The Golden Hour - Episode 70: Chuck O' Cheese's

Episode Date: May 22, 2020

The gang welcomes Culture Corner guest Irish Mark Hayes In Studio and talk Pikey Fights, Ejaculation Shame, Erotic Poems, Canada vs Mexico, Chuck E. Cheese, Fanny Packs vs Wallets..., All New Sink My Ink's, Stretchy Jorts, Flirty Grandma Relationship Advice and much more!Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/katsManscaped - https://manscaped.com/ code: KINGSTINGSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 That Panty Popper. That Panty Popper. Drip Groppity. Drip Groppity. Denver Sack, bitches. Me when I'm fucking a million Panty Popper. Back off my broccolini. Get your life together.
Starting point is 00:00:27 It is. Don't touch me, bro. I'm not touching you, dude. Who brings one mint to a damn breath festival, brother? Dude, this is Corona times. Huh? Corona times. Can't be sharing mints.
Starting point is 00:00:38 What are you keeping other mints at the house? Yeah, spread them out. Six feet apart. You do seem like the kind of guy who would open up a can of mints at home and leave most of them at home so you don't have to share them dude that seemed like a total youtube comment somebody were right brendan seemed like the kind of guy that would open up a thing of mints and leave most of them at home yeah what you've been doing dude what was the best youtube comment that i ever heard What have you been doing, dude?
Starting point is 00:01:03 What was the best YouTube comment that I ever heard? Some dog shit. A lot of them are bad. Dude, the funniest one I... It's a little racist, but it's so funny. They said, Chappelle looks like Wesley Snipes in Blackface. Oh, no. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Starting point is 00:01:25 That's what I'm doing. What the fuck is wrong with people? What the fuck is wrong with people? How'd I do? That was on my Instagram. I've never been on YouTube. That was on my Instagram comments. And you bring it up the one day he isn't here. I know. Well, we haven't talked about it.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Sorry, Chappelle. The one day he isn't here, that's when you bring it up. What a snake, man. The Malibu Night Stalker's not here, dog. talking about it sorry chapelle the one day he isn't here that's when you bring it up dude what a snake the malibu the malibu night stalker's not here dog i know dude just in that malibu rum get the day off oh he definitely every time i see chapelle i think of the solar eclipse i'm like damn is it march 22nd uh gotta start off with the fact that obviously Brendan looks just like his cartoon, dude. How weird is this going to get?
Starting point is 00:02:08 Why do you think I dress like this, Doug? Identical. They got me a little thick on that cartoon, though. Your boy's getting leaned up, bro. They got you looking all cute. You know damn well you weren't a cute kid. You need to tell Paul II to make it a little more realistic, dude. That nose and shit.
Starting point is 00:02:25 What are you talking about? Dude, what are you wearing? Why are you wearing that headband again, dude? Dude, this is an activity band. This is a male activity band. It's a male activity band? Yeah, dude. You look like you're in the worst 80s band, rock band of all time.
Starting point is 00:02:40 I do? Yeah. AC Gacy. Aerodick. Aerodick. Coming dick. For those about to cock. Arrow dick, coming live. For those about to cock. About to cock. Dude, you look like a fucking hitman at a sperm bank, dude.
Starting point is 00:02:53 You look like somebody that broke it. Dude, you look like you give lap dances at a spelling bee. Hey, hey, using a sentence, hey. I want the origin of the word. Origin of the word. That's all right. That was good. That's all right.
Starting point is 00:03:13 We said F a couple times, though. No, we didn't. We didn't? No, dude. Maybe we didn't. We cut down on the profanity. Awesome. Apparently YouTube.
Starting point is 00:03:21 Apparently this shows for kids, I guess. Well, apparently we do get actually hundreds of videos of people sitting here watching with their children. Yeah, we do. Which is extremely alarming. You don't, really? Yeah. You're educational. Imagine you were two teachers.
Starting point is 00:03:36 The poor kids. Kids would be lit. How about everyone's like, damn, Chappelle got a lot blacker. We got Mark here today, man. You want to introduce everybody to our new culture corner? Yeah, well, we got the usual suspect, Cat, over here. Hey, Cat. Hey, hey, hey.
Starting point is 00:03:56 And then we brought in, put up the Irish flag. We got Mark Hayes in the house. The pride of, where are you from, Mark? Cork. Cork. Cork, Ireland. Cork, Ireland. Cork, Ireland. And what is it exactly?
Starting point is 00:04:07 It's a city. What are they known for? It's Northern Ireland, right? No, no, it's South, doesn't it? Yeah, I knew that. Nice try, dude. 50%. If this who wants to be a millionaire, it's 50%.
Starting point is 00:04:21 And you got it wrong. I know. It's all good, dude. Yeah, you're right, man. Good call. It's all good dude oh yeah you're right man good call it's all good though you shoot or shoot yeah good call
Starting point is 00:04:29 we're all for cheese some good cheese yeah some good whiskey oh yeah how are the ladies in Cork I used to think they were bad
Starting point is 00:04:38 and now I'm like romanticizing them they're not too bad oh yeah yeah they're pretty good grass is always greener on the other side am I right
Starting point is 00:04:44 yeah now I'm like oh I'd love a girl with a personality yeah They're not too bad. Oh, yeah? Yeah, they're pretty good. Grass is always greener on the other side, am I right? Yeah. Now I'm like, oh, I'd love a girl with a personality. Yeah. Welcome to LA. Yeah, or back in Ireland, I was like, oh, I'd love a girl with looks. Yeah. And it's always greener.
Starting point is 00:04:56 It's different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess you got to come. You almost need to get a girl, like you need to mix a girl from there and here somehow. Oh, yeah. I'd say long distance is best. That's what I'm realizing. You think? That's really long distance, though.
Starting point is 00:05:08 That'd be the longest distance. It's like 98 Fiance, dude. It doesn't work out. It doesn't work out on that show. No one's from Ireland on there, ever. Because we'd have too much shame to go on that. Yeah, there's some English people on there. Yeah, some Brits.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Yeah, they're kind of stupid. And you said, did you come here just to do comedy? I'm trying. Because I remember you just kind of showed up and I was like, oh, my God. This guy's nuts. I was like, Chris DeLiz making too much money. You got a body double of him from hiring him. Yeah, it was just comedy.
Starting point is 00:05:38 I started writing books, too. And then I got stuck writing. What kind of books? Just about me being drunk in LA. Did you? Your Instagram's hilarious, man, when you say all those things about the things you've heard
Starting point is 00:05:47 from different chicks and stuff. Oh, yeah. I started, like, a blog when I first came here, then, like, publishers were, like, trying to turn it into a book. Really? And then I wrote three. Yeah, they were, like, number one on Amazon and shit.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Damn, I didn't know that. Yeah. Oh, yeah, because no one reads here, so it's pointless. Well, some people read. Hey. Yeah, true. The northern half of the show reads. Hey, is it audible? Because Theo's going to miss that one. No, it's pointless well some people read hey yeah hey the northern half of the show hey is it
Starting point is 00:06:06 audible because theo's gonna miss that one it's good dude brennan's out of his mind dude brennan's lucky i didn't fight in the ufc when he fought bro yeah i am lucky yeah because it means anybody could make it i'm just saying dude if you would if you would if I was fighting, if I had chosen fighting path, when you were in there, dog. Yeah, what, dude? What, dude? It would have been interesting, dog. That's what I'm saying, dude.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I would have met you at, what, 255? What could we have met at? Whatever you want, brother. 206 plus. That's heavyweight, 206 plus. Oh, anything above 206? Yeah, it's fucked up. I'll get it.
Starting point is 00:06:44 I could get 207 you 207 yeah yeah 207 I don't know if USADA's gonna clear ya but you get the 207 I could come in
Starting point is 00:06:50 right at 207 dude with a brick in the back of my pants I'd say you'd fight like a pikey an Irish pikey and how do they fight they just don't give up
Starting point is 00:06:58 you have to kill em yeah you got Tyson Fury he's a gypsy oh yeah he's a gypsy have you seen the videos on YouTube where like it's the pikeys calling each other out yeah it's. He's a gypsy. Oh, yeah, he's a gypsy. Have you seen the videos on YouTube where it's the pikeys calling each other out? Yeah, it's nuts.
Starting point is 00:07:09 It's a different language, huh? Yeah. No, it's English. It's just broken. Yeah, it's very broken English. They'd be like, I tried to poison you, you dirty scum.
Starting point is 00:07:18 I'll find you again. Yeah, it's like dads fighting dads, brothers fight. It's insane. It's awesome. It's also awesome. If you enjoy bum fights. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:28 They're not bum fights. Because these aren't bums, right? No, I'm saying, no, it's way better. Yeah. You know how big bum fights? Remember how big bum fights was? This is way better. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Because these dudes fight, fight. Right. There's no giving up. It's usually like two cars parked at night and the lights are on. Have you seen those? Yeah, they do. Is that more gypsy or is that pikey style? Pikey.
Starting point is 00:07:46 Oh, here you go. Doherty calls out and messages the Pat Coyle. That's where you grow up in Ireland, though. It was always like a trend of fighting. Was it fun? It was fun, but you didn't want to fight a pikey because you're like, I have to lose badly. Otherwise, you just keep coming back. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:01 If you win, too, they'll just be like, oh, here's his older brother. And if you kill him, what happens? Do you get anything? Yeah, you you win, too, they'll just be like, oh, here's his older brother. And if you kill him, what happens? Do you get anything? Yeah, you get a trophy. You get a trophy. It's like everyone thinks those gypsies look like
Starting point is 00:08:12 Brad Pitt from Snatch. They don't. Not all of them are shredded. Yeah, they look like Snatch. No, they look like a snack. Yeah. It's intense. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Damn, bro. And you're going over there, man, whenever the world heals up. I've been there before. I was supposed to be in Cork in April, but then this disease happened. So we'll be in there in April 2021, though, Cork. But I did Dublin two years ago. Chin went with me. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Time of my life. We have tattoos from it. We do. Boom. What's up? Chin wanted that on his neck, and the guy wouldn't do it yeah i did one on my neck it's the first time you can't do it i'm like i'm so down to do it but he wouldn't let me do it you should get the whole king in the sting crew on the back of your
Starting point is 00:08:54 neck that'd be sick or just the king of sting bolt that'd be sick too the bolt's actually a good idea because i wanted something right there get the bolt dude Yeah get the bolt I also had Chin set up on his birthday Get tatted on his neck And he punked out I didn't punk out It was a different person But now your person The one I was originally supposed to do a tattoo with
Starting point is 00:09:13 My person's in prison Chin He's in prison now So I can't book that So I can't do that yeah The other guy was legit too Oh yeah Chin wanted some guy from Ink Master I was like fuck dude
Starting point is 00:09:21 It's just a neck tattoo Just a neck tattoo Yeah dude just drive near a prison and have your car break down. You'll get one. Dude, your guy killed someone. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, the car killed him, but yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:32 That's fucking dope as fuck. I guess I'll pound that, but I'm going to sting that. I mean, no, it's sad that the guy, someone passed away, but I'm saying it makes your tattoo harder, I feel like. Well, I was supposed to get, so that crash happened, I think, on Saturday night or Sunday. And I was supposed to see him on Monday. And I did text him that morning and said, Hey, we still on?
Starting point is 00:09:52 I didn't hear back. What an a-hole, bro. Somebody accidentally kills someone with a vehicle and Brendan has the balls to text the guy in the morning. I would still do my podcast. I would still do my podcast. Bro, he's at a funeral, dude. No, he's not.
Starting point is 00:10:08 He's getting fitted for his uniform in prison, Theo. Oh, wow. He's going to be fine, though, because he can tap those boys up. Oh, that's a good point. I don't think he'll do any time, though. I really don't. If he has a good lawyer, he'll be all right. I hope he does time.
Starting point is 00:10:18 No. No. If he killed someone, Brennan, think about someone. Hold on. Let's have them vote. Me and Theo. Let's say when Theo was drinking, when Theo was cool. When me and you were drinking, right?
