heard about them for years.
One of my friends had been listening to Norm Mississippi All-Stars,
and I never tuned in.
I don't really listen to music.
And then one day they said, hey, man, we love you guys.
And they sent me that song.
I've never heard of them, but it's cool.
Hell yeah, especially if –
They've been playing for a long time.
Grammy nominated, bro.
Oh, really?
What are they going to do?
I'm sure they sound real deal
I'm just not familiar with the genre
Shout out to them
They're cool with you guys
Cool with me
Gang, bro
Shout out to Mississippi All-Stars
North Mississippi, yeah
North Mississippi All-Stars
North Mississippi, dude, yeah
Oh, my bad
How about I strike up the South Mississippi All-Stars
See what's up, dude
No, dude
We're all white guys that rap
Boba Sparks, come on down Strike up the South Mississippi All-Stars. See what's up, dude. No, dude. We're all white guys that rap.
Bubba Sparks, come on down.
Dude, South Mississippi All-Stars is the Ku Klux Klan.
You're right.
You're right.
Yeah, there's a name for the South Mississippi All-Stars.
It's like KKK, bro.
Yeah, bro.
You got to start.
Text your boy.
I deleted his number, dude. Hey, text Duke.
See what he says.
I deleted his number. Yeah, right see what he says I deleted his number
Yeah right
You have him saved on your phone as
White buddy
White Dan
We're like dude
Pretty sure we know who that is
What did you guys do for Thanksgiving Kat?
I stayed here this year
Instead of going home
I wanted to
get sweet potato pie but after that last episode all i could think of was that your dick looks like
a sweet potato and i couldn't do it oh i forgot about that you ruined it for instead just the
cheesecake damn dude my sad almost i almost only want to take myan. It's crazy because since then I've been putting my dick in a grocery bag at night.
Shutting in the refrigerator.
It's growing eyes on the side of it.
Just hold it with two other potatoes.
The neighbor kid put toothpicks in it and put it in a small cup by the window.
Like, what are you trying to do here, guy?
Look at Jin, bro bro he's just disgusted
chin hate chin hates us oh dude it's crazy because hey how long before chin come out with
a lawsuit against us oh the good thing is he won't have any footage of us making fun of him
yeah to play yeah or he definitely won't play us saying the culture corner in court.
I know.
I love how we think it is progressive and years from now this is going to be the most racist thing anybody ever did.
Hey, neither one of us are going to Saturday Night Live, brother.
I've accepted that a long time ago.
Oh, damn, dude.
I'm trying to get on Sunday Morning Live.
I'm trying to work for the church.
Okay?
Not me.
I'm giving up on Saturday night.
I'm waiting for Sunday morning, brother.
You might have to replace me with shane gillis at this point
like yeah years ago uh did you make a a young mixed gentleman and a vietnamese girl sit in
the corner of the room i referred him as the culture corner think about it dude and then
ask the young asian girl if she gets sick of Panda Express halfway through did you guys
do that
now I didn't do
that second part
that was more of me
that was more of me
yeah
my mouth is watering
for orange chicken
is it
speaking of that
I'm having orange vanilla
coke right now
that is risky
I don't fuck with that
coke and orange
no thanks dude
is it nice
is it nice
is it nice sponsor some shit it's good no
it feels good is it nice it's just a coke with some orange when you put it in your head it
fucking feels good dude get you going dude yeah man feels like you oh it just feels like anything
could happen dude i don't really have thanksgiving meal my yeah what'd you do was born uh we didn't
ask you yeah let me tell you that guy That guy who's just like nobody talks to him
He's like well for Thanksgiving
I'm glad you guys, thanks for asking Derek
Well for me
What'd you do dude?
You already unstuffed that bird
Your wife had that baby
She was still in the hospital
That's a big old giblet
So me and my son shared a pizza
Did y'all?
Me and the three my son shared a pizza. Did y'all? Yeah. Damn.
Me and the three-year-old shared a pizza.
Kind of got sad now he said it out loud.
Dude, it's sad if you don't even just think about it.
It's way sadder just thinking about it.
Nah, kind of.
We had a good time, though, man.
Y'all did?
Yeah, we watched The Irishman.
He loved it.
And he also believes Jimmy Hoffa's still alive.
He watched The Irishman?
Yeah, we did.
Three hours.
Dang. He's three years old, isn't he? He still alive. He watched The Irishman? Yeah, we did three hours. Dang.
He's three years old, isn't he?
He loved it.
He loved it.
He wants to be Jimmy Hoffa for Halloween.
Does he really?
Yep.
Sounds like a hoot.
Sounds like a blast, dude.
A retired UFC fighter and a three-year-old watching The Irishman over a pizza on Thanksgiving, dude.
I'm out.
I'd rather my house float away, bro get some new neighbors yeah dude yeah if i live next door to you i would
immediately be putting pontoons under the edge of my homestead all aboard i'm out hey how lonely
were you on thanksgiving though at night were sending mass texts out going, how's everyone's Thanksgiving?
Dude, nothing's creepier than somebody who repeatedly sends out texts on Thanksgiving.
Oh, dude, get a fucking clue, man.
Yes.
Whoever texts me on Thanksgiving, happy Thanksgiving, bitch, you know I got kids.
I'm not responding to you on thanksgiving especially
grown men thinking about you what i'm not thinking about you bro with my family psycho
yeah yeah sorry about that man i gotta take some through at midnight and went everything okay
yeah dude yeah it is yeah i do tend to send some of those out every now and then
usually i'm asking myself usually it's a rhetorical question don't be so hard on yourself
uh dude i'm sleeping what are you talking about
hey do you think it's weird if i broke up my girlfriend because i cheated on her with a ghost
what the fuck dude me and my ex-girlfriend went to Shoney's one time on Christmas, bro.
Dude, Shoney's is so terrible.
Look how great this is.
You got a picture?
Oh, no, Derek.
That television just cut out.
Wow, we're in a new studio.
Oh, we haven't even told people.
People are tuning in.
It's like, wow.
Are they doing this from a floating studio in Vietnam?
Oh, there's our neighbors.
Yeah.
Howdy, neighbors.
We're in a new studio, and it's a little...
It's a little ratchet.
It's a little ratchet.
Just how I like it.
A little ratchet.
Yeah, actually, your camera looks like a deposition.
Like you're in court, and you have to...
Or like you're met with an attorney.
You look like Brendan Dassey fucking making a murder. Dude, you do look like Brendan Dassey. Can you have to or you're like you're met with an attorney like brendan dastardly fucking like making a murder you do look like brendan dastardly can you bring
up a picture of brendan dastardly same name dude hey nothing's better when he admits to
murdering those people and goes uh i gotta get back to class the fuck no little dude
if he lost some weight that boy's thick and permed his hair a little bit on the sides
bro that could be dude if he lost weight and had amed his hair a little bit on the sides, bro, that could be you.
