The Golden Hour - Episode 53: Magic Mike Alstott
Episode Date: January 31, 2020The boys talk Cholo Aliens, Cheek Sneakin, Jimmy Walker, All New Segment Race My Case, Frozen Trout Pants, Falling Frogs, Snakey's vs Spiders, Al Pacino vs Robert De Niro, All New... White Rappers, Verbal Gerbil's, Winstrol with Cream and much more!ShipStation - https://shipstation.com/ offer code: KATSAthletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/katsManscaped - https://manscaped.com/ offer code: KATSMyBookie - https://mybookie.ag/party promo code: KATSSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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back off my broccolini get your life together
don't touch me bro i'm not touching you dude
dude you sound like me step by step i know i listen to your remember that i listen to your
solo podcast and now i'm just trying to get through life, dude. Oh, yeah. Onward. Yeah. Onwards and upwards.
I've been down, dude.
One step at a time, bro. One step.
One step.
Step by step.
Day by day.
You remember that shit?
If you even walk past the studio over there when the door's open, you'll catch a hit of it, dude.
I know, dude.
I got them depression rays.
I'm down, bro.
Like, dang, man.
Where's my tail?
You're turning a straight Eeyore, bro. E'm down, bro. Like, dang, man. Where's my tail? You're turning a straight Eeyore, bro.
Eeyore, bro.
And then be careful wearing a Raiders jersey in LA, dude.
I had all these cholos, man.
Am I here?
I was like, oh, I fucked up.
Hey, papi.
I'm like, what?
Throwing fucking tamales at me.
I'm like, what the fuck?
Bro, like you would duck a tamale.
Oh, no. I ate a few, bro.
I can only catch so many, dude.
What the?
Throw me some sauce.
Hey,
come to the top of the thing.
Yeah, man. Be careful wearing a Raiders jersey
in L.A., man. This thing was frosty.
Shout out to my boy, Will Cobb. In L.A., dude?
Dude. Anywhere, bro.
You could show, bro, no joke, you could be an astronaut laying on the moon in a Raiders jersey,
and a couple of fucking bangers will come out from behind us straight up.
A cholo alien will come out?
Hey, holmes.
What you doing over here?
What you doing over here, bro?
Bro, first of all, that's Lyle Alzado.
RIP, bro.
One of the greats, dude.
Well, he wasn't that good, but yeah, for sure.
Dude, no, but definitely.
One of the greats?
Huh?
Great at taking steroids.
Yeah, but still.
Some of those needles get big, man.
You get into that 30-gauge needle, bro.
It's huge. Quit touching me, bro. But keep touching me. I wore that 30 gauge needle brother huge but touching me bro
i wore the shirt hey but keep touching me talking about steroids yeah he just straight had a fucking
philip screwdriver in his fucking neck with steroids back in the 70s man those those those
needles were sick bro yeah bro those things were huge you could put yeah you could uh those things
were really really big dude i even remember even being young, when I was a child, the needles were bigger then.
Do you remember that?
Real big.
I had to get a tetanus shot in my ass one time because a dog bit me in the booty.
I remember this needle was like this.
Bit him?
Or I bet you snuck over there and put it in his mouth, dude.
Ah, he bit me.
Let's be honest, bro.
ah he bit me let's be honest bro you definitely seem like the kind of guy who'll sneak a cheek into a jack russell bro let's be real honest for reals this is what happened so when i think i was
in fourth grade friend street got struck by lightning he's like oh you gotta see it man so
all the kids like oh sick so we go back, and they push me and close the gate.
And I'm like, I don't see no tree struck by lightning.
And I see a Rottweiler.
Bro, good thing I fucking Spider-Man this shit.
Hey!
Because he was going for my dick piece.
You sound like Brian right there.
He bit me right on the ass.
Did he?
Yeah, they could have killed the Rottweiler.
I'm in fourth grade?
Rottweilers are really, they're honestly, dude, they're the black men of dogs.
Let's be honest, bro.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, I do not mess with Rottweilers, bro.
Never.
That was a dog, when I was growing up, dude, that was the most dangerous dog.
They had German Shepherd, got kind of wild, and then Rottweiler.
Rotties were the thing.
Rotties, yeah.
And they were like a really rap thing
remember weren't they like t-shirts there was like t-shirts of them with like chains on yeah
that's right was that a rottweiler yeah that was a dope someone turned in a rottweiler on that
but didn't junkyard dog did jyd have a rottweiler ever with him that came into the ring junkyard dog
oh i don't know i remember rottweiler's growing up being like
associated with hip-hop oh yeah yeah well i remember even the pitbulls took over in the
area you would see like if i just remember when i was young if black guys had a dog or a lot of
times it was a rottweiler yeah was that really a thing derrick am i just making that up no that
you're 100 all my all my bigger black the bigger black guy, the bigger the Rottweiler, too.
Every time. Type in
Rottweiler hip-hop.
But I can understand that. If you look at a
Rottweiler, it looks like the baddest-ass
dog. White people had Spuds
McKenzie, which was that... I don't know if we can
bring up Spuds McKenzie. Yeah, the target
dog. He was always partying all the time. Remember he was
drinking beer and shit? That was the one, yeah.
Spud passed away.
This is why white people, I think, have been struggling overall.
It's just because the dog that they chose even years ago shows.
If you just get an image of the dog.
His nose looks like mine.
It's whatever.
He's at the beach.
Yeah, what is he doing?
He's always partying.
He was the party dog.
He has an eye patch.
He's not doing well that was target's
main thing for grip dude when i was growing up that was a big uh mom would get a spuds mckenzie
stuff all the time yeah me too man yeah the stuff spud mckenzie he was a national hit him and the
dominoes guy remember the red dominoes guy you made a video game of him. Domino's pizza guy. Oh, the Noid?
Noid!
The Noid, bro.
Touch me.
I want the shirt.
Do not touch me.
Keep touching me.
Just say keep touching me on the back.
We need a new shirt.
Wow, that's how cheap we are, guys.
Right there, dude.
One side, huh? That's a perfect example of how cheap we are.
Yeah, it is.
You want to look at the back, bro?
Oh, you'll see what it says on the back.
Write it yourself.
Write it yourself, dude. You know what it says.
Write it yourself, dude. We just assume
you know what's up. Bro, it's like I saw a homeless
dude earlier shirtless. He'd written
24 for Kobe Bryant on his chest.
He had a spray painter on his chest.
Did you get money? No, dude.
I drove way out of my way to go
around him. That's right.
The Noid, man. He was a big deal.
Avoid the Noid.
Remember him?
Was there a video game?
Yeah, I had it on Nintendo.
We're going to be honest.
What really happened for you, Brendan, was it was a puppet show that your folks did for you.
No, there it is.
There it is.
Look, that's the cover on the far left.
That's it right there.
And he would bounce around the city.
Yeah, Noid. He would bounce around the city. Yo, no.
He would bounce around the city.
Is Noid a racial slur?
I feel like it is, man.
Yeah, I think that's why they got rid of it.
It had something to do with their pepperoni pizza.
Yo, Noid.
Yeah, something about being-
These Noids.
These Noids.
Oh, you a Noid.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you a little Noid.
Oh, yeah, yeah, dude.
What's up, Noid?
Yeah, like somebody from Norway?
Yeah, Noid.
Oh, look at these Noids out here with their skis.
Oh, these Noids, man.
I'm sick of these Noids, bro.
Oh, dude, bro.
With their earmuffs.
Yeah, any guy that's got to touch something furry on his head to hear you, I'm out.
I'm out, bro.
Yeah, the Noid, bro.
Are you high, Derek?
You look unbelievably, irrationally high
today every time we've met ever his eyes are always red never not been high not one time
why am i always high i like weed i've been high i've been high since college every day every day
up in smoke yeah oh you wake up you can't function unless you wake up and smoke yeah i just get my
day started yeah i don't give a shit derrick I'm just saying you're always high, even around me, even on the road?
24-7.
Wow.
You have a problem.
You don't drink water.
You have a real problem.
You don't even drink water.
This guy doesn't drink water.
You're calling me out.
First team, no water, baby.
What's up, bro?
I haven't had water in ages, dog.
You said that on the road.
My pee is sick like brown sugar, dude.
And my kidneys hurt, bro.
And I refuse to do it.
This dude's over here pissing molasses.
Fucking dry Al-Azayto over here.
You got to fucking put some...
Dude, let's get two buckets of water and just set his feet in him while he's here, man.
You got to start at the root, bro.
You got to hydrate.
You're right.
I just stay on coffee, dude.
Dude, I just saw one of your tattoos walk off your arm, bro.
It's so dry.
Damn, do you wake up and smoke?
Wake up and smoke.
You've always been like that?
Yeah, since probably 2010, I've been high every day.
10 years.
And does your whole family smoke marijuana, dude?
No, it's just me.
Oh, wow.
