The Golden Hour - Episode 52: Rodney King of the Hill
Episode Date: January 24, 2020WE'RE BACK! The break is over and the guys Recap the first ever Chinder Date and talk Theo's Euro Trip, Chocolate's for the Homeless, the Aaron Hernandez Documentary, B. Cosby Fri...tters & Falafels, Outerspasia, Future Segment Ideas and play all new segments, Sink My Ink, The Name Game and much more!Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/katsManscaped - https://manscaped.com/ offer code: KATSSimpliSafe - https://simplisafe.com/katsHims - https://forhims.com/katsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
you know you know i meant to ask dude is in in europe how things go dude huh how'd it go in
europe i was getting some weird dms were you i was getting weird dms dude everyone's like dude
i can't believe you do a
podcast with alanis morissette dude this is crazy they said they said her they said good luck falling
her man we don't know about her singing but her set was fantastic i was like what that's theo
come on england get on board dude i'll tell you does she bro. Does she sing that one song? How does it go?
The pill?
I just make out like one day.
Oh, no.
Isn't it ironic?
Yeah.
Don't you think?
It's like rain.
No, that's Jewel.
No, that's not Jewel with the titties.
That is Jewel.
No, Jewel's the one with the tits.
Alanis Morissette's the one that looks like you.
Yeah, everyone in Europe thought you were Alanis Morissette.
Really?
They were like, she's funny as fuck, dude.
Good luck following that.
I'm like, dude, that's Theo Vaughn.
Yeah.
And then how'd your cheeks do out there?
A lot of people are like, damn, Theo got that fucking junk in the trunk.
I'm like, I've been telling you guys for a hot second.
He hides those cheeks.
Bro, tell him for a fucking full warm minute, bro.
I got that J in the tray, son.
You got that roast beef.
Look at that, bro.
Get them two honey baked hams.
I got that freaking London B-Royal, son.
Hell yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
Put a little crumpet on them cheeks.
Did you?
What are you talking about?
Are you just saying words?
They don't like juicy asses in Europe, dude.
Huh?
They don't like juicy asses out there.
I'm surprised you didn't get some work done.
You haven't even been there.
Dude, I've been there several times.
Really?
My mom's from there.
Dude, I'm surprised.
Yeah, everybody's mom is from there.
Dude, it's Europe.
Well, yours.
You think yours is from Europe?
Everybody's family's from Europe, dude.
Well, maybe originally.
No, everyone's... Really, everyone's from europe dude well maybe originally no everyone's
really everyone's from the middle east if you want to go way way back not really dude you will not
catch me being from the dang middle all i wanted to ask is did you because you're juicy ass in
europe yeah because frowned upon there did you even think about getting some surgery in amsterdam
because it's cheap no oh is it really yeah get that juicy ass taken down the suck it right out
dude oh yeah i don't want that what do they do do you get to take it with you
do no they can put it in other parts oh i get a little bit of that get a little bit of ass in my
dick you know do you have fun though bro i didn't hear from you much yeah dude i didn't hear from
myself much bro basically it's winter over there so it's not winter it's like nighttime
so it's just like being in the nighttime for like two weeks almost that's winter over there so it's not winter it's like nighttime so it's just like
being in the nighttime for like two weeks almost that's tough so but yeah it was good man it was
um i heard they went crazy for you man oh we had a blast once they figured out it was actually you
and not elena's more set they were crunked yes they get like one leg is that us no her isn't Isn't her song, it's like... It's like raining. Oh, there she is.
Jay Leno, she's the one that almost blew Jay Leno in that movie theater.
Alanis Morissette?
Yeah.
No, Jay Leno. Yeah, it is.
I think so.
No, it's Pee Wee Herman, dude.
No, no, no, no.
That is...
Dude, Jay Leno ain't getting down in no movie theater, bro.
I'm listening to any of your ideas dude
sorry dude you came back from europe you think jay lowe's getting blown by alanis morissette
movie theaters they call it my your brain out there dude bro you look like a fucking
cinnabon that repeated third grade bro okay dude you look horrible dude oh my god dude
hey where'd you get your haircut i hate where'd you get your haircut out there You look horrible, dude. Oh, my God, dude.
Hey, where'd you get your haircut?
Where'd you get your haircut out there?
Molested Sam's?
That actually does sound like a sadly decent place to get a haircut.
I'm going to rub the Molested Sam's real quick.
It's that time.
It took a little off the top and it took a little off the bottom.
They always focus more on the bottom,
you know?
Yeah, that's my joke, Brendan.
Okay.
I was punching it up for you, dude.
Yeah, dude.
You're a little rusty from Europe.
Bro,
the last thing you punched up gave you CT.
So back off, dude.
Brother, waiting for you, though.
A lot of people were asking about you.
They were asking about Bobby Lee were asking about bobby lee
good looking bobby lee over there i'm over there in april and may but yeah good looking bobby over
there i said bobby travels over three hours to do shows he's like john madden of comedy
he will only take buses everywhere yeah he is he's like one of those like unique animals they
have to put to sleep to move it yeah it lets us unless they can slingshot him over there like a sloth.
It ain't happening, dude.
You can forget about Australia, too, man.
Yeah, that's a good point, dude.
Bobby's definitely more that sleeping guy.
Did you have fun over there, though, man?
How was the food?
You don't seem too excited, dude.
I thought you'd come back.
Bro, it was a lot of like, there was no was no it wasn't a vacation you're not hanging out i wasn't like i wasn't i wasn't like in a gondola
on the freaking rhine river i wasn't like you know there was no i wasn't at buckingham palace
like you didn't see the family jewels no i didn't see the family jewels dude i mean i masturbated
twice you know but i didn't do anything extracurricular.
You know, Ari Maness was with me.
He went to, he was doing all the sex tourism, you know?
Yeah.
We should have had him in here today.
He's excited about that.
The dark web.
The dark web.
Yeah.
He was on the dark web.
Did he get on the European dark web?
Dude, that's different.
I don't know.
Rebel.
Yeah.
European dark web?
Yeah.
Haven't you ever seen Hostel?
Yeah.
It's like in a medieval time.
That's a documentary, bro.
Is it?
Yeah. Is it really? I think so. i think i saw the second one oof it is crispy out there man
stay away from that darky web yeah oh yeah he's on the dark web so that so yeah what else i'm
trying man i feel like we haven't been in it don't you forget you're doing so much shit you feel like
if you ask me we've been doing we haven't seen each other in like i don't know five weeks what
have you been doing man i don't know i don't know, five weeks. What have you been doing, man?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Christmas?
I fired my business manager because I found out
you can't count.
Yeah.
Thankfully, you...
Thankfully, you had
the rest of us hire him, too,
a couple months before.
Hey, we all learned
the hard way.
You know what I'm saying?
Apparently, he was investing
in Ponzi schemes.
Nobody in here
has gotten paid.
Apparently, he was investing in ponzi schemes and reebok
new reebok's coming up now bk knights could be a hit i put my money on you right you right uh
yeah man it was good bro i mean it was just dude it was just like just yeah it was just crazy to
see everybody from just different places you know gong Gong, gong, bulls, bulls.
You know, just people with different accents, you know.
They make you feel good.
Nordic Vikings.
People had men that had their hair braided in big, long, double braids.
Oh, they're like that.
Man Vikings, yeah.
Real Vikings.
Dude, I mean, a guy shook his arm and a bunch of fucking snow fell off of it.
Real Vikings, dude.
Did they all carry axes?
Not in the venue. They could have had them parked outside that makes sense is that the same place where they are
and the girls are just blonde with fucking that's hamburg germany bro did you go there too no no i
didn't i wish i would have gone to hamburg i wish i would have gone to copenhagen don't you wish you
took more time yeah that's see the i went out there i think three years when we got there three years ago nobody remembered
they said you hadn't come about three years yeah also not sure chin went to me just me and chin
no opener chin would get on the mic go ladies and gentlemen i tell him to stop doing this he go
ladies and gentlemen uh you're the man you came to see he's my boss uh brendan chobb yeah the crowd was like this
but uh here's the problem i i want to say i mean you've been touring way long i mean so i don't
want to give you any advice oh yeah i wouldn't take any yeah makes sense you seem like you're
doing well yeah hey you seem happy so don't take any advice well but the thing we rushed
but doing well yeah we we rushed, so I didn't see anything.
I might as well have been in Iraq.
We rushed everything.
I didn't see anything, dude.
It was just show, show, show, show.
They were playing like, the fuck, dude?
I didn't see anything.
I saw the inside of theaters and green rooms.
And then shook people's hands.
That's it.
Yeah.
Yeah, but how long were you guys there when you went?
Not long.
It felt like a month.
It might have been like three weeks.
Could have been a Chinese month.
We went there three weeks.
For the whole tour or just where?
Three weeks, dude, that Chinese month.
You feel me?
How's that CTE, Chin?
Jesus Christ, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Chin-T-E, they call it.
Chin-T-E.
That Chin-T-E.
Dude, no, I was there for 17 days, but yeah, it was like, yeah, it was just theater to
the place to like, you know, sometimes you get up and go walk around the town for a little
bit.
And then that was it.
There just wasn't.
I mean, I've been to Europe before to see some stuff, but it wasn't like a vacation.
That makes sense.
Doing work, dude.
But a lot of great people came out, man.
I missed you, man.
Oh, thanks, man.
I sent you a nice text. You didn't respond it's whatever is that true i think it might not have
come overseas man cricket cricket doesn't work over in europe they prevent a lot of uh you know
there's a lot of like sex trafficking and stuff that's that dark you know i should have texted
sorry because he gets that oh he gets it all dude he's got his vpn open he's got his browser he's
got a helmet that's picking up fucking it's that blackberry oh dude he's got the blackberry he's got the super blackberry dude one of the blackest
yeah but at one point it was just chapelle lacy just saying numbers for him
so with an ipad it's chapelle lacy with an ipad that's his blackberry so yeah
hey man this thing won't shut up seeing green day all the fucking time
well i know what you're talking about.
You're my wonderwall.
Hey, man.
This fucking...
Dude, Chappelle, man. He's like Rodney
King of the Hill, dude.
He has such a country accent
for a black guy.
It's so strange,
but he grew up in Arizona.
He fucking,
he has Greek 182
flung to his veins.