Dude, if he lost weight and had a face transplant with Brad Pitt, we'd look very similar.
He looks like Thick Schwartzen.
That's what he looks like.
He's not getting out either, man.
He should, though.
My only goal was to get famous enough to make sure my name was Googled before his.
That's it, dude.
I think we're there now.
I don't know.
I think you guys are neck and neck.
Brennan Dassey is a huge following.
Not anymore.
Really?
No, not anymore.
He was supposed to go to wrestling, but he missed it.
Yeah.
Remember, he goes, yeah, I killed him.
Hey, am I still going to make WrestleMania?
The detective's like, hell no, dummy.
Dude.
And the detectives were like, say you did it's like i did it he's like all right no
problem thanks guys thought he's gonna get out you think i'll make wrestlemania the cops like
fuck no dummy yeah dude i like everyone blame the cops how could you do that i did this dumbass
admitted to murder, man.
What are you talking about?
Part two was boring, though.
That's true.
First of all, here's the thing, man, and shout out to everybody from Old Neighborhood.
If you are underprivileged and white or black and you didn't kill somebody, do not pretend you killed somebody when you go meet with the cops.
Yeah.
No matter what they say.
It's not going to work out, dude.
Get a lawyer, bro.
Or even if you don't get a lawyer,
just don't play, oh, what if I did it?
Because you're going to jail.
Don't try to please the detectives by saying yes.
Oh, man.
Let's get into this episode.
Oh, let's explain why we're in a studio oh yeah
so people aren't like uh did they both just fall off the wagon
uh we're in a new studio we moved over to a new studio in encino we're trying to produce the
podcast ourselves we're trying to do everything ourselves so we we were with at a studio malca
who shout out to lewis and malca who they did everything, right? And this was our vision.
This is almost like a digital TV show, right?
So there's a lot that went into it.
And after time, we just felt like we wanted to bank on ourselves and just kind of see if we'd produce it ourselves.
Yes.
More creative, more ideas.
And the studio's going to look different.
They should finish, what, Thursday, Friday?
You're going to hear cops in this studio, too.
So you know it's a little sketchier part of town.
We're saving money.
So that's really...
So, yeah, so...
And you've got to run to your car when you get out of here.
You've got to run.
Go, go, go!
Stay fit.
And you'll see Derek has cables.
There's definitely some dangerous cables hanging near Derek.
Yeah, cable, baby.
You know what I mean? There's a hole in that wall whatever Nick's doing with it we got chin behind glass over here so it's definitely interesting but uh we're gonna
come out we're gonna come out with some new new logos new logo new categories new graphics
in the new year we're're going to have new graphics.
New merch.
New merch.
We're basically better than ourselves.
We think we can do it.
Yeah.
And it just makes us work a little harder, I think,
and just kind of focus on what's going on.
More creative because we're kind of in cruise control.
Because they did, and they were great.
They did everything.
Yeah.
And we just show up.
That's not what we want.
They're great.
We want to make this thing kind of our project, our baby.
Yeah.
So don't touch me, dude. Keep touching me dude keep touching me but also don't fuck this up well i didn't want to tell you dude i took out a policy on you oh
that i'm gonna die not die but it's they phrased it as perish oh oh wow dude hopefully you got a
good deal yeah uh it was pretty good, man. Was it good?
Yeah, it was a lot better than I thought it was going to be.
And that's because I used Policy Genius.
Dude, you know what they're good for?
If you're a homeowner, you know how tough it is to find the right home insurance.
It's a beast.
I'm a homeowner.
Are you?
Oh, yeah, multiple homes, dude. Oh, dude, I have a cousin that's a homeowner, dude.
And he's been dating online, dating other men.
Dude, and interest rates have crept up over the years, man.
You guys need to replace your policy,
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And also,
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Oh my God, what am I gonna do?
How about policy genius?
How about that, all right?
Yep, my insurance policy
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it comes up on December 23rd, actually,
so we gotta get a new policy.
Good, dude.
And a lot of people don't realize
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You own a car too, right?
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You want to reshop your current policy policy head to policygenius.com you
can get started actually on your smartphone right now you could do it you go right now go to
policygenius.com policy genius when it comes to home insurance it's nice to get it right do well
get it right get it tight look man a lot of people bet on those browns this weekend
dude and they lost i'm one of them are you. I'm one of them. Are you really?
I'm one of them.
But I do like to make money.
I like to watch sports, football, NBA, UFC, college football.
Dude, it's conference championship week.
LSU, Georgia.
What's up, dog?
It's beautiful.
And you go bet on that Joe Burrow for Heisman.
And if you're doing a parlay, you put that as a piece of the parlay no matter what.
Yeah, and we know you guys like to bet, but make sure you use MyBookie.
I'm not talking about my personal bookie named Dave.
I'm talking about the company MyBookie.
Dirty Dave ain't shit.
No, he ain't the way to go.
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That means if you deposit $2 deposit two thousand you get an extra
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Oh, I just made a bet.
That's you getting paid, bro.
Yeah, man.
Ooh, deposit.
All right.
Yeah.
Let's get into some of this.
Let's see how this goes. We'll start with a little who who's more likely we'll start with a new topic boys uh up first this is kade mata it's our boy
the kate i got a who's more likely my name is kade mata i'm from cohoes new york that's that
upstate new york that necktack country. Gang, bro.
Hell yeah.
Who's more likely to win in a rap battle?
Spit a hot as 16.
I got Theo
because he's from Louisiana.
He's from the dirty.
He's nice off the top.
It's filthy.
Brennan, you read
at a third grade level.
I can't give it to you.
Third's hard.
Who's more likely?
Gang gang, buzz buzz.
Hey, you definitely
look like you're nicest.
Bro, he looks like he's the nicest.
That guy seemed like a nice guy.
Did he?
Yeah.
Third grade's fucking hard, bro.
Seems like Jihadi John over there, dude.
Go give me a fucking gyro.
Rap, I'll let you all day, dude.
It's a gyro, dude, first of all.
Gyro, bro.
It's a gyro.
It doesn't have a fucking... The G'sro, dude, first of all. Gyro, bro. It's a gyro. It doesn't have a fucking, it starts with a G.
The G's silent, dude.
Dude, the G ain't silent if you have time to say it, bro.
That was in a rush.
It's gyro.
Dude, rap battle, it's you all day.
You rap just automatically in your speech.
I don't know, man.
I don't think, I think if we had our actual rap battle.
Like a fucking eight mile rose battle? Hey, I don't want man i don't think i think if we had our actual rap battle like a like a fucking
eight mile rose battle hey i don't want to do that here's because i can't stand white rappers
b you rap everything nah bro here's like hey how's your beer you're like good beer is good
dude like just fucking just keep rhyming everything like All right, dude. All right, Bubba Sparks. Take it easy, man.