Starting point is 00:10:30 Let's say we go out after this. And we're both drunk, and you agree to get in my car, right? You get in my Porsche. I wreck that Porsche. You die. Should I go to prison? Even though we both agreed to get in the vehicle, and we've both been drinking. You were buying shots.
Starting point is 00:10:44 I was buying shots. We both agreed to this. Should I go to prison for life we both agreed to get in the vehicle we've both been drinking you were buying shots i was buying shots we both agreed to this should i go to prison for life is that murder this first of all sounds like i want to say irish nascar second of all is no hold on let them that's a good question it's really good question should i go to prison for life man slaughter by the way in there you probably hang yourself if you were in Ireland. I would be very upset. Heavy lies the crown. I would not be happy. But I'm just saying, legally, should I go to prison for life?
Starting point is 00:11:16 Nah. That's crazy. Is there a lot of shame in Ireland? Oh, insane. What did y'all do? Just disappointed God. Yeah. But is Shanae O'connor like the i could see
Starting point is 00:11:27 she's she's like your north star right she's like she just goes she's like you're will smith no jesus she's your will smith she's like uh britney spears oh he loves her then she definitely looks issue yeah she looked legit crazy she's still alive i think yeah she's legit crazy. Is she still alive? Yeah, she's all right. Dolores Keaton. But yeah, shame. That's why I don't like sex coming. Shame flies in. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:52 I might be Irish then, dude. I don't even ejaculate anymore. I quit ejaculating probably two years ago. I'll do sex, bro, but I ain't coming, bro. That's for freaking children. Oh, man, you're ISIS. That's an ISIS rule. Not me, dude.
Starting point is 00:12:03 Red, white, and blue. I bust nuts. Really? July 4th up in this bitch. children oh man you're isis that's an isis rule not me dude up you think red white and blue i bust nuts yeah really july 4th up in this bitch yeah oh my god you old-fashioned mule you're still ejaculating on people yeah why not dude oh my god america man what six feet away though what are you freaking i'll wear a mask i'm an animal. What kind of wet market are you starting? Who is still ejaculating on people in real time? Six feet away, bro. I live by the rules.
Starting point is 00:12:33 Don't be crazy. Oh, man. Nah, man. You got a dry dock, bro. No ejaculation. Leave early. Nah, y'all some bitches. Whatever, dude.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Mark, what have you been doing in this quarantine dude what would you say you do i mean because at night at night you kind of hang around drink i mean in the day kind of hang around drink iced coffee like and then at night you do stand up at the laugh factory yeah that's gone so what would you say you do i've been writing sex poems which sound weird but like you got one for us yeah but they're long yeah we don't want it yeah how long it's a poem it can't be too long it's an erotic tale they paid my rent last month they do the erotic tales i didn't know you could write like this oh yeah it's weird i did it as a joke like malibu was burning and i saw people taking naked pictures on the beach being like
Starting point is 00:13:23 i'm so sad so i wrote this dumb poem i call it a poem it was the beach being like I'm so sad so I wrote this dumb Paul I call it a poem it was like maybe like I'm so sad I'm so horny I'm on the beach you look lovely Malibu's burning and did this whole erotic thing yeah like couples read to each other before they have sex that's good either man dude I can't get hard on your broken glass. No, and kids. Thank God. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Thank God. TG on that one. But I'm going to say, yeah. But broken glass. Somebody shatters a window or something. You're gone. Erection gone. Like that, bro.
Starting point is 00:14:00 Like almost like my penis has ears. It's almost like. That might be some childhood trauma kind of coming back out. It could have been maybe. Yeah, I don't know. But it's wild, bro. Like almost like my penis has ears. It's almost like. That might be some childhood trauma kind of coming back out. It could have been maybe. Yeah, I don't know, but it's wild, man. One time this lady threw a slipper, like a hard slipper, like a shoe. Like an Ugg? At a window and shattered it.
Starting point is 00:14:17 Game over. Game over, dude. That's my time. Yeah. That's my time. At least you know. Huh? At least you know. You know, I'm glad i know some things man dude one thing right now health experts they're not always right which we've learned in this corona times but one thing they are right about a perfect diet doesn't exist man even when you're eating healthy balanced diet
Starting point is 00:14:40 it can be tough to cover your bases so So Athletic Greens went, and they delivered, dude. They delivered. They sounded that green horn. They sounded that green horn. That green horn drops that Athletic Greens right in your little stupid mouth. Daily all-in-one health drink with 75 vitamins, minerals, whole food source ingredients makes it easy for you to start living right. Praise God, baby, and praise others.
Starting point is 00:15:04 I'm going to say this athletic greens includes prebiotics probiotics digestive enzymes adaptogens superfoods and more and more what's in it more if it ain't green it ain't rain that's right delivered in powder form and mixed with water athletic greens requires less capsules has superior absorption and doesn't include any binders or fillers no just the green that you need man fill in the gaps in your diet start living right that's corona doesn't stand a chance if you're healthy and green green up hose down baby you know what i'm saying what i'm telling you is this bro i don't care if you live in vietnam or hawaii baby it's time to take care of your body
Starting point is 00:15:40 and uh did that finally break yeah dude i it did. I'm too strong, dude. Athletic Greens. Athletic Greens, man. Whether you're taking steps to break in your chair or an athlete for better performance, Athletic Greens takes the guesswork out of your good health. Why not just try it? Jump on over to athleticgreens.com slash K-A-T-S and claim the special offer. 20 free travel packs.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Buy it at $79 with your first purchase. That's athleticgreens.com slash cats. Good luck to you, kids. Oh, man. You know what? It's so funny, buddy. I noticed that flowers are blooming and the grass is growing. And it's time to mow your lawn.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Oh, wow, dude. And you know what else ain't cool? What? Having a bush in the summer. Nope, dude. I mean, Having a bush in the summer. Nope, dude. I mean, having a bush beer is good, but if you're having that natural beer, that body bush, you know. We're talking about wearing George. You can't have a freaking Afro hanging out the front, dude.
Starting point is 00:16:35 You got to start using Manscaped. It's the only men's brand dedicated to below-the-waist grooming. Yes, man. We're talking about that Perfect Package 3.0, young Theo. You got to trim up that front jack man that little semen whistle bro you got to trim it up yeah that semen whistle man how about i give you some a crop preserver the manscape crop preserver anti-chafing ball deodorant right for them ball sacks right for that sack dog why don't you suck on my balls papa yeah if they're dry and
Starting point is 00:17:01 you got some deodorant on them we'll see see, dude. For a limited time, subscribers get two free gifts. You guys get the travel bag and the high-performance anti-chafing Manscaped Boxer Brief. This is the perfect package for your package. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code KINGSTING at manscaped.com. That's right. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code KINGSTING. All one word. KINGSTING. All one word.
Starting point is 00:17:28 KINGSTING at MANSCAPED.COM. 20% off and free shipping at MANSCAPED.COM. KINGSTING. It's spring cleaning, baby. Yeah, get that ding-a-ling right. Here's a guy right here who looks extremely white. Let's kick it off with debate club. Let's get into a little debate club here with a young fella.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Have you seen the show before, Mark? You know what you're dealing with? Just clips. I like the honesty, at least. I thought you were going to lie. I wanted to come in fresh. What up, guys? Got a little bit of debate club for you.
Starting point is 00:18:01 It's that, hey, homie, shoot the six-pointer. Or, hey, bud, take a slap shot. Canada versus Mexico. Who's a better neighbor? Gang gang, butt plugs. Canadians are so nice. They don't do much for us, but they're so nice. They got the hottest chicks up north.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Go to Toronto, go to Montreal, go to Vancouver. Ottawa, Winnipeg. They're so hot. Just gaining tons of fans at bernie's losing right now yeah that's okay bro that would be a good name game name places in canada in canada it gets weird up there uh they get the cfl which actually hurts them they should fight i think they should fight here on american soil canadians yeah like why can't you have them on fight island have 10 representatives from each make it a 10 on 10 like an olympic type of thing yeah i guess they canadians are definitely nicer and there's no cartel up there a lot of hell's angels but they're not gonna fuck with you mexico yeah we're about
Starting point is 00:19:00 the cartel they have more resources than anywhere. They fuck it up. It's corrupt. They make great food, though. Canadians got maple syrup. Salsa for Mexico. You're just talking about the... Yeah, Mexico's kind of the off-white Africa a little bit. It's dangerous. You go to the wrong part, it's super dangerous.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Oh, yeah, after the zoo? After you go on safaris. Remember the zoo the guy tried to almost get us in and they had the fires? And we were going to do it. Yeah. And then the fire started and then we passed thirty four hundred dollars dude almost have a zoo basically looking at joe exotics before it happened yeah and then they had yeah literally a week later everybody involved in the deal was burned to the ground they all died so you definitely more barbecues down in mexico i feel like they call irish the mexicans europe why could you guys do like all the work catholic and just fun chancers pikeys will steal a gate will sell it to you that kind of stuff and they do a lot of
Starting point is 00:19:58 asphalt over there what else do you guys do they oh yeah we do actually yeah the roofing gypsies are hilarious though they literally put an ad in the newspaper for a car and if you want to buy it they'll go and steal it and then sell it to you yeah it's gonna take about seven eight days depending yeah one time my uncle saw uh ad in the newspaper and he was in the window it was his car and he's in the window doing the dishes and he phoned the police and the police were like yeah you don't want any any parts of that family just let it go dude it sounds so much fun the wild west out there that's fun dude yeah i'm trying to think uh oh god mexican girls are pretty hot my wife is mexican my kids are half mexican
Starting point is 00:20:41 Mexican girls are pretty hot. My wife is Mexican. My kids are half Mexican. Yeah, dude. Mexican boxers. He's not going Mexican. After all of that, he's like Canada. Yeah. That just hit me.
Starting point is 00:20:53 That just hit me, man. Damn, bro. I'm telling you, bro. I'll come up to 235 and meet you, dog, if I was fighting back then. If you were, buddy. That's all I'm saying. We're going to have to get you on them supplements. After you got off the real world, you got real juicy, dude. You're you got real juicy dude you have to get that you have to call up your boy
Starting point is 00:21:09 i would be gargling testosterone in the morning my teeth would be jacked um dude that's a tough and wow debate club who's the better neighbor oh that was the question i thought it was who would win in a fight no no dude come on man oh who's the better neighbor go back to fighting canada is a pretty friendly neighbor canada is definitely the better neighbor but there's definitely more canadian listeners yeah i don't know our market in mexico i think we have a lot of mexican american listeners for sure yes but do they consider themselves mexican or american i guess it's, I don't know, man.
Starting point is 00:21:45 You can be both. Yeah. So I would say, I'd say, let them fight. Let them duke it out. Yeah. Why don't they?
Starting point is 00:21:54 I think, I mean, they, sometimes they do. I mean, America, you see a Canadian fight a Mexican all the time. America runs on Mexicans though.
Starting point is 00:22:02 True. You know? Yes. Undeniably. Yes. Like it's for Undeniably. Yes. For the most part. Jeeps. It was a tough one, man.
Starting point is 00:22:12 Jeeps. What do you think, Kat? I'm going to have to say Mexico. I grew up in San Jose with nothing but Asians and Mexicans, so I can't go Canadian. I can't go Canada. And do Asians and Mexicans get along with each other?
Starting point is 00:22:27 We either don't get along and it's terrible or we're the best of friends. It's one or the other. There's no middle ground? There's really no middle ground. Like, I grew up and, like, I was cool with all the Mexicans that I grew up with, but Chin had a terrible experience. Oh, because Chin was in Texas. No, not just Texas.
Starting point is 00:22:43 When I moved here, I lived in Santa Ana. My parents are still in Santa Ana. And Santa Ana is straight up. That's like... Mexicanville? Cholo heaven, yeah. Wow. And they were mean to you, Chin?