He has a country twang.
It's so confusing.
He has,
this is my last resort
tattooed on his back.
Yeah,
they keep talking about
he has good
mat talk.
He's a cheerleader, bro.
They were excited.
They're like,
send Bobby Lee, man.
Send Bobby. man Send Bobby
Tell him we want him
We'll try man
We're coming
We're coming to see
Brendan next month man
We're coming to see
Brendan next month
So yeah
People were excited bro
It was just wild
To see like
Just different people
Be excited
They had
Yeah British people
Dude I was laughing so hard
At your story
Me and Callan
Were in studio
We were laughing so hard
He posted
Ari bombed.
Oh, he fucking bombed.
Because some material won't work.
Some material doesn't translate.
That was so funny.
It was so funny.
Bro, he bombed.
He came back.
Dude, he was fucking sweating.
You can see it on his face.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the best part.
His face is all,
dude, I don't know, man.
Yeah.
You're like, I was listening to him.
I had to turn it off.
Yeah.
I said, at least you get to bomb and go to a nice hotel.
Dude, when I was coming up, you had to bomb and fucking just go sleep under your own hands.
It was a different time.
Different time.
Different time, bro.
Oh, man, dude.
Dude, yeah.
It was great.
I mean, just hearing, you got to hear there were people like just like homeless people,
different countries, you know.
They'd be like, I'm homeless.
It's like, yeah, sure you are, bro.
Whatever, dude.
Not with that cute accent, you're not.
Not with that cutie little accent, bro.
I ain't feeling nobody, mate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let me buy you a couple chocolates, bro.
That's my big thing is giving chocolate to the homeless bro what kind of chocolate you giving out milk chocolate i don't
go anything high you don't go dark you don't do the 80 cocoa i feel like they've been through
enough yeah but you don't want them thinking about drugs like oh i got 80 cocoa you know i got 10
angel dust let me see what i can mix up see See what happens. I'm about to fucking, yeah.
I'm about to get Nestle quick up in this motherfucker.
You feel me?
So, yeah, I think that's part of the issue, bro.
Oh, man.
But we're back, dude.
We are back.
Street back.
All right.
The bros are back in town.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Dude, new studio is looking pretty tasty, y'all It's bad, bro
Dude, this studio
Looking
Stubbed this game up
Tasty, huh?
Ooh
Fucking cut my hand on that
Look at these bad mamas
That's a little bit of seed on it, huh? I don't know my hand on that Look at these bad mamas That's a little bit of seed on it
Could be a little bit of dried skeet
It is Nick and Chen have been in here
All night
I was up all night
That's how I stayed up
Were you up all night?
Yeah
Damn
Working on this?
Yeah
Really?
Because you had five weeks
I work on deadlines Damn. Working on this? Yeah. Really? Because you had five weeks.
I work on deadlines.
Okay.
We haven't been here about five weeks.
Each its own, man.
Dude, they were a real bee and a real rat whenever we started.
So you had to get them killed.
You had to get them.
Had to iron them out.
A lot went on, brother.
Dropped a lot of honey.
Dude, we're back.
We're back, baby.
2020.
God dang.
We're getting old, dude.
Yeah, we are, man.
Oh.
Just getting old.
Well, thanks for having me, man.
It's your world, man.
I'm just living in it, dude.
Well, I'm just happy to be here, man.
Thank you for having me.
Well, thanks.
Thanks for allowing me to have a hit here. I not allowing you you're having me here i'm happy to be here okay man well it's good to see you what i'm saying hey did you play quarterback for uh aaron
hernandez uh in high school huh what no i don't know random question i just popped in my head i
don't know did you guys see the aaron thing oh i saw it see it? Yeah, I didn't like the part at the end.
They tried to make him seem like a gay man.
I feel like they kind of squeezed that in.
They really kept forcing the gay thing, man.
And I didn't trust the young dude who said that he might have been gay.
Oh, dude.
Oh, it came out.
That guy's full of shit.
Yep.
Because the real dude came out.
It was like, that kid didn't even play quarterback.
Yeah.
That guy's full of shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Him and the dad were full of shit.
The dad was full of shit.
The dad too?
They were both ready to like
because they were like dropping like gems like everything was prepared and they had like
one-liners i'm like what the fuck is happening right now yeah the dad did have one minor yeah
he did they're great dad was that fucking straight cannoli hustler too he had a big mouth on him you
see that he did big bring up a picture of the dad do you mind real quick he spoke well too and the
kid was lying his ass off he's like man me man, me and Aaron, you know, we get done with practice.
We just go to his room.
I'd suck him off.
I'm like, dude, I'm not.
That's not the way people talk, dude.
Did he say that?
Yeah, man.
I didn't hear that part.
I listened to the whole thing.
Really?
I had the uncut version.
Yeah, man, you must.
There's the dad up a little more.
There's that piece of shit.
Up a little more.
Right there to the right.
Right there.
Father of the guy who experimented with aaron hernandez the internet's too much internet's undefeated dude
this guy looks like joey don't as if you look at him dude he looks very strange dude get you
a girl who's as loyal as aaron hernandez girl yeah this guy looks like joey diaz a pam right here he looks like joey
diaz and sam tripley had a baby um his girl was down though i'm hiding guns and shit yeah yeah
but come on not shocked about that really yeah dude he murdered her sister's boyfriend and she
still sat next to him you know gangster that is if somebody marry murders her sister's boyfriend and she still sat next to him.
You know how gangster that is?
If somebody murders my sister's boyfriend, dude...
You gonna celebrate?
No, I'm gonna hide a gun.
Somebody else already got murdered, dude.
I'm gonna do whatever needs to be done
to not get murdered.
That's true.
You could be next.
That's a legit point.
Yeah, I'm not gonna be like,
no way, buster.
That shit ain't gonna fly. You're be next. That's a legit point. Yeah, I'm not going to be like, no way, buster. That shit ain't going to fly.
You're going to get fucking murdered, bro.
Or you could just go to the cops.
Yeah, he has to hide the gun.
If you want to be a straight fucking snitch.
That's true.
She was fucking down, though, man.
Even at the very end.
But she was the baby mama.
She had to be.
And she didn't have much else going on, dude.
I mean, at that point, she's already cashed out with the fucking body eggs.
She's got the baby from the man.
What is she going to do?
Dude, his CT was so bad.
That motherfucker, they told him he's getting life.
And every time they talked, he was like, I can't wait to get out of here, man.
A few days.
She was like, the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah, I'll be out in an hour.
Yeah.
I'm just waiting for my papers.
Yeah, he's like, will I make it to see WrestleMania?
They're like, what?
Like, the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah.
He's like, I didn't kill Nicole Brown Simpson.
Hey, man, tell Brady I'll be there Sunday.
Tell him not to worry.
Dude, they're not even in season, bro. He's the only one there Sunday. Tell him not to worry.
Dude, they're not even in season, bro.
He's the only one running out routes in the shower, dude.
Yeah, man, it's wild.
It seemed like he was just, I don't know, like he just didn't.
Did you feel bad for him?
That's a good question, man. I did.
I felt really bad for him.
Here's the thing about documentaries.
It focuses so much on one person.
It gives you so much of their story that I think as a human,
you can't help but feel sorry for them because you're learning so much about them.
But if they had focused more on the boy, you know, the Odin Lloyd that got killed,
it might have made you feel more for him.
Yeah, it could be another documentary that's just about him,
and you're like, oh, shit.
Yeah, it makes Aaron seem like a monster.
But also, that Odin Lloyd, they said he was murdered because he knew about Aaron being gay.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, he wore the hat, dude.
He was going to out him.
Really?
So Aaron was like, cool, I'm going to kill you.
But who's he going to out him to?
Who even would have believed that?
That is true. Just that high school quarterback and his dad and his dad like i told y'all it's crazy right it's just a you know what it is is a tragic story you're just like that
yeah it's just right you know he was better than gronk he was
amazing player you're not better than gronk dude he's not better than Gronk, dude. He's more talented than Gronk, for sure.
Nah, he wasn't.
Wow, it didn't even take me a long time to think about that one, dude.
It took you a little while. It didn't seem like the kind of guy who works at a concession stand,
but he says it's closed so he can have all the snacks inside of it.
Should have came earlier.
Dude, it's 7 a.m.
Sorry.
Fresh out. Yeah, it says closed closed but you listen in there and you just
hear a bunch of fucking music going on and somebody just having a having a bunch of hot dogs smoking
in the boys room yeah i wish man hey we're out of mustard you're like what do you mean you're closed
i thought you just said you're closed i know we sent chin on this date
i can be more excited about it i didn't i didn't even ask i didn't even ask i didn't even look on
social media and i didn't want to know how it went nothing i've been saving it just for this
well i saw one picture of chin like feeding her and i was well, he's still alive. Well, that's a bite that I don't get.
That's what you were thinking, I bet.
You're like, damn, there's 40 carbs
for daddy that are going astray.
I'm taking that out of Chin's paycheck, huh?
Oh, we're closed!
Nick, what do we have?
What do we do for Chin?
Get us into this world.
Isn't Derek going to lead us into this world they went out
isn't Derek going to
lead us into it
he's got the video
I got the video
ready to go bro
you know what's up D
this video I haven't
seen either
Nick put the video
together
I'm seeing it for the
first time too
do we need to ask
Chin any questions
before we go on this
or should we watch
this first
I think we watch
this little sizzle reel
and then we'll get
the recap from Chin
and then we can
FaceTime Carly later
and see what she's got
we got it ready to go
hot Carl
dude that's the worst name for a girl it's not a good name no she liked it recap from chin and then we can facetime carly later and see what she's got we got a hot carl
dude that's the worst name for a girl it's not a good no she liked it yeah i don't know she did did you call her hot carl chin at all during the date i called her tito oh that's beautiful man
tito yeah tito so obviously chin has a little bit of that aaron hernandez in him you know
if he's naming women men and still trying to hook up with them.
He ain't fooling nobody.
Well, that's a gateway drug to homosexuality.
Yeah.
Let's call Chin's quarterback in high school.
All right, let's get into it.
I'm on the line right now.
Just kidding.
This is the first date.
This is the first Tinder date, right?
Oh, yeah.
Wait, real quick.
Kat, were you there?
Yes, I was.
Were you there, D?