Dude, none of that rhymes.
Hey, G Sleazy, take it easy, man.
Fuck with me and get the money.
Here's what I'm saying, bro.
The truth is neither one of us want to actually have to do a rap right now.
No way.
But you've done a rap video. That's so scary.
Remember that one?
You've done a rap video.
Oh, yeah.
You did, too.
No, no. Hold up. I didn't rap in it i danced in it you actually had lyrics and remember you went buzz buzz in it too yes true i mean you have a rap video you're a rapper dude no you're a rapper
yeah i did one bad it actually wasn't even bad we did a good video man yeah malibu's most wanted
style it was of its time yeah shit was dope it was of its time. Yeah. That shit was dope. It was of its time.
Hell yeah.
So definitely, this one's easy.
Deal.
I don't know, though.
You're basically a rapper on stage.
No, I don't think so.
Yeah, you rap, dude.
I'm doing stand-up.
No, you rapping.
No.
You're driving bars.
We don't even have a band.
I don't have a band.
You don't need to.
You're just a rapper.
You're like Eminem.
Nuh-uh.
I'm not, Brendan.
Yeah, you texted me the other day before you went on stage.
I'm more like Reese's Pieces.
You went, I'm so nervous, mom's spaghetti.
What?
Isn't that?
Huh?
No, dude.
You're thinking about Chris D'Elia rearranging stuff in his garage, dude.
That's what you're thinking.
Who's more likely to win in a rap battle?
Maybe we should have one, huh?
I'm not doing a rap battle.
I'm white, dude.
I'm not doing it.
Bro, you would win.
You got to connect with your inner self, bro.
Nah, well, the inner self doesn't want to rap.
Ask yourself, man.
Ask yourself right now.
Do I want to rap?
Everybody wants to.
Let me check.
Nope.
Really?
Nope.
Nope.
Dude, is there anything more awkward than white guys rapping?
I think it's poetry.
It's called more poetry.
Slam poetry came out to give white guys a chance more and then common said hold my fucking weed and then
common's a slam poet the best yeah the best yeah i don't know man i guess is there any good white
rappers coming up there's that guy young gravy have you seen him no really white rappers let's pull some of his
beats geez he's probably the most famous right dude geez he shot out loyola university new
orleans bro we went to the same school wasn't he from the bay yeah but he went to school at
loyola university there's young gravy oh dude you know who you're forgetting little dicky
best white rapper by far I love this guy
You do?
I don't know who he is
But I like him now
Is that Jake Paul?
I think it's the dude
From White Boy Rick
Ooh he balanced
The orange on that girl's butt
Ooh I love this.
Gravy.
So cold.
I think I need a flu shot.
He's tragic, bro.
I love it.
Oh,
Ooh, look at that booty cheek.
I know, dude.
Look at him pose.
Them video vixens.
That's 10 million views.
That's Young Gravy, bro.
Damn, those girls are baddies who he's with.
Porting eardrums, bitch.
That's Young Gravy. Dude, red thot, blue thot. Hell yeah. I'll take him in a rap battle, bro. Damn, those girls are baddies who he's with. Porting ear drums, bitch. That's Young Gravy.
Dude, red thought, blue thought.
Hell yeah.
I'll take him in a rap battle.
I'll take that one.
Yeah, he's in, dude. Could you beat Young Gravy at that?
Absolutely not.
That's his job, dude.
Dude.
That's what he does for a living.
Here's what I say.
For next episode, we try to come up with a rap.
I'm not rapping, dude.
Come on.
No.
What about a series of words that rhyme?
We agree with that?
Maybe. Maybe, dude. Our own rap? Maybe we could do a rap together. What about a series of words that rhyme we agree with that maybe maybe dude our own rap maybe we could do a rap together what about a light what about a king and sting rap
well what about this let's ask people okay we'll do them y'all also send some in if you don't mind
some fans yeah for everybody um and also yeah we'll see how many black fans we have which is Derek
I love it
Derek submits
one rap battle
Derek has to put on
a disguise
so there we go then
that'd be cool
we'll try and come up
with one
and then
oh man
I can already tell
how bad ours is
gonna be
yeah it's not
gonna be good
what else we got it's not gonna to be good. What else we got?
It's not going to be good.
85% went with the Rat King from the Freestyle.
Gang, bro.
And shout out to that new Rat King t-shirt I got too, dude.
Just sent my mom one.
She goes, I want something to wear to Burger King.
That's what she said the other day.
That'll do it.
She said, I got you, mom.
Get that Whopper with cheese, mama.
Oh, dude.
Hell yeah.
She gets that Junior Whopper usually.
Yeah, with cheese.
It's a treat on Sunday.
I don't know.
My mother doesn't eat cheese.
Dude, for my money, there's not a better burger than a Whopper with cheese and ketchup only.
Fuck, that's living, dude.
That's living.
You like it?
A Whopper?
Yeah, you don't like Whoppers?
No, man.
Oh.
Oh.
It's like eating thick cardboard.
You like the Impossible Burger?
Huh?
Huh?
From Jake's Down Under?
What's that place called?
I don't know.
No.
Dr. Jack's? No, Burger King has the Impossible Burger. No, I ain't eating that.
Bullshit. It's a bunch of
phonies on there eating it too. You see the commercial?
Also, if you're a real vegan, you ain't going to Burger King,
dumbasses. You're not giving them
money because they slaughtered animals. Yeah,
that's true, huh? You're fucking idiots. That's a good
point. But dude, I think if the world
started to end, bro, people are going to be eating each other.
People are going to be eating animals. Vegans are going to be.
Vegan is a delicacy, I feel like.
Do they have any vegans in Vietnam, Kat?
Is that a popular thing or
is everybody over there? Vegetarians, yes. Vegans,
I don't think so. A lot of
pescatarians where you're at, yeah? Yeah, a lot of
pescatarians, too. Is there?
We're just going to eat fish.
Guessing by Brendan.
I'm going to call that out.
I used to be a pescatarian.
Did you?
Yeah, you can only have fish.
You can't have red meat or chicken or anything.
Just fish and vegetables.
Damn.
That was fun.
That's scary.
That's scary.
Yeah, so.
Okay.
Well, shout out to pescatarians.
What else we got?
We got a little debate club, boys.
Up first, this is Austin from Austin, Texas.
Let's hear it.
Oh, wow.
Aw, cute kid, man.
Hi, my name is Austin.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz?
That's awesome.
Who is your favorite wrestler, Austin?
Is it Stone Cold Steve Austin or The Rock?