Starting point is 00:22:53 Very mean. Is it because you were a giant Korean in their city? GK? Probably. Probably. A fat, chubby Korean. You were 300 pounds. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Now, is that their fault? No. There's still no reason to beat me up. But yeah, there's no reason to beat him. I mean, you could beat him more. They would beat you up and steal your stuff because you were big and fat? Maybe just because I was Asian. Because he was Asian.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Wow. Stole skateboards, bikes, fishing equipment. To be fair, you told me that Vietnamese people did that to you too. So I don't know if it's necessarily like a Mexican-Asian thing. Maybe I just get into trouble. I don't know. Maybe it's you. Maybe it's me. I mean, not to say that, but it's like... It's oneian thing. Maybe I just get into trouble. I don't know. Maybe it's you. Maybe it's me.
Starting point is 00:23:25 I mean, not to say that, but it's like. It's one common denominator. I feel you. I got you. I had your back. You were helping me with that. I was coming in with a mator right there. I was going to hit you with that.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Maybe it was good, though, because he looks good, though. Thank you, bro. Yeah. You lost all that weight, so maybe they, you know. Thank God for them. He reminds me of kind of like an Asian Doug Funny a little bit. What's Doug Funny? What's Doug Funny? What's Doug Funny?
Starting point is 00:23:47 Huh? The cartoon. He doesn't know. I've never heard of it either. Doug Funny, did you bring him up? Yeah. Doug Funny, what was he on? He's a man.
Starting point is 00:23:54 He's like a drawn man cartoon. He had his own TV show? It was a cartoon. He did. It was a kind of. Oh, Doug. Oh, Zach? Dude, you just call him Doug.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Don't you drop his last name. His name's Doug. That's a good of. Oh, Doug. Oh, Zach? Dude, you should call him Doug. Don't you drop his last name. His name's Doug. That's a good call. Yeah. Good call. Oh, man. I did. Well, my eyes are kind of beady, so.
Starting point is 00:24:12 I don't see that, man. I think you have beautiful eyes. Thank you. That was actually big in Ireland, Doug. Beautiful eyes? Oh, Doug? Doug was big here, too. Beautiful eyes, too, but yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:22 Doug was big here. Yeah, Doug was good, huh? Yeah, Nickelodeon Doug. Why did people, a lot of people hated on it, huh? People, some people called him a wigger, too, I remember. Wasn't he like real shy and super friendly? Yes. And there's Patty.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Patty's a real cunt, right? Was she always like cock-teasing him all the time? I think she was, she might have been Dutch or something. That's the whole crew there? Click on the whole squad. His brother was green, remember? That threw me off. There's his blue friend.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Oh, the bully. Porkchop. It was the dog. Yeah, Porkchop had a... I liked him. Wow, that was good. Yeah, that was a good show. That was a great cartoon.
Starting point is 00:25:02 In Ireland, do you guys... Do you have different... Who's y'all's arch nemesis? England? Yeah. Yeah. All the time, because they stole everything from us. You guys still think you have the best whiskey? But you guys are stealing it back apparently one card at a time, it sounds like. Yeah, you can see why they don't like this.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Yeah. They're stealing their stuff and selling it back. Yeah, I know, yeah. Are you a big whiskey guy? Yes, he is, dude. Do you know what? I drink whiskey. When we do shows,
Starting point is 00:25:30 I drink whiskey. I don't see you drinking whiskey. I come here and people got me into Guinness and whiskey because they're like, do a whiskey shot, you're Irish. And eventually I'm like,
Starting point is 00:25:36 all right. I don't really care. Yeah. But I'll drink a drink if someone hands it to me. Oh, yeah. Do you feel like you're letting your people
Starting point is 00:25:44 back home down? But I was drinking too much Guinness and I was getting to me. Oh, yeah. Do you feel like you're letting your people back home down? But I was drinking too much Skinner's, so I was getting chubby. Oh, yeah, yeah. Brendan? Yeah, so Brendan, I need some. How'd you lose the weight? Get a bicycle, dude. That's Brendan's new thing.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Join the thick boy bike club, dog. You know how many fat kids have gotten hit by cars on bicycles the past month? A ton. But they're losing weight. Yeah, they are, dude. But they're losing weight. They might break their jaw and they can't eat, but either way, they're losing weight yeah they are dude but they're losing weight they might break their jaw and they can't eat but either way
Starting point is 00:26:07 they're losing weight that's true dude what about the guys who killed the fat kids they're all in jail now because of Brendan they probably all died drinking whiskey
Starting point is 00:26:16 it's full circle dude but should they be in jail which brings us full circle that kid got on the bike to our original question we never answered your question what was it what was the question?
Starting point is 00:26:26 If you and I went out drinking, we both agreed to get in the car, whether you're driving or I'm driving, and you crash or I crash, and one of us dies, should you go to prison for murder? If I'm conscious. Now, here's the point is, if I'm conscious and I make the choice, because then I'm really saying if I'm conscious enough to know. You know we've been drinking. We're both drinking, right? We've been buying each other shots all night. I'm almost saying, Hey, I don't want to take the risk. You take it.
Starting point is 00:26:51 So part of me is really, you know what I'm saying? Not really. It's like, yeah, we're going to go to this party. You've been drinking. I've been drinking. Let's jump in this ride. Right. But, but still it's like, if we're both safe, we're both wasted. Right. And we know we both probably shouldn't be driving. Then at that point, if I say, all right, man, yeah, you drive. It's almost like me kind of wimping out. It's like me saying. I'm with you on this too. We've done that before.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Have you with your friends? I've done it before with my friends. I've done it. We're both drunk and my buddy's like, hey, I'll drive us. And I'm like, fuck, we both need to get there. Yeah, but the point is we both agreed to get in the vehicle. Right. Knowing we're both under the influence. Yeah. So you have to take some responsibility for it. Agree, I agree. get in the vehicle. Right. Knowing we're both under the influence.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Yeah. You have to take some responsibility for it. Agree. I agree. No matter what happens. Right. We should both take responsibility for it. Well, isn't the responsibility that one of you guys died? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:27:37 In this scenario? But that was the risk we both took because we could have both died. It just so happened, for whatever reason, I didn't hit the tree. Theo did. Or vice versa. And we both took that risk. He just got the shit end of the stick and also and also pun intended and also i don't think it was a pun there tree oh yeah damn bro also what your tattoo artist also hit a tree he hit a tree yep but hit a tree, yep.
Starting point is 00:28:09 But what I'm saying is, and I'm kind of like, it's not even like against what you're saying. I'm just saying like, say if we're going to get in a car and I say, hey man, yeah, if I'm like thinking in my head, oh cool, I don't want to drive. I don't want to risk me getting a DUI or something. I'm going to let my buddy drive. Then it's almost like me say, it's like. But you know the risk. I agree. It's almost like, you know, I'm agreeing with you. I almost know more. It's almost like I say it's like but you know the risk okay that's not the point it's almost like you know i'm agreeing with you i almost know word more it's almost like i'm i'm
Starting point is 00:28:29 like you know the repercussions like dude if you pull over you get a dui going to jail right and your buddies if my buddy's like hey who should drive and i'm like if in my head i'm doing the math i'm like well shit you should i already got one yeah i already got one strike yeah dude i'm already dressed like i'm going to jail yeah you. I'm already dressed like I'm going to jail. I'm already dressed like I'm going to prison at Eddie Bauer. So I might as well fucking... You're already dressed like Andre Agnes. He's going to be your bunkmate. That's actually true, too, because that means you're more sober.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Really? It's interesting. You're like drunk. You're like, I can do this. Yeah. It's a weird... It's a fucked up argument, man. I used to do that
Starting point is 00:29:05 with my brother when we were drinking when we were young we were both hammered like 14 I thought you were going to say 4 didn't you guys
Starting point is 00:29:11 I thought you were going to say my 4 and I was like I got to tie my lace you go home first and he'd be drunk and he'd walk in and my mom's like
Starting point is 00:29:19 you're drunk again and then I'd walk in and I'd be like I can't take him anyway I can imagine take him anywhere. I can imagine Brendan showed up to your funeral too
Starting point is 00:29:30 on his bike and he's just like, ah, could have been me and cycles off. My mommy sent me blowing to her, you know,
Starting point is 00:29:38 when you get enough DUIs, they used to force your car to have those things where you blow into it so you can't drive drunk. When I was a kid, I was like, I'll blow on this. It was't drive drunk. When I was a kid, I was like, how blown is this?
Starting point is 00:29:45 It was fun for me. That's crazy, man. A lot of trauma coming up today. A lot of trauma here, dude. There would have been a hell of a lot of trauma at 255, son, that's all I'm saying. Boy, okay. Alright, B.
Starting point is 00:30:03 You're going to be alright. Damn, Brendan's blowing in breathalyzers,ers bro i thought it was a fun game he blew a high calorie it said it's like okay you can drive 36 grams of sugar you can drive but it gives you directions not to pass any bakeries on the way home um wouldn't that be crazy in the future of cars if whenever you blow into the breathalyzer it like knows how you what you need like physically and stuff for vitamins and everything and it takes you on a path that keeps you out of the out of like that'd be cool a lot less fat people around any fast food or anything maybe or they'd be like fuck that dude don't they kind of have fridges like that? Like your fridge knows when you're running low on stuff? Yeah, they have those.
Starting point is 00:30:48 They order it directly. Yeah, but Mexicans, man, if you... I'm saying Mexicans, I think. You know? Yeah, I want to go with Mexicans. I like Canada more than Mexico. My wife is Mexican. My kids are half Mexican.
Starting point is 00:31:03 But I'm drawn to the Canadians, man. I love Canada, dude. They're so friendly. Vancouver's great. JFL's up there. The grass is always greener, huh? It's always greener on the other side. Wayne Gretzky's Canadian. But the grass ain't getting mowed, bro, if you don't go
Starting point is 00:31:19 Mexico. That's kind of a cheap joke, bud. Hey, that fence isn't getting painted if I don't go i'll tell you that that's a tough call man it's such a tough call are there any mexican canadian people that's got to be a rarity i'm sure but probably but probably 20 too many there's a lot of native americans in canada yeah is there oh yeah yeah a lot of them Americans in Canada. Yeah. Is there? Oh, yeah. Yeah, a lot of them ran up to Canada when everybody was killing them down here. A lot of them were from there, though. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:51 Because it used to be all just one big place, you know? Oh, yeah. It used to just be a bunch of Indian people, Indian or Native American people running around being like, oh, fuck, we're lost, you know? Yeah. Canada has a lot of Hell's Angels. Does it? It depends how you look at it. I won't say it's a problem, but they got a lot of Hell's Angels up there it? It depends how you look at it.
Starting point is 00:32:05 I don't want to say it's a problem, but they got a lot of Hell's Angels up there. Like one of the biggest chapters is up there. I mean, I will say loud mufflers are a problem, so I'm going to go with, yes, a huge distraction. Yeah, that is an issue. Nothing ruins homework, right, Chan? Like a fucking muffler.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Some loud muffler going by, which must be a problem in you guys' community. That's insane that in the Asian community, you guys do homework and also drive the loudest mufflered vehicles. Yeah. Which makes it so hard to fucking focus on anything. But pressure makes diamonds.
Starting point is 00:32:34 That's why we do so well. Nice. Preach. I like that. Who's this young fella? He looks like he's a Canadian Mexican. Oh, my God. What if he is, bro? What up, world?
Starting point is 00:32:49 This is Dylan representing Wisco, and now Santa Monica. Woke up this morning and read Chuck E. Cheese changed their name on Grubhub to a name I can't even pronounce. And it got me thinking, what a perfect Rat King debate. Who's a better rat? Chuck E. Cheese or Mickey Mouse? Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Now, let me be a little biased. Because when I was a young man, when I was in eighth grade or seventh grade, I lived next door to Chuck E. Cheese.