I was with you in San Jose.
Okay, FCT. Nick, were you there? Yes, I was. Were you there, D? I was with you in San Jose. Okay, FCT.
Nick, were you there?
Yep, and so was our videographer, Mike Nell, who really hooked it up.
We threw together basically an episode of Blind Date with a three-man team.
Okay, don't brag, but let's see how it goes.
It went pretty well.
Let's see how it goes.
Let's see how it goes.
I've seen a lot of Blind Date.
Hey, do you mean Blind Date or to catch a predator?
I don't trust Chin, dude. All right, let's do catch a predator? I don't trust Chin, dude.
All right, let's do this.
Well, I don't trust Chin either.
I don't know what you guys are talking about right now, but I also do not trust Chin.
Or Chin-ese, as they call them.
Well, my plan for tonight was to do what a typical Korean night is, right?
So, usually we'd go, we go we grab drinks get Korean barbecue grab dessert
which is usually boba if you're Asian you know exactly what I'm talking about and there's this
specific boba that I love that I want her to try and then afterwards go to a karaoke studio
and get even more drinks yeah and then let me do what I think I do best yeah yeah
and let me do what I think I do best. Yeah, yeah, Chin.
Yeah, Chin.
Look at my boys.
Saying the same.
When was the last time you were on a date with him?
I think you might know this, but it's been a while.
It's been a while.
Yeah, it's been a while.
I'm gonna be honest with you, Kat.
I've never in my life ever been on a date
with what we would call a mi cheng.
A white girl.
That's the N word for white girl in Chinese.
Wow, hey, I was known as a cracker where I come from. How dare you, Chin. What we would call her a Mee Chang. A white girl. That's the N word for white girl in Chinese.
Hey, I was known as a cracker where I come from.
How dare you, Jin.
Wow.
So, Carly, how are you feeling today?
Good.
Good.
Are you excited? Yeah.
Watch the show, Brendan.
Check out the bobas on Carly.
Someone of another race.
Is that the same for you?
No, I'm not.
I don't really know.
It's more just like another date.
Another date.
But a little different.
Carly, bury your chin.
Is there any nerve in your brain?
Fuck this up, bro.
You're a freak, bro.
Put your pants on.
My friends have my location, so I don't know.
I'll share some spare ribs with her, bro. Dude, do not pull your pants on. My friend's having my location, so I don't know if people have been seeing me. Put your little dick in the way.
Dude, do not pull your pants on if you're going to break out that little dick again.
I don't know.
This is going to be fun.
What are we sipping on there?
Beer?
Bad idea.
You're going to be farting, Chin.
I love...
Dumplings! Hot coral! chin
dumplings hot coral
well there you go
hot date
hey
she's cute huh look at chin
is that a nose piercing
drinking
having fun
dude with you hit the elbow here and you'll hear like
yeah this is just tradition it's funny dude this is about how are you doing
oh and there he said a lot more room said, let's tighten up, girl. Oh, Jim's nice on the grill.
Jim, did you do an Asia style?
Make her cook that shit?
Not on the first date.
Oh, okay.
Second date to the 9,000 date.
Second date to life.
She's been cooking.
Damn, Jim running that beat, boy.
Yeah, bro.
That sizzler heater.
Oh, drip, drip, Jim.
It's juicy, boy, isn't it?
That shit juicy.
Grabbing that wet snack.
Yeah, baby.
Oh, boy.
Oh, Jim with that thrust, bro.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck yeah, Jim.
Post-date with Kat, here we go.
Okay, so how was the date?
It was great
It was great
So what do you think overall?
She's drunk
She's drunk
Your experience dating
Or going on a date
With an Asian guy was?
Oh it was way better
Than I thought it'd be
Oh man
You know what?
It looked better
Than I thought it would be, too, dude.
That's why I've never dated an Asian man or any man for that matter.
I mean, I'm glad we saw that.
And you didn't leave me alone.
So now do we do, does it go to like chinder after dark?
Is that it?
We have a sizzle reel just for you guys to watch in studio because we thought to watch the whole thing would be a bit much.
But we've got like a 12-minute thing that's going to drop the same time this episode does that you see a little bit more
of their conversation but but korean barbecue was the entire date so that was it and then we also
also have a little uh exit interview with chin here that might be the highlight yeah highlight
all right i'm gonna be honest okay i didn't think i would like her that much because she's white
but she's actually pretty cool yeah and very. And very funny. And sweet and nice.
And we got along pretty well.
What was your favorite part of the date?
It's going to sound really bad, but we sat next to each other, right?
And every time we would take shots together, her tits were like right here.
And as soon as I would take a shot, I would see it and they were just
I would look to see if they would jiggle.
Well, we lost today.
If they would jiggle?
We lost.
No, you lost. We've been winning the entire game and you threw the only way-
We can't hear him!
You fumbled!
I'm honest.
Because today I was supposed to go karaoke with her too.
And then I think it was just so perfect that we should just leave this alone
and then do a second date with karaoke.
And then also, I hope she wears something low top
because that was part of the date.
I lost the game.
Okay, that's perfect.
Thank you.
That's all well.
Good job, Kat.
Thanks.
That's nice.
Oh, man. That was fantastic. How about that chender, Thanks. That's nice. Oh, man.
Man, that was fantastic.
How about that chender, huh?
That was great.
Good job, Kat.
Good job, Nick.
Chin.
Thank you.
You know, you were winning all three quarters.
We got in the fourth.
You panicked, dude.
I know.
Honestly.
Why didn't things escalate?
Because it seemed like you guys had a nice time at the dinner.
Y'all was doing the meat and everything.
Somebody had you had two or three types of meat out there.
She was on the wobbly pop.
She's laughing.
Wobbly, for sure.
Yeah.
So why not take it to karaoke?
And we get that night vision out, dog.
Or bari-oke, where you guys get bare naked, huh?
I mean, if we went to karaoke, I know for, oh, first of all, ending it that way was probably perfect.
Like, you know.
Oh, yeah.
You're at a peak of like, it's awesome.
So end it there.
And then if we were karaoke, I know what I could do there.
Yeah.
And then stuff could happen after that.
Yeah, those sweater puppies would kill me.
I'm not going to have you guys film me after karaoke.
Yeah, dude.
I mean, you could film that on your own.
Yeah, you could do something with it.
Yeah, we could do a drawing of it.
I would do it for you.
Nick?
Dinner was two hours and 20 minutes, too.
Like, they just kept, we, Kat, Mike, and I all ate Korean barbecue at the same time, and we were done like an hour in, and they just kept had food and drinks coming out.
Like, they had a blast.
And after the date, Carly just kept saying, I'm down for anything.
I'm down for anything.
But she wasn't down for chin-y thing,
bro.
Yes, she was. Yes, she was.
Dude, he fumbled.
Of course he fumbled, dude.
He's dressed like George Michael, dude,
at a funeral. Of course
he fumbled, dude.
He looks like somebody that plays a keyboard
on a late
night television show.
Of course he fumbled
bro chin is one step away from a deaf guy okay dude of course he fumbled dude he didn't have any arms dude he was carrying the ball in his mouth of course
he fumbled
I'm so disappointed
I'm disappointed
it was great
hot car was so down dude
and your super power
is singing
you didn't get there
but no
I think you played
a smart move
be good
be gone
that's the move
you do well
you do
and you get out
you were there Kat
you were on the front lines
I was
what was the female perspective of this of this little Vietnam and you get out. You were there, Kat. You were on the front lines. I was. On the front lines.
What was the female perspective of this little Vietnam,
because they ate for two hours.
Hey, who paid for this thing?
Did we pay for it?
Hopefully we did.
Did we?
I'll give you the receipts later.
Okay.
Oh, wow.
It was good.
Chin was killing it in the beginning.
Yeah.
And then-
He lost energy, right?
No, it wasn't that.
She's going to tell us.
He got a little too much energy towards the end in the post-interview like you said but to be fair
she also was very tipsy she was down to have like not just a good night but maybe like a good morning
if they're they went to karaoke what a good good girl. She was fun. What a positive attitude. She told me on her Uber ride.
Do we have an exit interview with her?
Yeah, we had a part of it in that clip, actually.
That'll be in the longer thing on YouTube.
You can check it out.
Yeah, and we can talk to her.
We can go straight to her.
We can FaceTime her.
We can.
She's not at work.
She's not at work?
Obviously, she's still recovering from the ghb meat that chin was serving over there dude
okay she's coming from that fucking beef teriyaki dipped in night quill chin over there freaking
beef scary dude so where am i this tastes familiar that is this nyquil that beef very sleepy chin was
serving her dude damn boy melatonin chicken aren't you
chin over there serving those uh bill cosby fucking skewers baby yeah then b cosby fritters
over there grilling up huh b cos. Grilling up, huh?
B Cosby falafels, baby.
On a pillow of rice, dude.
A huge pillow of rice.
Basically on a bed.
What are we going to talk to her about first?
Let's just don't call her blindly, dude.
God, you suck with women.
Yeah, you have to.
Remember last time?
Remember last time?
We were all, do you like TV?
Yeah, because I want to be prepared.
Okay?
We just saw what happens when you don't prepare and go out with somebody.
Well, I didn't know he was going to talk about her tits.
God damn it, Chin.
I thought it was going to be real cute.
Chin was like, yeah, all I was thinking the whole time is as soon as she would cheers me,
her fucking tits would squeeze together in my mouth, man.
Everyone's all, what the fuck is happening right now?
The real Chin came out.
Chin shady.
Yeah, so what are we going to talk to her about?
Chopsticks.
Yeah, we're going to say how was the evening?
Okay, well, here's the thing.
Let's see what she thought of Chin.
Would she go on a second date?
That's what we need to find out.
Did she have fun?
Where did he mess up?
Did you go on a date after that?
Did you have a friend pick you up from there?
Did you go do some other karaoke?
Wow.
Yeah, she might have.
Maybe she had a late night man.
Or she was like, I was down for more.
And then Chin just took off talking about some bullshit that he had to go do sing in his bedroom.
So I had my friend pick me up.
Yeah, we sent her in an Uber home.
And it was going to the address she gave she was originally picked up at.
But she has to take a detour.
And she ended up going to Newport Beach.
She partied more that night.
Who knows?
Did she really?
Yeah, yeah, she did.