Stone Cold Steve Austin. Oh Rock? Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Oh, my God.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Good Lord, he's cute, man.
How old is he?
Three.
He's three?
Three months or years?
Dang.
Three years.
Oh, wow.
That little dude is advanced.
Stone Cold or The Rock was his question.
Some kids are so dumb at three yeah very alarming to be
around those kids and act like they're normal oh yeah like oh your son's great and he's like
he's a vegetable yeah your son's basically a puppy yeah your son's just over there just hiding
fingers in his butt dude
kids do that dude kids love their butts once they find out about them
yeah my little nephew i saw him this week he just kept talking about his butt really
i hope he's fine i gotta leave the room dude i can't be in here they're like playing games
jumping on the bed at one point they took their one of them took their shorts off so the other
one takes them off you know yeah and then i'm like, I gotta get out of here. Probably catch a case.
Little dude.
It's like, it's two out of 19.
And you gotta be cool.
You can't be like, oh, you guys are naked.
You don't want to make them feel bad.
You know, you just go have fun guys.
Then you leave, you know, uncle Theo will be downstairs.
Uncle Theo will be at a restaurant.
Not here.
I'll walk through the house.
I'll get my hands up after that.
I felt nervous.
I told my brother you with the newspaper to felt nervous. I told my brother. Took a picture of you with the newspaper to make sure.
I told my brother straight away.
They both took their pants off and I left the room.
Had nothing to do with me.
Not it, bro.
Dude, I remember I was in school when I was at LSU.
And the professor, he said, he was statistics or something.
He said statistically one out of like, there were 600 students in the class.
He said statistically one out of like there were 600 students in the class.
And he's like one, four of you guys will be convicted of some sort of sex offense.
Is this New Orleans?
It's Louisiana.
LSU.
Shout out Go Tigers boy Joe Burrow.
He's praying for.
LSU, you mean 50% of you will be accused of sexual assault.
One in two of you motherfuckers.
Well, then he goes, and one of you guys will have,
will be a convicted,
statistically,
one of you guys will be a convicted pedophile.
And I stood up and yelled,
not it.
That's what I did.
People in class died laughing, dude.
Not it.
That's ridiculous. And a couple of kids,
I think were like,
I don't know,
they didn't even,
they had like no feeling about it.
I'm like, oh.
The one kid who kicked the chair, they're all, okay.
Fuck, man.
All right, dude.
Well, you'll figure it out, buddy.
What does this guy want to know if his son's going to grow older?
If you guys like The Rock or Stone Cold more.
I'm going to go Stone Cold because, to me, he still feels like a wrestler.
For me, The rock is transgressed
and more of like a marble just anybody can roll that cat through the woods now yeah and hey rock
quit taking every movie role we don't need to see in every fucking yeah annie he was in black annie
dude and he recreates all the movies yeah it's ridiculous man yeah it's kind of crazy rock is
mrs doubtfire how dare you, dude?
Yeah, Mrs. Rockfire.
Yeah, I'm not trying to see that bullshit, dude.
I'm Stone Cold all goddamn day.
He's a real, and I know Stone Cold.
He's a great dude.
Do you?
Yeah, real good dude.
And he drinks beer, and he just lives in freaking Marina Del Rey.
He's a good dude, man.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm a Stone Cold fan.
Yeah, I'm going to go Stone Cold, too, man. lives in freaking marina del rey he's a good dude man wow yeah i'm a stone cold fan yeah i'm gonna go stone cold too man uh i like any man that can wear a vest and also have his chest out like that
and i also i also like a guy who doesn't freaking post on instagram every time he works out all
right dude all right who does that rock the rock every time dude yeah relax i'd work out too if
i'm the rock dude i'm the shale, you know?
You're the pebble?
I don't know what I am, dude.
I'm the slate.
Why don't you get on the same supplements as the rock and then talk to us?
You know what I'm saying?
That boy is juicy.
I need to get on something.
You think he's on juice?
You think?
The rock is huge.
What do you guys think about him, Kat?
What do women think about the rock he's huge what do you guys think about him cat what do women think about the rock yeah
i think the rock was more attractive when he first got into the wwf i don't really find him
attractive now but i will say stone cold steve austin was the first white man i ever found
attractive oh really really did you like white boys i like white boys i'm just a little more
cautious of them oh yeah that makes sense a little more cautious but I like white men
I get what you're going to get
is there a general consensus that
Asian women don't trust white men you think
no Asian women love white men
growing up that was always
I'm going to say it one more time if you want I didn't hear you fully
Asian women love white men
interesting that's news to me
Theo you say all the time that you don't think Asian women look at you love white men. Interesting. That's news to me.
Theo, you say all the time that you don't think Asian women look at you. I think
if you grew up in a predominantly
Asian area, they'd swoop you up.
Someone would have trapped you by now.
You're talking about like Irvine or something?
Yes, Irvine. Maybe San Francisco.
Shin is shaking his head in the other room.
San Jose.
Shin's like this.
No. shaking his head in the other room san jose well thanks like this we need to get chin hits huh is chin married yet i don't think so but i'll answer that no we're working on it we're trying i see i want to do this segment chender
we set up dates for chin on Tinder. We should do that easily.
Yeah, and if you know a decent lady for Chin, why don't you submit that, huh?
We'll do a Chender segment.
Let's submit some ladies for Chin.
If you have a sister or somebody you care about that's a loving woman.
But kind of in the L.A. area, we don't want to do a long distance.
We'll fly a lady in.
We need someone who's kind of local for them because it's tough enough as it is for him
you know okay so if you're in the cal we'll say california yeah we'll say san antonio or west and
uh we'll go fresno or lower uh yeah see i would go i would go pasadena or lower and then uh irvine
or higher so kind of the la area because that's where he lives.
We can get him a train though, dude. A lot of beautiful ladies
will get on a train.
Is there any ethnicity that's
just absolutely out, Chin?
I'm going to say an ethnicity and you
shake your head if you're not into it, okay?
You ready?
I'll go, you go.
I'm not in this. Why not?
You still trying to work for Saturday Night Live?
Are you racist enough, bro?
I'm trying to stay out of this kind of stuff.
Why, dude?
Because, man, I can't win.
White girl.
You're in.
Oh, Chin, the easy one, the layup.
See, we're starting right.
Black girl.
Wow.
I can't see his reaction he went like this
what does he have three hands he went like this no he went like this
foreign girl okay so that means everybody else so basically mexican girl oh wow he likes latin a lot of neck motion what about brazilian colombian thumbs up
double thumbs do they have to speak english just barely okay a little bit
just to understand listen it kind of sounds like my hook him up my nanny really
what's her name is morelda oh beautiful name we call her izzy oh uh can they have kids chin
we got oh absolutely not wow chin doesn't like kids but if the kids are feet male it's okay right
is it what uh stripper you'd be cool with a stripper a working girl
no chin well depending you can kind of put up with some of it we're just trying to set some A stripper? You'd be cool with a stripper, a working girl. No, chin. Well, depending.