Does your girl smoke, too?
Girl smokes.
Did she smoke before she met you?
Yeah, she was already smoking.
Did she or did you get her kicking?
No, I didn't.
Don't you?
I didn't get her kicking.
She probably didn't smoke as much.
Probably didn't smoke as much.
Wow.
But I'm just smoking.
You're like a Puerto Rican Joe Rogan.
Yeah.
Just smoking all the time, dude.
You need sober October, bro.
No.
You need water.
Wow.
Look at the fence.
I need water.
You don't drink water?
Never.
What?
I don't trust it dude
what do you drink according your hair you drink olive oil
what are you drinking dude
dude what are you dude according you're here you drink sleepless in seattle What's up, Doug? What's up, dude? I hope he emails.
Dude, you look like
fucking Dyke Allstott,
dude. You look like a fucking
big dry fullback.
Shout out to Mike Allstott.
Why hasn't Mike Allstott been on here, dude?
Why can't we get him on here?
How about roast my CTE?
Dude, yeah.
How does CTE not have a game show?
Dude, why can't I be the host of Roast My CTE, dude?
Dude, it's like, Brendan should have a board game, yeah.
And it starts off kind of like Candyland and just dead ends in a horrible fucking game of Scrap.
No, dude.
No, dude.
It's like Monopoly, all right?
You got to get a certain CTE, and I'm Park No, dude. No, dude. It's like Monopoly, all right? You got to get a certain CT,
and I'm Park Place, baby.
You're Baltic Avenue.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're Baltic Avenue, dude.
Just hanging out on a hot plate.
You're that purple.
You're that purple residence.
Hello, boy.
That shit was 60 bucks.
Perk a sit.
Molly Perk a sit.
Molly Perk a sit.
Get the game.
Get the game.
Dude.
Dude, rate my CT.
What a great game. Comedy Central. What's up, bro, rate my CD. What a great game.
Comedy Central, what's up, bro?
Let's go.
Just dropping ideas here.
What's up?
Comedy Central's going out of business.
That's what's up with them, dude.
They just let go of everybody over there, man.
They're basically, they're barely an app.
They did.
They're barely an app.
Well.
Well.
Let's get into it, dude.
Wait, dude, you're thinking about going to Hawaii? Are you in Vegas this weekend? I'm in Vegas this weekend. They're barely an app Well Let's get into it dude Wait dude You're
You're thinking about
Going to Hawaii
Are you in Vegas this weekend
I'm in Vegas this weekend
I'm in Las Vegas
Where at
You're teaming up
At the Mirage
Oh okay
I thought you were doing
Something with the Blue Man Group
Oh no I wish
They're great
Have you seen them
Get in there
God Derek won't shut the fuck up
About the Blue Man Group
Yo they're amazing
Take your kids everybody
Blue Man Group
Really
Not you know
They don't pay me
I just
Is that a racial thing?
It's like you guys can associate with that kind of thing?
Or is there something that I don't know about?
What?
I'm black.
I know, but I'm just saying you seem like another kind of a...
No, everybody, we were the only black family there.
Really?
Man, they were awesome.
Except for the Blue Man Group, kind of.
Yeah, except for them.
Them niggas was there.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
So, is it okay to call the blue man group the N-word?
Oh, for sure, dawg.
The way they perform?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Ari Maness would probably call them it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
I meant Shafir.
My bad.
Oh, my bad, dude.
My bad, man.
Just joking, bro.
So you're going to Vegas?
Just joking, man.
I was hacked.
I was hacked, bro.
I was hacked, man. I was hacked, man.
I don't even know what happened.
Did something just happen, guys?
I just felt like I just fell asleep or something.
Was I saying something?
So you're going to Vegas?
Yeah, that's what we're talking about.
You're going to Vegas?
Yeah.
Have you guys ever been?
A few times.
A few times.
Oh, nice.
What did you see there? I remember when they had that big pirate ship kind of hotel. Treasure Vegas. Yeah. Have you guys ever been? I've been. A few times. Oh, nice. What did you see there?
I remember when they had that big pirate ship kind of hotel.
Treasure Island?
Yeah.
Is it still there?
Still there, dog.
When's the last time you went?
It's been a while.
God, dog.
Dude, when he went, it was a real ship.
It was like real pirates landing.
That's awesome.
Bro, you were so high back then.
I was like nine.
Bro, it's so easy.
Here's the thing my parents don't realize.
If you get your kids high, it's so easy to take them on vacation, dude.
Yeah, man.
Take them anywhere.
Take them to Chuck E. Cheese.
Tell them it's fucking Circus Circus.
Yeah, take them to the cheese section of the grocery store.
Fucking tell them to have a blast.
Take them to the cheese factory.
Tell them it's Italy.
Dude, I used to have this dream where
i was running this dirty business where i was taking blind people to um antarctica or iceland
or something yeah but really it was just a regular place and i had people put ice all over the ground
and walls and then when they got there they thought they were in like an exotic country
by dream by dream do you mean before you start selling tickets on the road
no it was just a bad dream and i had to run the ship just just stressful as oh so crazy just hustling dude last time 2 000 blind people on a cruise ship and i was the captain every time i'd
have this dream i'd be like here we go that'd work a whole shift like an eight-hour shift as the cat
it was horrible dude last time i was in vegas i was doing a show at the orleans and they wouldn't let me bring i was gonna bring derrick
and like oh no we got the opening we have to open this guy jimmy he's been on comedy for about 70
years i'm like all right whatever i so i get there 70 legit 70 years he's the guy to go dino
mike jimmy walker jimmy walker jimmy Jimmy Walker he was like original at the comedy
I know exactly who he is his name's in the or I've seen every episode of uh the show name that
I can't even remember fat Albert good times yeah I thought it was fat Albert
what do you mean bugger Jenna Jackson was in good times I don't know I'm not familiar with the show
I know he had the dynamite thing anyway so he had the dynamite thing but he they never he never really got any residuals from that
man these men worked at a time we're talking about hollywood fucking people they worked at a time
when these i mean yeah i don't think he sees residuals from that yeah he's still hosting
he's still at the host and that show still airs places dude he's still on the road like 300
vietnam you go to uh you know africa just got it they're waiting for season two they
can't wait maine yeah places like that this show still airs brother yeah i don't know what his
contract is with the show and shit all i know is uh he was one of a kind man one of a kind he
so he walked i'm waiting where i'm waiting to go on stage he walks up he goes he won't look me in
the eye he's like looking off like this and like go meet jimmy like, what's up, man? I'm not familiar with him at all.
I just know he's this older dude open for me.
I'm like, this is a terrible idea for my crowd.
He walks up and goes, I've been doing this over 50 years.
He goes, I know everybody.
Never heard of you.
And just stayed doing it.
And I went
alright man
well have a good show out there
I don't know what you want me to do
I'm dynamite
it was so awkward
and then he went out there, bombed
and then I roasted him when I went on stage
because he was selling CDs
he was selling CDs
I went make sure you get your CDs from Jimmy Walker, everybody.
I want to sign your 8x10 out the way.
That's what he wanted to do.
I was like, what the fuck is going on here?
Dude, he's a legend, bro.
That's like having freaking Frederick Douglass' son, Frederick Douglass Jr.
perform for you, brother.
And with you.
And you treat him like that.
Yeah, I don't know, dude.
It's like Charlie Chaplin.
To me, that guy's a legend.
For sure, he's a legend.
For sure.
Yeah, great guy.
So then when we're going out there, you know, when they call my name, I'm going out there,
I go, hey, good set, brother.
And he goes, don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
That's when I was like, oh, cool, man.
All right.
Check this out, dude.
You want to slang DVDs and sign 8x10s?
Check this out, Dino, mate.
Orlens, out.
What?
It's Orleans, dude.
No, it's not, dude.
I wasn't at that fancy hotel.
I'm behind that.
Oh, my bad, dude.
Everyone was eating ribs and shit
and macaroni and cheese.
Yeah, the further you get from Vegas,
the same things start losing letters, you know?
Yeah, man.
It gets crazy out there, dude.
Yeah, you're at the Mirage.
You're at the Mirag.
You're at the IRA.
IRA.
Next exit, yeah.
You're planning to go to Hawaii, though, you're saying?
Yeah, in March, I'm maybe going to go to Maui, do some shows over there.
Do some shows and chill out, or what?
Yeah, do some shows, chill out.
It's nice over there, man. Who takes more vac what yeah do some shows chill out it's nice over
there who takes more vacations you or teachers i mean you take more vacations anybody i know
what's talking about you need a break oh yeah dude i definitely need a break man
just surrounded by just too much racism out here
man when you're selling stuff online you know uh the orders can be a real pain brendan
dude when you're selling stuff online it's the dark web out there dude how, you know, the orders can be a real pain, Brendan. Dude, when you're selling stuff online, it's the dark web out there, dude.