What a good guy.
Wow, let's see how this ended up being.
Because Chin might have just really. jim's the jason kid to get nasty he might have had an assist bro
let's see what we got right here lob city you feel me it's lob city over there bro i'll tell
you what i'm on right now man can i tell you my problem before you tell me yours can i tell my
problem okay i can't get enough greens man man. You can't? I take spinach.
And I take broccoli.
And it's just so much work.
It sounds like it, man.
That's not how you do it, man.
You got to boil it or cook it now.
I don't know, man.
Or you know what you need, man?
Athletic greens, bro.
What are you talking about?
You think I'm talking about aliens that do track and field?
Yeah.
No, dude.
I'm talking about Athletic Greens.
It's the ultimate daily all-in-one health drink.
It has 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole-sourced ingredients that make it easier for you to get comprehensive nutrition without the need for pills, powders, and complex routines, man.
Wow.
It's the most complete supplement for a better you.
Wow, no capsules?
Bro, I take it every morning.
You mix it in, you throw a little deal,
it comes in this nice little dealy deal.
One scoop of Athletic Greens provides convenient,
affordable, and tasty solution to fill the gaps in your diet.
Dude, I'm going to die right now.
You know me, I struggle with my weight, dude.
I'm sick.
I stay sick, dude.
Definitely, bro.
Definitely.
I'll drink gravy if you leave it out. Dude, now i'm on athletic greens every time i walk by you i hear an oven
i hear an oven yes go off i got you damn the biscuits are done huh cinnabons
toasty bro not anymore bro jokes on you because i take athletic greens all right
yeah oh really start every day with athletic greens i've been fooling i've been fooling you the whole time why do you think my energy's through the roof
why do you think why do you think i'm never sick my gut health is fantastic oh yeah that's probably
why because of athletic greens no joke athletic greens i take it every day i'm getting my mother
some as a gift it's gluten-free it's dairy-free it's vegan friendly no harmful chemicals no
pesticides so if you got worms or something like that bro you still can keep them bro it's not going to kill them man give them a deal how
about that how about that you want to be healthy you want a healthier lifestyle maybe an athlete
try to find a little edge hit them i got the deal for you give them that athletic greens.com
slash k-a-t-s get the cats get the cats get cats. And claim my special offer today. 20 free travel packs valued at $79 with your first purchase.
That's athleticgreens.com slash K-A-T-S.
Get the cats, get the cats, get the cats.
Greenies.
Look, we hate to interrupt it, but something has to be done, man.
I'm sick of this Bush, dude.
I have a giant Bush, like a 74.
Oh, I thought you were talking about the 94 election.
Oh, no, no.
You're talking about George Bush?
No.
I'm talking about this bush.
Oh, damn, yeah.
Oh, dude, yeah, bro.
You got that.
It looks like George Bush's neck with an afro.
Here's the thing.
You got that George Clinton growing around your junk, dude.
Not anymore, bro, because there's a new trimmer just released moments ago
yeah i'm talking about the lawnmower 3.0 manscaping trimmer it's available for purchase right now
yep this third generation manscape trimmer features a cutting edge ceramic blade to prevent
manscaping accidents so many people out there dude a lot of times if you put your ear out of
a car window you could hear somebody nick their nuts over 70 miles away yeah i'm talking about a real proper premium nut cutter
a mean premium the battery will last up to 90 minutes well they don't take that long but you
never know dude but how beautiful is it to be cut trimming around your freaking junk for 90
minutes dude you're like pablo prick casso at that point dude you tighten
it up that freaking body blade son yeah tighten it up and get 20 off and free shipping with the
code kats at manscape.com and as always your balls will thank you yep get 20 off and free
shipping with the code kats at manscape.com that's 20 off with free shipping manscape.com
use code cats and one of the coolest new features that they have is the LED light,
so you can groom your crotch in the dark.
Do it in the dark.
That's what I'm saying, dude.
Do it like the bats do it.
Get risky, dude, like Bear Grylls, bro.
Yeah, dog.
Do it like the owls.
Yeah.
There you go.
Make sure I look nice in the dark.
Damn, girl, you ain't at work, girl.
Maybe she is at work. She got to have a meeting at 1150. What's work, girl? Maybe she is at work.
She got to have a meeting at 11.50.
What's up, girl?
Hey.
How you doing?
You're so cool.
Are you hungover right now?
No.
Oh, she looks nice, man.
She's not hungover.
No, I think she looks nice.
She could also be hungover as well.
She can't be drinking at work.
We just saw the date.
she could also be hungover as well.
She can't be drinking at work.
We just saw the date.
First of all, thank you for going with Chin.
Yeah, you're a good sport.
Oh, yeah. No, honestly, it was a lot of fun.
Yeah, it seemed like you guys had a lot of...
Chemistry. Yes, and liquor.
And beef.
Yeah.
What did you enjoy about the evening everything
honestly it was really
it was an easy date
hangout thing
it wasn't
I don't know it wasn't weird
I thought it might be
because I didn't talk to it yeah well so i mean like i
said i didn't really know too much about your guys like podcast and who you guys are until
my friend sent me in and so i was reading people's comments on like youtube and instagram and stuff
and so i was like why is everyone calling this guy like a murderer don't read youtube comments girl that's
not gonna help you so i obviously took it with a grain of salt because i mean i have a ton of
friends that are guys so i can get guy talk but then so i was like okay whatever and then when he
would text me like two days before i was like oh this guy seems really normal. So I was like nervous going into it.
And I'm a pretty social person.
So I wasn't really afraid.
It was kind of just normal.
Yeah, it seemed like you guys had a really nice time.
It seemed like everybody had a really nice time.
It went way better than we thought.
I got to be honest.
We thought you were going to show up with bodyguards.
Well, I thought about it.
I did talk to a couple of my friends.
They were like, okay, when it happens, we'll stake out at the bar.
That's smart.
And then they ended up not coming.
Is that your first time getting Korean barbecue?
It was my second.
Yeah.
I knew it.
It was good.
I knew it.
It's kind of what you think it would be.
I don't know.
Yeah, I hear you.
I'm not that big of a fan but
And now
We also had a question for you
Brendan
Oh
So it seemed like you're having a great time afterwards
And
And maybe you guys were gonna do karaoke
Then Chim was like
I gotta go
And took off
And then did you
What did you do after dinner?
I went and met up with some friends.
Hell yeah.
They were one of my best friends.
This girl was in town.
Sounds like a guy.
So we went and I met up with them.
I was like, okay, well, they're out.
I'll go hang out with them.
Why not?
And did they ask you about the date?
What did you tell them?
What was your first response to them?
Well, I was texting them and I was like, no, it was really fun. It was normal. I did tell them and I was like, no, it was really
fun. It was normal.
I did tell them. I was like, oh, it was funny.
We did pre and post interviews
and stuff. And they were just dying at it.
They thought it was the funniest thing.
Had you ever...
And this was the first time you'd ever been out with a Mongol, right?
It's a legit question.
Right?
It's a legit question. Yeah. Them legit question uh yeah them gangas con vibes you feel
me no i look i think it's brave you know some people are brave or afraid to date out you know
just date somebody that's any different than them especially somebody that's from not only from asia
but from outer spasia like our unique man chin here but no it seemed like you guys had a great
time um he was he was curious i mean i'll let him ask you but this is just me kind of i guess
asking for him would you be down to do a second date some karaoke because that's where he really
shines i know well i was honestly kind of thankful slightly that we didn't do karaoke only because, like,
I mean, I didn't do, like, a ton of research, but I know, like, he can sing and stuff.
And then before, and Kat was like, oh, yeah, no, he's, like, really good.
And I was like, okay, shit.
Like, this is going to be really bad.
Yeah.
Well, what's something that you're good at, like, an extracurricular thing or capability?
Oh, no.
Like, I'm totally fine with karaoke.
I'm just really bad at it.
That's fine.
So you could use somebody to teach you probably a little something.
Show you the rope.
Who brings his guitar?
Ropes.
Sorry.
Just one rope, not two.
Yeah, show you the ropes.
Show you the rope.
Karaoke would be fine.
I think I would be down to go and go karaoke and hang out.
I mean, romantically speaking, I'm not sure.
But he was really fun and well and my company
romantic you're just not your type is it but what is it because he's a big handsome dude tall dude
chicks dig him i yeah he's really tall i'm really short are you really short you look tall
in the video I saw recently.
Just now.
You look tall enough.
How tall are you?
You keep talking.
5'3 standard.
Oh, yeah, 5'3 is a good height.
Yeah, anything could happen.
Yeah, 5'3 standard.
I can't reach the top of the cabinet.
You can shop anywhere, though. Yeah, you can still do stuff.
Nobody looks weird if you're outdoors or anything.
You don't look like, oh, you shouldn't be out here.
You're not tiny.
That's 4'11 and under. People are like, what's going on? Where's your folks all the time? You know, you're like or anything you don't look like oh you shouldn't be out here that's 4 11 and under people are like what's going on where's your folks all the time you know you're like i'm
40 what do you mean but what what points what points would you give chin if we continue to do
uh dates with him what do you where does he go wrong now is it and now is it a thing where just
because he's asian maybe that's not your flavor which is fine. I don't like shrimp flavor in Top Ramen.
No, I'm not like that.
I mean, I'm 25,
so 42
is a little... You're 42, Chin?
Yeah. Jesus Christ!
I didn't know that you tried that.
Dude, hey, where's Chris Hansen?
You want to have a seat?
I'm so sorry, Carly.
I want to apologize, too.
I had no idea that we were sending you out with one of your dad's friends.
I didn't know we were sitting out with your dad's coworkers.
The fucking barbecue.
Of course you're not going to do karaoke with them.
But no.
God, what's next?
A date with fucking Jerryerry garcia we apologize actually we got a ouija
board here and winston churchill wants to go on a date with you no we think that it's great that
you went i thought you were a great sport you're perfect for the first one for yeah fantastic but
but you know we'll find someone around his age that he'll like um what do you what could he do
better though what do you what could he do better
though what do you think you could improve on what's he missing you think nothing see that's
chin's problem chin says nothing and that can't be the case you know i don't really think any i mean
honestly i'm my biggest thing when i go on dates with people is like i can have a conversation
with a wall literally um like i'm really social so if someone can't hold a conversation with a wall, literally. Love it. Like I'm really social. So if someone can't hold a conversation with me,
then that's just like a problem.