You can kind of put up with some of it.
We're just trying to set some filters here for him so people know what to submit.
People know what to submit.
They know he's a decent man.
What if they're really short?
Ooh, you like short.
Wow.
Little piggyback ride guy, huh?
Okay, that sounds great then.
We'll do a chender segment.
Let's submit some women for chin. Fans, submit for chin yeah and let's see what let's see what it
goes and king's thing pay for the date we'll set you up on the date oh nice huh yeah derrick's
looking fired up he's like i gotta take my girl out yeah i know man we're supposed to go out with
chin anyway you'll take us to korean barbecue oh dude that's what we'll do we'll do a double date with derrick and his girl and chin in this his new his new day korean barbecue okay cool what
about hey chin but don't film it with your fucking gopro the whole time and freak her out and then
edit it together like you had a great night yeah don't do that yeah don't do that chin you know
don't do that let's look maybe the third or fourth date would document it.
Yeah, tighten up, Chan.
Yeah, dude, don't scare away.
All right, let's keep it moving.
We got Chan a date.
Well, we got a plan.
Yeah, you got a plan for Chan.
Easy.
What else we got, D?
52% The Rock.
Okay.
All right.
Just because he was in Jumanji.
But still a surprise to come out for Stone Cold. He hadn't wrestled in wins in probably aji but still a surprise come on for stone cold he
hadn't wrestled him when sent probably a decade he's a classic he's the guy 316 that was him
right he grabbed the beer and go 369 what 369
what happened to those guys they get they died i don't know who are those guys i don't know
that's not 36 mafia how. How dare you, Kat?
But great guess.
I would have guessed that too.
Through the window
to the wall.
Same guys.
Ying Yang twins.
That's who they are.
Oh, they sing
the song the Saints use
at Stand Up and Get Crunk.
Damn, Saints are still using that?
Here we come to get you.
Get low.
Yeah, it was the Ying Yang twins.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
And what happened?
Yang got shot or something,
didn't he?
I think Yang went through a transition, then Yang got shot.
One of them is on HGH.
Young, I think.
Ying Young now.
One of them, yeah, definitely looks a lot.
They might be on tour with the New Kids on the Block.
Yeah, dude.
International.
I think they're on the Millennium Tour.
Are they?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They also, I think one of them smoked so many joints because
they had that whisper song didn't they wait do you see my balls yeah yeah wait do you see my dick
oh and that if that isn't a fucking rapist anthem dude how that became a hit you gotta question
america well that's what i'm saying it's just a beat him going wait you see my dick it's hard to fully accuse louis ck when there's also hit songs out there
wait till you see my dick yeah and then whispering to to your radio dude
they're giving you guys signs you wonder where they're at not doing good is what they're at
i bet they're doing great i
don't think so dude i bet they're performing at a freaking bat mitzvah in beverly hills man
and just don't wait you see my neck oh yeah and everyone's all hey yeah dude yeah
yeah yin yang twins do i'll be pissed if i showed up this party
wouldn't do dude what were some of their hits? What were their biggest hits?
Yin-yang twins?
Yeah.
We got...
The wall,
the salt...
Oh, shake it like a salt shaker.
Shake it like a salt shaker.
Oh, they did have
some kind of like hit.
Oh, my.
We gotta go.
Oh, they're performing
Friday, December 13th
in San Antonio.
The Aztec Theater.
Which is...
The Aztec Theater, bro.
The Aztec Theater.
I performed there,
which is where the border is, actually, where we'll accept gender dates from, ironically.
Well, we'll see.
Yeah, they had some hits.
Salt Shaker.
Wait.
I don't know.
Wait.
Say, ah, ah, ah.
Oh, whistle while you twerk.
Whistle while you twerk.
Yeah.
That was awesome. those guys are disgusting hey these boys these boys just create music to fuck that's all they were and then once they did all that they're like
we're all out of ideas they also have a song called first booty on duty the first booty on
duty then the next song's called by. Then other songs called pull my hair.
Yeah.
The twerker later.
Put that thing down.
The nerve calmer.
Oh, definitely.
These are just nicknames for their wiener.
I think at a certain point.
Them Braves.
What?
Yeah.
Hey, how about this one?
One of their biggest hits called take your clothes off.
God, dog.
These boys are disgusting.
That's what I'm saying.
They should start a podcast.
What else we got?
Dude, if Yin Yang Quint's on a podcast, that would be dope.
I'd listen to it.
That'd be dope.
We got some relationship advice, boys.
Oh, man.
Let's help some people out.
Have we ever?
This is our boy, Evan.
No one's ever said.
You're from arkansas have we gotten any response on
social media cat that anybody's had actually been helped felt helped yeah hey have you ever
followed up with anybody in relationship advice be like dude my life's in shambles i listened to
brendan and look i hooked up with that stripper and we have twins, man. I'm 19.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Gang, gang, buzz, buzz.
Thanks, guys.
Yeah.
Dude, we need an inmate to send in a gang, gang, buzz, buzz video too.
Yeah, we do, man.
A bunch of inmates.
The only response from social media is that somebody asked to have their segment taken down from relationship advice.
Oh, damn.
Well.
So we're not doing great.
We're not doing great. Just keep on trucking we're not gonna keep
trucking dude oh that's because that guy had like that woman handcuffed in the back he's like hey
man here with my wife shut up and uh well what do you think uh remember that we're like what is
happening with driving yeah the first date i think yeah the first date and she was in the back
yeah and then remember he like a week later
was a gay man my parents saw that shit I'm all dude you said we didn't ask for it you sent it
to us dude my favorite Brendan Dacity I love how it's Brendan Dacity now what was it Brendan Dacity
it's always been Brendan I love love Brendan Dassey, though.
Brendan damn Dassey, dude.
I hope he gets out.
He's not getting out.
FBD, dude.
Free Brendan Dassey.
You got to, man.
The king and the king.
We support Brendan Dassey, bro.
Let's start a GoFundMe to keep him in there.
All right, what do you got, dude? Dude, it's crazy because some people would almost say that's
one of the best things that ever could have happened to him was getting into an environment
where he could learn eat go to the gym talk to people yeah talk to get out of his mom's house
get out of his barbecue with his goddamn uncle who's clearly a murderer all the goddamn time
how about that dude if the uncle's not a murderer i will say this he frequents murders okay yeah it's a
little too fishy for me the other thing is part two is him pretending he was a lawyer trying to
prove his innocence i'm not trying to see that bullshit either steven avery yeah it's him
pretending he's a lawyer put glasses on it doesn't make you a lawyer bro he sounds like a montage of
steven avery sounds like somebody that would play for the Atlanta Braves, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Stephen Avery. Yeah, it does.