How do you know it's going to get there on time?
What are you going to do?
It's just such a hassle.
Oh, I bought a thing of summer sausage and a bunch of, like, a little kind of sweater showed up.
Dude, I bought cheese and they just sent me a bunch of kid shoes.
Really?
Yeah, it doesn't make sense.
Dude, you might be a dang
pedophile dude yeah then maybe i don't know dude thank god for ship station amen the fastest
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You look like a summer breeze, bro.
Thanks.
I think that's good.
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Put it in water, man.
But it still helps, I bet.
Yeah, I felt pretty good.
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use the help athletic greens.com slash cats should we start a new segment yeah let's do it man let's
move along that sounds like a good idea race my case you want to do it oh let's do it want to do
it speaking of racism yeah speaking of racism let's make a show out of it so uh for this segment
uh we researched some odd crimes
and we're just going to give you
the description of the crime
and like the headlines
and you guys are just going to have to talk it out
and guess.
Don't cheat, Chin.
Chin's cheating already.
And is it current crimes?
Like, don't give me old shit.
What do you mean?
They're crimes.
I wish we would have...
You know how many crimes happen in LA today?
They want to be fun.
Yeah, he's not a fucking...
We can't just do carjackings
the whole time.
You think he's a cop, bro?
This guy, you think he's a cop?
Yeah, I do.
Look at him, dude.
This is a great note
for next time,
but these are old, so...
Okay, okay.
I probably know,
you probably know
a lot of them, Derek.
Okay, I brought a bit
to a couple.
Let's go.
All right.
Let's do it.
Number one, police arrested a 24-year-old company employee for smearing his own excrement on a girl.
Oh, that's a white dude.
This is some white shit.
Well, I feel like –
White people do that.
White shit.
I feel like it is – immediately it comes to white guy, but I don't know a lot of different kind of orient traditions from the orient and that's where i want to go to chin seems like he has intel on this or i see him nodding his
head can i just piggyback on this because i have seen some interesting porn in my day where when
it comes to shit the asians partake in what they call i'm sorry scat babes so it could be asian or
white uh what is it called white White for 5,000 out.
What?
Scat Babes.
Oh.
Why do they do that?
Does poop not smell in Asia or something?
They just get really nasty.
They've done everything.
They want to get as nasty as possible.
I'm being Japanese, by the way.
Okay.
I bet you are, playboy.
So he's going Japanese.
Chan's going Japanese.
Derek, what do you have?
Yeah, I'm going to go Korean.
Okay. Ooh, because there was also a level of woman shaming
in it. The guy rubbing it on the woman.
There's a level of, I'm a man.
Korean men hate women. You're right.
If you guys need another sentence, let me know.
Someone may have said the correct
one already.
Is there a quote?
No quote, but on December 5th
at 9.45pm.m., Blank
used a bicycle to
come up from behind the girl, aged in her late
teens, at an intersection. Why, dude?
Bike? When's the last time
someone aged on a bike?
All of Asia.
Not in America, bro. And this happened in America,
I'm assuming. Can I get
a place and time? Well, no.
Can you use it in a sentence? I'm not giving any locations or names. Can you get a place and time? Well, no. That's not fair. Can you use it in a sentence?
I'm not giving any locations or names.
Can you give me the Greek meaning?
Can you use it in a sentence?
Blank, who has been charged with assault, admits to the allegations, telling police that
the excrement was indeed his own.
Hell yeah.
That's a white dude being like, fuck you, bitch.
I don't know.
I feel like a white guy would use somebody else's shit.
That's all we do is take other
people's shit. Yeah, there you go. So I think we
would use somebody else's dung
or whatever they call it, feces, to pull
off the crime. Nah, if it was a white guy
using other people's shit, he'd be in like a
FUBU jersey and listen to hip hop.
This is the dude, straight up white dude,
shit, upset, probably caught him cheating on him. Quit saying shit so much. Sorry, dude. So, Brandon's final answer is woo jersey and listen to hip hop but this is the dude straight up white dude shit upset probably
caught him cheating on him quit saying shit so much sorry dude so uh brandon's final answer is
white theo what are you saying i'm gonna go we need specific asian okay just asia i'm gonna go
uh i'm gonna go koreans the dark japanese and uh we do know we're conflating a little bit nationality and race,
but it makes the game better.
The answer is...
Did everybody lock in?
Good catch.
I'm going to say white dude
because Asians will only do that
if it's consensual.
And Asians will only do that
if they have an erection.
Cat's on to something.
Wow, this is a good game.
I'm so excited.
I hope I'm right.
Okay.
I feel like we're in first 48.
This is what the cops are doing behind the glass.
We're true detectives.
What do you got, Nick?
Derek, what was your final?
I went Korean.
Oh, word, word.
The answer is Asian slash Japanese.
Oh, my god.
Fuck!
It did happen in Japan.
Oh, that makes so much sense.
That makes so much sense.
That makes so much sense.
My first...
Asians do play
with the shit.
They do play with the shit.
Quit saying it so much. They do play with the shit. They do play with the shit. Dude, quit saying it so much.
All right, they do play with the feces.
There you go, man.
Asians in their own country play by a whole different set of rules.
Apparently.
Them boys are freaky.
They take it over the top.
I've seen some awful stuff.
Yeah, I've never seen any of that.
You don't want to, brother.
I don't want to, and that's why I don't take it into my life.
If you want to ruin your date, scat babes.
No.
No, sir.
How'd you find that?
College, dude.
College.
We got a lot of time on our hands.
Someone brought it up.
You know who has a lot of time on their hands in college?
People who aren't doing well in college, dude.
Go to college, bro.
College athletes.
We're playing football and watching scat babe videos.
And winning football games
Alright what else you got
Number two
Man arrested for allegedly throwing
A three foot live alligator
Into a Wendy's drive through window
Was this juvenile
Who did this the rapper
This sounds like specifically one of the big timers
No he was 23
Oh okay okay This is in America rapper? This sounds like specifically one of the big timers would have done this. No, he was 23.
Okay, okay.
This is in America.
Could be. Am I right, Nick?
Can't ask that.
Do we get any clues? Yeah, if you need more
sentences, the 23-year-old
man had pulled up to grab his order
and a server handed him a drink.
When the worker turned around, the man
allegedly reached into the back of his truck
and threw the alligator through the open window.
Now, hold on.
Now, you said truck.
Okay.
Alligator.
Check.
The soft drink we speak of.
You just kind of blink if I'm on to something.
Was it a Sprite?
Do they say what kind?
They do not.
Because if it's Diet Coke, this is white boy all day.
If it's a Sprite, he threw a fucking curveball into the...
Yeah, if it was double grape.
It was orange soda, Brendan.
I'm going to go...
For me, he reaches in the back of a truck,
and it happens to have an alligator back there.
This sounds very white or Vietnamese to me.
Yeah.
This is as white as it gets.
Truck, alligators.
I'm going honky on this one.
Me too.
Honk, honk all day.
Do you know what the fast food restaurant was?
It was a Wendy's.
It was a Wendy's?
That's, everybody loves Wendy's.
I know.
Dude, they're chicken.
They're a nice burger.
The fries are nice.
The spicy nuggets.
Get that 10 piece barbecue sauce. You know what it is. You get a frosty. You get a nice. The spicy nuggets. Get that 10-piece barbecue sauce.
You know what it is.
You get a frosty.
Get the fries in it.
Frosty with fries.
What's up?
Square burgers all day.
Chicken sandwich.
Baconator.
They have one in Santa Monica.
Oh, yeah?
Wendy's.
Yeah, a lot of people are over there on 7th and Santa Monica Boulevard.
Everybody loves Wendy's, so that doesn't help.
Can you use it in a sentence again?
Was the employee black or white or Asian?
Do we know what the employee race was?
We didn't get details on the victim.
Any JPEGs or anything?
That would kind of give it away.
Okay, you're right.
Good call.
Good call.
All right, I'm locking in, man.
I'm going to go on white.
How big was the alligator?
Three feet.
That's a small gator.
Yeah, that's a baby gator.
That's a small gator. Oh, you could a baby gator. That's a small gator.
Oh, you could tie that around your foot and say it's a shoe.
I don't know why this is news.
Sounds like he's giving him a gift.
I'd be stoked if someone threw a fucking alligator in there.
Oh, sick.
Man, thanks, dude.
I'm going to raise it as my own.
Bro, that's a churro in Vietnam, dude.
Three-foot alligator.
Gang shit. I'm going to go white all day. Iurro in Vietnam, dude. Three-foot alligator? Gang shit.
I'm going to go white all day.
I'm white.
White, white.
White dude from Florida.
White dude.
Cat with the bonus point.
He was Floridian white man.
That sounds like some Florida shit.
Chin, you didn't even guess.
I know.
Wow.
Yeah, don't participate in your own life.
That's good.