Yep.
But he obviously held a conversation.
He's super funny.
Yeah, he's fun.
He's nice.
He's normal.
I don't understand why everyone's calling him not normal.
That's just kind of a joke.
Yeah, and he knows that he isn't.
No, I know that.
But so you're just saying it just wasn't a love connection, but there was a connection, but just maybe of a joke yeah and he knows that he isn't but so you're just saying it just wasn't
a love connection but there was a connection but just maybe not a love connect there's an age gap
brendan she said that i think probably like the age gap like and i get ages versus the number but
like it's kind of like a pretty big age gap and but overall like anything else Was fine I can't really
I don't know
I can't really
Have you
Have you gotten
On any dates
Since that
No
I mean it was
Friday
It was Friday
It was this past Friday
Yeah
What are we in
You're a pretty girl
I know girls
Go on dates
Every goddamn night
Yeah have you seen
Girls going wild
Those videos
Dude have I ever
Those girls
Are always dating
They got my money bro god i'm dating
on boats no i had a busy weekend with friends there's no time for a date that makes sense i
love your attitude carly thank you so much for being uh a part of uh chander and for just helping
us look for love for our friend thank you carly oh you're great no honestly thank you guys so much
it's actually been a lot of fun and an hilarious story to tell oh cool you're great no honestly thank you guys so much it's actually been a lot of fun
and an hilarious
story to tell people
yeah you're great
and now
I'm fans of you guys
so and
like I said
a lot of my friends
are fans of you guys
so now I'm gonna look up
see when you guys
are like in town
maybe you can see
like a show
or something
yeah we'll figure it out
yeah we'll
share you on our
social media
on King and the Sting so that you know if there is a young man out there that could be your type.
You might get some creepers, but whatever.
A lot of pervs.
Seriously.
So he tagged me and a bunch of people just started following me and DMing me.
But then a couple people were like, oh, if Chin doesn't work out, I'll take you out.
But I'm like, I can't see your profile because it's private.
You have nothing in your bio.
Yeah, don't.
Your picture is like a cartoon.
Oh, that was Nick.
That was our producer, Nick.
Yeah.
That was Nick in my opener of songs, so I apologize.
I'm just joking.
I'm just joking.
Nick's a legend, man.
He's a good guy.
But no, so a lot of creepers already came after you.
Seriously, that was a song and I apologize.
I was just like trying to wean through them.
I was like, okay, okay.
Just ignore them.
Yeah, you're doing the damn thing.
Thank you for being on this.
You're a great sport about it.
It's not easy.
Of course.
No, this has been probably top five things.
You're the best
Alright Carly
Good luck out there
And love
Thanks guys
You take care
Have a good one
See ya
Okay bye
Carly doing the damn thing man
She's attractive
Dude both of you guys
I'm proud of both of you guys
You guys did a great job
You guys killed that
That could have been a nightmare
You guys killed that
Yeah
You guys shot it well.
Everything was great.
Here's my thing.
Obviously, Chin, that's not a match.
What if we open it up to other people?
You know what I'm saying?
Well, he's 47.
Yeah.
Chin's 51.
She's 21.
She's like, yeah, I guess.
But we could help a bunch of people find some love, man.
You know?
Bro, we can barely fucking keep our shit together, dude.
Okay?
Are you sure?
Well.
We don't even have a key to the bathroom in the hall.
Are you sure we can help people find love?
Legit point.
Help my boy, Assan, man.
He needs it the most.
No, dude.
It's tough.
Hey, listen.
We gotta go.
I hate to be shitty.
Assan's a tough...
We did Chin.
That's a tough sell.
Yeah.
Assan looks like somebody that lives in the shells of a library. It's a tough we did chin that's a tough set Hassan looks like somebody that lives
in the shells of a library
it's a tough set
Hassan
you know being Indian
like we can only do so much
we're not fucking
Hassan looks like
this is king of this thing
not make a wish
Hassan looks like
a dude that sleeps
in a really old book
okay
I don't know
if we're gonna
Hassan
Hassan looks like
remember when you were a kid
he looks like that worm
that crawls out of the apple.
You know what I'm saying?
With the glasses on.
Oh, that's mean.
Dude, you said he sleeps in a book, bro.
Let's see what non-gay dad says.
Let's go to non-gay dad head again.
Let's go to non-gay dad head and see what he says.
Oh, that does look like a song.
That's a song.
But brown.
But he's a brown worm.
Oh, they're brown, dude.
He's a brown worm.
That's a song. That's a sign. That's a sign. But brown. But he's a brown worm. Oh, they're brown, dude. He's a brown worm. Oh, there he is.
That's a sign.
That's a sign.
That's a sign.
Whatever we do next time, if we send Chin, Strangers.
What about Ari?
I love the idea.
I love the idea of Ari.
Ari's a liability, dude.
Signs a waiver.
Bro, we better be a huge waiver.
We need a girl on the dark web.
It better be a huge waiver.
Either way, next time, we have to have an AirPod in someone's ear
and you guys are feeding them lines.
And we're in a van.
Yes.
We could hear their conversation
the whole time,
but if we could go the other way,
that's what makes it go.
We can help Chin or Ari out
and we'll be like,
yo, dude,
ass hurt.
Dude,
pour another shot.
Spill it on your pants.
Stop staring at her titties.
Yeah.
Guys, I have an announcement to make to you guys though you're married not married but cat knows this i told nick already
are you coming out right now you told what nick i told nick because we were filming i'm like i
used a racial slur i can't do i'm not gonna do like you know something. So I've been dating my best friend for a little while now.
It's Kat?
No.
No, he's a power lifter from Fresno.
I'm just kidding.
It's a girl.
You guys, you met her before.
I met her?
You met her.
Multiple times.
Who's gay?
Somebody's gay or not?
That's what I...
No one's gay.
I thought you was coming out right now.
I was like, I appreciate you're brave. You're brave. Do it on King of the Sing. You Chin was coming out right now I was like I appreciate
You're brave
You're brave
Do it on King of the Sing
You're brave
Coming out dude
Chin said he had sex
With Aaron Hernandez
In high school
You're really dating someone Chin?
Yeah
Cat knows
Have you met her Cat?
Did I meet her in San Diego?
One of the shows
One of the shows
That's all I'm going to say
I don't want to go too
I don't want to
Did you meet her Did I meet her in San Diego Or San Francisco one of the shows that's all i'm gonna say i don't want to go to i don't want to did you meet her did i meet her in san diego or san francisco one of those so
channel san francisco we paid for two hours of food for you and this lady it's a great show my
friend hot car didn't have a chance it's a great show the game she can't win she said the age gap
is ridiculously crazy there's no way well how's the girl you're dating closer to my age
ridiculously crazy. There's no way.
Well, how old's the girl you're dating?
Closer to my age.
That sounds vague, man. It sounds like this girl is even I feel like we got honey.
I've had that girlfriend before, dude. In middle school,
I told everybody I had a girlfriend that lived in the town
next door. And I met her one time.
You sound like Aaron Hernandez' high school quarterback right now.
That never happened. Let's go to that quarterback's dad again.
Let's bring up another picture of that dad. Let's see if he believes it.
Well, my son, I didn't.
Everybody did it. Everybody was dating Aaron.
Wow, Chance, you're dating, huh?
Well, fuck.
My friend Carly didn't even have a chance.
Yeah, you told us that, Brendan.
But what I'm saying is this, dude.
Next time we're paying for two hours worth of food and liquor.
Next time you order seven fucking sake bottles i thought you're gonna get your
dick sucked the only reason i agreed to pay for it you know what i'm saying who are you darren
sharper chill out bro what do seven balls of sake somebody getting their dicks up that's science
yeah usually it's math that's dating math they go over six bottles. Like, well, here we go.
So I can't do me on Tinder.
Someone else for sure.
Somebody else. Well, you should have told us that before we had a $470 tab.
You should have told us that before we invested $100,000
into the goddamn graphics and music.
Yeah, before we had.
You know what?
This is like The Bachelor and the guy before it starts going,
sorry, I got married last week.
You fucked us, dude. I didn't last week. You fucked this, dude.
I didn't fuck anyone.
Look, motherfucker.
Look here, motherfucker.
Yeah.
I don't know why it's so funny when he cusses.
You're going on dates again.
All right?
You're going on at least two more dates.
Hey, bro.
Hold on.
You're dating your best friend
that's a power lifter out of Fresno?
Bro, that ain't working out. Yeah. A, that's not working out. B, that's a power lifter out of Fresno? Bro, that ain't working out.
Yeah.
A, that's not working out.
B, that's a dude named Greg.
He'll understand, dude.
Yeah, bro.
The Fresno bear will understand.
The rare bear of Fresno, dude.
That Fresno bulldog will understand if you're seeing some other dudes.
I just see some hairy dude named Shinbaca rolling out of the woods right now.
You're going to hell, Chin, probably.
Oh.
I shouldn't have said that, but if that's the way you treat people, you're taking somebody.
Hey, she had a great time.
That's true.
Yeah.
She had a good time.
Yeah, you're right, man.
Never mind.
She had a good time.
Yeah.
I'm just saying she's playing a game she can't win, you know?
Yeah.
Kat, what do you feel like?
What are your takeaways?
You were there.
You were there in the foxhole.
Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
It went a lot better than any of us thought it would go.
The only issue is I think we wanted Chin in his element,
so we went to go get Korean barbecue,
but it was so hard to film there. There were so many unfriendly Korean workers
who kept telling us to put our cameras.
Hey, standard cameras.
But why is that?
They're assholes.
I'm sure a lot of people want to film in there.
It's just distracting for people.
But also.
But why couldn't they be?
If they weren't helpful, like, I mean, you're Korean.
Are you Korean?
Yes.
Okay.
So were they Korean or were they Chinese?
There might be some Chinese workers there, but they're mostly Korean.
The Chinese take no shit, man.
You ever been around Chinese people?
They take no shit.
They're so rude.
Oh, yeah.
Very, very dangerous, basically.
When I was trying to get permission to film at these places earlier in the day,
I was telling them that I was working for a couple,
and it was their one year anniversary
and this was their first date spot
and they didn't give a fuck.