Starting point is 00:33:18 And then this gentleman named Nathan Dunlap from my high school decided to murder everybody in the Chuck E. Cheese. And that's where I used to hang out. Really? So Chuck E. Cheese is Satan's lair to me. I would never step foot in there again. And it's evil. So Mickey Mouse for the win because Walt Disney and Walt Disney World is
Starting point is 00:33:39 fantastic. That's Nathan Dunlap Oberlin High School Trailblazer alumni. Dude, that guy looks like nothing Dunlap dude Oberlin High School Trailblazer alumni. Dude, that guy looks like nothing, Dunlap, dude. That guy shot up a Chuck cheese, bro. What year was that? Yeah, dude. He's on death row.
Starting point is 00:33:55 I remember there was hell of a— He's doing music now? No, no, no, no. I think they put him— No, he's actually on death row. Oh, dude, yeah. They found him right away. These are misleading. they put him no he's always actually on death row oh dude yeah they found him right away look dude first of all i'm gonna say did the mickey mouse bro is basically no one has been
Starting point is 00:34:13 extorted more taken not extorted that's the wrong word no one's been taken more advantage of than mickey mouse 93 i was 10 here's the thing about mickey mouse though too walt disney kind of glorified nazi he was a nazi kind of activist i don't know if people know that about walt disney really that's not an eddie bravo conspiracy yeah it's facts yeah still makes great cartoons and some magical plays but well yeah he had some different hobbies we ain't just talking about cartoon but bro you don't get one one great thing without the other that's the thing give or
Starting point is 00:34:45 take there's two sides of the totter bro i'm going chucky cheese bro first how dare you after the story i just told you yeah you when did you go to chucky you bail out on everybody that dies brendan okay when did you go the guy died in the car at the tattoo shop he you're screw that guy nathan caplan or whatever that fucktard's name was sorry f tard no that's fine he kills three people and now you're not going to have pizza anymore way more than three yeah no i'm not going back there they shut it down they turned into a super salad place yeah dude because that's all this was left of people after he shot him up probably too much dude sorry hey how about also chucky g some
Starting point is 00:35:26 bullshit with those mechanical like playing they're like and they looked all crazy with their fucked up eyes they come out every 30 minutes that was the show they'd have this fucking trash pizza the pizza was shit that's why no one's buying their pizza. They changed the names. Look at that. You know how traumatizing that is as a young kid? Look at that shit. That's Chuck. There's Pasquale. Put a little effort into those goddamn dolls, man. There's Munch right there. That's Munch's make-believe band. That's what they're called, first of all.
Starting point is 00:35:56 Well, Brendan, what you're missing here is the entrepreneurial spirit. No, I'm not, dude. Chuck E. Cheese was on fucking meth. Look at his eyes, dude. This was gonna be the next Disneyland. Okay, you don't think this guy had aspirations? You don't think he had a plan? And then Nathan Dunlap said, hold my AK-47. Yeah, and then
Starting point is 00:36:11 it's F-Tards, like Nathan Dunlap, dude, who I hope gets the electric chair, and he walks into the place and shoots up the entertainment while some kids are having a birthday? Yeah, I think he worked there and they fired him. You try selling bad pizza in every trap house neighborhood in America and see if it ain't
Starting point is 00:36:30 hard to do. It's easy to be Mickey Mouse when you got bitches. Well, they started somewhere, dude. Walt Disney didn't start off fucking with just a Donald Trump investment. He started from nothing. I think Walt Disney obviously. He created a goddamn world, son. Disney World?
Starting point is 00:36:48 Yeah, I've heard of it. What I'm saying is, though, is that you're missing the underdog spirit, man. Here you got a guy selling horrible pizza in shitty neighborhoods while kids are crying, dude. Yes. Kids are crying. The place is filled with COVID. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:03 They had the ball pit just filled with sars and shit armor a piece of scalp in the ball pit that one time and but i'm saying man you're missing the entrepreneurial spirit i'm going with chuck cheeses bro till i die dog disney you dude you get you you get stuck over there in line there's 700 people in line everybody likes disney world it's freaking so Latino. Hey, man. Hey, Mickey. It's not Mexico, dude. Hey, Mickey. Shoot the six pointer, huh?
Starting point is 00:37:32 Pass it to Donald. Donald's willow is our dad's name, Ricky. What I'm saying is, bro, you get mucked over there. It costs you thousands of dollars to get your freaking chubby kid through 900 lines. You get sunburned sunstroke
Starting point is 00:37:46 grandma doesn't give a fuck yeah dude and Chuck E. Cheese is $7 and you walk away with SARS bro or you get murdered yeah
Starting point is 00:37:55 there's not been a shooting at Disneyland hey you take a chance let's go to Ireland what do you think man is Chuck E. Cheese real yes it's a real piece of shit
Starting point is 00:38:03 oh my god bro literally Vernon doesn't know about business dude it's not a real piece of shit. Vernon doesn't know about business, dude. It's not a real piece of shit. It's an up and coming. Dude, I grew up next to one, you fuck. Yeah. You went when you were older.
Starting point is 00:38:13 It doesn't count. Go when you're a kid. It's traumatizing. I went when I was a kid. I was sick to my stomach and that bullshit pizza and those. Yeah, dude, my cousin got his freaking arm stuck in the back of the mouse. Okay? Dude, Disneyland does real work.
Starting point is 00:38:31 There's actual fucking human beings in those suits all day. 100 degree weather. Go to Disney World. They're swatting. They're swatting. Human beings, bro? Yes, there are. But I will also say it is a nesting ground for young gay men who are using drugs
Starting point is 00:38:43 and meeting up in Florida and Southern California to hide behind costumes to do sex with each other. This is a good point. And drugs, Chin. Chime in, dude, or get out, Chin. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:39:00 I'm looking at Chuck E. Cheese. You sit there and you just pussyfoot through it all, okay? What are you talking about? With your banjo and your bullshit. Take a side. Take a side, you MF. I remember going to Chuck E. Cheese. You sit there and you just pussyfoot through it all, okay? What are you talking about? With your banjo and your bullshit. Take a side.
Starting point is 00:39:07 Take a side, you MF. I remember going to Chuck E. Cheese. I remember the mascot had like a tube coming out of it, and it freaked me out. It's called cords, Chin. No, it's like a dialysis. It's called cutting budget, dude. No, no, it's a firm to breathe or something. You want cords or you want real cheese, but you can't have both.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Because they were gas powered in the beginning. That's a choke. That's a choke on want cords. We want real cheese, but you can't have both. Because they were gas-powered in the beginning. That's a choke. That's a choke on it. That's the only problem, bro. You guys have... It was gas-powered and the fumes ran in the goddamn ball pit. How do you think I turned out so fucked up, man? Because I spent my summers at Chuck E. Cheese.
Starting point is 00:39:38 That was your... No, you did that on your own. No, I didn't. My mama dropped us off, dude. If I dropped us off, I mean, we'd walk across the street. Culture Corner, what do you guys think, man? I can't handle anymore of this. I feel, I don't know what a K-Hall is.
Starting point is 00:39:52 I can't even K-Hall, but it looks like Chuck E. Cheese. It is, dude. And I'm down for Chuck E. Cheese, though. Theo sold it to me. That sold it? Look at him. He would definitely be a fan. I told you Chuck E. Cheese had a mass murder. And he sold it. Look at him. He would definitely be a fan. I told you Chuckie's had a mass murder.
Starting point is 00:40:06 And he sold it? One mass murder. Yeah, well, why don't you take your baby to frickin' Disneyland where an alligator will eat him? No, he won't. Yes, he will. It happened. Remember? It happened.
Starting point is 00:40:16 That happened. The dude let the kid swim in the fuckin' waters of Florida. That's not a Disney problem. That's a Florida problem. Wouldn't happen in Chuck E. Cheese. Yes, because they can't afford oceanfront property. That's not the point. Everybody can't get molested in the ball pit and then eating bullshit pizza, man.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Chuck E. Cheese is for fucking terrorists. I'm going to Chuck E. Cheese after this. You need a kid. Yeah, you can't go without a kid anymore. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm just fighting one there. Yeah, dude, you can't go without a kid anymore. Oh, really? Yeah. I'm just fighting one there. Yeah, dude, you can't go without a kid anymore, which is insane.
Starting point is 00:40:48 You can. It also makes a lot of sense. Well, but here's the thing, bro. Yeah, because the last guy that came without a kid shot everybody in the whole place. Facts. Those are facts. Those are facts. You gotta have a kid, man.
Starting point is 00:41:10 He had a gun, and they pretended the kid was a gun in a kid's shoe around the butt of an AR. And they're like, oh, that kid's real skinny. That's a skinny kid, man. Imagine you walked into a Chuck E. Cheese, and he's sitting on his own eating a pizza. Yeah. That was my summers, man. I can easily imagine. Nathan Dunlap said, no more summers for you, bud. He was saving you from doing something dark.
Starting point is 00:41:29 That's what he was doing. Who's this fucking Allie Cat Thor up there? Cat, what do you think? Let's get one more. Well, I grew up in San Jose where there is the biggest Chuck E. Cheese in the nation. And so it was like this crazy two-story Chuck E. Cheese. It was great. But at the same time, I feel like kids were getting kidnapped left and right there.
Starting point is 00:41:49 It's a sex trafficking scheme. Yeah. I'm sold. Talk about business opportunity. I'm all in on Chuck E. I'm all in. Man, fuck y'all. Y'all a bunch of creeps, man.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Anybody who says Chuck E. Cheese is a goddamn pedophile. You should open O'Chucky Cheeses in Ireland. Chuck E. O'Cheeses. That in Ireland. Chucky O'Cheese. That would be the best. O'Cheesies. Chucky O'Cheese, he said. That'd be the best one. O'Cheesies.
Starting point is 00:42:12 That'd be a dope business, dude. You open that up. All the police are working in there. Hey, let's let the fans debate it. What'd they say? 74% Mickey. Yeah, because they're not fucking pedophiles. I'm with the other 20
Starting point is 00:42:25 Thank you and I'm gonna say one out of four fans Or listeners chose Chuck E. Cheese's Out of respect 75% chose Mickey Mouse 75% Well it's a different amount but Three out of four
Starting point is 00:42:41 Okay fine Here's what we learned That's because a lot of our proprietary go ahead i'm sorry mark yeah brendan's a nazi sympathizer that's what we learned just because it's popular you guys are up for mass shootings as long as the pizza's good you're a bunch of bitches man bro i can't even look at you the same. Chuck E. Cheese? You say that about a kid from Aurora? What's wrong with you, man? I think Nathan Dunlap, he's like,
Starting point is 00:43:13 yeah, it's right down the corner. There's a bunch of people that are dressed shittily eating pizza inside. I bet he was trying to go into your home, bro. That's what I think, dude. That's fucked up. You need to look up the case. It was after hours He got fired And shot all the employees Did he really?
Starting point is 00:43:27 Damn Y'all a bunch of Fucking bitches I hate that kind of stuff Have you ever heard What the Nazis have done Brendan? Not in America
Starting point is 00:43:35 Not to fucking Disney World But the Nazis did it On a bigger scale Basically the Nazis Are Nathan Dunlap But more A larger group
Starting point is 00:43:44 That's why I'm out That's why you have to go with Chuckie. Hit me with this young-looking Thor up here. Yeah, get me with this thought. What's up, Brandon? What's up, Theo? Just got done running Greenway here in Smithfield, North Carolina. I got a debate club for you. So when you go running, you're going to put your keys and phone in your wallet, all up
Starting point is 00:44:09 in your pants and your pockets, be that bulgy pocket bozo, or you're going to make them honeys drip drip when you put it all in your panty dropping, poon popping, fanny pack. He had to think about that one. What's it going to be, boys? Fanny pack of pockets. He did it. Gang gang buzz buzz. Buzz buzz, young Thor.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Good run, bro. Dude, that was a nice run. He got through it, but it was a struggle a little bit. He got a little muddy there. That panty popping. That panty popping popper drip droppity. there I can't I you know some people have OCD my OCD I can't have things in my pocket if you notice whenever I sit down, look at all the shit I have out. I always lay shit out, and then when I ride my bike, Thinkboy Bike Club, I get a fanny pack.