All right, here we go.
Jon Snow.
It's more Evan from Arkansas.
Tight beard.
Yo, what up, Theo and Brandon?
I got some relationship advice for you boys.
Basically, I've been getting in with this girl.
She's a little bit older than me.
I'm a young cat.
I'm about 21.
Hey, man, brother.
She's a few years older than me.
I think she's four years older than me.
But anyway, the issue is, and where I need the advice is, this girl, said female, has a few kiddos on deck.
Okay.
You know, I'm talking three kiddos, different ages, and a couple different daddies, if you know what I'm saying.
Oh, yeah.
And, you know, I'm just concerned.
God, spit it out, dude.
I'm not trying to have three kiddos.
Yeah, I'm not trying to see you father three kids.
You guys think I should just stop pursuing it,
give up on her before I become baby daddy number four?
Or, you know, you think I got to stick it out and become a man?
All right, I can't tell you what I did.
Dude, here's the thing. If she has three kids, bro,
she ain't stopping. That womb ain't stopping.
That's her thing. Yeah.
That's that. She got, you know, she
really has, that thing's like a damn,
that ovary's like a pitching machine, bro.
You know, that thing's just gonna keep
throwing zygotes down the spout,
daddy. I mean, I think
you could try to get the coolest baby out
of her you know if you want to make it like a competition with other local men in the area
i mean i think this alley cat version of wolverine should be happy that he found a girl
the fuck out here dude what else you got handsome guy where's he from arkansas yeah bro arkansas a lot of beautiful and not a lot of single women in arkansas they lock them down there early
they lock them down the razorbacks yeah shout out to the razorbacks dude shout out to uh
norman robinson remember him i can't think of motel six or what's that not that no i'm thinking of two different people thinking of the coach for the arkansas razorback i I can't think of him. From Motel 6. Or what's that team? Not that. No, I'm thinking of two different people.
Thinking of the coach for the Arkansas Razorbacks.
I'm trying to think of.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of a long night.
Norm Richardson.
I don't.
Yeah, I don't.
Can you Google Norm Richardson for me?
Who's the most famous guy to come out of Arkansas?
Bill Clinton.
No, I'm talking.
Yeah, for sure.
For sure, Billy Clinton.
And then your boy right there, Norm Richardson.
I remember him.
Oh, that's right.
No, that ain't him.
Maybe that urban gentleman
to the right
in the red shirt.
Who is that?
Nolan Richardson.
That's him.
That's what I'm talking about.
Look at that Razorback thing.
Oh, he's the basketball coach.
Yeah, yeah, all right.
Dude, who's he?
What'd you think?
He was an inmate?
The picture looks a little inmate-y, doesn't it?
Hey, he's either an inmate or I'm the new set of Sting of the King.
God, who's the most famous professional player to play for
or come out of Arkansas?
There was that dope basketball player back in the day.
What name?
Reeves?
Country?
Big Country Reeves?
Is he from Arkansas?
Brian Reeves.
He was out of Kansas, I think.
Steve Atwater.
Oh, shout out Steve Atwater.
No.
Go to...
Man.
Felix Jones right there. Felix Jones. Oh, oh that's right he's a baller uh
dick burke do basketball famous dick famous dick bumpus talking about dick butkus billy ray smith
cornelius what's up sydney moncrief no Cornelius Williamson
is who I was thinking of
Cornelius Williamson
that was it
yeah
he played under
Nolan Richardson
otherwise you got
Bill Clinton
hey that's our
famous razorback
Billy Clinton
it's so crazy
to think he came out
of Arkansas
isn't it
BC dude
I like Bill Clinton
I like Bill Clinton too
yeah he's cool
do you think
that Bill Clinton
when was the last time
you think Bill Clinton had sex with his wife though?
Honestly though, think about it. They say they sleep in
separate houses. Yeah.
They said even when he was president,
he had his own side house
for his hoes. Wow.
I believe
that. If you're president, dude, you should get
a couple hoes, I think. What do they do
in Vietnam, Cat? Do you know? What do they have in Vietnam, Kat? Do you know? Do you know what kind of
what do they have in Vietnam? What's the Vietnam
structure? Will you look it up, Derek?
The president of Vietnam is kind of tough, yeah?
I have no idea, actually.
I kind of...
I don't know. I don't pay much attention to Vietnam.
I know you're American.
I've learned that this season of the show.
Well, I appreciate you remembering that.
Yeah. Nguyen Phu Trong. Who am I thinking of? How do you remembering that yeah young food tron who am
i thinking in how do you say that ngu ying uh do you want the english pronunciation or the vietnamese
pronunciation because in english a lot of people say win or new win but in vietnamese it's wing
it's what wing wow it's beautiful i'm just gonna skip that we young food trunk and he's the
champion over there right now or he's the president hey the guy in the philippines is the
mean one right yeah duterte yeah he like kills everybody yeah yeah really yeah especially um
he let he basically told everyone if there is a known drug user or drug seller you can go ahead
and shoot them in the streets. Yeah.
That was like his whole thing to clean up the streets of drug use.
Did it help?
Uh,
no,
a lot of,
a lot of people were like just killing random people saying,
Hey,
drug user,
drug seller.
Right.
And just getting away with it.
If you're gay too,
they're,
they'd kill you.
Yeah.
Oh, my wife's a drug.
That'd be easy.
I saw a snorting Coke.
So I shot her face.
Almost easier than getting rid of your wife on a cruise.
Yeah.
That's American stuff.
That old cruise life.
It's getting expensive, that package.
You want to go on the Caribbean?
It's expensive, dude.
The two for one?
Yeah.
Dude.
Yeah.
And what were they asking about?
Oh, that was it.
He wanted your help.
You guys helped him.
We helped him.
If she has three kids, I don't know. What do you guys think don't what are you doing how old was he he was 21 not for you yeah
he can't even speak in sentences yet yeah if you're not ready for a family and you yeah you
have to talk faster too when you have kids yeah if that sentence took that long to get out don't
be around kids bro be an uber
driver yeah you could do uber man and uber you get to meet people and you can kill somebody if
you want uber you can get a woman there people are kidnapping women all the time doing uber now
yeah all the time damn women are really it's a tough it's a tough gig imagine leaving the house
every day i'm scared you can get raped or murdered i'm a little alone for a cat yeah even i'm scared
to get out of here can we cue another cop sound right now there was a window right there that's
what's crazy oh really yeah you guys covered it yeah filled in but that's crazy brother right out
there what else you got d we got a king of her sting it We'll finish it up with that. All right, let's do it. This is Maritza from South Johannesburg, South Africa.