Watch your life pass by, know. Whatever. Wow. Yeah, don't participate in your own life. That's good. Watch your life
pass by, Chen.
Okay.
Yeah, so Cat gets
that bonus point.
Man.
He did.
All right.
Give us one more, dog.
One more.
Last one.
Man urinates in Walmart
as he puts trout
in his pants.
Wait, how is he doing both?
Yeah.
Man was arrested
after he urinated
in Walmart
while trying to put
a package of trout in his trousers
and then told police officer that he wasn't concerned
because his crimes were only misdemeanors.
There's nothing whiter than trout.
The block is hot, baby.
It was 1.30 on a Wednesday.
1.30 in the afternoon?
Can you give us the city in this one?
It's Walmart.
Yes. Could be anywhere. Do we want to us the city in this one? It's Walmart. Yes.
Could be anywhere.
Do we want to give the city?
I can give the city if we need more.
Might as well.
You want the city, Theo?
City of what?
Where this Walmart's at?
City of God?
Brazil.
He also said he had been consuming alcohol.
And what he's hiding, trout?
He's hiding a package trout, so frozen trout.
These are not live trout.
Ooh, that would make me urinate, I think,
if you go cold, frozen trout straight to your wiener area.
Do a couple trouties near my pelvis.
And try to pretend like you didn't.
That's the hard part, then.
That's where you shock your nervous system into urinating.
But stealing trout, man, that shit's cheap.
Trout at Walmart? Yeah, man. that shit's cheap. Trout at Walmart.
Yeah.
Things are rough,
dude.
He knew it was a misdemeanor.
So he knows he's been through this.
He's been through the system before.
Yeah.
This just sounds like somebody who's just out there,
you know,
like they just happened to pick up anything.
It happened to be trout black.
I want to know why,
why,
why buddy?
He knows the system too. Well, it's a misdemeanor yeah this sounds like maybe somebody was like salmon that trout's cheap as fuck here we go
like maybe he's trying to go to jail like maybe he's trying to maybe he knows if he gets caught
it's like i'm not gonna play with too long you know i did a stint for stealing fucking crab
you can't take away your right to vote for a misdemeanor, right?
Yeah, there you go. I'll go black. I'll go black as well. Just because I've already done some of the other I
Can only say white so many times I
Think Asian again
Chinese Chinese Walmart
If I know Nick it's not a black guy.
It's going to be somebody else.
There's just never black guys on there?
It's just always Asians?
Asian.
Another Korean.
Here's the thing.
If I had to watch somebody do it, honestly, I'd like to watch a black guy do it.
I think that's why, honestly, because they would do it in the most fun way a great you know uh this man was from clarksville tennessee and he was black wow that was a cold case we just saw that that was the coldest case it was frozen it
was cold cold case baby i did think about as a bitch just doing three white people.
That'd be hilarious.
And I'd probably get them all right.
But it's good to know that everybody's doing crime and it's good to know that...
That's the important part. Everybody's doing it.
Race my case. So who won?
I think Kat took it with that bonus point.
The Florida one.
Like I said, I think that's more of a gift
than tossing someone a three-foot alligator.
I mean, it's a lot of responsibility.
When you're at work, I think give it to them
when they leave and work.
Yeah.
It's not convenient.
Yeah, you're in the middle of two drive-thru orders
and somebody fucking throws a new pet at you.
That sounds drastic.
All right, dude.
Let's get this bus on the highway. What do we have going on today, son? Fun game, though, guys. That was drastic. All right, dude. Let's get this bus on the highway.
What do we have going on today, son?
Fun game, though, guys.
That was fun.
Race my case.
If you guys have a couple, can they submit them?
Yeah, I would love that.
If you submit them, just include all the information,
as many details as possible,
and definitely try to specify, highlight the race.
So it makes it easy.
That's fun. That's fun.
That's fun.
That was a lot of fun.
Crime.
Crime has no...
Happens, man.
Crime has no color.
That's true.
I think that's what we learned, guys.
I did feel like I learned too, man.
What, Theo?
Nothing.
All right.
Dude, Manscaped sent me their new stuff they sent me the third
generation manscape trimmer oh i haven't opened it yet it looked pretty pretty frosty and i didn't
know it was just for you nuts i put on my face did you still work there dude it's still worth
wow yeah dude i look like razor ramon bro notice your fate your cheeks are getting real hard when
a woman walks by though it. I am noticing that.
It's a little weird, dude.
Look, I've been talking about Manscaped for a while now, man.
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I love the trimmer.
I still have the 2.0, but I love the trimmer that they have, man, the lawnmower.
Dude, you haven't started living until you get that lawnmower 3.0, dude.
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Right now, dude.
Well, I just know the stuff that I have is keeping my junk nice.
And also, what I start to notice for myself, you know, I get these beautiful kind of swaths of hair along my hips.
Me too, like a billy goat.
Me too, dude.
I use it there.
I get those thigh burns, you know.
I get real.
I kind of have side burns on my hips.
Yeah, I get some like chops.
I almost get like some side burns on the inside of my legs.
Really?
Yeah, I get them James Deans going down the middle of my thighs here.
So I got to trim those up too.
Yeah, you should.
Boy, it sounds hot in your pants, brother.
I bet your pants come off easy with all the sweat you got going on in there.
You ain't lying, dude.
I feel like a Russian.
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Bro, it's Super Bowl Sunday.
I know, huh?
It's Sunday, dude.
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Oh, man.
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Here's what I'm doing is I'm going the Chiefs, and I'm giving away six points.
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I think they win big, unfortunately.
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Amen.
What else we got?
Want to take it old school?
A little debate club?
Yeah, let's do it.
Towelie.
Look how high you are, dude.
Towelie.
Damn dog, I'm high as shit. Howdy-o. club yeah let's do it tally look how high you are dude fucking look at tally over there bro what's tally like a racial slur no tally's from south park the
towel is high as fuck he's always high oh i've heard that i haven't seen the the animal though
you haven't seen tally how high he is seeing tally oh hi yes thanks a room picture that Derek looks a little like Tally Tally he looks a
little like Bobby Lee roasted me last night Bobby did store what he said he
said Derek why do you look like a 1988 Oprah Everybody. Boom. I had to walk off the patio. I had to leave. Oh, it was on the patio? We were on the patio.
And he just came up.
Boom.
Boom.
I was like, all right, I'm done.
The starter Oprah.
That's crazy, man. The starter Oprah.
You look like the...
That was when she was broke.
She's always wearing baggy clothes.
Oh, yeah.
Still doing Jerry Springer shit.
Yeah.
Look at this midget.
Yeah.
Yeah, Tally.
There's his eyes.
Look at this spicy nugget.
Oh, there he is.
I could see it a little bit.
He's always getting high.
I could see it a little bit.
That's me right there.
Well, you look like Stewie.
I'm a Bond guy.
You have the eyes of Stewie, though.
Yeah?
Yeah, from Family Guy.
I think that's a compliment.
I'll take it.
Let's take it as a compliment.
Yeah.
Tally's a compliment.
Tally's a compliment.
He's funny.
All right, let's do this.
Yeah.
Howdy ho!
All right, boys.
Up first, we got Danny from Brownsville, Texas.
Brownsville?
One ticket to Brownsville.
Huh?
Ain't talking about your high school.
What?
Brownsville, one of my friend's grandmothers
lived in Brownsville on the border.
Actually, she died.
She passed away.
Still, it's the memory that counts.
But she did live there.
Is this Texas?
Yep, this is Texas.
Why didn't you go to Brownsville?
There we go, bro.
Que paso, mi amigo, eh? Eh, sweet mustache, homie. Hey, yo. Hey, yo, what up, Brandon? What up, Thiel? there is this texas yep this texas here we go bro i don't know my name
hey sweet mustache hey yo hey yo what up brandon what up deal
love the fucking podcast i got a debate club for y'all
your hand off my face who has the better movies al pacino robert de niro
both legends both have classics but who has the best collection of movies
why is it gang signs uh He's probably from South Texas, Brownsville, Texas.
Gang shit.
Yo, you're Spanish on point.
Buzz, buzz, gang, gang.
Igual, papa, gracias.
Papel!
Bueno, bueno.
Si, papel.
Thank you.
Si, bueno.
Buenas noches, papel.
Thank you very much, our amigo.
We appreciate you sending this in from there from brownsville
from the border bro y'all hold it down over there hell yeah um that's a good question i'm going
de niro man that's how pacino pacino then yeah de niro got too political for me i'm going pacino
here's the other problem with robert de niro he was fucking crushing it when he was younger and then all of a sudden he gets this girlfriend
right and she wants all this shit so then he has to keep making these shitty movies
so he he started towards the end of his career started making shit movies dude being the dad
or the grandpa and everything you know i'm saying yeah dude the irishman's pretty i mean it's like
it's bad it's almost like a book well my problem is they look like avatars like the the the makeup dude just hire young actors
yeah just hire young i don't need the digital shit well it's just like now some of these movies
and i do respect i mean it's like when somebody gets into their prime it's like they almost make
a movie we just get to look at them for two hours you know or look at them for three hours
yeah dude that was so good i'll go pacino three hours. Hoo-ah! Dude, that was
so good. I'll go Pacino. Who was in
Taxi Driver? That was Pacino? That was De Niro.