Starting point is 00:45:12 We're going to do Thinkboy fanny packs. They have fanny packs. That's cool. I put keys. I put my nicotine in there. I get the gel packs. I put my cell phone, cords, and you hit them trails. Damn.
Starting point is 00:45:23 That seemed like fun. Here's what I do. I i do something a normal person does i hide my keys in the woods near where i park you that's how your shit gets stolen huh no i lost my especially your jeep i did lose my keys actually once in baton rouge i hit them and forgot where i hit them uh but usually i put them in the tire well or i'll put them in the woods nearby under like some stupid shit, man. Do you do that before you park at Chuck E. Cheese? Dude, I'm not running with a bunch of keys on me, dude. Like I'm a janitor in a fire, bro.
Starting point is 00:45:54 Get a fanny pack, dude. I'm not getting that. All right. We do that in Ireland, too. When we left the house, we just find a bucket of stones and just put our keys in there. Callan did that and the shit got stolen just a few weeks ago. Yeah, he left the keys in the car. Some dude from Venice went, oh, cool, look at this gay Prius
Starting point is 00:46:13 and then stole it. And then Callan found it had crack pipes in it. He found a bum sleep in the back. No way. So learn from Callan's mistakes, y'all. Bro, it would take forever to do that. counts mistakes y'all bro it would take forever to do that we're not earth long enough to learn from his mistakes this is a one hour show um would you rather use for a jog pockets pockets is crazy anybody that wants a bunch of stuff on them all your shit man yeah damn but
Starting point is 00:46:43 pockets want 53 said pockets people are too scared to look gay listen dude fanny packs they're not gay it's a movement man yeah see but if you're a girl you can put it in your chest pocket put it on your job about that titty that titty pocket yep and then tip pockets that little tit mitt yeah that's the thing that's a big thing yeah and if you have big enough boobs sometimes it slips then flat chested hoes can do it but you got some tits on
Starting point is 00:47:08 you can hide anything in there really do you do they do people jog in Ireland it doesn't seem like we run in the rain
Starting point is 00:47:17 just run body fields really yeah it's insane wow are people very athletic in Ireland yeah well we you guys always finish
Starting point is 00:47:24 last in the Olympics. It's like you guys and, like, Sedan. Yeah, even Tyson Fury. If you watch Tyson Fury work out, it's like he's working out in his living room with his kids. But he's from Manchester, right? Yeah, but he's got, like, Irish roots, I think. But our diet is so bad. We'll eat so many potatoes and just drink.
Starting point is 00:47:41 Potatoes, Jameson. We're, like, chunky. We work out a lot to get skinny. I used to be fat. How fat? Like chubby. Give me a weight. How tall are you?
Starting point is 00:47:52 Like 6'2". Okay. I used to be like, you know I had a big fat face. I was singing one time on TV and I came home. My gran was like, yeah, you're too fat.
Starting point is 00:48:02 That's fair. That was her only feedback. Yeah. Well, welcome to my Instagram. And then you just go running. You know, Jim was almost 300 pounds. Oh, yeah. Almost.
Starting point is 00:48:13 But like shame is good. Yeah. Oh, fast shaming works, dude. People are like, dude, what's wrong with your fucking face? I'm like, yeah, no doubt. And then you steal. You got stung by a bunch of bees. I'm like, all right, dude, you got to come up with something else.
Starting point is 00:48:26 That steals. Yeah. That's how the bee sting started. and they used Theo's line you got stung by a bunch of bees I'm like alright you can come up with something else that's Theo's yeah that's how the bee sting started really yup I called you the Rat King from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and here we are welcome to the show Mark
Starting point is 00:48:36 here I have you brought up Bjorn Bjork yes for Theo's lookalike oh yeah we'll throw it up there debate club so be with pockets. That's fucking
Starting point is 00:48:45 insane, dude. I only noticed too, speaking of pockets, when Brendan emptied his, he carries loose mints. Loose mints. Also known as singular mints. They're nicotine pouches, dude. They're nicotine pouches. Very alarming. There's some Bjorn with the headband.
Starting point is 00:49:02 Oh, a little bit. God, I can't believe you played with all that long hair like that. What did you do, just tie it back? I have to get my hair cut in the garage tomorrow. Down the way, there's people doing hair in the garage. Oh, that's a flaw. It looks good. Everybody doing hair these days.
Starting point is 00:49:18 Now, what about this? Let's talk about this then because we've got to talk about something. What were you guys talking about? Oh, this guy looks like an Irish model, this gentleman right here. Is that Sinead O'Connor? Yeah, rage against the machine was looking for a model. This guy's going to kill one of us. Hopefully there's no Chuck E. Cheese wherever he's at.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Moving on to sinkink My Ink. What's up, Theo Vaughn Dawn? What's happening, Brendan Balboa? My name's Garrett. Coming at y'all from white trash America, Latin Oklahoma. Got a little Sink My Ink for you fellas. You know, got the area code, the shady 580 on the arm of my best friend when I was 17. Got it in my dining room table.
Starting point is 00:50:05 Mom and dad were pretty happy with me about that one. Got some face tag at that jade for Jesus, baby. Got Louis Vuitton on the stuff. Oh, shit. About to probably get them removed eventually. Make good decisions. Got the cult leader himself, Mr. Jerry Leto. Probably one of my favorite pieces right here. That's pretty good work.
Starting point is 00:50:22 Looking wild. Got Venom. Got the baby mama Harley Quinn on the arm, too, boy. Gotta have her. But love you guys, man. The show kicks ass. Gang, gang. Buzz Lightyear.
Starting point is 00:50:35 Buzz, buzz, young man. He went and skipped over that anarchy tattoo on his fucking dick root down there. Bro, but that means if you want some of his wiener, bro, you're getting some anarchy. route down there bro but that means if you want some of his wiener bro you're getting some anarchy that's i mean if a woman if she complained after like hooking up with him you can't complain they have that right there you know like hey uh your honor exhibit a this anarchy tattoo you knew what you're signing which is from my wiener he kicked in my door he doesn't need a key that's a ridgings that shady 580 bro i think that's one of the best things i've ever heard man out a lot in oklahoma taps at 17 in your living room king or sting it probably a
Starting point is 00:51:13 hard sting i've made some mistakes yeah i'm gonna say uh i'm gonna say king it man i like that i like i like bad tattoos that people have gotten some of these look pretty good man his upper those those joker ones the the cart the comic book joker on his uh rib piece there's pretty fucking legit yeah he's got a couple of jokers um he's a lot of jokes he has a black widow tattoo which usually means you killed somebody in prison but that's whatever he has an anarchy tattoo i'm sure he's a model citizen he has face tattoos the louis vuitton he's a model citizen. He has face tattoos. The Louis Vuitton, it's probably the only Louis Vuitton in Oklahoma.
Starting point is 00:51:48 That's whatever. This dude has definitely fist fought somebody at a Jimmy John's before. Did I dare you to talk shit about the Oklahoma Sooners around this guy? Yeah. Look, man, I guess I'm just a little afraid to talk shit about this. But I don't need that that one is a spider. I don't even think that's a – I think that's a real spider he has that's just living on his peck right there.
Starting point is 00:52:16 I wish you would have gotten some more of them dicey tattoos. He has some real shit on them, man. I mean, what I like is I like the shady one from the beginning. I think being willing to let somebody else, unless you did it yourself. I like that old shady style. When I was growing up, people would get it with the little thing of ink and the needle. And it was no game plan, no stencil. No straight lines.
Starting point is 00:52:37 Yeah, somebody who definitely can't even read or spell with their writing. Your friends on all the fucking Mountain Dew he can handle. Shaky hands. But you get it done one way or the other, man. That shady 580. Gang, bro, I like them, man. Thanks for sending them in, dude.
Starting point is 00:52:53 Moving on. This is half debate club, half sink my ink. I feel like I've met this guy. Hey, Brendan. Hey, Theo. We're here at Great American Ballpark.
Starting point is 00:53:02 We got a king in our stinger for you. Getting matching tattoos three months into our relationship life rips gang gang you know what sting it bro sting it dude don't bring that shit in here
Starting point is 00:53:22 you guys didn't get matching how people get hearts With initials Or you know People get initials Inside their lip and shit Or the infinity sign Yeah At least they didn't get
Starting point is 00:53:29 All that gay shit At least if they break up Life rips That could be whatever Yeah You're not tied to life rips To your man Yeah that's true
Starting point is 00:53:37 It's the worst when people Get matched to that dude That's tied you know It's like their name You fucked up son Yeah Life rips is cool Life does rip around here you know i'm
Starting point is 00:53:45 saying yeah three months in is nuts three months in is a little aggressive yeah that's the part that's aggressive man but it's a tattoo that's not tied to her or him that's why it's smart what i like is you can change it if something happens you could get life trips or or you could get Life. Life Tips. Life. Life Tips. Life Rips. Life Trips. No, you can't get Life Tips. Yeah, you could change it.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Oh, you could change the R, you think? Oh, yeah. The other thing is they decided to go with the typewriter font, which I find interesting. Yeah. Life Dips. You could get a little can of Copenhagen on there. At least they didn't get the big one together. What is that?
Starting point is 00:54:29 A dog. I mean, look, man, it's March Nemesis Chris D'Elia, so I can't fucking support the shit, but at the same time, I love it that you and your girlfriend care about each other. Three months, when you know, you know. Yeah. Life rips.
Starting point is 00:54:41 That's a giraffe. Ooh, that's drippy. I'm down for that. I don't see a lot of giraffe tattoos. Yeah, I like that raft, bro. Sweet raft, bro. Yeah, sweet raft, dude. You should get a stretch on the other one, dude.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Get an ostrich on there. You're jealous of long necks, dude. You got that limited neck. That's true. I've never been able to look that far around. Watch this. No movement, really. Limited, they said.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Limited. 40%. Yeah. You get an owl tattoo. And decreasing, the woman said. That crazy? Gotta hit that physical therapy, dog. That's who said it.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Get us a band. Take your boy Longneck. Let him give you some help. He's doing drugs, I I think and he's been he really just got into pornography it seems like you know what
Starting point is 00:55:30 not surprised I tried to give him some words say man you could do something exciting bro you know
Starting point is 00:55:37 do a special you know ruler or something you know do something unique that nobody else can do do something that
Starting point is 00:55:43 stretches your neck out a device that stretches other people's neck. Yeah. A scarf collection? Yeah, a scarf, a real nice, like, ooh, a slinky collection. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Could you imagine the scarves he could sell or slinkies he could have sold? Really, real missed opportunity.
Starting point is 00:55:58 And then he can collab with Thick Neck. They did a collab. Oh, they did do a collab. But Supreme Patty allegedly, like, screwed him out of a bunch of money before he went to jail it's a dark web bro it's a very dark web look man let me tell you this dude
Starting point is 00:56:12 it gets pretty dark yeah that is the dark web this is the level after this level of King of the State it gets pretty dark okay there's a lot of chucky cheese meetings yeah so we're in the shallow end of the dark arts over here them boys went full deep end yeah
Starting point is 00:56:30 they're there yeah they're drowning so yeah 87 didn't like these tattoos man and that's unbelievable and here's a guy right here who's in the program what step do you think he's on uh i bet he's been in probably about seven or eight years. This guy looks like my brother a little bit, actually. No, it doesn't. I've seen your brother. Yeah, it doesn't look like him. I don't look like your brother.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Who does he look like, though? Hey, what's up, guys? Looks like Chris Lee and Brian Callen if you kind of mixed them together, maybe. He looks like Lovato Jr. a little bit. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. Demi Lovato Jr.? Rafael? No.