Shut it down.
Yeah.
Fucking tramps.
Trans, you mean.
Nope, tramps, dude.
I wanna keep my jobs.
A lot of them are saying tran, aren't they?
That's what I meant.
I didn't mean trans people.
Oh, you're right.
I meant tran.
A lot of my people, yes. They are? Yeah. yeah the tran boy get on the train or get off dude well chin let me ask
you this cat where do we go from here yeah that's i mean now we know trim's getting fucking married
next week we gotta find someone else someone else who wants to come on when you find somebody think
about it nick has a lady yep we're official now. It's going really well.
You're bragging a lot this episode, man.
Oh, he's got a lady, dude.
You're killing it, dude.
Things are looking up.
He's trying to set up his senior buddy over there.
He has a dope ride.
He's got a lady.
Derek's obviously busting nuts left and right.
We know this.
I'm getting married this year, baby.
Of course you are.
It's because you knocked your girl up, you freak.
That's what I got to do, dog. That's what I got to do, dog.
That's shit, dude.
Bro, you knocked my girl up the way you're at it.
Yeah, keep your eyes off my girl, man.
I had to keep the windows closed so that my girl wouldn't even get pregnant.
I don't even have a girl.
I'll say this.
God, I'm so fucking lonely.
God.
Oh, man. Yeah. I mean, I'll say it. What are you saying? I'll say this. I'm so fucking lonely. Oh, man.
Yeah.
I mean, I'll say it.
We can end it.
What are you saying, dude?
I'll say this.
How many more ideas are you going to come up with today?
You're hopeless.
You're a liability.
We don't do that.
I'm a liability?
You sent a guy who's not even available.
You can't take your date on the 12-step program.
That's not a first date, dude.
She's like, I'm not even on step one.
Why are we in eight right now?
That third step's a doozy.
Why is Dax Shepard always here?
That third step's a doozy,
boy.
That's hilarious.
Cat single. Can I say that,
Cat? Yeah. Cat, you're single?
What happened? Such trouble. Just didn't
work out. Wow. God, dude.
You don't get to person
That would be trouble though the fucking my slime that would come out
We'll have to
But I think we're in the truck and but we're in the rain we don't have a truck
We get a truck we get a van. You call the king's Thing van. We get it white, put honey all over it. The ski shuttle.
No.
See, dude, the ski shuttle.
It doesn't end well.
It's like a magic bus, but it's a ski shuttle.
Yeah, but we'll put you in the random dude's air to make it work with Kat.
Oh, so there's a chance with Kat?
Yeah.
I don't feel comfortable.
I feel like we're setting Kat up't feel comfortable. I feel like we're
setting Kat up
to get murdered.
I feel like we're
setting ourselves up
to definitely get
into a curious situation.
Kat, thoughts, concerns?
Let's see.
I am open to the idea
if I see Chinder work
with a couple more people.
Yeah, we don't hit up
Kat right now.
It's too early.
It's too early.
Well, we'll see what happens.
Maybe we'll have somebody
come in and see if we can find them
Someone
Maybe we'll put Ari out
On the dark web
Ari's very
He has
He's great
That's what people do
When they shout
At their friends
No he's cool
No don't get me wrong
He's fantastic
He's my boy
He's my boy
Dude I love him
Like a brother
I don't trust him I just don't want him Showing up the fantastic. He's my boy. He's my boy. Dude, I love him like a brother. I don't trust him.
I just don't want him showing up the next day and be like, hey, I got this new jacket.
He'd be like, yeah, her name's Belinda.
Like, I already got a guy who will make a fucking.
Where we can't show the date?
Yes.
Like, dude, did you guys shoot three people on your date?
Dude, why did your date just cut to the first season of Dexter?
Dude, why did you guys, by to the first season of Dexter? Dude, why did you guys buy first round tickets
to Hawaii?
And only one of you guys came back.
And charged our card, though.
Look, we can see what happens, man.
Yeah, look, anybody can find love, so it's
possible, you know. We'll see what happens. Something good
could happen, bro.
Not cat night yet cat not yet
just brainstorming ideas here
hello hello dude why are you still living in the past may have to ask who it is at your door when
you can already know bro ah you're so right dude you could have been a robber yeah i could have
been you could have been a robber trying to steal all right. You could have been a robber. Yeah, I could have been, man.
You could have been a robber
trying to steal all my stuff.
I could have been a burglary, bro.
You got to know what's up, dude.
Simply safe home security.
It's like getting commercial grade
enterprise level security,
but for your own home, B.
Here's the thing, dude.
Outdoor cameras and doorbells
alert you to anyone
walking around your house.
You don't want to wait.
Oh, did someone break in? I'm going to call the cops now. Too late. Yep. Too house. You don't want to wait. Oh, did someone break in?
I'm going to call the cops now.
Too late.
Yep.
Too late.
You don't have yourself to blame.
Yeah.
Everything you love is gone.
Yeah.
Haven't you ever watched First 48?
Yeah, dude.
It always goes down.
Haven't you ever watched the last 48, dude?
It's at a funeral because you didn't take care of yourself.
Because you didn't have SimpliSafe.
SimpliSafe protects your home from fires, water damage, and carbon monoxide poisoning.
Yeah.
How about entry motion glass break sensors?
What?
Glass break sensors?
Good luck getting in.
It's all monitored 24-7 by live security professionals.
You can set up your system yourself.
No tools needed.
And SimpliSafe experts can do it for you if you want.
If you can't figure out, ready for this?
It's only 50 cents a day. No contracts. What's your safety worth to you yeah 50 cents 50 cents that's
a dollar every two days that's three dollars and 50 cent a week bro go to simply safe s-i-m-p-l-i-s-a-f-e
dot com slash k-a-t-s to save on home security today that's s-i-m-p-l-i-s-a-f-e dot com slash k-a-t-s to save on home security today that's s-i-m-p-l-i safe dot com slash cats
get the cats get the cats get the cats bro that hair in the back getting a little long brother
it's getting a little long you don't have to worry about losing it but here's the thing 66%
of men start to lose their hair by the age of 35 but that's why i grew mine grew mine out. I know it's maybe a little bit of thinning.
I can't have this.
I can't have it.
I'm going to start growing it out.
I'm going to start using just, I'm going to start using hems, and then I get this thick
mane, bro.
Oh, you look beautiful, man.
You've really come a long way.
When I met you, you wasn't as good looking, and now you're better looking than you were
then.
Look at my hair, bro.
I look like Razor Ramon.
Thanks to 4hems.com.
One-stop shop for hair loss, loss skin care sexual wellness for the bros
oh yeah look sexual wellness if anybody knows about being sexually unwell it's your boy okay
you know what i'm saying bro i'll bring an erection to a fucking crafts and uh arts and
crafts environment yeah it's just not proper is it man all right yeah there's nothing better all
right no snake girl pills or
gas station counter something i'm talking real stuff prescription solutions backed by science
yeah you don't buy that stuff over the gas station you you know you're getting a couple
quarts of diesel and one of them rhino hitters at the at the gas yeah you don't want that yeah
one of those you got to have that erection litter all over it dude get out of here bro i'm trying
to get pumping dude yeah don't get right.
Listen, no more awkward in-person doctor visits or long pharmacy lines.
Forget all that.
Get your body right.
Get your dick right, son. Quit living like a fucking little inchworm, bro, and show up with that snake to your stepmother's freaking funeral, bro.
Yeah, it's 2020.
Get that rooter out.
Be somebody, dude.
Show up with a real root, bro.
Three-month minimum subscription.
Prescription requires an online consultation with a physician who will determine if the
prescription is appropriate.
That's easy.
Dude, you get your first month free.
Of course you do.
All you got to do is go to 4hims.com slash K-A-T-S.
That's 4hims.com slash K-A-T-S.
All day, every day.
Cats.
Whoops. 4hims every day. Cats. Whoops.
A car.
4ham.com slash cats.
Can you read the blue part too?
Offer valid if prescribed.
Three month minimum subscription.
Additional restrictions apply.
See website for full details.
Important safety information.
Hillary was talking shit to Bernie this morning.
You guys see that?
So funny.
Old people talking shit.
She said nobody likes Bernie.
Said nobody likes him.
Then did you see the other old broad talk shit
to bernie too i just think it's great that old people are finally fighting with each other
in public dude oh nothing better when old people throw fists oh bro because nobody gets hurt
it's like watching women's fighting it's great yeah no it's like that's hilarious
well
you guys want to do a topic
sure man
I'm trying to take all that in
Chin has a girl
I like my cat
I feel like her blood's on my hands now
a lot has happened A lot has happened.
A lot has happened.
Chin, I'm not trying to be funny.
Well, I know that.
I can vouch for that, Chin.
You can vouch for that.
I literally, I thought Chin was going to come out right now.
I have a big announce.
I was like, oh, Chin fucking knew it.
I don't because Asian people are usually pretty smart.
If it took you 42 years to know you were gay,
this would be the worst fucking math I've ever
seen in my life.
This would be probably
the worst platform to do it.
Asian people know they're gay
when they're four or five, dude.
I don't know, dude.
You don't think so?
No.
No, they lose the dream
of being samurais.
They're like,
oh, fuck, I'm gay.
Yeah.
And at some point,
you have to kill yourself
or something.
What do you guys have to do,
Jim?
Yeah.
If you don't date? Yeah. Or if you want to see if you kill yourself or something. What do you guys have to do, Jim? Yeah. If you don't date?
Yeah.
Or if you want to see if you're gay or not?
I don't know.
Do you have to cut off your pinky if you think you're gay?
No.
No, you have to kill yourself at your dad's yard or something.
You just can't tell your parents.
Isn't there a suicide forest?
Yes.
Japan.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ, man.
Crazy, right?
Well, what do you got?
What else you got?
You guys want to do the name game real quick?
Sure.
On the new topics?
Yeah, let's get in one of the new topics, man.
Oh, we do have to announce we have some new topics.
So let's announce those right now.
New year, new topics.
What did you say?
Because we have a special video for one of the new topics.
Okay.
And I was going to save it for after.
Or we can do it now.
It's up to you, buddy.
Well, we're going to get it in the name game.
Let's do it now.
Do it now?
Let's do it now.
The new topic, boys, is Sink My Ink.
Okay.