De Niro, wow. Raging
Bull, De Niro.
Heat, De Niro, and now Pacino.
Meet the Parents?
Robert De Niro. Goodfellas?
Robert De Niro. Casino?
Robert De Niro.
Makes it real tough.
And what's some Pacino ones?
Insomniac.
Out of all the movies.
Scarface.
Godfather Scarface.
Godfather Scarface.
I watched it with my grandma.
Carlito's Way.
Serpico.
Whatever it's called, Serpico.
You know where he's the cop?
I don't know what you're talking about.
That's a great one.
Yeah, I love that movie with the...
Hoorah!
Hoorah!
Scent of a woman?
Yeah, scent of a woman.
Hoorah!
I'm smelling money!
You know?
I'm smelling pussy.
Just a pervert, dude.
Some blonde guy wandering around.
Dude, I like Al Pacino and Jack and Jill with Adam Sandler, too.
I like that movie, too, dog.
He's good in that.
He is?
He's underrated. It is. Some of that, yeah. I'mlor, too. I like that movie, too, dog. It is underrated.
Some of that, yeah.
I don't know, man. Robert De Niro's a motherfucker.
He's a
motherfucker. Yeah, I mean, look, there's a lot of great options
out there. Godfathers,
though, those were so great.
Well, they're both in here.
I know. Yeah. What are some other movies
Robert De Niro's some big boys,
though? Casino.
Goodfellas.
Goodfellas.
The Intern.
I'm just naming all the shitty ones. He's had some rough ones.
He had some rough ones.
He had some rough ones.
I think Babe, Pig in the City he was in.
He was the city.
He was the fish in Shark's Tale.
He was a fish in Shark's Tale He was a fish in Shark's Tale
He did the comedian
Oh he's in Joker bro
Oh yeah that was great
He had to blast in the face
Spoiler alert
Well that movie's been out for so long
He was in Dirty Grandpa
He's been in some downhillers
Dirty Grandpa
Oh he was on Saturday Night Live three times
Dirty Grandpa was tough
that's an L
the intern
grudge match
like I said
he made some real
shit movies dude
he made some shit movies
and he got caught
yelling at his girlfriend
in a restaurant
because of it
he's like
this is why I have to
make those shit movies
that's what he said
yeah
and he only dates
black girls
you know that
so yeah
big point for Robert De Niro that's another you know that I know
that dude only likes the black lady like the Kate's yeah yeah chocolate point
that's a huge point I'm with them 15 minutes men of honor okay let's get over
to Al Pacino then man this is too many movies this guy's done he can't be good
if he does that many.
He's gotten super political, though, too, right?
It's all political now. It's a little weird now.
I like when he cusses on CNN, though.
But see, older people get like that.
Older people get political.
They always do.
Well, there's nothing else to do, is there?
Now, Pacino has definitely held up better, I think.
Dude, did Tracy?
Wow.
Oh, dude, hold up.
Dude, Willie Beeman?
You're going to go after.
Every inch.
We fight for that inch.
We fight for an inch.
Every inch.
Hoo-ah.
Such a good scene.
Oh, my God.
What was that?
Do you remember when he hooks up with that prostitute?
Oh, when he's giving Sunday.
I don't think I've seen that.
Oh, dude, in my favorite movie of all time, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?
You didn't like it?
Like it?
What was it?
It was kind of, I guess, a documentary of Charles Manson.
What?
Narrated by Quentin Tarantino.
It was the worst ever.
Oh, I loved it.
Oh, I loved it.
Ocean's 13, he was bombing that.
Ocean's 13 is good, man.
Yeah, I like that one.
Two for the Money.
Angels in America. Gigli. Oh, I like that one. Two for the money. Angels in America.
Geely.
Oh, Geely.
That's a knock against him.
Any Given Sunday.
Dude, two for the money.
Devil's Advocate.
Chinese Coffee.
He was in some bad shit.
Donnie Brasco.
Carlito's Wave.
Chinese Coffee.
I'm going with Al Pacino for the win.
Are you?
You know what?
Every inch.
I'm going with Al Pacino because Sin of a Woman really did it for me, man.
Oh, I want no, no.
Oh, I want to smell some panties.
Dude, I wish we could play that.
And we fight for that inch.
Yeah.
When we get them on the run, we're going to keep them on the run.
We're going to go, go, go.
We're going to go, go, go, go.
We're not going to stop.
We're not going to stop.
We're going to keep going.
We're going to go after Rudy.
We're going to cross that goal line.
They don't keep going.
They're getting across the goal line.
They're just traveling around the city with the ball.
Rudy is offside.
They stand by that.
What else we got?
63% De Niro.
Wow.
Ah, fuck it.
That's all right.
A lot of people want to get L's today.
There you go, boy.
Here's a plate of L's for all of y'all.
L's up, hoes.
L's up, boy.
This is our boy Jamie from the United Kingdom.
Hey, mate.
Is that all I want?
What up, Brandon?
What up, Theo?
Kat, Derek, Chin.
First and foremost, thank you to everyone.
You guys make me smile a lot, and I need it right now.
So, big up.
My name's Jamie.
I'm from the UK.
Essex brother, Sheffield son, represent.
Showing off some little women at the moment.
And I've got a debate club for you.
What's scarier, spiders or snakes?
We don't get snakes here, so it's easy to choose.
But I have the impression that Theo has wrestled a python or two to the ground.
Yeah, in his butt.
I know that Brandon wrestled a snake or two.
If you catch my drift.
Beat you to the joke, homeboy.
Oh, be that snake wrestler.
That fucking serpent tamer.
You still fighting over in England, bro?
You're not telling us?
Fighting them cobras in my mouth, bro.
Brittany going
nine rounds with a meat
garter.
Oh, this milk snake.
Well, I gotta milk this snake.
This milk snake doesn't have a lot of
milk in it.
Good day, brother. I'm a huge Charles Dickens fan bro
shout out Britain
shout out England bro
shout out the UK son
shout out to Jack the Ripper
yeah yeah who else
the gentleman
shout out to the family jewels
the gentleman
shout out to shout out to the the family jewels the gentleman shout out to um i got the christy i
think was british shout out to the prince who was just like i don't want to do this anymore i moved
to canada yeah dude what's that duck out for this shit you think he was really sick of it he think
yeah he kept saying i need a vacation sounds like you he kept saying he needs a vacation all the
fucking time and just moved to canada Dude, I would love to do that.
Canada's great, man.
Yeah, it is great.
I'd move there.
Oh, bro.
Except for the cold.
I'd move to Vancouver.
But the cold's done.
I mean, cold's almost done because of the planet.
Global warming?
Yeah.
I mean, or just global changing.
What?
Global changing.
I mean, look, here's the thing.
Educate the people. You can't have winter.
Everybody don't get winter forever.
Hashtag never summer.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
So at some point, Alaska's going to get the summer, and Florida's going to get the winter.
That's the circle of life.
Amen.
So I know some people are pissed at it because they have beachfront property.
That's only going to be able to be used for ice skating in about 15 years.
Life is half full.
Of course.
I understand where the angst comes.
Scary spiders or snakes?
Dude, listen.
Any spider, any fucking spider, I can crush my fucking foot.
A snakey?
A snakey?
I'm not scared of a lot of things.
I'm scared of snakes, bro.
I'm fucking scared of snakes.
It's obvious you've spent some time with some men if you refer to it as a snake.
Snakeys, bro?
The snakeys?
Dude, I had one spider in my house.
You were there.
You guys came over to play basketball.
You guys brought it.
Dude, it might have came in his fucking luggage.
He came over to play basketball.
I go, dude, look at this snake.
He goes, you try.
All right.
I said, look at this spider.
And he goes, did you try to kill him?
I go, I did, but he fucking grabbed my shoe.
I was like.
God damn, motherfucker.
Dude, he was the biggest thing I've ever seen.
Really?
He was the size of the bug behind him.
I swear on my life he was fucking this fat, dude.
I took a picture of it.
It was huge.
People on Instagram told me, yeah.
There's one.
They have a.
There's a spider, I think, in Australia eating a little piece of muffin.
You can see it online.
Just grabbing muffin?
Yeah.
Can you Google that?
Spider with muffin?
Do you mind?
Have you seen that spider that grabs fish?
There's a video of a spider grabbing fish out of the water, dude.
And then throws a peace sign and goes back in the cave.
And then he puts it back on his Beats headphones
and walks back into his cave.
Spider eats muffin.