What's up, Brandon and Theo?
Maritza coming to you from Johannesburg, South Africa.
Big fan of you both.
One of my guy friends recently got engaged, but his girlfriend proposed to him.
He said yes, seemed fine with it. So I got a king it or sting it for you. girlfriend proposed to him. He said yes. Seemed fine with it.
So I gotta king it or sting it for you.
Girls proposing to guys.
Thanks, eh? Gang gang. Buzz buzz.
Cheers, love.
Thank you.
Oi, oi, oi.
That's Australian running.
Where's she from? South Africa.
Oh, my bad.
Good luck out there, man.
Good luck out there.
South Africa is the wild, wild Africa.
No, that's Africa, bro.
She's in Africa.
Is she not in Africa?
She's in Africa.
It's Africa at the end of it, but it's South Africa.
Dangerous.
All of Africa dangerous.
There is some friction there.
I will say that.
Major friction.
That's true.
You got to deal with animals, humans, everything in Africa.
There's a lot of...
Cheetah, take your kit.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, even one of those strong willoughbys or whatever those things are called.
Oh, dude, them black water buffalo?
Oh, dude, in a heartbeat, bro.
Selling drugs?
Yeah.
Come across a fucking hippo?
That's what they deal with.
We got gang violence out here.
They deal with hippos and
fucking cheetahs yeah we're complaining about mosquitoes dude yeah they have bad mosquitoes
out there we're complaining about a little fire on the freeway and these people are fucking you
worry about the west nile virus dude think about that that's the top virus dude no wonder she's
saying girls proposing to guys yeah because they're dying every day.
So they're like, let's just do it, man.
He's like, oh, wow, I guess.
I like it.
I'm an indecisive male.
I come from a long line of indecisive males, and I'm surprised I'm even here
because somebody had to make a decision or a couple decisions had to be made.
And so I think if a woman asks, I like it, because then you can say yes or no.
God, I'm a little old-fashioned.
I'm a little old-fashioned.
It depends how the girl does it.
If it's kind of sweet and just kind of, you know,
is the right timing, I guess I'm into it.
But if she does CrossFit and she's like real bulky and shit,
she has calloused hands, and she gets down on her knee,
dude, what are we doing?
Yeah, I don't want that. Oh, no. if she like dust off chalk she's like let me talk to you for a second yeah you're
like uh she get done power lifting like i don't want that dude yeah she jumps out of her chevy
and gets down on a knee dude i'm out man, the more you bring it up like that,
like when it gets to the actual physical act of it,
it's going to be hella embarrassing.
Dude, if you're in a restaurant,
she wears a full rack of ribs,
you got a salad with salmon on it,
she gets down on a knee,
and all the dude's like,
what the fuck is happening?
And then she carries you out?
He said yes!
He said yes, and yes you're all gang
gang that's true man you turned me out on this one brother okay do no you needed to talk to your
friend okay i know that uh there's some exceptions yeah there's exceptions if you're in a coma or
something like that and your lady uh and she found
the ring you were gonna ask her and you're gonna die yeah that makes sense and that's beautiful man
but yeah she gets out of a you know truck leaves the truck running
and gets out because she has to go back to work leaves in park and takes her construction hat off
gets down on a knee and then jumps in the car and farts.
No, dude.
See you at home, buddy.
Dude, that's a man you're talking about.
No, dude.
There's some manly chicks out there, dude.
But there's also,
if you have an eloquent woman
that like ballets over to you
and does a pirouette and surprises you yeah that'd be they
can do it cute but yeah i don't know man shit i i quit crossfit because this girl's beat my ass
there i'm just not into it man it's not for me yeah i'm it's not for me either i think it would
be too much i think what do you guys think oh no yeah what the fuck am i talking about dude no way okay miss
no way you let oprah do it if you're a billionaire you can do that's the that's the limit that's the
price dude if you want to feel how americans feel about it do it at a baseball game see if you get
booed out of the stadium you feel like there you go you feel like trump at a fucking la doctors game
you get booed out
of that fucking stadium dude dude if you're a billionaire though the rules get different
you can do whatever you want who was andrew solz the other day he was talking about whenever the
president said uh billionaires can grab women by the pussy and how so many people were complaining
and he's like but billionaires ain't asking you know no yeah that's what they do yeah yeah have
you ever had a billionaire grab your pussy that's his joke yeah you have thousandaires grabbing your pussy yeah you
had a billionaire grab your pussy it's hilarious it's not really good i feel i feel like cat you
would propose to to your man yeah cat you're pretty strong-minded absolutely not oh i thought
you say absolutely no absolutely not you're gonna have a snake tattoo on your forearm and then pretend you're not going to propose to your man?
Yeah, but are you going to email him a bunch in the middle of the night and say, propose, propose, subject propose also, and then write in propose?
No, I wouldn't email him.
But if I really wanted a guy to propose, I would slowly and sept it into one of my friends to tell him to do it.
You know, just like slowly pressure over time. but i'm not proposing to any goddamn man no no you're waiting for him to do it yeah
if you don't do it like no you're gonna lose your chance i'm gonna find someone else to propose to
me wow it's that and if i'm walking down the aisle and you don't cry i'm walking the back
i'm walking back i'm not going a runaway bride situation yeah oh wow tears out of your eyes when i walk out down the aisle you might be crying because he's
you know it's over for him but still you got to pretend it's not and still and you gotta lie yeah
like i'm just happy to be here or you're crying because your life is over and they have a little
stick you can get you put the stuff in your eye and it will make you cry yeah tom cruise does it
wow so that's surprising yeah because you won't do you won't stuff in your eye and it will make you cry. Yeah, Tom Cruise does it. Wow, so that's surprising, yeah, because you
won't let him propose,
but you want him to cry when you come down the aisle.
I won't propose to him.
You won't propose to him, right, but you want
him to cry when you come down the aisle.
My boyfriend?
We're not too emotional.
Hear me out here.
Stereotype. Asians
aren't that emotional. I don't think we show emotion
very often but we are emotional i think we just keep it in a lot of the time you cry behind closed
doors they cry in heaven a lot of them that's fair they finally get out there and just let it go
probably feels good oh i bet oh so Dude, they are the masters of suspense.
What did you say?
Exercise?
Disguise.
Oh.
Yeah, maybe disguise, I guess.
I don't know.
I don't have any.
I didn't know where you were going with that. We don't have trick-or-treaters, and I don't have Asians in my neighborhood.
I have no idea.
Me neither.
Masters of disguise, maybe.
Yeah, masters of disguise.
Masters of.
What else we got?
We'll do one more voice.
Did the fans vote on it?
No, that was just a King or Sting it.
Okay.
The fans, I would assume.
I'm going to say Sting it.
Do not.
Yeah, I'm going to go.