We want people to send in pictures of your tattoos,
videos of your tattoos.
Only videos.
Videos of why you got that tattoo and when
and how fucked up you were and all that stuff.
Yeah, brief videos.
Brief videos.
Brief.
You don't say it's a documentary
on your fucking tattoo on your ankle.
Yes.
But we got our first
submission boys and you might recognize this i'm nervous about this i have anxiety today you do oh
check out the tits on this one hey guys just got out of the shower don't have much time obviously
i'm a very busy man but i heard about your new segment or whatever it's called
describe your tattoo or whatever kind of catchy thing you call it but um anyway i figured i'd be
the first entry uh yeah i have tattoos and i got them right here and i got these by dr woo
who's a great artist uh and he did this look at the detail on that eagle that's because i got that
tired eagle joke that i have and my special on netflix on Fire, and that's for the man on fire. And that's what I got.
And I got them when I was 37 because I wanted to get them because I wanted to, I got them
at that age because I never wanted to get them when I was younger because I thought
I would regret them.
Much like you guys definitely regret doing this podcast together.
You absolutely do.
I know you do.
You guys don't regret that you have to do this podcast now because of the money.
You're not doing it because you want to.
You're doing it because of the money, and that's fine.
But it's a cash grab at this point.
Unlike my podcast, congratulations.
This is straight from the soul.
I do it because it's straight from the soul.
Rapping and raping for an hour.
The soul.
So, guys, stop listening to the king in the sting.
Come on over to the congratulations podcast.
Okay?
You know how you can come on over?
You can use this fucking plane.
You can use that plane.
Just hop in and get the fuck away from the king in the sting.
The sting in the king.
I don't even know what the fuck it's called, to be honest.
Oh, my God.
Thanks, Talia.
Oh, shit. Oh, my God. Oh, that's so good. know what the fuck it's called to be honest first of all how did this goon okay infiltrate our airwaves
this is your buddy dude this is your buddy, Brendan. You chime in, dude. Oh, man.
I don't know where to begin.
It's CashGraph.
You guys have to do it.
Oh, first, also, I want to let you guys know that this video submission was brought to
you by the Cash App.
Your whole podcast is because you need the money, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Well, look, Brandon, this is you and Brian's fucking meal ticket,
so why don't you guys answer this one, bro?
The only two people sitting on that plane on his arm are you and fucking Brian.
So why don't you answer this one?
First of all, D'Elia said he hated tattoos.
Remember that? He used to make fun of people with tattoos. And then he gets a tattoo, bro. so why don't you answer this one first of all dalia said he hated tattoos didn't he remember
that he used to make fun of people with tattoos and then he gets a tattoo bro gets a little money
in the bank about a chain like a fucking like gucci man he got tatted up not only did he get
tatted up he did on his fucking arm on his wrist where everybody can see it and somebody said it
was hiding he had like some type of a skin disorder or something that it was hiding
which is something
that I heard, but I also could have made that up.
It wouldn't kill him to use a little Just For Men on that beard either.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, maybe something to brush in.
Yeah, I wouldn't go anything heavy.
A little something.
Nothing too heavy.
Yeah.
I wouldn't go real dark, you know?
That was so fucking funny.
Sink my ink, dude.
How do you do it?
What flight is that on his arm?
Because we could easily sink it if it was flight TWA
564 or whatever that one is.
What about you guys over in Vietnam?
You guys are taking down planes like nothing.
Left and right. Malaysia, huh?
You guys are hiding them, huh? Yeah, dude.
No.
You're flying over Iraq. That's an easy one
to take down than blaming on somebody else. Am I right?
Yeah, look at this, dude.
Sink my ink, bro. This is it, dude.
Sink it.
Sink his ink. Sink it, Brendan.
I'll give him this.
I'll give this to that Dr. Wu.
If you know tattoos, that Dr. Wu is good.
Who the fuck knows
if Dr. Wu is any good, bro?
Who ain't good, dude?
It's drawing.
All of it looks like third semester fucking hard bro it's fucking drawing dude how did you get out of new orleans without any tattoos man with the
shit you've been through i have one tattoo dude and i'll never show it to you guys do you really
it's on your ass isn't it no you creep where's creep. Where's it at? Huh? I'm not telling you.
I just told you I wasn't telling you.
You think I'm going to forget that in just a second?
Yeah.
No, I'm not, dude.
Yeah, I can't believe you have a tattoo.
Yeah, mother effer.
I can't.
It's offensive, though, to some people.
That's why I can't show it.
Is it a Confederate flag?
No.
Dude, if I'm going offensive, I'm going offensive.
Yeah, you're going i'll get it out
confederate flags a little bit of laundry bro that's a little bit of pole laundry dog i'm going
offensive dude uh look here's the thing about this tattoo man i've seen it 2 000 times bro
this tattoo the flaming arm bro nolan ryan had that the old fucking hot arm bro that's nothing also an eagle
on fire you see a lot of that down south at nascar events you see usually it's on people's back a lot
of hell's angels yeah this seems like something some little like thought gets over there in daytona
yeah you're right daytona 500 standard tattoo yeah this is a wedding because you gotta buy dr
woe he thinks all flashy dude sometimes you.A. and realize your tattoos ain't shit.
Yeah, drive to Riverside and get your ass beat breaking out that fucking squid mistake.
Yeah, show up in Ontario without your Harley with that tattoo.
See what the fuck happens, bro.
Yeah, dude.
You can't show up on a fucking bird scooter with that fucking limp piece of Van Gogh your wrist, bro. You're gonna have a Harley
or some assless chaps. You go down to
fucking Ontario with that bird tattoo, bro.
Get this guy out of my podcast, dude.
Get this guy out of my podcast, dude.
God, that was fucking funny, though. Yeah.
That's it, boys. So the new segments
No, we need to tell all the new segments.
Sing my ink.
And we have another one, too, don't we?
Yeah, we forgot a little pre-production that we were going to decide.
Oh, Chase My, Race My Case.
Oh, yeah.
Race My Case?
So some other segments that we're going to do.
One is called Race My Case,
and that is where the producers are going to put together crimes that have happened,
and we have to, the four of us have to guess what race could have done it.
Fuck yeah.
So race my case will be good.
So that'll be a new segment.
Also known as True Detective season four.
What's up, bro?
You and me.
True Detectives, bro.
True Detective, dude? HBO show.
Oh yeah, sorry man. Sorry, we're in. Yeah, True Detectives,
man. You're McConaughey. Yeah, you're McConaughey, dude. You're Woody Harrelson. Yeah, I'm Woody Harrelson. We're not show. Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, man. Sorry, we're in. Yeah, True Detectives, man. You're McConaughey.
Yeah, you're McConaughey, dude.
You're Woody Harrelson.
Yeah, I'm Woody Harrelson.
We're not the shitty season, though, with Vince Vaughn.
That's not us.
We're first season.
I'm Woody Harrelson, boy.
What was the other one?
I love that.
I'm doing crime.
We got Now or Then.
You guys take a topic and argue whether it was better back then or now.
Cars, music sent in by at big dog on IG.
Yeah, we passed on that one.
Okay.
But that's okay.
I say –
We didn't discuss this fully.
I say next week we unveil one segment and we'll do a new one every week.
Just keep adding one and see which one sticks around. So next week we'll do race my case and we'll we'll do a new one every week but this will keep adding one yeah we can see which one sticks around yeah my cases so next week yeah next week we'll
do race my case and we'll do the name game yeah so well that's it for today
boys that's you did a fool that's the episode you guys ran through that one
we love to debate clubber King this we don't think we can go along we already
I'm say you did the how long are are we at? We're over an hour.
Really?
That's it, yeah.
We're at like hour five.
I'd love to get to this European name game.
We can do one name game.
Carl, let's do it.
Carly wouldn't shut the fuck up.
What are you talking about?
Just shout to Carly.
What's up, girl?
You're so friendly.
I'm just being silly.
Yeah, that's true, dude.
That bitch wouldn't quiet down, bro.
I'm joking, man.
You got to take that fart out.
This whole episode was hot Carl and Chris D'Elia. true dude that bitch wouldn't quiet down bro i'm joking man you gotta take that part out this whole
episode was hot carl and chris d'alia yeah dude well it's your buddy man it's your buddy taking
over our podcast with his shitty art dr woo dude is that even a real asian i've never seen never
heard about him yeah exactly dude who would let a fake asian draw on him he's big huh
dr who's big who's not big you don't know who's as big as they get so shamrock social club telling
you first of all you barely got out of the back end of that fucking shamrock social club yeah yeah
and i saw you stair stepping through at, too. I was hopscotching. Sam Rock Social Club.
Sam Rock Social Club.
Sam Rock Social Club.
What happened to our white rapper friends?
We got the Cats Battle Rap coming back next week.
Fuck yeah.
We're going to be posting those videos, like we said last time, on IG this week.
We're going to get a vote, and we're going to have a winner, and we got two more fire submissions.
Hell yeah.
Like eight mile up in this bitch.
Yeah, dude, like four mile.
So from time to time, dude.
So from time to time, we'll be rolling with some new segments.
Let's do name game, though, so people know how to submit for name game.
And you guys don't have to submit for Race My Case, I don't think.
Could they submit cases?
They could.
They can try, but if we don't find good ones, we'll make it up and say it came from them.
Okay.
All right, boys.
Thank you guys for having me, too, bro.
There's a lot of kids.
Go ahead.
This is Nick from L.A.
This is another Nick.
Hey, guys.
This is Nick coming at you from the La Brea Tower Podcast Studio in Hollywood, California.
I got a little name game submission for you.
Hollywood, California.
I got a little name game submission for you.
And in honor of the Rat King returning from Europe,
I was wondering if you guys could name European landmarks.
Thanks for all the laughs.
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
I mean, you were just there, so.
Yeah, I can name a few.
Home team.
I can name a few.
Okay.
It's an away game for your boy, huh?
Okay.
Yeah, you've been there to start yeah start big ben
rothlisberger you're out bro uh i'm gonna go with stonehenge bro everybody's favorite
figurine area bro a little bit of stonehenge what's that on your shirt oh stonehenge
little stone stony henge a little stony henge a little stony henge cliff dude Stonehenge. What's that on your shirt? Oh, Stonehenge. Little Stoneyhenge.
Little Stoneyhenge Cliff, dude.