Maybe spider eating muffins.
Spider muffins.
Yeah, probably not going to work, is it, D?
Get less high, huh?
What do you mean?
His mouth is watering looking at
Susie's cupcakes right now.
We didn't say order 12 of them, dude.
Everything he brings up is just
Postmates.
I'm just trying to get you guys to order something.
Trying to use the code CATS.
Look at that spider, man.
The amazing peacock spider.
It has both of its arms up in the air like bring it in effort
damn dude this thing looks like freaking uh who's the guy that shot himself in the hand for the
giants plexico oh no that was leg oh uh john paul jones or something oh uh john john paul
no no he was holding uh he was holding a firecracker larry pierre paul yeah he tried
arm wrestling the m80 jason pierre paul. Yeah, he tried arm wrestling an M-80.
Jason Pierre Paul.
Yeah, he tried arm wrestling an M-80 and blew his fucking hands off.
Now he's like this.
And then he had a bad season.
I'm like, we're all set, bro.
You let him go?
He said, because of my hand.
I went, call it what you want.
You let him go?
Yeah.
Because he went down to Tampa.
Oh, yeah.
French shouldn't play with fireworks.
Yeah, you're right, bro.
Okay. I'm sure you've had some this in new orleans there's some shit bro oh there's some definitely some you got everything
you got the manacondas down there i saw j-lo i saw that movie the thing i don't like the most
down in in the south is a lot of frogs will hide in like the door in between the door i celebrate
and uh like the top of the door frame you know so you'll open your door in the door and the top of the door
frame. So you'll open your
door in the morning and a frog will fall.
That's a thing I don't like.
I just don't like
that surprise ass frog.
Yeah, and they're wet.
The snakes
or the
spiders. Spiders come in at you at night.
We had some ladies stay with us when we were young,
and a roach crawled in her head,
and she had to go to the emergency room and get it cut out.
You ever hear of those?
It's usually, I hate to be shitty here,
it's usually Asians where spiders crawl in their ears and lay eggs,
and they have to get it out.
But for them, it's like Sties in that fashion over there.
I feel like the Asians are always doing something so wild.
It might be some sort of ramen broth that they're trying to get out of their air like oh there's a baby bird in my ear right now
he's chirping away yeah oh what's that in your ear oh it's a family of four
yeah they're sparrows like damn dude snakes all day rattlesnake being from denver rattlesnake
ask your boy mike stud like oh let me fucking rap and run across Colorado.
Snot today, bitch.
Rattlesnake in the neck.
Mike Posner got hit.
When I say Mike Studd?
Yeah.
My bad.
That's my boy.
Who's Mike Studd?
That's a gay porn star, I think.
It would be a great porn star name, but he's a gay porn star.
You bring up Mike Studd?
No, he's a white rapper, too.
He's a white rapper, too.
Is he?
Yeah, he's dope.
Oh, right on.
Yeah.
He's my boy.
Yeah, ask Mike Posner about your fucking rattlesnakes, dude.
A little baby one.
Oh, there's Mike Studd right there coming in hot.
He looks a little bit like in that one picture in the blue shirt.
He has some dope hits, man.
He looks like a little bit like, yeah, right there.
Who's that kid that got took in Colorado, that little girl?
JonBenet.
JonBenet.
Oh, because his blue eyes?
He had them baby blues.
He's got that JonBenet face, dude. It that oakland booty you know ah that ghetto booty yeah um he was dating jose canseco's girl was he dude how about he was a he
was a baseball player at duke he's a pitcher and got injured so he just fucked he got all this time
off because he had surgery so he'd rap in the locker room all the time.
And then his boys, the teammates, like, dude, you're not bad, dude.
So he's like, dude, let's film it.
We'll do a party, and I'll rap, and you guys film it.
He uploaded it to YouTube.
Boom.
Wow.
Blew up.
Good for him.
Now he's killing it.
You know, especially, dude, that's brave, bro, to just do that.
If you've been an athlete to then try and rap, that's brave, bro.
Yeah, he's the man, dude. Gang shit, man think he's he signed with uh post malone he did yeah he's a yeah he's he has some fucking hits man i used his music for my special yeah yeah mike stud son mike posner
went to duke too coincidentally weird and blue dude. Damn, Blue Devils dropping them hot ass beats.
What else you got?
Shout out to white rappers.
Shout out to Christian Laettner, too.
Oh, dude.
54% snakes.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
But speaking of white rappers, though, we got some more.
There's nothing that makes me happier than white rappers.
There's not.
It's so it's just good for you, man.
When they tell you you can't, you can, you know?
Yeah.
So you know our champ's little brows.
You guys remember little brows?
I love brow brows.
Caterpillarize?
Hell yeah.
He went hard, dude.
He did.
So we got some contenders, though.
Oh, yeah?
We got some new ones?
We got some new ones.
Trying to knock off the king of the mountain?
Trying to knock off brow brows?
Let's sample brows again just so we can be refreshed with that dirty dog.
Refresh everybody's fucking memory, bro.
With that verbal gerbil.
Hit them brows.
And play the last 20 seconds.
Hit them brows, huh?
God, it gets hard, bro.
Culture, culture to the foreigner for my foreigners, you feel me?
Damn.
Hey.
This shit gets so hard.
This should be just the theme song of the fucking show.
Come on, right?
King in the sting.
Look.
Brendan and Theo.
Fighter and Creole.
Shout out New Orleans and shout out to Theo.
Colorado more specifically bolder.
Brendan came in with a chip on his shoulder.
But it's still bold and yet it's still fire.
If you don't like King in the sting, you're a liar.
Brendan's got like a thousand different hustles.
Growing up on Black North North Star back doing tires
Black rifle coffee
We hear you loud and clear
Your son on the email
Like please get me out of here
It's way too loud in here
Watching the Irishman
Eating pizza
Drinking half a beer
Now I'm the D.O. Vaughn
Looking like the type of dude
That tries to read a song
Smoking cigarettes
With a snapback on
About to hit the crib
And turn Snapchat on
It's all good
We still mess with shit
1800 Pico Boulevard.
Go get that hit.
I didn't get that reference.
What's that?
1800 Boulevard.
Thursday upload.
Not a minute late.
Y'all wanted to rap.
I had to demonstrate.
Brand new studio.
Y'all feeling great.
I hurt my neck last time listening to this.
Now let's go and get Chinna a date.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
He's my fave.
Nick, send me that track.
I'm going to walk on stage with that shit from now on.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
That shit is tasty, bro.
That puts me in a good mood.
We're doing something right when I hear that.
We're doing something right.
We're going to break this table.
Whoa, Lyle, Lyle.
You're right.
Call him.
I'm road raging, man.
I'm roid raging.
What's in that cup, dude?
Test 900, bro?
You got to back off, dude.
It's that D-ball dark roast.
Yeah, it sure is, bro.
Got it from Gold's Gym, bro.
What is that?
Wind straw with cream, dude?
You got to back off that shit, dude.
Dude, didn't you get your blood work done?
Yeah.
What'd they say?
Well, they said...
They said there's a lot of black in your blood.
Oh, they said they did find a couple brothers in the stream. They said there's a lot of black in your blood oh they said they did find a couple brothers
in the stream they said there's a lot of floaties on though with floaties on everybody calm down
okay yeah thank you yeah no dude no alarm here they said uh your blood work's fine there's a
lot of darkness in there but you know i was like we found some rays of light that's supposed to
be in there they're like oh we just found a crying jordan in your blood like oh that's
me yeah that's mine that's mine uh no what did they say i have a call with them today at 3 p.m
to find out but there's a company called uh well i mean this is a company that travels around and
they they'll come take your blood they did it last week after we got done i took my blood they're
gonna tell me this week what's going on but they did tell me that i got too much
blood in me so i got to drain some blood how's that happen they test this thing called hemoglobin
it's the one that looks like a halloween it sounds like a halloween costume and they test that when
and if you have it's high then you have to drain some blood so i'm giving blood away you're so
you're gonna give some blood and then are they gonna put you on the players put you on some trt
they might put me on some trt they might put me on
some trt or some uppers or sideways or at least no downers probably but uh we'll see because also
i don't know who's gonna get your blood i don't know somebody's like i'm just sad all the time
somebody's like where's my tail i got an accent i'm sad all the time i have an accent
for some reason i just hate this guy brendan I got an accent. I'm sad all the time. I have an accent.
For some reason, I just hate this guy, Brendan Chobb, all of a sudden.
I just want to be mean to him all the time.
I don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
Oh, I can easily tell you what it is, dude.
It's because you look like a fucking cannibal that ate his whole family, bro.
That's why.
You look like a cannibal that lurks around at Dunkin' Donuts.
That's what you look like.
That's why, dude. Let's go to the white rappers.
White rappers?
All right.
First is Daniel.
You got on that Jamarcus Russell jersey, bro.
How dare you?