Starting point is 00:57:05 What's up, guys? This is Casey from Los Angeles. Had a little king in her stinger for you. I know Eddie on the last fight companion went a little deaf Jack Russell. Deaf Jack. So I just wanted to throw it out there. Rat King on the next fight companion. King in her stinger.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz, young man. I would love it it i'd love for you to be on there doesn't he look like lovato jr right there oh yeah he does there you go another one another one um i would love if theo uh came on the fight campaign rogan likes the original crew though i try getting joey diaz on too you know he just likes the original four yeah i think if you have something good that works, I mean, I would love to go on. You know, I don't know enough about fighting, I don't think. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:57:49 I mean, we talked three minutes about fighting. The rest is about random shit that you and I talk about, so I think you'd be just fine. Yeah, I mean, I think it would be. And you know Dustin Poirier said, might get your foot in the door. Yeah. It'd be fun, but.
Starting point is 00:58:02 Yeah, I don't know. I'll watch the fight. I'll text Nick and ask who to bet on and then i'll lose some money and then i go to bed sounds like a nice night kind of how i do it you have did you give him uh walt harris over overing uh no i stayed away from that one because i was like i i thought over an easy pick man i thought over him would win but i didn't want to bet against the guy whose daughter got murdered i felt i felt conflicted.
Starting point is 00:58:26 I went 3-1. I thought I got lucky on Chido Vera. Or unlucky. I thought he won. He won. But then I won on Ige, and I thought he lost. So I went 3-1. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:58:36 That's really good. There were some fun fights. MMA's tough to bet on, dude. MMA's the tough sport to bet on. I'm obsessed. 5-7 since return from pandemic. 5-7? Yeah. Not great. It was and seven since return from pandemic. Five and seven? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:46 Not great. It was a bloodbath last week. You should have fun. I like damage right there. I like your boy Damage Elkins. Darren Elkins? Yeah, dude. That boy took some damage.
Starting point is 00:58:54 He reminds me of every dude in my neighborhood, but now he's an adult. Really? A hundred percent, man. Still fighting? Yeah, shady five. Just people who got that kind of tattoo. He's a stud, man. Somebody would come and be like, hey, man, look, I got the guy from Monopoly on my back.
Starting point is 00:59:06 And it took literally seven weeks to do it. And somebody done it with a needle and like a blotter. But he got it done. Yeah, and barely got it done. And then the guy would be sick for like four years because he had like a, you know, a blood thing. A blood thing. But what else do we got here? We got somebody right here.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Look at this shirt. How are you not selling these shirts, Brendan? What's up, guys? John in Seattle, lifting in my garage. Quarantine bullshit. I know you know how it is. I got a King of the Sting for you. Stretch jorts.
Starting point is 00:59:36 Good for lifting. Good for riding bikes. You know, whatever. Brendan, I'll see you in Spokane next month. Gang, gang, buzz, buzz. That boy had them wads. Looking like two wingstop drumsticks, bro. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:50 The wings don't stop, bro. They never stop. Extra crispy. Those wings barely yield. This guy, first of all, there is a six-year-old who's missing his clothes right now. Yeah, from the shorts to the top. It's too tight my man you can be thick but you have to let the whole world know dude yeah i've heard of a shoe horn but i've
Starting point is 01:00:11 never heard of a shirt horn i can't how do you even get into that shirt it turns around it's gonna look like beyonce putting on some jeans i love the idea of jorts, though. I love jorts, too. I want to get some. You should. How are you going to be for jorts but against fucking fanny packs? They go together, dude. I'm not there yet. Like peanut butter and jelly. One step at a time, dude.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Yeah. Step into the shallow end. Let's both get some jorts. They make all the sense. They don't have to be that tight, though. Why don't we have King of the Sting jorts? That's a good idea. And on the pocket says buzz buzz gang gang that's gonna do a lot of prison sex i feel like hey man whatever you know
Starting point is 01:00:55 um what do they think about jorts and stuff like that in ireland do they have nah how's the fashion out there how's the fashion in Ireland we like scarves and stuff we don't like jarts yeah yeah a lot of scarves
Starting point is 01:01:09 a lot of hats but not like a lot of like paperboy hats yeah yeah yeah or peacoat jackets yeah we all dress
Starting point is 01:01:15 the exact same you have to wear like black shoes getting into a pub or a club sometimes if you forget black shoes your friend gives you
Starting point is 01:01:23 black socks and you put them on over your white shoes pretty cool this guy needs my advice for him just go one size up and everything so if you're like oh i think i wear medium get the large dude but also double x you know don't wear medium yeah yeah the jorts i think are kind of all right looking on this summer is is coming, dude. Let's do it. You have an old pair of jeans? We can make our own.
Starting point is 01:01:48 I'm not making my own jorts. I'll make you some jorts, dude. Bring some of your fucking old jeans around. Brendan has to have a lot of jorts. Oh, yeah. I celebrate them, dude. Get the thighs out. Sun's out, thighs out, son.
Starting point is 01:02:00 I mean, I'm willing to put my legs out. I just don't want to. I don't know. You got that peach popping out the back oh damn that's fucking cardi b nope it's theo dude dustin poirier the other day he goes he said i'm gonna get you and keith peterson to fight at 165 that's what he said oh the ref with the neck yeah the ref who looks just like Nick Swartzen, who basically there's no doubt that Nick Swartzen will play Keith Peterson in a biopic.
Starting point is 01:02:30 Can you bring up some pictures of these guys, Nick? I'd rather see you and Keith Peterson. Yeah, I want to see you and Keith Peterson fucking fight. Oh, yeah. He'd die. Nick Swartzen. Yeah, dude. That would be if Nick Swartzen.
Starting point is 01:02:41 I'll tell you what. I don't want my life in his hands if he has a neck tattoo. I'll tell you that right now. There's been some bad ideas. I think you do, man. Dude, I'd rather see you and Keith Peterson as spelling bee than a fight. Okay. And sometimes why, baby.
Starting point is 01:02:59 That's all I'm saying. Let's see if they got Nick Schwartz in there. Yeah, Nick definitely looks like him a little bit. Enough, huh? Yeah, that picture right there to the right and left of that one. This one? Actually, the one you had chosen is good. He looks a little like him.
Starting point is 01:03:16 I can see it. It's all right. Yeah, see that? A little bit. Put some tattoos on him, shave his head. Imagine Nick was your ref in an actual fight. Oh, my God. I'd be stressed, bro. Yeah, I that? A little bit. Put some tattoos on him, shave his head. Imagine Nick was your ref in an actual fight. Oh, my God. I'd be stressed, bro.
Starting point is 01:03:28 Yeah, I'd be stressed. Imagine if you got into a ring for a real fight, Brandon, and the ref was just a fucking two-fault. Like, what the fuck? Did that ever happen where you would get in sometimes, you would look at the ref? My wrestlers, I always had, like, Big John, or I had Herb Dean, or, you know,
Starting point is 01:03:47 because when they're heavyweights, they usually have the good refs there. But like Dominic Cruz said, when that Keith dude came in the back, he was like, is there any way I can veto this? The guy has a fucking neck tattoo. No way. It's like alcohol and cigarettes. Now, am I saying he's on alcohol and cigarettes? No. Those are Dominic Cruz's words.
Starting point is 01:04:01 I don't know. Keith Pitching would deliver a Chuck E. Cheese pizza in here here right now i have no fucking clue who he is you know yeah but he's a dominant dominic cruz was like dude can i get a different ref the commission's like no that's who you were assigned man keith peterson's legend man i think he he's my favorite ref i think you're loose on the term legend really yeah i think you're very loose on the term legend dude he's no nonsense man and nobody else is that. You've never seen Herb Dean. Is he nonsense? You've never seen Big John.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Well, they're the best of the best. Keith Pearson's just a guy. Those other guys are like, they've been doing it forever. He learned from them, I would imagine. Yeah. Easy on the term legend, though, you know? All right. What else you got?
Starting point is 01:04:39 What was the last one we got to do? What was the last one we just did? It was jorts. I'm all for jorts. Me and Theo, we're start the movement now the summer's finally hitting let the jorts hit get your cheeks out dude they're always out no they're not man you're it's horrible hide them i keep getting jorts ads on instagram and it's making me i'm like what how was my life what have i done wrong all my ads are for Jaws. Dude, get those whitey legs out, bro.
Starting point is 01:05:07 Get some whitey boulder legs out for us. Dude, you got a couple of dead left limbs under your pants, bro. Get them John Stockton's out for the fam, dog. Bro, John Stockton had some gams on him, didn't he? Yeah, he did. Wow. If you see a man's leg and they got short shorts on, Kat, how does that resonate with you?
Starting point is 01:05:28 Does it depend on the leg? I think it really depends on the confidence. The legs do make a difference. Like, that guy was just rocking it. He didn't care that it was too tight on him. But his legs were juicy, so it was not bad. Exactly. If you got it, flaunt it.
Starting point is 01:05:42 He had huge legs. He had freaking those wet markets, you you got it, flaunt it. He had huge legs. He had those freaking wet markets. You know? Oh, yeah. That boy looked like a squad of fucking Chuck E. Cheese right now. Oh, dude. I'll tell you, I got these wet markets, bro, because I'm hiding this bat. You feel me?
Starting point is 01:05:58 Hell yeah, dog. We're going to hell, man. No, we're not. Yeah, we are, Brendan. I've watched most of the episodes. One time I was all right i was in a irish hospital and i was getting like an std check and they had me like my pants down penis out the whole shebang and the nurse was like do you mind if i bring in some uh trainee students she brought in like four women i was texting one of them at the time oh wow i was like oh hi and i'm just naked from the
Starting point is 01:06:26 waist down but she knew what her eyes but yeah it was like tiny she saw that snake it was a cold day it was the worst snake man what are the odds of that i was like i'll text you later see you later yeah text me with the result. But ever since, my legs have been hidden away. Yeah. People with real white legs
Starting point is 01:06:51 always hide them, man. Yeah. That's like Teal on the glass. That's like me. Can you tan or no? Oh, yeah. I'll have a good tan. I just couldn't be bothered.
Starting point is 01:06:58 I find that hard to believe. No, no. I'm beautiful with a tan. Oh, yeah? Yeah, stunning. Wow. Stunning. All right. All right, Dan. Love the confidence. What do you got, Nick? believe no no i'm beautiful with a tent oh yeah yeah stunning wow all right all right damn dog what do you got nick another debate club well guys i'm from glasgow yes or glasgow let's see
Starting point is 01:07:19 what we call it guns are illegal here so i strap up with that gun dog can't get a sting it boys dogs in a harness that little hound on your chest wow shout out glasgow it's got it's kind of like kat was saying with legs you can wear a george if not if you have nice legs you can sport a nice fresh pup on your chest if it's a cute pup don't put them little ugly pugs on your chest and shit, man. Or if you got – Put his legs like that. Yeah. Or you got a Boston Terrier with his dick out and his fucking –
Starting point is 01:07:52 It's like, man, what are you doing, man? Or you got a wiener dog and like half of it's hanging off your thigh. It's like, damn, bro. Put that thick husky on your chest, bro. But you only see people doing small dogs. I would like to see somebody with a fucking rock and a great Dane, you know? Yeah, get that fucking lab on your chest bro but you only see people doing small dogs i would like to see somebody with a fucking rock and a great dane you know yeah get that fucking lab on your chest chocolate lab dude yeah quit being a little hoe dog make it tough man build up them thighs get
Starting point is 01:08:15 some jorts yeah man you throw them jorts on and get you a little don't get you like a little pomeranian no that's for bitches man man. Yeah. Get that British bulldog. Get that English bulldog just hanging off your chest, drooling down your thighs. Get one on each hip, dude, like guns. Yeah. Do they have the little dogs like they do in the U.S.? Do they have those in Ireland? Terriers, but not the...