Red Band.
Some guy gets up on their show, like,
Tony, and sneezes, and like,
alright, that's your time, brother, you fucking, you did shitty.
Yeah. He's like, that's your time,
get the fuck and hit the drum. The he's like that's your time get the fucking hit the drum the guy's like but i flew here uh i took four days off of work well you're fired so you're also
fired so i'm coming every monday man for the past fucking three months yeah my wife hasn't seen me
in a month i've been camping outside yeah, shitty first joke. Your turn, Brendan.
Trying to evade it, huh?
European landmarks.
Go, daddy.
European landmarks.
Go, daddy.
Eiffel Tower.
Okay.
Arc de Triomphe.
Wow.
That's a good one.
Look at me impressing people with that one, dude.
You got me, man.
Brendan on the rocks right now.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
This is rope-a-dope.
Brendan just-
Rope-a-dope.
Look, cutting to Brendan's head, where's Niagara Falls?
Brendan about to-
Dude, you were just there you are you are crawling through these
dude running about to lose let's go
um let me think here for a second yeah go ahead what's the giant fucking bridge in england
in london london london london london can i say the london bridge
the london bridge hey hey alex london bridge for 3000 count it boom that's good yeah oh my god
that's a song oh hey oh i was just there oh i didn't see anything oh just green rooms. That's a song you eat.
London Bridge.
We're using songs now?
Let me think of something good.
Landmarks.
I got something good, bro.
I'm not even worried, dude, because I got the Trevi Fountain play.
Boy!
Isn't that a club in Miami?
Fountain Blue?
Trevi Fountain in Rome.
Oh, man.
Well done.
That's that LM, baby.
That landmark.
That really surprised Derek.
I mean, I definitely would.
I got one for you.
How about the Coliseum, son?
Coliseum of what?
In Italy, bro.
Okay.
Damn, dawg.
Just checking you, dawg.
Get out my grill, bro.
Just checking you, dude. my grill bro Just checking you dude
You gotta know what's up
Bwing
Dude I haven't thought about it forever
I know what I'm gonna say man
I'm not some freaking nutcase
Like you are dude
What I would go with
Is the Hamburg Zoo freaking nutcase like you are dude what i would go with is the hamburg zoo
is that a landmark yes it is dude probably the greatest zoo ever
it's a place i don't know wow it's a it's a play it is a place in japan but is that a landmark
oh i don't know man is that a land i don't know if that's a it is a it in Germany. Yeah, but is that a landmark? Ooh, I don't know, man. Is that a landmark? I don't know if that's a landmark.
It is an establishment.
There's a McDonald's over there, too.
Yeah, there's a zoo in any city.
I can say the fucking Rome Zoo.
You know what I'm saying?
Rome Zoo is not on there.
Ooh, it's also, it's called the Tierpark Hagenbeck Zoo.
He didn't say that.
He didn't say that.
The Hagenbeck, uh.
He said zoo in Europe.
European Zoo for 3,000, Alex. The Hamburg Zoo, dude. Dude, you're out. He didn't say that. The Hagenbeck, uh... He said zoo in Europe. European zoo for 3,000, Alex.
The Hamburg Zoo, dude.
Dude, you're out.
You're out, bro.
Do you know what kind of animals they have there?
Bring up pictures of animals at the Hamburg Zoo, dude.
It's just French guys.
No, it isn't.
It's just Jewish people.
Yeah, Tierbark Hagenbeck.
That Hagenbeck, duh.
Yeah, he didn't say that tear
park look at that elephant bro look at that tortoise looks like every fucking zoo i've ever
seen whatever man you're out bro the hamburger you're out bro i'm sorry that's bullshit yeah
you got this how about the 16th chapel bro the vatican the vatican what's what. How about the 16th chapel, bro? The Vatican?
What's up with the Vatican, bro?
Huh?
What about the 15th chapel?
All right.
Now you're talking.
Now you're talking, bro.
Now you're talking about.
How about the Notre Dame?
That bitch caught on fire.
Let this motherfucker burn.
Burn, mother.
Of course that thing went up in fire.
Dude, you guys.
Dude, even though you just got back from Europe and you lost in the name game, not a big deal.
I'm still rooting for you, dude.
I'm glad you came in today, bro. I'm rooting for you, too, man.
I'm happy to be here today, man.
Thank you guys so much for having me, dude.
Dude, you keep saying that, man.
That's right.
You are fire.
Yeah, dude.
Your name's right there.
You're the name.
Yeah, thanks for having me, dude.
We're kind of in your studio now, dude.
Thanks for having me.
I mean, thanks for allowing me to be part of the show, I guess. Thanks for having me, Kat. Thank you for having me, dude. We're kind of in your studio now, dude. Thanks for allowing me to be part of the show, I guess.
Thanks for having me, Kat.
Thank you for having us, Kat.
It's the year of the rat, so I had to let you hear it.
Is it the year of the rat?
Yeah, it is, boy.
It's the year of the rat.
So all of you fucktards know what's about to happen, dude.
Dude, this thing is sick, bro.
All of you guys, man.
Daddy might have to get a tattoo.
Woo, Dr. Woo.
It's the comeback of the rat son
like i was never gone bro never gone bro yeah get on your knees and serve the cheese baby because
i'm coming for it son oh wow you feel me you tell dirt lee i'm fucking coming to get my belt back
to you guys gave it to that fucking pansy over there we let the fans vote you know that old
i mean who are the fans? It's just
you and Brian Callen.
We know Brian doesn't even know we give out Guests of the
Year.
Brian doesn't know anything.
Brian looks like Elf on the Shelf, dude.
When he's not working
during the holidays, you know.
I'm like, damn, bro.
Brian looks like Elf
on the Shelf in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids before he got shrunk.
He looks like blood transfusion on the shelf.
Doesn't he look like Elf on the Shelf if he ate?
You talking about rinks on the shelf?
Yeah, rinks on the shelf.
Dude, that would sell like hotcakes.
Rink on the shelf.
Oh, man.
Just have some old dude doll on the shelf.
You don't need holidays for that.
Well, send one to Carly. What about Perv on the Curb? don't need holidays for that? Mm-mm. Send one to Carly.
What about perv on the curb?
That'd be another one, dude.
That's a perverted looking dude.
Yeah.
You set him on a curb somewhere?
Yeah, big fat guy with his tongue like this.
Dude, I'll let you know also, on this past weekend,
we're coming out with Crystalia voodoo dolls, actually.
They were going to be signed.
Poke fucking pins in them.
Oops. Oops. Oops.
Oops.
Oops.
It's going to be sick, bro.
You put dents in it.
Yeah, dude.
You can just put as many dents as you want.
You should create a big doll.
You can just beat the fuck up and put a bunch of dents in it.
That'd be sick.
Yeah.
That's what he just said, Brendan.
That's exactly what he just said.
No, he said little doll.
I'm talking a full size.
I'm talking like one of the ones
chin fucks.
One of those big fucking...
One of those six oners.
Yeah.
Chin's the only one
that gets the real long sex doll.
You sure you want...
This comes in three parts.
You sure...
I know it's on discount,
but you sure you want
the Jay Leno chin on this one?
Well, Chin had a chance at love and he let it pass. Chin, but you sure you want the Jay Leno chin on this one? Well, Chin had a chance at love, and he let it pass.
Chin, do you have any closing remarks?
No.
I hope she has a great future, finds someone great.
Well, that's weird.
Hopefully her future is not dark.
We've got to help somebody find love, man.
Let's think about it.
All of us get together.
We're going to think of a new.
I think we still call it Chinder no matter what.
Oh, yeah.
I think the segment's called Chinder, but me and Theory in the van.
Like freaking Scooby Dooby.
Hey, you're the dog.
Scooby.
Scoob.
You like Scoob?
And I would have met somebody if it wasn't for you bastards.
Oh, fuck, dude.
Someone needs to make a graphic of all this in that fucking skeet van like Scooby-Doo.
Hey, man, bro.
I got to donate blood at 130 here, actually.
Really?
Someone's going to take your blood?
Wow.
Wow. What poor souls. like yeah they come here and get
it what they come here and take it what kind of dark web donation is this dude we're always
supposed to be on the up and up well they have a website uh all right man well that's it i'm in
charlotte this when we dropping this this week yeah Yeah, Thursday night. I'm in Charlotte Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
Next week, Columbus, Ohio, baby.
Yep, and I'll be in Denver this weekend.
We're out in Denver, dog.
South Comedy.
You're at the Landmark South?
Yeah.
Why South?
Just going to work on some new material.
Just going there.
You don't want to do the downtown one?
There's more seats at the other one.
My papa lives across the street.
Really?
Literally across the street from there.
Downtown one? No, from the south. Dude, bring him dude bring him over it'd be cool yeah be nice to him yeah please don't clown my dad i would never do that man he'd sock you right in the fucking nose
would he really oh yeah oh yeah it'd be cool yeah it'd be fun i'll show up with black guys
but dad's like sorry man don't bring up black stuff around his dad his dad gets hood as fuck
really god yeah oh yeah he was asking about chitlin i'll go jersey shopping with your dad dude It's like, sorry, man. Don't bring up black stuff around his dad. His dad gets hood as fuck, bro. Really? Oh, yeah.
He was asking me about chitlins.
I'll go jersey shopping with your dad, dude.
That's what I'm talking about.
Fuck yeah, dude.
I'm assuming those are sold out.
Yeah, we got to...
I'm glad we're back, man.
Yeah, dude.
It's good to be back, man.
We got an exciting year.
A lot of new...
New segments.
New segments.
New merchandise.
Ooh, the merch's coming.
We got some spicy for that ass merch.
We got some new artwork. Everything's
good. We're cruising along, man.
Chin found love even though
he didn't tell us he already had it.
Wow. Worst episode
of The Bachelor ever.
God.
Where you find out he's married right before.
Imagine if he did it on ABC.
They're like, all these people are here for you, man.
We have helicopters.
Let's go to Paris.
Yeah, sorry, man.
I got to founce on right before I got here.
That's what you did to us, Jin.
Hope you're happy, bro.
Congratulations.
Thanks for playing.
Shout out to Carly.
Hot Carl.
Yeah, Carly, we love you.
We do love you a lot, especially me, girl.
What were you going to say?
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.