Captain L, dude.
He's from your fucking neck of the woods.
He's from LSU.
He threw one deep ball and some dumbass like number one pick number one
but first of all then he bought a fur coat yeah dude but the fur was all fucking it was chinchilla
bro he died in a straight scissor dog remember he was like six gallons deep on that zerk
all right hit this white rapper who is he daniel. Daniel. Mike Vrabel.
Oh, shit, boy.
Look at that vest, dude. Rat King, baby.
Look at this, that hot strap.
Hot boys.
Hot boys.
Gang, gang.
I do the damn thing.
King in the sting.
I'm repping Big Brown and Rat King.
Theo Vaughn put it on for the mulladon
Every single city, he be lookin' for a single mom
Yeah, that's a trip, and I'ma drip
Like Derek Raw, doggin' with his chick
All the rat chin and premature neck
Cat quit hatin', get your feet out for the pic
Had to make it really quick, but tell me what you think
Say what up to Gianni, he a motherfuckin' twink
All right, P to Billy Conforto
Quit touching me, but keep touching me, bro
Yo, yo
That was fun, man.
That was good.
That was good.
Set of teeth on him, dude.
He got a set of pearls.
Really nice set of teeth.
Daniel coming in with that soft white heat.
Yeah, bro.
Daniel coming in.
That's that easy listening, isn't it?
That was some baby rap, dude. That was nice. That's that Jimmy St Isn't it That's some baby rap dude
That was nice
That's that Jimmy Stalker bro
Hell yeah bro
Like a fucking comfortable brother
Rolling through your eardrums dog
That's that white R. Kelly shit
Hell yeah bro
I'm gonna take my pants off bro
Yeah dude
That's that
A sex with only adults R. Kelly shit
I wasn't mad at that
No I'm not mad at that at all
Damn my heart
Put some great lines in there Daniel went in man all right guys in this we have another
one what this is the contender Tyler Dale oh shit Tyler Dale yeah Damn. Now we making gold, buzz, buzz. All about the honey, 10 whips, new shoes. And he got the money. Here, slick back.
Like it's always sunny.
Gang, gang.
Buzz, buzz.
One love.
Damn, shit makes me want to buy a 96 Mustang.
Put the top down.
Put the top down.
About to go to Enterprise, run a Mustang.
Wow, bro. A couple Mustang. Wow, bro.
A couple of heaters, bro.
I love that rat face they got on there, too, bro.
Is that a wolf or is that a rat?
That's a rat, baby.
That's the hardest rat you ever fucking seen, son.
That's a wolf, baby.
It's all good, though.
I know a rat when I see a rat, son.
Yeah.
I don't know.
What do you boys think?
So you guys are picking One out of the contenders
And then the listeners
Will vote
Between
Our champ
And then
The guys
That champ goes so hard bro
That champ is so good
Yeah
Well the champ goes hard also
Because
And we also have familiarity
With the champ
We've heard it before
It's a little stuck in us
I know a hot track
When I know a hot track
What?
That dude
We're like death row
That dude's got me deep.
I'm ready to sign him right now to Schaub Records.
I've said this before.
I've said it before.
I love that.
Schaub Records, the tow truck company?
You know a hot track?
Then get some of your fucking weave, bro.
That's all I'm saying.
Weave?
Bro, you got a wig on, bro.
Dude, you're growing your hair out to look like mine.
I'm not doing a mullet.
Yeah, you are.
This isn't a mullet.
Bro, that's a steroid mullet, dude.
Look at the back of that thing.
Why does it have a full set of hair?
Bro, is it kind of full?
It's real greasy, man.
No, it's so thick, dude.
I could put some product in there, bro.
Really?
What do you have in there?
Dude, I'm not growing out a mullet, So we look like Beavis and Butthead.
We look like live action Beavis and Butthead right now.
I can't do a mullet, bro.
I wouldn't steal your steez like that.
I ain't Bobby Lee, bro.
That's you, bro.
Bobby Lee did like check out my hair.
Well, dude.
Now, is that a typical Korean thing to do from Bobby Lee,
for him to sneak in and steal
someone's style is that very korean oh you guys did it so fast though he did it so fast if he
just slowly did it it'd be one thing but he did it so fast that's not korean you do it slowly okay
koreans do it slowly yeah because you guys you guys took over pop music like k-pop i don't know
where to slowly oh k-pop is music dude it's a brand of music it's korean pop k-pop i haven't heard it i
gotta check it out it's big dude is it good k-pop yeah it's super catchy you'll love it who's the
biggest one what's their name bts right now bts wow they're a boy so hot did they send a submission
for king of the state and And they're Jews or not?
No, they're all Korean.
They're all Korean?
But it's tough to tell if it's men or women.
They're K-pop.
They wear makeup.
They're like good-looking people, but you can't.
It's tough, dude. I'm going to watch them.
Oh, BTS is fire, dude.
They are?
Oh, they're tracked with Halsey?
Oh, I've got to get in there.
I'm a babe with Halsey.
I like this.
BTS, huh? Oh, dude. And they're beautiful young fellas, huh? Oh, yeah. Wow to get in there. I like this. BTS, huh?
Oh, dude.
And they're beautiful young fellas, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
It's hard to tell, dude.
Oh, wow.
They are beautiful.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Good-looking human beings.
Mm-hmm.
A lot of handsome boys.
And look at that on the left.
Who's that one on the left?
He doesn't look very Korean, though.
Oh, yeah, this one.
Here's the problem.
K-pop, they make these boys practice 23 hours a day out of the 24 days, you know?
And it's just, they they just you can tell they hate
Their lives. I'm like the Jackson 5. Yeah. Yeah, it's like Jackson. Yeah, it's like Michael Jackson's dad's your manager
What's all of them?
So they're all dying inside and no one of them are rich because Michael Jackson's dad took all the money
It's Michael Jackson's dad's band
Yeah, Wow your unscapeable
Well, I think.
Well, good luck.
Yeah, good luck, guys.
Send in your submission.
I'm a big fan.
We'll see how it goes.
Who, K-pop?
Yeah.
Yeah, send us something.
Just in general.
If you guys want to do more.
Chin, have a K-pop band send us a submission.
That would be freaking awesome.
If there's actual K-pop bands out there, amateur K-pop bands.
For sure.
You tell me you don't know any chin not personally they don't lie to us like you lied to fucking hot car
i did not yeah you did let's bring that up right now dude you want to talk about let's bring up uh
i didn't want to do it but i it just hit me bro gang gang no buzz buzz lie just so you guys know
and then the fans know too i literally we me me and my girl dated literally after Carl was picked.
But it sounds like there was something that happened on the episode.
And let's bring up – there was a comment that somebody sent me this image online of a – where you said –
An observation.
An observation.
Hit him, deal.
Chin and in.
Do it.
Where you said that you were willing to go on another date with Carl.
And then at the end, you tell us that you have a girlfriend.
So which one was it?
You're talking about her tits.
Yeah, boy.
And you'd be down for another date.
I also said.
Talking about dusting that Muppet with your wing.
Yeah.
Talking about that low mane.
Yeah, boy.
And then that low mane.
Talking about vein.
And that sweet and sour, baby.
Yeah.
Trying to vein up in that low main, boy.
You feel me?
Trying to get your egg roll in them noodles.
You feel me?
Yeah, you dirty little Star Wars.
You little fucking wanton.
Yeah, bro.
Oh, my God.
I didn't mean to call you a wanton, Jay.
Listen.
And I would never call you that.
That's a racial slur.
I wouldn't either.
But I thought we were spitting out foods.
What?
Either way, edit that.
Hey.
No, but you sound like you were in until we found out that she thought the age was an issue,
and then you kind of changed your tone.
No, I was still all in, and I was going to say that I was going to go on a second date.
I don't want to let anyone down, so I wanted to keep it up.
Yeah, let us all down.
So were you going to have a family with her?
No, but I'm saying.
Me driving across your family at night
and have little mixed kids
and let them down every night?
How long,
you know what I'm saying?
How long you keep this up, Chin?
No, we would've,
yeah.
You gonna put a sword in your heart
in your father's yard?
You gonna change your name?
Oh, God.
We would've ended it there
because we're not gonna go
on a second date videotaped, right?
So we would've ended it there
and then I would've told you guys later.
I would've told her too.
But you guys kept saying, we to find another girl for chin or something
all that stuff i was like no we got to end it right now i have to tell you guys right now
who's the company man is that what you're saying your company i literally went through all of it
for you guys and the fans and i literally started dating my girl after the carly thing after she was
picked after she was selected oh so either let you guys down not go on the date
or just do it and have fun but on the date it sounded like you were trying to go after them
juggles bro yeah a little over the top wouldn't you say yeah a little over the top so were you
acting you're trying to you're trying to get some teriyaki on them tits am i right yeah
never right never but uh yeah let's hear I just want to know the truth, Chen
Hey, what's your girl think about all this, Chen?