Starting point is 01:08:38 You guys have Stratfordshire Terriers? Yeah, but like... Yeah. It's usually big ones. Labradors or St. Bernard's. I don't know what the fuck they are i never i never had a dog you started naming dogs no my my aunt had a dog he's a chase meme i brought around the house and she's like he's only having fun we're like he's trying to bite us what kind
Starting point is 01:08:55 of dog was it it was a cocker spaniel oh yeah i figured you get more exotic dogs over there every time i give him the spaniel before I give him the cock. Spaniel first, cock always comes last. It's one is cock or spaniel, dog. One or the other, baby. I'm still afraid of dogs, though. My brother ran into a sliding door, like a glass door, bust his face open.
Starting point is 01:09:19 The Glasgow smile. Doctor had to come stitch them all together. So now if I see a dog barking and i just i think it's your brother really that's the issue i don't know if it's the dog your brother ran a glass door sound like the irish olympics uh what was he asking uh king or sing it dogs and harnesses king it but it has to be the right kind of dog don't be putting the little bitch dogs on your chest, man. Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing a Great Dane, a Husky, a Chow.
Starting point is 01:09:48 I used to share a room with a Chow. Not an Asian guy like I want to. Well, it's an Asian dog, so it's close. Is it really? Yeah, Chow Chows. Oh, my God. They are violent. Oh, they're one of the most aggressive dogs, man.
Starting point is 01:10:00 They're violent. They look like little teddy bears. Dude, strap a King Corso to your chest. See how it goes for you, man. Carry that 200-pound animal around, dog. Yeah, do some work, man. Yeah, let him carry you, too. Switch off.
Starting point is 01:10:11 Look at that. If you're like a woman with big breasts. Those things are mean. You kind of like feel, ah, now I empathize with women. Oh, yeah. With that big dog titty. Look at this chow man. Wait, they're violent.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Chows are mean. Yeah, they're notoriously mean. They're aggressive. They bite more people than pit bulls. What? Yeah, they're violent child childs are mean yeah they're notoriously no they bite more people than pit bulls yeah they're a problem yeah they'll pretend they're sleeping and when you try to leave the room to pee they'll fucking bite you face i think that's more of a you problem now well i shared a room i rented a room at university arizona from my guy off that uh and your roommate was a child and And I got there and he said, the only problem with this room, you have to, my dog stays in here. So every night, bro, it would be so scary. They stink too, right?
Starting point is 01:10:52 Huh? They stink too. I didn't smell them. I just lived near it. What's this little thirst trap one? What do you want to know? Judd Apatow's next high school movie? What's going on there?
Starting point is 01:11:01 We'll close it out with relationship advice. What's up up tits mcgee what's up brendan i wanted to get a little relationship advice from you guys so this past quarantine i've just been staying at my girlfriend's house um and her grandma lives with her and her grandma will not stop hitting on me. She's clearly trying to make some moves. And I was just wondering I don't want to be disrespectful to her. She's very old and my girlfriend loves her obviously. So how do I
Starting point is 01:11:33 tell her what's up without disrespecting her and my girlfriend? That's all I was wondering. I hope you guys can help out. Gang gang, buzz buzz. Gang br bro. Old ladies need dick too, man. What?
Starting point is 01:11:47 What? Dude, get... Well, that's what's going on here, dude. She's thirsty for this young 21 Jump Street fella. You feel me? Get her some Teddy Grahams, dude. Get her some graham crackers. Them old ladies like graham crackers.
Starting point is 01:12:00 Gotta keep her pipe down. Keep her busy, dude. Keep her busy. Get her crossword puzzles, dude. Yeah, I think that's good. Record Jerry Springers. Old Jerry busy, dude. Keep her busy. Get her crossword puzzles, dude. Yeah. I think that's good. Record Jerry Springer's. Old Jerry Springer's.
Starting point is 01:12:08 Bitches love that. Them old bitches love that. Graham Cracker's Jerry Springer? What's up, dude? Grandma ain't gonna be worried about your cock. She's gonna be worried about Jerry Springer, dude. I don't, I mean, I think, I don't know if she's worried about his cock, Brendan. I think she's just hitting on him a lot.
Starting point is 01:12:24 You know what it sounds like? It sounds like grandma's lonely. Okay. Maybe just hang out. Maybe sign her up on wrinkles.com or the fuck they have for old people dating apps. I feel like my hair's getting messed up. It's always messed up. You're fine.
Starting point is 01:12:36 Okay. I want to know. I want to let this young man know. First of all, dude, what cheap young man is shacking up with his girlfriend and her grandmother during quarantine or any teen okay i don't think it's ever a good time to go live with your girlfriend and her grandmother never especially if the grandmother unless the grandma's cooking doing laundry and stuff and you're eating at three o'clock it's your last meal of the day she goes about around four do yeah, being caged in.
Starting point is 01:13:06 I think you got to get a job, man. You got to get out and about. I think you need to establish a little bit. Dude, if you don't have a place and your girl's staying there, man, and the role is that you're over at your girl's place, then you get what you get, bro. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 01:13:19 Give grandma a little sneak peek. It's the last thing you do from fucking feeding off all their groceries and shit. Yeah, do it. That's your rent, son. Flirt with the grandma. She's not going to you do from fucking feeding off all their groceries and shit. Yeah, do it. That's your rent, son. Flirt with the grandma. She's not going to do anything. She doesn't have any teeth.
Starting point is 01:13:29 Yeah, dude. Damn, dude. Yeah, tickle that old back strap, bro. You know what I'm saying, bro? Yeah, give her a back rub, you fucking pedophile. Yeah, dude. Quit milling around the house
Starting point is 01:13:39 leeching off of a woman and her ill grandmother or semi-ill sexually motivated grandmother yeah that lonely grandma give her a back rub toss in that fucking hot tub dude she'd have a great time yeah you know who's not in your situation young men who have their own apartment okay yeah young men have their shit together dude yeah get your shit in two hands and then go like this bro done son yeah i think you gotta freaking take some ownership man you get what you what you allow yourself to get yeah dude buy a box set of golden girls and tell her to shut the fuck up i wouldn't
Starting point is 01:14:11 do that i would get the set and say thank you guys for letting me live here or that you know i'm trying to say yeah yeah theo said it better yeah uh i'll tell you what you better be doing you little fuckers wearing a mask them old people are dying left and right. If anyone should be worried about COVID, it's probably this grandma. That's why she's hitting on you. That's a good point. Maybe this is- She's behind heaven's doorstep ready to get the fuck out of this world, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:33 And you're out here, a little thirst trapping, meeting people, not wearing a mask. Yeah, she's probably trying to get you to hop into that slick hyphen one more time before she leaves the earth. So I think you gotta look man do work or get out man yeah but whining to us ain't gonna help anybody yeah don't hate the wrinkles bro we got enough of our own problems we're trying to kill each other in a car accident yeah and then we're trying to see if one of us can go to prison for life over it and you got problems because grandma's being sweet open her arms god damn dude get your life together yeah dude it is together it looks like he stole the granddad's clothes like the way he dresses looks like an old man maybe it's the granny being
Starting point is 01:15:14 like ah this is this is uh this is jerry my husband she might just be lonely as fuck man what do now in you guys's cultures what kind of stuff would you do what would do grandmothers do they have a you feel like a stronger position than they do here in you guys's cultures, what kind of stuff would you do? What would do grandmothers? Do they have a, you feel like a stronger position than they do here in America? Let's take more care of them. Right. Kat. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Asians are very family oriented. And you also, your grandma's lived at 200. So there's absolutely, they're going to be around forever. So you better get used to it. Yeah. You got to get used to it.
Starting point is 01:15:40 Chin. You take care of your grandma's and shit still. Yeah. Our grandma used to live with us. And then she was just, just like you said, she's a smoker, drinker, smoke every day, like constantly. Amen. She didn't die from that.
Starting point is 01:15:50 She got hit by a car. Amen, brother. She was like very, very late in her dark episodes. Who was driving the car and who was in the passenger seat? And who went to jail? Yeah, was she drinking? And did you agree to get in the car and then she wrecked? No, but by the way, the person that drove was Mexican.
Starting point is 01:16:06 Wow. Was it Uber? No. There was no Uber back then. Oh, it was a taxi? No, it was just a car. No, it was just a car. It was just a person.
Starting point is 01:16:14 Oh, she was crossing the street and a Mexican dude hit her. She was by a bus stop. Oh, this is why you said Canadians or Mexicans. And that's how she passed away? That's how she passed away. Oh, my God. That's so Irish, I feel like. It's like an Irish car bomb.
Starting point is 01:16:27 Also known as Frogger. How old was she? I think she was in, like, late 70s, early 80s. And that's young for Asian. She's just getting started. It's late high school. That was, like, half of her life. She was just getting started.
Starting point is 01:16:43 Smoked constantly. Never didn't have a smoke. And I'm just spitballing ideas here. We're in the Circle of Trust. Would she change smoke and then play the slots? I don't think we ever took her to a casino.
Starting point is 01:16:54 Oh, wow. But if you did, she probably would. 100%. To be fair. You don't change smoke and not play the slots. She barely lived.
Starting point is 01:17:01 I know. Well, she lived a crazy life, but... How crazy? Drinking and smoking all the time. Sounds like she lived. And she was Well, she lived a crazy life, but. How crazy? Drinking and smoking all the time. Sounds like she lived. And she was strong, too. Was she?
Starting point is 01:17:10 Very strong. She sounds strong. What would she bench? I don't think she's ever benched anything. You don't bench. But she kept picking up stuff all the time. Carrying stuff around the house. Moving our bikes.
Starting point is 01:17:18 How strong? Very strong. How strong? I would say if I was her age, I wouldn't be as strong as her. You weren't strong meet me at 240 son there's a difference there's grandma how strong then there's weight room strong yeah that's a good point that's a good point i'd like to see your grandma bench 315 what's up uh mark what about grandparents in ireland what is that what is it like stick around the house
Starting point is 01:17:42 there's no i've never seen them in an old folks' home renting. They don't do that shit. Only in America. No, you just stay in the farm. But then they're driving. They're like 84 driving. Yeah. Just crashing into people. But they're not going fast enough, you know?
Starting point is 01:17:53 Yeah. Driving tractors, out milking cows. And there's a lot of respect for the old people there. Oh, yeah. Big time. Oh, yeah. Because they have good stories, too. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:02 They're like, their teeth will pop out and you're just like, okay. You have some knowledge, man. Oh, yeah. Is your have good stories, too. Oh, yeah. Their teeth will pop out and you're just like, okay. You have some knowledge, man. Oh, yeah. Is your grandma still alive? Mm-mm. I got one grandma alive. That's it. Oh, yeah?
Starting point is 01:18:11 What is she like? She's about 300 pounds. Really? She used to hide Snickers under her bed. Oh, yeah. My favorite. She swims every day, even now. She's like 98 or 99.
Starting point is 01:18:22 What? She swims every day. Oh, wow. She's 300 pounds. Swims every day. Since I've known her, she swims every single day. Why does she bench? By about 275.
Starting point is 01:18:30 What does she swim in? A pool? In the one piece. At the YMCA, though? She's respectable. Oh, yeah. YMCA. She ain't in a bikini.
Starting point is 01:18:38 Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, I don't know. She's just swimming in jorts. She's in that one piece, son. Bro, what if we come out with water jorts? I'm all about jorts in general. Dude, I really am too, man. I think everything's headed that direction.
Starting point is 01:18:53 Less clothes. Well, it's just like more comfort. It's like people are wearing comfortable stuff everywhere now. It used to be people were in business suits and stuff, and now people, especially coming out of quarantine, what's it going to be like? Everyone's in sweats these days. People are going to be wearing a hammock. Even when you go to the stuff, and now people, especially coming out of quarantine, what's it going to be like? Everyone's in sweats these days. People are going to be wearing a hammock.
Starting point is 01:19:06 Even when you go to the airport, I'm like, dude, does this look like your fucking bedroom? Put some clothes on, man. Don't be wearing sweats all the time at the airport, man. It's your little pride. That's why we're going to sell King's Jorts. For the boat of E, jorts and scarves, nothing else. Now you're talking to two of E.