Unless he's dying of cancer and can't talk.
Yeah, or if he was in a fire or something.
But if he wasn't in a fire and nothing, everything's okay and normal, I'm going to say no.
Yeah.
The last one.
This is Tyler Evans.
Walking alone at night?
Dude, I'm scared.
Make sure we do that one.
He's from New Zealand.
What did he say from the beginning?
He's from New Zealand and walking alone at night.
Walking alone at night.
Good way to meet women.
Good way to meet death.
Good way to get raped, dude.
I'm going to be honest.
While I'm walking alone at night, my head's on a swivel.
My head's on a swivel, dude.
Yeah, walking alone at night, it's very old-fashioned, I feel like.
Yeah.
It's kind of something that you don't do anymore because people always get killed doing it.
Or raped.
It's almost like you know the consequences.
Yeah.
Even the guy who's committed the crime is like, you're the one that's walking alone at night.
I was even going to do it, but I haven't seen anyone out here in forever just stabbing you yeah why
are you out dude you asked for this i didn't want to do this you knew when you came out
walking down ventura on your own motherfucker yeah you got your goddamn life it's so dangerous
but i guess it because here's the thing most people don't do it the only people still doing
it are criminals or people that are peeping toers or looking for drugs yeah yeah why else are you walking at night yeah bro you ain't
fucking walking for nothing bro what are you doing out there do you get the buddy system looking for
trouble dude hold your buddy's hand you're looking to get murdered you're looking to get lit up by a
couple of men dude here's the other thing i think about you do the buddy system same mean you're
walking down the street holding hands there's me a hate crime yeah you can't even do the buddy system
anymore people think you're gay everywhere you know it's rude dude and you keep growing your
hair out i keep growing my hair out i think it's too tranny's walking down hollywood boulevard
we're getting beat up dude no dude think about that make sure you keep that hat on bro what what just happened
basically you can't walk down the street especially you and me if we keep growing our hair out i think
if you gotta have a sword or something with you you have to be prepared these days if you're going
walking at night because everybody else are prepared nobody's milling around at night going
for a stroll if they are it's a setup dude yeah it's a setup they're looking for
drugs they have drugs nobody's like oh yeah my dog ran off or something there's none of that
shit going on anymore nothing good has come from walking at night alone either dude never
yeah yeah so richard simmons tried to pick me up one time did you in hollywood yeah oh that's
awesome man where at uh right outside the comedy store. Yeah, pulled up.
I was like, ooh, you a big boy.
I was like, who the hell is that?
And it was him in a white Land Rover.
We had a great night.
You're a big biscuit.
We had a great night.
Ooh, who's that big biscuit?
Okay, some energy.
So I'm going to say I like it.
It feels adventurous when you do it. It feels like you could do something crazy or something crazy could happen to you. it feels like you could do something crazy or something crazy
could happen it feels like you could do anything if you walk at lone by night and finally get to
your destination i love walking past somebody's house seeing like a family in their window or
something to see them living and they don't even know that you fucking exist yeah yeah
you can just be who you want to be a piece of their mail or some shit oh dude do whatever
you want dude take a piece of their fucking windowsill take steal one of their mail or some shit oh dude do whatever you want dude take a piece of their fucking windowsill steal one of their avocados or some shit that's living bro dude were you up in salinas
dude this family has avocados outside um you're going at night you're gangster dude i don't
recommend it bro get out there i king it because it's living and it's also you're going to be a badass if you do it. See the world, man. Walk at night.
That's it, boys.
That's it.
Well, hopefully not too many people walk
at night.
Well, they make their own choices, man.
Dude, new studio.
New studio coming along. Culture Corner,
we're going to get those cables off of you, D.
Thank you, buddy.
All right.
By next week week we're
gonna have some more come along bear with us fans yeah bear with us bear with us send in some raps
too send it maybe a we're you know we're gonna be doing a refresh of like some things in the new
year theme music we maybe get some more theme music you know just a whole new if you're musically
gifted send some shit in for us man yeah put some stuff in man send in maybe some
videos of just gang gang buzz buzz we could put some of those in the intro uh-huh people saying
gang gang buzz buzz yeah an outro or do something we're gonna we're gonna make new segments yeah
yeah we're gonna come up with some new segments one of them too we want to tell right now is the
name game so um what do we do where uh they they send in how many guys. Something you both can name and who can name more.
Remember how you guys did the cheese thing?
Oh, like a contest like cars, animals, potions.
Yeah.
Hats.
Hats.
Yeah.
Oh, I got this new LA Kings hat too, dude.
I went to my first Kings game.
How was it?
Hockey games are dope in person, right?
Bro, it was great.
On TV, it sucks.
In person, it's fantastic.
Yeah, I wish they would put another puck out there sometimes though and give everybody more people a chance because
some of the guys more action right yeah yeah i'm with that if for one minute at the end of each
period they threw another puck out so you had to really be on your appeasing you know on your
polar bear out there mix it up yeah let's get out there dude toss that guy out there who's
who's got three kids on the way. Hell yeah. You know?
In the dark.
Just make it all difficult.
Let's make it happen, man.
But shout out to LA Kings.
And the guy stopped it at the very end.
Campbell, that was his name, the goalie.
He stopped it at the last play. I like hockey in person, just not on TV.
Yeah.
It's opposite of porno.
Yeah.
Yeah, man. I'm not doing any of that uh you on the road dude
what are you doing uh what's going on yep i'll be at the wilter in los angeles on december 10th
uh i'm going to la jolla for one night actually this week but it's already sold out just at the
comedy store one night there driving down there yeah i'm just gonna buzz down i'm trying to
practice this set for next week and i I got this new Theo Von merch store.
Theo Von merch store.
Dude, that's a dope shirt.
TheoVonStore.com.
Get your big, thick friend of XL in that, bro.
Let me rock that, dog.
What's up, dude?
You need a model for the big boys.
Christmas is right around the corner.
Dude, you need a model.
You need a plus-size model, bro.
What's up, dog?
And then All the King and the Sting merch is going to be on sale, too.
Yes, sir. So that will be on sale all the king and the sting merch is gonna be on sale too yes sir so
that'll be on sale by the end of the week and we're relaunching some new merch coming up it's
gonna be a good time man i'm in kansas this week friday saturday next week i'm in new jersey
bargata one night saturday night only bargata casino that's gonna be beautiful man yeah i'm
coming to toronto those dates are on sale too now uh i'm not sure where it's at but i know they're
on sale so toronto's great yeah i'm excited's at, but I know they're on sale.
Toronto's great.
Yeah, I'm excited, man.
Buzz, buzz, gang, gang.
Gang, gang, man.
Keep touching me.
Onward, bro.
We got this.
Let's do it.
Thank you guys for the support.