She wasn't super stoked about it
But she understood
Yeah, sure she did
No sense of humor
No, no
She was cool about it
She's not Korean
Oh, she's not?
No
What is she?
Vietnamese
Wow
I love Vietnamese
I'd like to say again
This is not me
It's not Kat
It's not me I promise No, I've met the girl I don like to say again, this is not me. It's not Kat. It's not me, I promise.
No, I've met the girl.
I don't remember, I'm CT, but I've met the girl.
Is Kat still single?
Many times.
You didn't know that Derek was with you
in whatever city you guys were in two weeks ago.
San Jose.
Where?
No, I knew you were in San Jose.
It happened on the episode, you forgot, but yeah.
It's fine, man.
You forgot again.
It all plays together.
I feel you, bro.
I feel you. Welcome to below the man. You forgot again. It all plays together. I feel you, bro. I feel you.
Welcome to below the belt.
What the fuck?
I didn't even.
Dude, you don't know when CT's here.
I'm like Batty from Fern Gully, bro.
Yeah.
Remember him?
Robin Williams?
Uh-uh.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, and he killed himself after that roll.
No, not the bat, dude.
Not the bat.
Sorry.
The bat was.
He had issues.
Sorry.
He had some bats in his belfry, man.
RIP Robin Williams.
So your girl wasn't too happy, Chin.
I'd like to maybe do a video with her and see what her thoughts are.
Can we FaceTime her?
If she would like to send in a video and let her know her honest thoughts, because I feel
a little bit deceived and I'm not even-
No!
I had to go through with it.
Right?
But did it seem, you were live with him, Kat? Did it seem like he was willing to escalate the date to sensual levels if it presented itself?
Be honest, Kat. Be honest.
No, hold on. Let me ask you this.
Did you know he had a girlfriend, Kat?
Did he mention it at all to you before?
Yes, I did know.
Well, keep it solved.
It was a cold case.
That kind of stuff. Kat wouldn't lie i thought maybe
so cat so he's on the up and up here he's on the cat was in on the light too
wow she wasn't alive i'm hurt guys it was after we picked carly all right so either i don't do it
or just do it and pretend and have i did have fun though well i'm glad somebody had would you have
let it escalate to sensual activities i couldn't that's why i said why couldn't you because i'm a girl
i mean that's how i am i don't know about the rest of you guys
what's that mean now we're throwing accusations around all i'm saying even with this girl for
two days no not two days got up them big jugs.
Carl was gone for like a month or so, right?
Bro, she had those milk-a-lanterns, bro.
I know.
You didn't freaking latch on to one of those freaking warm hillsides.
You're out of your mind, bro.
God.
She had them.
Daddy likes.
Bro, yeah.
It's going to be just fine.
Carl is going to be just fine.
Okay.
Are you guys still communicating or not?
No.
You texting?
I just texted her.
Wow.
And there we go.
You texted her for what, huh?
It's over, dude.
That night.
Just to make sure she got home safe.
Well, we need to find someone.
Derek, break up with your girl.
Hey, cat's single.
Ooh.
I don't know if cat's the one, man.
It gets creepy when we're sending a little cat out there into the world.
That's true. I don't want any blood on my hands, man. It gets creepy when we're sending a little cat out there into the world. That's true.
I don't want any blood on my hands.
Dark proton murder.
You never know, man.
We send a cat on some dark web date.
I don't want that.
Yeah, that's true.
Jesus.
At least Chin can defend himself.
Yeah, that's true.
He can always pull that earring off of his ear and pop somebody's zit with it.
All right, man.
Let's get through this episode, man.
I'm starting to get bored.
You guys got to pick who you like between
Dale and Tyler.
It's tough.
Pearly White Dale or Tyler with the wolf?
They're both fantastic.
And I appreciate the effort.
And there's no losers.
There's no losers in this thing.
There's no losers.
I think a good tiebreaker is the original beat.
Our second guy, Vicious, he made that himself.
No, man.
I thought Pearly White.
That's an original beat, though.
Was it?
Sample him again.
Let me sample him again.
Because the first homeboy used the Hot Boys beat.
The Hot Boys beat.
The Juvenile beat.
Yeah.
Which is fire.
Which is a fire.
Which I also appreciate.
Just listening to Juvi today.
Really?
That's a shame.
He takes a little long to get into it.
And also his magician, Rat King Bass, whatever.
His flow is not as good either.
I like his flow.
Oh, Nick's hating it.
No, Nick doesn't like him.
I love the lyrics.
What don't you like about him that day?
He's not the other guy.
Dude, you're working with that ass.
I do the damn thing.
King in the sting.
I'm repping Big Brown and Rat King
Theo Vaughn put it on for the mullet dawn
Every single city he be lookin' for a single mom
Yeah, that's a trip
And I'ma drip like Derek Raw
Doggin' with his chick
On the rat chin and premature neck
Cat quit hatin', get your feet out for the pic
Had to make it really quick, but tell me what you think
Say what up to Gianni, he a motherfuckin' twink
R.I.P. to Billy Conforto Quit touchin' me, but tell me what you think. Say what up to Gianni, he a motherfucking twink.
R.I.P. to Billy Conforto.
Quit touching me, but keep touching me, bro.
Yo, yo.
And he did that during his lunch break.
Yeah.
Awesome.
He did it during his lunch break. It was hard.
Give me the other one.
We were talking during his last beat.
The logo threw me off.
I don't know if it was like a weird.
Yeah.
Well, king in his thing.
What you know about him
that's term for the top when credit do deal man i'm talking about you grown man
really my channel seven leave you cool Yeah Rich, Derek
Oh, yeah, bro
Oh, dude
This is the better summers, bro
That shit is hard
I'm saying Ron Reilly number two, bro
That's it, man
I'm Ron with your boy Vicious right there
Beautiful submissions, though
Thank both of you guys, bro
Thank you
Shout out to White Raffles
Gang shit Keep fighting the good fight Yeah, see you guys. Thank you. Shout out to White Rappers.
Keep fighting the good fight.
See you guys in the future, bro.
And that's it, boys.
Well, that was quick.
Well, Chen got exposed, huh?
No longer a cold case.
I keep saying cold case this episode.
Everything's a cold case.
We're all going to jail, man.
We're all going to prison.
60 days in, dude.
60 days in.
Into what?
We could do King of the Sting
in jail.
Probably some good content
for us in there.
Yep.
I could see that.
I could see that.
Well, I'm taking my ass
to Ohio, dude.
I'm in Columbus
Friday, Saturday.
Are you really?
Yeah, I am, dude. Shout out to my boy Maurice Cl clarette maybe i'll come out there and see you bro yeah maybe
gang shit uh i'm going to las vegas so i'll be there friday and saturday and that's it that's
what's going on i got orville coming up oh that's a fun one yeah i'm excited man you'll love that
one and send in all those video submissions. We need some relationship advice.
That is driving up.
Oh, dude.
I forgot.
Relationship advice.
People are probably dying.
Yeah.
Well, they need to ask then.
I know.
We'll help them out.
Send them in.
Debate clubs.
King of the Sting.
Yes, we have the information you need.
Get to us.
Any Clown My Hound or Shide My Ride, it's way better if you use a video and tell us
a little bit about the animal.
Don't just set it in JPEGs.
Yeah, sending in a dirty JPEG of an animal.
Some guys have been also, there's deceased animals somebody's sending in.
It's getting a little seedy, some of it.
Yeah, girls are sending in videos for threesomes.
Stop being wild, y'all.
Regular submissions.
Wow.
Hey, Terry, come on, man.
Speak for yourself. All of a sudden, lying like Chen. Hey, Terry, come on, man. Speak for yourself.
All of a sudden, lying like Chin.
Yeah, dude.
Not all of us are just waking up and bonging out and busting in the closest thing to us every day, okay?
Some of us are out looking for our lives, baby.
Some of us want to live, bro.
Yeah, yeah.
Start my morning right, dog.
Yeah.
Hottie ho!
Smoke Roe Winfrey over here, man.
Sir Smoke-a-Lot, take it easy, bro.
Smoke-a-Lot Chimney.
You got to back off that bus.
Smokey Larkin over here.
Bro, what if you quit smoking weed?
I bet you would look just like a son.
That would be the crazy thing.
I'd just get small and indie and nervous.
Real nervous. This is your brain on weed stop smoking weed you look like genuine
Do that was a me too movement fucking waitin. Dude, I was trying to fuck somebody.
Oh, bro, that was the best song to put on if you were trying to hook up.
Oh, dude.
Dude, you got that on your apartment?
Oh, dude.
I was like, somebody's sucking, dude.
You know the steez.
Too bad I was seven years old when it came out.
That's the problem.
Yeah, me too, dude. Getting my penis out when it was the awkward part.
I'm out.
Buzz, buzz, gang, gang.