Starting point is 01:19:24 I can see that, jorts and scarves. You've got to be should be worried with the george man you're not telling out the front sometimes yeah that pressure yep you know boys got to get out um well new king and the sting merch too it should be out maybe end of this week so we've been working hard on it yeah check out on instagram for that and american made american made So we're excited about that. So if you don't like America, then probably not for you. Canada versus Mexico. That one still tears me up.
Starting point is 01:19:52 The real war. Yeah, the real war. The war of king and state. World War I for us. Where do we hold it probably? Ireland. Neutral ground. Fight Island. You guys would love it in Ireland. We need events. Ireland neutral ground fight Ireland
Starting point is 01:20:05 you guys would love it in Ireland we need events we need something to cheer us up god dude I think it would be a great battle I think Canada is going to become the new America I mean I think so many people are going to start moving to Canada in the next 20-30 years they're locked down more than we are well I just think just for overall just for the vibe of the culture
Starting point is 01:20:23 I mean I feel like it's still. I feel like you need to get off Canada's nuts for a second. What? Goddamn, dude. You've been on their nuts. The only reason I was able to get on was because you just stepped off of them. That's fair.
Starting point is 01:20:35 It's a one-seater on their nuts, man. That's fair. I'm on Mexico's nuts now. Yeah. What do we got here, Nick? That's it. What is this? We just put a poll for our hypothetical.
Starting point is 01:20:50 If Brendan drove drunk with you in the car, you knew he was drunk and you died, should Brendan go to prison? 72% say yes. 72% of people don't take personal responsibility, I think. Yeah. Which is why they probably celebrate the lockdown, too. Take a little pride. It's interesting. Yeah, I think overall, it's like everything.
Starting point is 01:21:10 We all have to take more responsibility. But also don't say that Brendan and Theo were both drinking. They decided to get in the car. Brendan was the driver. That would have been the way you should have worded it. Because this looks like Brendan's drinking, picked up Theo, crashed, Theo died. But Theo knew you were drunk. You're in it.
Starting point is 01:21:28 You're assuming that. You're assuming our friends can read. Oh, that's a good point. Should Brendan go to prison? Well, then polls are a tough sell. Polls are tough. That should be the other poll. The next poll is should Brendan go to prison?
Starting point is 01:21:43 99% say yes i'm thriving there start a bike club in there too hell yeah bike club prison bike club yeah like two miles in on the yard around and around only had an hour two miles they just have one bike they're all sharing it fuck do they have two-seater bikes in Ireland, Mark? Peloton Bay. Yeah, not really. It's too fancy. Two-seater bicycles. Yeah, too fancy. Boy, there ain't nothing gayer than a two-seater bike.
Starting point is 01:22:11 Maybe a banana seat. You can't be fancy in Ireland. People will mock you straight away. Really? Oh, straight. If you wear a hat, they'll be like, oh. If you peacock a little bit. You're homosexual, aren't you?
Starting point is 01:22:21 Oh, yeah. Okay, I suppose so. Sorry, father. But Connor's Irish, and they go pretty hard in the paint for him, and he's a stylish dude. Yeah, but a lot of people don't like him either. Well, yeah, he's made some mistakes. Yeah. So it's very split.
Starting point is 01:22:34 Yeah. Still the most famous guy to come out of Ireland. Oh, yeah. By far. Is he? Oh, yeah. No, I don't think so. You think so?
Starting point is 01:22:40 Name one more. Name a more famous person. Bono? Bono? Bono, you too? Yeah. Probably for our parents. Right yeah mcgregor you you two lost me when they forced me to and they fucking download the entire bullshit album to my playlist remember when they did that yeah and it was so hard to get rid of yeah you couldn't get rid of it no you can't slander you too with me here
Starting point is 01:23:02 colin ferrell's pretty big i can't believe the best band in the world gave you a free album. No, I like... Well, it was a shit album. I like you too. Robert De Niro's Irish? He's got weird... He's in The Irishman.
Starting point is 01:23:16 We got Colin Farrell too, I suppose. Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell. Liam Neeson, bro. Liam Neeson. No, that's huge. Liam Neeson. Have you ever seen the thing?
Starting point is 01:23:24 Liam Neeson pisses his pants in public and doesn't care I heard he just has hilarious pictures of him I heard he has
Starting point is 01:23:32 an uncontrollable hog yeah that's what they say Google Liam Neeson pissing pants he just peed his pants but he's just out
Starting point is 01:23:39 in public with a date remember didn't he get in trouble he was doing promotion for damn you know that you know dude you know gangster that is to have to pee so bad he's like dude i don't give a fuck i'm
Starting point is 01:23:51 gonna piss my pants i'm in taken yeah wow wow what a move what a move what an alpha move but did somebody just edit that hand or is that real no he pisses his pants you know he used to box too he's like a real tough guy and he's like six five bro i remember one time i went to this thing called beta breakers in san francisco and they had it was like a race like people racing on their feet and um and uh and me and my friends took a bunch of mushrooms and went out there. And they – shoot, hold on a second. I know what I'm talking about. They had – no, no, no, hold on.
Starting point is 01:24:31 Okay. And they – people were – oh, yeah. And so I was taking pictures. People would come up and want to take a photo or something. Of you? Yeah. And so I would take one, but I would keep my penis out during the photo. I would take it out right during the photo because I had on some cool glasses or something.
Starting point is 01:24:50 And so, yeah, this is when people had cameras, right? And they didn't know, right? Yeah, no idea. So then I'd be taking it right there with some guy and just having my junk hanging out, man. Classic. It was like the best day of my life. That's a Me Too movement in 2020. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:12 And then we got in the race, and somebody deserted a water table where they were handing out water because it's like a 20-mile run like a lot of people do serious. Yeah, and then some people just do costumes and stuff. So we took over a water table. Somebody left, and people were running by. And we were like, it's for Asians only. That's what we would say so you'd have people run up like white people and they couldn't stop to argue because they had to keep going because they're in this huge race yeah asians only keep it moving like asians only man
Starting point is 01:25:33 sorry as soon as asians only like what a shit show oh bro we were on mushrooms all day we had so much fun man that sounds fun it was so how long ago was that last year no that's probably about 14 probably 14 years ago oh you're good man you're in the clear that sounds like an Irish trick
Starting point is 01:25:49 like if you were at a pub drinking and your friend would be like to a girl he'd be like oh do you want to see my A-pack
Starting point is 01:25:55 and she's like okay and she'd lift up his top and his testicles would just be oh yeah y'all some gays man
Starting point is 01:26:03 yeah bro I don't mind if y'all some gays that ain't gay brother nuts ain't gay brother wieners gay if you had that submarine peeping up the top yeah i remember i was in a nightclub one time in ireland and i was dancing with a girl and i was getting too turned on and i was like oh shit and i like tucked it up and i was drunk and dancing and she lifted up my top was just like his dick why do you think why do people hide their wieners so much that's what i'm gonna do you can't have that thing popping out bro it's just so crazy though it's just a stupid
Starting point is 01:26:39 wiener yeah but like i even if even if i was at that club and your dick came out i just went oh Yeah, but like I even if even if I was at that club and your dick came out I just But I wouldn't bring a tent about Dan is big pop out the top in there For me. I was a sixth grade man. I was in sixth grade and I had this dime piece next to me I used to just get them On control. Oh, I got you dude. That thing was gonna explode I miss all that I miss it and I would just take that thing and crank it to the top crank that crank something i'd have to get a buddy to come over and help me push it over to the side yeah i mean dude just like i some i'd even have to tie it off around my leg and then she'd be like oh you
Starting point is 01:27:15 want to sharpen the pencils but not today yeah hard pass for about 15 minutes now kids can't even they don't even get boners. It's like a crime, I think, to get a boner. Or if you get one, you got to talk about it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:30 Or they'll tie a rope around a kid and keep all the blood at the top of his body while he's in class. Different times. Anything else we got, Nick? That's it. I'm going back on the road, Doug.
Starting point is 01:27:42 Are you? I'm going to be that guinea pig for the comics. I'm in Houston next week. Those shows are sold out, but I'm in Spok the road, Doug. Are you? I'm going to be that guinea pig for the comics. I'm in Houston next week. Those shows are sold out, but then I'm in Spokane end of June and then Salt Lake City Wise Guys in July. Dang, congrats, man. 18-20 July, Salt Lake City Wise Guys.
Starting point is 01:27:56 Congrats. I'll probably be in jorts. Can't promise my dick won't pop out. Especially after these talks. And I'm getting my haircut tomorrow in a garage over there in Racine. I am. Dude, I got a barber if you need a legit
Starting point is 01:28:12 guy to come to the crib. Yeah? Yeah, I got one. Dude, how good was Little Brow last week? Oh, he was so good. Love him. Him and Hannah Barron. Love them both. Yeah, she was great. Everyone keeps asking me if we're going noodling. I'm like, yeah, if we figure it out I'm down I'll noodle with her
Starting point is 01:28:26 any day of the week I'd go she's only 5 foot it seems so dangerous yeah that was surprising I feel like she gets some real grappling matches with some big catfish
Starting point is 01:28:34 like it's pretty evenly matched I don't know the odds on her next outing but I don't know and how do we figure out the Canada vs Mexico
Starting point is 01:28:43 how do you figure that out I guess you have to wait until more wars happen yep the only time would tell I still like that Brendan went Canada and he saw
Starting point is 01:28:52 families Mexican I live with all Mexicans dude we'll see if those if the walls get done yep hey that's what we love
Starting point is 01:29:01 about this show man a lot of cliffhangers Mark thanks for coming, brother. Cheers, lads. Yeah, you're the best. Brennan and Theo, fighter in weight. I got to go in and go hard in the paint. I do not think I am in flow.
Starting point is 01:29:13 Black rifle coffee, I'm ready to go. I need a sponsor. I am a monster. About to open up with this at my concert. Flow is contagious. Brows are outrageous. Thicker than girls' letter. Instagram famous.
Starting point is 01:29:23 Damn, hungry like I'm fresh off keto. Seeing red like Andrewrew santino every song i hit like the great bambino brennan ate the queso and the quesoritos but everything's gonna be fine hate on me i do not mind theo looking like the type of dude that got a pack of matches in his pockets at all times they sliding into my dms a couple of you tra but couldn't beat em Quit playing like Nintendo DS You don't want to smoke like Joey Diaz Meaning y'all edible Just got my eyebrows threaded and I'm feeling incredible Brennan's son hit me up
Starting point is 01:29:52 He said it's too loud in the club Can you pick me up? King and the sting King and the sting King and the sting Be sting rat king King and the sting King and the sting Got the bees in the trap We'll be right back. Sting, ay, King and the Sting Got the B's in a trap Got the cheese on a string
Starting point is 01:30:26 Brendan and Theo, fighter in Creole Shout out New Orleans and shout out to CO Colorado, more specifically Boulder Brendan came in with a chip on his shoulder But it's still gold and yet it's still fire If you don't like King and the Sting, you're a liar Brendan's got like a thousand different hustles One of them's at Nordstrom, Ractu and Tyers
Starting point is 01:30:42 Black Rifle Coffee, we hear you loud and clear Your son on the email like, please get me out of here. It's way too loud in here. Watching the Irishman eating pizza, drinking half a beer. Now on to Theo Vaughn, looking like the type of dude that tries to read us songs. Smoking cigarettes with a snapback on. About to hit the crib and turn
Starting point is 01:30:57 Snapchat on. It's all good, we still mess with you. 1811 Pico Boulevard, go get that hater. Derek and Cat, y'all doing great. Thursday upload, not a minute late Y'all wanted to rap, I had to demonstrate Brand new studio, y'all feeling great Putting Chris Delano in his place Now let's go and get you in a game
Starting point is 01:31:14 King in the sting, king in the sting King in the sting, bee sting King in the sting, king in the in the sting King in the sting Got the bees in the trap Got the cheese on a string King in the sting King in the sting King in the sting
Starting point is 01:31:35 Bees sting, rat king King in the sting King in the sting Got the bees in the trap Got the cheese on a string.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.